#it's not just my body. I'm not even the only host. I can't predict what the host lineup will look like a few years down the line

[straydogged]

I am 🤡 so incredibly dysphoric

[moderator-monnie]

Before The Ritual (A COTH Story)

Dr. Ivo Robotnik, otherwise known as Dr. Eggman, was currently sitting in his lab, infuriated as always. He threw some papers off his desk and sighed heavily.

One hand was on his chin, and the other was tapping against his table, mumbling some things to himself quietly.

"Drat that damn hedgehog... Always getting in the way of my plans, he is truly a worthy adversary, but if I want to get rid of him for good, I need the ultimate plan! What haven't I tried? What could I use? Now that is the question at the end of the day."

"Perhaps a doomsday device? Hmm, not too predictable. Maybe I could touch upon the metal virus in a new light? ... No. Not too dangerous. I made some mistakes with that attempt. I didn't even think about my own safety."

"Maybe upgrade Metal Sonic or bring Tails Doll and Mecha Knuckles out of retirement? Could I even make some robot copies of the rats' other friends? That lemur would make an interesting machine. NO NO, none of these plans work!"

He soon laid back in his chair, rubbing his temples. He didn't want to work himself, but Sonic was a powerful foe and quite intelligent too, even if Eggman wouldn't admit it out loud.

"Just what can I do? What would really wow him? WHAT CAN BEAT HIM FOR GOOD? THERE MUST BE SOMETHING I'VE MISSED, IN MY RESEARCH OF MOBIUS!!! AN ULTIMATE WEAKNESS!"

Suddenly, a red light flashed in the room, and Sage appeared, sitting on his work bench, kicking her legs before clearing her throat with a gentle smile and a wave and speaking. "Hello Father, I see you are stressed over finding a way to, and I quote, 'crush that blasted hedgehog' may I offer my assistance?"

Eggman sat up in his chair, letting out a hearty chuckle before looking at his AI daughter. He took her words carefully and rubbed his chin before responding. "Ah, hello, Sage. Hello, it's nice to see you. You know what? You might just be what I need; a fresh eye on things would definitely help me figure out exactly what I need to defeat Sonic once and for all."

Eggman put his hands together, striking a pose. "You have access to my data banks along with the internet, correct?"

Sage nodded softly. She then teleported away, inserting herself into the main computer and combing through it rather quickly.

A sudden dinging noise was heard, and Eggman could see some files being downloaded, but he allowed time for Sage to explain what they were for.

"Father, I have discovered something you may have overlooked. You are aware of Grandfather Gerald Robotnik's research into the gods of Mobius and of humanity, correct?"

Eggman's eyebrows rose, wondering where his daughter was going with this, but he was quite curious as well. "Why, yes, Sage, I'm aware of all this; why did you bring it up? I've tried using god-like creatures against Sonic before, like with Dark Gaia and Chaos."

Sage soon pulled up some semi-corrupted files she had dug up. She is in the deepest parts of the internet, and Eggman's own files are on the main computer screen.

"Well, Father, you may have overlooked something. Its origins are not exactly clear. It's commonly unknown if humanity or Mobians discovered this entity, but unlike many other gods of Mobius and Earth, this one has not only been proven to exist to some extent."

"This God, or rather god-like entity, can control dreams themselves and is not physical, at least not without a host body to call its own; it has the ability to interact with solid objects, but with a host body, epically one with a high enough chaos energy.

And given enough time. This entity could possibly even put all of Mobius into a slumber of its own control, one they can't wake up from without its consent."

Eggman began to smirk very widely as he got up out of his chair and looked at the screen widely, seeing all the files Sage showed him.

"What a very interesting find, Sage! I'm very proud of you, but what makes you think we can control it and have it help us get rid of Sonic?"

Sage blushed. She had stars in her eyes for a moment; she was always happy to have her father be proud of her, but she soon cleared her throat and continued.

"Ahem, ah, right, you are father. The reason why I believe this entity would help us is due to its documented nature. It has been shown in the past to love pure chaos, and what would be more chaotic than helping you take over the world?

"Sonic would have no way to stop it either, due to it being far more powerful than him. And Sonic can't simply attack something while he's asleep now, can he, Father?"

He nodded along, listening closely before using a virtual glove he made to be able to pat Sage on the head softly, and then sat back down, carefully reading all the information Sage had brought up.

"Correct, you are Sage; that hedgehog would stand no chance of something he can't even interact with. I shall begin preparations. I see this 'god' has some ties to the chaos emeralds. 

So perhaps I can build a new robot, one that can harness chaos energy without directly needing the emerald, in order to create the perfect host for our friend to take possession of, and with us working together, friends can finally win! I'll need to be careful though and build in some safety features so I can control the robot once our friend takes it's new body."

"Though I shouldn't make the controls too obvious, otherwise strike this 'god's ire."

With a few clicks on the screen, a few images and historical documents showed up, revealing something quite interesting to the doctor himself.

A strange golden arch was under the site where Angel Island once stood, back when it was just a normal land mass.

"How in sweet mother Gaia did I ever miss such a thing during my many trips to Angel Island?"

He zoomed in on the photos, inspecting them closely, and wrote a few things down on his notepad. Not much information seems to be known about this historical sight, but a few tablets were recovered from the sight itself, written in a language similar to the ancients themselves but different.

All Eggman could gather from the rough translations he could figure out was one word: 'Zepperaith'. He would need to travel to the historical site, inspect this golden arch up close, and figure out its secrets.

"Zepperaith... I will unleash you upon this land, and SONIC THE HEDGEHOG WILL BE GONE FOREVER!"

Dr. Eggman began to laugh loudly, with Sage joining him quietly, with a new plan in mind. Perhaps this will be Sonic's downfall once and for all.

[airin-lavellan]

My take on Rezaren

I've never written a post before but this felt like a good first time. I've seen countless of posts labeling Rezaren as a manipulative slaver that only saw Neb and Miriam as his slaves and I just can't see it that way, I'll try my best to explain why. Just want to take this off my chest.

First off, the spirit summoning scene: it's been used as a depiction of his anger and how he just wants to get his way no matter what. Imo, it wasn't about getting his way, he genuinely wanted to find a method of using the circulum without any blood magic involved as he has weilded such magic and knows the price that has to be paid, he probably and correctly predicted that the magic artifact would requiere hundreds of lives just to achieve his goal so he wanted a way around. A way that would involve no bloodshed. The spirit stubbornly refused to give him further information about an alternate use and the dangerous person persuing the artifact. Rezaren only pushed when needed, because he believed in his cause and fought to do things right. Even if he risked angering the spirit which unfortunately happened, thus depriving him of a safe way to use the device.

Regarding the issues with Neb's corpse and keeping it around as his personal guard: He knew no other methods of keeping the body intact and prevent it from rotting. I also think that in Tevinter, like Nevarra, Necromancy isn't as culturally rejected as in other places hence his perception as it being a good choice. Important to also consider that Neb's spirit was always free, he was only using the body because he needed it if the ritual worked, he never took Neb's essence without his consent nor trapped him in any way, that's why he used a demon as a temporal host, he kept his brother's spirit and body safe in the only way he knew.

Now to his upbringing, Miriam blamed him for things he had zero control of. I'm pretty sure if Rezaren as a little boy ever got in the way of Miriam getting hit he would have faced other consequences as well. He was also raised with a mentality of having ownership over Neb and Miriam yet he always saw them as his siblings and truly loved them. Miriam is blaming him for what happened in the harrowing but Rezaren was literally paralyzed and in danger of posesion, he was totally helpless and couldn't help Neb even if he desired to do so. Even after Miriam killed his mother and accidentally ended Neb's life he still looked after her and told her to run before anyone found out. It was then that he dedicated the following years to fixing that horrible event that affected everyone. Just to make clear, I have nothing against Miriam as a character. She is a great protagonist but was certainly blinded by her rage and how much she has suffered, viewing Rezaren in a completely antagonistic light when he was just trying to help. I understand her not wanting to go back to anything related to her past but the way she saw Rezaren felt more like channeling all of that pain into someone and that person ended up being him.

Another example of Rezaren genuinely caring for Miriam is seen in the talk he was with Hira and when he mentions Hira in the fade dream. Rezaren claims that Hira doesn't deserve Miriam's tears and he is right. He also can't help but laugh when Hira says that she loves Miriam. He knows perfectly well that she doesn't, a woman who manipulated and lied to the person he supposedly loves definitely cares more about the circulum than her. Rezaren was just hinting at this in the dream because he wants Miriam to do better, he wishes she could she the truth of the horrible person that Hira truly is. Rezaren was also part of the deal, yes, but we know his intentions were good and had no other way of reaching out to Miriam, while Hira was willing to hand in her partner without caring about Miriam's fate. She would have handed Miriam over and then leave to Kirkwall with the circulum to destroy Tevinter, while Miriam was still in it. Rezaren, in ideal conditions , would have a safe way of bringing Neb back and would explain everything to Miriam so they could be together again.

Which comes to this: the real villain of the show is Hira. A horrible manipulative person that doesn't care about hurting anyone in her way or using anyone for her goals to destroy Tevinter. She wanted to destroy all of it: magisters, templars, elves, slaves, she didn't care.

Opposite to this we have Rezaren, a person that fought with the means he knew to offer a better life to what he saw as his family and repair all of the damage trying to do it in the most harmless way. Worth mentioning, he wanted to be in a place of power to make a real change for the whole nation. When he was rejected he couldn't believe all of his effort would go on a waste and that Miriam would downright reject him as a whole. He became desperate and had to use means like violence and the one thing that started all of the conflict: using the circulum with blood sacrifices because the spirit didn't tell him the information. I also genuinely believe that the circulum at some point did corrupt him as an individual turning his good wishes into an obsession. Tassia mentions this openly, she knows that her love is acting different. In the end all of his fight ended horribly and he died in his lover's arms unable to reach his goal of aiding not just his family but Tevinter as a whole.

[elbiotipo]

In old science fiction, before the rise of the internet and connected computers, it was always sort of assumed IAs would have "a body", either one big computer brain or a literal brain on an android (like Asimov's positronic brain), and that first you would have robot bodies that then would get sophisticated enough to get actual minds. Much like humans, a body with a mind (and soul?)

In real life, we already have... stuff that is so complex that one could argue they are some kind of intelligence at least in limited contexts, certainly not minds, but you can see how they could develop into one. But they don't have 'bodies', they are spread on the internet, their body is the countless computers that support their 'thinking' processes, but none of those exactly 'hosting' them, their existance is their own algorithm which can be modified, copied, changed or evolved. They also don't have a discrete individuality, there are millions of different, say, ChatGPT conversations with millions of different topics, characters and models. They all kinda feed into the same algorithmic model. But unlike what would one expect from say, Bicentennial Man, we don't have a single "robot" or android that becomes a human in a neat individual way. We have this strange kind of evolving intelligences, if you can call them that, that don't have a discret or individual existence or 'body', but they exist as part of the internet. These aggregated intelligences have been described in many science fiction, but I never expected to see them evolve so quickly in my lifetime.

Despite of what I've said I think we're only a couple decades away from androids, that is, human like robots, being commercially available. Even though I see little need for them and I don't really see an "animatrix" scenario where you have them as masses of workers (why make them humanlike or give them extraneous social abilities, if industrial robots already exist?) I think we will start seeing human-like robots soon. But they also likely wouldn't have a body, there is no way that they could carry on y would be connected to the big mind of the internet to do their tasks.

Or would they? You can indeed run LLM and AI models in a very, very powerful PC, and Nvidia and others are starting to produce chips dedicated to only that. In fact, it seems to be a lesser challenge than to prodduce humanlike android bodies. It's not unlikely that we will start to see androids that act like us, walk like us, are like us, all autonomously, disconnected from the internet. We would have finally created artificial human-like beings, not chatbots, not aggregated intelligences (which are wild enough on their own) but actual autonomous 'beings' that look and talk like us, but can't think. Or can they?

I see this happening in the near future. I'm not scared, just surprised that it will finally happen. But I predict we will start to see some shit.

I still think that is really wild that we managed to make AIs (or if you want to be less dramatic, LLM and chatbots) that can hold a decent human conversation, analyze and return information and text, create images from prompts and impersonate characters (all things that were considered impossible or decades, even centuries away just a few years ago)

but a robot that can walk like a human on its own is still one of those unsurmountable engineering challenges that haven't gotten easier even after decades of research.

[jeremy-queere]

i REALLY like cherrypicking from canons for bmc. i know a lot of us do it with things like Jeremy having a dolphin fursona. I know a lot of people liked the original novel but there is a lot of not-so-great content (racism, slurs I think, that TERRIFYING nipple scene). I don't usually recommend people read it. But I still steal from it 😬

Actually I'm gonna include full quotes so you understand the vibe of this book. Jeremy is a first-person narrator and the SQUIP speaks in all caps.

Specifically stuff like:

Jeremy has issues during class attendence.

Here comes the fun part, the part that has been stressing me since they started taking attendance (in fifth grade). I can't say "here" in response to my name. It confuses teachers. I raise my hand quietly and say "Present." Somebody snickers up by the front of the room.

Jeremy keeps a list of the instances he feels bad in school.

The Humiliation Sheets have developed a lot over the years, with a host of different categories, but the current model has Snicker, Laugh, Snotty Comment, Refusal to Return a Head Nod (the standard form of greeting at Middle Borough High), Refusal to Return a Verbal Greeting, Refusal to Touch Hands, Public Denial of Formerly Agreed-Upon Opinion, Refusal to Repeat a Joke, and Mortification Event (a catch-all). I use the Humiliation Sheets to keep track of my social status in a concrete, quantitative way. They are my secret, totally; I make sure no one sees them as I fill them up with tally marks each day. I hate tally marks.

Jeremy invents multi-tasking masturbation.

I'm masturbating still, watching a video, but it's not like I'm masturbating to Michael. I'm multitasking masturbating.

Jeremy's dad idolizes Benjamin Franklin.

Dad puts a hand on my shoulder. "eBay is just amazing, isn't it? You know who would have loved it? Ben Franklin."

Dad has this thing about Ben Franklin (for Ben Franklin?). Give him any technology - the Internet, the postal service, Seeing Eye dogs - and he'll go off on how if only Ben Franklin were alive today, he would be overjoyed to see it and use it, because Ben Franklin was a "forward thinker."

The SQUIP filters out marijuana

I take the pipe as it's passed to me. I've never smoked pot before-

AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO NOW. IT IMPEDES COMMUNICATION PARAMETERS.

What do I do, then?

SMOKE NORMALLY; I'LL FILTER THE ACTIVE COMPOUNDS OUT OF THE CAPILLARIES IN YOUR SKULL.

"Jeremy, you crackin' out over there? You gonna hit it or not?"

Note: In the original version, the SQUIP needs to be manually shut off before drinking alcohol because "I'LL START ORDERING YOU TO KILL PEOPLE."

The SQUIP predicts things by looking at alternate universes.

MY ADVICE IS NOT BASED ON THIS WORLD ALONE. DUE TO MY QUANTUM STRUCTURE I AM ABLE TO INTERACT AT A LOW LEVEL WITH PHOTONS IN PARALLEL UNIVERSES AND EXTRAPOLATE FORWARD, KNOWING THEIR ENTANGLED STATES, TO SEE WHAT THOSE UNIVERSES HAVE TO OFFER.

Jeremy has a weird thing for Beanie Babies. I like this canon even though, in the book, he just steals them from his aunt to sell on Ebay for SQUIP money. (Jeremy in the book is specifically mentioned to be uncircumcised- can't find the quote now- so no bar mitzvah money for him.)

I used to be into baseball cards, so I slip easily into this world of collectibles, this mentality where the only thing that's important is the planet you contorl and analyze and understand. I look at Beanie Babies for an hour. For the first time all day, I don't think about the squip.

(He finds these because there is a small blue Beanie Baby called "squip.")

Jeremy did something called "Appearance Checks" before the SQUIP.

I've been doing a lot of Appearance Checks lately. I've noticed that I'm kind of ugly.

Michael and Jeremy used to have dandruff battles???

My hair might be thick, but it's full of dandruff like a snowstorm. (Michael and I used to have dandruff battles, actually, ruffling our hair violently in a sunbeam to see who had more glittering scalp waste.

Jeremy has this body position he thinks is cool and it for some reason has always stuck with me.

I pick my foot up and press the sole of my shoe flat against the wall. I should be as comfortable with my wallflower status as these guys are - the way they position their shoulders and backs and hips is almost a dance of its own.

SONY creates and owns the SQUIP.

Just as the Segway Human Transport system was introduced to the world as clandestine, heavily-funded "IT" technology, digital designers and futurists are now buzzing about "SQUIP" as the next great leap forward in human lifestyle enhancement. SQUIP is being developed by Sony (SNE).

(The article Jeremy reads also calls it an "ingestible Palm Pilot.")

SQUIPs work via qubits. This is already implied in the "superquantum" part of the name but the musical doesn't explain it.

"Sony is going consumer with quantum computing," Mr. Dinglesnort explains. "Scientists have been researching for years the prospect of building a computer based not on the binary system, where a piece of information is either a one or a zero, but on a 'qubit' system, where a piece of information can be a one, a zero, or a sort of in-between state that collapses into a one or zero when it is observed closely."

The SQUIP hates the word "Cool" as used by Jeremy's inner narration.

NO, DON'T USE CAPITAL C. YOU'RE MAKING IT TOO DIFFICULT, JEREMY, PUTTING IT ON TOO MUCH OF A PEDESTAL.

(It also disapproves of "chill out":)

NO, I DO NOT MEAN "CHILL OUT." WE ONLY USE SQUIP-APPROVED DATA FOR THE VERNACULAR, JEREMY. YOU HAVE TO TALK AS PER RAP-SLASH-HIP-HOP, THE DOMINANT MUSIC OF YOUTH CULTURE.

Okay.

The SQUIP thinks that gay people have good posture.

ARCH YOUR BACK SO THAT YOUR SHOULDER BLADES ARE ALMOST TOUCHING. WALK LIKE THAT.

I do as I'm told. It feels gay.

THE GAYER IT FEELS, THE BETTER YOUR POSTURE. YOU MUST ALWAYS WALK THIS WAY, JEREMY. I WILL STIMULATE YOUR SPINE TO REMIND YOU. YOU ARE TALL; IF YOU DON'T USE YOUR HEIGHT TO THE FULLEST, TARGET FEMALES WILL ASSUME YOU ARE A LOSER AND MASTURBATOR.

But I am a masturbator.

WE'LL FIX THAT.

The SQUIP encourages Jeremy to curse at least 50 times per day, but considers some weird stuff to be curse words.

FIFTY TIMES A DAY YOU HAVE TO SAY ANY COMBINATION OF THESE WORDS: FUCK, ASS, BITCH, SHIT, DICK, PUSSY, DILL-LICKER, HAIRY NECESSARIES-

The SQUIP's avatar (Keanu) is part of a genuine licensing deal with actors.

I kind of hate Keanu Reeves's voice. Can you switch to, ah, Brad Pitt?

WE COULDN'T GET HIS RIGHTS. YOU SURE YOU DON'T LIKE KEANU?

Uh…

C'MON, JUST LISTEN. ISN'T IT SOOTHING?

I guess.

[harmonizingsunsets]

Polin Week Day 4: Prompt - Jealousy

Touching A Live Wire

After dragging Colin by the arm through her and Eloise's flat with one hand, Penelope slams the door behind them with the other.

She folds her arms across her chest and looks him in the eye for the first time since they left her work party early. He'd looked apologetic, following her wordlessly to the car and remaining silent during the entire drive to the flat.  

"You have five seconds to apologize."

Colin sighs, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. "Penelope, this is a misunderstanding."

"Five," she starts counting.

"I didn't mean to say it that loud!"

Penelope's lips curl further in anger. "Four."

"Wait, let me explain why I—."

"Three," she interrupts, tapping her foot loudly on the floor.

Colin tilts his head at her. "Pen, this is ridiculous."

"Two."

"Can't we just sit down and—." Pen opens her mouth, her lips forming the word one, but Colin looks alarmed and puts his hands out to stop her. "Fine, you're right. I'm sorry!"

Penelope breathes in relief. Despite the show she just put on, she didn't know what she would've done if she'd reached one. With Penelope's grade three students, she'd send them to the principal's office or write their names in the infraction book. But, Penelope didn't think those forms of punishment would've worked with Colin.

She moves her hands to her hips, pinning her gaze on him. "Sorry about what?"

"I'm sorry that I got a bit carried away."

"A bit carried away?" Penelope scoffs, causing him to flinch in guilt. "Colin, you yelled at my co-worker, "Penelope is too good for you," and then proceeded to knock over the punch bowl!"

"In my defense, whoever placed it there did a poor job. It was teetering on the edge of the table."

Penelope's jaw clenches. "I placed it on the table."

Colin's eyes go wide, adorably so, which she could appreciate more if she weren't so angry at him.

Well, she still does appreciate it a little. She's human, after all.

"Oh, then it was a lovely job!" Colin exclaims, trying to cover himself. "Perfect placement, angels in heaven would want you to be on punchbowl duty at every party."

"You think angels have parties?"

"No, of course not, but they host them. Can you imagine parties in heaven? Unlimited food, great entertainment, and you could dance with Pablo Picasso and Prince at the same time."

"You really think Picasso and Prince would run in the same social circles in—hey, don't distract me," she interrupts herself, pointing accusingly at him while biting back a grin. "I'm mad at you."

Colin takes a step forward, beginning to smirk. "Then why are you smiling?"

"It's an annoying side effect of being around you," Penelope explains grumpily. "But, I'm still angry."

Colin deflates. "I know. You  should be angry at me." He begins to pace, making Penelope worry that he's going to slip as she and Eloise just polished the floor yesterday. "I was way out of line. I shouldn't have yelled at your co-worker. It was disrespectful."

Penelope exhales, her anger beginning to fade, but confusion still causing her head to ache.

"I don't understand. Why did you yell that at him? And why did you spend the whole evening scowling at him and steering me away from him the entire time?"

Colin doesn't respond, looking down at his shoes. His behavior worries her, as Colin's never been one to avoid telling her something. His eyes are always open, full of honesty and understanding. But lately, they've been clouded.

The clouds are unsettling. Penelope misses the sun's warmth, and she can't take the chill anymore, especially because she doesn't know what prompted the weather change.

"You've been so unlike you the past few weeks," Penelope quickly says before she loses her nerve. "You've been off ever since he started working with me at the beginning of this month."

Colin shifts his feet. "No, I haven't."

"Yes, you have! Whenever I bring him up, you completely shut me out, you've avoided my attempts for you to meet him, and I caught you rolling your eyes when I was talking to him on the phone," she lists, furrowing her eyebrows. "What do you have against him?"

"Nothing."

"Colin, tell me."

He shrugs but with tense shoulders. "There's nothing to tell."

Penelope presses on, taking a step closer. "Obviously, you have something against him."

"No, I don't," he says, taking a step back.

She steps forward, feeling a rook on a chessboard that's slowly advancing on his pawn as he moves it backward one square at a time.

"Be honest."

"I am."

"No, you're not. I know you well enough to know when you're lying."

"Penelope…"

"Please, Colin, just tell me what's really got you so—."

"He's into you!" Colin blurts out.

Penelope freezes, her rook stopping one square before her victory.

Colin grimaces at himself, taking a deep breath as if his words knocked the wind out of him.

"What?"

"He's into you," Colin repeats, his voice quieter than before. "I don't like the way he looks at you. He obviously wants something more than friendship."

Penelope knows she shouldn't, but she laughs. "That's absurd."

Colin's expression drops even further, beginning to frown. "Why is that absurd? "

"Because it's me. Why would he be interested in me?"

"Why wouldn't he be?"

Penelope narrows her eyes at him. "Colin, don't play dumb."

"I'm not. You're the one that's playing dumb."

"Excuse me?"

"Pen, you're intelligent, beautiful, funny, and kind," Colin describes, slowly raising his hands and placing them on her arms. There's something in his eyes as he speaks so vehemently, a gleam that sends a thrill through her body. "You're the perfect package. Who wouldn't want you?"

Something in his words causes her to pause, reassessing the entire evening. Once she does, seeing a supercut of Colin's reactions towards her co-worker and his behavior around the two of them, her mind reaches one conclusion—a conclusion which quickens her heartbeat.

However, it also inspires a newfound sense of motivation to stop tiptoeing at the edge of the cliff she's been on for years.

But, she has to make sure Colin is truly standing on the same cliff as her before jumping.

Penelope swallows nervously. "Alright, let's say you're right and that I'm the perfect package—."

"You are."

"Ok, let's say that I am," Penelope agrees, taking a deep breath before crafting her following words. "So, why shouldn't he like me?"

"It's not that he shouldn't like you because, of course, he should. But—he shouldn't," Colin blabbers, getting a cute crinkle in between his brows as he struggles to explain himself adequately, which only fuels her wonderful but terrifying theory. "Because… he's—that guy is not right for you. "

Penelope inches closer, so her chest brushes against his body. He intakes a sharp breath, and she has to restrain herself from doing the same thing, knowing the gravity of this moment—of getting this exactly right.

"But I'm the perfect package, so I'm perfect for him, right?"

"No—I mean, yes, he'd be lucky to have you. But that doesn't mean you should be with him." His eyes flicker to her chest, and back up at her eyes, and back to his shoes, his face becoming more red with each passing second. "He—he has a horrible laugh, he likes Star Trek over Star Wars, and he took way more than his share of the cheese platter—."

"Those reasons are inconsequential. You know they are."

Colin opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. So, Penelope raises one of her hands, moving up his arm and to his neck.

The path of Penelope's fingertips creates a live wire, causing his skin to brim with electricity everywhere she touches.  But, it doesn't shock her. Instead, she's part of the electrical current and feels a hum of energy in her palm that his touch provides.

"So, there must be another reason you don't want me to be with him," Penelope continues, forcing her voice not to shake. "Right?"

"No," he shakes his head after a few beats.

She bites her lip, trying to hold on to hope. "Really, there's not one reason?"

"Um…no?"

Penelope sighs, dropping her hands from his neck, feeling stupid. How foolish was she to think ahead of herself like this? Clearly, Colin's answer was not what she predicted. Just like always, she got carried away in romantic notions, as she always seemed to, when Colin’s around.

"Ok," she says, clearing her throat. Colin frowns at the sudden distance, but Penelope can't see his expression as she's closing her eyes to try and banish the inclination to cry. "I know, it's been a long day, so let's forget it. I think I should—."

Penelope doesn't get to answer. Because, suddenly, Colin swoops forward, his hands cupping her cheeks and his lips crashing onto hers.

If touching his skin created a live wire, kissing Colin makes a high electricity voltage, one strong enough to power an entire city.

Colin's lips brush against her softly, but there's a desperate edge to it, one akin to the desperation she feels as she clutches the collar of his jacket and pulls him closer.

When Colin breaks apart for a breath, he rests his forehead on hers.

"I was jealous," he whispers.

Penelope pulls her head back a little so that she can meet his eyes. "What?"

"That's why I didn't want you to be with him, because I want you to be with me," Colin confesses, pursing his lips. "I know that's immature. I'm sorry. You should be with whoever you want to be with, even if it's not me. It's my fault that I was too much of a coward until—Ow!" He abruptly yelps, looking down at his arm, which Penelope just pinched. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Penelope ducks her head, the corners of her lips twitching into a smile. "I was just checking to make sure you weren't an illusion."

Colin smiles in the incandescent way that made Penelope fall in love with him in the first place. He tips her chin up, forcing her to meet his bright eyes filled with an emotion that wraps around her heart and squeezes it.

"I'm real, I'm very much real," Colin assures, his thumb skimming her cheek. "I'll prove it to you."

He closes the distance between them again. But, Penelope is the one to deepen the kiss. She feels a wave of heat run through her at Colin's moan. Also, she experiences a surge of confidence, proud that she was the one to elicit such a glorious sound.

Penelope wraps her arms around her neck, finding it slightly annoying that he's so tall, as she has to lean up on her toes to kiss him. Colin must sense her struggle, quickly amending the issue by swiftly raising her into the air.

But, as her legs sweep up as she's taken into his arms, she accidentally kicks the bowl that holds her and Eloise's apartment keys off of the table.

It crashes loudly onto the floor, the ceramic breaking into multiple tiny pieces.

Colin and Penelope's lips break from each other's, looking down at the mess near her feet. Then, for a moment, neither of them say anything, only staring at the floor.

"Well…at least there was no punch in there this time," Colin says, sidestepping the broken pieces of the bowl.

Penelope laughs, smiling against his lips as she pulls him in for another kiss.

While she has a lot of explaining to do about the dramatic scene the two of them caused when she shows up at work tomorrow and will have to answer Eloise about the broken bowl, she can't find it in herself to care.

When he opens his eyes briefly, looking at her and moving a strand of hair behind her ear, she no longer sees clouds. Instead, she only sees the sun, and she wants to bask in its glow forever.

Penelope knows how idealistic that thought is, but as Colin begins kissing down her neck after moving them to the couch, she thinks it's quite a reasonable notion.

[beelovesnct]

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐨 [𝐩𝐭. 𝟐]

—a compilation of boys having aiko's back in return

fan video by: urmydreams

**note: bold-english, regular-korean, indented-editor’s note

Hi! I'm back! ><

Since you all liked my, "how aiko loves nct dream", I made a new compilation, now showing how the dreamies love aiko back in return!

I mean, it's pretty obvious that they're whipped for Aiko (who wouldn't be), but here are some of my favorite interactions that prove just how much they love our Aiko-yangi <3

They protect her image when she can't!

[MENTAL TRAINING CAMP 2021]

It was the second day of the two-day mental training camp made to strengthen the mindset of idols who choose to participate.

Seeing as it was the second day, Aiko got a little bit more comfortable than the day before, and for the dreamies, this was both a good and a bad thing.

Good, because that meant Aiko would react and interact more, not only with them but the staff and the host as well. Her genuine warmness and sincerity would then be portrayed, for the world to see just how amazingly complex her character was.

Bad, because, well, in the dreamies' perspective, when Aiko gets comfortable, she really gets comfortable. And while this wasn't anything new to the managers and the members themselves (basically living and growing up with her), it wasn't a particular scene that they would want the fans, the host, nor any of the new staff to see.

The scene was Aiko, absentmindedly raising her shirt up to the point that the hem of her sports bra was showing.

This alerted Mark, who was in the same room as her, swiftly noticing the camera that would perfectly capture the girl's midriff.

Thinking quickly, Mark lunged at Aiko, hugging her tight while laughing nervously,

"Dude, you're getting too comfortable," Mark managed to cover these words with his laughter, though the camera picked up on it; labeling the scene as 'Leader Mark protecting Aiko'.

Aiko, who got the message blushed profusely at this. She then buried her face in the crook of Mark's neck, too embarrassed to face the camera at the moment.

Mark, getting the clue finally giggled genuinely; patting the girl's head and back as he muttered words of assurance. Though it came more as teasing so Aiko weakly punched him in the chest.

"It's fine, it's fine. You're hot anyway."

They sense whenever she's in danger :0

[NCT WORLD 2.0]

It's not a secret that Aiko's not the most athletic in NCT.

She's (for the lack of a better word), a homebody. She's really great at strategy virtual games, but for actual physical matches, she has no chance to win at all.

This is why, when the announcement came that there would be a vault competition, the dreamies immediately glanced over to Aiko (who was placed in OFN), worried that with her clumsy and unathletic character, she would hurt herself.

Their prediction came true when Aiko tried for the 180cm vault (they were so relieved that she passed at least the easier ones).

Aiko did a good run-up, so much so that everyone thought she would make it, but her jump was just slightly lower. Thankfully, she was quick enough to turn her body around, which made her hit the vault back-first (it didn't mean it hurt less though).

Aiko fell on the mat, the stacks following her soon after. But before it could even touch her, her five brothers from dream already made it to the rescue, stabilizing the remaining stacks and swatting away what could have hit Aiko's figure.

"Aigoo, you clumsy cat, up." Renjun demanded, his hand stretched so Aiko would take it.

Aiko did, but not before showing a slight pout, muttering a small sorry in return.

The other NCT members watched in both amazement and amusement, their eyes wide and their mouths hung low, (frozen in place as they were about to come to Aiko's aid too); bewildered at how fast the dreamies' reflexes were; as if they had spidey senses that would indicate whenever one of them was in trouble.

At that moment, the screen showed the title, "The Dream-y Senses—an amazing reflex from the NCT Dream members."

They make sure she's always okay! (Though Jisung kind of messed this one up ><)

[🌶️ NCT DREAM HAS THE HOTTEST STRIKING SKILLS I HOT SAUCE BOWLING]

It was the time that Aiko dreaded the most—the punishment time.

Her team had just lost against the other in an unexpected turn of events. They knew that Jisung was the only one with an actual fighting chance of knocking over any of the hot sauce pins, and with the practice match from before, they observed how Jisung doesn't even have the best striking skills. Hence, when it came to the actual battle, they thought they had it in the bag.

That was until Jisung landed a perfect strike.

So here they were, with Haechan, Jeno, Renjun, and Jisung themselves, making the hot sauce mixture for their tacos.

Aiko was shaking her leg out of nervousness, enough to catch Mark's attention that he placed his hand on her thigh while muttering words of reassurances.

"Don't worry, Jisung's going to be the one to put the sauce on yours,"

The dreamies knew that Aiko had a very low tolerance for spice, so as much as they wanted to tease her, they won't let it go out of bounds to the point that the member would be suffering already.

In the end, it was planned that Mark would get the worst mix of spices, folded nicely in the taco (courtesy of Jeno); with Aiko having the least spice (courtesy of Jisung).

Jisung then laid the tacos flat on the table in descending order, with Aiko thefirst to grab what she thought was meant to be hers (the last on the sequence).

"Here I go," She announced, the smell of the food already bringing tears to her eyes.

But she trusted Jisung, more than anyone, so she closed her eyes and abruptly took a big bite.

Then all at once, her sense exploded into overdrive. Her face got so red and tears were leaking from both sides of her eyes. Suddenly, she couldn't breathe, gasping for air as she coughed continuously.

The boys reacted immediately, coming to her aid with milk and cold water. Mark was gently patting her back, Jaemin giving her tissues to wipe her tears with, and Jeno pouring her a glass full of the cold beverage.

"Yah, Jisung, what did you put in there?" Renjun started scolding, his expression was just as worried as the rest of them.

"Just the mild one! I swear!" Jisung was waving his hands defensively, hovering over his noona as he stared back at Renjun.

Haechan then approached the table where the tacos were all laid, then smelled each and everyone before sighing loudly, facing the group with an unimpressed expression.

"Yah, that wasn't Aiko's, that was Mark hyung's."

Everyone then looked at the maknae with a blank expression, though the said maknae was already by his noona's side, apologizing profusely.

They always look out for her no matter what :> And even scolds her for her own good!

[VLIVE 210612]

This was supposed to be a very cheerful Vlive, with the main highlight being the Czennies' birthday. And as people who have supported them throughout their career, the dreamies were more than happy to indulge in the celebration.

Unfortunately, as fans seem to notice as well, Aiko looked like she wasn't feeling well.

As much as Aiko was quiet with the rest of the dreamies, savage when it came to reality shows, and even unrelenting to rude hosts, she was very very sweet to her fans.

Whenever interactions with fans happened—whether that would be in concerts, fan meets, and even Vlives, Aiko is always seen to be smiling (maybe not a huge grin), but there was always that happy glint on her eye, and the subtle twitch of her lips whenever she'd catch the eye of a fan—whether through physical or virtual means.

This never failed to make the fans melt in adoration, feeling special with how the introvert treated them.

Hence, it came as a surprise when the usually upbeat Aiko, looked utterly dead.

Her eyes were void of their usual shine and simply looked empty; there were bags in her eyes too. Her demeanor screamed that she was tired, but had most likely pushed herself for the sake of celebrating with the dreamies.

There were subtle comments of worried fans, asking if Aiko was alright; and sometimes, when some of the members catch the particular comment, their eyes would always worriedly flit to Aiko, who had her head down as she mindlessly scrolled through the comments on her phone.

Renjun, one of the members who saw the comment, would stare at her for seconds, then glance at the manager, looking over if there was something that could be done. When the manager mouthed, "Later," Renjun solemnly bowed his head, but not before shooting Aiko once last concerned look.

However, whenever Aiko was the one who glanced at the comment, she would pause then look at the camera straight before attempting a cheerful smile—that while contained their usual adorableness, came more strained and forced.

The fans' worries came doubling when Aiko looked as if she suddenly got dizzy, her head unconsciously shaking back and forth before collapsing just behind Jeno, his whole figure being able to cover her head.

With a sudden thud, all the dreamies looked at Aiko; with Renjun already making his way out of the frame to get some water for the member, his face scrunched in worry.

The nearest two immediately hovered over her; Jeno twisting his torso and Jaemin clinging unto hers, both quietly asking if she was alright.

Aiko sat up straight a couple of seconds later, smiling to reassure the other members she was indeed okay; and although they didn't believe her one bit, the dreamies went back to their what they were doing, shooting Aiko the occasional glance once in a while.

After drinking the water Renjun gave her, Jaemin then wrapped his whole arm around her head, his arm covering her eyes, forcing her head to lay on his shoulders in the process.

In a bubble update much later, Aiko soothed the fans' worries by saying she just had a lack of sleep and was momentarily dizzy because of it.

She also shared that she got some light scolding from both Renjun and Jaemin, and promises she'd try to sleep earlier.

They always remember her <3

[N'-134: We Are the Champions~🥇]

"I have something to recommended to you," Chenle says jokingly, his eyes mischievous as he looked at Jaemin.

Not even giving him a chance to answer back to his rhetoric, he replied to himself with the drink that Jaemin swears he hates the most, "Strawberry Yoghurt smoothie."

Unsurprisingly, Jaemin faces him with a blank face, with Jeno openly snickering in the sideline.

The trio was chosen to represent NCT Dream in the upcoming archery males division of ISAC 2020. Naturally, with the goal to dominate the game and possibly garner new fans, the company set out practice shootings for the members—that started with shooting at near-range, slowly inching their way to far-range targets in hopes of mimicking the exact distance they had to shoot at the actual play.

After, what seemed to be at least an hour of practice, the trio is seen in the mini-cafe situated inside the building, ordering beverages and snacks to refill on before continuing their training.

Chenle looked at Jaemin, "You told me you liked strawberry,"

Jaemin shook his head vehemently, getting that it was all for teasing but still would like to clarify that he absolutely detests the artificial flavoring, "You got me mixed up. Aiko, Aiko likes anything with strawberry, I—Na Jaemin, don't."

Then as if Chenle remembered the detail, he exclaimed, "Ah right! Then I'll buy Aiko some strawberry shortcake."

Forgetting his initial goal to tease Jaemin relentlessly, the Chinese member made his way to the counter, a giddy bounce in his step; Jeno followed suit, voicing out a concern about the snack.

"Won't it get melted though? We still have a few hours left to practice,"

"Ah, right." Visibly deflating, Jaemin assured the younger that they could simply order take-out before they head for the dorms,

"We can order when we leave."

Nodding, the younger faced the camera, explaining to the fans why he was so keen on bringing home some snack for the cat-like member,

"Our Aiko-yangi loves strawberry shortcake so much, so I wanted to buy her some," His eyes disappeared as he showed a wide grin,

"Is that your bribe to get her to play with you?" Now it was Jeno who was teasing Chenle, as he and the fans both know how Chenle loved playing games with Aiko.

Chenle nodded unabashedly, "Yes. Aiko-yangi has been rejecting my love lately, maybe this will change her mind."

Jaemin ruffled his hair fondly, "You favoritism towards Aiko is showing,"

Chenle scoffed, "First of all, Aiko is one of the—no, is THE BEST player I have played with, and SECOND OF ALL—" He shot the older two a knowing smirk,

"I'm not the only one."

As we can see, our Aiko-yangi is very loved by the dreamies (I hope I have friends like that ><), AS THEY SHOULD! Our Aiko is very precious (albeit very clumsy), so it's great to know that the boys always got her back <3

Requests are open for the next video; see you then~!

[papirouge]

I think my one and only theory I had as a teen was that Eden is in Africa, somewhere. I’m not sure which country exactly. But also, large countries like China, US, Russia, The whole EU & UK will soon pillage the continent for it while claiming its to better help those countries economy and “freedoms” while also stealing all its natural resources. Like the ME except it’s be more of a global effort. But they would be looking for Eden and all of God’s fruits to destroy. God is waiting for us be home like the father of the prodigal son. So the elites need to destroy it so there is no home to return to. That way, our souls are in despair and they can harvest our despair (very low vibrational energy can open portals to allow dark spiritual influence) for their own power. I think the Illuminati mastered how to manipulate energy and vibrations for personal gain. I think their ultimate goal involves rejecting death altogether to avoid being judged by God and harvesting energy and manipulating our vibrations on this earth involves that. But like any event, what will go on there will go unnoticed by the world because nobody checks on any African nation unless it’s like a natural disaster…. 😒We’ll hear bits and pieces of what’s really happening online like we do now but we’d be called crazy conspiracy theorists for digging deeper. I think Eden can be reached on earth too. Predictive programming works and look at how in Black Panther Wakanda was able to thrive in a world hidden. I think Eden is like that and once they destroy it, the world will not mourn because of predictive programming. We live already seen it.

Eden can't be reached on Earth because it's being safeguarded by 2 cherubs waving blazing swords, anon (Genesis 3:24) Worldly power cannot compare to the spiritual ones. For Eden to be safeguarded by cherubs, it means it's not a place like the others ; it might be spiritual. There's a reason Eve and Adam could literally see God when mere humans cannot bear it anymore i.e Moses & the Israelites at the Mount Sinai.

That also why I'm adamant in reminding Christians how earthly weapons are pointless because you can't put down demons with them. It's said during in the book of Revelation that the antichrist will be wounded (probably by Christians since they are cited as some of the few ones resisting against him) and will eventually come back to life, which will make him even more popular and respected. If you just satan's tools against him, he will ultimately always win.

But I think you're onto something acknowledging how the tide is turning and how the West, arrogantly thinking they are the stand of Christianism (just a few days ago, I've seen an USAmericans saying that if the US fall, then so will Christianism......as if Christianism didn't sustain itself for 1500+ years before the United States of America were even a thing.....the arrogance o these people is will the US are cursed imo). Africa and Asia host the real Christian martyrdom ; God loves them and will save them. Just look how c0vid has barely impacted Africa ; pests have a very specific significance biblically so that's not a coincidence. On the contrary, the Western have been the more impacted by it ; because of its wickedness and adulterousness.

I maintain good communication with my family in Africa so I stay tuned with their life. They shared with us a video of woman being killed by satanists with a voice-over of a pastor warning us about them and ritual sacrifice. My mom explained to me abductions were on the rise and many children and adults were abducted. While I do think part of these people are just greedy people asking for a ransom, others are legit satanism using body parts of witchcraft and blood sacrifices. What's fascinating with Africa is you'll meet both the most awful brand of Christianism (prosperity teachers, false prophets, etc) but also the most humble and genuine discipleship of Christ and martyrdom. They are both being persecuted by Muslims and satanists ; may God grant them protection. I want to commit seppuku whenever I see these clueless White Christian arguing churches should be pretty bc of some dumb reason. They are so missing the point so bad. Like a wounded animal, the Western is boastfully clinging to its legacy, but ultimately it will disappear. I already said how God is going to use Russia to humiliate Europe and the USA.

I do think satanists fear death bc they fear God's judgment. That's why they're so interested in transhumanism and anti aging serum (which lead to cannibalism since youth blood is the most effective form of aging reversal). I once had this discussion with someone that if someone dies and gets back as a machine, is their soul still the same? I personally don't think so since the Bible says we only die once. That may always explain the state of "humanity" in the end times when people won't be fully human. Will the mark of the Beast be some sort of device maintaining you alive while your soul is long gone? That's an interesting discussion.

[shadowfae]

**breathes in deeply**

(vent)

So I'm a soulbonder who's looking to make a new bond to a particular person and nothing is working.

I know a lot about this person, I know a good amount about their world, and I know what I need to do, but none of the things I've tried have worked. I've bonded people before in both intentional and unintentional ways. This is unusual for me. I don't quite know how to handle what's going on here.

I know what's probably causing it. My mental health kinda tanked between this and the last time I called a new bond. Like. I've started experiencing psychosis issues intra-headspace. Thankfully I've avoided anything that severe in meatspace, but I have had increased issues with my pre-existing executive function and emotional regulation issues. Every time I think I've gotten somewhere with bonding this character it's only been psychosis issues and discernment issues, and it's really, really disheartening.

But even aside from mental health issues, when I'm relatively lucid I'm not having luck.

I've tried summoning, I've tried inviting, I've tried direct "hey come here", I've tried indirect "hey we'd like to talk", I've tried yanking them, I've tried directly appearing to them in their own world, I've tried just trying to talk to them before. Most of these I've tried more than once. Nothing has worked. There may have been contact in the past (and seemed positive-to-neutral about learning more about this place and visiting), but at this point I really doubt even the more reliable incidents. Something should have worked here, and I can't shake the feeling something is going very wrong.

I know I should probably give up and move on at this point, as it's been literal months. Honestly I've asked a lot of places for help and I've looked into what resources I've been able to find on their source world and bonding in general, and my options are running dry. Nobody would blame me for giving up. But I have my reasons not to. I have a feeling about this, and they're in a situation I don't feel like leaving alone. Like, everyone they thought they could trust screws them over. I also DESPERATELY want to at least talk to this person. This entire situation is so fucking frustrating. I'm at the "try shaking cat treats at them" phase.

Also I can't talk to anyone about this because 1. dude's source is from my own AU, and is technically my oc, 2. the places I can talk about this shit are not open to sensitive parts of this, going assume I'm lying, or uh, were exposed to a few cringey false alarms on related things, 3. it's been long enough and constant enough that it's too much to talk about the full extent of this nonsense. 4. My SO can't tolerate this person's source world, so I won't make them endure my prattling.

Because I needed isolation added to this clusterfuck.

Anyway that was good to get off my chest, feel free to throw this into the tumblr void with the identities of anon asks if you want. Or post it, I have no investment in the fate of this.

Mmmm, it looks like there are several issues here that you're facing.

I want to ask: do you have any other bonds right now? Because maybe getting them to try will help, just because their methods will be different than yours, and sometimes you just need a second set of hands. (Or fins, as Albafica wants me to make sure you know.)

There could be a ton of things blocking it, and I would suggest dealing with your psychosis issues first. Not give up, but put this on hold until you know what's causing the psychosis and have dealt with it. You do not want to forge a bond on such a shaky foundation. I'm not saying 'psychotic people can't soulbond', flames forbid I am, I'm reading that this is a new and difficult thing, and you don't want unknown variables getting in your way, especially when they can induce things that look similar to soulbonding but really really aren't.

I have to account for my Devil powers every time I do a spell, ward, or fuck around with the headspace. Because I'm the host and the god in the room, and things answer to me when they won't to anyone else, and Albafica's commentary on that is "stop locking me in a room with your crazy sentient brambles that only speak static whenever you're majorly upset" and I think that's not fair to me, that only happened once and it was accidental, but you get the point. That's a variable you need to be predictable and accounted for.

Then yeah, past that it looks like they're just not willing, and if you want to bond, you need to see it from their side. Because to some random person in their world, you probably feel / appear like a particularly dangerous spirit that's trying to eat them. Al agrees that's how he'd take it if someone pulled that on him, and he's very untrusting on his best days. So it sounds, so far, like your approach is not the best for this.

If you rule out medical reasons for your psychosis - and that is not an easy thing to do, please check out medical things for that, you don't want to fuck around with it - it could also be them refusing you and using their own wards. (Or at least, I can see the line of thought between them trying to stop you and such backlash; but that's an option to consider after medical issues.)

If you can get in contact with them, you need to ask one question, and one question alone, and do not pass go or collect your 200$ until they've answered clearly: do they want you to stop?

You haven't said why you want to bond with them so badly, and motivation is a key factor here. With Goni, he showed up looking for Luco and serves partially as the adult to go to when shit gets bad and also as the resident prettyboy and slut. Al is logical and blunt and his remarks cut deep, but he gives a damn and functions as lieutenant where Goni's advisor and backup. South is uh, he's the demon commentating about how much we should just kill people and he's right, he is, but that's illegal. He also serves as the youngest and the most prone to extreme emotions, and when someone else is doing the extreme emotions, it makes it that much easier for the rest of us to keep our heads. He says what I'm thinking, and then I can deal with it rationally.

They're all people, and they aid each other as well in headspace, but the bond between host and bond is a bit different than bonds with each other. I pilot the body most of the time, I handle everything in meatspace, they help me do that. It's simple: keep the guy who pilots the body running, get body privileges.

And what you need to consider here is not only what they can do for you, but what you can do for them, and how exactly you're going to coexist. Because while my triad of fishmen help me, I also help them, largely because uh, /gestures at the fact they all died in a war in various gruesome ways and the journey they took to get there was actually worse/. It's all fun and games until they're here, away from the danger, and then there's the exotrauma.

Goni handles it by not handling it until he has to and right now we're working on actually acknowledging that he's got issues. South deals with it by being resentful as all hell and incredibly violent and yandere, but being allowed to not pull his punches is still so new to him that it's actually quite good for him to get to say what he's thinking and be respected for it. Al's grumpy about it but is trying to build something of his life now before he falls apart. He wants something to hold onto first, which is smart. Trust Al to figure out the most logical way with none of the words and then adamantly refuse to let that go wrong. He and I both understand bullying the universe into giving us what we want, and since he has full utter control over his own mental processes thanks to being able to make my Devil powers do what he wants, I don't think anyone's going to be able to interfere with his ability to do that.

So now I have to ask for you: what is this bond going to be doing for you, and just as important, what exactly do you expect to be able to do for them? Because they're also an OC, and they may have some goddamn feelings about that. They may see you as having coincidentally written down their life, they may see you as channeling it, or they may see you as the one who made it happen. All of which you'll also see in fictionkin spaces. If they fall into the last category, they're gonna be pissed you didn't give them a happy ending, and they're justified in that, and so are you for not doing that.

You have to be prepared - especially from reading between the lines of your ask here - that they're not going to be as functional as you want them to be. When we handle our exotrauma, we're a mess. Everything gets put on hold to deal with it, and even then, we rely a lot on our partner system (Faolan and the Nebulaic Collective) to keep the body from crashing so we can hold onto our life instead of falling apart utterly for a week straight. We don't do jack entirely with the four of us, and it's better that way.

The fact that you can't rely on anyone outside of yourself, especially considering 1) they don't seem to want this, 2) your attempts either very coincidentally happened alongside or caused serious mental issues that need urgent attention from you, and 3) you don't sound prepared to handle the severity of what you're implying it to be; all goes to show that this reads to me like a terrible fucking idea. I mean that honestly and gently and bluntly.

I don't mean 'give up and don't do this', I mean 'seriously dude either you're not giving me context or you haven't thought nearly hard enough about the realistic way this is going to go', and if it's the latter, no wonder you're having issues.

I already know who my next bond will be, and I know what needs to happen for him to show up. Right now, the four of us are functional, and we have a good Thing going on, sleeping arrangements and all. If we're getting another, a Space needs to open up for him, job to keep us functional that he can do as well as a part to play in our dynamic that is currently not being met. We got Adult (Goni), we got Logic (Al), we got Emotional Teenager (South), we got Has Context And Admin Access (me).

(Side note, South is vaguely 17-19, but he's been treated like he was five for most of his life and has been forced to rapidly oscillate between genuinely horrifying scenarios and being incredibly sheltered, so trying to put any sort of 'he's an average X year old' is downright impossible. He's on the upper end of teens and we call it a day there, and if he hears a word of "you're not old enough to do X activity" then I have to stop him from sending you graphic descriptions of things he can do to your insides and that's no fun for anyone so don't do that please.)

So when we have a space the new bond can fill both in keeping things functional so he has something to do and a space in our relationship so he's not standing on the sidelines looking in, he'll show. As it stands right now, that hasn't happened, so he's not here yet. That and I think I'm stretched rather thin when it comes to bonds, I need much more time with our fishes before I think I can handle more folks in here. So much on my mind, so little time.

But either way regardless. You have several glaring issues that are fairly obvious that you may not have noticed because you can't be objective in a situation you're involved in (true of everyone), and until you fix those, yeah, this doesn't sound like it'll work all that well.

Although I will note that I typically bond via my writing, simply writing from their perspective until they start commentating. They go from 'maybe MaDD doing shit' to 'oh hey soulbond' when they don't comment only on themselves but also on things I'm doing in meatspace. Albafica's a character when he's narrating his own life, he's a person when he demands More Salmon For Dinner; if that makes sense.

I doubt you'd get that far unless they genuinely did want the connection, because otherwise they wouldn't tell you stuff about themselves. Works for me, might work for you, who knows, please get your psychosis symptoms checked out first before touching this again and make sure they actually want to bond and it's actually viable before continuing and then try again I suppose?

A very long answer for a very long ask, but I like Helping, so. Hope that helped a bit.