#it's some left over from... Thursday so i hope it's still safe to eat lol

[darkdragon768]

It's website time.

[rayofsunas]

pretending you’re not his s/o. [1]

A/n: happy Thursday!! whew, the week is almost over thank goodness. I hope you’re all doing well and thank you for being patient while I knock out these requests <333 Scaramouche’s is long for obvious reasons (I simp) ALSO thank you for 800 followers, I hit that milestone yesterday ahagdwcsh omg I’m growing so much wtf. thank you all :) <33 

Summary: the boys having to pretend their s/o is their secretary, maid, friend, etc. (someone other than their s/o)

Parings: Childe/Reader, Venti/Reader, Kaeya/Reader, Diluc/Reader, Albedo/Reader, Aether/Reader, Xiao/Reader, Chongyun/Reader, Xingqiu/Reader, Scaramouche/Reader, Razor/Reader, Bennett/Reader, Zhongli (fem and gn mixed)

Warnings: violence tbh (in Scara’s especially chile), swearing, crack, angst?, fluff

Word count: 1.7k

Requested by bestie @mintydump​ 

Refuses (tells people you’re his s/o and compromises the mission)

Childe: for some odd reason, he was sent out by the Tsaritsa to retrieve a man who was impersonating one of the eleven harbingers and you were to go along. she said men were much more willing to follow along, if there was a beautiful woman promising affection, etc. the only problem was, to win over the impersonator, you had to pretend to be Childe’s co-worker. he hated this idea, and the minute he left, he reassured you he would not call you his partner unless it was romantically. so hell yeah, he’ll compromise the mission and will return without the impersonator. he does not care, you’re not his co-worker. he’ll just be like, “sorry, next time send me alone.”

Venti: jean why... ofc you'd be great company duh, but why did you need to be his babysitter on this expedition?!? sure, Venti may look like a child, but this was stupid! he’s loose-lipped anyways, so he’ll accidentally let it slip to whoever that you’re not his babysitter and that you’re his s/o. he’ll be like, “oops.” with the biggest shit-eating grin. he doesn’t care though, you’re not his babysitter grrr. 

Razor: he also accidentally lets it slip you’re his s/o. hunters were after him and his friends, you included (you’re human, he considers you family though, therefore wolf) and he just yells, “don’t touch my mate, GRRR” before ya know, ending them lmao. it never crossed his mind that maybe it wasn’t in his/your best interest to say what you were to him. other hunters could be nearby listening and then target you at a later date. but, tbh he will worry about that another day. as long as you’re safe now, he’ll always be there to protect you. 

Refuses (he doesn’t refuse the mission, but he refuses calling you someone other than his s/o/he won’t say if you’re his s/o or not.) 

Kaeya: he definitely won’t be calling you anything other than his s/o but he also won’t offer this mission to anyone else. he’s more than capable and he can do this without you having to be in danger too. if someone asks who you are, he’ll just cooly respond with, “none of your business.” and move on. he’ll use that whenever someone asks who you are. even if someone gets a little pushy, he won’t use anything to clue them of your relationship.

Xingqiu: he was supposed to borrow steal a book from someone. he needed it for personal purposes lol; it would be great for his collection. and from his understanding, the person who has it wasn’t using it. though you were confused on why he needed to break into somewhere to retrieve it. you just happened to be with him when he broke in, he says it was an accident that you were there, but tbh it’s all part of the thrill and his mischievousness. despite Chongyun warning him that he shouldn’t have brought you, he still did. and when the person who owns the book whips out a sword and then asks why you were brought along if you seemed timid and unreluctant to steal, Xingqiu’s response is, “well she’s my girlfriend! duh.” cue deadpan. legit no hesitation.

Scaramouche: this mission is happening no matter what. the Tsaritsa’s life is on the line; highly trained assassins from all over Teyvat were sent into Snezhnayan territory to kill her. she could protect herself, but Scaramouche was feeling feverish for battle; he was one of the more unhinged and dangerous harbingers, she entrusted this task upon him. he never turned down a mission. plus, it’s your fault you’re even here. why are you here again!? he left you home in Inazuma days ago. also... who the hell was looking after your daughter if not you...?? when you caught up with him once he was well away from Liyue Harbor’s docks (so he couldn’t force you to get back onto the ship, smart) you told him you weren’t some housewife and you missed the thrill of adventure, so you snuck on the ship too. he wasn’t sure how you got on in the first place without alerting The Kanjobugyo (you’ve snuck out before, so he’s told them not to let you leave, though he assumed you used your former title of a Fatui to gain clearance) let’s just say he’s not happy you’re here, but he’s not turning back now, he’s determined to end this. in the end, he kills all the assassins (ofc). on your way back to Liyue Harbor, arguing about why you’re here (you’re losing), another assassin comes out of the shadows; intent on killing the both of you. he’d managed to grab the end of your hair in his fist and was going to slit your throat. Scaramouche will say, “don’t touch my wife, you insolent scum.” he doesn’t have a problem telling those who have a death wish of your intimate relationship, because they’ll die in the end anyway; therefore to him, it’d be like they never knew. 

Zhongli: not many people know you’re his s/o anyways, so if he has something to do, especially dangerous you’re not coming along. he’ll make sure of that. on missions or something, he refuses to call you anything other than his s/o, but if he can’t/wants to keep it private he’ll call you by your name. if you’re facing off against someone, he’ll be like, “y/n, please watch out, I’ll handle this.” he never wants to put you in danger, and tbh even someone threatening who knows your name is a risk, but if they ever found out that you were not only his s/o but the s/o of an Archon? yeah, you’d be on a hit list just like him. 

Accepts (he will do this and won’t ask any questions)

Diluc: sorry y’all, but once this is discussed in full and you agree, he’s going to accept it. this mission is important. it’s not often people travel into Inazuma, so he was very lucky his wine is sold there and that he has a popular, well-known name. shipments of his wine weren’t making it into the borders and he was to find the culprit behind it; someone was stealing obviously. you were to go along with a few other soldiers and when jean told him it would be safer to call you his maid and not his fiancé, he agreed. you wouldn’t be a target that way. if anyone wonders why he took his maid, he’ll just say, “she’s to travel everywhere with me.” don’t worry, after the missions over he’ll reassure you he doesn’t think of you as his maid, definitely not. he’ll apologize profusely. “please don’t think of yourself that way, you’re not my maid, I adore you very much, sweetheart.”

Xiao: he already doesn’t go around calling you his wife or telling just anyone, only the Archons know and the fallen Yaksha once knew (you’re one of the female Yaksha) so being talked into this wasn’t a big deal at all. before, he didn’t run around Liyue telling people about your relationship because you both enjoyed the privacy. but now, having to call you his fellow Yaksha who’s been working alongside him for centuries, kinda feels like he’s ignoring or not acknowledging you. sure, you do hold the same titles (Yaksha) and yes you’ve known eachother for centuries, but really, you’ve been together for centuries. if you’re not bothered, then he doesn’t mind. but if you are? he’s very apologetic and will repay you in some way. “you’re not a weakling, you have no reason to worry.” he needs to do this task, he’ll never turn away from the people and if you have to be known as your Yaksha title to him and others, so be it. 

Chongyun: it’s not that he doesn’t want to call you his s/o. it’s just he’s a quiet guy and never has told anyone about your relationship; only Xingqiu knows. so he has no problem introducing you as his friend to absolute strangers, especially if you’re okay with it. if you’re not and tell him, he’ll be sure to never call you a friend again. he’s really looking out for your safety, people can be two-faced as he’s learned from Xingqiu’s fantasy books. he wants to protect and keep you safe, and if you need to be addressed as his friends a few times then that’s how it’s going to go. 

Accepts (he’ll accept but he has so many questions on why and hates it)

Albedo: he will accept if there’s a logical reason. for example, if you absolutely need to come because you’re his assistant or something and can offer your expertise, he will accept. but if you have no need? you’re not coming, please stay home. the whole time, he hates this. yes, you’re his assistant irl, but you’re his s/o, not just an assistant. it makes him sick that he has to call you that tbh, even if it’s your occupation. but it’s necessary for a lot of reasons you two have already discussed. after the mission is complete, he’s never going to stop apologizing. “love, please do not take what I said to heart, you’re not just an assistant.”

Aether: he has to be talked into this a lot. once kaeya and jean tell him the seriousness and importance of seeing his sister again, especially after all they’ve discovered about her, he’ll agree. no matter how much he hates calling you his travel partner, he has to. his sister has turned to the dark side for whatever reason and this meeting already is risky enough. if she finds out you’re his girlfriend, who knows how she’ll react; she’s very unpredictable now, a little unhinged even. but it does hurt to have to call you that, let’s be real. he never wants to say or hear that ever again.

Bennett: he knows he’s quite unfortunate, so you going with him on expeditions is just stupid and you could face something awful due to his bad luck. you go either way though, what a good s/o :) he almost slips a few times, especially facing off against a few lowlife Fatui. but then you remind him of the dangers of doing that and you’re immediately just a friend/member of Benny's Adventure Team. pls, he hates this so much, like why can’t he call you what you are?!? he’s constantly like, “well why can’t I just say you’re my s/o already? they won’t harm you as long as I’m here!” ?!?!?!? HE JUST DID?!?!?!?!

2.25.21, rayofsunas 

[whumpinggrounds]

Jamie Comes to Stay

isabella makes a new friend! who is actually an old friend! not that isabella remembers that...

tagging @shapeshiftersandfire and @killtheprotagonist ! let me know if you want to be added or removed i will not be offended i promise i know this is sort of a Lot of content lol

CW: lady whump, pet whump, aftermath of conditioning, blink and you’ll miss it mention of noncon, awkward caretaker

It’s dark outside, and Isabella is in Position Two, a few steps away from the door. She’s been waiting there for what feels like a long time, and her legs are starting to ache, but moving would be too risky. She wouldn’t want Jamie to come in the door while she’s shifting and think she’s disobedient. Isabella needs Jamie to stay. She needs Jamie to want to stay. No one else does, after all. Mara’s friends are what Mara calls lib workers, and what that means, as far as Isabella can tell, is that they don’t like pets. For the past three days, Mara has tried to convince different ones to pet-sit for her – mostly one girl, Violet.

From what Isabella can tell, Violet is less of a friend and more of a girlfriend. Mara mutters, tight-faced, that if Violet does come to stay, Isabella can’t mention the nights that Isabella sleeps in Mara’s bed. It doesn’t seem like that will be a problem, though, because Violet seemed to have held firm, despite the way Isabella’s owner’s voice went wheedling, the number of times Mara said please. On the last conversation with Violet, Mara had heaved a huge sigh, said fine before she hung up, and then, with thunder in her face, Mara had dialed a different number. That time the conversation took less than five minutes, but that didn’t make Mara any happier.

“Jamie’s going to stay with you,” Mara had explained, rolling her eyes as she gets off the phone. When Isabella looked at her uncertainly, Mara’s lips thinned into an irritated line. “You met her that one time, remember? You’ll be fine.” An uncertain nod from Isabella and Mara forged on. “I’m going to be gone a few days. Like, Tuesday morning to like, Thursday afternoon. Director Hammond wants me at some meetings with the higher-ups. At headquarters.” There was a faint glow of pride when Mara said the words, but as she glanced down at her phone again, she sank back into irritation. “Jamie’s…whatever. My only option, I guess.”

Isabella had nodded, because Mara is her owner, and Isabella is a good pet, and it wasn’t like Mara was asking for permission. She doesn’t need Isabella’s permission to give her to Jamie for a few days. She doesn’t need to explain herself to a pet. It’s Isabella’s job to figure these things out, to be pleasant and pleasing and figure out what it is that will make Jamie happy. Of course, the fact that Mara’s been in a bad mood for about two days straight doesn’t bode well for Isabella’s chances.

Maybe Jamie’s mean. Maybe she’s quick to anger. Maybe she…maybe she’s going to do something to Isabella that Mara won’t like, and that’s why Mara’s unhappy. Isabella can’t control that but, but she can be good. She can be so, so good, and then maybe Jamie won’t want to punish her. She’ll sit and wait and just be as perfect as she can be and then if Jamie still wants to hurt her…then Isabella will be good for her then, too.

So. Isabella cleans the apartment, like every other day, and then around the time that Mara usually arrives home, she prepares for Jamie. Position Two is a safe bet. Handlers like Position Two, because it puts pets on the ground where they belong. That’s the most Isabella can offer her pet-sitter before she knows what her Jamie wants. Feverishly, in her head, Isabella goes over the little rituals she’s performed, obedience to try to keep herself safe. She hasn’t eaten all day because Mara’s never said she can eat on her own. She won’t sleep until Jamie says she can. She won’t move from Position Two, and she won’t ask for anything, and if that’s not enough…if that’s not enough, then it’s Jamie’s right to punish her.

Lip trembling under her curtain of hair, Isabella practices her breathing, tries to smooth out her face. Mara doesn’t hurt her, but who knows what Jamie is really like, when Mara isn’t right there? Isabella has only met her once, and now, now she’s going to spend three days and two nights in her care. Jamie could do anything to her in that time, anything. Mara’s always been kind, and Mara’s always been so easy, and Isabella knows it could be worse, knows it could be so much worse. She’s so afraid that Jamie will be worse.

But Isabella has to stop thinking about that because it scares her too much. No one likes a sniveling pet. Instead, she practices her smile at the floor, murmuring canned perfect responses under her breath. She’ll be good. She’ll be good. She’ll be good.

By the time Jamie stumbles in the door, Isabella is ready – calm, self-contained, on her knees. She keeps her eyes on the ground respectfully, watches Jamie’s ratty tennis shoes stutter to a stop in front of her. “Oh, oh, um…”

Waiting for Jamie to speak to her, Isabella is caught off guard when suddenly, instead of staring at Jamie’s ratty shoes, she’s staring at the worn-out knees of Jamie’s jeans. The other woman is sitting on the floor with her. “Hey.”

“Hello, Miss Jamie.” For hours, Isabella had agonized over what to call her, not wanting to give her respect that would put her above Mara. Miss had been the only safe honorific, in the end. Respectful to her sitter without being disrespectful to her owner – or so Isabella hoped. A few feet away, she hears Jamie – Miss Jamie – inhale.

“Hey, Isabella. I, um. I guess I already said that.” Isabella nods, eyes still on the ground. “Look, um, I don’t know how you’re used to doing things, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. But I, um. I don’t know. You can just call me Jamie if that’s okay?”

Lips parting, Isabella considers the statement, confused. She can call her sitter Jamie…if that’s okay? Is…is Miss Jamie asking for Isabella’s permission?

Pushing aside her confusion, Isabella considers the question for what it is. “Thank you…Jamie.” She keeps her voice smooth, though it isn’t easy. Calling a person by their name still feels presumptuous, but it’s respectful to Mara not to honor this woman above her owner. Jamie is the right choice. Isabella’s almost sure.

When Jamie speaks again, Isabella can tell from her voice that she’s smiling. “A’course, Isabella. Um, next thing…you can look at me, if you want. And stand up. All that. I, um, I’m not going to punish you. If it’s easier to, um, to not look at me, that’s okay too! But you definitely don’t have to do this whole, uh, kneeling thing. You can get up whenever you want.”

Slowly, Isabella brings her eyes up. There on the floor in front of her is Jamie, her owner’s redhead friend from that one night after dinner. Then, she’d hardly spoken. She’d cried a little and apologized for crying. Tonight, she seems happier, although not much more relaxed. There’s a faint red blush in her cheeks, and a not faint at all red in her hair, and bright ice blue in her eyes. She’s biting her lip as she smiles at Isabella. She looks happy. She looks eager. She looks a little bit bashful.

What she does not look is angry, or vicious, or scary in the least. Looks can be deceiving, and Isabella certainly isn’t going to dismiss this girl entirely, but as she looks at Jamie’s face there’s something…something in her head. A headache pulsing behind her left eye, just like when she sees Mara, but another thing, too. A softness she doesn’t know how to place.

As Isabella watches, Jamie puts a hand down on the entryway floor and pushes herself to her feet. Then she reaches out for Isabella. “Need a hand?”

Looking up into that face, that nervously hopeful face, Isabella bites her lip and makes a snap decision. Hardly believing her own bravery, she reaches up and takes Jamie’s offered hand.

[purplesurveys]

1275

When you were younger, did your mother or father ever let you open a few presents before Christmas or your birthday even arrived?  We open all our presents the night of Christmas Eve to begin with; but no, they don’t tease by letting us open a few of them before our usual schedule.

If you could receive a 100 dollar gift card for either blouses, pants, dresses, shoes or purses, which would you chose?  If I could change blouses to shirts, then I would go with that because I’ve recently gotten into t-shirts and sweatshirts and no longer the trendy and preppy tops I used to like haha. But if not, I would go for shoes.

What is your favorite thing to do after crying? Ex: Sleep, listen to music, have some alone time, talk to someone, etc?  It varies as it depends on how much I cried. The harder I cried the more I’d want to sleep it off, because it can actually get pretty exhausting. Sometimes I’ll reach out, sometimes I write. It’s really different every time, but at the end I’m just glad I can no longer even remember the last time I cried out of sadness.

Do you think Trump will be assassinated, or will he survive his term?  Well we know the answer to this. It’s satisfying to notice him disappear off the face of the Earth immediately after his term, though. I don’t have a clue what he’s up to now.

Last time you felt suicidal?  For some reason I felt down last Thursday and I felt the slightest, slightest tinge of suicidal thoughts. No idea where it came from.

Last time you had butterflies?  Ugh idk but it was probably BTS-related hahahahahahah

Biggest asshole you know?  Certain politicians.

Did you ever leave someone because you know you’d hurt them?  No, I was on the opposite side of the coin for this one. I was broken up with because they believed they would hurt me, if not already doing so.

What song did you last listen to?  Hip Hop Phile by BTS.

Ever ridden in a police car?  Nopes.

Ever witnessed a murder?  Hmm, not that I can recall. I do remember having to monitor crime stories for one of my very first journalism assignments and the one time I didn’t tag along to the fieldwork with my classmates, they got to witness a stabbing incident :/ By itself of course it always sucks to have violent situations like those, but as a reporter it would’ve been interesting to see the scene and its aftermath.

Have you ever lied under oath?  I don’t think so, no. I can’t even remember the last time I was put under oath.

Have you ever failed a subject before? I’ve failed exams but never an entire class.

Have you ever had a deadly animal as a pet?  No.

Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender?  Well yeah, I dated one.

Have you ever been in a hot tub before?  Sure.

Have you ever been to a movie that sold out?  I’ve never experienced trying to buy tickets only to find out they’re all sold out, but that’s also probably because we have hundreds of malls in Manila alone and you can always find a theatre that are still offering tickets.

What movie last made you too scared to go to sleep?  I’m not usually that way with horror movies, but I do remember running into a jumpscare on TikTok while I was scrolling at 3 AM. Not fun.

When you’re on a laptop, do you hook up a mouse or use the touchpad?  Touchpad. I never use a mouse.

What’s your mom’s mom’s name?  Agnes.

Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the person you like?  I’m not interested in anyone so this shouldn’t be a problem.

Have you ever been tempted to steal?  Sure, but the urge is never so strong.

What is the main character’s name in the book you’re reading? I’m not reading anything.

Do you have a favorite local band? Who are they? Nah. I did have a Ben&Ben phase, though I haven’t revisited their music in a long time.

Who’s the last person you saw naked, aside from yourself?  I’m not sure about completely naked, probably still my ex. As for partially naked, my dad sometimes goes shirtless at home as most Filipino dads do lol.

Who’s your favorite horror monster/killer?  The most iconic for me would be that porcupine looking ass from Resident Evil 4, I believe it was meant to be for one of the boss stages or something. Anyway, it’s memorable for me just because that fucker had been impossible to defeat and I loved watching my older cousin do attempt after attempt. I don’t think he ever got to beat him and by the time he did us cousins were already adults, lol.

On a side note, we called him ‘Porcupine’ as kids since a shitload of spikes would stick out of him unpredictably during the boss stage, and I thought that nickname had been just our thing; but I’m actually surprised that that villain actually comes up when you do a simple ‘Resident Evil 4 porcupine’ search haha. I guess other people called him the same thing too.

What kind of music do you prefer to listen to when driving?  I usually put on a playlist of BTS’ rapline; I tend to enjoy high-energy songs while driving.

Would you ever own a hairless rat, cat or dog?  I don’t see why I wouldn’t when it comes to the dog. I don’t want a cat or rat. 

All the people you’ve kissed, what did their names start with?  G.

What did you and your ex fight about most?  It was about the deeper, more profound stuff. We never saw eye to eye about the future, if we were helping the other grow, etc. Someone was always scared or insecure about something that the other could never help with fixing.

Don’t you love long hugs?  Sure, I love getting hugs as long as I’m comfy around the one giving it.

And long kisses?  Mhm, they’re nice.

Have you ever purchased condoms?  Only for Angela when she had still been too shy to ask for it herself. 

Have you ever gone on vacation with your boyfriend/girlfriend?  No. We had gone out of town for daytrips, but never for a fully-decked out vacation.

Have you ever trashed your ex’s car after an argument?  I wouldn’t do anything that loud. My resentment’s a lot more reserved and subtle, definitely on the passive-aggressive side.

Would you leave a note on a car claiming responsibility if you damaged it?  If I left like a paint scratch, no. If I was somehow stupid enough to manage wrecking the car then yes.

Have you ever used someone's handicapped parking pass to get a parking spot?  Oh that’s just gross. No. I do remember unknowingly parking over a spot meant for the handicapped once just because the paint was so fucking faded. It was genuinely so hard to tell but in the end I ended up just getting out of the spot and looked for another just to be on the safe, unassholey side.

Are you embarrassed to tell people your job?  Not at all! I love telling people I work in PR and sharing the brands I work with...it’s just a bitch trying to explain what exactly it is I do on a normal day. I’m still blanking out on it now that I’m thinking about it, haha. PR’s a challenge to summarize in one or two sentences.

If you ran over an animal would you keep driving?  I honestly have no clue how I’d deal with it. Ideally I would pull over and help bring it to the side of the road, and try to ask for help from passersby as well. I’m still not sure what I should/would do next.

Where’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner?  French, Spanish, and Italian restaurants always seem to carry a pleasant, date-y atmosphere to them, so any of those cuisines should be ok. I also like quieter restaurants with warm yellow lighting, since that makes me feel at home the most. The place definitely doesn't have to be super popular; I would just want for it to serve good food.

What hobby would you get into if time and money weren’t an issue?  Flying planes.

What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?  Probably something that’s booked with thrill-seeking adventures? Like a day of wakeboarding, paragliding, skydiving, riding an ATV...I would be exhausted as fuck and sleep for the next three days, but I can’t even begin to imagine how fun it would be.

When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with? Writing stuff. < Yeah, essentially. My friends ask me for general life advice too.

Has anybody criticized the way your significant other looked like?  Yeah. But I always defended her.

Have you written or drawn anything for somebody else?  I mean I’ve written long letters, but I haven’t made a poem or song for anyone.

Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished?  These days it would probably be Arlan. He just finished his Masters in Journalism at Columbia and I couldn’t be more proud. I remember wanting to attend Columbia too, but seeing how my love of journalism turned out...I’ve long accepted the fact that that route was not meant for me, hahaha.

What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?  Finish a painting, which can also serve as a callout to me lol.

What would you rate 10/10?  Seafood.

What do you hope never changes?  My relationships with my best friends.

Would you ever have sex with the last person you texted?  No, I barely have a clue who she is and she seemed decades older when she called me up this morning.

Is there anyone that you’d love to just spill your guts to?  I’m good.

Where is the person you have feelings at right now? 

Are you happy with your relationship status?  Yessssssss. I love not having to worry about another person to spend on LOL

When did you last cry? What for?  Two Saturdays ago. The one-year mark of my breakup had been coming up and an overwhelming wave of emotions just flooded me all of a sudden, I guess. There was happiness and relief from not being stuck in it anymore; feeling sorry for myself as I remembered the turmoil and deterioration I went through in the latter part the year; anger for the shit she pulled; and there was also just the general feeling of being grateful that I’m still here after everything.

Do you think you’re wasting your time on the person you love? 

When’s the next time you’ll kiss someone?  No clue. I’m not holding my breath for it and that’s okay.

Were you ever scared to death of anyone you knew? Or are you currently?  Yeah, unfortunately I’ve always been surrounded by at least one person who terrifies me.

What’s the longest you’ve been away from home by yourself?  Nothing more than a day. That’s something I have yet to try out.

Have you ever been made fun of, because of what you look like?  Athenna was relentless in her insults. I dunno why I was friends her for as long as I was.

Have you ever made fun of others, because of what they look like?  If they’re some random person on the internet with disgusting political views, then yeah; but it’s just thoughts I keep in my head and I never verbalized the bullying. But not anyone in real life. Do you think it’s cute when you’re leaving a place, and a guy says “no hug?”  If I’m friends with the person I’ll banter with them for a bit until I give in for a hug. If it was any other guy I barely know...I would be disgusted and throw them the dirtiest glare.

Do you wear short shorts (if you’re a girl)? I didn't know short shorts were specific to females. < LOL same. Anyway no, not these days. I used to but they’re not really a part of my personal style anymore.

Who are you the most uncomfortable around?  Relatives with the wrong political views.

Who has your heart?  Nobody.

Should cloning ever be allowed to happen?  I don’t see the point. No.

Are you impatient with really shy people? If it gets to the point that they seem aloof and radiate very I-could-not-care-less-about-getting-along-with-any-of-you vibes, then yeah I feel like I would get irritated pretty fast. But I was an extremely shy person once too, so I’m typically friendly with them and I would usually be That person who constantly stays next to them so they feel like they belong.

Does your house have air conditioning throughout, or do you have one that sits in your window?  It sits in the window, as with most households here.

What is the most ridiculous band name you’ve heard recently?  I haven’t encountered anything wacky recently.

Would you ever get a fashion mullet?  No.

Do you believe that Jesus lived and is returning?  No.

Do you believe in spiritual gifts?  No.

Do you believe in callings?  Not really, no.

If you were rich, would you get a professional photoshoot done?  Hell no. I get extremely sheepish in front of a camera and a thousand times worse at posing.

[thatboleyn-girl]

Take Me or Leave Me

Ahh! Alright this was requested by @sixstuffff and I really hope I did this justice! This fic is based off the song ‘Take Me or Leave Me’ from Rent, so, enjoy!

warnings: jealous!cathy parr, fighting, swearing, mentions of sex and makeouts (lol what a combo)

----

Catherine Parr was exhausted after a long day of classes. She always dreaded her back-to-back classes on a Thursday, but, the best part of her day was finally here. Her girlfriend, Anne Boleyn, always meets her after her final class. The couple had been together for 2 months but decided to keep their relationship as private as possible due to the overwhelming amount of homophobia still present at their school.Their closest friends, Jane Seymour and Katherine Howard knew, but that was all, so it was much to Cathy’s dismay when she saw Anne flirting with one of the girls in her class. The way her eyes were lit up and the smile on her face was deadly similar to the way she looked at her, and Cathy wasn’t here for it. 

“Hey Annie, are we ready to go?” Catherine asked, interrupting what the other girl was saying. 

“Hey Cath!” Anne said in an excited, loving voice, “Yeah, let’s go. It was lovely to meet you Anna.” The two girls walked off, Anne reaching over to wrap her arm around Cathy’s waist, “How was your day, gorgeous?”

“Fine.” 

“Just fine, baby?”

“Yeah. Nothing special,” Cathy said in a soft voice before pulling away from Anne, which caused her to sigh and check the time on her phone at least 10 times before they got back to their dorm. 

Cathy began to walk to the study before Anne grabbed her hand to stop her, “Baby, what’s wrong? I know how you feel about talking when you’re upset but,” Anne began before she was interrupted.

“You might think I don’t, and you might think this doesn’t bother me but it does. I see it, Annie. I see the way everyone looks at you, and it hurts! The way you entertain it and flirt back, it hurts me to see you act like that around other people when you always say you’re mine.”

“Cathy, baby, how many times have we been over this, I love you, and you are everything and more to me. You are the only person I want to be with, for the rest of my life, I promise you. Don’t lose your head over this.”

“You say that and then you go and flirt with these guys and girls at school and at parties! Don’t think I don’t see you letting those frat boys feel you up, don’t think I don’t hear the things they say about you, the ways they would please you if they got half the chance.”

“Okay you have crossed the line with that one. That was before we were even together, and, in my defence, I thought you were straight then, too. I’ve told you countless times that you are all I see and I’m sorry that you don’t see that. Why are we even fighting, whose bed do I end up in every night, huh? Who do I get to claim as my own over and over again,” Anne said, trying to calm Cathy down. 

“Jesus Christ, I’m not your toy to just play around with, Anne!”

“And I’m not yours either! I’m not anyone’s toy, neither are you. I’ve tried, Cathy. I’m trying but it’s on you to refuse to listen to me. You’re being an overprotective control freak, do you know how many people would kill to be in your shoes,” Anne regretted that last part the second it left her mouth. 

“Oh you are such a self obsessed brat, Anne Boleyn. You know what, the choice is yours, if you give a damn, take me or leave me.” Catherine yelled in response, she was on the verge of a panic attack. Her hands were shaking and she felt a bile rise in her throat.

“That’s it. I’m done,” Anne yelled back, before grabbing her purse, phone and keys and storming out the door. 

As soon as she heard the door slam, Cathy fell to the ground sobbing, this was all her fault, if she hadn't been over dramatic and a control freak like Anne was saying she was, this wouldn’t have happened. She wouldn’t have just lost her soulmate for what felt like forever. She was then taken by surprise when she heard a soft knock on the door. She quickly steadied her breath, wiped her face and opened the door. Standing in front of her was the couple’s next door neighbour and best friend, Jane Seymour, “Hey Janey.”

“Hi lovely, I heard yelling, then some door slamming, then Anne storming down the hallway, crying on the phone to who I’m assuming is Kitty, and then I decided to check in and see what’s going on.”

“Yeah, sure, come in. Would you like something to eat or drink?” Cathy asked in a soft voice.

“No, I’m quite alright hon, What happened?” Jane said. 

“Is Anne okay? How mad did she seem?” Catherine asked, ignoring Jane’s question. 

“You really love her don’t you Cath?” Jane began, “She’ll come around. She’s hurting, as are you, but I heard she was on her way to Kitty’s and I’m sure she’ll be safe. If you two truly love each other, and were meant for each other, you’ll find your way back to one another, I promise. You both just need some time to cool off. How about I stay around for dinner and we watch a movie or two?”

“I would love that, thank you Jane,” Cathy said with a small smile before giving the girl a hug.

---

Jane and Cathy were lying on the couch watching a movie on Netflix when they heard the door unlock. In walked Anne, in the same green sweater and ripped jeans as she was wearing earlier, her hair and makeup were a mess and she looked exhausted. 

“I think I’ll get going so you two can have your privacy,” Jane said before getting up, putting her shoes on and walking towards the door, “I’ll speak to you later, girls.”

“Bye Jane, thanks for dinner!” Cathy called out, “I think we should talk, Annie.”

Anne looked terrified, she nodded slightly and slowly walked over to the space on the couch furthest away from Catherine. She bought her legs up to her chest and made sure to take up the smallest amount of space possible. Cathy immediately felt awful, Anne always tried to hide and diminish her mental health issues but Cathy always knew, and, to her, it was very obvious Anne had one of her more severe panic attacks. 

“I love you, so much,” Anne said almost in a whisper, “I don’t want to lose you,” She then broke down into tears, burying her head in her knees. Cathy wrapped her arms around the brown-haired girl straight away, pulling her into a massive hug and placing a kiss on the top of her head. 

“I love you too, more than anything, Annie. I’m sorry about before, I had a hard day at school and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. You are so much more than that, and you deserve so much more than that.”

“Cathy, I think I’m ready to tell people about us,” Anne said in a quiet voice, “I was scared of what other people would think, and how others would feel, but that doesn’t matter to me anymore. We haven’t been together for that long but I want to spend the rest of my life with you, this isn’t me proposing I promise I’ll make it a hundred times better than this,” Anne joked, making the couple laugh, “But I love you so much, and that’s all that matters to me now.”

“I don’t want this to force you into making that decision, Annie. If that’s what you really want then I’ll be by your side the whole way, but if you’re making this decision purely based on what happened today, I don’t want you to feel pressured into doing that.”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while, Cath. I think it’s time,” Anne said and looked up at her girlfriend before placing a soft kiss to her lips, “I love you, and I’m so sorry.”

“I love you too, and there’s no need to be sorry, my love. You are the most important thing in my life, I don’t know what I’d do without you, even though you can be really annoying sometimes,” Cathy laughed. 

Anne smiled as she cuddled closer to Cathy, interlocking their fingers and placing a soft kiss to her hand, “The girl I was talking to earlier, that was Kitty’s new partner, Anna. She recognised me and wanted to say hi and talk to me before their date on Sunday.”

Guilt and shame washed over Cathy immediately, “I am so sorry,” She began, her eyes filling up with tears, “I shouldn’t have been so selfish and controlling then this wouldn’t have happened.”

“It’s okay, Cath. You didn’t know and it’s in the past anyway,” Anne said before reaching up and placing a kiss to Cathy’s lips, soft at first, but quickly turning into a heated, passionate exchange between the pair. Anne’s lips trailed down to place soft kisses on Cathy’s neck, causing her to let out a quiet moan. Before reconnecting her lips with Catherine’s, she reached over to pull her jumper off, Cathy doing the same. 

The two girls were so caught up in their own world of passion, they didn’t notice the door unlocking, “Oh my god you guys!” Kitty squealed. Both Anne and Catherine were shocked at the voice and quickly jumped apart. Catherine’s face was going bright red as she fumbled around, trying to put her shirt on, Anne, however, could not stop laughing, “Well I’m glad you think it’s funny, Anne! I just walked in on my cousin and her girlfriend practically fucking on the sofa!”

“I’m sorry Kit, is everything okay?” Anne responded, trying to hold back her laughter. 

“I wanted to check on you guys and make sure you’re okay, but clearly, I’ve got my answer to that.”

“We’re good, aren’t we babes?” Anne said in a soft voice, reaching over for Cathy’s hand, which she took almost immediately and smiled. Catherine was in it for the long haul, and, for the first time, she was certain that Anne felt the same. 

[notalittlebutalottie]

Written for Klaroline Valentine’s Day Bingo 2020 @kcvalentinesbingo by @eliliyah (I am determined to get a bingo...even if I end up going past Valentine’s Day lol)

Prompt: Candlelit Dinners

“Klaus!” her voice travelled through the winding path lined with canvases both plain and painted. She wondered which of the paintings were being selected for his next show; she always liked to go because it meant free champagne and the chance to act like she had any idea about the cost of his paintings around real connoisseurs.

Caroline sighed as she found the main area of his annoyingly large loft apartment, the currently propped up canvas without its painter. While she dusted off the stray snowflakes on her black leather jacket, she hadn’t noticed him wandering in from the bathroom, paint rag in hand.

“Come to drag me off to dinner already, Caroline?”

Her shoulders jumped and she spun around to view Klaus covered in paint. He was like a child let loose in a kindergarten class. The splash of blue marking under his chin was indicative of his usual pondering gesture. She placed her hands around her waist, fingers drumming across the leather gently.

“I’m here to make sure you’re not late. You know how Elena gets when you rock up like it’s nothing.”

Their old high school group had managed to stay friendly over the years, luck bringing them all to New York for work. Unfortunately, there were less parties and more unfulfilled plans once they began their jobs. That was when she and Elena had proposed they meet every Thursday night for drinks and plastic-cheese covered nachos at a bar equidistant to their apartments. Caroline had done a meticulous search of bars fitting that criteria. Yet despite being freelance and having the most relaxed job in the entirety of the universe, Klaus could still find time to waste away while the rest of them waited for his arrival.

His relaxed posture tightened in panic as he replied, “Oh, well if Elena requested—”

“Shut up,” she broke out into a breathy laugh, reaching for a nearby brush to throw at his shoulder. She barely missed, the brush swiping against the skin of his arm.

Klaus’ brows raised teasingly, but he held his hands up in surrender when she folded her arms. He did love to see her face whenever he even grazed her buttons. “Okay, okay,” he chuckled before looking at his watch, his eyes crinkling in confusion. “Forgive me if my watch is playing up, but why the bloody hell are you here? We’re not meeting for over an hour.“

His watch was correct. Caroline shifted on her feet, shrugging as she wandered along to his easel. She picked up a thin brush to inspect as she replied nonchalantly, “Well, you see—”

Klaus pushed out his lips, attempting to contain the knowing expression wishing to break free. He kept silent and revelled in the cute way she meandered on her way to an answer.

“I finished work early and thought, ‘you know who lives nearby? Klaus’ and coincidentally I have this really fancy gala coming up. So then, I thought ‘you know who has a weird, bordering on creepy, collection of designer dresses? Also Klaus’. And then, I came up—”

“I don’t think it’s that weird,” he muttered in between her rambling.

“—and your door was unlocked, which, by the way, is totally dangerous! I could’ve been a murderer! So, I came up and here you are and here I am with the need for a dress!”

It was at this point, Klaus had resigned himself to chuckling rather tiredly. In all of their years of friendship, she hadn’t improved upon her lack of concise explanation, though he would argue against himself that it was an enjoyable pastime to hear it. 

“First of all, sweetheart, you know that my sister uses my place as a second storage unit.” He pressed his lips together for a moment, noting the adoringly childish way his friend bit her tongue out. “Second of all, I resent being used as a designer store. That being said,” her eyes wandered coyly, “you did make the trip in the snow and I suppose it would be rude to deny you.”

“Thank you,” she said with a deepened tone and a curtsy. The lip-service was short as she rushed off to his room, which left him to laugh quietly as he preoccupied himself with painting.

Caroline was happy to see the trunk left of his bedroom door with its gorgeous gold baroque detailing atop a seafoam coloured paint. Oh, she could have just died as she unlatched it and lifted the lid; all those beautiful dresses could easily blind a person unprepared for its glory. Rebekah may have been a bit stuck up —Caroline refuted that she was a mini-version of herself—, but she had impeccable, expensive tastes.

“So, how is Rebekah?” she called out while removing her jacket and shirt in quick succession. Her eyes had been caught by the Saint Laurent midi dress that Rebekah had so smugly shown off when visiting the previous year.

“Wondering if you can get away with keeping one of those ridiculously priced gowns?” he questioned, soon speechless for a moment as her bare back reflected in a nearby mirror. Though it took him a moment, he averted his gaze.

“It’s not like she would notice one missing,” Caroline reasoned in a musical tone.

“You and I both know that is absolutely not true.”

A few dresses and many thoughtful paint strokes later, Caroline was strutting out of his room in the outfit she arrived in but with a silk black dress poking out of her bag. Rebekah would kill her if she saw the oxymoron that was her the two-grand dress in Caroline’s forty dollar bag.

“Your services are appreciated.” Caroline smiled, her eyes turning into crescent moons of themselves. “New piece for your next show?” she asked with the drop of her jaw at the beautiful shapes taking place on the canvas.

“Perhaps.”

She was enamoured by his concentrating face. The first time she saw it, she giggled at the murderous stare that took hold of the canvas. Now, it was simply pleasurable to see how much his work meant to him.

Her lashes fluttered in an attempt to break herself from her thoughts. “We should probably go. We’ll probably take a little longer because of the snow.”

“Already? I was so hoping we could spend more time helping you loot my sister’s clothing.” Klaus’ lips tugged out gently but spread into a full smile when her flat expression met his eyes. “Help me with some of these?” he implored, his arms gesturing to a stack of paintings below the window.

“Aye aye, captain.” She saluted, smiling back when she noticed another stain of paint had appeared on his cheek.

Caroline’s phone pinged and she quickly fished it out of her bag while Klaus picked up the first painting, taking the opportunity to peer out of the window. “Uh, love?”

“Hm?”

She squinted at the stream of messages coming through to their group chat. Damon was celebrating the snow blanketing the city while the rest of them complained about having to get home.

“I’m not sure we will be going out tonight.”

“Yeah, the rest of the group are calling for a reschedule.”

“No, I mean at all.”

Like a cruel punishment from the gods, the lights cut out with the end of his words.

“Are you kidding me?” Caroline puffed her cheeks out, her annoyance growing as she noticed the internet had immediately followed suit with the lights.

“The roads are covered and by the looks of it, every door down this street is blocked. I don’t think you’ll make it far,” Klaus informed her with faux guilt to cover the fact that he was happy to have her alone for once.

Caroline groaned, her feet dragging as she attempted to navigate his place in the dark. She could barely make out his figure but took hold of his arm to get her bearings. “I think this is the worst thing to have ever happened.”

“Ever?”

She didn’t need to see to know he was grinning ear to ear and promptly gave his chest a gentle punch. 

“Forgive me, I was unaware you were so captivated by the cheap beer and knock-off Mexican food.” He couldn’t fully read her expression, but the idea of her pout was enough to tickle his senses.

“Hey, I was looking forward to drowning in those nachos after I missed lunch,” she reasoned with a huff.

He gave into a laugh, grasping her wrist and leading her slowly around the path of paintings to the kitchen. It was no surprise that she immediately commented on the lack of organisation in his loft.

“I’m sure I can whip up something just as delectable, love,” he mused, leaving her standing in the middle of the kitchen while he cautiously felt his way to the cupboards.

“I can’t believe you still don’t have a table,” she mumbled. “Where do you even eat?”

“At my workstation. I am an artist after all — can’t be away from my craft for too long.”

“How brooding of you.” Caroline took it upon herself to rummage through a bottom cupboard, pulling out a set of three medium-sized candles. Each one she had bought for him as a Christmas gift. That liar had told her he used them all the time, yet they were safely stored in the back.

Swiftly, she pulled a box of matches from a drawer and took to lighting each candle. The smell of cinnamon and winter berries filled her nostrils to her delight.

“Should I be concerned you know your way around my kitchen so well? And in the dark, no less.” Klaus couldn’t deny he was both impressed and rather infatuated with the idea.

She rolled her eyes, lips teasing a smile. “Should I be concerned you don’t?”

Caroline didn’t wait for his reply as she placed the candles in an odd triangular shape on the floor.

“Are you planning to sacrifice me, love? I should have known you only wanted my friendship for my body,” he teased as he finished the meal preparation.

“Yes, I’m trying to become a billionaire and the requirement for sacrifice was a frustrating British man who lacks a dining table,” her monotone voice rang out while she searched his bedroom for a blanket. His bed always looked so inviting, even in the dark she could only think about the memory foam mattress he had bought the previous Spring.

“Well, I am willing and able.”

She shook herself from those ideas when he shouted out in reply.

Caroline finally returned with a blanket, neatly laying it on the cold flooring of his kitchen. She looked up at him and the two plates of food in his hands. As he slowly lowered himself down to place them on the blanket, she scoffed through a laugh.

“Wow, I wonder if Picasso’s dinner of choice was also pop tarts and PB and J?”

“I assure you, I serve only the finest foods when hosting a candlelit dinner,” Klaus spoke slowly, enunciating in that delicious way he would when flirting with other girls. “Besides, I believe he was more of a macaroni and cheese, guy, sweetheart.”

She let her gaze flick to his lips, taking a gratuitous view of them in hopes that the candles didn’t expose her. “Well, I hope I’m not just another candlelit dinner during a snowstorm in that case.”

The smirk that grew on his face was hard to remove when he felt her eyes travel towards his lips. “Certainly not, Caroline. You’ll be the one and only.”

[philjacobsen-blog]

Antarctica. How I learned to stop worrying and love the isolation.

I put on my gloves and face mask like I had done every day for the past six months. I wanted to protect myself, be safe and I wanted to be healthy. No, I wasn’t a prepper preparing for the end of the world and/or the coronavirus, I lived in Antarctica.

From 2002 to 2018, I spent over six years of my life working and living in Antarctica. Math might tell you that looks like “16 years,” but Antarctica works on a different schedule.

Scientists and contract laborers (like myself) have been limited to work a maximum of 14 months straight in Antarctica. Because, after 14 months of isolation, it has been said, “You might lose your mind.” Therefore, four weeks, six weeks, or eight weeks of coronavirus quarantine is like a walk on the frozen ocean.

Everyone loves Top 10 lists, but first, here is the background of life in Antarctica.

There are two different seasons in Antarctica: summer and Winter. For the laymen, that’s when it’s light 24 hours a day (summer) and then when it’s dark 24 hours a night (Winter). It’s not by accident that “Winter” is capitalized and “summer” is in lowercase. This is because you need to respect Winter.

I have spent four Winters in Antarctica. While there have been changes to the Winter schedule, when I Wintered in Antarctica at McMurdo Station, the largest of the three American bases on the 7th Continent, a plane with all of our friends, hopes, dreams and escape plans left in February. The next time we would see the lights of a plane in the sky would be in August.

In other words, shit got real when that last plane left. We had to trust we had enough food, talent and toilet paper to last us until the end of August. This is because, as the saying goes, “If we don’t have it, then you don’t need it. And, you don’t need it, because we don’t have it.”

If you run out of chicken, then you eat pork. When you run out of pork, you eat lamb, when you run out of lamb, you eat hamsters--hamsters are, what we called, microwavable breaded (or deep fried) ham and cheese Hot Pockets™®.

In other words, the grocery stores are open; quit panicking. When you’re outside, hoping your squirrel trap has been bountiful today, this is the time to panic. However, today, it’s not minus 45 degrees outside. Walmart will be restocked soon, put on your mask and gloves and purchase only what you need. Then go home.

And, if Walmart is out of toilet paper, hook a garden hose to your faucet and clean your ass, and be happy your water supply doesn’t give you frostbite.

It’s going to be fine.

In Antarctica, we were living like it was Gilligan’s Island, “No phone, no lights, no motorcar, not a single luxury.” The only difference was we had phones, lights and motorcars, but when we went outside it was minus 45 –degrees—not a luxury. Stay inside on your couch and be happy that when you do go outside to take out the trash, walk the dog or mow your lawn, you’re not getting third degree frostbite and having your toes cut off.

This little piggy went to the market. This little piggy watches Netflix. This little piggy stays home.

Speaking of movies and TV shows, my good God, we would have loved to have had Netflix, bootlegged versions of Game of Thrones, YouTube or Facebook in Antarctica. Instead, the entirety of McMurdo’s bandwidth is mostly for Science.

Rarely could I “LOL” with my friends on Facebook or “YOLO” with spring breakers at the beach. Nope, Science is the priority in Antarctica.

Science, I tell you. A bunch of people, who we called “Beakers,” is the entire reason McMurdo Station exists. These Scientist are in Antarctica to prove or disprove Global Warming and/or can penguins fly and/or are penguins cute. Generally, they proved it, but why listen to scientists?

Scientists went to school and studied stuff, but have they ever studied the “economy” or “Facebook?” Can you imagine an entire community who listens to scientists? Oh wait, you can? Possibly because we’re in a global pandemic? Yeah, listen to scientists?

During my Winters in Antarctica, I could go days and only see the one person who I worked with, and guess what? I hated him.

In the community, we called him “Skin Suit.” This was his nickname because, even though he passed his battery of psychological examinations, which are required in order to Winter-Over in Antarctica, he said to Suzy—a la “Silence of the Lambs.”

“I wish I could wear your skin, so I could touch you all day.”

So, there I was, working at the bottom of the world, with Jame “Buffalo Bill” Gume as my coworker for six months, in total darkness, and do you want to know how I got along with him (aside from the one time I threw hot coffee in his face)? I complimented his outfits. I tried to look for the positive in the people who surround me.

My first job in Antarctica, I was a dishwasher. I left my home, friends and a girlfriend to seek this adventure. I’m still happy with two out of three of those decisions.

The first year I spent in Antarctica there was a “Dishwasher Emergency” at the South Pole (850 miles from the sea level solitude of McMurdo). Just like we need grocery store employees, drive through food and universal health care, the South Pole needed a dishwasher—and they chose me.

The South Pole is located at 9,301 feet above sea level. That’s not very high. When I live my life in my hometown of Salt Lake City, I live at 4,327 feet above sea level. I have climbed high mountains in Utah, like Mt. Timpanogos that is 11,752 feet and Mt. Nebo that is 11,928 ft. I’m not healthy, but I’m also not fat.

When I was asked to work at the “high altitude” of 9,301 feet of the South Pole, I said, “Okay. I’ve done that.”

However, what I didn’t know, was that because the South Pole is at “The South Fucking Pole” it’s not just about the altitude. The South Pole has a variance of altitude because of the Earth’s centrifugal force which makes the South Pole seem much higher than the actual 9,301 feet. At times it can feel, because of lack of oxygen, as though you are over 12 or 13 thousand feet.

Before going to the South Pole, the doctors and scientists said I should take “prophylactic acetazolamide” to combat the feelings of high altitude sickness. However, my friend Donald said, “You’ll be ‘okay.’” He said that since he was from Colorado and I was from Utah, that I would be fine, because I was “use to the high altitude.”

I was at the South Pole for eight days. I quit taking prophylactic acetazolamide on day four, because I was feeling great. I listened to Donald.

On day eight, I nearly died. This wasn’t Utah. Because I’d lived at sea level for four months at McMurdo Station, and Donald didn’t know shit, my pulse oximeter (the amount of oxygen which should be in my blood and close to 100) was 52. I was failing breathing.

Pulmonary edema cut the oxygen supply to my brain making me think 3 + 7 = Cat. The South Pole doctor said, “Phil, you are two to four hours from death.”

All flights to the South Pole were canceled on this day, due to weather, but, due to “2 to 4 hours of death,” a C130 National Guard Airplane risked their lives and flew from McMurdo Station to rescue me at the South Pole. If not for universal Antarctica Health Care, I could be dead.

On this day, I learned I needed to listen to the scientists, and not to Donald.

This story ended up being too long. I’m sorry. I’ve lived through isolation, listened to friends, instead of the medical community, and somehow I’m still alive. How did Antarctica prepare me for the isolation of the coronavirus?

1: Do something today better than you did yesterday. Did you go to bed sooner? Wake up earlier? Brush your cat?

2: Exercise. In Antarctica my exercise routine was called, “Brushing the Dust Off of David.” There is no reason to take a hammer and chisel to David. All you need to do is to take a wet cloth and brush off the dust. Do 10 sit ups, pushups, or jog in place. Be happy with who you are, and barely maintain. If you set higher expectations, you might fail. Simply, brush the dust off of your personal David.

3: Do something better today than you did yesterday. There were many times in Antarctica I got more drunk on Friday than I did on Thursday. I’m not advocating alcoholism, but lower your expectations. Don’t look for perfection when a glass of wine might do.

4: Did you make your bed after you woke up? Some days you will go to bed and your biggest accomplishment will be, “I made that bed today.” Congratulations.

5: Groundhog Day. Every day may seem like yesterday, but, how did you make it different? In Antarctica, after six months of Winter the trash shelves are lined with “Learn ‘This Language’ in 30 Days” DVDs. Nobody accomplishes a lot during the isolation of Winter. But, if we do little, then that is a lot.

6: Communication. Does your phone work? In Antarctica, no one can call us, so we have to call out. Instead of waiting for ‘that phone call.’ Make it.

7: Don’t go outside. It’s too cold. In the Covid-19 case, it’s too dangerous. My dad goes to dialysis three times a week; please don’t kill him. Don’t go outside.

8: Appreciate your pets. In Antarctica we are not allowed to have pets. I started the “Antarctica Cat Club.” All we did was share photos of our cats from home that we wished to be with. Now, we get to live a cat’s life. Nap. Eat. Shit. Nap. Clean. Nap. Eat. Repeat.

Love your pets you lucky sons of bitches.

9: Art. Be creative. Rather you’re by yourself or preferably, with only yourself. Do something artistic. For instance, today, I chose to write this Manifesto. In Antarctica a group of us recreated the (drunk) history of the race to South Pole by Roald Amundsen and Robert Scott (https://vimeo.com/35084075). What will you or your isolated group create?

10: Know that it ends. A plane will come and take you away or scientists will tell you it’s safe to go outside. And then, it’s over. You take off your mask and gloves. You shop at a grocery store, you go to a movie, you hug your parents or, you love being able to hold those who you love.

Stay warm. Stay isolated. And, stay indoors.

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Two Hundred Eighty-Eight: Sifting Through Sand ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Hyūga Hiashi ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

“So...any ideas of what you wanna do before Summer break ends?”

Lying in the shade of a tree in her backyard, Hinata stares up into the leaves. A gentle breeze sways them to and fro, speckles of sunlight filtering through and dancing over the pair of them. There’s only a handful of weeks before the Summer between high school and college is over, and they officially enter the next phase of their lives. By some grace, they’re only going to be about two hours apart. More than doable for a continued relationship, in her humble opinion.

Taking time to think over Sasuke’s question, she heaves a long, thoughtful sigh. She’s been taking this Summer slowly, doing her best to make it last. But they have a bit of time left for one last hoorah. Maybe a trip, or...a day for some event…?

“...what about you?” she asks to stall for time, earning a chuckle.

“I asked you first.”

“I’m thinking.”

A few seconds of contemplative silence pass. “...I’d like to go to the coast for a few days.”

That gets her to glance over to him, brows lifting a bit. “...oh?”

“Yeah. Just to hang out, have a change of scenery...maybe act like a tourist for a bit,” he explains, unable to help a hint of a grin. “Leave stuff here behind and sort of...recharge the batteries before we head out, huh?”

A slight weight sinks in HInata’s gut at the notion. While many of her classmates are excited for college...she’s a little scared. Striking out (mostly) on her own, in a place she doesn’t know, surrounded by thousands of strangers...her introverted nature makes the prospect seem extremely daunting. The only person also going to her school that she knows is her cousin’s girlfriend, Tenten...but she’s a year older. Ino is attending a cosmetology school in the same city, and Sakura is diving right into nursing at a school along said coast.

“...I think...that sounds like fun,” she eventually replies, nodding.

“You wanna go?”

“Mhm! Like you said, it...it would be a nice change of pace. And the weather should be nice, right?”

“I’ll have to check the weather app. When do you wanna go?”

“Um...I don’t care.” It’s not like she has any other plans, really.

“...how about Thursday? We’ll drive in, have Friday and the weekend...and come back Monday.”

“I guess I need to c-check with my dad first, but…” Well, Hiashi’s already begrudgingly accepted the fact that his daughter is dating...and she is an adult. Surely he’ll let her go...right?

“Okay, cool. I better double check, too. I’ll let you know once I’ve got an answer.”

“Yeah, me too. But for now, I’m...very comfy,” Hinata admits with a giggle.

As if to agree, Sasuke rolls over and drapes an arm over her waist, chin over her head as she laughs a bit more. “...are you comfy?”

“Mm, very.”

“...good.”

After a day of relaxing together, the pair go their separate ways. Sasuke heads home, and Hinata heads inside. Her father has yet to return from work for the day, and her sister is at a Summer camp. It’s been rather nice having the house all to herself. Or...well, more often than not, to herself and to Sasuke. Hiashi hasn’t asked, and she hasn’t told...but part of her suspects he assumes as much. Hinata’s a smart girl, though - she’s drawn her boundaries well. And Sasuke respects them.

So she hopes their good behavior thus far will work in her favor when she asks.

Putting together a dinner for the pair of them, she greets her father when he gets home around five-thirty. “How was...h-how was your day?”

“Adequate,” he sighs, dropping off his things by the door. “Seems you’ve been busy in the kitchen.”

“Mhm! When was, um...Hanabi getting home again?”

“Next Monday, I believe. I have to go pick her up.”

“I see.” Setting the table and subtly watching to gauge her father’s mood, she then lightly notes, “It’s hard to believe Summer’s almost o-over already…”

“Excited for school?”

“Um...sort of. Pretty nervous…”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine. Everyone is nervous to some degree,” Hiashi offers as he takes his seat.

“I guess so…” Poking at her food a bit, there’s a pause before she offers, “I, um...I was thinking about maybe taking a quick trip to the...to the coast this weekend.”

“...oh?”

“Just, you know...one last little thing to do before school starts.”

Hiashi takes a bite of his dinner, chewing and thinking that over. “...I’m assuming you won’t be going by yourself.”

“Well...no. It was actually...Sasuke’s idea.”

...the chewing stops.

Hinata fidgets under the table.

”...I see. And how long would this trip be for?”

“He thought we could...leave Thursday to have a day to drive, and...come back Monday.”

“...four nights, then.” Hiashi leans back in his chair, sighing thoughtfully. “...and what would your hotel arrangement be?”

“W-well, we...didn’t get that far. We needed to ask, first.”

He nods slowly. “...if...you promise me you will have a two bed room, and keep your behavior appropriate...then I see no reason why you cannot go. To my knowledge, you have handled this...relationship responsibly. I trust you.”

For some reason...those three words bring a tightness to her chest. She can’t remember ever hearing him...say that before. “...thank you, Father. I...I will be on my best behavior. I promise.”

“I expect you will be. Be sure to check in every so often so I know you’re safe. And remind Sasuke it’s not just your actions I’ll be expecting to be kept in check.”

“Y...yes.”

Once dinner is over and the kitchen tidied, Hinata rushes to her room to text him the good news.

Yeah? Mine said I can go too. Guess it’s a go?

It’s a go!

Come Wednesday night, Hinata is packed, having gone through her inventory no less than three times to ensure she’s not forgetting anything. She supposes if anything is missing, she can always pick up a spare if it’s not too expensive. When morning rolls around and Sasuke swings by to pick her up, she pauses in the foyer as Hiashi calls her name.

“...do be careful, and text me when you get there.”

“I-I will. See you when we get back, Father.” She accepts a hug, finding it to be a little less...tense than usual. Waving, she then puts her bag in the back seat and hops into the front with Sasuke.

“Ready?”

“Yeah…!” A giddy excitement finds her, unable to stop a smile.

The drive takes a smidge over five hours, the pair making it to their hotel just a bit after midday. Checking in, they find their room, two beds as requested. Hinata sets her bag along the foot of one, Sasuke checking their view as she sends Hiashi an arrival text.

“Think we should head to the beach?”

“Can we eat first? I’m starving…!”

“I think there’s a place to eat along the sand - might be kinda spendy, but...we’re here to have fun, right?”

“Right!”

The cafe in question is a bit busy, but they get in after a half hour wait. The entire place is pretty much outdoor, and the floor is simply open to the sand beneath them. Sitting at a tall table atop stools, they order their food and watch the waves roll.

“I dunno about you...but I feel relaxed already,” Sasuke offers between bites.

“Yeah, me too...it’s so nice. Now I wish I’d applied for schooling over here!”

“We’ll just have to come back next Summer, or maybe over Spring break, huh?”

“Sure!”

After lunch, they walk around a few shops nearby the hotel, letting their meal settle. Hinata buys a few little trinkets, mostly souvenirs for Hanabi and her father. Sasuke indulges in one for Itachi, too. It’s then they return to their room, changing into swimsuits and heading out to the beach.

A bit self-conscious, Hinata at first stays sat on her towel, a bit huddled up. But Sasuke slowly urges her back up, the pair taking a leisurely walk along the beach.

“Hey, let’s look for some shells.”

“Think we can find some…?”

“Maybe.”

They move to a less trafficked part of the sand, sifting through it and looking for tidbits. They actually rummage up a decent sized pile, Hinata oohing at each find.

“Look at this one! It’s so tiny…”

“Y’know that a lot of sand is actually tiny little shells?”

“Really?!”

“Mhm. We’ll have to take some home…I’ve still got that little telescope. Maybe we can see some.”

As the day wanes, the pair take up their treasures and head back toward the hotel, a bit too tired to swim. Hinata sorts through the shells again, dividing them up so they can each have some to take home come Monday.

“Can I have this one?”

“You take whatever you want. I’m good with whatever.”

“...but -?”

“All I care about is having a few to remember today by. Doesn’t matter.”

Hinata goes a light shade of pink, sheepishly setting the shell on her pile.

They go to a fast food joint for dinner to save a little money, watching the sun set from their table. Then back to the hotel, lounging and browsing on their phones.

“Well...not bad for a partial day. Think we should turn in early so we can head out in the morning, get some touristing done?”

Hinata giggles. “Sure.” She slips into the bathroom to change into her pajamas: bunny-print shorts and a tank top. Sasuke dons only a pair of silky pajama pants, making her blush again.

“...you saw me shirtless earlier. And several times before now.”

“I-I know that! I just...I thought…”

Sasuke just snorts, making his way into bed. Hinata sets the alarm, and then turns out the light.

“...goodnight, Sasuke.”

“Night, Hinata.”

                                                     .oOo.

     Well, this one's a random stand-alone oneshot for once, lol - just some modern fluff, really.      Also I'm sorry I've been so behind as of late - life is kicking me in the pants and my mojo has been rather low. Add in some health trouble and I've just not been able to keep up ^^; Hoping I can play catch-up once October is over. We'll see. But one way or another, I WILL finish this challenge. Just...please bear with me while life is in a bit of a lurch <3      Anywho, not...too much to say otherwise? It kinda speaks for itself I guess lol - but for now III need some sleep :'D Thanks for reading~

[hhunjins]

Pairing: Minho x female reader

Genre: assassin!au, angst

Word Count: ~3,400

Warnings: Non-explicit violent scenes, blood, language, alcohol, major character death

Notes: Lol this is everything I would write for not skz (aka exo), but somehow it came out this way since Minho is Minho and so y’all are in for a wild ride. Also this is lowkey trash so please proceed with caution. (Please read the warnings!)

Summary: It’s a cutthroat world out there but Minho somehow manages to take you forget that every moment might be your last.

Minho’s fingers dig deep into your back. It’s supposed to be a massage, but it causes more pain than it eases.

“Shit, dude that hurts!” you hiss.

“You’re tense as hell, sweetheart, what do you want me to do?” Minho slaps your shoulder blade, sharp sound sounding more painful than it was. “Get up, it’s my turn.”

Your back cracks when you sit up from the bed. “I feel worse than before you started.” You stretch your stiff limbs, arms raised up the ceiling. “Never again.”

Minho gives you a side eye as he replaces your position on his bed. He stretches out his arms under his pillow and holds it to his chest. The thin material of his tank top doesn’t hide the dark scars that decorate his back like permanent reminders of the pain he’s been through. You don’t spend too long looking at them though. You’ve seen enough on your own body.

Your fingers are far gentler than Minho’s, but their get their job done. He’s dozing off when you finish, and is barely conscious when you whisper, “goodnight,” and slip out of his room.

Minho gets his next solo job at breakfast the next morning. You can’t help but stare at the USB sitting on the tabletop like it’s no big deal when it’s potentially more dangerous than all of the weapons you own. At least you know what to do with a knife or a gun. Whatever is on that flash drive could mean you’re walking straight to your death.

“Can you just eat? You’re freaking me out,” Minho grumbles. He stabs at his toast with the fork. “And stop worrying. It’s not anything I haven’t done before.” He even tries to give you a reassuring smile, but it comes out more as a grimace and you don’t feel reassured at all. “It’ll be fine, sweetheart.”

You glare at the nickname but it soon melts away to be replaced with worry. You hope he’ll be fine. You really don’t want news that your partner and best friend has died. It’ll be too much of a reoccurring nightmare. It’ll be too like the past.

“I didn’t even say anything,” you mumble.

Minho raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say a word.

You and Minho get along like a house on fire. Overbearing, all-consuming, fiery sparks. He’s constantly at your throat for dwelling too much on things you can’t change, and you hate him for being reckless. Though you suppose that’s why he’s been your best friend for so long. He knows the exact things that make you tick, down to the smallest detail. And you know when he’s hiding that he’s hurt so you can’t worry about yet another thing.

At the end of the day, you’re there to patch up his wounds and he’s there to hold you and whisper sweet white lies into your head so you can forget about the now and hope for a tomorrow where it wouldn’t be so bad.

Minho was supposed to be back exactly half an hour ago. He was supposed to walk through those doors, probably with sweat and the lingering stench of blood sticking to his skin, but with a dumb grin on his face because he finished his job. It’s been thirty minutes too long.

Your fist collides with the punching bag once more and the impact sends a jolt up your arm. You let out a curse and grab your shoulder. It’s been feeling off for a while now, but you thought it would just go away with time. Apparently not. You look at the clock again, watching as the second hand ticks by without stopping.

Time is a funny thing. Sometimes, it goes by too fast, other times it takes too long. Right now, you’re not sure whether which one you’d prefer.

You take your gloves off your hands, tossing them to the side and wiping the sweat off your hands and face with a towel. As you look at yourself in the mirror, the door to the gym opens and you see the familiar stupid grin.

A sigh escapes from your lips and your shoulders feel like an imaginary weight has been lifted off of them.

“I’m back, sweetheart.”

You joined the underground world of black markets, drug dealings, and contracted murders when you barely turned 18. It was a hard life out there, but it was either kill or be killed. You supposed you’d rather be on the killing side. The world doesn’t stop for an 18-year-old orphan with too many memories and not enough life to live for. You met Minho at a bar, where slid into the seat next to you, leather jacket, ripped jeans, and all.

“Sweetheart, what are you doing in a place like this?”

“Do I know you?”

“You do now.” He had winked at you then and asked, “Aren’t you a little too young to be here?”

You sloshed your drink on his white shirt and walked off. He followed you out and somehow never left. It wasn’t to say that you got along right away, but Minho was persistent, and you had clung onto the hope that maybe you had finally found a friend in someone that could stick around long enough.

Minho was there after your first kill. Of course, you knew what your occupation entailed, but seeing the life drain from the man’s eyes and the puddle of blood that spilled from the stab wound left a lasting impression. You were in too deep now, and there was no going back no matter how much you wanted to. The nightmares started then. With every death, they should have gone away, but for some reason, seeing that person’s face at night when you close your eyes still jolts you awake with tears running down your cheeks and chest heaving for air.

Minho knew it all. When wide eyed, shocked, y/n unlocked the front door with shaky fingers and nearly fell over when she entered, Minho was the one you steadied you. He washed the blood off your hands, even cleaning under your fingernails, and sprayed his Febreze all over your bed so you wouldn’t have to think of the metallic smell that clung onto the fibers of your clothing. He held you as you choked on air and rocked you to sleep as you sobbed.

You didn’t understand why you hated the world for taking your parents’ lives, yet you took someone else’s just as easily.

It was hard to digest. Merely 19 with blood on her hands. Merely 19 with nothing left.

“Is your shoulder still bothering you?”

You let out a grunt and catch the towel he throws at you. “Kind of. It’ll get better soon I guess.” You rotate your right shoulder and cringe a little when a sharp pain jolts down your arm.

Minho eyes you worriedly and plops down next to you on the training mats. “Maybe you should get it checked out.”

“I’m not sure I trust anyone here to doctor me, Minho,” you deadpan. “Especially not anyone who works for the big man.”

He lets out a short laugh at that. “You’re right. I’ll give you a massage later, sweetheart.” He pats his shoulder and scoots a little closer.

“Stop calling me that,” you snap, though there’s no hostility in your words. You rest your head on his shoulder and close your eyes. “I’m out on Thursday. I think it’s kind of a big deal since I’m partnered with Chan.”

Minho frowns and he turns his head to look at you, though he can’t see anything but your hair. “Why isn’t it us? You’re my partner.”

“Maybe it’s because you just came back.” You shake your head. “I don’t really know. Either way, it’ll be fine.”

“Will your shoulder be fine by then?”

“It should be. Don’t worry about it. Hey, do you think that if this goes well, he’ll let me leave?” But after a moment of silence and thinking through your words, you wave your hand dismissively in the air in front of you. “Never mind. Can you cook today?”

He lets out a small grunt, leaning his head on yours. “What do you want to eat, sweetheart?” Minho’s mind is whirring with thoughts.

Whenever it’s Minho’s turn to do the waiting, he’s never as focused on training as he should be.

Every hit to the worn-out punching bag is laced with worry, and every kick conveys the hidden emotions he never shows. He just wants you home. To him, you’re still the same 18-year-old he met three years ago. The one who covered up her fear with snarky comments. The one who pretends that the sight of blood doesn’t make her stomach churn. The one who cries after each mission and falls asleep in his arms because she can’t bear to be alone.

But unlike you, he doesn’t count down the minutes. He doesn’t stress himself out with that. You’ll make it back, and even if you’re steps away from death’s door, he’ll do everything in his power to make sure that you’ll be there to see another day. Instead, Minho finishes up practice earlier than normal, and goes to cook up a warm meal, something filling yet not too heavy in case you feel unstable. Most of the time, he fries eggs and makes enough rice for the both of you.

Minho is pretty good at timing too, because you somehow always come home right as he plates the food.

But today, it’s different.

Minho is still not as focused as ever, but instead of the worry of you getting back safely, it’s the lingering thoughts of the words that probably didn’t mean much but wouldn’t leave his mind. You two always joked about it: leaving the illegal shit and trying to brave the world like normal people. It was always a joke, since signing a contract with the big man meant life, but he can’t help but think about how your wistful tone held so much more than just simple joking.

He tips the sizzling pan to push the eggs onto the plate and places it on the table. You should be back any second now. He looks at the clock.

Five minutes.

Thirty minutes.

The food goes cold.

“It’s nice of you to join us again.”

You feel Minho’s hands on your shoulders, helping you to sit up. He props pillows behind your back so you can lean back on them. “The fuck?” Your head feels fuzzy and your throat feels dry as you speak. You break out in a round of coughs and nearly spill the water Minho holds out for you. The coughs send a shooting pain up your body and brings your attention to the throbbing in your left calf and how your shoulder is fitted into a cast. The pain hits you all at once, but the weight of the events leading up until now hurts even more.

You open your mouth to speak but Minho’s stern gaze and outstretched hand tells you to not. Instead, he guides the plastic straw in the glass to your chapped lips. The cool water sooths your parched throat and you didn’t even realize how thirsty you were until you gulped down the entire thing. “How’s Chan?” you croak.

Minho’s nose crinkles. “Alive.” he deadpans. He refills the glass with the pitcher on the nightstand.

“How long was I out?” Your hand presses against the long gash on your stomach and you feel the tight bandages wrapped around your body. “Shit, that hurts.”

“Three days,” he says curtly. Minho gives you the glass to hold this time, and its shaky in your left hand. His lips are pressed in a thin line and his eyes are hard as he watches you down the entire glass again. When you finish, he takes the glass from you. “I’ll get you some food and you can take the painkillers afterward.”

“Minho, are you mad at me?” you say in a small voice.

“I’m fucking furious you went on a job with your fucked-up shoulder and nearly got killed, y/n,” he snaps, “But there’s nothing I can do about it now.”

“As long as I’m here right?” you offer weakly.

“If I came back the way you did, you would have killed me.” Minho walks out of the room without saying another word.

It was true though. If he came back with blood spilling from his body like waterfalls and skin pale as paper and inches away from death’s grasp, you would have brought him back to life and then killed him yourself for putting you through that torture.

But this was Minho. Minho cared differently. Minho hurt differently. Minho loved differently.

When he returned with a small bowl of porridge, you tugged on his sleeve and waited for him to pull you into his arms.

“I thought I lost you sweetheart.”

Falling asleep in Minho’s arms was a common occurrence, though you try to deny it. There was something about his embrace that chased all the nightmares away and something in his presence that made sleep come easier. Even on the nights where you disappear into your own room, you somehow end up slipping into his to curl up beside him because having him there made closing your eyes less scary. It was either that or he’d come to you, thumbing away the tears that spilled down your cheeks from the memories that kept coming back no matter how hard you try to repress them.

The cast makes everything harder, but that doesn’t stop Minho from trying.

You’re situated between his legs, leaning on his chest, head tucked in the crook of his neck. Minho was asleep, even in his weird sitting position. You, on the other hand, couldn’t. His hands are still holding yours, though his grip is loose. Your fingers twitch nervously, though you try not to make the jerky movements too obvious or else you’ll wake him. The lamp on the nightstand is dim, but it’s enough to cast shadows on the walls.

It’s the shadows that keep you awake.

You really shouldn’t be like this. An assassin still afraid of the dark? It was almost as hilarious as an assassin afraid of blood.

“Sweetheart?” Minho’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you flinch at the sudden sound. “Why are you still awake? I can hear you thinking.” His voice is raspy with sleep. “It’s late.” Minho’s hands tighten around your own. “Does your arm hurt?”

“No,” you say softly.

“What is it then?”

“Thinking too much. Scared of dying but not sure if I want to keep living like this.”

“That’s a lot to be thinking about at 3 a.m.” His thumb rubs circles into the back of your hand. “I’ve got you,” he mumbles , arms tighten just the slightest around you.  

“Do you think it hurts?”

“To die?”

You nod.

“By your hands, probably. You’re pretty nasty with that knife of yours.”

You let out a short laugh, though it’s hollow since the heavy feeling in your chest is still there. “I don’t want to die like this Minho. Not here. Not doing this.”

“You won’t, sweetheart, I promise.”

“I don’t want you to die either.”

There is a lapse of silence where you know Minho is thinking of what to say. “Let’s try to sleep,” he says finally.

“Promise me.”

But instead of replying, Minho’s soft humming filters into your ear. “Sleep.”

Just as you drift off, you hear his voice, but you only catch a few words that don’t make sense.

“…out. I promise.”

You hope he’s promising to stay alive.

None of the other members under the big man ever show up at your place because there was never any reason to. If anything, everyone congregated at Changbin’s place because it was huge. So when you stumble into the kitchen at 6 a.m. and find Seungmin on his way out and Chan and Minho talking in hushed voices over now cold mugs of shitty coffee, your brain immediately tells you that something is wrong.

“Why are you two here? Why was Seungmin here?”

Chan looks guilty for a moment but then masks his face with indifference. “Just to ask how you are. But guessing from that greeting, you’re great.”

“Thanks.”

Chan gives Minho a look, to which Minho gives him a small nod, and Chan turns back to wave. “I’ll leave now since I know you can walk.” He sees himself out.

You’re confused, so to settle on staring at Minho, who’s gripping his cold mug with tight fingers and refusing to meet your eyes. “What were you three talking about?”

“It’s nothing. They owe me a favor.”

“Oh. What’s happening?” You plop down in the previously occupied seat and sniff at Chan’s abandoned coffee.

“Just planning some stuff in advance. You know, in case something happens and no one’s there to take care of my wonderful sweetheart.” He gives you a teasing smile and tickles the bottom of your chin lightly. His words are joking but his face looks pinched, like he’s in pain.

“What’s wrong? Why would you suddenly talk about that?” You take a tentative sip and sputter on the bitter liquid. “This shit’s terrible!”

Minho laughs.

He never answers your question.

It was probably the near-death experience you just went through and how fresh those scars were that made this so much more painful than it should have been. So this was how he felt. The confusion, the frustration, the fear.

But there was nothing you could do but sit and wait. You’re sitting with your back pressed against the mirrors of the gym, facing the door and waiting for the knob to turn and for Minho to just come back and be alive. The thirty minutes you went through before feels like nothing in comparison to this. This was pure torture, worse than the aching pain that shoots through your body whenever you move too quickly.

It’s been hours. Even if he came back now, there was no way you’d be eating tonight. Minho would either be too tired or sore to cook and with only one arm, you had a better chance of setting the house on fire before anything. The growling of your stomach makes waiting all that much worse.

“Y/n? Are you here?”

You jerk, eyes snapping open. “Fuck. Chan?”

Chan gives you a lopsided smile that’s meant to be comforting but there’s panic in his eyes. “Hey, can you come somewhere with me?”

“I’m waiting for Minho.”

Chan looks torn but there’s still panic set in his eyes and now it’s definitely making you worried too.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just come with me okay? For Minho,” he says quickly.

“For Minho? What?”

Chan approaches you and picks you off the ground like you weigh nothing. “Don’t ask. It’s for Minho.”

“But I have to wait for him to come back. Chan, put me down!”

In the next thirty minutes, you learn where Chan lives.

In the next two hours, you learn that the nightmares are worse when Minho isn’t around.

In the next day, you learn what freedom feels like.

In the next week, you learn what it’s like to have your entire world fall apart.

There’s something about how the bed feels too big and how your chest feels too empty that makes sleep so much harder to come.

Chan left three days ago to try to find any traces left behind. You wanted something to hold onto, even if it was just a shred of his shirt or even his broken body.

Your nightmares were different now. They weren’t strangers anymore, it was all Minho. Glossy-eyed, not breathing, dead Minho.

The same Minho who made up a stupid plan with Chan and Seungmin to get you the freedom wanted so badly, even if it was at the cost of his own fucking life.

The same Minho who got himself killed so you wouldn’t have new faces plaguing your nightmares.

The same Minho who went through a painful death so you wouldn’t have to.

You just wanted your best friend back. To see his dumb smile and hear his stupid laugh. You wanted to hear that goddamn name come from his lips, even if you hated it with a passion. You would give up anything in the world to hear it now, to hear those three reassuring words that he uttered after bursting in through the gym doors every single time.

I’m back, sweetheart.

[dangeroustimemachinehologram]

Diary of Joanna weirdest time in her life-story

Hi!! I’m Joanna and I'm a nurse in a local hospital. I live in Cracow, Poland. I'm 33 years old. I live a little apartment near the city centre and this is my diary:

Thursday 17th October 2024.

I woke up late as I had long shift yesterday. Its 10:30 and it's still dark. I don't know what is going on. I can hear thunder and some other weird noises in the background. Sometimes they are close, sometimes they are even closer.

Its afternoon already: Some light comes out - The thunder had stopped and the other weird noises have calmed down. In the news they said that it was just bad weather conditions. It has never so dark this late in afternoon before.

It's evening now. Nothing really happened in the last few hours. I don't have any more shifts this week. I'm doing nights next week and I'm back on Tuesday. I hope everything will be ok. I will just watch some movie, have some dinner and some wine; then I will go to bed. Long shifts wear me out.

Friday 18th October

It’s 3 AM. Some very scary noises from outside woke me up. I have never heard anything like that before. I am honest to God terrified! What this can be? I'm not going to check right now. It's too dark; I'm too tired and too scared.

It’s 3 PM. I just woke up. I had to be really tired. Waking up in the middle the night really didn't help. I had a shower and something to eat. Was very hungry! I just came back from a town. Everything looks empty, but the shops were still open. I know I left home late. Just to remind shops are open till late here! What is going on??? Where are people who usually been out? Some people still should do shopping after work etc. Like later in a day. But still I did shopping in 24 h off-licence shop. Person behind till knew nothing. He just was enjoying quiet evening shift. After dinner I try to watch TV Shows but I can't. The power keeps going out and I keep hearing weird noises outside. Sometimes they are far away and other times they are close. I will try to record them. Looked out, record noises and whatever happening outside. All I could catch it, are the noises. Can't see nothing from a window and I won't go out now. It's too late, too dark and too tired. I will go to bed and may try to read a book before sleep. Saturday 19th October It’s Saturday already. Like 9 in the morning. Seems like I fell asleep while I reading book. I really had to be tired or the book had to be really boring. At least I slept all night and I don't feel tired any more. It's really afternoon. I just left my apartment. It’s middle of the day. And big city as Cracow shouldn't look so empty. But it is looks like a ghost city. The shop I’ve been yesterday for a shopping is closed now. It is weird, very weird. Am I dreaming or did I wake up in different dimension? Someone has to be around. But I can't hear a single frigging thing or see anyone! Only saw few pets. They looked ok to me.  A person just ran by on me on a street. He gone by the time I got chance to talk to him. I will try going the way he runs. Walked like half hour. Saw some people in their flats. Couple ask me to go home. They said at night I came back from my last shift, something happened that people are afraid to leave. Some people keep seeing a flashing blue lights at night from a streets. It wasn't police or anything like that. I'm home few hours now. I had some food. Try find out what is going on. TV signal is going off all the time. On the internet you can't see much. Apart some people posting pictures and videos of this weird blue lights and some strange humanoid looking things. What or who are they? No signs of activity outside. Come to think of it, that I never heard of a gunshot so close to my apartment. I lock myself in the apartment, close windows and curtain and try to stay alert to any strange and dangerous activity. At least there were no more blue light here. Sunday 20th October I must to fell asleep. But I didn't feel tired. I just called my boss and booked 2 weeks of. Need rest and holiday. Over tired doctor or nurse isn't very useful one. I really need it. I just looked outside and it's absolutely grey. It's the biggest fog I ever saw. There is a guy, he has been standing completely still and I can see only his back. I have no idea how long he has been standing there. WHO IS HE???!!! Why is he standing there? What does he want? He really creeping me out.....!!!! Few hours later and he is still standing there. SHIT. Should I be worried? Hiding in my room and waiting when this end and see how this will end. I had a food and looked outside. Whoever was standing outside is gone now. I swear to God it sounds like someone is banging outside of my door, but there is no way in hell I'm going to check or open the door. And the blue lights started flashing outside. This is really, really creepy. But is this lights and knocking has anything to do with this guy who was standing outside building earlier on???? I'm manage scare him off. See him running away from a window. But the lights are still there. I'm worried now. I’ve got to stop falling asleep so much in worst moments. I need set my mind to keep myself save. I need to get serious about securing my house. I'm running low on food and I feel like I could sleep for a week. What can I do??? I need to sort this shit out, and do a shopping, lol. Monday 21st October Just woke up. It's 7 in a morning. It’s early in a day for once. I will try having shower first. It's 10 am. I had some cheese and tomato toast. But I am not going anywhere. I am too scared. Just my neighbours called me. They manage get some stuff from one of the shops. Because they have car, they thought to bring me few bags of shopping. I offered them money back. They refused. That is nice and weird of them. This shopping must to cost them fortune. But it is still nice of them for bringing me. It really helps. They are very nice people. Just been sitting and thinking. Whatever is happening in a last few day doesn't since normal. Am I dreaming, going crazy? It has to be....!!! This isn't real..... Just came back from a walk to clear my mind. I feel better now. I’m glad to have some food in a fridge. I’m planning have some food, wine and watch some DVD. This will cheer me up. Tuesday 22nd October I think I need my clear head. Tiredness and stress can make anyone paranoid, but why don't my parents answer phone. I think if I won't be able hold on to them I will go and visit them. At the end of the day they should be back home now. They went to Slovakia for a holiday. I'm glad they enjoy themselves, yet I worry about them, mostly, if I can't get in touch with them. I’ve been on Wawel castle. Just walk around. I wasn't inside to see anything really. Just sit in a cafe, walk around. I love the place because of the history, lots of legends etc. 100% my kind of place. I enjoyed the day. I also made myself nice lasagne today for tea. Wednesday 23rd October It's early in a morning. All night couldn't stop think about legends around Wawel and in my dreams they was fading in with what is going on around me. Also what didn't help is fact that lights came back. And I heard very weird noises outside building. But I am not sure what was real and what a dream was. Started have weird dreams. They were connected to my trip from the other day..... And some connected to legends about Wawel I think. Need to put it into words, put it on paper. Never had weird dreams like that before........ There you go: I was in a pub. Old style pub... like really old... And there were a guy who was talking to deathclaw style of crater... And then this guy could fly out of window on a chicken or something... And then I saw a big army coming out of Mountain and heading into a Wawel. It is like they are getting ready for war or something. And then I was visited by angels where I became a queen. And then was this dragon flying on a sky. And in my castle was this magical and powerful stone. That was bizarre. ****(explanation what legends are there on the end) Wonder what this dreams meant. I know they came from legends... Still weird... Thursday 24th October Nothing happened last night. Stayed home, Spoke to neighbours I had rest and feel better. Its feel like what happened was a dream. I keep having weird dreams....... It is few hours later and its middle of the night. I just heard yelling, but this time it sounded like the person was in agony..... It's just quiet now. The blue light is still here again Friday 25th October .I left the apartment. I'm trying my best to stay calm as I write this, but I think there is a dead body in the middle of the street. To take my mind off of what is outside, I dug deeper into the piles of books to read. Just look outside. The body is just gone. Didn't see what happened to it, but it's not in the street anymore. Saturday 26th October I am going to check on my parents. I’m leaving my diary up till Monday. Have some quality time with them, I hope. Monday 28th October Spent all weekend at my parents house. They weren't there. I'm worried. Police don't know anything. They saying they will have to looking to it in some time. Just get back home and realized that someone broke to my apartment. Also found blood by an entrance. What the hell is going on? I'm scared.... I don't know what to do..... My neighbours don't answer the door, my parent are missing. Most things are closed down.... I thought this was only a dream but this nightmare is getting worse..... I heard a gunshot...... I should leave how soonest I can..... It's not safe here. I will go to family holiday house in Koscielisko. It's town close to Slovakia border. If anything I could move to another country. I don't know what to do but this is an option. I'm packed. I’ve got all food, drinks, toiletries and most of the clothes. Everything is in a car. I’m ready to hit the road. I should be there 2-3 hours. It's almost 11. House looks fine and cosy. Its looks like my parent were here not long ago. But when I try to contact them on a cells and landline no one answers. Why they don't answer? Tuesday 29th October It's 11 am .I woke up to my mobile ringtone.  My parents just called me. They just came back from Slovakia. At least they fine. Couldn't get in touch with them cause they lost one mobile they had with them. Other phone has been hidden in their House for some reason. They've been in by my apartment. Saw blood outside a block. Place looked empty for them. They've been worried about me. There is something going on. I think I stay here and have some short holiday. Bit rest might be good for me and it seems to be safe. Wednesday 30th October It's 7 am. I had a nice day yesterday. I just am having rest today. Bit food and wine. DVDs and a good night long sleep. Time for breakfast and shower!!!!! Keep having these weird dreams. They always look similar every time. It's 12. I just tried to have dinner. But I just saw something outside. It really looked creepy. Maybe it's only a lost, scared bear or something. I lock myself in and call someone for help. Shit, no signal. Oh dear god... This isn't a bear or anything I saw in my life. I'm shaking.... This is something between big foot and Reptilian humanoid..... It's really scary.... Have big red glaring eyes.... make bear like sounds...... And.... and.... and this weird light from my apartment started here.... and it's like middle of the day... what cans I do....?. What to do.....? I need hide... I need hide right now.... Ok. I'm in a closet, in a bedroom. I'll wait.... I hear sirens.... and scream.... and growling..... And.... and.... I heard the gunshot. There someone start shooting. There's a hope for me.... large scream and gone quiet now... I hear knocking on the door... See what's going on... It was a police. Someone else manage to contact them and let them know it's some kinda dangerous creator acting suspicious on this property. It's dark now... How long I've been hiding out? I've done some research on the internet. I'm not a first person who met this type of "animal". Apparently some group of crazy scientist was running illegal experiments in "bunker" hidden labs where they've been inbreeding 2-3 different type animals together. For example: monkey, bear and lizards etc. But also try to make them smarter...!!! WTF!!! WTF!!!! Is this a reason what is going on in my county in a last couple of weeks? Is it a reason for gunshots and blood, and lights and this illness.......???? Why.....??? Where they had funds from....? How they manage hidden for so long......? Saw on the news a lot of reports from other people who manage to record them on their cells..... Is this an end of the world...?? It's like 3 in the morning.... I can't sleep.... I'm absolutely scared, tired and.... don't know anymore.... Thursday 31st October HALLOWEEN I must to past out on sofa last night. TV was on when I woke up. It's like 2 pm. Had really creepy dream..... I was in the middle of main market in Cracow. I was on my own.... It was like crazy foggy... couldn't see properly. And then lots and lots of zombies and this freaky inbreeding "animal" come from nowhere.... and when they try attack me... I woke up... Thank God my parents picking me up... It wasn't safe home but not ask dangerous as here... I'm home.... don't feel safe.... but glad to be home... Glad that my parents are fine....   Halloween parties etc. been cancelled for a safety and people been advised stay home after dark and be careful in a day... I'm not leaving my apartment any time soon.... I'm telling ya..... Nothing really happened today.... I will try to have rest now.... I had weird dreams from the other night maybe 2-3 times after that. It is not exactly same but very similar. They are very bizarre. What are they mean????? 1st January 2025 HAPPY NEW YEAR

***** Legends in the order they came in a dream: Polish legends include: plenty of angelic characters, but also a great number of devilish ones. One of the best-known devils in Polish legends is the one that signed a pact with the 16th-century nobleman Sir Twardowski. According to the contract, the devil provided the nobleman with great wisdom and magical powers in exchange for his soul. However, a key stipulation stated that Twardowski’s soul could only be collected in Rome. That allowed the cunning nobleman to exercise his special powers without ever having to pay the price – as long as he avoided the Eternal City. On one day, the devil tricked Twardowski into visiting an inn… An inn called none other than Rome. That was when the party ended for Sir Twardowski: a confrontation with the devil ensued and as a result the nobleman became stranded on the moon forever. The Devil Lands on the Moon in Sci-Fi Movie Based on Polish Legend Twardowsky, a brand new release by Oscar-nominated director Tomasz Bagiński, revolves around a nobleman who signs a deal with the Lord of Darkness...on a lunar base. 1890 drawing is titled Rozmowa Twardowskiego z Diabłem (Twardowski Talking With the Devil) and is the work of the Polish draughtsman Michał Elwiro Andriolli, author of numerous illustrations for Polish literary works, such as Józef Ignacy Kraszewski’s Stara Baśń (Old Fairy Tale). Here’s another depiction of a Polish legend that revolves around knights and an angel – the legend of the sleeping knights. According to this tale, there’s a secluded cave in Mount Giewont in the Tatra Mountains, where a band of armour-clad knights rests in eternal sleep, waiting for a time when Poland will be in need of their services. The knights are guarded by an angel who is always ready to inform them whether that time has arrived. One of the legend is about the beginnings of the Polish state. This tale goes that the humble wheelwright Piast was visited by mysterious travellers on the day of his son’s first haircut. Piast was celebrating this important family occasion with some friends. According to legend, Ziemowit would go on to become the great grandfather of the first historical ruler of Poland, Mieszko I, who lived in the 10th century. The Wawel Dragon was a beast which lived in a den under Wawel Hill and terrorised all the inhabitants of King Krak’s town. They had to feed to the monster by giving him offerings of cattle, while other tales speak of that hellspawn eating nothing but virgins. No knight could vanquish the monster, until a young shoemaker Skuba outsmarted the Dragon. He stuffed a ram’s hide with sulphur and pitch, and put the doctored ram in front of the Dragon’s Den. The monster caught the bait and devoured the ram. Immediately, he felt a bad pain and burning in the throat. To quench his thirst, the Dragon started to drink from the Vistula River. However, as water cannot extinguish burning sulphur, the gases produced by the fires inside him made the beast explode. All the townsfolk revelled in the news and the heroic shoemaker was properly rewarded. To commemorate the vanquishing of the Dragon, Bronisław Chromy designed a sculpture of the beast which now stands by the river at the foot of Wawel, near the Dragon's Den. Though the legend may be controversial, it simply states that hidden in Wawel is a Chakra: a mysterious stone which is a source of supernatural energy. For the initiated it is a source of unspeakable power, giving unbelievable spiritual force. The legend refers to a tale of the Hindu god Shiva who cast seven magical stones  (the Chakram) into seven parts of the world. One of them was to hit Kraków, while the remaining six reached Delhi, Mecca, Delphi, Jerusalem, Rome, and Velehrad. The partisans of the legend speak of radiesthetic research that proves that the Chakra lies in the remnants of the 11th-century chapel of St Gereon. Others believe that there is a source of negative ions, which generally help relaxation, somewhere under the western wing of the castle.

[justoneday-namjoonii]

Di piano e forte 05

pt. 1 ↠  pt. 2 ↠ pt. 3 ↠ pt. 4 ↠ pt. 5 ↠ pt. 6

↠Summary: Piano; A keyboard of cypress, played with soft and loud. Was it the ivory and onyx keys that let you escape from your reality…Or was it the man with sable hair and ivory skin.

↠Genre: Angst, fluff.

↠Warnings: This fic contains slight domestic and verbal abuse as well as mature subjects. Sexual assault. Mentions of depression. This may be triggering, read with caution.

author’s note: I decided to turn this into something a little more angsty, in couldn't resist lol I hope you enjoy.  Updates for this series on Thursday or Friday, enjoy!

You panted heavily, stretching your arms and holding your hands behind your head to give your lungs a break. The sun hadn't risen yet. You liked to jog early in the morning, to avoid the pounding heat of the sun. Mom always says exercise is a good way to take time for yourself, but you're using it as an outlet to escape from what's been going on. Your brother hasn't been home for a week now and you couldn't help but get worried—well, you were relieved and worried. The house was peaceful; but sad and even depressing. 

You were ashamed to admit how bad you've been emotionally eating. When you got home from work you went straight for the sweets, or you wouldn't eat at all. When you were at school you were getting by on boba teas. But this week you made the decision to get yourself together, eat better, exercise and even sleep more. It was making a difference, somewhat. After this you had a doctors appointment, your body pains have gotten better so you were hoping you could get off of the pills soon.

The bridge crossing the lake was just as beautiful as it was at night, it looked so poetic in a way. It was the kind of place friends should go to walk and talk about their innermost feelings and joys. When your dad was still living he'd take you and your along with him to walk around the city. The packed train station was a place to look for adventure, pick a place to stop and your adventure begins. The pictures in my distant memories were perfect—the current me was an image, a moment where loneliness had stopped time. No one would know how lonely you were. You didn't even know.

I drove back home, eager to get to the shower.

You walked up to the counter, handing the nurse your papers. “Hi, I'm here for the 8:45 appointment with Dr. Lu.”

“Ok, I'll check you in. You can have a seat.” She went to her computer and you went to wait in the tiny waiting room.

A few minutes went by and they called you to the back. 

“Hello Miss. Y/LN. How are you?” He came in, smiling with his usual clipboard and coat.

“Hi,” You sat down, holding your purse in your lap, “I'm good, and you?”

“I'm great.” He looked over his papers and sighed. “So, how are your body pains? Has the medicine helped?”

“Yeah, my shoulders still get to me when I'm really stressed but other than that they've been pretty good. I was wondering if I should keep taking them, you know? I just don't want my body to become dependent on it...it kind of makes me depressed, I shouldn't have these problems, I'm so young...”

He nodded his head for a few seconds before sighing. “Well, it's not fibro myalgia so that's good. And you can get body pain for a number of reasons, it's not always age. But you told me that sometimes your almost in tears from the pain, I do want you to live comfortably. I will prescribe the same pain killers and you can pick them up at the drug store.”

“Thank you Dr. Lu, I really appreciate.” He opened the door and you bid him farewell. When you got to the front desk the nurse gave you the prescription and you thanked her.

You left with your purse on your shoulder and the prescription in hand. You couldn't have been more lonely right now. With heavy steps you walked to the bus station and sat on the bench. 

When the bus finally pulled up you used your coins to pay before walking to your usual spot, leaning your head against the glass. 

“Ok ma'am, we'll have it out in a second.” The pharmacist went to the back to get the medicine. As you waited you saw a familiar head of hair in the isle behind you, you tried to lean back and see who it was but right when you went back the person left and they handed you the medication.

“Here you go.”

“Thank you.”

You paid for it and went on your way. 

“Here.” Yoongi tossed the wrist brace on Namjoons lap.

“Thanks Hyung.” 

“I don't know how you sprained your wrist cleaning the bathroom.” He laughed, Namjoon just shrugged.

He sniffed. “Hyung...” Namjoon gave Yoongi a knowing look before sighing. “Are you smoking again? You only smoke when your reevaluating your life or some shit like that.” Namjoon sat next to him on the couch, fastening the wrist brace.

“It's nothing, really.” He shrugged.

“Is it your mom?” He saw Yoongi’s expression bo blank, that's what it was. “It is isn't, what happened Yoongi, is she okay?”

He sighed. “Her and my dad are still legally married, he's in a relationship right now so he's trying to divorce her.” He rested his head in his hands as his elbows rested on his knees. “He's fucking sick. He knows she's under his health care, if that stops I don't know how she'll be able to stay at rehab.” 

“Can't she get help from the government? You know, like government assistance.”

“Yeah, but they'll just give her more shitty drugs and put her in a group home, to rot. Where she is now is much better for her recovery, it's expensive but she's getting better and at least I know she's safe there.” Yoongi was hiding it well but Namjoon could sense how upset he was. He was always worried about her, regardless of her troubled past. When he was at his piano late at night, thinking Namjoon wasn't awake, he wept. Those black and white keys were coated in his tears, he'd bang on the keys and shout in a drunken fit when he was really upset. He never remembered doing it though, he'd wake up with a bad hangover, not knowing the things he'd done the night before.

“I have to talk to him...I'm stalling though.” He sort of chuckled, he hated talking to that unreasonable man.

“You know I'm here, I'll do anything I can to help.” He gave his shoulder a comforting pat before he left. “I'll be at the studio if you need me.”

When Namjoon closed the door Yoongi leaned back on the couch, what was he gonna do? He only wanted what was best for her. He couldn't visit her often and when he did he had to prepare himself, mentally. She used to have a bad addiction when he was a kid, she got a hold of the wrong prescriptions and her life went downhill from there. She had never been more disappointed in her self, she blamed herself for all of Yoongi’s problems. That guilt alone ate her from the inside out. Just recently is when she started to learn how to forgive herself, except that he forgives her.

“Y/N! We're still waiting on those sandwiches!” 

“I'm sorry! They're coming out.” You were using the panini press to make what seemed the hundredth sandwich today. You were struggling to get the food finished so instead of looking for the things you tried to grab it with your hand. 

“Agh!” You hissed, there were now red grill marks on your hand. You threw the sandwiches on the plate and sat the food in the window. I'm done. You've been here since 9:30 and it's going on 7 o'clock. You ran to the sink to rinse off your burn. When you went to the front one of your coworkers asked if you could help with the ice teas.

“There's a peach black tea and- Oh my God, what happened to your hand?” 

Instinctively, you tried to hide it. “I-it's nothing, just a little burn.” You tried to play it off like it was nothing, even though it felt like your skin was boiling.

After the last cup of tea, you could finally leave, you got your bag, took off your apron and you went on your way.

It was drizzling outside so you ran to the bus stop, trying to shield your face from the relentless drops. There was a slight breeze in the air and you caught a whiff of smoke, you coughed a little looking for the source. You looked back and saw a pretty pale hand resting outside of a car window, skin of that color could only belong to one person you knew of.

Min Yoongi. He must've seen you too because he was letting down the passenger's side window. “Hey.” He took a long drag of his cigarette before putting it out. You never would've guessed he smoked, then again you never really know how people are or what they do when you're not around.

“Hi.” You held your hand above your head, trying to keep the rain from getting on your face

“Are you taking the bus?”

You nodded, pushing the strands of hair behind your ear with squinted eyes.

“You'll be waiting for a while, come on. I'll take you home.” He leaned over to open the door as you scurried over.

“Thanks.” You sighed, putting on your seat belt. 

When you looked over at him, you could tell there was something different about him. You weren't sure what it was, you just knew there was something off. You two sat there for a while, he was on his phone and you just waited patiently for him to pull off.

“What happened to your hand?” He suddenly pointed to the grill like marks on the back of your hand. 

“It's from the panini press.” You answered simply, licking your lips as you noticed how dark it had become.

"It looks painful.” He commented without actually looking at it. You just nodded. The drive was sort of awkward because of the obvious elephant in the room. The two of you hadn't talked in almost two weeks, you haven't had any piano lessons from him and he hasn't offered. But now he's driving you home—he actually remembered where you lived. He took all the right turns but of course ran into the usual traffic.

“So, are we gonna talk about it?” Yoongi asked suddenly, saying what you had been thinking about this whole time. You relaxed when he stopped at the red light, his attention, for the first time, undivided and on you. To his disdain you just shook your head, maybe he wanted a more in-depth answer but you didn't feel the need to give one. You're both adults and it was a little kiss. It shouldn't have consumed your thoughts like it did. He took a deep breath before sighing once again—he does that a lot you've noticed. “Do you still want lessons...” 

“Um...yeah, I still want to learn...” You cleared your throat, the smell of smoke still lingered in the car. It was hard to really look at him. His appearance had changed since the last time you saw him. His eyes were darker, his hands were paler and he looked tired. The last time you saw him you two had kissed in the rain, that wasn't something you just do with anyone. It was so impulsive and out of character of him, he didn't know what he was acting on. It could've been desperation, neediness, he could've been compelled by the desire of physical touch, he really didn't know. You kind of blame yourself for making the relationship so casual, you were the one who asked him on a date. Who does that to their piano teacher?

When he pulled up to your house you were both equally shocked to see the parking lot full of cars. He's back, you thought. The sound of laughter and music was an indicator that Jaebum was having a party.

“Sorry to bother you but, do you have any aspirin?” Yoongi looked to you with the tilt of his head. “I have the worst headache.”

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure we have some. I'll bring you one.” You got out and went up the stairs with your key in hand.

You didn't want to go in there. The horrid smell of body odor and alcohol was never something you were fond of. You pushed the key in the lock and opened the door slowly, you could already smell the marijuana and beer wafting in the air.

There were a bunch of people, you didn't even know he knew so many people. To get out of this suffocating environment you immediately went to your room, glad you decided to lock it before leaving this morning. You could hear Jaebum shouting nonsense, he was drunk, as expected. You quickly closed your room door and went to your bathroom.

“Aspirin, aspirin...” You searched through your medicine and you couldn't find any. You were gonna text him but quickly you remember you left your bag in his car. You were about to leave your room but you heard someone walk in, you froze.

One of Jaebums friends.

“Y/N, I thought Jaebum said y- you were gone?” He was either high or drunk—but probably both.

You ignored him, hoping he'd let you pass by without a problem. Judging by the look on his face he wasn't intending on letting you leave anytime soon.

“Excuse me.” You tried to walk past him but he grabbed you but the shoulders and pushed you back.

“What the hell?! Move!” Demanded, getting angrier and angrier by the second. 

“Why don't we close the door and a have some fun?” He closed the door behind him and stalked towards you. “I've always had my eyes on you, you know that? You may be annoying but your fine as hell.” He was already right in front of you—your heart was beating out of your chest in fear.

“Don't do this.” That didn't sound as confident as you intended. He pushed you on the bed, trying to pin you down as you flailed violently.

“Get off! I- I don't want this!” You cried.

“What's taking her so long?” He put out his cigarette. You've been up there's for almost five minutes, how long doesn't it take to find some aspirin. He decided he'd go up there and see if you were ok, it wasn't like you to just not sat anything. When he got upstairs he didn't bother knocking, the door was open. Some hoe saw him when he walked in and strolled over. 

“What's your name?” She walked over with a red solo cup in her hand.

He just walked away, not bothering to actually give her the time of day. He navigated through the groups of people to get to your bedroom, he knocked.

No answer.

Your light was on so you were in there, did you not hear him. He knocked again. “Y/N? Hey, I don't need the aspirin, it's okay if you don't have it.”

Yoongi? Thank God.

“Yoongi!” Your shouting was muffled by the hand over your mouth. “H-help-” You couldn't get out a coherent call for help.

“Who the hell is that?” He frowned. He didn't wait for a response, he was quickly attempting to undress you and you barely had the strength to push him. No, no, no...you were squirming and he kept squeezing your arm, eliciting bloodcurdling cries from your mouth.

You bit his hand. “YOONGI!!” You screamed bloody murder, probably scaring the life out of your neighbors.

Yoongi immediately barged in to see you in tears underneath some lowlife, crying and kicking. “Get the fuck off of her! You piece of shit!” Yoongi ripped him off of you and they were tussling on the floor. When the guy stood up Yoongi punched him, causing him to fall back almost instantly.

“What the hell?” Jaebum walked in, looking at Yoongi, then at you, then one of his best friends.

“The fuck?” Jaebum narrowed his brows. “Is this your boyfriend Y/N?”  

You were too busy trying to situate your clothes and wipe your tears to answer him. It was pissing Yoongi off the way Jaebum totally disregarded the obvious situation you were in.

“Y/N fucking talk.” He raised his voice at you but you only got up to go to the bathroom and clean yourself up.

“Hey! I'm talking to you!” He ran over and yanked you back by the arm, you winced. 

You were in a lot of pain and you could barely cry out anymore.“No! Stop-”

Yoongi pulled you behind him. “Don't you fucking touch her.” You ran into the bathroom, leaving your brother and Yoongi in a stare off. 

“Who the fuck are you? Her damn guardian angel or something? What makes you think you can go around knocking out my friends?” Jaebum pushed Yoongis chest, challengingly him.

“It's none of your damn business. That son of a bitch was literally assaulting her, your own sister! Did you not fucking see her!? That friend of yours doesn't have respect worth shit.” Some noisy people came to crowd at the door and Jaebum was livid, Yoongi was exposing him in front of everyone. Humiliating him more and more by the second.

“You're one cocky bastard to come into my house talking shit. If she was about to get screwed then she had it coming. And we’re not blood, it's step-sister.” Jaebum had absolutely no sympathy for you, his own family was like nothing to him.

“Fuck you!” Yoongi threw a punch so hard, he will have that bruise for months. He opened your bathroom door, seeing you crying at the sink. Without a word he grabbed your hand, dragging you out of this hell hole.

“Y-yoongi...wait-” You struggled to get it out. Inevitably you gave up trying to explain, you followed him to his car with your head down. You got in the passenger's side and he drove off.

“You're staying over my place tonight.” That's all he said.

He had to be going at least 15 miles over the speed limit.

His jaw was clenched tight, his grip on the steering wheel was like iron. You couldn't imagine what he might be thinking, you looked at him again. He's never looked better than he did right now, why was that? You couldn't figure it out, maybe there was something about his eyes, they were so focused.

There were dry tear stains on your face, your hair was a mess and you could feel the bruises from where that guy had hit you. Yoongi pulled into a driveway, turned off the car and got out. You watched him walk around so he could open your door. You grabbed your backpack, following him to the front door. When he opened it up to you shyly walked in.

“Hyung?” Namjoon walked out of his room. “I thought you were-” 

“Y/N is staying the night.” Yoongi waved to his roommate and you tried to shield your face as you scurried behind him. Namjoon saw you though, there were hundreds of scenarios running through his head.

Yoongi turned on his room light and went to his drawers. He had a very tidy room. “Here.” He handed you a t-shirt and some sweat pants. “They'll be a little big but they're still comfortable; this room gets cold at night anyway.”

“Oh- I can sleep on the couch, really...I don't mind...” You swallowed thickly, standing nervously. 

He ignored your suggestion and rubbed the back of his neck. “My bathroom is right there.” He pointed before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

He walked to the kitchen, grabbed a beer and went to the couch. 

“What happened?” Namjoon walked over, it was obvious he was upset.

“Huh...” He sighed. “Her brother is an asshole.” Yoongi took a swig of his drink.

“Can you elaborate?” Namjoon plopped down in the recliner.

“I drove her home from her job. When we got to her place her brother was home and he threw a party or whatever the fuck that tacky mess was. She went inside to get me an aspirin but she was taking forever, so I went to check on her...some guy was on her, she was crying and- I knocked him out. Her brother didn't even give a fuck either, the bastard said she had it coming. I wanted to kill him Joon...I really did.” He was calming down but the mere thought was still disturbing—infuriating.

“Wow, that's a lot to take in...is she okay?” Namjoon looked at Yoongi’s closed door.

“I think so, I dragged her out of her room and told her she was staying here tonight, I guess I probably should've asked but it wouldn't have been safe to leave her there.” He shook his head, tilting up his bottle to take another gulp.

You cracked open his room door and peeked out. He kind of smiled when he saw you with his clothes on. The pants were far too big for you, his long sweats and shirt engulfed your small frame.

“Hi Namjoon," You greeted him, "Um, Yoongi, I really don't mind taking the sofa...” 

“Take the bed Y/N, we're not arguing on this.” He walked past you, cracking the door behind him “I'm gonna shower real quick.” You sat on his bed as he got some clothes and went to the shower. 

When he opened the bathroom his hair was wet, his face was flushed and supple—he looked so soft and young. 

“Are you okay? I'm sorry about what happened...” He said standing at the door, drying his hair.

“I don't know what to do anymore, Yoongi...I can't tell my mom, it'll only make her upset, she's been through too much. But he's always like that to me, it really hurts, you know? B- But none of his friends have ever-...and he didn’t try to stop him...” You held back your tears. His heart was breaking, he was angry at himself and that guy, your situation was so sad and he really couldn't do anything about it.

“I'm sorry.” He sat beside you, he didn't know what to say. 

“It's not your fault...” You looked at him, twiddling your fingers like you always did when you were anxious. He grabbed your hand gently, squeezing it lightly.

“It’s not yours either. I just want you to know, you're safe here. If you need a place to stay you can always come here. I promise you, if it means you’ll sleep safely then I’m willing to give up my bed." You pressed your lips together, nodding slowly. Others think I can give everything, I think I can give everything but I can't. I've had a day that’s hard enough to let out at least a small sigh. Two gazes were looking at each other, but both gazes were entirely alone. Without much thought, you hesitantly leaned in to place a kiss on his lips. He responded naturally, opening wider to slip in some tongue. His lips—they were so cold, so why did it seem so warm? How could this feel just as right and perfect as the first time we've kissed. You were just melting into him, like ice. Frozen and silent. He held your hand tighter, sighing into you—he didn't want this moment to end. This was beautiful and his heart was so full, it was going to burst. Slightly he pulled away, out of breath. “Y/N...” He hugged you, but he couldn't feel you breathing. You were holding your breath, your chest tight with emotion and pain. 

He spoke softly. “It’s okay to run out of breath sometimes, no one will blame you...” You wrapped your arms around his neck, his arms wrapped around your torso. You couldn’t help it, tears were falling from your eyes as you took a deep breath and sighed heavily.

Now don’t think of anything else Let out a deep sigh Just let it out like that.

Though I can’t understand your breath

It’s alright, I’ll hold you

[twistedinthesun-blog]

I Love Turtles!

I want to share my experience of volunteering with Projects abroad in Mexico! Monday ...We got collected by the same person who picked us up from the airport and then he drove us to the bus station about 40 odd minutes in busy traffic. At the station he would buy our tickets and we met up with another mum (Kendra) and son (Harry 9 years old) who were also going on the trip, I was very pleased with this as my son had company and he was already more excited! Our driver left us and then we all got onto the coach and were told to get off at the last stop and to get comfy as we would be on this coach for over 5 hours :/ luckily it had air conditioning an nice seats and it wasn't your typical bus that you would imagine it to be like off films with all of us standing up holding on and swinging around sweating full of kids, goats, chickens, no sides, loud talking and Mexican hats lol. We had several stops at service stations where you could go to toilet buy something to eat etc. We finally arrived at our last stop and Paolo met us, we then all got into the van and he drove us to the beach house. It was absolutely stunning not modern more eco but still perfect being right on the beach. We met some of the team Jennha, etc and they showed us to our rooms, put down our stuff and then a little while later they showed us around, lunch was already there waiting for on the side we all had something to eat the food was delicious and cooked by a local whose husband worked for the group and his wife would cook fresh every day. It was so healthy and delicious. We also had fresh food in the fridge, tins etc in cupboards and sugar... but be careful an make sure you secure things as the ants will be in there for sure. They got into the sugar an cereal boxes and were everywhere the little naughty’s.  We sat outside on the bench by the beach and went over everything  we would be doing for the following week it was very exciting indeed. While we were getting our brief my son Jake and Harry were jumping in and out of the pool and living their best life! Later we went on a beach clean and all of us collected lots of rubbish on the beach after that we got back and relaxed, then Pablo an the team surprised us with our first hatchlings with Jake and Harry got to count and pick up the babies and place them onto the beach and we watched them go off into the ocean. What an experience to witness! We took as many videos and pictures as we could capture the moment but it is up there in our memory. Later that evening Amy my friend was on her first night patrol where she would luckily see two turtles laying her eggs, how wonderful to experience this on the first night. It was out of season too! She collected the eggs as to keep them safe back & they would take them back to the conservation camp away from poachers.  

The next day we woke up and had breakfast and have to all be in the van by 8 a.m. unfortunately that evening my son Jake had developed a fever which he could have got from sunstroke lots of travelling, food or perhaps a bite? So we had to stay home and I looked after him while the others went to the camp. I was very disheartened that this has happened but that is life. The next few days he was very ill. I managed one afternoon when he was sleeping, so I gave him meds an got to go with the crew and go on the riverboat and experience some wonderful birds fish crocodiles etc it was truly beautiful. We have to count how many birds we could see in one area to try and build up some data. Of course the lovely Jennah stayed at the beach house to be there to watch Jake, it was perfect timing as he awoke when I arrived back an mumma was ready to look after him again.   

On the third day (Wednesday) Paolo took me and Jake to the doctors as his temperature was still high and his throat was killing him and he was very weak. There and then they issued him an injection in his buttocks and it really hurt him but within an hour he felt great. In the injection was a potent mixture of antibiotics painkillers and something else, I wonder why we don't have this back in the UK obviously money reasons but it was amazing. As he didn't have to wait to feel better after days getting antibiotics. Over the next few days he did have to have other antibiotics and painkillers but he improved massively and then we could finally start to enjoy the experience.  On my first patrol I went out on the second night when my son was ill Amy looked after him, and unfortunately I didn't see any turtles laying eggs but we did witness a turtle and she was trying to do it, but couldn't it, was simply amazing on the quad bike going up and down the beach with all the glistening stars. I was looking up an in disbelief at how many more there were in the sky due to no city lights.  

Thursday - the day after the doctor's appointment we got up and we had breakfast and then we went to our first time to the turtle camp we had a little look around and we looked after the baby turtles they were super cute. We had to clean out there tanks, clean them with little toothbrushes, cleaned the tops of their shells and underneath and very gently on their heads. We then chopped up the veg and prepared the food for the iguanas, opened cage carefully & put the iguana food in the iguana containers. We then finished an went to help the others a little, they were cleaning the big turtle tanks. Work was finished by about 10:30am in the morning as the sun was starting to get hot so we headed back to rest and chill by the beach house. Bliss!  What chill was involved, well either lounging round the pool, or laying on the hammocks swinging left to right while watching an listening to the ocean & watching the birds flying. I'll never forget it! Paradise. Not a busy beach, just perfect. I hope that in the future they can protect more of the land around the turtle camp, beach and mangroves and make it as a national park to protect animals and humans can then respect the area and just visit but take their rubbish with them.  We took it in turns to go out on night patrols either near midnight or at 3am in the morning. Reason for this was to do with the times the turtles lay at this time of year & to do with the sea currents, moon etc. Jake & me went out together twice over the week, he absolutely loved the quad bike along the beach & we witnessed together a turtle laying & bearing her eggs, then we collected them by digging them out with our bare hands & counted them. over 100 ... wow! The eggs felt bendy, but they wouldn't brake easy, they were white in colour & not overly large. Similar to a ping bong ball. It was a truly special moment that  I will definitely remember forever. Especially very lucky to do this with my son!  

Friday - We had the job of cleaning out the large tanks & cleaning & moving the large turtles. This was a little bit more physical as we had to scrub the tanks with bleach and sweeping brushes and rinse out with water several times and then move the turtles, clean their large shells and their heads & fins gently. They were fairly heavily as they were older turtles so two of us had to do it, one would be at the front by its head and another person at the back to carefully slide them along. It was very difficult to lift them and they also don't like being lifted so we respected them. If a staff worker did this to make things faster, they would flap there fins an look annoyed lol.  

Friday afternoon - We moved the mangroves into the van & planted them near the other mangroves already there. I did not know a lot about them before this, but they are very important plants to the areas ecosystem, environment as well as a natural flood defence.We had to dig in the piping hot sun, which was physically hard, yet rewarding; Jake very much enjoyed whacking & digging the mud & chopping up twigs with the axe! I worked with my two friends today, Tina, Amy as well as Pablo & my son, and us girls got bitten alive by mosquitoes as they are always close to water & trees. In total I got bit 16 times in one hour! hahaha. However as it was low season for mosquitoes I was happy about this, as it could of been a lot worse & more of them round by our pool. Next to the mangroves there is a degraded palm tree farm, where the trees have been cut down which has caused the land to become dry and cracked. Also polluted water has been causing the land to become a purple colour. This has had an impact on the local ecosystem.

 Nearly every afternoon we had to incubate the eggs from the night before from the night patrols. This involves getting on our hands and knees, taking the sand from the bags in eggs putting it at the bottom of the container and then delicately load in the eggs in with a little gap in between each and then put in more sand in from the beach and doing it in layers. They would then take it back to the camp. But some mornings a certain animal would get in and eat the eggs. This was very frustrating for the team. This is a reason why I and Amy want to start a JustGiving page so they can have money go towards making a proper secure unit or cage for the incubated eggs and so the animal cannot get in.  Saturday - One of the last afternoons we had to move tons of sand with a shovel and the bucket was placed on top of the quad bike where one of the team members would drive that heavy load up to the top. This had to be probably the hardest job out there especially as we did it in the hot sun, and we needed to do it within an hour and we were falling down holes and nearly whacking each other with shovels lol. The reason for moving the sand was every few months they had to change it for the incubation, creating a new incubation area.  

Tuesday - Our day to leave camp, we hugged and waved goodbye to the team, then Pablo & Jennah drove us to get our tickets an bus purchased by projects abroad. This time took longer, about 6 lonnnnngggg hours. Jake was so tired, he slept most of the way. Think we were all tired. But my oh my, what a trip, what an experience! I would recommend this to anyone.  

Why recommend it to anyone? - life experience, learning different cultures, experiencing different food, different countries, meeting new people, working with amazing animals an having a taste of what a zoo keepers life is like, learning new skills & helping towards making the world a better place.  Since finishing Projects abroad & adjusting to the UK life again, I am eager to go away more in the future with or without my son or my friends & taking part in more of these fabulous trips. I am now a brand ambassador for the company & will be soon going to local school/college fairs & hopefully doing talks to share my experiences with you all.  

[purplesurveys]

520

What is your best talent? I’m gonna guess writing, since I get compliments on it and I fairly enjoy doing it.

Do you know anyone named Nicole? Nicole is a pretty popular second name in the Philippines but I don’t know anyone actually going by the name.

Have you ever had a true FML? I’ve been around 21 years and I’m pretty clumsy, so there’s been a handful. Just yesterday I was drinking milk tea when a pearl got stuck in my straw and I couldn’t drink any of the tea. I didn’t want to sip it in for fear of having the pearl lodged in my throat, so I did the opposite and blew air onto the straw. The milk tea exploded all over my face and my outfit lmao

Are you considering having children right now? Not right now, but I’d want a couple by the next decade or so.

Do you enjoy the darkness? Only when I have to sleep. Otherwise, the dark can trigger me to be sad and start thinking dark thoughts.

Are you afraid of being single? Well, where I am now, yes. I’m in a great place with Gab and I wouldn’t want to lose her.  But the idea of being single itself doesn’t bother me a lot - it just means more money to spend on myself hahaha.

Do you have a new boyfriend/girlfriend every week? Nope.

Are you good at deceiving others? Only when it comes to looking cheery when I’ve really been having an internal breakdown - I don’t like letting people in. But other than that, I’m awful at lying.

How much memory does your computer have? Just 120 GB. I don’t save a lot of stuff so I didn’t feel the need for storage space.

Do you play video games? Sometimes, and when I do it’s 1) easy, family-friendly games like those on the Wii, or 2) simply goofing around in open world games and not actually doing missions. I’m really bad at video games and have never finished one, so I never formed an attachment to them like others have.

What color are your eyes? Black.

Is your hair layered? Nah, I don’t think I’ve had it layered since I was 11.

What is the closest yellow thing to you? The blanket on me has yellow polka dots.

Do you believe in labeling others? Sure, but only if it’s based from personal experiences. The best example I could give you is labeling people I go to school with, and if they’re decent groupmates or just pain-in-the-ass freeloaders. I don’t like going any more personal than that, though; when I do ~label it’s just to look out for my own sanity.

Have you ever shot an animal? NO.

How do you feel about Judge Judy? I have never seen it and have no idea what it’s about.

Do you exercise daily? No, but I do have PE on Wednesdays and Fridays. How many months have you been alive? 257.

Can you do cool things with your hair? Nope. The most creative thing I can do with it is a bun. I don’t know how to do a braid and much less anything more creative than that. Do you have a couch in your house? Yeah. We bought an L-shaped couch fairly recently and it is everythinggggg. Would you like to have a soda machine in your room? No thanks, I hate soda.

Are you impatient? In most contexts, yeah. Would you pay someone to drive you around everywhere? Maybe not everywhere since I do know how to drive and enjoy it from time to time, but it would be nice to have this luxury especially if I have to go to places where I’d have to go through traffic. Do you think soap operas are too good to be true? I wouldn’t know, since I never watch/ed those. Are you conscious of your weight? I’m not conscious but I’m generally aware that I need to gain like 10 pounds. Have you ever jumped out of a window? No. Are you tolerant of pain? NOOOOOOOO I hate feeling pain. [Graphic] Currently I have a second-degree burn on the roof of my mouth because I stupidly bit on a freshly-cooked takoyaki last Monday (wasn’t able to spit it out cos I was in public and was stupidly more concerned about bystanders getting grossed out than my mouth getting burned). No skin left at all, just a big ass wound. I’ve had to skip meals and eat less because the pain is a BITCH and it has just been so uncomfortable and I get headaches from it and I want to cry. What kind of mood are you usually in? I don’t have a ‘usual’ mood. Do you feel like you can read others minds? I’m generally good at getting a feel of what they’re thinking of and how they are, but like I’m not anything close to being a mind reader lol. Do you have a webcam? It’s a part of my laptop. Do you finish other peoples sentences? Sometimes I tend to do that, but I realize it can be annoying so I avoid it. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I’m too lazy to count but 10-15 pairs seems like a safe guess. When is your birthday? April 21st.

Do you feel important where you’re at right now? Getting there. Are you short tempered? Yeah, a great deal. Do you cry when someone yells at you? Typically. My mom yelled at me a lot as a kid so I get very sensitive when anyone raises their voices at me. Have you ever been homeless? Nope. How many online accounts do you have? I have a lot, if we’re counting sites beyond social media. I’ve had to sign up for apps for classes, like Schoology; for alternative slide-making services like Canva; for other apps that I find useful, like Zomato. Do you drive through red lights? No, never. What sound puts you to sleep? Silence. As much as possible it has to be quiet; I don’t like white noise. I suppose the sound of rain and thunderstorms is soothing too. Are you a fast or slow reader? I’m pretty fast from all the years I spent reading as a kid. But it still depends - if I don’t like what I’m reading or if it’s an academic piece, I’ll have to slow down. Are you a good speller? Yes. Do you have a TV in your bedroom? Nope. I used to have one but I never used it so they gave it to my brother. How long can you go without sleeping? I usually put a limit at like 16-18 hours. Any longer than that and i start to get crankier. How long can you go without talking? I’m guessing fairly long? I have no problem with not talking, as an introvert. Do you currently have a job? No, I don’t. Do you tend to always be in some sort of drama? Nah I typically just watch from afar. Do you collect quarters from every state? We don’t have quarters and we don’t have states. How important is appearance in your life? Like, physical appearance? It’s pretty up there. I like having my hair neat and putting on a nice, matching outfit whatever the occasion. Are you any good at photography? No, not at all. I could never figure it out. I just take photos on my phone and hope it does the job well. Would you rather sleep all night or sleep all day? All day. I like being out at night. Do you hate getting up early? In general, yes, even if I’m waking up for something exciting like a vacation. Does it bother you when people use poor grammar? It used to, until I realized judging people for their grammar is a shitty thing to do especially if they aren’t fluent in the language they’re attempting to speak. I do draw the line at people trying to sound smart and coming off as an asshole - if they also happen to use poor grammar, that’s when I’ll find it funny. Could you see yourself being a bartender? No. I feel like I’d forget so many recipes and be so exhausted from having to be friendly with everyone.

Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? No. We had toxic tendencies in the beginning but 1) we’ve ironed it out since, and 2) I don’t think those tendencies immediately made the entire relationship toxic.

Are you currently tired? Nah, I just woke up and I’m looking to work on a bunch of homework today. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water, cos I chugged a loooot of Vietnamese coffee last night. Do you like to take walks? Not so much, but I’m learning to like them. I walked the entire Academic Oval in school last Thursday :) Have you ever had de ja vu? Yeah, many times. Are you a fan of anime? No. Do you draw a lot? I can’t draw, so no. Do you plan on going to college? I’m in college/university. Those mean the same thing here. Do you feel at home in your own home? Most days. Do you pay for your own cell phone bill? I’m on a prepaid plan, but no, my mom pays for my load. Do you really think that life’s what you make it? To a certain extent. There are some things that just happen to you and you can’t help it, unfortunately > Pretty much.

[sneakyhomunculous]

RPT Phoenix Report: Back to Back!

Part 2: The Tournament

 My flight is an early Thursday Morning (7AM) and arrives around 9:45 AM Phoenix Time. I was upgraded to First Class and the flight was smooth sailing.

I uber over to The Breakfast Club next to the Convention Center to eat, and then wander over to try and complete my deck.

I ordered most of the cards I needed ahead of time, but the few last-minute changes left me scrambling for a few cards. Luckily between a couple of the vendors I completed my deck no problem.

Unfortunately, registration is not until like 4PM and not a lot of my friends are in town yet.

Luckily, Tom Ross and Jarvis Yu show up and are looking for food. 2nd brunch it is.

We eat across the street at Majerle’s and when we walk back we realize people already have the signature PT PHOENIX Bags, so registration must be open earlier than we thought.

We go register and get our bags and I get in the que!

We quickly fire an 8 man with a nice group. I know I was feeding Hunter and my 2 Opponent’s were Kevin Jones and Ben Weinburg.

I drafted a Ru Deck that was wide open and 2-0 in some great games.

While they finish up the draft, I begin looking to book a massage.

I find a bunch of places around the Convention Center, but they are mostly like out-booking to your home/hotel type places.

I finally get an answer from this girl Katie, she can take me but not until 6:30 which is like almost 2 hours away. But I really want to get the massage and she had great reviews; booked!

I just wander around the site clowning for a few hours before leaving for the massage.

Katy was wonderful; one of the best massages I’ve had, and it was only 85$ (I’ve paid like 2-3x as much at nice hotel/spas etc. for much weaker massages).

 This is another big thing for me.

At any big event, especially Pro Tours, I try to be fully relaxed and rested to clear my mind and then once it starts,

I am thinking ONLY about the tournament.

I always try to see a movie/get a massage the day before and I like to eat nice filling dinner’s of exactly what I feel like.

When I walk out of the massage, I am looking for food and there is a spot called Dust Cutter in the building adjacent to me that looks like it has good reviews.

I notice Tom in the group saying he is just leaving the site, so he and Kevin end up meeting me at the restaurant.

I get this Arizona Cheese Crisp barbeque chicken pineapple thing, and it’s basically like in between a quesadilla and a flatbread/thin crust pizza and it was gassssy.

We Uber to our BNB and Tom loses the first game of the weekend lets goooooo.

We somehow find our place in a maze of similar looking complexes, and the rest of our group is already here. It’s Allen Wu, Hunter Cochran, Jarvis Yu, Nate Knox, Me Tom Ross and Kevin Jones. ‘

Sickass squad IMO.

The rest of the group tells us that the cleaning team hasn’t yet arrived to pickup from the previous guests…. And it’s like almost 10 PM.

But they end up showing up shortly after and clean it up quickly as Allen and Hunter jam Breach mirrors while Kevin 6-0’s me in G1’s of his Bant Spirits vs my UW control.

Nice Confidence booster going into the PT!

Losing every single game to drunk Kevin Jones playing one of the most popular decks.

 We have 3 bedrooms with a total of 2 large beds, and 2 smaller beds. So basically with 7 people 2 people get shafted into having to share a smaller bed.

I shotgun one of the bigger beds with Tom and go pass out while people are still up bustling around.

I wake up fresh right before my alarm, and I realize most people are already up.

I woke up to Allen bustling around me and Tom’s room seemingly finishing up getting ready to go, and think nothing of it.

After showering and getting in my 50 Jumping Jacks I quickly get ready to catch the uber with the first group headed to Breakfast Club.

In the Uber I learn Allen swapped with Tom and was now my roommate, so indeed it was he sharing the bed with me.

I can’t help but think his superpowers may have rubbed off on me.

 Also, 4700 ELO in one Queen bed is A LOT of ELO in one Queen bed!

 We are extremely late.

I let the group know it should be ok, as the Breakfast club was quick for me yesterday, and it’s only a 5min walk to the convention center.

But the problem is Friday traffic has us arriving around 8:30.                              

We go to the bar and order to go, but at 8:52 we still don’t have our food lol. The draft fires at 9. I ask the bartender to please go check and he quickly returns with our food.

We scamper over to the site, Jarvis and Allen hitting somewhere between a jog and a full sprint during the last stretch of convention center floor.

Pods are just going up and I sit right around 9am ready to go. I open my French toast and bacon and begin casually eating my food. My tablemates are both jealous and surprised.

I have an overall nice-looking pod, the only players I recognize are my teammate and friend Ty on my direct left, and then David Pargh 3 to my left.

At around 9:02 pargh calls a judge and asks if he has time to run to the restroom, the judge tells him we should be starting within like 2 minutes so he should wait. I snap off the “ I will take the over on 2 minutes”. My table laughs but then I reassure Pargh; No really… You can go to the restroom. We have at least 5 minutes and if they are about to start without you I will stop them.

He gets up and starts running!!!!

As he arrives back at his seat out of breath; they announce that they are dealing with some registration issues and should have them all resolved very soon.

2 minutes looooool; too bad the WOTC lawyers are such nits and we can’t wager on these things.

 At 9:14 or whatever it is I finally crack open that first pack

Protean Thamaturge 1/1 Copy 1U copy rare vs Mire’s Grasp

I believe thamaturge is slightly better, but my draft pod looks weak to me so I just take a safe pick of Mire’s Grasp that I ultimately regret a bit.

I’m passed a really bad pack with omen of the forge and 2/4 dryad rare as only options.

I take the Ilysian Grove Nymph (Not a Dryad)

3rd pick I take Heliod’s Pilgrim out of another weak pack. I have a Grasp already and there is just no card on a close level anyway.

4th and 6th I take Daybreak Chimera’s and I assume I am going to setup to be some sort of white aggro deck. I fill out with like a 7th pick favored of Iroas and an indomitable will, I also have a mogis favor I guess I 5th picked.

I open Mire’s Grasp and Daxos, and I take Daxos due to having no cheap plays and 2 chimera’s

I am passed Reverant Hoplite and another mire’s grasp; take hoplite

3rd I get a final Death over nothing, and I fill out this pack with a lagona band ¾ return an enchantment to the top, 2 white omens and a blackomen, and maybe like a flicker and a unicorn.

Going into P3 I am dying for cheap plays and white pips, and also an apathy to get with my pilgrim.

I open apathy and quickly check that box, but the cheap plays are a struggle. I end up taking like a nyxborn courser 2nd or 3rd pick, and a soulreaper of mogis like 4th. Not ideal and I am really worried, but I find a 6th pick hero of the pride, 7th pick pious wayfarer 8th pick hateful eidelon to at least end with a playable curve.

My deck looks like a 4/10 to me but I am still confident in my chances.

I end up registering 16 lands 9/7 when I should really be playing 17 bc I just decide I don’t want to lose to flooding and I will live if I get stuck on lands for a bit with this deck.

 R1 vs Andrew Matthews:

This player was feeding me, and I hate how the R1 Matchup is random. I don’t understand why we can’t just play R1 Across, but alas.

My opponent starts off with a mulligan to 5.

You don’t go 50-10 in your last 60 high level matches without a lot of luck!

He still almost beats me because my draw is awkward, and my deck is not great.

But once again some luck for me; he makes a game losing mistake.

I say go with dreadful apathy on his 7/7 typhon, and he has a 6/7 as well, end of turn I activate apathy. In response he return to nature’s my apathy…….

 I say ok and bin my apathy, then let him know the trigger can resolve now. And he says well it isn’t enchanted anymore.

So we get a judge and he confirms that it obviously is still getting exiled, and I untap lagonna band the apathy back to my deck and use it on his 6/7 the following turn and barely win.

He is GB with a bunch of mire’s grasps and multiple 6/7 colossus’

Game 2 I die horribly

G3 is somewhat interesting after thinking I was wayyy ahead and going to win, my opponent plays a klothys design. He had a 5/3 forerunners giving trample that I had apathied, and he had a hateful eidelon and a nyxborn colossus, so he is attacking me for 15 trample.

Luckily I had daxos and like 26 life, but I take 15 and now have to play extremely carefully around another designs. I draw flicker of fate for my turn to make it trivial as I just activate and move the apathy to the 6/7 and kill him over the next couple turns. Turns out he did have second designs :0

1-0

R2: Teammate Ty Thomason

Ty was on my left in the draft and is RG. I don’t really know much of his deck except that I passed him R omen and furious rise along with an assortment of green creatures and incendiary oracles.

In G1 I think I mulligan and have to keep a land heavy hand, and I draw my 5th land early and by turn 4 think I am a huge underdog in the game, but I draw like 5 or 6 spells in a row 2 of which are daybreak chimera and I fade his furious rise hitting removal for them over 3-4 turns as I tear away his life total from the sky.

 In G2 I think I am doing ok, and I let him untap with renatta hoping he plays just one big thing, but he has 2 2 drops, and also has like warbriars blessing at a bad time for kill my unicorn. My removal is awkard and expensive making it hard for my little shitters to get thru his multiple renata beefed 2 drops.

I still think I am even and have good chances, but the storm’s wrath I forgot I passed him kills any hopes I had fast.

 G3 is an epic one that I don’t believe I can do justice from memory. I keep a 2 lander on the play with  a t2 daxos and some assortment of expensive cards one of which is hoplite.

I miss my land for a turn but I hit my 3rd plains on t4 and then nail a swamp on t5 which keeps my right in the game.

Unfortunately, he sort of stabilizes the board and despite hoplite for 6 or whatever and having 30+ life, I don’t have great attacks just yet. To make matter’s worse he has an oread rummager in play to go a fresh renatta, and his deck contains a storm’s wrath that should end the game on the spot at any point, and wings of hubris that will be really problematic at any point on renatta.

I finally have an ok window to attack and also have no choice because he just drew wings an attacked me with renatta for double digits.

My life total is now somewhere around 20 and I make a huge attack but making sure to leave back a couple tokens to not die to a counterattack if Ty blocks optimally.

He blocks perfectly this turn and I chipped him down to like 11 or so while gaining a few life in the process and lowering his green pips some small amount, then he untaps and hits me again down to like 9.

I untap and peel an omen by the sun and decide I can attack with everything as I have omen plus another blocker and also gaining 5 life. I play my blocker to gain 1 from daxos and then my omen to get a tap with unicorn and send the squad. He blocks perfectly again I only gain 2-3 life from tokens dying and he goes to 1 putting me at like 13 + 4 from the omen so 17 I think but I can’t remember exactly.

So I have 3 blockers my 3/3 chimera and two tokens facing down renata  a 5/5 typhon and 6 other small creatures. But his hand is a nylea forerunners that he casts and after quick math my stomach drops because I am dead on board. I try to feign a bit of confidence as he counts the total number of creatures…

By the grace of God almighty, or maybe from the Allen Wu aura that I acquired from sharing the bed with him, Ty and I have exactly the same number of creatures.

So despite being at 1 Life Ty can say go because he has a chance to survive if I don’t draw an enchantment.

In his head his carytids were staying back to pump his 4/5 menace thing, but really carytids were 2/2 from renata and would’ve pushed him 1-2 damage past lethal if they just attacked.

In my upkeep I scry with my white omen sac and see plains then flicker. Flicker is easily lethal as I flicker my black omen with 1 mana left tapping a blocker for lethal, but I also have hateful eideilon to get back and play with my last mana to tap another blocker and play around any removal which he very clearly doesen’t have anyway.

2-0

At this point I am feeling on top of the world. 2-0 with a medium deck beating the best player in my pod, knowing my constructed deck is as bladed as ever.

While using the restroom after this round a guy from my pod asks how I did, and tells me he lost to the busted deck. It is Pargh who will be my opponent. He is UB and got the thaumaturge 4th and also all of the late U omens and things to go with pharikas spawn and thirsts and shimmering chimera etc. I just accept that it will be a tough match and I won’t be dissapointed if I lose.

R3 vs David Pargh:

G1 I keep a hand of like Daybreak Chimera Daybreak Chimera Dreadful Apathy 2 plains swamp lagona band trailblazer.

Unfortunately my first 2 draws are swamps and i feel obligated to play dreadful apathy t3 on his eidelon of philosphy just to be able to t4 chimera.

I do t4 chimera but t5 i draw yet another swamp leaving me with all white cards and no way to double spell. T6 is another single spell turn for me, and despite him flooding and me landing a hoplite for 6, i can only chip him down to 1 life before he has seen so many cards with omens and thirst that he finds gray merchant to stabilize and virtually lock the game.

I am frustrated going to SB bc it was a game i could easily have stolen If i just drew plains or spells instead of swamps. But i realize it’s part of why my deck sucks and I need to get over myself.

G2 is another drawn out affair where i think I have some chances early, but I begin to flood and it slips away fast. I die to the combination of pharika’s spawn shimmerwing chimera tymaret and some counterspells plus a final death.

2-1 and still feeling great.

We find out over the loudspeaker during this round that there will be no lunchbreak. I am suprinsingly happy with this. I am not hungry and ready to play some constructed to shake this loss off.

R4 vs Mark Lepine on UW Spirits

I don’t know Mark, but I do know he is an old school pro who got DQed recently for peeking in drafts. I will just say now that in our match he was extremely pleasant and did not seem even remotely sketchy at any point. That being said, I was aware of the DQ and on edge to make sure and watch close for anything fishy. We exchange decklists and i quickly see he is UW spirits, except he has 2 essence flux? and 1 Bygone Bishop???

I get the oracle on those and we get into a game 1 where everything goes right. He floods a bit and my first wrath comes down when he only has 2 mana open and no selfless spirit, and then my 2nd is cleaning up most of his resources with my life total still high. After azorious charming something to the top with t5eferi in play I know it’s over and after a dig he soon quits.

G2 is a bit odd, in that he floods and attacks me with mutavault a bunch, i at some point seal away it and he doesn’t have rattle chains and i know it’s over. We play a few more turns, and i have a spot to slam trawler, but instead go for dig EOT bc it’s so likely he has a dispute/stroke for how little he has done in the game. 

Except as i cast dig he immediately says ok. And i say it resolves?? And he shakes his head and says yeah, you wouldn’t expect it to huh?

He has been friendly all match, and it just seems like more of that.

I am not sure if he’s leveling and holding a counter for trawler, but anyway i untap and have even better plays to not even have to sweat it. Then the following turn when i play trawler he was just actually being geniune and had no counter and dies to it lol

3-1

R5 vs Johnathan Lum on Sultai Delerium

G1 goes quite smoothly. I think i Censor a courser and then clean up a courser and wayfinder with a wrath, i censor a Nissa at some point, and i draw lantern to exile an URO and then later his graveyard preventing myself from ever getting Emrakuled before i can just close the game with elspeth.

G2 is another smooth sailing game early, except he eventually does build up to emrakul and i can sense it happening, but can’t really stop it anyway. The turn before he emrakuls I play trawler with a sabatoge up, so i sabatoge the emrakul and have a hand of opt only. I untap and he is taking my turn. He says draw.

My one detention sphere. He immediately spheres trawler (Bad sequencing there of course) then he opts, revealing a land. He keeps it and doesn’t play it saying go back to me again. So i have 9 mana and a glacial fortress facing down no hand but an uro that can come back next turn my life is like 17 so I’m not that worried but def a close game.

I draw dig thru time and hit 2 teferi’s and a sabatoge lol I take little teferi bounce my detention sphere freeing dream trawler with counter backup. 

I managed to win a few turns later.

4-1

R6 vs Charles Wong on Sultai Invertor

Charles seemed to be a good player to me, but I didn’t know him before this match.

In G1 he had multiple carytids and a wayfinder, but i countered his URO on the way back down and I feel like he had 6-7 lands in play at a point where i had cycled 2 farmlands 2 charms a censor and 2 opts, and i have literally only lands than don’t do anything still. At any point if i draw a dig teferi narset or whatever I just win easily I assume, but instead he just resolves a topdecked jace, then untaps and resolves invertor and kills me.

Frustrating to lose to flooding in a deck that is so good at preventing that, but it happens.

G2 is just not close. My opp TS me and then t3 tracker resolves and he disputes my next 2 spells as i fall behind even further to a resolved Jace. He untaps after disputing my t5eferi or whatever and says oh u are dead, dig invertor.

30+ min in the round is not bad tho. Thats a jimmy johns run lets goooooo.

4-2

I clear my head during this walk and grab my sandwich and head back to the site ready to crush the last two rounds.

I’m just finishing my sandwich as pairings go up, Paul Reitzl is my opponent.

I am a bit annoyed at 4-2 to be playing someone so good, but that’s how the PT goes sometimes.

R7 vs Paul Rietzl on MonoB Vampires

His list looks mostly pretty standard.

In g1 he thoughtseizes me on either t1 or 2 I can’t remember exactly but my hand is just like 2 opts a farmland an elspeth and some other lands. I say this hand is gasssss against TS as i reveal it. He says it definitely is. And then i mention that I think my deck just may be really good against thoughtsieze as he’s thinking.

I tell him that elspeth is insanely good when he asks if he should take an opt. he says you are just going to see so many new cards. I say yeah but you can’t stop me anyway, he must agree as he does take elspeth. In this game i play those few opts and am flooding a bit but have 1 key spells t4-5 maybe a counterspell I don’t recall exactly. 

He now has black castle and just uses it mainphase to draw a card up to 6 cards lol, down to like 13 life or whatever.

I untap and just have all lands and wrath so i escape elspeth make tokens. Then he goes like play knight of ebon into champion draw 3 or something bc he had a dusk legion zealot. Then i wrath and make 2 more tokens say go. He untaps and plays 2 dusk legion zealots down to like 8. I pump my tokens and attack and he double blocks one down to 5. i still have all lands but i drew a lantern and have that ready to cycle and say go, he untaps and murderous riders my elspeth down to 3 playing rider.

I cycle lantern as the third card in my yard besides elspeth and hit a land. So on my turn I need to draw a banger and censor does qualify as it is just an elspeth plus a card. I cycle into nothing and play elspeth for the 3rd time and pump my tokens forcing him to block both with rider + his last zealot. 

He untaps and scoops showing me like 3 more swamps in his hand (he drew like 10+ lands, but apparently that happens often to this deck according to Tom Ross who played a lot of it).

G2 is another slow paced game where he hits me with mutavault a few times but I’m able to seal away it and then land teferi. He had the end of turn grasp but i have trawler and know If he has no TS it will be over. He untaps and draws a card with either castle or champion then plays a swamp and says i know you have what just the wrath?? Hmmmm and taps the black mana; i hold my breathe as the duress hits the table. lets goooooooooooo

He can’t take dream trawler so who cares what he took. I have exactly 6 lands and a teferi time raveler on 1. I put my hand on the table for duress and it was like trawler wrath censor. He took wrath and says go.

Without even picking up my trawler or untapping my lands I just pickup my censor draw a card without looking at it instantly tick my teferi to 2 and say go leaving the trawler in play and my lands tapped lol.

He untaps and does some irrelevant things like sorin pump champion attack for 5 i take it untap cycle something kill sorin gain 6.

He untaps again and says he has outs. He has to hit that one or that one. And I say woah having multiple things is a lot more than i expected. He says well it has to be right now, and plays dusk legion zealot. Then he says we did it! And slams Rankle and attacks making me sac and discard. But he now has no hand and I have wrath + field of ruin for his castle so it’s me at a high life total and 8 lands vs his 6 swamps and me getting the first draw step.

I’ll take the teferi/dig/trawler tribal side of this game. I untap and draw t5eferi so i wrath and say go, he just draws sorin with no board or muta so it does nothing. I draw t5eferi again, play one and plus hitting dig so gg yo untap 2 go.

He untaps and plays mutavault he drew and starts tanking and tanking. I grab sorin to see what the deal is if maybe it gives deathtouch somehow when sacking a vamp? But no he is just considering sacking mutavault putting tef to 2 and then drawing a vamp next turn to kill it from 3.

But i tell him I have dig thru time and another T5feri so it doesn’t matter at all, but just put a counter. When i say this he laughs and immediately throws mutavault at my teferi. I laugh and say I told you not to do that. He says I have to hope you’re lying as I am casting my dig.

I hit spells like counter spell charm and then draw another trawler and yeah, i win from there.

5-2

R8 Vs Justin Porchas on UB Invertor

I recognize Justin but don’t remember from what, and it was that we IDed into T8 of the GP Dallas I won. So we’ve never played, but we have shaken hands!

He has a pretty stock list that I think I’m favored against, but he plays very well and seems to know his deck + the matchup well.

G1 goes really long which really favors me, but I cast multiple digs and am just not finding hard counters so there are plenty turns I am in big danger of getting combo’d. He eventually does invertor with 2 jace in his yard and i think 2 other cards? And then he plays oracle keeping one of them on top.

He untaps and plays a jace with 3 cards in the deck and I believe I succesfully counter it, but when i cycle my charm and untap and draw a land I am dead if his next card is jace and he goes for it. It’s basically 33%, but it feels like 50% bc when he played oracle he seemed to snap throw 1 to the bottom as if it was Jace+ another, not just 2 jaces who cares. That was my read anyway. We’ll he untaps and says go so i have one more chance. I draw an Opt I believe. At this point I’ve run sort of poorly with seeing the bottom 15+ and knowing my deck still has 3-4 hard counters another dig and teferi in only like 15-20 cards. Justice prevails as I cycle into I believe the absorb or veto I can’t remember. He untaps and goes for Jace and when I counter he concedes.

G2 is somewhat interesting but he resolves jace, and i do deal with it with t5eferi, but he kills my teferi and also lands the new 5 mana ashiok. That cards is actually busted and it runs away with the game as I am disctracted trying to deal with it while he sets up invertor jace to kill me.

Going to G3 we have a little under 20min I believe and as I am presenting Justin notices one of his sleeves is different for some reason. He has black Matte sleeves but this one is just solid black. He asks if I want him to just flip the card over. I said no you don’t need to do that, just look at it and see what it is yourself and if you can tell what happened?

He just flips it anyway and it’s a Jace Wielder of Mysteries. OK? That is a bit weird but before I can start questioning he calls a judge on himself. The judge comes over and Justin hands him the card and says “This is Matt Costa’s” LOLOLOL

He Thief of Sanity it from Matt in a previous round and didn’t realize it until now. So the judge rules that bc it’s between games and he never got caught presenting an illegal deck basically, the fix is just to return the card to Matt and carry on. This rule sounds right to me in limited, like say you have a dreadful apathy that was actually your previous opponents, and you find it during sideboarding. You call a judge and this is the fix, just give it back move on. But this is a bizzare circumstance. 

I just played two games in a constructed match where my opponent happened to have an extra copy of the single best card in the matchup?????

Is the fix really just “I know you fought hard both of those games against the onslaught of jace’s, but for now we just move on?”

And to be fair the head judge said, it’s on you to count if he has 60 and if you do so and it’s 61 he would’ve gotten a gameloss for this.

So idk, i remember back in 2008 it was cool and normal to pile count your opponents deck, but i thought these days everyone was off that. I certainly haven’t done it in years, but maybe I should start again?

Anyway, I feel a bit bad for Costa who may get a gameloss midgame here. Snook is sitting next to me Costa’s good friend and he looks sick. And i look at him and say let’s just hope Matt is done with his match. And snook nods and said that is the only thing I am thinking.

Turns out Matt was done so mise.

But anyway Justin and I are now going to a G3 with a fair number of jaces in his deck.

I hate that I can’t remember much about this game, but I know I had a good hand and ended up winning a super super tight one at the end.

He went for invertor when i was short counterspells and i was worried he was holding an oracle to go with the one in his yard. But whenever he does go for the oracle i dispute it, and he pays going down to 1 mana which lets me use my last piece of interaction, another dispute, and he concedes. If he just had another oracle/jace for next turn I had nothing and would’ve died, so that was a nailbiter to finish it off.

6-2

This one is getting really long and not much interesting happened this night anyway. We did go to a really nice Thai restaurant, but I will pick back up here on the final part 3.

There we will go over day 2, and then my

spoilers:

Top 8 match against Huey!

Thanks for reading, see you back tomorrow for the rest. 

[smilingformoney]

It Lives in the Woods Diamond Scene: Read Dan’s Texts

You: Let’s do it. It seems like Dan wants us to know, and this is the only way he can tell us. You open Dan’s messaging app, and Stacy scoots her chair over next to yours. You: Okay, so when did all this stuff start? Stacy, you said before that Dan was having breakdowns at football games, right? When was that? Stacy: Sometime around last September, I think. Stacy reads over your shoulder as you scroll backwards through Dan’s life, rewinding across days… weeks… months…

Saturday, September 17 | 11:09 am Stacy: hey dan, its stacy… r u doing alright? Dan: yeah, what do you mean? Stacy: i saw u after the game last night… Dan: ? Stacy: crying? under the bleachers? Dan: lol what? must’ve been somebody else Stacy: im pretty sure it was you Dan: well I’m pretty sure it wasn’t lol Stacy: Then they looked a lot like you. and had your same jersey #. and afterwards im pretty sure they stole ur car Dan: I’m fine. Stacy: ok Stacy: just… i hope u know u can talk to me Stacy: about anything

Sunday, September 18 | 1:42 pm Mom: Everything okay, kiddo? Dan: yeah why Mom: My mom senses are tingling. Also I found Picard meowing outside your door this morning, and you only kick him out when you’re upset. Dan: I’m okay… just school stress and stuff. I didnt sleep super great last night Mom: Are you having the nightmares again? Dan: no, and no offense, but can we please not do the talk again Mom: ‘The Talk’? Dan: the one where I tell you a bunch of stuff that makes you look at me like a sick puppy and u try to convince me to see a shrink and I say no and we argue Mom: Ouch. Dan: sorry… im just tired Mom: Look, I know you don’t want to talk to a therapist Mom: (because you’re stubborn and you are your father’s son) Mom: But I worry about you. And I want you to be okay. Dan: I know Mom: What do you think about something like this? Mom: “New App Places Therapy at your Fingert…” Read the whole story at healthnews.pb/2016/09/15/227x941/… Dan: what is this? texting with a therapist? seems kinda cheesy… Mom: Just think about it.

Thursday, September 29 | 2:19 am Emily: hi there :) Do you prefer Daniel, or Dan? Dan: dan is fine Emily: Well Dan, my name is Dr. Emily Chambal and I’ll be your Lighthouse counselor. Emily: How are you feeling? Dan: what like now or in general? Emily: Let’s start with now. Dan: idk…hungry? Emily: Same. I’m eating nachos! Dan: aw man. Now I want nachos Emily: Yes, so does my German Shepherd. Dan: lol Emily: So how have you been feeling lately? Dan: idk… hard to describe. kind of alone i guess? Emily: Alone like sad? Dan: no. more like… scared

You: What did Dan have to be afraid of? This was long before all the creepy stuff started happening… right? Stacy: Hm… Skip ahead to November, just after Thanksgiving break. Stacy: Dan was out of school for a couple days in a row and… I don’t know. Something about it felt weird to me. You: Okay, let’s see…

Wednesday, November 30 | 9:14 am Mom: Dan, I’m trying to be respectful and give you your space but it’s been three days Mom: I’m getting worried. And the school is calling. And you have half our cups and bowls in there. Mom: please open the door Dan: tomorrow

Wednesday, November 30 | 3:17 pm Emily: Is this the first time you’ve had an episode like this? Dan: never this long Dan: idk what’s wrong with me. im just lying here shaking Emily: Did something happen that might have set this off? Dan: sort of. we went to my uncle’s cabin for thxgiving and i started having nightmares Emily: Were they about what happened? The incident when you were a kid? Dan: yeah Emily: Are you ready to talk about that yet? Dan: no Emily: That’s fine, no rush. You don’t have to answer this, but I have one other question. Would you describe this incident as negative? Or violent? Dan: yes… understatement of the century Emily: And would you say, before this episode, that it’s been a while since you last thought about it? Dan: sort of… I think about it a lot. but I try not to Dan: it got better for a few years… i just pretended it happened to someone else Emily: But visiting your uncle’s cabin brought it back for you? And then it all came rushing back to you? Sound about right? Dan: yes Emily: Okay. Well I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first? Dan: good please Emily: The good news is, I think you’re making progress. And I think we might have an idea of what we’re dealing with now. Emily: The bad news is, from everything you’ve told me over the last couple weeks, it sounds like you might be dealing with symptoms of dissociation that manifest with some forms of PTSD Dan: what does that mean? Emily: It means this may get worse before it gets better. Emily: But I do believe it will get better. I hope you do too.

You: Looks like the next big batch is around February… Stacy: Oh, no. Winter formal… You: What happened? Stacy: After the dance, there was a big party at Seth’s house. Stacy: I found Dan freaking out in the bathroom, but then I left for a minute, and he just took off…

Friday, February 10 | 2:18 am Stacy: Dan? i left to get towels and u disappeared, where r u Dan: I’m fine, I walked home Stacy: ur clearly NOT fine Stacy: wtf is going on with u?! talk to me!! Dan: just leave me alone Stacy: okay.

Friday, February 10 | 9:14 am Mom: You came home kinda late last night. Everything okay, kiddo? Dan: ya im fine Mom: Are you sure? Do you want to talk about it? Dan: NO. for the millionth time: I AM FINE

Saturday, February 11 | 4:15 pm Dan: I did something dumb the other night… Emily: What happened? Dan: i went to a party even though i was feeling bad Dan: i had a freakout, and i was really crappy to someone who was trying to help me Dan: …two people actually Emily: Have you had any more episodes recently? Dan: sort of… ive been having nightmares all week Dan: also, as I was coming home frmm the party, i went by the woods... and I thought I saw something. Dan: i guess it was probably just a hallucination but it really freaked me out. p sure i ran most of the way home Emily: These woods… are they near where your original incident took place? Dan: yeah Emily: Okay, let me ask you this… Emily: How do you feel when you see a forest? Or when you think about being inside one? Dan: bad Emily: Bad how? Dan: like i cant breathe Emily: Do you think the woods might be a trigger for you? You see a bunch of dark trees and you start thinking about what happened? Dan: yeah! Like at my uncle’s cabin! Emily: If that’s the case, then I think I have an idea for how we might start to deal with this. Let me run something by you…

Stacy: After that… I think my last text with Dan was in June.

Monday, June 5 | 4:15 pm Stacy: Hi Dan. I was thinking about you today. It’s been a few months since we talked and I’m sad with how we left things off. I hope you’re doing okay. Dan: Hi stacy. I’m good :) Dan: I mean I wasnt before, but I think im getting better. I can’t talk now but…soon? Stacy: that’d be great Dan: have a good summer vacation! Stacy: u too dan

Monday, June 5 | 6:15 pm Dan: New record! Emily: Woo! Dan: this time I went right up to the treeline & stood there for 10 minutes Emily: That’s great! I’m happy that you’re making so much progress. Dan: its not enough though. i still have to go inside Dan: i have to see the place where it happened. i have to face it. Emily: Remember not to push yourself too hard, okay? If this starts to stress you out too much, there are always other methods we can try. Emily: Just take it one day at a time.

You: It’s mostly little texts after that, all throughout summer. You: One step into the woods… a picnic five feet inside… He was working his way up to it. Working his way up to… You: Last week.

Sunday | 3:15 pm Mom: You have everything you need? Dan: yep Mom: Toothbrush? Underwear? Blanket? Dan: yep yep yep Mom: Okay. Have fun, stay safe! You want me to come and pick you up from Tony’s tomorrow? Dan: you don’t have to do that. i’ll walk Mom: K. Call if you change your mind? Dan: lol, you’re acting like this is some huge deal. i’ve crashed at Tony’s house like a million times Mom: Not for years! I’m just so happy to see that you’re doing better. Mom: I love you. Dan: thanks mom. love u too. see u tomorrow

5:15 pm Dan: Hi Dr. Chambal. I’m standing on the edge of the woods for what I hope is going to be the last time. Just wanted to say thank you for all your help. Dan: I’m going in there tonight. And this time, I’m going all the way to where it happened. To end this once and for all. Dan: I’m going to walk into that house and tell Mr. Red he’s not real. And he never was. And he doesn’t scare me anymore.

10:15 pm Emily: Hi Dan. Sorry, Sundays are my day off, just saw your messages. Emily: I’m glad I’ve been helpful to you, but I hope you understand that trauma isn’t something you can just ‘fix’ with one grand gesture. Emily: Dealing with what happened is going to take a lifetime of work that may not ever stop. but it will get easier. Emily: There are also limits to what a mental health professional can do via text, and I do still strongly encourage you to consider traditional therapy as a long term treatment option. Emily: Also, I hope that if you’re going into the woods, you’re staying safe and taking a buddy. Emily: You have a lot of people who care about you, and there are other dangerous things out there besides bad memories. Emily: take care, talk soon

10:47 pm Emily: wait I just re-read your last text Emily: Who’s Mr. Red? Emily: Dan? Who is Mr. Red? Emily: Are you there? Emily: Dan???

You put down Dan’s phone, your hands shaking a little. You: Oh, Dan… I’m so sorry. I promise, we’re going to find a way to help you. And… You: …And when you wake up, we’re going to be here for you. Whatever you need. You squeeze Dan’s hand… and he lets out a long sigh. Dan +15 Dan: Hhhhhhh… Noah: We’ll help more than that quack doctor. She told Dan it was all in his mind! She’s the reason he went to face Mr. Red! Lily: That’s not fair, Noah. Dr. Chambal didn’t tell him to do that. She did the best she could with the information Dan gave her. Lucas: And it did seem like she was helping him. It seemed like he was getting better at dealing with everything, until… Ava: …Until Mr. Red ruined everything. Again.

[bloghappilymarriedthings-blog]

Romeo and Juliet

Tuesday we were able to go to the Mexico City temple. Surprisingly we made it there and back safely.. the driving is SO scary I literally can't look at the cars outside haha. We saw a taxi that had a mom with a LITTLE baby on her lap in the front seat.. so scary. The temple is so cool looking both inside and out! It almost looks like an Aztec temple on the outside. It's huge!I took Nate's advice and didn't use headphones and focused on the spirit. Such a cool experience.

About 30 minutes left in the session Hermana Blockston told me she wasn't feeling well and as soon as the session was over she threw up... THE PLAGUE IS BACK. She was sick all day friday but was better by Saturday afternoon! Everyone that got it said it was the worst sickness they've ever gotten.. so glad I didn't get it.

So sometimes it's hard to write a lot of say something about my days/week here in the CCM because the days are all the same haha

.6:30AM Arise and Prepare7:15 Breakfast7:45-8:15 Personal Study time8:15-9:15 Progressing Investigator9:15-10:00 class10:15-11:10 demonstrate teaching11:15-12:00 Language12:15-12:45 Lunch1:40-2:30 Gym Time3:00-4:00 Daily Planning Session4:00-4:30 Personal Study Time4:30-5:15 Companion study5:30-6:45 Study (with teachers)7:00 DinnerStudyDevotionals Sunday and Tuesday night's. Otherwise it's study until 9!That's a day in the MTC! 

So actually the first week we were here it was way crazier. We never had time to study. Just baaaarely the president felt it was needed for us and it has been so incredibly nice!! We used to just go from class to class. Some teach of temple work, family history, I had never heard of Self reliance classes before, I invite all of you to check them out!!

So i am in the MTC choir and we sang Army of Helaman/Sisters in Zion in Espanol or course and the spirit was sooo strong!We are singing it Also for Elder Renlund tonight I'm soooooo stoked!!! (The apostle lol)

It's so funny how many lovers are here at the CCM HAHAH! Apparently the Latinos here don't care about the rules. One had his first kiss the other day!! Big no no haha! A few other stories but they are just so funny to me. It's like Romeo and Juliet here, so many lovers that are against so many rules to be together ahahahah. Actually I want to tell you one that is SO FUNNY. A white girl in my casa, not my room but casa, has a Latino lover. They fell in love when he asked "what is that?" And she replied "waffle" at breakfast. Yes, that was it. Then they both fell in love and he wrote her a romantic letter in spanish she coudlnt even understand it. She asked her teacher to translate it and at the beginning it said "you live in my head and you're always in my heart.." yeah that got shut down real quick haha. But she came into my room telling me about it and hopes they get married HAHAHA WHAT.

FAMILY- LETTERS PLZ HAHAHAOkay dad i got yours the next day got it Thursday! you're GOAT.  Honestly have been a bit down because everyone else gets loads besides me haha but thank you papa!!

me and the girls in my casa are planning to do a movie night and watch the restoration on my tablet ahahahah it will be fun... It just hasn't happened yet because every night when we finally get home we are so tired and go to bed haha. They said maybe the last day of the CCM we will but I leave two days before everyone else haha.

Fun fact, I fly out on the second of July and everyone else on the 4th but I get to fly to New York and Virginia with elder Lemmon, so glad I'm not going alone haha!

It's so funny- I can't wait to get out of the CCM sometimes it is like prison and want to go into the real world, eat good food yanno . But then I realize I'm still so clueless when it comes to spanish and I quickly change my mind and 3 weeks seems like too little of time left haha!I've made a lot of friends here, it will be very hard to leave them. I've already had other friends leave and it is so sad! 

the CCM is getting to be a lot more fun but waaayy crazier, too! 100 missionaries came on FOUR busses this last tuesday and is only going to get crazier! when i came, there were about 150 of us. now we are up to 400.. soon to be 1200 by the time i leave on July 2nd!!

we study for about 12 hours every day and my brain gets soo tired by the end of the day haha. almost every day is the same so i honestly dont have too much to say. 

we had an earthquake drill because they usually get earthquakes like crazy here.

i love this gospel and every day i get more and more excited to go out and share my message with all the Latinos of Virginia! i have loved the ccm as it is an easy way to gain a love for the people, everyone here is so nice.

so my spanish.... still not too grand haha. its definitely improving tho and i am getting so excited! at first it was hard to feel the spirit while im trying to understand the language but now i can do both and my testimony is really growing! i had to teach Book of Mormon class for the first time, totally winged it and just by myself, but dont worry- CRUSHED IT.

i love my district so much! we might be getting smaller tho because they want to move the trio that speaks very good spanish into a latin district which i think would help us all improve a lot more.

thank you everyone for all the love and support and emails, I love you all so much!!! -hermana slack