#it's not unusual for my dreams to be made up of many small aspects of my life but I'm nonetheless impressed

[episodes-without-incident]

Will get caught up when I can, but just needed to let y'all know that I dreamt last night that Karina referenced Cascada.

[audiofictionuk]

New fiction Podcasts - 1st September 2024

Mall Brats Audio RPG Mall Brats is an RPG podcast that’s like if Gangs of New York was a Saturday morning cartoon set in a magical 1980s mega mall. Countless kid gangs make their living in the mall pulling off schemes, selling candy, and causing trouble under the watchful eye of the mysterious Food Court. The Cool Treat Kids are the mall’s most up-and-coming gang of ne'er do wells, featuring Fenton Beasley, Franklin Stein, and Clover Ivy Fern. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240826-01 RSS: https://feeds.megaphone.fm/mallbrats

https://media.rss.com/the-wild-wind-an-american-gothic-tale-by-cor-zim/20240827_010834_8aed79f9ac38e1bcd530f523ffb73e8d.jpg

THE WILD WIND | An American Gothic Tale by Cor Zim Audio Book The Wild Wind is an American gothic tale about a woman born and raised on the grounds of a psychiatric institution—not as a patient but as the daughter of the asylum’s farmer—who learns of love and loss while grappling with the question of what it means to be sane when insanity is the norm. “What’s to be sane in the garden of madness?” That’s the question haunting Sarah, a centenarian writing about her life growing up at the asylum on the bank of the Illinois River. After a long-tormented life, Sarah intends to commit after completing a typewritten manuscript spoken to a man named Sam. Through a lens of lore and myth—the secrets that shaped Sarah’s twisted and mysterious life are revealed. In Sarah’s labyrinthine quest for healing and peace, she painstakingly deconstructs the most transformative moments of her life. Her journey, spanning a century, is marked by profound hardship and survival, leading her to the poignant realization: “Sanity is but paper in a world consumed by fire.” The Wild Wind defies convention, blending plot and character development in a refreshingly unique way. With an equally unusual structure and lyrical prose, Sarah’s account is intellectually intriguing and emotionally compelling. It sheds light on the darker aspects of American society and history, encouraging readers to view themselves and the world from a fresh perspective. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240827-01 RSS: https://media.rss.com/the-wild-wind-an-american-gothic-tale-by-cor-zim/feed.xml

Handwritten Storytime Audio Book I have enjoyed writing to many extents from a young age and not too long ago decided to pursue my dreams within this career. I am starting small by recording my mini novels and posting them as episodes here. These novels are all different sizes, and some are more detailed than others. Follow along with me on a journey through notes and pages! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240521-06 RSS: https://diannajosteinbauerpodcast.podomatic.com/rss2.xml

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Moorish Media Presents Cold Shivers Audio Book Moorish Media Presents: Cold Shivers: A Supernatural Thriller SeriesCalling all horror enthusiasts, supernatural fanatics, and thriller readers! Moorish Media invites you to embark on a chilling journey with our latest masterpiece, Cold Shivers. This captivating series is tailor-made for those who crave spine-tingling experiences and a hefty dose of the supernatural in their literary escapades. Unleash Your Darkest Desires. Cold Shivers is a collection of tales that will transport you to a world where vampires roam, zombies lurk in the shadows, and werewolves howl at the moon. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240822-04 RSS: https://media.rss.com/coldshivers/feed.xml

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AHOOGA! | A Dime Store Novel by Cor Zim Audio Book AHOOGA! begins as a coming-of-age tale set in rural America. The protagonist, a young boy named Oscar, grapples with his father's strict rules and expectations. Despite this, Oscar forms a friendship with Josefina, a Mexican girl from the impoverished side of the tracks. The story, written in a lyrical style with vivid descriptions of the characters and settings, unfolds against a backdrop of profound societal changes and significant historical events, including the rapid rise of the automobile industry and the looming threat of World War I, culminating in a dramatic bank robbery and a chase that leaves a lasting impact on the town and its people. As Oscar and Josefina's relationship develops, they face adversity, including a violent encounter with a group of boys. This event has lasting consequences, shaping their understanding of societal divisions and personal resilience. Then tragedy strikes, leaving the young girl orphaned and on the precipice of yet another mortal tragedy that leaves Oscar broken and blaming his father personally for the loss. The second half of the novel finds Oscar hopping on a train for the city and the irresistible allure of the jazz culture of 1920s Chicago, where he meets Betty, a woman who introduces him to the hidden world of speakeasies and bootlegging. Oscar becomes enamored with the devil’s music and its flappers, finding solace and escape in the smoky haze of the underground clubs. Oscar's life takes yet another perilous turn when he meets Nevaeh, a talented jazz singer known as "Little Bird." Nevaeh is involved with a dangerous gangster, Silver Dollar Sam. Despite the risks, Oscar is drawn to Nevaeh, and they begin a passionate affair. Oscar's journey reflects the struggles of many during this era as they navigate the complexities of love, identity, and the pursuit of the American Dream. But no matter how hard Oscar tries, regardless of what vice he chases, be it jazz, liquor, or sex, he can never seem to part with the one who got away, young Josefina, and the ever-increasing desire to avenge her death. Written & Narrated by Cory ZimProduced by Radio VertéExecutive Producer, Cory Zimhttps://radioverte.works Cor Zim is the executive producer of Radio Verté and the author of two fiction novels, THE WILD WIND and AHOOGA!, each of which has been adapted into an audio podcast series. He is the author of two nonfiction novels, SPOON RIVER GOTHIC: Narrative of a Double Homicide and DEATH RIDES THE HIGHWAY: A Thrill Ride Fueled by Murder & Terror, both of which have also been adapted into audio podcast series produced by Radio Verté. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240827-02 RSS: https://media.rss.com/ahooga-a-dime-store-novel-by-cor-zim/feed.xml

Dragon Age: Vows & Vengeance Audio Drama In this immersive fantasy series, a pair of heroes brought together by fate embark on a journey of revenge, redemption, and love. Set in the vast world of Thedas, Dragon Age: Vows & Vengeance was created in collaboration with BioWare and based on their award-winning video game franchise, Dragon Age. Nadia, a retired cat burglar, finds herself back on the prowl after scoring the job of a lifetime. Unknowingly employed by the Dread Wolf, Nadia hunts down a powerful ancient artifact and both she and her lover, Elio, find themselves caught in a web of lies that threaten the entire world. When Elio is seemingly banished to the Fade - a mystical magical plane - Nadia desperately searches for answers on a rescue mission across Thedas. On her journey, Nadia finds an unlikely ally in Drayden, a bookish historian and writer with a troubled past and a mysterious connection to the Fade. Their journey to save Elio is arduous, dangerous, and at times, downright foolish. But with the help of some friends, our heroes find some of the answers they are looking for and a few they wish they hadn’t. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240829-01 RSS: https://feeds.megaphone.fm/PDP6704482640

I Need A Miracle Audio Drama Every episode is a prayer, some prayers are answered, and a prayer granted can upend the world. Each episode, each prayer, is a single desperate moment of a life in another world. A world shaped by the divine. The voices we hear know an omnipotent being is listening. They know not all pleas are granted – but some are. And they believe in the benevolence of their god. Desperation and calculation, need and desire render each new character in vivid shades. And episode by episode, a miraculous yet tumultuous world is assembled in glimpses. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240829-02 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/ineedamiracle

Someone Just Like You Audio Book This is the sound that breaks the silence of the night. The scratching inside the walls. The tapping just outside your window. The whispers in the dark. "Someone Just Like You" is a harrowing journey into supernatural terror not for the faint of heart—or stomach. These handpicked horror stories are frightening, fearless and hauntingly vivid. Brought to life by an extraordinary cast of voice actors including Peter Lewis, Addison Peacock, Méabh de Brún, Graham Rowat, Anusia Battersby, and many more. Listen at your own risk because what happens here could happen to anyone. It could happen to… Someone Just Like You. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240829-03 RSS: https://feeds.megaphone.fm/someonejustlikeyou

Resurrecting Dick Nash Audio Book A jaded lawyer, on the payroll of a nameless corporate entity, travels the backroads of modern day America on a mission to unearth a mysterious object simply called "the Package." The only clues to its whereabouts are a disjointed series of notes and records compiled by an obscure 1980's pulp fiction writer who traveled the same roads half a century ago and wrote under the pen name Dick Nash. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240801-04 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/f93fec20/podcast/rss

Darkside Tales Audio Book Original horror stories, written and produced in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia. All stories written by Vanessa F Penney. Produced, narrated and edited by Roxanne Potvin. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240803-02 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/darksidetales/feed.xml

Genesis and The Lumenairians Audio Book Genesis and the Lumenairians is an original science fiction podcast created by Elizabeth Manoukian. The year is 2056. In a post-WiFi, analog Los Angeles we follow our hero, Genesis as she tries to find what she has lost to another fold of reality. Genesis and the Lumenairians was inspired by films such as Blade Runner, Interstellar and Francesca Lia Block’s Dangerous Angels book series. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240805-04 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/Genesisandthelumenairians/feed.xml

Finding Familiars Audio RPG Stories told, adventures had, and familiars found just with the roll of some dice. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240809-03 RSS: https://feeds.simplecast.com/4VXqY4mD

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Dungeons and Drag Queens Audio RPG Hear ye! Hear ye! High-fantasy, high-heeled, high-quality audio from Dungeons and Drag Queens LIVE shows will have you rolling on the floor with HIDEOUS laughter! Since starting in Seattle, Dungeons and Drag Queens LIVE has inspired many. Dungeon Master Comedian Paul Curry and improvisational violinist Carson Grubb will lead a party of fierce local and international Drag Queens on a brand-new storytelling adventure, filled with danger, snark, and audience participation around every precarious corner. Listen and learn, or hear Paul’s carefully crafted fantasy world burn, at Dungeons and Drag Queens! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240804-02 RSS: https://media.rss.com/dndqlive/feed.xml

https://media.rss.com/forge-fable/20240714_080701_e6a90ead653335c23e0d48d1f045cf5f.png

Forge & Fable D&D Podcast Audio RPG Welcome to Forge & Fable, where storytelling meets adventure in the wondrous world of Dungeons & Dragons! Join a band of intrepid adventurers as they journey through magical realms, unravel ancient mysteries, and face formidable foes. Whether you're a seasoned player, a budding dungeon master, or someone just enchanted by epic tales, this podcast will ignite your imagination and bring fresh excitement to your D&D experience. Each episode is a blend of compelling narrative, dynamic character interactions, and thrilling gameplay, brought to life by a passionate team of players and a creative dungeon master. Prepare for laughter, suspense, and the occasional dice roll mishap as we forge our path through fables old and new. Tune in to Forge & Fable and become a part of our ever-growing adventuring party. Your epic quest awaits! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240811-01 RSS: https://media.rss.com/forge-fable/feed.xml

Public Access: Playback Static Audio RPG Playback Static is an analog/cosmic TTRPG Actual Play Podcast of the game Public Access by Jason Cordova which you can get through DriveThruRPG. It is set in Deep Lake, New Mexico in the year 2004. Ever since the local public access TV station that began production in the late 1970’s, TV Odyssey, quite literally disappeared in the mid 1990’s, odd things have been happening in the town of Deep Lake. Our Latchkeys who grew up in Deep Lake and moved away find themselves drawn back to their hometown to solve the mysteries happening in Deep Lake currently, and the get to the bottom of what happened to TV Odyssey, once and for all. There’s secrets in Deep Lake, one’s that are older than our Latchkeys even know about. The true question is will they survive long enough to find out what happened to the long disappeared station and, if they do, what happens to them? https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240817-04 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/playbackstaticpod/feed.xml

Five Conversations Before Sleep Audio Drama A series of intimate 15 minute dialogues between two people in a relationship at the milestones that define a couple. Sometimes awkward, oftentimes relatable, this show captures the horror and ecstasy of the search for someone to love — but mainly someone to talk to. Best listened to immediately after waking up. For anyone who has ever said too much or not enough. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240807-03 RSS: https://feeds.simplecast.com/QfPbjT7C

[blue-opossum]

Dream State Navigation with More Control of Rocks & Tunnels

        Dream State Navigation with More Control of Rocks & Tunnels

        About 2 minutes and 15 seconds to read

        Tuesday night, 12 September 2023

        Dream #20,721-21

        Whether or not sleeping in a new place on the high floor of an apartment building in a big city or the unusual mattress that made me feel as if I was lying on a somewhat stiff sponge had a different effect on what is otherwise my usual dream state navigation (since childhood) in this part of my sleep cycle is unknown.

        I focus on the patterns in my familiar dreaming stage, where rocks, water, and caves always occur (and later, statues, which are technically the same physiological causality as rocks but further into my sleep response when REM atonia, or partial REM atonia, is more imminent). (If there is sustained protoconsciousness, Naiads usually appear with extraordinary realism, including water ripple effects.)

        When I mentally move the stones covering part of a tunnel about half-filled with water, there is somewhat of a fluttering effect as slightly different stone patterns replace previous ones. The changes are like a rapid brushing or sweeping effect only in one isolated area (mainly on the lower right, in my viewpoint, as I sleep on my left side). Usually, this causes shifts into other familiar stages of dreaming, but this was more defined and stable.

        There may have been an atypical proprioception influence from being in a high location, not that I am wary about heights. I feel a subtle (pleasing, not unpleasant) vestibular response when getting close to the edge of a high balcony. It creates a subtle kinesthetic effect.

        Another difference is that parts of other types of dream content are vaguely visible beyond the supposed underground tunnel, like activity in a city, rather than more underground scenes.

        Water (regarding the vividness and continuity of a particular aspect) models my sleep depth and dynamics. Stones are physical attributes of REM atonia (as are statues every sleep cycle). Tunnels are my anticipation of having less real-world identity and presence over time.

        In a later stage, only the legs of an ancient statue meet the ceiling of a cavern. This scene is a commonly modeled step in REM atonia recognition that would otherwise be my first dream of every sleep cycle since childhood - the walking, seemingly spontaneously kicking an unseen ball and falling backward to awake with leg myoclonus (as REM atonia is not yet complete). If there are small crumbling rocks from the "shell" of the legs of the statue, it is a precursor to potential wakefulness (implying REM atonia is also incomplete by this point).

        Image 1: A scene corresponding with my usual entry into my regular sleep cycle.

        Image 2: A regular scene of a second staging of REM atonia (after my first leg mobility theme as described above - though not every sleep cycle as with that one), though I perceive the "living" statue as quite large and ancient and not typically my dream self (depending on my sleep depth).

       Image 3: The Naiad factor occurs regularly (mainly only in the first quarter of my sleep cycle). Although a signification of protoconsciousness, it is induction (slow-wave sleep entry) - that is - the virtual opposite of the "intrusive" protoconsciousness personifying at the end of many sleep cycles to establish waking up (most often a celebrity or unknown personage because neither has any waking-life relevance to avoid pretending dream content of this nature has any "meaning").

[brooklynislandgirl]

The small confession does wonders in elevating her opinion of him. She nods. She knows exactly what he means. More often than not she's doing the same, either in the ER or in her clinic. Championing a hundred different causes in a hundred different ways. She wonders if he does it for the same reasons. It's easier to compartmentalise when her mind's occupied. Easier to ignore the things that would drive her right out of her skin if she didn't push it down and under the weight of everyone else's needs. That he defers and chooses to not comment on her compliment is rather extraordinary. Most people she knows would soak into it however slight the praise might be. She isn't exactly checking tick boxes of traits she admires but she does tuck the information away for later examination. "Oh, see…catfish? No can. Absolutely no can. Just a little too…muddy, maybe? Gritty? Just how I've had it, could be convinced t' give it anoddah try some day." She wrinkles her nose at the texture-memory of the last time she'd had it. But she's also not the kind of person who would adamantly refuse an offering from someone else, simply because it's not in her taste. Things like that get under her skin; the lack of gratitude and humility that so often goes hand in hand with today's society's sense of entitlement. Of course, that isn't something you run with off the cuff. "That feels like an unusual choice, f' someone who was brought up in a peaceful house. Especially when it is da pair of you." Oh, she wants to ask. And she curbs herself. The way he carefully chooses his words tells her the story isn't one he wants to tell right now. "A well travelled man. Always a plus. Did you evah have a favourite place? Somewhere ya keep wan go back to? Mebbe somewhere you have yet t' get to go but on ya list?" Beth finds this line of conversation fascinating. "Spent time in DRC while volunteerin' in Med….in Doctahs wi'out Borders." And by extension, it was how she'd both discovered and made friends amongst the Jabari, in Wakanda. She did, however, make the promise to keep those memories to herself, and doesn't bring it up. Nevah had chance t' go to Mount Kilimanjaro bu always wanted to. Might still, if ya evah wanna come along, but it wouldn' surprise me if we crossed ways before. My Gran'faddah still spends time around Japan." Beth smiles quietly as he tells her of this aspect of the Moon. She's not come from a culture or tradition where the celestial orb held masculine properties, and she could imagine the offense running as rampant as wildfire though her various kin at the very suggestion. But his words plant a seed in her to perhaps borrow some books from her hanai-sister's library, the woman having ties to the land of his god. She would hate to say something in ignorance that might cause offense between them. When he asks her though, she gives a little half laugh and demurely presses the back of one hand to her cheek rather than reach out and squeeze his forearm as she was tempted to do. "In some ways, yes." Genetically, if for no other reason. "My people have many stories, and some may seem contradictory dependin' on which side of da family you aks."

She lifts her head and turns toward the moon, inclining her head with reverence. "Some of dem, of us… know her as Hina-puku-iʻa. Or 'Hina-gathering-seafood', patroness of fishermen, and Hina-ʻopu-hala-koʻa, 'Hina who gave birth to all reef life'. We see her in her home so far above us. We feel her as she moves the dreams of Sea. She is da maddah of Maui, demigod-not island, and wife or lover of gods and heroes. And da word we use is…Tradition. My Tradition reveres her as a goddess, as a maddah and maiden and crone in her waxing and waning aspects. But my tradition reveres all nature. We see da Earth as our grandmaddah, an' we try to live as close t' Her will as we can. It tends t' get a small kine…complicated, as you might imagine. You sometimes get dis…lil…sound in ya voice, when you mention da Traveler. I take it you're not on good terms wi' him? An' if I'm ovah-stepping, please feel free to say so."

"I forget myself," he admitted, smile as thin as the moon in the beginnings of waxing crescent. "Always working. It's good to be reminded what exactly I'm working for." In a way, he is complacent in his overwork, at the disadvantage of his wellbeing, his relationships. "It does. Otherwise, what else will I miss." Balancing a line between putting on a good face and not selling something he isn't.

Everyone has hidden depths; he doesn't want to pry so soon. Beth was rather open with parts of her history. He doesn't think she is incapable nor weak with folding his mask. Accommodations should be basic decency. A man is supposed to walk on the side of traffic. Is that gentlemanly or jarheaded?

Confusion twists his forehead. "You can ask anything. I'll either answer or turn it down." Relaxing as she explained her family and childhood, the rank's association explaining a strained relationship. "Shrimp and catfish were definitely seafood I latched onto." Delicious treyf. "Never got around to liking bacon." The smell. He shook his head. It was a reasonable question for a navy brat to ask. "No. My father was the biggest pacifist I ever met. He was a rabbi. I was not the best son. My brother and I both joined the Marines. After…." Never a good way of putting this. He goes for diplomacy. Avoid bringing the evening down with admission of how terrible of a son, of a man, he had been. "The Corps and I parted ways, I spent a lot of time in SWANA and South America. Between….jobs, I spent some time in Japan, Thailand, and Hong Kong."

Darkness was his home; he would remain a beacon of moonlight to terrify those who needed terrifying. Offering hope to those who needed hope. A reminder for himself of who he was now. This life. What he fears in the dark is those he can't scare. And, perhaps, a reminder of who he had been.

"Hmm." He considers the sky once more. Too polluted to see the constellations he know would be there. Orion. Canis Major. Gemini. "I do feel a connection to it. 'Khonshu' means 'traveler' for how the moon travels across the sky and changes phase. He is the Embracer, Pathfinder, Defender, and Healer. The tide rushing though my veins as the moon rises. Fresh air in my lungs. It's not the same as when I was starting out with this." The relationship with Khonshu had soured. Yet, vestments continued to hold their own glow from his 'father's' blessing. "I do feel better when I am under the moon's light. 'Hina's smile,'" he mused, gloved hand on his chin. "I know of her but enough to know when I am out of my depth. There are as many tales about the moon and creation as there is people." He's always been practical, focusing on the tales of Khonshu's people. When a cartel with the names of the Western Zodiac, he's bound to do research. To say nothing of the Western Focused education he went through and discarded. Steven would know more.

"Do you feel her smile wax and wane? Is that part of your-" words fail him. He spends another moment facing the sky while they walk, rolling a gloved hand in his search. "Apologies. Magic has never been on my radar. Your school?" He doesn't know what he doesn't know.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

A small mystery

A small mystery had been bothering me for some time now.

It was in the first week of my stay in this new room, when I felt a curious sense of belonging here, this place that had been chosen for me because of a very old, long-ago dream that I had once shared with Katherine, and because of other things, as well.

It was about a year after I had arrived, I had been here with my friends for several weeks by this time, there were only seven of us remaining. Katherine was in her room and I had taken the guestroom, the one we'd been in before. There were five of us in the guestroom, Katherine and I plus four others. We had all taken to sleeping together for various reasons. Katherine and I were, as always, next to each other. I slept closer to the window, though, and the noise of the TV next door was enough to wake me in the night. And it was not unusual, that we could be woken. The nights were the quietest in the place, there was only a few of us still awake now, and there was no one in the other room to keep us quiet. The TV always had a few commercials, and Katherine always had the sound turned way, low, sometimes almost nothing at all. And I had heard from Katherine that she couldn't sleep on her back, for reasons which had to do with her neck, or maybe just a bad habit that she wanted to break. No one but me really minded the TV, even if there was nothing to watch. I would wake up every morning and watch the TV for a bit. And sometimes, with the sound off, it would just seem to me like I had been in a place like this, back in the past, I wouldn't even be sure if Katherine was with me.

That first morning, as I was waking up to the TV beingeped at me, I had heard a sound next to me, I had gone over and seen a thin girl with black hair, who slept under the covers at the end of the couch, which was next to where I had my bed. She had looked up at me as if she knew I was there. I had heard the TV go off, so I must have woken her up at some point in the night. And then she had fallen back asleep. But the look she'd had, while she was up, as I had looked at her and then at the tv, as if she knew I had been listening -- that memory had never gone away.

My own room was in the basement, at the end of a long corridor. One of the others, James, I think, had been sharing a room with a girl named Melissa, so they had the same room, in the same corridor. They didn't seem to really like each other, and had talked to each other a few times in the corridor, but that's about it. And yet, after they both had passed out one night, I had walked past Melissa's door, just before I went to James's room, and heard a voice, not Melissa's, saying, "Hello, Robert," with a kind of nervous quaver. I had heard this voice many times since, and it had never made sense to me, because Melissa was the only girl with the name "Robert" in the whole place -- the girl who was sleeping, James, had called her that. I had walked up to James's room -- they had locked the doors, and were asleep -- and then I heard the voice again.

I've learned to live with the feeling that I see things that no one else can see -- this has its good and bad aspects -- and this little mystery was not too bad, just a little annoying, at times.

There's a certain logic to this. If you look long enough, eventually, you'll see things that no one else will. It's because your mind has so much more information available to it than anyone else's, it just has to pick out that information from the information that does exist.

We sleep, after all. When we sleep, all our sensory information is shut down, our eyes, our ears, and even our noses. All of our other senses are open and on, and we see and hear so many other things. They are a constant background noise. But if we look just right, when our eyes flicker on and off as we shut down, maybe at the very moment we shut down (and no one knows if they ever do, no one's ever seen it happen, it could just be some optical illusion), we can see things. Sometimes we can see the very things that everyone else is not able to see. When I saw that girl's eyes in the morning, the eyes that no one else can see, it made sense in a way, it didn't seem like a thing that I had conjured up, as a way to justify how I've been feeling for the past few weeks.

Why would anyone put up with a place like this? Well, maybe we aren't so different from the others. No doubt the people who came to this place had wanted their own, as well, when they woke up. And maybe the rest of us would have had the courage to do this, with the courage that the person who woke up first needed. That night, when I saw the girl's eyes I knew what I had heard -- not that I knew anything about the other girls, or that I would be telling anyone who was here about it -- but I knew I had heard it, and that was a very small and very significant moment in my life.

"Robert," the girl's voice said, "I know what you heard. Do you understand what I mean?"

Of course I understood what she meant. No one else knew what she meant. I was the only one there who'd ever heard the name "Robert," who understood why she sounded like an adolescent girl and why it sounded like she didn't want to be, she sounded like she felt embarrassed. The world was like an enormous, ever-expanding room, full of an infinite number of things, and everyone was asleep. Even the person who knew how to turn the sound off sometimes still had to take her eyes off the TV for a second, just to see it.

[mianavs]

disclosing the truth

part 4 of Cathexis

a/n: a big reveal and another dangerous encounter with our favorite magician. plenty of Illumi to come in the next part

tw: smut

wc: 3k+

Cathexis

A night of fitful sleep awaited you after stripping off your dress, shoes, and makeup. Illumi visited your dreams that night, the way he usually did, except the dream was different. Your dreams of Illumi usually consisted of him walking beside you but, other times, he imprisoned you in the basement of his family’s estate on Kukuroo Mountain. This time was different in that you were in your current bed, immobile, and staring at him as he approached you. Illumi stoically reached out and brushed a lock of hair from your face while you stared utterly petrified. His hand traveled south until you felt a sharp pain behind your neck that blurred your vision and all you could make out was a cruel smile on Illumi’s beautiful face.

It was your last day at Heaven’s Arena. A call from your mother had come in that morning and you were summoned for a reunion back home. Immediately following her call, Hisoka called and asked to meet with you claiming it was important. While the little stunt he’d pulled the day before with his bloodlust had shaken you up, your impulsiveness overpowered your judgement and you agreed to meet him over lunch.

On the way to the café, your senses heightened and an overwhelming desire to not meet Hisoka overcame you. You pushed past your discomfort and approached the table where the magician sat. His smile was unusually genuine when you sat down but you matched it to the best of your ability despite the warning sirens going off in your head. Hisoka began making small talk but you were quick to cut him off; something that seemed to amuse him.

“I don’t have time, Hisoka, so if you could please cut to the chase and tell me what’s so important.” His brow quirked as he studied you until a text message flashed on your phone that captured his attention as well as yours. It was from your mother.

[Casual dinner at home. No need to wear the dress]

“Ah…you’re meeting with your family.” It wasn’t a question but you replied anyway hoping it would get him talking.

“Do you know who your family acquired the debt from?” His question caught you off guard but you didn’t like his insinuating tone and you grew irritated in a matter of seconds.

“No…I don’t.” Your body tensed uncomfortably at the grin that spread on his face. You didn’t like where the conversation was going but you couldn’t afford to lose Hisoka as a contact.

“…and wouldn’t you like to know?”

You sprang from your chair and a single word repeated in your mind as Hisoka’s grin turned sinister the longer you remained on your feet.

Leave

You disobeyed the voice in your head and sat back down. Hisoka could just be pulling a fast one on you but you still wanted to know—needed to know—what he said regardless if it was true or not. “Tell me what you know, Hisoka.”

“Have you ever felt as if you were being watched, Y/N?”

“Yes,” You answered wanting nothing more than to know what Hisoka knew and if it meant tearing down your act then so be it. “I know I’m being watched and I know who’s watching me.”

Surprise and something darker flashed on his face but it went as fast at it came and his face contorted to its usual smug expression. “But you don’t know why, do you?”

“I wouldn’t be here wasting my time with you if I did,” you answered bluntly. “But what do Illumi’s stalking tendencies have to do with my family’s debt?”

“Well Illumi told me the most interesting story yesterday. It was about a transaction that took place eighteen years ago between a family of assassins and a family of hunters. A betrothal between the hunter’s infant daughter and the assassin family’s eldest son instead of money for the debt owed to the assassins.”

The air thickened around you. You wanted to call him a liar and storm out of the establishment but you remained glued to your seat and processed everything he’d said. You opened your mouth to protest but the words died on your tongue. Denial and anger settled into your core and, in momentary weakness, your nen seeped out and enveloped you in wind gusts. It whipped your hair across your face and caused the table and its contents to shake. A scream from one of the patrons broke your fit of fury and your air settled then dissipated.

Hisoka frowned while you took a deep breath to relax and thought over the situation. It made no sense for Hisoka to lie about something like this. You thought about your parents and the parting advice they’d give you every time you parted ways:

“Always avoid assassins. They’re dangerous people.”

Did they want to avoid getting into more debt? If they debt was settled with a future engagement between you and Illumi, why work as hard as they did and make you follow in their footsteps as well? You got lost in your thoughts mulling over every interaction with your parents to recall some sort of hint of a betrothal with the Zoldycks. Nothing came to mind and you were more confused than ever until a possibility came to mind. Were your parents accumulating money to pay off the debt and liberate you?

“Looks like you’ve put two and two together,” Hisoka pointed out. You were about to leave but a startling thought crossed your mind that made you stop in your tracks.

“Does he know...we’re gathering the money to—”

“No, he doesn’t know.” Hisoka interrupted and the words left unsaid both startled and reassured you.

I didn’t tell him

You didn’t ponder too much on Hisoka’s motivations for not revealing your family’s possible scheme to Illumi simply because you didn’t have the head space for it at that moment. Uncovering Hisoka’s motivations would be a project for another time because you were certain that your paths would cross once again. While you were still shocked and upset by his revelation, you thanked Hisoka before leaving the café and heading home. You hoped your intuition was right and your parents were gathering money for that reason. If that wasn’t the case, however, you would need to prepare yourself for a life on the run because you doubted the Zoldycks would cross their arms and do nothing. They would do surely do what they did best; track you down and kill you.

Where the boisterous winds of your hometown had once filled you with joy, you headed straight to your ancestral home anxious about the conversation to come. There was nothing more important than uncovering the truth and with that in mind you bolted past the servants and grounds people stopping only when you were outside of your father’s study. With your heart thumping wildly in your chest, you knocked on the door twice and waited until your mother’s calm voice rang through the door.

“Come in, Y/N.”

Seeing your parents again after almost two years made your heart swell but the turmoil you were currently in stopped you from running into your mother’s arms. Instead you stood at the door with tears welling up in your eyes that cascaded down your face when a strangled cry voiced your distress.

“Is it true? Did you agree to marry me off to the Zoldycks?!”

They were too composed for your liking as if they’d expected you to find out about it on your own—like everything else in your life. However, this time you didn’t want to be on your own and wanted a normal life without an assassin betrothed and hunter parents you rarely saw.

“We promise you it will never come to that. We’ll pay off that debt even if we have to risk our lives.” Your father’s normally modulated voice was thick with emotion and it managed to expel your worst fears.

Your mother’s arms enveloped you and your father immediately joined her until they both held you in their arms each taking turns explaining everything to you. The debt your grandfather had accumulated from Zeno Zoldyck. The time the three of you were summoned to the Zoldyck mansion one day after your first birthday and your father was first made aware of said debt. With the three of your lives on the line, Zeno and Silva gave your father an ultimatum that he took while secretly vowing to dedicate the rest of his life to paying off the debt and saving you from a life as a Zoldyck wife.

Over the next three days, you and your parents counted the money you’d made since your last reunion and found out you were only a couple billion Jenny short of the original debt. You’d been relieved at first until your parents disclosed another aspect of your betrothal you hadn’t been aware of—the deadline of your engagement was your twentieth birthday. With your future at stake, you left home determined to take on as many jobs as you could and make enough money to cover the debt and any interest the Zoldycks would surely demand.

Your untarnished reputation among the jackpot community aided you in your efforts for employment and you were booked for three months straight. There was nothing more important than making money so you ended up ignoring Hisoka’s calls and texts. Illumi only checked up on you once, much less than before, and you couldn’t help but wonder if it was due to your encounter in Heaven’s Arena. Whatever the case, he hadn’t confronted you which meant Hisoka was still keeping your family’s secret—that was until you received a text message from him after you’d finished a job.

[Getting tired of chasing you. Meet me in Swardani or I might have something to tell Illumi ♥]

Not knowing how Illumi felt about the betrothal made you anxious. He could either be your ally in ending the betrothal or your enemy and tell his family about your plan. In the end, you couldn’t risk it and set off to Hisoka’s hotel in Swardani.

You got to the lavish hotel late that evening and wondered if your parents still owned their condo in the city to avoid spending money on a motel room. On the way up to Hisoka’s room, a plethora of scenarios played out in your head about what Hisoka would want but the one that stood out the most was him seeking a payment of some sort for helping you. It was the most logical but his mercurial character made it difficult to predict what he would demand.

The door swung open before you could even knock with his honeyed voice inviting you in. You steeled yourself before stepping inside his suite and letting the door close behind you. Hisoka greeted you with damp hair and a towel wrapped around his waist. He led you to the sitting room where he took a seat and motioned you to so the same. As you followed him, you tried to look anywhere but his chiseled torso but your inexperience with men had you curiously staring at his chest, abdomen, and broad shoulders. The smugness on his face broke your trance and you focused on the matter at hand.

“What do you want, Hisoka?”

“I wanted to see my new favorite toy. I missed you, Y/N.” His spoke plain calling you what you were to him and you might have slapped him for it had you not been working against time. “I don’t have time for this. If there’s nothing else, I’m leaving.”

You stood up and walked away but Hisoka’s hand gripped your wrist and pulled you back. Ready to lash out at him, you stopped when you noticed his playful grin was gone and his mouth was set in a hard line. The voice in your head that warned you of danger begged you to leave but Hisoka’s bruising grip wouldn’t let up no matter how hard you tugged.

“Not so fast. You owe me, Y/N. You didn’t think I told you about Illumi expecting nothing in return, did you?” The singsong-y voice that contrasted his threatening words alarmed you and multiple scenarios played out in your mind on how to leave Hisoka’s presence without suffering too much damage.

“I have no money.” You bit back and he chuckled, pulling you forward until you crashed against his hard form. Assaulted by the sweetness of his smell and the smoothness of his skin, you were defenseless against Hisoka’s mouth laying claim to your neck.

“There are other forms of payment, Y/N, and I just so happen to be a flexible creditor.” He purred against your ear. A wave of heat spurged from your core and spread to your torso and limbs.

“N-no!” Ripping yourself from the confines of his body, you staggered back a couple of steps. “You can’t— ”

“Ah, saving yourself for Illumi?” He laughed and it triggered your wrath.

You attacked first using Ko to focus your nen to your hand. Hisoka easily avoided your fist but it was the powerful winds of your nen technique that cut his skin. You avoided the blow Hisoka aimed at you and dashed to the door to leave, only to be dragged back by an invisible force that wrapped around your torse and your bruised wrist. You stopped breathing when, with the help of Gyo, you saw the pink stretchy material that connected you to its owner.

“I knew you’d be a fun toy to keep around. Now, let’s have fun.”

He gripped your head and attacked your lips in a bruising kiss. When you refused to respond no matter how much he sucked on your bottom lip, Hisoka bit down harshly and you gasped. His tongue delved into your warm mouth and a moaned escaped him that sent goosebumps all over your skin. Hisoka wasted no time in laying claim to your entire mouth, humming in pleasure when he lapped against your tongue and you let out a helpless moan. His kiss fogged your mind and all your thoughts focused on the warmth of Hisoka’s heavy tongue and the bubbling pleasure in your core. Before you knew it you were kissing him back, mimicking his tongue’s movement’s with your clumsy one but his responding moans encourage you to go further. Despite your bounded state, you pressed yourself against Hisoka with the primal need to feel his warmth overtaking your body and mind. Without warning, he pulled away from the kiss and the two of you were panting when his Bungee Gum disappeared and you were released.

“I won’t force you,” he offered, the seriousness of his tone catching you off guard. Your legs moved of their own accord and you found yourself walking toward the door with the voice in your head telling you to leave quickly. The ache in your core was still there, however, and the apex between your legs twitched angrily needing release. You had never done this with anyone but Hisoka’s touch left you hungry for more, so you whipped around and rushed to him, crashing your lips against his unexpecting ones.

Teeth clashed against teeth as you tried to match his fervor. Under normal circumstances, you would have been mortified from your inexperience but all reason was thrown out the window and you focused was on the budding heat from your sex and Hisoka’s tongue languidly trailing down your neck. He ran his hands down underneath your thighs and hoisted you up while you wrapped your legs around his waist and gripped his pink tresses. He groaned in approval when you tugged on his hair and he took you to his bed where he set you down.

The two of you stripped out of your clothes in seconds and tossed them aside before falling back onto the bed and finding each other’s lips once again. Hisoka pulled away after drawing blood from your bottom lip and settled in between your legs before sucking on a hardened nipple while flicking and pinching the other with his fingers. You shook like a leaf from his ministrations on your breasts and whined when he released your swollen nipple with a pop. Amused by your frustrated whines he traveled down your stomach leaving a trail of wet kisses and bite marks. You hoisted yourself up your elbows to see where Hisoka was going only to fall back on the bed when he flattened his tongue and lapped there.

“AH!”

“Mmm!”

Jolts of pleasure shot up your body. You arched your back and trembled as Hisoka licked, bit, and teased your bundle of nerves. The pleasure that had been building since you stepped into Hisoka’s suite finally erupted with one last bite on your clit and the release you’d been chasing washed over you and left you trembling from the aftereffects.

The daze you were in left you vulnerable for Hisoka to have his way with you and you only snapped out of it when he buried his large cock in your tight warmth.

“AH! H-hurts—it hurts!”

Tears dotted your eyes from the painful stretch but Hisoka paid them no mind. He bottomed out until his heavy balls slapped your skin while you gripped the sheets and cried. You searched for any semblance of compassion in Hisoka’s amber eyes but they were clouded in lust as he bore holes into your own—he was lost in his pleasure and yours was no concern of his.

When the pain did subside, you wrapped your shaky legs around his waist to bring some much-needed friction to your clit. While Hisoka selfishly chased his release, you worked on yours by greedily grinding your hips against his. The friction coupled with Hisoka’s slow deep thrusts had your cunt creaming and every time he pulled out, a sheen of white covered his thick cock that he admired before slamming it back inside.

Hisoka was an insatiable lover and you quickly lost count how many times the two of you came that night. Each time his warm release coated your walls and trickled out of you when he pulled out, the sight of you, a trembling and moaning mess, caused his cock to grow hard again and he’d plunge it back inside you.

When he finally had his fill of you, Hisoka collapsed on the bed next to you humming in satisfaction. You lied next to him until your body relaxed and breathing evened out. Sticky cum covered your aching legs and you wanted nothing more than to clean it off and leave. Gritting your teeth, you slowly shifted your legs towards the edge of the bed until they dangled off and touched the ground.

You hissed as your body screamed in pain from the unwanted movement, but you were determined to leave that night—at least until Hisoka’s arm shot out and pulled you back down on the bed.

“Ah! What are—”

“Just stay. It’s late and your body is sore.” He murmured before turning around and closing his eyes.

The voice in your head vehemently opposed Hisoka’s proposal but he had a point, your body was in no shape to move let alone walk the long way to your parent’s condo or a motel. You sighed in defeat and burrowed yourself in the sheets, your back to Hisoka, before eventually succumbing to sleep.

[ladyeliot]

It’s been a long, long time 

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Summary: You never knew what fate had in store for you, as if it was testing what it had offered you one day it took away from you the next. It was almost four years after Steve gave himself up to save the world, but you had never given up hope of being with him again.

Warnings: Angst. Disappearance. Fluff ending.

Word count: 2883

A/N: Captain America First Avenger / Avengers Endgame. Some of the dialogue is taken from the film. Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

Song: It’s been a long, long time - Harry James

1949.

The rumours of his possible return were fading with time, but hopes were not falling.

Nearly four years had passed since the end of the Second World War, and the consequences were soon felt worldwide, especially by those who had survived that tragic period. You had been present from start to finish, being a potent participant in the covert operations linking the US and the UK. Although you had not been on the front line fighting as a soldier, you had been on the front line commanding the actions they would take. In 1939 you became a member of the British Royal Military, then a recommendation from a superior officer led to you joining the Special Operations Executive, a British spy agency, changing your destiny, causing MI5 to contact you, and then you were seconded to the Strategic Scientific Reserve, a top-secret Allied war agency during World War II, created by President Roosevelt. Too many things happened in a single year, too many things that would change the course of your history, but the most important was yet to happen.

In 1943 you were assigned to Colonel Chester Phillips' training base, known as Camp Lehigh, where you were assigned to supervise the candidate division of Project Renaissance, the project that changed everything. Project Renaissance was a highly secret project run by the United States Government. Its aim was to create super soldiers to be deployed during World War II against the Axis powers, thus having a great advantage in strategic warfare, however things didn't go as planned and they only had one success, a young man from Brooklyn named Steve Rogers.

You could never deny that you didn't notice him the first moment you saw him, he instantly caught your attention in two ways. The first of them was his physical shape, he stood out for his small stature compared to the other cadets, and his physical appearance looked sickly, although his medical record didn't say anything about it. On the other hand, the other aspect that impressed and inspired you was his courage and endurance to face each of the tests they had to pass, as well as his cunning, all of which won you over, as well as the generals of the project, as he was selected for the Renaissance project. The time you spent together at Camp Leigh made you realise the determination and humility he possessed, traits that the other members of the group, or any other man you had met before, possessed only to a slight degree.

The day the experiment was carried out, that is, the injection of the Super Soldier serum into Steve was another turning point in your life, the young man who went into that machine was not the same as the one who would come out of it, at least for everyone present, a human being went in and a super soldier came out, although for you he was still the same Steve Rogers with 30 centimetres more height and greater muscle mass. From then on he became the secret weapon that would overthrow Hitler, as the leader of the project, Dr. Erskine, was killed which meant that Steve was the only one of his kind.

You would have liked to have been able to say that your relationship was moving towards a more effective environment, but you were really living in a period of war, plus your character did not easily fit in with the word love, it never really did, or rather, you had never shown any interest in any man. You were rude, you had suffered enough harassment in your job, a job by and for men, to become insensitive in several cases. You were selective with your friends and also with the people you could trust, that's why every time you felt any affection for someone you stopped it, and that's what happened with Steve at the beginning.

Frankly, there were not too many moments to show your affection for each other, nor to enrich it, but every occasion that brought you together, there were certain feelings in the air that were never expressed in words. You encouraged him to be more than a lab rat or a fair hand for the soldiers at the front, you also helped him from your position with the missions, which after his triumph in rescuing the soldiers of the 107th infantry, were assigned to him. You complemented each other, you understood each other in many aspects that no one had ever understood, you had faith in him and he in you, that is why deep inside you were waiting for the day when the war would end to discover what it would be like to be able to dance with him without any worries around you, but it was not that simple.

As if the universe itself was mocking you, everything it had offered you was taken away in a breath. Even if you had never extrapolated it, your heart shrank every time he marched on a mission in enemy territory, you used to find yourself behind the controls of the base of operations that commanded his missions waiting for his voice or news from him to indicate what the situation was, but the last time what you saw was different. It was all a consequence of your attack on HYDRA HQ, you had worked out a strategy to take out their leader, the Red Skull, Steve was inside and you later came in with the assault guard and became part of the operation. Things had gone a little shaky during the operation, as the Red Skull managed to gain access to a ship and almost escaped from the place, but at that moment you appeared as if you were a breath of air together with Colonel Chester Phillips to offer him the last chance for Steve to finish him off and gain access to the inside of the ship that was about to escape, but not before sharing your first and last kiss. Every day you remember the last words you said to him in person "Go get him." before watching him jump into the plane and disappear into the snowy mountains.

After that, the ship became a direct path to death unbeknownst to you. A few hours later, from the command post, you managed to maintain a direct connection with the ship, specifically with Steve who was still inside it.

"Come in. This is Captain Rogers. Do you read me?" you all heard from the intercom.

"Steve, is that you? Are you alright?" your heart raced as it did every time he was away from you on a mission.

"Y/N! Schmidt's dead.

That brought a breath of relief that neither of you had experienced for a long time, you could see a little light at the end of the tunnel that was getting closer and closer to you, but what you heard next put the light out again.

"What about the plane?" you asked still worried about his situation.

"That's a little bit tougher to explain," Steve's words were choppy.

It really was complicated, the plane was loaded with explosive devices and was clearly headed for New York City, that meant there was only one possibility and you all knew what it was. You tried to talk him out of it, to find a new solution, but time was running out.

"Y/N, this is my choice," a lump formed in your throat at those words. "Y/N?"

"I'm here," you managed to say with watery eyes and a hand to your lips.

"I'm gonna need a rain check on that dance," you heard through the intercom, as a sharp gust of air rushed in between his words.

"Alright," you hid a soft sob. "A week, next Saturday, at the Stork Club."

"You got it," he said firmly, making it seem real that he was going to show up there on Saturday.

"Eight o'clock on the dot. Don't you dare be late. Understood?"

"You know, I still don't know how to dance," a wistful smile appeared on your face at his words.

"I'll show you how. Just be there," you said almost begging him.

"We'll have the band play somethin' slow," Steve picked up the pace of his words, "I'd hate to step on your...

That was the last time you heard his voice, the line connecting the intercom to Steve went static with a soft continuous noise, that's when the tears flowed freely down your cheeks.

"Steve? Steve? Steve?"

Of course, life puts us all to the test, we believe we need redemption for the acts committed in the past, that often makes us lose hope that better times will come.  Almost four years have passed since those last events, since you shared your first and last kiss with your Captain America, since you heard his last words and since you felt that thing called love. Now your life had been turned upside down, you had dreamed for too long of meeting him, of seeing his face again and not only through those war films, but your life went on and you couldn't keep yourself stuck thinking about him, that's why you had decided to leave the Strategic Scientific Reserve and go into a new project with Howard Stark, called S.H.I.E.L.D.

It was unusual for the month of January to have that warm morning out, although it was actually quite comforting as it had brightened up your day, and even when you got home you opted to start cooking to the rhythm of whatever song was playing on the radio, which was unusual for you. The open windows allowed the sun's rays to stream into the living room, offering that homely touch that the little house in the middle of a residential neighbourhood lacked. Due to your countless projects and missions in the SSR you had not been able to enjoy home life as much as you would have liked, although it was really your decision, that house was too quiet and too big for you alone, although the radio offered you the company you sometimes needed.

As if it were a special event you had brought out the table linen and arranged the table in the parlour to eat there for the first time, normally you used the table in the kitchen, for you did not waste too much time on your meals, but this day was a new beginning, a new year, a good time to work out new habits. You opted to open a bottle of wine, which had been a gift from your dear friend Howard Stark, and poured yourself a glass while you waited for the chicken to make its acquaintance in the oven. The rhythmic melody of Nat King Cole along with your glass of wine lifted spirits that hadn't been this high for some time.

"Love is all that I can give to you," you intoned as you walked around the kitchen.

The midday seemed to be going smoothly, until a crashing noise from the front door brought you to a screeching halt. "Ogh, Mrs. Foster," you said to yourself before taking a sip from your glass of wine to fill your spirits. Mrs Foster was the neighbour from across the street who was always knocking on your door whenever she could, hoping to whisper about the other neighbours and glean as much information about you as possible, the funny thing was that she always barged in at the most inopportune times.

"I'm coming!" you exclaimed, taking off your apron and placing it on the counter. "I'm there!"

When you reached the front door you took five seconds to exhale the air inside you, position your dress correctly, take another breath, roll your eyes and expose a wide grin before you very quickly lowered the door handle. We've been talking before about all the turning points that changed your life and shaped your destiny, okay, that was one of them, maybe the most important one of all, the one that set the rest of your life on track.

"Hello Mrs. Fos-!"

Your voice disappeared, your vocal cords seemed to break at that moment, your wide, false smile also vanished as if it had never been on your face, your eyes seemed to have no eyelids and your lungs ran out of air, leaving you breathless. What you saw when you opened that door was your whole life, every moment appeared in front of you as if it were a frame. They say that happens when you are about to die, but it happened to you when the person you had loved had returned from the dead and was prostrate before you. You couldn't tell whether your reaction was the most humane or what someone else would have done in your place because you had never met anyone who had. Soldiers sometimes took long months to return home after the war ended, but it had taken Steve almost four years to do so.

Perhaps there had been hundreds or thousands of times you had imagined that moment, and now you didn't know what to do, your limbs were stiff, you were grateful for it or you would have collapsed in those moments. You kept holding the doorknob tightly, while he stood there on your porch staring at you, not knowing what to do. They were the longest minutes of your whole life, or maybe they were only a few seconds, you didn't know how time worked in those moments, but that didn't matter, your emotions recovered when you looked into his eyes, those blue eyes that you had dreamed of so many nights and they were watery, that was the sign that told you that this was not a dream, it was real life.

The air opened again and passed through your lungs in the form of a gasp, you shared the wateriness of his eyes in yours and in a moment you were wrapped in his arms. You could feel him again, or rather you could feel him around you for the first time. His arms were around your back bringing your body closer to his.

"You're... here." you murmured against his chest almost afraid that your words would make him disappear again.

"I'm home," he whispered against your forehead before kissing it and pulling away to look at your face.

It really was him, you noticed the odd changed feature, as if the years had passed him by more quickly, but there was no doubt that it was Steve. He placed his hands on your cheeks cradling your face, that sensation made you close your eyes as you placed your hands on his. Gingerly, you felt his breath collide against you and the longing for his lips that had haunted you for so many years came to an end.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, leaning his forehead against yours.

"No, you're home," you murmured, taking his hand and bringing his palm to your lips.

The open windows of the living room let out the melody of the radio, as if it were one of those Hollywood feature films with its own soundtrack. For a few long minutes you stood there on the porch of your house, oblivious to everything around you, oblivious to curious stares or if the chicken was burning in the oven, there was nothing more relevant than the two of you.

After a few minutes without taking your eyes off each other you took his hand and went inside your home, there were no unnecessary questions, no comments that could break the moment, your gazes were pleased to observe each other and as if your thoughts were connected and the person in charge of playing the songs on the radio knew it, one of Steve's favourite songs began to play. Harry James' voice came into the room, giving you the moment you had wanted for four years in your case, but for Steve it had been many more. 

“Never thought that you would be

Standing here so close to me

There's so much I feel that I should say

But words can wait until some other day”

His arm found position around your waist and your face found position on his chest. You listened to his heartbeat work to the rhythm of the melody, you could never have imagined ever feeling like this again, you would have made a pact with the devil on too many occasions to feel it. It was so unreal that you had to lift your face from his chest to look at his face again, to find out if it really was Steve in front of you, it was. 

“Kiss me once, then kiss me twice

Then kiss me once again

It’s been a long, long time

Haven't felt like this, my dear

Since I can't remember when

It’s been a long, long time”

Life had offered you a new opportunity to enjoy it together, and you were never going to miss it.

“You'll never know how many dreams

I've dreamed about you

Or just how empty they all seemed without you

So kiss me once, then kiss me twice

Then kiss me once again

It's been a long, long time”

Taglist Open (DM)

MAIN MASTERLIST

[love-and-monsters]

Siren Song

M monster X F human, 4,660 words

I initially had other plans for the story I was posting today, but inspiration really struck for this one, and I decided to write it as an early birthday gift to both myself and this blog! My birthday’s tomorrow and this blog turned three last week! Thanks everyone who follows me, it’s really nice to have so many people appreciating this little space with me. 

Anyway, this story involves a mysterious siren calling to you at night. But is he friend or foe? And can he really give you what you desire?

There was something singing in the depths of the castle.

You had been in the castle for only a few days. It was a job, a fairly unique job and one you took with no small amount of pride. The castle was undergoing restoration and you, along with several other people, had been called in to carefully restore different aspects of the castle.

You were repairing the beautifully embroidered tapestries that hung throughout the castle. For a couple of days, it had even been nice. The work was interesting, there were other craftspeople around the castle to talk to, and the pay was decent. Admittedly, the castle was warm (it was the middle of summer and there was obviously no air conditioning) but other than that, it was overall a great stroke of fortune that you’d gotten this job.

And then the singing had started.

At first, you’d thought it was something you were just dreaming about. You’d wake in the morning with the last notes echoing in your mind and the fading remnants of music-filled dreams. Exhaustion had followed you throughout the day, like your sleep had been restless. No matter how early you went to bed, you woke with a foggy head.

And then the sleepwalking started.

It started small, though that hadn’t really been that much less concerning. You’d woken up standing across your room, staring at a wall. For a time, you’d chalked it up to the stress of a new job and a new location and hadn’t told anyone.

But the longer you stayed in the castle, the worse it became. You started waking up in the hall. In other rooms. Waking up became a slower and more difficult process. You would become aware that you were up and out of bed, but the soothing, wordless singing that surrounded you prompted you to keep dreamily moving forward. There was usually a full minute of gradual awakening before you grew aware enough to stop yourself.

It really started to worry you when you woke up in a part of the castle you didn’t recognize. Technically, there were no areas that were off limits, but there were places that you just didn’t regularly go in the course of your job. And the dank, slightly moldy basement was one of them. There had been a moment of awful, gut-wrenching panic when you realized that you were in pitch-blackness, so dark that there was no difference between closing your eyes and opening them. Panic had seized you for a moment and you’d turned, fumbling in blind panic, and sprinted from the basement.

In hindsight, bolting down a damp stone hallway in pitch blackness wasn’t the smartest move you could have made. Really, it was lucky you didn’t slip and break a leg, or worse. After you got through your bolt of panic, you’d calmed enough to slow down and, a few seconds later, you’d come across the stairs. They’d led up out of a trapdoor and into a part of the castle you’d recognized.

It was relieving that you had found your way back, but the experience had rattled you. At the dinner you and some of your coworkers shared, you told them your problem.

“Dude,” said Monica, who was focused in furniture restoration, “that’s fucked up.”

“I know.” You slumped back, picking listlessly at your food. “I have no idea why it’s happening.”

Bennet, who was reorganizing the castle library, shrugged. “I heard that sometimes you can sleepwalk if you’re in an unusual location and really stressed. Are you really stressed?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t feel that stressed out.”

“It’s a big responsibility,” Cory said. You’d worked with him a couple times, restoring some of the old clothing in the castle. “Maybe you’re more stressed than you realize?”

“How can I be that stressed without realizing it?” you asked. “Look, I don’t know why it’s happening, I just want it to stop.”

“There’s a doctor in town,” Bennet said helpfully. “I got the number of the office when we got here. I don’t know how soon you can get an appointment, but it’s something.”

“Thanks,” you said. “Send me the number.”

“And,” Monica added, “we can keep an eye out for you, if you want. If we see you wandering around, we’ll wake you up.”

Admittedly, you didn’t have a lot of hope in that solution. Everyone was usually asleep when you were wandering around. But you smiled at her anyway. “Thanks. That’d be nice.”

“Could you move something in front of your door?” Cory suggested. “A big piece of furniture? Maybe if it’s hard to get out of your room, you’ll at least stay put.”

You shrugged. “I can try, I guess.”

There was a wardrobe in your room that you managed to pull in front of the door before bed. It was difficult enough to move that you figured you’d wake up before you managed to actually get out of the room. It was only a temporary solution, but given that the doctor’s office couldn’t even see you until next week, you didn’t have much of a choice.

You felt more secure as you got into bed, but there was still a nervous twist in your stomach as you got into bed.

Dimly, you were aware that you were moving. It felt like you were floating under the surface of a black lake, bobbing peacefully. Distantly, you could hear wordless song. It was mournful, but beautiful and utterly heart-wrenching. You moved toward it, the haunting sound of it tugging at your chest.

A voice whispered in the back of your mind. Shhh, it murmured. Come to me. It’s all right. Shhh.

The voice was soft and soothing, but you could feel that something was wrong. You weren’t supposed to be here. Where were you? Relax, the voice murmured. Just relax. It’s all right.

No, this wasn’t right. This wasn’t right! Panic surged through you and you blinked your eyes open, jerking out of your stupor. The voice started to speak, but as you woke, it grew faint and garbled before vanishing entirely.

You were in the basement again. The walls were still damp and stone, with a slightly fuzzy substance on them you really hoped was moss. You could hear water flowing from somewhere nearby. Behind you was completely dark, but in front of you, there was a faint bluish glow.

You had no idea where you were, but you were reluctant to head back into the gloom behind you. Hesitantly, you started forward into the faint glow.

The noise of running water got louder as you headed toward the light. The hall ended, stretching out into a long, perpendicular tunnel. A river ran through it, with only a thin bit of solid ground on either side. The walls were covered with some kind of glowing lichen. It would have been beautiful, if you had known where you were.

There was a loud splash from nearby. Your head snapped toward the sound, but all you saw was something slender and dark slipping under the surface. Worry tightened around your stomach and you started backing toward the hall.

One of your feet landed in a puddle of water and you felt your balance shift. You whirled your arms frantically, but you overbalanced and slammed down on the ground, hard. Nothing was broken, but something was definitely bruised and the wind had been knocked out of you. Groaning, you pushed yourself up.

Something was watching you from the water. You could see the upper half of its head poking up above the surface, dark eyes focused on you. It moved toward the edge of the water, shape growing clearer as it approached.

You were pretty sure you were still asleep. You didn’t feel asleep. You felt achy and cold and terrified. But there was no way you could be awake. Because the thing that was watching you from the water was a merman.

He had dark skin, but a sort of bluish-black rather than the brownish black of human skin. His tail swished through the water behind him, sleek and black. A long fin ran down the top of his tail, spreading into the long, surprisingly delicate-looking fin at the end of his tail. One of his hands slipped out of the water and you saw that it had short, sharp claws and webbing spread between each finger. His hair was long and, at closer inspection, probably not actual hair. It looked like the long, thin tentacles of a jellyfish, and you could see them twitching slightly in the water.

A thrill somewhere between excitement and terror passed through your stomach. You could feel your breath coming in shallow, quiet gasps. The merman looked at you for a moment, apparently sizing you up, then hummed a few notes.

The noise was ringing and bell-like, resonating in the hollow of your chest. “You were the person I heard singing,” you said, almost whispering. “You drew me here, didn’t you? It was your voice I heard in my head.”

The merman smiled. His teeth were all needle-sharp. Your breath caught in your chest. In a single, smooth motion, he placed both his hands on the edge of the stone side and heaved himself up out of the water.

You barely had time to register what you were doing before you were on your feet and fleeing down the hall.

You weren’t entirely sure how you managed to get out of the basement. It was a blur of skidding around turns and running down twisting halls. Eventually, you found a doorway and bolted up it into the castle.

When you got back to your room, you saw the wardrobe shoved haphazardly off to the side. Apparently, moving it aside had failed to wake you after all. Or perhaps you’d been awake the whole time and just been under some sort of spell. Either way, it didn’t seem like there was anything you could do to stop yourself from leaving your room.

You spent the rest of the day trying to think of a new plan. Just leaving was, technically, a solution, but it was one that made you sort of nervous. If you ditched this project, your employers would almost certainly trash you to others in the community, and embroidery restoration was niche enough that if you failed this job, you would probably never work again in the field.

Admittedly, weighing that against the possibility of dying and being eaten shouldn’t have been much of a contest, but you’d spent practically your entire life trying to get a job in a field you were passionate about. The fact that you were going to have to run from it because of some weird creature skulking in the basement of the castle was frustrating. You attempted to pack your bags several times, only for sour disappointment to stop you.

By the time evening rolled around, you had a different plan.

This thing was trying to draw you in for some reason. You were going to make it regret that.

The kitchen had a whole bunch of knives, because you were expected to make your own food. You took one of the smaller ones, wrapped it in some cloth that you stitched together in a sort of makeshift sheath, and returned to your room.

You’d always woken up around the same time at night. Tucking the sheath around your waist with another piece of cloth, you grabbed your phone and set an alarm for about 3 A.M. You weren’t sure if it was going to entirely wake you up, but it was something. Maybe it would at least be loud enough to shock you out of it.

Even with all that, you didn’t feel comfortable sleeping. You sat on your bed, legs tucked underneath you, staring out the window. The moon rose, nearly full, over the trees in the distance. The moments ticked slowly by. Drowsiness lapped at you, threatening to pull you under. Your blinks grew longer. Your thoughts slowed. You were so tired. You could feel your body falling asleep around you, drifting between sleep and wakefulness.

There was music coming from somewhere. Beautiful, wordless singing that rang like a bell. It was full of longing and desperation and a deep, endless sorrow. It drew you inexorably. You were moving before you even realized what was happening.

A distant part of your mind recognized that this, regardless of the knife, was a bad idea. But you couldn’t stop. The music pulled you in and dulled your conscious mind until all that was left was the desire to go toward that beautiful song.

Down the halls, through a partially-hidden passage, and into the basement. Your mind came and went like waves on a shore. A few times, you nearly woke up entirely, but then a swell of notes would push your thoughts back into sleep.

The deeper you got into the basement, the harder you fought against it. One of your hands slipped to the knife at your waist. Even with your hand on the knife, you were nervous. The song slowed your movements significantly. There was a solid chance you wouldn’t be able to actually use the knife before he got to you.

The sound of water grew louder and you stepped into the glowing blue hall. In the middle of the water. His mouth was open and from it issued the song that was ringing in your head. It was almost a physical presence this close, a weight you could feel wrapping around you.

A voice whispered in the back of your mind. Welcome back. Come to me. Join me.

You felt yourself kneel next to the water, bending over the edge. He swam up to you, pulling himself out of the water. One of his hands came up and cradled your cheek and chin. His skin was cool and smooth and his claws pricked against your skin like needles. The way he was holding your head made you feel like he was seconds from kissing you.

The song was still there, but it was fainter. Your will was seeping back into your limbs. Your fingers tightened on the knife and, in one swift motion, you pulled it out and pressed the tip of it to his throat.

He froze. The song stopped entirely and your head cleared. The knife pressed a little more firmly against his neck. “Let me go.”

He made an odd clicking noise in the back of his throat. I think I could say the same to you, no?

You’d heard the voice before, but this was the first time you really registered it as coming from him. It was almost as musical as his song, though it echoed exclusively in your head, not in your ears.

“If you don’t let go of me,” you said in a tense voice, “I will cut your throat right now.”

The hand against your face slipped away. You sat back. He eased his head back from your knife, then turned and plunged sinuously into the water.

He swam a short distance away, then poked his head up again to watch you. When he saw that you hadn’t left, he emerged further, watching you with clear interest. You stared back at him. There was a part of you that wanted to run, to get away from this obviously dangerous creature. But a larger part of you felt you had the upper hand, at least temporarily, and you wanted to end this. “You keep calling me here. Why?”

He plunged under the water, tail rippling after him. For a moment, you thought he had simply left, then his head broke the surface. There have not been people living in my castle for many years.

“Your castle?” you repeated, unable to keep incredulity out of your voice.

He moved closer with a powerful stroke of his tail. My castle. It is my home. My territory. He rolled onto his back, revealing a slim, muscular torso.

“Are you drawing us down here to get rid of us?” you asked. Your hand tightened on your knife handle. The merman looked at you, then plunged under the surface. If you focused you eyes very carefully, you could just barely see him swimming, long, powerful tail flexing and twisting like an eel’s.

Abruptly, he sprang from the water in front of you. With his hands splayed on the stone, heaving his upper body above the waves, he was taller than your kneeling form. You could see the individual filaments of his hair. The sharp, oddly pretty structure of his bones. The intelligent gleam in his dark eyes.

You are an interesting human. Such desires… Are you unique in your kind?

“What are you talking about?”

The merman slouched back into the water, still watching you carefully. I am a siren, my dear. We can sense your deepest desires and dreams.

“You’re psychic?” you asked, with cautious skepticism. The siren made a clicking noise again. You were pretty sure it was him laughing.

To an extent. I can sense your desires. They guide my song, help draw you in. He eyeballed you from the water, expression inscrutable. You are of interest to me.

“In what way?” you asked. The siren lifted his head close to yours. You hesitated. You weren’t sure how fast he could move and if he could get his teeth into your throat before you could swing the blade. Slowly, you pulled the blade forward. If he was going to try and take you out, he would come with you.

He didn’t seem to notice. I have seen many humans in my time here, though few stay for long. Human desires are often similar to one another. Accomplishment. Affection. Admiration. Simple things at their base. But yours… He squinted at you, tail swishing back and forth. You differ.

You sort of wished that was more surprising to you. But you were aware that you were somewhat different from other people. You were a loner. You preferred being in nature, separate from people. Sometimes, you felt something pulse through your veins, something wild, and you wanted more than anything to slip into the trees and shed your skin and be one with the world around you.

The siren’s eyelids fluttered and he tilted his head back. Yes. That desire. It’s unusual. It… intrigues me.

“And that’s why you called me down here?” you asked. The siren pulled himself closer to the shore, folding his elbows over the stone lip.

I saw your dreams for days. And I found them… attractive. Shimmering, pearly lights glowed along his side for a moment in a striking display. I have been here for a long time. But I have not had a companion. I have been wishing for another to hunt with. To be with. His hand moved out of the water and caught your face, holding it. The tips of his claws scratched lightly along your cheek, sending a pleasant tingling through your body. Your breath caught. I can sense your desire even now. I can sense your longing.

You sucked in a short breath. His face was so close to yours. He was handsome, oddly enough. And the sensual sound of his voice in your head was attractive. “How do I know you’re not going to draw me into the water and kill me?”

One of his hands struck out, seizing your wrist. The knife twisted from your grip. His body surged out of the water, other hand seizing your shoulder. His weight against you made it hard to move. But more than that, you were aware of his mouth at your throat.

His lips brushed your skin. You froze. For a moment, his lips worked at your throat, like he was nibbling without teeth. You felt yourself tremble.

If I wanted to kill you, I would have. You could not stop me. I could rip your throat out, pull you under and drown you. He pulled back. But I have no desire to do so. I wish for a companion. And in you, I sense a kindred spirit. One who belongs to the fierceness of the waves and the hunt. This is what you desire, is it not? A release from the restrictive human life? You need not worry about the minutia humans fret over. You can be free.

Desire welled inside you. You pressed your lips together, trying to keep your good sense in charge. “I can’t just… I can’t just decide that. I need time to think.”

Of course. Think on it. I will sing again tomorrow night. Come to me with your decision. With that, he turned and vanished into the water.

You seized the knife and stood. There was already no sign of him. With apprehension and desire fighting in the hollow of your chest, you turned and left the water.

Luckily, you remembered the way out. You climbed out of the basement and sat against the wall. Your legs were trembling. Already, what you had just experienced seemed unreal. But it had been real. You were sure of it.

“Hey, are you okay?” You looked up. Monica was peering down at you, concern written over her face. “Were you sleepwalking?”

“Yes,” you said. “Pretty much.” Monica offered you a hand and you took it, letting her haul you to your feet. You leaned on her a little bit as you headed back up to your room.

Monica walked with you all the way back to your room. “Are you sure you’re doing okay?” she asked you, looking cautiously into your face. You nodded. “You’ve got a doctor’s appointment about this, right? It’s probably not good to be wandering around the castle all the time. It’s not the safest place ever.”

You glanced up at her. “Can I ask you something that’s maybe a little weird?”

She nodded, sitting on your bed next to you. “What’s up?”

You took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It’s… okay, I know there’s not a lot of details here, but if you suddenly got this opportunity to do something you’ve always kind of wanted to do, but it was something you didn’t really have any experience with and it also means you have to leave everything you know behind, what would you do?”

Monica blinked at you. “Woah. That’s a lot. Did you get a new job offer or something?”

“Uh,” you said. “Yeah, I guess it’s something like that.”

Monica sat down on the bed next to you. “I mean, we don’t know each other that well, so I don’t think I can totally tell you what to do here. But I mean, maybe you should think about what you really want. If this is something that you really want, even if it means you’re giving up a lot, maybe that means something. If you think it’s really worth going, even if you’re losing a lot, I think you should at least go for it.”

“Even if it means leaving everything behind? And knowing you might never get any of it back?” you said cautiously.

Monica thought for a moment, tilting her head back. “Hm. That’s a really big decision. You can’t try it out for a little bit, see how it goes?” You shook your head. “Well… Like I said, I can’t tell you what to do. But I kind of think that maybe… if it’s something you really want, something you think you might never have another shot at, you should go for it. I mean, I think it’s better to regret a shot you did take than a shot you didn’t, right? You’ll never spend your life wondering what could have happened if you didn’t take it.”

You nodded. “Thank you.” She smiled and stood up, sensing that the conversation was over.

“No problem. I’ll see you later.”

You stayed in your room most of the day, fussing with your belonging. There wasn’t much in the way of things you could actually bring underwater, but you weren’t overly attached to most of it anyway. You hadn’t spoken to your living family in years, and the few objects you owned from them weren’t things you were all that inclined to keep.

The only thing left to do was to wait for night.

It was approaching midnight when you heard the singing echo through the castle again. There was no need to fight it this time. You let the music overwhelm your mind and followed it down into the basement.

The siren was there, waiting for you when you stepped into the glowing hall. He dipped his head slightly at you, eyes gleaming. I wasn’t sure you were going to show up. But I am glad you did.

You knelt next to the water. “You were right. I want to be… something else. I don’t think I belong in this world.”

No. You were built like me. For the swiftness and precision of the hunt. For the simple pleasure of moving with the current. For a life without the overcomplicated structure of humanity. He bobbed closer to you, stretching a hand up out of the water. You reached down to take it. His scaled skin was cool against yours. He tugged at your arm, gently but insistently pulling you toward the water.

“Hold on.” You stripped down to your underwear and carefully slipped into the water. It was a cold shock and you shuddered. The siren swam around you. His tail fins brushed against your bare legs and you felt his hand trail down your back.

Relax. His voice was soothing, echoing through every corner of your brain. Shh. Go under and I will help you.

He pulled at you abruptly and you sank under the water. It was too dark too see. You could only feel him swimming around you. His mouth pressed abruptly to your neck and you felt a thrill of fear. For a moment, you were sure he had lied, that he was going to tear out your throat and kill you.

His teeth, needle-sharp, sank into your neck. Something cold flowed from him into your veins. Your head spun. His voice echoed through your mind, musical as his song. Shh. Don’t fight. Sleep now.

There was no fighting it. You sank into oblivion.

You grew slowly aware of the world around you. Your eyes flickered, trying to open. Shh. No need to struggle. Let it happen.

You tried to move your legs, but they felt wrong. They were long, oddly long, and wouldn’t move separately. As you grew more aware of your body, you realized they weren’t legs anymore. It was a tail. A long, powerful tail.

You looked down at yourself. Not only could you see, but you could see fairly well in the dark water. Your entire body felt like powerful, corded muscle. Your mouth was full of teeth and you were super aware of the way the water shifted around you.

Awake, so soon? You are tough, aren’t you? You shifted to look at the siren and stopped. Beautiful iridescent lines and stripes ran along his body. It was beautiful. You couldn’t stop staring. The siren gave a clicking laugh. Like what you see?

I didn’t notice that when I was human, you said. Speaking was almost instinctive, as easy as pushing the words toward him.

No, I don’t think humans can see very well. He reached out, resting his hand on your hips. Were they still considered hips if you had a tail? You are striking yourself. He lowered his head, pressing your foreheads together. I was about to show you how to hunt. But perhaps that can wait for a bit.

We have time, you agreed. You wondered if he could feel what desires you had now. The motion of his mouth against your neck suggested that he could.

[writingbakery]

“what’s new, pussycat?”

this work is my absolute pride & joy, one that i hold very near & dear to my heart! it was previously written for a different fandom, & ive reworked it to fit here. i hope you love it as much as i do, & yes - there will be more parts to this story! ✨taglist; @katsukisprincess @secondhand-trash @redbeanteax @monst @shinhoetoshi @shinsouzone @togasknifes

[pairing; panther familiar! hitoshi shinso x green witch gn! reader]

[warnings; fluff, meet-cutes, magical au, bitchy witches, soft words, strangers to lovers]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

for a green witch in a relatively small town, you’ve got a pretty good life.

you’re not the most powerful witch around; your talents are more centered around healing, crafting potions & spells, but you don’t mind. you like helping people, whisking away their problems & leaving them happier than when they walked into your little shop.

your shop is perfectly situated right at the forest line at the end of town, making it easy for you to restock your supply. you don’t get many customers, but you treat everyone like they’re most important, focusing on what they need & providing them with just what they’ve asked for. you don’t have many friends, most of the other witches not thinking much of your talents or your profession - they were all more modern witches, using electricity & technology to help others - but the ones you do have treat you nothing but kindly.

you’ve got everything you need in your little shop; a tiny apartment just above it, a loyal customer base, & the forest to soothe your worries.

the only thing you don’t have is a familiar.

you turned twenty six months ago, the age at which every witch receives their familiar. sometimes, it happens sooner, sometimes it takes a little longer. you’re just a hint impatient.

you’ve been ready for your familiar since your powers emerged at six years old, little flowers & vines bursting from chubby fingers & small palms. your friends even had a betting pool set up, sero swearing that you would get a kitty cat, & kirishima insisting it would be a rabbit.

you don’t care what your familiar is. you just want to meet them.

you’ve nagged your mother more than enough over the years, whining & complaining at your lack of a companion - both the animal aspect of them, & the human. familiars often became their witches’ best friends, & on most occasions, have fallen in love with them.

it’s a romantic concept, really. two magical beings, tied together forever by their shared powers, falling in love.

you’ve had dreams about it. kaminari makes fun of you for it whenever he can.

still, you don’t need to fall in love with your familiar. you love them already for supporting & adding to your magic, even if you haven’t met yet. you just know you’re going to be the best of friends.

you also side with sero. you’re definitely hoping for a kitty.

you alway tell your friends you don’t mind being patient, but secretly, you wish your familiar would speed things up a bit.

the other witches in town don’t tease you outright, a bit more poised than that, but you’ve heard more than enough whispered giggles of “bet it’s a fly, & it just can’t find them” & “maybe [y/n]’s just too weak for one”. you know they consider you a joke, a laughingstock, but you do your best to ignore them, burying your head in your spellbooks & inventing new potion strains.

you’re good at what you do, & that’s all that matters. but with a familiar, at least you’d fit in. you’re not expecting anything huge, not like the wolf inasa got, or the pheonix momo was gifted. you just want something that’ll care for you, help with your little tasks & fill the hole in your heart.

you even have a little side room set up in your shop for them, complete with a small fluffy bed & lots of pillows. kaminari had wrinkled his nose at the setup. “what if they don’t like all the fluff?” he’d asked - his familiar, an overexcited ring tailed lemur named mina, had absolutely destroyed the setup kaminari made for her, choosing to snuggle the taller witch in her human form every night. you had a separate betting pool with kirishima & bakugou about when those two would finally start dating.

mostly, you just hope your familiar won’t be disappointed with you. you aren’t the fastest on a broomstick, or the smartest with spells. your potions are good, but they take you a while to brew, & you don’t get that many customers. you’re definitely not the best witch in town, but you try your best, & you hope that counts for something.

it ends up counting for a lot, even if you don’t realize.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

you’re looking through your little vials & plants one day, crafting a rejuvenation potion for mrs. parks - she’s got a garden to maintain if she wants to win first place in the landscaping competition next week, & at 85 it doesn’t always come naturally - when you realize you’re clean out of starflower. the pretty little orange & yellow foliage always added an extra boost to your energy potions, & you chance a glance out of your shop windows. it’s a nice day, sunny but not too hot, & you easily tug on your jacket & basket to gather some from the forest.

the air is warm, floaty with the smell of spring & you bask in the pleasant heat of the sun as you walk. the forest is unusually quiet, a sort of energetic thrum hovering just under the surface & normally, you would be concerned. but the day is so lovely, the warmth seeping into your bones & you brush it off as a slight imbalance in the woods.

you find the right clearing relatively quickly, sitting cross legged amidst the flowers & beginning to pluck them. you coo to the brightly colored petals gently, asking them to feel safe, protected. you wouldn’t hurt them, nor waste them unnecessarily. they were headed to a good purpose, & you reassure them as such as they make their way into your basket.

the already quiet air stills suddenly, birds silent in the trees & leaves pausing their ruffling. you shut your eyes & soaks up the sudden silence, an odd sense of calm settling over your body before you open them again.

a pair of amethyst violet eyes stare back at you, barely ten feet away from your face.

you open your mouth to scream, but let out nothing but air; your breath seems caught in your throat, lodged painfully deep. the creature in front of you is still, black fur gleaming glossy in the afternoon sun - a panther, twice the size of any normal big cat, sharp fangs glinting in its large mouth. you just stare, frozen & wide eyed.

the panther tilts its head at you inquisitively, letting out a sharp exhale through its velvety - almost cute? - black nose. you do scream this time, a barely there squeak that youd defend to your dying day as a very aggressive yell.

& then you pass clean out, slumping to the cool forest floor.

above you, the panther simply snorts, rolling bright purple eyes in mild annoyance as it curls its lithe form around your unconscious body, settling in for a nap.

it protects you from harm, patiently waiting for you to wake up.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

you wake up confused & a little dizzy.

you’ve only been out about an hour, but already the sun sits lower in the sky, a chill sweeping through the quiet wood. you’re disoriented, taking a few moments to remember where you are, & why. youre warm despite the cool forest air, body swathed in silky softness. you burrow deeper into the warmth, sighing softly as you toe the line between sleep & awake.

then you remember the panther.

shooting straight up from the dirt, you look around wildly, all traces of sleepiness gone as you take in your surroundings.

the panther lays curled around you like a warm blanket, keeping you tucked up against its shoulder with massive black paws crossed in front of your legs. it’s fast asleep, not even stirring as you shift a little to study its face.

gold runes run from the tips of each large, silky ear, trailing down either side of its face to its long whiskers. each rune matches one on your own arms, elegantly winding down your smooth skin. a little flutter settles in your chest.

this is your familiar.

you run one slim finger down the sides of the panther’s sleeping face, gentle & light as you trace over the marks that mirror the ones you’ve had since birth. it’s a little nerve wracking, a little unreal.

you’re so awestruck you don’t feel a pair of sharp violet eyes tracking your every move, looking just a little fond.

you start a little when the panther stretches, long heavy limbs arcing out into the air as it yawns. you get a good eyeful of sharp, gleaming white fangs & an impossibly cute pink tongue before the panther is staring at you again, seemingly waiting for your next move.

oh right.

hastily clambering to your feet, you stand in front of the lying animal, just about level with its head. you swallow a little nervously, shifting from foot to foot as you look up into bright, curious eyes.

“a-are you my familiar?” you ask, immediately cursing yourself for stammering & asking stupid questions. you’re supposed to have your shit together, you’re the witch here.

the panther seems unfazed, if not a little amused, as it nods once, then twice, eyes twinkling in the sunlight. your own eye twitches.

you’ve got a familiar. a panther familiar. you, [y/n l/n], who can’t fly a broomstick straight & nearly burnt down your shop crafting a potion last week.

suddenly everything seems a whole lot less simple than it was before.

bracing your hands against your knees to catch your breath, you let your mind go wild, running through a million thoughts at once. what would the other witches say? what would your friends say? how the fuck was this panther going to fit inside your house?

you don’t have a single answer for any of them that won’t send you into a panic.

your stomach ends up deciding for you, the low rumble of it breaking the tense silence. the panther actually does roll its eyes at you this time, standing to its full - very, very tall height & moving to kneel at your side. it motions towards its back a little impatiently, & you scramble to climb on.

you can feel lean, powerful muscle underneath you as the panther begins to walk through the forest, quickly shifting through the underbrush towards town.

it’s much quicker than you walking on your own, & you appreciate that.

you know you’re going to get plenty of stares once you hit town, & you’ve already got a plan set: make it through quickly, avoid questions, & once you’ve got the both of you locked up in your shop, the panther can shift to its human form & introduce themselves. simple.

the second you step foot - & paw - into the town, you know you’re screwed.

all of the townsfolk are staring wide eyed, giving the pair of you a very wide berth as the panther trots along the street. hushed whispers are already circulating, & you can feel endless sets of eyes digging into your back.

just a couple more feet, a few more moments. then we’ll be safe, you think as your shop comes into view, breathing a quiet sigh of relief. you slide down off the panthers back to unlock the door & usher it in, locking it behind you both with another relieved sigh. you relax too soon.

there, in your kitchen, sit sero & kirishima, both gaping as they stare at the massive panther in your foyer. sero’s got a teapot in one hand, the other cupping the air - a shattered mug at his feet.

“we came for tea,” kirishima squeaks. sero is dumbfounded where he stands. the panther huffs unamused, tail flicking & breaking one of the china plates along the wall.

you sink to the floor in despair.

what the fuck, is all you can think, burying your head in your hands.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

your friends take it all in surprisingly well. sero sweeps up the shattered mug & dish, kirishima makes them all tea, & you have a mild panic attack.

the panther simply curls up in a corner of the shop, avoiding everything delicate as it takes up a good chunk of the space. kirishima can’t stop staring at it, eyes blown wide as he takes in every inch of the creature.

“it’s really yours? your familiar?” he’d asked, voice hushed. you swatted at his arm with a scowl, glancing over at the uninterested panther. “stop talking about it like it’s not here! you know it can hear you.”

truthfully, however, you don’t even think the panther is listening. it has an air of disinterest clouded around it, lazily examining its paws & twitching its whiskers every so often.

sero maintains that he won the bet, much to your chagrin. “it’s just a really big cat!” he insists. kirishima simply rolls his eyes & tells him to take it up with bakugou.

it takes an hour or two, but eventually you manage to shoo your friends out of your shop, a headache building at their incessant questioning - “so what's its name? boy or girl? did it try to eat you? why is it looking at me like that?” - & all you want to do is sleep.

you lead the panther to the small side room you’d dolled up, albeit for a much smaller animal, wincing at the judgemental look you receive in return. “right, that won’t work. i mean, you could stay in my bed? it’s really big, just a bunch of cushions & blankets on a floor mattress?” you offer, twisting your fingers in your shirt a little shyly. the panther pauses, then nods again, squeezing its massive frame through the narrow staircase to follow you upstairs.

your bed - a custom made mattress that spanned nearly across the entirety of your bedroom floor - seemed to accommodate the panther just fine, and it paced around once, twice, before settling in one corner of it. its lithe form took up a good two thirds of the mess of blankets, & you can’t help but coo at the sight. it really was just a big kitty cat, although you’d probably never say it to the creature’s face.

you busy yourself with getting ready for bed, washing your face, brushing your teeth & changing into your baggy blue silk pajamas - they’ve got little yellow crescent moons sewn into them, & you swear the panther laughs at you in them - before settling between the sheets.

“goodnight, mr. panther,” you mumble sleepily, silently hoping that things would be easier to fix in the morning before drifting off to dreams.

above you, the panther huffs a little fondly, nuzzling your soft little cheek before falling asleep as well.

—

the next few days aren’t any easier.

for one, you’re swamped with customers for the first time ever, people crowding into the tiny shop to catch a glimpse of the enormous panther curled up in the corner. normally you wouldn’t allow it, but the panther doesn’t seem to mind, & everyone who walks in leaves with something - you’re making a killing.

another little problem: the arrival of your - rather powerful - familiar means your own abilities have gotten a much needed boost. everything you make is soaked in energy, & your plants are shooting towards the ceiling every other hour.

in short, you’re probably the most powerful nature witch in the country, let alone the county.

you appreciate the fact that you’re better at what you do, but it tires you out quicker, & you’re twice as busy now that you can do so much.

all of this would be reasonably manageable, if your familiar wasn’t still stuck in its animal form.

the panther’s refused to shift for the entirety of the time you’ve known it, staying in its animal form in the corner of the shop. it simply watches & observes, occasionally nudging the right vial or plant closer to you with its large black nose. it’s a cute sight, the little nature witch bustling around the shop in your emerald green robes, a huge black panther tracking your every move with a fond expression. you’ve started to get comfortable around it as well, but you would like to get to know it eventually, & you enlist kirishima’s help.

the more experienced witch drops by with an old history book one afternoon when you aren’t as busy, the pair of you sitting at the table to read up on familiars.

“it says here familiars usually shift within the first day of meeting their witch,” kiri reads from the book, squinting at the tiny text. you had shooed the panther into the garden so you could talk uninterrupted, & you watch as the large creature nips at the butterflies circling its head. it makes you smile, heart a little fond at the sight.

“it’s been almost a week, kiri,” you pout, looking up at the witch in concern. maybe it's not comfortable with me yet, you add in your head. your stomach twists uncomfortably at the thought.

kirishima, seemingly sensing your worry, ruffles a hand through your hair, a reassuring smile on his face.

“don’t worry, [y/n]. i’m sure they’re still getting used to being here with you,” the taller comforts you. “just give it a little time.”

watching as your familiar tramples your hydrangeas, looking up at the window with a guilty expression on its face, you can only sigh.

“i hope you’re right.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

nearly two months later, you’re starting to doubt kirishima’s advice.

your familiar still hasn’t shifted in front of you, although you’ve got a sneaking suspicion it does while you’re asleep, a smattering of all black clothes hidden in random corners of his shop.

you still know absolutely nothing about them, every question you throw at the panther met with unblinking silence. but the panther knows all about you.

it knows which tea you prefer in the morning & evening, nudging out the right canisters with one massive paw. it knows every plant in your shop & garden, delicately ripping out whichever ones you need with sharp fangs. it knows to growl when a potion is boiling over, or huff when a customer is at the door. it even ran off a few thieves a week ago, snarling with its hackles raised at the foot of the stairs as they screamed & ran. you had given it an hour long head massage, complete with ear scratches, as a thank you.

the panther has settled itself in your shop & your life almost perfectly, a constant presence that you’ve grown fond of. but it doesn’t change the fact that they still haven’t revealed themselves to you. you feel like this relationship is ridiculously imbalanced; the panther knows you inside & out. you don’t even know their name.

still, you push down any doubt or insecurities you’re feeling, determined to let the panther come to you in your own time.

the mayor’s birthday changes all of that.

the mayor always requests a grand celebration, complete with magical fireworks, charmed balloons, singing lilies, & a three tier magical cake. normally, he only requests singing lilies & roses from you.

this year, you get a golden invoice for everything.

the mayor wants you to craft the cake, enchant the balloons & streamers, gather the singing flowers, and charm the fireworks, all in less than two days. you immediately break into a sweat.

you can’t ask your friends for help, as they’re tied up in their own town’s festivities. your only choice is to get the other witches’ in town; surely they’d help with the mayor’s birthday celebration.

surely not. they laugh you away from their shops the moment you ask, a pleading expression on your face.

“you shouldn’t need help, little dirt witch. you’ve got that powerful familiar of yours, don’t you? unless you can’t handle it,” they mock you, & your fists clench unwillingly; you force yourself to breathe.

you don’t need their help, or their disdain. you’re going to do it all by yourself.

you start with the flowers, collecting the brightest & loudest singers from your garden & placing them in charmed rainwater to keep them pristine. the panther helps where it can, delicately holding them between its fangs.

enchanting the streamers & balloons takes the better part of the day, & you’re up late into the night crafting the fireworks the right way. you fall asleep in a spellbook, the cake left forgotten till the morning. the panther simply rests its head next to yours on the table, the pair of you fast asleep until the next day.

when you wake up, the birds are chirping steadily outside, sunlight filtering in through the windows. it’s calm & soothing, & for a moment you’re at peace.

then you see the time, panic immediately setting in.

“wake up! wake up! i have to have the cake ready in four hours! it’s going to take me three just to mix the batter!” you’re running around the shop in a flurry of robes & quick spells, arms full of supplies. the panther just watches from its position on the floor, eyebrow quirked.

you’re halfway through mixing the batter when you realize you won’t finish in time.

you can’t focus on charming all three tiers at once as he mixes, but if you do them one by one you won’t finish in time. you pause, turning desperate eyes onto the panther.

“i know you’re not ready, & i didn’t want to push, but please. i need your help,” you plead. hands clasped in front of you & flour in your hair. the panther continues to stare, unmoving, as though immune to your begging.

it’s too much all at once, stress & anxiety building until you snap.

“why not! why! i get it! i understand you’re disappointed! i’m not some high tech witch in a big city, i’m not powerful! i’m weak & i suck & i can’t brew potions fast without blowing them up & i fell off my broomstick in the garden & you saw, i know! i just need help, for god’s sake! just help me, & you don’t ever have to talk to me again!” you promise, eyes watery as you burst into tears.

dropping your head into your hands to muffle your sobs, you barely register the faint whirling of air in front of you.

hands suddenly flutter over your crying form, hovering just above touching you as a low, rough voice pulls you from your misery.

“please stop crying, shit, please, i’m sorry, i swear i didn’t mean to make you cry, fuck,” you hear, & you tilt your head up, rubbing tears from your eyes.

there’s a man standing in front of you, wearing all black. he’s got messy purple hair sticking up from all sides & dark eyes, a hint of violet flashing through them in the light. there’s circles as dark as his clothes under his eyes, a familiar look on his face - like you’d seen it every morning waking up.

this ridiculously handsome man, looking slightly panicked, is your familiar. every time you’d called him a “pretty kitty” suddenly flashes through your mind.

fuck.

pushing all those thoughts to the back of your mind, you straighten up, hastily wiping your eyes on your robe sleeves. “can you stir the second pot, please? i’ll worry about the other ones,” you ask meekly, a little embarrassed now. you ignore the familiar’s prying gaze, simply muttering spells under your breath as you stir the first mixture.

the pair of you don’t speak unless it’s instructions, racing around the tiny shop to craft the magical cake. flour & sugar & icing cover every available surface as you wave your hands, whisking it all over the towering cake. you struggle a little to reach the very top, on your tiptoes as you attempt to frost the highest tier. warm, strong hands grip your waist & lift you right off the ground, holding you up to help; you blush furiously as you quickly finish.

you’re just putting the final smattering of glitter onto the cake when the mayor’s party attendants arrive to collect it. you can finally breathe as you watch them carry off everything you both had made, shoulders sagging in relief.

your familiar leans against the counter, wiping down the tables with a rag as he watches you. now that everything’s been finished, there’s no avoiding it.

“i’m hitoshi. that’s my name,” the panther - hitoshi - offers, presumably sensing your nerves. “& for the record, i think you’re a great witch. youre powerful all on your own, even without me.”

you can’t help your smile at that, a little flush to your cheeks as you sit at the table. “then.. then why didn’t you shift?” you ask softly. up close, you can see tiny freckles in place of hitoshi’s whiskers, the glossiness of his hair reminiscent of his panther fur.

the familiar shrugs, cheeks going a bit pink themselves as he stares at the table. “at first, i was just a little shy. it’s nerve wracking, meeting your witch. & then you just… passed out, you know? i was worried about how you’d react, so i decided to give you time.” you can understand that, listening closely.

“you were so nice to me, you weren’t scared at all. you scratched behind my ears & made me cleansing potions. & you let me stay in your bed, so easily. you were just…. nicer than i expected. and…. and prettier.” the familiar’s cheeks are a rosy red now, bright in contrast to his soft skin & prominent dark circles. you think it’s adorable.

“i just didn’t want you to think any different of me, you know? you liked panther me a lot, even though i kept breaking stuff, &.... i wanted you to keep liking me.” you outright coo at that, ignoring your familiar’s protests as you dissolve into giggles.

“really? of course i’d still like you, silly! i let you cuddle me! i called you mr whiskers for a solid month! oh god, i called you mr whiskers,” you whine, pouting a little. you’d called hitoshi a bunch of silly nicknames before he’d shifted, from pretty kitty to mr whiskers to sugarpaws. you’d been trying to compensate, in your defense, & hitoshi had seemed to like them.

hitoshi’s the one laughing now, smile bright as he gives you that same fond look. “it was cute. you were trying really hard,” he admits, head cocked to the side as he watches you.

you sit in a comfortable sort of silence then, simply taking in each other’s presence a moment.

“so, you thought i was pretty, huh?” you tease, breaking the silence as you move to stand in front of hitoshi. you giggle more at the flush that follows, ignoring hitoshi’s mumbling rant about “soft little witches” & “green robes & moon pajamas, that's ridiculous”, your smile growing ever wider.

you tap a finger against hitoshi’s nose, the familiar protesting in flustered panic. standing on tiptoe, you press a light kiss to the cranberry stained cheek, watching hitoshi absolutely melt.

“i thought you were cute too, pretty kitty,” you smile, turning to tidy up the pots & spellbooks & leaving an awestruck hitoshi at the table, hand frozen where you had pressed your lips.

i could get used to that, you think, giggling as hitoshi trips over himself to squish you against the counter, covering your face in kisses.

just you, your shop, & one pretty kitty.

[stygiantarot]

Unusual Divination Methods

A long ass list of methods of divination, just in case you’re curious ~~~~~~

Divination is the method of discerning answers beyond a direct interaction. It can be used for foreseeing future outcomes or problems, but that isn’t inherent. It can also be used to commune with entities like deities or spirits, or even for delving deeper into the self (like shadow work).

There are many forms of divination. So many. There are even many forms of what would be considered “unusual” beyond the more commonly practices like cartomancy, runes, or stichomancy. Today I shall be focusing on ones I’m familiar with so I can better elaborate and answer questions.

The methods I will be exploring today:


Aleuromancy: divination using flour (or a flour substitute!)


Catoptromancy: a form of scrying using a mirror (my method uses a cast iron pan actually!)


Osteomancy: divination using bones

~~~~~~

Aleuromancy

A form of divination using flour that’s mentioned in some Mesopotamian cunefiorms, as well as being practiced in Greece and Rome. There are a couple ways this can be done. Firstly is when you pour out the dry flour and look at the way it falls into a bowl or on a plate or surface. Much like tea leaf reading (tasseography), you seek out shapes in the flour and interpret based on that. Another variation is doing the same but after you’ve mixed the flour with the liquids you’re baking with and kneaded it/mixed it and then taken it away to be baked. You examine the remaining streaks of wet dough on your surfaces for shapes and patterns.

The third method is to actually put slips of paper into the items you’re baking to be taken at random and broken open to answers questions after they’re cooked (akin to fortune cookies). This can be a tricky process depending on what sort of paper or ink you’ve used (speaking from experience :-X). The historical Greek version of this used excerpts of famous philosophy and mixed the balls of doughs nine times (a significant number in Ancient Greece)

It can take a lot of patience to try and find shapes and patterns in flour and admittedly it’s much easier with tea leaves. No wonder that became the standard. Don’t get disheartened if it isn’t something you have success with. You might have more fun and results experimenting with the baking slips of paper into dough methods. Great for ritual cookies!

The kind of divining using this method is very simple, more “omen-like” than detailed q&as like in Tarot or runes. Expect to see simple images that may give insight to something coming your way (a boat or bird showing a trip) or warn of a specific type of trouble that may be on the horizon (a money sign showing finances) rather than getting a formulated question clearly answered. However, you can dabble in that methodology when using the slips of paper instead. That way is more akin to stichomancy where you get a general idea or snapshot of the emotion or proverb-like metaphor to your question.

The type of flour can be tailored to help “fine tune” the reading as well- much like a certain flavor or tea or a certain deck of cards. Keep in mind that all types of grains/flours have a baseline association with prosperity and material gain/finances so this method of divination is especially good for those type of questions!



Flour Correspondences:


Acorn: An uncommon one in stores of course, but has deep wildcrafting results if you have the time and patience to grind some yourself. Associated with protection, health, money, healing, potency, fertility, luck, wealth, wisdom, and personal power.


Almond: creativity, luck, wisdom, spiritual understanding, nostalgia

Buckwheat: Money, protection, dreams and sleep


Flaxseed: health, finances, prosperity, beauty, psychic powers

Oat: family, home, hearth, money

Potato: protection, banishing, soothing/healing


Rice: prosperity, career/job, travel, romantic relationships/sex

Wheat: general prosperity, rebirth/renewal, solar energy

~~~~~~

Catoptromancy

From the Greek word katoptron, meaning mirror, this is a form of scrying that specifically uses a mirror rather than flame, water, or crystal ball. However, my version is a bit of a kitchen witch twist on it. We’ll get to that in a moment!

 The Wikipedia article on it refers to a Greek temple that used this method but it was also practiced in many other countries in history. There’s references to the “true seeing” of Hathor/Het-Hert/ḥwt-ḥr mirrors as well, despite them being mainly for practical purposes. The divination is practiced most commonly by placing a mirror near water, outside in moonlight, or near a candle flame. Then the reader looks into the mirror and interprets the images seen. They can be direct appearance-based (how you look) or seeing other images. The mirror can be a standard one, a painted one, or one made of a more opaque substance like obsidian or metal.

I will say personally, I practice catoptromancy in an “inner eye” scrying way rather than a pattern/tasseography way. That means that I am the conduit and the mirror/surface is to help me get into a trance state and what I “see” will be from my mind’s eye or may likely be added to what little I see on the surface through intuition and that sixth sense. But either method is absolutely fine.

I also don’t use a mirror. I use a well loved, well seasoned cast iron skillet for my catoptromancy, with a lighted candle usually. The glossy surface is mostly black iron but is just mirrored enough from being soaked in fat over the past decades of seasoning that it performs quite well for scrying. And the sentimental value helps it’s power. You may want to select an object in a similar fashion. You can choose an important mirror (the size doesn’t matter) or pick something that is mirror-like. The reflective ability is all that matters.

Get settled down in a comfortable spot without too much light. Get your one light source ready; a candle, the moon, a small table lamp or booklight even. You’ll want to be grounded, centered, and calm and then let yourself “zone out” in order to get into the mindset for scrying. Then examine your own reflection for certain aspects that stand out or look past yourself (or angle the mirror to not be looking right at you) to see other shapes or patterns that you expand upon with your trance state. Keeping a journal for this method is especially important. There’s an emotional and internal reflection aspect that can be helpful to refer back to and examine how things went in your life after certain sessions. It can also pair well with dream magic. What you were seeking might manifest after the trance mirror session in your dreams. This method of divination is especially good for shadow work as well.

~~~~~~

Osteomancy

Bones, bones bones! Throwing the bones! Examining the bones! Reading the bones! This is a divination method that obviously uses bones in order to determine associations and messages. It was prevalent in so many cultures throughout ancient and more recent history that it’s hard to pin down a single source. However, there are definitely methods that have particular cultural ties and those should be respected when it comes to closed ones. 

Much like runes or staves, the most common method counts upon both the appearance of the bones themselves as well as their placement in a “casting” (when you gently toss them onto a flat surface). Casting sets also frequently include items that aren’t just bones like small stones, coins, shells, pieces of jewelry, etc.

You can carve, mark, paint or stain the bones in ways that have personal associations to you to help in reading them. You can obtain these bones in any ethical way you are comfortable with. I don’t believe they have to be remains you have processed yourself; though that can add a different spiritual component. You should be considerate in collecting your set though. There is no set number of objects to have (even a single piece can answer yes/no questions) but I don’t recommend starting out of the gate with a pile. You should get comfortable with each piece and determine its associations before moving on to a new one.

Unlike Tarot, they don’t come with set meanings. Though there are sometimes obvious ones: a coin for finances, a seedpod or nut for fertility/prosperity, a sharp tooth for protection, etc. Think about what creature the bone is from, what part of the body, what shape it has when helping determine your personal associations. Treat it like a correspondence for herbs or crystals and that way you can have a more organic “sliding scale” type meaning for when you cast rather than a rigidly detailed one like with Tarot. For example: a meaning like “luck” or “prosperity” is better than “success in work”. It’s also common to have objects touch and then their meanings are joined. In the previous example you could get promotion/raise at work from having a work piece crossing with a prosperity or luck piece.

It is also up to you on what level of ritualized dedication and/or care you would like to give your set. Many people like to do a special dedication ritual to almost “welcome” the item to its new job as a divination tool (my own is what I call “Massaging the Bones”). You can also regularly cleanse and “feed” the casting set (energy that is- not literal food, though you could give it energy from something you’ve cooked in a non-literal way!). I do recommend a special bag or box to keep everything in as well as a soft thicker cloth to cast on. Just so the items don’t get damaged. Be careful in your casting. Practice a lot to know your strength level to throw while still keeping the objects safe. There may be a couple pieces (like baculums or thinner bird bones) that you need to wrap in a square of cloth before storing with the rest of your set for extra protection. This is especially true if you plan to take your set anywhere where it’ll be traveling in a bag or purse.

You can have a ritual circle of string or another material (embroidery hoop!) you lay out to help organize your cast if you like too. This is usually treated one of two ways. Like the face of a clock and items “closer” to certain times are more immediate and further away items around the imaginary numerals are more in the future. Or it’s concentric and the closer to the center of the circle are more important/relevant and then less relevant or immediate as you get closer to the edge. Those that fall outside the circle aren’t relevant to the reading.

This is a divination method you need an large amount of patience for as it is basically creating a tool yourself from scratch, even if you buy the supplies from elsewhere. The framework is laid by you. And just like someone designing a Tarot deck from scratch; be gentle with yourself and allow yourself the room to practice, change, grow, have fallow periods, return, get bored, become fanatic, etc. It’s a process sort of divination that grows like a living thing. This makes it a bittersweet one- rewarding and frustrating but mostly immensely satisfying.

~~~~~~

Divination is something that can be tailored to your desires, needs, and supplies. It can be made personal. You can create a whole new type if you like! Use what inspires you, what works for you. Use the marks on toast, the recommendations of Netflix, steam in a bathroom mirror after a shower. The world is your oyster!

[carnegiemuseumnaturalhistory]

The Strange Saga of Spinosaurus, the Semiaquatic Dinosaurian Superpredator

I’ve been captivated by dinosaurs for as long as I can remember. My parents tell me that I told them that I wanted to be a paleontologist as early as age four. Naturally, then, I had lots and lots of books about dinosaurs when I was a boy growing up during the 1980s. One of the dinosaurs that always fascinated me the most was Spinosaurus aegyptiacus. Found in 1912 in the Bahariya Oasis of the Western Desert of Egypt (could anyplace sound more exotic to a small-town kid from upstate New York?!), Spinosaurus was originally known from a highly incomplete but also very large and extremely distinctive partial skeleton found in a middle Cretaceous-aged (roughly 95-million-year-old) rock layer in the oasis. Among the few skeletal elements known were part of a strangely shaped (for a dinosaur) lower jaw, some crocodile-like teeth, and most strikingly, several back vertebrae that each sported tall spines, some of them measuring nearly six feet. These spines clearly impressed Ernst Stromer von Reichenbach, the German paleontologist who studied the skeleton and gave the animal its name in a 1915 publication. Tragically, however, that original Spinosaurus skeleton—and all of Stromer’s other dinosaur fossils from Egypt—were destroyed during the Second World War, more specifically in a British Royal Air Force bombing of Munich on April 24, 1944. The story of Stromer’s lost dinosaurs found its way into many a children’s book, including several that I read cover-to-cover. As such, the tale took on near-legendary status for me, and, I’m sure, many other young dinosaur enthusiasts around the world. Here was an absolutely extraordinary dinosaur from a faraway land, similar in size to the gargantuan Tyrannosaurus rex, but clearly very different from all other predatory dinosaurs known at the time – and it was represented only by a few teeth and bones that had been blasted into oblivion decades ago and so now existed only as pictures in books.

A scan of my photocopy of plate I of Ernst Stromer’s original 1915 publication on Spinosaurus aegyptiacus, showing some of the teeth and bones preserved in the holotype (= name-bearing) partial skeleton, discovered in 1912 in Egypt’s Bahariya Oasis. Check out the long spines on the back vertebrae at lower left!

Stromer’s conception of Spinosaurus, as depicted in a 1936 publication and on a glass slide of his that colleagues of mine scanned during our visit to the Paläontologisches Museum München in Munich, Germany in 2001. Stromer knew this animal was big, as evidenced by the human skeleton he included for scale. Interestingly, too, he reconstructed Spinosaurus with unusual proportions for a carnivorous dinosaur, such as an abnormally elongate torso and short hind limbs. We’ll come back to those odd proportions a little later…

When I arrived in graduate school at the University of Pennsylvania in 1997, one of the first things I did was make a lengthy list of all the paleontological sites I was interested in exploring, ranked by their potential (in my mind, at least) to produce scientifically significant finds. The Bahariya Oasis and the search for a ‘replacement Spinosaurus’ quickly rose to the top of the list. Amazingly, no one had ever found—or at least officially reported—new dinosaur fossils in the oasis in the more than half-century since Stromer’s beasts were obliterated during that fateful airstrike. A need to keep this post to a reasonable length prevents me from describing the stars that had to align to make this happen, but in January 2000 I found myself in the Bahariya Oasis—one of the places I’d dreamed about going since I was a small child—as part of the first significant ‘dinosaur hunt’ to take place at the site since the early 20th century. It was bittersweet, though, in the sense that we never really found that ‘replacement Spinosaurus’ I’d fantasized about – all we ever discovered of that creature were a few isolated, fragmentary teeth and bones (and, in a very different location, a couple previously unpublished photos of the original skeleton in a Munich archive). We did find and dig up a gigantic new species of long-necked, plant-eating sauropod dinosaur, Paralititan stromeri, a creature that to this day is one of the largest land animals of any kind that’s ever been found, anywhere – but that’s another story for another time.

One of the rare contributions that I personally have made to scientific knowledge of Spinosaurus: a glass slide showing the only known photo of the right dentary (tooth-bearing lower jaw bone) of the original, name-bearing partial skeleton from Egypt. Like all of Stromer’s Egyptian dinosaur material, this specimen (including this bone) was destroyed in a British air raid on Munich during World War II. Several colleagues and I ‘rediscovered’ this photo—which nobody apparently knew existed—in an archive at the Paläontologisches Museum München in 2001. We published it and one other previously unknown photo of the Spinosaurus type specimen in a 2006 paper in the Journal of Paleontology.

A much younger yours truly digging up the incomplete left humerus (upper arm bone) of the gigantic sauropod (long-necked herbivorous dinosaur) Paralititan stromeri in the Bahariya Oasis of Egypt, February 2000. Paralititan is one of the largest dinosaurs ever discovered – a nice ‘consolation prize’ given that we didn’t find much of Spinosaurus during our expeditions to Bahariya. (A cast replica of the complete right humerus of Paralititan is on display in PaleoLab at Carnegie Museum of Natural History.) Credit: Josh Smith.

Back to the matter at hand, meaning Spinosaurus. Fast-forward to 2011. I had the honor of serving as the external thesis examiner for Nizar Ibrahim, a promising doctoral student at University College Dublin in Ireland. I’d known Nizar for years, ever since he reached out to me by email while an undergraduate at the University of Bristol, England, to discuss our mutual interests in African Cretaceous dinosaurs. Nizar’s Ph.D. thesis was on dinosaurs and other middle Cretaceous-aged vertebrates from the celebrated Kem Kem beds of southeastern Morocco, a set of rocks that had yielded a fossil fauna very similar to, though seemingly more diverse than, that of the Bahariya Oasis. Among the many finds that Nizar documented in his colossal thesis were intriguing new remains of Spinosaurus. I went to Dublin to participate in his successful thesis defense, and afterward, he and I hit up some of the city’s finest public houses to celebrate (no surprise for those who know me). Over a pitcher of yummy Irish stout, he told me an exciting story – he and his team had lately discovered not just isolated bones of Spinosaurus in Morocco, but parts of a probable new skeleton. If so, this find would be the first skeleton since Stromer, and moreover would be exceedingly important given how little was known about Spinosaurus, even as recently as the early 2010s. The more parts we paleontologists have of a given fossil animal, the more we can generally learn about it, so the prospect of a new and relatively complete Spinosaurus skeleton—in other words, many bones belonging to a single individual dinosaur—was thrilling to say the least.

Again I’ll skip details for brevity’s sake, but fast-forward once again, to 2014. I was contacted by an editor of Science—one of the foremost scientific journals in the world—to peer-review a paper that had been submitted by (you guessed it!) Nizar and a long list of collaborators describing that new skeleton of Spinosaurus that he’d told me about over beers in Ireland three years before. Nizar and team had revisited the quarry and it had panned out in a big way. From this one, single individual Spinosaurus—again, the first associated skeleton of this dinosaur to have been found in roughly a century—they had bones from the skull, backbone (including a few of those famously long-spined vertebrae!), forelimb, pelvis, and hind limb. More importantly, these ‘new’ bones revealed that Spinosaurus was even more bizarre than anyone imagined! We already knew, from Stromer’s specimen and other, isolated finds made through the years, that the shapes of the skull and back were really weird for a predatory dinosaur. Now, the new skeleton showed that the bones were remarkably dense, the hind legs were oddly short, and the hind feet may have been webbed! All of this led Nizar and colleagues to propose that Spinosaurus may have been semiaquatic; in other words, that its lifestyle was much more comparable to that of a modern-day alligator or crocodile than it was to a more ‘typical’ land-living predatory dinosaur such as T. rex. Other evidence for an affinity to watery habitats had been found in Spinosaurus and closely related dinosaurs (known, perhaps unsurprisingly, as spinosaurids) before, but this was, in my mind, the most convincing case yet made that these animals spent significant amounts of their time at least partly submerged in lakes and rivers. The paper was published in Science a few months later, accompanied by a cover story in National Geographic magazine and a special on the venerable PBS TV series NOVA. Almost exactly one hundred years after it had been named, Spinosaurus had become a celebrity.

Nizar Ibrahim and colleagues’ initial conception of Spinosaurus aegyptiacus in the flesh, released to coincide with the publication of their Science paper in 2014. Two aspects stand out: as Stromer already knew (see his skeletal reconstruction above), the animal is enormous, but it was more oddly proportioned than even he had imagined. Note also the ‘regular-looking’ (for a dinosaur) tail, and read on. Credit: Davide Bonadonna.

Semiaquatic Spinosaurus chowing down on a tasty lungfish in what is now northern Africa some 95 million years ago. Italian paleoartist Davide Bonadonna has produced some of the most beautiful and accurate modern depictions of this extraordinary dinosaur, and I’m grateful to him for letting me reproduce his art here.

But the story didn’t end there. Some prominent paleontologists criticized Nizar and colleagues’ semiaquatic interpretation of Spinosaurus. These opinions weren’t a final judgment. Instead, this is just how science works: we scientists propose ideas, or hypotheses—in this case, that Spinosaurus lived and behaved more like a crocodile than your garden-variety carnivorous dinosaur—and then test these hypotheses by reevaluating the existing evidence and/or bringing new information to light. If a hypothesis repeatedly stands up to testing, then it gradually gets incorporated into the body of knowledge. Other paleontologists presented evidence that they claimed refuted the semiaquatic hypothesis, but Nizar and team eventually countered with new data of their own. In late 2019, another prominent scientific journal—this time it was Nature—came calling, asking me to review a second paper by Nizar et al. on Spinosaurus. What, I thought, could these researchers have to say about this dinosaur that they hadn’t already said before? Well, as it turns out, Nizar and colleagues had kept digging at their Spinosaurus skeleton site, and incredibly, they’d continued to find important new bones belonging to the same specimen. Among these post-2014 finds was the almost complete tail. When I saw what it looked like (via an illustration in their paper), I literally laughed out loud with surprise and delight. Somehow, the shape of the Spinosaurus tail Nizar’s team had discovered—the first even reasonably complete tail of this dinosaur to have ever been unearthed—was simultaneously both unexpected and predictable. It looked really dissimilar from the tails of other predatory dinosaurs, but it was nearly exactly like what one might expect for a dinosaur that used its tail to propel itself through water. In other words, the tall, fin-like tail of Spinosaurus looked more like that of a supersized alligator or newt than that of T. rex.

Nizar and team’s Nature paper on their Spinosaurus tail was published this past April 29. Is it the last word on this dinosaur and its mode of life? Most certainly not, but the evidence is now stronger than ever—in my opinion, very strong—that Spinosaurus spent more time in the water than any other non-avian (= non-bird) dinosaur that we currently know about.

The modern view of Spinosaurus, not as a ‘regular’ predatory dinosaur, but rather as a specialized semiaquatic hunter that spent much of its life in the water. Self-serving side note: the three smaller, spiky-looking fish are Bawitius bartheli, a polypterid (an archaic, still-extant group of thick-scaled ray-finned fishes) that several colleagues and I named in 2012 from fossils found in the Bahariya Oasis. The larger fish at lower left is the giant coelacanth Axelrodichthys (sometimes called Mawsonia) libyca. Credit: Davide Bonadonna.

Two Spinosaurus invite the sawfish Onchopristis numidus to lunch in what’s now northern Africa some 95 million years ago. Look at those fin-like Spinosaurus tails! Credit: Davide Bonadonna/National Geographic.

Nizar (who’s a Research Associate here at Carnegie Museum of Natural History), myself, and our many colleagues and collaborators are continuing to study the mysterious dinosaurs and other fossil vertebrates from the middle and Late Cretaceous of northern Africa. Indeed, Nizar and I have several collaborative papers in the works right now, and I’m also working with an amazing team of paleontologists at Mansoura University on multiple new Egyptian fossil finds. It’s a good bet that African Cretaceous dinosaurs even stranger than Spinosaurus are still out there, waiting to be discovered!

Further reading/watching:

Nothdurft, W. E., with J. B. Smith, M. C. Lamanna, K. J. Lacovara, J. C. Poole, and J. R. Smith. 2002. The Lost Dinosaurs of Egypt. Random House, New York, 256 pp.

Smith, J. B., M. C. Lamanna, H. Mayr, and K. J. Lacovara. 2006. New information regarding the holotype of Spinosaurus aegyptiacus Stromer, 1915. Journal of Paleontology 80:400–406.

Ibrahim, N., P. C. Sereno, C. Dal Sasso, S. Maganuco, M. Fabbri, D. M. Martill, S. Zouhri, N. Myhrvold, and D. A. Iurino. 2014. Semiaquatic adaptations in a giant predatory dinosaur. Science 345:1613–1616.

Bigger Than T. rex (NOVA documentary): https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/video/bigger-than-t-rex/

Henderson, D. M. 2018. A buoyancy, balance and stability challenge to the hypothesis of a semi-aquatic Spinosaurus Stromer, 1915 (Dinosauria: Theropoda). PeerJ 6:e5409.

Ibrahim, N., S. Maganuco, C. Dal Sasso, M. Fabbri, M. Auditore, G. Bindellini, D. M. Martill, S. Zouhri, D. A. Mattarelli, D. M. Unwin, J. Wiemann, D. Bonadonna, A. Amane, J. Jakubczak, U. Joger, G. V. Lauder, and S.E. Pierce. 2020. Tail-propelled aquatic locomotion in a theropod dinosaur. Nature 581:67–70.

Matt Lamanna is Mary R. Dawson Associate Curator and Head of the Section of Vertebrate Paleontology at Carnegie Museum of Natural History. Museum staff, volunteers, and interns are encouraged to blog about their unique experiences and knowledge gained from working at the museum.

[kiwi-bitchez]

Can you do a frat Tom story, where he’s a cocky player and y/n hates him? One day, they get stuck at the campus laundromat together, so they start talking and Tom is actually funny and nice. Y/N lets her guard down and they start kissing. And then Tom takes advantage of the moment and his cocky side turns back on and he starts dominating. He takes her to the back and makes her get on her knees to blow him and he makes her gag for him and he's boasting and dirty talking.

Rinse and Spin

OOF This suggestion is HOT. Thank you!!! Honestly this had me sweating. I tried my best! Requests/suggestions are always open!

Summary: basically above, you and tom get stuck in the laundry room together and some smutty fun ensues. College!AU, Frat!Tom, Lowkey enemies to lovers

Warnings: Smut, mentions of alcohol, mostly smut, it’s all smut. 

College was an exciting new chapter for you. Last year when you started school you were bright eyed and bushy tailed for all the new possibilities and independence that college brings. Living on your own, studying at your own pace, meeting new people, it all excited you. 

However after a few semesters had gone by the excitement slowly wore off and you fell into a regular routine. You didn’t dislike school by any stretch, but you have always been keen on seeing things as they truly are.

One of the aspects of college that had really excited you was the idea that everyone would shed their immaturity from high school and grow up quickly. You hoped to meet people who took school seriously and didn’t have that unattractive immaturity that so many high school boys had.

This was all a fantasy in your head of course. There were still many people who disrespected professors, slept through all their classes, and acted like sixteen year olds who had been finally let loose from their parents. You assumed the freedom and expectations of college would cause everyone to grow up, but a girl can only dream.

The worst was Tom Holland. You had been partnered with him last semester for a group project and he lives up to all your expectations of a typical asshole frat boy.

He never bothered to learn your name, just calling you “babe” or “love” in that cocky way that probably worked on some girls, but not you. You ended up doing most of the project yourself because the idea of meeting up with him outside class seemed unbearable. 

After that it was like you couldn’t stop running into him. At parties, in class, at the coffee shop, he was like an irritating bug that you couldn’t seem to squash.

He was the type of guy who loved being the center of attention. It came as no shock to you that he was the president of some stupid frat on campus, the one that threw the biggest parties. In your eyes frat boys had nothing filling their heads other than cheap beer and objectifying women. You tried your best to stay away from them, but did get dragged to the occasional party. 

You had luckily found a group of friends that lived up to your expectations of mature college students, they were funny and smart and you were lucky to have them. The area you weren’t so lucky with was dating. You had a few hookups at parties but nothing worth writing home about, and most of the boys you met either bored you or fell into the asshole frat boy category.

You look around your small dorm room and decide to straighten some things up. You had finished all your assignments and your friends didn’t get out of class for a few hours, so this seemed like the perfect time to do some laundry.

You toss your dirty clothes into your hamper and head down to the communal laundry room in the basement. You didn’t bother changing out of your pajamas, some loose shorts and a t-shirt sans bra, you figured you’d be back in your room soon enough. 

The door was open a crack, so you slip in and put down your heavy hamper next to an open washing machine. You notice someone sitting across the room out of the corner of your eye, it wasn’t unusual for students to wait for their laundry to finish. 

However, the creeping feeling in your stomach, the way the hair on the back of your neck stood up on end gave away quickly who the figure was. Ugh, Tom. He had headphones on and seemed to be minding his business, so you hoped you could get your laundry in and leave before he noticed you and said some snarky remark.

That was the thing about Tom, you were one of the only girls who didn’t buy into his smooth accent and pretty face. You would call him out for his bullshit and tell him he’s a creep whenever he made a pass at you. You could tell he liked it though, the back and forth of you telling the other how much you despised them, he liked that you could dish it back.

You manage to get your clothes into the washer, but quickly realize that you left your laundry card upstairs. You dig around your wallet for some quarters, coming up with just the right amount. Jamming them into the busted machine you quickly lose hope of them working, realizing you’d have to go back up for your card. 

“Need some help there sweetheart?” Tom asks from across the room.

Your hope of going unnoticed was shattered. Taking in a deep breath you roll your eyes and turn around to face him.

“No thanks sweetheart, machine won’t take my quarters,” you quickly turn back around, hoping that would be the end of the interaction. 

You start to gather your things to head back upstairs when you notice that he’s left his spot and is walking up behind you.

“Here just use mine,” he holds his card out.

“No thanks Holland, not taking any favors from you.”

“Really, it’s no biggie,” he taps the card against the sensor in the machine and pays the $1.25 for your load, “it’s the least I can do after you got me that A on the bio project last semester.” 

You were surprised that he even remembered that. You hold out your handful of quarters to pay him back.

“I don’t want your coins,” he chuckles.

“Well you certainly aren’t getting anything else from me,” you head towards the door, not knowing what to make of that interaction.

You needed the laundry card to swipe the door open, and it had been open a crack when you had come in.

“Hey,” you turn back around, “mind lending me that again so I can open the door?”

He runs up beside you and presses the card against the sensor, getting a little closer to you than you would have liked. The monitor turned red and starts blinking, indicating the card wasn’t working.

He tries again, “Strange, worked just a second ago.”

“Stop fucking with me Tom,” you grab the card from his hand, but it doesn’t work when you try either.

“Why do you always doubt me,” he takes the card back and examines it, “it’s not like I want to be stuck in here with you either.”

“Did you have the card near your phone?” you ask.

He realizes he had put the card back into the wrong pocket after paying for your laundry. The cheap cards are sensitive to technology and can get messed up if they get too close to a phone. 

He takes his phone out of his pocket, “oh my god, of course you’re the type of person who doesn’t put a case on their phone,” you roll your eyes again at him. 

“Guess you’re just gonna have to wait here with me until someone else can buzz us out.” 

“Damn I better start screaming for help then.”

He lets out a chuckle and returns to his seat on top of one of the dryers. You might as well take a seat too, it may be awhile before someone comes to release you from this hell. You hop up onto one of the dryers across the room from him, desperately wishing you had your phone or anything to distract you. 

“Cute shirt,” he comments.

“Shut up,” you realize he was probably commenting on how you weren’t wearing a bra. 

“No, I mean it,” he sounded a little hurt, “that band is really cool.” Referencing the band logo on your tee.

You give him an inquisitive look, trying to read his motives.

“Last summer I worked security at a small concert venue downtown, got into a lot of cool shows for free.” 

You would usually take this as him bragging, but he actually seemed interested in talking to you. He told you about some of the shows he worked at and you told him about the music festival you had gone to. 

After talking like civilized humans for a while he decides to ask, “Why do you hate me so much?” 

“Hmm?” You look up from the hem of your shirt that you had been fiddling with.

“It just seems like you hate me and you don’t even know me.”

“I think I know you well enough to know that we don’t get along.” 

“That’s not true at all, you don’t know the first thing about me!” He got up from his spot and moved closer to you.

“I guess I just don’t want to bother getting to know some egotistical frat boy who thinks every girl wants his dick, you’re just like the rest of them. Even worse, you’re their freaking leader! What do you want me to know about you huh? How much beer you can chug? How many girls you’ve fucked? I’m not interested.” 

“Wow, harsh,” he was actually a little hurt by your comment, but kept the smug grin plastered on his face.

“See, you’re not even listening to me. You just smile and nod until a girl opens her legs for you, so move on cuz I’m not buying it.”

“Oh, you think you’re so high and mighty because you stay cooped up in your dorm room studying like the perfect fucking princess you are,” his tone was mocking, “some of us manage to have fun and get good grades, you’re not special, doll, you’re just a buzzkill. I bet you’ve never even been to one of our frat parties.”

“I’ve been to a few,” you mumble defensively.

“So what, maybe it’s all kegs and tits some of the time, but we also do a lot of really cool stuff too.”

“Oh yeah, like what?” your voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“We do a lot of charity type shit around campus, hosting events and stuff.”

“Charity type shit,” you mocked him. 

“Last semester we did this event where we set up these big tables and just handed out free dildos and condoms and lube,” he started explaining.

“Wow, so charitable, your frat gives out free sex toys to get girls attention, sorry I ever questioned you Mother Theresa.”

“Hey, let me finish,” he puts up his hands, “we were petitioning against campus gun laws. We were trying to make a statement about how some sex toys are against campus rules but there are no gun laws.”

“Oh,” you felt really stupid, “that actually is pretty cool.”

“See, you always are so judgy, if you just listened to me for three seconds then maybe you wouldn’t hate me so much. You just jump to conclusions about people before even talking to them.” 

“I guess,” you turn to him, now sitting next to you on the dryer, “Sorry.”

“See, I like cool music and dildos too, we aren’t so different you and I,” you still wanted to wipe the grin off his face. 

“You don’t know that about me,” you say flatly. 

“Okay well I do know that you are into that one band,” he gestures to your t shirt, “and you are really good at bio… and you do your laundry at weird times of the day…”

You turn to him and lower your eyes, giving him an exasperated look. 

“And I know that you like coconut milk in your coffee, and you always get those chocolate pastry things…”

Your eyes widen a little, realizing how closely he must have paid attention to you to pick up on those things. You let your guard down for a second, giving him the benefit of the doubt for once. 

“And I know that you look really good in just your pajamas,” he nudges your side, “and I know that… you have really pretty eyes…”

His eyes meet yours, and you suddenly felt so vulnerable. 

“Shut up,” you whisper.

“I’m just telling you things that I know to be facts,” he whispers too, his face was very close to yours, and strangely you didn’t mind. 

Your mind went a little fuzzy as you stared into his coffee colored eyes, no longer trying to read him and just appreciating their color. A magnetic pull drew your face to his, almost like something you couldn’t have stopped even if you had wanted to. Before you could even realize it, your lips were firmly planted on his, hands frantically coming up to the sides of his face. 

Tom would be completely lying if he said he knew this would happen. He hadn’t been trying to win you over, smooth talk you like he did to other girls. The two of you had just been having a normal conversation. 

He was taken aback because rarely was he the one being kissed, usually he was the initiator. It only took seconds before he kissed you back, lips moving in synchronicity with yours. Your tongues connected harshly and angrily. He couldn’t tell if you liked him or still hated him, but by the way you felt in his mouth he didn’t care.

Your eyes flutter open, mind finally processing your actions. You harshly pull back, hands quickly moving away from his face and grabbing down onto the edge of the dryer. Your eyes grew wide and a look that could be mistaken for terror flashed across your face.

“Um- I…,” your tongue felt dry and heavy in your mouth, like you were suddenly having an allergic reaction to what you had just done.

You couldn’t come up with anything to say, and before you could his lips were on yours again. He pulled you in by the back of your neck, tongue moving over yours quickly resuming where you had left off.

Neither one of you could reason why this was happening, but it felt too right to care. You let yourself get lost in the kiss, ignoring how crazy and stupid and strange you felt. Suddenly you were leaning back, letting him pin you down against the cold metal beneath you. His hands gripped your sides with purpose and certainty, something you hadn’t ever felt from someone.

His teeth lightly graze your lower lip, pulling it slightly from your mouth. You let out an unexpected whimper, it was quiet and quick but you were sure he had heard. He did. It drove him fucking crazy.

He felt your body writhe underneath him, back arching slightly as his hands slid up your sides. Quickly realizing that the top of a washing machine was not the best place for this, he lifts you up, moving you so you were now straddling his lap.

A small gasp escaped you, surprised at how his strong arms swooped you up so easily. You let your whole body weight sink down onto his lap, pressing your chest tightly against his. Now it was his turn to let out a groan that wouldn’t go unnoticed.

He somehow slides off the machine and stands up, keeping you wrapped up against his torso. He moved with purpose across the small room, slipping into the small back room where no one could see you.

You were lost in the movement of the kiss when you feel your back firmly press against the wall, his body leaning into yours, the kiss getting hotter and wetter. You involuntarily roll your hips towards him, searching for some friction.

“Tell me you want me,” he groans into your mouth.

The way he looked at you like a hungry animal made your breath catch in your throat. His mouth moved to your neck and he buried his head there, kissing and sucking at your soft skin. The haze in your mind cleared for a second of clarity and you spoke with more conviction,

“I refuse to be one of your sexual conquests, Holland,” you continued to roll your hips against his, “You don’t get to tell everyone you fucked some nerdy girl in the laundromat.”

“Our secret,” he moves back to your lips, “but I need to hear you say it.”

“I want you,” your voice shrunk to a whisper.

One of his hands comes up to your chin, angling your head so he has full access to your neck. His tongue works against your pulse point as his hands come down to your things. Your shorts were a thin material, and he could easily feel you through them.

He squeezes your upper thighs, slowly moving up to your hips, pulling you into him.

“Tell me what you want,” your eyes roll back as his hands creep towards your dripping center, “tell me where to touch you.”

“Please,” you felt pathetic, but you press your hips further, trying to make contact with his hand, “I need you to touch me.”

His fingers dance under the hem of your shorts, moving up to your damp underwear.

“Is this all for me?” he says, almost mockingly, “I did this to you?”

You could only moan into his mouth as his fingers slipped into your underwear and moved against your wet folds. You tried to grind into his hand, but his grip on your hip kept you firmly planted against the wall.

“You act like you hate me, but you’ve been dripping for me this whole time haven’t you?”

He slipped a finger into you, curling it perfectly against your inner walls. He could feel you squeeze against him, your arousal starting to cover his whole hand. You couldn’t answer his question, rhetorical in nature, only gasp into his parted lips as he added a second finger.

 He lowers his head to nip at your chest through your thin t-shirt, teeth grazing your nipple through the fabric. You manage to slip out of it, still pressed against the wall, legs shaky under you.

His mouth comes down to attack your chest with bites and hickeys as he continues pumping his two long fingers into you, thumb moving tight circles on your clit. You were slightly embarrassed at how quickly you felt your climax nearing. You had always thought of him as a cocky player, but at least this boy knew exactly what he was doing.

You moan out his name with a slew of profanities, eyes closing tightly. His lips move up to your ear, speaking directly to you as you start to shake under him,

“What is it?” his tone was arrogant and knowing.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come soon,” you squeak out.

“I’m going to make you come,” his hand suddenly moving faster and harder.

“Mmmhh, yes Tommy, you’re making me feel so fucking good.”

“I want you to come on my fingers, and then I want you to get on your knees and suck my cock with those pretty lips of yours.”

Your moans were getting higher pitched, his words only intensifying how good he was making you feel.

“I bet you’d like that huh. You wanna feel my cock in your mouth?”

You bite your lip and nod, feeling yourself tip over the edge with a cry of his name. His thumb moved quickly against your clit, fingers plunging a little deeper as he felt you contract around him.

You collapse forward, grabbing onto his shoulder, biting down on his skin to silence your own screams. You catch a glance at his face, that stupid cocky smirk still plastered onto him. In this moment you couldn’t bother to care, you could only focus on staying standing as waves of pleasure crashed over you.

When your eyes finally came back into focus, he was pulling his fingers from you and slipping them into his mouth. His thumb brushes across your jaw, migrating to press into your lower lip. You let your mouth slip down onto his digit, your tongue pressing against his thumb.

“Look at you,” he pulls his finger back, dragging your lower lip with it, “so fucking good for me.”

You give him a wide eyed look and start making work of his belt. His cock is hard and firmly pressed against the inside of his jeans. You palm him through the thick material for a second while dealing with the button and zipper.

You sink to your knees, fulfilling his request from earlier.

“Wait, here,” he grabs a towel off of a nearby machine and places it on the ground in front of him, “for your knees, the ground is really hard.”

It made you laugh how he had been so cocky one second and thoughtful the next.

“Thank you,” you say softly as you pump the shaft of his dick, looking up at him with big eyes while bringing your tongue out to lick a stripe up the underside.

His shirt was off now too and you couldn’t help but notice how beautiful his body was. You had always recognized that Tom was conventionally very attractive, but suddenly he was fucking hot to you.

You swirl your tongue around his tip and watch as his head tips back, causing him to let out a groan. You take his hand and move it to your hair, giving him permission to hold it.

He twists your hair into a makeshift ponytail, brushing the stray pieces back from your face. He grips tightly, pulling a little. You give him a moan and a nod, letting him know it was okay to pull harder.

He moves your head back and forth to meet your movements, hips moving slightly in the process. You gag a little as he hits the back of your throat, but continue bobbing your head, letting him slide down your throat a little every so often.

“Fuck, you look so good on your knees for me, gagging on my cock,” he tightens his grip on your hair, “taking me so well.”

The sight of you on your knees for him, lips wrapped perfectly around his shaft sent shivers down his spine. He watched attentively as his cock slid in and out of your mouth, your saliva leaving a wet trail around his length. What killed him was when you would look up at him through your eyelashes, big doe eyes begging him to fuck your face. 

You dare to move south, taking one of his balls in your mouth as you continue jerking him off. You moan into him as he pulls your hair, vibrations adding to his pleasure. 

“Fuck y/n, you’re fucking dirty aren’t you?” He was a little surprised at how aggressive you were taking him, shoving his cock deeper and deeper down your throat. 

“I bet you’ve thought about this before, being a good girl on your knees for me, taking what I give you.”

Your eyes flutter shut as you flatten your tongue against his shaft, letting his hips do the work. You surely had never thought about him in this way before, that he was wrong about, but you surely would be thinking about sucking his dick all the time from now on.  

You feel his cock twitch in your mouth, swelling a little at the feeling of your tongue. You knew he was close by his grip on your hair and his hip movements. You take him deep down your throat, sucking and lapping up his shaft. 

“I’m gonna come y/n,” he warns you, although you already knew.

You continue to suck vigorously, swallowing his come and continuing to suck on him until his legs are shaking a little under your grasp. He lets go of your hair, which messily falls down around you. You release his dick from your mouth with a pop, admiring your work as it was red and twitching. 

Tom slumps down against the wall and sits on the floor, meeting you at eye level. You look at him for a second, unable to read his reaction. You knew he liked it by the noises he had been making, but he sat across from you running his hands through his hair. 

“What the fuck was all that.”

“I don’t know! You tell me!” you say defensively, “You seemed to like it.”

“Well yeah, you seemed to like it too,” he retorts, “actually, you seem to like it much more than most girls like sucking cock in my experience.”

“What can I say, you have a pretty dick.”

“Only pretty cuz it fits in your mouth so well.”

What were you doing? Was this flirting? You stand up and shake yourself off, walking over to where your clothes had been discarded. You start to slip your underwear back on. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Tom jokes, also getting up from the floor. 

“Someone could walk in, plus I have to switch my laundry, gonna need your card again by the way.”

“This is some kind of fucked up trade off if you ask me,” he jokes. 

“Still hate me?” He quips, always cocky.

“Jury’s still out,” you start to move your clothes into the dryer, “I’m gonna need to see more of what you have to offer before I decide.” 

“Well, the dryer takes about an hour and I was hoping to make you come a few more times. Wanna see that pretty look on your face again.” 

You sit up on top of the dryer and raised an eyebrow at him.

“Let’s see what you’ve got.” 

[writeyouin]

Hey there! Your fanfics are incredible! Could you please write a Will Turner X Reader one where the reader goes back in time after watching Pirates of the Caribbean and then the reader and Will fall in love? Thanks a lot in advance! :)

Will Turner X Fem-Reader - Life Inside a Movie

A/N – All better from being ill, so here is a fic.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

You leaned over one of Port Royal’s railings, humming a tune that only you knew in this time period. From afar Will Turner watched you, listening to the occasional lyric that you whispered under your breath; the song was just as unusual and out of place as you were.

“Dancing in the moonlight, everything is weird and out of sight,” You sang, staring up at the night sky. 

It was something you did every night. Once, shortly after Will had found you and given you a place to stay, he had asked you why you were so obsessed with the sky. You had told him that where you came from you could never see any of the stars because of something called light pollution. He hadn’t understood what that was, even when you tried to explain it, nor did he understand how one place could have less stars than anywhere else, but he did like that the sky brought you peace. He just wished you didn’t insist on going out every night to view them because there were some nights he couldn’t be out to protect you, and even a peaceful place like Port Royal had its fair share of criminals.

“You can join me if you want,” You said, fully aware that Will had been watching you from afar.

When the two of you first met, Will would have found your forward manner and your knowledge that he was there unnerving; now it was starting to rub off on him as one of your many qualities.

“It would me my honour, Miss (L/N).”

“I’ve told you before, where I’m from we always use first names.”

“And I have told you, it is my pleasure to use your beautiful last name and give you the respect you deserve.”

You smiled to yourself, thinking about how different life had been before you had come to this time. How sad it was to think that chivalry eventually died out, and yet how nice it was to be one of the few from your timeline to receive it.

You thought about the film Pirates of the Caribbean which you had watched the night that the mysterious portal opened in your apartment, leading you into the film itself.

When you first arrived, you had fallen right into the forge, spraining your ankle in the process. Fortunately, the Forge’s owner and Will’s master was asleep, so he didn’t notice the portal that had brought you to Port Royal; you had a feeling that if he had seen it, you would have been in the gallows for sorcery.

Shortly thereafter, Will had returned from a delivery and found you. At first when he saw your strange clothes and unusual hairstyle, he had considered reporting you to the royal guard, suspecting you to be a pirate. It was only when you begged him for help that he paused. It soon became clear that you knew nothing about the finer arts of piracy; you couldn’t even hold a sword properly and that would have made for a very poor pirate indeed. All the same, Will still didn’t trust you so he demanded to know your story, otherwise he would have no trouble seeing you imprisoned, for they very rarely hung women unless the offence was as bad as murder.

Knowing Will was an honourable character from the many times you had watched his film, you came up with a story for yourself that sounded fairly reasonable. You told him you were a simple bookkeeper from a foreign land, who had been stolen by pirates along with a great many others. In the tale, you alone escaped on a lifeboat and had made your way to the nearest island. All in all, you didn’t think it was a bad explanation. The bookkeeper was a reasonable job that would explain why you could read and write so well, and if Will asked, you could say you sprained your ankle upon escaping.

With a few more questions, Will soon believed you and he offered to take you to the boarding house where he lived, even paying your rent until you could get a job. You insisted you would pay him back, but Will thought little of it; after all, he was far too concerned trying to figure you out.

To be frank, you scared Will at first. In Port Royal women and even most men didn’t know how to read. Then there was the fact that you were educated in even more fields than the governor himself. You knew maths, geography, world culture, and more science than anybody he had ever met. While you were only of average intellect in your time, you were a fountain of knowledge in this time. Will asked you where you had learned such wondrous things and you had replied that you had learned all you knew in school and college, but what schools even let women in? He thought you must have been fabulously wealthy in your old land to receive such a fine education.

Although you gave Will much cause for concern, your friendly attitude and the fact that you didn’t scorn his lack of schooling made him begin to trust you. Instead of fearing your knowledge, he began to ask questions of you. He started to think of you less as his responsibility and more as a friend. Given time, he even found a job for you as a secretary for the governor himself, though it took a fair amount of convincing that a woman could do the job.

You offered to pay Will back for the money he had lent you thus far but he rejected the offer, claiming it was the place of any gentleman to help a lady in distress. At that, you started paying your own rent, and to repay Will’s kindness you had taken to cooking him meals after his long days at the forge. Although you weren’t the world’s greatest cook at home, it seemed your knowledge of ingredients and flavours made you an excellent cook in Port Royal; Will often said you ought to open a restaurant after you had introduced him to pizza.

You hummed thoughtfully, leaving your reverie far behind to simply enjoy Will’s company on the Port Royal balcony.

“What great aspects of the world are on your mind tonight?” Will asked, loving your ever-intelligent answers.

“What in the world, you ask. That’s cute. One should never have just the world on their mind, Will.”

“Oh? So what do you think of instead, if not the world?”

“I think of the universe and my new place within it.”

You had explained the concept of the universe to Will before but he wasn’t sure whether to believe it. People were still discovering new islands of the sea from one week to the next. How could anyone possibly know if there were other planets if the human race hadn’t even discovered everything on Earth yet?

Despite his personal opinions of the universe, Will liked the sentiment of your words. “And where do you think your place is?” He asked.

You yourself pondered the question. It was a hard one to answer. In Port Royal, with your education, the sky was the limit, but you were a woman. At home, you had the freedom to do what you wanted when you wanted, but everyday life was lonely and filled with a world of people that didn’t care for anyone but themselves. Truthfully, it didn’t matter where you would have liked to be. It all depended on whether fate would ever reopen another portal and throw you back where you came from or whether you would be left in Port Royal forever; perhaps it would be a continuous loop of being thrown back and forth, though you highly doubted that.

You realised that Will was waiting you an answer, so you smiled, tucking your hair back behind your ear, “I don’t know.”

“Perhaps then, Miss (L/N), if I may be so forward as to say so, you might find that your place is here.”

“In Port Royal?”

“By my side,” Will corrected, swallowing nervously when you turned to face him.

At home, people who said such things to you were always just playing a cruel joke, but you knew Will was being sincere; he always was. For one guilty moment, your thoughts lingered on Elizabeth Swann; if you accepted Will’s proposal, then she would never experience his love, nor he hers.

“I-” Playing things safe for a moment, you dared to ask, “William Turner, are you saying what I think you are?”

“Miss (L/N)- (Y/N),” Will grabbed your hands earnestly. “I was a simple man before I met you, but you have opened my eyes to a whole new world. I may not have much to offer in respects of wealth or position and I have no doubt that you deserve somebody of better station than myself, but I love you and that is something I can offer you now and forever. You have my heart, if you will take it, and even if you do not, it shall still be yours, for I shall never offer it to another.”

“I don’t- I mean- What about Miss Swann? I thought you loved her.”

Will grimaced. He himself had also believed he was in love with Elisabeth Swann, but now after feeling real love towards you, he realised that what he had felt for Miss Swann was merely infatuation after she saved him during their shared childhoods.

“No (Y/N), I can say without a doubt that I love you most ardently. I understand if you do not wish to be with me or if you need some time to think-”

“No,” You interrupted curtly. You shook your head, searching for an explanation at Will’s curious expression, “I- I don’t need time to think. I just- Wow, um- Sorry, I know I’m messing things up here.”

Will managed to chuckle at your ever-strange manner of speaking, putting you somewhat at ease.

“At home, I could never have expected such a wonderful proposal, from anyone. I would say that except for a small few, romance is dead and most marriages are… well, complicated for lack of a better word. It seems that where I’m from, we write a lot of love songs and books just dreaming about the life we want. Nobody would ever even talk to me with the respect that you do; only royalty get spoken to like that.” You realised you were saying a lot of things Will would never understand, but what else could you do when you were sorting through your feelings for a film character. “Will- I- I love you.”

Will released his breath, feeling his heart pound ecstatically. He wanted to draw you into his embrace, but he still kept to his own gentleman’s code.

“(Y/N), with your permission, I would very much like to kiss you now.”

“I- Yes.”

Will raised a hand slowly to your cheek, stroking it gently. His eyes searched your face, memorising every detail of what would be his first kiss. He wondered if this was yours too, considering how different both your homes were. Trailing his hand down to your chin, he tilted your head up.

“You’re shaking,” He said, worried that you had suddenly changed your mind about him.

“I’ve never had anybody look at me the way you do,” You whispered anxiously. “It’s terrifying, in a good way.”

Will gave you a small smile, leaning in slowly to press his lips against yours. He did nothing to deepen the kiss, keeping it simple; it would be improper to do more when the two of you had only started courting that very night. However, as his lips parted from yours, he knew he would take every future opportunity to kiss you, his new love.

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[eisukevint]

The Secret

Summary: Kissed by the baddest bidder X Harry Potter

Pairing: Eisuke/Mc

a/n: I had this sudden idea so I wrote it down. It’s kinda good, kinda bad. I skipped on my maths test for this so please show it some love👉👈

. . .

Run

The drumming of her heart escalated even more than the times his slender fingers unconsciously stroked her.

If you ever feel like you’re in danger, run

She could’ve fished her wand but she couldn’t hurt him. She daren���t, that’s what she thought as she stood transfixed chilled to the bone.

Even if it’s me

She didn’t understand what he meant at that time, but now she did.

RUN

and she ran.

~~

He was never open with his emotions. From the day his muggle parents abandoned him after finding out about the ‘freak’ he was. Finding refuge in an elderly wizard’s humble home, kind enough to look after him, he was eager to learn all aspects of magic. His sole reason? Not to be looked down upon by anyone.

The feeling of revulsion he got from the people who birthed him confirmed that he would never be accepted as one’s own. To them he was abnormal. And he was aware of that. To rid of the desolation, drowning in books was his only option. Until he met her, or rather, them.

Mc and Soryu too had their own demons but together, they were a team. One everyone looked up to. Some even called them ‘The Golden Trio’ and they couldn’t be more accurate. To say the three of them knew literally everything about each other was not wrong. Except Eisuke. Well he had a secret concealed to all. Not even his best friends knew what he had hidden from them.

Nearly Halloween the days got even colder and the already thick fog amongst the forbidden forest seemed even more dense than normal. The sun was almost setting. Soryu had gone home to spend days with his family while the other two stayed at school with no such plans. They didn’t even have a family of their own to begin with so they decided to indulge in each other’s company for which they were more than just exhilarated. They’d known each other for almost five years now and they couldn’t help but feel attracted to the little spark between them.

They tip toed out of the castle, careful not to get caught by Mrs. Norris.

They decided to get Buckbeak and spend some time in the pitch of the forest forbidden to all. Poor Buckbeak, Hagrid’s most adored Hippogriff became a part of their silly escapades. They seemed overjoyed. Little did Eisuke know that tonight, the moon was to gleam a little too much against the black of the night sky.

The duo grabbed his harness and led him into the dark forest oblivious to the nargles luring in the depth of the area. They kept on walking until they reached the area around the whomping willow leaving the hippogriff near the forbidden forest. The two bickered back and forth until the topic of the conversation shifted.

“Soryu was such a dork!” She let out a laugh thinking about to the time on the train when he got all shy the first time they met. Sulking how he got a booger flavoured one in bertie bott’s every flavoured beans. She was still in the midst of hysteric memories when all of a sudden Eisuke stopped. Not feeling his presence beside her, she looked behind to see Eisuke intensely staring at her. A certain glow in his eyes like he was curious about something unusual.

“And what about me?” He asked taking measured steps towards her.

“What...?” She tipped her head to the right dumbfounded.

“What did you think about me the very first time we met?” He asked again once he was within her reach.

“Oh! Well you know you uh,”

Eisuke’s mesmerising gaze robbed her of all her words. Bitterly slowly he raised his hand and cupped her cheek rubbing his thumb across it as if testing something fragile.

“I’m tired of having to share you with Soryu when I want to keep you all to myself” He uttered under his breath but just as he was about to bob his head down, his sight caught the moon. In his state of excitement to be alone with her, he forgot to take his potion. The fully round moon at its very peak glowered brightly as if to mock him of the curse he was bound with.

She sensed the change. The changing colour of his eyes. His limbs taking a more inhuman form. The uncharacteristic change in his body that she roughly had to pull away from. She watched helplessly as he writhed in pain. She almost didn’t want to believe her eyes, that he had turned into a monstrous werewolf. She wanted to think this was a dream but she knew it wasn’t because anything and literally everything could happen in the wizarding world.

“Eisuke?” No reply as the werewolf rubbed his left eye with his hand like paw.

“Eisuke, are you-

That was, until he howled.

Eisuke or to be more clear the werewolf inched towards her perilously. She knew she was in danger.

Just one flick of her wand and she’d be safe. She even knew the spell. But she didn’t. She couldn’t. Because after all, the man under the skin of the werewolf was the one she adored more than anyone. The one she didn’t have the heart to inflict the slightest of injury to. To the one she loved wholeheartedly but had to keep it to herself. She knew this wasn’t Eisuke but it was still him. The werewolf closed onto her.

So she ran.

She ran as fast as her legs could take her. Luckily she was near the forest now. She made a mad dash for the trees so she could hide herself.

Standing behind a wide tree trunk she got some time to catch her breath but the werewolf had caught up to her. Hearing a gruff sound, she twisted her head around to catch a glimpse of the creature.

Avoiding it, she circled the tree but she accidentally came across the beast. A growl from behind caused her to whip backwards only to be met with the glinting eyes of the werewolf. She wanted to scream, but it was of no use. No one could help her.

The monster lurched at her swiftly. She braced herself for the impact but it never came. Instead she watched as buckbeak came to her rescuse chasing the creature away. She needed to get out of the place now. She worried for Eisuke. She had so many questions racing through her mind that only one person could answer.

She tossed and turned in bed as sleep completely left her. Last night’s events ruling her brain.

~~

She climbed down the stairs to the common room, completely empty as it was only six in the morning. As soon as she heard an all too familiar groan, she rushed towards the source of the voice. There, Eisuke was sprawled across one of the couches in the room, his face covered in small cuts and minor bruises , probably from when the hippogriff drove him away.

“OH MY GOSH. ARE YOU OKAY?” She half asked half shrieked, tears instantly pooling in her eyes. She touched his arms which had slightly bigger cuts.

“I- I’m fine. Just a bit.. sore.” He replied with his trademark smirk.

“Shut up! Do you know how scared I was? Why didn’t you tell me?! You twat!” The tears started flowing from here eyes and dropped on his hands as he silently wiped them away. She hugged him tight but not with force that would hurt him.

“Hey, just let me clean up and i’ll tell everything to you, sounds good?” He suggested,tempted to not let go of her but he didn’t want her seeing him in this miserable state.

Half an hour later, they met up at the entrance of the clock tower where, thank god, not a single person was in sight. The second she laid her eyes on him, she jumped into his arms hugging the living daylight out of him. Eisuke, not bothering to resist, wrapped his arms around her too.

“I was worried out of my mind! Do you have any idea what agony I felt when I saw you like that?! You-“

He held a finger to her mouth to shush her and the tears were once again threatening to fall.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry but i’ll explain everything. I guess there’s no use hiding it anymore.” He said in a collected voice to calm her down. But there was a hint of caution in his voice. Almost as if he didn’t want anyone to know his dirty secret.

“You know how I live with Cadmus. Cadmus once took me to his friend’s house where I got lost in the Ottery forest. It was almost midnight and it was a full moon that night. I don’t remember what really happened. I just know that the werewolf got close to me. I was attacked.”

Mc listened with bated breath as Eisuke casted his eyes downwards.

“All of it was a blur. I fainted and they found me somewhere in the middle of the forest. Do you know what happens when a werewolf bites you?” He asked her.

“You turn into a werewolf.”

“I see you’re not that dumb”

“Shut up” He chuckled and continued.

“Yes, that was when it all started. On full moon nights, there was only minor pain. It was bearable. But three years ago, its effects replenished. It got worse. I don’t know if you remember but do you recall me leaving you and soryu to go off somewhere and you’d ask me where I went off to?”

“No..” A quite sob left her body.

“Yeah. I didn’t want to seem pathetic so I just disappeared. I hate it. It’s a curse honestly. The pain is unbearable. But I can’t do anything. Sometimes the wolfsbane potion helps. There was never really anyone I could talk to about it so I never really brought it up. Also i’m so sorry I hurt you last night. For scaring you. For worrying you. I completely forgot about it last night. I really-“

His words were cut off as Mc grabbed the back of his head and softly touched her lips with his. His eyes widened at her subtle boldness but kissed her back. He was at peace. That was exactly what he felt. Maybe she did return his feelings after all.

She pulled away after some time with a tinge of pink on her cheeks. Eisuke too was blushing and that was one exclusive sight.

“I guess i’ve wanted to do that for some time now.” She muttered shyly but he heard her clearly.

“Really? Because same.” He was about to go for another one but she stopped him with a hand to his mouth.

“Hold. Up. How DARE you say you’re pathetic? You’re the most smartest wizard of your age, you know that? Literally every other envies you. And you’ve been enduring this pain for that long? You don’t have to keep everything bottled up! Just talk to me. Talk to Soryu. He’s your best friend! You’re not alone you daft selfish little twat. You’ve got me! And Soryu too! We’ll always help you no matter what! So don’t you ever say that you don’t have anyone!” She burst out with a single tear flowing from her left eye.

“Okay okay, I’ll talk to you about everything. I’m not alone. I get it. Happy now?” He spoke innocently but she crossed her arms with a huff.

He hooked a finger under her chin and gently lifted it.

“Please?” There was the face she failed to say no to.

“Fine” She unfolded her locked arms and turned to him only to see Eisuke gazing at her with the same intensity as last night.

“May I?”

A short nod and he thrashed his soft lips, despite certain cuts, on her silky ones. All words were laden in that one kiss and feelings were being conveyed when,

“Bloody hell”

. . .

hmu if yall want a part 2! This took a big chunk of time. So please don’t let this one flop flop. I kind of screwed at the end.

@miss-alien-pixel @huntertheblackwolf @leoamber66 @kbtbbposts please rate this🥺

[atiny-ahgase]

The Magic Of Love

Author’s note: Hey everyone it’s Gabby again. I’ve had this idea for a while now, but I just didn’t have time to write it, I hope that you all like it. I’m not really familiar with Witchcraft and honestly, I’m not familiar with anything even remotely mystical but I just got this idea and thought that it was cool. So, this is it, hope you like it.

Summary: Y/n is trying their best to balance being a witch and university student at the same time. While they were out shopping for materials they bump into a rather handsome stranger. Small talk revealed that they actually had some classes together like Medieval History and Literature. They soon became hyper-aware of his presence and began wishing for his company. Not trusting your own charms to impress him you decide to conjure up your charms ‘if you get my drift’. What happens when you turn to magic to solve your problems?

--------------------------------------------------

Pairing: Hongjoong x Gender Neutral Reader

Word Count: 4.8k

Genre: Fluff, School au

Contains: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Magic but not really, Gender Neutral Reader,

--------------------------------------------------

Releasing a loud sigh as you feel your perspiration dripping from your brow. “Why did I have to go shopping on literally the hottest day of the year?” you thought as you took a left down the alley slightly tripping over a piece of trash. “There is a trash can like 1 centimetre away, what the hell?” you state while looking at the trashcan in question. With your attention focused on the sheer laziness and disregard that individuals had for their surroundings and the environment as a whole you didn’t notice that you were walking while not exactly looking where you were going. The fact only becoming aware to you when you bumped into someone, causing you to drop along with all of your brown paper grocery bags onto the cold street floor.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry,” you begin while looking up at the stranger whom you collided with. Looking up at him the first thing you realized was his bright blue hair. The cold hue contrasting with the warmth of this eyes. His hair reminded you of the crystal clear skies, vast and beautiful, deep and mesmerizing. His eyes like the brown tree trunks that bordered your childhood home; a brilliant brown filled with life and warmth. “No it’s my fault,” you heard the stranger say, the cheerful tone in his voice catching you off-guard. “Are you okay?” he inquired while bending down to help you up from the spot where you had fallen.

“I’m fine, thanks,” you begin, “I’m a lot tougher than I look”, you beamed at him. You had never seen anyone as handsome as he was; surely you would have remembered. Looking up at him you smile brightly as you hear him release a soft chuckle at your comment, his dazzling smile shining like the midday sun, beautiful and blinding. You grasped his hand in yours, face heating up as you feel the warmth of his hand. Rising up from the floor you quickly dust off your jeans and palms before thanking the kind stranger.

“Thank you, and it really wasn’t your fault,” you confessed, “I just zoned out for a minute.” “Well as long as you’re okay then I guess it doesn’t really matter who’s at fault it is,” he replied before shrugging slightly. Stooping down you begin to retrieve all of your fallen items, placing them back into their bags. As you stayed on the floor you heard the steps of the blue-haired boy begin to fade, guess he’s leaving now.

After collecting all of your things you stand up, holding the paper bags in your hands once more. “I think you forget something,” you hear a voice just a few steps ahead of you. “This one must have gotten away from you,” he joked before handing you a silver can. The sun shone off of its ridges, reflecting the light onto the dark, dismal alleyway walls. “Thank you...again,” you say shyly before taking the can and placing it in your bag. “I’m Hongjoong by the way,” he says while extending his hand to you before pulling it back towards him, a look of embarrassment clearly on his face. “Sorry, your hands are full, you couldn’t shake my hand anyway-,” he began blabbering more to himself than to you. “I’m Y/n,” you interrupted. 

He flashes you another smile as you begin to walk forward, you had finally finished shopping for all of the ingredients that you needed. Not wanting to endure the heat of the day anymore you were heading home to study your potion brewing. You had a big exam coming up and you need to pass if you wanted to be promoted to a higher rank, but at the rate, you were going that seemed almost impossible.

 ----

You had been practising witchcraft for about 5 years now; learning about it from your deceased grandmother. Things were incredibly difficult for you at the beginning as you tried to catch up with your peers. Everyone seemed to be better than you, granted you did start later than everyone else but the school board clearly didn’t care. Because of this, you struggled to make friends and eventually just gave up on the idea as a whole realizing that it wasn’t worth it. 

Usual school wasn’t as difficult to make friends but the relationships never seemed to last long, every time you even tried to get close to someone the relationship acted like a castle of sand, crumbling the moment you try to grasp it. So you cut yourself off from that part of life completely, finding the work unnecessary and the pain too detrimental. Choosing to solely focus on your studies in both usual school and magic school, convincing yourself that relationships were unnecessary especially love. Falling in love was like basically signing your own death wish, like falling off a cliff to your rocky demise.

You were now entering university as well as still furthering your studies in the art of witchcraft. You knew that it was going to be difficult but you weren’t willing to part from either aspects of your life just yet. You had a huge exam coming up and needed to study your potions and spell casting, hence the reason for your unusual shopping trip. You were never really the best at potion making always seeming to choose the wrong ingredients or quantities almost always resulting in an explosion.

Hopefully, you’d have better luck in university; you were just starting a new year at a whole new school filled with a bunch of new people. You are really excited to start especially since all of your past peers opted for going to a school outside of your district. So you didn’t have to worry about your old bullies rearing their ugly heads at you.

-----

While walking you noticed that Hongjoong was going in the same direction as you, which wasn’t too odd considering that it was a pretty small town; there weren’t many places to really go. But that was one thing that you really loved about it, you found comfort in its familiarity. “So are you a local here?” you hear Hongjoong ask from beside you, probably tired of the deafening silence which had formed. “Well kinda”, you began “, I moved here when I was really young and I’ve been here ever since.” 

You both seemed to click almost instantly and you welcomed his company, it had been such a long time since you’ve actually had a real conversation with someone. For being a complete stranger he knew more about you in the few minutes that you both walked together than anyone else in your life. It was amazing how he just broke down walls that you hadn’t even realized you had formed, turning them to rubble before your very eyes. You could honestly talk to him for hours and never get bored, he made every topic sound so riveting, you found yourself hanging off of every word that escaped his lips.

To your dismay, you spotted the bright red roses of your apartment garden much sooner than you had wanted. You couldn’t hide the small frown that had spread across your face once you were hit with the realization that you’d both me parting ways soon. “This is my stop,” you state while gesturing to your apartment building. “Well, I guess that I’ll see you around the Y/n,” he chimes in, sending you another one of his stunning smiles which you immediately return.

You both say your goodbyes before you walk up to your brick staircase and enter your apartment. Upon closing your front door you lent against the cold wood, back pressed up against it you released a soft sigh. He was nice, really nice, it had been so long since you had last enjoyed having a conversation with someone. Most of your conversations lately consisted of bickering with the other witches in your class or defending yourself against the bullies in your school. You had forgotten just how much you had missed pleasant conversations like that, the last time you had smiled so brightly was when you had told your grandmother that you had gotten into magic school. She was so happy, her face lit up like the brightest star on a Christmas tree. That was one of the best memories that you had shared with her; she was always a lively spirit, her young soul would often rub off on you, convincing you to look at the world in a more exciting light. You missed her, you truly did but you’d never forgotten everything that she had taught you, all of the time that you had spent together.

-------

The blaring sound of your morning alarm cut through the silence of the early morning like a knife through butter, shattering your pleasant dreams. Sighing loudly you rollover smashing your hand against the screen in a few futile attempts to turn off your alarm. You groan as you rise from your bed rubbing your eyes in an attempt to remove all remaining sleepiness. Today was the first day of school and even though you weren't really planning on trying to impress anyone you still wanted to look good for yourself. Rolling off of bed you readied yourself for the day deciding on is a simple button-up shirt with your favourite pair of blue jeans and converse sneakers. Your jeans were slightly rolled at the ankle allowing your mismatched socks to be seen, they were honestly your favourite parts of the outfit. Flinging your leather bag over your shoulder you grabbed your phone and keys before exiting the door. The journey to university wasn't that long since your house is fairly close to the campus.

Once you had arrived on compass you unzipped your bag in search of your schedule for the day. The edges of the paper blew violently due to the strong winds you were experiencing. Clutching the paper tightly in an attempt to keep it from flying away, you quickly skimmed through the page in search of your first classroom. Reading over your schedule you notice that your 1st class of the day was , Medieval History, the second floor of the history building room 208. Carefully placing the paper back into your bag you zipped it up before briskly walking to your class. Passing numerous students and faculty members you finally made your way to the large brown building. “How long was this building established?” you wondered before pushing open the doors to enter the Hall.  

Walking to the elevator you pressed the button and waited for it to reach your floor. Standing there you rocked on the soles of your feet mind aimlessly wandering before you heard an all too familiar voice. Looking away from the closed elevator door you notice a fluffy head of bright blue hair. “Are you stalking me, mister Joong?” I enquire, a slight playfulness in my voice. He chuckles from beside you before replying “So you’re really walking around here thinking that my first name is Hong and my family name is Joong?” he queries while cocking his eyebrow at you. 

Smiling brightly you turn to him, “I actually have no idea what your last name is but I had already committed to the sentence so there was no turning back”, you reply. “So you go to school here?” he continues while entering the elevator. “Nah, I just like to take pictures in front of the art wall,” you joke while standing beside him. You reach forward to press the elevator button but your hand stops midway when you realize that your floor has already been pressed. “You heading to room 208?” you question, noticing the textbook in his hand, it's the same textbook that you have in your bag. It was seated comfortably between your journal and binder. “Who is stalking who now?” he jokes, smiling brightly while leaning against the shimmering silver of the elevator walls.

Heading into class, you both sat next to each other at the front row closest to the door. Not long after your arrival, your lecturer began well...lecturing. Retrieving your book from your bag you began diligently taking notes, your attention hanging off of every word that he spoke. Glancing over at Hongjoong you see him slightly hunched over his deck, eyebrows slightly furrowed in concentration as he writes in his book. The class was fairly short as it was the first day and before you knew it you were packing up, getting ready to head to your other class. You and Hongjoong walked side by side discussing the lecture as well as all of your other classes. “I have History now what about you?” he inquired as you both reach the ground floor of the building. “I have a free period now but I have to go to the main admin building to sort out some stuff,” you responded. “Ugh I envy those guys at admin, they get to spend more time with you,” he spoke while nudging you gently. You couldn't help the blush that crept up on your face, heating up your body. “I’ll see you next class right,” you continued before exchanging numbers with each other.

----

“Okay, so I add this powder to the base and the liquid should turn from clear to purple right?” you ask yourself while standing over your pot. This was the 5th time you were trying this out with no success. This was not the time to be messing up, your potions exam is in 1 week. At this rate, you'll never be promoted to a higher rank. Looking down at the pot you sigh defeatedly “, Still clear.” You slumped down onto the pillowy cushions of your mint green couch allowing your body to be wrapped in its soft embrace. “This isn’t amateur hour Y/n, it wasn't supposed to happen like this,” you spoke softly and you were right. It wasn't supposed to happen like this, you weren't supposed to spend all your time with him, you needed to study and you knew that but then why? Why were you so drawn to him? This had never happened before so why now? Why him?

You've been in university for 2 months now and you'd hardly studied for anything whether it be magic-related or not. But do you know what you have done? Hang out with Hongjoong a lot, you both went to the movies, campus café and library under the pretense of studying but you both just ended up talking about your favourite authors and guess what? You both liked the same writer. You had never meshed with anyone that well before. You felt like you could talk to him for hours about everything and nothing at all. He made you feel, for lack of better words, like you were floating. You could talk with him for hours and it would only seem like a few minutes to you. If you should spend your entire university life next to him you would.

But you knew that you couldn’t because he's way too popular to want you by his side 24/7. This thought became clear to you when you had agreed to meet up with Hongjoong at your University Café. Walking into the quaint little shop you were greeted by the smell of freshly baked banana bread; your favourite. Scanning the shop you quickly spotted Hongjoong sitting in the corner with 7 other guys, seemingly causing chaos in the once quiet shop. You smiled brightly as you waved at him, gulping down that feeling of social awkwardness you always get around large groups you sat next to him. He had saved a seat for you.

After ordering your coffee the guys all started to have what appeared to be a very lively conversation but you couldn't focus on anything they were saying. It was something about a party that was happening later in the week that was surely gonna have a bunch of really attractive people attending. That was kinda when you zoned out, Hongjoong was out of your league and you knew it. He was smart, sweet, talented, handsome, caring and so much more. Meanwhile, you were struggling to keep up with your workload, your hair was a mess and you have to mentally prepare yourself before even raising your hand in class to ask a question. He seemed to be so put together while you were just falling apart more and more each day.

But still, you wanted to be beside him even if it was only for a little bit longer, you weren't ready to let go of him yet. Releasing a loud sigh over how absolutely stupid you were being you plopped yourself down; rather clumsily I might add, unto your couch causing the book which was hanging on for dear life to fall onto the cold wooden floor. Bending down you realize that it was one of the magic books that you had borrowed from the library. Picking it up you see a piece of paper slip out from between the pages. Grasping it in your hands you carefully unfold it and read the words. “Love Potion”, you read “, Upon consumption, the subject will confess to the first person they see.” You rub your eyes briskly to ensure that what you were seeing was right. A potion that makes you fall in love with the first person you saw? Surely that was too good to be true. If you were to use it on- no you can't even think about using it on Hongjoong. What were you even thinking? Practicing unsanctioned magic was against the rules. But...why was that the only thing stopping you from making this potion? You are pulled from your thoughts by the ringing sound of your cell phone.

“Hello?” you answer, too preoccupied to look at the caller ID. Listening through the phone all you hear is hushed mumbling. Looking at your screen you realized that it was Hongjoong, but why would he be calling at this hour? He was supposed to be at a party with the others. He must have called you by mistake, you deduce. Readying yourself to end the call you stopped when you heard an unfamiliar voice come through the phone. “I like you,” it said. In that instance, you felt as though your entire world was crashing down before you. He was being confessed to? Why did this even shock you? Someone like Hongjoong would surely find someone to date in a matter of time, he's just that wonderful. Of course, people would fall for him, you definitely did. “Sorry,” you hear him say in that oh so sweet voice that you loved so very much “, I have my plate full with school so I don't really think that I should be getting into a relationship”.

That was all that you needed to hear. Sure you felt sorry for the person that had confessed, at least they had the balls to do it, unlike a certain someone. That was when you had finally made your choice, you were making that potion. You didn't care if you got caught by your magic teachers, Hongjoong was worth the risk. Reading over the list of ingredients you ransacked your apartment in search of everything that you needed. Thankfully you had everything since you had gone shopping for more supplies only days before. Looking over your instructions again you noticed a small disclaimer at the bottom of the page. “Disclaimer: Potion will be ineffective if the subject is already in love; there is no force stronger than true love”. Were you really going to do this? Yeah, you were.

----------------

Everything was finally in place. You had made the potion and mixed it in with cupcake batter in order to mask the taste. You had invited Hongjoong over for a study session which he immediately accepted because even he knew that you needed all the help you could get. Placing your hand over your heart you attempted to calm your breathing before he arrived. Too late. The ringing of your doorbell caused you to jump from your seat. Trying to keep your cool you opened the door and smiled at him. He wore his blue hair slightly wavy which gave it this adorable fluffy look, he looked so cute. He had a bright yellow barrett and matching yellow turtle neck which he wore under his opened coat. Upon seeing you he returned your smile before stepping into your apartment.

“Something smells good”, he states while resting his coat on your coach. “Yeah I baked cupcakes,” you chimed in while trying to sound excited. “Shouldn’t you be studying instead of baking,” he inquired while quirking a playful eyebrow at you. You chuckled at his playfulness before heading to the kitchen to grab 2 muffins. “I just wanted to thank you for coming over to help me. You didn’t have to so I really appreciate it,” you said before handing him the muffin. “What if I want that one?” he asked while pointing to the muffin in your other hand and pouting. “I picked this one out for you because it has the most blueberries and they remind me of your hair,” you whined at him. You could of sworn that you had seen him blush. “Thank you,” he mumbles before taking the muffin from your hand and taking a bite. In those moments you thought that your heart was going to explode. This was what you had been waiting for and it frightened you so much more than you had expected.

“Y/n I love”, he began while wiping the muffin crumbs off of his mouth “, these muffins”. You felt your heart sink and you knew that Hongjoong could tell. If the potion didn't work there was only one reason why; he had liked someone else. You tried your best to play it off but there was honestly no hiding your disappointment. You ate your muffin before you both sat on the couch to go over your notes and begin studying for your upcoming exam but Hongjoong knew that you weren't feeling it. “Let’s take a break okay Y/n,” he said before standing up to stretch his legs. You, however, stayed completely still on the couch, your mind somewhere else completely. 

“When exams are over Mingi is gonna hold a party, well it's more like a little get together. Do you wanna come?” Hongjoong asked from beside your window sill. The silver moonlight illuminating his face so flawlessly. Your mind wandered back to the party that Hongjoong had gone to previously, the bad memories of his confession eating you up inside. “How was the last party?” you asked, catching Hongjoong off guard. “Same old same old I guess. Would have been more fun if you were there,” he smiled at you, an uncertain look in his bright brown eyes. “So nothing interesting happened?” you pushed, you had no idea why you were pestering him. You were just so mad and disappointed in yourself that you had to let it out. Granted absolutely nothing was Hongjoong’s fault you still needed to get out your frustrations and he was the only one here so...

He paused for a moment, attempting to recall the events from that night. “San and Wooyoung threw Sangie into the pool. It was pretty funny,” he smiled at you. That had always been your weakness. He had always been your weakness. Even in your shocked and disappointed state he still managed to make you smile. You were so jealous of the person who had his heart, you hoped that they would cherish it the same way that you did. The rest of the night carried on with no hiccups, Hongjoong thought you, you kinda listened and kinda stole glances at him every chance you could get. Just because he was in love with someone else didn’t mean that you weren’t still in love with him. After about 5 hours of you being almost completely lost, Hongjoong decided that it was time to call it quits for the night. Although you were happy that you could finally be alone with your thoughts you also dreaded this moment because you had to now be alone with your thoughts. There was no Hongjoong to distract you from well...Hongjoong. You both said you goodbyes before he pulled you into a hug, one hand resting on your back as the other one stayed on the back of your head, rubbing it gently. You rested your head on his shoulder and breathed in his scent. You hand never hugged him before, he smelt of cologne and vanilla. You were determined to engrave that scent into your memory because you probably weren’t going to be getting any more hugs from him after what you were about to do.

So what if the potion didn’t work? So what if he loved someone else? Honestly, who cares? The only thing you cared about was him and you needed him to know that. You couldn’t just sit around and mope about it, you needed to let it out, otherwise, how would you heal? You gripped the back of his shirt when you felt him begin to pull away. “Just a moment more,” you thought. You felt him stiffen in your arms but he simply wrapped his arms around you once more and pulled you even closer to him. That was all it took for your heart to burst. All of the emotions that you had harboured for those 2 months, 1 week and 2 days were finally breaking through to the surface and you could do little to stop it. You felt a single run down your face, its warmth paling in comparison to the warmth of Hongjoong’s embrace. You opened your mouth to speak, thinking that it would be easier for you to confess if you didn’t have to see the disappointment in his face. But he beat you to it.

“If you keep doing things like this I’m going to get the wrong idea,” he whispered, arms engulfing your body in his own. “If you keep breaking down my walls I’ll be left defenseless,” he continued as he nuzzled his face into your neck, his warm breath tickling you slightly. Were you hearing correctly? Was he actually saying this to you? You gripped his shirt even tighter, nails slightly grazing the skin on his back, but he didn’t seem to mind. “I-If you’re defenseless,” you began while swallowing the lump in your throat, your voice shivering in anxiety “, then I’ll protect you. That’s the deal; my heart for yours.” You thought that it was impossible for Hongjoong to hold you tighter than he already was but Hongjoong always seems to find a way. “No take-backs okay? Once I give you my heart it’s yours forever,” he spoke pulling away from you, his eyes searching yours for any ounce of uncertainty. Finding none he gently cupped your cheek, his thumb aimlessly drawing circles on your skin as he smiled at you, but the smile never reached to his eyes as his hand slowly shifted down your cheek to allow his thumb to caress your lips. They quivered at the contact as your body froze under his intense gaze. You had never seen him look that way before, and the fact that he was looking at you made this moment even more unbearable.

“Joong,” you squeaked out, eyes silently pleading for him to do something, anything. Once you had broken the silence that was the last straw, it was as though your voice was the last raindrop that broke through a dam of emotion. His hand stayed on your cheek as the other wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer. In direct contrast with the hasty movements of his hands his plush lips glided across yours with such gentleness, it felt as though you were kissing a feather, light and airy. You both eventually pulled away from the kiss, in desperate need of air but that didn’t stop Hongjoong from placing small, breathless kisses along your neck and literally, anywhere he could attach his lips to. You chuckled slightly as his hair tickled your sensitive skin. Placing your hand on the nape of his neck, you caressed his head, fingers tangling in the blue ocean of his head. “I love you so much Y/n,” you hear him mumble from against your neck. You couldn’t stop the blush that had crept up your face at his words. You had dreamt about him saying those words to you for so long and now that he had finally said it you feel as though your heart was going to explode. But you couldn’t let that happen, your heart was his now. “I love you to Joongie,” you softly whisper as you wrap your arms around him.

[guccybangtan]

tomorrow and forever - jung hoseok

 pairing; hoseok x reader

genre; angst (happy ending)

rating; pg-15 

word count; 2606

disclaimers; mentions of cheating, readers mom is a hoseok hater, also a control freak, baby panic attack (mostly symptoms, really brief), cursing, relationship problems; let me know if anything needs to be added

summary; you and hoseok were supposed to have a nice dinner for your anniversary. when he tells you he has to stay late at work you don't think anything of it; at least until Jimin sends you a few questionable photos.

a/n; this is my little piece for @ultkpopnetwork​ ‘s “A Walk With BTS’’ 7th anniversary celebration! I chose the song fake love but I don't know if I really stuck with it that well lol sorry. this was supposed to be angsty but like usual not too sure if it worked! 

let me know what you think :) 

listen to;

- fake love | bts

- 4 am | Melanie Fiona

- who | lauv ft. bts

You’d stopped expecting things from Hoseok a while ago. Every time you planned a date or took time off of work to see him, you were blown off with the excuse of another time.

In the beginning of your relationship, everything seemed to be straight out of a fairytale. Hoseok took you on a plethora of dates: watching the sunset on the Han River, visiting hole in the wall cafés, touring local parks in Seoul, anything you felt like. You’d had some of the best times of your life with Hoseok and you would never dream of  trading them for the world.

Even though it seemed like everything was going great in your relationship, things turned sour rather quickly. It was as if the moment you made it past your one year anniversary, things were destined to fall apart.

When Hoseok had first asked you out, he made sure that you understood he wouldn’t always have time for you. He loved you very much, but his job, the music,- came first.

“You know I care about you, Y/N,’’ Hoseok said to you as he grasped your hand over the dinner table, “but the music comes first.’’

“I know, Hobi,’’ You squeezed his hand, hoping to reassure the man.

You’d had that conversation over coffee on your third date. It was quite obvious that Hoseok was infatuated with you, but you could also sense the hesitance in his demeanor. This was as far as he’d ever made it with a girl in his career. Most women only wanted to be with him because of his money and status. Things never usually lasted past the first date, but he knew you were different. He could feel it.

You stayed true to your word, never arguing when he had to stay late to help one of the others with the choreography, or when Namjoon asked him to stay late in the studio to re record a verse or two. You never mentioned how you felt when you saw all the beautiful women fawning over him, screaming his name (plus a few other not so appropriate things). You didn’t even say anything when he missed your anniversary dinner. The dinner that he swore up and down he wouldn’t miss since “a year is a huge milestone!’’

“Don’t worry about it,’’ you shook your head as you spoke to your phone. It was resting on your vanity, Hoseok’s voice blaring through the speaker. You had been finishing up your makeup for the evening, readying yourself for your dinner reservation in Gangnam at some fancy restaurant Hoseok had picked out.

Hoseok had said he was going to finish what he was working on and be home by six, and you two would be out the door by six thirty. Not anymore apparently, considering the fact that he was required to stay late again.

Your heart ached as you pressed end call, shoulders sagging against the back of your chair. You should stop expecting him to come through. One can only be let down so many times before they stop even looking up.

Just as quickly as the call ended, you pulled out your makeup remover and began to wipe the product from your face. Your makeup had looked the best you’d ever been able to do, and now all that hard work was going down the drain.

The silence was deafening as you sat in your shared bedroom. It didn't take long to remove an hour's worth of work and you slipped out of your dress into some comfier sleep clothes.

You had always hoped against all hope that things would be different. You prayed that your family was wrong; that he was different.

When you first got with Hoseok, your family was immediately judgemental of his lifestyle, claiming he couldn’t be tied down to someone while living the way he was.

“He’ll never be able to please you.’’ Your mother seethed over the phone. She was angry that you wouldn’t marry her friend's son, Minsik, and of course because of this, she had an obvious distaste for Hoseok.

Always the control freak, your mother felt that she was allowed to dictate every aspect of your life, even going as far to calling your boss to tell him she didn’t like you working late. You didn’t even live with her for christ sake! Still, she felt as if she had free reign over your life and it had always been an issue.

She was the same way with your brother. It was the same reason he decided to move far away from her.

You’d explained to your mother that this was your life, and you knew what you were committing to with Hoseok. You said if she didn’t like it she didn’t have to see him.

True to her word, Hoseok was never invited to any family get togethers, and she’d refuse to attend any birthday celebrations as long as he was there.

“She’ll come around,’’ Your father told you after your birthday a few months ago.. It hadn’t been the first time he told you this, and you figured it wouldn’t be the last.

After settling into bed, you found yourself restless.

While it wasn’t unusual to be alone at this hour, you found yourself more lonely than usual.

Hoseok hadn’t given you an estimate on when he’d be home, so you now had to busy yourself for an indefinite amount of time. Sleeping would probably be the smartest option, but your brain was too busy for that. You trusted Hoseok. He’d finish whatever he was doing and hopefully be home in your arms before midnight. Maybe you’d get to spend a little bit of your anniversary together.

Deciding that sleep would in fact be the best option to pass the time, you let yourself relax against the pillows.

You hadn’t even fallen completely asleep before the buzzing of your phone woke you up.

You’d gotten a text message from Jimin.

The two of you were friends, and you were close enough, but for him to be texting you after six? Quite the anomaly.

Opening the message, you felt your heart drop. Jimin had sent you a picture of Hoseok sitting at a table with one of their backup dancers practically in his lap. The photo was from the back, so you couldn’t see his face, but by his body language it looked like he was enjoying the attention.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm the racing of your heart, but it didn’t help.

‘Think about this, Y/N,’ you thought to yourself. Being rash and jumping to conclusions would do you no good.

Throwing the covers back, you stood up out of bed.

“Get some water,’’ You said out loud to yourself as you walked into the bathroom, flicking on the light. Letting the water run out of the faucet, you filled up a cup of water and took a long drink.

As you made your way back into the bedroom, your phone lit up with another notification.

Jimin had sent you another photo.

You opened this one with more hesitation than the last, only to have your suspicions confirmed.

In this photo they were standing up. Hoseok’s arms were wrapped around the girls middle, and it looked like he was tilting his head to expose his neck. It was clear she was kissing him.

You locked your phone and threw it on the bed.

What should you do? Are you supposed to just wait for him to come home and pretend like nothing happened? If he was really cheating on you, how long had it been going on for? Did he ever love you at all?

There were a million questions racing through your mind, but there was one thought that trumped them all.

Mom was right.

You needed to leave.

You fumbled through your closet, digging for your carry on bag. It was small enough for you to carry without hassle but you’d be able to fit enough things in it to last for a few days.

As you were shoving clothes into the bag, you could see your phone ringing a few feet away. Jimin’s name lit up the screen.

Not wanting to hear anymore bad news, you ignored the call, continuing on your mission to pack up and leave.

It wasn’t right to just up and leave Hoseok like this, but it also wasn’t right for him to play you like boo boo the fool for a whole year.

“This is for the best.’’ You said to yourself.

You were almost finished with your clothes, and the buzzing had stopped a while ago.

Now all you needed was your toiletries.

Heading back into the bathroom, you stopped at the sound of the front door opening.

Without second thought you left your items on the bed and walked out to the living room.

You weren’t sure who you expected it to be, but you were shocked nevertheless when you were met with the sight of Hoseok.

You had made not a peep, but still, Hoseok whipped around to face you.

“Y/N!’’ He exclaimed, nearly tripping as he tried to remove his shoes.

“Don’t.’’

“Hear me out!” Hoseok cried, managing to right himself.

He’d stepped back in front of the door which prevented you from leaving your shared apartment.

Not that you’d leave without your stuff.

The two of you stood there, both unmoving, also refusing to say anything.

Unable to stand under Hoseok’s scrutinizing gaze, you looked to the ground.

The look plastered on his face would have been enough to stop you in your tracks but with your gaze trained on the floor, you missed the pain his eyes held.

You’d never been closed off with Hoseok. The two of you communicated very well and it was one of the reasons you two had been able to make it this far. Seeing you act like this was very upsetting.

It was obvious Hoseok was trying to hold back tears, not wanting to let his emotions get the best of the situation. He was so afraid of losing you, he didn’t want to do anything to escalate the situation. If you’d just listen to him he’d explain!

“Why the fuck should I listen you, Hoseok.’’ You spat, finally looking back up at him. “It’s obvious your words mean nothing.’’

You shouldn’t be talking to him like this. You know that. You can’t help the venom that begins to lace your tone. You were angry.

Hoseok had never given you a reason not to trust him, but it wasn’t like those photos came from a fan. Jimin had sent them to you. Sweet, trusting Jimin. The same Jimin who pushed Hoseok to ask you out in the first place. He had no reason to send you those pictures as a prank. He had to be seriously concerned in order to meddle in your business.

“Baby, it’s not what it-’’

“Don’t ‘baby’ me,’’ You shook your head, feeling the tears begin to well up in your own eyes, “pictures speak louder than words.’’

“What pictures?” Hoseok asked as he took off after you down the hallway.

You snatched your phone off the bed and quickly punched in your pass code.

“Are you gonna tell me what you’re talking about? Jimin just said- what’s all that?” Hoseok cut himself off, eyes wide as he saw your run away bag.

You didn’t reply.

“You were gonna leave?”

“Why would I stay when it’s obvious you don’t love me!” You finally screamed.

Pulling up the text thread you threw the phone at Hoseok.

He rolled his jaw in annoyance.

“Jimin needs to stay the fuck out of my business.’’ Hoseok scoffed, shutting the phone off and tossing it back to the bed.

“Why, so you could keep on fucking other girls while I sat here alone? Waiting for you like I promised!” You couldn’t hold in the tears anymore.

“I’m not fucking anyone other than you, Y/N!” “Then why did Jimin send me those pictures!”

“Because he’s a fucking idiot!”

Banging on the wall knocked both of you back to your senses.

A faint “keep it down!” could be heard through the plaster.

“At least I wasn’t gonna run away from all of my problems.’’ Hoseok spat at you.

“At least I’m not a fucking liar.’’ You replied, going back to packing.

You were almost done. You could almost go.

“What are you doing?” Hoseok ripped the bag from your hands.

“I’m leaving. Give me my stuff.’’

Hoseok let out a laugh, “you’re not going anywhere. You’re gonna sit, and we’re gonna talk like adults.’’

“I’m not doing anything. I don’t want to hear you say you did it.’’ You shook your head, reaching for the bag now held above his head.

“I didn’t do anything!”

God, you were stubborn.

You were practically pressed up against him as you tried to grab your bag, so Hoseok just tossed it back to the closet and wound his arms around your waist, effectively trapping you in his embrace.

“What are you doing?” You tried to wiggle out of his grasp.

“She came onto me, Y/N.’’ Hoseok said, pulling you tighter to his chest.

Fuck, he really didn’t want to lose you.

“Jimin couldn’t hear what was going on because he was sitting with Namjoon. He totally misread the situation. Why do you think he called you five times?” Oh. You hadn’t thought about it like that.

“As soon as she tried to kiss me I pushed her off.’’

“It looked like she was kissing your neck.’’ You pulled his chin to the side, inspecting his skin.

It was free of marks. It was just nice and tan like usual.

“I was trying to move away from her lips.’’ He chuckled.

Maybe things were gonna be okay.

As you continued to try to poke holes in his story with your questions, Hoseok answered every one of them, never deeming any of them as stupid.

Eventually, you became pliant in his arms, feeling like a total bitch for reacting the way you did.

The two of you sat on the bed as you hung your head in shame.

“It’s okay, Y/N/N. I know you.’’ Hoseok soothed as he pressed a light kiss to your forehead. “The minute Jimin told me his fuck up I knew you’d react bad.’’

“I just.. I worry sometimes. You’re an amazingly handsome rich man in the biggest boy band in the world! I’m just me. Plain ole Y/N. You belong with someone like her.’’ You let your shoulders sag.

You’d always been a bit insecure of yourself, but Hoseok was always there to reassure you.

“I love my plain ole Y/N,’’ Hoseok spoke, “you keep me grounded. Helps me stay on track.’’

“Let’s go to bed, yeah?”

You nodded, slipping back under the covers.

You watched Hoseok as he took off his jacket, white tee following soon after. Shimmying out of his jeans, he crawled into bed with nothing but boxers on.

“I’m sorry for overreacting.’’ You said again when Hoseok switched off the lamp.

“It’s alright baby.’’ Hoseok pulled you into his chest.

You shifted so your head was resting against where his heart was, letting the steady beat relax you.

“We’ll do something tomorrow.’’ Hoseok spoke out of the blue.

“Since we didn’t get to do anything for our anniversary today, we’ll go tomorrow.’’

You just nodded, ready for this day to be over.

“We’ve got tomorrow and forever, Y/N/N. It’ll be the first year of many.’’