#it's so good - I love all of Eve's songs
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âšSparks in the Clubâš
#new rarepair Iâve become a bit obsessed with ngl#GET READY FOR THE POLY SHIP IM GONNA MAKE >:3 (bottom half is besties btw cause I live for that type of shit)#I put roxies hair down cause atm Iâm struggling to draw her pigtails in my style so for rn all your Roxieâs from me will have her down#until I figure it out (which will take awhile)#inspo and pose reference from the kororon mv by eve (go watch it now itâs amazing and the songs good too!!!!#)#i made the sketch for this last night finished the line art before work and did the colouring and editing when I got home!#btw#i will be making as many Stacey rarepairs as I can cause girl deserves some love!!!!#scott pilgrim#scott pilgrim comic#scott pilgrim takes off#stacey pilgrim#roxie richter#stacey pilgrim x roxie richter#roxie richter x stacey pilgrim#idk what ship name to give them#weâll figure it out eventually#for rn hereâs an idea#stacerox
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See? My expectations of myself are so low that I did, in fact, end up failing those odds.
And procrastinating on it with working on a prologue comic and suosakunire trio w/ will jay songs art + my thoughts on ras' suopost v2 sitting on my samsung notes like a lifeline Sighs
Another thing? Remember that Goose Mountain Tales makeup/cosplay trend from like wayback pandemic? Yeah, I wanna make a Suo centric fanart of it omfgg but like him as (surprise surprise) the fox demon (i could make it a suonire piece with nirei being the rabbit demon đ€). And i also wanna make a EndoChika song art piece with one of Alec Benjamins songs im- IM SWAMPED WITH IDEAS THAT I WISH I CAN JUST
#eve babbles#if u want to know the progress rn its like 45% done#and then like self doubt hit and all the poses didn't feel right anymore#also will jay? fucking great#his music is so good#him and alec benjamin should do a collab#THERES SO MUCH TO DO#I WANNA DO IT ALL#also speaking of alec benjamin + endochika#the top contenders are 'our love is like a burning garden'; 'o.i.n.v.'; and 'use me'#like??? sir benjamin why are your songs so fucking good#also pls pls pls tell me someone in this world is working like an ELECT wbk dance animation or smthing???#is this fandom popular enough to have smthing like that in its midst and i just haven't found it yet?
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youtube
This is among the best 7ish minutes in music history. To me
#I humbly ask that you listen at least 4 minutes before deciding opinions if you listen at all#I'm currently obsessed with this album. I listened to it once like a 5 years ago and was like 'eh decent prog album I guess' and gave it#another go on new years eve and was like holy FGUCK#Highly recommend listening to the whole album if you're into prog rock and haven't yet. It's kind of hit and miss and you can tell some#of the songs were rushed but when it hits it hits so good#Also the story is fun we love a guy going on a weird psychosexual dreamscape journey#We love penises being stolen by birds#Youtube
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You know WHAT I'm absolutely glad CSM's final ED was Eve.
We started with a banger OP and ended with a banger ED.
#csm#chainsaw man#csm spoilers#spoiler#dia talks#i love Yonezu Kenshi and I love Eve so I'm gucci with this season#honestly im still waiting for Maximum's full ED release cuz i think that might be my favorite one once it releases#Syudou is definitely on my tie-in fav#this anime had everything it had so many songs I liked and the animation quality was really REALLY good#all in all 9/10 I really liked it (ill just skip ep 7 if i ever decide to rewatch it lmao)
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woahhhh so much music
thanks for the tag komishko!
Keitai Renwa (Cellphone Love Story) - mafumafu
DOKUZU (n25 version) - NAKISO
Kaikai Kitan - Eve (<- jjk season 1 opening)
(idk if you can tell but i like vocaloid a lot-)
@andithewaterbottle @anndrag0n @gertthewise + anyone else who wants to do this! no pressure :)
p.s. if you see this, go take a quick break. stretch and drink some water, maybe go outside a bit if you can :D
MUSIC LOVERS ASSEMBLE!!
i feel like starting a tag chain so i hope this works out :)
reblog this with 3 songs:
the song your listening to right now (or last one you listened to)
your current favourite song
a song of your choice
______________________________________________________________
mine:
its now or never - elvis presley/love in the dark - adele
trastevere - mÄneskin
nevermore - queen
______________________________________________________________
tagggzzzz: (np ofc) @heartstopper-lover123 @s0lit4ir3 @ali-da-demon @vicwritesfic @skeelly @charliethinks @tori-my-love @chronic-skeptic @toulouseradiosilence @stewpid-soup @nine-frogs-in-a-trenchcoat @pessimistic-gh0st @theshyqueergirl @crowleybrekkers @a-bowl-of-soop @frogfairy444 @robinheaney12 @fairyghostgirlgaming @thatsawesomedontyouthink @venusplanetoflove2 @thelovelyvie @abookishshade @spir4nts-lun4r @i-have-no-idea-111 @kit-the-queer @a-wondering-thought @scatteredraysofhope @coco6420 @softlyunbreakable @givennnnnn @far-beyond-saving @darling-im-wonderstruck @heartstoppernerdsstuff @nonbinary-idiot-obviously @rebelrobinrules1984 @daydream-of-a-wallflower @leonine-elizer @angel-devil-star and anyone else who wants to join!!
#me when i reblog#unseriousposting lmao#tag game#tag chain#music#how do i tag this#lmao i dont do this often#was gonna put imperial girl in third but i didnt want all the songs to be proseka related#for maximum effect i couldve put heat abnormal n25 version#but kaikai kitan it is because it makes me emotional#because 1. it sounds good i love you eve#2. junpei i miss you come back whyd you have to do this to us mappa#3. coping so hard because mangas ending in 5 chapters what do you MEAN#4. jjk should keep going theres a lot that gregory akutami can still keep covering pensive emoji#5. but in all seriousness it doesnt seem like hes enjoying writing jjk thattt much because of all the massive changes made to it#so i respect his decision to move on from it. go make your sukuna idol manga gege lmao#however. please dont make the ending flop đ. good luck gege#unrelated but dokuzu goes hard#also almost put wutiwant for third but im not notorious for listening to emo slowed down edit music lmao#wanted to do junpei dokuzu animation...but geto works too#(me in my head. lying. lets be so real im never animating anything lmao)#anyway. thats. too much tag rambling lmaoooooo#away i go.
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THE LOVE PROGNOSIS, pt. 1 â JJK (m.)
for as long as you can remember, youâve always been a hopeless romantic.
the girl whoâs always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesnât come grand â itâs simple and itâs quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that youâve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.
PAIRING jungkook x female reader // mingyu x female reader
GENRE r18+ (angst, fluff, smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
CHAPTER WORD COUNT 20k đ
CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC medical!au, roommates!au, surgeon!jk, surgeon!reader (they are both 4th year residents and are co-workers), corporate lawyer!mingyu, oc and jk are bffs since med school but their love language is fighting each other <3, jk and mingyu are bffs during undergrad, jk sluts it out quite oftenđ, hopeless romantic!oc, countless mentions of weddings and engagements, angsty undertones, itâs the⊠yearning? 97liners assemble lmao, the surgeons gang: jk, oc, nayeon, doyeon, taehyung <3, explicit sexual content [dry h*mping, making out, c*nnilingus], alcohol consumption, arguments đ€, i personally have only acquired a degree on Bingewatching Greyâs Anatomy so my medical knowledge is.. you see.. greys anatomy đ BUT! i did a lot of research for this pls dont crucify me đđŒ belated happy birthday jaykay, my forever museâ€ïžâ€ïž
NOTES hello awrkive nation!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry this got delayed!! gave up on trying to make this a one shot cos it stretched out into 50k words IM SORRY! anyways check out my trello page for updates on my writing progress đ©· make sure to comment down ur thoughts and like and reblog to circulate hehe !! asks are deeply appreciated!! scream your takes!! let me know what you think!! also made a spotify playlist for this mini-series soooo if u wanna listen to the songs that i think embody this fic, i've linked it below đ«¶đŒ
[ TLP MOODBOARD ] // [ SPOTIFY PLAYLIST ]
SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST
For as long as you can remember, youâve always been a hopeless romantic.
The girl whoâs always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations and a cute little beach wedding to boot. Youâre the kind of girl who thought her high school jock boyfriend would make good on his promise of keeping contact until college. That girl who thought the guy she met at nineteen at some sleazy frat party wanted more than just sex. The girl who thought that her boyfriend at twenty-one would finally be The One after introducing her to his parents on New Yearâs Eve. Youâre exactly the kind of girl who thought that it was smart to get a boyfriend in her first year of med school and get proposed to in fourth year.
Reality pretty much hit you hard with a big slap on the face; because you soon found out that your love interest doesnât suddenly come into your life while you clock in your shift at a coffee shop, and there is no such thing as grand love declarations â no one wanted to profess their love to somebody at airports anymore, or even in the pouring rain, for godâd sake! And there is never going to be a beach wedding when thereâs no one to do it with in the first place.
Because even if you do everything right, men just always somehow manage to do you wrong.
Your first boyfriend, Changsub, just suddenly ghosted you after you moved to a different town for college. When you saw him again for winter break, he was dating the girl from his History class â the blondie who was always the cause of your heated arguments in the lockers because youâve always been jealous of her. Needless to say, you never talked to him again, and Changsub never bothered to reach out either.
At nineteen, you met Soohyun at a frat party your roommate invited you to. He was part of your collegeâs football team â the regular famous jock, and you felt a little bit special when he showed you a little bit of attention. When he chased you for a while, you caved in and had sex for the first time. You soon realized that was his thing â âpopping them girlsâ cherriesâ â as what youâve overheard from his equally asshole teammates when you made an impromptu visit at their sweaty, stinky locker rooms â and that he apparently had a thing for girls in the cheerleading team (you were a part of it for awhile). Soohyun just told you it wasnât working anymore. He was out and about with another girl three days later.
You swore at twenty-one, you were smarter. Heck, you got your heart broken two times already by then by the same brand of asshole with two different names and faces! You mustâve been a bit wiser, no?
But in your defense, Jaehyun was totally different from Changsub and Soohyun. He wasnât an athlete. He was low-key⊠an introvert, and a total nerd. A film major guy who was so good at getting you through his art. He told you you were his muse, and you believed it wholeheartedly for the almost three years youâve dated, most especially when he brought you to his hometown that one New Yearâs Eve and introduced you to his family on your first anniversary.
You donât exactly know what happened then⊠he just ran cold. Backed out of your plans of moving in together. Suddenly got so busy with his gigs when he normally would make time. Until the elephant in the room was acknowledged and it was just over before you knew it.
That relationship was your first âI love youâ, Jaehyun said it was the same for him.
Fast forward, he gets married two years into the break-up, which is six years ago from the present. He has three kids now, two lovely girl twins and one boy. You didnât go to the wedding, just sent him a post-it card that said youâre happy for him.
Which is true. He was your first love, but the heartbreak didnât last long like you thought it would.
Because lastly, there was Eunwoo. The guy you met during the construction of the condominium near the apartment where you were staying at for med school.
Cha Eunwoo was an intern architect around that time, a nice one at that that it didnât really take long for you guys to hit it off. Too many encounters on the street made you think that maybe it wasnât just a coincidence anymore that he was there whenever you walked passed by. You really thought it would be difficult for you to love somebody again like how you loved Jaehyun⊠but Eunwoo made it easy. He did everything right. From the cute encounter, a grand love declaration in your fourth year together wherein he proposed to you in a romantic cruise ship dinner, down to the beach wedding he promised you during that night.
What was supposed to be a three-month engagement lasted longer than you both wanted, though. And it was mostly due to you because you told him you couldnât marry yet. Not until you pass your licensure exam. Unintentionally, it stretched into a year. Eunwoo blamed it on your internship, said you were too busy that you couldnât really give him time anymore.
You still remember that argument so vividly inside your head. When you said you told him already that it was life for you in residency. He rebutted with the sentiment that if you wanted to, you would. But you knew it was unfair of him to say that â not when he was also volunteering himself for the mountain of projects at his firm just so he could impress the senior architects there. Eventually, the engagement was called off. You two broke up. You both settled that it was the schedule conflict⊠you were just both so busy with your careers. Such big ambitions. So much to prove, passionate to a fault.
But two years ago, Eunwoo got married, and his wife is a general physician. The last time you two accidentally bumped into each other at a cafĂ© downtown, he said he was âso happy and contentedâ that he felt like ïżœïżœtaking a sabbatical to focus on being a husbandâ.
You guessed then he doesnât actually mind dating doctors. Doesnât mind making sacrifices for them. He just minds specifically you.
Your long, tragic dating history should already stop you by now from believing in love altogether. You mean, it just never works out for you, do they? The universe gives you a taste of what itâs like to embark on that journey, but it never takes you to the final destination.
But what can you say⊠love is just so special to you; romance, falling in love⊠they hold a significant place in your heart that you canât help but bet on it every time it comes. You just have so much love to give â but unfortunately no one to give it to, because the men you date always donât want you in the end of it all.
It bubbles up frustration in you, especially when you see all your exes getting fucking married left and right and them having the audacity to send you an invitation â and even thank you for what youâve helped made them become. Eunwoo made that lame ass speech in the cafĂ©. Itâs such a subtle physical act of slapping you right on the bone of your cheeks and violently hurts you psychologically.
Youâre frustrated that marriage seem to come easy for them, but never for you.
Itâs why you unintentionally spat water out of your mouth when one of your co-residents, close friend, Nayeon, announced:
âMinhyuk proposed!â
Naturally, your other friends at the cafeteria attend to your spluttering, with Doyeon patting your back and asking, âGirl, are you okay?â
You shake your head repeatedly at them, tapping your chest to regulate your breathing, putting on a tight smile before turning to Nayeon.
âIâm sorryâ what? Minhyuk proposed?â You ask her, and you donât intend it to sound incredulous.
Nayeon, thank god, doesnât notice it. And you realize itâs because sheâs in a lovesick haze to care about anything else.
âYep!â She almost squeals. âYou guys are all invited to the engagement party next week on Friday.â She giggles when Doyeon pokes her side, lightheartedly teasing her about the wedding.
âOh my god, Iâm so happy for you!â You say, grinning widely, but your jaw hurts from the way you forced it. You look at each one of them; Nayeon, Doyeon, and Taehyung. âYou guys are soon gonna be⊠married.â
Taehyung turns to Doyeon, taking a bite of his sandwich. âDoyeonâs still single, though.â
Doyeon throws a napkin at him. âItâs because your kind are bums. Anyway, Taehyung is also still not married.â
Taehyung pauses. Then, he purses his lips into a thin line, raising his eyebrows, nodding slowly.
âWell⊠about thatâŠâ
âHeâs planning to propose to Hyerin!â Nayeon exclaims and quickly covers her mouth when some of the doctors in the cafeteria turned their heads to look in your direction. She shrinks herself small, as if realizing what sheâs done, and then her eyes widen when she sees your guys reaction. âOh fuck, Iâm so sorry, Taehyung!â Nayeon quickly apologizes to him who looks like heaven and earth fell on him. She scrambles to say, âItâs just that I saw the ring in his locker today and so of course I have to ask and you guys met Hyerin, sheâs an amazing woman and Iâm so excited for her and Taehyung and she are a good couple aaand⊠Iâm shutting my mouth.â She stops, closing an imaginary zipper over her lips when she notices the death glare Taehyungâs sending her way.
He turns to look at the rest of you.
âWell⊠you heard it from her.â
âOh my god, Tae! This is insane!â Doyeon tells him. âWhen are you proposing?â
Taehyung shakes his head and rubs his nape. âI donât know⊠she has this, uh, case that sheâs confident on winning this Thursday. Maybe Iâm going to do it when she gets home that dayâŠâ he trails off, and Nayeon coos at him when she sees his ears turning red. Doyeon throws back the napkin Taehyung threw at him, and she receives a juvenile pinch on the arm from Taehyung back.
You laugh along with them.
But deep inside, youâre finding it hard to process all the information that you learned today. You were just letting out words when you said that they were all going to be married, an exaggeration at best, because Nayeon is apparently now a fiancĂ©, Taehyung has been in a long-term relationship with his prosecutor girlfriend that itâs easy to assume their next step is tying it down, and Doyeon is single but you refuse to believe thatâs the case. Itâs a wild theory that your friends have but you all feel like she has a secret boyrfriend or something.
Apparently, though, youâre not exaggerating at all. Because Taehyung is indeed planning to tie it down.
âIt seems like everybody is getting married these days, no?â Doyeon mentions. She looks at you and you feel your heart beating abnormally for some reason. âWhat about you, __? How did that blind date last week go?â
Sheâs talking about the guy whom your cousin set you up with a few months back and have only gotten around to meet a week ago, Park Hyungshik.
They all seem to eagerly wait for your answer, and you can only meekly shake your head, sipping on a juice box so your jittering fingers can have something to do.
âIt was okay.â
You can see the way their shoulders deflate, and you know you donât need to explain the details for them to know how bad the date actually went.
âFuck men.â Doyeon sighs.
âI agree.â Taehyung affirms, followed by Nayeon.
It earns a laugh from you.
âFuck off, you guys.â You say, rolling your eyes, knowing theyâre blindly judging Hyungshik in unconditional support for you. The joke is appreciated though, as it makes you light up and forget about the sudden grey that washes over your insides at the terrifying thought that maybe youâre never going to be married at this rate.
âYouâre laughing right now but Iâm still scared that youâll just put up an IG story of you and Jungkook getting married on a random Sunday.â Nayeon suddenly says which elicits quite a violent reaction from you.
âFucking gross, Nayeon!â You slap her on her arm and she gives you an ingenuine, âOwe!â
Taehyung laughs and adds in another nonsensical input, âThatâs where my grandma and grandpa started, by the way. The line between love and hate is thin, after all.â
Your face contorts into a deeper frown every passing second as they continue to tease you.
âFuck you, Taehyung. Iâll kill you in your sleep and me and Doyeon will hide the body.â You threaten him with your eyes and when he only laughs more, you make quick work of your hands and snatch out his egg omelet, putting it in your mouth fast enough he doesnât get the chance to take it back.
âAw, man! Hyerin cooked that for me!â He whines, going back to his seat, defeated after trying to get back the food from you.
But Nayeon is more concerned about another thing.
âWhy is it only you and Doyeon? I can help hide Taehyungâs body, too!â She says, face painted with an expression so solemn as if you betrayed her.
âYou made the joke first, you donât get the privilege.â You cross your arms under your chest.
âIâll commit perjury for you in court. Doyeon canât do that âcos she still hasnât told us about her secret boyfriend.â She insists.
Taehyung deadpans. âYou guys really do love me a lot here, no?â
âWe never pretended to love you, Taehyung,â Doyeon taps his arm, giving him a contrasting look of faux sympathy. âAnd for the nth time, I do not have a secret boyfriend,â She says dryly, sounding exhausted for having to say it again. And then, she turns to you, âWhere is that punk, Jungkook, anyway?â
You scowl at her. âSeriously guys, why do you always look for him from me?â
âItâs just that you always know where he is, babe.â Nayeon says as a matter of fact. âNo offense.â She says, looking straight into your eyes. When she sees your eyebrow raising higher, she adds quickly, âAnd malice!â And then she continues some more, âEven though I personally think youâd be cute together and all but we understand perfectly you both just have this sort of weird relationship where youâre platonic roommates and youâre like best friends but you argue all the time for no reasonââ
âOh my god, shut up, Nayeon.â Doyeon cuts her off before she goes on a spiral again.
âSee why itâs only me and Doyeon who gets to hide Taehyungâs body when I kill him? Youâre gonna tell the police word for word how exactly I did it.â You tell her, and she pouts at you.
âAnd weâre back to killing me again.â Taehyung comments, sighing, and you stick your tongue out at him in that juvenile manner, only that Taehyung does the same because heâs an even bigger child than you.
âKids, stop fighting.â Doyeon warns. âSeriously, where is Jungkook?â
âHe told me he has a laparoscopic cholecystectomy.â You say.
âDamn.â Comments Taehyung.
Everybody including you nod in understanding.
Itâs always been an inside joke in your friend group that Jungkook and you are gonna end up marrying each other because youâve known each other for a long time, the closest to each other, live together â and you both are also the ones that canât keep a relationship.
After your breakup with Eunwoo in the middle of your internship which was four years ago, you took a break from dating for a very long time. Itâs only two years ago that you picked up going on casual dates, having quick flings, all that sort of stuff. Itâs an occasional thing and they never end up as something more.
Itâs why youâre still single up until now, and itâs not even that you want to be so â you prefer to be in a happy, loving relationship, thank you very much â but you yearn for a deeper connection with someone, and every date just doesnât seem to click. And even though you find a little ugly bitterness when somebody brings up marriage, you would never, ever want to settle down with somebody just âcause you feel like you have to.
Meanwhile, Jungkook is a special case. Heâs single because he wants to be. Heâs single because according to him, the bachelor life has âchosenâ him and he canât do anything about it.
Itâs why he goes to this myriads of dates⊠with those⊠women. Sleeps around. Never attempted a serious relationship as far as youâve known him except that one time in your last year of med school when he exclusively dated Min Sora for about a year.
You donât judge him for the kind of life he lives. Heâs just an admittedly good-looking, liberated guy who hooks up with good-looking women who are looking for the same fun as him. When you asked him if they ever do fall, he told you that they always agree prior sex that itâs just going be a one-time thing (two or three or four times if they particularly like each other⊠or whatever the hell he said).
Despite that, Jungkook is â and always has been your best friend. You met each other in med school and were in the same study group together with Doyeon and Taehyung.
As much as heartbreak is a constant in your life, Jungkook is a frontrunner in it as well because from being in almost all the same classes during med school for four years, you both decided to live in the same apartment unit together.
It has two different bedrooms, of course. The apartmentâs a big unit he and Taehyung owned three years ago until Taehyung moved in with his girlfriend. Jungkook couldnât pay for it all by himself, and the only logical roommate choice was you because when he proposed it to Doyeon, she just looked at him disgusted beyond belief.
Youâve been with each other for so long itâs quite impossible to not know the other like the back of their hand. Youâve seen him during his worst in med school days up until the years of your residency as does him you. You both shared the highs and lows of life with the otherâs presence, and as much as you both quite differ in the way you approach certain things in life â heâs ultimately your person, the one-call-away friend (or the one-knock-to-the-door-friend), and the guy you can always lean on when things are just particularly hard to bear.
Jungkook may not be the most ideal when it comes to romance, but heâs the guy youâd certainly wish was your friend.
Why you donât understand when the rest of your friends tease you both is because youâre so⊠platonic with each other. Sure, youâre closest â you knew each other first â but you and Jungkook never acted borderline sweet for other people to be making assumptions. You arenât the kind of friends who call each other siblings but then get weirdly clingy towards each other behind everyoneâs backs.
You may have had a tiny bit of crush on him when you first saw him during first year of med school â itâs a common fact that heâs handsome and whatever, okay â but he had never shown interest; from post grad all throughout the years of your shared residency. You never, either.
But maybe itâs the teasing, since you always fight like goddamn children whenever youâre near each other. Thereâs nothing romantic about it, though, you donât think so. In your defense, thatâs how your dynamic works! Thatâs how your friendship with everybody works! If you didnât banter with a person, you probably hate them.
Shaking the thoughts of Jungkook in your head, you continue to eat your lunch, asking questions about Nayeonâs further plans, squeezing your break with the rest of your friends, knowing your pager is going to beep anytime soon.
What Doyeon said, though, everybody does seem to be getting married these days. If you could sigh, you would, but you have to do with a little bit of internal mulling for now lest one of the gang notices and you get interrogated for it. You donât want to get aired out for feeling suddenly weird at the tough realization that again, everybody seems to be getting married and proposed to except⊠you.
Youâre happy for them â you really are! Youâd be such a shit friend if you werenât. But thereâs a pang in your chest and you know exactly where itâs coming from.
There was an added case to the OR schedule when you checked it earlier this morning, and you were assigned to it as per instruction from the chief of your team â a melanoma excision.
After your lunch, you went to scrub in for the surgery and it was what made you busy including the paper works needed to be done, so busy that you thought youâd forgotten the pain from a while ago.
Turns out, it sat at some bench at the far end of your heart, hiding and shrinking itself for a little while, only showing up when itâs time for you to clock out; in the quiet of the locker room, alone while you change out of your scrubs.
You let out a heavy sigh and lean your forehead to your locker door, closing your eyes and getting your breathing even.
Youâre just tired from work. You tell yourself. You had two surgeries today; it would be true. But you know itâs not entirely that. Itâs the reminder of your loneliness when you see an envelope peeking out from your locker.
You take out the invitation card for Nayeonâs engagement party sheâs given you this afternoon. Itâs a thick off-white material that has her and her fiancĂ©âs name printed on gold beveled font. So intricate to the touch; you deduce once you run your fingers over it.
âYo, what are you up to?â
You quickly stand up straight and hide the envelope behind your back, your other hand going right above your chest when you turn around only to see Jeon Jungkook approaching the inside of the room.
âJesus christ, learn to knock.â You say, genuinely surprised and taken aback. Jungkook cocks a brow at you.
âFeisty.â He muses, and the way his eyes fall to your chest makes you realize youâre still in your bra having not put yourself into a clean and fresh top yet since you decided to have a sentimental moment in your locker door like some high school girl.
âAsshole.â You mutter under your breath, making quick work of putting on a shirt.
Only when youâre done wearing it do you see Jungkook stripping out of his own scrubs until heâs left with only his boxers across from you.
âSome decorum, please?â You tell him, turning around to sit on a bench to change out of your sneakers and wearing a more comfortable pair of sandals.
You hear Jungkook laugh behind you.
âWhat can I say? Iâm a bit of an exhibitionist, you see.â You take a quick look at him so he can see how far your eyes roll to the back of your head. Jungkook ignores that, wearing his shirt while he says, âYouâre out the same time tonight?â
You take out your ponytail and comb your hair through your fingers to fix it.
âYeah. You?â
Jungkook smirks and suddenly thereâs something flying at your direction. Youâre quick on your reflex and manage to catch it on time, only to realize itâs his keys.
âYouâre driving.â
It earns an instant groan from you.
Jungkook puts on another pair of shoes while laughing. âWhat? I drove us here this morning.â
Youâre about to give him an attitude but then you realize making him pity you may be more effective. Stepping closer to him, you sit on the bench where he placed his foot to tie his shoes on. You look up at him and try your puppy face on.
âBut I had two surgeries today, Kook.â
Jungkook stares at you, his expression unreadable. A few seconds pass by, with you blink up at him, and you think heâs gonna cave.
Instead of getting swayed by your poor attempt to get his sympathy, he takes down his leg and says with a sarcastic smile on his face, âI did a major one. Yours were both minor.â
Your shoulders deflate, making sure to jab at his thigh that was at eye level and snark, âAnd two is more than one. Fuck off, Jeon.â
Jungkook follows behind you while his boisterous ass is laughing.
âDonât get pissed at me, are you kidding? Itâs your turn to drive. Favor for a favor.â
You turn back to him, and because you were walking in a faster pace, he crashes to your back. He grips your shoulder, pursing his lips into a thin line, obviously holding in another fit of laughter.
âYouâre gonna drive us tomorrow here, do you understand?â You say, giving him an ominous glare.
Jungkook raises his hands up. âOkay, okay.â He nods his head, and to piss you off more, he adds, âBossy.â
That earns him a pinch to the side which he quickly dodges. Rolling your eyes, you shake your head and continue to head towards the exit.
You both enter his car soon after.
âI miss my carâŠâ you longingly say, turning on the ignition to start driving.
âItâs still in the shop?â Jungkook asks while rummaging around his compartment glove to look for a snack. He always has a few in it. Itâs convenient.
âYeah, the mechanic told me itâs gonna take a few more weeks. So,â you look at him bitterly.
âThatâs tough.â Jungkook comments, opening a granola bar and biting on it. He extends his hand to you. âYou want some?â
You stretch your neck to the side, eyes still on the road while taking a bite off his food.
âTough because you canât bring your girls here anymore?â You joke a little. Jungkook gives you a dirty look. Your eyes widen a little, realizing what you just said. âPlease say you donât fuck in your car. Iâve touched your passenger seat and your backseat.â
âGive me more credit, yeah? I donât fuck in my car, that shit is unhygienic as hell,â Jungkook rolls his eyes, and you heave a sigh of relief upon his confirmation. âI wine and dine my women before we do the deed, thank you very much.â
âYouâre just so sweet, arenât you?â You say with a straight face.
Jungkook sing-songs. âJust like how they like it.â
âYouâre really beating them off with a stick these past few years, huh?â
âA gorgeous stick, might I add.â
That earns a disgusted groan from you, which he laughs at, and you drop the subject before it even goes to another place.
Thereâs a comfortable silence that sits on the air for a while until Jungkook speaks.
âHey, what was that earlier?â
âHm?â
âIn the locker room.â He says.
You shift uncomfortably in your seat. Clearing your throat, you answer, âOh, itâs just, uh⊠Nayeonâs getting married. Do you know that?â
âYeah.â
You turn to him in surprise. âWait, how? You didnât eat lunch with us.â
Jungkook snorts. âI saw the invitation cards in her locker yesterday, she thought she was being discreet. She threatened me to keep it a secret when I asked her about it, though. I guess she told you guys today at lunch?â
âOh my god, you really need to stop snooping in everybodyâs locker.â
âI do not snoop in in everybodyâs locker.â
You give him a certain look. Jungkook rolls his eyes. âDonât change the subject.â
Letting out a heavy breath, you look straight ahead as you say, âI donât know. I wasnât doing anythingâŠâ
âJust getting a little sentimental in the locker room?â
âA bit.â You purse your lips. âBut itâs not a big deal.â
Jungkook doesnât say anything to that. From your peripheral vision, you can see him staring at you but you choose to ignore that, focusing on driving instead.
âIf you say so.â He says after a while.
Youâre thankful for the dismissal. Jungkookâs usually insistent that you tell him everything â heâs just nosy like that â but deep down you know itâs because he cares. And if youâre in any trouble, heâs always willing to be there for you may it be listening to you vent or eat unholy amount of Chinese take out in the middle of the night.
As you went on the road, he played a few of his playlists and they served as background noise as you both talked about your day, like how your surgeries went. Itâs a usual drive when youâre both in the same car together â which youâve done quite a few times now because after all, you work in the same building and gas is expensive. Itâs the most logical way to save up in this economy.
These past few weeks, though, it just so happened that your car got a little bitchy and started to act up so you made a bargain with Jungkook.
Anyway, you both arrive at your apartment shortly, with Jungkook and you taking turns in the shower.
âYou wanna order in something?â Says Jungkook whoâs currently drying his hair, a towel wrapped around his lower half.
He wasnât kidding when he said heâs some kind of exhibitionist. Jungkook has the habit of walking around the apartment shirtless and sometimes with just even his boxers on, and itâs not like you arenât used to seeing it! You admittedly see a lot of it when you guys would change in the locker rooms back at the hospital, but that is work, and you have more things to worry about at work other than your co-worker changing in front of you.
Still, itâs hard to get used to his exhibitionist tendencies. You had a hard time with it especially in the first few months of living together, but you had to adapt, and right now, even though you can say youâre partly immune to it, his naked upper half still bothers you. A little.
Listen, youâre a human being with primal instincts and men who have good bodies do, in fact, distract you a tiny bit.
âNope.â You take a sip of the glass of water, closing the refrigerator with your foot, looking at Jungkook who groans at your answer. âWhat?â
âI was hoping we could split the delivery fee.â He deadpans.
âWow. And they say chivalry is dead.â
Jungkook laughs while you head towards your room. He follows you until you reach your door so you turn to him, putting your hand on your hip as you ask, âWhat?â
âDonât think too much about it.â
Your furrow your brows. âHow do you mean?â
âThe wedding,â Jungkook says with a soft smile. âAnd weddings, in general. I know youâre thinking about a few things up in that smart brain of yours. Donât.â
Youâre completely taken aback by his words, but at the same time, youâre not at all that surprised. Jungkook can read you almost like an open book.
Still, you decide to lie.
âIâm not thinking about weddings, weirdo.â
âLiar,â Jungkookâs brow arches, and you know heâs figured out your shit. âYour nostrils flared up. Youâre lying.â
You groan, giving him a light jab at his bicep. Jungkook chuckles.
âMy nostrils do not flare up.â
âIt does so,â Jungkook points out. âLike this.â He stands there on your door and start to purposefully enlarge his nostrils to imitate you.
You roll your eyes. âMy face is not like that when I lie. Go back to your room,â you say, pushing him slightly out of your doorway, ready to close it in front of his face, but you add more, âAnd donât bother me.â
Jungkook stands up straight and gives you a salute. âYes, maâam.â he says in a register octave lower, walking away with laughter as you tell him heâs annoying. You roll your eyes once again before finally closing your bedroom door.
A lot of people may judge your love for romance as naivety, but you really couldnât care less. Even if you get heart broken countless times, love will never fail to make your heart soft and make you feel like youâre floating.
Itâs exactly what you think as you look at Nayeon and her fiance, Minhyuk, on the stage huddled so close together, laughing and giggling to each other. They look so incredibly happy. So connected. So sweet. It brings a feeling of warmth to your heart â to see one of the most important people in your life finally meeting the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with. It makes you melt on the inside to see two people so deeply in love that it emanates in the whole venue of the garden their engagement party is being held at today.
The weather is sunny â not too hot, like the universe knows not to fuck it up for Nayeon and her fiance. Thereâs also a lot of people; their families, some of Nayeonâs friends and probably Minhyukâs â people youâve never seen before. You assume itâs Minhyukâs friends or acquaintances. The guest list for their wedding must be big, but it isnât surprising, given that Minhyuk comes from the big corporate world.
âYou want more champagne?â Jungkook whispers beside you, ready to stand up from his seat.
You stare at him, and you notice his eyes are not even on yours. He has it glued towards a woman across from you. A pretty woman wearing a satin dress that shows off her slender figure. You notice Jungkookâs been looking at her since the beginning of the party.
Shaking your head, you scoff. âYouâre just gonna pick up some woman.â
Jungkook sputters and quickly take his gaze off the woman. âNo, Iâm not. I just think sheâs familiar.â
You raise your brow. âLet me guess⊠one of your hook-ups?â
Jungkook huffs. And then off he goes.
Everybody has their plus-ones except you two, and now that Jungkook is probably off his mission to find a hook-up for the night, youâre left alone as usual.
You donât feel bad about it. The champagne is good and thereâs hors d'oeuvre on the table.
âMiss?â
You look up, finding the owner of the voice.
And holy hell.
âHi.â You greet reluctantly, not sure if he meant you. Youâre also trying to contain a blush from spreading across your cheeks because goddamn, was the man beautiful.
He smiles. Wow. Whoever this is⊠he looks pretty damn good.
âIs this seat taken?â The stranger says, pointing to the now empty seat beside you. You look around but canât really spot Jungkook.
So, you shake your head, gesturing to the chair beside you. âNo, not really. You want to sit here?â
He nods. âAlone?â
âNo, not really⊠but Iâm Nayeonâs friend. Iâm her co-resident at the hospital.â You smile, taking a sip of your champagne thatâs already about to run out. âAre you one of Minhyukâs friends?â
âYou guessed right. Law school friends. Worked at the same firm when he was a practicing lawyer until he quit some time ago,â You nod at that, and he gives you a boyish smile again. He offers his hand for a handshake. âIâm Mingyu, by the way. Kim Mingyu.â
You take his hand.
âIâm ___.â You both laugh when you shake your hands together.
His hands feel rough but at the same time warm. Itâs nice.
âYouâre a doctor?â Mingyu asks, keeping up the conversation.
âYeah. A resident surgeon.â You glance at him. âIâm assuming youâre a lawyer?â
Mingyu nods. âYeah. Corporate.â
âI see.â You nod, looking in front of you again, trying to stray from any eye contact. Heâs way too attractive for your own liking.
âSay⊠I hate to make this about work but I just need to ask real quick,â Mingyu says, and when you look at him, you furrow your brows at the worry in his eyes, suddenly growing nervous at the depth of seriousness itâs showing. âSo, I got here, and I suddenly have this sort of⊠feeling of heart palpitation. Increased heart rate. Itâs like itâs missing a beat and itâs been making me real nervous.â
âOh,â you look at him in concern. âThatâsâ did you drink uh⊠coffee?â He shakes his head. You place your champagne glass on the table and turn your body to him so you can face him properly. You donât know if itâs just the doctor in you, but you forget about pretty much everything when you see or hear someone feeling under normal. âAre you a smoker, then?â You continue your line of questioning.
âI quit years ago.â
âI see⊠okay, uhmâŠâ You look around, trying to look for something. âThereâs a lot of roots for heart palpitations. Does your heart feel like pounding right now? Flip-flopping or something like that?â
Mingyu nods.
âOkay⊠well I canât say for sure â I wish I have stethoscope with me right now. But Iâm gonna lay out all the possible reasons why you might be feeling so. Smokingâs out of the question. You didnât drink coffee, but do you drink more than one cup in a day?â
âNot in the past few weeks, no.â
âSo, youâre not overcaffeinated, then. I really donât want to lay this out on you, but you might want to check in with your doctor if this is not your first time feeling this. Heart palpitations is normal most of the time but Iâve seen lots of people get in these situations and it ends up being arrhythmia, which is a really serious condition.â You look at him straight in the eyes.
Mingyu looks stricken back. âWell⊠are there any more reasons out there thatâs not⊠as dangerous?â
You still in your position.
Oh, right. There is more.
âAre you feeling certain emotions right now? Like, really, strong emotion?â You say, internally face-palming yourself because how can you not remember one of the very basic roots of palpitation!
âYes, I am.â
âWell⊠certain emotions do trigger your heartbeat to accelerate. It might be anxiety⊠fear, panic, stressâŠâ You look at Mingyu, noticing that his once serious face is now forming a smile. That makes you back-track, but you hesitantly continue. â... infatuation.â
And then he says, âI think youâre right off the bat with that one.â
Your lips part slightly. A few seconds passed and then suddenly, what heâs doing registers in your head, and you canât help but to let out a laugh.
âOh my god,â You say in disbelief. âYou werenâtâ you werenât actually asking for medical advice?â
âBad way to flirt with a pretty woman, huh?â Mingyu smiles and itâs so dashing that you shy away from his gaze, but youâre still laughing at the turn of events.
âGod, no. I canât believe I didnât get it earlier.â You say, gingerly placing a palm on your forehead at the embarrassment.
But Mingyu just laughs along with you.
âIt was just bad flirting. Iâm sorry,â He says, sipping from his glass and takes a glance at you. âI can do better.â
You arch your brow. âOh?â
âYeah. If you let me. Say, Friday, ten oâclock?â
You chuckle. âThat was really smooth.â
Mingyu was about to say something when suddenly, you hear a familiar voice approaching your direction.
âMingyu?â When you look up, you see Jungkook. You eye him in confusion, wondering how the hell he knew Mingyuâs name.
But then Mingyu speaks and you grow even more confused.
âJeon Jungkook?â
âOh hey, itâs you,â Jungkook says, and he looks genuinely surprised. Mingyu stands up from his seat to give Jungkook a hug, slapping him on the back â kind of like how guys usually greet each other. You watch as Jungkook reluctantly reciprocates it.
âYou work with Nayeon?â Mingyu asks, and even with a smile on his face, you can see heâs also in disbelief to be seeing Jungkook.
Jungkook nods at him, still looking a bit stricken. You canât figure out if itâs just his surprised face or something else. Youâve never seen him look so⊠stunned like this before. Nevertheless, he says, âYeah. How âbout you?â
âBeen with Lee and Song for the past three years, Minhyukâs previous firm before he quit and went out to the business world.â Mingyu chuckles, tapping Jungkookâs back.
Jungkook smiles. âThatâs crazy, man. I canât believe weâll meet here again.â
Mingyu, seemingly sharing the same sentiment, says, âMan, itâs been, like, whatâ almost ten years?â
âYeah, yeah, too long, man.â Jungkook nods, chuckling slightly.
You hate to interrupt, but youâre confused, and you need to confirm something.
âWait,â You butt in, making them both look at you. âYou know each other?â
Jungkook sits across from you while Mingyu follows.
âWe did pre-med together during undergrad.â Mingyu says.
âYou did pre-med in undergrad?â You look at Mingyu incredulously, and he nods with a bashful smile on his face. You squint your eyes at him, feeling slightly betrayed that he asked you all that stuff earlier when the whole while he has a pre-med degree.
Jungkook cuts in.
âHow the hell do you two know each other?â He said, leaning back and pointing between you two. It seems like heâs finally out of the trance he was in earlier.
âI just met him today.â You tell Jungkook, blinking your eyes at him.
âWell, how about you two? How do you know each other?â Mingyu asks and the whole thing suddenly feels like watching a game of tennis somehow.
Youâre about to answer when Jungkook beats you to it.
âWeâre co-workers. Together with Nayeon.â
Mingyu nods his head and then turns to you, âSo not his girlfriend, then?â
âWhat? No!â you didnât mean for it to come out that violently, so you repeat it in a gentler manner this time. âI mean no. What?â
Mingyu turns to Jungkook whoâs now looking confused.
âI was just asking her out for a date.â
You suddenly feel blood rushing to your cheeks at his straightforwardness. In front of Jungkook, out of all people! You arenât embarrassed! You just feel weird and shy.
But Jungkook looks at you as if silently asking you if Mingyuâs being serious. You tuck your bottom lip under your teeth.
Then he nods his head slowly. âReally?â Jungkook chuckles, looking at you. âWhatâd you say?â
Mingyu looks at you with a hopeful smile. âWhat do you say?â
You feel weird about doing the whole thing in front of someone, but you look at Mingyu again â how attractive he is, his charming smile, his physique, and his charisma⊠and you donât think itâd be too bad to chance at least one date with him.
So, you nod, avoiding Jungkookâs sudden way too intense gaze.
âI would like to,â But he cocks his head to the side. You chuckle, adding, âYes, Mingyu. Iâd like to go out with you.â
âWoah!â
âJungkook, please knock!â
You look at Jungkook irritably while you lock your stud earring, standing up from your chair in front of the vanity table to pick up your purse from the edge of your bed.
âI was just going to borrow your hair dryer.â Jungkook says, trudging inside your room freely which makes you roll your eyes at him.
You watch as he expertly makes his way to your vanity table and slides one of the drawers, taking out the hair dryer.
âYou need to buy your own one.â You say with a straight face.
But Jungkook just stands there for a while, and when his stare goes on longer than necessary, you start feeling conscious.
âWhat.â
âWhat are you so⊠dolled up for?â
You jab him on the chest when you get near him, enough to make him wince. âWhat an asshole way to say I look good.â
Jungkook laughs. Your heart drops.
Most of the time, you understand that your dynamic consists of teasing and bantering with each other until one of you gets pissed off. Thatâs usually you. But they never go too far â youâve built a foundation of respect in your relationship which you love. However, sometimes, there are moments when youâre under a certain kind of pressure â like right now in which you only have twenty minutes before Mingyu arrives to pick you up outside of your building complex and you still havenât done your hair â and Jungkook laughing while looking at you is not helping.
The faux confidence falls as fast as that.
âOkay, Jungkook, can you just tell me nicely if this dress looks ridiculous or if I put too much make-up on?â You say, failing not to sound defensive.
Jungkookâs quick to halt his laughter, and he looks taken aback at your clipped tone.
âWhat? I didnât say anything.â
âYou were laughing at me.â You point out, turning around to rummage through your make-up products scattered on the top surface of the furniture, thinking that maybe you overblushed. So, you look at yourself in the mirror.
Jungkook situates himself on your vanity table so youâll look at him.
âWhaâ you thought I was laughing at you?â You donât answer, checking if your cheeks are way too pink, purposefully ignoring him. âOkay, thatâsâ I wasnât. Iâm sorry if you thought I was. I laughed at your words, not the way you look.â
You let out a sharp breath, look at him angrily, ready to present more argument, but you see the look of sincerity on his face and you realize then that youâre being borderline sensitive.
You sigh. âIâm sorry.â
âHey,â Jungkook places a gentle hand on your shoulder.
You pout at him. âItâs just⊠first date jitters. I feel slightly anxious, I donât know,â You sigh again, âI bought this dress two days ago.â You say, looking down at it. It has a tube top with thin straps, fitting your upper half like a glove but flows prettily to the bottom, stopping just about four inches above your knee.
âIt looks good on you.â Jungkook comments, and you quint your eyes at him.
âYou swear?â
Jungkook rolls his eyes. âWhy would I lie?â
âTo make me feel better, I donât know,â Then you canât help but chuckle. âAnyway, does my make-up look okay? I didnât put too much blush?â
âYou have lipstick on your teeth,â Jungkook says, baring his own to emphasize what he meant.
âShit.â You panic, quickly ducking down to check it in the mirror.
You soon realize Jungkook was fucking with you when you hear him laughing beside you.
âI hate you.â You hiss, pushing his thighs so he can get off your vanity table. He remains on his seat, fighting your force while laughing. âUgh, donât you have a date of your own or something?â You groan as you take the hair straightener on the side, sitting back down again on the chair to straighten a certain part of your hair again so itâs looks nothing but perfect.
âOhh, so you are going on a date.â Jungkook says as if he wasnât there in front of you when Mingyu asked you out.
You give him a weird look. âWith Mingyu, remember?â
âOh, right.â Heâs quiet for awhile, and then, âYouâre really dating him?â
You put down the hair straightener.
âYeah⊠why?â
Jungkook shakes his head. âNothing.â
But you want to insist. âHeâs your friend. You told me heâs a nice guy.â
He nods his head. âThatâs true.â
You eye him suspiciously. âYouâre making me nervous.â
Jungkook chuckles and pats your head. You scowl at him and slap his wrist.
âYouâre like a cat,â Jungkook comments. âAnyway, I told you, itâs nothing. Itâs justâŠâ He trails off. You look at him, waiting for his continuation.
You donât expect the genuine smile he sends your way.
âI wish it works out for you this time.â
Lips parted, you think about what to say to that, but nothing comes out of your mouth.
Jungkook gets off the table and brings with him your blow dryer. Before he heads out completely, he tells you, âAnd donât worry about how you look. Mingyu likes pretty women. Youâre exactly his type.â
âReally, mini-golf?â You ask Mingyu, but he already has his fingers intertwined with you as you both enter the course.
Youâve just had dinner at some fancy restaurant that served, admittedly, good steak. He told you it was some sort of special place for him; where he takes himself to whenever he closes a deal or wins a case. You tried not to think too much about what it meant that he brought you there â given that youâre only on your first date.
But hey, maybe he thought you deserve to eat good steak? Thatâs probably what it was.
You donât ask.
You thought the night was over when you finished your meal and good two glasses of Malbec, but Mingyu commented in his car that heâd love to burn off the food for a moment â and you didnât really want to leave just yet.
So, you end up at Pier 26, and Mingyuâs enthusiastic.
âCome on, itâll be fun.â He says, and you have no choice but to follow behind him.
âI really donât know how.â You tell him, smile bashful as you watch him carry the golf club, walking towards the direction of the ball.Â
âWhatâs up with that? Iâll teach you,â Mingyu says, putting down the club and unbuttoning his cuff to push his sleeves up to his forearms.
You try not to focus too much on the veins that show up at the action and how his biceps are almost fighting to pop out of his sleeves. His hands look so big compared to yours when he offers it to get you to stand beside him.
âReally? Youâre gonna teach me like a big⊠macho man?â You tease, taking his hand nonetheless.
Mingyu smiles once youâre beside him, placing himself behind you, guiding your hands so you can hold the club together.
You can feel his breath on your neck as he instructs you what to do. âYou just have to stand like this,â He lets go of your hands in favour of your hips, and your breath hitches when he whispers, âLook ahead, and you just⊠let go.â
The golf ball jumps out of the line and you giggle at the way it completely misses the hole.
âThat was⊠wow.â Mingyu says, staring at the ball.
âShut up! Okay, okay, Iâll try it alone.â You say, dismissing his incredulous look, a bit embarrassed at your performance.
From your periphery, you see Mingyu closely watching you as you grip the golf club a little less tight this time so itâs not too tense when you hit the ball. Squinting your eyes, you eye the goal and let out a controlled breath. You relax your posture just like he taught you and when you finally hit the ball, it lands right in the hole perfectly.
You turn to look at Mingyu immediately with widened eyes, and when he gives you a huge grin, you do a little jump out of excitement.
âOh my god, I did that!â
Mingyu chuckles at your enthusiasm. And due to the high of hitting the goal once, you agree to another round until it turns into a session.
You only stopped when you got tired. Nonetheless, you realize itâs actually something youâre good at, and that geeks you inside. Meanwhile, Mingyu suggested you walk around the park for a little while.
Mingyu told you he was just going to buy some food at a stall, but as you sit on the bench to wait for him, you think about how youâd like to go with Jungkook here some time to challenge him to mini-golf. You almost always never beat him to any games⊠surely, he must not know mini-golf, right? You can finally have the upper hand, if ever.
âIce cream?â Mingyu returns from the stall and extends the cone to you. You try not to show your wince. Youâre lactose intolerant.
âThanks.â You say, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. Itâs not that bad, and you want this date to be perfect. Mingyu joins you on the bench.
The nightâs cold and you regret not bringing your blazer with you and leaving it in his car instead.
âYou know,â you start to strike up a conversation. âIâm still pretty shocked you studied pre-med.â
Mingyu chuckles. âWhy?â
âI donât know⊠but in hindsight, I shouldâve known the moment you asked me about âheart palpitationsâ.â You say, quoting the last two words, trying to tease him.
âI really thought that was a good idea, huh?â
You snort. âIt wasââ you gesture with your hand, pursing your lips. âPretty lame, yeah. But admittedly⊠it was cute. So, there.â
Mingyu laughs. âThanks. I also thought that was a brilliant way to flirt with a doctor.â
You shake your head, laughing at him.
Silence sits in the air for a while until he speaks.
âYou know what they say? Study law when you donât know what to do after getting a degree, so law it was.â Mingyu shrugs.
âYou didnât see yourself as a doctor then?â You ask curiously.
âNot really. Didnât really think too much about it when I chose a pre-med program as my major. Soon realized it wasnât for me. I was lost in law school too for a good couple of years, though. But I love it now,â Mingyu looks at you whoâs intently listening. âYou? You always wanted to be a doctor?â
You look ahead, nodding. âFor as long as I can remember.â
âJust like Jungkook, huh?â Mingyu chuckles. âHe really wanted it a lot. I remember him excelling during those moving tests. He had a lot of people getting jealous over him for balancing his school and basketball lives so well, you know?â
You furrow your brows. âHe did basketball?â
âYeah. We were in the varsity team together.â
âHah.â You smile. Jungkook. A jock. âThat makes sense.â
âThat Iâm a jock?â Mingyu asks with a teasing smile on his face.
You didnât mean him, but regardless, you nod, finding that it also applies to him. âYou look like someone who plays basketball.â
âAnd whatâs the diagnosis of that, doctor?â Mingyu leans closer.
You nibble on your bottom lip.
âLetâs say you have a⊠chronic jock face.â You say, not backing down from Mingyuâs sudden challenge of eye contact.
âI donât know if thatâs a good thing. Is that a good thing?â
You chuckle. âIt just means that you are conventionally attractive.â
âAh,â he nods, but you notice his hand making its way around your waist. You donât make a move to protest it. âThen, can a conventionally attractive guy like me chance a kiss with a pretty girl like you?â
Your breath hitch when he leans his face closer. One more inch and his lips will lock against yours.
âYeah.â
Mingyu doesnât waste a second longer and leans in to plant his lips on yours. Itâs nothing short of a peck when he breaks away from the contact, but when you look up at him with parted lips, he goes back to kissing you again, cupping your cheek and angling your face towards him better, this time taking you closer by your waist.
It starts off as something experimental, like heâs testing the waters first. But when you take out your tongue to prod the side of his mouth, he does the same and inserts his tongue in yours.
You did not really think that youâd end up making out of some bench at a park, but here you are.
âOh,â you unintentionally let out a low moan, and you hear a guttural sound coming out from his throat. Your hands come up to fist his collar as some sort of support, and Mingyu responds with a slight pinch to your hip.
You break away from the kiss to regain your breathing, and Mingyu takes that as an opportunity to plant kisses across your cheek down to your jaw. Sighing at the sensation, you close your eyes as you let yourself get drowned in the feeling of his soft lips against your skin.
But when you open your eyes, you see people walking by at a short distance and thatâs when you wake up from your trance.
âMingyu,â You call him, but heâs too busy kissing your neck. âHey, I think we shouldnât do this here.â
Mingyu stops. Then, he looks at you, eyes hooded, hair a mess, his lips swollen, some of your lipstick getting on it.
Your blood flows to your cheek at the sight. He looks unbelievably hot. God, what more if he was under you and you were doing more than just kissing andâ no, no. Not going there. Absolutely no thoughts of ⊠there.
âFuck, Iâm sorry,â Mingyu says after seemingly snapping himself out of the trance as well. âShit. I really am.â
He looks so apologetic, so you put your hand over his arm.
âItâs fine. Just uh⊠letâs take it slow?â You tell him.
Mingyu gives you a small smile.
âSlow. Yeah. Letâs do it slow.â
What's the definition of slow, anyway?
The tension at the park was too much and you made out some more in his car with heavy petting that may have included Mingyu copping a feel of your boob and you coyishly feeling out the bulge in his pants.
Safe to say, you havenât been able to stop thinking about it since.
You started coming over to his place, but you still havenât had sex. Not yet at least. You havenât even taken off your clothes in front of each other yet. Suddenly, you remember being eighteen and just making out with your boyfriend â the territory of any form of sex prohibited for some reason. Somehow, you two have never gotten around that for the past few weeks youâve hung out. It may be because you always stop it before it happens, but itâs not because you donât want to; just that it feels like youâre going to a place you wonât know how to go back to.
So, itâs mostly date nights, a sneaky coffee hung during the afternoon when youâre not particularly busy and your schedule aligns, and making out in his car until your pager beeps or when his phone rings.
And as good as Mingyu may be with his lips when he locks them with yours, heâs more than what you thought he was.
You have to admit that you had doubts when you first met him. You donât trust a lot of good-looking men, because they always end up being assholes. He also has the face of a guy who â in a cliche fashion â likes to break womenâs hearts on a regular basis. You went to the first date a little hopeful of something real, but you knew your luck with romance isnât the best â may be the worst youâve ever known â but recently, youâre starting to think that maybe the poisonâs wearing out and Mingyu may just be⊠decent.
Decent enough to be a boyfriend. Your boyfriend.
And it feels so weird to think so. Youâve been single for so long, and sure, you went to a lot of dates during the past two years but Mingyuâs going on two months, and everything just seems so⊠right. Like this can be it.
You hate having wishful thinking. You hate getting your hopes high. But god, he makes it so hard.
âYou going with us later?â Nayeon asks, stretching her neck while looking at you.
Youâre all currently at some abandoned ward at the hospital where you take quick breaks from your shift to eat or talk for a while.
âWhere to?â You ask, taking a bite off Taehyungâs egg sandwich which he gave you earlier.
âWeâre going out for barbecue tonight. Jungkook didnât tell you?â Doyeon says, coming back from her quick trip to the vending machine.
You look at them confused. âNo, he didnât tell me about⊠barbecue or going out.â
As if on cue, Jungkook arrives in the scene.
âSheâs not coming with us,â Jungkook says, and you look at him with visible offense on your expression. âSheâs going out with her boyfriend tonight.â
The room quickly becomes rowdy at the declaration, and you flip Taehyung off when you hear him let out a lighthearted âbooâ.
âOh my god,â Nayeon squeals. âMingyuâs your boyfriend now?â She asks, going over to the bed youâre sitting on, huddling closer to you ready to hear some gossip.
Doyeon looks surprised as well.
You look at Jungkook to give him a death glare. The fucker just puts his hands up in the air.
âNo, godâ why would you believe him?â You huff out, rolling your eyes. âMingyuâs not my boyfriend.â Nayeonâs shoulders deflate. âYet.â You add, and suddenly, she smiles. You take a glance at Doyeon who looks at Jungkook subtly. Or not so subtly, since you saw her. She didnât seem to notice.
But Jungkook just wears a smug expression as he approaches you closer.
âSee?â He shrugs, plopping himself on the same bed beside you. He looks at everybody. âShe barely goes home nowadays.â
âShut up, Jungkook!â You say, continuously hitting him on the arm as he makes little effort to dodge them.
But as usual, your friends love to bully you and join in the teasing.
âSo, you joining or what?â Taehyung says after a while.
You actually had plans with Mingyu tonight. Just the usual dinner at his place and some movie and some fooling around, but you remember Jungkookâs teasing and felt the competitive need for him to not be right.
Besides, you donât want to be the kind of friend who suddenly ditches their friends just because theyâre starting to date â and you know that beneath their good-natured chaff is a genuine feeling of sulk because youâve been admittedly bailing out on all your hangs lately.
It isnât even that much because you donât get to hang outside the hospital often â but you usually do go out on Fridays or Saturdays for some barbecue and go to a KTV bar afterwards. Itâs sort of like became a tradition at this point, and it dawns on you that you havenât been present in them for the past few weeks, which makes you feel bad.
âIâm coming with.â
Jungkook immediately eyes you with an arched brow. âFor real?â
You challenge him with a look. âYes, why?â
âI just remember you mentioning youâre going to Mingyuâs tonight.â
âEh,â you shrug. âIâm just gonna tell him Iâm hanging out with you all. No big deal.â You say, believing what you said. Mingyuâs come accustomed to your group of friends and youâre both adults who live separate lives. As far as you know him, he wouldnât be making a big deal out of you cancelling on a plan. You think heâll understand. You hope he does.
âOh my god, donât!â Nayeon cuts in. âDonât worry about us. Go date your hot lawyer boyfriend right now. Are you insane?â
You look at her incredulously. âWhat are you talking about?â
Doyeon looks at you, nodding her head. âNayeonâs right. If itâs between a date with my boyfriend or having barbecue with Taehyung and Jungkook, Iâd rather be with my boyfriend,â She looks at the two guys. âNo offense.â
âAs if I donât want to be with my girlfriend either tonight?â Taehyung says in disbelief.
Doyeon rolls her eyes, but she lets out a low chuckle.
âWaitâ why are we fighting right now? If __ wants to cancel her date with Mingyu to come with us for barbecue night, then let her be.â Jungkook says.
In the corner, Taehyung crosses his arms and sends a certain look Jungkookâs way.
âDonât get too excited, Jungkook.â
Jungkook and you pretty much have the same exact reaction at that.
âWhat the hell does that mean?â
You feel a slight pinch to your arm.
âAw!â You slap Jungkookâs bicep for what he did. âWhat the hell!â
âI said it first.â
âYouâre a child.â You roll your eyes.
Taehyung raises his hand. âI think youâre both twelve-year-olds trapped in thirty-year-old surgeonsâ bodies.â
âTwelveâs too generous, I think theyâre mentally still in first grade.â Doyeon comments.
You donât get to rebut as you see a glimpse of the resident chief coming your way. It seems that the rest noticed the same thing, and suddenly, youâre all scrambling from your comfortable positions on the ER beds and going your separate ways to the hallways.
You went to your go-to-barbecue restaurant as soon as your shift ended for the day.
The eating becomes a drinking session until everybody tapped out but you and Jungkook. More like, you, because Jungkook wasnât drinking at all. Doyeon was the first one to call herself an Uber, and then Nayeon and Taehyung had to leave because they have an early shift the next day.
âDonât you have a shift tomorrow?â You ask Jungkook, downing another shot glass of soju. Your alcohol tolerance is not that high nor is it that low, but after two bottles â you admit youâre starting to feel a little dazed.
âYeah. Afternoon.â Jungkook responds. When he sees you pouring yourself another glass again, he takes the shot and downs it himself.
âRude!â You pout at him.
âYouâre all red and shit, itâs time to tap out.â Jungkook chuckles when you show him an even deeper frown. âCome on, itâs nearing twelve.â
âIâm so tired.â You whine, not even bothering to take your glass back from him, just letting your shoulder deflate and bowing your head down, your eyes becoming droopier by the second.
After four years of residency, you feel like you have started to operate on autopilot somehow. Wake up at fuck-ass oâclock at dawn to prep for work and finish a varying number of hours of shift for the week. You admittedly barely get time to partake in leisure activities â and itâs not new per say. Itâs just like in med school except youâre actually doing the real thing now and instead of grades, real lives are involved and at stake â which puts an even bigger weight on your shoulders.
Itâs why youâre thankful to Mingyu; for his presence⊠for starting to invite you to his place rather than eat out. Donât get it twistedâ you love the bougie dinners and all that, but his penthouse is definitely way more comfortable.
But lately youâve forgotten about what it is like to hang out with your friends outside of the five-minute breaks in the hospital â and times like these you love letting yourself loose and relax because, hey, you deserve it a little!
âShould I buy you soup to drink in the car?â You can hear Jungkook ask. You donât answer. âYeah, I should buy you soup.â He tells himself.
And then you see him going to the counter only to come back after a few minutes with a paperbag in his hand.
âYouâre drunk.â He announces.
You snicker. âIâm not.â
âYou sure are.â Jungkook shakes his head as he takes you by your waist to help you stand up.
âJust feeling a little dizzy, âs all.â You mumble when you fall against his neck upon straightening your legs.
âYouâre not just a little dizzy, silly.â Jungkook whispers against your head.
You hum as a response and you can feel the vibration on his chest as he laughs at you. He doesnât say another word as he guides your steps outside of the restaurant, and before you know it, youâre situated in the passenger seat of his car, with him wearing your seatbelt around you.
âThanks.â You give him a lopsided smile, shifting around in the space to get more comfortable.
âWelcome, your highness.â You giggle at his response. âDrink up, itâs gonna help you sober up.â He says, handing you the paper bowl of soup he bought from the restaurant a few minutes ago.
You groan, taking it from him and slowly sip from the cup. Jungkook tells you to get his water flask from his backpack on the back seat when you finish your soup.
The soup and water relieve you from the acid reflux you feel in your stomach. Only slightly. Because when you close your eyes and lean back on the seat more comfortably, thatâs when you feel something in your throat.
âJungkook,â You call him.
âHm?â
âI think I want to puke.â
Jungkook immediately turns to look at you. âFor real?â
You bite your bottom lip, nodding your head repeatedly.
âOkay, shitâ wait,â Jungkook looks around for something. Probably a plastic bag or whatever. But when he finishes scoping the area around the interior of his car, he seems to find nothing. When he glances at the rearview mirror, he takes a reverse and suddenly, he turns off the ignition of his car. âIâll park here for a while. Letâs go outside.â
He gets out of the car first before opening your door. You think youâre fine to walk on your own, but you donât oppose to Jungkook wrapping his arm around your waist and leading you to aâŠ
Playground. The swings, in particular.
âSit here for a bit.â He instructs, holding the chains steady for you as he waits until youâre sitting on it. He runs towards the car, and you feel way too weird in the throat to ask him why.
You recognize the place thatâs not exactly far away from your complex. Maybe a ten-minute drive away.
Jungkook comes back with a crumpled plastic bag. Itâs from a familiar provision shop. Probably was in his compartment glove the whole time.
âHere,â he hands you the plastic. âIâll help you.â
You get it from him and shake your head.
âNo, itâs fine.â
âI donât mind.â
You look at him straight in the eye. âYouâre not gonna help me puke, Jungkook.â
Jungkook stares at you for a while and then sighs. He holds the chains of your swing again, standing beside you, putting his hand in his pockets.
âOkay. Puke your heart out.â
You snort. You open the plastic bag and get a feel of that weird invasive push in your throat â until you realize Jungkook is watching you.
Looking up at him, you whine, âJungkook. Donât watch.â
Jungkook furrows his brows. âIâm not watching.â
âItâs gross.â You say, a bit embarrassed. The whole thingâs embarrassing, to be honest. Jungkook taking care of you because you got stupid drunk. Itâs not the first time, and there were definitely a lot more occurrences worse than this â youâre just grateful he hasnât kicked you out of a curb. Yet.
âWatching somebody puke?â He scoffs as he says your name. âWe literally amputated a leg today, and FYI, Iâm just scared youâre gonna have some serious complication while puking.â
You frown becauseâ okay. Fair. He has valid points.
âOkay. Well. Iâm not gonna die puking. So, turn around or stand back there at the slides far from me.â
âSeriously?â Jungkook asks, disbelief painting his voice.
You just nod. Thankfully, he doesnât say any more and obediently walks about five steps away from you, acquiescing to your request.
It takes you a few minutes to settle yourself before you let out the accumulation of what youâve digested for the day. Your throat feels crass when youâre done, and your stomach feels empty. When you look ahead, your head still feels like itâs floating. But at least you feel a little better now.
âDrink this,â Jungkook approaches you again and gives you his tumbler once again. You drink from it quickly and quietly. âFeel okay now?â
You hum, nodding and smiling up at him.
âThanks, Kook.â
He only mirrors your smile and goes to sit on the swing beside you. âYou wanna go home now?â
You nibble on your bottom lip, contemplating his question. As you look around, you notice itâs so... solemn. Itâs midnight, after all. Thereâs a sort of eerie calmness with the cricket sounds but the wind is nice and the dark skies project twinkling lights.
âItâs so nice here,â You say instead.
âIâll take that as a no.â Jungkook chuckles and you follow.
You look at him and sincerely, you ask, âJust for a few minutes, please?â
Jungkookâs quick to say, âOkay.â
His voice is just as gentle as the night breeze.
âThank you.â
âItâs nothing. Youâre sobering up?â
âEh. Iâm getting there.â
âGood.â
You look at him again. âThank you.â
Jungkook sends you a confused look, but thereâs a smile on his face.
âI heard that.â
You chuckle. âAnd Iâm saying it again. Thank you.â
Jungkook shakes his head. âAlright. Youâre welcome. Times two. And youâre not allowed to say it again.â
You both laugh at the exchange. The silence that follows after that is comfortable.
âYou know, you still remember Changsub? My first boyfriend?â Jungkook nods at your words. âHe asked me to be his girlfriend at a playground. Some old one in our hometown.â You pause for a while, recalling that memory. You laugh because it was just⊠so long ago. But the pictures are still so vivid in your head.
âSweet. Too bad heâs an asshole, huh?â Jungkook comments, having known most of your relationship history.
âYeah,â You shrug, laughing still. âBut I, uhm, I remember a day after thatâ I had, like, this whole scenario in my head. I pictured a few years down the line, heâs on his knees and heâs showing me a ring asking me to be his wife on the very same playground. I thought it would be really sweet if he proposed to me at the same place.â
âWow.â Jungkook muses, and you chuckle at the reaction.
âI know. It was crazy. I mean, why the hell was I thinking about getting married at that time? I was literally only sixteen and I think I had an AP assignment due the day after that. I was just so in my head.â You say, looking at Jungkook who has a smile of amusement on his face.
And then your laughter fades.
âI was so naive that time. But then I was also naive at twenty. And JungkookâŠâ You bite your bottom lip, feeling it quiver when you look into his eyes this time. âIâm afraid that Iâm still naive at thirty.â
Jungkook calls your name softly, noticing the drop on your tone and the shift from playful to⊠melancholic.
You close your eyes and draw a deep breath.
âI like Mingyu. I really like him a lot,â And the declaration feels weird verbally announced. Youâve thought it for the past few weeks youâve been with him â but youâve both never said it to each other. Not yet. But saying it out loud now â it feels different. It feels real. And youâre so scared. âAnd we enjoy each otherâs company a lot that I feel like he likes me just as much as I like him. You know, we kissed on the first date. I donât usually kiss on the first date. But I like him so much that I did.â
You look at Jungkook sadly. You gauge the look on his face, but he just sits there with an unreadable expression on his face, though he listens. He always does. Youâre not particularly looking for any response, anyway. And he just seems to know so well that right now, you just want to vent.
âItâs so embarrassing to say but I feel like heâs it, Kook.â You swallow the lump in your throat. âAnd I feel like⊠like the last time I felt this way about someone was with Eunwoo. And that was four years agoââ You let your head fall slightly. âAnd Iâm so scared.â You donât intend the crack in your voice when you say it.
âHey,â Jungkook calls you again, turning his body towards you, reaching out to hold your arm.
âWhat if Iâm wrong? Again?â You tell him.
It takes Jungkook a few seconds to answer.
âI think, __, that youâre a person with a big heart,â You scoff with a smile on your face at that. You get that a lot. But Jungkook insists, âI think you have so much love to give, you know? And I think⊠Mingyuâs a lucky guy if he gets to receive it.â
That makes your lips curl. Touched.
âYou think so?â
Jungkook only nods.
âWhy canât you be nice to me like this all the time?â You crack a joke.
âIâm always nice to you,â Jungkook says in disbelief, obviously finding your words absurd. You only laugh but now Jungkook turns serious, and you fear you might have induced a genuine worry in him. âAm I not always nice to you?â
âYou always tease me and shit in front of our friends but so incredibly sweet when weâre all alone.â
Jungkook stutters when he says, âWell⊠thatâs my love language. Teasing you.â
You squint your eyes at him. âAwe, you love me?â
âOkay, fuck off.â
You burst into laughter when Jungkook rolls his eyes at you.
âHey, swing me.â
You tell Jungkook, situating yourself more comfortably on the wooden platform attached to the chains.
âA dollar per minute.â He says, standing up from his own seat and placing himself behind you.
âI thought you hate capitalism? What is this?â
âThis is forced labor.â Jungkook says with a groan that you think is a feigned exasperation, since you begin to feel movement right after it.
âYou broke my hairdryer the other day. Consider this your compensation.â You look up at him to give him a smarmy smile.
Fom where youâre seated, you realize just how⊠big his presence is. Itâs not the looming, ominous type, though â itâs quite the opposite. When Jungkook surrounds you, you find a bit of comfort in it â a huge one if you want to be honest to yourself.
âAnd I already bought you a new one. Weâre even.â Jungkook squints his eyes at you.
You laugh.
âYouâre gonna borrow and break it again.â
He visibly winces. âTouchĂ©.â
Jungkook swings you while you talk about your day, just like usual. He asks you about your laparoscopy that kept you from having lunch with the rest of your friends at the hospital earlier that day, about your new scrub cap, and you gossip a little about the new lab tech having a crush on the scrub nurse you both know.
For all his complaints earlier, Jungkook seemingly doesnât seem to mind having swung you for the past ten minutes now. Heâs relaxed and gentle with his movements, and his voice is quaint and soft as he talks to you.
But then you start to feel bad for him so you tell him to stop, standing up from the swing.
âOkay, your turn.â
Jungkook gives you a big grin.
âNice.â
You chuckle at his enthusiasm when he sits on the swing chair this time around. But when you attempt a push, he barely moves, prompting him to laugh.
âWhat weak ass push was that?â He says incredulously, looking at you.
You jut your bottom lip out. âYouâre heavy and Iâm drunk.â
The second time you push him is more forceful but then Jungkook voices out a complaint after the third, fourth, and every single time you do it. You roll your eyes at his tantrums, but then suddenly, you think of a much better idea.
You push him off the swing with all your remaining strength even though your body feels like jelly from all the alcohol you consumed an hour ago.
âWhat the fuck, __?â
You burst out in boisterous laughter at Jungkookâs state, his hands and knees planted on the ground. He then sits on it, clapping his palms together to get rid of some dust that gathered on his skin.
Without thinking too much about it, you make quick steps over to his direction and situate yourself beside him.
Jungkook looks at you, confused, but you only give him a grin.
âLetâs lie on the ground.â
âWhat? No!â Jungkook immediately opposes it. As you expected.
You scrunch your face. âOh! Look at me! Iâm Jeon Jungkook and Iâm a germaphobe and Iâm afraid of dirt!â You say, intentionally making your voice a pitch higher.
Jungkook deadpans. âPathogens can kill your cellsâ metabolic machinery, so, yeah? Iâm afraid of dirt.â
You roll your eyes at him and while he goes off about how they can also cause a toxic massive immune reaction, you push his chest forcefully which catches him off guard, prompting him to lay on the ground. Before he can say anything, you take his arm out to spread beside you and you use it to rest your head on.
Jungkook stops his rambling after that.
âSee, shut up.â You say, backhanding him slightly on the chest. You fix your gaze at the skies.
âThe sky is beautiful tonight. Worry about your pathogens next time.â
Jungkook chuckles, and you feel the vibration of his body as he does so, being so close to him.
As you peer up to look at him, you see him folding his other arm to lie his head on it.
You smile, going back to looking at the sky.
âThis is like in The Notebook.â Jungkook says after a beat of silence.
âRight?â You grin. âAnd with the pathogens, too.â You tease.
Jungkook laughs, pinching your arm in his reach. âGod, shut up about your pathogens.â
You chuckle at the irony.
âThatâs me,â you point upwards, referring to a big twinkling light in the sky. Then, you move your finger towards the star beside it. âAnd then thatâs you, âcause Iâm a bigger star than you.â
You feel Jungkook look at you from his position. âYou are so drunk.â
That causes you to giggle, clutching your stomach because you canât stop laughing at pretty much everything tonight.
âI feel like I'm not anymore. My head just feels like itâs floating but no, definitely not drunk.â
âWhatever you say.â Jungkook says, chest vibrating from laughing at you.
âHm. Race you to sleep, Jungkook.â You snuggle on his armpit. As you do, you smell a waft of your water lily springs body wash from Bath and Body Works. âCan you stop using my body wash?â
âWhat?â You can hear Jungkook say, but as he calls your name and more, his voice starts fading. â__? Hey, donât sleep on me.â
You hum, eyes still closed.
â__, hey!â Jungkook grazes your arms. You can feel your head moving as Jungkook starts to sit, guiding your back to sit upright. He calls you again, gently tapping your cheek to wake you up.
The truth is, youâre really sleepy, but not so much that you canât hear him anymore or move on your own.
Jungkook gives up trying to wake you up, though, convinced by your acting. Soon, he goes over in front of you, reaching for your arms and placing them around his neck.
âJust put your legs around me, yeah?â He whispers against your hair once youâre glued against his back.
You hum, intending it to sound like a mumble so Jungkook thinks you donât actually understand.
Jungkook fixes your legs around him, standing up, bouncing a little to get you nice and snug in his back. You smile at the prospect of a piggyback ride.
âI know youâre awake, silly,â He says suddenly, his voice painted with amusement.
You stifle your laughter against his neck, breaking your supposed to be convincing act.
âRace you to the car, Kook.â you whisper into his ear.
Jungkook scoffs, but he doesnât say anything more until you reach his car. He wears your seatbelt for you, though, and tells you to drink more water from his tumbler.
You fall asleep easily mid-drive.
In the morning, you wake up with a banging headache, your eyes catching the sight of a post-it note on your desk with one tab of Advil.
morning/afternoon stinky i made porridge before i left for my shift just heat it up again when you wake up ps: your medical bill from my personal care will be discussed later when i get back home. no friends discount allowed â your angelic friend, kookie
You chuckle at the (annoyingly elaborate) sketch of an angry bunny on the side.
âMingyu,â you call his attention. Mingyu turns to look at you. âThis is a really nice place.â
He smiles at your remark. Mingyu moves his hand from your waist to your lower back as he leads you to the entrance door.
âIâm glad you think so. Iâve been wanting to bring you here for a while.â
When you both reach the door, Mingyu introduces himself to the butler. You let the two of them talk for a while, him confirming his reservation, your eyes roaming around the restaurant and taking in the classy interior.
âPlease follow me, Mr. Kim and Ms. __,â
The butler gestures inside and you both follow behind him.
Itâs another one of your date nights. While it isnât unusual for you both to get fancy with dinners, youâve gotten used to the casual dinners youâve been having at his own place with take-outs and his impressive cooking.
But tonight is a little different. Thereâs a certain something in the air â especially when Mingyu especially asked you to dress a little more formally. He always has a suit on naturally with his line of work, but tonight heâs wearing a particularly shiny one. The tie is something youâve never seen before, but maybe you just like to think that. You on the other hand settled for an indigo satin dress that hugs your figure like a glove and shows just enough skin. Youâve always thought you looked good in it.
And you think itâs perfect for when Mingyu asks something that will change the trajectory of your relationship for good.
Today marks the third month since you started seeing each other. You donât know if heâs aware of it â but itâs been, indeed, whole three months. An monthsary some sort? Granted, thereâs no official label to it, at least not yet. But with the fancy set-up and the way he cryptically replied to when you asked him what the whole thing was for tonight, you think he does know. And this is his idea of surprise.
Of course, you donât let yourself get obsessed with the idea lest you end up with only mere assumptions.
âThank you.â You both say to the butler as he leads you both to your table. He gives you the menu book and you take your sweet time to choose from the selection, giving the butler your orders after a few minutes.
When he leaves, Mingyu looks at you wearing his usual charming smile.
You donât think youâll ever tire of his face.
âThis is really fancy,â You tell him, smiling.
âItâs sort of like special place,â Mingyu chuckles. âYou know, Mr. Yangâ the senior partner over at workâ officially announced me as partner here.â He tells you, eyes looking into yours.
You feel your heart do a somersault at his gaze and the possibility of his words.
âGood steak?â You say, trying to act oblivious to the weight of his confession. You also donât want to assume heâs saying what you think heâs sayingâŠ
âYeah, yeah,â He nods his head, chuckling, then his laughter fades as he begins to look more serious when he continues, âSo⊠itâs been three months since we started seeing each other.â
Your heart skips a bit when you listen to his words. You didnât think what you were thinking earlier was true, but now that heâs brought it up, you deduce you might not be too far away.
â__,â Mingyu calls. You hum, leaning in closer to let him know youâre listening attentively. He gives you a coy smile, then his hand on the table moves over towards yours. You donât fight your big smile off when he places it on top of yours, especially when you feel the warmth it radiates and how it looks like it could just easily enclose your own. âYou said you wanted to take things slow, and I respect that. I just want you to know that this is â this thing between us â itâs serious for me.â
âIâm serious about us two.â You say immediately.
Mingyu chuckles, simpering when he looks at you again. âIâm glad weâre on the same page.â
âSo?â You ask, waiting.
âI want to be your boyfriend. If you let me.â Mingyu says, clear and firm. âItâs just⊠Iâm happy with our dates. And I just love hanging out with you. But I think Iâll be even happier if we go out together as boyfriend and girlfriend â officially â from now on.â
You nibble on your bottom lip; couldnât contain the big smile youâve been fighting against since earlier.
Youâve been expecting the question ever since you got here, but youâre quite surprised for your assumptions to be right.
âOkay.â You say coolly.
Mingyu furrows his brow. âOkayâ as inâŠ?â
âOkay, as in, I wanna be your girlfriend.â
His lips part. âAre you⊠for real?â You nod your head repeatedly, stifling a giggle as Mingyu begins to smile so widely. âFuck.â
âHey,â you lightheartedly scold.
Mingyu nods his head, still smiling. âIâm sorry, Iâm justââ he cuts himself off with a chuckle. âYouâre my girlfriend now.â
âYeah.â You chuckle.
âI wish I can kiss you right now.â
You feel your cheeks heat up as you look around. There are too many people. But the hopeless romantic in you tells you itâs okay.
âWhy wonât you?â You challenge him, and Mingyu arches a brow at that.
He looks like heâs giving in, but then he shakes his head. With a smile that borders on flirtatious, he leans closer to you and whispers, âLater.â
Mingyuâs sweet promise at the restaurant ends up with you straddling his lap on the driverâs seat, your dress riding over your thighs and the thin straps falling off your shoulder.
"Fuck," Mingyu breathes in your ear, hands full of your ass while you continue to grind against the bulging crotch of his slacks.
You're not any better, panting on the crook of his neck as he encourages you to move on top of him. You feel the wet kisses he bestows across the column of your neck, moaning at the delicious friction from one particular thrust of his hips.
It wasnât supposed to be like this, in your defense. Your dinner ended on a really good note and Mingyu was just supposed to lean in for one sweet kiss once you were situated in his car.
But then you swiped your tongue over his lips and Mingyu threw away his gentlemanly act for the night, granting you back with a kiss that had more fervor in it. Forceful in a way that says he wants you.
And the feelingâs more than mutual.
His coatâs long gone now, stashed away on his back seat, and youâve already undone the top three buttons of his dress shirt. Mingyu squeezes your boob over the thin material of your dress, prompting you to let out a low moan.
âWhyââ Mingyu cuts himself off to kiss your lips one more time.
âWhy donât we go to your place?â
You donât register his words the first time, too drunk from the sensation of his touch over your body.
âYeah?â You mindlessly say, eyes shut as Mingyu peppers kisses to your jaw down to your neck once again.
âYouâve never invited me to your place.â
At that, your eyes open and you still on top of him.
âWhat?â
Mingyu looks up, and youâre about to be distracted by his messy hair and his swollen lips but then he says, âWeâve never gone to your place before.â
âOh.â
Heâs quick to gauge your reaction. Cupping your jaw, he plants a kiss to the side of your lips. âIâm not insisting if you donât want to.â
âN-no, I want to,â is your immediate response. âItâs justâŠâ you trail off, thinking about how to approach the subject.
Mingyu hums, waiting for your next words, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. It helps you regulate your nervousness at the sudden mention of your place.
âI have a roommate.â
There you let it out.
Somehow in the past three months youâve been dating, you never mentioned that youâre living with Jungkook. The subject just never came up â until now, that is â and you didnât really feel the need to tell him when he never asked in the first place.
But deep inside, youâre a bit hesitant to tell him about it. Sure, Jungkookâs his friend, and Mingyu did say they were close and knew each other well, so it shouldnât be a problem for him that youâre residing with his close friend â but thatâs exactly what makes the whole thing weird. Itâs one thing as a woman to live with a man in one place, and itâs another if that man is a friend of your â well, now boyfriend.
And you know to yourself that you and Jungkook are purely platonic so there should be absolutely nothing to be worried about. Itâs not even that you donât trust Mingyu to understand â itâs just that itâs not as easy to tell him straight up. Not when youâre just starting a relationship right now with an official label to it â not when youâre finally in a serious relationship after four whole years of looking and waiting.
You donât want to ruin it. Not right now.
âOh, okay.â Mingyu nods at your confession, understanding. âIs it whyâŠ?â
You nod your head, already getting what he means. Licking your lips, you look anywhere but his eyes. Instead, you focus your gaze on the exposed upper part of his chest and let your fingers toy with his collar. Mingyu lets you.
âBut⊠roommateâs away for the night.â You tell him. And itâs true. Jungkook told you he has a date tonight and that usually means he wonât be going home.
And you want Mingyu so bad itâs not even funny anymore.
That puts a smile on your boyfriendâs face.
âShe is, huh?â
Your heart skips a bit, and you give him a smile you hope he doesnât recognize as fake.
Somehow, you donât bother to correct him even though Jungkook â your very roommate â is most definitely not a she.
âAnd here goes my bedroom,â You say as you open your door, letting Mingyu in. Youâre not really worried about its state because thank god you cleaned up before leaving for your date tonight. Jungkookâs the cleaner one though, and thatâs an advantage because heâs kind of obsessed with cleaning the whole apartment and not just his room when he has the time. Itâs exactly why Mingyu pays you a compliment on the neatness of the place.
âCute,â he muses, looking at the Sanrio plushies on your nightstand.
âYeah.â You nod, feeling a little shy. Mingyuâs place is the definition of bachelor â his bedroomâs literally out of an Architectural Digest page. And while youâre proud of your Sanrio plushie collection â theyâre your childhood gifts and youâve collected them until college and they were expensive as hell â you canât help but think that maybe youâre coming off as childish right now. You wish you couldâve hidden them or somethingâŠ
You hope Mingyu doesnât think too much about it.
âI like the room,â Mingyu says, looking at you whoâs sitting on the edge of your bed. âIt feels very⊠you.â
âReally?â You chuckle. âI mean, Iâd hope so. Iâve been here for two years.â
Mingyu chuckles, following you to the bed. You feel the mattress sinking in when he sits beside you.
âI wanted to give you something at the restaurant earlier, but I kinda chickened out,â He says.
You arch your brow. âWhat is it?â
You watch as Mingyu takes something out of his pocket, your heart skipping a few beats when it turns out to be a jewelry box. Mingyu looks at you and smiles, hands slowly opening the velvet box, and your lips part when it reveals a dainty silver necklace with a small drop diamond pendant.
âWow.â You utter, eyes blinking repeatedly, not knowing how to react.
âWellâŠ?â Mingyu says, gauging your reaction.
âYouâre giving that to me?â You ask in pure disbelief. He only nods. âThatâs reallyâ itâs really pretty.â
âI thought about you when I picked it up. It made sense.â He says smoothly, and you giggle at his words.
God, you like him so much.
âI honestly donât know what to say,â You chuckle, cupping your face with your hands as if it could make the blood go away from your cheeks. âThank you.â
âIâd love to wear it on you.â Mingyu smiles.
âOf course.â
He takes out the necklace from the box and asks you to turn around for a bit. You do so, helping him put your hair over one shoulder. You can feel him scooting closer to your back, his breathing on your nape, and the way he slowly caresses your shoulder first before his arms go around your neck to lock the necklace around your nape.
The cold of the material hits your skin, just on time when you feel Mingyu planting a kiss on your clavicle.
âItâs really pretty.â You say in awe, touching the pendant.
âHm,â Mingyu continues to pepper your skin with small kisses. âYouâre beautiful.â You turn to look at him, smiling. He mirrors that and cups your jaw to give you a peck on the lips. âGod, youâre so fucking beautiful.â
You giggle when he squeezes your waist.
âThank you.â you say in between your laughter. You hold his arms and stand up from the bed to place yourself in front of him. Mingyu looks up at you with one brow raised, but heâs quick to manspread when you begin to straddle his lap. As you situate yourself on top of him, you wrap your arms around his neck and let him run his hands across your body when you do so. âI really appreciate the necklace.â
âYeah?â Mingyu whispers against your lips.
You hum, trailing your fingers down his collar then start to unbutton his shirt. When you get the few undone, you look Mingyu into his eyes and he meets your lips that crash into his in a few seconds.
You suppose itâs not exactly surprising that the kiss turns heated way too quickly. After all, you were both humping each other in his car earlier.
Sighing into the kiss, you tug at his hair, and it prompts his hands to squeeze your ass a little too tight. Mingyu breaks the kiss and thereâs a barely noticeable string of saliva when your lips move away from each other. He trails kisses from your jaw down to the base of your neck, taking the straps of your dress down, hands beginning to rub your bare arms.
âSo beautiful,â Mingyu sighs, lips travelling back to your own. He prods his tongue in your mouth that you gladly open for him. You let out a moan from the sensation of his tongue against yours, clutching his shoulders so hard you're sure you're gonna imprint your nails on his skin despite the shirt he still has on.
"Mingyu," you whisper, mouth ajar and gaping uselessly against his hair as his mouth leaves yours eventually to go down to your cleavage. His wandering fingers go around your back to fumble with the ribbons that are holding the dress, and youâre quick to help him tug it down completely until your chest is out for his full viewing.
Mingyu hisses at the lack of bra â except the nipple tapes â when the top of the dress comes off. He stops and stares, then takes a long and deep breath, as if the sight of your breasts intoxicated him; sighing as if he's long wished to see you like this.
"Fuck, sweetheart, you're so hot." He cups the swell of your chest in his two large palms, fondling them as you continue rolling your pelvis against his straining crotch area. He grazes the silicon material covering your nipples, looks up at you as if to ask.
âY-yeah,â you sigh out, knowing what he meant with the look.
Taking them off gently, Mingyu earns a moan from you, the sound getting a bit louder when he puts one of the two peaks in his mouth, and the sight is nothing short of erotic.
It elicits a sharp breath from you, hands flying to his soft and brunette locks. You almost feel bad thinking that you've been grabbing at them since earlier.
But you have more important things to mind than attending to Mingyuâs silky and healthy hair.
You seek for his lips which he gives you almost automatically when he notices you asking for it, the two of you meeting in a hungry kiss, your nails on one hand clawing at his back as you cup his jaw in the other. But his hands don't leave your breasts, palming them roughly but just right; squeezing so hard all the while tugging at your nipples.
For a moment, you take a halt, catching your breath and look at him with your hooded eyes. You kiss the corner of his mouth. "Take your shirt off."
He does as you say so, and you help him unbutton the entirety of his dress shirt to get the thing off him faster. Mingyu lets go of your boobs but quickly holds them as soon as his shirt is off. This time he flicks at both your nipples, and you canât help but bite at his neck. The pleasureâs too much and you can feel yourself dripping down your thong, the sticky feeling of it making you squirm on his lap.
As if Mingyu has read your mind, he grips your waist and sets you down on the bed. He hovers over you, fingers idly exploring under the skirt of your dress until he finds the band of your panties.
You groan when you feel the cold brush of air on your bare thighs, suddenly feeling impatient. "Mingyu,"
âYou want me to eat you out?â He whispers, pressing a quick kiss to your lips.
You almost cry at his question.
âYes,â
Mingyu drags his fingers on your clothed core, groaning when he feels how soiled your thong is. "You're so fucking wet, sweetheart. Look at you," he sighs, hands leaving your pussy as he leans back and palms the strain of his pants. Your toes curl at the sight, uneven breaths puffing from your lips. "Look so sweet under me."Â Â
And you're also a mess under him, writhing and completely getting lightheaded from his actions.
You let out a mewl when he pushes up the skirt of your dress to your hips, dragging down your underwear to your thighs.
Lifting your butt off the mattress, you help him get it off of you completely and you don't miss the way the flimsy thong sticks to your pussy before he takes it off you entirely. Mingyu seems to notice as well, judging from the way he hissed under his breath.
Your pussy is slick and sloppy, wet and dripping for him.
"So fucking pretty for me, god, I canât believe I get to have you like this," he whispers against your throbbing heat, leaving a small kiss on your clit.
You arch your back when he uses his finger to run it through your slit, adding another one to spread your walls. Mingyu groans at the juices that stick to his digits.
As he adjusts himself on the mattress, hands gripping the back of your knees, you push them up until you're bended in almost half. You hold up your own legs, getting whiplashed when he licks a long, firm and deep stripe over you, making your eyes roll from the back of your head, breath hitching as you keep yourself steady in your own hold.
"Oh my god â Mingyu!â"
He starts slow, kissing around your labia, the tip of his tongue teasing your clit. Your head falls from the mountain of pillows under you, suddenly feeling frustrated.
"S-stop teasing me. Please, Mingyu,"
Ending your misery, he spreads your thighs, puckers his lips and dusts a few pecks over your bare heat and dives in for it seconds later with too much fervor. He savors every drop that oozes out from your hole, licking and lapping until you feel his tongue inside you. Mingyu could be spelling out his name for all it matters, but you really couldn't give a fuck.
"Oh, fuuuuckâ" you groan, trying so hard to keep yourself steady. "S-so good,"
He hums in your pussy, and you don't help the way one of your legs drop to the mattress, the other one hooking on his shoulder. It makes you grab for his hair, pushing his head down and thrashing underneath his face.
It felt like minutes passed and you're almost crying by how good it all feels, his tongue doing wonders in the walls of your heat.
Soon, tears start to well in your eyes because of the pleasure, drawn out moans and heavy breaths filling the room. You couldnât care less about the volume. Right now, you just want to cum.
"Your fingers, Mingyu,â You sigh out, and before you could even prepare yourself, he's inserting his middle finger inside you, pushing it in until it's knuckle-deep. "Oh god!"
âYeah?â
He starts at an average pace until he adds another finger in your entrance, this time picking up his speed â and it makes you drip everywhere.
When he settles on scissoring his fingers inside you, moving at an abnormal pace that have you gasping under him, your body shake and your toes curl on the sheets. Mingyu swoops down to kiss your pussy again, two digits being repeatedly swallowed by your warm hole, slurping every juice that comes out of it. As he feels you tremble, the precedence of you nearing your climax, he takes his thumb to your clit.
"Oh, fuck, fuck," your pant, "I'm comingâfuckââ
Mingyu removes his fingers from you, exchanging them with his tongue instead and you cry out while he continues to rub your clit vigorously.
And when you arch your back higher this time, you spasm around his fingers, moaning uncontrollably.
âThatâs it, sweetheart, thatâs it,â Mingyu whispers, pecking your heat a few more times to calm you down from your high. After a few moments, he removes your thigh from his shoulder, quickly coming up to kiss you on the mouth.
You taste yourself on his tongue but you couldnât pay much attention to it when you feel his dick against your thigh. Closing your eyes, you let exhaustion wash over you.
Mingyu lets you stay still, and when you open your eyes again, you see him staring at you with a warm smile dancing across his lips. Your heart skips a beat, could no longer feel it but hear it instead, and you bite your lip, pushing his chest away slightly in an attempt to get on top of him.
âLet me suck your cock.â You say, but Mingyu shakes his head, firm on his place: on top of you.
âLetâs do that next time. Tonight, I have to fuck you well into the next day.â
And he does.
You didn't cum again â you usually don't from penetrative sex â and your first orgasm exhausted you way too much to let yourself go the second time. Mingyu didn't mind, telling you it was fine when you gave him an apology about it.
You wake up panicking at the thought that youâre going to be late for work.
Scrambling to sit on your bed, you take your alarm clock in your hands, letting out a dramatic âThank godâ when you see it read as 5:06am. Your alarm goes off at 5:30 as your weekday shift starts at seven.
Which means itâs still early. And youâre not going to be late for work like you feared.
You remember last nightâs events though, and your eyes quickly go over to the other side of your bed.
Mingyuâs not in it â but it feels warm. An indication of the fact that he stayed the night over after what you did. You also deduced that he mustâve only gotten out a few minutes before you woke up.
Thinking heâs outside your room, you begin to stand up â groaning the way your thighs ache a bit as you do so. Youâre only dressed in your panties and camisole, and you thought about going out in them â but then it made you feel a little weird. Okay, sure, Mingyuâs already seen everything there is to see â you had sex last night â but being naked in a non-sexual fashion in front of someone is kind of a little different, so you opt on putting on a pair of short shorts.
As you head towards your door, fingers ready to twist the knob, youâre surprised to see Mingyu meeting you halfway.
âHeyââ
âWhy the hell is Jungkook here?â
Your smile drops and you look at him in confusion.
Mingyu wears an expression youâve never seen him in before. Heâs pissed. Eyebrows furrowed, gaze not soft like it usually is when it comes to you, and above all⊠his tone borders on accusatory.
âWhy is he in the living room saying heâs your roommate?â Mingyu asks once again when you donât say anything.
âIââ but youâre rendered speechless, frozen in your position. Your mouth moves but nothing comes out. Your brain is a jumble of thoughts and all you can think about is Mingyu seemingly getting mad at you.
â__?â A voice thatâs absolutely familiar speaks up. You hear Jungkookâs steps getting closer to your door when he finally shows himself to you. âWhatâs Mingyu doing here? And why doesnât he know we live together?â
Mingyu forces himself inside your bedroom and bumps into you a bit as he faces you with a venomous tone. âIâm going.â He declares, grabbing his shirt from your desk chair and putting on his belt.
âMingyu, itâs notââ
âSave it, __.â He cuts you off before you can finish your sentence, hastily buttoning up his dress shirt.
Jungkook frowns and butts in. âMingyu, let her talk. I told you earlier, weâre roommatesââ
âJeon,â You turn to look at him, almost spitting out his name. âNot now.â
You see Jungkook visibly recoiling at that. But youâre too concerned over Mingyu already on his way out the door, ready to leave.
âMingyu, just hear me out.â You say, looking at him sincerely.
âI donât wanna hear it. Not right now.â Mingyu tells you with a cold look paired with a cold tone. You deflate, taken aback at how nothing on his face screams like he cares about you. He glances at his watch. âI have to go to work.â
He heads towards your apartment door and you follow him there, hoping to change his mind about hearing you out.
âI know what youâre thinking right now, and itâs not that, Gyu.â You tell him once again, following him outside your unit.
Mingyu stands there for a while. Then, he sighs, putting his thumb over his temple. He heaves out a breath, looking into your eyes as he says, âI just donât want to talk about it right now, okay? Letâs just⊠let things cool down for a bit.â
You swallow the lump in your throat. âHow do you mean?â
âIâm flying to Chicago this afternoon but Iâll be back in the evening. Iâll call you later after work.â He says, and now his face doesnât look so devoid of emotions like how it was earlier.
But you worry about his words.
âYouâre flying to another state.â You reiterate, just so you know you heard him right.
âItâs just for a few hours, sweetheart,â The petname soothes you a little but then he continues to add, âLook, Iâm not sure of how I feel about⊠Jungkook being your roommate. You didnât tell me about itâ just imagine my surprise when I saw him after I went out of your room. Itâs not a nice feeling to get lied to,â He says, and you feel an arrow shooting straight to your heart at that. You blink your eyes, feeling like there are tears forming on the sides. Mingyu seems to notice that as he steps closer to you and rubs your arm. âWeâll talk later, __. Just not now. Give me time to process this.â
You give him a weak smile.
Mingyu cups your cheek, and you lean towards his touch. Rubbing a thumb over your skin, he leans down to kiss your lips.
When he breaks away after a quick moment, he tells you, âLater, hm? I promise.â You nod. Mingyu gives you a smile. âAnd thank you for last night.â
That erases your worry. Not all, but some of it.
âThank you too.â
âAlright, Iâm going, okay?â Mingyu lets go of your face and you look at him as he turns around after you bid your goodbye.
You watch his retreating back in the hallway from your position, nibbling on your bottom lip trying to process the turn of events â and itâs only five fucking am still.
When you enter your apartment again, you see Jungkook sitting on the couch of your living room. And he looks just as pissed when your gaze falls to him.
âWhat the hell was that?â He welcomes you with.
âWhat the hell is this?â You point back at him. âYou told me you werenât coming home.â
âYeah, but I have work â which we both go to at the same time, by the way. Apparently, youâre bringing boys now to this goddamn place.â
You do a double take at his tone.
âWhat the fuck do you mean by that?â You say, voicing starting to pick up volume. You feel irritation bubbling up inside you as Jungkook stands up from the couch and turns his back to you, ignoring your question as he heads to the direction of the kitchen.
âI said weâre both gonna be late for work.â
You follow his steps. âNo, you said Iâm âbringing boys hereâ, what do you mean by that?â You grab his arm and thatâs effective enough to make him turn around and look at you. But he avoids eye contact. âDonât turn your back to me when Iâm talking to you, Jungkook.â
âIâm so sorry then, Iâll make sure to look into your eyes when I say every word that comes out of my mouth from now on.â He sarcastically says, and your annoyance grows.
âWatch your goddamn tone.â
Jungkook scoffs. âYouâre the one to talk about watching tones when you literally just told me to shut up in front of your boyfriend?â
Your frown instantly. So you were right to think that moved him a little. But you tell him your confusion, âWhere the hell did you get that? I didnât tell you to shut up.â
âYeah, you just told me ânot nowâ like Iâm a child trying to insert himself in mommy and daddyâs little argument. You might as well just have told me to shut the fuck up.â
The way he phrased your argument with Mingyu âlittleâ rubs you off the wrong way.
âOh, I am so sorry,â you sarcastically say. âDid getting told to shut up by a woman in front of another man hurt your big macho man ego?âÂ
âYouâre making it about another thing.â Jungkook rolls his eyes, opening the refrigerator and taking out a loaf of bread.
âYou think I forgot about your little âbringing boys hereâ comment?â You point out, but Jungkook decides now is the time to be an asshole and starts acting nonchalant instead, putting jam all over his bread. But you see the tick in his jaw, the tongue prodding against his mouth. Heâs just as pissed as you are right now.
âAnd you sure as hell did. I donât know what to tell you.â
You seethe. âFuck you. I donât bring âboysâ here. Mingyuâs my boyfriend,â You say, and to be petty, you add, âAs if youâve never ever brought girls here before?â
Jungkook looks at you instantly. âDonât you dare pin that on me. That was in the very first week that we lived together, mind you. But you told me how uncomfortable it made you feel and I thought about boundaries since then and never did it again. Why do you think I come over at their place instead of just hanging out here, huh, __? Even when we didnât verbally agree on not having sex around this place, I thought it would be a goddamn principle. Heck,â He looks somewhere and scoffs, âMingyu didnât even know Iâm your roommate. What did you tell him?â
You open your mouth to make a rebuttal, but nothing comes.
Because you realize in the middle of his outburst that⊠heâs right.
The first time that you saw a woman coming out of his own room and Jungkook noticing your discomfort about it, he just stopped doing his⊠thing in the apartment. It wasnât a verbal agreement, as per his words, but heâs right. It should have been a principle.
In the past two years you lived with each other â that was the only time he ever did it. It became an unspoken rule: donât bring your hook-ups here. But you never really had to worry about that unspoken rule because you didnât do one-night-stands often, and when you did hook up with people over the past two years, it was rare so it was easy to do it in their place.
It has become a norm for you that you donât see other people here anymore except for your friends when they invite themselves over â but you arenât aware that Jungkookâs apparently making an active choice to specifically not hook up in here this whole time.
Coupled with the fact that you didnât tell Mingyu about him being your roommate and him being caught up with your argument earlier â you feel a sense of guilt. A huge one at that.
But the stubborn part in you thinks that Mingyuâs different. Heâs not a mere hook-up. Heâs your boyfriend now! Couldnât that be an exemption to the rule thatâs unspoken in the first place?
âIâŠâ you trail off, scolding yourself internally for not forming a coherent thought faster than youâd like.
When you donât follow it up with anything, Jungkook takes his plate with him, turning on his heels away from you.
âSee you at work.â He says, but itâs sarcastic and clipped.
Jungkook leaves one piece of bread for you though â just like he always does. And you take that as a sign that heâs not all that mad at you.
⊠Maybe?
You stand there in the middle of your kitchen island like some stupid stoned individual, going over the things that happened for the past â what â twenty minutes? You donât even fucking know. Your wall clock in the living room had run out of battery, and your brain is too occupied with messy thoughts scattered all around you can feel a headache coming.
One thingâs for sure, though: youâre in the wrong. With Mingyu and with Jungkook. And you need to make it right somehow.
PART TWO | PART THREE
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#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#bts imagines#jungkook imagines#jungkook scenarios#bts angst#mingyu smut#mingyu fluff#mingyu angst#svt smut#svt x reader#bts x reader#fic: tlp#awrkive
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đđđâđ đđđđđ đđđ đđđđ đđ | J.JK
â part 1
â pairing | fem!oc x dealer!jjk
â summary | after a petty argument jungkook spots you showing out at a party with the hosts arm around your waist
â warning | bad writing (iâm doing my best)
unprotected sex, toxic fwb, lots cursing, jealousy, angst, ratchet behavior, dirty talk, angry sex, belittling, drinking, smokingđ, womanizer behavior, breeding kink, both đ©đ© , daddy kink, degrading, slapping (face), false accusations, double standards
â word count | 6.2k words
â song suggestion | love you like me â william singe
He was blocked once again.
He didnât even know for what this time.
Well, he had a good idea.
Running his mouth again. They always argued and he was always blocked and unblocked.
This time he think he actually irritated you.
âGoddamnit Y/n.â He cursed. He pissed you off once again but now his number and his Instagram was both blocked by you.
For some reason this time irked him more than the others.
âYouâre still stressing over that girl?â Jimin plopped on the couch next to him.
âI canât believe you still fuckin on her.â Taehyung walked in, taking a seat on the couch too.
âThatâs my girl yaâll know that.â Jungkook bit his lip, staring at his blank phone screen.
âYou need to get like how you used to. 3 or more at a time. Always.â Jimin spoke, âYou used to be like that. You used to make fun of guys like you. Now youâre giving out free shit to some girl.â
âI mean he does get pussy from it but like, only her bro?â Taehyung looked at Jungkook. âYou used to have all these girls on you. Stephanie, Nari, Seunghee, Belle, Maya⊠What happened to you man?â
Jungkook thought about what they said. âShits just different now.â
âOh my gosh sheâs ruined you.â Jimin groaned. âNah man. Weâre going to a Jackson party.â
âHeâs having a party?â Jungkook looked up from his phone. âWhy havenât I heard anything about it?â
âBecause youâre too busy stressinâ about some bitch.â Jimin shook his head.
Before Jungkook could correct him, Jimin corrected himself. âSome girl. Before you start.â
âAnyway, itâs tonight.â Taehyung spoke.
âSo bring whatever cash you got and weâre definitely gonna send you home with a girl or two.â Jimin swung his arm around his shoulder.
âOh shit I think sheâs posting about you Jeon!â Taehyung was on her phone, immediately making Jungkookâs head snap over.
âReally?!â
âNo man.â He laughed. âWe really gotta get you more girls. You need more pussy than just her.â
âYeah, no more Y/n.â Jimin shook his head.
âWhatever.â
àŒâ
âIâm so jealous.â Seungyeon swooned over the text messages on your phone.
âI donât see why. This looks annoying as hell.â Elkie rolled her eyes.
Jungkookđ
Wyd
Lemme come over
I got shit for you and your friends
Omg fucking answer
Youâre mad annoying
I ainât even mean what I said fr just reply đ
âI think itâs cute. And hilarious.â Seungyeon chuckled. âWhat made you block him this time?â
âHe was bragging about how many girls he sells to. How theyâre all pretty and thick as hell. So I just said âcoolâ and blocked him.â You shrugged.
You and your friends had been getting ready for hours for a Jackson Wang party they had personally been invited to.
âYou better not hope he doesnât pull up tonight.â Elkie spoke.
âYeah Y/n. Taehyungâs going and Iâm sure theyâll try to convince him.â Seungyeon told her.
âHeâs probably too busy getting high in his room.â Elkie replied. âOr selling in the east side.â
âWouldnât doubt it.â You shook your head. âI kinda do wish he would be there though.â
âIs his dick really that good?â Elkie asked you as she was baking her makeup.
âUnfortunately it is. Like, real good.â You started to get flashbacks.
âHere she goes.â Seungyeon rolled her eyes.
âHe fucks me sooo good yall donât get it.â You began. âEven though heâs annoying and shit Iâve never had dick like his. Once we started recording our shit I canât stop rewatching.â
âYou arenât worried heâll show people?â Elkie asked.
âTheyâre all on my phone. He only has a few. Even if he does show his homeboys itâs whatever. Heâs damn near louder than me anyway.â You told her.
Your phone went off, making you look over at it to see the notification.
kplugđ has added you on Snapchat
âOh my gosh.â You said out loud, immediately making the girls look over.
âHe fucking added you on Snapchat!â Elkie laughed out loud, âHeâs crazyâ
âAnd on his plug account?â Seungyeonâs eyes widened. âHeâs obsessed.âą
âWhat can I say? This pussy makes him insane.â You jokingly boasted.
âDid you add him back?â Seungyeon asked.
âNah not yet. Iâll wait until Iâm almost done getting ready.â You tossed your phone on your bed.
âYeah thatâll be better.â Elkie nodded.
âUgh I need to hurry anyway. Iâm tryna look good tonight.â You groaned, looking at your barely half done makeup.
No matter what it was, you loved to look good. You were a confident woman who took pride in her appearance.
Tonight mattered. You hadnât took good pictures in quite some time and Jacksonâs party was the best place to take them at.
You had just changed up your hair last night. You had a brown base with blonde highlights. And for tonight you decided to add gold and bronze tinsel to elevate your look.
Your friends always had the same energy, wanting to look as good as they could even if it was a simple occasion.
Seungyeon and Elkie definitely showed out with you tonight.
You all had skimpier outfits on tonight. You were a low cut brown latex top with a matching black mini skirt.
Your heels were black and the strings wrapped up around your mid calf. You sprayed your expensive perfume all over, making sure you smelt as good as you looked.
Your makeup was finally done for the night and it couldnât have looked better. You looked incredible.
The girls had taken some pre party pics in your room, posting on all social media.
âOh Y/n! Add him back.â Seungyeon told you.
You nodded, adding Jungkook back on Snapchat.
âHeâs gonna see all our videos at the party. Heâs gonna regret saying all that shit to you.â Elkie laughed. âGonna see so many dudes all up on you and start punching walls and shit.â
âHe probably already is and we havenât even left the house yet.â Seungyeon laughed with her. âThe pictures we posted right now are enough to make him tear his hair out.â
âDamn right.â You giggled. âYall got everything? Iâm about to order the Uber.â
Both girls nodded, making sure they had everything they needed.
kplugđ just sent you a snap
You looked at the notification, âHm.â You hummed to yourself, not opening his snap quite yet.
Once the uber pulled up all of the girls climbed in, taking more pictures in the backseat on the drive there.
You lived in a nice area, but nothing compared to Jacksonâs place.
The location was one of his many homes,
âJackson lives so far from us.â Elkie looked at the map on her phone.
âYeah but his area is so nice. Itâs worth it.â Seungyeon added. âI wonder how many people are gonna be there.â
âGirl you know itâs gonna be so packed we gonna have to get dropped off damn near a mile away.â You laughed.
âYou better hope Jungkook doesnât show up.â Elkie looked over at you, who was just opening his snap.
The snap was him a car, sitting in a car full of tackily dressed women right corner of him. One of the girls was taking the picture for him.
âI shouldâve just shut up.â Elkie covered her mouth. âTheyâre definitely going.â
âHeâs petty as hell!â Seungyeon looked over at your screen. âWhat does he expect you to say to that?â
âProbably nothing.â Y/n turned off the phone. âHe wants to be like that he can go right ahead.â
âYouâre so cool about it.â Seungyeon looked at her in amazement. âI wouldâve went batshit crazy.â
âIâm not trippin because Iâm not holding back at this party.â She laughed.
àŒâ
âWhy would you guys do me like this?â
âYouâre so dramatic.â Jimin rolled his eyes. âWe found you a car full of girls to take to the party and youâre complaining.â
âDidnât ask for it. Yâall make me look like a charity case. I couldâve gotten plenty at Jacksonâs.â
âWhatever.â Taehyung rolled his eyes. âYou know how much play sheâs gonna get there? And youâre gonna have to watch it alllll.â
âYeah man. Youâre gonna have to watch all sorts of dudes kissing up on her and shit. Youâre gonna look like a bitch.â Jimin added.
âExactly. So let us help you bro.â Taehyung smiled. âCome on itâll be worth it. Plus, you look great man. Sheâll be unblocking you in no time.â
Jungkook and the boys got in the car full of women, instantly leeching onto them.
âHello ladiesâ Jimin greeted, buckling up.
âHiii Jiminnnâ They replied in union, almost fighting to talk to him.
One of them turned to Jungkook, immediately biting her lip. âHey Kookie.â
âHey Oliver.â He exhaled.
âItâs Oliviaâ She laughed. âYouâre likeâ so funny!â Her annoying voice rang in his ears.
âOhâ my bad.â
The girls had tried talking Jungkook the entire ride there, trying to get him to open up and talk to them.
âOuuu look at his phone.â One of the girls motioned.
âOmg look!â One was quick to snatch his phone, âHe added Y/n on Snapchat, letâs send her something!â
âYou guys should!â Taehyung added.
âNo one needs to do that!â Jungkook tried to take it back but they already snapped pictures and sent them to Y/n on his phone.
Olivia passed the phone to Taehyung who kept repeating âgive it to meâ
âTaehyung what the hell!â
âItâs for your own good!â Taehyung held onto his phone for the rest of the ride there.
àŒâ
âYep. Iâm definitely gonna get sloppy drunk.â Seungyeon announced as they walked inside Jacksonâs party.
âThereâs no way you wonât. This shits fucking cool.â Elkie looked around the home.
âšPeople everywhere and the music was booming in all corners. Girls dancing damn near naked on tables and guys dancing around with empty shot glasses.
âOh my gosh theyâre here!â One of the guys accidentally said a bit too loud, making some heads turn towards the girls.
âSeungyeon come dance with us!â
âY/n come on we already have shots for you!â
âElkie come get on the table with us!â
Multiple people were trying to holler at them in attempt to get their attention.
âYeah itâll be hard to stay sober tonight.â Elkie laughed.
âUh huh. And when Taehyung gets here Iâm dipping.â Seungyeon giggled.
âYouâre still fucking with him?!â Both girls snapped their heads.
âYâall donât get it! He is soooo fine whenever he talks to me I just wanna do whatever the hell he wants.â Seungyeon swooned.
âShe canât be serious.â Elkie looked at you. âSo let me get this straight. Youâre fucking on Taehyung and youâre fucking on Jungkook. Should I just dance with Jimin tonight? Since weâre the three musketeers all of a sudden.â
âOkay Jungkook was an accident!â You defended. âYou wanted weed didnât you!â
âCut the crap! It was one timeâ Elkie shook her head. âI canât believe you two.â
âWhatever.â Seungyeon rolled her eyes. âYou should go with me when I go talk to Taehyung. Omg! We can all hang out tonight!â
âUh, did you forget weâre not on the best terms?â You interrupted her fantasy.
âYou never are. Get over it.â Seungyeon rolled her eyes. âElkie pleaseeee.â
âI canât believe you.â Elkie kept shaking her head. âYou guys are sick.â
âWhoâs sick?â A voice interrupted them. âI donât need any illness spreading around at my party.â
âOmg Jackson!â Seungyeon gasped.
âHey ladies. Hey Y/n.â He gave you a side hug. âI knew you guys would come showing out.â
âAlways. You know us.â Elkie giggled.
Jackson knew the girls very well. Theyâve been around since his early party days, helping him promote and build up his status for the parties.
You always went above and beyond for him, offering to even financially support the parties during the time.
Now Jackson was so rich his party budget skyrocketed. All because of those girls he was able to be where he was now. He was more than grateful.
âI know. I shouldnât have expected any less.â He chuckled, âIâll tell the security upstairs about yall so donât sweat anything okay?â
âYou got new security?â You questioned him.
âFuck yeah I did. Last party the security was too drunk to even do their fucking job. I was pissed.â Jackson shook his head.
âEverythingâs all good now though,â He continued. âGotta nice new set up and itâll do yâall real good. I promise you wonât be disappointed. You ladies have fun, okay?â
âThank you Jackson.â The three girls bid their goodbyes. They didnât expect to speak to him for long, especially since he was running a huge party.
âLetâs hang out down here for a bit and then make our way up yeah?â You suggested, earning a nod from the girls.
âUnless itâs too hard for Seungyeon to keep herself away from Taehyungieâ Elkie teased her.
âOh my gosh I hate you.â Seungyeon groaned.
âSpeaking of Taehyungie,â You eyes behind her. âHere comes the man of the hour now.â
âWith a shit ton of girls at that.â
Seungyeon snapped her head his way. âOh my gosh.â
âDonât look!â Elkie turned her attention. âAct unbothered. You canât let him know you care. Like Y/n when Jungkook calls!â
âYeahâ Okay whatever.â You rolled your eyes. âBut sheâs right. Heâs with hella girls. Heâs not thinking about you right now. You canât act like youâre waiting for him.â
âLook at you miss love expert.â Elkie teased you. âLetâs get you drinking Seungyeon.â
âYes! Letâs drink! Finally.â You clapped your hands.
The girls walked off to the bar, plenty of people wanting to take shots with them.
The girls played a few drinking games and partied on tables just like the girls before you.
It would be a lie to say Jungkookâs eyes werenât locked on you.
It was just him, Taehyung, and Jungkook in their own little section, a few guys coming up to talk to them here and there.
âOh my gosh I hate you guys.â Jimin groaned. âTaehyung you canât do this to me too.â
âSheâs so bad Jimin. Iâm almost as bad as Jeon.â Taehyung stared down Seungyeon.
âI thought you wanted to drown yourself in pussy! You were hyping me and Jungkook up earlier!â
âIâm a big fat liar okay!â Taehyung folded.
Seungyeon and you were both dancing on tables, lost in your own little world with drinks in your hands.
Jungkook hadnât said anything in a minute. Simply staring.
Damn did you show out.
He watched as many guys threw themselves at you, begging you to come down so they could have a piece.
What could he expect? You were a beautiful woman blessed with a body others would pay millions for. You could actually dance and you had looks that could kill.
You were a heavily desirable woman. Especially at a party like this where everyone knew of you.
He knew you werenât gonna go home with any of these guys. None of them stood a chance.
He didnât understand how he had one if he was honest.
The way you two startedâ having intercourse was wild and random. Just a random string of flirty led to you giving it up for him.
Goddamnit he missed you. It was a petty argument like usual. Him getting blocked just to get unblocked in the morning.
This time bothered him more than the others. Especially seeing you like this.
âShoutout to these lovely ladies right here!â Jackson suddenly announced, all three girls surrounding him.
âMy day ones right hereâ He said proudly.
Jackson wrapped his arm around your waist, pecking your cheek.
Interesting.
Jungkook hadnât realized you two had become so close.
Was he the reason Jungkook wasnât unblocked yet?
âEspecially Ms. Y/n here. Shit would not be possible without her.â He spoke, making everyone cheer. âEveryone treat them well tonight alright?â
Elkie and Seungyeon cheered before Jackson walked off, finishing his announcement.
Why would it not be possible without you?
None of it made sense to Jungkook.
He downed a shot, hissing at the aftermath. It made Jimin look over.
âSomeoneâs mad.â
âShut up.â Jungkook huffed. âI have no reason to be.â
The girls were laughing together and drinking a bit more.
Seungyeon kept stealing glances at Taehyung.
âOh my gosh. Sheâs going insane.â Elkie pointed out Seungyeonâs constant tabs on Taehyung.
âAlright weâre going upstairs.â You motioned both girls to follow you to the next story.
âJimin we have to follow them.â Taehyung watched as they left to go upstairs.
The man rolled his eyes.
Jungkook looked over, seeing Jackson look over that way too.
âYeah.â Jungkook opened up his mouth. âLetâs go.â
The boys shortly followed them, heading upstairs.
This level was just as intense as the first floor. The only difference was that these people smoked a bit more than they drank.
âSo many bad bitches in here.â Jimin looked around. âNice move Tae.â
âMan who cares? Where the hell is she?â Taehyung looked over.
âGoddamnit.â Jimin cursed, forced to walk over to your friend group with Taehyung.
Jungkook wasnât too thrilled either. Especially because he didnât know how you were going to be like.
âHey Seungyeon.â Taehyung approached her, making her instantly turn her head.
Poor girl had been waiting for that man to talk to her all night.
âOh. Hey.â She kept it short, just like you and Elkie told her to.
âLet me get you and your girl friends some more drinks yeah?â He offered, making it harder to fight and say no.
âPlease.â She caved in, making everyone follow them to the bar.
âFucking great.â Jimin mumbled.
âšIt was awkward as hell. Two odd couples and two random friends all forced to hang out together.
All because of Seungyeon and Taehyung.
Taehyung got all of them drinks like he said, everyone drinking together to ease up a bit.
Taehyung and Seungyeon were lost in their own conversation.
They were so corny it was making everyone extremely nauseous.
âAre you proud of her?â Jimin shook his head, speaking to Elkie. âYour friend single-handedly ruined my friend group.â
âMy friend? Your boy here started it all.â She argued.
âLike hell he did. She took advantage of him.â He told her.
She laughed. âWhoâs the one whoâs supposed to just drop the shit off and go?â
âYou canât blame a man for just tryna get some.â Jimin shrugged. âNot his fault.â
âYouâre delusional.â Elkie rolled her eyes.
âI like how you speak to me. You wanna go make out?â
âSure.â Elkie shrugged, walking off with Jimin.
Youâve got to be kidding me.
You were alone with Jungkook.
âSo,â You began to speak. âWhich girl in the car was your favorite?â
âIs that seriously how youâre gonna start this?â Jungkook stared you down.
âHell yeah.â You chuckled. âYouâre a fucking prick. Youâre childish and youâre just down right stupid. Sending me some photo of some bitches. Made you feel so good being with other girls huh?â
Started off strong already.
âYou know what, it did. They didnât have a fucking loud mouth like you do. Didnât have to hear a bunch of bullshit every two seconds.â
âSee this is exactly why youâre blocked.â You scoffed. âYouâre a dick.â
âYou block me all the time mama.â He shrugged nonchalantly. âDoesnât mean shit.â
âProbably doesnât mean anything because youâre too busy with all those other bitches.â
âMe? Iâm not the one fucking the party host.â He argued back.
Your eyes widened at the accusation. âOh wow.â
You werenât going to deny it.
It wasnât true. You never slept with Jackson.
But Jungkook thinking that you did was enough to satisfy you.
âWeâll come back to that.â Jungkook poked the inside of his mouth with his tongue.
He was obviously very irritated.
âYouâre always so angry.â You groaned.
âBecause you just manage to strike that one nerve.â He shook his head.
âYouâre so aggressive all the time baby.â You eased him. âLetâs drink some more. Please?â
He shook his head. âTrying to sober up. Someone needs to take you home.â
âI can Uber back.â
âBy yourself?â He scoffed. âFuck no. Your friends are long gone and most likely gonna end up going home with Jimin and Tae. Who canât drive.â
He wasnât wrong.
Elkie and Seungyeon were going to town on them. The couples were drunken messes.
You agreed, continuing to drink. You two talked for a bit, somewhat civilly.
The both of you couldnât help but check each other out.
For you, that alcohol came in through your mouth and went straight to your pussy.
Jungkookâs going straight to his dick. Probably why you two always had sex whenever you hung out.
âLetâs go to Jiminâs car.â Jungkook mumbled lowly to you, making you nod.
Jungkook lets out a low whistle as you walk next to him. He couldn't help but stare at your body.
You were so fucking beautiful, he thought to himself.
The car was a bit far from the entrance. The lot was big so the parking was a bit inconvenient.
However, it was hidden well enough.
He opened the backseat car door for you, waiting for you to get in.
You could sense he was still irritated with you. It was written all over his face and you could sense it in his body language.
His anger and irritation had the opposite effect on you, making your pussy wetter than it already was.
Jungkook started the car, letting out a heavy sigh as he pulled out of the parking lot.
He glanced over at you, his eyes scanning over your body. "You know, you make me so fucking angry sometimes..." He growled, his hand reaching over to grab your thigh.
âItâs not my fault. You started it this time.â You shook your head.
"I didn't start shit," Jungkook retorted, his eyes narrowing at you. "You did. You always fucking do."
He couldn't help but get more and more irritated with you.
The idea of you and Jackson weighed heavy on him.
You were fucking Jungkook for weed. Were you fucking Jackson for drinks and party invites?
âYou did last night. Thatâs exactly why I blocked your ass. Always running your mouth.â
Jungkook's fingers tightened around the steering wheel. He couldn't believe you just said that. "You didn't have to block me. Youâre so fucking dramatic."
He snapped at you, his anger getting the best of him. "I fucking hate you sometimes."
âFine. Just drop me off right here then.â You replied, just as irritated with him now. âIâll fucking walk home.â
âYou're not fucking walking anywhere. I'll take you home." He gritted his teeth.
âWhatever. Just drive me home and you can just get rid of me after. Since thatâs what you want so bad.â You folded your arms.
He couldn't believe how much of a stubborn girl you were, but he still couldn't help feeling attracted to you. Even when you were like this. "Why are you so fucking difficult?"
He glared at you for a moment before turning his attention back to the road.
âIâm not even doing anything.â You grabbed your purse once he pulled up to your place.
It was natural for Jungkook to let himself in. He did so again, despite their arguing.
âI thought you would approach me at the party to apologize. But no, youâre just arguing with me because youâre jealous of some guy!â You huffed.
Jungkook scoffed at your words. "Jealous? Fuck no. I just don't like seeing you with other guys, that's it."
âYeah whatever.â You rolled your eyes, âYouâre annoying. Your stupid pride wonât let you just admit it.â
You lifted up the couch cushion, a small bag of pre rolls packed away.
âYou know what? Fine. I was jealous when I saw you with Jackson. Are you happy now? I fucking admitted it.
âGonna fucking smoke with me or what?â She looked at him, ignoring him. âGot your two favorite things right here. Weed and arguing.â
He ignored her, grabbing his own preroll and lighting it up with her lighter.
âThatâs all youâre gonna say?â He scoffed.
âDo you want a fucking cookie? Congrats, you actually told me the truth for once.â She took a few hits. âSo you were jealousâ
âYeah, I fucking was. I don't like seeing you with other guys Y/n. It makes me want to rip their fucking heads off." He chuckled and shook his head. "Especially him.â
âIsnât Jackson your homeboy?â
âExactly. Why the fuck would I want to be fucking on the same girl as my bro? That makes me look like a fucking loser.â He glared at you.
âWe were just catching up. Weâve known each other for mad long.â You defended.
Jungkook couldn't help but stare at you as you took a hit from the roll. He felt a surge of jealousy, but he tried to push it down.
"Just fucking catchin' up huh? With his bitch ass?" He chuckled and shook his head. "I know what kinda guy he is.â
âI know youâre not talking. Tell me, Jungkook. How many girls do you sell to that donât pay cash? Too busy selling with their bodies.â She looked at him.
âYeah? Youâre gonna fucking start this shit again?â He chuckled, anger written all over his face. âIâve told you the same shit over and over Y/n. Iâm not fucking anyone else but you.â
âCar full of sleezy bitches all climbing on you? Yeah okay. Find that fucking hard to believe.
Jungkook understands your skepticism. Especially with the type of guys he hung around.
âTell me this Jungkook.â You began, âHow come itâs an issue when Iâm with Jackson but when youâre with all these other girls Iâm just supposed to believe you.â
Jungkook leaned in, his expression more serious now. He muttered. âI donât want to do you like that.â
"I just get fucking pissed when I see other guys trying to fuck what's mine." He cocked his eyebrow.
âYouâre annoying.â
Jungkook's gaze never left yours face as you rolled your eyes. He could tell you were irritated with him, but he didn't back down.
"I'm annoying cause I don't like seeing other guys around my girl?" He raised an eyebrow.
âDonât like all these fucking guys tryna hop on you.â His eyes darkened as he stared down at you.
âI get it.â She sighed.
âMm I donât think you do.â He shook his head.
Jungkook turned you around, pushing you against the couch. "Fuck you piss me off. Youâre just so fucking sexy" He growled, pinning your hands above your head.
"You're gonna let me fuck you like this?â He looked at you. âBecause Iâm fucking angry. And Iâm not sure Iâll be able to give you that slow and lovey shit right now.â
You simply nodded. You swallowed hard, knowing exactly what was going to happen.
Weed made you horny.
Alcohol made you horny.
And you were definitely cross faded.
âFucking open your mouth.â He moved his hand, now slapping you across your cheek.
It wasnât enough to really hurt, but enough to leave a sting.
He seen your facial expression change. âNo way. You actually like that shit?â
You two always had rough and angry sex. With the amount of times you two pissed each other off, it was like second nature.
This time was different. Jungkook was livid.
âI do.â You swallowed. âN-No condom tonight please.â
This was the first time ever. You never thought those words would ever leave your lips.
You needed it bad tonight. Real bad.
âOh wow.â He laughed sarcastically. âYouâre that sick? You get onto me every fucking day for asking to hit it raw. Now you want to?â
He almost couldnât believe it. âLetting me toss you around like a fucking ragdoll. He fucking teach you about that shit?â
âN-No Jungkook.â
He slapped you once again. âDonât fucking lie to me.â
âI promise. He didnât.â You pleaded.
Jungkook let out a deep breath, knowing you submitted to him.
He moved his hand to your neck, squeezing enough for you to feel.
âFucking embarrassing me.â He slid his pants down. âGot all my fucking friends talking about you. That what you wanted?â
âN-No.â You swallowed.
He slipped your skirt up, sliding your panties to the side.
He forcefully pushed himself inside, giving you not a single warning. âYou let him fuck you raw did you?â
Staying still for a moment, knowing he would soon start fucking you with all the frustration he had in him.
âN-No I didnât Jungkook.â You honestly replied.
âNot my fucking name.â He warned.
âYou clearly wanted his attention Y/n. You think I ainât notice that shit today?â His grip on your neck got slightly tighter.
âChanged your hair. Spending money to look good for him. Didnât look in my fucking direction once. Get some new dick and you forget what you already have? Forgot about daddyâs dick?â He scoffed.
Jungkook's thrusts became more powerful, as he let out all the anger and jealousy he felt towards Jackson.
âT-Thatâs not what Iââ
Jungkook's grip tightened on your hips, as he started thrusting. "Shut the fuck up Y/n." He grumbled, as he started pounding harder.
He smacked your ass, leaving a red mark. "Didnât think youâd be this fuckinâ tight. Figured he stretched this pussy out.â
âH-He didnâtâ
âYou really have the fucking guys to speak to me right now?â He slapped her.
âMmphâ sorry daddyâ
Jungkook grinned, hearing the slight tremble in your voice.
You couldnât help but be turned on by how angry he was. How degrading he spoke to you.
Him expressing how jealous he was of Jackson definitely did a number on you.
"This.. is all yours, Y/n. It always has been." He slapped your face. "Don't.. you dare fuckin' look at him again. Donât you fuckinâ
dare question if Iâm with other bitches or not.â
âWonâtâ promise Daddyâ She apologized.
Jungkook's expression changed to an angered confusion, as you apologized. "Sorry? You think.. You fuckin' deserve my mercy?"
He hissed as he stopped thrusting, grabbed you and forced you on all four. "I'll show you fuckin' sorry."
âYou're mine to fuck. Mine to spoil. Mine to hug. Mine to love.â He grabbed your hair and pulled it back, as he started thrusting hard again. "And you just fucking gave that away?â
âNo Iâ Daddy no I didnât.â You whimpered.
Jungkook's thrusts became more violent as his anger continued to fuckin boil. "You.. You fuckin' slut," He growled and smacked your ass hard once again.
âD-Didnât fuck him.â You confessed, swallowing. âN-Never fucked him.â
Jungkook stopped thrusting, his expression was furious, he looked at you with pure shock.
"You didn't fuck him?" He repeated between gritted teeth, not entirely sure if he should believe you or not. âAre you serious?â
âN-Never fucked him.â She hit her lip.
âSo you lied?â His voice was low.
âI just never denied anything you said.â She confessed, a bit ashamed now that she was confessing out loud.
"Wow Y/n." He murmured lowly, making a pause in his thrusts, as he looked at you with confusion and shock. "And you made me do all this.â
âI-â She felt her stomach drop.
Jungkook scoffed and shook his head in disbelief. He was still holding you by the throat, a little tighter now as his cock started to thrust intensely again. "Yeah, you did.â
Jungkook grunted, his thrusts became louder and more intense, holding you tighter. "You're a fucking slut.."
He whispered in a low voice, his hand starting to squeeze around your throat. He pulled himself out a bit to slap your face.
âPulled all that just for some dick? Seriously Y/n?â He grunted into your ear.
âSo sorry Daddyâ She apologized softly, the sensual nickname slipping from her lips.
Upon hearing you call him "Daddy" his thrusts became more intense. Hearing it made him weak everytime.
A low growl sounded out from his throat again as your body was pushed back onto the bed with each thrust deeper into you.
He snickered, his hand reaching down to slap your ass cheek, hard. "You're a fucking whore.." He moans, his thrusts are so hard that he's smacking against your body. He leaned in to bite your neck.
âFinally got the dick you wanted? I canât fucking believe you pulled that shit.â He grunted, utterly shocked. âCanât fucking believe you did that.â
His thrusts became even more forceful, each hard smack against your ass echoing around you.
He moans as he bites into your shoulder, teeth grinding into your skin angrily. "Why'd you fucking lie to me?" He growls into your ear.
âWanted youâ Wanted your attention.â She whimpered. âWanted to see how you felt.â
âYeah? Thatâs how you fuckinâ wanted me to confess?â He roars out angrily, his grip tightening almost painfully.
âI-It workedâŠâ She boldly whispered.
His glare is fire as he grabs your throat, pulling you back to look into your eyes.
"You like it when I get tell you how I feel? You fuckinâ like it?â He growls out, squeezing your throat tighter for a moment before letting go.
âI liked it Daddyâ She bit her lip.
His jaw almost cracks from the intensity of his teeth grinding as he hears your response.
He begins to fuck you harder, losing his anger and going into a frenzy. "Youâre so fucking lucky I love to abuse this pussy.â
âShit feels so fuckinâ good Daddyâ Fuckâ She cursed repeatedly.
A low groan rips from his throat, feeling your walls squeezing around him at your curse. He liked when you talked dirty. âSo fucking pretty like this.â
âLying about other dudes is different for you baby..â He huffed. âYou love this dick huh baby? Tell me.â
âYes Daddyâ I fuckinâ do.â You nodded quickly.
He leans back down, biting at your bottom lip and nodding.
"That's right, you love this dick, mama. Fucking take it then." He spoke lowly, encouraging you to get more vocal and naughty while he pounds into you.
âFeels so much fucking better raw.â She rolled her eyes back. âShouldâve fucking let you months ago.â
He lets out a growl, feeling how tight your walls are on him with no condom. He nods, agreeing and liking the feeling of you raw.
"That's right mama. You ainât believe me when I said you were the only one. Shouldâve been let me hit it raw.â He chuckled. âGonna fuck you so good now though."
He's on the brink of losing it, he knows he's about to cum soon.
He looks down at you whoâs absolutely fucked dumb on his cock.
He curses, slowing down just a tad. "You fucking loving that we're doing it raw now?â
âFeels so much fucking better now. W-Want you to cum inside too.â You begged, making his eyes widened.
âAre you serious?â
âW-Want it so bad Iâ Please.â
He groans, loving the idea at your request. âPretty girl gonna let me cum inside, I couldnât ask for more.â
He speeds up a little bit, slamming into you roughly and grunting. "That's right, fucking want my cum? Wanna turn mama into more than just a nickname huh?â
He dirty talked her so good.
âMm yes Daddy yes.â She swallowed.
His eyes grow wide at the idea but he smirks while he continues to thrust into you hard, making a dirty scene in his head.
"That's right, I wanna fill your womb up with my kids, make them from your tight fucking pussy, don't fight it mama. So closeâ He mumbled in her ear.
âShit Iâm close too.â
He knows he's close too, groaning almost in pain from not cumming yet. He continues to fuck you relentlessly as you near the edge.
"Shit! Cum on my cock mama, you need to cum, you want to cum so bad don't you?"
âCumming fuckâ She immediately let go of the feeling building up in her stomach.
He's right on the edge with you, his cock swells up before he pulls out and shoots his hot load to the side of your stomach, he's not ready for kids, at least not yet.
He slumps backwards and curses. "Fucking shit.â
The two were panting on the couch, struggling to catch their breaths.
She panted. âIâm sorry for lying Jungkook. It was wrong of me to lie to you.â
He smirks and shakes his head but still looks at you with an amused expression.
"No need to apologize momma, we're fucking both dirty. Besides we both liked it didn't we?" He winks and wraps an arm around you.
âYouâre really not mad?â
âI mean it irritated me a lot when I thought you fucked him.â He sighed. âIâm just relieved now.â
âWhen I told you I havenât been with anyone else I meant it.â You told him. âThatâs not
something I would lie about. Especially after I pressed you for so long.â
âI know. When I seen him touch you like that I justâ I thought I lost you.â He looked at you. âI just kinda thought you were using me.â
âItâs not about weed for me anymore Jungkook.â You swallowed. âIt hasnât been for a while.â
âIt was never about the weed for me.â He confessed. âI just wanted to see you since the beginning.â
âYou thought that was a secret?â You couldnât help but snort.
âOkay Iâm never being vulnerable with you again.â He shook his head.
#jimin and jungkook#bts smut#jungkook#jungkook smut#bts jimin#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fic recs#jeon jungkook#jimin angst#jimin#kim taehyung#taehyung#bts pjm#bts jungkook#bts army#jungkook fiction#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook fluff#jeon jungkoooook#jjk spoilers#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk fluff#jjk fanart#jjk#jeongguk x reader#jeongguk smut#jeon jeongguk
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Adam x Reader General Hcs
HAD TO WRITE SOMETHING FOR HIM HES JUST SO. AUGAHGEHEG. i love him. characterizing him is so fun, but so challenging at the same time.
đ„ Cw: adam being adam, sfw + nsfw hcs, smut, breeding kink
đ„minors dni with the nsfw portion
sfw:
Adam is more prone to casual flings and hookups, hes def not huge on relationships and longterm partners
this means that if your with him, you must be pretty special bc hes a huge ass handful
while he is a pretty big douche, adam is definitely loyal imo
deep down, hes still pretty insecure about both lilith and eve, and im a firm believer that he would never cheat on a partner if he was in a serious relationship
adam comes up with very.... interesting nicknames for you that are 10x more vulgar than the ones he uses for everyone else
hes HUGE on nicknames and petnames in general, at the start of a relationship theyre pretty crude and flirty but over time they start to become sweeter
sugartits, doll, sweet cheeks, bitch boy/babe, babycakes, BAE, lemondrop (idk it just fits), mama/mami, honeytits, honestly anything that comes to mind
adam likes to put "my" in front of most of your petnames, its not so much in a possessive way, moreso in a bragging way, he just loves telling the world that your HIS
he also definitely calls you bro, brah, dude, etc he doesn't care that it "doesnt sound romantic" đ
adam finds the MOST unhinged things hilarious, hes the type to watch those ten hour long youtube videos of a spinning potato chip and laugh every ten seconds
speaking of, he has one of those loud, booming laughs with a slight wheeze to it
"BAAHAHAHAHAH BAE COME HERE LOOK AT THIS HAHA" and its just a low quality video of a water bottle falling over???
100% a shitty pickup line user
and also a shitty flirter in general
his flirting is just
obnoxious
adam is very proud of you, when the two of you officially got together he probably called half of heaven to announce that you two were dating
"THATS MY PARTNERâŒïžâŒïžâŒïž" type of vibes
adam acts like he isnt big on cuddles bit is secretly the clingiest, most touch starved person alive
PLEASE let him hold you, this man is tall af and loves just swallowing you in an embrace
when he was "courting" you (irritating you constantly and flirting with you obnoxiously until you caught on that he was serious) the biggest tell that his feelings were genuine was the amount of physical contact he initiated
adam was always leaning on you, throwing an arm over your shoulder, resting a hand on your thigh, hooking his arm through yours, overall invading your personal space
he was incredibly happy to FINALLY be able to cuddle with you when you both got together, and HAS to fall asleep touching you in some way every night
adam is almost always wearing his exterminator helmet, but he really likes it when you take it off for him at the end of the day. even he doesn't really understand why, but there's something so intimate to him about the fact that you love his real face more than the persona he puts on
he would rather die than admit it tho
hes not good at words or communication in general, and prefers to express his appreciation through actions
he brings you foods that he knows you like on days where you're especially busy, he gives you song recommendations that he'll think you'll like, he'll buy you a trinket he saw you eyeing at the store, just tiny things like that
adam genuinely does care about you, but as per his usual adam-ness, he would rather go bald than live up to that đ
nsfw:
you cant tell me this man isnt kinky as shit
hes tried pretty much everything
HE LOVES TO HIT FROM THE BACK, DEF LIKES DOGGY STYLE
i also think he would like the mating press too, getting to watch your face as he wrecks you while also having the opportunity to leave bites all over your thighs, and feel them tremble as he fucks you? sign him up!
his dick is big big
i think hed be a little thicker than average, with a few veins running up the underside, but its his length that's downright heavenly
adam keeps himself pretty well groomed, but has a prominent happy trail and light fuzz at the very base of his cock
listen, this is the first man we're talking about, he KNOWS what hes doing
whether you're male or female, he will go down on you
once he buries himself between your thighs youre done for, adam barely comes up for air as he devours you
hes def sloppy w it too, loves when you cum on his face so he can lick it up
enjoys it when you return the favor as well, i actually think hed really realy like receiving head
would def fuck your face until your drooling
if you hve an oral fixation, you're in luck bc he LOVES watching you suck his dick, his fingers, anything really
adam always makes you lick and suck his fingers before fingering you, and will sometimes trigger your gag reflex by shoving them down your throat to watch you gasp and whine
adam has STAMINA, expect to stay up all night bc this man will stop at nothing to make sure you're both satisfied
i swear this man is built to breed, he has a HUGE breeding kink and goes crazy at the sight of his cum dripping from your hole. even if it's physically impossible for you to get pregnant, adam still babbles about "fucking a prety little babe" into you when he cums
adam likes using plugs to make sure his cum stays inside you, he'll also finger it back inside and loves smearing his cum on your thighs and ass
he also brings his fingers up to your face and has you lick the cum off of them
LOOOVEEEESSS marking you, by the end of the night youre always covered in bruises and scratches and hickeys galore
i love adam guys yes ik hes a douche but hes my douche <3
i wish i characterized him better but whateverrrrrr i dont want to write him as a total asshole but hes def not an angel either (haha im so funnyđ)
#hazbin hotel adam#adam x reader#adam x you#adam smut#adam fluff#hazbin adam#hazbin hotel adam x reader#hazbin hotel smut#hazbin hotel x reader#hasbin hotel#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel fanfiction#hazbin hotel x y/n#lute#hazbin hotel#hazbin#i love him your honor#i could fix him
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the Forbidden fruit
NSFW: headcanons about your sex life. hazbin hotel Adam x fem!reader That feeling when my drafts are almost halfway through the smut with Adam that I wanted to write, but at the last minute I stopped liking that text, so I switched to something else. Everything is (not) good. I wrote this text while listening to Landon Tewers - She Thinks of Me. the meaning of the song is not at all important and has nothing to do with the lyrics, I just liked the melody.
Adam has beautiful hands. Aesthetic. When he takes off his clothes and folds his arms across his chest, rests them on a surface, or carries heavy objects, his veins appear.
His fingers are thin and well-groomed, long, like those of a pianist, which Adam never was.
Just imagine the contrast it has on you during sex. His rough, sometimes wild, character and gentle movements of his hands that slide over your entire body while he whispers all sorts of dirty things in your ear. Imagine those hands touching your hips, squeezing your skin gently but noticeably to make you feel excited and excited, and then with a knee-baring grin, he leaves you unsatisfied.
Adam can and loves to tease. His hands pass dangerously close to your sensitive places, and his words are full of subtext and hints, which are sometimes not covered at all. And because many are accustomed to the character of Adam, who speaks complete nonsense, no one pays attention to the fact that Adam literally said that he would fuck you against that wall before entering heaven.
Adam sure has a sexy morning voice. He can lie on his back, finally finding a comfortable position without his wings getting in the way, one of his arms wedged under your body and resting on your side. He brushes the hair that is falling into his face back before turning his head in your direction. A smirk graces Adamâs face as he rolls onto his side and pulls you closer to him, allowing your two hot bodies to grind against each other. Adam wakes you up with a kiss behind your ear, slowly lowers himself to your neck and whispers some nonsense to you, but you donât wake up or pretend to be asleep, he takes it as a challenge and the hand from your hip slowly slides down, straight into yours underpants.
Adam likes the cowgirl position when he's too tired but still wants you. This gives you both an imaginary sense of control: you control the speed of the process, Adam controls the movement of your hips.
He likes to look at your hips and butt, whether in tight pants/high-waisted shorts or skirts/dresses that contour your figure. Adam basically likes to look at you in tight clothes, style doesn't matter as long as you like it. Besides that, he likes to see his dick penetrate your body slowly or quickly (well, I mean, he likes to watch your pussy swallow his dick, let's be honest). He loves watching your breasts bounce rhythmically as you move. He loves the feeling of your fingers on his chest as you lean against him, finding a comfortable position.
If you don't mind having Adam's dick in you without having sex, then please allow him. He is overwhelmed by a feeling of unity that has not visited him since the time of Lilith and Eve.
Not against quick sex (or blowjob).
Speaking of fetishes, Adam loves creampies and he doesnât hide the fact that heâs flattered by the idea of ââimpregnating you. And the latter is not so much a fetish as his sacred duty, because he seemed to be created for this? First man, first man and all that. However, if you can't get pregnant (or it's your mutual desire not to have children due to your lifestyle), he still loves creampies.
Adam loves to leave his marks on you: hickeys and bites, especially on your neck, arms, collarbones, chest, hips... In general, wherever he can reach with his mouth and lips. Adam likes to do this not only because he finds it sexy, but because of his insecurity. He had two wives who went to a dwarf duck! Somewhere in the subcortex of consciousness, Adam wants every living and dead soul to see that you are already busy with him and minding your own business.
Adam will probably let you do anything (within reason and as long as he feels like he's in a dominant position) if you praise him during sex or tell him you wouldn't choose anyone else over him. This will upset him.
I'm not sure exactly what word is supposed to mean what I'm about to say next (at least I've seen it called "happy way", but I can't be sure), but Adam has a faint trail of hair from his belly button to the groin. And although he takes care of himself (if you ask, he doesnât care until it starts to get in the way), but he will never remove this particular hair.
His cock is worth forgetting about toys. So are his fingers.
Adam doesn't have a favorite place to have sex, but he prefers you to be alone. Teasing in public is a whole different story!
If you want to quickly excite Adam, then touch his wings. But this should not be a light touch to the tips of his feathers, but a targeted stroking of the growth area of ââââthe wings and between the shoulder blades.
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There's People Watching
Alexia Putellas x Reader
Word Count: 3.3k
A/N: Timeline? I donât know her. Started writing this early 2023. Based on the Jade LeMac song
[WOSO Masterlist]
Everyone always joked about it. About how great a couple you and Alexia would be.Â
Every time Mapi would poke fun at the two of you Alexia would just roll her eyes, a dangerous smirk playing at the edge of her lips.Â
Every time Leila would ask if there was something hidden in the charged looks you would exchange with each other youâd just push at her shoulders, expertly avoiding your best friendâs question with ease.
You and Alexia were the best of friends, partners in crime. Where she was the Queen, you were her Knight, more content to stand off to the side but still a steady force when she needed you.Â
You hadnât always been in love with her. It crept up slowly on you, the admiration for your friend turning something romantic in nature as the years went on. Your mouth started getting dry whenever she came in the room, her smile set off butterflies deep in your stomach, Alexia became all your senses could focus on.Â
You were content leaving it as it was. Alexia has been in your life since you could remember, and you werenât willing to risk it all on a little crush.
And then one drink filled night Alexia kissed you.Â
Your fate was sealed right then and there.Â
It made sense when Alexia asked for discretion. Being public figures, no matter how big or small, always came with some degree of scrutiny. Anything that could be kept private could be considered a blessing in disguise, and your budding relationship? Well that was definitely something Alexia wanted to keep to yourselves.
Itâs sweet, the way she cares for you behind closed doors.
Itâs beautiful, the way she loves you when no oneâs watching.
And itâs fun, sneaking around. Stealing kisses when no oneâs watching. Hiding in the shadows together.
Your touches were only meant for each other. Your love was only for the two of you to share.
Itâs sweet, itâs beautiful, itâs fun.
Itâs all those things until it isnât.Â
Somewhere along the line, as Barcelona becomes a club whispered about in awe, as Alexia is pushed more into the spotlight, she starts pulling away from you. In the quiet of your home sheâs still every bit the loving girlfriend youâve come to know. But the second you walk out the door, the second all eyes are on you, youâre no longer Alexia and (Y/N). Itâs no longer the two of you shouldering the weight of the world together. It becomes just Alexia. And just you. Two lovers pretending to be less than what they are.
But you love her. So you donât say anything. You donât try to convince her to love without abandonment.
Her image is important to her and Alexia is important to you too, so you stay quiet, content to love her in secret.
But thereâs only so much one can take.Â
Itâs on the eve of your second anniversary that the cracks finally start to show.Â
The two of you are at a gala, Alexia having to fulfill some of her media duties as captain and you not wanting to be without your girlfriend on such a special day. Itâs not weird for your Barca teammates to be at such events so no one bats an eye when you show up together. Alexia usually bars you from going along with her to events, lest others figure out your relationship status, but sheâs also slightly clingier given the day.Â
Youâre careful to keep your distance after arriving. Never brushing hands, never exchanging prolonged eye contact. It hurts you to have to act like Alexia doesnât mean a thing to you, but it is how it is.Â
Youâve been doing a good job. Smiling at the sponsors, exchanging small talk with everyone and no one. And then it happens. Alexia reaches across you to grab a drink from the waiter. On instinct your hand drops to her back, steadying the midfielder so she doesnât fall over.Â
Alexia instantly stiffens.Â
You pretend it doesnât hurt when she pulls away.
Sheâs quick to make her departure, claiming a need to talk to another one of the sponsors, but you both know the truth.Â
Youâre internally cursing at yourself, but whatâs done is done. You know the rules. You know what you can and canât do, what sheâll tolerate in public.Â
It hurts, but itâs just the way things have always been and always will be.Â
Itâs no surprise she stays on the other side of the room for the rest of the evening.Â
When Alexiaâs pressing you against the mattress later that night, later when youâre back in the solitude of your apartment, you try to forget the pain through the pleasure. Itâs easy to pretend youâre not just a secret when she whispers sweet nothings into your ear, one leg pressing firmly between yours.Â
When you fall asleep after sheâs had her appetite sated, warm bodies pressed against one another, you canât help but start to feel the cold ache of something unpleasant seeping in.Â
---
The break up was inevitable.Â
No matter how much you love her, you couldnât deny how much it hurt when Alexia wouldnât love you the way you deserved.Â
âYou treat me like a stranger. You canât even look me in the eye when weâre out with friends.â
Not having the social support that came with most relationships really helped drive this to the ground. Secret meant secret, no friends, no families involved.Â
Itâs lonely pretending youâre not in love.Â
Even lonelier pretending youâre not in love alone.Â
âI feel like youâre ashamed of me.â
Itâs sharp. Itâs loud.Â
Itâs deafening how much freedom sounds.
âI canât do this.â
Alexia doesnât give you another explanation.
You donât ask for one.
When the door closes behind her, it feels like nothing makes sense anymore.
---
Itâs been coming for a while now.Â
The nagging feeling that you need to do whatâs best for your career. With your playing time dwindling as the season progresses as well as the end of your contract looming near, you know you have to start branching out your options.Â
You pretend your break up with Alexia doesnât play a part in your focus on the pool outside of Spain.
Thereâs one offer that stands out among the rest.Â
Manchester City, the home of the blues. Onaâs already in the same city, albeit playing for a rival club, but her presence is one of the selling points that eventually convinces you to go. Youâve always had a soft spot for the defender, always considering her a younger sister even long after she left Barcelona. Although youâre rivals now, youâre more than happy to be reunited, one of the first bright spots in a couple weeks marred with nothing but sadness and hurt.
When news of your transfer breaks, Alexiaâs one of the first to call.
You stare at your phone until it rings out to voicemail. Her contact photo, a beautiful picture of her mid-laugh that you had captured in what seems like another lifetime ago, sends sharp pains through your heart. You yearn for those secret weekend getaways she used to take you on, back before everything blew up in your face, back when this thing between the two of you was sparkling, new and exciting.
Sitting in your bare apartment, boxes piled up by the front door, you canât help but feel cheated by the startling end to what couldâve been a love story for the ages.
---
Despite being the smaller person, Ona nearly barrels you over when you come out of your gate.Â
Laughing, you hug her back with the same vigor, quietly soaking in the familiar presence of a longtime friend.Â
Sheâs talking a mile a minute, eager to catch you up about her life in Manchester as well as try to get updates of the girls back home. Itâs only a miracle that you get Ona to lead you out of the airport before she starts digging more into why you decided to leave all you know behind for the English league.
Everythingâs so sparkly and new, itâs not hard to get lost in all the glitz and glam of moving to another country. Youâre so caught up in all thatâs involved with both moving clubs and country that you donât remember to turn your phone back on until later that night when youâre finally ready to settle down for the night.Â
What you see there makes all of the elation youâve experienced today dissipate.Â
Alexia Putellas: [Iâm sorry]
You stare at the two words until they blur, until your screen times out and youâre left staring at a person you donât recognize in the reflection of the dark screen.
---
Manchester is good to you.Â
You win some, you lose some, but damn does it feel good to find joy in your favorite game again.
With the way youâre playing itâs not a surprise when you get the call up for the Euros.Â
Youâre nervous, of course you are, but youâd be lying if you said it was just nerves from representing your country.
The night before youâre set to meet up with the rest of the team you get a call.
On the screen is a name you havenât seen in a while but one you havenât stopped thinking about since you left Barcelona.
You hesitate for a moment, not sure if you should answer it. But Alexiaâs always been your kryptonite. And a season spent apart would never be enough for that to change.
She sounds surprised when you pick up. Thereâs a sharp intake of breath, before she whispers your name out in awe.
âI want this.â Her voice is quiet, barely coming through the speaker.
You swallow. Suddenly the phone feels like it weighs a thousand pounds. âAle.â
Itâs one word, but both of you can hear the emotions there. The hurt. The silent plea for her not to do this to you again.Â
âI miss you.â She sounds frustrated, on the verge of tears.Â
If you close your eyes you can imagine the way sheâs pacing back and forth in what used to be your shared living room. Alexia always had a knack for mindless pacing when she was frustrated, trying to work things out.Â
âAlexia, donât.â
âI love you and I want to make this work.â
You tilt your head back, letting it hit your bedrest as you squeeze your eyes shut, ignoring the painful clench of your heart at her admission. The pinch of your nails digging into your palm is the only thing keeping you grounded as your voice comes out strangled, pained. âWhy are you doing this?â
â(Y/N)--â
âCĂĄllate, Alexia,â you hiss. You rub harshly at your face, trying to erase the traces of your tears despite your lack of witnesses. âWhy? Why now? You had your chance to make me stay.â
Instead of answering your question Alexia returns with one of her own. âHave you moved on?â
Have you moved on? Well that was the question, wasnât it.Â
Youâre not sure if you should tell Alexia itâs hard to move on from someone you never stopped loving. Alexia never seemed to care about what you thought about your relationship. Why would she care now?
âBecause I havenât moved on.â It shouldnât make you feel hopeful, the words she says when you donât respond. Hope is a cruel thing but Alexia doesnât seem to care about the turmoil in your head she sets off with just those five words. âLetting you go, that was the worst mistake of my life. I never should have thrown us away. I shouldâve fought harder for us.â
Itâs everything you wanted to hear, but nearly a year later youâre not sure if itâs too late.
âTell me you havenât moved on.â Thereâs a slight plea in her voice as Alexia all but starts begging. âI donât know what I would do if you have.â
The seconds tick by and still you say nothing. Youâre crying earnestly now, comforted only by the fact that you can hear Alexia trying to muffle her cries on the other line.Â
Everything hurts. Your head, your heart, your body. Youâre just so sad and just so lonely and thereâs only ever been one person who could take away your pain.
âI canât walk away from you,â you whisper, the truth feeling like sandpaper in your throat. It stings and burns, but you could never lie to Alexia. Not even now. âYouâre⊠itâs like youâre stuck in my veins and I couldnât leave you even if I wanted to.â
Itâs no surprise your torturous brain works slower than your mouth. By the time youâve begun processing what this all means youâre already telling Alexia exactly what she wants to hear.
And when you finally fall into a tumultuous night of sleep youâre left wondering if love should really hurt this much.
---
âYouâve been driving me crazy.â
Sneaking away at the first possible moment isnât at the top of your proudest moments, but you donât find yourself minding much with Alexia glued as close to your body as humanly possible.
Youâre a bit ashamed to say the two of you donât do too much talking before picking up right where you left off. Caught up between preparing for the tournament and fighting for a starting position didnât leave you with much time to figure out where things stood between you and Alexia.
And you definitely werenât going to be one to complain as long as it filled the void left behind with your departure from Spain.
âThank god for hot summer air, right?â You shamelessly grope at Alexiaâs ass, grinning when she lets out another desperate noise.
âYouâre a vision,â she groans, hands slipping under your shirt to palm at your abs.
âAnd youâre a tease,â you shoot back, laugh turning into a moan when Alexia turns her lips towards your neck. She peppers feather-light kisses all the way up until you reconnect your mouths again.Â
So caught up in each other, neither of you hear the door open behind you.Â
It isnât until thereâs a gagging noise echoing in the tiny room that you stiffen in place. Alexia jerks back, almost knocking over the shelf behind her as she tries to put as much space between the two of you as possible.Â
âThere is such a thing as too much tongue, you know?â Thereâs a sparkle of amusement in Leilaâs eyes as she takes in both of your disheveled states.
âLeila--â Alexia starts, but the defender doesnât let her finish.
âThe two of you are so lucky Mapi was too lazy to come grab the wrap herself. I volunteered to stop her whining but the amount of ammunition she wouldâve gottenâŠâ The Catalonian pauses, eyes switching from Alexia to you, finally taking in the look on your face.Â
From the moment Alexia leapt back, your face has been stony and unreadable. Itâs out of character for you, someone who never hesitates to show your heart on your sleeve.Â
Itâs such things about yourself like that youâve had to sacrifice to love Alexia.Â
You donât know if you have it in yourself to do it again.Â
Eyes lingering on your stiffened frame, itâs easy for Leila to know she walked in on something more important than a stolen hookup. She blinks slowly. âI didnât see anything.â Her voice is suddenly serious, no trace of her previous laughter in them.Â
Leila gives you a nod of acknowledgement as she reaches past you to grab one of the wraps on the shelf behind you. Her hand gives you a small squeeze before sheâs turning away, the door closing quietly behind her.Â
Itâs quiet for a moment.Â
You find yourself wishing the silence would last forever. The knowledge of the only way this will end weighs heavy on your heart.
Alexia doesnât seem to get your unspoken desire.
The midfielder runs a hand through her hair, letting out a nervous breath of air. âWell that was a close one.â
The smile on her face falls when she spots the way you havenât so much as moved the whole time Leila was here.Â
â(Y/N).â
You step away before Alexiaâs outstretched hand can touch you. Her hand falters mid-air, a stricken expression on her face.Â
She can tell by the look in your eye the decision youâve come to.
â(Y/N),â she repeats, now with a slight plea in her voice.
Shaking your head you let out a quiet sigh. âIâm not doing this with you again.â
You only give yourself enough time to pause in front of the door, eyes still looking everywhere but at Alexia. All it would take is one look for you to break. And you canât break. Not again.
âI deserve better than to be someoneâs secret.âÂ
You slip out, door closing in Alexiaâs face before she has a chance to say anything in return.Â
---
Youâre quiet all throughout dinner.Â
After the afternoon youâve had, you have no appetite, simply pushing the food around your plate, taking a small bite here and there. Itâs enough to fool the rest of your teammates, but Leila watches on with concern, your best friend knowing you better than most.
Having decided youâve feigned eating long enough, youâre just about to get up from the table when a familiar blonde takes the spot right next to you.
You have to fight your sigh, simply turning away from the Catalonian.Â
She quietly murmurs your name but you ignore her. Patriâs looking at the two of you with intrigue, confused why youâre not giving Alexia the attention she so obviously wants. By the fifth time you pretend your plate is more exciting than Alexiaâs attempts to get you to look at her, most of the table has picked up on the frosty vibes emanating from you.Â
Unable to get your attention, Alexia does the unexpected.Â
She drops her hand on top of where yours is resting next to your water. Moving softly, she intertwines your fingers together, holding on tight.Â
You look down at your hands, mouth parted in surprise.
You try to school your expression, but you can tell by Leilaâs raised eyebrow that youâve failed.Â
âThereâs people watching.â You keep your eyes fixed at the table, knowing that if you stare into Alexiaâs brown eyes you would break down.Â
You try to pull your hand away but Alexiaâs hand tightens around yours.Â
âI know,â she murmurs, discreetly scooting her chair closer to yours.Â
Shutting your eyes, you let out a shaky breath. Her hand feels warm in yours, familiar.Â
Youâre still frozen when she leans towards you, face inching closer and closer to yours.Â
âLet them watch.â She darts in to press a kiss against your cheek, dangerously close to your mouth.Â
Alexia lingers and you hold your breath, afraid to make any movements.Â
âLet them see how lucky I am to have you.â
When you turn to face her itâs hard to miss the love and adoration shining in her eyes. Alexia gives you a shy smile, hand lightly squeezing yours.Â
âI love you.â
You donât miss the raised eyebrows and looks from around the table, but Alexia doesnât spare them any time. Her eyes are trained on you, warmth and sincerity shining through her gaze.
.
Youâre not ready to forgive her. But for right now, this is enough.
Letting Alexia love you is enough.
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Last, Last Time (alternate ending)
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (she/her pronouns)
WC: ~8.2k
TW: Angst, guns, violence, mentions of domestic violence, blood, swearing, depression, kidnapping, manipulation, self-deprecating thoughts, heartbreak, arguing, the grieving process, drinking, screaming, crying, being under pressure, and anything else that comes with a criminal minds episode.
a/n: based on S15 E6 - first date. I love u aubrey plaza <3. Also inspired by the song Last, Last Time by Boys Go To Jupiter.
hey guys! some people had asked me about a happy ending version of this, and I've never really written an alternate ending before, I was struggling with whether I wanted this to be good angst or not, so having been swayed....here is the alternate ending!
Original Spencer Masterlist
âSpencer I wonâtâI canât keep doing this. Iâm sick of arguing in circles.âÂ
âY/nâŠâ
âI-I feel like you take me for fucking granted Spencer. All I do is work and then come home and wait for you to actually be able to, I donât know, sleep in the same bed as me for more than four hours.â
The look in his eyes almost took you out but your heart had already been broken long, long before this argument. If anything, you were starting to feel this sense of freedom as you broke his heart.Â
âPlease. Y/n. JustâI donâtâJust give me a few days to convince Hotch to let me have some time off and we can work on this please.âÂ
âWait for the potential of us?âÂ
Spencerâs jaw loosened. You couldnât read beyond the initial layer of pain and confusion, which made your chest ache since not too long ago you could have been able to find everything you needed in his expression.
âGod Spencer this canât be fucking news to you. Weâve been drifting apart for months now.âÂ
âI know, I know. You have been so patient with me and Iâve just beenâŠ.there was that whole thing with Cat and thenâŠ.I-I was trying so hard y/nâŠâ
âNo, first there was that whole thing with Maeve.â
âThatâs not fairââ
âOh thatâs not fair? Really? Youâre going to tell me the entire Maeve thing isnât fair to you?â
âIâm sorry.â
You sighed and closed your eyes. âIâm not saying you werenât trying but come one Spencer. Thereâs no need to deny this shit anymore. I hate it when you lie to me about these kinds of things.âÂ
Spencerâs hand came up to his face and it dragged down, aging him significantly with the fatigue written all over his face.Â
âSo youâre just going to pack up everything, break my heart, and leave? Were you even going to say goodbye, or was I going to come home to an empty home and no noteâŠâÂ
âI-I donât know Spencer. I just donâtâŠâÂ
The tears were starting to creep in, and you had to place the box down before you lost it.
âThis isnât easy for me eitherâŠâ Your chest heaved.Â
The both of you stood in silence, tension simmering surrounding the both of you like heat on a summerâs eve. Neither of you could really look at one another, but it felt wrong to look at anything else. Something was missing but you couldnât say it outloud. You knew you would always love Spencer Reid but this time it was not enough.Â
âIâm tired of arguing Spencer.âÂ
Your eyes met his. You felt Spencerâs arms around you before you could even feel the tears hit your cheeks. Your arms immediately went to his neck, so familiar. No longer home.Â
Spencerâs voice muttered into your ear. âDonât cry Jolie. Itâll be okay..âÂ
About three years ago, Spencer had decided that he didnât like that you had nicknames for him, and he had none for you. He spent weeks workshopping different ones : Sugar, Honey, Pumpkin, Sweetheart, Darlin, Pookie, Lover, Sunny (like sunshine), Sunshineâit was a wild week trying to figure out who he was talking to. Then one day, offhandedly, he was trying to tell you about this french film he had been watching, and trying to get Emily to watch with him.Â
He called you âtres jolieâ, and blushing you had asked him what it meant. He told you it meant pretty.Â
And it stuck.Â
Now? It stung.Â
All you could do was squeeze tightly onto him, not ready to let go.
âYouâre so pretty when youâre lying through your teeth.â You whispered after a few moments, pulling away out of his arms.Â
âI.â You swallow and step back, out of his reach. âMaybe Iâll.âÂ
Spencer just looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold in the tears that were streaming down his face.Â
You grabbed the last box on the counter and your keys, and walked out, for the last time.Â
You awoke in your bed, eyes adjusting to the complete darkness the blackout curtains provided you.Â
Another fucking night thinking about your decision those four years ago, and trying to decided whether your life had gotten better because of it.
You still werenât sure. Â
Moving to get up from the bed, you decided to leave the curtains closed for now, feeling as if you could melt from the sun touching you.Â
You turned on the bathroom light and started your morning routine. Wash face. Take meds. Brush teeth. Fix hairâ
Somewhere in that process, you got lost, and just stared at yourself in the mirror. You werenât sure for how long. All you could do was replay the last four years.Â
Did you make the right choice?
Something was missing. It was missing from the spot on the couch. It was missing in the mug cabinet. It was missing in the kitchen while you played music and moved around by yourself.Â
But you were happy. You have been able to throw yourself into your job, and open your own firm. You had your dream career, with some of the most amazing friends you could have asked for.Â
None of which you would have met if you stayed with him.Â
Maybe it was true what they say, you can only have a career or love, but not both.
The only thing taking you out of this spiral was the ringer on your phone going off.Â
This caused some hesitation because your phoneâs ringer was always offââthe loud noise startling you. There were only a few people who had that emergency bypass, and none of them had called you in four years.Â
You peaked out of the bathroom and saw the name light up on your phone.Â
Emily Prentiss
__________________________________________________________________________
The door to the round room opened up and in walked Spencer Reid. âCatch me up.âÂ
Prentiss clicked the remote, and the TV lit up with a picture of a woman smirking facing the camera while holding a gun up to another one next to her. âEarly this morning, Garcia got an email from an anonymous server.â
The second woman was tied up, mouth slightly open, and eyes filled with tears, while a man on the other side just had his eyes closed, tired. .Â
Spencer just stared at the photo.Â
Rossi nodded at the picture. âShe's not obscuring her face, telling us she's got nothing to hide.â
He never pulled focus away from the screen, mouth dry at the thought of what today was about to be.âAny ideas on the unsub?â
âNo.â Prentiss sighed. âOnly the unsub's demand. That we release Catherine Adams in 24 hours. I'm having her transferred here for questioning, but we have no illusions. This is just a game to her. We know that. The question is, do we want to play it or not?â
______________________________________________________________________________
Receiving a call from the FBI was not entirely new to you, since you had been engaged to one of their agents, but receiving one now? Something was deeply wrong from them to have to send you a call.Â
You hesitantly pick up the phone. âHello?â
âHey Y/n, itâs Emily Prentissââ
âI know who you are, Emily. Itâs been a couple years, not millions.âÂ
Emily hummed a brief laughter, and you could hear other voices behind her, unable to make out anything.Â
âI know this is hard to ask of you, but would you stay on the phone with me and come in?âÂ
âWhat?âÂ
âI need you to stay very calm Y/n, but I need you to stay on the line with me, leave your apartment as soon as you can, and drive to the BAU.âÂ
âUh, yeah Em. Iâm so sorry, I, uh, I completely forgot about our plans today. Let me get ready, and Iâll be there as soon as I can. Are we still meeting at your place or did you have a different location in the city?âÂ
âWeâll be at Quantico.âÂ
Your entire tone changed, having remembered what Spencer had told you all those years ago about if people were listening into your apartment, if they bugged your carâall paranoia that didnât pay off then, might be paying off now.Â
You were sure you could hear Emily sigh, and it sounded a little upset at the fact that you knew what to doâyou knew how to handle a dangerous situation, which made her question everything in her life.Â
Quickly you pulled on a pair of jeans and threw a sweatshirt over your pajama top and grabbed your keys off of the counter.Â
Today was already stressful enough, what was the point of adding a bra.Â
You left your apartment, waved to one of your neighbors, and hopped into your car, still on the line, just trying not to panic. Maybe something went wrong, maybe Spencer wasnât okay, maybe he had diedâyou refused to even acknowledge that thought and decided it was something else entirely.Â
It was a very tense hour of driving, that was only about forty since you knew how to drive above the speed limit.Â
You realized that it was past midday, and you had taken full advantage of the weekend. So at least you had a decent amount of sleep under your belt for what felt like the beginning of an extraneous night.Â
As you pulled into the parking garage, Emily Prentiss and someone you had never met before were standing there waiting for you. You placed your car in park, hopped out and walked up to themâonly hanging up as soon as you were out of the car.Â
Both of them have such grim looks on their faces, but at least they were trying to pretend like the situation wasnât as bad as it appeared.
Emily engulfed you in a hug. âMissed you Y/n. Itâs been too long.âÂ
âWell Em, next time I break up with someone Iâll consider your feelings first.â You squeezed her back, dryly laughing at your own joke. At least it caused Emily to snort.Â
âY/n this is SSA Luke Alvez. Luke, this is Y/n Y/l/n.â
âItâs nice to meet you.â He gave a small smile and nodded at you.
âI wish it were under different circumstances.â You looked over at Emily.
âLetâs head inside?âÂ
You nodded and the three of you moved inside.Â
Sure, you hadnât been here in a while, but you knew your way to the BAU Bullpen if your life depended on it, which was ironic since that was what this kinda felt like.Â
As soon as you were safely in their round table room, Luke shut the door, and stood by it, Emily coming and sitting down next to you.Â
âWhat do you know about Cat Adams?âÂ
That bitch.Â
______________________________________________________________________________
âI would like to go on a date. With you.âÂ
Spencer stared at her, face stoic as ever. âA date?â
âYes. I want to look pretty. And I want to have fun.â She looked him up and down. âAnd I won't even get physical, ok? Unless you want me to.â
Spencer sat down across from her. âCome here. Closer.â
Cat leaned in, a small smile on her face, absolutely intoxicated by being so close to him.
âThe only date that I'll be there for is the one where they stick a needle in your vein.â
Cat scoffed. âYou're just going to let her father and sister die? I don't think so.â
âI never said it was a father and daughter. You're already slipping.â He stood up from the table. âWe'll find them. We always do.â
Cat leaned back and crossed her arms. âNot tonight. Tonight I win.â
His resolution had yet to change, âThe score between me and you is two to zero. By tomorrow morning, it'll be a clean sweep. Enjoy eternal nothingness. It's a metaphor for your life.âÂ
And with that, the door slammed shut behind him.
______________________________________________________________________________
Both the profilers watched a series of emotions run rampant across your face, before you settled on a somewhat displeased smile. âA lot.âÂ
They exchanged a look, and you didnât have the energy to pretend like you didnât know what it was.Â
âDonât start with me today Emily. I know what youâre doing. Ask me the questions you want to ask. Donât try to trick me into giving the answers you want. Donât profile me.âÂ
Part of being engaged to a profiler meant you picked up on some of their own quirks. Which meant you saw Alvez bite his tongue and try to hide his smile. And you noticed that Emily, on the other hand, hid her smile a bit better but it was still there.
She nodded and pulled a file from across the table. âIâm assuming you know the basics since she, uh, is obsessed with Spencer.â
âGlad to see he still has that going for him.â You muttered and looked into the file.Â
Emily shot Luke a look when he let out a huff or air, trying his damndest not to laugh.Â
âWhat is the last thing you know about her?âÂ
You recounted the days leading up to the restaurant, and then the few days after, decidedly stopping short of the engagement breaking off a week later.Â
They shared another look, and you didnât enjoy whatever it was that had moved across their faces.Â
âWhat happened?âÂ
âY/n..â
âNo Emily, I drove all the way from DC to Quantico on the phone, I deserve to know what happened.âÂ
Emily then begins to explain to you the past four years of Reidâs life. Cat pretending she was pregnant with his kid in prison, kidnapping his mother, framing him for murder in Mexico, going to prisonâ
âSpencer went to prison and none of you thought to call meâŠ.â
âWe didnât think youâdââÂ
âIâm a fucking criminal defense attorney in DC Emily. Of course Iâd want to know if he was arrested, especially internationally. I know that law better than all of you. If someone I knew was kidnapped, Iâd call you immediately. Faster than the cops.âÂ
Both of them went silent.Â
âSo is he out?âÂ
They nodded slowly, silently.Â
âHow long was he in there?â
Nothing.Â
âI asked. How. Long.â
Luke spoke up. âThree months.âÂ
âJesus christ.â You stood up and started to pace around the room, taking the time you needed to calm down.Â
Why didnât Spencer call you?
Well you knew why Spencer wouldnât call you.Â
âOkay so heâs out.â You said finally. âWhy am I hereâHe didnât startâŠ.did he?âÂ
Emily shook her head. âHeâs actually been really good about it.â She said softly, trying to calm you down.Â
You started fidgeting with your rign finger; a habit you have picked up many years ago, and have yet to lose, even if the ring wasnât there anymore.Â
âCatâs execution is coming up.â Emily started, trying to get you back on track. âAnd weâŠ.we found out that sheâs convinced one of her former cellmates to kidnap...peopleâŠclose to Reid, and we knew youâd be on that list for him.âÂ
âShe already ruined that relationship years ago, she won that one. Why would she bring me back into it?â You sat down and looked down at the file on the table. You had never really seen a photo of her before, doing your best to avoid all of the media surrounding her arrest.Â
She was very pretty, that much was certain.Â
Just as you went to say something else, JJ knocked on the door, another blonde woman behind her.Â
They entered and JJ gave you a small, yet genuine smile.Â
You returned it, but quickly shifted your gaze onto the woman behind.Â
Your whole body shifted slightly, into a place of defense, locking your emotions down. You knew all the profilers were watching it happen in real time, which is why Emily very casually put a hand on your knee under the table.Â
âWould someone like to tell me what is going on here?âÂ
Your head turned as you looked over to Emilt, bewildered by this woman and her, well, bewilderment.Â
JJ walked over and sat down on the other side of you. âUh, Max, this is Unit Cheif Emily Prentiss and SSA Luke Alvez.â She pursed her lips before looking over at you. âAnd this is another one of the victims affected by Cat Adams, Y/n Y/l/n.âÂ
Max had crossed her arms and nodded. âVictims?âÂ
You quickly onced her over, a slightly unimpressed look crossing your features. âPeople close to Spencer get fucked over a lot.â This came out with a sigh attached to it.Â
Max almost scoffed, but you watched as she nodded. âAnd how do you know Spencer?âÂ
Your eyes met with Emilyâs really quickly.Â
Emily looked over at Max. âSheâsâŠâ
âIâm Spencerâs ex-fiancĂ©.â
It felt better to let this poor girl know, but somehow saying the words out loud left the most rotten taste in your mouth.Â
Watching Maxâs defenses go up in real time was a little sobering.
At least Spencerâs taste in partners with attitude hadnât changed.Â
______________________________________________________________________________
âVictimology is off.â
âHow so?â Prentiss looked up at him as he walked into the room.Â
âFather and daughter. Sheâs never done that before.âÂ
Lewis spoke up. âShe usually kills men that remind her of her father. Childrenâeven adult children, are off limits. Do we have an ID yet.âÂ
Prentiss, Rossi, Garcia, and JJ all looked over at Reid, and he just pulled a hand down his face. âItâsâŠItâs Issac and Noelle Y/l/n.âÂ
âY/l/nâŠas is Y/n Y/l/n.â Tara looked up surprised at Spencer.Â
Reid nodded slowly, just staring at the picture on the projector.
While Luke spoke up. âWho is Y/n Y/l/n.âÂ
âAn old friend.â Rossi quickly interjected, before any more explanation had to be said. It was clear both Alvez and Simmons, that whoever this was, was an extremely touchy subject for Reid.Â
Tara, who had only known you for a little while, looked back at the picture.Â
Rossie spoke up. âWhat do we know about the partner whoâs helping her?âÂ
âItâs got to be someone from her prison.â Simmons spoke up. âShe hasnât had contact with anyone else?âÂ
______________________________________________________________________________
After all of that, you found yourself back in a place you swore you left for the last time. It looked almost the same as when you had first moved out, but there was less of it.Â
Almost as if he was having trouble covering places where things used to be.
There were almost no photos on the walls, since you were half of them, and had taken the rest.Â
Calling someone you once loved a stranger feels wrong.Â
Max was just sitting on the couch in your spot. She was looking around as you and Rossi stood by the kitchen counter.Â
She had, understandably, decided she was not your biggest fan.
âCat had a cellmate named Juliette Weaver. We believe the two were working together, as a way for Cat to get something against Spencer, and as payment, Cat would hurt Julietteâs ex.â
You nodded. âHow does this affect me?âÂ
âShe took your father and sister.âÂ
Your back straightened and immediately brought out your phone, to call your sister, but Rossi just placed a hand on your phone and shook his head. âIf she finds out you know, then itâs all over. Sheâs doing this on purpose. She knows about you and Reid, but she knows that dragging you into all of this will hurt him more than anything else.âÂ
His voice had gone low and quiet, so that the girl on the couch couldnât hear. JJ, who was on the couch, talking to Max, looked like she was trying to block out whatever conversation was happening in the kitchen.Â
âSo why is she here?â You whispered back.Â
âBecause we donât want anyone in danger, and itâs better for us if we have eyes on both of youâÂ
You closed your eyes and nodded. âI need a cup of tea.âÂ
Rossi nodded, and placed your phone on the counter, and you walked into the kitchen,eyes closed from the stress of the situation.Â
The apartment went silent, watching as you grabbed a kettle, and started to make tea. It was like second nature to you as you turned the stovetop on, grabbed a mug from the cabinet (careful to not grab one of his favorites), and grabbed some tea from the cabinet.Â
It didnât dawn on you that you were drinking your favorite type of tea until the second sip, while the entire apartment was still silent.Â
The pity from JJ and Rossi was palpable.Â
The disbelief from Max was a boulder on you back, like Atlas transferring the world to your shoulders.Â
âDonât even start.â You muttered, moving to sit down back next to Rossi on the kitchen stools.Â
He shrugged and stayed silent.Â
That is, until JJâs walkie went off and she looked at Max. âItâs time. Letâs go.âÂ
Rossi looked over at you and gave you a quick hug, squeezing you tightly. âYouâve got this kid. Remember everything we talked about.âÂ
You nodded and gave both agents a strained smile as they left the apartment, taking Max with them, leaving you all alone in this place you once called home.
Never once, since you left, did you think you would ever be back here. You didnât even realize you were drinking from one of your own mugs until it was just you. The irony of it was not lost on you, and you sat down in your spot on the couch.Â
Well first you sat in Spencerâs seat but it felt too weird, so you shifted back into your spot on the couch.Â
______________________________________________________________________________
âJuliette staked out in Reidâs life. Found out he was dating someone, but then must have discovered his ex-fiancĂ©e.â Simmons sighed. âHe was probably so focused on Max, he didnât even realize that someone was digging into his history, following them around.â
Prentiss nodded as they walked and talked. âBut if Juliette was able to find Max, that meant she was easily able to find Y/n and her family. Plus, Y/n is not that hard to findâsheâs a prominent public attorney in DC. That means Juliette mustâve had access to all of her publicly available information. â
âWell at least we found their hidden agenda.âÂ
âNo. We found Catâs hidden agenda. Juliette doesnât care about Reid. Thereâs something weâre missing here. Do a deep dive with Garcia.âÂ
Simmons nodded at Prentis. âOn it.âÂ
âIâll go to Reid's apartment and monitor onsite. Is there a trap and trace on his landline?âÂ
âGarciaâs almost set up.â Simmons walked away from Prentiss, and down towards Penelopeâs office.Â
âWell this went from bad to worse.â Tara walked up to Emily.Â
Emily sighed in agreement.Â
Lewis spoke up. âFemale narcissists destroy their competition. Y/n really shouldnât be in there.âÂ
Emily just nodded and the two of them headed out of the bullpen. âWalk with me.âÂ
Tara kept stride with her as they pushed through the doors. Rossi was just getting off the phone with someone and turned to look at the two women approaching him and JJ.Â
JJ spoke up when Rossi was finished. âSo, the hospital just released the dadâ Issac Y/l/n. He's on his way here now.
Rossi scoffed. âQuestion is, why let him go at all?â
âMatt's on that.â Emily gestures in the direction of Garciaâs office. âJuliette Weaver's real agenda should tell us where she's taking Y/nâs younger sister.â
Lewis spoke next. âI still think the play here is to get Cat and Juliette to contact each other, but I have no idea how.â
Prentiss crossed her arms. âI have a plan, but first we have to talk about Y/n.âÂ
______________________________________________________________________________
Just then, you heard the click of the door, and stood up, watching as the door swung open.Â
And there he was.Â
This was the first time you had seen Spencer in four years.Â
And there he was, kissing Catherine Adams.Â
The woman you could give partial credit to for ending your relationship.Â
After a moment Spencer looked up, and took several steps away from Cat. His eyes were wide and locked on yours.Â
It took a lot of self-restraint to not punch the lights out of Cat, and to stand still arms crossed.Â
âY/n?â Spencerâs voice broke a little bit.Â
You never would say that Spencer was unattractive. In fact, it would be a lie if you ever even thought about it. But something about the past four years aged him like a fine wine.Â
His hair was a bit longer, he had some scruffâhis baby face had melted away and standing in front of you was a man who you thought you knew everything about, but was now a stranger.Â
You didnât answer him, watching as he took you in, standing in his apartment, for the first time sinceâŠ
âWhat are you doing here?â Spencerâs voice cracked.
You looked over at Cat, who had the most devious smirk on her face.Â
Remember what Prentiss had said to you.Â
âYou know why Iâm here.âÂ
Cat nodded and the two of them moved into the apartment, the door closing behind them.Â
Spencer just stood ten feet away from you, eyes never leaving you, and you watched him right back.Â
Cat, on the other hand, was walking around, examining the apartment. You could see her take notice of the tea you had made yourself on the counter. You could see the hatred from the corner of your eyes. The two of you were starting to piss her off.Â
She spoke up, after a few moments of silence. âDid it make you mad that I was kissing your FiancĂ©?âÂ
You shook your head. âNo.â
Your focus had fully turned to Cat, but you swore you swore you could hear Spencer take a sharp inhale as you spoke your next words.
âWell, he's not my fiancĂ© and I kind of have some other things on my mind.â
Cat didnât scare you, but there was just something so off-putting about her. âLike what?âÂ
âAre you gonna hurt Noelle?â
Cat shrugged. âNot if I don't have to, no. Honestly, if she follows instructions, she might even learn from this whole experience.â
You scoffed. âWhat does that mean?â
Cat just started fiddling with the chess set on the dresser.Â
âSpencer, what does she mean?â You turned to look back at him, his name feeling so good on your tongue.Â
Spencer, who really hadnât stopped looking at you and sighed. âShe means that Noelle isnât learning from her, but from Juliette.âÂ
You sat down in your spot on the couch, eyes closed, trying not to let Cat (or Spencer) see how truly upset you were starting to feel. Â
Spencer noticed where you sat and had to look down to conceal any notions of a smile on his face.Â
Cat watched him before turning and looking at you, more disdain on her face than before.Â
âNormally, Spencie and I, we spend our time together playing games, but tonight, I've brought you all here to make a point. You are doing so much better.âÂ
Spencer spoke up. âWith you?â
âWithout you.â Cat snapped at him. âBesides, Iâm not talking to you Spencie, I'm talking to her.â
She turned to face you. âBecause, girlfriend, you need to know the truth about your fiancĂ©.âÂ
âHe's not my finacĂ©.â You were unsure about how many more times you could say that outloud.Â
âNo kidding. Whenâs the last time you spoke? RightâŠâ Cat walked over to the center of the room, right in front of the couch. âHere?âÂ
Your head whipped around to Spencer. âYou told her about that?â
Spencer was pleading with his eyes. âI had to say a lot of things tonight.â
Catâs voice caused your head to snap back to her. âYes, he has. He said that you never compared to me, that, um... That no matter what, he will never get me out of his mind, unlike you. Unlike that girlfriend.âÂ
You tried not to wince at the mention of that girl Maxine out in one of the trucks.
Spencer sat down next to you. âEverything I saidâI was lying to save your family.â
Cat scoffed. âDid our kiss look like a lie?âÂ
âNo.â You locked eyes with Cat, almost challenging her.Â
She seemed to enjoy it.
âThank you. See, now we're getting to the heart of the matter.â Cat started mocking Spencer. âYou see, everyone thinks that Dr. Spencer Reid is... Is just this nice, bookish, uh, genius who, uh, always saves the day and has all the answers. And has zero mommy issues, right? But, um... I know the real him.âÂ
âOh, yeah? Who's the real me, Cat?âÂ
âThe real Spencer Reid throws women against walls. And hisses that he's going to kill them.âÂ
Spencer stood up, squaring off against her. âThat was a very different situation.â
âNo, it wasn't.â Cat was holding the smirk back this time, making your gut wretch.Â
âSpencerâŠWhat is she talking about?â You looked from the psychopath in front of you, to Spencer, poor Spencer who has spent the entire day entertaining her.
âYou tell her. She's not gonna believe it coming from me.â She huffed.Â
âCat..â
âDo it.â She hissed, eyeswide with hints of threate.
Reid turned and looked at you, his mouth dry and body stiff. âTwo years ago, Cat had her partner kidnap my mother. Just like tonight. She got under my skin andâŠâ
Your chest hurt. âAnd you threw her against a wall?âÂ
Catâs smirk was breaking through whatever resolve she had. âDon't skimp on the details, Spencie. She deserves to know everything.â
Every single time she said Spencie you swore it was harder to not deck her in the face.Â
Spencer looked down at his hands, and then over at you. His voice had gotten quieter. âShe was pregnant at the time and I knew that when I hurt her.âÂ
âAnd?â She stood there expectantly, waiting for Spencer to finish. When he didnât, her face suddenly became solemn. âThe next day... I miscarried. The end.â
Spencer looked at her. âThat's not true.âÂ
Youre eyes went wide. âWhat?â
They just continued to argue over you.
âIt is most certainly true. Check my medical records.âÂ
âThat doesn't mean I-I wouldâŠâ
Cat held up her hand to him. âStop. Look.â
Spencer looked over at you, just sitting on the couch, trying to process everything that was going through your head.Â
After thinking about everything you had gone through, especially with Spencer. âI thought you were better than that Spence.âÂ
It was the first time you had used a nickname for him in years. And he was hearing it for the first time while you were stuck in a standoff between himself and Cat Adams, your sister being god knows where.Â
Spencerâs voice cracked. âI'm sorry.âÂ
Cat squatted down in front of you, a sick smile on her lips. She was enjoying this. She truly enjoyed watching his life crumble to bits. âNotice how your Spencie is apologizing to you and not me.â
You clenched your hands. âHeâs not mineâŠâ
Spencer just looked over at you.Â
Cat nodded. âThat's good. Because men are all the same. Aren't they, Jolie?âÂ
Spencerâs eyes lit up with an emotion you rarely saw from him when you were together. âDon't call her that.â
And you couldnât blame him. The word ran you through like a spear and you were sure if you looked behind you, the blade would be through the couch. You tried so hard to not let either of the two people near you see how much it messed with you. You couldnât believe Spencer had told her that. Luckily for you, Cat was too busy pushing Spencerâs buttons to see the way her words won against you.Â
Cat hissed at him. âWhat, are you gonna throw me against a wall and choke me, or do you only do that to pregnant women?âÂ
You finally spoke up. âWhy are you doing this?â
âBecause I want you to see it.â She gestured to Spencer. âI want you to see that he is...no better than he was before, or any man after. Theyâre all the same.âÂ
âStop.â
Cat squatted down in front of you. âI can see it on your face. What's his name?âÂ
You stared back at her. âIt's none of your business.â
That damned smirk of hers returned. âIt is exactly my business. In fact, it's my specialty. I mean, I could have Juliette and baby sister go over there if you want. They could take care of him.âÂ
Reid looked over at you. âSay yes. Give her what she wants.âÂ
âHmm. See, he wants you to get me to make a little phone call so they can trace it.â She moved away from you both and sat down in the lounging chair across from you. âThey're so good, the FBI.â
You jumped up and started pacing, a spitting image of four years ago, unable to look at Spencer. âWhat is wrong with the two of you? What is this sick, twisted thing that you have? Listen, I just want to save my sister. Will you please just tell me what I have to do to do that?âÂ
âTell me his name. Tell me the story. That's it. And then if they can let Juliette exit stage right, then I promise you I will let her go.â
You looked between Cat and Spencer before walking over to the kitchen, and hanging up the phone. After staring down at the decision you had just made, you walked back over and took your phone out. âHere. Use this. Use my phone. They can't trace it.â
She just watched you. âYou'd be surprised.â
âI don't even need a call. Just... just a photo.â You held the phone out to her. âSomething to prove to me that she's still alive. Pleaseâ.Â
Cat just looked up at your face. âStory first.â
âY/n. Please.â Spencer turned to you, hoping youâd look back at him. âI have been here with her before. She called the number and told the partner to kill my mom.â
âIt is so tricky, isn't it? I mean, who are you gonna trust? The lying, cheating, violent psychopath... Or me?â
You looked down at the ground, refusing to look over at Spencer. âHisâŠHis name was Mike Davis. We dated for about two years. I met him a month after weâŠwe split.â
Catâs attention on you felt as if there were a million bees stinging your body all at different intervals, pain coursing through your body. âGood. When did it end?âÂ
âLast year.âÂ
âWas he good in bed?âÂ
Spencer stood up. âShut up.âÂ
Cat was enjoying this. She was enjoying watching you make Spencer uncomfortable. She was enjoying hurting him in every masochistic way she could. âWhat? You have to know where you stand.â
âHe was goodâŠâ You looked back at Cat. âGood at, um, separating me from my friends and my family. Enough that the first time he punched me in the face, I didn't have anywhere to go. And my first response was "I'm sorry, Mike." A fucking defense attorney apologizing to someone when they got hit. That's when he knew he had me.â
There was a glint in Spencerâs eyes, and you could swear they were tears, but you couldnât tell from rage or sorrow.Â
Cat continued to probe. âHow many hospital visits were there?âÂ
You showed her a small scar on the inside of your elbow. âNone. No, he... He knew how to hurt me just enough to hide it all, I guess. I never missed a day of work.â Â
âBut you found the strength to leave. What did you do?âÂ
â IâŠâ
âTell me.â
âI planned. I planned and then I waited.â
Catâs eyes lit up. âWaited for what? â
âI live here in D.C.â You looked between Spencer and Cat. âBut I'm also a resident in Virginia. It takes 60 days for the permit to clear, but because I-I know some peopleâŠit was sooner.â
Spencerâs eyes widened. âY/n, stop talking. Stop talking right now.â
Cat shushed him. âNo, don't stop. Here. Give me the phone. Look, I'm gonna enter the text. Stick the landing and I'll hit send."
You handed her the phone and she quickly typed out a message, her thumb hovering over send.Â
Fiddling with your ring finger, you started to speak again. Slowly. Concisely. âWhen I was ready, I picked a fight. Loud enough for the neighbors to hear. And he came at me with his fist just cocked back, so I pulled my Glock 19 out of my purse. I shot him.â
Spencer tried to interject. âIt was self-defense. He was attacking youââ
âThat's what I told 911 as he was struggling to breathe on his kitchen floor. That's why the police never charged me. Iâm a lawyer, I know how to plead.â You closed your eyes. âBut I... after I hung up, I... I shot him two more times.âÂ
Cat was glowing, spinning around to face Spencer. âWow, you really have a type, don't you? Quite a dilemma, too. She just admitted to murder.âÂ
Spencer was in disbelief. âShe'll beat it.â .Â
âProbably. But whatever feelings she might have still had for you, and whatever Maxine might have seen in youâ-itâs all gone.âÂ
The phone in your hand buzzed.
âOh, wow. Look at that. Your sister. Alive and well. You're welcome.âÂ
Your face hardened up, and you stood up straighter. Walking away from the two of them, you opened the door. âI got it.âÂ
Emily took the phone from your hand and you turned back to the two of them. There was no emotion behind your eyes as you looked back at Spencer.Â
Cat smirked and looked up at Spencer. âI win.âÂ
______________________________________________________________________________
The prison transport was quiet, with the two guards sitting across from Spencer and Cat. It had been silent for about twenty minutes, but then, Cat spoke up.Â
âDo you know why I did this? Why I really did this?âÂ
Spencer looked down at his hands. âYou wanted to prove I'm a monster just like you.â
âNo... Silly. I just wanted to see you again. I just wanted to make sure that you would never forget about me.â She sighed. â'Cause when they do put that needle in my arm, I just want there to be even the slightest chance that... Maybe you're still thinking about meâŠâ
Spencer stiffened as she placed her head on his shoulder. âYou didn't have to terrorize innocent people. You could've just written a letter.âÂ
âWould you have written me back?âÂ
When Spencer didnât respond, Cat knew her answer.Â
âBye, Spencie. I really enjoyed our date.â She smiled at him desperately, getting dragged out of the vehicle by the guards to the prison.Â
______________________________________________________________________________
The elevator door opened and Spencer walked out of it, his whole body reeked of defeat, and he barely looked at Emily as she spoke. âWe need to debrief.âÂ
âI need some time Emily.â He muttered, walking right past her and into the bullpen. His expression changed when he saw you on one side talking to Tara, and Max on the other, looking up at him right as he walked in.Â
âSpencer, are you okay?âÂ
Her voice caught your ear, and immediately you looked up to see her walk over and embrace him in a hug.Â
He stiffly smiled at her, and returned the hug before muttering that he would be back in a moment.
Watching Spencer hug her and whisper something in her ear, make your stomach lurch, and you had to turn away.Â
Spencer walked over to you, and you stood up as he approached.Â
âUh, Tara, would you mind giving usâŠâ
She nodded at him and walked away.Â
Both of you went to speak, trying to say something to the other.Â
âI should explain all of this.âÂ
Spencer shook his head. âYou donât have to explain any of that Y/nâit doesnât.âÂ
You cut him off. âSpencer, please.âÂ
The two of you moved out and voer into the kitchen, providing a bit more privacy than before. âIt was fakeâmost of it was fake. I didnât kill anyone, Spence. I was just lying to her to get her to send the text from my phone. It was allâŠIt was made up.âÂ
He just nodded, staring at you, eyes cloudier than a storm crossing an ocean.Â
You gave him a soft smile, and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Both of you could feel the pulse between it, but your hand stayed where it was.Â
âMike Davis is alive, and I donât really know about well. But heâŠwe dated for about two years and he didâŠhe raised a fist one time but never actuallyâŠhe never hit me. I threw him out that night. Iâm okay.â
Spencer lets out a breath slowly, just trying to take in everything you were saying.Â
Spencer watched as what little resolve you had left crumbled under his gaze, and you looked up, trying to keep the tears at bay.Â
He gently wrapped his arms around you, and helf you tightly, like all those years ago. âIâm so sorry you got dragged into this.â His words melted into your skin as you wrapped your arms around him.Â
After a minute of standing like this, the two of you broke apart, and one of his hands came up to your cheek, wiping away a single tear that was left.Â
You took a step back, the irony of this mirror image not lost on you, and you guestered back into the bullpen. âYou haveâŠYou have to talk to Max.âÂ
Spencerâs face dropped a little at the mention of her name and he shook his head. âIâllâŠIâll deal with her in a second. She wasnât the one who had to face a woman who completelyâŠ.â
âChanged and fucked up what I thought my life would be. Yeah, I know. But she also cares about you.â You laughed a bit, putting back together a resolve that was nonexistent.Â
âSpence, They filled me in on everything that happened between both of you in the past couple years, and they asked me if I would be willing toâŠhelp them beat her.âÂ
He didnât like that you knew about everything that had gone down. He was so happy you were okay. He was a little impressed by the way you beat Cat at her own game. He was upset that you put yourself in danger. You could read him like you read one of your favorite books, knowing which emotion was coming up next.Â
âThey gave me an ear piece and everything.â You gave him a small smile, trying to make light of something.Â
Spencer shook his head. âYouâre not trainedâthatâs extremely dangerous of you.âÂ
You sighed and nodded. âUnfortunately Spencer, this isâŠthis was the life I was used to when we were together. I knew the stakes. I mean the briefings I had with Hotch after you relapsedâŠâÂ
Spencer just clammed up and stood a bit straighter. â I didnât know that..â
âIt was like that on purpose. I didnât want you to think that you were a burden or too much orâI was doing it for the potential of usâŠâ You cut yourself of, flinching at the parallels between this and your previous final conversation.Â
Garcia walked over and placed a hand on Spencerâs shoulder. âIâm sorry to interrupt darlings, but I just need you both to know, Cat Adams had a miscarriage, but it was months after whatever encounter you had. Itâs not your fault. We looked at her records.â She was speaking low for you both, yet both of you let out a quiet sigh of relief.Â
You looked over at Garcia. âThank you Pen.âÂ
Taking another small step back from Spencer, even though every single neuron in your brain was firing off, telling you what you were doing was wrong. âI should, I should grab my stuff, and go back. Penelope?âÂ
She had a rueful look on her face, but she nodded and took your arm, walking you back over to the desk where your stuff was.Â
Spencer flexed his hand, almost as if he wanted to grab yours and never let go, but he just walked over to Max.Â
You started to collect your things, but got sidetracked by a conversation with Rossi.Â
You missed the small conversation that Spencer had with Max. You missed the way they hugged, and the way that the two of them walked out of the bullpen and to the elevator. You missed as they disappeared for a few minutes.Â
âRossi, I promise to do better about keeping in touch. I swear.âÂ
âI donât just invite anyone over for dinner, you know. Itâs an exclusive invitation.âÂ
You smiled, almost all real. âTrust me. I know. Besides⊠the phone is a two way device, so you have to text me first sometimes too.âÂ
You looked over for Spencer, the smile on your face shifting ever so slightly into one of sadness when he wasnât around. And no one would have noticed, if not for the fact that you were in a room full of profilers.Â
âWell everyone, IâŠthis was lovely. Weâll have to do this whole âgetting my family kidnappedâ again some time.âÂ
This remark caused a few laughs and some smiles, as you said your goodbyes, and Emily walked over to the elevator.Â
She was about to say something, but the doors opened and revealed Spencer. He seemed like a weight had been taken off his shoulders and you smiled at him.
Emily excused herself, giving your shoulder a squeeze, and leaving the two of you alone.Â
âLet me walk you out.â
You nodded, and entered the elevator.
The two of you stood in silence until you reached the parking lot.
You both stepped out, and looked over at your car, before looking back at one another.Â
It was Spencer who spoke first.Â
âIâm so so sorry Y/n.â He whispered. âI never meant any of this to happen to you, and for you to get dragged back here andââÂ
As soon as he met your eyes, you dropped your bag, and Spencer wrapped his arms around you tightly, just holding you and resting his head on yours; trying to give you the comfort that he was rarely able to give you. You just tightly wrapped your arms around his torso and just held onto him tightly. Trying to decompress, trying to truly understand everything that had happened in the past twelve hours.Â
Part of being a lawyer meant that acting and diffusing situations was part of your life, but sometimes, it was just a defense mechanism. It was exhausting.Â
âAre you okay?âÂ
Spencer looked at your face, pulling away slightly. You were worried about him.Â
He went to nod, but decided to shake his head no. âToday wasâŠIâm so sorry sheâŠâÂ
âItâs what she wanted, Spence, and unfortunately she justâŠâ You whispered. You tried so hard to find the right words.Â
After another moment in his arms, you took a step back and shook your head.Â
âIâm sorry.â
âY/nâŠâ
âSpence you have a girlfriend.âÂ
âY/n.â
âAnd IâŠI donât know if I could put myself back to where I was four years ago.â
âJolie.âÂ
You took another breath, but kept going. âYou are amazing, and funny, and so smart Spence. But thisâŠwe ran our course. It didnât work then, and I donât know if I have it in me to try again just for it to fail.âÂ
âWe wonât.âÂ
âYou canât promise something like that.â
âI can. I will.â
You shook your head. âMaxâŠâ
âWe broke up.â
Spencer gently grabbed your face, giving you enough time to back out.
You didnât.Â
His lips locked with yours, his thumb rubbing against your cheek as the two of you shared one more moment, just for the two of you.Â
Catharsis didnât even begin to describe the feeling of the ache in your bones subsiding. Every single moment of stress, of doubt, just melted away and left you grabbing a hold of Spencerâs shirt and pulling him impossibly closer.Â
It was going to be different. Everything was not the same. You both had grown, you had changed, and for the better. But eventually, you were always supposed to find your way back to this moment, with yourself in Spencerâs arms and your lips on his lips.Â
It was solidified when a few months later, Spencer left the BAU to become a full time professor in DC, and moved into your apartment, abandoning the one where Cat had ruined your life not once, but twice.Â
It solidified as the two of you made time for one another, constantly finding new cities around the world to explore.Â
It solidified forever when he placed a ring on your finger and whispered I do in front of your friends and family.
It was always meant to be, and sometimes, the path to forever, is everchanging.Â
But at least you were able to do it with Spencer Reid by your side.Â
#x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid angst#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x reader fluff#spencer reid x reader angst#dr spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x self insert#criminal minds fanfiction#Spencer reid x y/n angst#Dr Spencer reid x dr!reader#spencer reid masterlist#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfic#so much angst
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Hello:) I love your writing and I saw that you're still taking requests, so I wanted to ask if you'd be interested in writing about my idea??
So the whole idea is Cregan x wife!reader where (before her marriage) she was from a more southern house that's closer to Kings landing (Tyrell, Lannister etc. you can choose)
Now, the main plot is that she wants to help during the war, but she's not that good at fighting and also has no dragon. However, she wants to prove that she can help.
So she fakes/has a little argument with Cregan and then, after a cute goodbye, infiltrates the greens in Kings landing.
There, she acts as if she's no longer close to cregan because he is a black supporter and because of her previous house, she's a green loyalist (in reality, she's team black and a true lady stark)
While she's there, she infiltrates them and sneaks information to cregan and rhaenyra etc. While both of them (or at least cregan worry about her)
Larys and aemond are obvi kind of suspicious of her.
You can choose how you want this to end. If it's angsty because she gets caught or happy even though she got caught, or maybe she doesn't get caught at all. You can choose, with your writing, I'm sure you'll find a great solution:)
The whole scenario is inspired by "She Wolf" by shakira (I hope you know the songđ
)
For the rating 16+/18+ depending on the violence/gore/sexual themes.
(Also I wanna thank you for actually considering and writing about my idea for your harwin story "chasing the inferno". I was the anon)
I hope the idea isn't too confusing. Have a great day :)
The Silent Game
- Summary: When your family took the side of King Aegon II, the usurper, you felt the need to support the rightful Queen and your husband, the Warden of the North. No matter the cost.
- Paring: lannister!reader/Cregan Stark
- Note: For more of my works, visit my blog. The list is pinned to the top.
- Rating: Mature 16+
- Word count: 8 000+
- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff
- A/N: I hope this is what you had in mind. đ That idea you had (about Chasing the Inferno) was brilliant. And just what I needed to continue the plot, as my imagination was at the halt at that time. And I know that song. I was in my Shakira era when it came out. đ
The North had always been a place of bold contrasts: the cold and the warmth, the silence and the howling winds, the dark nights and the flickering lights of Winterfell. You were still adjusting to these contrasts, even after months of marriage to Cregan Stark, the Warden of the North. Your union had been one of strategy, a lioness from the Westerlands joining forces with the wolves of the North. But in time, your marriage had grown into something deeper, something that transcended the cold calculations of politics.
Yet now, as the war between the Greens and the Blacks brewed, you found yourself increasingly restless. Winterfell felt like a prison, even with its ancient walls and the comforting presence of your husband. You longed to be more than just a silent supporter; you wanted to take action, to show Cregan that you were his equal in all things, that you could be the lioness who fought alongside the wolves.
But Creganâs attention had shifted, as it often did with the coming of autumn. The Wall and its endless duty had consumed him, and the war in the south seemed a distant concern compared to the threats of the North. It was a reality you understood but did not accept. You needed to contribute, to show your devotion to him and his causeâRhaenyra's cause.
Tonight, as you sat by the fire in your shared chambers, the flames casting long shadows across the stone walls, you decided to act. You would provoke Cregan, force him to send you away, to the very heart of the enemyâs territoryâKingâs Landing. There, you could serve as his eyes and ears, a lioness among snakes, sending back crucial information to the Black faction and to your beloved husband.
The plan was simple in theory, but your heart clenched at the thought of deceiving him, even if it was for a greater purpose. You had to make him believe that you no longer wished to stay in Winterfell, that you felt suffocated and out of place in the North. The thought of causing him pain was unbearable, but you knew it was necessary.
Cregan entered the chamber, his dark hair still damp from the cold air outside. His grey eyes softened when they met yours, and he offered you a small smile as he moved to sit beside you. His presence was comforting, a reminder of why you had fallen in love with him.
"You've been quiet tonight," he observed, his voice a low rumble that seemed to resonate with the very stones of Winterfell.
You looked into the fire, gathering your resolve. "Iâve been thinking, Cregan. About our place in this war."
He frowned slightly, not out of anger but concern. "Our place is here, in the North. The Wall needs me, and Winterfell needs its lady."
His words were reasonable, grounded in the reality of your lives, but they ignited the spark of frustration you needed to fuel the argument. "And what of the war in the South? What of Rhaenyra? Do we not owe her our loyalty? Our support?"
Creganâs brow furrowed further as he regarded you. "We support her, but our duty is here. The North is vast and unpredictable; it cannot be neglected."
You stood up, letting your anger seep into your voice, even as it tore at your heart to speak such words. "I am a Lannister, Cregan! My brothers are in Kingâs Landing, one serving on the Small Council of the Greens. How can I sit here, idle, while they plot against Rhaenyra and our cause?"
Cregan stood as well, towering over you, his expression a mix of surprise and hurt. "You would leave Winterfell? Leave me?"
The pain in his voice nearly broke your resolve, but you pressed on, knowing this was the only way. "If it means contributing to this war, then yes! I am not some helpless maiden to be kept in the North while the world burns. I want to fight, to serve, to show that I am as much a Stark as I am a Lannister."
His eyes darkened, and for a moment, you feared you had gone too far. "You think I don't need you here? That I donât want you by my side?"
You softened your tone, taking a step closer to him. "I know you do, Cregan. But I need to prove my worth, not just to you, but to myself. Send me south. Let me be your eyes and ears in Kingâs Landing. I can be of more use there than I am here."
He looked away, the muscles in his jaw tightening. You could see the conflict in his eyes, the battle between his desire to protect you and his understanding of the larger game at play.
"I cannot send you into the lionâs den, not when your brothers are part of it," he said finally, his voice strained.
You reached out, taking his hand in yours. "They are my brothers, yes, but they are also men who have chosen the wrong side. They may not trust me, but they will allow me close enough to gather information, to play the part of the loyal sister while serving Rhaenyra and you."
Creganâs gaze returned to you, searching your face as if trying to find any hint of doubt. "This is dangerous. You know that."
"I do," you whispered. "But I am willing to take that risk for you, for our house, for our future."
He closed his eyes, his grip on your hand tightening. "You ask too much of me," he murmured. "But how can I deny you when you speak of duty and love in the same breath?"
You felt a tear slip down your cheek, quickly brushed away before he could see. "Then you will send me?"
Cregan opened his eyes, the decision made but the weight of it clear in his expression. "I will. But promise me, when this is done, you will return to me. I cannot lose you."
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. "I promise, Cregan. I will return."
He pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly as if afraid you would slip away then and there. You buried your face in his chest, inhaling his familiar scent, committing this moment to memory.Â
When he released you, his expression was one of determination mixed with sorrow. "Iâll make the arrangements. Youâll leave within the week."
You nodded, unable to speak, your heart heavy with the knowledge of what you were about to do. But you reminded yourself of your purpose, of the love that drove you to this decision. You would prove your loyalty, your devotion, and your love for Cregan Stark, even if it meant walking into the lionâs den to do so.
The morning light filtered through the heavy curtains of your chamber, casting a muted glow over the room. The warmth of the fire had long since faded, leaving a chill in the air that seemed to seep into your very bones. You had spent the night sleepless, lying in the large bed you shared with Cregan, your mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. Today was the day you would leave Winterfell, your home, and your husband, to embark on a dangerous mission to the South.
The thought of leaving him, of being apart from the man you loved, filled you with a deep ache. But this was necessary. For Rhaenyra, for the Blacks, for Cregan. You had to believe that.
A soft knock at the door drew you from your thoughts. You sat up, wrapping your robe tightly around yourself as the door creaked open, revealing Cregan. His expression was a mixture of sadness and resolve, a reflection of your own emotions. He entered the room silently, closing the door behind him, and for a moment, you both just stood there, staring at each other.
"Youâre leaving soon," he said quietly, his voice rough from the early hour.
You nodded, unable to find the words to respond. You knew that if you spoke, your voice would betray the turmoil inside you.
Cregan crossed the room to stand before you, his large hands gently cupping your face. His touch was warm, comforting, and you leaned into it, closing your eyes as you savored the moment.
"I wish there was another way," he murmured, his thumb brushing softly against your cheek. "I wish I could keep you here, safe, by my side."
You opened your eyes, meeting his gaze. "I know, Cregan. But this is what needs to be done. For Rhaenyra, for the North...for us."
His jaw clenched, and you could see the struggle in his eyes. "I hate that you have to do this, that I have to send you into danger."
You placed your hands over his, squeezing gently. "Youâre not sending me into danger, Cregan. Iâm choosing this. I want to help, to do my part. And I know you would do the same if our positions were reversed."
He pulled you into his arms then, holding you close against his chest. You could feel the steady beat of his heart, the rise and fall of his breath, and you closed your eyes, trying to memorize every detail of this moment. The thought of being without him, of not feeling his warmth beside you at night, was almost unbearable.
"You must be careful," he whispered into your hair, his voice thick with emotion. "Promise me youâll stay safe, that youâll come back to me."
You tightened your hold on him, pressing your face into the crook of his neck. "I promise, Cregan. I will return to you. I will always return to you."
He pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes, his expression serious. "If you find yourself in danger, if things become too perilous, you must come back. The war, the causeâitâs not worth losing you."
Tears welled in your eyes, but you blinked them back, refusing to let them fall. You needed to be strong, for him, for both of you. "I will be careful, I swear it."
Cregan leaned down, capturing your lips in a tender, lingering kiss. It was a kiss full of love, of longing, of a desire to hold on to this moment for as long as possible. You returned it with equal fervor, pouring all your emotions into that kiss, as if it was the last one you would ever share.
When he finally pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, his breath warm against your skin. "I love you," he whispered, the words carrying the weight of all the things he couldnât say.
"I love you too," you replied, your voice barely more than a breath.
The two of you stood there for what felt like an eternity, holding each other, neither wanting to let go. But eventually, you knew the time had come. You stepped back, breaking the embrace, and Creganâs hand lingered on yours as you moved away.
"Iâll be waiting for you," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "Winterfell will be waiting for you."
You nodded, unable to speak, your heart heavy with the knowledge that this might be the last time you saw him for a long while. But you had to stay strong, for both of you.
Cregan escorted you to the courtyard, where a horse had been prepared for your journey. The Northern wind whipped around you, biting at your exposed skin, but you barely felt it. All your focus was on Cregan, on the way his hand gripped yours, as if afraid to let go.
As you approached the horse, Cregan helped you mount, his hands lingering on your waist, his touch warm even through the thick layers of your clothing. Once you were settled, he stepped back, his eyes never leaving yours.
"Youâll have a small escort until you pass the Twins, just enough to keep you safe without drawing too much attention," he said, his voice steady despite the emotion in his eyes. "I trust you, my love. I trust you to do what needs to be done."
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. "And I trust you, Cregan. I will send word as often as I can."
He gave a small, tight smile. "Iâll be waiting for your letters, but more than that, Iâll be waiting for you to return."
You looked down at him, your heart breaking at the thought of leaving him behind. But you steeled yourself, knowing that this was the path you had chosen.
"I will come back to you, Cregan," you promised, your voice firm. "No matter what happens, I will return."
He reached up, his hand brushing against your cheek one last time. "Goodbye, my lioness. Until we meet again."
With a final nod, you urged the horse forward, the sound of hooves on the stone courtyard echoing in your ears. You didnât look back, knowing that if you did, you might lose the resolve to go through with this. Instead, you focused on the path ahead, on the journey south, on the mission that awaited you.
But as Winterfell disappeared behind you, you couldnât shake the feeling that a part of you was being left behind, with the man you loved.
The towering walls of the Red Keep loomed ahead as your carriage (courtesy of Lady Frey when you rested in the Twins) rolled through the gates of Kingâs Landing. The familiar, oppressive weight of the capital settled on your shoulders the moment you crossed into the city. You had grown up in these streets, and while the grandeur of the Lannister seat at Casterly Rock had always called you home, there was something about the Red Keep that felt equally like a gilded cage and a battlefield. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for what lay ahead.
The journey south had been long and grueling, but that was nothing compared to the task you now faced. You had to convince your brother, Tyland, that your presence here was born out of desperation and exile, not strategy and loyalty to Rhaenyra. Every word, every gesture would need to be calculated, yet natural, to ensure he believed you were truly the sister he thought he knew.
The carriage came to a halt, and before you could fully prepare yourself, the door was pulled open by a Lannister guard. You stepped down, your legs stiff from the journey, and barely had time to straighten your skirts before you saw himâTyland, rushing down the steps of the Keep, his face etched with worry.
"Sister!" His voice was strained with concern, and he reached you in a few quick strides, enveloping you in a tight embrace.
For a moment, you allowed yourself to melt into his embrace. It had been years since youâd last seen Tyland, and despite everything, despite the sides you had chosen, he was still your brother. The scent of his familiar cologne brought back memories of a simpler time, before the realm had been torn apart by dragons and treachery.
"Tyland," you breathed, your voice trembling as you wrapped your arms around him, drawing on the emotions you needed to sell your story. "I didnât think Iâd ever see you again."
He pulled back slightly, his hands resting on your shoulders as he scanned your face, searching for any signs of harm or distress. "What happened? Why are you here? Why are you alone?" The questions came in a rapid, breathless stream, his eyes wide with worry.
You looked down, feigning shame and sorrow, before meeting his gaze with a carefully crafted expression of despair. "Cregan found out about our familyâs support for King Aegon. He was furious, Tyland. He said he couldnât have a Lannisterâa traitor, he called meâliving in his house. He⊠he exiled me. Sent me away with nothing but a few guards and this carriage. I had nowhere else to go."
Tylandâs face darkened with anger, his grip on your shoulders tightening. "That bloody Northern savage," he spat, his voice low and dangerous. "How dare he treat you like this? How dare he?"
You shook your head, tears welling in your eyes as you allowed yourself to lean into the role you had to play. "He said he never wanted to see me again, that I was nothing but a stain on his honor. I begged him to reconsider, but he was adamant. I had no choice but to come here, to you."
Tylandâs expression softened, his anger giving way to concern as he pulled you into another embrace. "Youâre safe now," he murmured against your hair. "Youâre with your family, where you belong. Weâll protect you, I promise."
You nodded, clinging to him as if for dear life, even as your mind raced with the lies you had spun. "I was so afraid, Tyland. I thought he might⊠I thought he might harm me. The way he looked at meâŠ"
Tyland pulled back, his eyes fierce with a protective fury you hadnât seen in him before. "Heâll pay for this, I swear it. But youâre safe now. Iâll make sure of it."
You allowed yourself to sag against him, letting out a shuddering breath as you feigned relief. "Thank you," you whispered, your voice shaking. "I didnât know where else to turn."
He stroked your hair gently, guiding you back towards the Red Keep. "You did the right thing, coming here. The war⊠itâs tearing everything apart, but youâre safe with us now. Weâll figure out what to do next."
You let him lead you inside, your heart pounding with the fear that he might see through your act. But Tyland was focused on comforting you, on reassuring you that you were home now, that you were safe. The gods old and new were merciful, it seemed, as he didnât question your story, didnât probe deeper into your supposed exile.
As you walked through the familiar halls of the Red Keep, Tyland kept a protective arm around you, guiding you towards the chambers that had been hastily prepared for you. His anger at Cregan, his love for you, were palpable, and you leaned into that, praying silently that you could maintain this charade.
When you reached your chambers, Tyland dismissed the servants, wanting a private moment with you. He led you to a chair by the fire, urging you to sit, and then knelt before you, taking your hands in his. "You donât have to be afraid anymore. Weâll protect you. The Greens will win this war, and when they do, youâll be safe, and youâll have your place in the new order."
You nodded, your eyes fixed on his as you forced yourself to believe in the role you were playing. "I just want to do whatâs right, Tyland. I want to support our family, to do whatever I can to help."
He smiled, a hint of the boy you once knew shining through the hard exterior he had built over the years. "And you will, sister. You will. Weâll make sure of it."
As he stood to leave, you squeezed his hand, forcing yourself to look vulnerable, desperate for his protection. "Please⊠donât let anyone else know what happened. I donât want to be seen as a failure, as someone who couldnât hold onto their marriage."
Tyland nodded, his expression serious. "Of course. Weâll keep this between us. No one will think less of you for what that Northern brute did. Youâre a Lannister, and youâre my sister. Thatâs all that matters."
You nodded, offering him a weak smile as he left the room, closing the door softly behind him. The moment he was gone, you allowed yourself to collapse into the chair, your hands shaking with the weight of the deception you had just woven.
The Red Keep was your tie to home, but now it was a den of enemies, a place where every word, every action, could spell disaster if you were not careful. You prayed to the gods old and new, begging them for strength, for cunning, for the ability to play this dangerous game.
You had convinced Tyland, but there were many others who would not be so easily swayed. You had to be vigilant, careful, and above all, you had to keep Cregan in your heart. You would send him word when you could, slip information back to him and to Rhaenyra. But for now, you had to be the lioness among lions, playing your part in this deadly dance.
And all the while, you prayed that Tyland, or anyone else, would never see through the mask you had so carefully donned.
The grand halls of the Red Keep were as cold and imposing as ever, despite the ornate tapestries and blazing hearths that lined the corridors. You had grown accustomed to the hollow echo of your footsteps as you navigated this labyrinth of stone and secrets, but today, the weight of your task felt heavier than ever. The shadows seemed to cling to you, whispering of the dangers that lurked behind every corner.
In the privacy of your chambers, the faint scent of burning parchment still lingered in the air. You had just destroyed a letterâone that had arrived under the cover of darkness, smuggled into your hands by a loyal servant of the North. The letter had been from Cregan, your heart's anchor in this sea of deception.
You could still feel the warmth of his words lingering in your chest, a reminder of the love that bound you to him, even across the distance. He had written of his worry for you, of the nights he spent staring out over the frozen landscape of the North, wishing you were there beside him. He thanked you for your courage, for the sacrifices you were making, even as he admitted how much it pained him to have sent you away. His words were full of love, but also fearâa fear that you would be caught, that the game you were playing would turn deadly.
My brave lioness, he had written, I know the strength you carry within you, but I cannot help but worry for your safety. Every day, I pray to the old gods to watch over you, to keep you safe in the den of our enemies. You are my heart, my soul, and I am so proud of what you are doing, even though it tears at me to think of you so far away. Return to me, my love, when this is all over. Until then, be careful, and know that my thoughts are with you always.
You had read the letter several times, allowing yourself a few moments of vulnerability as you traced the familiar curves of his handwriting. But you knew that every word was dangerous, that keeping such a letter would be a risk you couldnât afford to take. So, with a heavy heart, you had burned it, watching as the flames consumed the last tangible connection to your husband.
Now, as you walked through the Red Keep, you carried the memory of that letter with you, tucked away in the deepest part of your heart. You had to be careful, more so than ever before. The walls had ears, and the slightest misstep could unravel everything.
As you rounded a corner, heading towards the private dining chamber where you were to meet Tyland for dinner, you caught the tail end of a conversation that sent a chill down your spine.
Aemond Targaryenâs voice, sharp and filled with frustration, echoed down the hallway. "Itâs impossible that Rhaenyra could have known about the ships. Someone must have tipped her off. The fleet from the Free Cities was our best chance to cut off her supply lines at the Gullet!"
You slowed your pace, your heart beginning to race as you listened. Larys Strongâs voice, oily and calm, responded in a tone that made your skin crawl. "It is troubling, my prince. We must consider that there may be a leak within our ranks, someone feeding information to the Blacks. We cannot afford any more missteps."
Your breath caught in your throat as you realized the gravity of their conversation. Rhaenyra had been warned about the shipsâa piece of information you had managed to send north discreetly through one of your own messages. If they suspected a spy in their midst, it would only be a matter of time before they began to scrutinize everyone, including you.
As you continued down the hallway, forcing yourself to remain calm, you felt a pair of eyes on you. You turned your head slightly and saw Aemond and Larys watching you from the shadows. Aemondâs single eye glinted in the dim light, his gaze sharp and assessing. Larysâs expression was unreadable, but his presence alone was enough to set your nerves on edge.
You met their gazes briefly, offering a small, polite nod as if nothing was amiss, before continuing on your way. The chill that ran down your spine was unlike anything you had felt before, a cold, creeping fear that settled deep in your bones. They had seen you, and you could only pray that they did not suspect you of anything more than passing by.
As soon as you were out of their sight, you quickened your pace, eager to reach the safety of your brotherâs chambers. Your heart pounded in your chest, but you forced yourself to maintain a composed exterior. You couldnât afford to show any sign of fear or guiltâespecially not now.
When you finally reached the private dining chamber, you found Tyland already seated at the table, a glass of wine in hand. He looked up as you entered, his expression softening into a smile.
"Sister," he greeted, rising to embrace you. "You look troubled. Is everything all right?"
You returned his embrace, taking comfort in the familiar scent of your brother, but the tension in your shoulders refused to ease. "Iâm just tired," you lied smoothly, offering him a weary smile. "The journey was long, and the atmosphere here⊠itâs oppressive and difficult to adjust in a few months."
Tyland nodded, leading you to the table where a simple but elegant meal had been laid out. "The war weighs heavily on all of us," he said, pouring you a glass of wine. "But youâre safe here, with family."
You accepted the wine, taking a small sip as you tried to push the encounter with Aemond and Larys from your mind. But the memory of their scrutiny lingered, a constant reminder of the precarious position you were in.
As the meal progressed, you made light conversation with Tyland, discussing family matters and memories of your childhood at Casterly Rock. He seemed genuinely pleased to have you back in his life, and his presence was a balm to your frayed nerves. But even as you laughed at his stories and shared in his plans for the future, you couldnât shake the feeling that you were walking on a knifeâs edge.
Every word you spoke, every gesture you made, was calculated to keep up the facade. Tyland must not suspect anythingânor could anyone else. You were playing a dangerous game, and the stakes were higher than ever.
As the night wore on, you excused yourself, claiming fatigue from the journey, and Tyland kissed your cheek warmly before you left. "Rest well, sister," he said, his voice filled with affection. "Weâll speak more in the morning."
You nodded, offering him a final smile before retreating to your chambers. Once inside, you closed the door and leaned against it, letting out a shaky breath. You had made it through another day, but the fear remained, gnawing at your resolve.
You crossed the room and knelt by the hearth, staring into the dying embers of the fire. Closing your eyes, you whispered a prayer to the gods old and new, asking for their protection, their guidance. You needed every ounce of strength and cunning to survive thisâto complete your mission and return to Creganâs arms.
As the night deepened, you crawled into bed, but sleep eluded you. Instead, you lay awake, staring at the ceiling, the weight of your deception pressing down on you like a heavy cloak. The memory of Creganâs letter played over in your mind, a reminder of why you were doing this, of who you were doing it for.
No matter the danger, no matter the fear, you would see this through. For Rhaenyra, for the North, and for the love you carried for the man waiting for you in Winterfell.
But as you drifted into an uneasy sleep, you couldnât help but wonder how much longer you could keep the truth hidden, how much longer you could play this deadly game before someone discovered the lioness in their midst was indeed a wolf.
The skies above Kingâs Landing were thick with the smoke of burning ships, the sound of clashing swords and the cries of the wounded echoing through the streets. The city had fallen, its walls breached by Rhaenyra's forces, and now the Blacks had taken control of the capital. The Red Keep, once a symbol of power and authority under the Greens, had become a battlefield, its halls filled with the triumphant and the defeated.
You stood in the throne room, surrounded by the black and red banners of House Targaryen, your heart heavy with a mixture of relief and dread. The mission you had embarked upon months ago had finally reached its conclusion. You had done what you had set out to doâplayed your part in the fall of the Greens from within their own stronghold. But the price of your success now weighed heavily on your soul.
At the far end of the hall, Rhaenyra Targaryen sat on the Iron Throne, her dark hair cascading down her back, her gaze as fierce as the dragons she commanded. Daemon stood beside her, his presence as menacing as ever, his eyes glittering with the thrill of victory. The throne room was filled with the murmurs of courtiers and soldiers alike, all of them awaiting the queenâs judgment on those who had opposed her.
As you approached the throne, your heart pounded in your chest, knowing what was about to happen, dreading it. Tyland had been captured along with the other members of the Green council, and now they awaited their fates. You had pleaded with the guards to see your brother, to speak to him, but they had refused. You had been kept away from him, kept in the dark until this moment.
"Your Grace," you said, your voice steady despite the storm raging inside you as you curtsied before Rhaenyra. "Kingâs Landing is yours, and the Greens have been defeated. I am at your service, as always."
Rhaenyraâs gaze softened slightly as she looked down at you, a rare moment of warmth in the midst of the chaos. "You have done much for our cause, my lady. Your loyalty and bravery have not gone unnoticed. It is thanks to your efforts that we were able to anticipate their moves, to strike where they were weakest. For that, you have my gratitude."
You bowed your head, accepting her praise, but the words felt hollow. Gratitude could not ease the tension that coiled in your gut, the fear that gripped your heart as you awaited her next words.
Rhaenyraâs gaze hardened again as she turned her attention to the prisoners being brought before her, shackled and defeated. Among them was your brother, Tyland, his face pale but his expression resolute. He had always been a proud man, and even now, in chains, he refused to show fear.
"Tyland Lannister," Rhaenyraâs voice rang out, echoing through the throne room, "you stand accused of treason against the rightful queen of the Seven Kingdoms. You served the usurper Aegon and conspired to destroy House Targaryen. For your crimes, there can be but one punishment."
You felt the blood drain from your face as the words you had feared most were spoken. "No," you whispered, barely audible, before finding your voice and stepping forward, your heart in your throat. "Your Grace, please, I beg you to spare him."
The entire hall seemed to hold its breath as you spoke, all eyes turning to you. Rhaenyraâs gaze was sharp, questioning. "He is a traitor, my lady. His actions led to the deaths of many, and he must answer for them."
You sank to your knees, desperation in your voice as you pleaded for your brotherâs life. "He is my brother, Your Grace. He may have been misguided, but he did what he believed was right, just as we all have. I know his loyalty was to the wrong cause, but I beg you to show mercy. Let him live, and I swear he will never pose a threat to you again. He is all I have left of my family."
Tylandâs eyes met yours, and for the first time since you had reunited in Kingâs Landing, you saw something break in his stern facade. The love and concern in his gaze were unmistakable, and you felt your heart wrench as you saw your brotherâthe man who had always protected you, who had stood by you when no one else didânow reduced to this.
Rhaenyraâs expression remained impassive, but you could see the conflict in her eyes. She was a queen, but she was also a mother, a sister. She knew what it was to love and to lose, to be torn between duty and family.
"You ask much of me, my lady," Rhaenyra said slowly, her voice measured. "Tyland Lannisterâs hands are stained with the blood of my loyal followers. Mercy for him could be seen as weakness, a precedent that might encourage others to rise against me."
Daemonâs gaze flickered to you, then to Tyland, and back to Rhaenyra. His voice, when he spoke, was cold and calculating. "Mercy is a luxury we cannot afford in these times, Rhaenyra. Traitors must be dealt with swiftly, without exception."
Tears blurred your vision, but you refused to let them fall. You couldnât afford to be weak now, not when your brotherâs life hung in the balance. "Please, Your Grace," you implored, "I will do anything you ask of me. Anything. Just spare him. I will leave the capital, return to the North, or anywhere else you command. I will serve you however you wish, but please, do not take him from me."
The silence that followed your plea was deafening. Rhaenyra looked at you, truly looked at you, and you could see the wheels turning in her mind, weighing your words, considering the options. You held your breath, praying that the love you had for your brother, and the service you had given to her cause, would be enough to sway her.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Rhaenyra spoke. "Tyland Lannister has committed grave crimes against the realm, crimes that warrant death. But in recognition of the service you have rendered to my cause, I will grant him his life."Â
A gasp of relief escaped your lips, and you bowed your head in gratitude, tears now streaming down your face. "Thank you, Your Grace. Thank you."
"But know this," Rhaenyra continued, her voice stern and unwavering. "He will live, but his life will be one of exile and dishonor. He will be stripped of his titles and lands, and he will be sent to the Wall. He will live out his days in the service of the Nightâs Watch, far from here. He will never again set foot in the South."
You nodded, unable to speak, overwhelmed with a mix of relief and sorrow. It was a harsh sentence, but it was life. Tyland would live, and for that, you were endlessly grateful.
Tyland was led away, his eyes lingering on you until he disappeared from view. You rose to your feet, still trembling, and Rhaenyra gestured for you to approach the throne.Â
"You have done much for me, and for that, you have my thanks," she said quietly, so only you could hear. "But remember, this mercy I have granted comes with a cost. Loyalty must be earned and maintained. See to it that you do not waver."
You met her gaze, understanding the weight of her words. "I will not forget, Your Grace."
With that, you turned and left the throne room, your heart heavy but filled with a sense of purpose. Tyland would live, and that was more than you had dared to hope for. But the road ahead would be long and treacherous, for both of you. You had made sacrifices, and you would have to make more. But as long as you could keep the people you loved safe, it would all be worth it.
As you walked through the halls of the Red Keep, the echoes of your footsteps accompanied by the distant sounds of a city under new rule, you prayed once more to the gods old and new. You had survived this day, but there would be many more challenges ahead. And through it all, you would need to stay strong, for yourself, for your brother, and for the North that still awaited your return.
The road to the North was long and arduous, the chill of autumn creeping steadily into the bones of everyone who traveled it. The once green fields had turned to barren landscapes, the sky a constant blanket of grey. You sat in the carriage, wrapped in furs, the bitter cold seeping through the heavy fabric. Beside you, Tyland sat quietly, his expression unreadable as he stared out the window at the bleak countryside.
The silence between you had stretched on for days, the weight of everything that had happened in Kingâs Landing hanging heavy in the air. You had saved his life, but at a cost. Tyland had lost everythingâhis titles, his lands, his place in the South. And now, he was being sent to the Wall, to a life of exile and duty in the farthest reaches of the realm. You knew he struggled with the reality of his new fate, and the words he had not yet spoken weighed on your heart.
As the carriage rumbled along the rough road, you finally mustered the courage to speak, breaking the silence that had settled between you like a shroud. "Tyland," you began, your voice soft but steady, "I know this is not the life you envisioned for yourself. Iâm sorry for what has happened, for the choices that led us here."
Tyland turned his gaze from the window to you, his eyes searching your face for a moment before he sighed, a heavy sound filled with all the emotions he had kept bottled up. "You did what you thought was right," he said finally, his voice tinged with bitterness but also a hint of resignation. "You always were the clever one, the one who saw the bigger picture. But I canât say Iâm not angry, or that Iâm not filled with regret."
You nodded, understanding his feelings all too well. "I had to make a choice, Tyland. I couldnât let you die, not when there was another way. But I know the Wall is not what you wanted, and for that, I am sorry."
He leaned back against the cushioned seat, rubbing a hand over his face as if trying to wipe away the weariness of the past few months. "The Wall," he muttered, almost to himself. "Itâs a place for criminals, for bastards, for those who have nothing left to lose. And now I am one of them."
"But youâre alive," you said gently, reaching out to take his hand in yours. "And youâre still a Lannister, no matter where you go. The North may be harsh, but there is honor in serving at the Wall, especially now that winter is coming. The realm will need men like you, strong and capable, to defend it."
Tyland looked at your hand in his, then back at you, a shadow of a smile playing at the corners of his lips. "You always did have a way of making the worst situations seem bearable. I suppose thatâs why youâre still alive, too."
You smiled back, though it didnât quite reach your eyes. "We do what we must to survive, Tyland. But that doesnât mean we have to face it alone."
The rest of the journey was spent in a tentative peace, the bond between you and Tyland slowly beginning to heal, though it would never be the same. He had accepted his fate, though with a heavy heart, and you had accepted the burden of knowing that your actions had brought him to this point. But as the carriage drew closer to Winterfell, you couldnât help but feel a sense of relief.
When Winterfell finally came into view, its ancient walls standing tall against the sky, you felt a wave of emotion wash over you. This was home now, the place where you had found love and purpose, and where you would begin the next chapter of your life. As the carriage rolled through the gates, you could see the figures waiting in the courtyardâCregan among them, his tall, broad-shouldered form unmistakable.
The carriage came to a stop, and before you could even step out, Cregan was there, pulling the door open and helping you down. His hands were warm, his touch grounding you as he pulled you into a tight embrace. You buried your face in his chest, breathing in the familiar scent of pine and cold air that clung to him.
"I missed you," you whispered, your voice muffled against his furs.
"And I you," he replied, his voice thick with emotion as he held you close. "Every day, every night, I thought of you. But now youâre here, and thatâs all that matters."
You pulled back slightly, just enough to look up into his eyes. "I brought Tyland with me. Rhaenyra spared his life, but she sent him to the Wall."
Creganâs gaze shifted to where Tyland was stepping out of the carriage, his expression unreadable. He nodded in acknowledgment, though there was no warmth in his eyes. "Lord Lannister," he greeted, his tone respectful but formal.
Tyland straightened, meeting Creganâs gaze with a mixture of pride and resignation. "Lord Stark," he replied, bowing his head slightly. "Iâm here to serve, as ordered."
Cregan studied him for a moment, then nodded. "The Wall is not a punishment, Tyland, but an honor. The Nightâs Watch may be seen as a place for those with no other options, but the truth is, itâs a place for men who understand the weight of duty. The realm needs protectors, especially now, with winter coming. You will find purpose there, and in time, perhaps even a sense of belonging."
Tylandâs eyes flickered with something unreadable, but he nodded in agreement. "I will do my duty," he said quietly, his voice carrying a note of determination. "If this is my fate, then I will embrace it."
Creganâs expression softened slightly, and he extended his hand to Tyland. "Then you have my respect, and the respect of the North. You are welcome in Winterfell until you take the black."
Tyland accepted the handshake, and for a moment, the two men stood in silent understanding. You felt a sense of relief wash over youâthere was no animosity here, only a shared understanding of the burdens they both carried.
As the three of you made your way inside Winterfell, the warmth of the great hall enveloped you, the familiar scents of wood smoke and roasted meat filling the air. You felt a sense of peace settling over you, knowing that you had done what you could to protect your family, and that here, in the North, you would find the strength to face whatever came next.
That evening, you and Cregan sat together by the fire, the weight of the past few months slowly lifting as you shared stories of what had transpired. Tyland joined you, his demeanor more relaxed than it had been since his capture. The three of you spoke of the future, of the challenges that lay ahead, but also of the hope that lingered just beyond the horizon.
As the fire crackled and the shadows danced on the stone walls, you felt a deep sense of contentment. The North was harsh and unforgiving, but it was also a place of honor, of loyalty, and of love.
The warmth of the fire had long since faded, leaving only the soft glow of embers to illuminate the room. The heavy furs that covered the bed provided a cocoon of warmth, sheltering you from the cold that seeped in through the stone walls of Winterfell. Outside, the wind howled, a reminder of the harshness of the North, but here, in Creganâs arms, you felt only the warmth of his body against yours.
The two of you lay entwined beneath the blankets, your skin still tingling from the intensity of your lovemaking. It had been so long since you had been together like this, since you had felt the press of his body against yours, the way his hands knew every curve and hollow of your form. You had missed thisâmissed himâwith an ache that had grown unbearable during your time apart.
Creganâs fingers traced lazy patterns along your spine, his touch light but possessive, as if he was reminding himself that you were truly here, that you were his once more. You pressed closer to him, your head resting on his broad chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear. It was a sound that had become your anchor, a reminder that you were home.
"Youâre quiet," Cregan murmured, his voice rough with the remnants of sleep. His hand slid up to cup the back of your neck, his thumb brushing gently against your skin. "Whatâs on your mind, my love?"
You closed your eyes, savoring the warmth of his touch, the safety of his embrace. "Iâm just⊠grateful," you whispered, your voice barely more than a breath. "Grateful to be here, with you. I missed this, missed us."
Cregan shifted slightly, rolling onto his side so that he could face you, his dark eyes searching yours in the dim light. "I missed you too," he said, his voice low and full of emotion. "Every day you were gone, I thought of you. Wondered if you were safe, if you were thinking of me as much as I was thinking of you."
You reached up, your fingers brushing the stubble on his jaw, feeling the roughness beneath your fingertips. "You were always on my mind," you confessed, your voice trembling slightly with the weight of your emotions. "There were times I didnât know if Iâd make it back, but the thought of you, of us⊠it kept me going."
His expression softened, and he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment. "Youâre here now," he whispered against your skin. "And I wonât let anything take you away from me again."
You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer, needing the reassurance of his presence. "I donât want to be apart from you ever again," you said, your voice fierce with determination. "Iâll do whatever it takes to stay here, with you, in the North. This is where I belong, where we belong."
Creganâs hand moved to cradle your face, his thumb brushing away a stray tear that had slipped down your cheek. "Youâre my wife, my love," he said, his voice steady and sure. "Nothing will keep us apart again. Weâve been through too much, and weâre stronger for it. This is our home now, and weâll face whatever comes together."
You nodded, feeling a sense of peace settle over you. It was trueâtogether, you could face anything. The challenges you had overcome, the dangers you had braved, had only strengthened the bond between you. And now, here in the safety of Winterfell, in the warmth of Creganâs arms, you knew that you could finally allow yourself to rest, to trust that you were where you were meant to be.
Creganâs lips found yours again, the kiss slow and tender, full of the love and longing that had built up during your time apart. You melted into him, your fingers tangling in his hair as you deepened the kiss, wanting to lose yourself in the warmth and comfort of his embrace.
When you finally pulled away, breathless and flushed, you rested your forehead against his, your eyes closed as you savored the closeness between you. "I love you," you whispered, the words slipping out as naturally as a breath.
"I love you too," Cregan replied, his voice rough with emotion. "More than anything. More than the North, more than duty, more than life itself."
You smiled, feeling the truth of his words settle deep within your heart. There was nothing more important than this, than the love you shared, the life you were building together. And after everything you had been through, you knew that you were ready to face whatever the future held, as long as you had him by your side.
The two of you lay together in silence for a while, simply enjoying the warmth of each otherâs presence, the quiet intimacy that had been so hard-won. The world outside might be harsh and unforgiving, but here, in this moment, you were safe. You were loved.
As you drifted off to sleep, your head resting on Creganâs chest once more, you knew that whatever challenges lay ahead, you would face them with the strength of the North in your veins and the love of your husband in your heart. And that, you knew, would be enough.
#house of the dragon#hotd#hotd x female reader#hotd x you#hotd x y/n#hotd x reader#cregan x y/n#hotd cregan#cregan x you#cregan x reader#cregan stark#house lannister
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Looked to the Sky - Chapter 18
Summary:Â
Eira Archeron was neither a Valkyrie, nor a Seer, nor the High Lady of the Night Court. She was, however, Azrielâs mate with her own mysterious, untrained powers.
Also known as: Azriel tries to court his mate the human way.
Warnings:Â
THIS IS THE LIGHTNING IN A BOTTLE SEQUEL! SO READ THAT FIRST IF YOU WANNA READ THIS ONE OTHERWISE THIS MAKES NO SENSE!
Amren Bashing, Low Self Esteem and without @k-godling this would have never happened.
(super pretty dividers by @tsunami-of-tears)
The first time Azriel heard Eira play the harp...was Winter Solstice Eve. She had moved the instruments into one corner of the Living Room and was contently plucking the strings, Nyx on her lap.
Azriel watched from where he stood in the doorway as his mate strummed the harp, the sweet, lovely sounds filling the room. She gently bounced Nyx to the sound of the harp's music, Nyx's head bobbing with each movement.
Nyx was having the time of his life if his bright grin was anything to go by.
Azriel smiled gently as he watched the scene. Eira looked so...so happy, content, sitting there and playing her harp with Nyx on her lap. They were both grinning like fools, and Azriel's smile widened when Eira's gaze flicked up and landed on him.
"Happy Solstice Eve," his mate said softly, continuing the song, the last few notes ringing out in the room. It was decorated with pine garlands and dark ribbons, with little twinkling fae lights in the decorations.
He chuckled at her soft murmur, striding over to them, his gaze flickering across the living room as he moved, taking note of the way Eira had decorated the room. He knew it had been her because he had spent an evening a few days ago helping her string up the pine garlands and tying the bows she had made onto them.Â
"And a very Happy Solstice Eve to you as well, my love," he replied, resting a hand on her shoulder to give it a light squeeze as he leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek. "And you, Nyxie-" he added, grinning at his nephew.
Nyx giggled gleefully at him, reaching out for him with a babble that vaguely seemed to be an attempt at a greeting.
Azriel gently plucked him from Eira's grasp and tossed him into the air in a move that was a little more reckless than usual, catching the babe again a moment later and pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"I am surprised you aren't in the kitchen baking," he told Eira, who smiled as she watched him and Nyx play.
"Feyre told me to relax," she answered with a sigh. "I am not allowed to enter the kitchen on threat of no presents."
"Well, I suppose we'll have no cake this year..." he muttered with mock disappointment, bouncing Nyx a little in his arms and eliciting a giggle from his nephew.
Eira just snorted. "Have some trust in me, love. I made cookies days ago."
"Oh, did you?" he inquired, bouncing Nyx in one arm. "And where in the house did you hide these baked goods, Sweetheart?"
"Far from Cassian, hopefully," she muttered under her breath. "I have the shadows protecting them."
Azriel chuckled, the sound low and soft. "A wise choice," he agreed. "Or else Cassian would've devoured them all in five minutes."
Nyx giggled then, seemingly finding the conversation funny, and Azriel bounced him in his arms again, pressing another kiss to the baby's cheek.
"Yes, yes, Nyxie, this is all very amusing," he said with a grin, resting the baby on his hip as he glanced down at his mate, still sat by the harp. "Can you play another song, Eira?"
Eira smiled at him, a bright blush sweeping across her cheeks. "Of course," she answered, picking up the harp again, her fingers shifting to a different position on the strings.
Her fingers started to move across the harp's strings, and another sweet, lilting tune filled the room, a smile on his mate's face as she played.
Azriel listened silently, his gaze shifting between Eira - who was still blushing adorably - and Nyx, who was watching her play with wide, fascinated eyes. The baby's head lolled and bobbed to the beat of the music, his eyes tracking his aunt's fingers as they shifted across the harp's strings.
The rest of their family decided to trickle in slowly, even Varian and Amren deciding to show up.
Nyx squirmed in Azriel's arms as people began to fill the room, giggling eagerly and watching the guests with excited little squeaks and babbles.
Eira continued playing softly, nearly absentmindedly, smiling at Nesta as her sister found a seat next to her.
"Only three more days," Nesta murmured and Eira gave her a happy little grin.
"Three more days," she agreed, her excitement apparent in her voice.
Azriel heard her words, and they sent a small jolt of something - anticipation, he realised - through his chest. Three more days...
Nesta caught his eye, raising a brow meaningfully with a smirk on her face that he ignored.
"That does sound better than your screeching," Amren said suddenly and Eira's hands froze. A growl rose up in his throat. He opened his mouth to respond, but Eira was quicker than him.Â
"I'd like to see you play the harp, Amren." she sniped, and oh by the stars above, the sharpness and the snark in his normally sweet mate's voice was so different, but in a...good way. It was unexpected, but he liked it more than he expected.
"Touchy," Amren answered, but it seemed more like a remark than a real complaint. She had a strangely...amused expression on her face that even Azriel could not interpret, but the look only lasted for a moment before it disappeared again.  "You gained some claws," Amren complimented.
"Amren," Rhys said in a warning tone.
"What?" Amren asked, turning to him with feigned innocence in her eyes.
Rhys just rolled his eyes, shaking his head and muttering something that sounded suspiciously like unbelievable.
"Are you done now, Amren?" Eira asked, her voice icy. "I am still waiting on an apology for last time."
"Whatever for?" Amren said with a scoff. Azriel felt the growl in his throat grow louder.
"Oh, I don't know," Eira said in a mock-thoughtful tone. "Maybe for the fact that you called me a waste? That you wanted to turn me into a weapon? Maybe for that? Maybe for upsetting me so much that I winnowed straight into Illyria and burned down a forest?!"
"I didn't say it because I disliked you," Amren said with a huff. "You're so damn...soft. Vulnerable, even. And you have unimaginable power at your fingertips. Not using it is a waste."
A low snarl rose up in Azriel's throat, and he was considering going over there to tear the silver-eyed menace limb from limb.
Eira's hands stilled on her harp, her expression growing cold. Her eyes were like ice, glimmering with suppressed anger as she said, "Then it's a good thing your opinion of me means so little."
A smirk appeared on Amren's face. "You used to fear me," she purred. "You used to run when you saw me coming. But now...now you're a little bit more confident, are you?"
"I have more to fight for, to live for," Eira said coldly.
"Oh, yes." Amren's smirk widened. "I was wondering when you'd..."
That's how far she came. A moment later, lightning crackled in the palm of Eira's hand
"Finish that sentence, Amren." Eira hissed, and the lightning in her hand crackled and glowed, shining like silver in the light of the room.
The look on Amren's face suddenly changed as she stared, almost dumbstruck, at the lightning in Eira's hand. She was, for the first time since Azriel knew her, shocked into silence
Rhys' eyebrows rose as he took in the situation. On one hand, Feyre was giggling into Rhys' shoulder at the sight of Eira holding lightning. On the other...well, Azriel would not stand for anyone disrespecting his mate. Not when they were already pushing her this far.
A glance around the room showed that Feyre and Cassian were thoroughly interested in the scene in front of them. Nesta was watching Eira with something akin to awe, and Mor was leaning against a bookshelf with a slightly amused smile on her face.
Azriel turned his gaze back to his still-fuming mate and the shocked, nearly apprehensive Amren, the baby on his hip still babbling and giggling happily, blissfully oblivious to the scene in front of him.
"My, my, you are feisty today," Amren breathed, her composure back in place with an almost forced casualness.
"And you're far more annoying than usual today," Eira retorted.
The tension in the room was so thick, that Azriel was half-convinced that you could've reached out a hand and physically touched it.
"You have grown bold," Amren said conversationally, seemingly unbothered by the lightning Eira was still holding.
But Azriel could see the flicker of something in her eyes. Something...not quite fear, but similar. She was slightly nervous in the face of Eira's unexpected anger.
"Amren, that's enough," Feyre cut in.
Feyre's voice echoed through the room, stern and commanding. Amren's head whirled around to peer at her as Feyre stared back with a firm gaze of her own.
"No more," she said firmly, her eyes flickering between Amren and Eira.
"I just wanted a peek at her power."
Azriel's eyes darkened. Eira clenched her hand into a fist, the lightning in her hand vanishing as she muttered angrily, "Next time, I won't just give you a peek."
Amren huffed. "Are you threatening me?"
Azriel growled, low and sharp, handing Nyx to Nesta. "She isn't. I am," Azriel snapped. "Either you treat my mate with respect or we will be having a very different sort of conversation."
Amren looked up at him, a flicker of surprise in her silver eyes. It was gone the next moment, but she wisely made the choice to not say anything.
Meanwhile, Eira was still bristling, tension written across her face as she took a deep breath, clearly trying to calm herself.
"I apologise," Amren said stiffly.
Eira's eyebrows rose, startled by Amren's unexpected apology.
A tense silence followed, but it broke a moment later when Azriel said, "That is something you don't hear often, Amren."
Amren shot him a glare, but there was no real malice behind it.
A huff of agreement came from Rhys, and Feyre muttered something that sounded suspiciously like not going to get used to this.
For once, Azriel thought he had to agree with his friend. Amren actually apologising, especially to someone like Eira... He doubted they'd see that sight ever again.
It was something that much was certain.
Cassian suddenly let out a snicker, and they all turned to look at him.
"What?" he asked, grinning in their direction. "That Lightning is badass!"
Feyre chuckled as well, but it quickly turned into laughter as other people chimed in. Even Varian gave an amused chuckle that sounded surprisingly sincere coming from him.
Eira's cheeks turned a little red, as they always did when attention was focused on her.
She glanced up at him, a mixture of embarrassment and something like pleasure at the little caress, and he had to bite back a smile.
His mate, still so shy when confronted with praise or attention.
Azriel kept his gaze on her for a while longer, and his smile widened a little when she let out a shaky sigh.
Her curls were as beautiful as always, and she was dressed in a gown, silver threading winding across the dark velvet of the skirt. On every other female, the dress would've simply been pretty. On Eira, it was breathtaking.
Ours, whispered the shadows, and Azriel had to agree.
She was his in every way- his mate, his partner, his family. He wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.
"Can I...May I give you your present already? I think you can use it tomorrow," she asked him softly as the evening came to a close.
Azriel turned his attention back to her, hearing the quiet but excited tone in her voice. She truly was too sweet.
"Of course," he answered with a soft smile. "But what is it?"
Eira just gave him a smile, her eyes sparkling with excitement, and his heart started beating a little faster in anticipation. He'd never seen her this...eager about anything before.
"Something I hope you'll enjoy," she said mysteriously, standing up and grabbing his hand, tugging him to his feet. "But you have to come with me."
She led him up to her room, which was halfway packed up, most of her things already up at the House that she had christened Bluebell Cottage.
Azriel glanced around the room, a flicker of sadness going through him at the sight of the already half-emptied room.
But he had to admit, there was a strange sense of... anticipation in his chest.Â
The package was soft and wrapped in red wrapping paper. Azriel took the package from her, his eyebrows rising as he felt how soft it was.
"What's in it?" he asked with a hint of curiosity and excitement.
"Unwrap it," she answered.
He let out a little hum, carefully working to open the wrapping without tearing it too much. He could feel Eira's excitement rising as he slowly worked his way through the wrapping, and his curiosity grew as well.
He could hear a few amused chuckles from the shadows, as some of them seemed to know what was in the wrapping.
A moment later, there was a pair of buttery soft, black leather gloves in his hands. He could only stare at them for a moment.
"Your hands start to hurt you more when it gets cold outside," Eira explained quietly. "I lined them with the offcuts from the second pelt you gave me. And I had them enchanted so that they were water resistant."
Azriel stared, shocked and silent, as he held the gloves in his hands. He could tell without even putting them on that they would be perfect- not just for the cold, but also fit snugly around his scarred fingers like they'd been made for him.
He could feel Eira's nerves increasing as he stared at her in shocked disbelief, almost like she was worried about his reaction.
It was an absolutely... perfect gift, and he knew that he could never ever repay her for this. That, for once, he didn't know what to say.
He had never had someone... think about him like this, someone who'd even care about something like the scars on his hands.
"Was that alright?" she asked worriedly.
"You made them for me," he said weakly, not a question.
Eira's eyes widened a little, and he realised that she thought that he was upset.
"Of course it's alright," he said quickly, staring down at the gloves in his hands.
His mate, his perfect kind and sweet and caring mate... He couldn't comprehend how lucky he was to have found her.
But Eira didn't look entirely sure, her anxious expression still on her face as she asked, "Do... do you like them?"
He tore his gaze away from the gloves and looked up at her.
"Like them?" he repeated, his voice soft and slightly awed. "Eira, they're perfect."
The anxiety on Eira's face vanished at his words, replaced with an adorable mixture of relief and excitement.
"You do?" she said, her voice eager and her eyes sparkling as she watched him hold the gloves in his hands.
Azriel just nodded, gently setting the gloves down on her still-untouched bed. He had to fight back the urge to take her into his arms right there and then.
"What did you make out of the rest?" he asked her. She looked at him with wide eyes. âYou made the shrug for yourself. You made me the gloves. What else did you make?â
Eira gave him a slow smile.
"You'll see," she said quietly. "Hopefully soon. And now I expect you to win that Snowball Fight tomorrow.â
Azriel raised an eyebrow, both at the change of topic and at the implication of winning that Snowball Fight.
"And what will I get if I win?" he asked, a smirk slowly spreading across his face.
Eira took on a thoughtful expression as if she was actually thinking about his question.
"I don't know," she said slowly, looking like she was considering the idea. "What do you want from me if you win?"
Azriel shrugged casually, trying to ignore the eager, almost greedy shadows.
âA Kiss.â
***
Her sister's birthday dawned bright early, mostly because Eira was already in the kitchen by dawn. It did mean that she got to kiss Azriel goodbye though, before he, Rhys and Cassian disappeared to their annual Snowball Fight...and she got to finish the finishing touches on Feyre's birthday cake.
It was a beautiful morning, one of those days that just seemed perfect, and Eira hummed to herself cheerfully as she finished decorating Feyre's birthday cake.
Despite the fact that her sister was a literal High Lady, she had insisted that her birthday be a quiet affair, no huge celebration or party, just the inner circle and the family.
"Do you...need help?" Nesta's voice came from the doorway.
Eira paused in her decorating, glancing up to find Nesta standing in the doorway.
"I wouldn't say no to the help," she answered with a smile, waving her sister over.
Nesta came over to the counter, silently watching as Eira finished the last touches on the cake.
"It looks good," Nesta said admiringly, studying the cake's smooth dark chocolate surface and the bright silver icing.
"I did stars this year," she said brightly.
"So I see," Nesta said, studying the various silver stars that had been carefully piped onto the cake's surface.
"I think I might've made it a bit too plain, though," Eira said as she looked it over. "I should've added a few more,."
"It looks good as it is," Nesta said, her expression slightly bewildered at the sight of her younger sister worrying over cake decorations. "Feyre will love it, believe me."
"Right," Eira said, taking a step back and studying the cake with a critical eye. "Yes, I think this works."
Nesta looked slightly amused at the way she was looking at the cake, almost studying it, and shook her head, muttering faintly, "You're worse than Feyre with her painting, I swear."
"You did manage to make yourself very clear to Amren though," Nesta said calmly. "I am proud of you."
"I wasn't trying to," she mumbled, heat rising in her cheeks as Nesta chuckled softly. "I was just, y'know, frustrated. I guess I spoke more than I should've."
"You don't have to apologize for putting her in her place," Nesta said, looking amused at the memory of Eira's outburst the previous day. "It was a long time coming, honestly."
"I just-" Eira paused, fiddling with the end of her sleeves.
"It just really made me angry, that she was saying all those things," she mumbled. "I never did anything to her."
"That's because you've always been nice ," Nesta said with a sigh, her gaze and voice surprisingly fond. "In a way that a lot of people tend to overlook. But Amren was pushing it yesterday, and I'm just glad you finally snapped at her."
"It was about time, in my opinion," Feyre chimed in from the doorway, where she was cradling Nyx against her chest. "Amren's been treating you like a doormat for long enough."
"You aren't supposed to be in here!" Eira complained. "Happy Birthday!"
Feyre just smiled, not bothering to look apologetic at all as she said, "Thank you. This looks great."
Nesta just laughed as well, and Eira huffed, but there was no real displeasure in her expression.
"Go away," she said firmly to her sister, shooing both Feyre and Nesta out of the kitchen. "No birthday girl of mine is going to see her cake before they're supposed to."
Feyre let out a mock-offended gasp, but obeyed anyways, ducking out of the kitchen with Nyx still in her arms.
"Spoilsport," she called out over her shoulder, grinning.
Eira just rolled her eyes, even when she was already pulling out all the makings for breakfast.
They spent most of the day playing with Nyx, before Azriel, Rhys and Cassian arrived back, Azriel with his 200th victory in tow.
The three males arrived back not long after lunch time, their clothes rumpled and hair messy from the snowball fight.
Cassian and Rhys headed for the chairs, while Azriel made a beeline for her, looking slightly predatory in a way that made her heart beat faster.
She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks under his gaze, his gaze looking like he was ready to drag her off to a privatepart of the house.
She suppressed the urge to shiver, instead asking with forced innocence, "Did you boys have fun?"
"We certainly did," Azriel answered, his voice a low rumble as he closed the distance between them and gripped the waist, pulling her into his arms.
She let out a soft gasp as she landed against his chest, one of his hands resting on her hip.
"We had a wonderful game," Rhys chimed in from one of the couches, earning an annoyed muttering from Cassian.
"Wonderfully brutal, you mean," Cassian said dryly. "I swear, we were closer to frostbite than we were to a friendly match."
"Sounds like someone is just being a sore loser," Rhys said calmly, earning a scoff from Cassian.
"I am not!" he protested, looking more like a child whose favourite toy has been taken away than a centuries-old warrior.
"Want to help me in the kitchen?" she said quickly.
Azriel shot a warning glare at both Rhys and Cassian, before tightening his grip on her waist and nodding.
"Of course," he said, his voice so low that it rumbled in his chest.
They did manage it into the kitchen. And then his hands were suddenly all over her.
Azriel backed her up against the wall as soon as the door shut behind them, trapping her against the wall with his body.
The shadows swirled around them in an almost excited way, filling the room and blocking out the sounds of the voices in the other room.
"You owe me a kiss," he said, his voice a low rumble against the skin of her neck as he leaned down to press kisses against her neck. She shivered at the feeling of his lips on her skin, the heat of his body pressed up against hers. "I won."
"I guess I do," she answered breathlessly, wrapping her arms around his neck and gently running her fingers through the short, soft hair at the base of his head.
His mouth moved against her neck, his lips teasing and tempting, and she had to stifle a soft moan as his hands gripped her hips.
The shadows were almost dancing around them, swirling like they were as eager as she was. His hands were gripping her hips with a possession that made her feel almost faint with want, and the heat in her lower belly was spreading like wildfire throughout her body.
It was like a flame, igniting every inch of her body as his mouth moved up to press against her jaw, his lips brushing against her skin. She was shaking with the effort of holding back her moans, with the effort of holding herself together.
It was harder than she'd expected, with him so close, his presence almost overwhelming and his touch devastatingly good.
His mouth moved across her cheek, his breathing a low growl as he said, "I love it when you get flushed like this."
She shivered heavily, her hands gripping the collar of his shirt as he pressed his hips against hers in a way that made her pant helplessly.
And then he kissed her lips. Fitted his mouth over hers, his tongue plundering her mouth with no forewarning.
And she responded instantly, opening her mouth and letting his tongue into her mouth. Her mind was going hazy, her thoughts disappearing in an instant as she clutched at his shirt and pressed her body closer to his.
His hands were gripping at her hips like iron, forcing her body to stay still and taking as he claimed her mouth with a possessive ferocity.
She was completely at his mercy, shaking against him as he completely overwhelmed her with the force of his kiss.
His tongue was everywhere in her mouth, sweeping in and claiming her mouth as his own. She let out a desperate moan, the noise swallowed up by his mouth as his body pressed her up against the wall.
She was almost mindless with desire, her every thought and sense focused only on the feel of him against her, on the way his hands were gripping her hips and the hot, heavy feel of his body against hers.
And then he pulled back, panting. Resting his forehead against hers.
She was as flushed as he was, her lips slick and swollen from his kiss as she struggled to get her breathing under control.
His forehead was pressed against hers, the two of them just standing there, trying to catch their breath, as the shadows danced around them.
"Three days," he whispered.
"Three days," she echoed.
She rested her head back against the wall, her eyes fluttering shut as she let out a weary sigh.
Her heart was still racing, the heat in her lower abdomen aching like a throb, but they couldn't simply disappear to a private room when they were surrounded by the entire inner circle.
And she was not going to have her first time with Azriel somewhere public.
So instead, she focused on getting her breathing back under control, the heat of his body still overwhelming.
She forced her eyes open, studying his face. He was just as flushed as she was, his breathing heavy, but his eyes...his eyes were still dark and burning fiercely.
"You still owe me a solstice gift," she said with a weak grin.
Azriel managed a strained chuckle, lifting one hand up to cup her face and brush his thumb over her lip like he couldn't resist touching her.
"Indeed I do," he said, his voice still low and husky. "Let's see if we are already at the gift giving portion of the evening.
They heard the sound of laughter drifting in from the sitting room, and Azriel let out a rueful sigh, leaning his forehead against herss again.
"We should probably go back out to the others," he said quietly, his thumb still rubbing against her lip.
She almost wanted to disagree, to tell him that she wanted to stay right where they were. But reluctantly, she nodded in agreement, letting out a sigh of her own as she pushed herself off the wall.
Azriel's hands slid from her waist and hips, but he took her hand as they made their way back out of the kitchen.
They reappeared in the doorway, and Eira had to force down a flush as all of the others turned to look at them, as if they knew exactly what had been going on in the kitchen.
No one commented though, either because they didn't actually know or because they were being tactful for once, and instead, Rhys simply lifted the bottle of wine and said, "There you are. Come and sit down already."
But Azriel just led Eira over to one of the couches and sank down beside her, one arm wrapping around her shoulder to pull her closer. Not that she was resisting at all.
Eira just let herself lean against Azriel, resting her head on his shoulder and enjoying the solid warmth of his touch.
Gifts were exchanged, for Feyre's birthday and for Winter Solstice.
The wrapping paper piled up as more gifts were handed out, Nyx having more fun with the paper than his actually toys and Eira managed to find herself sitting almost on Azriel's lap with his arm still around her.
Not that she was complaining. If anything, she was simply enjoying the close contact and the heat of his body.
There were little piles of gifts before each of them. Eira was quite proud of the embroidered hair ribbons she had made for Nesta, Valkyrie white silk with little silver flames all over them, while Feyre had gotten an embroidered silk scarf. She had made other things, of course, other than the gloves she had already given to Azriel. A bright red silk dressing gown for Mor, even Cassian had gotten a new leather sheath for his daggers, while she had made a notebook cover for Rhys.
The others seemed to appreciate the gifts for the most part, with Mor giving her an overly dramatic show of affection as thanks.Â
Mor herself had oviously decided to go the route of extravagance that year...with Cassian giving an offended noise at the box she handed him, glaring at it and protesting, "I don't need a face cream."
Which only made the rest of the group burst out laughing, even Amren managing a smirk.
"You certainly need something for those scars and freckles, darling," Mor said with a smirk. "I can see your skin deteriorating as we speak."
"It is not deteriorating," Cassian protested. "That's just the rugged look that I was going for."
Eira bit back a laugh at that, still staring at the dagger Cassian had given her, with a wink and the words "Not quite as cool as lightning. But I think Azriel would be happy to teach you."
She was still staring down at the dagger and the scabbard when Azriel gently leaned down to murmur in her ear, "You like it?"
His voice was a low rumble that thrummed through her body, and she almost shivered at the sound.
Eira didn't hate it. Not as much as she had thought she would. She wasn't quite sure if she wanted to learn to fight. But maybe she didn't need to. maybe she could just learn how to defend herself.
She could feel Azriel watching her closely, and she was sure that he could probably feel the tension in her body.
But she still nodded slightly in response to his question, her eyes fixed on the dagger and scabbard in her hands. And he seemed to get the message, resting his chin on her shoulder and giving her a small squeeze.
The scabbard had been made of fine, supple leather, polished and oiled to shine like satin. But the dagger itself was the real beauty. The slender obsidian blade was polished to a mirror-perfect gleam, and when she pulled the blade out to study it, she noticed the little lightning bolt patterns carved into the blade.
"Here," Azriel said quietly. "That Solstice Gift I owe you."
Eira was only mildly startled as his quiet voice drew her back out of her thoughts, and she blinked at him in surprise.
"You really don't-" she began, but Azriel just shook his head, the shadows swirling with excitement.
"I talked them out of buying you another 3 dozen gifts, but I still wanted to give you something," he told her gently.
Eira couldn't help but feel touched that he'd gone to such trouble, even if she had been firmly telling them not to make such a fuss.
She was still speechless as he pulled a small, silk-wrapped box out of his pocket, handing it to her with an almost nervous smile on his face.
"I thought..well...I...I thought that you could use more pearls," he finally said quietly.
Eira almost gaped at his words as she stared down at the gift in her hands, her heart clenching at the thought that he'd given her pearls.
She carefully unwrapped the gift, her hands shaking slightly as she opened the box and uncovered a King's ransom in Pearls and Diamonds. A Necklace, Bracelet and a set of Hair Combs, all laid tucked into black velvet.
"No Earrings, but everything else," he said quietly.
She was literally speechless as she stared at the jewelry, her heart stuttering in her chest.
It wasn't just the jewelry that stole her breath away, but the thought and care that Azriel had taken in creating it.
He'd given her pearls. Diamonds too, but the pearls just made her throat ache.
Pearls like these very first earrings, like her engagement ring...and now there they were, ready to encircle her throat and her wrist as well.
The pearls were perfect, flawless and shining under the light like they were made of living ice. They looked smooth to the touch and more flawless than anything she'd ever seen before.
"They're beautiful," she told him, her voice a little strangled as she stared down at them. "Azriel...I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything," he told her as the shadows swooped around her, like they were eager to see the jewelry on her. "Do you like them?"
It was an oddly vulnerable question, and one that made her heart flutter in her chest.
"I love them."
#acotar fanfiction#azriel x oc#azriel x reader#azriel fanfiction#azriel fanfic#Azriel x Archeron!Reader#the prophecy#Looked to the sky
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whirlpool's personal MOTA fic recs!
I've actually been dying to put this together for a while now...today is as good an excuse as any! I might not know everyone's tumblrs vs ao3 names so I will NOT be offended if you tell me to correct something!! <3
the big list = going alphabetical order in my folder because YES I do download my favorites, it's like having your own little bookshelf!!
non-clegan fics:
nine mothers' sons by @reallylilyreally (truly beautiful, breathtaking, and **THE** John Brady bible for the fandom so make sure you pray to it every night)
at your heels by @reallylilyreally (this one is Ev Blakely, another really beautiful story that helps you understand just why Crosby's memoir speaks of Blakely with such love and affection)
clegan (or gale-centric, or john-centric) fics:
A Direct Solution by @sweaterkittensahoy (Gale & Marge proposition Bucky...so cute and so hot)
ain't it easy? by @stereobone (dom/sub with john as the dom but ohhh man it's so much more than just that!!!!! this fic is so full of FEELS. and it's also HOTTTT. and also the FEELSSSSS.)
all the rest of what I want with you by @london-cowboy (the level of care that went into writing this fic is insane and impeccable. down to its own internal timeline, little egan kiddos, and the ANGST. but it's all worth it, I promise!!)
back home where you're from, that's the measure of a man by wolfhalls (nice little oneshot of the bucks, I love the back-and-forth of their dialogue in this one, it really does feel like two people who know each other well)
bittersweet between my teeth by @blixabargelds (post-war adjustment...love when the two majors are a little messy and a little sad and also john calls gale the prettiest thing he ever saw so there's that <3)
bluebirds singing a song by ourdarkspirits (Marge jumps Bucky's bones. Then Gale joins. Super fun, super hot!)
Close and Yet Closer by Anonymous (LITERALLY THE MOST!!!!!! FIC OF ALL TIME!!!!!!! Gale is a little bit mean and John is a lot bit sweaty. Like all the time. it's amazing and you should read it and it WILL change your life.)
Corpse Song by birdwif (oof. john is miserable in the stalag he's scratching at the door he's gnawing his own leg off.)
deep breath baby by @defnotanarc (um FISTING. yeah. intense and delicious. side note sometimes the world isn't fair and people who are really talented and amazing at drawing are also really good WRITERS too LIKE WTF!!)
DOG DINNER by @wompire (super interesting writing style, extremely poetic and striking. hits you right in the gut.)
everything and the kitchen sink by @swifty-fox (YEAH THIS ONE WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE TOO. modern au where gale is a professional dom and john is a journalist who hornily consents to both (1) fucking around, and (2) finding out. in top ten fics of the decade in general tbh)
Freed From Desire by @feyd-meowtha (yoooooo such a fun and free and sexy fic!!! such a great writing style and such a cool remix of all the characters we know and love!)
He wears his love around his neck by kasugayamaisforlovers (Gale character study, he tries to run his little gay thoughts away which is always so fun to see)
hold me like a knife by storm_warning (tw: self-harm, this REALLY gets into John's self-destructive stalag spiral and it's super visceral and wet and heart-wrenching and written with such, such care and precision)
Hound Within the Heart by Anonymous (fairy-tale esque, gets super crazy and pushes the limits of reality but in the best ways possible)
I Don't Wanna Be Alone Tonight by @johnslittlespoon (cuddling for warmth <3 and then a little more <3 <3 so sweet and intimate!!)
I Like A Bad Boy by @nicijones (modern college AU and bucky is a fratty fuckboy type & in this fic he DOES punch a guy for Gale and it's all very hot and sweet and a delight to read)
i wish you wouldn't tell me (about your hawaiian party) by @whitetrashjj (when the fuckbuddies thing gets messyyyyyy because gale catches feelingsssssss, so delicious and meaty!!)
if that isnât love, itâll have to do by @irregularcollapse (ALWAYS such incredible character reads from this author, never misses. also facefucking. also FACEFUCKING <3)
i'll be seeing you by @puffanities (a quick 1.6k oneshot but still packed with some really great characterization and powerful language!! 'when the numbers of planes donât match...')
i'll find you before the dust settles by butidontreallycare (a Westworld AU!! super cool)
in our bedroom after the war by @stereobone (one of those fics that's just like. a pillar of the community, y'know? iconic. classic. eternal.)
Into the Unknown by Melanie_Mikaelson (big win for john whump enjoyers. BIG win. like 20+ chapters of winning)
it ain't for meatball by @meyerlansky (Curt/Bucky. Curt puts the dog collar on Bucky....and it's HOTTTT arf arf i'm barking just like bucky is in this fic...)
It's Not Love, but It's Fun by @sweaterkittensahoy (Curt/Bucky, 500 words so it's short and sweet just like Curt ahahahaha, ANYWAY still such an interesting little read regardless!)
judgment by the hounds by @puffanities (PG, very visceral and tender apology after the stalag fight scene <3)
level-off maneuvers by wormringers (sweet little oneshot of the Bucks in London)
little fix by ForASecondThereWedWon (Algeria <3 <3 you just kNOW those two gay pilots were sniffing and huffing and licking each other's sweat.....this author GETS it)
love means nothing (in tennis) by @irregularcollapse (fics that make you go WEEEEEEEE!!!! every word, every physical action that these characters take is SO precise and well-written. truly like wrapping a soft bathrobe around yourself and also the bathrobe is incredibly sexy and also they're sucking each other off post-game but PRE-shower. also gale's dad!! also margie!! truly such a well crafted AU)
make you feel alive by @sig-nifier (really sweet little oneshot of gale being a little protective of john. and i am ALWAYS a sucker for the 'call off your dog' trope... and it's done perfectly here!)
meet me at the chapel by @swifty-fox (still in-progress and SUCH a creative, inventive universe!! outlaw john you will always be famous to me!!!!)
my kingdom for a kiss upon your shoulder by @swifty-fox (swift can really weave a story like no one else. so many lines that pack a punch. and in the end, they make it <3)
my type by @spaceshipkat (this one is SOOOOO well-written, I always go so crazy for the dialogue!!! such a great push-pull dynamic in this fic)
night terror by @antiquitea (hot! and sweet! and HOT! and angsty!!!!! highlights include: gale gives john a literal countdown deadline to get off)
Obligate Mutualism by bowhuntress (Gale-centric story of trying to get John through the stalag, then returning the England without Bucky, a fic very obviously written with a lot of care and love)
obsessions, and other things by @sig-nifier (the Bucks cope. really great pacing and dialogue, and I always love when fics take the care to delve into john's struggle with alcoholism as well)
of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world (he walks into mine) by @whitetrashjj (really fun parallel universe where Buck owns a bar, just a great read all-around!)
Oh, I do, do I? by @defnotanarc (DIRTY TALK, like the most delicious, incredible dirty talk you can imagine, this fic nails it!!)
One of your Girls by @soliloquy-dawn (9k oneshot and it's great all the way through, Gale is jealousssss of John fucking around, don't worry they resolve it <3, definitely captures that innocence of pre-Bremen MOTA episodes)
peacetime like a liminal space by @spaceshipkat (this one is PHENOMENAL. post-war, John goes to New York City and turns out it doesn't fill the emptiness. luckily Gale shows up. <3)
Putting Words to It by @impalachick (YEAH THIS ONE IS REALLY HOT. John is a snoop and reads Gale's letters to Marge <3)
Reunited by Flowersandthings (PG, cute & funny oneshot of the Bucks being reunited after Gale makes it over from Greenland!)
Reverie by @avonne-writes (REALLY creative, well-crafted story. Gale and John are soulmates and can visit each other's dreams since adolescence. INCREDIBLE journey and arc in this story, the stalag part is just wow. truly such a gift to the fandom!!).
Rugire by Anonymous (umm omegaverse-ish but with deer dynamics. messy. and SO good.)
SHOTGUN. by pornogirl (YEAH this one is awesome, it's not safe it's not sane but oh boy it is consensual)
Song of Songs by @swifty-fox (sweaty sex sweaty sex sweaty sex)
Spin, Sit, Roll-Over by @glumbabie (Gale is a little mean to John and it's VERY sexy of him tbh. 'DOGS DON'T TALK'???? 'YOU CAN EAT'???????? yeah. read this.)
the chimneys hardly ever fall down by @redbelles (another Gale/Marge + John, and it's HOT. it's SEXY it's awesome!!)
the hand of a good man by @stereobone (John rewrites Gale's daddy history <3)
the jacket by @dogmetaphors (REALLY great sense of dialogue and characterization even in 1.6k words, also shamelessly horny and SO yummy)
The Majorâs Wife by tryingmyhandatwriting (John/Original Female Character but like. give this one a chance, I'm telling you!! I'm always soooo compelled by sex scenes that like. are actually a little bit unhappy. and this one SERVESSSSS.)
this must be the place by @blixabargelds (BIG win for Gale whumpers. broken bone and LOTS of blood and super well-written)
To be alone with you by Damn_Illusive (THIS ONE IS SO, SO SPECIAL AND CREATIVE!! freaky army experimentation gives gale and john telepathic communication. incredible separation arc while gale is in the stalag. really, really unique story that is such a staple in my mind as one of the the most incredible clegan stories ever. I think about this one A LOT!!!)
To the Moon and Back by @rambleonwaywardson (iconic astronaut AU, written with SUCH care and love, it's so obvious!! and BIG win for john whumpers. who said that -)
Tough And Sweet (Like You And Me) by @johnslittlespoon (sooo fun and creative and inventive, Bikeriders-esque!Gale and a sweeter, more innocent John. really well crafted)
trading paper dolls by ForASecondThereWedWon (Alex draws Gale pinup girl style in the stalag.....John swipes it.... super great fic!)
two slow dancers by everywordnotsaid (unrequited love, John for Gale, through their journey. I genuinely, actually sobbed for a long time at the conclusion of this fic. I am always thinking about this fic. I think it really captures something about the experience of watching the show and realizing in that hopeless, lovesick kind of way that there's no way to go back in time and save all of them. I still get teary whenever I think about this story or hear the song. It's one of those fics that's not just good, not just great, but somehow also really fucking IMPORTANT. this story MATTERS. you should absolutely read it and save it and imprint it onto your heart. I know it's imprinted onto mine.)
Un Chant dâAmour by @counting0nit (really intriguing take on the interrogation center time frame!)
unicorns, and other extinct animals by @spaceshipkat (really, really incredible reading experience. something that actually touches other aspects of my life, even now. I see planes overhead and I think about this fic. I see letters on a table and I think about this fic. just. this author GETS IT, you know? just absolutely nails every aspect of this kind of fic: post-war adjustment, the pain, the LOVE. this fic will make you FEEL it. let it happen.)
Up In Our Bedroom by @steeseman (ICONIC. really one of those pillars of the community type fics, y'know? it's funny and it's sweet and it's painful and the hot parts are HOT. clearly written with SO much care, and SO much love, and SO much precision. every single word packs a punch. absolutely one of my top reads of all time, across time, across fandoms)
When the bones are good by @aramblingjay (a really incredible post-war fic, such a beautiful, rich writing style!! isn't afraid to dig at the hard parts - john's relationship with alcohol, their nightmares from the war. stunning visuals -- the author uses setting and place and motion in such a tangible, real way. I can still see the little hideout spot in my mind's eye, even now. one of those fics that's just. such a treasure to the fandom.)
your dreams, whatever they be by @drylite (this one is super new, and it's just SUCH solid writing!)
You're A Dog (I'm Your Man) by @johnslittlespoon (one of those fics that's a pillar of the fandom for SURE!!! definitely a classic)
#mota fic#clegan#john egan#gale cleven#I LOVE U ALL SO MUCH#you're all so talented and creative!!!!!!#post
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Kim Seokjin Fic Recs
âŒïž18+ minors DNI, if you choose to anyways, PLEASE be careful. try to heed our warnings, we have them for a reasonâŒïž
More Recs Here
heâs insanely good looking your honour
[not in any particular order] [if any users would like me to remove their post from this list please let me know and i will do so immediately!]
thank you daddy @ktheist 19k
sugar daddy!seokjin, WHEEWWW, small angst, hella smut tho LOLL, 9 YEAR AGE GAP!, theyâre both horny fucks,
fast lane @yminie 20.6k
racer!seokjin, enemies2lovers, angst, smut !!!!!short depictions of car accidents!!!!!, jin is a PLAYA, reader really hates his guts LOLL
cherry topper @kth1 17.6k
friends2lovers, longtime pining, college!au, reader works at his familyâs candy shop :)) fluff, angst, SMUT, reader is dense as hell LOLL
every year @another-army-spot 15.6k
childhood bff2L, chef!seokjin, a yearly new yearâs eve party!!, hard fluff, smutty angst, they both grew up hella rich.
final sleigh @floralseokjin 23.3k
coworkers, e2l, reader very much hates seokjin LOLLL, forced proximity fanfic đ€đ€ smut, fluff(?), angst in Y/N is petty LMAO, itâs christmas!
stuck with you @taleasnewastime 29.6k
strangers2lovers, reader is grumpy :(, theyâre stuck in a city they donât want to be in, Jin is a raining ball of sunshine, angst, smut, fluff, angst. happy ending :)
MENTIONS OF DEATH!
small tuna fish @floralseokjin 17.1k
college!au, jin is a GOOD nice guy, heâs so jinny, FLUFF x10000, smut too LOL, jin is a cutie, heâs inexperienced, thereâs a charity car wash too đ€Ș
warm this winter @jamaisjoons 51.6k
s2l, this was so cute, jk is such a dumbass, but itâs okay seokjin is here to save the day. fluff, angst, SMUT. it just smacks u in the fuckin face.
lost and found @taleasnewastime 21.2k
s2l, seokjin owns a silly lil shop cuz heâs a silly lil guy, reader was cheated on, fluff, angst, theyâre so cute. jimin is there too! oneshot.
you guys donât understand how fucking much i love this story. iâve re-read it more times than i can count. i think about this Jin once a week
made up love song @floralseokjin series
dilf!seokjin, teacher!reader, arin is saur cute, angsty :(, but fluffy!!! n very smutty, lots of fluff with arin, seokjins ex >:(
turn back time @raplinesmoon 13.3k
seokjin accidentally fast forwards time, smut, angsty fluff, reader is a doctor, JIN POPS A SEMI đđđđ
sit. stay. @daechwitatamic 14k
dog owners!!!, they live in the same building, jin just wants to help MC, miscommunication :(, fluff, angst, smut, more fluff. literally. cuz dogs. i love this jinnie sooo much
the ikea test @yoon-bug 9.1k
theyâre dating, hoseok was right đ, reader gets upset with seokjin, jin saves the day!!, and then screws the HELL out of MC, so.. smut, fluff too :)
last november @kithtaehyung 24.7k đđ
god. exes2l, angst and um oh more angst, smut, all ends well, theyâre on a holiday trip with tha gang.
ryen NEVER misses. masterpiece after masterpiece.
the platonic collection @joheunsaram mini series
FWB2L, MC is kinda⊠sheâs kinda dense LOL, seokjin is a cutie, smut, fluff
off limits @floralseokjin series
brothers best friend!seokjin, theyâre hiding :(, FWB2L, angst angst angst, yoongi gets puNCHED, smut, readers brother is overprotective, lil fluff
donât go baking my heart @candlewaxandp0lar0ids 14.7k
i donât think u understand i love this seokjin. JK is a cutie, S2L, jinnie owns a bakery and is the master of puns, kinda angsty, fluff, theyâre also IDIOTS. lil smut
cupids on holiday @persphonesorchid 17k
cupid!seokjin, fluff, angst :(, smut, E2L?? ily jin. but i HATE U. but ily.
all i donât want for christmas is you @minisugakoobies 23.7k
coworkers AU!, E2L, crack, fluff, smut, jin has a big⊠ego.. yâall. Y/N pisses me the hell off, but theyâre SO CUTE đ
glazed and dazed @floralseokjin 30.3k
um. PORNSTAR SEOKJIN. thank you thatâs all, jk, seokjin âčïž, obviously smut, but theyâre fluffy n cute i promise.
the devil wears armani @floralseokjin 65k series
WHEW this one is a doozy, devil!jin, jimin is there too, very much smut smut smut, angsty, fluffy, seokjin has a soft spot.
like i said at the end of my last fic rec post, if any of you have recommendations for me, please send them through!! my inbox is OPEN and i am always looking for more things to read!!! đ«¶đ«¶
#bts#bts x reader#bts smut#bts fic recs#bts fic#bts fic rec#seokjin fanfic#jin x reader#seokjin x reader#jin fluff#jin smut#seokjin fluff#seokjin smut#bts oneshot#bts fanfction#bts fanfic#fic rec#birdyrants#seokjin fanfiction#jin fanfiction#ë°©í
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Hii could you write a smut one shot w sub Carlos and dom reader?
HOLY JEEZ MY FRIEND
I MOST CERTAINLY CAN HERE YOU GO
(you said one shot and i heard 1.5k words of PURE PORN)
nsfw under the cut <3 minors please do not interact!
warnings: very not beta read! carlos is a whimperer i don't make the rules, friends to fuck buddies to idiots in love, bro meets jesus, legal use of alcohol, making out, sex under the influence, creampie, hickeys, open ending, stupid fluffy vanilla bullshit
it started out with one too many shots of shitty tequila after mexico 2023 and a chayanne song.
gods damned mexican liquor.
max had, yet again, won, except this time, he had broken yet another record. so of course he invited everyone on the grid and their friends out to drinks.
"come on, lia, a couple of drinks won't hurt! plus, i can probably rope carlos into paying."
you and carlos had grown up together in madrid, and you'd always been his biggest supporter in the garage. it didn't matter who else he could've brought along, because when the two of you have a connection so deep that all you need to do to laugh is make eye contact after anyone says something even remotely sexual.
there was always an air of awkward tension between you since that time you accidentally walked past his bedroom door and heard him moan your name. you just pray that, with all the nights you've spent at each other's houses, he's never heard you moan his name while you fingered yourself across the thin walls.
and so here you find yourself, in the center of the dance floor in a club in the heart of mexico city following the grand prix weekend, your heart pounding, your confidence blooming, and your ass grinding up against carlos' crotch to the rhythm of mi gente by j balvin, his large hands resting on your hips.
you aren't sure how the idea springs into your mind, but you'll blame it on the liquid courage. as the next song comes on, you spin around in carlos' hold, your right leg slotting between his own, and that's when you realize it. he's hard. a smirk tugs at your lips and when you look up at his face, your eyes meet and that's when you know. if you don't get out of this stifling club and back to your hotel in the next ten minutes, you might just have to fuck him in one of the vip rooms. your hands come up to rest on his chest and you hinge forward, your lips directly next to his ear.
"you wanna get out of here?"
"please," he says, and the pure desperation in his voice makes your stomach erupt in butterflies.
"then let's go." you grab his hand off of your hip and immediately book it out of the club. thank god your hotel was less than one block down the street, because if you had to drive anywhere, you might've just sucked him off inside the car. your feet hurt from your heels, but with your level of arousal and in your drunken state, you couldn't care less. all that you care about is that this elevator is moving way too slow and that carlos' lips feel so good on your own. the kiss is hot, wet, and messy, a flurry of lips and tongue and teeth, hands scrambling to hold whatever they can.
the elevator reaches your floor, and you've never run faster in heels. you're holding carlos' hand, the two of you running down the hall like a pair of horny teenagers (which, being entirely honest, is the mental state you've been reduced to at the concept of finally fucking your best friend,) and laughing uncontrollably. you almost fall over laughing when he fumbles through his wallet for his keycard, drunken fingers lacking any sort of dexterity. the sound of the door finally unlocking is your favorite sound at the moment, and you throw the door open, push carlos against the nearest wall, and kiss him harder than you've kissed anyone before.
your right hand holds the side of his neck, the tips of your fingers barely weaving into his hair, while your left goes down to cup his incredibly hard cock through his jeans. palming over his erection pulls some of the greatest sounds you've ever heard from him. forget hearing him moan your name through the wall as you pass- instead, hearing his whimpers at your hand is the greatest thing you've ever heard in your whole life.
"are you okay with this?" you pant, your lips coated in a mixture of both of your salivas, carlos' eyes heavy with lust.
"i've been hoping and praying for this for years, amor. please. i need you." without hesitation, you pull him back to you and kiss him with no mercy. he pushes back, stepping forward and eventually gently laying you down on the bed. "need this off," he says, tugging at your dress as he undoes the clasps on your heels and throwing them across the room.
"zipper. back. fuck." his hands somehow regained the dexteriety he lacked five minutes ago as he expertly undoes the zipper of your crimson dress and helps you shimmy out of it.
"ay, diĂłs, you're beautiful." you're left laying on the bed in just your strapless bra and black panties, carlos way too overdressed, and his eyes admiring your body. his lips continue kissing down your neck as his hands reach beneath you and unclasp your bra, hands immediately cupping your tits.
"mm, carlos, as amazing as this is, i need you inside of me in the next sixty seconds."
"as you wish." carlos strips as fast as he can as you pull your panties off, and when he slides into you slowly, you throw your head back and grasp at his upper arms, your breaths heavy and labored. "oh... oh, fuck." his forehead presses to yours when he finally bottoms out inside of you, your breaths mingling as you hold him as close as you can.
"carlos, please. move. i can take it." you emphasize your point with a clench around his girth, and your body heats up infinitely more when he whimpers.
"'m not gonna last long if you keep doing that," carlos groans, and you tease him once more with another flutter of your walls around him.
"i'm not either, but i need you to fuck me right now, baby." he responds by pulling his hips back, then pushing back into you. he maintains a steady pace, and your moans continue with every punching thrust. "feels so good, baby, just like that."
"keep... keep doing that. please?" from the way his dick twitched inside of you when you praised him, who would you be to deny him such a request when he asked so nicely?
"mmgh, carlos, so good. faster, baby, please, i'm close. i'm so close." his hips snap into you faster, and you moan loudly as your nails scrape at his broad back and shoulders, surely leaving marks that will raise and turn red with time. with the pain, carlos' volume matches your own, and you can't help but grin as he bites at your neck, leaving his own marks for you to admire later. you yell with his left thumb comes to play with your clit, finding the bundle of nerves after a moment of searching, and he rubs tight hard circles that have you cumming hard.
"oh, fuck, carlos, i'm cumming, i'm cumming, oh my god. just like that baby, so good, so so good." you're reduced to a babbling, mindless, moaning mess, and your eyes are held open as they focus on carlos' face, eyebrows creased in pleasure, lips hanging open, and eyes shining with pleasure.
"i'm gonna cum, amor. i'm... where? where do you want it?"
you don't hesitate for an instant before mumbling out an "inside. inside, baby," and carlos' hips stutter and he cums inside of you with a groan. the warmth of his cum inside of you turns you on more than you could ever imagine, but you're too exhausted and fucked out to even consider a second round at the moment. "just like that, baby. just like that. ah~" you moan one last time when he pulls out of you, both of you panting and gasping hard for breath. carlos flops down on his stomach next to you, completely boneless and fucked out, and drapes his right arm over your waist.
"thank you," he mumbles into your neck. "i've wanted to do that for years."
"so have i," you say, the post-orgasmic haze crawling over your body. your eyes are heavy, but they snap open when you hear what carlos says next.
"you aren't that quiet, and your walls are thin."
your head rises from the pillow to look down at him. "cabrĂłn, are you telling me you heard me moan your name and you didn't tell me?!"
"yeah, i guess so. i wanted to tell you after we finished secondary school, but you were with that other guy... what was his name? manuel? mateo?"
"matĂas," you laugh, bringing your hand that isn't gently playing with his hair up to your face, giggling hysterically. "i only got with him in hopes that you'd get jealous or something!"
"en serio? we were that blind?"
"i guess we were." you both burst out in laughter at your dual idiocy, but as you calm down, sleep takes its grasp on both of you, and you eventually succumb to its hold, safe in each other's embrace.
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