#it's not like imndy gets lots of engagement anyway lol

[bambiraptorx]

Draxum's hands were shaking. Badly, Raph noted, staring at the noticeable tremors in the yokai's hands.

[TW: self-destructive behaviors, eating issues/implied disordered eating]

He'd seen Draxum's hands shake before, back in his own time, when the Hidden City was first discovered by the Kraang and quickly overwhelmed with all the hounds and mechs and zombies they could throw at it, and the Resistance had to declare the ruins unsalvageable, not worth trying to win back.

He'd seen them shake when Casey had returned a month after being declared missing in action (declared dead in all but the use of that word; all M.I.A. meant anymore was that there was no body to bury), not only alive and minimally injured, but hauling a four-month-old baby in a makeshift sling.

He'd seen them shake when he'd woken up from an artificial, anesthesia-induced slumber, a grey, lonely night with no stars, to see the face of the man who'd had to amputate his hand and tell him, "you barely survived as it is, Raphael," a heavy guilt weighing down his shoulders and carving new lines into his face.

He didn't know why they were shaking now. He focused on the vials Draxum held, ingredients for some chemical or other he needed to synthesize, seemingly vibrating as a result of the trembling hands that held them. Was it exhaustion? When did Draxum start working today?

When was the last time he had a meal?

Raph voiced his thoughts.

"I'm not hungry," came the answer, not enough in and of itself to give Raph what he needed to know, if not for everything he knew about the person Draxum was. Is. Would one day be?

"Draxum. That's not what I asked you." Raph reached out hesitantly, ready to withdraw his hand if it was rejected. The scientist didn't respond, at least not immediately, his back to Raph even as his hands still shook.

Something in Draxum's shoulders relaxed--not truly relaxed, so much as lost the tension holding him stiff and upright--and he sighed. "I can't stop now. There's too much I still need to do." His hair lay limp and matted against his back, greasy from lack of washing.

How long had Draxum been doing this? Destroying himself? How long had Raph not noticed it?

"Just a quick break," Raph tried. "Get a small meal in and get back to work after that."

A sharp headshake. "I can't--I can't. If I stop now, I'll lose all momentum--I have so much I need to do tonight--and I've gotten behind over the last few weeks, I can't fall behind my schedule any further, and besides, I haven't earned it yet--"

Suddenly Draxum whirled around, the vials in his hands dangerously close to spilling. "All of yokai-kind is depending on me. I can't let them down. I can't let more lives be lost! Too much is at stake here to simply take a break!"

The picture was familiar, heart-achingly so. It only took a flicker of imagination to superimpose Raph's own brother, to replace Draxum's desperate, bloodshot eyes with Donnie's wide, worried ones. The concerns were practically identical: the certainty-laced fear that rest now would be paid for later in agony and blood.

"What's yokai-kind gonna do if you work yourself to death?" Raph replied, as gently as he could, reaching out for the vials Draxum gripped so tightly. "Whatever you're doing here, who's gonna do it if you can't? Me? You know I'm not a science guy, Drax."

There's so much weight on your shoulders, Dad, Raph thought. Let me help you carry it.

Raph took hold of one of the vials, tugging gently. At first, it seemed as though Draxum wouldn't let go, that he would hold on even tighter, chase Raph out of the room and return to killing himself slowly. But after a few seconds, the scientist's trembling hand loosened, allowing Raph to slide the glass from between his fingers and set it back in the holder. He took the second with no resistance, and did the same.

Raph allowed himself a small smile, a tiny flicker of the ever-present tension between his shoulders melting away. "Okay, Draxum. Let's get you some food, maybe a nap, and see how you're doing after that."

This mad scientist at least, he could help.