#it's not their fault but people in my mythology class have such BORING takes on them

[agnesandhilda]

I can’t believe I’m saying this but shut up about achilles and patroclus I don’t care about achilles and patroclus

[obeymeluv]

Give Me Noods [Mammon x Reader]

I’m new to the fandom. Just thought of this and couldn’t let it go. It’s SFW.

Border from cutekaomoji.

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 Being human means you can’t have some Devildom foods but a witch has the solution! You just need Devil’s Tongue.

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 Give Me Noods [Mammon x Reader]

There was a lot to get used to when it came to being a transfer student in the Devildom—classes, people with tails and horns, real magic, stairs…so many fucking stairs—and food was a big one. While explaining almost everything one could hope to learn about the Devildom, they often forgot about the intricacies of their own food. Some food actually tried to eat you back or put up a fight! You were really grateful when mashed potatoes turned out to be just mashed potatoes. A few succubi from your Latin class giggled and cooed over how apprehensive you were, poking at today’s food.

Looked like some sort of meat in a gravy sauce. You were pretty sure that Brussel sprout-looking thing just closed itself though, little baby leaves rustling in defiance. They showed you how to peel away the bitter outer leaves and open it up to reveal a sweet, crunchy center that tasted like Caesar salad. “Weird,” you whispered into your fork, suspicious of how yummy and tender the meat was. The gravy was very flavorful, if not a little salty.

It definitely made up for some of the other things you’d tried so far.

“What’s wrong?” one asked you, looking absolutely smitten. These Devildom people had a thing for humans—apparently you were rare?—and you were still getting used to it. You felt like a class pet.

“Nothing, I just—” you caught a whiff of something spicy and sweet that made your mouth water. It made you perk up a little bit, much to the delight of the succubi. They thought it was funny when you got excited about their boring world. “Do you smell that? It smells good!”

Succubi noses were different than human noses, and your definition of ‘smells good’ was totally different. You were trying to explain how it smelled like the best thing ever, something spicy and savory that demanded to be eaten.

“What needs to be eaten?” you nearly jumped out of your skin, a shock of orange hair coming into view. You were a lot closer to Beelzebub than you thought! He unfolded himself from the lunch table, casually holding a tray full of food as he looked at you.

“The yummy, spicy thing!” you were excited now. Beel could see the stars in your eyes and it made him grin. He finished the burger and moved onto a jerky-wrapped hunk of…something. There were several spicy items in the Devildom—spiced kraken sticks, fire-roasted devil bird, Hell pepper-stuffed pig—but he didn’t recall any of them being served today. Mammon plunked down at the table, his self-declared arrival ignored.

He ripped open a packet of hell sauce and stirred it into the hot noodles. “It smells like--! Mammon, what are you eating?” Mammon nearly choked on the coated noodles when he looked up at the sheer curiosity and hunger shining in your eyes. He grew up with Beel, he knew that look! “These are my noodles!” he grumped, stuffing more into his mouth and turning away sharply. The pointed edge of his teeth glinted in the light, his greedy demon ways shining through.

“I just want to know what it is, I’d like to try it!” you assured him. Mammon eyed you suspiciously, well aware that Beel could wrestle the noodles away from him. Sure he could just tell you, being THE great Mammon and all, but where was the fun in that?

“You got any Grimm on you?” Mammon licked a tiny piece of noodle from the corner of his lip, sizing you up. It was more a joke than anything, but if you wanted to donate out of the kindness of your heart…

One of the succubi at your back hissed and Mammon scoffed in return. Beel gave him a cold, piercing look. Mammon sniffed, turning his nose up at the disapproval. “She lives with us,” Beel reminded.

“And you shouldn’t be rude to house guests, dirty Mammon!” Asmodeus cut in as he sat down, offering for one of the succubi to squeeze in beside him.

“They’re hell-sauce noodles.” Mammon grumbled into the cup.

“Thanks Mammon!” you flashed him a smile he shouldn’t like and didn’t care about because that would be stupid while turning to ask the girls if they had anymore up front. They whisked you away to find them, all too eager to see how the little human reacted.

“You shouldn’t get her hopes up,” Satan shook his head as he picked at his lunch. “Humans can’t eat them. It’ll make them sick.”

“All I did was tell her, and I didn’t even charge her! Not my fault if she can’t eat it!” Mammon shrugged as he went back to scarfing down his noodles. Although there was a twinge of guilt that you would never know the wallet-busting greatness of hell-sauce noodles, Mammon couldn’t feel bad for the package that would end up in the pantry. He just had to get to them before Beel.

His great plan was foiled when he came home to Lucifer, Lord Diavolo, the succubus that’d hissed at him, and an unknown woman standing in the foyer. Then again, his plan was ruined when that withered excuse of a professor gave him a lecture for being on his D.D.D. He was checking his business prospects, thank you very much! Mammon slipped past the group, starting for the kitchen when he overheard something that made him stop entirely.

“So she could eat these if she had Devil’s Tongue.”

“All this for some noodles? I don’t want to kill anyone.” You shook your head with a disappointed sigh. The noise was abruptly swallowed by the raucous laughter of several people. Your human brain would think Devil’s Tongue meant the part itself, but Mammon knew better. That other one must be a witch, then, Mammon’s eyes narrowed behind his yellow sunglasses as a slinked up around the edge of the wall.

“It’s a protective spell,” the witch explained. “Devil’s Tongue would prevent your mouth from being destroyed by the hell-sauce.”

“We shared hell-sauce with some humans once,” the succubus said, “it led to the creation of a lot of your hot sauces but they eventually went mad from the heat.”

“To an obsessive degree,” the witch added grimly. “Some say that’s where hot-tempered people came from.”

“This hell-sauce won’t do that to you, though. It’s been bred down for a couple of centuries.” Beel smiled warmly, a bit of drool threatening to dot the corner of his mouth as the witch waved your pack of noodles around.

“But the heat could make you very sick,” the witch cautioned. “Much worse than your human-world peppers. Those peppers never could accurately capture hell-sauce flavor, but you ended up with a lot of varieties. A small success, I suppose.”

You knew devils made their way into human mythology but never imagined they had anything to do with your food. A food history class would be an interesting elective! You made a mental note to ask Lucifer or Diavolo if they had one to take after you ate these damn noodles. Satan looked like he wanted to add onto the conversation and before he could—bless his nerdy heart—you gently wrestled the pack away from the witch and squeezed it. “I want these noodles. How can I eat them?”

“With the blessing of Devil’s Tongue.” The witch said again, a vague smile playing at her lips. It sharpened and turned smug.

“Meaning?”

“A simple kiss. A blessing of the devil’s tongue.”

Surely a kiss on the lips was acceptable! “That’s it?” just don’t look at any of the hot guys and don’t think about it. It’ll probably only take a second! You’d just barely tilted your chin up, subconsciously bracing yourself as Asmo flew in from who knew where. The blur of wings and perfect hair never caught up to you, Mammon snatching you up in a body-crushing whirl that sent Asmo skidding past you.

“You don’t even like hell-sauce noodles!” Mammon snapped, hugging you to his chest like some kind of doll. You fixed your hair. “The GREAT Mammon has decided to help you, human!” he flashed you a big smile.

“And how are you better than me, Mammon?” Asmo crossed his arms, glaring at his older brother. “This is about a delicate matter, not money. Doesn’t sound like you’re qualified, really.” He smiled cutely but coldly, tossing his hand up in mock casualness despite it clearly being dismissal.

“Because it’s my favorite food!” Mammon replied matter-of-factly. Everyone knew it, too.

“Which should be considered. Their palette will influence how you taste things.” the witch looked much too happy with herself and what was happening.

“So she should really choose Beel or Mammon.” Lucifer crossed his arms, the corner of his mouth turning up at Asmo’s heartbroken face.

“And she’s going to pick me because I’M the best!” Mammon declared proudly, lifting you up to meet his gaze. It would’ve been a really sweet gesture if you were dating (and not in a skirt, sorry Diavolo).

The witch pressed a blue bottle into your hand. “Drink that, then get your dose of Devil’s Tongue.” she turned away to address the spread of papers that Lucifer and Diavolo had on the table. You looked at the vial, turning the ornately carved bottle in your hand as Mammon set you down. He all but dragged you down the hall and behind the safety of the heavy wood doors suited for the marvelous house. The room was thrown into shadows only lit by Mammon’s piercing eyes. Gentle eyes.

He pulled his D.D.D. from his pocket, your faces cast in a mesmerizing and ghoulish blue. You fumbled with the cork and sipped the brew. Sweet with tartness on its heel, the flavor soon became overwhelming to the point where you couldn’t taste anything at all. It felt like it was…neutralizing your mouth. Mammon’s lips stuttered across yours, landing at the side of your nose before sinking down.

Once, twice, three times…

The space around you exploded with heat, your back and hair scraping along the wall as Mammon lifted you up. His arms were unexpectedly and deliciously corded, holding you in place. Holding you up for him. The kiss was very Mammon—clumsy and stumbling but determined, The Avatar of Greed’s confidence growing as he took everything.

A near-inaudible splintering noise registered at the edge of your conscience, second to Mammon’s breathy moan as he pressed into you. You swore you felt claws prick you; you arched into the white-haired devil. Mammon slowed his pace, the kiss turning languid instead of desperate. Purely indulgent, like he had all the time in the world with you. You started pushing on his shoulders, finding it hard to breathe.

Demons probably had bigger lungs or something. You took your hands from wherever they’d been—between your bodies? Around his shoulders?—and started to press against his face when the door rattled with a couple of knocks only Lucifer was capable of. Mammon’s lips dragged off of yours, seemingly reluctantly, when the door burst open. He put his arm above your head, casual as ever, and you wondered if it was to keep the light out of your face.

Mammon squinted against it, looking almost as dazed as you. Your eyes were still adjusting to the sudden change but you didn’t need much time to see him still staring at your lips. He set you down, letting the witch steal you from under his arm. The second-eldest fixed his sunglasses as he stepped out into the lit hallway, ignoring Lucifer (and the heat he felt creeping up his neck and ears). His horns retreated into the skin of his forehead, hair shifting to cover them as his wings folded with a leathery whisper.

Had you even noticed? Damn, he was stupid to get carried away like that! Did he regret it though? Mammon hardly regretted anything and wasn’t sure if this counted. Oh well, at least he could throw it down when any of his brothers annoyed him.

Blue sparks danced on your tongue, the inside of your mouth a pale blue.

“It worked,” she cupped your chin and patted your cheek like an old lady. It made you wonder how old she really was. “You’ve got twenty-four hours to eat whatever you want!”

Mammon took your hand and darted off to the kitchen, keen on avoiding as many of his brothers as possible. It would just eat up your time, he’d argue. He’d rather not hear Asmo whine, anyways. So there you sat in the House of Lamentation’s kitchen, Mammon’s secret stash of hell-sauce noodles piled between you. He showed you how to cook them and helped himself to a cup.

They were divine! Similar to a lot of human foods but with some kind of otherworldly decadence. Something that put the noodles above all else. And this was cheap for Devildom standards! You wondered if their high-end food had the same effect. Was it something only devil’s could taste? Why did Beel have such a craving for human food when stuff tasted THIS good?

Maybe everything they ate had hidden flavors or something. You literally had to have magic to eat this! Mammon laughed to the point of choking as you continued to stuff your cheeks and scarf the noodles down. It was so good! You could just eat and eat and…wait…when you kissed Mammon did you get some of his greediness?

This WAS his favorite food, after all. You just had to have one more bite. One more bite, one more bite, one more bite! your brain chanted and your taste buds begged the same. It got to a point where you could eat no more, too full to move and too full to regret anything. The great Mammon felt bad for your overindulgence and offered his knee to put your head on instead of the stone floor.

He found it strangely heartwarming that you could look so miserable and adorable at the same time. “You gonna make it, human?” he scraped the bowl for the last noodle, mouthed the sauce off the end of the chopstick, and poked you in the cheek.

“Yeah,” you nodded your head, holding your stomach. “Just full. Very full.”

You felt like you’d eaten enough for the next day. Long enough for the spell to wear off, at least. Mammon seemed to have the same thought, an amused and almost teasing grin on his face as he looked down at you. He held your head as he unfolded his legs, turned around, and laid down beside you. “You just let the great Mammon know when you want to do this again,” he tucked his arms under his head and adjusted his shoulders, “I’ll make time for you.”

[teenwolffanclub-me]

Season 1, Episode 2: Second Chance at First Line (Part Two)

Hey there beautiful reader! If you’re new here, this is a series I’m writing where each chapter is an episode from the first season of Teen Wolf. If you’ve been here before, hey! I missed you! Previous and future chapters are linked at the end of each part if you want to catch up.

Pairing: Stiles x Psychic! Reader (eventually)

P.S. Stiles and Scott are really bad at keeping secrets and Jackson is a suspicious asshole.

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I stared down at my algebra homework, the numbers blurring together until I couldn’t read them anymore. I blinked a few times in an effort to clear my vision. My head was killing me. I groaned and slammed my pencil down onto the desk in front of me. I’d been working on this for almost an hour now, but I couldn’t quiet my mind. It was already dark outside and I wasn’t even close to being done.

Every time I closed my eyes, gruesome images flashed behind them. Scott and Stiles walking through the forest with shovels, half a body buried in the earth, mangled animals.

I rubbed at my temples and let my head fall down onto the textbook in front of me. As I rested for a moment, I felt myself becoming faint. My eyes fluttered open and black dots floated around my bedroom. I cursed myself for fighting it this long. I knew that always made it worse.

All I could do was whimper as my limbs grew weaker. My eyes rolled back involuntarily and my phone clattered onto the hardwood floor. After that, everything went dark.

I woke to the sound of voices. I was laying on my side, one arm outstretched above my head while the other lay against my stomach. I pried my heavy eyelids open and the whole world tilted. My stomach churned painfully as a wave of nausea crashed over me. It felt like I’d just been hit by a semi-truck. My muscles protested as I forced myself up off the cold ground.

Wait. Cold...ground...

Shit. I was back in the forest. Why did it always have to be the forest? I couldn’t sleepwalk to one of my friends houses or something? My head was no longer pounding, so I knew I was in the place it wanted me to be. Why, though, I had no idea.

“What if he comes back?” It was Scott’s voice that drifted toward me with the wind.

Judging by the volume, he couldn’t be far.

“I have a plan for that.” Stiles responded, sounding slightly out of breath.

I wiggled my fingers as I waited for my body to regain it’s strength. It always took a minute or so after an episode.

“Which is?” Scott was gasping gently too.

Once I felt confident that I wouldn’t face plant, I used a nearby tree to help me get to my feet. I took a few slow steps forward to test myself. Satisfied that I was mostly back to normal, I headed in their direction. Goosebumps erupted on my skin as a soft breeze brushed against me. Once again, I was only wearing a t-shirt and it was freezing out here.

“You run one way, I run the other. Whoever he catches first...too bad.”

I climbed up a small hill and saw Scott and Stiles kneeling before a large hole in the ground. Two shovels lay discarded on the dirt beside them. I swallowed thickly. So, that part of my vision had already happened.

“I hate that plan!”

I didn’t want to waste anymore time. They might think I’m a psycho for sneaking up on them, but I had to find out why they were so hellbent on solving a murder case. I knew my mind wouldn’t let me rest until I figured it out. And I wanted to get home, so I needed to act fast. Within seconds I was standing on the other side of the hole they’d obviously just dug.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” I crossed my arms to maintain some of my body heat as I started shivering.

“Gah!” Stiles jumped aggressively at my voice and fell face first into the hole.

I winced and peered inside to make sure he didn’t hurt himself.

“Y/N? How-how did you find us?” Scott bolted to his feet and looked at me with wide, nervous eyes.

I was honestly surprised he knew my name. I’d been around him plenty of times with Allison, but never really talked to him directly until now.

“That’s...” I hesitated. It wasn’t like I could tell them what actually happened. “Not important. What are you doing?”

“Why are you everywhere?” Stiles popped back up like a whack-o-mole and braced his hands on the dirt edge of the hole.

“What?” I asked dumbly, my own eyes widening.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you spying on us all week.” He wagged a finger at me like a disgruntled father.

My cheeks grew hot under the accusation. I really didn’t want them to think I was some weirdo stalker. I tried to keep the rising defensiveness out of my voice. “It’s not my fault you two talk about halved bodies and animal bites in public.”

“You heard that?” Stiles dropped his hand, his eyes twitching slightly.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “It was kind of hard not to. You really think Derek killed that girl?”

Scott took a step toward me with a hand outstretched. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to intimidate me or reassure me with that gesture. Either way, he looked close to a panic attack.

“Y/N, you can’t be here. You need to go home.” His brown eyes were boring into mine, practically begging me to listen.

I frowned. I did not take orders from anyone but my mother, occasionally. I closed the distance between us with a few long strides.

“Not until I get some answers. I’d like to know if I accepted a ride from a murderer. Why are you two so interested, anyway? And talking about scents and bite marks?”

“Oh, God.” Scott instantly started spiraling. He backed away from me and shoved his hands through his hair. He was muttering something to himself that I couldn’t make out.

“Uh...guys.” Stiles’ shaky voice fluttered up from the hole he was still standing in. I moved my attention from Scott’s freak out to see what he wanted.

I looked inside and let out a loud shriek at the sight before me. One lifeless eye stared up toward the sky, attached to the upper body of a wolf. A very much dead wolf. That was cut in half. Bile rose up my throat and I gagged, staggering away from it.

Stiles pulled himself out of the hole and Scott ran to my other side.

“What the hell is that?” He yelled, still freaking out but probably because of the corpse in front of us now.

“It’s a wolf.” I deadpanned, still staring at it. I couldn’t take my eyes away from the gruesome sight.

“Yeah, we can see that.” Stiles sent a glare my way and leaned over me to look at Scott. “I thought you said you smelled blood. Like human blood.”

Did he just say...?

Scott took a deep breath to calm himself down. “I told you something was different.”

I looked back and forth between them, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

“It doesn’t make sense.” Stiles threw a hand up in frustration.

“We gotta get out of here.” Scott just shook his head and picked up one of the shovels from the ground.

“Yeah. Okay. Help me cover it up.” Stiles grabbed the other shovel and was about to stick it into the loose dirt when something caught his eye.

My heart started pounding with uncertainty. What if it was Derek coming back? If he saw us on his property and he actually was a murderer, I’m sure he wouldn’t hesitate to add three more bodies to this grave.

“What’s wrong?” I breathed, unable to wait any longer for him to tell us what he was seeing.

“You see that flower?” He pointed somewhere in front of us.

True to his word, there was a single flower sticking up from the ground a few feet away. There were a few small green leaves at its base, and light purple pedals that formed an almost perfect cylinder at the top.

“What about it?” Scott sounded annoyed that he was stalling the clean up process.

“I think it’s wolfsbane.” Stiles was still staring at the flower with wide eyes.

Wolfsbane? Like the plant from werewolf mythology? There was no way that could be a real thing.

“What’s that?” I let out a sigh of relief when Scott asked the question, glad I wasn’t the only one confused right now.

Stiles’ brows rose and his lips parted in scrutiny as he gave Scott a long look. “Haven’t you ever seen The Wolfman? Lon Chaney Jr? Claude Rains?”

He shook his head. Stiles’ eyes snapped to mine. “The original classic werewolf movie?”

“Of course I’ve seen it.” I admitted. I’d always loved old films, and I actually had to watch that one for a class at one of my old schools.

Stiles sighed and closed his eyes for a brief moment before turning his attention back to Scott. “You’re so unprepared for this.”

My mind was racing with questions. The way they were talking...it was as if something else was going on with all of this. Something other than human. I’d already heard Scott talking about smelling and hearing things he shouldn’t be able to...

Was he...?

Stiles plucked the flower from the ground, a big clump of dirt coming with it. That’s not all that emerged from the ground, though. A piece of rope was seemingly attached to the roots. He looked back at us in question and both Scott and I shrugged.

He pulled on the rope and followed along the path it was creating in the dirt. It became clear almost instantly that it had been buried all the way around the grave, in a huge spiral. Stiles continued walking until the entire length of rope was wrapped around his hands. I heard a soft gasp from beside me and watched as Scott stood to his feet slowly.

“Stiles.” He muttered, staring right into the grave with a horrified glint in his eyes.

I looked down and yelped, nearly shitting myself at the transformation that had happened. The severed upper body of a woman was now lying where the wolf had just been. Stiles joined us quickly.

“Oh, whoa.” He stumbled back at the sight.

The three of us stared down into the hole in stunned silence for a few long moments. I took a step backward to put some distance between myself and the body. This was all too much. What I just witnessed is not possible. It shouldn’t be possible. But it had happened right before my eyes. Wolves don’t just turn into people.

I wrapped my arms around myself tighter, feeling my entire body start to tremble. I didn’t know whether it was from the cold or the events of the last few minutes.

“Y/N?” Stiles suddenly called out as he noticed that I was retreating.

At this point, I wasn’t sure if either of the boys in front of me were entirely human. There had to be some kind of supernatural shit going on here, and I wanted no part of it. I just moved. I couldn’t let us be forced out of another town already.

“I—I’m gonna...I have to...” My teeth were chattering now and my words kept getting all jumbled up. 

“We can explain.” Scott went back to having a major freak out. “All of it.” 

I didn’t really want him to, to be honest. I’d seen enough to know that I didn’t want to be involved anymore. I just hoped my mind would be satisfied at this point and not force my hand again. I couldn’t help it if I just kept showing up places, but at least while conscious, I would be keeping my distance from now on. 

My shoulders tensed as I felt something heavy wrap around me. I’d been so lost in thought that I hadn’t even noticed Stiles walking toward me and offering his jacket. My muscles instantly relaxed under the comforting warmth and I sighed tiredly. Even if I wanted to get away from them, I wasn’t about to turn away a coat right now. 

And, God, it smelled good. 

I sent him a small, grateful smile and his eyes flickered around my face quickly as if checking for signs of insanity. 

“I’ll drive you home.” I sighed in relief that he’d somehow read my mind and nodded. My shaky hands pulled his jacket tighter around my torso as I followed the two of them toward a trailhead. 

I chewed on my lip nervously as I sat in the back of Stiles’ blue Jeep. He and Scott had been throwing ideas around about wolfsbane and it’s uses since we pulled out of Beacon Hills Preserve, but I hadn’t said a word. I was still trying to process everything I just saw while coming up with a plan to avoid these two for the rest of my life. 

“Maybe it’s a special skill, like something you have to learn.” My attention snapped back to the front of the car with Stiles’ words and I realized I had no idea what they were talking about. 

“I’ll put it on my to-do list. I already need to figure out how the hell I’m playing this game tonight.” Scott barked back, seeming a little breathless. I leaned forward a bit and watched as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. 

“Maybe it’s different for girl werewol...” Stiles let his last word trail off. His head jutted forward and he rolled his lips inward as he visibly cringed. 

A heavy silence filled the car. His eyes fluttered and snapped to mine in the rear view mirror. My jaw was slack as I stared right back. Did he just...was he going to...

“Stiles, finish that thought.” My voice was barely above a whisper. I tried to ignore the fluttering in my stomach as I said his name aloud for the first time. 

He hesitated, chewing on his lips in thought. He looked between Scott and I. Back and forth. I saw Scott shake his head minutely and clenched my jaw shut. If they didn’t tell me what the hell was going on soon, I couldn’t be held accountable for my irresponsible actions. Like jumping out of a moving vehicle. 

“I...I was going to say...” I started taking off his jacket as he tried to think of a believable lie. 

Yeah, I was done. The second we slowed down enough I would be removing myself from this situation and never speaking to them again. 

“Stop that!” Scott suddenly yelled and gripped his hair, so I froze with one arm free. 

“Stop what?” Stiles’ fingers tensed on the steering wheel as his head snapped to the right. 

“Talking!” He was breathing heavily now and clutching his hands into fists. I pressed my back into the seat behind me, wanting to be as far away from him as possible. 

“Are you okay?” Dumb question, Stiles. He was clearly very much not okay. 

He began hyperventilating and pulling at his seatbelt. “No! No, I’m not okay! I am so far from being okay!”

Good God. I’m going to die. 

“You know, you’re going to have to accept this, Scott. Sooner or later.” Stiles’ spoke with that parental tone again and all I could think was that this was so not the time for a lecture. 

“I can’t!” Scott’s voice was thicker now, more guttural. I pushed myself against the door to my left and gripped the handle. 

“Well you’re gonna have to!” Stiles was yelling now too, only making the situation worse. 

“No, I can’t breathe.” Scott slammed one of his hands into the roof of the Jeep with a loud groan and I yelped in surprise. I covered my mouth and froze in fear. My heart was racing in my chest. He was really freaking out, to the point of potential violence. A small car was not the place to be with someone like that.

Suddenly, jumping out seemed like a really good idea. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Stiles swerved to the left and I lost my hold on the door handle. My shoulder slammed into the plush cushion beside me and the seatbelt dug painfully into my hips. 

“Pull over.” Scott demanded, breathing heavily. He hunched over and groaned again. 

“Why? What’s happening?” Stiles was watching him carefully instead of focusing on the road. 

“Oh my God, Stiles! Just do it!” I shrieked, wanting nothing more than to get away from them both. 

Just then, Scott peered into the duffle bag resting on the center console between them and...growled? 

“You kept it?!” His voice was deeper than I had ever heard it and raw with emotion. Anger, mostly. But there were traces of anxiety and fear too. 

“What was I supposed to do with it?” Stiles’ voice cracked with panic as he continued to race on down the road. 

Scott moaned loudly. It sounded like he was in agony. He lowered his head to his chest before snapping it back up quickly. I gasped in shock and scrambled as far backward as I could at the sight of his face. Here eyes were no longer their normal brown, but now looked more like fireflies as they glowed a bright yellow. His canines elongated into pointy spikes. 

“Stop the car!” The metal cage around us shook with his intense scream. 

All I could do was stare at him with wide eyes as Stiles’ skidded to a violent stop in the middle of the road. Thankfully, no one was coming at the moment. He immediately jumped out of the driver’s seat, taking the duffle bag with him. He chucked it over a nearby hill as hard as he could, and it disappeared instantly between the trees. 

“Okay, we’re good.” He called before walking back to the car. 

I hesitantly let my eyes trail back to the passenger seat. I had no idea what I would see sitting there. Would it be Scott? Or some kind of monster?

“Oh, no...” Stiles muttered, noticing at the same time as me that he was gone. 

I tried to catch my breath as I unbuckled myself and fell out of the Jeep. At once, I was both relieved that he was gone and worried about him. The chilly night air helped shock me back into reality. That really just happened. 

“Werewolf.” I whispered, breathless. My eyes met Stiles’, which were practically bulging out of his head at my declaration. “You were going to say werewolf.” 

                                                 ------------------

I watched a cloud of condensed air gather in front of my lips as I exhaled and shoved my hands into the pockets of my coat. It was way colder than I’d expected. Part of me wished I’d taken Allison’s advice and worn a scarf. 

“What do you think she’s saying to him?” She asked from beside me, watching Lydia invade Scott’s personal space on the field. 

I had no idea, and I didn't really care. I had so many other things to worry about. Like the fact that he’s a fucking werewolf and we just discovered half of a dead body on Derek Hale’s property a couple hours ago. 

I just shook my head. “I don’t know, probably bribing him to pass to Jackson.”

After losing Scott, Stiles drove me the rest of the way home. He’d practically threatened me when informing me that I couldn’t tell a single soul what happened tonight. I caught him looking up at me from the bench and swallowed nervously. I really wanted to tell Allison. She was practically dating him, for God’s sake. She deserved to know.

I still had no idea where Scott had gone. Either way, he was here at the lacrosse team’s first game. Something in my gut told me that he shouldn’t be here. That it was a terrible idea and bad things were going to happen. 

Lydia joined us in the stands, looking smug. Allison asked her what she’d been talking to Scott about, and she played coy. I kept my eyes trained forward. I just had such a bad feeling. 

The game started out slow for Beacon Hills. We were currently behind a few points, and time was almost up. I noticed that Scott and Jackson kept ramming into each other and intentionally keeping the ball out of the other’s hands. It probably had something to do with the way Jackson had threatened Scott about his alleged drug use in the hallway.

Suddenly, Scott got good. Really good. He was catching the ball left and right, and making every goal. The stands were erupting in cheers at each successful goal he made, but I was watching him closely. He seemed agitated. He was breathing heavily and hunching over every few seconds. I glanced down at Stiles and saw that he was chewing on one of his gloves nervously. 

“That’s it, Jackson! Get fired up!” The coach yelled excitedly from the sidelines. 

“Here, help me with this.” Lydia pulled a sign out of seemingly nowhere and grabbed mine and Allison’s hands.

I stood up and peered around to see what it said. In big bubble letters it read, “We Luv U Jackson!”

As if sensing it, Scott’s head snapped in our direction. Stiles whipped around and cringed before turning back to the field. I watched Scott’s shoulders heave as he took long, labored breaths. He was about to shift, I could feel it. Any minute now, the entire school would know that he’s a werewolf.

He caught a pass and practically jumped over another players shoulders. My lips parted in surprise. That was actually kind of badass. He weaved past every player that tried getting in his way and somehow scared them enough to start passing directly to him. 

Then, he threw a ball so hard that it broke through our opponents goalie net. 

The crowd exploded with pride, but I was frozen. That is not good. There was no way a normal person would be able to do something like that. He was going to get himself caught. 

Time was running out. There were only six seconds left on the clock. Scott managed to score the winning goal and everyone, including Stiles, cheered happily. I watched as Scott threw one of his gloves off and gasped at the sight of brown claws at the tips of his fingers. The people around me started ambushing to field to celebrate. I quickly lost sight of Allison and Lydia. 

I managed to see Scott bolting toward the locker rooms through the dense crowd. Stiles seemed to notice too and went chasing after him. I wanted to help, but I knew I couldn’t just run into the boy’s locker room. I would have to trust that they could handle it. 

I turned to walk down to the field, but stopped when I caught sight of Jackson holding Scott’s discarded glove. My eyes widened as I watched him inspect it. He was paying close attention to the ends of each finger, where claws had poked through. He looked around, probably trying to find Scott. 

This is so, so not good.

Episode 2, Part One      Episode 3

[flirting-with-psychology]

[zombiebandido]

Can you recommend any Neil Gaiman to me, aside from Stardust or Good Omens? I cannot

What’s the best concert you’ve been to, if you’ve been? Idk, I think I’m just not huge on concerts

What’s the funniest screenname you’ve ever seen? i-run-with-scissors-to-feel-dangerous

Is there an animal you like that most people don’t? Don’t think so

Is there an animal that you think is overrated in terms of how it’s liked? Goats or cows, maybe

Is there a time period you think is underrated? Not really

What about music? Showtunes

Do you find yourself listening to music that’s a bit more esoteric? No

What are your three favorite books and why? Harry Potter because of the worldbuilding, Mistborn because of the worldbuilding and characters, A Confusion of Princes because it is a fun standalone book

What about authors? Idk, I mostly like specific books  Do you have any likes you wouldn’t tell someone until you got to know them? Nah probably not

Do you have a favorite language? Not really

What about a place you’ve always wanted to visit? Ireland

What’s something someone does or says that just makes you laugh? Idk, it’s usually situational

Do goldfish crackers ever make you sick, or is that just me? No?

Do you have a favorite art style? Probably realistic

Do you have a favorite myth/fairy-tale? No, sorry I’m being boring with this quiz

Who is your favorite person aside from family? Probably my bff

Do any of your pets (if you have them) have weird quirks? My cat was just very emphatic

Do you listen to music from anywhere besides America? Not really

Have you ever “quit” a site and came back to it more than once? No

Do you have an “odd” fascination with anything? Dice

What is the thing you want most at this moment? An interesting job and a return to normal from the pandemic

What was the last book you read and what was it about? I’m currently reading The Martian about an astronaut stranded on mars

What was the worst book you’ve ever read & why? Walk Two Moons because the twist ending fucked me up

Do you have a favorite breed of dog or cat? Which? Golden retrievers

If you like any anime/manga, what are some titles you recommend? I don’t really like it

What do you think about school in general? I thought it was interesting and I wish I could go back

What’s the hardest thing you’ve been through, & what did you learn from it? Maybe the braces. Dk what I learned from it

What are three “unrealistic” things you want most? An interesting creative job with steady and high pay lol, the lottery, the good place experience from The Good Place

What are some of your favorite foods? Pasta, chocolate, cereal. I am a simple girl

Where do you like to buy your clothes? Kohl’s, Macy’s, and thrift shops

Do you take any daily vitamins? When I remember

Who are three of your favorite fictional characters of all time? Kelsier from Mistborn, Sirius Black from Harry Potter, Raydan Lykel from The Crown and the Flame

If you had to give the world a pre-existing mythological/fictional being, what would it be? Idfk

When buying Slurpees, if you do, do you get only one flavor or mix them? Mixing is fun

Do you have a favorite 7Eleven food? No

Do you have any desire to learn (a) foreign language(s)? Which? Not strongly

If you could have any career, “realistic”-ness aside, what would it be? Something in film maybe

What are three memorable movies from your childhood? The Little Mermaid, Harry Potter, Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper

Do you, personally, put a space after ellipses, or not? Let me check... do I? I guess I do

What do some of the things that inspire you have in common? Making things

Micky D’s sweet tea, y/n/other? No

What are three of your best (non-physical) qualities? Creativity, honesty, smarts

What are three of your worst (again; non-physical) qualities? Stubbornness, anxiety, lack of empathy

What is one of your firmest beliefs? I don’t really have firm beliefs

Do you ever question things until you’re unsure of even the silliest thing? Yes

Do you have anything that keeps you from doing something you’d truly enjoy? Anxiety and procrastination, and money

What are your three biggest pet peeves (personality-wise) in others? Holier-than-thou people, acting like you’re too cool for fun, being unsafe

Do you work to fix your faults? Or at least, admit to them? I admit to most of them but I’m not so great at working on them

What are three of your best physical qualities? (NOT EYES!) Why not eyes? Other than that, I guess hair color, boobs, singing voice (at least I’d like to think so)

What are some of your greatest aspirations? Do something fun, have a good social life, see what I would look like in my prime

How do you hope the world will change, if at all? Get done with the pandemic, stop having capitalism be so shitty

Who are three (fairly known) people you find very intriguing? Taylor Swift, Voldemort, F. Scott Fitzgerald

What are three things that make you the happiest? hanging out with friends, crafts, cuddling with my boyfriend

What is/are your view(s) on god, religion, spirituality, or relations to? I don’t believe in them

Are you arachnophobic or scared of spiders in the least? YES

Do you play WoW? What do you think of it either way? No, I am just not that into video games

What kind of computer do you have? Windows 7/Vista/XP/Other? Macbook Pro

What are you good at? Crafts and school

What career do you hope to have? Something creative

Are you taking any interesting classes in school/do you not attend? I’m finished with school but I wish I could go back

If you don’t attend, are you taking any “lessons” for anything? No

A book/piece that has had an exceptional impact on your life? Harry Potter

If you know of pandora.com, what is your favorite station? I haven’t listened to pandora in ages

Have you ever “lost” a friend in any way? How did you deal? Some just faded away but some actively ditched me and I tried to find out why

Any music recommendations? Showtunes

What are at least three of your biggest fears? Spiders, living a mundane life, covid right now

Most recently read book that you liked? A Confusion of Princes

Do you have a piece of jewelry you don’t like to take off? No, I have so many that I like to alternate them

Do you have a favorite quote? Why is it your favorite? Carpe Diem. Haven’t lived it much lately though Any odd pastimes you have? Making lists and charts

Are you quirky in any way? (Name them please). My fashion sense especially in high school, the nerdy things I do

Have any practices you aren’t opposed to but wouldn’t do yourself? Probably a lot, I’m generally of the live and let live mindset

Political standing?

Left

Do you have any piercings/what do you think about piercings? I just have my ears pierced

Do you have a favorite material? I’m a fan of soft materials like suede or velvet, also metals like copper and silver

What are three names you’d name a pet if you HAD to get a pet right now? It depends on the pet

Do you like to listen to dorky/amusing music? Idk

Coffee vs. Tea vs. Energy Drinks: Order from favorite to least favorite. Tea, energy drinks, coffee

Do you like more “fruity” sweets or “savory” sweets? Fruity unless it’s chocolate

What do you hate the most? Spiders

What genres of music are your favorite? Showtunes

Do you believe in true love? Idk

Do you believe in love at first sight? If yes, why? No

What are some of your favorite clothing accessories? Jewelry

If reincarnation exists, what sort of person would you want to be next?

One of those outgoing guys that always has adventures with his friends What are some things you believe strongly in? Idk

Where’s your favorite place you’ve been? London was pretty cool, also Italy

What sort of books and movies do you like? For books: sci-fi, fantasy, dystopia. For movies: rom-com, sci-fi, musical

What’s your favorite thing to do on a rainy Saturday? Idk, just stay in

Is there a book you’ve read that really touched you? The Great Gatsby just because I related to Gatsby a lot

Do you have a favorite artist? Taylor Swift

PC or MAC? Mac

What do you love doing? Crafts, shopping, board games

If you could create the perfect world for yourself, what would it be? Basically just the good place from The Good Place. Unlimited time and resources to learn and try things without pressure to make money off it

Do you think that fate plays a part in people’s lives? Not really

Are you religious, spiritual, atheist…? Atheist

What are your opinions on the media? The media is a very broad range of things

Do you think that people throw the words “love” and “hate” around too much? Idk

What is your favorite piece of technology that you own? My laptop

What’s a piece of technology you’d like to own? I have what I want at the moment.

Are you afraid of technology developing to where we’re too reliant on it? A little bit of getting to the point where a lot of jobs get replaced with AI, because instead of making lives easier like they could be, there will just be a huge unempolyment problem that our stupid capitalist society won’t solve

Does it bother you when people do things to fit in with a certain crowd? If it’s not what they want to do

Hot or cold? Cold Do you think that Bzoink should extent the character amount for questions? I don’t use Bzoink

Do you have a favorite combination of complimentary colors? Maybe green and pink

Do you know why all the young people who have nice cars always look grumpy? I don’t think I’ve noticed that

What’s your favorite odd ice cream flavor? Lemon Sorbet or Coffee Toffee Bar Crunch

Where do you like to get your ice cream? Haagen Dasz or Ben and Jerry’s

What’s your opinion on stereotypes/labels? Idk

Do you ever use random word generators for Bzoinkoids?

What?

Do you believe that history repeats itself? It sure seems like it is

Would you rather learn from your mistakes or just undo them? Learn from them

What was the most interesting class you had in school? My words and music class in college Do you write? If so, what? I used to write poetry, I sometimes come up with stories but I don’t really write them

Do you have a favorite website? Tumblr and Etsy

Do you think that the quality of TV shows is going down? No, there are usually good ones to discover

Do you have a favorite culture? Maybe Celtic. I just like the art patterns What was a story you heard as a child that really affected you? The Headless Horseman scared me a lot

Who was your favorite grade-school teacher and why? My third grade teacher and my 6th grade math teacher

Do you think that the world will end? How? Probably in a few billion years when the sun turns into a red giant

Do you believe in Global Warming? Have you researched it? Yes but I haven’t researched it

Do you prefer piercings or tattoos? Tattoos

Do you remember your dreams? Sometimes

[marvelficrec]

HANNIBAL!!!!! I HAVE MASSIVE LOVE FOR THAT SHOW!!!! Hehehe may I know what's your fave hannigram fics so far??

!!! I have been obsessively reading Hannigram fics!!!! I recced A LOT so it is under the cut! Sorry for the non-marvel but!!!

The Torment of Tantalus - 9k

Set in Cuba after the fall. Hannibal isn’t touching Will. Will wants to know why, but is afraid to ask.

Sexual and emotional tension and resolution; a comedy of errors told by the ocean and classical mythology.

"Everyone always spoke of the torment of Tantalus; no one ever stopped to consider what it was like for the tree."

Held in the Highest Regard - 12k

What happens when a group of serial killers pick the absolute worst targets? Will is already having a pretty rough night, since Hannibal proposed to him and Will said 'No' for reasons he still hasn't quite figured out yet. It's not their fault - they couldn't have known - but sometimes people have to learn lessons the hard way, and Will could definitely use some stress relief.

To Build Thy Kingdom, and Tear Me Down - 10k

Hannibal tilts his head, and a deep scowl begins to furrow his features, “Will, where are you going?”

There is a soft smile gracing Will’s lips as he speaks, and he opens the door just as gently, “I am taking my permanent leave now that my services to you are no longer required.”

come around again (only want to say goodbye) - 8k

Hannibal is locked up in the Baltimore Asylum for the Criminally Insane. Supposedly he's in maximum security but he pretty much just breaks out and leaves any time it suits him.

And it suits him to break out whenever he thinks Will needs him.

I mean, they forgot Will's birthday! Come on, wouldn't you?

The Fault in My Code - 90k 

Will Graham avoids eyes. He's never wanted a soulmate, never wanted to be told by the universe who he was supposed to feel a connection to. He already struggles enough with connections, thank you very much. As a psychiatrist, he works with soulmates who have lost their other half through various means, part of a social system that regards the journey to your soulmate as the most important thing a person can do. Coerced by Jack Crawford to consult on a case where the assailant is targeting soulmates, Will finds himself turning to the notorious Dr. Lecter to gain insight on how he's choosing the soulmates to target.

Things go horribly awry when he looks into Hannibal's eyes, though. The next morning, he wakes up with one eye blue, the other maroon. He's never wanted a soulmate, least of all one behind bars for murdering dozens of people and eating them. Hannibal thinks it's delightful -it's been dreadfully boring since he was locked up.

Romance, thriller, mayhem, mystery, soulmate au with a realistic twist, and a grumpy Will Graham

Consenting to Dream - 32k

A seduction through physical objects. It starts with a scarf loaned to Will on a cold day, but Hannibal, as usual, isn't satisfied with anything small.

How To Save A Life (The Cannibal-Friendly Handbook) - 3k

There’s a man looking up at Will, who has clearly been distracted from - Oh. Throwing limbs into the river. Human limbs. Lovely, he thinks sarcastically. Then he thinks it again because it actually is kind of lovely. The man looks confident. At ease with what he is. He’s kinda hot, too.

Or: Will tries to jump off a bridge but ends up offering himself up to a cannibalistic serial killer...as you do.

les bois du cerf - 24k 

Will was different, that was obvious. He dreamed of killers, darkness and flames devouring feathers - things that no normal person would ever think of. But he wasn't normal.

And neither was his soul-mark.

Philia - 74k

Getting into Jack Crawford's Forensic Psychology class was a dream come true for Will Graham, until he learns that his final assignment is to attend twelve interviews with the notorious serial killer, Hannibal the Cannibal, in order to unravel his mysterious past.

Even as he grows closer to the truth, he also grows closer to Dr. Lecter, and the doctor is very eager to get to know this young man who thinks like a murderer.

Blind Justice - 2k 

What Hannibal doesn't realize is that Will already knows and has known for quite a while now. Unfortunately, he's a bit too preoccupied with killing people; the ones Will not-so-subtly points out to him.

Dread and Hunger - 71k

AU in which Will receives a secret admirer with a penchant for writing him poetry and slaughtering the innocent in artistic fashions. No one ever told him that courtship was so bloody or appealing -rather, so bloody appealing? He's a part-time bartender that can't catch a break, but at least he has one loyal customer who doesn't seem to mind bouncing from restaurant to bar to restaurant in order to have his favorite drink made by his favorite person.

There couldn't be a correlation though; Dr. Lecter is an upstanding psychiatrist that just likes his drinks served a certain way, and the Chesapeake Ripper keeps sending love letters in the hopes of one day eating him. One is, quite frankly, flattering, the other...

Will isn't stupid enough to tell anyone that it's also equally flattering, albeit horrifying at the same time. It's up for interpretation.

Right?

[fandomrewrites]

Season 1, Episode 6: Heart Monitor

Hello readers! This chapter is about half way through the first season. This chapter has some really great Stiles x Reader moments. This is also the longest chapter so far! I hope you all enjoy and as always constructive criticism is appreciated.

Season 1, Episode 6: Heart Monitor

Pairings: Scott McCall x Twin Sister, Lydia Martin x Best Friend, Nate Wilson (OC) x Reader

Warnings: Some violence and mention of death

Word Count: 3,994

Season 1 Masterlist

Scott and I were just finishing up the grocery shopping. We both had our hands full as we were walking through the parking garage trying to remember where we parked. “Click the alarm, it will be faster than walking in circles.”

Scott nods then gently puts the bags on the ground pulling out the keys and setting the car alarm off. While listening for the beep, a bottle of milk rolled out of one of the bags, moving under a car.

Scott sighs then kneels to grab the milk, feeling blindly under the car. Before he finds anything, the bottle rolls back as milk spurts on the pavement from punctured holes in its side.

The bottle slowly stops as Scott gets off the ground and makes eye contact with me. “RUN”

I drop the bags and run, Scott and I moving in different directions. I am so happy I didn’t wear heels... After a couple of minutes of running I pause behind a parked SUV. I look through the windows trying to see if it’s following me, or it I can find Scott.

I can feel my heart pounding but can’t see or hear anything else. I slowly lean around the car and quietly move around the parking garage keeping a lookout for anything dangerous. 

I then start hearing the sound of multiple car alarms. I take off running again, trying to find Scott. I know he has to be close to the cars but far enough away where he won’t be found.

As I run in the direction of the cars, I can just make out the sound of a cell phone ringing. I turn the corner just in time to see Derek reach down and pull my brother out of his hiding spot.

I take a deep breath as I throw my head back and slowly walk over to them. As I approach, Scott is brushing Derek’s hands off of his jacket, “What the hell was that?” Scott is angry.

“Yeah, I would kinds like to know that too,” Both boys turn to me.

Then Derek answers, “I said I was going to teach you. I didn’t say when.”

“You scared the crap out of us!” Scott exclaims.

Derek sniffs the air, “Not yet,” he deadpans.

I try to hide a smile, “Was that a joke?”

They both ignore me as Scott continues, “Well, I was fast, right?”

“Not fast enough.”

“But the car alarms. That was smart, right?”

“Until your phone rang.”

“Look on the bright side, your phone ringing distracted him from me.” I brightly smile.

Scott sighs, “Would you just stop? Please?”

Derek pauses and turns to face my brother, waiting for him to speak. “What happened the other night... Stiles’s dad getting hurt. It was my fault. I should have been there to do something. I need you to teach me how to control this.”

“I’m what I am because of birth. You were bitten. Teaching someone who was bitten takes time. I’m not even sure I can teach you.”

Scott takes a breath, “What do I have to do?”

“Get rid of distraction,” Derek grabs Scott, pulling out his phone and turns it around to show the display that says there is a missed call from Allison. “This is why I caught you. You want me to teach you? Get rid of her.”

Scott looks shocked and angry, “What? Just because of her family?”

Derek throws the phone, breaking it. My jaw drops as I look on in shock. “Getting angry? That’s your first lesson. Do you want to learn how to control this? How to shift? You do it through anger. By tapping into a primal, animal rage. You can’t do that with her around.”

Scott has his teeth clenched as he speaks, “I can get angry.”

“Not angry enough. This is the only way I can teach you. Can you stay away from her at least until after the full moon?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

Derek interrupts him, “Do you want to live? Do you want to protect your friends,” He glances at me, “Your family? Yes or no?”

“Yes. If you can teach me, I can stay away from her.”

I nod, “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

*_*_*_*_*_*

I was in my room texting Nate when I heard Scot’s door slam shut and not even a minute later he screamed. I quickly stood up and rushed through our bathroom and into his room just in time to hear him tell Derek, “You seriously need to stop doing that.”

“What happened? Did he talk to you?”

“Woah what? The Alpha? How do you know it’s a guy?”

They both ignored me, only sparing me a quick glance. I rolled my eyes, though I should be used to being ignored by now. “Yeah, we had a nice conversation about the weather.”

I move out of the bathroom door to sit on Scott’s bed as he continues, “No. He didn’t talk.”

“Did you get anything off of him? An impression?”

“What do you mean?”

“Pretty sure he’s talking about your other senses. I mean they are heightened no, use them to your advantage.” I state.

Derek nods, “Communication doesn’t have to be spoken. What kind of feeling did you get from him?”

Scott pauses to think, “Anger.”

“Focused on you?”

“Not me. But definitely anger. I could feel it. Especially when he drew the spiral.”

“He drew a spiral?” I questioned, knitting my eyebrows together.

I looked at Derek to read his reaction as Scott spoke, “Yeah. In the condensation. What You have this look like you know what it means.”

“It’s nothing.” Derek brushes off.

Derek goes to open the door but I scoff, “That faces says otherwise. You know, you can’t ask us to trust you ad then just keep things to yourself. Trust is a two-way street.”

Derek is adamant, “It doesn’t mean anything.”

Scott prompts, “You buried your sister under a spiral. What does it mean?”

Derek hesitates, thinking about telling us then answers, “You don’t want to know.” He then leaves the room as Scott and I glance at each other. I slowly stand up then head back to my room.

*_*_*_*_*_*

I was at lunch talking with Allison and Lydia. Allison was telling us about her history project and The Beast of Gevaudan. “The what of who?” Lydia questions, clearly confused.

“The Beast of Gevaudan. Listen...” Allison then flips through the pages of one her books and reads,

“A quadrupled wolf-like monster prowling the Auvergne and South Dordogne areas of France during the years 1764 to 1767. La Bete killed over 100 people, becoming so infamous that the king, Louis XV, sent one of his best hunter to try to kill it.”

“Boring.” Lydia states.

“I think it’s kinds interesting, but it is obviously fiction. I mean c’mon. A wolf-like monster.”

Allison continues reading, “Even the Church eventually declared the monster a messenger of Satan.”

“Still boring,” Lydia pipes up.

“Cryptozoologists believe it may have been a sub-species of a hoofed predator, possibly Mesonychid,”

“Slipping into a coma bored,” I gently elbow Lydia and she purses her lips in response.

“While others believe it was a powerful sorcerer who could shapeshift into a man-eating monster.”

“Any of this have anything to do with your family?” Lydia asks.

“Yeah, I’m confused too. Didn’t you say this was for your history class?”

Allison smiles then continues to read, “It is believed La Bete was finally trapped and killed by a renowned hunter who claimed his wife and four children were the first to fall prey to the creature. The hunter’s name was Argent.”

Lydia speaks, unimpressed, “Your ancestors killed a big wolf. So what?”

“Not just a big wolf. Look at this picture. What’s it look like to you?”

Allison flips the page, revealing a drawing of the monster to Lydia and me. The beast stands on two legs, enshrouded in mist, with red eyes and sharp claws. The bodies of women and children lie at its feet, looks of pure terror are etched on their faces.

As we study the picture Lydia finally answers Allison’s question, “It looks. Like a big. Wolf. See you in History.” She then gets up and walks away without another word.

Allison looks at me, “Do you think it looks like just a big wolf?”

I glance at the picture and sigh, “It looks like a classic werewolf. But Allison, it was obviously just a big wolf, or something similar. I mean these mythological creatures come from our history. Take mermaids, for example, they are really just manatees and dugongs. It’s how they got their scientific name Sirenia.”

Allison nods, “Yeah, I know. But it’s still cool to think that my family had a part in a classic myth like this.”

She then goes back to reading her book as I stand to throw away my unwanted food.

*_*_*_*_*_*

As I was making my way to the library I heard my name get called out. I stopped and looked over my shoulder to see Nate jogging to catch up with me. I smile, “Hey, sorry I haven’t been able to spend more time with you. Scott’s been going through some stuff and I’ve been helping him.”

“Really? Is it just Scott?”

“Well, Lydia too. With that whole thing with her and Jackson. I’ve been wanting to make sure she was okay.”

“So just Scott and Lydia?”

“Um, yeah?” I raise my eyebrow, “Why? Should there be something else?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.” Nate sounds accusing like I did something wrong.

I stop to think about what I have done in the last few days to see if there is a reason why he would be angry at me, “I’m not following... Did I do something wrong?”

“Well, I’ve seen you with a guy that I don’t know, twice here at school.” I knot my eyebrows together unsure who he’s talking about. “I think he’s older. The first time I saw you two together you were both getting into Stiles’ jeep. The second time he was talking to you buy your locker.”

I sigh in realization, “That’s nothing, he’s Stiles’ cousin. I’ve only seen him a few times, always with other people. Except for that time in the hallway. Wait, are you accusing me of cheating?”

“Well, what did you expect? You’re hanging around a guy that I don’t know and you’re not telling me about it. On top of that, you’re being secretive. We haven’t hung out in days.”

I scoff, “What do I expect? I expect you to trust me! I know I’ve been M.I.A. the past few days but I just explained why to you. I didn’t tell you about Stiles’ cousin because he’s not important. Don’t you dare accuse me of cheating! I would never do that, the thought wouldn’t even cross my mind.”

I turn to walk away but before I make it far Nate’s hand is tugging on my wrist, “Babe, I’m sor--”

I cut him off, “Don’t. I don’t want to even look at you right now.” I yank my hand out of his grasp. After a few steps, I turn back around, “And an ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t going to cut it. For you to even think I would do that...” I trail off as I shake my head then continue down the hall.

*_*_*_*_*_*

I walk into econ and head to my usual seat beside Stiles. As the other students enter the room coach starts talking, “Sit down. Sit, sit, sit. Lots to cover.”

As Scott sits in his usual seat and watches as Stiles goes to sit in between us he speaks up, “No Stiles. Take the seat behind me. Stiles,”

He gets cut off as Allison takes the empty seat behind him. She then leans over to talk to Scott, “Hey, I haven’t seen you all day.”

“Oh, sorry? I’ve been super busy.”

They continue talking for a little bit as Stiles leans over to tell me about their test with coaches heart monitor during their free period. Coach then smacks a book on his desk to get the classes attention. My head snaps to the front of the room as the coach begins.

“All right, settle down. Let’s start with a quick summary of last night’s reading. Greenberg, put your hand down. Everybody knows you did the reading. How about...” His eyes search the room and land on my brother, “McCall.”

I quickly ask, “Which one?” knowing that Scott didn’t do the reading. Coach glances at me almost like he forgot I was in this class.

“Uh, Scott. Summarize last night’s reading.”

Scott hesitates, “I forgot.” He looks uncomfortable.

“Okay, then. Nice work. Because it’s not like you’re averaging a D in this class. You do know that I can’t keep you on them with a D, McCall?”

He waits for Scott to say something as a few students giggle. I turn in my seat throwing a glare over my shoulder at the students.

Coach continues when there is no answer, “How about you summarize the previous night’s reading? No? How about the night before? How about you summarize anything you’ve ever read? In your entire life.”

Scott is getting flustered, I look towards Stiles who has coach’s phone out, tracking Scott’s heart rate. It’s continuing to rise and my only thought is that this is not going to end well.

“Anything at all. A blog? The back of a cereal box? The adults-only warning on your favorite website.” When he still gets no answer the coach continues in disappointment, “Thank you, McCall. Thank you for extinguishing every last flicker of hope I have for your generation. Next practice you start with suicide runs.”

The class laughs as Stiles and I keep our eyes locked on the phone. Quickly, Scott’s heart rate starts dropping back to normal. Stiles and I glance at each other then look towards Scott to see Allison holding his hand under the desk.

*_*_*_*_*_*

After class, Stiles and I quickly rush after Scott. When we catch up Stiles speaks, “It’s her.”

“What do you mean?”

I explain for Stiles, “It’s Allison. Do you remember what you told us about the night of the full moon? You were think about her. About protecting her.”

Scott nods along, still unsure of what we are trying to say.

Stiles continues where I left off, “So remember the lacrosse game? You said you could hear her voice out on the field.”

“Yeah. I did.” He nods again.

I take over, explaining, “That’s what brought you back so you could score. And then in the locker room, you didn’t kill her. At least not like you were trying to kill Stiles that one time. She brings you back.”

Scott pauses as he thinks, “But it’s not always true. Because literally every time I’m kissing her or touching her,”

Stiles cuts him off, “That’s not the same. When you’re doing that you’re just another hormonal teenager thinking about sex. See, you’re thinking about sex right now. Aren’t you?”

I instantly start shaking my head and rolling my eyes at Scott’s dazed expression. He snaps back into reality and apologizes as Stiles continues, “Now when she was holding your hand in class, it was different. I don’t think she makes you weak...”

I finish, “We think she actually gives you control. Think of her as an anchor.”

Scott nods in understanding, “You mean because I love her.”

My eyes slightly widen at his words. Scott himself looks surprised that he said it out loud. “Did I just say that?”

“You just said that,” I confirm.

“I love her.”

I smile along with Scott though Stiles ruins the moment, “That’s great. Moving on,” before he can continue Scott speaks up again.

“No, I do. I really do. I think I’m totally in love with her.”

“And that’s beautiful. Before you go off and write a sonnet can we figure this out? Because you obviously can’t be around her all the time.”

Finally, Scott focuses, “Okay, what do I do?”

Stiles starts pacing as he thinks, “You’re getting an idea, aren’t you?” I ask.

“Yeah.”

“Could this idea get me in trouble?” Scott asks.

“Maybe.”

“Is this idea going to cause me physical pain?”

“Definitely.”

I bite my lip already hating this idea, even though I don’t actually know what it is. Scott and I follow Stiles outside to the parking lot. Nearby is a group of seniors, laughing and smoking by their trucks.

Stiles pulls Scott to a certain spot, “Over here.”

“What are we doing?” I question, my voice laced with concern.

“You’ll see. Stand right here, Scott. Do you have your keys?” Scott takes out his keys, showing Stiles, “Hold them up. Now, whatever happens I want you to think about Allison. Find her voice like you did at the game? Got it?”

Scott nods as I realize what Stiles’ plan is. I take a deep breath and let my head fall into my hands. Stiles continues speaking, “Good. Keep holding the keys.”

Stiles then walks over to the senior’s truck, takes out his own keys and drags them along the truck, effectively scratching the paint. Once he finishes and puts his keys away he loudly yells at Scott, “Dude. What do you think you’re doing to that truck?”

The seniors turn around to see Scott holding his keys. Scott steps back and tries to hide his keys but fails miserably as the seniors start to make their way over to him. They quickly start beating him up as my hand flies to my mouth and Stiles and I watch the heart monitor.

Not too much later and Mr. Harris comes around the corner breaking up the fight. The seniors take off leaving Stiles and I looking at the heart monitor and Scott bloody and on the ground.

Scott sits up and turns to Stiles and myself as Stiles shows him the phone. Displayed on the screen is a normal, steady heartbeat.

*_*_*_*_*_*

Scott, Stiles and I sit in the empty Chemistry classroom as Mr. Harris grades papers. I can’t believe I got detention. I didn’t even do anything. I was just standing there!

Scott speaks, breaking the silence, “Excuse me, sir. I know it’s detention and all, but I’m supposed to be at work. And I don’t want to get fired.”

Harris, of course, ignores him, not caring that he has work.

Scott then leans over to Stiles, talking about what happened. I choose not to listen and instead continue to draw in my notebook and think about the fight I had with Nate earlier. I still can’t believe he thought I would cheat on him. I’m so angry and hurt, he better come up with a damn good apology.

After a few more minutes of silence, Harris finally speaks up, “All right, you three can go. Out of here.”

We quickly grab our things and head out of the building.

*_*_*_*_*_*

I was with Stiles at his place working on homework. I was laying on his bed while he was working at his desk, I was telling him about my argument with Nate, “Do you think it’s stupid, that I’m angry with him?”

“Not at all, I would be angry too if someone accused me of cheating.”

I nodded my head and bit my lip, unconvinced that I had a reason to be mad. “I feel stupid for being mad at him. I mean, I’m pissed that he jumped to conclusions but I also understand feeling jealous.”

“(Y/N/N),” Stiles sighed. He stood up and walked towards his bed sitting beside me, he slowly placed his hand on my shoulder, “You have the right to be angry that he accused you of cheating. That’s more than just being jealous. And anyone who knows you knows that you would never do that. Your feelings are valid.”

I slowly smiled then sat up pulling Stiles into a tight hug. His arms wrapped around my waist as I whispered, “Thanks, you always know what to say.”

Before he could say anything back his bedroom door burst open and the two of us sprung apart.

“Sorry... Am I interrupting something?” Scott asks looking between us.

“Uh no. What do you need?” Stiles gulps, rubbing his hands on his jeans.

*_*_*_*_*_*

As the three of us arrive at the school and get out of the jeep Stiles speaks, “This is a terrible idea.”

“Couldn’t agree more...” I mumble.

“Are we seriously going to do this?”

“Can either of you think of something better?” Scott asks with just a small glimmer of hope in his brown eyes.

“Personally, I’m a big fan of ignoring a problem and hoping it goes away,” Stiles replies as I just shake my head.

“Just make sure we can get inside.”

Stiles then yanks out a pair of bolt cutters just as a pair of headlights approach. Derek’s Camaro parks in a nearby space, he kills the engine and steps out from behind the wheel. As the three of approach him Scott asks, “Where’s my boss?”

“In the back.” Derek walks over pulling the door open allowing us to look inside. Deaton is bound, gagged, and blindfolded. “Comfy.” I deadpan and put my hands on my hips.

I turn to look at Scott and Stiles, “I’m going to wait out here, the school is creepy at night.”

As the two brunettes make their way over to the dark, empty school Derek turns to me, “Where are they going?”

I sigh, “You said that Scott is linked with the Alpha. He wants to see if you’re right.” I pause, “You’ll understand in a minute.” 

As Derek and I wait outside, standing by his car we hear a very pathetic attempt at a howl ringing over the PA system. Derek slowly moves his eyes away from Deaton and locks them on the school, “You gotta be kidding me...”

A few minutes later a powerful howl blasts through the PA system, my jaw drops, impressed that he could actually do it. Derek looks impressed but definitely not happy.

He turns to look at me with a clenched jaw as I raise my hands, “Don’t look at me.”

The moment Scott and Stiles step out of the school Derek speaks, “I’m going to kill the two of you myself. Are you trying to attract the entire state to this school?”

“I didn’t know it would be that loud.” Scott tries to defend.

“It was loud. And it was awesome.” Stiles says, clearly happy with the howl.

“I said it was a bad idea but nobody ever listens to (Y/N),” I cross my arms, looking towards the three guys standing in front of me.

Scott’s eyes linger on Derek’s car. Derek and I follow his eyes and see that Deaton is now missing, “What did you do with him?”

“We didn’t do anything,” Derek replies.

He doesn’t get the chance to continue because the next moment he jerks forward. Blood spurts from his mouth as he rises into the air, held aloft by something dark and large.

I am frozen in place looking to my right. Stiles then pulls my hand as we all stumble away from Derek and the Alpha. We watch in horror as Derek’s body is thrown and slams into the brick wall of the school.

Tripping over our feet we race to the school. The two boys let me in before them, then they quickly yank the double doors shut. Holding them closed, we try to catch our breath as a shadow with glowing red eyes emerged from where we were just standing.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #342

“in this farewell, there’s no blood, there’s no alibi  /  ‘cuz i’ve drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies”

What’s your all-time favourite cartoon? Does anime count? In which case I'd say Fullmetal Alchemist, or the original Pokemon. If we're not including anime, then uhhhh Avatar: The Last Airbender, even though I have much more to go in the series. Have you ever taken dance lessons? What kind? Yeah, I've done a few for many years: jazz, clogging, modern, and hip hop. When did you last run and why? I literally couldn't tell you. I don't even know if I can run with the current state of my legs. My knees would probably crumple. Does your house/flat/whatever the hell you live in need cleaning? Not necessarily cleaning, but sorting. I still have boxes outside and inside my room of my stuff I need to put up somewhere... but whenever I prepare to do it, I just get so overwhelmed and shy away from it. Then there's the spare room, that's a total mess loaded with boxes and the like. Mom and I have just avoided it like the plague. Was your last relationship with a man or a woman? Woman. What do you think your next achievement will be? HOPEFULLY getting a job... Do you like mushrooms? NOOOOOOO. What dream do you remember most vividly? I'm not talking about it. Favorite kind of bread? Pumpernickel. Rabbits or hamsters? Rabbits. I've never met a nice hamster, and I just think rabbits are cuter. A movie you’ve never seen that it seems like every one else has? Harry Potter films. Favorite dog breed? I'm biased towards beagles. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, actually. Where I live, there aren't really many weighty trees with low branches. Just pine trees. Most common lie you tell? That I'm "fine" when I'm not. Ever seen your parents make out? Jc no, I'll take a hard pass there. Do you put your hair up a lot or down? It's too short to put up. Most of the time do you straighten or curl your hair? Neither. What piercing do you hate? I'm not a fan of cheek dermals at all, but you do you 100%. Were you raised in a religious house? Yes; I was raised Roman Catholic. Do your parents get mad when you're on the computer for hours? Mom used to for many years until I became an adult and she just realized it was in vain. I haven't lived with Dad since I was a teenager, but when my parents were together, he usually didn't say anything. Have you ever been asked for a nude picture? No, thankfully. I'd stop talking to the person immediately. What would you do if your parent hit you? I honestly feel like I'd slap them back and get the fuck out. Or just freeze in shock and cry. What's your most common mood? Stressed but distracted. Do you like poems? Yeah, usually. Ever kissed someone half-naked? Uh yeah. Have you ever been in a parade? No. Do you still play Pokémon? I play Pokemon GO, and I've actually been tempted to get out my DS and play one of the games I have (I can't remember which). I do find Pokemon games to be VERY grind-ey, though, so I can't play them for too long without getting bored. What is your favorite Pokémon? Ninetales. I also really love Espeon, though, and Charmander will always have my heart. Is there an animal you like that most people don't? Bats! :') Is there an animal that you think is overrated in terms of how it's liked? No animal is overrated. Have you ever "quit" a site and came back to it more than once? Uhhhh I don't think so. Do you have an "odd" fascination with anything? Most would probably consider "vulture culture" to be pretty weird, being drawn to dead animals and all... What's the hardest thing you've been through, & what did you learn from it? The breakup with Jason. I learned that some people make promises they aren't afraid to break, that someone can promise "forever" and not mean it, that the most unexpected can just snap their fingers and forget about you... I learned a lot. And most things, not positive. What are three "unrealistic" things you want most? 1.) To be able to financially support myself by just freelance nature photography; 2.) sooo many different kinds of pets; and 3.) to be totally rid of my mental illnesses. Do you take any daily vitamins? No, but I would if I was the one who bought groceries and stuff. I do however take Vitamin D once a week for my legs. Who are three of your favorite fictional characters of all time? JUST THREE??????? FUCK MAN idk. Uhhh well there's of course Darkiplier and Wilford Warfstache, then uhhh probably Pyramid Head. If you had to give the world a pre-existing mythological/fictional being, what would it be? Idk, I'd really need to be more educated on their lore before I made that decision. Do you have any desire to learn (a) foreign language(s)? Which? I both do and don't want to resume learning German. I got very good at it and could have basic conversations, but lack of application has slaughtered my vocabulary. Now it's like, it'd be nice to try again, but for what purpose? I don't think I'll ever actually apply it to my life, so it just seems like it'd be a load of wasted effort. But then on the other hand, I also feel that doing something you simply want to do isn't a waste of time. Idk. What is one of your firmest beliefs? Equality for all. No race, religion, whatthefuckever makes you more or less valuable than someone else. Do you have anything that keeps you from doing something you'd truly enjoy? Oh yes. Depression and anxiety, mostly. Do you work to fix your faults? Or at least, admit to them? I definitely try, and I'll certainly admit to them. How do you hope the world will change, if at all? I just want more compassion, less violence, more understanding... What is/are your view(s) on god, religion, spirituality, or relations to? In short, I believe that something sentient created the universe, and it/they/he/she/what-have-you just... let life play out from there, I think. I like to believe there's a plane of consciousness like an afterlife that exists, but if not, I don't really care. I hope the evil get what was coming to them, and the good get back what they gave, but maybe we're all better off without life after death. We'll all find out one day. Are you arachnophobic or scared of spiders in the least? Some, yes; others, not so much. This is very situational. Do you play WoW? What do you think of it either way? Haha, you're asking an avid player. I enjoy it, but not as much as I used to. At one point I was a Heroic raider, sometimes dabbling in Mythic, but now I'm just mostly a casual mount collector that likes chatting with my guildies and just doing dailies 'n shit. I owe a lot to the game, honestly; it helped me stay occupied throughout the breakup, and still today gives me something to do. What kind of computer do you have? Windows 7/Vista/XP/Other? I have an Acer Nitro with Windows 10. Are you taking any interesting classes in school/do you not attend? I'm no longer in school. If you don't attend, are you taking any "lessons" for anything? No, but I would like to join a photography course somewhere. A book/piece that has had an exceptional impact on your life? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo just made me hate war more than I innately did. What genres of music are your favorite? Just metal as an umbrella term. Some heavy stuff, some less, some in the middle, some leaning towards other genres... but I just like metal. Do you think that fate plays a part in people's lives? No. Wouldn't "fate" just make it all... worthless? Like we're just storybook characters with a predetermined ending? What are your opinions on the media? One word: manipulative. What's a piece of technology you'd like to own? I REALLY want a PS4, especially lately. There's just a lot of games I REALLY want to play. Are you afraid of technology developing to where we're too reliant on it? We're already *too* reliant on it, which I do believe is a bad thing. I know, absolutely hysterical for me to be talking. What's your favorite odd ice cream flavor? I don't think I've ever had a truly odd ice cream flavor. There's this local place though that makes a kind that tastes JUST like s'mores, and I can fucking murder a cup of that. What's your opinion on stereotypes/labels? They're limiting and devalue uniqueness, imo. I know very, very few people who totally fit a certain stereotype, so why even bother. Like I don't care if you use them as adjectives to some extent, just don't put too much weight on them. Just be you. Do you believe that history repeats itself? It's not necessarily doomed to, but it happens sometimes, obviously. Would you rather learn from your mistakes or just undo them? Depends on the mistake. What was the most interesting class you had in school? Probably Mythology in high school. Do you write? If so, what? Yeah, meerkat role-play. And every now and again, poetry. Do you have a favorite culture? No; I'm not educated on nearly enough to pick one. Do you believe in global warming? Have you researched it? Lol no shit I do. I don't exactly think it takes much research to see with your own two eyes that it's factual. Do you prefer piercings or tattoos? Tattoos, if I had to pick. What comedy movie is your favorite? White Chicks. Have you ever meditated? Yes. Doesn't work for me. What comes to mind when you think of a great moment in your life? Realizing it was my choice to liberate myself and my happiness from my ex. He didn't and never should've carried it, because that's my right. What do you like about springtime? Aaaaall the flowers. <3 How have you handled having to stay in? It's not really different from my average day, so... How would your friends describe you? Quiet and overthinks literally everything. Have you ever hallucinated? When I was coming off a certain med in middle school, I saw black moving shadows. What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? The partial hospitalization program I attended for two months following my suicide attempt. It's where I met my psychiatrist, who set my medication straight. Medicine besides though, I learned so many coping techniques and just how to deconstruct my trauma. As well as possible, anyway. What is the worst decision you ever made? Handing over the ability to make happiness for myself to another person. What is your favorite arcade game? Don't have one. Do you feel neglected? No. What school subject(s) are/were your best? English, Arts, Science. Are you allergic to pollen? Yep. What style of wedding dress do you like best? Probably ballgown. Are you over your first love? I probably never will be in complete totality. Do you always answer your phone? No. I only ever do if I recognize the number. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Today is actually my sister's birthday. What song is currently stuck in your head? I have Halocene's cover of "What I've Done" on a loop right now. It has me absolutely covered in goosebumps. Do you ever use coloring books? Not really anymore. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? Not to my knowledge, no. What’s your favorite kind of salsa/dip to go with tortilla chips? Just your normal, mildly hot salsa. Do you wash your car by hand or drive through a car wash? Mom's car hasn't been washed in... well, years, given its bumper. Mom worries that in a car wash, it'll be broken off (it is literally held on with a lot of zip ties and duct tape), and we ourselves don't want to wash it, so... Do you have any uncommon kitchen appliances, such as espresso machines, waffle irons, etc? I know we have one or two, but idk what they're called. What did your parents major/minor in in college, if they went? Dad never went to college. Mom changed her major a few times, but her latest was social work, I believe. Has either of their careers influenced what career you chose or want to pursue? Not at all. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Why is your least favorite season your least favorite? Because it's hot as fuck and humid. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? I don't know. Hopefully I'll start one soon when I leave PHP and pursue a job... What room in your home do you spend the least amount of time in? I'm always in my room. Do you do anything to reduce the amount of electricity you use? I feel awful admitting I do quite the opposite... Being in the dark during the day affects my depression, so I'll have my lamp (or both) on even if it's just sort of shaded inside. Are you usually open to trying a new food that you aren’t familiar with? Eh, it depends on the food. I'm not very adventurous with foods though. Do you listen to Panic! At The Disco? I do. Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? ... It wasn't "kinky," but it was a dream lmao. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you couldn’t say it back? That's how I ended the whole Joel childishness. Which friend do you confide in most? My mom. Do you wear a cross? No. What is your favorite doughnut? That's so hard. :( Krispy Kreme's normal glazed though probably takes the cake. I also love chocolate frosted and just totally plain, though. Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? No. Did you read the Twilight series, or jump on the bandwagon after the movie? Neither. Do you or your parents rake your yard? Dad did growing up. Now nobody does or needs to. Who did you last go to the movies with? Dad, I think? What color was the last vehicle you were in? White. Do you have any family members in the military right now? No. Is there a ceiling fan in the room you’re in? Yeah. Have you ever heard voices? No. If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? Sara. Do you remember the first time your first crush ever said hi to you? No. Do you ever go places with wet hair? Yeah, idc. Who is your favorite little girl? My nieces. What do you want the most in life? To feel like I made a difference, even a tiny one. If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? OBVIOUSLY Amy Lee's. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought that turned out to be a waste of money? *shrug* What’s something you’ve bought that turned out to be way more useful than you anticipated? Hm. Have you ever been on a ship? No. Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) Yes. Would you rather adopt or have your own child? IF I wanted kids, which I absolutely do not, I'd rather have my own. I know I'd feel a deeper connection. What would you class as cheating on someone? As soon as you do/say something you don't want your s/o to know about, you're cheating. As far as earrings go, would you rather wear hoops or studs? Studs. Do you recycle? Yes. If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? People have thought I don't try hard enough before. Do you put a line through your "7"s? Yes. ^ What about your "Z"s? Yes. What are you most known for? My art "skill," at least irl. How do you feel about shameless self-promoting? Depends on when, where, and how. As someone who's trying to be a freelance photographer, I get that it's sadly necessary, but there are some places it's just uncalled for.

[anistarrose]

The Fishtank Between Time and Space (GF One-Shot)

Summary: Stan doesn’t think much of the pet axolotl Ford left behind… until he realizes hardly anyone else can see it.

Word Count: 2100

Warnings: none

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20653508

***

Stan initially figures it’s just a weird pet of Ford’s, simple as that. After all, Ford was okay with him adopting a possum and tying a knife to it when they were kids — little pink salamanders are frankly very normal, by the standards of Stanford Pines.

(Not to mention by the standards of the town that is Gravity Falls. Ford could’ve caught all kinds of disturbing creatures out there in the woods, like a feral gnome or a literal sentient fire... or like something that Stan hasn’t even laid eyes upon, only knowing of its existence from the creaking and rattling noises he always hears when venturing through the forest at night. But thankfully, Ford hasn’t invited any rabid beasts or dark entities that Stan knows of into his house, and Stan’s grateful for that.)

But the salamander — the “axolotl,” Stan learns after finally breaking down and doing some basic research — always feels just a little bit off, in a way he sometimes struggles to put his finger on.

He thinks it’s all in his head, how the beady eyes always seem to be fixed on him. How it never seems to stop smiling. How he’s never once seen it eat, even though the food pellets he gives it never seem to accumulate on the bottom of the tank.

He doesn’t know a whole lot about axolotls in general, and on the basis of that ignorance, he convinces himself that the salamander Ford left behind is perfectly normal.

Until one day a few months after Ford’s disappearance, when something rare happens — he has company other than the usual tourists.

It’s just Boyish Dan Corduroy, hired with some of the first spare cash Stan has had in a long time to come in and fix a few squeaky doors. But he takes his time lumbering through the living room on his way out, which sets Stan on edge. None of the secrets he’s hiding are possible to uncover from this floor of the house, but habit keeps him anxious. Throughout the rare times in his life in which he’s had a residence to call his own, visitors have almost always meant bad news.

Dan’s gaze lands on the fishtank, which has been diligently maintained as a healthy environment for salamanders even though the rest of the room is an unorganized mess. (There are a lot of jabs you could take at Stan’s character, but for whatever reason, he’s developed a soft spot for Ford’s old pet.) As always, the axolotl’s eyes stay fixed on Stan, even though the lumberjack is closer.

“You keep this tank pretty clean,” Dan notes. “You gonna buy some fish or something soon?”

“Well, I’ve already got the —” Stan pauses, realizing he’s not sure how to pronounce axolotl. “The salamander.”

Dan presses his face close to the side of the tank, inches from where the axolotl sits, gills twitching. “Really? Where?”

“You serious? It’s literally right in front of your face — that thing with the pink frills and the beady eyes?”

Dan steps back from the tank, throwing an arm behind Stan the clap him on the back. “Ah, I see what you’re doing! It’s a new attraction you’re testing out on me — the invisible salamander! Good one!”

“Are you — are you fucking with me? Can you really not see —”

But Dan’s already leaving. “Good luck with the Murder Hut business!” his voice boomed from the porch outside. “I’ll tell everyone to come visit your invisible friend!”

Stan whirls around back towards the tank. “Do you know what the fuck that was?” he asked the axolotl. “Who’s really pranking me here — Dan, or you?!”

The axolotl offers no reply, and Stan feels like an idiot for the brief moment in which he’d genuinely expected one.

“Maybe Ford did some weird occult shit to you, and you didn’t have a choice in the matter,” Stan mutters, shuddering slightly as he thought back to all the cracked prisms and X-ed out eyes he’d discovered in his brother’s house. “Or maybe I’m going crazy and hallucinated you all along.”

A bubble comes out of the axolotl’s mouth, rising to the top of the tank before bursting with a satisfying — and very real-sounding — pop.

“Thanks for the reassurance.” Stan tosses a handful of food into its tank, and trudges back to his bedroom upstairs.

There was one rule that Stan very quickly established as he began to run the Muder Hut — or the Mystery Shack, as he was thinking of renaming it — and that rule was not to keep anything genuinely supernatural around, unless it was vital to getting Ford back.

But the axolotl… well, it’s still up for debate whether it really is magical, but Dan hadn’t seemed like he’d been joking, and Stan’s pretty sure that if he was going to hallucinate, he wouldn’t imagine into existence a real salamander that he’d never heard of before with perfect accuracy.

Stan doesn’t want to get rid of it, though. He’s gotten used to the axolotl’s company and the routine of caring for it, even though its eyes still weird him out from time to time. And it’s already been around for months without showing any malicious tendencies, so… would there really be any harm in keeping it around?

***

Months, years, and then decades pass, and Stan’s relationship with the axolotl stays more or less the same. He feeds it and cleans its tank, it smiles at him, and he feels just the tiniest bit less lonely. It’s not much in terms of companionship, but Stan is happy to take what he can get. He talks to it sometimes, telling it about all the places he’s searched for Ford’s journals and all the roadblocks he keeps hitting while he works on reactivating the portal, and it always looks so encouraging.

But two things happen during those years — the first being that Stan becomes convinced that something supernatural is going on with that salamander.

Business is booming so dramatically that he can hardly handle it all on his own, and he goes through several handymen and cashiers before eventually firing each one. Almost all of them comment on the empty fishtank at one point or another, gesturing right towards the spot where Stan can see the axolotl floating, clear as day.

He definitely wonders if he really is hallucinating it after all, but then the second interesting thing happens: someone else notices the axolotl. Several someones.

“I didn’t know you had any pets besides the goat, Mr. Pines!” Soos exclaimes on his second full day working at the Mystery Shack, smooshing his face up against the side of the tank. “What a weird fish!”

Stan is so caught of guard that he doesn’t even think to explain that it’s actually a salamander. “Uh… yeah. It sure is.”

Soos frowns. “Something wrong, Mr. Pines?”

Stan folds his arms, shaking his head even though his mind is racing. “Me? I’m fine. Just wasn’t expecting you to spot the shy little guy, since it usually likes to… you know, hide from strangers. Now, were we going to try and fix the golf cart, or not?”

And that’s the end of the axolotl discussion with Soos, over as quickly as it had begun. During the rare occasions Stan leaves the Mystery Shack, he always instructs Soos to feed it, and the axolotl always seems happy and healthy when he returns. He cannot for the life of him figure out why he and Soos seem to be the only two people in the world who can see it, but eventually he gives up on wondering. A mystery like that would’ve always been more of a question for Ford, anyways.

When he hires Wendy, it takes a while for him to realize that she can see it too. She spends so many weeks passing by the fishtank and not commenting on it that when she finally brings it up, Stan nearly spits out his coffee.

“Where’d you get that salamander, Mr. Pines? My science teacher is looking for a class pet, but everyone just keeps suggesting boring stuff like hamsters.”

“Uh… it came with the Shack. Two-for-one kinda deal, you know.”

“Darn, I was hoping you fished it out of the lake or something. Then I could’ve just gone and caught one myself.”

A few years later, when the twins arrive for the summer, Stan’s heart aches as he watches them discover the fishtank for the first time.

“Hey, Dipper, come check this out! Do you know what kind of animal this is?”

“Whoa, is that an axolotl? That’s so cool! I think I read that in Aztec mythology, they’re associated with the god of twins!”

“Really? Then you’ve just made the perfect new summer pals, Mister Axolotl!”

“Don’t tap on the glass like that, Mabel. You might scare it.” Dipper notices Stan watching them, and immediately starts firing off question after question. “Where did you get it? Do you ever show it to tourists? How long have you had it? How long do axolotls live? It looks pretty small — is it still a juvenile? Do they ever get bigger than this?”

Stan sighs. “Kid, I didn’t even know how to pronounce the world ‘axolotl’ until you showed up today. All I know is how to keep it fed — anything else, and you’re better off looking it up at the library or on a computer or wherever.”

“Well, you at least know where you got it from, right?”

Stan scoops a spoonful of food into the tank, avoiding eye contact with Dipper as he headed back to the gift shop. “I do, but it wouldn’t be the Mystery Shack if I didn’t keep a few secrets, would it?”

Dipper groans. “You’re no fun.”

***

When the axolotl disappears, it hits Stan harder than it should.

Even after thirty years of taking care of it, he never quite thought of it as his pet. It always struck him as more like a roommate, if anything — a lovable little freeloader who came in on its own terms, and stuck around only because it liked the place. Stan’s never given any thought as to why, but he’s always just felt weirdly certain that it could leave at any time if it wanted to.

And now, it has.

So he can’t help but wonder if it’s his fault. If he didn’t clean the tank enough, or cleaned it too much, or wasn’t fast enough noticing or resolving the situation with the lobster Mabel dumped in the tank.

Maybe it wasn’t anything he did. Maybe the axolotl just got bored of watching a man spending thirty years lying to tourists, forging his own brother’s signature, failing to learn quantum physics, and ultimately accomplishing absolutely nothing worthwhile.

Eventually, the kids notice and ask him, and this time he can’t spin it as a secret he’s keeping. He genuinely doesn’t know.

***

After Weirdmageddon, Stan’s memories are a two-thousand piece puzzle scattered across a tabletop, and he thinks he’s starting to fit some of the edge pieces together again, but there are still more gaps than connections. He remembers that the people who have been doting on him and showing him pictures are his family, and he remembers that he loves them and trusts them to help restore him to his former self, but progress is just… so… slow.

He doesn’t remember why they say he saved the world. He’s pretty sure they’re stretching the truth a little, but after seeing the way Ford’s face fell when Stan first asked why everyone was calling him a hero, he’s decided not to correct them.

So what if he doesn’t feel heroic? If it makes his family feel better, he’ll keep it to himself — it’s the least he can do, considering how many tears they’ve already shed for him.

But the first morning after his alleged act of heroism, while trudging through the ramshackle ruins of (he thinks) his house — a flicker of motion from behind cracked glass catches his eye.

The fishtank is nearly drained of water, but a familiar salamander sits in the puddle at the bottom, beaming at him. Stan blinks and rubs his eyes, wondering if he’s still dreaming, but then —

It speaks to him, in an ethereal and musical voice that resonates oddly in his ears, like he’s hearing the echo before he hears the words themselves.

I am so proud of you, Stanley.

“For what?”

Everything.

It dissolves into a froth of tiny, pink, glowing bubbles, which burst one by one as they float towards the top of the tank, and then the axolotl is gone.

***

(End notes:

So one day a few weeks ago, I just randomly woke up thinking “what if the Axolotl was only visible to the members of the Zodiac?” and several bouts with writers’ block later, here we are! Thoughts/comments/reblogs are welcomed as always!)

[dxmagedrose]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER!

Tagged by: my lover @hammurabicomplex​ I’m tagging: anyone and everyone who wants to pick this one up! share with the class if you feel like it! tag me in it!!

PRESENTING. RANDOM DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO-MUN AT 2AM ;

FIRST NAME Good fucking question… It’s (sort-of) currently Dylann! I was Kieran before that, though; it’s still used as one of my first names and I’m not used to Dylann quite yet bc I’ve just started using it. 

Indigo is one of my middle names though, and I’ve used it as an online handle elsewhere forever so I use it here now!  [ Fun etymology facts: Dylan(n) is a mythology name generally meaning “born of the wave” (aspiring diver & a water witch at heart). Kieran means “little dark one” bc of my love for horror, && I chose Indigo bc as a kid to be it was neither boy (blue) or purple (girl) and was both and neither as well as my absolute favorite color as this vibrant ass mystical color. ]

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF hmmmmm…. I’m a horror lover at heart, so as a child (I wanna say 12), I was walking through an antique store (I have a few cool finds, I considered putting my other one as the fact tbh) and I turned the corner and I saw these two dolls staring back at me at the foot of the stairs of this antique building. my blood froze, and i felt my stomach drop. i got actual, physical goosebumps stumbling across these two creepy dolls staring back at me in the corner, and i couldn’t leave the store without them. perhaps the little painted porcelain boy would be somewhat spooky by himself if it wasn’t for the terrifying lidded gaze of the porcelain girl with the hairline fractures and slightly open lips. i cant look at her. i dont really find dolls scary, I like to find the spookier ones ones, and she makes me paranoid as hell. i keep her face covered and her up in my closet except for when i bring her out to show her off proudly as the spookiest thing I have but……. i dont really collect dolls anymore.  even thinking about her brings a fearful tear to my eye.  i don’t like to think about her for very long, but that’s why I’m so fucking proud to own her. ( YES — I’m THAT white person in the horror film )

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hhhhh a beardy jawline, high cheekbones, crooked canine teeth >:3c

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF b.l.t.’s with avocado. ahhhh. my mouth is watering just thinking about it, oh my god. just a bit of salt and pepper???

A FOOD YOU HATE barbecue anything, i hate the taste of bbq sauce, you keep your nasty black goo to yourselves at the grill. twice in my life i have presented with barbecue pizza and both times i cried literal tears. why would you do such a horrible thing to a person? what kind of a monster are you? how do you sleep at night?!

GUILTY PLEASURE the sims. constantly. always. i’ve sunk thousands of hours into my households. oh also uhhhhhh i run two 80s horror blogs, one being a shitpost blog with occasional art of mine and one gremlin fanfic ship blog for horrible, terrible self indulgent fanfics i’ll get the courage to finish writing & post so i can be cancelled on tumblr for at some point. NO, i won’t link them. as i pretend they’re even all that hard to find, within a day i was found on both by someone i admire here a lot :’) ilu bby thnk u eternally for supporting ur local horrifying dumbass wtf

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN the same clothes i’ve been wearing all day usually, my sweats & long sleeve raglans or my hoodies. i like being cozy day & and out. and ugh. efoort. just throw me in a blanket in a cool room and im out.

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships with some openness or poly. i wish i could fling! just not exactly easy for demisexual autistics lmao.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE I think I would be adopted by my grandma as a kid. It would save me some trauma but mostly I think it would get my autism diagnosed way earlier and save me angsting all these years of wondering why & thinking it’s my fault I’m struggling so much and so loud and affectionate and different in a world that i didnt fit in the same way. 

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON when i get drunk i text people how much they mean to me in my life. does that answer your question? ahhh. i’m sometimes a cuddle monster with friends, i message people with long texts about how much they mean to me, but I sometimes really don’t like to be touched at all. 

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN FLYPAPER.  F L Y P A P E R.  FLYPAPER.  FLY, and, I can’t stress this enough, fucking PAPER. ( Though also Whole Nine Yards and both Re-Animator & Bride ). I have watched Flypaper already like, 5 times this week and I’m still not done, and the other movies have been on repeat for days in this household within the last year. In the past it has also been Donnie Darko & the new Nightmare on Elm Street.  roast me.

FAVORITE BOOK White Fang by Jack London. Have I actually ever finished it? No. Do I still own a copy I’ve had since childhood thru multiple dogs eating it, taking it to and from school, and highlighting and circling all the best parts of chapter one ever since I was a kid and it was too hard of a book for me to read? You bet your ass. If I ever need inspiration I just reread chapter 1. Although one of my other favorites was Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes. But White Fang is like, a weirdly personal text. We stan London’s writing in this household.

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE FENNEC FOX!! I used to daydream about having my own named Shiloh when I was a lil kid. they’re adorable little things and i am obsessed. i mean, gimme any fox and im happy, marble foxes, red foxes… but I was obsessed with fennec foxes. Also tbh ferrets. I want a ferret.

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] Rosa & @ninetyscnds‘s Luke, Rosa & @iimpulsivity is already screaming my name, Rosa & Constantine, Jesse & Andrea from Breaking Bad, and the joker and harley of 80s sci-fi Dan & Herbert from Re-Ani.  I am but a simple opossum. 

PIE OR CAKE Pie! I’ll take both pumpkin & melty apple over cake. also, cheesecake is more pie than cake soooo, pie wins.

FAVORITE SCENT my dogs / my blanket. :’)  It’s the most grounding smell in the world. 

CELEBRITY CRUSH oliver jackson-cohen, i’m fucking GAY and im angry about it. there i was, minding my own business, and i saw that asshole in a certain SHIRTLESS GIF and it AWOKE SOMETHING IN ME. dont talk to me about it, holy shit im obsessed with beardy men now god fuckkdafjaask i hate him why did he make me this gay i was perfectly fine being into girls but NOOOOOO him and his dumb hairy chest and sweet rugged face and I——  I also am obsessed with the archaeologist & television personality Josh Gates and may or may not be considering making a fan blog for him bc idk if my anthropology docuseries host is Dad or Daddy but i love him lots

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I would go on a dive with anthropologists and archaeologists doing fieldwork research in the ancient cenotes of the Yucatán Peninsula. My actual dream job, catch me crying & fantasizing about being underwater documenting Mayan skulls given as offerings. Fuckkkk, I love anthropology so much!!  take me anywhere in the world to immerse myself into culture & archaeology.

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Introvert. I have a real life friend I see roughly once a month, and that’s it. Plenty of online relationships, I’m chatty, message me all day every day. but i dont do people well.

DO YOU SCARE EASILY I used to! Really bad. I don’t as much anymore. I do get paranoia a lot still. Having therapists telling you that the FBI could be outside your house watching you through your windows will kind of nervous. ( no google results for: yes hello fbi i am a writer please dont put me on watchlists i just have research i need to do for this idea im working on, would you like to try again? ) I have nightmares nightly but not they never make me afraid, they just make me feel like crap. jumpscares and loud noises and seeing people reaching into their pockets dont set off as many brain alarms anymore tho!! progress haha.

IPHONE OR ANDROID I like my android better bc of capabilities but meh

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES My mom, her husband & I play COD for family game night, and Silent Hill is my life’s blood. I’ve sunken hours into Sims & Skyrim, and Norman Jayden from Heavy Rain is my #1 fictional character in existence, why do i love the druggie babies

DREAM JOB Oh… You’re asking me to pick? I’d love to be an anthropologist doing work out in the field. Underwater archaeology is peak, but I’m also heavily considering being a body recovery diver or police diver. I’d love to see myself in uniform someday, if possible. Just the thought makes me teary eyed & proud.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS fund my person creative & educational endeavors. get myself a spooky ass abandoned house to make my own home to create in, and travel to the world’s best dive sites. just live a mild life of education, creation & exploration. that’s the dream TM.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE dr. hill is a gross and whiny lil bitch this post brought to u by the miskatonic crew, how is everyone here an even worse bad guy than herbert west precious dan excluded talk shit get hit tho john winchester from spn and both walter white & todd from breaking bad are all in my crew of hated characters. i jusT…   the reani novel is difficult to read because i have to deal with this old sack of shit.

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER Supernatural :-)

… AND THIS CONCLUDES A DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO!! //

[marsmoonqueen]

There’s Nothing to Fix

Professor!Negan x Reader

Warning: Long as fuck. Nothing else I can really think about.

Prompt / Summary: Reader is Negan’s favorite student. How is he going to fix the things between both of them?

Note:  Well, this is the second part of “ Sleeping Test” Hope you like it! 

A week passed after the “incident” with Professor Negan. A week in which Y/n did not go to any of her Mythology classes, with the excuse that she was sick. In those 5 days, she had enough time to think properly and heal a little. A part of her wanted to go back to Negan and apologize, to ask him to forgive her and take all what he said back, to beg him to keep thinking of her as his favorite student. But the other part, the prideful, spiteful and choleric part of herself was wrathful, and wanted him to regret telling her that, to regret making her cry. Because it wasn’t her fault. Yeah, she partied all night long, the night before her test, but everyone has done that at least once. And everyone has done that because it feels good. Because we are humans and we deserve to be carefree and wild for a night. And even after all, she didn’t regret going to that party to support her best friends.

“When are you going back to your classes?” Tyler asked her. They were in her room. Y/n was lying in her stomach doing the Mythology’s homework to catch up, and he was in her couch reading some Biology stuff.

“What do you mean? I haven’t missed a class since Wednesday, and I caught up with the subjects already.”

“You haven’t missed a single class since then? You sure?” He insisted.

“Shut up.”

“You know you will have to go back one day, right?” Tyler tried to sound comprehensive.

Y/n didn’t respond.

“And that day will come sooner than later.”

She stopped writing and looked at him for the first time since he started talking.

“I’ll go next week.”

“Well, that’s awesome, and so convenient because in two days is Monday again and-”

“No, I mean, next week, after this one.” The girl interrupted him.

“Oh hell no.” Tyler got up from his spot in the couch, walked to his friend and took her wrists, making her get out of bed gently but firmly.

“Tyler what the-”

“You, my friend, are going in two days to that stupid class, no next week, no next month, two days.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Oh, you don’t want to, but you do want to fail de class, eh?  Stop being a cry baby. Yes, he made fun of you in front of, what? 50 people.”

“52, thanks for remind me.” She answered with a bitter tone as she got off his hands and sited down in her bed.

“Oh shut up. What’s the big deal with that? Do you think you are the only one that has passed through that?  Don’t you remember Glenn?  The boy is always getting detention for talking too much with Maggie!”

“It’s… It’s just not the same.”

“Then enlighten me! What’s the difference?”

“He… he had never talked to me like that before. That was the first time that he raised his voice at me.”

Tyler’s eyes softened and he took sit next to her to hug her.

“I know, but… you can’t let him get away with this.  Would you rather avoid him for a month and then have to see him in the summer because you failed the class for non-attendance?”

“No, I would rather not to.”

“Then woman up! Go to his class, show him how intelligent and badass you can be at the same time and end this. For you are just hurting yourself.  Do you really think that he is sad?  Or that he regrets yelling at you?  I’ll answer that for you, no, he doesn’t.  So, go get some pants, or a skirt if you prefer, and do your god damn job.”

  But, truth to be told, Negan was sad. He regretted yelling at his girl, and more than that, he hated that he was the reason why she spilled tears. All he said, all he screamed, he really didn’t mean it. How could he be serious about her being a wanna be Barbie?

It’s just that… he was so mad and… and disappointed. Disappointed because she went to that party with that boy who couldn’t treat her half as good as he could. Disappointed because she chose that son of a bitch instead of him… but again, she really didn’t choose anyone, she just went to a party. Her only mistake was not studying, and even then, she had an acceptable score.

Why?

Why did he have to be so rude to her? Why did he have to make fun of her score in front of the class? Why did it affect him that much?

“You know, you could apologize.” Professor Rick Grimes said as he entered the room and left some papers in Negan’s desk.

“What are you talking about Ricky Dicky?”

“I’m talking about the student to whom you yelled like she had murdered a puppy just because she went to a party a day before.” He answered taking sit in the desk, facing the chairs and giving his back to Negan, who raised his brow but said nothing about the action.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“I mean it-”

“Well, how the god damn hell am I supposed to apologize if she keeps skipping classes? Eh? You have any ideas mate?”

“She can’t skip classes forever.” Was his only answer.

Negan growled and rested his head on his hands, frustrated. “That’s not what I asked.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not really sure what you are asking for.”

“Help.” Rick turned his head to see Negan, who was already looking at him. “I’m not sure of what to do.”

Grimes noticed the difference between the Negan of last week and this one. The one in front of him looked like a living corpse, with bags under his irritated and red eyes and everything. He noticed everything since the beginning, but blamed the stress. Just now he realized that the stress had nothing to do with it.

“Why did you yell at her?” He asked curiously, after some minutes of silence, turning his gaze to the front again. “It’s not like any of your other students haven’t done that.  Or worse.”

“It’s different with her.”

“Why?”

“She has a lot of fucking potential, and I don’t want her to-”

“Waste it. Yeah, that’s what I was told you told her.” Rick interrupted, standing up and facing Negan with his arms supporting his weight on the desk. “Now, tell me the real reason why you lost your shit.”

Negan froze. “Wha- What are you talking about Dicky? I didn’t lose my shit.” He got up and gave his back to Grimes.

“Yeah, of course.” Rick rolled his eyes. “And it has nothing to do with her boyfriend using her and her being a… how did you called her?”

The man swallowed hard. “A fake-doll” He whispered feeling guilty.

“Oh, yeah that.” His friend pushed, trying to make Negan cooperate with him. But he only managed to make him sight and look at his shoes. “Negan, look at me man.” He did. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong. C’mon, talk to me.”

“You want me to fucking talk? Okay, then lets fucking talk.”

  “Hey, Y/n, it’s good to see you here again.” Said Beth smiling, when she arrived to her Monday Mythology class. She just smiled back.

Other classmates also greeted her, telling her about what she missed and all commenting about Negan’s bad humor the anterior week. Once more, she just smiled, made smooth comments and avoided the topics about the teacher, feeling safer every minute about the fact that nobody was bringing the elephant of the room to the conversations.

All the laughs and smiled faded when a loud blow sounded. It was the door from which a frustrated Negan entered, as he passed by, he gave them all a quick look, and went straight to his desk, demanding silence.

“Hope you have read today’s topic, because it can be easy as hell if you did, if not… you’ll be fucked.”  Then he turned around and froze. He saw her.

Y/n held his gaze when his eyes met her, she didn’t make any expression, nor got flushed or flinched, just raised a brow, and that was enough to punch Negan out of his state.

She was mad and wasn’t going to let that anger go away easily. She had finally understood that it wasn’t her mistake, and was going to pay him back with her indifference.

The two hours’ class passed slow for both of them. Negan hadn’t lied when he said they all would be fucked if they hadn’t read the topic, for it was a complex one. Y/n did not participate willingly in any question he asked or in any activity he dictated. But Negan asked her the majority of the questions and asked for her point of view in the activities. She responded to all with a correct answer, but with a monotone tone and expression.

When the second bell finally ringed, she got up and without rush she leaved with her friends around her asking about her last week. She didn’t give Negan time to ask her to stay, but he doubted she would have.

 The week passed with similarity. In the beginning Negan though she was acting that way just to make him feel guilty. But she laughed with her friends and lived her life normally. She didn’t even try to avoid him, and when she saw him outside class, she just ignored him. Of course she greeted him in front of other teachers, but her face never changed. All of her was screaming at him that she didn’t care. At least not anymore.

  Friday’s class arrived with rain, a relaxed Y/n and an equally stressed Negan; and also a test. The instructions were the same, except for a little variation. Nobody was going home until everybody got their test was graded, and the tests were going to be grated after everyone had finished. Everybody thought the same “Bullshit”

Usually Negan would let the go after they finished a test, but this was the second time he changed his strategy, the fist being the night of the “incident”.

Y/n gave it back a little before the second hour started, and spend the rest of it in her laptop making a book report, with Negan’s eyes glued to her.

After everyone gave them back, Negan finished grading them and started to distribute them. One in one her classmates were exiting the room after taking their tests. Y/n had already packed everything except for a book, and was currently listening music and reading in her chair in a careless position. She seemed bored and wanting to go out, not because his presence made her nervous or something, but because she was disgusted, or tired. Or that’s what Negan thought.

But Y/n was an excellent actress. She was sweating and her heart was going to an abnormal rate. She couldn’t concentrate in her book and had to listen to her favorite band and hum her significant songs to avoid panicking. And being the last one in the room with her professor didn’t help at all.

“This is yours, very well sweetheart.” Negan said out loud, looking at her eyes.

Y/n froze; she couldn’t move from her place. Her eyes traveled from her book to Negan’s eyes to her phone, and changed the song with her shaking hands. Of course Negan didn’t see this, he just saw how she ignored him.

The girl was having difficulties finding a song that could calm her down enough and give her the strength she needed to go and take her test. Finally, she decided to take it from his desk after he had gone.

“Your test pretty girl.” Negan said putting the paper above her book. He was in front of her with a nervous smile. One she had never seen in him. “Well-fucking-done honey.”

“I heard you the first time sir.  I just thought that I was fake-doll now, no sweetheart, no pretty girl, nor honey.” She said, with a cynical smile. She herself, got surprised by her outburst, but regretted nothing as she got up from her sit and took her bag in one hand with her book, test and phone in the other.

Negan who was shocked, took her by the elbow. “Wait a motherfucking second, and stop acting like that!” He whisper-yelled at her.

“Acting like what?” Y/n said, tuning to face him fully, and taking off her headphones in one go. “I’m not acting in any specific way, sir.”

“Stop it! See, you are fucking doing it fucking again!”

“Fucking doing what? Eh?” She got closer to him. Her face red, his jaw clenched, her eyes teary, his eyes darker than usual, her body slightly shaking, his tense as hell.

“Stop fucking acting like-”

“Like fucking what?” She interrupted him. At this point their noses were centimeters away from each other.

“Like you don’t fucking care! Like I didn’t hurt the hell out of you!” Negan growled, with the same tone he used that day.

The girl in front of him gasped “That’s what you want? To know that you hurt me? That you made me cry?” She broke, her expression changed, and her eyes were at the verge of shedding tears.

“No- no, sweetheart that’s not what I meant.” He said softly, regretting had yelled –again- at her. “Hey, hey, no, come here.” He gently pulled her from her elbow, that he hadn’t let go, until she was between her arms. When she realized what had happened it was already too late. His arms imprisoned her.

“Let me go!” She whispered as she withed in his arms.

“No, no, you and I are going to stay like this until we fix this.” He told her as he moved carefully to his desk. Once there he leaned in his desk to have some support and continued hugging her. Y/n had already forgotten the idea of fighting and was just crying her heart out in Negan’s chest.

“There’s- There’s nothing to fi-fix” She managed to say between hiccups.

“Yes there it is… you know that, sweetie.” He whispered to her ear.

“You haven’t even apologized.”

“I know-”

“You were so rude, you made me feel bad with myself.” The girl said raising her head to see his, her red puffy eyes connecting with his, making him feel guiltier.

“I know baby, I’m- I’m-”

“Why would you do that?!” Y/n pushed herself away from him, but it was pointless, he didn’t let her get away.

“Hey, hey, okay let me explain… I, well, I had a-”

“A bad day? That’s why you treated me like that?! Like I was the worse trash.”

“You are no trash-”

“I know that!” She yelled again.

Negan was losing her, she was panicking and getting angrier. The peace and willingness to hear his version was fading fast because he couldn’t get his shit together. Y/n was looking at him and trying harder to get out of his embrace. Even though it felt like heaven, he wasn’t going to apologize, or explain. Being there was pointless.

Just when she was going to finally scape his arms, his lips connected with hers. She tried to resist. But the devil won in the end, and she deepened the kiss, dropping her bag and book pass her arms behind his neck. A melody came to her brain and made her smile in the kiss. Damn his lips were addictive, but air was necessary.

“I’m sorry, baby. I wish I hadn’t yelled at you, it was a bad fucking day, and… and I was mad at you.” He said when they got their breath back.

“At me?  Why?” She looked at his eyes with a curious and innocent expression, all anger gone.

“Why? I dunno, maybe because you didn’t fucking study for the test I god damn told you to study for, just because you wanted to go to a party with your idiot of a boyfriend.” Even though that was the reason that made him blow a week prior, he couldn’t find in himself anger to lecture her, instead, he kissed her nose as he spoke softly.

“My boyfriend? That’s all? You- you were jealous?” Y/n asked with a goofy smile. Negan’s lips were making her incoherent.

“Yeah, that damn idiot. And no, I was not.” The man stopped petting her so she could focus, and maybe, tell him what he was dying to hear.

“Ty is not my boyfriend, just a very good friend, I don’t like him that way.” She said all serious. Negan studied her for a moment, then broke in a smile.

“Oh, really? Then who do you like that way? Mmh?” He continued placing his lips in her cheeks and neck, checking from time to time the door, to be sure no one was coming.

“Well- I- mhh.”

“I don’t know that fella.” He tickled her sides.

“You! Agh, stop it.” She laughed.

“Fan-fucking-tastic sweetheart. That’s what I wanted to hear.” He kissed her again. “Now, why don’t you let me repay you with a date and more kisses? Mhh, what do you say beautiful?”

Y/n giggled. “I would love that.”

<3

@nijiru @neganscherryblue

Thanks for all!

[verytamenow]

Any or all of them, huh? All of them

That wasn’t a this or that thing but I’m bored and technically did ask for it so fine...smartass...

1. What is you middle name? Eric Lynn

2. How old are you? 27

3. When is your birthday? June 8

4. What is your zodiac sign? Gemini

5. What is your favorite color? It depends. To wear? For walls? For a car? In general, steel blue.

6. What’s your lucky number? I don’t really have one, but I’ll choose 7 or 13 if I have to pick one.

7. Do you have any pets? I’m not a pet person

8. Where are you from? Socal

9. How tall are you? 5′5.5″

10. What shoe size are you? US Mens 7

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Umm...shit...like....6?

12. What was your last dream about? I honestly don’t even remember.

13. What talents do you have? Bold of you to assume I could have talents

14. Are you psychic in any way? I’ve had a couple premonition like dreams, but they clue me in to anything important and I don’t wake up remembering much of them.

15. Favorite song? Losing My Religion by REM

16. Favorite movie? Alien, maybe? Or Iron Man.

17. Who would be your ideal partner? I don’t have a specific person in mind. Definitely someone patient but unwilling to tolerate any bullshit. Must understand sarcasm.

18. Do you want children? Dear gods NO!

19. Do you want a church wedding? I don’t particularly care. I don’t really want one but I’d do it if my partner wanted one. No guarantee I’d not get struck down entering the church.

20. Are you religious? Not really. I struggle with the concept of organized religion. But I do respect spirituality so long as it’s not being used to justify bigotry and have some sort of vague belief in it. 

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes. Both for my own care and to visit family, none of which are fond memories.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? I haven’t.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? No, not yet. But hopefully one day Taylor will run out of other people to meet and finally take pity on me.

24. Baths or showers? Showers! I can’t stand baths for more than 10-15 minutes but can take an hour long shower.

25. What color socks are you wearing? Light and dark blue striped socks.

26. Have you ever been famous? No.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Yes and no. I’d not say no to the potential money involved. But I’m a quiet guy and if I couldn’t find a way to protect my privacy like Taylor’s managed, I’d be done with it pretty quickly.

28. What type of music do you like? A bit of everything, but I’ve been on a pop kick recently.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No, but I’d give it a go in the right setting.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? One, unless they’re not firm enough.

31. What position do you usually sleep in? I usually fall asleep on my side.

32. How big is your house? Few bedrooms and a couple bathrooms, 2 stories. Decent sized.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I usually don’t. But if I wake up starving, I’ll try to find some leftover chicken or something to munch on, usually cold. 

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yeah, fired a few different types. I’m not a great shot and I don’t handle the noise well. I struggle pulling the trigger for whatever reason.

35. Have you ever tried archery? I haven’t but I really want to!

36. Favorite clean word? Strobocopic is the first word that comes to mind and that’s 100% my dad’s fault, damn him.

37. Favorite swear word? Fuck.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? About 48 hours? I’ll usually take a sleeping pill or pass out on my own by then.

39. Do you have any scars? Ignoring the obvious quip about mental ones, I’ve got a couple physical. Got a faint one on my knee from busting it open as a kid that you can’t really see now. Got a fair few stretch marks and some acne scars as well.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? If I did, they were so secret I didn’t know about them.

41. Are you a good liar? Depends on what it is and how close I am to them. I can lie alright on phone or text unless you know me well or tell a stranger a white lie. But I’ve got no poker face whatsoever so I suck at the big ones, and the closer I am to someone the worse I get at lying. 

42. Are you a good judge of character? Kinda? I haven’t trusted too many assholes but like anyone I can overlook the bad in someone I care about. 

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Nope.

44. Do you have a strong accent? I don’t think so.

45. What is your favorite accent? British or Australian.

46. What is your personality type? Impatient but laid back smartass with a mixed sense of self preservation. I’m a pretty go with the flow guy, but yeah patience isn��t my strong suit.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? My redwing boots.

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes.

49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie.

50. Left or right handed? Strongly right-handed.

51. Are you scared of spiders? I’m fucking terrified of them. It’s sad, really. Even the small ones.

52. Favorite food? Seafood in general or a good rare steak.

53. Favorite foreign food? Sushi!

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I’m a mess tbh. I try but I can’t quite seem to keep things up.

55. Most used phrased? “Fuck” probably.

56. Most used word? See above.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? About 30 with a shower.

58. Do you have much of an ego? I’d like to say no, but I know I’ve got a bit of pride about some things.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck until they’re almost gone and then bite.

60. Do you talk to yourself? Not so much now. If I’m alone in the house for an extended period, or I’m trying to work something out or stay focused, then yeah.

61. Do you sing to yourself? I rarely sing along to music in the car, let alone casually to myself.

62. Are you a good singer? Gods no.

63. Biggest Fear? The glib answer is spiders. But in the spirit of the question lise: the actual answer is the inevitable fuck up that is the last straw that leds to people leaving.

64. Are you a gossip? Yes and no? I don’t spread serious rumours, but I’ll absolutely talk shit with those I’m closest with. Kinda a nosey little prick too, I like knowing things.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? My mind kinda went straight to titanic. The 90s jumped out.

66. Do you like long or short hair? I wear my hair short (because getting misgendered makes me want to fling myself off the nearest cliff), but would theoretically consider wearing it longer if/when my facial hair comes in. On a partner, I like either.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? I wouldn’t put money on it, but if I could see a list as I named them, I’d probably manage okay.

68. Favorite school subject? History. Or mythology, though that wasn’t a dedicated subject.

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert AF.

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No and I don’t think I ever would. 

71. What makes you nervous? It’s the anxiety, bro.

72. Are you scared of the dark? More scared of the tricks my mind can play on me in it, especially if I’m trying to sleep.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Depends on how close I am and what the mistake is.

74. Are you ticklish? Very and I don’t find being tickled funny or enjoyable. I’m likely to get pretty pissed off if someone tickles me intentionally.

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Never intentionally.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Not really? Not with any real power.

77. Have you ever drank underage? Tried a few things, didn’t care for the taste.78. Have you ever done drugs? I tried pot but I can’t inhale for shit so it didn’t do anything for me.

79. Who was your first real crush? The first I can recall was a boy named Corbin in the first grade. He had dark hair and eyes and was nice and I thought he was cute and fun to play with. Then there was a girl named Emily who was tall and blonde. I don’t think I really knew they were crushes though. The first time I had a crush and KNEW it was a crush was high school, on a girl in my chem class and then on my physics teacher in my junior year.

80. How many piercings do you have? None.

81. Can you roll your Rs? Not anymore.

82. How fast can you type? 45-ish WPM?

83. How fast can you run? Not very fast.

84. What color is your hair? Dark blonde.

85. What color is your eyes? Blue.

86. What are you allergic to? Some laundry detergent. If it’s heavily scented I will break out in hives.

87. Do you keep a journal? No, but I’ve been told I should.

88. What do your parents do? My dad works in IT.

89. Do you like your age? Yes and no. I don’t have a problem with my age or nearing 30, but I could also fuck up my life in new and interesting ways if I could be younger knowing what I know now.

90. What makes you angry? Bigotry. Willful ignorance and unwillingness to listen. Hypocrisy. 

91. Do you like your own name? Yes, which is why I picked it.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? I have zero, if not negative, desire to reproduce. But I like gender neutral names for girls - Parker, Peyton, Reagan, etc.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I don’t want either but I REALLY would not know what to do with a child who liked traditionally feminine things.

94. What are you strengths? Sheer stubbornness.

95. What are your weaknesses? Impatience.

96. How did you get your name? I wanted to keep my initials and Zach was the name that came to mind and felt right.

97. Were your ancestors royalty? If you go back far enough, you’ll usually stumble across it.

98. Do you have any scars? Wasn’t this a previous question???

99. Color of your bedspread? Blue, not that I use it.

100. Color of your room? White. Never did get around to painting it.

[trashboatprince]

Um, hi? I was just wondering if you can give me some few tips before I read Homestuck? Please?

HOO BOY.

Okay, I had no tips when I first read it, but I can give you a few:

1. Please keep an open mind, people have very, VERY strong opinions over the littlest things in this series, your opinions are your own, don’t let other people shape them for you. I have learned to just see the series as a whole in a light that let’s me enjoy it but I still know it has a lot of cons, but there are pros that allow it to have a great story. Hell, I did a whole final paper for my mythology class on why Homestuck actually follows a solid story structure, specifically the Hero Story, and all stories have their faults, that’s what makes it a strong story.

2. The first four acts are good, the fifth act is good, but I highly recommend the first four, they are great character development for the four MAIN characters (the trolls are main characters, but John, Dave, Rose, and Jade are the central characters and the main focus). Also, the first act is my all-time favorite. And the Intermission is fantastic. Act Five is enjoyable, but I found it to be pretty boring for the majority of it, at least the first half. 

3. Hussie made some big mistakes and some jokes that are considered... bad nowadays, but keep in mind that these sorts of things were normal for internet culture back in 2009 and that’s when the comic takes place, so it makes sense. Still, you don’t have to like all of the old jokes and commentary of the time, that’s fine. Re-reading it made me cringe a little, but I still found jokes that were super hilarious among the weak/bad ones. 

4. It’s a LONG read. Very long. This is one of the longest works of fiction in modern history, so be ready. Also, the animation, though silly, has beautiful moments, and the music is some of the best content you will ever find from the series and the fandom. Big note: Do NOT skip the dialogue, you’ll miss important plot points, even if they don’t seem like they’re important, they WILL come back (Well, most of them, some are forgotten or glossed over later).

5. Act Six is a chore. The first part is great, I love the Alpha Kids, but then it drags. And drags. And draaaaagggggsssssssss. Then it picks up. Then it turns weird. Really weird. But that’s my experience, so... *shrugs wildly*

6. The quadrants are confusing, but they make sense later on. Actually, troll culture is bizarre as all get out and has some very conflicting factors, but remember, they’re aliens. But there are some things that the fandom tends to... forget. Hm. HMMMMM.

7. Ships happen. Then they die. Then others happen. Then some come back in different ways. And some are so vague that I think Hussie is just fucking with us cause he confirms it but it’s done in memes that it’s so hard to tell that I don’t really consider them ‘canon’. Actually, I think at this point only five ships are canon and that’s it. I won’t say what they are cause of ship wars and I avoid them at all cost. I’ve seen them. I’ve been there...

8. Enjoy it! Enjoy the content you find it that catches your attention in a good way! I’m not active in the fandom as much outside of hosting Jake Week and the rare art, but I still find stuff in it that I love! I still hold a special place in my heart for the Beta and Alpha Kids, I still love the original story from Act One up until a certain part of Act Six! Don’t let the fandom of 2015 until now keep you from finding elements that you like about it! And if the series is not your cup of tea, that’s okay too! I have lost of friends who don’t care for it, and that’s great!

9. Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff is a terrible kind of beautiful. It’s like... watching the Room, it’s so dumb it’s fascinating.

10. Trickster Mode is a trip and a half, be ready to have your eyes burned by bright colors. 

Have fun reading! And watching! And playing! (Yes, parts of the narrative are told through an actual game!)

[changesxnight]

1-50 Steve Randle for the the excessively detailed headcanons

What does their bedroom look like?- messy as hell- he never makes his bed - his desk is the only thing that’s organized because that’s where he does homework

Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?- playing football with the gang is his favorite - the gang just does athleticy things at least twice a week- any day that it’s sunny, they’ll go out and do something

What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?- the kitchen is never busy at his house - but if somehow his father was making dinner for himself of course, cause fuck Steve, Steve would just go out to eat or to the Curtises’ house

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.) - the office at the DX is a mess, no thanks to Soda- so he tries to clean it up- he’s usually a tidy guy but laziness overpowers his will to clean - there’s a method to his madness - for example, his clothes aren’t in his closet but rather on a chair in his room but he’s meticulous about where the groceries and dishes go  

Eating habits and sample daily menu- he eats when he’s hungry - which is all the fucking time - he loves burgers and fries - will never admit how much he loves milkshakes

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time- he loves to go bowling with Dallas- and play pool. they’re both amazing at the game - if he’s not blowing off smoke with Soda, he’s messing around with Two-Bit and/or Dallas

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging - milkshakes - he doesn’t care about indulging. he works too damn hard to not treat himself well

Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?- he lives with Dick Randle - what do you think - Evie thinks he’s mentally ill but he doesn’t wanna hear it - “I already knows there’s something wrong with me” “Steve, that’s not what I said!” “but it’s what you meant, isn’t it?” - half the gang is traumatized by their parents’ actions can you guess which three

Intellectual pursuits?- he wanted to join the math club but didn’t cause the gang would never let him hear the end of it- could totally go to college but didn’t have the money - he’s insanely smart and would win the spelling bee or geography bee if he wasn’t so ashamed of being smart - he’s a genius. but he’s a greaser. those two things shouldn’t go together, as his father would tell him. so Steve’s always kept his intelligence a secret - teachers hate this though because he’ll get As on his homework and then randomly choose answers on the test and end up with a C

Favorite book genre?- he loves to read, surprise surprise - like Soda has almost caught him with a book at the DX a million times - like now, Steve just reads with the owner’s manual in front so it looks like he’s reading about cars - Soda’s like “hey buddy…what ya doin’? you know everything about cars, more than I do.”- he prefers non-fiction or really old stories - Mythology and lore are his favorites

Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?- a closeted bisexual - he doesn’t have a problem with anyone who doesn’t cause him harm so if someone’s gay and a decent human being, he’s fine with them

Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.) - his nose is chronically broken - he’s allergic to crying, jerks and bullshit

Biggest and smallest short term goal?- biggest: win a game of chess against Ponyboy because the cocky son of a bitch…- smallest: doing inventory. it’s so boring

Biggest and smallest long term goal?- biggest: own his own auto body shop. or marry Evie - smallest: get through high school. it’s easy but it’s taking forever. senior year sucks  

Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress- clad in denim 24/7- if he’s not in jeans, he’s not Steve Randle - he doesn’t mind his uniform. he wears it proudly because he’s paid to do what he loves

Favorite beverage?- we all know he loves beer - but he also loves coffee

What do they think about before falling asleep at night?- he thinks of Evie and of his mother. would they’ve gotten along? of course they would’ve. would Dad be a different man if Lily died and Mom lived? what would life be like with his sister? what would life be like with his mom? - the “what if"s torture him

Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?- if he got sick, his father wouldn’t take care of him - so he tried his damnedest to not get sick- he’d get colds on purpose cause he knew he could defeat them- but let’s say strep throats was going around school. he’d avoid everyone like the plague. he doesn’t have that kinda money to buy antibiotics

Turn-ons? Turn-offs?- turn ons: confidence, standing up for what you believe in, musicians, just Evelyn Green in general… - turn offs: nothing this horndog will find anything sexy

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?- he’d probably start doodling - or write a love letter to Evie because he loves her more than words can say. xxx ooo xxx

How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?- he’s actually very organized- he couldn’t stand a mess but he got used to messiness since Soda can’t keep anything in one place

Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?- he loves history - he’s amazing at math shh don’t tell anyone - and of course, English class

How do they see themselves 5 years from today?- at 17, he wants to be married to Evie by 25. she’s the love of his life - again, he wants to have his own auto body repair shop that he shares with Soda- he wants to be stable and away from his father. maybe even emancipated from his dad

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?- marry Evie - open up his own auto repair shop- have a family and be a good dad- be financially stable - die happy

What is their biggest regret?- after years of his father convincing him he killed his sister, he regrets that- as he gets older, he regrets not applying himself in school- he’s very smart and pays attention. he does his homework but never hands it in. he aces his tests but because he doesn’t do his homework, he averages out with a C

Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?- Soda is clearly his best friend- aside from him, I think Two is his other best friend - he’s his own worst enemy

Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)- if Evie is there, he gets her out - if a dog is there, he gets them out - if Ponyboy is there, he gets them out - basically, he makes sure that everyone is safe before he worries about himself

Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)- numbness and drinking to keep the numb feeling - he just loses it - angry and fighting - he can’t process his emotions

Most prized possession?- either his switchblade or his car

Thoughts on material possessions in general?- he’s not very religious so he doesn’t have that “why gain the whole world and lose your soul” mentality- he’d love to be rich. never have to worry about money or paying bills or anything - he isn’t a hoarder but he definitely has possessions he couldn’t live without and doesn’t see any harm in it

Concept of home and family? - if it weren’t for the gang and Mr. and Mrs. Curtis, he wouldn’t know what family is - Evie is where he feels at home

Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)- with Soda or Dallas or Two, he gives too much information - around people he doesn’t fully trust, he barely gives any information out at all

What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?- like Dallas, he loves to bowl and play pool- he considers homework a waste of time so he doesn’t do it - he doesn’t consider reading a waste of time, per se, but he loves it and won’t ever admit it

What makes them feel guilty?- thinking about his mother and sister- it’s my fault. I fucked up. I didn’t protect them. - his father is an evil, twisted man that can’t take responsibility and now Steve is more mentally fucked up than anyone could ever believe

Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?- he tries to be analytical, thinking of Soda, Evie and the rest of the gang - he doesn’t do anything too stupid because he doesn’t want to die - but sometimes he’s impulsive and does what he wants in the moment

Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality? - type a- he takes his work very seriously, whether it’s for school or auto body repairs - he’s an organized leader, when given the chance - feels and fights violently and aggressively  

What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?- sex- coffee - hot showers

Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?- well after a lifetime of being told he’s a murderer, Steve hates himself - but he also hates his father - he hates being oppressed by Socs and wants to fight back (and does)

How misanthropic are they? - he only truly hates his father and Socs

Hobbies?- aside from cars cause that isn’t all Steve does - he’s on the football team - he loves to go fishing and bowling with Dallas - badass at pool, taught by Dallas Winston himself - pulling pranks with Soda is the best - he’s a champ at beer pong

How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?- he loves going to school and he loves to learn. but he hates the peer pressure, he hates the stress and he hates the judgement - he’s learned a lot on his own and from his friends; he has to, he’s a greaser.

Religion?- introduced to Christianity by the Curtises - but after Mom and Dad 2 died, he’s been losing his faith - now he’s just angry at God and doesn’t know what to do- and when he reads the Old Testament, it seems like there isn’t a single thing he and God can agree on

Superstitions or views on the occult?- claims he’s not superstitious but totally is - except he picks and chooses which he follows and when it’s convenient - stays away from black cats but walks under ladders like it’s no big deal

Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?- deeds, for sure- when it comes to the people he loves, especially Evie, he can’t form a coherent sentence while making eye contact - so he writes what he truly means - and shows how he feels through actions

If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?- a hardworking, loving woman. he wants someone who’s earned what they have and they stand up for themselves. a woman who isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty or her voice heard. someone who isn’t too dependent or easily offended. a strong woman who’s been through some shit and is understanding- so Evelyn Rose Green

How do they express love?- aggressively and passionately - he’ll take Evie out on random dates, either it’s a romantic candle lit dinner at his place or just stare gazing in the back of his truck - he writes the most beautiful love letters - when he’s scared, he’ll try to act tougher. so when he senses danger, his grip on Evie’s hand gets tighter

If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?- he’s always fighting, let’s be honest - it’s the only way he’ll feel anything

- he’s an honest greaser and he fights fair- but he always wins - fighting gives him this kinda rush that just can’t be replaced - he’s stealthy and always makes sure that he knows the terrain and uses it to his advantage - he likes to get hyped up before a fight but not so that his senses are outta wack

Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not? - he’s only afraid of dying because he’s got people to take care of - but he also knows that getting into a serious fight could end fatally- so he’s smart with who he fights and who he keeps his mouth shut around

[seijuurouxryuu]

Tie Me Down (To You)

Title: Tie Me Down (To You) Author: Shiro (TeitoxAkashi [AO3]/ seijuurouxryuu [tumblr]) Rating: T Pairing: Reborn/ Hibari Kyouya/ Sawada Tsunayoshi Event: @khrrarepairweek Prompt: Mythology AU | Handcuffs Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warning Applied

Day 5: Rain Day

“… Are you suggesting a threesome, Hitman?”

“A threesome with feelings. Yep.” 

AO3

The last person Hibari expected to be cuffed to was Reborn. Definitely the hitman. He had somehow expected Mukuro, or perhaps Gokudera seeing how often they class but never Reborn. Not to mention the one who cuffed them together to was Sawada Tsunayoshi of all people.

“Until the two of you stopped disturbing me for one freaking second, I’ll uncuff you.”

The brunette hissed out before slamming the door to his room close.

Reborn seemed amused, but Hibari was more than ready to bite Tsuna to death when they got out. To be fair, it wasn’t Tsuna’s fault when the first thing he did was cuffing them together to the bed post.

Hibari had sneaked into the room, attempting a sneak attack on the brunette. Reborn, at the same time, was going to slap Tsuna awake just for the sake of it. The two of them somehow, in silence, managed to decide to do it together when Tsuna’s eyes snapped open and in matters of second, the two of them were cuffed together.

Using Hibari’s handcuffs.

With Tsuna’s flames as reinforcement that makes breaking out impossible.

“That herbivore..” Hibari hissed, gritting his teeth as he tugged the cuff futilely. Reborn had already slumped and relaxed on the bed, sighing. “It’s no use, Hibari. You know that.”

“Shut up.”

Reborn merely smirked at how pissed he was. It wasn’t until Hibari’s wrist were chaffed and red did he stop. Because yes, he knew it was a futile attempt and yes, he deserves it. He huffed, sulking on the bed beside Reborn, who seemed to be playing with Leon.

He would’ve forced Reborn to use Leon to break them out if not for the fact that the flames might injure the lizard. That was the last thing Hibari would want to do, because he didn’t want to endanger the chameleon and Reborn might kill him for that.

Not that Reborn could kill him.

“Tsuna has really grown, hasn’t he?” Reborn sounded proud.

“Hn.”

“Maybe I’d allow him to dominate me someday.” Hibari whirled around and gave Reborn an incredulous look. Reborn raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“You and that small animal are in a relationship? When?”

Reborn huffed. “Hell, no.” He paused, contemplating for a second before licking his lips that pulled into a smirk. “Well not yet.” Hibari twitched before looking away, huffing.

“That idiot is really dense, you see. I’ve been dropping major hints here and there and he still doesn’t get it.”

“I do not want to hear about this.”

“Oh come on.” Reborn rolled and leaned his head into his palm, staring at Hibari, amused. “Stop acting as though you don’t care. I know you want Tsuna as well.” Reborn hummed. “And I’m pretty sure Tsuna wants you as well.”

Reborn rolled away just an inch away when a Tonfa slammed into the spot he was on before. Hibari snarled. Reborn laughed at that before rolling back when Hibari took back his Tonfa. He looked at Hibari with heat in his eyes, smirking seductively.

“And I know I want you as well.”

“… Are you suggesting a threesome, Hitman?”

Reborn hummed. “A threesome with feelings. Yep.” Before Hibari could even hiss or hit him again, he continued. “Just consider it. The three of us together, isn’t that sweet?”

“Unless you don’t want to, then I won’t force.” Reborn added. Getting into a relationship with one person would perhaps be already pushing the skylark, but with two? Reborn didn’t know if he would feel suffocated or not. He might not, but Reborn didn’t know.

Polyamorous relationship needs consent and stuff from all party after all.

He knew Tsuna would take it up, since he had came out to Reborn before that he felt attracted to more than one person. (He had tried to force the brunette to tell him who they were but man, Tsuna was really tight lipped. He was more than proud for that fact.) Reborn himself was the same. He didn’t mind having more than one person in a relationship, but he’s really picky.

“… Talk to the small animal first.”

Reborn rolled his eyes. “Of course we will, but what about you? I know Tsuna would be a yes to you, but me?”

“…” Hibari turned to look at him in the eyes. He swooped down and stole a kiss from Reborn, who kissed back at the last second before he pulled away. Reborn smiled, licking his lips. He reached up and tugged Hibari down by the neck and kissed him again, hard and deep. It was only when the skylark bite down on his lips did they broke apart, but it was a good two minutes later.

“Delicious.” Reborn hummed, licking his bleeding lips. Hibari scoffed before he rolled himself until he straddled Reborn’s waist, hands on each side of the hitman’s head, the cuff clicking against the bed post.

He smirked with all teeth, eyes as heated as Reborn’s. He bent down and kissed him again, dominating it as Reborn let him, all noises swallowed by each other. Reborn’s free hand felt around, caressing each curve and edges before he slipped his hand into his shirt, feeling the soft skin.

Hibari seemed to purr at the warm, breaking the kiss. He trailed his kiss on the man’s sharp jaws, going lower until he was at the other’s collarbone. Reborn was kissing and licking his neck as well. Hibari hummed before he opened his mouth to bite.

Just before he did, however, the door opened.

The two of them turned to see Tsuna looking at them in disbelief. “Wha- Really? On my bed?”

They exchanged a look before they smirked. “You’re the one who cuffed us to your bed.” Reborn drawled.

Tsuna groaned before he moved closer. “Fine. Just- just get out of my room if you guys w-want to do that.” He grew red at the last sentence as he freed the both of them. Reborn sat up, causing Hibari to slid down onto his lap while the two of them rubbed their wrist.

They looked at each other one last time before grabbing Tsuna. The brunette yelped as he was pulled down onto the bed and was immediately pinned in between Hibari and Reborn.

Reborn had wound his arms around Tsuna’s waist while Hibari stayed on top of the both of them. “W-w-w-what are you guys doing?!”

"Hey, date us." Tsuna flushed red at that. "W-what?!" He squeaked, causing Reborn to pinch his side. Hibari hummed at how straightforward Reborn was before he leaned down, stopping near Tsuna's face and stared into his brown-orange eyes. "Push us away, if you don't want this."

The brunette knew he could, and he did, because he couldn't properly have a talk with them if they were to keep holding him down like that and possibly giving him a heart attack. He panted, sat on his bed a safe distant away from the two men. They looked slightly dejected, thinking that it was a negative answer when Tsuna sighed loudly, rubbing his face.

He crossed his legs under him and gave them a stern look. "We're going to properly talk about this, so sit." They did, sitting on the bed in some sort of circle. Tsuna was particularly scary whenever he was like this. Probably because they had pushed it far too much that he snapped a little. (Not to mention the stress he has for dealing with the other guardians and enemies.)

"So tell me, what's going on?"

"As he had said." Tsuna raised an eyebrow at Hibari who had an urge to either smack it off or kiss him. He settled with a huff instead. "We're proposing a three-way relationship."

"..." Tsuna looked a bit lost, growing redder each second as he took in what Hibari had said, gaping like a goldfish before he forced his mouth to shut properly. ".. B-but why?" He managed to choke out.

Reborn would shook his head and sigh at that, but it wasn't the time. He needed the brunette to understand. "We both want you, Tsuna. Not a benefit thing, but more of a," He waved his hand slightly at that. "Heart thing."

".. Heart thing." Tsuna deadpanned. Reborn scrunched his nose up as Hibari snorted. "You know what I meant."

"... So you're saying that you both like me and- and want to get into a romantic relationship with me? Of all people?" The two black haired men gave him a confused look before he continued, losing his composure slightly. "I- I'm no one special. I'm plain and boring. N-not to mention I'm-"

Before Tsuna could even continue further, Hibari hissed at him. "Stop degrading yourself, small animal."

"He's right, Tsuna. Sure, you are plain compared to some, but you're interesting. You're special, the most beautiful in our eyes, and more importantly, you're honest, genuine." Reborn looked into Tsuna's eyes, all seriousness in those dark orbs. "We love you, and we want you."

"But.. Why?" 'Why would you guys love someone like me?'

"Do we need a reason to love you?" The two said in unison, surprising Tsuna.

The brunette flushed red and ducked his head to hide his face. "W-what about the both of you? D-do you guys love each other?"

Hibari and Reborn paused and looked at each other. "We're still working on that." Hibari grunted. "Though, the attraction we have towards each other isn't something simple." Reborn hummed.

Tsuna pursed his lips, contemplating it for a moment before he looked up. "O-okay."

Reborn smirked. "See, I told you he would say yes." Tsuna gaped while Hibari rolled his eyes." Childish."

"W-wait what?"

"Well we know you'd say yes because you love us too, don't you?" The hitman sing-sang. "H-h-how?!"

"You aren't exactly that good at hiding it as you think, Tsuna." Tsuna blushed and groaned, hiding his face in his palms as he fell onto the bed. "Oh my god----"

Reborn laughed while Hibari chuckled at that. The two of them fell onto the bed as well, lying side by side. Reborn reached out and grabbed a hand, pulling it away gently. Hibari grabbed their intertwined hands, all too gentle. Tsuna huffed. "You guys are going to be the death of me someday."

"And we'll die together with you."

Tsuna flushed again at that, but he was smiling. ".. Love you guys." He whispered. They heard what he had said and smiled, squeezing each others hands. "Love you too."

A/N= I love Badass Tsuna. I think the pace of the story went like-- steady then pitch down fast then slowed and then dropped down to hell. I don't even know how that happened.

Tsuna has a crush on both Hibari and Reborn haHAHA--

Reborn you lil' thirsty shit- Jk I love you. I totally see him as someone who would wax poetic about his lover lol.

Hibari was just, so nonchalant. I kid you not he would've given up on Tsuna when he knew Reborn was aiming for him because- yeah.

[I apologize for any grammar, spelling, etc. etc. mistakes]

[amateurteacher]

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A QUEER IN...?

First, a confession: It’s 22:49 in my country and I feel like my body is doing everything it can to separate itself from whatever's inside me. My skin doesn't feel like a skin and it seems like the air is solid under my fingers as I type these words. In the middle of this anxiety attack I remember that tomorrow I have to get up early for my class. I am 21 years old and the youngest professor at the university where I work. That means I still don't know how to handle the fact that my students of tomorrow think that one of the bloodiest massacres in Colombia's history is the fault of the victims because "they should have foreseen it". The college where I work is the most expensive college in the city, which means that many of its students are children of the privilege. Every time they express these violent expressions I can't avoid to see rocks in their hands and feel that if they could know I was a lesbian they would not hesitate to throw them at me, because, in most contexts, the privilege is misogynistic and markedly homophobic. My parents and my sister are sleeping. This silence is not very different from the silence that I usually feel when I am around them and I cannot show myself totally. More than anyone, I'd like to talk to something, and I feel like this blue page is the closest scenario I have to that conversation.

I graduated from literature at my university and I would like to share with you (the something invisible but real, the something timelessly present, the something unknown that takes time to read to another unknown, the something that is something because you cannot be someone when you are all at the same time) how some of the knowledge I learned during that period influenced my reflections on three of my favorite shows: Carmilla, Wynona Earp and Orphan Black. I would love to show you the thre ready-made reflections, but for now I will write my thoughts around Carmilla for as long as I need to take up my usual breathing and be able to sleep more peacefully.

I probably write this for myself but I still hope to find an echo in others "desvelados", which is a rare construction in Spanish that means “the one who lost sleep or can't fall asleep”, or in any fan, who like me, has found company in the stories of these series.

A METHOD OF ANALYSIS

Summarizing the whole theory, my method of literary approach is based on the works of Georg Lukács, Jacques Ranciere and studies on polyphony of Mikhail Bakhtin, from which a conception of literature is derived: literature is NEVER a reflection of reality, but a refraction of voices (many voices) of society (more a painting than a photo). Literature (and perhaps it would be good to already speak in terms of narratives) works in terms of representation. Therefore, I would not agree to use a book as a historical document, but certainly a book would reinterpret the voices of a historical moment in order to, according to the ideological positions of the author, create a version of it. The characteristic of this position is that it does not consider that the key to reading a text is in aesthetics as an artifice, as a manifestation of a style, but that all aesthetics are charged with an ethic (the author writes in a way because only in that way can he express his political bets).

All of the above is reduced to three levels of analysis. In my words:

-"Outside the book", which implies that to understand a book you must know everything about the author's writing context (why could this book only have been written at the time it was written?), the historical context in which the narration takes place, and the current literary situation in terms of literary movements and debates.

-"Inside the book", and I hope you don't misunderstand me, this is very important because we do literature, not sociology. This is the moment to put into practice all the critical tools related to time, characters, repeated thematic points: the architecture with which the story was constructed. The style of the book.

-A new one outside the book? Let's say "Above the book": this is the most interesting moment of the reflection where we try to construct the universe of values that allows the union of the two previous levels. Basically, what was the resulting image of reality, once we put together the pieces of the puzzle that the book proposes

You're probably bored. I think the only way I can explain myself is to "teach a lesson", but this is actually just as exciting for me as a last-minute goal, and I'm starting to feel better. All right, let's see how it goes when I analyze Carmilla.

CARMILLA AND THE UNIVERSAL LOVE

To give a quick example of what the first two levels of analysis would be like, because I want to focus on the last one, the "outside of Carmilla" could refer to a context of the need for good queer representation in the media and, to give a very specific example, a knowledge of how universities work in terms of fraternities (an element that, by the way, is not common in Latin America) The “inside of Carmilla” (and only referring to the digital series and not to the beautiful film) has an obvious aesthetic element that is marked by the presentation of the story from a "webcam" ,that is to say the story in a constant confession mode (usually from Laura- I take the moment to say that Elise Bauman  and Natasha Negovanlis are such a gift) and in a single setting (the room-the living room-the library).

So let's move on to "above Carmilla". I won't lie. When I approach a new series I usually do it for its queer representation. It still surprises me, moves me, makes me nervous, all at the same time, to see two women kissing on television. It is a constant reminder of validity.  I don't think there's anything wrong with this. But what makes me love a series is that, along with the fangirl that I can develop through a relationship, there is a space for deep reflection on who we are as people.

In Carmilla there are many reflections on this subject. In the first season the questions could be presented as: Is it worth fighting for what we think is right even when all the odds are against us? Should we resign ourselves to the fact that there is a natural world order that is stronger and more powerful than our vain attempts? In the second season the questions revolve around power: can we sacrifice everything around us in order to defend what we believe? Who determines that my cause is the noblest cause? Can I judge the actions of others based on my own scale of values? In the third season this exercise that I have been doing (to separate the reflections linked to love from the other reflections) is more difficult, because if one of the reflections of the second season around love, which I have not intentionally mentioned is should I change what I am for love?, in this last season the question is relativized and expressed as what is it that love causes in people, and when it comes to the issue of loss (Laura in the other dimension, death) how do I survive a lack of love, or why do I have to overcome my fears first to love? (I don't think it's a coincidence that this is the season for the beautiful Hollstein statement, interrupted by the Dean's applause)

Let's move away from all these reflections and focus only on the love between Laura and Carmilla. How do you unite the inside and the outside?

There are two consequences that I find in the presentation from the webcam: first, the world is reduced to the micro-world of, once again, Laura's room, the dean's former apartment and the library. This implies that an implicit pact is created with the characters. We must believe the story they tell us. The world is their world. It is a series without tricks in that sense, and very transparent. Everything that happens outside is only important because of its consequences inside. That is, the work is already "simplified" and what we can see is how what happens outside (the action) changes the characters (the reflection). That is, first conclusion, reality is only important for the kind of person it makes us be.

The second consequence is that as we can only see the immediate context of the characters, there are few characters. However, and to ensure the coherence of the story (that is, to convince us that a true story is being told) these characters were as varied as the outside world can be, and in that sense, and as I explained earlier that these characters are our only contact with the outside world, each of them would be an archetype. Laura is not just Laura, she is the archetype of people who have hope in changing their reality; Carmilla is not just Carmilla, she is the archetype of people excluded from history (because Carmilla's great debate is always in relation to history: should I let it all happen because in the end what happens won't have consequences for my immortal self? Can I overcome my past or will I remember it for all eternity) And… as the only romantic love story (couple love if you want to see it that way) we see in the series is the relationship between Laura and Carmilla, that relationship then comes to be built on an archetype of love. Wait, you mean the relationship between a young girl and a vampire is an archetype of love?!, but how can love between two specific personalities be a model of love?! Well, let's analyze how the series naturalizes love between them as love and period, and not as an expression of love between two women or love between a human and a mythological figure.

The explanation is very simple: the series does not problematize the fact that, for example, Laura is a lesbian, nor that Carmilla is a vampire (the two elements that could characterize this relationship as an "atypical" relationship). In the first case, and this was one of the elements that attracted the fandom from the beginning, we do not have a "coming out" in the series, and in fact, Laura's or Carmilla's sexuality is never a topic, it is not an element that the plot focuses on. It's just like that. It exists. It happens.

Likewise, the characters quickly get used to the existence of the supernatural in the story (except for Perry, and perhaps on another long night we could talk about his case. I mean, is the most reluctant of the situation possessed by a vampire goddess? That should be an important detail) This circumstance, which sometimes surpasses the absurd, does not create an “unreal-fake world”. Why? Because when Laura questioned the reasons why the world "was like this", and when all the characters questioned the same thing, they did not question why the world has vampires, or giant fishes or many dimensions. They questioned why evil or power or corruption exists. That's the world they want to change. It’s that "the weird", "the perverse", the "abnormal” about their lives.

I consider then that the purpose of the series is to analyze love through love between two women. That we forget and that we remember at the same time that they are two women. The love between Laura and Carmilla is a universal love, as an archetype, because it is presented as an expression of the standard and regular love that can be felt. And this, the basic claim to which all non-heterosexual people aspire, is achieved in the series thanks to all these strategies that I hope I have explained.

It's 12:47 pm. It's officially June, the month of pride. I think I should get some rest soon, because I really should get up early. I'm not anxious anymore, but I feel numb. I just want to make one last comment: is the love between Laura and Carmilla an example of perfect love because it is the official representation of love in the series? NO. Not at all. And this is the beauty of it all. We can learn from love through them: their difficulties, their celebrations, their lessons. What makes really transgressor the love between them to my eyes is not the fact of being a queer love but the fact that they decide, in the end, that their love will make them better, and that they will not destroy all if one of them dies. This is the Hollstein revolution. To break all the violent ideas associated with romantic heterosexual love, as an archetype in itself: possessive love, love that cannot be forgotten, love of “if you are not for me you are not for anyone”, “if I failed in love, we must all fail”. I'm not saying that all heterosexual love is like that. I'm talking about the patriarchy's versions of love (another night of explanations). Wow, my conclusion seems to be that Hollstein is, above all, a feminist love. I think I will end this conclusion like this. Nothing could be better than this.

Well, this is my literary reading of Carmilla. I am not an expert on this subject, nor do I want to present my version as the only one, much less the best. I was just looking for an outlet to unite my passions: literature + being a lesbian.  I don't know if anyone will read this or if anyone will find it interesting enough to continue the conversation. I just want to thank my Tumblr companies, with whom I have rarely spoken but who are with me now and always in this “struggle for being” in the day to day. This is my way of thanking you for your selfies, your gifs, your jokes, your criticisms of violence. I'm just getting started. I hope to publish my thoughts on Wayhaught and Cophine soon. I hope to sleep.

Feliz junio, my darlings.

PD:

-Sorry if I have grammatical or spelling mistakes. English is not my native language.

- As you can see I am using queer as a spectrum and not as a specific identity. I hope this isn't vague or offensive.

 Karla.

@natvanlis

[lalka-laski]

Can you recommend any Neil Gaiman to me, aside from Stardust or Good Omens? The only book I’ve read of his was “The Ocean at the End of the Lane.” It was good, just not really my scene. 

What’s the best concert you’ve been to, if you’ve been? The Killers, hands down. 

Is there an animal you like that most people don’t? I kinda like spiders and most people are terrified of them. Which makes me the designated spider-catcher whenever one’s nearby. (I never kill them. Just relocate them!)

Is there an animal that you think is overrated in terms of how it’s liked? Dogs 

Do you find yourself listening to music that’s a bit more esoteric? I guess sometimes. But a great deal of what I listen to could be considered “mainstream.” 

What are your three favorite books and why? This is an impossible question! So I’ll respond with the 3 best books I’ve read *lately* Water for Elephants, This Close to Okay, What Comes After (I’m still in the middle of it but I sense it’ll become a fave!) 

What about authors? Anita Shreve, Taylor Jenkins Reid, Patti Callahan Henry Do you have any likes you wouldn’t tell someone until you got to know them? I have some ~guilty pleasures~ but I’m not so ashamed of them that I’d keep them secret. 

Do you have a favorite language? Polish

What about a place you’ve always wanted to visit? Poland, Northern Ireland, Iceland

Do goldfish crackers ever make you sick, or is that just me? Nah I enjoy them.

Do you have a favorite art style? I’m not familiar enough with art technique/history. 

Do you have a favorite myth/fairy-tale? Sleeping Beauty, of course! 

Who is your favorite person aside from family? Glenn 

Do any of your pets (if you have them) have weird quirks? I don’t have pets. And probably won’t ever. 

Do you listen to music from anywhere besides America? How boring would my life be if I limited myself to only music from America (or any single country for that matter). 

Have you ever “quit” a site and came back to it more than once? Facebook a couple times

Do you have an “odd” fascination with anything?  I’m sure there are several things but of course I can’t think of any at the moment What is the thing you want most at this moment? I guess I’d prefer not to be at work but it’s really not so bad. 

What was the last book you read and what was it about? I’m currently reading What Comes After about the aftermath of the deaths of two teenage boys 

What was the worst book you’ve ever read & why? There have been several I’ve started and couldn’t bear to finish. 

Do you have a favorite breed of dog or cat? Which? Nah I’m not much of a dog OR cat person. 

If you like any anime/manga, what are some titles you recommend? I don’t watch it but Glenn’s a huge fan and could rattle of a looooong list if you were interested

What’s the hardest thing you’ve been through, & what did you learn from it? I think it’s kinda of weird to rank my painful experiences like that. I’ve felt pain in different ways at different points of my life. 

What are three “unrealistic” things you want most? My dream body, my dream house, my dream career

What are some of your favorite foods? Pizza, falafel, popcorn, chips & dips (I’m a snacker for sure) 

Where do you like to buy your clothes? Lately I’ve just been buying bullshit on Amazon (and then getting disappointed when the quality & fit are terrible). But my favorite stores are Windsor & Express. 

Do you take any daily vitamins? Magnesium & B12

Who are three of your favorite fictional characters of all time? Elle Woods, Lizzie McGuire, Mr. Gellar from Friends 

If you had to give the world a pre-existing mythological/fictional being, what would it be? Mermaids. Just because they’d be cool as hell. 

When buying Slurpees, if you do, do you get only one flavor or mix them? I haven’t had a slurpee since I was a kid, but IIRC I liked Blue Raspberry. 

Do you have a favorite 7Eleven food? We don’t have many 7Elevens around me but I will admit I love me some gas station/convenience store food.

Do you have any desire to learn (a) foreign language(s)? Which? Polish, because I want to speak the language of my ancestors. And because I just think it’s beautiful.

If you could have any career, “realistic”-ness aside, what would it be? Published author or maybe a content creator for a lifestyle blog/magazine. 

What are three memorable movies from your childhood? Sleeping Beauty, of course. Toy Story, Monster’s Inc 

Do you, personally, put a space after ellipses, or not? Nope

Micky D’s sweet tea, y/n/other? Not a fan of sweet tea, period. 

What are three of your best (non-physical) qualities? Friendliness, empathy, creativity. 

What are three of your worst (again; non-physical) qualities? Anxiousness, hyper-sensitivity, impulsiveness 

What is one of your firmest beliefs? Moe’s is FAR superior to Chipotle in every conceivable way. 

Do you ever question things until you’re unsure of even the silliest thing? Yeah, overthinking is my superpower. 

Do you have anything that keeps you from doing something you’d truly enjoy? ~ANXIETY~ What are your three biggest pet peeves (personality-wise) in others? Arrogance, close-mindedness are the top of my list. I also can’t STAND conversation hogging. 

Do you work to fix your faults? Or at least, admit to them? I could work on them MORE... but yes I always own up to them. 

What are three of your best physical qualities? (NOT EYES!) Collarbones, nose, the shape of my lips 

What are some of your greatest aspirations? Write a book, have a family 

How do you hope the world will change, if at all? That’s just too heavy of a question. I’m just here to chill! 

What are three things that make you the happiest? My loved ones, my babies, good food! 

What is/are your view(s) on god, religion, spirituality, or relations to? I don’t subscribe to any fixed set of beliefs but I could be considered spiritual. 

Are you arachnophobic or scared of spiders in the least? No, I actually think they’re kinda cool. 

Do you play WoW? What do you think of it either way? Nope.

What kind of computer do you have? Windows 7/Vista/XP/Other? I’m at work and currently on a Dell. At home I have a Chromebook. 

What are you good at? Writing, worrying... 

What career do you hope to have? Writer

Are you taking any interesting classes in school/do you not attend? I’m done with school (for now)

If you don’t attend, are you taking any “lessons” for anything No, although there have been several creative writing courses and workshops I’ve had my eye on. I really should register for one.  A book/piece that has had an exceptional impact on your life? For Women who are Difficult to Love by Warsan Shire

If you know of pandora.com, what is your favorite station? I only listen to Pandora at work and the office usually has “Brunch Cafe Radio” on which plays a lot of coffehouse style singer/songwriters. I dig it! Have you ever “lost” a friend in any way? How did you deal? Of course I have. Friend “breakups” can be just as painful and life-altering as romantic ones and I wish that was discussed more.

Any music recommendations? I’m actually on the hunt for some new music so if anyone has reccs for ME... that’d be cool.

What are at least three of your biggest fears? Losing my loved ones, death, birds (:

Most recently read book that you liked? The last book I read in full was Jessica Simpson’s memoir Open Book. And it was surprisingly delightful & touching. 

Do you have a piece of jewelry you don’t like to take off? My claddagh ring & of course, my engagement ring.

Do you have a favorite quote? Why is it your favorite? Too many to list Any odd pastimes you have? I like reading the inmate profiles on Writeaprisoner.com, then googling the inmate’s names to find out what crime(s) they committed. 

Are you quirky in any way? (Name them please). I have some OCD tendencies that could be considered peculiar. Oh, I also hate wearing shoes or socks & prefer to be barefoot whenever possible. 

Political standing? Filthy liberal 

Do you have any piercings/what do you think about piercings? I have none as I just don’t think they suit me. But they look great on other people. 

Do you have a favorite material? Not really? 

What are three names you’d name a pet if you HAD to get a pet right now? Brixton, named for David Bowie’s hometown. 

Do you like to listen to dorky/amusing music? What’s considered dorky and/or amusing? 

Coffee vs. Tea vs. Energy Drinks: Order from favorite to least favorite. Coffee & tea are probably tied. And energy drinks are dead last. I avoid them. 

Do you like more “fruity” sweets or “savory” sweets? What the fuck is a savory sweet?

What do you hate the most? My anxiety 

What genres of music are your favorite? Most of my faves could be classified as alternative/soft-rock 

Do you believe in true love? Absolutely 

What are some of your favorite clothing accessories? I’m not big on accessories. I love sunglasses, though. 

If reincarnation exists, what sort of person would you want to be next? Someone born into wealth  What are some things you believe strongly in? Love, forgiveness, second chances 

Where’s your favorite place you’ve been? My family’s cottage in Canada 

What sort of books and movies do you like? Book-wise I love a good family drama or tragedy. And the occasional cutesy love story. As for movies, I want all rom-coms all day.

What’s your favorite thing to do on a rainy Saturday? Read, write, maybe marathon a show, cook something yummy in the crockpot...

Is there a book you’ve read that really touched you? Have you MET me?

PC or MAC? PC 

What do you love doing? Reading, writing, spending time with loved ones, crafting, cooking, going out to eat, watching live music

If you could create the perfect world for yourself, what would it be? All my loved ones would be present, we’d have NO financial burdens, good health, plenty of free time to devote to our hobbies & passions

Do you think that fate plays a part in people’s lives? Somewhat, yeah. But action > everything.

Are you religious, spiritual, atheist…? Spiritual

Do you think that people throw the words “love” and “hate” around too much? Eh, maybe. But I’m a deeply emotional person so although I may say I love and hate things frequently, I mean it sincerely every time.

What is your favorite piece of technology that you own? My phone, no doubt. It’s glued to my hand. 

What’s a piece of technology you’d like to own? I’m not a real techhy person so I don’t need much besides what I already have. 

Are you afraid of technology developing to where we’re too reliant on it? We’re past that point my dude. 

Does it bother you when people do things to fit in with a certain crowd? Yeah, but I can’t say I don’t do the same

Hot or cold? I’d much rather be cold. I am MISERABLE when hot & sweaty.  Do you think that Bzoink should extent the character amount for questions? What the hell is Bzoink

Do you have a favorite combination of complimentary colors? Pastel pink & pastel, dusty blue. (These are my dream wedding colors) 

What’s your favorite odd ice cream flavor? I love any kind of oatmeal/oat filled ice cream & people seem to find that weird?

Where do you like to get your ice cream? Moonlight Creamery holds a special place in my heart because that’s where I got engaged! And besides that, they really do have some of the best tasting ice cream I’ve ever had. 

What’s your opinion on stereotypes/labels? As humans it’s natural for us to categorized people based on past experiences. Is it always accurate? Of course not. But we all do it.

Do you believe that history repeats itself? Mhmmmmm 

Would you rather learn from your mistakes or just undo them? Wouldn’t it be nice to just undo them? And since I’m not great at learning from mine... 

What was the most interesting class you had in school? Any creative writing class, of course. Also my Kenyan Literature class was FASCINATING.  Do you write? If so, what? Yes. Mostly personal essays, some poetry & short stories

Do you have a favorite website? Facebook & Twitter are my go-tos. And Reddit when I can’t sleep.

Do you think that the quality of TV shows is going down? I’m not much of a TV watcher so I can’t comment. 

Do you have a favorite culture? Thar’s a borderline creepy question....  What was a story you heard as a child that really affected you? Any kind of ghost story or vaguely paranormal story fucked me up BAD

Who was your favorite grade-school teacher and why? My 5th grade teacher was a doll, so perhaps her. 

Do you think that the world will end? How? Can we NOT

Do you believe in Global Warming? Have you researched it? It’s not up for debate 

Do you prefer piercings or tattoos? I have one tattoo and zero piercings so I guess I’m on team tattoo 

Do you remember your dreams? Almost always