#it's not gonna fix everything and it won't replace her but you'll find new kinds of love and magic

[snapbackslide]

same honestly 😭 i’ve just felt so lonely tbh my ex best friend that was my lifeline for 8 years until she wasn’t recently reached out and we talked a lot about what happened and decided to try to be friends again but idk like i haven’t seen her in person in well over 2 years at least and we were texted regularly after she reached out and now she’s not even responding or if she does it’s like WEEKS later and i don’t really know what to make of that. you either want me in your life or you don’t? right? 😭😭

sorry to dump all that on you! is there anything you want to talk more about that has been contributing to how you’re feeling? 🫶🏻

ahh man, i'm sorry to hear that. 2 years is a long ass time not to hang out with a supposed friend lmao.. idk if this is hard to hear but you know the saying, if they wanted to they would? i understand people are busy and life happens, but after this much time it no longer is just life getting in the way, it becomes a choice.

i know saying you deserve better won't make you feel better, but waiting for her to text you back weeks later and holding onto hope that she'll put in the effort eventually is neither fair to you nor worth it. it's giving her complete control over the friendship & leaving you powerless.

my advice is to fill up your time by doing things you love, when you're busy you literally don't have time for other people's bullshit 🫶 sooner or later she'll realize how badly she fucked up. also, and this is something i've done recently so i can vouch for it, maybe you can try to find local events happening around you? there are so many people out looking for community like we are, if you search for whatever hobbies you're interested in or a specific type of community, you just might find what you've been looking for :) putting yourself out there is scary but can be so rewarding 💕

[athenaswrath]

Until I Found You - Chapter 3

Quinn Hughes x Reader

Word count: 1,163

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 >Chapter 3< Chapter 4

Quinn's POV

When Jack and Luke started talking about how amazing the new girl on their crew was, I thought she was just another girl looking for fun, but time passed and they kept bringing her into every single conversation. Then mom and dad met her, and the same thing happened. "She cannot be that good, she's probably faking it" I told them from time to time. While Jack was harder to get close to, Luke was so caring, and that worried me. He is already so attached to her, "you don't know her, Quinn" is what he always answers.

Now that I met her and saw the panic on her face, I couldn't help but think about everything she's done for my brothers, like that time she helped Luke with a panic attack or how she cooks for them from time to time, taking the time to look at their diet. So after I left her outside the room, I started beating myself up. I'm not the best around people, which should be a valid excuse in any other situation, but I also know that she suffers from anxiety and that she helped Luke that time from mere experience.

So when I went downstairs and Jack formally introduced me to her, I took advantage of Trevor's nonexistent silence to distract my attention from her and think about how I was going to make her feel welcomed, but time passed and eventually she came to me again. "Hey" she said in a soft voice, "you should go upstairs and sleep there, I mean, this is your room after all. Holtzy is there but I'm sure Jack or Lu wouldn't mind switching" and there it was, she thought I was uncomfortable with her. I took the time to truly look at her, and I could see it. Behind that cute face and soft body, I could see that kind-hearted girl my brothers described all this time.

After God knows how long, I finally said "Thank you, but it's okay if you sleep there. And... I'm sorry, I... What happened earlier was my fault, so you don't have to blame yourself for it, it is nice to finally meet the girl that my brothers feel so close to" I took another glance at her, trying to keep a soft expression, and then I headed upstairs, where Luke was yelling for me.

"What?" "Whoah man relax, just wanted to give you some blankets" I didn't say anything after that, but I could feel his gaze on me "why are we giving bad looks at Q this time Lukey?" said Jack when he entered the room. "I don't know yet, but there's something off about him today"

"It better not be related to Belle" he said in a serious tone, which was a weird thing. Luke immediately stopped moving and looked at me and I could feel my god-damned face heating up. "No, absolutely not. You won't get too close to her, but you'll make her feel safe. You hear me? I told you this whole time she was one of the kindest, hardest working, selfless people I know and I don't want you to take advantage of that"

"what do you think I'm gonna do to her? you know damn well I don't like to fool around and I will never try to hurt her, I know she means a lot to you, we're just... in an awkward situation, I think she's unconfortable?"

Luke threw the blankets at me and said "well you better fix it Quintin" and then he's slamming the door, leaving me stading in the corridor.

The next morning I wake up to my growling stomach, and I immediately know why. I'm pretty sure the entire house smells like waffles and bacon, so I make my way to the kitchen to find y/n slicing apples, and I can spot enough food for 30 people (or the equivalent, which is all 7 of us)

"How'd you do this?" I said before thinking, which caused her to jump in surprise and make a cut on her own hand "oh shit, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" I grab her hand, putting it under the water. When she didn't answer, I turned to look at her, only to find a very pale-faced girl trying to catch her breath "yeah I just hate blood" she looked at me and gave me a small smile, which was immediately replaced by a frown "did I wake you? I'm sorry, I tried to be as quiet as possible..." Way to fix this, I thought to myself "I just made you cut your hand, and you're worrying about me waking up early? Jesus, you're... not what I expected" 

I couldn't help but laugh. All this time I was worried about her taking advantage of my brothers in some way, and here she is, making me feel like an asshole. I grabbed a band-aid and secured it on her cut, barely hearing a small "thank you" coming off her lips, and before she can turn around, I say "I'm sorry, for everything. I shouldn't have left you in the hallway when we met and I should have introduced myself, I shouldn't have scared you just... I'm glad you're here, you have no idea how much you mean to my brothers, and I hope you forgive me and you can enjoy being here too" 

She was looking at me with big doe eyes and a big, bright smile, and I felt my heart soften. "Thank you Quinn" she said and I swear I've never been more thankful to see Zegras' face than this moment "ugh it smells so good!" He said while shoving bacon in his mouth, followed by Drysdale who was shaking his head at his friend "morning, what are you two talking about?" he asked, and y/n answered "oh you know, I was thanking him because I finally got my honorary invite to the Hughes lake house this summer," she chirps, wrapping an arm around Jamie's shoulders and leaning into his side

"Morning beauties!" Jack yelled the minute he opened the kitchen door and behind him was a grumpy Luke "do you need to be that loud all the time?" I saw y/n laughing softly, accepting Luke's hug, he stayed there for two minutes and I thought he had fallen asleep again but y/n brushed his curls off his face and Luke grabbed her wrist "what happened to your hand?" He touched her gently "I was preparing everything, and I dissociated, you know how I am" she smiled sheepishly at him "oh my clumsy sis, it smells delicious tho thank you" and he started arguing with the rest of the guys, complaining about not being enough food for him. "You should grab some, they'll have zero mercy if you get none" Her eyes snapped to mine while heat rushed to her cheeks, and I couldn’t control the smile that broke across my face.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Author's Note: couldn't post this last week but this week I'll post a Sebastian Aho request and the 4th chapter

Tag list: @coldheartedmar @adore-u-ls

[skiyoosmi]

if fate permits

⤷ chapter twenty four: just one last time

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Was I such an evil person in my past life to deserve this agony?

The damned question circles your mind over and over again as you walk mindlessly, vision blurry due to the tears that were continuously welling up your eyes. You've always thought watching him fall in love with someone else was already painful enough, but even that couldn't prepare you for the wrenching feeling that your heart felt when you cut the thread, forced to cut him out of your life, figuratively and literally speaking. Now that you're experiencing it yourself, you think that's the reason why people like you were forced to forget— the feeling of your heart endlessly falling to the dark abyss was not something anyone could live with for the rest of their lives, wondering what was so wrong with you that he couldn't bring himself to love you even with a thread physically connecting the two of you.

Stupid gods, they can't even do one thing right. His words echo and you choke out what seems like a pathetic attempt for a laugh, lips wobbling as you cry, "I know right, Tsum. They're so stupid."

Soulmates are so stupid. Your eyes linger on your thread, barely red as it began to become duller each hour that passed and had uneven ends due to the cutting that happened just a while ago. The red string, once bright and glowing in color, that kept you close to Atsumu for so many years, gone in just a few seconds and it felt so unfair, so cruel. Because how could someone decide your fate just like that?

You just have to get through it tonight, YN. Tomorrow, when you wake up, you won't even know that kind of heartbreak. Tomorrow, you repeat to yourself, trying to lessen the gut wrenching feeling swimming inside you; keyword, tried. Still, it doesn't stop the liquids that gather in your eyes and the hiccups that escape your mouth. Because you just loved him so goddamn much that you were willing to give up everything of you just for him, just for his happiness... and yet, he couldn't do it for you, not even one bit of him. And with that, you find yourself drowning in self-pity— no matter how much you sacrificed, no matter how long you put him first, it all still ended with you cutting the thread, the thing you treasured the most. It just wasn't meant to be.

The ringing of your phone resonates through the quiet and unknown park you had stopped by, the picture of your brother popping up on the screen.

"YN. Where in the hell are you? It's already late! Your flight's tomorrow night. Mom's close to losing the last bits of her mind. Tell me whe—"

"'Yoomi," you sob like a child, the minimal strength that kept you standing up finally giving in to your overwhelming emotions as your legs gave out as well, falling on your butt as you clutched your chest in pain, "'Yoomi."

You tried to get words out but your heavy cries stopped you from doing so, only being able to speak out his name.

"YN? What happened? Hey... take a deep breath and tell me where you are, I'll come get you myself and then we can talk about it, yeah?"

The usual monotonous voice he spoke vanished into thin air and was replaced with one that were filled with worry and concern. From the background, you can hear him telling your parents to just stay still, despite their sound of disapprovals, accompanied by the jiggling of keys which you figure were for the car, "YN, tell me where you are. Please."

"I... I..." you hiccup, looking around you for any prominent signs or landmarks, "I'm in a random park and t-there's a convenience store across. The one that we first went to when we moved to Tokyo."

"Okay. Just stay right there. I'm coming."

Kiyoomi takes a deep breath, lightly knocking on your bedroom door, sighing in relief when you responded with a quiet 'come in,' voice muffled. It has been past an hour since you arrived home, your parents opting to leave you alone as soon as they saw your swollen eyes; although, your brother couldn't obviously just sit still and look pretty, not when you're feeling like this when you're leaving tomorrow. He pushes the door open, wincing at the mess that welcomed him— some of your clothes were still not packed, luggages were lying down on the floor and there you were, on the bed, face down and shoved to the pillow.

"Did a storm pass by?" He asks, trying to at least lighten the mood, sitting at the foot of the bed and beginning to fix your things for you. He knew better than to pry, especially when he already had a guess on who brought you in such a devastated state. Instead of replying, you hold your hand up, he can see it for himself anyway.

His usually-calm demeanor breaks as he saw your thread, now in a dark maroon color. He stood up so quick that he felt lightheaded, "YN!"

Your head turns to him, eyes watering once more as you sob, "'Yoomi... I feel dead. Like my heart was forcefully ripped out of my chest. I... I don't know what to do... I can't take this."

He approaches you, engulfing your form in a hug, whispering his comforts as he speaks a gazillion of curses to Atsumu in his mind. He swears he might just punch the blonde to death as soon as he sees him, "You'll be okay. We're here. You're gonna be fine."

"I... I don't want to forget him... Please don't take him away from me... I love him," you cry out to the gods above, praying so desperately even if you knew it was impossible. You were no one special, who were you to be graced with such a miracle? And yet here you were, weeping the same prayers over and over again, knowing deep inside that no matter how much you beg, even if you were already on your knees, tomorrow would still come— the tomorrow that has no Miya Atsumu in it.

At that moment, you wished you hadn't just befriended him, you wished you just left him alone when he was playing with your brother; because nothing could compare to the pain of losing all of him— your soulmate, your beloved, your best friend— in just a matter of seconds.

Kiyoomi finishes packing for you by the time you calmed down a bit and leaves you alone, speaking about you should rest for your flight. As if you could do that... the moment you close your eyes, it's really over because the next time you open them, it's going to be a new YN. Gone will be you who knew each and every part of him, replaced with someone who won't even be able to recognize him...

Yet despite your heart's refusal towards the truth, your mind contradicts it and thinks back to his previous words, "...it has been too long of waiting..."

With that, your resolve crumbles into pieces and you find your eyes fluttering close. Somehow, you give out a small and sad smile, heart aching because of him... just one last time.

I'm sorry for not keeping my promise, Atsumu.

note. no words just... tears up because the next one might just be sadder than this

[nothingbutfangirlsmut]

The Girl Out of Time

Pairing: Bucky X Reader and Sam X Reader

Background: Willow Roffe was born and raised in Brooklyn. She lived her life as happily as she could with her two childhood best friends Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. When they both left her to join the military she tried to continue with life but that didn't get to happen for her for the simple fact that she meant something to James Buchanan Barnes.

Rating: Story will be overall MATURE but not every chapter. There will be strong language, talk of both mental and physical abuse, some good ole angst, and smut. There will be a warning at the beginning of the chapter when it includes smut.

Chapter 14

We were forced to our knees with so many guns pointing at us. We could do nothing but let them arrest us. There was no reason to do anything else. They shoved us all roughly into the back of a van. Nat and Sam on one side then Steve and I on the other. Two guards sat against the back wall to watch us.

"Steve was that-" before I could finish asking my question Steve already had the answer.

"It was him. He looked right at me. He didn't even know me." Steve said in complete disbelief.

"How is that even possible? It was like 70 years ago." Sam said.

He is alive. The man I've forgotten. The man that according to Steve meant so much to me.

"Zola, Bucky's whole unit was captured in 43'. Zola experimented on them. Whatever he did helped Bucky survive that fall. They must have found him." Steve said with a look of pure heart break.

"None of that's your fault Steve." Nat said quietly.

"She's right" I added.

"Even when I had nothing I had Bucky and Will." Steve said softly.

I scooted closer to him then laid my head on his shoulder. He rested his head against mine as well.

"We need to get a doctor here. If we don't put pressure on that wound she's gonna bleed out here in the truck." Sam said pulling my attention to Nat.

She did look weak and pale. A loud electric sound came from one of the guards. There was a pause then one guard attacked the other knocking them out. The four of us stared at the guard in shock.

"That thing was squeezing my brain." The guard said as she took off the helmet.

It was Agent Hill.

We all looked at her in shock as she took in each of our faces stopping at Sam.

"Who's this guy?" Hill asked.

"Sam Wilson. He's a friend." Steve answered.

Hill nodded then got to her feet. She pulled a small device out of her pocket. She used it to cut off all of our cuffs then she cut a large circle in the floor of the truck.

"Let's go then" she said gesturing to the hole.

One after the other we slipped threw the hole into the road. Once we were each free Hill brought us to a van parked in a deserted alley.

"We have to be quick." She said opening the door.

It was a short drive to where ever we were going. Hill drove like an absolute maniac. Steve held a piece of cloth against Nat's wound trying to slow the bleeding. The van came to a stop in front of some kind of bunker or dam. Hill escorted us inside quickly.

"GSW she's lost at least a pint." Hill said quickly to the man running towards us.

"Maybe two" Sam added.

"Let me take her." The man said as he reached for her.

"She'll want to see him first." Hill said simply.

They led us down the long hall into a small room blocked off with plastic. As soon as Hill moved the plastic back we could all see Fury laying awake in a makeshift hospital bed.

"About damn time" Fury said in a chiding voice.

We all entered the room to stand around Fury's bed. Nat was sitting as she got doctored up.

"Lacerated spinal column, cracked sternum, shattered collarbone, perforated liver, and one hell of a head ache." Fury explained his condition.

"Don't forget your collapsed lung." The man doctoring up Nat said.

"Oh let's not forget that. Otherwise I'm good." Fury said nonchalantly.

"They cut you open. Your heart stopped." Nat said in disbelief.

"Tetrodotoxin B, slows the pulse to one beat a minute. Banner developed it for stress. It didn't work so great for him but we found a use for it." Fury explained.

"Why all the secrecy? Why not just tell us?" Steve asked in his skeptical tone.

"Any attempt on the director's life had to look successful." Hill said simply.

"Can't kill you if you're already dead. Besides I wasn't sure who to trust." Fury added.

After Nat was fixed up we all moved to another room that held a table like it was for a meeting. Sam and I looked at each other feeling slightly out of place. I stood between Sam and Steve and we all watched Fury. He sighed then pulled out a photo. He held it up to look at it.

"This man declined a Nobel peace prize. He said peace wasn't an achievement it was a responsibility." Fury put the photo on the table then shook his head.

"See, it's stuff like this that gives me trust issues." He added.

"We need to stop the launch." Nat said as she too watched Fury.

"I don't think the counsel is accepting my calls anymore." Fury said sarcastically.

Hill opened the case on the table then turned it around so we could all see the contents. It looked like three small electronic cards.

"What's that?" Sam asked.

"Once the helicarriers reach 3000 feet they'll triangulate with insight satellites becoming fully weaponized." Hill said.

"We need to breach those carriers and replace their targeting blades with our own." Fury added.

"One or two won't cut it. We need to link all three carriers for this to work because if even one of those ships remains operational a whole lot of people are going to die." Hill explained.

I gulped. I had never been on a mission that had this high of stakes before. I was still fairly new to all this. On top of that I just found out the man I've forgotten is still alive and a Hydra brain washed killing machine. What else could possibly go wrong?

"We have to assume everyone aboard those carriers is Hydra. To get past them insert these server blades then maybe, just maybe, we can salvage what's left." Fury said matter of factly.

"We're not salvaging anything!" Steve's voice boomed angrily.

"We're not just taking down the carriers Nick. We're taking down Shield." Steve said in a commanding and angry voice.

"Shield had nothing to do with this." Fury stated.

"You gave me this mission. This is how it ends. Shield's been compromised. You said so yourself. Hydra grew right under your nose and nobody noticed." Steve continued.

"Why do you think we are meeting in a cave? I noticed." Fury added just as harshly as Steve.

"How many paid the price before you did?" Steve asked.

That question seemed to hit Fury. He leaned back in his chair and sighed.

"Look, I didn't know about Barnes." Fury said softly.

My heart jumped at the mention of his name. Is that why Steve is so upset? Because Barnes is alive and working for Hydra? I couldn't understand it because I couldn't remember the man. Anything to do with him was wiped from my brain.

"Even if you had would you have told me? Or would you have compartmentalized that too? Shield, Hydra, it all goes." Steve said with a final sounding tone.

"He's right" Hill said softly then nodded.

Fury looked at Nat. She leaned back in her chair but stayed quiet. His eyes moved to Sam.

"Don't look at me. I do what he does just slower." Sam said pointing at Steve.

I couldn't help but smile at his statement. My smile fell quickly as Fury's eyes landed on me.

"I've stood by Steve since we were kids. Nothing is going to change that." I said as confidently as I could.

Fury sighed then leaned back in his chair again.

"Well, looks like you're giving the orders now Captain." Fury said.

"Gather everything and everyone we need. We'll head out soon. I need a breather." Steve ordered then turned and left the room.

I was quick to follow him. I knew he wasn't ok. He must have so many things going threw his head. I followed Steve all the way outside to a bridge. He stopped in the middle of it then turned to look out over the water. I quietly stepped up beside him then leaned on the railing.

"I wish you could remember him." Steve whispered.

"Me too" I said softly.

"I remember the day my mother died. You and Bucky tried to find me when I went off on my own only to end up waiting on me outside my house. Bucky tried to talk me into moving in with him. It was a moment that will stay with me forever. How you two were always there when I needed you most. I must have been so weak and pathetic to you both." Steve looked down at his feet.

"Stevie, no, not even close. I remember going to your place to tell you I'd always be there. That was our thing. Always. I would give anything to remember Bucky simply to help you threw whatever is going on in your mind right now." I said trying to make him feel better.

Steve chuckled.

"Bucky means as much to me as you do. All I ever had in this world was you two. Promise me that even though you don't remember him you'll help me save him." Steve said turning to face me.

"All I can do is try Stevie but I'll give it everything I got." I said with a small smile.

The sound of someone clearing their throat had as turning around to see Sam.

"He's gonna be there ya know?" Sam asked the both of us.

I nodded.

"I know" Steve said softly.

"Who ever he use to be, the guy he is now, I don't think he's the kind you save. I think he's the kind you stop." Sam said.

"I don't know if I can do that." Steve said.

"He might not give you a choice. He doesn't know you." Sam tried to explain.

"He will" Steve added confidently.

Then a thought crossed my mind. I grabbed Steve's arm turning him to face me.

"I think he remembers me." I said slightly out of breath.

"What?" Both Steve and Sam questioned.

"Each time we have seen him the way he looks at me isn't a empty cold glare. It's a wide eyed and surprised look. When I fought him or tried to all he did was block my attacks. He didn't try to attack me even once." I explained quickly.

Both men stared at me in silence.

"How could he remember you but not him?" Sam asked pointing to Steve.

I shrugged.

"If Hydra altered his memories then maybe they erased everything but me. Maybe it was hydra who erased him from my memories." I said thinking aloud.

"Why?" Sam asked.

"There's only one way to find out. Gear up its time." Steve said then started back into the mountain.

I went to follow him but Sam stopped me.

"Are you really going to try and save him?" Sam asked with a small amount of pain in his eyes.

I reached up then softly kissed him.

"We have to try." I whispered.

---

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