#it's so late rn but you WILL see me tomorrow in your notifs reading the next part

[awkwardtickleetoo]

Ler!Sapnap Week Day 5 - Tease/Ghost Tickles

hello everyone :D i am back with another (very very very late) fic for @sleepy--anon ‘s ler!sapnap week!!!! wooooo!!!

this is for day 5’s prompt which is teases/ghost tickles!! make sure you check out the original post here, and make sure you show sleepy your love and support for putting this week together in the first place!!!

this one isn’t too crazy or anything, but i experimented a little bit with the formatting in docs and then had to try something different here, and i’ve never done anything quite like this before so i think it’s pretty cool :D hope everyone enjoys!!

orange text is sapnap’s messages, green text is dream’s messages

lee!dream, ler!sapnap, 1.8k words

enjoy :)

--

Dream’s phone screen lit up from where it laid flat on his nightstand, catching his eye as he turned away from the mini fridge he’d walked across the room to grab a bottle of water from. He twisted the lid off the bottle, picking up the phone as he took a sip, seeing that the notification had been a text from Sapnap.

hey

are you super crazy busy rn

Dream smiled, always endeared by Sapnap’s word choice, taking another sip before putting the bottle down and typing out a response.

not rly

i put all the video stuff in files but it’s too late to start editing so i’m just gonna do it tomorrow

why?

Dream sat down on the edge of his bed, placing his phone on the pillow beside him and twisting to his left, then to his right, stretching his back. He watched a new text come in, followed by more typing bubbles.

i just had a really dumb stressful meeting and i’m fucking frustrated

not like mad i just feel like i have so much pent up energy

and i really wanna come tickle you

Dream felt his stomach flip as he read the words, cold water bottle resting against his thigh and sending a chill up his spine. His thumb hovered over the keyboard, and he blinked in disbelief at his phone screen as he read the message over and over again. After almost a full minute, he formed a response.

……what

Very eloquent, if you ask him.

i want to tickle you

you should let me

Dream felt his stomach flip again, warmth spreading through his chest and nerves settling in his throat. He swallowed harshly, taking in a breath and drinking more of his water as he quickly tapped out another text.

why???

to get the energy out

???????

Dream stared at his phone, in complete disbelief and confusion at the words before him. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, unable to tell if it was from fear, anticipation, excitement, or embarrassment. He chuckled to himself, nerves sending electric shocks through his veins, making the tips of his fingers tingle as he shook the feeling out. He watched those three bubbles pop up again, and he pushed himself back further on his bed to sit cross-legged as a response came in.

cmoooonnnn

you know you love it

i do not!

shut up!!

don’t lie

i’m sure you’re loving this too

i’m sure you’re already getting goosebumps

sapnap

and you can feel the excitement already running through you

sapnap.

and the nerves too huh

oh i’m sure you already have those nervous giggles don’t you aww :((

sapnap!

Dream took in a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling above him and exhaling slowly. His chest felt tight, and he shook out his tingling hands before pressing his knuckles against his cheeks to check their temperature– to his dismay, they were already burning hot, though he could feel that before he even touched them. A surge of warmth quickly spread through his whole body, the tingles in his hands growing stronger with the quickly forming butterflies in his stomach.

yes cutie?

stop it

please

but i don’t wanna :(

Dream couldn’t help but chuckle at the response, always entertained by Sapnap’s form of teasing, biting his lip to stop more giggles from falling, a soft whine escaping instead.

you can’t just

god sap

you can’t do that

but it’s so funnnn to mess with you

and you’re so cute :((

shut UP oh my god

so can i please come tickle you??

pleeeease :(

Dream would be lying if he said he didn’t hesitate.

He scoffed, squirming where he sat, uncrossing his legs just to cross them the other way, rubbing his palm over his knee and pressing his fingertips into the material of his pajama pants. His toes curled underneath him, and he switched between sitting straight up and leaning over to look down at his phone screen.

no!!

shut up no you cannot

fuck off

dreamie :(

wait

i know how to convince you :)

Dream watched in fear as the three bubbles disappeared, waiting approximately three seconds in stunned silence before he realized what that implied.

what

what are you doing

what does that mean what are you gonna do

sap please

whatever it is just

don’t do it

“Fuck…” He whispered to himself when he received no response, looking around anxiously, his entire body tense as he waited to hear the tell-tale sounds of footsteps approaching his bedroom door. He waited, and waited… and waited…

But they never came.

He glanced down at his phone, just as a new message came in.

A voice memo. It was a voice memo.

He was fucked.

no

i’m not listening to that

yes you are

sapnap.

play it <3

Dream whined again, breaking off into a groan as he shook his head and rubbed his palms against his thighs. He took in another breath, falling into the nervous giggles that Sapnap predicted so accurately, dropping his head into his hands and peeking through his fingers as he shakily pressed play. He squeezed his eyes shut, covering his face with his hand, lowering his phone volume and holding the speaker up close to his ear so he could hear.

“Alright, handsome, here’s how this is gonna work,” Sapnap’s voice played through the audio, nonchalant as he spoke, but his tone was still stern and matter of fact.

“Oh, god,” Dream groaned, curling in on himself more, biting his lip as he pulled his knees up to hide his face there instead.

“I’m gonna send you this, and then I’m gonna head up to your room, and by the time I get up there, I can promise you’ll be begging me to tickle you.”

“Oh my god…” Dream said with a gasp, covering his mouth with his hand, his entire body buzzing with anticipation, curling his toes against the sheets below him once more. His phone went silent, after a small chuckle from Sapnap came through, and he turned it around to see that the audio had ended. His hands shook as he went to type out another response, his fingers unsure of their own words.

this is stupid

i hate you

leave me alone

Just as he sent those, another voice memo came through, slightly longer this time. Dream whimpered, a pout spreading across his face against his own will, shaking his head and looking up at the ceiling above him. He could feel the tingling sensation spreading further through his body, through his chest and arms and legs, making it nearly impossible to bite his lip hard enough to hold in his giggles. He covered his face with his hands and threw his head back, trying to regulate his breathing enough to calm his nerves down.

Needless to say, it didn’t work very well.

no more

please

you can’t do this

listen to it dreamie

it’s okay

Dream groaned again, assuming the same hiding position as he hit play on the new voice memo.

“I’m sure you’re already feeling those ghost tickles too,” Sapnap teased through the audio, and Dream gasped and shook his head at how well Sapnap knew how he felt, curls swaying against his forehead. “I’m sure they’re swirling all around your tummy right now, that’s where they always get you most, huh?”

“St–“ Dream stuttered to himself, turning his head away from his phone as if Sapnap was already in the room with him, teasing him in person instead.

“Now, like I said before, I’m gonna come to your room, and– y’know what? I’ll actually be nice, because I really do just wanna wind down and get all cozy and giggly with you, and I know you love that stuff too–“

“Fuck,” Dream whispered as Sapnap spoke, feeling the warmth spread through his chest and across his face once again, the fluttery feeling in his tummy growing even stronger.

He had to admit, it did sound nice after all this.

“–so I won’t even make you ask… I am gonna tease you to no end still, though, but you knew that already,” Sapnap said with a small giggle, and Dream couldn’t help but giggle as well. “Anyway, hope you’re prepared, because by the time you’re done listening to this I’m probably already on my way.”

“Wh–!” Dream yelped, whipping his phone around to see the audio end, and he stared at his bedroom door for a few seconds in fear. He scoffed in fake offense, rolling his eyes and typing out a message.

you’re ridiculous

you know that, right?

Instead of a response, the top Dream’s phone screen lit up with Sapnap’s contact information, the photo of Sapnap and Patches he had set as his photo staring back at him.

Sapnap was calling him now.

He let it ring for a few seconds, tapping the banner to bring the call full screen, before hitting accept and slowly raising the phone to his ear.

“…Hello?” Dream began, voice quiet and nervous.

“Hey, sweetheart!” Sapnap said, voice overly chipper and enthusiastic. Dream swallowed against the lump in his throat when he heard a door close on the other end of the call. “How are you feeling?”

“Sapnap…” Dream mumbled, anxiously twirling the drawstring of his pajama pants around his pointer finger, looking off to the side to try to compose himself.

“What’s wrong, Dreamie?” Sapnap asked softly, as if he was speaking to a scared animal, and Dream would be lying if he said the tone didn’t help him relax, at least a tiny bit.

“You know…”

“Awww, honey,” Sapnap cooed, making Dream groan and cover his face with his free hand. “Are you nervous?”

“Mhm…” Dream nodded, even though no one was there to see it.

“Aw, Dream,” Sapnap cooed more, and Dream could practically hear the pout on his face, making him groan again. “It’ll be okay, you know I’ll be nice to you, right?”

“I do, but still,” Dream explained, switching his focus to picking at a thread on his comforter that had suddenly become the most interesting thing in the world.

“Yeah, I know, you’re just wound up, huh?”

“Mhm,” Dream replied without thinking, making Sapnap chuckle on the other end.

“It’s okay, Dream. You don’t have to wait much longer.

“Wh…” Dream began, looking up at his door as he heard the long awaited footsteps growing closer and closer. “Why– why do you say that?”

“Take a wild guess,” Sapnap replied, and before Dream had the chance to entertain the idea, there was a knock at his bedroom door, making him gasp and squeal and the pit in his stomach feel like it had dropped ten stories. He couldn’t hold in his giggles anymore, gripping his phone tighter as the door opened and Sapnap walked in, a thrilled smile on his face as he continued laughing along with Dream. “There’s my baby boy.”

“Noho, go away!” Dream shook his head, placing one hand over his stomach as he felt the ghost tickles running rampant over his skin. He watched as Sapnap smiled sweetly at him, ending their call and placing his phone in his pocket.

“Alright,” He began. “Let’s get started.”

[elementary-my-dear-daddy]

Earning Your Keep - Chapter 7 "Tempted to Tease"

Analogical (Virgil and Logan)

Read the previous chapter here or on AO3!

Chapter Summary: Time apart has Logan reaching out to Virgil. A dinner date full of teasing and bonding leads the two back to Virgil's to discuss their arrangement.

A week had passed since Logan’s last encounter with Virgil, where they’d established…what should he call it? Their new dynamic? He was a sugar baby now, sort of, and while he didn’t know exactly how this situation would play out, he knew he liked the time spent with the other. When Virgil sent him messages throughout the week asking how he was, if he was eating and getting enough sleep, and such, his heartbeat sped up at the sight of the notification. Despite this, a part of him was still concerned. No matter how many times Virgil reassured him, he worried about his jobs and making rent and the slew of problems he still had to deal with.

It was one day when his shift at work at the hotel had been slow and he found himself taking a moment to reach out to Virgil, a contrast to the other usually texting him first. He pulled out his phone and quickly typed up a message

L: [Good afternoon, Virgil. I have some time to myself right now, though I’m not sure for how long. I thought I might check in with you today.]

He swiped away the texting app and went back to what he normally did when he was bored, a simple solitaire game. He didn’t have much of a chance to play a match with Virgil replying nearly instantly. He opened it and read.

V: [That’s nice] V: [I’m at home chillin rn] V: [you at work?]

L: [Yes. I work all night.]

Logan glanced at the time on the computer in front of him, 4:37, another 6 hours on his shift. He would have groaned if he were alone at home, but his cold facade kept him from expressing his displeasure at how slow the time seemed to pass.

V: [That sucks] V: [I was thinking maybe I could take you to dinner again sometime soon] V: [If you want] V: [You don’t have to]

Logan rolled his eyes as he typed his reply. Sure, he only knew Virgil for a few weeks, but he could see how much of a worrywort the other was.

L: [What time would you like to meet?]

V: [I can pick you up tomorrow]

V: [When you get off work, if you want]

He thought about his schedule, dreading the shift at the cafe he worked at until around 8 tomorrow night. It would be a bit late, but he could stand to use the few hours he would’ve taken to decompress before he went to sleep to spend time with the other.

L: [Sure.]

After sending the address of the cafe, his phone pinged as soon as he set it down again. He didn’t find Virgil’s eagerness as off-putting as another man might, instead he found it almost endearing.

V: [See you soon :) ]

~~

Virgil continued the nasty habit of nervously biting his nails while waiting for Logan. He was fairly sure this was the right address, although he could have typed it in wrong, or somehow ended up at the wrong place. He leaned against the hood of his car and watched as people passed the spot he chose to park next to, hoping one of them was his date. The chill air had him fidgeting, even with the warmer leather jacket he opted for instead of his hoodie. So what, he wanted to look nice for something more official between the two of them.

Just when he went to check the address again, a voice from not too far behind him startled him.

“That is an extremely detrimental habit. Biting your nails can lead to gum disease.”

Virgil turned and saw Logan, arms crossed and waiting. He still seemed to be wearing a work uniform, as he didn’t take Logan as the type to be wearing t-shirts with a small cheesy logo printed on the lapel. Virgil smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Are you lecturing me on good habits?” He retorted.

“Yes.” Logan stated flatly, “Was that not clear?”

“It was. I’ll take it to heart once I know you’ve been consistently getting eight hours of sleep.” Ugh, I sound like Janus, He thought to himself. He nodded to the car to signal Logan to get in, which the other rushed to do, and once they were both seated, Virgil turned on the ignition.

“May I ask where we’re going?” Logan questioned, putting on his seatbelt dutifully.

Virgil mimicked the action, “To dinner.”

“I meant to ask what sort of establishment we’ll be dining at.” “Oh, well why didn’t you say so.” Virgil checked his surroundings before pulling out of the parking spot and began heading to their destination, “A restaurant.”

“You have no intention of telling me, do you?”

“That would ruin the magic just a bit, dontcha think?” Virgil snickered.

Logan rolled his eyes, which he found himself doing more and more with Virgil entering his life. He settled for looking out the window as they drove, staring out at the variety of neighborhoods and shops they passed.

“I did mean to say, you look rather nice tonight, Virgil.” He mentioned, allowing himself a look at Virgil who was still focused on the road.

“That's kinda gay.” He snickered in return, “Thanks, Lo. You look pretty cute in your work outfit, too.”

This elicited a pout and a slight blush from Logan, who sheepishly looked back out the window, “I didn’t have time to change.”

“Hey, I mean it. It’s a dorky kind of cute.”

“Virgil!”

“It’s a compliment!”

“You’re teasing me.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow at the remark, “Are you into it?”

Logan let out an exasperated huff, extremely embarrassed at how Virgil seemed to easily steer the conversation in that direction, “What happened to taking things slow.”

“Right, sorry.” He immediately changed his tone, “Dinner first, at least.”

It wasn’t a long journey to the restaurant. Virgil parked along the street and the both of them approached together, chatting still about their days. Logan felt underdressed once he observed the interior of the place, as well as its patrons, who all seemed to be adhering to a business formal dress code. He sheepishly rubbed his arm while they were seated.

Once the host left them to their own devices, Virgil shot Logan a concerned look, “Everything ok?”

Logan nodded, “I didn’t realize how formal this establishment would be.” He was given a shrug in response, “Who cares. No one’s gonna notice. Most of the people that go here are rich assholes too concerned with their own lives to pay attention to anyone else. Perks of living in a society that values the ego.”

“I suppose.” He answered, reaching for a menu. Virgil beat him to it, snapping up both of them before he had a chance to look anything over.

“Hey!”

“Nope. You’re gonna look at prices and order the cheapest thing. Tell me what sounds good and I’ll order for you instead.”

Logan glared at him, “I am not a child, I can order for myself.”

“How’s steak sound?”

“Virgil.”

“Oh, they have duck?”

“Virgil.”

“Can’t say I’ll give you a kiss goodbye if you order fish.”

“Will you just let me-” Logan attempted to snatch the menu from the other, failing as Virgil tucked it closer to his chest before he could. This earned them a few stares from surrounding diners, causing them to sink down into their seats to avoid making a scene.

“Logan. Tell me what you want. What you like, at least.” Virgil stated with little room for argument.

Logan bit the inside of his cheek and leaned back in defeat. He cast his eyes away from Virgil, briefly telling him what he preferred. He felt completely embarrassed when the waiter came up and he was ordered for, though, in a strange way, it felt pleasant. Not that he would ever let the other know.

Once they were left alone again, Virgil spoke in a more sincere tone, “Y’know, this arrangement doesn’t work unless you let me-”

“-I know.” He interrupted, “I just don’t believe I was expecting it this soon.”

“You want me to tell you beforehand then? When I want to do something like this?”

Logan nodded. “Can it be the expectation that I order for you whenever we go out then?”

Oh, did that stir up some feeling in his body. It was embarrassing! Someone else ordering for him, as if he were a child not capable of knowing what’s good for himself. And yet…it was the same sort of nervousness that washed over him when Virgil watched him prep himself when they were together. A warm heat spread over his cheeks at the thought of both, and when he felt his heartbeat pound slightly more intensely than before, he decided perhaps this was a complex emotion he’d like to experiment with to gain a further understanding of.

“I would…like to try that. Yes.”

“Good, I like being able to do things like that for you.” Virgil smiled.

Logan’s curiosity piqued at his words, “Why?”

He shrugged, “It’s just the easiest way for me to show that I care, I guess.”

“I suppose I would have guessed gift giving was your love language.”

“Anyone in psychology who tells you that you’re assigned this one thing without seeing any grey area or overlap is a quack. You don’t just have one love language, you give and receive it in a bunch of different ways and it varies based on the circumstances. It’s less of a language and more of a pidgin you form with the people around you.”

“Interesting,” Logan hummed back, “So then what does that look like for you?”

“You’re really blunt. Has anyone told you that?”

“Yes, on several occasions. I’m simply curious.”

“I know, L,” Virgil snickered, “Just teasin’ you again.”

“Is that part of it?”

“Part of what?”

“Your love language. You seem to do it so often.”

“I mean, I’m kind of just a snarky asshole by nature, but I like to see you blush too, so if that counts towards it then sure.”

That seemed to evoke exactly the reaction Virgil was looking for. Logan adjusted his glasses nervously and reached to sip at the complimentary water, letting the cool water soothe the rush of heat that crashed over his face. “Is that alright?” Virgil questioned again.

Logan shrugged, crossing his arms over his body self-consciously, “You never answered my question from before.”

“You first.”

They sat there in a moment of silence, locked in a stalemate. According to his preconceived knowledge of the topic, Logan thought dates were exercises in turn taking questions.

“I have complicated feelings on the matter.” Logan broke the silence.

Virgil let out a hum of acknowledgement in return, staring at the other as he waited for him to elaborate.

“I don’t…” Logan took a moment to collect his rather abstract thoughts, wearing an unknowingly adorable expression as his brow was knit in contemplation, “I think I might like it, but I do have limits and need room to feel completely comfortable in it.”

“Alright. Is there a way to do it where you’d feel more comfortable? Maybe not in public?” Virgil thought. The last thing he wanted to do was make Logan uncomfortable, and it was probably a bad call to be so forward on their second date, but the image of the boy in front of him blushing, or perhaps even more, thrilled him.

“I’m not sure.”

Virgil fidgeted with the zipper on his jacket, thinking of a viable solution to propose to the other. He knew how to negotiate and was fairly open about his own desires, but it was difficult to respond to the vague answers he was receiving. A thought popped into his mind, spurred on by a memory of a conversation with Janus, when his friend had an experience with a willing but extremely reserved sexual partner.

“How does this sound,” He began, “we can go back to my apartment tonight, and have a more in depth chat about possible things we can do when it comes to me like ordering for you and stuff. Boundaries and all that…but we can test out what that will look like, so you have a better sense of what feels good and bad, so we aren’t just springing into things that could upset the both of us.”

Logan met Virgil’s eyes as he considered the offer. He was knowledgeable about how their dynamic was ‘supposed’ to work, yes, but that didn’t mean he could effectively communicate the aspects of it that appealed to him, which he recognized was an important part of it. Perhaps this kind of conversation could clearly establish their boundaries and prevent the current embarrassment that rendered him unable to express himself.

“Alright. I am amenable.”

Virgil mentally sighed in relief, “Ok. Cool. I think that’ll help. Yeah.”

Luckily, the silence that followed wasn’t incredibly awkward, since their meals came out soon after. They made light conversation in between bites, asking each other about their interests and laughing at the anecdotes brought up in answers. Logan forced himself to look away as Virgil slipped his card into the check holder, a pang of guilt shooting through his body. He didn’t have to bear the feeling for too long, since Virgil was quick to have it paid and offer his hand to him as they prepared to leave. He took it and allowed himself to be led back to the car.

“Spoiling, both physically and verbally, by the way.” Virgil said, inserting the key into the ignition.

“What?”

“Your question from earlier.” He put on his seatbelt, “What my love language looks like, I never answered it. Now buckle up.”

Logan scrambled to do so before replying, “Interesting. I assume-”

“We’ll talk about it when we’re home?” Virgil finished, “Yeah. Just hang tight. We’ll get there soon enough.”

[taomyou]

The Romance of Reimbursements - Chapter 16

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader Status: COMPLETED Summary: There’s a guy you see every Friday on bus 143, and you think he’s pretty hot. It wouldn’t hurt to tell your best friend about him, would it? or, you and Levi take the same bus home from work every Friday, and you fall in love slowly, clumsily, and with all the time in the world to fold as many paper stars as your heart desires. Word Count: 7.7k Tags: slow burn, friends to lovers, modern au, office au, fluff, romance, meet-cute, matchmaking (A/N: this fic is entirely available on ao3 here if you would like to read it there instead!) Chapter Navigation Accompanying Playlist

the feeling not understood

When you're comfortably situated in your usual seat on bus 143 on Monday after work, you reach to take your phone out of your pocket to give yourself something to occupy yourself with for the next 45 minutes. You see a text from Hange, so you smile and go to unlock your phone to read it.

Hange - 5:20 PM

Remember to leave saturday free!!! We're celebrating Moblit's birthday with everyone at Sina's :D

You - 5:22 PM

his birthday is today, right?

Hange - 5:23 PM

Yup!!

You - 5:23 PM

tell him i say happy birthday ^^

Hange - 5:24 PM

What makes you think Im seeing him today?

You smile to yourself and shake your head. Right, they still don't know you know they're together.

You - 5:25 PM

i never said you were going to see him today i simply don't have his number to tell him myself

Hange - 5:25 PM

WAIT HAVE I NEVER ADDED YOU TO OUR GROUP CHAT????? Oh my god I cant believe we've gone this far without adding you IM SO SORRY

You roll your eyes.

You - 5:26 PM

it really isn't a big deal, i don't need anyone's number

Hange - 5:26 PM

NO NO I MUST RIGHT MY WRONGS Honestly tho we never use it anymore bc Levi has had us muted since like february and we have to text him separately anyway STILL I AM SO SO SORRY LET ME ASK THEM RN IF I CAN ADD YOU

Before you can even come up with a way to tell them that you really don't mind that you haven't gotten access to this apparently dead group chat, you see a text from a group chat titled The Hottest People Ever. You giggle at the title before switching over to see what's going on there.

Hange's typing when you get loaded in, but they're taking a while to type out whatever they're trying to say, so you go to check who's in the group chat. There's two numbers you don't have saved (presumably Mike and Moblit), Hange, of course, Levi, and Erwin.

Erwin's number is actually saved as "Erwin (WORK, DO NOT ANSWER)" because you haven't had the chance to change it since becoming better friends, so you quickly remove the parenthetical before clicking back to the chat.

Hange - 5:30 PM

Hello!!! WELCOME TO THE GROUP CHAT ASTRAEA!! Everyone say hi pls :D 

Unknown Number - 5:31 PM

Hello! This is Moblit :)

You - 5:32 PM

hi!! happy birthday ^^

You quickly go to add him to your contacts, as well as Mike since he’s probably the other number you don’t already have.

Moblit - 5:33 PM

Oh, thank you!

Everyone else is probably busy, going by the fact that there’s no other texts that come in, so you exit out of the chat to scroll through SNS.

In the middle of you reading some random news article talking about the economy, you get a text from Erwin.

Weird, he never texts you. If anything, he’s the type to only call.

You tap on the notification to see what’s up.

Erwin - 6:05 PM

Sorry for the late notice, but could you stay late tomorrow? I need help with something.

The period at the end of the message comes off as way more passive aggressive than you’re sure he intended, but you still feel intimidated by the relatively minor punctuation.

You - 6:08 PM

Sure.

You cringe when you go to send the message, the capitalization and punctuation too serious for how you normally text, but you figure that’s good enough of a way to respond to Erwin (who was just speaking to you as your boss and not your friend).

You hope that he takes offense to your reply, actually. Who actually wants to stay even later than normal at their fucking office job?

You get home soon thereafter, and while you do your homely chores and get dinner ready, you try your best to take your mind off of the impending doom that awaits you at work tomorrow. Knowing how the workflow has been for the last… four months now, Erwin’s probably asking for your help for the rest of the week and not just Tuesday.

At least you have Saturday’s dinner to look forward to. Maybe you can tell the waiter to pick Erwin’s credit card in the roulette.

✰

The next morning when you leave for work, you're unsurprised to see Moblit walking out of Hange's apartment, arms full with bags of gifts. You both wave to each other in greeting, and because you're both headed in the same direction, you end up walking together.

“Need help with the gifts?”

“No, I’m alright. Thank you for offering, though!”

“You sure? Your arms are, uh, pretty full.”

“Yeah, I don’t mind.”

There’s a door between where you are and where the elevator is, so you go ahead and get that open so he can get through. You push the button for the ground floor, and he thanks you before the both of you step into the lift.

“How’re you and Hange? You guys look really happy together,” you tell him in earnest.

“Oh! Have they finally told you? I thought they wanted to keep it a secret, like, for fun.”

You roll your eyes. “They haven’t, you guys are just terrible at sneaking around.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Yeah, I guess we are. I run into you practically every time I’m leaving their place.”

“Yeah, I don’t really know what you were thinking with that,” you say.

The elevator beeps once you’ve reached the ground floor, and you step out first so you can hold the doors open as he stumbles out. He thanks you, and before you split paths, he answers your question from earlier.

“And we’re great, I feel like I’m falling in love with them all over again,” he beams. “I’ve had a crush on them since uni, but I didn’t really know what to do about it until a couple months ago.”

You reflexively smile and go to put a hand over your heart. Moblit’s such a sweet guy, you really couldn’t wish anyone better for your best friend.

“You guys are so cute,” you gush. “Drop hints to go public, yeah? I have a bunch of candid photos of you and them walking in the courtyard here, and I’m sure Hange would want them.”

He perks up. “Wait, could you send those to me? My phone wallpaper is just an old picture of us at graduation, but I’ve been meaning to change it.”

You nod enthusiastically. “Yeah, of course, I’ll get them to you!”

You wave goodbye to him, and he gives you a nod before heading off to the parking lot and presumably back to his car.

Ugh, you hate the both of them (in a “they’re so cute, I need to strangle them” kind of way).

As you’re walking over to the bus station, you sigh, remembering what Erwin texted you yesterday.

Thinking about it presently, what is there for you to even help him with? He definitely is the better lawyer between the two of you (objectively, at the very least), so what does he need you specifically for?

Yeah, you most definitely will be making sure his card gets chosen on Saturday.

✰

Turns out, Erwin needed you to review some work reports, entrusting the task to you while he's gone at higher-up meetings. You were right to assume that it wouldn’t be just Tuesday—it was Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

Reviewing such paperwork isn’t particularly difficult, but it takes fucking forever, and you can’t afford to make any mistakes. Because of this, the next couple of days pass by slowly, with both nothing and everything happening all at once.

Unfortunately, the slow pace doesn’t mean anything anyway because you aren't able to get even a second to breathe, and when you finally go to take your seat next to Levi on Friday at 3:02 PM, you can only greet him with a defeated sigh.

It’s a miracle you’re here at all, considering how late you’ve been coming out of the office for the last 3 days. How you managed to get all of your work done before this exact moment, you have no idea.

You’re too exhausted to try and strike up conversation in the moment, so you prop your briefcase up higher so you can put your head down on it comfortably and close your eyes.

“Sorry, is it okay if I rain check on talking today?” Your voice comes out weaker than you intend it to, but you’re much too tired to pay any attention to it.

You feel a bit of weight at your left side, and you’re unsurprised when you turn to see that Levi’s lightly tapped his shoulder against yours.

“Yeah, get some sleep.”

You hum tiredly. “I don’t need sleep.”

“You sure about that?”

“Yep, I just need to quit my job,” you whine. “Ugh, I still have to go grocery shopping, maybe I’ll go tomorrow.”

“Are you actually going to do that? Quit your job?”

“Of course not, but it’s nice to dream.”

Your mind actually is too busy to let you fall asleep even with your head down, so you just sit there quietly, waiting for the bus to eventually get to your destination.

For whatever reason, it feels like it’s enough to just be sitting next to Levi. Your nerves leave you slowly, and you eventually get to settle further into your spot and enjoy as the scenery passes you by.

It’s the middle of spring, so the flora on the route is in full bloom, lighting up the way with bright colors and visible gusts of pollen.

You wish you could muster up the energy to talk to Levi—to ask him about his week, to tell him about yours.. You’re not physically tired; you very well could.

But when you turn to look at him, he looks content with the silence that covers the two of you, going by his stare out at the same flowery paths that pass by in the window.

You open your mouth to speak, but you can’t find the words to say. Somehow, you can sense that if you do talk, he’s just going to tell you to shut up anyway.

Or maybe he’d look up the definition of “rain check” on his phone to make sure you understand what it means.

You smile gently at the thought before putting your head down again on your briefcase, and you close your eyes. Not really to sleep, but you might as well try to get some of your energy back before heading home.

✰

When the bus’s sound system tells you that you’ve reached Rose, you lift your head from your briefcase and yawn, making sure to cover your mouth. “Get home safe, Levi,” you tell him, slowly blinking yourself awake.

When you wave goodbye to him, however, you’re taken off-guard by the warmth that takes over you when he takes hold of your hand and gently pulls you up.

You get the message quickly enough and scramble to get your briefcase secured in your other hand, but you’re unable to ask any questions as you try to get yourself oriented enough to get off the bus. 

You manage to tell the driver a “thank you,” but other than that, you’re at a loss for words until you’re both safely on the sidewalk, the bus leaving a huge gust of wind behind it and blowing both your and Levi's hair in all directions.

The two of you just stare at each other, daring the other to speak, but you hardly feel like you’re the one who has to do any explaining.

And he probably feels the same way, because he wordlessly turns away from you and lightly tugs at your hand. When he starts walking, you have to jog a step or two to catch up with him.

“Where are we going?”

He doesn’t slow his pace, instead giving a squeeze to your hand. The contact is hardly meaningful in that he’s probably only holding your hand to drag you around, so you won’t take it as anything else.

“Surprise.”

Well, you doubt he could take you anywhere surprising, especially when you know that the only things in the immediate area are Magnolia Floral Company, the supermarket, and his car, but you suppose you’ll entertain him. Not like you have anywhere else to be anyway.

When you’re taken to the front of the supermarket, you’re hardly surprised, but you still play along. “The grocery store? I never would’ve guessed!”

He rolls his eyes and flicks your forehead, eliciting a whine from you. “Really, now?”

While you rub at your forehead to make a show of the pain (it really doesn’t hurt at all, it’s just in good fun), he drags you both over to get a shopping cart. He puts his backpack in, and you follow suit with your briefcase.

He lets go of your hand to push the cart, and you feel like you miss the warmth. It’s hardly winter, and the weather is definitely warm enough, but your hand feels… cold, all of a sudden.

Instead of weaving through the lanes like you’d think he normally would, he stops at the very beginning of the produce section and just stares at you.

You blink owlishly at him. “What’re you looking at me for?”

He rolls his eyes, almost ruefully so. “You’re the one who has to get groceries, or did you forget already?”

You raise an eyebrow. “That’s why we’re here?”

“Yes, so start putting shit in and let me pay while you’re at it,” he says. Before you can protest, he continues. “And none of your ‘stop paying me back’ shit, we both know neither of us are letting up anytime soon.”

You’re still frozen in place, at yet another loss for words, but when Levi reaches over to seemingly try and flick your forehead again, you move out of the way to get out in front of him. “Okay, okay, but you have to get something too. I don’t want this to be a waste of your time.”

He scoffs. “As if I have anything better to do right now.”

You lead the both of you through the aisles, looking at anything and everything. You’re hesitant to add things to the cart, but even when you put things back on the shelf, Levi moves to put them in anyway. You chastise him for it, telling him you don’t want him spending too much money on you, but he just flips you off and continues to follow you as you venture through the store.

At the checkout, he’s quick to get ahead of you so you don't get the chance to pay, and you just roll your eyes before loading everything on the conveyor belt.

When the cashier hands the receipt to him, Levi scratches both the singular and total prices out with his nail before handing the long sheet to you. “For you to make your stars.”

You take it from him with a nod, and you tuck it into your pocket before helping him put everything back in the cart. He pushes it out for you, and before you know it, you’re both in front of his car.

“I assume you’re driving me home.”

“No, you’re gonna have to haul all of this stuff back to the bus,” he deadpans. “Yes, get in.”

You laugh. “At least let me help put everything in your car.”

He shakes his head, but he lets you do just that. He wheels the cart back to its designated space in the parking lot after handing you his keys to start the car, and you get yourself situated in the passenger seat after you do that. By the time he comes back, you’ve already torn off your first strip of paper, and you’re looping it onto itself.

He reaches over you to his glove box, and from it, he pulls out a small box of blueberry merlot tea. He puts it between the both of you on the little open space, probably because your hands aren’t free in the moment.

“Did you take me grocery shopping because you forgot to bring the tea with you?” You ask.

He hums to himself as he goes to back out of the parking space, his hand on the back of your headrest. “Maybe,” he replies, “but Erwin’s been complaining about work a lot more than usual, which means you probably had a tough week too. Might as well help make you feel better while you’re here.”

You sigh. “As if it isn’t his fault I’ve been so busy at the office. That fucker asked me to help with reports all week.”

“Or so I’ve heard. Don’t worry, I chewed him out for it already.”

You laugh, and you shake your head. “Thank you, I guess.”

As always, the drive is silent, save for the rustling of paper. You reach your apartment easily enough, and he goes ahead and parks in the parking garage for the building. You hand him the stars you’ve made from the receipt, and he reaches over again for his glove box to put them away.

You know he’s going to do it anyway, so you let him carry some of the groceries up to your apartment with you. When you reach your unit, you get your keys and open the door to let him in to get everything set on the table.

You’re still at the door, watching as he does that, and when he comes back to you to leave, he gives a curt nod.

“Get home safe.”

“Stealing my jokes now?”

“I made it first.”

You blink. “Huh? When?”

He rolls his eyes. “When I dropped you off after our Valentine’s Day disaster.”

You sigh, shaking your head. “You still make fun of me when I say it.”

“It’s only funny when I say it.”

“You get home safe too, then.”

He nods, and you watch as he starts to walk back in the direction you both came from, and before you can stop yourself, you yell out his name.

“Levi!”

He isn’t too far, so the volume really isn’t necessary, but he still turns around. “What?”

You look back and forth between him and the groceries that’re set on your dining table, and you think for maybe two seconds before deciding that it’d only be fair for him to at least have some use for your groceries, seeing as he’s the one who paid for them.

“Do you want to stay for dinner?” You ask.

He stares blankly back at you, but after checking the time on his watch, he eventually shrugs and walks back over to you. “Sure, but only if you let me help cook.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, and you open the door further to let him inside again. “Okay, fine.”

You go to quickly change out of your work clothes, not wanting to get them dirty with anything in the kitchen, and you bring back the same set of clothes Levi wore last time he was over so he can do the same. He excuses himself to go change, and you hum to yourself as you get everything sorted out so you can figure out what to cook for the both of you. Levi comes back out relatively quickly, his work clothes neatly folded up, and he sets that at the edge of your dining table before joining you in the kitchen.

You aren’t able to figure out what you should make, but it seems that Levi has more cooking knowledge than you when he naturally takes initiative in deciding for the both of you. Of course, he asks you if it’s alright to use any ingredients before he does, but you wave him off every time and tell him that he doesn’t need to keep asking.

You let him guide you throughout everything, listening along as he directs you to chop this, stir that, whatever it is. There isn’t much room for any other conversation, but that’s fine with you.

Dinner gets made quickly enough, and with a pot of blueberry merlot tea between the two of you, you start to eat.

You take a sip of the tea first, though, and you give it a solid 7/10. He does the same, but he gives a 5/10, citing the fact that it doesn’t have caffeine as reason for its lowered rating.

You both take the time now to talk about work, since you weren’t able to earlier on the bus, and conversation flows easily. Talking about the misery of the last workweek makes up for the trouble because it lets you completely let go of any of the anxieties you had about it, and when Levi talks about the hell that is grading college papers, you know he feels the same as you do.

After you’re both done venting about work and your coworkers and your clients and practically everyone else in the world, the topic shifts over to Moblit’s birthday dinner the next day.

“Are you bringing a present?”

He shakes his head. “He’s not a gifts person, never accepts them from anyone.”

You go to cover your mouth to stifle your giggle. “Right, right.”

“How’s that funny?”

“I saw him leaving Hange’s place on Tuesday, he was bringing home a bunch of gifts from them.”

Levi sighs, shaking his head again. “I would say I’m surprised, but I’m not.”

“Does he like sweets? I’d feel awkward showing up without at least that.”

“That’s not a terrible idea, but knowing him, he’s probably going to give it all to Hange.”

“That’s alright, still better than nothing,” you muse, swirling the teacup in your hand. “We could make something together. Maybe you could bring some of it home for Isabel and Furlan, too?”

Levi hums. “If you’re fine with it.”

You nod, going to take another sip of your tea before gathering your now-finished plate and utensils to bring to the sink. You hold out another hand to Levi’s spot at the table, and he shoos your hand away before getting up himself to put his tableware into the sink.

He tries to start washing them, but you gently shove him out of the way before turning on the faucet.

“Remember what we said? No washing dishes at the other person’s place.”

He doesn’t give any contest, but he grabs the small dish towel that hangs on a ring above your sink, and he waits next to you so that he can dry the dishes before putting them away.

The running water is loud enough to fill your relatively small apartment, so neither you nor Levi feel any need to talk. While Levi finishes up with drying and putting your tableware away, you take out your recipe book from one of the upper cupboards.

You check the time on your phone: 7:31 PM.

It's quite late already, so you flip through the pages to try and find something that doesn’t take that long to make. Levi is done with getting everything put away shortly thereafter, and he comes up next to you to watch as you figure out what to make.

“Is there anything he likes in particular?” You ask.

“He likes brownies,” he answers. “Do you know how to make those?”

You look over at him, mock offense on your face. “You think I don’t know how to make brownies?”

He puts his hands up, sarcastically so. “Sue me.”

You shake your head with a smile, and you go to close your recipe book. “I will.” You start heading over to your cabinets to get the ingredients, knowing already what you need. “Could you get some eggs and butter from the fridge? Just take out everything you can find.”

“Yeah.”

Soon enough, there’s a hefty pile of ingredients on your kitchen counter, and now you’re the one directing Levi to do things. You turn on the oven and get the ingredients measured out, but you leave everything else up to Levi.

Brownies are certainly not complicated and you could have very easily just made these on your own, but you still feel happy to be making them with him. He struggles a bit here and there, but he doesn’t give up, which is more than you could say for Hange whenever you’re in these situations with them.

It’s weird. Ordinarily when you teach other people how to bake, they feel more like a hindrance to the process than any help.

You let Levi finish mixing the batter while you get the pans prepared, and you can see a faint smile on his face when he goes to pour it all in.

It warms your heart to know that he’s having fun, even if he doesn’t quite know what he’s doing.

You’ve just finished putting away the dirtied utensils and food scale, so you come over to where he is so you can help scrape off the rest of the batter from the bowl.

You quickly get some star confetti sprinkles from your cabinet to put on top (you know, to make the brownies more birthday-esque, or whatever), and you hand the shaker to Levi once the lid’s off.

After that, you open the oven door for him to slide the pans inside, and you close it once they’re all neatly put in.

Looking over at him now, you laugh when you’re met with a better view of his flour-dusted front. “Can I take a picture?”

“Fuck no,” he scoffs. “How long do they take in the oven?”

You shrug. “40 minutes, give or take.” He looks past you and at the bathroom, and so you assume he wants to wash up. “You can shower, if you’d like.”

“I am never taking a shower here ever again,” he laments. “I’ll just go change back into my work clothes.”

“My shower really isn’t that hard to use, but that's fine,” you tease.

He walks past you and into the bathroom, making sure to stop by at the dining table to pick up his clothes on his way there. You go ahead and get started on washing even more dishes, and you hum to yourself as you scrub them clean.

Levi comes back just in time to grab the drying towel a second time, and he does that next to you while you wash the soap off your arms.

For the rest of the time the brownies bake, you and Levi migrate over to the couch and turn on the TV. Thankfully, you find a decently entertaining episode of Shark Tank to put on, and you and Levi shout at the TV when the contestants pass on offers from the Sharks or when the investors say something stupid.

The oven beeps to tell you that the brownies are ready, so you excuse yourself to go take those out to cool. You’re quick in doing so, and not even three minutes later, you’re back on the couch, screaming at Mark Cuban for passing on an especially cute line of plush animals.

You and Levi spend the next hour or so keeping up with this. Thankfully, all the contestants in this extended episode are incredibly bad at their pitch, so there’s no hard feelings from either of you when practically all of them leave the Tank without any deals.

You doubt that Levi understands the business lingo any better than you do, but you’re glad he finds as much fun in yelling at the screen as you do.

The ending credits roll, and you stretch upwards, yawning. “What time is it?”

Levi checks his watch. “10:15.”

You hum. “Let me get some brownies for you to take home.” You get up from your spot on the couch, and Levi follows closely after you. You grab some cellophane bags, twist ties, and star tags from your cabinet, as well as some disposable gloves for yourself.

You move everything over to the dining table so you can sit while you work, and when you come back with a knife to cut everything, Levi’s there too.

“Can I help?”

You nod with a lazy smile on your face.

“Please.”

You slip on your gloves after giving the bags to Levi, and you carefully go to cut out neat squares from the pans.

“Where’d you learn how to bake?” He asks.

You sigh. “It’s been a while since anyone’s asked me that.”

“Sorry,” he apologizes quickly.

“No, you’re good.” You hum as you reangle your knife to start going in the perpendicular direction. “I don’t know, everywhere? I watched my mom do it as a kid, and I picked it up as a hobby when I was in high school.”

“You didn’t come out of the womb with a whisk?”

You snort. “No, but I might as well have. Could you open a bag for me?”

He does, and you slip in the first brownie.

“Thanks.”

“Did you ever want to be a baker? Not that law isn’t admirable either.”

You nod, careful as you continue putting away brownies. Levi continues holding out bags for you to do it efficiently.

“A little, but I didn’t really consider it when I got older. It’s still fun, though, I like it a lot,” you tell him.

“Evidently.”

You smile, shaking your head. “Yeah, I’m sure.” One of the brownie’s hasn’t been cut properly, so you set that aside for you and Levi to have later. “It’s nice anyway, everyone likes being friends with the baker, so it made socializing easier for me.”

“Had trouble making friends?”

You shrug. “I guess, yeah. I was always busy with school, so I never really went out. Baking just gave me another crutch.”

He nods in understanding. “If it’s worth anything, I don’t think anybody now only sees you as a free baker.”

“Not even Isabel?”

He scrunches his nose and aggressively shakes his head. “Absolutely not, she never fucking shuts up about how much she loves you.”

You laugh. “She’s a sweet kid.”

“Hange used to call you ‘Sugar,’ though. Before we knew your name.”

You cringe. “That’s the name they chose for me? I couldn’t get something cooler?”

He nods nonchalantly. “They would not shut up about how they hit the jackpot getting you as a neighbor because you’d always come over with snacks for them.”

You laugh at the memory. “Yeah, I was still used to baking for groups of people, and I didn’t know what else to do with my leftovers.”

By now, all the brownies have been put into their bags, so you go to throw away your gloves, get the pans in the sink, and come back with two pens to write on the tags. You hand one to Levi, and you tell him to just write whatever he wants for Isabel and Furlan, and you can do the tags for Moblit.

You make sure to put that one misshapen brownie on a plate between the two of you, and while you write, you both take small pieces from it.

“Did Hange ever give me a different name or did they stick with Sugar?” You ask.

“You know them, they never change names for anyone,” he complains. “They say it works anyway, since you’re apparently so sweet.”

“What, you don’t think I am?” You tease. You’re both looking down at your writing so you don’t catch his reaction to that, but he does take a while to respond.

“I never said that.”

The two of you continue writing on the tags in silence, and soon enough, all of them are being looped onto iridescent twist ties. There’s more than enough for Levi to take home with him even after you have a good amount prepared for Moblit, so you have to excuse yourself to grab a bag for him to put his share in.

You hold the bag open for Levi to put everything inside, and you laugh when you see that he’s addressed Isabel and Furlan with curse words instead of their names on his tags. He helps you put Moblit’s share into some boxes that you had leftover from when you made all that shortbread for him a while ago.

You watch as Levi slides on his shoes, and before you can open the door to let him out, you remember he still has your clothes.

“You can just leave the clothes you borrowed here.”

“I don’t mind taking care of it.”

You wave him off. “It’s okay, I’m doing laundry tomorrow anyway.”

“If you say so.” He unloops one of his backpack straps to bring it forward and take out your clothes.

You take them from him. “Yeah.” You go to open the door for him, and he steps out into the hallway.

You bring your hand up to wave goodbye to him, but before you can actually do the motion, he brings his hand up too. You half expect him to grab your hand again, like he did on the bus, or maybe even give you a hi-five, but instead, he swipes at your cheek with his thumb.

Again, it feels warm—comfortable. You almost feel yourself wanting to lean into the touch further, but his hand doesn’t linger on your skin for any longer than it needs to.

He flips his thumb back to you. “Crumb.”

You nervously laugh, rubbing the back of your neck with your already raised hand. “Right, thanks. Get home safe, Levi.”

“You too.”

“I’m sure I will.”

This time, when you watch his figure disappear around the corner of your apartment floor’s hallway, you don’t call after him.

You almost wish you do, only to see his face again before he has to go.

✰

The next day, you feel… confused as you go through the motions of your morning and afternoon. Hange comes over at around 4 to get ready with you, and you manage to fend off the nerves, but they come back again in the car.

For once, you’re grateful their driving is so horrendous. If anything, you’ll just let the feeling of crashing be more paramount than anything else.

Nothing even happened last night. Nothing insurmountable, at least. He went grocery shopping with you, drove you home, you invited him inside to make dinner and dessert with you, and he left.

But the feeling—this one, where you feel so comfortable—you don’t know what to do with it.

It doesn’t have you red in the face. It doesn’t fill your stomach with butterflies. It doesn’t force you to shy away from spending time with him.

If anything, it prompts you to do exactly that. It’s weird. It’s so glaringly different from the attraction you felt in the beginning, when you didn’t know his name and he was just another stranger you saw on the bus once a week.

Do you even have to figure this out? It could very well just be something completely normal, and you’ve been overthinking it this entire time.

Hange suddenly stops the car, which snaps you out of your thoughts. Though you’re grateful for the mental break, you have to grip even harder than you already were on the grip handle above your seat.

“What the fuck, man!?”

They only laugh before going to take their key out of the ignition. “Well, we’re here!”

You shudder before getting out of the car, careful not to forget anything, and the two of you join the others in the waiting area. You’re the last to arrive, courtesy of Hange’s poor driving skills, and you watch as they naturally drift towards Moblit.

Mike and Erwin, upon seeing you and Hange enter, go to the reservations desk to presumably tell them “table for Smith,” and that leaves you and Levi alone with each other. You raise the boxes of brownies you brought with you, and he nods in acknowledgement of it.

“Did Isabel and Furlan like them?” You ask, unsure of what else to talk about.

“They liked them too much,” he whines. “Begged me for the recipe and everything.”

“I don’t have one written down, but I can do that on a napkin while we wait for our food,” you offer.

“That’d be nice,” he says. You nod, and then your group of six are guided by a hostess.

The rest of the night is a whirlwind, spurred by Hange’s excitement to celebrate their boyfriend’s birthday with their other friends present. You hand Moblit his brownies, and like the saint he is, he thanks you before splitting it up between everyone at the table. You, Levi, and Erwin refuse them, but he insists that he’d rather share than have to take so many of them home.

You aren’t able to write out the recipe on a napkin as promised because the napkins are fabric, but after figuring out the measurements for a more… manageable batch, you text the information to Levi.

Levi does actually call over the waitress to bring over paper napkins for you, just like when you both came here on Valentine’s Day, and you thank him before starting to tear at the paper. You hand that one to Levi, and instead of rejecting it like you expect him to, he takes it and waits for you to make yours so he can follow along again.

When the food eventually comes to your table, all six of you can do is eat in silence to savor the expensive taste as well as you can. There’s no drinking tonight, probably because everyone drove here in smaller groups and it’d be too inconvenient to figure out how to get home, but it’s still lively and exciting.

Towards the end of the night, you and Hange slip away to “the bathroom” to tell the waitress that it’s Moblit’s birthday and to pick Erwin’s credit card, and when you come back, you both have to act surprised when the whole restaurant starts singing Happy Birthday and when Erwin gets fucked by the expensive bill.

Levi seems to catch on that you’re responsible for Erwin losing the roulette, but he only rolls his eyes and doesn’t make a scene out of it.

When everything’s paid for and everyone’s back outside, just about ready to part ways for the night, Hange winces.

“What’s wrong?” You ask.

They nervously go to scratch behind their ears. “Do you think you could find another ride home? I totally forgot to tell you, but I’m going over to Moblit’s to, uh,” their gaze drifts off to their not-so-secret lover, “test some liquor!”

You should’ve expected as much, but it’s no trouble.

Get some, Hange!

You wave them off, and you look around at the group. “I’m sure least one of them have a seat to spare.”

They wrap you in a warm hug, nearly crushing you, and you return the gesture with just as much enthusiasm. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you so much!”

You try to wiggle out of their grip after a while, but they don’t really let up, instead rocking back-and-forth with you still in their arms.

Their grip on you finally loosens up when Levi comes up to you, and he practically has to pry them off of you before they let go. You thank him, and Hange’s off to go… test liquor with Moblit, the two of them headed for where Hange parked their car.

Erwin chimes in first. “Mike and I live in the opposite direction, so you can go with Levi.”

“Is that okay with you?” You ask him.

Instead of answering, Levi goes to stomp (lightly) on your toes, and you take that as a yes.

You and Levi give your goodbyes to the other two men, and you follow him to his car.

This sure does feel like a repeat of Valentine’s Day. It's parked in the exact same spot.

When you’re both in the car and about ready to leave, he hands you the receipt, telling you that Erwin forgot to take it before he left. You thank him for the paper, and you promptly start tearing and folding it.

The ride is completely silent, again, with only the sound of crinkling paper filling the vehicle, but it’s comfortable. Almost alarmingly so.

You drop the stars into the palm of Levi’s hand when he’s parked at the curb of your building, he reaches over to put them away in his glove box, and nothing is said other than a “get home safe” from the both of you.

When you get safely inside your apartment, you don’t even know what you’re supposed to do.

At least when you were constantly anxious and high-alert around Levi, you could at least find reason to denounce those feelings and get rid of them.

Maybe you should ask Erwin to give you extra work this week to distract yourself.

Who are you kidding, you definitely aren’t going to do that.

Still, when you go to sleep that night, you wish for more opportunities to skip on thinking about it entirely, and even more opportunities to just enjoy the feeling while it’s there.

✰

Both fortunately and unfortunately, your wish is granted to you.

Unlike last week, this week is fast. It rushes past you, works you as hard as it can, and spits you out without so much as a “thank you” for your efforts.

Erwin, bless his heart, apologizes profusely and comes by your office often to check up on you, but you barely spare him a glance whenever he passes through.

The only silver lining in any of this is that Friday comes just as quickly. That and the fact that the hustle and bustle doesn’t give you any time to overthink any of your feelings.

When you go to take your seat on bus 143 at 3:09 PM on Friday, you have to put your head down after you hand Levi his tea. You ask for another rain check, and Levi doesn’t make any fuss about it before taking out his phone to busy himself.

Unfortunately, because there’s a lot of traffic on this particular Friday, there’s plenty of starts and stops, all of which break you out of your resting state. The sounds of city bustle don’t help either. When the bus comes to a sudden halt for what feels like the hundredth time in the last ten minutes, you groan and lean your head back, looking up at the ceiling.

You chuckle halfheartedly. “Maybe I should just jump out the window and walk the rest of the way home.”

Levi scoffs next to you. “We’re still in the city, you might as well stay here until Monday.”

“That’d be better than getting shaken awake every three seconds.”

“You were sleeping?"

“I wasn’t, but I can’t really rest with the traffic. My briefcase isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world either.” You sigh and prop your elbow on your lap, resting your head on your hand. “So, how was your week? We might as well talk if I can’t keep my eyes closed.”

He doesn’t say anything, so you naturally turn to look at him. He’s propping up his backpack straighter on his lap, and he slides his phone into the front pocket.

He turns to look at you when that’s done, and the two of you hold eye contact before he looks away and out the window in front of your seats.

“You can rest on my shoulder.”

You lazily shake your head. “No, it’s okay. That’s probably uncomfortable for you, and you seem tired enough from work.”

“You literally look like you’re about to fall forward,” he scolds. “And no talking, you need to rest.”

“Geez, you make it sound like I’m sick or something,” you joke.

“Picked it up from you,” he contests.

You follow his gaze out towards the window, and you hum. “But it’s okay, I can stay up.” As if on cue, you have to yawn, and you can see Levi shake his head out of the corner of your eye.

Before you can bark out something to dismiss any further scolding, you hear him turning towards you again. You wait, still staring out the window, but you watch as his left hand reaches over to push your head gently onto his right shoulder.

It feels awkward, honestly, and you kinda want to laugh.

You’d think the touch was romantic, but it hardly is when he struggles to reach over the backpack in his lap and your briefcase, and the bumps of the roads that knock you back-and-forth hardly do anything to help the atmosphere either.

But still, the act has you breaking out into a shy smile.

Had it been months ago, you probably would’ve passed out then-and-there from just his touch alone, but you don’t feel any red creeping up at all.

Just a quiet, comfortable glow in your chest, and a smile that acts as a silent thanks to him for lending you his shoulder for the rest of the ride.

He pulls his hand away from your head, and he reorients himself to look outside again, and he sits up straight against the back of the seat. You don’t dare move your head away, instead just slightly turning to look at his face, and you close your eyes once you see that he's comfortably settled back into his seat.

“So, how was your—”

“Just shut the fuck up,” he mumbles.

You sleepily hum. “You like silencing women?”

He groans. “Fuck off.”

You laugh and shake your head, position permitting. You close your eyes, and you hum to yourself as you try to find your sleep.

Yeah, you can figure out your feelings later.

You know you definitely shouldn’t be continuing to put off the emotionally daunting task, but you definitely don’t want to confront anything right now.

You still think it’s weird, that much hasn’t changed. And this is definitely not normal. That much is apparent, more so now than before when you were first starting to question things halfheartedly.

All you need to know is that here, with him, you’re comfortable.

For you, it’s enough to know that. Even if it isn’t, you’re okay with not knowing anything else, so you'll just spend the next... however many minutes left of your ride through the traffic, with him, trying to imprint the comfort that he gives you into yourself as well as you can.

✰

Next Chapter

[nctstar]

(un) blocked

yongie ♡ hi sweetie. coming tomorrow?

pairing: boyfriend!taeyong x fem!reader

other members: mention of nct and doyoung 

word count: 2.2k

genre: romance, angst, fluff

warnings: reader’s mental health is not great, mention of the vaccine once 

disclaimer: this is a fanfiction purely from my imagination. I do not know the nct members and do not claim that they act like this in real life. I also do not condone any of the activity by any of the characters in this fic.

a/n: this has been in my drafts for ages just because I wrote this when I was really upset, so it’s just really self-indulgent :) I hope you like it anyway <3 Also, if you’ve been feeling like the reader lately I truly feel you and have so much love for you. My dms are always open if you want to talk. 

You thanked your driver before stepping out of the Uber, the cold wind brushing your face and your bare calves under your black midi dress, a reminder of where you were headed.

Date night.

You hadn’t been here for a while. For the past month, you were busy madly studying for finals, while he was busy with countless schedules. Top that with a generous bout of exhaustion from the both of you, and it was inevitable that neither of you would object to postponing week after week.  

But then your eyes travelled to Taeyong’s door, the steps leading up to it, the dying pot of flowers underneath the front room window, and a small flame of guilt lit up inside you, threatening to expand and overtake you as you remembered the conversation you had last night with Taeyong.

yongie ♡ hi sweetie. coming tomorrow?

You wouldn’t have noticed the message if it wasn’t for the fact that your phone lit up when he sent it, your notifications on for him and your parents only. The light broke through the darkness you were in, momentarily breaking you out of your restless nap. Lifting your head off the ground, you became aware of the myriad of tissues around you, the wet hem of the collar of your pajama top and the earbuds that had escaped your ears and were now digging into your stomach painfully. The reality of your situation came to light, and the emotions flooded through you, mercilessly, painfully. You tried to ignore them as best you could, telling yourself he deserved better.

you su

You stopped typing your response to rub your palm against your eyes, the welled-up tears blurring your vision horribly. You slapped your hand against your leg and pushed down, wanting to scream out. But the world was silent, and you had no right to disrupt that.

you of course! see you tomorrow baby

You felt pathetic. You knew that wasn’t enough. Scrolling up, amongst the few snaps you had sent him that he had replied to, ‘stunning’ ‘beautiful’ ‘gorgeous girl’, and the few he had sent of him and his bandmates that you had replied to, ‘cuties!’ ‘hahaha tell haechan thanks for making me laugh today <3’, there was an entire conversation. Your heart hurt at the sight of it, but you didn’t know whether you were happy or sad.

yongie ♡ owie I just got the booster shot and practiced too hard and now it huuurts ☹

you oh I’m sorry yongie ☹

yongie ♡ then kiss it better

you haha omg aren’t you busy rn though! :D

yongie ♡ don’t care. we haven’t seen each other in too long, I miss you

you I always miss you. but we both have stuff tomorrow, we can’t spend time with each other

you not right now anyway

you I mean unless

you you ditch your stuff and come watch me study XD

yongie ♡ not saying no to that. Let’s see how much you can study 😉

you you have no shame

yongie ♡ but you like me like that

yongie ♡ don’t you?

you wow what a charmer

you let’s see how much of that was all talk then

yongie ♡ deal. I’ll be 20 minutes max.

You couldn’t even finish reading, let alone send your reply.

yongie ♡ are you okay?

And there it was. Those three words that felt like a knife to the heart. You began to cry, this time forcing the tears out. A few drops fell onto the screen. Your hands shook. But you lied anyway.

you yeah. sorry, I was sleeping. Of course, I’ll be there, baby <3

You typed and retyped the heart a lot of times before deciding to send it. You tried to fool him like you fooled everyone else in your life – tired of opening up, explaining, only for people to not care.

He wasn’t convinced.

yongie ♡ you’ve just seemed a bit off lately.

Geez. It’s like he was watching you.

Before you could type in protest, he continued.

yongie ♡ you seem to have stopped opening up, love. you know you need to tell me if you’re upset. I want to help you, __.

Seeing your name made you want to throw up all of a sudden. You felt naked, exposed. And then you did a horrible thing.

You blocked him.

Taeyong opened the door before you could compose yourself, and your body felt like it was on a train that stopped suddenly. Thrown off guard randomly, with no way to stop you from stumbling, falling. And fall you did all over again every time you saw him standing there in the doorway.

He was truly so beautiful. His dark eyes stared back into you with something like excitement and love at the same time, and you wanted to melt into the ground like a wax candle. The stripy apron you’d seen about a million times before, wrapped around his body like an unbroken promise. The skin of his hands gleaming as he brought them together, and you remembered the times you had cradled them in yours.

You wondered why you were so quick to throw away something like that.

“I knew you’d come, baby. Hurry inside, it’s cold.”

So that’s what he was doing. Pretending like you didn’t just do that last night. You felt a false sense of relief, your brain running hot like your brother’s laptop as he played video games for hours. You realised you hadn’t thought this through at all.

Somehow you made it to dinner without a word. Your body bathed in the dim lights of his kitchen, you watched the ghost of you, dancing, smiling, laughing. Him bringing a spoon to your lips as you blew and tasted it. Kissing him, letting him drag your waist towards his. You two put made-up romance in movies to shame.

“I hope you like it. I made your favourite.”

It was your favourite. And because you were done being completely shameless, you opened your mouth to thank him when you heard it. That song.

“What’s your favourite song by us?”

“First of all, which unit, title track or b-side, and from what album?”

He laughed. “You are too silly. Fine, um,” he watched a few people go past the both of you, “the song you’ve been listening to the most recently.”

You itched to take out your playlist, but your brain worked fast. “Probably White Night. I love that song. And I watched the performance a few days ago and I must say, that Taeyong guy is quite the looker.”

He only smiled, which surprised you at the time. He stared at you for a while, and you remember you had awkwardly shied your eyes away, not knowing what was going on. “I really like that part too,” you tried to continue in hopes he would stop staring you down like that. “your face, your skin, your voice. Your part. I like the way you sing that part. It’s very pretty.”

Even though Taeyong was no longer staring, your cheeks flushed, suddenly aware of the distance, or lack thereof, between you two. You glance to your side carefully, noticing his faraway gaze on his lips. He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, and you felt the skin where his fingers brushed burn up. He leant in, and you closed your eyes in anticipation.

This time you closed your eyes to stop them from welling up. Blinking them open, you finally got the courage to look him in the eye, and your walls slipped just the slightest. “I-It’s that song. You remembered.”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I remember that day?” He smiled, poking at his plate of food.

“People don’t really seem to remember nowadays.”

And there it was.

“What do you mean? Are you upset with me?”

“No, not you. Never you.” Your voice was barely a decibel above a whisper but even he could hear the way your voice struggled on the never. “It’s just that,” you breathe out, and you couldn’t feel yourself breathe in again.

“Sweetie, look at me.”

You couldn’t help it. The tears came slowly, running down your face. Right eye first, then left. Stinging because of the makeup. You quickly flicked them away, praying he didn’t see something that was happening right in front of him.

He remained silent, but for once, you did not.

“I am so, so, so tired, Taeyong.” You felt something in you rush out all at once, like wild animals escaping after years of captivity. “I feel so overwhelmed, and lost, and confused. University is so hard, I can’t find work, and I only have one friend. That one friend talks to me all the time but I just can’t open up to her.”

You decided by then it was too late to save face, so you heaved in a huge sob.

“My childhood friends are closer to the friends they made in university than me. And that hurts me so much. That I’m their second choice. But I know it’s not their fault. I feel myself distancing from them every day, but I just can’t stop it.”

A tiny voice inside you screams, enough, enough, but you keep going. You know from nights spent crying for hours, mornings lying in bed feeling completely empty, walks you take with no direction or sense of time, that once you start, you cannot stop.

“Everyone asks me how I am, but they don’t care enough to listen to the answer. They don’t pick up on the signs. I don’t feel special or noticed anymore. I just feel so unlovable and alone. Everyone’s moved on with their own lives, leaving me behind. And I know this all sounds silly because,” your eyes found comfort in Taeyong’s soulful ones, “I have you.”

He’s stunned, understandably so. But he doesn’t remain silent.

“I’m so, so sorry, love.” You couldn’t remember when he had reached out, but you felt your hand in his. “It’s okay to feel that way, you know? People can feel lonely with heaps of people around them. Trust me, I know that feeling.”

You nodded, sniffling. “I just don’t know why it upsets me so much.”

“Maybe because you value deep connections. You need that to feel loved. And maybe you’ve been bottling it up for so long it just hurts more and more every day. I’m sorry that you didn’t feel safe enough to share that with anyone.”

“I mean,” you reached for a tissue and he pushed the box forward for you, “not anymore.” You laughed emptily.

Feeling the warmth of his hand, you became aware of the way your long nails were digging into this palm. You retracted immediately. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise.”

“There’s no need to apologise, love. Especially not for opening up.” You found the courage to look directly at Taeyong, and for a moment you felt your chest opening up, your heartbeat wiring down, your muscles un-tense under the glow of his reassuring gaze. For a second, everything felt good. Okay.

“Thank you.”

“That’s no problem. Do you want to use the bathroom, or do something else?”

“Well, I want to eat Taeyong’s cooking.” You let yourself breathe, chuckle gently. Taeyong smiled, looking embarrassed. “I have a confession to make. This is all Doyoung. I messed up the first time.”

This time you laughed for real, and the room no longer felt as heavy as it did before. “I’m flattered that not one, but two men were involved in date night.”

The smile that radiated across Taeyong’s perfect features was something that filled you with intense joy, and you remember thinking that you wanted to store it somewhere, in your pocket or in the small crevices of your locket so that you could capture that feeling forever.

It’s not like he was a cure, or that he solved your problems in any way. You knew that no one was capable of that but you, or, by some miracle that would shoot down from the sky. But you were glad he was always there, just him, his eyes seeing you – the real you without the weight of expectations that everyone else had placed on your already weary back. Making you tense and pull away even at the gentlest caress. You had many nights like the one that made you block Taeyong, but you also had many date nights like the one that had just passed.

“I’ve always wanted to ask,” you leant your head against Taeyong’s shoulder, “why do you keep that pot plant? It’s basically dead.”

“It’s not, love. It’s still alive. I water it when I can.”

You shuffled your head up to face him again. You could see the moonlight dancing across the ridge of his nose. “But why?”

He shrugged, looking out into the distance. “I just do.”

You were glad you had someone like Taeyong to even want to block in the first place. Someone who waters half-dead plants, someone who calls his best friend when he’s burnt his girlfriend’s food for date night. Someone who remembers the little things like the way your eyes light up when you talk about your favourite song, the way your hair falls across your face, the way you look before you finally burst into tears.

Someone you could never block in real life.

[hellothere-generalangsty]

beautiful person award!!! Once you are given this award you’re supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out. 💕

Hiii there! 🥰

Thank you very much for thinking i'm a beautiful person, it means a lot 🥺💙

Not everyone has their asks open and as I'm a tad bit tired rn I'm going to mention the peeps that I love to see and/or interact with!

@m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s of course you're beautiful my little moon 🌙 always so happy to chat with you and our hcs always make my heart go brrrrrrr 🥰

@loth-wolffe my little sun ☀️ you're always so sweet and funny, and it's always a real pleasure to read your stories (or write for you) 🌌

@fictional-men-ruin-lives our late night chats and stories are always so interesting, and I'm very happy we get to be hyped and sad and amused over the clones and their life! 💗

@chaoticvampirejedi I'm still thinking of a way to introduce a dino-vampire in a fic just for the sake of it- but really you're a very nice person and be sure to tag me the day you'll post something because I know it will be amazing! 🌸

@mintywriteswritings Minty 🤠 it's always a pleasure to chat with you and read your stories; they always make my knees weak and my heart float away in happiness (or pain, but it's always well-written) 🥰

@murdertoothpick I'm still not over your Fives' fic 🥺 You always find a way to hit me in the guts with your stories, and I love going back to them and read them again 💗

@namesmox @tootalltech it's always so nice to read your comments and interact with you both, I feel kind of protective of you? 😂 you're just very nice and it always makes me happy to see you in my notifs! 🌸

@amikoroyaiart I know we don't really interact but your art always is so soothing and beautiful 🥰 now I'm very soft for Fox and the Corries and it's all because of you 😂

@rebekadjarin I love our chats about the épisodes and I really hope tomorrow's episode will give us enough to talk about 👀 You're very mature and I really like the way you push your arguments further than "yes" or "no" 😊

@ladykatakuri I really enjoy your fics and our little chats every time I pop up in your dms 😂 You're a very cool person and it's always nice to see you in my notifs 🌸

And obviously, all the people who decided to follow my messy blog, and are now dealing with my shitposts and my painful stories and my 2am thoughts 😂 (speaking of which- Fives' shower gel is back in my shower and I am very happy now)

Overall; I'm just very happy - and grateful - because I never thought I would meet such nice, talented, cool persons... And you made that first month on this hell of a website so much funnier and pleasant than I could have ever hoped-

I'm just... Yeah, grateful.

Honestly happy.

And even if it's just words on a screen, and profile pictures of fictional characters, and colored pixels... Well- it's more than that, and you all matter to me. So thank you for being who you are, for being so kind and lovely and funny and for being there 💙

[subwonwooagenda]

Candy’s Regulars | 1

MASTERLIST

Teaser

Pairings: Camgirl!Reader X SVT

Constant Warnings: Group masturbations (sometimes), smut, use of toys, kink usage, language

Chapter Notes: This is the first official chapter of this series. I hope you’ll enjoy it and please don’t hesitate to leave feedback, good or not. Thank you for reading! The story will be in POV’s but it’ll be in third person limited (search it up), there will be no smut in this chapter, its more about you getting to know your lovely regulars more ;) That just means the next chapter will be filled to the brim with smut, also, Cheol has a hamster, enjoy that XD

Chapter Warnings: language

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeonghan’s POV

Jeonghan was in awe. He didn’t know what to do or how to act with the message invite that seemed to be mocking the scream he gave as he slammed his computer shut two minutes ago.

“Okay, Han. You can do this. It’s not that big a deal. Your favorite cammer sends you an invite to be in a group chat. Happens all the time.” He tried to hype himself, his shaking hand hovering the mouse over the accept button as he screams internally. 

He gave a final sigh, pressing the right mouse button before squeezing his eyes shut. After a minute of having his eyes closed, he peeped one open, seeing the active chat that he was now a part of.

candy_princess: Oh good, Hanni is here!

He winced as he heard his audible whimper. God, he could only imagine what his name would sound like coming out of your mouth.

thetigerkingKS: Ayye, welcome to the VIP’s dude

SuperiorMaknaeDino: Holy fuck that just hit me- We’re Candy’s VIP’s bro

DroopyEyedJun: We the superior ones-

Jeonghan gave a small laugh as he read the chat, the men that were with him certainly were funny.

PrettyHanni: Ahh, i would have joined sooner but i was having an internal crisis, i guess you can call it.

S_Cheol: So basically, you were fanboying?

GentleHong: Dude, who wouldn’t fanboy over Candy?

DivaBoo: EXPOSED

HappyVirusMinnie: OOF

With a shake of his head, Jeonghan typed out a reply, figuring there was no sense in hiding his blatant fanboy moment.

PrettyHanni: Oh yeah? Don’t sit there and tell me you didn’t freak the fuck out

skyscraperGYU: I know for sure i did

S_Cheol: oh im not, i literally threw my phone across my room and scared my hamster- 

Jeonghan laughed loudly as he got himself comfortable on his bed, propping his laptop on his lap.

candy_princess: AWW you have a hamster?!

S_Cheol: haha, yea i do, he’s a little shit though

sweaterpaws_Wonwoo: Dude dont disrespect your hamster like that smh

S_Cheol: okay well when he decides to crawl into your hoodie sleeve and bite your armpit then you’ll realize-

As Jeonghan was reading (and laughing) the chat, he started thinking. He’s been watching your lives for a long time now, almost a year and a half, with the same thirteen men on a constant, yet he knew nothing about them. Then again, most people don’t try and make friendships of the basis ‘Hey, i jack off to this camgirl and i know you do too, wanna hang out?’ He gave a laugh at that thought, just imagining the scenario until he was brought back to reality by the chat.

SuperiorMaknaeDino: Hey, Candy? can i ask something

candy_princess: of course!

SuperiorMaknaeDino: I’m not complaining, but why did you make this group chat?

iconicboyhansol: I’ve been wondering that too

As Jeonghan read what he typed he tilted his head, getting lost in his thoughts once more. Why did you make the chat? What was so special about the thirteen of them that possessed you, who rarely did private streams and never did private chats to want to talk to them like this?

candy_princess: oh..well to be honest with you guys, it was mainly to say thank you for alway supporting my streams. Hell =, you guys definitely donate the most out of any of my viewers, you practically pay my rent, so i just wanted to get to know the men responsible for my happy living.

musicgodWoozi: im not crying, my goldfish stepped on my eye-

FashionistaHao: Imma be a man and admit, my eyes wet af rn

Jeonghan didn’t know how to stop his heart from pounding against his chest. He knew you were cute but this was an entire nother level of adorable and Jeonghan liked it way more than he should have.

candy_princess: Noooo, don’t cry please :<

S_Cheol: You tell us that adorable information and expect us not to be soft, Princess?

PrettyHanni: Honestly, you just became 10x more adorable to me-

He chuckled as he watched the other guys tease you for your adorable mini speech. It was strange, it almost felt normal how comfortable he felt talking with you and the others, like he belonged there with them.

iconicboyhansol: i needa google how to not fall in love with a woman ive never met-

candy_princess: awww guys >~< my blush is real right now-  but seriously, you guys make my camming so much more fun than it used to be and i appreciate that~

musicgodWoozi: We appreciate you too, Princess, i don't know any other men that would drop everything at the notification that you are live

Jeonghan chuckled at what he said, never relating to a sentence more in his life.

candy_princess: which is why i wanted to offer something...

Jeonghan’s brow quirked in interest, sitting up a bit straighter as he read your message.

DroopyEyedJun: What do you mean, baby?

candy_princess: I wanted to ask if you all would be interested in doing a few private streams, one on one, and possibly filming with me, one on one, if youre up for it...

Jeonghan’s breath hitched in his throat, causing him to go into a coughing fit, almost dropping his laptop. He was speechless. One on one cam streams as well as filming with you..holy fuck he was getting lost in his imagination.

S_Cheol: Oh fuck..you actually mean it?

SuperiorMaknaeDino: Oh fuck please don’t be playing

candy_princess: Im dead serious, i swear, but only if you all want to.

Jeonghan didn’t hesitate as he typed out his answer.

PrettyHanni: Oh fuck yes, i am 100% down

S_Cheol: me too

iconicboyhansol: Id rather die than say no, so hell yea

DroopyEyedJun: Please yes-

sweaterpaws_Wonwoo: I think i speak for all of us, so they dont gotta type, that all of us are up for it, babe

candy_princess: Then how about i message you guys privately and we can set a time and schedule?

S_Cheol: works for us baby

candy_princess: Ill start tomorrow morning but its late and i need rest if im going to be giving special treatment tomorrow ;)

Jeonghan gave a deep sigh, heart practically failing from the thoughts of getting private cams from you as well as the opportunity of filming with you. He could feel himself getting excited just at the thought of it.

GentleHong: Alright, Princess, get some sleep okay, but first drink some water and get a shower before you get too sleepy.

candy_princess: yes sir ;)

GentleHong: fUck-

Jeonghan chuckled as he watched you say your goodbyes, his own tiredness starting to set into his body as a few of them said their own goodbyes, his included. He shut off his laptop and ran a hand through his hair, sighing as he thought about the night he just had. From getting off work to jacking off as you pleased yourself on camera, to being offered the chance to be with you one on one. He was in awe. He stopped wallowing in his thoughts and got out of bed, changing into some pajama’s before getting into bed, mind not entirely prepared for what the next days would bring.

[hetacon]

Prom Queen: Chapter 4

First || Previous || Next

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Word Count: 1,800

Pairings: Endgame Prinxiety, Platonic LAMP, more could be included at a later point

Warning: Swearing, small food mention, let me know if there’s anything I missed!

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Summary: “Hey Virgil, tell us about yourself, yeah?” one of the girls asked, the guy she was just talking with fixing his gaze on to Virgil too.

(Make sure to read all the way to the end if you want my thoughts so far! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist for this story, my art, or writing! Enjoy the chapter!)

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Virgil started to spend more time with the popular kids after they got back to school, something he never thought would be happening. They were gossipy and didn’t really appeal to Virgil as overall people but Roman was their friend so he started to get to know them for the sake of his best friend. He didn’t even really know them honestly, they almost never talked about themselves or their interests or anything in terms of personal information, the conversations almost consistently focused on the drama going around the school that day. There was something new every time they went over. For a solid month, he and Roman would go chat for a minute or two before going off to find Patton and Logan.

That was actually what they were just doing that day when one of Roman’s friends got Virgil’s attention.

“Hey Virgil, tell us about yourself, yeah?” one of the girls asked, the guy she was just talking with fixing his gaze on to Virgil too.

Virgil looked over to Madison if he remembered correctly, trying to hide most of his shock at the fact that she even addressed him. Not many of Roman’s friends acknowledged him much when they would go over but Virgil guessed they’d taken some interest in him. He had been coming over with Roman for quite a good while now, it figures they’d notice his presence at some point. He had to respond quick though, this chance couldn’t go to waste. “Uh, ok, what do you want to know?”

“What kind of music do you listen to?” Well, an odd question to start off with.

Virgil shrugged a bit. “Eh, just what everyone else listens to, you know? Not really anything in particular. It’s not like I really look for songs to listen to by anyone specific.”

Roman nudged him with a snort. “Since when has this ever been the case? If there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you’re emo through and through,” he said, a certain fondness to his look. Virgil bumped his shoulder with a laugh back, fixing him with a playful glare.

“And what if I can like things that you don’t expect of me, huh?” Virgil asked with a slight tease. Roman simply raised an eyebrow but shrugged, letting the argument go without much more of a struggle. Roman wasn’t wrong though, he still listened to everything that he had before, none of it had changed despite what he said. Definitely none of what people usually listened to. He was never one to follow trends with music or otherwise and Roman unfortunately knew that.

“Do you do anything interesting?” one of the people joining the conversation asked.

“Things here and there, not exactly much. School is a drag, takes up way too much of my time to actually let me focus on anything even remotely interesting,” Virgil said calmly, trying to look casual. He hoped it was working, he felt like a nervous wreck. With a few laughs and a “Fuck yeah it is!” he mustered up the courage to add in, “I draw if that counts for anything.”

“Oh yeah? Mind if we take a look?”

Virgil nodded and rummaged through his bag, finding a leather bound book. This one happened to be his more serious one, he had another that was far more personal stashed away. Only Roman, Patton, and Logan ever saw that one, and not even in its full entirety. The personal one had gotten a lot more use than the one currently in his hands. Virgil slid the book over the table and he watched as it was opened to a page of really messy scribbles in the shape of a distraught person’s face. He’d remembered drawing that one, he was in the middle of history sophomore year having a panic attack but was too nervous to ask to step outside.

“Woah, this is cool man,” Tyler said as he looked over it, others nodding in agreement. They proceeded to flip through the pages for a bit while they took turns asking him more questions.

With so much talk, Virgil noticed Roman jump up suddenly, tugging at Virgil’s sleeve frantically. “Pat and Specs!” he explained before packing up his things frantically. “So sorry guys, I need to talk to them before we have to go to class! I’ll catch up with you tomorrow!” he shouted out as he started speed walking, Virgil in tow. Virgil barely managed to collect up his stuff before he was at Roman’s side, seeing the slightest crease between Roman’s eyebrows. As relieved as Virgil was to be away from all of the questions and potential judgement, he noticed Roman was in a big rush. He couldn’t really place why.

“Hey, you uh.. You ok? What’s up?” Virgil asked, relieved as Roman slowed down a little as they turned a corner.

“I just want to get to Pat and Specs, they’re our friends you know?” Roman asked with a bit of an edge before sighing. “Sorry, I just didn’t expect you to uh.. Hit it off so much with them, I usually just say a quick hello really,” he explained.

“Really? You think so?” Virgil really hoped he was impressing the popular kids, they were Roman’s friends after all. If he was having luck with them, he wasn’t going to lose Roman that easily. He couldn’t possibly do that, not when he’d already put so much at risk.

“Yeah but anyone who doesn’t like you how you are is insane,” Roman said lowly. Virgil thought he saw Roman’s jaw clench for a second but he quickly looked ahead of them as Roman glanced over.

Virgil was tackled in a hug by Patton, causing him to smile as he hugged back. He didn’t smile for long though as the bell rang, causing Roman to sigh. He looked over, laughing a little awkwardly. “Ha, sorry Ro, didn’t mean to make us so late.”

Roman shrugged. “It’s ok, just means we’ll have to get here as soon as possible tomorrow!” With that, he and Logan started to talk as they headed to class together.

Virgil watched as Roman walked away from him and Patton and he frowned slightly before Patton was nudging his shoulder and nodding his head to the direction of their classes.

Virgil nodded back and started walking, burying his hands deep into his pockets. He really wished he had his usual hoodie to pull over his head and hide from the world. His bangs would have to do, giving him a good look at the sickeningly sweet pink he’d decided on a month prior. Who let him do that again?

“Hey, you ok?” Patton asked, silently offering Virgil a cookie. Snickerdoodle today, Virgil would’ve usually loved it.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Virgil told him. “I’m not hungry, thanks though.”

Patton looked at him with a worried look for a second before sighing, taking a bite of the cookie himself. “Alright Virge, if you say so. Who knows, maybe some rest is all you need, make sure you go easy on yourself!”

Virgil agreed, looking ahead of them.

He went home that day and went through the motions in a haze, glad when he finally got out of his disgustingly bright outfit. He stared blankly at the wall when he got a text from Roman.

“Hey, sorry I was so tense where we left things off.. I promise you didn’t do anything, that was all me.”

“What was up with that?” Virgil texted back.

Roman’s response took a minute before it popped up on Virgil’s screen. “I don’t know, I just didn’t expect them to really take such an interest in you. They can be a bit... Stuffy. Like, all the time, I much prefer hanging out with you, Pat, and Specs.”

“I mean, they’re your friends right? They asked me questions, I answered.”

“Yeah, that’s true. Some of your answers surprised me though lol, you are truly a dark and stormy knight after all!”

“Hey, I’m allowed to expand my tastes, aren’t I? You got me into some of your dumb musicals after all.”

“They are not dumb, take that back you jerk!”

Virgil snorted, hugging his pillow to his chest as he typed out another message. “Oh yeah? Make me, you pompous thespian drama queen.”

“I just might!”

Before Virgil could respond, Roman shot him a quick text reading “Shit, GTG, I need to run a few scenes before I sleep! Until tomorrow~!”

“Go chase your dreams of ‘professional make believe’ as Logan would say, night.”

As an afterthought, Virgil tacked on a red heart before blushing harshly, cursing into his hands. He really did that, no taking that one back now was there?

Either way, check in time. Roman was still his friend, they just had a normal conversation like two human beings ought to be able to have. While he seemed a little off-put by some of the changes Virgil was talking about, he didn’t seem to take it as a serious offense so a plus there. The clothes were horrible, Virgil still hated his hair, but he was doing this for Roman so he’d suck it up. Roman’s friends were starting to like him, they liked his art so that was good. Luckily they latched on to something he couldn’t lie about.

Just as Virgil was about to go to bed, another notification popped up on his phone, this time from an unknown number. Virgil stared at it for moment, his brow furrowed. He opened it though and read it.

“Hey Virgil, this is Madison! Got ur number from Roman’s phone lol, hope u don’t mind sweetie!”

Well, he kind of did mind but putting that aside-

“Hi, did you need anything?”

“Not rn but I might! Just wanted to have ur number just in case. Anyways, I’m going to bed, see u tomorrow!”

Virgil nodded to himself before he got one more text.

“BTW loveeeee ur artwork, keep up the good work bby!”

This was certainly... Bizarre. He didn’t expect to ever have the number of a popular girl in his phone but he never knew high school would be this insane. He’d survive this though, for Roman if nothing else. And if not, he just might lose Roman forever and never be able to forget about it for as long as he lives! Ok, breathe Virgil, breathe...

Things would work out, Virgil was going to make sure they did or die trying. Nobody, Roman included, could think to stop him now.

______________________________

More Prom Queen content huh? Anyways hey hey hey guys! How’d you like the newest chapter?

To be honest, I’m not sure how to feel about this one. I feel like all of my writings sound like they’re in an echo chamber. Like as if the events are completely isolated and don’t fit into an expansive narrative and existence. I have no idea if that makes a bit of sense, it might just be my depression tbh? It’s been kicking my butt more than usual.

But Virgil is finally getting noticed by the popular kids, woohoo! This obviously can’t go wrong! We shall see what Virgil will be getting up to with time!

As always, feel free to leave comments or send me asks and whatnot if you want to talk with me about the story! I’d love to hear from you guys!

______________________________

Taglist: @artissijules, @virgils-paranoia, @its-the-cat-queen, @myyoutubecorner, @marshmallow-the-panda, @anotheregofanficblog, @tssidesfamily, @shapa-likes-art, @isabelle-stars, @falsemood, @katlikethesword

[artificialqueens]

I Can Feel it Through the Screen, Chapter 1 (Branjie) - Kiyo

A/N: first time writing Branjie so, seeking criticism xD. This is a Lesbian AU. And hopefully I'll have chapter 2 done quick if you like it.

////////

tick...tock...tick...tock

The clock hung on the wall kept ticking, each of them sounding longer than the other whilst Brooke Lynn mindlessly walked around her living room whilst the tv played some late night show presented by another old white dude. Sighing deeply, she finally sat on her couch.

Brooke could already feel herself slowly falling asleep when she sunk into the cushions. The seconds passed by, the TV finally turning off on it's own due to the lack of interaction, finally her apartment was completely silent, nothing but her own breathing could be heard yet she found it hard to relax and fall asleep.

Not that she tried to relax or was able to, Brooke was hyper fixated on everything in the darkly lit room, she couldn't stop herself. The only source of light being the moon shinning through her open window, the curtains floating slightly by the cold breeze entering, sending slight chills down the blonde's spine...

Brooke finally layed down, her head resting on her firm couch pillow, already hurting her neck. Once again, Brooke managed to find something wrong and it stressed her out. "Ugh.." She groaned, sitting up again, her eyes barely able to stay open as she reached for her phone that was promptly set upside down on the glass table placed infront of the couch.

She switched her phone on, slightly blinded by the light coming from it, rubbing her eye's with her free hand before proceeding to unlock it, typing the very original password '100386'.

And too Brooke's expectations, she'd received no texts, which was the only releaving thing she'd seen tonight. Not having to deal with anybody, as of right now was truly a blessing, that was until she opened instagram, seeing '16 DMs' at the top right corner of her screen, sighing, not knowing why she hadn't expected this, clicking on the little paper plane icon, seeing that 6 of those messages where from Yvie. '45 minutes ago', moment's like these, Brooke Lynn realized that muting instagram notifications wasn't exactly the smartest choice.

'Well, great.' Brooke Lynn thought to herself, sighing before beginning to read them.

-

Yvie Oddly: Brooke, do you still have those rings you showed me?

Yvie Oddly: Damn, you must be sleeping.

Yvie Oddly: nevermind about the rings, I found soething

Yvie Oddly: ****something

Yvie Oddly: I suck at typing

Yvie Oddly: Tell Vanessa I'm too busy to come over tomorrow, thanks, sry to bother u lmao

-

Right, Vanessa had planned this little party with a few of her friends, calling it 'Vanjie night', Brooke wasn't invited to it because it was suppose to be just Vanjie and her friends, and apparently the reason Brooke couldn't come was that they didn't want Branjie to be acting all cuddly and lovey dovey if they we're to come over. Brooke found it stupid, really, but she didn't protest, it wasn't that deep anyway, not that she wanted to go to thay stupid hang out party anyway.

-

Brooke Lynn Hytes: Sure, I'll tell her.

-

Brooke replied before throwing her phone at the other side of the couch before realizing she probably needed to text Vanessa now. Great- with a loud huff accompanying the action, Brooke reached for her phone again. Unlocking it and going back on Instagram. Seeing Vanessa was online, thank god, she wouldn't need to wait forever for her to respond.

-

Brooke Lynn Hytes: Hey, Yvie said she'd be too busy to go to your little party.

VANESSA VANJIE MATEO: Oh, aight, she could've just texted me instead of bothering you, sorry boo <3, anyways, how u doing? I didn't get my usual hearts accompanying yo texts, u actin weird blondie

Brooke Lynn Hytes: Sorry, just a little tired, I forgot to put them. 💞💘💖💗

VANESSA VANJIE MATEO: I feel your negativity through my screen, whats up? I know this is not some tired story bullshit

Brooke Lynn Hytes: im just stressed, dont worry about it.

VANESSA VANJIE MATEO: wait... since when do u put ponctuations on ur texts- call me rn

Brooke Lynn Hytes: babe, im tired.

VANESSA VANJIE MATEO: And im worried, call me.

-

Brooke ran her fingers through her hair, sighing, already feeling her stress getting worse as now she needed to call Vanessa, she was well aware that her girlfriend was only worried about her but it still freaked her out, why did she have to be stupid? She could've just put the damn hearts and said nothing more but knowing Vanessa, she would've still known Brooke was out of it, she always knew.

-

Incoming video chat from VANESSA VANJIE MATEO

Brooke answered, looking at the screen with a tired expression, seeing Vanessa laying in bed, most likely the lamp on her bed side table providing the little amount of light shinning on her tanned features. "Hey." Brooke Lynn smiled weakly, standing up to walk next to her window, getting some of the moonshine onto her, trying to be bare visibly.

"Hey, twinkle toes." Vanjie giggled, squinting her eyes to try and see Brooke a little better. "I can barely see you, turn on a light or something."

"The light hurts my eyes, I've been trying to sleep for the past hour." Brooke replied in a slightly annoyed tone.

"Could've said that without the attitude but aight." Vanessa replied jokingly, hearing Brooke sigh. "Oh, you're stressed, stressed." She remarked, pursing her lips together and trying to think quickly of something to say but Brooke Lynn unexpectedly spoke up.

"I don't know, everything is stressing me out right now, even the dumbest things like my pillow's firmness." Brooke explained, earning another look of concern from her partner. "I just wanna sleep but I can't, like, the couch is uncomfortable but I don't want to sleep in my bed for some reason." Brooke didn't know why she felt like this sometimes. There we're moment where there we're strange things she suddenly couldn't do for a certain amount of time or else she'd get stressed.

"You're having one of those stress episodes again? You really need to go to a therapist boo, seriously, thats not normal." Vanessa pointed out but that didn't seem to help Brooke right now. "What if I came by and picked you up so you can sleep over at mines tonight? Would you like that?" She asked and Brooke stayed silent.

"I have mushy pillows, they're so soft, I know you love em." She giggled, getting a little reaction from Brooke, that sweet smile Vanessa loved to see. "Sure, pick me up." Brooke chuckled, walking over to the light switch, turning on the light so Vanessa could finally see her clearly.

"You look so pretty~" Vanessa smiled, sitting up in her bed. "I just wanna kiss you." She said. "You can kiss me later." Brooke replied, getting a knowing glance from her girlfriend, making Brooke laugh. "You need to make thay face again just so I can screenshot it and make it your profile picture in my phone." Brooke cackled, making Vanjie break out into laughter as well.

"When you're here, you can take a picture, it'll be prettier than a screenshot. Anyhow, I'm gonna put some pants on and come pick you up." Vanjie said. "Alright, baby, see you later." Brooke Lynn blew a kiss and winked before hanging up.

-

She felt excited to get away from her apartment, or maybe just excited to see her girlfriend, a mix of both...but that didn't really matter. She was excited.

Brooke power walked to her bathroom, looking at herself through the mirror, she actually looked decently good, maybe a little tired but that was normal after taking five 5 minute long naps.

And quicker than she expected, she heard a ring st her door bell, smiling to herself, Brooke made her way to the front door, unlocking it and opening the door to see Vanessa with a big smile in her face. "Hey bitch~"

"Hi baby." Brooke giggled, hugging the shorter girl tightly, pressing her face against her chest. "I know im short but that's no excuse to shove my face in your tits- not that I mind but still." Vanessa snickered. Looking up at Brooke Lynn who kissed her forehead. "Sorry, I was just happy to see you." Brooke smiled.

"I can tell." Vanessa laughed. "Oh, shut it." Brooke rolled her eyes before letting go of Vanessa, breaking the embrace. "Sure." Vanessa giggled, holding Brooke's hand. "How about i take you home now, malady." Vanessa winked. "You're painfully cringy." Brooke replied monotonely. "And you're a pain in the ass, let's go."

"I might be but you still love me." Brooke smiled smugly. "Of course, I love you, dumbass." Vanessa said. "Kiss me and then we can go." Brooke chuckled, receiving a quick peck on the lips from Vanjie. "Hey~ I said kiss, no lt peck." Brooke Lynn whined. "Fine."

Vanessa sighed, cupping Brooke Lynn's face and kissing her softly, feeling Brooke's hands go to her waist, pulling her closer but  Vanjie broke the kiss. "Not that kissing on your door step bothers me but I'd rather do that in a comfy bed." Vanessa giggled. "Right." Brooke chuckled. "Let's go."

[peachithings]

Fix You

title: fix you

pairing: jackson wang x reader

genre: angst, fluff

warning/s: mentions of heartbreak, cheating, depressing thoughts in reader’s mind

word count: 2.3k

prompt: what happens when a certain jackson wang comes crashing into your life amidst your darkest days? will his bright personality be enough to pull you out from the dark?

a/n: italicized sentences, phrases, words are y/n’s thoughts.

twenty-twenty is coming to an end yet it only brought you pain and misery.

why? why did twenty-twenty only bring me all of these stuff? the stuff that only made me crawl deeper into my dark world. have i done wrong things in my past life that it had suddenly caught up with me and decided to haunt me in this life?

you had all these thoughts. thoughts that did not seem to have an end. thoughts that has gotten to you and has put you in your own misery on loop.

it all started as soon as twenty-twenty arrived.

-

it was the annual new year’s eve party with your friends and you decided to invite your boyfriend at the time to the party. in the early hours of the party, everything was going great. you were happy with  both your friends and with the love of your life, or so you thought.

midnight was fast approaching and you were trying to find your so-called boyfriend; looking everywhere while the clock struck twelve and everyone around you shouting “Happy New Year” and jumping for joy, your world seemed to suddenly stop when you saw your boyfriend making out with another girl who is obviously not you. you slowly walk through the sea of people hoping and praying that it was the alcohol in your system that led you to this illusion. but unfortunately, it was not. heck! you were not even close to being drunk. when you were close enough to the two bodies intimately intertwined, your eyes tearing up and mind was definitely not deceiving you.

“in yeop?!” you shouted while tears threaten to spill from your eyes.

he looked at you and was stunned to see you. 

“babe? I can explain...” He replied in panic. 

not needing to hear anything from him, you stormed out of the party with tears streaming down your face. he was quick to leave the woman he was with earlier and rushed to follow you.

he caught up with you and held you on your wrist. “babe...” he said.

cringing to his word, you quickly freed your wrist from his touch. “don’t you dare ‘babe’ me.” you said angrily. “you have no right anymore.” you added.

“____, please. don’t do this. i’m sorry.” 

“sorry?!” you snapped. “do you think your ‘sorry’ could fix anything?” you added. 

“let’s end this, in yeop.” you sighed.

he sighed. without a word he turned around and left.

wow?! really? just like that? he left. he didn’t even put up a fight. he didn’t even fight for me and our relationship?

what’s wrong with me? am i not enough?

am i not worth the fight? was i ever worth it?

and that moment was the start. it was the start of your negative and toxic thoughts creeping to your head.

-

a few days after that incident, your friends had urged you to join them for lunch out. at first, you were hesitant to go out with them since it had only been days since you broke up with your ex. but knowing your friends, they won’t take no for an answer from you so instead, you decided to go without a fight.

your friends had messaged you for the location of the restaurant and when you arrived you spotted your group of friends already at the table but there was one person who you are unfamiliar with. 

when you got to the table, you greeted everyone with a smile, “hi, everyone!” 

They all turned their attention to you and greeted you back.

“oh, ____! this is jackson.” yugyeom said. “jackson, ______.” he added.

you gave him a warm smile and said, “nice to meet you.”

“nice to meet you too.” jackson replied and returned your warm smile.

you then proceeded to the seat unoccupied just next to jackson. and the lunch began. they caught up with each other and with each passing minute, you got to know jackson and got along with him too.

truth be told, you’ve never welcomed just anyone to be in your circle. it had always been yugyeom, jinyoung, mark, jaebeom, youngjae, bambam and you. sure you’ve had your fair share of boyfriends but you knew very well that they don’t last long. but with your ex boyfriend, in yeop, it was different at least it was for you. you’ve never fell that fast and that hard for any of your past lovers. 

it must have been jackson’s bright personality that made you welcome him smoothly into your little circle. or maybe the way he smiled all throughout lunch. or maybe because he kept mood of the lunch so light and happy making all those funny remarks and stories that he shared here and there. 

deep down you knew it was all of those traits that made you welcome him. you were drawn to his bright personality like it was your lighthouse guiding you to the right path in your dark world.

at the end of your lunch out with friends, you and jackson exchanged numbers.

this jackson guy looks like he’s a good guy. 

he made me laugh every chance he got. 

his personality is so bright that he’s like a lighthouse that suddenly went in my world to guide me out of my dark world.

but will he be able to handle all my demons?

what if he doesn’t want a friend that could be a burden to him?

what if he ran away too just like everyone else before him?

that night, your mind had started yet another turmoil in your little head. thoughts have started to run through your head again.

jackson is just a new addition to your circle and yet your mind had already started to overthink every little thing.

just like any other times, you couldn’t stop your thoughts from making all these unnecessary assumptions. so you just laid there on your bed until you fell asleep.

-

the next few months were like hell since it was peak season. working as a front desk manager at a five star hotel has been very demanding lately with welcome amenities for the hotel’s VIPs arriving the next week were getting rushed to be finalized by your department so that it could be evaluated by the kitchen department before week ends and it was stressing the hell out of you but you still continued to do your job until you heard your phone’s notification bell indicating that you have new messages that came through. you smiled when you read that the messages were from jackson.

jackson: hey

jackson: how are you?

jackson:  just wandering of you’d want to hang on fri?

you checked the notifications and thought it was cute that he’s checking up on you and asking to hang out. you thought he was cute. you quickly replied to his messages and put your phone inside your coat’s inside pocket and went back to work.

me: hey

me: i’m doing good, just packed with work rn and u?

me: fri? sounds good, send me the deets

you heard your phone dinged yet again and thought it was jackson texting you the details for friday and thought that you’ll just read them once you’re out from work.

-

the last few hours of work were excruciating and drained you. but nonetheless, you were so happy work’s over!

you quickly whipped out your phone from your bag to read the messages that you thought were from jackson but you were shocked when you saw who it was from.

it was from your ex, the ex that cheated on you during new year’s eve. and you immediately had a pang in your chest like the pain you felt a few months ago were back again and you’re to square one.

in yeop: hey y/n

in yeop: are you home?

in yeop: i’m in front of your building

for you, the thing with in yeop is that you just can’t seem to let him go thus, why you can’t get over him. that even after the incident you still missed him.

i was doing just fine without you. i mean i do miss you from time to time but it’s only normal to miss someone you loved right?

why can’t i move on from you and be happy?

why do you have to come back and haunt me?

the thoughts were starting yet again. you decided it was best to go home since you were so tired from work and replied to in yeop.

me: hey

me: just got out from work, i’ll be home in a few

me: why?

you locked back your phone and headed home. your body wanted nothing more that to hit the hay and call it a night.

in yeop: nothing

in yeop: i just missed you

in yeop: i miss you y/n

and just like that, you were coming back to him.

-

the days went by far too fast for your liking and it was suddenly thursday night.

after that night with in yeop, he never called or messaged you back. he ghosted you and as soon as you realized it, thoughts flooded through your head again. and just like any other days, it wouldn’t stop.

i’m so disgusting.

i let him use me. i let him use me like a slut that i am.

why? why did i even caved in?

i’m so stupid.

i feel so dirty.

i just want everything to stop.

i want it to end, i want the pain to end.

it also didn’t help that you just lurked on in yeop’s instagram and saw that he already has a girlfriend. it made you sick.

you decided it would be best to file in a sick leave for tomorrow.

your thoughts didn’t let you sleep. you cried every pain you felt but it still didn’t get better. you cried like there was no tomorrow.

the morning came, the sun was rising and that’s when you felt all the exhaustion from crying your eyes out. you passed out.

-

you woke up in an unfamiliar place.

you hear some kind of a monitor and you slowly opened up your eyes.

“hey, how are you?” he said. 

the voice you recognized to be jackson’s.

when your eyes were fully adjusted, you recognized the room to be at a hospital.

“why am i here?” you questioned. “aren’t we supposed to hang out later?” you added.

“yeah, about that.” jackson started. 

“i know we were supposed to meet up at the arcade but i really wanted to pick you up from your apartment so i went there earlier to surprise you.” he added.

“but i continuously ringing your doorbell and your phone. you weren’t picking up so phoned gyeom asking if anyone knew your whereabouts. but gyeom didn’t know either and told me you filed a sick leave at work.” he continued.

“so basically, he just gave me the passcode to your apartment so that i could check if you were in and i saw you on your couch.”

“i tried to wake you up but you weren’t waking up. checked your pulse and it was faint so i called an ambulance.”

“the doctor’s said that you were over-fatigued.” he frowned.

“don’t frown at me, jackson.” you pouted.

“how can i not? i was so worried.” he responded.

“you..” you started. “you were worried? about me?” you asked.

“i was hella worried. you didn’t wake up for a full day.” he pouted.

“and i know this is not a great situation to say this.” he started. “i initially intended to say this to you after our hang out. but for some obvious reason, it was postponed. and i really need this to get it off my chest already.” he rambled.

he took a deep breath and said, “y/n, i like you. like, i like like you.”

“like, i want to date you kind of ‘i like you’. y’know?”

you smiled at him. you thought it was really cute. you thought he was cute for getting nervous confessing to you.

“really? you like me in that way?” you intrigued.

“yes, i do.” he smiled. “as cheesy as it may sound, that day, during our lunch. the first time we met, i was already drawn to you.”

you felt a sudden surge of heat on cheeks.

“you’re cute when you blush.” jackson complimented.

-

jackson took care of you that day at the hospital. he listened to your needs.

you didn’t realize it at first but it was the first time in a long time that your mind did not think of any negative thoughts.

for the first time in a long time, you were smiling and laughing genuinely.

jackson noticed.

“wow, that smile and laugh was different.” he said.

“it was a lot different from the first time we met.”

you didn’t know how but he noticed. he noticed something that no one has ever noticed before.

“i...” you started.

“you can tell me when you’re ready.” jackson interrupted.

“for now, i’ll do my very best to be here for you. to make you feel safe.” he added.

“i will never leave. i’ll stay for as long as you want and need me to.”

“i’ll be here to listen to you, i can be your human diary if you need me to.”

“and i will try to fix you.”

it made you tear up. your heart was fluttering. your heart was full and it felt great.

twenty-twenty was only half way through and jackson was the one thing that you were grateful to have come crashing into your life.

“i know you said that i can tell you when i’m ready.” you said. “and i’m ready now.”

“i don’t want to hide anything from you.”

“i want you to stay with me, while i fix myself.”

and from that moment forward, it was start of something new.

-

A/N: Thank you for reading! If you happen to like my work, you can support me by buying me coffee hehe

Also, you can send me requests, your thoughts and opinions here

[marvelmadam08]

Baby Blues 6/?

Summary: Alex accidentally shares Ace's first milestone on IG before Chris.

Warnings: Baby shaming (is that a thing?), arguing, rude IG/Twitter comments

A/N: Would you guys like to read any of my original works? My friend has me thinking about posting my chapters on here. 

~~~~~~

4 Weeks (and 3 Days)

Although she didn’t want to give into co-sleeping, Alex found that it actually helped her sleep better having Ace closer. The self-soothing was still working for him, but rather than going back and forth during the night to feed, Alex moved his bassinet into her bedroom. Much to Dodger’s dismay.

“It’s temporary bubba.” Alex assured him

Ace gurgled from his place on the play mat, ideally set up for Alex to attempt some writing but once she was him practically hypnotized by the colorful toys hovering over him, she decided to put it aside for the moment.

"Are you having fun Alexander?" Alex cooed and tickled his little belly "You like the pretty colors?"

He kicked in response. Alex pulled out her phone, going to Instagram. She was happy when Chris finally caved and got one, she sent him so many Hamilton, puppy and Disney related videos. Now she would gladly flood his messages with videos of Ace.

“Say hi Ace, say hi to Daddy.” Alex tickled his tummy again

Ace squealed and flashed a smile.

“Was that a smile?” she repeated her actions, and he smiled wider, gums on full display and a happy grunt “You’re smiling! Look at you, your first smile!”

Alex quickly hit the send button before putting her phone aside, then went back to playing and cuddling with Ace.

“Wait until Daddy sees that smile.” She turned him over onto his stomach. He whined, tummy time was his least favorite thing to do "I know, I know but we gotta do it."

Alex moved so she was across from Ace, resting on her stomach too. He bobbed his head up and down until he met Alex's eyes and smiled again. She decided writing could wait until tomorrow.

When Renee got back from the grocery store the two duo were all smiles, Alex half singing a long forgotten nursery rhyme and Ace still enjoying the tune.

"He's smiling?" She rushed over

"Say 'yes I am, and it's not gas this time'." Alex said in a high pitched voice, getting another joyful squeal from her son

"I like smiling babies, come to Nana." She pulled Ace into her arms "Did you tell Chris?"

"Yeah I sent him a video. I don't think he replied yet." Alex looked around for her phone, finding it on the far side of the couch.

She was positive Chris replied over an hour ago, but she just wasn't paying the phone any attention. And surely enough there were missed calls and texts flooding her notifications. The most recent one being from her friends:

He's so cute Al!!

Looks just like Chris, but has your eyes 👀

About time you shared a pic!

You're trending rn

She came across the missed calls and texts from Chris.

Chris: Al call me back

Confused, Alex went through Twitter. She and Chris were in fact trending, the headline reading 'Alex Evans shares smiling video of newborn son on IG!'

"Oh shit." Alex jumped up from her spot on the floor

"Everything alright?"

Alex sped dialed Chris "Kinda sorta."

"Al?" Chris answered on the second ring

"Hey babe."

"Are you aware that you posted a video of our son on Instagram?"

"Now I am, I get that you're mad-"

"Mad, why would I be mad? Just because his first smile was shared with the rest of the world before me." He said almost accusingly

"Chris, it was an accident. I thought I sent the video to you."

"I'm not-" he sighed "I'm not blaming you."

"Kinda feels like your are."

"I just said I wasn't."

"Well your tone says otherwise." Alex snapped. Renee signaled that she was taking Ace into the other room. “Chris, I can’t undo what happened.”

“I know that, but you just opened up a flood gate of self-entitled requests and opinions from people who have no right to our son’s life.”

Alex suppress a scoff but rolled her eyes “Flood gate is a bit of a stretch don’t you think.”

“You haven’t seen the comments have you? And I can feel you rolling your eyes.”

“No, I haven’t read them, because it doesn’t matter what they think, plus I stopped reading them after we got married.”

“Well a few of the following include: ‘He shouldn’t be on the floor like that, he’ll have to were a helmet.’  ‘Wow his wife just had a kid and he’s down in Mexico? What kind of guy does that?’ and my least favorite ‘isn’t he a bit dark? Cevans might wanna get a DNA test done.’ All the other ones I already have blocked.”

“You know that last one is just some asshole troll. And why are you taking it out on me? I already told you it was an accident.” 

“I’m not taking it out on you.”

“Yes you are! Otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You’d just be happy that your son smiled for the first time.” Alex snapped 

“I am happy.” Chris half shouts, then he took a deep breath “I gotta go, they need me.”

“Sure fine.” Alex huffed out 

Even over two thousand miles away, Chris could sense Alex’s aggravation “Give Ace a kiss for me.”

“Always.”

Both waited for the other one to speak up, but they were too stubborn for their own good. Alex could hear Chris being beckoned to join the rest of the cast before it got too late.

“I gotta go.” he repeats

“I know.” Alex opened her mouth to speak again when she heard the beep “I love you.”

* * *

 Chris stared at his phone, stupidly ending the call before he could say anything else. 

He believed Alex when she said it was an accident, a few birthday and party surprises had been spoiled from her hitting the wrong speed dial button or accidentally using  ‘reply all’ in an email. But having to catch his son’s first milestone after two million strangers bothered him. The thought of being away for any other big moments, only seeing them through screens, pissed him off even more. 

His anger got the better of him this time, he knew it.

 He wanted to call back, text, hell he’d hire a sky writer to make sure Alex got the message.

“I love you.”

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[jschllatt]

NAT NAT NAT

this night I was feeling really meh and I decided to read your schlatt fanfics bc I am simping for this man

AND I DREAMED WITH HIM AND IT WAS SO CUTE

like, we were in a floating platform (kinda big, but we could see the end of it)

We were sitting on the floor (Charlie was there too) and we were just kind of leaning into each other (I think he was holding my hand)and me and schlatt we're watching the sunset (the sun was setting behind the sea and was so beautiful) and it was just so cute I cant-

At some point we jumped off that platform ( we wouldn't die by doing it and we would respawn on the platform) and we were hugging and at the end he told me to do something but I don't remember what was it

Also

At the beginning of the dream he slapped my butt aohcfosufaoufhap

ANYWAYS

it was incredible, your fanfics have magical powers and only my opinion matters

ANYWAYS 2

How are you my love? Sorry I've been away for a while

Btw, these days I noticed I accidentally rebbliged a fanart of damp which had nothing to do with my blog lol

i apologize for answering this a bit late, it was far down in my notifs so i didn't see it at first

OMG OMG LUCKY??? i literally never have dreams about schlatt or dream or anyone 💔 but i'm glad my fics could help 😌

that's such a cute dream ahh, plus charlie was there :) but that sounds accurate ksjdsj schlatt is a very cheeky guy (no pun intended LMAO)

and yes, i guess my fics do have magical powers 😅

and i'm doing great! i'm working on a few fics rn and i hope to post at some point today or tomorrow but i'm not sure if i will! how are you my love?

[trikxx]

Lookk so to mention this is not just any friends to lovers story my toxic side is screaming friends with benefits type beat so😉 there will be some heartbreaking and Shinsou talking to other girls and you talking to other boys❤️❗️this is also a poc reader sooo read if you want i dont own you🤷🏽‍♀️

Songs for this chapter ⬇️

• B***h dont kill my vibe by kendrick Lamar

• in control nba youngboy

⚠️❗️marijuana use in this chapter❗️⚠️

"Alright we have 569 orders to pack Toshi." You say to Shinsou "ok hold on." Shinsou said licking and blunt to finish rolling it. You grabbed a box of packages and put it in the living room the grabbing your computer to print out labels and receipts.

You light a candle and turn on some music (the song at the top) Shinsou puts the blunt to the side and starts labeling the packages and putting the orders together in this order costumers order, business card, thank you card, and receipt. You do final packaging and stamp for the mail marking each order off the list and putting it in the box of finished orders.

"Hey n/n wanna go get a tattoo tomorrow?"

"Sure but where?"

"You remember Sero and Denki from Highschool?"

"Yea."

"Well they opened a tattoo spot on 58th." Shinsou said "Bet we can go." You respond putting another order in the box.

*DING*

"Who is it?" You ask Shinsou cause he pick up you phone. "Armoni." "What did he say?" "He said can he come over?" Shinsou responded "Are you ok with him coming over?" You say "Yea." "Ok then tell him Its ok."

Armoni⛓💵: Is it ok if i come over?

Y/n🤍🌸| Yea. You spending the night and do you need a ride?

Y/n🤍🌸| Also do ma know?

Armoni⛓💵: yea she know and no dad dropping me off.

Armoni⛓💵: ouu i can spend the night bet. Yea if thats the case.

Y/n🤍🌸: i didn't-

Y/n🤍🌸: Aight.

You and Shinsou start back in the orders soon finishing them. "I'm tired as fuck." You say flopping down on the couch "Get untired sweetheart cause your brother is coming over and we have a blunt to smoke and food to order." Shinsou said while laying across your legs.

Y/n's pov

Shinsou lit the blunt and hit it a few times. I looked at him as he let the smoke move out his mouth softly blowing with his head back. "Like what you see?" Shinsou said looking at me with a cocky smirk thats when I noticed I was staring "shut up and pass the blunt." I say. Shinsou chuckled and gave me the blunt. I did the same thing as Shinsou but blew o's "stop trying to show out n/n." Shinsou said taking the blunt "boy ain't nobody 'showing out'." I say putting up quotation marks with your hands.

We pass the blunt back a forth a few more times until I got a notification from life 360 saying Armoni go to the apartment. Shinsou put out the blunt and put it with the spongebob rolling tray we had. I cracked the window and opened the balcony door a little bit and went in my room to put the orders away.

When I came out the room someone started knocking on the door kinda like the police (strong ass knock✋🏽💀) "Armoni Keith l/n how manys time do I have to tell you stop knocking on my fucking door like that." I say opening the door. " Dang Im sorry you aint gotta cuss at me n/n" Armoni said "Aye Shinsou where the hoes?"

I smack Armoni on the back if the head while walking past him to the living room "Ain't no hoes." I say coldly. "Yea Armoni ain't no hoes.... right now." Shinsou said smirking. "Nigga." I say with a straight face. "Im not finna do this with ya'll tonight." Shinsou and Armoni start laughing "ANYWHOO. Did you eat yet Armoni cause was finna order some food."

"Nah not yet." Armoni said. "What do ya'll want to eat?" I say walking into the kitchen with my phone to grab an water and then lean on the island.

"What about taco bell?"

"Armoni who the fuck."(sorry to the people who like taco bell) I say "ima have to agree with y/n Armoni. Who eats Taco bell?" "Uhh..obviously me." Armoni says.

"Awe naw you gotta go." I say "how about in and out? We can go out and get that." K said "im cool with that" Armoni says. "Ok." I say walking to my room. I got in to my room and pull out a pair of jogging pants and a oversized (fav anime) shirt and took off my bonnet and styled my faux locs

I grabbed my purse and house and car keys. "Yall ready?" I ask putting on my air force ones. "Been ready. We was waiting for you." Shinsou said.

Time skip

I start up my car using my remote start while we were walking to the car in the parking garage.

Everyone gets in the car. "LET ME PLAY THE MUSIC!" Armoni yells "STOP FUCKING YELLING." And it depends on what you finna play." I say turning around to look at Armoni. "Come on n/n let him play the music." Shinsou said looking at me tilting his head with puppy dog eyes. "I guess." I say rolling my eyes. "Just dont play no trash shit." I said looking at him through the rear view mirror. "Ok ok and i was going to say yall had to cause yall smoked with out me." He said making this face '😌' "boy.."

Play in control by nba youngboy

"shhhhhhhh" Shinsou said putting his finger up to your mouth and pointing to the steering wheel. "Food." I side eyed him and started backing out the parking spot and driving out the garage. Armoni start playing Nba youngboy. As much as I wanted to turn it off Shinsou wouldn't let me so we had to flow with it.

"Sk machine guns its two of us wit four nines!" Armoni rapped with the song (in control-nba young boy only song i can get down to🙌🏽 edit- i put the wrong song🙂 if you listen to yb just ignore that🧍🏽‍♀️) I turned down the radio. "What do yall want from here?" I asked they both said what they wanted and i went inside and ordered the food. As im waiting a guy comes up to me "Damn, what a fine girl like you doing out by yourself." He says "ahaha" I said sarcastically "getting food." I say still looking down at my phone. "You should me get your number." He says "you should let me get your name." I respond dodging the request. " My name is Shindo and you?" "Y/n" i say

"Order number (blah blah blah)!" The cashier says "welp thats me." I said not wanting to talk to him anymore. "Here you go ma'am." R/n says handing my bag "Thank you, have a good night" i say walking towards the door. "Hey! Uhh.. y/n you said it was!" I heard the guy from before right when I walked out the door "Hey" I said putting on a fake smile. "Can I get your number?" He asked "yea sure" I say pulling out my phone to put his number in.

Shinsou's pov

As me and Armoni are just chilling the car I see y/n coming out on in and out but she getting stopped by someone "who the fuck.." I say "what wron... oh shit" Armoni says. "You know who that is?" Armoni asks me. "Not at all." I tell him. Im not gonna lie i was jealous. But like fr who is that. I see y/n put her phone back the guy tried to hug her but she away "she dont want em" me and Armoni said at the same time and busted out laughing

"What are yall laughing at?" Y/n said opening the back door putting the food in the car. "You petty for doing that to that dude." Armoni said trying to stop laughing. "Awe well he was the on that didn't realize." Y/n said " But you still gave him your number though ." I said. "Yea Im finna block his number rn." Y/n said pulling her phone back out.

Y/n's pov

"Aye. Disconnect from my car now." I said to Armoni "whyyyy?" Armoni whined. " Disconnect or get out. Either way your still disconnecting just the second one your walking." I said smiling at him "ok ok"

I started playing my playlist.

~Time skip~

Shinsou's pov

We got back to the apartment and everybody got comfortable and we ate and watched movies Armoni went into his room and got in the bed around 3 am. Me and y/n were still in the living room. Y/n was laying on me and I was laying on the couch.

~30 minutes later~

"Hey y/n..." she fell asleep on me. 'How cute' I chuckled and just stayed there not wanting to wake her up to put her in her bed. I kept watching f/a that Y/n had put on after Armoni went to bed.

*DING*

Kami💀⚡️: Yoooo are yall coming through to the shop tmrw

Hitoshi☄️: yea why wouldn't we😃.

Kami💀⚡️: just asking cause you guys change up plans really quick if ya know what i mean😉

Hitoshi☄️: stfu. It was only once.

Kami💀⚡️: if you say soo Hitoshi😌

Hitoshi☄️: stop fucking texting me.

It was only once we only did it once. Me and Y/n were supposed to go to their shop the other day but thing between me and y/n go heated and we ended up in bed together but thats besides the point. "Yo Hitoshi your still woke?" Armoni said walking into the living room. "Just up to get som..."Armoni stopped and look at me then down. "Uhmmm..." Armoni went back to his room and got his phone.

"Moms is gonna love this." Armoni said taking a picture. "Why you take a.... fuck Armoni delete it now." I whisper yelled still trying not wake up y/n

"Why should I delete it? Why ya'll ain't tell nobody you guys were a 'thing'?" Armoni shot back. "Cause we're not. Bruh delete the pic and we stay safe. You know your sister is crazy and if she finds out thats the end of our lives." I say slightly sitting up causing y/n to move around a little bit. "Valid point I'll delete it on one case." I was over joyed til the last part.

"Let me drive the car tomorrow." Armoni said. I sighed knowing either way this might be my last week on earth. "Ok." "Anddd deleted thank you for your service." Armoni said taking his water and going back to his room.

I layed back down trying to comprehend what just happened.

*DING*

"What the fuckkkk." I say reaching over to y/n's phone.

*New message from (***)-***-****

(***)-***-****: Hey y/n this Shindo😉.

*read*

I looked at the phone for a little bit 'who is Shindo'

(***)-***-****: from In&out we met there just yesterday.

(***)-***-****: shit. My bad for blowing up your phone just realized how late it is. Text me back when you see this👋🏽.

'Wow' I think to myself bro really is blind. Would this be considered harassment. Maybe I'm tripping... im still high as fuck. Maybe I should go to sleep. I cut on another show to try and fall asleep on but I couldn't. I kept thinking what if she falls for him?

"Y/n." I say shaking her a little bit "come on" Motioning her to wrap her legs and arms around me so I can put her in her bed. "Can I sleep in here?" I ask "Bruh your room is down the hall go there." She said in a sleepy voice. "I dont feel like ittttt" i say.

Y/n slow turned over to face me. "I dont have the energy to argue with you." She said "I take that as a yes." I say getting into her bed.

I felt y/n snuggle under me trying to find warmth so I grabbed and held her close to me. "Goodnight." I say. No response so I start to let go "ok ok night." I heard y/n say. "Mhm thats what I thought." After a while I was able to fall asleep.

2062

This chapter took 5 ever to write but it was worth it I really hope you guys liked this chapter.

🌸L O V E  Y A  B E B E S🌸

[heywritersblock]

matching: g.d

i saw that new insta grayson uploaded where gray is wearing grey in a bathroom full of grey which made me think of the blue outfits and the blue car and it got me thinking: 1) wow this boy loves to match  2) imagine how much he’d love to match with his fave girl.

1500~ words

it’s late at night when your phone lights up on your bedside table signalling a text. you let your grin spread across your face when you see who’s interrupting your best efforts to fall to sleep. baby gray ♡ 2:07 what are you wearing tomorrow???

you snort a laugh, grabbing your phone and rolling onto your back so you can reply.

y/n 2:09 babe, the line is usually what are you wearing rn X

you give the charger cord a slight tug so you can get comfortable and press send. you can’t help the giggle that overcomes you as you think about your bizarro boyfriend laid in bed texting you about tomorrow’s outfit choice. for the life of you, you can’t work out his motive. your rub your hand over your eyes as your phone lights up on your chest.

baby gray ♡ 2:10 ha ha

baby gray ♡ 2:10 was just wondering if you were thinkin those new black jeans or smthng else x

no clearer as to why your boyfriend’s texting you about this at this hour, you decide to be direct.

y/n 2:11 wtf???

baby gray ♡ 2:11 just don’t want you to be too hot or cold or whatever x

y/n 2:12 appreciate the concern babe but i’m a big girl - i think i’ll manage to find something to wear to breakfast all by myself. you’re so cute x

baby gray ♡ 2:12 ok luv u xxxxxx

you reply with a quick ‘love you too, get some sleep’ and throw your phone back onto your bedside table when you see the read notification. you spend the rest of the night tossing and turning, annoyed with yourself that you can’t quite get your head around what gray was trying to achieve there.

the boys have asked you to accompany them on a quick trip to colorado for a photoshoot and some snowboarding fun. the flight you’re all booked on is super early so you’ve all agreed to meet at the airport at 5:15 ready for your flight. by the time you’d snoozed your alarm three times and finally pulled yourself out of bed at 4:00, you’d literally thrown on the nearest outfit and run out of the door. at 5:30, you arrived at the airport to the small group of people waiting for you. you immediately accept gray’s hug, abandon your carry on case and snuggle into his side. you’re not good at early mornings and the soft smile on his face and how he kisses the top of your head gently is his way of showing that he knows this well. your eyes start to close at the feel of gray’s soft sweatshirt under your head until your hear ethan’s giggles behind you. you feel grayson’s head lift off the top of yours and then hear a blunt, “what?” escape his lips. “nah, nothin’. just wondering if you guys had planned this is all,” E replies, gesturing to you two whilst clearly taking pictures on his phone. you look up with furrowed eyebrows and then glance at yourself and gray. oh. you mumble a quiet, “no, no. not planned. embarrassing though,” as you pull away and grab your carry on, huffing a laugh at how hilarious the others seemed to find this situation.

in your hurry the hour before, you’d pulled on light grey sweats and a light grey hoodie, throwing on the shoes that happened to be closest to the door. clearly, your boyfriend had done pretty much the same thing and had ended up in a matching grey hoodie and sweatpants. 

noting your embarrassment, gray speaks: “clearly it’s not planned you ass hat - our shoes don’t match. we’re expert planners, do you think we’d have left that detail out?” 

the group guffaws in laughter as you plant your face back into your boyfriend’s side. you all make your way through check in and security, meeting gray’s eyes when you have to take your shoes off and you see you’ve both chosen white vans socks. 

your slight blush returns and he sends a wink in your direction with a mumbled, “we’ve just got impeccable taste, baby,” and then a swift, “fuck off, you’re just jealous you’re not part of our team,” in E’s direction when he too notices your additional match. 

when you’re sat on the plane just before take off, you smile when gray insists on taking a pic of you both to document your outfits. when gray mutters quietly, “just in case you don’t let us match again,” just before he takes the pic, you get an idea.

it’s christmas eve back in the jersey dolan household. the house is packed with family and friends that want to join in the festivities and between eating your body weight in snacks and playing hundreds of different games with a whole range of cousins, you finally all settle down in the evening to watch a film. 

you’re sandwiched on the couch between grayson and ethan, sharing popcorn but not really getting a look in as the boys eat it all so quickly. about half way through the film, gray starts fidgeting at the side of you. you ignore it at first, then when it continues, you shoot him an eyebrow raise as if to say, ‘what’s up?’ he starts to reply then when he gets shushed by the cousin sat on the floor at his feet, he leans across to whisper to you, “think i’ve eaten too much. my freakin’ jeans are so tight.” 

you breathe out a laugh, careful not to disturb the avid film viewers. he joins in with you and then whispers, “think i’m gonna have to change,” he explains before making a move to get up. without thinking, you tug on his arm before he can get too far and say (not quite as quietly as you meant to), “hey, how about an early christmas present?” you blush again and shake your head as ethan and a few of gray’s uncles all hear you and shout a chorus of ayyys and “get it, gray!” across the room at you. 

you’re quietly mortified as you jump up and say, “no! no! just… just come and see,” pulling on gray’s hand as he intertwines his fingers with yours and smacks the back of ethan’s head as he passes just for good measure.

as you reach his childhood bedroom, you let go of his hand and root in your suitcase to find a perfect wrapped present. “oh, you really meant an actual present then?” he cheekily says, winking at you when he sees the tell tale blush cover the tops of your cheeks. how he loves that blush. you roll your eyes and whisper, “c’mere,” and pat the space next to you on the bed. as soon as he’s sat down, you shove the gift into his hands and wrap your arms around yourself in sudden nervousness. was this a stupid idea? 

your sudden worries left your mind pretty quickly as gray ripped the wrapping paper away and shot you a look of disbelief. “you didn’t…” he whispers around a huge grin. “did you actually…?” he asks as he holds up two pairs of matching red, plaid pjs. “well, i kinda figured out that you like to match so i thought…” you started before you were tackled back on to the bed covers. “this is the fuckin’ best present ever! they’ve got our initials on, too? these are dope! quick, get changed and put ‘em on!” he shouts and starts stripping off, groaning when he finally rids himself of the too tight jeans. when you’re both finally stood in your matching pjs, the look of pure joy on gray’s face melts your heart. “i love you, i can’t believe you worked out how much i love matching with you. thank you so much for doing this for me,” he says sincerely, not quite able to wipe the excitement from his eyes. “anything for you baby gray,” you smile. “what the fuck is the matching about anyway?” you ask bluntly with a cheeky grin on your face. he groans and leans forward hide his face in your neck. you tap him twice on his temple and whisper, “come on, share the quirks,” reassuringly. he looks up at you and sighs, accepting the fact he’s just going to have to be honest. “i dunno,” he starts to confess. “i’ve just always liked feeling like i’m a part of something. y’know, that team mentality. i’ve always looked like E so that automatically makes us a team but with you, i dunno, i just like that feeling that we’re on the same page, i guess.” you smile gently at him, “like we belong to each other?” his shyness fades slowly as he begins nodding his head. “yeah, exactly like that. and now everyone knows it ‘cause we’re the only ones in matching pjs. let’s go show them off and make them jealous,” he says, dragging you close to him and planting a soft kiss on your lips, then your cheeks, then your nose and finally your forehead. “can’t wait to make you an official part of team dolan one day,” he whispers just before he yanks you out of his room to show off his girl and their matching outfits to his adoring family.

[fulldiarywords]

Worth the Thought

The dull, thudding dread in your stomach had started around half past three when your phone started buzzing - the monthly reminder from the cycle tracker app that your period should be starting any minute. 

It hadn’t. Yet. 

You swiped ignore on the notification and flipped the phone over on your desk, hoping that if you just concentrated on the spreadsheet in front of you, you’d be able to ignore the creeping anxiety about the fact that Auntie Flo usually arrived on time like clockwork.  Maybe it was just a day or two late.

But you couldn’t shake off the thought that maybe it wasn’t. And the computer screen was getting blurrier and blurrier by the minute and the sound of the clock on the wall opposite your chair was ticking louder and louder.  Your fingers felt like lead everytime you added a new sum to the column you were currently adding up. 

After about thirty minutes of a half hearted attempt of continuing the work day, you clicked the log out button on the desktop screen. 

“Hey, Claire?”, you asked, peering over the divider at your coworker. 

“Yeah??” She didn’t look up from her computer screen.

“I’m not feeling too well all the sudden. Gonna head out a bit early, I think.”

She stopped typing and met your gaze - “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.  Go ahead, doll. We’ll sort out these figures tomorrow.” 

You nodded your head in appreciation and gathered your things, cramming them into the oversized striped tote that George had given you a few Christmases ago. He reasoned that you loved stripes so it made sense that you should have something striped to carry around everyday - he seemed to always be insufferably cute in his logic of gift giving.  

The phone was the last thing you picked up - a new message notification from George seemed to be screaming out from the bright screen. 

So glad that you’ll be there tonight. 

“Shit.” You muttered it under your breath and hitched the bag on your shoulder. 

Geebs, I’m not feeling too well. Not sure if I can make it. 

It had taken him a while to gather the courage to ask you to accompany him to what he called “work functions”. You weren’t promoting anything, he had explained, so you didn’t need to be subjected to the endless barrage of flashbulbs and oddly boring questions from journalists. He would understand if you wanted to stay at home and keep everything private. But you didn’t mind. George always came to every office party or dinner, even the annual Christmas do that Claire tended to get too drunk at and cry to him about her apparently never ending singledom. Besides, you loved the way George swelled up with pride when he spoke about his experience working on a film - how much he loved creating something new. 

What’s up? 

Nothing serious. Just don’t feel too hot. Heading home early rn. 

I can ring Donna and see if I can get out of this thing. 

Don’t. Isn’t it a BAFTA party? 

Yea. That doesn’t matter tho. Been to enough at this point, tbh. 

Don’t be silly. I’m fine. Prob ate something bit odd at lunch. 

You sure, Piglet? 

You couldn’t help but give a small smile at his nickname for you. George claimed that when you got anxious, your voice got higher and you couldn’t stop saying “oh no” just like the Winnie the Pooh character. Also, there was his claim that when you laughed hard enough, you’d make soft snorting sounds instead of laughs. It was one of the cutest things about you, according to George. At least it was better than the nickname he ended up with. Allegedly - according to what you could remember - it started after one night where you had drank too much white wine for your own good and couldn’t find George inside the bar. You’d found him outside in the smoking section, chatting with a burly lighting grip in a Man City beanie.  Desperate to leave, you pawed at George’s shoulder, whining - “Geeeebs, I wanna gooo home now. Geeebs, lessssgo. Hooome. Goo.”   Man City had smirked and nodded at your swaying frame. “Geebs, looks like your girl needs a bit of help.” 

Yeah. I’m honestly just tired and wanna rest. Go! Have fun! Tell me all about it when you’re back! 

Ok. Ok. Ok. Party is at Groucho’s. Want me to pick up some ramen from that place in Soho that you like? 

Nah. Thank you tho :) 

What about Boots? Need me to grab anything?

Gonna stop omw home. 

Brilliant. Rest up, Pigs. Xx

Love you too, Geebs. X

By the time you’d heard the front door lock click open, the dread from earlier had turned into a tight panic that had threaded itself tightly into your chest.  If you just focussed on tidying up the flat, you wouldn’t have to think about what all the tests said. There weren’t thin pink lines in the suds of the washing up. 

“Hi, darling.” His voice sounded soft - as if he spoke any louder, he might cause your mysterious ailment to get worse. 

You didn’t turn around from the kitchen sink. Instead you squirted more Fairy liquid on an already saturated sponge. 

“Hi. How was the party?” 

“Just alright. Usual crowd. Usual questions. Managed to see Sam for a bit. He says hello, by the way. I convinced Donna to let me ditch early though.” 

You squinted, the mug in your hand slippery from the soap. “Really? You should have stayed!” 

George shrugged his coat off his shoulders, laying it over the back of the couch. He walked towards the kitchen, holding a brown paper bag. 

“I couldn’t possibly leave my poorly little piglet home alone any longer.” 

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him place the bag on the island counter. Tonkostu. That ramen place in Soho you liked.  He was making it even harder to tell him what you needed to say. 

“Besides, we’ve both been busy and you know, I just wanted to be home instead of trying to come up with some clever line for who knows what”, he continued, unbuttoning his suit jacket. 

There wasn’t any way the mug in your hand could get cleaner. You sighed, placing it on the drying rack and turned to face George. He smiled as he met your eyes.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m still just fine. Knackered.” 

“You’re being awfully vague about what’s going on. Did something happen at work?” 

Biting the inside of your lip, you turned back to the sink. It would be easier to have this conversation without having to actually look at him. George in a suit was a particular weakness of yours and he’d been loaned a new double breasted one for the BAFTA party. Your mind was already all over the place. 

“Well…” 

“Well….” He replied as he pulled a water glass out of the cupboard next to you, nudging you a bit to let him get to the faucet to fill it up. You relented and turned off the water after he was done. 

“Maybe you should look over there.” You said, gesturing towards the brown bag. 

“You had a takeaway issue?” He laughed, leaning against the counter edge as he took a sip. 

You sighed and adjusted the messy bun on top of your head. “No. The other thing on the counter.” 

As he walked the short distance to see what was there, it felt like your heart was going to drop out of your chest. You hadn’t planned to have this conversation. At least not tonight.

“Wait. Are these what I think they are?” His brow had furrowed as he picked up the group of white plastic sticks. 

You didn’t answer.

“Pigs? Are...you...you know?” His voice seemed to be getting a little higher. A little faster. He set the test back down, unbuttoning his sleeves and rolling them up.  

“Am I what?”

George turned to you, his blue eyes wide with surprise - “Pregnant!” 

The silence in the two seconds that it took you to answer was suffocating, weighing itself down on your shoulders.

“Apparently so”, you flatly responded. 

“Fucking hell.” 

“You can say that again.” 

The joy in his voice made the nervousness you felt sting more - “You’re gonna have a baby. We’re gonna have a baby!” 

He took two wide steps towards you, his arms reaching for your waist. You sidestepped away from his embrace. You’d wanted to hear George say this, watch him slowly realise what was happening as he read the test for so long. Longer than you could remember. But for some reason, this felt all wrong. This wasn’t supposed to happen just yet. There were so many things you wanted to do before this. Career advancements to be made, trips to be had, awards to be won, plans to dream up. 

“Hold on. Let’s talk about this for a minute.”

“What’s there to talk about this? This is..I think...probably...no.. the best thing that’s ever happened.” 

Exasperated, you grabbed the dish towel and twisted it around your hand. “I think we should really think about this. I mean. It’s a big step and we only just started thinking about getting married.” 

“We’ve been together for five years. We’re still going to get married but it looks like we might be changing up the timeline of life events, though. I thought you were on the pill...” 

“I was. I am. But I forgot my birth control that weekend last month

He had leaned back over to the island and picked up one of the pregnancy tests, examining it more closely. 

“Mmm..”

It would be easier if you didn’t say it straight to his face. You turned back towards the window over the sink, the red lights of the London skyline blinking silently back at you. 

“Maybe I don’t want to have this baby yet.”

There was a hitch in his voice - you didn’t need to see him to know that his face had fallen.

“What do you mean you don’t want to have this baby?”

“I’m not ready. At least I feel like I’m not ready.” The words felt like bombs dropping. 

“You’re not bloody ready? Are you mental? You’re going to be the most amazing mother to walk this earth.” He ran his hand through his hair, his face tightened in confusion. 

“I mean. I dunno. I just hadn’t really felt like I was at the point where I could take care of another life.” 

George moved closer to you, ignoring the sound of you turning the sink faucet. “You’re so ready.”

“Oh”, you responded dryly, “Did you have a conversation with my mind to get that information?”

“Ok. No. You’re right. I didn’t. But I know you. And I love you. And I know that you’re gonna be fine. You’re gonna be grand.” 

Picking up a sauce pot, you resumed the washing up. You were stuck in now, but maybe the Fairy liquid could smooth over how awful this talk was going to get, you thought. 

“You’re not getting it. I don’t want this. Not yet.”

George gingerly laid his hand on your shoulder. “Wait. What are you trying to say?” His voice faltered. 

“I don’t know! I don’t know what I want!” 

“I thought you wanted children...” 

“I do! Just..not right now.” Your throat felt like it was clamping up as your voice rose. “We haven’t planned for this shit at all.” 

“Well. Yeah. We'll sort it out though.” 

You slammed the saucepot down in the sink. “No. You’re not listening. How are we going to fit a literal child into our lives? We live in a tiny fucking one bedroom flat. You’re about to leave to go to Australia for 3 months. Do we even have enough money to have a kid?”

He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and looked away. “I’ll drop the damn film. You know we’re financially sound.” 

You wished that you’d turned on more lights when you got home. The half lit kitchen wasn’t helping the dark mood at all. 

“Ok. Well maybe this isn’t a we situation then. There are things besides those.  I have a promotion at work I want. A career. I want to move up the ladder. I know as an actor you can get that. It’s like getting bloody famous or something.” 

He rolled his eyes. “Alright. Let’s not get petty.” 

The sink groaned a sharp metallic click as the water suddenly stopped. 

“This fucking stupid sink! George. You were supposed to fix it!” 

He nudged you out of the way and quickly shut the faucet off. 

“Pigs. Let’s not get into the sink right now.”

You threw the towel onto the counter, staring at the strawberry print. “Ok fine then. Maybe I don’t want to be like your mum and give everything up to raise this child.” 

George snapped his head towards you, his voice low and harsh. He only spoke like that when he was truly angry. 

“Don’t you dare bring my mother into this.”

“Why? You know she gave up her costumes for you and your sister.  And now she’s a fucking nursery teacher.” 

“She had a choice. You have a choice.” The sound of his hand hitting the counter reverberated around the two of you. 

“Well. Maybe my choice is that I’m not going to keep it.” 

“That’s not your choice!” 

Shocked and open mouthed, you grabbed one of the tests. The plastic felt like it could cut into your palm, you were gripping it so tightly. 

“Are you.. Are you fucking seriously fucking telling me I don’t have a choice?” You waved your closed fist in front of him, his eyes following the white stick. “I cannot believe...you arsehole.” 

He held his hands up in surrender. You didn’t stop. 

“You of all fucking people would tell me that what I want to do with my goddamn body isn’t my choice.” 

“That’s not what I meant….” 

“What did you mean then? That you had the final say in what happened to your child in my body, huh?” 

“No.” He grabbed your wrist to stop you from waving the test at him. 

“Let go of my fucking arm.”

“You need to calm down. That’s not what I meant” 

You jerked your arm free and threw the stick at his feet. “Don’t fucking tell me to calm down. I’m going upstairs. I swear to god, if you follow me.” 

Even forty five minutes in the bath felt like it wasn’t enough to make you feel better. You loved the clawfoot bathtub - it might have been your favourite thing in the cramped apartment you and George shared. 

The doorknob turned and you slid back under the water, scrunching your eyes and letting your nose stay slightly above waterline; hoping that if you stayed like that long enough, he would eventually just leave. 

“Hey” His voice sounded sad even muffled by the water. 

You didn’t respond. 

“I know that you can hear me. And I want to tell you that I’m sorry...I...shouldn’t have said that.” 

You opened one eye to his fuzzy form slouched above you.

“You’re absolutely right. It is your choice about what you want to do. And I need to support you. But I need you to talk to me about it first. It’s still going to have an impact on me. On us. But that doesn’t mean it will change anything about us. Or how I feel about you. How much I love you.” 

The water sloshed quietly as you slid yourself up the back of the tub. He didn’t notice that you were listening fully. 

“And you are going to be, whenever you want to be, the most amazing mother. You’re so kind and you love so deeply. You’re so fiercely protective that nothing will harm our child. I can’t wait to see that. I can’t wait..” 

“Geebs, it’s not an interview”, you said, laughing quietly at the way he tended to ramble when saying something he felt was important. 

He looked down at you, surprised. 

“There you are!” 

You smoothed your hair back, relishing the cool air of the tiled bathroom. 

“Thank you”, you responded quietly. 

“I needed to say it. What I said was wrong”, he sighed, perching himself on the edge of the tub, his back to you. 

“I’m so scared.”

“I’m scared too.” 

You looked up at him, slightly astounded that your take on everything the hard way George had responded. He gently drew a line back and forth on the water’s surface - “In fact. I’m bloody terrified.” 

“Why?”

He concentrated on the line, avoiding your gaze. “Well, what if something goes wrong? What if...you know..we...loseit. Or it hates us? Or it doesn’t learn anything we try and teach it? What if I’m not a good father? Or god forbid, it’s an Arsenal supporter?” 

You pulled yourself up further, bringing your knees to your chest and laughed. “Geebs, what football team our child supports is the least of your worries.” 

“Are you ready?”  Bathwater rippled outwards from his arm as he placed his large hand softly against your stomach. 

You paused and took his other hand in yours, water streaming into the crisp blue of his shirt - “Yes. I think I am. It took this bath and a good long cry. But...I dunno. Feels right. I’m still worried though.” 

“You’re going to be an amazing mum.” 

“I know,” you said, smiling cheekily. “You’ll be a better father though.” 

“Oh..c’mon now.” 

You blushed and pulled your mouth tightly into a smile - “You know, I actually decided I wanted to have your children after our sixth date.” 

He pursed his mouth, trying to remember the exact memory.

“Wait...are you talking about the time we went to that karaoke bar in Shoreditch with Anna and that lot and I sang that Heart song?” 

“Maybe..”

“Are you telling me that my show stopping rendition of Barracuda made you figure that out? Wow...it must have been really sexy then..”

“Oh fuck off!” You said, splashing his thigh. 

“Hey! Watch the trousers! This is Dior! I’ve got to give it back next week!” He feigned horror at the mark growing on his leg. 

The two of you sat silently for a few minutes, content with the immense agreement you had made. George lazily rubbed his thumb on the back of your hand as you leaned back against the embrace of the curved tub.

“Piglet?”

“Yes,” you murmured. 

“When did it happen? It couldn’t have been that long ago...do you think it was after Daisy’s housewarming when we were too pissed to make it to the bedroom and we fucked on the kitchen floor?” 

You didn’t respond, chuckling quietly instead. 

“Or...was it the other night. You know. When the new Attenborough series about Antarctica got a bit tedious..” 

“Geebs, it doesn’t really matter. It’s happening regardless.”

“Yes. Quite right. It probably would be pretty disturbing to learn that you were conceived to the soundtrack of a squawking flock of Emperor penguins. Anyways..Regardless...We should probably think about moving soon. I’ve actually been thinking about looking in Barnes for a while now. I want to raise our children there. In a proper house. It’s a bit more expensive than when I was a kid..but I think we can manage...I’ll speak with mum...see what she can find out..

“Geebs?” 

“Yes, Pigs?” 

“We’ve just decided to have the bloody kid. I’m too tired to figure out where we’re going to put it right now.” 

“Oh. Of course.” He jumped up, reaching for a towel off the rack. “Let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted too.” 

You gently lifted yourself out of the water and stepped into the open towel, wrapping it around yourself - “Go get ready. I’ll be there in a bit.” 

He came back five minutes later, changed out of his suit and into his favourite pair of pyjama bottoms; printed with sock monkeys and so threadbare, they needed to go in the bin but you couldn’t break the news to him. You dragged a comb through your wet hair as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. His bare chest was cool against your bath warmed skin. 

“Darling?”, he murmured, resting his chin on the crook of your neck. “Can I tell you something?”

“Sure.”

“I’d almost forgotten how great your tits look when you’re in the bath.”  His eyes met yours in the mirror. 

You rolled your eyes. “Well get ready then. They’re only going to get bigger these next nine months.”

His face lit up - “This pregnancy is going to be the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

You quickly turned and tapped him on the stomach with your brush, laughing. 

“You pervert.”

“Ow! That hurt!” 

And you wish that you’d known then, in all that doubt and worry, that in nine months and a few weeks time, you’d open your eyes in a sterile room full of blinding light to see George holding a squirming bundle of pale pink in his long arms. So small in his hands. The tears wouldn’t stop and you won’t be sure if it’s the pain of the feeling of your hips broken, body split in two or the waves of joy that kept washing over you again and again, the elation almost drowning your heart. He would lean down, a small cry emerging from the bundle. “Look, Pigs. Look at her. I’m sorry they gave her to me first..hold her.” And the words wouldn’t be able to form as you moved your mouth into a yes. The bundle on your chest while George, his eyes tearful as he delicately placed his thumb on your daughter’s rosebud lips. She would blink, her eyes the same sea blue as her father’s as he brushed her cheek. And he would look to you, a vastness of love you’d never seen. “She’s so perfect...you’re perfect. You’re so bloody perfect.” His kisses against your crying eyes. On your lips. And all the blood, the doctor’s commands, the panic, the nausea, the doubt. All that doubt and worry would be worth it all. 

[its-just-a-fayz]

Heartbeat On Air:Chapter 13

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chapter 12/chapter 14

tag list: @emilybarger​ @lordcheesy​ @sheeswee​ @tayuya3​ @sweetlialia​ @thesickeststupidestcreep​ lmk if you wanna be added!

Diana gave Astrid a quick kiss and walked into her apartment. She had to talk to Caine about this. The solitary elevator ride up to her floor gave her the time to think about what she was going to do. She unlocked her apartment door, and walked to her bedroom. Diana sat down on her bed, setting her purse on the nightstand.

Anger already building in her gut, Diana opened up Caine’s contact and pressed call. Straight to voicemail. She set the phone down. So he was going to be like this.

The phone pinged. One text from Caine Soren. A no-nonsense, strictly platonic contact name she’d put into use after she’d broken up with him. 

Sorry babe can’t talk rn. But i can text ;)

She really, really wanted to scream at him in all-caps, but that wasn’t going to help her or her mission in any way. Right now, she had to be the Diana he always loved, the one who he might tell something to. She had to play a little hard to get, but not defiant enough that he wouldn’t trust her.

Why did you threaten sam like that? We’re over

His reply came barely seconds later, and she could tell he was still typing. 

You’re the only girl for me, diana. We’re meant to be together

I couldn’t let you make a mistake

It wasn’t a good relationship. That’s why I broke up with you. 

God, was he actually this stupid? Couldn’t he take a no?

I just had these feelings while we were together. Like nothing could ever be better. This was how things were meant to be.

Diana took a deep breath. How to go about this.

Whatever you felt it was wrong. Because it wasn’t like that for me. It sucked

You wouldn’t let me talk to any guys

You told me my sexuality was invalid

You forced me into shit i wasn’t comfortable with

It wasn’t good, caine.

She could see him typing, but really didn’t care. This stuff had to be said, on the record. 

I told you that when we broke up. After the mic switched off. 

Well it was wrong

Because we’re meant to be, and i’ll do anything it takes to get you back

We’re soulmates, diana. 

I don’t care how many stupid gay lives i have to destroy to get you to come back.

You’re all that matters 

Her hands were shaking. Diana almost dropped the phone. She could feel her heartbeat thumping in her chest, like it was trying to break free of the cage entrapping it. To run away from Caine. This wasn’t good. She couldn’t do this. Diana’s palms started sweating, and she knew time had passed. Some, maybe too much. She tapped out another message on her phone, wondering why she suddenly couldn’t focus on the screen. 

I’m not coming back

Diana only saw his next message before she turned off the phone and threw it on her bed. 

You will. I know you will

Oh, what did she do now? Even over text, the meaning behind Caine’s words was clear. He meant those threats, and he meant every word he said. In some twisted, obsessive way, he meant it. She had to keep herself safe from a toxic relationship with Caine. And she had to keep Sam and Quinn safe from getting outed. She didn’t know their story, but there had to be a good reason for them staying closeted all this time. From what Astrid had told her, even their parents didn’t know. 

And she had to keep Astrid safe from whatever Caine had in mind. She’d always dismissed the rumors floating around Caine at Coates, but from Sam’s attitude when telling her about the threat, and thinking back to the many girls who had begged her not to go out with him in junior year, she knew her ex-boyfriend was a serious threat. 

There was only one thing Diana could do that would keep Astrid completely safe, and it killed her to do it. She turned her phone on again, and ignored all the notifications from Caine. Astrid’s contact was at the top of the app. 

Can we talk tomorrow? About what sam told us. I talked to caine

She didn’t have work that afternoon, and evening. That could work. It was late, and Astrid had probably only just got home. Nevertheless, she texted back. 

Yeah, i can come over to your apartment in the afternoon

Ok good see you then

Love you

A tear escaped from her eye as Diana turned off her phone and flopped down in her bed. She wished there were more than a few hours between now and tomorrow.

***

Astrid was grateful that she didn’t have any classes today, because it was an hour and a half drive to Perdido. If she had classes today, there would be no way Astrid could make it without sacrificing sleep, class, or both. And, especially today, she was worried about Diana. 

Diana had acted mostly normal last night after Sam had told them, but there was something about her that felt off. In all the time that Astrid had known her, her girlfriend wasn’t like that. She didn’t fake-laugh, didn’t stare off into space, and didn’t sit as far away from Astrid as possible. However her and Caine’s relationship had gone, it couldn’t have been well. 

She pulled into the apartment complex and got to Diana’s apartment as fast as she could. Astrid knocked. It was a good thing that today was a Friday, and Diana’s shift was in the morning. A FaceTime call wasn’t going to cut it for this conversation. 

The door opened, with Diana standing behind it. She looked tired, still wearing her pajamas and with bags under her eyes. Her hair was in a messy ponytail. Normally, Astrid would have cherished seeing Diana like this, in the casual state she rarely inhabited. But today it wasn’t Diana being casual, it was her being emotionally destroyed. Diana didn’t take her hand or kiss her as Astrid walked through the doorway. 

The space between them was tense. Astrid stuffed her hands in her pockets. “So, how did talking to Caine go?”

Diana took a deep breath. “That’s what I’ve been meaning to tell you about.” She walked into the small sitting room and sat in one of the armchairs. 

Confused now more than ever, Astrid sat down on the nearby couch, on the side closest to Diana. “What...happened? Did you tell Caine, is he over it, what?” Urgency teased itself into her voice. 

“I didn’t tell Caine. And no, he isn’t over it,” Diana said, running her hands over her face and through her hair. “I think we should break up.”

Astrid felt like a load of bricks had slammed into her chest. Emotions flooded her brain, so tangled up in each other that she couldn’t tell which was what. “Why?” she asked, her voice hollow and faint.

“Caine,” Diana said, a tear pouring from her right eye. “He—he’s not over me. I don’t know if he’s ever gonna be over me. He said he’d do anything to get me back and I”—she stifled a sob—“would rather have us both be single than you in danger. Sam and Quinn too. There’s...I can’t imagine life without you Astrid, not after what we’ve had, but I can’t put you in danger. I don’t think there’s anything I, or anyone can do to stop Caine.”

“That-that makes sense. I shouldn’t be in danger for...dating you,” Astrid said, feeling her eyes start to water. “I’ll miss you though. I love you so much.” Her chin quivered. 

“I love you too,” Diana said, “But I have to let you go. You don’t know what Caine could do. What he’s done.” She took a deep breath. “I have a box of your stuff in the kitchen.”

“Oh-ok. I have your jacket at home. I’ll, uh, bring it back sometime this week,” Astrid said. “And...thank you. For being my first girlfriend, and a wonderful partner, and listening to me even when I wasn’t thinking right and…” She stopped talking, giving the tears time to overflow from her eyes. 

“I wish it didn’t have to be like this,” Diana said. She got up from the chair and went into the kitchen. A few seconds later, Diana returned with a brown cardboard box. She set it in Astrid’s lap. “For the memories,” she said. 

“Thanks,” Astrid said, but she didn’t dare to look at the contents of the box in her hands. “I’ll uh, be going. See you around.” She stood up, collected her purse and the box, and walked out of the apartment the way she came. Tears spilled down her face as Astrid walked to the elevator. 

In the silence of the metal box, Astrid looked down at the cardboard box in her hands, and saw memories looking back at her. The plate she’d brought cupcakes over in to celebrate when Diana got an interview with Halsey. The coat she’d tossed on the floor in favor of kissing Diana on the same couch she’d just sat on, their lips moving over each others, arms holding each other tight. The green shirt she got Diana during their out-of town mall date, with the dinosaur pun on it. Gold earrings she’d thought were lost forever. 

She tried to choke back the tears, but the effort was futile. Tears streaming down her face, and snot starting to come out of her nose, Astrid speed-walked out of the lobby as quickly as possible, practically running over to her car. She unlocked the car, opened the door, and closed it with a slam, setting the box in the passenger state, in place of where Diana would normally be. 

Astrid buried her head in her arms, leaning against the steering wheel, and let herself cry. Let the emotions flow out her eyes, let the fresh wound over her heart bleed. She didn’t know how long she sat there, just crying, but eventually there weren’t any tears left, and she had to get back to her dorm. Astrid stood up, and reached for the car radio, but stopped her fingers an inch from the button. There was no way she could listen to 104.5 right now. No damn way. 

The drive back home felt like torture. It was this car, after all, where Astrid had laughed with Sam over her stupid crush, where she’d driven to countless dates with Diana, whose windows she’d screamed lyrics out of, the car with all the feelings. The box riding next to her in the passenger seat didn’t help. Astrid almost had the urge to buckle the seatbelt around it, but she just couldn’t. The memories wouldn’t be safe anyways, couldn’t be safe from the bad things that happen in this world. 

Once she was in her dorm room, with the box under her bed, Astrid wanted to do nothing other than sleep.