#it's very funny because he and Damian gang up on Bruce and Dick gets defensive very quickly

[nookisms]

So I was scrolling through YouTube shorts (as you do) and came across a comment on one that said "Tim isn't in any of the DC Lego movies >:(" which didn't seem right to me because he's clearly the Robins in my Lego Batman games, it says so in the paper booklet that came with the first (do you remember those?)

So obviously I went onto IMDb (as one does) to figure out if he actually WAS in any of them and he is! In exactly one of them. And Lego Damian exists! Yippee! That explains why Lego Tim has the Red Robin costume but is still called Robin in the second Lego Batman game. He (Lego Damian) is Robin when Lego Jason shows up in one of the Lego DC movies, but Lego Tim isn't in that one (because he's in a different one)

So I decided that Lego Tim is obviously out on a mission with Young Justice and missing out on all the drama back home in Gotham and comes back with some Lego Starbucks to a new older brother and a lot of interesting gossip

Does this affect anything for anyone who's only interested in comics canon? No. But it's really fun to think about the alternate timelines and what happens in them

Edit: I WAS COMPLETELY WRONG ABOUT LEGO BATMAN 2 ROBIN ITS FCKN DICK?!?! WHY WOULD THEY CHANGE IT TO THE RED ROBIN COSTUME AND DICK?!?!

[bigfan-fanfic]

Batdad and Sons (Batdad!Reader x Batfamily Headcanons)

Bruce

Despite both being men, you two remind Gotham of Thomas and Martha Wayne.

Because one of you is a gentle ray of sunshine who is deeply involved in charity work and seems utterly committed to making the world brighter.

Thomas was rather hands-off towards Wayne Enterprises, preferring instead to focus on his medical career and charities that actually affected change for the underprivileged in Gotham. Bruce remembers Thomas always having time for him, stopping everything if Bruce needed to talk with his father.

And the other is a strong, ruthless businessperson with style, grace, and sensuality, who can somehow manage a dizzying array of businesses while still being the ideal spouse and parent in the public eye.

Martha was the head of Wayne Enterprises and an involved boss - she personally saw to the upkeep of each branch of the company (she was the one to hire Lucius Fox). And even with all of these heavy demands on her time, she always appeared in public with Thomas at all of his charities and was involved enough with Bruce to help Thomas plan every family outing.

So, yeah, up to you which one the public thinks you are

Bruce has a constantly-updating social media presence that is run by the Batcomputer’s AI - it keeps tabs on where he is fighting crime and discreetly has Bruce’s account post things about being on the other side of the city

Bruce will occasionally post a romantic photo of you two

You run your own social media account - the Batcomputer automatically reblogs/retweets/likes whatever you post.

You have a lot of cute pictures of the family which the public goes bananas for.

Bruce is a Slytherin. He no longer visits the Pottermore site.

You find yourself making puns a lot while the family is on patrol.

Example: Mr. Freeze has just been defeated by the team.

YOU: Alright, time to put him on ice!

Bruce tends to groan at these because you have a tendency to interject them at inappropriate times. Once you got him to giggle in front of Selina because whenever she talked you just matched her tone but only said “meow”

“Meow meow meow, meow-meow meow meow-meow-meow meow. Meow.”

You do end up kidnapped a lot, as an important Gothamite public figure, and Bruce is generally quite impressed when you escape, because you can either talk an adversary to distraction, or use trickery to escape, or -most impressive - you once convinced a member of the Penguin’s gang to reconsider his life choices and let you go.

Once he got out of jail, Armand became your go-to party planner.

He also now helps Penguin with legitimate events at the Iceberg Lounge. Go figure.

Alfred

The two of you are avid devotees of “The Great British Baking Show”

Alfred never has a soggy bottom.

Dick spends the most time hanging out while you two make stuff, so he’s into it as well

Jason pretends not to be interested, but he’ll still tell you when bread is overworked.

Alfred is so full of wisdom and advice

And he is not afraid to get physical when needs must

Riddler once broke into Wayne Manor

The two of you basically dismantled him using Alfred’s combat medicine training and your own knowledge from working with him

Riddler had several broken bones, severe lacerations, and a mild concussion when he was wheeled to Arkham Asylum’s medical ward

“Y/N Wayne and Butler - BATMAN AND ROBIN????” said the tabloids the next day. Dick couldn’t stop laughing.

Alfred enjoys opera while cooking and baking, but isn’t averse to classic rock.

He also enjoys Beyonce.

You insist on Alfred having a regular day off, but he insists that he doesn’t need one.

“Please, Alfred. For me.”

*sighs* “...Very well, Master Y/N.”

Ravenclaw. He’s a Ravenclaw, definitely.

Dick

You two know all the choreography to “We’re All In This Together.”

And all the songs from the High School Musical series

Since he was little, you took him to every premiere of every Disney movie he wanted to see, press be damned if they made snide remarks about your son wanting to see a princess movie

This tradition has not stopped. Dick’s social media shows pictures of you two still going to every premiere - only now the two of you bring underprivileged children and kids from the orphanage to share in your fun

There’s a picture of you looking very Zen and sitting cross-legged on the red carpet as a bunch of kids swarm around you and one somehow has ended up on your shoulders. Behind you Dick can be seen wearing Mickey Mouse gloves and grinning wildly at the camera, kneeling with his arms around the shoulders of two young orphans

You personally don’t like clowns and trapeze scares you to death, but you never deny Dick when he asks you to go to the circus.

You once bought Haly’s Circus back from the people Mr. Haly had to sell to and gave ownership to Dick. So, technically, the two of you co-own Haly’s Circus now.

Dick once auditioned for Disney Channel (unbeknownst to Bruce). He still can’t quite bring himself to watch Wizards of Waverly Place, knowing that he almost had a role.

Speaking of Wizards, Dick thinks of himself as a Gryffindor - but he was sorted into Ravenclaw.

Jason

Jason gets really emotional over romance - whether it be real or in a movie or a book

He will never forgive Mr. Wickham for what he did

You have had to talk him down from chewing out people who think Catherine and Heathcliff are an ideal couple

And of course, he has shot his television at that one scene in every romantic comedy where things go wrong just before the two leads get together.

A Gryffindor.

Has a sleeveless shirt that asks if you’ve bought tickets to the gun show. Since he has an extensive gun collection, the irony is somewhat lost.

Doesn’t like to be questioned. Likes to question. You bridge the gap using sarcasm, mainly.

He is a superhero movie fanatic. However, he hates it when the love interest dies.

He does smoke, but he knows better than to do that around you. Roy always snitches on him

Roy is very intimidated by you, for some reason

More intimidated than by Jason, that’s for sure.

Maybe because you’ve made Ollie cry before (long story involving too many bottles of tequila, Oliver asking if he was your type, and you responding)

He tends to listen to you when he won’t listen to anyone else

You’ve proven that you don’t put up with much when it comes to him

“I’m gonna shoot this guy right now-”

“Jason you sit your butt down right now!”

“...yessir.”

Tim

Slytherin.

Sleepy. Too sleepy to do much.

Can be found sleeping in the weirdest places. Once he was asleep on top of the wardrobe in Dick’s room, and had no clue how he got there.

You have since insisted that he maintain a strict sleeping schedule.

Unfortunately, you are ignored.

You once gave him glasses that had pictures of his opened eyes instead of lenses as a gag gift. He uses them daily.

Tim likes to watch Jackie Chan martial arts movies. Or the Office. Or Friends. Depends on how many hours he’s been awake.

Tim is always listening to music - anything with a beat.

It helps him stay awake. The longer he stays awake, the louder his music gets. 

Tim does not like ice cream - on family outings, he gets sherbert.

He’s very picky. You spent five days picking out the color of the sheets in his room because the current combination “bummed him out.”

He forgets that you aren’t supposed to draw on walls and uses his room’s walls as a piece of scratch paper.

You make him clean it himself.

This was unwise. He leaves it as is until there’s no more room.

Has an addiction to online gaming. He doesn’t know it, but you are his biggest rival online.

Because he always tells you “just one more round” or “until I lose”

So two hours later, when he still hasn’t logged off, you log on and grief him until he rage quits.

Then you console him as he complains to you, and you suggest he take a break from the game for a while.

You wonder sometimes if this can be classified as emotional torture.

It’s for his own good, honestly.

Damian

Hufflepuff and proud of it

As I mentioned, he is a startlingly good performer.

Has secret aspirations of being on Broadway - either in the Hamilton revival he’s planning for twenty years in the future or perhaps in something by Sondheim

His artistry continues into other realms

He writes fanfiction. This is not a drill.

To your eternal embarrassment and silence, you have become an avid reader of his work. (You created a fake account just to reblog and comment your support. Damian is unaware of this)

If you decide to send him to school (Gotham Academy or wherever), he gets into a lot of fights.

Mostly in defense of others, but also the occasional “he looked at me funny” or “said something about my parents”

I’d recommend home-schooling or online school for Damian. It fits better with his schedule so that his sleep cycle isn’t completely thrown off, and it keeps him away from the little creeps running wild in Gotham (there’s a statistic floating around that 80% of the Joker Gang is under 18, and it isn’t completely inaccurate).

He is a history buff, particularly when it comes to battles and battle tactics.

He knows battle strategy back to front

And yet he struggles with Checkers, and for some reason, Monopoly.

Damian was not given a middle name, so whenever you want to middle-name him, you make up some absurd placeholder.

“Damian Fingercrumpet Wayne, get down from the chandelier!”

“So help me, Damian Stipplenibbler Wayne, I will take away your zoo membership!

“Damian Montague Sasparilla Carthaginian Wayne, I want to talk to you right now!