#it's so fun to write her trying to resist her urges because she fucking LIKES HER COMPANIONS TOO MUCH.

[crookedredemption]

sylmae is the epitome of 'i can fix her' and/or 'i can make them worse'.

[edgeray]

Hi Ray! 🍅 Anon here~

Have fun on your holiday and enjoy it to the best you can! Be sure to stay hydrated, the weather is really mental these days.

Just wanted to share a bit of brainrot I had regarding soft Arle, whether or not you choose to make it into a fic is up to you!

Arle with her frame and demeanor is most definitely the Top + Dom in the relationship with reader, but how about when she’s insecure? Seeing reader take care of the children and feeling as though she doesn’t deserve to be as loved as said children, then reader after putting the kids to bed embraces Arle and puts her head against their chest so Arle can hear their heartbeat more clearly while patting Arle and assuring her that they love her for her and that she DEFINITELY deserves to be spoilt… (reader knows Arle too well to not pick up on her tells and knows that Arle’s being harsh on herself)

Or maybe reader writing in to the Tsaritsa (without Arle knowing) to ask if Arle can take a 2 week break just to take care of the children and spend time as a couple (What if!! Tsaritsa was the one who wed them!!! And just closes both eyes and approves time off). Then reader proceeds to spoil Arle in every way possible - breakfast in bed, a warm bath after sparring with the children (no, not that kind of bath, but a fluffy one where Arle gets a shoulder massage and scrubbed clean and gets lots of loving kisses everywhere she’s insecure of), a feast of sashimi and steak tartare for dinner and a soft bed and loving wife in the night. I wanna spoil Arle like that but 😭

Oh! And since Harbingers are like celebrities in Snezhnaya, do you think Arle would have a fanclub there? Think about it! She’s young, has a boatload of money (you CANNOT convince me #4 doesn’t have money when #11 has an unimaginable sum at the bank), can handle kids well (she runs the HotH), and as a Harbinger who fights she probably is ripped (RIP her actual body proportions, they’re limited by Hoyo’s models, nobody is convincing me her body type isn’t like Lady Maria’s from Bloodborne, with abs, guns and muscular. Thighs.)

0 chance that she doesn’t have a line of sapphics lining up for her in Snezhnaya, even with the rumors of her being ruthless and cruel (I mean. If the rumors worked in making people back off. Arle simps like us wouldn’t exist to begin with lmao)… Imagine Arle trying to placate Jealous!Teasing!Reader!! Like Arle coming home on Valentine’s day a bit late to find reader teasing her about having a new lover meanwhile Arle was actually out buying a new dagger for reader to protect themselves with… reader being melodramatic because she knows and trusts Arle enough that Arle would never do anything like that (and Arle knows but plays along)

R: “Oh, woe is me! My wife came home late on Valentine’s with a dagger to end our relationship, whatever should I do?”

Arle: “My love…”

And if the children are around? They’d be busy either pretending they didn’t see anything or resisting the urge to claw their eyes out or handing each other eye bleach. Sending condolences to Lyney when one of the younger children ask something along the lines of

“Brother Lyney, do you think we’ll have another sibling soon if Father and Mother are this loving with each other”

(I headcanon that Arle does teach them sexuality education but not until they’re 10 and before that the older children tell their younger siblings that children pop into existence when Papa and Mama love each other lots)

I’m so sorry this is getting really out of hand but Arle has me in a brainrot when I should be focusing elsewhere 💀

Rest Your Worries, Lax Your Heart

(Arlecchino x GN! Reader)

A/N - Thank you, I did have a fun vacation :). Wow that is a lot and I love every single bit of this ask 🍅 anon. It'd be unfair if I just wrote one part and not all of them, so what did I do? Combined all of them as best as I can, but of course some details had to be omitted/changed because of that–hopefully you don't mind. I'm a fucking genius. Also considering that Arle has an anime, but never got a beach episode, this is said beach episode. This took so long because this turned out to be pretty self-indulgent (I'm sure you know which scene it was). This is a long boi, way over what the request range is supposed to be, but hope this is worth it? Somehow, my brain was able to focus for at least like… 4 hours. Started this at 23:00 something, and it's nearly 04:00. 🍅 anon, I enjoy your asks, so I hope you personally enjoy this one :)  Content warnings / info - a bit of suggestiveness, reader is referred to as ‘Mother’ but is otherwise gn!, 3.2k words 

It took a lot of back and forth over the span of four months, writing to the Tsaritsa, but you had finally been able to arrange this without the knowledge of your husband. The Archon, generous as she is, approved of your proposal for a two week long break without much pushback or questioning, saying that loyalty was rewarded and as one of her more productive Harbingers, Arlecchino’s efforts warrant her a break. All the Tsaritsa asked for was the general details of the vacation: when, where, and the activities you would be doing, which was easy enough to answer to. Surprisingly, she bought an entire section of the Sumeru coast along with a sizable cabin for the two of you and the children for the duration of your respite when you told where you plan on the location being. You're not one to turn down such a gracious offer so you accepted it. As a Pyro user, she would surely enjoy somewhere as warm as Sumeru. 

Currently, you're holding the letter from the Tsaritsa, which contains a direct order from the Archon addressed to Arlecchino to stay at Sumeru. No matter how much you plead for her to rest, your husband only says that she can keep working and for you to not worry. Tracing the envelope stamp, you breathe in deeply before knocking on the door.

“Yes?” Called from beyond the door. 

“Can I come in, Arle?”

“Yes, my love,” she says with a lilt. 

You come in, striding towards her, holding up the back of the envelope while trying to suppress your smile. “This was addressed for you.”

Arlecchino takes it with a bit of suspicion at the crack in your facial expression. Turning it over, she notices the stamp, which is the mark of the word of the Archon. She narrows her brows and takes out a letter opener, taking out the letter with a bit more urgency. You watch her expression morph from confusion to mild shock to indifference again. 

“What does it say?” You inquire her, biting your lip to hide the smile.

“It says that I'm going to Sumeru in three days. For a respite.” She eyes you carefully, her eyes glinting red. “But you seem to know that already.” 

You nod, a smile forming . “I thought… you were working so hard, and you deserve a break. I asked the Tsaritsa if it was possible and she agreed to it, even paying for our stay there.” 

Arlecchino's face flicks to something indecipherable, like there was a hesitation, but it quickly disappears before you can think too much on it. She gets up from her desk chair, strutting to you before wrapping her arms around your midsection, pulling you into an embrace. She presses a tender kiss against your forehead. “Thank you, my dear, for your thinking of me. I'm sure the children would appreciate being out of the House. I'll tell the children about this, and we should begin packing.”  

But does she appreciate it? It's for her, after all. You chew on the inside of your cheek but your smile remains in place.

You tilt your head up to kiss her cheek. “I already packed for us. And I told the kids, already.”

“Hm, that's why they seem so antsy lately. Thank you,” Arlecchino hums. “You picked for us already?”

“Yes. Including your clothes,” you chuckle, deviously imagining her in the attires you picked out for her. At that, she raises her eyebrows.

“Oh? What are you planning, my love?” She teases, seizing your chin in her hands and tilting your head up to lock her eyes with yours. You can't stop the giggle that bubbles out. 

“Nothing too… scandalous…” you answer back. “Don't worry, it's nothing too bad. This is all for you to relax, remember? You've been working so hard, been such a good husband, so…”

You lean forward to kiss her on the mouth. Whispering against her lips, you say, “As your partner, it's my duty to make sure you're happy. Isn't that right?”

If she physically could at that moment, Arlecchino would melt underneath your words. 

—

Upon your arrival at Sumeru, you were glad you picked the outfits that you did. Travel with around twenty kids was difficult, but luckily the older kids, the twins and Freminet especially, helped a lot. Everyone was practically vibrating in excitement, with the exception of Arlecchino, though you knew it was mostly because of how inexpressive she usually was. 

Right? 

Currently, the two of you lay on the sand by the crystal clear waters, enjoying the sight of the children playing. The little ones are playing in the sand, presumably sculpting a castle, and the older ones are either engaging in a heated battle involving smacking a ball around or with Freminent in the ocean. Here, you forget that they’re a part of the Fatui, child soldiers for the Tsaritsa; here, they look like normal children and it makes your heart swell. 

Unfortunately, you're stuck in a dilemma–observe your children and take in their contagious laughter, or ogle your husband who is in the most delicious and mouth-watering attire possible. Underneath her short gray collarless jacket, was a cropped, sleeveless turtleneck that exposed her lower half of her toned stomach, including her v-line. Below are tight, black leggings which do little in hiding her muscular thighs. Everytime you look at her, a flush runs to your cheeks and you find yourself too flustered for your stare to linger because of the growing amount of indecent thoughts. You breathe deeply in an attempt to calm the raging storms of desire in your stomach, distracting yourself by observing the waves and digging your feet in the sand. For the sake of your children, you'd like for your mind to be as pure as possible. 

Blackened arms wrap around your waist, pulling you into a lap. You squeal at the sudden contact. Your husband's mouth hovers beside your ear, hot breath brushing against the shell of your ear. 

“Something interesting?” Arlecchino huskily whispers, making you shudder. One hand strokes over your stomach, invoking shivers from you. You inhale sharply before glancing at Arlecchino's face. 

“Just… watching the waves. It's calming,” you lie quickly, wondering if your racing heartbeat can be felt underneath her fingertips. 

“Your heart says otherwise,” she chuckles, turning your head over your shoulder so she can kiss you. 

After a few moments, you pull away from the kiss, and your eyes flick over to the children in the sand, still tossing around that ball over a net. “Why don't you join them? I'm sure they would love it if their Father joined their game.”

“My dear, I would destroy them,” Arlecchino bluntly remarks, and you chuckle. 

“Fair enough, I suppose.”

The two of you watch them in silence until Arlecchino breaks the silence. 

“I like what you picked for me.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Your reaction is adorable.” 

Something white-hot pricks the back of your neck. “I-I'm glad you like it. I like it too,” you stammer out, your abashment evident in your voice. 

“I can tell. Perhaps… you'd like to help me put on sun protection?” Arlecchino teases with a small smirk, removing her jacket off to reveal her lean biceps. “Over the pants, if that's alright.”

This handsome–sexy–woman is going to be the death of you, you’re sure of it. Your heart is going into overdrive, and you would be terrified of going into a stroke if you aren't more focused on your husband's physique. If it's not your heart that's going to kill you, it's the pending combustion inside of you. You squeeze your thighs against one another, pooling heat forming between your legs. 

“Y-yeah, sure,” you manage in between your laboring breathing, getting off of her lap to face her. Spreading the paste in your hand, you first venture over her neck, tenderly rubbing over her throat and then her nape, down to her sides. Her skin is hot to the touch, as expected of a Pyro user, but it somehow retains softness and flawlessness despite all the combat and harshness your husband deals with as a Fatui Harbinger. Still, unlike her composed facial features, you can feel that her pulse is as frenzied as yours–it gives you comfort that you’re not the only one feeling this. Your husband hums with contentment, watching you carefully. 

Next, you slide your hands over to her broad shoulders before feeling down her upper arm, deliberate attention to her biceps. A shuddering breath comes from you as she shifts, extending her arms more out towards you. You trace down the markings of her arm before caressing her inky elbow and forearms. Finally, you get to her wrists. An idea pops in your head as you bring her hands to your lips, kissing her knuckles and rings, giving special focus onto her engagement ring. An amused huff escapes from her, and you glance back at her. Her eyes gleam with such a rare fondness, reserved only for you. 

You glance down at the only part of her that's yet been touched, your stomach churning in itself when you're able to get a closer, longer look. You gulp considerably, your hands shaking slightly as they hover over it. 

A charcoal hand wraps around your wrist, gently guiding your palm to her until it's flushed against her skin. “Don't be shy now, love.” She smirks wickedly and you have the sense to kiss that smile off her face. 

“Shut up,” you murmur meekly, but place both hands on her stomach, your fingertips traversing over every dips created by her well-muscles stomach. It feels like your body will implode at any second now, as her body heat infects your fingers and spreads to the rest of your body. You coat her waist before your touch lingers lower, just above the waistband of her pants. You trace the indent of her v-line, your fingers nearly dip underneath her leggings. Before it can, she stops you, grasping both of your wrists with one hand as she leans in to whisper hotly near your ear.

“Let's save that for later, hm?” 

—

“Lyney, what are they doing?” One of the children inquires, as they point at Mother and Father still by the water. Father remains on top of Mother, seemingly applying sun protection, though Lyney isn't quite sure if their position is truly that… innocent. 

“Oh… Father is just helping Mother, like how I helped with the sun protection on your back,” Lyney quickly comes up with an explanation, looking away from them. 

The child remains silent, observing the older male's expression, before looking back at them once more. “Lyney, you said that when a mother and father love each other a lot, a new child comes right?” 

Lyney isn't sure if he was going to enjoy what comes next, though he has an inkling that he won't. “Yes…” 

“Does that mean Mother and Father will bring us a new sibling soon?”

Lyney sputters, looking to Lynette for assistance. 

—

After a nice day at the beach, Arlecchino takes you and the children to a local restaurant. Luckily, she was able to find one that was relatively empty, so there was no problem with fitting you and your twenty children inside. You find that the two of you rather enjoy Sumeru dishes; while you enjoy the variety of flavors, Arlecchino rather indulges in the spiciness of them. Your favorite is between the tandoori roast chicken and the lambad fish roll. Though, something bothers you during your time at the restaurant.

Arlecchino is an attractive woman; that much is undeniable, and you're well aware of the fact that she's pleasing to both men's and women's eyes. It is a common occurrence for her to attract the sights of those around her, for whatever the reason, though among the women, it is typically out of admiration. Here, this is the case as well, wandering eyes from other customers, and subtle flirting from the audacious waitress. 

After finishing your dinner, you excuse yourself to the bathroom, only to return to the two of them chatting up, although in reality it’s more like a one-sided conversation and Arlecchino is ignoring her– you're well aware of this, but you find the waitress’ presence pervasive. You approach your table quickly, kissing your husband on the cheek before glancing at the waitress.

“My husband and I would like to order dessert. Can you fetch us a menu, please?” You ask, disguising your ire with a practiced smile. Instantly, the waitress's flirtation dies and she walks away. 

You huff at the sight of the woman. “How could you, Arlecchino? After all we've been through? Talking so casually with her when I'm gone?” You jest with a gasp, faux jealousy in your tone once you notice the relieved sigh from her. Her claws release its hold on the tablecloth, leaving behind tattered sheets. 

“Oh, how I've been caught,” Arlecchino responds monotonously, playing along. “My affair with an unnamed, rather plain-featured woman has been discovered.” 

You giggle as her hand finds yours, interlocking with your fingers. “I'm in disbelief, betrayed by who I thought was my true love.”

“Oh hush now, love. Will Baklava buy your silence and heart again?” 

“Perhaps.” 

The House of the Hearth children gag as Mother and Father conciliate. 

—

“Mother, can't we stay up any longer? We're on vacation. Pleaseeeeee,” one of the children pleads as you usher them to bed, pulling the covers over them. 

“It's not healthy for you to stay up. Besides, you have plenty of time tomorrow and the rest of the two weeks to have fun. Your Father and I can't keep watch over you during the night,” you respond with, kissing them on the forehead. 

“What if Lyney or Lynette watches us?” 

“Lyney and Lynette are probably just as tired. When you wake up, we can go to the beach again, does that sound okay?” 

“Okay… good night Mother.”

You hum in delight, caressing their head. “Good night. Sweet dreams.” 

You silently walk towards the door. Arlecchino leans against the doorframe, observing you wordlessly–again, that unreadable expression appears over her, but this time it lingers. You shut the door as quietly as you can, before turning to your husband.

“Is there something you need, Arle?” You inquire. 

She shakes her head. You don't quite believe her, but you don't address it. “I'm going to go take a bath. Get all this sand off of me. Would you like to join me?” 

Arlecchino nods, and soon the two of you are in the bathroom. You let the faucet run, filling the bathtub with water as Arlecchino removes her clothing. It only takes a few moments before the two of you are seated in the bathtub, but it's a change of position this time. Arlecchino sits in between your legs, facing away from you.

“It's been a while since we've bathed like this, right?” You question softly, lightly carding your fingers through her untied hair. 

“It has been,” she merely replies, her voice almost far-away; like there’s something else on her mind. Even though you only face her back, you can tell from her lack of movement that she’s in deep contemplation.

“What are you thinking about, Arle?” Your husband bristles a bit at the question. Even after being married to you for a couple years, she's still unaccustomed to how you can read her so easily, especially when she prides herself in being incomprehensible to others, even her children. 

“Do you… not enjoy this?” You ask hesitantly with a lump in your throat. You know that she knows what you meant by ‘this’– the vacation; the entire notion of taking a break is foreign to Arlecchino, but you hope that she was able to find this beneficial. If she hates this and this vacation is supposed to be two weeks long… you don't want to say you'd be disappointed but you'd hope she'd at least be able to relax from her Harbinger duties. 

Arlecchino is silent for a few moments. “I admit… I am uneased by this, to be so vulnerable and open to assaults now that we're not in the House of the Hearth. I feel unproductive and restless without my usual work. However, at the same time, I can see how beneficial this is to the children, and it is a nice change for once to see them like this. Being able to spend time with you like this is also rather indulgent, but I cannot complain about it.” 

You smile, a weight lifted off your chest as you lean forward to press a kiss against her nape. “I’m glad. This was for you after all.”

“Although I am gratified that the children are able to experience this as well … I cannot see why you would put this much effort for me. After all, I am…” Arlecchino pauses, raising her blackened hands to her view. She doesn’t finish her sentence, but you're able to get a sense of what she’s trying to say, and another weight is placed heavy on your heart. For as confident and assured that Arlecchino likes to present herself, when it is just the two of you, she reveals a rawer, more unguarded side to her. Often, she confides in you how she grapples with why you can so fondly view her, and every time, your heart sinks. How could your husband think this way? 

Laying your chin over her shoulder, you gingerly place both of your hands underneath hers, stroking the inside of her palm with your thumb. “I know where your thoughts are leading to, Arlecchino, and they're wrong. I love you, Arlecchino. You deserve this. You deserve this treatment, you deserve a break, you deserve to be loved. Your curse, your past… it doesn't matter. These hands…” 

You continue caressing her hand with your fingers. “...They are not cursed. These hands are not unloveable. These are the same hands that protect and care for our children. The same hands that hold me. The same hands that please me. They are a part of you, and they aren't evidence that you are a monster. If you are, you wouldn't have me, and you wouldn't have the children.” 

You kiss down along her bare back, gaining shivers from the woman. “Enjoy this, my love, for me at the very least. You are my husband, so let me do my part in loving you. You've done an innumerable amount of things for me and the children, so consider this to be our repayment for you.” 

“That is why I am doing this for you, do you understand?” You whisper against her skin. 

Arlecchino nods, a shaky breath escaping from her. You finish your treatment around her shoulderblades and gesture for her to turn around. When she does, the first thing that you do is kiss her hands, peppering them with as much devotion as you can give them. To you, nothing is more beautiful. 

“You deserve everything and more. Don't forget that, Arlecchino. So let me do this for you.” It isn't an ask. It is a demand from the one person whose authority is higher than the Tsaritsa: you. 

Arlecchino closes her eyes, and lets herself melt into you. 

[tossawary]

For a while, I kept periodically thinking about F/M Wangxian (Male Wei Wuxian and Female Lan Wangji) without being able to figure out why I kept being distracted by F/M Wangxian. I mean, I think different genderbending AU situations are fun to think about in fanfiction, especially in worlds where gender roles are a problem. M/M, F/M, M/F, and F/F Wangxian all change the story slightly and I think it's neat to explore why and how.

And obviously, F!LWJ would be a total babe, that's nice to think about, but why still M!WWX and not F!WWX? F!WWX would also be a total babe, though of a different type, especially as the Yiling Patriarch. But my brain kept insisting that M!WWX was still crucial somehow and I couldn't figure out why that setup.

I mean, it is funny to think about how M!WWX's unchanged flirty behavior in their teenage years would suddenly set off every single alarm bell in the Cloud Recesses due to people being able to SEE IT thanks to heteronormativity goggles. WWX with a degree of societal permission to be romantically interested in Lan Wangji? Intolerable levels of annoying. Unbearable to witness. Singing love songs under her balcony type bullshit like he wants her to start another fight under the moonlight. He's writing her poetry (clever "joke" poems bordering on innuendo and actual romantic poems) and has the gall to be good at it. Lan Qiren is barely resisting the urge to beat WWX off with a broomstick. Lan Xichen doesn't know whether to be horrified or delighted (LWJ is bluuuuushing).

I do also like the idea of WWX coming back from the dead and finding out that the common people have decided in the past decade (thanks to the heteronormativity goggles) that the noble female cultivator LWJ had a Tragic Romance with the Evil Yiling Patriarch. Poor woman! WWX: "Who had a what now?" (I do also like the idea of Wangxian actually having a Tragic Romance during and after the war. And mutually stated romantic interest and affection still didn't fix anything for them. But it's funny to think about WWX getting completely blindsided by this EPIC LOVE STORY if there was no actual relationship.)

(Sizhui is still adopted here! Noble and pure-hearted LWJ adopted a war orphan because she longed to be a mother but swore never to love again after the Yiling Patriarch broke her heart, obviously! WWX, listening to this gossip: "She what? I mean, Lan Zhan would make an amazing mom, good for her, lucky kid, and no one is good enough for her if she doesn't want to get married, but seriously, I cannot stress this enough, what the fuck. She didn't like me back! Aiyah, I bet she's still so mad at me for ruining her reputation like this.")

Eventually, I realized that the key piece of this AU that I was missing was that I wanted to write F/M Wangxian that turned into F/F Wangxian. Because I think Transfem Wei Wuxian would display (and I mean this affectionately) the most ridiculous trans egg behavior imaginable, especially because it would lean more towards one of those "I was mostly fine living as a guy, but I'm so much happier as a girl" situations. Absurd amounts of queer foreshadowing.

So, Wei Wuxian gets resurrected into a female MXY's body or something and obliviously goes, "Oh! This is nice! I've always wanted to try being a woman! Yes, I can roll with this." And eventually Wei Wuxian has to actually examine the fact that she really likes being a woman and doesn't want to "go back" to being a man in any way, but not before putting Lan Wangji through an incredible amount of new "joke" flirtation. And people who knew WWX before are like... "Hmm. Some things are making sense now."

Things like: 1) As a teenager, WWX insisted that LWJ was such a strong woman that, if they got married, LWJ could be "the husband" and "he" would happily be "the wife". There were lots and lots of "I want to live as Jiejie's spoiled wife" jokes. Consequently, at the Cloud Recesses, at least one outrageously inappropriate joke was made by WWX about LWJ knocking "him" up, because WWX's breeding kink is still very much a thing. WWX didn't know about her breeding kink when she made that joke; both she and LWJ learned something about themselves that day.

2) Wei Wuxian would frequently pull crossdressing-related pranks saying: "Wow, this is crazy. I can't believe you guys are forcing me to put on a dress and all this makeup for this prank! You guys are wild!" And Jiang Cheng would reply: "No one is forcing you to do this. No one dared you. You suddenly volunteered to crossdress for a prank that does not require crossdressing AGAIN. Also, give me that brush, I'll do your makeup because you suck ass at it."

3) WWX would frequently go on rants about how women are so much more beautiful than men, which flew under the radar as a "normal behavior for a lustful young man", but there was always something a little off about it. Like, WWX might say that women are so beautiful and perfect that everyone would choose to be one if allowed to pick before being born just to admire the gorgeous view, and JC might say, "I don't think that's quite right...?" But WWX would just say something like (like an obnoxious teenage sibling), "That's because you know that you'd make an ugly woman!" or, "Are you saying that women aren't perfect? Also, are you saying Shijie isn't the best person in the world?" And JC would have to be like, "I didn't say that! And I'd make a beautiful woman, fuck you! Also, how is that relevant to your point?"

By the end of this AU, there is at least one public love confession that is horribly embarrassing for everyone else to witness, in which Wei Wuxian has finally realized that LWJ used to be in love with "him" and that she loves LWJ back, but tearfully apologizes because she can't be the handsome man that LWJ loved anymore. Even if she could be a man again, she still doesn't want to stop being a woman, even if she's not very good at it yet. She can't perform the required husbandly duties like provide a good home for LWJ! She can't father LWJ's children anymore!

(Jiang Cheng: "Do you have to do this now?! Stop being indecent! There are children here. Also, we're all being held hostage.")

But it's all cool! Because shortly after realizing WWX was back and determined to live as a woman, LWJ speedran a sexuality crisis, flipped a mental switch, and essentially went, "I'm a lesbian now." (Or maybe LWJ was really confused about being attracted to WWX when they first met, because LWJ had only been physically attracted to her fellow female disciples up until then, so WWX seemed like the "exception", until WWX comes back from the dead as a woman and then it's like, "Ah. Not an exception after all.")

[cissyenthusiast010155]

19, 35, and 48 please? I don’t know if I can choose multiple prompts, so hopefully that’s okay (if not, just 19 please). I’m thinking Larissa x reader. Maybe they’ve been together for a little while, but they haven’t really ventured into a more kinky/bdsm side of their relationship yet even though they’ve discussed it. Larissa’s worried about being more dominant because she’s afraid she’ll make R uncomfortable, even though R has repeatedly said she won’t be uncomfortable. Anyway, R starts teasing Larissa and trying to bait her into dominating the absolute fuck out of her. Like, R will say things like “I get it, maybe it’s just too hard for you. Topping can be difficult, it requires a certain type of person”. Stuff like that. R’s a bit of a switch so she has experience with both sides, which makes it even more annoying for Larissa. Finally she snaps, and smut ensues in Larissa’s office. R makes Larissa work for it though, not immediately just going submissive (she keeps talking back, etc). Larissa does put her in her place though. Lots and lots of degradation please (and then Larissa makes fun of reader for getting off on being degraded). Maybe instead of a Mommy/Mistress kink, R calls Larissa Miss Weems or Principal Weems. Anyway, sorry, this is so long. Lots of degradation, maybe bondage if you feel like it, Larissa definitely being rougher with Reader. Really, add whatever kinks you want, I really like your writing so you can’t really go wrong.

If you don’t want to write this, or you’re not comfortable with it, please don’t worry about it!! ❤️

Put You in Your Place ~Dom!Larissa Weems xFem Switch!Brat!Reader

Summary— Read anon request. Anon Response— Hi hi anon! I would love to write this!! Thank you for your request. Hope you Enjoy! ♥️♥️

Mommy… Master List

Request & Prompt-List

#19. “I swear to god I’ll fuck the brattyness out of you till you can’t walk…”

#35. “Fuck. You did not just do that.”

#48. “Watch your mouth...”

Warnings: NSFW, smut, fingering, light oral sex, implied smut, teasing, taunting, dom/sub interactions, degradation, degradation kink, bratting, pussy slapping, spanking, clit stimulation, implied future smut, etc.

Enjoy (;

“Hey I get it, maybe it’s just too hard for you. Topping can be difficult, it requires a certain type of person…” you teased Larissa.

Your words made Larissa look up from the book she was reading and give you a glare.

She had been tolerating these teasing comments from you ever since you two had talked about wanting to spice up your sex lives, ever since Larissa had admitted to wanting to dominate you. But she was nervous and cautious. Larissa didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.

“I’m a switch you know, I understand, I have some experience on both sides. Maybe you’re just not a top…” you hummed tauntingly.

Larissa had to admit, your commments were starting to get under her skin. You being a switch and naturally bratty didn’t help. No, it only made her more annoyed and close to snapping. But she kept her impulses to herself for now.

What Larissa really wanted was to drag you to her lap and make you behave… And that was only the beginning of what she wanted to do to you…

“Watch your mouth...” was all Larissa said in a strained tone of annoyance.

You smirked. It was working.

“You know you told me that you wanted to be more dominant, ‘Rissa, so why not just bend me over your desk…?” You ignored the woman’s warning, continuing your taunting.

Larissa strongly resisted the urge to roll her eyes at you or to groan. Instead she sighed deeply.

“But of course I wouldn’t make it easy for you. I mean, could you even top me…?”

She turned the page in her book, her hold on the book tightening in annoyance and frustration.

You weren’t going to let this go. You wanted to push Larissa as far as she could go. You wanted her to snap and dominate you. Fuck you silly.

You were close to getting your wish…

“Behave or I swear to god I’ll fuck the brattyness out of you till you can’t walk…” Larissa gritted out.

You wiggled teasingly in your seat.

“I’d like to see you try…”

At this, Larissa growled. Full on growled. You had never heard sounds like that come from the poised woman. It sent sparks of electricity straight to your core.

But you weren’t giving up that easily. You stood up from your seat and sauntered over to where Larissa was sitting at her desk. You then sat down in her lap, straddling her left thigh. You then rolled your hips, letting out a leud groan in the woman’s ear. Larissa watched your every move intently. You rolled your hips a second time, letting out another leud groan.

“Fuck.” Larissa breathed out slowly, “You did not just do that.”

You bit your lip and grinned.

“I did… What are you gonna do about it…?” You taunted the woman.

Larissa growled again. Louder and lower this time. Something about it wiped the grin right off your face. Maybe you had bitten off more than you could chew…

Before you could do anything else, Larissa had lifted you by the scruff of your neck with ease, she’d spun you around, and had slammed you over the desk, bending over for her. Her hand held you firmly against the desk, your tits and faced squished.

Your heart raced and your breathing was off. You shook your ass at the woman in a teasing manner. You expected her to smack it as punishment, but she didn’t.

Instead you only felt her one hand on your back firmly. And then her other hand opening your legs wide. You heard a little shuffling off feet, before a sudden warmth against your thigh. You squirmed as Larissa licked a trail of her warmth up your inner thigh.

“Stay still.” She growled, stopping for a moment to command you, before continuing your torture.

You started to sweat. As she held you dimly against her desk, her tongue began to slowly unravel you. But again, you wouldn't give in that easy.

"I expect an answer when I give you an order…" she warily growled.

"Yes mommy…" you teasingly replied.

You gasped and cried out as Larissa hit your clothed cunt with her hand with a sharp smack.

She hit your pussy at least ten more times, leaving you shaking and fighting the desperate urge to squirm.

"It's Principal Weems or Miss Weems to you…" Larissa lustfully growled.

“Yes Miss Weems…” you groaned in a sing-song tone.

“Unless I ask you something, you are to stay silent and motionless. Understand?”

“Mhmmmm, whatever you say, Miss Weems…” you said while rolling your eyes.

She smacked your cunt five more times. This all was proving extra difficult as her tongue snaked its way to your core.

Eventually, it got to your clothed clit. Larissa’s cold fingers hooked your underwear aside with ease, before her hot mouth fully encaptured your clit and sucked.

“AhhhHhhhhHhhH—!!” You whimpered.

But your sound was met with Larissa’s mouth quickly retracting. Then followed by another hard smack to your cunt.

You bit your lip to stifle the whimper you were itching to let out. The smacks were starting to add up.

“Fuck you!!” You spat.

Larissa chuckled. She removed your pants from your body with ease. Then she smacked your ass. And hard. You were sure it would leave a mark.

“Say it again and I won’t stop until you’re crying…” Larissa growled darkly.

You couldn’t help yourself, instinctively sticking your ass high up in the air for the woman. Larissa chuckled and quirked her eyebrow.

“Oh do you like the idea of that…? You like to be spanked?” She taunted.

You nodded desperately.

“Love it Miss Weems…!!”

So she smacked your ass again. You squirmed and whimpered lightly.

“Silence, slut.”

You gasped at her choice pet name. And Larissa noticed. She leaned forward, her mouth right by the shell of your ear.

“I’m going to spank you like the little whore you are, and you are not going to make a sound… Right, pretty slut?”

You nodded.

“Yes Miss Weems…” you whimpered.

Larissa grinned at your words. And she proceeded to smack your ass raw. She truly didn’t stop until you were crying and begging for her to stop. And what she said while she spanked you, it made you the most wet that you’d ever been. You’d never heard such degrading speech.

Eventually, Larissa finally relented and got back on her knees. Latching her mouth onto your clit once more. Her free hands fingers teased your entrance too. Before giving in and giving you what you so desperately wanted, Larissa couldn’t resist the urge to fuck with you some more. Her fingers continued to tease your clit and entrance as she stood back up and placed her mouth by your ear.

“You’re such a desperately wet, slut… Need to be fucked and put in your place so badly… don’t you…?” Larissa taunted with a growl at the end.

“Mhmmmmm, miss weems p-please need it so bad…!” You whimpered desperately.

Your body was shaking and tear stains were across your face. You were sweating and in pure, tortuous bliss.

“You like it when I call you a slut, huh…? Like it when I call you out for being the whore you know you are…?”

You nodded vigorously, your cunt fluttering desperately around nothing.

“Tell me what you want, slut.” Larissa rasped in your ear.

“W-want to be full, stuffed all the way, Miss Weems… Please fill me up!! I’m your slut, stuff me full…!!” You begged the woman.

“Hmmmm… You’ve earned one finger, stupid slut…” Larissa hummed, roughly thrusting one finger inside you.

You bit your lip hard to contain the whimper that wanted to escape. And while her one finger was already heaven, you needed one stuffed full. You needed more. And she knew it.

“What’s the problem little whore…? Not enough for your massive cunt…?”

You nodded harshly with tears forming once more.

“More MORE please God more Miss Weems!!”

Your hands were now desperately fisting the sheets of the bed for some semblance of control and desperation.

“Beg, little slut… Beg me.”

You would have kept fighting the woman… if it wasn’t so easy to just give in… so you did. You crumbled. And gave the woman what she wanted… You submitted and begged.

Larissa Weems Masterlist

[rollinouttahere-writes]

Wait; I don’t remember much about some arcs, but the foxy the pirate arc was fun; if you’re willing to do anything with this it would be much appreciated!❤️

It’s about on child lucky/reader during the foxy the pirates where they take the reader during one of the games, trying to win her back. Since she’s a child and has no idea what’s going on, she starts crying and stuff, but once they win her back that she’s so clingy and won’t let go of them to the point where she just holds onto on their legs when they win her back and if they lose again; she starts fighting tooth and nails to not let go.

Or something else. I just want to read more child lucky stuff if you have any! Thank you for reading, have a good day author!

I keep telling myself that I’m not going to spoil Lucky Break… but y’all keep giving me these plot bunnies and I keep caving instantly

When I wrote Get Back Here! I’d only imagined the deaging to be temporary, but now this ask has me thinking about it being permanent and now Lucky has been factory reset into a four year old. It’s a very interesting dynamic to think about. I’m gonna have to write about this some more… I’m hereby calling this the Little Lucky AU

I’ve written something like this about the Foxy Pirates before actually! It was just a short drabble, here, but it’s got a similar vibe. The davy back fights do not mesh well with yanderes, and considering that normal, regular-ass Zoro suggested just killing them and leaving in the anime, I think I underplayed how dangerous yandere Zoro would be tbh

Ok so into the spoilers for Lucky Break. They would not get Lucky at all. Period. Why? Because they couldn’t have come in at a worse point in the story. Don’t get me wrong, the Straw Hats wouldn’t take it well at any point, but by this point in Lucky Break they are unhinged. Skypeia is a really bad time for Lucky, and it really messes with adult Lucky so child Lucky is going to be severely traumatized by it. Enel winds up being the tipping point for the Straw Hats going from low-key yandere to full on yandere. Everything post Skypeia takes on a darker tone to match it and the yandere elements of the story go from subtle to very intense.

By the time they get to Long Ring Long Land, Lucky is looking like she got thrown down a flight of stairs, electrocuted, and strangled. This is concerning to see on an adult, and is horrifying to see on a literal preschooler. The Foxy pirates aren’t even really being malicious when they try to take her, they’re genuinely concerned (and also suffering under the effects of Lucky’s amulet which becomes much more potent post Skypeia). They have a team meeting beforehand and are all like “so we’re gonna take the baby and leave the rest of them behind, right?” and no one disagrees.

But needless to say, all of the Straw Hats are on edge and fucking feral so this concern is not taken well. This was supposed to be a drabble, but as per usual I have no self control and wrote a whole ass chapter basically.

3.9k words

Resisting the urge to pick at your scabs was hard on a good day, but when you were feeling sick to your stomach with nerves, it felt impossible not to do. Not wanting to make Chopper upset, you move your hands to grasp at the brim of Luffy’s hat. Partially to keep your hand busy, and partially to keep it from falling over your eyes again.

You guess it made sense that they wouldn’t let you participate, but that didn’t make having to be separated from your friends any less nerve wracking. Luffy had tried to bring you onto his boat regardless, only relenting when Nami bitterly admitted that they had a point and you would be safer on land. 

Terrified at the idea of being alone, you immediately began to tear up and protest, but Luffy made a compromise with you. Since the race was going to be so dangerous, he needed someone to look after his hat and keep it safe. So, if you could be brave about being by yourself for a little while, he would entrust this task to you. Part of you still wasn’t happy about this, but you didn’t want to let Luffy down, so you put on a brave face and accepted. 

Now you were left to sit on the cliffside overlooking the start of the race, waiting for it to begin so it could be over already. At least not everyone else will be in the games after this. From your perch, you could see your friends frantically scanning through the crowd. Oh, they were probably looking for you.

Standing up, you maintained your hold on Luffy’s treasure with one hand and waved to them with the other. Sanji was the first to spot you and pointed you out to everyone else. They all swiveled their heads in your direction, and the relief on their faces was palpable. Everyone waved back at you, and Luffy stood up, rather shakily on his raft, to call out to you, “Don’t worry, Lucky! We’ll win this no problem!”

There were some chuckles coming from the audience, and the weird looking announcer guy felt the need to comment on this, “Oh! What’s this? The Straw Hat’s captain thinks they’ll win this no problem? A bold claim to make from someone who has never seen the might of! The! Foxy! Piiiiraaates!”

You winced at the sheer volume and noise of feedback, not able to resist the urge to cover your ears. Luffy’s hat fell over your eyes, blocking out the view but doing nothing to block out the noise. You already didn’t feel good, and that was not helped by the roar of applause and cheers coming from the crowd. 

The breath lodged in your throat. The onslaught of noise felt like it was coming at you from all angles, melding together and ultimately amping up into an obnoxious ringing in your ears. Your knees buckled, making you fall onto your behind as you struggled to force yourself to remember how to breathe.

It’s too much! It’s way too much! It’s-

“Hey!” Two familiar hands fell onto your shoulders, snapping you out of the downwards spiral you were falling victim to. One of the hands moves to lift the brim of the hat just enough for you to make eye contact with your best friend. He smiled, and just seeing it was enough to soothe you a little, “It’s going to be okay! Don’t listen to them, we’ve got this!”

“Y-Yeah, of course you do,” you choked out.

Luffy brought you in for a quick but tight hug, smushing your face into his red shirt, “That’s it! We’ll be back before you know it!”

“Luffy! If you’re not in your boat by the start of the race you will be disqualified!” The announcer shouted, causing you to flinch again.

His grip on you tightened, and while you couldn’t see it, you just knew that he was scowling. His neck snapped towards the announcer furiously, “I will be! Stop being so loud about it!” Gently, Luffy pulled you away from him, offering another smile. His voice was quieter than usual, “Don’t worry about it, we’ll beat them and be out of here before you know it.” 

With a quick pat to your head, he rocketed himself back to his raft, nearly flipping it over in the process. While the exchange had eased your fears a little, there was still an overhanging discomfort about the situation. What would happen if they didn’t win? Who would those other pirates take? You shook your head. No. You’re not gonna think about it! Luffy will win, you just know it.

The distinct sound of grass crunching beneath feet made your shoulders tense up. Hesitantly, you turned to identify who was coming up behind you. It was two people. One of them was the captain, you think Luffy said his name was Split-Head? Yeah that sounds right. The other one was some big monkey-looking guy. You’re pretty sure his name was Hamburger, a funny name but who are you to judge?

Split-Head grinned at you, but it was not providing the warmth and comfort that Luffy’s gave you. It reminded you of a sleazy salesman that your mother yelled at in the mall one time for being too pushy. Maybe he’ll go away if you ignore him? You hope so.

“Why hello there, young lady! Your captain didn’t include your name on the roster, can you tell me it?” Split-Head was now crouched down next to you, much too close for comfort.

You kept your head down and shrugged, “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”

This didn’t deter him in the slightest, “Aww, come on! You won’t make friends that way, kid. You can trust me! I’m captain Foxy of the Foxy pirates!” From your peripherals you could see him puffing out his chest in pride. His name is Foxy? Split-Head is more fitting in your humble opinion. He must think really high of himself. “There, now I’m not a stranger!”

It seems like this guy isn’t going away any time soon. You dug your heels into the dirt anxiously, wishing he would leave you alone. “Yeah, well… you’re still strange,” you mumbled.

Split-Head-Foxy let out an offended gasp, then fell to his knees with a gloomy aura looming over him. Wow. He’s pushy, full of himself, weird, AND dramatic. You rolled your eyes and took a decisive step away from him, looking out at the ocean as the race finally started. 

It was then that it dawned on you that this race went around the whole island, meaning that you’re going to have to run to try and keep up. Emphasis on the try. Without a word to the two pirates bothering you, you ran after your friends’ boats. Both of your hands were tightly grasping the hat on your head to prevent it from flying off. Sure, there was a string attached to it around your neck, but you didn’t want to risk it.

Immediately, it became obvious that you were not going to be able to keep up. Even if you were at your best, you wouldn’t be fast enough. But with how injured you were, everything was sore and the pain of your muscles pulling on your scabs made your run more like a trot. The Straw Hats’ boats were getting farther and farther away, and you could feel frustrated tears prickling at your eyes.

There was the sound of… galloping? Yeah, galloping behind you. Pretty soon, Foxy pulled up next to you riding Hamburger like a horse. Man, this guy just keeps getting weirder.

“Looks like you need a ride there, kid. Why don’t you hop on so we can watch this race together, hm?” Foxy held out his hand to you, smiling smugly. Memories of your preschool teacher telling the class to never get in a stranger’s car came to mind. A monkey man isn’t exactly a car, but you think the same idea applies here.

You shook your head vigorously, “No, I don’t wanna go with you.”

Foxy’s smile fell, and his hand drooped. He plastered it back on his face after a moment, “Kid, you’re not going to be able to keep up, just come with me. I’ve got some candy! I’ll give you some if you hop on!”

A stranger offering you candy to get in their vehicle was another thing your teacher warned you about. Yeah, this was definitely a bad guy you shouldn’t talk to. You doubled your effort to run a little faster to put some distance between you and them, “No! Leave me alone!”

They sped up, closing the gap in seconds. Instead of saying anything, Hamburger simply reached out and plucked you right off your feet then dropped you onto Foxy. Naturally, you started thrashing and screaming, “Let go of me! Put me down! Stranger danger!”

Hamburger laughed at your terror, “What a feisty child.”

“Quit laughing Hamburg, she’s kicking up a storm,” he was frantically trying to get a good hold on you. “Calm down! We’re not going to hurt you, we’re help- OW!” You managed to land a good kick to his face. Despite that, he was able to hold onto you. He spun you so that you were facing away from him.

His hand grabbed your face and turned it to gaze out at the ocean, “Look! We’re caught up now!”

True to his word, you could see the contestants. Your face scrunched up in confusion, not seeing Luffy and Sanji’s boat anywhere. Or Zoro and Chopper’s. Were they that far ahead? Yeah, that was definitely it, had to be. You could still see Usopp, Nami, and Robin at least. Seeing them made you feel a little calmer.

“See? We were just trying to help you out,” his smug grin was back. “Now how about you tell me your name?”

As much as you didn’t want to, he probably wouldn’t shut up about it until you did, “It’s Lucky.”

“Lucky? Is that supposed to be a nickname or something?” “It’s my name! You asked and I told you, stop bugging me about it,” you grumbled. You want to get down, but you get the feeling they wouldn’t let you do that. At least you get to follow the race now.

Foxy fished around in his pocket and pulled out some brightly colored objects, “Here, I bet you want some candy, don’t you?”

It’s bad enough that you’re riding with him, you’re not gonna take any candy from this weirdo, “No thank you, I don’t want any.”

He sighed and stuffed it back in his pocket. You hoped this would be the end of his chattering. Unfortunately, it didn’t appear that luck was on your side today. Or this week, really. Foxy held out your arm, scrutinizing all the scabbed over burns on it, “How did this happen, Lucky?”

“It’s none of your business, I don’t wanna talk about it mister,” you huffed. You didn’t want to even think about that ever again. About him. About how cold and uncaring his eyes were. About how much it hurt. Your shoulders started to shake and your lip trembled.

“Whoa, hey it’s okay! You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to!” Foxy brought you in for a hug, but you really didn’t want it. You squirmed and tried to get away from him, but he wasn’t letting you.

“What’s this?! The last remaining Straw Hat boat has broken into first place with incredible speed!” The announcer shouted.

Wait. Last remaining?! How was there only one boat left?! You looked out to see Usopp, Nami, and Robin barreling towards the finish line. They were going to win! They needed to if they were the only ones left.

Foxy cursed under his breath, “Hamburg, you need to hurry to the end goal!”

Hamburger only nodded and sped up. You were kinda impressed by how fast he was able to go. Despite being pestered by these two so much, you were smiling and kicking your feet in excitement. They were going to win this race! And then they would win the other two races, too!”

A little ways before the finish line, Hamburg came to a halt, and Foxy hopped off. You took the opportunity to scramble off him, too. You rushed to the cliff and called out, “You can do it! You’re gonna win!” If they heard you, they didn’t react.

“I wouldn’t count your chickens before they hatch, Lucky,” Foxy stated ominously. He held out his hands and made some weird shapes with them, like he was trying to make shadow puppets. All you could do was eye him curiously, trying to figure out what that was supposed to mean. You don’t have any chickens, why is he talking about counting them? Weird. 

His fingers were pointed right at your friends and then he said something about a slow-slow beam. Your friends, who were previously rocketing towards the finish, abruptly slowed down to a crawl, seemingly unable to move. Your jaw dropped as the other boat with the pointy nosed girl on it took the lead and then, much to your horror, won the race.

You whipped around to Foxy, who was looking quite proud of himself, “What did you do?!”

“I put my devil fruit to good use, that’s what! I can slow down anything with my slow-slow beam.”

“That’s cheating! You’re a cheater!” You stomped your foot angrily, pointing an accusing finger at him.

“No it’s not. I said there were no rules in this race, didn’t I? That means I’m allowed to help my team from the sidelines if I want.” He tried to pat your head, but you slapped his hand away.

“But that’s not fair!”

“Life isn’t fair, kid, you should get used to it and be a good sport about your team losing,” Foxy had the audacity to try and scold you for your behavior. Who does he think he is?!

“I hate you! Stupid Split-Head!” You kicked his shin before running off to try and find your friends, you need to tell them about this. 

Due to how large Foxy’s crew was, it was difficult to find one of your friends. Especially when everyone was trying to get you to stop and talk to them for some reason. Finally, though, you spotted the red shirt that you would recognize in a heartbeat. 

“Luffy!” 

That catches his attention, alright. He whirls around and then runs to meet you. Knowing the drill, you lift your arms so he can pick you up. He does just that, holding you out in front of him, “There you are!” His clothes were wet and water was dripping out of his hair, he must have fallen into the ocean at some point.

Your first order of business was to return his prized possession to him. You pulled the hat off your head and placed it onto his, albeit a bit crooked, “I kept your hat safe for you!”

“I knew you could, good job Lucky!” Luffy pulled you in to balance you on his hip and used his free hand to ruffle your hair.

Now onto the big thing, “Luffy, that Split-Head guy is a cheater! He’s got a devil fruit that makes stuff super slow and he used it on Usopp, Nami, and Robin! He uses his fingers to do it!”

“Is that what happened?!” The grin he was previously sporting dropped and he looked surprised.

You nodded, “Mmhm! I saw it myself!”

Luffy mimicked your nod, humming in thought, “Well now that we know about it, we can look out for it in the next game. We’ll figure out how to beat it, don’t worry!”

You looked away, picking at his shirt nervously, “Are you sure? You said the same thing about winning the race, but…” 

He tensed up from that, “Hey, come on! Have some faith in me, in all of us. We’ll win the rest of the matches for sure!” Luffy knelt down to put you on the ground, “Now how about you go stand with the others, okay?”

“Okay,” you didn’t really want to leave him, but you needed to listen to him. He probably had important captain stuff to do. It only took a second to spot some of the others. They weren’t far away and were watching your interaction with Luffy. You hurried over, squeezing yourself in between Robin and Sanji.

Sanji dropped onto his knees and brought you into a tight hug. He was also soaking wet. “Were you okay being on your own, princess? No one bothered you, did they?”

“I’m okay. Some people did bother me, but I gave them the slip after I kicked one of them in the shins,” you declared proudly.

Sanji’s face pinched in fury, “Who?”

“Um,” you took a second to remember their names again. “Oh, Foxy and Hamburger!”

“Hamburger? Do you mean Hamburg?” Robin asked, stifling a chuckle. Oh yeah, Foxy did call him that, didn’t he?

“Yeah, that. They kept trying to talk to me and made me come with them to watch the race. I didn’t want to, but Hamburger- I mean Hamburg, picked me up and made me come with. Oh, and Foxy tried to give me candy but I didn’t take any.”

Sanji was scowling and looked ready to go on a rampage. Forcing himself to take a deep breath, he let you go and stood up while digging his cigarettes and lighter out of his pockets. He was muttering about caving their heads in later.

The announcer and captain were standing on a stage and said that it was time to announce who they were taking for their victory. Your heart sank and you clung onto Robin’s leg nervously. Who were they going to steal? Would Luffy really be able to win them back? What if they won all three rounds and stole three of your friends? Robin pet your hair reassuringly.

“We have decided on who is becoming a Foxy pirate! It is none other than,” there was a pause for dramatic effect. Your stress was climbing with every second. The announcer took a deep breath and finally finished the sentence, “Lucky!”

Everyone fell silent, but for only a second. Then chaos erupted.

“Absolutely not!” Nami shrieked.

“You said she was too young to participate!” Sanji interjected.

“We said she was too young to participate in the fights, not that she was off the table for this part,” Foxy pointed out with a smirk.

“She’s four years old! What could you possibly want from her?!” Sanji was already mad before the announcement, but now he was furious.

“That doesn’t matter, you need to hand her over now, lest you want to break the rules,” Foxy reminded him.

Sanji was distracted from his argument as he heard a sob behind him. From you. Robin was quick to scoop you up, cradling you in her arms and trying to calm you down. “Now look what you did! She’s crying!” Sanji barked at them.

“I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna!” You wailed, clinging onto Robin like your life depended on it. Which, as far as you were concerned, it did.

“Pick someone else, Lucky isn’t going to go with you,” Luffy spoke. His tone was cool, but the words were sharp.

“Don’t tell me what to do, straw hat. I’m making the rules here, not you. She’s a pirate, is she not? She needs to learn not to be such a crybaby. Besides, once she’s with us she’ll see how nice we are!” Foxy crowed proudly. 

“This is cruel, she’s just a child!” Robin chimed in, clutching you to her chest even tighter.

“Quit complaining so much, it’s not like we’re going to hurt her any worse than she’s already been hurt. We’re probably better suited for protecting her than you are,” the pointy-nosed woman was now approaching you and Robin, looking annoyed. “Now give her to me. Come here, Lucky! Do you want to go get some cotton candy with me?”

Her reaching for you only made you scream louder, “NO NO NO! I’m not going!” She tried to grab you anyways, but Robin was quick to put a stop to that. Arm sprouted from the woman’s body and immobilized her. 

Robin backed up by several paces, “Get away from her, you’re just going to make this worse!”

At this point, tears were pouring down your face and you felt like you couldn’t breathe despite how frantically your lungs were working. You coughed and hacked between hysteric breaths and sobs. Your heart was pounding out of your chest and your head hurt. They were going to take you away. You were going to be taken away from your friends again. Just like in Skypeia.

They were going to steal you.

They were going to hurt you.

“Don’t let me get taken away again!” You wailed at the top of your lungs.

Foxy scoffed, “This is getting ridiculous! Fine, if you won’t give her to us then I’ll tak-”

His sentence was ended abruptly by Luffy’s fist connecting with his face. A sickening crunch cut through the air. Before he even hit the ground, Luffy’s hand grabbed hold of his jacket and pulled him close. As soon as he was in range, Luffy was on him. 

He climbed on top of him and as Foxy was raising his hands to defend himself, Luffy grabbed them and snapped his fingers before he could put his devil fruit to use. Then Luffy began wailing on him, furious, raw screams erupting from his throat.

Everyone was frozen in place, shocked at the display, but then the crowd rushed at Luffy to save their captain. They couldn’t even get close, though. Zoro leapt into action, cutting them down like paper. You weren’t able to see anything else after that, as Robin snapped out of her own state of shock and buried your face in her neck. “Don’t watch this, Lucky,” she whispered.

A hand landed on your head, gently stroking your hair. It feels like Sanji. He confirmed this by speaking lowly, “Robin, get Nami and Chopper and head back to the ship. Prepare it to set sail, it looks like we’re not going to be finishing these games after all.” He peaked around her shoulder to be able to look you in the eyes, “Don’t worry Lucky. We will never let you get taken away again, I promise.”

Many Foxy pirates swarmed around you ready to attack, only to get sent flying by Sanji. He didn’t even look back at you and Robin, “Go! I’ll protect you so just focus on getting the others and going back to the ship.”

“Right, let’s go Lucky,” Robin held you securely in her arms and ran. “Navigator! Doctor! We’re leaving, follow me!” They didn’t need to be told twice, cutting through the crowd to run in tandem with you and Robin. “We need to free the ship and get it ready to sail!”

“Should be easy enough,” Nami said. She caught your eye and switched to a softer tone, “When we get back to the ship, I need you to go hide in our room until one of us comes to get you, okay?”

“O-Okay,” you sniffled pitifully. At least the tears had stopped now. You chose to nestle in closer in Robin arms for the duration of the sprint back to the Going Merry, eager to leave and for this to all be behind you.

[deadgirlwalking91]

new update - 'thank you for the venom', chapter 6: 'this isn’t what i wanted but i can’t keep my filthy fucking mouth shut'

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter 6 Summary

Lute bites off more than she can chew; Adam remembers he's not just Lute's punching bag... he's her boss.

Author's note:

Thanks to everybody who has read/engaged so far! I hope you like this one - it was great fun to write. Feel free to comment and inbox away, doesn't have to be about this fic. Happy to chat anything and everything guitarspear!

Cheers to @branded-rose for beta-ing once again; there's a snippit in here that I didn't send you, by the way. You'll know it when you see it ;)

***

Adam and Lute’s Office, Exorcist Training Centre, Heaven

It had been a month since the Great Bathroom Incident, and the Exorcists were beginning to feel the effects of burnout.

Layla collapsed from exhaustion during a gruelling combat tournament that Lute had sprung on the girls one training session. It turned out she had been hitting the gym twice daily to ensure her physical fitness could keep up with the increasingly difficult drills that Lute had been implementing.

Adam also knew for a fact that the gym wasn’t the only thingLayla had been hitting lately, but he was trying this new tactic with women where he didn’t kiss and tell.

Layla was one of many Exorcists who were suffering the effects of extreme fatigue due to their intense training regime. Over the course of a fortnight, there was at least two new injuries or incidents daily that arose, which meant one thing: More. Fucking. Paperwork.

As if he didn’t have enough shit on his plate already, he now had to spend more time in the office with the she-devil herself, who was still a raging bitch to him on the daily.

She was even worse than usual – not that Adam thought it was possible - now that their increased workload meant they had to stay back late each night to ensure the incident reports were completed in a timely manner. If there was one thing Sera got her panties in a twist about, it was overdue incident reports. Which, unfortunately for Adam, meant that Lute was also on the warpath about them.

The moment he stepped into their office on Monday morning, he knew he was in for it.

“Think you could fucking manage to be on time for once?” Lute snapped, eyes not leaving the paperwork she was frantically filling out.

“Think you could manage not to be a raging cunt for once?” Adam retorted, slamming a take-away cup down on her desk. Not that she fucking deserved it. He hoped the coffee was so hot that it would burn her mouth.

Without acknowledging the insult, Lute grabbed the cup and started drinking desperately from it, disgust clearly written all over her face as she chugged the beverage.

“Don’t get me that milky shit again,” she snarled, tossing the cup into the bin. “In fact, stop buying me coffee every morning, would you?”

“You seemed to enjoy it enough,” Adam retorted. “A ‘thank-you’ would be nice though, you rude bitch.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Lute looked up at him for the first time that morning, despite insulting him at least twice since his arrival. Adam couldn’t hold back his wince – she looked awful. Dark bags lined the underneath of her eyes, which were red rimmed with exhaustion, her hair looked like a brush hadn’t been taken to it in weeks and even from where he stood, he could see how physically tense she was.

“You look like hell.”

For once, Lute resisted the urge to retort back, though her eyes narrowed into slits as she glared at him.

“I’m serious. You look like you need a good dicking.” Adam dropped into his seat and started sorting through his own pile of paperwork. “Not that I’m offering. My cock would probably shrivel up and fall off once I stick it in because –”

“Will you shut the fuck up?!” Lute shouted, standing and gripping the edge of her desk so tightly Adam could see the whites of her already pale knuckles. She looked positively rattled, and he wasn’t sure if it was a trick of the light, but her eyes seemed to be glistening. “C-c…” She took a shuddering breath to steady herself and looked around the room, avoiding eye contact, running her hand through her cropped hair. “Can you just…go?”

Adam studied her, frowning. In all the years they’d worked together, he’d never seen Lute lose her cool like this. Sure, she was in a perpetual foul mood, and often directed said foul moods at him, so he was used to her sharp tongue and venomous insults.

But…emotional Lute?

He didn’t know how to deal with an emotional Lute. He didn’t deal well with normal women who were emotional. He’d hate to think of how he’d handle his unhinged second-in-command who hated his guts on any regular day.

And yet… there was a nagging voice, somewhere deep in the back of his brain, that was urging him to cut her some slack. Give her a break.

Adam couldn’t quite place his finger on what caused him to listen to that voice, and there was every chance he’d live to regret it, but instead of kicking Lute while she was down – tempting as it was, given she’d been such a bitch lately - he decided to do the opposite.

He was going to grant her a reprieve.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said simply, staring at her. “You on the other hand, are dismissed for the day, Lieutenant.”

Lute’s head whipped towards Adam, her mouth agape.

“What?” she hissed.

“You heard me. Go home.”

“I’m not going home!” she shrieked. The glisten Adam thought he caught in her eyes earlier were now full-blown tears, threatening to spill down her cheeks. “Who’s going to do all the paperwork? Who will take training today?”

“Nice to know you hold so much faith in me.” Adam said dryly. “You’re a fucking mess, Lute. I need you to get your shit together. I can’t have you taking it out on the rest of the girls, not when they’re already dropping like flies every day.”

Lute gaped at him wordlessly.

“Close your mouth. You’re going to pack your stuff and go home. Now. If I catch you putting a single piece of paper in your bag so you can continue working from home, I’m adding another day to your dismissal.”

“What will Sera say?” she whispered, fear evident in her voice.

“Don’t worry about Sare-bear, she probably won’t notice. If she does, I’ll say you’re unwell. Women’s problems, or some shit.”

Lute let out a shaky laugh. “Great. Just what I wanted her to know.”

“One more thing,” Adam added, leaning back in his chair. “We’re having dinner tonight. You and me.” He pointed back and forth between the two of them. “After you’ve taken the day to wash the sand out of your vagina, and you’re a nicer person because of it, we’re going to go out to dinner and talk through some shit. Finish our conversation from where we left off a month ago.”

“I –” Lute started, but Adam held his hand up for her to stop.

“Shut up. It’s not negotiable, Lute. I’ll meet you at seven. For once, wear something that isn’t workout gear or your uniform. Got it?”

For what seemed like minutes, but really would have only been the matter of seconds, Lute stared at Adam, frowning like she wanted to argue but something was holding her back.

“Fine,” she answered. “See you then.”

Lute’s Apartment, Apartment Block, Exorcist Training Centre, Heaven

Lute sat on the edge of her bed, wrapped in a towel, staring into her wardrobe.

She had no fucking idea what to wear.

This wasn’t a predicament she usually found herself in; the beauty of being as unsociable as she was meant that she didn’t need an array of outfits stashed in her closet for impromptu events such as dinners with her boss.

In fact, her wardrobe mostly consisted of workout gear, her exorcist uniform and a few other select items of clothing. All of it was black. None of it was fancy. Or particularly feminine.

Sighing, she tousled her damp hair. This was stupid. Going to dinner with Adam was stupid. Adam was stupid. She could be using this time to catch up on the paperwork she missed out on doing while she’d been stood down for the day.

Lute would never admit it to Adam, but she had managed to relax for most of the day. And by relax, she completed a two-hour home workout, scrubbed her apartment from top to bottom, rearranged her pantry and finished all her laundry. This was all after she spent a good hour sulking about being sent home and wishing nothing less than a slow and painful death on her boss. Her version of sulking happened to consist of throwing things around her apartment until they broke.

She reached for her phone and tapped out a quick text message, hating herself for initiating conversation with Adam outside of work hours, but what other choice did she have?

Lute: Where are we going?

She tossed her phone aside and flopped backwards onto the bed. Knowing her luck, she’d make somewhat of an effort with her appearance, and he’d take her to a damn fast-food restaurant. Or she’d dress casually, and he’d humiliate her by taking her to a fancy restaurant, which she wouldn’t put past him.

It wasn’t the instantaneous reply that took her by surprise, but more the response itself.

Adam: Do you like BBQ?

Unsure how to answer, her fingers hovered over the screen of her phone before she replied.

Lute: Don’t know. Never had it.

Adam: Didn’t think so.

Lute hissed at her phone and threw it across her bed. Fuck it, she wasn’t going. It’d be a waste of time anyway – no doubt they’d start arguing and she’d probably get so irritated that she’d throw her drink on him and storm out of the restaurant.

Only for the next morning to come and it’d all repeat again. The childish jibes, the insults, the threats of murder…

Her phone buzzed again, unexpectedly interrupting her thoughts. Probably Vaggie asking where she was today. She reached across her bed and tapped the screen.

Adam: It’s not fancy. Hellfire Bar & Grill. See you at 7.

Well. That at least gave her something to work with. Sighing, she got up and started sifting through the clothing in her wardrobe for what seemed like the four hundredth time, wishing she was doing anything but going out for dinner with Adam that night.

Hellfire Bar & Grill, Heaven

For once, Adam had arrived somewhere earlier than Lute. She wasn’t surprised; considering he was highly food motivated she was willing to bet that had something to do with it.

What she was surprised at, however, was the fact that he was dressed entirely in casual clothing. She’d only ever seen him in three outfits before, and they were all different variations of the same robe. It was jarring, seeing him dressed in civilian clothing but still donning his usual helmet and mask.

“Hey,” he greeted her, looking up from his phone as he saw her approach.

“Hi.”

“Have you calmed the fuck down?”

Lute narrowed her eyes. “If you’ve asked me to come here so you can insult me, I’m turning around and going back home.”

“I would have thought,” he sighed, pocketing his phone and opening the door to the restaurant. “That some time off would have put you in a better mood.”

Ignoring him, Lute entered the restaurant and waited while he requested a table. Luckily for them - or unluckily, Lute thought – it wasn’t very busy, so they were seated swiftly.

“What can I get you two lovebirds to drink?” Their waitress chirped, beaming at them both.

“He’s not my fuckin-”

“We’re not dating, babe.” Adam grinned up at the waitress, who at his words, seemed to suddenly be very taken by him. “You and me, though? That could work. Two glasses of your best red wine, thanks.”

Lute shot him a disgusted look, wrinkling her nose at his blatant flirting. Sleazebag.

The waitress was clearly infatuated with Adam, because she giggled incessantly as she flounced away with their drink order.

“How do you know what I drink?” Lute demanded.

“The night I came to your apartment –”

“Broke into my apartment.” Lute corrected him, folding her arms.

Adam waved a hand carelessly in the air. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. You had an open bottle of red wine on the bench, so I figured you drank it.”

“The things you learn when you break and enter.”

Before he could retort, the waitress returned with their drinks. She also held a piece of paper which she slipped not-so discreetly across the table to Adam. Winking at her, he pocketed the paper and Lute had to force herself to look away, lest she start gagging as the woman practically melted on the spot in excitement.

What all those women saw in him, she’d never fucking know.

“So,” Adam cleared his throat, shifting in his seat as the waitress practically skipped away. “Did you, uh, relax today?”

“I did.”

Silence. Lute, not really wanting to divulge any further information to Adam, fiddled with the sleeve of her jacket, staring around the restaurant. To their right was a couple who showed all the signs of being on their first date. Hands entwined atop the table, the angels were staring into each other’s eyes, not talking. Just… staring. With stupid smiles on their faces.

Lute rolled her eyes and shifted her focus to the table on their left, the couple occupying that space arguing in hushed voices, though one of the two women looked like they were dangerously close to tears.

Wonderful.

She lifted her wine glass to her lips and sipped, trying to fill the silence with something.

‘What did you do?” Adam pressed, drumming his fingers on the table.

“I worked out. I cleaned. I did laundry.”

“Didn’t I tell you to relax?”

“I don’t really do relaxing.” Another sip of wine. The way this meeting was going, she’d polish off the entire bottle before she got the chance to even eat.

“You were relaxing the night I came around to talk.”

Lute stiffened at the mention of that night. She set her glass down on the table, frowning as she ran her thumb and index finger up and down the stem. She was unsure how to answer – it would be easiest to tell Adam where to go, but the reality was that she was tired, and wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep up the back and forth between them.

“I haven’t done it since.”

“Because of me?”

Lute felt her stomach knot, her hands growing warm and clammy. She removed them from her glass and wiped them down on her jeans. The last thing she wanted to do was get into a back-and-forth about that incident. Again.

“Why are we here?” Lute asked, her eyes snapping up and glaring at Adam. “What’s even the point of meeting here tonight? For you to -”

“Hey! Are you guys ready to order?” Another overly chirpy waitress was back, her smile almost blinding Lute. Her teeth were so white, it was alarming.

Lute stared at her menu, not registering anything that was on it.

“Usual for me, thanks babe,” Adam said, handing his menu back to the waitress. They both looked expectantly at Lute. Shit. She scanned the menu again, but nothing jumped out at her as particularly enticing. Truthfully, she didn’t particularly care for food – to her, it was just fuel to keep herself going.

“Uh, I’ll just have what he’s having. Thanks.”

Adam stared at her incredulously as the waitress took her menu and sauntered off, her small wings flapping happily.

“I’m not sure that was the best choice,” he said, eyeing her wearily. “I ordered –”

“I didn’t know what to pick, okay? I don’t really eat this stuff.”

“What do you eat, then?”

“What is this, twenty-fucking-questions?” Lute snapped. “I don’t have the time, or the patience to play bullshit games with you. What do you want?”

They both glared at each other from across the table, Lute’s golden eyes boring into the screen of Adam’s mask. For what felt like minutes, neither of them spoke.

The loved-up couple next to them were now tangled together atop a single dining chair, making out sloppily, the noisy smack of their lips filling the awkward silence. Lute’s eye twitched in annoyance, and she had to turn her head so she couldn’t see their tongues being shoved down each other’s throats.

“Shit, that’s annoying,” Adam scowled, taking a sip of his wine.

“If they keep going, they’re going to end up fucking on the table in front of us. Gross.” Lute muttered, also drinking. Their eyes met again, though this time there was the slightest hint of a smirk behind Adam’s mask.

He sighed and looked away, frowning.

“Lute. I’m going to level with you,” he said, leaning his forearms onto the table. “We need to make this work. The stakes for Extermination Day are fucking high this year.”

“What do you mean?”

 “Sera – ” Adam cut himself off, frowning. Lute studied him with mild curiosity as he paused, collecting his thoughts, his hand rubbing his chin. “Sera… she’s put a lot of faith in your proposal. And I won’t bullshit you – I thought it was a load of crap when I first read it. Too much math involved. If I can’t do the sum using my fingers, it’s too fucking hard.”

“Good thing calculators have been invented.”

“Wouldn’t know, I’ve never used one. Smartass. Anyway, after you left today, I took the time to read it again. I’ll admit, there’s…potential for it to work. But speaking from experience babe, a few adjustments need to be made.” Adam reached for his glass and swirled his wine, taking a sip once he was satisfied the burgundy liquid had been aerated enough. “Wanna hear them?”

Lute crossed her arms. “What are you getting out of this? I’ve worked with you for many years. I know you don’t offer anything up unless you’re getting something out of it.”

“You’re right. I don’t.”

“Spit it out, then.”

“Fine. Stop being such a fucking bitch all the time.”

“Excuse me?” Lute spat, her eyes automatically wandering to the steak knife set in front of her.

“You heard me, Lute. Statistically, you might be my top girl, but you rank dead last on my list when it comes to personality. Maybe if you loosened up and had a little fun –”

“Dinner’s here!” Two very large, very meaty plates were set down on the table in front of each of them. Lute wrinkled her nose, immediately regretting her decision to blindly order her dinner.

She should have known Adam would have ordered ribs, considering he waxed lyrical about them on an almost-daily basis. There had to be at least two dozen on each plate, all covered in a sticky glaze. Just lookingat the plate was giving her the sweats. She glanced over at Adam, who was watching her reaction intently.

“You know,” he began uncertainly, eyeing the sheer volume of food between the two of them. “You don’t have to eat that. You can always order someth-”

“I’ll eat them.”

“Sure? There’s a lo-”

“I’ll be fine. I bet,” Lute added, folding her arms across her chest, an unknown bravado washing over her, “I can keep up for you, rib-for-rib.”

Adam choked on the sip of wine he’d been taking.

“You’re not fucking serious!” he spluttered, wiping his screen with the back of his hand.

“Did I stutter?” She picked up one of the ribs, instantly regretting her declaration that she’d eat what looked to be her entire bodyweight in meat. Why couldn’t she have picked a normal meal, like a steak? Steak would have been safe. Steak would have been easy. Steak wouldn’t have ignited her competitive streak and didn’t come with potential digestion issues.

But no. She just had to open her mouth. And if there was one thing that Lute did not do, it was back out of a challenge. Especially one that she initiated.

“Ready?”

“Lute, this isn’t a good idea, I mean it, the ribs are –”

Staring Adam down, she held the ends of the rib in each hand and tore a chunk off meat off with her teeth. She grimaced – the glaze was sickly sweet, and they were…

“– spicy.” Adam said, wincing.

She maintained eye contact as she chewed, hating herself for not thinking before speaking. The meat burned her throat as she swallowed, the spice hitting her nose and tears prickling at her eyes.

Lute closed her eyes and bit into the rib again, stripping the meat from the bone completely.

“You,” Adam started, picking up a rib of his own and shaking his head, “are the craziest bitch I’ve ever met, you know that, right?”

Lute wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and tossed the bone onto the spare plate on the table. “Try and keep up, Sir.” She reached for another piece of meat and noticed Adam staring at her, an unusual expression depicted on his mask. “What?”

“You called me ‘Sir’.”

“And?”

He shrugged. “It wasn’t sarcastic.”

Lute grabbed her napkin, wiping her nose which has started to run. “Must have slipped out. I can assure you it won’t happen again.” 

She watched with vague interest as Adam started eating. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen him consume food – in fact, he regularly ate at his desk in their shared office. It was the first time though, that she focused on the food disappearing into the void of his mask.

Because it did exactly that. It just… disappeared. Almost like there was nothing underneath.

Maybe…maybe that was actually his face, and she’d been wrong about it being a mask all along.

“How does that thing work, anyway?” She managed to swallow rib number three considerably easier than the first two.

“Holy magic, babe.”

“Care to elaborate?” Four down, twenty to go. Her stomach churned at the thought.

“Who’s playing twenty questions now?” he snapped suddenly, glaring at her. “Drop it.”

“So you’re allowed to interrogate me, but I can’t ask you anything?” Another rib done. She was getting hotter, and Lute could feel the sweats starting to kick in. Wiping her glaze-covered hands on her napkin, she shrugged out of her jacket and hung it on the back of her chair. The cool air was welcomed on her skin, and she silently thanked herself for choosing a top with thin straps.

“I didn’t say you couldn’t ask me anything. For example, if you were to ask me if I’m surprised that you own feminine clothing,” Adam waved a hand at her, “I’d say yes.”

Lute scowled. “I’m feminine.” She ripped the meat off rib number six with her front teeth, holding the bone expertly now with one hand. Wiping her mouth with her hand again, she reached for her wine and sipped steadily, using the liquid to help wash the food down.

“You’re the least feminine Exorcist in the fucking army.”

“That’s because I’m the only one you haven’t slept with.”

“Not true. I haven’t slept with the ones that are into chicks.” Adam counted the rib bones on his plate. “I’m at nine, by the way, what about you?”

“How are you at nine? I started before you, and I’m only on seven. And that’s just great. Wonderful. I’m the only straight one you haven’t touched. That makes me feel amazing.” Lute gnawed at her rib, her face flushing in embarrassment.

It wasn’t like she considered herself attractive or anything like that. Truthfully, she’d never thought about it because her appearance had never been of high importance to her. Sure, she liked her hair cropped a certain way, and she’d very rarely wear a small amount of makeup on special occasions, but that was the extent of it.

Moodily, she threw the bone down, not caring where it landed, and reached for another piece of meat.

“Shit – I, uh, didn’t realise you were into dick.” Adam at least had the gall to look somewhat embarrassed. “I just assumed you and Vaggie –”

“You assumed Vaggie and I what?” she growled.

“I’m not judging, babe!” Adam held his glaze-covered hands up in defence. “Love is love, right? And, between you and me, there’s nothing hotter than watching a woman eat pu -”

Lute chucked her eighth bone at him in disgust, cutting him off and hitting him square in the chest. The couple to their left, who had been arguing all night, stopped their bickering and glared at her.

“The fuck are you looking at?” Lute snarled at them, fingers wrapping around the steak knife that still lay atop the table. “You bitches have been going back and forth all night, but me throwing food somehow offends you?” She pointed the blade of the knife at them. “Turn around and shut the fuck up before I –”

The women stood hastily from their table and scurried towards the exit, one of them tossing Lute a scared look over her shoulder. She sighed, satisfied, and grabbed another rib, hand still on the knife’s handle.

“You,” Adam began wearily, shaking his head, “are a fucking nutcase. You know that, right?”

Lute shrugged and kept eating. “I don’t suffer fools.”

“I can see that.”

“Which is why you irritate me so much.”

“I’m no fool,” Adam declared, counting his rib bones out with his finger, starting over once as he accidentally confused himself. “I’m more than halfway done, by the way.”

“Me too. And yes, you are a fool.”

Adam crossed his arms and sat back in his chair. “Before our dinner came, I was trying to explain how, if we tweak your proposal slightly, you’ll have more success with your training plan.”

Exhaling, Lute closed her eyes. She was starting to feel nauseous and if she kept going, she was going to be sick. Maybe she was the fool. “I’m pretty sure you were in the middle of calling me an uptight bitch with a shitty personality, actually.”

He clicked his fingers. “That’s it! Thanks for reminding me.”

Lute opened her eyes and narrowed them at him.

“What? You’ve just jogged my memory. Anyway, you’ve been riding the girls too hard,” he stopped to snigger at his choice of words, and Lute rolled her eyes at his immaturity as she grabbed more ribs. “You need to give them some time off.”

“They already get weekends and evenings off, what more do they need?”

 “A night out on the town.”

“You’re telling me,” Lute said, pointing her bone at him accusingly, “that the reason you dragged me out to this stupid restaurant is so that you can propose some kind of night of fucked-up debauchery with your harem of women? And I’m meant to be okay with that?”

“Settle down, Dangertits. As hot as a harem would be, I’m thinking more a night at a bar with a few drinks. Let the girls have a good time.”

“And by a ‘good time’ you mean get them drunk enough so they’ll sleep with you?” Lute snorted, starting on a fresh rib. She noted that there were only a few remaining on her plate. She couldn’t wait to get home and take her pants off, because she felt like she was going to burst from the sheet volume of food she had consumed that night. She was so uncomfortable.

“Hey,” Adam said, sounding slightly wounded. “I’ll have you know I don’t fuck drunk chicks. I might be an animal, but I’m not a predator.”

“Congratulations, you have one redeeming personality trait.”

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

“Oh that’s right, I forgot. I’m the unfuckable, unfeminine, uptight bitch, right?” Lute gulped down the rest of her wine before reaching for her second-last rib.

Adam cocked his head. “I never said you were unfuckable. I said I’d slept with all the Exorcists that I thought were straight. Which, up until about half an hour ago, I was not aware included you.”

Desperately wanting to end this conversation – and the night, Lute held up her final large, juicy rib. “Last one.”

She was sweating, bloated and her throat felt like it had been ripped apart and set on fire, but she’d done it. She’d kept up. Rib-for-rib, like she’d challenged.

Adam raised his eyebrows and downed the rest of his wine. “Fuck me dead, Lute. I thought you’d struggle to get through six with the way you started out.”

Lute shrugged. “Yeah well, I proved you wrong, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, and you also managed to scare the fuck out of the couple next to us. I’ve seen you slaughter thousands of sinners over the years, but honestly, I think it’s your tongue that’s the most terrifying thing about you.”

Lute smirked. “I guess it is.”

And with that, she took the rib whole in her mouth, closing her eyes as she sucked the meat clean off the bone. Once she’d finished, she opened her eyes and set it down on her plate atop the others. Adam was eyeing her with a pained expression.

“I don’t know if I should be turned on or disgusted by that,” he muttered, avoiding eye contact. “But I was definitely wrong about thinking you weren’t into dick after watching you deep throat that massive piece of meat.”

Lute rolled her eyes. “It’s always one step forward and two steps back with you, isn’t it, Sir?”

“You know it, Dangertits. So what do you say? Can the girls have a night of fun?” He extended his hand over the table.

Lute considered it for a moment before reaching forward and shaking it. His handshake was incredibly firm, and she was surprised to discover that the span of her entire hand was almost the same size as the width of his palm. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed how massive his hands were before now.

“Fine. One night out, and then back to regular training.” She quickly let go and exhaled, wishing the remainder of the meeting would come to an end soon so she could go home and unbutton her pants.

After all, how bad could one night at a bar be?

***

Next time: We find out that a night at a bar can be very, very bad. ...or good.

[dalishious]

The infamous roof scene... My favourite Sera scene in the game.

#LowElfEsteem is a series on Sera’s romance with an elf, discussing both the well and poorly done aspects of her writing, while also examining her character on a deeper level.

Sera invites the Inquisitor up onto the roof to eat cookies together. She then opens up a bit about her backstory, though in a typical Sera fashion, tells a lot by just focusing on one specific thing.

Sera: I got caught stealing when I was little, yeah? You get alienage or worse for that, but the "Lady Emmald" took me in.

Sera: She was sick and couldn't have children. I had no parents. It worked out.

Sera: Anyway, she gets a year sicker, so I ask her about cookies. Because moms make cookies. I can pass that down or something.

Sera: Turns out, she couldn’t cook. She missed that talk with her mom. The ones she "made" she bought, and pretended.

Sera: Aww, right? Well no, she was a bitch.

Sera: She hid buying them by keeping me away from the baker. She did that by lying that he didn’t like me; didn’t like elves.

Sera: She let me hate so she could protect her pride. I hated him so much, and I hated...

Sera: Well, she died. And I hate pride. Pride Cookies.

Sera: But this is great, you’re great, so I thought, maybe me and you could make some.

Sera: I don’t know, "Us Cookies."

Sera: Because then I could like them again. Aww, it’s stupid…

Inquisitor: I don’t understand, this Lady Emmald was just trying to be good to you.

Sera: She hurt people.

Inquisitor: It was just cookies.

Sera: It was not just cookies!

Sera: Lie to herself, fair play, only hurts her. But she made me think there was something wrong with me!

Sera: And the baker? I made his life shit! Why not? It seemed like he deserved it. I mean, if you don’t give a child a cookie because of appearances, you’re a monster. Stupid, pride-whore noble.

Let's get the obvious out of the way, first: When Sera says, "I hated him so much, and I hated..." trailing off, she means she hated herself. That much is obvious by Sera's further explanation, "she made me think there was something wrong with me!"

Why would Sera pick this moment of all things to talk about? Well, remember that Sera would have been less than 10 years old when this happened; the most formative years of growing up, and this incident clearly stuck with her. It taught her she couldn't trust someone she thought was looking out for her, all because Emmald cared more about maintaining appearances than her adopted child's self-esteem. She taught Sera that she would be hated for being an elf, but neglected to teach her that it wasn't Sera's fault.

Was Emmald racist herself? I'm not sure, but she certainly did use racism as a means of control. And maybe that's almost just as bad.

After this talk, the Inquisitor has the opportunity to ask Sera a bit more about herself, this time, Sera being honest. She talks about her history with the Red Jennies a bit, how she got the chance to learn how to use a bow, etc. But I want to highlight this bit of dialogue in particular:

Inquisitor: I think that, after our rooftop chat, I get why you're not like other elves.

Sera: Well, don't. How about we dig into what you are? Or what you're supposed to be?

Sera: Do you know wall about elfiness? What it takes to keep our ears all perky?

Sera: Because you could be more than just that. To me, anyway.

The romance dialogue response is "Whatever I am to you, Sera, that's all I need." And that's cute, but I want to complain about Sera's response if you answer with, "We should all be examples of our peoples, and understand how others will judge us."

Sera: Right, well, good on you. Have fun.

Sera: Don't forget to whine about the past. All elves do that.

Sera: Heard that once. From an "example".

Fucking yet again, Kristjanson can't resist the urge to have Sera denounce systemic racism as something you "whine" about, without any chance at rebuttal. We get it, buddy. You don't know how to write internalized racism in a way that's not just offensive.

If it were up to me, I'd give the Inquisitor the opportunity to challenge Sera with this, to teach her that everything she's regurgitating from what she's heard the humans say is wrong, and that hating her own people accomplishes nothing except doing half the work of her oppressors for them.

[agent-toast]

@dopey-dragon @bewithdagays

ieytd reincarnation au (name under works - do give suggestions) practice fic! not sure if this will be canon or not. also hope it's ok to tag!

my writing is pretty rusty but oh well

link to au context (if it doesn't work please tell me!) but if you want a quick summary, this au is agent phoenix actually reincarnates kind of like doctor who, and each version of agent phoenix is inspired by one of my irl friends and they all have different personalities. but all of them love annoying john juniper

[note: this lil practice fic takes place after ieytd3. zinc, persimmon, mayflower, midnight and crimson phoenix have all returned to their old office after a very eventful evening with the whole Operation: KBOOM thingy. just to be clear, only zinc left for the mission but something something then he came back with the others. fun! additionally, none of the characters are really described because the description is planned to come earlier before the time this fic takes place.]

-

Phoenix's old office used to be littered with dozens of trinkets stolen collected from their missions - champagne taken straight from Doctor Zor's car, small shiny crystals that tinkled when you hit them on Phoenix's desk (they definitely hadn't done that a million times before their handler came specially to their office just to scold them), a few books from Zor's winter cabin (they were unsuccessful in resisting the urge to burn them), and many more things Phoenix would have definitely gotten in trouble for keeping in their office, if their handler hadn't argued their case. 

Now, though, the room was eerily bare, save for their now empty desk and bookshelves.

Support Agent Reginald Crane sat at the desk, one hand rhythmically tapping the wooden surface, and stared round at the room. 

Why had he come here? He wasn't sure.

(Oh yes he was; he was worried for Phoenix. There was no point in denying it.)

The office door opened without warning, interrupting the silence. Startled, Crane rushed towards it.

If Agent Phoenix isn't standing in the doorway, I will actually break something.

Thankfully for all nearby breakable objects, Zinc was standing there, a slightly sheepish, heady grin on his face. He looked tired, but alive. Oh-so-thankfully alive.

"Hi. Uh. I kinda have something to explain-"

"Agent, my god!" Crane exclaimed. "You don't know how much you scared me, when your feed cut out I thought you'd- you know, pulled a stunt like that peace summit incident again, but this time there was no way I could see you surviving at all, and-"

He was cut off by the sight of someone very familiar walking behind Zinc through the doorway.

"Damn, handler, what have you been doing with my office, it's turned into a fucking IKEA showroom-" Persimmon stopped, turned and waved at a slightly singed fake potted plant. "Oh, long time no see, you stupid plastic abomination. Good to see you're still flammable as ever."

Crane blinked. "...Agent? Is that-"

"Yeah, uh-" Zinc piped up, "I was going to explain that but you-"

Three more familiar faces walked into the office, and Crane did a double take. "What- how the hell did this happen-"

"If you would just let me explain, handler-" Zinc was close to throwing something out the open window.

"If you want, Zinc," Mayflower stage-whispered into his ear, "I can take it from here."

Zinc immediately stepped back and gestured for her to take his place. "Please do that. Please. I have had enough of this shit for one week." He sunk gratefully into the desk chair nearby, looking ready to pass out.

Mayflower smiled at Crane. "It's been a wild three hours, handler. Not just because I had to babysit these four kids during the taxi ride here." She side-eyed Midnight, who was trying to balance a stuffed shark on Crimson's head.

"...Mayflower. It's certainly been a while since I last saw your face." Crane, thankfully, seemed to have calmed down.

She cleared her throat. "From what Zinc told me, || ||||| ||| | |||| || ||| || ||||. ||| |||||||| ||| |||||, || ||| |||| ||| || ||||||||| || || ||||| ||| ||| |||||||| ||||||||| ||||..." [nuh uh spoilers >:) you dont get this]

"I myself am starting to question whether that was a good idea or not. But hey, we're here now, aren't we?"

Perched on the windowsill, Persimmon called out, "Hey! Handler! Do you know where a girl can get food in this place? Even that old agency van I was stuck in for a week had food. It had oranges, handler, oranges. Though, now that I think about it, it didn't have cheese sticks. Remind me to fax the heads of EOD and tell them to stock their agency fridges with more cheese sticks. Oh, and get air fryers. Do we have enough money for air fryers?" 

Everyone stared in silence at her. 

"What? I like cheese sticks. And you can't eat cheese sticks cold. Hence the air fryers."

In the corner of the room, Crimson was silently nodding, a serious look on their face. 

"SEE?? SOMEONE agrees with me."

Zinc - very muffled, with his blahaj smooshed over his face - mumbled, "Kinda hungry now that Persimmon's been going on about cheese sticks. Let's go eat something." He lifted the shark just high enough for his voice to sound clearer, and continued, "then I should probably go to the hospital. I'm pretty sure I've broken at least more than two bones. Oh, shit, wait, I'm caring about my physical health. That's a first."

"As you can see, Zinc, it's working out very well. Do that more often." Mayflower replied encouragingly.

--

criticsm highly encouraged as long as it's respectful!

[undead-potatoes]

I've been trying to figure out just who Aurora is, or rather why she is the way she is and why she fights the Urge the way she does.

I think she was always going to be a resist Durge, both bc of the way I make characters, but also bc of my own issues with intrusive thoughts. Like it have gotten so bad at times that it have brought on borderline suicidal thoughts for me, and playing a resist Durge has been strangely cathartic while still having fun with it bc it's taken to such silly extremes (and it's fun to be unhinged about shit sometimes). To fight the demons in your mind with everything you've got, and fucking win? Because at the very core of you there's a good person? That's the real power fantasy right there.

The basic idea is that getting non-consensual brain surgery and tadpoled caused a sort of factory reset in her brain, reverting her back to a version of herself similar to the time before the Urge.

I need to write a post about her background and all, but tl;dr: she grew up in a small, but close knit community in the poorer areas of Baldur's Gate, consisting mostly of other dwarves. So much of her upbringing was about the love and joy forged in human? dwarven? connections, and in looking out for one another. Her adoptive mother was also of the altruistic sort, which might be where some of Aurora's more self sacrificing tendencies stem from.

It's a funny little case of nature vs nurture. On one hand she's a child of Bhaal, his literal flesh and blood, with death and murder at the very core of her being. On the other there's years and years of learned empathy and kindness, genuinely felt and displayed, and it has wrapped itself so tightly around that bloodstained core that it can't simply be cut away.

She've also been fighting the Urge for a long time, I think, since before she was an adult. This has no real base in canon, but I love the idea of it starting small when she's a little kid, and her having to learn to live with it, to suppress it the best she can. That she would work so hard to be so good, in opposition to the depravity boiling hot in the back of her mind, which is partly why she's so good at resisting later on; it's second nature to her, as natural as breathing.

When she wakes up on that beach it's just her again, a ghost of her former self, but it's her nonetheless. The Urge is there too, trapped among the threads of her former life once again, and held in check for just a little bit longer.

This feels like a lot of words saying a whole lot of nothing, like there's about 19 layers of further explanation and nuance that naturally connects to all of this but is hard to explain simply. Reading through all of this feels so fucking cringe, but I'm trying to be sincere here so I'm just pushing through it. It doesn't have to be good, it just have to make me feel good (and a little insane).

Kinda unrelated, but it's also important to me that Aurora just has all the weird little tics, like doing the etch-a-sketch head shake, loudly telling her Urges to shut up, or doing a bunch of weird fidgeting when she's especially stressed out. And then ofc doing her very best to hide or mask that when other people are around and can see/hear her. Baby girl I'm giving you so much of my mental baggage, I'm so sorry and I love you.

[sug4rsweet]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. a thousand miles away …

characters: takahashi kaori, nakamura mamiko

genre: fluff, quite a bit of angst but i swear it’s not that bad BSNDJDN

warnings: none !

summary: following the opening show of her very first tour, an exhausted kaori calls her mother—who’s thousands of miles away in new york city—for much needed comfort.

word count: 1.1k

a/n: aaaahh my first fic for kaori ! i’ve been waiting to write this one so y’all could get to know her mom better, so i hope y’all enjoy !

kaori softly closed the door of her hotel room, and let out a heavy sigh. she ran her hands through her dyed hair and resisted the urge to slide down the door, her legs turning into jelly the second she was allowed to relax. kaori knew that touring would take a lot out of her, but she still wished she was a bit more prepared for it.

the girl was hungry and beyond sleepy, and all she wanted was room service and a warm bed. however, as she placed her bag down and haphazardly tied her hair up, kaori remembered what she’d been aching to do since the day began.

“hey, siri.” kaori said, her voice low and heavy with exhaustion. “call mom.”

as her cellphone rang, kaori allowed herself to just think, taking much needed time to clear her mind. right now, her mother was off in new york, all alone in what used to be their apartment, working twelve hours, five days out of the week. of course, mamiko was a grown woman who could handle being alone, and she was definitely proud to see her daughter becoming so independent. but kaori was merely seventeen. she wasn’t an adult in japan or in the states. she wasn’t supposed to be independent right now. she missed her house, she missed her mother, and she didn’t want her to be alone. no matter how much she loved what she did.

kaori’s phone rang for a while longer, which caused her to look over at it in mild confusion. however, the moment she did, she heard a soft click.

it was her mom.

“hi, baby!” mamiko exclaimed. kaori relaxed the second she heard her mother’s voice. “how are you, sweetie?”

kaori smiled. “good.” she answered. “tired, but good.”

mamiko hummed. kaori heard shuffling in the background, as if her mother was trying to get comfortable. “so, how was your first concert? did you have fun?”

“i definitely did.” kaori answered with a sudden excitement in her voice, finally allowing herself to get comfortable on her end. “and you know what, mom? i can’t believe i sold out an arena made for ten thousand people. like, me. i did that.”

mamiko’s amused chuckle stopped kaori from rambling. “that you did, baby.” she said. “anything else?”

kaori hummed, trying to wrack her brain for something exciting other than ‘i started my tour.’ “well,” she began. “everything went well for the most part. nothing really happens on the first day, but i’m glad i got to… do that, at least. it’s not every day that you get to parapara with ten thousand of your fans.”

mamiko laughed, always endeared at her daughter’s sense of humor. “that sounds amazing, princess.” the woman said, the softest of smiles gracing her face. “i wish i could’ve been there to see it.”

kaori’s shoulders dropped. she took a breath, trying to push away the overwhelming feeling of sadness that had suddenly overtook her.

“i…” she started. her throat was tight. “i wish you were there, too, mom.”

the girl paused, attempting to swallow the lump in her throat. she was too late, however, as tears already started to sting at her hazel eyes. fuck. kaori didn’t want to cry. she was already so exhausted as it was.

but how could she not? her mother couldn’t even be there to see her first concert because she was in a completely different country. and what made it so much worse is that even though her father was in the same city as she was, he couldn’t see her, either. they weren’t even allowed in the same room. the thought alone made the tears fall from kaori’s eyes anyways. a sob escaped her lips, and even though she tried her best to muffle it, her mother still picked it up.

“i just…” kaori choked out, switching to english. a habit of hers whenever she got particularly emotional. “i just miss you so much, mom.”

mamiko’s face dropped at the sound of her daughter’s choked voice. “oh, baby…” she said, her voice falling to a soft whisper. “i know. i miss you, too, princess. with me in new york and you in tokyo, we’re both working so hard, right?”

kaori hummed, letting out a sound that was a cross between a sob and a choked laugh. “i want to go home.” she said, continuously wiping tears from her eyes. “i knew it would be hard, but i didn’t think it would be this hard.”

mamiko frowned. she knew how much kaori needed a hug, and her heart ached knowing that she couldn’t give one to her.

“listen, baby.” the older woman started. “you’re such a strong girl, okay? and this is only your first show. i know you’re not used to this yet, but you’ll get through it, alright princess? you have so many people around you that believe in you.”

kaori’s tears began to subside as she nodded in understanding. she must’ve forgotten the independent, hard working woman who raised her.

“and kaori-chan?” mamiko continued, switching back to japanese. “we both know how much you wanted this. don’t give up a day in.”

the girl in question began laughing. she was still a bit choked up, but leagues better than before. “you’re right.” kaori said, finally drying her eyes. “thank you, mom.”

mamiko smiled hearing the sadness subside from kaori’s voice. “you’re welcome, sweet pea.”

silence fell over mother and daughter for a while, minus kaori’s gradually decreasing sniffles. once again, the 17-year-old ran a hand through her hair, trying to smooth out her dyed locks in an effort to feel less disheveled.

“mom,” kaori suddenly said, breaking the momentary silence. her mother hummed. “you promise you’ll come to one of my concerts, right?”

mamiko nodded, although kaori couldn’t see it. “i promise, baby.” she responded. “i love you.”

it took everything in kaori to not burst into tears all over again. but she knew that if she couldn’t see her mother in person, then this phone call was the next best thing. “i love you too, mom.”

mamiko let out a breathy chuckle. “now, i have to go, sweetie. looks like my lunch break is over. unfortunately.”

kaori laughed. the first genuine laugh she let out since she called. “okay.” she said. “bye mom.”

“bye, princess.” mamiko replied. “don’t forget to call your dad, alright? tell him all about what happened today.”

kaori hummed, the smallest of smiles gracing her face. she held onto that promise like her life depended on it, already counting down the days until she could see her mother again. and, maybe—just maybe—her father, as well.

“i will.”

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough - Gortash

Mega spoilers below the cut

Finally, finally, I got to the audience with Gortash. I’m happy for the girlies that are in love, I love Jason Isaacs and I’m glad they’ve hired top knotch voice actors for the baddies in this game, but damn my friends, he does nothing for me. He looks like a moldy potato. As I said before, he looks like he smells like a hangover covered up with Axe spray. Sorry!

Despite that, he’s a very interesting character. I really liked the little group of NPCs outside fanboying about him inventing the Steel Watch - someone points out it was the Gondians who actually invented the Steel Watch, and Gortash just financed it, and someone else argues, no, it was Gortash who invented it - which he absolutely didn’t. Reminded me of Elon Musk and how everyone thought he was such a fucking genius, when all he did was purchase companies and pay other researchers. I loved that parallel.

So DAMN. This scene is very different for a dark urge. Man I felt so sorry for Karlach - she thinks she’s going to walk up and have this big face to face with her ex friend, and Gortash doesn’t even have words for her - instead he welcomes back his favourite assassin, and that’s me. I loved Karlach’s WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?? reaction, because same girl, same. Absolutely fucking WILD for a resisting durge to learn, you know, not only do they have these horrible murderous urges, not only do we have this nasty little butler man trying to force us to gruesomely kill people, not only did something horrible happen to us that wiped clean all our memories, NOT ONLY ARE WE A GODDAMNED BHAALSPAWN and leader of the goddamned bhaal cult, NOT ONLY ALL OF THIS, no, that wasn’t enough, oh no: now we learn we were also one of the original architects of the Absolute plot, removed only when Orin saw an opportunity to displace us. Damn, damn, damn. What a wild fucking ride. My poor tav.

The writing here and dialogue choices I found were a bit funky, rather like a bad DM that is trying too hard to nudge the player into the result they want, without really understanding what the player naturally wants to do. It was very odd how the dialogue kept offering me options to see if Gortash was telling the truth. Reassurances and reassurances. But you know what? My durge doesn’t CARE if Gortash is telling the truth. Lies, truth, it doesn’t matter, I am disgusted by what I just learned. I might agree not to pound Gortash into paste right this particular second, because Wyll’s dad as well as an entire audience and compliments of guards are right there, but I am NOT, NOT saying that I agree to any fucking alliance??? Well the Emperor says he’s telling the truth. Well I can read his body language to see if he’s telling the truth. Well I can use detect thoughts to see if he’s telling the truth. I DO NOT CARE IF HE IS TELLING THE TRUTH. In fact if he’s being sincere that almost makes the situation worse. It was so bizarre. I feel like maybe this dialogue was designed mostly with a non-durge in mind, who probably hates Gortash a lot less at this point? Maybe?

Anyways whatever, we got to a point where I agreed not to go straight to combat, but I still feel like I expressed my disgust in a mostly satisfactory way, so whatever. Whatever.

What happens AFTER that is also pretty fun. The three companions you just brought along to the coronation have now all just seen you are not only a Bhaalspawn, but you were one of the three who started all of this horrible shit in the first place!!! They all have very very interesting reactions (and as far as I am able to tell - the reaction is the same whether or not you chose to tell them you are a bhaalspawn ahead of time. My particular tav told no one but Astarion).

Karlach’s reaction hurt the most. She was furious, absolutely furious to find out I used to work with Gortash and that I used to lead the Bhaal cult. She says she isn’t sure she trusts I’m not still a bad guy, and she needs time - a lot of time - to think about it. Her reaction is TOTALLY VALID, it absolutely is, but it still stings, holy shit. I actually reloaded to see if there was anything I could do to make her less mad - but nothing helps. Augh. Karlach I am so sorry, I’m so sorry….

Gale was similarly angry. The reaction is valid but it hurts, it hurts…

Shadowheart’s reaction was bugged, at least for me. After the ceremony she had no reaction at all, just her regular conversation dialogue. That’s too bad, I was curious to see what she said.

Lae’zel has no additional dialogue, she will only say what she says if you tell her yourself that you’re a bhaalspawn: that it makes sense, because you are murderous and also annoying, lol.

Halsin is surprised, but not in a… “I had no idea you were actually a piece of shit this whole time” way, and more of a “shit I guess this just shows that we need to be careful and not take anything for granted” way.

Jaheria (who has no dialogue to tell her you’re a bhaalspawn) is concerned, but tells herself that doubting each other only benefits Gortash. She also asks for some time to think, but it’s less of a rude “I need time to think about how I’m ever going to look at your disgusting face again” and more of a “I need time to decide what is the best strategy to take now” way.

Wyll as always is a rock-solid friend. He’s mostly thinking about his father, understandable, and tells me again the story of the bhaalspawn who went on to become a hero.

And as before, as always, Astarion has the very best reaction, really shocked me actually, because I never thought about it like that. He starts off quite accusatory and I was prepared to have my heart broken - “You! You’re the one behind all this!” Ugh. It was hurting my heart. What will I do if Astarion is angry? Then he flips it into a joke as always, laughs and says he admits he’s impressed. But THEN… he THANKS me, he thanks me for being that evil bastard, because if it wasn’t for the Absolute plot and the nautiloid snatching people, he’d still be locked away in Cazador’s kennel. He THANKS me. I was so… surprised. I never really thought of it like that. Bhaal-cult-leader-tav frees Astarion. Extremely indirectly, but still. Man. My heart was hurting from Karlach’s reaction, everyone is freshly suspicious of me at worst and pitying at best, and why wouldn’t they be, I deserve every bit of it, and here’s Astarion, fucking THANKING me. Just. Wow. His support is so amazing, has been for this whole arc. I know people were grumpy that the dark urge writer wrote (honestly only a small amount of) extra content for Astarion interactions but didn’t have time to give the same attention for the other companions, but it’s not even the extra content that makes Astarion so amazing in a dark urge run. It’s his unique perspective and the place that he’s coming from and his surprising and unwavering support. It’s kind of like how Gale is uniquely supportive of a tav that becomes a mindflayer, it’s a sweet little special character piece. As things just keep get worse and worse for my resisting durge, I’m appreciating Astarion’s support more and more.

Back at camp, there’s the Orin kidnapping blah blah blah. The companion taken can be Lae;zel, Gale, or Halsin, but Lae’zel’s scenario is the only one that really makes any kind of sense at all…. What does Halsin losing control in the city or Gale wanting to blow up his orb have to do with anything? Lae’zel trying to convince you someone else in camp is the imposter and murder them makes much more sense. Afterwards, Gale says we should carefully consider Orin’s terms, no matter how distasteful it may be. Distasteful?..? What an odd comment. I’m 100% going to obliterate Gortash, was already making plans for that, nothing at all to do with Orin. “Distasteful” nothing, killing Gortash and confronting Orin was the plan all along. How odd.

Now I’m in the lower city, and it’s fucking shredding my poor shitty computer. We’ll see how this goes. Astarion went a bit nuts shopping for clothes at Carm’s Garms, and my tav is now wearing a ridiculous embroidered thing in black and blue and silver and looks like a mariachi. NPCs everywhere, as far as the eye can see, and even on the lowest graphics settings my poor mac is chugging along.

[murder-incarnate]

thinking about abaddon as i usually am

abaddon is a naturally creative person. pre-urge, she loved to create things, primarily through drawing and painting but really she'd throw herself at anything she could do with her hands. cooking, building, sculpting, anything! this was partly because, even before the urge awoke in her, she had violent impulses and inclinations, and her foster parents were diligent in helping redirect her. they taught her to think instead of just acting on impulse, and to choose to be gentle, and to find different ways of keeping her hands and mind occupied. so there was that on top of abaddon just! liking to make things! express herself! she was a little girl with big feelings and creating made her feel good!

once the urge woke up and her support system that encouraged nonviolence was gone to be replaced by a support system that exclusively encouraged violence, this was another thing that was taken from her. for starters, the way i picture the urge working, the way that abaddon experienced emotions and reacted to external stimuli was dulled. feels cold and empty when she’s not killing. can get SOME enjoyment from other things, but her brain doesn't respond the way it used to. and especially not the way it responds to murder. murder lights up all the pleasure centers in her brain like fucking fireworks, nothing else comes close. not to mention that the urge wants her to kill maim tear and nothing else, and sneers at just about everything else if it doesn't actively push back. abaddon tries to draw and she starts thinking about murder harder as the urge starts kicking and screaming. how dare she try to create when she could be destroying instead. AND not to mention that she's got the butler guiding her: he said that she was obedient but needed a lot of his guidance, and i imagine he was talking about stuff like this. stop wasting time trying to do silly normie hobbies and do some murder instead.

the game comments on abaddon’s brilliance and creative genius, so i think she got SOME creative outlet as long as it was murdery and not excessive. as long as she could justify it. she writes about how bhaal doesn't want his children to think, doesn't care about the details, he just wants death. he's not gonna put your art on the fridge. that's a lesson she learned quickly, i think, so she prioritizes efficiency over artistry, but like. as much as bhaal wants her to be a weapon/vessel and nothing more, she's still a person, and she has a will and desires of her own. she wants to have fun, she wants to express herself, she's passionate and she's so fucking repressed and she has nothing for herself, and her brainwashing and the claws in her brain won't allow her to stray much, but. she flexes as much as she can within her confines. bhaal doesn't care about art but as long as she's not wasting his time she can put her own little flourish on her kills, right? as long as the kills still happen, as long as she's quick, as long as she remembers her purpose.

post-amnesia, abaddon has... a lot working against her still, but! eventually, she tries drawing again. she's looking for distraction, for expression, and frankly she doesn't know much about herself or what she can do and she's grasping at straws trying to get a sense of self. she tries drawing because she wants a healthy outlet for the thoughts in her head and a peaceful thing to occupy her shaking hands. discovers immediately that drawing is fucking HARD, but this time she fights, just like she fights her urge on every other front. drawing becomes another method of resisting. her art is messy and it's visibly obvious that she is actively fighting herself the whole time. her lines are shaky, she pierces the paper, she breaks her tools, she can't piece concepts together. but she tries, and she tries, because she wants to be more than the boiling in her blood. she wants to prove to herself that she can create, not just destroy.

abaddon fighting tooth and nail to claw back bits of her personhood she doesn’t even know were taken from her is SO important to me. getting to be so much more Herself even with the urge still digging its claws into her.

and god, the first time she goes to draw once she's free of the urge entirely!! abaddon fucking cries about it. it's so much easier!! she can move freely, think freely! was it always supposed to be this easy!!

[iwanttogivebirth]

It was during the pandemic, and the mother are heavily overdue, with her children all having online classes at home.

Can she handle herself, doing the house chores alone and try to not make a sound while going into labour and give birth, not disturbing her children.

Oooh I absolutely love this

Mary was doing laundry as a sharp pain in her belly caused her to clutch it, while fluids gushed out of her pussy soaking her leggings "hmmm fuck you really can't wait to come out can't you?" She whispered to the baby in her belly.

Mary didn't want to make any noise as her daughter was in the middle of a test, with everything being long distance because of the pandemic she was in her room with the camera and microphone turned on, and every little noise could be heard.

Mary waddled into her daughter's room to pick up some books left on floor when she was hit by a powerful contraction that caused her to push involuntarily bringing the baby right behind her lips, she muffled her grunts to not disturb her daughter.

She decided to get out of her daughter's room as quickly as possible, but with every step she could feel the baby's head making her pussy bulge more and more as Mary tried her best not to whimper from the pain.

As she reached the door another contraction hit forcing her to squat as she pushed, her face turning red as she tried her best not to scream as her lips opened up around her baby's head.

Mary looked behind her to see that thankfully her daughter didn't notice anything, but unfortunate she was well within the camera's radius and everyone in the video call could see her squatting as a bulge formed in her leggins.

She got up as quickly as she could as with a wide stance she walked out of her daughter's room and into the living room where she quickly took off her leggings and panties and gave her biggest push yet "mmmmhhhh" a small grunt escaped her lips as the baby's head crowned painfully.

Mary's hands went to her stretched labia as she tried to help it stretch around the head, as she tried her best not to make a sound as her lips felt like they were on fire.

As she felt the urge to push again she heard her daughter in her room "professor I'm ready to turn in my assignment", hearing these words she quickly put her leggings back on and resisted the urge to push, she waddled as quickly as she could to the sink to do the dishes.

Mary grit her teeth as her daughter came out of her room "whew glad that's done with, why did you run out of the room so quickly before mom?" Her daughter asked as she thought of a lie to not have her worry.

"I just hnnng didn't want to huuu bother you sweetie" Mary stuttered out as the urge to push came back "mom you alright?" Her daughter asked "yeah yeah I'm hnng fine, now huuu go back to your room hufff doesn't your next lesson start in 5 minutes?"

"yeah but are you sure you're alright? You seem like you're in labour" "don't worry hnnng about it, you just go and focus on the lesson huuu" Mary answered her "ok then if you're sure", as soon as her daughter went back to her room she lowered her pants, squatted and pushed.

"huuuuuuu hnnnnnnnngaaaaaaah haaa" she groaned and panted as quietly as she could as the head popped out with a spray of fluids. Her hands went to caress her baby's head as it dangled in between her legs "haaa haaa"

Mary suddenly heard steps coming her way "hey mom do you know where my book on-FUCK oh my god are you okay?" Her daughter yelled as she saw her baby sibling's head dangling in-between her mom's legs.

"don't worry honey hoooo I'm alright, just one more push and it'll come out Hmmmmmmngaaaah" she moaned out as her face turned red with effort, her baby sliding out of her battered pussy as she caught it.

Mary's daughter looked at her dumbfounded "w-why didn't you say anything?" Her mother answered as she nursed her baby while fluids kept leaking out of her "I just didn't want to bother you".

This was really fun to write, sorry if it's not great I haven't written in a while and I didn't have time to proofread it as I'm busy with uni, bit thanks for the wonderful ask, it was really hot hope you like it

[wornoutmouse]

Bakugou Birthday Bash

Yall already know, we gon act like i aint disapear

I got 40 different things that I’m writing about right now but I got to get something out for fireball here. I KNOW I’M LATE ASSHATS CALM DOWN!

Fun Fact: Guys play with our nipples cause they think they feel the same as theirs. This isn’t true because a guy’s nipples are 3 times more sensitive than a female’s. 

Fun Fact 2: Getting your cervix hit during intercourse is only pleasurable to VERY few individuals and overall causes pain or discomfort to the majority.

Exhibitionist, 3-some, rough sex, train, consent is sexy, slight dacryphillia

You could feel your heart beating with anticipation, in your mind, you repeat the same mantra over and over again. “This is for Katsuki.” Currently, Bakugou, Kirishima, and yourself were having a movie night. You had spent the day with Katsuki dragging him throughout the city taking him to various places for his 25th birthday.

In the morning, you made him breakfast in bed consisting of smiley face porridge with the eyes being eggs, smile being bacon, with sausage eyebrows. Bakugou was not amused, to say the least. Afterwords you did his hair separating the blond hair into two braids marveling at the black streaks intertwining themselves. “Do you like it?” Bakugou sleepily grunts, burying his face into your cleavage when you finished. “I just want to go back to bed.”Shaking your head you grab your outfit and walk towards the bathroom. “No can do Kats, I go the whole day planned for you, this isn’t going to be like your last birthday.” 

After going out to the shooting range, a nearby spa, and having brunch at his parent’s place much to his distress. “Katsuki put a smile on your face for once, you know you love my Unagi!” You laugh as you watch Bakugou pout at the feeling of his mother ruffling his hair. “Shut it old hag..” His father only chuckles before resuming his conversation with you.

When you finished the reunion, you drop Bakugou off at home before going to pick up Kirishima. As you drove back, you could tell Kirishima could sense your nervousness. He placed a hand on your thigh to get your attention, “You know that you can always opt-out of this, I don’t mind we can just have a normal movie night. “This” was a plan that you had both been creating together. 

Ever since high school, you knew Bakugou had a soft spot for the redhead going far past causal friendship. And it wasn’t until last year that you accidentallt heard Bakugou mumbling his name in his sleep accompanied by soft moans. At first, you understandably felt a bit jealous despite being in a relationship with Bakugou for the last 6 years but as you thought about things more and more, a mischievous thought came to you, now leading up to the current moment.

“I’m fine Ejirou, this is just something I’m not used to.” you exhale and smile a bit more determined after saying your doubts out loud. “But I can’t back out on my own plan.” Kirishima flashes his signature shark tooth smile before facing forwards again. Now, with both of you sitting with Bakugou in between, the tension was high in the air and it was up to you to make the first move. 

“This movie is stupid, why would she even run after him after he called her stupid!” “Uh, Bakugou, you call me and Y/n stupid all the time?” Bakugou huffs leaning back on the couch. “Yeah but that’s different...you are.” You would have laughed if you hadn’t decided to make your move. You rest your arm on Bakugou’s shoulder playing with his braid that had long since frayed from your day’s activities.

He pays no mind, eyes focused on the corny romance movie he rented from Redbox. The movement of bright yellow catches Kirishima’s eyes as the TV screen flashes white from a scene change. He decided to take the more direct approach by putting his hand on Bakugou’s thighs and squeezing the skin there. Katsuki’s hair skips from your grasp as he twitches from the contact. “Hey watch your hands shity hair.”

Kirishima hums but doesn’t move his hand. You allow silence to go on for a moment as Bakugou gets back into his movie. When Bakugou relaxes enough, you snake your hand to his crotch and squeeze his dick through the pants. Bakugou’s attention lands on you almost immediately as his hand clamps down on your wrist. You ignore the tight grasp and rub your thumb over his dick, feeling it twitch with nervous interest. 

Bakugou leans towards you harshly whispering, “What are you doing idiot, Ejirou is right here.” You bite your bottom lip before whispering back your reply, “Well you better be quiet then don’t you think Katsuki?” Ruby eyes glared at you but the blond remained silent before gripping his braid nervously. He bounces his left leg as you resume your light teasing and does his best to focus again. 

You notice Kirishima’s movements and feel adrenaline run throughout your body. Kirishima does the same as you, whispering in Katsuki’s ear, lips only a breath away from touching skin. “Hey Bakugou, we should have brought some snacks don’t you think? I’m kinda hungry.” Underneath your hand, Bakugou’s breathing falters, “Ah, yeah well you should have brought your own snacks I’m not getting up from here.” Kirishima peeks at you from behind Bakugou’s head sending you a wink. 

Rubbing his wrist Kirishima pulls a hair tie from his arm and puts it between his teeth. At the same time, you unzip Bakugou’s pants and make direct contact with his cock. Kirishima focuses on how Bakugou’s adam’s apple bobs when he makes eye contact with him. Bakugou’s eyes watch as Kirishima’s muscles ripple as he ties his hair up into a bun and you resist the urge to laugh as Bakugou’s dick goes full mast making a smacking sound as it hits his stomach. 

That seems to bring him back to reality and he quickly covers himself when he catches Eijirou staring at his exposed groin. “Ah shit, what the hell Y/N!?” Bakugou jerks his head towards you accusingly, cheeks red with embarrassment and teeth bared in anger as he prepares to chew you out. Your hand, now resting behind Katsuki, motions Kirishima to Bakugou’s dick as the blond chews you out. “Are you trying to make me fucking upset-ah fuck!” 

With one hand by his face to tuck stray hair behind his ear, Kirishima uses his other hand to hold Katsuki’s shaft, hollowing his cheeks around the rest of his dick. The look of confusion was forever present as Katsuki tosses an apologetic look at you willing his eyes to focus despite the sudden onslaught of pleasure. “Sh..Shitty hair what the hell do you think you’re fucking d-doin?!” Bakugou’s hips jerk up as he rises to the top of his toes. He places his hand on top of Kirishima’s head but not to pull him away as he tried to make it seem.

Eijirou jerked his cock delicately before mouthing at Bakugou’s balls that tightened underneath his lips. “I don’t...Y-Y/n fuck, I’m sorry...ah..its....I...feels so damn good1” Remorseful moans leave Katsuki’s mouth as his eyes screw shut. You push his hair away from his face in order to see him better. The hand you had laying in his lap is grabbed and gripped tightly almost as if he was afraid to let go of you. 

With his head tossed back, you take the initiative to bite his neck softly, drinking in the whimpers that exit his mouth. “Relax and enjoy your birthday present Katsuki.” You turn on a table lamp and slide to the floor, pulling Kirishima down with you. With the lights now blazing, Bakugou could no longer chalk up the current situation as a really bizarre dream as took in the view of both of you occupying his lap. Kirishima abandons his cock for you to take care of as he slides his tongue up Bakugou’s toned stomach.

“Relax Bakugou and let us take care of you.” Katsuki helplessly grips Kirishima’s shoulder with gritted teeth. “Get your fucking mouth off my nipple asshat...it feels fucking weird.” Both you and Kirishima chuckled at the insults Bakugou attempted to use to hide his embarrassment. Kirishima moans obnoxiously as he rolls Bakugou’s nipple with his tongue before biting down. “You two planned this didn’t you?” 

Bakugou’s usual attitude came back before you could even notice and by the time you did, it was too late. The hand that was previously caressing your head tightened against your scalp and you were soon being pushed down Bakugou’s cock. Kirishima looked down at the sound of you choking, eyes going wide at your puffed cheeks and teary eyes, but it was too late for him as well. Kirishima’s man-bun was grabbed and yanked giving Katsuki access to his neck that he abused with bites. “Fucking assholes had me over here confused and shit all for your little birthday present.”

His strokes were slow and torturous to your throat, grinding slowly inside before stopping and holding your face there just to feel your mouth constrict due to limited oxygen. “And how long have you known shitty hair? Tell me the truth and I’ll give you a reward” Kirishima (the snitch) winces as his hair is pulled again. “About half a year.” Bakugou hums and kisses Kirishima. Through watering eyes, you watch as Bakugou forced his tongue inside his best friend’s mouth. “Good boy.” Looking down at you, you feel a shiver go throughout your body and you could tell you were in for a rude awakening.

“Is it safe to assume that you were the source Y/n?” Your forearm is grabbed and you are out on top of Bakugou’s lap. “Yes.” Your answer is rewarded with a slap on your covered ass. “I’m gonna make sure you regret that. Both of you, take off your clothes.” Pouting you poke Bakugou’s chest, “No, that’s not how this is going to work, we both wanted to make you feel good.” Bakugou raised an eyebrow before looking at Kiri who shakes his head innocently disagreeing in order to save his own skin.

“You are gonna make me feel good.” Bakugou slides his hands under your shirt pulling it off. “I’m going to feel so good watching you two break.” Bakugou caresses your chin placing a ginger kiss on your chin before pushing you off. “Now take these damn clothes off.” 

You and Eijirou watch him leave the living room and go elsewhere, “We really are in for it aren’t we?” You nod solemnly, “There is nothing good coming out of our bedroom. I'll tell you that Kiri.” Kirishima sat steadily, face and shoulders painted red with a warm blush, “Well at least he took it well.” you jokingly slap Kirishima’s shoulder to ease the throbbing feeling in the pit of your stomach. The male’s eyes look at the hand on his shoulder for a moment, contemplating his next move. You watch, heart rate increasing at the serious look  the normally smiling man held. Kirishima grabs your hand and places it over his chest, sliding it down his abdomen effectively bringing you closer to him.

When you were close enough, you and Eijirou lock lips passionately. His right hand held your face gently as his left pulled your lower body towards him. Your mouth consumed the moans Kirishima let out as the tip of his cock caught the rim of your belly button. When you pull away, one of Kirishima’s shark-like teeth nips into your lower lip, drawing blood. The look of you out of breath, chest swelling, and plump kiss-bitten lips turned Kirishima on more than he thought he could be. “She’s sexy without even trying huh?”

Bakugou’s gravel-like voice startles you both, Katsuki walked closer before squatting behind you. Your afro is drawn back by Bakugou and he forcefully kisses you, exploring your mouth feverishly leaving you unable to keep up. You are the one to pull away when you become out of breath and allow yourself to be manhandled against Katsuki’s chest while he leans against the couch. Scarred hands spread your legs exposing you to Kirishima who had no problem ogling you. “You see how wet she is for you shitty hair, don’t let my presence stop you.”

Eijirou scoots closer on his knees, grabbing your legs. When he brings his face closer, Katsuki spreads your pussy lips apart with his index and ring finger, stroking your clit with his middle finger. You sigh into the feeling before jumping when Kirishima slaps your cunt, “Look at that she’s quivering.” Eijirou hikes your legs over his shoulders,  burying his face in your warm cunt without a care about your juices covering his face. His lips wrap around your clit, sucking incessantly at the small nub, heightening your pleasure. 

Reaching past you, Bakugou holds Kiri’s head and presses his face down into you, “Get in there Eijirou and quit playing before I kick your ass out.” You squeeze your eyes shut as a warm muscle pushes its way inside your needy hole. Your back arches and Bakugou is forced to hold your legs open lest you close them shut on Kirishima’s head. Bakugou leaves tender kisses behind your ear, rubbing your legs tenderly. The touches sent feelings like electricity through your core and you felt your blood race as you came closer to orgasm.

Kirishima laps at your pussy once more before pulling away, leaving you on the very edge of your release making you whine. “She’s so sweet Katsuki.” Kirishima whimpers softly, before messily kissing Bakugou. Their tongues wrapped against each other as they share your taste. From the small of your back, you could feel Bakugou grind his hips against you. You reach your hand down to finish yourself off but without even looking your hand is grabbed by Kirishima who instead guides you to his throbbing cock.

 It was red, most likely from the light teased your living room carpet caused while he was eating you out.The groan that you rip from Kirishima as you stroked him, shocked both you and Katsuki. 

Kirishima stops the kiss, leaving a strand of saliva connecting the two. Kirishima’s red eyes narrowed at you as he spoke to Bakugou, “F...Forgive me Bakugou, but I need to be inside someone or someone inside me before I burst.” Bakugou smirks holding your chin so you can look at him, “What do you think princess?” You look at Kirishima who indeed looked to be on his last straw with a smirk. “It’s your birthday Katsuki, you should get first pick.”

Bakugou furrowed his brow more than your thought possible, “You sure you don’t mind?” Playfully biting his cheek you give a reassuring smile, “I planned this baby, if I mined, we wouldn’t be here.” Bakugou grunts in response, giving you time to get off of his lap before pushing Kirishima onto his knees, “Hey asshole, remember that time you painted my gauntlets purple?” Kirishima smirked, “You still mad about that? Lavender is your color Bakubro.” Katsuki glared at the redhead, slapping his ass, “Don’t call me that when I’m going to be balls deep inside you.” Looking back over at you, Bakugou gets an idea, “Stop twiddling your fingers and making me feel bad and get over here.”

You did a shit job at hiding your happiness as you cutely scooted towards the two males. “Shitty hair, you’re going to fuck her while I fuck you, and if you cum inside I’m going to blow your ass off the face of the earth.” It took until Kirishima was positioned over you and Bakugou had taken place behind him that Kirishima finally realized the reality of Bakugou’s threat. “Wait a second, how do you expect me not to cum from all the stimulation?!” You watched Bakugou shrug over Kirishima’s shoulder, “Not my problem.” A disgusting squelching sound is heard and you feel Kirishima shiver as he laid over you. “Have you done this before Katsuki?” 

Bakugou was silent and Kirishima’s eyes widened and you quickly grab his face to avoid his fear-stricken expression reaching the excited blond. “He’s got this Kiri, trust me, can’t be any different than normal anal right?!” Kirishima rested his head on your shoulder, kissing the skin there, “Is this you telling me you’ve done anal before?” You both laugh, having a moment of comfort despite the strange situation. “Mmmm.” Kirishima hums quietly, vibrating against your skin, you could feel him rocking against you and most likely against Bakugou’s fingers. “Ahh, fuck~” 

“You good Eijirou?” Bakugou rests against Kirishima’s body, biting his shoulder blade. “Y-yeah, I’m good.” Reaching in between the two of you, and you felt him lining himself against your opening. “Ah, you’re...you’re not wet anymore. I’m sorry.” Kirishima puts his fingers in his mouth, briefly stopping to whimper loudly around them, “Ah there it is.” Bakugou smirks from behind Kirishima, and judging on how much Kirishima starts to shake, he repeatedly abuses said spot. It is then your turn to feel pleasure as Kirishima takes the task to finger you open.

You raise your legs and wrap them around Kirishima’s back to get a better angle and the room is mostly silent besides the obvious noises of prep. Something that made both you and Bakugou dawn a notable smirk was how loud Kirishima was being compared to the rest of you. From Bakugou’s end, Kirishima was fucking himself back on his fingers sucking them in greedily, hips rotating just to be able to feel his prostate being stimulated again. From your end, Kirishima’s hands shook as he tried to angle himself inside of you so much so you had to help him. “I’m so damn close, fuck. Bakugou you gotta give me a moment man!” 

Both you and Kirishima moaned when Bakugou smacked the red head’s ass causing his hips to jerk forward. “You better hold it in, I haven’t even started yet dumbass.” Kirishima grunted as Bakugou penetrated him. “Y/n, I can’t, fuck I can’t!” Eijirou had his eyes clenched shut. Bakugou snapped his hips against him, making Kirishima fuck you as well, “Come on Eijirou, you can do it, you feel so good.” 

Kirishima’s cock curved right, making your toes curl from the stimulation. Bakugou held onto Kirishima’s hips hard, most likely to leave indents later on. Kirishima propped himself up on his elbows and thrust into you, simultaneously meeting Bakugou’s thrusts. “Y/n, you feel so damn good. So fucking w-warm!” You bear down on Kirishima’s cock, squeezing around him. “Why are you talking so much Eijirou, you close to cumming?” Kirishima narrowed his eyes at Bakugou’s taunt, “Fuuck, Y/n why does it feel like he’s getting harder, eveRy time.” The sound of Kirishima’s voice cracking was comical yet arousing. 

Your fingers curl on Kirishima’s back as his thrusts got sporadic occasionally thrusting so hard he grazed your cervix, causing brief discomfort. “Your so damn tight, Eijirou, damn!” Bakugou’s stomach contorted with each thrust, feeling Kirishima’s hole constrict around his cock at every drag. It was as if Kirishima was simply a doll between the two of you, that you used as a stress ball. Kirishima was loud at this point, gripping the sheet around your head hard enough for him to rip even without activating his quirk. 

Wordless babbles, left his mouths, his eyes rolled behind his head, as Bakugou speeds up. “You should see the look on his face Katsuki!” Kirishima kisses you roughly as a way to combat your teasing. His tongue lazily roams your mouth, lips vibrating at the broken moans you both let out from Bakugou’s brutal onslaught.

Kirishima quieted, your ears barely picking up on him muttering ‘fuck’ repeatedly. “B-Bakugou, stop, I’m gonna cum, let me pull out.” Kirishima tosses his hand back, brushing it against Bakugou’s abdomen in an effort to slow him down. “What nonsense are you speaking Eijirou? We aren’t stopping till I cum” Bakugou grabs Kirishima’s struggling arm, and holds it behind his back. The rest of Kirishima’s weight flops down on you creating sweet friction against your clit, and Kirishima’s modestly trimmed bush of hair. You hold Kiri closer with your legs as your orgasm builds to greater heights. “But you said-” “I know what I said dumbass, and it still stands. Now shut up and take it.”

Eijirou moans as Bakugou speeds up his thrusts. Bakugou holds him down by his shoulder no longer giving Kirishima space to even thrust into you. Bakugou relents on thrusting and instead relies on the sheer force his weight caused every time he slammed down on Kirishima’s hips. “Bakugou-” “Shut up for fuck sakes!” Bakugou clamps his hands on Kirihsima’s mouth and nose, cutting off his hair flow. You grab “Katuski’s hair and pull him towards you in a violent kiss. 

You make a sound of alarm at the feeling of warmth feeling your body. Bakugou uncovers Kirishima’s mouth feeling him tighten so hard around his dick and Bakugou cums as well after a few weak thrusts. Kirishima had tears of overstimulation flowing down his face, mouth open as he continued to pump hot cum into your hole. “Damn you really couldn’t hold on huh?” Kirishima shook his head, clearly on cloud nine, still filling you with so much cum, you contemplated on taking to brands of birth control. Bakugou looked down at you, watching as you pet Eijirou’s head reassuringly. “Did you cum?” You shook your head, kissing Eijirou’s temple. 

Bakugou nodded before jerking Kirishima’s legs pulling him out of you at the same time making you both hiss from the pinch-like pain. Bakugou turns Kirishima on his back and helps your straddle him. Staring up at you with wide eyes,  Kirishima felt like prey under the watch of hungry lions. 

“What...what’s going on guys?” Your thumb rubs over Kirishima’s hardened nipples, watching his toned belly contort from the external stimulation. “Kiri..” you pout your lips mockingly before grabbing Kirishima’s cock that laid limp against his stomach. His red eyes followed your body down to your pussy. You rubbed his dick over your cunt, hovering over him. His hips twitching when your thumb presses down underneath his girthy head.

“I haven’t came yet.”

[lavenderdreams22]

HII could i possibly request a platonic eddie munson x 15 year old sister reader (i gotta say platonic now bc someone wrote a romantic one when i first requested this 💀) where the reader has the same music taste n style as eddie n they get into a fake argument over something really stupid as siblings do (probably just back n forth teasing) n it develops into a play fight?

A/N: I hope this is what you were looking for! Thank you for sending this request in, it was fun to write something other than romance for Eddie. I hope you like it 😊 @havocskies

Warnings: Cursing

*****

The Shirt Thief - Eddie Munson & Sister!Reader

“Have you seen my Hellfire shirt? I can’t find it anywhere.” Eddie called from his bedroom. “We were supposed to be at the school like five minutes ago.” 

She glanced down at the shirt in question, the chain on her skirt jingling as she shifted from foot to foot. She had found it in the bathroom and threw it in with her laundry. When she got dressed tonight, she couldn't find her own, so she threw this one on instead. 

“Just wear something else.” She called down the hallway.

“That’s my lucky shirt.” He poked his head out of the doorway, “I asked Chrissy out in that shirt. You little twerps won the Cult of Vecna while I was wearing that shirt.” 

“Well, maybe that’s because you never take it off?” She mumbled, and he scrunched his eyebrows at her.

“Y/N, where’s my shirt?” He eyed her for a moment. 

That’s when he noticed the frayed hem and the small ink stain from a pen that had exploded. 

“You’re wearing it!” He shouted, storming down the hallway. “Give it back or I swear, I will put your teddy bear in the urinals at school.”

“Not if you care about your guitar, you won't.” She snapped, “Leave Teddy out of this.” 

He rolled his eyes, taking another step towards her. He knew she wouldn’t touch his guitar, but the thought still made him angry. She held her hands up in surrender, starting to back away from him as he slowly grinned at her.

“Leave me alone, Eddie.” She warned, “Uncle Wayne said you have to stop picking on me.”

“Well, Uncle Wayne’s not here.” His grin widened, “Is he, dear sister?” 

“I’m serious. Stop it.” Another step back and the back of her legs were met with the arm of the couch. 

With a scream, she darted around him. He stood there, stunned for a moment, before he had the sense to chase after her.

“Get back here, you little brat. Stop stealing my fucking clothes!” 

She slammed the door, and he was there in an instant, testing the handle and pounding his fists on the door. 

“If you don’t hurry up, I’m leaving you here, and I’m going to tell the boys that you were having girl problems.” He warned.

“You wouldn’t dare!” Her voice was muffled, and he resisted the urge to laugh.

“I would, in fact. I'm sure the other Freshman would LOVE to know about all the girl problems you're having.” Eddie’s tone seemed nonchalant. “Don’t test me, Y/N.” 

“Would you want me to tell Chrissy that before you guys started dating that you used to kiss your pillow and pretend it was her?” She retorted, pulling the shirt off and replacing it with one of his Metallica shirts that she had stolen a few weeks prior.

“Change your shirt.” He hit the door one last time. “Or I’m serious about leaving you here.” 

When she opened the door, his jaw dropped in disbelief. 

“How many of my shirts do you have?!” He asked, swiping the Hellfire shirt from her grasp.

“This is my payment for giving you your stupid shirt back, dingus.” She smiled at him, and he pinched the bridge of his nose.

He wrapped an arm around her head, pulling her to him and ran his knuckles over the top of her scalp. She squirmed, trying to pull loose from his grip. They struggled like that for a few moments before Eddie let go of her with a laugh. 

“Stay out of my room, you little shit.” He said, ruffling her hair. 

“I make no promises, asshole.” She replied. “Put your damn shirt on and let's go.” 

He pulled the shirt over his head, grabbing his bag and pushing through the door of the trailer. With a deep breath, he got a hint of your perfume and resisted the urge to roll his eyes again. “Ew. This smells like you.”

She stuck her tongue out at him, and they both laughed as they climbed into the van. 

“Can you play some Iron Maiden? Maybe Killers if you still have it in here?” She asked as she buckled in.

“'Course I can.” He grinned at her, “Taught you well, haven’t I?” 

“Shut up and drive.” She crossed her arms over her chest, but she couldn’t help the grin at her brother's approval. 

With a glance at the clock, Eddie groaned. They were officially 15 minutes late for Hellfire, and he was sure Dustin would never let him live it down. After double checking that his sister was buckled in, he started the van and sped the entire way to the school.

[procrastinatingsapphictrash]

My Tasha

Word count: 7334

Genre: Mostly angst but the ending is fluffy

Pairing: Natasha x fem!reader

Warnings: A sort of suggestive scene? I think that's all (let me know if I need to add any)

Request: congrats on those 500’ love!!! they are well deserved for all of your amazing words 🥺 i was just thinking how cute it be for nat to take a liking to reader, so she tries all those “seductive” tricks the red room taught her, but r just reads it as a cocky fuckboy thing and rejects her? soft!nat appearing later to ask her out? 🥺

Summary: Natasha tries to seduce you at a party but you misunderstand, assuming she's just using you. Both of you mope before realizing what happened.

A/n: Finally I finished this! It was supposed to be 2000 words max but I got carried away and @teenwonder I blame you since you were the one who sent in this idea. I actually really like how this turned out, even if it differs from the prompt slightly so I hope you guys like it too because this probably took at least ten hours to write and I have lost way too much sleep over it. Enjoy!

Natasha looks in the mirror and lifts the corner of her mouth into a slight smile. She looks hot and she knows it, spending hours in front of the mirror perfecting the look. Her eyeshadow screams seduction and her lipstick highlights and colours the natural shape of her lips. Her lashes are curled to perfection and her makeup is applied with the technique she learned years ago that was guaranteed to make people stare. Her hair is straightened because it matches the look and also the last time she straightened it you had complimented her hair so she knows you like it.

Her dress is black, the colour that looks best on her, with a neckline that is dangerously low and the bottom riding dangerously high on her thigh. Her heels are her go to ones for anytime she wants to seduce anyone, they manage to work every time and have become a small symbol of luck for her and tonight she needs all the luck she can get for tonight’s party.

Usually people are easy to seduce, she just has to figure out the likes and dislikes of her target and play up to them. Tonight shouldn’t be much different except for the big added aspect of her actually caring. She’s never had to seduce someone she’s wanted to before so she knows it’s going to be harder than normal. Taking a deep breath she pushes the nerves away and smirks at her own reflection before going to meet everyone in the main room.

Your breath hitches when she walks in and you quickly look away so it doesn’t seem like you’ve been waiting for her arrival. She’s gorgeous, she always is, but tonight there’s something about her that’s different, like she put more effort than usual. You force yourself to stay calm and look away, pretending to still be interested in the conversation you had been having with Carol that you zoned out of the moment Natasha entered the room.

Carol’s looking at you strangely. “What?”

She gives a half laugh. “You think I didn’t notice you drooling over Natasha.”

“That obvious?” you ask and she nods. “Damn.”

“Damn is right, she’s smoking!” Carol whisper-yells, glancing over quickly and then back to you.

“Carol!” you exclaim aghast.

She laughs again. “Don’t worry I’m not trying to steal your girl, after all I have Valkyrie.”

“Yes and you constantly remind me of that.” you mumble which she ignores.

“I’m just saying that some people are already staring at her and are going to be all over her soon, you need to make your move quickly.” she finishes.

“I will.” you tell her, with no real intention of going to talk to her.

“Sure you will,” she says quietly at first before yelling in Natasha’s direction, “Hey Romanoff! Come here.”

Natasha is surprised and she hopes Carol isn’t calling her over because she noticed her staring. Logically she knows that Carol doesn’t want to date you and is dating Valkyrie but it looked far too much like flirting in her opinion. There were whispers and giggles and at one point you got all flustered and embarrassed. She doesn’t like how possessive she feels over you when she has no right to but somehow when it comes to you she can’t quite control herself.

Showing none of the inner thoughts that go through her head she weaves her way over to you. At first some of the team is staring because they got startled by Carol’s yell but a small glare gets them to look away again.

“Hey.” Carol greets when she walks over.

“Hey.” she says back with a smile and it’s not her fault if the smile is a little flirtier than normal and directed more towards where you’re standing. “What’s up?”

“I want to go find Valkyrie and see what’s taking so long for her to come back from the bar but didn’t want to leave Y/n all alone at a party and since you were alone too I thought it would be a great idea for you guys to spend the party together!” she explains quickly. “I’ll come back soon!”

With that she leaves and you and Natasha are left looking at each other awkwardly. She wants to say something to break the silence but all her earlier confidence is gone and she feels like a schoolgirl with her first crush. Which is half true, she is definitely not a schoolgirl but she’s never had feelings like this for anybody before.

“You don’t have to stay here.” you offer, feeling bad that she was forced to come here and babysit you. Carol is your best friend but sometimes you just can’t stand her. This is so uncomfortable and Natasha is looking at you weirdly and you just know that she’ll apologize and leave so she can spend the party with people who actually know how to have fun.

“I know but I want to.” she says and you can’t help looking away shyly and smiling. She smiles herself at your cuteness, now slightly more confident knowing that she can make you react like that.

---

She smirks as for the thousandth time that night you struggle to keep your gaze from dipping below her neck. The dress was a good choice and judging based on your lack of eye contact you appreciate it. She knows you find her attractive, it’s hard not to know that with you staring at her boobs every few seconds but as the night goes on she’s more and more hopefully that you want to date her. Your flushed cheeks and occasional stuttering give you away.

Some guy interrupts your conversation and she resists the urge to punch him. She doesn’t know what he’s here for and shouldn’t punch people for interrupting a conversation with a girl she really really likes (she doesn’t allow herself to consider love just yet).

“Hey beautiful.” he greets her, stepping into her space and ignoring you. Against her better judgment she does punch him and giggles as he staggers backwards muttering about bitches under his breath. Really the punch shouldn’t have affected him that much, it was light and not in an area that would cause serious injury, he was just weak.

“Holy fuck.” you whisper under your breath.

“That didn’t bother you, did it?” she rushes to confirm, not wanting to have upset you by resorting to violence. She wasn’t quite sure how to take your holy fuck, whether you meant it in a good way or not.

“It was so hot.” you breath and then immediately clamp a hand over your mouth once you’ve realized what you’ve said out loud.

You’re about to apologize but she speaks first. “Really?”

You don’t understand how she makes her voice sound so smooth and seductive but it makes your knees weak. You’re nervous but there’s no point in taking it back now and it does seem like she’s flirting with you so you continue.

“Yeah, what can I say I like strong women who don’t take shit from men.” you say, moving closer to her. You haven’t flirted very much before but judging based on how her eyes darken slightly you think it’s working.

She reaches out and runs her hand down the side of your face slowly, making you shiver. “Looks like we have the same type.”

She keeps her hand there for a second then leans in slowly, giving you time to pull away. You’re frustrated by how long it’s taking and try to take a small step towards her so you can kiss her. It doesn’t work well since you forgot you’re wearing heels and lose your balance, making her laugh, her breaths dancing over your lips. And then suddenly she’s not moving slowly anymore and her lips are on yours and it’s all you can think about. Your other senses are all dulled and you kiss her harder to prove that this is real.

After a few seconds she pulls back. “I didn’t want people to see,” she explains when she sees your pout, “hallway?”

You’re not sure if it’s even possible for you to do anything but nod and take her hand as she leads you out. Inside of taking you to the main hall she takes you to a side one that doesn’t get used often and only the avengers have access to. Glancing around again to make sure nobody notices she pulls you inside and immediately you’re kissing again.

She presses you against the wall and you grip her shoulders tightly, your nails dipping into her bare skin. When she pulls back again she notes in satisfaction that your lips are smeared with her lipstick and she applauds her choice of bright red. Inside of going back to your mouth she kisses along your jaw and your neck, the lipstick marking you. Happy with her work she moves back to your lips, humming happily at the feeling.

She likes it even more when she feels your mouth open to let her in, taking the opportunity to explore your mouth with her tongue. You let out a small whine and the noise reminds her of where you are.

“Come up to my room?” she asks, smirking. You’re about to say yes when you notice her smirk. It bugs you for some reason, it makes it seem like she’s winning some sort of prize. Breathing heavily you look more closely at her and notice her heels. It’s her seductive mission heels. And then you realize she often wears a black dress to seduce people as well. You feel like a complete idiot, she doesn’t want you for anything more than a quick fling. This was a calculated move on her part.

“No.” you tell her firmly, only able to hold back your tears due to sheer anger. You thought that you were friends, how dare she try to play with your feelings just because she knew she could. Taking advantage of her shock you push past her, running out of the hall and back into the party. You look like a disaster so as quickly as possibly to rush to the doors and leave, running to your room, thankful that everyone seems too invested in their own conversations to notice you going.

You keep running until you reach your room. It didn’t look like she was following you but you don’t want to take any chances. Flinging off your heels because they’re uncomfortable you launch yourself onto your bed and curl up, pulling the covers over your head and putting your face into a pillow. You’re probably getting her lipstick all over right now but you don’t care, you don’t have enough energy to care right now.

You berate yourself again for how stupid you are. You got so caught up in your own emotions that you didn’t even consider that it didn’t mean the same to her as it did to you. It’s so obvious in hindsight. How after one kiss she wanted to sneak away so nobody saw, her glance back at the room before you entered the hall. She wasn’t looking for a relationship that much was clear. She invited you to her bedroom, not on a date.

You try to reason with yourself to make the pain go away but it doesn’t. You weren’t super close but you considered her a friend. Apparently she didn’t consider you one if she was willing to put your friendship aside for sex. You briefly consider that maybe she didn’t know about your feelings but you shake that thought off. She’s smart and reads people easily, she knew she just didn’t care.

You hate the tears that roll down your face. You can’t tell if they’re from sadness or anger and it doesn’t matter. Nothing seems to matter right now. Sobs wrack your body harder and you scream silently into your pillow. You hate this so much, you hate crying and you wish you could hate Natasha but you can’t. You hate yourself for letting yourself get hurt like this though.

---

Natasha watches you leave. She wants to run after you but the look on your face when you pushed by her stops her. You looked so disgusted that you had just made out with her and she can feel her heart breaking into a million pieces just thinking about it. She doesn't know what she did to get it. It’s obvious that you regretted kissing her but it hurts that you seem disgusted by it.

She allows herself a few moments to stand there and try to comprehend what just went on, a single tear dripping down her face. Swallowing hard she wipes it away and takes a breath to collect herself. She makes sure her dress is straight and runs her fingers through her hair so it doesn’t look too wild.

It doesn’t really matter what she looks like, she’s planning to slip out the back of the hall, the opposite way that you went, so it’s unlikely anyone will see her but she wants to be prepared on the off chance that the halls aren’t empty. Biting her lip to stay calm she walks out the end of the hall and slowly makes her way to her room.

She feels so stupid. She’s not even mad at you for feeling disgusted she’s mad at herself. She got so caught up in her own feeling that she never stopped to think about the fact that you don’t like her back. For a moment it seemed like you did but that was probably you being too nice to say no to her.

Her heels seem to mock her as she walks up the stairs with the way they clip clop. So much for lucky heels, she’ll never be able to use them again without remembering how badly she failed. She tugs on her dress from both the top and the bottom, trying to pull it longer in both directions. She felt so confident in it earlier in the mirror and especially when she caught you staring but now she just feels dirty and slutty.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” she mutters out loud to herself when she finally gets to her room. Looking in her mirror upon entry only makes things worse. She’s lucky that she didn’t see anyone in the halls because even after her attempts at cleaning up she looks like a mess. Her makeup is smudged all over and she can see the upset written plainly on her face.

Usually it’s easy to hide her emotions but usually she doesn’t feel such strong ones. You make her feel and she hates it. Only earlier today she loved that you made her feel. She loved the way her heart fluttered thinking about you and how she wasn’t always perfectly composed. You made her feel normal. But now she hates the way her heart betrays her, happy at even the thought of you.

Her only option right now is to forget and she thanks herself for always keeping a bottle of vodka in her room. A bad habit perhaps, but she rarely drinks from it and it is perfect for this situation. Drinking doesn’t help much, even after a while the hurt is still fresh in her mind, but it stops her from overthinking. When she eventually leaves the bottle and slips into bed it’s nobody’s business but hers if she cries herself to sleep.

---

You bury yourself deeper into your covers when you hear knocks at your door, hoping that whoever it is will go away soon.

“Y/n open up!” you hear Carol shout, still pounding on the door. “Unless Natasha’s with you, don’t think I didn’t notice you left the party earlier.”

Carol’s mention of Natasha makes a lump form in your throat and suddenly you feel the sudden urge to take a shower and wash all of her off you. You must have stayed silent for too long because Carol’s knocking stops and she speaks again.

“If you don’t say anything in five seconds I’m coming in.” she tells you.

You don’t know if you want her here or not. Carol is always good at making you cheer up but you feel embarrassed to tell anybody what happened.

“Four.”

Carol would understand though, she’s never been one to judge people for things and she was the one who helped push you towards Natasha, telling you she liked you back.

“Three.”

You realize that Natasha’s lipstick is still all over you and you’re still wearing the dress from last night. It’s too late to fix the clothes but you try to wipe the lipstick from your neck as quickly as possible (spoiler, it doesn’t go very well).

“Two.”

You’re still not sure if you want her to come in so you open your mouth to try to tell her to go away but the lump in your throat prevents you from speaking.

“One, I’m coming in now.” she says, opening the door. “Is that Natasha’s lipstick?”

It’s too much and you get overwhelmed, bursting into tears. Her grin of triumph from when she saw the lipstick quickly disappears and she rushes over to comfort you, wrapping you in a big hug.

“Do I have to kill her?” she asks, when you’ve calmed down a little bit. If you didn’t know Carol enough to know she’s actually a huge softy you would think she is dead serious.

“No,” you tell her, managing a weak smile at how quickly Carol comes to your defense.

“Are you sure?” she asks. “You have her lipstick all over you and you’re crying because of her. What did she do wrong?”

“It’s not her fault,” you protest. Natasha and Carol are friends and you don’t want them to stop being close because of you.

“It’s not her fault you’re crying?” Carol asks skeptically.

“I-um, she,” you stumble over your words because technically it is her fault you’re crying. “She didn’t mean to.” you finally settle on saying.

Carol doesn’t look any happier with the situation than she did before. “Please tell me what happened Y/n so I can go beat her up for you. Did she try to force herself on you or do anything you didn’t want?”

“No.” you say, shaking your head. Natasha may have only been looking for a one night stand or short fling but you can confidently say that she would never do that.

“Okay, then what did she do to make you so upset? It doesn’t look like she rejected you.” Carol is both stubborn and curious and you sigh knowing you’re not going to be able to get out of this conversation without telling her what happened.

“At first it was really nice, we were talking and then we were kissing. But then-” you pause and take a deep breath as Carol rubs a hand comfortingly on your back. “But then she asked if I wanted to go up to her room.” you pause again, trying not to cry for the second time this morning.

“What did you say?” Carol asks softly, knowing this is hard for you.

“I almost said yes, I was planning to say yes,” you tell her, “but then I looked down at her heels.”

“Her heels?”

“She was wearing the heels she always wears for missions where she has to seduce shady old men.” you explain. “And her dress seemed different than normal, like one she’d wear on a mission and she was smirking at me, like she got exactly what she wanted.”

“She treated you like a mission.” Carol states, a hard look in her eye. “That bitch.”

“Carol,” you warn, “you’re her friend too.”

“And as her friend I’m going to give her some friendly advice.” She emphasizes the word friendly giving the impression that it wasn’t going to be friendly at all.

“It will only make things worse.” you tell her. “I just want to forget about it.”

Carol keeps the hard look but softens a little, smiling at you. “Okay, whatever you want. We could spend the day watching movies and eating ice cream?”

“Okay.” you tell her. You’ve never been heartbroken before but you’ve seen movies and apparently this is what everyone does.

“I’ll go get the ice cream while you pick a movie.” she tells you, standing up. “I’ll even watch a disney one if you’d like.”

You give a halfhearted cheer, trying to convince Carol that you’re excited. She frowns as she leaves the room, that cheer was obviously fake. Any other time and you would be beyond happy that she was agreeing to watch Disney movies with you, you’ve been begging her to for almost a year. She can’t help but feel anger at Natasha and anger at herself. Anger at Natasha for playing with your feelings but anger at herself for pushing you to be with Natasha. She should have realized Natasha wouldn’t treat you right but she was so caught up in trying to pair you together that she didn’t see it.

---

Natasha wakes up as normal, feeling a headache forming already. Glancing towards her alarm clock she sits up in shock when she reads how late it is. She’s never in bed after noon. She groans when she realizes sitting up that quickly was not a good idea and makes her feel nauseous. She takes a few breaths, in and out, to calm herself and tries to remember why she drank so much. She was upset, she remembers that. She was upset because her plan didn’t work.

She feels a sharp pain in her heart when her mental blocks seem to go away and she remembers everything that happened, how the night had been going so perfectly and she had felt so happy only for it to all come crashing down when you ran away, disgusted that you kissed her.

“Stupid.” she tells herself, getting out of bed. She reminds herself of that as she goes about her normal morning routine, washing her face, brushing her teeth and getting dressed. She was so stupid to risk your friendship for something more, now it would be a miracle if you still wanted to be around her. Even if it hurt to pretend you hadn’t kissed she would go back to being friends with you in an instant if you still wanted her. She tries not to think about how big of an if that is.

When she is presentable she decides to head down the kitchen and grab some food. It’s been awhile since she last ate and there’s no use in trying to hide away and avoid her problems; she will either see you and have to confront them or you won’t be there. She knows that hiding away will only make things worse and appear weak, if she leaves her room and pretends everything is normal it will make her seem less hurt than she is.

“Hi Natasha.” Tony says in a weird voice when she enters the kitchen, waggling his eyebrows. She does her best not to show her obvious disappointment that almost everybody is here. The one upside is that you’re not.

“Hi Tony.” she says tiredly, walking over to grab a piece of bread and plopping it in the toaster.

“So Natasha,” he starts, oblivious to her unrelaxed mood, “how was last night?”

Natasha whips around lightning fast, staring at him. “What do you mean?”

He couldn’t possibly have heard, could he? She had hoped to talk to you before word got out about the rejection, to try to keep it on the down-low because the guys would never let her live it down. She assumed you wouldn’t tell anyone but you did leave the hall in the direction of the party so maybe you decided to stay.

“I mean with Y/n.” he says casually as Natasha fights to keep a straight face as her heart beats wildly in her chest. “Don’t think we didn’t notice how you both left early.”

Natasha lets out an almost unnoticeable sigh of relief. He didn’t know anything important.

“Well that may be the case but I can assure you nothing happened.” she tells him.

“Then where is she now?” Tony challenges.

“I don’t know, if you haven’t seen her she’s probably in her room.” Natasha responds smoothly. It’s just her luck that after being rejected by the girl of her dreams Tony thinks they got together.

“And where were you?”

Natasha gives him a deadpan stare. “My own room.”

He scoffs. “First of all you could be lying to us, I know you spies are good at that. But if you aren’t you need to get some balls and ask her out already.”

Natasha scowls. “A man’s balls are the weakest part of his body, I am good without them.”

Tony has enough self preservation to step back for a second. Natasha lets him think that her annoyance is solely over his sexist statement but really it wasn’t that bad and she’s just upset that she can’t have you so she really doesn’t want to be talking about asking you out.

“You should.” Clint speaks up.

Natasha rolls her eyes. “Not you too.”

“See Clint agrees with me and I bet the others do too.” Tony says smugly. Natasha lets her eyes move slowly around the room and one but one they all look away when she catches their eye, showing her that while they are too nervous to outright say it, Tony is right and they do agree.

“I don’t care about that,” she says, “I am not and that’s the end of the story.”

“What not?” Tony persists. “You like her, you can’t deny that, so give me one good reason not to.”

“Because she wouldn’t want to and I respect that.” Natasha says calmly. Inside she feels her stomach twisting and she wants to break something. She may be good at hiding her emotions but this conversation is proving to be next to impossible.

Tony scoffs again. “There’s no way, that girl is so in love with you it’s ridiculous.”

“What’s ridiculous is that you assume things about other people and can’t let this go.” Natasha tells him icily. “You don’t know what she’d say.”

“Then you don’t know either.” Tony counters.

“Then why did she say no when I asked her out last night?” Natasha snaps at him. There are gasps all around the room and to her mortification she is barely holding in the tears that spring to her eyes.

“What?” Sam asks in disbelief.

“I asked her out, she said no and that’s that.” Natasha explains, trying to keep her composure but failing when a tear falls down her cheek. “Excuse me.”

She hurries out of the room, no longer able to handle the talk of asking you out and the disbelieving stares. As she gets back to her room and lies in bed once more she notes in annoyance that she never got her toast. Not that she’s hungry anymore anyway. She doesn’t feel anything anymore except sadness and emptiness. She knew her feelings for you were strong but now that she knows for sure that you don’t want her they feel even stronger and it makes her realize just how much this meant to her and how much she lost.

---

“Hey.” Carol greets as she walks in the kitchen and heads straight for the freezer.

“Morning Carol.” Bruce says, looking shocked when he sees the amount of ice cream she’s holding. “Ice cream for breakfast?”

“It’s for Y/n.” Carol explains.

Tony’s expression turns dark. “What on earth does she need it for?”

“Girl problems, also known as none of your business.” Carols says, in an admittedly sassy voice.

Tony glares. “By girl problems do you mean what happened with Romanoff last night.”

He may tease Natasha but she was like family to him and he would not allow your feelings to be coddled while you stomped all over hers. He doesn’t care if you feel bad for rejecting her, you had flirted and let her on for too long and feeling bad was the least you deserve.

In an instant Carol is across the kitchen and inches from his face. “How do you know?”

“Hey, calm down.” Bruce says, stepping in when he notices Clint and Sam have both tensed up, presumably to defend Natasha’s honor. Even though he’s a man himself he doesn’t understand them sometimes, Natasha was more than capable of taking care of herself and starting a fight between Tony and Carol, the two most stubborn on the team, would only be a headache for weeks to come.

“How do you know?” Carol asks Bruce, thankfully stepping back from Tony.

“She was here a few minutes ago and told us.”

Carol curses under her breath. “That bitch.”

“Hey!” Clint says loudly. “If anyone is a bitch here it’s Y/n.”

“Yes because it’s all Y/n’s fault.” Carol says sarcastically.

Sam decides he’s had enough of Carol. “Yes actually, it is.”

“Bullshit.”

The three of them go back and forth with Carol, mainly cursing and getting a little off topic.

It’s when Carol calls Tony an idiot that Bruce speaks up. “You weren’t here to see Natasha cry.”

“What?” Carol turned to face Bruce, shocked. He isn’t one for petty arguments so she believes what comes out of his mouth. But why would Natasha cry? It doesn’t make sense, she was the one who broke your heart, not the other way around. “Natasha never cries.”

“Well she just did.” Tony says but it’s not in a confrontational tone anymore. He’s not sure what Carol knows but it’s obvious she didn’t know fully what happened.

“Why?”

“It was partly my fault,” Tony admits, “I was teasing her about asking out Y/n and she kept saying no and eventually snapped and told us that she did last night but Y/n rejected her.”

Carol scrunches her brow in confusion. “That’s not what Y/n told me- OHHH.”

“What?” The voice comes simultaneously from all four men at once.

“They are both idiots.” Carol says, smiling and laughing for the first time since entering the kitchen. “They are both huge idiots that don’t know shit about feelings.”

“What?” Tony asks again, wanting to know what Carol’s thinking.

“Okay I’ll tell you but don’t interrupt.” Carol warns and looks at all of them to make sure they nod in agreement. Once she is satisfied she starts. “So this morning I found Y/n in tears and covered in Natasha’s lipstick. Apparently they had fun at the party last night and then snuck away to makeout. Y/n was upset because Natasha asked her up to her room instead of on a date and she noticed that Natasha was wearing her mission heels, do you know them?”

“The ones that she uses to seduce old men for Shield?” Sam asks just to make sure.

“Yep.” Carol confirms. “So anyways Y/n is upset because she thinks that she was just some sort of challenge to Natasha so she left her there…”

“...but Natasha was actually serious about her.” Clint finishes.

Tony laughs. “They really are idiots.”

“I am definitely telling this story at their wedding and to their future kids.” Sam says, also laughing.

“Well first they need to actually talk to each other about this.” Bruce points out, lowering the happy mood of the room. “Right now they’re both in their rooms miserable and feelings like the other doesn’t want them.”

“We should get Natasha to talk to Y/n,” Carol suggests, “because I know that Y/n won’t believe us unless Natasha is the one to tell her.”

“Okay I volunteer to talk to Natasha.” Tony suggests.

“No.” Carol tells him.

“Well you’re Y/n’s best friend so she won’t want to talk to you either right now.” he counters.

“Yes but you’re also a horrible option, I think Bruce would be best for this.”

Bruce looks around the room. “Me?”

“That does make sense,” Clint agrees with Carol, “out of all of us you’re the best at calming people down and she’d be most likely to believe you quicker.”

“But-”

“No buts Brucie, don’t you want to see them together?” Tony pleads.

“Yeah come on Brucie,” Sam mocks Tony, “do it for love.”

Bruce sighs as he watches Tony pout and Sam flutter his eyelashes ridiculously. “Fine.”

“Get straight to the point,” Clint advises, “because she will kick you out if you don’t.”

“Okay.”

Bruce leaves the kitchen to head to Natasha’s room. It took ages for him to be convinced to join the avengers and every day he can’t tell if he regrets his choice or loves his choice. Certainly no other job in the world would force him to go talk to his scary assassin coworker so she and his other coworker can get together. He really isn’t paid enough for this.

A knock startles Natasha. She didn’t think anyone would come after her because she assumed they would all be too scared when she’s in a bad mood.

“Who is it?” she calls out.

“Bruce.”

“Bruce,” she sighs, “I’m sorry but I need to be alone right now, I hope you of all people can understand that.”

“No.” he responds, surprising both her and himself with how determined his voice sounds.

“Bruce-” she starts but he interrupts.

“Hear me out first Natasha,” he begs, “please.”

She thinks about it for a moment before giving up and sighing, she’s not in the mood to spend time arguing. “Fine, but you have to stay outside the door.”

“If that’s what you want.” he agrees, pausing a second to figure out how he wants to word things. “I just came back from an interesting conversation with Carol in the kitchen.” he settles on saying.

“Oh?” She tries not to think about what that means. Carol is your best friend and after her scene in the kitchen this morning she doesn’t think there would be any other reason he would bring her up.

“She was getting ice cream for Y/n because apparently she’s upset.” he offers as a means of explanation.

“Oh.” she says again and it’s so quiet she doesn’t think he heard her. “You can tell Carol that I’ll apologize to Y/n tomorrow, I need to gain control of myself first.”

She never thought about how it would be from your end of things. She forced you into more than you wanted and tried to ask you out and she selfishly focused on her own feelings when you probably were upset that she kissed you. Or you thought you would lose her as a friend. She doesn't think she is capable of talking to you without breaking down right now but in a few days she’ll be fine and able to pretend nothing changed.

“That’s not what she was upset about,” Bruce tells her, “Carol says she was upset because she thought it didn’t mean anything to you.”

“What, why?” Natasha can’t help but let her interest be taken. She doesn’t want to get her hopes up, what Bruce said could mean a lot of different things.

“I feel like I’m in middle school and there’s broken telephone being played between two crushes.” Bruce jokes.

“Bruce, tell me why.” Natasha demands. Her voice is soft but they both know if Bruce stalls any longer she’ll drop the sweet act.

“Well Carol said she said that it seemed like you were acting as if she was your mission to seduce and not like you actually wanted to be with her.” Bruce says, relaying the information.

“Crap.”

Bruce waits for Natasha to elaborate but she doesn’t say anything. “Are you okay in there?”

“Yes, thank you Bruce,” she says, “I need to go fix this, you can leave now.”

He can’t help but feel relieved as he speeds away down the hall. He is never going to do anything like that again, it was way too awkward. He still doesn’t understand how the others forced him to do this, damn his heart for being persuaded it was a good cause. The one upside is that talking to Natasha did seem to work and with any luck she’d be able to fix her mistakes with you. If she didn’t he did all this for nothing and may very well hulk out.

---

Natasha paces back and forth in her room. If Bruce was right (and she has no reason to believe he would lie) you didn’t run away because you didn’t like her, you ran away because you thought she didn’t like you. She winces when she thinks about it. Looking back she can see why you were mistaken and thought she didn’t have true feelings for you because she did treat you like a mark. She analyzed what hairstyle and dress you would like and wore her good luck heels. Even the way she talked and acted was calculated to be exactly what you’d like.

She’s stupid, so stupid and if she had just asked you out in a normal way instead of trying to seduce you she could be on a brunch date with you right now. It had never occurred to her to try it any other way, she was taught that seducing was the easiest way to get people to like you so why should it be different for a normal date? In hindsight using red room techniques to get a date is a horrible idea and she can’t believe she didn’t see it before. Maybe she hasn’t shaken off the red room ideals as much as she thought she had.

The thought scares her, her entire life upon leaving the red room has been dedicated to being a force for good, the opposite of everything the red room stood for so to realize that they still have their claws in deeper than she thought is terrifying. She takes a deep breath and tries to make it go away, which is mostly successful as the thought is reduced to the back of her mind. She can take her thoughts and analyze them later, which is another thing the red room taught her to do she notes, but right now she has to focus on the thing that’s most important, fixing her mistake.

As she walks through the halls to your room she runs through things she should say in her head but nothing sounds right. Perhaps it’s for the best though, that way you can tell she’s genuine and not performing another script. She pauses as she reaches your door, finding herself almost shaking with nerves. What if you don’t want her anymore or Bruce misunderstood or worst of all you still think she doesn’t care?

She almost turns around and goes back, unfamiliar with this type of fear but she knows that if she does all chances of fixing things and having a relationship with you will be reduced to zero. Taking a deep breath she turns the knob and pushes the door open.

You don’t look right away when you hear the door open, too lazy to care. “What took you so long, you were supposed to be back with the ice cream ages ago.”

“I-”

You spin around quickly. “You’re not Carol.”

“Nor do I have ice cream.” She tries to joke but it falls flat.

“Why are you here?” you ask and she winces. It’s blunt and straight to the point, your tone quiet but practically screaming at her to get out.

Since you got straight to the point she decides to do the same. “To ask you out.”

You must look even more shocked than you feel because she quickly jumps in to explain. “That’s what I was trying to do at the party last night, although I know you assumed that I didn’t mean it. I know you noticed the heels and I know I was smirking and it seemed like I was playing you but it really was genuine, I was just trying to do it the wrong way. I was always taught in the red room that to get people to like you romantically the best way to do that is to seduce them but obviously that is wrong and I didn’t realize until too late.”

There’s a lot of information to take in but your mind gets stuck on one question. “How do you know all that about how I felt?”

“Carol talked to Bruce who talked to me.” she says, looking slightly embarrassed at how elementary that sounds. “So?”

“So what?” You know she wants to know if you’ll go out with her for real and you really want to immediately say yes but you also want to hear her ask you properly.

She seems to understand. “Will you go on a date with me Y/n?”

You hesitate one moment before responding. It’s unnecessarily mean but you just spent a good portion of last night and this morning crying over her and besides, she looks absolutely adorable as she shifts her weight from side to side nervously. She looks exactly how you want her to look, no makeup and wearing sweatpants. It’s natural and genuine and everything you would have loved to see last night.

“Yes.”

“Oh thank god.” she laughs in relief, the pitch of it breathier than normal.

“I like it when you do that.” you tell her.

She furrows her brow, confused. “Do what?”

“When you laugh like that or wear old clothes, like you’re not trying to impress me.” you explain.

“So when I do the opposite of what I did last night?” she asks, laughing at herself for being so stupid. Of course you didn’t fall for all the acts, if you did she wouldn’t like you as much as she does. You make her feel different and that’s a good thing, she shouldn’t have to act around you.

“Yeah, don’t get me wrong last night was hot,” you tell her, “but it’s not you. That’s agent Romanoff putting on whatever mask she needs to be for the night, this here is my Tasha.”

“Your Tasha, huh,” she teases, “possessive much?”

“Sorry.”

“No,” she tells you, “I like it. I don’t need to put a mask on around you because you’re you and I am your Tasha. But you’re also mine.”

“All yours.” you confirm and she visibly shivers. “Apparently I’m not the only possessive one.”

“Apparently.” she says looking at you in a way that makes heat rise to your cheeks.

“Since we wasted time last night maybe we could start with a movie date right now?” you suggest shyly, changing the topic.

“Well we do have time to make up for.” she agrees, sitting down on the bed beside you. “What movie?”

“Mulan.” you tell her pressing the remote to drop the tv down into your room. There were definitely benefits to living with Tony.

“A disney movie?” she asks skeptically.

“Have you seen it?” you ask already knowing the answer before she shakes her head. “Then don’t knock it, it’s a great movie.”

“If you say so.” she says, still slightly skeptical but much more open to it. Even if the movie is garbage she doesn’t think she’d mind watching it with you. She definitely doesn’t mind it when your head drops onto your shoulder and you fall asleep, tired from the emotional rollercoaster you just went on. And when the movie ends she doesn’t move, happy to have you there, even when hours later her shoulder is all tense and cramped. It scares her how much she feels for you already but it also feels freeing, she knows she is not just the product of the red room because their biggest rule is to not fall in love and she’s definitely going to break that soon, if she hasn’t already.

---

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