#it's technically a day late but i finished it at like 12:05 am and didn't have the energy to post it to tumblr then & there

[stormbreaker101]

Wiztober Day 19: For Better or Worse - What should have been a simple recon mission and fetch quest quickly spiraled out of control, for better and worse.

This fic was made in collaboration with @klaraflamez! It takes place in her Wizard101 postcanon/rewrite, the Cleaved AU. Things aren't quite as they seem in this Spiral...

Content warnings: multiple instances of swear words (so it's not PG-13), and both canon-typical and canon-atypical violence.

If you want to read the fic with font variation for flavor (and maybe a secret or two in between the lines :3), here's the fic in its original format.

Word Count: 7866

It was supposed to be a pretty simple quest. Sneak into a heavily secured Schismist fort in the middle of the day, take the blueprints for an incredibly dangerous machine they’ve got, and hightail it out of there. No harm, no foul, no need to use that license to kill they gave him.

Unfortunately for Flare Rouge and Jane Doe, the young Wizard that (for better and worse) the Arcanum assigned to him to watch over, the fort was in a world that nobody had a key for. The elusive and fascinating Novus, a world said to only be about 25 years old, a world that didn’t exist in Flare’s original spiral! What a joy would that be to see! 

Alas, getting there was another story.

And it still is another story. Sorry Flare, I know you and Jane probably have a ton of good memories you want written out, spending so long adventuring. But there’s a lot to get through.

Moo Bu was fantastic company on the long trip from the Jade Palace to Catmandu, over which hung one of Novus’s shards. He had a thousand stories to pass the time, open ears for Jane and Flare to share their stories with as well, and many a wisdom to dispense. Moo dispensed his final wisdom as their journey split (him up the scarlet Stone of Heaven, and them to Conatus, where the fort stood): “Be careful dealing with the people in charge there. The governors are egoists first, leaders a distant second. And your… Arcanum also sound like bigshots. Do not let them use you.”

Flare nodded slowly. “Thanks, but we’ve got this.” He didn’t like the implication that Moo was hinting at, but there wasn’t time to argue. Jane was already rushing to the pale blue leyline gate. “JANE! WAIT UP!”

“WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO WAIT!” Jane shouted back. Then to Moo Bu she hollered, “BYE! THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!” before disappearing through the gate.

Flare rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hold back a laugh. Ms Whisperwind had warned Flare that Jane was flighty as a pup and needed overseeing. Jane’s impulse and determination were why Flare enjoyed questing with her. Sure, she was his responsibility and 10 years his junior, but she was also a friend. They both ran at a million miles an hour and often ran together, an unstoppable duo of Sorcerers! He hurried after her, zipping through the leyline gate.

~

Conatus sprawled out in front of Flare and Jane, a sight unlike anything the two had seen before. Stone cliffs wide, smoothed, curved, and jutting out like way too many fingers on a pair of palms. Soft white loamy sands down below. A massive indigo waterfall from what almost looked like an eye, tumbling into a massive waving lake. Many tents, gardens, markets, and camps for the other five nations that Novus’s shards hung over. Karamelle, Marleybone, Polaris, Monquista, and Valencia. 

Notably, there was no Schismist fort to be seen, but that only made sense. Why would a secretive cult have a major base of operations where everyone could see? It’s a good thing the Arcanum provided Flare and Jane with some particularly convenient maps: of Conatus, and of the base’s interiors, including the location of the Schismists’ lab, where the dastardly plans lay.

Jane opened the map of Conatus up, and Flare peeked over her shoulder. “There’s no way we can go through the main entrance,” she said, pointing at the entrance marked on the map. “Even with the Arcanum promising to keep the Schismists’ attention, we’d be spotted super easy by whoever stayed behind. Is there some side entrance we can go through?”

“Yep, they’ve got that animal sanctuary,” Flare said. He took out the other map and laid it out on the floor. “Thing is, that’s pretty darn far away from the lab. We might get caught the longer we stay and move around.”

“C’mon, we can do it! I’ve got experience sneaking about back when I was a pirate. And you can… well…” Jane’s train of thought trailed off. Flare was not stealthy in the slightest.

“I could polymorph into a ninja pig-” Flare spitballed.

Jane snort-laughed at the idea. “YES.”

Flare laughed as we,,. “Pogchamp! That’s our plan!”

“More like pigchamp?”

“YES!” Flare cheered. He gathered the map and hopped up to his feet. “I’ve trained ya well in the art of the pun. Now, let’s get going.”

~

The two of them made their way down to the sanctuary entrance, tucked between some cliff walls that at a distance looked like one surface. Flare put his hand against the door and made a portal to the other side. Portals were one of the magics that he had carried from his home, outside every Spiral, and thus were a tad shakier to use here. (This Spiral seems to resist every magic that isn’t its own.) 

Even riskier still to try and make a portal to a place he had never set foot into. The furthest Flare could trust his portals into unknown territory was a few feet. In other words, safely past this wall but not more.

Jane put on her mask and helmet. The portal opened. Flare polymorphed. The two hopped through. The portal closed behind them.

For better and worse, they’re in.

Jane scurried to the shadowed edges of the sanctuary, and Flare hustled up a tree with newfound ninja agility. A peculiar mustache-bird of some kind flew up to Flare. Flare fought back the mounting panic of him being discovered already. It’s just a harmless bird. Not an enemy. He held out a hoof to gently pat the bird. There’s a good birdie. Calm. Friend, he thought at it. He also decided to spare a moment to magically *Check what the bird was, get some more information.

A 2D textbox appeared in front of Flare, with a splash of flavortext explaining the little creature. [Follicle Falcon (Star-Balance, rank 21 Elite): Native to the Stone of Heaven. Well known as therapy pets for their Empathic Abilities.]

So thinking at ya was the right call, Flare realized. There’s a good bird. Kinda wish I could adopt one of y’all from these guys… You deserve better than being raised by cultists, y’know?

In the meantime, Jane had made her way across the sanctuary to the door without any of the other creatures spotting her. Got the door open! Lockpicks :> she Whispered to Flare.

Perfect. Flare crept through the tree cover and climbed on the sanctuary walls, making his way over. I’ll go in first in case anybody’s right inside. Maybe they’ll miss me slipping into the rafters or something.

Jane gave a thumbs up.

Flare nudged the door open and swung inside. The room was thankfully empty, and also a bedroom? Furnished and decorated, with Life motifs everywhere. A fuzzy moss-looking carpet, a soft bed nested in bookshelves, walls lined with various supplies that Flare couldn’t investigate too closely, and a closed wardrobe. Not what he was expecting, but then again… what had he been expecting in the first place? He hadn’t really come into this plan with… any preconceived notions on what a violent apocalyptic cult’s base would look like. He wasn’t one for judging someone based off how others portrayed them, a trait that had caused him to butt heads with this Spiral’s Arcanum many times. Always considering the other perspective, never taking something as face value, save for the Arcanum itself. Because he knew the Arcanum from his own Spiral. But all this debate he got into for his differing views was all in good faith, right? A compromise could be reached eventually. Besides, if they were truly evil, he’d be able to see it for himself.

Maybe the Schismist’s base would show its true colors outside of what was obviously a personal bedroom.

Room’s empty. We’re clear, Flare Whispered to Jane.

Jane stepped in and paid little heed to the room’s decor, heading straight to the other door. She tested the doorknob- it was already unlocked. Hey, weird question, does this feel too… easy for you? she asked.

Not yet, Flare admitted. We’re only two rooms in. It’ll probably ramp up the further we go in. Leah’s not the kind of person to just throw us in the deep end immediately, he reasoned to himself. The story needs time to build, right?

Right.

Jane nodded and opened the door to the halls. She slipped behind a potted plant by the door and Flare climbed up into the rafters above the hanging lights. The floors were lined with neat runner-rugs, a very pleasing blue and purple palette that reminded Flare of his favorite sweater, and distinctly not the dark malachite green and gold normally associated with the Schismists.

The Arcanum had warned that the Schismists were fickle foes. Changing their name and their faces, but carrying the same dangerous ideologies across the ages. They’ve supposedly done it before, posing as the otherwise noble-intentioned Chronomancers in maroon and white in Mirage maintaining the Sands of Time, or the Dark Cloud Agents in grey and purple and silver harassing the Nimbari of Empyrea. Of course they’d do it again, especially after the Wizard had lain waste to those Schismist offshoots 25-odd years ago. This particular chapter of the Schismists, at the heart of Novus, called themselves the Astral Alliance.

Flare and Jane snuck their way through the fort. It was suspiciously quiet. The two of the only caught sight of some folks hanging out in what looked like a library similar to the Arcanum’s Repository, and a lemur-person checking on the sleeping Rainbow Eucalyptus tree planted down the way.

A door opened right underneath Flare! An impossibly tall moose-person stepped through the doorway, speaking to someone inside the room he had just come from: “All we can do is hope, Chancellor.”

Flare held his breath. Leah, don’t leave me hanging. Please. 

The moose’s ear twitched. He hesitated for a moment, hand to his muzzle, then straightened up with a snap of his fingers. “Er, actually, I remembered one last thing on my mind,” he said. “If I may.”

“Oh?” responded this Chancellor figure from inside. “What is it now, Manti?”

“That newest recruit-” Manti closed the door, muting the conversation too quiet for Flare to hear.

THAT WAS WAY TOO CLOSE, Jane screamed in the Whisper.

Flare nodded. We got real lucky. Anyway, next door over is the lab. Jane’s earlier comment about this quest being too easy rang in his mind again. That was so close to leading to a disaster! Had this Manti fellow heard him? Did he think it was just the wind? Did he- god forbid- know? Leah, please. Prove my worst panicking wrong. Save us. Help.

No, no there’s no way Manti knew. If he knew Flare was sneaking around, surely he would’ve sounded an alarm of some kind! Or made ANY sort of move, an attack or a word of acknowledgement like ‘I know you’re there. You came far but now you’re found out. You made a mistake coming here’ or some other archetypical monologue! He wouldn’t just know and say nothing about it.

Of course. Right. Yeah, we’re in the clear. Thanks.

Flare was overthinking.

Oh, come on, you didn’t have to say that.

Jane came out of her hiding spot and tried to pick the lab door open. However, none of her picks seemed to work. “Stupid- dammit- C’mon- Why are you harder- than the fucking outside door- you bastard-” she cursed under her breath, getting more agitated with each repeat attempt. This lock must’ve been enchanted, or just more heavy duty. Flare I think we might just need a portal past this son of a bitch.

Flare dropped down from the rafters and unpolymorphed. One portal past this son of a bitch coming right up, he Whispered back, echoing the vulgarities back because sometimes you just have to call a door a son of a bitch. Hand to the door, he tried to project a portal just barely past the door. No more than… six inches in. That’d still be well in the doorway and thus well without the odds of portaling into some furniture.

The two stepped in, expecting to be the only ones inside.

Instead, there was a hippocampus girl inside, wearing a true Schismist uniform of green and gold, and holding a batch of blueprints in her arms. “Arcanum,” she hissed upon seeing the two.

Flare closed the portal. 

“Hey bastard!” Jane jeered. “You’ve got something that we can’t letcha have!”

“These plans don’t belong to you.” The stranger backed up towards the open window on the back wall.

“We have to take them, for the sake of the Spiral!” Flare countered, stepping forward. If she dared to fly out that window, he could chase after her.

“You know nothing about the matters you’re meddling with,” the woman spat, “nor any understanding about what the Spiral needs!”

Flare dismissed the stranger’s words, and *Checked her. Mercy was rarely an option in the Spiral, and it was painfully obvious to Flare that there was no choice but to defeat and collect here, and he’d like to know what kind of enemy she was before jumping into a fight. [Shrub (Star, Rank 20 Elite) - the Old One’s daughter. Schismist like him. Raised to be a prodigy Wizard. Dangerous.]

A Wizards’ duel circle sprung up at his feet. The circle pulled Shrub in, and then Jane joined Flare. Jane noticed the textbox in front of Flare. “What’sit say?”

“Star school… which could mean just about anything,” Flare answered. “And she’s the Old One’s daughter too. Whoever that is.”

“Ah, so she’s geezer the second.”

Shrub was visibly taken aback, insulted even. But she said nothing more.

Both sides wanted this fight to end quick. The longer they stayed, the more chance there was that someone would come in and discover them. Unfortunately, Flare and Jane made a dynamic duo with him as support to her offense, and Shrub was a pesky foe with all of the worst utility a foe with Myth and Balance mastery could have. Whenever Jane had too many blades, Shrub would Earthquake them off. Whenever Shrub dared to summon an aura on herself, Flare would pop it with a Supernova. Plays upon counterplays. Neither side went down easily.

Shrub’s health ticked down slow and eventual. She had no heals of her own, while Flare was able to keep Jane’s health stable with Availing Hands, and his own health up with the occasional Dark Shepherd. Jane grinned as she looked down at her spread of cards and pip count. “You’re going down!”

“What the hell’s going on in there!?” a voice shouted through the door. The handle rattled. “Shit. ALICE!” The person ran off to find this Alice.

Flare broke the duel ring apart. God fucking damn it. Of course you wouldn’t let it be so easy, Leah. One hit away from defeating Shrub or no, the two of them HAD to leave. Alice was a foreboding force, if she had access to this room that a typical anonymous soldier wouldn’t. 

“What the hell?!” Jane protested. “We had this!”

“That was before god put us on a timer of BASICALLY ZERO,” Flare countered. “We need to go.” He made a portal to outside, the indigo lake visible.

Shrub shoved Jane aside and barreled through the portal as soon as it was large enough for her to fit, like there was a fire at her heels too.

“HEY! GET BACK HERE!” Jane shouted at her, rushing after.

Flare ran out last, closing the portal behind him. As he stopped to catch his breath, he watched Shrub run… and couldn’t help but wonder for a moment why a Schismist warrior would be so desperate to flee the Schismists’ fort too.

Jane’s shouts crashed through Flare’s pondering. “FLARE! COME ON! WE CAN’T JUST LET HER GET AWAY LIKE THAT!”

Flare huffed and stretched his arms and wings out. “I’m coming!” Whatever weird infighting and sabotage and subterfugue there was plaguing the Schismists would have to wait. Flare and Jane had a job to do.

~

The two chased Shrub down to another leyline gate, but by the time they appeared on the other side, Shrub was out of sight. “SHIT!” Jane cursed. “MOTHERFUCKING DAMMIT! SON OF A BITCH!”

Flare draped a wing around Jane. “We’re not gonna give up,” he promised. “We just gotta look around for a bit. We don’t even have to rush anymore. We can just… take a breather. Maybe some snacks?”

Jane’s eyes brightened up at that. She was always up for a snack. Could you blame her? She was a growing kid, always hungry. “Y’know what, yeah. I could go for something.”

Flare looked around. These buildings all seemed very… official. Legislative. That’s the word. Not much of a place to get snacks. He approached a hamsterman in a suit and tie. “Excuse me, sir, would you happen to know where we can get something to eat?” he asked. “We’re, uh… tourists. This is our first time here.”

“Tourists, ja? Welcome to Wunderland! Karamelle’s wondrous bite of Novus, discovered by the renowned Alice von Wunder,” the hamsterman said. “You’ll find the lovely Shopping Town on the other end of the shard. Just follow the West Path!” He pointed to a brick path winding past an open gate. “Though, if the cotton candy storms are still over the bridge, you’ll have to go the long way round instead, down to Karamelle itself und sailing up from the Candyrock Summits.”

“Thanks, mister,” Jane piped up.

“Of course, of course!” the hamsterman assured. “Oh- also, are you alright, darling? You swore very loudly when coming out of the leyline!”

“Sprained my ankle,” Jane quickly lied.

“I was able to heal it,” Flare added, letting his hand glow with magical healing light, the Helping Hand spell out of combat. “Magic.”

“Ah, ja, of coure. Wizard types,” the man said. “Well, I won’t hold you here any longer! Have an Olde-Fashioned Delightful Day!™”

~

The West Path was a beautifully curated trail among the woods. The brick road lined with candylike flowers. Gumdrops and peanut-buttercups and fondant roses. The trees were dense around the path, but occasionally there was an opening. Suppose if someone wanted to take a hike or have a picnic, or a boss battle in peace.

If I weren’t used to Wizard101 logic I’d say that’s completely oxymoronic. A boss battle in peace. As if.

You know what I mean.

Yeah yeah.

“Hey, do you think the Alice here and the Alice that other guy was calling for are the same person?” Jane asked, interrupting the banter between an author and his character. 

“Not really. Do you?” Flare asked.

“It’s just… kinda weird. Coincidental?”

Flare shrugged. “Alice isn’t that rare a name.”

“Yeah, but… isn’t the whole deal with the Schismists that they’ve snuck into everywhere? Including politics? Like claiming the shard?”

“That is fair, but… sometimes a political figure is just that. Political. Not a cultist. We shouldn’t be trying to see more people as enemies than we have to.”

“Yeah, yeah… mercy and all that,” Jane sighed. “I just… don’t wanna be blindsided. Because I’m supposed to be the next Wizard… not to mention all the pirating… I gotta keep my eyes open, y’know? Like Ione said.”

“Ione’s always been a bit of a hardass.” Flare knew the Iones in both this spiral and his well. They mean well, but can sometimes get a bit… tunnel visioned. This spiral’s Ione was worse about it by leagues. “You can keep your eyes open for more than just enemies to fight.”

“I guess. I just… don’t wanna end up on a prison galleon in Polaris or something, you know? Or worse.” 

“Yeah, I know…” Flare nodded. It’s unfair, Jane has a lot of expectations on her shoulders at any given time. He could only do so much to alleviate the stress that everything piled up on her. “Can I ask why ya said Polaris specifically? Have you been, before?”

“Not in Polaris, that was just at the tip of my tongue for some reason. I had been in Skull Island, but a pair of pirates helped bust me out bef-” Jane stopped walking. She looked up at the sky in front of her in fear. “Flare.”

“Yeah?” Flare asked, now worried. He looked to where Jane as looking. “Oh-” In front of them roared a massive pink windstorm, engulfing the edges of the land. He tried to *Check the monstrosity.

[KLorem Ipsum Hamster Cinnamon Mole Hurdy-Gurdy]

“Leah,” Flare muttered, unable to keep his irritation at me silent. “Kindly. What the fuck.”

Jane raised an eyebrow. “Who the fuck is Leah?”

“I said that aloud?”

“Yep.”

Flare pinched the pridge between his eyes. “Oh.” Shit how do I explain that we’re characters being written out without giving you an existential crisis!? “Well… he’s basically the Raven, Spider, and Bartleby of the universe I came from.”

“Huh.” Jane hesitated. “His name sounds like just some guy.”

“Yeah. He kinda is. He’s also a massive troll, like what the fuck kind of flavor text is this, man??”

Cinnamon flavor text.

Flare sighed heavily. “I walked right into that one. Son of a bitch.”

“Wait, he answered you???” Jane asked, staring at Flare in utter bewilderment.

“Oh. Yeah. He does that, for better or worse… Usually better.”

“Huh.” Her voice was hollow, Flare’s attempts to stave off the existential crisis had failed. Her friend can just… talk to God. Casually. Damn. If only she could talk to any of the Big Three. But as the existentialism sank in, a miracle unfolded itself in front of the duo. The cotton candy storm parted, like Moses at the Red Sea. 

Flare stared at the storm in bewilderment. “... Son of a bitch rescinded. Doubling down on the ‘what the fuck’, though.” 

“... if I think about this too long I think I’m going to go crazy,” Jane resolved, shaking her head briskly. “But why did- wait nope. That’s thinking about it. Nope nope nope. Can’t do that.” She pushed ahead.

Flare, however, could think about it for longer without going crazy. This meta talk was his normal. So… why this whole cloud thing? Why’d it part for us? Is reality just… kinda fucky? Shitposty? Is this… I can’t think of a better word, normal for this Spiral?

Normal is a meaningless word in Novus and its many shards. This world is Nothing that Flare had ever seen. Magics that never had the chance to surface in his Spiral dance freely in this one. Storms that feast upon existentialism are just one of the ways the fuckiness manifests. For better and worse, there’s more to come.

~

Flare and Jane breached the far edge of the cotton candy storm. The marketplace sprawled out in front of them, with shops advertising sweets galore. The docks were quite busy as well, with one grand ship coming in right now. But right now, there were more important things to pay attention to.

“So… whatcha thinking?” Flare asked, gesturing to the motley of market stands.

Jane looked around, scanning the shops for what exactly she was in the mood for. And then she found it: the holy grail of snacks, the El Dorado of Wunderland. “Chocolate. Over there.” She hurried along, and Flare followed close by.

The hubbub of the market and docks seemed to get louder and louder. Flare glanced out at it, trying to see and hear what was going on. Two voices clamored above the din, though Flare couldn’t see who was shouting it: “... of eVERYTHING DON’T LET IT BE WHAT I THINK IT IS!”

“THEY SAID, AND I QUOTE, ‘GOOD LUCK KICKING THE CALAMARI’S ASS’!”

Flare laughed. “Damn, what the fuck? Jane, you hearing this?”

“Yep. I’m also hearing my stomach growl like crazy! C’mon!” Jane called. “You’ve got the money!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!”

Karamellian candy hit different. Of course a world that’s an entire candy pun would specialize in some downright magical treats. Flare and Jane found a nice shaded spot to sit, chill, and snack. Flare kept his eyes on the skies. That Shrub… After this snack break, he and Jane would have to hunt her down. She probably had to fly around the cotton candy storms. That is… if she was even here. There was a chance that she was headed to some place in the middle of the woods, on the other side of the cotton candy storms, not having to fly at all.

Jane had much less serious things on her mind for now. She heard the mechanical whirr of some sort of… incredibly smooth clockwork come up to her. She looked down and gasped. A small mechanical cat sat in front of her. A bright red coat of paint on its face and body, its ears and tail segmented and silvers, its legs replaced with small wheels under its body. It stared up at Jane with the brightest digital (OwO) expression on its screen of a face. “Flare,” Jane gasped, staring at it as well, completely enamored.

Flare glanced down. “Oh! Where’d this fella come from?”

“No idea. It’s adorable, though.” Jane pet the metal kitten  on its head. It stretched its head up to meet her hand. A digital “Meow!” rang from it. “I’m keeping it,” Jane resolved.

“It’s not owned, is it?”

“It’s not wearing a collar.”

Flare decided to *Check it just in case. [Kit_10. The purrfect pet of Tomorrow! This one isn’t currently owned :3] “It’s your lucky day.”

Jane picked the Kit_10 up and hugged it close. “Hell fuckin’ yeah! I just gotta figure out what to name ya…”

“I’m sure a name will come to ya soon enough,” Flare said. He went back to watching the skies. Where could Shrub have possibly gone?

THERE! On a building by the docks! Leaning against the roof, the greens of her skin and suit almost blending in with the green rooftiles. Key word, almost. There was no way she was just… chilling up there. Flare could see the blueprints in her hands. She must be watching, or listening, or both. As much as Flare wanted to get up and see what was Shrub was espyin’ upon, he knew he’d be spotted if he moved.

Maybe that’d be to his advantage.

“I’m gonna see what’s up with the crowd,” he told Jane. “I’ll be back.”

Jane nodded. “I’ll be trying to come up with names for this guy.”

And down Flare went. Casual, unassuming, he tried his best to not look at Shrub. If she saw him looking at her, she’d know he knew she was there. These sorts of mind games were really dizzying to spell out, but not too hard for him to actually grasp and act upon. Meanwhile, the crowds were talking. Through all the hubbub, Flare couldn’t quite make out what any one person was saying, aside from a few key phrases that seemed almost entirely nonsequitur: Calamari, eldritch putty, Stallion Quartermane, Astral Alliance, Lemuria.

Lemuria was an incredibly… touchy point. It was why Flare was in this second Spiral in the first place. The Schismists of this Spiral had somehow come over to his own, stole an entire world, and brought it here. Flare had come over to this Spiral to warn its Arcanum that the Schismists were making these big moves, while his Arcanum had sent Maulwurf von Trap, ex-Schismist and skilled spy, to infiltrate the Schismists’ ranks and perhaps devise a way to bring Lemuria back?

Now that Flare thought about it, he hadn’t ever had much of a chance to check in on Maulwurf. Every time he actively remembered his friend, there’d always be something else that he HAD to take care of. But right now, there was no such rush. Flare tried to send a Whisper: Hey! Checking in. You safe? How’s Lemuria?

No response. 

He must be busy too, Flare realized. Sadge.

He glanced up towards the building, and just barely caught sight of Shrub’s tail slipping into the window. Damn, perfect timing. Had he looked up a second later, he would’ve missed that. Thank god I saw that. You’re welcome. That building had to be a meeting point of some kind, why else would she have snuck in? Trying to go inside, then coming out through the front door, then sneaking her way into another building would only risk her being noticed by the other people in the crowds.

Flare went back to Jane. “Whenever you’re ready, I found Shrub. We can go yoink the blueprints.”

“Oh shit!” Jane gasped. She stood up. “You bet your ass I’m ready! Let’s go!” She put her helmet on, then picked the Kit_10 up. “I’ll name this guy later. Haven’t had anything good come to mind.”

~

Flare and Jane went down to the building. It was a quaint three-story tower looking out over the docks. Makes sense the Schismists would want a foothold in a busy port, keep an eye on who comes and goes. There was a sign on the door saying “Authorized Personnel Only” in a handful of languages.

“Think we can just portal in?” Jane asked.

Flare looked up to the third floor. “It’ll be risky. We dunno the layout inside. I don’t wanna open up a portal into the middle of the room.”

“We kicked Shrub’s ass once before, we can do it again. This isn’t the entire fort. We won’t get swarmed”

“Meow!” the Kit_10 seemed to agree.

Flare mulled it over, but finally relented. “Alright. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best.” He opened a portal, and prayed that there’d be cover.

The portal opened up to the top of a stairwell. There was a hall and a bend between it and the main room. Perfect.

The duo crept in. Jane put the Kit_10 down. “Okay kitty, I need you to be quiet,” she whispered. “No meows, okay?”

The Kit_10 nodded its mechanical little head.

There was talking within the main room. Voices heard, but faces unseen. “- did not go as smoothly as we had planned, sir.” Shrub’s voice. “The Arcanum sent two of its soldiers to interfere and attempt to retrieve your works as well.”

“I trust you disposed of them?” an older man asked.

“I could not. They were too coordinated, and able to heal back the damage I cast. I only escaped because they fled as soon as we heard an Alliance grunt fetch a senior member.”

“I see. A botched mission that you succeed in is better than one you fail, but moving forward I expect you to do better.”

“Of course, sir.”

A silence.

“... Father,” Shrub amended.

A chill ran through Flare as he put two and two together. He made a text box, silent. [the Old One himself.]

Oh shit, Jane mouthed. She glanced down, to check on the Kit_10. It wasn’t at her feet. She tapped Flare’s arm and pointed down at where the Kit_10 no longer was.

Oh shit, Flare mouthed as well. Fuck, where did it go?!

The Old One made but the slightest ‘hm’ of recognizing his other title. “I trust these two soldiers didn’t track you.” As if the Arcanum would ever resort to tactics that low! Flare and Jane had followed her themselves, they were just that good, no extra trackers required!

“Of course not,” Shrub assured. “They made no physical contact with me, and I was airborne and past the treeline by the time they came through the leyline gate. Additionally, the cotton candy storms are swarming, and only one of the soldiers is winged. With how coordinated they were, I doubt he would have chased after me alone, especially considering he was merely support to the other.”

“Meow!” 

OH SHIT. THAT WAS FROM THE MAIN ROOM.

Silence, and then “Meow! Meow! Meow! Meeeow! Meeeow! Meeeow! Meow! Meow! Meow!” 

“There goes stealth,” Jane grumbled. “Fuck it.” She charged to the main room, Flare right behind, to see the Kit_10 desperately shaking its head and whipping its tail around, as if struggling in the grip of… the Old One. An imposing figure, standing some seven foot tall, his piercing pale gray eyes, immaculate suit (classy top hat included), and posture all radiating an aura of cold command. That was one hell of a B.B.E.G. a la modern video game design if Flare had ever seen one.

Shrub reacted to Jane and Flare barging in first, however. “YOU! How did you-”

“As if we’d ever let you know, Shrub!” Flare retorted. “You ran into the wrong Wizards!”

“You gave them your name?” the Old One asked Shrub.

“I would never!” Shrub insisted. “They- I won’t let you two show me up again!”

The Old One stretched a wing to Shrub’s shoulder, the claw at the tip poking at her skin. “You are being rash. Your judgement clouds.”

“Meow!” the Kit_10 screeched, releasing a spark from its body. The Old One flinched and dropped it, and it rushed right over to Jane.

“… I see the Arcanum’s judgement has clouded over as well, if they think they can send two of its pawns to properly meddle,” the Old One continued. “I suppose you had chance abound to turn back, but mercy is not an option within the Arcanum.”

Flare hated how the Old One ripped that philosophy out of his soul and turned it against him. But… he was right, wasn’t he? There’s no way this can end peacefully now. There was no way the Old One and Shrub would let them leave, with or without the blueprints. There was bound to be a fight. Flare tightened his grip on his spelldeck, and Jane on her wand. 

“Your deaths are entirely your fault,” the Old One warned. He snapped his fingers, and into battle he dragged himself, Shrub, Flare, and Jane. 

Flare quickly *Checked the chthonic man. [The Old One (Myth-Life, Rank 20 Boss) - Secret author of history. Always watching, always nudging. Actually dangerous.] “Oh, this is gonna suck,” Flare groaned. Good luck kicking the calamari’s ass, indeed!

“How bad?” Jane asked.

“Myth-Life. He can heal.”

“Motherfucker.”

Even though the duel circle had declared that Flare and Jane would move first, the Old One had a cheat up his sleeve. A Wyldfire sprung around them all. The Old One didn’t make any scoff or taunt about how apparently he had even more than just two schools of magic at his command.

Flare handed Jane a Blade, and Jane wasted no time attacking Shrub. She had learned from the first fight with her, trying to stack multiple buffs was a waste of time, a pesky Earthquake would just toss it to the wint. This fight would have to be won by a thousand papercuts, and hopefully they can outdamage the Old One’s heals.

An aura sparked to life at the Old One’s feet, and Shrub cast a Spiritblade upon her father. And then the damndest thing happened: the Death portion of the Spiritblade popped, and a second set of Myth- and Lifeblades took its place.

“What the fuck?!” Jane shouted. “That’s bullshit!”

“Now I get what the ‘actually’ was for,” Flare muttered. “He’s gonna sweep us.” But for now, the two of them were still standing. Flare used a cheeky Donate Power, Jane would need all the pips she could get for attack spamming. Jane bid her time with an aura of her own. The Old One cast a pesky weakness on Jane, and Shrub once again lent a blade to her father, which once again burst into a Myth- and Lifeblade pair.

Flare’s heart sank deeper. What was that… six different blades on the Old One in two turns?! If he hit, then the two of them would absolutely wipe. There’s no way Jane could take a triple-bladed hit, and Flare wouldn’t be in good shape either! He cast a Spirit shield on Jane, and Jane lobbed another attack at Shrub. Her attacks weren’t the strongest as is, and that extra Weakness from last round DID NOT HELP.

Finally, the Old One sent an absolute behemoth of an attack. Tatzlewurm, a nasty AOE that neither Jane nor Flare had ever seen, let alone been on the receiving end of! Shielding Jane was the right call! Holy shit! Shrub then cast an attack of her own, at Jane! Just to pile on the pain.

Only three rounds in and this fight was already going bad. Flare chose to heal himself with an Availing Hands, and Jane picked out a Tower shield to also help Flare stay on his feet- but before either spell could come out, the Old One had yet another cheat?! Out of absolutely NOWHERE, a DoT burned into existence at the two Wizards’ feets, then a frigid Balefrost took Wyldfire’s place. 

Flare was damn glad that he and Jane both went on the defensive!

The Old One decided to go defensive as well, casting a Tower Shield of his own- that glitched and became an absorb for- 

“EX FUCKING CUSE ME?!” Jane shouted out of turn. “FIVE FUCKING THOUSAND?!”

“You made a mistake trifling in Schismist affairs!” Shrub taunted on the Old One’s behalf. “Now you see what you’re messing wi-”

“Enough!” the Old One scolded Shrub. “You make yourself seem a fool with your banter.” 

Admonished, Shrub simply cast her spell, a Balanceblade like before. Strangely, this time, it didn’t split. Did the Old One’s abilities depend on which Global buff was up?

“Jane, try casting a bubble,” Flare suggested. “We could use the extra edge, and… I’ve got a theory.”

Jane nodded and cast out a Balance of Power while Flare healed himself again. The bubble took over the Balefrost for a moment, then faltered.

“Alright. That solves nothing. Good to know,” Flare grimaced.

“Playing by this bastard’s rules…” Jane growled. She glanced down at the Kit_10 at her feet. This was all the damn pet’s fault! If it hadn’t rolled out here, then there would’ve been a chance that they could’ve avoided this fight! If Jane hadn’t taken it in the first place, then it wouldn’t have been anywhere near here! Mad at the damn pet, mad at herself. But it’s not like she could do anything about it now! She’s in a fight! And… she doesn’t have the heart to leave such an itty bitty weird clockwork kitty all alone. A captain doesn’t abandon any of her crew, not even the kind that gets her in danger. She made a damn commitment to the Kit_10, for better and for worse.

The fight dragged on, Flare and Jane both struggling to keep themselves and each other alive. Flare began to rely heavily on Dark Shepherd to sustain himself, but even that wasn’t enough. They hardly had the chance to properly attack, and what damage they did do to Shrub and the Old One was quickly healed back up, either by Healing Currents that the Old One just happened to be able to use as a Darkwind crackled around them, or with a healing spell Flare had never seen before, Never Say Die, when the Old One’s own Balance of Power shone.

Flare couldn’t see a way out. Everything he tried to think of felt like it would fail, either thanks to his own exhaustion or the Old One’s power or the Spiral itself enforcing its rules and rejecting every other magic. He couldn’t break the duel circle apart because he wasn’t the one who summoned it this time! He couldn’t summon portals while in combat, and even if he could, it’s not like he could go through them! The duel circle kept him right where he stood. The other nonSpiralian magic he had didn’t translate well into Spiral combat, plus how much could it even possibly do, as spent as Flare was already? How much determination did he really have, in the face of certain doom? His hands were tied. Perhaps he’d be a braver and foolier martyr who could say ‘fuck it’ and try some desperate gambit, if it weren’t for the fact that Jane was here. He had to keep Jane safe. He was bound to that duty.

Jane didn’t have her own ‘Jane’ to keep safe. She was getting pissed. Trying to help Flare heal the two of them was getting nowhere, Wizard heals were nothing like the heals a Pirate could use! She looked to the spells in her hand. One card appeared all sorts of fucked up. Torn, blurred, covered in glitches and blocks of black static. She had been avoiding using that spell because using a fucked up spell like that simply… felt dangerous. Like using a sparkthrower that clearly wasn’t maintained, or a busted shield. But at this point, she had no other option. She cast it, a hail mary.

The attack spun itself together, taking the form of a… pillar? A tree? Before she could even tell what the fuck it was, though, it glitched and fell apart. A waste of however many pips she had. 

Dread strangled her like handcuffs and an ill-fitting necklace. What the actual shit was that? Are you fucking kidding me? No. NO. I’m not letting my turn be a fucking waste! Her absolute rage cut through whatever bullshit laws of magic forced this entire song and dance. A dagger through tough ropes. To hell with ‘turns’ in the first place! Jane grabbed the Kit_10 and stormed forward. “HEY, MOLD ONE! EAT SHIT!” And she threw the Kit_10 at the Old One with the fury of a thousand fucking suns.

The Old One brought his arms up to try and catch the Kit_10. However its momentum barreled it past his hands, and it crashed into his sternum, his windpipe, his spine. Like a cannonball tearing through a flimsy ship hull. Absolute shock and indignation. How did this child-

His body collapsed under the weight of the Kit_10, and his spine failing. For better and worse (though mostly for better), the Old One was as damned as dead.

Shrub stared at her father’s corpse. Terror ate at her bones. Her stomach churned at the sight of some of of her father’s blue blood trickling out from his mouth. “You…”

“Geeettttttt dunked on!” Jane crowed. “Hey, Flare, how’d I do?”

Flare blinked, getting out of his shocked stupor. “Uh- You did great! Let’s get out of here.” He had no idea how Jane had done… any of that, but good for her! And what the fuck! But mostly good for her! He broke the duel circle apart and picked up the blueprints Shrub had left on a small desk in the corner.

“Meow!” the Kit_10 said, chipper as ever, despite it still sitting on a bloody corpse.

“And you did great too!” Jane said, scooping the Kit_10 in her arms, babytalking it. “I am so proud of you!”

Flare made a portal to the Arcanum. “Let’s get that cleaned up before you cuddle it,” he told Jane with a slight chuckle. He wanted to get out of here. He didn’t do well with corpses. Especially not fresh ones.

“NO,” Shrub screeched, all the grief and hatred bursting from her in a moment. “No, I will not let you get away with this! Don’t you dare think you can get away with this!” She glared at Flare and Jane, her eyes as smoldering hot as her late father’s had been piercing cold. “I am what you two could never be. What neither Arcanum nor Alliance could ever understand. Neither you nor Manticore can stop the Spiral’s true fate!”

Jane opened her mouth to deliver one last scathing clapback, but Flare stood in the way and gently nudged her through the portal. She was grieving, snapping, they should at least give her the mercy of quiet. He closed the portal as soon as the two were through.

“Awh come on, are ya seriously gonna let her have the last word?” Jane asked. “I had a helluva jeer for her, too! I’m already what she is, just some girl with a dead dad!”

Flare took a deep breath. How the hell to explain this. “We cannot take another fight. We’ve got like… what, maybe two hundred HP apiece, was it?”

“And what’re we supposed to do, just let her ramble and diss us like that?”

“We rest. We recover. And who knows, maybe she’ll find us and we get a chance to fight her again.” Those words dropped from his mouth and settled in his gut like lead. He did not want to face her again. He hadn’t wanted to be accomplice for murder. He hadn’t wanted to force Jane into a position where she had to murder. But for better and for worse… it happened anyway. “You should wash yourself and the Kit_10 off. I’ll hand in the blueprints and report to Ione.”

~

A few hours later, after the not-so-simple quest had been turned in, Flare found Jane and the Kit_10 over by Sybil, the sleeping birch of the Arcanum. He still had no idea what its name was. “So, got any ideas of names for it?”

“Meow!” the Kit_10 mewed as Flare approached.

“How about Stabbington the Squidslayer?” Jane asked. “They did help, after all.” She gave it a pat on the head.

Flare sat down next to Jane. “Someone might get mad,” he warned. “Y’know, given that’s literally us admitting our crime. And accomplice.” Technically the Kit_10 was a weapon, not an accomplice, but technicalities.

“So… not a great idea in the slightest. Gotcha…” Jane looked aside. She was used to being proud of her crimes. Having to keep silent about her accomplishment, especially with how kickass it was, felt stifling. 

“But… we can make a pun out of it so convoluted nobody will guess?”

“Oh yeah!”

Flare rushed to the Arcanum’s Repository, grabbed a encyclopedia of marine life, and hurried back to Jane. “Let’s see… what puns can we come up with for…” He flipped over to the page for the common squid. “Loligo vulgaris?” He then did a double take. “Wait. Vulgaris? Really?? What the hell, scientists???” What’s so vulgar about a squid?

“What about… Grim Bubbles?” Jane then suggested. “Grim like the grim reaper, and bubbles because sea life?”

Flare gasped and slammed the encyclopedia shut. “That’s GENIUS.”

“Why, thank you!” Jane tried to bow, overdramatic and proud. It just looked like she was folding herself over Grim Bubbles, gloping it in an armless hug. She then straightened up. “I do have a wonderful teacher, after all.”

“That ya do,” Flare admitted, letting himself have a moment of pride too.

“Meow!” Bubbles said. It wheeled around, mechanical zoomies.

“Aww, they like it too!” Jane cooed. 

It was rather nice, being able to play with Bubbles. A moment of lightheartedness and peace. Jane didn’t have any regrets today. Flare had a few, but that’s simply to be expected. He could never take something as face value or absolute. 

~

This quest happened for better and worse, and the two of them were certain it was ultimately for the better.