#it's so fuckign good i could talk forever

[shittinggold]

Black Sails at its core is a tragedy, in that we know how the story will end. This is the nature of its existence as a prequel - we know the fates of many characters, as well as the fate of Nassau and the wider world because Treasure Island exists. We know Billy must end up on that beach, we know Flint must be long gone, we know John Silver must become Long, and we know the revolution fails. The events of the story are dictated by its ending, which we are told before the story starts.

And at the same time, because it is a historical show that uses real world elements and real people, it is also constrained by the bind of history. We know the pirate rebellion does not succeed; we know that slaves do not overthrow the British Empire in 1718. This is what's so brilliant about the way the show's cast is constructed. By using a combination of historical and fictional priates, the show locks itself into being a tragedy on multiple levels. The story of Treasure Island and the story of history both contain it.

Yet even within that, the hope it inspires is so real and powerful that it makes us believe that it can end some other way. We hear Flint or Madi talk about a world after England, and it is such a beautiful thought that we believe it might actually happen, despite knowing that that it can't.

Which is what's so brilliant about the climax, with Flint and Silver in the woods. Flint is raging, rattling the bars of narrative and history both, adamant that the world he envisions can be real. While Silver, the storyteller, knows the truth - that there is only one way the story ends, and the revolution's failure is inevitable.

...Or is it? Certainly, it doesn't succeed, but was it inevitable? So many characters talk about inevitability, but one of my favourite scenes is between Jack and Max in 4x07, where Max claims that war against civilisation is inherently doomed nd history proves that, and Jack points out that it's that belief that caused her to side against the pirates and cause the war's doom. The thing is that they're both right. History is fact, and also written in part because of what people believe will be written.

So the story ends with so many questions, and invites us to write the rest. We thought Flint's fate, drinking himself to death in Savannah, was sealed by Treasure Island, but now we have been told a new story. He instead finds his lost love and lives happily ever afer. Except, no, that itself was a story, and he's actually buried in the forest by Silver. The story's ending depends on the teller, and we are pushed into the role of teller.

And because of how the show is structured - fiction and history interwoven - we must consider how this fuidity in truth applies to history. We assume we know the story of history because we are at its end. It seems so inevitable in retrospect. Yet it never was, and isn't now, as it is being written. Maybe we know that Jack Rackham is arrested and killed soon after the series ends, because that's what happened in real life, but maybe we're wrong. Maybe there's something else. A story is true, a story is untrue.

Everything is built to make the awful ending an absolute certainty, locked tight in the dual cages of fiction and fact. But there is enough ambiguity and hope within to make us justifiably believe that it can end another way. Silver and Flint are both right. The ending was both inevitable and a direct result of the choices people made. It was always going to end this way. It didn't have to end this way.

[chushanye]

all my notes on episodes 44 and 45:

the Beth and Ron intro and "Ron...what are we?" made laugh while in a dead quiet bus on a border crossing while people were getting their passports checked and maybe THAT'S why the officer was rude to me

directly from my notes: "google lauren booger??? over the panrs hj in beetlejuice the musical, transphobic? okay i googled her ANTHONY WHAT THE FUCK"

ron sounds like Jennifer Coolidge in this episode

"Taylor walks in and looks at him a s i a n l y" *anthony losing it* "roll intimidation" -> i think i got a fever from how hard I laughed

*guitar strumming* "hold on Freddy's cooking" 🎵would you say a slurrrr. if you saw me in heaven🎵

listen you can't APOLOGISE away killing someone but Scarys grown as a person and Beths speech was very well composed

Taylor I love you forever (already rolling up sleeves, "you wanna go", stuttering over his words, the moment someone questions his dad's power) Freddy is a genius for this character

I relate to Normal painfully this episode. him welling up with tears and him feeling left out while people yry to comfort him in vain is like integral to my middle school experience

"schooled in jail" is so Scary of Link. shes really emo-fied them I appreciate that. I appreciate her influence.

i cannot get over the "chaos orbs" joke because everytime i just think they're talking about the fucking chaos emeralds from the sonic franchise

*crying* IM A BAD PERSON! RON! DADDY! -> I love Terry Jr charactarisation. I love how guilt has been eating him up. I love how he still loves Ron so much. I love that he still goes to his dad. I love them sm.

Ron is just Gandalf in the way hes an old man with wisdom everyone respects despite him making no sense sometimes.

I love Ron's charactarisation. How he tries to help Nick and "you lied to me kiddo" and how he's honest with Nick and fuck I miss Ron. Beth is doing a fantastic job.

Nick is so fucking cool.

Nick and Terry Jr were best friends? Was this established before?

ooh i love the just TASTY instrumentals as anthony describes the daddy magic

I LOVE NICK. hes so fucked uo and traumatised and he isn't exactly trying his best but that is due to the things he went through and he's going through so much but he loves Taylor even more and UGGGH the fuckign Close family man.

Taylor and Glenn interacting is always just Freddy going:

"if you found time travel maguc maybe you could pick me up and we could do childhood all over again" -> I don't want to hear ANYBODY say that Freddy's characters are one-note. He knows exactly who they are and exactly how to play them and they're endlessly fascinating to me.

Taylor and Normal volunteering to be kings of hell and getting themselves in a cage is so good. like from a character perspective. "fear. fear in talkors eyes. why did i open my mouth?" is SO fucking good. it does so much for portraying Taylors thought process or lack thereof. it does so much to paint how he reacts emotionally to things. Normal's desperate need for validation leading to him putting them in a dumbass situation? Taylor bejng blinded by what's funny/exciting only to realise too late he should think before he speaks? Perfect. this is so fucking true to teengehood I feel liek I've been both of them at some point

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

"send me asks about blood and gore and freak shit" OK!!!! god i wish i've watched bitb already bc i have heard there is some GOOD gore and blood in there. i am very excited 2 watch it tho, i think i'm gonna listen 2 it after pd :3 it's the other charlie gm campaign right?? what's it like what's the premise what's the general plot 👀 am curious.....

hmmm what else. OMG hey do u ever think about viv weylin and arthur bennett. i think she should be allowed to vivisect him weird style <3 do you think he goes back to the weylins to get his face fixed again bc it started melting off in the cullen games (also. an insane body horror visual there. i love a guy who has body parts that are literally melting off him im insane about u arthur bennett <3) ik there's a fic of viv vivisecting arthur out there already but i just love thinking about it <3 she should cut his back open and try to figure out how his wings function i think. also they should drink each other's blood freaky style. sry i cannot stop talking about my wife arthur bennett and my other wife viv weylin. this too is yuri <3

dude bitb makes me so crazy I don't even know if I could give you a rundown of the plot without major spoilers. it's only 4 eps!!!! u should watch the trailer though that's pretty good. uhhhhh. 3 best friends who grew up in the same small louisiana backwoods town are separated by adult life but come together for a reunion only for everything to go to shit!!! there's blood in that bayou!!! and also so many bugs. bugs in the bayou would be an equally appropriate name. it's sooooo fucking good. charlie slimecicle horror mind . call of cthulu ruleset.

I think viv can do whatever she wants forever <3 I support women's wrongs. she SHOULD vivisect arthur weird crazy style and fix his fuckign. melty dracula face. there's some maddddd intimacy there but I don't have the words to talk abt that right now. I am Thinking about it though . this too is yuri!!!!

[youmustfixyourheartt]

OOOOH PERFECT I KNOW SOME OF THESE LIL GUYS!!!!

okay I NEED NEED NEED to know your thoughts on Agnes 10+12, Gerry 5+22, and Melanie 26 (do you like how she healed in the end? Do you think she's finally somewhere where she can recover from the way the Slaughter took ahold of her, or do you think it'll haunt her forever?), as well as Homura 5 :]

(Sorry if that's a fucking lot, but I love sending these asks a LOT)

agnes:

10 "could you be best friends with this character" in a perfect world i'd like to think so. she scares me a little and we only really learn about her from the perspective of others...but i think maybe i'd like to learn more about her, make her tea even.

12 "a headcanon you have for this character" OHH BOY!! she tried to cut her hair when she was at hill top road. it just seemed to get dusty and damp and full of cobwebs and it scared her, that her warmth couldnt seem to get rid of it. she wanted every single inch of that house to evaporate off of her. it wasnt a good job at all, it was choppy and the scissors couldnt take the heat, but it was something.

gerry:

5 "whats the first song that comes to mind when you think of them" OH OH OH "demolition lovers" by my chemical romance or "the figurehead" by the cure. "all we are all we are is bullets i mean this" gerry drives me fuckign GAHH

22 "If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?" ok so. i dont usually read a lot of fic, but when i do ohohoh. i really like explorations of his motives and what makes him scared. he acts cool as shit but hes scared just like everybody else. he had no choice but to be thrown into this world of monsters and fear and the only thing he can do is try to help and undo something that seems so woven into him. i really also like it when he gets to talk with the modern archival staff sue me he would have fit in so good. i dont usually like heavy slash fic with him ..i think its fine but not something im Huge Huge on. would love to see more exploration of him and gertrude's dynamic or his mom

melanie:

26: Freebie (asked above) i love melanie so i like to think she is far away from everything and safe. realistically? its probably more complex. i think shes working on it shes trying her best with the cards shes been given. its ok to be angry its ok to not forgive, but you cannot burn up with those emotions and let hatred consume you whole. there are things you must persist for, things to love and love you back. it is ok to get hurt and to hurt but you must learn to forgive and love yourself so that you may love those around you. i don't think it will ever truly leave, all bullet wounds leave scars, but i think you can break down scar tissue and learn to grow again.

homura:

5: "whats the first song that comes to mind when you think of them" probably "darkness at the heart of my love" by ghost!!

Will you spill the wine To summon the divine? I'm with you always, always

Now paint a pair of eyes And let's watch as it dries Remember always, that love is all you need Tell me who you wanna be And I will set you free <- VERY HOMURA TO ME i know its not one to one but the song as a whole is so...i have many thoughts about her...

(ask game)

[bibaybe]

I'm so curious about Rika and Chishiya's relationship!!Plz tell all

so i got two asks about this, so you can see their dynamic in season 1 here!

season two is where they're kind of capable of actually showing their feelings for each other in a public setting, so rika takes advantage of that most of the time. during the witch hunt at the end of season 1, rika got shot in the arm and proceeds to get shot a second time in the leg during the King of Spades hunt, so we get a lot of chishiya taking care of her, bandaging wounds, etc, and its super cute and sweet when she's not being bitchy. ("why am i the one that keeps getting shot, huh? couldn't you take one for the team?" "next time the king of spades comes around, i'll get shot if it makes you feel better" "you better.... actually, don't do that. i like you in one piece" "yeah, that's what i thought")

she doesn't hide her feelings for him in the slightest, but he still keeps a bit of distance bc, shocker, they're in the borderlands and he doesn't want to be wrecked if she dies, duh. but she's more of the mindset of, fuck it, i could die anytime, if i die i want to have been with you. but she doesn't push him or anything, just makes her stance clear and lets him do the rest.

i'm not sure when they officially get together yet? i've got 3(maybe 4 i can't remember) episodes left so i haven't mapped that out yet. all i know is that, if they meet aguni and heiya which i assume will happen? awkward if it doesn't bc i've got a whole thing planned out and might just make happen anyway. BUT i think they still aren't officially together at that point, but chishiya is more comfy with the idea at that point. but when they run into aguni, rika has to deal with how she used and hurt him and basically tell him that everything she did was fake. and at the end of the convo, he's like, "when did you start falling for chishiya?" and she's just like... awkward didn't think you knew sorrryyyyy but like forever ago and its kinda awkward but unbeknownst to rika, he'd suspected she had feelings for him towards the end of their time at the Beach, so during their time apart he had time to come to terms with it

also unbeknowst to rika, after their talk he talks to chishiya and is like "she's special and she chose you. you better realize how fuckign good you have it and not let anything happen to that girl or i'll kill you myself" and they come to a mutual understanding and idk if they ever tell her but thats a thing

also heiya trying to flirt with chishiya and him just kind of ignoring her and then seeing rika and chishiya flirting when they think they're alone bc the only time they get distracted from their surroundings is when they're together and being like i have gotten rejected twice now bc of this bitch i stg i'll kill her but then they actually end up becoming friends after they have to work together and idk its just kinda funny to me

anyway chishiya and rika being each other weaknesses and strengths is just something i really like thinking about and they are so fucking personal to me i love them

[vrisrezis]

heard you wanted to write for aot so here i am!

what about hcs of jean, connie, and sasha having a crush on a reader whos more on the quiet/shy side and doesnt talk much/isnt really loud but is amazingly good with odm and hand to hand and is Levis favorite cause why not nfetwjq-

maybe how they react around the reader and/or how they ask them out ^^

they/them pronouns!

-aot anon [maybe?]

YESYESYESSSSS dude this is such a fuckign self insert for me bc I’m like the shyest ever lol (this takes place when they’re like 15 or smth lol hence the mention of marco and “christa”)

Okay first of all? Jean having a type for quiet ppl?? Mikasa??? Marco??? You??? It’s all coming together. He absolutely adores you and often strikes up conversations with you, he’s really happy if he can actually get you talking a bit with him. He certainly likes being around somebody on the quieter side, it’s a nice change! Jean thinks it’s cool you’re so good at ODM and hand to hand combat, so he often goes to you to help him practice. It’s a good excuse too, just simply saying that you’re the best at the ODM gear and hand to hand combat, (other than mikasa of course, lol), and he just needs help with it! In reality he wants to spend more time with you. I could totally see you being Levi’s favorite as well because you’re quiet and not annoying, but that means you’re likely very competent, and don’t complain ever, and you’re just… not annoying … lol which is cool and I think Jean would like that a lot! Might be a bit intimidated if Levi is protective of you at all to be honest though.

Jean when around a crush, tries to be friendly. He often comes up with excuses to spend time with you, so in general he’s very clingy. However, to many people that know him well, know he takes a special liking to you. It’s pretty obvious, if the constant blushing doesn’t give him away, he’s extremely protective of you in many aspects. Not just when it comes to titans, if somebody was rude to you in the slightest he would absolutely step in to protect you. Jean is always there for you, even if you try to say you’re fine or push him away, he is stubborn and won’t allow it! He’s very good at reading you as well, so he knows if somethings wrong.

When it comes to asking you out, it takes a lot of courage. He takes forever to do so as well, like honestly he could just sit in silence forever about it. Partially because he’s scared of rejection, partially because he’s scared of losing you and that it would be even worse on him if you dated. He’s all red in the face as it happens, and he only did it thanks to Christa, Marco, Connie, Sasha, Armin and Reiner cheering him on. The point is, he’s very nervous, he fumbles over his words as he gets it out, he tries to act confident but he simply can’t.

Sasha adores you! She’s very nice and friendly to you, and is definitely a close friend of yours right off the bat. She tries really hard to bond with people generally, but with a crush even moreso! Since you’re shy, it actually makes things easier since you’re not around many people! She does nice things for you too, like giving you her share of food, certainly something she wouldn’t do for just anyone! She could talk your ear off for hours, so she doesn’t mind if you don’t talk much (but allowing you to get a say in when you want to). She thinks it’s cool you’re good at your ODM gear and hand to hand combat, and probably asks for some pointers every once in awhile. Isn’t like Jean where she uses it as an excuse to spend time with you, because Sasha is much more honest and doesn’t plan things the way he does. Sasha would probably outright say she wants to spend time with you, instead. She does wonder why levi likes you so much, but she can’t blame him since she absolutely adores you!

Around a crush, Sasha can be pretty obvious. As stated before, gives you food! Something she never does! Which should let you know that around a crush, she is giving and generous. She would give you the entire world if she could! She is quite clingy, like Jean. However much more upfront about it, she speaks her mind. Jean is definitely a guy that shows he cares with action, Sasha is moreso “I want to protect you!” sorta deal. I believe she has a crazy amount of trust in you though, especially since you’re so good with your ODM gear and such. So she never doubts your skills, and isn’t over protective in anyway. She just naturally worries something may happen to you but in this line of work that’s not weird to worry about.

When it comes to asking you out, she probably does it early on! She comes to the conclusion she needs to tell you how she feels because anything can happen in this line of work and she doesn’t want any regrets in her life. She wants to tell you way before either of you die. She tells you fairly quickly and doesn’t think much of it? Like she doesn’t care much for being rejected, sure she’d be sad but she’d be happy being your friend anyways! She would be ecstatic if you said yes, and liked her back too of course! But it’s not the end of her world if you said no. She just likes being with you, after all.

Connie definitely talks to you a lot, often striking conversations with you. Usually random, goofy and dumb. Anything he can do to make you laugh! He doesn’t mind that you’re shy in the slightest, he certainly likes to talk a lot so it’s totally cool if you don’t say too much. Sometimes though he asks for you thoughts and opinions on certain things, when it comes to crushes he likes hearing them talk about things, be passionate about things, so he asks you a lot of questions about yourself. He’s a bit of a try hard, so he is buddies with you off the bat and goes the extra mile to make sure you’re comfortable with him. He thinks it’s great you’re good at ODM and hand to hand combat as well, because he could certainly use the extra help. Not that he’s horrendous at it or anything but he would definitely like to one up Jean just to annoy him. He is a little intimated by Levi liking you so much, since he’s kinda clingy with you and loves talking to you.. if Levi is more strict with him because of you being his favorite it’s an annoyance. But I think it’s more likely Levi is more lenient with you, so he’d get to spend more time with you.

As for how he acts around you, I think he tries hard to be friendly, as stated before. I am under the belief Jean and Sasha would ramble about their crush a lot to people, but Connie does it much more often. Pretty much everyone knows he likes you since he talks about it so much, he talks about it to all the guys, and even some of the girls. (Christa and Sasha though really). He goes the extra mile to just make you laugh, even when he’s sad he comforts you in your time of need, and often has these nice talks with you that aren’t goofy and dumb. He talks about you meeting his family and going to his hometown sometime. He’s surprisingly sappy and emotional for somebody who likes you strictly in the platonic sense! Connie is a mixture of Sasha and Jean, where he is a action = words sorta dude, but at the same time would not hesitate to tell you he cares about you a lot.

When he asks you out finally, it’s on his own accord. He takes a very long time, mainly because he’s scared of the outcome. There are many things that can happen, and wouldn’t want t hinge to be awkward between you two. Many of his friends are nagging him about it, but he eventually decides to finally go through with it. He’s quite blushy about it, but that’s the only indication you get about his feelings because he’s so uncharacteristically serious about it, there’s so much emotion in his eyes at the very least. He’s quite scared of rejection to be honest, so he’s really hoping you say yes!

[eosofspades]

OK. NOTES. SO FAR

GHOST CUTSCENE GHOST CUTSCENE i can already tell this is gonna be a ghost centric campaign and its everything i could have ever hoped for

GHOST IS MY FAVORITE OF ALL TIME THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME. YOU DONT GET IT

the second cutscene immediately after that's like a slightly different version of the very first new light one. the fact that they changed his line so when he says "there you are!" he sounds even HAPPIER oh my omfgnfnfnngnbfbf

its almost like a laugh/cry you can FEEL the joy and disbelief and hope in his voice im gonna fuckign ugly cry

city cutscene!! guitar eliksni!!! EXTREMELY UPSETTING WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT. OK

note: keith david is doing an INCREDIBLE job. i almost wouldn't have noticed it wasn't lance reddick. all the props to him for this 10/10

THE BIRD VISION IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND THE INSIDE OF THE TRAVELER IS SO GORGEOUS I SWEAR I STARTED CRYING

the giant ghosts like theyre part of the earth here ohdkfhushfnfngbgbfb THIS IS EVERYTHING

the pale heart is so so fucking pretty i want to live here forever. i have a lot of thoughts about the primoridal garden from unveiling and how it's allegorical to the mythology of eden but all i have rn is that this is more beautiful than anything i imagined. they captured the ethereal permeating magic of the light here SO WELL (which is SO impressive considering there's city architecture here!! it still feels mystical and otherworldly . im so in love)

the way that ghost TALKS. he sounds so happy and so relieved and it's so SWEET to hear him so overjoyed and full of faith

especially after the witch queen - questioning the traveler, the nature of the ghosts, the goodness of the light - and after lightfall - everything that happened with the witness, constantly saying he feels sick and wrong and like he shouldn't be here and he's being disconnected from the light - NOW, to hear him so overjoyed at how PURE everything feels, saying that being here feels familiar; guys he's home and im sobbing

AND THE PRISMATIC POWER!!!!! i domt have much to say on this im still having a very hard time figuring it out BUT. HES HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME AHDKDHSJDHS

it is such a joy to go from beyond light (him insisting this power is BAD and he's afraid of it), and then to strand (him being more accepting but still wary and unsure), to THIS - him IMMEDIATELY going "can you use this?" and then "WE CAN USE THIS WE ARE SO POWERFUL THIS IS GREAT" I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AHDKSHSJB

LET HIM FUCK THE ENEMY UP IVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOREVER. LET HIM GO UNGOVERNABLE FOR A BIT HE DESERVES IT

and CAYDE

CAYDE

no notes no thoughts im just in tears. ill elaborate later probably

i do LOVE him flinging the harmonica at the guardian as a distraction and ALSO them catching it. that was just. such a good moment all around

also i will admit i was hoping we'd get other guardians who've died and "returned to light" (WHAT FORESHADOWING. WHAT A WAY TO HINT AT THIS FROM FOREVER AGO) when we were far enough away to see only the cloak i WILL admit. i was tentatively hoping they'd totally trick us and it would be andal brask

oh girl one mission in and im already fucking sobbing

[dreamsclock]

Mutually assured destruction but due to months of torture and being dead, Dream & Wilbur have forgotten how to do the whole “villain” thing. What will they do today? Egg someone’s house? Blow up an entire nation out of spite? Sleep in all day? Nobody knows. Somehow, this is more terrifying.

THIS IS SUCH A FUN IDEA ANON AHHHHHHHH,,,, god just both of their perceptions of what “evil” is being so fuckign skewed after going through hell DKFKJFN, there’s something so funny in that and i had to write it (i can’t help myself when i get an ask talking about mutually assured destruction duo lol)

warnings: death, explosions, Unspeakable Evil (last one is a /j)

“I think today,” Wilbur says contemplatively, “we should do something evil.”

Dream quirks an eyebrow at him from his hunched position in the corner. “You say this every day.”

“I mean it.” Wilbur is on his feet in an instant, eyes bright behind his glasses, cold and gleaming and wild. “I mean, I mean it all the time, every time I say it, but more so today. Today is a perfect day for villainy, don’t you think?”

Glancing outside and wincing behind his mask at the sight of the weather, Dream eyes his partner-in-crime-and-chaos in uncertainty. “I mean,” he hedges, “I guess?”

Wilbur rolls his eyes, tugging Dream up from his seat and into another room, coat fluttering behind him, Dream stumbling at the suddenness of it all. “Dream, man, sometimes it takes you a while to sink into this, and that’s okay,” he tells him, “but this is what we’re going to do today, because I have a plan. All you have to do is listen to me and we can pull off something magnificent. Are you listening?”

When Dream nods, Wilbur’s smile grows, stretches, into something crueller.

“Good. Alright, so here’s the plan.”

He pulls out a bed, and then another, placing them two blocks away from each other and promptly climbing into one of them. Dream watches him in stunned confusion.

“Wil-”

“The plan is simple, Dream,” Wilbur tells him thickly, already half-asleep, “it’s too fucking cold to do anything, and we’re all booked up tomorrow for villainy because we’re blowing up Snowchester, so today, we’re going back to sleep.”

Dream furrows his brow, looking incredibly uncertain. “I don’t know,” he says, half in protest, “I mean, we woke up two hours ago, it’s not exactly like we need the sleep. I want to go out. It’s been forever since we were out.”

Wilbur sighs, sitting up and pinning his friend with a very firm look. “Dream Wastaken, if that is your last name-”

“It’s not. What the hell kind of last name is Wastaken?”

“Dream Manhunt,” Wilbur corrects himself, smirking when Dream doesn’t retort back, “I broke you out of prison five weeks ago. We have been up to unspeakable evil for five whole weeks, and although this might be our worst crime yet, I think we can pull it off.”

“But sleeping in the middle of the afternoon?” Dream says, horrified. “Where the hell are our morals?”

Wilbur grins, expression nasty. “That’s the good thing about villainy, Dream. You don’t have to ask yourself hard little questions like that. Now come on,” he adds, laying back down and curling up with a yawn, “we don’t have all day. Let’s get this over and done with, yeah?”

Still half-unconvinced, Dream lies down, but yeah, okay, this is a good idea, he thinks, hit with a wave of sudden tiredness: they had been up late figuring out the best way to destroy Tubbo’s little village town, and they could do with the extra sleep, it’s true. “Yeah,” he mumbles, breathing beginning to even out, “yeah, good idea.”

Wilbur smirks. “Told you,” he says, before he’s out like a light, sprawled across the bed comfortably.

It doesn’t take Dream much longer to follow him, eyes flickering closed behind his mask and features relaxing. They spend most of the day like that - unresponsive, dead to the world, bodies still recuperating after immense bouts of death and torture.

When they wake, they blow up Snowchester.

(And after that, they do worse: they break in to Niki’s bakery and steal half her stock, even leaving too much money behind in order to pay. “She won’t know what to do with herself,” Wilbur says gleefully, while Dream grins evilly, “she’ll be terrified.”)

(Niki is less terrified than bemused when she comes back to dozens of netherite and diamond blocks stacked in a chest with a smiley face note that says THANK YOU NIKI :) on one side, but she isn’t going to complain. Instead, she takes note of the food they’d taken, rolls her eyes with a half-fond snort, and decides it’s wise to bake more of them, just in case the two ever wake up and decide to come back.)

[bigboobyhalo]

for the character thing, how about purple or skepp?

PURPLED:

Sexuality Headcanon: straight but like. an epic ally. but also I can literally hear him saying that he’s activating his bi boy swag so ... idk

Gender Headcanon: nonbinary and uses he/it 💜

A ship I have with said character: none 😊

A BROTP I have with said character: him and hannah!!! the BEDWARS BOND MOTHERFUCKERRRRSSSS!!!!!!! also he hangs out with c!boomer’s ghost

A NOTP I have with said character: him and anyone. idk. it just doesn’t feel right

A random headcanon: he invented alexandria’s genesis in the dsmp universe as an excuse for why he has purple eyes

General opinion over said character: literally invented swag. I think it’s suuuuuch a fun character. little fucking guy who likes UFOs and its only friend is its swag dog

SKEPPY:

Sexuality Headcanon: bendy

Gender Headcanon: skeppy

A ship I have with said character: c!skephalo drives me absolutely fucking insane I could talk abt it forever

A BROTP I have with said character: HIM AND TECHNO I may not like c!techno but the idea of him and skeppy being friends is soooo funny. like skeppy rlly just attracts gigantic hoofed creatures from hell. they see him and they’re like OMG its a guy

A NOTP I have with said character: uhhh I literally haven’t seen him paired with anyone but bad. anyway him paired with anyone but bad

A random headcanon: you already KNOWS he’s got the diamond shell with the meat and flesh on the inside!!!! also him and bad met in the nether when bad saved him from falling into lava :)

General opinion over said character: I FUCKIGN LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE’S GENUINELY SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER AND HE’S SO UNDERRATED EVERYONE ACTS LIKE HE’S NOT A CHARACTER EVEN AFTER HE LITERALLY SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR HIS FRIENDS. I COULD TALK ABOUT C!SKEPPY FOREVER IF YOU DON’T LIKE C!SKEPPY UR LEGIT MISSING OUT SOOO MUCH

/rp

[lightrises]

"Only in allowing her to pass..." — Hornet, The Radiance, and the means by which Hallownest turned its victims against each other

A quick note: I read Hollow Knight as an anti-colonialist text. As such I'll be touching on topics related to colonialism as it's depicted in the world of the game, and said analysis will reflect both a sympathetic take on The Radiance and a critique of The Pale King that won't pull its punches. If this sounds up your alley, hello and thank you for the read! Let us be sad about these bugs together.

———

So!! A while back I realized something about pre-canon that felt rather... "curious" is one way to put it, I think. To wit: for all the effort and scheming and determination The Pale King poured into trying to get rid of The Radiance, neither of his plans involved directly killing her.

Was that his long game? Well, sure, that seems clear enough. His tack changed from luring the moths away from their god and creator to a more literal form of incarceration once the infection became a factor, but at its core the end goal never really changed—The Pale King very sincerely wished to destroy Radiance via obsolescence. The Seer lends us foreshadowing to confirm as much:

[Image descriptions: Two screenshots from Hollow Knight, showing the Seer and Ghost in the Seer's alcove at the Resting Grounds. Across both screenshots, the Seer tells Ghost the following: "None of us can live forever, and so we ask those who survive to remember us. Hold something in your mind and it lives on with you, but forget it and you seal it away forever. That is the only death that matters." End description.]

(Which, by the way and given the context, talk about an extremely unsubtle allusion to cultural genocide huh!!! Whew.)

In any case, we're left with a whole bunch of machinations which build up to... well, two very roundabout attempts at committing deicide. That's kind of weird, all things considered! Why not just do the deed in one fell swoop and get it over with?

This could be for any number of reasons. Maybe the king was devoid of the means to instantly kill another higher being. Maybe his personal sense of scruples stopped him short of signing off on MURDER murder (although, y'know, the aforementioned genocide + eternal imprisonment = still cool and copasectic apparently!). Maybe the long drawn-out cruelty was the point. Maybe the idea of playing fuckign 4D chess with the circumstances was too delicious for him to pass up—that man did love to tinker and stick his claws where they sure as hell didn't belong—or maybe it was a little bit of All The Things. Who knows!!

But interrogating The Pale King's methodology on this count isn't what I'm here for, at least not really. The main reason I raise this question at all is that in her own way, Hornet did too.

"I'd urge you to take that harder path... "

See, going by The Pale King's actions and what The White Lady explicitly says, they both foresaw two outcomes wrt the infection: it can be allowed to spread, or it can be contained. At Teacher's Archives, Quirrel acknowledges the fact that Ghost is expected to do... something about this, but he doesn't elaborate on what HE thinks that's supposed to be apart from the obvious "Gotta bust into Black Egg Temple first". Hornet is the one person who presents to us—to Ghost—what's framed as a third option: confront and destroy the infection at its source.

And she doesn't bring it up like it's just another tactic for Ghost to consider, prim and indifferent to what they would do. She nudges them towards it, actively, up to the point where she throws herself into the fray against Hollow at a juncture that's uniquely dangerous to her and her alone just to make that option feasible.

Even when she's couching it in disclaimers that this is still Ghost's decision to make (and let's be fair, she's extremely not wrong about that lol), no one can pretend Hornet is unbiased. It's obvious in that buttoned-down Hornet kind of way that she is way the hell done with the increasingly tenuous stalemate that's kept Hallownest's desiccated corpse from collapsing in on itself. Personally it's hard for me not to read some Toriel Undertale-esque "My father was too entrenched in his own foolishness to pursue any course of action that would have DEFINITIVELY ended this" shade into her stance here, regardless of whether that's strictly true in canon.

And that bit—Hornet's hopes for an end to Hallownest's stasis, moreover her grim calculation of what needs to be done to get there—that's the bit I find super interesting but likewise tragic and depressing as shit, on multiple levels. In no small part because a) canon itself gestures towards Hornet feeling conflicted about the very plan she's pushing, and moreover b) she has at least two (2) damn good reasons to feel that way.

So, what do I mean by that? Let's look here first:

[Image description: A screenshot from Hollow Knight, of Hornet and Ghost inside the Temple of the Black Egg, standing in front of the unsealed egg itself. Hornet has been struck by the Dream Nail and her dialogue is displayed as follows: "... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?" End description.]

As the curtain is about to drop on things one way or another, Hornet thinks,

... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?

Now, looking at that last bit it's easy to go "Oh no, Hornet's worried that Ghost won't survive killing The Radiance!" And I do think that's part of it: Hornet is, categorically, not her father. By endgame it's clear she's not content to view her Void-borne siblings as tools to be used then disposed of. She's also well aware that as a healthy autonomous Vessel amongst the countless dead, Ghost is the only person left alive who has a fighting chance against The Radiance. Knowing someone is the only qualified candidate for the job doesn't make encouraging them to embrace a probable death sentence any less of a bitter pill to swallow, though. And odds are on that this sentiment extends to Hollow too, who IS going to die no matter what happens here. To put it bluntly, it's more than reasonable to conclude that Hornet hates the absolute fuck out of this.

But I don't think that's all there is to it either. Remember what I said earlier about The Pale King's bids for genocide? Well, it's not like the man deigned to limit his efforts to just the moth tribe.

"We do not choose our mothers... "

On top of everything else—an infected Hallownest being all she's ever known, the fact that she only exists because of the infection, the list goes on—Hornet has spent her life wedged into a position that's been uncomfortable and terminally unglamorous at best: she is both a daughter of her father's kingdom and of Deepnest.

Deepnest, which like the moths and many others was here long before the wyrm and his lady wife swanned onto the scene and the God Become Bug laid claim to everything the Light touched plus a considerable amount of change. THAT Deepnest, which has fought claw and thread to retain its sovereignty against same-said settler king, and for which Herrah not only surrendered her life but also agreed to bed her worst enemy, all in hopes of securing a viable future for her people (put a pin in that last part by the way, I'll come back to it soon).

Two Worlds, One Family (Ft. An Indigenous Woman Trying Her Damndest To Work With What She's Got Versus An Imperialist Who Only Signed Up For This Because He Needed The Political Favor THAT Badly, So It's The Height Of Dysfunctional Actually). Fun times!!!!

The baggage this entails for Hornet is gnarly enough without implications made by The White Lady and the pre-canon timeline of events and even Team Cherry's dev notes that the king may well have looked at baby Hornet, gone "YOINK", then ensured she spent the lion's share of her childhood reared within the pearly auspices of his Pale Court*. That would be rather advantageous for Him Specifically after all, the potential to mold a born foe into a future ally and even have her trained in combat under the same tutelage as her doomed sibling. And far be it from him to stop a grown Hornet—his own flesh and blood too!—from making Deepnest her forever home if she so pleased. He totally wouldn't be reneging on his "fair bargain made" by doing this one simple thing until Hornet came of age, not t e c h nic c a l l y.

If that is indeed the case, there's a non-zero chance Hornet's formative years were a hot mess of cultural alienation and being a good deal more privy than most to just how much of a bastard her father could be. There's an equally non-zero chance that at some point she stood or sat within earshot as The Pale King finally, finally dropped all pretense and euphemism to name the Light for precisely what (for who) it was.

See, in conjunction with the question that started this whole dang train of thought I've been asking this one too: Does Hornet know? When she speaks of confronting "the heart of [the] infection" does she know she's talking about not just a literal person but someone very specific? The Radiance, who god though she may be shares skin in the game alongside Hornet as a native woman screwed over by the same settler king, likewise deprived of her kin and saddled with a life gone horrendously pear-shaped?

I'll assume for the sake of exploring the possibility and because I think it's a likely one anyway that yes, Hornet does know. She knows, and despite everything can't help empathizing. She might even look at Radiance and see bits and pieces both reflected and slightly inversed in her own mother: Radiance was forced to the sidelines while her people—her children, the brood she was meant to lead and care for—died out under The Pale King's rule, and it's no stretch to assume she's at least as upset about that as she has been about everything else; Herrah too took drastic measures for her people's sake, trying to head off annihilation by relegating herself to the sidelines in an act that was as much calculated risk as an attempt to find wiggle room and leverage in the face of a nasty proposition.

A calculated risk that, if things continue as they are, might well amount to nothing as the rest of Deepnest gets eaten alive by the infection. It survived The Pale King's advances for so so long, only to fall here. Herrah's sacrifice would be for naught; the other tribes—themselves the king's victims—would keep succumbing to the infection too.

And this is where things fall apart.

"... or the circumstance into which we are born."

Let's be clear: I think Hornet is wise enough to know what's what here, that all the carnage and suffering falls on her father's head for starting this slow-motion trainwreck in the first place. Hallownest wasn't always Hallownest. This domain was Radiance's home first, along with many others. It was the worm-turned-king who rolled up on the scene unsolicited and decided this was a ""'problem""" that had to be """solved""".

But the fact of the matter is that he's gone and The Radiance is here, raging, seemingly inconsolable. Above and beyond being Deepnest's rightful heir, Hornet isn't in a position to countenance more splash damage even if the grief and fury fueling it makes perfect sense. She can understand without ever bringing herself to love Radiance, and she can bend her knee to practicality even if she hates the everloving shit out of it because the fact that it "has" to end this way isn't fair.

This lends itself to one last awful conclusion: that Hornet has probably considered and (rightly or wrongly) discarded the possibility that Radiance can be saved, at least not without dragging more collateral along for the ride. If even her mother and every other enemy to the king seemed to dismiss talking Radiance down as an option way back when... well. Why should Hornet hope for any better after things have escalated so far?

Again, it's practical. A practical net good is what Hornet strives for. And again, it fucking sucks.

For extra tragedy points, this makes Hornet's extended crypticness around Ghost followed by her last minute casting about for a reason to tell them "Wait, don't; not just yet" that she never voices even more of a gut punch. She can't bring herself to burden Ghost with the context that haunts her so, least of all when it might weaken their resolve to go through with what (she thinks) needs doing.

It's the "same song, different verse" which led to the mantis tribe and Deepnest being pitted against each other: Hallownest rigged the game so that two women who could have been powerful allies—who have a mutual vested interest in driving out settler rule—wound up poised as enemies instead. And how awful is that? The king for all his being extremely fucking dead still gets the last laugh, because outside of a miracle the game never manifests Hornet can salvage what her mother started and look forward to a future where Deepnest pulls itself back from the brink if and only if The Radiance dies.

Resolution comes at the price of a completed genocide. Add two more dead siblings to the unconscionable pile thereof, while we're at it. That's what it boils down to whether or not Hornet can bear to articulate it as such, and there's no grace or even a properly bittersweet ending to wring from this clusterfuck. And that is rough.

———

* This has been better explained elsewhere, but a quick rundown: The White Lady tells Ghost that Hornet and Herrah "were permitted little time together." On its surface this can be taken to mean that Hornet was still very young when Herrah was shipped off to Eternal Dreamland—except this doesn't jive with the fact that we meet Hornet as an adult. If the stasis kicked in once the Dreamers went to their rest, which in turn halted the aging process for every living bug in Hallownest, AND before all this Hornet experienced little by the way of quality time with her birth mother... I think you can see where I'm going with this.

To top it off we've got Team Cherry weighing in ominously from their dev notes on Herrah: "As part of the agreement for her alliance and her role as a dreamer, King gave her a child (Hornet). Was she allowed to keep this child or was she taken away?" This isn't confirmation by itself of course, but given additional canon details (see above): Can I get a "yikes" in the chat fellas.

[drabbles-mc]

mj, between this and angel/tati, i hope you're ready to pay for my pinche therapy bills because I'm fucking UNWELL, bitch!!!!!!!!

Her grand plan to make amends, went as smoothly as every other plan she’s had lately—which is not smooth at all, forever doomed to tip into something like disaster, apparently. -> That's my girl. 😌

‘What’s this?’ he asks, voice breaking the silence. Deep, and sleep-trodden, from the step above her. ‘Some sort of reverse robbery?’ -> I can hear him and already it's so sexy sksksksk this man is a worm in my brain i simply cannot be normal about him

‘I brought Tequila too.’ -> My girl ready for a fuckin PARTY let's GO! 😂

‘I’m very familiar with leading prospects astray.’ -> Oh fuck meeee MJ my eyes are already so huge at this. Like. I know where this is going I'm gnawing my fucking face off

‘But, I also think you were really, really, dumb—’ / ‘I thought this was an apology,’ he laughs, frowning through it. / ‘It is—shut up—you were really dumb for laying it on me there when I was already in a fucking weird headspace.’ / His brows dip again, but the smile lingers. The t-shirt settles around him. ‘And you’re sorry because…I was dumb?’ -> shhhhhhh no I'm not copy/pasting all of your fucking dialogue that's not happening at all I don't know what you're talking about. BUT THIS?????? This shit right here????? So fucking good. I can hear them, see them, move them around in the dollhouse inside my brain. This is so tangibly on point for them I could scream if it wasn't almost midnight and it wouldn't be obnoxious for me to do so

No but why am I fucking cackling over the fact that they are experiencing the reality of EZ's camper being a fucking camper. Why is that sending me into fits right now 😂😂 Maybe because I never see it in fic, really, this humorous little slice of reality. Delicious. I love it. I'm framing it and hanging it up on my wall.

‘Oh, wow,’ her eyes roll, ‘I’m so sorry I didn’t break the bank for our peace-keeping drinks.’ -> mj I love herrrr I love her so much!!!!! Me vs. Wanting to kiss all of your OCs on the mouth with tongue 😂😂😂😂

Her new favourite way to drink, cooped up on EZ’s three-part mattress. -> I'm hyperventilating enough to trigger my fucking asthma I swear to god

‘Now you just gotta times it by like, a thousand, and tell the guys to stop being so fucking weird.’ -> See, Ezekiel???? This is a MUCH more fitting time and setting to be having this discussion. Like I know they went over it but GOD it's so fucking true lmao

There was no Sebastian looming over her shoulder when she spoke to EZ, no old friendship that she had to be respectful of. Just her, just him. A clean slate had never felt so fucking good. -> Oh? That strange sound in the dead of the night??? It's not an escaped howler monkey. Tis I! Losing my shit over these two!!!!!

‘Honestly? Probably something like…’ She looks down, fiddling with her hands. ‘Never mind.’ / No, what? Don’t do that,’ EZ bursts, grinning around the complaints. ‘You can’t do that.’ -> Okay no but I'm with EZ on this one. That's one thing I can't fucking handle. If you're gonna start a sentence!!! You gotta fucking finish it!!!!! You gotta tell me!!!!

‘Y’know, I can tell Angel to make a move, if it’ll make you feel better?’ A snort comes out of him, head shaking lightly. -> I'm fucking LOSING IT. This man is sending me to the goddamn moon. I can fuckign HEAR HIMMMM, MJ!!!! I feel like I keep repeating that but I don't care because it keeps being true!!! Little smug-ass boy!!!!!!!

‘You’re obviously, you know.’ -> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It feels smaller, suddenly. One room, one bed. -> You gotta give me a second where i feel like I can fucking breathe. I've been holding my breath for hours now, dude. I'm gonna keel over.

‘I’m game,’ he says. -> THERE IT IS!!!! THERE IT FUCKING IS!!!!!! THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT I'M GOING ON A FUCKIGN RAMPAGE!!!!!!!!

‘When have I ever said I feel sorry for you, Ava?’ -> God the way everything this man does makes me swoon. I'm clinically unwell.

He kisses her once to test the waters; one hand to the side of her jaw, his lips gentle, careful even. When she doesn’t pull back, or screw up with regret, and guilt, the way he must have expected her to do, he goes again, harder, keener. -> I feel like I'm going through an evolution reading this fic. Reaching my final form etcetc

I was This FUcking Close to just copy/pasting the entire last part of this fic. But I shan't. You know what you wrote and now I need yOUUUUUU to know that I"m fucking disrupted over this. Over them. Fucking Hell. What a bedtime story. I don't. I don't know. I don't know what to do with myself now besides daydream about these two. I have. I have thoughts and feelings and i can't find words for any of them because you took them all from me to make this story. Criminal. Criminal activity. I love you please don't stop writing ever

in his shadow - pt. 3

ez reyes x oc: ava gomez, 3426 words

warnings for alcohol usage and mild steaminess, 18+

for day 19 of whumpril: ‘i’m worried about you’

a/n: ok. mi gente, mi compas. this had all the intentions of being whump and angst and then. i dont know what happened. im so sorry to the whumpril creators but my brain said we flirting today and thats all i could do. anyway HUGE eyes at this development

tagging: @drabbles-mc @cositapreciosa​ my ez ladies 

previous part here

Her grand plan to make amends, went as smoothly as every other plan she’s had lately—which is not smooth at all, forever doomed to tip into something like disaster, apparently. She’d pulled up to EZ’s trailer undetected at first, which filled her with confidence that this would work. Had managed to get half the weights from her trunk, to the spot just beside his door, without too much noise as well. It was all going perfectly, really, until she dropped the last dumbbell onto one of the others, sending the pair of them clattering to the ground.

He didn’t burst out like she thought he might’ve, gun in hand and ready for assault, so she carried on with her mission regardless. Scooped the lighter one first, put it back into place. Turned her attention again to the one that stretched her arms out tight, too heavy, really, for her to be lifting at all.

Her dedication to correcting the mistake made her miss the door opening, made her oblivious to EZ standing in the frame of it now, half-dressed and rubbing his eyes.  

‘What’s this?’ he asks, voice breaking the silence. Deep, and sleep-trodden, from the step above her. ‘Some sort of reverse robbery?’

Keep reading

[boognish-worshipper]

Remember the Rain

praying this is the final part of “Sunrise, Sunset” by the time i’m done omg ,, lamar finally talks it out with frank. i was tryna keep the titles consistent with a sky theme? wasn’t sure what to name this one at first, but i settled on naming it after a i song that i felt was sorta fitting lol ,, also lamar’s dramatic when drunk, that’s jus how it’s gonna be

oh and i included one last convo w/ that psychic lady bc each character got three opportunities to speak to her lol

//

The night Franklin and him fought was the third night in a row Lamar couldn’t sleep right. Then it became four. Then five. Six. He had hoped after the first couple days of Franklin being mad, that it’d all blow over and things would go back to normal. That he wouldn’t ever have to say anything about what he felt deep down. Even though he told himself he had to, he wouldn’t. He waited it out, and still hoped it would all just fucking blow over. That wasn’t what happened of course.

An overcast sky was spread over LS, light rain tapping against Lamar’s window. As cheesy as it was, it reflected how he felt. Another day had passed. Franklin wasn’t picking up, not even reading his texts, nothing. He called a couple times at first when the fourth day of the silent treatment occurred, then tried a few more times to contact him in the following days. It had grown into a long and sad string of texts.

franklin.

dog

plz

pick up

answer me

plz?

c’mon frank i told you i have nothin goin on with yo auntie

i wanna talk things out with you.

u ain’t let me finish explaining

text me when u read this. plz bro

He sighed. This was hopeless. He set his phone aside, still laying awake. A buzz came right after. Fucking finally, something.

fuck you

we got nothin to discuss

He didn’t know how to feel. This was fucking him up and he couldn’t think straight. He tried calling him once more, the ringing as he waited for a pick up mocking him. Voicemail yet again. How many messages had he tried leaving at this point?

for fucks sake frank pick up

u ain’t doin this to me rn

jus let me explain myself

He stared at the ceiling yet again, like it would have all the answers sprawled out for him. As he did, he focused on how the rain had picked up, coming down harder. Then he felt his phone buzz.

no

now stop blowing my phone up

i’m tryna sleep

Lamar was never one to be sensitive, but he felt so crushed right now that all he could do was cry silently to himself. He didn’t even have Chop around anymore to comfort him like he normally would whenever Lamar was going through something. Would he even see him again? He lived over at Frank’s now. Fuck. Did this mean they’d have to share custody now? If he wasn’t so upset, he most likely would’ve laughed at the idea of it. He was letting bad thoughts consume him, turning to a last minute resort of drinking to try stopping it. This kind of thing rarely happened to him, these kind of feelings weren’t common. He knew no other method of trying to stuff bad feelings down, working through a 6 pack of beer on his own, followed by a bottle of some type of random liquor. Anything to stifle the pain in his chest, although it didn’t accomplish much other than making him feel even more queasy. He left one last voicemail, choking back a sob. Or what he had thought would be the last one. He lost count.

“Franklin. Please jus’ talk to me already man. You- you believin’ what you wanna believe right now, you ain’t even givin’ me a chance. You my best fuckin’ friend, don’t that mean shit to you anymore? We.. homies n shit.” He sniffled, cringing to himself when he said the words “best friend”. Franklin was so much more than that to him.

“Ion… Ion think I can live without you in my life. You can’t hate me man that shit.. that’s fucked. This is fucked. I’m fucked.”

A strong feeling of humiliation hung around him for many reasons, one being that he was fully crying now, over the phone. He couldn’t get any lower.

“You jus’ mad right now. But you.. you won’t be, eventually. Right? Please get back to me soon. Please. I’d rather fuckin’.. die or sum’ than have you hatin’ me n shit. At this point I might as well.”

After hanging up, he decided to visit that site one last time. His tears blurred his vision, making it harder to type. The shit in his system didn’t help either.

lady

i fuckef up

thsi is yo faukt

What now? Why are you back?

frankljn hates me

He does? That’s not right.

damn straighy it fuckign isnt

No, I mean that’s not correct.

There’s no way that he could, even if it seems like it right now.

jus fuckin tell me whst to do

That’s out of my hands.

is not u fuckin wirch

*withc

*witch

Look, I really don’t know how else to help you. I don’t have any other visions to offer. You’re on your own.

They do say though, that dreams are visions themselves.

dont fukcin speak in riddles rn

Precognition, Lamar. Just have faith

prewhatnow

n yeah. faith. bc that helps so fuckn much

All I can say to you is good luck - it’s all coming together. Just wait.

th fuck does that mean?

It means that you’re stressing too much - you better sleep it off. Farewell Lamar. You’re gonna have a killer hangover you know…

SERVICE UNAVAILABLE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.

The notification did nothing but make him more upset. He calmed down eventually, the crying and alcohol tiring him out. He blacked out soon after, not remembering when he fell asleep.

For the first time in a while, he dreamt about the two of them. The start of the dream showed a radiant sight before them, the sky lit up in a million shades. Chop was laying beside Franklin, head on his thigh. All three of them sat on a grassy knoll, a soft breeze blowing through each blade. Franklin turned, Lamar not taking his eyes off him since the dream started. He only noticed the sky’s wide color palette because the intensity struck Franklin’s face just right. He looked right into Lamar’s eyes, speaking softly.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“What?”

“You had so many opportunities. So many times, I thought that you would. I got my hopes up, you know. I waited. When Tanisha left.. I only had you.”

“Tanisha..”

“I still love her. I.. I think apart of me always will, but I love you just the same. Even if you drive me up a Goddamn wall sometimes. You both mean the world to me.”

Franklin looked back at the view ahead. A heavenly indigo replaced the vivid hues from before.

“But she’s gone now. Shit ain’t the same. All I know is you stayed when she didn’t. Even when she got pulled outta the hood and made some kinda new life for herself, you never left my side. Never changed yo loyalties.”

He turned back to face Lamar again. His eyes were glassy, the glow of the midnight sky reflecting in them.

“So why didn’t you say somethin’ sooner?”

“Franklin.. I ain’t deduce that shit ‘til now.“

“You really didn’t know?”

Even in the dream he could feel that previous frustration occur in his mind. Was he hiding in a glass closet or something? He could only let out a wry laugh.

“Yeah man. I was a fuckin�� fool, jus’ like you always said.”

“Damn straight.” He chuckled, and Lamar came to the conclusion that he could listen to that laugh forever. Franklin’s face then fell solemn.

“Y’know I really thought that.. I really thought that you jus’ got with someone else. Not even jus’ my Aunt. I saw how you wanted to get away from me, and I thought…” He stopped himself, petting Chop’s head.

“I.. wanted to be happy if you was, but the thought of that at all bothered me.”

“Why?”

“Cuz you were all I had, dog. Mike n Trevor, they have their own lives, their own history n shit. I can’t always rely on them. Denise don’t give a fuck what happen to me. You my lifeline dog, I’ve known you for years. I didn’t want you to forget me over a chick or sum’. That day you acted all different n shit, it worried me.”

“Hey man, y’know I ain’t ever gon pull that shit on you. I’m with you for life.”

“Then don’t pull other kinda stupid shit on me.”

“Whatchu mean?”

“You can’t ever die on me bro. That ain’t how this shit works.”

“Ay man, I don’t plan on dying jus’ yet. Not unless yo ass by my side. Not ‘til I tell you I…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

Franklin got closer to his face, cupping his cheek. His eyes shone as the stars around them fell from the sky, akin to raindrops, hitting them. Everything about him was flooding Lamar’s senses, and it felt surreal, between his aroma and all the other things he loved about Franklin. Golden flecks covered them both, and the stars continued to crash down. The sky was growing darker than before.

“Just say the words Lamar. Say them and this shit’ll be over.”

“How?”

“Well first you need to wake yo ass up.”

“Huh?”

“I said wake up, fool!”

Lamar’s blissful dream had been interrupted by an unknown figure shaking him, literal raindrops hitting his face. He was still bleary eyed, only seeing a vague silhouette in front of him. A wet slap to the face rattled his brain around, the hangover settling in. Shit, was he still drunk? What time was it?

“Lamar! Get up!”

“Oh.. Th’fuck? Who- who that is?” He grunted out.

“It’s me you fuckin’ clown!”

“Frank?”

“Who the fuck else?”

“Why are you-”

He was abruptly yanked out of bed, thudding to the floor with a small “oof”.

“Get up you punk bitch!”

“Franklin what the fuck-”

He was grabbed again, tossed back onto his bed. Franklin straddled him, shaking Lamar by the collar.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He said, Lamar getting another slap to the face.

“What in the fresh fuck is you talkin’-” Another slap.

“15 fuckin’ missed phone calls! 15! Are you fuckin’ nuts?!”

Lamar’s eyes practically popped out of his head. 15? What the fuck did he say to him?

“I did what-”

Franklin shook him even harder by his shirt, stretching the material out. He was straining his voice now.

“You had me worried like fuckin’ crazy! I thought you was in some sorta fuckin’ trouble again! You blew my phone up when I told yo ass not to, and then didn’t fuckin’ pick up after I heard the first couple special messages you left me!”

Oh God. This was it. He told Franklin everything, didn’t he? The color drained from his face.

“Oh fuck me..” He mumbled, putting a hand over his eyes.

“What?!” Franklin yelled, shaking him again. Lamar’s head was pounding.

“Franklin.. what.. what I say on there? I barely remember a thing, let alone callin’ yo ass.”

“You seriously don’t fuckin’ remember?!”

“Yeah. Seriously, man.”

Franklin slid off of him, putting a palm to his face. He breathed through his nose hard, trying to calm down. Lamar realized he was drenched from the small downpour outside. Pellets of rain thumped against the window as a reminder that the storm never went away.

“You.. fuck, man. You started sayin’ all this shit about how bad a fuckin’ friend you was. That you, you was hidin’ all this shit and couldn’t live another day without tellin’ me.”

Okay. Good. He didn’t tell him the truth.

“You told me you wanted to die dog. Didn’t realize yo dumbass was safe n sound asleep in yo fuckin’ bed.”

“Oh.”

“…’Oh’? Is that really all you have to say?!”

“F, I was jus’ drunk. It was dumb of me, I know, but I.. It’s nothing, okay?”

“Don’t do this shit to me man! I’ve already dealt with enough of yo fuckin’ schemes n shit-”

“Frank.”

“It’s 3 am! You had Chop barkin’ his Goddamn head off the whole night!”

“Franklin.”

“Then I race my ass over here to find yo drunkass self passed out in bed-”

“Franklin.”

“What! What?! You finally gonna put yo two cents in for once?”

“Stop yelling. My head hurts like a bitch right now.”

“Good! I’m fuckin’ glad because I know mine does as well you fuckin’ asshole!”

Lamar looked pathetically up at him. This was getting out of hand. He let it go on for too long.

“Why did you come here then?” He croaked.

“Because you were fuckin’ sobbin’ into the phone! All I heard was you cryin’ like mad fuckin’ crazy and it scared me. You don’t ever do that shit, not even when you fucked up.”

“How much I say?”

“I got the first message pretty fuckin’ clear, the rest was jus’ incoherent bullshit. I barely got through the second one before speedin’ on over. You sounded hurt n shit, I thought something happened. I thought you was a goner.”

“No weird shit though right? I ain’t say nothin’ bad?”

“What? Lamar, what the fuck are you on about? I just told you what yo ass cried out to me! I couldn’t even understand any of the other messages!”

“Okay, okay. That’s.. good I guess.”

“That’s good? Fuckin’ hell, why did I come here? You- ugh!”

“Franklin. Can you jus’ sit down before you pop a fuckin’ blood vessel? You stressin’ for nothin’.”

If anything, Lamar should be the one stressing right now. He had been so close to confessing without knowing. Franklin sat next to him, arms crossed.

“Franklin.”

“What.”

“I’m sorry that I scared you. I didn’t mean to.”

“Well good fuckin’ job, you accomplished that real well didn’t you.” He said, sarcastically applauding him.

“I thought you were cutting me off for good homie. You think I was gon’ let that happen?”

“Lamar, that still ain’t a good reason to freak me out like that in the middle of the night.”

“It’s only cuz you hadn’t been listenin’ to me bro. I’ve been wanting to tell you somethin’ so badly lately and I never.. got the chance.”

“Then do pray fuckin’ tell LD, what the fuck is so important that you had to do this shit to me at 3 AM!”

“Franklin man, c’mon-”

“No! Don’t start!”

Franklin stood, heading for the door as he spoke. He stopped in the threshold.

“Tell me what the fuck is goin’ on with you, or I’m leavin’ yo sad ass here to wallow. I mean it L.”

“Don’t be like that. Please man. I want to, but I-”

“Jus’ fuckin’ tell me! Why won’t you tell me?!”

“Frank-”

“I dragged my ass all the way over here for nothin’ didn’t I? You ain’t dead, you ain’t sayin’ shit, you jus’ bein’ so- ugh! Fuck!” He threw his hands up, exiting Lamar’s bedroom.

“I’m done man, fuck this.”

“Franklin wait- don’t go-” He pleaded.

Franklin did nothing but leave him stranded again, thunder rolling far in the distance. Lamar ran after him as he walked out the door, hearing the rain heavily hit the pavement. His mind was racing far ahead of him. Franklin was leaving, he was leaving for good, and he couldn’t. He can’t. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. Franklin can’t do that, he can’t-

His mind had gone so far away, that he didn’t even realize that he had tackled Franklin to the ground. The two of them fell to the ground with a loud splat, followed by sounds of pain.

“Lamar what the fuck?!”

“Don’t go! Fuckin’ hell, I gotta chase yo ass and for what?!”

“Get off me dog!”

“No!” Franklin was pinned beneath him. The raindrops that rolled off of Lamar hit him in the face.

It reminded Lamar of when they were younger, playing football or whatever sport they could outside even as the deluge soaked them both to the bone. The roles had been reversed, with Franklin constantly knocking him down onto the grassy sludge. They got quite an earful from Lamar’s mom as they tracked mud in the house upon returning. It was a memory amongst many that stuck with him like glue. Those memories couldn’t go away. Franklin couldn’t go away.

Tears mixed in with the rain as he yelled out to him.

“You fuckin’ idiot! Why you makin’ this shit so hard for me?! You keep leavin’ before I can even finish!”

Franklin struggled to break free from Lamar’s grip on his wrists, huffing as he looked away.

“Look at me!” Lamar shouted, grabbing his face with a free hand.

“I didn’t wanna fuckin’ tell you like this, but Jesus Christ! For fucks sake you stubborn asshole-”

He was doing it. He bit the fucking bullet.

“You know how we got into that fuckin’ argument last week? When I told you that I was dealin’ with that whole love thing, I wasn’t talkin’ about yo Aunt, a hoe, nobody else! I was talkin’ about you!”

Lamar threw himself off of him, stumbling backwards. Franklin propped himself onto his elbows. He finally said it. He said it, and he was far from finished.

“But you didn’t wanna fuckin’ listen! And now I’ve fucked our friendship over for a second time! All because of you! This whole thing has been drivin’ me fuckin’ insane lately, and I couldn’t do shit about it! I tried so, so hard to avoid this, but nothin’ ever goes my way, huh?! Every time I think a plan of mine’ll work, it doesn’t! You know why?!”

Opening his arms wide, he spoke loud and clear, finishing his rant.

“Lemme remind you: I’m Lamar fuckin’ Davis! The biggest fuckin’ fool, fuckin’ clown, fuckin’ whatever you wanna call me! Lamar Davis, the most naïve bitch on the planet! Fuck me for thinking that this would ever go well!”

Now it was his turn to leave. But he didn’t go back into his house. His legs moved for him, walking in no particular direction. He just needed to get away from Franklin, not caring about how damp his clothes were now. He was shaking, and he didn’t know if it was from the rain or the range of emotions he was flying through.

He could hear a pair of sneakers squishing behind him. Franklin was running, and he was catching up fast.

“Ay Lamar! Get back here!”

Oh fuck. He was chasing after him now. That’s not good. Lamar started running himself, not caring about possibly slipping and falling on his ass. Only a few hours ago, he had told himself he couldn’t be without Franklin. Now all he wanted to do was run away.

“Lamar!”

Fuck fuck fuck.

He wasn’t fast enough. The second time they hit the ground, Lamar had the wind knocked right out of him, the duo splashing right into a puddle. Hands gripped his shoulders, flipping him around.

“Lamar!”

There were only a few instances in his life where Lamar felt small. He’d always been big in character, big in height, and according to him, big in other ways. But this was one of those moments where he couldn’t help but flinch, wanting to collapse in on himself. He was so tired.

“If you gon’ beat my ass or somethin’ jus’ get it over with.” He sighed, shutting his eyes tight.

When he felt nothing but raindrops touch his face, he opened his eyes slowly. His heart sank when he did. Franklin was visibly upset, guilt in his eyes.

“Lamar. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

A wave of déjà vu washed over him. Oh. So that’s what precognition meant. Motherfucking psychic lady.

“You should’ve jus’ told me man.”

“I tried dog. You wouldn’t hear me out.”

“Cuz I.. I thought you got with someone. I didn’t wanna hear it straight from yo mouth if you was.”

He shifted up, Frank sitting in his lap.

“Y’know I always thought that.. Part of me jus’ kinda thought that it’d always be the two of us. I’m never gonna get Tanisha back.. but you..”

Franklin looked away.

“You a crazy ass loyal motherfucker man. You stuck by my side no matter what, and some dumbass part of me was convinced that you… I mean fuck, so many times I thought you would jus’ flat out say something. Somethin’ so I could stop waiting for the one other person I had known forever to just say that they fuckin’ loved me like that.”

Lamar blinked, rainwater getting into his eyes. It wasn’t quite as serene as his dream had been, nor was it verbatim, but Lamar didn’t care. There was something about the way the water droplets sat along Franklin’s face, highlighted by a streetlight behind him that made him look angelic.

“When you started actin’ all weird it jus’.. made me so fuckin’ mad man. I thought you was gon’ pick someone else over me. Jus’ like Tanisha did.”

“Franklin..”

“So why didn’t you jus’ say somethin’ sooner? I waited. Hell, I don’t even know why I did at first.”

“Franklin.”

“But now I’m realizin’ you must not have even noticed yoself what you was feelin’, when I fuckin’ did. I noticed and you didn’t and-”

Lamar grabbed him by the face, grip surprisingly strong after being in the rain.

“How many times do I gotta say yo name for you to hear me?”

The rain kept falling, never slowing for either one of them. Yet, it felt like time stopped. Lamar chuckled lightly.

“Franklin Clinton and Lamar Davis. Two of the dumbest motherfuckers in LS. Homies for life.”

“Yeah. Homies for life.”

His hands never left Franklin’s face. He pressed their foreheads together, lowering his voice.

“I love you, bum ass bitch.”

“Yeah yeah. I love you too.”

He kissed the top of his head, moving his hands down to embrace him in a tight hug. When was the last time they did this? As he thought it over, he could hear Franklin’s voice muffled against his chest.

“Don’t scare me like that again. Next time save us both the trouble n jus’ spill yo heart out. Dramatic motherfucker.”

The words had no malice in them, Lamar feeling him smile as he said it. He kissed him once more, and they just sat in the rain, feeling it bathe them in fond memories.

//plz listen to remember the rain by 21st century it’s so good 💔😭 anyway ya i decided to end it on a sorta happy note !!!!! franklin is a stubborn guy smh,, sorry for any typos lol also i rlly had no idea where i wanted to go with this so sorry if it’s weird or whatever

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HELLO I AM VERY AWAKE. hello mx mackintosh apple. would u happen to have any spare cwilbur heart player propaganda. (what class would he be do u thiink. ;-;) or like anything else for that matter. karkat woobification. ghostbur discussion. cool ass sea creatures. this is another free coupon for u. also all my friends r asleep rn too LMAO so..... <33 🤝

ohhhh my god hi ros hiiii don't even get my STARTED on cwilbur heart player propaganda this post will b like. 20 miles long.

His class is !!!!! very tricky I think. I haven't nailed down a solid one yet. for a while I was pretty solid on him being a Bard but like... now that I've been rereading hs and looking at the wikis more im not sure if that fits as well as I want it toooooo... idk!! BUT. heart player momence. Holy shit. I feel so so so so strong abt this. You've seen the beginnings of the shit w dirks "splinters" now and. That is a big heart player thing I think.

I will FOREVER be sad that we never got to see enough of nepeta or meulin to get as good of a read on their relationships to being a heart player so like. we only rlly have a destroyer class to go on??? but like. imo. being a heart player is HEAVILY reliant on figuring out. the self. and identity. And like. w cwilbur,,, collectively as a fandom we have unintentionally split him up into his own splinters. we've got lmanbur. we've got pogtopia era. we've got GHOSTBUR. and now we have revivebur. And like. Even tho they're all the Same Guy, sometimes they're all treated as different characters. president of lmanburg wilbur is NOT the same guy as. say. revivebur. and don't even get me STARTED on how c!wilbur talks about ghostbur. AND how ghostbur talked abt him . Each of them saw themselves as separate from the other, even though... like... technically they're the same fuckign person. and that is SUCH a heart player thing we LITERALLY saw almost that exact conversation between Dirk and AR. "you and I are the same" "stop saying that." GOD. It's so fucking good ok. ok. I could write an entire fuckign essay abt c!wilburs relationship to his own identity. he even does it HIMSELF in canon. I don't have any of my quotes abt this saved but I know I have them somewhere and if I remember to tomorrow I'll try 2 find some.

AS FOR THE OTHER STUFFF. I feel like this post might b getting a lil Too Long ™ but if u have any specific fun sea monsters 2 ask me abt I would love 2 talk abt those too hehehe. karkat is just so.... he is so ... u haven't even gotten to the best karkat moments yet... man... I love him sommuch. he goes thru such good character development... actually.. I was joking when I said ctommy is a karkat kinnie irt being a knight of blood but like... they r kinda similar sometimes. rude loud annoying kid w a rlly rlly good heart. their love for unlovable things. their tendency to ramble abt random shit forever and word things in such Specific Ways. yeah...

[convenientalias]

Seon-ho is this dude who declares and actually thinks he won't be loyal or attached to anyone and then all he does is have intense close relationships all the time constantly.

I'm sometimes listening to breakup music thinking about Seon-ho/Hwi and my stumbling block is always songs where the singer's talking about how they thought it would forever. I imagine Seon-ho, especially a younger Seon-ho, doesn't really believe in relationships lasting forever. He likes the thought of it, but he doesn't trust it bc Nam Jeon is always telling him not to be too attached (and bc, other than Hwi and Yeon, there's no one he's really close to). After the military exam, all of Seon-ho's betrayals tend to revolve around lying to Hwi or sending him away, trying to distance him in one way or another. Generally he thinks this is for the best for both himself and Hwi. But the irony is he and Hwi DO have one of those relationships that lasts a lifetime--and it's not even the only one Seon-ho has! What about Yeon, who he tried his best to protect until her death, who he never forgets even after death? What about Sung-rok, who dies by his side at battle? and apart from these wholesome and heartbreaking "till death do us part" relationships, what about

His fuckign relationship with Nam Jeon??? talk about connections that are hard to shake. I am always on team "Seon-ho Should Get a Little Patricide, As a Treat", but I also believe that canonically Seon-ho would never have killed his father. Look. By the time we reach the First Strife of Princes, Seon-ho's already got a slick political position that only partly depends on his father. If his father were to die in a way other than "Bang-won pulls a coup and ends it by declaring everyone in the Nam family a traitor", Seon-ho would, okay, suffer a loss of political capital, but he wouldn't be completely down and out if he could keep up his father's connections and stay in Seung-gye's good graces. As long as he could pull off murder without getting caught, he could probably kill his father. Hell, if he stopped caring about politics (and you can't tell me Seon-ho immediately post-Yeon's-death gave a shit about politics) he could have killed his father ages ago.

Moreover, Seon-ho's explanation for why he doesn't want Nam Jeon yet isn't that it's inconvenient to him politically or that it gives Bang-won too much power or that it will likely end with Seon-ho himself dead. It's that he wants his father to die at the peak of his power bc somehow that would be more humiliating. also Seon-ho has to be the one to do it. So??? what does that mean?? Nam Jeon already has a ton of power. Is Seon-ho waiting for Bang-seok to ascend the throne and Nam Jeon to become the power behind an actual king? would that be enough? Or is it all just a game of "My father will die when I personally am ready for him to die (which may very well be never)"?

Idk. I love Seon-ho's line to Bang-won that he would be willing to kill his father for political advantage ("so I guess we still have our differences") but I also think it's bullshit. It's a lie just like Seon-ho claiming he doesn't care about Hwi. Seon-ho wants to believe this one more--he has to, since his father is to blame for both his mother's death and Yeon's--but as much as he hates his father, he doesn't really, really want him to die either. He says to Nam Jeon once that he wants to become cold enough that any death won't matter to him including Nam Jeon's, and Nam Jeon approves, but he never actually reaches that point.

In short, Seon-ho doesn't do cutting ties. It's obsession to the death or nothing, baby (and no, Seon-ho will not be the one doing the killing no matter how much he deserves it).

[tsukkisbean]

haikyuu nsfw alphabet series | ennoshita chikara

please block #claras steamys if you don’t want to see this type of content!!

warnings: sexual themes (implied sadism?) , mentions of (unprotected) sex, fem!reader

a/n: based on post time skip!! okay so i had to dig as much information as i could on ennoshita for obvious reasons before i went head first into any headcanons. would love to discuss about him bc i don’t see a lot of talk about him since he plays a pretty minor role!!

return to nsfw alphabet series masterlist

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

two words: sweet. heart. when you guys are done, he’ll give you a chaste kiss on the lips and tell you how well you did. will run you a warm bath, unscented, scented, rose petals whatever the hell you want. if you ask, he’ll give it to you. while you enjoy your time in the bath he’ll go get you a snack and once you’re done in the bath, he’ll help you dry off, get dressed and then you’ll snuggle under the covers together!!!!!!!!

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

i think he’d love your hands the most. just doing things like holding them, kissing your knuckles, or when you play with his hair. the feeling of your fingers touching him is just so comforting to him

on him maybe his shoulders or upper body in general? being a physical therapist i can see him taking pretty good care of himself and working out consistently to make sure his muscles and joints are in good shape.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he’s into creampies and you c a n n o t change my mind whatsoever. probably stemmed from the one time where you guys were really desperate and short on time (a rare quickie moment)  and you’re okay without a condom. so he gets right into it and at the time all he’s thinking about is getting the both of you to cum that he doesn’t even consider the idea of pulling out. and when he does cum in you the feeling of you being full of his seeds just turns him on to the max

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he likes filmmaking so he probably lowkey really wants to ask you if he can film you guys having sex but is kind embarrassed that you’ll be weirded out

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

hmmmm i wouldn’t say super experienced? probably had 1 or 2 serious partners before you but he learned most of what he knows now with you. definitely type of dude that knows where the clit is though, ennoshita big brain

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

missionary where your fingers are interlocked bc he loves looking into your eyes while he fucks you

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

seems like the type of guy to take sex pretty seriously in the sense that he wants the both of you to feel good. and that he believes its a pretty intimate, so all your focus should be on each other, no distractions

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

definitely well groomed. i would say something like still having full coverage, but the hairs are significantly trimmed, maintained regularly.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

INTIMATE!!! WILL TELL YOU HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU AND BEAUTIFUL HE THINKS YOU ARE INSIDE AND OUT AND HOW LUCKY HE IS TO HAVE YOU IN HIS LIFE BC YOU AER HIS LIGHT!!!!

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

after one particularly stressful day at work he just can’t seem to calm down despite his usual level-headedness. he can only think of one way to calm himself down but you’re not going to be home for another hour or two. desperate he jumps into the shower, making sure to lock the door in case there’s the slightest chance you’re back before he’s done. turning on the water, he starts to pump his shaft up and down, thinking about you while he does so. he thinks about the way your hand wraps around his cock, your tongue picking up all of his pre-cum

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

ngl probably has some sorta daddy/captain kink going on that developed from him being captain of the volleyball club in his 3rd year and having to take care of the wild kids (aka tanaka and noya). likes the feeling of having to take care of you and when you act submissive. low key (but really high key) likes the power.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

a bedroom man because he wants you to feel comfortable at all times!! maybe even okay with the couch if you guys have a nice big one that the two of you can fit on comfortably hehe

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

you being straightforward!!! like tell him you wanna suck him off or that you want him to eat you out and he’d get super flustered and blushy. even though he tries, he can’t control the blood rushing to his dick so you get what you want :-)

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything that has to do with pain (e.g. choking, spanking), doesn’t want to any sort of situation that could possibly escalate to you getting hurt, soft baby

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

giving!!! the boy is a giver and you can’t change my mind. he’s the type that you don’t even have to ask, once you guys start getting it on, he’s on his knees eating you out faster than you can process. will be lapping away at your juices whenever he gets the chance so that being said probably pretty experienced since he does it for you so often

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

slow and sensual, likes to take his time so that he tell you how much he loves you, how good you feel, and just appreciating you

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

pretty much never. as mentioned above, sex is an act of love to him so he likes to take his time to cherish you and your body and literally just everything about you

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

okay i know i’ve written him as a pretty vanilla guy but i think he’s definitely willing to experiment he just isn’t sure how to ask you. so you most likely have to be the one to ask him to try something new

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i think because he puts his all into the first round he wouldn’t be able to do that many rounds. maybe 1 or 2 depending how much you guys get around to BUT the first round he can go on forever. pays to be an athlete!!

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

i’m not really sure for this one??? maybe a vibrator to use on your once in awhile

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

teases you a lot when he’s going down on you. like instead of giving you what you want, he’ll kiss your thighs, or just small licks here and there instead of fuckign you with his tongue like you want

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

not very loud, lots of grunting, panting, and breathy moans in your ear

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

your fingers are threaded in ennoshita’s hair while he’s going down on you, and when he hits a particularly sensitive spot you can’t help but yank on his hair in response. at first you’re worried you’ve hurt him but the two of you are shocked at the way he lets out a strained moan. he looks up from between your legs, a small smirk on his face and tells you, “do that again and i’ll keep going”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

tbh i think he’s average in both length and girth, nothing super outta the ordinary

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

i wouldn’t say it’s super high. he’s a pretty level headed guy so i think he’d be able to control all his sexual urges. only occasionally if he’s stressed out from work will he get super needy

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

after he takes care of you, it’ll probably take him like 15-20 minutes to knock out his arms wrapped protectively around you

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Hey, I’m here once again with the ranting (if you don’t mind)! I just finished playing Yakuza 5 and damn I have a lot of feels I want to share. When I was first introduced to the franchise, I thought that nothing could beat Zero for me, but here I am now, holding back my tears and thinking what a fine game 5 turned out to be! I really loved the bonds that characters formed along the way, it just felt so sincere and warm that my heart throbbed nearly at every dialogue Х) Like Saejima/Baba, Mirei/Haruka (and Akiyama too!), Shinada/Takasugi were absolutely delightful. And don’t get me started on the ending scene with Kiryu and his daughter. I fucking lost it there. So damn emotional and pure. And while I adore Zero for its majestic tragedy and fatalism, I also love the kind and inspiring atmosphere of 5. Of course, there were some flaws, like I didn’t find the main antagonist all that interesting (especially after Ryuji and Mine), but in the end I was ready to overlook it just because the heartwarming scenes between the characters were so well done. So yeah, for me it’s top tier along with Zero. What’s your personal opinion on the game (and your favorites in the series in general)?

Congrats! Oooooh, Game 5. I’ve got a lot of feels about Game 5 too ^^; It’s a real fav c: There’s an awful lot I love about it, but there’s one or two things that really stick in my craw. I’m not sure I could put it up with Zero, but it’s definitely a game I treasure c: 

I find it interesting that your interpret Zero as fatalistic and 5 as inspiring. Zero definitely has a lot of high-key tragedy, but I think the fact that we come through the other side, that Kiryu doesn’t go into the ground with Tachibana, that Majima decides that even though he could be happy with Makoto, it isn’t what he wants, I find that really powerful and even hopeful. Not inspiring perhaps, the choices we all make in that game are crushingly hard and frequently we’re punished for things that aren’t our fault. But seeing Kiryu confront his potential for the first time and, perhaps for the last time, deciding he’s not afraid of it, that this is a mantle he can carry and do good with, really does things for me. And I’ve gone on at length before about how we ought to read Majima’s choice at the end as not sacrificial, not denial, but rather a choice of identity. What stopped him from going with Makoto isn’t fear for what it would do to her (though certainly those protective instincts are still alive and well), but rather a... with nothing holding him back, he would still choose the life he started. He could leave it all right here but... there are things he wants to do, not has to do, wants to do. And he makes the choice to be yakuza, to be the Mad Dog, crucially, before he sees Kiryu. He could leave it all behind, but then he wouldn’t be himself. He wants to be yakuza. And he couldn’t do that if he was with her. I think that’s really cool and really life-affirming. 

Meanwhile 5... it’s hard for me to articulate what 5 is about because we have a bunch of different character arcs, some of which mesh quite nicely and some of which have nothing at all to do with each other. It’s probably best if I just break this down piece by piece ^^;

(spoilers follow for game 5 my little chili babies)

Kiryu’s arc, as I have articulated before, I fucking love in game 5. However, I do have my criticisms of it. In many ways, the conflict we’re facing in 5 is something that should have come up awhile back. But, even delayed, it is satisfying. It is satisfying to force Kiryu to confront his mistakes. It is satisfying to at least reach a turn on Kiryu, to have him decide that he wants to live and does feel worthy, even if it’s at the last possible second. Like, I interpret 5 as much more fatalistic because Kiryu’s dying in the snow in the middle of saying how he wants to come home to his daughter. Like... he may have finally gotten his revelation, but he was already in the middle of repeating the cycle. What would have been truly satisfying was to force him to live, to insist that he grow up and learn how to live with people because dying won’t fix it. This is a problem we’ve had since the beginning and have never really addressed. This was our chance to address it and it breaks my heart that game 5 comes so close and was going the right direction, but doesn’t quite give us that resolution that Kiryu’s going to continue his relationships and be okay now, that he isn’t going to back out this time. And if the creators had been brave they would have ended the fucking series here with that resolution. That’s SO OBVIOUSLY the main conflict in Kiryu’s plot and here, at last, we were finally fucking dealing with it and this SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE END. THIS WAS IT. THE ACTUAL FUCKING END, I- *breathes* Let me not derail this entire thing with game 6. Let’s just... never talk about game 6. 

That said... one of the things I ADORE about game 5 is this is the clearest sense of motivation we’ve had since Kiwami 1. For the first time in FUCKING FOREVER character choices made sense! HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH. I CANNOT TELL YOU what it did to me that it was Majima that got Kiryu into the game. I cannot tell you the breath of life it gave me, after all this fucking BULLSHIT, that the game came FUCKING HOME on the most important person to Kiryu is Majima. Daigo needs help? Kiryu can’t help. Haruka needs her dad? Kiryu can’t help. These are both mistakes, don’t get me wrong! Absolutely terrible decisions, but they make sense out of Kiryu’s depression, out of his fears and doubts and feelings of unworthiness, his guilt. He’s so caught up in “better off without me” and so scared and so guilty, he can’t answer people even when they ask for help. But Majima. He can’t turn away from. He hears Majima’s dead and Kiryu loses his goddamn mind. Because it’s his fault. Because he wasn’t there. Because he left him out there and now Majima’s dead. Kiryu asked him to do something and, for all Kiryu knows, Majima’s dead because of him. And... as much as Kiryu hates himself in this moment, as much as Kiryu is sure that it’s all his fault, he’s SO upset, he has to go help, he HAS to go fix it. Majima’s dead and with his last breath, Kiryu will make this fuckign right. He’s gotta try. Because Majima being dead is... unacceptable. He can’t handle it. I fucking love that. At long last, it felt like the same story I’d been watching from 1. At long fucking last, we got some fucking proof of Kiryu’s feelings. And for that alone, I love game 5. I’ve got some issues with it, but that was... vindication. Spent 3 games waffling and pretending we didn’t know him unless we’re literally in the same scene, but even Kiryu’s denial isn’t that strong. Majima’s dead and Kiryu can’t anymore. He’s gonna go there and, god help him, he’ll go into the ground with him. You look at that and tell me it was un-fucking-requited. 

On that note, I just gotta gush for a second about that scene where the girl is naked in Kiryu’s apartment and Kiryu just ???? He’s not even “no thank you” he’s like PAINED. Like... she hugs him and Kiryu looks like he’s being fucking tortured! That is not the reaction of someone with even an iota of attraction to feminine bodies! This gay icon! Like, if you’d done that to Majima he would have been like “You’re pretty, babe, but I am Emotionally Unavailable” like the bi icon he is, like... you may not take her up on it, but you can still appreciate her or at least turn her down gracefully. But Kiryu out here doing his best to touch her as little as humanly fucking possible like’ he’s TERRIFIED. That’s not someone being overly polite, that was “cannot conceive of being attracted to this.” Just... this gay fucking dad. Holy christ. 

Related GOTTA love Kiryu’s boss being “Hey, there’s a rumor going around that you’re gay! Any thoughts?” and Kiryu just “That Is A Thing People Ask Me” which is the EXACT RESPONSE of a queer person who doesn’t want to out themselves but also doesn’t want to lie. Game 5 fucking iconic for those 2 scenes alone, god bless. 

Moving away from Kiryu for a second, although this game is VERY about Kiryu’s story, let’s talk about Saejima! Saejima FINALLY gets to come into his own as a character, we get to handle him properly as a character and not as a crux in Majima’s character development. I love the marked differences in how Kiryu and Saejima respond to Majima and handle him. I love that they fucking NAILED motivation here. That Kiryu and Majima mutually code romantic, that they both make batshit decisions because of each other, in that way that you do when you’re madly in love with someone. Meanwhile, Saejima loves his brother but isn’t in love with him. Saejima’s relationship with Majima is stable and trusting. He’s not losing his mind over Majima’s death because he trust him and knows him. If he’s dead, Saejima trusts that Majima did all he could and it was just his time. That’s why he’s not losing his mind, he’s resolved. He just wants to know what happened. And it’s this stability that really tells us who Saejima is and how he functions as a protag. His strength is his trust in others, which at times IS naive, but it’s also what turns Baba. It’s what keeps Saejima strong when Kiryu’s falling apart. It’s so cool to see a character who isn’t paranoid, who isn’t tore up with guilt, in this series with very complicated leads. Saejima is functional and necessary because he isn’t any of those things. He doesn’t get swept up in big emotional turmoil. He cuts through a lot of foibles that would have tripped up his brother or Kiryu and it’s just really refreshing to see and exciting to experience Saejima’s brand of problem solving. He’s not terribly clever and he’s not subtle, but he’s honest and sure that counts for A LOT in this series. Gotta love Saejima. 

And, as I have gushed about before and will again, Baba. Baba. Saejima turning Baba hand me fucking ascending. Baba Known Whore Shigecki turning on a time because Saejima screams “Because we’re kyoudai!” I am LIVING. I love their relationship. I love that Baba’s a little shit. I love that he’s inexplicably a supermodel. I love that his constant vibe is “would like to choke til he cries on Saejima’s dick.” I love that Saejima has a gorgeous prison boyfriend. Well deserved! I love the idea of Baba getting integrated into the group. I need WAY more fic about him coming back to live with Saejima in Kamurocho and Saejima just has an ex-assassin boyfriend now and we all get to live with that. Ugggghhhh, bless. So good. No notes, no criticisms, just good.

Haruka was LONG overdue to be a protag, I’m so glad this game did it. But... pop idol? The thing she explicitly said in Kiwami 2 she didn’t want to be? *siiiigh* Like, I get that she can change her mind as she grows up and that that’s the Thing You Do with Japanese teenage girls, but... Imagine Martial Artist Haruka! Raised by the yakuza, surrounded her whole life by people with incredible fighting skills, who would gladly teach her self-defense. Imagine! Or even training her to become a yakuza! My wife and I joke about Seventh Chairman Sawamura Haruka, but imagine how satisfying that would have been! A whole Tojo dynasty of Kiryu’s kids! She’s so ripe for it! And I know the yakuza is a male-only organization but... c’mon, this is fiction and sexism is boring. I guess I can understand the creators unwillingness to depict violence against women, even if it’s being perpetrated by other women but uh... *eye twitch* game 5 is maybe not the BEST example of their... respecting women... 

*screams into a pillow for several minutes* *breathes* *screams for another fifteen minutes* Okay... I uh... I um... can’t talk about Mirei Park without having an aneurysm. PLEASE skip this bullet point if you don’t want to read Mirei Hate. I just... I Hate Everything About Her And I Don’t Know Why She Fucking Exists. I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade and if you like Mirei, y’all welcome to feel how you feel but... she is the only thing I truly Hate about game 5. I just... leaving aside my personal feelings about the... Majima part of her story which we just... Won’t talk about... Leaving that aside... I don’t know why she’s here? She’s the person who convinces Kiryu to leave his children. She’s predatory, she took advantage of a vulnerable young girl to live out some personal dream? Like, sure, economic opportunity, independence, but we don’t get a lot of motive from Haruka that it IS her dream to be a pop idol. She has said in the past that’s not what she wants, she makes mention of doing this for the money to support her family, Mirei LITERALLY SAYS she wants Haruka to do the things she couldn’t, and ultimately Haruka asides not to do this anyway because she’d ratehr be home with her dad! So what was the FUCKING POINT of Mirei Park? Is she a villain? Is she sympathetic? What the fuck was I supposed to take from her? How the fuck am I supposed to read her? She tells this TRAUMATIC story off-hand to Haruka to... justify her decisions? Motivate Haruka? Dragging in another long-term character for no good reason and reframing how we have to think about said character. But then THIS NEVER COMES UP AGAIN. The information wasn’t even important! It’s just traumatic! If it was supposed to keep Haruka doing the pop idol thing, it didn’t work! Haruka still leaves! If this was meant to deepen our relationship to Mirei or complicate her or whatever, IT DOESN’T, SHE WAS LITERALLY DEAD THE NEXT SCENE. I just... WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE?! What even the fuck was I supposed to do with any of this?! Leaving ASIDE my VERY intense feelings about what this did for Majima (for the sake of not going ogg Even More than I already am, I just won’t talk abotu it here), I just have no goddamn clue what the point of Mirei even was. She’s not useful to Haruka’s arc and she only serves in Kiryu’s arc to be a villain. We could have had Haruka leave home and decide in the end that Kiryu’s her dad and that’s where she wants to be a MILLION different ways, we could have done that MUCH more kindly and consistently with the rest of her character and values, but we don’t! We have this shitmess instead!

I’m really really sorry to anyone reading this who likes Mirei. You don’t have to agree with me! And I’m not trying to make you feel bad! I’m not trying to tell people how they should feel or what they should get out of the story. If you got something out of her, you related to her, you found her part in the story meaningful, that’s great! I’m genuinely glad that you did. I... didn’t. I have a lot of negative opinions about what happened. Usually I try to just not talk about it because I don’t want to ruin someone’s good time. I’m not here trying to start shit. So I apologize for my tone and I did try to put a warning before it and recommend it be skipped if it’s the sort of thing that would offend you. My Mirei rant is over now, I won’t talk about it again.

I have absolutely no idea why Akiyama is in this story, tbh? He contributed very little, but I’m glad Haruka got to hang out with someone cool and that one of her uncles was here watching out for her, since Majima was “dead” and Kiryu was in the middle of a personal crisis ^^; I love Akiyama, always happy to see him, but he really had nothing to do here ^^; I was sad for no Hana though 8C Wherever there is Akiyama, there must also be Hana!

Shinada... is adorable and actively injured the plot. I’m sorry, I just... no one ever talks about the fact that including Shinada in the story actively hurt it. I love him too! He’s an incredible idiot and very sweet, but why the fuck is he here? What did an ancient baseball cover up have to do with anything? This was the only way you could think of to put Daigo in the game again? Really??? And Daigo doesn’t even do very much here! So like... not really worth it. You could have had a whole substory of Daigo finding out what happened to Majima, fuck DAIGO COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THE PROTAGS. THERE’S A THOUGHT. We could have utilized, y’know, characters we already have, but no, instead we introduce this dumb fuck to do... what exactly? Oh right, beat up Baba AFTER HE HAD ALREADY DECIDED NOT TO SHOOT HARUKA! Like, YOU DIDN’T EVEN NEED SHINADA FOR THE THING YOU NEEDED HIM FOR. Saejima and Kiryu were enough of an influence on Baba to stop him! And that makes sense out of Baba’s character arc, since it’s about personal redemption and learning to be a person and his faith and love of Saejima, y’know, the character he actually HAS a relationship with, is about that. The point of Baba was him learning it WAS his choice and him MAKING that choice. See, I can’t argue that Baba’s superfluous to the plot, but he WAS the threat! He was actively involved and he’s what makes Saejima involved. Shinada doesn’t occupy the same space, he has no horse in this race, he’s not yakuza, he’s only here because he and Daigo kinda like each other or whatever, and, again, HE WASN’T EVEN NEEDED! Baba’s arc was complete and the threat was terminated without this shit! Like, Akiyama has no reason to be here either, but at least he was a true neutral, neither helping nor harming the plot. We actively waste time to bring Shinada in and he hurts Baba’s arc by overly punishing him and potentially risking the decision he just made. Like if I was Baba, I might have gone “you know what, fuck you, I will shoot her just because your self-righteous ass decided to hit me for MAKING THE RIGHT CALL” Jesus... 

I hate to be nothing but a curmudgeon but just... no one brings that up and I just had to say it if no one else was gonna. 

As for villains, the game would have been a lot stronger without the “thwarted destiny, I should be on the throne” bullshit especially since the story has done a SHIT JOB with the legacy of Nishiki and in NO WAY utilized the fucking koi or the burden of Nishiki’s death properly for this to hit the way it should. It makes theoretical sense that Kriyu’s last villain should be the reincarnation of Nishiki, but the story did not build that up or support it so it falls really flat. That said, the main problem in Kiryu’s arc is that dying is not a resolution. Dying doesn’t fix a problem, it only delays it. THAT’S the thing we have to confront and we almost nearly do and... I’m just so excited that we finally articulated that, I’m willing to forgive A LOT. 

And finally we wrote Majima entirely out of the game only to confirm that his only reason for living is Kiryu and then, again, didn’t resolve it because, y’know, fuck ending things, I guess? But he did have that sweet fight with Saejima and can do shadow clones now I guess? Fucking ninja magic or whatever. Sure, Majima’s so OP he can do fucking shadow clones now. No, teleporting wasn’t enough, he can fucking shadow clone. That’s like a staisfying story arc right? ...right?