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mostlydaydreaming · 2 years ago

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So, under that great French doc about Gene on YouTube (that's now in English-hurray) I commented about Gene being a wonderful man and was immediately contradicted by some moron named MissGelly who wanted me to know that he was a bully, hated by all his co-stars. Well, needless to say, I pinned her ears back and wondered if you wanted to add a few salient points, too. I forgot a few things: I didn't tell her Michael Crawford says he owes his fabulous career to Gene Kelly or mention what Patricia Wilson had to say about working with the Hollywood legend in "Take Me Along." Also forgot about his dance assistants, Coyne and Haney, being totally loyal to GK. Indeed, one of them was head over heels in love with him. I don't know why some people insist on spreading this nonsense; I suspect it's because he's very sexy and his choreography is sensual. Sexy is not in vogue these days and always suspect. Some seem intent on making him the face of Classic Hollywood's Me Too. As you know, nothing could be further from the truth. In a world of Bob Fosses, be a Gene Kelly. Cheers!

Ah, the whole purpose of my Mostlydaydreaming Tumblr & YouTube channel. When I discovered Gene Kelly (thru YouTube videos!) I loved him🥰 When I started trying to learn more, there’s a top layer of nothing but Debbie Reynolds quotes and a Cyd Charisse quote taken out of context.

When I dug deeper I found a wonderfully complex man with a huge heart. Faults and weaknesses? Of course, everyone has them. He had a white hot drive to succeed, to prove himself and leave his mark on the world. But he was also an honorable, loyal and loving family man. Yeah he could be hard to work with, but I knew he was more than that. I wanted to defend him.

That’s why I’ve posted interviews from other people who had a completely different view of him: Leslie Caron, Mitzi Gaynor, Cindy Williams, Michael Crawford, Rita Hayworth, Paula Abdul, Betty Garrett, Vera Ellen, etc. etc. etc.

I’ve tried to deal with haters before.

I remember posting a long answer, with links to interviews, articles, videos, trying to show them a different point of view. But all I got was a short smart ass answer that infuriated me, leading to me block them and take down my GK rant. I’m not getting baited again. You did ok. Offer things for them to check out, like YT interviews, and move on. You can lead a horse to water…🤷🏻‍♀️

All most people do is google him and read the first few pages of the same Debbie Reynolds stories and the same negative (usually incomplete) anecdotes:

Debbie’s horrible “french kiss” from Gene. First, this was likely a misunderstanding. It was on camera, it’s not like he trapped her in a dressing room. No other co-star ever claimed that Gene was sexually inappropriate in any way. This kiss was in the final scene. The rest of the kisses in the movie were chaste and he likely wanted a big kiss for the finale, like he had in a few of his other movies. He knew she had practiced screen kissing with another actor, like Judy Garland had done with him for his first movie. He probably didn’t think she would freak out like she did.

Debbie’s bleeding feet & Fred Astaire teaching her how to dance. First bleeding feet is nothing new to dancers. Ginger Rodgers danced with Fred Astaire with bleeding feet but you didn’t hear her bitch about it. Second, Fred Astaire didn’t teach her how to dance (I see this reported a lot). He let her watch him rehearse, which he normally didn’t do. He did it so she could see how much work dancing was, even for him. She watched him get frustrated and even throw his cane. All so she would know, if this is what she wanted to do, this was how much work it was going to take.

Cyd Charisse’s comment about how her husband knew who she danced with because if she danced with Gene she’d be black & blue. No she wasn’t implying Gene beat her! Gene was more physical than Fred with lifts and such, that’s all. They always forget her other comment when people tried to get her preference between the two: They were like apples & oranges, they were both delicious😘

The competitive dinner parties. I’m sorry, it was Gene’s house and he could put on any kind of party he wanted. He liked informality (He and Betsy knew when strangers came because they were the only ones who knocked) He liked sports and competitions. If you don’t like that stuff, don’t go!!! The people who complained most weren’t even real friends of Gene & Betsy at all, but people who tried to use them and their parties to get close to other influential people.

He only wanted young women. Again, most people only look at the surface on this one. Yes, his 1st wife Betsy was 17 when he married her and even younger than that when they started dating. But his girlfriend before her was in her early 20s. (Per articles I’ve found, they were either engaged or very near).

When Betsy left him, she was in her 30s (he in his 40s) and by all accounts, he didn’t want a divorce. If he wanted a younger one, it was the perfect time. But 2nd wife Jeannie was also in her 30s while he was in his 40s. No robbing the cradle there. After Jeannie died, in the late 70s and early 80s he dated women like older actress Jean Simmons and Tony Bennett’s separated ex, Sandra. Not excessively young. As for his 3rd wife, she did have what all his wives had, intelligence. They both loved words and literature. We may question her motives but Gene didn’t pick dumb bimbos. But to say he only wanted much younger women wasn’t true.

And he didn’t just seek young women to take advantage of them. Betsy loved telling the story of how when they dated and she tried to push for more than hugs and kisses, he reminded her that she was still too young for all that.

My GK rant is done🥵 I admire you’re enthusiasm but I don’t feed trolls anymore.

#gene kelly #ask box #I know she’d probably just piss me off #if she really wants to know more - it’s out there - but she probably prefers her bubble #to people like her everything is black and white - no greys - no complexity #btw #I like Debbie but her Gene stories became part of her schtick - her stories to get a laugh between songs #he didn’t reciprocate I’m sure he had a few Debbie stories he could have shared

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katiemparks · 2 years ago

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Letters I'll Never Send

Dear The Boy,

I don't know why but for years you have been an invisible passenger in my head. I say passenger because most of the time you show up is when I am driving around our home town (which we both still live in) alone listening to songs that somehow remind me of you even when I don't want them to.

I don't know why you're still here. I know i've thought about you a lot over the years and the thought of you and the talking through things with imaginary you has helped me learn a lot. Like... you triggered something dark in me. I though it was all your fault but the truth is that the darkness had always been there, but you made me feel so much, so deeply, that it brought it all to the surface. I know that now. I know it's not really your fault that I was crying every night, even though it was over you, I know you're not at fault for the self harm I inflicted upon myself all those years in high school.

I can see now after all these years removed that you were fighting that same darkness. I can see why you were hurtful to me sometimes. I can see now you probably thought you were saving me when you told me we could no longer be friends and to forget about you on graduation day. I can see your side but can you see mine?

Did you ever notice just how in love with you I was? Did you ever notice that you broke my heart more than once. You broke my heart so thoroughly when you said that on graduation day, right before the ceremony, in that music room, which was my safe place, in that soft voice. I didn't realize what had happened until it was over and you were gone. I had told myself I wouldn't cry over you again. I still did after that moment. I was happy. I was in a good, healthy relationship with the man I would eventually marry and love more deeply than I could have known in that moment. I had told myself that we were never meant to have that kind of relationship and that I was learning so much about life because of you even in that weird almost a thing but never a thing situationship we had. All of that is true.

I learned a lot about life, love, loss, relationships, myself, and more through those years and experiences you put me through. I don't regret them. I wouldn't take them back. Did it hurt? Like hell. Would I willingly bring that pain back into my life. Hell no. Would I do it again if I was magically transported back into my younger self with my memories still intact? Probably a bit differently, but yeah I'd live through it again. It made me who I am and I like who I am. It started me down a path that lead to the life I have now and I like the life I have now. I met my husband and true love of my life because my friend was worried about me, because of you, and got me away from you for a day and I met someone new and made a friend that has never broken my heart and has been a constant supportive love for me from that day on.

So, I wanted to say thank you for being a part of my life. Some parts of me still wish you were willing to be my friend. I want to show you I care. I want to show you that I still have a love for you that means I will always hope for the best for you. I want you to know that yes you broke me and my heart but I am ok now. I forgive you.

I think that is why you are my invisible passenger. This is a way I can show you i'm doing ok. The damage wasn't so severe that I can't move on. I'm not stuck in the past. I'm not stuck in the pain. This is a way I can safely show you my concern. This is a way I can safely show you my platonic love. This is a way we can coexist together as friends.

However, I do think it is time for you to move out. That moment we shared at our class reunion wasn't much. Just silently looking at each other for a few uninterrupted seconds. However, It helped me see that we had both moved on and this was the new normal. You've become somebody that I used to be friends with. You've slid all the way into that territory. I didn't fully accept that fact even though I was at peace with it. Now it is time.

This is a farewell to the invisible passenger. I want to move you out of my head to the state of being some guy I may write to when I feel like it.

Farewell Trevor. I am saying goodbye because it is time to move on and grow up. It is time to let the teenage moments that have long since healed move on so I can find my adult form. I've healed the inner child, I've healed my inner teenager. I want to step into the rest of my life as an adult.

Saying goodby makes me nervous. I worry that the moment I leave you alone you will fade from me forever, you tried that once already in the real world and it scared the crap out of me. Not the time you left me at graduation... the time you tried to leave the earth permanently and luckily your mother found you. I worry you will go through life thinking I hate you. I don't.

I remember a time when we were still close, maybe a bit too close. we were outside at a social gathering and talking about shooting stars. I had never seen one, you had seen loads that summer. We were laying on the ground hoping to see one. I was so happy in that moment. I felt a true connection and deep love for you. You were describing all the times you had seen these wonderful stars and I just listened. I loved the fact that most of all you would talk to me about something you loved. I loved that you listened to me. All those times in class when we should have been working but weren't because we were sitting across from each other and just wanted to talk. Those times we almost went deaf sitting in from of the drum set in the band section at football games and just creating nonsense conversations. I do not remember what we talked about other than Dr. Pepper, Oreos, our friends... but I will always remember how when you were focused on me I felt special.

You taught me so much. I know I said this before but I can not thank you enough. You taught me about love when I was so young I didn't even know what I was feeling. You taught me about pain before I had to experience the worst pain of my life. That was a benefit to me. I had some skills that kept me functioning in that time of loss because I had already practiced them with the loss of your friendship. You taught me about my inner darkness and how it lashes out sometimes and sometimes it reaches deep inside of me. I can manage it better now with the help of your memory and my fandoms.

With those lessons you helped me realize how lucky I am to have gone through so much so young. If I didn't have you, The Boy before The Husband, I probably wouldn't have trusted myself enough to be sure what I felt for him was love and if I hadn't married him I wouldn't be as happy as I am now because I wouldn't have a spouse who would have known my father and how great he was. I needed someone who would understand the level of grief I feel every day at losing such a powerful influence and source of light and love in my life. I needed him and you gave him to me and you gave me the confidence to know it was a true and good love I felt because I had loved you for so long so young. You helped me get the life and love I need. You helped me recognize it and not be afraid of it.

Something I want you to know, Lavon, is if you ever want to switch territories and become a friend again I will allow it and welcome you back with open arms and only love and understanding. I will respect your boundaries and stay out of your way, but if you find this... and you miss our friendship... just know I still love you, platonically, I still miss you. I do not hate you. I forgive you. I hope only the best for you. You deserve goodness and love and comfort. You have been through a lot, too much, and I understand that. Just know you are loved. Just know you deserve so much out of life and I hope you don't let your darkness and your cynicism of this world rob you from pure joy and love. Let those who love you love you. Let yourself love them in return. Don't be afraid to show those kinder emotions. You have a good heart. You have a kind spirit. You have a sweet smile. Let yourself be happy. Even when it is hard let yourself want love and joy and happiness. Be the best version of yourself. Be happy. Be content. Be yourself.

I will always remember our time together, the good and the bad, and everything that came from it. I will always remember you as you were in a happy light. I will remember Trevor and respect Lavon.

With love and hope,

-"Katie" M.....

#letters ill never send #lost love #first love #therapy #letters to burn #letters

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renewingagain · 11 months ago

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monday 22 january 2024 // 7:11pm

feeling a little sorry for myself today but equally it is lowkey kinda my fault still lol

i received a job rejection which again would have been a perfect way for me to start a new career. it was what i wanted to go into and it was based in reading/london which would have been perfect for me to move to massi's and start my new life there

i suppose i still can just move down there come may, but i feel awkward about moving there without a job. it feels disappointing to my parents, and i dont want to burden massi

i mean yeah to be honest i didn't prep for the interview at all until the day - i was just so nervous as i find interviews quite daunting - especially civil service interviews, they are so tricky to navigate and this one i didn't pass at all. probably should have dedicated more time to it

anyway.., yes its a bit gutting to be rejected BUT it happens in life! if i was giving someone else advice in a similar situation, i would encourage them to just keep trying again. better your skills, take on feedback, yes it is a GRAFT, but (most) successful people just have to graft, it is the way life is if you wanna make it in the world. you can't allow rejection to tear you down, you've got to just chin up and carry on. there is a period of mourning, a period of sadness, a period of feeling sorrow. then comes a period of fixing yourself, a period of trying again, a period of progess, advancement, bettering yourself. the sorrow should only be for a period, ideally a small period. it is fine to be sorrowful but this will not cause change to occur

today i was in management training and we learned about emotional intelligence. we were taught that all emotions are positive. the sorrow i am feeling right now is now causing me to reflect (hence, journalling) and work out next steps, this is actually positive. allow your (bad) emotions to be the drive for change, don't just sit in them forever. disappointment is fine, it happens, we are only human, but reframe this disappointment to work for your good

think of the pain scenario: if you don't feel pain (eg, someone pinches you) then you will never know that anything is actually wrong. this anxiety you are feeling in your mind and your body is because your body wants and needs change, it is not happy where it is. try to use it as a driver to change. i would want the drive to be that i just don't want to feel anxiety anymore because it is tiring lol.

this isn't to say i'm doing terribly, generally i am actually quite well. there are good things still happening in life. i did a solo gig as a support slot for my friends band last weekend which i was very nervous about, but i owned it and it appeared to be well-received. im enjoying friends and being alive

anyway

we also come back to this old adage of how im going to choose to spend my time this year. i am very tired of using my phone, it is wasting my time a bit too much when i have many things to do

we also learned today in the management training about time management. my phone is a huge waste of my time, it is not the priority i want right now. i have a lot to do! more gigs to learn songs for, more CV work to do

i need to really sort my priorities out again

working out

looooool! ok, it is far too cold to be running right now, i cant face myself to do that. but i can still start doing my pullups every day again, and do some resistance band training too. that is all indoors and is at least constituting some form of exercise

i need to look at my to-do list and really just prioritise a few things, other things may have to wait. if i have to forego music stuff then i will. but i think i can do it all. i need to set aside time-slots of tasks i need to accomplish per day. and not use my phone while i'm doing things so i can just get shit done

chin up g, things will work out for you. i won't be stuck here forever, i refuse to be stuck this year. 2024 will be even better than 2023

if i dont find a decent job in london, the contingency plan is to just study and get qualified :) full time, this i can do in 3 months ! thats not too bad right? im sure i can find a pay monthly course to help me afford it if i really need to. it is an investment, and it will work out. london will be heaving with jobs once i get qualified in something

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faghubby · 3 years ago

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Dr Taylor

Jamie dragged me to counseling. I didn't see anything wrong with are marriage but agreed to keep her happy. We arrived early, I am always early. Dr Taylor took us straight away. She was an older woman about 60.

"First I am going to ask each of you what brings you in today" Dr Taylor told us.

"Tom you first"

"I don't know. Jamie gets annoyed that I don't help out around the house more" I stated

"Why don't you?" Dr Tylor asked.

"Because when I do she just tells me it's wrong anyway"

"Jamie now you"

"Tom hasn't made love to me in almost a month. And before that it was even longer" She spilled

"Tom, is that true?" Dr Tylor asked.

"That can't be right" I said

"My birthday was the last time we has sex, if you can call it that" Jamie shot back.

"Jamie give Tom a chance" Dr Taylor said

"Tom why don't you have sex with your wife" Dr Tylor asked

"I don't know it's like I everything else. She says I don't do it right or that I did it to fast" I explained

"So instead of trying harder you just gave up" Dr Tylor stated

"Yeah" I replied

"So do you masterbate then?" Dr continued

"Yes" I replied

"How often?" Dr Taylor continued

"I guess everyday" I confessed

"Jamie how do you cope" Dr Taylor asked

"I bought a toy" Jamie blushed

"Tom do you watch porn when you masterbate?" Dr Taylor asked

"Yes but Jamie hates porn" I replied

"Jamie how often do you pleasure yourself?" Dr Taylor asked

"Maybe once a week sometimes twice in a row. And I read raunchy romance books" She answered

"Guilty pleasures" Dr Taylor smiled

"OK so I want you two to go home and have sex" Dr Taylor stated

"Tom, I want you to use Jamie's toy on her, would that be OK Jamie?"

"Absolutely" She responded.

"Jamie you have to help him learn to satisfy you. Show him where and how you like to be touched and kissed" Dr Taylor told her.

"Now it takes time so don't be discouraged right away " Dr Taylor sent them on their way.

Tom took the instructions literally and tried to have sex the moment they got home. Jamie tried to be patient with him and went to bed. And when he failed to make Jamie cum even with a toy twice as big as him. He noticed he gave up.

The next week Jamie explained this to Dr Taylor. Her new assignment was for Jamie to let Tom watch her masterbate. Jamie got to pick when. She agreed. Tom would watch but not pleasure himself instead watch how Jamie pleasure herself. Then when Jamie finished She agreed to give him a blowjob.

It was two days later. Jamie had taken a hot bath and was in bed reading.

"Tom, would you like to watch me pleasure myself" She asked him.

"Now?" He jumped up. Jamie smiled and shook her ass as she walked back to the bedroom. Tom watched at first as Jamie rubbed the toy against her lips and clit.

"Right here like this feels amazing, and if you suck on this pointing out her clit it drives me wild. She then worked the toy in and out slow and steady.

"Right here as well she slid the toy out and towards her ass then back inside her. Soon her eyes closed and she was moaning as she buried the toy deep inside herself,

I watched as I got more and more excited. She took all of that toy it was so hot to watch. And then I stiffened and came in my pants. I had not even touched myself. A minute later Jamie finished.

"Come on baby let me make you happy now" Jamie said pulling at my pants.

"I can't believe you took it all. I can't do that to you" I yelled it was her fault.

"Tom you will feel better once OH" She stopped mid sentence as she had gotten my pants unbuckeled and stuck her hand in my cum filled underwear.

"That's OK baby it was hot you got too worked up is all" Jamie told me

I just stormed off to take a shower. Thenwent and watched TV till I knew Jamie was asleep.

Jamie tried again a few days later, but I rebuffed her.

Now back at Dr Taylor office.

"It went great, but" Jamie started

"What?" Dr Taylor asked me

"I can't compete with that toy, it's just" I stopped as well

"Tom, did it excite you to watch Jamie?" Dr Taylor asked. I didn't answer but she knew somehow

"Did you finish to fast?" She continued, Jamie was shaking her head.

"And that made you feel" Dr Taylor asked

"Jealous" I replied

"Did you like feeling Jealous because your wife got pleasure while you watched?" Dr continued. Jamie look of surprise and shock.

I didn't answer.

I want you to repeat the assignment as many times as you like. But in the mean time Tom can you come back alone tomarrow.?"

"I guess" I replied. All of this turned Jamie on. She tried to suck my dick while I was driving. But I stopped her. At home she dragged me to bed.

"Please just fuck me" She begged stipping herself naked. Instead I grabbed her toy and used it on her just like she had taught me. Except I held it on her asshole directly and she suirmed.

"Go ahead fuck my ass" She moaned instead I slid it into her pussy. She reached over and grabbed my dick as I fucked her with the toy. I came all over her hand as she came all over the toy. Jamie licked her fingers clean. I didn't think about it when I kissed her after.

The next day I met with Dr Taylor alone.

"Tom what type of porn do you watch?" She asked

"You know" I stated

"This is a safe place I can't even tell Jamie unless you tell me to." She told me "show me, you have some on your phone?"

I turned on a video and handed it to her. It was pretty normal stuff. But Dr Tylor scrolled thru. And started another video.

"Now this is interesting" as she showed me one of a woman getting fucked by two huge black guys. She scrowled again. This one had a small dicked husband watching a hung man fuck his wife in her wedding gown. I looked over and saw Dr Taylor white panties under her pantyhose. As she watched her legs spread and more was exposed

"You like looking at my panties?" She asked hiking her skirt up.

I couldn't take my eyes away for an older lady she looked good. She started rubbing herself.

"Would you like to help me?" She asked. She stood and took off her skirt and blouse. She walked to her desk and in one drawer she pulled out a huge black dildo. She reached over and grabbed my dick giving it a squeeze I came in my underwear.

Dr Taylor handed me her toy and pulled down her pantyhose and panties. I tried to go slow like Jamie likes but Dr Taylor told me to shove it in. It was as long as my fore arm and this woman. Took it and wanted more. I was so excited my dick was hard again.

"Suck my clit while this big cock fucks me" Dr Taylor told me. Pulling me to her. Her clit was so much bigger. I sucked her clit while she fucked the big toy cock.

"That's right suck it while he fucks me with his big cock" Dr Taylor moaned. Dr Taylor moaned loud and squirted. Covering my face. I fell backwards.

"You liked that didn't you" Dr Taylor asked me.

"Yes, I just couldn't help myself" I told her.

"I think Jamie would like you to do that to her" She told me.

"I can't tell her about that" I was still staring at Dr Taylor bare pussy.

"Would you like to eat my used pussy? She asked as she caught me staring

"Is that what you want Jamie to come home with a used pussy for you to eat"

"Go ahead eat my gaped pussy" Dr Taylor told me. I dropped back to my knees and ate her pussy.

"You eat pussy so well, why don't you do this to your wife?" Dr Taylor asked.

"Why don't you lick my ass as well" She told me. So I did.

"You would make such a good cuckold" Dr Taylor told me.

"Take off your pants" I stood and took off my pants and boxers.

"Oh its so cute. Why don't you put on my panties?" She told me.

"I cant" I whined

"Yes you can, do it now" Dr Taylor told me. I slid her panties on.

"Jamie is such a lucky girl, now go home and put on a pair of your wife's panties and lick her like a good sissy. You can keep them" She told me pointing at her panties. I came in them as she patted my ass.

Dr Taylor picked up her phone and called Jamie.

"Jamie can you come in tomorrow with Tom, he had an amazing breakthrough we should discuss. No Tom is doing great. Yes that would be perfect" She hung up.

"Would you like me to play with your cute little butt too?" Dr Taylor asked. I didn't answer I just stood there as her hand grabbed my ass. She opened her drawer and pulled out some lube and a plug. She bent me over and worked the toy in.

"Oh my yes" I moaned

"Now why don't you make me cum again." Again I dropped and made her cum.

She then sent me home. Jamie wanted to know how my session had gone but I jumped in the shower. Hiding the plug and the Dr's panties. When I got out of the shower Jamie was waiting for me.

"You don't have to tell me about it, I just want you to know how happy I am that you are trying" She told me dressed in sexy lingerie she had bought a while back trying to enticed me.

We cuddled and kissed. Then made love I don't think I made her cum but she was happy. Giving me praise and encouragement.

The next evening I found myself back at Dr Taylor's waiting for Jamie who was meeting me here and running late. Dr Taylor bought me in her office.

"Did you wear her panties today?" She asked me. I shook my head no.

"But you thought about it?" I nodded.

Just then Jamie arrived.

"So sorry baby, I know you hate being late." She told me.

"It is fine" Dr Taylor told her. It had only been a few minutes.

"Tom as revieled to me somethings I think he should tell you" Dr Taylor told her. I couldn't tell her.

"Dr Taylor, first let me say he has been trying really hard. Last night we made love when he got back from your session" Jamie squeezed my hand.

"Would you like me to tell her" Dr Taylor asked me. With that she opened her legs revieling her panties. Jamie was a little shocked.

"See how he is memorized by the sight of my panties" Dr Taylor explained. And Jamie looked over at me then rubbed my crotch.

"Your excited" She told me. Dr Taylor crossed her legs.

"Tom told me a great many things last night" Dr Taylor continued.

"Tom get excited at the idea of you have sex with other men" She told Jamie

"Really?" She turned to me.

"He doesn't see himself as enough of a man to please you other then orally" Dr Linda told her.

"He doesn't do that much, he is very good at it but doesn't like it" Jamie corrected her

"Only because it makes him cum in his pants and he is embarrassed." Dr Taylor told her. "He would like you to make him wear panties and please you orally while you have sex with real men. Isn't that right Tom?" Dr Taylor asked me. I could just nod

"Come on Tom use your words"

"Yes, It's all true" he confessed. As I said it I climaxed in my pants Jamie still having her hand in my lap felt it.

"You just messed yourself" Jamie told me.

"He probably would love it if you gave him your panties to wear home" Dr Taylor told her. I dropped my head and Jamie knew she was right.

"Tom have you ever tasted your own cum? Or someone elses?" Dr Taylor asked. I shook my head

"Would you like to? Maybe have Jamie feed it to you?" I got hard again and Jamie noticed.

"I would love to keep working with both of you," Dr Taylor told us. She handed Jamie a book on cuckold and hotwives.

"I would be happy to answer any questions" we all stood and Dr Taylor hugged me and patted my butt.

"I will leave it to you to tell her about the butt thing" Dr Taylor smiled.

As Jamie took my hand as we left.

"What butt thing?" She asked.

To be continued

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drariellevalentine · 4 years ago

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Medically Inevitable

Chapter 11:- Beloved Birthdays

Characters:- Arielle Valentine, Ethan Ramsey, Mark Raines, Liam Mercado, Sienna Trinh, Elijah Greene, Landry Olsen, Jackie Varma, Bryce Lahela, Rafael Aveiro, Kyra Santana, Danny Cardinal, Phoebe Reznik

Pairing:- Ethan Ramsey x Arielle Valentine

Warnings:- Alcohol, Swearing

Arielle’s PoV:-

You wake up around 3:30, not being able to sleep. After tossing and turning in your bed with no avail, you step into your bathroom and decide to start your morning routine. After brushing your teeth and a series of skincare steps, you slip on your robe and head out to your balcony.

Sliding the glass door shut, to make sure no one wakes up, you step outside and lean against the railing. The cool breeze makes you shiver as your med school memories come rushing inside your mind, against your will. You forcefully shut your eyes, trying to make it stop, but it doesn’t...everything comes crashing down. You remember everything...from the moment you met him, to the platonic hang-outs which evolved into romantic dates, the sweet Valentine’s Day activities you would do every year, meeting each other’s families and the day when he said ‘I Love You’ and you said it back….and finally the moment when your heart was ripped apart. You sink to your knees, head between your knees, and let everything out. All the emotions swirling inside of you finally pour out of you as tears, completely soaking the front of the robe. It’s been about 10 minutes when you hear, “Arielle?” Looking up, you see Elijah right outside the threshold. You quickly wipe your tears and quickly stand up.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. An eyelash fell into my eye.”

He looks at you. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard.”

You sigh. “It’s a long story.”

“Okay then, short version.”, he says.

“I was in a six-year relationship during med school and it came crashing down a few months before residency. So, he ended up cheating on me...with my best friend.”

He gives you a sympathetic look. “I’m so sorry Arielle.” He wheels his chair towards you as you slump back into your plush armchair.

“I’m fine. I’ve dealt with it. It just came back to me, reopened some old wounds.”, you say tears well up once again. He wordlessly envelops you in a hug, letting you sit there for some time. “Thanks, Elijah. You’re an amazing friend.” He’s about to reply when a yawn cuts him off.

“Looks like I’m a little sleepy.”, he smiles sheepishly.

“I completely forgot it’s so early. How did you even hear me?”, you ask.

“I heard sobbing from the side of my bed. It’s right next to your balcony remember?”

“Oh yeah. You should get some sleep.” He slowly wheels away but turns around, “Will you be okay?” You nod. He exits the room as you walk into your bathroom and decide to make yourself a nice hot bubble bath. Turning the hot water tap, you survey your bubble bath mixtures until deciding on a jasmine and coconut scented one. Pouring a generous amount in, you slip off your clothes and sink into the tub and let yourself relax.

After a long soak, you dry yourself off and go to the kitchen to get something to eat.

“Hey.” Startled, you look up to find Landry at the front door.

“You’re up this early?”, you ask.

“Yeah, I always leave this early. Even Dr. Ramsey gets in this early. I mean, he’s the example you want to follow right?”

“Yes, but it doesn’t mean that you have to follow his schedule.”, you reply teasingly.

“So are you coming or not? It definitely will help you in the competition, it gives you time to study your charts.”

“Alright. Just give me a sec.” You head into your room and pull on a pair of scrubs. You quickly pull your hair into a high ponytail and grab your backpack as you head out the door with Landry.

“We’ll take my car.” You slide into Landry’s car and drive to Edenbrook. You both grab your stuff and after dropping off your stuff, you both head out to the near-empty atrium. “Hey, want to see if Dr. Ramsey posted the new rankings earlier?”, he asks.

“That’s today?”, you ask.

“Yeah. You don’t remember?!”, he asks.

“Well, my mind slipped. I’m focused on my patients. Let’s go see.” Both of you walk towards the notice board and Landry slowly reads the list from the top. His face falls as he notices his rank.

“What!? How did I slip to eighth?”

“Well...did you make any mistakes recently?”, you ask.

“Well, I almost misdiagnosed a case the other day.” You look at him ridiculously.

“It wasn’t my fault! I didn’t know that she had changed her daily routine!”, he defends.

“Didn’t you talk to the patient?”, you ask.

“Why should I? We’re supposed to figure out what’s wrong with them, not listen to all their life stories.”, he shrugs.

“Learning about the patients and their stories is the best part! Anyways, it’s part of the job.”, you answer.

He nods. “Ok, I have to go.” He heads towards the nurses’ station. You notice your ranking, right above Landry’s. A small beam of pride washes over you. Taking advantage of the very empty atrium, you decide to visit Naveen when you notice Dr. Emery coming your way. Crap!

“Good morning, Chief Emery.”

“Good morning, Dr. Valentine.”, she nods in response. Quickly, you head back to the nurses’ station and go to pick up your charts when you hear someone call you.

“Valentine.” You turn around and see Zaid.

“Yes?…”

"Valentine, new admission in room 712. Dr.Ramsey wants you to handle it," Zaid states.

"Dr. Ramsey… asked for me?" You ask shocked.

"By name," Zaid says in a plain voice.

"Really? Why?" By now you can't help your smile.

"Gee, I dunno Valentine. I didn't ask. Maybe I should be more like you and badger my superiors with incessant questions," Zaid returns your smile sarcastically making you drop yours.

"Fineee," you raise your hand in mock surrender. "I'll go and attend the patient."

You make your way to the seventh floor. Entering the room with a smile on your face, you find a man in his late 50's laying on the bed.

"Good morning Mr.Platt. What can I do for you today?" You say nicely with a bright smile on your face.

"You can start by-" before the man can complete his sentence, he burps loudly scaring you with the sudden action. You compose yourself quickly. "turning down the A/C in this godawful hospital! I'm not a polar bear. And then you can send my doctor." He says rudely which annoys you but don't say anything rather play nice. "Enough nurses. Show me some-" he burps again -"respect."

"Mr.Platt I am your doctor-" he interrupts you." Like hell-" he burps loudly again," Like hell you are."

By this time your anger rises at this man's audacity. "Excuse me?" Your voice comes out louder and angrier than you expected.

"You look like a little teenager. You don't even look qualified to wipe my ass. Go and call an actual doctor."

“Oh, that’s it! How dare he question your qualification!” You’re about to rip him off when you remember he’s your patient. Taking a few deep breaths, you grit your teeth and calm yourself.

"I'm highly qualified. Mr.Platt, I assure you that I am older than I look," you decide to play the nice card one last time, "I graduated top of my class from-"

"Anyone can be certified for anything now-" he burps- "thanks to the internet."

“Oh my god!!!”, you think. “ Luckily Edenbrook has an extremely rigorous standard for its staff. I'm one of the best doctors of my year, nationwide. You are in good hands."

"Hrm. We'll see about that," he says, his voice filled with arrogance.

"Now why don't you tell me what brings you here today," you pick up his chart ignoring the wish to tear him apart. "Your chart says you have been experiencing chest pain."

"That's what I have been saying-" he burps again, "My chest hurts."

“When on Earth did he say that? All along he was just trying to question my qualification!”, you inwardly scoff.

"Okay. Anything else out of the ordinary?"

"Tingling in my arms like pins and needles." His expression turns into a horrified one when he says the next lines. "I read online that it means I'm having a heart attack."

"Well, that certainly can be a symptom. Have you been experiencing something else? Any jaw pain or maybe lightheadedness?"

"My damned hair has been falling out. Clumps of it in the pillow every morning when I wake up."

"Interesting," you note the point down "Definitely not a symptom of heart-" but you are again being cut off by him.

"But that's what-" he burps loudly for the hundredth time now, "-the internet said."

"The internet can be misleading, sir. Still, we'll send you down for an E.C.G to rule out the heart attack. But first I'll-"

"What the hell is an A.B.C.? You're making up this garbage as you go. Send me a real doctor now." You pinch the bridge of your nose as you make your way to the ER to get a head start on your shift before lunch.

Ethan’s PoV:-

You’re just finishing up your shift in the ER when a scent of coconut and some kind of flower wafts through the air. Turning around, you find none other than Dr. Valentine. You can tell she’s livid but trying to be calm.

“Dr. Valentine. How is Mr. Platt’s case going?” She weighs her options on what to say.

“He’s…quite difficult. But nothing I can’t handle.” You allow yourself a small smile regarding her response. “Dr. Ramsey, I have a question.” You nod. “Is there perhaps a certain reason you assigned me this case?” You were wondering when she was going to ask.

“There is.”

“Why?”, she asks clearly eager to know.

“Figure it out.”, you say swiftly leaving the ER. You can hear a groan escape her lips as you leave.

Arielle’s PoV:-

“What the hell does he mean, ‘Figure it out’?! Ugh!...”

“Dr. Valentine. There are no patients right now here. You can go.” You turn to see Sarah gesture to the empty beds.

“Well at least people aren’t sick.”, you think as you head back to the nurses’ station.

After rounds, you grab a light salad and a strawberry smoothie and spot some of your friends at a table.��Hey guys! What’s up?”

“What’s up is that’s it’s Jackie’s birthday today, but she thinks nobody knows.”, Elijah says.

“Wait what!? Why didn’t anybody tell me?!”, you ask.

“Well that’s why we’re telling you now!”, a voice says from behind. You turn around to find Bryce flashing you his signature smirk. You roll your eyes.

“So...what are we going to do?!”, you ask.

“How do you guys know?”, you ask.

“I saw a text from one of her friends.”, Sienna says.

“So, I and Bryce came up with this plan….”, Elijah explains the plan (with Bryce chiming in with (‘This was my idea!’) every once in a while as you chow down on lunch.

“Sounds awesome! Everyone on board?!”, Si asks. Everyone nods.

“I can snag us a reservation downtown.”, you offer.

“Those places have to be reserved months in advance!”, Sienna says.

You smirk, “I have friends in high places.”

“Of course you do.”, Bryce says. Just then your pager beeps.

“Time for my ER shift.”, you dispose of your tray and head to the ER after trading your pumps for a pair of sandals.

“Dr. Valentine!” You twirl around and see Danny waving.

“Hey, Danny.”

“Here’s the test results you asked for.”

“Thanks! By the way, we’re planning a surprise birthday party for Jackie today. You should come, Sienna would want you to.”

“...okay. I’ll try. And I won’t say a word to Jackie.”, he responds.

“I’ll send you the address later.” Thanking him, you look through the results for some clue...but find nothing.

You groan as you enter the ER. “Why did Dr. Ramsey even assign me this case?!”

“Having a bad day?” You turn around to find Rafael standing at the door of the E.R.

He gives you a sympathetic smile, "You sound like you could use someone to vent to. And not to toot my own horn," he smiles," but I have been told that I am a great listener."

"I don't doubt it," you smile back.

He pauses for a moment then adds, " Want to grab dinner after work today."

"I would have loved to, but I have got plans with some other interns tonight," you reply feeling guilty for denying such a sweet offer. However, you smile brightly as an idea strikes your mind, "Rafael, why don't you join us for dinner tonight?" You ask excitedly.

"Me and a bunch of hotshot doctors? I'm not sure that's my scene," he nods his head still smiling.

"C'mon! It's Jackie's birthday, so we are throwing her a surprise party. It would be fun," you say hoping he'd agree, " Also you could meet my friends. They are awesome."

He laughs at your excitement, "I am sure I have met them a couple of times. I bring a lot of emergency patients."

"Meeting them in the emergency ward don't count, Raf." You playfully roll your eyes. "They are a great group of people, they'll love you. And so will you..." Making a puppy face you request him in the cutest way possible," Please!"

Rafael bites his lips thinking and then shakes his head smiling.

"You can be very persuasive, you know?"

You grin at the comment. "So does that mean that you'll join us?"

He nods before laughing at your childish excitement. Your pager beeps.

“Incoming patient.” The pager should be known as the universal interrupter for doctors! I swear it just loves to interrupt people!”, you exclaim as you wave back to him.

“Well, It also does make sure that none of your patients are dead.”, he calls out. You laugh as you head to the emergency bay.

After your shift in the ER, you quickly update Dr. Tanaka on the scheduled surgeries and head to the 5th floor to find Ines.

“Ines! I need a favor.”

“Of course! What can I do for my favorite intern?”

“You probably shouldn’t say that out loud,...but I don’t mind.”, you reply with a cheeky smile. “I need you to keep Jackie busy with patients until I text you a heart.” She gives you a look. “Today’s her birthday and we want to surprise her.”, you explain.

Her face brightens, “Of course! I’ll make sure she doesn’t suspect anything.”

“Thank you!” You throw your arms around her for a quick minute and head off to the parking lot after grabbing your stuff. After a quick drive, you enter your apartment to see everyone except Jackie getting dressed.

Bryce notices you and walks towards you. “So, have you made the reservation yet?”

“Just about to call.” You head inside your room and scroll through your contact list until you find Mark, hitting dial. He picks up almost immediately.

“If it isn’t my favorite doctor cousin.”

“I’m your only cousin who’s a doctor.”, you laugh.

“So, how’s residency going? The last time we talked, you told me you were in a competition.”

“It’s...a learning experience. How’s Blair?”

“She’s amazing. She’s at the firm right now with Adrian.”

“Awesome. So, I need a favor from my favorite chef.”, you say.

“Ask away.”

“So, it’s a friend’s birthday and a need to make a reservation somewhere downtown. I would have made one before but I only got to know today. Do you know any restaurants in Boston that can squeeze a group of around...uh…10 people? Please?!”

“I’ll need more than that. Tell me what kind of place.”

“Hmm...let’s see. She would appreciate some a bit fancy but something where everyone can still be themselves and enjoy the night. The place would be nice if it was private, secluded. Definitely with like an open bar or something like that.”

He doesn’t respond. “Mark? Are you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Sorry if it’s too much to ask. I’ll find something.”

“Woah, wait a sec Cherry! I was just thinking.”, he responds.

“Yeah, I know. It’s a lot to ask.”

”Luckily, I know just the place.”

“Thank you, Mark. So much.”

His voice softens, “Who else would I do this for? I’ll text you the address and any other details you need to know.”

“Ok bye!”

“Love you too Cherry!” He sarcastically says after he ends the call. You come out of your room to find everyone dressed and ready.

“Ahh! You guys all look amazing!”, you exclaim.

“And so will you, once you get ready.”, Sienna exclaims as she pushes you back into your room. “Okay, let’s see what you have.” She rifles through the evening wear section of your closet and pulls out a black lace dress. “This is perfect! Now get dressed while I pick out some accessories to match.”, she says as she goes through your jewelry drawer. You step into your closet and pulling on the dress, you pair it with a pair of gold stilettos.

“Are you done yet?!”

“Geez Sienna! Just a minute.” You walk out of your closet to find Sienna holding a pair of gold hoops and a gold wristwatch. Taking the earrings and clasping them on, you slide onto the stool and touch up your morning makeup. Sienna pulls out a baby pink liquid lipstick and applies a coat to your lips.

“All done!”

“Thanks for your help!”, you reply as you pull a matching gold crossbody purse and fill it with all your things. “Hey, I meant to ask. Is Wayne coming?”

Her face falls, “No, he said he’s busy.” You look at her, knowing she’s hiding something. “...I told him that I need a break.”

“Oh Sienna, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know...he’s changed Ari. It’s like he doesn’t even care about me or what I do. You saw how he acted at the housewarming party.”

“I think you should talk to him. And if things don’t work out…”, you give her a pointed look. “Look Sienna, I get it. But you deserve better.” She nods as she takes your phone from you. “What are you doing?”

“You’re an influencer! And you need to post about how amazing you look right now! Now, pose like this…right by your armchair.” She snaps a pic and posts it on Insta for you.

“I think we look amazing, don’t you?”, you ask as you turn to her.

“Nope…I know we look amazing!” You both giggle.

After one final look in the mirror, you and Sienna head outside and join your friends. “Okay, I’ve told Ines to keep Jackie busy so…she’s probably at the hospital. I’ll tell Ines to let her go so she’ll have just enough time to get ready as I text her.” Everyone nods in agreement as you pull out your phone and text Ines.

“Okay, Jackie’s on her way home. Now I’ll text her.”

You show everyone the series of texts. “Mission Birthday Surprise is a go!”

“Awesome! This is going to be amazing! Arielle, where’s the reservation?”, Sienna asks. You’re about to reply when Mark calls.

“Just on time.”You slip on a Bluetooth and answer.

“Hey, Mark. We’re all in the living room right now. Did you get a reservation?”, you ask.

“Let‘s just say I pulled a few strings. I’ll send you the address. We’ve already been here before but at a different part of the restaurant. I booked you guys a rooftop, so you guys should have privacy and instructed a few other things. The head chef will greet you there, and he’ll explain everything.”

“That’s amazing! Thank you so much!”

“Anything for you.”, you laugh.

“Okay, talk to you later.”

“Have a nice time. Love you.”

“Love you too.” You cut the call and turn to everyone to break the good news when everyone stares at you. “What?!”, you ask.

“You never told us you had a boyfriend!”, Elijah says. You stare at them in confusion until it hits you. You burst out in laughter as everyone stares at you.

“Oh my god guys, he’s my cousin! I’m currently single as a pringle. Now, seeing that you guys heard everything Mark said, let’s go!”

Everyone cheers as they all pile up in your car.

“I call shotgun!”, Bryce yells as he slides in the front seat. “Kyra, Phoebe, Danny, and Raf said that they’ll meet us there.”

“Awesome! I’ll send them the address.” After a quick text to all four, you start to drive.

Blasting and singing to music all the way, you reach the place in 20 minutes.

“You have reached your destination.” Everyone cheers.

“Come on! All of you out!” All of you grab your things and walk up to the swanky restaurant. You enter the restaurant and walk up to the person.

“Ah! You must be the group Chef Raines has personally reserved. Please, follow me.” He leads you up an elevator to reveal a beautifully decorated rooftop with tables set up and an open bar.

“Damn! This is nice! Way to go, Arielle!”, Elijah says. You turn around as you hear someone call your name.

“Well if it isn’t the one and only Arielle Valentine! Or should I say, Dr. Valentine?”

“Liam! What are you doing here?”, you shout as you hug him.

“I’m now head chef of this restaurant.”

“That’s amazing!” You turn to everyone. “Guys, meet Liam Mercado, an amazing chef, and my childhood bestie.” As you introduce everyone to each other, you notice Phoebe, Raf, Kyra, and Danny coming out from the elevator. “Elijah, Sienna! Look who’s here!” The four of them start talking as they constantly blush, leaving you to giggle.

“Arielle!” You walk towards Liam. “So I’ve done a birthday cake and everything and food prep will be done in about an hour. So, it’ll be perfect for you to surprise your friend and play some games right before dinner. Just tell me once you guys are ready for dinner and we’ll bring everything out.”

“Thank you, we have to catch up sometime. The last time I saw you, I was still in med school.”

He nods, “And the last time I saw you, I wasn’t engaged either.”

“What!? Why didn’t you tell me!?”

“Because in a few weeks, I was going to invite you to Lara’s baby shower.”

“Oh my god! Congratulations! If you keep dropping bombs on me like this, you’re going to give me a heart attack.”, you shriek.

“Trust me, I wasn’t planning to tell you like this either. But I’m really excited.”, he says with a fond smile.

“You’re going to be an amazing dad.” He smiles as his phone rings.

“Excuse me, but I have to take this. It’s Mark. Probably to see if I’ve met the expectations of his favorite sister.”, he sarcastically replies. Laughing, you walk back towards the group when you hear Sienna shout. “Oh my god! We forgot about presents!” Shit! You completely forgot about presents. Quickly calling everyone over, all of you decide that you and Kyra will go and get the presents with the money everyone pitches in. “Let’s go!”, you quickly drive to the nearest mall with Kyra.

“Do you have any idea about what we should get? We don’t have much time either!”

“I know Kyra. I think we’ll buy multiple small items and make them into like a huge gift basket.”

“Awesome idea! That should work.” You both quickly rush to the mall’s directory and skim the list of stores. “Hey Ari, there’s a Sephora on the ground floor. We should start there.” You nod and head to Sephora.

“Okay, we’ll split up and just pick out a few of our favorite products. Then we’ll meet up and decide what to keep.” You quickly scan all the aisles, picking out products as you go. Knowing that every female doctor’s biggest struggle is dark circles, you pick out a tube of concealer, primer, and light-weight foundation from your favorite brand as you try to match her skin tone. Then you pick out a few different types of eyeliner and mascara, knowing that pretty much no one can spot Jackie without her signature cat-eye.

“Ari!” You spot Kyra holding a bag of her own. You go over and put all your products together. She’s picked out a perfectly sized eyeshadow palette and a few different liquid lipstick and glosses.”This is perfect! We’ll go buy a basket and some ribbons later on.” After finishing the purchase at Sephora in a record time of 12 minutes, you rush out of the store.

“Ooh! What about some products from Lush?! She loved the spa day!”, you say.

“Great idea!” After browsing around Lush, you both come up with the idea to make the color of the products themed. Kyra picks out a few soaps and bath bombs as you decide to go to Bath & Body Works. Ending up with a bottle of hairspray, perfume, and a few candles, you meet Kyra back at the second-floor lounge.

“You’re back! I found this amazing scarlet pink basket that matched our theme! Then I bought some tissue paper and ribbons and a bunch of extra stuff!”

“Amazing! I also stopped by the card shop and found this savage birthday card. We’ll get everyone to sign it. Let’s get to work!” After a tedious discussion of placement, you and Kyra manage to arrange everything in the basket neatly. She wraps the basket in a clear wrapper and ties it up with a matching ribbon and bow.

“I think we make a great team.”, you say.

“We do, don’t we!” Both of you quickly drive back to the restaurant and rush up to the rooftop. You step out of the elevator to find the place fully decorated by your friends.

“They’re back!”, Bryce shouts. “And come bearing a huge gift basket!” You and Kyra explain to everyone about the gift, then pass the card around for everyone to sign. After you sign, Si helps you tie the card with the gift basket.

“I think we’re all set.”, Landry says.

“Yeah, this was some great work! I can’t believe you guys came up with this today!”, says Phoebe.

“That’s cause it was a team effort.”, Elijah says.

“And one which will be wasted if the birthday queen isn’t here. Where is she?”, Bryce asks.

“She’ll be here in 20, Bryce. Meanwhile, we need to set up the gifts and set up the tables.

You help your friends set up the tables and gifts that you bought, with the restaurant’s staff’s help. After a while, your phone rings. You shout, “Guys, be quiet! It’s Jackie!”

You answer the call. “Hey, Jackie! Are you here yet?”

“Yeah, I just parked. What do I do now?”, she asks.

“Tell the receptionist that you’re here for the dinner that the Raines’ reserved. We’re up on the rooftop. Bye!” You shove your phone in your purse and shout, “Okay guys! The moment we’ve been all waiting for! Places everyone! I’ll switch off the lights. Once I switch on the lights, everyone yells! Understood?! Everyone nods as they take their places. You kill the lights, and a few minutes later Jackie enters from the elevator. “Arielle? Sienna? Elijah? Guys, I swear if this is some kind of prank-“ You stifle your laughter as you switch on the lights.

“Surprise!!!!” Everyone runs up and hugs her as she stands there like a deer in headlights. Bryce takes a picture of her wide-eyed face.

“Happy birthday Jackie!” You exclaim as you trap her in a hug. “You look amazing!”

“Let me guess, this was all you?”, she responds with a knowing smirk.

“Noooooo!... It was all Bryce!”, you sarcastically say.

“Hey! Offense taken!”, Bryce shouts as both of you laugh.

“You guys did all this for me?”

“I don’t know, do you know anyone else named Jackie?”, Kyra teases. All of you laugh.

“Well then, what are we waiting for?! Let’s get this party started!”, you yell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors’ Note:- Hey lovelies! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and make sure to comment/reblog below! Also, make sure to turn on your notifications for the next chapter, where the gang gets involved in....let’s just say a quite adventurous dare. Let us know if you want to be added to the taglist!

And a special thank you to @nikki-2406, this a-ma-zing human being saved my ass from editing pics! Love you girl!🥰

Part 1 of taglist:- @kaavyaethanramsey @rookie-ramsey @ohramsey @caseyvalentineramsey @hopelessromantics4life @realmrsramsey @binny1985 @maurine07 @alina-yol-ramsey @helloitsthiv @tsrookie @arcticlumineer @mary-c92 @sad-satan-herself @whippedforethanfreakingramsey @archxxronrookie @ethansrookie02 @semanticsandsea-lemons @mrandmrsramsey @starrystarrytrouble @deepikakkannan @siaramsey @katkart122 @openheartthot @imonlybibecauseofethanramsey @luvevelynclaire @literaryexpress @miss-smrxtiee @nadeen-ahmed11 @mrsalanrickman394 @drstellavalentine @ethandaddyramseyx @annekebbphotography @custaroonie @ladyrileybrooks @robbies-sutcliffe @cralinedp @bladesofopenheart @ezekielbhandarivalleros @daddyethanramsey @aquirkychica @romewritingshop @lilyvalentine @xpandabeardontcarex @in-love-with-a-trans-girl @coastalengineer @starrystarrytrouble @clowneryme @natureblooms24

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latetheff · 3 years ago

Text

Late - Chapter 1

Turn Back Time

Chris Evans x Becky London Raiting: Mature Warnings: This is a grown up kind of story, people will make mistakes, do stupid shit and possibly treat each other in not the best way - if this is a problem for you, I advise you not to read. Other than that, I'll try to tag everything, if you see something that might be trigging and it's not tagged, please, let me know.

A/N: It would be great to read you opinion about this fic!

Is the past a happy place even when it is full of problems? Cause she’s not sure if it’s okay to want back so much a relationship that didn't even work. The short time they’ve been together is a confusing memory - everything was just too much. They had fun, they were absolutely delighted to be in each other's company and they clicked just so amazingly - the kiss, the hugs, the sex - it was just perfect. Everything but her jealousy. And her lack of communication skills. And the fact that she would lie and try to hurt him for hurting her - even if he wasn’t even aware of it. Yeah, she sucks pretty bad.

Becky learned very soon that things wouldn’t function between them. He’s prince charming in person and the only royal thing about her is the spoiled way she was raised. She didn’t consider herself an arrogant person, but she’s aware of all the things she should be able to do to be considered a competent adult and how far away from it she is. At first, she thought she would try and catch up, but the fact that he’s so independent and self-sufficient got her intimidated and she only knows how to fix her problems in a destructive defensive way. To be with him was an exercise in facing her own futility. She was certain the only reason for him to want her is her beauty, fame, intensity, cause she assumes she has nothing else to offer.

She’s talented - that’s something she believes in and the contracts and buzzing around her confirms it - so she puts all her energy into it. Since the break, all she did was work. Now when she looks back at the phone and sees his text, she feels tired like she’s been running and holding her breath for years, although it took only two corridors and an elevator ride. Entering the hotel room, she hurries to the bed, taking out her sandals in the way, and sits, hugging a pillow.

She knows she should have worked on all the things wrong that got her out of that relationship 7 years ago, but she didn’t! She ignored everything and now it won’t work again! Not that she expected to ever have another chance with him, but she should have done it for herself! Instead, she jumped into work and blocked any kind of relationship reflection. This is as close as being able to turn back time but can she do things differently when she hasn't grown or learned anything? Is the weight on her shoulder enough to make her better and actually deserve another chance? Well, here goes nothing.

Hi. - great, very eloquent, she thinks

Can I call you? - Call her? Becky can’t deal with hearing his voice when the words alone are driving her nuts.

No. - Damn, what can she say to avoid this call and keep texting? He didn’t text anything back after her negative, probably imagining she didn’t want to have any contact with him. The truth, Becky, go with the truth.

I want to talk to you. Really. I’m just not sure if I’m ready to hear your voice.

Fuck, I thought you wouldn’t want to talk at all. How are you?

I’m in New York, I have an interview tomorrow and will be filming a campaign in two days. How are you?

Filming in Europe...looking at pictures of you like a lost puppy.

Why?

I’m not sure, I miss you.

I miss you too. I’m so sorry, Chris.

I’m sorry, darling. I wish I could turn back time and make it alright.

It wasn't your fault. At all.

I know it’s too late but I really want to talk to you and see if maybe the good things are still there, you know?

I would really like that too.

Let me call you.

Ok.

When he does, it’s a video call - not what she expected, but she accepts it anyway.

“Fuck, you look gorgeous” she hears him saying almost as if it’s a secret.

“You look tired” she whispers back, concerned about the weariness she can see in his eyes.

Chris gives her the most beautiful sarcastic smile before answering ”Thanks. It’s almost 4 am here, I couldn’t sleep.” He squinted his eyes trying to focus on a red stain on her pillow “Are you bleeding?"

“Oh, shit...yes.” Becky stands from the bed and hurries to the bathroom, taking the phone with her and placing it in front of the mirror as she gets her finger under the water, unaware of the way her dress is pulled to give him a view of her cleavage. “I cut my finger in a glass downstairs when you called and forgot to tend to it” the new information changes his attention away from the delicious curve of her breasts and all the flashbacks tempting him.

“What happened? Are you sure there’s no glass in it?” He asks worriedly, she can see his caring nature once again and it brings back a lot of good memories of the great guy he is.

“I was…” not sure if she should just say the truth and how she was about to fuck some essentially stranger; she looks down and closes the sink, toweling her hands “I want you back, Chris, but I don’t know if I deserve you.”

“Becky..” he tries to cut her but she keeps talking.

“No, that’s not true, I know I don’t. I wasn’t good to you back then and I didn’t work on my problems yet...You’re amazing, really, and I really do want you back, but I have to figure my mess out.”

“Darling, you talk as if you’re a monster. It didn’t work before but it doesn’t mean it was anyone’s fault...and anyway, we can talk and get everything straight. I really want to try again and if you want that too, the past doesn't matter much.”

She’s not sure if she agrees with his reasoning, but she wants to believe in it, in them. Smiling back at him, she gets the phone back and walks to the bed. “It’s been so long...we’ll have to get to know each other all over again.”

“I don’t mind that at all,” Chris tells her. “In fact, I look forward to it. Where are you living, darling?”

“I’m still with my parents...I mean, I’m never there so, it didn’t make sense to leave. You’re probably still in Mass, right?”

“Yep. New house, but yeah. I’ll be there in a month I guess...if it all goes well here. Are you able to visit?”

“I’ll make sure I am. You know this is one of the things I need to adjust in my life...I’m 32, I need to have my own house. I feel like I’m not even an adult, Chris...I don’t even drive! There you are trying to change the world and I can’t drive!”

He feels her getting anxious and the desire to hug her is so overwhelming that his eyes are filled with tears. “Babe, hey, it doesn’t matter. You’re 8 years younger than me. You have time to figure everything out and I’ll help if you let me. Don’t pressure yourself.”

“I miss you. One month you said?” she flirtatiously says.

“Yep,” he smiles, happy to know his feelings are being reciprocated. He tries hard but the yaws are not backing away anymore. She sees it and smiles softly at him, wishing she could be there to cuddle with him.

“Go to sleep, handsome. Call me tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I will. Hopefully this is not a dream.”

“Hopefully. I’ll wait for your call anyway.”

“Hey, I never asked where you were...you look really gorgeous.”

The call date was ending so well and this question will screw up everything. She wants him to go to sleep with a light heart and hope...not overthinking his decision of getting back together. So, she does one of the things that proves she’s not good enough for him. She lies.

“Photoshoot. I really need to take a bath and rest too. Good dreams, big guy.”

“Good night, babe.”

When they hung up, she threw herself back at the pillows - divided between opposite emotions - happiness for the new chance but disappointed with herself for ending the call with a lie. Old Becky says hi.

#chris evans x original female character #chris evans x ofc #chris evans rpf #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fic #chris evans smut #fanfic #late #fic

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iamyoursinblog · 5 years ago

Text

Find you

Pairing: Park Jinyoung x Reader x Im Jaebeom

Genre: fluff

Word Count: 3,1 k

LIST

Part: [ 1] [ 2] [ 3 ] [ 3.5 ] [ 4 ] [ ]

_____________________________

POV Jinyoung

"Run to the library quickly. You've got three seconds!" he hissed into the tube and passed out. He hid behind the book row, looking out the side of the window.

He went to the library to give the book away. Turning to the exit, girl in a red sweater catch his attention, who sitting on a table near the window. He didn't immediately believe his eyes. But it was definitely you! It was their chance with Jaebeom to meet you. So he's acting like he's in a spy movie right now. He got amused because he was acting like a teenager. A minute later, Jaebeom appeared in the doorway, breathing heavily. He ran to the door and grabbed Jaebeom for jacket dragged to the place where he was hiding before.

"What a jerk? What are you doing? Why such urgency?" Jaebeom wanted to keep talking, but Jinyoung covered his mouth with his hand.

"Shut up already!" whispered Jinyoung

He pointed with his finger on the window where you was sitting. Jaebeom turned his head and froze when he saw you. He almost laughed with Jaebeom's reaction. You really act on them just as much. He turned his eyes to you. You sat and read the book. You were wearing reading glasses, and your fingers were playing with strands of your hair. How can someone look so depraved just by reading a book in a library. He rested his forehead in Jaebeom's shoulder. How can he handle it?

"She definitely loves red," Jaebeom said, looking at you.

"Was she also in red when you first saw her? When I met her she was wearing a red dress." he replied

"When I met her, she was wearing a red suit, " said Jaebeom

"We have to approach her," he said, though he lacked the courage to do so.

"Yes, come on," Jaebeom replied. But a few minutes passed, and none of them budged. They looked at each other and giggled. They were arguing over who should go first, turning their heads, they saw that your place was empty. They ran out into the middle of the hall looking around.

"Damn, it's all your fault" Jinyoung slammed Jaebeom on the shoulder.

They ran out into the hallway. "There" Jinyoung pointed to the end of the corridor where you turned the corner. They ran there. Turning the corner, Jaebeom abruptly stopped. Jinyoung crashed into Jaebeom, causing them to fall.

"Why the hell did you stop so abruptly?" Jinyoung said shoving Jaebeom. But Jaebeom did not react at all, looking at the wall. He turned his head and sat down again on the floor, losing his balance. You stood near the wall with your arms folded on your chest, and you watched them on top of your glasses. You squatted, looking at them.

"So that's who was staring at me in the library. I think I've seen you before." "And you too" you pointed your finger at Jaebeom. "Too many coincidences to be an accident," you said before getting up.

"We liked your coffee shop. So we decided to meet each other," said Jaebeom, and got to his feet, giving Jinyoung's hand.

"And you go by promo of 1+1. Meet one, the other as a gift?" you chuckled.

"Yes, and you are against it? I think the offer is very profitable." replied Jinyoung.

"I'm sure you won't regret it" added Jaebeom

"Sorry, but we have to go, miss" the guy in the black suit appeared next to you.

"Yes, let's go," you told to the guy. "It was nice to meet them, 1+1" you looked at them from head to toe, before turning and going to the exit.

"I think we just screwed up," he laughed as he continued to look at you. He looked out the window watching you get in the car before getting out of sight. He turned and saw that Jaebeom was still looking out the window.

"But she remembered us, even though we came separately," Jaebeom turned his eyes to him. "So there's a chance."

"You don't think we've been playing in 'good guys' for too long..." he said, moving away from the window, "Come on, Mark is waiting for us."

They went to the restaurant where Mark was waiting for them. They said hello and made an order.

"Mark, remember that coffee shop you told me to go to?" asked Jaebeom.

"Yes, I thought you'd like it there, they've got a lot of interesting books." answered Mark

"Books are the only reason why you told me to go there." asked Jinyoung

"Yes, and what? You can't just get there. Nobody knows about them, only those who have been told about this by a person who has already been there can come there."

"Do you know the girl in red who works there in the second hall?" asked Jinyoung.

"I know" laughed Mark "But only she is not an employee, she is the owner."

"Tell us about her" asked Jinyoung

"Forget about it. She's not in our league. I'm even afraid to turn to her once again when she's at the bar. I've never met anyone like her. I heard that if you post on the Internet about this coffee shop, it's gone in a minute. She seems to have too much power. Even the two guys who work there, they're not bartenders, they're security guards."

"I've only seen one guy," Jaebeom said

'Me too' confirmed Jinyoung

"The second guy is on sick leave. One of the new customers recently got drunk and threw a glass in her direction, but the bartender stood in front of her and the glass crashed against his head. Usually in such cases there is began a panic, even me feel uncomfortable, but she looked like she saw it every day. A minute later, the customer was entered by security, and she calmly pulled shards of glass from his wound until an ambulance arrived." Mark shook his head "I have to go, see you later" he said, looking at his watch.

"Yes, see you" replied Jaebeom

'She's really something,' he thought to himself. And how do they deal with that. If he had the idea of hiring someone to find out more about her, now he realizes that it could be dangerous.

"Can we hire someone to find out who she is?" asked Jaebeom when Mark left.

"I've thought about it too, but now I'm not sure it's a good idea. Judging by what Mark said about her, she learns that she is being watched for 5 minutes, and in next five will know who exactly do it".

"Why don't we go to the coffee shop tomorrow?" asked Jaebeom.

"She certainly won't communicate with us there. It seems that she often visits the library, it is necessary to meet with her in neutral territory"

"It feels like we're discussing a takeover of a company, not an acquaintance with a girl." laughed Jaebeom

They came home with the hope that they could meet you again.

POV You

You were sitting in your office, the day was too busy. You smiled remembering those two guys outside the library. They seemed too innocent. You picked up the phone and dialed the number.

"My goodness. I never thought I'd be able to hear your beautiful voice again." answered male voice

"Too much sarcasm, from someone like you" you answered

"I just thought you were on the side of the angels now. Although it's safer for them if you're on their side."

"You've forgotten, I'm always on my side" you grinned.

"Closer to the point, baby. I don't think you called to find out how I was doing. Who should be found?"

"I sent pictures to your mail." You selected some screenshots from the surveillance camera in the coffee shops and clicked send.

"Ok. Will you come to see me sometime?"

"Have you forgotten? I'm kind of on the side of the angels," you said, and hung up.

A few days later you were sitting in a car looking at the pictures. 'They're really 1+1,' you thought. Always together, live together, even their families are friends. You read the name of the companies that their families own, they seemed too familiar. You took out your phone and opened your mother's letter, which had blind dating candidates. After scrolling through the list, you found two familiar names. 'Best in everything' you grinned. You kept looking at the photo, from home, from the car, from the workout, from the restaurants. You stopped at the last photo "This is more interesting" you said and laughed. You put the last photo in the envelope and put it in your bag. "Get rid of it" you passed the rest of the photos to the driver.

"Yes, Miss"

"I'll be on my own for a few days. I want to check something."

"Okay, miss. I'll be in the coffee shop. Drive your car from home?"

"My father didn't burn it after I refused to be part of the family business?"

He smiled, "He's probably still hoping that in a few years you'll change your mind. As far as I know there were no restrictions on your account"

"A couple of years? Hmm, maybe I'll change my mind" you got out of the car and went towards the library.

You've never been in a crowded place, unnecessarily. You felt like someone was looking at you all the time. When you went out and turned the corner, you heard quick steps in your direction. You wondered who might have been chasing you, so you decided to stop and see. But you didn't expect it to be your clients. You barely kept a smile when they fell in front of you. It's been a long time since you've been entertained. You've decided to see what'll happens.

You went into the library and sat down at your favorite place by the big window. You opened the book and started reading, it always calmed you down. It was a little escape to a made-up world. That's why you opened this coffee shop for those who wanted a break from the outside world.

"Excuse me, can I meet with you?" You looked away from the book and turned to the sound source. There was a nice guy in his 20s, standing in front of you, with a bright smile, holding out a drink for you. Apparently your look was too dissatisfied because you were distract from reading. That's why the guy apologized a few times and putting the drink next to you disappeared from view. You looked closely at the drink before you went back to your book. You heard laughter at the next table. Turned your head you saw two students who giggled and whispered, looking in your direction. Apparently today you will not be allowed to read quietly. You took a deep breath trying not to kill these girls mentally. You were too annoyed by the people who were discussing you behind your back, you could have seen us differently before. But as you were reminded recently, you're on the side of the angels. 'Devil pretends an angel' you laughed at the thought. After looking at the hall, you made sure that those you wanted to see were not here. You got up from your seat and went between the book rows to get the book back in place. You turned on your heels and headed for the exit. When you went into the library, you noticed a coffee shop, you decided to wait for your car there. You were hoping there wouldn't be too many people there at that time. When you got to the place, you went inside, and was happy because only a few tables were occupied. You sit on a table by the window from which you can see the parking lot, and you made an order. You feeling the vibration and picked up the phone.

"Your car will be in half an hour"

You smiled that your wait wouldn't last long.

POV Jaebeom

He was reaching the entrance to the library when he saw Jinyoung standing in front of the entrance.

"Well, what went in search?" said Jinyoung, when Jaebeom came closer.

"People already think we live in the library," he laughed. They were walking past the coffee shop when the red clothes in the window caught his attention. He didn't believe his eyes right away. You were wearing a red smock ruffle blouse and short black shorts that were naked on your beautiful legs. He stopped, but Jinyoung continued to walk towards the library. Grabbing Jinyoung by the collar he drew to himself.

"Hey, what are you doing?" said Jinyoung, stepping back.

"I think our plans have changed. Let's go and take some coffee."

"What? What coffee? Aren't we..." Jinyoung didn’t finish when he saw you in the window. "Coffee? Great idea, I really want to drink a coffee"

They went inside and quickly made an order. The hall was half empty, you were sitting on the couch at a table near the window and something looked at on the phone, with not very happy look. But then she smiled broadly, and from your smile a wave of trembling passed through his body. I think it's the first time he's seen your sincere smile. They took their order and went to your table.

"Is it not occupied?" he asked, and without waiting for an answer, they sat down on the couch opposite you.

You looked up from the phone and first looked at Jaebeom and then at Jinyoung. "You really are 1+1! But usually people wait for the answer to the question they asked before you take further action." you raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sure it's not occupied here," Jinyoung said.

"Then absolutely loses the meaning of your question, if you were sure that the place is free" you turned your eyes again to your phone.

He just loved what you said. I always left the last word behind me. He laughed.

"I think we started the wrong way," he said with a smile. "Hi. How are you?"

"Great" you answered without even looking at them.

"Isn't it customary to ask in response 'how are you' from the interlocutor" said Jinyoung, taking a sip of coffee

"Even if I'm not really interested?" you asked, finally looking at them.

"Even if you're not interested", Jaebeom smiled.

"How are you?" You fake smiled for a second

"We're great too, thank you for asking," Jinyoung replied, smiling broadly.

"We not introduced each other last time," Jaebeom said.

"Are you talking about the time when you both were lying at my feet" you grinned

"Yes, about that time" replied Jinyoung

"I know yours names"

"You know?" asked Jaebeom

"Yes, I do. 1+1!" You sent a stinging smile to them, and goosebumps ran over his skin. 'What a cute devil' he thought to himself.

Jinyoung laughed loudly, "If you like it, you can call us like that. But for help my name is Jinyoung, and this is my best friend Jaebeom"

"What's your name?" asked Jaebeom

"Why are you trying so hard to meet me?" you asked, taking the phone in your bag and completely switching your attention to them.

"We like you, " calmly replied Jinyoung

"Do you like me? Are you two?"

"Yes. Did you forget, after all, you called us 1 + 1" smiled Jaebeom

"Very interesting couple" you said your thought in loud. You looked intently first at him and then at Jinyoung.

Every time you looked at him with that glance, he seemed to fall in love more and more. "In that case, I have a couple of questions."

"Of course, ask everything you're interested in," Jinyoung replied.

"Are you gay?"

"No" they answered at the same time, and you chuckled. "We like girls. And now we like you," Jaebeom added.

"Are you bisexual?"

"No" they answered and looked at each other

"This time the answer was less confident. Perhaps you yourself do not know the exact answer to it." you said carefully watching their every move. "Have you kissed?" you asked, pointing your finger at them

"No" they answered again together. He heard the vibration of your phone before you took it out of your bag. You picked up the phone, but you didn't produce a word, you just looked out the window and nodded. He looked out the window, too, and saw a guy in a black suit, the same guy they saw in the library hallway.

"Then the last question. Did you want to kiss each other?" your view has changed, now he would have called it piercing through.

"No" they almost responded together, and he was glad that his answer coincided with Jinyoung's response.

You smirked and got out of your seat. So without saying anything, you're gone.

"See you " said Jinyoung to you after

For a few minutes they sat in silence, watching you leave the window. He still felt a tremor in his body from your gaze. Each time your presence caused indescribable emotions. He turned his eyes to Jinyoung and saw all the same emotions on his face as he was experiencing himself.

"I wonder if it's progress?" he said, "She spoke to us, but we still not knew her name."

Jinyoung laughed at his words. "I think it can definitely be called progress"

They had coffee and headed for the exit.

"Sorry" to them spoke the girl behind the bar. "Before going out, the girl you were sitting with asked to pass it on to you" she held out a white envelope and he took it

"Thank you" smiled Jinyoung

He turned the envelope over and saw the inscription in beautiful handwriting:

"Are you sure the answer to the last question is 'no'?"

He opened the envelope and the cold walked through his veins, chaining his whole body in a tight knot when he saw a photograph. It was a screenshot from a surveillance camera. In the pictures, he pressed Jinyoung against a wall in a dark corridor, and their faces were only a few centimetres apart.

"We seem to be in trouble," he said, handing over an envelope with a photo of Jinyoung.

'It's time to stop playing honestly,' he thought. He glanced again at the photograph which jinyoung held with trembling hands, and his face was an unreadable mask.

"Let's go" he put his arms around Jinyoung's shoulders, and headed for the exit. "I think we've been at the club in a long time ago"

_____________________________

LIST

Part: [ 1] [ 2] [ 3 ] [ 3.5 ] [ 4 ] [ ]

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b00bconnoisseur · 6 years ago

Text

60 questions for @not-my-brain

1. selfie.......Ugghhhh ok. Imma take one rn

Ok here u go (yes thats a bmth shirt)

2. what would you name your future kids?.....Ooo hmmm well when i was a kid i really liked the names disney, and mesiah. I didn't know at the time that mesiah was another name for god i think lol. I liked it cause of handlers mesiah. I still do. Ooo and maybe Tj too

3. do you miss anyone?......Yeah. My friends on Pinterest from a year ago. My friend lucas. Stan lee. Bob ross. My cousin who died from cancer some years ago. Snape. Sirius. Lupin. Tonks. Dobby. *continues to name every unfortunate death in hp*

4. what are you looking forward to?.......SE-YA next month!! Its the south eastern young adult festival at this college. You can have meet n greets with authors and alot of stuff its the besstttt

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?......DEFINATELY. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @sammchenry my friend lucas and @septembersbloom. ^^

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?..... What like...romantically? Or like a death? If romantically uhhh idk it took over a couple weeks but im ok now. Ive never had another relationship so idk. If death oof yeah idk maybe. Ig it depends on how much i knew them idk. Like when my nanny (great grandma) died i was sad for days (is that alot?)

7. what was your life like last year?.....Sucky af. Still is. But the highlights of my life last year was getting and making friends on tumblr, going to the tøp concert and going to warped tour, volunteering at the library, going to seya and meeting some of my favorite authors, reading, changing and improving my art, listening to all the bands i listen to now, getting into more fandoms, going to a friends house for the first time

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?.......Yes lol. Some years ago when i couldn't find smtn id be so annoyed and pissed id start crying. I dont now but still lol

9. who did you last see in person?.......Hm ig family doesn't count....? Wait do u mean a friend? If so uhh my friends rebekah, anika, and Judah at a TAB meeting at the library sometime last month.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?......I think so? Like i mean I can hide whenever i get my....time of the month from my mom (talking abt stuff like that with her makes me uncomfortable) and i hid a breakup. And other p big stuff too. So imma say yeah

11. are you listening to music right now?........*pops on earbuds after reading this* yee im listening to bitch lasagna by pewdiepie xD (do i have the best spotify playlist or what?)

12. what is something you want right now?.......To hug @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye but SOMEONE has to live so far away

13. how do you feel right now?........Happy that my earbud still works cause they got washed in the wash yesterday....oops. Its not my fault. I told my dad to remind me to take it out of my jacket pocket before they threw it in but noooooo he forgot

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?.......Uhhhhh fuck idk it was probably from my lil 4 yr old bro sometime last week. Other than him (hes my favorite sibling) i dont let them hug me too much

15. personality description.......Nerdy. Fangirl. "Emo". Tomboy. Hotsause obsessed. Book lover. Music lover. Black. Blue. Harry potter. Introvert. Fall. Sports. Values friendship. Loyal. Uhhhh i cant think of much lol

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?.......*sigh* yes. Yes yes yes. Theres some things abt me, or my life really, that i havent told anyone on here or my irl friends that i sooooo want to so bad but i haven't cause i feel like they'd feel bad and pity me and i don't want that

17. opinion on insecurities........I dont really understand this one. Everyones insecure abt something. Is this askin like if i think its ok or not? I say its ok. Im insecure about literally everything about me. My face. My personality. My socialness. My art. What i do. What i say. Basically my whole body. The things i feel good abt are my books, music taste, and my friends (ily fuckers)

18. do you miss how things were a year ago?.........Hmm this time around a year ago....idk its sorta the same but all the stuff i mentioned abt my year from last year didn't happen yet so nah tho my life sucks rn its better than this time last year

19. have you ever been to New York?........Nooo but i want too soo baddd i wanna visit @septembersbloom !! Im coming for ya soon gramps *does the eye watching thing* my dads been to nyc before tho cause he does construction and he had a concrete job to do there. It was a 23 hr drive for him

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?........Uhhh idk!!! So hard! Maybe.....the whole thats the spirit album by bmth ;)

21. age and birthday?.....15 yrs of age and September 27th 2003 (whats yours brainy? I'll put it on my calendar)

22. description of crush......Its weird idk im not sure if its a genuine crush or not but uh....They like hp :).Thats all u get

23. fear(s).......Losing my best friend @dirtysocke and my other friends. Death. Failure. Momo chasing after me then killing me slowly keeping my eyes open to look her dead in the eyes while i die

24. height......5'6 call me short and I'll fuck u up with THIS *pulls out trusty potato peeler named now steve* dont test me boi

25. role model......Hhhhhhhh so many! But uh gosh one of them is @superraedizzle (youtuberrrr) and vexx and bob ross and da vinci and aaaaaaa so many

26. idol(s)......First person that immediately comes to mind is @sammchenry cause he's super cool and he's really nice and his art's reallyyy good (if u havent seen it w-w-what are u even doin with your life?) And he has a great sense of humor and *continues to ramble about why samms the best*

27. things i hate.......Dabs. Transphobes. Homophobic ppl. Basically any hate on the lgbtq+ community. Bullies. The ship starker. Umbridge. Snape haters

28. i’ll love you if….....U you'll eat pizza, draw, and rp harry potter with mee

29. favourite film(s)......Fantastic beasts. Every hp film. Twilight. The maze runner 1-2. The hunger games. Spiderman homecoming. Kingsman: secret service. Into the spideyverse tho i havent seen it yet

30. favourite tv show(s)......Inkmasterrrrr. B99. The mick. The middle. Uhhh idk mostly ink master xD

31. 3 random facts........Ive never had shrimp. I had a beta fish for over a year once. Im eating pizza crust rn

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?.......G i r l s. I have all girl friends irl and one boy. And on tumblr it seems like i just meet girls? Likei agree with @cristal-kyd1280 its like alot more gals then dudes here. But i do have some guy friends on here too. But mostly girls

33. something you want to learn.......TO DRAW ANATOMY DAMMIT

34. most embarrassing moment........Every moment of my lifes an embarrassing moment. Idk of i can pick a "most" embarrassing one. But one time i i sent my crush (now ex bf) a hey fuckface and like some hearts or whatever for an ask game that meant like "i have a crush on u" "youre adorable" etc and said Hewo but i did it all anonymously. But he confronted me askin if i sent it cause im the only person he knows that actually says hewo lol. Then later on i finally admitted i really liked him and well y'all know the story after i think. Unless you're new

35. favourite subject.......A R TTTT OFC

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?........meet my friends on tumblr. Get into mtsu (college i wanna go to) and study art. And go skydiving

37. favourite actor/actress........favorite actor uhhhhhh probably thomas brodie sangster or tom felton and my favorite actress? Hmmm idk maybe evanna lynch (luna lovegood)

38. favourite comedian(s).......probably kevin hart lol he's p funny

39. favourite sport(s)........basketballllllll and football

40. favourite memory........uhhhhh idk?? One oh my favorite memories was when we went to see tøp in concert

41. relationship status.....single as a pringle

42. favourite book(s)......harry potter and the order of the pheonix. Harry potter and the half blood prince. Simon vs the homo sapiens agenda. Divergent. Maze runner. Twilight. Fangirl. Fallen. Red queen

43. favourite song ever.......TOO HARD DONT MAKE ME CHOOSEEEEEE

44. age you get mistaken for.........16 and 17 sometimes lol

45. how you found out about your idol........i was watching someone on yt and superraedizzle always poped up in my feed and my mom turned on one of her vids cause she always saw her vids too now ive seen most of em i love her. Id heard of vexx but never watched him and i was watching a collab from anthony miller art and shrimpy and i checked out shrimpys channel and was lookin at comments and alot of ppl said his art is like vexxs so i checked out vexx. At first i was like eh ok. Now i cant click fast enough when he posts a vid. And i actually fpund out about bob ross from my grandpa on jan 20 2017 when trump was getting sworn in or whatever. We turned on pbs and my grampa told me to look and bob ross was on and i was IN. I loved it. I even started watching full episodes on YouTube of the joy of painting after that. Wonderful man. My first painting i ever did i think was when i followed one of his tutorials xD (i didnt know it was popular at the time)

46. what my last text message says......."ok your turn"

47. turn ons.....uhh nerds ig idk um book lovers, music lovers, art lovers, potterheads, idk and nice ppl

48. turn offs......jerks. Homophobia. Idk ig whatever i said in things i hate

49. where i want to be right now......uhhhh idk wait didn't i already answer this? Ok this ones different ig so uhh with my friend lucas

50. favourite picture of your idol.....oh shit...favorite? Idk xD i have a fave of vexx but not of rae or bob. But heres pics of them any way

51. starsign......a libraaaaa boiii

52. something i’m talented at......drawing and speed reading. Thats about it lol. Oh and procrastina

53. 5 things that make me happy.......ooooo art, my friends here on tumblr, books, harry potter, and music ^^

54. something thats worrying me at the moment.....if my friend thinks im being annoying

55. tumblr friends......hhhhh so manyyyyyy. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @chinesewaffles2 @kingantlion @queen-baelin @sammchenry @septembersbloom and more

56. favourite food(s)......green beans, pepperoni pizza, and vanilla madelines

57. favourite animal(s).......basically any reptile. Puppies. Cats. Any animal really but my #1 are snakes

58. description of my best friend.....well she's a tiny bean (5 feet) and she has dark hair, she wears glasses, she doesnt take shit, she's in love with Josh dun, she's awesome, funny, nice (YES youre nice jackie) and shes the best friend ive ever had. Oh. And she has a weird obsession with spaghetti

59. why i joined tumblr.......well i heard abt it on Pinterest over a year ago but didnt want it. Then @mrfastbass-deactivated20181231 on DeviantArt said he got tumblr so i made one then followed him and figured id just post art and that's it cause i thought tumblr was boring as hell when i first got it. Now im p much obsessed with it

60. ask me anything you want.......go ahead brainy shoot. Give me smtn good

#my face #mutual peeps #not-my-brain #asks #60 questions

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mibombon · 6 years ago

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His name is Ryan

On our first date, we took a walk on the beach. He made me feel comfortable. It was the first time after my divorce that I went on a date. The crazy thing is that I wasn’t nervous, anxious or afraid.

On our second date, he took me on a motorcycle ride. At the red light, he reached back and put his hand on my lap. That made my heart melt. I felt those butterflies again.

On our third date, we went to Vons to buy ingredients for him to cook dinner for us. He made a delicious angel pasta with artichokes, capers and other ingredients that I wasn’t used to eating. He introduced me to something new. I asked him to make it spicy which for him it was but I could hardly taste any heat. He was turning red. Looking at his rosy face I looked into his clear greenish hazel eyes. After dinner, he leaned in to kiss me.

What are you doing? I was trying to kiss you. silence This is awkward. You made it awkward.

Gosh, I was so nervous I had never kissed anyone else in 8 years! Finally, after that awkward moment, I let him kiss me. He made me feel like I was a bad kisser because it never felt natural. Was I just used to the way I kissed that other person? or was I really a bad kisser? was he the bad kisser? Turns out that being a bad kisser wasn't the only issue.

He invited me to go to the desert for the night and ride his buggy. Why not?! We headed towards the desert and stopped at a casino on the way. The security guard informed him that there was a place to off-road about 5 minutes from the casino. He gave him so vague directions while I waited for Ryan in the car. When he told me we would go there instead I said ok. We got lost in the middle of nowhere, pitch dark, in narrow roads, I had no idea where we were. Because he was driving I was in charge of directions. Directions to where? This place someone just told you about? I wasn’t even there to recall the directions he gave you! And I’m expected to find it? I explained this to him. I have no idea where I am. I didn’t sign up to go on an expedition to a place you have no knowledge of. I signed up to join you to a place where you knew how to get to. After being lost for a while he decided we were turning back and he would drop me off and head home. He told me didn't have the patience to teach me everything. That he wanted someone who already knew these things and he wouldn't need to teach them. Because he can't carry the weigh for both of us. And if we were to get into an accident off-roading he needed someone who knew what to do. I appreciate you honestly dude but you know from the start I didn’t know how to ride and that you would have to teach me. You know it. I told you. You invited me because you wanted to show me a part of your world and along the way teach me. I was willing to learn. He made me feel stupid. But you know nothing about me. You have no idea how fucken strong I am. What I’m capable of. We didn't speak all the way home. He dropped me off and I said I’m sorry I ruined your night. He said it's ok, it’s not your fault.

I really liked this guy. I still think he is so handsome. Tall, beautiful eyes, beard, dog lover, and I loved the way he called me darling.

But he was really tough, he had a crazy childhood in the foster care system. I understand he had to be tough to survive in that environment. In a way he made me feel guilty for having a childhood with my parents around. I wouldn't say a normal childhood because let's face it how do you define a normal childhood? He made it seem like I grew up sheltered and didn’t know anything about the real world. But just because he is so tough doesn’t mean I have to be. I think that was the issue, he saw me as a weak. I wish he would have given me time to prove him wrong. Most importantly I learned to always be authentic with myself first.

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todokori-kun · 8 years ago

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Thor is that embarrassing big brother who always ruins your moments. Even when he’s not there. Everybody’s like ‘oh it’s thor’s evil little brother’ lol

Yeah, for some reason I can’t find any pictures of Loki from the side/back either (I mean ones showing his whole body)…not that I’d really be able to tell even if I did find one, but still. It’s like the internet somehow knows that the fangirls would go crazy over it and is hiding it on purpose.

A lot of people complained about Bruce/Nat coming completely out of the blue and I guess it kinda did, but I still like it :) other than Pepper/Tony, it seems like the only romantic couple Marvel got right, because Marvel is notorious for messing up the romance.

SPOILER

They made Steve hook up with Peggy’s NIECE in Civil War

Darcy and Sif are best girls in Thor 2. Frigga is queen. Like you said, I feel like Jane is quite flat and don’t actually 'like’ her, but I have a small soft spot for her for two reasons: because I feel like she could have been a cool, unique character if they’d given her a chance, and because NATALIE PORTMAN. I haven’t really watched any of her movies but she's a great actress.

And yes, Frigga dies in Thor 2.

Loki completely breaks down.

SPOILER

since the last thing he said to her was 'You’re not my mother’

Oh, I see ^^;; whoops. And YES. MCU actually fits really well with Hamilton…and the thought of Loki singing 'My mother was a genius’ now that Frigga is dead ;-; my heart

Wait a sec, though. Who’s Theodosia?

And I know you said you don’t ship anything yet, but there’s this really great (but really long) series on ao3 called 'Remember This Cold’ for Steve/Loki…I recommend that even if you don’t ship it, because it features one of the most realistic redemption arcs for Loki. It’s beautiful to watch (read?) as he steadily learns to accept Steve’s help as the genuine caring it is instead of an attempt to manipulate him.

Awww that sounds adorable <3 let them be happy for once (I seem to say that a lot nowadays haha)

Well, Steve would look adorable. I’d still look like a drunk octopus.

(But is Luna the type who would silently coo over the pictures/videos she secretly took of the OTP, or is she the type who would call Tony and Natasha over like 'LOOK AT THESE DORKS’. I’d die of embarrassment if it’s the latter)

He charmed you with his glowstick of destiny. That’s how he became your problematic fave.

*ugly crying* that is possibly one of the nicest things anybody outside of my family has ever said to me in my life <3 *hugs*

We all have our insecurities, but trust me, Queen Luna, you’re awesome. You’re great to talk to, your writing is lovely, you make the best fluffy headcanons, and you’re also seriously smart and dedicated to everything you do! :D

PAIN!

You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

Pain!

You break me down, you built me up, believer, believer

Pain!

I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain

My life, my love, my drive, it came from

Pain!

You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

You learned archery? That’s so cool! I wanted to learn when I was younger but…I don’t really even remember why I didn't get to XD I do know that protecting your arm is important though.

Btw, I think you forgot to answer my question about character theme songs/playlists(?) ^^;; anyway, is it ok to send some?

I would be salty as well if everyone only knew me by my older sister. And if they always compared me to her. So I understand Loki’s salt about that, wholeheartedly.

After another fruitless search, I caved and opened incognito mode, typing ‘loki’s butt’. AND I STILL GOT NOTHING. I did get Steve’s behind, tho. It’s a good behind ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The problem with Loki is that his cape covers the glorious butt he’s been burdened with. Maybe in some other sequel? Like Ragnarok? I mean, problematic fave did appear (for 5 seconds at most), and you could still practically hear the panties dropping from all over the world. And don’t get me started on the comments on the gifs or the trailer itself XD

Since I watched Ultron (where they have a very close relationship) without watching the previous movies, I just assumed they had a close relationship established in one of them and rolled with it. Besides, ‘tis cute. She can calm down the ‘Other One’.

They what. Now that’s just messed up. Messed up bigtime. Didn’t Steve see his love in one of the movies, where she was old and gray and pretty much dead? Which part of him thought ‘kk, you’re the niece of my ex who’s now wrinkly, Imma sleep with you’. That’s just overstepping the line.

Isn’t Jane the reason all the shit in Thor 2 happens? like, she touches the aether and shit ensues (i hate the spoiler minefield that is tumblr) I just feel like she should’ve gotten more personality traits other than ‘likes astronomy’ and ‘likes thor’. That’s all I understood about her from the first movie.

Well, shit. The only person who genuinely cared for Loki dies. And his last words to her.... He’s becoming a bit of a too problematic fave.

Theodosia the wife or Theodosia the kid? His spear? Idk, is there anyone he actually cares for other than himself??

I’ll try to read it once holidays start ^^ I really want to see the Loki redemption arcs! And the new potential rarepair is calling my name...

Loki does deserve happiness. He’s done a lot (A LOT) of shit, but it is the consequence of his upbringing. Now, I’m not defending him, or saying he should’ve done what he did, I’m just saying that it might not entirely be his fault. Ok, now imagine this: Loki with glasses (i like guys with glasses shhhhh)

Depending on my relationship with the person, I can be both types ;) But if I know it embarrasses you, I’ll keep it to myself (most of the time :P) However, if it’s a really cutesy scene, I’d just forward it to you with a caption like <(￣︶￣)>

That must be it! The stupid spear’s the reason for all of this. I’ll hold it responsible and break it the next time I see it. How much damage do you think that would do to Loki’s powers and/or pride? It’d probably damage his pride more than anything.

Also, I am nOT CRYING, NOT AT ALL TT_TT

Yep, I did. I read about it in a book and was like ‘OK THIS IS MY NEW HOBBY, NO QUESTIONS ASKED!’. I still have my bow, I just don’t use it. My good, trusty compound. oh god i’ll always remember the bruises I got from when I forgot to put the elbow guard/put it on the wrong way. It seriously hurts like a bitch if the bowstring slaps you.

I’m always open to anything you want to submit ^^ That includes the songs/playlists. In fact, I’d be grateful to have something new to listen to.

Last things last By the grace of the fire and the flames You're the face of the future, the blood in my veins, oh-ooh The blood in my veins, oh-ooh But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing Inhibited, limited 'Til it broke open and rained down It rained down, like...

#evans #submission

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somepinkthing · 5 years ago

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Apologizing was not the point. Like I said above, the point was for kyo to have an actual conversation with people that I felt he might have benefitted from talking to. I felt like all of kyo's story focused in on romance and his romantic relationships driving him and here was a chance to showcase some of the less romantic relationships and making amends with them. A sign that he'd stop pushing people away, that he was no longer afraid to be honest with people about his feelings. And not people like his father or the rest of the sohma clan, but those who have proven themsleves willing to fight through all the family BS and see kyo. Just as kyo did for them to an extent.

And while I understand where you're coming from, I don't agree with the idea of blaming the children for what they couldn't do for each other. I get it: the idea of the cats room is so abnormal so why tf is everyone acting like it's ok??? Even kazuma doesn't seem all that bothered by it. Even kyo seems too understanding of it!!! Like that's not normal!!! Why is everyone treating it like it's normal?? Well. Environment. Akito locked yuki up and horribly abused him and no one batted an eyelash for like a decade, not even his own parents or brother. Akito blinded hatori and, despite everyone feeling bad for hatori, no one seemed to want to hold akito accountable. Rin's parents sent her to the hospital and instead of having them arrested, the family just told them they were gonna ship their daughter away to another family ON THE SAME COMPOUD and that, unfortunately, they wouldn't be paid anymore for raising the horse. Everyone just accepted keeping away from the previous cat. Everyone just accepted the zodiac's parents treating their kids like shit. No one in the compound lifted a finger to help kisa, rin, kureno, or hiro whenever akito was abusing them. No one questioned that yuki and kyo were just supposed to come back to their abuser on new years after only a year of being away from them. In fact, it had been considered rude that they didn't want to. No one questioned these children's injuries, no one confronted akito about it, no one cared

My point is, the sohma's have very much created this culture of acceptance. Anything bad that happens is immediately shoved to the side. For example, do you really think momiji's acceptance of his own mother forgetting him was normal??? He was so quick to just accept that that's how things are. It's because he's part of the zodiac. It's part of the curse. Just like anytime anything goes badly for them, the kids are told it's part of the curse. Suck it up. You're fortunate. There's a price. And protection? It's amazing to me that these kids developed any protective instincts at all. The fact that they managed to band together and help each other at all is incredible because they certainly didn't learn that from their environment, the one where they can literally be punished horribly for making friends. And not just with outsiders either, with each other. Hatsuharu and rin had to hide the fact that they spoke to yuki. Hatsuharu and rin had to hide that they spoke to each other too. Hiro and kisa come to mind as well. Ayame knew that if he didn't let akito have yuki, then he'd be next on the hit list. And how normal is that, right? But again, everyone accepted it. Loneliness is part of the curse and has nothing to do with the fact that your family consists of a bunch of shitheads

And the messed up part is that you might have a point, despite us disagreeing about where the real fault lies. These kids were definitely made to contribute in each others' abuse. Kagura was a young girl and she was told that she should look down on the cat so she did. The guilt of doing that consumed the majority of her childhood. She's got a good moral sense but she wasn't discerning enough to pick out the lies she had been told when she was little and she ended up using and hurting kyo because of that naivete. Yuki, momiji, and hatsuharu didn't look down on kyo as far as I could tell, but they didn't help him for a long time either. They had already learned helplessness by the time they were old enough to understand. What could they do if they couldn't even help themselves? What could they say against hundreds of years of "tradition"? Not to mention, yuki's own situation made helping even more impossible. And that helplessness stuck to them even when they got a little more freedom. So they stood by. Kyo was told from a young age that his life was awful because of the rat so of course he hated yuki. But that ultimately made him a big contributer to yuki's emotional abuse. Again, what was the reason? What reason was there for kyo to act like that besides him being constantly told by adults that that's how things are between him and "the fortunate rat"? And what could a child do or say against that? And how young was hatori when he was made to erase the memories of yuki's friends or momiji's mother? But he felt he "had to". Why? Because that's his role? And that's the thing with toxic environments. From a distance, it's like. Why didn't you say something here? Why didn't you do this? Why did you allow this to happen to you? To others? Even those involved ask themselves these things once they get some distance. And the answer always boils down to fear. If I had to choose a word for the atmosphere of the sohma house, it'd be fear.

But as shitty as all that is, the children infested by that environment aren't at fault. They had to learn from that casual acceptance, it was all they had growing up. As people like yuki, kyo, hatsuharu, and ayame got some distance, they began to see how screwed up that all was. And yeah, hatsuharu acted out brashly. I pointed that out to showcase that perhaps that confidence to rebel like that partially had to do with him having a more stable home environment than most of the others. It wasn't to say that hatsuharu managed to do everything and anything for everyone, but I won't criticize him (or any of the other zodiac kids) for not doing more. First of all, it shouldn't be on a 17 year old to fight off waves of abuse for his friends. Second of all, from what I recall of haru's family, he couldn't count on them to protect him if it all went wrong. And really, that's the case for all of the zodiac kids. There exists this underlying understanding that no one can protect them from akito or from the rest of the family. The people who are supposed to protect them either will not try or will fail. And that feeling that no one can keep them safe follows them in all of their actions

I will maintain that the adults hold the fault in this situation. Like I said, the children saved themselves. It wasn't perfect. They were scared the while way. They could have stood up for each other more, been more understanding, been more aggressive. They could have done better. But that's exactly why you don't have abused teenagers be the ones to tackle these issues. That should have been a job for adults, people with means and experience, not some snot-nosed kids still stuck in the trenches. The oldest among them was still in high school when all the shit hit the fan. This wasn't supposed to be their job for a good reason. None of them "messed up" with how they handled the situation as much as they were set up for failure from the start and did the best they could despite that

So no. An apology might not have been what was needed. I still feel that, between the kids, they might benefit from at least acknowledging the ways they were awful to each other but also the ways they tried to help. Again, the apology wasn't the point. Whether or not anyone apologized wasn't the important part. The point was that I felt that we should have seen more of kyo's relationships outside of romance. To see him reconciling with the other kids or kazuma. And yeah, I understand the impact of an open ended ending and I have no complaints about that. But maybe the reboot will show us more of the conversations. Especially between kyo and yuki. If any conversation would have included apologies, it'd be theirs. And yet, maybe not. After everything they've been through, after all the this time.... maybe apologizing to each other would be distasteful. But a conversation would still be nice. Kyo explaining to yuki how he made him feel and about the bet with akito would be nice. Yuki explaining to kyo how he made him feel, especially when they were younger, and about what exactly he admired about kyo to the point of envy would be nice too. And I'm not really mad we didn't get to see it. But I still wish we could have

It's excellent writing, excellent world building, excellent understanding of how people react to abuse, and excellent understanding of how a toxic environment really twists kids up so much so that even if they understand what's wrong they're helpless to change it. And I guess I really just wanted more because of how good the writing was

Does it bother anyone else that the only one of his cousins that kyo is shown apologizing for his behavior to and pointedly making peace with is kagura?? What about yuki, the kid you’ve been using as an unwilling emotional outlet since childhood?? What about hatsuharu, someone who’s tried to be a friend to you despite the emotional whiplash? What about momiji, that kid you treat as a nuiscance but has always tried to help you out? Even kazuma for worrying him? Anyone else!? Because objectively kagura is the one person deserves the one-on-one conversation with kyo the least out of all of the younger gen of the zodiac??? Wth???? Like scrap the apology even, there are people deserve at least hear an explanation WAY MORE than kagura does.

I’m not saying kyo shouldn’t have talked to kagura. Her confession and apology was important. Kyo’s acknowledgment of her positive impact on his life despite all the family drama in the background was important. BUT I am saying that if he was going to be shown explaining himself to one of his cousins–make peace with any member of his family–then it probably should have been either yuki or momiji imo. They were two people whom kyo did not really treat well but still busted some serious ass the last half of the series trying to get him on the right track AND had a serious impact on kyo’s life. If anyone deserved a resolution with kyo, it was those two!! And it would have been nice to see kyo have an open conversation with them as a signal of better things to come. Yeah, it probably happened in the background…… but couldn’t his conversation with kagura be the one in the background instead? I mean, I would have been much more interested in kyo’s apology to some of the others than “sorry I don’t like you back, kagura aka something I’ve been consistently making clear to you since we were young but is only now being taken seriously because I like someone else”

#long post #WOW THAT GOD DEEP #and probably way too personal #but imma keep it. i typed it already #fb meta

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