#it's something that I read back at school << torture devices had to be efficient and easy to move and assemble

[ndostairlyrium]

what would you even do with so many iron maidens???

[luna-paradoxz]

Quirkless creator

Summary -  Todoroki Shouto doesn't have a quirk but he wants to help people. U.A helps him realise that dreams and changes are something to be embraced. 

A/N-  Just a story idea that I decided to experiment with. if you liked it please review and I might expand the idea a bit more. ko-fi commissions.

He was born quirk less, something that greatly shocked his father. At first, his father had trained him resiliently assuming he was going to be the one with the perfect quirk that the man had always wanted. Then he had turned 7 and had still not manifested any quirk. The doctor's declaration was cold and straight to point, his toe was bent and he was quirkless. It had hurt him, his father ignored his existence, his siblings never approached him and he only had his mother. For a year though, she miscarried in April and in May she threw boiling water at his face. His right side had a nasty burn and her mother had been removed from his side. Since then he had always been alone and the loneliness had become his only friend.

It didn't matter though, he had gotten used to it. He was used to the bullying he faced in school and he was used to the ghost of a house. It was quite easy to get used to them, years pass and his heart just stops feeling. In the current society, this was the fate of every quirkless. He was still better than most of them as he still got a good education and could probably get a good enough job in the future. The only thing he will never have is a loved one but that is ok, humans can survive even if they are alone.

His harsh reality was his normality and he didn't find any fault in it.

He chose UA for his high school though and his sister had looked very uneasy when she had seen him off for his entrance exam. Since the last year of his junior high, his sister Fuyumi Todoroki had moved into his house and was living with him. She was trying her best to become family with him but things were still messy and awkward, he was still grateful for her effort. That is most anything has ever done for him, his mother had once loved him but he has forgotten her warmth, soon he will forget her voice and one day he will forget her face too. It can't be helped, she probably doesn't even want to see his face again and he won't torture her any more than she already is.

He had chosen the support school of UA as hero course was impossible for him. Support course only had a written test so it technically didn't matter if he doesn't have a quirk. Naturally, they assumed everyone had a quirk though and he doesn't even blink at there shocked faces when they learn he is quirkless. It is the usual thing but he is glad in UA at the least they just ignore his presence and didn't bully him, they still talked a lot behind his back but he ignored it. He has heard all those words a thousand times by now so he doesn't care. It is easier to not care than to care and after all.

It is still bad in UA because UA was UA and it is very shocking for a quirkless of all people to be here. With his fortune, he could have gone in another school quite easily but once in past he had wanted to be a hero just like All might, that dream had crashed quite quickly but a part of it remained. The part that wanted to help people in some way, to be a hero in some way. There were other jobs, they were many other jobs that saved people too but once he had visited UA's culture festival and had gotten chance to make a support device on his own, and a student had tried it.

He had made a simple jet gun for a water quirk and the student behind the stall had complimented him saying he had a talent for it. He had made his decision. They may not be a hero directly but because of them the heroes could work more effectively, save more people and defeat more Villians efficiently. He could be a hero behind the curtains and that was enough for him, for someone like him. He had joined the support course and he had been glad he had done it because he met someone who talked to him as an equal.

Hatsume Mei was an interesting person, she was genius and like a mad genius, she only cared about her creations and her ability to create. For her nothing else mattered, she didn't care he was quirkless as long as he could keep up with her ideas, discuss them with her and create things as par as her, she would talk to him. They were maybe friends, he doesn't know he has never had friends but he spent most of the time in school with her discussing all of their crazy creations and creating things in their teacher's lab. Power-sensei was a bit hard on them, always scolding them for the mess they create in his lab but he never kicked them out and listened to there endless brainstormings.

The school had become an oasis for him with Hatsume and Power-sensei there. They treated him like a normal person and talked to him like you would to anyone else, their topics were not normal but it was enough for him, enough to give provide him peace and strength to get through the three years of his high school. Everyone around them did make up all kinds of rumours like they might be dating but that was not possible. Hatsume saw him as a partner that was equal to her in the theoretical aspect of creations and he saw her as a good partner too who could care less about his status. He didn't harbour romantic feelings towards her or anyone for that matter and he never will probably because truly making friends was already impossible for him, lovers were out of the realm of the possibility. And not to be rude he doesn't think Hatsume will develop romantic feelings for someone that easily, at least not right now. Maybe in future when her dream of being the best creator becomes real, but right now she had only eyes for her creations and not anything else or anyone else. Heck, she didn't even study for the tests that resulted in many times for her being threatened to expulsion even though it has been only two months since they started school. Her genius creation ability was one of the few reasons Power-sensei handled her interesting personality and didn't kick her out of his class or school for that matter.

He doesn't want this scenery to change, this much is enough for him but change is an internal part of life and he learns this when he bumps with a girl with a fluffy ponytail and very honest eyes. He was walking in corridors to the canteen to get some lunch. He was listening to Hatsume as she went on about a new power suit she was developing, he was a bit out of it today. The lessons had been quite content filled and he needs to review them again to understand everything, as he ruminated on one of these topics, about thermodynamics. He didn't notice her walking straight towards him. She had turned to the girls beside her, with a blush of her pale skin as she tried to deny something they were teasing her about. She didn't notice until last minute as they crashed right into each other and both let out a groan as they jumped back. He rubbed his chin and she, her forehead as they blinked at the suddenness. They looked at each other and both immediately bowed and apologized, and then moved on.

He heard her friends whispering as they glanced at his back and he sighed. He stepped on something though and looks down to see a notebook under his foot and immediately picks it up. He turns but its owner is already far too ahead for him to call her out. So he looks at it and reads his name,

'Yayorozu Momo, class 1-A' He heaves a heavy sigh.

He thinks it is just his luck that he bumped into someone from A class of all people. She will probably get embarrassed if he gave it to her in front of everyone so he turns to Hatsmue to ask her to deliver it but the girl has just been waiting for him to right himself again so they can go back to the topic. She ignores him as she starts rambling again and he lets out another sigh. He doesn't talk to anyone else in his class, and telling his teacher was far too embarrassing and knowing Power-sensei he will probably glare at him and ask him to do it himself. So he decides he will wait for her at the entrance since he knows A class finishes quite late and there will be only some people around that time.

He is hoping he can finish it quickly with least exposure as he sits down on one of the benches and pulls out his notebook and starts doing some of his homework. As time passes, the last bell rings loudly and he closes the book as he looks up and starts searching for the black-haired girl he bumped into. The girl is quite noticeable with her tall height and her signature ponytail tied so high. He makes way quickly, 'go in fast and get out fast' was his tactic. He appeared in front of her literally out of nowhere. She almost gasped as she stopped with another girl and they look at him strangely. He ignores it as he thrusts out her notebook and shows it to her. She takes it cautiously as she recognises her book and immediately realizes.

She looks up to him and smiles wide, her eyes softening considerably and it is such a friendly look that he feels safe with her,"Thank you so much for returning this."

He nods as turns away and quickly walks away, not waiting for them to say anything else or make any stupid assumptions. But it lingers in his head as he walks home, her smile and that soft eyes. They looked so friendly towards him, he has hardly seen those kinds of eyes towards him. It was kindness with no motive attach to it and it has stuck in his mind. She feels like a hero and he smiles slightly as he thinks,

'She will make a good hero.'

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 2198

today i spent being lazy and doing nothing but reading, really. i helped with the dishes and making cookies, but really i just spent the day by myself. it was really nice to not need to do anything or be anywhere or worry about assignments. the only thing (person, really) i wished i had was joel. i just really need joel hugs right now.

i'm not sure how to describe exactly how i feel. i know i need a really long hug. probably multiple really long hugs. it feels like something is disconnected inside my chest, just that there's a big empty spot and i don't know what goes there. i guess not being occupied with schoolwork has left my subconscious to stress over existential things instead of physics problems, and that stresses me out. from distancing myself from religion to being broke as fuck, my brain has plenty of things to run rampant about. who am i? what do i believe? what will i do with my life? what do i want to do right now? can i afford to do [x]? do i want to do [y]? what will happen when i die? is hell real? are all the things i was taught really true, or did i just convince myself because i wanted to belong? what do i really think about who i am as a person? what are my fundamental beliefs?

as you can see, my brain is not in a good spot. when left to my own devices, after about three or four days i get depressed. so far it's been two, so i expect the fall to come in the next day or two, and i'll want to sleep all day and never make any progress on anything ever again because i'll be depressed worse than i am now.

so i'm not exactly thrilled. i know i have my fic to work on, and a lego set to build if i get bored of that, and my ipad to look for new jobs and draw if i want to, and a whole host of information at my fingertips that i could learn if i wanted to. but the problem will be motivation.

i pulled a card set the other day for myself - i used my quantum tarot deck and did the relativity spread from the book it came with - how i am now, what will change soon, what i'm looking forward to, and how i can accept it. i pulled, in order, the king of pentacles (saturn in my deck), the three of cups, the four of cups, and the six of cups. current me was good with logical and world things, most notably finances and school. things would change by cooperation with others. i was looking forward to the ability to just stop and be lazy, which is exactly what has happened once the schoolwork was done. and the "how to accept it" was basically saying reconcile the past and look to the future. which, yknow, all makes sense in conjunction with each other, but it doesn't make it any easier to overcome that third part, because, as i mentioned, i get super depressed when left to my own devices for even a few days. but the three encouraged me to ask for help and spend time with others, which is definitely something that will keep me from falling into that depression so deeply, and honestly the key to my survival in general is the acceptance and reconciliation of my past with what i want for myself for the future. i'm glad that past me thought ahead and saved the extra money from unemployment, because i have four weeks of no work ahead of me due to the semester break. and at that point, i was plowing through my schoolwork efficiently, to the point where i was able to complete my assignments on time and do well in both of my classes. so saturn was accurate for that.

the hardest part - and part of my underlying existential crisis - is the fourth card, the reconciling and acceptance of my past. i don't know if i'm even ready for that. so i'll distract myself until school comes again, and i'll try to figure out how to pay for the semester somehow, and i'll get back into the swing of working and doing schoolwork with easier classes this semester. so i'm very stressed on every cognitive level that i have. even despite not working on and going through a chapter of physics every day for a week and a half. i miss that brain torture. it's far easier to deal with than this.

i just want joel.

[littlemulattokitten]

Dating App Conundrums

Alright so I’ve been planning to do this for a while, and may make a thing out of it just to chronicle the adventure from single to hopefully not, but who knows. 

Basically I decided to research a few dating apps and try them out, since I’m the type of person who’s content to stay home, but also only likes going out with a friend or small group (not alone) - therefore my chances of meeting people are probably in the negatives without dating services like the ones I’m currently on.

This post will probably end up being both a review of some of these apps as well as a master shitpost detailing the adventures of a straight female attempting to find a straight male to date online. And I know Tumblr well enough that at least half the people who read this will have yet another reason to be proud of their not straight orientation. Because good fucking lord the nonsense I’ve seen.

Storytime begins below the cut. This isn’t going to be short. That’s your warning. It will probably be funny at some points though. It’s funny to live it, at least. And I may break it into parts, Idk yet.

Let’s get a few things out of the way first.

Until this experiment, I’d never used dating apps ever. I knew of them. Hated them on principle (dislike them even more now, but we’ll get into that later) and wanted nothing to do with them. I knew a few people who were happily married to a Match.com or OKCupid match but aside from that – I’d never even downloaded Tinder like everyone else I knew in HS and college.

I haven’t actually dated anyone since my first semester of college. On purpose. I broke off my engagement to my elementary school sweetheart (thankfully we are still good friends and our friendship recovered from that near disaster) and I just wanted to focus on myself for a while.

The small handful of relationships I have had that lasted longer than 6 months taught me a lot about what I want in my ideal mate. The one or two less-than-6-months-barely-relationships I had in high school taught me A LOT about what I will never put up with from people.

My “type” isn’t reflective of my dating history. I’ve gotten to the point with these apps where I’m combining their shallow-indorsing metrics with my own personal preferences. Basically going through an aesthetic checklist then scanning through their profile to see if the actual person is equally pretty.

Spoiler, I have to swipe left A LOT.

I’m a very particular person. I’m very introverted and I hate when someone makes conversation harder than it has to be. I can hold a conversation. I just refuse to be the only one putting effort into it. (This makes more sense later)

I’m beyond fed up with dating app culture but my perfect or close enough to perfect guy has gotta exist so most of my accounts will remain I fucking guess.

I’m not necessarily looking for Mr. Forever. I’ll gladly keep him if I find him, but I’m also not looking for a relationship that I know will be temporary. I don’t do things by halves. I want something solid, whether it lasts forever or not depends on a lot of things.

I CAN’T EMOTIONALLY MULTITASK. I can really only give one person my full interest and attention at a time, which doesn’t bode well for these apps bc you gotta be able to bounce form one to the next no matter how excited you were about someone. These apps fucking suck.

Okay. Now let’s begin properly.

I started with Bumble. Yes. I know. Introverted female starting on a dating app that requires her to make the first move. That can’t go badly right.

I damn near have a panic attack every time I get a match I stg. Anyway.

I was skeptical at first. I’m not huge on people knowing a lot about me from the outset (or I wasn’t - i give so much less of a fuck now bc it makes almost no difference on these things) so my profile was pretty threadbare and cold. Now, a few weeks later, my profile is an efficient snapshot with a splash of Slytherin “Don’t fucking test me.”

Did I mention I’m an INTJ Scorpio? Yeah my entire approach is gonna scream that and my Hogwarts house, just you wait.

Round 1 ~ Bumble 🐝🍯

Okay so Bumble is interesting. For those who don’t know, it’s basically Beehive-Themed Tinder except for heterosexual couples, the lady has to initiate conversation. (Either party in a same sex match can message first) She has 24 hours from the point where her and a fella have “matched” to do so, then he has 24 hours to respond and seal the match – ending the time limits.

Bumble also gives you a rough estimate of how far away someone is sometimes. I’ve read articles about how bumble’s location estimate feature has ruined relationships forged through bumble and generally turned women into paranoid psychos over matches. Can. Fucking. Confirm. It’s the most annoying thing ever. Why?

Android vs Apple. That’s literally why.

The way Bumble’s location service is supposed to work is that everytime you open the app, it updates your location based on your phone or computer’s location. As far as I can tell, that’s exactly how it works on my android phone.

Apple users. Y’all are a problem. Not because I give a shit about your iPhone, I don’t give a shit do you ffs, but IOS location permissions can allow apps to update your location without the app being open.

Reread that for me.

Without. The app. Being. Open.

Which basically means if you match checks your profile, they can tell whether you’re where you were when they swiped right (say, 26 miles away) versus, oh idfk, a whole state or two away.

Real specific example I know. Why? Because I ended up unmatching a guy I REALLY wanted to get to know better because of it.

Though, to be fair, guys are really lax about how they behave on these apps in my opinion, which is a bigger problem than the stupid IOS setting.

Allow me to explain.

Dating App Etiquette 

It barely exists, but it should. Here’s the thing. On these apps, you basically swipe right on a pretty face and left on one you’re not interested in waking up to in the morning or sitting on. I’m only being half funny here. I’m convinced people use dating apps more for hookups than their intended purpose. Which, whatever, but for fuck’s sake make BumbleHookup. There’s BumbleDating, DumbleFriends, and BumbleNetwork or whatever. Just make BumbleDTF so we can filter these people out already.

BACK TO THE SINFULLY ATTRACTIVE AND INTERESTING DUDE I UNMATCHED

I’m still kinda peeved about this. In part at myself, but also just in general.

Most people seem to treat Bumble like Tinder. They don’t fill out their profile hardly at all. Have less than 3 pictures, have pictures that make it unclear who’s profile it is, or – my least favorite thing that is almost 100% regional – THEY REALLY FUCKING THINK A PICTURE OF THEM IN SUNGLASSES HOLDING A FUCKING FISH THEY JUST CAUGHT IS ATTRACTIVE. IT IS NOT. THAT’S NOT WHAT THE PICTURES ARE FOR. JUST SAY YOU LIKE TO FISH IN YOUR FUCKING PROFILE BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO LOOK AT ONE MORE MOTHER FUCKING FISH-

I’ve seen a lot of fish in the last few weeks. Like. So many that I’m basically auto swiping left if someone’s profile has less than 4 pictures and one or more contains a stupid fucking fish.

LOOK AT MY FUCKING USERNAME. LITTLEMULATTOKITTEN. IF A SELF-IDENTIFYING CAT TRAPPED IN A HUMANS BODY SAYS THERE’S TOO MANY FUCKING FISH – THERE ARE TOO MANY MOTHER FUCKING FISH.

I can guarantee this won’t be my last fish rant. You don’t understand how many fucking fish I’ve seen.

BUT THIS GUY DIDN’T HAVE ANY FISH IN HIS PROFILE.

So he already had my fucking attention. He was also startlingly handsome – not in a oh you exist off puss and nothing else there’s no other way someone as pretty as you with a penis could exist – but like “Oh. I’d…really like to look at that forever and sit on it if you’ll let me please.”

NOT ONLY DID I FIND HIM THAT ATTRACTIVE BUT HE SWIPED RIGHT ON ME TOO AND READ ENOUGH OF MY PROFILE TO ASK ME A QUESTION FROM THE LOWER HALF OF IT.

I was freaking the fuck out excited.

And frankly the odds of him seeing this are so fucking low that I’ll go ahead and tell you some specifics about the short convo we had, but nothing that could lead anyone back to him obviously.

He’d lived in my home state. First thing he asked was which city I was from. Then he guessed, claiming that guess was based off a beanie I was wearing in my second to last (I think) image available on my profile.

He’d lived in my home CITY. Which means he was familiar with the CULTURE. And would probably GET ME MORE THAN MOST GUYS IN MY AREA.

He worked in an industry/field I knew about and had almost gone into myself.

He was so fucking attractive. I have yet to come across someone who checked ever preliminary shallow box on my want list.

Biceps. Listen. We’re all a little shallow. Biceps do to me what ass and tiddy do to some guys. It’s one of the few really fucking strong visual things I have, followed by dark hair and blue eyes. But he was something of a gym rat, for sure, and I’d gladly torture myself at the gym if that man was going to be in my line of sight at all during the process.

Seriously. I’ve never seen someone who didn’t look like they had to be famous or an alien that made me go “He’s so pretty I want to cry.” EVER. I WANT TO CRY THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE’RE NOT MATCHED ANYMORE.

And last but not least – like almost every fucking match I’ve ever made, I could count his replies on one hand before he went radio silent.

So, how does this relate to that location issue, you may ask.

Because I didn’t fucking know that Bumble could update your location on some devices without you opening the app.

There’s no online/activity indicator for Bumble except their location updating. Which, when you’re really excited to get to know someone and they suddenly vanish, but they’re more likely than not still online, you might start to feel like you’ve been put on hold.

Life stuff, yes, makes sense, I get it. But these apps have push notifications (which can be buggy) and if you’ve matched with someone, odds are you’re interested enough to check back on occasion (unless you aren’t). So it quickly became a worry game.

Because, like I said, I can’t just say “I’m excited about you, but I’ll keep browsing”. I don’t work that way. Unless I’m not excited about someone, then yeah I’ll keep scatter-shotting. But if I’m not excited to get to know someone why the fuck would I swipe right.

Anyway. After a few days of silence, I was disappointed and getting bitter and the few proverbial bones I’d thrown him had gone unanswered. I knew I was overthinking it and letting my own insecurities get to me a bit, but at the end of the day, there’s a few general courtesies that should exist in online dating culture that don’t.

Why people are afraid or hesitant to say they’re too busy to respond much in their profiles is beyond me. Some guys have the right idea announcing that they’re bad at checking the app and offering their snapchat or telling matches to ask for it.

But even if you’re testing the waters with another match, we’re all on this app for the same fucking reason. Say so. I’m not the kind of person who will need to, because I don’t operate that way on these apps, but I would. Because if that person is really bothered by you finding out if you’re more compatible with someone you matched with prior to them, that tells you something about them.

Would I have been disappointed if that had been the case with this guy? Yeah, kinda. I probably would have felt like his second choice at best, even if he’d come back to chatting with me. But that’s how these fucking apps are designed. Buckle up or unmatch. Fuck your emotions and self-esteem.

I unmatched for my sanity, because that happened a few days into this whole experiment and I wasn’t on any other sites yet. I wasn’t really prepared to deal with this whole thing yet and I didn’t know what to expect. I felt like shit and decided that if he showed up in my feed again, maybe I’d super swipe him (paid extra special right swipe that tells them you REALLY like their face and whatever) but I still don’t know what I’ll do if he does. 

Lowkey hoping it was all a misunderstanding and whatever but like, not at all holding out for that because what are the fucking odds.

And again, my disappointment stems mostly from the fact that I was really excited to get to know him. The idea of finding someone on this stupid app in less than a week who wasn’t forcing his fish pictures in my face, would absolutely be the type of person to encourage my own wellness goals, and who was obviously smart because of his career path, was such an exciting thought. If we’d hit it off and gotten along really well, I’d have been so many levels of shocked and overwhelmingly happy that I just don’t know what I’d do.

When someone who looks like they’re 100% your type actually reads your profile and swipes right – you get excited. I was really excited. I’m still a little sad/disappointed, but I’m basically over it.

Other Misc. Things I’ve Learned On Bumble and other Dating Apps As a Relationship Seeking User

Take every profile with a grain of salt unless it’s so blatantly straightforward. And then still toss a pinch in.

The pretty pretty pretty buff boys who look like their players but their profiles claim they want a relationship? Odds are still players. They will try to convince you there’s 10 inches in their pants. They clearly aren’t smart enough to know that’s biologically uncomfortable for females and the best way to end up in the emergency room with a ruined cervix so don’t even swipe right. They’ll just ask for nudes.

People who use dating sites have some odd, hive mind fixation with The Office.

“Jim looking for his Pam” is in most profiles. I’m not sure why. References to The Office or mentions of The Office are about as common as all the stupid fucking fish.

I live in the wrong part of the country to find guys I’m actually going to share interests with. Just wait until I tell you about my experience so far on OK Cupid. I literally won’t find anyone where I live unless they’re from somewhere culturally similar to where I was born and are willing to move back with me. Because I am not fucking staying in the land of the god damn fish forever.

Most people don’t look at religion and politics like I do. Which is “You do you, I’ll do me, we won’t talk about it and we can peacefully do each other.” I don’t fucking care if your politics contradict mine if that’s the only thing we have not in common. Just make it a blacklisted subject and don’t let one frankly insignificant difference of opinion ruin an entire relationship or potential relationship. And same with religion. I’m not even a little religious. I don’t care if my future husband is unless it’s in my face constantly, he tries to “convert me”, get me to go to church with him, or some other blatant disrespect of my own religious standing. You worship whatever you want. I’ll right fanfiction about magic demon princes fucking their human-born demon queen every which way to Sunday. If religion is that big of a fucking deal for you, be upfront about it. Most people are in their bios. Either way, I’m really fucking sick of people who put too much weight into these two things like they actually decide how compatible you are with someone unless you let them.

I fucking hate fish.

Dating apps need more filters and ways to narrow down searches. 90% of the filters already present are shallow as all hell. What’s a few more.

Primarily let me filter out a few NAMES. This sounds super picky, but I have a really big family. 7 uncles. Over 20 cousins including the few cousins of mine who have kids. There’s a few names that would just be weird and awkward for me to associate with a significant other. If I could filter out my stepdad’s first name (which is disgustingly common but still), my biological father’s name, and a few of my uncle’s names, that’d be fucking swell. You already let me filter by religion and race. Let me filter out some fucking names damnit.

And there have to be people who have traumatic associations with names too like?????

The Office is a funny, good show and all but WHY IS EVERYONE ON THESE APPS FUCKING OBSESSED WITH IT THE WAY I’M OBSESSED WITH HARRY POTTER. I’VE SEEN IT. IT’S NOT **THAT** FUCKING FUNNY. SOMEONE EXPLAIN.

YOU HOLDING A DEAD FISH ISN’T FUCKING ATTRACTIVE SIR. THIS ISN’T THE SHAPE OF WATER. SHOW ME YOUR FACE NOT YOUR FISH.

The dating apps that are probably actually worth using all require a paid subscription.

There’s no real way to advertise that you find sex and physical intimacy very important in a relationship without making yourself sound like a cock-thirsty whore. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, you do you, but I’m looking for someone to be a slut FOR, I’m not one already and I dislike not being able to be upfront about that without being profiled or attracting fuckboys.

WHY CAN I NOT FILTER OUT PROFILES THAT CONTAIN IMAGES OF FISH

STOP WITH THE FUCKING FISH COUNTRY BOYS. ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GIRLFRIEND OR SOMEONE TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR TACKLEBOX? AND DON’T TELL ME THAT’S THE SAME THING, MY FAMILY IS COUNTRY. IT AIN’T THE SAME FUCKING THING. ALL THAT FISH TELLS ME IS THAT YOU’RE PROBABLY COMPENSATING FOR SOMETHING.

Judging by the few fish-fucks with their profiles filled out at all – they’re compensating for personality.

With how shallow the filters on these sites are, just go ahead and fucking add eye color, hair, etc. Seriously. If you’re gonna let me be shallow enough to only pick men of a certain ethnicity, and religion, you may as fucking well let me see if I can find a guy with blue eyes, biceps, dark hair, non religious, who doesn’t want kids without reading every fucking profile I come across.

There are way more guys on these sites who want or think they want children some day. This baffles me. But then again my primary reason for not wanting children is pregnancy and giving birth which wouldn’t be their problem so of course they want them.

I just need to auto left-swipe if I see a fish. These apps are shallow anyway. Do not make a fucking fishing joke just because I said shallow.

OK Cupid has a better matching system than Bumble and such, but it’s still irritating as all hell. You can’t choose question categories that are more important. So if I see a 91% match, but he has no sex questions filled out or our sexual compatibility is like…50%...that’s not REALLY a 91% match for me. Let me mark 2 or 3 question categories as priority for fucks sake.

The bulk of guys on these apps fall into 2 categories (for me anyway) – Not enough giveadamn to explain their presence on the site & thank u, next.

Online dating is disappointing as fuck.

I’m seriously going to lose my mind if I can’t get away from the fucking fish pictures. ENOUGH. I GET IT. I NEED TO MOVE.

Seriously – I. Need. To. Move. Back. Home. I am not meant for this part of the country. These good ole boys are meant for someone but it ain’t me and my family is fucking country. I’ve been fishing, ridden 4-wheelers, made shit out of wood for shits and giggles, helped my grandparents in the garden, eaten deer my grandfather or uncles hunted and prepared, helped chop wood, ridden in the bed of a truck, etc etc etc. But ya bitch has lifestyle goals that only include mud at scheduled times. We can go camping, but we should also go out to dinner sometimes and go clubbing or dancing other times.

I was not born with this ass to settle for a man who looks like an angel and acts like one too. Why is no one non-ironically blunt about their sexual preferences?  You cannot convince me that the majority of men lack strong opinions on this subject. SERIOUSLY. IT IS 2019 NOT 1619. God DAMNIT. You’re on a DATING SITE. THAT’S AN ASPECT OF RELATIONSHIPS THAT CAN MAKE OR BREAK THEM. BE STRAIGHTFORWARD.

It’s not even actually about sharing every interest. I don’t give a shit if he doesn’t like Harry Potter much. If he’s annoyed by the level I like it, yeah that’s an issue. Otherwise, be supportive and kind about that kinda shit. That’s all I’m asking for. That’s how I am in return.

I make shit with yarn, write off the wall fanfiction, have a lot of sexual interests I don’t usually broadcast, and don’t understand how dating sites are still this ineffective in 2019.

This is super long already so I’m gonna save the other apps for a separate installment if this one is enjoyed or whatever. Jesus. These apps, guys.

Apps I still need to talk about that probably won’t require this many words each – Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid (OkC might need a few thousand words).

I’ll probably look into some other niche dating sites too because at this point, what the fuck ever - I just wanna meet someone back home or willing to move back home with me who fits some reasonable criteria parameters. And I’m not even as picky as half the profiles I’ve seen, lemme tell ya. I’m just fucking opinionated. And beyond sick of this experiment already.

Sigh.

If I ever see a fish again it’ll be too soon. Bet the first profile picture on my bumble dash later will be another fucking fish though.

Those who expressed interest: @accio-echo  |  @infallibleangel  | @aconitumluparia  and those who liked are my followers so you’ll see it. This post is so long my browser is bugging out with tags or I’d tag you all too.

[imagine-loki]

The Sound of Silence

TITLE: The Sound of Silence CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 2/? AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine you are mute, and Loki comes to Avengers tower for the first time. Loki asks you a question and you answer through sign language. Loki looks at you crazy and thinks your making fun of him, he starts yelling saying that you should respect him since he’s a god and prince.  RATING: T+ NOTES/WARNINGS: Also on AO3 Click here

    You made sure to take your laptop, a pad of paper, and a pen with you when you left your room the next morning. You were intending on typing your ‘sad tale’ for Loki. You typed faster and more legibly than you hand wrote answers, and he couldn’t have learned how to sign over the last 8ish hours. The paper and pen would be useful for shorter answers.

    He wasn’t in the living room when you made it to that floor of the tower. You left your laptop on one of the couches and continued on to the kitchen to see what you could do about breakfast. You hesitated for a moment when you saw Loki in the kitchen, especially when he was cursing, creatively, and not in English at the pan on the stove in front of him. You took a couple of hesitant steps into the room to see what the problem was. The pan on the stove in front of him was on fire. He was staring at it dumbly, obviously unsure how to rectify the situation.

    You rushed over to him, pushed him aside gently, grabbed the pan using your hoodie sleeve as a pot holder, and dumped the whole mess in the sink. You started the water to extinguish the flames. You looked over at the fascinatedly startled Loki and raised your eyebrow, questioning what had happened. He was clearly impressed with your efficient dealing with the problem of the flaming pan. “Apparently eggs are flammable,” he commented dryly. You snorted in amusement, not brave enough to risk an actual laugh. He gave you a smile in return.

    You rummaged through the cabinets to find new pans and started making a new breakfast. Loki watched in fascination. You slowly demonstrated how to properly crack an egg, which interested him so much you were worried how much egg shell had been in the original egg pan. You split the eggs and sausages between two plates and handed one to him when they were done. “Thank you,” he said softly.

    You nodded and thought he deserved a little teasing. Something about him said that it would be safe and he might even appreciate it, despite his outburst last night. So you wrote clearly on the pad of paper You have to do the dishes. You stuck your tongue out at him as he read the note. He started to protest. You jabbed your finger at the words on the page.

    “Fine,” he huffed, rolling his eyes. “You know, you’re awfully bossy for someone who cannot speak,” he grumbled as you two walked to the dining room. His tone was joking, but his words still caused you to unconsciously stiffen. “Gods, love, I’m teasing,” you waved at him with a smile, trying to reassure him you were ok. “I never thought I would ever come across someone whose soul is more bruised than mine,” he commented so softly that you could pretend you hadn’t heard him.

    You picked out a chair at the dining room table and set your plate down in front of it. You went to move the chair back from the table so you could sit in it, but Loki was already there, pulling the chair out. You looked away from him and went to move your plate to another place at the table, assuming he wanted to sit there. He rolled his eyes and gave you an overly-patient smile. He was obviously amused. “No, love, I pull out the chair, you sit in it, I push it in again. It is called ‘courtesy’,” he teased with a grin. You blushed when you finally understood what he had been doing, and his expression became more amused when he saw how red you’d turned. He pulled the chair out and gestured toward it. You obediently, though timidly, sat in the chair.

    After enjoying the meal in companionable silence, besides his compliment on your cooking, you sat on the counter next to where Loki was washing the dishes, swinging your legs adorably with you laptop open on your lap. “Aren’t you hot wearing long sleeves? It is nearly summer,” he asked. You shrugged. It was warm, but you were going to stubbornly avoid baring your arms for as long as possible. He gave you a look that he didn’t quite accept your shrug as an answer, but didn’t press for a better one.

    “Y/N, is Reindeer Games bothering you?” Tony asked as he came in to grab some coffee. He glared at Loki, but Loki was up to his elbows in dishwater, scrubbing the pan he’d set on fire.

    [Reindeer?] you signed, confused.

    Tony rolled his eyes and gestured to Loki “Him,”

    You shook your head [I’m bothering him]. You signed quickly.

    Tony didn’t look convinced, but let you be since neither of you were hurting anything. “Push the damn button if he does anything stupid again,” Tony grumbled as he left the room with his coffee. You rolled your eyes. You weren’t going to push the damn button regardless of what he did. Besides, you didn’t know what the button did. You were the last person to use an unknown torture device on someone.

    “Stark thinks it is amusing to make fun of my ceremonial helmet,” Loki explained sourly when Tony was gone. He was scrubbing hard at the burnt egg on the pan and you couldn’t quite tell if his glare was about Tony or the pan.

    You tapped Loki’s shoulder and showed him your laptop screen which now read What helmet?

    His expression softened when he looked at you and gave you a small smile. “This one,” he replied, his smile changing to a smirk. With a shimmer of green light, a golden horned helmet appeared on his head. You grinned in delight at seeing magic up close and personal. You reached out a hand in awe to touch the helmet, but hesitated. He laughed and tilted his head so you could more easily reach. “Curious little kitten,” he commented, amused, not malicious or annoyed. You touched the helmet, more impressed that it was real and not an illusion. “Yes, it’s real,” he laughed, seeming happy with your joy.

    Sorry, I’ve never seen magic before you typed quickly and showed him the screen. You assumed you were annoying him.

    “No reason to be sorry. I don’t mind demonstrating,” he replied. The helmet disappeared from his head and he went back to his task. You went back to typing up your life story for him. You were being careful to selectively edit what you shared.

    You looked up when Thor came in to the room. “Y/N?” he asked. You gave him a smile and waved in greeting. He just stared at Loki doing dishes. “How did you get my brother to do chores?”

    You smirked [I made breakfast] you signed to Thor, slowly since he said that he was just learning how to sign. [So he had to do the dishes]

    “It was only fair,” Loki replied after Thor had translated your words.

    “He is behaving himself, then?” Thor asked you, concerned after Loki’s actions last night.

    [Yes. He came and apologized last night. He’s been good company this morning]

    Thor didn’t bother translating that, just nodded. “I have work to do downstairs with Stark. Be nice to your new friend, brother. She is mean if you get her angry.” Thor was teasing, but the threat to his brother was real. He’d be upset if Loki was mean to you. You didn’t think Loki would be mean again. He seemed too fascinated by you and he’d felt really bad about last night. He seemed to be walking on eggshells to make sure he didn’t startle you again.

    “I will keep that under advisement,” Loki grumbled. Thor left, and Loki finally gave up and used magic on the stubborn pan.

    You snorted in amusement again and typed out a single word: Cheater. He laughed in reply.

    “Maybe so, but I have better things to do with my day than scrub a dish,” he replied. You raised an eyebrow in reply. “You owe me a tale,” he reminded you. He used magic to put all of the dishes away and you watched in amazement as they all vanished.

    Once they were away, you nodded and hopped down from the counter to walk with him to the living room. You curled up on one end of the comfiest looking couch. He settled himself on the other end of the couch. You gestured for him to go first. He’d promised you his story too. He hesitated, you could see the curiosity eating him alive, but he finally nodded and began telling you his story, living in Thor’s shadow, finding out he was a frost giant, falling into the abyss off of the Bifrost, torture at the hands of someone named Thanos, the attack on New York under the mind control of the same Thanos, and his punishment on Earth helping the Avengers.

    When he was done speaking, you looked over the word document you’d been working on, then set your laptop on the couch between you and hit play on a nifty little program that had been installed on the laptop. It would read whatever was given to it aloud. You signed along to the words the laptop spoke. Loki watched your hands, fascinated by the sign language.

    [My powers manifested when I was 10. That’s when I lost my ability to speak] You didn’t specify what your powers were; that wasn’t part of this conversation. [Besides not having a voice, I was a fairly normal high school student until about a year ago. A government agency decided they were going to round up all of the Enhanced, those with powers, and lock us in prison. I don’t know how they found out about me. I never used my powers after they first manifested, but they did. I was ripped from my bed in the middle of the night and taken to an underwater prison in the middle of the sea. I was held there for a year. I think. Time was so hard to keep track of. They tortured us. Those of us with powers wore shock collars constantly and they would zap us for the smallest offense.] You couldn’t help shuddering, remembering the horror and terror of those damn collars, of the fear of the days when moving would get you shocked and if you dared open your mouth the shocks wouldn’t stop for what felt like hours. [SHIELD, the Avengers and some school for Enchanted kids found out about the imprisonment and came to put a stop to it. A professor who deals with Enhanced kids came to the prison and took all of the kids, except me. I got sent here instead. I was in chains in the SUV because I’m too dangerous, my powers uncontrollable. They didn’t want to let me out of the prison at all, even with SHIELD, the Avengers, the Professor, and others fighting to free all of us who had been imprisoned unjustly]

    He stopped watching your hands in fascination and instead just looked shocked and horrified by your story. “They used shock collars on you?” he finally asked, finding some words through the horror. You nodded and pulled down the collar of your hoodie, holding your hair aside so he could see the burns that were still there and fresh. You quickly let your hair fall back into place. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea humans were so cruel,” he added softly, angrily. You touched his arm softly. It wouldn’t do any good for him to get angry.

    He opened his arms, silently offering you a hug. You hesitated a moment, but his soul was bruised too, you could recognize him as a kindred spirit. He was offering comfort in the only way he could. So you moved hesitantly across the couch and curled into his arms, accepting the comfort from someone who knew what you’d been through.