#it's such a lovely experience to live in one's bubble of universe
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bluemantics · 15 hours ago
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JULANCE DAY 6: ALTEAN
Coran loved to rope Lance into chores. At first, Lance assumed it was due to the fact that he was too slow to notice what he was being dragged into. By the time he realized what Coran was asking, Pidge, Hunk, and Keith had already muttered weak excuses and dashed off, leaving Lance blinking aimlessly in their wake. Before he could even say “quiznak,” Coran would spirit him off to hold tools while he fixed the engine or wipe down the healing pods.
It was annoying, sure, but Lance didn’t really mind it as much as the others seemed to. He wasn’t a training junkie like Keith and Shiro or a nerd like Hunk and Pidge, so a lot of his free time was spent staring at walls while the others did productive work. At least he could help somehow, during his downtime.
However, his annoyance faded as their maintenance got increasingly interesting. One particular day involved Coran leading Lance down a hidden series of hallways he’d never explored. At that moment, Lance realized he’d never gotten an official castle tour from Coran beyond their rooms and vital areas. He felt moronic for not exploring it sooner, until the old Altean had dragged him off to a strange passage.
He was in an alien castle, for goodness’s sake. That fact alone was way too exciting and interesting to keep filing away as mundanity.
When they entered the area they’d be working on, Lance felt his eyes bug out of his head. Behind sliding doors was an incredible array of thin tablets, lined up in loopy shelves that almost were arranged randomly throughout the space. Some were within the walls at the edges, while others curved through the space in weaving, silvery lines. Blue light emanated gently from a circular inlay in the ceiling and washed the space in an ocean-like atmosphere. Curiosity seized him almost immediately as he reached over and plucked a thin tablets from the shelf. It was a clear, rectangular piece of glass at first look, but as he waved a hand over the surface, blue holographic Altean letters danced across the space in front of him.
“What is this place?” he asked Coran, swiping through the words he couldn’t read and watching as they scrolled forward.
Coran responded with an Altean word that seemingly had no English or Spanish translation, pulling out some rags and setting up their work area.
“Uh, could you define that?” Lance clarified. Understanding dawned on Coran.
“Well, number three, we would describe this as a breathing, living history of our people, their experiences, and their most precious stories, both real and unreal.”
“A library,” Lance mumbled, wishing desperately that he could understand the words from the tablet. “So each of these tablets are like… books?”
“Precisely! Assuming these ‘books’ contain information, records, and tales,” Coran agreed.
“They do,” Lance confirmed. “There’s probably so much information in here. Not just on the Galra, but also Altean culture and the rest of the universe. How come we haven’t seen this before?”
He looked to Coran, shock hitting him when he saw the normally bubbly man deflate slightly, his gaze traveling up around the beautiful hall.
“Well, my boy, I’m afraid Altean is somewhat of a dying language, now,” Coran explained, voice melancholy. The lines around his eyes seemed to deepen with unspoken memories as he spoke. “There are two speakers of it left in the whole universe now. Three, if you count Zarkon. In fact, what we’re doing today is the first maintenance it has seen in 10,000 deca-phoebs.”
A wave of realization crashed through Lance at once as he recalled the previous tasks they’d accomplished together between missions. While they’d started in the engine room and the kitchen— the most important areas to their mission— they’d lately covered dining halls, a video room, and a holographic projection display center. Now, faced with this library, the truth of it was undeniable.
“We aren’t just fixing up the castle, are we? We’re restoring it. The history.” The thought was warm and cold simultaneously; preservation of such a beautiful place meant it would stay intact, but it also wasn’t truly designed for active use. As if Coran hadn’t expected the paladins to make use of the areas important to Altean culture.
“I would like us to be remembered,” Coran admitted, using a rag to start dusting the shelves. “Even after the war is ancient dust.”
And Lance’s gut clenched. He turned over the tablet in his hands, shutting off the letters and placing it back on its shelf.
Determinedly, he grabbed a rag of his own and began to clean the shelves with newfound vigor.
“I’ll use the library,” he told Coran, heart wrenching in his chest. “So let’s bring it back to working condition.”
Coran laughed. “But you don’t understand Altean! Don’t be silly.”
“I don’t understand Altean yet.”
Coran paused, not looking at Lance. A small smile tugged up his moustache, his face softening ever so slightly. Then, as if nothing had happened, he continued to clean silently.
Disappointment welled up in Lance, weighing down his limbs. He continued to work silently beside Coran, wondering if he’d pushed too far, somehow hurting the other man, his anxiety spiking at the thought.
Finally, after the silence stretched, Coran said, “I would like that very much.”
Lance beamed.
“Thanks for inviting me to fix your home,” Lance managed, trying to calm his nerves.
Coran’s eyes twinkled. “Thank you for caring.”
Later, after a particularly horrible (read: dogshit) mission, Lance sat wearily on the infirmary table with a permanent grimace painted on his features. The sleeve of his undersuit had been ripped away, exposing a nasty shoulder injury that was just left of needing healing pod time. His mind swam, hating the way the bright lights dug into his brain, the way the pain seared in his skin, the way he’d been to slow, the way he’d missed his chance, the way he’d let down—
Coran broke through the agonizing, humming from behind him, beginning to dress his wound suddenly. The sudden cold against his body made him hiss from the surprise.
“Apologies! You knocked yourself quite badly with this one.” Coran wrapped his shoulder with a tight bandage that would keep a cold compress attached to his body. His motions were slow, thoughtful and tender as he patched Lance up.
“Thanks for fixing me,” Lance huffed, throat choked up. Then, he continued in Altean, copying a phrase he’d found in the library tablets. “[You have helped me, I am better than I was yesterday.]” Maybe not a perfect response, but the best he could muster for now. He felt Coran’s movements stall at his shoulder.
“Ah, my boy,” he whispered, eyes brimming with conflicting emotions. “[It appears to go both ways.]”
Lance grinned, his pain forgotten temporarily under the warmth of Coran’s steady hand at his back.
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kismetconstellations · 2 months ago
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"Allura... I love you. I have for a long time. I wanna be your family. Earth can be your home, or-or anywhere you wanna go, it doesn't matter. I would follow you across the universe." "You truly feel that way?" "With all my heart."
Bonus:
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#Lance McClain#Allura#You're everything and everyone who is or ever was.#Allurance#OTP: I would follow you across the universe.#Voltron: Legendary Defender#Mine.#All I want is to fly with queue.#This scene is so good... !!#Can we pretend that this episode was the series finale and nothing after it exists?#Being a Shiro and Allura fan is such a miserable experience.#You get to watch your favorite characters essentially be tortured until they die#with RARE moments of happiness and reprieve in the mean time#but never any true healing.#This is the closest that Allura gets to any sense of true happiness#to a balm being applied to all of the pain that she's carried with her since Episode ONE#and I just want to live in a delusional bubble where it's able to last#and she doesn't spend the rest of the series mired in guilt and grief until she kills herself.#Let me live in a fantasy land where Allura and Coran become a part of Lance's family and Lance's siblings are the aunts and uncles to Lance#and Allura's half-Altean babies.#And Shiro is the babies' godfather because he is VERY much isolated and has no family anywhere in sight and desperately deserves to feel#loved and appreciated and get to heal too.#And Allura gets to live among her people and revive their culture that she was so desperate and repeatedly narratively punished for#wanting to connect to.#Queen Allura and her Prince Consort Lance and their most trusted advisor Coran.#THAT'S the ending the characters deserved!#Not a senseless hateful “tragedy” in a show made to sell toys to seven year-olds!
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cosmicsproutcake · 1 year ago
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i once had an anti tell me to stop sexualizing their trauma on a story i wrote that was a word for word retelling of my own actual trauma but with names changed and its been 2 years and i still cant stop thinking about that
Ah, yeah... Unfortunately a non-insignificant number of antishippers seem to genuinely believe they own the concept of trauma, so any story they read that they believe to be portrayed in a romanticized or sexualized light therefore must be romanticizing/sexualizing their trauma specifically.
I couldn't tell you the amount of times I've gotten the "stop sexualizing my trauma!!!!!!" or adjacent comments from antishippers that universally garner a response that basically boils down to
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Like, bitch! I'm talking about my trauma! I literally did not even know you existed until you fucking commented!
#proship#proshipper#anti bs#just anti things#glad to know antis assuming every story about trauma must be about them specifically seems to be a universal proshipper experience lol#like *how* am I sexualizing *your* trauma when I literally do not even know who you are?#like if you hadn't commented I would've gone my entire life not knowing you even exist#if I had omnipotence like that I certainly would not be using that power to sexualize the trauma of some random fucking stranger! lol#you think my petty ass would be doing *that* instead of the infinitely more infuriating thing of spoiling every show you love at any chance#jokes aside though like seriously get fucking real#I hate to burst your main character syndrome bubble but nobody fucking cares about you#not in the ''nobody loves you and you'll die alone'' sense#but in the ''you are just Some Guy™ and the 8 billion other people on the planet have their own problems to worry about'' sense#if someone is writing about trauma maybe take your self-centred goggles off for 5 fucking seconds#and maybe you'll realise that it is 1000000% more likely this random stranger is writing about *their* trauma#and *not* the trauma of a person whose entire existence they are not even aware of#I do believe the tiktok trend of referring to strangers as ''NPCs'' has at least contributed to this epidemic of main character syndrome#people you don't know are *not* ''NPCs'' you fucking robot!#they are human beings just like you with lives and dreams and loved ones#you just don't know them#sorry but I genuinely think I'd go to jail for murder if I ever heard someone refer to me as an ''NPC'' out in public#'cause genuinely who the fuck do you think you are!?
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mariasont · 4 months ago
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That anon was living under a rock because your smut fics (all of your fics tbh!) I reread wayyy to many times, lol. But if you’re taking smut requests, I’d love to see more bimbo!reader and Hotch! I can’t get enough.
I’ll take anything!! But more specifically, their first time, all of that built up tension (that you write so perfectly!) finally breaks!
Anyways, I never send in requests but I saw a window of opportunity and had to take it, haha.
Third Date Rule - A.H
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summary: the third date proves to be worth the wait when you and hotch experience your first time together. pairings: aaron hotchner x bimbo!assistant!reader warnings: 18+ MDNI, sexy time, fingering, oral fem receiving, p in v, they did not in fact wrap it before tapping it and it's not really discussed so yeah idk about that one, aftercare wc: 7.7k
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This was so overdue.
Technically, it's only been three dates. Technically.
But if you count all the years you'd known him, the months spent daydreaming about this moment, the weeks of waiting while he played the world's longest game of restraint, then really, you should have had him naked ages ago.
And if Aaron (which still feels like a thrill to say — Aaron — because you're dating now and you can freely call him that) wasn't so stubborn and noble and insufferably gentlemanly, you would have.
But tonight was finally the night. The third date. The sacred, hallowed, much-debated, universally accepted gateway to getting into the sheets. And yes, okay, maybe you barely survived the wait without jumping his bones, but that's hardly relevant now. The point is, you did it.
And now you're in his lap, his tie wound tight around your fingers, his tongue deep in your mouth, and gods, if this night didn't end with him inside you, you might actually die. 
Like, literally. Heart failure. Sudden death.
This was premeditated. At least, for you. You moisturized like your life depended on it, doused yourself in perfume that could be classified as a controlled substance, and selected a bra that made your tits look so insane, it might actually be illegal in some states.
And then you spent an embarrassing amount of time picking the perfect dress that says oh, I'm classy, but also please take me home and rip this off with your teeth.
You pull away, just enough to see him. To take in the slow bloom of pink trailing from his cheeks to the tips of his ears, the way his pupils are so wide they’ve all but erased the brown of his eyes. And his lips — swollen and red from kissing you — part like he was debating how bad it would be to drag you right back in. You wouldn’t mind.
“Aaron,” you sigh, fingers burying into his hair, marveling at how absurdly soft it is, how freely he lets you have this piece of him. “We should go to bed.”
For a second, he locks up. Not hesitation but calibration, a body processing desire so sharp it might break him. You feel it in the way his chest expands, in the quiet exhale through his nose.
"This wasn't my plan for the night," he murmurs, voice softer now, not strained, but steeped in something much gentler. Something careful. "I wasn't —," He shakes his head, like the whole concept doesn’t sit right in his mouth. "I don't want you to think this is just —,"
"Sex?"
You can see the way he wants to argue, like he wants to carve the word out of the air and replace it with something that means more.
"Yes."
You can’t stop the stupid, lovestruck smile pulling at your lips. Maybe it’s the wine from dinner finally working its magic. (It’s not.) Maybe it’s the way he’s looking at you, all serious and earnest, like you’re the only thing in existence, and if he blinks, you might vanish. (It definitely is.)
A laugh bubbles up, light and giddy, body not knowing what to do with all this adoration. You lean in, pressing a kiss to his jaw, just to see if he’ll let you. (He does.)
“Are you serious? If you just wanted sex, you wouldn’t have spent actual years pretending my very dedicated, very expertly executed attempts to seduce you weren’t happening.”
His brow arches, but you see it for what it is — a stall. “Expertly, huh?”
"Remember that heatwave last summer? When I just had to eat a popsicle at my desk every afternoon?"
His eyes darken like the memory is playing in high definition behind his eyes.
"I remember."
"Do you?" Your fingers slip beneath his color. “Because —” You tilt your head. “I always seemed to finish them standing in front of your office —"
You don't even get to finish your sentence. 
One second, you’re speaking, the next, you’re airborne. Lifted clean off the couch, legs locking around his waist automatically, arms thrown around his shoulders like you planned this all along.
You didn’t, but you wish you had. 
Not that it matters, because he’s already moving, already walking straight to the bedroom.
You bury your smile against his jaw, letting your breath tickle against the shell of his ear as another giggle slips out. It couldn’t be helped.
"I really hope you know," you whisper, “that I am, like, stupidly excited for this. Like, counting down the days excited.”
Aaron sets you down on the mattress gently, but his body doesn’t follow right away, hovering over you.
"You're not making this easy for me."
You ignore him because you’re much more distracted by how insanely soft his sheets are. That was your first thought when your back hits the mattress, hair fanning across the pillows.
For a fleeting second, you wonder if he’ll catch the scent of your perfume tomorrow. If he’ll notice the ghost of you when he lays down alone.
Your second was that this is so not the time nor place to get emotional. 
But this is his space. His bed. His room.
It’s tidy, but somehow not sterile, everything having its place, but not afraid to be used. A book sits on the nightstand, a book mark sticking out mid-thought. A photo frame faces the bed, though from this angle you struggle to see what’s inside.
There’s his suit jacket from yesterday, draped over the back of a chair, a little rumpled. 
And maybe it's silly, but you feel weirdly honored to be here.
You should probably be processing this moment, what it means to be here, with him, like this. Instead, you take a second to admire the view.
The lamp softens the sharp lines of his face, making him look almost gentle — which is funny, considering how you hoped to be thoroughly destroyed by him.
Something expands inside you, stretching against the walls of your chest, something too big, something that terrifies you.
So you do what you do best. You deflect.
“I can’t believe I’m about to sleep with my boss.”
He doesn’t even try to hide his exasperation, his forehead dropping into the crook of your neck. “Sweetheart—,”
"What?" You giggle, letting your fingers slide through his hair, letting your nails rake lightly over his scalp. "It's true."
His sigh is nothing short of pained, but then he kisses your cheek anyway, then your jaw, then the corner of your mouth. You were starting to feel like each was a thinly veiled attempt to tame you.
"Please don't phrase it like that."
"Yes, Mr. Hotchner." 
Every self-satisfied thought evaporates the moment he kisses you – really kisses you.
It’s not just a meeting of lips but a focused intensity, tongue sweeping inside your mouth and suddenly nothing before this mattered, because clearly, clearly, every kiss you’ve ever had was just practice for this one. 
Your body responds before your mind can catch up, spine arching and he doesn’t stop you, just kisses you with a hunger that makes teasing obsolete, that makes breathing secondary to the way he’s taking from you, giving to you, all at once.
His lips wander, dragging across your jaw like he’s leaving invisible ink behind, pressing something permanent into your skin.
You hope you’ll wake up tomorrow and still feel him there.
Your hands move to the nape of his neck, drawn by craving, by the need circling inside you like a ribbon of fire.
It stretches outward, licking at your skin, threading through your veins. His hands hold you still, spanning over your rib. His breath fans over your pulse, and you swear he can feel how fast it’s racing.
You should be gloating right now. This is, after all, exactly what you wanted, what you worked for. A biting remark sits on the top of your tongue, but then his mouth moves, and he finds it.
That wicked, traitorous little dip beneath your jaw that turns your entire brain into pink, glittering static. He pauses, listening, feeling, before sealing his mouth over it again, tongue dragging over the sensitive skin like he’s testing a theory that he already knows the answer to.
Your fingers clench in his hair, a startled sound choking in your throat before you can stop it. And then, the bastard laughs. Not sweet, not kind, but low and sharp and smug because he knows exactly what he’s done. 
You had the upper hand. Past tense.
"There it is," he murmurs, pressing another kiss there, his tongue flattening over it just to make you squirm. "You want to know how I figured this out?"
You hum, or try to. But it’s pathetic because you’re barely conscious, every cell fried to uselessness by his mouth.
He mimics you, just to be an ass about it, mocking the dazed little sound like he hasn’t just reduced you to it. "You always reached for it when I looked at you too long."
Your mouth opens. Closes.
"Or," he continues, "when I stood too close to you at the coffee machine. You'd fidget, tuck your hair behind your ear like you weren't thinking about it." His exhale burns against your pulse. "Cute."
You gasp, a little offended, mostly turned on. "Oh, wow. Profiling me? At work? That's, like, wildly unethical."
"Didn't need to," he murmurs. "You were practically begging me to figure you out."
His mouth is perfect in the way lightning is perfect – striking, searing, and completely out of your control. It’s perfect enough that you can pretend not to hear him.
He sucks, slow and hard enough to tear a sound from your lips before you even know it’s there, something that feels like vulnerability in its purest form. Something you would never willingly give him.
His laugh is quiet, wrecking, as he pulls back, lips slick with your skin. "That good?"
His mouth makes quick work, over your collarbone, down, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses, down, branding every inch of skin he can reach. 
He stops at the neckline of your dress, and suddenly, you can't think about anything except how it's still on.
You want to strip it off, want to offer yourself up as a willing sacrifice, but you’re well aware that if you try, if you even reach, he’ll stop you. Or worse, he'll make you wait. He'll slow you down, draw it out just to watch you squirm because patience is his weapon of choice, because he lives for making you suffer.
His teeth graze the swell of your breast, just enough to sting, and whatever fragile grip you had on yourself disintegrates on impact. Your hands fumble blindly for his face, fingers shaking, needing to see his eyes.
"Please, Aaron.” It’s an exhale, a prayer. “Need you."
You see the ripple of tension along his throat. And for one tiny, blinding second you think this is when he finally snaps, abandons his tolerance and just takes you.
"You don't know how long I've wanted you like this," he rumbles. "I'm going to take my time."
You whine, frustration bleeding from your fingertips where they clutch his shoulders, fingers digging in like you can physically push him into moving faster.
He does not move faster. 
His hands slide up to the straps of your dress, as he drags it down with all the urgency of a leisurely Sunday stroll. 
Your mind is halfway through an exceptionally justified complaint about how slow he is moving when he folds the dress.
Folds it.
Sets it aside. Doesn't toss it.
And that may be the hottest thing he's ever done.
Because you know he knows. He’s always known. Known that your things aren’t just things — that your dresses, your heels, your overpriced lip glosses aren’t frivolous, aren’t some shallow indulgence, but tiny, curated pieces of you.
He has listened to you decide between two pairs of shoes that are, for all intent and purposes, identical. He knows jasmine is mysterious and vanilla is flirty, knows that you’ll debate your right to own the same three shades of pink. 
And instead of dismissing it, instead of rolling his eyes (though he does that too), he folds your dress. As if it matters.
You stare at him, somewhere between melting and spontaneous combustion, and he simply raises a brow. “Something wrong?”
"No." You shake your head for emphasis, voice a little too weak to get the point across. "Just thinking I might have to marry you."
His hands settle at your waist, fingers tracing over the pink lace like he’s trying to process it, like if he touches it enough times, it’ll confirm that this is actually happening and not some cruel illusion. His thumb brushes the scalloped edge, breathing shallow. You were pretty sure he’s currently having a full-scale existential meltdown over lingerie.
"Agreed," he murmurs, distracted, hooded eyes still glued to your chest. "I think the courthouse opens at eight."
Your giggle stutters, hiccups right out of you, because his hands are suddenly everywhere, roaming with no clear plan, just a man in crisis over how much of you he wants to touch first. His palms skate over your stomach, down your thighs, up over your breasts.
"So, this is all I had to do to convince you to do what I want?"
His mouth follows, retracting the path of his hands, rewriting, reworking, perfecting – because apparently, the first time wasn’t good enough, wasn’t thorough enough. 
"You think this is what did it for me?" His voice is hushed. "You could've walked into my office six months ago and told me to get on one knee.” A kiss, open-mouthed, starving, just below your navel. “I would've done it."
Six months ago. You don't know if you believed that.
Except now you're spiraling, backtracking, rewinding, piecing together little details like some lovesick conspiracy theorist with red string and a bulletin board. Every interaction, every loaded glance, every time he let you get away with high-level flirtation without so much as a blink. You thought you were testing him, but what if he was never fighting at all?
And before you can even recover from that, before you can file an official grievance about why no one told you sooner, his hands squeeze at your thighs, his mouth so close to exactly where you need him, and his voice —
"You're so beautiful."
His nose presses into the damp center of your panties, and your hands fly to his hair so fast it’s practically reflex, breath stalling in your chest like your body forgot how to function for a second. 
This is everything. What you've wanted, dreamed of, written in the margins of notebooks (hypothetically, of course).
It should be perfect, but suddenly, it isn't.
Uncertainty slips between the cracks, heat turning into something less solid. You don’t have time to find it, to name it, because he’s already there, already sensing it, already fixing it before you even know what’s wrong.
"Hey." His voice hooks into you, gently reeling you back from wherever your brain was about to go. "We don't have to do anything you're not ready for."
"No, I—," The words come out far too fast and desperate, and you can't decipher why it's so hard to say. "I do want to. Obviously." The nervous laugh that follows is definitely not your usual flirty confidence. "Have you met yourself? Because if you haven't, I would love to introduce you. Tall, devastatingly handsome — you'd love him."
His move curves, but his eyes stay patient and focused, giving you a second to breathe.
"It's just..." Another pause, another frustrated sigh. "I haven't been with anyone in a while."
"That's okay, we can take it slow." He moves so that he's hovering above you again, brushing a strand of hair out of your face, his smile just amused enough to leave you flustered. "How long?"
"May."
"May?"
"Yeah, like, May. Three years ago."
Aaron just stares at you, processing. You can see the gears turning, the little mental loading wheel spinning, his expression caught between stunned and deeply interested.
His fingers creep up, sliding under your ribs, just close enough to the heavy swell of your tits to remind you exactly where you are. What he was doing to you before you so rudely derailed this into actual conversation.
"Really?"
You pinch his arm. "Hey! That is not an absurd amount of time."
"No. I know. I didn’t say that," he says quickly. "I'm just... surprised."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
His lips part and he immediately shakes his head, exhaling like he's physically trying to dispel what just ran through your mind, knowing exactly where your thoughts were.
"I just mean — I don't know how every man you meet doesn't immediately worship the ground you walk on."
"Oh, well, they do." You smile. "But I was only ever planning on letting one of them take me to bed."
You reach for his dress shirt buttons, tugging insistently, but your hands refuse to cooperate, not properly communicating with your brain.
It's his fault, you decide.
He looks too good, and it was extremely hard to focus on anything but that.
You have no idea how you survived dinner. Or the car ride home. Or even the eternity it took to get past the door, because that was definitely a struggle considering your mouth was all over his, tasting the whiskey he’d barely touched, before he could even get the key in the lock.
You spent all night picturing this, the way his hands would feel in you, the way his mouth would taste, the way his suit would look crumpled on the floor.
Which, in hindsight, probably meant you were a pretty terrible dinner guest. Nodding, smiling, pretending to listen, all while barely holding back the need to ride him in public.
Aaron laughs, clearly entertained by your struggle, and then, because he’s nothing if not arrogant, he starts undoing the buttons one-handed, to be a show-off.
It’s rude, really. Because now all you can do is watch, helpless as he peels himself open to reveal golden skin, dark hair dusting over firm pecs, trailing lower, disappearing beneath his belt. 
Your manicured fingers glide over the broad expanse of his shoulders, pushing his shirt away like uncovering some lost Renaissance painting that scholars would kill to get their hands on — something that should be in a temperature-controlled glass case, not just here, sprawled above you like he belongs to you. Which, he does, because he’s just letting you do this, letting you look. And you look. He is art. No, better than art. Art is stationary, lifeless, some brushstroke interpretation of what beauty should be. But this, him, he is warmth and breath and muscle.
Museums wish they had something this valuable. They’d burn down in despair if they knew he existed just for you.
"May," he muses, letting the word roll off his tongue, turning it over in his mind. "That's an oddly specific answer."
You make a vague sound of agreement, mostly just to acknowledge that yes, technically, he did say words, but you’re too busy to actually care. Too busy with spreading your hands over the planes of his chest, with grabbing at his belt.
"You were hired in May three years ago."
Your hands freeze. 
"That's... um weird." A slow blink. "Weird that you know that. Weirder that you noticed."
You work his belt loose, tugging it free. It’s meant to be a distraction, a well-placed touch to shift his focus from his revelation.
But then your plan backfires spectacularly because he’s hard, thick, unreasonably big and suddenly your fingers feel useless.
Aaron makes a sound — half a hiss, half a laugh — and his hands snap to your wrist, catching you before you can explore further, like he knew you were going to do that. "It’s okay, honey."
"I—I don't—," You blink up at him, floundering, desperately trying to sound casual. "That's, uh, I don't know what that's supposed to mean."
Aaron’s smirk deepens, his grip on you slackening just enough to trick you into thinking he’s going to be nice.
But then his other hand moves, slipping between your bodies, sliding beneath the heat trapped between your thighs, finding the neediest part of you, and pressing.
Your whole body jerks, a startled gasp catching in your throat as sensation flares — hot, sharp, mercilessly good.
His fingers start to move, rubbing tight circles against you. Your hands cling, one locked onto his bare shoulders, the other pressing against his dick, desperate to make him feel even a fraction of what he's doing to you.
It earns you a groan, low and gritty, hips twitching against your palm, his breath is hot against your lips, his mouth hovering just barely out of reach.
"I won't tease," he promises, but the way he bites at your bottom lip feels like a lie. His tongue is quick to follow, flicking over the welt he’s just left, soothing the burn before sealing it with a kiss, just this side of messy. “Three years… that’s a long time.” His lips skim yours again. “For both of us.”
A pleased sound bubbles up from your throat, slipping between his lips, that makes it obnoxiously clear just how much you love those words. That is a sentence you’d like embroidered on a pillow. Maybe cross-stitched into a nice, elegant frame for your future shared bedroom. 
"Oh," you sigh, a smile stretching against his lips. "I really, really, like knowing that. That's, like, incredible news."
Your brows scrunch, and you pull back just an inch. 
"Just to be clear, though, you do mean in a wow, you've ruined me for other women way, and not in a I've been to busy for a sex life way, right? Because those are two different things, and I need to know which one we're working with here—"
Aaron huffs a laugh and instead of answering with words, his hands slip into your panties, fingers finding your clit without prelude. Skin to skin now, no fabric, no flimsy barrier. Just touch.
His fingers dip lower, dragging through the slick, indecent in how easily he moves through the mess of you. He makes a noise — nearly a groan, mostly a hum of appreciation, of possession — before he spreads it, smearing your own arousal over your clit, rolling circles.
"Oh, wow, sweetheart."
Your thighs fall open like you have no say in it — because you don’t, because every instinct in you is reaching for him, needing it like a fix.
And maybe, maybe that should be embarrassing — the obvious, shameless way you seek him out — but it’s a gorgeous kind of humiliation, a flush that spreads lower.
"Well," you gasp, chest rising in stuttering little pants. "Y—you kept me waiting forever."
Aaron hushes you with a soft tsk, his fingers pressing, stroking, coaxing you into sweet, mindless submission. Every movement feels preordained, like he already knows your body, like he’s a man who’s spent years thinking about this.
"I know, sweetheart," he soothes, murmuring it against the fragile skin beneath your ear, punctuating it with a kiss. "But I think I'm making up for lost time pretty well."
"I guess," you manage. "Th—that's acceptable."
Aaron chuckles, the vibration traveling straight into your skin. His lips descend, an idolization thing, but it’s the kind of devotion that sets you on fire.
His hands spread over your thighs, parting them gently.
Your underwear drags down, slipping over your thighs, grazing the curve of your knees, and then off. And suddenly, there's nothing separating you from his eyes, from the way the air licks over you, cool against the sticky heat between your thighs.
His lips part like he wasn't expecting to fall apart so easily. Like he thought he'd have more time, more control. And the power in it, the sheer, intoxicating power of knowing he's just as affected as you are, that this is breaking him open, makes your skin fizz, burn, ache for him even more.
If someone had told you a year ago that Aaron Hotchner, mister all-business-all-the-time, would be between your legs, staring at you like he's never seen anything more perfect, you would have said something nonsensical. Something about fate. Or destiny.
And you would have been right. Because you always knew this was a definite.
"Oh, honey.... You're gorgeous," It's almost a whisper, like the words were dragged out of him against his will, stolen straight from his lungs the second his eyes landed on you. His gaze drinks you in, head tilting, lips parting, tongue skating over the swell of his bottom lip. “I knew you would be, but…”
A sharp, sizzling spark races up your spine, white-hot and unbearable, but when it should tip over into relief, it withers into frustration. The kind that makes your body revolt against the absence of touch. Your hips buck, thighs squeezing as if you can somehow force the friction you’re being deprived of.
"Give me a second, baby," he teases, caressing his nose along the inside of your thigh. "Just wanna look at you."
His mouth moves in decadent passes, open-mouthed kisses pressed into your inner thigh.
Another kiss. Then another. So close.
Then he detours. Veers off, pressing his lips into the dip of your hip instead, dragging his tongue along something that is not your clit.
"So perfect."
His fingers prod through your folds, parting you, fingertips wading through the slickness pooling at your entrance. The sound that spills from him is sinful.
All of your muscles coiling tight, every inch of you scorching with unmet need and just when you think you're going to have to beg him, just when the words start to form —
He gives in. 
His tongue is there first, dragging a flat, broad stripe through your center, licking over every hypersensitive inch of you before looking up at you through hooded eyes. You swear you nearly come from the sight alone.
"Knew you'd be sweet."
Aaron doesn't waste another second, burying himself in you, mouth moving like he's been ravenous for this. 
His grip is firm as he spreads you wider, keeping you at his mercy. His lips wrap around your clit for a split second before he moves again, tasing, licking, humming, lapping up everything you're giving him.
It's messy. Wet. Dripping. His mouth moves as he tries to wreck himself on you. Each second convincing you that he wouldn’t mind suffocating here if it meant another taste.
His nose nudges against you, the angle so cruelly perfect it sends another violent tremor through your body, legs jumping against his shoulders. Your fingers grasp blindly for purchase, gripping the sheets, tangling in his hair, at anything you can reach. 
"That's it, sweetheart," he murmurs into you, words muffled by your pussy. "Let me hear you."
"Oh — " The sound falls from your lips, your eyes squeezing shut like you can block out the overwhelming pleasure if you just try hard enough.  "Oh, that's — "
Your hips stutter, thighs tightening around his face.
Aaron chuckles darkly, and you feel it more than you hear it, the sound pulsing through your core.
You’re not sure you have a body anymore, not sure you exist outside of this moment. You’re just sensation, just trembling atoms held together only by his hands, his breath, his voice. There’s no past or future – just now, just him.
If this is what it means to transcend, to be unraveled and rewritten in the same breath, then let it consume you whole. You could die like this, and it would be the kindest death you could ever ask for.
A single finger ghosts over your entrance, teasing but never quite committing. He dips in, just the barest of intrusion, and you shudder, clenching around nothing because it’s gone just as fast. 
He waits, just long enough to hear the next breathy fussing before finally spearing back in. Your eyes flutter shut, breath breaking apart in little puffs.
The sounds coming from your cunt should embarrass you, sticky, so shockingly loud that if your brain was working, you’d be mortified. But it’s not working. Not even a little. 
His hand flattens over your stomach and suddenly the pressure doubles, triples.
"Tell me, baby," he murmurs, "feels good, doesn't it?"
"Yes, yes, oh my gods, Aaron, I—"
Your normal senses have left the building. Packed its bags, hit the road, abandoned you to whatever dark magic this is. Because this —this isn’t how your body works. This isn’t how guys work. You don’t come from this. 
But here you are, hurtling toward it at full speed and all because he decided you would.
It’s happening too fast, the pressure stacking. Your thighs shake open, stomach clenching so hard it aches. Your mind is lagging behind, still reeling, still trying to rationalize but it doesn’t matter because your body has already made its choice, has already given in, has already decided this is happening, whether you’re ready for it or not.
"Aaron, I think—,"
Aaron just groans, finishing your sentence for you, lapping up your confession with his tongue,
"I know, baby." Hot air blows against your swollen clit. "Let me feel it."
It crashes over you, back bowing off the bed. Your body splinters apart, thighs trembling so hard you couldn’t stop them if you tried. The edges of your vision smear into nothing as the pleasure consumes everything in its path. 
His mouth stays on you, tongue and fingers pushing you through the aftershocks until you’re clawing at the sheets, until that pleasure tilts so far into oversensitivity that makes you unaware if you’re pulling him closer or pushing him away.
Your limbs feel like liquid, consolidating into every inch of your body, melting into the mattress as Aaron moves to be face to face with you.
He's looking at you like he's the only thing keeping you tethered to this planet, and maybe he is, because when his lips get close enough, you tug him the rest of the way down, crashing your mouth into his in a way that's all sloppy desperation.
You can taste yourself on him, can feel the way he groans into it when you sigh against his mouth, all soft and dreamy and drunk on gratification. 
When you pull back, your fingers card through his hair, fixing nothing but feeling everything.
"Oh my gosh," you gasp, dissolving into giggles, toes curling as you flop back against the pillows. "I knew you'd be good at that, obviously, but I wasn't expecting all that. Like wow, you should get a certificate of excellence or something."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," you sigh dramatically, "Or like, a trophy, a raise, a sash that says best head giver in gold letters—," You pause for a breath, sucking in air like you just realized how winded you are.
"— and I mean, I've never come like that before. So. You should probably put that on your résumé."
When Aaron presses against you, you feel every inch of him. Thick and unfortunately still restrained. His slacks are a cruel barrier, the rough drag of the fabric catching your clit in a way that rips a whimper straight from your throat.
His teeth scrape along your jaw, then he's mouthing at your neck, sucking, teasing, marking you.
"Firstly," he murmurs. "I hate the idea of anyone else touching you."
An involuntary shiver rolls through you.
"And secondly," he continues, "the fact that they didn't even know how."
Your hands are frantic as they fly to his waistband, fumbling a bit, the last hindrance between you offensive in its existence. 
"Well, yeah," you sigh, looking up at him through fluttering lashes, glossy lips parted just for him. "I mean, you're literally the only one who's ever known what to do with me. That has to mean something, right? Like, cosmic destiny or whatever."
Aaron shoves his pants and briefs off, barely sparing them a second thought, and then he's back, fitted between your thighs.
"You already know the answer to that." His lips brush your temple. "I'm the only one who knows how to handle you. And I plan on proving it."
"Yeah, okay," you say, squirming beneath him. "Not gonna argue when that sounds like the best idea ever."
You've seen a lot of versions of Aaron. You've seen work Aaron, serious and bossy, looking at crime scenes like he can hear the evidence whispering just to him. You've seen grumpy Aaron, glaring over his coffee when you talk too much at morning briefings (but you know he likes it, he just won't say). You've seen soft Aaron, the one who lets you steal his jacket even though you definitely don't need it.
But you've never seen this Aaron. This post-kissing-you Aaron. Lips slick, still damp with you, evidence of where he’s been, what he’s done.
His eyes flick to yours, and there’s no shame, no rush to wipe it away. If anything, he tilts his head, letting you see it from a better angle.
"You're so handsome, Aaron." Your voice trembles. You don't even know if you said it out loud or just thought it so hard he must have heard it anyway.
"And you,” he murmurs, tracing his thumb over your cheek, “are so damn sweet, honey."
You beam at that, overwhelmed, so unbelievably happy that your thoughts are practically spilling out faster than you can catch them.
"Okay so I just need to say — this is so exciting, like, you do realize I've had a crush on you for years, right? And now this is actually happening, and that's just — wow."
You suck in a sharp breath, nails dragging over the thick muscles of his arms, across his shoulders.
"I mean, it's us, Aaron. Can you believe that? Like, I feel like this has been building for so long and now I'm just — gods, you're so hot, this is actually distracting me. I can't even finish my own thought —,"
You laugh, because you already feel so full of him and he isn't even inside you yet.
"And I know you're being all careful and slow because you're sweet and romantic and, like, the most perfect man alive, but also —,"
You grind up, chasing friction, his cock sliding just right over your clit. Your breath stutters, hands fisting at the nape of his neck as you try to remember what you were saying.
" — I'm literally at your mercy right now, so you should probably take advantage of that before I —,"
"You talk so much, baby."
And then he shuts you up. Hard.
His mouth rams into yours, ingesting the comment, the breath, everything.
He doesn't rush. 
The head of his cock nudges at your entrance before he finally, slowly, pushes inside.
It knocks the breath from your lungs. Your mouth parts against his, lips catching on his as a little sigh slips out. Your nails dig into his shoulders, helpless against the way he's opening you up. 
He stills, a sharp, fractured inhale slicing through the air, fingers digging into your hips — hard. He is struggling. You can feel it. The way his cock twitches inside you, like his body is screaming at him to move.
"I-I'm good." Your laugh wobbles, catches at the edges, barely disguising how badly you want him to believe you. "You can keep going."
"You're tensing because it's been a while." You don't mean to, but your body reacts before your brain can tell it not to, stiffening. Stupid, stupid. His exhale is shaky, and his lips press against your cheek. "I know that. I expected that."
You swallow, but it doesn't help.
"I also know that you think if I notice, I'll stop." His forehead rests against yours. "But I need you to hear me, baby. I'm not stopping."
His lips graze yours.
"I'm going to work you through this. Just let me in, princess."
And the second you do, the second you finally give in —
He groans, pushing deeper, stretching you completely, filling you to the hilt. 
"There we go," he breathes, wrecked with praise. His hand presses to your lower belly, feeling how deep he is, how well you take him. "That's my good girl."
Your head tilts back, lips parting, body doing the melty thing that feels really, really nice but also really, really dangerous because you swear you're seconds away from levitating straight out of your own skin.
"Okay, so I did think this would feel good —," Your fingers twitch against his chest, nails raking lightly over sweat-damp skin as another sharp moan tumbles free. "— but, um, wow, this is like — this is so —,"
Your words taper off, get lost somewhere between your psyche and your mouth, because oh. Oh, wow. He's so deep, so heavy inside you, pressing into places you didn't even know existed.
"Go on, baby," he murmurs, a smirk plastered across handsome features as he dips his head. "You were saying?"
"You know," you gasp, words all flimsy and loose, like they've been shaken up inside you, "I kinda always wondered how big you were —"
Your breath hooks halfway through, hiccups on a moan, brain scrambling to keep up with your mouth, your mouth scrambling to keep up with — him.
"Not that I, um — I stared at your pants or anything —" Another sharp inhale, another desperate moan, your walls fluctuating and squeezing around something too thick. "I mean, I try not to because I'm a professional —"
An involuntary clench makes him curse, makes his fingers dip into your hips, makes his head plunge forward hard against your shoulder.
"Honey, shit—,"
Your lashes flutter. "What?"
"Sweetheart, if you keep squeezing me like that while you ramble about my cock, I'm not going to last."
Your mouth clicks shut promptly.
"That's what I thought."
Hotch rocks his hips, just once, a sharp gasp fissuring from your lips like you weren't expecting it. 
"Jesus, sweetheart. You're trembling." He cups your cheek, his thumb skimming over your bottom lip, eyes dark and aflame. "Does it feel that good?"
You nod, and he hums, dragging his cock almost all the way out before pushing back in. 
His hand drags down your waist, spans over your belly, fingers pressing like he's charting the way he fits inside you.
"I used to tell myself I wouldn't do this," he admits. "That I wouldn't touch you. Wouldn't ruin you like this."
Your head lolls back, eyes fluttering, lips parted prettily, gasping as he rocks into you again, and again, and again. You shake your head, or at least, you think you do.
"You don't —" You try to shape words, but they liquefy on your tongue. "Don't ruin me, Aaron, you — oh, you make me —"
Hotch's throat bobs, his pupils blown.
"You make me so, so good, so soft, so perfect."
His hand cups your jaw. "You're already all of those things, sweetheart."
"Not before you," you sigh. "I've been waiting so long, Aaron, so, so long —"
"I know, baby," he groans. "I know."
His hand veers between your bodies, his fingers finding the swollen, neglected bundle of nerves.
“Aaron — oh, wait, wait, wait —,” Your hands shoot up to his shoulders. “I don’t know if I can, I mean, I can, but it’s just —,”
His cock throbs inside you, his rhythm stuttering for half a second before he finds it again, harder this time, his fingers matching the pace.
“Too much?”
“Yes, no, kind of? I don’t know, I can’t—,” You choke on your own breath as another thrust knocks every last rumination from your head. “I can’t think.”
“Good.” His forehead presses against yours, his lips parting against your mouth, panting, his control slipping. “I don’t want you thinking. Just feel me, sweetheart. Feel what I’m doing to you.”
Your body is shaking, shaking so hard that you don’t even know if you’re moving or if he’s just pushing you through it. 
“I know, baby. But you can take it, can’t you?”
“Y-Yeah,” you stutter, body twitching. 
“That’s my girl,” he praises, groaning as he grinds into you, stretching it. “One more, honey. You can give me one more.”
It hits you slowly, unwinding through your organs like smelted honey.
“Oh, oh —,” Your breath falters, mind going blank, the pleasure overwhelming every nerve in your body until you can’t do anything but let it consume you.
“Christ,” he groans, feeling you clench around him so tight it nearly undoes him.
You barely register the way you’re gasping, twitching, babbling out breathless little moans, vision blurring, and for a second you think you might black out.
“That’s it, princess,” he rasps, fucking you through it the reverberations. “So, so good for me.”
His pace turns shallow, sharp, chasing the tight, perfect squeezing of you still thrashing around him.
“You’re so tight, honey,” he grits, hands bruising your hips, your breath still catching from your own orgasm.
You’re too gone to respond, too wrung out to do anything but whimper as he takes you, using your body to pull himself over the edge.
He groans, low and deep, his fingers tangling in your hair, his mouth ghosting over your cheek as he finally breaks.
A shudder, a muttered curse, his body jerking, hips slamming into yours as he spills inside you.
He doesn’t mean to collapse, you know that, because even as his body gives out, his arms brace, still trying to be careful, even now. You want to cling to him, lock your legs around his waist, but you barely remember how to move, so you just let out a sleepy sound, nuzzling blindly at his throat. 
He murmurs something low, something that sounds like praise, maybe worship.
His lips press to the side of your face, half-gone and still recovering, and then his muscles tense, trying to lift himself off you.
Your arms wind around his neck before he can get too far. 
“Sweetheart,” he rasps, “I’m crushing you.”
“Don’t care,” you mumble, voice a little hoarse. “Feels nice.”
“You did so good.”
When he finally pulls out, you feel the loss and everything that comes with it, his release sticky and warm beneath your thighs. 
Aaron disappears into the bathroom, and you barely have time to miss him before he’s back with a warm cloth in hand.
You giggle, squirming before he even touches you, already restless, and the second he presses the cloth to your inner thighs, you jerk, laughing helplessly.
“Oh, wait —,”
Aaron sighs, one hand pressing against your hip to keep you still. “Sweetheart. You have to let me clean you up”
“But it tickles—,”
He smirks and continues his work. “How do you feel?”
“Like I saw god actually,” you ramble, kicking your feet against the sheets. “Or, like, like, if I had to describe it, I’d say I transcended reality for a little bit —,”
Aaron just chuckles, pressing a kiss to your knee as he finishes cleaning you up. Each swipe reminds you that your legs might not be on speaking terms with you tomorrow.
When he’s done his mouth finds yours again. It’s easy to kiss him. If it were physically possible to stay attached to him, twenty-four hours a day, you’d gladly test the theory.
“Worth the wait,” he breathes into your mouth.
“Well, yeah,” you murmur, smirking up at him. “I figured it would be for you.”
He laughs.
“Yeah, baby, you were good,” he mutters, kissing right over your stuttering pulse. “You were so good.” Another kiss. “So good I’m already thinking about the next time.”
Your heart hasn’t even slowed down, and you’re already thinking about the next time. Already plotting, already ready to drag him back down and see just how quickly that next time could turn into right now. But before you can so much as tug at him — Aaron is rolling out of bed, pulling on his pants, disappearing into the kitchen.
You mean to protest, to demand why he left you alone in a post-bliss haze, but then he’s back, pressing a glass of water into your hand, watching you drink it like it’s his personal responsibility.
Then comes food, something light and something he feeds you between kisses, between lazy murmurs about nothing. 
At some point, the blankets are back over you, his lips pressing against your forehead, his voice saying something about getting some sleep before you got any ideas, before pulling you against him.
You hum, content and drowsy, shifting a little, rolling over to get more comfortable —
And then your eyes land on that photo frame from earlier. You had a clear view of it now.
It was you.
It takes you a second to place it, but once you do, you almost laugh. You know this photo — because Garcia took it. She printed it out months ago, probably as some ridiculous gag, and stuck it to Aaron’s office wall with a bright sticky note that read your favorite obviously. You’d rolled your eyes at the time, called it workplace favoritism, but he’d never taken it down. 
And now, somehow, it’s framed. On his nightstand, like he’s been looking at you every night for —
You don’t finish the thought.
Instead, you just smile, huge and uncontrollable.
He doesn’t say anything.
And you don’t need him to.
Because you already know.
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💌 masterlist taglist has been disbanned! if you want to get updates about my writings follow and turn notifications on for my account strictly for reblogging my works! @mariasreblogs
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astonmartinii · 1 month ago
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Sex and the City, chapter one: monte carlo meet-whoops | formula one social media au
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pairing: 2025 f1 grid x fem columnist reader
never mix worth with pleasure… or maybe do, but expect it to trip you up at the worst moments
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
note: drivers are not in a relationship unless explicitly stated in this universe
SEX AND THE CITY: WE’RE GOING TO MONTE CARLO…
by y/n y/ln
Despite moving to Monte Carlo a number of years ago, I have never ventured to the Monaco Grand Prix. Perhaps it’s been short-sighted as a sex columnist to forgo the event on the European social calendar where everyone who is anyone is there -
But fear not, I intend to rectify these mistakes!
The past couple of years I have found myself on the other side of the pond at this crucial stretch of the year and have missed out on high society and the opportunity to explore them, I mean it…
The world of Formula One is fast and doesn’t often wait for those standing around. But I want to know, do they fall in love as fast as they drive?
I had a dalliance with a Formula One driver when I first moved to the Principality. Honey Badger had a big smile and a big personality and that’s not where the big theme finished. Maybe his life on track taught him to make the most of opportunities, or maybe handling something as sensitive as a Formula One car gave him an eye for technique…
In Formula One, most if not all drivers will tell you that finishing first is the only way to finish the weekend. But outside of the car, Honey Badger wholly rebuked this notion. Where he would gladly sacrifice a teammate or screw over a friend on track, off track he was the most generous partner I have ever had.
But I couldn’t help but think… are all drivers this generous? Or does a life jet-setting across the continents leave you with a hefty salary and even bigger commitment issues?
I never wanted anything serious with Honey Badger, but I don’t think it would’ve been an option if even I wanted to. Formula One drivers, in my experience, are attached to their careers while they still have them and don’t have time for things as trivial as long-term relationships - especially if you’re not willing to live life in the paddock with them.
So ladies, this weekend in the jewel of Southern France, don’t get your heart broken looking for the one on track, but let them show you what it’s like to live life in the fast lane.
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 304,871 others
yourusername: guess who is finally at home for the monaco grand prix? this little lady right here! you can read my column on the place to be this weekend on my website and in The Times (in whatever country you’re in) xxx
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user1: yes! i’ve been waiting for this one
user2: oh if only i could afford to go to monaco
user3: how i feel after reading any of y/n’s columns
user4: that should be me by justin on repeat
user5: i always wonder how she affords all of this
user6: maybe she’s yachting? she’s at all the events where it happens
yourusername: i have never yachted and i don’t intend to, sorry to burst your bubble!
user7: okay queen but the math ain’t mathing
yourusername: my money is between me and my accountant not random people on instagram
yukitsunoda0511: oh so when you said you had a fling with a daniel i might know you meant my LITERAL TEAMMATE DANIEL RICCIARDO?
yourusername: you know i’ve never been good with last names?
yukitsunoda0511: ‘hey a daniel you might know is featuring in my next column, just so you’re ready’ is not clear enough
yourusername: you should know me by now little sous chef
yukitsunoda0511: i should but you continue to shock me every time
yourusername: i’m taking that as a compliment
user8: i’m sorry she slept with DANIEL RICCIARDO ???
user9: and confirmed he is PACKING
user10: the way she says she doesn’t know anything about f1 but has slept with one of the most iconic drivers
user11: and lowkey shaded him? ‘attached to their careers while they have them’?
user12: she lowkey didn’t lie
danielricciardo: a cameo in sex and the city… you flatter me
yourusername: oh please, honey badger. you always knew your feature was coming at some point
danielricciardo: enjoy the race, i promise it’s usually more exciting
danielricciardo: and if you’re open to recently retired drivers let me know
user13: HOW DOES SHE HAVE THIS MUCH GAME WITHOUT TRYING?
user14: read the column girl and you’ll know
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The thing is, they really weren’t lying when they said that Monaco is the jewel of the F1 season… everyone is dressed to the nines in brands as difficult to say as they are to purchase and you can’t go two ft without being offered yet another flute of champagne.
I am aware this is nothing to complain about, but by midday on Friday, it was hampering my ability to act like a normal person and my vision, which was 20/20 last time I checked. I know it’s bad because there’s no way the man I had affectionately dubbed Glastonbury was walking towards me in a quite garish orange race suit.
In a cute and aloof way, Glastonbury does just as vicious a double take as I and trips over his feet. He looks up at me. At first I think he’s happy to see me, but then something else flickers across his face. Maybe he was snapping himself back into action, maybe I had seen a flash of jealousy or maybe the champagne was doing more damage than expected…
I was wholly unaware Glastonbury was a Formula One driver… his physique had always been impressive but based on how many times I had been ushered out of his apartment for a padel session ‘with the boys’, what else was I supposed to expect?
I thought back to my column before the weekend, could he seriously be jealous over my involvement with Honey Badger? That had been dead in the water for a long time, but maybe the flirting in Instagram comments had been a bit much - but, hey! When you have as good a time as I have with Honey Badger, you don’t quite block yourself from a return there…
estebanocon
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liked by yourusername, landonorris and 295,603 others
tagged: yourusername & flavybarla
estebanocon: bring your weird friend to work day today in monaco
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user16: just how many of these bitches does she know?
user17: LMAO the way it’s all coming out this weekend
user18: she’s honestly living her best life and i love that for her
yourusername: weird??? i think you mean unsettling but a hell of a fun time
estebanocon: that’s one way to put it
flavybarla: he loves you really, he’s just still shocked about who honey badger is…
estebanocon: you slept with my teammate and didn’t tell me!!!
yourusername: i don’t think he was your teammate at the time?
estebanocon: wait when did it happen
yourusername: all i know it was summertime in 2021, he had won a race and begged to do a shoey out of my red bottoms (and then a lot else)
flavybarla: slay?
estebanocon: well that was really my fault for asking
user19: new fantasy unlocked?
user20: now i know where all the good dick is going…
user21: for real she should share more
kimiantonelli: @yourusername is esteban the ‘great friend of mine, eiffel, who lives in switzerland and has a girlfriend too beautiful for words’?
yourusername: you got me!
user22: you’re telling me she’s friends with all these guys and didn’t know they were all f1 drivers?
yourusername: of course i knew kimi and esteban were f1 drivers… the rest not so much
kimiantonelli: she’s not even lying lol
yourusername: i’m never in monaco for the race and i’m not really a sports girl, unless you count the met gala!
user23: based on my expert deduction skills… if esteban is eiffel… is mick ‘baby blonde’ who showed her how to make a trip to the swiss countryside exciting?
yourusername: i should’ve never come to this damn race, there’s going to be no mystery left at this point
user24: SHE’S ALSO GOTTEN WITH MICK SCHUMACHER
user25: i’m about to go to prison for life on jealousy charges
user26: are the drivers not offended by her writing about their sex lives in her column, seems a bit trashy, no?
mickschumacher: not if you get a good review ;)
user27: OMFG
user28: i need a full system reboot
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 412,954 others
tagged: lando, estebanocon, mickschumacher & maxverstappen1
yourusername: putting the sass in sass cafe xx
view all comments
user29: if she gets with lando, it might be the end of me
user30: after daniel and mick, surely not
user31: i think they’re all grown adults who can do whatever they want
user32: acting all high and mighty as if we wouldn’t want to do the exact same
maxverstappen1: you promised that photo wouldn’t see the light of day
yourusername: i’m so sorry to say that, i don’t care
yourusername: you look cunty !
maxverstappen1: i look evil
yourusername: same thing
maxverstappen1: as long as it doesn’t end up in sex and the city
yourusername: you wouldn’t even know, pretty boy
user33: world’s first ever natural born flirt
user34: i feel like she has an innate need to flirt
yourusername: you wouldn’t be wrong
user35: we love a self aware queen
lando: i do not remember this being taken
yourusername: i don’t think you remember most of last night
lando: that’s omnious
yourusername: that’s a big word
lando: i googled it just for you
yourusername: oh how can I ever repay you?
user36: is it illegal for her not to have chemistry with someone
user37: it’s not chemistry, it’s desperation
user38: found the delusional lando fan
user39: deadass why would he go there knowing she’s already been passed around the grid
user40: two retired/out of the sport drivers over like five years is not mental
user41: also it’s y/n y/ln, she’s smart, a great writer, beautiful and annoyingly funny ???
olliebearman: sex and the city feature when?
yourusername: when you do something other than throw up on my designer shoes… the week’s edition is much cuter
olliebearman: i’m sorry?
Sunday night of the Monaco Grand Prix is talk of legend. The masses of rich busy bodies, socialites and influencers are packed like sardines in Sass or Jimmyz, each looking to get lucky with someone equally as influential as them.
The night was somewhat strange, I didn’t know if it was the text exchange with Glastonbury that had put me off kilter or the daytime champagne that had transitioned to evening cosmopolitans.
Had I assumed he would be like all of the other Formula One drivers? Not all athletes are the same, I thought I of all people would understand that by now… Glastonbury seems to have a sensitive side - I thought it had been part of the aftercare act, but now I’m not so sure.
He seemed so shocked to learn he’s not the only one, but I had seen his text logs, the thong left in the washing basket and the women’s skincare in the bathroom. Maybe they’re not fast to fall in love but fast to jump to conclusions, fast to stake some sort of superficial claim…
Does Glastonbury harbour actual feelings for me? Or has the revelation that he was not the first or only Formula One driver to grace my bed ignited a competition he believes are feelings?
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SEX AND THE CITY: THE BEAUTY OF A MEET-WHOOPS
by y/n y/ln
When you live in a big city you can forget how small the world truly is. The busiest weekend of the year in the Principality, and here I am running into flings… in the pit lane of all places.
I thought that with Glastonbury, a lovely boy my age and from the somewhat pretentious village, our relationship was rudimentary and purely physical - but there, in the pit lane, there were flickers of butterflies in my stomach.
Was this an unsafe release or was I ready to confront a man who looks like he wants to sign me to a multi-year contract? Formula One puns aside, had a meet-whoops kicked our relationship into second gear?
What is a meet-whoops, you ask? You might better know their cousin, the meet-cute. This is where two people meet in particularly cute or romantic circumstances, see: your dogs are playing together at the park and the leashes get tangled ending in canine-enforced proximity, etc.
A meet-whoops? Well, it’s meeting a romantic interest accidentally. Meredith Gray meeting McDreamy at work after sleeping with him, unaware of who he was, springs to mind. The meeting being accidental almost makes it better, the feelings are raw and unexpected.
But I couldn’t help but think, are these feelings for Glastonbury genuine or just virtue of the meet-whoops? How would I feel about Glastonbury the next time I see him? The next time I can’t help but snoop through his cupboards and am confronted by life and girls before meeting me?
Meet-whoops are beautiful things, but am I ready to settle down? Can I see myself racing in one colour for the foreseeable future, or are there circuits I still want to race before I retire?
So, I guess what I’m trying to say is, ladies and gentlemen, don’t be fooled by the novelty of the meet-whoops, dig deeper and confront whether you’re on the right strategy: are you looking to do the overtake now because it’s there or will you play the long game, nurture your tyres and cross the line first later on?
fin.
note: can you tell i'm rewatching sex and the city??? i hope you enjoyed... it can go a lot of places so let me know who you might want to see... also i hope you like the nicknames some of the drivers have been given - trust i have the whole list !
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itsswritten · 1 year ago
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wings
Pairing: Azriel x fem reader, IC (platonic) x reader
Word Count: 3.1K
Warnings: 18+, smut, P in V, lots of fluff
Summary: Who would've thought that your found family would be so captivated by your hidden wings? As they reminisce about their first glimpses of your ethereal secret, you realise just how cherished and adored you truly are.
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Wings Universe - More from this world.
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"I distinctly remember," Mor began, her voice filled with excitement, drawing not only your attention from the comforting cocoon of Azriel's arms, but also the rooms. She sat opposite you, a slight mischief twinkling in her eyes as she leaned forward.
You were all nestled in one of the many living rooms at the House of Wind. 
Under the flickering faelight, you sat beside Azriel– your mate. His large presence ever the comfort, as he enveloped you in his arms. His fingers, tracing intricate patterns through your hair, each touch sending ripples of relaxation through your body. 
If it weren't for the loudness of your friends and family, their remarks not failing to echo through the room, Azriel’s touch alone could have lulled you into a blissful slumber. 
"It was a surprise for sure," Feyre chimed in, a playful smirk dancing across her lips as she glanced over at your slightly confused expression. Sensing your distraction, Azriel reluctantly released his hold on you, joining the conversation with a gentle touch of his hand settling on the small of your back.
"My experience was quite a shock," Cassian added with a grin.
“Mine, I have to say is one I’d like to forget” Rhys grimaced as Feyre gave him an annoyed knowing look.
Amren, rolled her eyes at her family's theatrics. "You all make such a big deal out of everything," she remarked, her tone dry.
Your brows furrowed as you pieced together the fragments of the conversation, realisation dawning as Mor's words began to paint a vivid picture.
The topic of discussion? The first time they laid eyes on your beautiful wings.
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Mor, Feyre and Nesta.
It was one of Feyre’s first nights out since welcoming Nyx into the world; she’d been dying for a night off. Craving the simple joys of the company of her girlfriends. Sensing her desperation for a night to let loose, you, Mor, and Nesta had taken it upon yourselves to orchestrate the perfect girls night out for your High Lady.
The night quickly unfolded into a flurry of laughter and dancing. Drinks were spilled, songs were sung. Rita’s being your chosen sanctuary for the night. You all let yourselves get lost in the music and infectious energy of the bar. Drinks were flowing freely, and the hours quickly slipped away like grains of sand in an hourglass.
It wasn’t until the sun had started to rise again that you all quickly realised you needed to get home. You’re not sure how in their drunken states, but Mor and Feyre had successfully managed to winnow you all back to River House, all collapsing in a giggling heap in the foyer.
A fit of laughter overtook the group as you stumbled and pushed, trying to untangle yourselves from one another. You managed to push yourself onto unsteady feet, only to trip over Nesta’s dress and stumble back onto Mor. With your balance faltering, a shimmer of magic danced through the air as your wings burst forth, a kaleidoscope of iridescent pink hues unfurling into the air. Your wings, delicate and light, burst with specs of fairy dust that glowed around you.
The room fell silent, the trio frozen in awe at the sight before them. Then, like a spell breaking, laughter bubbled forth, filling the space with joyous echoes. Mor's eyes sparkled with delight as she pulled you into an embrace, Feyre's lips curled into a grin, and even Nesta couldn't help but crack a smile.
"You sneaky thing," Mor teased, reaching out to brush her fingers against the delicate wings "Keeping such beauty hidden away."
“I bet Azriel loves keeping this side of you to himself,” Nesta purred, her voice laced with mischief as something provocative glinted in her eyes.
You responded with a playful stick-out of your tongue at Nesta, before turning your attention to Mor and Feyre, who were now a pair of mesmerised females, giggling like children as they reached out to touch this new part of their friend they had never seen before.
They had always known you had wings, from the type of fae you were, but you had always kept them hidden and they never dared to ask for you to reveal them.
"Hands off!" you exclaimed, your voice a blend of amusement and mock outrage as you swatted and smacked at their approaching fingers, the sound of laughter echoing through the halls.
Of course, they respectfully obeyed your wishes, but there was a warmth that filled their chests as you all stumbled arms wrapped around one another through the house, enjoying a new part of their friend that had been revealed.
 𓇢𓆸
Cassian.
Cassian's mischievous streak knew no bounds, especially when it came to playing pranks on you. He found something undeniably endearing about your reactions, and there was a certain satisfaction when he knew these teasing antics could also annoy Azriel too. 
On this particular day, you were busy in the kitchen, practising a cake recipe that Elain had shared with you. Determined to make the perfect cake for Azriel's upcoming birthday, you meticulously measured ingredients, oblivious to the looming presence of your giant friend.
Cassian's eyes twinkled with mischief as he saw his chance to play. With careful grace, he approached, holding his breath before unleashing his voice.
"BOO!" His voice boomed across the room, his figure looming over you with a triumphant grin.
Startled, you spun around in a flurry of flour, heart racing in your chest at the sudden noise. And then, in a moment of surprise, your magic wavered, and your wings unfurled in a burst of ethereal light.
The room fell silent as Cassian's eyes widened in disbelief, laughter fading into awe at the sight before him. "What in the Cauldron," he breathed, barely a whisper, his finger pointing at the delicate appendage. "What are those?"
You fluttered your wings away, annoyance evident in your voice as you retaliated with a playful toss of flour in his direction. "Cassian!" you exclaimed.
"YOU HAVE WINGS!" Cassian's excitement was palpable, his grin spreading from ear to ear.
"Of course I have wings, I'm a fairy," you retorted, arms outstretched in exasperation.
“AZRIEL…YOUR MATE HAS WINGS” he screamed knowing his vibrating voice would find his brother.
Azriel materialised from the shadows, concern evident in his eyes as he approached, brushing away the flour that had settled on your face. His expression shifted to admiration as he took in the sight of your wings shimmering behind you.
"Stop tormenting my mate, Cass," Azriel scolded gently, his protective instincts kicking in as he pulled you into a soft embrace, his lips pressing to the top of your head.
"She has wings!" Cassian exclaimed once more, disbelief colouring his tone. There was a touch of annoyance, as he realised he may have been the only one to not know this about you.
Cassian, like a moth attracted to a light, reached his giant hand out again wanting to get close to the wings that were so unlike his own.
"No touching" Azriel growled, his tone leaving no room for argument. Cassian withdrew his hand, a hint of disappointment flickering across his features as he chewed his lip in an attempt to avoid pouting.
"So does this mean... we can go flying together?" Cassian asked as the revelation came to his mind, excitement bubbling in his voice.
Your brow quirked slightly, a playful glint dancing in your eyes as a small smirk tugged at your lips. Cassian watched you carefully, anticipation written across his features, while Azriel pulled away knowingly.
You nodded slowly, a challenge evident in your gaze. "I’ll race ya," you declared, a thrill of excitement coursing through your veins.
With that, you pushed past Cassian and darted out of the room, your wings fluttering gracefully as you made your way to the nearest balcony. Without hesitation, you leaped off the edge and into the open air, the wind rushing past you as you soared into the night sky.
Cassian was quick to follow, a grin spreading across his face as he embraced the exhilarating freedom of flight. And not far behind him, Azriel joined the fray, his own wings beating with a steady rhythm as he soared through the air.
Together, you three took to the skies, weaving and darting through the night sky.
 𓇢𓆸
Rhys and Nyx.
“And stretch them out…That’s it my boy” Rhys spoke proudly as he watched his son in front of him stretch and extend his wings.
You had found yourself in the company of one of Rhys’ flying lessons, nestled on one of the chaise lounges on the balcony, a book in hand as you half-read, half-watched your High Lord teaching his son how to use his wings.
Nyx, though perhaps still a little too young to fly, was eager to learn. So desperate to be like his father and uncles. With Rhys' guidance, he tentatively stretched out his wings, mimicking his father's movements under the watchful gaze of the night sky.
Rhys, a picture of fatherly pride, stood by Nyx's side, his attention unwavering—until a sudden commotion from inside drew his focus for just a fleeting moment. In that brief lapse of attention, the sudden gust of wind caught Nyx and his perfectly poised wings off guard, sending him teetering towards the edge, a gasp escaping his lips.
Instinct surged through you like a bolt of lightning as your wings burst forth in a flurry of motion, carrying you across the expanse with a grace honed over centuries. With swift precision, you swooped in, catching Nyx in your embrace just as he hovered on the brink of danger.
Wide-eyed and breathless, Nyx looked up at you in awe, his innocent admiration pulling at the strings of your heart. "Pwetty," he murmured, his wonder mirrored in the glow of your own wings, illuminated by the moonlight.
You wasted no time in safely landing back onto the balcony, Rhys rushing to your side with bewilderment and shock etched on his features as a torrent of thank-yous spilled from his lips.
As Nyx pawed at your wings, you carefully fluttered them away from his reach, mindful of their delicate nature. Rhys, after the scare of what had just happened, or almost happened. Took a moment to truly appreciate the sight of your wings— beautiful and light, shimmering a pink glow that was a stark contrast to his own.
His relief was short-lived, however, as it became apparent that Feyre had witnessed the entire ordeal. With a swift scolding, she whisked Nyx from your arms, sending you a silent 'thank you' before retreating inside, cradling her son protectively.
"No flying lessons with Daddy from now on," Feyre scolded directly at her mate before she cooed at her son again. "What would we have done if Auntie Y/N hadn't been here?" she mused aloud, her words lingering in the night air.
Rhys glanced over at you, questions swirling in his head at how you had so quickly been there to rescue their son from danger. 
"They may be more delicate than your wings, but I am quicker, swifter, and more agile than you big Illyrian babies will ever be," you teased lightly, your words carrying a hint of playfulness.
"Thank the Cauldron you are," Rhys breathed with a soft smile, his eyes reflecting the depths of his gratitude. You gently patted his shoulder before ushering him inside.
 𓇢𓆸
Azriel.
“Gods you are beautiful” Azriel groaned, sweat beading down his temple as he looked at you. Your own eyes fluttering shut in pleasure as you continued to ride your mate.
You had both finally and officially accepted the mating bond, preparing Azriel’s favourite meal as a gesture of your acceptance. He had eagerly devoured the food, the golden thread connecting you both deeper and stronger than you ever thought possible.
You had felt his emotion rippling towards you that night. There was a sense of overwhelming gratitude, a deep-seated appreciation for finally having someone who understood him in ways no one else ever could. There was a feeling of relief, as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, knowing that he had found someone who truly accepted him for who he was.
But above all, there was a profound sense of belonging—a feeling of being chosen, not just as a lover, but as a partner, a confidant, a soulmate.
As the night progressed, things escalated quickly. Your bodies entwined in a passionate frenzy. Finally, after months of yearning and longing, you found yourselves in each other's arms.
You straddled him, your breasts flushed against his hard chest, in an unbreakable embrace as his hands tightly gripped your lower back, moving with you as you rode out a dance of pleasure. His large wings stretched behind him, twitching slightly as a sign of his impending release.
"You feel so perfect, angel," he purred against your neck, peppering it with soft kisses before pulling away to watch your face.
Your features were contorted in a mix of pleasure and desire, moans escaping from your lips as you steadily climbed towards climax. His rhythm became deeper and more intense, bringing you closer to the edge.
"Azriel..." you moaned out his name, throwing your head back and arching your body as ecstasy coursed through you. 
“That’s it my love, that’s it…”
Azriel’s words got stuck in this throat as he watched you reach the peak of bliss, the air around you suddenly seemed to shimmer and a soft ethereal light enveloped your beings. Azriel's eyes widened in awe at the magnificent sight before him. Glowing iridescent wings sprouted from your back, their delicate pink hues dancing in the dim light of your chamber. They fluttered gently, casting a mesmerising glow that bathed both of you in a radiant aura of magic.
Filled with wonder and awe, he was sent over the edge, his own release filling you as he held the most ethereal being in his arms. 
"So beautiful..." Azriel breathed out, almost in disbelief as he couldn't fathom how you could be any more breathtaking than you already were. 
Your wings twitched and fluttered as you rode out the waves of pleasure, the intensity of the moment slowly subsiding as you rested your forehead against Azriel's, your breaths mingling in the intimate space between you. A blush crept across your cheeks as you realised what you had just revealed to him in your most vulnerable and intimate moment. The soft glow of your wings gradually settled, the dust they had created floating gently around the room like stardust.
"Azriel... I..." you began, your voice barely a whisper, emotions swirling within you like a tempest.
But before you could find the words to express the depth of your feelings, Azriel's firm yet gentle voice cut through the air, his eyes flickering with warmth and adoration as he spoke.
"Let me say it first," he insisted, his arms tightening around you in a comforting embrace. "You are my guiding light in the darkness, my entire soul's devotion...I..- I love you."
Your wings, now settled and slightly slumped with the weight of the moment, trembled at his words, the warmth in your chest swelling with each syllable he uttered. Tears welled in your eyes, reflecting the tear that had already spilled from Azriel's.
"I love you, Azriel," you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. "I am yours forever, in this life and the next."
Your lips found one another again, bodies and souls intertwining under the soft glow of your wings.
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As your friends reminisced about the first time they saw your wings, Azriel, ever the gentleman, only vaguely danced around his recollection. He shared that it had been when you accepted the mating bond for him. The vague blush that covered your cheeks was enough to dissuade further inquiry from your friends.
"Am I the only one who didn't realise you had wings?" Cassian asked incredulously, only to be met with a pillow thrown by Mor.
"You really need to brush up on your Fae race history and anatomy if you didn’t know she had wings" she teased, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.
"I can’t believe it all had to be so dramatic though," Amren remarked. "I simply asked her to show me the first week we met, and she obliged."
You smiled nervously at Amren's confession, feeling the weight of your friends' stares.
"So you're saying we could have just asked all this time?" Feyre exclaimed.
You chuckled sheepishly. "I only hide them because they’re delicate... and you guys can be, well…"
"We can be what?" Mor's gaze teased as she leaned in closer.
Instinctively, you moved closer to Azriel for protection, but he seemed to find humour in the situation.
"Clumsy... not always spatially aware," you admitted with a sheepish grin.
"Is that so?" Cassian drawled, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he glanced at Mor.
"Show us your wings then," Nesta declared bluntly, slightly frustrated that Amren had gotten one up on her by simply asking you.
"No," you replied firmly, not wanting to suddenly bend to their will.
Cassian and Mor exchanged a knowing look, a mischievous plan forming between them. Without warning, they both lunged at you, their playful attack catching you off guard.
You cried out for Azriel's help, but to your dismay, he seemed to be thoroughly entertained by the spectacle unfolding before him. Cassian's firm grip on your wrists pulled you closer to him, while Mor's embrace from behind left you feeling both trapped and ticklish.
"Not spatially aware, huh?" Mor teased, her fingers jabbing playfully at your waist, eliciting a cascade of laughter from you.
Your please for assistance only seemed to amuse Azriel further, his smirk betraying the mischief dancing in his eyes. 
“I’m sorry, my love,” he chuckled, his voice laced with mirth. “But the outcome of this is one you know I love seeing.”
Your friends playful assault only continued, your giggles filling the room. And in the midst of it all, your wings unfurled, revealing the delicate, pink membranes that had been the topic of conversation for the past hour.
They fluttered from your back, casting a glowing aura across the room and around you. They resembled delicate petals kissed by the soft hues of dawn, shimmering an iridescent pink that mesmerised anyone who laid eyes on them. 
“There she is…” Azriel murmered under his breath. A fond smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He could feel the pride filling his chest as he watched you, gazing at your beautiful wings in all their ethereal glory.
But it wasn’t just your mate gazing at your with love.
No, your family found themselves grinning ear to ear, looking at you with admiration as they watched you glow.
A glow they were forever grateful for.
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a/n: not really my best work, but just some loveliness for you all to read! It was an idea I came up with that I instantly dumped on @illyrianbitch (as I always do) and she thought it was a sweet enough idea to write, so here it isssss!! Enjoy my loves <3
Hopefully will resume series writing soon - Lottie x
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ikeu05 · 25 days ago
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𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 。 i love you because when i say i don't wanna talk you always call me
synopsis when yn starts dating her sweet, perfect boyfriend sunghoon, she doesn’t expect to fall for his annoyingly charming best friend, jay. between hallway run-ins, forbidden feelings, and a very confusing party confession, what started as bickering turns into everything they were both afraid to want. It’s messy, it’s complicated—but it might just be real.
pairing jay x fem!reader x sunghoon
genre love triangle (kinda), angst!!!, fluff here and there
word count 14.8k (who am i :3)
warnings implications of cheating (i am very against this, i do NOT induce cheating), small smut scene [unprotected sex (please don't do!!!!), piv], crying, reader is very confused about everything, happy ending <3
nessie note this was so random, sprung outta nowhere but it had been in the drafts for quite sometime now and i figure.... why not :p also i would like to apologise in advance about the smut scene. very evidently, i have no experience writing them so sorry if it's cringe or wtv.. hope y'all like the rest of it hehehe. also ness is her bff and flatmate in this just like how i am ur bff wink wink
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sunghoon was yn’s complex neighbour—the kind you didn’t notice until you did, and then couldn’t stop noticing. he lived across the hall from her and ness, in an apartment shared with three other boys, jay, heeseung and jungwon. ness always had a way of describing people that stuck, and she labelled sunghoon as “a little airheaded, unconventionally smart, and just a hot loser.” and honestly, she wasn’t wrong. he was the type to walk into a room looking for his phone while it was already in his hand, but then turn around and say something so surprisingly profound that it made you do a double take. his mind worked in weird ways—ways that made no sense until they did.
yn never really thought much of him at first. he was just the boy who wore mismatched socks, left his laundry out for too long, and somehow managed to ace his physics exams despite never showing up to class. but something changed. maybe it was the way they started seeing each other more and more, casually at first—shared elevator rides, overlapping grocery runs, late-night knock-knock visits with leftover fries or missing chargers.
and then there were the hangouts.
every time the six of them—yn, ness, sunghoon, jay, heeseung and jungwon—ended up in the same room, she found herself gravitating toward him. somehow, by the end of the night, she and sunghoon would be in their own little bubble. laughing at a dumb meme only they found funny. debating whether cereal counted as soup. sharing glances across the table when someone said something ridiculous. it wasn’t intentional—it just kept happening.
sometimes he’d say things like, “i think time’s fake,” with a completely straight face, and then try to prove it with a whiteboard and a banana. sometimes he’d sit beside her, head leaning against the back of the couch, talking about parallel universes while trying not to fall asleep mid-sentence. and she’d just look at him, equal parts amused and curious, wondering how someone so ridiculous could be so weirdly endearing.
one evening, they were all piled into the guy’s living room for a movie night. jungwon had fallen asleep twenty minutes in, ness was loudly narrating her opinions from the kitchen, and jay kept skipping scenes he found boring. somewhere in the middle of all the chaos, sunghoon leaned over to whisper a dumb joke into yn’s ear. she laughed, trying to keep quiet, and he smiled like he’d been waiting for that reaction all day. she didn’t notice how close they were sitting until their shoulders brushed and he didn’t move away.
later that night, when she got back to her own apartment, she realized her cheeks still hurt from smiling too much. and that was when it hit her—maybe she’d started thinking about him a lot more than she thought.
maybe sunghoon wasn’t just the hot loser across the hall anymore.
maybe he was something else. something that made her heartbeat do stupid things.
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it wasn’t long before they started dating. after knowing each other for about seven months—seven whole months of dumb jokes, inside memes, late-night texts, shared playlists, and those almost-but-not-quite lingering touches—something finally gave in. and of course, sunghoon had to ask her out in a way only he could. something ridiculous. something oddly sweet. something that left her speechless.
it all began at a party hosted by their college mutual friend jake—the hotshot. the party guy. the kind of boy who wore sunglasses indoors and had a playlist for every type of chaotic situation. it was a massive, noisy, glow-stick-ridden mess in the best way, and yn had agreed to go with the whole group. it sounded fun. a good distraction. she needed that.
because before the party, she’d admitted to ness—after one too many nights spent refreshing sunghoon’s chat—that she needed to get her mind off him. “he doesn’t see me like that,” she had mumbled into a throw pillow. “he’s probably just friendly with everyone. maybe i imagined the whole ‘thing’.”
ness, bless her soul, took it as a mission. “say less,” she’d grinned, dragging yn to her closet. “tonight, you’re getting over hot loser boy. we’re drinking. we’re flirting. we are not crying over weirdly poetic physics majors.”
and so, the night began—yn dressed a little braver than usual, eyes lined in confidence she didn’t feel yet, and a fake smile plastered on as she sipped on her first shot. ness kept her busy—introducing her to new people, pushing her into silly games, dragging her to dance floors. and it worked, for a while. she wasn’t looking at the door every few minutes. she wasn’t hoping he’d come talk to her. she wasn’t thinking about—
except she was. and he did come.
sunghoon showed up late, like always, with jungwon trailing behind and jay already a little drunk on arrival. and when his eyes found her in the crowd, they softened instantly. he smiled, like she was a favourite song he hadn’t heard in a while. but the moment he stepped forward, ness blocked his path with a look. a subtle shake of the head.
he got the hint. he kept his distance.
she hated it.
even through the chaos of the party, their eyes met sometimes. quiet moments in a loud room. he looked like he wanted to talk to her—desperately—but he didn’t. maybe he thought she didn’t want to. maybe he was trying to give her space. either way, she felt everything and nothing all at once.
later, during a game of spin the bottle, they sat in a circle, tipsy and flushed. the bottle spun, clinked against a few glasses, and landed on sunghoon… and some random girl. everyone whooped. the girl leaned forward with a smirk.
but sunghoon shook his head, laughing softly. “i’ll pass.”
“no way! c’mon!” someone whined.
he just shrugged, eyes flicking once—quickly—towards yn. “not really feeling it.”
she bit her lip, barely hiding her smile. her chest felt too tight, too light.
then it was her turn. she spun, not really thinking. it landed on jake.
“wooooo!” people shouted. “get it!”
jake raised an eyebrow, grinning. “hey, no pressure, but i am an excellent kisser.”
yn laughed, nerves buzzing through her. she always thought jake was attractive in a loud, attention-demanding kind of way—but he wasn’t really her type. still… maybe this would help. maybe kissing someone else would finally rip sunghoon from her thoughts.
she stood up, slowly moving toward jake.
and then—
“hey,” a voice said, soft, right beside her. “do you… really wanna kiss jake?”
sunghoon.
he stood between them, eyes gentle but serious, his voice low enough that only she could hear it.
she blinked at him, heart in her throat. the alcohol and the heat and the sheer stupidity of it all made her bolder than usual. “no,” she said, barely above a whisper. “i wanna kiss you.”
so she did.
right there, in front of everyone. she kissed him. his hands found her waist like they’d been waiting for this moment forever, and everything around them blurred. but the second it ended, panic bloomed.
“oh my god,” she gasped, eyes wide, suddenly all too aware. “i—” and then she bolted.
out of the party. down the street. all the way back to their apartment complex, barefoot heels in hand.
ness chased her down in a cab, shouting out the window, “you’re so fast for a drunk person, i swear to god!”
yn avoided him after that. for days.
she couldn’t handle the conversation. what if he regretted it? what if it was just a kiss to him? what if she ruined everything? every time she heard his voice across the hall, she ducked into her room. when the boys came over to borrow sugar or wifi or ask about missing laundry, she pretended to be asleep. it was childish. but she was terrified.
until one afternoon, she finally found the courage. she walked across the hall and knocked.
the door swung open.
sunghoon stood there, in nothing but an apron.
flour streaked his collarbones, smudged across his cheekbone and dusted in his hair. he looked startled for a second, then grinned sheepishly.
“hey,” he said. “i was just, um… baking.”
she stared. “are you… naked under that?”
“i mean… technically, yes. but it’s a long apron.”
“sunghoon—”
“i was making donuts,” he added quickly. “to ask you out properly. because you said you like donuts. and i wanted to make it… you know. cute.”
something in her chest finally eased. she let out a breathy laugh, stepping inside. “you don’t hate me?”
“what? no!” he blinked. “i thought you were avoiding me because you regretted it.”
she covered her face, groaning. “oh my god. we’re idiots.”
“well, yeah,” he said, stepping closer. “but you kissed me. and then you ran away. which was, like… very cinderella of you.”
“i panicked,” she mumbled. “i didn’t think you actually—”
he didn’t let her finish. he just pulled her in by the waist, arms wrapping around her, flour and all. “so,” he murmured, looking down at her. “wanna date a dumbass who bakes naked and wears a ‘fuck the cook’ apron?”
she laughed, cheeks burning. “i mean… if that dumbass is you…”
he kissed her.
flour smeared across her cheek, the smell of vanilla and sugar hanging between them, the forgotten donuts cooling on the kitchen counter. somewhere between the kiss and the laughter, his apron slipped slightly off his shoulder.
let’s just say… the donuts weren’t the only thing getting devoured that evening.
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it had been three months since the kiss, the donut proposal, and the flour-dusted beginning of whatever she and sunghoon had become—and things were good. like, genuinely good. easy in the way you hope relationships will be when they start. sunghoon was still his chaotic, apron-wearing self, the kind of boyfriend who brought her weird snacks from the convenience store just because they “reminded him of her” (???), and who left her notes like “don’t forget to eat or i will cry and you’ll be responsible for emotional damage” stuck to her laptop.
they weren’t perfect—he forgot their coffee dates, she got impatient with his dreamy tangents—but they worked.
until jay happened.
jay was sunghoon’s annoying best friend. nothing more, nothing less. at least that’s how yn had always seen him—loud, cocky, with a grin that could either charm or irritate depending on the day. she had tolerated him purely because of sunghoon, her boyfriend of four months now. jay was always around—he lived across the hall with sunghoon, part of that never-ending trio of chaotic energy, plus jungwon.
she’d met jay the same day she met sunghoon, almost a year ago now. he had always been there, lurking in the background of her life like a sarcastic shadow. bickering with her from day one, making snarky remarks across the hall, stealing her charger when she wasn’t looking. it was like his full-time job was to get under her skin and she had never let him win. if he rolled his eyes at her, she rolled hers harder. if he made a joke, she made a better one. their entire relationship was based on mutual annoyance and a shared love for one-upping each other.
especially in stats class.
god, stats class.
they sat on opposite ends of the second row, both refusing to give up their assigned unofficial seats. every test, every assignment, every stupid little pop quiz was a personal challenge. “who got the highest this time?” was not a casual question—it was war.
“enjoy that 92 while it lasts,” she smirked one day, tossing her test on his desk.
jay raised an eyebrow. “enjoy being second place, yn. it suits you.”
“your ego doesn’t.”
“yeah, but my gpa does.”
she hated how smug he looked when he said that.
but she hated even more how cute he looked when he got flustered.
because jay—annoying, sharp-tongued, infuriating jay—had these moments. tiny, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moments where the sarcasm dropped. when he picked up her pen without a word. when he brought her coffee once before class because “you looked like death and i figured your boyfriend’s probably too busy thinking about time travel to remember caffeine.” when she accidentally let slip she was stressed about her internship interview and he—without looking at her—slid a printed prep sheet across the desk with a grumbled “don’t screw it up. you’re my only real competition.”
moments like that threw her off. always had. because he didn’t stay sweet. he’d say something nice and then immediately ruin it by saying something like “i miss when you were failing stats. you were quieter back then.”
and she’d pretend to hate him all over again.
but lately… lately it was like he was everywhere.
she saw him more than she used to. ran into him at the cafeteria when she was sure he had a different break slot. bumped into him at the library when she swore she was alone. he was behind her in lines, next to her in labs, texting her things like “your boyfriend microwaved a spoon again. come collect your man.”
and when they bickered now, it felt… different. quicker. sharper. almost funnier. like there was a rhythm to it, a beat she couldn’t stop syncing to.
“you’re really annoying today,” she told him one afternoon, pushing past him in the hallway.
“thanks,” he replied smoothly. “it’s a skill i’ve refined over years. just for you.”
she paused, staring at him. “do you practice these lines or do they just fall out of your mouth like stupidity?”
jay smirked. “you tell me, yn. you’re the one who keeps listening.”
and the worst part?
she was listening. she always did.
she was starting to see him more. not just as the annoying boy who lived with her boyfriend, but—unfortunately—as someone she noticed in ways she didn’t want to admit. someone whose presence filled more space than it should. someone who wasn’t sunghoon, but who still made her heart skip, even if it was only out of irritation. (or so she told herself.)
it was like the universe kept shoving him into her orbit, over and over again, like it was trying to tell her something. and maybe she was too afraid to admit what that something could be.
because everything was good with sunghoon. wasn’t it?
so then why the hell was jay everywhere all of a sudden?
and why did it feel like she was starting to like it?
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it was well past midnight when yn finally gave in to the itch crawling under her skin. her room felt suffocating, her thoughts louder than her playlist, and even sunghoon’s goodnight text hadn’t calmed her nerves. the silence had become too much. she needed air, and not the kind that came from an open window.
“let’s go on a drive,” she mumbled, sitting up suddenly. ness, who was half-asleep on the floor next to her with her phone pressed to her cheek, blinked up in confusion.
“now?”
“yes. like, now now. i need to get out of here. i’m going crazy.”
ness yawned and stretched, already reaching for her hoodie. “fine. but you’re buying me fries or i’m turning this car around.”
the hallway outside their flat was dim, the yellow ceiling light flickering like something out of a horror movie. yn tiptoed ahead, hoodie pulled over her head, keys in hand. just as they rounded the corner to the main door, yn halted in her tracks so suddenly that ness almost bumped into her.
“shit. jay.”
“what?” ness whispered back, blinking.
yn pushed her forward without a word, ducking behind the half-open door of the utility room next to the stairs. ness was too confused to protest, stumbling out into full view like a deer caught in headlights.
and there he was—jay. dressed in grey sweatpants and a navy oversized t-shirt, hair still damp like he’d just taken a shower, casually walking down the hallway with a garbage bag in one hand. he paused when he saw her.
“where you headed?” he asked, voice low but curious, a slight smirk playing on his lips.
ness smiled awkwardly, trying to keep things casual. “just… stepping out. needed a change of air.”
jay raised an eyebrow. “at 12:30 a.m.?”
“i like the stars,” she shrugged, internally praying he wouldn’t look too closely. “they hit better at night.”
he glanced past her, his eyes narrowing slightly like something didn’t sit right. “you alone?”
“yeah. solo vibes,” she nodded quickly.
and then—of course—yn’s phone rang. for exactly one millisecond. the notification barely echoed before she silenced it, but it was too late.
jay’s head tilted slowly. that ringtone. he knew it. he’d changed it himself once when she left her phone unattended at a group movie night last semester—“spaghetti western gun draw”—as a joke. she never changed it back.
“solo vibes, huh?” he asked again, but now he was smirking. “tell her next time to at least mute her phone before hiding.”
ness let out a sigh of defeat, facepalming. “god, you’re so annoying.”
he stepped past her slightly, not peeking around the corner but clearly amused. “how’d her stats paper go, by the way?” he asked casually. “tell her i said good job. that presentation she did last week was lowkey impressive.”
ness narrowed her eyes. “why do you even know that?”
jay shrugged. “i pay attention sometimes.”
“go throw your trash and mind your business.”
jay gave a little mock salute, backing away with a grin. “night, ness. night, yn.” he didn’t even need to look. he just knew.
once he was out of earshot, yn stepped out, groaning as she smacked her forehead lightly. “he knew.”
ness gave her a deadpan look. “yeah, no shit. this is why i said let me drive alone and you can meet me downstairs.”
“but you’re a horrible liar.”
“and you’re a horrible hider.”
they walked toward the elevator, yn pulling her hood tighter. her heart was still racing—not because of the close call, but because of the way jay had said good job. because he noticed. and remembered. and for some reason, that meant too much.
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the city was quieter than usual. the streets stretched out in long, empty lines, dotted with the occasional blinking yellow signal and the hum of streetlamps. the air smelled like wet concrete and jasmine from someone’s nearby garden. yn drove with one hand on the wheel, the other fiddling with the car’s stereo until it landed on a mellow playlist—soft indie, just loud enough to fill the silence.
ness had her feet up on the dashboard, sipping from the iced coffee they picked up from the all-night drive-thru. they’d barely been on the road ten minutes when she finally said it.
“i’m just gonna say it.”
yn glanced sideways. “say what?”
“i think jay likes you.”
the words hit like a stone skipping across a calm lake, each ripple sharper than the last.
she scoffed, too fast. “what? no. no, he doesn’t.”
ness didn’t even blink. “he so does.”
“don’t be ridiculous.”
“you’re telling me it was a coincidence that he recognized your ringtone in a millisecond, complimented your stats presentation unprompted, and looked directly at the wall you were hiding behind?”
yn exhaled through her nose, gripping the steering wheel tighter. “he’s just being… jay.”
“exactly,” ness said smugly. “jay, who makes fun of everyone else equally, but never forgets your coffee order. jay, who teases you, but never crosses a line. jay, who somehow remembers your exam schedule but doesn’t know what day it is half the time.”
yn stayed silent, her eyes fixed on the road.
ness leaned closer, watching her carefully now. “you haven’t denied it convincingly even once, by the way.”
“i have.”
“nope. you’re all blushy and twitchy. you’re practically glowing like a ‘crush detected’ siren.”
“i don’t like him.”
“right.”
“i don’t,” she repeated, but her voice cracked halfway, which only made ness laugh.
and in that moment—between the streetlights flashing across her face and the quiet hum of the song playing—ness saw it. the way yn’s expression faltered. how her mouth opened slightly, like she was about to say something and then thought better of it. the way her eyes clouded, like she was trying too hard to convince herself.
“oh my god,” ness whispered. “you like him too.”
yn didn’t answer. she just bit the inside of her cheek and kept driving.
ness leaned back in her seat, letting out a dramatic sigh. “this is insane. you’re dating sunghoon.”
“i know,” yn said quietly, her fingers tightening again on the steering wheel. “i know.”
and the car went quiet again, only the music filling the air between them—soft, aching, and way too honest.
they ended up at a tucked-away little café on the far side of town, one of those late-night gems with fairy lights draped across the windows and mismatched furniture that somehow made everything feel more intimate. the barista barely batted an eye at the two girls walking in at nearly 2 a.m.—this place seemed to cater specifically to the restless and heart-heavy.
they sat near the window, nursing hot mochas and splitting a flaky almond croissant and a warm cinnamon roll between them. the silence was heavier now, not uncomfortable, but loaded. ness was staring at her, chewing slowly.
“what,” yn said, not looking up from her pastry.
“just thinking.”
“stop thinking.”
“i can’t.”
yn gave her a look, but ness just pushed her plate away and leaned on her elbows.
“okay, i’m doing this. pros and cons.”
“no.”
“too bad. we’re doing it.” she held up a finger. “pro—jay makes you smile when you don’t even want to.”
“can we not—”
“con—you’re dating sunghoon. obviously. big, fat con.”
yn groaned, resting her forehead on the table.
“pro,” ness continued, “jay actually listens to you. remembers things. supports your tiny wins like they’re world records. he’s annoying, but he’s there. he’s present.”
yn sat back up slowly, face drawn.
“con,” ness said, quieter now, “sunghoon’s your boyfriend. he treats you well. he’s sweet. stable. you’d hurt him.”
yn didn’t say anything.
“pro,” ness added, “jay… i don’t know, he challenges you. he keeps you on your toes. you light up when you talk back to him. like you enjoy the chaos.”
“that’s not a pro,” yn muttered, staring into her cup. “that’s a problem.”
ness chuckled, but it faded quickly when she saw the look on her friend’s face—eyebrows drawn, lips pressed tight, fingers tapping nervously against the ceramic cup.
“yn.”
“i don’t want this,” yn whispered, almost more to herself than ness. “i don’t want to feel anything. i want to be happy with sunghoon. i am happy. i think.”
ness didn’t press, just nodded slowly.
“but when jay looks at me…” yn’s voice broke a little. “it feels like my chest is going to split open.”
the café was quiet except for the soft jazz playing through the overhead speakers and the occasional clink of dishes being washed behind the counter. outside, the street was still and empty, the world asleep while yn’s own thoughts screamed too loud to ignore.
ness reached over, her hand covering hers gently. “you don’t have to figure it all out tonight. but you do need to stop lying to yourself.”
yn nodded, swallowing hard, unsure whether the ache in her throat was from guilt, confusion, or something far more dangerous—hope.
somewhere between the fourth existential thought and the last sip of her mocha, yn sat back in her chair and declared, “i need to get drunk.”
ness blinked. “here? now?”
“right now,” she nodded, deadly serious. “i’m done thinking. no more boys, no more feelings, no more jay, no more ‘who-do-i-even-like’—i just want to not feel anything for a few hours.”
and that’s how they ended up at the shady little 7/11 a block down, giggling through the fluorescent aisles, grabbing way more bottles of soju than necessary—green bottles clinking in a tote bag, some spicy chips thrown in for chaos. by 2:45 am, they were sitting at a quiet crossroad at the edge of town, where traffic lights blinked uselessly over an empty street and the wind carried the faint sound of a dog barking in the distance. they sat on the curb like a pair of drunk philosophers, legs sprawled out, faces flushed from laughter and alcohol.
“this is freedom,” yn mumbled, holding a half-empty bottle above her head. “this is girlhood.”
ness laughed so hard she almost dropped her own bottle. “girlhood is being heartbroken over a boy you don’t even want to like.”
“girlhood is betrayal in a crop top.”
“girlhood is lying to your sweet, perfect boyfriend while lowkey obsessing over his best friend!”
they burst into cackles, so loud it echoed down the street. yn wiped tears from her eyes, lying back on the warm asphalt, staring at the starless night.
meanwhile, back in their apartment complex, jay was pacing around his room, thumb hovering over his phone. he had texted ness over an hour ago:
jay: u guys back?
no reply. nothing since they left. which was weird, because ness never ignored him. but he reasoned she’d probably just fallen asleep. maybe yn was venting and they were up late talking. or maybe she was crying, he suddenly thought, anxiety tugging at the edge of his chest.
he shook it off. it wasn’t his place. sunghoon was probably with her—wait, no. sunghoon had gone to bed early, he remembered. so… where the hell were they?
jay sat back on his bed, brows furrowed, phone still glowing in his hand.
across town, yn was balancing her bottle on her chest, staring at the red blinking streetlight.
“do you think the light’s judging us?” she asked seriously.
ness nodded. “definitely. red for stop being dumb bitches.”
“too late.”
they clinked bottles weakly in agreement, two tiny specks of chaos in the middle of a sleeping city, unaware of the ripple their absence was already starting to cause.
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the sky was bleeding into soft shades of blue and lavender, the night slowly surrendering to dawn. the crossroad was still quiet, the only sound now the distant chirping of birds waking up and the occasional hum of a delivery bike speeding through empty lanes.
ness was curled up beside a lamppost, hoodie pulled over her head, a half-finished chip packet cradled to her chest like a comfort blanket. yn sat cross-legged on the curb, eyes burning from lack of sleep, head spinning not just from the alcohol but from the weight of the morning hitting her too fast.
“we can’t drive back,” she said blankly, her voice hoarse.
“nope,” ness croaked. “we’ll die. we’ll literally die.”
they both sat in silence, dazed and miserable.
“options?” ness asked after a beat.
yn pulled out her phone. “sunghoon?” she mumbled, but even saying his name made her wince. “i can’t. he thinks i’m at home. in bed. safe.”
“heeseung?”
“do you want to die slower?”
ness snorted. “jungwon would bring us home but would also give us a thirty-slide presentation on our stupidity.”
yn groaned.
they stared at each other. both came to the same conclusion. “jay.”
ness sighed. “we’re horrible people.”
“yup.”
ness dialed slowly, clearing her throat as it rang. the line picked up after the third ring.
“where are you?” she asked, trying to sound casual.
“jogging. near new flyover. why?” jay’s voice was low, but alert.
“cool. cool cool. so… um. can you jog a little bit further? like, to the big crossroad near that one old bakery place? it’s urgent.”
jay paused. “ness, what the hell? are you okay?”
“yeah—well. no. but not, like, hospital-level bad. just… come. please.”
“is yn with you?”
she hesitated for a beat. “yeah.”
there was a beat of silence.
“i’m coming.”
fifteen minutes later, jay came jogging up the slope, his black tank top clinging to his torso, chest rising and falling as sweat glistened over his skin in the gold of sunrise. his hair was slightly tousled, and his brow furrowed in confusion as he spotted them slumped together on the sidewalk like abandoned chaos goblins.
the moment yn saw him, she physically gulped. god. his shoulders looked criminally illegal in the morning light. she shook her head sharply, almost scolding herself. you have a boyfriend. a sweet, gentle boyfriend who buys you muffins.
jay stopped a few feet away, his hands resting on his hips as he looked at her first, worry etched all over his face.
“what the hell happened?”
yn opened her mouth, but her brain had apparently clocked out for the day. ness came to the rescue.
“we got drunk.”
jay blinked. “at 3 a.m.?”
“yeah.”
“here?”
“yeah.”
he looked at them both again—chapped lips, sleepy eyes, and leftover soju bottles tucked shamefully behind them—and sighed deeply.
“jesus christ.”
“no judgment,” ness warned, holding up a finger.
jay ran a hand through his hair, looking at yn again. “are you okay?” he asked, voice softer this time.
yn blinked up at him, heart thudding a little too loudly. “yeah. just… don’t ask anything right now.”
he nodded slowly. “okay.”
and without another word, he turned, ness leading them toward car parked two blocks away. yn stood up, still dizzy, her shoulder brushing his for half a second—and that single moment lit a fuse somewhere deep inside her chest.
she had never been more aware of her guilt. or rather, more terrified of what that awareness meant.
the silence in the car was heavy, almost sacred, save for the low hum of the engine and the occasional crackle of gravel under jay’s tires as he drove. yn had curled up in the passenger seat, arms wrapped around her legs, forehead resting against the window. her breath fogged up the glass in small bursts, and her fingers twitched now and then like she was still trying to hold onto something—maybe dignity, maybe clarity.
ness had barely buckled her seatbelt before passing out in the back, the exhaustion finally winning over adrenaline and alcohol. jay didn’t say anything at first, his grip on the steering wheel tight, eyes flicking between the road and the reflection of yn’s profile in the side mirror. she was quiet. still.
he hated that he cared this much.
he opened his mouth to say something—anything. a joke to ease the tension. a question he wasn’t supposed to ask. but then—
her phone buzzed.
the ringtone sliced through the quiet like a blade.
jay glanced at her instinctively.
she checked the caller id.
“sunghoon,” she muttered under her breath, more to herself than anyone. she hesitated for half a second, then hit accept and brought it to her ear.
“hello?” she said, voice soft.
jay’s hands clenched unconsciously on the wheel.
sunghoon’s voice filtered in through the speaker, muffled but warm and sleepy and honest in a way that only someone in love could sound. “hi baby,” he mumbled, still half-asleep. “i just woke up and wanted to hear your voice.”
yn closed her eyes, the words hitting like a punch to her chest.
jay’s heart sank instantly. everything he was going to say, everything he wanted to ask, evaporated. the reminder was brutal. real. she had someone. someone who called her “baby” without hesitation. someone she answered for. someone who woke up and thought of her first thing in the morning.
yn forced herself to smile, voice cracking slightly as she responded, “hey… morning.”
“i had a weird dream about you,” sunghoon laughed softly. “where are you? did you sleep okay?”
she flinched but didn’t let it show. “yeah, just… went for an early drive with ness. couldn’t sleep.”
jay stared straight ahead, jaw tense, blinking hard against the rush of feelings he didn’t have the right to feel.
sunghoon continued rambling through the speaker, soft laughter and gentle affection spilling into the quiet car like it belonged there—and maybe it did. just not in the way jay wished it didn’t.
“i miss you,” sunghoon said, so sincere it hurt. “you’ll be back soon, right?”
yn’s throat was dry. “yeah,” she whispered, her eyes flicking toward jay just once.
he didn’t look at her. he didn’t have to.
she knew he’d heard every word.
and just like that, the atmosphere shifted.
he turned up the ac slightly, more for something to do than any real reason. yn hung up a minute later, tucking her phone away like it had burned her fingers. no one said anything for the rest of the ride. but everything had already been said.
silently.
painfully.
loud and clear.
the morning sun had fully risen by the time they pulled into the apartment complex parking. the streets had come back to life—delivery vans rushing past, birds louder now, the sky a pale orange hue with streaks of pink dying out. but the three of them walked up the stairs like they were in a parallel world, still stuck in the silence of that drive.
ness rubbed her temples and reached into her pocket for the keys, grumbling something incoherent as she fumbled with the lock. yn stood beside her, arms crossed, eyes still puffy and jaw clenched tight. jay lingered behind them, just far enough to be out of their immediate space but close enough that his presence still pressed on her skin.
she hadn’t dared look at him since they parked.
the hallway was too quiet.
and then—
a click. a creak. the door across theirs opened.
“yn?” came a groggy voice—sunghoon.
she froze.
jay looked up at the sound too, gaze sharp despite the tired droop in his eyes.
sunghoon stepped out in his oversized hoodie and basketball shorts, hair messy, eyes still adjusting to the morning light. but the second he saw her—his expression shifted entirely.
“hey,” he beamed, stepping forward like it was the most natural thing in the world. his hand reached out, curling gently around her wrist, tugging her closer. “i missed you,” he said, voice still heavy from sleep.
before she could react—before her brain could catch up—he leaned in and kissed her softly.
jay stopped breathing. he didn’t make a sound. didn’t shift. didn’t blink. he just stood there. 
watching.
just for a second. and that second burned. then he turned. without a word, without so much as a glance, he walked past them, heading into the boys’ apartment and shutting the door behind him with a quiet click.
yn didn’t even respond to the kiss properly. her lips barely moved. she was too aware—of jay’s silence, of the guilt spreading in her chest like spilled ink, of the way her skin still remembered the car ride home and how suffocating it had felt.
sunghoon leaned back, smiling sleepily at her. “didn’t think i’d get to see you this early. what were you guys doing anyway?”
yn blinked. “just… late night drive. couldn’t sleep.”
he hummed, clearly buying it. “i’m gonna go make coffee. come over if you want.”
and then he yawned, brushed a knuckle against her cheek sweetly and walked back into his flat.
yn stood there, frozen. ness finally got the door open, swinging it wide. 
“come on,” she said softly, not asking anything.
but yn didn’t move. her eyes flicked to the door jay had disappeared behind, a dull ache blooming in her chest.
she knew. from now on, things were going to feel different. and it would be her fault.
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things were only slightly different at first—just enough to notice if you were paying attention. and yn was always paying attention now.
the banter with jay didn’t stop. it still existed in the same petty, teasing rhythm it always had. she’d roll her eyes at him in the hallway. he’d scoff at her taste in instant noodles. they still fought over the last slice of pizza in group hangouts, still tossed playful insults across the room like they were built to clash.
but something had shifted in the space between those moments.
jay wasn’t lingering as much anymore. his jokes came a beat slower. the heat behind his teasing had dulled—not gone, just guarded. he didn’t sit beside her at movie nights anymore. he didn’t glance at her when someone said her name. he barely looked her in the eyes unless he had to. and when he did, it was like a flicker. here, then gone. just enough to make her heart drop.
meanwhile, sunghoon was falling harder. you could see it. the way he looked at her like she was made of something fragile and precious. how he’d kiss the top of her head when she wasn’t paying attention, hold her hand tighter when they crossed the street. he wrote little notes and hid them in her notebooks, remembered how she liked her coffee, told her she was beautiful every chance he got.
and it made her sick with guilt.
because she liked it. she loved being loved like that. she liked sunghoon—really liked him. he was good. he was warm. he’d never hurt her.
so why, why did her eyes follow jay in a crowded room?
why did her chest tighten when he laughed with someone else?
why did her mind constantly circle back to that moment—her knees curled on the passenger seat, his voice tight with something unspoken, the sound of sunghoon’s “hi baby” echoing like a slap in the face?
yn found herself spiraling in quiet moments. brushing her teeth. waiting for the microwave. lying awake at 2 a.m. with her phone on her chest and the ceiling fan spinning lazily overhead.
how do you bring something like this up?
“hey, so, i’m maybe catching feelings for your best friend slash flatmate slash local chaos demon and i feel like the worst person alive. do you still love me now?”
what would sunghoon say?
what would jay say?
what if she was wrong? what if this was just a passing thing? a stupid, fleeting attraction she’d regret throwing everything away for?
but what if it wasn’t?
what if it was already too late?
she couldn’t tell sunghoon.
she couldn’t.
so she smiled through it. kissed him back. texted jay about dumb things, like leftover fries and lost hoodies, hoping he’d reply the way he used to. but it all felt like watching a slow fade. jay had pulled back. not completely, but enough to feel the distance. like he knew. like he was protecting himself before it all blew up.
and the worst part? she couldn’t even blame him.
the next few months passed in a blur, and jay was almost like a shadow in the corners of yn’s life—present but distant, like a dream she wasn’t sure she’d actually had. and she thought… she thought maybe this was for the best.
with jay pulling away, the noise in her head finally started to quiet down. no more glances she couldn’t explain. no more guilt bubbling in her stomach every time their eyes met. he wasn’t around enough for that anymore. the group hangouts still happened, sure, but jay kept his distance. he laughed with others, spoke when spoken to, rarely directed anything her way beyond a “move, dumbass” if she was standing in front of the fridge.
so yn leaned in. fully. completely.
sunghoon made it easy. god, he made everything so easy.
he adored her. it was obvious. in the way he lit up when she walked into the room, in the ridiculous memes he sent at 3 a.m., in how he always waited for her after class just to walk her home even if it was out of his way.
he was so stupidly in love with her, and he didn’t even try to hide it.
and for once, she let herself feel it.
she laughed more. started falling into their routines—his forehead kisses, their matching phone charms, the inside jokes about their neighbors and their shared hatred for black licorice. he made her feel safe. chosen. like she was something he’d always been looking for.
and she… she loved that. she loved being loved like that.
one night, while lying on his chest as he absentmindedly played with her hair, she caught herself staring at his face and thinking, this is what it’s supposed to feel like. this is what people meant when they said they were happy.
he kissed her forehead and whispered, “you’re my favourite person, you know that?” she smiled, pressing her cheek against his heart. “yeah,” she whispered back. “you’re mine too.” and she meant it. she did.
for the first time in months, her chest didn’t feel heavy with guilt. the name “jay” barely flickered in her head. barely. maybe this was how it was supposed to end—the jay thing. quietly. without drama. just… drifted away like smoke from a candle that was never meant to stay lit.
yn breathed easier. she was happy. or at least, she told herself that often enough that she believed it.
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it was such a stupid party.
some random get-together at heeseung’s friend’s place—half the people were strangers, half were familiar faces that somehow became mutuals over months of late-night games, shared rides, and hangouts that blurred the lines of strangers.
yn hadn’t planned on drinking, really. she was just going to show face, hang around for a bit, and leave before the usual chaos started. but then someone pulled out soju. and someone else suggested never have i ever. and now she was drunk.
not blackout drunk, but definitely leaning against ness’ shoulder, eyes glazed, cheeks flushed, and heart a little too loud in her ears. the circle of people around her laughed, groaned, and teased each other as the game continued, each question getting riskier and more chaotic with every round.
“never have i ever… kissed someone i shouldn’t have.”
a mix of groans and oohs echoed around the circle. yn didn’t move at first. but her eyes—her eyes were fixed across the circle. on him.
jay. god, jay.
he was sitting in his usual slouched way, his long legs stretched out, arms crossed as he leaned back, a lazy smirk on his face like he wasn’t even fully paying attention.
but he knew. he had to know. because her eyes hadn’t left him all night.
she told herself it was fine. sunghoon wasn’t there—he’d bailed at the last minute, said he had some work to catch up on, and promised he’d make it up to her later. and the truth was… she hadn’t minded. not even a little. not like she used to.
they were past their honeymoon phase now. it was obvious. things felt… muted. he still called her baby, still held her hand, still kissed her with that slow softness that made her chest ache—but they barely saw each other anymore, despite living literally across the hall. the calls had shortened. the texts had thinned. sometimes it felt like she was holding up a version of their relationship that only she still cared to make look picture-perfect.
and yet, what unsettled her more than all of that… was the fact that she didn’t miss it the way she was supposed to.
because jay was here. and she’d spent the whole night looking at him.
watching how his mouth twitched every time someone said something stupid. watching how his hair fell slightly over his eyes. watching how he laughed with the people beside him but never once looked her way.
not once.
she lifted her shot glass slowly to her lips and drank. one more round. one more silent confession. ness’s head turned slightly to look at her, clocking the way she was staring, but didn’t say anything. it hit her then, like a blunt force to the chest.
she liked him.
not in that passing way she used to tell herself it was. not in the “he’s just hot and annoying and i hate him” way she used to cover it up with. no. she liked jay.
she liked him like you like the person who sees through every mask you wear. like you like the person you can’t ignore even when they ignore you. like she loved him, maybe.
sunghoon, sweet as he was, felt like a dream she had once. a phase. something soft and kind that came at the right time but didn’t feel like forever.
jay? jay was the real thing.
and for the first time in a long time, she didn’t fight it. she just stared at him, dazed and drunk and devastatingly sure.
ness had been leaning a little too close to heeseung on the balcony, her arms resting on the railing, head tilted as she listened to him ramble about some stupid gym story that somehow involved a pigeon, a protein shake, and a broken locker key.
she rolled her eyes at him, biting back a smile—and that’s when the balcony door burst open.
yn stumbled in with all the grace of a giggly drunk person who thought they were being subtle. her eyes were wide, her smile even wider, and her steps surprisingly steady as she tiptoed—dramatically—into the balcony like she was on a mission.
then, in the world’s worst attempt at a whisper, she leaned toward ness and slurred out:
“i like jay.”
it wasn’t even a full whisper. it was more like a scream that wore a fake mustache and tried to pass off as discreet.
ness’s mouth dropped open.
not in surprise—she’d known, she’d suspected this for months—but the fact that yn had chosen this moment, this volume, this balcony to finally scream it into existence?
heeseung blinked. “WHAT.”
ness immediately smacked his arm and shut the balcony door with the urgency of a spy defusing a bomb. “shut up!” she hissed, locking it behind them and drawing the curtain like a makeshift soundproof barrier.
yn, meanwhile, flopped into one of the balcony chairs like she’d just finished confessing a murder. “god, that felt so good,” she exhaled, throwing her head back. “it’s been living in my lungs, dude. like—like—how do people keep feelings like that inside?! i feel lighter.”
ness stared at her, still blinking. “yn. you have a boyfriend.”
“i know!” yn whined, dramatically flopping her arms. “and he’s sweet and perfect and he’s sunghoon, i know. but like. i like jay. not like ‘haha he’s cute’ like—i like him like i want to kiss him. and not feel guilty about it.”
heeseung, leaning against the wall now with the smuggest grin, pointed between them. “okay but like. she’s not wrong. you and sunghoon haven’t even hung out properly in weeks.”
“you’re not helping,” ness hissed at him, then turned back to yn, grabbing her shoulders. “you’re drunk. and you’re spiraling. you’re not thinking clearly.”
“i am, actually,” yn replied with terrifying clarity, eyes wide. “i’ve never been clearer. jay is the real thing. like—like when i looked at him during the game tonight, i felt like throwing my drink in my face just to snap out of it.”
heeseung snorted. “romantic.”
ness glared at him again. “shut up, heeseung.”
yn pulled her legs up into the chair, hugging her knees like a teenage girl in love for the first time. “i don’t think it was ever just banter. like all those months we used to fight? what if it was just us flirting in denial?”
“oh my god,” ness groaned, rubbing her temples. “you sound like a budget therapist.”
heeseung, ever the chaos enabler, crossed his arms. “okay but she might be right. the dude stopped hanging out with everyone at once, he barely even talks to her now. he’s protecting himself.”
ness turned to him with wide eyes. “how do you know that?”
heeseung shrugged. “because if i was falling for someone i wasn’t supposed to fall for, i’d do the same thing.” 
and for a second, the balcony fell quiet. the muffled sounds of the party inside filtered through the glass door, but none of them moved.
ness looked at yn, who looked like she was floating—giddy, scared, but sure. too sure. “yn,” she said quietly, “you can’t just blow your relationship up because you caught feelings drunk at a party.”
“i’m not,” she said. “i already caught feelings. i’m just… finally admitting it.”
another silence.
heeseung just raised a hand. “if this ends in flames, i’d like to be excluded from all blame. but if it works out—i told you so.”
ness sighed, looking at yn. “you need to figure this out when you’re sober. and alone.”
yn smiled to herself, not answering, just staring out into the dark sky beyond the railing, a million thoughts racing through her head.
but one thing stood still in her heart. she liked jay. and now it was out. their mission that night had been clear—keep yn away from jay. at all costs.
ness had made it very clear before they even left their apartment. she’d even held yn’s face in her hands dramatically and said, “you are not allowed within a five-foot radius of that man. you hear me? no lingering glances, no innocent conversations, no ‘oops i tripped into your lap’ energy. we are going. we are vibing. we are not confessing.”
but fast forward two hours later, and things were… precarious.
yn, comfortably drunk and emotionally unstable, had just made her big balcony confession. she’d announced her feelings like it was a televised broadcast, her words laced with passion, delusion, and four too many shots of soju.
and now that they were back inside, ness was on high alert. the second she noticed yn’s gaze shift across the room—to him—ness smacked her shoulder lightly. 
“no.”
yn blinked at her, eyes dazed. “i didn’t even say anything.”
“you thought it. i saw it in your eyes.”
“i just looked!”
“exactly.”
heeseung was already snickering behind them, cradling his drink. “you’re like a mom scolding her kid for looking at candy.”
ness turned to him and deadpanned, “i am. she’s drunk, and jay is the biggest metaphorical bag of sour patch kids alive.”
yn pouted. “you guys are so dramatic.”
ness raised an eyebrow. “are we? you literally whispered—screamed—on the balcony that you want to kiss him. and then proceeded to talk about his ‘emotionally tortured eyes’ for five straight minutes.”
“that was poetry,” heeseung chimed in, taking another sip. “kinda beautiful, honestly.”
ness flicked him on the forehead. “you’re not helping.”
then she flicked yn too.
“ow! what was that for?!”
“that was for even thinking about walking over there.” ness crossed her arms. “yn, you’re drunk. you cannot trust drunk you to make good choices. and if you tell him now—here, like this—you’re going to wake up tomorrow with a hangover and a crisis.”
yn looked mildly offended. “i’m very wise when i’m drunk.”
“you also thought it was a good idea to pretend to be a tree when jungwon’s ex walked in earlier,” ness deadpanned.
“…he didn’t see me, did he?”
ness just gave her a look.
yn groaned, sliding down into the couch, her head falling back as her eyes landed on jay again—just a glimpse, across the crowd. he was laughing at something someone said, head thrown back, unaware of the war going on a few feet away.
heeseung caught her line of sight and promptly held up a pillow. “visual block. you’re in a jay-free zone now.”
ness clapped. “see? that’s the energy. that’s the plan.”
“but i like him,” yn whined, muffled under the pillow.
“i know,” ness said gently, crouching beside her. “and when you’re sober, and not halfway into a bottle of bad party soju, we’ll talk about it. and maybe then, you’ll decide if you still want to tell him.”
“but what if it’s too late then?”
ness sighed. “if it’s real, yn… it won’t be.”
and with that, operation keep yn from jay continued—full force, emotionally driven, and slightly chaotic. because as much as they all joked, none of them wanted to see her heart broken.
but then it happened faster than ness could stop. one second yn was grabbing a drink, giggling at something heeseung said—her body safely wedged between the two of them like she was in a human barricade. and then—like a ghost—he was just there.
jay.
a shadow slipping into the corner of her vision. she just turned and their eyes met.
her heart dropped, stomach clenching in a way that had nothing to do with the lukewarm vodka-orange mix she’d just sipped. because she had spent all night imagining this moment—fantasising how it would feel if he finally looked at her again like he used to. and now, here it was. real. unavoidable. and she was dazed out of her mind.
“can we talk?” he asked gently, his voice low, barely heard over the music.
ness, from across the room, instantly spotted it—danger—and started moving toward them, but it was already too late. yn’s feet were already following him, her body betraying her like muscle memory. and heeseung? he was just watching with interest, like he’d tuned in to the first episode of a drama he knew was going to ruin him.
they stepped out into the quieter hallway, the distant bass muffled behind them. and suddenly it was just the two of them, the warm low light washing over jay’s face, his expression unreadable but… soft.
too soft.
he smelled like bergamot and something darker—like rain-soaked cologne and he looked at her like she was the only real thing in the room.
yn’s knees ached.
he rubbed the back of his neck, stepping slightly closer. “i know i’ve been distant,” he started. “and i’m sorry. i should’ve just told you earlier.”
she blinked, heart thudding. “told me what?”
“that i liked you,” he said.
the words landed like a gut-punch. even if she knew—deep in her bones, in the glances, in the way he avoided her like she was a lit match—hearing it like this?
her knees nearly gave out.
“i didn’t know how to act around you anymore,” he continued, eyes flicking to hers, pleading almost. “because you’re with him. and i didn’t want to fuck it up. i didn’t want to be that guy. but i couldn’t keep pretending either.”
she tried to focus. tried. but her thoughts were swirling, her breath catching, and she could see ness and heeseung behind him through the open door—ness wide-eyed, gesturing wildly like no. do not kiss. no touching. stay in your lane. heeseung trying to wildly gesture her to just run away.
yn swallowed hard, forcing herself to speak. “jay, i… i can’t.”
he nodded, slowly, painfully. “i know.”
“but i think about kissing you,” she whispered, “’til i can’t breathe.”
his eyes closed for a second, his jaw tightening with restraint. “i do too,” he admitted, stepping closer anyway, his voice hoarse. “so fucking badly.”
it completely contradicted everything he’d just apologised for, but neither of them cared.
not when her lips were trembling, not when he was standing this close, not when the entire night had been building up to this moment like the slowest, softest car crash.
but she didn’t move. and neither did he. not because they didn’t want to. but because if they did, they’d never come back from it.
so they just stood there—wanting. breaking.
and behind them, ness finally dragged heeseung away, whispering, “if they kiss, we kill them both.”
heeseung nodded, “fair.”
yn turned to walk away first, her heart pounding, lungs burning, mind completely wrecked.
jay watched her leave like he’d just let the love of his life walk away from him.
because he did. and neither of them knew what to do next.
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things between her and sunghoon didn’t get better.
not really.
they were still together—technically. he still sent her good morning texts, still gave her a kiss on the cheek when they met, still held her hand when they walked. but it wasn’t the same. not in the way it used to be. it was almost like… going through the motions. the tenderness had faded. the small, secret smiles. the unspoken inside jokes. the silly arguments about whose turn it was to pick dinner. now, it was just silence. or surface-level comfort. a familiarity that felt more like habit than love.
and somehow, that wasn’t even the worst of her worries.
because now that jay had said it—really said it—everything had changed.
it was like the second he admitted it out loud, something inside him unlocked. he started showing it, like he wasn’t afraid anymore. like confessing gave him permission to feel out loud. and he did—god, he did.
he looked at her like she belonged to him, even though she didn’t. not yet. he smiled at her like she was the best part of his day. he said things that made her laugh so hard her stomach hurt, and he’d grin like it was his favourite sound. he didn’t say “baby” out loud, but it was in the way he called her name. soft. familiar. loaded.
he didn’t kiss her. but he looked at her like he wanted to. every time he said goodnight—whether in person, over text, or just from the hallway across the apartment—his eyes said all the things he wasn’t allowed to do. not yet.
and she let him. she let him look. let him smile. let him toe that line—just like she did.
even though sunghoon was right there. sitting next to her on the couch. staring at his phone. not saying a word.
they were at the guy’s place again, everyone just lazing around after dinner. a random movie played in the background. jungwon was asleep on the floor, ness was fighting with heeseung over popcorn, and jay was leaning against the kitchen counter, eyes flicking to her in between sips of his drink.
sunghoon was right beside her. close enough that their knees brushed. but he hadn’t looked at her once in the last half hour. hadn’t tried to hold her hand. hadn’t leaned over to whisper something dumb in her ear like he used to.
and she… she hadn’t said anything either.
because the air had shifted. they could both feel it. something unspoken had settled between them, heavy and fragile. he still cared—she knew he did. but it started to feel more friendly. like they were slowly morphing into something platonic, even if neither of them had the guts to say it.
and jay hated it.
she could see it in the way his jaw clenched whenever sunghoon passed her a drink. in the way his eyes followed them when they got up together. in the way his entire posture changed when sunghoon touched her, even if briefly. he hated it—not because he was jealous, but because he wished, so badly, that it was him.
that he was the one allowed to kiss her goodnight. that he was the one who got to sit next to her and play with her fingers while she talked. that he was the one who got to mean it when he looked at her like that.
but he wasn’t. not yet.
and yn didn’t know how much longer she could pretend she didn’t want him to be.
it was late.
one of those unusually cold nights, even for the season, where the silence outside the apartment windows felt heavier than usual. yn had left after sunghoon laughed heartedly in conversation with heeseung, sitting beside her but somehow not really with her. she claimed needing some air and she really did. she was heading back after the short walk, hoodie pulled up, hands tucked deep in her pockets. when she reached her building, the hallway light flickered once before steadying, and just as she turned the corner—
jay.
he was leaning against the wall outside his apartment, phone in hand, like he’d been waiting for something. or someone. the second he saw her, his posture straightened, lips parting like he hadn’t expected her but had hoped she’d show.
they stood there for a second. just looked at each other. and then he spoke. quietly.
“you okay?”
she gave a soft nod. “just needed some air.”
jay stepped forward, a little closer than he should’ve. his eyes searched her face like he was trying to read something between her lashes. “you’ve been quiet lately.”
“so have you.”
“yeah,” he said, voice barely audible now. “that night… at the party. i didn’t mean to mess things up.”
“you didn’t.”
“i did.” he paused. “you just won’t say it.”
she didn’t respond.
the hallway buzzed gently with the hum of the fluorescent bulb above them. everything else—thoughts, emotions, the painful pounding in her chest—was way too loud.
jay stepped even closer. close enough that she had to tilt her chin up to meet his eyes. close enough that she could smell the faint trace of his cologne again. the one she was starting to associate with late nights and near-disasters.
“i can’t keep acting like i don’t feel this way,” he murmured. “every time i see you with him… i wanna lose it.”
“jay—”
“i know, i know. you’re with him. i’m not trying to mess with that. but i’m tired of pretending like i don’t want you.”
her breath hitched. he was so close now. their fingers almost brushed when her hand dropped from her pocket. his eyes flickered from her mouth back up to her eyes. slowly. carefully.
“i’m not gonna kiss you,” he whispered, like he was reminding himself more than her. “not unless you want me to.”
her heart was racing so fast she swore it echoed.
“i can’t,” she breathed. “you know i can’t.”
jay nodded, but didn’t move away. “but do you want to?”
silence. she hated that she didn’t have an answer. or maybe she did. maybe her silence was the answer.
his jaw tensed, eyes dropping for just a second before he stepped back, finally giving her the space she didn’t ask for but desperately needed.
“goodnight, yn,” he said, voice barely holding together.
she whispered it back.
he disappeared into his apartment without another word, the door clicking softly behind him.
and she stood there for a full minute, head pressed against the cool wall, hating how much she wished he hadn’t walked away.
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it came out of nowhere.
a message from jay. just a casual notification on a regular tuesday night, lighting up her phone screen like it was any other day.
jay: hey. just wanted to say i’ve been good lately. hope you are too. i think i’m finally over it.
yn stared at it.
read it once. then again. and again. every word sinking heavier into her stomach, like wet sand pulling her under. her thumb hovered over the screen, unsure of what to type—if she should type anything. what did he mean by “it”? she knew exactly what he meant. and she hated how badly she didn’t want it to be true.
it wasn’t like she had expected him to wait. or chase her. or hang on forever. she never asked for that. but somehow, him saying it—putting it out there so cleanly, so calmly—hurt more than she expected. a lot more.
especially because he knew she wasn’t over it.
a minute later, another ping.
jay: met someone actually. nothing serious but it’s been good. healthy. idk. feels nice to like someone who’s not… yk.
you.
the word wasn’t written, but she read it anyway. her mouth felt dry. her heartbeat roared in her ears. it wasn’t jealousy, not exactly. it was more like mourning something that was never hers to begin with.
she typed, erased. typed again.
yn: that’s good. i’m glad. you deserve that.
three dots. he was typing. 
then they disappeared.
then came back again.
jay: yeah. guess we both needed to move on huh?
did they?
because she hadn’t. not really. she was still stuck in place, heart split between what should be and what felt right. she still replayed that night in the hallway over and over again. still thought about how soft his voice had been. how warm his eyes were when he said he wanted her.
and now he was telling her he didn’t anymore.
except… except a few days later, she saw him in the lobby, laughing at something heeseung said. and when his eyes met hers across the glass doors, they didn’t look like the eyes of someone who was over it.
they looked like the eyes of someone pretending to be. and yn wasn’t sure what broke her more—that he was pretending… or that she was pretending too.
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it was quiet.
the kind of quiet that didn’t feel comforting or peaceful—just… inevitable. like a slow tide pulling away from the shore, leaving nothing but wet sand and echoes behind. yn sat on the edge of the playground bench near their building, arms folded tightly over her chest. the air was warm, but her palms were cold.
she heard sunghoon’s footsteps before she saw him. they were familiar, light but a little fast, like he didn’t want to be late. he hadn’t changed much—still in that hoodie he always wore on slow weekends, hair still tousled like he hadn’t bothered to fix it before coming down.
but there was something different in his eyes when he saw her. a kind of understanding already sitting there. like he knew. he gave her a soft smile as he sat beside her.
“hey,” he said.
“hey.”
a pause. the longest one. the kind where you hear everything else—the rustle of leaves, the distant traffic, the laughter of someone’s kid echoing faintly from the other end of the street.
“it’s been a while,” he said.
she nodded. “yeah. didn’t realise how long it’s been since we actually… talked.”
sunghoon looked down, his fingers running along the seam of his jeans. “i guess we both got busy.”
“no,” she said, and her voice was steady now. “we just… stopped trying.”
he turned to look at her, face unreadable but not cold. just tired. “is this the part where you tell me you want to break up?”
her heart stung, but she nodded anyway. “yeah.”
there was no outburst. no angry words or tears. just silence again. and then he leaned back, exhaled a laugh that didn’t reach his eyes.
“i kinda saw it coming.”
yn bit the inside of her cheek. “i liked you. i really did. and you were good to me. but this… whatever we had—it feels like it was something short. sweet, but short. a fling that just… slowed down.”
he looked up at the sky, nodded once. “we were fun.”
“we were,” she said softly. “and maybe we still can be. just not like this.”
“i never wanted to hold you back,” he said.
“you didn’t.”
he paused, then asked—very gently—“is it jay?”
she hesitated. not because she wanted to lie. but because her heart clenched the moment his name left sunghoon’s mouth. so she said, quietly:
“it’s not because of him. but… i won’t pretend he didn’t make me realise some things.”
sunghoon nodded again, slower this time. “he always looked at you like he knew something the rest of us didn’t.”
yn swallowed the lump in her throat. “i never wanted to hurt you.”
“i know.” he offered her a small, tired smile. “and i think i’ll still be around. just… as a friend.”
“i’d like that.”
they sat there for a while longer. two people who had once held hands and hearts, now just holding onto the soft understanding that sometimes, love didn’t last. and sometimes… that was okay.
she cried herself to sleep that night.
not because of sunghoon. she felt guilty admitting it, even to herself, but her tears had little to do with him. that conversation had been quiet, mutual, almost too calm. there were no raised voices, no dramatic walkaways, no last-minute “don’t go”—just a soft, shared acceptance that whatever they had was over.
it wasn’t grief for that relationship that kept her chest heavy under the covers. it was something else entirely.
jay.
the thought of him with someone else—smiling at someone else the way he used to smile at her, even if only in passing—burned. the idea of him genuinely moving on, meaning the words he texted and not just pretending for her sake, was what made her turn over in bed and bury her face into her pillow.
she hadn’t broken up with sunghoon for jay. she didn’t do it to choose someone else. but maybe, deep down, she had still hoped. hoped that when she finally set herself free, jay would be right there. waiting. like he always had been. like he used to be.
but now…
now, he was texting her like a friend. smiling in passing. not seeking her out like before. now, he might be liking someone else.
and the worst part?
she had no right to be upset about it. that’s what broke her.
she curled up tighter, fists gripping the corner of her blanket, chest aching with words she never got to say. i didn’t choose you because i wasn’t ready. but i wanted to. i wanted you.
tears soaked into her pillow as the night dragged on. and she thought to herself, god, i just hope he hasn’t stopped wanting me too.
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mia was nice. that was the best jay could come up with. she was nice.
she had pretty hair, smelled like soft florals, wore tiny gold hoops that glinted every time she tucked her hair behind her ear. she laughed at his jokes—even the dumb ones—and knew how to keep a conversation going.
but the entire time, jay sat there politely nodding, smiling in all the right places, all while subconsciously chasing shadows. he shouldn’t have done that. he wasn’t that guy. then again, he really wasn’t some guy to be on a casual blind date jungwon wore him to attend. but here he was. laughing half heartedly at something she said, asking her random questions to continue on without awkwardness.
but every time mia said something, he caught himself thinking how yn would’ve said it differently. her sarcasm sharper. her eyes more expressive. when mia said she hated mint chocolate, he nearly laughed because yn would’ve agreed—loudly, dramatically, maybe even started a fake fight over it.
and when mia reached over to take a fry off his plate without asking, he stilled. yn used to do that too. only, when she did it, he never minded.
he was fucked. so hopelessly, pathetically fucked.
still, he wasn’t going to be a dick about it. he walked her to her stop, said he had fun, even smiled when she touched his arm and said she’d like to do this again sometime. he didn’t say no. he just said, “yeah, maybe.”
then walked the rest of the way home alone, hands in his jacket, the streets dark and cold.
when he stepped into the apartment, it was quiet, save for the faint glow of the tv. sunghoon was on the couch, legs stretched out, scrolling through something on his phone. he looked up once when jay kicked off his shoes.
“how was the date?” he asked, eyes returning to the screen.
jay shrugged. “fine.”
another beat. “she seemed cool,” sunghoon added casually.
“yeah. she was.” jay didn’t elaborate. he walked over and sat next to him, their shoulders nearly brushing.
the silence stretched, awkward but familiar. jay picked at a loose thread on the hem of his sleeve.
and then—quietly, without looking away from his phone—sunghoon said, “me and yn broke up. last night.”
jay’s fingers froze. his breath caught. just for a second.
but his voice came out even, too even. “what happened?”
sunghoon let out a soft laugh. not bitter. not amused either. just… tired. “nothing dramatic. we just stopped feeling like… us. guess we were holding onto something we already outgrew.”
jay looked over at him, trying to read between the lines. sunghoon didn’t look sad. didn’t look angry. if anything, he looked relieved. but also… resigned.
jay didn’t say anything for a while. he just nodded. “i’m sorry.”
and sunghoon—knowing exactly what jay meant and not what he said—nodded back.
he wasn’t stupid. he had seen the way jay looked at her, long before jay even realised he was doing it. he had seen the shift in yn too. he wasn’t angry. just… weirdly at peace with it.
he kept his gaze on the tv. “you know, you really suck at hiding shit.”
jay finally smiled. just a little. “yeah… i know.”
they sat there for a while, two boys in the quiet, both loving the same girl at different times. and in some tangled, painful, unspoken way—both letting her go.
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they hadn’t spoken in over a week.
not a word, not a glance. no messages. no stolen eye contact in the hallway. just this unspoken understanding that maybe space was safer—until space began to feel suffocating.
so when yn and jay both stepped out of their stats class, test papers in hand, and nearly collided in the doorway, it was as if the universe had finally lost patience with their bullshit.
“oh,” she blinked, taking half a step back.
he stopped too, awkwardly shifting his paper to his other hand. “hey.”
there was a beat of silence before she held up her paper and grinned. “A minus.”
jay let out a low whistle, then held up his own with a smirk. “A plus.”
she rolled her eyes dramatically, laughing under her breath. “show off.”
and just like that, like the simplest of interactions, his heart did that annoying thing—it thudded. hard. like it still hadn’t learned to stop reacting to her smile.
they fell into step together, the sunlight catching in her hair as they walked down the stone path leading to the bus stop. the early afternoon buzzed around them, people passing by, bikes whirring, conversations floating in the air—but jay only heard the quiet between their footsteps.
she broke it first. “so… your date?”
jay chuckled, shoving one hand in his pocket. “it was okay.”
she raised an eyebrow. “just okay?”
“yeah,” he shrugged. “how’d you even know about it?”
she shot him a knowing look. “mia’s been parading you around class like you’re already hers. i’m surprised she didn’t bring you a lunchbox this week.”
jay snorted, running a hand through his hair. “that explains the stares.”
a small silence passed again. not uncomfortable, but dense. like there were words crawling at the back of both their throats.
and then jay said it. softly. “i heard about you and sunghoon.”
she nodded, eyes fixed on the sidewalk. “yeah. last week.”
jay glanced at her, trying to read the corners of her expression.
“it was just a short one, i guess,” she added after a moment, her voice light, but not detached.
he nodded with her, slow, lips twitching like he was holding something back. and then—before he could stop himself—he asked it.
“was it… because of me?”
yn’s steps faltered just slightly. she didn’t look at him right away, just stared ahead, blinking. then she turned her face to him, her expression unreadable at first—somewhere between amusement and vulnerability. 
a pause stretched, and then she smiled. not wide. not coy. just soft. like she was tired of pretending she didn’t have an answer. “maybe not just because of you,” she said quietly. “but… you didn’t exactly help.”
jay’s heart did that thing again.
he swallowed, gaze flicking to her lips and back up. “i’m sorry.”
she tilted her head. “for what?”
“for liking you,” he said, honest, raw. “even when i wasn’t supposed to.”
yn’s lips curved. and for a second, jay didn’t know if she was about to smile wider or walk away. but she just kept walking beside him, slower now. “you really suck at dates, by the way,” she muttered, nudging his arm.
and he laughed—really laughed—because somehow, even after everything, she was still his favorite person to be next to.
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things settled into an odd kind of normal.
the same relentless bickering returned—sarcastic jabs and exaggerated eye rolls, arguments about literally everything under the sun: who was smarter, who looked better in their uniforms, whose stats paper was graded unfairly. but now there was a lightness to it. a flicker in their eyes, the way one smirked a little too long, the way the other blushed a little too fast.
they’d done this before, but it was different now. because now they knew.
jay knew exactly how she smiled when she was trying not to say something reckless. yn knew exactly how jay’s voice dropped when he was holding back too much.
they’d both been to the edge, toes curling at the boundary of something they shouldn’t cross, and now that they’d danced around it long enough, even sunghoon—of all people—was rooting for them.
he’d taken to calling their bickering flirting, usually with a mouthful of cereal and a raised brow. “just date already,” he’d said one evening, scrolling through his phone on the couch. “you’re killing the vibe with all that tension.”
they both had immediately denied it—at the same time—louder than necessary. sunghoon had just smirked. “whatever you say. just don’t drag me into your wedding speeches.”
and despite the quiet permission hanging in the air, they didn’t do anything. not right away. because bro code. and ex-girlfriend code. and the absolute mess that came with being so close yet still somehow in limbo.
but then came jake’s party. again.
a big one this time, packed and loud. the music pulsed through the walls like a heartbeat, and everything smelled like spiked soda and cheap perfume. yn had promised herself she’d take it easy. and then jay handed her a drink, his smirk making her forget every ounce of self-restraint.
she didn’t remember when they stopped drinking responsibly. somewhere between their third shared shot and her dramatic rant about the girl in the pink boots, jay was laughing beside her, tossing in jokes and reactions, his head thrown back, completely captivated by her storytelling.
they were inseparable that night.
he followed her around like he always did, teasing her every step, offering her his jacket when she stepped out for air and pulling her back into the party when her buzz began to fade. their shoulders touched constantly. her fingers curled around his wrist once when she almost tripped, and he didn’t let go for far too long.
and somehow, at some point, they ended up alone.
the hallway was dim, bathed in the leftover amber glow from the party lights. it was far enough from the crowd that everything else sounded like a muffled echo. they stood there, breathless from laughing, drinks still in hand but forgotten.
jay looked at her then, really looked. her lipstick was smudged from the cup, her eyes bright and unfocused. she leaned against the wall, head tilted, watching him the same way he was watching her.
there was silence. charged. heavy.
he stepped closer.
“so,” he said, voice soft, barely above a whisper. “we gonna keep pretending this doesn’t feel different now?”
yn blinked, eyes trailing from his lips to his collarbone and back up again. her heart thudded somewhere in her throat.
“i was gonna ask you the same thing,” she murmured, tilting her head just slightly.
his hand brushed against her hip, light and slow, testing the air between them.
“fuck it,” she whispered, barely audible.
and just like that his lips were on hers. it felt like the earth was caving in, the room was spinning—probably cause it was to them—like this was it. because it was
 jay was finally kissing her like she had been pleading for months. his lips were desperate but gentle and moved so preciously like he wanted to imprint the feeling of her lips forever.
he pulled away first but only to trail down to her neck, every single peck on her skin feeling electric. his hand, which had been flat on her hip, was now crunching at her dress, nails slightly digging into her skin making her hiss.
yn could barely keep her eyes open, not when his warm tongue was licking over her collarbone. a moan slid out, strangled but low and audible to him, heat immediately rushing down his body at the sound. 
“jay,” she called out breathless. he hummed into her neck, pulling away to look into her eyes, the gaze making her physically weak in the knees.
“i want you.” she said, like she meant it. and she fucking did. 
that was all it took for him to get moving. he took her by the hand to the nearest room—which seemed to be jake’s bathroom—locking the door and just looking at her. 
she was a little messy than when they originally entered the party, her hair undone, her dress crooked but still doing her justice. her eyes were trained to him, watching his next step.
he slowly walked closer, as if asking for permission for the millionth time and when her lips met his, he sounded out his everything into a guttural moan.
his jacket was on the floor in record time. the sleeve of her dress slipped off her shoulder as he took full advantage of the access he had been given. her hands tugged his hair as she felt his lips softly kiss down to her collarbone and over the lacy bra she had picked, hoping she would end up in this position.
his hands, that once gripped her waist, now found her thighs. she gasped at the feelings, heart thumping excitedly. he chuckled at the sound of her heart rate increasing against his mouth.
“are you excited, baby?” he asked softly, finally happy to be able to use that nickname for her. 
she whimpered in response, letting out a noise that suspiciously sounded like ‘please’.
he toyed more, wanting her to say it. beg him for it. “what was that, love?”.
she tried to stand her ground, to be—or at least pretend to be—confident. “you know what i want” she said, voice surprisingly stable despite the alcohol she had consumed.
his fingers that once played with the plush skin of her thighs, moved towards her core, that had somewhat dampened with all his teasing.
“fuck yn. how are you already so wet, my love? i haven’t even done anything.” he didn’t mean for it to come out in a groan, wanting to prolong teasing her but quite frankly, none of them could really wait anymore.
in the next second, his pant was by his ankles and she was propped up against the bathroom sink. her eyes trained down his leaking dick, which he held in his palm. his eyes were only on her. “are you sure about this yn? we can always do it some other time–”
“you talk WAY too much just fuck me jay.” that did it for him, lining up with her core. her nails dug into his shoulders as she gasped softly at the feeling of his tip against her folds. she could only chanted a mantra of ‘fuck fuck fuck’ as he slowly entered her. he was suspiciously quiet but his jaw slacked open at the feeling of her around him.
“holy shit you’re so tight” he mumbled, body jerking forward as she clenched around him. 
he only moved his hips when she gave him the go, hands holding her waist as he slowly moved in and out of her. a symphony of moans slipped out her mouth, his heart fluttering at the sound.
“you feel so good i’m..” she moaned out, head tilting back at the feeling. he leaned in, teeth grazing the neck of her skin, sending more heat to her stomach.
the sound of her voice only fueled him more, his pace increasing until they were both panting. he climaxed first, head against her shoulder. then he helped her through hers, drawing small circles on her bud.
“that was.. Insane” she huffed through. he nodded, kissing her sweaty forehead.
“it was good but i’m only now realising, our first time was in jake’s bathroom..” he said slowly.
yn’s eyes widened at the discovery, shaking her head in disgust as she dressed up quickly, mumbling “we better leave before we get AIDS or something”. jay just laughed.
the bathroom door clicked shut behind them, soft and quiet, but their nerves buzzed like they had just fired a cannon in the middle of the party.
they walked side by side—casually, coolly, trying very hard to pretend they hadn’t just hooked up in the bathroom like reckless teenagers. they approached the group slowly: ness, heeseung, jungwon and a few others lounging on the couch, mid-conversation.
but the second the group saw them together, walking in sync and looking far too smug for two people who claimed they "weren’t a thing," everything stopped.
ness’ eyes narrowed.
heeseung tilted his head.
jungwon straight-up pointed. “you. two.”
yn’s eyes widened in mock innocence. jay rubbed the back of his neck, trying to play it cool.
“what?” yn asked, blinking.
“no way,” ness said, jaw dropped. “don’t even try to deny it—your hair is different, jay’s shirt is wrinkled, and you’ve been gone for exactly twenty-three minutes.”
heeseung gasped dramatically, grabbing a pillow and clutching it to his chest like he was in a soap opera. “y’all really did it in the bathroom?!”
jay opened his mouth to deny it, as did yn, both ready with some pre-decided excuse—but before they could even begin, the entire group cheered. loud, chaotic clapping, whooping, heeseung nearly falling off the couch.
“no shame!” ness shouted. “i knew it was gonna happen, but not like this.”
“you two are disgusting,” heeseung added, though he was grinning ear to ear.
jay and yn looked at each other, stunned for a second—then just gave in and laughed, cheeks flushed but not entirely from embarrassment.
she shook her head. “i hate you all.”
“you love us,” ness beamed, reaching out to pull her into the couch with them. jay followed after, dropping onto the floor beside her, his knee brushing against hers.
he looked up at her, eyes shining with mischief. “so… we’re really not denying it?”
yn leaned back, smirking. “they made it impossible.”
he grinned. “good.” because maybe it wasn’t supposed to be a secret anymore.
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it was a lazy sunday afternoon.
the type where the sun slanted perfectly through the kitchen window and the city buzzed quietly in the background. the apartment was a mess — leftover containers from last night’s takeout on the coffee table, a blanket half on the couch, and jay’s hoodie thrown across one of the dining chairs. a spotify playlist hummed low in the background, something soft and indie and painfully romantic, not that either of them would admit to putting it on.
yn stood in front of the open fridge, hair tied in the world’s most unstable bun, a sour look on her face. “did you seriously eat all the mango yogurt?”
jay, sprawled across the floor with his back propped up by the couch. “it was expiring soon.”
“you ate four cups, jay.”
“i was being responsible.”
“you’re an idiot.”
he smiled, slow and wide, like he loved being called that by her. “and yet you’re dating me.”
she groaned dramatically, slamming the fridge shut. “god, what a mistake.”
he laughed, actually laughed, before sitting up and patting the spot beside him. “come here, mistake-maker. you can yell at me up close.”
yn rolled her eyes, but she crossed the room anyway, dropping down beside him and stealing the throw pillow from behind his back just to spite him. 
jay turned to her, watching her face like he still couldn’t believe he got to look at her this close. “you love me,” he said smugly, like he was stating a universal truth.
she snorted. “sure.”
“no, say it,” he leaned in closer, lips brushing the side of her cheek. “say you love me.”
“i like you.”
“love.”
“tolerate.”
he kissed her then — just because he could. because it had taken them a whole mess of jealousy, broken friendships, midnight drives, stupid parties, and one too many bad decisions to get here. and because even through all of it, all the bickering and banter, the push and pull, she was his.
when they broke apart, yn was smiling — soft, teasing.
“i love you,” she whispered.
jay grinned like it physically pained him not to kiss her again. “told you so.”
she shoved him lightly. “ugh, i change my mind.”
but she didn’t. she never could.
and even as they argued over what to order for lunch five minutes later (because of course they did), even as she threatened to smother him with a pillow if he didn’t stop playing with the light switch like a five-year-old, it was obvious to everyone — to ness, to heeseung, to the group chat that never slept — that this was it for them.
a love built on chaos, stubbornness, endless teasing, and the kind of loyalty that stuck around — even when it was hard.
even when it was them.
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© ikeu05, 2025
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lovedahlia · 5 months ago
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LOVERBOY ! SOLDIER BOY HEADCANONS ( 18+ ! )
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. . . bc i'm feeling so incredibly mentally ill rn. lemme live in this fantasy. that i believe to be true & how my pookie beloved would BEEEEE. idc if u think it's ooc this is my canon.
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ben greets you every time you see each other with a kiss on the back of the hand and some murmured words, like, "hey pretty."
he's constantly showering you with gifts.
flowers for when he does something bad, with a messy scrawled note that says "sorry for making you cry. kisses." or, "sorry i punched a hole through the door. love you." or, "not apologizing for beating that guy's face in. sorry it upset you though. kisses."
chocolates for when he comes over. two boxes, one for him, one for you, because he knows ( from previous experience ) that it irritates you when he'd steal from yours.
( it does not stop him still from stealing )
jewelry! every time he sees something that you would look pretty in! and he does the clasps for you.
he's a nuzzler. you made the mistake once of mentioning how his beardburn tickled and now he doesn't just aim to leave it between your thighs but he rubs his face on your neck and throat like a cat.
he's still gruff as fuck, but it's with more intent, now. he'll bend you over and throw your legs around and move you as he pleases but kisses each part along the way.
like. he puts your legs over his shoulders when you're pinned beneath him and kisses your ankle. he puts you on your hands and knees and trails little kisses down your spine.
don't get him started on hickeys. seriously. he bites.
the aftercare is so lovely with him :( he absolutely doesn't listen to your insistences that you're fine. he's already running a bath for you, WITH bubbles, even though it wastes your pretty soaps.
he just likes to be able to scoop some bubbles up and pile them on your head while you're in there <3 bc oh yeah, he is washing u. don't even try to argue.
long days = him not saying a word when he gets home = he's just immediately snatching you from wherever you are to drag you to the nearest seat so he can sit with you in his lap. many dinners have been burnt bc of this.
he likes when you play with his hair! it makes him feel like something gentle and kind and deserving of it, when you treat him so lovely. even though he only ever cares what people think of him with you, and only cares how he behaves in front of you.
praise <3 you could walk into a room and he'd be like "my pretty baby's so damn steady on their feet, my god." he wants you to have the biggest ego on the planet actually
he also likes to remind you of how well you take him when he's fucking you.
he WILL and DOES pay attention to your cues. you're overwhelmed? need a break? he's not questioning it. maybe he'll tease you that "you didn't need a break last time he was so rough" but that's all.
forehead kisses. he is tall. he is kissing the top of your head, your forehead, or your temple, whenever he damn pleases.
he has probably killed people for looking at you wrong or being mean to you. at the very least he threatens it, because how could someone be mean to you? you? his baby? the one who's never done a thing wrong in your life?
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. . . of course my first post over here is me being soldier boy's biggest simp in the universe. kissin the ground he walks on. literally im there on the ground rn doin it do u see me.
tags <3 @figthoughts @honeyryewhiskey @titsout4jackles @deansbeer @aileenunfiltered @bluemerakis @deansbite @beausling @ultravi0lence14 @starzify @angelblqde i don't remember all my mooties to tag over here ... if u are forgotten pls take me out back n shoot me 4 this mistake.
property of the DAYLIGHTED franchise! © i do NOT give permission for my work or ideas to be used, rewritten, or reposted!
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slytherinsmuse · 6 months ago
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⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ Domestic Chaos | Draco Malfoy ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
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Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Fem! Reader
Warnings: I guess mention of sexual activity and condoms
Summary: Fluff, Comedy | Draco navigates through muggle life with the love of his life.
Word count: 8966
author's note: I am so sorry that this request took so long. But work has been hell before the holidays. Now that I have some time off I managed to finish it. I hope you like it! @malfoy-mrsdracomalfoy
The first week of living together with Draco Malfoy had been… an adjustment, to say the least.
You smiled to yourself as you wandered down the stairs of your new house, recalling the mix of chaos and charm that came in the start of sharing a home with Draco. Moving in together had been a big step, one you hadn’t expected to take so soon. But after months of navigating your relationship between your cozy Muggle world and his pristine magical one following your graduation from Hogwarts, it only made sense to create a space that was truly suited for the both of you.
Granted, the transition had been smoother for you than it had been for him.
Draco, for all his poise and pure-blood grace, had little to no experience with Muggle life. Your enchanted house—a quirky blend of his velvet armchairs and your mismatched cozy furniture—reflected that perfectly. It was a home where magical portraits coexisted with photo frames from your favorite vacations, where your television and laptop shared a shelf with his collection of ancient spell books.
It was perfect. Except for the moments where Draco had done his best to interact with Muggle appliances.
The faint sound of muffled clattering pulled you towards your kitchen, curiosity outweighing your desire to get yourself a hot mug of coffee. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you padded down the hall toward the kitchen. As you stepped through the doorway, you froze, your grogginess instantly replaced by disbelief at the sight before you.
The dishwasher, a seemingly harmless Muggle machine, stood wide open. Inside, dishes were arranged in what could only be described as abstract art. Draco stood in front of it with his wand drawn, muttering incantations under his breath. A suspiciously green, bubbling potion had been poured into the detergent slot, and—Merlin help him—a set of silver goblets that were very much not dishwasher-safe glinted proudly from the bottom rack.
“Draco.” you said carefully, crossing your arms and leaning against the doorframe, “what are you doing?”
He didn’t flinch, though his wand froze mid-air. “Using this infernal contraption you insisted on bringing into our home.” he replied, his tone clipped.
You couldn’t help the grin tugging at your lips. Our home. The words still gave you butterflies.
“This ‘infernal contraption’ is a dishwasher,” you corrected, stepping closer. “It cleans dishes. Without magic. That’s sort of the point.”
Draco huffed, a faint pink tinting his pale cheeks. “Well, it’s doing a poor job of it so far.”
“Probably because you’re trying to curse it into submission.” You peered into the dishwasher, your eyes widening. “Wait. Is that—oh my God, Draco, is that the antique goblet from your mother’s dining set?!”
He glanced at the goblet, then back at you, feigning innocence. “What? It needed cleaning.”
You groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose. “It’s over 200 years old! You can’t just throw it in a dishwasher!”
“Well, I certainly can’t hand wash it,” he said indignantly, crossing his arms. “Do you know how much trouble the preservation charms require? It’s exhausting.”
“Then maybe don’t drink wine out of a priceless artifact?”
“Then maybe don’t serve wine in cheap glass cups,” he shot back, a smug grin tugging at his lips. “It ruins the wine taste…”
You couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, fine. Touché. But seriously, what is this… potion?” You gestured to the green, bubbling mess in the detergent slot.
“It’s a universal cleaning tonic,” he said proudly. “Far superior to whatever chemical nonsense Muggles use.”
“It’s not even liquid! It’s oozing! You can’t put that in a dishwasher!”
Draco frowned, glancing back at the machine as if it had betrayed him. “So what’s the proper way, then?”
You sighed, grabbing the small box of dishwasher tablets from the counter. “Watch and learn, Pure-blood.”
With a sigh you carefully removed the bubbling mess he had poured into the detergent slot. Draco watched with a mix of curiosity and mild indignation as you wiped it clean with a paper towel.
“This,” you said, holding up one of the tablets from the box, “is what you’re supposed to use.”
Draco tilted his head, eyeing the tablet skeptically. “That tiny thing? How could that possibly clean anything?”
“It’s designed for this, Draco. It dissolves in the water and works its magic—well, not literally, but you get the idea.”
You slid the tablet into the designated compartment and snapped the dishwasher closed, pressing the buttons to set the correct cycle. “And this,” you added, pointing to the buttons, “is how you actually start it. No wand required.”
Draco’s expression was unreadable as the machine hummed to life, its rhythmic sounds filling the kitchen. After a moment, he muttered, “It still seems unnecessarily complicated.”
“Complicated? You were about to duel the dishwasher,” you teased, crossing your arms.
Draco smirked, his signature smugness returning. “And I would’ve won.”
You rolled your eyes, laughing as you leaned against the counter. “You’re hopeless.”
Before you could say more, you felt his arms snake around your waist, pulling you back against his chest. His chin rested lightly on your shoulder, and his breath tickled your neck.
“Perhaps,” he murmured, his voice softer now, “but I’m learning, aren’t I?”
You snorted, tilting your head slightly as you felt his lips brush against the curve of your neck in a featherlight kiss. “Barely,” you teased, though your tone lacked the bite to make it convincing.
Draco chuckled, the vibration of it humming against your back. His kisses trailed lazily along the side of your neck, his hands tightening ever so slightly around your waist. Just as you began to melt into his warmth, a sharp, electronic beep shattered the moment.
Draco froze, his lips pausing mid-kiss. “What in Merlin’s name was that?” he asked, his voice tense and laced with suspicion.
You laughed, turning in his arms to face him. “That’s just the washing machine.” you explained, finding his baffled expression entirely too adorable. “It beeps when it’s done with a cycle.”
Draco frowned, glancing over at the machine as if it were an intruder. “Why does it need to announce its accomplishments? It’s not as though I announce every time I complete a task.”
You raised an eyebrow, smirking. “You sure about that? Because I distinctly remember you declaring victory the last time you hung up a picture frame.”
Draco scowled, though the faint pink creeping back into his cheeks betrayed his embarrassment. “That frame was enchanted to repel nails. It was a triumph,” he muttered defensively.
You couldn’t help but laugh, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair out of his face. “Draco,” you said, still grinning, “the Muggle world is going to kill you at this rate.”
He grumbled, tightening his hold around your waist and resting his forehead against yours. “Life is unnecessarily complicated without magic,” he muttered, his tone dripping with indignation. “Why would anyone willingly choose this… process over a simple charm?”
You smirked, tilting your head. “Maybe because some of us didn’t grow up with the luxury of a wand to fix all our problems?”
Draco pulled back slightly to look at you, his lips quirking into a faint smirk. “You’re saying you willingly endured this madness? What kind of resilience do Muggles possess that I’ve clearly been deprived of?”
“Patience!”
Draco scoffed, stepping back just enough to look at you. “Patience is for people with time to waste,” he said, though the corner of his mouth twitched in amusement.
You rolled your eyes, slipping out of his arms and heading toward the counter. “Come on, your Highness,” you said over your shoulder, pulling open the breadbox. “Let’s see if you’re capable of making toast without burning it.”
Draco followed you with a mock-offended expression. “I’ll have you know I’m perfectly capable of operating a toaster,” he declared, though his hesitation as he glanced at the machine suggested otherwise.
“Uh-huh,” you replied, smirking as you slid a couple of slices into the slots. “Here, I’ll start it for you. You can handle buttering them when they’re done. Think you’re up for the challenge?”
Draco leaned against the counter, folding his arms. “You’re underestimating me again, love. I’ll butter the toast so flawlessly you’ll weep.”
You snorted, turning to grab plates from the cabinet. “Sure, let’s call that your triumph of the day.”
As the toaster clicked and the smell of warm bread filled the kitchen, Draco busied himself setting the table—his version of setting the table, which involved summoning everything with a flick of his wand and arranging it with the precision of a dinner party.
“You do realize breakfast doesn’t require formal presentation, right?” you teased, sitting down as he placed a perfectly folded napkin by your plate.
Draco smirked, sliding into the seat across from you. “Just because it’s breakfast doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be elegant.”
You couldn’t help but laugh as he reached for the now-popped toast, applying butter with such deliberate care you half-expected him to use a ruler for even distribution. Shaking your head with a soft smile, you rose from your seat and quietly grabbed a mug from the cabinet, filling it with fresh coffee from the pot on the counter.
The warm aroma filled the kitchen as you set the pot down and returned to your chair, savoring the first sip in comfortable silence. Across the table, Draco finished buttering the toast and waved his wand casually, sending the coffee pot floating over to his side. It tilted gracefully, pouring a perfectly measured amount of coffee into his mug before settling back in its spot on the counter.
You raised an eyebrow at him over the rim of your cup. “So, pouring coffee is too much effort, but you’ll put on a show buttering toast?”
Draco looked up, his expression far too smug. “Presentation matters, darling. Coffee is utility. Buttering toast is an art.”
You snorted, biting back a laugh as you leaned back in your chair. “You’re impossible.”
“And yet,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee and giving you a sly smile, “you can’t seem to get enough of me.”
“Debatable,” you shot back, though the way your lips twitched betrayed the truth.
As the two of you ate, the quiet hum of the dishwasher filled the air, mixing with the faint clinking of dishes and the comforting warmth of the morning. You couldn’t help but think that, chaotic as it was, life with Draco had its charm.
Halfway through breakfast, Draco cleared his throat, setting his mug down with a deliberate clink. “By the way,” he said nonchalantly, brushing a nonexistent crumb from his sleeve, “my parents have asked to visit for dinner this evening.”
You froze mid-sip, glancing up at him.“Tonight?” 
This wasn’t the first time Draco had invited his parents over since you’d moved in together, but it never got easier. The Malfoys had made their opinions about his choices abundantly clear. The arguments had been frequent and heated when Draco first announced his decision to move into the Muggle world. Dating mudblood, as Lucius had so delicately put it during one particularly venomous conversation, had been a sore point from the start. The disdain in their voices, though carefully masked in your presence, was never far from the surface. Still, Narcissa had tried to keep things civil, at least outwardly. Her maternal instincts, perhaps, outweighed her prejudices. Lucius, on the other hand, had never fully hidden his disapproval. The sideways glances, the veiled barbs—it all painted a clear picture. They saw your relationship as a deviation, something temporary that would inevitably pass. And yet, they remained fairly cordial in front of you, no doubt for Draco’s sake. Tonight’s visit felt like yet another test, one you were determined to pass—though it always left you walking on eggshells.
Draco nodded, as if this were the most natural announcement in the world. “Yes, tonight. Around seven, I believe.”
You blinked, setting your coffee cup down carefully. “Right,” you murmured, your mind already racing. “I’ll need to go shopping today before the shops close, then.”
Draco frowned slightly, his brow furrowing in confusion. “Shopping? Whatever for?”
“For dinner, Draco,” you replied, standing to gather your plate. “We don’t exactly have a stocked pantry suitable for hosting your parents.”
As you moved toward the sink, he waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll just send a house-elf to take care of it.”
You froze, staring at him over your shoulder. “Draco,” you said slowly, turning back toward the table, “We don’t have house-elves.”
He blinked, as though the idea hadn’t even occurred to him. “We don’t?”
“No,” you said firmly, placing your hands on your hips. “They don’t exactly come with Muggle homes, you know.”
Draco leaned back in his chair, a look of mild bemusement crossing his face. “Strange. Well, no matter—I’ll ask Father to send a couple over for the day.”
You stared at him, momentarily speechless. “You’ll what?”
He shrugged, as if this were a completely reasonable solution. “I’ll write him after breakfast. It’s hardly a problem.”
Your mouth opened, then closed again as you tried to formulate a response. Finally, you shook your head, rubbing your temples. “Draco, we are not borrowing house-elves from your dad.”
“Why not?” he asked, genuinely baffled.
“Because,” you said, sighing as you sat back down, “this is our home. I’m not dragging house-elves into it every time we have guests over. I’ll just go shopping, make a nice meal, and that’s that.”
Draco looked at you as though you’d just suggested cooking dinner over an open flame. “You’re serious?”
“Dead serious,” you replied, sipping your coffee again. “This is how Muggles do things. Welcome to the real world.”
For a moment, Draco looked as though he might argue, but then he sighed dramatically, leaning back in his chair. “Fine,” he said, his tone begrudging. “But I’m coming with you.”
You raised an eyebrow. “To the grocery store?”
“Yes, to the grocery store,” he said, his expression a mix of determination and distaste. “If I’m going to endure this… experiment, I might as well see how it works.”
Smiling, you leaned over and gave him a soft kiss. “Alright then. I’ll go get ready.”
When you returned a short while later, Draco’s gaze immediately fell on the several empty shopping bags you were holding. His brows knitted together in confusion, but to his credit, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he simply followed your every movement with the intensity of someone trying to solve an unspeakable mystery.
You set the bags by the door and reached for the keys to the house, slipping them into your pocket before pulling on your shoes. Draco’s confusion deepened. “What are you doing?”
“Getting ready to leave,” you said, nonchalantly tying your laces.
Draco raised a perfectly arched brow. “And how exactly are we planning to get there? Apparition or Floo Powder?”
You snorted softly, shaking your head. “Neither.”
“Neither?” he repeated, the word dripping with disbelief.
“We’re walking,” you said matter-of-factly, straightening up and grabbing the empty bags.
Draco blinked, his expression torn between incredulity and exasperation. “Walking? Why on earth would we walk when we could be there in seconds?”
“Because,” you explained patiently, “the shop is close by, and it would be weird to just appear in the middle of it. Muggles don’t take kindly to people popping out of thin air near the frozen food aisle.”
Draco stared at you as if you’d just suggested climbing a mountain for fun. “This is madness,” he declared.
You laughed, patting his arm as you opened the door. “Consider it part of the full Muggle experience.”
Still grumbling under his breath about the absurdity of it all, Draco stepped outside with you, his silver hair catching the sunlight as he scanned the street. “Walking,” he muttered again, shaking his head. “What will they think of next?”
You only smirked, knowing the real fun was yet to come. Draco laced his fingers with yours as you stepped out into the crisp winter air, the snow crunching softly beneath your boots. He pulled you closer as you walked, his warm breath visible in the cold. The streets were lined with houses adorned with twinkling lights, wreaths on doors, and the occasional snowman standing proudly in a yard.
“I could’ve taken the car,” you said casually, glancing up at him, “but I don’t think you’re ready to experience traffic yet.”
Draco gave you a pointed look, though his lips twitched with faint amusement. “If it’s anything like the stories you’ve told me, I’d rather not risk my sanity—or my temper.”
You laughed softly, nudging him with your shoulder. “That’s probably for the best. One honking horn, and you’d be out of there faster than you could say ‘Pure-blood.’”
He sighed, his gaze drifting to the bustling scenery around him. The sidewalks were busy with people bundled in coats and scarves, some carrying shopping bags, others chatting cheerfully. There was a warmth to it all—a vibrancy that was so different from the cold, quiet grandeur of the Malfoy Manor.
“For all the stupidity the Muggle world has to offer,” Draco murmured, his voice thoughtful, “I’ll admit… I do enjoy how lively it is.”
You glanced up at him, surprised by the rare vulnerability in his tone. “Lively?”
He nodded, his icy eyes catching the glint of the snow-covered streets. “The manor was… beautiful, I suppose. Grand. But it was so isolated. Mostly empty land, save for the occasional visitor or house-elf passing by. There was nothing like this—” he gestured to the people around you, the soft hum of life that filled the air. “—no life, no… warmth.”
Your heart softened at his words, and you squeezed his hand gently. “Well, you’ve got that now,” you said, smiling up at him. “Even if it comes with grocery shopping and dishwashers.”
Draco smirked, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your forehead. “It’s a compromise I’m willing to make,” he said, his voice teasing but sincere.
As the two of you continued walking, the snowflakes began to fall again, dusting the streets and your hair in a light layer of white. Draco tightened his hold on your hand, the moment between you quiet and peaceful as the world around you bustled with life.
As you approached the grocery store, you reached into your pocket and pulled out a coin, flipping it between your fingers before sliding it into the lock on a row of shopping carts. With a satisfying click, the cart popped free, and you grabbed it, turning to Draco with a smile.
He stared at the cart, then at you, his brow furrowing. “What in Merlin’s name are you doing?”
You laughed softly, gesturing to the coin slot on the cart. “It’s how you unlock them. You put in a coin, and when you’re done, you get it back.”
Draco’s confusion deepened as he examined the contraption with a critical eye. “Why would you need to pay for a cart? Isn’t that the store’s responsibility? Do you lose the money if you don’t return it?”
“Yes, you only lose the money if you don’t return it.” you explained, suppressing a giggle at his baffled expression. “It’s just a system to make sure people don’t leave the carts all over the parking lot… or steal them”
He tilted his head, considering this. “So, Muggles have to bribe themselves to do the responsible thing?”
“Pretty much,” you said with a shrug, trying not to laugh at the sheer disdain in his voice.
Draco narrowed his eyes at the cart as if it had personally offended him. “What a pitifully inefficient system,” he muttered, shaking his head. “Why not just enchant the carts to return themselves?”
You snorted, wheeling the cart toward the entrance. “Because not everyone has magic, Draco. This works just fine.”
He fell into step beside you, still looking slightly affronted. “I should write to the Ministry. There has to be some sort of international wizarding intervention for this level of absurdity.”
You smirked, patting his arm as you entered the store. “You do that. In the meantime, try not to hex anything while we shop.”
Draco grumbled something under his breath but followed you inside, his sharp gaze taking in the bright fluorescent lights, the neatly stacked shelves, and the bustling crowd. “This is going to be an experience,” he muttered.
“You have no idea,” you replied with a grin, steering the cart toward the produce section.
You wheeled the cart through the store, stopping in the produce aisle to grab fresh herbs and vegetables for the roast dinner. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched Draco wander a few steps away, picking up various food items and squinting at the labels like he was deciphering ancient runes. It was adorable, really, but you couldn’t help but focus on your shopping. As you mentally ran through your list, you zigzagged through aisles, tossing essentials into the cart—seasoning, potatoes, stock, bread. Before you knew it, you were in the snacks aisle, debating between crisps and popcorn.
That’s when you realized it. Draco was gone. You glanced around, craning your neck to see if you could spot his silver-blond hair anywhere in the sea of shoppers. Nothing. You sighed, silently praying he hadn’t decided to duel the automatic doors or try to interrogate the self-checkout machine. Just as you picked up a bag of crisps, you heard his unmistakable voice behind you.
“Look at this!” he said, sounding thoroughly impressed.
You turned around, and there he was—holding a bright yellow plastic broom.
“They have brooms here!” he said, turning it over in his hands as if he’d stumbled upon the latest innovation in flying technology. “Never seen one like this… must be a new model.”
You froze, staring at him, your lips twitching as you struggled to keep it together. “A new model?” you repeated, barely managing to suppress a laugh.
Draco nodded, completely serious. “It’s so lightweight. And this handle… not wood, but some kind of sturdy Muggle material. I’ve no idea where the charms are hidden, though.” He ran his fingers along the bristles, frowning slightly. “Odd design, but maybe it improves aerodynamics?”
You pressed a hand to your mouth, fighting to keep your laughter under control. “Draco… that’s not… it’s not a flying broom.”
He blinked, his expression shifting from curiosity to confusion. “What do you mean? It’s a broom. What else could it be used for?”
“It’s for cleaning,” you managed, your voice trembling with suppressed laughter. “Muggles use it to sweep floors.”
Draco stared at the broom, then at you, then back at the broom. “You’re joking.”
“Nope,” you said, finally letting out a small giggle. “That’s about as far from a flying broom as you can get.”
Draco’s face twisted into a mixture of horror and disappointment as he looked at the broom again. “They’ve completely ruined it,” he declared, setting it back on the shelf with a level of disdain usually reserved for cursed objects. “What’s the point of a broom that doesn’t fly?”
You couldn’t hold it in anymore and burst out laughing, earning a few amused glances from other shoppers. “Oh, Draco,” you said between giggles, grabbing his arm. “Come on. Let’s get the rest of what we need before you find something else to ‘improve.’”
You couldn’t stop grinning as you watched Draco hover near the cleaning aisle, his gaze fixed on a row of mops. He tilted his head, his brow furrowing as he gingerly poked at the mop’s sponge end.
“What’s this for?” he asked, holding it up like it was a weapon he needed to disarm.
You chuckled, wheeling the cart closer. “That’s a mop. Muggles use it to clean floors—specifically, to scrub them when they’re wet or dirty.”
Draco’s lips parted in disbelief, and he blinked at you as if you’d just told him people used quills to sew fabric. “You’re telling me… they manually drag this thing around on the floor instead of just casting a Scouring Charm?”
“Pretty much,” you replied with a shrug, struggling to keep a straight face.
He shook his head slowly, muttering under his breath, “Primitive. Absolutely primitive.”
After returning the mop to its place like it had personally offended him, he stuck closer to your side for the rest of the trip, steering the shopping cart with surprising enthusiasm. At first, he pushed it tentatively, testing its movement, but before long, he was zipping down the aisles like a child with a new toy.
“Draco,” you called after him, trying not to laugh as he gave the cart a small push and watched it glide forward. “It’s not a racing broom.”
“Of course not,” he said, smirking but not stopping. “It’s much slower.”
Despite his antics, he peppered you with questions as you continued shopping, picking up random items and holding them out for inspection.
“And this?” he asked, holding up a box of instant pudding mix.
“It’s dessert. You mix it with milk, and it thickens into pudding.”
He frowned. “No wand required?”
“No wand required,” you confirmed, tossing the box into the cart.
He sighed dramatically, moving on to the next item. “And this?”
“A tin opener. It opens cans.”
Draco’s expression fell further. “What’s wrong with an Opening Charm?”
“Not everyone has one, Draco,” you said patiently, biting back a laugh as his disappointment deepened.
Item after item, his curiosity turned into sheer disillusionment. “Muggles really have to work this hard for everything, don’t they?” he muttered, picking up a manual whisk and giving it a dubious glance.
You smirked, taking it from him and placing it in the cart. “It’s not all bad. You’re surviving, aren’t you?”
“Barely,” he replied, pushing the cart forward with a little more flair than necessary.
By the time you made it to the checkout line, Draco had perfected his ‘long-suffering Pure-blood enduring the trials of the Muggle world’ expression, but you couldn’t help but notice the occasional glint of fascination in his eyes as he took in the bustling store around him. You were focused on unloading the cart, placing items neatly onto the till conveyor belt while Draco hovered a safe distance away from the machine. His cautious glances at the moving belt made it clear he wasn’t entirely convinced it wasn’t alive. Out of nowhere, he called your name, and you turned just in time for him to shove a small box into your face.
“What is this then?” he asked, his tone a mix of curiosity and bewilderment.
You froze, your eyes widening as you recognized the box of condoms he was holding with an almost clinical detachment. Your face turned scarlet in an instant.
“Draco!” you hissed, snatching the box from his hand and glancing around to see if anyone had overheard.
“What?” he asked, genuinely confused, tilting his head as he looked down at you. “What are they for? Some kind of… candy perhaps?”
You swallowed hard, trying to find the right words without alerting the nearby cashier or the couple in line behind you. Pulling Draco closer by the sleeve of his coat, you whispered urgently, “They’re… for, um, protection. During, uh, intimate moments.”
Draco’s brows furrowed, his confusion only deepening. “Protection? From what? Are Muggles frequently attacked during—oh.”
The realization dawned on his face, his pale cheeks tinging pink as he took a slight step back. He cleared his throat, glancing at the box still in your hand. “I see. That’s… efficient, I suppose.”
You groaned, pressing a hand to your burning face. “Can we please not discuss this here?”
Draco, however, seemed more intrigued than embarrassed now. “Do they… work reliably? Or—how do you even put it on?”
“Draco!” you hissed again, cutting him off as you stuffed the box back onto the shelf behind you.
He smirked at your reaction, leaning closer and lowering his voice. “You’re blushing, darling. It’s adorable.”
“Because you just asked about condoms in the middle of a grocery store,” you muttered, turning back to continue unloading the cart, your face still burning.
Draco chuckled softly, clearly finding your embarrassment far too amusing. He stayed quiet for a moment, but out of the corner of your eye, you noticed him lingering by the shelf where he’d found the box. His eyes narrowed in concentration as he examined the options: strawberry, ribbed, ultra-thin. Before you could say anything, he plucked one off the shelf and, with exaggerated caution, tossed it onto the conveyor belt from a distance, as if it might attack him.
You blinked at him, your confusion only growing as you stared at the box sitting innocently amidst the rest of your groceries. “Draco… what are you doing?”
He avoided your gaze, suddenly very interested in straightening his coat. “What? I want to try them,” he mumbled, his voice almost innocent.
You bit back a laugh, shaking your head as you leaned closer to whisper, “Draco, you do realize these aren’t, like, some kind of Muggle novelty item, right?”
He finally glanced at you, his pale cheeks tinged with pink. “I’m perfectly aware,” he said, straightening his posture. “I just… want to see what all the fuss is about.”
You covered your face with your hand, torn between exasperation and laughter. “You are unbelievable.”
The cashier began scanning the items, and Draco, determined to prove himself useful, did his best to place them into the bags you had handed him. His movements were deliberate and almost comically precise, as if packing groceries was a skill to be mastered.
You watched with quiet amusement as he gingerly placed eggs into a bag, his face a mask of concentration. He only paused when the cashier announced the total and you pulled out a card to pay.
Draco’s eyes widened, his gaze darting between you and the small machine where you inserted the card. “That’s how you pay?” he murmured, half to himself.
“Yup,” you replied, suppressing a grin as the machine beeped, signaling the transaction was complete.
But what truly left him speechless was the receipt. The small slip of paper emerged from a hidden compartment with a faint whirring sound, and Draco stepped back slightly, his brow furrowing in suspicion.
“What now?” you asked, noticing his confusion.
He pointed at the receipt, his voice low and serious. “Is it enchanted?”
You chuckled, taking the receipt and tucking it into your pocket. “No, Draco, it’s just a record of what we bought. No magic involved.”
He said nothing, though his expression suggested he wasn’t entirely convinced.
Once outside, with the shopping bags evenly distributed between you, Draco slid an arm around your waist, pulling you close as you walked through the snowy streets. His grip was firm and grounding, but his face was set in a deep, pensive frown. You glanced up at him, his furrowed brows and slightly parted lips betraying the whirlwind of thoughts in his mind. Deciding not to interrupt, you pressed yourself closer to his side, letting your head rest lightly against the side of his chest. The walk home was quiet, save for the crunch of snow beneath your boots. Draco remained silent, processing the bizarre journey into Muggle life. You didn’t push him, knowing he’d speak when he was ready—or maybe not at all. By the time you reached your house, his frown had softened, though his eyes still had a far-off look. As you unlocked the door and stepped inside, you caught the faintest glimmer of a smirk tugging at his lips.
“Next time,” he said as he set the bags down, his tone a mix of humor and resignation, “I’ll handle the receipt.”
You busied yourself in the kitchen, determined to make a flawless roast dinner for Draco’s parents. You knew they weren’t particularly fond of you or the fact that Draco was immersing himself in the Muggle world. Still, you were set on showing them that you belonged in Draco’s life, no matter how many raised eyebrows they threw your way. Draco leaned casually against the counter, arms crossed as he watched you work. His silver hair caught the warm light of the kitchen, and though his expression remained neutral, you could tell he was intrigued. You chopped, seasoned, and kneaded everything by hand, and it was clear he wasn’t used to such a process.
“You really do all of this without magic?” he asked, his voice tinged with curiosity.
“Yup,” you replied, sprinkling some herbs over the potatoes. “From scratch. It’s not so bad once you get the hang of it.”
Draco hummed in response, clearly not convinced but unwilling to argue. The quiet shuffling of aluminum caught your attention, and you glanced over your shoulder.
What you saw nearly made you drop the salt shaker.
Draco stood there holding an unpackaged, rolled-up condom in his hands, a deep frown etched on his face. He was holding it between his fingers like it was a particularly slimy slug, his lips curling in disgust.
You bit back a laugh, trying to focus on the potatoes as you replied casually, “You have to unroll it.”
“Aha,” Draco mumbled, clearly no less confused, as he turned and disappeared into the other room.
You shook your head, unable to stop the grin spreading across your face. For a moment, the kitchen was quiet again, save for the sound of the roast sizzling in the oven. Then came muffled grumbles from the other room.
It didn’t take long for Draco to reappear, still holding the condom. His face was a mix of defeat and lingering disgust as he held it up. “I have no idea how this thing works,” he admitted, his voice low. “And why does it feel so… disgustingly slimy?”
You couldn’t help it—you burst out laughing, clutching the counter for support as tears sprang to your eyes. “Oh my God, Draco,” you managed between fits of laughter.
He scowled, tossing the condom onto the counter as if washing his hands of the whole ordeal. “It’s not funny!”
“It is!” you replied, wiping at your eyes. “You look like you’ve been wrestling with it!”
Draco sniffed, clearly unimpressed. “I don’t understand how Muggles deal with this nonsense. Magical contraceptives are far less… revolting.” He glanced down at the discarded condom with a look of pure disdain. “It couldn’t even go on.”
You bit your lip, barely holding back your laughter as you stepped closer to him. Reaching up, you cupped his cheek gently, guiding his attention back to you. His silver eyes softened slightly, his frown easing as you leaned in and kissed him softly, your lips lingering against his just long enough to distract him from his frustration.
When you pulled back, your voice was low, your tone teasing. “You need to be… excited for it to work, Draco.”
Draco blinked, his cheeks immediately flushing a soft pink. He straightened, his usual composure cracking for a brief moment as he processed your words. “Excited?” he echoed, his voice slightly higher than usual.
You grinned, brushing past him to check on the roast in the oven. “That’s right,” you said casually, as if you hadn’t just sent his mind spinning.
Draco stood frozen for a moment, glancing back at the discarded condom as if it had betrayed him yet again. Then, he turned to you, his voice laced with indignation. “You could have told me that earlier instead of letting me wrestle with it like some kind of fool!”
You laughed, glancing at him over your shoulder. “Where’s the fun in that?”
Draco huffed, crossing his arms as he leaned against the counter once more, his pink cheeks still betraying him. “Muggles,” he muttered under his breath, though there was a faint, reluctant smirk tugging at his lips.
“Alright, Malfoy” you teased, brushing your hands off on a towel. “Go set the table before your parents get here, and I promise no more surprises. For now.”
Draco gave you a mock glare before turning to do as you asked, his mutterings about Muggle nonsense fading as he left the kitchen. You chuckled to yourself, shaking your head as you returned to your cooking. Living with Draco was chaotic, but moments like this reminded you just how much you loved having him in your world—even if he’d never quite understand all of it.
The table was set perfectly, as if Draco had spent as much time arranging it as you had cooking. You took a deep breath, smoothing your hands over your clothes as the knock on the door echoed through the flat. Draco opened it with his usual composed grace, greeting his parents with a stiff nod.
Narcissa stepped inside first, her expression polite but guarded as she glanced around the house. “Draco,” she said softly, pulling him into a quick hug. Her gaze flicked to you, and she offered a small, tight smile. “Y/N.”
“Mrs. Malfoy,” you greeted, doing your best to keep your voice steady.
Lucius followed behind her, his sharp features betraying nothing but disdain as he surveyed his surroundings. He inclined his head slightly toward you, though his lips never moved to form a greeting. It was clear that he was only here under duress, likely at Narcissa’s insistence.
“Do come in,” Draco said, stepping aside and gesturing toward the dining room.
As everyone settled at the table, the tension was palpable. Narcissa sat with perfect posture, her delicate hands folded neatly in her lap, while Lucius sat rigid, his cane resting against the table. His icy gaze swept the room, his disdain evident in every furrow of his brow.
Draco, however, seemed unbothered. He stood proudly, bringing out the food you had spent all afternoon preparing. He set the dishes on the table with a flourish, clearing his throat. “Dinner is served,” he announced, his voice filled with pride. “And before you ask—yes, it was cooked entirely without magic or the help of house-elves.”
Narcissa’s brows lifted slightly, a spark of genuine surprise in her eyes. “Really?” she asked, glancing at the dishes. “That’s quite impressive.”
Lucius, on the other hand, let out a scoff, his lips curling into a faint sneer. “Why anyone would willingly endure such a process is beyond me,” he muttered, earning a sharp glance from his wife.
You bit your tongue, focusing on serving the food as Draco sat down beside you, clearly unfazed by his father’s comment. The meal began in awkward silence, the only sounds coming from the clinking of cutlery and the occasional scrape of a chair.
Finally, Narcissa broke the quiet, turning to her son with a warm, curious smile. “So, Draco, what did you do today?”
Draco sat up straighter, his face lighting up as he launched into an enthusiastic recount of the grocery store trip. “We went to this… Muggle establishment,” he began, his voice carrying a mix of awe and incredulity. “You wouldn’t believe it, Mother. Rows upon rows of food and supplies, all sorted into sections. It was fascinating.”
Narcissa listened intently, her eyes softening as he spoke. “That does sound rather intriguing,” she said, her tone genuine.
Draco continued, describing the shopping cart, the conveyor belt, and the curious beeping machine at the till. “And did you know they have these tiny coins you put into the carts to unlock them?” he added, gesturing animatedly.
Lucius let out a low groan, pinching the bridge of his nose as if Draco’s enthusiasm was physically painful. “I fail to see the appeal,” he muttered under his breath, casting a glance toward the window as though contemplating apparating away.
You stifled a laugh, watching the stark contrast between Draco’s animated storytelling, Narcissa’s interest, and Lucius’s clear misery.
“I even packed the bags,” Draco added proudly. “It’s a ridiculous system, but I managed.”
Narcissa smiled warmly, her pride evident. “I’m glad to see you adapting so well, Draco. It’s important to understand how others live, even if it’s different from what we’re used to.”
Lucius muttered something unintelligible, his knuckles whitening as he gripped his cane.
Draco turned to you, his eyes bright with satisfaction. “See, love? Mother appreciates it.”
You smiled back, your heart warming at his excitement. “She does,” you said softly, glancing at Narcissa, who nodded in agreement.
Lucius, however, simply sighed, leaning back in his chair with a resigned expression. “Let us hope this… experiment of yours doesn’t last too long,” he said, his tone dripping with disdain.
Draco’s jaw tightened slightly, but he kept his composure, reaching for your hand under the table. His fingers squeezed yours briefly, a silent reassurance that he didn’t care what his father thought. The rest of the meal continued with a mix of awkward small talk and Draco’s detailed observations of the Muggle world. Though Lucius remained unimpressed, Narcissa’s quiet encouragement made the effort feel worthwhile. As the conversation wound down and the plates were nearly cleared, Draco suddenly leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingers thoughtfully on the table. His sharp blue eyes glimmered with something unreadable, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.
“I have something to show you,” he muttered, his tone casual but with a hint of mischief.
You blinked, momentarily caught off guard. “What is it?” you asked cautiously, your brow furrowing as you tried to guess what he could possibly be up to now.
Draco stood up, strolling out of the dining room with the air of someone retrieving an important artifact. Lucius and Narcissa exchanged puzzled glances, while you felt a flicker of dread creeping up your spine. He returned a moment later, holding a familiar box in his hand.
Your heart sank as your face turned beet red. No. No, no, no, no.
He placed the box of condoms on the table, directly in front of you, and tilted his head with a curious smirk. “You never explained properly,” he said smoothly, though the faint pink on his cheeks betrayed his nonchalant demeanor. “I think it’s time I fully understood how they work.”
The silence in the room was deafening.
Lucius froze mid-sip of his wine, his expression a mixture of horror and disbelief. Narcissa’s lips parted slightly as her eyes darted between the box and her son. Meanwhile, you felt your soul leaving your body as your entire face burned hotter than the roast in the oven earlier.
“Draco,” you hissed, your voice a mix of mortification and desperation. “Not now.”
“Why not?” he asked innocently, his smirk widening as he clearly enjoyed your discomfort. “You said it was important to understand Muggle things if I am living here.”
Narcissa cleared her throat delicately, clearly trying to suppress a laugh. “Draco, darling, perhaps this is a… conversation better suited for another time,” she said, her voice calm but tinged with amusement.
Lucius, on the other hand, looked like he was ready to sink into the ground. “For Salazar’s sake, Draco!” he snapped, his pale face turning an uncharacteristic shade of red. “Have you lost all sense of decorum?”
Draco shrugged, unbothered. “I was merely curious, Father. Isn’t that what this move is about—understanding?”
You buried your face in your hands, groaning. “I’m going to die,” you muttered under your breath.
Draco leaned closer to you, his smirk softening into something almost endearing. “Don’t be dramatic,” he said quietly. “It’s just a box. Besides, you’re the one who said they’re important.”
“Not during dinner with your parents!” you shot back in a harsh whisper.
Narcissa stood gracefully, reaching for her wine glass and glancing at Lucius, who was visibly seething. “Perhaps we should take a moment to admire the décor in the living room,” she suggested, her tone light but firm. “Give them a moment to… collect themselves.”
Lucius rose quickly, eager to escape the situation, and followed her out without another word.
As soon as they were out of earshot, you turned to Draco, glaring at him through your lingering embarrassment. “What is wrong with you?”
He grinned, his pale cheeks still faintly pink. “I couldn’t resist.”
“Draco,” you groaned, covering your face with your hands. But despite your mortification, a reluctant laugh bubbled up, escaping your lips.
Draco chuckled softly, nudging you playfully with his elbow. “Hey,” he said, his voice laced with mischief. “It looks like my parents knew exactly what the box contained.”
You groaned louder, shaking your head as you peeked at him from between your fingers. “Why are you like this?”
“Because it’s more fun than I had ever experienced in my life,” he replied, smirking. “And because your reactions are priceless.”
You swatted his arm lightly, biting your lip to keep from laughing again. “You’re going to pay for this later.”
“Oh, I’m counting on it,” Draco said smoothly, leaning back in his chair with an infuriatingly smug expression.
You shook your head, standing to start clearing the table. “Unbelievable,” you muttered, though the corners of your mouth twitched despite your best efforts to remain stern.
Draco stood as well, grabbing a plate and following you to the kitchen. “For what it’s worth,” he said, his tone softening slightly, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen my mother look that impressed. You’re winning her over, you know.”
You glanced at him, your irritation melting a little as you caught the sincerity in his eyes. “Maybe,” you said with a small smile. “But your dad looks like he’s ready to disown you.”
Draco shrugged, setting the plate down on the counter. “He’ll survive. I’d say this visit is going better than expected.”
You arched an eyebrow, gesturing toward the box still sitting on the table. “Even with that little stunt?”
He smirked, leaning closer to press a quick kiss to your cheek. “Especially because of that,” he whispered.
You rolled your eyes, but your smile lingered as you turned back to the dishes. Life with Draco was unpredictable, embarrassing, and absolutely worth it.
After a while, with the kitchen cleaned and dessert plates neatly arranged, you rejoined Draco’s parents in the living room. You placed the cake and a small pot of tea on the coffee table, smiling as Narcissa complimented the presentation. “It looks lovely, dear,” she said warmly, her eyes lighting up as she tasted the first bite. “And delicious.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Malfoy,” you replied, feeling a small wave of relief at her approval.
Meanwhile, Draco stood by the TV, flicking it on with the remote. The screen lit up, filling the room with sound and color. He had been obsessed with it ever since the two of you moved in, constantly exploring its features and marveling at the variety of channels.
“And this,” he began, gesturing to the screen, “is called a television. It’s a Muggle device that streams moving pictures and sound. There are different stations—some show plays or sports, others music or news.”
Lucius, who had been seated stiffly on the sofa, cast the TV a disinterested glance at first. But as Draco flipped through the channels, his gaze lingered, his eyes narrowing in a mixture of curiosity and intrigue.
Draco settled on a music channel, where a pop song played over vibrant, fast-moving visuals. Lucius leaned forward slightly, his cane forgotten at his side as his eyes remained glued to the screen.
Narcissa, meanwhile, sipped her tea and turned to you with a soft smile. “The cake is truly wonderful, Y/N. You’ve outdone yourself.”
“Thank you,” you murmured, glancing at Lucius, whose face was now bathed in the colorful glow of the TV. Draco was explaining the concept of music videos, his voice carrying a mix of excitement and pride.
“And these stations,” Draco said, pointing to the remote, “play music continuously. The visuals match the songs—like this one, see?”
Lucius didn’t respond immediately, his eyes fixed on the screen as if he were analyzing every detail. Eventually, he gave a slow nod. “Remarkable,” he muttered under his breath, clearly fascinated despite his obvious disdain for anything muggle.
Narcissa glanced at him with a knowing smile but said nothing, letting her husband enjoy his unexpected discovery.
After a while, Narcissa stood gracefully, placing her empty teacup on the table and smoothing the fabric of her elegant robe. “It’s getting late,” she said gently, her tone warm but firm. “We should be heading home.”
Lucius didn’t move. His gaze remained fixed on the television, where a lively music video was playing. His normally composed expression was slightly softened, his eyes darting between the screen and the remote in Draco’s hand.
“Lucius,” Narcissa prompted, her voice holding a hint of exasperation. “It’s time to go.”
He finally tore his gaze away from the screen, his brows furrowing slightly. “Yes, yes, in a moment,” he muttered, waving a hand dismissively as if he needed just a little more time to understand the contraption.
Draco smirked, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed. “I think he likes it,” he whispered to you, his voice filled with amusement.
Narcissa gave you a knowing glance, her lips twitching into a faint smile before turning back to her husband. “Lucius,” she said again, a bit more firmly this time, “we’re leaving. Now.”
Lucius sighed dramatically, rising from the sofa but casting the TV one last, reluctant glance. “I suppose,” he said, his voice tinged with regret, “we can continue exploring this… device another time.”
You exchanged goodbyes at the door, Narcissa giving you a soft pat on the arm and a smile that felt almost maternal. Lucius remained as formal as ever, though there was an unusual glint in his eye as he glanced at the living room one last time.
As the two of them stepped outside, you lingered by the door with Draco. The crisp night air carried the faint sound of their voices as they walked toward the apparition point.
“You know,” Lucius muttered to Narcissa, his voice carrying just enough for you to catch, “we should consider getting one of those televisions for the manor.”
Narcissa’s laugh was soft but unmistakable. “I’ll make the arrangements,” she replied, her tone indulgent.
Draco closed the door, leaning against it with a triumphant smirk. “See?” he said, turning to you. “It wasn’t so bad.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “I think you just converted your father into a TV enthusiast.”
“Not bad for one evening,” Draco said, wrapping an arm around your waist. “Though I’d say the real victory was your cake. Well done, love.”
You smiled, leaning up to give him a gentle kiss. “Thanks, but I think your TV demonstration might’ve been the real winner tonight.”
He smirked, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “Of course. I am rather persuasive.”
Shaking your head with a laugh, you turned off the living room lights—a concept Draco still found mildly perplexing. He mumbled something about how inconvenient switches were compared to a simple wand flick as you guided him upstairs to your bedroom.
By the time you finished washing up and changed into your pajamas, Draco was already tucked under the covers. The glow from his nightlight—a softly enchanted orb you’d insisted on for his comfort—bathed the room in a warm, golden hue.
You paused at the vanity, applying cream to your face while sneaking a glance at him through the mirror. He was sitting upright, his brow furrowed as he read the label on the back of the box of condoms. His lips moved faintly as if he were trying to work out some sort of  instructions.
Biting back a laugh, you shook your head and turned off the main lights, leaving only the dim glow of his nightlight. Crawling into bed beside him, you couldn’t resist teasing him.
“Still trying to figure that out?” you asked, propping yourself up on one elbow.
Draco looked over at you, holding up the box with a faint smirk. “The instructions are absurdly detailed for something so… basic.”
You chuckled, resting your head on the pillow. “I’m not sure what you expected. Magic?”
“Honestly, yes,” he replied, setting the box on the nightstand and settling under the covers. “Everything’s unnecessarily complicated without it.”
You leaned over, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Well, if it gets too overwhelming, just remember—I’m here to guide you through it.”
Draco turned to you, his smirk softening into something warmer. “I’ll hold you to that,” he murmured, brushing a thumb lightly over your hand before pulling you closer.
As the nightlight cast its soft glow over the room, you snuggled into his side, grateful for the quiet comfort of the moment. Life with Malfoy was a whirlwind, but here, in the stillness of your shared space, everything felt just right. Draco was silent for a while, though you could feel him thinking, his body slightly tense beneath yours. Finally, his voice broke the quiet, soft and hesitant. “Could you show me how to use them? Tonight?”
You lifted your head to look at him, his silver eyes meeting yours, a faint blush creeping into his cheeks. Leaning in, you placed a soft kiss to his lips, lingering just long enough to reassure him. When you pulled back, you smiled gently, your voice a quiet whisper.
“Of course.”
The room fell into a quiet calm, the only sounds the faint rustle of the sheets as you moved closer to him. Draco’s arms wrapped around you, his touch steady and warm. Life in the muggle world had turned out to be far more surprising than Draco had ever expected. It wasn’t as grand or as effortless as the magical life he’d always known, but there was something about it—something real, unpolished, and oddly comforting.
Though, as he discovered later that night, the condoms were nothing special after all.
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© slytherinsmuse. please do not copy, claim, translate or steal any of my works as your own.
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banamine-bananime · 1 year ago
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Growing up I lived in an area with a lot of cattle farming and I was very scared of the cows. Do you have any cool facts that will make me either more or less afraid of cows?
oh hmm let me think on that!
facts related to how to interact with cows so all parties feel and stay safe:
they have a very prey herd animal mentality. they want to move with their herdmates. they want to watch any potential threats like people and move away from them. they don't like loud or unfamiliar noises (they're sensitive souls. sometimes if i visit a dairy wearing waterproof coveralls where the cows are only used to people wearing cotton coveralls, just the whisper of waterproof pants rubbing against each other can spook them) or abrupt movements or going into areas they can't see well (and they have difficulty with depth perception due to their wide-set eyes for 300 degree vision, and with high-contrast, so going from sun into shade or vice versa can look like stepping into a white or black void for them and they don't like it)
based on this, we know the keys to low-stress cattle handling are consistency in how you interact with them, calmness (small movements, quiet words to let them know you're there), moving cows in groups big enough to have friends but small enough you can control the whole group without them milling around or the ones in front stopping and causing a traffic jam, and slowly moving them by just barely getting in their "bubble" of "whoa, you're a little too close for comfort, i'm going to move in the other direction" without ever getting into their "YIKES RUN AWAY FROM THIS THING" bubble
the last point involves understanding pressure and flight zones and point of balance:
from Mississippi State University Extension:
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from grandin.com (highly recommend as a source of information about animal behaviour and welfare!!! temple grandin my idol since i was like nine i love her so. and i tear up when i think about how much she's done for millions of animals ;_; she's a genius and no lie revolutionized low-stress handling):
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pet cows that get doted on enough to bond with people may not see people as a threat so the normal ways we use pressure zones to iinteract with cows don't necessarily do anything for them. you would lead them more like a horse, using a halter. or lure them with treats.
beef cows typically have little contact with people, often just processing (vaccines, preg checks, quick exam for any health problems) a couple times a year, so they can be very wild. doesn't mean they're aggressive, the overwhelming majority are non-aggressive but they have very large flight zones, so if you don't recognize that and approach too quickly, getting deep in their flight zone, that can get you into a dangerous situation where they get aggressive as a last resort. that said, they do usually still choose flight unless their calf is with them. "never get between mom and baby" applies as it does with any species
dairy cows are in between beef cows and pet cows. they interact with people regularly, several times per day, and it's respectful but not doting. kind of a business relationship with their handlers. they're not terrified of people by any means, but they haven't been, like, hand-fed treats to get over their instinctive wariness of potential-predator-like animals, and they know sometimes handling results in unpleasant experiences like medical treatment or pregnancy checks, so they avoid touch and have a flight zone, though it's small (and sometimes they'll calmly let you walk right up to them unrestrained, or approach you and lick you out of curiosity). very very rare to have an aggressive dairy cow (as in, one that attacks you instead of moving away when you're bothering them a little. really bothering them and ignoring body language when they can't move away is much more likely to get you kicked)
bulls are not docile. not every bull will be aggressive, but you should assume that every bull has the capacity to become aggressive with little provocation, and always keep a respectful distance and know your escape route if you have to be in a pen or field with them
cows love exploring with their tongues. any time you're in a dairy barn there's gonna be at least one friendly girl mlem mlem mlemming who won't leave you alone
adding on to the above, there is a slight caveat that you still have to be a LITTLE wary of friendly cows. 99% of the time they're just friendly but sometimes cows in heat will try to mount people. you don't have to be scared of friendly cows but if they're right next to you just keep them in your line of sight so you can move away if they make like they're going to mount. again, not common, never happened to me, but something to be aware of
signs of a happy, relaxed cow: lying down, chewing cud or eating, tail hanging down relaxed, moving slowly with her herd
signs of a slightly wary cow (you have entered the "pressure zone"): standing still/stopping what she's doing, turning towards you, ears turning towards you (watching the ears is a very good way of knowing what she's paying attention to), tail swishing or raised a bit away from body
signs of a distressed cow: vocalizing (they also moo for other reasons though), tail swishing, fidgeting/pawing/looking like she wants to move but doesn't know where to, freezing up and intermittently making erratic movements (back away a little)
signs of an aggressive cow: head down with attention on you, pawing ground, turning to show you their broad side. (turn sideways and calmly but swiftly walk away diagonally)
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jetblack4realz · 9 months ago
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the sweetest of loves - jacaerys velaryon
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i'm living for fluffy modern jace rn honestly you're gonna love me for this
low key same au as my last one, just a few years later - more will come of this as well, i'm loving it haha
word count: 5.2k
______________________________________________________________
when you talked with jace about transferring to the essos school of literature instead of attending king's landing university with him again he was entirely supportive.
"you have to do it," he insisted, glancing between you and the 'accept' button at the bottom of the email. his smile was wide as he nodded at you, hand covering yours on the table. "you have to. you've been dreaming about going here for years."
"but, i already have a life here, jace, with you," you objected, brows furrowed as you leaned back in your chair. "i have friends and i like what i'm studying. i've only got two years left."
"it's just a study abroad year," he told you with a light smile. "you'll still graduate from KLU, you'll just have all this new experience to go along with it. it'll be okay."
"are you sure?" you asked.
"positive. you'll never forgive yourself if you don't go," he said, squeezing your hand comfortingly. "i think you should go."
and so you'd clicked that 'accept' button and shipped off to northern italy a month later.
you sent pictures of everything when you arrived, and a video of you and your roommate lisy who was studying in america at nyu originally. she was the most bubbly person you'd ever met and you loved her instantly.
jace responded in kind with his own pictures; the boys on the football pitch, 0.5's of cregan and aegon and benji, pouting selfies of him in the kitchen pointing at a burnt plate of who know's what? you got a voice memo each morning of him mumbling "i love you, have a great day," which you answered with a wide smile.
lisy teased you relentlessly, wondering after each picture, "is that going to the boy?" which you always had to reply honestly and say it was. she met him over facetime several times and he told you he was glad that you had her in italy, even though he wished he was there instead.
"she seems excitable," he laughed once she left your bedroom. you giggled, falling on your bed with the phone to your face.
"the most excitable," you told him. "i love her. she's made the transition a lot easier. but, i still miss you like hell."
"i miss you too," he hummed with a half smile. "even cregan misses you. we don't eat nearly as well with you gone."
"well be sure to stock up before i come home and i'll make you something," you told him, smiling at the compliment of your cooking.
"deal," he said with a grin. the screen shook as he moved on his bed, a yawn escaping his lips.
"when do you have class tomorrow?" you asked.
"eight," he sighed.
you gasped. "jace! you need to go to bed, it's like one in the morning."
"i'm fine, love. i'd rather talk to you," he said, but the daze in his eyes as he resisted another yawn said something else.
"go to bed, jacaerys," you told him sternly, smiling at the boy.
"it's like two in the morning over there, why aren't you going to bed?" he asked lazily.
"me and lisy are going sightseeing tomorrow and we don't have a wake up time," you said, a smirk on your lips as his eyes widened. he groaned dramatically.
"that's so not fair. i have to go to class and you're touring italy," he whined.
"should've come with me," you hummed.
"we both know i never would've gotten in. i'm terrible in english, i'll stick to history," he answered.
"then go to bed," you said, a smile still on your lips as he sighed heavily.
"fine," he droned. he looked more intently at the screen to you, smiling softly. "i love you."
"i love you too, j," you said, reciprocating his sweet smile. "sweet dreams, love."
"you too. goodnight."
"goodnight."
"i've never seen a place like this before," lisy gasped, looking all around the sweet little market you'd found yourself in. you giggled, beginning to file through a few of the notecards sitting on an antique table.
"jace's mom used to take me places like this all the time," you told her. "she doesn't have a daughter and is a serious shopaholic, so i got dragged to all sorts of places."
"ugh, i would've loved that!" she said.
"i did," you answered, following her to the home decor section. "i reckon as soon as i go home for the holidays she'll have all sorts of markets and boutiques for us to go to. are you going home? maybe you could come with!"
"i can't afford the fare to america to spend only a week home," she answered. "but, i guess england's only a few hours from here, huh?"
"you should come! if we buy the tickets now they'll be cheap," you said eagerly. "i have an apartment back home that i'm sharing with my two best friends, though one of them moved into my room. you could stay with us! you'd love them, we'd have loads of fun."
"okay," she agreed with a smile. "it's a plan. now, can we please buy these pillows?"
she held up two blue and cream pillows with little floral designs on them. you reached for the tag hanging off one corner and flipped it over, gasping when you spotted the number printed on it.
"forty euros!"
"that's not that bad," she said, waving you away.
"each!" you reemphasized, but she shrugged, carrying them with her as she continued to the baking section.
"worth it!" she called over her shoulder, earning a laugh from you as you followed her.
you had jace on speaker as you worked your way around the kitchen.
"i mean, if he'd just get a grip he'd realize that she likes him too," you said louder than normal for it to reach the phone. you heard jace sigh dramatically as you began mixing the cream cheese icing you were going to put on the cinnamon rolls as soon as they came out of the oven.
"that's what i've been saying!" he said. "but luke is so stuck in his own head. i mean, he's a weird bloke, sure, but she's into that apparently."
"luke is a cute kid, don't say that," you told him.
"well, he does look like me, he is my brother."
"oh, shut up jace," you laughed.
"oh, you're talking to jace?" lisy asked as she entered the kitchen, sticking a finger into your icing to lick off as she turned back to where your phone was charging. "HELLO JACAERYS!"
"wow, hello to you too lisy!" he chuckled. "nearly broke my ear there."
"i try," she said with a shrug, eyes on your phone. "you've been on the phone for three hours?"
"don't judge," you told her. "it's boring baking by myself."
"it took you three hours to make your cinnamon rolls?" she asked.
"and cake pops," you answered.
"ooh, where?" she asked with an eager smile.
"setting in the fridge, don't touch them yet," you laughed. she looked back at your phone as jace apparently moved his, the sound crunching through your speakers.
suddenly, her eyes widened and her face paled. she clicked your phone as jace started talking again.
"gods, do i miss cake pops. what flavor, love? strawberry?"
"uh, yeah," you said slowly, crossing the small kitchen to grab your phone from your roommate, brows knitted in a silent question. she flashed your phone screen at you, brows raised high as she pointed at a little green text.
-what r u doing tonight?
"who the hell is that?" she whispered.
"who is who?"
"nothing, jace. just some guy in my creative writing class who's asking me what i'm doing tonight," you said. you grabbed your phone, beginning to type out a response.
"and what are you doing tonight?" jace asked slowly.
"certainly nothing to do with him," you laughed. "probably watch a movie or something. maybe we can do the group watch thing on disney plus and watch the princess bride."
"i'm always down to watch princess bride with my future princess bride." you could hear the laugh on his tongue as he teased you and you giggled, lisy making a face of disgust.
"you two are gross," she said. "anyways, is the guy cute? i'm not doing anything tonight."
"his name is liam and he's kind of a jerk," you told her, scrunching your nose. "kept interrupting class with his stupid, slightly offensive jokes about our professor's teaching methods and then when we had to write a short narrative as a group he did no work."
"you didn't answer my question; is he cute?" she emphasized, a grin on her lips.
"i think you'd think he was cute," you finally told her, your grimace still on your lips. "i can tell him you'll go if you want."
"yes please," she said dramatically. "i'll go get ready."
"you don't even know what you're doing!" you called as she sprinted to her room.
"whatever!"
"she is a hoot," jace laughed through the phone.
"yes, yes she is," you answered with a giggle. you returned to your device, quickly telling the boy that your roommate was interested and copying her number. but, you hadn't sent it when he answered.
-i want to go with you. are you busy?
"the fuck?" you muttered, narrowing your brows.
"what?" jace asked quickly.
"this is just weird. he's being weird," you mumbled.
i'm hanging out with my boyfriend.
like i said, my roommate is free. this is her number if you want to text her about it
you waited for a response, getting increasingly annoyed that his texts were green and you couldn't watch him type.
"what'd he say?"
"that he wants to go with me. but, i said i was hanging out with my boyfriend and gave him her number, so hopefully he'll bugger off," you answered.
-do you and your boy wanna come?
you sighed. "guess not. he asked if we wanna go, and i really don't want to say that you don't exactly live in italy."
"then don't, just say no," jacaerys told you.
"alright," you mumbled.
can't sorry.
-next time for sure
you didn't answer that, instead returning to your icing. "i'm about done with my rolls if you want to send me the disney request."
"on it, love."
"who did you tell that my boyfriend doesn't live here?" you asked lisy quickly, brows raised. "liam will not leave me alone."
"what's he saying?" the girl asked with knitted brows.
"that jace doesn't need to know," you said before widening your eyes and throwing your hands in the air dramatically. "he's asking me to hook up!"
she gasped. "no way."
"yes way!" you groaned, falling on the couch.
"have you told jace?" she asked, sitting next to you.
"well, sure," you said. "he was on the phone when i got the text. and then when he started passing me notes in class i sent pictures to him."
"what'd he say?"
"that he'd fly down to punch him in the mouth if he tried anything," you answered with a sigh. "i can't wait to go home in a few days. i miss him."
"you've missed him since you got here," she laughed.
"i know," you laughed with her. "it sucks."
a knock on your door caught both your attentions.
"did you invite anyone over?" lisy asked you, brows furrowed.
"no. you didn't?"
"nope."
you stared at each other for a few moments before lisy shrieked, "nose goes!" and pressed her pointer finger to her nose before you even had the chance to do the same.
"cheater!" you cried.
"you have to get it!" she yelled with a laugh.
"shh," you said, holding a finger up as you stood and approached the door.
your face fell when you opened it and saw who it was. "liam."
"hi," the boy said with a cocky grin, hands tucked in the pockets of his hoodie jacket. "how are you?"
"fine..." you said slowly, brows scrunching in confusion. "how did you get my address?"
"oh, don't worry about it," he said, shrugging casually. "do you want to go get some food?"
"i have a boyfriend, you know this," you said strictly.
"doesn't mean you can't have a little fun," he said with a gross smile. "who knows what he's getting up to while you're gone? don't you think you should be able to do the same?"
"i actually do know what he's doing while i'm gone and it's nothing close to this. no thank you, liam," you told him, hand on the door as you went to push it closed. he caught it, eyes softening as he peered at you.
"please? i promise not to do anything," he tried. you furrowed your brows.
"no," you said, your response the most obvious thing to both you and lisy who was watching behind you protectively. "i still don't trust you and i still have a boyfriend. go home."
"oh come on-"
"go home!" lisy yelled, pushing the door shut. you locked it before turning to her gratefully. she settled back on one foot, brows furrowed as she stared at the door for a few moments. "he really wasn't that cute."
you laughed lightly before walking towards your room.
"where are you going?"
"i have to tell jace, he'll never believe this!"
jacaerys didn't know you were coming home for the holidays. you'd told him some ridiculous lie about having finals too close to christmas and that there was a big new years party that you didn't want to miss and he believed you. he said he wasn't mad, that you should live up your life in italy.
little did he know you were absolutely tired of italy and more than ready to jump back in his arms.
baela and alysanne picked you up from the airport with excited screams, hugging you tightly as you laughed joyously.
"my girls!" you cheered. "how are you?!"
"fantastic now that you're here," alys said with a smile. she scrunched her brows. "where's your friend?"
"she decided she did have enough money to go home," you answered with a shrug and a smile. "it's all the same - i get to be home with you guys!"
"ugh, i'm so glad you're back," baela said. "so much has happened."
"since i talked to you last week?"
"oh, you don't know the half of it," she sighed dramatically, grabbing your arm as she and alysanne dragged you out to your car. "so addam..."
you saw rhaenyra before you saw jace, the woman capturing you in a warm, tight hug as soon as she laid eyes on you. baela slipped in behind you with a laugh and made her way upstairs to her room.
"look at you!" rhaenyra said with a gasp. "you look so beautiful! i'm so glad you're here."
"me too," you said with a laugh light on your breath. "thank you for letting me over."
"anytime, my dear, anytime," she insisted, smiling widely as she led you further into the house. she left your side to begin pulling chicken from the fridge, allowing space for her children to spot you.
soon enough, you had viserys and aegon clinging to your sides and joffrey patiently waiting his turn at the entrance to the kitchen. you laughed, kneeling down to hug them all properly, waving joff over once you finished with aegon.
"how are you all?" you asked excitedly.
"good!" the three cheered.
"i made a gingerbread house out of graham crackers," joffrey said proudly. "do you want to see it?"
"of course i do," you told him, your smile widening. "but, i think i have to go see jace first. do you know where he is?"
as the littles shook their heads, rhaenyra said, "he just left to his room."
"awesome," you said, standing and taking a step towards the staircase. you pointed at joffrey. "me and jace will be down in a few minutes to see your gingerbread house, okay?"
"okay!" he said happily.
you turned and quickly made your way up the carpeted steps, heading down the hallway you knew like the back of you hand. you approached his door slowly, hand resting on the handle as you raised your knuckles to rap gently on the wood.
"come in," he called from inside, causing your heart to jump and a smile to pull at your lips. you pushed the door open, seeing him seated at his desk with a notebook in front of him, though his attention was on his phone.
"hey," you said gently.
he looked up quickly, his eyes widening as he abandoned his phone and flew from his seat. he wrapped his arms around your torso, you barely managing to get your arms out to wrap around his neck before he squeezed you tightly, his momentum sending you both into the wall. you laughed loudly, hugging him back with one hand raking through his curls as he nuzzled into your neck, pressing a few kisses there before he mumbled into your skin.
"what are you doing here? why didn't you tell me?"
"i wanted to surprise you," you told him, pulling him back enough to see his beautiful coffee brown eyes. his smile was the widest you'd seen it as he leaned in and captured you for a quick, but deep kiss. he pulled away, hugging you tightly to him once more, kissing your cheek, jaw, and neck in quick little pecks, his energy vivid and sporadic as he held you close.
"this is the best surprise, love," he told you, pulling away to kiss you again. "i love you so much. i missed you so much." he kissed you again, not giving you a chance to respond as you giggled lightly. he pulled back, eyes raking over your face and then your form, drinking you in for only a few seconds before he muttered, "gods, you're beautiful." his mouth returned to your own when you heard a door open.
you pulled back, tucking yourself in jace's side as you turned to see luke standing in his doorway with an unimpressed quirk of his brow and baela standing in hers with her phone up.
"really? i don't even get a hello before i'm subjected to you making out?" he asked. you laughed, slipping from jace's grasp to give his little brother a hug.
"hi luke," you told him.
"hello y/n," he hummed, laughing lightly when you pulled back and rolled your eyes. you turned your attention to baela, who's phone was still pointed at you.
"i got that whole thing on camera," she said with a giggle. "super cute, it's gonna go viral."
"you can't post it!" you cried, laughing as you reached for the device. she pulled it out of your reach, stepping back into her room and beginning to push the door closed.
"it's my video!" she laughed. "go back to your boyfriend!"
when her door shut and lucerys snuck between you two to descend the stairs, you did go back to your boyfriend. you snuggled into his grasp, sighing contentedly as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.
"i missed you."
"i missed you too."
"let's go out tonight," he suggested, his chin settling comfortable on the top of your head as you leaned into him.
"where are you thinking?"
"just some food and a drive. i'll drive if we can take your car." you could hear the smile and you sighed, grinning yourself.
"i guess..."
"alright, where should we go?"
"italy doesn't have nando's."
"well, then we have to get you some nando's."
by the time that you'd escaped his house - having to stop for joffrey's graham cracker gingerbread house, a brief coaching session with luke on how to flirt with the girl he likes over text, and to attempt to convince daemon that the italians did in fact think you had a good accent when you spoke italian even though he thought otherwise - it was well past dark.
you giggled as jace held your door open and shut it after you, crossing to the other side to slip into the driver's side. he started up the crappy old ford with a wide grin, handing you the aux cable immediately.
"we need to get you a bluetooth adapter," he hummed as he pulled out of the neighborhood. "my phone doesn't even plug into that one anymore."
"you got a new phone?" you asked, clicking on the same album you always played when you were with jace. you listened to it a lot when you were alone in italy, lights out and lisy off with friends, just missing your boy.
"yeah. i'm still on mum's family plan and everyone got an upgrade for some promotional. i don't know if i like it yet," he admitted with a shrug. "it did make facetiming you easier. my battery didn't die as fast, and for that i love it."
"that's nice. i was always plugged in while talking to you," you told him with a laugh. he grabbed your hand over the middle console, shooting you a smile. "it was worth it, though."
"i'm just so glad you're actually here now. i was certain this was going to be the worst holiday i've had yet, but now you're here with me, so it'll be the best," he said. "are you coming over for christmas or will you be with your family?"
"no, dad's off with his witch girl and my siblings are at my grandparents'. your mum offered for me to stay here with you guys for the whole holiday," you answered. he grinned, squeezing your hand.
"are you going to? or do you want to be with alysanne?" he asked.
"i mean, if you don't mind seeing me literally 24/7 i would actually love to stay with you guys," you replied with a small smile. "i love your family."
"and they love you," he said. "stay. i'm pretty sure everyone would be ecstatic if you did."
"alright, i will," you agreed, your heart fluttering a bit at the thought of it. you were always welcomed at the targaryen household, but to be spending christmas with them? that was a new level of love.
after he parked, he leaned over the console to kiss you again, earning a slight giggle as you kissed him back. he pulled back just enough to grin at you before kissing you again, his free hand brushing over your cheek gently. you pulled away finally, staring at him with an incredulous sort of love.
"let's get food," you insisted, turning to get out. he pulled on your hand, making you to turn back to him. he shook his head and quickly exited the vehicle, coming to your side in a moment and opening your door. you hopped out with a wide smile, accepting his hand again when you came chest to chest with the boy. "you're the perfect gentleman."
"only for you," he said, wiggling his brows as he shut the door and pulled you towards nando's.
as you stood in line, talking about how aemond started posting the same girl on his stories recently, you people watched. you always liked to see who was out to get chicken at nine o'clock at night. nando's seemed to have the wildest people, from a man wearing a tshirt that read 'danny dorito' with danny davito's face on a dorito, to a chick waiting by the doors with a chihuahua in a stroller. and then there was the weirdest one -
liam.
"shit, what?" you said quickly, brows furrowing as you stepped behind jace. he looked up from your phone where you'd previously been viewing aemond's story highlights, immediately scanning the room for what could've incited such a reaction from you.
"what is it?" he asked, his hold on your hand tightening. the line moved up and you stayed behind him, the man understanding your attempts and keeping you out of sight of whatever it was you were nervous about. "love, what is it?"
"remember that liam guy i kept telling you about? that came to my house and kept hitting on me in class? he's here," you told him, peeking around his arm to see if he was still sat with the three boys you saw him with.
"what the hell?" he muttered, eyes narrowing on the kid. "we'll just get our food to go. i'd rather not risk meeting him."
"i thought you said you'd beat him up for me?" you asked with a light giggle.
"if he comes us and starts something then of course. but, i don't start fights, darling, i finish them," he told you. you grinned as you pulled him further up the line, ordering once you reached the register.
as jace began paying, you glanced back at where liam had been, your curiosity getting the best of you. your brows furrowed when you didn't spot the boy - he'd just been there a moment before.
"thank you," jacaerys told the cashier with a charming smile before stepping back next to you, hand grabbing yours as he pulled you to fill your drinks. the nando's workers were speedy tonight, holding your bag out as jace rushed by, the boy grabbing it with a thanks. he eyed you carefully. "what's wrong?"
"nothing, i just-"
"y/n!"
you both turned quickly, brows knitted tightly at the call of your name.
of course, it was liam.
"liam," you said slowly, nodding as you eyed him. "hi."
liam approached with a wide grin, a strange swagger in his step. you pursed your lips as you watched him. jace pulled you closer to him, his grip tightening slightly.
"crazy to see you here," liam drawled, his grin making your skin crawl. his eyes flashed to jacaerys. "is this the boyfriend you've been talking about?"
"yes. this is jacaerys," you said shortly, not bothering to introduce your classmate.
"pleasure to meet you jacaerys," liam hummed, holding a hand out to him. jace clasped it securely, a straight look on his face as he eyed him with a steel gaze. "i'm liam."
"alright," jace said.
"me and y/n go to school in italy together," he continued.
"alright," jace said again, releasing his hand with a slight shove. "good to meet you, mate. if you'll excuse us, we've got to get going."
"why don't you join me and my friend bobby? we're heading to a party later tonight with some college friends, you should come," liam offered.
"no thanks," you said quickly, glancing at jace with an unintelligible look in your eyes. "we've got plans."
"you've always got plans, don't you sweetheart," liam sighed, turning your attention back to him. your furrowed your brows again.
"sorry?"
"every time i invite you out, you refuse. i'm just being friendly."
"and i'm perfectly friendly when i say no. it's alright for you to accept that i don't want to hang out with you, liam."
"ouch," he said, a grin still slipping off the side of his lips as he held a hand to his heart. "you don't want to hang out with me?"
"i think she's made that clear," jace told him, stepping towards him. "now, like i said before; we've got to get going."
he didn't wait for a response before dragging you away to the drinks station, filling both your cups quickly, and pulling you back to the car. "i see what you mean," he muttered as he helped you in your side.
"he's kinda pushy," you answered, accepting the bag of steaming food before he shut your door and crossed to his side. he sat down with a sigh, starting the car up.
"just a bit."
"let's get out of here."
you sung along to the playlist you were used to, the one you'd curated with jace when you first started dating and began these drives, and the one you listened to the most while in italy and missing him desperately. a mix between enthusiastic songs you weren't afraid to belt out and slow, sweet songs that varied from taylor swift and old american country artists, your playlist had everything.
eventually, he pulled off to the side of the peak of the Rim, a mountain range not too far out from his parents' house and one you frequented over the last almost two years of dating. he pulled you out of the old ford and onto the roof, the bag of nando's in your hand.
you chatted while you ate, random nonsense and updates of luke's love life that he'd failed to mention in your regular facetimes.
"joffrey's even got a girlfriend now," he hummed with a cheeky grin, laughing as you gasped and pushed his shoulder.
"he does not!" you cried, eyes wide. "but, he's so little!"
"he's twelve," jace shrugged. "we all had girlfriends and boyfriends at that age. you 'go out' for a day or two and be done with it."
"and is he done with it?" you asked.
"no," he admitted, laughing loudly before he continued. "he bought her a peppermint teddy for christmas. she told him she was jewish and he was mortified, but she said she'd take it for hanukkah. he spent all week trying to convince mum and daemon to let him buy her six more presents to go along."
"i thought there were eight?" you asked.
"either way," he said with a shrug. "mum said no. he'd already spent his whole allowance on the teddy and we still had to draw for family secret santa."
"who'd you get?" you asked with a soft smile.
"actually, i was hoping for your help on that. i got baela."
"oh, i can definitely help with that," you said, a giggle following your words.
you sat in contented silence for another few moments, finishing the rest of your meals before jace spoke again.
"i didn't like the way he was looking at you."
you looked at him quickly, eyes softening in realization of what he meant. you leaned into his side, holding his arm gently. "me neither. but, i doubt it'll happen again - i think you intimidated him."
"it won't happen again," he said, the words so sure, so definite that it made you furrow your brows.
"i'm sure," you agreed, determining to say nothing more on the matter.
another silence passed over you as jace considered his words, looking down on you with a soft smile and a certain resolve.
"i'm studying with you next semester."
"what?" you asked quickly, pulling away to look at him with a wide smile. "you are? you're coming to italy?"
"well, now that the football season is over i can. i spoke with admissions and they agreed it'd be a good experience. i start next term with you," he said, smiling at you so sweetly. "and well, i couldn't leave you with the likes of liam for another semester. i don't think i could handle that."
"thank you," you sighed, tucking into his side with a neverending smile. "i love you."
"i love you too."
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thanks for reading! leave a request in the comments or message me privately! i love writing, so if you've got an idea you need fleshed out on paper i'd love to be the one to do that for you
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theemporium · 9 months ago
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[3.1k] after a spell goes wrong, you and lando are forced to hide the fact that oscar isn't quite himself during media day at the british grand prix. it goes about as well as you would expect ft. mediocre magic, a surprised max verstappen and a cute black cat.
[find other fright night specials here]
.
There was a lot more to being a witch than people expected. 
It wasn’t all hocus pocus, waving a wand and standing around a bubbling cauldron whilst chanting in an ancient language under the moonlight. Don’t get it twisted, that was still a part of it. But there was more than cliches and stereotypes, things were a lot more complicated than reading from a spellbook and swishing a stick around. 
It was hard. 
Sometimes, it felt like that one subject in school that just never clicked. You were reading the textbooks, doing the homework and listening to the teacher but, no matter what, you couldn’t seem to get it quite right. Sometimes, you would eventually get it. 
And sometimes, you were left in situations quite like this one. 
Ideally—at least in the eyes of your grandmother—you would have done what every other young witch did at your age. You would have finished school, joined a coven and trained under the watchful eyes of the elders until you had successfully and safely mastered your magic. Upon reaching adulthood, a witch’s magic became more volatile, more unpredictable, more potent. It was vital for her to learn to control it before it overtook her. 
Unfortunately for your grandmother’s sake, you didn’t want to settle down in a coven. You wanted to explore the world. You wanted to learn to control your magic through experience, not through old scrolls and grimoires. You wanted to live, not just survive and learn. 
You did not want to be chained down by ancient rules and practices. 
However, as much as it pained for you to admit it, you kind of wish you had listened to your grandmother around about now. 
It was a funny series of events that led you to meet the two Mclaren drivers. It was somewhere during two race weekends a year ago, a meeting that happened by chance but changed the trajectory of all three of your lives. It was instant connections, late nights spent in hotels and a passion that was far from fizzling after your two weeks together were over. 
And it bloomed. 
You wanted to travel the world and they wanted to show you the world. You wanted to experience life beyond a witch’s expectations and they wanted to share that experience with you. You wanted someone to share your heart with and they wanted to be the ones you trusted with it. 
It felt like the planets aligned, the stars shone and the universe worked its magic to help you cross paths with Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri. It felt the invisible string of fate weaving its way through your hearts to bring you together, to keep you together, to intertwine your lives to this very point. 
And, despite the stories whispered in young witch’s ears about the taboos of humans, Lando and Oscar accepted you for who you were, they loved you for who you were. The tales of humans hating and despising and disapproving of witches were squished by your boys in seconds. In fact, they were your biggest supporters in your journey to learn and control your magic. 
Maybe sometimes a little too supportive. 
“Oh my god.”
“Lando—” 
“Oh my god!” 
“Stop panicking!” 
“How can I not fucking panic?! Oscar is a fucking—” 
“Shhh!” You hissed, slapping your hand over your boyfriend’s mouth before he altered the whole McLaren hospitality. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, the bubbling of feeling of ‘oh, I fucked up’ becoming more and more prominent. “Just…calm down for a second.” 
Lando let out a squeak of disbelief as he gestured towards the orange cat blinking up at the both of you, sitting in the spot where Oscar had been standing moments ago. 
“Fuck,” you whispered, staring at the orange cat. “Oscar?” 
The cat meowed in response.
“Oh my god,” Lando wheezed, his eyes comically wide. “I can’t believe you turned him into an orange cat. He is definitely more of a black cat, if anything.” 
You glared at the Brit. “Oh, sorry, let me just remember that for the next time I turn our boyfriend into a fucking cat!” 
Lando’s mouth parted. “Uh, babe—” 
“What?”
Lando only nodded back towards the cat, only to find Oscar the orange cat now very much black. 
“What the fuck?” You breathed out, the panic starting to resurface. 
“Change him back!” Lando hissed. 
“Okay, okay!” You rolled your shoulders, eyes narrowing slightly in determination as you stared at the black cat in front of you. “This is fine. I turned you into a cat, I can turn you back into a human.” 
“Ideally soon,” Lando added, staring at the cat with a suspicious glare. Like he didn’t quite believe it was really Oscar. “It’s Thursday. The media team is gonna want us to start filming stuff soon.” 
So, no pressure. 
Sometimes, you wondered if your grandmother placed a small, inconvenient curse on you to punish you for not listening to her advice about joining a coven straight after school. 
Because that was the only explanation you could come up with behind your horrendously, inconveniently timed bad luck that would be turning one of your boyfriends into a cat on media day of the British Grand Prix—arguably one of the most important for the team and the boys in the racing calendar. 
It was a purely unpurposeful accident that led to you accidentally turning Oscar into a cat, but you thought you had a little more skill and experience to be able to change him back with the same ease. However, forty minutes later and three breakdowns later—all from Lando, thank you very much—told you that accidental magic was a lot harder to fix than one would expect. 
Or, at least, than you expected. 
“This is pointless!” 
“Babe,” you sighed but the boy was already pacing the small driver’s room already. 
“He’s stuck forever! We will never see that stupid swoop ever again! We will never hear him say ‘Webbah’ ever again!”
“Lando,” you tried again.
“Oh my god, we have to tell Mark! We have to tell everyone! How the fuck are we going to tell everyone?!” 
“Lando!” 
The boy’s mouth quickly snapped shut, his wide eyes staring back at you as you pushed yourself up from your spot on the couch, crossing the room and gently cupping his face. Your thumbs soothed over his cheeks, feeling him relax a little under your touch. 
“Relax, baby,” you whispered softly, your lips twitching upwards as he took a deep breath. “This isn’t ideal but I have messaged my grandmother. She will call back and help us sort out this mess and nobody has to know.” 
“What about the team?” Lando questioned, his brows furrowing together. “They are gonna notice—”
“We will just have to cover up until Oscar is human again,” you said with a determined nod. “It can’t be too hard, right?”
“Right, yeah, of course,” Lando nodded. “Except for one minor problem.” 
You frowned. “What?” 
“Oscar is gone.” 
Your head snapped around, expecting to turn and see the black cat curled up where he was less than a few minutes ago. But he was nowhere to be seen, the driver room now empty apart from the two of you and the door out to the rest of the paddock somehow wiggled open.
“Fuck.” 
“If I were a cat, where would I be?” 
“Keep your voice down!” 
“I’m just trying to get into the mindset of Oscar right now,” Lando murmured in response, his lips turned downwards as he rubbed the spot of his arm you just slapped. “If he’s even Oscar anymore. What if he’s stuck with a cat brain forever?” 
You rolled your eyes. “Magic can’t do that. He’s still Oscar. Just…Oscar with very strong cat-like urges.” 
The two of you had managed to sneak out of Lando’s driver room without alerting anyone else on the team that something was wrong. None of them questioned where Oscar was, just simply waving at the two of you walking past as Lando panic-babbled some bullshit about wanting to go see Carlos in the Ferrari hospitality to sort out some details for a golf day before the McLaren media team stole them away for the rest of the day. 
Fortunately, they bought it. 
Unfortunately, it’s a lot harder to look for a cat in a paddock when no one can know you are looking for a cat.
“Should we get treats?” Lando questioned, keeping his voice low. “Or like…a laser?” 
“Yeah, because that will be real subtle,” you murmured with a snort. 
“We need to get into the mindset of a cat,” Lando said with an odd sense of certainty. 
“He would probably be somewhere warm,” you pointed out, tilting your head back to look up at the grey clouds starting to cover the sky. “But that's more of an Oscar thing than a cat thing.” 
“Oscar did say the other day he was going to hog the tire warmer blankets if the weekend had shit weather,” Lando suggested, his brows furrowing together. “What are the chances he’s just…sleeping there?” 
You glanced down at his watch, your frown deepening. “Let’s hope high.” 
“Pspspsps!”
“What the fuck are you doing?” 
Lando glanced up, a sheepish smile on his face. “Trying to make him feel relaxed, you know? Like we are one of his people.” 
You raised your brows, taking in the sight of him crawling through the stacks of tires on all fours before shaking your head, deciding it was easier to just leave it rather than ask any questions. 
Your grandmother hadn’t responded to any of the messages, the team were starting to blow up Lando’s phone and the two of you have had to dodge a handful of McLaren employees scouting the paddock for their drivers. 
Safe to say your plan wasn’t working the way you intended. 
“Oscar!” You called out, crouched down as you joined Lando in searching amongst the tires. “Oscar! Come on! We have fish!” 
“Ew, we do?” 
You shot the boy a look.
“Uh, yeah!” Lando quickly cleared his throat. “We have a lovely piece of salmon just for you!” 
“Fuck, maybe we should have brought some fish,” you murmured under your breath.
“What the fuck are the both of you doing?” 
You let out a noise of surprise as your head snapped up, your eyes widening a little at the sight of Max Verstappen standing a few feet away from you. But more surprisingly, the sight of a familiar black cat curled up in his arms. 
“Osc—” You winced when Lando nudged your side with elbow. “Cat! You found him!” 
Max blinked. “Did you just call him Oscat?” 
You smiled sheepishly. “Yes, I did, didn’t I?” 
“Odd name choice,” Max commented, lightly scratching the cat underneath his chin. “I didn’t know you got a cat.”
“He’s new,” Lando retorted, quickly scrambling to stand up and brush his knees off. “Uh, where did you find him?” 
“I heard meowing behind the motorhome and found this little guy trying to puncture some spare tires,” Max grinned, cooing at the black cat. “He’s a menace, isn’t he?” 
“Tell me about it,” Lando grumbled before clearing his throat. “I mean, thanks for finding him! But we will take it from here!”
“You should bring him over some time,” Max said as he handed the black cat off to Lando. “Sassy probably won’t like him but Jimmy might—” 
The cat let out a god-awful screech before he could be placed in Lando’s arms.
“Bastard,” Lando glared at the cat.
“We’ll think about it!” You quickly spoke up, ignoring Max’s odd expression as you quickly took Oscar in your arms. You didn’t miss the way Lando’s glare hardened when the black cat easily curled into your arms, purring away like nothing was wrong. “But we have to go.” 
“Media duties,” Lando supplied with a grim smile.
“Tell Oscar I said hi.” 
Lando only hummed, glaring at the black cat once more before the two of you headed back towards the McLaren garage.
Lando was pretty sure his team were going to think he had food poisoning again considering he had told them he had needed to go to the bathroom before they started filming. 
And the fact that had been forty minutes ago. 
“We can’t stay here forever,” Lando muttered, staring at the black cat curled up on his hoodie. Despite refusing to be held by the Brit, Oscar seemed happy to nap amongst his clothes. Lando was trying not to take it personally. 
“I know, I know,” you sighed, frowning as you flipped through your notebook. It was no grimoire, but it had little notes and lessons and spells you had learnt over the years. Your grandmother insisted it was pertinent for a witch to record her progress properly, to take extensive notes to pass on to the witches after her. You were starting to see her point now. “Why have I never turned a person into a cat before?!” 
Lando paused. “Was that question rhetorical or…?” 
You lifted your head to shoot him a look.
“Rhetorical it is,” he nodded, slouching back against the couch. “What if you just abracadabra your hands at him until something eventually happens?” 
“Other than the fact that is an incredibly stupid and idiotic idea?” You retorted before sighing, flashing him an apologetic smile at your biting tone. “It wouldn’t be safe for him or me. I don’t know what spell I would be adding onto and we don’t know what effects it could have on Oscar. For all we know, it could make this change…permanent.” 
The black cat lifted his head to meow in response. 
“He doesn’t seem like a fan of that idea either,” you added, your lips twitching at the way Oscar managed to look so judgemental even in cat form. 
“He doesn’t have much of a brain right now,” Lando grumbled, shuffling away when Oscar hissed at him in response.
“Stop antagonising him,” you chastised.
“He’s the one who won’t let me pet him!” Lando huffed in response. “He’s my boyfriend too.” 
“Is this about Max holding him?” You deadpanned.
“Yes!” 
“Well,” you started, quickly turning back towards your notebook. “In his defence, it was your fault that he got turned into a cat.”
Lando blinked. “How?”
“You were the one who kept pushing me to make you an ice lolly!”
“And you were the one who fucked up the spell!” 
“And that was because you kept tickling me—”
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
The room fell dead silent as the three of you stared at the door. 
“Lando? Is Oscar with you? The press conference starts in five minutes, you’re both needed right now.” 
The Brit turned to you with a panicked look.
“Go,” you whispered with wide eyes. “Stall them. I’ll work on Oscar.”
Lando’s brows furrowed together. “Are you sure? I can—”
“Go, we’ll be okay,” you assured him, quickly leaning in to peck his lips. “Promise, baby.” 
“Okay, okay,” he nodded, swallowing harshly. “I can distract them. I can hold them off.” 
That was perfectly possible and capable. 
It was not, in fact, possible or capable.
The journalists were like vultures the second they realised the second McLaren driver was nowhere to be seen. Lando assumed his presence and the three other Brits on the couch would be more than enough for the media, especially for Silverstone weekend. It turns out he was wrong. 
So very wrong. 
“Question for Lando!” 
The boy resisted the urge to roll his eyes, instead slumping further back the couch in hopes it would open up and eat him alive. He noticed Alex and George sat to his left, snickering away with their microphones sitting beside them considering they hadn’t been asked a question in the last ten minutes.
“With Oscar out of contention for the weekend, are we to expect McLaren will be focusing on your standing in the championship?” 
Lando frowned. “Oscar isn’t out for the weekend.” 
“No one has given us a reason for his absence in this conference,” the journalists retorted. “We assumed he was unwell. Do we have reason to believe he isn’t here for another reason?”
Lando bit his tongue. 
“He was seen this morning arriving in the paddock,” another journalist added. 
“Then I’m sure you saw he was here and well,” Lando said, a fake and forced smile on his face. 
“Hey, if you need a driver for that second McLaren,” Alex spoke up as he tried to divert the attention away from Lando—because bless his heart, he is a good friend—after picking up his microphone for the first time in the conference. “I know a guy.”
Lando’s smile felt a little more genuine this time. “Yeah? There’s a few qualifications he needs to meet.” 
“Be slower than you?” Alex guessed, a few chuckles breaking out amongst the crowd.
“Yeah, if he could hold everyone back, that would be great,” Lando grinned. “Just swipe everyone out whilst I just zoom off.” 
Alex cackled, leaning into George as he shook his head fondly. 
“Lando!” A journalist called out and Lando felt his whole body tense up. “Do you think Oscar’s absence shows a lack of commitment to the team?” 
Lando could feel his face scrunch up. He knew his emotions were probably written very clearly across his face if the bubbling anger inside him was telling enough. But before he could lift his microphone and say something that would have the PR team sighing deeply at his snarkiness, the door to the conference room slammed open as someone came running in. 
“Sorry, sorry!” 
Lando’s anger quickly melted away, replaced with something quite like knee-buckling relief at the sight of Oscar settling onto the couch beside him, his cheeks flushed and his hair dishevelled on his head. But he was there and he was human and that was all Lando needed to know right now. 
At least, he tried to tell himself that as Oscar supplied the journalists with some very vague excuse as to why he was late.
“How?” Lando muttered under his breath, leaning into Oscar so the microphones wouldn’t pick up on their voices.
“Grandma messaged back,” Oscar said with a small smile. “She seems confident it worked fine. But she was also three drinks deep into happy hour so, take it with a pinch of salt.” 
Lando raised his brows. “Do you feel okay?” 
“Yeah, Grandma said there shouldn’t be any lingering side effects,” Oscar assured him, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m fine. Promise. I’ll explain later.” 
Lando only nodded in response, shuffling a little closer to Oscar until their knees were nudging against each other. Oscar was there and he was human and he was touching him now, and that was what mattered. He could wait another fifteen minutes before finding out more, before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and muttering about needing to buy a black cat before Max texted him with more questions. 
Oscar was fine now and nobody knew the mess they had accidentally created. 
“Next question is for Oscar: did you just meow?” 
.
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aventurineswife · 5 months ago
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“You were a wonderful experience... You were everything”
Tags: March x Reader, Sampo x Reader, Alhaitham x Reader, Childe x Reader, Immortal!Reader, Unrequited Love, Bittersweet Romance, Emotional Angst, Character Introspection, Complex Relationships, Fleeting Moments.
Warnings: Angst, Heartbreak, Unresolved Feelings, Mentions of Mortality, Emotional Distress.
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March sat quietly in the corner of the Astral Express, her camera resting gently on her lap. The soft hum of the train and the distant stars outside felt oddly calming, but a deep, lingering sadness hung in her chest, gnawing at her despite the outward cheer she usually displayed. She turned the camera over in her hands, her fingers tracing the cold metal as she thought about you.
It had been years since you’d joined the crew, but you remained an enigma to her. Your immortality — your ability to live on while the rest of them changed — intrigued her, but it also terrified her. She didn’t understand how you could bear to watch everyone around you age, lose themselves, and eventually fade. March was young, vibrant, full of life, and yet, she knew deep down that time would claim her, just as it did with everyone else. You had time to spare, but that wasn’t a gift. It was a curse.
"Why do you look so sad?" she asked, her voice as playful as ever, yet her eyes held a softness, a vulnerability she'd never shared with anyone else.
You met her gaze, your eyes betraying your pain, but you smiled as you always did for her. "Just thinking about the future."
March hummed thoughtfully, her lips curving up. "The future, huh? I’m not much of a planner myself." She slid closer to you, her camera in hand. "But I think, no matter what happens, I’ll always have a picture of today. Just like I’ll always have this moment with you."
"You were a wonderful experience," you murmured, your voice breaking the silence that had fallen between you. "A bright, beautiful moment that will never fade."
March blinked, her expression shifting. Her usual bubbly demeanor faltered as she processed your words. "I..." She hesitated, her lips trembling. "I’m not sure if I want to be a moment for you, though."
You reached for her hand, your thumb brushing against her skin. "Then, You were... everything," you whispered, unable to hide the sorrow in your voice.
She pulled her hand away, her gaze shifting downward, as if the weight of the universe had suddenly become too much to bear. "But you can’t keep me, can you?" she asked quietly, her voice heavy with regret.
"You don’t have to worry about that," you said, smiling softly. "But I’ll never forget you."
March looked up at you, her eyes filling with unshed tears. "I wish I could be the one who stays."
But you knew, deep in your soul, that nothing could change the truth. Time would always be against you.
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Sampo leaned against the wall, his eyes flicking between the treasure in his hand and you, standing in the moonlit alley. His eyes shone with that mischievous gleam, but there was something in his expression now that seemed different — hesitant, even. For once, he was at a loss for words.
"I never thought I’d see you like this," you said softly, your gaze studying him carefully, as if trying to unravel the layers beneath his smooth talk. "Still scamming, still running, still avoiding the inevitable. I’m surprised you even stopped to talk."
Sampo let out a light laugh, but it didn’t reach his eyes. "Hey, I like to think I’m a man of action. Never standing still, always looking for the next big score." He paused, his fingers playing with the silver cuff on his ear. "But you… you’ve always been different. You never change."
You stared at him, the weight of your immortality pressing heavily on your chest. "And you never learn, do you?"
He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a more serious tone. "You think I’m running away from something? Nah, I’m just living my life. People like me don’t get to worry about eternity. They just… keep moving."
You sighed, your heart heavy with the knowledge of your endless existence. "You were a wonderful experience, Sampo," you said softly. "I thought you might be the one who could keep up, but I see now… you’re just running. You’ll run until there’s nothing left to chase."
His smirk faltered, and for a moment, you saw the cracks in his armor. But it was fleeting. "What’s it matter to you? You’re immortal. You don’t need anyone." His words were sharp, but the underlying pain was unmistakable.
You met his gaze, your voice barely a whisper. "But I wanted you, Sampo. I wanted to be the one thing that didn’t slip through my fingers."
Sampo’s eyes darkened as he stepped back, his face unreadable. "I can’t be that for you," he said quietly. "I’m sorry."
"Why?" you asked, your voice breaking. "Why do you always have to leave, even when I’m still here?"
Sampo didn’t answer, his gaze sliding away from yours, as if he couldn’t bear to look you in the eye anymore.
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The silence between you and Alhaitham was thick, heavy with unspoken words. He sat at the desk, his gaze focused on a book, but you could tell he wasn’t really reading it. His mind was elsewhere. And you knew exactly where it was: with you.
"I’ve seen your eyes before," Alhaitham said quietly, not looking up from the pages. "The way they seem to carry centuries of sorrow. You’re the same as the others. Detached. Unchanging."
You smiled softly, the weight of your immortality pressing on your heart. "You’re right. I never age. I never forget. I never move on. But you..." You leaned against the doorframe, watching him closely. "You’re different. You challenge me. You make me feel something that isn’t just… the endless void."
Alhaitham closed the book with a quiet snap, finally turning his gaze to you. His eyes were sharp, searching, yet filled with a quiet sorrow. "I know you, and yet I don’t. You live forever, but you don’t really live, do you?"
You shook your head slowly. "No. Not really."
"You were a wonderful experience," he said softly, his voice betraying a rare vulnerability. "But I’m not the one who can give you what you need."
"I don’t need anything from anyone," you said quickly, but the words tasted empty in your mouth. "I’ve learned that lesson long ago."
Alhaitham stood up, his movements measured. "But I can’t be your answer, not when I know that one day, I’ll be gone, and you’ll remain. You’ll outlive me, just as you’ve outlived everyone else."
"And yet," you whispered, your eyes softening, "I would have wanted to share those moments with you. Just once."
Alhaitham’s expression remained stoic, but the flicker of regret in his eyes was unmistakable. "I’m sorry," he said, the words colder than he intended. "But you were everything… and yet nothing I could ever truly hold onto."
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Childe’s laughter echoed through the empty space, but it felt hollow. He stopped pacing and turned to face you, his eyes gleaming in the dim light of the warehouse.
"I’ve fought countless battles, seen countless victories and losses," Childe said, his tone growing more somber as he spoke. "But I’ve never fought a battle like this. The one against time."
You met his gaze, your heart aching as you tried to find the right words. "And what does time mean to you, Childe? When you’ve already seen so much and know that nothing lasts forever?"
Childe’s lips curled into a bitter smile. "Everything ends, eventually," he said quietly. "But you… you’re different. You never end. You never fade."
You sighed, your voice barely above a whisper. "You were a wonderful experience, Childe. A fleeting moment of warmth in my eternal life. But I know that I can’t hold onto you."
He moved closer to you, his presence imposing, but his eyes softened with an emotion you hadn’t seen before. "I didn’t think you could, but I hoped… I hoped I could be the one to make you feel something real."
"You were everything to me," you said, the words tasting of bittersweet finality. "But I’m not the one who can give you what you want. Not when you can’t have me."
Childe’s expression hardened, and for a moment, the bravado faded. "Maybe it’s better this way," he muttered, as if trying to convince himself. "You were everything, but nothing that I could ever truly keep."
"You were always too far out of reach," you whispered, the pain in your heart echoing in your voice.
Childe took a deep breath, his eyes flickering with a mixture of sorrow and acceptance. "Maybe so," he said quietly, before turning away. "Maybe so."
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fratttymatty · 7 months ago
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The Bro And The Babe
(All characters are 18+)
Sam Goldberg adjusted his glasses nervously, peering over the top of his laptop in his cluttered apartment. "Maggie, do you ever wonder if there's a parallel universe where we’re, like, the exact opposite of ourselves?" he asked, his voice tinged with curiosity.
Maggie Kane rolled her eyes and flexed her biceps casually, her workout tank stretched tight over her muscular shoulders. "You’re really spiraling into one of your sci-fi tangents again, aren’t you?" she teased, setting down a protein shake and leaning against the table.
The two had been best friends for over a decade, bonded over their shared love of comics, progressive activism, and long, caffeinated discussions about queer theory. Sam was a self-proclaimed nerd who could quote Star Trek in Klingon, while Maggie, with her shaved undercut and love for lifting, was equally passionate about gaming and LGBTQ+ rights.
That evening, as Sam researched theories about consciousness and parallel dimensions, Maggie scrolled through Reddit on the couch. Suddenly, an ad popped up on both of their screens: "Transform your life forever! Click here for an experience you’ll NEVER forget!"
“Ugh, spam,” Maggie muttered, but Sam was already clicking. A blinding flash of light erupted from their devices, and everything went black.
When Sam woke up, he felt… off. Like, seriously off. His entire body tingled, his clothes felt tighter, and his thoughts were foggy. He glanced down and nearly screamed—except the sound that came out wasn’t his usual nervous stammer. It was a deep, confident, carefree bro laugh.
“Yo, what the actual heck?” he muttered, except it came out as, “Duuude, what’s even happenin’, bruh?”
He staggered to his feet, stumbling over a pair of sneakers he didn’t recognize—chunky white Nikes. Glancing down, he realized he was wearing a tight tank top that showed off his absurdly muscular, tan arms. His glasses were gone, replaced by perfect vision. His old face? Gone too—now replaced with a chiseled jawline, sharp cheekbones, and a boyish, smirking charm.
He caught his reflection in a nearby car window and gasped. “Daaaang, I’m lookin’ so rad, bro!” He flexed his biceps instinctively. “Wait… what’s happenin’ to me?”
“Like, OH MY GOD, what is even goin’ on right now?” a high-pitched, bubbly voice squealed nearby.
Sam turned to see a girl—no, Maggie—only… she was unrecognizable. Gone were her muscles and practical workout attire. In their place was a slim, tanned, barely-18-looking blonde with bouncy curls, a bright pink crop top, and a dangerously short skirt. She had a cheerleader’s pom-poms in one hand and a glossy pout on her lips.
“Mags?” Sam asked, his deep voice cracking.
“Ew, who’s Maggie? Like, my name is Madison now, duh,” she replied, twirling a strand of her hair. Her eyes were wide and vacant, as if her usual sharp wit had been erased and replaced with… bimbo vibes. “Wait, who are you? Ohmygawd, you’re, like, sooo cute!”
“Madison? I’m Sam, your best—uh, wait…” Sam scratched his head, his memories slipping away like sand through his fingers. “No way, I’m, like, Brad now. And, uh, I guess we’re totally supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend or somethin’?”
Madison giggled and clapped her hands. “O-M-G, Brad! Like, yeah, we are!” She grabbed his arm, pressing herself against him. “You’re sooo strong, baby!”
Brad couldn’t help but grin. “Yeah, babe, I, like, totally work out all the time. Gotta keep the guns lookin’ sick for football season, ya know?”
Madison nodded enthusiastically. “OMG, totes. And, like, I’m soooo pumped for cheer practice tomorrow! We’re, like, gonna crush it at the pep rally.”
Their old lives—Sam and Maggie, the nerdy, liberal best friends who championed justice and intellect—were completely erased. In their place stood Brad and Madison, a carefree high school jock and his bubbly cheerleader girlfriend. Neither had any desire to question what had happened or return to their former selves. Their new identities were as comfortable as the sun-kissed, athletic bodies they now inhabited.
Brad and Madison strolled hand in hand through the high school parking lot, the sun gleaming off Brad’s newly tousled dark brown curls. His hair, which had always been fine, straight, and perpetually disheveled in his Sam days, now bounced with a voluminous, carefree energy that seemed to match his new persona. Madison giggled, running her manicured fingers through it.
“Babe, your hair is, like, so dreamy now,” she cooed. “It’s like you’re in one of those rom-coms I totally love!”
Brad smirked, running a hand through his own curls. “Yeah, it’s pretty sick. Totally matches my whole vibe, right? Like, natural curls for the win, babe!”
Madison squealed in agreement, flipping her own bouncy blonde hair over her shoulder. Not only was her hair now platinum and shiny, but it somehow always seemed to be perfectly styled, as if she had just left the salon. Gone were her practical, low-maintenance buzzed undercut and dyed streaks—replaced by soft, flawless waves cascading down her back.
As they reached the entrance to school, a group of students waved enthusiastically. Their new friends were waiting: Chad, the quarterback; Ashley, the head cheerleader; and Brittany, who always carried a Starbucks cup and scrolled endlessly on her phone.
“Yo, Brad! Dude, where were you yesterday? We missed you at the gym!” Chad called out, giving Brad a fist bump.
“Yeah, for real,” Brittany chimed in, snapping a photo of Madison. “Madison, your outfit is, like, soooo cute today. And OMG, you two are legit couple goals.”
Brad grinned. “My bad, bro. Had to help my dad with some, like, backyard stuff or whatever. Totally made up for it with extra squats this morning, though.”
“Of course you did, bro!” Chad laughed, clapping Brad on the back.
Madison jumped into the conversation. “Oh my God, you guys, I was, like, totally thinking—what if we make a TikTok to, like, pump everyone up for the pep rally tomorrow?”
Ashley clapped her hands excitedly. “Yes! You’re sooo right. We could do one of those dances—like, the trending ones!”
“Totally!” Madison squealed, pulling out her phone.
As the group planned their video, Brad caught himself admiring how easily they all fit together. It was a far cry from his and Maggie’s old days of debating social issues in coffee shops or campaigning for progressive causes. He shrugged off the thought as easily as brushing sand off his shoulder.
Later, at lunch, Brad and Madison sat at the “cool table,” surrounded by their friends. The conversation turned to the upcoming student government elections.
“Honestly, I hope Jacob wins for class president,” Chad said, shoving a handful of fries into his mouth. “He’s got the right ideas about, like, cutting funding for those lame clubs no one cares about.”
Madison nodded, sipping her diet soda. “Yeah, like, why should the school waste money on dumb stuff like, um… science fairs? We totally need more spirit weeks and cute uniforms for cheer instead!”
Brad nodded in agreement, surprising himself with his own words. “For sure, babe. And, like, don’t get me started on all the stuff they spend on those nerdy STEM kids. They should put that cash into, like, upgrading the football field or whatever. Priorities, ya know?”
Chad grinned. “Preach, bro. Sports are what make this school awesome!”
Madison clapped her hands, delighted. “Exactly! Like, if people wanna be all nerdy and boring, that’s fine or whatever, but they shouldn’t take away from, like, the stuff that makes school fun!”
After lunch, Brad found himself in the locker room with Chad and the guys, preparing for practice. As he slipped on his jersey, he noticed how natural it all felt—joking with his teammates, flexing his biceps in the mirror, and strategizing for the next big game. Meanwhile, Madison was across campus, huddled with Ashley and Brittany as they debated which glitter eyeshadow would look best for the pep rally.
At practice, Brad caught the ball effortlessly, his natural athleticism shining. “Nice catch, bro!” Chad yelled, slapping him on the back.
Afterward, Brad and Chad sat on the bleachers, cooling off.
“Dude, life’s pretty sick, huh?” Chad said, grinning.
“Totally, bro,” Brad replied, sipping a sports drink. “Like, no worries, no drama. Just football, babes, and hanging out. What more could you ask for?”
That night, Madison was sprawled out on Brad’s bed, flipping through a glossy fashion magazine while Brad played Madden on his PS5.
“Babe,” Madison said suddenly, “do you ever think about… like, deep stuff?”
Brad paused the game, looking at her. “What do you mean, Mads?”
She twirled a strand of her hair, her brow furrowing slightly. “Like… I dunno. Sometimes I get this, like, weird feeling that I used to care about… other things? Like, boring stuff. Science, or whatever.”
Brad shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. “Nah, babe. That stuff’s lame. You’re, like, perfect just the way you are now. Cheerleader Madison is, like, the ultimate you.”
Madison’s face lit up with a bright smile. “Aww, you’re right, Brad! You always know what to say.”
Brad grinned, pulling her close. “Course I do. Now c’mere—game’s over. Time for some quality time with my girl.”
As the two leaned back, laughing and playfully poking each other, the faintest flicker of their old selves might have stirred in the depths of their minds. But the feeling was fleeting, drowned out by the overwhelming simplicity of their new lives.
Because Brad and Madison didn’t need to wonder or analyze anymore. Life was perfect. Simple, sunny, and carefree. And honestly? They wouldn’t have it any other way.
A week later, Brad and Madison found themselves at the beach, their favorite hangout spot after a long day of football and cheer practice. Madison adjusted her pink bikini and squealed, “Brad, let’s, like, take a selfie! We’re, like, the hottest couple at school, duh!”
Brad smirked, slipping an arm around her tiny waist. “For sure, babe. Gotta show off how shredded I am, ya know?” He flexed dramatically as Madison snapped photos with her phone.
The two sprawled out on their beach towels, sipping soda and laughing at dumb jokes. Brad stared out at the ocean, his mind blissfully empty. “Man, I’m, like, so stoked for the party tonight. Gonna shotgun, like, a million beers.”
Madison giggled. “Brad, you’re soooo silly. But, like, don’t get too crazy, ‘kay? I need you to, like, carry me when my heels hurt later.”
“Anything for my girl,” Brad said, planting a kiss on her lips. For a moment, a shadow of their old selves flickered, like a ghost of Sam and Maggie trying to break through. But it was quickly drowned out by the pounding surf and the warmth of the sun.
As the waves crashed against the shore, Brad and Madison held hands, their new lives stretching out before them like an endless summer. Nerdy, progressive Sam and Maggie were gone for good, and neither Brad nor Madison cared to remember them.
“Life’s, like, sooo perfect,” Madison sighed.
“Totally,” Brad agreed. And together, they watched the sun dip below the horizon, lost in their carefree, simple happiness.
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strangelittlestories · 8 months ago
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There’s a larp (live action roleplaying) game that I play, where there exists a creature we have dubbed a ‘Chronovore’.
This planet-sized sci-fi beastie eats time via a cool-ass external digestive system that ranges out from its main corpus (what are effectively its digestive enzymes look like glowing blue-winged angels, which are creepy as sin).
My character in this game fell victim to said chronovoric digestion and was aged 30 years by the experience. They lost what they expected to be the most valuable years of their life - the time when they expected to most make a difference to the universe.
I have a lot of emotions about this. Especially because when I look at my life aged 39 and consider the shape I am trying to hammer it into, one thought keeps recurring: I wish I had started this work sooner.
And then I consider my ADHD (a condition I am really certain I have, but am still seeking diagnosis for) and damn if I do not feel like it straight up ate decades of my life.
That’s how it feels, gang. There’s this bubbling resentful rage and grief for years spent with an invisible wall between me and what I wanted. For the nights where I spent (and still spend) revenge procrastinating and wrecking my days. For all the hours chasing short-term dopamine that was often destructive for me.
Hours. Days. Years. Eaten by a part of me that often feels like a monster squatting in my brain, hiding in my bones.
It reminds me, too, of that scene from a Hammer Horror movie where a monster expert is talking about vampires and says something like “Oh, you still think vamps are just things with big teeth that gotta bite your neck and drink your blood? Sweet baby, there’s all kinds of these creatures; some of them just fully suck your life straight out of your soul.”
This is why I don’t think I’ll ever think of my ADHD as a superpower. Or, at least, if it is: it’s from one of those gritty think piece superhero stories where your power is also a hecking curse.
I am preoccupied by what my own brain has taken from me.
And the thing is: it’s not really true. At least, not all the way true.
Those years I think of as lost were filled with good times. I made meaningful connections. I wrote poems and stories that I love. I performed art that meant something to me in front of people who enjoyed it. I consumed a lot of good media. I learned and dreamed and tried really hard to be a person I could be happy being.
But I also let a lot of the things fall into the background. I started a lot, but didn’t finish a lot. I missed the chance to work on skills that are now harder to learn because I’m older.
So I find myself cursing the Chronovore.
I nearly wrote this as a piece of fiction. If I had, I would probably have ended with the protagonist finding a way to subvert or redeem or work with the Chronovore.
Maybe the satisfying ending just this: none of us get as much time as we want. We all give time away - whether it be taxed by things we resent or gifted to what is important.
The Chronovore is not special.
And if it is not special, then it is mutable.
Maybe that is enough.
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ijustmissyouraccenths · 1 year ago
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The Alchemy
AU where Harry is the star quarterback at his college and y/n is an English major.
Based very loosely off The Alchemy by Taylor Swift
CW: Smut
Word Count: 6,871
Leaving my family to go to University was a bittersweet decision. My heart tugged at the thought of being away from them, but my passion for mastering the art of English pulled me towards my dream. My family had always been my biggest supporters and I wanted to make them proud by becoming an English professor. This meant leaving behind my comfortable life in a small suburban town in Florida to study abroad at one of the most prestigious universities. The campus was nestled in the very heart of where literary greats had once roamed and created their masterpieces. It was as if the walls exuded inspiration and creativity, urging me to chase after my dreams with even more fervor. Though I missed my family dearly, I knew that this journey would lead me to become the best version of myself and honor their unwavering support and love.
It was a whirlwind of experiences as I made my way through the unfamiliar streets. The currency conversion was a constant challenge, with every transaction feeling like a game of guesswork. And then there was the driving - on the opposite side of the road no less - which required all of my concentration to avoid any mishaps. But perhaps most daunting of all was the non-stop partying at pubs, a culture shock for someone like me who had grown up in a small town in America.
Thankfully, I was able to find a flat that was within walking distance from the school, and even luckier to have another American girl as my roommate. Mia was a sweet, bubbly girl from the middle of nowhere Kansas, embracing every aspect of British culture including the pub scene and the charming local lads.
Living with Mia meant constantly having people over, and it seemed like every night brought new faces into our home. I didn't mind too much, mostly enjoying the lively atmosphere and meeting new people. However, there were definitely some moments that tested my patience, like when one of Mia's friends named Arthur ended up getting sick and leaving his mark in our kitchen. Despite these occasional hiccups, I was grateful for this experience abroad and all the unique encounters it brought my way.
Though Mia's social butterfly nature could be trying at times, I appreciated her warm companionship in this foreign place. It was on one such night, after we had cleaned up the remnants of Arthur's ill-fated escapades, that we found ourselves cozied up with mugs of tea and watching the rain patter against the windows. 
Mia was unusually pensive as she stared out into the drizzly Manchester night. "You know," she began softly, "sometimes I wonder if I'm chasing the wrong dreams. My parents wanted me to become a doctor or lawyer, something stereotypically successful, but I just wanted adventure. Now here I am, living it up in England, but it all feels...empty, like I'm still searching for meaning."
I nodded thoughtfully, sensing the vulnerability in her words. Though Mia put on a bubbly facade, there was more depth to her than met the eye. 
"I think the great thing about being here is that we have time to figure it all out," I offered gently. "We're writing our own stories, not just following someone else's script." 
Mia smiled, some of the spark returning to her eyes. "You're right. That's exactly why I love being here with you."
As the rain continued to drum against the windows, Mia and I sat in comfortable silence for a moment, each lost in our own thoughts. Finally, Mia turned to me with a curious expression.
"Do you ever have doubts about your dreams, too?" Mia asked, her voice tinged with vulnerability.
I considered her question for a moment before responding, "All the time. Sometimes I wonder if I'm on the right path or if I'm just going through the motions."
Mia nodded understandingly, her eyes reflecting the shimmer of uncertainty. "It's scary, isn't it? The idea that we might wake up one day and realize we've been chasing a dream all along."
I placed a comforting hand on Mia's shoulder. "It is scary, but it's also part of the journey. We're allowed to question and evolve along the way."
She smiled weakly, her gaze drifting back to the rain-splattered window. "I guess that's what makes life interesting, right? The uncertainty of it all."
Our conversation was interrupted by a sudden knock on the door. Mia got up to answer it, revealing a group of our friends who had decided to brave the rainy night for an impromptu gathering.
"Come in, come in!" Mia exclaimed cheerfully, ushering everyone inside. The room quickly filled with laughter and chatter as our friends settled in.
As I looked around the group, my eyes landed on a few familiar faces who have crossed paths with me several times before. Among them was Arthur, a friendly face that always brought a sense of comfort and familiarity. As everyone piled into the room, my gaze wandered to him - Harry Styles, the renowned quarterback of our school's football team. I couldn't help but feel a tinge of excitement at being in the presence of such a well-known athlete. When I first arrived from the United States, I had assumed the term "football" referred to what we call soccer back home. But as I soon discovered, American Football was just as beloved and popular in the UK.
Harry noticed me looking his way and met my gaze. There was an intensity in his green eyes that made me quickly avert my own, focusing instead on my friend Grace who was animatedly sharing a story next to me. 
I tried to tune into her words, but my thoughts kept drifting back to the handsome footballer across the room. By all accounts, Harry was cocky, brash, and a bit of a player. And yet, I couldn't deny there was something magnetic about him. He carried himself with a self-assured swagger, his athletic frame filling out his clothes in a way that betrayed his strength. 
I scolded myself internally. Just because he's nice to look at doesn't change the fact that he seems like an arrogant jock. Still, when our eyes met again, I felt a flutter in my stomach I couldn't ignore. 
Harry said something to his friend that made the group erupt into laughter. He flashed a crooked smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. I quickly looked away once more, but the image of his smile lingered in my mind.
Get it together, I told myself sternly. Harry is off-limits. With his reputation, getting involved would only lead to trouble. I turned my focus back to Grace, pushing all thoughts of Harry's eyes, smile and broad shoulders out of my head. 
For the rest of the night, I avoided looking in Harry's direction, though I could feel his gaze on me periodically as the hours wore on. By the time people started trickling out, I felt certain I had avoided any direct interaction with the dashing footballer. 
That is, until I went to lock the door behind the last guest and found him standing there. He flashed that crooked smile again as he leaned against the door frame. "See you around, Y/N," he said, holding my gaze for a moment before disappearing into the night. I stood frozen, my heart racing as I replayed those five simple words in my head.
As I stood there in shock at Harry's unexpected presence, I couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions swirling inside me. His parting words echoed in my mind, leaving me slightly breathless and unsure of what to make of the situation. Gathering my composure, I locked the door behind him and turned to find Mia watching me with a knowing smile.
"Looks like someone caught your eye, Y/N," Mia teased, nudging me playfully. "Harry Styles, huh? Quite the charmer."
I flushed slightly at her comment, trying to brush off any implications. "Oh, come on, Mia. It's not like that," I deflected, hoping to downplay the significance of the moment.
But Mia wasn't convinced. "Sure, sure," she replied with a wink. "Just remember, not all that glitters is gold."
Her words lingered in my mind as I bid her goodnight and retreated to my room. Sitting on my bed, I couldn't shake off the image of Harry's smile or the way he had looked at me in that brief moment by the door. The conflicting thoughts swirled in my head, leaving me restless and contemplative.
The following day at school, as I made my way through the bustling halls, I noticed a familiar figure leaning against the lockers up ahead. It was Harry, his usual confident demeanor on full display as he chatted with his friends. As our eyes met briefly, he flashed a grin in my direction before turning back to his conversation.
Feeling a surge of boldness, I approached him tentatively. "Hey, Harry," I greeted him, trying to keep my tone casual despite the flutter in my stomach.
"Hey there, Y/N," he responded with a smirk, his green eyes twinkling mischievously. "Didn't think you'd show up here again so soon."
I felt my cheeks flush at his words. Clearly he was referring to my abrupt exit last night after our brief encounter at the door. I scrambled to think of a clever response. 
"Well, we do go to the same school," I pointed out, trying to keep my voice light despite the nerves I felt. 
Harry chuckled, crossing his arms over his broad chest as he regarded me with amusement. 
"True enough," he conceded. "But I got the sense you were trying to avoid me last night. Did I make you nervous?"
His bluntness took me aback. I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out. Harry's eyes danced with mirth at my flustered state. 
"Cat got your tongue?" He teased. 
I took a steadying breath, determined not to let him get the best of me. "You wish," I retorted, hoping the bravado in my voice sounded more convincing than I felt. 
Harry laughed, a rich warm sound that made my knees weak. Our eyes locked and in that moment, it was like the noisy hallway melted away and there was only the two of us.
"Feisty. I like it," he murmured. Before I could respond, the warning bell rang, snapping us both back to reality. 
"See you around, Y/N," Harry said with a wink before disappearing into the swarm of students heading to class. 
My body froze in place, heart thudding against my ribs as I gazed at the infamous Harry. He exuded an undeniable air of trouble, and yet, as our charged banter replayed in my mind, I couldn't deny the adrenaline pumping through my veins. With a determined stride, I made my way to class, refusing to let this boy be the cause of my tardiness.
I took a seat in my Studies of Shakespeare class, the one subject I truly loved. The works of William Shakespeare never failed to captivate me, and if you could understand the Elizabethan lingo, his witty humor shone through brilliantly. Unfortunately, this particular teacher seemed to have a talent for draining all the life and humor out of these masterpieces.
I tried to focus as the professor droned on about the themes in Romeo and Juliet, but my mind kept wandering back to my encounter with Harry. Something about our charged banter had awakened feelings in me that I didn't quite understand. 
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a folded piece of paper land on my desk as if taken out of a scene from a movie. I looked around furtively before opening it. In an unfamiliar scrawling handwriting it read:
"What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun." - H
I felt a thrill run through me and quickly tucked the note into my bag before the professor could notice. So Harry was in this class too? I scanned the room subtly until I spotted him a few rows behind me. He caught my eye and gave me a roguish wink.
I turned back to the front, trying to ignore the simmering exhilaration I felt. Over the next few days, the notes kept coming during Shakespeare class, each with a quote or two from the Bard himself. They were usually cheeky and flirtatious, hinting at some blossoming rapport between us.
I found myself anticipating each one, my heart skipping a beat when I would spot a new folded note on my desk. Our eyes would meet across the room, a hidden smile just between us.
After class one day, as I gathered my things, I sensed Harry approach my desk. "So when's our study session?" he asked nonchalantly, though there was a glint of something more in his eyes. I hesitated, knowing I should keep my distance, yet unable to deny I was intrigued.
I nervously tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, trying to appear nonchalant. "Well, I don't know... I've heard you're not the most dedicated studier," I teased, giving him a playful smile.
Harry chuckled, his eyes sparkling mischievously. "Oh, but that's where you're wrong. I may not look like it, but I'm quite the Shakespeare aficionado," he replied with a grin.
I raised an eyebrow in skepticism. "Is that so? Well, I suppose we could arrange a study session... if you can prove your expertise," I challenged, a hint of challenge in my tone.
His grin widened, accepting the challenge. "Consider it done. How about we meet at the library tomorrow after school?" Harry suggested, his gaze unwavering.
I hesitated for a moment, the thrill of anticipation coursing through me. "Alright, it's a date then," I agreed, feeling a rush of excitement at the prospect of spending more time with him.
As the final bell rang, signaling the end of the school day, Harry flashed me one last grin before disappearing into the bustling hallway. My heart raced with both nervousness and exhilaration as I packed up my belongings, eager for our upcoming study session.
The following day at the library, I found myself anxiously scanning the room for Harry. My pulse quickened when I spotted him sitting at a table in the corner, a stack of Shakespearean plays spread out in front of him.
I made my way over to him, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement swirling inside me. "Ready to impress me with your Shakespeare knowledge?" I asked with a teasing smile as I took a seat across from him.
Harry flashed me a charming grin. "Just watch and learn," he said confidently, picking up a copy of Romeo and Juliet and flipping to a random page.
As he began to recite lines from the play with passion and flair, I couldn't help but be captivated by his enthusiasm. His eyes lit up as he delved into each line, bringing the centuries-old words to life in a way that was both mesmerizing and captivating.
By the time our study session ended, I found myself completely enthralled by Harry's interpretation of Shakespeare's works. As we gathered our things to leave, he turned to me with a twinkle in his eye, he knew a lot more about the works than he let on to.
Harry turned to me, “So now that I’ve shown you i’m smart, I know Shakespeare, when are you coming to one of my games?” he asked confidently.
I was taken aback by his forward invitation. Attending one of his football games felt intimate in a way that made me nervous. 
"Oh, um, I don't know..." I fumbled over my words, suddenly feeling shy. 
Harry tilted his head, giving me a crooked smile. "Come on, it'll be fun. I'll even give you a personal tour of the field afterwards," he joked. 
I bit my lip, considering it. There was no denying I felt drawn to him, despite trying to keep my distance. And the thought of seeing him command the field sent a little thrill through me. 
"Alright, I suppose I could stop by," I finally conceded, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear self-consciously. 
Harry's face lit up. "Brilliant! Our next game is on Friday. I'll leave a ticket for you at will call," he said eagerly.
I nodded, butterflies taking flight in my stomach. "Okay, yeah. I’ll see you then," I replied softly. 
Harry gave me a dazzling smile and I felt my knees go weak.
Friday night arrived and I found myself filled with nervous excitement as I made my way to the football stadium. I couldn't believe I had actually agreed to come watch Harry play. As I approached the ticket booth, I gave my name and they handed me the ticket Harry had left for me. 
I found my seat in the packed bleachers and waited anxiously for the game to start. When the players rushed onto the field, I immediately spotted Harry's mop of curly hair. He looked focused and determined as he took his position on the field. 
As the game began, I was immediately drawn in by Harry's commanding presence on the field. His movements were fluid and precise, each pass and dodge executed with passion and skill. With each successful play, the crowd erupted into thunderous cheers, mirroring my own excitement. It was impossible not to join in, jumping to my feet and cheering for Harry along with everyone else.
At halftime, Harry made his way over to the sidelines, sweat glistening on his forehead and tattooed arms, his chest heaving from exertion. As he scanned the crowd for familiar faces, his eyes locked onto mine and a wide grin spread across his face. He waved enthusiastically, causing my cheeks to flush as I shyly waved back in return. 
In the second half of the game, Harry's presence seemed to radiate even more brightly. With each touchdown he scored, his fists pumped triumphantly in the air. The crowd roared and cheered as he ripped off his helmet and hoisted it victoriously above his head, his teammates swarming around him in celebration.
As the stadium emptied out, I stayed behind with a swarm of butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I couldn't wait to see Harry once again. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he emerged from the locker room, his hair still damp from his post-game shower but his eyes shining with joy.
"So, what did you think?" he asked eagerly as he approached me.
"You were truly spectacular out there," I gushed earnestly. A wide grin stretched across Harry's face.
"Come on, let me give you that promised tour," he said playfully, offering me his arm. Laughing, I happily took it and followed him onto the empty field, my heart racing with excitement and admiration for the amazing athlete by my side.
Harry led me onto the empty stadium field, the night air crisp and cool against our skin. He pointed out spots on the grass where pivotal plays had happened, describing them with a passion that revealed his deep love for the game. 
I found myself enthralled, leaning into him as we walked, his arm solid and warm beneath my hand. When we reached the middle of the field, he turned to face me. His eyes were soft, searching my face in the dim glow of the stadium lights. 
"You know, I was afraid you wouldn't come tonight," he admitted quietly. 
I tilted my head. "Why's that?"
He shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips. "You never seemed to like me much before. I figured I wasn't your type."
Heat rose to my cheeks. He wasn't wrong - I'd unfairly judged him as arrogant and cocky. But tonight had shattered those assumptions. 
"I guess I realized there's more to you than meets the eye," I said softly. 
Harry's smile widened. He lifted his hand, gently tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. My breath caught at his touch. Slowly, he leaned in. I let my eyes fall shut in anticipation...
But suddenly, the stadium lights flickered off, plunging us into darkness. We jumped apart in surprise. 
Harry laughed. "Guess that's our cue to head out." 
He took my hand, interlacing our fingers, and led me towards the parking lot. I walked close beside him, hyper-aware of his palm pressed against mine.
As he towered over me, Harry's eyes scanned the street, searching for a car. "Where did you park?" he asked, his voice deep and smooth.
I shifted nervously on my feet, avoiding eye contact. "Oh. Uh. I didn't drive. I just live around the street," I murmured, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment. The thought of navigating English roads was terrifying to me.
A warm chuckle escaped from Harry's lips as he looked back down at me. "I can drive you home, love," he offered, extending a hand towards me. His scent wafted towards me - a mix of cologne and something woodsy - and I couldn't help but feel a flutter in my stomach at his closeness.
As Harry and I walked towards his car, our hands still entwined, I felt a sense of excitement and anticipation build within me. "So, tell me more about this amazing game-winning touchdown," I teased, trying to break the silence that had fallen between us.
Harry laughed softly, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he glanced at me sideways. "Oh, you mean the one where I body-slammed the other team's runner into oblivion?" He pretended to flex his muscles playfully. "That was pretty epic, if I do say so myself."
I shook my head, feigning disbelief. "You're such a show-off," I said with a grin. "I bet you were the star of the school playground too."
Harry snorted. "Hardly. I was more of a loner growing up. Spent most of my time with my nose buried in books."
"Really?" I raised an eyebrow in surprise. "And here I thought all jocks were brain-dead."
He laughed again, his laughter echoing through the empty streets as we walked towards his car. When we finally reached it, Harry unlocked the door and gestured for me to get inside. As I slid into the passenger seat, I couldn't help but notice how perfectly he filled the driver's seat - broad shoulders tapering down to narrow hips and long legs. The image of him all sweaty and wet from a shower flashed through my mind, making my cheeks heat up again.
"So," Harry began as he started the engine and pulled out onto the road, his eyes fixed on the road ahead, "tell me more about yourself."
I felt myself blush even harder at his directness but decided to play along. "Well," I said slowly, thinking quickly. "I'm a huge bookworm too - Harry Potter is probably my favorite series ever."
Harry chuckled softly as he glanced at me briefly before looking back at the road. "I can see why you fit right in here in England then."
We drove through the quiet streets in companionable silence for a while before Harry spoke up again. "You know, you don't have to act all tough around me," he said quietly, his eyes still on the road as he slowed down at a stoplight.
I turned to face him fully now, surprised by his words. "I wasn't trying to be tough," I said defensively. "I just didn't want you to think that... well, never mind what I didn't want you to think," I muttered under my breath.
Harry's face softened into a gentle smile as he reached out to brush a strand of hair behind my ear once again - a gesture that sent shivers down my spine despite the warmth of the car interior. "It's okay," he murmured soothingly as he took my hand in his once more and squeezed gently before letting go when the light turned green again.
The rest of our drive was filled with more easy conversation punctuated by moments of awkward silence broken only by the sounds of our breathing and occasional traffic noises outside. When we finally pulled up outside my house I found myself hesitating before opening the car door knowing that this was goodbye.
Under the dim glow of the street lamp, I tentatively turned to face Harry. "Thanks for...for tonight," I stammered out, suddenly self-conscious under his intense gaze. 
His emerald eyes twinkled mysteriously as he simply nodded and began unbuckling his seatbelt. His eyes never left mine, setting off a simmering warmth between us that was hard to ignore. 
"I should probably walk you to your door," he said softly, accentuating each word with an inexplicably seductive lilt. My heart pounded in my chest as we exited the car and made our way towards my apartment.
Once at the front door, we stood facing each other in silence, the air around us thick with unspoken words and desires. I felt his strong fingers gently cradle my chin, tilting my face up to meet his gaze. The intensity of this simple touch sent sparks racing down my spine, pooling heat in places I hadn't even known existed.
"Can I come inside?" His voice was barely a whisper but it echoed loudly in my ears.
My mind screamed caution but my body had other plans. “Yes,” I breathed out, unlocking the door and pulling him inside.
Inside, Harry's lips found mine in a searing kiss that left me breathless. His tongue teased against mine, creating a warm and delicious friction that sent shivers down my legs. As he pressed his hips against me, I could feel the unmistakable hardness growing between us. Our hands roamed freely over each other's bodies, exploring new territory and seeking pleasure through every touch.
Harry's fingers made their way to the waistband of my skirt, pulling it down over my hips and letting it fall to the ground. He lifted me up onto the edge of a nearby table, spreading my legs slightly as he stood between them. The feel of his fingers brushing against my inner thigh caused me to gasp and arch my back in anticipation.
Harry pulled back abruptly,“I’m sorry,” He started, “that was really inappropriate.”
As Harry apologized, his eyes were drawn to the hint of my arousal peeking out from between my legs. His hesitation vanished as his fingers brushed against my wetness once more, this time without pulling away. He groaned in approval and leaned forward, pressing his lips against mine once more. I craved him in the worst ways.
Our tongues tangled as he pushed me back onto the table, spreading my legs further apart. His hands found their way under my shirt, skimming over my stomach before lifting it up, exposing my bra-clad breasts. He took a deep breath, inhaling my scent and trailing his fingers lightly across one tight nipple.
"Harry," I moaned, cavinginto his touch. "Please don't stop."
He smirked wickedly down at me before pulling back slightly. In one swift motion, he yanked my shirt over my head, tossing it aside carelessly. Grabbing hold of both sides of my bra, he pulled it down too with such force that my breasts were freed from their confinement.
I gasped at the sudden rush of air hitting my sensitive nipples but before I could catch my breath, he took one of them into his mouth sucking hard while pinching the other between two fingers, teasing it mercilessly.
"Fuck," I whimpered, clawing at the table underneath me as pleasure coursed through me like lightning. The intense mix of pain and pleasure sent waves of desire crashing over me as I felt myself becoming wetter with every passing second.
Sliding one hand down towards his pants, I slowly undid the button and zipper before slipping my hand inside his boxers to grip him firmly around his growing erection. He groaned into my breast at the contact sending shivers down my spine.
"You want me to fuck you?" he whispered hoarsely against my skin leaving a trail of saliva along my collarbone as he ran his tongue upwards caressingly .
"Yes," I breathed out between parted lips unable to form complete words due to the intensity of emotions running through me. 
My heart raced as his erection throbbed in my hand. I could feel the heat radiating off his skin, mixed with the desire that seemed to emanate from him. His other hand slid down my back, over my ass cheeks, and gripped them roughly, pulling me closer against his hardness.
"Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are? You and your little shy good girl act" he growled into my neck, nipping at the skin there softly. With one swift movement, he lifted me up onto the countertop, pushing my legs apart with his hips. His mouth trailed kisses along my jawline, down my throat, and on my breasts. 
I arched my back slightly offering myself to him more fully as he took a hungry mouthful of one of my nipples into his mouth sucking on it hard while pinching the other between his fingers causing a sharp intake of breath from me which made him smile devilishly before moving on to devour the other one.
My body trembled with anticipation as he bit my neck playfully, his rough hands sliding over my hips and ass cheeks before pulling me against him. His cock twitched against my wet core, making me whimper in want. "You like that, don't you?" he growled, his voice low and husky. "You're so fucking beautiful."
"Harry," I moaned, my voice reduced to a desperate whimper as he continued teasing me with his words and touches. "Please..."
The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, along with our ragged breathing and the occasional moan. I could feel myself getting lost in the sensations, my body responding eagerly to his movements. His hands were everywhere, tracing over my curves and gripping me tightly as he pounded into me.
My own hands were roaming his back, digging into his flesh as I tried to hold on to something amidst the overwhelming pleasure that was coursing through me. Every inch of my body felt on fire, and I couldn't get enough.
"Fuck," he grunted, his face contorting with pleasure. "You feel so good."
I whimpered in response, unable to form any coherent words as he continued to move inside me relentlessly. My whole world had narrowed down to this moment – his body against mine, the sound of our bodies coming together in a perfect rhythm.
My mind was blissfully blank as he increased his pace, his thrusts becoming rougher and more urgent. I could feel my climax building up within me, like a fire threatening to consume me whole.
And then it hit me like a tidal wave – intense and all-consuming. My back arched off the counter as I cried out his name, my body trembling with pleasure as every nerve ending exploded with ecstasy.
He followed soon after, letting out a loud groan as he spilled himself inside me. We stayed still for a moment, trying to catch our breaths and bask in the aftermath of our passion.
But eventually reality came crashing back around us. Panic started creeping up inside me as I tried to gather my thoughts and make sense of what had just happened. 
As I lay there, my heart still pounding in my chest, he gently pulled out of me and straightened up. His eyes, dark with desire just moments ago, now softened with a mixture of tenderness and regret.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice barely audible over the sound of our heavy breathing. "I shouldn't have let things go this far."
I sat up slowly, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside me – confusion, guilt, and a lingering sense of pleasure that refused to dissipate. 
"It's not just your fault," I murmured, avoiding his gaze as I tried to gather my clothes around me. "I wanted this too."
He reached out a hand to touch my arm, but hesitated before making contact.
"We should talk about this," he said finally, his tone serious. "About what it means for us."
I nodded slowly, feeling the weight of his words settling between us. What had started as a moment of passion had now morphed into something more complicated, something that demanded attention and discussion.
As we dressed in silence, the air in the room felt charged with unspoken thoughts and emotions. The intensity of our physical connection lingered like a ghost between us, refusing to be ignored.
We began to gather our clothes from around the room, now tainted with the evidence of our reckless choices. Harry buried his face into his shirt before pulling it on, perhaps ruminating on what just occurred, or maybe trying to drown out the reality with the lingering scent of his cologne.
"Y/n," he started after a long silence, pulling his trousers up. His voice sounded strained, an indication that he was struggling with the right choice of words. "I... I didn't mean for this to... I mean, I like spending time with you." He sighed heavily, rubbing his face between his large palms.
I remained silent as I fastened my bra. The finality in his voice was suffocating, making it harder for me to breathe with each passing moment. I felt my heart thumping loudly in my chest – a crude reminder of the complication we had willingly dived into.
"I like you, Y/N," he said finally, his voice a hoarse whisper. The words hung in the air between us, hovering like a dense fog, obscuring any clarity that might lie beyond.
I stopped fumbling with my blouse, my fingers stilled by his confession. "Harry," I began, my voice barely audible. Fear clung to me, making my words tremble.
"I know," he cut me off before I could finish what I started. "I know we're both in different places... Me with football and you with your studies." There was a tingling silence after his statement, as if he was waiting for me to confirm or deny his declaration.
I sighed heavily, tugging at the hem of my blouse, feeling the cool fabric against my still heated skin. "It's not that simple Harry," I admitted, blinking back tears that had started to sting my eyes. "This," I motioned around the room, encompassing our discarded underwear strewn haphazardly around the room - a silent testament to the passion that had just consumed us, "this complicates things."
He ran his hand through his tousled hair and nodded solemnly. "I understand," he replied, a hint of resignation etching lines onto his face. His gaze was heavy with something akin to regret as it met mine.
My breath hitched in my throat at the intensity of his stare. I wanted desperately to reach out and ease the burden that seemed to weigh heavily on him. But reality was an insidious shadow that lurked in our midst, reminding us of the impracticality of our desires.
"I think it's better if we keep our distance for now," Harry broke the silence after what felt like an eternity. His words were like cold water dousing the fire that our bodies had kindled only moments ago.
A feeling of sudden emptiness clawed at me. His words, though probably said in goodwill, felt like a punch to my gut. I swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over.
I nodded, unable to bring myself to utter a word. He stepped towards me and for a moment I thought he would pull me into his arms one last time. But he merely extended a hand that I shook lightly, the gesture felt impersonal after the intimacy we had just shared.
Without another word, he turned and left the room. I stood still in the silence that followed, the sound of his departing footsteps echoing in my ears long after he was gone.
Mia came home later that night, oblivious to the charged atmosphere that still lingered, suffocating and heavy in the air. Her chatter about an extra credit assignment she’d completed was a stark contrast to the silence that had enveloped the room just hours ago. 
“Y/N, are you okay?” she asked suddenly, noticing my distant gaze. I gave her a weak smile in response before excusing myself to bed.
As I lay there in the dark, staring at the ceiling, Harry's words echoed through my mind. "I think it's better if we keep our distance for now." His voice was etched into my memory, roughened by regret and something else I couldn't quite place. His face bore an expression that told me this was as hard for him as it was for me.
The next day was a blur. My classes seemed trivial compared to the turmoil swirling in my mind. My interactions with others were mechanical and flat as if I was watching myself from outside my body.
Football practice was going on when I walked past the field on my way back from the campus library. My eyes instinctively sought out Harry among the sea of players. I found him focused on his game, every muscle in his body straining as he kicked the ball towards the goalpost.
His world seemed unchanged—still revolving around football—while mine felt like it had been knocked off its axis.
The following weeks were no easier. Everywhere I went, I could feel his presence like a phantom pain - a dull ache that refused to fade away. In every conversation, every song playing in the background, every corner of campus - Harry was there.
I knew we had made a rational decision, given our circumstances. But my heart couldn't comprehend what my mind had already accepted.
Months passed and winter set in, blanketing Manchester in white. Serene and beautiful yet so melancholy it mirrored my mood perfectly. The once familiar campus looked different under the soft glow of the snow as if to mirror the change that had occurred in my life.
One evening, as I was walking back from the library, I spotted Harry sitting alone on a bench, bundled up in a thick coat, his breath misting in the frigid air. His eyes were trained on the football field, currently blanketed by snow, and his hands were tucked into his pockets, his usual energy replaced by a pensive quietness.
I hesitated, weighing my options. We hadn't spoken since that night – the night when our worlds collided and then abruptly fell apart. But something drew me towards him – an inexplicable magnetism I had been fighting for so long.
Stepping tentatively closer, I cleared my throat to announce my presence. "Harry," I said softly, trying not to startle him.
He looked up at the sound of my voice, surprise flickering across his features before they settled into guarded neutrality. "Y/N," he responded with a curt nod, but made no move to invite me to sit.
Taking a leap of faith, I lowered myself onto the bench next to him, maintaining some distance while also bracing for the icy cold through my jeans. For several minutes we sat in silence, lost in our own thoughts as we stared out at the snowy field.
"I've missed you." The words slipped out before I could stop them.
He turned toward me then, his emerald eyes soft and searching as they met mine. His lips opened as if to say something but closed again as if reconsidering his words.
"Y/N..." His voice trailed off and there was a long pause before he continued. "I’ve missed you too."
Relief washed over me at his confession but it was quickly replaced with a gnawing sadness as I realized that missing each other wasn’t enough to bridge the gap between us. Our realities were still the same - he was still the star football player with ambitions bigger than Manchester itself and I was still an English major trying to carve out a place for myself in academia.
“Do you ever think about…?” I started, swallowing hard as I tried to voice the question that had been eating at me.
“Us?” He completed my sentence, his voice barely above a whisper. His gaze was heavy but he held it steady, openly showing the vulnerability he usually kept hidden beneath his star athlete facade. “All the time.”
The honesty in his confession hit me harder than I expected. We were both stuck in our respective worlds, looking at each other from afar but never truly reaching out.
I took a deep breath, feeling the biting winter air fill my lungs before exhaling slowly. “We can’t keep doing this, Harry,” I said finally, breaking the silence that had fallen between us.
He looked at me then, his gaze filled with understanding and something else I couldn't quite place. “I know,” he replied softly, his eyes never leaving mine.
The future was uncertain and full of challenges. But if there was one thing I had learnt from this whole ordeal, it was that some chances are worth taking. No matter how daunting they may seem.
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