#it's so strange that im your first mutual.. i definitely remember you following me and it feels so recent

[the-pigeon]

hiii pigeon we've been mutuals for some time but haven't interacted w each other! i wanted to quickly say hi (i did it already hehe) and say that im glad that youre my first mutual on tumblr! im still kinda new here but i am still very welcome to idea of chit-chatting if u do not mind :] i have a dsmp lore brainrot and rlly enjoy watching tommy, so i hope we get along (if you dont mind)

OMG HI sorry i only just saw this i've been out and hi hi hi hi !!! im never opposed to talking so i definitely dont mind hehe. im gonna ramble in the tags now

[haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles]

Shower Friends (Miya Atsumu x F!reader)

The dorm you live in has co-ed bathrooms. Why that’s remotely a good idea is beyond you; and recently, your precious shower time is being interrupted by a certain blonde haired setter for the volleyball team. When he lies to his teammates that he has a girlfriend, somehow you get roped into his scheme.

genre(s): college!au, fake dating, angst, fluff, mutual pining, enemies to lovers (kinda), eventual smut (maybe)  words: 4.1k warnings: mentions of alcohol

a/n: im certified atsumu simp now 

taglist: @apollochjld @kurosarium @vicassa @carbs-need-more-love @underratedmage @idek-at-thispoint @wtfeverbrandi @food8me @yikes-buddy @ntimacy @nyxiie

| Chapter One |

Chapter Two

When you turn the corner to head towards the gym, Atsumu is already waiting for you. Determined to make this as convincing as possible, he slings an arm around your shoulders and you do a fantastic job of pressing yourself against his side, wrapping your own arm around his middle. You ignore the thought that he is comfortingly warm and very solid next you, reminding yourself you’re doing this for peaceful showers.

The two of you approach the gym and as if they were waiting for you, the entire team is standing at the entrance. A few of their brows raise, clearly surprised Atsumu wasn’t lying. Though some of them look suspicious, eyeing the two of you up and you prepare yourself for questions.

When you get within earshot, one of them shouts, “Wow Miya, we really thought you were lying!”

“Yeah! Why’ve you been hiding this beauty from us, huh?”

Before he can speak, for some reason you decide to take the blame, answering, “I was a little nervous to meet you all for a while.”

If Atsumu is surprised at all, he hides it, instead holding you a bit closer, his hand splaying across your opposite shoulder and gushing, “Cute, isn’t she?”

One of them who doesn’t seem convinced asks, “So how’d you meet?”

Now Atsumu takes the lead. “Funny story actually! We met in the bathroom! Her favorite shower stall is the one right next to mine, and we both like late night showers.”

You can’t help the frown that turns your lips downward. “He wouldn’t leave me alone,” you admit, making the members of the team smirk a little bit. “I swear, he’d wait around for me.”

“I did not!” He pouts, and it’s beginning to look like the more suspicious members are starting to believe you.

So, you go in for the kill. “Sure, you didn’t,” you smile, reaching up to press a chaste kiss to his cheek that you don’t give yourself time to think is okay or not. That seems to stun Atsumu, which is a feat in itself, but you don’t give anyone time to think anything of it as you give them a light wave goodbye and slip out of Atsumu’s arms. “It was nice meeting you all, but shouldn’t you get to practice? I’m sure I’ll be seeing you more often now!”

They give you parting waves, some of them just as stunned as Atsumu seems to be. On your way out, you risk a glance backwards and see them surround Atsumu, one of them pulling him into a headlock and ruffling his blonde locks while they all laugh and enter the gym. Atsumu grinning the widest of them all. You aren’t sure why, but you’re smiling too. Strangely glad to have helped him out.

His teammates encircle him, clapping him on the back and congratulating him, jokingly calling him a bastard for going and snagging a girl like that. He can’t help thinking the same. You shocked him with that kiss out of the blue, enough that he probably looked more lovestruck than shocked to his teammates. He’s impressed with your commitment to this charade.

Before he disappears into the gym, Atsumu takes one last look at you heading down the path. That went perfectly. And even though he knows he shouldn’t, he thinks about that small little kiss the entire practice.

The following days are absolute hell. You have to garner the courage to tell your roommate before word gets out because the rumor that Miya Atsumu finally has a girlfriend spreads like wildfire. She’s hurt at first, but like you suspect, she forgives you after you tell her how you and Atsumu met.

She seems to think the shower story is the most adorable thing she’s ever heard as her squeals of, “So cute!!” are loud enough you swear the entire floor must hear it.

Your daily routine changes, feeling like you have to peer around every corner in fear of the fan club waiting to ambush you. But after reluctantly disclosing that to Atsumu, you notice he makes a point to walk with you whenever he can. His arm wrapped around your shoulders and once when you actually do run in to the fan club, the glare he gives them is cold enough to ice over a lake and you’re pretty sure they won’t bother you even if Atsumu is absent.

Additionally, you and Atsumu start spending a lot more time together. You eat lunch with him almost every day, sometimes joined by a few members of the team, sometimes by your roommate, other times the two of you eat alone. And you’re beginning to find those are the days you like the most. The days when the two of you can just be without feeling the pressure to pretend.

“So does your brother still play volleyball?” You ask one day, curious why if they were such a powerhouse in high school why they didn’t continue that into college.

“I always liked volleyball just a little more than him.”

“He quit?”

Atsumu shrugs, shoving another mouthful of rice into his mouth. “He went to culinary school, always had a weird place in his heart for food.”

“And that was volleyball for you?”

He stares at you, unprepared for this barrage of questions. There was this strange familiarity growing between the two of you, and the more time he spends with you alone the more he feels like he knows you. It makes it easier to pretend for everyone else, but he’s starting to wonder if it’s making it harder for him to remember this is all pretend.

Before he can reply, you continue, “If you love volleyball so much, why aren’t you playing professionally then?”

His brows lift. “And how did yer pretty little ears hear about that?”

You roll your eyes, but definitely need to shove the feeling of embarrassment down to be able to admit, “My roommate told me.”

“Curious today, aren’tcha?”

You stiffen. “Well, I should probably know these things if we’re dating,” you mumble, returning to your food trying to hide your flustered expression.

Yet again, you surprise him with your commitment to this façade. The two of you could easily sit here in silence since it’s just the two of you, but since you’ve started eating lunch together both of you have started to get to know the other more. So, he just smiles at you and admits, “Yeah, I could, but I was kinda lookin’ forward to the whole college experience, ya know?” He rests his chin in his hand, wondering if he should continue. He hasn’t really told anyone his feelings about playing professionally, and how he feels that with every day he ignores the offers the less likely he’ll be able to make the transition the longer he waits. “I’m still thinkin’ about it. The offers are still there.”

You cock your head, and he refuses to look at you, feeling like you have a gift for seeing straight through him. “Is college that great?”

Now he laughs, and in an attempt to bring this conversation back to lighter waters he wraps an arm around you and smothers you against his chest teasing, “Yeah, otherwise I wouldn’ta met you!”

You roll your eyes and tell yourself that for the sake of the charade you let yourself sink into his embrace. When he releases you, you stick your tongue out at him. “I know you purposefully changed the subject, but I’ll let it slide. Consider yourself lucky.”

He puts his hands together in a fake prayer. “I’ll forever remember the kindness,” he says dramatically.

To which you scoff, “I highly doubt that.”

~

You study together when he’s available, but usually volleyball takes precedence over studying most nights. Sometimes he joins you in the library late at night, finding you in your favorite corner, plopping down beside you, blonde hair damp from the quick shower he took and distracting you from schoolwork with how practice went that day.

Already a few weeks in to your agreement, one night the two of you are in the library rather late, Atsumu’s practice ended late and he has a paper due in the morning that he’s desperate to finish. For the first hour, he’s chatty, unable to focus on what he needs to get done, despite constant reminders from you and promises that you’ll go get ice cream from the dining hall when he finishes.

The next hour, he seems to get in the zone, typing furiously away on his computer. Honestly, he isn’t sure if what he’s writing is even good but at this point, he doesn’t care, it just needs to get done.

But after his stint of concentration, you’re suddenly struck by the realization that he’s been silent beside you for a few minutes now. No sound of typing or conversation, and it goes on long enough that you become concerned. Looking over, you find him slumped over in his chair, head on his keyboard, fast asleep.

You fight the urge to laugh at him. Taking only a few selfish moments to marvel over his face, his usual smirking expression replaced by his eyes softly closed and his mouth slightly open. He sighs a deep breath before subconsciously stretching his arms out across the table and you get a nice view of his biceps flexing beneath his black shirt.

It’s then you become aware that you’ve been staring at him way too long and shake him awake.

His eyes flutter open, and upon seeing you, that once infuriating smirk he likes to wear rises to his lips. “Who woulda thought I’d be wakin’ up to a pretty girl lookin’ at me like that,” he drawls, knowing exactly how to fluster you.

You shake your head, laughing and packing up your things. “Come on big baby, it’s bedtime.”

“Yes ma’am,” he murmurs, picking his head up and promptly stuffing his things away in his bag. You decide to ignore what his soft, sleepy voice is doing to your heart rate and instead focus on how he’s putting his things away. That backfires on you, as you start thinking about how long and deft his fingers are and you have to physically look away from him to stop your mind going in that direction.

The two of you leave the library, walking quietly back to your dorm building, you aren’t expecting his hand to slip into yours; those long fingers you were just trying to get out of your head intertwining with yours. You look up at him confusedly and without looking at you, he brushes it off, “Just in case.”

You press your lips into a firm line, replying, “Right.”

He won’t dare admit he did that subconsciously. He just reached out for your hand like it was the most natural thing in the world, only realizing his mistake from the confused expression you gave him. He internalizes his sigh of relief that he can pass it off as keeping up your fake relationship and you seem none the wiser.

When you make it up to your floor, at the point in the hallway where you need to split ways, despite nobody being around that you need to fake for, you press a light kiss to his cheek and say, “Goodnight Atsumu.”

You’re gone before he can get a reply in.

~

You start coming to his games more often, dragging your roommate along (though she doesn’t mind one bit) and do your best to ignore just how good he looks playing volleyball. It doesn’t help that your roommate keeps commenting things like, “god you are so lucky,” and “just look at him!”

You are looking at him. And it pisses you off that she’s right. He’s annoyingly god-like, and you find yourself staring at his biceps and thighs a lot more than is necessary. Your heart fluttering traitorously whenever he grins when he makes a successful play. Even when he raises his fist to silence the crowd when he serves, which before you thought was utterly ridiculous—you now find yourself holding your breath as goosebumps spread across your skin.

He denies to himself just how much he loves seeing you in the stands. Unable to stop the feeling that swells in his chest with the way you look at him. With the fan club, he knows all they see is the surface. He’s cocky enough to know he’s good-looking (and if he didn’t think so, the fan club certainly feels otherwise). But with you—you look like you want to devour him. He doesn’t know if you are aware of it or not, but you watch him with predatory intent in a way he can’t explain that makes the hair stand up on the back of his neck.

At some point, he has to admit it. He fucking loves it.

One particularly memorable game, he swears you never take your eyes off him. And he feels like he’s at the top of his game, like nothing can go wrong for him. He’s so full of adrenaline and excitement afterwards that when he finds you in the hallway, he sweeps you up into an enormous hug. Your laughter filling the air and god—he loves your laugh; he could listen to it forever.

You don’t even care how sweaty he is or really if anyone is watching. Your instinct is to wrap your arms around him and squeeze him back, your ego inflating from the glares you can feel boring into your back from the fan club. And it’s easy—far too easy to forget that all of this is fake.

Especially when he pulls away only to plant a kiss right on your mouth, his body too full of adrenaline to truly realize what he’s doing.

And instead of pushing him away, you selfishly pull him closer, fingers laced behind his neck and body slotting against him so perfectly he has to resist the urge to groan. He cradles your head, drawing out the kiss for as long as he can consider appropriate, every fiber of his being screaming at him to just confess to you.

Instead, he lets you go, both of you chalking it up to the adrenaline and the charade. Both secretly knowing it was more than that to both of you.

And you don’t speak of it again, continuing with your sham relationship like nothing has changed.

But a lot of things have changed. It’s been almost 2 months since this started, well past the time needed to convince his teammates this is real. Some part of him refuses to bring it up, unwilling to let you go and wanting to drag this on for as long as possible.  

Despite knowing that this will all have to come to an end eventually.

~

“You gotta be there!” He pouts, doing a wonderful job of obscuring your view of the notebook on the table in front of you. “There’s no way my girlfriend would miss it!”

You groan, head resting on the chair behind you. Atsumu has been trying to convince you for the better part of the hour to come to the party the volleyball team is throwing this weekend. No matter how many times you’ve expressed your disinterest, he’s relentless.

He wiggles his brows. “I’ll throw in an invitation for your roommate too,” he says, knowing full well your roommate will be a pain in your side if she finds out you got invited to this party and refrained from taking her with.

Now you sigh, annoyed that he knows you well enough to sweeten the deal like that. And it isn’t the party that is deterring you, it’s a certain blonde-haired volleyball setter that you’ve been getting far too close to lately that’s making you hesitate. Something about the atmosphere of a party and a little alcohol in both of your systems makes you uneasy. And not in a bad way.

“You promise not to ditch me?” You pout, faking the reason you don’t want to attend.

He crosses over his heart. “I swear it. And besides, I’d be crazy to let ya wander around by yerself.” He gives you a quick wink, then a kiss to your cheek and he’s off to practice, shouting over his shoulder that the party starts at nine.

Your roommate is over the moon at the invitation, insisting you can’t possibly show up right at nine. So, you and she show up fashionably late around ten. Within a few moments, Atsumu finds you and gathers you up into his arms, whispering in your ear, “You’re late, where ya been?”

You smirk. “Roommate insisted on being fashionably late.”

He just chuckles, low in his throat and directly beside your ear—a sound that makes your toes involuntarily curl in your shoes. God, if you’re already curling your toes at the sound of just his voice you’re in for a long night. After releasing you, he easily greets your roommate and takes the two of you to the kitchen where cans of various alcohols are waiting.

You swear your roommate is going to combust with joy, taking a can for herself then happily heading off towards the dance floor. You’re glad she’s pretty independent as you can already feel you’re going to be glued to Atsumu’s side the entire night. You eye the drinks, sigh, and take one for yourself. If this night’s going to be long, might as well enjoy it.

He just watches you, amused, and unable to stop himself from thinking about how good you fucking look tonight. He wanted you to be here not to keep up the act of your relationship but because he actually wants to spend time with you. Lately, it’s the highlight of most of his days, and sue him if he wants to have a little fun.

Setting an arm on your shoulder, he first parades you around the party, letting everyone see just who he’s ‘dating’ and feeling his ego boost from the looks of jealousy he garners from a few people. The teammates who have eaten lunch with you a few times are happy to see you, indulging you in a bit of chit chat and helping loosen you up.

You might’ve been embarrassed to be on Atsumu’s arm had it not felt so damn great to be met with looks of jealousy from guys and girls alike, and it was doing wonders for your self-confidence. Enough that you tap him on the arm and ask to be taken back to the kitchen for another drink. He graciously obliges you, and once both of you have another can in hand, he finds somewhere for you two to sit.

It doesn’t even occur to you how easy it is to curl up beside him, his arm around you on the back of the couch, hand resting on your opposite shoulder while the two of you observe the party in full swing.

“You guys really know how to throw a party,” you comment, nodding to the room that was completely cleared out to make room for a dance floor.

“What’s that?” He teases. “I thought you didn’t want to come!”

Poking him in the side and refusing to look up at him, you admit, “I changed my mind.”

You know you’ve dug yourself a nice little hole when he continues, “Are my ears deceiving me? Are you admitting you were wrong?”

“Spare me,” you beg, a grin on your lips nonetheless. It’s then you spot your roommate out on the dance floor, her eyes connecting with yours long enough that she starts beckoning you towards her. “Oh god,” you groan.

She doesn’t stop though, instead abandoning the dance floor and approaching you and Atsumu. “Excuse me sir, but I’m gunna have to steal her for a dance or two.”

Subconsciously you cling to Atsumu, jerking your eyes up to him as he smiles easily saying, “Of course.” Taking your arm, she pulls you up from the couch and out of Atsumu’s arms, dragging you towards the dance floor while you look back at him with a pleading expression. He only waves idly back at you, that infuriating smirk splaying across his lips.

Worming her way into the throng of bodies, she puts her hands on your hips forcing you to sway them along to the music, laughing and encouraging you to ‘let go!!’. Eventually, there’s no resisting the thumping music or the movement of bodies around you, and soon your laughter is mixing with hers as the two of you dance ridiculously with one another.

Atsumu watches from the couch, utterly entranced at your change in behavior. He’s unable to look at anyone else but you, like the rest of the party falls away and its just you on that dancefloor swaying your hips under the flashing lights. He hardly knows what to do with himself as you laugh alongside your roommate, unaware he’s watching you.

At some point, you remember the boy you came here for, and fight your way to the edge of the crowd to catch sight of him. He’s where you left him, sitting on a couch a room away, an ankle crossed over his knee, still drinking his beer and looking unbothered by your absence. You look at him a moment, sitting there in his fitted black tee and dark jeans, so casually good-looking it isn’t fair.

His dark eyes meet yours and there’s something in them that sends goosebumps prickling across your skin. You’re barely even tipsy but there must be something stirring your boldness, otherwise you would have never lifted a hand and beckoned him towards you.

He’s pinned to his seat for a moment when you motion him to join you on the dancefloor. He has an uncanny suspicion that something is going to happen out there, under the safety of the pulsing lights and hidden by the mass of bodies. But some part of him wants that, whispering that it’s all he wants. So, he rises, setting his can on a nearby table and strides out to meet you.

A fire lights in your stomach as he stops in front of you, and now that he’s here you are quite sure what to do with yourself. “You looked bored,” you lie.

“Well, my date ditched me,” he remarks. “But I like her, so I’ll let it slide.”

Your answering smile is enough to send him through the roof. And soon, you’re engulfed by the surging crowd, getting sucked into the middle of the floor, a sense of reality slipping out from beneath the two of you. His hands at your waist, your body pressed up against his, his forehead resting on yours—he’s desperate to close the gap between the two of you. Dying to kiss you, to feel your lips mold to his, fingers lacing in his hair—he wonders what kind of sounds he could elicit from you, sounds just for him, sounds that would get lost in the thumping beat.

His better sense tells him to resist. Knowing that even though you’ve kissed before, this one would be different. It’s just the two of you, free from the pressure of pretending, he wouldn’t be able to pass it off as an act. And even if he could, he isn’t sure he wants to.

All the while, you’re watching him, wondering if he’s going to take the leap. Part of you urging him to. Pathetically wanting him to smother you in his arms and the two of you can just ignore it all tomorrow. It’s seemingly what you do best.

He doesn’t though, allowing him to just enjoy this moment—your proximity, warm breath mingling with his, arms resting on his broad shoulders as the crowd undulates around you. To him, there’s nothing else around, just you and your body fitting perfectly to his, back curved to press closer to him—he’s pitifully so lost in the way you’re moving those hips making him move along with you.

He’s grateful that if you notice him struggling to keep his composure, you don’t say anything. But when he glances at your face, you’re blissfully unaware of his plight, eyes closed murmuring along to the music and relishing the moment in your own way. Your thoughts dominated by how warm he is, how solid he feels, how his hands are resting on your back.

And the two of you stay like that, until you’re broken from your reverie by one of his teammates whistling loudly at the two of you, eyebrows wiggling suggestively that Atsumu just huffs a breath out at.

“I think I need another drink,” you say, pulling away from him.

His arms feel empty now, the clamor of the party destroying the quiet and intimate bubble the two of you had created. But instead of doing anything about it, he just gives you a winning smile—one he feels is half-assed, replying, “Ditto.”

[feliix]

more than friends (with benefits) ↠ felix

↠ Felix x Reader

↠ Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst, FWB!AU

↠ Rating: M (18+) ↠ Word Count: 2k

↠ Summary: You always thought being friends with benefits with Felix was a dream. At least, that was until the benefits starting outweighing the friendship and your feelings got sucked in.

↠ Warnings: friends to lovers, fwb to lovers, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, dirty talk, creampie, praise, multiple orgasms, mutual pining

↠ A/N: hi sorry this is very unedited I might go in and fix stuff later sorry Im lazy right now and banner creds to me okay enjoy!

“So wet for me,” his deep, gravelly voice fills your ears, the room spinning around you with each buck of his hips. Teeth sinking into your lip, you grasp for the sheets beside you. His rhythm is quick, persistent, and you’re unable to catch your breath.

“Felix,” his name leaves your lips in a high pitched whine. It's getting harder to hold on with a pace like this. Had you not already cum twice just tonight, maybe your stamina would be a bit higher. But the familiar knot in your stomach is getting tighter and tighter as his thrusts persist. 

It's not long until you're coming undone around him. The force of his hips driving into you, the firm grip his hand has on your ass sets you aflame. Just a few more powerful ruts; he’s angling himself just right to hit that sweet spot deep inside you. And that's when your legs begin to shake, the force from your third orgasm taking over.

A gentle scream escapes your mouth as you ride out your high, Felix’s pace only quickening to grant himself an orgasm of his own. Oversensitivity sets in quickly causing your eyes to slam shut in dismay; mind blurry with small white stars as your pussy continues to spasm around him.

“So fucking tight,” Felix’s thrusts persist through your orgasm, leaving your legs shaking and all you can offer is the tightening spasms of your pussy. You clench around him rapidly, enticing him to come to his finish. “ Fuck, baby. Such a good slut for me.”

Unable to catch your breath as your orgasm begins to subside, the sound of his voice shooting right to your core and letting out an extra gush of arousal. Felix takes this as a sign to go harder, busing himself by pounding into you. Each time his hips meet your ass he leaves a gentle slap on your supple skin. When he bottoms out your back arches instinctively. The pressure of his tip on your sweet spot drives you wild, your fingers grabbing for the sheets underneath you to hold onto. 

But him fucking you from behind causes you to miss the sweet contortion of his face as he reaches his high. You can only feel the grip he has on your waist tighten, the pads of his fingers pressing deeply into your skin as he ruts into you with such fervor. 

He doesn’t pull out, you’ve already told him that he doesn’t have to. All that's on your mind is being filled to the brim with Felix’s cum. “Fuck,” you’re aching for his release, squeezing your core as hard as you can to ease it from him, “want you to fill me up.”

With a few especially hard thrusts Felix is collapsing over you, holding you close as his cum paints your walls. The pace of his thrusts slows as soon as his hot body presses against yours, eyes fluttering shut as you both come down from your highs.

If you didn't feel his heavy breathing fanning over the back of your neck you may have forgotten where you were. The labored sound of breathing fills the room around you. His rapid heartbeat pounds against your back; it's slowing now, that's how you know he’s about to pull out.

It's the same routine every time. He comes over, you fuck, you cuddle, he leaves.

Which is okay, the two of you aren’t dating or anything. You’re friends with benefits; emphasis on the benefits half and a little less stress on the friends part. This isn’t how it’s always been. Things used to be the other way around, ironically. 

Felix was your best friend, it wasn’t until you initiated this little arrangement that things changed. 

It’s a blur how it all came about actually. Just one day you got a little too worked up while looking at his plush lips, making a move and changing the dynamic between the two of you forever. After letting him fuck you once, you never came back from that.

The Netflix nights faded into the dark as the Netflix & chill nights came more frequently. It isn’t something that you noticed at first, you were into it, gosh, why wouldn't you be? So many girls would love to be in your place – hooking up with their highly attractive guy best friend. But over time you began to miss the relationship you used to have. Watching a movie without pausing halfway through to have sex is unheard of now. You can’t remember the last time you were actually able to do that. 

The worst part is you think you might be missing something else. The more you hookup the more you find yourself longing for him – not just his touch. When he leaves, you feel lonely. Not just the ‘I’m alone’ lonely, either. You want to be with him all the time, spend time doing fun couple-y things in addition to the hot sex you have every night. You want more from this, you need to be more than friends.

And before you know it, Felix’s body is relaxing as he pulls out of you slowly, a trail of cum following in its path beginning to drip down your thigh. A deep sigh leaves your lips when the weight of Felix’s body flops down onto the mattress next to you. You want him to know you’re bothered, you’re just too scared to bring it up on your own.

It doesn’t seem that he notices, though, he just lets out an exhausted grunt in return. In a split second reaction, you sigh again, trying to cover it up by extending your limbs to look like you’re stretching. The second one may have been a bit too dramatic; Felix noticed it this time, the look on his face riddled with confusion.

“Something wrong?”

Oh, great. Well, you got what you wanted, not having to start the conversation but you’ll definitely be the one to ruin it. You could just deflect, say ‘nothing’ and carry on the way you were – but that won’t do much to help your own feelings. 

“Actually, yeah.”

The phrase surprises you just as much as it surprises Felix, you just do a better job of covering it up than he does. His eyes are wide, head turned in your direction now as he begins to sit up. Luckily both of your clothes were in close vicinity – this probably isn't a conversation that neither of you wants to have naked.

Or have in general, for that matter. But getting dressed is a nice way to avoid eye contact, which seems to be the only thing you’ll be able to avoid in this awkward moment.

“What’s up?”

The concern in his voice is prevalent. He’s doing what he can to stay calm but deep down he’s worried. The meek thought of you cutting him off crosses Felix’s mind briefly; a pang of anxiety cuts through him like a knife. And he doesn’t do a great good job of hiding it, but thankfully you’re too caught up in putting on a shirt that you don't notice. 

Guilt starts eating away at you once you realize what you’re doing, what you’re about to tell him. This could ruin everything between you. You don’t think he’ll cut you off, no; but chances are you tell him and things will change forever. The second you speak up about it will determine your future with Felix – if there even is one.

“Have you ever thought about,” your voice stalls, letting a deep breath pause your thoughts in an attempt to ease your mind, “not just having sex anymore?”

“You wanna stop hooking up?” 

“N-no, that's not what I meant!” The words fly out of your mouth more forceful than you intended, and before you're able to stop yourself from spilling them. A puzzled look quickly crosses Felix’s face as he waits for you to continue. There’s a strange tension beginning to surround you, making your palms sweat and stomach twist. 

The air is feeling heavier as thoughts are flooding through your mind. The longer you prolong this conversation the more it's going to hurt you in the end, “Things have just...changed.” 

His head nods along with your words, bottom lip caught between his teeth as his face sinks. Somewhere along the timeline of between being best friends and friends with benefits, that friendship you had was lost. It isn't just you who realized that.

“Because I have feelings for you?”

“Y-you what?” 

You have to pinch yourself to make sure that this is real and what you heard Felix just said was true. But he finds humor in your response, a breathy chuckle leaving his lips as your jaw slowing drops. All this time and you both have been oblivious to each other's feelings…

“I thought you knew that…” His voice is soft, trailing off at the end as embarrassment creeps up. A rosy blush tints his freckled cheeks, soon covering them as he buries his head in his hands. 

“You never told me that,” you chuckle endearingly, butterflies pounding at your chest as heat rises to your cheeks, “did you know that I have feelings for you?”

“Noooo,” his voice is playful, head sinker deeper into his hands as small giggles leave his lips.

It a split-second reaction your hands are taking hold of his wrists, gently moving them from his face to look at his eyes. They’re narrowed into squints, his face squished into a smiling mess as his ears are red with embarrassment. 

“So were you just not gonna tell me?” You say in a joking tone, doing your best to ease Felix’s nerves. 

“I didn’t want to lose you.”

The mood of the room suddenly shifts. Felix’s smile is quick to fade, his cheeks settling back to normal as his eyes slightly widen. Your heart twists with his words – the thought of losing him to something so silly hits you like a million bricks. Sucking in a deep breath, he reaches for your hand, noticing the change of your expression and giving a sympathetic smile. Your eyes follow the trace of his tumb over your hand, stroking the skin lightly as you sit in silence. 

You wonder if that thought has weighed heavy on his mind for a while, how long he’s had feelings for you. It must have hurt him feeling like this was nothing more than sex to you; if only he knew.

“You wouldn’t.”

Felix’s eyes light up at your words, his hand gripping yours a little firmer now. The butterflies you first felt are still there, flapping away in your stomach each time the corners of his lips curl up into a smile. Just when you thought you couldn’t fall any harder there he is, cheeks blushing as his head turns to face you. A swift hand is brought to your neck, holding it as he effortlessly moves in towards you. 

Your heart pounds in your chest as he moves closer, focusing your eyes on each of his features; catching his tongue swipe across his bottom lip. His face is just centimeters from yours, his eyes staring down at your lips and his hot breath fanning across the soft skin of your cheeks.

“I love you,” his deep voice whispers over your lips. You aren’t given enough time to return the words before he’s moving in closer.

Time stills in slow motion when his soft lips meet yours; the world could stop turning but all that would matter is that you are here, right now, in this moment with Felix.

‘More Than Friends (With Benefits)’ is copyright 2020 @chaangbin​​, all rights reserved. Please do not repost on any platform or translate without permission.

[my-happy-little-bean]

Blossom

pairings: logan/patton (logicality) (because im trash) words: 2776 warnings: swearing, panic attack, implied toxic parental relationship, mention of an implied suicide attempt, fighting summary: 

blos·som /ˈbläsəm/

verb - to produce flowers or masses of flowers. - to develop in a promising way

Or: the five times Logan couldn’t see the flowers, and the one time he did.

a/n- hello! i hope you are all doing well during this strange quaran-time! i present to you, my first non-golden slumbers flower-related fic (still logicality tho,,, y'all can rip that pairing out of my dead, cold hands :pp). i had a really strange dream last night that had something to do with this concept and hey, you know what i do with dreams :p

i hope you enjoy it ^v^

read on ao3~

---------

dedicated to the one bit of starlight that always remembers to water my garden 

~*~

1. 

Logan was halfway up the porch stairs when Patton mentioned the flowers for the first time. 

“I’m telling you, Lo!” Patton followed Logan into their new house, carrying boxes behind him. “They were little yellow daffodils, just sprouting behind you as you walked! It was so pretty!” 

“Patton, it takes twelve to fifteen weeks for daffodils to bloom after chilling,” Logan said pointedly, setting his own boxes down by an old, tattered couch in the living room. “Besides, even if there were some growing, I would be more concerned that there is something prompting growth underneath our house.”

Patton giggled, putting his boxes down beside Logan’s. He wrapped his arms around Logan’s waist from the back, going on the tips of his toes to kiss the back of his neck. 

“Our home,” he murmured in Logan’s skin. Logan smiled. 

“Yes,” he said, looking around at their surroundings. “It is...a start.”

“It’ll be more than that soon enough!” Patton chirped, taking Logan’s hand and spinning himself underneath it with a squeal. Logan couldn’t help smile, moving his arm more purposefully to properly spin Patton around until he was standing right in front of him. 

“I’m so happy,” Patton said with a sigh and that lopsided smile; the smile that proved to Logan that he could at least feel love. 

“I am happy that you are happy, dear.” He pressed his forehead against Patton’s and kissed his nose lightly. “Now, we must continue on, or we will be late to the neighbourhood barbeque Janene invited us to.”

“Janene?”

“Our neighbour, remember?” 

Patton made a small ‘ah’ noise and nodded enthusiastically, already skipping past Logan to grab some more boxes outside. 

As he watched him go, Logan sighed; he could definitely love. He could love with all of the love the world had to offer him, for as long as they were offering. He could love the softest, most gentle creature he knew; one who moved with such grace and one whose mind and heart and soul was overwhelmingly admirable.

Yes, he could love him. 

And he loved him. 

- 

“Logan! There’s pink roses on our roof!”

---------

2.

According to Janene, the whole neighbourhood could see the flowers. 

It was a special kind of phenomenon that no one outside the small town of Khloris ever noticed. But if you had a house on its terrain, you apparently had flowers growing underneath your feet. Upon mentioning Patton’s observations at the neighbourhood barbeque, Janene had explained the rumours that it was the land’s way of “observing” or “understanding” its habitants. Whatever that meant.

Logan found it borderline infuriating that no one had pursued further research on the matter; that people just walked around their neighbourhoods, complimenting each others’ seemingly magical gardens.

What was even more infuriating was that everyone just...accepted it. Embraced it, even. As if it was normal to hallucinate flowers growing on vines across your windows.

He was still unable to see these flowers, if they even existed. And while he wasn’t keen on keeping a sense of distrust between himself and his partner (he would have stopped playing along if Patton shared his same view) he couldn’t help but remain skeptical. 

(He would never admit it to Patton, but the reason he had purchased that rather expensive machine off of Amazon was so he could test the contents of the air in certain areas of the town. It didn’t prove anything abnormal, but it was an interesting experiment. 

He read his findings out loud to Patton one night, and Patton listened to every word.

And when Logan left for work the next morning, Patton complimented the chrysanthemums trailing behind him.)

Still, he didn’t have much choice other than to embrace the absurdity floating in their town. Besides, it was mostly harmless. And, more often than not, it served as the backdrop to some of the most joyful moments they had. 

- 

“Why, yellow!” Patton exclaimed as he greeted Logan on the steps to their house. “Someone has an extra poppy in their step today, huh?”

“First of all, I believe you mean ‘hello’; the standard greeting which is first exchanged between individuals seeing each other,” Logan hummed. Then, he leaned over to kiss Patton’s cheek. “Second of all...hello, dearest.”

“Hiya!” Patton giggled. Logan watched as the spot he kissed flushed a soft shade of pink. “How was work?”

Logan couldn’t help but smile. “It was...very satisfactory.”

“Very satisfactory?” Patton rocked back and forth on the heels of his feet, immediately ecstatic. “Not just satisfactory?”

“Mhm.”

“Ooh that and the yellow poppies behind you! You must have good news!” Patton beamed. “Come, come sit with me! Tell me all about your very satisfactory day!”

Usually, Logan would politely decline, telling him that he had to first shower and prepare dinner as he always did after work. And it was almost second-nature to ignore the ever-growing amount of flower observations from Patton. 

But he couldn’t help but oblige upon seeing Patton rush over to their small, wooden porch swing, nearly knocking into his ball of yarn and newest knitting project. That and he did have good news. Very good news, in fact. 

“Tell me about your day first,” Logan insisted as he sat down beside him, setting his briefcase at his feet. “I would rather celebrate a mutual achievement than selfishly intrude with my singular one.”

“Intrude?” Patton nudged him lightly. “Well, you’re not being int-rude if you do! So don’t worry about that kind of intrusion-confusion you’re on about, mister!”

“...did you eat the cookies Janene sent us?”

“Several.”   

Logan shook his head. “She puts too much chocolate in those, you know. And those pastries surpass the recommended amount of sugar one should digest in a day.”

“I know! ”

Logan couldn’t help but laugh at how starry-eyed his Patton looked. Patton gently rocked the swing back and forth, then lifted his legs to sit cross-legged on the cushions once it gained enough momentum. 

“Anyway, my day was alright!” Patton chirped. “Had a breakthrough with a client today! It’s been a slow couple of weeks, but I think things are looking up!” 

“That is fantastic news, Patton.” Logan leaned his head against Patton’s shoulder, placing a hand on his thigh and smiling. “You’re doing an exceptional job.”

“Aw, Lo!” Patton giggled again. “You’re gonna make me grow peonies everywhere.”

Second-nature. Logan just chuckled.

“Now! We must celebrate you!” Patton lifted Logan’s head off his shoulder and held his hands into his own. “Tell me everything!”

A pause. Logan felt as if he too was holding his breath.

“Well, do you recall that promotion I recently inquired about at my work?”

Patton’s eyes widened. 

“Shut up.”

Logan broke into a wide grin, finally exhaling as he nodded. Patton squealed, practically lunging at Logan to give him a tight hug.

“Shut up shut up shut uppp!!!”

“Do you...actually want me to–”

“No!” Patton gasped, pulling back to hold Logan in front of him by his shoulders. His grin almost hurt to look at. “Never ever ever shut up!”

“Then why did you–”

“I’m excited, you goofball!” Patton brushed the hair out of Logan’s eyes with a small giggle. “Besides, if I’m shushing anything, it’s the guilty feeling in your head that I can hear from a mile away.

(Fuck. He could love him forever.)

“Be proud of yourself, silly.” Patton wrapped Logan into another hug. Despite being shaken around so much, Logan couldn’t help but laugh. “Gosh, you deserve this so so much– I’m so proud of you.”

Logan’s breath hitched. 

“You…” 

Patton drew himself back ever-so-slightly, leaving a mere inch between him and Logan. He smiled. 

“I’m always proud of you, Logan.” He kissed Logan’s nose, sending a rush of warmth throughout his entire being. 

He then looked down at the spaces between each wooden plank of the porch and smiled. 

“Peonies,” he whispered, resting his forehead against Logan’s. “I’m happy too, Lo. So so so happy.”

---------

3.

“Patton, take a deep breath.”

“He–” Patton gasped, wrapping his arms around himself– “how– I can’t–”

“Patton.” Logan took the phone out of Patton’s hand and held them, squeezing gently. “Patton, let’s sit down, please–”

“Don’t touch me!“ Patton sobbed, pulling his hands back and covering his mouth. Tears rolled down his cheeks and over his hands. He began backing away from Logan. “It’s– I’m a– I’m–”

“Patton–”

“Fuck,” Patton choked out, stumbling past Logan and heading in the direction of their backyard. “I can’t– I need–”

Logan just nodded, carefully catching up to him and clearing out as much clutter as he could so Patton wouldn’t get hurt. He slid open their backyard door for Patton to rush through. 

The cool, evening air hit Logan almost sharply, and he hoped that Patton could feel the same thing. He watched from a hesitant distance as Patton fell to his knees on their grass, folding into himself like a ball and clutching at each strand. 

(He doesn’t need you to make this worse.  "You don’t know how to feel, after all.”)

 “Hey,” Logan finally said. He walked over to the grass and sat a comfortable distance away from Patton. “Is this enough space?”

Patton didn’t lift his head, but he nodded. Logan sighed. 

“...What happens outside your workplace is not your responsibility.”

Patton let out a huge sob; one that felt like it echoed through the whole neighbourhood. 

Fuck. Logan cleared his throat.

“Tell me about the flowers,” he blurted out. Patton lifted his head slightly. 

“The–”

“The flowers,” Logan said again, even less sure of himself. “Tell me what they...what they look like to you right now.”

Patton let out a scratchy laugh. “You don’t believe in the stupid flowers.”

Logan’s heart broke. 

(He didn’t, but he believed in him.)

“Tell me about them anyway,” he said insistently. “I assume they are in our presence, no?”

Patton sighed and, after seemingly deliberating his offer, sat up; his hands firmly gripping the grass they were sitting on. He looked around him, all spacey in that way that used to scare Logan. (It still does, but he at least knows enough about it that it’s not as worrisome.)

Finally, he spoke up. 

“I– I see marigolds,” he whispered. “And– and yellow carnations.”

Logan closed his eyes in thought for a second and then opened them with a sigh. 

“My dear,” he whispered, scooting a bit closer to him. “It is normal to feel grief and disappointment. Those are common reactions to a tragic occurrence such as this. I am so deeply sorry that you have to experience this because you do not deserve this, my starlight.”

Patton curled even more into himself.

“But what is important is that he is still here,” Logan continued. “And I am going to be here to assist you with whatever you need in order for you to cope during this difficult time.”

He watched as Patton took a deep breath; the first one in hours. When he exhaled, he felt as if the air around him grew still and less frigid. 

“I already know with absolute certainty that I will witness you lift yourself up when we make it through this; stronger than you were ever before.” He moved closer to him again. “You did not fail, no – we are simply just trying again.”

A beat of silence. Patton sniffled. “T-There’s purple hyacinths now.”

Logan sadly smiled. A common one with Patton.

“You do not have to apologize.” He patted the space next to him. “I’m here. And so are you.”

Patton sobbed a bit more, but eventually smiled through his tears and curled up in Logan’s lap. Logan held Patton and leaned over to press a kiss in his hair. 

“I got you,” he murmured in his curls. He felt Patton settle into his lap, the tenseness in his shoulders loosening. He ran his hands through his hair, kissing it again and again every few seconds. 

“Forever?” He heard Patton mumble. He smiled. 

“And a little bit after that,” he whispered back. 

And they sat there for a while, underneath the starry skies above them, in what Logan assumed was a sea of yellow and purple flowers. Though, he was never really sure.

- 

Later on, Patton asked him how he knew what each flower meant. And Logan, who would never admit to researching floriography (or to any accomplishment at all), just said it was a coincidence.

---------

4.

Patton rarely got mad; but when he did, Logan could only assume there were petunias everywhere.

“You–”

“Patton, please, not today–”

“NO!” His voice bounced off the walls and hit Logan in the chest. He shut up immediately. “Just...please– please tell me you’re joking.”

Logan averted his glance. “...I had to speak with them.”

“With your parents?! “ Patton screamed. “Who– who haven’t even bothered to call you in the last, what, five years?! “

“Patton, I–”

“You promised you’d never talk to them again,” Patton hissed. “I thought we agreed that– that it’d be wrong to. Because they were miserable people– people who– who made you miserable.”

He stung more than any thorn ever could. Logan tried to imagine some growing through the floors, as if trying to sympathize with what he could be experiencing. Of course he was angry. What Logan did was stupid. And he didn’t even mention the outcome…

“They’re my parents, Patton,” he said instead. He tried to plant his feet to the floor firmly, but Patton’s pacing made him shrivel up where he stood. 

“They are not your parents,” Patton snapped. His breathing was sharp and quick. “Parents–  parents don’t just tell their kid that they don’t have the capacity to feel– parents don’t kick their kid out of their fucking house and– and abandon them and leave them to be fixed by someone else.”

Logan’s breath hitched. 

“I…” He tried not to let it hurt him, but seeing Patton also wince at his own words made him feel somewhat validated in his pain. Still, he stood his ground. 

“I did not ask you to fix me,” Logan whispered, just as sharply; as if to get him back. 

Stupid.

“Logan.” Patton’s voice was even more troubling when it was quiet. “How could you...”

“It’s true.” (Why was he still talking?!) “I didn’t need you to–”

But he never finished. 

Because that’s all it took for Patton to leave.

-

5.

Patton found Logan outside in their backyard, surrounded by roses.

Roses of every colour; yellow, pink, blue, black, and white. The grass underneath his feet was bright green– in fact, everything around him was bright. 

“L-Logan, what–”

And that was when he saw the ring.

“Patton.” It came out as a loud, choked sob. 

Patton took a shaky step towards Logan, who shakily got on one knee.

“What are you…”

To his surprise, Logan laughed. 

“We– we were never really good at appropriate timing, were we?” 

Patton covered his mouth with wide eyes.

“I called my parents,” Logan began shakily, “because I wanted to tell them that I was going to marry you.”

Patton’s breath hitched. 

“You were right,” he continued, wiping his eyes. “Parents don’t do any of the things you had mentioned a-and I know I broke that promise we made out of good intent but…” He sighed. “But they are my parents. And I wanted them to be part of this moment.”

He closed his eyes, almost shamefully.

“Ultimately, it was out of spite, wasn’t it?” He laughed quietly. “In the end, I just wanted to prove to them that I could.”

“C-Could what?”

Logan stood up from his place and smiled. “That I could feel.”

A wide grin spread across Patton’s face.

“Oh, Logan…” He sobbed, rushing over to hold Logan’s hands. He giggled as Logan’s glasses fogged up from him crying, and he reached over to take them off, opting to rest them lopsided on his head. Logan laughed again through his tears. 

“Patton,” he whispered, looking up in his eyes. “I feel everything with you. I– I feel perfect, unadulterated happiness and love when I am with you. I feel joy, I feel peace, I feel...I feel things that I didn’t even know exist– ”

He held Patton’s hands and took a deep breath.

“I feel everything for– for you.” Logan rested his forehead against Patton’s and broke into laughter as their tears fell to the ground. “I want to feel everything with you– the ups, the downs, everything– for the rest of my life.”

---------

1.

And as Patton kissed him, Logan watched as a rainbow of colours blossomed around their home.

[kalperun]

Zebra (BSD, aku/atsu)

To my dear friend @whyis-every-username-taken and her wonderful BSD OC James Michener who can read the memories of people by looking into their eyes. It is also to be noted that he helped Akutagawa get out of the port mafia and join another ability group known as the Degenerates and helped solidify the relationship between Atsushi and Akutagawa.

Atsushi was never one to blatantly ditch unfinished work. Work that only needed a couple more pen strokes to pass Kunikida’s microscopic gaze of judgement before going on a lunch break. But these past few weeks, as soon as he saw that the clock struck noon, meaning that he was now allowed to leave for his hourly scheduled lunch, Atsushi found himself jumping straight out of his seat, towing his bag with him, and heading out the door in one quick fluid motion.

A fluid motion that should be reserved for signing his name at the bottom of his paperwork, something that he tended to forget. And Kunikida kept reminding him of that fact with increasing annoyance.

Besides Kunikida’s throbbing vein in his temple that Atsushi was positive would explode one day, it was as if he was more than eager to leave the closing walls of the ADA. As if he was more than jubilant to be rid of his co-workers; an excitement that was equal to Dazai’s past happiness when he finally found a method of suicide that was both a marvelous experience as it was completely painless.

But Atsushi never meant anything offensive by his quick need to leave as soon as the second hand met ‘noon’. He simply had places to be. Places and perhaps also something that he could be tending to. The ADA wasn’t his entire life after all. He had school and other people such as James to meet up with.

So when people such as Tanizaki raised an eyebrow at his rushed departure, and Ranpo merely stared at Atsushi with a look that told him he was more than willing to keep quiet in exchange for some candy, Atsushi learned to ignore it but always come back with said candy.

Mostly because some things were just not meant to be told. Some things were just meant to remain secret. It wasn’t necessarily lying. He simply wasn’t speaking about his lunches ime endeavors with a certain person.

That certain person who had pulled him straight into the alleyway by the ADA, hand covering his mouth as Atsushi held back a yelp until he realized who it was he was looking at.

“Were you followed?” Akutagawa asked without wasting a second as he released Atsushi, taking a moment to skillfully glance out the alleyway while remaining attached to the shadows.

“I know I wasn’t part of the port mafia and had all that ninja training you had, but I am part of the ADA,” Atsushi took a moment to remind. Although, he was slightly annoyed at the fact that Akutagawa had once again unexpectedly pulled him out from the street with unnecessary force. But on the upside at least he hadn’t used Rashoumon to do it. This time.

Akutagawa simply returned back to Atsushi’s side, an eyebrow quirked at the weretiger before he started to walk. “You’re skills in stealth are still mediocre at best.”

Okay, perhaps Akutagawa was a bit on the bullseye there but that didn’t mean that Atsushi wasn’t going to be defensive about it. “I’m not bad. It’s just not being in my tiger form can make it - difficult.” Weak argument, but at least Akutagawa was pitying him enough to not shatter the last defense he had against his pride. So in a last ditch effort to keep the ex-mafioso from speaking further he grabbed his hand, his arm pressed against the others own as they made their way out the opposite end of the alley, walking briskly down the street.

“Any plans on where you want to eat this time?” Atsushi asked as he looked up at the other. “I know you seemed to like that curry place from last week. We could go there again.”

All he received in response though was a rather unresponsive hum. Atsushi didn’t mind though. Akutagawa had things to look out for currently. Such as other ADA agents going out on lunch break. Only just one concern, but the biggest concern you can have when you’re trying to keep your relationship a secret.

“This way.” Akutagawa suddenly spoke up, gripping Atsushi’s hand tighter as he kept his head low, hand now wrapping around Atsushi’s shoulders urging him to do the same as the sides of their bodies were pressed against each other. It didn’t help that Atsushi had such distinctive hair, but it did help a bit when using their guise as a couple to allow attention to wash over them.

But it wasn’t a guise. And that was made evident as soon as they found themselves on a park bench, store bought bento boxes sitting between them as they ate their lunch in relative peace. There was nothing but the cool wind against their backs, miraculous shade casting over them thanks to the hanging cherry blossom tree that would not bloom until months to come.

This is what Atsushi has been doing everyday for the past few weeks.

Ever since James got them both to be cordial with each other, and to talk, they started to meet up on their own. After all, Dazai was pushing for them to be partners, not in the way Chuuya and him are ‘partners’ currently, but partners out in the field. Because with their abilities combined they were nearly unstoppable.

So with Dazai training them to be partners and then James pushing them towards toleration of each other and then friends...well. That’s how Akutagawa and him ended up here. Sharing a bench and eating bento boxes together as they began yet another lunch date.

“You said yesterday that you had a mission with the Degenerates. How did it go?” Atsushi asked around a mouthful of rice, never really having the courtesy to swallow then talk. A flaw that Akutagawa has pointed out but never held against him. Atsushi already lacked enough confidence in the area of dating. Let alone dating your suppose-to-be mortal enemy. Best not to think about such things.

Akutagawa huffed, his bento box set neatly on his lap as he regarded the question almost thoughtfully. Atsushi could just see the creases between his almost-existent eyebrows as he figured out how to answer. If Atsushi lacked in dating his once-upon-a-time-enemy - who tried to kill him multiple times but the action was mutual - then Akutagawa definitely lacked in the same area.

It was unusual at first. For the both of them. From trying to be each other’s demise, to then sharing coffee, and then kissing… He wondered if this was what it was like for Chuuya and Dazai.

“It was fine,” Akutagawa admitted. “It’s just sometimes strange remembering that the Special Abilities Division used to watch me closely, and now I’m technically working for them.”

Atsushi laughed at that. “A lot of things have changed. But perhaps for the better…” He let the sentence hang though, as if hoping for Akutagawa to continue, which to his credit he did.

“I know. Between me and you, then Gin and I being apart of the Degenerates. The only thing that hasn’t changed is Dazai pushing us to be the next soukoku.”

“I don’t think that’s too bad though. As long as it doesn’t interfere too much with my school work and things at the ADA, I am sure we can achieve the goal of being what Yokohama needs.”

“The next soukoku?” Akutagawa asked for clarification.

“Yeah, except the name doesn’t fit.” Atsushi thought out loud as he stuffed another rice ball into his mouth. “I mean - double black? I contrast that color and you have that whole Rogue from X-men hairstyle going on.”

“And I am sure that you must know that I can’t understand a single word you’re saying.” Akutagawa deadpanned as he set aside his now empty bento box, unable to hear the weretiger over the cluster of rice in his mouth.

Atsushi almost choked as a laugh tried to build its way out through his throat, but with a well-timed swallow he was able to avoid the embarrassment. “I was saying that the name ‘soukoku’ doesn’t fit.”

Akutagawa paused in thought before giving a slow nod of agreement. “I suppose I see your point. But it would be simpler to just go with ‘shin soukoku’ and move on.”

“Sure, it’s simpler but it’s not as fun.” Atsushi argued before it dawned on him. “Oh! I got it!” He stated as he turned his entire body to Akutagawa, mustering the most serious face he possessed and with - miraculously - an unwavering voice he said, “Zebra.”

Akutagawa stared at Atsushi. “No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Atsushi,” Akutagawa breathed out his first name. “We’re not calling ourselves zebra.” He tried to urge as Atsushi only started laughing. “It’s not funny.”

“But it is!”

“We’re not calling ourselves zebra.” Akutagawa said with a tone of finality, causing Atsushi to pout as he finished off his own bento box.

“You have no idea what great opportunity you’re missing. Zebras are majestic creatures.”

“Uh huh,” Akutagawa hummed with the amount of fucks he gave which was zero.

“And,” Atsushi waved his hand in the air as he stood up with his empty bento box, his bag slung across his shoulder. “It fits our white and black aesthetic.”

With an over dramatic eye roll that could send the earth spinning the other way, Akutagawa only shook his head as he fell into step with Atsushi, both of them taking a moment to throw away their bento boxes before continuing on.

“I think James would approve.”

Akutagawa quirked an eyebrow. “Even if James was offered the option between a million yen or adopting an orphaned ability user who would kill him in the middle of the night, he would still choose the orphaned ability user. So his ‘approval’ does little to change my mind.”

Atsushi snorted as he let out a laugh, nudging Akutagawa with his shoulder as he did so. “And yet here you are, out of the port mafia because of his influence. I smell a liar.”

Atsushi could feel the small glare that Akutagawa was giving him, but he knew it was playful and he didn’t mean anything by it. “Speaking of James, you haven’t looked him in the eye have you?”

Chewing on his bottom lip he gave a nod as he sighed heavily. “I think he knows I’m avoiding his gaze on purpose at this point. But you have seen him a couple times this past couple weeks, haven’t you? Was he suspicious of you as well?”

A small shake of his head led to a small breath of relief for the weretiger. “Partly. James does tend to think the best of us. So I don’t think he’ll identify this as distrust or malice but he would be worried. He might end up asking what’s wrong eventually…”

“And when he does what do we say? I don’t like lying.” Atsushi wasn’t even good at lying to begin with. And lying to people when he had their trust? He wasn’t keen on breaking that trust. James being no exception to that rule whatsoever. “Even all this sneaking around feels like lying. But I don’t want to tell everyone about us. At least not now.”

Atsushi knew that people wouldn’t mind him and Akutagawa being together, but Atsushi also wanted to keep this to himself just for now because he didn’t feel ready for his relationship with him to come out yet. He knew that Gin knew about them, and Atsushi didn’t mind and actually liked having at least one person know, but for now, he just had to figure things out.

Between school, the ADA, becoming Dazai’s dream team, Atsushi needed to figure out where his relationship with Akutagawa fit in this entire mess that was called his ‘life’. On the bright side Akutagawa understood that and the sneaking around gave some excitement to the relationship.

With the Degenerate sneaking into his apartment at night so the both of them could watch some bad rom-com, or just talk and cuddle in bed together, or just go out like this together, it was nice and fun. Like Dazai’s suicides it was a marvelous experience and completely painless.

“We wait then. That’s all there is to it.” Akutagawa’s words made it all sound so simple, but at some point even he knew that Atsushi was going to need a small push for this to work.

Smiling brightly at the man beside him clothed in all black, with a sleek pair of sunglasses, he wrapped his arm around his. “Looks like we’ll make good partners after all. But about zebra-” Atsushi didn’t get to finish the sentence as quite suddenly he was pulled into the nearest alleyway for the second time that day, Akutagawa pressing Atsushi against the wall, Rashoumon wrapped around his mouth.

It made Atsushi flush at the rather intimate position he had put them into. With Akutagawa’s body pressing against his own so Atsushi was flat against the wall, and Rashoumon prohibiting him to speak, his ears went red at the possibility of someone seeing them in such a compromising position.

Rashoumon retreated, Akutagawa putting a finger to his lips as Atsushi in that moment, with his brain on the fritz, asked the dumbest thing that could come to mind. “Is this about the Zebra?”

The look that he received only had Atsushi start laughing, causing the Degenerate to press his hand against his mouth as a very familiar voice could be heard passing by the alleyway.

“James, we’re going to be late! Making that stop for your slushee made us behind schedule. We’re already thirty-two seconds late.” That was without a doubt the strict and stern voice of Kunikida that at one point probably made multiple poor math students he used to teach piss in their seats.

“Well, to be fair, I wasn’t just going to refuse the nice lady who bumped into me after she knocked my other slushee out of my hand. She was insistent, and wanted to buy me another one.” And that was James. Just James. That’s all that was needed to know based on the wreck of a history professor.

“She was hitting on you.” Kunikida supplied.

“Yes, She was nice - wait - She was what?” Came James’ confused voice.

“I know. I’m just as surprised as you are.” Kunikida responded curtly, clearly busy with his overzealous schedule.

The two familiar and passing voices slipped away past the entrance of the alley, now too far to be able to hear coherent words, leaving behind two teenagers who were still entangled with each other against a wall, their shoulders shaking.

Atsushi lost himself into laughing against Akutagawa’s shoulder the other joining lightly in the contagious hilarity of the situation as they then slipped down to the ground, just the both of them together, laughing, on a filthy ground without a care in the world.

It was for that very reason when Atsushi found a stuffed animal zebra on his desk the next morning - no name of the sender but he already knew who sent it - he named it ‘slushee’.

@tradrishanally a fic for your cute fic war as well!

[sineala]

Hi! I really love your fic, and sorry if this is a bit of an awkward question, feel free to ignore it, but which comics would you recommend as ‘essential’ stony reading? You seem very knowledgeable about them :)

That’s not an awkward question at all! And thank you!

When people who haven’t really read comics ask me what comics they should read to get into Steve/Tony, I usually say that they should read Captain America: Man Out of Time – it’s short, it’s modern, it redoes Steve’s origin story in an interesting and approachable way. and it has some very sweet Steve & Tony moments. If you read it and like it, it’s probably worth seeking out other comics. But the thing is, I wouldn’t say it’s “essential” Steve/Tony reading, because it hasn’t really made an impact on fandom either in its plot events or its characterization of Steve & Tony. Like, if you go to AO3, you’re not going to find a lot of fic specifically about it. (Also it’s a retelling so it’s… not really canon in exactly the same way as the regular comics.)

So when you say you want “essential” comics, I am interpreting it as the comics that are basically the greatest hits of Steve/Tony fandom. Comics everyone is expected to know because they are featured again and again in fanfiction and because they have shaped our understanding of Steve and Tony’s characters. That’s what I would consider essential. I mean, much as I love, say, v3, you can probably get by without reading most of v3 because most of it doesn’t show up in fanfic (although you may eventually want to know who Rumiko and Tiberius are and what the deal is with the Sentient Armor).

I’m going to stick the list under a Read More.

Anyway, here’s a stab at making such a list for 616:

Avengers vol 1 #4: Necessary reading for any Steve/Tony fan. The Avengers find an iceberg, and there’s a body in the iceberg wearing red, white and blue, and… yeah, welcome to the future, Captain America. The first voice he hears is Tony’s!

Tales of Suspense vol 1 #58: Marvel had distribution agreements throughout most of the 1960s that limited the number of different comic titles they could sell; as a result, instead of solo books Marvel had a bunch of anthology titles (Tales to Astonish, Strange Tales, Journey into Mystery…) that became “split books” with solo tales of two different heroes. Tales of Suspense had up to this point featured Iron Man, but with this issue it became an Iron Man/Captain America split book, and in this issue Iron Man and Cap team up to fight the Chameleon, by which I mean that the Chameleon impersonates Captain America and Tony accidentally fights the real Cap. Whoops.

Nomad (Captain America vol 1 #180-183): You should probably start reading at about #176 for context. Anyway, Steve is disillusioned with the government after he discovers that Richard Nixon, who commits suicide in front of him, is the leader of the evil Secret Empire, and so he gives up being Captain America and decides to be Nomad. He’s only Nomad for about four issues, but what a glorious four issues it is.

Demon in a Bottle (Iron Man vol 1 #120-128): The original arc that established Tony’s alcoholism. If you see references in fanfic to an incident with the Carnelian ambassador, that’s this arc.

Avengers vol 1 #216: Steve finds out that Tony is Iron Man, because they’re on an Avengers mission and the villain magically strips Tony out of his armor, leaving him standing there wearing only his underwear.

The second drinking arc (Iron Man vol 1 #160-200): Tony starts drinking again and loses everything, to the point where he’s living on the streets in a cardboard box. Rhodey becomes Iron Man and Obadiah Stane takes over the company. This is the drinking arc you want to read. Highlights include #172, in which Steve bridal-carries Tony from a burning building, and #182, in which Tony nearly dies in a blizzard.

Armor Wars (Iron Man vol 1 #225-231): Tony tries to steal his technology back from everyone who has it; you will want to read #228, the issue where Steve tries to stop him. (Stories referencing an incident with the Guardsmen are talking about this.)

Operation Galactic Storm: This is a massive crossover from the early 90s where the Kree and Sh’iar have a fight and Steve and Tony disagree about whether to kill the Kree Supreme Intelligence. You don’t need to read the entire crossover; the part you do need to read is the issue afterwards, Captain America vol 1 #401, in which Steve and Tony make their apologies to each other.

Tales of Suspense vol 2 #1: This is a one-shot issue from the mid-90s in which Steve and Tony team up; its claim to fame is that it includes Tony thinking the following line about Steve: "Captain America. Steve. I look at your handsome face, into your clear azure eyes, and as ever, I feel the same guilty envy.“ (Steve also thinks similarly complimentary things about Tony – it’s very much mutual admiration society/mutual inferiority complex.)

Captain America/Iron Man 1998 Annual: Tony wipes Steve’s mind! Steve finds out and is mad! Then they fight MODOK, get lei’d, and make up at the end. It’s a lot of fun.

Red Zone (Avengers vol 3 #65-70): Tony exposes himself to a deadly disease because Steve is more important than he is and he has to give Steve mouth-to-mouth to save his life. Includes giant panels of their lips touching.

Civil War: You should really read Civil War and everything after.

Avengers Prime: This is a miniseries taking place after Steve comes back to life where Steve and Tony end up on an adventure in the Nine Realms together, Tony gets naked, and also they get some closure about Civil War. They hug it out at the end.

One Night in Madripoor (Captain America & Iron Man #633-635): Steve and Tony team up to fight Batroc, MODOK, and robot bees in Madripoor. There’s a lot of banter.

Avengers vol 5 & New Avengers vol 3: After Civil War, Hickman’s Avengers run is probably the second most popular canon setting for comics Steve/Tony. It’s controversial in fandom, and there’s no happy ending… but you can’t deny that it is absolutely about Steve & Tony’s relationship. A hundred issues of pain and betrayal!

Civil War II: The Oath: Okay, yeah, so, I think we can all agree that Secret Empire (the recent one, not the original one) was a terrible idea and it was a very bad decision to make Steve a fascist dictator – but “The Oath” did give us Steve canonically declaring his love for Tony, so, you know, it has that going for it.

The Cap-IM Tumblr maintains a list of Slashy Moments if you’d like to see panels from most of these (and more). Also, the 18+ 616 Steve/Tony Discord maintains a list of resources and summaries of these and more issues.

I also specifically want to say a little more about Civil War because I think of all the storylines you could read it is probably the most essential for Steve/Tony fans. CW is where the pairing really got its start and I think it’s the most popular setting for stories that engage with a particular era of canon. So if you are going to read one era, Civil War should probably be it.

I recommend starting with New Avengers vol 1, which as a bonus is very good for Steve & Tony up until about #20, when Civil War hits. The Cap and IM runs of the time are also generally viewed as very good and you should definitely read them – that would be Cap v5, by Brubaker, which has the Winter Soldier arc, and IM v4, which starts with Extremis and then continues on to Execute Program and then reaches Civil War.

You are going to want to read the main Civil War storyline but if you’re a Steve and Tony fan honestly most of the fun is in the tie-ins. My abbreviated Civil War reading list is as follows:

Civil War #1-7: You’re gonna need to read this.

Captain America vol 5 #22-24: Honestly I don’t remember most of this but you might as well.

Iron Man vol 4 #13-14: Tony’s motivations are explored, Steve and Tony attempt to come to an agreement during the war, and also Happy Hogan dies and it’s sad.

Captain America/Iron Man: Casualties of War: One of the two key issues you absolutely must read, in which Steve and Tony meet during the war and try to talk things out, and they also summarize what they’re doing and why and basically their entire friendship up to this point.

Civil War: Front Line #11: Toward the end of the war, reporters interview Steve and Tony. Tony lies on the floor and cries. I think I would summarize the post-CW era as a whole as “Tony cries a lot.”

Captain America vol 5 #25: The one where Steve dies.

Civil War: The Confession: READ THIS. If you read nothing else, read this. This is why we have a Steve/Tony ship. This is the essential issue.

Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America #1-5: Features Steve’s funeral. Well, both of Steve’s funerals. If you guessed that they also involve Tony crying a lot, you would be right.

What If? Fallen Son: Mostly worth it for the cover art.

What If? Civil War: After Steve’s funeral, a mysterious stranger shows Tony two worlds in the multiverse where the war could have gone differently. More tears for Tony!

After that, you probably also need to keep up with New Avengers/Mighty Avengers plus the major events up through Steve’s return to life – that would be Secret Invasion (the Skrulls invade), Dark Reign (Norman Osborn runs everything), and Siege (Osborn decides to invade Asgard; Steve comes back for this one). Steve’s return to life is in a miniseries called Captain America Reborn.

I would also recommend the rest of Iron Man vol 4 that takes place after Civil War – it’s renamed to Iron Man: Director of SHIELD because that’s the job Tony gets after Steve dies. Tony is basically a grieving mess. There’s also a miniseries called Avengers/Invaders in which Tony and the post-CW Avengers meet the WWII Invaders – including Steve – and it is a glorious pile of feelings and time travel and sadness.

So, uh, yeah, that’s a lot of issues but honestly I think if you get up to speed on Civil War and the couple years after you will be able to understand a lot of where fandom is coming from. (And then if you read Hickman’s run that’s basically the other run you are most likely to need to know.)

If you can find a copy of it – it’s out of print, alas – there’s a really great trade called Iron Man/Captain America (not Civil War: Captain America/Iron Man, that’s the one with the CW tie-ins, but you will probably want it too) that reprints several pre-Civil War issues focusing on Steve & Tony, including several of the ones mentioned above, like ToS 58, the 1998 annual, and the issues of Armor Wars and the second drinking arc that have Steve in them. Notably, I think it’s the only place that the ToS v2 one-shot (the “azure eyes” issue) has ever been reprinted. 

(I take that back, the ToS one-shot is now in a trade called Avengers: Tales to Astonish. And now that I’m looking, the ToS one-shot is now on Marvel Unlimited and comiXology. Sweet!)

I hope that helps!

[jasonbrennerold]

wyd if i told u to do 1-38 👀

the ‘be honest’ meme / @afterburied

ok below the cut bc this is a Long One

1. What would prevent you from following someone?

generally speaking just kinda if our writing doesn’t mesh? but also on different blogs i have different kind of vibes if you know what i mean? like here on jason i’m not likely to follow historical/extreme fantasy blogs if they don’t have some form of modern verse bc i just don’t see him in those settings, i also tend to avoid anyone who says they dont like multis/ocs even if it doesn’t apply on the blog im on bc uh we love multis and ocs here. sometimes if a blogs new i wont follow, but sometimes i will it just depends on the vibe lmao. sometimes aesthetics/etc will play a role but mostly it’s just based on rules/meshability

2. Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why?

yes and no? like i won’t shun anyone for having “bad” aesthetics or anything, but i hold my own personal aesthetic to a higher regard? like, if someones aesthetic makes things unreadable/impossible to navigate then i hate it, but like i don’t care about other peoples aesthetic that much. if it’s pretty i definitely see the blog in a better light which im trying not to do, but mostly it’s my own aesthetics that matter to me and that’s just because i simply need to be perceived positively at all times

3. What current rp trend do you hate?

i don’t think there are any i really hate? as long as trends aren’t harmful i dont care much.

4. How do you explain rp to someone in the real world?

i don’t lmao the only person who knows about rp irl is my inner circle, and they know it as rp bc at least one of them has actually been in the rp world

5. Do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? Why?

i don’t really have much preference? all genders bring in their own potential for different plots and dynamics and i love them all equally. but female muses and muses that don’t conform to the male/female binary are always favorites because they deserve more appreciation

6. Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why?

this one was actually hard to answer because like? i don’t know? i write plenty of both, and i feel like i prefer males, but also i think that’s just because of the way males tend to be treated over females? like some of my female muses are That Muse that never goes away, but because females tend to be more ignored or people just don’t read their info it’s never as fun writing them

7. What’s your opinion on call out posts?

sometimes they’re necessary, sometimes they’re not. i don’t really read them? unless it’s a callout that comes across my dash a lot or revolves around someone i know/write with. if it’s a legit predator then i say go off, but if it’s something petty or spiteful i think it just makes all parties involved look kinda bad.

8. Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

answered here.

9. What is your opinion on exclusivity? Do you practice it? Why / why not?

i have in the past, i don’t really presently. i think sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s bad, and really depends on the fandoms/characters involved. like currently i have lea as my exclusive stiles and earth as my exclusive carol because they have such intense connections to jason and are literally a part of his backstory/canon so it would feel really strange to have another version of that muse come along and try to either fit the dynamic or ignore it. that said i have in the past had exclusives where it felt like i was trapped in it or didn’t get to explore more dynamics because of it, so it can be a win or a lose dependent on the person you’re exclusive with and what they’re like.

10. Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them?

not really, no. i don’t think i’ve ever actually commissioned anyone, and the people who have commissioned me in the past have generally been really nice. there’s been a few times where people really don’t know what they want or change their mind constantly or just ghost before we get anywhere, but mostly it’s been a good experience for me.

11. What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started?

that literally nothing matters. who cares. take as long as you want, remake as much as you want. yes this is a hobby that depends on other people somewhat, but that doesn’t mean that everything you do should revolve around them. take mental health breaks, write in prose, have a super minimalist or super maximalist aesthetic. who gives a shit, this is about having fun.

12. Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it?

answered here.

13. Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind?

answered here.

14. Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person?

oh a huge positive effect on both for sure. there are times that it’s been bad for my mental health, but i’ve also met so many brilliant people and had so much fun doing this. half of my facebook friends list is people i’ve befriended through rp (and yes this is an invite to anyone i talk to a lot to ask for my facebook if u want it)

15. How has rp changed you personally?

i started rping in 2012 when i was 14. rp was my main hyperfixation through high school, with me spending most days in class on tumblr rather than doing work. i shaped my entire life around rp for a long time, and while that was extremely unhealthy it was also a huge formative thing for me. tumblr and roleplaying are so ingrained into who i am at this point, it’s literally changed my life. the friends i made through rp, especially in my high school years, were a life changing thing. i had one or two friends in high school, but i was heavily bullied and widely hated and rp really did save me from really fully sinking into thinking that’s what everyone thought of me

16. If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why?

i think it would mostly just be the accessibility and ease of it? i miss the days where you didn’t have to be mutuals to write, and how it was just so easy to get things going and have meaningless fun. i love my mutuals and i love plotted threads but i truly think there was something so easy about starting a blog and immediately having threads and people to write with. lately tumblr has become a place where it’s so easy to be ignored or feel like no one wants to write with you, and i really miss the days where there was always someone there who wanted to write with you and be friends.

17. Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why?

literally all the time lmao. my positivity blog is 50% me sending myself anons because people very rarely send them in. people follow positivity blogs to hear positivity about themselves but never send any in which makes it difficult. i don’t want to seem like my positivity blog is focused only on my mutuals, but i also don’t have much i can say about non-mutuals without it feeling fake so it’s a rough balance. i also send myself anonymous headcanon questions all the time bc no one else is gonna do it for me

18. Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why?

i think i did once or twice in like 2014 because i was a 16 year old who wanted attention. mostly it was just like i’d posted something that i knew would be controversial in the fandom and wanted to send myself the hate while i had a comeback in mind rather than wait for someone else to say it and feel bad lmao

19. Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why?

i tend to post/address it. it’s a bummer to get anon hate and i know i should delete it but i’ll see it and be like ‘oh everyone thinks this’ so i post it so that everyone can see and be like ‘yeah’ but then they’re like ‘this is bullshit’ and i have a moment of like... oh... people... dont hate me?

20. Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with?

i dont think so, not that i remember at least.

21. Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to?

yeah, a few times. i tend to feel that way less now but i still do it sometimes. i know there’s not really any pressure, but sometimes breaking mutuals with people you don’t click with feels really hard

22. What would make you block someone?

not a lot, really? like not for hard blocks. i’ll softblock when i do unfollow sprees or if we don’t really mesh. i only hardblock people who spam me, personals and like. actual problematic people.

23. Have you ever stolen something from someone else?

not that i’m aware of. 

24. Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it?

again, not that i’m aware of.

25. Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not?

this doesn’t apply to jason, but generally yeah. it depends on the muse really. im not open to duplicates on beth (multimuses aside) because of how she’s a comfort character for me and i’ve had some Bad Experience with other beths in the past, and theres a few muses i write from smaller fandoms that don’t have duplicates but that i wouldn’t want duplicates for. mostly though im chill.

26. How do you feel about vague posting?

i don’t love it, but i am guilty of it too. sometimes u gotta vague to get things out, but i don’t like vagues where that person is likely to see it? idk i just don’t like vagues but i wont stop you

27. Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back?

sometimes, but not really. i used to do it a lot, but since people are so intense on mutuals only these days i get heaps of anxiety about accidentally liking something when i think we’re mutuals but we’re not

28. Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting?

i try to. a lot of people don’t have mobile friendly info (note that linking to pages on your blog like a /rules or /about isnt actually mobile friendly, you can’t use those links in the app) and i spend a lot of time on mobile, but i usually just wont follow back until i can read them and then i double check rules for triggers and stuff whenever plotting/sending memes/etc.

29. What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it?

i don’t love it and i don’t practice it, but i get it. it sucks to have people reblog things from you without sending, especially headcanon/ooc stuff. i won’t ever force people though, especially with ic stuff, sometimes certain memes just don’t fit and that’s okay.

30. How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all?

probably? i type the same as i talk pretty much, anything you see me type is something i’d say

31. Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge? Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain?

i dont think so. generally i google things if i don’t know it.

32. Have you ever experienced discrimination?

not that i’m aware of. i guess people ignoring female ocs and loving male canons might sorta be it, but nothing personal about me no

33. How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog?

not a fan, tend to block them. personals just tend to get into my shit and rb stuff and it’s annoying. that said, if it’s someone i know from the rp community’s personal they can stay

34. Have you ever cried while writing a reply?

literally all the time. every angsty reply.. i cry so easily

35. Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own?

i read so many other peoples threads, especially people i interact with a lot. i read @unheaven and @aphostate‘s threads like the morning paper i love them

36. What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you?

i don’t know that anyone really hates things that much?? oh, but 13rw is a big one i guess. the show helped me mentally and i have muses on my multi, but i know the majority of the rpc is very much against it

37. How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t?

i try to, but i don’t ever really know when exactly things need to be tagged. i use the ‘ask to tag //’ tag a lot for things that im not sure about. generally speaking triggers go untagged unless it’s intense/graphic, but there’s always warnings in my rules about what i don’t tag

38. What advice would you give to someone new to rp?

don’t take it too seriously. it’s a hobby, it’s for fun. these people will not care if you use aesthetic vibes or if you’re a minimalist, they just want your writing. don’t guilt trip people into writing with you, read and respect rules. i don’t know, just treat people how you wanna be treated. rp is a small world, word travels, people know when people are the type to ignore important things. 

[baekhyunsahoe]

it was an accident so I don’t have to say I’m sorry

Chanyeol’s not in his room when he wakes up. No, hes on the couch, and beside him Baekhyun, still sleeping peacefully cuddled up against him. a blanket is only half covering them, baekhyuns slender pale legs on display from where they’re draped around chanyeol’s.

this could only mean one thing.

Fuck.

Like, literally.

Granted, it wasn’t the first time they accidentally hooked up while they were shit faced. it wasn’t even the second time.

Baekhyun’s reaction is always the same though. He gets extremely upset, pissed off, all scandalized and shit and opting to play the blame game. Apparently every incident could only be chanyeol’s fault. despite chanyeol reasoning calmly that it was a mutual decision that baekhyun had usually started in the first place, the elder was quick to get defensive. “You could have stopped me” baekhyun’s words are icy and sharp. stopping baekhyun wasn’t even an option. it was basically damn near impossible to be honest. baekhyun’s wandering hands would all over him, relentless, stroking his dick, as if it was his life mission to get Chanyeol hard and begging for release.

The pounding headache is another reminder of just how much alcohol they consumed last night. They’ve been strangely into hard liquor lately rather than their usual and cheap soju and beer combo. But no, sehun and jongin had to influence them into the cognac variety and the god forsaken tequila.

Baekhyun makes a small mewling noise and shifts closer. Chanyeol can feel his warm breath against his neck. He stares up at the ceiling resolutely trying to keep his mind blank because he realizes Baekhyun is naked and all up on him and yeah theyre just friends, best friends actually, but fuck he was attractive. And he felt so good.

Chanyeol fails. His morning wood makes its 8am appearance. It was inevitable. Chanyeol tries to piece together last night. They had gone out to eat something basic. In n out, a simple but delicious burger and fries. On the way home they couldn’t resist the liquor store gleaming. There was a sale. A Hennessey sale. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It always does.

They kilt that bottle. It was a medium sized one but still. What were they thinking?

Baekhyun was in mid karaoke sing along to stray kids new album on the floor with his cheeks flushed pink and in chanyeol’s joggers. He had been already drunk to change into his own. chanyeol had been pouring baby shots for them at first but then they started accusing each other of being a ‘pussy’ and starting downing whole glasses.

He remembers Baekhyun being extremely impressed when chanyeol managed to down another glass of Hennessey and chug half a beer in 30 seconds to ‘prove’ hes got balls. He had rewarded him with a kiss. That kiss turned into a full on open mouthed make out session with Baekhyun moaning breathlessly into chanyeols mouth.

Maybe it was chanyeol who had pulled Baekhyun into his lap, or maybe Baekhyun lost his balance, being shit faced and all. Either way, it ended up with Baekhyun straddling him, Baekhyun handguiding chanyeol’s own hands to squeeze his ass perched oh so comfortably atop chanyeol’s boner. Then the grinding began.

Fuck.

Chanyeol was sporting a rock hard erection now just at recalling the memories.

He gulps, feeling feverish and honestly still drunk as he allows himself to trail a hand gently down baekhyun’s side. His skin is warm and smooth, chanyeols fingers follow the curve of his waist to his hips, and squeezes slightly, wanting badly to cop a feel on baekhyun’s ass. Hell he wanted to hit it again.

He doesn’t even realize his breathings gone ragged and hes shallowly thrusting against baekhyun’s thigh.

“fuck,” he hisses, biting down on his lip. Baekhyun stirs. Chanyeol removes his hand but its too late. Baekhyuns eyes open sleepily.

“mm?”

“sorry.”

Baekhyun is half awake, hasn’t seemed to register the situation. Or like chanyeol, maybe hes still drunk.

He looks at chanyeol and smiles. He definitely felt that. Then he turns around so that his ass is directly against chanyeol’s boxer covered boner.

Chanyeols heart races as his cock twitches. If that wasn’t an invitation then he didn’t know what was.

Baekhyun subtly pushes his hips back as he reaches around and wraps chanyeols arm around his waist.

Chanyeol gets the memo.

He rubs against baekhyuns ass a few times. Baekhyun moans, hands squeezing around chanyeols wrist as he arches his back.

He wants it. chanyeols on an adrenaline rush, feeling dizzy and drunk and horny all over again.

Removing his arm from Baekhyun’s side, he quickly coats his fingers in saliva, which is kinda hard seeing as he kinda had cotton mouth. But he manages.

Chanyeol wastes no time inserting one finger inside Baekhyun. He gets a gasp in response. Baekhyun’s ass still feels moist from last night. They must have fucked around 5am. Its only been a few hours. Chanyeol gets a flashback of him shooting his load inside of Baekhyun. They didn’t even use a condom… fuck. and it was about to happen again.

he’s got two fingers pumping in and out of Baekhyun’s hole in less than five minutes. Baekhyuns taking it really well and his body language shows hes enjoying it. he whimpers, the whiny slutty kind that’s basically asking for chanyeols dick.

“Baekhyun,” chanyeols voice is an octave lower, and huskier than usual. He thinks he feels Baekhyun shudder.

“go ahead.” Baekhyun pants softly.

That was all the permission chanyeol needed. He frees himself from the confines of his boxers and having enough sense to reach towards the table for the lube makes use of his long arms to grab it then hurriedly coat his cock in it, lifting the blanket up and almost drooling at baekhyun’s naked form. He was just so sexy god dammit. Those body curves. That ass.

He positions himself a little lower as he guides the head of his cock to in between baekhyun’s ass cheeks then he pushes in, inhaling sharply as he tries to keep it together while he sinks into that tight tight heat.

Baekhyun lets out a harsh cry. Hand reaching around to grab at chanyeols wrist.

Chanyeol halts his movements half way in, using all self control to not just thrust in all the way it felt so good.

“wait,” Baekhyun pants. “sore. Im a little sore.”

“youre sore?” chanyeol repeats, out of it, lips dry and dick absolutely throbbing.

“y-yeah. Go slow.”

Chanyeol nods even though Baekhyun cant see him and places soothing kisses along baekhyun’s nape as he slowly pumps just half of his dick in and out Baekhyun.

“o-oh, fuck,” Baekhyun’s whimpering. “you’re so big.”

“I know.” Chanyeol replies concentrating hard on not shoving his cock balls deep.

“you fucked me for so long last – ah – night…” Baekhyun half whispers, breathing raggedly.

“sorry,” chanyeol whispers back.

“its fine,” Baekhyun pushes his hips back ever so gently, experimentally almost. He groans. “im sore but it still feels good.”

“yeah?” chanyeol feels his ego boosted and pushes in just a little bit more. “do you still want me to go slow?”

“no, you can just – “

Chanyeol loses all sense of self control when Baekhyun shuddering causes his ass muscles to clench down deliciously around his cock, his hips move automatically thrusting the rest of the way in. he bites down on baekhyuns neck as he moans at the same time Baekhyun cries out.

“fuck, you feel so good.” Chanyeol mumbles almost deliriously, hes reached out and started stroking Baekhyun, who was just as turned on as him.

“more.”

Chanyeol gives it to him. he doesn’t set a pace, its only been a few minutes but hes aching for release already. With every thrust in and out of Baekhyun sends mind numbing pleasure all through his body. He feels like hes going to go insane as he picks up the pace, faster and faster while Baekhyuns moans get louder and louder. He pulls the blanket off so he can watch his cock driving into baekhyuns ass over and over again, loving the way it jiggled.

“you’re so fucking sexy,” chanyeol hisses almost angrily. “I'm gonna fuck you all morning.”

Baekhyun just whimpers in response, too fucked out to really reply.

despite his previous sentiments, Chanyeol feels his orgasm approaching now that the sight of their activity is in full view in the dimly lit living room. He pulls out only to reposition Baekhyun onto his back. Then he’s pushing Baekhyun’s legs up and settling between them, fucking into him slowly.

Baekhyun stares up at him, red cheeked, lips wet and parted as endless moans and cries come out of his pretty mouth. He looks especially debauched. His bangs are sweaty and stick to his forehead, above his half lidded eyes that are almost watery.

Chanyeol cant take it.

“do you want me to come inside of you?” chanyeol asks pressing baekhyuns legs more and more against baekhyuns chest.

Baekhyun nods biting his lip. He looks like hes about to cry.

“okay,” chanyeol smiles, and then really gives it to him.

he tries to savor every moan of his name, every flutter of baekhyuns eyelashes as his eyes roll to the back of his head from the pleasure and probably some pain, chanyeol has never felt this good with anyone else in his life. Baekhyuns perfect. Sweating and moaning and perfect.

Chanyeol leans down and kisses him.

He gets to swallow that moan this time and its even more satisfying. He feels his balls tightening as he grabs at baekhyuns dick and starts jacking him off with intent to make him cum as fast as possible. Baekhyun is half sobbing into chanyeols mouth as chanyeol licks his teeth and gums and fucks him and strokes him all at the same time.

“ah I cant – “

“just come.”

Baekhyun does come, white spurts of it shooting out from his cock and onto his stomach. His whole body squeezes and convulses around chanyeols cock making it tighter than ever. Chanyeol swears and fucks into him at a rapid animalistic speed a few more times before hes spilling inside, painting baekhyuns insides with his hot sticky cum.

“fuck,” he swears again giving Baekhyun a lazy and satistfied wet kiss.

“ahh,” Baekhyun whines when chanyeol puts all his weight on him. “get off.”

“my bad. Hold on.” chanyeol is out of breath as he leans up on his hands to search for a random article of clothing they can sacrifice for the greater good.

He sees a shirt and sadly its his and reaches for it. sitting up with his cock still in Baekhyun he counts one two three, then pulls out and puts the shirt beneath baekhyuns ass. He watches in fascination as his come slowly starts dripping out.

“enjoying the view you perv?” Baekhyun scowls. "Yeah actually. I definitely enjoyed that view if you know what i mean." chanyeol teases, ready to avoid the hapkido kick to his face. However when baekhyun tries to get up, he groans and falls back onto the couch.

“ you good?” chanyeol asks, concerned.

“no im fucking sore, if you didn’t know that.”

“you told me to ‘go ahead’…”

“ugh shut up.” Baekhyun manages to grab his shirt and put it on but still remains in a laying position. He gestures at his boxers on the floor. Chanyeol quickly hands it to him and Baekhyun shimmies into it then collapses back onto the couch. “fuck. how did this happen.”

"well sometimes when a man gets an erection - " "Im going to kill you." “aw cmon baek. you cant tell me you didn’t like 'what happened'.” chanyeol grins pushing his hair out of his face. It sticks up wildly. Hes got his boxers back on and drinks from a water bottle from the floor.

“that’s besides the point.” Baekhyun huffs. He looks like hes torn between basking in the after glow and continuing scolding chanyeol. “my back really hurts. We did it on the floor last night.”

“what.” chanyeol couldn’t remember that part.

“yeah I dunno. But Im pretty sure I have some bruises from it.” Baekhyun grimaces and moans when he tries to stretch. Sadly that sound only reminded chanyeol of all the noises Baekhyun made earlier and he hopes Baekhyun doesn’t notice how his cock twitches.

“was I too rough?” chanyeol asks frowning now bc baekhyun seemed to be seriously in distress.

“obviously. Ugh chanyeol, we shouldn’t even be doing this. We have to stop doing this. I told you before I wasn’t ok with doing things when were drunk.”

“uh ok. But you were the one who kissed me.”

“it doesn’t matter! You shouldn’t have put your dick in me when I was clearly intoxicated.”

“what are you trying to say?” chanyeol feels offended now. yeah Baekhyun always blames him when this happens but it sounded like something else this time.

Baekhyun gives him a look of contempt. “I don’t appreciate you taking advantage of me.”

“what the fuck?”

“im serious.”

“was I taking advantage of you 10 minutes ago?” chanyeol cant help getting loud. This was such a ridiculous conversation. “because from what I remember you turned around and basically begged me to put it in you the way you were rubbing your ass on my dick.”

Baekhyun sits up looking triggered as hell. “excuse me?” he hisses. “you were the one with a boner the size of a small country.”

“yeah I know its big. We established that. We also established how much you fucking love it.”

“wow.” Baekhyun gets up and nearly falls over. He finds balance and glares. “get over yourself chanyeol. And stay away from me.”

“kinda hard considering WE LIVE TOGETHER.”

“fuck off.”

“whatever.”