#it's the difference in life experience for me

[drbased]

‘Getting started’ ‘getting the ball rolling’ ‘taking the first step’ is a narrative. It’s not real. There is no ‘process’ because the future isn’t real; only the present is is. And only with looking back at your memories you generate a narrative of your life; it’s naturally retrospective. We are narrative creatures who make meaning out of said narrative. But that doesn’t mean the narrative is ‘real’ - it’s a construction of your brain that you need to respect as part of you. Externalising that narrative and pretending it’s ‘real’ is actually a major insult to your brain’s magnificent ability to process and make meaning, and therefore it’s a fundamental insult against yourself.

Some people can use a theoretical future of themselves as motivation, and good for them. But if it’s not working for you, you need to consider why. Despite not being able to get out of bed sometimes, the person who made this comic still made something. Despite having your periodic breakdowns, you still moved your fingers to reblog this post. Compare and contrast the difference between why you do some things and not others. ‘But that’s different -’ yes, it is different. But there are only actions, consequences and what you value. You value not being thirsty, so you take a drink. You value not being broke, so you drag yourself to work. It’s exactly that deep. Narrative makes you forget that you’re always in a direct 1:1 relationship with your environment. And that feels scary, but it’s not - it’s how we’ve always existed, from the very first rudimentary lifeform whose only sign of life was ‘want nutrients -> consume nutrients’. We want to think we’re more sophisticated than that, but we’re not.

Narrative is a comfortable cushion, because narrative makes you forget that when you ‘start the ball rolling’, you don’t magically become a montage, or a cut-scene version of yourself. You’re still there, you’re still making decisions, you’re still feeling some type of way about the stimulus you’re experiencing. Depression is a narrative cushion, and that’s why it feels comfortable. Never feeling responsible for yourself feels safe, but in doing so you communicate to yourself that you don’t deserve to be here (which becomes literal in the form of suicidal ideation).

In my experience, if I can’t get myself to do something, that’s because I actually don’t want to do it. And the reasons I don’t want to do it might make me feel deeply embarrassed: I don’t want to learn pottery if it means I have to take a bus across town to get to the class. I don’t want to read a certain book because it’s too long. I don’t want to prepare that dish because its too expensive. Sunk cost fallacy is one hell of a drug. And narrative has you always feeling outside of yourself, as if you owe something to some universal force of objectivity which is telling you you’re supposed to do those things: you said you were going to do it, you’ve bought the tools, you’ve told your mum, why aren’t you fucking doing it? It’s so easy, what’s wrong with you? But even that’s an abstraction, because in reality nobody is telling you that but yourself. You might not consciously believe in this universal force of objectivity, but you will find yourself bristle when challenged about it. If someone says ‘you don’t have to do that’, you may want to fire back ‘but I do!’

There are only actions and consequences, and what consequences you value. There is. no. ‘should’. There is no ‘have to’. There is no ‘need’. If you stop brushing your teeth, maybe they’ll fall out, and maybe you don’t give a shit. Or maybe the thought of that horrifies you, and suddenly you’re motivated to brush your teeth. Narratives will have you forget that it’s your prerogative as an individual to want, and those wants are never going to pure or 100% correct. That concept is fake as the narrative is. Make no mistake, all these things are useful for us to make more informed decisions so we can live rich, fulfilling lives - but by that nature that means they come from within us and are how we generated meaning and process the world and our selfhoods.

There is nothing ‘wrong’ with you. And as with everything else, that ‘wrong’ is also a constructed concept and is therefore not ‘real’. I still use the word depression to describe what I went through, but I understand now that believing in what society says being ‘mentally ill’ is is exactly what was holding me back. Society says being mentally ill means that you’re broken and wrong and incapable of making rational decisions for yourself. What I discovered is that I’m always a rational agent, and it’s my prerogative to be an individual, and that narrative cushion of depression was actually preventing me from making the decisions for myself that I’ve always known I’ve wanted.

People who have never had depression yet never have exercised, ‘followed their dreams’ or eaten healthily in their lives will be doing exactly the same shit as you and thinking their life is pretty chill whilst you have breakdown after breakdown. The only difference is, those people will stop ‘bedrotting’ the moment their bestie starts a Zumba class and suddenly they’ve caught the exercise bug. They’re not fundamentally more rational people than you just because they don’t have depression; they’re just not reliant on that narrative as you. They’ve not categorised what they’re doing ‘as not exercising’ - they’re just chilling, living their life, and besides the gym is all the way across town. So when suddenly an opportunity for exercise comes along, they’re not burdened with all this narrative - they just want to do the thing, maybe for low-key ‘bad’ reasons e.g. they don’t want to miss out on things their friend is doing, or there’s a hot guy teaching the class.

What I eventually came to learn is that I’m not living in a separate dimension entirely incapable of being like them. In fact, if you’re anything like me with mental health problems you probably have something they don’t: self awareness. And whilst self awareness feels so deeply embarrassing, remember there are only actions and consequences, and what you value. And you exist in reality first, including the reality of you. You can’t ‘old man yells at cloud’ your way outta this one.

The moment I decided to treat my self awareness as a boon instead of a curse is the moment I was able to write aaaaall this shit on tumblr. And is that bad of me, that I didn’t write a book instead? The book is the ‘correct’ route, no? But that’s the thing; I know that if I had stuck with believing that I ‘had’ to write a book, I would have written nothing. Am I so fucked up in the head that I can’t muster up the attention span, to ‘start the ball rolling’ in writing a whole book? I dunno, that’s a narrative categorisation of myself that doesn’t mean anything real. I’m just who I am now so I’d rather work with that. You can call me that if you like, but I’m just chilling.

[silverskye13]

Silver's Care Guide for the Impulsively Inclined:

Hi, did you just receive bad news? Are you one of the many many people who, upon receiving bad news, react with self destructive spirals, or lash out in a need for control? Are you just really fucking sad, or angry, and would like an alternative to hurting yourself and others? Are you just feeling a little manic or impulsive?

Welcome to my handy guide for alternative (self) destruction! These are alternatives to physical and immediate harm to your person. That does not necessarily mean they are safe, just safer, and they are all things I've done before to mixed results. With that in mind.

Remember the golden rule: if what you're doing cannot be fixed, repaired, or healed within an hour, don't fucking do it. You have one body, and one life, and regardless of what your thoughts say in the moment, that body and life is necessary for your future happiness. Prioritize yourself; harm objects instead.

Alternatives to harming yourself or others:

Kick something loud. A tin can. A plastic bag. Take it to an outdoor space and see how far you can kick it, and how loud a sound you can make. If you have multiple objects to kick, listen to the differences in sound. How one thing sounds hollow and another rattles.

Kick something soft. A pillow. A hackey-sack. Take it to an outdoor space, or kick it against a sturdy wall (I recommend brick or stone). Listen to the sound of the batting, or the beans. See what shapes you can get it to land in, and how deep a divot your foot can leave.

Tear paper. Get a cheap notebook, some old bills you don't need, note cards or old magazines. See how big of pieces you can make. Put several sheets in your hand and see how thick the paper can get before you can't tear it anymore. See how thin of strips you can tear. Experiment with folding it into shapes and trying to tear along the lines.

Do a very small controlled burn. Newspaper, a cheap notebook from the dollar store, a handful of old homework assignments you don't need, a candle, etc. The best objects are ones made to burn such as matches or candles. In lieu of that, focus specifically on paper, as it will have fewer chemicals/fumes that can damage your lungs if you inhale smoke. Take it to a well ventilated place, the floor of a concrete garage, your driveway, an empty lot or sidewalk. If you have a burn barrel or fire pit, use it. If you have no access to any of these things, make the burn very small [less than half a page at a time] and confine it to your sink. If your building has automatic sprinkler systems, don't do this. Light one edge of your paper on fire and watch it curl. See if you can burn small, individual poke-holes in the page. If you are lighting a candle, watch the wax melt. See if you can light one match using another. When a match is used, try and burn what's left of the stick. If you want some extra catharsis, write a person you hate, a source of your angst, or just general thoughts on the paper you're burning.

Throw rocks. Go outside and touch grass -- and look for rocks while you're there. All sizes are fair game, but the bigger they are, the harder they are to throw. I recommend something the size of a marble. Gather a number of rocks and throw them one at a time, trying to hit targets like trees or fence posts. If you can find a convenient body of water, throw them in there and listen to the splash.

Skip rocks. Skipping rocks across the top of the water can also be a fun challenge to use your aggression on. For skipping rocks specifically, you want a stone that is smooth and flat. Hold it between your forefinger and your thumb, and throw sideways in an arcing motion. You are trying to get the rock to spin. The combination of the spin, and the force, and the flat side hitting the water, causes the skip. I average 3 skips per stone. Beat my average. My Papa, who taught me, used to routinely get 5-7 skips. Beat him after you beat me.

Play a violent or fast paced video game. Most people have games on their mobile or console devices these days. Pick something quick, with low investment and high reward. Shoot-em-ups and arcade games. Something with a number that ticks up, and stock zombies you can kill. Try to beat your high score, or aim for an exact number. My lucky number is 13, so I will often try to score a number that's a multiple of 13.

Break glass. This one requires some investment to do legally and safely. Note: I am not telling you to throw rocks at people's windows or vandalize property. This is an alternative to those things. Find or obtain (I buy mine at Michael's for $10) some glass panes. They can be multicolored if you're feeling fun. Cover a pane in an old sheet or the plastic bag you bought it in. With a thick soled shoe or a rubber mallet, smash it. Try to make fun shapes with the pieces. Listen to the crunch. Keep a broom and dustpan ready, and make sure you have dedicated time to clean the mess. There is nothing worse than walking barefoot through a room and cutting open your foot.

Smash pumpkins, guards, watermelon, etc. Exactly what it says on the tin. Grab your murder-able vegetable of choice and a weapon (stick, hammer, sword, axe, etc) and go wild. Make as big a mess as you can. I mean absolutely destroy that fruit. If you aren't covered in the blood of your prey, have you really won? Take a long shower afterwards, and wear clothes you don't mind staining. Too depressed to clean up the mess? It's fruit. The local wildlife will thank you. Though if it's summer, you may get ants/bees.

Switch a tree. Find a switch. If your parents never made you pick your own switch, congratulations. If they did, you know exactly what you're looking for. Grab a stick, something green and flexible and long -- whip like. Go to the tree you wish to switch, and smack the shit out of it. You can also do this to bushes. Try to make the whip-crack noise, listen to the whistle of the branch through the air. See if you can take the individual leaves off a branch. Smack the shit out the tree with your switch until the switch breaks. If you're still feeling angry and impulsive, rinse and repeat.

Alternatives to moping sadly / wallowing in self pity:

Write a list of things you enjoy. This is just to remind you that you do have joy in life, actually. Focus on finding the smallest things possible, the ones that are truly niche to you and you alone. An example for me would be the strange purple-red color your veins take on when bright light is shining through them. I could stare at that color for ages. I'm talking really strange, personal joys. The way a sharpie brand pen clicks. How saying a word too much turns it into not-a-word. Make a list of those things.

Find a favorite texture and run your hands over it. Over and over. Obsessively. If this texture happens to be a pet, all the better! If not, that is also fine. My favorite texture is running my fingers through my hair when I've put hair gel in it. The feeling of detangling it with my fingers, all the sharp brittle hairs loosening into softness again, is the most cathartic in the world. Close second is my fingernails on very cheap construction paper, the pulpy stuff they give to kindergartners. Pass your hands through the texture until it loses its allure. Listen to the sounds it makes when you run your hands across/through it. Smell it, and smell your hands after you've touched it. Rub it on other parts of your body, like your arms or your neck. Try to pick it up with your feet.

Eat your favorite food. I don't give two shits about calories. This is comfort. If you don't have access to your favorite food, or it is too hard to cook with the energy levels you have, get the closest approximation you can find, or get your second favorite. Eat it slowly. Try to pick the tastes apart on your tongue. Make obnoxious noises while you eat, or eat it in a way you normally wouldn't. Eat ice cream with chopsticks. Eat soup with a butter knife. Lick pudding off the tines of a fork. Use your hands I don't care. Slurp out of the bowl like a dog. Pretend you're a caveman. Get stupid and silly. It's food. It's food. It's food. Enjoy every moment of it!

Tell a friend how awesome they are. Pop into their inbox and ask them about their day. Call them and ask for five minutes of their time. Invite them to dinner. You don't have to get super heartfelt if you're scared of being weird. Just say "Hey, have I told you you're awesome recently? Because you are." Be prepared to list at least one reason why.

Go cry about it. Seriously. In the words of my boss, "Sounds like you need to drink a bottle of wine, put on the saddest episode of your favorite TV show, and have a good sob fest." Crying is a releasing of built up chemicals in your brain, which is why people sometimes cry when they're happy or pissed -- you've got too many emotions inside and you need to literally put them outside. So if you're feeling the Miseries and need a quick release, give yourself a reason to cry and go for it. And I'm not talking like, tasteful wife mourning her husband lost to war with a single stoic tear down her face. Get ugly. Sob your eyes out. Scream, and wail, and thrash. Pretend you're an Irish widow who's just lost her child to famine and dirge. Lament. Do that thing in the Bible where people are so upset they tear at their clothes. When you're done, breathe, and breathe, and breathe again. That feels... Better. Doesn't it?

Listen to calming music, or sing/hum a song. This one might just be a me thing, but it is hard to be truly miserable when there's a soundtrack playing in your thoughts. This works best if the music you're listening to has no words, and is calming. We are not looking for sad mixes on YouTube. We are looking for lofi, and orchestra, and rainy mood. Something to dampen thought, not enhance it. I like putting on rain sounds and humming as I walk through my house. It lets me take action while still providing background noise I can rely on.

And that's about it, I think. I hope! My scattering of thoughts can help you! Or at least get you thinking about what works best for you. Feel free to add your own thoughts in the comments and I will try to reblog them!

Remember: we are prioritizing the safety of self here. This is to curb impulses for self harm, and self destruction, and the harming of others. Above all else, stay safe.

You've got this. I believe in you.

[the-cimmerians]

These are some thoughts and observations based on recent news; if you do not wish to engage with this or pay attention to it at this time, please do not read. This message is intended to offer insight to those who might feel in need of it.

The first thing to do is to practice self-care, and bring mindfulness to your acts of self-care: whether that is a long walk, a long shower, a longer allowance of sleep, time with loved ones, or cooking delicious food—whatever self-care looks like for you, please prioritize doing as much of that as you can for a while.

The second thing is to widen the circle, and bring attention to your loved ones: family, friends, coworkers, internet friends, children, pets—it’s a really good time to connect, listen, and offer compassion, support, and love to the other people in your life that you really care about. And if you are someone who experiences difficulty with accepting support from others, this is a great time to practice that as well.

The third thing is to widen the circle once more, and bring your attention to your community. There is a lot of work to do, and about the only thing we can say for sure about the future is that there will be a lot more: your help is needed, your help is invaluable, there is a need for education, solidarity, compassion, innovation, and determination within a community framework. Your hands and voice and will and heart can make a tremendous difference in the lives of so many, many people: but you need to do those first two steps before you can meaningfully and responsibly engage with this one.

And finally, I find it helpful to remember (and you’ll see that this connects to all three steps above) that all oppressors want those that they would oppress to feel isolated, afraid, and hopeless. So when you find yourself feeling those things, check and see if there is something you can do to move to a different emotional space, either by getting help, or through application and engagement, or through focus and deliberation (personally I tend to fall back on defiance, stubbornness, or spite—the three main qualities that helped me make it to adulthood. Hey, I mean, whatever works).

I'm here if you need me.

[sashayed]

I haven't said as much about electoral politics this year as I have in previous cycles, because I am exhausted like everyone else and have nothing new or helpful to add. That is still true, so caveat lector I guess lmao!!! Happy American Election Day Fellow Sufferers!!

I have been experiencing an internal backlash the last few years to my extremely Sorkinpilled D.C. private school upbringing -- my childhood spent as a kind of convent schoolgirl in the faith of The System Is Good If We All Participate, which of course has a uhhh let's say generously a minimal engagement with the ways in which many of us are by design shut out of participating. I don't think idealism is necessarily childish, but I think MY idealism certainly has childish qualities, an undergirding of 90s feel-goodism, of civic participation as a subtle ego stroke and of voting -- although I would never have consciously put it this way -- as a way to feel superior to people who don't vote.

Lately there has bubbled up in me a sludgy, adolescent fury at this whole stupid country that has made it very very hard to feel like I should do even the bare minimum. For these people? AMERICANS? The ones that not only want Donald Trump to be president but saw what happened the first time and were like, We love this, do it again but worse? Whatever, fuckos. "I hope you people get your dearest wish and it chews you to death slowly," I may have thought.

I have also thought: why is it so controversial to ask elected officials to stop funding a genocide? Why are we treating people who make that ask, who are watching the current administration directly fund death on a mass scale and objecting to that choice, as if they are being babies and just need to get over it? How are they supposed to get over it? Why is anybody over it?

Anyway all this means that I, a known chipper door-knocker and caller of congresspeople, have been pretty low-key this current cycle. I think that is OK. I don't want to make this a big dramatic confessional about how I didn't write enough postcards or whatever. We all get exhausted and this was my turn.

But it has also been an illuminating cycle in that it's made it clear to me how much at my big age I still want politics to make me feel good, and when they don't, I still have the urge to throw a lil tantrum about it! I can get very superior and intellectual about how right-wing operatives manipulate their voters emotionally WITHOUT EVEN NOTICING that I too have been manipulated, in my case into the feeling that nonparticipation is a kind of revolutionary act.* Just absolute "I threw it on the GROUND" logic happening inside my head. "Maybe if I don't vote I will be doing Quiet Quitting, which is uhhhhh anticapitalist." I'm not a part of your system!!!

Anyway, I am trying to have self-compassion about it, and one way for me to do that is to project my internal experience onto a theoretical reader. That would be you, my imaginary friend who clicked on this post for some reason even though you have already decided not to vote! I just want to tell you that I am more sympathetic to your point of view than I have ever been in my whole life, and I'm sorry I have historically been a glib, holier-than-thou asshole about it in ways that may actually have made you MORE resistant to civic participation.

And you're right: it doesn't make that big a difference whether I personally vote or not, or whether you do. But if there are hundreds of us, and I think there are, then each of those people individually do starts to matter.

I guess I would humbly request that you and I both pay attention to what people who need help are actually asking for. I would ask that we both notice who wins when we abdicate this single responsibility. I would remind us both that participating in the electoral process is not some kind of weird either-or with participating in decentralized community building and mutual aid, and the best people we know do both. Isn't it interesting that somehow, insidiously, without even consciously becoming aware of this belief, we have started to think that you can only do one or the other? Who is telling us that story? Who does it serve?

Anyway. I took the stupid 90 minute round trip to my polling place which was VERY hot for some reason and I stood in the stupid line and some babies waved at me and I cast my vote for Kamala Harris and I'm glad I did it in the same way I'm glad after I do the dishes or take a stupid shower. Doing work doesn't always feel like anything. I also saw a really wonderful small black and white dog that I thought was a cat on a leash. I would not have seen that dog if I hadn't gone to vote. So politics can still make you feel good!!!

*I mean all this analysis is cute and everything BUT ALSO i did switch antidepressants twice in the last year, an astonishingly grueling process that almost made me [affect the trout population]. Could these things be related? hmmmmmmm, don't understand the question, won't respond to it.

[paradoxf0x]

The thing about this is that it’s not just other people. I used to get compliments all the time on my hair before I transitioned; it was long and wavy and people loved it. But I hated it. To me, my hair was plain and ordinary and burdensome. It was always in the way, an absolute sensory nightmare, never did what I wanted, so I never styled it, never put any effort into making it look nice, besides washing it every so often. I didn’t understand why everyone loved my hair so much, but I liked that they liked it, so much so that it became part of my personality. So then when I transitioned and cut it all off, I was deeply upset, thinking no one would like my hair anymore and therefore that I had lost a piece of myself.

But after a few very very bad haircuts (as is the right of passage for every trans man) I found a hair cut I absolutely loved. I loved the way it felt, the way it looked, the way it wasn’t in my eyes all the time, the way it wasn’t touching the back of my neck, absolutely everything about my hair I loved. So I learned how to style it, how to use all kinds of different products so that I could make it do whatever I wanted, and I started putting effort into my hair. I styled it every morning, dyed it a different blue every six weeks. My hair has never looked better. And I still get compliments all the time from strangers about how much they love it. Probably more than I ever did pre transition. But it wouldn’t matter to me even if I didn’t, because for the first time in my life, I love my hair, because for the first time in my life, it’s mine.

There is something so so very absolutely, incredibly, incomprehensibly amazing about looking in the mirror and finally seeing yourself. And I hope every person gets to experience that in their lifetime at least once.

btw the biggest lie you will ever be told about being trans is that transitioning will make you ugly. that could not be further from the truth: i never got compliments on my appearance ever, but after i transitioned, began dressing like myself, wore my hair the way i wanted to, and especially started T, i have gotten more compliments than i ever have before in my life. people can tell when you look like yourself, like who you're meant to be. it's beautiful, attractive, and sexy. transition will not make you "ugly". it will make you yourself, and that's inherently beautiful

[niuniente]

Dear people over America. I woke up to this current political news which is devastating to say the least to minorities, women and the trans community on the other side of the globe. I wanted to do what little I can to help and ease your minds.

I'm a psychic. I have been doing divination (oracle readings) for 25 years. I've got a high success rate and my reviews on my store are 5/5 (you can see this for yourself). I asked the cards for clarification for all this; why is HE the president now, and how does the nearby future look for women and trans communities.

Please note that these are collective readings of the topic and might not correlate with your own personal experiences or how things are in your home state! So take only what resonates with you and ignore the rest. (If you wish to have a personal reading, that is possible; in that case, click here)

Why Trump is the president?

This result didn't surprise me because for the past 3 years I have heard many American people, who have had a near-death experience (NDE) to say that if they have gotten a view of America's future, Trump has always appeared as being elected for the 2nd time - but only for the 2nd time.

The Spirit tells me that Trump's personal lesson is to learn to see other people's points of views. That's why he chose such a position in society, where he would need to consider many different people from different backgrounds and life situations. He needs to understand how his actions affect others.

However, he is miserably failing with this personal lesson (unless something happens and he somehow completes it now in the next 4 years). Instead of going for harmony and seeing everyone's point of view, his priority is Power. With a capital P. That's what he desires, that's what he wants (MAGA movement is based on this; power back to America, America needs to be a powerful, unyielding boxer in the global ring - only a win matters).

I asked why he wishes for this Power and it's simply because of the power's sake. He loves to be in control. He loves to feel powerful. You all are asked, as much as possible, to detach from this drama he is causing because it indeed seems like he is close to a cult leader and loves to bask in this power. He loves the idea that he can command nukes and one of the most powerful countries in the world. To get this, he is ready to cause any kind of a shitstorm - after all, he has not learned to consider others, except maybe only his own family members.

This correlates with his views of an autonomic power, where he gets all the power and can be a dictator. There's no one more powerful person alive in the world than a dictator. Anyone following him is likely learning this same lesson of empathy and understanding, and failing in it. They all want to be the King of the Hill and by following someone who already is, makes them feel like they are, too. This is all drama for dramas sake because it makes them feel more powerful.

TL;DR: Trump's life lesson is to learn to respect and honor everyone despite their backgrounds and views. What a better way to do that as a president of a nation with so many nationalities and stories of people in it. But so far he has failed miserably in this lesson and has chosen blind worship of power instead. Stirring drama is his tactic to gain more power and followers. Detach from his and his followers' drama as much as you can; block, ignore, move on. His reign will eventually come to an end.

Future for Women in The US?

A toxic masculine energy wishes to control women of America and this is not related to any single individual. The rise of misogyny is real and tangible, and women are part of this "other party" the power hungry men do not want to contemplate. It's His way or No Way at all.

This will make women turn more and more away from men, which HOPEFULLY make these men see that in order to actually have a woman and a family they so much yearn to have is to love women. Not to hate them as they now do. Not to see them as assets or items or rewards of a job well done of being a man. More and more women will choose not to have kids, choose not to date or get married, and they will choose even more carefully men who are on their side, walking next to them as a unit.

In a way or another, women WILL fight and take their power back. Peace will not be an option. If this fighting can't be done visibly, it will be done in secrecy; helping other women out, warning them of bad men and risks, aiding others to better safety and to a better life. Mind you that this also covers trans women; there are trans women and trans allies in cis women who will be willing to help. Women will turn towards one another. Men who follow this old paradigm of controlling women will be met with women's bare teeth but other women will be met with peace. I don't see anything particularly related to women who follow misogyny but I imagine with this much mental energy here, women will not abandon them but educate them. It is possible some of these women, who support this kind of regime, will later change their minds when they see how it negatively affects them, their parents, sisters, aunts, friends, cousins, coworkers etc. Some women will die in order to wake others up.

Women will turn their nurturing energies - the one this regime wants to turn towards men and babies - towards themselves. Artistic expression and expressing their feelings through any form of art will be significant. Pay attention to what kind of art women do now - it's going to be directly reflected in what's going on now. Women seem to also be looking more after their bodies, keeping themselves safe. This low level energy of control and forcing women is echoes of the past and women of America, collectively and mainly, wish not to partake in it any longer.

When it comes to men, these men who have thought that Trump will deliver them a woman to look after them and have their babies will see that it's not the case. And, if it is, the marriage is not happy and many women will fight like a trapped wild cat, scratching the eyes out of any of the people who want to trap them. This will be genuinely boggling to them and might make them angrier but their lessons are to understand what human rights are and what it means to respect others as your equal.

TL;DR: Women will turn away from misogyny and forced motherhood more and more, turning their attention and care towards themselves and other women (trans included) and leaving misogyny men angry because they have not learned to love women (not your job to teach them this, sisters!). Artistic expressions in all forms among women will be very high as it will be a way to express and deal with these current energies. Women will be even more pickier with the men they date and get married with, or even interact overall with - as they should. Anyone who wants to rip you off from your human rights is not your ally or a good partner. This will not be a shocker to anyone else but the men who believe in misogyny, as they will not get wives or girlfriends any easier - it only gets harder.

Future for Trans People in the US?

Trans people in the USA (not every state, mind you) need to "erase" their existence. Like I saw someone saying here; if you know a trans person in the USA now, no, you don't. True identities will be hidden for the safety's sake and people will flock more into underground, smaller communities. Those communities will continue to exist and support one another. This is not a total erasure but it's erasure in a way that it is better to choose carefully who really knows your true identity and who are the people to whom you are performing the identity of your physical body. So trans men will pretend to continue to be women on the outside, trans women will pretend to continue to be men on the outside but in their own safe spaces and supportive communities, they can be who they truly are.

Now, trans communities and rights will not be erased. There can be a momentary setback and time when trans people have to carefully hide their identities for their own sake but it will not be permanent. Trans people, like women's collective, WILL FIGHT. Trans people will NOT allow themselves and their fellow trans people to be erased. The time when "transpeople didn't exist because this is woke idealism", as red-wing misogyny says, WILL NOT return. People who wish for these times to come back have fallen from the evolution of humanity. Trans people will not stop existing. They will fight for their rights till the end of the world. Liberation seems to be near and this looks, in America, to be the final dark hour before the new dawn. Hang in there!

The Spirit and the cards promise that trans people will get their freedom. There's no returning back to the time when their existence was forbidden. There's a flow of prosperity and lots of freedom in the future cards so any trans person there reading this - DO NOT GIVE UP. This is temporary. This will pass. You need to play with these nasty rules for a little while but it will pass.

There's a promise of balance in work and home life, so acceptance of trans people both in private areas of their life (home, friends, communities, online blogs etc.) as well as in public (school, work, society, hospitals, other people). That kind of a future is coming, also as we move more into the Era of Aquarius, which supports human rights, different gender and sexual identities without judgment, liberation of gender and sexuality and thus the human expression itself.

TL;DR: Trans people need to lay low for now and hide their true identities for their own safety. If you know a trans person, no, you do not. They will find the support they need in their own communities but trans people will not be erased. Trans people WILL fight and there is going to be a time in the future when they can openly (once again) be who they truly are, both at home and outside home. Flow of prosperity and freedom is in the cards as a promise of the future and these energies are massive. This is only the old paradigm's final efforts to stay alive as it croaks and is forgotten. American humanity will evolve to respect trans people's human rights, too.

EVERYONE SCARED IN THE USA, KEEP GOING! This is only a temporary moment of night.

[would-you-punt-them]

It looks bad now. The results aren't definitive yet and won't be for a few days. But ngl, it ain't looking good chief.

They're... making it sound fairly definitive.

Honestly, it feels so surreal watching things like this happen as a non-American.

Like, I unironically think one of the most formative moments of my entire life was when you guys started sharing personal experiences from the American educational system.

Because of the difference in time zones, there naturally came a point where I had to go to sleep, while the Americans on this blog were still awake and still sending me asks describing their unique childhood experience from US school.

And when I woke up the next morning, I was greeted with this:

So, what this means is that of the miniscule group of people who, during those specific ten hours, happened to visit a random Tumblr gimmick blog that had only existed for four months, there were still, at minimum, over a hundred separate people who had some kind of traumatic experience simply as a result of growing up in the USA.

What am I meant to do with that

[luminalunii97]

tw: suic*de, harassment

An iranian highschool student took her own life after receiving relentless harassment by the school staff over hijab dress code. School system in Iran is as awful as you can imagine. the harassment, the belittlings, the use of misogynistic language to keep girls in line, and the physical and verbal abuse. The principal and management staff in iranian schools are normally students' first bullies.

Things I've personally experienced at school, first hand (happened to me) or second hand (happened to my friends), are: getting slapped (x2), getting your hair pulled violently, getting your uniform ripped, getting suspended for three days because you dared to wear makeup/pluck your eyebrows/dye your hair, getting permanently expelled because you brought a cellphone to school (electronic devices are forbidden at school), getting called a wh*re by school principal because they found a love note from your boyfriend in your bag (the school has the right to check students belongings including looking into their bags and doing body checks to see if they have illegal things on them), and using fear inducing tactics to threaten you into following their backward rules (for example in my highschool they used to force us into watching "educational" videos about girls who got r*ped because they didn't have hijab and talked to boys, or video simulations of what hell looks like for women who don't wear hijab. In both instances, some of my classmates got so sick that they spent the rest of the hours crying, and one of my best friends literally threw up)

These are pretty common experiences for many iranian girls at school. Needless to say, many iranian teen girls hate school, have very low self esteem and a lot of mental health issues. Society is already pretty unsafe and hateful towards woman, school as an extention of the regime is the cherry on cake for us.

Of course the school experience is different from person to person based on the city/region/environment, but the difference is in the degree of how bad it was.

[Tweet made by Iranian journalist and human rights activist, Masih Alinejad, Nov 5, 2024:

Forced Hijab Claims Another Life: 16-Year-Old Arezoo Khavari Takes Her Life After School Harassment Over Dress Code Violations💔

A 16-year-old schoolgirl named #ArezooKhavari tragically took her own life by jumping from a building after being sent back from a school trip for violating the dress code by wearing jeans instead of the prescribed uniform.

Her grieving father revealed that this was not an isolated incident; Arezoo had faced repeated harassment from the school for her attire and her non-compliance with the mandatory hijab policy. Last year school almost refused to enroll her.

Following her death, her father lodged a formal complaint against the school authorities, accusing them of negligence and insensitivity, especially for their failure to offer any condolences or follow up after the incident.

A reliable source told me, that she was threatened with expulsion after the school’s vice principal handed over a video of her dancing without hijab to the principal for disciplinary action.

This case echoes a broader issue in Iran where in 2023, nearly 1,000 schoolgirls were victims of poisoning attacks, believed to be linked to the enforcement of discriminatory hijab laws in gender-segregated schools.

The responsibility for Arezoo’s death falls squarely on the shoulders of the Islamic Regime in Iran. /End of tweet]

#woman life freedom

[glass--beach]

i feel like i’ve been openly trans long enough to deal with so many people trying to tell me what’s wrong with my head & attempt to transplant some neurosis in there and it’s so easy to just be like. no, that’s not me. that’s actually not how i think at all and i don’t worry about the things you think i do. i’m not “trying to be” anyone or anything, i just am.

& then i start to recognize this pattern happening over and over again with not just other trans people but systems & therians et al & it becomes so obvious that it’s all just about trying to fit everyone into an experience/being-in-the-world that just does not line up with the actual multiplicity of experiences that people can attest to. it’s as arbitrary as the gender binary or cissexism or any arguments about heterosexuality being “natural” or whatever, & it’s enforced the same way - through pathologization, through positioning differences in experience of self as being deformations of some platonic ideal individual human self: a concept of self that goes back to liberal enlightenment thought & then further back to the christian idea of the human soul, socially constructed, and therefore, while in a sense “real”, entirely possible to change to account for those hurt by it. it’s all an attempt to reconcile variation by forcing it into strict boundaries, by making all variations subservient to a particular one given higher status in our culture, same as conversion therapy, same as coercive surgeries on intersex people, same as “gender identity disorder”, etc etc, it’s creating a problem where there is none, treating an “illness” that is social/political & not medical.

that’s why i’m here for any alternate conceptions of self - i just trust people to know who they are more than anyone else does, & it’s clear that calling these people crazy does absolutely no good for anybody. what harm is there in letting someone be multiple people or an animal or whatever, if that genuinely can make them feel more connected to themself, their community, and the world at large? there is so much more potential for what people can become and therefore what people can do when we stop projecting the exact same internal life & experience onto everybody

[bellanothadidloa]

As I initially stated in my success story, I don't plan on being very active here because I've spent too much time on social media. However, I want to answer some common questions to help you guys achieve your dreams before winter or to provide some motivation.

Do you have new method you recommend

Yes, I found this on a blogger's page. I've been experimenting for fun with different techniques. One method involves using theta waves and counting from 100 to 300 until you feel drowsy, then affirming for the void.

Alternatively, you can use the five senses method that shifters often use, which I find works the best!

And, lucid dreaming is an incredible experience. To enhance your dreams, try spraying magnesium oil on your feet. This will lead to some of the most vivid dreams of your life.

Also, research neuroplasticity—it's a fact that with enough repetition, affirmations can rewire your brain. Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life.

Are you into shifting and other explorations

Yes, at first, I manifested shifting abilities just for fun, but I didn't have anywhere I particularly wanted to go because I was so content with my life—and I still am. I love my life! However, anytime you're curious about something, bored, or want to see how a different decision would turn out, you can just shift. It's amazing to feel this limitless, and I wish this experience for everyone!

I've also tried astral projection, but it doesn't do much for me since I can just shift anywhere I want or even travel there if I want to see something in person. It's all quite fascinating!

What is your life like now

I live in Monaco, but I'm considering international schools like Le Rosey or Phillip Phillips Exeter in Massachusetts. I've manifested that when I graduate in 2025, I'll get into an American Ivy League school.

I have an amazing social life, travel often, and attend prestigious events I could only dream of (I follow the billionaires calendar) I experience pretty privilege, and I have a good dating life and don't relate to the "I hate men" sentiment. I mean, the ones on social media can be gross, but they don't meet or see me in real life.which is insane. I get good grades easily and am generally loved and admired by everyone. It's so weird going from being ignored to being loved by everyone. My home life is great; my parents are the best people, and my siblings and I get along well. My home is the hangout spot for my friends which is fun, and I still cater to myself. I listen to subliminals and do journaling, which genuinely makes me happy. I'm open about my spirituality on my social media page, hehe! I've also become a Pilates enthusiast, even though I don't need to work out. I enjoy participating in rich hobbies like Pilates, golf, horseback riding, tennis, skiing, and, of course, traveling!

All in all, my life is amazing, and every day I'm kind of scared I'll wake up from this spell. It's crazy that this is just my permanent life!

Comment more questions I have a layover which nothing to do and I’ll add more to the post as I see them :)

[mbruben-stein]

MHA boys reaction to finding out after the final war that their s/o became wheelchair bound and became a teacher after the war ended.

~Izuku Midoriya~

When Izuku first learns that his s/o was badly injured in the war and can no longer walk, he would be absolutely devastated. Seeing the person he loves in so much pain, and knowing they sacrificed their mobility fighting alongside him, would tear him apart with grief and guilt. He'd likely break down crying and apologizing profusely for not protecting them.

But once the initial shock passes, Izuku's compassionate and supportive nature would quickly take over. He would do everything in his power to be there for his s/o during their recovery and adaptation to life in a wheelchair. Izuku would constantly encourage them, telling them how incredible and heroic they are for all they've done. He'd be endlessly patient, helping them with daily tasks and pushing their wheelchair without complaint.

At the same time, Izuku would make sure not to coddle or pity his s/o. He knows how strong and capable they are. So while he offers help, he'd also give them space to figure things out and maintain their independence as much as possible. Izuku would cheer on every milestone as they learn to navigate the world in new ways.

I imagine Izuku being so proud when his s/o takes a job teaching at UA. Using their skills and experience to help train the next generation of heroes is an amazing way for them to continue making a difference, wheelchair or no wheelchair. Izuku would brag about them to everyone. On tough days, he'd remind them what an inspiration they are to their students.

Overall, this tragedy would only make Izuku love and admire his s/o more. He'd stand by their side unconditionally, being the steadfast pillar of support they can always count on. They would grow even closer through this challenge. To Izuku, his s/o will always be his hero, no matter what.

~Katsuki Bakugo~

Initially, Bakugo is filled with rage and guilt. He's furious at the villains who hurt his s/o so badly, and furious at himself for not being able to protect them. He may lash out or seem angry at first, but it's masking his devastation and self-blame.

Once the initial shock and anger fades, Bakugo becomes fiercely protective and supportive of his s/o. He's determined to be there for them no matter what as they adjust to their new circumstances. He helps them with physical therapy, getting their home accessibility upgraded, and anything else they need without complaint.

Bakugo is secretly very proud that his s/o has taken on a teaching role at UA to help train the next generation of heroes. He knows they have a wealth of experience and wisdom to share. But he grumbles that the "damn kids better not give you any trouble or they'll have to answer to me."

When his s/o has hard days and gets frustrated with their physical limitations, Bakugo is quick to remind them that they're still every bit the incredible hero and person they've always been. "You think a little thing like a wheelchair makes you any less amazing? Don't be a damn idiot."

Bakugo makes it clear to everyone that NOTHING about his love and respect for his partner has changed. He shuts down any pitying looks or comments immediately. His s/o is still the badass he fell in love with and he won't let anyone imply otherwise.

On the anniversary of the day his s/o was injured, Bakugo is always extra attentive, planning special things to show how glad he is to still have them by his side. He knows things could have turned out much worse and he'll never take their presence for granted.

Overall, in the end, he loves them for who they are no matter what.

~Shoto Todoroki~

When Shoto first learns what happened to his partner, he feels a mix of deep concern, sadness, and anger that they were so badly injured. Even years later, remembering the moment he found out still brings back those painful emotions. He wishes more than anything he could have protected them.

At the same time, Shoto is incredibly proud of his S/O's bravery, sacrifice and strength. They put their life on the line as a hero, just like he did. And now they are channeling that same heroic spirit into inspiring and guiding the next generation at UA. Shoto has endless respect and admiration for them.

Shoto makes sure to be there to physically and emotionally support his partner as much as possible, especially early on as they adjust to using a wheelchair. He helps make their home fully accessible. If his S/O is self-conscious about the wheelchair, Shoto reassures them that it doesn't change how he feels at all - he loves them unconditionally and their chair is a symbol of their courage.

When he visits them at work, Shoto loves seeing his S/O in their element - skillfully navigating the school grounds and classrooms, captivating the students with their hard-earned wisdom and experience. The students look up to them immensely. Shoto teases that they're everyone's favorite teacher.

In private moments, Shoto makes sure his partner knows how much he cherishes them. The war took a heavy toll on them both physically and mentally. But supporting each other and building a life together has brought hope and light back after so much darkness.

Overall, his S/O inspires Shoto to be a better hero and person every day.

[ajmakoko]

It's also speaking to a different experience, though, and I wish we emphasized this generational difference.

In the 70s, advertising was more streamlined and you had these movements that worked with movies to create teenage life for teens to follow. This is when you see the nerds vs cool kids tropes starting to happen. This is when we start seeing fashion become fast fashion and trends being tied to capitalism in a way they weren't before.

This continues all the way to the early 2000s, when TV was still being released on a schedule and we all would go amd watch it together and discuss each episode and theories the next day. We were unified in our propaganda consumption. We listened to the radio. Sure, I had friends who had bands and indie CDs, but we all listened to the top 100. It was literally inescapable, unless ypu wanted to listen to the Top 100 of the 90s, 70s, or 80s. Consequently, most of us from those time periods know those songs. And YouTube in those days was just a baby. Tori Kelly and Taylor Swift were both on there, but their music wasn't like final production quality. Now many independent artists can produce perfectly acceptable quality music and songs on their own.

Kids today don't watch streamlined propaganda so much, particularly commercials (they'd never understand JG WENTWORTH). In some ways, I'm a little jealous, as it means their learning can be customized to their own interests more easily and they never had to suffer through years of bands like Foreigner. They tend to just watch whatever is in their circle of advertising and internet.

It's kinda funny because I have a game I play with some gen Zs and gen alphas where they will start playing a song they just discovered to see if I know it well enough to sing it. Most recently it was "In the Summertime" by Mungo Jerry, which it's a little obvious why that song was probably hidden from them by adults, but ofc I knew it. But often they show me music and bands that I've never heard of, and it's really awesome for me too.

It just shows ypu have to trust kids and not assume they are stupid. They just grow up differently than us. Let's be curious, it's a virtue.

saw a grown woman on tiktok snidely calling gen z the christopher columbus generation bc someone’s fifteen year old son ‘thought he’d discovered weezer’. newsflash every generation finds out about the music of the previous generation at some point it comes free with being fifteen. being annoying about music also comes free with being fifteen. a kid saying yeah i’ve just found this band nirvana have you ever heard of them should be a thing of joy

[fratttymatty]

Greeked

(All characters are 18+)

Matty never thought college would be this much of a shock. Sure, he was excited for the experience, but he wasn’t really prepared for how much things would change—and how fast.

He was 18 now, heading into his freshman year with a sense of nervous optimism. Matty had spent the last year of high school pining after his crush, Kayla—now, Kayla was his girlfriend, and for the first time in his life, he felt like he wasn’t invisible. He was excited for college, but one thing was certain: no matter how crazy college life might get, he was happy to be with Kayla—er, Cassie, now.

That was the first thing that had changed.

They had arrived at college together, a little overwhelmed but ready to face the unknown. Cassie, though—she had already changed. Matty was still trying to make sense of it.

“I’m telling you, Matty,” Cassie said one afternoon, walking hand in hand across the campus. “I so need to join a sorority. I’m like, totally vibing with the idea of Delta Theta Phi. They have, like, the best parties and stuff.”

Matty smiled, squeezing her hand. He’d known Cassie—Kayla—since high school. She’d always been fun and confident, but not quite like this. There was something a little… more bubbly about her now. More... valley girl.

“I don’t know,” Matty said, shaking his head. “You weren’t really into that stuff in high school, though. Is this, like… really you?”

Cassie stopped, looking at him with a confused expression. “What do you mean, babe? Of course it’s me. I just… I don’t know, I feel like college is all about being your best self, you know? I’ve been thinking about, like, how much fun it would be to totally fit in. I just know I’d be amazing at it!”

Matty blinked. “Uh… okay, if you say so. But you don’t need to change, Cassie. I love you just the way you are.”

She smiled and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “I know, babe. But this is just, like, the next level. You’ll see.”

They kept walking, but there was a nagging feeling in the back of Matty’s mind. Cassie? She was still the girl he loved, right? Then why did she feel… different? She wasn’t the quiet, introspective girl he knew. This new version of her was louder, bouncier, more caught up in appearances and parties.

Then it happened. The air around them shifted, and a strange swirl of energy seemed to surround them. Matty didn’t know what to make of it—he couldn’t see anything, but he felt it deep inside, like the world had just tilted slightly. Then, a voice that wasn’t quite there but somehow echoed in both their heads spoke:

“You’ve been chosen. The power of college life will transform you. No turning back. Embrace your new path.”

The wind rushed through the campus in an eerie hush, and for a moment, everything stood still. Matty glanced at Cassie. Her wide-eyed look mirrored his own confusion, but the magic was already working its way into their souls.

The Next Day

When Matty woke up the next morning, everything felt… off. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw the changes before he even registered them. His body was leaner, more muscular. His posture had shifted—he now stood tall and wide-shouldered, his physique looking like he'd spent months in the gym (which he hadn’t).

But the most noticeable change? His hair.

Matty had always been self-conscious about his hair. It was unruly—curly and thick, and no matter how hard he tried, it always seemed to fall into a messy, unpredictable state. He’d never been able to tame it the way the popular guys did. His hair was more of a hassle than a feature he could flaunt.

But now? As he stood in front of the mirror, Matty ran a hand through his hair—and stopped dead in his tracks.

It was perfect.

Matty blinked, rubbing his eyes in disbelief. His hair had changed, almost overnight.

Where it had once been a tangled mess of light brown curls, it now fell in perfectly tousled waves that seemed to defy gravity. His once wild curls were gone, replaced by a smooth, more controlled texture that still had some natural volume, but now it was effortlessly styled in a way that looked like he’d just walked out of a barber’s chair after a professional cut. It wasn’t too neat, but it wasn’t messy either. It looked intentional. Like he’d woken up with this style and hadn’t even needed to run a comb through it.

His hair was now darker, too. Instead of the lighter brown he’d been born with, it was now a rich, deep dark brown. It was almost close to black in some lights, but it still held a slight undertone of warmth. The colour gave him a more mature, striking appearance—one that was instantly more eye-catching than the old, plain, lighter brown he used to have. The transformation wasn’t just in the texture; it was in the depth of the colour itself.

The change was so profound that Matty didn’t even know how to process it at first. He reached up to run his fingers through his new hair again. It felt thicker, softer somehow, with the faintest scent of something like gel or pomade, as if it had been styled professionally while he slept. It gave him the type of effortless, “I woke up like this” look that guys on Instagram or in magazines seemed to always pull off.

The more he ran his fingers through it, the more he noticed that the strands of hair fell naturally into place. It was no longer an unmanageable mop—it was sleek, smooth, and just the right amount of tousled. His hair now seemed to fit his transformation into this new version of himself—Matt, the frat guy, the confident guy who got noticed.

Before, his hair had always been a problem. He’d try to comb it into place in the mornings, but it would quickly fall back into its usual, messy shape. It was always too long in some spots and too short in others. He’d hated how it would sometimes fall in his face or puff up in ways that made him feel awkward.

Now, it was different. His hair had a natural flow to it. The kind of look that made him look effortlessly cool. The messy wave that fell just above his eyebrows gave him a brooding, “bad boy” charm. It made him look more confident—more put together—and it fit his new persona perfectly.

Matty grabbed his phone to check his reflection in the front-facing camera. He gave himself a once-over, taking in his broader shoulders, his new body, and the sharp jawline that had appeared seemingly overnight. But it was his hair that caught his attention again.

“Damn,” he muttered under his breath. “This is… way different.”

He ran his hand through it one more time, letting the waves fall back into place with minimal effort, and then he smiled. It felt right. His hair was a big part of the new Matt he was becoming—someone who didn’t have to work hard to look good. It was almost as if the universe had decided that everything about him needed to be sharper, more polished, more… frat.

His reflection stared back at him. Matt, with the perfect dark brown hair. Matt, with the confident, almost cocky smile that now played at the corners of his lips. The guy in the mirror was a stranger, yet familiar, someone who was meant for this life.

And as he admired his new look, he couldn't help but wonder just how deep this transformation would go. His hair was only the beginning, after all.

“Dude,” he muttered, staring at the reflection. "What the hell?”

And then it hit him—Matt. His reflection had changed. His whole demeanour was different. His voice felt deeper, and when he spoke, it sounded… natural. Like someone had flicked a switch, and now he was the ultimate frat boy without even trying. He flexed his arm in front of the mirror, still not fully understanding what was going on.

But something else was different, too. He looked at the clothes in his wardrobe—a brand-new set of tight, fitted T-shirts and well-worn jeans that made him look like he belonged in a college party. Gone was the awkward Matty, the kid who played it safe. In his place stood someone who could walk into a room and own it. Matt was the guy everyone wanted to be. He felt confident. Cocky, even.

He texted Cassie, hoping she was okay with all of this.

“Hey, you good? Something weird happened last night…”

Her reply came seconds later.

“Oh my god, babe! I feel amazing! You won’t believe it. I totally joined Delta Theta Phi, and they’re, like, so into me already! It’s going to be, like, the best thing ever!”

Matty stared at the text, his stomach twisting slightly. Something was off. Cassie—Cassie—was now using words like "totes" and "like" in every sentence. The bubbly, confident girl he once knew was changing right before his eyes, and part of him was unsettled by it. But the other part of him—Matt—found himself excited. This was the life he was supposed to be living. The frat parties, the competitions, the workouts. He couldn’t deny it: it felt good. Maybe, just maybe, this was who he was meant to be.

The Frat Life

Later that day, Matt was dragged into the fraternity house by a group of upperclassmen who had somehow decided he was frat material. They forced him to attend a party, where they pumped him full of beer, made him play beer pong, and introduced him to a whole new world of “bro” behaviour.

“You’re gonna crush it, bro,” Brock, the frat president, said as he threw an arm around Matt’s shoulders. “You’re one of us now. Party hard, hit the gym, and get with the ladies. That’s the frat way.”

“Yeah, dude,” Matt replied, nodding with a grin. “For sure. I’m, like, all in.”

The party raged on around him. It was loud. It was chaotic. But Matt had never felt more at home. The guys were laughing, the music was pounding, and everything about it felt right. He had no interest in the quiet, introspective kid he once was. This new life was everything he ever wanted. The muscles, the confidence, the parties—it was all here.

Cassie & The Sorority

At the same time, Cassie had fully embraced her new role in Delta Theta Phi. She walked around with her new sisters, a radiant smile on her face as they gossiped about their crushes and the upcoming sorority events. She had become, without a doubt, the epitome of a sorority girl. She was bubbly, she was popular, and she was constantly surrounded by attention.

But something about it never felt wrong. Cassie loved Matt. They were still dating, and no one could change that. Even though she was now a full-on "valley girl"—talking about boys, parties, and perfecting her “look”—her feelings for Matt hadn't wavered. In fact, if anything, she felt more connected to him than ever. She couldn’t wait to see him after every party, to tell him about her day, to laugh together over the silliest things.

She wasn't cheating, not at all. It was just that college life had changed them both, had made them more into the people they seemed to be destined to be. But even through all the transformations, her feelings for Matt never wavered.

A Relationship that Stays Strong

As the semester went on, Matt and Cassie (who had become an official part of the Greek system) lived in their new worlds. They attended parties, worked out together, and talked about their plans for the future. Despite their transformations, their love for each other was still the anchor that kept them grounded.

Cassie was happy with her sorority, yes. But she never let it interfere with her relationship. Matt was the same. The bro culture didn’t change how he felt about her. They made time for each other. They texted. They hung out. They still made each other laugh. Their personalities had changed, sure—but their connection hadn’t.

And while both of them had slipped into their new roles as frat bro and sorority girl, they hadn’t forgotten each other. They were still in love, still dating, still choosing each other every day.

For the first time, they both realized: sometimes you don’t need to be who you were in high school to find happiness. Maybe who they were now—Matt and Cassie—was who they were always meant to be.

(Matty on the left and Brock on the right, Cassie on the right and her sorority sister on the left)

[certifiedsexed]

I'm not sure where else to ask this but it seemed like an alright place. I believe something is wrong with me as I don't want to have sex. Or do anything even remotely sexual. I see posts and comments all the time of people talking about people and sometimes characters and how attractive and hot they are, but I just don't get it. I want to fall in love, and date and do all those romantic things. But I do not want to have sex, ever, and I feel like maybe I'm broken? Sex is always talked about around me as something everyone wants and will do one day, but it simply makes me feel sick and grossed out. Even the idea of masturbating grosses me out, it's sexual and I don't seem to like anything sexual at all. Although I live in a very small town, is it different in other places?

I've tried reading and watching, I've even watched stuff with just women in it! I tried masturbating but didn't get very far before feeling nauseous, I simply don't want to do anything sexual. It's very confusing and scary for me, I mentioned it to my mother and she said "You'll want it eventually, you just need to find what you like" but I never have and don't think I ever will. I've explored many different things but I always feel bored and put off at best, disgusted at worse. I don't care if others have sex, I'm not negative like that, I just don't want to ever be involved in it. Do you know what might be wrong with me? I don't want to bring it up to anyone again because they always look at me like something is wrong with me

- Rose

Hi, Rose! This is definitely a fine place to ask. (I love your name, btw.)

Let me start with saying there is absolutely nothing wrong with you for not wanting to have sex or do anything sexual. You don't have to have sex or be sexually attracted to other people. There's a name for that: it's called asexuality and its actually pretty common.

Not everyone has sex or "eventually wants sex". That's a very out-dated myth that has never been true.

I'd recommend looking for groups or even just researching asexuality online, Rose. There are so many other asexual people throughout the world and I think it'd be good for you to read/look into information on other people like you!

You don't have to force yourself to like sexual things. You can't force your sexuality to change. Especially if it's making you feel ill and you don't want to do it, that's not something you should be forcing yourself into just because others have told you that you should. There is no should with your sexuality.

Your mother is actually wrong. Not everyone likes sex! There's literally a sexuality for people who lack or experience varied sexual attraction [which is what you're talking about]: asexuality. There's also a word for the nausea and dislike you're talking about surrounding sexual things: sex repulsion.

You don't have to keep exploring things that make you feel ill. It's okay just to search out the things you actually enjoy or look forward to, like a romantic partner or even just focus less on sexuality itself and enjoy your life without trying to fix yourself.

There's nothing wrong with you, Rose. I'm sorry no one has been kind and taken you seriously but you're not broken or needing to wait for your sexuality to "kick in", your sexuality is fine as is.

I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions, Rose. <33

[what-even-is-thiss]

I think my German listening skills might be on par with my Spanish ones at this point but for some reason listening to stuff in German just feels more comfortable and gives me less of a headache.

I think it might be because I’ve spent more of my life learning German even if I wasn’t technically doing it efficiently. And some members of my family speak sone German. I think German sounds like a relative’s house while Spanish sounds like a friend’s house. Yeah I’m familiar with both places and might know them equally well but German was there when I was experimenting really badly with different kinds of nail polish in middle school. Spanish never saw that bit. Spanish drove me home from the party when I was drunk in college but it didn’t see my uggs and capri pants years.

[great-now-im-confused]

Look shit is going to get bad. It's always going to get bad. But with that it means it'll get better too. What's good and bad is different for everyone. Many things that are bad for you know might stay that way. But many of them will also progress and change and actually get better. Beyond that thought, if you stay and you fight, you will get better. Maybe it is your family that'll always be crazy, maybe the political world will be beyond bleak for the foreseeable future, but if you stay you'll be able to see the things that will improve and will be good. I know so many of us have so much on our plates right now and the results of yesterday and dreadful. But please stay. I promise it'll be worth it.

Sure everything you hope for might not happen but you'll never get to know the things that WILL if you stay. I know the point of this post is mostly to address the dread many of us feel after the election. And I fully get it trust me I do. But as someone who has made that choice before and I am so grateful it didn't work for me to be able to still be here I want to share a few things.

"it gets better" is both right and wrong in my opinion. Yes sometimes the things that have you down so bad that you walk that path can absolutely get better. Sometimes they don't though and while that sucks it's okay. Because as I said before, YOU get better. (Not to run into "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" stuff because I get it, why do we have to be strong) You grow, you learn, you change. And with that growth and change your state of mind often changes too. Admittedly my life isn't too different from when I reached that point, but it's also so much better in so many ways. I'll use my family for an example. My family is so chaotic it's overwhelming and that hasn't changed, what has changed though is my ability to cope with it. I am still the one everyone runs to to fix problems. I still try to fix those problems more than I probably should, but I have started to learn to say no and to put up boundaries with them. So while yes it hasn't changed for the most part the growth I've had within myself has allowed me some space from all the chaos and it's truly helped me.

Then there's things like medication and therapy that's has helped immensely along the way. And I fully understand that not everyone has the same access to things I have been lucky enough to have along the way as the journey is different for everyone. And especially given the outcome of yesterday those things may become even harder to obtain for others. But I will say I also thought a lot of those things were out of my reach and I started asking the right questions and made it a little father (again this won't be true for everyone but hopefully will be able to at least a few)

I reached a standstill with progressing in my career because I didn't know what to do next. One day I got super lucky and met a new person who gave me so much guidance (more than I think they know) and it reignited my passion for my goals (again I know I am super lucky to find myself in that situation). My point with that is we have to be able to reach each other because you never know who you can help (with something that may be simple to you) and who can help you. You don't get to experience that if you're gone.

I'm not trying to get into my whole story or journey but I'm trying to share enough that it makes sense and is understood when I say I know what it feels like to be that low and I know what it feels like to overcome it. So please trust me on that.

I know things are scary right now. So much is uncertain and on the line. But you won't fix it by overly stressing about it and you won't fix anything is you don't stay. Times are going to get challenging and it's going to get hard and rough, but we will always be able to do something about it, especially together. So I can't help you if I leave and you can't help me if you go.

So take some time to process you frustration, your grief, and your fears. Then when you're ready take a deep breath and be prepared. Be prepared to take action. Figure out what is most important to you that you fear will change with the coming times. It could be your number 1 thing it could be a top 3-10 depending on what you have the energy for. And. Then start to learn. What can you do to help, what can you do to make a change, how can you make a difference. Then make a plan. When we all taken action things will start to be okay again.

But we can't inform each other if we're not here. We can't help if we're not here. Like OP said times have been bad before throughout history and humans have survived and we'll survive this. If you need a reminder and it won't mess you up too much look into the things people have preserved through (try not to focus too much on those tragically lost to those times because that won't help in this situation)

I know this is long and has gone all over the place but I needed to get this out because it's just part of everything swirling in my mind lately. So, sorry is it's a little hard to understand my points, if you'd like to reach out to discuss any of it with me if gladly try to be more clear on some of it I just was trying to not fully take over OP's post with my response (which I know I more than likely have by now, SORRY OP) this post just resonated with me and everything started flowing. So please just stay even if it means me typing all of this out was worth it and because you are worth it and we will work together to make it better

I hope none of you disappear in the coming days. Seriously don't do anything that can't be undone.