#it's their day and i still love them deeply despite the bs of it all

[mischas]

The O.C. Season 1, Episode 14 "The Countdown" Production Draft dated October 10, 2003 Episode aired December 17, 2003

[devillime]

ok I've been seeing a lot of how the obey me characters would replace mc but let's think about how they would react after finding out they've been lied too

I just wanna preference this saying that this is about my mc you can feel free to tell me how your mc would react so a lot my Headcanons are in this i.e some of the characters in theater/anime club with nanami (that's my Mc name I just didn't feel like putting down just in case people got confused)

Diavolo thought it might be good to include another exchange student to the course to see how things will play out but sadly don't go how he wanted to

Luke

I can see Luke essential not really liking the new exchange student he knows how mc can be obvious sometimes but for the most part she can with stand a lot of issues on her own so when she starts getting in to trouble he finds it suspicious especially since it after the new exchange student joined

Thirteen

even though she know mc that well she can spot the difference between a liar and the truth so when mc starts getting into trouble out of nowhere she knows it's not mc fault

Mephistopheles

same as thirteen he doesn't know her well but since he cares for his few friends in the newspaper club and mc has help resolve conflicts they tend to run into plus allow them to get the latest scope on the theater club plays he can tell by her actions that mc isn't the type to start drama then act like the victim she admits her mistakes

Raphael

he can only go off the thing mc has done and stories from Luke but he can tell that mc is good hearted helping people despite being around demons she never excludes anyone even if they did her wrong she also makes sure to talk to him even though most people take one look at him and run

Belphegor

He knows mc doesn't fully forgive him for the incident but she still acts civil towards him even after he lied the fact she never excluded him when she was rightly do so he can never replace mc

Beelzebub

simple her cooking he can tell she puts her love into her cooking and he deeply appreciated he never felt ashamed to eat around her once he met mc family in the human realm he felt as if his family was whole again and for that he’s forever thankful but once the new exchange student arrives and mc starts getting into trouble he doesn't believe he knows mc

Satan and Leviathan

I group them together because they don't believe anything that comes out the new exchange student mouth they know how hard mc work just so they could get into the theater club with her and both of them feel closer to each realizing how similar they are and found people with similar interests as them thanks to mc

Barbatos

if he can see into the future then he can see through the new exchange student bs like come on "mc pushed me downstairs all because she's jealous of me" lies you walked down then fell off on three steps

Diavolo

at first he wanted to believe the new exchange student but remembering the time he spent with mc and how hurt he would be in her position so he stayed neutral for the most part until barbatos told him everything let's just say in a fit of rage Diavolo screamed but it ranged throughout devildom

Asmodeus

as much as the new exchange student tries to copy asmo they could never replace mc he's loves her way too much but one the new exchange student starts talking shit about mc during a spa day "listen here my dear you better stop talking about my sweet cotton candy like that or else I'm gonna do something you wouldn't like" after that he kept an eye out

Solomon

ah this stupid old man that I love he obviously lived around long enough to know the difference between a trick so he pulls the new exchange student aside making a very clear statement that scares the the new exchange student

Simeon

he genuinely wants to see the good in people so it hurts mc when he looks at her and say "I didn't know you were like this mc " he feels bad after saying that especially when he bring it up to everyone at the Purgatory Hall he feels as if he did something one the others give him blank expression

Mammon

agh my heart it hurt writing this but since at this point mc doesn't need a body guard especially after going under solomon wing mammon starts to connect with the new exchange student but he doesn't realize how much he's been putting off his plans with mc and once trouble starts mammon lashes out at mc but he does feel guilty once he looks into mc eyes

Lucifer

oh god where to start he doesn't buy some of the excuse the new exchange student throws toward mc but the new exchange student does things that lucifer felt mc hasn't done for him so he starts to believe the new exchange student he does get hurt when mc starts to skip meals because she doesn't want to see him

how mc feels

Mc

she knows what the new exchange student is doing and she's choosing to ignore it she not really bothered by it for the most part but normally she fine with things since it means she doesn't have to worry about mammon dragging her away from her friends and since lucifer doesn't check up on her as often she's been eating in her room watching tv

a lie has been exposed

one day mc was in the student council room looking for some notes Satan had left for her "oh mc so nice to see you!" they say approaching mc but mc ignores them and still was searching for the notes till she got hit on the head "don’t ignore me when I'm talking to you" mc held her head looking up at them holding a candle holder "now you're gonna listen to me I want you to tell Diavolo that you would like to drop out of the exchange program and give your D.D.D to the trash since who needs you huh? I know your hurt when lucifer holds my head or how mammon chooses me over you or does it hurt knowing siemon doesn't like you anymore hmm?" Once they turn around they saw the brothers and everyone else there they had no excuse now "ooohh busted"

Luke and thirteen

the first two to yell "I TOLD YOU SO!" thirteen mine that luke

luke checks on mc wounds

thirteen mainly telling mammon off for being stupid

Mephistopheles

mainly making fun of luckier

"huh who would have though the lucifer would be trick by a human hmph"

"I don't even have a pact with them yet I know she never do the things she been accused of"

has the biggest grin

Beel,Belphie, Satan,Levi and Asmo

they are mainly pissed about the fact mc got hurt but are also man realizing what mammon and lucifer had done

"oi mammon lucifer apologize to her you guys are the main cause of this"

*sighs* "I know mammon stupid but you too lucifer so disappointing"

"if you guys don't make things right I'll find ruri Chan and make her force you guys to get things right"

"can't believe you guys trusted someone over mc despite us knowing her for years now"

"lucifer,mammon just make things right between her please I don't want this drama to go on any longer it making me lose my appetite"

Simeon

he felt as if he couldn't trust himself anymore

"I hurt mc trying to be so humble about giving them a chance they ruined my and mc relationship"

Simeon just stared at the ground bearing himself up in his thoughts

Solomon and Raphael

on any other auction they would try to make simeon a bit better he doesn't deserve it

solomon mainly is smiling but something popped in his head

"say simeon,mammon didn't both of you say that demons can know when someone is lying and angel know when someone is good hearted I wonder why didn't you use that power?"

Raphael was even shocked once that phrase left solomon mouth but he couldn't help but agree it was true

"he has a point we have power to know when someone is being truthful with us yet you believe someone who time he wasn’t even as long as mine or thirteen time here yet you ignore someone who might as well know you for a few years now"

Mammon

he started crying violently running to mc hugging them

"mc I'm so so sorry I didn’t mean to ignore you please forgive me please!!"

he clinged on her tightly to the point she almost couldn't breathe

"MAMMON YOUR CHOCKING HER!"

he let go but rested his head against her shoulder sodding a apology through sobs

Diavolo and Barbatos

they don't speak for a bit but clearly agree with what solomon and Raphael had said

"Well you two are very much right but I like to apologize for almost believing the lies as I wouldn't want to be in mc position having people I trust fall for the smallest things with that being said I think we'd be better off with just two human students instead of three"

the new exchange student bags were already packed by the time anyone realized barbatos had disappeared and open a portal

once the exchange student left barbatos cleared his throat

"well now the problems gone I'll gladly make dinner for everyone since things have been so hectic"

Lucifer

he didn't react to much what was going on he was laser focus on mc

"I foolish let someone get between us she can never trust me again"

after the dinner party lucifer dragged mc into his room

once they were alone in his room she instantly "ew it fucking smells in here bleh it you get new candles?? they smell awful!"

he smirked the scoop her into his arm laying her on his bed buiring his face into her neck

"im so sorry for not believing you I know it's gonna take a lot to earn your forgiveness"

Mc

she was going to act cocky till she noticed that the others saw that they exposed themselves

kept making face to the others words

was suprised it took mammon so long to cling onto them

the minute barbatos offer to make dinner

"oh how could we not expect it I mean it be a waste to refuse your delicious food"

kept making joke towards simeon,mammon and lucifer

"awww did someone miss my warm hugs but knowing your sadistic ass it probably something else"

couldn't walk the next morning because of lucifer

[skitskatdacat63]

catie let’s discuss vettonso headcanons what are ur favs

*sends you to my vettonso tag* shsjkdkf kidding kidding, but wah this is so weirdly hard to answer despite the fact that I think about them literally every day of my life, ig they're just kinda intrinsic to me 😭 but I'll try my best!

I think Fernando really resented Seb for a while, especially during the championship fight years, and originally was very unhappy when Seb then went on to take his Ferrari seat away from him too. But then while he was gone from f1, he kept track of f1 still and realized Seb was going through the same ferrari bs and pain and failure to realize your childhood dream that he himself went through, and he then softened on Seb.

I find them literally to be the same person(but their narratives are offset.) And I think that's a big reason why they never really became friends, they're *too* similar to the point where it annoys each other too much fhfkkff Especially bcs theyre always ahead of one another in the narrative(fernando won his wdc before, fernando is in ferrari before Seb, seb is in Aston before Fernando, etc.) It's just weird to kinda witness someone that's so similar to you, but at a past stage in your life.

They would be the best and most annoying teammates ever. I think they'd both just constantly try to out-compete each other, and maybe it would be toxic back in the day and make the team fall apart like 2007 mclaren or martian rbr, but if it happened at Aston, I think it would actually make the team stronger and the car better. Like fighting for "who can give the best feedback" "who can do the most sim time" etc etc, I think it'd be really sweet 🥹🥹 I just imagine them making post-race debriefs last like 5 hours, except everyone else snuck out of the room at the hour mark, and they've just been debating abt the telemetry at each other, cause they only have eyes for each other <3

^ but yeah seriously think they have the type of competition that could bring each other together, not drive each other apart. Especially at their softened old man age. I guess I think, being forced into such close quarters with each other, they'd be able to realize how similar they are. Bcs otherwise it's just too easy for them to avoid each other. I mean I think a lot about the japan 2023 pics, them talking over the car that was practically the product of their joint effort, and that makes me so emotional 🤧

They absolutely love irritating each other, irs like a sport. I like to think though that Seb kept doing it soooo much pre-Fernando first retirement, and Fernando was always like 😐 just sooooo done with it, and often unwilling to fully play along. I love how seemingly Seb is one of the only ones who can kinda make his mask break, and have him show full annoyance. Like think about the "you must leave the space" clip, Fernando is sooooo annoyed, its just so funny. But yeah I love how Seb kinda forces Fernando in a way most others don't, if that makes sense? And then he comes back, rejuvenated, different mindset, and is suddenly willing to play along??? And now Seb is the tired one :( but Fernando has realized all he was blocking out before, and is willing to engage :,) BUT YEAH! see again, think about the fact that Seb literally paid a fee to not listen to Fernando talk. Mutually they are the only ones that annoy the other so much that they crack to that point, and I love it seemingly swapped over time. They're just such equals in that way.

Here's the interesting thing, I find them to be mirrors, right? I think like if they met each other when each were at the same place in their career(i.e. ferrari Fernando with ferrari seb, renault wdc fernando with rbr wdc seb), I think they'd have a better chance of getting along. Cause they understand where the other is at deeply, but the way it is in real life makes it so they're at different points and suddenly are at odds with each other. Ig that's why I wish we got them as teammates at Aston! It was pretty cute with alpine fernando x aston seb, but ah man if only we got the actual "conclusion", I would have loved to see what they'd be like when genuinely in the same parts of their career together. I think a lot about timeswap AUs I guess. Like both of them at ferrari being able to commiserate together, their wdc selves bragging about how many races they won(until they find out who the other had to beat to become wdc, and then they choke each other out.)

Me: ill try!!!

Also me: six paragraphs

Though I think if you asked me abt one of my AUs, I could come up with more than just daydreaming about their dynamic sjfkkg. Hope this was what you were asking for???? Also lmk, what are your favs!!!

[lurkingshan]

BL/QL Ask game : The Ugly, the Bad and the Worst

Tagged by @clara-maybe-ontheroad to start some trouble. There are a lot of these, so I'm mostly going to do quick hits and maybe expand on a few that really get me going.

The categories are:

Worst soundtrack / weirdest song choice in a BL

It would be easier to list the BL soundtracks that are not horrible (offense intended).

Most cringe-inducing line (cute)/Most cringe-inducing line (actually bad)

I'm so bad at remembering specific lines of dialogue unless I think they're beautiful/heart-wrenching, so I got nothing.

Most stupid decision made by a character

In a BL?? Baby, I do not have all day.

Worst plot line

Hmmm I'm gonna give in to recency bias and say faking amnesia to get your fiancé to love you again after you iced him out and denied him sex for four years because of your tiger attack-related PTSD (no I am not making that up, never change actually Naughty Babe).

The most problematic show you've watched

Problematic is in the eye of the beholder, so honestly who can say.

A show people love but you find bad

LOLOLOL. There are. So many. Probably the one with the wildest fandom fervor :: Shan personal enjoyment ratio is KinnPorsche.

A show people find bad but you will defend

Theory of Love and y'all stay wrong about this. It is easily one of the best early Thai bls and the writing, character development, and narrative structure are all excellent, but people hate slutty characters so they can't deal with it.

A show that is just objectively bad but you enjoyed it/were horny/because of that one character

Why r u? What can I say, I'm a Fighter/Tutor girlie.

A bad show that you kept watching because you were intrigued/fascinated

Hmmm I usually just drop it if I'm truly not having fun. I guess you could count me finishing Minato's Laundromat 2 despite knowing any hope for it was over at the end of episode 9. I just needed to see how mad I was going to be in the end (pretty damn mad).

A bad show that you would still recommend

There is too much BL nowadays to be trifling with the bad shit.

The character that ruined a show the most/most awful character that you hated

PLERN PLENG (Together With Me). cc: @bengiyo the co-president of the Plern Pleng antis.

Most awful character that you loved

Boston, a beautiful chaos demon (Only Friends).

A character that wasn't awful but that you just don't like

Anyone played by Podd or Jimmy (it's their faces I can't stand them sorry to those men).

A hero that should have been a villain

This is an interesting one! I’m not sure this counts, but I’ll just say I did not love the way The Untamed white washed Wei Wuxian and removed his culpability for all his worst choices (I recognize this was largely due to censorship). I much prefer the more morally complex and deeply flawed version of him we got in MDZS.

A morally bad character you're into/you're not into and you wish people would stop being into

I don't believe in holding fictional characters to real life moral standards. Bad behavior makes for good stories.

The show that disappointed you the most

Let me take this opportunity to drag Plus & Minus again, a show that had all the right ingredients to be a top tier friends to lovers narrative and absolutely blew it to do some beyond clichéd noble idiocy and breakup bs that violated character and undercut the relationship to such a degree that I can never rewatch or enjoy anything about it again.

The Worst Show of Them All Because of Your Own Reasons

Hmm I do not have one. It's rare for me to not be able to find something of value in any media I consume.

Tagging @chickenstrangers @sorry-bonebag @kayatoasted @blmpff @twig-tea in case you want to play!

[alyjojo]

The Person On Your Mind in January 🏔️ 2024 - Gemini

Whole of their energy towards Gemini: 3 Wands

Feelings: 5 Wands

Intentions: Strength

Actions: 8 Wands

Boy when Leo wants to make itself known, evvvery card comes out 😆 Fire always does that in these readings. Either they’re waiting around on you or you’re waiting around on them and they know it. Whoever is waiting is irritated about it, defensive that there is any indecision in the first place, like what’s the problem? With 5 Wands in their feelings, there are probably outside people involved, Knight of Cups clarifies…could be romantic. I don’t get that for most, but for someone you could be loosely dating. 6 Pentacles & 3 Swords could be an inner conflict as well, who to hurt and who to give to, who gets let down, and who takes priority? It doesn’t have to be love, for most I’m getting this person is just nice, maybe a people pleaser to a detriment even, and they tend to give too much of themselves. But still have to pick & choose where their whatever is going, energy, money, time, love, etc. Either they’re in this situation or they’re aware you are. One of you could be irritated the other gives so much to other people or allows other people to demand things of them - out of love.

Their intentions are to keep their mouth shut, coast along peacefully, take their time and make sure whatever they decide or say is what they really want to decide or say. Or that’s the intention anyway, cuz they’re actually speaking or acting quite impulsively despite the desire to refrain. Could be a fire sign. In action they’re going to speak up, say something, do something, it will be clearly known what they think and feel because they can’t just “chill”, they’re either angry or inspired passionately to speak their mind on a subject, 4 Cups, either you’re not paying enough attention to *them*, and wtf, or these other people don’t even care so why do you? Something like that. Or switch it 💜 If this is someone you’re dating casually, that’s probably about to end soon, they’re done being just an option to you.

Messages:

Their side:

- Blaming you 💯

- Soothing Presence 😌

Your side:

- What other people say matters too much to me.

- New Beginning

Possible signs:

Leo 💯, Taurus, Libra & Sagittarius

If you’re dealing with:

Strength rev & 5 Wands can show a lack of confidence when it comes to competition, other people, conflict & drama. There’s a people pleaser vibe with you that seems to be an issue. You could have people like that in your corner though, drama, or could feel like you’re up against that, it’s a no from you, you don’t want any of it.

Aries - not hearing from you worries them and stresses them out, they want to reunite, see you, and celebrate together, because they love you

Taurus - spending most of their time working

Gemini - receiving Justice for a very difficult and painful betrayal, situation, ending, could involve work - but what it is exactly isn’t the same for all, for some it’s great 👍, Justice is on their side, and for some it isn’t 👎

Cancer - extremely busy, this could involve children, parents, family, among everything else they’ve got going on, they’re like the family call center or something this month too ☎️

Leo - could have a new job, or something new that’s bringing in money after leaving something else behind, it’s better for them

Virgo - sneaky liar or the town gossip, it’s all bs

Libra - nostalgic about the good old days, probably with family, probably due to something sad that’s put them in this state

Scorpio - excited, motivated, inspired, ready to take on something new and acting on it asap

Sagittarius - generously giving love to anywhere from 2-6 people, but not just one

Capricorn - whatever Tower this is, something sudden or unexpected, they’ve got your back & you’ve got theirs, it’ll all work out just fine

Aquarius - deeply committed to this relationship, loves you, likes to flirt, wants to start a new project or something with you 💜

Pisces - not pleased you just impulsively did some shit, or that’s switched, someone is annoyed

[watermimic]

Now, in a kinder addition to the other post I made. Would I want Sunny and Russell to be friends despite what I said?

So, so, fucking badly, yes.

I was telling someone yesterday about the differences and similarities to how Russell and Sunny both react and handle their dreams, that avoidance is the key aspect shared in their dream adventures and feelings, but how that avoidance is applied is what's unique between them.

Sunny's dream is an escapism, it's a painless place and one where he's very, very loved. It's built on not just painful, but warm memories that he obviously still cherishes, along with his interpretation on ppl he's cared deeply about for years. Sunny already has remorse, in fact it's all he's had from the moment he acted in frustration when pushing Mari. Arguably, the only things that complicate this are Mari's presence, and Basil's, given their key relevance. Basil's involvement and feeling haunted by the guilt of the act that he himself did, and what Basil did, are already established to catalysts for why Sunny isolates, and also serve as obvious things that can and do distort his own daydream.

Onto Russell's side of this... Russell's dream is the complete opposite. Russell is not a maladpative daydreamer, however his dream is just as vivid, while a forced one. It's a medically induced state. And a place for Russell to "learn" by force to reap what he's been told he's brought on his own self. (which I do not agree with, because the factors and circumstances with Russell are complicated.) That said, Russell's dream is horribly unkind to him despite the friendliness on the surface. From the get-go, the monkeys in Tabasa's area tell him off, and from as early as day 3 of the experiment, you can have the world begin to distort horribly, highlighting how incorrect the Happy Dream Inc. was about Russell being a heartless monster.

Back to my original point: It's very interesting to me how these games highlight very well, just how crucial of a detail the way Sunny lived before the incident, and same goes for Russell. Sunny's life was fairly good, aside from the obvious growing snowball of frustration he felt with Mari's perfectionism, and not wanting to let his friends down upon getting the violin. His friends and family alike loved him, and this is a cherished feeling. On the surface of Sunny's dream, we see the warmth before the darker side where the guilt and truth are hidden in BS1 and BS2.

Meanwhile, in Russell's dream.. This is actually flipped but only a bit. Russell's dream, and his own guilt antagonize him fairly early on, and not just in slivers and hints, but enviromentally, actively in bosses and in momentary hallucinations. While Sunny experiences this as well, especially as he gathers the keys for BS, imo it's more gradual with Sunny, and much more route dependent (aka Hikkomori route). Where as Russell, regardless of what route, his dream is going to distort, especially at the presence of warm memories.

One of the most important examples to me of the above, is two things: Chris' relationship with Russell, and his existence in the dream, and the Memory Girl in the hotel basement aquarium.

Chris' area is entirely optional, but more required for someone looking to get the game's true end. Like many of the game's locations, it's only accessable by compass, something that's been said to allow Russell accsess to deeper parts of his own mind. These are usually horrible places Russell has repressed for his own sake, but Chris? Chris was one of the only people around Russell's age who was actually on his side, to the point, where Chris did want to offer a more permanent solution to Russell's problem by letting him live with him. We're left to our imaginations about what kind of face Russell made about that, but it was probably some kind of disbelief. That said, I think it's very heartbreaking how one of the most earnest and supportive figures in Russell's memories, who isn't a victim of one of the murders, is as locked away as the other memories within himself.

Sunny, shares this similarity even with his own best friend, mostly near the end of the Sunny route. His interpretation of Basil becomes less distorted and viewed in absolutes, but this perspective is buried deep, way, way deep. (But TBH Basil is a complicated case, since he serves as an addition to a big catalyst and has more direct involvement to the problem tht way.)

Back to Russell on similarities and distorted views: The Memory Girl in the basement aquarium is very upfront about this, and how she states that Russell's own guilt is warping even the good things, because such feelings can bleed onto everything. In Sunny's mind, a comparable figure is The Stranger. The Stranger doesn't hold his punches when telling Sunny to acknowledge the truth, and will even fight Omori on his path to further repress the truth in himself, before seeming to accept the ultimately hopeless effort post-battle in the Hikkomori route. (My memory here is vague, but I think it's after this, that more shortcuts of BS begin to turn up in Sunny's dream as well??)

I feel like this post is already outrageously long, and I'm sure there's other points I'm missing. But before I decide to mark this as done, I do want to highlight another important similaritiy between Russell and Sunny in particiular, and that's their relationship with themselves. (Speicfically: Omori and Informant). Omori, imho, is far from evil. In fact, Omori is one of my favorite characters in recent years who serves a vital and easily misunderstood role- one as a protector, even if arguably "flawed" in their reasons. Omori has a harder shell than Sunny, he's able to take on pain with a straight face much better than Sunny, and serves as a harbor to hold guilt and pain that follows him. (However, he doesn't process pain the way Sunny does, he represses it, but regardless of the former, it's something that protects Sunny himself from being even worsely burdened by things). When this feeling, this mechanism becomes almost too much for Sunny himself to handle, he exhausts himself overcoming it in the OMORI fight, as if trying very hard to let that part of him also understand his feelings. That he doesn't necessarily need to rely on him that way anymore, that he can handle himself.

Now, the Informant in End Roll serves a similar purpose, but rather than serving as a "protector" of pain, his source of inspiration for existence (game strategy guide tht Russell read cover to cover) allows him to instead fufill the role of a guide to Russell, and doesn't hesitate to remind him that he's ultimately part of him. He ultimately wants the best for Russell in his time during the experiment, regardless of any sharp remarks. But it's only Russell who can actually fufill that. (Not to mention he even has his own cool as hell bonus boss fight that Russell can take part in haha)

Ok, this post has gotten too long. I think Russell and Sunny would be incredible friends, understanding each other on a very unique level, despite coming from essentially opposite places in life, their reactions to the trauma in their life overlap in a number of areas, and I think overall too, speaking from firsthand experience- that feeling can apply in a number of ways to many kinds of ppl tht could be met in life. There's solace in understanding, and community. It helps someone grow 👍

[been-taking-muay-thai-classes]

I mean it doesn't matter how powerful he may be, Malleus can srill Overblot and he can still be poisoned or killed during his sleep. Je is not immune to assassination attempts, either from other kingdoms or from within his own court (much like with Kalim) so the people trying to kill him may be just as powerful as him. So having bodyguards is a must to ensure his safety. Glorius Masquerade in fact gave us a situation where Malleus needed his bodyguards so we have a slight idea of how the dynamic would work in NRC.

Aside from that, it is also impotant to remember that Silver and Sebek don't spend the whole day with Malleus, they have different class schedules, they attend different clubs and they have friendships of their own. Silver is besties with Kalim, Sebek seems to talk with Jack and other first years sometimes and Lilia hangs out withe Kalim and Cater in his club or Idia when they play videogames together. They all have social lives outside of their duties despite their odd quirks, so what about Malleus who shares classes withbsome of the most mature characters in the cast like Trey, Vil and Rook?

Well Malleus has been approached by other students in vignettes and events, albeit not always with friendly intentions (Leona) but in general people treat him alright. Off the top of my head, characters who seem to have a somewhat good image of Malleus and have been willing to talk with in a friendly manner are: Deuce, Cater, Riddle, Vil, Kalim and Ortho. Other characters have also talked with him in a much similar way they interact with others (Idia and Rook) so while Malleus could see them as treating him different because of his status or power, in reality they're just like that. See Vil seems to be cordial with Malleus in book 5, listents to his whole speech about dragons and longs in spooky halloween and even shuts him up before he starts the whole tirade again, so clearly he isn't afraid to put him on his place despite the vast difference in power. In endless halloween Ace also speaks his mind to Malleus because of the bs he pulled and Lilia noted that Leona ribbing with Malleus was a good oportunity for him to have a normal interaction at school, a friendly rivalry of sorts. Cater tries to take pictures with him (something he does often with people he finds interesting or nice) that Malleus refuses, Deuce helps him with his Tamagotchi, Kalim is Kalim that boy is friendly to everyone (love that for him) and probably knows a few things about him from Lilia, and even Riddle in the ghost marriage event has a good talk with him that inspired him during his fight with the ghosts. So clearly the main cast in general feel they CAN approach Malleus to talk from time to time.

The real issue arises when he throws a tantrum because he perceives himself as being slighted (Al'ab nariya, his dorm uniform vignette) and so people change their demeanor to calm him down. This, along with the way he perceives himself as lonely show his maturity but also the way being fae has likely affected his worldview.

Think about it, when Malleus thinks of his friends he thinks of Lilia and Silver, he ignores Sebek most of the time despite how much that kid admires him, he considers the Prefect only after they dissappear in book 6. And this interacion is very important in tellings us how difficult he is in acknowledging friendships. He's been visiting Ramshackle for a while now, talking with the Prefect and being invited by them to an event something he deeply wanted for a long time. Yet it is only after they leave the dorm that he ponders about his feelings on this person. NOW he starts to think they are friends, after potentially losing them. And that has something to do sith how long fae live vs other creatures in Twisted Wonderland, especially humans.

So when it comes to Malleus' perception of his friendships and the possibility of having friends, he still has a lot of growing to do (for fae standars he seems to be a teen still) but also some interesting, cultural nuances to consider when people approach him that he has a hard time understanding.

Now this is not to say he is the only one who needs to mature. Most boys at this school seem to have some sort of "too cool to have friends" shtick going on, but with Malleus is especially interesting because he genuinely wants to have friends. So I really hope he grows and learns from this whole Ob thing and starts to realize that, despite his power and social status, the people of NRC are willing and ready to befriend him if he comes out of his shell and that he starts to learn a bit more about how people socialize outside Briar Valley so he can see those friendly ingeractions for what they are instead of just being puzzled by them.

Having heard about Malleus being basically the "boy who lived" (egg that hatched) makes alot of sense actually

Cause he went from a literal shell to a metaphorical one (his guards and his magic)

I mean isn't it literally stated people don't approach him cause of his magic? I bet having guards around you most of the time doesn't help either.

For example, take the Leech twins. Most people find them scary and off putting, like they do Malleus (albeit for different reasons), yet they have still been able to make friends and form connections with other students (something Malleus has not been able to do, to my knowledge). Weird isn't it? You can also do this with Riddle who was an actual tyrant or Jamil who enslaved people during his overblot. They still have friends. They *had* friends.

And the royalty aspect plays into the isolation too. Cause he's not just a royal, he's a crown prince and hes treated like it. That's a far cry from Leona's hated second born/lazy dormleader who makes a 2nd year run his errands.

Malleus's overblot could not have been stopped because its been building since the day of his birth. We know overblot is connected to emotion and one day all that loneliness and dependency on Lilia for companionship was going to come to a head.

Imo Lilia left too late, he shouldn't have gone to school with Malleus and Malleus should not have guards while he's at school. He's one of the strongest mages in TWST, what the heck is a guard gonna do to help him when he could help himself? All it does is add another layer (another shell) isolating him from the world. Preventing him from any shred of normality he could ever feel and any connection he could form outside his inner circle that was established when they were *children*.

And all this is because he's the "Egg who hatched", a symbol of hope that is not allowed to be anything more than a symbol. Because Briar Valley can't lose the last dragon fae, even if it means killing him from inside out.

The only way for Malleus to grow as a character is to stop being the egg and start being the dragon.

[whateverthedragonswant]

I loved your comparison of Jon’s relationships. Like Jon has to loose everything and make himself smaller in order to be in a “relationship”when with Dany. We never get any angst from Jon about his parentage with Dany making a relationship impossible. Sansa reaffirms Jon, builds him up, and in their relationship they act as equals. Jon and Sansa challenge each other, they reaffirm the other and they protect the other even when they feel betrayed. Great post!!

Hey, anon! Thank you so much!!! =D I apologize for the delay in my response.

I agree with everything you said here. Jonsa was a much healthier relationship (even if there was no romance in it and it had stayed strictly platonic/familial), and they were better for one another. Especially when compared to the Jonerys relationship. To me, that's one of the reasons I could never get behind Jonerys from day one: neither Jon nor Dany were good for the other (I think this realization happened for me in 7x06 when she barely reacted to her child Viserion's death and was more worried about what her boyfriend was doing which to me was NOT Dany).

Isn't that horrible? That we didn't really get to see Jon react to this news other than what we saw with Sam? We didn't get to see him with his family reacting to it, either (something I will never forgive D&D/David Nutter for no matter how they tried to justify it which we all knew it was to keep something hidden from the audience about Jon because they had to build up that big Sansa is the enemy bs). And can you imagine if he tried to do that with Dany after her 8x02 reaction? LOL. Like you said, he always has to make himself smaller around her and diminish anything he's thinking or feeling. (sounds like an earmark of a healthy relationship to me, not a red flag at all - insert sarcasm here) But still it's a shame that we don't get to see him delve more deeply into it. And like you mentioned, how it would have affected his relationship with Dany since it was such a true romance for the ages. (there's that sarcasm again)

"Jon and Sansa challenge each other, they reaffirm the other and they protect the other even when they feel betrayed." - I think that's one of the reasons I love Jonsa so much. Not only did they go through their separate journeys and come out the other side, but they have been built up to such a point that they come together seamlessly and fill in each other's gaps if that makes sense. They may not have had much of a relationship when they were children (that we saw) but they came back together as adults and despite the bumps in the road, they have a deep and trusting relationship by the time Dany comes into the picture. They are solid, even when they disagree or are angry with one another. I love that both of them did exactly as Jon asked in 6x10; they trust each other. And to me, this is part of what D&D meant when they said that the Jon and Sansa relationship would be one to watch.

I love them so much. 😭😭

Thank you so much for the ask! I hope you have a lovely rest of your day!!! <3

[sweetestlamb]

Clarity

Summary: Master Lee makes his intentions clear to a certain maidservant.

Author's note: This couple is so pure and unexpected but I'm fully on board and hopeful that they will be endgame. Maidservant Kim is so selfless and amazing she literally raised the child that she believes is the son of the man she loved and another woman. And she raised him so well and for that she deserves the world and not whatever BS Park Jin is serving. Enter the green flag himself: Master Chaste Tea ain't working Lee.

Also mini rant but I'll probably be taking a mental break from Tumblr because of the amount of shady posts on here. I feel like every other post is someone writing a think piece of why someone's else's opinion is wrong and why their opinion is the only valid one. It's so exhausting when I come here to chill and look at pretty gifs.

More flowers arrive although she has barely any space left to store them. Simple white buds wrapped with a single blush ribbon and instinctively she knows who they are from. They were hand picked and clearly hand wrapped as well not professionally sent like the rest.

Eventually the flowers from Park Jin wither away despite her frequent changing of the water, it's the flow of nature but the next day another modest bundle of flowers arrive and she can't control the thump in her chest and the smile on her lips.

She doesn't anticipate more because she's never been courted and it would be ridiculous for her to be this late in her life, she has Uk and those that she considers dear friends and that is enough.

Or so she convinced herself a long time ago when the man she loved gave his heart happily to another. There is no resentment or true jealousy because without that painful relation, her precious boy would have never been brought into this world. But she gave up on finding someone to love like that a long time ago, Uk was so young and she was all he had in this cold world.

"Ma'am, you have a guest."

She shakes her head, clearing her mind of unnecessary thoughts. Master Lee is being kind that was all, it was foolish to attach deeper meanings to his innocent actions.

"Let them in."

"Yes, ma'am."

She stands up smoothing her dress although there isn't a wrinkle in sight, a nervous habit that she isn't quite sure why it's presenting itself now.

She swallows the gasp she almost releases as the guest enters the room.

Speak of the devil.

Master Lee enters with all the grace and poise of a man of his standing, the bright fuchsia of the scarf she gifted him peeking from beneath his robes. She never expected him to take such a liking to it as to wear it habitually but it does warm her heart each time she sees him.

She bows modestly greeting him.

His smooth voice fills her ears immediately.

"Maidservant Kim, you look lovely. I apologize for not bringing any flowers today but your beauty would have far surpassed them so it was for the best it seems."'

She keeps her head lowered mostly due to her embarrassment, no one besides her Uk has ever commented on her looks in a complimentary fashion. She's more used to jokes about her looks and feigning indifference to the offhand comments that are made in pure jest but still scar her deeply.

"You're too kind.There's no need to flatter me."

There is pressure on her chin and then her head is lifted up and they are eye to eye.

She can almost feel the sincerity pouring off him as easily as the power he emits.

"I am not one for flattery. I wish I did not think such things in your presence it goes against my teaching and everything I know but I find myself powerless when you are near me."

She is without words. These words are for her and her alone, it doesn't feel real that a man would be brought to such emotion because of her.

"You shouldn't say such things, I might misunderstand your intentions." She offers him a final opportunity to undo what has been done.

"What is there to misunderstand? My actions have been clear, have they not? Is this not how men court women they are interested in still?"

Courting.

The very word she was avoiding because she did not want to misinterpret and make a spectacle of herself but now he has spoken it aloud and removed any stigma or obscurity.

"Courting?" She whispers in shock, blinking slowly before stepping back with a quick turn, hiding her face once more.

"Yes, if you would allow me I would be honored to court you."

Why? Why did he want to do such a thing? She was a mere maidservant and plain to look at, nothing in comparison to the awe inspiring beauty of the woman who had stolen her first's love heart and still had a hold on Park Jin's even deep from her grave.

"Here. This is for you."

The fragrance fills the room before she even turns around, jasmine and lavender swirling in harmonious waves.

"I gathered these for you as I was procuring the ingredients for my tea. I thought you might like to use them to make tea of your own."

Her heart aches from his thoughtful act, she has never requested anything from him but yet he continues to give her more than she deserves.

"I---thank you."

She responds with her back still turned to him despite knowing that she's being rude. She's too overwhelmed to face him, afraid that she'll become emotional in his presence.

"Maidservant Kim, I apologize if I've offended you. But I could not keep these feelings to myself, I've never yearned for another in my years of training not once, until I met you. If there is even a fraction of you that could come to accept me that would be enough for me."

She gulps at his words that sound so much like a confession, yet another thing she did not have to beg or demand from him it was freely given.

She wishes she were not conflicted and that her heart did not imagine another saying these very words. She had taken solace in her bond with Park Jin and when it grew into something worth she had desperately wished that he would court her, as he had Lady Dow-ha all those years ago but that had never came. He had made it abundantly clear that his role as leader of Songrim would always supercede any affection he held towards her. She had grown to believe that this was all she needed, it was better than nothing and more than she had been offered before.

But was it possible for her to have more? Or was she merely fooling herself?

"I am sorry. I cannot give you an answer now. I need time to think..... would that be acceptable?"

She hears a sigh of relief behind her and then a warm chuckle.

"I thought I would be outright rejected so this is far better than I had hoped."

"You believed I would reject you? Yet you still confessed and brought me gifts?"

There's a small pause before she gets a reply.

"Preservation seemed insignificant beside possibility."

Her heart flutters like a bird that has only just learned to take flight, careful and fragile indeed.

"I shall take my leave. I will await your response, if I do not hear from you within a week your silence shall speak for itself."

A week. To inspect her own feelings and make a great decision.

"Thank you."

"There is no need to thank me. I will take my leave."

She hears shuffling behind her and then the snap of the door closing.

Only then does she turn around and see the bundle of herbs he brought her, but something else catches her eye. She steps closer, reaching out one hand to pick it up.

A hairpin.

She had only mentioned to him in passing that she had seen a hairpin in the market that she had considered purchasing but decided against it, finding it unnecessary for a woman of her age who was far past courtship.

It's just as beautiful as it was that day with intricate weaving and a single jade stone offsetting the shimmering gold leaves.

With shaky hands she brings it to the hair and gently pushes in desperate to find a mirror and see her appearance.

"Ah. Now, I can leave."

She jolts at the voice stepping back at the sudden intrusion, she did not hear the door sliding open or his footsteps.

It was the plight of living with and around mages.

She has to stifle the urge to reprimand him for sneaking up on her.

It's only the look on his face that stops her, eyes filled with wonder and fascination as if he's looking at priceless treasures. She blushes under his watchful eye, butterflies running amok in her stomach.

Then as suddenly as he reappeared he leaves once more.

She lifts the bundle of fragrant herbs and brings them close to her chest, sniffing them to clear her racing mind and jumbled emotions.

She does not visit Park Jin that night feigning fatigue nervous that he will uncover her secret, she sips her jasmine tea alone in the still of the night.

She falls asleep with thoughts of another on her mind.

[cenestpasaudrey]

Review: Teen Wolf

I started watching Teen Wolf two Saturdays ago (May 29th?? I think) because I was bored out of my mind and I wanted something entertaining and light that I could listen to while I work on my work files. I was actually thinking of just playing The Vampire Diaries in the background since I've already watched it a couple of times but it was gone on Netflix. Then I checked out the recommended list of similar stuff and then I found Teen Wolf; so I was like, hey, why not.

Luckily (but not surprisingly), I liked it. Also, I found out that I finished the series during its actual 10th year anniversary which is dope. If I was watching it during its actual run, I think I would have been a little obsessed with it.

Few episodes in, I swear I really was like "Stiles is such a great friend! I want him as my friend." a couple of times. He's one of my favorites and I liked watching him so much that during the time when Void Stiles happen, I could totally feel how dark the episodes were. He's like one of the sources of comedy in the entire series and I felt that that was taken away too. Regretfully, he was missing during most of season 6 and to be honest if I was watching this during the actual run, it would've affected me. Deeply. The episodes that made me cry was when they were trying to remember his character because he was erased (6x8 & 6x9).

My second favorite character was Malia Tate. She's just so candid and frank. She has no filter which made her actions and suggestions either funny or ridiculously rude and yet, she didn't care. She had her own agendas and issues to deal with but her loyalty to the pack was always there. I loved her highlighter scenes and you could tell that she really was like Stiles in a way. When Dylan O' Brien was not present, she brought a lot of the comedic essence in the show.

My third favorite was Danny Mahealani because he was just so loyal to Jackson and at the same time, was a funny and kind character to others. He's a nonjudgmental character to the point that he knew his friends had supernatural powers and he didn't do anything about it. He just went by as if everything was normal and treat them exactly the same. Too bad he had to leave after season 3.

I think one of the things that separate Teen Wolf from the other supernatural series/show/movies that I've watched is that they've dealt with money problems. Like sure, Scott McCall was really powerful because he was the "True Alpha" but he had real life problems as well which couldn't be solved with him being a werewolf. Despite all the adventures that both him and Stiles had surpassed, there were still some issues that they can't get away from like hospital bills, rent and other stuff money-wise.

I agree that the ending is quite open-ended and there are still stories to tell about the characters. (Step-brother for Scott, maybe? Haha.) But I probably have a different reason why I want another season/movie/whatever. I wanted an extension because I wanted to see to it that that SOB Tamora Monroe got what she deserved. Haha. I hate her! Possibly because she was a guidance counselor who disguises herself as a concerned person but is really a big hypocrite trash that every word she let out is total BS. Like, she hated the sheriff for covering up the real identities of the people saving their small city but Gerard Argent hiding some things from her was fine. Girrrrl.🤨

Lastly, for the ships, I started to ship Malia with Scott when he was able to make her transform into a human after being a coyote/werecoyote for 8 years. I was like this is totally a meet cute. I mean, with all due respect from Stalia (I like them too but I really was going for Stydia because I think they were totally endgame), I thought that they could be together and that would be awesome and they did! I was like... "Finally! A show that pulled through!!! A good slow burn romantic relationship with no one dying on their wedding day, no one had to sacrifice his/her life to save a family member and no one had to be a gossip monger website administrator irl."😤

Okay, gun to the head, I ship Scalia but I ship Shelley Hennig and Tyler Posey more--not in an obsessive way, of course. Just in a "if-they-would-be-together-that-would-be-nice" way.

Anyway that's it. Photos ctto.

Rating: 4/5🌟

[cblgblog]

Hi there! I’m the one who went in the ask about Bucky’s arm and I just wanted to say thank you so much for your response! You genuinely give such thought out and honest answers, it’s kind of amazing I desperately wish I could write like that.

I think probably everyone had a slight laugh at at least one of the memes that people dropped, it unfortunately though evolved into such a negative space so quickly.

I’m also so sorry that you had to go through that.

I hope you have an amazing day!

Hey!

Listen, I appreciate you sharing, seriously. I had not looked at it from that angle before, and it’s an interesting take. Particularly because yeah, it’s Bucky of all people, not just a “regular” guy with a prosthetic, but a guy who’s already had so much of his autonomy hijacked.

As far as why there would be a ‘failsafe’ built into the arm—the ability to remove it, here’s my thoughts. Given now because I believe you mentioned it in your first ask and I forgot to address it ‘cause oops, lol.

If they were worried, why not give him a regular prosthetic, I believe you asked. I think there might have been a few things happening there, honestly. It’s very possible that they did make him a less…Terminator-esque one to start with, when they were still working on the brainwashing in the early days. Very possible he himself requested that, given his constant concern about hurting others if he loses control again. As he got further along in his recovery, Shuri could have moved him on to a more advanced prosthetic.

So, why do that if there was concern he’d hurt them with it? The short answer is that he for sure would’ve benefited from a better mouse trap, so to speak, during the Wakanda battle in Infinity War. I’m honestly sure he would’ve kicked ass even if they’d given him something made of wood, but a better model certainly helps. The longer answer is, I think, where things get interesting.

I honestly do not think Shuri is capable of not upgrading something. Like, she’s got Stark levels of ‘I can make this better,’ so even if he started out with a more typical prosthetic, how long could Shuri resist improving that? At the same time...she’s a teenager, and her dad is dead. Very publicly murdered, despite Wakanda’s infinitely better tech, despite the Dora, who can kill people with their fingernails, despite everything. They don’t talk about that at all in Black Panther, T’Chakka’s death and it’s impact on her. Which I get, because it’s ‘Challa’s story and all that, and that’s fine, but at the same time, it’s still a thing. We got a deep dive on T’Challa’s mourning, but not Shuri’s.

She’s 16 years old when her dad, the all powerful Wakandan king dies. She’s in charge of making the tech that protects Wakanda and it’s people. Now, that had nothing to do with the death. It’s not like they lost ‘Chakka because of a failure of one of her inventions. But still. 

So they’ve lost one king before his time. T’Challa then dies in front of her, as far as she knows, in the Kilmonger fight. Erik takes over and Wakanda’s resources are briefly used for ill purposes. We’ve also got the history with Klaw here, and the fact that, however briefly, everyone thought this Bucky guy they’re now in charge of curing killed T’Chakka.

What I’m taking an extremely long time to say is, it would actually be weirder to me if there wasn’t a failsafe to remove the arm. I say this with hindsight, because I, like most people, I assume, had not even remotely thought of such a thing until the scene in the show. All this assuming it was Shuri’s idea her design, and not ‘Challa’s. Which is it’s own assumption, because the man is a genius in his own right, in the comics. Movies don’t really touch on it, but he does call that first Panther suit “my design,” the one Shuri calls old and then upgrades. Keep in mind too that T’Challa fought this dude. He knows how strong the man is, even if he no longer blames him for ‘T’Chakka’s death. You have a guy who the Black friggin Panther would have trouble beating, being brought into the inner sanctum of a notoriously isolationist country. You have this guy potentially being around T’Challa’s mom, his baby sister, other loved ones, people he’s not only known since birth, but who are now his literal responsibility. It is his actual job to protect the people of Wakanda from all threats.

What I keep taking a long time to say is that in hindsight, knowing the failsafe was there, it’d be weird to me if it wasn’t there, no matter how you look at it, who’s idea it was, etc.

Mind you, Bucky is Bucky and I also think that removing the arm would’ve done relatively little to reduce his ability to kick ass, had he wanted to, but that’s neither here nor there, just an observation.

Annyyyway, this is why everyone always regrets asking me things, on account of these Illiad-length answers, but I wanted to add that yeah, I can’t blame you for stepping back from the fandom. It’s an incredibly toxic place if you turn the wrong corner, don’t manage your contacts within it, etc. I watched the show without engaging too deeply in the discourse because so much of it was racist bs spewed at Sam, villainizing Sam for breathing wrong, villainizing Sam and Bucky both because they weren’t villainizing Steve, those dumb fucks, he betrayed them and they don’t even care...

Most of my engagement with any sort o MCU fandom has to be very carefully managed, because the place absolutely can be a hellscape. So again, can’t say I blame you or anyone else for stepping back.

That said, people like you, who show up to engage in discussion politely rather than screaming? You be the gold standard. Again, I appreciate you taking the time to share your viewpoint because I hadn’t caught it before. 

You’re a star, you gave me an excuse to both think and rant too much, hope you have a fantastic day, thank you again.

[ryuichirou]

Hi, Ryu❤️ Hope u’r doing well❤️

Since u’r talking about ships lately, I’m really curious to hear your opinion about Aru//Ani, its execution, development and progression throughout the whole plot👀, if it’s not a problem and especially if u have the time to. Its shippers claim Isym has been doing a great build up since FT arc (???) and that, despite the lack of development onscreen, the dynamic makes sense (???) cause they “complete” each other and they learnt how to “love and respect” each other throughout the past 4 years (???!!!).

And... I don’t know, Ryu: I really tried to consider their pov, even reread the A/A interactions and look at the dynamic with shipping goggles on, but I really failed to see and understand what they claim. Actually, I keep seeing this dynamic as insulting not just for Armin and Annie’s characters in first place, but also for Eren, Mikasa, Hitch and Berthold. Moreover, it seems nothing but an addiction made out for fanservice, cause it serves absolutely nothing to the plot: if u cut their interactions post 131ch, the story wouldn’t change in the least. Also, their interactions weren’t even that romantic and weren’t focused at all about their supposed “crush” for each other. I personally believe Armin is using Annie as coping mechanism and/or just a mean to substitute Eren; whereas Annie is substituting Armin with her father, cause she feels adrift and desperate, and seeks for someone who cherishes her and appreciates her for the person she is no matter the harsh things she did in the past (I’m crying for Hitch in the mid time....). Other than that, I’m believing also in Berthold’s influence on Armin, cause it’s the only explanation for the sudden interest of boy towards girl, that happen to begin exactly after he ate Berthold: it can’t be just a coincidence imo.

So yeah, at the end of the day, I’m pretty sad cause I used to love both the characters and now I’m much conflicted atm, cause I see nothing but a huge derailment for both and a waste for Annie’s one, who’s developing literally over a love interest... And it’s a very huge pity to me.

Sorry for the big ask, lol... I have this weight on my chest and I confess it’s actually ruining my love for SnK: I feel like everything after 131ch started sucking pretty hard... Plus, the fandom became more toxic than ever😔😔😔

I was waiting for someone to ask me about them eventually, and honestly... Anon, you're such a big mood lol

You’ve guessed correctly: I don’t like AruAni. Not because we personally don’t ship it, but because it doesn’t make sense and (for now) it’s unclear what it the purpose of this storyline and if there’s even going to be a purpose. I don’t recommend anyone shipping them reading my reply.

Basically, Anon, you’ve described everything perfectly, so I’m just going to agree with all your points. I also don’t see a reason for Armin to have this type of love for Annie. I see a coping mechanism, I see something to escape to from the Eren problem, I can even see a self-punishment of sorts, but I don’t see that sweet crush we’re led to believe is there. See, Armin didn’t even know Annie that well. They talked like twice, and then the Female Titan thing happened, and then… he was talking to her for years, but he still never learnt anything about her. How can he love her if he doesn’t even know who the fuck Annie is? And yeah, it’s convenient Bertold timing, I wonder if it’s going to come up later.

We feel like it’s unfair to other characters. It’s also extremely unfair to Hitch that’s also been here for Annie for all those years but didn’t get the special treatment for some reason. Like... their reasoning would be pretty much the same, they could’ve made Hitch her love interest for all the same reasons.

It’s unfair to Annie herself, because, based on what we know about her, she’s drawn to stubborn idiots going against the flow. Because she herself could never do that. This is the point of her character: she could never stand against what people asked her to do, even when she knew it was useless or wrong. This is why Eren intrigues her, this is why Marlo intrigues her.

Of course I’m biased here, and don’t get me wrong: I don’t see EreAnnie becoming a canon thing either lol and I talked about how I don’t care about ships being canon in general a bunch of times already. I’m saying this as an example of a dynamic that actually... works for her type of character. But all the development Annie’s got was kickstarted by Eren being interested in her fighting style and being the first person who legitimately interested her on this island (and who was interested in her too to some extent, at least interested in something she was proud of and deeply loved). She also deeply appreciated it, they had funny dialogues together, and he was the first and only person she had flirted with, which is a huge step for a character as shy, distant and serious as Annie. Seeing her now blushing for Armin looks like a joke when you keep these things in mind. You can listen to his stories all you want, but it’s strictly one-sided. And, like I said, Hitch can also have the same chances with this type of logic. Their pie-eating scene has more chemistry than all AruAni moments.

The “good person/bad person” dialogue with Armin doesn’t feel like a development to me because they were just mirroring each other’s thoughts, so it’s like talking to yourself…

Ok, that was a little bit off topic lol. But yeah, this is why for now we think that either there will be a twist of sorts (i’ll take killing Armin as a twist) or the editor just made Isayama push this narrative, since Isayama doesn’t strike me as a type who likes romance that much or ships his own characters, plus he used romance for proving the cruel world motif so many times already. Or this is just exactly what it is, a last minute het romance, and we’ll end up sitting there like bitter losers being all upset, Anon haha

The fandom’s always going toxic and pretty feral as soon as het couples pop up, and in general huge fanbases mean nothing good unless you want that sweet clout to make money or get attention, so the only thing I can advice you is to distance yourself from them so that it won’t ruin your SnK experience even more. I don’t know you or your feelings, but I think you’re just upset about AruAni thing, this is why the manga sucks to you right now (well, you basically said it yourself, if I got you correctly). And that’s fine and we’re annoyed by this thing a lot too, so we can definitely understand this sentiment. Personally, we pretend like this bs romance never happened so it won’t ruin our experience, and we’ll see what to think about it when SnK is over. Like, what if it’s just a plot device and we get ourselves worried about nothing? I wanna believe that... :”)

And can I just… use this chance to say how frustrated I am that the majority of Annie content there is is either AruAni or BerAni (or the trio)? It’s like she isn’t important when she’s not in the context of those relationships… It upsets me a lot.

Let me just say this… Reiner had more development with Annie than Armin and Bertolt combined. There, I said it. And Reiner’s fucking gay.

Overall, we’ll see how everything plays out, and then you can come again to us and we’ll bitch together lol

[samisadeangirl]

I have a very simple question for you. If you don't like it you don't need to answer it. Also I love your blog so much and I really love the way you talk and throw canon facts at people when they're being dumb heads. BTW the question is .... John or Mary.

Hey there Anon,

It’s great to hear that you like my blog so much!  Your question isn’t as simple as one might think.  I’m not sure if you’re asking me to pick which one I like better or was the better parent, but since the two are tied so closely together I guess it’s still the same question.  It’s not an easy answer though since there are major issues with both.

If we’re only considering the “real” Mary from S1-5 and not the thing that Amara brought back, then hands-down I’d pick her over John any day.  The young Mary that we met in 4.03 In the Beginning and 5.13 The Song Remains the Same was both strong and vulnerable and so passionate about not only getting away from hunting herself but also protecting her children from going through what she had to.  And of course Mary in both 1.01 Pilot and 1.09 Home was willing to sacrifice everything to keep her sons safe.  We didn’t get to see much of her overall, but I feel that she would’ve been a fierce, loving, amazing mother to Sam and Dean if she’d lived.

John on the other hand was a lousy father no matter how you look at it.  He neglected his boys, put them in unnecessary danger, and was emotionally abusive IMO.  Nearly every flashback showed him leaving the boys alone for days or weeks at a time at ages when they were too young to be without adult supervision for so long.  By doing so, he left them vulnerable not only to demons and other monsters but also more mundane threats like sexual predators, human traffickers, or even simply Child Protective Services.  (There’s also Dean admitting in 4.04 Metamorphosis about going hungry for days, which his eating habits support, and it seems more likely that this occurred in childhood than when he was old enough to support himself since we’ve never seen him & Sam being that strapped for cash.)  He even abandoned Dean for 2 months as a teen, and it was simply luck that Dean ended up at Sonny’s farm in 9.07 Bad Boys instead of another juvenile facility that might’ve been far worse.

While most of us can agree that John did need to prepare his sons against supernatural threats, there is no justification for taking them on hunts possibly as young as 8 years old (as mentioned in 11.08 Just My Imagination, though we don’t know if they actively participated in the hunt or just helped with research & prep) and definitely as teenagers.  And these hunts the boys were taken on as kids weren’t milk runs but against extremely dangerous creatures like werewolves.  Even as adults, he regularly sent them on risky hunts, some of which could’ve ended up killing them if they’d been alone (for example 1.02 Wendigo would’ve killed Dean if Sam hadn’t been there), without checking up on them, not even when they called begging for help or telling him one of them was dying.  And for all his talk about protecting them from the demon, what truly put Sam and Dean in the most danger was his insistence on keeping them completely in the dark about what they were up against with Azazel and his plans.

The emotional abuse took several forms.  The most significant was forcing Dean to be responsible for raising Sam and even taking care of John himself while Dean was only a child.  This is called parentification, which is well-documented as being extremely damaging to the parentified child, as well as harmful to the child(ren) they’re forced to care for.  There was the constant emphasis that everything else, particularly protecting Sam, fighting the supernatural, and avenging Mary’s death, was more important than the boys themselves, particularly Dean, and what they wanted.  There was the constant moving around every few weeks or months, coupled with the emphasis on secrecy and only trusting family, that made it impossible for the brothers to establish and maintain relationships outside their family and a few trusted allies.  John himself admitted to being a drill sergeant instead of a father and was apparently so critical that Dean didn’t believe it was actually him in 1.22 Devil’s Trap or 2.01 In My Time of Dying when told John was proud of him.  Both brothers’ self-esteem, abandonment, and codependency issues began with how John treated them.

Despite all that, if we look at the Mary that was brought back in 11.23 Alpha and Omega and then completely ret-conned in S12-14, then I’d have to choose John as the better parent and character.  John had many, many flaws as a father as described above, but there was no doubt that he loved his sons deeply and had the best intentions for his mistakes.   In contrast, Mary was consistently cold and showed little indication that she cared about her now-grown sons, refusing to get to know them and preferring to spend time with nearly anybody else.  

One could excuse her behavior at first as needing time to adjust after the shock of everything in her life changing, but that only worked for so long and didn’t justify abandoning them for months, working with a group that had hurt one of her sons (since Toni being a rogue was BS IMO), preferring the company of a sociopath like Ketch over theirs, lying to them about the BMoL and putting them at risk as a result, picking the AU hunters over them and dismissing their sacrifices as a result, and so on.  One could also point out that John suffered worse--being abandoned by his father as a child (as far as he knew), surviving the Vietnam War, watching his wife die horrifically, learning a demon had plans for his son, etc.--and still managed to give a damn about his sons.

Mary’s portrayal since her return destroyed pretty much everything good we knew about her character previously, above and beyond the reality that who she really was wouldn’t live up to the idealized version created by a grieving widower and toddler son.  No one, least of all Sam and Dean themselves, expected her to cut the crusts off of sandwiches and tuck into bed men who were now older than her.  But learning that she continued hunting after marrying and having children made the earlier version which hated hunting a lie and instead created a woman who didn’t care what might happen to her family while she hunted and didn’t do a thing to safeguard them from her deal despite still being active in the life.  John was thrust traumatically into the supernatural world and didn’t have any choice but to become a hunter and do what he could to protect his children, even if he did screw up significantly along the way.  Mary had the choice to completely remove herself from the supernatural to give her family a normal life or to using her hunting abilities to protect them as much as possible, but she did neither.

[kthstrawberryshortcake]

That Should Be Me - kth drabble

Pairing: Taehyung x Female!Reader, Jin x Female!Reader

Word Count: 3.5k+ Genre: Mostly angst, some fluff Topics: College!AU, Unrequited love Warning: Kinda sad but not TOO sad

No one ever sets out to end up in these sorts of situations, but lo and behold, they do. Are they unbelievably unlucky? Did they commit some unforgivable sin in a past life? Are they just lackluster people? Whatever the explanation, you too found yourself head over heels in love with someone who didn’t love you back. You had been friends since the start of freshman year when a friendly, cheerful boy in one of your classes introduced himself. Ever since then Taehyung had been a huge part of your life. He could make you smile even on what felt like the worst days, and he was one of the most caring people you had ever met. You didn’t realize you were falling until it was much, much too late. No one knew except for your two other closest friends, Jimin and Sara. 

The three of you had been roommates since sophomore year when you decided to live together, despite others’ comments that a guy living with two girls was a bit of a weird situation. It had never felt weird. No, living with them had felt like home right away. You picked each other up when you were down, understood each other better than anyone else, and spent most of your time together, often with some of your other friends as well. Now, in the fall of your senior year, you were much busier than before, but you still made sure to spend time together. Your roommates knew how strongly you felt towards Taehyung and carefully guarded your secret, though Jimin occasionally tried to push you to do something about it. You knew you wouldn’t, though. You were very quiet and shy, as well as a homebody, and confessing was so far outside your comfort zone it was almost comical. So you did nothing, just holding in your feelings, praying they would go away eventually.

Sitting in the floor of Taehyung's dorm room, studying for a class you had in common, it certainly didn’t feel as if you were going to fall out of love any time soon. Sure, it was hard to hang out with him like this when you felt how you did, but you’d rather keep him as a friend than lose him altogether, so you dealt with it. After hours of studying (with several spurts of getting distracted by each other’s silliness and falling into laughing fits), you went to take a break. “Be right back, I’m going to use your bathroom, okay?” You said as you stood, giving him a small smile. He nodded absentmindedly, looking over some of his notes. 

After you’d gone, however, your phone buzzed with new text messages. You’d left it sitting there, he realized, and against his better judgment, he peeked at the screen. It was a text from Sara. “I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. This whole unrequited love BS isn’t for the faint of heart, is it?”, it read, followed by another immediately after. “Btw Jimin’s out right now, you and I can have a movie night when you’re done studying.” Taehyung blinked, carefully sitting the phone back in its place as he processed what he’d read.  You were in love with someone who didn’t feel the same, and Jimin was out? Was it on a date? Wait, you were in love with Jimin! That must be it. He jumped headfirst into the conclusion. He felt bad knowing that his friend was hurting and he hadn’t even noticed. He should really try to be there for you, he thought to himself. 

You returned to the room after that and he gave you a huge grin, which you found a little random. You gave him a questioning look as you sat back down. “You know you’re one of my favorite people, right? I’m just really happy you’re in my life, you’re pretty awesome, you know that?” He said sincerely, and you felt that right in your heart, honestly shocked by his unusual candor. “Thanks, Tae. I’m happy you’re in my life, too.” You replied quietly, smiling despite your confusion, shaking your head before returning to the textbook in front of you. Just for that moment you thought he might not be as far out of reach as you’d always believed.

A couple of weeks later you found yourself totally out of your element at a party your friends had dragged you to. You weren’t much of a party person, in fact you usually avoided them. But you knew Taehyung would be there, plus Sara and Jimin had pestered you into coming with them. You were feeling pretty optimistic as the night began. You looked really nice, if you did say so yourself, and were just the slightest bit hopeful that your feelings weren’t as one sided as you’d believed for so long. You navigated your way through the noisy, crowded house along with Jimin and Sara, who, after all this time, were a newly minted couple, complete with heart eyes for each other and holding hands. You were thrilled, honestly. It had been a long time coming and you were glad they were finally together. 

You scanned the room, hoping to see Taehyung, but as soon as you did, you wished you hadn’t. He was across the room looking as gorgeous as ever, but clinging to his arm was a girl who honestly looked like she could be a model. She was stunning, nearly as tall as he was, slender and with legs for days. You couldn’t help but stare in shock. She was clearly a very outgoing, social person, looking like she was talking constantly and saying hello to almost everyone who passed by, seemingly the social butterfly. And Tae looked happy. You didn’t think you had ever seen him look that happy when he was with you. The fragile hope you’d been carrying was instantly crushed, and it felt as if your heart had been run over by a truck. 

Feeling yourself getting emotional, you quickly fled out the back door. The house was on the edge of a lake and you kept going until you reached the dock before allowing yourself to collapse to your knees, the tears pouring from your eyes against your will. Who had you been kidding? That was the kind of girl he wanted, the kind of girl he deserved. A “hot” girl, a “fun” girl. Not an admittedly cute but short, bookish, shy person who hated large social gatherings. Basically, not you. 

You weren’t sure how long you sat there sobbing, trying to get a hold of your breathing and calm down but failing miserably, before you heard footsteps coming down the hill. You sniffled, hoping it was Sara or Jimin and not someone else. But you were unlucky. 

Taehyung sat down next to you, deep concern etched into his features. “Y/n? What’s wrong?” He asked so sincerely you almost wanted to laugh. When you just shook your head, the tears still coming, he wrapped you in a hug and held you close. “Hey, it’s okay… You’re okay… Tell me what happened.” He said quietly, trying to soothe you. By some miracle you pulled yourself together, calming down even though the tears were still running down your cheeks. You felt like you were going to be sick, pulling away from his hug. “I’m so stupid. I managed to fall in love with someone who’s never going to love me back, and even more foolishly, I thought maybe I had a chance…. Until tonight.” You admitted in a small voice, not making eye contact. 

Taehyung observed you carefully. “He came to the party?” He asked, and you shut your eyes tightly, nodding. “But with somebody else, and it just became so clear it’s never going to happen, and I was dumb to think that it could.” You said in a near-whisper. Taehyung thought over your words. Jimin had showed up with Sara, so clearly in love, and that must be what you were referring to. He really felt for you. He couldn’t imagine how you felt at the moment. “You’re not dumb. There is every reason for someone to love you, you’re wonderful. You’re so kind and so caring, you’re smart, you’re funny… You’re more than good enough for any guy. You’re probably too good for him.” Tae said, and you wanted to just melt into a puddle on the ground and disappear. He had no idea, you thought. 

You sighed deeply, wiping your eyes. “It doesn’t matter. I’m just going to go home. You go enjoy the rest of your night, don’t let me bring down your mood.” You said, forcing a small smile at him. He furrowed his brow in concern. “Do you want me to take you home? Is it a good idea for you to be alone right now?” He asked, trying to be a good friend. You shook your head. “No, no. You should get back to…. oh, I don’t know her name… The girl you came with. Go have fun, don’t worry about me. I’ll go home and go to bed.” Taehyung nodded slowly, accepting your instructions. “Yeah, that’s my girlfriend Kira. You should meet her sometime when you feel better. Get home safe, okay?” He said, patting you on the shoulder before rising to his feet and returning to the party. 

You didn’t want to ruin Jimin and Sara’s first outing as a couple, so you just sent a vague text that you were tired before returning home, burrowing under the covers of your bed as the tears came without stopping. You didn’t sleep much that night. 

Over the next week or so you were even less social than usual, noticeably changed. Your two roommates, now knowing what’d happened, had been taking good care of you and trying to cheer you up a bit. But your other friends and classmates didn’t fail to catch your lack of smiles, how you were even quieter than usual, or how distant you seemed. You couldn’t avoid the class you had with Taehyung, so you just tried to stay extremely focused, ignoring his attempts to start conversation or inquiries about whether you were okay. He definitely noticed how unusual your behavior was, and he sent you texts a couple times a day trying to be supportive or make you feel better. Little did he know that he was only making matters worse. Meanwhile, every time your friends met up for lunch or for game night or anything of that nature, he brought Kira along with him, clearly extremely into her. You weren’t surprised. She had everything you lacked. So over time you stopped going to those gatherings, too. 

Weeks passed and Taehyung was still in his “not leaving you alone in a misguided attempt to be a good friend” routine, refusing to leave you alone no matter how much you pushed him away. He finally showed up at your door one Saturday, smiling and carrying a bag of snacks. “We’re having a movie day, I won’t take no for an answer. You’ve always been there for me when I was down, so I’m going to do the same thing for you. I’m worried about you, you’re so not yourself. So let me cheer you up!” He insisted. The two of you sat down on the couch in the living room, with you trying to breathe deeply as you covered your face, frustrated beyond belief. He babbled on cheerily about how you were a total catch and you shouldn’t be so down on yourself, that everything was going to be totally fine and that he couldn’t let you just retreat into yourself without trying to help. 

Suddenly the pent up feelings bubbled over. “STOP.” You yelled, not looking at him. He was shocked. You were always so soft-spoken, not once had he heard you raise your voice like that. When you finally looked at him, the pain in your eyes was clearly visible to him. “It’s you. I’m in love with YOU. Honestly, I have been for years. I know you have good intentions, but what you’re doing here isn’t helping. I’m trying to get over you but you just won’t let me.” Tears welled up in your eyes, your voice sounding strained. Taehyung was, in short, astounded. Never in a million years would he have anticipated this. “I…. I’m sorry. You’re right, I just don’t feel that way about you. You’re my friend, I don’t…. I’ve never seen you like that.” He said like word vomit. 

You laughed harshly to yourself as a couple tears escaped. “Yeah, because there’s every reason to love me, wasn’t that your phrasing? I’m more than good enough for anybody, you said…. Well, anybody except you, I guess. It’s cruel, really, to hear you say those things knowing the truth of how you feel. You mean well, Tae, and I’m furious that I can’t blame you for this. I can’t blame you for how much this hurts. But you have to stop now. Leave me alone. Stop talking to me, stop sending me motivational texts, don’t even smile at me. Just leave me be, please.” You implored. “Go away so I can learn to let you go.” You said in a whisper, more tears leaking from your eyes. Not sure what else to do and still in shock, Taehyung nodded dumbly, getting up to leave. He paused in the doorway for just a moment, muttering a quiet “I’m sorry” before leaving. And when he was gone you finally broke down again.

He did as you asked, completely cutting off contact and leaving you alone. You did your best to avoid him. He was surprised at how much it hurt every time you avoided eye contact with him or turned to walk in a different direction upon spotting him. He figured it was just the loss of a close friend being painful, so otherwise he continued on as usual. Taehyung spent most of his time with Kira. He found himself bored in most conversations with her, and he found her loud, chatty nature kind of annoying. But everyone said they made the perfect couple, so he must just be feeling this way because of guilt, right? He convinced himself of that, pushing away any thoughts that his relationship wasn’t right. 

Months passed. For a while nobody really saw you aside from Jimin and Sara. If you were shy before, you were antisocial now. If you were a homebody, you were now a recluse. You had all but disappeared from your greater social circle, knowing it was the only way to avoid Taehyung. You focused on your schoolwork. You were visibly sad leading up to winter break, and you knew everyone else was noticing how unlike your usual self you’d been. You were grateful for the reprieve of the break, a chance to live your life for a while without the threat of running into Tae. The time away did you good and you felt like things were finally looking up. 

The glimmer of hope was amplified tenfold when over the break, you met a guy in a bookshop with a radiant smile and a squeaky laugh. Seokjin, as you learned was his name, was a master’s student at your university. You’d struck  up a conversation as he was perusing the cookbooks in the shop you’d met in. He was one of those genuinely nice people who brightened your day without trying. He made you laugh with cheesy jokes and fascinated you with stories of his cooking adventures. 

Before you knew it you were spending most of your time together. You started to feel happy again and for the first time in longer than you could remember, you felt something in your heart other than pain. With him you didn’t feel like you needed to be a “hot girl” or “fun girl”. You didn’t feel like you were missing anything. He thought you were small and cute and loved nothing more than quiet nights in with you, cooking together or watching dramas. You no longer thought about how you wished your legs were longer, or how you wished you were more social, or how you didn’t think you were pretty like other girls. Like the perfect fit of two puzzle pieces, you felt like enough. By the time break was ending you were officially dating. Not that Seokjin wasn’t absolutely lovely, but it wasn’t just him that changed how you saw yourself. The time away from an environment where you saw nothing but flaws had done you good, and as much as he had helped heal you, you’d healed yourself. 

At the start of the new semester, Taehyung caught himself keeping an eye out for you, hoping to see you even from afar. He missed you terribly, if he was honest. To his delight, you had a class in common again. He felt a warmth in his chest when he finally saw you again, settling into a seat in the lecture hall. The light had returned to your eyes. You were smiling again. The relief he felt was immense, having felt awful for hurting you in the first place. 

Without realizing it, he watched you, eventually noticing your focus on the new TA and the looks you were exchanging. It gave him an odd almost nauseous feeling. When the class finally ended, he stopped to read a text before he packed up his things to leave. That’s when he heard you laugh. It occurred to him what a beautiful sound it was and how much he had missed hearing it. Then he looked up. You were standing with the new TA, arms wrapped around each other as you whispered, laughing at something. Taehyung couldn’t remember the last time he saw you smile like that. The TA planted a quick kiss on your forehead before taking your hand, and the two of you walked out of the lecture hall together. Though he couldn’t wrap his head around why, Taehyung felt like he’d been slapped. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day, including when he got dinner with Kira that night. “Baaaaaabe! You’re not listening to me!” She whined, pouting. It was true, he had totally zoned out. He was too busy trying to make sense of the overwhelming feelings he was experiencing. It was late that same night that he finally realized what was going on. The realization hit him with both excitement and a sense of horror: he had feelings for you. The horrifying part was how much he’d hurt you, only to discover his feelings after all this time. But you had really loved him, right? The strength and sincerity of your feelings for him had been so apparent. Surely it wasn’t too late.

That’s how he found himself rushing across campus past midnight, hurrying to your apartment, feeling like he was about to burst with all the emotion running through him. He knocked loudly on the door, breathless from the anticipation and his rush to get to you. You were beyond surprised to see him when you opened the door, standing there with messy hair and a blanket wrapped around yourself. You frowned, entirely perplexed at his sudden appearance. “Tae? What are you doing here?” You asked in complete confusion. Taehyung had a big, dumb grin painted on his face. “Y/n, I’m so sorry it took me this long to realize it, I have feelings for you too! I - I think I love you too.” 

You could hear the excitement in his voice. Your confused face morphed into an annoyed frown. “You smug bastard. After all this time now that I’m finally happy you want to bust back in here and drop a confession?! Are you joking?!” Your voice was growing shrill with anger. The blanket you were wrapped in dropped to the floor, forgotten as you angrily gestured at him. “I honestly can’t believe you’re actually this selfish. You don’t get to treat me like I’m disposable, like some toy you can pick up or toss away whenever you get bored.” This was the second time ever he’d heard your voice raised in a near-yell. 

He heard footsteps as he stared at you, finally taking in your appearance. You were dressed in a men’s tee shirt that was much too big for you and a pair of shorts. It was impossible to miss the dark marks on your neck. A taller figure approached from behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder. It was the TA, also messy-haired in a sweatshirt and sweatpants. You turned to look at him and your angry face transformed instantly into a soft, affectionate smile. “Everything okay?” He asked you, and you nodded. “Everything’s fine, Jinnie. Taehyung was just leaving.” You turned back to Taehyung and in an instant your gaze was like ice. 

The pain in his chest and the hollowness he felt was suffocating. Was this how you’d felt for so long whenever you were with him? Tears were welling up in his eyes, but he just nodded and turned away, leaving as you shut the door. He’d been a fool, and he was far too late, he realized, thinking he may have made the biggest mistake of his life. The smiles that had been reserved for him alone for years now belonged to someone else. And though he knew it was selfish, he couldn’t help but be bitter that you had moved on. 

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Okay that one hurt a little bit, huh? A tad angstier than what I normally write. Still, I hope you enjoyed it! I love feedback so please do leave some. <3

[squishybuttercup]

Nam Jaejoong

28 years old - Genius - Slob - Bookworm

@simvicii​ Alex’s Bachelor Challenge

(NOTE: Under the cut is LOOONG story with his earlier life containing tw violence and depression. If you’re okay with that content, I hope you take the time to get to know Jae.)

  Backstory:

Jae was orphaned when he was 10, and he had been keeping to himself mostly ever since then. His family had gone through series of tragedies, but most of those things do not make sense to a child. When he was 6, his older sister was diagnosed with Leukemia. Their parents’ relation started to strain as they struggle to earn money for his sister’s treatments and for their basic needs. They worked multiple jobs, and took turns in taking care for their children, but Jae was mostly overlooked. Both of them had to stop school, and so their only activities at home were reading and house chores (which eventually Jae had to do most as his sister’s condition worsened). Their parents were barely home, and when they were, all they would do is fight (screaming at each other and throwing things around the house). Eventually, his father stopped coming home. Without enough financial aid, medical treatments for his sister halted. She died when Jae was around 9 years old.

After years of struggles and pain, his mother was pushed to a point of experiencing depression. Again, a child wouldn’t know what to do in his situation. After all these things, the worst was yet to come for him. Robbers came to their house one night, and his mother tried to fight them of from stealing what is left of their savings. Jae rushed to help her but one of the robbers attacked him, all he could remember was a sharp pain on his face before he passed out (This resulted in him having a scar on his face). He woke up in a hospital bed, wherein a police officer broke the news to him, his mother was killed in the robbery. The orphanage has sent him from foster families after foster families. Jae spent most of his time on his own, reading books and trying experiments (when he has resources). He had a hard time at school because most kids and teachers just saw him as a weird kid. When he was 17 his genius potentials were noticed by their school principal who decided to give him a test, wherein if he passed he is then qualified to continue on to college despite him stopping school for a few years.

After passing the exam, Jae was then introduced to a couple willing to adopt him even though he is almost in legal age. The couple were both middle-aged doctors, who never had a chance to have a child of their own. They think that he will fit right in their household, and he did like it there. He had access to a library with a lot of medical books, a comfortable bed, and supportive guardians. During his time spent with them and in college, he slowly started to open up to other people. It was a little awkward for him at first to call them “mom” and “dad” but he got used to it.

For his bachelor’s degree, he took up BS Psychology. His course was a big part of how he was able to help himself heal and to also attend therapy. His social life also started to grow as he participated in different organizations that are about healthcare and environment preservation. When it comes to his dating life, well, college girls and boys don’t usually take interest on someone who has his face buried in a book. He went on a few first dates, but none of those developed into anything serious.

He did of course still spend most of his time reading, especially fictions which are fantasy genre since that was his interest when he was a kid. Jae was usually submerged in studying; this applies to all kinds of topics ranging from social issues up to medical discoveries. Whenever this happens, he tends to ignore the random papers, candy wrappers, water bottles littered in his room so his mom describes him as bit of a slob. (Their housemaid confirmed this).

His motto in life is “Keep Learning”. He values individual growth and always finds ways on self-improvement. He tried out sports during this time too, which are basketball and tennis. They were fun for him but they didn’t exactly become his favorite activities. But his experience did help him realize that hobbies aside from reading are important as well. This was how he developed the habit of jogging every other day, and he also tried going to the gym but that didn’t work out for him so he opted for exercising at home instead.

Jae entered medical school when he was 22, and he originally planned to pursue being a General Practitioner. But during his third year, when he had to choose his field of specialization in medical practice, he chose to focus on being a surgeon. Furthermore, his goal is to be a neurosurgeon.

When it comes to family bonding, they genuinely enjoy discussions related to their field of expertise. His dad is a Physician and his mom is an OB-GYN. But medical field aside, they enjoy watching action movies together. They also go out to eat ice cream during summer, and their favorite food to eat during winter is ramen.

  Right now, at age 28, he has finished 2 years of internship. He is currently evaluating his life and his goals in life.

“I’m working as an intern in the same hospital where my parents work. But I decided to take a small break from that for now. I am passionate about my career, but I’m also the kind of guy who dreams of having his own family. And uhm.. I’ve been thinking that I’m not getting any younger, and now more than ever I want to take this shot at love. I talked it out with my parents, because they’ve always been supportive of my career, and they said they want what’s best for me, and that I’m the one who knows that. I’m going to admit that the idea of my own family also terrifies me, but I also know that with the kind of person I am now, I’m going to be a responsible and loving father/husband.”

The reason why Jae is even able to make this choice, despite the well-known fact that doctors are busy as heck, is because of his security in his workplace and the support from his parents and friends. The hospital he works on ensures not only the best care for its patients, but also to its workers. The board members and all staff are aware of Jae’s capability as a doctor and treats him with high regard even though he’s only an intern so far. He had a discussion with the Director of the hospital before he started internship, to which he expressed his intentions and wishes regarding his working hours incase he decides to start a family. The Director is a good friend of their family, and one of the few people who knows about his past. Which is why he has made arrangements for Jae, with the knowledge that he will still be able to work his best.

Jae doesn’t really know what to think of fate or coincidences, but just during the start of his break, he saw “The Bachelor: Alexander Goth”. He wasn’t one to have crushes immediately on someone, more so on someone he hasn’t met. But boy did Alex leave an impression on him. The more he read about him, his interest in him develops and he hopes to get to know him in person someday. He deeply respects Alex’s work as an author, and he’s pretty excited to read his works!

“I’m entering this challenge and I view it as me spending time with possibly the love of my life. When it comes to what I look for in a relationship, I want someone I can grow with. People are so obsessed with finding their Perfect Match, and most of the time they just look for someone who is completely compatible with who they are at the moment, and worse they only want these ideal soulmates. I think that it’s important for partners to respect, trust and love each other. But they should also be aware that people continuously change overtime, and that as partners they must grow together and always choose each other.”

  Here is a CAS picture of him where his scar is now visible:

squishybuttercup’s notes: hi love!! I know that your aim with this challenge is to have gameplay-centered legacy. But the reason why I wrote this much detail about him is for you (and alex) to get to know him well. Gameplay-wise he can just work as doctor in the sims world and be one of the two best dads in the sims world. Also Jae isn’t the type of person who shares his life story away, so I imagine him telling Alex himself about that part ^_^ I’m super excited for this and I hope Nam Jaejoong gets picked! Anything else not mentioned here you may ask me or opt to have your own interpretation I don’t mind as I am literally offering him to be in your game ajsdfsjkl this also means i acknowledge that you might change his looks to fit your game’s aesthetics. also ily :p

[toosicktoocare]

prompt:  You'll write for 9-1-1? *heart eyes* If this prompt ever speaks to you, I'd love to see Buck just throwing himself into work after he gets back onto the squad, trying to prove himself, and just burning himself out either into total exhaustion or just a really bad illness and either collapsing or ending up with a really bad fever. Maybe Eddie tries to tell him to take it easy, and then watches as Buck completely ignores the advice?

First fic for 9-1-1!

Set when Buck is back after all the lawyer BS that we don’t talk about and when everyone is okay with him again.

Eddie’s slipping his boots on, working in time with the loud alarm ringing overhead, yet his focus is pulled toward Buck, or rather, the slight tremble of Buck’s hands as the latter works into his own gear.

Buck’s been back for a few weeks now, the initial tension has faded away to their familiar routine, and he’s been diving headfirst into his work, taking each call with an almost desperate passion that’s got Eddie worried, to say the least.

He’s called Buck out after two days of Buck working himself into the ground, and Buck fought against his concern then, telling him he has to make up for lost time, to prove himself to Bobby, to make things right again,

Well, Eddie thinks as he gets to his feet, things have been right, and he’s frankly concerned that Buck’s going to drop. He’s tired of watching Buck act like this. “Hey, Buck? You okay?”

Buck turns to him, and despite his poor pallor, despite the small red flush to his cheeks, he smiles wide, energy pouring from his eyes, threatening to suck Eddie in if he stares too long. “Yeah, man! I’m just ready to get out there!”

Eddie casts a long gaze back to Buck’s hands, frowning deeply at the trembling. “Yeah,” he draws out, almost distracted, “just... take it easy, okay? You don’t look so hot.” He pulls his gaze back to Buck’s, eyes rolling on instinct at the devious grin that creeps at Buck’s lips.

“I thought you said I always look hot.”

Eddie turns toward the door with a deep sigh, Buck hot on his his heels. “That was one time, and I only said it because you were literally drowning in your own pity at the hospital.” Buck claps a hand to his shoulder, falling into pace with him, and he cocks a brow.

“Yeah,” he starts, leaning forward, “but you still said it.”

Eddie slaps Buck’s hand away, ignoring the loud laughter that follows, and he hoists himself up into the firetruck, slipping his headset on and listening as Bobby barks out the situation.

It’s a house fire, a two story house fire to be specific, and Eddie and Buck are ordered to enter and rescue when they arrive after the wife of the house informs through gasping sobs and coughs that her son is trapped on the second floor with her husband. For a brief moment, Eddie considers asking Bobby if he can go about the rescue alone, but Buck’s already slamming a ladder against the side of the house and racing up it with impressive speed. Bobby looks at him, eyes narrow, stern, yet patient, but Eddie only breaks the gaze and starts up the ladder after Buck.

“Move away from the window!”

Eddie looks up, only a few rungs behind Buck, to see Buck waving to the father and son, and once their clear, he lifts his arm, preparing to swing his elbow against the window.

“Buck, wait!”

“Now’s not really a good time, Eddie!”

Eddie closes the distance, and it takes some careful maneuvering until he’s got one foot planted on the same run Buck’s standing on, and he’s pulling himself up until he’s level with Buck. “The blood thinners, Buck. What if you cut yourself?” He keeps his gaze sharp, unyielding, and Buck gives in with a wave of the hand.

“Fine, Superman, have at it.”

Eddie slams his elbow into the window until the glass cracks and breaks against the force, and he’s quick but careful to make sure there’s no jagged shards sticking out. Buck’s got one hand on a rung above them and the other wrapped around Eddie’s waist to keep him steady, and the second the last of the glass hits the floor and they’re hit with waves of smoke, they fall into quick action.

Eddie enters the room first with Buck close behind. The two do a quick survey of their surroundings, gauging how long they have, before they move to the victims.

“Is anyone hurt?”

“I have some burns on my arm, but otherwise, we’re okay.��

Eddie’s eyes find the burns on the man’s arm, frowning at the black and red strips of burned skin, but then Buck’s moving past him to the kid.

“Eddie, we’re running out of time. We gotta move.”

He nods, watching as Buck crouches down in front of the kid, and he doesn’t miss the way Buck staggers faintly, briefly, for just a breath of a moment, one hand reaching out to the floor to steady himself.

“What’s your name?”

“Buck,” Eddie interrupts and starts toward him, “let me carry him--”

“--I’ve got this, Eddie! Help the father!”

Eddie watches as the kid, Benjamin, puts all of his trust into Buck and climbs onto Buck’s back, and he keeps his focus heavy on the two as Buck quickly gets to his feet, the unsteadiness from before replaced with quick determination.

“Eddie, let’s go!”

Buck’s voice snaps him out of his brief trance, and he nods and turns back toward the father. “Can you climb down a ladder with that arm?”

The father nods, and Eddie decides to go with is gut and not question the shaky hesitation in the father’s movements. He urges the father onto the ladder with a promise that everything will be fine, and then he starts down the ladder himself. He’s six rungs down when a loud explosion erupts from the open window. Buck was right, he thinks. They were definitely cutting it close with this one.

With the family safe, Bobby urges Eddie and Buck to get checked out right quick for potential smoke inhalation, but Buck declines, slapping a hand to Bobby’s shoulder.

“I’m good, Cap.” He shoots a smile to Eddie and Bobby, his face sporting a few smoke smudges, and Eddie’s gut twists uncomfortably, but he still nods, going along with Buck’s mood.

“Same, Cap. We weren’t in there long.” He wants to press Bobby, to have Bobby force Buck to get checked out because Eddie just knows something’s wrong with him, but Buck’s acting normal, as if his hands weren’t shaking before, as if he didn’t slightly stagger a few minutes ago, so he drops it, and Bobby doesn’t press either further.

“Fine, but I’m only saying fine because I’m exhausted, and because I know you both know to get checked out if you need it.” Bobby’s eyes linger on Buck, and Buck nods, almost eagerly, and offers a mock salute.

“Of course, Cap!” Buck starts back to the truck, and Eddie and Bobby follow, watching as Buck talks animatedly with Chimney and Hen.

“He seems to be doing a lot better,” Bobby’s comment sounds sincere to Eddie, fond even, and Eddie offers a quiet hum.

“I don’t know, Bobby. Don’t you think he’s pushing himself a little too hard?”

Bobby claps a hand to Eddie’s shoulder, a soft smile pulling at his lips. “It’s Buck. He doesn’t know how to pace himself.”

Bobby’s words don’t exactly ease Eddie’s concern, and the worry that’s forming a pit in his stomach remains on the ride back to the station, only growing despite Buck’s seemingly normal demeanor.

“Hey,” he starts as he and Buck are changing for the day. “Why don’t you come over? Christopher is dying to see you.” It’s not a lie exactly, but it’s not the entire truth either. Eddie wants to keep an eye on Buck, if only just for a little bit, just to see if Buck is really okay or not.

Eddie picks up on Buck’s hesitation by the slight tension in Buck’s shoulders, but then Buck grabs his bag off the floor and shoots a wide smile.

“Sure, man! I’d love to see Christopher!”

They go back in Eddie’s truck, leaving Buck’s jeep at the station, and Eddie’s hyper-focused on how Buck can’t seem to sit still, crossing and uncrossing his arms every few seconds, how Buck’s clearing his throat a lot, how Buck will occasionally reach up to rub at his temples.

When they get to Eddie’s abulea’s house to pick up Christopher, Eddie puts the truck in park, but he makes no motion to get out. He turns to Buck, who’s frowning questioningly at him.

“What’s up, man?”

“Are you okay?” It’s the second time today he’s asked this, and to his surprise, Buck’s smile is softer, tired, but still there.

“Yeah, I’m all good. Just pretty tired.”

Eddie’s about to reassure that he’ll make sure Christopher doesn’t keep him up too late, but his thoughts clip off when he hears Christopher yelling for him. He pulls his gaze from Buck to see his abuela helping Christopher down the steps, and he hops out of the truck and rushes too him, chasing the fond relief that swells in his chest every night when he gets to pick up his kid.

“Chris! Hey, bud!” He scoops him up into a hug while offering his thanks to his abuela.

“Is that Buck?” Christopher is looking over Eddie’s shoulder to the truck. “Is he going to hang out with me?”

“He sure is!” Eddie takes him to the truck and gets him settled into the back seat with Chris gushing to Buck about all of the cool and fun things they are going to do tonight the entire time.

The ride back to his house is similar, with Buck and Christopher chatting the whole way. Eddie’s impressed with Buck’s ability to mask his fatigue in front of Christopher, and he stays impressed when they get to his house and get inside and when Christopher pulls Buck to the living room TV to play some games.

“Not too long, Chris,” Eddie starts, leaning against the wall as Buck sets up a game. “Buck’s pretty tired, and you have school tomorrow.”

Christopher smiles at him. “Just a few games,” he promises, and Eddie finds Buck’s gaze, the two sharing a silent conversation, before he nods and leaves to clean up the kitchen.

He’s moved onto Christopher’s room, gathering dirty laundry, when he hears a loud thud. He freezes, heart fluttering to stop, but then he hears Christopher’s voice, a crying shout of desperation.

“Buck!”

His heartbeat comes back hard and fast, hammering against his rib cage almost painfully, and he drops the piles of clothes in his arms and races out of Christopher’s room, whipping down the small hallway until he’s skidding into the living room.

Buck’s unconscious on the floor, a pile of games fallen to the floor close to his hand, and Christopher’s crying and stumbling toward him.

“I just asked if we could change the game,” Christopher cries. “And he just fell!”

Eddie allows himself exactly four seconds of pure panic before he drops to the floor beside Buck, swapping into medical mode within the blink of an eye. His hand flies to Buck’s neck to check for a pulse, and it’s there, thankfully, but it’s racing, quick, fluttering heartbeats against his fingertips, but more concerning is the almost burning heat that coats his fingers. Frowning, he moves his hand to Buck’s forehead, and the heat that coats his palm is alarming. His cool touch brings Buck back, and Eddie swallows back the lump in his throat.

“Hey, Buck, can you hear me?”

Buck groans, his flushed, sweaty face pinched in discomfort, but his eyes don’t open, and Eddie’s muscles tense under a weight of desperation.

“Evan,” he pushes, lightly slapping Buck’s cheek, and Buck’s eyes finally flutter open, crystal blue eyes glassy and colored in confusion.

“...Eddie?” Buck’s voice sounds rough, pained, and the small usage is enough to have him coughing harshly.

Eddie helps him into a sitting position, assessing the back of Buck’s head the entire way up. There doesn’t appear to be any further injuries, so that’s one less thing to worry about for now.

“Buck! Buck! Buck!”

Christopher’s sobbing beside them, and before Eddie can even begin to reassure him, Buck’s calling out in between ragged coughs.

“It’s okay... Chris... I’m... totally...” he pauses, his coughing dying down, “fine!” He forces a smile that’s so wide, it’s believable, and Christopher’s sobbing fades to light sniffling.

“You promise?”

Christopher’s small words grip at Eddie’s heart, so he can only imagine how Buck’s taking it, but Buck smiles impossibly wider, so genuine that almost Eddie believes it, and he makes to get to his feet. Eddie wants to protest, but he understands, so he helps Buck up, keeping a steady arm around his waist, and Buck throws both arms out.

“I promise!”

Christopher seems hesitant to accept it, but he does, and Eddie makes quick work of guiding Buck to the couch and getting Christopher ready for bed. He’s tucking Christopher in when the latter blinks up at him, eyes still wet.

“Is Buck really okay?”

Eddie doesn’t know. The fever feels bad, potentially hospital level bad, and he doesn’t want to lie to his son, but he also doesn’t want Christopher to fall into a second meltdown.

“He will be,” he opts for. “He’s just a little sick, and you can help him get better by getting a full night’s sleep so he doesn’t stay up worrying about you. Okay?”

Christopher’s a helper by nature, so he quickly obliges, squeezing his eyes shut. Eddie drops a light kiss to his forehead before he quietly leaves the room. He doesn’t mean to storm into the living room, but he’s chasing a hot flash of anger that’s beating with his heart, so he does, stopping before the couch where Buck is wrapped up in a throw blanket, shaking and coughing lightly.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Eddie spits out, keeping his voice hushed but harsh. “You’ve been pushing yourself into the ground for weeks! I don’t get it! You don’t have to prove anything to anyone! We all know that you’re a good firefighter, Buck, but right now, you’re acting like a damn idiot who...”

His words fall short. Buck’s eyes are watering, and it hits Eddie’s heart like a repeated knife stab. He gently sits down on the edge of the coffee table, anger fading away to pulsing concern. “Talk to me, Evan.”

“I’m sorry,” Buck starts, voice cracking. “I just... feel like I have so much catching up to do.” He swallows back a small gasping sob as tears begin to spill down his burning cheeks. “I started feeling like shit about a week ago, but I couldn’t stop. I lost five months, Eddie, and I just... I needed to keep pushing through.” He’s crying fully now, shaking just as hard, looking down to the floor, and Eddie shakes his head and breathes out a trembling sigh.

“Hey,” he leans forward, wrapping careful fingers around Buck’s chin to guide his gaze back up to him. The heat somehow feels worse than before, but he needs to address one thing at a time. “It’s okay. Well, it’s not, but, listen, you don’t need to push through anything. We aren’t going to think any less of you if you have to take a break because you’re sick. You have to focus on you first.”

Buck nods, and Eddie makes a mental note to address this when Buck isn’t burning with fever, to make sure that Buck fully understand, and his face pulls into soft sympathy at Buck’s sniffling and shivering, at Buck trying to pull the small blanket tighter around his trembling shoulders.

“Let’s get you to bed--”

“--you don’t have to. Can you just drive me back to my jeep?”

Eddie’s gaze goes sharp, narrow. “No,” he says flatly, leaving no room for argument, and Buck doesn’t press further, a testament to how bad he must be truly feeling.

Eddie helps Buck to his room, helps him change into some of Eddie’s clothes, and gets him to take some Ibuprofen and water before lying down. Buck’s quietly compliant the entire time, and Eddie hates it. He wants to hear Buck’s snarky comments, Buck’s voice, just anything other than the quiet coughs.

He grabs the thermometer from the bathroom, and Buck doesn’t even try to fight him when he holds it up to him. The reading is bad, 103.8 degrees Fahrenheit, and Eddie has every instinct to wake Christopher up and drive their asses to the closest hospital, but Buck, despite his pounding head, can read Eddie’s features like an open book.

“No hospitals,” Buck says quietly.

“Buck,” Eddie starts, looking down at the reading again. “I don’t like this fever.”

“Me either,” Buck says, voicing his own concern for the first time, “but I’ve spent too much time in the hospital over the last few months, and I really don’t want to go back.”

“You have one day to get this fever down,” Eddie decides, hesitance coloring his tone, “one day, Buck, you hear me? If you’re this bad by tomorrow night, we’re going.”

“Got it,” Buck mutters before weakly grabbing at the blanket, tugging it up to his chin. “Shit,” he curses, shivering. “I’m freezing.”

Eddie bites back sarcasm because Buck looks generally miserable. Instead, he slips his shoes off and climbs into bed beside Buck.

“Eddie, what are you--”

“Roll onto your side,” Eddie orders quietly, and Buck complies, but he’s frowning the entire time.

Eddie presses his chest to Buck’s back and wraps a steady arm around him, pulling him close.

“Are you... are you spooning me?”

It’s the first time in an hour that Eddie’s heard Buck’s voice so clear, so animated, and he rolls his eyes. “Yes, but only for a little while because I don’t want you to overheat. Now shut up, and go to sleep.”