#it's nothing i'm just tired and anxious and scared and don't know how i'm gonna make it in life ✌️

[theflyingfeeling]

...🤧

[beanghostprincess]

Just thinking about ASL living together (modern AU) and Ace always trying to sneak Yamato inside their house without Sabo's knowledge because he doesn't want him to go all 'responsible older brother' on him. But the reason why he's always letting Yamato stay over is because his life at home is obviously... Not so good and he hates being there so he tries to spend most of his time outside. And Ace's heart aches every time he has to let him go, so he often lets him stay over. It becomes more constant and less of a 'sneaking in for a while' thing. And Sabo knows. Because of course, Sabo knows. Sabo always knows what's going on. One day he wakes up to see Yamato having breakfast and Yamato gets all anxious and not knowing what to say and trying to make an excuse (because that's what Ace told him to do if this ever happened) and Sabo is just like "Do you want anything else?" / "Huh? What?" / "I mean. You're eating cereal but we have more stuff in here, you know? At least one of us can cook. What do you want? I can make you pancakes." / "YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE PANCAKES???????" / "Oh my god, what has my brother been feeding you in here???" / "Mostly leftovers." / "Dude, why are you still with him?" / "Because I love him!" / "Yeah, no, me too. I guess love makes you do stupid things like dealing with a fucking moron like him. Anyway- Pancakes?"

And then Ace wakes up to find his brother and his boyfriend actually getting along and laughing and having breakfast together, and he needs a second to process everything because he's tired as fuck and maybe he's hallucinating. But that doesn't matter because the point is that he's fucked.

Ace: ..... Hi? Sabo: Hey :) Ace: What are you two doing? Yamato: WE'RE HAVING BREAKFAST :D Ace: Yes, babe, I can see that. Why are you here, Sabo? I thought you were- Sabo: I got home last night from college. We have some days off. Now, care to explain why you've been treating your cool boyfriend like a dog instead of giving him actual meals? Ace: I- You're not angry? Sabo: Oh, no. I am angry. Can't you see I'm angry? Ace: Sometimes you give me mixed signals and I'm never sure...? Sabo: I'm angry. That clear enough? Ace: Yes. Yamato: Okay, so Sabo is the only person that scares you. That's good to know. Ace: OH SHUT UP HE DOESN'T SCARE ME I AM NOT AFRAID OF MY BROTHER Sabo: Ace. Ace: ... I'm sorry.

Then, Sabo takes Ace to a more private place in the house and expects an explanation from him and Ace can't keep the secret anymore. So he tells him about Yamato's dad and how he is not a good person and he's always keeping him locked and making his life a living hell. And Ace is literally begging Sabo to let him stay for a while and Sabo is just staring at him like "Why would I not let him? How could I not? Do you see me as some kind of controlling demon around this house or what?" / "I mean, you're kind of scary sometimes-" / "Because you don't do shit around here and when I left for college I expected you to take care of Luffy. But I'm not making Yamato leave! What the fuck, Ace? You should've told me." / "I just- I just don't want him to go back there. He's, like, the nicest guy I've ever known. He's just so good, Sabo. I don't want him to-" / "Yeah. Yeah. He's the love of your life and you're gonna get married and have a fairytale ending or some bullshit like that." / "I did NOT say that." / "But you love him. I'm not letting him stay over if you're not serious about this. We barely have money for us three and we're lucky I can go to college." / "... I know. I know. I do. I do, you know. Like. The L word. You know I can't say it." / "Idiot." / "You're so mean to me. You don't do this shit to Luffy." / "Because at least Luffy has the decency of telling me when his friends are coming over." / "That's what you think." / "What? / "Nothing."

So, long story short, Yamato has the chance to actually live with them for a while if he wants to. Of course, he can't do it permanently. But he knows he has a home there if he ever feels like leaving his own house.

[cowgurrrl]

Hi! I love your writing. Ok so I was thinking about her chapter in baby Miller story, maybe baby Miller gets sick, nothing serious of course but it really shakes Joel up because, ya know trauma. All the feels please.

Oooooo I absolutely love this idea

Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author’s note: hello this ended up being so much more sad that I thought it was gonna be

Summary: “Yes, there is a place / where someone / loves you both before / and after they learn what you are.” Neil Hilborn, “Lake”, The Future [1.2k]

Warnings: mentions of deceased children and past relationships, PTSD, anxiety, Charlie girl has a cold (also Charlie is like 3-4 months in this so she’s still just a squish)

Joel is missing from his side of the bed when you reach for him, feeling his cold pillow instead of his chest. You jolt up and look around the room for any sign of him. His wedding band is still on the bedside table, and his shoes are still by the door, but there's no other indication that he's in the house. Panic settles over your bones as you stand up, throw the blankets off you, and walk down the hallway. You peek your head into Ellie's room first. Maybe she had a nightmare, and Joel fell asleep trying to calm her down, but she's alone and sleeping soundly. You look into Charlie's nursery and let out a relieved sigh when you see him sitting on the floor next to her crib. He doesn't look away from her sleeping form as you stand there, trying to regulate your heartbeat. 

There's no evidence of a massive blowout or a half-asleep attempt at feeding her a bottle. The rocking chair is undisturbed, and it doesn't even look like she's been shifted much from how you laid her to sleep. Still, he's sitting there with a hand on her back, watching her little chest move up and down. You don't enter the sacred space yet. Instead, you just watch them. 

Charlie's had a cold the past few days, and you knew kids got sick. You knew it wasn't your fault, and things like this happen. You knew it was part of growing up, socializing, and building her immune system. What you didn't know was how fucking terrifying it is when your baby gets sick after your kid has died. The second she got a fever, you rushed her to the hospital and cried the entire time the doctor examined her. Joel wasn't any better, fighting tears and anger at himself for letting her get sick but doing his best to keep it together for you. The doctor said it was nothing serious and gave you some antibiotics to give her, but that didn't stop you both from spiraling. That's probably why he's sitting on the cold floor of his daughter's nursery in the middle of the night.

Your heart aches at the worried, gentle look on his face. The man known for his brutality and hardness has melted into this soft, anxious, tender father in no time. You wish he could see himself this way, sitting in the soft light of his baby daughter's room just to measure her breaths. You finally let your feet carry you to where he's seated, careful not to make any sudden noise that could scare them, and sit down across from him. You let your tired body rest against her crib and listen to her light snoring. Joel takes a shaky breath, and you place a hand on his knee, looking into those sad brown eyes.

"She's okay," you whisper, watching his eyes fill his tears. He shakes his head and clenches his jaw. "Joel, look at her. She's breathing. She's safe. She's okay," He wipes a stray tear and rubs his thumb over her little shoulder blades. She smiles in her sleep at the movement, making his lips pull too. You trace delicate patterns into his skin and watch him take deep breaths to calm down. "She's right there. She's not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Don't," you shake your head. He takes your hand and squeezes like he's trying to convince himself that you're real. "Don't apologize. I know." 

"I'm so fuckin' scared." He whispers. You scoot close enough for your knees to touch and hold his hand with both of yours, kissing it. 

"It's just a cold. She doesn't have a fever anymore. She's gonna be okay."

"'S not just that. I don't... I don't know how to do this," he stumbles through his words, and you wait him out. You know to let him sort through his thoughts before he thinks, that beautiful mind of his trying to string together millions of ideas. "I keep waiting for somethin' to happen or somethin' to take her away, and I'm so scared that I'm gonna be too slow or too fuckin' deaf to stop it. I don't know how to keep her safe. I don't know how to do this after Sarah." He says, tears glistening in his eyes again.

"Honey, you're the best dad. Are you kidding me? You got out of bed to sit on her floor to make sure she was breathing. You're the first one up every time she even fusses. You're there every step of the way, and not just for her but for all of us. She adores you. I adore you," you say, holding his hand to your chest so he can feel your heartbeat. "You were meant to be these girls' dad, and they are so fucking lucky to have you. Sarah was so lucky to have you, and I know," your voice catches in your throat. "I know this is scary and way fucking harder than we thought it was gonna be. I know you're terrified because I'm terrified too, but we are more than capable of doing this because we're a team. You're my team, okay?" It feels like you're begging. The way you're clinging to him like you're trying to convince him to stay is all too familiar, and you're doing your best to keep yourself from crying. Joel notices and presses his forehead to yours, squeezing your hand.

No words need to be spoken as you sit together. Maybe that's the beauty of your relationship. He knows you feel the weight of Jane's body every time you pick Charlie up. You know he listens for her breaths because he heard Sarah's last. He knows you will always check for Ellie first because she was left in David's hands the first time you didn't. You know he sticks so close to Tommy on patrol because he watched a man shoot his brother. He knows you drive yourself crazy trying to be the perfect mother and partner because you weren't good enough to make Jane's dad stay. You know he does the same because he wasn't good enough to make Sarah's mom stay. You understand each other in a way you've never understood anyone else.

"You're my team," he echoes, and you nod. Tears fall from your eyes, and he lets go of you to wipe them away. "I'm not goin' anywhere. I'm right here, okay? I'm here with you, baby. I know." He kisses you, and you can taste his tears. 

Nothing can ever bring your daughters back to you. You can't go back and change anything. You can't stop the bomb from going off or the bullet from firing. All you can do is remember and cry when you get the tiniest slice of them back and keep living despite it all. And this. You can wrap yourself in each other and the beauty of being known by the people you love. So, when Ellie finds you two sleeping on Charlie's floor in the morning, she doesn't say anything. She doesn't try to wake you up or force you away from each other. Instead, she wraps a blanket over you and leaves, knowing what brought you there in the first place. 

[oh the joy and sadness that comes with being known]

[sttxsr]

SCARED OF LOSING YOU

carl grimes fic based off the song "death cup"

words that look like this are lyrics<3

you had never cried in front of carl. not when your mom had died, or when your best friend died. not when you had to shoot your own father. you cried, yes. but you'll be damned if you ever cry in front of him.

he's grown to be strong, yet you can't help but feel like he still needs you. despite being the same age, he would lean on you for help when he was younger.

so when ron tried to shoot him, it's not an exaggeration to say you were shaking. literally trembling. mostly because of all the adrenaline from the walkers around you, or hell, maybe it was just because you loved him too much to lose him.

in your head, you convinced yourself it would all be okay. you've been through too much, there's no way he died like this.

and you were right, the instant wave of relief when michonne plunged her katana through ron made you feel like you were about to see the gates of heaven.

you went to hug him, obviously, the boy was almost shot. you didn't know what you would do without him.

and then he turned around.

it was hard for a while. you couldn't sleep, had no appetite, and had an attitude with whoever tried talking to you. daryl was for sure worried for you, you've barely been home recently.

instead, you've stayed by carls side. begging in your head and out loud for him to be okay. you cried every night for a long while, until daryl walked in one night. you made sure keep your feelings inside after that.

you were there when he woke up. groggy and confused, asking you what's happened. you could feel the tears prickling your eyes when he noticed his eye was gone.

i think it's bout time that I warn you I might cry in front of you.

you tried your best to keep them away, comforting him as much as you could. but seeing him look at himself in the mirror, with this disgusted, and disappointed, and miserable face.. you couldn't help but feel like you could've done more.

tears roll down your cheeks silently, as much as you tried to hold them in, and you quickly wipe them away praying he doesn't see you as weak.

he stared at you, probably thinking about how you see him. a monster? but you'd never see him like that. even so, he's sure that's why you're crying. why you're avoiding eye contact.

and I don't want you to feel like I'm afraid of the truth.

before you knew it, you couldn't stop yourself, they were just flowing out. you mumbled an apology. maybe for crying, or maybe it's for not protecting him enough. whatever the reason, you kept apologizing, trying to wipe the tears away.

“why are you apologizing?” he grabs your arm softly, getting you out of your head for the moment. you think about it for a few seconds. and you really don't know.

“.. I thought you were seriously gonna die, carl” you say, your breathing hitching in-between words. you look down, trying to hide your face from his eye.

and I didn't want you to feel like it was all your fault.

you looked back up at him, his expression unreadable. it made you feel like he didn't care, even though you knew he wasn't like that.

after that day, he avoided you like the plague. it killed you, seeing him hide from you like that. whenever you did get a chance to look at his face, he had the same unreadable expression from before. the thoughts saying he hated you just kept creeping in. maybe he blames you for not helping enough?

but that doesn't mean that I wanted you to feel nothing at all.

you were tired of it. so you cornered him in his own home. Rick was gone, and he couldn't leave and hide away again.

“why do you keep avoiding me?” god knows you tried to seem angry at him, but it came out more like desperation.

“I'm not.” he denies. now that you're talking, you can see that the unreadable demeanor is fading off. he seems more anxious.

“you are! just tell me why.” once again, you can feel tears threatening to leave. he hesitates for a moment, but decides to give you the truth.

“I didn't want you to see me like this.. . he basically whispered the last part, and you couldn't understand. it took a few seconds for you to tell him to speak up. you didn't think you really wanted to know anymore, you just wanted your best friend back.

“i just..” he hesitates. it's cute, if you weren't focused on staying calm.

what do you want me to say when I can't tell you the truth?

“I thought you'd see me differently.” he's fidgeting with his hands, then tilts his hat down to cover his eyes.

“I was with you all day and all night! hell, I've seen your eye more than you have.”

please tell me how the fuck I'm supposed to deal with losing you.

he looked guilty. like he's regretted avoiding you. “I'm sorry.” he looks up at you slightly.

“just- stop ignoring me, please.” you ask him.

“it won't happen again, ma'am.” he gives you a small salute. you can tell he's trying to lift up the vibes but he looks so awkward and dumb.

you both laugh.

notes!: I'm trying to improve my writing style so please please please give some tips or something. also I take requests<3

[descendinginto-madness]

welt except he has a fever and desperately needs sleep

cw: descriptions of illness, high fever, being kinda delirious/out of it, sleep deprivation?, nightmares, headaches, mentions of death

contains spoilers for welt's hi3 lore

also, disclaimer! welt in here is very reluctant to ask for help and feeling bad about it because... well i imagine he'd react like this, BUT! needing help and asking for it is completely normal and valid and okay; please remember that and take care of urself ok!! ily /p

alright, so...

i'm gonna be honest since i found @bugbytez13 's blog welt sickfic ideas don't want to leave my head LMAO except i will write a detailed description of a fic instead of the fic itself. that's it that's the post

tbh this ramble in particular could be made into two separate fanfics (one sickfic and one specifically about the nightmares) but shh

i will forever be self conscious or anxious about things i post that aren't just headcanons or silly little rambles, but also... writing this went surprisingly smoothly so! enjoy the essay or something idk HAHA

======================================

so, about welt...

i just know this man is going to force himself to stay awake. maybe his self-sacrificing issues are less present now, and he doesn't immediately throw himself in danger in every fight ever, but he's still stubborn as hell. so he won't admit something is wrong. he won't admit that maybe getting way too little sleep several days in a row wasn't doing wonders for his immune system and he's now finally feeling the consequences. to be fair, he expected it might end like this, but he didn't want to take breaks - there's still too many things to take care of before they finally head to penacony. and now, he will still insist of taking care of everything, even though his body is basically begging him to go take a nap.

except maybe, he didn't even expect it to get this bad. or thought that he can just power through it. i mean, he's been through much worse, right? this is nothing compared to literally losing his body for some time. but he's sitting in the parlor car, and he's half awake, and unusually cold, and his head is hurting, and keeping up the act is getting harder and harder - but he has to, because the younger members of the crew are here too, even if only march is talking to him.

but they pick up on the fact that something is wrong, of course they do. his eyes are unfocused, he looks like he's about to fall asleep - or pass out - and march had to repeat herself twice for him to even fully process what she was asking him, and so suddenly stelle is next to him, attempting to touch his forehead - and he recoils. "i'm fine," he says, and it's probably a bit too quick and a bit too firm than he'd like it to be, and all of this is stupid, really, because he shouldn't be scared of someone touching him. how hot can it really be anyway if he's feeling so cold, right? but if that wasn't enough dan heng asks an even more dreaded question, "are you sure, mr yang? do you want us to call himeko?" and welt decides it's time to excuse himself, before he makes them even more worried. because even in his present state, he can pick up on the fact they're concerned, but at the same time unsure of what to do, and it makes him feel guilty. of course they're unsure; he's usually their caretaker, and he always knows what to do, and it should never be the other way around. he should've just stayed in his room all day, shouldn't he.

"thank you all for your concern, but i'm alright." he stands up. "now, please excuse me, i still have some work to do." of course that's true, but he's almost certain he won't be able to focus on that- but he just needs an excuse to get out from here and be left alone anyway.

but stelle is right next to him, and looking determined to accompany him to his room, too. "you look like you're about to fall, mr yang," they explain, and he wants to insist that he's okay once again, but realizes he's too tired to do so. it would take him at least a few minutes, and it's a few minutes he doesn't have nearly enough energy for. he just wants to finally lie down. so, he lets stelle essentially escort him into the hallway and to his bedroom, and make sure he doesn't collapse on his way there, and-- it's embarassing, honestly, because it's already so difficult for him to show himeko the slightest hints that something might be wrong, and right now the situation is similar but ten times worse - so it's also ten times harder for him to come to terms with the fact he needs to rely on someone.

"my... apologies for making you all worry," he says quietly when they reach his room, and he's so thankful that he left the lights off, because the parlor car was way too bright, and though the hallway was a bit better, it still wasn't good.

"it's alright," stelle shakes her head, and stands there in the doorway, even as he heads towards his bed and sits down. "i'll ask himeko to check up on you in a bit?" she asks, and he only nods, though he isn't sure if she can actually see it. he doesn't want to talk anymore, he doesn't want to think because even just that seems to make his headache worse, he just wants stelle to leave, he just wants to sleep-- he isn't even sure if he understood her question correctly, but he also doesn't have the energy to care. he falls asleep the moment the door closes behind her, fully clothed and half covered with a thick blanket, but even then he isn't allowed a peaceful rest.

memories from old battles flash before his eyes, silhouettes of enemies he once fought, those against whom he won - but also of those who severly injured or even killed him, and with that come the memories of the pain

and the fear of losing his body again.

when he finally awakens, sweating, shaky for reasons other than his fever, and still feeling pretty awful, it takes him longer than usual to remember where he is. it takes him longer than usual to remember that he's safe.

but now there's medicine and a thermometer on his nightstand, and a note written in himeko's neat handwriting - though he actually spots and reads it some time later - telling him to rest as much as he needs to, because she'll take care of everything; and only after he does read it and feels a sense of relief come over him, he realizes how much the thought of having to leave all the work in order to take a break actually stressed him out. he still feels bad about it, because of course he does, and of course he's going to apologize to everyone later.

but he's also able to sleep more peacefully now.

[angelsnkisses]

your Gabriel fic was the best I've read (even though I only read two because I couldn't find any more) so I'm here to ask for another fluffy where Gabriel notices that reader is neglecting her own problems and focusing only on his issues, and he helps her with this burden she's been carrying alone

Not Your Responsibility ♡ - Gabriel x gn!reader

💟 sfw 💟

summary: gabe reminds you that you should be taking time for yourself, and helps you unwind and relax <3.

warnings: mentions of mental illness, lack of self care

You sat down on the couch, a heavy sigh leaving your lips as you set your keys on the coffee table. Work was long, and all you wanted to do was sit around and do nothing for the rest of the day.

You hadn't been taking much time for yourself lately, and it was really starting to affect you. You were exhausted, mentally drained, and honestly, a little lonely. It felt like you couldn't talk to anyone about it, especially when your boyfriend had his own problems.

You loved Gabe, he was the best thing in your life, and you trusted him more than anything. But it had been a year since he pulled that stunt with Alice, and you were still scared he might do something irrational again.

You were constantly giving Gabe all your attention and love, trying to compensate for what you couldn't help him with. He never asked for anything from you, but you just felt like you were responsible for making up for everything he had been through.

"Y/N? Hey!" you hear him say, snapping you out of your thoughts. You smiled tiredly, your eyes landing on Gabe. He had on a long sleeved, navy blue shirt, paired with flannel pajama pants.

"Hey, how was your day?" you asked, scooting over so he could sit next to you on the couch. He settled in next to you, one of his arms slinging comfortably around your shoulders as he shrugged.

"Fine, I went to the diner," he mumbled, and you hummed gently in response, your eyes fluttering shut while you laid your head on his shoulder. He shifted to look at you, a quiet sigh leaving his lips when he saw how tired you looked.

"Y/N.. can you be honest with me for a second?" he asked, and you opened your eyes to look up at him. "What? Oh, yeah, of course I can," you replied, a little more alert now. Was something wrong? Was he okay? Did you fuck something up? The anxious thoughts consumed your mind while you waited for him to speak.

"When's the last time you ate something?" he asked, and you paused. That was a good question, but you had no idea.

"Uhh.. fuck, maybe Tuesday? I don't know, I've been so busy," you mumbled, embarrassed.

"Tuesday? Baby, it's Thursday, you need to eat something," he said, giving you a concerned look. "You need to take care of yourself, too, you know? You haven't been sleeping much, I can tell," he added, and you looked down in shame.

"I'm not your responsibility, Y/N," he suddenly said, making you look up quickly. "I know you feel like I'm gonna lose it any moment, but I'm not. You don't have to focus all your energy and time on me, you gotta take care of yourself," he reasoned, and a pang went over your chest.

You didn't even know you were crying until his hand brushed the tears on your cheeks away, angling your face up at him. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before smiling warmly. "Come on, why don't you go shower and take a nap? I'll order food when you wake up," he said, and you couldn't help but smile through your tears.

"Thank you," you whispered, leaning up and wrapping your arms around him. He hugged you tight, holding on for a little longer than usual before pushing you back gently. "You're welcome, now go. I'll clean up the house a little," he assured you, and you couldn't be more grateful.

**

He made good on his promises, of course. When you woke up from your nap, clean and refreshed, he was sitting on the couch, the cat in his lap and a quiet sitcom playing on the TV. The house was tidy and smelled fresh, and there was a chinese takeout menu on the counter next to your landline.

He turned to look at you when he heard you, smiling big. "Hey, just in time! I ordered some food, come sit with me," he encouraged, and of course, you did.

"Thank you for all of this, Gabriel.." you mumbled when you were curled up at his side, but he just shook his head. "You deserve it, don't thank me."

You guys ate and talked when the food came, catching up on work and such. He was attentive and sweet the whole time, making sure you were okay. He knew damn well that he was a lot to handle sometimes, and he wanted you to know that it wasn't all about him.

"You know I love you more than anything, right?" he asked as he cleaned up the takeout, catching you a little off guard. You beamed, feeling so much better now that you got some time to take care of yourself.

"I love you, too."

**

A/N: AHHH this ones so short. but i had a blast writing it, thank you for the request anon! sorry if it wasn't quite what you were looking for. hope you enjoyed <3!

[moth-yea]

Okay this is kinda gonna be a bit of a rant and might not make any sense so sorry in advance but OH MY GOD I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SEE TRISH AS NOTHING BUT A SPOILED TEEN!!!!!!

People say "she's a brat and demands so much from team Bucciarati" and "shes so rude to the gang" "shes a badly written character, all she ever does is talk about mineral water and shit" (yes, I've heard someone say that last one and believe themselves, they had also completely finished vento aureo when theyd said that)

Alright number one, yeah, at first even I thought she came off as a bit entitled and wasn't a fan of her. She annoyed me in the beginning a bit, but I didn't care. Why? SHES 15!!! She's legitimately a fifteen year old girl, what do you expect?? She was living a normal life (or as much of a normal life as she could) before all the shit with team Bucciarati, the entire structure of her life and everything that was normal to her up until that point was just ripped away because of a man she didn't even know.

Second, she does come off a bit rude in the beginning, but Abbachio is rude in a similar manner to the gang (expect bruno, not to mention he behaves the same way throughout the entire show) and you don't say anything????? That's probably just misogyny. Even if you do have a problem with her rudeness, she CHANGES. she changes, she ends up as a caring, determined, and most importantly LOYAL character. She opened up to Bruno, telling him that she's scared to meet her dad, that she's anxious and doesn't know what to do with herself. She's shown to care for Narancia during grateful dead's attack, using the ice provided to try and slow his againg process to be best of his abilities. She winds up joking with Mista later in the show, even If she'd previously shown disgust at being body-swapped with him, she got over it! She got over it and joked with him about it in the end, and they became closer. I could go on about all the times she's shown to be more than a mean and bratty teen, but these are just the examples I can think of off the top of my head.

Third, how, genuinely how, is Trish a "badly written" character? She's not flat, she's not a one-dimensional character, she has personality. There are many instances in which she's shown to be so much more than just the "mean girl" type of character. She's shown to have emotion. We've seen her scared and anxious, we've seen her happy and joyful, we've seen the determination she shows when she declares she wants to find out about her past, we've seen her be so much more than just a character who hides and needs to be protected or helped constantly. It's been shown straight to our faces, yet you blatantly deny it?? You don't try to understand her character at all??????

In conclusion, Trish Una is more than dudebro misogynistic jojo fans say she is. She is shown to be caring and have many other emotions several times, and I'm tired of people pretending we haven't. I love Trish, and I hope you do too.

[flowgninthgil]

So here I am in a corner of the second floor (two floors above the ground floor) of on the buildings of my campus, eating a cheap ham and cheese (pretty sure it's butter since it doesn't taste like any cheese I've ever had) sandwich, listening to Fishmonger album on loop.

Why did I decide to get that cheap sandwitch, a banana, and whatever english people call that third pastry, instead of getting a real meal with my friends? Who knows. I just feel so...

empty

I've noticed how people need to know they're not alone in their problems, and I'm thinking on doing a series of blog posts, starting with this one, just... telling my anxieties and whatever I feel like I'd want people to tell me.

I just wish I could believe myself.

So, yeah, people notice you, and not in a bad way, some people you're not even sure you'll ever be able to call friends will nod to you when they pass you.

Your friends don't mind you not spending time with them, it's alright.

I think

It's ok to have missed an evening/night out, you weren't here to know they'll go out.

No one's gonna talk to you if you close every door

One of my friend isn't here today, I hope they're not out burning themselves out to help everyone again. I miss them.

That last fucking line made me tear up a bit.

fuck feelings. How am I supposed to know I'm aroace when I don't know where I'm supposed to draw the lines of friendship? I can't even stop being anxious about it since putting my head on the shoulder of someone started a relationship.

I want physical contacts. I want to feel loved by my friends.

I wish I knew how to show people that.

And I'm surrounded by communists, trotskists, and anarchists, it shouldn't be hard.

I don't want drugs to make me forget, but everyone make it seems like the easiest answer. Fuck alcohols.

Shut your mouth, listen up when I talk, I'm a spoiled little brat, and I get what I want.

Shut your mouth, listen up when I talk, I'm a spoiled little brat and I get what I deserve....

Punk is hope

But I'm lost

And I can't see the shorelines around me.

I just have to reach out, don't I?

Okay, this is going waaaay too far.

fuck me

heh, I don't want that, I'm aroace.

but this whole shit got me thinking of suicide.

Nothing bad, on the contrary, I don't understand suicide when you got nothing to escape.

If life is just a dull cruise through life where you never stop to watch and take in, then suicide won't end shit, since there is nothing to end.

You'll only hurt the people around you, and if you got nothing for you, why should you take what others have?

Damn, I hope this is not going to turn into a weekly vent of my feelings, I'm not sure how much I can tell while not giving anything telling about myself.

Fuck me, I already gave my phone number to bilibili, why'd you do that shithead.

I'm gonna use Cunt as a insult now, because fuck that poll about if people found it offensive or not if they were british, aussie, kiwi, egomerican, or none of those.

Y'all lot of cunts, y'all are my fav fags, be happy in life. If I can't bring my own happiness, I might as well give other some I found on the way.

Fuck the cynicism,

Let the colours fly,

Don't care you think it's cringe

Because it's not your life.

Ravel in your friends and hobies,

Let your heart speak.

When a drifter say some shit,

just block that internet freak.

I just really don't care,

Put your hooves in the air tonight,

I wanna fall in love with everypony,

We gotta set the street alight.

Everything's so fucked and I'm tired of being scared,

So let's get out and fuck up equestria.

Fuck the mandate and the monarchy,

This our world now.

Do or die, you'll never make me.

Because the world will never take my heart.

Go and try, you'll never break me,

We want it all, we wanna play this part.

We'll carry on.

Big up to that plant in its pot at my right,

[raevenlywrites]

Hi Raev! I'm wondering if I can get your opinion on somethin.

So I've been having symptoms of depression and adhd and anxiety but I'm not any of those, I don't have any official diagnosis of anything but I've been trying to figure out for years what's wrong with me. The doctor says I need to be more active and sleep better, which I agree with that it would help. However, I cannot find motivation to even get up once I lay down, it's very difficult. I tried reward systems but they don't work because I either cheat (or skip a scheduled task) or I reward myself for the barest minimum lol.

I have other issues I won't get into, basically I feel stupid sometimes. But anyway I think something is wrong with me or I'm just lazy. But I don't know how to improve. How do I force myself to do things I need to?

Hey Nonny,

Let me start off by saying that the world is on fire and feeling depressed and anxious is like a given. That's not to diminish your situation at all, simply to say that even w/o a Dx, feeling stressed/anxious/depressed/hopeless is a very reasonable reaction to the state of things. So just keep that in mind.

I'd recommend a slight tweak on the reward system for starters, and try for a general tracker, so that you have an unbiased record of how things are going for you. It's easy for our brains to focus on the negative, and to negate any progress no matter how small. So, if you're able, make a note somewhere you can access easy (I email myself for example) and track any points of interest. Start small; you can always add more, but you don't want to scare yourself off with a massive list. When I'm at a low point, my tracking email is a simple "slept bad, hate everything" sent right after I turn off my alarm. Eventually, that email turns into "slept ok, gonna try to write something today" or a "had a decent day. Tired, but I managed to take a shower." It doesnt have to be elaborate, but the act of checking in with yourself will help make sure you don't miss the better days, and will help give you ammo against the "it's always been bad and it will never change" feeling that creeps in when you're at your lowest.

My other bit of advice is to seriously lower your expectations. The success you'll feel at achieving a ridiculously small goal adds up, and it helps combat the "do all the things! Oh no I didn't do them all I faaaaaaail" trap. Set a goal of brushing your teeth once a fucking week. Just once. Don't think about how small it is or what other folks are doing, just hit that goal of brush your teeth once a week. If you wanna be more active, start with just flexing all your muscles a few times while you're lying there in bed. Seriously, it's more exercise than none at all. Doing just a little bit is better than doing nothing. The babyiest of steps, ya know?

Finally, I just want to remind you that you're not bad or stupid or wrong or lazy. Your brain isn't doing the go thing, that's all. It's easy to fall into this idea that you should be productive and everyone else can do it etc etc. First off, no, not everyone else can. Lots of us struggle with executive function so it's seriously not just you. And second off, even if it was that doesn't make you stupid. It just means your internal processes aren't firing as expected. It happens. I'd recommend using coping strategies for ADHD that work for you, even without an official Dx. If it helps, it helps. If it doesn't, try something new. Shift the way you expect things to go. For example, I can't seem to make myself unload the silverware from the dishwasher if it's the last step I do. So I just do it at some random point, only the silverware, and leave all the other dishes. I get back to them eventually. Doing it in pieces works for me, and there's no weird dish police coming to write me a ticket (I do get that I have the luxury of an understanding partner and no one breathing down my neck to be upset about how I do this, ymmv). This is part of where tracking can help, too. If you can figure out what parts of a task hang you up, you can pivot and try doing them a different way.

I wish you all the luck with this, Nonny. It's a tough battle you got there. Make it as easy on yourself as you can. <3

[anxiousxdreamer]

I'm pretty sure at the start of this year I said I'd make original posts more. Talk more, here. I think I said something about every day, but that certainly didn't happen. I do know that i DID talk more. I still won't implement a tagging system and I'm still more prone to keeping my- mouth? fingers? shut, but I did talk more. And I'm proud of myself for that. I think I've made a friend even, kinda, possibly. I'll be anxious about defining it that way forever don't mind me. And today I saw an old friend in person for the first time in years. (Her niece is taller than her now, when last i saw her she was probably hip-height on me, which was a HOLY SHIT moment)

I've played more games, I've talked more with my friends, I've wiggled and sang and attended two weddings. One of which I was in the party of, and the bride was an hour late (and in the building itself the whole time too). I'm stimming more, I'm trying to get shit solved with my doctor, I scheduled my top surgery. I still desperately need therapy and all I want is to move out of this damn house, but I guess I didn't sit around doing nothing even if it feels like I'm the same dumb fuck I've always been.

I still feel like a broken, pointless shell of a person. That something is deeply, intrinsically wrong with me and that it'll never be fixed. But I did talk more on tumblr, whatever that means for me lol

I'm ending this year with "The Last Goodbye" from In Space with Markiplier, which was also a thing that happened and it was fantastic and broke my heart.

I'm making my way backwards through the Elder Scrolls games. I finally finished Oblivion and I intend to tackle Morrowind next. Idk how I'm gonna force Daggerfall to work but I will! I have a feeling for both I will be using the Elder Scrolls wiki a LOT

The new year bites me in the ass harder than I think it would if my birthday wasn't the immediate following day. Every new years day is, quite literally, the day of impending "one year older" for me. I don't want to be scared of getting older. Actually I'm not scared of like, aging itself. I think I'll make a funky old man one day. (NOT to say I think I'm getting close to that. I'm turning 24, not 54 XD) I'll have creaky bones and wrinkly skin and hopefully a dick by then but that is still decades away lol and i get so annoyed when people my age are like "i'm so OLD" no tf you're not shut up. anyway-

I'm just... afraid that I'm not changing fast enough. I'm an adult but I'm stuck. I've always been stuck because I keep making stupid fucking choices. At this point it's nobody's fault but my own and I don't know how to fix it because I can't muster the energy to work hard enough to make like, more money. Idk. I'm very tired

Anyway, happy new year, happy almost-birthday to me, I'm off to get "drunk" and eat shrimp

[squeet-smooch]

I just feel like puking. It just doesnt feel fair to me that I'd have a small reaction and minimize it to where im just gently being like "I'm not sure about that, I'm not sure I've done enough" and it isn't transactional, i can (NOw after explanation unfortunately) understand where that came from, but it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I'm just nervous.

Getting over the fear thats been instilled in me for 22 years or whatever is gonna take a little longer than 6 months, and its already gotten so much better and i just. I don't feel like I'm allowed to have this struggle. To actually sit with and come down from that fear, its "you got scared, is this even right for you? Are you trying to hurt me or do you just not care/notice?" Sorta feeling.

Like, the second i do something that stung, it isnt a misunderstanding or something i needed help with, it's me being negligent and cruel and shitty. You aren't being a dick because your feelings are hurt but somehow im always the one hurting you carelessly? Not to literally be that guy but what about my feelings you just hurt? If you just asked me, talk to me about it, i would have said no it isnt about that, it is about just the idea that i need to be reminded sometimes that you just want to do something for me, it isn't like it was. I just need reminded and I'm not trying to hurt you, but instead you message me telling me that i was shitty earlier, after the matter, and i see the Tumblr vague posts about me. I don't say anything, but i saw them and i know you know i see them, so they feel like side jabs at me.

I know im not totally innocent of doing similar but you're telling me to kill the thing in me that is sabotaging good things, and i truly for fucks sake don't feel that having trauma feelings means that I'm just making good things bad carelessly. Having something im not totally healed from(or even something i THOUGHT I WAS) come up like that does not mean I am being shitty and letting things just be bad.

I am not making things bad so i need you to not talk to me like that. I need you to not act like every time i feel a little insecure or bad that its entirely my fault, that I'm just soiling our perfect little time together, that I'm just making you feel terrible because thats how that makes me feel.

I genuinely feel like a bad person, bad partner, bad anything. Irredeemable, and thats just something i sorta come with. I've been working on it for years but especially with Me, Luci, i deal with that. I deal with it so much without saying much about it at all because who wants to listen to their partner talk about what a terrible man he is. It's just something to handle, but when you immediately react like this to something like me expressing fear, or remorse, or any sort of sorrow or whatever, it makes me think I'm right. That I'm a hurtful, bad partner to you in the long run.

I may take care of you and act kindly but i am forgetful, i cross boundaries on accident at times, my tone sounds crueller than i intend, and i am not without flaws and this is not to say every single hurtful thing i do needs to be forgiven or understood or that you need to be endlessly patient with me.

But understand that I'm not here to hurt you and when you act like i am, it crushes a part of me. I feel heartbroken often at the idea that I'm The one making you so anxious and sad and angry.

I'm not just Innocent, and I'm not saying you aren't allowed your feelings. But consider what you're saying im doing, consider what you're observing before accusing me of being an asshole to you because im so tired of hating myself, and you make me think I'm right to at times. Things ARE good, but you say i am making them bad. And yet, you still claim I'm not like Her. I'm not like the people in your past who hurt you yet i act like them? So much? I've never thought you act like anyone from my past, I've always thought you contradict it all and that heals it. You're reflecting the accusations that past people have said I'm doing, in the way that i don't feel it, i dont see it, i don't understand how I'm doing something hurtful when i look back at it and when I'm in the moment.

I just dont know what to do or say because every time something happens and i try to talk it out it gets worse. You seem angrier with me, and then you hold on to things so tightly, no matter what it actually was that happened

[zane-helps-otherkin]

Shufflemancy for multiple relationships

Requested by: Anon

This is a long post, so i'll write everything under the cut. Apologies for the small text aswell. I needed to make it look smaller so it took less space, feel free to ask for plain text.

Requestes are currently closed

Relationship with L

SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON from Ethan Bortnick

Pour me the liquor, fill up the vial

You're stuck in here for a little while

Hallucinations to help you drown

No one can hear you scream without a sound

No need to teach you my native tongue

Savor your brain, my favorite drug

A lucid dream, a croupy cough

You're tryin' to fall asleep but now you're falling off

I got shot in the face, now I can't move

Don't get attached, movin' too fast

You know how time moves

'Cause the demon knows my vice

Yeah, I'm see through

I got put in a trance, stole my front tooth

Stunt double

My spinal door is open for my

Stunt double

Fell off the bed, I broke my leg

Wake up, wake up

Misery loves company

I'll be back, remember me?

Cheap imitation, hypnotic touch

Invite myself inside to make your body numb

My own interpretation

Well, this one is very difficult to interpret. But here's what I think: While the main thing i'm getting is toxicity, it could also be two heavily traumatized individuals. There's many feelings of "Needing to get away before they hurt me" from one side (your side, if i need to guess) and "I don't want them to leave me because they're everything i have" from the other part (again, if i have to guess, from L's part). There could have been many secrets from the "Needing to get away before they hurt me" side (weather that was you or not), if we are talking about some fictional source, i'd guess this character would be some sort of monster, scared of themself and scared to hurt others, therefore keeping their distance. This is mostly my guess, you may interpret it as you will.

Relationship with S

brutal from Olivia Rodrigo

I'm so insecure, I think

That I'll die before I drink

And I'm so caught up in the news

Of who likes me, and who hates you

And I'm so tired that I might

Quit my job, start a new life

And they'd all be so disappointed

'Cause who am I, if not exploited?

And I'm so sick of 17

Where's my fucking teenage dream?

If someone tells me one more time

"Enjoy your youth, " I'm gonna cry

And I don't stick up for myself

I'm anxious and nothing can help

And I wish I'd done this before

And I wish people liked me more

All I did was try my best

This the kind of thanks I get?

Unrelentlessly upset (ah, ah, ah)

They say these are the golden years

But I wish I could disappear

Ego crush is so severe

God, it's brutal out here

I feel like no one wants me

And I hate the way I'm perceived

I only have two real friends

And lately, I'm a nervous wreck

'Cause I love people I don't like

And I hate every song I write

And I'm not cool and I'm not smart

And I can't even parallel park

My own interpretation

There's many angst in most of your relationships i see. This one isn't as hard to interpret, but here's my thoughts: The hard thing about this shufflemancy is too interpret it from the view of a relationship. We could think about it in three ways; both of you felt this way, one of you felt this way, or, the line "I only have two real friends" is about S being one of them and this is how you felt or viceversa. If we interpret it as a feeling in the relationship (i'm aware non of them were romantic, i just find it easier to call them "relationships"), there could've been many feelings of worthlessness, frustration, angryness/rage and maybe even depression, weather this is from both parts or only one. Again, this is only my guess and you may interpret it as you wish.

Relationship with M

A New Kind Of Love from Frou Frou

A new kind of love

Genetically altered

Enough of "Love Lite"

And "I Can't Believe It's Not Love!"

I can't help myself

And you don't have to say that

"It sparks across flesh

You'll feel it kicking in soon"

Are you falling in love?

I've a feeling you are

Are you falling in love

With a feeling?

So you're running late

And it's not even like you

You were doing so well

Did the dog eat your homework again?

I can't help myself (oh uh oh)

'Cause my friend says, "in real life

It's only the police (oh uh oh)

That ever come looking for you"

Are you falling in love?

I've a feeling you are

Are you falling in love

With a feeling?

Are you falling in love

Or only feeling you are?

'Cause if you're falling in love

Let me feel it

I've been busy

You know that

You know you're just saying that

Are you going to get that?

What's that supposed to mean?

My own interpretation

You mentioned non of your relationships were romantic, wich is why it's interesting getting this song. My own interpretation goes around strong feelings of love, even if it wasn't entirely romantic, but also confusion, in the song there's moments were the singer avoids "confirming" the other person has this feelings, wich mixed with the other songs you got, could be due to insecurity, worthlessness, depression or trauma. This song feels as if you really wanted to accept this feelings from M, but another part of you, preffers not to. Retaking my "one of them was a monster" guess, it could be because of that, the feeling of not wanting to hurt the other individual, however, again, this is my own interpretation and you may have another interpretation in mind.

Relationship with E

Cloud 9 from Beach Bunny

I don't wanna seem the way I do

But I'm confident when I'm with you

Lately all I feel is bad and bruised

Tired of tripping on my shoes

But when he loves me I feel like I'm floating

When he calls me pretty I feel like somebody

Even when we fade eventually to nothing

You will always be my favorite form of loving

When I start to tumble from the sky

You remind me how to fly

Lately, I've been feeling not alive

But you bring me back to life

My own interpretation

Now this is also interesting. E made you feel worth of this love, wich paired with the last song makes an interesting background. While there's apparently pretty feelings only, there's undertones of worthlessness again. In the song, it's literally the feeling of "i'm nothing without you", wich ends up with an interesting combo. This brings us back to the first song, because i feel like this was the exact feeling L felt for you, that you now feel for E. That's really interesting, but basically it's the same thing as your relationship with L, just inverted. Again, this interpretations could be wildly inaccurate, i just let my imagination make it make sense, and i hope this are helpful for you !.

[cindeihf]

✨ 26th year of existence ✨

Will I ever get tired of writing?

Maybe? Or maybe not. 😌

I really don't know. I haven't written about myself for quite sometime. I think I needed a time for personal reflection which I haven't done in a while. All these random thoughts are scattered in my brain and I can't figure out how I am to organize them. And I'm too lazy to do so. 😌 But I figured out that I'm just gonna categorize my points into five: Faith, Family, Romance, Career and Friends.

For starters, I'd like to begin by reflecting how this year went by. In all honesty, this year was probably one of the best and it's kinda scary. I feel like all the good things I've asked and prayed for in the past few years have all been granted. And I can't help but be anxious or scared about it. I have this feeling of damnation that one day all these will be taken away from me and I'm left to suffer for it. I rather not be in this state of pure bliss if it's only gonna be temporary. 🥺 Don't misinterpret, I am but sincerely grateful to our Omnipresent Creator for granting my heart's desire and always giving me what He knows is best for me. The past still haunts me and I just couldn't shake the thought that I don't deserve all these good things happening around me. I knew for this reason that my day of reckoning would come. 🥺

Despite these intrusive thoughts, God still sent me his angels and graced me with His word. "I sought the Lord, and he heard me. And delivered me from all my fears. They looked unto him, and were lightened: And their faces were not ashamed." Psalm 34:4-5 KJV

Short overview of a 25 yr old Synd:

January - May 2023: Military Training Instructor of PAF OCC CL-2023. I had squadmates too. I hope we could catch up sometime.

May: Went back to Zamboanga for about 5 days to catch up with the fam.

June - September 2023: Took up BAFOC and graduated from the course with flying colors.

September: Home sweet home on my 26th birthday. Finally, celebrating my birthday tomorrow with my dearly beloved family after 5 years of military services. And yes, I should be truly grateful because this was my wish for my birthday. ♥️

In addition, I had the privilege to spend all these months at Lipa with my significant other, my baby bingki. 🥺♥️ Thank You for allowing us to spend these days together.🙏♥️

With the year gone by, there were multitude of realizations I had gotten myself on matters pertaining to Faith, Family, Romance, Career, Friends.

I believe that I, too, am a conscientious objector of status quo. Just like Anne.

To be continued.

Hiii! it’s 15 Sep 2024 now, it’s very late but i’m gonna continue this log anyway so i could begin my 27th birthday log!

Faith

I knew there is a Higher Being in this world because after all that there is, I still feel that something is lacking. Like the purpose of this life.

Every now and then, I relapse and forget to re-center my life to what really matters, to YOU. Everything happening at once, career flourishing, goals being met, family stuff and all that life throws at me kinda drifted me away from you Lord God. I’m truly sorryy and I know I can’t make any excuses for these, but I am slowly making conscious efforts to turn back to you. During Sundays, with the LOML, we spend time worshipping youu at a Christian Church, we pray together before meals and thank you for all the blessings you always shower us with. Forever thankful for the time you gave us, to make up for all the days we never got to spend together. 🥺

Lord I pray that despite all the good things happening around me and my loved ones, you help me go back to you and worship you like nothing ever matters but you. You alone keep my fire burning, that this life is not about me, or the people or the things that exists, it’s solely for pleasing you. When I do good things, it’s because I want to please you but when I fall back and make mistakes, I know you’ll pick me up and still call mr your daughter. Please lord, I pray that you’ll keep holding on me. You’re a faithful and loving Father and i’m just a speck of a dust but still you chose to love me. How can I deserve such love? 😭😭 Lord forgive me for all my sins. I am but a sinner and yet I will always and always come back to you because you are my Love. You created me and I exist because of You. I offer my life to you my God. I love you.

Family

I was happy to spend my birthday with my dearest family after being away for 5 years. We had a museum tour, family worship and a simple family dinner. A fairly good celebration of my nameday. We survived the year and we have plans that we pray be granted by our supreme God. Happy for my mom and dad’s good health as well as my brother’s. I hope each hearts living under the same roof would find kindness and lovingly share it with each other. 🥺 Mahal na mahal ko kayo, I hope I made you proudd, you made me and I’m truly grateful that you guys kept on supporting me. Laban lang tayo fam!

Romance

I spent most of my days being an MTI at my Officer’s School and a student officer at PAFOS later on at Lipa City, Batangas. The past year, I was with my baby bingkii most of the days, I was just partly student/instructor because I was mostly a baby bingki too. Hehe Everything felt surreal. May mga days na nag aaway talaga pero I knew I was home because there’s just this calmness, security and safety. All guards down because I’m with him. Of course there’s adjustments, with him and his family, but that’s just normal, I love what and who he loves. 🥰 I hope to have a future with him and we could build a life I always wanted to. But everything won’t be possible if we don’t offer it to our Father. There’ll be challenges and trials, but with faith and his will, I know we’ll make it. 🫶🏻

25th Synd officially signing off. 🫶🏻

[sirenascales]

Hello!

Can I please request a chuuya × (really short) Port mafia executive fem! Reader smut?

She is strong and kinda overprotective and the short king has to remind her whose the boss <3

( they aren't together but they have a secret crush on each other)

Thank you so much ~♡

Thanks so much for the request :) i hope you like it!

chuuya x f!reader (gave you an unnamed ability i made up on the fly hehe)

cw: smut

Stepping into the small, shitty motel room, you could have wept at the sight of the single bed set against the wall. The last mission was fucking rough, and your body was paying the price for it. It ached all over. "Today fucking sucked."

"You're telling me," the man with you huffed in annoyance, storming into the room and falling back onto the bed. Your eyebrow twitched and you growled.

"You're dirty! Get off the bed, Chuuya!"

"Oh, go fuck yourself. I'm tired!"

You scoffed and stormed to the bathroom. You had to wash off all the dirt and blood before you could even think of relaxing. After a while, you returned to the room wearing just your undergarments, glaring at Chuuya. "Go shower."

"Shut the fuck up," he cursed at you, but he did as told anyways.

Like Chuuya, you were also an executive for the Port Mafia, though you were the newest of them. Technically, Chuuya was your superior in time and experience alone... but that didn't mean you stayed quiet.

He was loud, obnoxious and can be reckless and it drove you insane. You were worried he would get seriously hurt one day. It made you so anxious, you feel like throwing up sometimes. You couldn't help it, you liked him way too much.

Yeah.

"God, look at your ribs," you immediately hounded around Chuuya when he came out from the bathroom, the bruises on his torso sending you on overdrive. You couldn't help it, you were an obsessive worry wort of a person. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Chuuya was blushing, scowling at you as he inched away from you. He wasn't totally used to how protective you were. It was kinda weird, but it was that weirdness that made you a powerful ally, your ability powered by your intense need to protect those closest to you. Chuuya could almost describe it as you going into "Mama Bear" mode, with how scary and strong you get.

"I am perfectly fine, now just relax," he scoffed at you, making a beeline for the bed. "Let's just get some sleep."

You pouted, climbing into bed with him. "I'm just saying, Chuuya, you could be a little more careful next time. You could hurt yourself!"

"I'll have you know... you were the one that destroyed that building this time."

"I know! But it was after those bastards got to you! I got scared!"

"You don't have to be scared, you idiot!" Chuuya exclaimed, glaring at you. "I can take care of myself!"

"But-"

"Shut up! Did you forget who's in charge here? Who's been here the longest? It's me. You're just a fucking newbie so you have no place to try and order me around."

You huffed, returning Chuuya's glare with a glare of your own. "Well, if you weren't so damn reckless!"

"You're just gonna have to deal with it! God, you're incredibly annoying."

"I'm annoying but you still keep me around?"

Chuuya stammered at that, red tinting his cheeks. "That has nothing to do with it. I can acknowledge your power and still find you stupid and insufferable."

You scoffed and turned your nose us. "And you are obnoxious and arrogant."

You two glared fiercely at one another, the tension so thick, it was almost suffocating. You two would have turned away after a while, yet things don't always go as planned.

Before you both knew it, you were on your back, Chuuya hovering on top of you with his mouth on your neck and his cock buried inside of you. Your arms were wrapped around his shoulders, your head thrown back into the pillows as Chuuya thrusted into you deeply, making you cry out in pleasure.

Chuuya groaned and bit your neck, keeping up a steady pace as he fucked you. If he was honest, he'd admit to imagining this for a while, the tension with you two finally getting into a boiling point where you two would finally snap and fall into bed. He always felt it, every time you two squabbled like an old married couple.

Chuuya would never admit, though, that he liked you doting over him. Deep, deep, down... he liked that you cared. And he knew that you were sincere. And you were. You wore your heart on your sleeve, and it was your undying love and fierce will to protect that made you strong and perfect for the Port Mafia.

It's almost funny.

"Oh fuck... please, just like that..." you moaned, grabbing Chuuya's face and kissing him deeply. "Please, Chuuya... I'm gonna cum..."

Chuuya groaned into your mouth, moving to kiss on your neck again as he continued to fuck you. You soon came around him with a loud moan, and he groaned again as you squeezed him tightly, triggering his own orgasm where he came deep inside of you with a low curse.

After a moment, Chuuya flops beside you on the bed, you breathing heavily with sweat covering your bodies. You started to smile, and you covered your mouth as you started to giggle.

"Wow..."

Chuuya just chuckled, rolling his eyes as he glanced over at you. Alright... so maybe you weren't so annoying.

I'm taking requests~

[serxeinxx]

𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄 [1]

↻—bakugou x fem! reader [pro-hero AU]

↻—tw: mention of abortion, violent words, suicide, anxiety, angst

↻—:: series m.list!

↻—wc: 2.0k

↻—summary: leaving you and your son, bakugou must find a way redeeming the both of you despite he's 15 years late.

↻—masterlist! :: taglist! :: navigation! (reblogs are highly appreciated!)

↻—disclaimer!

All the characters and events depicted are fictitious. Any resemblance to a person living or dead is purely coincidental.

Standing inside your bathroom with anxious, sacred, and horrifying sensation felt all into you, with a piece of plastic test on your hand. You couldn't believe it. You we're pregnant. Pregnant with your boyfriend, Bakugou Katsuki.

*knock *knock *knock

"y/n? are you alright? I've been hearing you whimpering inside the bathroom.", your mother said from outside the bathroom. 'i'm screwed.', you thought. you couldn't think straight. how come, a diligent girl with a hero dream in the future become suddenly like this? a pregnant teenager, you can't face your mother like this. not with you in this state. you held back your tears, and pulled yourself together.

You opened the door to see her worried. "y/n whats wrong?", she asked. You shook your head. "no-nothing mom, i'm just tired of training and school", you smiled. You tried to go away but she held your wrist. 'crap', you nervously thought.

Your mother, grabbed test from your hand. She immediately knew what was that all about. She was disappointed. But she can't stay being mad at you. You were her child after all. "let's talk in the living room about this matter.", she said. You followed her all the way to the living room. The both of you sat down. "y/n, i'll be asking you questions about this and answer me. Honestly, tell me.", she said. "when did you two did it?"

"a m-month ago.", you answered. Even your mother is worried about this, she can't just do nothing about this. "y/n, listen to me. this will go different if you'll talk about this matter with bakugou. and besides, he's the father of the brat you're carrying.",she said as she held both of your shoulders. "m-mom, i'm s-scared. i'm scared that everybody's gonna reject me. i'm scared that he'll abandon me. and i'm scared that you'll abandon me!", you cried. "I'm frustrated at myself! what kind of a diligent girl in the hero course became suddenly like this?!"

you broke down and kneeled. "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry.." "hey, y/n i'm here, and there's no way i'm abandoning you..", your mother reassured. "just, talk this matter with bakugou and we'll think about the rest later.", she said as she hugged you. she patted your head."now, now, don't cry. it'll be bad for my grandchild be affecting in your crying.", she said and laughed in the end. 'gosh, i'm lucky to have a mom like this.', you thought in relief. Now, all you have to do is talk to bakugou.

it took at least 2 days to think on how you’ll say this to katsuki since he was a little bit on edge these days, you knew that midoriya sort of keep on getting better than usual on his skills and you knew that will make katsuki on edge. the jealousy in his eyes can be really seen on him, that made you a bit scared to talk to him. “hey, katsuki, can we talk? like just the two of us?”, you asked. you both talked in the training grounds since he was alone there. “so, what do you want to talk about?”, he asked. “remember the last time did it? well, it’s kind of turned in the wrong way and-”

“that you’re fucking pregnant?”, he cut your sentence off.”y/n what the hell. we used protection! what the fuck. h-how will i take this?”, he bursted out. “katsuki, i know we used protection but, i want your answer in this katsuki. i want your decision on this. you’re the dad in this child i’m carrying." bakugou was on edge right ow, you? pregnant? how will he do that? will his dreams get crushed? how? why? in fact, this may be the time that he’s scared, terrified rather. “what- how will people look at me? that a fucking 18 year old hero student suddenly became a father?”

“neither i don’t know what to say either katsuki!.", you replied. “that fucking piece of cell will crush our lives y/n! rid of it.”, he answered. this was not the answer you we’re hoping for. “are you serious katsuki? that’ll make us both murderers!”, you protested.” let’s sort this out rationally. don’t go thinking that i’ll just get rid of this!”, you said. “so choose y/n. me or that fucking brat in you?”, he asked.

This was not the answer you wanted to hear. All you wanted was just a rational talk and not being too aggressive about it. He's never been in this situation before and so are you.

"if you're thinking about abortion katsuki, i'm not doing it.", you said as he turned his head to your direction. "So leaving behind your hero career? Then be my guest. We're fucking over.", he spat and started to leave. "Fine then katsuki. I'm leaving UA anyways. but i'll be waiting for you to come back.", you said as your tear slowly sliding down on your cheeks while looking at him leaving the scene.

You went home that time and told your mother about what happened. She was mad. "That fucking coward brat.", she grumbled.

As you and your mom went to UA together to talk this matter with aizawa, your homeroom teacher. The both you sat down in the teacher’s room and talked about the situation you’re in. “Mr. Eraserhead, i would like to transfer my child in a normal high school”, you mother stated. aizawa’s eye widen a bit. “please, call me aizawa, and besides your state, may i ask if is there a problem regarding to our learning system?”, he asked. “no, no there’s no problem regarding your teachings, it’s just that, we are handling a very important family matter and we decided to keep y/n beside me since it’s been tough lately.”, your mother replied.

He understood you mother’s reason. But for some reason, he thinks that there’s more to it. He looked at you with curiosity and left the room to get the papers needed.

As you and your mother left the school. The teachers knew what happened. Midnight sighed right after aizawa told the news. Also, snipe was a bit sad for a reason because he was your now-former mentor.You and your mother went home to take a rest. 

you felt a rush in your tummy and you went to the nearest sink and puked. after that, you cleansed up your mouth and the sink. your mother approach and sat down by the seat on the dining table. “mom”, you called her.

“hm??”

“I’ve been thinking this last night but i’m a bit nervous about my child would look like. me or katsuki- i don’t want t people bombarding them in curiosity in the future...”

“ah y/n, isn’t too early to think about that? and besides, thinking all that emotional shit will affect your brat. you better keep in check when it come to your emotions.”, your mother said. you let out a bitterly chuckle. “yeah sure.”, you replied.

“my hunch in your kid will be a girl.”, you mother clapped. 

“okay y/n, take a deep breath, and when i say push let out all your strength okay? one..two...PUSH!”

“GAAAAAAH!”

“okay! the head is a bit out now on three, you push okay?”

“m-mom this shit hurt- GAAH!”

“one...two... three!”

“GAAAAAAAAH!!”

“uwaaah~”

You caught you breath right after you pushed. tears beside on the both of your eyes in the end, started to flow.

“It’s a boy!”, the doctor announced.

“*pants* your hunch was a girl right, mom? i guess i win this time.”, you smiled. 

“Mrs. l/n, may you do the honor on cutting his umbilical cord?”

“sure! look at him! his hair is just like yours!”, you mother cheered as she cut the umbilical cord.

The doctor handed out your son, still crying out loud. For the first time in your life, you had your son, you fell in love in an instant. Just by looking at his small figure. You were quite nervous to hold him since it he was a newborn, his body was fragile.

But somehow, you managed to carry him along with your mother's assist.

"You got my hair. He's handsome.", you complimented. Your son's eyes opened a bit and you were able to see his eye color to which it surprised to you that he got your eyes too.

"So, y/n, what are you gonna name this brat?", your mother asked.

"Well, I've been thinking on neutral gender names since he may change his mind in the future on how he'll identify q as in the future. And i think.. mitsuya is the best pick. Yeah, mitsuya, l/n mitsuya.", said as you admired his face now that he's now asleep in your arms.

"I thought you'll name him after his father.", your mom replied. You shook your head in disapproval. "Nope, not a chance."

"Uh huh, mitsuya. That's a nice name", your mother approved.

'Welcome to the world, Mitsuya', you said in mind.

"MITSUYA! YOU'LL BE LATE IN SCHOOL!"

"GEEZ HOLD YOUR DAMN HORSES!"

Mistuya shouted as he went downstairs to see you, holding a wooden spoon. He knew what could be the possible outcome in this situation.

One, you'll spank him with it. Or you'll slam it on the table.

"You're almost late in your sports festival! Don't slack off!", you scolded him.

"Mom, calm down i'm not a hero student."

"Oh yeah, forgot about that. Come on, eat up. If your grandma was here, she'll give you another ceremony for 20 minutes.", you saivd as you sat down on the dining chair.

"Yeah, sure, sure.", he said and sat down and started to eat breakfast.

"Mom?"

"Hm?"

"Will you watch me later?", he asked.

"Of course! I bought a ticket! I'm glad i got connections haha!"

You looked at the time and ti see it was almost 8:00.

"Mitsuya! It's almost 8! Hurry up! Eeeeee! I can't wait for your fight later! Grab your bag and wait for me outside.i'll be there in 10.", you said as you rushed to your room and changed your clothes.

Mitsuya sighed as he grabbed all the plates and placed it on the dishwasher.

'Only this time i'll use the dishwasher' he thought.

He went to the sofa get his bag and grabbed it. He can't help it but to feel a bit excited in the sports festival. To show off his moves, and his quirk of course. He was about to go outside and he looked at the wall and to see him and you in a picture, together.

He was happy. He has a mother who was always there for him and always keep him grounded at all times. But he can't help the fact that why is his dad was not present after all this time.

At the time, you told him how everything started. He grew a resentment to his dad. Right now, he kind of starting to understand why and how.. his resentment always outweighs the good side of his conclusions.

And this time, in the sports festival people will be suspicious about him, that has the same quirk as Pro-hero: Dynamight. That may be the reason why he choose the general course.

He opened the door. And waited for you to come out.

"Oi oi oi, what's with the scowl?" You asked.

"Oh, nothing just thinking of things that's all.", he replied.

You can't help it to see mitsuya, all grown up. Yes, he got your hair color and eyes, but there's no denial that he EXACTLY looked like katsuki, and also a plus with his spiky hair. Whenever he's scowling, it's really noticeable.

Both of you went to UA. A nostalgia feeling hit you. It's been years since you've been here. You could clearly remember how you left UA. You still think that you sounded selfish to go away from your friends especially yaoyorozu.

"Mom, i'll be going now. See ya at lunch break.", he bid a goodbye.

"Wait!"

"Hm?"

"Good luck, don't hold back. And win the game mitsuya.", you patted his shoulder. A realization struck in you. " omy gosh! i didn't mean to pressure you-! Just, do your best!"

Mitsuya laughed. "Don't worry mom, i'll win. Fair and square", he smiled. He waved a small goodbye and left.

You looked at him as he walks away. You turned around and went to the venue, feeling proud of your son.

end of pt.1

next | masterlist!

[moralina]

Why I Love the Moon | Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: sometimes accidents happen, and when you're young it's hard to know the right way to deal with them. But Peter is sorry, and you couldn't be that angry, right?

*English is not my 1st language

N/a: I really don't know how to use on and in properly and when to put the damn comma.

Warnings: aside from my lack of comma usage knowledge? maybe cursing but nothing else

I'm really frustrated with this comma thing

Wc: 1.7k

Masterlist

GIF CREDIT

She was in her house, buried under the covers, too tired to do anything after spending all day shopping for a new dress. Homecoming was close and she really wanted to make Peter speechless. Even if she was kind of mad at him right now.

Peter was in a random building looking around, searching for a bad guy to beat the shit out of so he could call it a day and finally see his girl.

She was all he could think about, and after their last conversation he was really anxious to see her.

"See, I told you it was gonna happen!"

"in my defense- i... i don't have a defense" the girl huffed, frustrated with her boyfriend.

the young couple, plus ned, who stood quietly by the couch, were looking at y/n's phone. Broken.

The things is, she'd gotten a text from nick, her friend from school, and he was asking her out. Peter saw and immediately snatched y/n's phone out of her hand. It turned into peter and ned teasing y/n about the fact that nick had a crush on her as well as peter saying "i told you so" repeatedly. He knew nick liked her, and she would always brush it off as peter being jealous and paranoid. But now, now he had proof that nick was trying to steal her away from him.

That led to peter saying he was going to send nick a message, y/n trying to get her phone back, peter running away from her and ned just standing there awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

"Give it back!" Y/n yelled, jumping on Peter's back.

"Hey Ned! Catch!" And he threw the phone at ned who almost missed it.

"Stop, you're gonna drop it!"

But peter ignored her.

That's how y/n ended up with a broken phone, a scared Peter, and a silent Ned. She didn't know what was going on through the latter boy's mind, but the moment they locked eyes, he immediately bid his goodbyes and ran out of the front door and away from a fuming y/n.

Peter stood there, trapped next to y/n in what was possibly his last moments in the living world.

But the screams didn't come. The girl was quiet. Too quiet. And that made him terrified.

Without looking at him, she told him to go home and he silently obeyed.

That was last night and they haven't spoken since. But he sent her a message asking if he could come over and she replied with "yeah"

Before going to y/n's, he wanted to make sure to make it up to her. So he bought her favorite chocolate and her favorite candy plus a bouquet of y/f/f.

And hey, he had a flawless, at least he thought it was, apology speech.

Y/n had spent all her money on that phone. She'd pulled extra shifts just to buy it. Her old phone was total crap and when she bought a new one, with her own money and effort, she was very excited and proud of herself. It was her first purchase and maybe that sounds silly to some people, but to her it was very important.

And he understood why she was mad. She told him to stop and he didn't. He was being reckless. Blame it on jealousy, if you will.

Now he has to make it up to her.

And he will.

It was just 10:13 p.m., and anxiety was taking over him. She couldn't be that mad, could she? I mean, he just cracked her phone's screen, and he's going to pay for it. He has no idea how he's going to do that, these shits are always expensive, but he'll find a way. He always does. And it's not like he has a choice, Y/n would probably make him pay for it, anyway.

Breathe Peter

He eyed the moon.

It was shining, taking away the darkness of the night sky and giving it a glow.

"Karen, call Y/n"

He couldn't wait. He had to at least know if she was still pissed off at him as she had been when he'd left her house. He swore she was going to explode his head with her mind.

It's not like it was a big problem in their relationship. Why would Y/n break up with him over it? He was worried because it was a weird fight, if you could even call it that. She didn't scream, but she was furious. Y/n was never the type to yell under any kind of circumstance, she's always able to keep her cool. He admired that about her.

Usually they'd just tell eachother what was bothering them and they'd talk it out. She wouldn't tell him to go away.

At her house, Y/n couldn't stop looking out the window. Her eyes glued to the moon.

On days when Peter was late or wasn't answearing her calls, she'd look at the moon, believing he was okay, relying on the tranquility it gave her, knowing Peter was looking at it as well, and that he was there, just like the moon. It was the constant in their lifes, that wouldn't change and would keep them close. It was their moon.

She didn't know why, but it'd always keep her mind at ease.

Yesterday she didn't want to see the boy's face anywhere near her. Now she regrets kicking him out.

A few moments passed and her phone started ringing but Y/n was too busy inside her own head to notice her surroundings. And even if she'd heard it, she probably would't have picked it up, not wanting to talk to anyone. The thought that it was Peter calling didn't cross her mind. She thought he was too upset with her.

They had both been wrong about each other.

↬

It was already the other day when Peter got to Y/n's house. He decided it'd be better if he waited a couple more hours to give her some space.

Now, he stood in front of her door, with a bouquet of her favorite flowers, not knowing what to do. He should probably ring the doorbell, but he was too nervous, too scared.

Maybe he should go home?

No. No.

He's here and he's going to apologize. Besides, she couldn't be that angry anymore, right? Y/n was the sweetest girl in the whole world, at least when it came to Peter. Eventually, they'd talk it out and she'd forgive him. He's willing to do anything if it means she'll forgive him. He knows he was wrong and he wants to fix things.

"Are you just gonna stand there?"

Her voice startled Peter. She'd been watching him from her room's window. He haven't noticed she was there before. His body was tense and Y/n could feel the awkwardness that quickly surrounded the air. It was an odd feeling. Usually, they were very comfortable in eachother's presence, even if something had happened between the two. The young girl couldn't bare this anymore and closed her window, going back inside and leaving a worried Peter alone again. He thought she didn't want to talk to him, but when he heard the door being unlocked and her figure appearing in front of him, he felt deeply relieved.

"Hi" y/n said, almost in a whisper.

"Hi" he answered sheepishly.

Without saying anything else, she stepped aside, silently telling him he could come in. Slowly, he made his way into the house, not daring to look at her eyes while doing so.

She wanted to tell him everything was fine. That she wasn't angry anymore and he could relax, but first, she'd wait and hear what he had to say, because after all, she deserves an apology.

"Here" he handed her the flowers with a quick motion, still not looking directly at her. "I thought you'd like them."

"I do." Y/n/n smiled softly. "You can look at me, Pete. It's okay." She laughed lightly.

He did as she said and she was surprised to see his eyes were wide with fear. She didn't understand why he was scared. She wasn't breaking up with him or anything.

She sighed

"Peter?" He only hummed in response. "Hey" her hand cupped his cheek "It's... okay." her voice was tender, but there was a slight reluctance in her tone.

"I'm sorry, it's just-" he paused, taking a deep breath "are we- are we okay?" she couldn't help herself but let a small nervous and breathy laugh escape.

She paused, not saying anything at first. Peter got more scared, and upon realizing it, Y/n answered him quickly "Of course we are..."

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."

"I know you're sorry, Pete." She rolled her eyes. She wasn't annoyed at him, it's just that his reaction to this whole thing threw her off guard and she didn't really know what to do with her whole body, so it just acted on instinct.

"Sorry." He said again. "It's just... I've been kinda stressed lately and, I don't know, it got even worse after yesterday and I kinda started overthinking things and I know I'm probably overreacting and I'm sorry but I can't help and-"

"Peter" she interrupted his rambling with a soft smile "I understand." She held his hand in hers "but, you still broke my phone, you know," he nodded "and I was hoping you'd help me pay for it to be fixed, if you can."

"Yeah yeah it's the least I can do."

And finally they both talked it all out. Peter kept repeating "I'm sorry" throughout the whole day. When the night came, he helped her onto the rooftop, so they could watch the sky while Peter shared stories about last night's patrol, and she talked about her previous day and how she found the perfect dress to go to homecoming.

"It's, like, the definition of perfect, Peter." He smiled, her enthusiasm filling his heart with pure adoration.

"Oh, I'm sure of it. Anything is perfect on you." she rolled her eyes, smiling timidly, her cheeks turning red.

Despite it all, Peter was still perfect, in his own, messy, way.

"The moon is so beautiful tonight, isn't it?" Y/n mumbled, staring up at the full moon illuminating the dark sky.

"Yeah, it is." He replied, but his eyes weren't on the moon, they were looking at her.

A/n: maybe this fic doesn't make sense, but I'm still proud lol ▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎ if you enjoyed, please consider leaving a like and rebloging, it helps a lot 💙