#it's so scary and lmao i have avpd!!!!!!

[ningningkittie]

🐕🧸🪟🕯️

[14dayswithyou]

💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖

For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!

The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^

What's been added to the 3.5 version?

📺 Streamer Mode!

I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.

Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh

This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!

⚙️ Custom Pronouns!

It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;

Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!

💗 Choose how others perceive you!

You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.

For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!

📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!

You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3

Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!

I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;

I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao

📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!

You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!

Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!

I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;

It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)

🖤 Additional Scenes Update!

Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!

If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.

After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga

🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!

I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!

I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.

Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.

How to download and play the update?

(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!

Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)

Enjoy!!

[bunnihearted]

being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #240

end of the year one!

What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before? Uhhhh. Wow. I honestly don't really know; not a lot. Uhhhh... oh, I was sexually involved with a girl, I worked at a deli for A WHOLE TWO HOURS!!!!, I'm still a shameful shit that being on that damn pill actually drove me to masturbating for the first time (yes, I know it's not "bad," but), OH! I very recently found myself to relate to Neo-Paganism so kinda identify as that now, I finished a full semester of college, and uhhh. It's funny, '18 and '19 kinda blur together for me, so I can't say with certainty when some certain things took place, so it doesn't even feel right putting them here? Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I didn't make one; I pretty much never do. This year, however, I just might. Like I've always thought "dude it's just another day there is literally no actual difference," but I want to focus on the actual symbolism. No, there is no physical difference, but it's the idea I want to appreciate. I want to make something about self-improvement this year, probably mostly about AvPD and its "I'm embarrassed by myself omg people think I'm weird" factor irl, because that FUUUUCKS WIIIITH MEEEEE. I want to be comfortable as me, y'know? Oh, and I should definitely work on independence. Did anyone close to you give birth? No, but my sister is pregnant. Did anyone close to you die? My dog Teddy. What countries did you visit? I didn't leave and have never left America, yaaaaay. Fun. Adventure. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019? An income. Let photography go somewhere or some shit, please. What date from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? November 28th, when Teddy was put down. That's something I can never forget. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Said lasting a college semester!!!! I failed my math course as I expected to, but I mean, I lasted. What was your biggest failure? To ME anyway (people have assured me otherwise from their perspectives), it would be the first "professional" wedding I shot. I put so much into that day and the DAYS of post processing, and they never bought any of the pictures. Said they were going to discuss which ones they wanted and get back to me and then poof, vanished. I was very suspicious by another person, I think family, being there taking pictures pretty much just as much as I did, even posing people, and by now I'm pretty sure they used me (or her, idk) as backup. My only guess is my pictures weren't what they wanted so they chose the route of not paying, which, TECHNICALLY, isn't against my terms of service; you just have to pay the sitting fee, you see previews w/ watermarks, and THEN you pay for each photo you actually WANT. That's a loophole I probably need to fix, because I can honestly say $20 did NOT cover my time, hyperhidrosis e x p l o s i o n, anxiety, and my previously-mentioned DAYS-long editing period. Not to mention I was and still genuinely am proud of how the pictures turned out. OKAY WOW I'm seriously ranting but yeah I'm obviously still tilted. Did you suffer illness or injury? Did I? I don't think so. At least nothing serious. I did have a fall, but the resulting bruises and twists were negligible. What was the best thing you bought? A fuckin honeybun from the school snack machine lmao. I don't have my own income, so I just get little cash from Mom if needed for when I go out or anything. Where did most of your money go? See above. So, food lol. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Sara coming on my birthday, Ozzy re-announcing his tour for next year (WITH MANSON Y'ALL!!!!!!!!!!) and Mom and I being like "um fuck yes we're going," and that's all I can think about right now. It's not common I get like, THAT excited. What song will always remind you of 2019? *shrug* None off the top of my head stand out. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or sadder? Older or wiser? Thinner or fatter? (I've been at a weight loss stalemate for two fucking years now, so neither.) Richer or poorer? (No personal income, and I don't know the exact financial position Mom's in compared to last year.) What do you wish you’d done more of? See Sara and Dad much more, reach out to more friends, exercise, cleaning alksdjfawei, studying. What do you wish you’d done less of? Sitting on this computer gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh- I honestly would prefer to just not dwell on this "I wish I had..." subject. How did you spend Christmas? Breakfast and gift opening with Mom and my younger sis, then we went to my older sister's house that afternoon to celebrate with her and the kids. What was your favorite TV program? I didn't watch TV. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No. What was the best book you read? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. What was your greatest musical discovery? Hm... I don't believe I discovered any new bands, but I got waaay more into Motionless In White. What did you want and get? Making it through my first semester in college, Teddy reaching his 13th birthday, seeing my grandmother for probably the last time, seeing Sara for my birthday, uhhh other things that aren't coming to mind. What did you want and not get? Lose more fucking weight for a change, more photography growth, new glasses, the courage to drive more and get my license, SEE SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK AS WELL AS THE LAST HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON, other little things I don't wanna dwell on. What was your favorite film of this year? I do NOT get the hate of the live action The Lion King. I fucking adored it. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I don't remember other than hang out with Sara and the fam and probably eat at Olive Garden for dinner. I turned 23. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Photography reaching the level of being able to call it my *real* job. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019? Pajamas. Just... pajamas whenever possible lmao. What kept you sane? My mom and Sara, MUSIC, gaming, Mark and the other YTers I love way too much, school getting me out of the damn house. Oh, and medication lmfao. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? The day I don't answer this with "Mark Fischbach," I IMPLORE you to commit me. What issue stirred you the most? I'm guessing you mean political? If so, the Amazon wildfires and how the fucking SA government handled it. NOTHING in the political world has ever had me that livid, heartbroken, and ashamed of the greed of the human race. Who did you miss? A good number of people, plus Teddy of course. Who was the best new person you met? Good question. Probably a teacher or adviser at school. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019: I think more than anything, there's been a lot of focus on the fact that you can't always run at the first sign of trouble/stress. That's one of my biggest weaknesses: I flee the moment I'm under stress, but now with school, I've had to learn to fight this. It's an ongoing process, but I'm getting there. Some battles need to be fought to reach a better place.

[wolgrahas]

15 mutuals, 15 questions

i was tagged by @stormcoasting thank you so much!! 💖 and sorry for doing this so late i was busy playing wow sdgfshfgshd and i wasn't very active on tumblr :(( i'm tagging @aloth-corfiser / @kylooren, @blckwall, @falkreathh, @watcherofsouls, @faerun, @morenva, @bosmerie, @aloths, @nurnhilde, @yennefre, @highoverseer, @drthamen, @lavellane, @cireael, @rowsin, @himmelstrasse33 if you want ofc!!! :) was i named after anyone ok ok this is a funny story: i was born the same day the Real Madrid (a football team) won the champions or smth like that and EVERYBODY at the hospital asked my mother if i was named after them (my real name is a colour, if you are from spain you already know my real name then sdgfjhsg pta bida tt) and my mother was fucking furious bc of these questions, so... no, i wasn't named after anything but most people thought i was lmao last time i cried mmmm... some months ago? i get angry easier than crying tbqh, i'm angery!! do i have kids fhdgsdhfsdj no do you use sarcasm a lot me??? sarcasm??? perish the thought first thing i noticed about people if they smile!! as an anxious person (who happens to have avpd) if someone doesn't smile (like cashiers or smth like that) i feel like shit tbqh?? bc if they don't smile at me i think they think i am ugly or smth like (yaaay bullying traumatic experiences are so fun dsfsdhf) i know it's not bc of that but my brain is telling me the most awful things they could be thinking smh why am i like this lol. i'm working on this with psychologist tho!! :) eye colour shitty brown 8))) scary movie or happy ending happy ending!! (fUCK g*me of thr*nes) talents .......................drawing????????? i can move my nostrils if that counts lmao hobbies drawing, creating ocs, reading (once every 6 months sghjasgj) and video games pets a dog!! she's a mix of other mixed dogs so idk her breed sfgsjf i love her very much but she lives with my mother so i don't see her very often now :(( sport nope, but when i was 10-13 i was the best swimmer of my age of the sports centre 8))) i hated every single part of it 8)) i only did swimming bc one of my best friends did it too 8))) height i thought for a long time that i was 1.68m but i'm actually 1.67m smh 😔 favourite subject history, art, literature, first forgeing language (aka english), spanish (my mother tongue, tho: fUCK syntax!!!) dream job i hope my drawing clownery is good for something and i end up being an illustrator who rescues many dogs in netherlands and lives in a small village of said country in a house with a big garden and has a ecologic vegetable garden too or smth like that sdhfsdfdfghgf

[brotherlysuggestion]

Sorry that we’re a little behind, but here’s day 14, and 15 under the cut!

Day 14: NPCs?

Mod Static:

We don’t have NPCs in our system afaik! Which makes sense because it’s pretty small.

Day 15: Disabilities and Disorders?

Mod Static:

This is an interesting one!! I haven’t asked my system myself much about this, so it’s actually kind of a learning experience for me to hear their thoughts. Disability-wise for the physical body we all deal with CFS and TMJ. Disorder-wise for me specifically, I have... a lot going on, lmao. For what is professionally diagnosed, I have GAD and a severe panic disorder and social anxiety, severe depression, CPTSD, psychosis, schizotypal personality disorder, autism, BDD, and AVPD. For what is currently self diagnosed (but I’d like to get help for when it is accessible) is DPD, excoriation/dermatillomania/dermatophagia and obviously DID.

X:

As for myself I’d probably also be autistic along with being diagnosable with ASPD or NPD or something. I dunno. Every stereotype about “psychopaths” fits me like a glove except for the fact that I’m smart and don’t act on it physically. It’s a mix of anger issues and sadism when I lash out at the system, I guess. Also Vin’s pretty hesitant to talk about it, but I’m pretty sure if the two of us were integrated together we’d have all the hallmarks of RAD. We split up the symptoms pretty even between the two of us; he’s got all of the inappropriate attachment and approval seeking and inhibitions, and I got the anger and lashing out. I dunno if disorders split between alters is a thing that happens and is clinically recognized though. tldr; I’m the scary boogeyman alter people make horror movies about except nobody outside the system actually is at risk.

Bitcoin:

AUTISM ANXIETY AND MAYBE ADHD BABEY!!! CALL THAT TRIPLE A. I’LL TOW UR CAR.

Cayenne:

I’m always in pain from how much I tense my muscles if that counts as a disability. Otherwise? Uh... autism probably. PTSD. Also, Bitcoin was so focused on the pun of Triple A that he forgot to list that he also has PTSD.

Henry:

PTSD and whatever disorder makes you angry all the goddamn time. I mean I can totally chill, but I’m pretty fuckin touch-and-go for blowin up if you fuck with me.

Gem:

That’s a secret babes! 😉🥴 We don’t talk about that part of me publicly lol! Especially since this blog is meant to be safe for minors and like... stuff 🥰 Not that anything would be super traumatic or controversial, just stuff that adults shouldn’t be exposing minors to at random ❤️ Also little edit after seeing what i said! i also probably has religious OCD, but he won’t admit it.

i:

Hello. This is an interesting piece for me to make my first contribution, but I feel that it’s finally a useful topic for me to speak myself on. I experience some form of catatonia.Typically I refuse visual input both in the inner world and most of the time while fronting if I am not trying to navigate any physical spaces. This is not a condition but a preference for my own comfort although I suppose that the very idea of visual input being overly stimulating may be a sign of abnormality.

Ali:

I don’t know exactly what’s up with me? I’m newer anyhow, so it’s hard to figure myself out. I definitely have obsessive tendencies, but not in an obsessive compulsive sense. Anxiety and depression is probably a pretty fitting catch all descriptor of my daily struggle I suppose? I’ve been told that I’m very paranoid if that counts for anything as well.

Toybox:

I don’t know if I’d be able to identify myself as having any disabilities or diagnoses. Speaking for Candy; he exhibits most all symptoms of CPTSD and anxiety or a panic disorder. I’m hesitant to suggest social anxiety or AVPD just due to his age, because it isn’t uncommon for young children to be shy and seek to hide in the comfort of their caregiver’s form. This being said, he exhibits many of the symptoms that manifested in Vincent as a child with regards to social interaction, and he did end up having severe social anxiety and AVPD.

Multiplicity May part 2, since the last one got really long under all the readmores! As before, these will be tagged both as “not a suggestion” and “multiplicity may” for easy blocking!

[Part 1]

I fell behind a couple days, so I’ll do two now!

Day 6: Communication

Day 7: Switching

Mod Static:

Firstly, we have pretty good communication in the system! We can contact each other pretty easily in the innerworld. Sometimes it takes a minute to get a response or for it to be a good time to reach them (almost like they’re napping sometimes even if they aren’t)

Secondly, switching for us isn’t really special? I’m pretty anchored to the front a lot of the time now that my husband lives with us, since we’re together almost 24/7 and I want to be around for him. If I’m on my own for too long, usually T will step in and take care of the body or complete some mundane task (basically doing what I should be doing but don’t). Sometimes when he switches in I’ll be completely out of it, and it’s like I black out or recede into the back of our headspace/innerworld, and then the next thing I know I’m slowly brought back into it (usually because my husband is back). Other times it’s like I’m peeking over T’s shoulder? He’s in control of what the body does, but I’m vaguely aware of what’s happening and the sensory input around us. Which is a funny contrast, because oftentimes otherwise I’m the one in control of the body and T or someone else will be the one peeking over my shoulder to watch.

The other time that we can switch is if I’m exposed to a stressful confrontation or an abuser. The minute there’s the hint of something like that starting to happen, either Henry, X, Cayenne, or T will step in. Henry and/or T tend to show up whenever I’m forced around an abuser, typically speaking for me and pretending to be me in order to keep things calm and keep an argument from happening. X or Cayenne will step in if it’s necessary that I DO have an argument with someone and stand up for myself, since I’m pretty chronically a spineless people-pleaser. X tends to be the more aggressive “you’ve been mistreating us and that ends now” type, while Cayenne is more of the “we have needs that are going unaddressed” abrasive but calm and reasonable type.

[avpdnoisearchive]

just a lil avpd.. story? idk. it’s nearly 2am and i’m not tired at all and my brain is bein a lil bitch so i’m just gonna talk about this bc it’s pertinent to this blog. thank u

so i reached out to a friend who i literally have not seen since last october and we’re gonna catch up next week :-) she’s one of my closest friends & i love her so much and me avoiding her has been such a huge source of sadness + stress + self loathing. 

i started to avoid her because while i was on my way to see her back in october i had a really really scary incident while driving and she saw me at my most vulnerable (like sobbing and anxious and scared and awful) and it was just. the most embarrassing thing ever. i felt so ashamed and i wanted desperately not to think about the incident so the Lite Avoiding started (aka the kind i can easily fix with a text like ‘hey sorry i was MIA for two weeks what’s up’). but then i went into a HORRIBLE depressive episode. it dipped in and out from extremely severe (like thinking about suicide constantly) to pretty bad (like not thinking about suicide but then also not thinking about Anything except sleep). this lasted until the beginning of february. i barely saw anyone around that time. i left the house like 3 or 4 times because of christmas things. i saw my sp a couple times, but that was it.

and then by the time i got into a phd program and came out of my depressive episode so much time had passed.. i still felt (and feel) so ashamed that she saw me in that state. i straight up wanna die every time i think about it lmao. so i kept putting it off and putting it off and it was making me feel worse and worse

anyway i finally, finally messaged her. i am nervous to see her because i feel so bad about avoiding and our friendship means so much to me so like a lot is riding on this??

ugh this all makes me sound so lame but honestly up until that point in october i only had my best friend and her. i have one other friend who is basically just a few notches up from an acquaintance (and i’ve also been avoiding her this year because of similar reasons). and that’s literally it. i obviously have a bunch of acquaintances from school and i have some family members and ofc my internet pals but literally no other irl friends. just two good friends. and my stupid brain was making me lose one of them.

i just love her and respect her so much.. we think so alike and i love talking to her and we’ve been friends since high school. if i lost her i’d be completely devastated tbh. i know she’s probably better off without me bc i’m a terrible friend but i just can’t leave toronto without seeing her and letting her know how much she means to me and how sorry i am

this got a lot more emo and long than i thought it would lol.. i kinda wanted this to be like.. an avpd success story or?? that sounds dumb but like. even if you’ve avoided someone for months and you think u can never talk to them again and you feel like the worst most terrible person ever, i am proof that u can reach a point where ur love for that person & ur need for that friendship overcomes your terrible, terrible symptoms

i really hope it goes well and she doesn’t hate me. but at the very least i’m proud of myself for not letting my avpd & depression ruin this friendship without a fight

[bunnihearted]

🌷🕸️

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #137

“if i could kill you, i would, but it’s frowned upon in all 50 states.”

Who was the last person that borrowed money from you?
  Mom. Think of the person you fell hardest for. How many people has he/she been in love with, besides you?
  One. Do you have any 70s, 80s or 90s music on your iPod?
  Plenty. If you had 5 minutes to talk with any politician, who would it be?  I don't have the desire to talk to any, really. What would you ask them? ��N/A You’re stranded alongside the road. Who do you call first?  Mom. Name 3 things from your childhood that you still have today:  Lots of video games, love for animals, and tons of stuffed animals. Ever yell at someone for not washing their hands after using the bathroom?  Not "yell," no. When is the last time you danced?  ahhhHHhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHH one night when Sara was here and we were outside listening to music. Someone breaks into your house while you are in bed. What do you do?  Probably grab my phone, jump out my window, try to get to a neighbor, and call 911. How did you first learn your “limit” when drinking?  I don't know what that is for me. Who is the one person you DON’T want to come to your wedding?  I was gonna say Jason but tbh the asshole in me says I'd love him to see how happy I am without him lmao.  I don't really know one specific person I wouldn't want to come...  Maybe a massively homophobic friend or family member who can't keep their mouth shut, considering it's probably gonna be a same-sex wedding? Have you ever been to an ocean and, if so, which one? The Atlantic. What’s your favorite sea creature? Hmmm.  Seahorses or whales, maybe? Which of your exes has your parents disliked?  I barely consider Juan an ex, but Mom didn't like him.  She liked Jason until the breakup and she saw how much he'd changed. What’re your uncles’ names? I only know Rob and Billy off the top of my head... but those actually might be the only two?  I know Dad doesn't have a brother, and I think those are Mom's only bros. What’s your favorite forest animal? Deer. If you met a genie, what would be your three wishes? World peace, end disease, end to poverty/homelessness. Have you ever been pressured to get married? No. Do you agree with traditional male and female roles?  *maniacal laughter* Were you raised by someone other than your parents? No. Who’s your favorite wizard? Uhhhh idk. Has your mother ever been in jail?  No. What were you teased for when you were a kid?  I wasn't really teased for it, but I remember a lot of kids thinking I in general was weird, like my interests and stuff.  My AvPD ass can legit still remember some "she's strange" scenarios from fucking kindergarten. Have you ever been hunting? No. What’s your favorite story from Greek mythology?  Uhhhh.  I don't remember. If you were turned into a god or goddess, what would you be the god or goddess of?  Peace. Have you taken shrooms or acid?  No. Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop for the New Year?  No. Have you ever made a time capsule?  No. What is one good thing you do for your health? I've been doing an intermittent fast.  Drinking mostly water. Do you know any illegal immigrants?  I knew one, but he got deported. Do you have any cavities?  I currently have one, but we can't afford to fill it atm.  It's not major, thankfully. What is the most you have ever weighed?  Like 270 and I'm super proud to say I've lost a shitload. Have you ever received anesthesia or morphine?  Both.  The one time I received morphine, it didn't do shit. If you had to choose which video game to be in, which would it be?  World of Warcraft's universe to be a beast mastery hunter.  Heaveeeen. Between the two, would you rather live in a place where it’s only night or where it’s only day?  Only day.  It's natural to humans.  Plus it being dark constantly would affect my mood. In your opinion, does the world make people cruel or do people make the world cruel?  Both. Out of fire, earth, water, wind, light, and dark, which element appeals the most to you?  Dark. Do you usually have to make yourself get over someone or does it just happen naturally?  It's both, but mostly it's a natural process.  But you have to want it. Would you rather spend your evening at the circus, at the movie theater, or at a drama play?  Movie theater. What music band/singer has inspired you the most to follow your dreams and be yourself? Why?  Otep.  Her lyrics are passionate as fuck and deeply encourage people to stand up for what they believe in and never fear standing out. What is your sexuality? If you aren’t straight, when did you realize it? Was it hard?  I "knew" I was bi in the 8th grade, but because of religious beliefs I had back then, I forced myself into believing it was my anxiety making me worry I was.  I had a crisis over it for like a week, but finally made myself accept I was straight.  Didn't question it again until last year, when it was honestly a very easy thing to accept.  Looking back through middle, high school, and years beyond, I had definitely been sexually attracted to women. Do you ever wear lipstick? What color(s) do you prefer?  Veeeery rarely, and black. Which word(s) do you generally use to describe someone attractive? (e.g. “fit”, “sexy”)  I usually say "hot" in regards to strangers, but "beautiful" or "gorgeous" is more common when I'm speaking of females. Would you consider yourself an adventurous person?  Eh... not really. Have you ever been afraid of being underwater?  No. Would you ever scuba dive in shark-infested waters if you had the chance?  No. Have you ever slept on the floor with someone you like?  Yeah. Have you ever read any of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books?  No. Have you ever sneaked someone over to your house?  No. How many tattoos would you get?  A LOT.  My right arm's gonna be covered, left one too probably, back, hands, ribs, hip, maybe neck...  I want so many okay. Who do you go to for advice the most?  Mom or Sara. Is there a person you talk to everyday with?  Sara and Mom. Does one of your parents ever complain to you about the other parent?  HA.  Mom's good at that. When you move out your house (or if you already have moved out) do you plan on still visiting your parents' house?  Definitely. Do you usually take home leftovers if you eat out in a restaurant?  No.  I pretty much always finish. Do you wish on 11:11?  No. Do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectedly turned up pregnant right this second?  I honestly don't know.  If my life was at risk, yes, but even if it wasn't, I truly do believe pregnancy could be traumatizing for me.  I'd have to be in this situation to really know. If you were far from home and needed to sleep for the night, would you choose to rent a crappy motel room for $60 or sleep in your car for free?  Sleep in the car. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose?  OZZY. What's the next movie you want to see in theaters?  The new Jurassic World movie. Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?  Yeah. Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them?  I have and I will a billion times more. Have you ever fainted? If so, when was the last time? If not, have you ever came close to?  Yes, and like... 2012/2013? Did you ever breathe in helium and talk funny afterwards?  Maybe I have? Ever meet and talk to someone from an online dating site?  No. Did you decorate your house for Halloween? If so, how many decorations? Did you go all out or just put up a few things? We didn't last year and we probably won't this year.  We don't have many decorations.  When I've got my own place?  Oh, HALLOWEENTOWN. Which type of Halloween costume do you prefer, sexy ones or scary ones? Or maybe funny ones?  Well-executed scary yet beautiful ones. Do you like cranberry sauce? NONONONONONONONONO. Do you have the right time set on your microwave?  Yes. Do you like Slim Jim’s?  OH BOY- Are there any plants in your house? No.