#it's okay for me to be in limbo right now. it's okay for me to sleep 18 hours a day.

[kingsoowolves]

study break | lsh

pairing: high school best friend!Sohee x fem!reader

word count: 4.7k

a/n: I kept thinking about sohee's freckles and how best friend!Sohee would loooove to cuddle with you on study breaks and this came out. This work made me realize how much I like writing banter during smut. I'm a little crazy, me thinks.

contents: best friends to fwb to lovers. smutt and some fluff. Sohee is a teasing little shit. cheating, reader has a boyfriend, mentions of said boyfriend during sex (so trigger warning for all of that). switch!reader and switch!sohee. they are both on the last year of high school. fingering, sex without a condom, cumming inside.

for reference: I mention the Suneung in this, which is the korean exam for university entry, also known as the college scholastic ability test (CSAT).

you can also read this work on my ao3, if you'd like.

You’re in that limbo zone between light and heavy sleeping, the start of a dream forming in your mind when a firm arm encircling over your waist pulls you from it, waking you up. You sigh as you feel the stiff body press against your back next and then a face nestling in between your shoulder and neck and a nose breathing in the smell of your hair.

You pat the hand resting on your belly and ask, “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Lee Sohee’s gruff voice affirms from your neck. “Just wanna cuddle.”

You chuckle and let your body sink against his chest, your hand resting atop of his to intertwine your fingers between the space of his. “Okay, loser. Let’s cuddle.”

But despite Sohee’s statement of just wanting to cuddle, soon enough he crosses a leg over your body, glues his hips to yours and starts pressing short soft kisses on the back of your neck.

You open one of your eyes to stare at the clock on Sohee’s nightstand, the display showing it’s already near 06:30 p.m., which means it’s time to go. Then you untangle your hand from Sohee’s hand and press it against the mattress beside your pillow to move yourself up and out of it. “I should go home. My parents may be wondering where I am.”

“Wait,” Sohee whines, his arm tightening around you and keeping you on the bed with him, his sleepy face looking adorable and stuffy. “Can’t you stay for dinner? You can shoot them a text. They won’t mind.”

You crane your neck back to look into his eyes. “Sohee, I should go. We’re not going to study anymore. And you’re already–” you press your lips together and look down to where his pelvis is pressing on your ass, at the obvious bulge inside his pants. “You’re hard. And last time we said it was going to be the last time.”

Sohee smiles at you when your eyes focus back on his face and moves his hand to tuck in a strand of hair behind your ear. “We always say that. And it never is.”

He’s right. It never is. Though, the first time it happened it really was an honest mistake.

Since you’ve gotten to your last year of high school, you’ve been having study sessions with Sohee, your best friend since elementary school. Sometimes you go to the school library after your classes, but most times the study encounters happen in your home or his. A couple of months ago, when you guys were studying at his place and you were drowsy from pulling an all-nighter the day before because of the biology exam you had in that morning, Sohee suggested you take a study break to sleep it off. Just thirty minutes so you could get your brain working again.

Half an hour later, you were cuddled together on his bed with Sohee’s erection pressing up on you, much like you are right now. Back then, you made a snide remark about how he was a virgin who got hard from just being close to a girl and he counter attacked saying you were too much of a chicken to do something about it. You were never the one to back down from a challenge, so one thing led to another and… you did it.

It wasn’t planned. It was just a spur of the moment thing, a stupid mishap you could blame on your teen hormones and teen stress over your classes. After that, you both silently agreed on pretending it never happened and life went on like normal again, your friendship remaining intact. Except for the fact that when you laid on your bed late at night, you could see Sohee’s face contorting from pleasure behind your closed eyelids and hear his whiny moans of your name ringing inside your skull.

After the second incident, which happened only ten days later, you labeled it a mistake and promised each other it would never happen again. After the sixth time, you started to take the pill so you could do it raw. And on the eighth time, it didn’t happen during a study break, but when he dropped you off at your place after a day with your friends in a carnival. You still remember trying to muffle your moans to not disturb your parents upstairs while Sohee ate you out in the downstairs bathroom.

So, if your numbers are correct, right now is the fifteenth time. And Sohee is right. It never is the last one, not really.

“We can’t keep doing this, Sohee,” you state while he caresses your cheek. You try not to lean into his touch, but you fail miserably.

“Come on, baby,” he whispers, thumb rubbing under your bottom lip. “Aren’t you stressed from studying so much for the Suneung? I’m stressed, too. Let’s get rid of that stress together.”

Your eyes drop to his lips and the wistful words that are coming from them, his voice enticing you to do all the wrong things. “Sohee-ya–”

“I think you just need to be fucked nice and deep and then you’ll be all good again,” Sohee continues, descending his hand to your uniform shirt to unbutton it. “And Sion-hyung hasn’t been able to do that lately, right?”

Sion would be your boyfriend for two years now. The one who went to study computer science at Seoul National University. The one who you haven’t seen for over three months. The one who, despite meeting you for a few school breaks here and there, has been more and more distant each day, taking hours to reply to a simple text. The one who didn’t even care to fuck you the last time he saw you. That Sion. He’s just one more of the many reasons you shouldn’t be doing this.

“No,” you reply, licking your lips and gulping down your saliva as you watch Sohee’s hand wandering from your opened shirt to the bottom of your skirt. “He’s been b-b-busy.”

“I know. Poor guy, too busy to fuck his own girlfriend,” he says, the sarcasm dripping from each word. He flips your skirt up and grabs a handful of your now exposed ass, watching the way your flesh pours in between his fingers. “You must be feeling so needy, right, Y/N-ah? Because of his disregard towards you. You're lucky you got me.”

“Shit, Sohee,” you whine, moving an arm to rest on his shoulders. Your upper half is twisted up while your legs remain laid sideways, but you don’t care because Sohee starts grinding his clothed dick in between your butt cheeks and it feels amazing. “Keep doing that.”

At your request, Sohee presses himself more forcefully against you, his right hand beginning to toy with the waistband of your panties while his left one holds your face. “Yeah, Y/N-ah? You like it when I hump you like that?”

“I like it so much,” you whisper over his lips, staring into his eyes, the cute mole on his right waterline almost disappearing when he squeezes his eyes and huffs while he moves against you. “I like it better when you fuck me, though.”

Sohee’s gaze glints at your confession, at you giving up so quickly, offering yourself on a silver platter to him. That’s all he ever wanted.

“I can do that,” he says. He drops a light slap on your right butt cheek, making you jolt, more from the shock than from the force he applied, his fingers massaging over the spot right after. “You want me to fuck you, baby?”

You nod fervently, moaning when you feel Sohee’s hand finally pressing on the crotch of your underwear over your clothed cunt. “Yes, please. Please fuck me, Sohee.”

Sohee smiles at your desperate state, then leans in, muttering against your lips, “Anything for my best friend.”

You move your hand to the back of his head to crash his lips against yours. You’ve been addicted to the taste of Sohee’s mouth ever since the first kiss. You love the softness of his plump lips against yours and how his tongue is quick to invade your mouth and lick every crevice of it. You love the breathy moans he releases while kissing you and how his protruding canines dig on the flesh of your bottom lip. But you love it even more when he makes you stop the kiss with a moan because he stuck his hand inside your underwear.

“Fuck, Sohee,” you groan, hitting your head back on the pillows while he spreads your juices all over your cunt.

“Shit, you’re always so wet for me, baby,” he says while he watches his fingers playing with your pussy. “Do you also get this wet for your boyfriend?”

You bite on your lip while you tug on the hair on his nape and Sohee squeals. “Shut the fuck up.”

Sohee scoffs at you and moves his hand to the front to rub at your clit, making you support your hips in the air. “I’ll take that as a no, then.”

In spite, you move your hand down the front of his body to reach for the bulge in his pants, outlining it with your open palm. Sohee moans and the circles he’s drawing on your clit falter a little as he looks at your hand palming him. “Instead of trying to rile me up, you should be doing what I asked you,” you say, undoing the button on the top of his pants and opening his fly. When you reach inside to grab his cock, he moans again, resting his forehead on your clavicle while you pump him. “Fucking me.”

Sohee rasps his teeth on your skin and moves a hand up to nudge on your shoulder, moving you until your back is against his sheets and your legs are open with him kneeled in between them. Then he moves the same hand to shove his pants and boxers down, making his cock and your hand spring free from them. His dick stands red, angry and pretty under the warm light of his bedside lamp and you lick your lips while you watch the precum falling from its tip.

“Riling you up is part of fucking you, baby,” Sohee says while his other hand keeps working on your cunt, his fingers slipping down to prod at your hole. “Ever heard about foreplay? Or your boyfriend never cared to get you ready before putting it in?”

“Quite the opposite,” you counter, closing your fist tighter around his length and fastening your pace to see the way he closes his eyes and opens his mouth, trying so hard to contain his sounds. “He never needed this much time to get me there.”

Sohee puffs air from his lips and smiles smugly at you, bending down at the waist to press his chest against yours. “As if that fucker could ever get you this soaked in so little time,” he spits, serious eyes set deeply on yours and two of his fingers finally inserting inside you, coaxing a moan of his name from your lips. “Or have you moaning his name like that,” he continues, massaging your walls with hard and measured swipes of his fingers. “Or get you to plead–”

“Fuck me, Sohee, please,” you groan out, an unknown source forcing the words out of your mouth, probably propelled by Sohee’s digits inside of you.

Sohee’s wicked smile grows even more and he rests his forehead against yours. “Exactly, baby, exactly that.”

Once he’s satisfied that he made his point, Sohee tugs the waistband of your underwear down until it’s off your body, throwing it somewhere on his room floor. He gets back to you instantly and you spread your legs to give him space while he settles above you, your hands on your knees, waiting for his next move. He presses his forearms beside your head and brushes hair out of your face whilst his cock nudges the inside of your thigh and you move a hand down to grab it.

“Condom or no condom?” Sohee asks and you look at his eyes for a brief moment before moving your gaze back to the image of your hand moving up and down his length leisurely.

“I’m still on the pill,” you say, your peripheral vision catching how Sohee tries so hard to hide his smile on the curve of his elbow.

Then he’s also sliding a hand down to grip at the root of his dick and you let go of it just as he puts it over your pussy, his tip brushing against your slippery folds. “Fuck, you already feel so good like this,” he says, breath fanning your cheeks.

“You always feel good, Sohee-ya,” you admit back and Sohee gazes at your eyes when he finally slips inside of you.

You both moan in unison at the feeling and Sohee stills when he’s buried to the hilt, a hand gripping your hip while the other presses down on the mattress beside your head. He lets himself feel your drenched warm walls enveloping him for a moment. You scratch your nails at his lower back and clasp your free hand around his wrist, wrapping your legs around his waist to move him impossibly deeper inside of you and rutting your hips against his to feel pressure on your clit.

You still maintain eye contact through it all and once Sohee starts to move his hips backwards and forwards, he grabs your hand that’s around his wrist and pins it beside your head, interlacing his fingers with yours. You stretch your head upwards slightly and that’s enough to have him leaning down to kiss you. It’s a messy kiss full of spit, teeth and tongue, but with him thrusting deep and slow inside of you and his hand connected to yours, it means everything.

Then a particular hard thrust has you biting his lip and whining. And just like that the moment is gone and Sohee is back to teasing mode, his eyes glinting with mischief when he asks next, “Do you let him hit it raw, too?”

“God, you yap too much,” you exclaim, moving your hands to shove at his shoulders until he’s on his back, his cock slipping out of you. You climb on top of him and put it in again, then clasp your hands over his on both sides of his head, immobilizing him. “Stop ruining the mood.”

You watch Sohee visibly weakening from the change in position, his eyes droopy and his teeth sinking on his bottom lip. This way he hits a new angle inside of you that always makes your eyes roll to the back of your head, but you set a serious gaze down his face while rolling your hips into his and he stutters out a hoarse moan that inflates your ego.

“Fuck, I love it when you get on top,” he says, his eyes focusing on how the ends of your pleated skirt scrape his lower abdomen every time you move, covering the view of his cock inside you.

“Then shut the fuck up and take it,” you reply, snapping your hips harder over him and looking at how he scrunches up his eyes and opens his mouth in a groan.

Seeing Sohee like this, under you and completely at your mercy, with pink cheeks, heat blooming at his neck and his mouth closed – if not for the moans and whispers of your name he occasionally releases –, he’s never looked more beautiful. Not that you’d ever tell him that. So you concentrate on the moles that decorate his pretty face and start riding him quicker and sharper, applying more force into the palm of his hands and dropping moans of your own.

After a while, Sohee opens his eyes to look down at your skirt again and you feel him trying to loosen one of his hands from your hold. But he always gets so powerless when he’s under you that he doesn’t have the strength to do it and he ends up just pressing his blunt nails on the back of your hands. In turn, you press your knees tighter around his waist and drop some of your weight into the palm of your hands, keeping him still.

“Wanna see it,” he whines, his pleading eyes looking from the bottom of your skirt to your eyes and back again. “Please, baby–”

“No, you don’t deserve it,” you reply sternly and he whines again.

Sohee being sullen and subby is really a sight to see. There’s no resemblance of the man that teased you and made you mad a few minutes ago. Right now, there’s only a whiny pretty boy being confined below your body, his bottom lip jutted out as he tries to plant his feet to the mattress, trashing his legs when he isn’t able to do it.

He looks truly majestic.

“Quit moving around,” you command before bending down to kiss his puffy red lips.

You kiss him slowly, accommodating his lips between yours and then stroking them with your tongue until you lick your way inside his mouth. You take your time with it, savoring the taste of Sohee and swallowing all of his throaty sobs, releasing one of his hands so you can move your palm to his face, tipping his head back so you can kiss him better. Sohee whines one more time and you think you’ll never get tired of the sound of it whilst you feel his hand creeping down to your ass, his fingers pressing into your flesh when he starts to help your flow, moving you up and down his shaft.

Once you’re done tasting his mouth, you move your lips to his cheek, kissing every mole on his cheeks and the one on his waterline, your hand going down to unbutton his uniform shirt so you can press your mouth to the beauty spots on his clavicle and shoulders next. When you start adding your teeth into it, Sohee becomes restless, finally being able to get rid of your firm hold so he can press his fingers on both sides of your waist and buck his hips up to meet the roll of yours.

“Shit, shit, shit,” he says while you nip at his pulse point. “If you keep doing that, you’ll make me cum.”

You snicker at him and pull back to look at his face, one hand pressing on his cheek and another on the collar of his shirt. “You like it when I kiss you, pretty boy?”

“Yeah,” he breathes out, his gaze stuck to your lips. “I like it. I like– I like you.”

Sohee kisses you then and you push his confession to the back of your mind while you taste his desperation on your tongue and ride him faster. When he releases a groan that halts the kiss, you sit up and grab his hand on yours, moving them to the bottom of your skirt. He quickly takes the hint and bunches the fabric up, securing it around your hips so he can watch where you two are connected.

“That’s what you wanted to see, Sohee-ya?” You ask, making a show of decreasing your movements and rolling your hips slowly, the sound of your cunt squelching around his cock filing both of your ears.

“Yes, fuck,” he moans, griding up and into you to get you to speed up again. “You look amazing taking my cock like this, baby. You make me so crazy, fuck.”

“Your cock feels so good inside me, Sohee,” you say, leaning forward slightly to feel his pubic bone press on your clit. “God, I hate you so much.”

He smirks, bucking up with a sharp thrust that has you moaning and weakening in his hands. “No, you don’t.”

No, you don’t. You don’t hate him, not at all. And that’s the damn problem.

You’re already tired and slowing down, your back aching and your thighs burning. So when you suggest to change positions again, Sohee has you pressed under him a beat later, his body crowding yours to the mattress as he drops kisses on your face and chest, his dick sliding in and out of you in a quick rhythm. He tugs down the cups of your bra enough to attach his mouth to one of your nipples and your back arches off the bed as you feel him lavish your hot skin, his hand rubbing around your other nipple and then pinching it.

You feel you're almost there, the flames spreading from the tip of your toes and fingers to your wrists and ankles, your breathing coming ragged as your brain gets mushy, your cunt starting to convulse around Sohee’s dick. 

“Sohee-ya,” you whimper, locking your ankles over his ass and tugging at his hair.

Sohee sucks on your nipple one more time and gazes up at you. “You’re close, Y/N-ie?”

You nod, stretching your neck and squeezing your eyes, your hands becoming edgy on his shoulders, fingers trembling. “Gettin’ close.”

“Hmmm yeah,” he groans, rearing back slightly to once more gaze at the way his cock spreads your pussy open and how it gushes around him. “Feels so good, right? It’s like your cunt was made to take my cock, baby.”

You nod again and your pelvis starts to shoot up in time with his movements, your bottom lip trapped behind your front teeth. “Yes, made for you.”

Sohee glances up at your words and then bends down again to rest his forehead against yours, an elated look taking over his features whilst he cups your face with one hand and slides the other to rub at your clit. “Made for me, baby.”

You breathe deeply while he starts the little revolutions on your clit, and you try to contain the string of moans that threaten to get out of you. Sohee still has his stupid uniform shirt with his stupid nametag pinched to it and every time he moves, it comes to your line of vision, making you acknowledge over and over again who’s fucking you, the three syllables of his name taunting you.

One snap of his hips and the nametag is on your eyes. Lee Sohee.

Another snap. Lee Sohee.

A third snap. Lee Sohee.

A fourth one. Lee Sohee.

The fifth one. Lee Sohee.

You grit your teeth together and cover the thing with your hand, closing your eyes while you press it into Sohee’s chest, hoping the pin attached to the back of it digs on his skin. However, you begin to feel the letters of his nametag on your palm, branding your skin repeatedly, still in the same pattern of his cock sliding inside you and his hand drawing circles on your clit.

Lee Sohee.

Lee Sohee.

Lee Sohee.

Lee Sohee. Lee Sohee. Lee Sohee. Lee Sohee. Lee Sohee. Lee Soh–

“You should break up with him,” Sohee says suddenly, breaking you from your trance.

You snap your eyes open to see his irises close to yours, giving him a confused look with a scrunch of your eyebrows. “What?”

“Break up with him,” he repeats. “If you were mine, I’d fuck you like this every day. I’d never neglect you like he does.”

You shake your head slightly, your sanity starting to slip away from you because of his cock, his hand and his words. “Sohee–”

“I’m serious, Y/N,” he says, pressing harder into your nub and thrusting faster deep inside you, the sound of your skin continuously slapping together ringing on your ears, the walls of your cunt contracting. “Be mine. I want you to be my girl.”

You shake your head again whilst his words register inside your mind. “No, you’re just saying that because you’re about to c–”

“I’m saying it because I mean it,” he presses on. “I love you, Y/N. Please be my girlfriend.”

It’s hard to think clearly with Sohee’s cock hitting the spongy spot inside you and your impending orgasm licking at your sides, making you flex your thighs and your brain becoming foggy. But the earnestness dripping from Sohee’s eyes and the way your heart swells and constricts inside your chest with every word out of his mouth gives you the answer you’ve known for so long. You just chose to hide it from yourself and from him.

You love him just as much. Maybe even more.

“Yeah, okay,” you stutter out and Sohee smiles, his eyes turning into beautiful crescent moons you feel the need to kiss. “I’ll be your girlfriend, Sohee.”

He seals your promise with a kiss, then pulls back to whisper against your lips, “Then cum on my cock, my pretty girlfriend.”

You feel some sort of shame burning on the apple of your cheeks that his words are enough to make you snap. But it is soon washed over by the intensity of your orgasm, how it quickly trickles to all of your limbs and makes you grind up harder and faster into Sohee’s dick and hand, how it so powerfully cascades down on you until you’re nothing but a moaning mess getting railed by your new boyfriend.

When you come back from it, Sohee is kissing your face and his cock is twitching inside you and you know he’s getting there, too.

“You look so beautiful falling down for me, baby,” he mutters, thumbs skimming on your cheeks. “I’m gonna cum for you, too, okay? Where should I?”

“Inside,” you request, locking your arms around his neck to keep his face close to yours. “Mark me as yours, Sohee-ya.”

“Oh, fuck,” he exclaims, fucking you even faster, his hips stuttering with every hit of his tip on your g-spot, his face falling to your neck and his whines getting muffled by your skin. “You’re mine, baby.”

It doesn’t take long. Only a few more thrusts of his hips and he’s there, spilling hot cum inside of you that makes you moan with him. He keeps moving, though, getting you both overstimulated in the process, and only when you press a thumb hard on his clavicle, he whines in fake pain and stops, pulling out and letting his limp body fall beside you.

You look at the fan spinning in Sohee’s bedroom ceiling and wait for your breathing to slow down, thinking about what you just did. Then you start to feel your bra digging on your skin uncomfortably and you pull the cups back to their place again, adjusting it on your chest. When you look to the side, Sohee already has his dick inside his boxers and pants again, his fly still open, and he’s shifting closer to you to snuggle. He crosses an arm over your front, his hand closing around your upper arm on the other side and his lips dropping a kiss to your temple.

You sigh into his hold and move your head to look into his eyes. “Sohee-ya,” you whisper.

He looks tired in his post orgasm bliss, his eyes half-away closed already. “Yeah?”

You drop a kiss to his nose and say it. “I love you, too.”

Sohee smiles and pecks your lips languidly, his mouth not leaving yours for a few seconds. “I know,” he says when he pulls back.

His hand then slides down from your arm to in between your legs, his fingers finding the moistness of you and his cum there. You whine out at the feeling of him touching your abused cunt.

“Fuck, baby,” he says, sitting up to look at it. You sit up, too, and watch as his eyes become hazy because of the way your fluids are mixed together. “God, you look beautiful with my cum slipping out of you.”

You chuckle at him. “You’re such a pervert.”

Sohee looks at you with a glint in his eyes and a wicked smile on his lips, showing off his cute canines. “Should I take a picture of it and send it to Sion-hyung to make it easier for you?”

You slap his right shoulder with your full force and he cries pitifully. “Don’t be an ass. I already said I’ll break up with him.”

You get up, flicking your skirt down to cover the smudge of Sohee’s remnants on your thighs and catching your panties by the foot of his bed. You put them on and feel how the liquid soaks through them and stains them. Then you start to button your shirt back.

“Wait,” Sohee grumbles, moving down to sit at the bottom of his bed and pawing at your waist until you stand in between his legs. He hugs you and looks up, resting his chin on your stomach. “You’re already going home?”

“Yeah.” You slip the last button inside its case and straighten the collar of your shirt. “I told you, my parents are probably searching for me.” Then you hold Sohee’s face and kiss the four moles on his cheek before dropping your mouth to his for one last kiss. “Besides, our study break is over, loser.”

If you liked this work, please consider sharing your thoughts with me on the replies or on my ask box. thanks for reading! 🧡

[crimeronan]

now that the elation of being on-paper sick has worn off i'm back to getting my feelings hurt by innocent posts. anyway someday within the next few months i'm gonna be on a bunch of prednisone or other steroids and then i'm gonna do all my dishes and clean my whole house and go swimming and do my job and fix my life and it's okay that i fucking suck at doing any of those things now because i have a debilitating physical disability.

snide posts about how depressed people need to put on their big-boy pants and take care of themselves are not actually about me because what i am contending with is not depression. what i am contending with is a progressive disease that destroys my muscles, skin, joints, and potentially lungs kidneys and brain. that is not the same as being too sad to get up and wash a dish.

generalized spoonie advice and outlooks feel too optimistic or out-of-touch or non-applicable to me because they aren't applicable to me because what i am contending with is not an average spoonie experience. it is a specific progressive disease that destroys my muscles, skin, joints, and potentially lungs kidneys and brain.

if i feel bad and need to rest and don't pull my weight in my relationships it's because i need to wait to be treated with steroids and in the meantime i just need to hold on. i am not required to do anything else to take care of myself. my body is eating itself with a condition that has a high rate of fatal complications and literally my only job is not to die.

my only job is not to die. that is the only thing i need to do right now. any posts saying that people need to do anything else for self-care or for being a good person or for having healthy relationships are not applicable to me, because my circumstances are highly specific. healthy people need to take steps to better their lives. people like me need to rest until our doctors can help us because overtaxing ourselves might kill us.

a depressed person being too sad and hopeless and miserable to get up is being lied to by their brain. my brain is not lying to me when it tells me that i need to rest because my body is on fire.

my only job right now is not to die.

[sistertotheknowitall]

Some Guy on Fear Gas (can apparently turn invisible)

Masterpost

“Danny was supposed to be in class today.”

There was a round of sighs in the coms. See Danny didn’t react in the same manner as the rest of the population when exposed to fear toxin (or in general, but they were mostly used to that). See Danny didn’t scream, he didn’t cry, he didn’t get violent. He got unnervingly paranoid.

He got so unnervingly paranoid about being watched, specifically by the government if the muttered and whispered words were to be believed. His eyes tracked nothing while he slowly moved around invisible people. It wasn't like dealing with someone in an active hallucination experiencing a psychotic break. It was like dealing with someone in a paranoid delusion. He wouldn't let any of the bats near him and often took off, disappearing into the chaos.

Four months into seeing this kid everywhere and their suspicions were confirmed when he literally disappeared after the second time being poisoned.

Danny was a meta and he was afraid.

That’s not the reason for the exasperation felt by this family though. It was what always happened after. The first time he ignored every vigilantly when they tried to bring it up. After the second time he attempted to avoid everyone, extended family included.

(He had asked Kate if she was also Batman’s kid. “More like their aunt.” “Oh okay so it really is a family business. Like that show Unnatural. You don't happen to have also lost your parents at a relatively young age and now go on to fight a dark presence in their honor, do you?.” Kate had stared passively at him, the others had warned her. “….. okay… are you more of a Zuko honor type?”)

However, it was like the universe conspired against Danny. Even Bruce agreed that there had to be some god or being doing this (nothing is ever a coincidence). They kinda felt bad for him. He was very obviously trying to avoid them and he was either really bad at being evasive or a deity was laugh at him. Once he had thrown himself behind a lamp pole smaller than himself and closed his eyes to avoid Stephanie.

(It was very awkward. He could turn invisible and knew they knew so why…..? She had politely continued past so not to embarrass the poor guy further. Cause this was embarrassing and they both knew it.)

Finally it was Duke who pulled them all out of limbo. He had come across Danny on the roof of another bank. A lesser known capital union closer to crime ally this time.

Danny hadn’t been avoiding Duke in the same manner as everyone else. He still stopped to give Duke food but he never spoke and he ran after. Duke thought it would be weird to chase him but it was also weird to turn around, have an orange shoved into his hands then watch his friend run away.

However, this time Danny didn’t run as Duke approached so Duke sat next to him. Pulling out a granola bar, he handed it to Danny, “that’s why you feed me all the time right? Cause you know how many calories we need as metas.”

Danny had laughed, “no actually, that was a bit that morphed into a habit. I just thought it was funny.”

“….what.”

“Don’t get me wrong, now that we’re friends I am more than happy to feed you but yeah. The first candy bar was a thank you and then the second time I thought ‘I have fruit.’”

“….. wow… okay.” There went his plan of empathizing. They sat in silence as Duke tried to reorganize his thoughts.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you all.” Duke turned his head to face Danny, who kept his eyes forward, “you know no one cares that you’re a meta.” “Obviously. It wasn’t the invisibility that I was upset about," Danny said.

“The muttering. The paranoia.” Danny grimaced and didn’t say anything.

“You don’t have to tell us till you’re ready, man. Just let us know if you need help. Please, are you safe?”

Danny nodded and Duke nodded back and they had both continued to sit. When they parted ways Danny handed Duke a small bag of chips.

Danny had apologized everyone one at a time even though they had heard it from Duke. Danny never explained nor did he want to talk about his it. His power of invisibility was also a subject off limits. All of them were worried but they didn’t want to force him to talk about it. They had to trust that he would one day feel comfortable doing so with any or all of them. (Still, it was hard seeing their friend so paranoid that he flinched back from them. )

Post Six

[fangswbenefits]

Confession

Summary: You come to Miguel when he least expects, and now there is no turning back.

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x spider-woman!reader

Word count: 3.9k

18+. Miguel POV. Obsessive Miguel. Inexperienced/V*rgin reader. Oral s*x. Body worship. Dry h*mping. Br*eding k*nk.

Part 1 - Previous part

Miguel chose to give you space and time.

For two whole days, he had kept all interactions with you at a minimum. 

Not because he wanted to, but because he had to.

It pained him that things between you two were now in this limbo. You were still your sweet self as expected, but Miguel had soured. Anyone within a three meter radius could spot it.

So when he walked into HQ with blood dripping from his face, no one dared approach him besides the occasional spider asking if he needed anything.

He dismissed all of them and headed to Lab 2 in search of a first-aid kit to deal with the bleeding bruises. 

"Need help, boss?" a fellow spider offered.

Miguel shook his head, and kept going through the countless shelves until you came into his field of vision right in the corner of his eye.

His heart immediately skipped a beat as usual.

Holding a small bag in your hand, you rummaged through it and handed him two pieces of gauze.

"Thanks," he grumbled under his breath, as he pressed the soft fabric to his face.

"What happened?"

Miguel scoffed and turned his head away from you, not wanting to extend the conversation.

He heard you heave a sigh. "Okay, Mr. Grumpy. Can you please move away, then?"

This time, he shifted to glare at you in confusion.

You smiled warmly and pointed at the lab counter that was covered in drops of blood.

Oh.

He grabbed the bag from your hands and began pacing towards his station, but it seemed that you had no intention of parting ways with him just yet.

And that hurt more than any of his wounds.

Having you around was intoxicating enough, but having to go days without barely seeing or interacting with you, had taken a toll on him.

And the result had been sloppiness and being caught off guard by an anomaly.

Very amateur of him.

Very unlike him.

And all because he had filled his mind with you, since he couldn't physically have you.

But you insisted on being present in his life even when you didn't have to.

Miguel walked through the door and let it slide shut, knowing fully well that wouldn't deter you from stepping inside as well. 

"Let me take a look. Please."

He threw you a side-glance, and stopped to glare at his own reflection on the nearby glass wall instead, and determined that the damage could have been much worse. 

"Miguel O'Hara, stop being stubborn and let me take a look."

Your kind voice was chewing at his nerves, and he had to take a deep breath to stop himself from snapping.

He'd rather not have you at all than having your pity.

But then again, there was still that part of him that craved your attention.

And he gave in, like the fool he was. 

"Fine."

You were standing by his desk, and he saw the triumph glimmer in your face. "Take a seat."

He swallowed and did what you asked, allowing your hands to cup his face. Your touch had his stomach flip, and he couldn't bring himself from breaking eye contact with you, even when you moved your finger under his chin, tilting his head back slightly.

"Right," you said in a low voice, before removing the bloodied gauze. "It's very superficial. I think I can just use liquid stitches."

He figured as much, but his focus wasn't on his bodily bruises anymore, but on the delicate touch of your hands, the intensity of your roaming eyes, and, above all else, your warmth.

"Hold the bag a bit higher."

Miguel offered it to you, and you smiled in return.

That sweet smile of yours that had him tightly wrapped around your finger for so long.

His sweet girl…

Your touch left his skin briefly as you gathered the needed material to fix him. Miguel allowed his eyes to flutter shut, occasionally hissing from the sting of the antiseptic as you cleaned his wounds. His mind went blank for a few seconds, and he only focused on enjoying how you took care of him.

Miguel had forgotten what it felt like to be taken care of. He had spent so much time looking after others, that having the roles switched felt so foreign, yet so welcome.

"I didn't think you could ever get injured," you said with a faint chuckle, breaking the comfortable silence.

Miguel knew you were trying to lighten the mood, but he remained silent.

You worked on him with impressive expertise, patching him up.

Once you were done, you lightly patted the edges of the adhesive that covered his wounds and stepped away.

Pride settled on your face, and you moved to sit on the chair across his. "Looking good as new."

"Thank you."

He wished he was strong enough to ask you to leave, but he had missed these little moments. He had accepted you needed time and space, but it still hurt to think that he could have been there for you, and that you had pushed him away instead.

You drummed your fingers on the table for a while before taking a deep breath. "Miguel… we should talk."

"What about?"

"Us."

Miguel slowly straightened in his seat. 

You had his full attention now.

"I don't want things between us to feel awkward," you began, eyes fixed on his. "I don't want us to grow apart…"

He hadn't seen this coming. He assumed it would take longer than this for you to come to him again.

He wasn't often wrong about many things, but he had been wrong about this.

Cocking an eyebrow at you, he leaned back. "Then what do you want?"

Your gaze faltered briefly. "I thought it'd be easier being with you intimately. It felt less… suffocating. It made it easier for me to bury my feelings." You paused and swallowed. "I know people do this casually, and I assumed you felt that way, too…"

He remained silent for a while, slowly digesting the information you had just dropped on him. 

It felt like a confession of sorts, but that last part left a sour taste in his mouth.

"You assumed wrongly," he finally spoke, face twisting into a light scowl. "Is this why you pushed me away the other day? Because you think I only look at you that way?"

Your eyes shot up and you shook your head. "I didn't push you away… I… never meant for that, anyway. I just needed time to think," you said in a whisper. "Like I said, I know some people do this casually… and I would be fine with you just wanting that. I still am," you corrected yourself.

A part of Miguel felt incredulous at this turn of events. Were you confessing you had deeper feelings for him? Or was it all surface-level? 

But another part of him wasn't allowing him to fully savour the first possibility. He wanted you. He needed you. But the conclusion you had drawn of him stirred annoyance inside him.

"What do you want from me?" He snapped a bit too harshly.

Your mouth parted, but no sound came out.

"Sex? I can give you that," he said dryly. "But that is not all I want. Is that all you want?"

You looked restless. "I… I think I want more."

"You think? I don't want anything from you that you won't give willingly," he said in a softer tone this time. "This doesn't have to be more than it is. If all you want is intimacy, I can help you out. But I wish for more, and I want you aware of that."

You remained still for a while as if weighing your options.

Not long after, you nodded.

There was absolutely no doubt inside him. He was sure of how he felt about you, and he was too desperate to have anything he could take. Even casual sexual intimacy if that was what it took to soothe his frustration.

But he couldn't hide his true intentions any longer, and had to make things crystal clear for you.

"What about Tom?"

Your eyes widened. "Tom?"

"Yes. How do you feel about him?"

He needed reassurance.

"We'll work on rebuilding our friendship… but that's it."

That was good enough. Realistically, Miguel didn't expect you to sever your bond to your childhood friend. He didn't even want you to, so long as you weren't getting your feelings hurt.

You then rose to your feet and walked to him with unsure steps. Once you were in front of him, Miguel instinctively parted his legs, allowing your to close the distance between you two.

You glanced around you, and Miguel knew what you were silently assessing.

With a quick tap of a finger on his watch, rendering the glass windows opaque.

The newfound privacy made you visibly relax, and you brought your hands to either side of his head, before raking gentle fingers through his hair.

Miguel had to bite back a moan, and tilted his head back, angling it perfectly with yours.

His heart drummed rapidly inside him as you lowered your face to press the softest kiss to his forehead, and he brought his arms to envelop you into a tight embrace, his chin resting in between your breasts.

There was comfort in this type of silence.

Actions did speak louder than words, after all.

The way you began trailing kisses down his face, carefully avoiding his wounds, had him melting into your touch.

You hesitated upon reaching his lips, hovering over them with your own.

He could feel your breath fanning them rhythmically, and he felt the impending erection stirring down below.

And then you kissed him.

It was shy and controlled at first, but he quickly parted his lips, deepening the kiss. You moaned into him first, gently tugging at strands of his hair. Miguel's groan tore through his throat and he dropped his hands to your waist, gripping them tightly and bringing you closer to his strained erection.

You jolted once you felt it nudging your legs, breaking the kiss momentarily.

"Hard already?" 

The genuine tease in your voice awoke in him the urge to breed you. It was primal and intense, and he knew he should keep that to himself for now. However, he would need to know if you were on birth control eventually. 

"You make it easy," he chose to say, placing one hand to the back of your neck, pulling you into yet another kiss.

He would devour you if you allowed him to.

His tongue slipped past his lips and met yours halfway. You tugged at his hair again and he bucked his hips against you.

He was so painfully hard and already dripping precum.

Just for you.

His sweet girl.

You let him take control and only parted from him once his other hand began to move to your front, fingers dipping between your legs.

Your body language told him to immediately stop, and he did.

"I'm sorry."

You shook your head. "I'm… still getting used to this…" your voice was but a whisper. "Can I… come over to your place later today?"

His cock was throbbing impatiently, craving release from his tight digital suit, but he nodded.

He wanted you to feel comfortable and safe around him, so he placed your needs above his.

He silently vowed to always do this.

You brought your lips to his unarmed cheek and pressed a fleeting peck to it.

"See you later, Mr. Grumpy," you said with a smile before exiting through the sliding door.

Miguel looked down at the visible outline of his cock and contemplated easing some of the tension, but he decided against it.

He would gladly build up all the frustration within him and only you would be able to relieve him from it.

You came to him late at night, before the clock struck midnight.

For the second time that day, you had come to him.

Your steps echoed through the hall and you came into sight, immediately earning his undivided attention. 

"Hey, you."

Miguel's lips twitched into a faint smile. "Hey."

You were wearing a flowery dress that trapped his gaze. It fit you perfectly, but he couldn't wait to get it off you.

Laughing nervously, you took determined steps to where he sat on his couch until you were close enough. 

Miguel met your eyes and watched carefully as you lowered yourself to straddle his waist. Instinctively, his hands slipped under your dress to grip your hips into him.

Then he noticed you weren't wearing anything underneath.

You giggled, biting your lip teasingly. "Is this too much?"

"It's not even enough."

He caressed your skin with his thumbs, as he positioned you right on top of his hardening cock, that was now stirring slowly inside his sweatpants.

You gasped softly as your folds parted to accommodate the underside of his cock, increasing the pressure on your clit.

Miguel considered immediately removed the only layer of clothing that was in the way, but he wanted to feel you soak the fabric.

"I really, really like you," you said through half-hooded eyes, caressing the edges of the bandage covering the wound on his cheek.

Then, you took his lips in yours.

This time, you were the one taking the lead and he let you set the pace. He tasted the impatience and hunger in you, and helped you grind against him. You were a fast learner. You already knew how to sway your hips sensually against his cock, drawing a low groan from him.

Miguel felt his cock fully harden just from feeling your body undulating under the palms of his hands. 

You were going to kill him one day. He was sure of this.

Your hands moved from his shoulder to your chest, undoing the cute buttons that held the dress together.

He broke the kiss so he could marvel at your breasts coming into view, as you allowed the fabric to slide down your shoulders and arms.

The nipple piercings glistened, and he felt his cock twitch from the sight of the spider pendant dangling from each of them.

He wanted to make you custom ones. Maybe with his own symbol. Or his initials. He wanted to mark you as his, and what better way than this?

"Please touch me," you begged, arching your back lightly.

Sweet.

Hungry.

His.

He brought both hands to your chest and grazed your nipples with the pads of both thumbs, hardening them.

You moaned softly, and kept riding his clothed cock.

"Can I tug gently?"

"Please…"

Miguel's hips jerked to meet yours, and he felt your wetness finally seeping through his pants.

He twirled your nipples at first in between his fingers, before gripping the metal piercing, tugging ever so slightly in awe.

You gasped loudly this time, stilling yourself as he admired the jewelry.

"I'll make you custom ones," he promised, as he positioned himself to press a kiss to one nipple. "With my symbol."

You whimpered with a nod. "Yes…"

You'd look so pretty being marked by him.

He wrapped his lips around the nipple, capturing and twirling the pendant with his tongue.

Too bad you hadn't been bred yet. He would have loved to taste your milk as you carried his child. 

You pressed down on him, and the motion of your pussy dragging along his cock was enough to draw the first beads of precum.

He couldn't care less that he was about to get soaked in it, as he knew his body was only trying to prepare itself to be inside yours.

"Slowly… Miguel…" you pleaded in between moans, burying your hands in his hair. "Miguel…"

He could easily get addicted to you mumbling his name like that, but he did release the nipple, admiring how perky it looked.

Before he could have it in his mouth for a second round, you slipped off of him, settling on the floor and in between his legs.

He quickly spotted the damp spot along the outline of his cock from you grinding viciously on him.

"What is it?" he asked, unsure of what to do next.

A faint pout settled on your lips. "Can I… can you show me how to… do it?"

His eyes widened at the realisation of what you meant when your gaze landed on his crotch.

"Are you sure?"

You merely nodded, hands grasping at his waistband, gently pulling it down until his cock sprang free.

Immediately, you straightened yourself and shifted closer. He could feel your curious gaze on him, as strings of precum dripped from the tip.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, wondering how long it would take for him to cum from this.

"Open your mouth," he breathed, and you immediately complied. "Just give it a few licks first."

You nodded and darted out your tongue to press it flat along the underside of his cock.

He immediately flinched, but still gripping it at the base to to push it towards you.

You pulled back with a pout. "What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing. It feels really good…"

A sweet smile tugged at your lips. "What now?"

He inhaled sharply, trying to keep himself from going over the edge too soon.

"Lick the tip…" 

This time, you wrapped your fingers around him, and positioned yourself until your tongue grazed along the tip, collecting the thick droplets of precum.

He had to grip the cushions on his couch to steady himself, not wanting to accidentally shove his cock into your mouth.

You kept your eyes on him, working your tongue around the sensitive tip until he saw the strings of precum mixed with your saliva begin to dribble from the corners of your mouth.

He immediately pressed his eyes shut.

The visual stimulation would only make him reach his peak faster, and he wanted you to be able to take his cock in your mouth before he exploded.

You kept giving him quick licks, further edging him.

"You need to stop…" he groaned, his hips lifting from the couch. "Please…"

Once you did, he opened his eyes again only to be met by the thick and long strings of precum of either side of your chin to drip down to your breasts.

"Too much?" you asked shyly, swiping your tongue along your bottom lip.

Fuck.

You looked so fucking delicious.

But he needed more.

"Do you think you can fit it in your mouth now?"

You quickly nodded. "I think so."

Miguel knew he was not going to last long. "Go slowly…"

You didn't need to be told twice, and craned your neck before lowering yourself and sliding the tip past your lips.

His hips instantly bucked, further sliding in and nearly gagging you.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out, lovingly caressing your cheek.

You tried to give him a reassuring smile, but it was hard to do with his thick cock stuffing your mouth.

"Suck gently…" he said with a groan that quickly turned into a hiss once you began to suckle softly. "Just like that…"

You were so good for him…

He saw your eyes watering slightly as you took him even deeper. "Don't be greedy… you're doing just fine, sweet girl."

By this point, more beads of precum and saliva began to spill from the corners of your mouth, streaming down your face until they connected under your chin into a single strand that dangled further and further down.

Miguel felt his balls tighten lightly as a warning sign.

He was actually impressed with how long it was taking for him to reach an orgasm.

And that was when he decided he didn't want to cum just yet.

Slowly, he gripped your chin and slid off your mouth, earning a muffled protest from you until he was fully out, a string of precum bridging your lower lip to his tip.

"Miguel… why?"

You were pouting again and he nearly lost it. 

"Come here," he asked, trying not to focus too much on how his body was throbbing for release.

You wiped the wetness from your face with the back of your hand, but did as you were told, standing up.

"Do you trust me?"

You nodded right away. 

"I want you to lay on your back," he instructed with a sultry voice. "Then I want your legs over my shoulders."

You seemed to hesitate at first, but moved to sit on his thighs, as Miguel grabbed your hips to help you slide into his desired position. Your legs parted to rest on his shoulders and he effortless lifted your hips.

"Oh…" you drawled out as your dress slid up your thighs, until you were fully exposed to him.

Miguel almost groaned at the sight of your swollen clit peeking through your soaked folds.

"Tell me if it gets too much."

"Why would I-" your words did in your mouth the moment he dragged his tongue across your folds, tasting you for the first time.

He felt your hips jerk lightly under his touch, but he had decided to bring you over the edge with just his mouth.

So, naturally, Miguel began to eat you out.

His thirst for you was satiated with each flick of his tongue across your throbbing clit, yanking the most delicious gasps and whimpers from you.

He first let his tongue slide past your opening, as his nose pressed against your clit.

You choked on a sob as he went deeper. "Oh…oh my…"

Your wetness quickly began to coat his his lips and chin, as he continued to feast on your tast.

"Miguel… I… please…"

His cock twitched at the sound of your voice, and he slipped out of you only to wrap his lips around your clit.

Your hips bucked violently into him, and he had to still you with both hands, so he could properly suckle on it.

More wetness spilled from you, fueling Miguel's ego, as it was the best indicator that your body was yearning for him to breed you. He felt it pool in his tongue and eagerly swallowed as much as he could, feeling intoxicated with your taste.

He sucked a bit more fiercely and could tell you were close. So, so close.

Come for me, cariño…

You were mumbling his name with other incoherent words as you reached your peak.

As soon as he felt you tip over the edge, he let go of your clit and plunged his tongue inside, so he could feel your contracting rhythmically around him.

Your whimpers turned into loud grunts as your orgasm spread throughout your body like wildfire. Your legs began to shake and he wrapped his fingers around his own cock, pumping it in unison with each contraction.

His senses were completely flooded and it didn't take long for his balls to tighten and the first spurts of cum to gush from the tip.

As you descended from your bliss, Miguel entered his, leaning back against the backrest and groaning loudly as he rolled his own hips, desperately fucking his hand.

His fangs were fully on display as your wetness dripped from them while also running down his chin and neck.

By the time he was able to come to his senses again, you had slipped from his grasp, kneeling on the floor with your head pressed to his thigh, breathing erratically.

The two of you remained silent, as both struggled to even out your breaths.

His cum had landed on his shirt, seeping through the fabric and dribbling down his toned abdomen.

"Do you want to spend the night…" Miguel finally managed to find his words again, caressing your cheek approvingly.

You were panting heavily and could only nod.

Part 8

Masterlist

[canisalbus]

Okay don't mind me, I'm going to yell into ether for a moment. It's four in the morning and I can't sleep and the slow-burn anxiety attack that has been building up all day seems to be finally coming to a head, and I feel like I'm about to crawl out of my skin.

This past month has been challenging. I knew stuff was about to get stressful way ahead of time and tried to mentally prepare for it, but life still managed to kick me in the liver and now that july is over, I'm left absolutely exhausted and frazzled and physically sick. And so goshdarn overwhelmed. Feels like my brain reached it's maximum capacity weeks ago and can't absorb anything new anymore, I'm just trying to get through each day without actively making things worse and all new tasks and information are just sliding off and pooling at my feet.

Acutely speaking, I'm also having a tiny little crisis here in my hands right now. It's silly but I've somehow managed to misplace my antidepressants somewhere and I haven't seen them since Thursday last week. Perhaps at this point I should just go and get them refilled early like a sensible person but some dumb mental roadblock is holding me back, so I'm just sort of stuck in this no-meds limbo. I'm normally seeing two separate therapists on irregular basis and both of them are currently unavailable until further notice and my sentiments about that aren't too gleeful.

I miss drawing, it's such an important part of my life and identity, but I haven't been able to do any of it lately and I feel like I'm strugging to get back in the right headspace for it. Every time I try to set aside a little bit of time to doodle something, my anxiety spikes massively and I have to try to do something else to calm down and it kills me.

I'm already dreading the upcoming winter. Every year my mood worsens with seasonal depression and I know I only have a limited number of months before life switches to survival mode again, and I have no choice but to try to live with that looming in the horizon.

[samthestrangerthingsfan]

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: friends-to-lovers, mutual pining, lots of parallels, reader is a lil down on herself but don't worry, eddie is down bad for her.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of weed and smoking, smut!! 18+, minors DNI.

AN: do i write 90% of my fics based on what pops into my head when i hear a certain song? yeah. also this is only half edited bc life. enjoy bbs <3

“Okay, okay,” You laughed. “One more hit then I’m tapped out, Eds.”

Eddie grinned, speaking through a half-held breath. “Oh no, Sweetheart. New stuff hittin’ a little too hard?”

You inhaled deeply, passing back to him what was left of the joint. It went straight to your head, and you flopped back, laying comfortably on Eddie’s bed.

Eddie inhaled, following suit, making your body bounce as he hit the mattress.

“Shit,” he mumbled. “Feel like I’m fuckin’ flying.” He grips your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. “Don’t let me float away, okay?”

You smile at him, taking in how fucking beautiful he looks under the dim lights in his bedroom.

“Never. You’re stuck with me, Eds.”

He looks down at you, a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. He took you in like he'd done 100 times before. Eyes trailing from your nose, to your eyes, landing at your mouth.

So fucking beautiful.

“Good," he breathes, pulling you in closer. "Just the way I like it.”

Eddie let go of you hand, only to wrap his arm around you and pull you into his chest. He placed a kiss to the crown of your head, "This okay?"

It's all I want. You think.

"Or do we have to get up and go watch that cheesy chick-flick I promised we'd watch.

You sighed, fiddling with the hem of your denim skirt. "I'd stay here all night if you let me."

That's all I want. He thinks.

Eddie leans back a bit, looking down at you. He's not sure if it's the weed making his so emotional, but he swears he could cry just looking into your eyes. "What am I gonna do if one of these dates you keep going on works out? What if someone takes you from me?"

He tries to sound relaxed, but the truth is, the thought keeps him up at night. There’s gonna be a guy that steals you away from him one of these days. Someone who can give you everything he can’t, someone brave enough to open their mouth and tell you just how much they love you.

and it'll crush him.

The laugh that escapes you is a cynical one, "Eddie, I've been on three dates with three different men, and I've gone home alone each time."

"So?" He asks.

"So," You scoff. "It means no one is interested in doing anything with me."

It’s true—to you at least. The guys you’d gone out with were either not looking to be tied down, or ran once they met you. The last guy thought you’d be easy because ‘the freak’s best friend has to be a freak herself right?’

The dates were a distraction for you. As your heart pined over the one guy you could have it all with, it was breaking too. Eddie hadn’t made a move on you—ever, and you weren’t brave enough too.

So the two of you sat in limbo, completely unaware that the other person was right there with you.

Eddie sits back, releasing you from his arms. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" You ask, sitting back as well.

"That. Act like you're the problem, and not these shitty fucking dudes you keep going out with.” Eddie tried to control his tone, but his temper got the better of him. He cursed at himself for it.

Jesus H. Christ, Munson, get it together.

You push back from him fully now, "Eddie, the common denominator is me. I-I'm fucking broken or something."

“Stop that.” He seethed.

It’s a command—a tone you've heard him use with Steve, or Dustin, but not you.

Never with you.

Eddie stood as you sat up, hanging your legs off the edge of the bed.

"What--"

He turned back and got to his knees right in front of you.

“Stop talking about yourself like that. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

He was close to you, and with him on his knees, his gaze was just at your eye level. “You’re not broken. There's nothing wrong with you, you’re—you’re fucking perfect.”

“Eddie…”

“No, no, just…just shush for a second.” Eddie moved his hand to your cheek, his thumb sweeping across it gently. “You think all this shit about yourself and it’s just not fucking true. I wish, for a second, you could see yourself how I see you. I fucking adore you.”

You feel the warmth of his breath on your nose. His large hand on your cheek warms you, and you lean into the touch, closing your eyes.

Everything is Eddie in this moment. He’s invading every sense you had.

It’s overwhelming.

You can feel your eyes brim with tears. “You don’t have to say that, Eds. I’m okay. I’m just…I’m lonely, that’s all.”

Eddie’s breath caught in his throat. He watched you, he saw the tears hidden beneath your lashes. How could you not see it? See how you were…everything to him?

His mind stopped for a moment, deciding whether or not to take the leap, to risk it all and not run for once.

Fuck it.

“I’m right here, Princess. I’ve been right here.” He leans his forehead on yours.

You exhale his name, “Eddie,”

“What,” he’s quick to ask. “What is it, Sweetheart?”

Your on fire with how close he is to you. But he doesn’t mean it, not in the way you hoped he would…does he?

Your eyes open, seeing his beautiful brown ones searching your face for some kind of clue as to what you’re feeling. You clasp your hand on top of his. “Please,” you beg. “Please don’t say things you don’t mean just to make me feel better. My heart can’t take it.”

He laughs softly, bringing his other hand up. He’s cradling your face gently, “Oh, Honey. You have no idea just how much I mean it.”

Eddie is overwhelmed with you. You’re everywhere, and he can’t fucking think straight. Probably a good thing right about now, because he’s about to do something he never thought he’d be lucky enough to do.

“Can,” he clears his throat. “Can I kiss you, Baby?”

With zero hesitation, you nod, earning a chuckle from Eddie.

“Gotta use your words, sweet thing.”

“Yes,” it comes out as a plea. “Kiss me...please.”

Warm warm warm.

It’s all you feel when he leans in. Then his soft lips are on yours, all the while he’s holding you as if you’d be the one to float away.

Eddie kisses you like he’s done it a thousand times. Like he knows your lips and the pattern that drives them crazy. He’s trying to tell you everything he’s been too afraid to say since the moment he met you.

There’s no one but you.

You’re everything.

I love you, please, let me love you.

Regrettably, you pull away. Breathless from the kiss, but also how surreal this moment is.

“I-I,” you sigh, touching your forehead to his. “I’ve wanted to do that for forever.” It comes out as whisper. As if you’d scare him away if you said it too loud.

Eddie smiles, a relieved laugh passing his lips. “Yeah?”

You nod, “Yeah.”

It’s quiet for a beat, Eddie is looking at you so softly and with such care.

“You’re so beautiful.” He says with all of the conviction in the world. “My pretty girl.”

“Am I?” You ask. “Am I yours?”

He nods, "If you want to be." He moves his hands, resting one on each thigh. He rubs them absentmindedly, likes he's trying to flatten the goosebumps that had prickled across your skin. “...and I’m yours. You've got me, Honey.”

Eddie's grin was still a shy one. You brush your hand across his face, pushing back any stray hairs. "Eds?"

He grips your wrist gently, placing small, tender kisses along the inside of it. The gesture is so simple, but it sends a heat through you like you've never experienced before.

"What is it, pretty girl? Whatever you want, whatever you need...it's yours."

You intertwine your fingers with his smoothly, "You, Eddie. Need you. Wanna make you feel good, Eds."

Now it was his turn to get goosebumps.

"Fuck, Angel. You can't just say that to me." He breathes.

Your bedroom eyes blink twice, "Please?"

A strangled moan vibrates from his chest, "Who am I to deny the fair maiden what she asks for?" Eddie stands, holding out a hand for you.

You're pulled to your feet by him, and he's looking at you through a brand new set of eyes. "One problem with that though, Princess. You come first."

You gasp as his hands take purchase of your ass, pulling you into him. "If anything, and I mean anything is too much, or too weird, you tell me, okay?"

You're nodding again, and he tuts at you. "Uh-uh. Words, baby."

Your arms fall around his neck and you press your body against his. "Yes, sir."

"Ho-ly-shit." He moans. "Yeah, I'm gonna kiss you now. Cool? Cool."

He's hungrier this time, kissing with teeth and tongue as his roaming hands explore your body.

"Eddie, Eddie..." You breath through swollen lips. "Too many clothes."

"You a mind reader or something?" He jokes, ripping the t-shirt from his body. His body was a work of art in more ways than one, and seeing it now, like this, made you crave it all the more.

You watch as Eddie falls to his knees, "Can I?" He asks, pulling at your skirt.

"God, yes."

He unbuttons the fastener, pulling the distressed denim down until it's pooling at your ankles. Eddie then came face to face with your black-lace covered heat.

"I-I'm dead right? I've died and now I'm at the pearly gates."

Your hands cover your face, "Eddie! Stop!"

He stands quickly, "No, baby, no. God, please don't hide from me." He pulls your hands away gently.

Your shirt is next to go, and so is the matching bra. Eddie pulls his pants down, leaving his boxers on.

"Lay down for me, Princess. Wanna take care of you.”

The timber of his voice makes you tremble. Once your comfortable on the bed, Eddie climbs on too.

“Now, I know this is all new, and we’re figuring things out as we go, but…” Eddie pauses, laying on his stomach between your legs.

He starts kissing his way up your legs. “I’ve been dreaming of eating this pussy for a long, kiss, long, kiss, long time.”

You’re so turned on you can barely speak, but you manage to get out a quiet. “Well what are you waiting for?”

Your thong is thrown into parts unknown, and Eddie starts to feast like a man starved.

“Eddie, fuck—“ his tongue explores your heat. His hands hold onto your hips as you grind down onto his mouth.

“Uh-uh, don’t hold back. Wanna hear you, Princess.” He dives back in, lips sucking on your clit, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. He slips in one, the two fingers. Pumping and curling them slowly until he finds the spot that makes you see stars.

The fire in your belly is growing and you feel your legs start to shake. “Holy fuck, Eds—Eds I’m gonna cum!” Your hands take purchase in his hair, giving it a sharp tug as you feel the heat engulf you.

Eddie eats your pussy, drinking you in as you cum.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” You release your grip on his hair as you come down from your high.

Eddie crawls up your body, kissing you. You taste yourself all over his tongue. “Don’t be sorry, Baby. Let’s me know you’re enjoying yourself,” he kisses you once more. “Plus, I kinda like it.”

You’re both breathing heavy.

Now it’s his turn.

Your hands touch his shoulder, pushing him gently. “What’re you doing, pretty girl?” He asks softly.

When Eddie’s leaned back against the headboard, you pull his boxers off. Pink, uncut cock springing from it's confines.

God damn...he's fucking huge.

"Gonna ride you, Eds. Let you feel what you did to me." You climbed on top of him, "Can I do that? Can I make you feel good?"

Eddie's nodding, not sure what part of you he wants to look at more.

"Uh-uh," you tease. "Use your words, Handsome."

"Fuck," He breathes. He palms your bare chest, moving the pads of his thumbs over your nipples. "Do whatever you want to me, use me, I'm yours." He leans forward, hot mouth latching to your other breast.

You sit up, allowing Eddie's hard length to slip inside your aching cunt. The sheer stretch and size is enough to snatch the breath from your lungs.

"Eds...Eds, shit. S'big." You moan.

His eyes close as he bottoms out inside of you, "So tight. Fuckin' pussy was made for me, she wants my cock. Won't let it go. She greedy, baby?"

You adjust to his size filling the void inside you. Eddie hold your hips as you begin to ride him, helping you to keep a steady rhythm.

"Look at you, Princess. Cock-drunk already, hm?" He teases.

Eddie is whispering praises as he fucks up into you.

Such a good girl.

Taking me so well.

My pretty girl.

Mine.

Eddie's pace quickens, and you feel the tremble return to your legs.

"Eddie, fuck, I--"

"I know, Honey. I can feel it, feel you squeezin' me. Let go, Angel. Go on, cum for me."

His words are like a spell.

You cum harder than you did on his mouth, and this time, it's his cock that's drenched in your essence.

"Gonna cum, Sweetheart. Where--"

You're entirely lost in everything Eddie. "Inside me, Eds. Fuck, please cum inside me."

"Shit, shit, shit." Eddie's moves become erratic. Sloppy thrusts chasing his release, and when he does, he all but growls in your ear.

He's breathless and spent, but his arms wrap around you. Eddie holds you, softening inside you. He kisses the center of your chest, the trail making its way across your shoulder, up your jaw, and to your lips.

"Hi." He says quietly.

You giggle softly, "Hi."

"So uh, not sure if this is a good time or not..."

You kiss his nose, "Hmm?"

"I-I...I love you. I don't know, just felt like someone should tell you, might as well be me." Eddie's big brown eyes search your face for any sign of regret or discomfort.

Nothing.

You kiss him deeply, "I'm glad you told me, otherwise I'd be sitting over here, in love with you, looking all silly by myself."

Eddie holds you tighter. "You, you love me?"

You giggle, "Edward Munson. I love you."

He pulls you closer, "You love me." It's a statement now.

Eddie lays his head against your bare chest. "I'm gonna get you cleaned up in a second, Sweetheart. Just wanna hold you for a little."

Rubbing small circles on his back, you kissed the top of his head. "I'm not going anywhere, Handsome."

[anni-writes]

intimacy limbo

Miya Atsumu x MSBY PR manager! reader

Warnings: nsfw, suggestive convo, dirty talk, drunk atsumu, drunk call, nothing very explicit though

word count: 1106

@ anni says: I'm a sucker for this dynamic, probably will write more, let me know if y'all liked 🤲

“hello?”

you pick up the annoying phone buzzing under your pillow without sparing much time to check the name on the screen, assuming it's an emergency, since nobody would sanely call another person in the middle of the night if it wasn't important, right?

… wrong

“did I wake you up?“ — the voice on the other side said and you wondered if he was joking

you sat on the bed, looking to the clock on the bedstand

“it's 2am, Atsumu. Why are you calling?”

you asked in a deep hoarse sleepy voice, your forehead frowning while your brain tried to make the sinapses of why Atsumu Miya would call his PR Manager at such hour.

all the answers sounded terrible

“fuck, don't tell me you're screwing a married actress again? or you fought someone at a party? it's fucking friday Atsumu you're gonna make me work on the weekend again—”

“God, your voice is so hot when you wake up…”

he interrupted my rambling with his own and immediately I realize he might be drunk.

“where are you?” — I asked, a little more soothing now

“uhhh… home?”

“since when?”

“since… ten minutes ago”

“where were you?”

“i— at a pub? with Bokkun and some others”

“why are you calling?”

the line went quiet, I can feel the hesitation lingering, but I don't push it, just hearing his deep breathing for some long seconds

“i— wanted to hear your voice… you…”

he stops suddenly, and I let him be, laying back down on my bed, keeping the phone on my ear, looking at the ceiling

“are you drunk?”

“no. maybe? a little. but not much” — enough to call me in the middle of the night, I think to myself. but also don't comment on it

I stay quiet on the line for a few seconds, enough for him to protest.

“hey”

“hm?”

“talk to me”

he say, a demanding tone, and I can't help but snort.

“what do you want to talk about, Miya?”

“when was the last time you fucked somebody”

my breath hitched in a silent surprise, not expecting this question

“what the fuck, Atsumu—”

“answer me”

I stop on my track, narrowing my eyes and shaking my head, trying to remember when was the last time I—

“that'd be… three months ago? on a blind date”

“did you cum?”

my eyebrow raise on an impossible force, but I can't bring myself to be uncomfortable with his questions. a sick dynamic that blossomed after the Olympic games, when I cleaned up all of his messes

“I didn't”

“And when was the last time?”

I narrow my eyes, not quite catching

“Last time…?”

“That you came?”

“uhm… Last night? I mean, I don't need a man to cum, do I…?”

He hissed on the phone, that was the only answer I didn't antecipated.

“Atsumu, are you getting off from my voice?”

I ask bluntly, expecting an equal blunt answer. And how was my surprise when I didn't get one

“I— no, I don't… I just… that's not…”

“You're such a slut"

this time he graced me with a whimper from the back of his throat,

and somehow, in a sick way, I was starting to like

“… you drive me crazy, you know that?”

he said, his voice clearly deeper, darker

“how do I drive you crazy, Miya?”

“don't… dont call me that... not now”

“i’ll call you whatever I want, Miya”

he hiss again, and I almost chuckle. but I hold back, just asking

“what was that?”

silence on the other way, I hear him sighing, and I mend, testing the waters

“Atsumu?”

“Yes!”

he say immediately and exhasperated, and I smile

“you like how I say your name?”

“I… very much”

“what if I moaned your name?”

“… ah… fuck… don't say shit like that…”

“Okay, I won't…”

“But please do”

this time I can't hold back, I crack a laugh on the phone

“Miya, there's only so much mixed signals someone can handle”

“You speak like you'd let me fuck you even if I beg”

“We can't, Miya”

he sigh deep on the other side, I can hear the frustration in his voice

“I'll send my nudes to a sports journalist and create the biggest PR scandal MSBY has ever seen”

he say in a petty act and I crack another laugh, knowing he doesn't actually would do something of such magnitude. not purposefully, at least.

“You know that would only obligate us to stay in the same meeting room for long hours until I fix it, don't you?”

he sigh, frustrated again, on the other side of the line, and I hear muffled sounds of something soft, probably him shifting on his bed

but the silence linger again, and before he can protest, I break it

“You should go to sleep, you have practice tomorrow”

“… can't. ‘m hard.” — he say and I snort, biting my tongue to not ask for proof

“take a cold shower, masturbate, dunno. go to sleep, Miya”

I hear him sighigh frustrated again, another set of shuffling noises

“okay, I'll go”

he say and part of me feel bad, not wanting to end the call, used to this sick twisted intimacy that I cultivated myself

“You go, and don't get late for practice tomorrow. G’night”

“night”

his answer is dry, and before he (or I) can hesitate or say anything else, I press the red button, putting my phone down on the bed.

I sigh, throwing my arms on my face, knowing I'm in the wrong for indulging Atsumu antics,

but this dynamic, once settled, it's impossible to go back. The rush of dopamine is too delicious, making both of us stuck in a middle term limbo of attraction and curiosity, leading to a twisted intimacy.

after tossing and turning on the bed for a while, in a failed attempt to go back to sleep, I decide to take back my phone, seeking some brain distraction

and I see a lost text from Atsumu

i knew opening his message would only make things worse for me. But I do it either way. And the sight makes my mouth water.

“fucking hell” I think to myself, grumbling while opening the bedstand drawer where my toys are, preparing for a couple more hours of perturbation

[steveseddie]

my heart burns there too

steddie | rating: t | wc: 4,7k | cw: none | tags: misunderstandings, light angst, pining, eddie jumps into some crazy ass conclusions, but it’s all good in the end

for @steddie-spooktober day eight, prompt “bonfire”

read on ao3 here

The bonfire is Robin’s idea, but Steve is who extends the invitation to Eddie when he stops by Family Video one day.

“A bonfire? Won’t that get us arrested?” He asks, leaning on the counter and watching Steve operate the tape rewinder with a bored expression.

“Nah, man,” Steve says with a shrug. “Hopper is Chief again and you’d be surprised by how easy it is to get him off your back if you play the ‘I fought monsters with your kid’ card.”

Eddie lets out a snort. “Wish I had that all those times that he picked me up for dealing.”

Steve sniggers. The tape rewinder makes a loud clicking sound, signaling that it’s finished, and Steve removes the tape, putting it back in its case before rewinding a new one. “So are you in?”

“Sure,” Eddie says, never one to turn down the opportunity to spend time with Steve— and Robin, of course. “But I’m not holding hands with you and Buckley and singing Kumbaya.”

For some reason, that makes Steve blush. He ducks his head, fiddling with another tape. “Um, well, it’s not just us, Nance is coming too.”

Ah, Eddie thinks, now the blush makes more sense.

He tries not to let his disappointment show. He doesn’t want Steve to think he has anything against Nancy because the truth is that he doesn’t. Nancy is great— she’s nice, she’s smart and she’s fucking badass. He wasn’t lying during that Spring Break from Hell when he told Steve that he should win her back, Wheeler is a fucking catch. Even Eddie, gay as fuck as he is, can see it.

Only now things are different. Not the fact that Nancy is a catch, she still is. But now she’s single, and she and Steve have been inseparable since she ended things with Jonathan.

Oh, and now Eddie is stupidly and hopelessly in love with Steve so he’s just waiting for the day when they finally announce that they’re back together and break Eddie’s heart.

He doesn’t know what they’re waiting for and he kinda wishes they would just get the fuck on with it. At least then, Eddie could stomp down any hope of anything ever happening between him and Steve. Right now they’re in a weird limbo where some days Eddie will catch Steve’s gaze flickering down to his lips or he’ll feel his touches linger a little too long and he’ll think maybe, but then he’ll walk into Steve’s kitchen to find Nancy and Steve whispering with their heads pushed together only for them to break apart and go quiet the moment they see him or he’ll try to make plans with Steve only to watch him fumble for an excuse before admitting he’s hanging out with Nancy. And every time his heart shatters a little, so better to just rip the bandage off once and for all.

“Eds?”

Steve’s voice snaps Eddie out of his thoughts and he realizes that he fell uncharacteristically quiet at the mention of Nancy. So much for acting like he doesn’t have a problem with her. Goddammit.

He plasters a smile on his face. “Wheeler is coming, you say? Great! The more the merrier!” He says, hoping it sounds convincing enough. “Should I bring something? Lighter fluid? Marshmallows? Child sacrifices?”

A woman standing to the side of the counter, letting the kid in her arms pick something from the candy display gasps audibly, scowling at Eddie and switching the toddler from one arm to the other, further away from him.

Whoops.

Steve gives him a look— why are you like this? it says. Eddie shrugs.

“Just bring drinks, okay?” Steve whispers to him after giving the woman a placating smile.

“Sure thing, big boy,” he says, delighting in the baffled little pout Steve makes every time Eddie calls him that. “Anything else?”

“Well,” Steve purses his lips, thinking. “I’ve got everything we need for the bonfire, Rob is bringing the music and Nance is in charge of the snacks.”

“Tell her I want s’mores.”

“She’s way ahead of you, man,” Steve says with a chuckle. Eddie’s eye twitches— of course perfect Nancy already picked the perfect snacks.

Nancy isn’t your problem, Eddie reminds himself, the problem is that Steve’s straight and still hung up on his ex-girlfriend, and frankly, out of your league.

He sighs. “Sweet, I’ll see you and the ladies on Friday then.”

“Oh, you’re leaving already?” Steve asks, sounding almost disappointed. Other than the woman and her child, the store is empty and has been for the entire time Eddie has been here. He’s probably dreading being alone for the rest of a slow shift.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Eddie says, “I promised Red I’d drive her to the skatepark and if I’m late to pick her up, she’ll beat me to death with her skateboard and I’m too pretty to die.”

Steve smiles at him, that little lopsided smile that Eddie likes to believe is reserved just for him. He’s never seen him smile like that at anyone else— fond, amused, endeared. “Yeah, you are,” he says and winks.

Eddie’s breath hitches, his traitorous heart thinks maybe but his brain stomps down that hope real quick.

“Careful, Stevie, or Wheeler might get jealous,” he jokes but it doesn’t come out as lighthearted as he wishes.

Steve’s eyebrows furrow but before he can say anything else, a group of kids comes barrelling through the door followed by an exhausted parent and they all walk up to the counter to ask Steve for recommendations for their movie night.

Eddie quietly slips away from the counter, giving Steve a lazy salute and getting a finger wiggle in return before the kids loudly demand his attention.

Six little nuggets, Eddie thinks, recalling a conversation between Steve and Nancy that he wasn’t supposed to hear.

His heart breaks a little more. He wonders how long it’ll take before it shatters completely.

***

To no one’s surprise, Eddie is the last one to arrive at the bonfire.

He parks his van between Steve’s car and Nancy’s station wagon at the spot Steve circled on a map when he gave Eddie directions. After swinging his guitar over his shoulder and grabbing the cooler filled with sodas and beer, he follows the smell of smoke and the sound of Buckley’s boombox through the woods.

He spots Robin first— feeding dry leaves and twigs into the fire and singing along to some pop song Eddie doesn’t recognize.

Eddie whistles appreciatively. “That’s one impressive fire, Birdie!”

Robin jumps, dropping the leaves and the twigs to the ground with a startled yelp. When she spots Eddie, her face breaks into a big grin and she clumsily steps over the logs arranged around the bonfire to hug him as best as she can with the cooler between them and Eddie’s guitar on his back.

“You made it! And you brought your guitar!” She says, bouncing on her feet with excitement.

“Yup, there’s no way I’m letting you make my ears bleed by listening to pop tunes all night,” he teases and gets a light punch on his arm for it.

“I didn’t know you could play metal with just an acoustic.”

“Metal isn’t all I know, Birdie, I have hidden depths,” he says, thinking about all the country and folk songs he knows thanks to Wayne.

Robin cackles. “Sure you do, Munson.”

He sticks his tongue out at her and then glances around, looking for Steve and Nancy but they’re nowhere to be seen.

“They’re picking up more wood,” Robin says when she notices him looking. “They should be back soon.”

Unless they got distracted making out, Eddie thinks, biting down on his tongue to not let the bitter comment slip past his lips.

As if on cue, they hear leaves rustling and then Nancy and Steve step out from the treeline. Steve is carrying the wood and Eddie gets to enjoy the way his biceps bulge from the weight before his eyes zero in on Nancy’s tiny hand wrapped around Steve’s arm. They’re in deep conversation, Steve listening intently and nodding as Nancy speaks to him with a soft voice, her hand never leaving his arm. They don’t even notice he’s there until Robin points it out.

“Hey! Look who’s here!” She says, oblivious to the downward turn of Eddie’s mouth.

Both Nancy and Steve’s heads snap in their direction and Eddie tries really hard to school his features into something casual and less green-eyed monster.

Nancy’s hand falls from Steve’s arm and the pile of wood he’s carrying falters a little before Steve hoists it up again, biceps flexing. Eddie tears his eyes from his arms to look at his face, expecting him to look like he just spent the last ten minutes making out with Nancy or like he just got caught red-handed but instead, he’s grinning widely at Eddie, eyes twinkling under the moonlight.

“Hey, Eds!” He says, attempting to wave with his elbow but giving up when a piece of wood falls to the ground, his cheeks pinking up in embarrassment. “Shit, Nance, can you—” he starts but Nancy is already picking it up and placing it back on the top of the pile. “Thanks.”

Eddie carelessly drops the cooler in front of him. “Hey, Stevie. Hey, Wheeler,” he says, sweeping down in an over dramatic bow. “I come bearing drinks.”

Robin whoops, throwing the lid open and grabbing a wine cooler while Nancy picks up a beer.

Steve forgoes the cooler, dropping the wood on the ground next to it and walking around it to pull Eddie into a hug.

It takes him a little by surprise but he recovers quickly, wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist. “Hey, sweetheart,” he whispers against Steve's neck, feeling him shudder, probably from the cold. He's only wearing a polo shirt, and despite the fire burning next to them, Eddie feels a slight chill in the air even though his jacket. “You smell like smoke.”

Steve snorts. “Oh, so I smell like you?”

It’s Eddie’s turn to shudder as his brain provides a handful of other reasons why Steve would smell like him. He tells his lizard brain to cool it and pulls back. “Yup, exactly! And you should know the smell is a bitch to get rid of.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind,” Steve says, shrugging. With a wink, he adds, “I like it.”

Which to Eddie sounds flirty and a lot like ‘I like the way you smell’ and it takes his brain a moment to recover from that, but he does it just in time to catch the beer Steve tosses at him, even if he fumbles with it at first.

“You did a good job with the fire, Stevie,” he says, expertly popping the bottle open and gulping half of it down.

He catches Steve watching his throat as he drinks and the way he gives a little shake of his head before glancing at the bonfire. “You only say that because you didn’t see my first two failed attempts,” he chuckles. “It was actually Nancy who got it going.”

Eddie’s grip on the bottle tightens. “What would we do without her?” He says, voice a little clipped.

Steve’s smile falters but luckily doesn’t ask what Eddie’s problem is. “So are you gonna play for us?” He asks instead, gesturing at the guitar still hanging from his shoulder.

“Not just yet, Stevie. I was promised snacks, I’m hungry.”

“Me too!” Robin jumps in.

“Oh, the snacks are in the car,” Nancy says, digging through her bag for the keys. “I’ll go get them!”

“It’s okay, Nance. Eddie and I can go,” Steve volunteers, and with a secretive smile, Nancy tosses him the keys.

“Don’t forget you gotta—”

“Jiggle the key to open the trunk, I know,” Steve finishes with a smirk.

Eddie doesn’t realize he’s pouting until Steve points it out. Luckily he thinks it’s because he volunteered Eddie to get the snack too, and not because Steve is finishing Nancy’s sentences. “Stop pouting, Eds, it’s not that far.”

“You only say that because you didn’t have to carry a cooler and a guitar all the way here,” Eddie responds snarkily before setting his beer down on the ground and falling into step next to Steve.

“I’ll do the heavy lifting this time,” Steve smirks.

Eddie squeezes Steve’s arm, feeling the taut muscle underneath. “Seems like you already have, big boy,” he says, his voice coming out lower and flirty now that they left Nancy at the bonfire.

With an undignified yelp, Steve trips over something and Eddie, who hadn’t let go of his arm yet, tightens his grip to keep him on his feet.

“Careful, sweetheart,” Eddie says and Steve curses under his breath. Maybe his foot got caught on a root and he hurt himself— it’s hard to see the ground when all they have is the moonlight filtering through the trees. “You okay?”

“Yup, yeah, thanks, man,” Steve stammers out, giving Eddie a tight smile. “Come on, we don’t want to keep Robin waiting, you know how she gets when she’s hungry.”

Eddie snorts. “Oh yeah, I know. I still have her bite mark on my fucking arm,” he says, rolling up the sleeve of his jacket to point out the fading bruise from their last movie night when the pizza was taking too long to get there and Buckley decided to chump on his arm. “As if getting chumped on by demobats wasn’t enough!”

Steve sniggers. His eyes sparkle with something when he says, “Don’t think I can blame her for wanting a piece of you, though,” matching Eddie’s tone from before— low and flirty.

Eddie’s eyes widen, he stops looking at where he’s going to gawk at Steve and trips on a rock. With no one grabbing his arm, he goes down, landing on his hands and knees.

“Motherfucker,” he curses, his face burning with embarrassment.

“Christ, Eddie,” Steve mutters, hurrying to help him up.

“Well, that was embarrassing,” he laments with a chuckle, brushing off dirt from his pants and his hands.

“You okay?” Steve asks softly and then Eddie feels hands cupping his cheeks and tilting his head up until he meets Steve’s eyes. “You didn’t hit your head?”

Eddie shakes his head no, but the truth is he isn’t exactly sure— maybe he hit his head and now he’s hallucinating how close their faces are or how Steve’s eyes linger a little too long on his lips as they dart over his face, looking for any sign that Eddie hurt himself.

“Um,” Eddie clears his throat which feels a little dry. “We should get those snacks before the girls send a search party after us.”

Steve nods, and after letting his right thumb brush over Eddie’s cheekbone once, he drops his hands from his face.

Heat builds up on Eddie’s face, making his cheeks burn hotter than the bonfire.

They stay like that all the way to Nancy’s car.

***

Back at the bonfire, Robin snatches the marshmallows from Eddie’s arms. “What took you guys so long?” She asks, ripping the bag open and unceremoniously shoving one into her mouth.

“Gee, and they call me feral!” Eddie says and is rewarded by Robin hitting him with the bag of giant marshmallows. It doesn’t hurt, they’re marshmallows, but Eddie is nothing if not dramatic.

He grabs his arm where she hit him and falls to his knees, as if wounded. “This is what I get for braving the woods at night for your snacks, Lady Buckley? The nerve, the ungratefulness! I shall never recover!”

Robin lets out a giggly snort. She offers him a marshmallow on a stick for him to roast as an apology which he graciously accepts.

When he looks up, he finds Steve looking down at him with an amused expression. “Why do you insist on dropping to your knees in the middle of the woods? Your jeans are ripped enough as it is!”

Eddie’s mouth acts faster than his brain, leering at Steve as he says, “You don't like how I look on my knees, sweetheart?”

Steve’s eyes widen almost comically, his cheeks flaring an alarming shade of red. Eddie doesn’t get to enjoy the sight of a flustered Steve for long, his head snapping to his right when there’s a loud gasp that doesn’t come from either of them.

His eyes meet Nancy’s wide ones as they dart from Steve to Eddie to Eddie’s knees and back at Steve, her lips mouthing a silent, “Oh.”

Oh? Eddie thinks, ‘Oh’ what?

She can’t possibly mean— even if Steve said this isn’t the first time Eddie drops to his knees tonight, she can’t possibly think— oh Christ, does she?

Eddie is about to blurt out something along the lines of, ‘I didn’t blow your secret boyfriend in the woods, I just wish I did’ when Nancy’s eyes meet Steve’s and out of the corner of his eye, Eddie sees Steve firmly shake his head. That seems to be enough for Nancy, whose shocked expression melts away as she stands up and joins Robin where she’s roasting her marshmallow.

Eddie sits back on his heels with a sigh.

“You okay?” Steve asks, knocking his Nike against Eddie’s leg.

No, your girlfriend just thought you cheated on her with me! Eddie wants to say. “Yup, come on, let’s make some s’mores,” he says instead, pushing himself off the ground to go sit on one of the logs arranged around the bonfire.

He expects Steve to sit with Nancy, to appease her further but he sits next to Eddie, leaving no space between them despite there being plenty of room.

Eddie doesn’t mind, he loves having Steve close. Still, he can’t help but send surreptitious glances at Nancy every once in a while, averting his eyes when he finds her staring right back a few times.

He stops glancing at her when he gets distracted by Steve eating his s’mores— more specifically by him messily licking his lips and fingers clean. Not even his own marshmallow catching on fire can make Eddie tear his gaze away from Steve’s tongue lapping at the melted chocolate on his fingers, not until Robin screeches and points at the blackened little thing at the end of Eddie’s stick.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Eddie curses as he pulls it out of the fire to blow on it, extinguishing the flames. Next to him, Steve laughs, lips stretched in a smug smile that it’s a little too knowing.

Holding the stick between his legs, Eddie squeezes the marshmallow between the crackers and the chocolate before taking a bite. There’s a slight burnt taste to it but it’s still good, so Eddie eats it enthusiastically.

He can feel Steve’s eyes on him as he does and he considers putting on a show like he did— licking and sucking on his fingers in an obscene way. But before he can, Steve is reaching out and wiping chocolate from Eddie’s bottom lip with his thumb.

Eddie’s breath hitches, his eyes widening.

Red blooms on Steve’s cheeks and he drops his hand to his lap. “Uh, you had chocolate on your lip.”

“Thanks, Stevie,” Eddie mumbles. He jerks his thumb over his shoulder, “I’m gonna— I need a beer.”

He scrambles to his feet, stepping over Steve to get to the cooler. He nearly drops the beer when he looks up and finds Nancy staring at him, lips pursed and a tiny frown between her eyebrows.

Did she see Steve do that? Is she mad? Eddie wonders, averting his eyes and staring at the flames instead.

And more importantly— what the fuck is Steve playing at?

***

Eddie finally gets his answer about an hour later.

The four of them are sitting around the bonfire, drinking beer and talking about everything and nothing. Robin and Nancy are sharing a blanket they grabbed from Steve’s trunk because, despite the fire that’s still burning, the air has only turned colder as the night goes on. Eddie is sharing a log with Steve— or he was until Steve stood up to put on his Members Only jacket and sat down on the ground instead, leaning against Eddie’s leg.

Eddie didn’t question it at first, assuming that Steve wanted to be closer to the fire while still leeching some of Eddie’s body heat, which is fine by him. But then Steve wrapped his arm around Eddie’s calf and dropped his head on Eddie’s thigh, essentially cuddling Eddie’s leg.

That’s also fine with Eddie. At least until Steve’s hand starts rubbing up and down Eddie’s leg, his fingers occasionally coming in contact with bare skin where his jeans ride up and his sock rides down while, at the same time, his hair is tickling Eddie’s skin through the rips in his jeans.

He reaches for Steve’s hair, intending to move it away from his leg but the moment his fingers touch the strands, Steve shudders and melts under the touch. Eddie doesn’t have the heart to push Steve’s head away so he ends up playing with his hair instead, brushing his fingers through the strands.

It’s maddening. All of it— Steve’s head on his lap, his fingers in Steve’s hair and the small noises it drags from him, Steve’s fingers playing with his ankle bracelet and his wiry leg hairs.

Suddenly, Eddie feels hot all over, and it has nothing to do with the flames bathing them in red and yellow and orange. And when Steve tilts his head and kisses Eddie’s knee it feels as if he might burst into flames.

But when he looks up and finds Nancy staring at them with what can only be described as a scowl —a jealous scowl— it’s like being hit in the face with cold water. Cold water and a realization. The realization that Steve might be doing all this to make Nancy jealous.

Eddie doesn’t know why exactly. Maybe he’s ready to go public with their relationship and he’s trying to bait Nancy into accepting. Maybe he’s getting back at her for whatever happened with Jonathan when she was still dating Steve. Maybe it’s just a weird fucking kind of foreplay.

It doesn’t matter what it is, Eddie knows he doesn’t want to be a part of it.

So he pulls his hand away from Steve’s hair, and as carefully as he can, jerks his leg free.

Steve turns his head, looking up at Eddie with big confused eyes. “You okay, Eds?”

“I, um. I need to smoke,” he lies, scrambling to his feet.

Steve looks even more confused at that. “You can do it here, you know? We literally all smell like smoke already,” he says with a chuckle.

But Eddie shakes his head. “No, I- I gotta go, sorry, Steve,” he stammers out, tripping on the log as he hastily heads back to the van.

Without stopping, he digs a cigarette and hiz Zippo from his jacket, lighting it up as he walks. He hears Steve call out for him once, twice then nothing. Eddie pretends it doesn’t hurt that he didn’t come after him but he’s got Nancy, so why would he?

“Goddammit,” Eddie curses, running his hands through his hair with a frustrated groan, lit cigarette dangling from his lips.

It falls on the ground when Eddie lets out a strangled scream as Steve materializes out of fucking nowhere.

He hurriedly snuffs it out as he tries to get his heartbeat under control. “The bonfire wasn’t enough, Harrington?” He scoffs. “Are you trying to get me to start a real fire sneaking up on me like that?”

“I didn’t sneak up. I was calling for you.”

Oh. Eddie might’ve missed that from the blood rushing through his ears. “What do you want?”

“Why are you leaving? What happened?” When Eddie doesn’t answer, Steve’s face scrunches up. “Did I do something?”

Whatever Eddie’s face does at that is answer enough and Steve’s shoulders slump. “Shit, was that too much— I’m sorry, Eddie, I thought—”

“That you could use me to make your girlfriend jealous? Yeah, well, a heads up would’ve been nice,” Eddie says bitterly.

Steve jerks his head back as if he’s been slapped. “What?”

“I’m just saying that I probably would’ve said yes if you asked. At least then I wouldn’t have gotten my hopes up, y’know?”

“I- I don’t know, Eddie, what are you talking about?”

Rolling his eyes, Eddie asks, “You were trying to make Nancy jealous by being all over me, yeah?”

Steve splutters. “Uh, no?”

Eddie frowns. “So what? You guys are in an open relationship or something?”

“We’re not in any kind of relationship!” Steve says, his voice loud and hysterical at this point.

“Please!” Eddie scoffs. “You two have been inseparable since she and Jonathan broke up! It’s obvious you’re back together!”

“We’re not, Eddie, we’re friends! Yeah, we’re closer than we were before but that’s just because—” he hesitates.

“Because?” Eddie prompts with an impatient hand gesture.

Steve sighs, glances over his shoulder to where Nancy and Robin are and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Oh, what the hell!” He says to himself. “We got closer because we both realized we have a crush on our best friend.”

Eddie’s nose wrinkles. “Buckley?”

“No,” Steve says, dragging a hand down his face. “Well, Nancy does. She has a crush on Robin and I hope she’s telling her right now and that she won’t care that I just outed her to you—” His eyes meet Eddie’s and they’re open, vulnerable, hopeful. “But no, I don’t have a crush on Robin, Eddie, I have a crush on you.”

Eddie blinks. Then he blinks again. Then he pinches his arm hard but the world doesn’t fade away, he doesn’t wake up, he’s not dreaming. This is happening.

“Me?” He asks in a small voice. Steve nods. “So all of that— you weren’t making Nancy jealous you were—”

“Making a move on you, yeah,” Steve admits shyly, hanging a hand from his neck.

“Oh,” he says as he recontextualizes everything that has happened in the last couple of hours— hell, in the last couple of weeks. “Oh,” he repeats. “For what it’s worth it would’ve worked. If I wasn’t, you know, an idiot.”

Steve chuckles softly. “Well, good to know.”

Eddie bites his lip and goes on, a little nervous. “Yeah, and since I’m not an idiot anymore, if you wanted to like, make another move right now, I wouldn’t storm off or yell at you or—”

Eddie’s words are cut off by Steve making his move, which consists of him cupping Eddie’s cheeks, guiding his face to his and catching Eddie’s lips in a kiss.

Eddie stands frozen only for a split second before he loops his arms over Steve’s shoulders and kisses him back, feeling a fire bigger than any bonfire they could’ve built blaze wildly in his chest.

Steve dragging his teeth across his bottom lip only fuels the fire and causes Eddie to make a punched-out groaning sound that Steve chases with his tongue, deepening the kiss in a way that makes Eddie’s knees so weak they threaten to give out.

Before they do, causing Eddie to fall on them for a third time that night, Steve slows the kiss down to a full stop, ending it by nuzzling their noses together.

“You still are by the way,” Steve says.

“Huh?”

“An idiot,” he says, kissing the corner of Eddie’s mouth. “I can’t believe you thought I’d use you to make Nancy jealous!”

Eddie groans, dropping his head on Steve’s shoulder, embarrassed. “I’m never gonna live that down, am I?”

Steve wraps his arms around him, kissing his hair. “Nope.”

“Yeah, I deserve that,” he says, nuzzling Steve’s neck. He jerks his head back as he thinks of something— “Wait, if Nancy wasn’t jealous then what’s with all the scowls and the glares?”

“Oh, she was jealous. Of me. For making a move on you while all she did was share a blanket with Robin,” Steve says with a laugh.

And Eddie can’t help but giggle at how ridiculous this all is. “Should we make her jealous a little more?” He asks, grabbing Steve’s hand with a wicked grin.

Steve nods, intertwining their fingers together and letting Eddie drag him back towards the bonfire.

***

They find Robin and Nancy making out next to what’s left of the fire, wrapped up in the blanket and each other. Quietly, they make their way back to the cars, climbing into the back of Eddie’s van, kissing until the sun comes up.

[eupheme]

All I think of reading your logan/reader/wade fics is Jesse's Girl 🤣 bro is so in love with Wade's gf , a little jealous, a little obsessive, and then suddenly he's like "🤔 Wade's kinda cute too". If you had any inspiration for a little angst maybe a little separate drabble of jealous Logan and the reader just teasing the absolute shit out of him for it?

ahh anon love that song and yesss it would be so perfect for logan trying to sort out his feelings! 💖 I did a little drabble for you - a logan pov as he watches you and Wade and tried to figure out if he’s feeling jealous or left out or turned on, haha 💕 thanks for sending this in!!

ours | logan howlett x f!reader x wade wilson

450 words | poly relationship, jealous!logan, flirting, light angst, implied smut

He doesn’t have a name for this feeling that’s settled deep in his chest. Pricking at him - not an ache, but an undercurrent of something like annoyance.

It’s not like before. Those years ago, that sharp stab between his lungs when he saw Scott and Jean together. Years spent pining, if he was the sort of man to feel that kind of way.

Envious. Poison in his veins, the way he’d look for an opportunity to see if she’d change her mind.

Now, he’s somewhere in-between. His eyes drifting from the television - the movie he was watching ending some time ago. Switching to one of Wade’s weird shows, some shit about people finding love in pods. Flicking to the kitchen, instead.

You’re making something - vanilla and sugar lingers in the apartment. Wade’s arms wrapped around your waist. Pulling laughter from you so easily, with the way he whispers in your ear.

A smear of icing on your cheek that he put there himself, only to lick away as you try to wriggle from his grip.

Logan’s jaw grits.

Caught in a limbo. Craving touch, yet shielding away when it’s offered. Still fucked up over everything. Certain he doesn’t deserve the way you both beam at him - that he’s better off here. Separate.

Jealous. Unable to look away. Should be him over there. With you. Both of you, and that feeling inside him twists again.

He gets caught staring, brow furrowed.

“You want some, Logan?” You wiggle a spoon at him, “Saved some for you.”

“Nah. You two seem fine without me,” It comes out clipped, and your eyebrows raise.

A sideways look at Wade, who smirks.

“Picked the wrong color for your suit, pookie.” He chuckles, “Green would’ve been better.”

He scowls, as you untwine from Wade’s grasp. Crossing the room, Logan’s shifting as you climb onto his lap, straddling him. Fixing him with a look, as his own avert.

“Is that right? You feeling left out, Lo?” You coo - fingers touching his jaw.

His eyes return, reluctantly. The silence is almost an answer, with the way his lips press together.

“You know we were talking about licking icing off your abs, right?”

That has him blinking. Lips parting, “What?”

“She said abs. I said dick,” Wade chimes in, “Just to clarify.”

Your eyes roll, “The point is, whatever’s going on in here-”

Fingers tap against his temple, as you smile, “Doesn’t mean it’s real, okay? And in the mean time, we’ll keep flirting with you until you get it.”

He frowns, “Get what?”

Your head dips, so that your lips can press against his. His fingers tighten on your waist - you taste like sugar, that prickle in his chest blooms into something sweet.

Right. He’ll get it, even if it takes a little while for you both to hammer it into his skull. It’s a little thicker with the adamantium, after all.

Always had been a fool when it came to love.

[berrybeca]

'Till You Tell Me To Leave - Theo Nott

heartbroken + yearner!theo, unrequited + unspoken love, lyrics taken from TV Girl - Till You Tell Me To Leave. req are open btw!!

I'm just gonna stay till you tell me to go. Theo knew he was getting himself into something bad. When he first got his slender hands on your curves, he knew nothing else he ever touched would feel as soft and right as your skin felt on his tight grasp. And for the first time, he felt he could rely on someone. Sure, he had friends, but would they ever equate to the feeling of intimacy that can only be achieved when he is inside you? No. The harsh but clear answer was that nothing could compare. But still, Theo's fear to have his feeling unreciprocated and to lose you fully, put him down so much - that when he realized you had been seeing someone else on the side, along with him, his mind froze. Sure, Theo never talked about his feelings to you, but his jealousy towards this new person was overridden by his immediate fear of losing you. So he kept quiet. He wasn't going to let you fade away and "subtly" create distance between you both. He deserved at least a formal goodbye - he knew that much. I only wanna hear what I already know. Was he already aware that you would leave him for this other person? Yes. But Theo was anything but a quitter. A coward for not being able to confess? Yes. That he had to admit to being. But in his defence, as were you. Theo wasn't letting go until you told him to, and you weren't telling him to let go until he got the hint to leave by himself.

But I just wanna hear it said out loud. Leave me alone, god-damn you, get out.

Anything would be better than this limbo he was put into. Why couldn't he just be heart-broken at once, to be able to stop this yearning in his heart that he couldn't ignore. But why can't he leave you by himself? Why?

I'll climb onto your bed, I'll get under the sheets. His hands flatly lay against your back, his muscles relaxed and his nose tucked comfortably against your chest, inhaling the soft scent of your skin and your bed. But for the last weeks, he had been smelling another scent with that. How he hated your new lover. The one Theo had been slowly replaced by as the days went on. Ditching Theo even as he offered your favorite things - getting high with him and watching movies while you both explored eachother's bodies. That's when he knew it was over. Whatever it is you both unofficially had, was now discarded. Thrown to the side after someone else got into your pants.

Just until you look me straight in the eye Point to the door, say good luck and goodbye.

Your silent sighs and sad eyes broke his heart, sure. But it was nothing compared to the pain he would feel if he let go. The pain he would feel if he saw you and this new lover strolling around Hogwarts, being a couple - exactly as Theo wanted to be with you... No, that can't happen. That's his place to take, and no one would get in between Theo and the adoration he feels for you. Nothing. And I'm just gonna stay 'till you tell me a reason. I'm not gonna let you let me down easy. Why? Why would you not let Theo love you? He wanted a relationship. For about the first time in his teenage years, he wanted to care and to love. He won't quit you. He sneaks into your dorm, almost crying as he sees another person's socks thrown around you floor. But nothing else matters. Not when his hands are the ones squeezing your waist. Not when it's his ear you whimper into. Nothing else matters with you around him. Why can't you feel the same? Not until you look me straight in the eyes, Say "he's coming over, I don't want you around." So I'm just gonna sit here and stare at your lips. I won't read it in your face, I won't take any hints.

----

i hate this!! by the way, i do have a happy second part being planned, but this came to me in a dream and i had to write it. I hate how it turned out but it's okay! Yes, i am obsessed with Theo, thank you for asking.

[janeyseymour]

Scrubs- pt 2

part 1

for @sweetpinkstrawberriez with the prompt: the reader getting to meet the rest of Melissa’s family

*entirely unedited*

WC: 3.75k

Since that first seventeen minute, quite the unconventional first date, you and Melissa have been on a multitude of other dates. Some are in between little lulls and breaks that you have during your shifts, some are dinner dates when you’re able to make it work, and others are overnight when all you can do is collapse onto the couch with her and curl into her figure to fall asleep after a particularly hard shift. It’s not conventional by any means, but the two of you make it work. And you find yourself falling for her more and more. But nothing is official between the two of you, not yet at least. Nobody has brought up the words ‘girlfriend’ or ‘partner’ or ‘significant other’. So you remain in a little bubble of limbo land. You’re oddly okay with that if it means that you continue to get to see her.

“I have off tomorrow and the next day if you wanted to do anything,” you tell the woman you’re seeing softly over the phone.

“I unfortunately am not available tomorrow,” Melissa tells you. “Nonna is having everybody over for a luncheon to prove that her stroke was ‘bullshit’. But Sunday, I would love to see you.”

“Yeah,” you smile into the device. “I’ll see you Sunday. Tell Bea I’m glad she’s feeling better.”

So, Melissa shows up to her nonna’s on Saturday alone. And immediately upon being spotted, Bea is pestering the redhead.

“Where is that pretty girlfriend of yours?”

“What do you mean?” Green eyes are rolled. “I don’t have a girlfriend, Nonna.”

“Y/N, the nurse?” Bea says as though it’s obvious. “Your ma says you’re still seeing her relatively frequently, and everyone else’s significant others are here, so she should be here too.”

“Nonna,” the redhead sighs. “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s not my significant other, she’s not my-”

“You’ve been on dates?” A nod of the head. “You’ve kissed her?” Another nod. “You have feelings for her and still see her?” One final nod. “So, you’re dating. She’s your girlfriend whether you want her to be or not.”

“Unofficially,” Melissa tells her grandmother.

“So invite her over,” Nonna instructs. “And before you try to lie to me and tell me that she’s working, I already know that she isn’t.”

“And how would you know that?” the second grade teacher asks, eyes narrowing.

Bea just smirks. “I know a guy. Now go call her and invite her over. If you don’t, I will.”

You’re sitting out on your front porch reading a book on this exceptionally nice day when your phone starts to buzz to life next to you. Melissa’s smiling face is on the screen, and you can’t help but furrow a brow as you place your book down and answer your phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey hun,” you hear her deep voice, and it sounds somewhat agitated.

“Hey,” you turn your voice to butter. “Is everything okay? I know you said you were supposed to be at Bea’s house right now.”

“I am,” Melissa sighs. You don’t know it, but she’s rubbing her temple as she prepares to ask you this question. “Are you doing anything right now?”

“Besides sitting on my front porch reading my book? No. Why? What’s up?”

“How would you feel about coming over to Nonna’s? She’s practically begging for you.”

Your eyebrows creep up your forehead. “Uh, yeah, sure. Send me the address?”

“I’ll just come pick you up,” Melissa tells you. “I’m not far from your place anyhow… only about ten minutes.”

When she pulls up to your house, you’re sitting there looking effortlessly beautiful in a sundress and a light bit of makeup. She makes her way out of the car and up your steps.

“You didn’t have to get out of your-”

She shushes you with a soft kiss as she pulls you in gently by the waist. You’re left somewhat breathless as you pull apart, although you aren’t sure why. It wasn’t an intense kiss by any means- maybe it’s because you’re swooning at the softness of her touch this time.

“You look beautiful,” she compliments you quietly.

“Thank you,” you smile softly as you tuck a few stray hairs behind her ear. “You look… wow, Mel.”

“I look like I always do,” the redhead laughs softly. “Probably worse considering we’re all just hanging out at Nonna’s house. We should probably get going too, before I hear anymore from Nonna. She’s already texted me eight times since I left her house… ten minutes ago.”

You allow her to lead you to her car and climb in. When you pull into a spot, your eyes go just the slightest bit wider at the amount of cars in the driveway as well as running up and down the street.

“Don’t let it get to you,” she tells you softly. “It looks like a lot of people, and it is; but everyone is spread out and doing their own things.”

You hum softly in response before undoing your seatbelt. You climb out of the car. By the time you’re closing the door and spinning around to face the house again, Melissa’s hand is in your own and squeezing gently- as if silently telling you that it’s all going to be alright. 

The two of you make the trek up to the house, and as soon as she’s opening the door, all eyes land on you. Well, those who are in the front room- including Bea Schemmenti herself.

“There she is!” the matriarch of the family claps her hands in delight. “Oh, Y/N! Get over here!”

You chuckle as you drop Melissa’s hand gently and make your way over to your former patient. She’s hugging you tightly, kissing both cheeks of yours, and telling you that she’s absolutely thrilled you’re here.

“Glad to be here,” you smile softly, a deep shade of red creeping into your cheeks. Nonna only continues to hold herself close to you until you feel Melissa’s presence.

“Nonna, let her go,” the redhead rolls her eyes as she takes your hand back into her own. When Kristen Marie coughs and looks at her expectantly, the woman sighs. “Guys, this is Y/N. She was one of Nonna’s nurses at the hospital-”

“That I did not have to be in!” Bea interjects.

“And we’ve been hanging out for the past month or so,” Melissa finishes.

The family just eyes you warily before turning back to their conversations. The teacher just pulls you along into the kitchen, offering you a drink. You smile and gratefully take a glass of wine as she pulls herself out a beer.

She gives you a tour of the house, holding your hand the entire time as she does so. She introduces you to everyone in the family with a smile on her face, but she never once uses the word ‘girlfriend’. You don’t much mind- the two of you haven’t spoken of it. That is, until she’s showing you the last room- the den where all of the kids hang out.

With such a big family, there are about ten kids playing in the den. It’s loud, it’s exciting, it’s everything that you would expect from a bunch of rowdy kids. But upon ‘Aunt Lissa’s’ entrance, they go silent and wide eyed. They’re only that way for a second though before they’re all cheering and tackling her in hugs to the point that she has to drop your hand to hold onto a few of the little ones as she tumbles to the floor. 

“Good grief,” the redhead groans playfully as she pulls herself up from the floor. “I told youse, Aunt Lissa is getting too old to tackle, and youse are getting too big.”

They all just give her cheeky and not at all apologetic smiles as they continue to cling to her in any way they can. And then their eyes land on you.

The youngest, who you would later learn is her cousin’s daughter, cocks her head to the side as she inspects your looks. “You’re pretty.”

“Thank you, hun,” you smile warmly, keeping your voice soft.

“Who are you?” another asks- and it isn’t rude or ill-intentioned. It’s a simple question full of curiosity.

“That’s actually why Aunt Lissa came down,” the redhead cuts in gently as she scoops the smallest one into her arms and settles her on her hip. “This is Y/N, and she came to join us for today. I wanted to introduce you all to her.”

The oldest of the group, maybe about nine, looks between the two of you with a knowing look. “Aunt Lissa?”

“Yeah?”

“She your girlfriend?” the kid asks bluntly.

Green eyes meet your panicked ones, and you can see the same look in hers. You give her a small little shrug and a smile- one that you hope conveys she can saw whatever she feels is right to explain your situation to a bunch of young children.

“Something like that,” Melissa chooses to say. “Something like that.”

“But Aunt Lissa,” the littlest one lays a gentle hand on the woman’s cheek.

“Yes, Elizabeth?”

“Nonna only lets family over,” Elizabeth states finitely. “So… she gotta be your girlfriend.”

Melissa looks to you again with a sparkle in her eye. “I would say she’s definitely something like a girlfriend to me… we just haven’t gotten that far to talk about if she wants to be a girlfriend to Aunt Lissa or not.”

The little girl shrugs as she starts to twirl the red curls around her little finger with a yawn. “She should be. She’s pretty.”

“I’m glad you think so, Lizzie,” Melissa chuckles as she strokes the little wisps down. “Is someone getting sleepy? Is it time for nap time?”

The young girl shakes her head adamantly, but she does lay her head down on her aunt’s shoulder. “Just like Aunt Lissa cuddles.”

“And Aunt Lissa never says no to that,” the redhead says gently as she drops a kiss to Elizabeth’s temple. “But I am going to head back upstairs with Y/N.”

Lizzie shrugs and tightens her hold around Melissa’s neck. The three of you head back up the steps, you now holding both your wine glass and her beer bottle as your… something like a girlfriend… carries the little girl.

You end up settling on one of the couches in the family room, just taking everything in. What Elizabeth had said about Nonna only letting family over for gatherings like this sticks with you. Does she think that you and Melissa are girlfriends? Does she not know that you’re really not together yet- at least not officially?

You shake those thoughts from your mind though as you feel a hand interlace with yours with a gentle squeeze. Melissa is looking at you with that soft look that you’ve grown quite fond of as she keeps another hand gently on Lizzie’s back, the little girl now dozing softly.

“I think we may be stuck here for a while,” the redhead jokes with you. “Liz loves her sleep, and if she wakes up too soon, she’s a cranky little bugger.”

“You’re really good with her,” you compliment softly, leaning over to kiss her cheek. 

She smiles back. “I try. She makes it easy for the most part. They’re all really great kids down there.”

You hum softly before leaning into her figure a bit more. The two of you take in the chaos around you for a bit until you hear Nonna’s voice calling that lunch is ready and to start filling up plates. But Melissa still has the little girl on her.

“I can grab our plates,” you offer quietly.

She smiles at you and kisses your cheek before nodding. “That’d be great.”

“What should I put on your plate?”

“A lil scoop of everythin’,” she tells you. “The Schemmenti’s can cook.”

You chuckle softly before heading into the room where all the food is, and your eyes widen just slightly. You don’t think you’ve ever seen this much food in one room before. 

You oblige her requests, filling two plates with a little bit of everything laid out before heading back to her. You hand her the plate and utensils intended for her before taking Lizzie out of her hold.

Once you have the little girl settled on your own chest, you glance over to see Melissa looking at you curiously.

“So you can eat,” you shrug softly and continue to hold your… girlfriend’s (?) niece close to your chest.

Others start to fill in the room, and they look at you with a sense of warmth as they see you holding onto the smallest member of the Schemmenti family while Melissa eats.

Lizzie wakes up in your hold a bit later.

“Y/N?” she asks quietly.

You just nod with the softest of eyes, ones you know show warmth and kindness and that you use with patients consistently. “Yeah, hun. Are you hungry? Should we go fill up a plate for you?”

The little one climbs off your lap before holding out her hand and looking at you expectantly. You take it, of course you do, and allow her to lead you to the spread of food once more. You fill up a plate for her before taking her back to where you were sitting previously.

Voices had filled the living room as everyone questioned Melissa and the fact that you were sitting in on a family gathering, but as you entered, they all hushed.

You just smile at them all as you sit back down next to Melissa, holding Lizzie’s plate. The little girl climbs back into your lap before beginning to feed herself. The entire time, you just watch with such a fondness in your eyes. You ignore the fact that almost the entire Schemmenti family is staring at you.

Eventually, she’s finished, and she’s holding out the napkin that you had brought for her. You clean up her face, wipe down her hands, and let her decide what to do next.

“I go play,” she tells you with gusto. Before she runs back off for the den though, she squeezes you in a tight hug, her cheeks squishing into yours. And then she’s off. 

Only then do you reach for your own plate, now cold. It doesn’t matter though- Melissa was right: the Schemmenti’s sure do know their way around the kitchen. You lean into Melissa’s side a bit with a smile as you start to make your way through your own lunch. 

A throat clears, and only then do you look up. All eyes are on you.

“Hm?” you hum through a mouthful of food.

“How did you do that?” One of Melissa’s cousins looks at you wildly.

“Do what?” you ask, once you’ve swallowed.

“Get Lizzie to sit with you like that? She literally only goes to Nonna, Mel, and her parents.”

You shrug and look to the woman sitting next to you, silently asking if that was true. She nods. Then you shrug again. 

Once you’re finished your meal, you insist on helping clean up as a thank you for allowing you to join their apparently sacred family meal.

“You don’t have to, Y/N,” Bea tells you.

You wave her off. “I insist, Bea.” You take everyone’s plates and stack them high before carrying them off into the kitchen like a waitress.

Melissa goes to follow, but her mother coughs, stopping her.

“What, Ma?”

“When are you gonna just ask her to be your girlfriend?”

“We haven’t talked about it yet,” the redhead rolls her eyes.

“You ain’t dating her?” A cousin pipes up.

“I-”

“They’s datin’,” Nonna cuts in. “Whether Melly wants to admit it or not. Why you think Y/N’s here with us for family lunch?”

“We aren’t dating,” Melissa huffs. “At least not yet.”

“Well, you should be,” Kristen Marie tells her sister. “I see them puppy dog eyes she gives you, and you have a lovesick look in your face- disgustin’.”

“Shut it,” the redhead glares at her sister.

“Is all I’m sayin,” the blonde sister shoots back with a smirk.

The two of you do the dishes in a peaceful manner, much like how you usually do them in the comfort of either of your homes, before she wraps a hand around your waist.

“So,” she sighs softly as she kisses you.

You kiss her back gently. “Yeah?”

“How you like the family?”

“Love ‘em,” you reply with a cheeky smile. “Especially the little ones. Lizzie is adorable.”

“She is, but what Gia said is true,” Melissa tells you. “Liz won’t go to anyone but 

Nonna, me, or her parents.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re something special, you know that?” the redhead tells you as she tucks a stray hair behind your ear. “Just bein’ able to waltz into my life, into my family… An’ so, I was thinkin’-”

Whatever she’s about to ask you, and you have an inkling of what was to come, is interrupted by Lizzie running up the steps and flying into both yours and Melissa’s legs, using them as a shield.

“Liz!” Melissa gasps out in shock.

“Sophia’s trying to catch me!” the little girl squeaks out. 

Somehow, this ends up with the two of you roped into their little game. It’s a little bite of domesticity with Melissa, and something in your head tells you that you’re going to be a part of this family for a long time- even if just as a friend. The Schemmenti’s have already welcomed you in, specifically the oldest and the youngest, and of course Melissa.

Eventually, you’re able to get out of the game, the redhead telling them that Aunt Lissa is too tired and needs to go be a boring adult upstairs. They protest, but she stands her ground. She goes to take you with her, only to be met with a chorus of protests.

“I’m a little tired too,” you chuckle softly as you crouch down to meet their eyes. “But I promise I’ll come play again before your Aunt Lissa and I leave, okay?”

“Pinky swears?” Lizzie holds out her pinky.

“Pinky swears,” you interlock your finger with hers before kissing your thumb and pressing it to hers. You stand up straight, smooth out your dress, and take Melissa’s hand in your own before heading back up the steps.

You can’t help but smile at the little voice giggling to her cousin’s, “Y/N even knew about sealin’ it with a kiss!”

It’s a long while before you and Melissa go to head out. Her family had fully invited you into the conversation, wanting to get to know you more, catch up on life, and spill the little secrets of Melissa as a child to you. It’s… it’s something special that you’ve found yourself in. And then of course, you couldn’t break your promise to the kids, so you head downstairs and promise them ten minutes of playing before you were to really head out. Melissa stays up with her family, who all look at her with a sense of urgency.

“J’ask her out yet?” Nonna looks at her granddaughter expectantly.

“Well, I was gonna,” the redhead sighs dramatically. “But then Liz came up and roped us into their game.”

“She’s real good with them,” a family member notes. “My Alex said that she adores Y/N and thinks you two should be together.”

“‘Course she said that,” Melissa rolls her eyes playfully. “I’m gonna ask her, okay?”

“You better, ‘fore she realizes what a shit show you are and runs,” Kristen Marie teases her sister. 

Melissa goes to smack her sister, but you walk back up the steps, Lizzie on your hip. The little girl has her one hand twirling your hair around her finger while the other hand plays with the necklace that hangs from your neck.

“Hey,” you smile and make your presence known. “Lizzie wanted to know if Aunt Lissa would come down for the last five minutes to play?”

Lizzie nods excitedly.

“What are they playin’?”

“The big kids playin’ fort, but I wanna play dolls,” the little girl mumbles. Then she looks at her aunt. “Please, Aunt Lissa.”

The three of you head back down the steps, and five minutes turns into fifteen before you really do try to head out.

“No!” Lizzie protests. “Keep playin’, Y/N.”

“Y/N will be back,” Melissa tries to placate the little girl.

The three year old looks at her aunt with big green eyes, ones that nearly mirror Melissa’s. “You pinky swears?”

“Pinky swears,” the redhead smiles as she promises her niece.

By the time the two of you leave, you’ve had a million more hugs from the little ones of the family, Bea has kissed your cheeks multiple times, and Annette has handed you multiple Tupperware containers full of food to take with you.

You and the redhead end up in her car with warm hearts, fully stomachs, and a slight blush tinting your cheeks now that you’re finally alone.

“Your family is precious,” you tell her with a smile, taking her hand in your own.

“No they ain’t,” Melissa rolls her eyes. “But they sure as hell love you.”

You smile at her.

“I- I know it’s probably a bit too soon to say this,” she fiddles with the ring that sits on your middle finger. “But… they love you, and I love you.”

Your eyes go almost comically wide at her words. She was right, this was very early to be saying that word. “I-”

“I don’t expect you to say it back,” she tells you quickly. “But I wanted you to know… and I’ve wanted to ask you this the entire day, but any time I went to, we were interrupted.”

“Yeah?” you ask, a smile dancing across your face. You know exactly what she’s going to ask you.

“Do you wanna… you know, actually date? Be my girlfriend?”

You laugh. “Wow, Mel. How romantic. Really, such a charmer.”

“Hey… I’m not great at the hard questions,” she rolls her eyes. “But, what d’ya say?”

“I’d be honored,” you chuckle as you lean over the center console to kiss her. “And so you know, I love you too.”

Neither of you know it, but Nonna is standing at the window watching the two of you. She smiles and claps her hands as she turns back around to face the rest of the family. “Melly’s got a girlfriend.”

“About damn time,” Bea’s daughter chuckles.

Tags

(and let me know if you want to be included!): @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @thesamesweetie @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @sapphicxrat @a-queen-and-her-throne @sunsol-22 @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld

[celestialprincesse]

🌹💞

Simon Riley does not like Valentines day. To him, it's another one of those pointless holidays people use as an excuse for overconsumption and to try and show off how their lives are better than everyone else's. Simon hates the excessive gaudiness of it all and the lame hearts and flowers. Seriously, how much thought does someone put into a wilting bouquet of red roses and some overpriced chocolates in a flimsy heart shaped box - they're at the front of every supermarket throughout basically all of February, everywhere.

Simon Riley hates Valentines day until he meets you. Bumps into you at the local florist, unusually unaware of his surroundings as he stews on the pointless idiocy of another lame holiday. The way you squeal as the three dozen peonies wrapped in brown paper tumble to the floor which you land rather inelegantly beside snaps him from his reverie with a grunt. "Fuck - shite - M' so sorry love." He stutters out, feeling like all the air has been punched from his chest when he sees your big eyes staring up at him with wild confusion, now crumpled flowers long forgotten as you stare up at the intoxicatingly rich brown eyes of the man before you. Although, man doesn't feel like the right word for him, tall and strong and holding out a hand the size of your head to help you up, your peonies dwarfed by his long fingers as he helps you up.

You vaguely hear yourself mumble something in response, an awkward stutter like a lovesick teenager asking their crush to the movies, met by a strong hand to the top of your bicep, soothing you, asking if you're alright. A concerned eyebrow furrows when you don't respond, just stand there gawking like a fish. He wonders if maybe you hit your head on the way down, and he was too dumbstruck by the flurry of soft silky skin, glossy, sun-struck hair and petals to see. You look like you've just seen God, and he looks like he's just seen the most beautiful thing said God could ever have crafted.

"Are you okay?" The low timbre of his voice - you don't even know how to react, so dazed and confused and there's butterflies - no, not butterflies, bald eagles and kestrels and ospreys, massive feathery wings beating against your diaphragm and rendering you speechless - butterflies are for normal men. The man before you is too monumental for butterflies.

"Yes! Yes." You squeak in embarrassment like a mouse under a cat's paw, looking defeatedly down at your flowers, brown eyes following your gaze with a sympathetic look.

"Were these for someone?" He seems almost a little flustered by his foolish lack of spatial awareness, which just so happened to strike at the worst time, seeing as now he stands before you, clutching a withering bouquet, failing to save this conversation. Both of you stand like that together, in some strange limbo, like time has stood still in order to force you together, not starting back up again until this conversation goes somewhere. "Just me." You murmur, voice so pathetically small under the draw of his magnetism. He's probably here to get flowers for his girlfriend, or fiancee even. She'll probably turn up any second, beautiful and charismatic and just as magnetic as the man before you is.

"Let me buy you some more, yeah?" He nods his head back in the direction of the fancier florist in town, the one you'd splurged on in a valentines induced self-pity party. He buys you three dozen pink peonies, matching paper and ribbons too. He also insists on taking you for a coffee, and buying you some silly pink and white frosted cake in the excuse that your blood sugars probably dropped after the fall and some other fake nonsense like that. You obviously say yes, to the flowers and the coffee and the cake - to the gentle smiles and the crease of his warm brown eyes, his hand on the small of your back. Both of you say yes to giving Valentines day a try.

⋆ ˚.⋆୨୧˚

Some short simple little V day fluff for y'all the brain isn't braining at the moment but also wanted to give you all a little Valentines day present because ily

[mourningsbane]

regarding the newest comic post, a lot of ppl are saying honeyspring would never harm a kit and that her "gift" isn't meant to be malicious. but, i mean, if it IS mourningsbane, she might be giving it to sweetkit in hopes she will eat it, pass away, and thus be able to join her in her weird limbo afterlife so she doesn't have to be alone anymore. that's a recurring theme that seems to be honeyspring's biggest issue: she doesnt want to be alone.

yes sweetkit talks to her now, but there is still the disconnect that sweetkit is alive and honeyspring is not. honeyspring also cant communicate easily anymore; nowhere near the way that sweetkit and other living cats can. honeyspring is limited in terms of communication with most of it seeming to rely on symbolism or physically visible things.

sweetkit has other clanmates to interact with and a life she has to live filled with responsibilities, events, etc. as she grows up in the clan. she can't give honeyspring her undivided attention and whenever she is away living her own life, honeyspring is left alone, waiting and hoping that sweetkit will come back (which is never a 100% certain thing.)

on the topic of sweetkit growing up, that's the thing: she's going to grow up. while kits may be less judgmental and indifferent to honeyspring's appearance, as sweetkit gets older, she may get more perturbed by honeysprings appearance and/or discover honeyspring's story and make the connection that shes been talking to a dead cat all this time. that being said, she might not want to even be around honeyspring anymore and might even fear her. if she fears her or doesnt want to see her anymore, honeyspring will have lost their only friend, rendering them completely and utterly alone (which, again, seems to be her biggest source of distress.)

on top of this, honeyspring lost her kits (whether u take that to mean they died or they became... Not Kits) so if sweetkit joins them, they can finally be the mother/parent they were meant to be but was denied so cruely. in this case, sweetkit won't get older. she will remain a kit forever, so honeyspring can be a mother/parent to sweetkit and cherish the joys of mother/parenthood forever, making her miserable afterlife a lot more bearable.

dont get me wrong! i adore honeyspring and hold her very dear to my heart (is it weird to say shes a bit of a comfort character to me at this point...?) but they're in a very heartbreaking, complex, and unstable state of being right now and who knows how in control of her emotions, actions, and thought processes she is.

cats make mistakes (obviously 💀) and dont always think abt/realize the big picture or the consequences of their actions all the time. and honestly, it's understandable for honeyspring to be acting "selfish" abt sweetkit; honeyspring did nothing wrong in life (as far as i know) and had all of what was meant to be a love-filled, family-oriented future stripped away from them in a gruesome and downright horrific way caused by such a simple mistake no less. why cant they have this one semblance of control over their existence now that their future is gone.

it wouldnt be the first time a cat gave their clanmate mourningsbane after all.

(sorry if a lot of this doesn't make sense or is confusing! i have a lot of trouble putting my thoughts into words...)

-warriorwhiskers (warrior cat sideblog)

Oh, this is a VERY interesting theory! I like the way your brain works! <3

I cannot say for sure how accurate this theory is due to potential spoilers, BUT I think you have a very valid read on Honeyspring's personality!

If it helps, know that Honeyspring has always been resourceful! LutumClan has no official nursery? That's fine, Honeyspring will make one! Does the clan need more prey for the fresh-kill pile? Worry not, Honeyspring's on the case!

Can't enter paradise? That's okay, Honeyspring will make her own.

[diamond-champagne]

9. It'll Always Be You

Paige Beuckers x Azzi Fudd

Warnings: none :)

Summary: In which promises are made...and kept

a/n: The end is so close ya'll. Please let me know what yous want next. Also she's short but I love her.

It would be easier if they hated each other. It wouldn’t be this hard. The burning feeling ignited my anger so deep in them would be a welcomed relief of whatever this is. This a constant state of discontentment that has seemed to worm its way into their lives and settle down in their minds. 

It’s like being in a rocking chair and knowing you won’t fall but still feeling the panic that arises anyway. 

It’s like knowing you’re above the surface in the ocean and yet you feel like your lungs are filling with water

It’s like knowing everything is going to be okay but not knowing how.

-

Paige moves through the next couple of days the way the tide rolls in down the shore. She comes and she goes, day in and day out. 

To be fair, this is new to her. The blonde is used to fighting and then making up, or even fighting some more. However, this weird limbo of which they each hold a key to a lock they don’t have is scaringly unfamiliar. They used to be perfectly intertwined and now they’re chaotically tangled. Both pulling on random threads, having no clue if they want to be closer together or further apart. 

Paige is plagued with the will they, won’t they. Azzi and her are trapped playing this game of cat and mouse and she’s not sure who is who. The worst part is that she isn’t sure why they’re doing this because every time, since that conversation with Azzi, she feels like her forever is right in front of her. 

-

“I trust you with my life, just not my heart.”

“What does this mean for us?” Azzi whispers. Her body suddenly lags with defeat and upset clouds her eyes.

“It means,” Paige starts before letting out a sigh. “It means that maybe we need to figure out why we’re scared before we can face them.” She can see the protest rise in Azzi so the blonde is quick to keep speaking. “You said that sometimes my feelings were too much so maybe you need to figure out why that scares you. While you do that, I will figure out why I’m scared to trust you to love me.

“And once we do that?” 

“Once we get to the root of our fears, maybe we’ll be in a place where we can be more than friends.”

“Maybe?” Azzi sasses. The word might be the most offensive thing she’s ever heard.

“Maybe,” Paige confirms. “Because I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t want to be hurt. We can’t give each other the love we feel like the other deserves while being scared of said love.”

Azzi shakes her head in understanding. “And what if you decide this isn’t what you want anymore?” The question makes the brown-haired girl’s heart drum against her ribcage. 

It’ll always be you” Paige states. Despite the tears in both of their eyes, Azzi can see sincerity in her favorite pair of eyes. So, she smiles and counters with her own whispered promise. “It’ll always be us.”

So the two stand, facing each other, in this in-between space of friends and lovers. They bask in knowing there’s something yet mourn not having everything. It’s the definition of bittersweet. 

-

The memory is engraved into the blonde’s head the same those words are engraved into her heart. The spoken vowels play on repeat through her mind all day like her favorite song or the newest tik tok sound. She won’t forget these words though. They’ll always be hers to keep; always hers to love.

Until their day comes, Paige will savor the inbetween the best that she can. She’ll revel in the feeling of having Azzi’s eyes on her when they’re out with the team. She memorizes the feeling of their bodies pressed against each other when the pair sit next to each other. The blonde will make it a point to have their fingers touch in passing.

It’s the little things that make this worth it. It’s the little things that make Paige think that maybe they can rush this after all. But then, there’s a specific smile that Azzi has just for the blonde. And when Paige sees it, she knows that this is worth the wait.

But then she’s back to being restless and a little impatient. This much she tells Azzi in the bar bathroom at Ted’s when the girls are a little more free with their alcohol than usual. Tale as old as time and true as can be; Azzi and Paige will only want each other when a drop of liquor is involved. 

“I don’t remember why we’re doing this.” Paige mumbles. Azzi has got her trapped between her body and the sink. The curly-haired girl’s hands are tracing patterns on the blonde’s hip.

“You should. It was your idea.” Azzi answers smugly. The smirk on her face isn’t a result of their conversation but rather how the blonde is reacting to the mere feather touch by Azzi. Her blue eyes are low and hooded. Her body immediately pushes closer to Azzi’s upon contact. The voice that usually drips in confidence is breathy and broken. 

It’s a high that Azzi will never be free from. It’s her favorite version of Paige. The one she can ruin completely if you give her the opportunity. The brown-hair girl knows she should stop. They’re supposed to be taking things slow. But Paige is so perfect infront of her and neither one is sober at the moment so it’s easy to justify when their lips crash together. The kiss starts fast and desperate but ends being slow and passionate. It pulls small moans and whimpers from both girls as they indulge in each other.

When they finally pull apart, there is considerable distance between them. It’s like they both know that this is a bad idea. It’s like they both know they don’t care. But they stay separated at the whispered promise of “You” that Azzi lets out. 

“It’ll always be you.”

PREVIOUS | NEXT

[meazalykov]

wrong number

bayern munich frauen x reader

1/6, 2/6, 3/6, 4/6, 5/6, 6/6

"who are you, and why do you have my number?"

you've been preparing for this move for what feels like forever.

the idea of leaving your small hometown in virginia to live in munich is both exciting and terrifying. you’ve spent weeks packing your things, saying goodbyes, and trying to mentally prepare yourself for the massive change that’s about to happen. 

sure, you’ve dreamed about studying abroad for a long time. now that it’s here, the reality of it feels overwhelming.

you’re going to be thousands of miles away from home, from everything you’ve ever known. your family is supportive, and your friends have been hyping you up nonstop. yasmeen, your closest friend, has been particularly great about helping you stay grounded, always there to distract you from the “what ifs” when the anxiety gets a little too intense. 

today is one of those days.

the two of you had planned a mall trip—something normal and fun before the whirlwind of final packing and travel arrangements takes over. well, yasmeen says that you need a new closet for munich and you don’t disagree.

it feels good to be doing something so ordinary, especially when you know that soon enough, everything in your life is about to be not-so-ordinary. 

you’ve been to this mall a hundred times with yasmeen, today feels a little more special though. maybe it’s because you’re hyperaware that you won’t have moments like these once you’re in germany.

will you make friends in germany? what if germany turns out horribly? are the people nice? is there xenophobia you might experience due to yourself being american? these thoughts plagued the back of your mind. 

"you’re gonna miss me so much, you know that, right?" yasmeen teases as the two of you walk through the mall’s food court, eyeing the chick-fil-a counter but opting for chipotle instead.

you roll your eyes playfully, nudging her with your elbow with the arm that's carrying your aritzia bag. 

"i’ll miss your constant harassment, that’s for sure."

"constant harassment? i’m literally the best thing that ever happened to you!"

"okay, sure," you laugh. 

honestly, yasmeen has been a huge part of your life for the past few years. she was the first person you clicked with back in high school, and now it feels weird to think about going through the next few years without her by your side. 

you’re trying not to dwell on it, though. you’ll still have facetime, you tell yourself. 

after grabbing and eating your rice bowls, you both head toward the stores. it’s one of those days where everything feels easy—there’s no pressure to buy anything. you did though obviously.

at one point, yasmeen holds up a bright red kit with a smirk.

"ouu a bayern munich kittt. you should totally buy it, you will fit in with the munich community."

you tilt your head, laughing. 

"what is that? i don’t even watch soccer."

"woah! you better once you hit germany– i heard soccer to them is like how the nfl is to americans."

you shake your head but decide to try it on anyway. yasmeen snaps a photo and tells you that you look like you’re about to cheer for some random german soccer team. 

you don’t think much of it and put the jersey back, moving on to the next store.

as the day goes on, you feel a strange mix of contentment and anticipation. it’s nice being here, with your best friend, doing normal things, but there’s a part of you that’s itching to start this next chapter of your life. 

it’s like you’re stuck in this weird limbo between your old life and the new one that’s waiting for you on the other side of the world.

eventually, after several hours of shopping, you realize your phone had died. you don’t even remember when it happened. 

you’ve been so caught up in the moment with yasmeen that you didn’t notice the battery draining.

"ugh, my phone’s dead," you say, glancing at the blank screen.

yasmeen shrugs. 

"mine’s still good. if anything, i can call you an uber."

"nah, i’m good. i’ll just charge it when i get home."

you both grab shoes at birkenstock before say your goodbyes outside the mall. yasmeen gives you an extra tight hug. 

"don’t get caught up with your european friends and forgetting about me, okay?"

"never," you promise.

when you get home, you immediately plug your phone into the charger and head straight to the shower. 

the hot water feels good against your skin, washing away the stress of the day. you’ve got so much on your mind—packing, travel plans, what your life is going to look like in a few weeks—but right now, standing under the stream of water, you feel calm. 

you let your thoughts drift away and focus on the simple rhythm of the water hitting your shoulders.

when you finally get out of the shower, you feel refreshed, like maybe you can tackle all the things on your to-do list without getting overwhelmed.

when you grab your phone and take it off of your charger, you notice something strange. 

it’s blowing up with notifications. you squint at the screen, trying to make sense of what’s happening. 

there’s a new group chat, and it’s filled with numbers you don’t recognize.

confused, you open the messages. the chat is already deep into a conversation about something, but none of it makes sense to you.

+49 176 1234567: pernille you’re AMAZING wtf was that!!!!????? 

+49 171 7654321: arsenals defense during this match had nothing on you or syd holy shit

your brows furrow. arsenal? match? what are they talking about? you know absolutely nothing about this conversation. 

hell, you’re not even sure what country arsenal plays for. the confusion only grows as you scroll up to see more of the conversation.

you: hi?

almost immediately, your message is met with a flood of responses.

+49 171 7654321: giulia! finally! where have you been?

+49 178 1233567: we’ve been trying to reach all day, i know we had no training but are you okay?

your heart skips a beat. giulia? who the hell is giulia? you’ve definitely never gone by that name.

you: uh, i think you’ve got the wrong number. i’m not giulia.

for a moment, the chat goes silent. you stare at your phone, wondering if you should just leave the group.

before you can, a new message pops up.

+49 176 1234567: wait, what?

+49 171 7654321: did we add the wrong number again?

+49 171 11122222: sydney, you’re an idiot. you added the wrong number!

there’s a pause before a new number is added to the group.

+49 152 3334444: you guys finally added me.

you assume this is the real giulia. still, no one seems to be kicking you out of the chat, and before you know it, the conversation picks up again.

+49 176 1234567: giulia, you missed our whole debate about the arsenal match.

+49 171 7654321: yeah, and we were saying bayern needs to keep it up for juventus.

you stare at your phone, more confused than ever. arsenal, bayern… these are clearly soccer teams, but why are they talking to you? you don’t even watch soccer. eventually, you decide to chime in.

you: um?? i have no idea what any of you are talking about. 

this time, the chat explodes with messages.

+49 171 7654321: what?!

+49 176 1234567: how do you not know bayern munich?

+49 175 7778888: do you watch fusball? 

+49 171 1112222: okay, who are you?

+44 177 9900000: ok guys that makes me feel better about this not being a crazy fan.

+49 170 4479173: i agree with georgia 

you explain your situation—that you’re a 21-year-old college student from virginia, and you somehow got added to this group chat by mistake. 

you tell them about your upcoming move to munich for your study abroad program, hoping to clear up the confusion.

+49 152 3334444: wait… you’re moving to munich? like… munich, germany?

+49 171 7654321: that’s insane omg we all live in munich.

+44 171 9900000: wtffff 

+49 176 1234567: this is such a weird coincidence.

you blink at your screen. this is getting stranger by the second. what are the odds that you’d get added to a random group chat full of people who live in the exact city you’re about to move to?

+49 171 1112222: okay, but how do we know you’re not some creepy dude pretending to be a girl?

+49 172 4567389: LMAO LENA 

+57 170 9193831: wait… 

you roll your eyes at the suspicion but understand why they might be cautious. so, you send them your instagram handle to prove you’re real. 

you: ew, i am not some old dude. @ y/n.l/n is my insta, just me out for yourselves.

after a few minutes, messages start pouring in again.

+49 152 3334444: yep, she’s legit.

+49 176 1234567: okay, cool. she seems sweet.

+49 171 9718193: guys laura would love her photography skills

you: who’s laura

+49 171 9900000: someone from the german national team. she plays in frankfurt

+44 177 9900000: this is so cool idky why.. usually i’d be freaked out

a few new followers pop up on your instagram notifications, and you open the app to check. you almost drop your phone when you see that some of the accounts following you are verified. 

*sydneylohmann is now following you*

and another 

*georgiastanway is now following you* 

*tuvahansen is now following you* 

and more.. 

*leaschuller is now following you* 

*lenaoberdorf is now following you* 

*kathi.ng is now following you* 

*pharder10 is now following you*

*guzman013_ is now following you* 

*sarahzadrazil25 is now following you* 

now it seems like the whole team is catching on.. 

*buehlklara is now following you* 

*magdalenaeriksson26 is now following you* 

*magou_doucoure is now following you* 

*dahmannlinda is now following you* 

it's until you do a quick google search that you realize who they are.

they’re professional soccer players.

you sit there, staring at your phone, completely in shock. you’ve somehow stumbled into a group chat full of actual women’s soccer players. 

trying to play it cool, you decide to treat them like normal people.

after all, you don’t even know anything about soccer, so it’s not like you’re going to fan out over them.

you: so, what are your names? i want to save your numbers because all of the unsaved numbers are overwhelming haha 

they go around introducing themselves, and you quickly type their names into your phone, saving each number under the name they give you.

+49 152 3334444: i’m giulia

+49 171 7654321: sydney

+44 177 9900000: georgia s 

+49 179 7777777: lea 

+57 170 9193831: ana g. there’s two ana’s so i’d add the last name letter to tell the difference 💜

it’s surreal, somehow you find yourself chatting with them like they’re any other group of girls you’d meet in a random group chat. 

they even start to warm up to you after a few days, especially after you tell them more about your move to munich. 

a few of them offer to show you around the city once you get there.

georgia: honestly, munich’s great. you’re going to love it.

sydney: we can help you find all the best spots.

lena: i can definitely ☺️

lea: lena you just moved here from wolfsburg.. 

lena: lea shushhhh 🙄

pernille: ??? 

you smile at your phone, feeling a little less nervous about the move. it’s strange, but you’re actually starting to look forward to meeting these girls in person. 

sure, they’re professional soccer players, but they’re also just… normal people. and they seem to like you.

as the chat continues, you get the sense that they trust you. maybe it’s because of your instagram or the way you’ve been honest with them from the start, but whatever it is, they don’t seem to mind that you accidentally got added to their group. 

in fact, they seem to enjoy having you around.

klara: you seem chill. i know its been a week since you’ve been added but do you promise to keep our secrets safe? 

lena: ^

you: i promise. i like you guys! 

it’s not every day you accidentally make friends with a group of famous athletes, but somehow, that’s exactly what’s happened. 

as strange as it is, you’re kind of excited about it.

part two here

[mxstellatayte]

fuck me up, florida.

warnings: angst for the majority of it, sex at the end though, legal use of alcohol (reader and logan are both 23,) mentions of gunshot wounds, minor character death, based on a taylor swift song, childhood (middle/high school) friends to lovers, idiots in love, "you came" "you called," reader is half mexican (mom's side), slightly inaccurate bc i know carola wasn't at the miami gp but just go with it for the plot, reader's last name is rodriguez,

author's note: y'all i apologize if any of the spanish grammar is a little weird. my spanish is rusty, pls don't hate me for it

logan sargeant x female reader

i need to forget so

tuesday, april 30th.

you scan your ticket, the screen displaying your name and seat number. 12A. at least it'll be easy to sleep, you think.

after shoving your suitcase above your seat, you shuffle your way to the window and buckle yourself in.

are you really doing this? flying a couple thousand miles to visit your childhood best friend who, up until recently, had you convinced that his newfound fame that he'd gathered by announcing his enrollment in the williams driver's academy made him too good for you.

the only thing that made you think otherwise was the instagram dm he'd sent you five weeks prior, asking if you'd be able to make it to the miami grand prix. instead of a simple yes or no, you responded with the heaviest three words you've ever seen in order.

can we call?

logan picked up on the second ring.

"hey."

"hey."

"how's texas?"

you smile. "hot. sunny. flat. beachless."

"so... it's good?" you hate that you can still picture his facial expressions even after not seeing him for years except for on tv.

"'s okay, but it's not home, y'know?"

"definitely. it doesn't matter how much i decorate my place in england, it's never florida."

"nothing besides florida is ever florida," you sigh, looking out the window of your apartment. "how's the season been?" you don't exactly know why you're asking. you know exactly how his season's gone. you keep every single detail of every single race weekend meticulously catalogued in a journal that you take everywhere with you. no matter what, you've stayed up late or woken up early to watch every race, as if your hopeful energy would make its way across the world to him in time.

"honestly? it's been pretty shit. the car handles really badly and wasn't really even ready for the first few hours of testing in bahrain. i can't get it to perform and maybe that's just because i haven't linked with the car yet, but it still really sucks."

you sigh, hoping logan can't tell how disappointed you are with his team and engineers. "you need a better team, lo."

"i know." there's silence between you for a few moments, and every second that passes makes it grow heavier on your chest. "will you come to miami?"

there it is. the reason you called him.

"i don't know, lo. don't get me wrong, i'd love to, but it's really short notice and i don't know if i could afford the trip. i might be able to make it to austin, but i'll need the time to save the money for the trip."

"i'll fly you out," logan immediately says, his tone almost desperate. longing. "i'll pay for your flight, your hotel, everything. please?"

that last word hit you like a punch in the gut. you only had one more reason to not go and you weren't about to tell him that reason. it was a shitty excuse anyways.

you're not about to tell him that the reason you moved to texas was to give him the space he needed to be able to succeed in his career and for you to succeed in yours.

take me to florida

you're jolted awake by the force of the plane landing, if you can call the awkward limbo you were stuck in sleep. immediately, your stomach twists with anxiety. logan had offered to pick you up from the airport, but you refused.

"i'll just take an uber," you'd said. "i'm gonna want to relax a bit after the flight, y'know?"

his only trade-off? you met him for dinner. simple enough, right?

in theory.

now, standing in front of the full-length mirror in your hotel room, you debate between a floral sundress and a pair of denim shorts, a tank top, and a white button-up t-shirt with a colorful inkblot pattern.

you decide on the sundress.

fifteen minutes later, you're pushing earrings through your piercings, silver abstract shapes you'd bought on a trip to europe with your mother. you have to leave, but the situation you're in sucks. your hair won't sit right on your head, either being too frizzy from the humidity or losing any and all volume, and your makeup just doesn't seem like it'll last in the miami heat.

fuck it.

who are you dressing for, anyways?

logan's seen you at your absolute worst. he was the only one you let yourself cry in front of after your father died. he was the one that held you for what seemed like hours while you sobbed into his chest and he told you that none of it was your fault- that you never could have known that, when you hugged him before he left for the police station, told him you loved him, and slipped a note into his lunch box, the next time you would see him, he would be laying in a casket. he was the only one that could make you smile in the weeks following his funeral, dropping his entire schedule if you simply sent him a text that said "can you come over?"

the restaurant logan found isn't too far from your hotel, so you ultimately decide to walk. your walk is over before you're able to process that it even started and you're taking out your earbuds and putting them in your bag, taking out your phone instead to text logan.

i'm here.

i've got some regrets

were you always this breathtakingly beautiful?

logan's phone buzzes in his front pocket, but he knows it's you texting him. he doesn't even bother taking it out of his pocket before standing up from his seat at the bar and walking over to you, and when you see him, your smile almost makes his heart melt.

"hey," he says, and he hopes his voice doesn't waver from how nervous he is.

"hey. i missed you," you respond, dodging the hand he holds out and going in for a hug. "i've known you since middle school, logan, i'm not shaking your hand."

your arms around him and your body pressed against his almost makes logan short circuit. thankfully, he's able to regain control of his brain and hug you back, hopefully before you realize he isn't hugging you back.

when you pull back, the hug seeming way too brief for logan's preference, you're looking up and smiling with a sparkle in your eyes that makes him regret not making enough time for you. "thanks for bringing me out here."

"thanks for coming. do you want a drink?"

"sure. do you have a table yet?"

"i was waiting for you."

"in that case, lead the way." you gesture towards the restaurant, and logan shows you to a booth in the corner. soon enough, a waiter comes over to you and sets down two glasses of water and two menus.

"welcome in, y'all. do we need a bit of time to look at the menu or do we know what we want to get started?" his southern drawl is thick, and it reminds you of texas. but you're in florida now.

"i think we'll look at the menu for a minute, thanks," logan says, and the waiter nods and walks away. as you open the menu and begin looking, logan points out something you might like and you do the same for him. conversation begins to flow freely between you, and it reminds you of the times in high school when you would go out with friends.

eventually, you decide on a plate of nachos and logan gets a plate of wings. as you wait for your food, you catch up on everything: your move to texas, logan's racing career, your work volunteering with the austin philharmonic, his homesickness from living in england, and everything in between. you crack stupid jokes, share bites of food, and steal sips of each other's drinks.

it's like old times.

i'll bury them in florida

on wednesday, you and logan drive up to visit your father's headstone. it's difficult. it's only the third time you've visited him since he was buried three years ago. the first time you visited him was a year after he died. even a year later, you still carried so much anger and hatred towards the doctors and nurses that were operating on him, trying desperately to save his life after two bullets hit him- one in his leg, one in his torso.

he died on the table.

the second time was just a few months after, and you were still wearing your cap, gown, and stole from your graduation ceremony. by then, you had been able to forgive the doctors and had graduated in the top 10% of your class. four years of hell had finally rewarded you with a degree in instrumental performance and an internship at the south florida symphony orchestra.

now, the third time, you have a picnic blanket and lunch packed into the backseat of logan's car, the windows are rolled down, and your favorite playlist is shuffled on the aux. it's a beautiful day, too; it isn't too hot (even with the humidity,) there's a gentle breeze in the air, and clouds occasionally cover the sun. when logan pulls into the parking lot of the cemetery and you sling your tote bag full of food over your shoulder, your hands start shaking.

of course, logan notices.

his hand slides into your own, and you look up at him. his eyes meet yours and you smile. "thank you for coming with me," you say.

"of course. i didn't want you to have to do this alone."

you look back at the gate into the cemetery, the black bars menacingly sleek and very, very terrifying. you chew your lower lip in anxiety. "i don't know if i can do it, logan."

"i'm here with you. i know you. you're strong. you aren't the kind of person to let a gate scare you." you laugh lightly, looking down at the ground. the gravel of the parking lot, your scuffed, beat-up high top purple converse, and logan's nike dunks make up what you have to describe as a perfect picture. your phone is in your free hand before you know it, and you're lining up the shot. "still into photography, huh?"

"yep. i have some cameras in my suitcase at the hotel." when you pocket your phone and look back up at him, logan's heart melts. the shine in your eyes and the passion in your smile is enough to soften anyone's heart, but for him, as someone who's known you for years and has been there for you through thick and thin, it touches him in such a special way. "i'm hoping to get some good photos of the races. but enough delaying. let's go visit my dad."

the creak of the gates opening makes your ears bleed, and you laugh at how logan is making the exact same face as you in reaction to such a shrill sound. despite only having visited his headstone twice before, you remember exactly where in the cemetery it is and are able to find it within five minutes.

"hi, dad," you begin, your voice already wavering just the slightest and tears beginning to well in your eyes. logan's hand squeezes yours, though, and you're reminded that he's right there. he always will be. you take a deep breath and continue. "i miss you. we all do. i know i haven't visited you in a while, and i'm sorry about that. i really do have to come stop by every now and then. i moved to austin and have a volunteering gig with the austin philharmonic at almost every show and i have a job at a company that helps students with learning disabilities learn instruments. it's really fun." you pause to wipe the tears off of your cheeks, your nose beginning to drip. "sam is in his junior year of college, and he's majoring in engineering. he flew the coop, but he still comes home for the summers. he, uh, he actually got in to c.u. boulder, like he always talked about. that kid was always thinking about college, even in middle school.

"i'm actually here with logan, too, if you hadn't noticed. do you, uh, do you want to fill him in on what's going on with you, or should i keep going?"

"whatever you prefer."

"okay, i'm going to keep talking, because i think if i don't, i'm going to completely break down. logan finally signed with williams to drive on their formula 1 team last year, like i always said he would. i'm really proud of him and really regret not telling him that more, and now that i'm saying it out loud i'm promising both you and him that i'll tell him that more often. the race this weekend is actually here, in florida. miami, specifically. it's always a celebrity shit show that no one really wants to see, but it's the main opportunity for the celebrity sponsors to actually go to a race.

"what else has been going on? oh, mom is still a therapist. i can't tell you much about that because of hipaa, but she always comes home saying that she's glad that she could help someone. i'm gonna have dinner with her tomorrow night, and then i'm going back into miami to watch logan's practice sessions."

you pause your rambling, thinking about what there is to say next, but your thought is interrupted by your stomach grumbling. loud. you and logan laugh just as loudly, the sound echoing through the grass field and stone gravesites. "oh, yeah, that's another thing. we brought lunch. i also got you pink tulips, because i know they're your favorite." you delicately rest the bouquet on your father's headstone as you sit down, then pull out the different plastic containers filled with food you'd stolen from the williams hospitality. "you'd be proud of me, dad. i smuggled this entire picnic out of the wiliams motorhome without a hiccup. robin hood style."

logan laughs, and you turn to him. he's mirrored your position, sitting cross-legged on the grass. "apple?"

"nah, i'm gonna start with my sandwich. i did grab you some of the salt and vinegar chips i know you like."

the look logan gives you can only be described as pure adoration. "you," he says, pointing a finger at you in an incredibly sassy manner, "are an absolute goddess."

"i know," you respond cheekily, tossing some hair over your shoulder.

the banter between the two of you continues through your picnic, laughter and smiles erasing the dried tracks of tears on your cheeks and on logan's. you're almost able to forget where you are.

tell me i'm despicable

almost two hours later, the two of you are laying in a nearby park underneath a tree, peacefully observing the clouds that pass overhead and talking even more about any topic that comes to your mind. the question that's been gnawing at you since your plane landed in miami eventually bubbles to the surface, and it tumbles past your lips before you can stop it.

"did you ever wonder why i moved to texas?" you look to your left where logan rests, but he keeps looking up at the sky. you mirror him.

"i always assumed it was just because you needed a change of scenery. after everything that happened and your music career taking off, it would make sense that you would relocate to somewhere better suited for you."

"that's the thing, though. if i'm being entirely honest with you, lo, i hate texas. i hate the whole state. i hate how hot it is all the time without even being humid, i hate not being able to go to the beach. i hate how dry it is. i hate how flat it is. i hate the monotony of it. i hate not being here."

logan hesitates for a moment before speaking, and it's the longest moment you've ever experienced. "why did you move to austin, then?"

when he looks over at you, you're chewing your lower lip. it's a nervous tic, logan's noticed. he's not even sure if you know you do it. "honestly? i thought you moved on from our friendship. i thought everything with f1 suddenly got so big and important and famous that maybe i wasn't... enough? i thought that being a police officer's daughter from the same town as you that was studying to teach people how to understand and play music maybe just wasn't cool enough to be friends with a world-renowned formula 1 driver."

logan's heart almost shatters when he hears the weakness in your voice. you sound so broken and so alone. he knew that, when you lost your father, you isolated yourself from a lot of people, even your best friend from high school and through your first year of college. he was the only person outside of your immediate family that you spent a decent amount of time with, but when he was admitted to the driver's academy he had to move to england. he abandoned you.

"i didn't. i never forgot about you. sometimes i still look through the photos we have together because i miss you that much."

you sit up, tears pricking your eyes for the second time that day. "really?"

"yeah. maybe once a week?"

when you look down at logan, you're suddenly starstruck. you can't help but notice all of his little features that you wouldn't see if you didn't know to look for them. his freckles that are so light you'd have to squint to see them if you didn't know them like the back of your hand. the mole on his chin that he'd always been self-conscious about but you've always seen it as beautiful. the lines from where his eyes crinkle when he smiles. the annoyingly perfect flop of his hair that he's styled almost the exact same way since you started high school together. an urge you haven't felt in years suddenly bubbles, white-hot in the pit of your stomach, and it's boiling over before you can stop it. your eyes are closed and your lips are on his. finally. after years of wanting, of stares that lasted just a bit too long to be just friendly, of flushed faces and nervous excuses, you're finally kissing him.

but he's not kissing you back.

you pull back immediately, panicked that you read something wrong. you turn away, hiding your face in your hands out of shame. "shit, logan, i'm so sorry. i thought-"

"kiss me again." logan sits up, and when you turn around, the look he's giving you can only be described as completely and entirely fucked. you don't question his statement, just lean forward, placing your lips on his, and letting yourself melt. he moans softly into the kiss, his right arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you impossibly closer. when you pull away and open your eyes, your breath catches in your throat. he looks beautiful. his eyes remain closed, but when they flutter open, you see colors in them that you've never seen before. sure, you've always seen the darker rim of blue that outlines his irises, but now that you're so close to him, you can see the flecks of green and grey in them. it's the most stunning thing you've ever seen.

eventually, you break the silence between the two of you. "i've wanted to kiss you for so long," you whisper, so quiet you're not sure logan heard it.

but he did.

"me, too," he says, and after a beat of silence between you two, you both burst out laughing. the laugh he hears from you is the pure, bright laugh that logan's missed so dearly, the laugh that you only really let him hear. the laugh that has tears in your eyes and makes you snort because you're laughing so hard you can't even breathe properly.

eventually, when you're able to calm down, your head resting on logan's shoulder, your hand holding his, you're able to process what just happened. you just hope logan is processing it, too.

"we just kissed."

"yes. we did."

"how long have you held out on me?"

"since christmas of sophomore year. when you made me the chevron bracelet with my favorite colors."

you laugh, then lift your head to look at him. "i fell for you in october of that year. when you convinced your mom to drive two and a half hours for the marching band state finals. just so you could be there with me."

"god, we're idiots," logan laughs. you can't help but lean forward and press another kiss to his lips, lingering there and just breathing him in.

existing.

say it's unforgivable

the next two days fly by. thursday, you spend the day with your mother. she asks all sorts of questions as if she doesn't know the answers, and you answer each one with a smile on your face. when she asks about logan, you smile sheepishly. she figures out what the smile means.

"took you two long enough."

normally you'd still be in bed at 9:30 am on a friday, but today, you walk into the miami paddock clutching logan's hand for dear life. your neon green pass hangs from your neck, a white williams cap atop your head. you can't help but feel out of place, but someone calls logan's name and you both turn. your stomach drops when you see who's called his name. his hair is styled similarly to logan's, and he sports a papaya polo.

you'd know him anywhere. it's oscar piastri.

you're standing there a bit awkwardly as logan greets his friend, but your heart stops when oscar turns to you. "oscar, this is my girlfriend." he introduces you by your name to the mclaren driver and you wipe your hands on your denim shorts before shaking his hand firmly, exchanging "nice to meet you"s. the three of you chat for a few minutes before oscar is summoned by his pr manager.

"girlfriend, huh?" you look up at logan with a smile on your face, lacing his fingers with yours.

"i didn't mean to overstep, but i kind of assumed that's what this is now. is it?" he looks a bit nervous asking that, and if you thought your love for him couldn't grow any more, you thought wrong.

"that's absolutely what we are, lo. you're my boyfriend. i'm your girlfriend." you can tell just how hard logan's trying to not let the smile on his face show just how happy he is to hear you say that, and you stand on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips briefly. "you have a prep meeting to get to, don't you?"

"i do. come with me, though. i need to introduce you to alex and lily. she can show you around."

"sounds like a plan. i need to learn how to do all of..." you gesture around you, the white tents and media carts all seeming suddenly too intimidating. "...this."

logan laughs, placing a hand on the small of your back to guide you towards the williams hospitality. when you're next to him, though, despite the cameras around you and your proximity to some of the world's biggest stars, you feel safe and protected.

after meeting logan's teammate and the thai driver's girlfriend, who you quickly realize is one of the sweetest people you've ever had the pleasure of meeting, you're shown around the williams hospitality and, eventually, the paddock. lily introduces you to the other drivers' wives and girlfriends that have made it to the weekend, and when you hear a certain last name, your ears perk up.

"martinez? is she latina?"

"yeah," kika, pierre's girlfriend, says. "she's checo's wife. i'm pretty sure she's in the red bull hospitality right now, though."

"ah, speak of the devil," lily says. you see carola walking up to the five of you, alexandra ("please, honey, call me alex," she'd said, bringing you in for a kiss on your cheek,) having walked away to get a drink and escape into the sweet air conditioning. "carola, there's a new couple on the paddock."

"you're kidding," the latina answers, her accent apparent. "who?"

"logan found himself a girlfriend. allow me to introduce her." lily turns to you and introduces you by your full name, last name and all. it seems that carola has a similar reaction to your last name as you did to hers, and her head tilts to the side.

"ya no eres la única mexicana aquí," you say, and her eyebrows raise. (you aren't the only mexican here anymore.)

"hablas español, también?" (you speak spanish, too?) when you nod, her smile brightens. "hay, chica, creo que nosotras dos nos vamos a llevar muy bien." (oh, girl, i think we're going to get along very well.)

on saturday, you find yourself back in the williams motorhome, except this time, you wear a second badge, the neon green lanyard reading grid access in bold black lettering. like the day before, you clutch logan's hand for your own comfort until, much to your dismay, he's summoned for driver duties. you place a quick kiss on his cheek, and when you pull back, you aren't sure if the flush on his cheeks is from the affection or the miami heat. probably both.

"in case i don't see you before sprint. for luck."

"oh, you'll be in the garage. that's what this pass is for," logan says, holding your second badge in front of your face. "lily will show you where to go. i'll take a kiss anyways, though." you smile, stand on your toes, and kiss him, pulling back before he can wrap an arm around your waist. (that was a trick he very much enjoyed, as you'd learned the night before. there was something in him that needed you as close to him as possible, and it covered every nerve ending in your body in liquid fire.)

"off you go. you need to get race ready. i'll see you before you go out on the grid. don't worry." you gently shove him away with a smile, and you'd stare at him longer if your ankles weren't suddenly being attacked. you look down and squeal. "hi, leo! did your dad let you run free?" you squat down and scratch the mini daschund behind his disproportionally large ears, and he barks excitedly.

someone curses in french to your right, and you look up from the little golden ball of energy to see none other than charles leclerc frantically searching around. leo barks again, and the monégasque whips around, then locks eyes on you first, then his dog.

"merde, leo. you have too much energy for it being this early in the morning," he laughs as he walks over to you.

"i apologize, it appears i've unintentionally kidnapped your dog." you stand, and leo jumps at your calves again.

"ah, no harm, no foul," charles replies, picking up his dog and holding him close to his chest. "i will say, though, you look strangely familiar. have we met? my name is charles."

"we have not." you extend your hand and offer your name, and, when charles' eyebrows furrow and his head tilts in confusion, you realize that means nothing to him. "i'm logan's girlfriend."

"ah! yes, of course! he has a photo of the two of you at your high school graduation in his wallet. that's where i knew you from. well, it's nice to meet you!" that was news to you. logan has a picture of you in his wallet? either way, you just casually met one of the most famous people in the world like it was a standard tuesday.

if this is what i signed up for by being logan's girlfriend, then it is absolutely wild.

you're able to catch another good luck kiss with logan as he's almost fully suited up, and fuck, does he look good. his fireproof suit hangs low on his hips, the arms tied together in front of him. dark blue is a good color on him, and his facial hair is grown out in just the slightest. you can't lie, he looks hot as hell.

you cross your legs in an attempt to curb the heat that creeps down your tummy and between them. it doesn't work.

you amend it that night in logan's hotel room following his p10 in the sprint.

on sunday, you try to avoid thinking about the night before as you follow the same routine as the two days before- arriving early in the day, checking in at the williams motorhome, and then killing time until the driver's parade at 2:00 PM. you spend time with your new group of friends, spending the three remaining hours before the parade in the paddock club. rebecca, carlos' girlfriend, snickers at your shocked face when you see some of your idols and favorite celebrities casually walking around, gladly taking some photos for you as you're practically buzzing with excitement.

after the driver's parade, it's a whirlwind. you're swept back into the williams garage and find logan's driver's room relatively easily thanks to the help of some of the engineers and mechanics, but one of them stops you before you can venture too far into the depths of the hallways.

"could you tell him we have the pre-race strategy meeting in twenty minutes?"

"yeah, for sure." as you approach logan's door, you have to bite down on your lower lip to stifle the grin that wants to split your face. you knock on his door, and when he opens it, you know something's wrong. "lo, are you okay?" his eyes are red and his hand shakes on the doorknob. instead of a verbal response, he just opens the door a bit further to let you in, and, as soon as it shuts behind you, he sobs, and your heart shatters.

"i'm so scared. i'm so scared that something's going to happen and i'm going to let all of these people down and-" you gather him into your arms and he cries into the crook of your neck, your williams crewneck shirt now damp with his tears. you couldn't care less.

"you're going to do amazing, logie. i know you will." with your arms wrapped around him, it's almost like a weighted blanket of safety has encompassed him, and his sobs slow, his breaths growing deeper and more even. you continue murmuring words of confidence into his shoulder, and not a single word you say is empty.

"hey. look at me." you lean back and gently cup his cheek with your right palm, and when his eyes meet yours, you know that he needed to cry that one out. "do you feel a little bit better?" logan nods, tilting his head ever so slightly to kiss your palm, his own hand coming up to rest over yours. it's a cute, sappy, stupidly romantic moment that you from three weeks ago would've probably thought was the grossest thing known to mankind, but you can't help but bask in the moment. "is there anything i can do to help you feel better right now?" your voice is a soothing balm over logan's agitated nerves, and he slowly untangles himself from you and guides you over to the couch that's against the back wall, where he sits down and you curl up to his left side.

"can you just... talk? about anything?"

"are you seriously asking if me, the person with the most rampant adhd you've ever met, can talk about something? yes, logan, i absolutely can. what to talk about, though?"

as you talk, deciding to info dump about your favorite classical music piece, logan can't help but watch it unfold. he doesn't know jack shit about music theory, but listening to you ramble about something you're passionate about brings him so much peace. you're disturbed about fifteen minutes later by a knock at the door, promptly followed by a disembodied voice telling logan that it was time for the strategy meeting.

"aw, shit," he says, leaning his head back and rubbing at his eyes. "i have that to go to now."

"yeah, sorry. i was supposed to tell you about that but we had a bigger problem on our hands." your voice is sheepish now that your info dump has been cut short, but logan leans over to you and kisses you, soft and slow, just like the first time he kissed you properly in the park. when he pulls away, he looks so much calmer than he was twenty minutes before. "is there anything else i can do?"

"go have some fun in the paddock. and please drink some water." you roll your eyes and stand, bringing him in for another hug before you slip out of the door.

almost two hours later, you're back in the williams garage with a guest headset over your ears. your stomach twists with nerves as the national anthem concludes. lily's hand is clasped with yours.

"the first lap is the worst. after that, you lose a lot of the anxiety," she assures you, noticing how you chew your lower lip.

"thanks." you pause for a moment, contemplating another question. "does it ever get easier? seeing how they go out there and drive like absolute maniacs for fun?"

"it does. it took me a couple of months, but after alex showed me all of the safety features in the car and in his fireproofs, it definitely helped."

it's the moment you've been dreading.

one red light.

two.

three.

four.

five.

and then none.

the engines roar and the race has begun. lily didn't lie to you- the first lap is excruciatingly long, but when everyone's completed their first loop around the circuit, you let yourself breathe. your eyes are trained on the screen above you, and the laps are flying by so quickly that you barely process that the race is nearly halfway over.

but then logan's car is in the wall. fuck.

as you watch the replay of his crash, you can feel white-hot rage burning in your body. after the race stewards only declare a ten-second penalty and two super license points, though, you're fuming. "two penalty points and a ten-second penalty? magnussen caused logan's race to end, and they just let him go? they just forgive him and move on? how can he get away with that? this is bullshit!"

what a crash, what a rush

the first person logan looks for when he walks back into the williams garage, his visor still low over his eyes in shame, is you. when you see him walking towards the room where you and lily watch the race, you tear the headset off of your ears and run to him. the feeling of his arms wrapping around your shoulders and hearing his heartbeat even through your musician's earplugs soothes your agitated nerves. he's okay. he's alive. he isn't hurt. "thank fuck you're okay," you say, even though he definitely can't hear you through his helmet and over the roar of passing engines. when you pull away, you press a kiss to his knuckles and hope he understands how much love you're trying to convey through such a small gesture.

fuck me up, florida!

one of logan's best friends on the grid is oscar. oscar's teammate got his maiden win after almost five years of waiting in miami.

like any sensible person, you celebrate with him.

you have no idea what the name of the club is, much less how many drinks you've had so far, but what you do know is that lando has commandeered the dj station and logan is pressed against your back, his hands resting on your hips. the air is hot and thick, your heartbeat pounds in your head. the opening notes of bad bunny's tití me preguntó begin playing through the massive speakers, and you shoot a glare up to lando that he doesn't see, his focus instead on the equipment in front of him. when the bass hits, though, you let all apprehensiveness go and your genetics take the reins. your hips sway and swing to the beat, your hands wander up and down your torso, and logan simply follows your lead. it takes you a moment to realize that, if you want to get a rise out of him, you're going to have to spin around and face him.

with your hips swaying against his and how unbearably beautiful you look in the dim light, your skin glowing with sweat and your hair up in a high ponytail, logan can't help but lean down and kiss you when you finally turn around. you reciprocate gladly, your right leg slotting between both of his, and...

oh.

oh.

he's hard.

you pull away slightly, barely an inch between your lips. "slow your roll there, tiger."

"i don't want to." fire zips down your spine at the sound of his voice, low and breathy and so, so desperate. "need to fuck you."

"should we get outta here, then?"

"i thought you'd never ask." you smile and kiss him quickly, then take his hand and weave your way through the crowded dance floor. as the miami night air hits your face, you immediately feel cooler. you sigh, taking a moment to breathe and regulate your heart rate and body temperature, but you can't breathe for that long before logan wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you back against him and kissing your neck. you laugh, running your hands along his forearms.

"logan, not here. the hotel is two blocks away."

"i can't help it, baby, you just look so pretty," he hums, kissing the back of your neck once more before pulling away and stepping around to face you. "you look so pretty, and you're mine."

his possessiveness of you makes more heat zip down your spine, and you almost drool at how he's looking at you. his eyes, normally a beautiful mix between the blues of the sky and sea, ar"e almost completely dark, only a small sliver of his irises remaining, and the muscles in his jaw tick. "hotel. now."

by the time you reach the door to logan's hotel room, you're both out of breath from how hard he kissed you in the elevator and the arousal and need between your legs won't be stopped unless he replaces it. you stumble through the door and try to kiss logan again, matching the vigor he showed you in the elevator, but he stops you. "wanna take my time with you tonight."

"yeah?" you raise an eyebrow and inspect his face. the blinds are open but no lights are on, so all you can see is the side of his face that's illuminated by the lights from the streets of miami. it's an unusually beautiful sight.

"yeah. nothing about what i'm about to do to you is going to be fast. i'm gonna make you feel good tonight. how's that sound?"

"that sounds amazing, logan." you lean forward and kiss him gently, your lips slotting together as if you were made for each other. who knows, maybe you were. the next five minutes are a blur, but before you know it, you're laying back against the pillows on logan's bed and his face is buried between your thighs, his tongue working magic on your clit. the air in the hotel room is filled with your moans and the sounds of logan devouring you like a man starved, and it's the most beautiful mix of sounds you've ever heard. when he flicks his tongue oh-so-perfectly against your entrance, his nose brushing over your clit, you moan and pull his hair hard, which, in turn, makes him moan against you.

you aren't sure how much time passes or how many orgasms logan pulls from you with just his tongue and his fingers, but when you feel completely and entirely spent, your chest heaving and your hairline sparkling with tiny beads of sweat, you pull logan up to you by his shoulders, and he looks completely and entirely fucked. "need you inside of me," you mumble, wiping at the mix of spit and cum that coats the entire bottom half of his face with your thumbs. as if on instinct, you bring your hands to your mouth and lick them clean, and logan groans at the sight. "inside. now."

"as you wish, baby." logan's hands fumble at his boxers, the only item of clothing he was left wearing, and when he finally, finally pushes himself into you, you both moan. your hands scrabble at his shoulders and back, most definitely leaving red marks that will raise later, and his mouth latches onto your neck, biting down and then gently kissing over the red spot.

"nngh, lo-" your brain is short circuiting, logan's cock filling you up so perfectly and absolutely ruining you for any other man ever.

"yeah? you okay, baby?" he pulls back from your neck and scans your face for any sign of discomfort of pain, his sky blue eyes searching your own. the feeling of safety you get from just that one action is almost enough to make you sob from how good you feel because of him, both physically and emotionally.

"feels so good, lo. j'st... move, please."

"you sure? i don't wanna hurt you."

"positive. now please." you reach a hand up and pull him down towards you by the back of his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair and pulling hard. "fuck me properly." without wasting a second, logan reaches a hand down and hooks it under your left thigh, bringing your leg up to rest around his waist, then pulling back and thrusting back in fast. the moan that rips itself from your throat is sinful, and your breath is being punched from your lungs at the downright brutal pace logan's setting. your right leg finds itself locking around his waist, only bringing him infinitely closer, and now, each time he thrusts back into you, your clit bumps against his pelvis. within minutes, you're embarrassingly close to cumming again, and through your garbled mumbling and clawing at his shoulders, he understands, reaching his right hand down to gently press against your clit.

"cum for me, baby, please, need to feel you cum for me just one more time, just let go, i've got you." it's logan's voice that ultimately sends you pummelling over the edge into an orgasm that makes your back arch and your vision fuzz at the edges, and you cum with a cry of his name. his hips slow and his fingers maintain a steady rhythm on your clit, but you can tell it's taking its toll on him. "where- where do you want me to cum?"

"i'm on the pill, lo. inside, baby, please," you whine, and it takes two more thrusts before logan groans, his hips coming to a shuddering halt as he cums inside of you. it's a beautiful sight, too- his eyes scrunched closed and his eyebrows drawn together, his hair a complete mess from where your hands had pulled at it. your hands run through his hair and along his back, and you patiently wait as he comes back to earth.

"hi," he murmurs, opening his eyes and smiling down at you.

"hi," you respond.

no other words need to be said. you know you love him, and he knows he loves you.

and you're both okay with that.

this took me way longer to write than i thought it would, but i absolutely love it! reminder that my asks and requests are open, and i always get excited when i get feedback! take care of urselves lovies <3