#it's rare moments like these that I truly love the fact that I understand German

[axkirak]

Special : Phantom Thread│(Qimir x Reader)

Remark : This one-shot is a special chapter from The Curse of Cassandra series. I recommend reading the main series first before reading this one.

Read in Ao3 : here

Pairings:  Qimir x f!reader(SEA Reader)  [The Acolyte]

Content Rating : Mature 18+  Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warning (AT YOUR OWN RISK)

tags/themes : Alternate Universe - Dune & Star wars, Partners in Crime, Strangers to Lovers

A/N : My mind’s still stuck on The Curse of Cassandra—I can’t move on, so I decided to write a special chapter LOL.

This one-shot is inspired by Movie Phantom Thread (2017) and the German folktale Tristan and Iseult, perfectly capturing Qimir and Reader’s toxic relationship—literally toxic, with actual toxin involved 😂

I originally planned a sweeter scene with Qimir caring for the reader during her pregnancy, but it felt too OOC for the dark tone of the series, so I made it a “love so intense it almost kills you” vibe (don’t worry, no one dies—just some playful activity, as couples do. 😏).Think of it as sweet revenge for what happened on Eiram.

Also, I realized my fic doesn’t delve into Qimir’s perspective much, so this chapter is all about his POV.

[Special I ] Phantom Thread

The beginnings of love are often effortless and swift, burning with passion. 

Yet sustaining a lasting, stable relationship is far more challenging—especially when both partners know each other's true nature so well, seeing both the qualities that attract and those that repel.

Sometimes, Qimir finds himself wondering where exactly he and you truly stand.

A tense silence fills the dining room as his gaze rests on you, seated across the wooden table. You offer a soft smile that feels strangely out of place, almost unsettling, considering how rarely you've looked him in the eye before. Most of the time, your demeanor is distant, as though lost in visions only you can see, speaking to him only when truly necessary, like when delivering a warning or sharing insights from what you've foreseen.

Even after Alia, their daughter, was born, the dynamic between you and Qimir remains unchanged. It hasn’t worsened, but it hasn’t grown any closer either.

Qimir understands that he can’t alter what is. He can’t make you open your heart or engage with him sincerely. Yet, coercion isn’t the answer—he’s already exerted enough control. Throughout your time together, he’s been the one in charge, while you simply complied and offered guidance. That was the arrangement set back on Eiram, and it continues even now.

But as time goes on, Qimir increasingly realizes that he’s never truly had control over you. You might appear to submit, but never willingly. Sometimes, you even show a quiet defiance in subtle ways, which he interprets as a form of retribution, rebellion—or perhaps even a kind of love, interwoven with resentment, a strange ritual in the flawed relationship between you both.

Strangely, he finds himself willing to accept it—for those rare moments you offer—a fleeting smile, a soft “I love you,” a kiss, an embrace. Even if it’s only temporary, even if it’s no more than a phantom.

Tonight, the dining table is filled with a variety of dishes you’ve prepared—herb soup, chicken sautéed with an unfamiliar ingredient, and other dishes unfamiliar to him. You explain they’re Fremen dishes, infused with spice.

Qimir does not favor spices, a fact you are well aware of.

He’s certain you’ve done it on purpose, with some intention in mind.

As if sensing his thoughts, you slide a single dish toward him—the only one without spice.

It’s Bocha.

You look at him expectantly, your once impassive gaze now bright with life, seemingly filled with affection—if it’s not just his imagination.

"I made this just for you," you say softly. “I thought you might need a break—a week of rest would do you good.”

It isn’t a suggestion, nor is it a command, but something he has no choice but to follow.

As he stares at the golden, crisp Bocha on his plate, an unpleasant memory resurfaces. You have made Bocha for him before, and his decision to eat it was his greatest mistake in years. Qimir did not expect that you had laced it with a sedative, in an attempt to escape him. He’d trusted you, and trusted himself too much, and the result was a painful betrayal.

But could he blame you for deceiving him when he himself had deceived you just as much?

“Do you trust me, my love?” you ask, as though you know exactly what’s on his mind.

Qimir meets your gaze, wanting to say 'no', but the words get stuck in his throat.

You know his weaknesses, his deepest desires, and you wield them against him. You call him “my love” in that soft, beguiling tone, gazing at him with warm, affectionate eyes. How could he possibly refuse?

He picks up the Bocha, his fingers pausing mid-motion. He doesn’t take a bite, his eyes fixed on your face. “Will you still be here when I wake up?” he asks, trying to mask the worry in his voice.

You shake your head in mild amusement before reaching out to take his hand. Your thumb begins tracing gentle circles in his palm—a gesture of comfort, perhaps even reassurance. "There's no sedative, Qimir," you assure him firmly. "And I could never leave you. You know that."

You’re telling the truth—about the fact that you cannot leave him and the absence of sedative in the boche.

Because he can smell and see it clearly: the boche is stuffed with Yellow Stainer[1]—a poisonous mushroom known to disrupt the digestive system, causing stomach pain, headaches, and nausea. It’s a torment that won’t kill him but is severe enough to leave him temporarily weak and vulnerable.

You prepared this just for him.

Qimir smiles, quiet admiration flickering in his heart.

Finally He’s met his true match—someone willing to bring him to his knees, not with weapons but with something far more powerful: love.

As Qimir takes a bite of the Bocha, savoring its intense flavor tinged with the sharp, inky bitterness of poisonous mushrooms, his thoughts drift to an ancient tale—Tristan and Iseult[2]. He once read it in the Jedi Temple’s library. For a fleeting moment, he envisions you as Iseult, standing before him with a chilling smile, offering Tristan—him—a goblet laced with poison as a reminder of their covenant of death.

Qimir closes his eyes and swallows the Bocha, unflinching, like Tristan drinking the poisoned goblet. Only later did Tristan discover it was not poison, but a love potion.

You watch Qimir intently, not blinking until he finishes every bite. Then, rising smoothly, you kneel beside him. Your lips brush softly against his rough cheek as you whisper words only he could ever understand:

"I want you flat on your back. Helpless, tender, open with only me to help. And then I want you strong again. You're not going to die. You might wish you're going to die, but you're not going to. You need to settle down a little"

Qimir chuckles softly, cupping your face with both hands. His voice is hoarse with fatigue as he pleads, “Kiss me, my girl, before I’m sick.”

Your smile grows, warm and faintly mischievous. Leaning closer, you kiss him passionately, deeply, just as he asked. Qimir pulls you closer, holding you tightly even as his body begins to weaken and sway. He knows it won’t be long before he collapses to the floor, writhing in agony, suffering that could last for days.

But for now, he wants to savor this brief sliver of happiness for as long as he can.

When the kiss finally ends, he rests his forehead against yours, savoring the quiet warmth that freezes time. He decides to speak the words he’s held in his heart for so long. “I love you.”

In this close proximity, your eyes reveal the depth of your feelings for him—feelings you’ve harbored for years. A blend of love and hate intertwined within you, reflected in a gaze he has never fully understood.

“I love you too,” you reply, your voice steady and calm, making it impossible to discern what truly lies behind it.

Qimir isn’t sure whether the bond between them is driven more by love or hate.

But he doesn’t mind, as long as you remain by his side and keep telling him you love him—whether it’s true or just a lie. It doesn’t matter.

Even if it means he must wretch and soon vomit from the Bocha, he accepts it willingly.

Footnotes:

[1] Yellow Stainer is a type of poisonous mushroom. It has a strong odor, similar to ink or iodine, and its effects are severe on the digestive system, causing nausea and vomiting when consumed.

[2] Tristan and Iseult is a famous medieval romance based on Celtic mythology. Tristan, a knight, is tasked with escorting Princess Iseult to marry his uncle, the king. The princess holds a personal grudge against Tristan, believing he killed her fiancé, so she gives him a poisoned drink. Unbeknownst to her, the poison is actually a love potion her mother had given her to use on the king. As a result, Tristan and Princess Iseult fall in love because of it, but their love ends tragically.

[mrsavery]

I am not going anywhere

Massimo Torricelli x Reader

Warning: Smut, curse words, fighting.

Summary: You are Massimo’s mistress that he fucks every night wants. One day you get enough and want to leave, because you have fallen in love with him.

Words: 2329

Note: The text in cursive means that they are having a conversation in Italian.

You had enough of him, of his body, voice, and touch. You were tired of not being able to be his, not being able to call him yours, not being able to tell how much he meant to you. The last few months were filled with pain and sadness, as he continued to come and go in the nights. He did not see the pain in your eyes, the tears that fell after he was gone. You were just a toy for him that he used whenever he wanted.

It all started with a one-night stand two years ago. You were on a family vacation and decided to walk around the city alone, while your parents and siblings decided to go shopping. You never liked shopping, and as usual you went your own way. The city was magical, and you spent hours walking around, taking pictures, and learning more about the history from a few guides that were with a group of tourists.

Around six in the evening you decided to finally return to your hotel and meet your family for a diner. On your way there you were too distracted by the beautiful pictures on your phone that you ran in the man.

“Please forgive me!” You said in Italian without looking up. You had learned Italian in school, and this one of the rare places where you could use it. Nobody in your family spoke Italian, since you decided to learn it instead of German, and in your country, there was no need to use this language.

When you moved away and looked in the eyes of the man you had run into, you were taken aback by his features. He had short, midnight black hair and piercing brown eyes that bore into your soul and made your knees weak. He was powerful and dangerous, you could see that by his posture, clothes and two bodyguards behind hm.

You did not want to get into trouble with this Italian god, so you apologize again, ignoring his hands on your waist and butterflies in your stomach. “I am truly sorry for running into you. I was in my own world and did not watch where I was going. If there is anything I can do – “

His hand moved from your waist to your arm, and you stopped talking. “Go out with me.” He said and with that everything started.

You spent almost every night of your vacation with him, and when it was time to leave, Massimo persuaded you to stay. Your family supported your choice, but made you promise that you would fly home and visit them as often as you could. As they left, you found a nice and affordable place in the city, ignoring the fact that Massimo wanted to pay for it. You had stayed here not only because of Massimo, but because of yourself too. You knew that Italy would be the best place for you to find yourself, be yourself and most importantly be happy. Back in home you did not feel happy, but here things were different.

You got the job as an architect and divided your time between it and Massimo. He came every night, sometimes took you to his house and sometimes took you out on dates. Soon enough your one-night stand had changed into an arrangement where you spent each night with him. No strings attached, no feelings involved, no sleeping with other people.

Without realizing, you had fallen for him. You loved everything about him, his voice, his eyes, his touch… everything. As your day went, you thought about Massimo and counted hours to see him. When he was getting ready to leave you in early mornings, you silently prayed for him not to leave, but Massimo never stayed.

The few last months were hell for you because your feelings grew stronger and stronger, and you were not able to stop them. This whole thing was hurting you, and you decided to do the only thing you could to make the pain go away – leave.

You were almost done packing your things when your doorbell rang. It was two in the day, and you had taken a day off to pack your things and write a goodbye letter for Massimo, knowing that you will not be able to look into his eyes. You walked to your front door, wiped away the tears that had fallen, and opened doors without asking. Massimo had made sure that you lived in a safe neighborhood and that no one would ever try to lay a finger on you.

You cursed under your breath when you realized that the person in front of you was Massimo. He changed all your plans, and with him here it will be harder to leave, but you will have to do it. There was no other way how to end the pain in your heart. “What are you going here?” You asked him.

“This is not how you greet me, baby girl!” He said louder that he was usually talking and stormed in the apartment. “Are you going anywhere?”

You rolled your eyes and closed the doors. “I am leaving.”

These three words made Massimo stop and turn around to face me. “What do you mean? Where are you going?”

“Home.” You moved around the room and stood in front of a carbon box, where you had put all the things Massimo had given to you over the two years. You took it in your hands and went to Massimo who was watching you with a furious expression. “Here are all the things you have given to me. I am returning them all to you.” That made him angrier.

Massimo took the box out of your hands and threw it on the floor near your feet. “You are not going anywhere, [Y/N]!”

“You don’t have any right to tell me what I can or cannot do!” You shouted in reply.

He walked closer to you, but you took a step back. “Baby girl, you are forgetting who I am and what can I do.”

You laughed and moved even further away from him. You were not afraid of him, and you will not let him get under your skin. “I don’t care who you are, Massimo. The only person who would have any right to say something in this case would be my husband, but I do not have him, so I am making my own decisions. I am leaving, and nothing is going to stop me from doing that.”

Massimo was even angrier than before. If a look could kill, you would be dead right now. It took him two second to be in front of you and trap you between his body and the wall. “What are you – “

“Shut the fuck up!” He almost shouted in your face. Now you were scared. You have never seen Massimo like this, and it was scaring you. “You are not going anywhere; do you understand me? You. Are. Not. Going. Anywhere.”

You closed your eyes, without wanting to look at his beautiful but painful face. You were on the edge of crying, and you did not want him to see you crying, because you did not want to look weak in front of him. You were strong, and you knew it, and because of that you decided to leave this all behind.

“Why are you doing this to me?” You whispered in the silent room. The only thing that could be heard were our breaths.

“Why are you leaving?” He asked me in return.

“Don’t you see it? Are you really that blind?” You opened your eyes and let the tears fall. This was not the way how you imagined telling him about your feelings. You never imagined telling him about your feelings at all, since you were just a fuck buddy for him. Your eyes met his dark ones, and you poured your heart our through the tears. “I am fucking in love with you, Massimo! And I cannot keep letting you to fuck me every night and then leave, knowing that you will never love me! I am tired of crying my heart out every night, I cannot -”

Massimo did not let you finish, because he kissed you with a force. His hands went around your waist, and he pressed you harder into his embrace. You tried pushing him away, but his hold on you was too strong.

“Stop fighting me, woman!” Massimo said, after you did bite hard onto his lower lip, resulting with blood coming from the wound.

“Then let me go, jerk!” You fought against his hold, but not every single one of your attempts changed the situation. You were still in his arms, and Massimo was a long way away from letting you go.

“Never, my love, never.” Massimo moved his face closer to yours, and this time you did not protest, knowing that it would not change anything. You were trapped under his strong body, without a chance to get free. Tears were still falling from your cheeks, but Massimo managed to wipe them away with his hand.

He looked into your eyes. “I love you. I have loved you from the moment you ran into my arms that day.” Massimo smiled, moved his head closer to mine and pressed a light kiss on my forehead. “I thought that you would never love me, and that is why I continued to come here every night. I could not let you go, and, at the same time, I could not reveal my feelings for you. I was afraid that you would – “

You could not believe what he was saying. Massimo, the man you thought would never love you, admitted his feelings for you. He was in love with you, and it was everything to you. You forgot about your plans, about the position you were in, about time and place. You forgot everything and did the only thing that felt right at that moment – you kissed Massimo, pouring all your love into the kiss.

You moved your hands from his chest and wrapped them around his neck to move his head closer to yours. Your lips started to move in one rhythm, and you opened your mouth to allow Massimo’s tongue to enter. As you continued to kiss, he took you in his arms and moved to the bed.

“Fuck the clothes!” With one fast movement Massimo threw your suitcase off the bed, and all your things fell on the floor.

You helped to take of his black dress shirt by ripping it apart. The buttons flew everywhere, and it made Massimo chuckle. He freed you of your shirt and then shorts, leaving you only in your gray underwear. You were able to see desire in his eyes, as he took a step back to take of his pants and look at your body.

You bit your lower lip at the view in front of you. A hot and very naked Italian god was standing in front of you, ready to take you. Scars and tattoos covered his body and made him look even hotter in your eyes. “Such a tease.” Massimo groaned, as he climbed over you.

You felt his member against your wet core and that turned you on even more. You closed your eyes, as his hands started to move over your stomach, towards your breasts. Massimo grabbed your breasts through the bra, and you pulled his hair when he bit into your neck.

While he was kissing your bare neck and shoulders and at the same time massaging your breasts, you grew impatient. Massimo moved lower and lover, and his lips found your breasts. He took of your underwear and took your left nipple in his mouth. He sucked and bit it, and with every movement you pulled his hair harder and harder.

While he continued to tease you by kissing and licking your body, you grew impatient and squeezed his member with your hand. Massimo hissed in return and stopped his actions, only to move higher and meet your lips. “I. Want. You. Now. Massimo.” You said between kisses and pressed your lower body closer to his. You were ready and wet for him. 

With one fast movement he trusted into you. Your walls wrapped themselves around his body, and you both moaned from the sensation. This was the first time when Massimo was inside you without any barrier. You could perfectly feel his long and hot member moving inside and outside you.

At this moment you did not care about getting pregnant. Everything was possible, and even if you would get pregnant, the baby would be loved by you and Massimo. You both had though about family together, but never talked about it loudly since both were afraid of rejection. You were afraid that he would leave you if you got pregnant, Massimo, on the other hand, was afraid that you would do an abortion.

Just like you, Massimo understood that from this moment everything changed, but most importantly, your relationship. You did know where this will go, but you knew only one thing – you will be in this together.

His trusts became faster and harder, and brought you closer to your release. “Let it go, baby girl.” Massimo groaned and then kissed you when you finally let it go and came. A Few trusts later he came too, spilling his hot seed inside you.

“I love you, Massimo.” You pressed a light kiss on his nose and smiled. “So, so much.”

Massimo took his member out and moved to the side to take you in his arms. Your head rested on his chest, and you felt his heartbeat under your hands. “You are my world, my everything. My heart is beating for you, and that is the reason why I cannot let you go.”

You moved your head to look at his face and with a smile said, “I am not going anywhere, not anymore.”

[cloveroctobers]

ELLADINE SARABI

IG info/bio: @/ellasardineabi | 18.5k followers | Artist | i was born with glass bones and paper skin♡

25 years old

Born & raised in Cardiff, Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

Father was in the n*vy and moved his family around a few times until he and his wife came to a agreement that it would be best for the family to grow up in one solid place

whereas he would leave for months at a time living elsewhere

Which was hard on the family at times since he is viewed as the rock of the family

He eventually left the n*vy after serving 20 years & was so thankful to, he hated it and how it messed with him mentally

He’s also of Iranian heritage

Her mother is of German heritage

Has her own restaurant that serves authentic German food

Both of her parents instilled hard work, discipline, generosity, and how to be practical in their children

Elladine is the middle child

Has a brother that is ten years older than her and then a younger sister who is seven years behind her

Canon: there is currently a discussion going on if they are going to bring their (maternal) nan/mam-gu home since the nursing home isn’t providing the proper care their nan needs

Her mother has a rocky relationship with her mother that she doesn’t like to discuss with her children but her husband knows all about it

Her nan has Alzheimer's and is becoming violent

it has become difficult seeing her most days

Elladine came into glassblowing after being involved in many classes in secondary such as workshop class

which became her fav since she was able to manipulate many materials such as metal, wood, and glass

She also took a auto body class which was interesting but she wasn’t too thrilled about it. Got away with a B- but knew she could do better if she really wanted to but she didn’t need the class to graduate so allow it

Currently works in a glass studio where her work is displayed/sold and she’s one of the main ones that makes great profit

has bought her own space for her own studio and is slowly making it to her liking with her assistant, yes she’s got one!

Hopes to be in that space within the next 6 months...it would have been a little sooner if we weren’t dealing with a global p*ndemic!!! but ya know life f*cking sucks sometimes!!!1!!:) especially if people don’t gaf

Moved back in with her parents so that she could not only help with her nan but get her studio ready, her parents approved since she was working towards something and realized her talent

I definitely see elladine going through a grunge phase and it probably still slips out every now and then lol

Her childhood room is still in shades of raspberry, gray, and a deep purple

always been plus-sized/fuller than the rest but it’s literally hereditary since her mom is built the same way who got it from her dad

Her family never made her feel ashamed as they shouldn’t and none of her true friends made her feel different since they were all of different sizes!!! besides who’s really friends with someone because of their bodies? Ur really ugly if that’s how u roll js

Always a respectful student and not too afraid to spark up a convo with you but can be a little nervous if the person is more of a “I have to warm up to you first” since she’ll feel like she’s annoying you if she carries the convo at first

Takes her time in relationships because she’s scared of getting hurt, cause breakups are not fun! Especially if theyre your friend on top of that

Although Friendship breakups are much worse let’s be honest here!!!

Has noticed that a few of her exes like to bring up that she’s controlling or too bossy in relationships and that makes her a little insecure since she doesn’t view it that way??

She knows what she wants and likes things a certain way, and she can see how it can kinda come off that way based on how she approaches/says things and tries to be better at toning it down and not being offensive to her significant others

Always has a plan and likes to follow it, she definitely keeps to-do lists on a daily

Takes trips to see Nicky often and vice-versa, every moment they spend together feels like it’s meant to be, even when it’s them just simply chilling in each other’s spaces, he’s truly one of her best friends and he feels like the missing part of her life

He offered for her to move in with him but elladine didn’t accept it since she wanted to be there to help with her nan and in fact—she wanted to be the one to ask HIM to move in with her

but if they make it long enough, they’ll go house hunting together...maybe

I get Shawn/Angela relationship vibes from them (boy meets world for those who aren’t aware of this couple and I’m not just saying this because they’re interracial as well lol) did I say this already about someone else? Brain fart lol

everyone relationship has their flaws so when they hit a bump in the road...elladine immediately wants to fix it but it comes off as more critiquing, moodiness/blaming the other

while Nicky can be defensive/argumentive/a little condescending on his end

To get through it, they normally go on a walk together in complete silence until they’re ready to speak again or they take a break from each other

I think words of affirmation is her love language

Taurus sun + Virgo moon + Capricorn rising?

“The girl on the motorcycle” is one of her fav films — no this is not metaphoric to her love life

Loves watching things with captions on since she always finds herself doing something else while watching anything (which irks Nicky a little bit but that’s just the way elladine is and he loves her so he deals with it)

Will rewind something if she missed it too

Canon: never had morning sex before

but can now say she has ;) & understands the pros people say about it and it outweighs the cons in her book

Will start the whole song over too if she missed her fav part in it

She also enjoys billiards since her brother used to work in a pool hall and when he had to watch her because she was “too young” in her words to stay home by herself he would take her there even tho technically she wasn’t supposed to be there but he was screwing his boss’s daughter so it was quite fine

her sister has a crush on Gary & ships elladine with him, which they joke about every now and then + he doesn’t follow her back, which is okay! Not a big deal but her sister keeps sliding in his dms (he’s now single)

She NEVER thought she would be on THE love island and wasn’t that confident that she’d find a real love that carried on outside of the show but Nicky has proven her wrong 🥲

She’s 5’5–5’6

Probably shops at Zara & top shop and has no issue picking pieces that flatter her “pear” figure, she loves all that is of her body: the pudge, love handles, cellulite and all (she’s very confident and won’t let anyone see her moments of doubt when it comes to her frame)

Loves mythology but will tell bill stfu if he comes near her trying to argue about anything in that subject

Very competitive and will rush through certain things, leaving one to think that she’ll fail somewhere but rarely does

If she’s not near or away from the mountains or the sea for long period of time she gets very moody!!! Guess that’s the Welsh in her huh?

Loves fireplaces, they’re super cozy and very romantic if you catch ella’s drift 😏

Probably smells like jasmine & pink pepper idk

Wants to travel to Iceland one day

Knows her way around a car but dreads having to get it fixed or fixing it herself?

Loves driving until her road rage kicks in? Oh you’re gonna go around her to get in front of her? Never that. She’ll always be in front of you and will break check you if you try her “Drewgi” she mutters

Early riser and goes to bed early too lol

She’s the crying drunk lmao

Automatically vieve has become one of her best friends from the villa but it deff didn’t feel forced like it normally would have just because their bfs have a podcast together, they talk about everything together. EVERYTHING! It feels like she’s the big sister she never had, yet they’re only a year apart lol

They have ft sleepovers and man is it fun!

Forgave lily but at the same time can’t fully see herself being friends with her like vieve tried to encourage before they went on the yacht...sorry everything can’t be Kumbaya over here sis

It sucks to say but it was easier? She doesn’t know if that’s the right term or not... for her to forgive rafi than it was lily and it’s fucked up but that’s the way it is. It’s not like she contacts him on seperate messages or anything like that! She’ll talk to him via group chat and that’s pretty much it. She knows it was all part of the show and production’s bs for ratings but that doesn’t mean it still didn’t hurt

Wishes him success on his shows/movies but doesn’t engage/watch them

What does she post? I feel like she posts maybe three times a month and a lot are outfit pics but tends to go live more so to chat with the people! She’ll also show all what glassblowing entails while chatting away! She loves that part and is pretty open about things but knows how to keep some things private

Personally wasn’t the biggest fan of season 1 but admits she wishes she had mc’s balls in terms of what she would have done if she was in elladine’s place when lily picked Nicky, “ugh! I wish I had her strength rising through my veins in that moment. Absolute riot. Adore her.”

‘“Licky” is a ugly ass ship name anyways so who’s really winning here?!’

Celeb crushes? Iwan Rheon, Henry Zaga, Anthony Welsh, jason derulo, & LaRoyce Hawkins

Listens to: soleima, Marisa Maino, Ava Max, poppy, Caroline polachek, Donny Hathaway, Phil Good, & SAINt JHN

Anthem — M.I.A. “Bad Girls”

[jesangel1503]

30 Day Challenge:Day 3 Topic

LET´S TALK ABOUT FRIENDSHIP

I can see this is a quite interesting but a bit sensitive topic for me. I just needed a time off to clear my mind so I can be able to cogitate on this familiar topic for everyone.

Let´s go straight to some few facts about friendship? Where did this word even came from?

So I browsed in and found out that friendship is a word of Germanic origin has existed in the English language since its founding in Old English. Back then, ‘friend’ existed as ‘frond’ which was the present participle of the verb fron, ‘to love’. The root of the verb was ‘fr-’ which meant ‘to like, love, or be affectionate to’. We can still see the remnants of this verb every day of the week- Friday or ‘day of Frigg’ is devoted to the Germanic goddess of love Frigg.

Source: whitesmoke.com

So much for it´s root word, let´s do some more researching. Many famous people have shared their thoughts about what friendship is for them. Now, maybe we can get some friendspiration from them!

Helen Keller

"I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light."

J.K. Rowling

"It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends."

Abraham Lincoln

"Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?"

Eleanor Roosevelt

"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart"

Bob Marley

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for”

William Shakespeare

“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.”

Jennifer Lawrence

‘‘No matter how tired I am, I get dinner at least once a week with my girlfriends. Or have a sleepover. Otherwise my life is just all work.”

Marilyn Monroe

“Experts on romance say for a happy marriage there has to be more than a passionate love. For a lasting union, they insist, there must be a genuine liking for each other. Which, in my book, is a good definition for friendship.”

Drew Barrymore

“What’s helped me is having really good friends I know I can rely on. Cameron Diaz is one of the greatest friends anyone can ever have. She has so much love to give.”

Selena Gomez

“Every single problem I ever have is healable by Taylor Swift. If I ever I have an issue, Taylor has gone through it – she gives the most thought-out answers. And what I love about Taylor is that she does believe in the whole love story and Prince Charming and soul mates. Because of her, I haven’t lost faith.”

Emma Watson

“My two best girlfriends are from secondary school. I don’t have to explain anything to them. I don’t have to apologise for anything. They know.”

Jennifer Aniston

“We come from homes far from perfect, so you end up almost parent and sibling to your friends – your own chosen family. There’s nothing like a really loyal, dependable, good friend. Nothing.”

Oprah Winfrey

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”

Ariana Grande

“The best part about having true friends is that you can go months without seeing them and they’ll still be there for you and act as if you’d never left!.”

Whew, they are really inspiring isn´t it? But lemme give you bits of how I view and value friendship. So I´d like to answer some of these challenging questions I have found and that maybe can help me dig in to what´s really coming to my mind about this topic. As you read along, you are free to answer on your own and find out? Well, this is a writing therapy for me. I thought it might be nice to put my thoughts into writing and share it with you ( Well, only if you are interested to do so) But yes, this is entirely my thoughts. Some of you might disagree about my answers and what I have been writing in this little writing space of mine, but I don´t really care! As I have said, this is my therapy. If you judge me based on my thoughts, it´s totally on you and if that amuses you, well IT WILL BE MY PLEASURE :)

QUESTIONS ABOUT FRIENDSHIP

Can you describe one of your closest friends.

It´s so hard to choose which one of them that I particularly should talk about. All of them are special to me in their unique ways. But let me describe you one of my bestfriends, whom I met when I was an aupair in the first town I lived in here in Denmark. It´s funny though because this friend of mine, came to me by fate and the first time we met, we just click, you know. Like she´s that angel from heaven, who´ve brought me and would bribed me with food to keep me from not ditching school, because for her, it would be boring without me, and that she’d prefer me than the other filipino ones at the school. She would just call me and say, “Hey, wake up and get dressed. We´re off to school,and ahh uh don´t even say a word because I am already here, parked outside your house waiting for you. And, I´ve brought us Dinuguan and Pancit for lunch! Hurry!”.. So hard to refuse right? Oh yes, she is that kind. There are no other negative feeling around her, around us everytime we were together. We got along well so fast even at the very first day we´ve met. Since then, we hang out a lot. Sometimes cutting classes and going off to the second hand shop in town together or hit the mall, or just eat out in our favorite eat all you can Asian Restaurant. It´s just pure and honest friendship. I could sense she feels the same way too. It was never hard to be myself when I am with her. You know that feeling where you can´t feel any insecurities at all and you don´t feel that you are judged whenever you are sharing sensitive moments with her. I could say that is one of those few and rare friendship I have that I truly treasure the most. 

Do you have any childhood friendships that are still strong today? Tell us about them.

I have a childhood bestfriend, and we have shared plenty of childhood memories together. I have been born in a family with no sisters so she is like a sister to me. Back then, she was living with her family in a house just a few walks from our house. I always spend time with her at their place when my parents were not home from work and she would come for a sleepover at our house during some of the weekends.. During my trip home last 2017, we were able to spend time together for a week. And still it´s as if things between us haven´t changed at all. She is still that friend who turned into family, and we assured each other that we we´re still gonna have each other´s back no matter what. Up until now, we´re still able to catch up, though I could say only through online. We both think we´re okay with the LDR thing. Haha! 

Do you have any long distance friends?

I have, in fact, so many of them! As I reside now in Denmark, so the only communication we have is the internet. The first one I talked about she lives in the UK and my childhood friend lives in the Philippines. Most of my other closest friends are residing in the Philippines, UK, US, Australia, Canada, Japan and a few ones in the Middle East.  

Do you think it is a good idea to borrow money from a friend? Why or why not?

This is a quite sensitive topic for me. But I do have views regarding friends and money matters. You know, in my entire life, I have tried to avoid situations involving friendship and money. I just don´t. I mean, I cherish people so much, and to ruin a relationship and lose a cherished friend because of money issues is a bit awful for me. I’d rather NOT. Just NO. 🙏🏻

Do you make friends easily?

I can make friends easily. And I do have a loud mouth. I am so excited to meet new people and talk with random people on the street and just smile and say hi. For me, it´s a bit of heartwarming when people comes to you, say hi, talk to you and get excited to know you. So I often think people would also want that. But given the fact that many people are too reserved, I also know my boundaries. It´s only when I feel like people would also wanna chat. I mean, like saying hi to the old lady beside me in a bus full of busy people. It could be lonely to be old, I think. Not many people are interested in talking to them. A few old people I met and talked with, they were all excited and thrilled to talked with me about their day, about their lives and jobs before and what life meant for them. For me, they have seen a lot and experienced a lot from all those years living in this world. It´s just compelling to learn from them! 

Has a friend ever let you down?

I have experienced it many times. But based from it, I always try my best to understand them and listen to them more. Humans as we are, we often make mistakes. And that includes letting a friend down. May it be a small or a big deal, but friends that are meant to last, are the friends, who still thinks of how to mend things up than to make things worst. So a friend´s apology and forgiveness is always the best ingredients to make things last.

If the trust was broken, and there is no way you can bring back what you both have had before. I just let go and pray for them. In life you will learn who you should trust and it´s always gonna be the ones who will still be there for you despite the odds. You will learn a lot by gaining and losing friends. 

Have you made any friends over the Internet?

I do have a plenty of them, with a few true ones though. But I do treat them as rare jewels that have helped me with my sanity being away from my family. I find it peculiar at first, but I have developed such strong bonds online, to take note that we haven´t even met yet! How cool is that!? Knowing and learning from a person you never met, sharing various experiences, thoughts, opinions are quite an overwhelming experience. When you get to know someone online, whom you can confide feelings to especially the things you can never share with anyone from your family or friends personally, was such a great help for me. During my first few months in Denmark, I have suffered a lot from a breakup plus the difficult adjustment phase I was going through by then. Living in a foreign country was quite a challenge for me. Even though I have my cousins and some few friends, but it was not enough by then. Because at the end of a tiring day, alone in a room, it was nice and comforting to have some people online, listening to your rants and cheering you up and helping you get your mind off the negativity and mind bugging thoughts and worries. I could say they are the ones I´d like to keep and hoping I can personally meet some of them someday too!

How do you maintain a good friendship?

I always make time to let them know that I still think and care about them. And of course, to never ever forget each of their special occassions!

How many people do you consider your "best friends?"

4 bestfriends; One is a bestfriend from my childhood years, one bestfriend from highschool, another one from college, one bestfriend whom I met in Denmark. 4 online bestfriends, one of which I already met. 

What is a best friend?

For me, a best friend is a special connection between 2 people, where there is mutual understanding of each other, where there is a bond of trust, openness, willingness to care and look out for one another, despite the distance and circumstances. Where two people feel there is no need pretending, where they can both be themselves when they are together and where two people thinks of each other as their own PERSON to run to, and be comfortable with.

What is the longest friendship that you have had?

My childhood friend; we have been friends since we were so little. So maybe that´s what you call a friend for a lifetime. 

What qualities do you think are important in a friend?

When you don´t get judged by the person and when they don´t talk negative things behind you and without you knowing.

What things should friends never do?

For me, I don´t like to compare myself with my friends. They have their own skills, talents, and own beautiful and unique lives. So maybe that is what a friend should watch out for. Insecurity and jealousy are both destructive in so many ways. Just be happy for a friend´s success and achievements.

Do you think it is possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex without becoming a girlfriend or boyfriend?

Oh, I do have a lot of friends from the opposite sex. I do happen to have one really close to me, so from a certain time, we were calling ourselves bessies. But, it did not last long. We both have jealous partners by then, so to respect each others partners, we agreed to have boundaries and thus avoiding conflicts as much as possible. 

I also often get cringey whenever a male friend of mine that´s close to me, then we´ve had our bond, and then he gets a girlfriend, and i often get jealous, but not that I have feelings for the guy, but as a female friend, I just get jealous and often felt bad about lack of attention from him afterwards. So I tend to not get too close with male friends because I know it will just turn me nuts! But I am improving myself to just be understanding and to wish all the best for them! It is the best thing I could maybe offer to a close male friend of mine if ever.

Do you think it would be possible for you still be friends with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend?

Of course, but only if all issues were resolved. So it´s totally okay and possible for me to still be friends with my exes. I mean, they were also a part of my life and we´ve shared some good memories together too! I am teaching myself not to be bitter with the past you know. It´s good not to hold grudge on anyone especially when they were once the people you cared most and loved you as well.

Do you believe your parents should be your friends?

My parents are my friends. And so as my brother. It´s been like that in my family. It always feel better when they are ones comforting you than anybody else.

What do you like best about your best friend(s)?

They are still there for me, even if they are far away, and if I see them again, it´s still gonna be the same, no insecurities, no pretendings and no negativity. 

What are some ways your best friend has influenced your life in a positive way?

One of my bestfriend´s view about God inspired me the most. We have the same thoughts and often go late to sleep talking about a lot of stuff about life and religion. That means a lot to me.

What do you do when you have a misunderstanding with your friend?

If it was my fault, I often offer an apology. And if it´s the other way around, I always show that I can listen and try my best to understand their reason and forgive if necessary.

What type of people do you get along with best?

I don´t prefer any types actually. I just sync in with them. I think when people are meant to have a lasting impression on you, they just do. Because I think the universe conspires the people whom you will meet. Some will come and stay, some will just go and maybe leave something for you to learn. So for me, I just blend in when someone comes along and get on with the flow. I always follow the positivity flow. If i can sense a negative vibe, I tend to not fully entrust myself. Though I give many chances to people, for I always believe that sometimes the people I met and how they are, if they mean or like that negative, is because of what they have been going through in life. May it be a bad experience or a childhood trauma. We should always shed light to these people and give room for them to be understood.

What quality do you admire most in people and which one do you find the most objectionable?

If I happen to met someone who´s mind is just as beautiful as their face or personality, and then it´s just natural for us to have a good conversation in a way that´s not awkward and trying hard. Then it´s my type of person..  I don´t care if we have different views, I am bound to respect all of them. It´s just when a person knows how to choose the right words and right thoughts in that certain moment, then I am going to be rooting for that person. 

Tbh, I don´t fancy people who praises themselves a lot and think that they are always right all the time. And also, even when in an argument, no matter how big or small the issue, it´s always the tone of voice that matters to me the most.  How you say something affects what you say.  

Is getting along with others a natural ability from birth or does it have to be learnt?

For me, getting along with others is a continuing learning process. I mean up to now, I am still learning and developing my skills every day because I love to keep people who are worth keeping. And I believe there is no such skill that one can be born with a natural talent for getting along with others. It must also first be taught at home. The family is the necessary factor to develop one´s values of friendship and we will just continue to learn more and hone it as we venture out into the big world.

How important is forgiveness in human relationships?

I have been taught that it is an essential thing for us to grow and be matured. Forgiving is accepting one´s offering of peace and understanding that he or she have made a mistake and is willing to make up for it. And so as asking for forgiveness. We often commit mistakes and hurt people, that´s how human we are. So it´s important to lower one´s pride and ask for forgiveness, no matter how hard it may be. Accepting one´s own mistakes is an act of maturity, and i can say it´s also not easy but it´s necessary for human´s social growth and behavioural adaptability in the society.

Do you tell your best friend everything?

It´s funny because each of my bestfriends have their own unique qualities; one is better at the whole education and knowledge thing, other one is good at the practical thing and wise things, the other one I can confide some sexual issues and other emotional things and one I can have a good conversation about God and life. So basically, I don´t tell everything to each one of them but I go to one where I need their expertise and where they can also relate from.

Where is a good place to meet a new boyfriend/girlfriend?

I don´t think there is such a good place to meet a new bf or gf. It will just come to you as if the universe worked on it so he or she will get to where you are and bump into you. You just need to be patient. And if there is no one, just be your own gf or bf. What´s important is you love yourself and happiness is from, within you. You can still be happy without someone. You just need to unleash that thought in your mind often.

So much for this friendship thing, I hope I don´t bore you too much. Well, write to me if ever you have other thoughts about what I wrote! Ciao!

[eugenesmorphine]

Forgotten Feelings// Joe Toye Imagine

Taglist: @alienoresimagines

I bounced my knee up and down. I chewed on my finger nails as I slipped off my Garrison cap and sat on the edge of my seat. Anxiety flourished throughout my body as the ship carrying thousands Marines, soldiers, sailors, and many other men came to a stop. All I could think of was seeing my two closest friends from Easy. Bill Gaurnere and Joe Toye. I hadn't seen them in so long, not since Bastogne when the Joe got hit by German artillery and lost his leg. And Bill also got hit when he went to go help Joe, also losing his leg. I had watched it happen. The cries of Joe and the image of their legs laying in the snow, blood staining it red. I remember just standing there after watching them get hit, I was right next to Buck Compton. Both of us dropped our helmets and just stood frozen. I had to just watch my two closest friends get carried away, their groans and cries of pain replaying in my mind, each night that I had tried to sleep.

  Now here I was , grabbing my bag and beginning to make my way off the ship. So many different thoughts filled my head whilst I walked. Where they even alive? Hell, I was told nothing about where the might be. Not their conditions or anything like that. So that left me to wonder for all this time, what had happened to them. And it was up to just me to answer my own questions.

 I missed my friends, especially Joe. I never realized how much they truly meant to me before they had been shipped back to the states while I was stuck in Europe. As much as Bill was one of my closest friends, Joe was just stuck in my head much for. The reasons because that over the time we had became friends all those years ago back in Camp Toccoa, I had fallen for Mr. Joe Toye. I couldn't help it in all honesty. He was good looking, protective over me and his friends, he was an overall nice man. Though, I couldn't really understand why I fell for him, or when I did. I only realized my feelings when we reached Bastogne and him and I shared a foxhole. Exclusivley when we had to cuddle up with each other in attempt to keep warm. Though, when he was carted away out of Bastogne, my world seemed to fall apart. I remember how my heart shattered, hearing his cries of , "I gotta get up," over and over again. And when I sat in my foxhole all alone, I cried that night. I cried for hours. I had been afraid of my feelings for the Paratrooper, so I kept them bottled up deep down inside. Though, I regretted it so much. Now, I knew that if I saw him, I'm going to tell him.

 I hopped off the ship, immediately making my way through the sea of families and military personnel. I tried to push through the many groups of reuniting people. The sounds of shouting one's name, cries, laughter, and even more shouting filled the air. I just wanted to reach the curbside and call a taxi. The only thing on my mind was to just get to that rehab center where I was told Joe and Bill might be. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. I was scared what I might be faced with. Though, that is what I was doing here. To get answers, right?

 I had got a taxi and told them the name of the hospital and sat back in the seat. I stared out the window as the car drove. I pressed my lips together as I sighed. I was nervous, more nervous than I thought. What was I nervous for? I just tried to keep my breathing regulated as I folded my hands onto my lap. Now one thought rested in my mind. How on Earth was I going to tell Joe the feelings I feel for him.

///

 The ride was about thirty or so minutes and we arrived to the hospital. I thanked the nice driver and paid him the money owed. I placed my Garrison cap on my head and shuffled myself out of the out of the backseat of the taxi. I went to the truck and grabbed my bag, shutting the trunk and hitting it a few times. And with that, the taxi took off down the street. I watched until it came into view, then turning my attention to the building in front of me. For a moment I froze, I just couldn't move. My breath hitched as my grasp on my bag tightened. I shut my eyes for a second and took a deep breath. There was nothing to be afraid of. I opened my eyes and made my way into the building. The sound of my heels clicking against the concrete as I walked towards it.

  When I walked in, I took a moment to see my surroundings. The walls of this Rehabilitation Hospital were bland, very monotone. Most the walls just white or a creme color. It was a hospital after all. Nurses and doctors walked around the area. Some patients in wheel chairs scattered the area. I just took a breath and tilted my head up high. I could do this, there wasn't anything to fear. And with that, I made my way to the front desk. A woman sat behind the desk, working on paperwork. Seeming to not notice my presence because she just sat and did her paperwork whilst I stood there awkwardly. Eventually, after a little while, I cleared my throat and she jumped slightly.

 "Oh my, I'm sorry, I didn't even notice you standing there! Are you here for a visit?" her voice was kind and a soft smile not leaving her face once. I smiled back softly, realizing how different it was from being stuck in Europe, dealing with Krauts left and right. Now, back here, after all those years, I kind of forgot how nice it was to just have a nice conversation with a person, a normal one. I nodded my head and looked at her name tag on her chest.

 "Well, Peggy, I'm Y/N, and I'm here to visit Bill Gaurnere and Joe Toye," I asked, my heart felt like it was stuck in my throat. I prayed mentally that this was the place, and the fact that were actually alive. I sucked in my bottom lip and chewed on it slightly. Tapping my foot slightly as I watched her flip through some papers quickly.

 "Ah yes! Right here! Mr. Gaurnere and Mr. Toye are in rooms 171 and 172!" she said with a smile. I closed my eyes and a feeling of relief coursed through my veins. I opened them and nodded towards her. I thanked her quickly and began briskly walking down the hallway. The only sound to be heard in the quiet hallway was the sound of my heels colliding with the tiles. I tried to keep myself calm as I went to see Bill first.

  I stopped and read the sign that said the number '171'. I stood in front of it for a second. I took a deep breath and walked in, knocked on the door frame as I walked through softly. I looked at the hospital bed that came into view. A familiar face came into view and a smile lit up my face. "Aye nurse I-" once Bill turned his head over to me, he froze. A small smile grew on his lips and he propped himself up in his bed. "Oh my god, Y/N!" he exclaimed happily. I giggled slightly and ran over, going to hug him. He wrapped his arms tightly me and then let go. "Holy shit kid, I didn't know you were coming. Hell i didn't even know you were alive! Does Joe know you're here?" he asked and I shook my head.

 "I wanted to surprise you guys. I missed my two best friends from Easy! And no, Mr. Joe Toye doesn't know I'm here," I winked and laughed slightly, earning a chuckle from the Italian. My eyes wondered down to where his leg used to be. My smile faded slightly and my eyes went back to him. "Does it... does it hurt?" I asked softly. I felt awful about it. I felt like I could've done something to prevent them from losing their legs. If I went to help Joe instead of him, or went and found Joe to get him to our foxhole. The thought process was ongoing and never stopped. All I knew was that I should've been me.

 I watched as Bill shook his head. "Nah, it hurts every once and a while, but nothing old Wild Bill Gaurnere can't handle," he spoke proudly and nudged my shoulder. I chuckled slightly and looked down at my lap. Bill must have sensed my emotions and could see the gears in my brain shifting. "You alright kid?" he asked softly. Whenever asked anyone that, it always felt like the straw that broke the camels back. I felt tears rush to my eyes and I quickly bit down on my lip. I took a big breath and I dabbed my eyes real quick with my sleeve, looking back over at my old friend. A weak smile plastered onto my face,

 "Yeah. Yeah I'm alright Bill," my voice slightly hoarse. My gaze fell back to my lap. I felt Bill reach his hand over and turn my face towards him. I looked at him. He could see straight through my bullshit. His brown eyes piercing through me. His hand went to my shoulder and he squeezed it softly.

 "It wasn't your fault what happened to Joe and I, Y/N. Shit like this happens in war all the time," he spoke softly. Bill only spoke like this if he was trying to cheer me up or get through to me. It was rare he spoke this way to me. I chuckled sadly as I shut my eyes. No matter how many people told me that what happened was my fault, or that I couldn't have done anything to change it, no matter what I just think it was my fault. Or I could've done something, just anything to change what happened to my two best friends.

 "Bill, I could've done something to change this. Anything! I wasn't thinking. I should've been there. But no, I was shooting the shit with George instead of being in my foxhole with Joe and he went to find me! And you went to go help him!" my voice shook. One tear slipped down my cheek as I looked at Bill, his eyes saddened at the sight. Though, I could tell he didn't know what to say. So I just turned to look in front of me whilst I wiped away the tear. Now sitting in silence.

 After a few moments of silence, I heard Bill pipe up. "You still love him don't you?" he asked, raising and eyebrow at me. I whipped my head to look at him. The look of shock was painted on my face. He knew? How the hell did he know? I didn't even tell him. He chuckled softly and closed his eyes for a second. "I knew before you even knew. I saw the way you looked at Joe, how your eyes lit up when he walked over. How you laughed at when he made jokes," he laughed. My mouth fell open, I was at a loss for words. Though, Bill had more to say. "He loved you just as much Y/N. He would talk about you constantly when it was just him and I. It got to the point where a lot of the times I had to shut him up! But, now, uh.. he didn't know if you were ever coming back," Bill said. My face reddened, though Bill clearly had more to say. But seemed like he just didn't want to.

 "What do you mean Bill? I know you have more to say, so just spit it out now," I said, leaning closer to him. I was interested, pulled right in. I mean, he hooked me in just by saying Joe had loved me just as much as I did. A toothy grin shined on my face as I sat and waited for Bill to start talking again. Though, his smile had faded and his gaze avoided mine. Little did I know, the words Bill was going to say would crush my little heart even more than it had been before. Though, I was blinded by my own stupidity it almost seemed.

 "Well, Joe fell for a nurse that had been working with him all this time. He didn't know you were going to ever come back. I don't know if he lost feelings or just locked them away. But, I'm sorry kiddo. But, now that you're back, it might be different," each words felt like a harsh stab to the chest. My smile slowly faded into a frown as I let out a few breaths. Tears came back to prick at my eyes. I gulped and looked away. I was too late. Like always. I felt Bill's burning gaze on me. His hand went back to my shoulder and rubbed it slightly. "I'm sorry kid," he whispered. I just shook my head slightly and swallowed hard. I stood up and looked at him.

 "It was nice seeing you Bill, I'll be back to visit soon," my voice slightly broken and hurried. I went down and gave him a quick hug and turned quickly to walk out the door. Trying to ignore the sad look Bill had been giving me. I walked out into the hallways and found a small bench and I sat on it. My focus going to the floor as I just got lost in it. The hard lump in my throat returned quickly and the hot tears quickly wet my cheek. My bottom lip quivered slightly as a soft cry left my lips. My face went into my hands as I cried for a little while. I was just too late. How stupid was I to think that I would ever end up with a man like Joe Toye.

 Soon after my little melt down, I dried my tears and straightened myself out. I might as well visit him now. See if anything changed. I stood myself up and flattened out my skirts. I tilted my chin up, shutting my eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath. I let the air out of chest and opened my eyes. I looked at the room next to Bill's. The door was open and my heart beat rose. I gulped as I slowly began walking towards it. Each step my brain was yelling at me to just stop and run out of there and never come back. But, each step my heart just kept telling me to go for it. What did I have to lose now?

  I stepped through the door frame, and knocked softly. As I entered, I saw a nurse sitting on the edge of his bed. My eyes traveled and I saw his face. The man I had fallen in love with Joe Toye. He was smiling at the nurse and using his left hand to play with the ends of her blonde hair. I just stood there, not knowing if I was in a state of shock or just awkwardness. The two looked up at me. The nurse quickly shot up and gave him and awkward smile and a goodbye. She looked at me but kept her gaze low. It was the same nurse from the reception desk. Peggy. The name circled around my mind as my eyes followed her as she left. I turned to look back at Joe. He was propping himself up, his eyes and face filled with shock. I smiled weakly at him.

 "Holy shit. Y/N!" He exclaimed. A smile formed on his face. God, I fell in love all over again. His eyes had lit up along with his face. He motioned me over and walked over slowly. I sat on the edge of his bed. I was at a loss for words. He was back in front of me, alive and well it seemed. "I can't believe your actually here. I thought you weren't ever to come back," he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. He voice filled with happiness, shock, though with a strange hint of confusion.

 "I wanted to surprise you and Bill, I already visited Bill," I smiled. He nodded and just kind of looked at his lap. I kept my eyes on him, I could see the cogs in his brain working up a storm. There was something on his mind. I had only been there for like seven minutes. "You alright?" I asked softly. He snapped out of his short daze and looked at me and nodded.

"Yeah, yeah I'm alright. Just thinking," is what he responded with. I pressed my lips together. I knew what he was thinking about. He was fine until I entered the room. He glanced up at me and our eyes locked for about a minute. It was silent for a moment. "I really missed you Y/N," He spoke quietly. Barely above a whisper. My emotions took over and I used my hand to gently touch her cheek while I pressed my lips onto his. Firmly, but sweetly. I had yearned for this moment ever since I realized my feelings for this man. And now I had it. Though, the feeling of him kissing back and pulling me towards him slightly made the feeling so much better.

 The moment was cut short though when he pulled away and looked at me. I smiled at him, but he didn't smile back. I was confused and I raised an eyebrow at him. He shook his head slightly and I leaned away. "Did I do something wrong?" I asked. I just looked at him. He just looked at his alp and his mouth hug open slightly. I could hear him stutter out a few times before he swallowed.

 "No, it's just, I don't know. I like you like that, but I don't know if I do. I thought you weren't coming back and," Joe rambled on. This wasn't the Joe that I used to know. His words didn't exactly make the most sense. But, in a way, I understood. I just put my hand up, signaling to for Joe to save his breath. And with that he looked at me and shut his mouth. I chuckled softly and stood. I grabbed my bag and looked back Joe.

 "I get it Joe. Figure it out first," was all I said before walking towards the door. Though, I stopped and waited, not turning towards. "Bye Joseph," I said as I left the room. I hoped he would make the right decision for himself. But, deep down I hoped he would make it fast. I just didn't want to be stuck in the waiting game any longer. And with that, I left the hospital, eyeing that nurse Peggy as I left. I went to a hotel and stayed there for a bit, figuring that I wouldn't go back and visit for a while.

  That night, I spent the night thinking of Joe and his decision. Though, that was like most nights. And I could only hope that he was thinking the same.

[buzzdixonwriter]

CASTLE KEEP: An Analysis

Few movies resonate as deeply with me as Castle Keep.

It is truly sui generis.

It’s a deceptively simple story: In the waning days of WWII, eight walking wounded American soldiers occupy a castle in Belgium, a token sign of force as the war rages past them. The castle belongs to a noble family who owned it for generations and stocked it with a vast collection of priceless rare and irreplaceable classical art. The current count wants to keep his castle and his collection intact, but he also wants a son to carry on the family name and tradition. He is, unfortunately, impotent. And even more unfortunately, the castle is located in the Ardennes forest, on the road to Bastogne…

Now, those raw elements are more than enough to fuel a perfectly good run of the mill WWII movie, with plenty of bang-bang-shoot-em-up and some obligatory musings on the meaning of it all.

And I’m sure that’s the way they pitched Castle Keep.

But director Sydney Pollack and screenwriters Daniel Taradash and David Rayfiel (adapting the eponymous novel by William Eastlake) delivered something far more…well…phantasmagorical is as apt a way of describing it as any.

Because despite being solid grounded in a real time and a real place and a real event, Castle Keep moves out of the realm of mere history and into a much more magical place.

Not so much fact, as fable.

And as fable, it gets closer to the Truth.

. . .

Before we analyze the movie, let’s set the contextual stage.

First off, understand the impact WWII movies still had on audiences of the 1960s and early 70s.

For those who lived through the war years, it occurred scarcely more than 20 years earlier, a period that seems like forever to teenagers and young adults but flies past in the blink of an eye when one reaches middle age and beyond.

Not only were WWII movies popular, they were relatively easy to make.  A lot of countries still used operational Allied and German equipment up through the 1960s (Spain’s air force stood in for the Luftwaffe in 1969’s The Battle Of Britain), and for low budget black and white films or pre-living color TV, ample archival and stock footage padded things out.

Most importantly, WWII was a shared experience insofar as younger audiences grew up hearing from their parents what it was like, and as a result there was some degree of relatability between the Greatest Generation and their children, the Boomers.

But the times, they were a’changin’ as Dylan sang, and the rise of the counter-culture in the 1960s and the civil rights, feminist, and ant-Vietnam War movements (and boy howdy, is that a hot of history crammed into one sentence but you’re just gonna hafta roll with me on this one, folks; we’ll examine that era in greater detail at some point in the future but not today, not today…) led to younger audiences looking at WWII with fresh eyes and to older film makers re-evaluating their own experiences.

So to focus on WWII films of the time, understand their were 3 main threads running through the era:

The epic re-enactment typified by The Longest Day (1961), The Battle Of The Bulge (1965), Patton (1970), and ending with A Bridge Too Far in 1977

The cynical revisionism of The Dirty Dozen (1967), Where Eagles Dare (1968), and Kelly’s Heroes (1970)*

The absurdity of How I Won The War (1967) and Catch-22 (1970)

Castle Keep brushes past all those sub-genres, though it comes closest to absurdity.

. . .

While released in 1969, Castle Keep started development as early as 1966 (the novel saw print in 1965).  Burt Lancaster, attached early on as the star, requested Sydney Pollack as director.

Pollack, an established TV director, started making a name for himself in the mid-1960s with films like The Slender Thread and This Property Is Condemned; he and Lancaster worked together on The Scalphunters prior to Castle Keep.

While his first three films were well received, Pollack’s career really took off with his fifth movie, They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? and after that it was a string of unbroken successes including Jeremiah Johnson, The Way We Were, The Three Days Of The Condor, Tootsie, Out Of Africa, and many, many more.

In fact, the only apparent dud in the barrel is Castle Keep, his fourth movie.  

Castle Keep arrived at an…uh…interesting juncture in American (and worldwide) cinema history.

The old studio system that served Hollywood so well unraveled at the seams, the old way of doing business and making movies just didn’t seem to work anymore.

Conversely, the new style wasn’t winning that many fans, either.

For every big hit like Easy Rider there were dozens of films like Candy and Puzzle Of A Downfall Child and Play It As It Lays and Alex In Wonderland.

As I commented at the time, it seemed as if everybody in Hollywood had forgotten how to make movies.

It was a period rife with experimentation, but the thing about experiments is that they don’t always work.  While there were some astonishingly good films in this era, by and large it’s difficult for modern audiences to fully appreciate what the experimental films of the era were trying to do -- and in no small part because when they succeeded, the experiments became part of the cinematic language, but when they failed…

Castle Keep is not a perfect film.  As much as I love it, I need to acknowledge its flaws.

The Red Queen brothel sequences feel extraneous, not really worked into the film.  Women are often treated like eye candy in male dominated war films, but this is exceptionally so.  Brothels and prostitution certainly existed during WWII, servicing both sides and all comers, but the Red Queen’s ladies undercut points the film makes elsewhere.  

Their participation in the penultimate battle shifts the film -- however briefly -- from the absurd to the ridiculous, and apparently negative audience testing resulted in a shot being inserted showing them alive and well and cheering despite a German tank blasting their establishment just a few moments earlier.

Likewise, an action sequence in the middle of the film where a German airplane is shot down also seems like studio pressure to add a little action to the first two-thirds of the movie. 

Apparently unable to obtain a Luftwaffe fighter of the era, Pollack and the producers opted for an observation aircraft, then outfitted it with forward firing machine guns, something such aircraft never carried.

Once the airplane spotted the American soldiers at the castle, it would have flown away to avoid being shot down, not return again and again in futile strafing runs while they returned fire.

It’s action for the sake of action, and like the Red Queen scenes actually undercuts other points the film makes.

. . .

But when the film works, ah, it works gloriously…

Pollack used a style common in films of the late 1960s and early 70s:  Jump cuts from one time and place to another, with no optical transition or establishing shot to signal the jump to the audience.

Star Wars brought the old school style of film making back in a big way, and ya know what?  Old school works; it was lessons learned the hard way and by long experience.

Still, Pollack’s jump cuts add to Castle Keep’s dreamy, almost hallucinogenic ambiance, and that in turn reinforces the sense of fable that permeates the film.

For as historically accurate as Castle Keep is re the Battle of the Bulge, as noted above it is not operating in naturalism but rather the theater of myth and magic.

Pollack prefigures this early on with a dreamy slow motion sequence of cloaked riders galloping through the dead trees of the Ardennes forest, jumping a fence directly in front of the jeep carrying Major Falconer (Burt Lancaster) and his walking wounded squad.

It’s a sequence similar to one in Roger Vadim’s "Metzengerstein" segment of 1968’s Spirits Of The Dead, and while it’s unlikely Pollack found direct inspiration from Vadim, clearly both drew from the same mythic well.

The sequence serves as an introduction to the count (Jean-Pierre Aumont) and Therese his wife (?  Niece?  Sister?  Nobody in the movie seems 100% sure what their relationship is, but she’s played by Astrid Heeren) and the fabulous Castle Maldorais.

The castle is fabulous in more ways than one.  While the exterior was a free standing full scale outdoor set and some large interior sets were built, many of the most magnificent scenes were filmed in other real locations to show off genuine works of art found in other European castles.

This adds to the film’s somewhat disjointed feel, but that disjointed feel contributes to the dream-like quality of the story.  

. . .

As mentioned, Maldorais is crammed to the gills with priceless art, and the count doesn’t care who prevails so long as the art is unmolested.

The same can’t be said about Therese, however, and as the film’s narrator and aspiring author, Private Allistair Piersall Benjamin (Al Freeman Jr.), notes “We occupied the castle.  No one knows when the major occupied the countess.”

The count, as noted, is impotent.  To keep Castle Maldorais intact for future generations, he needs an heir and is not fussy about how he obtains one.  Therese’s function is to produce such an heir, and if the count isn’t particular about which side wins, neither is he particular about which side produces the next generation.

Despite being the narrator and (spoiler!) sole American survivor at the end of the film, Pvt. Benjamin is not the focal character of the film, nor -- surprise-surprise -- is Lancaster’s Maj. Falconer.

Falconer is evocative of Colonel Richard Cantwell in Ernest Hemingway’s Across The River And Into The Trees, in particular regarding his love affair with a woman many years his junior.

Falconer wears a patch over his right eye, the only visible sign of wounding among the GIs occupying the castle.

Several military movie buffs think they found a continuity error in Castle Keep insofar as Maj. Falconer first appears in standard issue officer fatigues of the era, but towards the end and particularly in the climactic battle wears an airborne officer’s combat uniform.

This isn’t an error, I think, but a clue as to Falconer’s personal history.

An airborne (i.e., paratrooper) officer who lost an eye is unfit for combat, and if well enough to serve would be assigned garrison duty, not a front line command.

Falconer figures out very early in Castle Keep the strategic importance of Castle Maldorais re the impending German attack and very consciously makes a decision to stand and fight rather than fall back to the relative safety of Bastogne.

Donning his old airborne uniform makes perfect sense under such circumstances.

If the count is impotent invisibly, Falconer is visibly impotent -- in both senses of the word -- and sees his chance to make one last heroic stand against the oncoming Nazi army as a surer way of restoring his symbolically lost manhood than in impregnating Therese.**

. . . 

Before examining our focal character, a few words on the supporting cast.

Peter Falk is Sgt. Rossi, a baker.  Sgt. Rossi’s exact wounding is never made clear, but it appears he suffers from some form of shell shock (as they called PTSD at the time).

He hears things, in particular a scream that only he hears three times during the movie.

The first time is after an opening montage of beautiful works of art being destroyed in a series of explosions.  When a bird-like gargoyle is blow apart, a screech is heard on the soundtrack, and we abruptly jump cut to Maj. Falconer and Sgt. Rossi and the rest of the squad on their way to Castle Maldorais.

For a movie as profoundly philosophical as Castle Keep (more on that in a bit), Sgt. Rossi is the only actual philosopher in the group.  His philosophy is of an earthy bent, and filtered through his own PTSD, but he’s clearly thinking. 

Rossi briefly deserts the squad to take up with the local baker’s wife (Olga Bisera, identified only as Bisera in the credits).  This is not adultery or cuckoldry; Rossi sees her bakery, knocks, and identifies himself as a baker.

“And I am a baker’s wife,” she says.

“Where’s the baker?”

“Gone.”

And with that Rossi moves in, fulfilling all the duties required of a baker (including, however briefly, standing in as a father figure for her son).

The baker’s wife is the only female character who displays any real personal agentry in the film, Therese and the Red Queen and her ladies are there simply to do the bidding of whichever male is present.

This is a problem with most male-oriented war films, and especially so for late 60s / early 70s cinema of any kind; for all the idealistic talk of equality and self-realization, female characters tended to be treated more cavalierly in films of that era than in previous generations.  Olga Bisera’s character appears noteworthy only in comparison to the other female characters in the movie.

Pvt. Benjamin, our narrator and aspiring author, is African-American.  There is virtually no reference made to his race in the film, certainly not as much as the references to a Native American character’s ethnicity.

Today this would be seen as an example of color blind casting; back in 1969 it was a pretty visually explicit point.

Again, it serves the mythic feel of the movie.  At that time, African-American enlisted personnel would not be serving in an integrated unit.

While Castle Keep never brings the topic up, the film -- and Pvt. Benjamin’s narration -- indicates these eight men are bottom of the barrel scrapings, sent where they can do the least amount of damage, and otherwise forgotten by the powers that be.

With that reading, Benjamin’s presence is easy to understand.  As the apparently third most educated member of the unit (Falconer and our focal character are the other two), he probably would not have been a smooth fit in any unit he’d been assigned to.

Whatever got him yanked out of his old company and placed under Maj. Falconer’s command probably was as much a relief to his superiors as it was to him.

Scott Wilson is Corporal Clearboy, a cowboy with a hatred of Army jeeps and an unholy love for Volkswagens.

Volkswagens actually appeared in Germany before the start of WWII but once Hitler came out swinging those factories were converted to military production.  Nonetheless, the basic Beetle was around during the war, and commandeered and used by many Allied soldiers who found one.

Clearboy’s Volkswagen provides one of the funniest bits in the movie, and one that plays on the mythical / surreal / magic realism of the film.  Clearboy’s obsession is oddly touching.

Tony Bill’s Lieutenant Amberjack tips us early on to the kind of cinematic experience we’re in for.  Under the opening credits, Amberjack is asked if he ever studied for the ministry; Amberjack says he did.

“Then why aren’t you a chaplain?” -- and Amberjack bursts out laughing.

Amberjack does not go with the others to the Red Queen -- “That’s for enlisted men” -- and while he enjoys playing the count’s organ, by that I mean he literally sits down at the keyboard and plays music.

But as we’ll see, Castle Keep is not the sort of movie to shy away from sly hints.  Amberjack’s specific “wound” is never discussed, so it’s open to speculation as to why he’s assigned to Maj. Falconer’s squad.

(Siderbar: Following a successful acting career, Bill went on to produce and direct several motion pictures, sharing a Best Picture Oscar for The Sting with Michael and Julia Phillips.)

Elk, the token Native American character in every WWII squad movie, is played by James Patterson.  Elk doesn’t get much to do in the film, though Patterson was an award winning Broadway actor.  Tragically, he died of cancer a few years after making Castle Keep.

Another character with little to do is Michael Conrad’s Sergeant DeVaca.  Most audiences today remember him for his role in Hill Street Blues.

Astrid Heeren (Therese) gets a typically thankless role for films of this type in that era.  She possessed a beautiful face that’s so symmetrical it gives off an unearthly, almost frightening vibe.  A fashion model in the 1960s, she appeared in only four movies -- this one, The Thomas Crown Affair, and two sleaze fests -- before quitting the business.

As noted above, no one is ever quite sure what her exact relationship to the count is.  Towards the end it’s speculated she’s his sister and his wife, but since the count is impotent, does that really constitute incest?

Whatever she is, it’s clear the count considers her nothing more than an oven in which to bake a new heir, and in a very real sense she possesses less freedom and personal agentry than the ladies of the Red Queen.

At least she survives at the end of the film, pregnant with Falconer’s child, led to safety by Pvt. Benjamin.

Finally, Bruce Dern as Lieutenant Billy Byron Bix, a wigged out walking wounded who is not a member of Falconer’s squad.

Bix leads his own rag tag group of GIs, equally addled soldiers who proclaim their newly found evangelical fervor renders them conscientious objectors.  They wander about, singing hymns and scrounging for survival, until the penultimate battle of the film.  

Falconer, trying to recruit more defenders from the retreating American forces, dragoons Bix and his followers into singing a hymn in the hopes of luring some of the shell shocked GIs back to the keep.

Bix agrees -- and is almost immediately killed by a shell, not only thwarting Falconer’s plan but also raising the question of whether this was divine punishment for abandoning his pacifist ways, fate decreeing Falconer and his squad must stand alone, or pure random chance.

Dern, as always, is a delight to watch, and he and Falk get a funny scene where they argue about singing hymns at night.

. . .

So who is our focal character?

Patrick O’Neil was one of those journeymen actors who never get the big breakout role that makes them a star, but worked regularly and well.

He worked on Broadway, guest starred on TV a lot, starred in a couple of minor films (including the delightful sci-fi / spy comedy Matchless), but spent most of his movie career supporting other stars.

Castle Keep is his finest performance.

He’s supposed to be supporting Lancaster in Castle Keep, but dang, he’s the heart and soul of the film.

O’Neil plays Captain Lionel Beckman, Falconer’s second in command, a professor of art and literature whose name is well known enough to be recognized by the count.  

Besides Falconer, Beckman is the only character explicitly acknowledged as having been wounded; this is revealed when Falconer mentions Beckman won the Bronze Star (the second highest award for bravery) and the Purple Heart.

Beckman is enthralled by Castle Maldorais; he and the count strike up a respectful if not friendly relationship.

He sees and appreciates the cultural significance of Castle Maldorais’ artistic treasures and futilely tries to share his love of same with the enlisted men.

He also understands how little Falconer can do at the castle to slow the German advance, and makes the entirely reasonable suggestion that perhaps it would be best for the squad and the castle to retreat and let the treasures remain intact.

Lancaster reportedly wanted to make Castle Keep a comment on the Vietnam War, but the reality is there’s no adequate comparison.

History shows the Nazis were a brutal, aggressive, racist force determined to conquer all they could and destroy the rest.

Beckman is not a fool for wanting to spare the castle and its art, and that’s why he’s vital as the film’s focal character.

He sees and feels for us the horror at what appears to be the senseless waste about to befall the men and the castle.  His voice is necessary to express there are ideals worth fighting for, and there are times when not fighting is the best strategy.

But Maj. Falconer is shown as a good officer.  While he maintains an aloof attitude of command, he’s interested in and concerned about the men under him, he’s willing to be lenient if circumstances permit, and he keeps them openly and honestly informed at all times of the situation facing them.

He figures out the meaning of the flares seen early in the film, anticipates what the German line of attack will be, but most importantly realizes more will die and more destruction will occur if the Nazis aren’t resisted.

He and Beckman’s difference of opinion is not simplistic good vs evil, brute vs beauty, but a deeper, and ultimately more ineffable one over applying value in our lives.

Falconer and Beckman represent two entirely different yet equally valid and equally human points of view of when and how we decide to act on those values.

Falconer by himself cannot tell the story of Castle Keep, he needs the sounding board of Beckman, and only Beckman can bridge the gap between those opposing values for the audience.

. . .

Before we go further, a brief compare & contrast on an earlier Burt Lancaster film, The Train (1964).

It touches on a theme similar to Castle Keep:  As Allied armies advance on Paris, the Germans plan to move a vast collection of priceless art by rail from France to Germany.  Lancaster, a member of a French resistance cell, doesn’t see the military value of stopping the train, but when other members of his cell decide to do so in order to save French culture, he reluctantly joins their efforts.

The film ends with the train stopped, the French hostages massacred, the art abandoned and strewn about by the fleeing Germans.  Lancaster confronts and shoots the German officer responsible then leaves, dismayed and disgusted by the waste of human life over an abstract love of beauty.

The French resistance fighters who died trying to stop the train did so of their own fully informed consent; they knew the risks, we willing to take them, ad faced the consequences.

The civilian hostages massacred at the end had no knowledge, much less any say in the reason why their lives were risked.  Lancaster, in successfully derailing the train to prevent it leaving France, also signs their death warrants when the vengeful Nazis turn on their victims.

The Train proved a critical success and did well at the box office, yet while it raises a lot of interesting points and issues, it ultimately isn’t as deep or as humane as Castle Keep.

The Train ends with a bitter sense of futility.

Castle Keep ends with a bittersweet sense of sacrifice.

. . .

All of which brings us to the screenplay of Castle Keep, written by Daniel Taradash and David Rayfiel off the novel by William Eastlake.

I read Eastlake’s book decades ago and remember it to be a good story.  

The screenplay kept the basic plot but built wonderfully off the complexity of the novel, reinterpreting it for the screen.

It’s one of the few cinematic adaptations of a good literary work that actually improves on the original.

Taradash was a classic old school Hollywood screenwriter with a string of bona fide hits and classics to his credit including From Here To Eternity (1952), Picnic (1955), and Hawaii (1966).  He also scripted the interesting misfire Morituri (1965), about an Allied double-agent attempting to sabotage a German freighter trying to get vital supplies back to the fatherland.

I suspect Taradash was the studio’s first choice for adapting the book, and as his credits show, an eminently suitable one.  

But when Pollack came on as the director, he also brought along David Rayfiel, a frequent collaborator with him on other films.

Rayfiel’s career as a screenwriter was shorter than Tardash’s but more intense, vacillating between quality films and well crafted potboilers.  Rayfiel and Pollack doubtlessly shaped the final form of the screenplay, and despite what appears to he studio interference, turned in a truly memorable piece of work.

As I said, Castle Keep is truly sui generis, but there are other films and screenplays that carry some of the same flavor.  

The Stunt Man (1980; directed by Richard Rush, screenplay by Rush and Lawrence B. Marcus off the novel by Paul Brodeur) bears certain similarities in tone and approach to Castle Keep.  It represents an evolution of the cinematic style originally found in Pollack’s film, now refined and polished to fit mainstream expectations.

True, it has the advantage of a story that hinges on sudden / swift / disorienting changes, but it still managed to pull those effects off more smoothly than the films of the late 1960s did.

As I said, some experiments work…

Castle Keep’s screenplay works more like Plato’s dialogs than a traditional film script.

Almost every line in it is a philosophical statement or question of some sort, and underlying everything in the film is each character’s quest for at least some kind of understanding if not actual meaning in life.

As noted, Sgt. Rossi is the most philosophical of these characters, though his philosophy is of a far earthier, more pragmatic variety than that of the count, Falconer, or Beckman.

All the major characters have some sort of philosophical bent, even if they’re not self-aware enough to recognize it in themselves.

The dialog is elliptical, less interested in baldly stating something that in getting the audience to tease out its own meanings.

Pollack directs the film in a way that forces the audience to fill in many blanks.

Early in the movie, Falconer and the count find themselves being stalked by a German patrol.  They take refuge in a gazebo, duck as the Germans fire the first few shots --

-- then we abruptly jump to the aftermath of the firefight, with Falconer and the count standing over the bodies of four dead Germans.

Falconer, seeing they’re all enlisted men, realizes they wouldn’t come this far behind enemy lines without an officer.

There can be only one destination for the officer, one goal he seeks…

Pollack then visually cuts away from Falconer and the count to Therese in the castle, but keeps the two men’s dialog going as a voice over.

In the voice over, we heard Falconer stalk and kill the German officer as he approaches the castle…

…and without ever explicitly stating it, the audience comes to realize the count and Therese are not allies of the Americans, that they are playing only for their own side, and that their values are alien to those of both the Allies and the Germans.

The count is using Therese -- with or without her consent -- to produce an offspring for him, and if the Germans can’t do the job, let the Americans have a go at it…

This theme provides an undercurrent for Beckman’s interactions with the count.  Beckman would like to believe the count’s desire to keep the war away from Castle Maldorais is just a desire to preserve the art and beauty in it, but the count’s motives are purely selfish.

He doesn’t desire to share his treasures with the world but keep them for his own private enjoyment.

The works of art are as good as gone once they pass through Castle Maldorais’ gate.

Later, at the start of the climactic battle for the castle, the count is seen guiding German troops into a secret tunnel that leads under the moat to the castle itself.

Falconer, having anticipated this, blows up the tunnel with the Germans in it.  Through Falconer’s binoculars, we see the Germans shoot the count in the distance, his body collapsing soundlessly into the snow.

A conventional war film would show his death in satisfying close up, but Pollack puts him distantly removed from the Americans he sought to betray, and even the Germans he inadvertently betrayed.  

It shows him going down, alone, in a cold and sterile and soundless environment, his greed for beauty scant comfort for his last breaths.

The film portrays the Germans as mostly faceless, seen only in death or at a distance, rushing and firing at the camera.

The one exception is a brief scene where Lt. Amberjack and Sgt. Rossi patrol the forest around the castle.

Amberjack, playing a flute he acquired at the castle, catches the attention of a German -- a former music student -- hiding in the nearby bushes.

The unseen German compliments Amberjack on his playing, but says if he’ll toss him the flute he’ll fix it so it plays better.

And the German is true to the word.  Unseen in the bushes, he smooths out some of the holes on the flute and tosses it back to Amberjack.

Amberjack thanks him --

-- and Sgt. Rossi shoots him.

“Why did you kill him?” Amberjack demands.

“It’s what we do for a living,” says Rossi, ever the philosopher.

. . .

Castle Keep isn’t a film for everyone.

It offers no pat answers, no firm convictions, no unassailable truths.

It’s open to a wide variety of interpretations, and the audiences that saw it first in 1969 approached it from a far different worldview than we see it today.

It isn’t for everyone, but for the ones it is for, it will be a rich meal, not a popcorn snack.

Currently available on Amazon Prime.

  © Buzz Dixon

  *  I’d include M*A*S*H (1970) in this group even thought (a) it’s set in the Korean War and (b) it’s really about Vietnam.  Except for the helicopters, however, M*A*S*H uses the same uniforms / weapons / vehicles as WWII films; for today’s audiences there’s no discernable difference from a WWII-era film.  It was a toss-up between putting this in the cynical revisionism or absurdity class, but in the end M*A*S*H is just too self-aware, too smirking to fit among the latter.

** Falconer’s relationship with Therese and (indirectly) the count and the castle also harkens back to a 1965 Charlton Heston film, The War Lord, arguably the finest medieval siege warfare movie ever made.  Like Falconer, Heston’s Norman knight must defend a strategic Flemish keep against a Viking chieftain attacking to rescue his young son held hostage by the Normans; complicating matters is Heston’s knight taking undue advantage of his droit du seigneur over a local bride which leads to the locals -- whom the Normans are supposed to be protecting from the Vikings -- helping their former raiders.  Life gets messy when you don’t keep your chain mail zipped.

[thewordcollector2]

71+ Unforgettably Priceless Friendship Quotes, Proverbs, and Messages in Different Languages

Bismillaahir-Rahmaanir-Raheem بسم الله الرّحمن الرّحيم… In the name of Allah (God), the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

Assalaamu 'alaikum السّلام عليكم… Peace be with you

Hi, Readers :). When you think about the word "friend", what comes to mind? I bet you think of someone who is near to your heart. But how does someone achieve that status of being dear to you? This is usually accomplished with an acquaintance who remains unswervingly* devoted, sincere, loyal, and trustworthy with you over a period of time. The kind of person I'm referring to is an individual who is there for you under all circumstances, no matter how difficult. A gem like that is rare nowadays, so be grateful if you've found someone who TRULY knows what it means to be a friend! Having given my definition of "friend", I'll give you some dictionary definitions of this word in the next paragraph, InshaaAllah إن شاء الله (God willing).

*unswervingly adverb = in a constant and steadfast manner; "an unswervingly loyal man" (The Free Dictionary)

The following are some of the meanings of the noun "friend" from four online dictionaries:

"A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts." (The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language)

"A person whom one knows; an acquaintance." (The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language)

"One attached to another by affection or esteem." (Merriam-Webster)

"A person you know well and regard with affection and trust." (RhymeZone)

"A person with whom you are acquainted." (RhymeZone)

"One closely attached to another by affection and esteem." (Wordsmyth)

Here are some synonyms of the noun, "friend": "alter ego", "amigo", "buddy", "chum", "crony", "familiar", "intimate", "pal", "sidekick", etc. Two of its antonyms are "enemy", and "foe". (Wordsmyth)

Seeing that we've established the meaning of "friend", let's examine some meanings of its derivative "friendship":

"A friendship is a relationship between two or more friends." (Collins COBUILD Dictionary)

"You use friendship to refer in a general way to the state of being friends, or the feelings that friends have for each other." (Collins COBUILD Dictionary)

"If you have someone's friendship, they are your friend." (Collins COBUILD Dictionary)

"The emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends." (Oxford Dictionaries)

Etymology:

friendship (n.)

Old English freondscipe "friendship, mutual liking and regard," also "conjugal love;" see friend (n.) + -ship. Similar formation in Dutch vriendschap, German Freundschaft, Swedish frändskap. (Etymonline)

Okey doke. Let's dive into some memorably precious friendship quotes, proverbs and messages in different languages, InshaaAllah إن شاء الله. Happy reading! :) ;)

Side note:

Please feel free to share, and reblog this post if you appreciate it, InshaaAllah إن شاء الله. Thanks heaps (a lot)! :)

Abbreviation key:

masc. sing. = masculine singular

fem. sing. = feminine singular

(ms.) = masculine singular

(fs.) = feminine singular

(m) = masculine

(f) = feminine

Arabic Quotes and Proverbs about Friendship

Sadeeq al-jamee' laisa sadeeqan li-ahad صديقُ الجميعِ ليس صديقاً لأح��ٍ.* ~‎Aristu أرسطو

aw أَو / or...

"Sadeeq al-kull laisa sadeeqan li-ahad صديقُ الكلِّ ليس صديقًا لأحدٍ." ~‎Aristu أرسطو

"A friend to all is a friend to none." ~Aristotle

*Literal meaning: "The friend of all isn't a friend to anyone."

"As-sadeeq al-mukhlis kanz kabeer الصّديقُ المخلصُ كنزٌ كبيرٌ." / "The faithful friend is a great treasure."

"As-sadiiq al-haqiiqiyy ni'mat min-Allah الصّديقُ الحقيقيُّ نعمةٌ من اللهِ." / "A true friend is a blessing from Allah الله [God]."

"As-sadaaqah bilaa thiqah hiya zahrah bilaa raa'ihah tayyibah الصّداقةُ بلا ثقةٍ هي زهرةٌ بلا رائحةٍ طيّبةٍ." ~Laure Conan لور كونان

Friendship without trust is a flower without perfume.* ~Laure Conan

*perfume noun = a pleasant smell (Oxford Dictionaries)

"As-sadeeq huwa ash-shakhs al-ladhee yamnahu-ka kaamil al-hurriyyah li-takoon 'alaa tabee'ati-ka الصّديقُ هو الشّخصُ الّذي يمنحكَ كاملَ الحرّيّةِ لِتكونَ على طبيعتِكَ." ~Jim Morrison جيم موريسون

"A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." ~Jim Morrison

"As-sadaaqah tabda'u 'inda-maa tash'uru anna-ka saadiq ma'a al-aakhar wa bidoon aqni'ah الصّداقةُ تبدأ عندما تشعر أنّك صادِق مع الآخرِ وبدونِ أقنعةٍ." ~Zakaria Yassine زكرياء ياسين

"Friendship begins when you feel that you are genuine with someone else [another] and without masks." ~Zakaria Yassine

Important:

Google Translate was used for translating some French, German and Spanish friendship quotes and messages into English.

French Quotes and Proverbs about Friendship

"L'amitié sans confiance, c'est une fleur sans parfum." ~Laure Conan

"Friendship without trust is a flower without perfume." ~Laure Conan

"Au besoin on connaît l'ami." / "When need comes one knows one's friend." ~Proverbe français (French proverb)

"Ami de tous; ami de personne." / "Everybody's friend is nobody's friend." ~Proverbe français (French proverb)

"Mes amis sont ma richesse." ~Emily Dickinson

"My friends are my estate [wealth]." ~Emily Dickinson

"Même les meilleurs amis doivent se séparer." / "Even the best of friends must part." ~Proverbe (Proverb)

"C'est dans le besoin qu'on reconnaît ses vrais amis." / "It is when in need that one recognizes his real friends." / "A friend in need is a friend indeed." ~Proverbe français (French proverb)

"Qui se ressemble s'assemble." / "Those who resemble each other will get together." / "Birds of a feather [flock together]." ~Proverbe français (French proverb)

"Mieux vaut être seul que mal accompagné." / "Better to be alone than accompanied badly." / "Better be alone than in bad company." ~Proverbe français (French proverb) / Pierre Gringoire

"La vie est plus douce quand on est entouré de vrais amis." / "La vie est plus douce quand on est entouré par de vrais amis." / "Life is sweeter when you are surrounded by true [real] friends."

German Quotes and Proverbs about Friendship

"Gehe nicht hinter mir; ich werde vielleicht nicht führen. Gehe nicht vor mir; ich werde vielleicht nicht folgen. Gehe einfach neben mir und sei ein Freund." ~Albert Camus

"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." ~Albert Camus

"Mein bester Freund ist der, der das Beste in mir herausbringt." ~Henry Ford

"My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me." ~Henry Ford

"Es gibt nichts Wertvolleres auf der Welt als wahre Freundschaft." ~Thomas Aquinas

"There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship." ~Thomas Aquinas

"Ein Freund ist jemand, der dir die totale Freiheit lässt, du selbst zu sein." ~Jim Morrison

"A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." ~Jim Morrison

"Guter Freund kommt ungeladen." / "A good friend comes uninvited." ~deutsches Sprichwort (German proverb)

"In der Not erkennt man die Freunde." / "Freunde erkennt man in der Not." / "Friends are recognized in need." / "A friend in need is a friend indeed." ~deutsches Sprichwort (German proverb)

"Wenn ein Freund bittet, so gilt nicht morgen." / "When a friend asks, tomorrow does not count." ~deutsches Sprichwort (German proverb)

Miscellaneous Friendship Quotes and Proverbs in English

Hadith* on friendship: The parable (lesson) of a good friend and bad friend

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "Verily, the parable of a good friend and a bad friend is only that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith. The seller of musk will give you some perfume, you will buy some, or you will notice a good smell. As for the blacksmith, he will burn your clothes or you will notice a bad smell."

*Hadith حديث = saying of the Prophet Muhammad مُحمّد (PBUH)

Source:

Saheeh al-Bukhaaree 1995, Saheeh Muslim 2628

"Being alone is better than having an evil companion; and having a sincere companion is better than being alone." ~Unknown

"Having just one good friend is better than having a million fake friends who pretend to like you." ~Unknown

"A friendship is like a ship on the sea; it needs to stay afloat. If a friendship is one-sided, it will most likely sink in the sea of friendships." ~Unknown

"One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood." ~Lucius Annaeus Seneca

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~Bernard Meltzer

"Remember that the most valuable antiques are dear old friends." ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

"It seems they had always been, and would always be, friends. Time could change much, but not that." ~Winnie the Pooh

"Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" ~C.S. Lewis

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." ~Oprah Winfrey

"Growing apart doesn't change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I'm glad for that." ~Ally Condie

"Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes." ~Henry David Thoreau

"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." ~Muhammad Ali

"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends." ~John Churton Collins

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." ~Walter Winchell

"True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable." ~David Tyson

"Sweet is the memory of distant friends! Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart." ~Washington Irving

"Anybody can sympathise* with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success." ~Oscar Wilde

*sympathize (also sympathise)

verb

To understand and care about someone's problems.

To support and agree with someone or something.

(Cambridge English Dictionary)

"Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit." ~Aristotle

"A good friend is a connection to life — a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world." ~Lois Wyse

"A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down." ~Arnold H. Glasgow

"The real test of friendship is can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?" ~Eugene Kennedy

"A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad." ~Arnold H. Glasgow

"One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention." ~Clifton Fadiman

"You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job." ~Laurence J. Peter

"No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow." ~Alice Walker

"Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together." ~Woodrow T. Wilson

"There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will." ~Unknown

"A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be." ~Douglas Pagels

"A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same." ~Elbert Hubbard

"A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out." ~Grace Pulpit

"One true friend adds more to our happiness than a thousand enemies add to our unhappiness." ~Marie Dubsky

"Most of us don't need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with." ~Robert Brault

"Friendship isn't a big thing — it's a million little things." ~Author Unknown

"Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty." ~Sicilian Proverb

"A good friend is cheaper than therapy." ~Author Unknown

"If a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it." ~Edgar Watson Howe

"The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend." ~Henry David Thoreau

"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart." ~Elisabeth Foley

"There are big ships and small ships. But the best ship of all is friendship." ~Author Unknown

"The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've had." ~Author Unknown

"I like friends who, when you tell them you need a moment alone, know enough not to stray too far." ~Robert Brault

"The language of friendship is not words but meanings." ~Henry David Thoreau

"Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie." ~Robert Brault

"Our most difficult task as a friend is to offer understanding when we don't understand." ~Robert Brault

"As a friend, you first give your understanding, then you try to understand." ~Robert Brault

"A true friend is forever a friend." ~George MacDonald

"Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most." ~American Proverb

"The tender friendships one gives up, on parting, leave their bite on the heart, but also a curious feeling of a treasure somewhere buried." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"A bosom friend — an intimate friend, you know — a really kindred spirit* to whom I can confide my inmost soul." ~L.M. Montgomery

*kindred spirit noun = A person whose interests or attitudes are similar to one's own. (Oxford Dictionaries)

or...

a kindred spirit/soul phrase = someone who likes or cares about the same things as you do (Macmillan Dictionary)

"Hold a true friend with both your hands." ~Nigerian Proverb

"Yes'm, old friends is always best, 'less you can catch a new one that's fit to make an old one out of." ~Sarah Orne Jewett

"Between true friends even water drunk together is sweet enough." ~African proverb

"The recipe of friendship: 1 cup of sharing. 2 cups of caring. 3 cups of forgiveness and hugs. Mix all of these together to make friends forever." ~Unknown

"A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow."

"Tell people how it is, be real and be honest. If you see something wrong make sure you speak up. Being this way will naturally eliminate the snakes and fakes." ~John Maiorana (Giovanni)

"A friend will fight for the truth, not distort it for their personal gain." ~Shannon L. Alder

"A man who has friends must himself be friendly." ~Proverb

"Misfortune tests the sincerity of friends." ~Aesop

"The rich knows not who is his friend." ~Proverb

Spanish Quotes and Proverbs about Friendship

"Tener buenos amigos es una bendición de Dios." / "To have good friends is a blessing from God." / "Having good friends is a blessing from God."

"Una amistad sin confianza es una flor sin perfume." ~Laure Conan

"A friendship without trust is a flower without perfume." ~Laure Conan

"Amigo en la adversidad, es amigo de verdad." / "A friend in adversity is a true friend." ~Proverbio español (Spanish proverb)

"Cada quien con su cada cual." / "Everyone with his own." / "Birds of a feather flock together." ~Proverbio español (Spanish proverb)

"Amistad fuerte, llega más allá de la muerte." / "Strong friendship transcends death." ~Refrán (Proverb)

"Amigo sin dinero, eso quiero; que dinero sin amigo no vale un higo." / "A friend without money, that I love; money without a friend is not worth a fig." / "Friendship is worth more than money." ~Proverbio español (Spanish proverb)

"Amigo de muchos, amigo de ninguno." ~Aristotle

"A friend to all is a friend to none." ~Aristotle

"La verdadera amistad es inmortal." / "True friendship is immortal." ~Proverbio (Proverb)

"Al amigo su vicio." / "Love your friend with his fault." / "Your friend with his vice* [bad habit]." ~Proverbio español (Spanish proverb)

*Synonyms of "vice": "shortcoming", "failing", "flaw", "fault", "defect", "weakness", "weak point", "deficiency", "limitation", "imperfection", "blemish", "foible", "fallibility", "frailty", "infirmity", etc. (Oxford Dictionaries)

"Cultivar una amistad verdadera requiere mucha paciencia, mucho tiempo, mucha dedicación y mucho esfuerzo." / "Cultivar una verdadera amistad requiere mucha paciencia, mucho tiempo, mucha dedicación y mucho esfuerzo." / "Cultivating a true friendship requires a great deal of patience, time, dedication and effort."

o / or...

"Cultivar una amistad verdadera requiere mucho tiempo, paciencia, dedicación y esfuerzo." / "Cultivar una verdadera amistad requiere mucho tiempo, paciencia, dedicación y esfuerzo." / "Cultivating a true friendship requires a great deal of time, patience, dedication and effort."

"Ten muchos conocidos y pocos amigos." ~Anónimo

"Have but few friends, though many acquaintances." ~Anonymous

"La alegría se multiplica cuando se comparte entre amigos pero el dolor disminuye con cada división. Eso es vida." ~R.A. Salvatore

"Joy multiplies when it is shared among friends, but grief diminishes with every division. That is life." ~R.A. Salvatore

"Sal de la vida es la amistad." ~Juan Luis Vives

"The salt of life is friendship." ~Juan Luis Vives

"Los amigos de verdad son familia sin certificado de nacimiento." / "Real friends are family without a birth certificate."

"Un amigo en la vida es mucho. Dos son demasiado. Tres son imposibles." ~Henry Brooks Adams

"One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible." ~Henry Brooks Adams

"La vida es mejor con amigos de verdad." / "La vida es mejor con amigos verdaderos." / "Life is better with true friends."

"La verdadera amistad resiste el tiempo, la distancia y el silencio." ~Isabel Allende

"True friendship resists time, distance, and silence." ~Isabel Allende

"La amistad verdadera perdura para siempre." / "True friendship lasts forever."

"La verdadera amistad es como tinta imborrable." / "True friendship is like indelible ink."

Note:

indelible ink noun - ink that cannot be erased or washed away (TheFreeDictionary)

Arabic Friendship Messages

"Shukran 'alaa sadaaqati-k[a] شكراً على صداقتكَ. Anta raa'i' أنتَ رائع!" / "Thank you for your friendship. You rock!"

Note:

"If you're talking to a female, the pronunciation differs a little. It'd be 'Shukran 'alaa sadaaqati-k[i] شكراً على صداقتكِ. Anti raa'i'ah أنتِ رائعة'." (Quora)

"Sadeeqee shukran li-wujoodi-k[a] fii hayaatee صديقي شكراً لوجودِكَ في حياتي." / "My friend [masc. sing.], thanks for your existence in my life." / "My friend, thanks for being in my life."

aw أَو / or...

"Sadeeqatee shukran li-wujoodi-k[i] fii hayaatee صديقتي شكراً لوجودِكِ في حياتي." / "My friend [fem. sing.], thanks for your existence in my life." / "My friend, thanks for being in my life."

"Sadaaqatu-k[a] min naw' fareed ‎صداقتُكَ من نوعٍ فريدٍ." / "Your [ms.] friendship is of a unique kind [type]."

aw أَو / or...

"Sadaaqatu-k[i] min naw' fareed ‎صداقتُكِ من نوعٍ فريدٍ." / "Your [fs.] friendship is of a unique kind [type]."

aw أَو / or...

"Sadaaqatu-k[a] hiya shai' fareed صداقتُكَ هي شيءٌ فريدٌ." / "Your [ms.] friendship is something unique* [extraordinary, one of a kind]."

*something unique = a unique thing

aw أَو / or...

"Sadaaqatu-k[i] hiya shai' fareed صداقتُكِ هي شيءٌ فريدٌ." / "Your [fs.] friendship is something unique [extraordinary, one of a kind]."

"Yaa sadeeqee, anta sham'ah tuneeru hayaatee يا صديقي، أنتَ شمعةٌ تنيرُ حياتي." / "O my friend, you [ms.] are a candle illuminating [lighting up] my life."

aw أَو / or...

"Yaa sadeeqee, anta sham'ah tudhee'u hayaatee يا صديقي، أنتَ شمعةٌ تضيءُ حياتي." / "O my friend, you [ms.] are a candle illuminating [lighting up] my life."

aw أَو / or...

"Yaa sadeeqatee, anti sham'ah tuneeru hayaatee يا صديقتي، أنتِ شمعةٌ تنيرُ حياتي." / "O my friend, you [fs.] are a candle illuminating [lighting up] my life."

aw أَو / or...

"Yaa sadeeqatee, anti sham'ah tudhee'u hayaatee يا صديقتي، أنتِ شمعةٌ تضيءُ حياتي." / "O my friend, you [fs.] are a candle illuminating [lighting up] my life."

aw أَو / or...

"Yaa sadeeqee, anta ash-sham'ah allatee tuneeru hayaatee ‎يا صديقي، أنتَ الشّمعةُ الّتي تنيرُ حياتي." / "O my friend, you [ms.] are the candle that illuminates [lights up] my life."

aw أَو / or...

"Yaa sadeeqee, anta ash-sham'ah allatee tudhee'u hayaatee ‎يا صديقي، أنتَ الشّمعةُ الّتي تضيءُ حياتي." / "O my friend, you [ms.] are the candle that illuminates [lights up] my life."

aw أَو / or...

"Yaa sadeeqatee, anti ash-sham'ah allatee tuneeru hayaatee يا صديقتي، أنتِ الشّمعةُ الّتي تنيرُ حياتي." / "O my friend, you [fs.] are the candle that illuminates [lights up] my life."

aw أَو / or...

"Yaa sadeeqatee, anti ash-sham'ah allatee tudhee'u hayaatee يا صديقتي، أنتِ الشّمعةُ الّتي تضيءُ حياتي." / "O my friend, you [fs.] are the candle that illuminates [lights up] my life."

"Uhibbu-k[a] fillaah[i], yaa sadeeqee أحبّكَ في اللهِ، يا صديقي." / "I love you for the sake of Allah الله [God], O my friend [ms.]."

aw أَو / or...

"Uhibbu-k[i] fillaah[i], yaa sadeeqatee أحبّكِ في اللهِ، يا صديقتي." / "I love you for the sake of Allah الله [God], O my friend [fs.]."

Asdiqaa' hattaa an-nihaayah أصدقاءُ حتّى النّهايةِ / Friends until the end (m) / Friends to the end (m)

aw أَو / or...

Sadeeqaat hattaa an-nihaayah صديقاتٌ حتّى النّهايةِ / Friends until the end (f) / Friends to the end (f)

Asdiqaa' ilaa al-abad(i) أصدقاءُ إلى الأبدِ / Friends forever (m) / Friends always (m)

aw أَو / or...

‎Sadeeqaat ilaa al-abad(i) صديقاتٌ إلى الأبدِ / Friends forever (f) / Friends always (f)

English Friendship Messages

"True F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Fight for you.

Respect you.

Include you.

Encourage you.

Need you.

Deserve you.

Stand by you."

Prayer for a Friend

Stores don't sell,

I must confess,

the joys of life

that cheer and bless,

but friends and prayers

are priceless treasures

beyond all monetary measures –

and so, my friend,

I say a prayer

that God will keep you

in His care.

Helen Steiner Rice

"In life there are friends. Good friends, great friends, best friends. But you are my forever friend, InshaaAllah إن شاء الله. Thank you for being you."

"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart. I'll stay there forever." ~A.A. Milne

"Forever friends"

"My friend, thanks for tolerating my idiosyncrasies* and crazy habits. You might not know this, but you helped me find happiness in being the person who I really am."

*idiosyncrasy / idiosyncrasies noun = A mode of behaviour or way of thought peculiar to an individual.

'one of his little idiosyncrasies was always preferring to be in the car first'

Synonyms: "peculiarity", "quirk", "eccentricity", "oddity", "foible", "whim", "whimsy", "caprice", "vagary", "twist", "crotchet", "mannerism", "fad", etc.

(Oxford Dictionaries)

"You, my friend, are one of a kind."

"Thank you for your friendship. You brighten up my life!"

"With you, I can be honest and lay bare my heart.* Nothing else can come close to the beautiful friendship we share."

*lay bare idiom = to reveal or uncover private information or feelings (Merriam-Webster)

"You blur the lines between family and friends because you are both for me."

"I would rather thank you regularly for being a wonderful friend in every way, than belittle our friendship by saying thanks only once a year on Friendship Day. Thank you."

"Thank you for being a FRIEND."

"Thank you for making me laugh when I'd almost forgotten how to." ~Pam Brown

"Thank you so much for being a part of my life. Without you, life wouldn't be so wonderful."

French Friendship Messages

"Merci pour ce cadeau que tu m'offres chaque jour : ton amitié." / "Thank you for this gift that you offer me every day: your friendship."

Note:

"Generally, colons, semicolons, exclamation points, and question marks are all preceded by a space." (Yabla French)

"Être ami avec toi est l'une des choses qui me rend les plus heureux dans la vie." / "Being friends with you is one of the things that makes me happiest in life."

"Une véritable amitié est rare. Je suis tellement chanceux de t'avoir comme ami !" / "True friendship is rare. I'm so lucky to have you as a friend!"

"Les fleurs de l'amitié ne se fanent jamais. Merci d'être mon ami." / "The flowers of friendship never fade. Thank you for being my friend."

"Je n'arrive plus à définir ce qu'est l'amitié et la famille parce que pour moi tu es à la fois ma sœur et ma meilleure amie." / "I can not define friendship and family anymore because for me you are both my sister and my best friend."

German Friendship Messages

"Danke für deine Freundschaft. Du bist klasse!" / "Thank you for your friendship. You rock!"

"Vertrauen ist Mut, und Treue ist Kraft." / "Trust is courage, and faith is strength." ~Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

"Die Erde kann vergehen, die Sonne kann verblassen, doch wahre Freundschaft, soll uns nie verlassen." / "The earth can pass away, the sun can fade, but true friendship, should never leave us."

"Manche Menschen sind wie ein Spiegel, der uns hilft, in die verborgenen Winkel unserer Seele zu schauen. Schön, dass es dich gibt!" / "Some people are like a mirror that helps us to look into the hidden corners of our soul. It's great that you're there!"

"Manche Menschen machen die Welt besonders, indem sie einfach da sind. Du bist so einer." / "Some people make the world special by simply being there. You are one of those."

"Freundschaft, das ist eine Seele in zwei Körpern." / "Friendship is one soul in two bodies." ~Aristoteles (Aristotle)

"Freunde sind wie Sterne in der Nacht! Auch wenn man sie nicht sieht, weiß man doch, dass sie da sind!" / "Friends are like stars in the night! Even if you do not see them, you know that they are there!"

"Schön, dass es dich gibt." / "It's great that you're there." / "It's nice that you are there." / "I am glad that you are there."

"Schön, dass es dich gibt. Danke für deine Freundschaft." / "It's great that you're there. Thank you for your friendship."

Spanish Friendship Messages

"Gracias por tu amistad. ¡Eres genial!" / "Thank you for your friendship. You rock!"

"¡Gracias a Dios, soy bendecido/a y afortunado/a por tener un amigo como tú!" / "Thank God, I'm blessed and fortunate [lucky] to have a friend [m] like you!"

o / or...

"¡Gracias a Dios, soy bendecido/a y afortunado/a por tener una amiga como tú!" / "Thank God, I'm blessed and fortunate [lucky] to have a friend [f] like you!"

"Tener amigos como tú es una bendición. Gracias por tu amistad." / "Having friends like you is a blessing. Thanks for your friendship."

"Como las estrellas, tu amistad nunca deja de brillar." / "Like the stars, your friendship never stops shining."

"Cree siempre en ti. Cree siempre en mí. Cree siempre en nuestra amistad." / "Always believe in yourself. Always believe in me. Always believe in our friendship."

"Tu amistad es algo único." / "Your friendship is something unique [extraordinary, one of a kind]."

"Te quiero* mucho. Eres mi mejor amigo/a." / "I love you very much. You are my best friend."

*"Literally translated to, 'I want you', 'te quiero' is most appropriate for expressing love to family, close friends, or significant others."

(English to Spanish Raleigh)

"Te quiero así de mucho." / "I love you this much."

Amigos hasta la muerte y más allá (m) / Amigas hasta la muerte y más allá (f) / Friends until (till, 'til) death and beyond

"¡Qué alegría saber que existes!" / "What a joy to know that you exist!"

Amigos por siempre (m) / Amigas por siempre (f) / Friends forever / Friends for ever

o / or...

Amigos x* siempre (m) / Amigas x siempre (f) / Friends forever / Friends for ever

*x = por

o / or...

Amigos para siempre (m) / Amigas para siempre (f) / Friends forever / Friends for ever

Extras

Spanish Pronunciation Notes:

a = ah e.g. amigo/a

e = eh e.g. caliente

i = ee e.g. pimienta

o = oh e.g. frío/a

u = pronounced like the "oo" as in "soon" e.g. universidad

"G" is pronounced as an English "h" when followed by "e" or "i". Examples: gente = hehn-teh, gato = gaht-oh

"H" is always silent and never pronounced when it appears alone. Examples: hecho = echo, hora = oh-ra

In Spanish, the letter "h" has no sound. The digraph "ch" is pronounced like the "ch" in the word "chair".

"J" is always pronounced as an English "h". Example: jugar = hoo-gahr

"Qu" is pronounced as an English "k" when followed by "e" or "i" (pronounce the 'u' otherwise). Examples: que = keh, quotar = quoh-tahr

"Ñ" or "ñ" is pronounced as "enye". Example: baño = bahn-yoh

"Ll" or "ll" is pronounced as the letter "y". Examples: llenar = yeh-nahr, olla = oh-yah

The Spanish "z" is pronounced differently in Spain than in Latin America. In Spain, it is pronounced like the "th" in the English word "think". In Latin America, it is pronounced like the letter "s". Example: zanahoria = sa-na-oh-ree-ah

Sources of Pronunciation Notes:

2 Simple Rules to Help You Pronounce Spanish Words | TakeLessons

Spanish pronunciation of "h" and "ch" | 123TeachMe

Consonant: z - Study Spanish

7 Ways to Be a Genuine Friend

"You have to be a friend to have them."

― J.M. Richards

"The only way to have a friend is to be one."

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let's get the facts straight, in order to be someone's friend you need to know how to be a true amigo/a. Here are seven ways to be a genuine* friend, InshaaAllah إن شاء الله:

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."

― Oscar Wilde

1. Always try to be yourself. Let your friends see you for who you really are. Don't be a phony (fake). Show them your true personality. Don't act one way in front of them, and another way behind their backs. If they can accept the real you, then you'll be able to have more meaningful and lasting friendships.

"One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say."

― Bryant H. McGill

"There is as much wisdom in listening as there is in speaking--and that goes for all relationships, not just romantic ones."

― Daniel Dae Kim

2. Be an active, caring and responsive listener. Try to listen to your friends carefully, interestedly and understandingly. And, always make an effort to give them constructive feedback and sound advice.

"Perfection is a goal that will forever remain impossible for any human being to achieve. Therefore, the only achievable goal is to only strive to become the best that you can possibly be."

― Edmond Mbiaka

"I think people who have faults are a lot more interesting than people who are perfect."

― Spike Lee

3. No one is perfect. This is earth! We all have faults. Know that you have faults, and that your friends have faults too. And, learn to live with them. Some of them can be fixed and some of them can't be fixed. C'est la vie! ('That's life'; 'Such is life' in French) If you do something wrong, take the blame. Say your sorries, and try your best to learn from your mistakes.

"Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it all into words is all that is necessary."

― Margaret Cousins

"Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."

― Marcel Proust

4. Appreciate your friends. Show them your appreciation. Let them know that you value them. Here are some simple ways of doing this:

Write them a kind note, letter, or email.

Give them a surprise call to let them know you haven't forgotten them.

Make something special for them.

Compliment them about their successes. But please don't flatter them, as flattery is insincere.

Show them signs of care and affection.

Do something sweet and thoughtful for them.

Give them a small gift to let them know that they mean something to you. You can be creative in this area, as it's the thought that counts most!

Verbalize it! Let your friends know how grateful you are for them. Tell them how much you prize (appreciate) their friendship.

"Tell people how it is, be real and be honest. If you see something wrong make sure you speak up. Being this way will naturally eliminate the snakes and fakes."

― John Maiorana

"Honesty is the best policy."

― Benjamin Franklin

5. Be honest and frank (direct) with your friends, but please remember to be polite too. If your friends ask for your opinion on a matter, give them a sincere one. Don't lie to them. Tell them the truth that they need to hear, but say it tactfully (politely).

"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well."

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

"There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up."

― John Holmes

6. Be caring and helpful to others. Use your God-given abilities to do something good for your friends. Be genuinely thoughtful towards them, and look for ways that you can help them. When you help others it makes you healthier and happier.

"To keep the Golden Rule we must put ourselves in other people's places, but to do that consists in and depends upon picturing ourselves in their places."

― Harry Emerson Fosdick

"Treat others how you want to be treated."

7. Treat your friends as you'd like to be treated. That's the Golden Rule! If you follow this principle religiously (regularly, constantly), you're bound to have successful long-term friendships.

*genuine adjective = (of a person, emotion, or action) sincere.

Synonyms: "sincere", "honest", "truthful", "unhypocritical", "meaning what one says", "straightforward", "direct", "frank", "candid", "open"; "artless", "natural", "unaffected", "guileless", "ingenuous"; informal "straight", "upfront", "on the level"; informal "on the up and up"; informal "dinkum"

(Oxford Dictionaries)

Did this post enthral (captivate, intrigue) you? If so, you may also want to read, "Arabic Word: Saadaqa", InshaaAllah إن شاء الله. Here you go, buddies:

https://thewordcollector2.tumblr.com/post/19550376816/arabic-word-saadaqa

Sources and Further Reading:

https://www.thefreedictionary.com/unswervingly

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/unswervingly

https://www.ahdictionary.com/word/search.html?q=friend

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/friend

http://www.rhymezone.com/r/rhyme.cgi?Word=Friend

https://www.wordsmyth.net/?ent=friend

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/friend

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/friendship

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/friendship

https://www.etymonline.com/word/friendship#etymonline_v_29856

https://www.brighthubeducation.com/learning-spanish/30877-proverbs-and-sayings-on-friendship-in-spanish/

https://www.superprof.us/blog/the-best-ten-quotes-from-the-iberian-peninsula/#4-isabel-allende

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/433323-la-verdadera-amistad-resiste-el-tiempo-la-distancia-y-el

https://www.enkiquotes.com/friendship-quotes-in-spanish.html

https://mjcodez.tumblr.com/

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/536038

https://books.google.tt/books?id=wTwQDgAAQBAJ&pg=PT340&lpg=PT340&dq=Amigo+sin+dinero,+eso+quiero,+que+dinero..+in+English&source=bl&ots=9kDxY1IM0S&sig=4SqduB-HImS8HlvoxIxIR37vXiI&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwizla_rmsPfAhUNuVkKHcAiAi8Q6AEwBnoECAkQAQ#v=onepage&q=Amigo%20sin%20dinero%2C%20eso%20quiero%2C%20que%20dinero..%20in%20English&f=false

https://www.ailmalaga.com/top-5-spanish-proverbs-friendship/

https://books.google.tt/books?id=P_GkCwAAQBAJ&pg=PT117&lpg=PT117&dq=Quien+tiene+un+amigo+tiene+un+tesoro+(A+man+that+has+a+friend+has+a+treasure)&source=bl&ots=0iiTHRFeeS&sig=vU_I9lVa1SDVYTvAEY_V6KSRyMM&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjglPmj58ffAhXKxlkKHQgOBYoQ6AEwDnoECAcQAQ#v=onepage&q=Quien%20tiene%20un%20amigo%20tiene%20un%20tesoro%20(A%20man%20that%20has%20a%20friend%20has%20a%20treasure)&f=false

https://books.google.tt/books?id=9LcGAAAAQAAJ&pg=PA16&lpg=PA16&dq=Al+amigo,+con+su+vicio,+meaning&source=bl&ots=gRU6lzEimZ&sig=WWRkl3OdqvVMECp-OBlc8ZYDFc4&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjhs9mC2PLfAhWQtlkKHZI9BWIQ6AEwF3oECAUQAQ#v=onepage&q=Al%20amigo%2C%20con%20su%20vicio%2C%20meaning&f=false

https://www.spanishplayground.net/spanish-quotes-friendship/

https://www.euroresidentes.com/entretenimiento/frases-citas-imagenes/20-refranes-cortos-sobre-las-amistades

https://www.keepinspiring.me/quotes-on-friendship/

http://sourcesofinsight.com/friendship-quotes/

http://www.quotegarden.com/friendship.html

https://www.frasess.net/frases-cortas-para-amigos-y-amigas-3.html

https://www.serenataflowers.com/pollennation/friendship-messages/

http://www.orkugifs.com/es/amistad.html

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english-french/rock

https://www.proz.com/kudoz/english-to-german/linguistics/573351-sophia-you-rock-you-re-my-best-friend.html

https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-say-Thank-you-for-your-friendship-You-rock-in-German-Is-Danke-f%C3%BCr-deine-Freundschaft-Du-bist-klasse-the-correct-way-of-saying-it

https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-say-Thank-you-for-your-friendship-You-rock-in-Spanish-Is-Gracias-por-tu-amistad-Eres-genial-the-correct-way-of-saying-it

https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-say-Thank-you-for-your-friendship-You-rock-in-Arabic-Is-Shukran-alaa-sadaaqatik-a-%D8%B4%D9%83%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%B9%D9%84%D9%89-%D8%B5%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%82%D8%AA%D9%83-Anta-raai-%D8%A3%D9%86%D8%AA?

https://www.italki.com/question/457675

https://m.facebook.com/MadinahArabicTuition/photos/a.10151510339920659/10156188349980659/?type=3&source=48&_ft_=mf_story_key.10156188351830659%3Atop_level_post_id.10156188351830659%3Atl_objid.10156188351830659%3Acontent_owner_id_new.286005100658%3Athrowback_story_fbid.10156188351830659%3Acall_to_action_type.MESSAGE_PAGE%3Apage_id.286005100658%3Aphoto_id.10156188349980659%3Astory_location.4%3Astory_attachment_style.photo%3Apage_insights.%7B%22286005100658%22%3A%7B%22role%22%3A1%2C%22page_id%22%3A286005100658%2C%22post_context%22%3A%7B%22story_fbid%22%3A10156188351830659%2C%22publish_time%22%3A1528107966%2C%22story_name%22%3A%22EntStatusCreationStory%22%2C%22object_fbtype%22%3A266%7D%2C%22actor_id%22%3A286005100658%2C%22psn%22%3A%22EntStatusCreationStory%22%2C%22sl%22%3A4%2C%22dm%22%3A%7B%22isShare%22%3A0%2C%22originalPostOwnerID%22%3A0%7D%2C%22targets%22%3A%5B%7B%22page_id%22%3A286005100658%2C%22actor_id%22%3A286005100658%2C%22role%22%3A1%2C%22post_id%22%3A10156188351830659%2C%22share_id%22%3A0%7D%5D%7D%7D&__tn__=EH-R

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/624481

https://xn--sgb8bg.net/

https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-translate-the-French-quote-Lamiti%C3%A9-sans-confiance-cest-une-fleur-sans-parfum-in-English-Is-Friendship-without-trust-is-a-flower-without-perfume-a-correct-translation

https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-translate-the-Spanish-quote-Una-amistad-sin-confianza-es-una-flor-sin-perfume-in-English-Is-A-friendship-without-trust-is-a-flower-without-perfume-a-correct-translation

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20190109131711AA3IreM

https://www.italki.com/question/458926

https://www.englishspanishlink.com/learn-spanish/games/congratulations.htm

https://quotabulary.com/famous-french-quotes-about-family-friendship

https://termbank.com/en/french-english/ami%20de%20tous;%20ami%20de%20personne

https://www.elearningfrench.com/french-friendship-proverbs.html

https://abuaminaelias.com/dailyhadithonline/2010/10/26/the-parable-of-a-good-friend-and-a-bad-friend/

https://www.thefreedictionary.com/indelible+ink

http://www.modele-texte.fr/message-amitie.php

https://termbank.com/en/spanish-english/cada%20quien%20con%20su%20cada%20cual

https://study.com/academy/lesson/german-proverbs-about-family-friendship.html

https://www.dict.cc/german-english/erkennt.html

https://www.smsmich.de/sprueche/Freundschaft/index.shtml

https://french.yabla.com/lesson-Punctuation-in-French-390

https://thewondrous.com/best-thank-you-quotes/

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/real-friends

https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-translate-this-Arabic-quote-As-sadaaqah-tabdau-inda-maa-tashuru-anna-ka-saadiq-maa-al-aakhar-wa-bidoon-aqniah-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B5%D9%91%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%82%D8%A9%D9%8F-%D8%AA%D8%A8%D8%AF%D8%A3

https://forum.wordreference.com/threads/life-is-better-with-true-friends.3539549/#post-17989952

https://forum.wordreference.com/threads/life-is-better-with-true-friends.3539554/

https://www.italki.com/question/459753

https://www.englishclub.com/ref/esl/Sayings/Quizzes/Money_2/The_rich_knows_not_who_is_his_friend_887.php

https://www.lexico.com/definition/hadith

https://dict.leo.org/forum/viewUnsolvedquery.php?idThread=1051541&lp=ende&lang=en&idForum=1

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/sympathize

https://www.lexico.com/definition/perfume

https://www.lexico.com/definition/vice

https://ponbee.com/you-make-me-happy-quotes/

https://www.lexico.com/definition/idiosyncrasy

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lay%20bare

https://forum.wordreference.com/threads/thank-god-im-blessed-and-fortunate-to-have-a-friend-like-you.3544560/

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20190204205952AA6VAJO

https://forum.wordreference.com/threads/o-my-friend-youre-the-candle-in-my-life.3545851/

https://www.wordreference.com/enar/reverse/forever

https://www.spanishdict.com/translate/te%20quiero%20asi%20de%20mucho

https://www.spanishdict.com/translate/te%20quiero%20mucho

https://www.spanishdict.com/translate/mejor%20amigo

https://www.spanishdict.com/translate/mejor%20amiga

https://www.englishtospanishraleigh.com/blog/te-amo-vs-te-quiero-differences-in-i-love-you-in-spanish

https://forum.wordreference.com/threads/cultivating-a-true-friendship.3549548/

https://www.italki.com/question/462815

https://www.exitoysuperacionpersonal.com/frases-de-alegria/

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/59699-joy-multiplies-when-it-is-shared-among-friends-but-grief

https://takelessons.com/blog/how-to-pronounce-Spanish-words

https://www.123teachme.com/learn_spanish/pronunciation_h_ch

https://studyspanish.com/pronunciation/listen-and-repeat/letter_z

https://www.lexico.com/definition/genuine

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/19884-be-yourself-everyone-else-is-already-taken

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-care-and-maintenance-of-friendship/

https://lifestyle.allwomenstalk.com/effortless-ways-to-show-someone-you-appreciate-them/

https://onlinecounsellingcollege.tumblr.com/post/182944809256/how-to-be-genuine-in-relationships

https://www.lexico.com/definition/kindred_spirit

https://www.macmillandictionary.com/dictionary/british/a-kindred-spirit-soul

Guys, this is where I leave you for today. I hope that you relished reading this entry, InshaaAllah إن شاء الله! Many thanks for reading it. I appreciate it. Take care, so long. Wassalaam 'alaikum والسّلام عليكم (and peace be with you)! :) :-h

Cherish your time with your family and friends,

Sam سام.

Post Script:

Thank you to all the people who genuinely help and support me! :) You matter and you make a difference. Please make sure you remember that, InshaaAllah إن شاء الله.

[adazieht]

Initially, I wrote an article for a Russian-speaking audience. I TRANSLATED WITH THE HELP OF AN ONLINE TRANSLATOR. WITHIN A FEW MONTHS I WILL TRANSLATE MYSELF, BUT MOST LIKELY TO THE GERMAN LANGUAGE.

Attention: I love the world of "Harry Potter," but I think the main character is antihero.

The system of roles that I have described for the story's characters is based on the Writer's Way (the old edition was called the Hero's Way), a classic Hollywood typology. Briefly about the typology Of " the way of the Writer/Hero's» The author believes that by giving a group of first-and second-plan characters clear roles that affect the plot and the Main Character, it is possible to create a strong story. Its typology was at first critically accepted, as proponents of chaotic plot creation thought that it would kill the individual. But in the end, everything turned out exactly the opposite and indeed the best pictures of American and European cinema were created using this typology. Proving once again that random writing can't create a clear and understandable story for female viewers.

------------------

In my opinion the path of the Writer/This is a very strong system, which has been present in the stories of Pixar, Disney, paramount, especially 20th century Fox and others for twenty years (or even more, it should be clarified). However, it creates at first glance clear restrictions that the authors first see and therefore decide to work within the framework, although the typology is intended to adapt to the authors, their mentality, mentality and territoriality (for example: the plot in Germany from an Irish immigrant will not be similar to the plot of an American, although they strictly followed the system of the role of heroes in the plot).

Let The Writer/The hero does not give full will in what characters to use and how. Since it has a total of 7 types (Hero, Trickster, guardian of the Threshold, Mentor, Werewolf, Partners and Shadow). Around which is usually built a dynamic, but short story, which is not easy for everyone to work through and yet is mostly suitable for a movie in the last 1.5 hours.

But it really can be useful, it's just better to Supplement it with your own interpretation and other typologies. It should be clarified that I will not touch on the manner of writing a story using the writer's Path system, since I do not share the opinion about its convenience. Although it is definitely more convenient than the classical system, which is actively taught in Russian universities, where thank you that there are not 25 steps in the story, which are told to put in 40 minutes of narration.

I used The Writer's Path/the hero to quickly think through what classic conflict/action should occur in connection with one of the characters.

Mentor. The mentor was the same Yoda from Star Wars. That is, the character performing the function of a Mentor should teach something to the Main Character/Hero, perhaps even accompany the story, like Merlin. Or teach a lesson and die provoking the Heroine / Hero into action (Uncle Ben from Spider-Man).

False Mentor. Negative Mentor, so to speak. He is trusted by the main character, he even teaches him, but leads thereby to destruction because he is actually an insidious manipulator. Dumbledore from Harry Potter.

The topic of Harry Potter as a character will be touched upon later to demonstrate how we can be manipulated by writers and writers who keep in mind the ideal image of the Main Character-Hercules.

The trickster. Tricksters are the most independent characters. People like to say that Loki from marvel is a Trickster, but in fact he only has trickster elements in his system of action. Namely, to act not only during the main actions on the screen, but also before, between, and behind them. Tricksters don't care about the goals of the Main Character, the Villain, or anyone else. They have their own goals and want to achieve them. Tricksters are always active and do not stand still, so they are rarely in the focus of the cameras or suddenly appear on the scene and thank you if they decide to support Hero. We can say that Tricksters are one of the most powerful characters, both mentally and physically, some of them therefore decide not to go into the main plot especially (if they are not interested in the reward for help or the object of the Main Character's hunt), because why should they go into what they decide with one hand? This is boring, and boredom is not for them, and they like to pretend to be physically weak. As a result, I will write that Tricksters exist so that the world in which the actions take place is alive. So that the tower over there will explode and attract attention, so that at this moment the reader will be hooked by its mystery trickster. To create an active and complete world atmosphere.

Guardian of the threshold. Always on the side of the villain. In the story, it serves to become the last obstacle for the hero, after which he is convinced of his strength and that he definitely needs to defeat the Shadow (the main villain). Sometimes it can take the side of the Hero, since the main role of the Guardian is educational and inspiring during the contact between them. The guardian can decide that the Hero is perfect or that his strength has earned his loyalty, and the Shadow will lose. Usually in the arches of the confrontation between Batman( the Hero) and the Joker (the Shadow), the role of the Guardian is performed by Harley Quinn, who is not rarely disappointed in the Shadow and tries to start living again. But most often the Threshold Guard is killed.

Werewolf. An inferior type in this typology. The author is still not completely sure how much it has the place to be, as a separate type, and not a special quality of other types. For example, a False mentor can also be called a Werewolf who seemed to be one, but turned out to be another. But a Werewolf takes place when the differences from the original image are so strong that it seems that it is a completely different character. That is, There was little red riding Hood - cute, but it turned out to be a serial killer who kills grandmothers and blames the wolf.

The shadow is always the main villain of the story. The shadow has similar features to the main character, not rarely the same weaknesses, desires, but unlike him, the Shadow does not restrain anything and it creates hell that. At the same time, because of similarities, they may have mutual understanding and dialogues, but because of differences, they can not coexist.

Partners-partners and there is nothing to describe here. Just the Hero's partners. All.

And now about the Hero/Heroine and what does the deception I mentioned earlier in the story about Harry Potter have to do with it?

A hero in the classical sense is all good deeds in one person and the desire to do everything for the best. This is a great image of a person who overcomes difficulties and solves the problems of the plot. Their personal plot is easy to understand and always equals the plot of the story.

However, there is also a plot about an anti-Hero. An antihero is a hero who tends to self-flagellate, do stupid things and negatively tune in to the world around him, trying on the mask of an often beaten person who can justify his negative outbursts, bad treatment of his Partners (including sitting on their necks). Antiheroes usually arise from an attempt to make the Trickster the main character, or to arouse pity from readers, often ending with the death of this antihero in order to teach the audience something.

And this is a description of the main character of "Harry Potter", that is, Harry himself. And classics stories about anti-Heroes he was also dragged through the plot, through his "do not want", while its true purpose (which is at least not entirely overlap with the purpose of his environment and history) a large part of the plot was not formed, and after the trigger 4 in the book, he started to want revenge for parents who didn't idealiziruete the image of his cause (revenge for ideal people and for the lost perfect life in complete comfort, instead of to create comfort; despite the fact that he also, like a typical anti-hero, clung to those who would give him this comfort). Then he learns information that tells him that perfect people are not completely perfect. And it is during this period that he begins to physically threaten other people, even committing actions that can kill someone, giving in to anger. Around the characters begin to die, which of course puts pressure on the antihero, but emotionally he does not often remember the deaths, quickly moving away (if it is not the characters who gave him either hope for comfort, or already giving comfort).

Like all anti-heroes, he also exhales sharply, then flares up, then sees that darkness is happening around him. Dies for the sake of achieving a good future (because the decision of the plot is always either in the death of the anti-hero, or because he can do nothing else). Sometimes the authors at the same time give the antihero during or after death a chance to solve the main conflict of the story plot with their own hands, organizing their rebirth, as if they are Phoenixes and are born again bright and clean.

Where do the legs of a typical anti-Hero story grow from? From Greek myths, where heroes often performed "feats" in which they not infrequently killed those who did not harm them or creatures that logically ate those who wandered into the heart of their territories, or killed deservedly villains, but again in the name of Victory, Revenge, to Order, and not justice.

Greek mythology as a whole can be characterized as an anti-Hero cult, which serves to satisfy and encourage the fact that at that time Greece was a very negative country in terms of moral appearance. However, these feats of HEROES were presented to all of us as something beautiful and truly heroic. The same disney cartoon about Hercules could not become anything else either. At the same time, thanks to the development of critical thinking people, it was noticed that the only one who had motivation - was Hades, and the same Zeus asshole.

And if you superimpose Hercules from the beginning of the story and Harry Potter, will there be a special difference in functionality? There are great forces and all around say that he is special, the world around him does not understand, he wants more and feels that somewhere there is a true comfort for him. He wants justice for Himself, not for others. Then something happens that gets him involved in the story's plot. He is given the opportunity to enter the magical world, where he seems to be in the theme, allowed to practice their own powers. At the same time, he does not want to return to the old world, as he is inclined to devalue all the good that he received there. He wants to become a Hero, feeling that he is an inferior classic Hero and something is wrong with him ( he is an anti-hero). And a sense of inferiority develops. There is a trigger that causes him to have a clearly formulated goal, but his goal is not perfect in fact. He is disappointed, but decides to act like a Hero, without showing empathy for others, emotionally distancing himself (he does not understand someone's reasons why they do this, but sees how they do it). There is a dangerous situation for their lives with the deaths of other people (or near deaths). The final, where he is white and cleared of doubt.

Very often, the Shadow of the anti-Hero in the final finally goes mad, reflecting the anti-Hero's obsession with his own goal. Remember when Hades and Voldemort had their roofs blown off?

This is the end of the article. Good luck to all and enjoy writing any texts.

[staticscreenwriting]

God only knows - Billy Hargrove

A/N: I wrote this for dacremontgomerylover’s writing challenge. I chose the prompts :  “Are you ready for this?” “Ready as I’ll ever be” // “I’m in love with you, okay?!” // “I want you more than anything!”. 

It’s a bit angsty but mostly It’s cheesy fluff to make your heart all warm and fuzzy.

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

If you should ever leave me Though life would still go on, believe me The world could show nothing to me So what good would living do me God only knows what I'd be without you

Billy’s face is pulled into a frown as he stares at the black suit that hangs from the door of his wardrobe, almost mocking him. He’s supposed to be wearing it, right this moment. He’s supposed to be sitting on a table with a bunch of people he doesn’t particularly care about and listen to music he doesn’t like and drink punch that Tommy H. undoubtedly tried to spike at some point. And he’s supposed to do all that only because it makes (Y/N) happy.

But the truth is, he’s not wearing the suit and he’s not suffering through the bad music choices of the DJ at prom. And he’s not getting to see (Y/N) in her dress. The one she talked about for so long with that breathtaking sparkle in her eyes that makes the world, Billy’s world, seem just a little less shitty.

No. He’s home, alone and fucking miserable. There’s Metallica blasting through the house and a cigarette dangling from his lips and god there’s this awful feeling in his chest that he can’t really explain or understand. It feels bad though. Like someone burst open his chest and reached into it to squeeze his heart tighter and tighter every time he reminds himself of what could’ve been. What should’ve been.

He wonders what (Y/N) is doing now, if she wastes even a hint of a thought on him right now. There’s no doubt in his mind that she looks breathtaking. He knows her dress is red to match her favorite lipstick and he knows she plans on wearing her hair in big curls. She mentioned it one day when they were hanging at Starcourt and shared a serving of Cheese fries. He didn’t show it then but he listened to every word she said. He always listens. Now he wonders if letting her know, if showing her he cares would’ve made a difference.

Because that’s what got him into this whole dilemma, isn’t it ? His inability to let go of stubborn ideas, of dreams that were never dreams to begin with and open up to the one person that ever bothered to listen.

Every time he thinks back to that moment 3 weeks ago, his chest grows tighter and his hands get clammy. It makes him so unimaginably angry, at himself above all.

It was raining that day but it was friday and they spent every friday parked at the edge of the quarry looking down at the water and talking about their week or ranting about their parents or, on rare occasions, coming up with theories on how Steve Harrington’s hair managed to stay that pouffy and voluminous.

So even with the rain crashing down from the heavens, they didn’t wanna break tradition. So they went anyway and got comfortable in the car, sharing cans of coke and a pack of Reese’s Pieces while Mötley Crüe was softly playing from the car radio.

“ So, I got some really exciting news to share “ (Y/N) said and Billy could almost feel the excitement radiating off of her ever word.

“ Yuh ? “ he murmured around a handful of candy, hastily stuffed into his mouth.

“ Mh. I got accepted to University of Michigan. Dad’s super excited about it, he was so close to fainting when he hear — hey are you okay ? “

Billy still remembers the moment she said those words. His heart dropped right down to his gut and he felt both anger and sadness taking over everything.

“ That’s it then, huh ? “ he spat out, jaw tight.

“ What ? “

“ You’re going. To fucking Michigan. So that’s it for us then ? “

“ What are you talking about ? “ (Y/N) asked, confusion masking her beautiful face.

“ I’m going back to California. You know this. You knew this when you applied. “

“ I know, but this is a huge deal, Billy. This is a great opportunity. “

“ Yeah well what about Berkeley? “ his voice got louder with every word. Laced with malice and pure unfiltered betrayal. This wasn’t what they had planned was it ? It was supposed to be them by the west coast. Them in California where things are better. Where things used to be good. Not fucking Michigan.

“ I didn’t get in, okay ? They rejected me. Is that what you want to hear ? I wasn’t good enough. “ there’s another sparkle in her eyes. One of sadness and unshed tears threatening to fall any minute.

“ So ? There’s more universities there. Don’t see why it has to be one in Michigan. It’s like our plan doesn’t even fucking matter to you!  “ he knew it was unfair then. Could feel the guilt taking over his entire being and seeping through every pore. But anger was a feeling Billy was accustomed to. One he knew so well. It was easier to give into that one than face the fact that he was being unreasonable, unfair, and a huge fucking asshole.

“ What plan Billy ? “ (Y/N) asked and threw her arms up in frustration, spilling a bit of coke on the car’s leather seat. “ there is no fucking plan if it doesn’t involve a college for me to go to. All you plan is to go back. That is it. You have no perspective. There is nothing for you to go back to. And I — I would’ve done it if I could’ve. Because it makes you happy. But I need something to work towards. I need a future that doesn’t consist of just going to California and then watching what happens. I was hoping that you would be excited for me and that you would maybe consider putting the move on a hold and come with me until I’m done with university. I’ll have a degree then and an idea on how to build a future in California. Or we could do long distance until I’m done with school. Lots of people do it. . It’s not never it’s just — a little later than you were hoping for. “

In all honesty, she’s the one good thing in his life. The girl who somehow wormed herself in and never left again. The one girl he ever truly loved. But that wasn’t enough in that moment. Not enough  to fight off all the anger and frustration. All the misguided and misplaced fury. Sometimes love isn’t enough. Sometimes anger is louder. Sometimes hurt is. Sometimes fear.

“ No. “

“ No ? You haven’t even — “

“ I said NO !” his voice rang through the car at an ear shattering volume and to him, it sounded an awful lot like the voice of his father. His blood went cold, his hands went clammy and all Billy wanted then, was to turn back time to when things with (Y/N) were easy. When he could still fool himself into thinking that things would work themselves out in the end and ignore the fact that his idea for the future was hazy at best and that asking of her to go with it, was absolutely selfish.

“ So that’s it ? California or nothing ? California or break up entirely ? “ her voice was soft and quiet and he could tell just how close she was to crying. And he hated himself for that, he still hates himself for that.

He didn’t respond with words then, just shrugged his shoulders like the stubborn baby he was, he is. He didn’t want to break up, god no. He loves this girl and even if he never told her that it was in all he did. In the way he didn’t hate going to school. In how he picked her up for class every morning. How he was comfortable just sitting with her and talking. How he told her about his mom. About his dad. In kisses and touches and hushed words when the night was young and quiet.

But he had always had this idea of the future, that he would go back to California as soon as possible and once he returned, things would magically solve themselves. Things would be better. Good even. He never once thought about giving up that plan, that dream of a future that seemed an awful lot like a lie. But it was a comfortable lie. One he liked to believe in.

One that didn’t terrify him as much as the idea of going to Michigan did. Even if that involved her.

“ Guess that’s it. Ball’s in your court “ He didn’t even dare look at her then. Just hearing the tears in her voice. The sadness. The unmistakable sniffles coming from his right, were enough to break his heart. Seeing it would’ve absolutely killed him.

“ Wow, “ she sighed followed by another sniffle “ I can’t believe this. You expect me to give up a secure future. A place at a university that means a lot to my family. For what ? Being a little housewife while you do one odd job after another pretending that all is well. Like being in California magically fixes every problem we have. It doesn’t work like that Billy. If I come, I’ll just be miserable. “

He knew this. Knew that every word she was saying was right. And yet, he was too stubborn to admit it. To her and to himself.

“ For me. You’d give it up for me. “

From the corner of his eyes could see her shaking her head and taking a deep, shaky breath “ No Billy. I’d end up absolutely hating you. “

The next words were some of the hardest he ever had to say and yet they slipped off his tongue as if they were nothing. As if they didn’t change anything.

“ Guess that’s it then. Get out of the car !“

And it was then, that he looked at her for the first time since their fight had started. And despite the tears running down her face and her hair being all messed up from combing her fingers through it in frustration, he thought she was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. To finally face all that he was giving up for selfish reasons, made him realize just how shit of a person he really was. And maybe people had been right all along. Neil. People at school. All of them. Billy Hargrove was an asshole. A liability. He broke things. Good things. The best things. He had actively and on his own accord, broken the one thing, the one person he loved most in the world. And he deserved all the shit that was coming to him. The anger. The pain. The heartbreak.

She didn’t respond, just shook her head, grabbed her bag and opened the door. As she stepped into the rain, Billy could see her jeans getting soaked in the matter of seconds and clinging to her legs. If this had been a movie, he would’ve gotten out of the car and ran up to her. Give her some grand gesture, some romantic speech about how much he loves her and use a lot of big words. He would’ve kissed her and the camera would’ve panned away with some sappy song playing in the background.

But this wasn’t a movie and if it had been, Billy sure wouldn’t have been the hero.

Billy’s face is pulled into a frown as he stares at the black suit that hangs from the door of his wardrobe, almost mocking him. He’s supposed to be wearing it, right this moment. But he’s not and it’s because he fucked up.

His eyes glance towards the ticket placed on his bedside table. The one (Y/N) had bought for him in hopes of spending prom together. The one she’d given him with that huge signature smile on her face.

He wonders if she’s having a good time, if she’s smiling that way now. If today is just another stop on her path to greatness. Because despite it all, Billy thinks she’s destined for greatness and he’s insanely proud of her. And if he wasn’t such a stubborn ass he’d admit to the fact that she deserves so much more than an uncertain future in a state that was never home to her with someone like him. And if he wasn’t such an ass he’d admit to himself that that state won’t be home for him either. No matter the memories. None of what made it home is still there. His mom is dead. His grandparents are dead. There’s no love there. And he actively fucked up the one chance of taking his love there with him.

There’s no love in California but there is love here.

He looks at the photo stuck in the corner of his mirror. It’s of (Y/N) and him and it was taken on his 18th birthday. She was the only one to remember. But that didn’t matter. She was the only person that Billy wanted to spend it with anyway. She’s smiling in the picture as Billy tries to look grumpy about the fact that she’s placed some silly birthday hat on his head. There’s a smirk hidden in the corner of his lips though. Because she makes things happy and worth it. Even the dumb shit. Even the silly stuff.

And it’s then that Billy realizes that all his dreams of the future have two things in common, her and California. But dreaming of them now, without her, feels hollow and dull. And maybe it’s not the place that’s home anymore, that’s happiness, maybe it’s her.

-OOO-

A cheesy Spandau Ballet song echoes through the halls of Hawkins High. (Y/N) hates it for several reasons.

1: It’s a shitty song.

2: it makes for a great song to cuddle with your date on the dancefloor.

And when usually she isn’t one to be envious of other couples, tonight she might as well turn green all over.

This was supposed to be a good night. A night filled with dancing and fun and kisses and dreams of a future with Billy.

But it’s none of that. It’s just a reminder of all the things she doesn’t have. And despite knowing that choosing university, choosing a proper path in life, was the right choice, it doesn’t make her heart hurt any less.

So she slumps down on one of the bleachers, cup of punch in hand and frown on her face. The red tulle of her dress surrounds her like a cloud of red cotton candy.

“ You know you’re supposed to be having fun right ? “

It’s his voice that sends shivers down her spine and makes her heart beat twice as fast.

When she turns towards him, he’s not in a suit but in his signature jeans and white shirt but it’s buttoned all the way up for once and he’s wearing the red tie she bought him that matches the color of her dress perfectly. He looks delicious and it makes her angry. He doesn’t get to break up with her, kick her out of his car, not answer any calls and effectively break her heart and then — and THEN have the audacity to show up here and look like a young god.

“ Nah. You don’t get to do this “ she says and stands up and rushes off. Nowhere in particular just — just away from Billy.

But Billy is sneaky and … fast. (Y/N) doesn’t even realize he’s caught up to her by the time she feels his warm hand softly grabbing onto her arm and spin her around.

When she gets a good look at his face, it’s filled with so many emotions it’s hard to place them all. Billy isn’t usually one to show his feelings. He’s guarded and reserved and the only emotions he really puts on show are anger and lust. And sure, there have been moments when he allowed himself to be vulnerable. When he shared other emotions with her. Sadness and joy and all the things inbetween. Those are the moments that made her fall in love with him in the first place. Those are the moments that are so hard to forget now that she never gets to tell him how much she truly adores him.

“ (Y/N) stop running. “ he says and she’s this close to ripping him a new one. But there’s something in his voice that makes her stop. He seems — he seems sorry. Genuinely. And that’s not something she’s used to. Billy is stubborn and hard headed. He never says sorry.

“ What ? Why are you here, Billy ? “

“ To see you “ his hand lets go of her arm but slowly wanders down towards her hand, softly holding onto her fingers.

“ Yeah well you did. Now can you leave me alone ? You made it abundantly clear that we’re over. “

“ Wasn’t sure you were gonna be here “

“ Oh what, just because you didn’t want to come doesn’t meant I can’t go by myself. Isn’t that the same sentiment you’re going for with the California thing ? “

She says it to hurt him, deliberately. And it’s not fair but (Y/N) is sure whatever he’s feeling doesn’t even come close to the heartbreak he’s put her through. Ever since that night she’s been questioning everything. All the good moments. Was it really worth it? Did she really mean that little to him? Maybe it’s good she never told him how she felt. Maybe — maybe that would’ve completely ruined her.

“ I deserved that one “

“ You think ? Billy I — please just tell me if all we had was just you trying to pass the time. If all I was to you was a distraction until you could finally go home to California. “

His face falls and for a moment she regrets asking. But not knowing would’ve never let her mind go to ease ever again. Some things need to be said, no matter how hard the truth might hit you.

“ Never. Fuck, (Y/N). You were the only good thing in my life. You ARE the only good thing in my life. I don’t want you to think that for one single second. Not one goddamn second, you got me ? “

The tears are threatening to fall, again. It just doesn’t make sense.

“ Why are you here, Billy ? “

“ I’m in love with you, okay ? And I know I fucked up but I needed you to know that. “

His voice is raised and (Y/N) notices him getting more and more uncomfortable as the people around them take notice of their conversation.

And yet it doesn’t lessen the intensity of his words. Or change anything about the way he looks at her. Billy isn’t a person who does grand romantic gestures, especially not in public.

But he does this. Tell her he loves her in a room full of their classmates and he doesn’t waver or look away. He’s there in the moment and it’s all she ever wanted from him.

“ You love me ? “

“ Fuck yeah. I’m sorry I ever made you feel like I didn’t. “ Billy says and pulls her closer, cradling her face in his hand.

“ You look beautiful by the way. Smokin’ if I’m being honest. Like if Michelle Pfeiffer had a child with — I don’t fucking know, but you look incredible. “

“ You’re wearing the tie “.

“ I’m wearing the tie “

His lips are so close to hers she can feel his breath on her skin. And she wants to kiss him so badly, but no sweet words or love declarations suddenly make their problems go away. The fact still stands that her future doesn’t lie in California, at least not for now.

“ Billy ? “ (Y/N) says and pulls away slightly.

“ Hm ? “

“ Let’s get out of here. The music sucks. Tommy did a horrible job at spiking the punch and — “ she stops and looks around them for a moment, making all the nosy classmates around the avert their eyes “ — I think the people here are way too much into other people’s business. “

And he agrees, but not before pressing a soft peck to her lips. Because he’s still Billy Hargrove and if he’s presented with a chance to kiss his girl, even if it’s just a whisper of a touch, he’s gonna take it.

-OOO-

“ You’re a sight for sore eyes “

“ Oh shut up “

There it is again, that smile that he loves so much. He always thought telling her he loves her, actually saying those words, would be hard. That it would fundamentally change things.

It wasn’t and it didn’t. It just slipped out and it took a big weight off of his shoulders. Because whatever comes now, at least she knows how much she truly means to him.

It’s not fundamentally different it’s just — lighter. Easier. He always thought that saying the words out loud would make it harder for him to leave her. That’s not true. It just makes it easier to stay.

(Y/N) is perched on the red leather booth of the diner, across from him. Tull pooling around her like marshmallow fluff. There’s a greasy burger clutched in her hand and she’s smiling. God how he missed her smile.

“ I got you something. I got it last week and I was so close to coming around your but then I — “

“ You chickened out ? “ she asks and smirks.

“ Nah. I don’t chicken out of anything. You know this babe. I just— something came up. “

“ Like what ? “ (Y/N) questions and raises her eyebrow in suspicion.

Like my nerves. He thinks, but doesn’t say.

“ Like Tommy. Idiot locked himself out of his car. Had me pick the lock. “

And it’s not a lie. Not really. He did pick Tommy’s lock, just not that day.

“ How noble of you. “

“ Anyway — “ Billy starts again and fumbles around with his keys for a moment before placing something on the table in front of (Y/N).

“ A key chain ? “

“ Look at it. “

It’s a blue key chain with a bold yellow M on it. As (Y/N) realizes what it actually means, her heart starts beating a mile a minute.

“ It’s a Michigan key chain. Did you — did you drive up to campus ? That’s quite the drive, Billy. “

Billy nods “ Yup. Well I had to check out our future home. It looks nice up there. Pretty fancy. Heard they got some good bars. It’s better than Hawkins for sure. “

“ What are you saying ? “

There’s a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips and (Y/N) thinks it makes him look younger than he usually looks. Almost bashful. Softer. She wishes he would give her more smiles like this.

“ I got a matching one. “

“ Are you saying that you’re considering moving up there, with me ? “

Billy bites his lip and nods, waiting anxiously for her reaction.

And when it does come, it hits him full force. Right in his heart and swallows him whole. That smile. That goddamn smile that has him hooked. Line and sinker.

“ Billy, what about California ? I don’t want you to give up your dreams for me. If it’s what you really want I think we could make it work in one way or another. “

Billy just shakes his head though “ No, (Y/N). I want California yeah. But that’s a place and it can fucking wait for us. They ain’t ready for us anyway. I want you more than anything. Those three weeks where I didn’t have you around made me realize that I don’t want a future anywhere if it doesn’t include you. We’re gonna make Michigan our fucking bitch. “

There’s a smile on his face so big, (Y/N) doesn’t think she’s ever seen him smile that hard. She thinks it’s her favorite sight of all time.

It’s when the sounds of God Only Knows by the Beach Boys stars sounding through the diner, that Billy gets up and holds out his hand to (Y/N) who raises her eyebrow in question.

“ I think I owe you a dance, don’t I ? “

“ You hate dancing. “

“ I also hate ties and buttoning up my shirts and yet here I am. You wanna do this or not ? “

(Y/N) take a last sip of her soda before getting up and being pulled into Billy’s arms.

To have him hold her tight and sway with her, it when she realizes how much she missed this boy. Flaws and issues and all, he’s her boy. Her Billy.

“ I can’t wait to start this journey with you. “ (Y/N) murmures as her head rests against his shoulder.

“ I’m so proud of you, (Y/N). I know I didn’t say it when I should have but you’re — you’re so cool. Pretty sure you’re the only person with an ass almost as good as mine. And you — you make life seem less shit which is really all I can ask for. “

“ I love you Billy Hargrove “

It’s the first time he hears those words from anyone that isn’t his mother. There’s no way to properly express just how they make him feel.

Being loved is terrifying but he thinks it might just be worth it.

“ And I love you. “

“ Are you ready for this ? “ she asks, a gentle expression on her face and endless adventure sparkling in her eyes.

“ Ready as I’ll ever be. “

And it’s true. Nothing has ever felt more true in his life except maybe the fact that he’s in love with her.

Billy doesn’t know what’s gonna happen. He doesn’t know if things will work out. What he does know though, is that he loves her and that a future without her seems really fucking boring and miserable.

But that’s not a future he’ll have to face anytime soon.

She’s here in his arms and as her lips softly meet his, he can’t wait for more moments like these. In Indiana or Michigan or California. It doesn’t matter as long as they’re together.

And maybe sometimes love is enough to overcome the pain and the hurt and the fear.

And maybe sometimes life gives you a moment when it does feel like a movie.

And maybe sometimes even someone like Billy Hargrove gets to be the hero in that scene.

[dusuessekartoffel]

Some Thoughts on Druck Season 3, or: a Love Letter to Matteo’s Season

Okay, here we are. The season ended two weeks ago. I don’t think I’ll ever be over it. I don’t think I’ll ever fully recover from watching it all live. It was stressful as hell and and it was more emotional than I ever could have anticipated and it was so, so satisfying. It took over my life for ten weeks, which I’m somehow grateful for, even if it probably took away ten years from my lifespan. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to express quite how this season makes me feel. I can try, but I really don’t think I can put all my feelings into words. (Which is frustrating, because words are what I’m good at, usually. But I’ll just have to accept that and try.) These are just some of my thoughts on Matteo’s season, because otherwise this would turn into a novel.

From the moment we saw Matteo Florenzi in season 1, I knew his season was going to be good. I knew it was going to be my favourite season 3 remake. I knew Michelangelo Fortuzzi would do Matteo and Isak justice. And yet, I could have never imagined this. I never thought I would love this season as much as I did. That I would feel this much for fictional characters and that their story would touch me so much. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this about any two fictional characters. Ever. (Not even Harry Potter and that is the one story that has stuck with me for 13 years now.)

Those people who, like me, have been in the fandom since the very beginning, will surely remember how we all knew how much we needed Matteo’s season when this disaster teenage boy first interrupted Hanna and Jonas in the very first clip. And then, sometime towards the end of season 1, people started advocating for trans Even. And I honestly think none of us would have ever expected that Druck would actually make their Even character trans. There was a casting call for a trans actor sometime last fall, but it was explained that it was for another show (which I’m guessing was a lie) and again, no one got their hopes up. When we saw David in season 2, the theories started, but still no one wanted to set themselves up for disappointment. And then Matteo saw David on that first Monday and it was confirmed that beanie boy was German Even and I will never forget how it felt to watch that scene for the first time and to see the fandom’s reactions to it, especially trans fans’ reactions. That Monday was when I realised that a. this season was truly going to be spectacular and that b. I could say goodbye to my life for the next ten weeks. That Monday was when “Druck is a show I like and think is really good” turned into “Druck is more or less the best thing I’ve ever seen and my life will now revolve around waiting for updates and then obsessing over them.” (You think I’m exaggerating, but seriously, on that Monday, I could barely concentrate on my classes and when I got home, I rewatched and rewatched the clip and I already felt way more for this show than I ever thought I would.)

This season was everything. It has its flaws, sure, and we shouldn’t ignore them. Criticising the things you like is good and healthy and we should never stop doing it. But the season also has its good parts, so, so many good parts. This is about the good parts because they are what made me fall in love with Druck again and again and again. (Also because a lot of people have talked about the bad parts and done it better than I ever could.)

David and Matteo have easily become my favourite version of Evak because they just feel so real. The show lets them be just two dumb teenage boys in love. It’s in everything, from both of the actors being the actual age of the characters, to them bonding over Matteo installing that switch thing (I’m honestly too dumb to understand what exactly he did), to Matteo calling David “Alter,” to their first date where they played table tennis with their hands and without a ball, to their dumb playful fights, to that first “I love you,” to them having sex for the first time. That’s what makes it so good, that they’re teenagers. They’re real teenagers. That’s such a rare thing to see on tv nowadays and it shouldn’t be. I’m not even a teenager anymore and I feel more represented by Druck than I have in a long time by anything else.

There’s a million details about this season and about Druck in general that make me love it so much. The music, which is always so good and so fitting. The flawless acting. The fact that they do workshops with the actors, writers and directors before every season and they adjust the characters and the scripts accordingly. The fact that Lukas was allowed to help on the last few scripts. The amazing and always entertaining Instagram content. (Oh, how I already miss #matteomonday and #florenzifriday.) How very much in character everything is all the time. Samstag 20:55. The kissing noises. (Don’t get me started on the kissing noises, because they may be my favourite thing about this season.) The sheer accuracy of everything. How stuff is properly built up and followed through and the writing is just so good.

One of my absolute favourite things about Druck is how good they are at characterisation. It was already spectacular in season 2, when we all suddenly fell for Alex right along with Mia, but they really took that to a new level in season 3. Matteo is one of the most well-written, well-developed characters I have ever come across. His character development was so good and so earned and it feels truly special to have witnessed it in real time. And David. Don’t even get me started on David. I do think a good part of this is Lukas Alexander’s sheer brilliance, but David is by far the most fleshed out and well-written Even character in all the remakes. He got to tell his own story and talk about his own experiences without ever being talked over and that is exactly how it should be. He was portrayed as kind and caring and desirable and funny and complex and more or less the best thing that has ever happened to Matteo. We all fell in love with him as hard as Matteo did. (How could we not have, when he’s the most loveable character played by the most loveable actor?)

But the thing with Druck is, every single character is multidimensional. They all have their little stories without taking away from the main character. I know a lot of people don’t like Sara, but again, she is by far the most well-written Sara/Emma character in the Skam universe. She has her own story and character development and I actually really enjoyed the scenes with her (when she wasn’t trying to get Matteo to kiss her). Eskild is one of my favourite Skam characters, but he doesn’t really get his own story, ever. Hans has an entire background we know about and, just like everyone else, he is also constantly learning and growing. Carlos and Abdi, who could have easily just been there for comic relief, are both fleshed out characters who have their own unique relationship with Matteo. Even Linn, who is in very few clips, has her own, distinct personality and got a cute little storyline about searching for a hobby.

Druck can be a bit messy sometimes and there’s a shit ton of continuity errors, but I think the fact that we are so ready to forgive them for that says a lot. The thing about Druck is that the people behind it care so much. They want to tell a beautiful story and they want to do it right. That doesn’t mean that they never fuck up, but throughout the entire show you can just feel the love they have for their characters and their stories. The fact that they listened to their viewers and gave us David says so much. So does the fact that they had Lukas Alexander work on the last three scripts with them. Or the fact that they broke their “no interviews” rule for those two videos with Annika to educate their viewers. Ever since we learned that they do workshops with the actors, directors and writers before each season starts to adjust the characters and the stories to the actors, I can’t stop thinking about that. It’s such a good example of just how much they care.

I’ve said this a lot this season, but Druck just gets it. They get how to be a remake (there’s a million examples of this, but my favourite one will always be how they took the iconic swimming pool kiss and turned it into their very own thing that felt absolutely fitting to their own characters while also referencing Skam). They get what Skam is all about: it’s about telling stories that matter, creating characters that people can relate to and being brave enough to try new things. This is why Druck is my favourite. Because it doesn’t try to be Skam, but in that, they do exactly what Skam was always meant to do. They open their viewers’ minds and they give people these beautiful stories that they can relate to in ways they may have never been able to relate to anything before. And it’s not even just things like the fact that so many trans viewers have been able to see themselves represented properly for the first time (though of course that is so important), it’s also just how well they portray how being a teenager in Germany feels. I’m not even German and I have never seen myself and my own school experience reflected more in a show. That Abi-Streich transported me right back to the end of my school days and made me feel all the things I felt back then. I have never had that with anything before.

So, yeah. Season 3 sure had it’s rocky parts. People are and always will be allowed to be upset about that. But it was nevertheless such a beautiful season. It made so many people feel seen and represented, whether in David or Matteo or any of the other characters. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a show like this. Going through the Druck tag can leave you with the worst feeling sometimes, but so often, it made me feel joy. And it made me feel grateful. Watching this season live was one of the most stressful things I’ve ever done. But I wouldn’t miss it for anything. Because it was one of the most incredible things I’ve ever witnessed.

I don’t think I can quite put into words how much I love this season and this show in general. But I guess it comes down to this: I am so unbelievably grateful that I exist at the same time as this beautiful show. And I am so unbelievably grateful that I got to witness Matteo’s story and that it made me feel so much. Guess that’s how you explain “wunderschön” to the people who don’t speak German.

[luigiblood]

Nintendo Switch Online, 1 year in review...

Well, well, well... Nintendo Switch Online...

You’re cheap, but you’re too cheap in return sometimes. I want to talk about it and some of my frustrations about it (and not necessarily with Nintendo). To do this, I will talk about each feature seperately.

Online Play

The most obvious feature is Online Play. It went from being free to being paid, which is pretty much a problem but then the competitors do the same. Many Nintendo games do not have the most stable netplay, even though I do not have most of the problems that other people get.

I’m not going to do a P2P vs Dedicated, or rather I would like to say that people genuinely don’t understand basic netplay and are all going against P2P without knowing that some of the games that works fine are probably all running on P2P to begin with.

I’m not gonna go into the details, nor do I want to say I’m an expert, each have their own pros and cons, but I think the main issue is ultimately the netcode. Here’s hoping with GGPO being open source and free to use for professionals now, the future could be a lot brighter.

I would want Nintendo to take netcode a little more seriously and test it in homes with slower Internet. Testing it with Wi-Fi and Ethernet and everything.

Save Data Cloud

This feature technically works. You’d think it’s hard to fail, right?

Of course they did when some games just don’t provide the support for it because of fear that people may abuse it for cheating... Meh.

Nintendo uses the exemple of having a broken Switch to where this feature might come in handy. Too bad this also means completely lost saves for some of the most important games like Splatoon 2 or Animal Crossing, the latter being really annoying if you lose hundreds or even thousands of hours...

Smartphone App

This one is tough because potential was there. Truly a waste of time.

All of the main services could have just been a website that works on PC and Mobile. But I think the main issue is that people don’t really want to check stuff about their game all the time because there is simply not enough feedback.

There was actually better execution when SplatNet was a regular website accessible on every device, Super Mario Maker Bookmark website too, instead everything is stuck to an app, limiting uses.

Content should be seen from everywhere when it’s possible. Making it work behind a subscription fee was a terrible idea.

And then let’s not even talk about the voice chat. That is a truly depressing thing. Why making it stuck to mobile? I get that you don’t want the Switch to process that stuff for performance reasons but truly that stuff is supported on it too...

Special Offers

Let me list what extra stuff we got from Nintendo Switch Online:

Exclusive Splatoon 2 Gears

Tetris 99

Game Vouchers

The right to buy NES/SNES Controllers

Game Trials (for only one game)

I did not list another thing that will be its own seperate bullet point.

Tetris 99 was truly the best part of this. It’s actually a pretty darn good game. Game Vouchers could have been nice if you couldn’t get the brand new games for cheaper in physical form.

Game Trials was a thing they tested at one point, but then they just didn’t bother...

We, subscribers, don’t really get a lot of extras, do we?

My Nintendo (Bonus Rant)

Nothing has been more of a waste than My Nintendo. Gold Points finally started to be kind of useful since it became an equivalent to a cent for the Switch eShop, but that’s the only good point I could give to it.

Its execution is terrible, and unlike many people, I do not have a lot of good memories about Club Nintendo (the European one, that said), because most of the cool items we only could get the stars we needed much later and then then the item was gone. That’s literally most of my experience with Club Nintendo.

When I learned that with the North American Club Nintendo you could get virtual console games and other cool shit I was genuinely disappointed how the European one was. And I’m not mentioning how the Japanese Club Nintendo had some of the cooler things than the west ever got.

And then My Nintendo has none of the cool things from any regional Club Nintendo... what’s the plan, Nintendo? Why does this exist?

The day 3DS and Wii U will stop being supported, what will happen to the vouchers that you guys always put up? Will it become even more useless?

NES / SNES Nintendo Switch Online

Now the real meat because that’s the stuff I really would like to talk about.

You guys know how involved I am with retro Nintendo content and I can be very invested about this kind of stuff because I just love Nintendo’s games.

Unlike many people, I don’t mind the subscription aspect and the fact you don’t really own these games anymore compared to Virtual Console games. I think this has ultimately been the better thing to do. However I find many problems with the execution of it, especially in the long run.

Due to its subscription nature, I did expect it to have less games than Virtual Console. Rights have to be renegotiated, and the most I expected were Nintendo games. Turns out we got some third parties, some even high profile, pretty cool.

But there are pretty infuriating stuff, like the slow drip feed we get. I get that you want to keep interest going for these games over time but there’s a lot of problems with that entails, and that’s how most of us are frustrated that Nintendo is not using the Switch to its highest potential, and especially about having all of the Nintendo games possible in a small amount of time.

Its portable nature wants us that Nintendo puts all of the retro games as quickly as possible, we want to dedicate our time to the Switch instead of plugging the Wii and Wii U for VC games that aren’t there. We want N64, GB/C/A, GameCube, and more. We want to have Mario Party 2 netplay in an official capacity, and so on...

I noticed the potential of retro Switch Online offer when I found myself addicted to Balloon Fight. Actually a game I’ve never downloaded off ROM sites before, as I usually dismissed it as being too simple. However the game was just there and I gave it a shot. This is one of the reasons why its subscription nature didn’t mind me, it got me to spend time with some games I usually wouldn’t spend time with, especially for NES.

I want to put a list of things that I want Nintendo to do with their retro offering to bring interest, but also sustain it:

- Bigger Drips of games

This seems trivial, but keep in mind that games have to be tested before going live, we pretty much want at least 3 games per month for each console. But stuff takes time and we at least want more communication about this aspect. We just want more games.

- Localized games

This is a personal pet peeve and only works for people whose native language is not English. I do not expect of Nintendo to localize retro games, but at least to release localized ROMs of games when they exist.

I expected of them to release these:

Kirby’s Adventure, French and German versions (yes, they exist)

Super Metroid, European version (that’s a bit more controversial however...)

Zelda: A Link To The Past, French and German versions (French even has an official 60hz version)

Yoshi’s Island, European version.

I know what you could say, 50hz games suck, music is slower- Stop. My only answer is fuck you.

Also, SNES 50hz games cannot have slower music, aside from a few rare ones. If you remember games having slower music on PAL SNES you have a bad memory and mixed up with NES or Mega Drive or something.

I don’t see how, as a developer myself, a selection menu could not be implemented for selecting the language for a game. That way you let people play whatever they want, it’s less painful, everyone is happy.

I still wish for Nintendo to localize retro games however, or maybe even bring unreleased localizations of games if they approved it back then...

- Random Game of the Day / Moment

This seems like a dumb idea, but when I played Balloon Fight I noticed how Nintendo could bring attention to games that don’t necessarily get it.

When the library gets bigger, some games will be left on the side over others, a system to bring motivation to play those games, even as simple as a random game name at the top, is better than what piracy can even bring you.

Maybe you could even implement a button that selects a random game.

- Game Tweaks / Special Versions

AKA USE LUA SCRIPTS IN GAMES

Now we’re starting to get a bit on the expensive side of things.

Special Versions of games aren’t really good on NES, they’re just save states. Some are useful (Golf Course unlocks), some are amusing (Zelda), but most of them are just a save state at the end of the game.

I want them to go on the next stage of this, actually hack the games, or even scripts on top of them. You see, some emulators have scripting features that can alter the game, in ways that improves them (map on Metroid NES), or outright gameplay altering (Kirby Canvas Curse gameplay on Super Mario Bros. 3).

I gave real exemples of use, these could be used to make games easier, harder, balanced, weirder, just like another concept that Nintendo did... NES REMIX. (What a waste of a concept... This really got people into NES games.)

I wish for Nintendo to use their LUA script system already in place for the menus, for their emulator.

This could also aid in development of localization of games without altering the ROM and without space issues.

And this could aid in making SNES Mouse games to work on a touch screen and more, it’s genuinely easy to figure out I could do it myself in a day... ;)

- Shared Library of games between Japan & International

...Well all I want is that I don’t have to need to download the japanese app or the japanese to download the international app to play other games that are not present in the local library. I thought this would have been solved with Super Puyo Puyo 2 but guess not.

This could have the added bonus of japanese games on top of the american (and european?) ones.

- Game Events

Sort of an extra to game tweaks, bringing events for people to play a specific retro game and give them gold points or something. Events could have objectives, achievements, scoreboards, many things could be done here.

You could even bring in the Nintendo World Championship ROMs, other competition stuff, or even games like soundlink games from the Satellaview like BS Zelda, BS Super Mario All-Stars and so on. These games are made for competition!

This is the ultimate thing to bring people to play retro games, bring the unusual games that most people have possibly never even heard about!

- Others

Some of those bullet points don’t need a big explanation:

More Unreleased Retro Games (Japan only or even anywhere)

Localize Retro Games that were never localized (not just in english!)

Borders

Small Control Scheme Help (to compensate for lack of manuals)

5-player Netplay support for SNES (Super Puyo Puyo 2 supports 4 player)

Netplay with Global Rooms with passwords and not just stuck to friends. (This should be a thing for EVERY GAME. This could even be a Switch OS feature.)

Automatic Matchmaking for certain games?

I have also always said this: I’m interested to work with you, Nintendo, on this kind of stuff...

[diego-hargreeve2]

light in the dark

Part Seventeen

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (Netflix)

Ship: Diego Hargreeves x Original Character

Warnings: Language, abuse (emotional and physical), mental illness, violence and, in later chapters, smut.

            Chapter Specific Warning: Poorly Translated Spanish

“Eh, Diego - cómo te va?” How you doing?

“Todo bien. Vienes a la pelea la próxima semana?” All good. Are you coming to the fight next week?

“Si, si - hazme dinero - tomar una inmersión para mí”. Yes, yes - make me money - take a dive for me.

It was a brief conversation between the two men, Diego, chuckling and relaxed as he threw the comments out while walking, but it had Evie’s eyes widening curiously. He lifted one arm, waving his hand dismissively at the comment, his other still wrapped through her fingers as he led her down to the boiler room. No sooner had they left the floor of the gym and she had to ask.

“What was that?”

“Hmm?”

“What language was that?” Eve asked him. She only knew English, and rarely heard other languages often enough to even reliably identify them. To hear Diego speaking, his accent and tone shifting so much, was intriguing – and attractive.

“That’s Spanish. José’s English isn’t so great” he explained.

“I didn’t know you spoke Spanish” Evie said, perching on the edge of the bed.

Diego shrugged, sitting down to unlace his boots. The Hargreeves children had been taught multiple languages – Spanish, French, German, Russian – as part of their extensive education. In truth Diego wasn’t entirely sure what their father’s intent was by teaching them so much, given that it didn’t seem he was planning to have them seek out careers and much of the knowledge forced into their heads seemed to have little relevance on missions. He still knew enough of the others to get by in a brief conversation, but Spanish was the one he’d kept and continued to learn.

“My Mom named us based on where we were born. She found our birth certificates. I was born in Mexico. Learning Spanish – eh, it made sense” he said.

In truth, Diego had a feeling that it didn’t make sense. It was unclear what the genetic result of the Event that created them was but given that none of the seven resembled the others that closely Diego had assumed they inherited ethnicity from their mothers, if nothing else. He told himself he didn’t care. The woman who gave birth to him sold him, and never been in contact since, so it shouldn’t matter – and yet Spanish came naturally to him and came in useful. Speaking the language had come easily to him, sometimes he could even express himself better than in English.

“Have you ever thought about…the woman who gave birth to you?” she asked, curious since he’d brought the topic up, but careful not to describe her as his mother. She knew how much he loved Grace. Even the way he talked about his childhood when it touched on her was different to talking about other members of the Hargreeves deeply dysfunctional family.

“No” he said bluntly. She knew him well enough by now to know that the tone he used wasn’t aimed specifically at her and she didn’t shut down like she might have in the past. Instead she waited, pulling her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her knees.

“We were sold. Did you know that?” he asked, glancing over. He’d read Vanya’s book – well, most of it, but its contents made him too angry and he couldn’t remember how many details were included. Eve nodded very slightly, silent and waiting for him to continue.

“The woman who gave birth to me – all our mothers – they sold us to Reginald. Like livestock. They sold their own children to a man they didn’t even know, who called us by numbers based on how useful he found us”. There was rage clear in his tone. This was not something Diego had forgotten or forgiven.

He hadn’t met his biological mother – none of the seven Hargreeves siblings had been in contact with their birth mothers. They were all handed over at just a few days old. It wasn’t a story Reginald dwelt on, he didn’t sit them around the fire and share it as some heart-warming tale of how the family came to be – all Diego knew was that the women had been compensated and the rest he had constructed. That didn’t mean he was any less bitter about the account. Kicking the boots off he glanced over at her, something seeming to occur to him and pulling him out his thoughts for a moment.

“You knew yours though” he said. It was a presumption, it wasn’t something they’d discussed much, but Eve shook her head.

“No. She….” For a moment she hesitated before continuing. “When I was just a toddler…she killed herself. She hung herself in the same shed they made me sleep in when my powers kept manifesting” she admitted. The tragic story recounted in such brevity pulled him out his thoughts of a woman he had never known, and he stared at her, incredulous.

“They made you sleep in the place your mother killed herself?” he repeated, and she shrugged.

“No wonder I kept having nightmares” Eve joked, attempting to make light of the situation. Prior to Judith hanging herself it had been a storehouse. It was emptied, least her sin taint and spoil their provisions, before a metal bedframe was put in the space and a lock on the outside of the door so it could contain Eve. Many nights she had stared up at row of hooks on the wall, wondering exactly which one her mother had used to anchor the ligature she put around her neck.

As she got older, she had debated doing the same thing herself.

“But…she must have been scared. Yours too…all of them” she pointed out, her voice soft. “I mean…I know you don’t know anything about the woman who birthed you…but my mother…” She paused, gazing off the side, her expression dissociated from her surroundings even as she continued to speak to him. “My mother was a seventeen-year-old virgin, one-minute kneeling and praying, the next screaming and in labour. I was told she was very devout. To have lived your life by so many rules, truly believing you were in the presence of God’s own messenger…and then to believe you’ve given birth to the Antichrist, and to have done so out of nowhere….”

She couldn’t bring herself to hate her mother. It wasn’t her fault. Eve was a decade older than her mother had been at the point of giving birth, out of nowhere, and she knew far more about the world – not to mention she didn’t have faith to lose. She had many more advantages and still couldn’t imagine how she’d cope with a pregnancy out of nowhere. Judith was a tragic figure, not the villain of her life.

Diego stared at her, at the softness and sadness written all over her face, stunned at the level of compassion she displayed. Her childhood had been every bit as bad as his, and in very different ways their mothers had left them at the mercy of cruel men who weren’t equipped to act as fathers, and yet she had none of his rage. It was a long moment as he stared at her, genuinely amazed at her ability to demonstrate empathy despite the life she’d been subjected to, and she gazed into space and wondered about a woman she had no memory of.

Returning to the present she looked over at him and flushed slightly.

“I just…I don’t think it’s ever right to sell a child. But I can’t even imagine…I’m sorry. I’m not excusing her”. Diego stood up and walked over to her, his fingers pushing back her hair, tips of the digits grazing the side of his neck as he shook his head, a slight smile, the anger of before disappeared. Eve wanted to keep that way, wanted to distract him from unhappy memories - and figured out a way to do it.

“Say something else” Eve asked him. He looked curious and confused in equal measure. “In Spanish” she clarified.

“Why?”

“I just…I like the sound of it”. Even without knowing what he was saying there was something about the flow, like a type of music, and his accent as he spoke…it was very attractive.

“What should I say?”

“Anything” she insisted.

“No sé qué decir” he admitted with a chuckle. I don't know what to say.

He moved to sit beside her on the bed as he spoke. As soon as he was beside her Eve dropped her legs, her knees falling against him, so she was half on his lap. She inched herself even closer, her gaze on his mouth as she spoke.  The fact she couldn’t understand a word, couldn’t even guess the meaning, didn’t bother her. What she noted was how the tone of his voice shifted as well as the accent, the way his mouth made different shapes than he used when speaking English, his full lips fascinating her.  

“Keep going” she urged. “Say something else”.

“I’m not a performing monkey” he told her, rolling his eyes. Evie pouted for a moment before shifting, throwing a leg over him to straddle his lap in a way she knew he found hard to resist. Her hips pressed against his, feeling his hands slide to her thighs immediately, her hands rested on his neck as she kissed him softly.

“Please?”

He considered for a moment, looking up at her, the loose curls of her hair falling around his face as though they were curtained off, in their own little world.

“Eres preciosa” he murmured after a moment. “Mi propio ángel”.

It was close enough to the English that she could guess at least part of the meaning and she flushed, flattered and shy and nervous all in one. Evie hadn’t yet learned how to take compliment – and while, on the one hand, she loved to hear him say these things, part of her couldn’t believe him. It felt too fragile, like his view of her could shatter at any moment and he’d realised how flawed she was wrong and look at her differently, no longer with that soft gaze.  

Diego recognised her reaction and had his own thoughts on why she struggled to hear these things – mostly based in the fact that she didn’t see herself as he did, and after a lifetime of poor treatment didn’t believe she deserved the kindness. It gave him an idea though of how he could satisfy her want to hear him speak Spanish and compliment her as much as he wanted.

“No tienes idea de lo guapa que eres” he murmured, leaning up to kiss her. “No puedo describir cómo me siento cuando estoy contigo. Me haces querer ser una mejor persona”.

You have no idea how beautiful you are. I can’t describe how I feel when I'm with you. You make me want to be a better person

“What did you say?” Evie asked, shifting closer to him again and he slid his hands from her thighs to her hips and higher, gripping the curve of her waist.  

“You’ll have to learn Spanish to find out” he teased gently, leaning in to kiss her.

i dont speak spanish hence the ‘poor translation’ warning, but i do like listening to david castenda speaking spanish in interviews. 

@mrsdiegohargreeves @carryon-doctor-lock @lovinglydiego @klausbutgayer @reblogserpent @me125 @fatbottomedcurls @rhymesmenagerie

[chungledown-bimothy]

Trust Me: Chapter 7

Hey look! A timely update! Consider it a preemptive apology to everyone who loves Logan. 

Chapter 1 Chapter 6 AO3 Chapter 8

Warnings: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF TORTURE and JD is a high schooler. It’s relatively short, and marked by ******* before and after. But it’s for sure there. Oh, and some swearing.

Author’s Note: The German translates to “I speak German too, and I know you killed them.”

Word Count: 2190

Tag List: @ccecode​ @emo-sanders-sides-loving-unicorn​ @ren-allen​ @ilovemygaydad​ @bloodropsblog​ @funsizedgremlin​ @raygelkitty​ @roxiefox23​ @thomasthesandersengine​ @spookyingarbageisland​ @band-be-boss-blog​

15 minutes passed before Logan broke the silence. "I understand that two members of the football team committed suicide two weeks ago. I know that you are new to the school, but it must be difficult nonetheless."

"Not really. I bounce around so much, I don't bother learning names or faces, let alone care about anyone. Besides, I heard they did it because they were gay and too homophobic to deal with it. No major loss there, in my opinion."

"That is… an interesting perspective, JD. I am almost afraid to ask about your thoughts on Heather Chandler's death."

"Sometimes even the shiniest of ivory towers are prisons, I suppose. One has to wonder, though, how much the bullying rate has dropped since she kicked the bucket. I mean, sure, one of the other Heathers is trying to take her place, but even she knows that she'll never measure up." He looked out the window and then back to Logan. "Hang on, I never told you where I live."

"I know where I'm going. What do you know about how Heather, Kurt, and Ram died?"

"If you say so," JD began, hesitantly. "Only what everyone knows. Heather drank drain cleaner, and Kurt and Ram shot each other. I heard someone saying that they used some special kind of bullets called ich lüge."

"Ich spreche auch Deutsch und ich weiß dass Sie sie umgebracht haben."

"H- how could you possibly know that? No one knows that. I was careful. I was perfect."

"Obviously, you were not. If you were truly careful, you would not have said anything about the bullets. You wanted to applaud yourself for being so much smarter than everyone else. You also would not have chosen such an emotionally-driven accomplice. I understand the appeal. We have a lot in common, JD. We both understand that emotion and personal attachments are nothing more than hindrances. But there is that one person who changes all of that. Who makes you want to know how to feel things. But ultimately, they will always choose their emotions over us. I was not completely certain that you killed them until you bragged about the bullets. Killing people who had been cruel towards your person, Miss Sawyer, aroused my suspicions. Rule number one of getting away with murder: only kill people to whom you are not linked."

"It's you, isn't it? The killer everyone's talking about. The Park Puzzler."

"That is the first honest and correct thing you have said all evening." Logan paused, considering JD's words. "Is that really what they are calling us? Disappointing, but not surprising. The best and brightest certainly do not go into journalism."

"You aren't gonna kill me. You said yourself, the first rule of getting away with it is killing strangers." Logan was filled with a savage glee, seeing the terror in his student's eyes, his desperate attempt to save himself.

"In most circumstances, yes, killing you would be a mistake. However, your father is known for leaving town and taking you with him unexpectedly. You have attended 10 high schools, I believe, and it is your senior year? Everyone knows that the killer is punishing people for their unpunished crimes, and how would a simple teacher know what you did? Especially one who does not interact with other teachers, let alone students. No one was around when you got in my car. No one has ever seen us interact outside of the rare occasions you showed up to my class." He sighed when he saw JD reach for the door handle. "Don't be stupid- there is no point in trying to escape. I engaged the child-lock this morning. You cannot open the door from the inside, and breaking through the window is difficult with only a fist for exceptionally strong individuals. Looking at you, I estimate that you have slightly below average upper body strength for an 18-year-old male."

"Well that's awfully rude, teach. So, I'm gonna die. Why? Why not just turn me over to the cops?"

"You are a young, white man who, when you want to, can be quite charismatic. The American justice system is skewed to protect people like you. Even that is predicated on the assumption that a prosecutor would take the case, which is unlikely, given how well you were able to convince everyone that they were suicides. Your kills were cold-blooded with very little motive outside of bloodlust, and you left very little to no evidence. Truthfully, I am rather impressed."

"And we're back to my question. Why do I have to die for doing such good work? You're a killer too. Why should I die, when you're no better than I am? If the papers are accurate, killing me will even up our body counts, so you aren't even better than me on that front."

"The quality of your work was admirable, but it was still wrong. You took three innocent lives, simply because you wanted to. I only kill those whose crimes go unpunished by the corrupt justice system. We are both killers, but my crusade is a righteous one."

"I still don't buy it. I trade in half-truths, straight-up lies, and manipulation, teach, and there's more to it than you're saying. You're gonna kill me anyway, and clearly we aren't to wherever it is you're taking me to do the job. Why not pass the time with a good old-fashioned villain monologue?"

"All will be revealed in due time. I have been reliably informed that people tend to dislike 'spoilers'."

"You're absolutely nuts. You know that, right? You're even more delusional than I am. And that's my self-harm of choice is fucking Slurpees."

"I find it interesting that you truly believe that your obsession with what is colloquially known as 'brain freeze' is less sane than your manipulation of Veronica Sawyer and the cold-blooded murders of your peers."

"Peers? That's bullshit. They were, at best, vapid instruments of the system."

"And for that, they deserved death?"

JD shrugged. "I would do anything to protect Veronica from assholes like that."

"As I would do anything to protect my sibling from a world that turns a blind eye to the crimes of assholes like you. We are at an ideological impasse. That impasse, however, is rendered irrelevant by my superior intellect. Ah, here we are." Before JD could respond, Logan reached across the car and emptied a syringe into his arm.

-

The first thing JD noticed when he came to was the rope around his wrists tying him to a chair. Struggling revealed that his ankles were bound as well, and the chair was bolted to the ground. He was surprised to find that he wasn't gagged. Looking around, he reasoned he could only be in a warehouse, and it was empty except for him and a video camera. He continued to struggle against his restraints, barely noticing when the rope burn broke his skin. He was also hungry, and his mouth felt like sandpaper.

"How long was I out?" JD croaked, unsure if anyone was there.

"Approximately eighteen hours. It is 2pm on Saturday." JD jumped, not expecting Logan's voice to be so close behind him. "You are in luck. Normally, Patton would take a turn with you before I do anything, but they are… otherwise occupied. You should thank me- you will be useless to them once I have started with you, let alone finished. I am saving you potentially weeks of agony. The last one took a week and a half to learn his lesson. Only then could I begin my experiments."

"Experiments? What the fuck are you going to do to me?"

"As many things as you can endure."

"Why? Why not just kill me and get it over with? Satisfy your 'righteous crusade' without wasting time."

"And waste the opportunity to study how much the human body can endure? I think not. In all honesty, I care about the cause far less than Patton does. As I said, you will be spared their particular brand of torture, both physical and mental. I can only imagine what they'd do to you, given the fact that you murdered children, despite being a child yourself."

"We were all 18. Technically not children. Why, may I ask, won't I have the pleasure of making their acquaintance? They sound absolutely delightful."

"I am not surprised that your listening skills are subpar. They have other business to attend to."

"They're with someone, aren't they? That's why you've got such a big bug up your ass about emotional attachments and me and Veronica. It's rebellious child 101, teach. Lash out to get their attention. You aren't the center of their universe any more, and it's eating you alive." Logan flinched, and JD smirked; he'd hit his mark.

"Those who speak of what they know find too late that prudent silence is wise. This is doubly true for children who know nothing." He raised a hand, cutting JD off. "No more talking. Feel free to scream, however. Your responses will be recorded on that camera," he pointed, "and further analyzed later. I tend to get… distracted in the moment."

Logan briefly returned to the shadows of the warehouse before returning with a tank that seemed to be smoking. "This, JD, is liquid nitrogen. You mentioned your fondness for cold-induced pain. Let us see how you feel about it in the extreme. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest."

****************************

He put on thick gloves and an apron before opening the lid and pulling out a ladle full of liquid nitrogen. Very carefully, he stepped forward and slowly emptied the ladle onto JD's arm.

The first drops hit JD's skin with a sizzle, causing JD to flinch. That flinch quickly turned into convulsions and a scream he didn't know he was capable of making when the stream grew thicker. It burned. Every second was more painful than the last. He was on the edge of unconsciousness when the agony stopped getting worse- Logan had stopped pouring. JD didn't know how long he sat there, face contorted with pain, before he was able to open his eyes and look at his arm. He immediately wished he hadn't. From wrist to elbow, his arm was mostly violently red and blistered. What truly horrified him, however, were the areas that weren't red at all, but were an unnatural grayish-yellow.

***************************

"That is third degree frostbite. Those uniquely discolored areas should turn black over the course of our time together." JD tried to scream, to swear, to cry, but he couldn't. He was hit with a wave of dizziness and nausea when he tried to open his mouth. "Ah yes, that would be the shock setting in. Breathe with me, JD. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight." Logan led him through the breathing exercise until he returned to a slightly more normal temperature. "Well done. Keep focusing on your breathing; I will be right back with some first aid."

"Wh- why bother?" JD asked when Logan returned without his gloves and apron, carrying a first aid kit. "Why not let me die from this?"

Logan gently began heating the frostbite with a warm, wet towel before responding. "There are more experiments to run. Even if this was the only one I had planned for you, seeing how it heals is a crucial part of the process. My goal isn't killing you. My goal is observing how the human body reacts to and recovers from various extreme stimuli. Letting you die would be extremely counterproductive. For now, at least." Logan began wrapping JD's arm with bandages. "There we go. That should be adequate to keep you alive and will hopefully prevent gangrene. The point is to study frostbite, not gangrene."

"Why thank you." JD smirked the best he could, but even he knew that it was, at best, a pitiful attempt.

"You certainly are strong, JD. Most people would not dare being sarcastic in the face of their torturer. Drink this." Logan demanded, holding a water bottle to his lips. "Good. I suggest you get comfortable. I will be back tomorrow to change your bandages and check on you. Can't have you dying before I allow it."

-

Sunday

"Oh Logan, he's absolutely wonderful. He's so smart, kind, and handsome. He didn't even blink when he learned my pronouns! And he said the most beautiful things about Monet and Impressionism. Aahh, I wish I could stay and tell you all about it and him, but I have to spend some time at the coffee shop- between our work and Virgil, I haven't spent nearly enough time there!" Patton got to the door before turning around. "Oh, and I'd love to know what you were up to yesterday- I called, but you didn't answer or call me back. That's why I had to come check on you before going to work. I'll be back around eight tonight, okay? See you then!" Patton was out the door before Logan could respond. Eleven hours. Plenty of time to tend to JD and come up with a convincing lie.

[sinnhelmingrmoved]

hel + the influence her status has on relationships.

or, how being a queen defines almost every interaction hel has with others.

Her Subjects

You mean the people Hel had to supervise from a tender age when she needed more supervision than they did? Yes, that’s what makes Hel’s relationship with her subjects such a layered point. On the outer surface, Hel is just what a winter royal lady should be -- detached and mythic, ruling from atop her throne and passing down judgment and favors as her people ask it of her. That is not, however, the heart of the matter, and the truth is part of what keeps her people so loyal and reliant upon their outsider queen for leadership.

In many respects Hel is a mother figure to the dead of her realm, a divine matriarch who comes from on high to soothe and punish as needed. She cares deeply for her subjects, and they repay her devotion in kind. She provides and protects, and in turn they pay tribute and praise for her work. Whatever else their queen might be, she is doing her best for them, and has never led them astray yet. She gives them freedom to reach out and grow as a people, rather like a mother allowing her charges to leave the nest. In a strange world, their queen is unmoving and steady as the sun most have forgotten, hiding her more mercurial nature and personal struggles far from the public eye. She can move among the dead of Helheim without fear of reprisal, accepted in every village or outpost with great respect.

She even allows them little games, when they choose to play them. A little rebellion keeps them all from going stir crazy, and Hel is content to play games of tactics and defense against certain subjects when they are of a mind to storm Eljudnir and play revolution. She even encourages it, as if they were practice for the Great War that binds them all to her. She knows the difference between boredom stirring the old general to familiar maneuvers and the upstart who wants to usurp her judgment and claw their way to Valhalla. The former she can permit, graciously, and the latter she will punish.

Mother though she might be, she is still divine, and worse still chthonic and vengeful. Those who truly make a move against her or those under her protection are swiftly swept into Nidhogg’s jaws, left to rot even in death until they reform in Niflheim as a specter of a ghost, less than dust. While her people love her as much as they can in their afterlife, they also know what she is capable of and how she can use the disobedient dead as proxy for another god on another throne.

Her Superiors

Strange as it might be to consider, depending on the verse there are those who outrank the Queen of Helheim and Niflheim. Even her friendship with Death is somewhat uneven, as the Endless trump all and are far older and more powerful than mere gods. On a less severe scale, there are gods who would laugh at the 1400 years she’s been alive in her mainverses, and to whom Hel shows respect as her elders.

In many ways, Hel is still a young goddess, and to certain perceptions might be seen as a child-queen even after everything she has been through. These are the few beings to whom Hel’s title means little, and to whom she will willingly play the inferior, whatever her title.

Anything older than gods will have Hel play the supplicant, the lesser being, humbled by their presence and ready to serve higher powers. Embodiments, titans, elder gods, creator deities and powerful independent spirits like Lucifer and Samael, all of them drive Hel to play the obedient child. The moment they give her another role, she will play it to the hilt if it is with her power lest she offend or overstep her boundaries. The only time Hel ever really allows herself to be loose around such creatures is when they make the effort to become closer to her, such as is the case with her patron and friend Death, and even then she has utmost respect for her dear friend.

Heads of pantheons will always draw utmost respect from Hel, as she is simply a member of the Norse assemblage rather than a leader. Within their realms she will always defer to such kings and queens, keeping her tongue skillful and reverent.  Much the same civility is extended to older death gods, whether they be friend, mentor, or stranger. Such rulers would have to make a direct request for Hel to drop courtesies and treat them more informally, and even then she would not immediately obey but ease into their request over time unless they really press the issue. The one exception to this rule is Odin, who is given only the barest respect through layers of ice.

The further back a pantheon’s golden age -- that is ,the day when their practice consumed a continent or even past geographical bounds -- the greater Hel’s esteem for its members. Hellenistic, Kemetic, Mesopotamian, and many Indigenous figures are ripe for displays of submission and high regard from the death goddess, no matter how long ago such glory days might have been or how she might come across one of its members. These deities are her elders, and she understands that their experiences and lessons carry great weight in the grand scheme of things.

I would also posit that Hel has nothing but respect for trickster gods and warrior queens, but that’s just the residue of her girlhood impression of her parents. There’s no grander meaning behind it. She admires the way they remind her of her loved ones, and for that is always glad of their company.

Her Subordinates

No, not her servants, though that could fill a post all its own and might very well in the future. I mean those whom she outranks socially, divine or infernal or even mortal aristocracy that fall short of her authority. This distinctly covers non-human power structures rather than referring to humanity as her social inferiors, which will be covered in a later part of the post.

For the most part, Hel is always one to lead by example -- she will treat others with her best manners and behavior, replete with use of titles and proper courtesies, doling out sirs, my ladies, and other forms of address liberally. While she will not be cowed into subservience with such company like she is with her superiors, she does not use her own power as reason to treat others as lesser.  She quite stumbled into her rule, after all, and knows that everyone is deserving of respect so long as they give it.

And that is your shade of difference between Hel’s superiors and subordinates. While Hel will tolerate disrespect from no one, she does have more of an opportunity to push back when it comes from lower down on the hierarchy. There’s a certain level of confidence in her dealings with lower classes that she lacks when dealing with her elders, an ability to firmly put her foot down and keep it down.

Basically, don’t start none with the queen, won’t get none from the queen. She’s willing to treat others as her equals only so long as they return the favor, and if they refuse such an agreement to prop themselves up, she will absolutely make them pay for it. Never physically, never as steeply as true rebels are in her own land, and perhaps not swiftly, but there will be a reckoning in time. Hel is always a queen, and these people cannot make her put that fact aside.

She does not expect to remind others where she stands, but she is not afraid to make it known as the situation calls for it.

Commoners Outside of Her Jurisdiction

Finally, people Hel can well and truly relax around. Depending on the realm and her notoriety, Hel might not even assert herself as a queen, traveling incognito across the land as a simple civilian. This is not possible in certain realms, such as Jotunheim and Asgard, but then there are places like Midgard and the stars that are vast that none might recognize her for what she is.

Hel will treat every person she meets with a certain politeness and affability, just as she would want to be treated by strangers. While she is no doubt deceiving them, it is simply by omission in most cases -- besides, who needs to know in this modern age that gods walk among them? It was much harder to hide in the old days, in certain parts of Midgard where she and her kin were on every lip. That is why she so savors the anonymity of the modern era, of traveling outside of Scandinavia and the Germanic regions from which her worship sprang.

She can never stay, and rarely takes anything back to her hole beneath Yggdrasil, but she wants to at least leave those she meets without complaint. Mild and often without duty, it is those ‘peasants’ who cross her path that get the closest to seeing Hel as a woman rather than an official, a figurehead, and ultimately a lie. She never asserts power over them, and why should she? Though she loves the common people, they are not hers to order about so long as they draw breath. She would never have it any other way.

Romance + Marriage

this is all i wanted to talk about and then i thought, i can expand this into a meta at every level. but oh boy, strap in, this is where it gets complicated.

I’ve touched before on the personal reasons why Hel does not do well in relationships, but I’ve neglected to mention why her duties and title might get in the way of a more romantic connection. Hel is, no matter the era, deeply committed to her realm and its responsibilities. There is no breaking her of this, in any capacity, and any would-be lover who sweeps in expecting to ‘save her’ and help her cut loose is going to find it difficult to further their relationship with Hel from that point. Her partner would need to respect her work and the care she shows her people, and understand that they cannot compete with it.

This is part of the reason Hel prefers to humor the idea of taking another ruler as lover -- they would be able to understand her obligations, and how they could never be put aside for personal gain or happiness. She would want someone who understands that balance rather than someone who attempts to disrupt it out of a misguided desire to ‘liberate’ Hel or make her happier.

Commitment is also difficult for Hel, given the aforementioned hesitation that her status as a ruler brings. Her realm is so separate from others, so bleak, that she would not dare keep a lover there, and her time apart from the throne varies depending on what others ask of her. Relationships would have an element of long distance, across realms at the very least, especially if a mortal were to catch her eye. Mortals do not do well in Helheim for an extended period, with the way time flows strangely there and all food is false once you cross Modgud’s bridge. An extended stay in Helheim can kill the unprepared mortal that trespasses, and so Hel would never invite a partner who is susceptible to death into her world.

Still, once a lover is past these hurdles -- as well as Hel’s own trauma and dysfunction concerning interpersonal relationships -- they should be set for a committed and loving long term relationship. Hel loves for keeps, and only death or cataclysmic change could ever convince her to release the object of her affection. If they can be content in this, then all is well, and they’ve reached the end of their romance arc.

New complications are only assured should her lover set their eyes on being her legal consort, or even something as simple as being properly married. Marriage is not as simple as an exchange of rings during a ceremony and merging of personal assets, there would be agreements to come to and contracts to be signed and offerings to be made, seeing as how she's a public official rather than a citizen. There would be exchanges of assets, a dowry to be paid given her high status and the society she was raised in, and a lover would likely have to give something of equal value in return. A queen’s marriage is as much a political and business transaction as it would be an act of love from Hel.

Half of Hel’s worries for marriage is that both she and Helheim have little to trade in terms of assets in such an arrangement. She has little in the way of wealth and her immediate family are all indisposed to help pay for her marriage, and her realm has nothing to offer in alliance or trade. Much as she would like to simply be married and done with it, she has almost nothing to offer as dowry or in land. Even her family name has been blackened over the millennia, providing little in terms of status should her spouse want to hitch their own pedigree to it.

She would be terrified of taking advantage of a lover with better assets in such circumstances, and more often than not Hel prefers to stay unmarried even in ship verses to prevent her own guilt and potential accusations against the relationship.That and Hel knows that a wedding isn’t the end all be all goal of a relationship, and she is perfectly happy without it.

Happier, perhaps, for the anxieties that would not hound her when being in a position to actually consider accepting a proposal, or God forbid, making such an offer herself.

So basically marriage for Hel is between a woman and her loving partner and that woman’s thousand and one insecurities as a public official with nothing to her name but dead land and a few baubles in the treasury. Because marriage is never just about love for a woman of her standing. Even if she really, truly wishes her life was simply her own.

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 9/10/21 - MALIGNANT, THE CARD COUNTER, TIFF 2021, LANGUAGE LESSONS, THE ALPINIST, EVERYBODY’S TALKING ABOUT JAMIE, FAUCI, and More!

Before we get to this week’s releases-- and there are a lot of them, though not necessarily wide releases -- I probably should mention that the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) is beginning this week up North across the board. I was unable to go in person, more due to the money than any worries about COVID. (Honestly, I have no idea what’s going on at the border right now between America and Canada, but I figured I better wait it out before attending TIFF in person… until I can actually afford it.)

This year’s TIFF offers a lot of premieres, most of them taking place in physical theaters in Toronto, such as Edgar Wright’s, Last Night in Soho, (which just premiered in Venice) and Universal’s musical, Dear Evan Hansen, as well as David Gordon Green’s horror sequel, Halloween Kills (which also just played in Venice oddly). Other movies playing TIFF include Jane Campion’s The Power of the Dog, and The Electrical Life of Louis Wain, both which star Benedict Cumberbatch. Mihael Peace's Encounter, starring Riz Ahmed and Octavia Spencer, and docs like Julia (as in "Child") and Attica. There’s even a doc about the Canadian rock band, Triumph! (I’m looking forward to that one.) Antoine Fuqua’s remake of the German film, The Guilty, starring TIFF regular Jake Gyllenhaal, will have its premiere, and many, many more. Too many to watch, let alone write about, but I’ll try to review a few of these over at Below the Line and maybe some here. (There are also lots of movies that premiered at Cannes in July that will play at TIFF, and some of those will also play at New York Film Festival later this month, which is where I’ll see them.)

A movie that I’ve been looking forward to for quite some time and is finally seeing the light of day is James Wan’s return to horror, MALIGNANT (Warner Bros.). Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll have a chance to see this before Friday, which is a bit of a bummer, but I’ll look forward to seeing it with the common people in a theater. Because I’m looking forward to this movie so much, I haven’t even watched the latest trailer, so I really don’t know too much about it, which may be for the better.

Of course, you know Wan’s name from some of the most successful horror franchises of the past two decades, starting with Saw in 2004. After a few movies that didn’t do quite so well, Wan reteamed with his Saw collaborator Leigh Whannell for Insidious in 2010, which also did very well and created a similarly successful franchise. (Whannell would go on to direct the third movie in the series, the respectable sci-fi thriller Upgrade, and then he directed 2020’s The Invisible Man for Universal, which was also a substantial hit.) Meanwhile Wan went on to direct The Conjuring in 2013 and its 2016 sequel, The Conjuring 2, based on the true case files of supernatural investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren, played by regular Wan collaborator Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga. Both of those “Conjuring” movies opened with $40 million+, and you guessed it, they also led to hugely successful franchises for Warner Bros with spin-offs galore.

Although Wan has been making big studio mega-blockbusters like Furious 7 and Aquaman in recent years -- and he’s hard at work on a sequel to the latter -- Malignant is his return to horror after a whole five years, which certainly is exciting for horror fans and those who love Wan’s style of horror particularly.

One thing that’s become fairly obvious from writing about box office over the past couple decades is that horror movies are rarely sold on the names of their stars, although Wan has a fine lead in the form of Annabelle Wallis, who just so happened to have starred in the 2014 The Conjuring prequel called Annabelle, which did quite well. (No, she did not play the title doll Annabelle, if you haven't seen it.) And that’s about it. The fact that Wan can do whatever he wants these days, and he decides to return to the horror genre without stacking the deck with all sorts of name actor, is pretty impressive. Even Saw had bigger names actors like Carey Elwes and Danny Glover!

Although I don’t know much about Malignant, it’s definitely giving me vibes of Sam Raimi’s Drag Me To Hell, the horror master’s return to horror after making three “Spider-Man” movies. Although it’s well-loved by horror fans, it ended up opening with just $15.8 million in the summer of 2009. That’s a little daunting when you figure that Malignant is opening in September and in the second weekend of a huge blockbuster like Marvel’s Shang-Chi.

But there’s something else that’s been bugging me, as excited as I am to see the movie. I’ve been doing this a long time, and Warner Bros. has become almost legendary for screening all their movies in advance… every single one. I can maybe think of two examples of movies that didn’t get advance critics screenings. Malignant is screening for critics but only on Thursday night with an embargo Thursday at 10pm. That is not the move of a studio confident in a movie they’re releasing. Maybe it’s to avoid spoilers or maybe it’s ‘cause Malignant returns Wan to the craziness of the Insidious movies rather than the more commercial and mainstream horror of The Conjuring movies. I don’t know, cause I haven’t seen it, but I'm still gonna go see it on Friday night, ‘cause I like James and want to fully support his movie.

But that adds another layer of foreboding to the horror movie that will also be on HBO Max Friday, and it’ll be so easy for the curious to just hit “play” on their remote to watch it that way, which is what I think most people will do. Because of this, I’m struggling to find a way that Malignant makes more than $13 million, taking quite a distant second place to Shang-Chi in its second weekend.

Opening in roughly 500 theaters Friday is Paul Schrader’s THE CARD COUNTER (Focus Features), which stars Oscar Isaac as former prison inmate and professional gambler, “William Tell,” who drives around the casino circuit making money by playing blackjack and poker. He meets two people on his journey that changes the course of his path, the first being Tye Sheridan’s Cirk (Yes, with a “C”), a young man whose father ended up killing himself after serving time in military prison for crimes at Abu Ghraib. Tiffany Haddish plays La Lina, a woman who sees Will’s talent playing cards and wants to put him in her stable of players. The relationship between these three characters is what keeps the movie interesting even when there are only a few minor dramatic fireworks.

If there’s any doubt that Schrader, a significant Hollywood player in the ‘70s and ‘80s, is firing on all cylinders then The Card Counter confirms that 2017’s First Reformed was no fluke, as Schrader remains valid and important well into his 70s. Like First Reformed, this film features an undeniably solid performance from Isaac, who plays such a subdued character, an enigma who every so often truly explodes.

Sheridan's sheepish Cirk seems like an odd choice in road companion, although Haddish proves to be quite a counter (pun intended) to Isaac, as she seems far more comfortable in Will's world. Trying to understand Will and what he sees in Cirk and why he joins the World Poker Tour circuit despite wanting to remain anonymous is what keeps The Card Counter so invigorating. (One odd thing is that despite the title and the opening which literally teaches the viewer how to count cards while playing Blackjack, in most of the movie he’s actually playing poker.)

Folks who enjoy poker movies and the intricacies of Vegas and the gambling community in general should really enjoy The Card Counter for that aspect alone, but then there's the past of the main character, which ties into Abu Ghraib and the horrors of the tortures committed there. Some might feel that two decades after 9/11 isn't the best time to bring those crimes back to the forefront, but Schrader ably explores what it must have been like for the military torturers after they were convicted.

Few screenwriters and filmmakers could pull off what Schrader does in terms of combining these elements, as the story weaves itself through these very different worlds. Frequent Schrader collaborator, Willem Dafoe, takes on a smaller but still significant role as “Gordo,” Will’s commanding officer who trained him to torture. Even so, one of my favorite moments is a scene in a diner where Will performs a card trick for Cirk that would make the late Ricky Jay proud just adds to one's enjoyment.

I will say that I wasn’t as thrilled by the movie’s last ten minutes, as it feels like Schrader ran out of steam in terms of how to resolve all the pieces of a puzzle, leaving a couple pieces out before completion. Regardless, The Card Counter is a constantly compelling film that keeps you invested in the different characters’ behavior as things happen to and around them.

As far as box office, The Card Counter isn't getting a very wide release but with so many movies in the top 10 quickly dropping away leaving movies like Shang-Chi at the top, it should leave room for Schrader's film to inch its way into the top 10 and maybe even the top 5!

A movie I’m unlikely to see and know very little… okay… nothing… about is the faith-based SHOW ME THE FATHER (Sony/AFFIRM Films), which will open in about 1,000 theaters on Friday. Okay, fine, you twisted my arm, and I looked it up. This is a new documentary about fatherhood from the Kendrick Brothers, the duo behind faith-based hits like War Room, Courageous, and Fireproof. I've seen none of those movies, though I know all of them exceeded expectations, but this is also a doc, and those rarely do as well at the box office. I wish I could give you a definitive number for this, but something makes me think it won’t make more than $2 million, even if the religious right seem less worried about COVID and vaccines and wearing masks in movie theaters than everyone else. Expect it to end up in the bottom of the Top 10 with lots of confused movie writers not knowing what it is.

Kristen Bell and Kirby Howell-Baptiste (who have appeared both on The Good Place and in Veronica Mars together) co-star in the comedy QUEENPINS (STXfilms), which is being released straight to Cinemark Theaters on Friday and then it will be on Paramount+ on Sept. 30.

In the movie, based on a true story, Bell plays Connie Kominski, a suburban Phoenix housewife who thrills to saving money with coupons, hatches a scheme with her best friend JoJo (Howell-Baptiste) to sell coupons via mail, not realizing that what they’re doing is illegal as they rack up millions of dollars. Unfortunately, they have Paul Walter Hauser’s Loss Prevention Manager Ken Miller on their tail, and he teams with postal inspector Simon Kilmurry (Vince Vaughn) to try to catch them women trying to scam the supermarkets.

This movie, written and directed by Aron Gaudet and Gita Pullapilly, actually is based on a true story, but it took me a little while to get into it, and it definitely had its ups and downs. The first thing one has to get past is the fact that this is essentially a heist film that involves illicit coupons, and at first, Connie writing letters of complaint to companies comes across a bit like a Greenberg for middle-aged women. (Note: that film's star, Ben Stiller is one of the movie's exec. producers.) On the other hand, Kristen Bell tends to be great in this kind of role and you can tell she's worked with Ms. Howell-Baptiste from their organic chemistry as best friends. Joel McHale has a tougher time fitting in as Connie's husband Rick, but that actually works in this case. (A little trivia fact: McHale, Howell-Baptiste and Natalie Morales, whose directorial debut is reviewed below, all appeared in BenDavid Grabinski's Happily, as did Stephen Root, who has a small role in Queenpins.)

Queenpins eventually falls into a steadier pace with the introduction of Hauser's character and then bringing Vaughn into the mix, although the two of them have very little interaction with the two female leads, as the film instead cuts between the two duos. Hauser essentially seems to be playing a jokier version of Richard Jewell here, constantly trying to get more involved in the case and wanting to be deputized by Vaughn. The two of them work well together, and there's only one unfortunate scene involving… it's too disgusting to mention, but it's where the film needlessly delves into gross-out humor, and that's also where it falters.

As much as the law in this movie act like buffoons, the two ladies don't seem very much smarter, doing idiotic things like buying Lamborghinis and guns in order to "clean” the illicit money from the coupon-selling scam. Because of that, Queenpins gets sillier and sillier and feels less like any sort of possible true story as it goes along. The movie basically comes across like a less skilled version of Butter, but in that case, it was a movie that shouldn't have worked but did. In this case, it's the exact opposite.

Cinemark Theaters only has about 331 theaters across America, including a lot in Texas, California, and Ohio, but honestly, I don't think awareness is high enough for Queenpins for it to make much of a mark, but even if it makes less than a million, it could theoretically break into the top 10 this weekend, but I think it will fall just short.

The movies above are the only ones that may be going even remotely wide, so because of that, this weekend’s box office will look something like this with Shang-Chi remaining #1 with relative ease, Malignant taking a distant second, and Candyman and Free Guy fighting it out for #3.

1. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (Marvel/Disney) - $33.5 million -56%

2. Malignant (Warner Bros.) - $13.6 million N/A

3. Candyman (Universal) - $4.8 million -53%

4. Free Guy (20th Century/Disney) - $4.5 million -42%

5. The Card Counter (Focus) - $2.2 million N/A

6. Jungle Cruise (Walt Disney Pictures) - $2.1 million -48%

7. Paw Patrol: The Movie (Paramount) - $2 million -50%

8. Show Me the Father (Sony/AFFIRM) - $2 million N/A

9. Don’t Breathe 2 (Sony/Screen Gems) - $2 million -30%

10. Respect (MGM) - $600,000 -57%

--- Queenpins (STXfilms) - $445,000 N/A

It was tough to pick a “Chosen One” this week, because there are a few decent films, but I had to go with Natalie Morales’ directorial debut, LANGUAGE LESSONS (Shout! Studios!), which she co-wrote and co-stars in with Mark Duplass. I saw it at SXSW back in March, and I loved it just as much a second time around, due to the simplicity of the premise and just how much Morales and her co-star do using similar Zoom technology we’ve all been using for the past 18 months. Duplass plays wealthy Californian Adam, whose husband buys him a series of Spanish lessons, given over Zoom by Morales’ character Cariño, who lives in Costa Rica.

You might think after over a year of mostly communicating with family and friends via Zoom, we’d be so sick of it that a movie that uses that as a conceit would be absolutely horrible, but maybe that’s why it’s easier to connect with what Morales and Duplass were attempting with this terrific piece of work. How these two people from different backgrounds interact begins slowly as might be the case while getting online language lessons from a new teacher. As they become more comfortable with each other, there’s more playfulness, as they begin to open up to each other. (Adam's Spanish teacher definitely has a dark side that comes out as things go along.)

I’m not sure if there was a lot of improvisation involved with the script as with some of the films Duplass did with the wonderful Lynn Shelton, but however they put this film together, it works in a similar way where it’s charming and funny, even during some of the more emotional moments. Because Duplass’ character is declared as gay fairly on, there's none of the attempts at making this some sort of meet-cute romance, as may have been the case with a studio movie. There's also never anything lascivious or creepy about their relationship, which makes some of the moments a little confounding, but ultimately, it all pays off.

Even though there’s a certain aspect of the movie that makes you want it to be kept organic and authentic-feeling, there is some gentle scoring by Gaby Moren that’s kept far behind the dialogue that does add something subliminal to the film.

Language Lessons is absolutely delightful -- definitely one of my favorite films of the year -- maybe because it thrives on its own simplicity by just having two actors doing what they do best.

Another great movie coming out in select theaters Friday is EVERYBODY’S TALKING ABOUT JAMIE (Amazon), starring Max Harwood as Jamie New, a fairly normal gay 16-year-old from Sheffield, England… other than the fact that he wants to be a drag queen. His mother Margaret (Sarah Lancashire) supports him, as does his best friend Pritti (Lauren Patel) but Jamie risks the ridicule and mocking and bullying of his entire Year 11 class as he proclaims his desire to attend prom in drag. This is the feature debut by Jonathan Butterell, a choreographer who directed the original stageplay.

I honestly wasn't really sure what to expect when I went to a theater to see this with a real audience. For one thing, I had no idea it was a musical. I had seen Max on some morning show talking about the movie and how it was based on the true story of Jamie Campbell, a British teen who wanted to be a drag queen, but I don’t remember him saying anything about singing or dancing. And the music and performances are all terrific, including all the young actors playing Jamie’s schoolmates, who have more than a few spectacular numbers to show off their own skills. (They’re kind of like the Greek chorus for the film.)

Harwood is exceedingly likeable, which is why he can carry this film, but it’s then an even bigger joy when Richard E. Grant shows up in a mentor role, as former drag queen “Loco Channel.” Grant has proven countless times he can do anything, and though his singing voice takes some adjusting to, it also leads to two absolutely amazing moments. Same with Lauren Patel and Sarah Lancashire, who each have numbers that would bring down the house on a Broadway stage but just gets the tears flowing as you’re watching on the screen. Sharon Horgan, who was just in the recent drama Together, plays more of the antagonist role as Jamie’s disapproving teacher, and her one number does not show that singing is one of her talents. (She does okay, and gets through it, at least.)

That aside, Everybody’s Talking About Jamie is a truly wonderful musical (and movie), one that took me quite by surprise, since I wasn't expecting something a bit more "Free to Be You and Me” (look it up). In fact, Harwood shines, and the cast around him does as well; the fact this musical was able to bring out so many emotions from me offers proof positive that it's a true winner.

Jamie is opening in select theaters this Friday, and then it will stream on Amazon Prime Video starting Sept. 17. I recommend going out and seeing it in a theater if it’s playing near you; it’s a real crowdpleaser, for sure.

Also launching on Amazon this Friday is the series, THE VOYEURS (Amazon), starring the terrific Sidney Sweeney (who many will know from Mike White’s The White Lotus on HBO Max) and Justice Smith as a young couple who move into a loft apartment in Downtown Montreal after which they become interested in the sex life of their neighbors across the street (played by Ben Hardy and Natash Liu Bordizzo).

I’ve really been looking forward to the action-thriller KATE (Netflix), starring Mary Elizabeth Winstead, who I love, so sue me. It also stars Woody Harrelson, who I’m also a fan of. Directed by Cedric Nicholas-Troyan (The Huntsman: Winter’s War), it has Winstead playing Kate, a kick-ass assassin who has 24 hours to get revenge on the man who tries to kill her, eventually teaming with the daughter of one of her targets. Harrelson plays her handler.

The fact that this movie, starring one of my favorite actresses playing an assassin and doing a bit more action than we've seen from Winstead in a while (Birds of Prey being an exception), comes so soon after The Protégé with Maggie Q may only be a coincidence, but whoever is making these movies clearly knows what I'm all about. This one also has a very tiny sci-fi angle as well, and much of it is set in Tokyo, so it has both those things going for it, too.

Is this Winstead's best role or movie? No, probably not, but it does show her versatility, the fact that she can do something like Scott Pilgrim and other types of genre, but also do serious drama, and this is much stronger a venture into a Japanese yakuza thriller by a Westerner than last week's Yakuza Princess. Much of that comes down to Winstead and Harrelson, who do a much better job selling even the weaker dialogue, because you can tell they're both taking it very seriously. Like Yakuza Princess (and Kill Bill, a model for both of them) Nicholas-Troyan leans heavily on his soundtrack and on some of the more stylish visuals, but at least this one offers other things beyond the constantly-circling camera in certain scenes.

Let's face it that watching Winstead taking part in some pretty impressive and violent fight and stunt sequences would probably be more than enough for me to enjoy this even, if there are moments that rip-off Kill Bill so obviously but again, better than other similar rip-offs. Eventually, Kate gets sidled with a young teen girl, Ani (Miku Martineau), the daughter of one of her victims, and that does take away from the "sole assassin” aspect but does give it more of the feel of The Professional. Maybe that would work better if Martineau didn’t seem much older than the teenager she was meant to be playing, which might be due to the fact that she swears more than Samuel L. Jackson. In some ways, Ani offers something more akin to Black Widow with a third act twist that few will see coming.

Ultimately, the movie works well as an action movie, if not slightly marred by its overuse of clichés. It probably will come as no surprise that I prefer seeing action movies like this on the biggest screen possible in a theater, and in fact, this did get a nominal theatrical run last week before streaming on Netflix Friday. Winstead's badassery does wonders at making sure that fans of her and the genre won't be disappointed by its few flaws.

Also hitting Netflix this week (today, in fact) is the doc BLOOD BROTHERS: MALCOLM X & MUHAMMAD ALI (Netflix), which has a fairly self-explanatory title. I haven't seen it yet.

A movie that people who liked the Oscar-winning Free Solo will also want to check out is Peter Mortimer and Nick Rosen’s THE ALPINIST (Red Bull Media/Roadside Attractions/Universal), a documentary about the 23-year-old solo mountain climber Marc-André Leclerc, whose amazing climbs were counterbalanced by his elusive behavior that kept him mostly under the radar for so many years.

This is a very different movie from Free Solo, though. That was about Alex Honnold's determination to make one singular climb, while Leclerc was already making just as many impressive climbs at a younger age. It's pretty obvious that Leclerc was destined to climb even bigger rock faces as Mortimer (whose previous film, The Dawn Wall, was sadly overlooked with all the push behind Free Solo) and Rosen finally catch up with him.

I don't really want to say too much more about the film or Leclerc, since it's best to learn about him through the movie and the amazing interviews compiled by the filmmaking duo. There's a good reason why mountain climbing continues to be of interest to the casual non-climbers like myself. Great films like The Alpinist find ways to glorify these amazing climbers without glossing over how dangerous mountain climbing can be as a sport or hobby.

The Alpinist had a Fathom Event on Tuesday night, but it will also be getting a moderately wide release in theaters through Roadside this Friday as well. You can read my interviews with the filmmakers over at Below the Line, too. Also, I mentioned another Universal doc, Under the Volcano, a few weeks back, and I have an interview with those filmmakers over at Below the Line, as well.

Another doc of note out this week is FAUCI (NatGeo Documentary/Magnolia) from directors John Hoffman and Janet Tobias, which looks at the life and career of NIH Director Dr. Anthony Fauci, but it doesn't deal with the last year and a half where Fauci's main focus was fighting COVID. No, this goes back to earlier in his career, to when he started at NIH, meeting, working with and eventually marrying his wife, Dr. Christine Grady. (Nope, I had no idea he was married either.)

More importantly, the movie follows Fauci's role in the discovery of HIV and AIDs and the conflicts between the government and protest groups like ACT UP who didn't think Fauci and the government did enough to help the gay community fight against AIDS and certainly not fast enough to make a difference.

Hoffman and Tobias’ doc has a fantastic interview with Fauci at its core that sometimes gets a little cutesy, but also allows him to talk candidly about his efforts in fighting disease, including the efforts to help fight Ebola in Africa where it was so debilitating for those who couldn't afford medicine that the USA had to step in.

But AIDS is really the crux of the film's exploration of Fauci's past achievements (and partial failures), and watching a younger Fauci talking to the AIDS activists in a rousing speech is one of the highlights, as is watching the present-day Fauci tearing up while talking about an AIDS patient who died.

I’ve always had a bit of a skewed perspective on epidemiologists and infectious disease doctors due to a few incidents when I was fighting cancer, and Fauci has annoyed me for the good part of the year by being so wishy-washy and negative towards movie theaters (which led to a full-year of closings in NYC with no major super-spreader cases since they reopened). But this documentary definitely helped change my mind about Fauci, maybe because the general public really never had a chance to meet or know him or his work before COVID hit.

Fauci is quite a fantastic doc in terms of shining the spotlight on a needlessly controversial figure who has been politicized despite having held his position through six administrations. I would definitely point someone to this doc if they still feel negatively towards the country’s top epidemiologist. It helps to humanize Fauci much like the RBG doc did for the late Supreme Court Justice.

Seriously, there are so many movies this week that there’s no way I’m gonna review everything, but you can read about a few of them below.

A music doc hitting New York on Friday and then opening in L.A. on Sept. 17 is Tom Surgals's FIRE MUSIC: The Story of Free Jazz (Submarine Deluxe), exec. produced by Nels Cline and Thurston Moore (who happens to be playing his first NYC show in a couple years this Sunday). It covers the free jazz movement of the '60s and '70s that produced the likes of Ornette Coleman, Cecil Taylor, Sun Ra, Albert Ayler, and John Coltrane. The movie features archival footage from the '60s jazz scene and interviews with key players, including critic Gary Giddins. I'm not going to review this, but it's pretty good, because I definitely had a phase when I was really into this type of jazz, basically all-improvisational with less structure than the jazz that uses charts and such. I know that a lot of people hate or misunderstand the musical style but it's quite stirring, as is Surgal's film. I do feel you'll already have to be a fan of the musical genre to enjoy the movie, though.

Hitting Apple TV+ on Friday is the filmed version of the Broadway musical, COME FROM AWAY (Apple TV+) -- similar to last year’s Hamilton and David Byrne’s American Utopia -- which is being released on the streamer to coincide with the 20th anniversary of 9/11, since the musical is loosely based on the events. It was filmed earlier this year, 14 months into the pandemic that shut down Broadway with a fully-masked audience watching Broadway’s first live performance since the shut-down. This is one of the MANY musicals on Broadway that I’ve never gotten around to seeing but it involves a town in Newfoundland, Canada where a plane lands on 9/11 as they’ve been diverted following the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center.

Claire Lewins’ doc THE WONDERFUL: STORIES FROM THE SPACE STATION (Dog Star Films/Universal Home Entertainment) features footage from the International Space Station and interviews with the astronauts who have been involved with the extraordinary space project. I hope to watch this over the weekend, but it sounds like my kind of movie.

Already on Apple TV+ (it debuted Tuesday!) is Bailie Walsh’s BEING JAMES BOND, a documentary about Daniel Craig’s run as 007 over the past decade plus, which you can rent for FREE on Apple, so go do that!

On Monday, FX and FX on Hulu will debut the first few episodes of Y THE LAST MAN, the new series based on the Vertigo comic series by Brian K. Vaughn and Pia Guerra that I absolutely loved. Set in a world where every single male human and animal has died, it stars Ben Schnetzer (Pride, Warcraft) as Yorick, who is -- you guessed it-- the last man on earth. He’s also an escape artist/magician, trying to survive with his pet capuchin monkey, Ampersand, as he goes across country trying to find his girlfriend Beth who left for Australia before the event. It also stars Diane Lane (as Yorick’s mother, who becomes the President), Olivia Thirlby (as his sister Hero), Ashley Romans (as Agent 355), Missi Pyle, and lots of other actresses (because all the men are dead). I’m slowly making my way through the series, and I like what I've seen so far, but the first three episodes will premiere on Monday.

A few other movies, a couple that I’ve seen, which I just don’t have time to review…

Nicholas Cage stars in Sion Sono's PRISONERS OF THE GHOSTLAND (RLJEfilms), which opens at the IFC Center this Friday. He plays a bank robber who is sprung from jail by Bill Moseley's "Governor" whose adopted granddaughter (Sofia Boutella) has gone missing. Cage's character is allowed to go free to find her, but he's put in a suit that will self-destruct in three days if he doesn't return. So it's kind of like The Suicide Squad, and though it has an interesting cast (including Nick Cassavetes, who also appears in Queenpins this week), I don't remember liking this much at Sundance earlier this year. (I actually don't thnk I got through the movie.)

John Pollono adapts his own stageplay SMALL ENGINE REPAIR (Vertical) to the screen with John Bernthal and Shea Whigham playing life-long friends Terrance and Packie with Pollono’s Frank, who are overly protective of Terrance’s teen daughter, Crystal (Ciaro Bravo). A chance encounter turns into a night that spins out of control as the friends have to make a tough decision about how to resolve the situation. I was pretty mixed on this movie even though Bernthal and Whigham continue to be great in everything they do. (I just think Whigham's recent movie, The Gateway, was better.)

Hitting the horror-streaming network Shudder (I have a subscription, because I’m a fan) on Thursday is Ruth Platt’s MARTYR’S LANE, a ghost story about a 10-year-old girl named Leah (Kiera Thompson) who lives in an old house with her family but whose mother has grown distant. At night, she’s visited by a guest who challenges Leah in exchange for more information about the house and her family.

Saul Williams stars and writes the score for Charles Officer’s AKILLA’S ESCAPE (Vertical), a crime noir about an urban child soldier set in Toronto and New York with Williams playing Akilla, a 40-year-old with a covert cannabis operation that goes legit. As he’s ready to cash out, he’s robbed by a group of masked youths. Akilla captures one of them, a mute 15-year-old named Sheppard that is associated with the Jamaican crime syndicate founded by his grandfather.

Jonah Feingold’s DATING & NEW YORK (IFC Films), which premiered at the Tribeca Festival a few months back, stars Francesca Reale (Stranger Things) and Jaboukie Young-White (The Daily Show) as Wendy and Milo, two Millennials who are thrown together at the worst time in their lives for romance, as they meet on an app called Meet Cute, have a first date, and then ghost each other before being thrown back together into an unconventional romance. I’m usually a fan of the rom-com genre, and I often can even withstand one that takes place in New York City and uses my town in a completely unrealistic way to show how romance can flourish here. (*koff*BULLSHIT*koff*) But then you throw in the M-word (Millennials), and this grouchy old man could barely get through this movie, though I’m not even remotely surprised it premiered at Tribeca. It seems very much like a Tribeca movie, and yes, that was meant in a pejorative way as the former “Film” festival has lost its way over the years. I’m half-kidding, the movie is entertaining enough, and I’m sure younger people will enjoy it more than I did.

A few other films I didn't get to this week…

DOGS (Dekanalog) AZOR (MUBI) BAD CANDY (Dread)

That’s it for this week. Do we have any new movies next week? I think Clint Eastwood has Cry Macho

[taibu]

Zenyatta-week 2018 Day 5. Travels

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I have no idea lel. Take this as one of those stories-with-very-non-linear-plots, mmkay? I honestly had no idea what to do to this one haha. Warnings: ANGST. Like holy fuck there is a lot of angst in this one. Mentions of Mondatta's death. Mentions of panic-attacks. Omnics cry coolant-tears. They can also dream because BUTTERFLY-VOICE-LINE BITCHES. Interactions can be taken as Genyatta but can also be seen as platonic if you like that better.

Travels Tekhartha Zenyatta had seen most of the world with his own optics. He had seen the mountains of Nepal, buzzing streets of India, industrial sheen of Korea, wonderful shrines of China, and the cherry trees of Japan. He had seen America, great and powerful. He had been in the calm forests of Canada. He had resisted the heat and moisture of the Amazon. He had seen the people of Africa, poor and hungry. He had admired the pyramids of Egypt. He had traveled trough Europe and felt like he had been in every nook and cranny there was. The old castles of German. Fields of Poland. Factories of Russia. He had seen the snowy mountains of Sweden, camped in the fresh forest air in Finland. And he loved them all. They all had their charm to themselves that made the place unique, and that fascinated Zenyatta. How people were so different, and yet so similar in each place. How they worked, how they lived, the social structures, nature and technology. The omnic found appreciation for each centimeter for the world. Expect for one place. One place he could not enjoy no matter how hard he tried. No matter how many times he went there, the pain was always the same. King's Row, England. He didn't have to explain himself to anyone when they found out he didn't fancy the place. Everyone knew why. And if they didn't, all they had to do was to look around a bit and they understood. Hate towards omnics was everywhere in the city. Writings on the walls, posters torn and painted on, omnics being told to go and stay underground. Zenyatta had seen many places where omnics were treated like enemies, but somehow King's Row seemed like a lost cause to him. That no matter where he turned, everyone wanted him crapped. Maybe it was the dim lighting of King's Row's streets, maybe it was the stares of the people, maybe it was the hateful shouts thrown his way... Or maybe it was that golden statue of Mondatta in the middle of it all. Zenyatta had officially visited the statue twice. Once with the Shambali, once with Genji. Both times it was clean and polished by the staff of the King's Row's City Hall, just for him and his fellow visitors. But when he would visit it without informing the City Hall, he would find the statue littered with graffiti. Hurtful things written all over it, covered by peace- and equality-posters only for them to be covered up too. Zenyatta would stand there, sometimes for hours if he could, just reading the texts and trying to understand the hate behind them. He never truly could. When some punks had then came with the intentions to destroy the serenity of the statue even more, who was Zenyatta to stop them? If he beat the young ones up, it would only create more discord between the omnics and human here. It was just hard sometimes, to watch the only thing you have left of your brother being destroyed over and over again... Mondatta was not here. He was buried in a morgue in the Monastery, under another huge statue of himself, this time made out of humble stone, not gold. His body rusted away in the stone-chamber, where the higher monks would visit once a year to bring incense and flowers. But Zenyatta would never be able to visit that place again. He had visited it once, on Mondatta's funeral. That was the last time he saw his brother's physical being, and it was inside that cold stone room... He could not even fathom the idea of seeing him now. Rusted and faded... Zenyatta wanted to remember Mondatta as a shining, tall and strong figure. He wanted to remember his voice, deep and booming, yet calming and serene. He wanted to remember his touch, strong yet gentle. He wanted to remember his embrace, his soothing words of comfort, his promise that everything was going to be okay, that they would be free one day, that they would forever be together- Zenyatta woke up with a jolt in his systems. He could hear the little mechanic voice in him repeat the same warning of overheating over and over again. Zenyatta sighed and turned the warning off. The cool air of the night would cool his systems up soon enough. It had been like this for a while now. Zenyatta would have dreams of his past travels, beautiful places, beautiful memories. Only to end up in King's Row, and eventually the damn omnioum he was created in and trained to do his job, beaten and spat on. It would not be so bad if it wasn't for him appearing in the dreams every time, as vibrant and feeling and sounding so damn real. Zenyatta could still feel the touch of his brother's hand on his shoulder. His sensors didn't notice his own hand trailing on that spot as if to reach for Mondatta until he indeed didn't feel anything on his fingers except for his own shoulder. Empty. Cold. Zenyatta's machinery hiccuped. He curled into a ball and let the coolant drip from his optics as the little voice in him started blaring the warning again.

"Master?" Zenyatta didn't remember falling back into rest-mode. Hearing Genji's voice woke him up from it as he slowly onlined his optics to find himself still laying, curled up into a ball, one hand resting on his empty shoulder. "Good morning, Genji." he mustered out of his voice-box. He was surprised it came out so calm and soft. So normal. "Master, is everything alright?" the cyborg asked, sitting next to Zenyatta in a lotus-position. The omnic held back a sigh. He had so hoped Genji would not notice his sorrow. Not anymore. He got up, slowly, to make sure he would not seem too eager to get out of the situation. "I'm quite fine, my student, thank you for asking." the omnic chimed, putting his legs into lotus-position as well and slowly floating up just few inches. He hated to lie to Genji, to anyone really, but he didn't want to bother his student with his own problems too much... He had already done enough. It had been six months already. Since they got the news from Mondatta's fate. They had been visiting a small village with only one working tv, situated in a local pub. The news were on when they sat there, Genji enjoying a stiff drink and Zenyatta drinking some oil. Zenyatta was just about to tell one of his favorite jokes when his audio-receptors caught the faint sound of the Tv saying "Earlier today, Shambali's leader Tekhartha Mondatta was assassinated on King's Row". Everything had been a blur since then. He could only remember few moments from here and there. Genji's voice calling his, either by "master" or the very rare case his actual name. Feeling of being carried and gently put down on something soft, most likely a bed in the local cheap motel. Waking up screaming and crying. Being held close and hearing soothing words, though Zenyatta could not remember what the words said exactly. He also remembered a song. Well, more of a rhythm of the song, since he could not remember the words. It had taken Zenyatta two whole weeks to start functioning properly again. And when he did, he begged Genji to tell him it had all been a bad dream. Genji didn't say anything. He simply sighed. Sad. Hollow. Mourning. They were in Nepal, and Zenyatta later found out that the Shambali had send a drop-ship to pick the two up after Genji had informed them of his situation. Zenyatta felt awful to have caused so much trouble, but Genji, and everyone else he had apologized for, told him that his reaction was completely justified. Mondatta was gone. He was never going to come back. He had died. Zenyatta repeated this to himself many times a day, trying to cope with the thought. His dear brother, first one who showed his love and affection, first one to call him family, first one to protect and care for him. His rock, his mountain. Was gone. Zenyatta often found himself overheating on the floor, sobbing and hiccuping as his processors were coping with his mental progressing. Each surfacing memory, each familiar scent, feel and even color could trigger what must have been the omnic-equivalent of a panic-attack. And each time Genji would find him, hold him, sooth him with words, and... hum. That same tune Zenyatta remembered from those two painful first weeks. The funeral was absolute pain. Not the fact that he would have to stare his offlined brother for what must have been the longest day of his life, listen to visitors giving their condolences, having to shoo off media and reporters trying to break their way to the private funeral. It was fighting back every processor inside him telling him to run to his brother, hold him, beg him to get up, get up and live, damn it! He could not die! Not like this! He was supposed to live long and happy! With his brother! With his family and friends!! Thank the Iris for Genji. Dear, strong and sweet Genji. He was always there, right besides Zenyatta. He would stand there, giving moral support. He would land his hand on his shoulder, like he had, or arm for reassurance. When a reporter would ask for an interview, Genji would take a freedom to ever so kindly kick their asses off the monastery. When there was a quiet moment, or when Zenyatta needed one, Genji would pull him behind the corner and embrace him. That gave Zenyatta enough mental energy to power trough the day. Zenyatta refused the leadership the first thing next morning. He didn't want to linger in the place any longer than he absolutely needed to. He gave hasty goodbyes to everyone and left to continue Genji's training. He need to. His soul begged him to MOVE. Months flew by and the panic-attacks stopped. Memories started to fade. Pain started to go numb. But the dreams. They stayed. And Genji knew they did. He must have seen it. Many times by now. It didn't help that they often shared a tent or a spot on the soft grass to rest in. Genji was indeed still part human and needed at least 8 hours of sleep. And Zenyatta needed to recharge his machinery. Genji refused to sleep far away from Zenyatta. He wanted to be close. And part of Zenyatta was glad. Feeling the cyborg's presence helped him power off for the night. But it didn't take away the nightmares. "Master." Genji said, with a serious tone. "Please tell me if something is bothering you." Zenyatta stayed quiet a second too long to seem truly innocent. "I do not quite understand what you me-" "Don't lie to me, Zenyatta." The serious tone and the usage of the real name made Zenyatta float down on the grass and sigh. He felt his walls come down again. "Master, I know you have nightmares every night. I know they are about Mondatta. And I know they bother you." Genji said. "It hurts me to watch you suffer, master." the cyborg then said, almost like a whisper. "And not being allowed to help..." Zenyatta didn't really realize what he was doing before his arms already were around Genji's neck and his faceplate resting against the cyborg's shoulder. But it felt right so he didn't abort the move. "I'm sorry Genji." the omnic stuttered. He was overheating again. "I just... don't want to cause you more trouble... You've done so much to me already, I can't possibly ask for more!" Genji didn't wrap his arms around the omnic which made Zenyatta panic for a second, had he stepped over his boundaries? Instead the cyborg held the monk's shoulders with his strong hands and gently pushed them apart only so he would face Zenyatta. "Master. You helped me find peace with myself and my new body. You helped me forgive my brother, the mad who I have hated more than ten years of my life! You showed me wonderful things on our travels! You made me whole, Zenyatta." A pause. "Helping you become whole again is the least I can do to pay back to you." Now Genji embraced the omnic, who found coolant falling from his optics again. This time due to a different emotion than sorrow.

"Genji?" "Yes Master?" "Can you... do something for me?" "Anything!" "Can you... sing that song? The same you did when..." Silence. A small laugh from Genji. "Of course..." Hearing the familiar tune soothes Zenyatta. He lays his head back in Genji's lap. It feels weird, having their roles switched like this. But it's nice so the omnic doesn't complain. This kinda reminds him of when he and Mond- His core freezes for a slit second. But Genji's voice brings him back. Zenyatta's fans kick in and start bringing in the cool air around him. Omnic's way of taking a deep breath, you could say. Zenyatta looks up to the cyborg. He feels safe. He feels happy. True, it will still hurt. For the rest of his life it will hurt. Each time he thinks of Mondatta. Each time he goes to King's Row. Each time he thinks of home. But now Zenyatta knows that he isn't travelling the path of life alone. Zenyatta let's his systems go offline while he listens to Genji's voice. And he dreams again. But this time it's different. Zenyatta is on one of the fields of Poland. Mondatta is there, sitting and gathering flowers for a flower-crown he is working on. Besides him Genji lays and looks at the clouds while chewing on a string of hay. Zenyatta feels the embrace of the Iris in him again. He feels happy. He sits between his brother and student and gently leans on Mondatta's shoulder. Mondatta simply puts his hand on his brother's shoulder. Zenyatta reaches to touch it. He wishes he could smile. It's there. He can feel it. END