#it's not an angel/devil situation though since neither of them give good advice

[ogsherlockholmes]

Someone: So what did you do today?

The hallucination of John Watson I keep on my shoulder at all times: Lie.

[regrettablewritings]

Hi!😁 I'll give you another ship with my dear Lucifer morningstar from Lucifer cuz as it turns out I'm a hoe for a lot of characters but what can ya do? Thank you!

Aw hell yii, somebody's talkin' my lingo! 😎

Who the fuck put the Peeps in the microwave?: Lucifer. And no, it's not because he actually likes them or is curious about what would happen; he's seen plenty of Youtube videos enough to know exactly what happens. No . . . It's far more malicious . . . Generally speaking, you don't like the constant comparison of cats to the devil. But after getting to actually meet The Devil, you think that those believers might be on to something. Lucifer's whorey ways bleeds into his need for attention like red bleeds into white in the wash, and he's completely shameless about it. For example, if he feels like you may be focusing too much on work or, gasp, other people besides him, you run the risk of encountering a very . . . mischievous Luci. Not that he's not already a prankster, but he somehow becomes a bit more childish. Catlike in some respects. He puts your mugs up higher than what you can normally reach without having to climb on the countertop. He joins you at your kitchen table while you're reading over files for work and puts on his most angelic face, insisting he just wants to keep you company and will be as quiet as vermin in Dear Old Dad's house . . . then proceed to obnoxiously click a pen while pretending to solve a word problem, or eat cheese puffs obnoxiously loud. And then . . . the Peeps: The absolute prettyboy bastard used your microwave as a casualty of war, plopping the unplated, mutant-colored marshmallows directly on the glass and letting them go. To be fair, it technically didn't ruin anything. But at least he had your attention now -- because after fussing at him for making a mess, you were currently supervising him scrubbing not only the effected areas of the glass dish, but the rest of the microwave as well. Unfortunately, you can't say a lesson was really learned because now Luci knows that if he wants to get a rise out of you, what he needs is a bunch of candies from the bargain bin.

Who forgot to put the cat out before sex?: It's not that either of you forgot the cat was there -- it was that Lucifer wanted the bloody animal to give the both of you some privacy. And because Lucifer forgot the cat was there. He was simply too busy embracing you in a liplock and laying you down on the couch to notice the glaring eyes of the cat you had rescued from the shelter. Thankfully, you two didn't get very far before the lovingly-named Lucipurr released a meow, indicating that he had become flesh and bone in the few hours it had been since you'd last fed him. Suffice to say, after a startled Lucifer flung himself off of you and onto the floor, nearly breaking his ass on the coffee table (and the laughing fit that had induced on your end), the mood was killed. For the next fifteen minutes, that is. The next time he tried anything, Lucifer made sure that his efforts would be continued in the bedroom (but not before he did a complete check of every nook and cranny in there to make sure the furry bastard wasn't trying anything).

Who posts Vines/TikToks of the other doing embarrassing shit?: Lucifer absolutely lacks boundaries. The moment he discovered smartphones, social media, and all their potential, he was all in and recording as many videos of friends and coworkers as he could in as many awkward or unideal situations as they came. You felt bad for Dan being his constant target, but you were somewhat sure that Dan felt bad for you in a way: After all, you were dating the freaking guy and yet Lucifer had few qualms about posting a video of you, drunkenly singing karaoke in what was supposed to be a private room? Harsh.

Who breaks the most phones?: Lucifer does. He's not necessarily careless, but his part-time occupation does lead him to circumstances that tend to put his phone in danger. You, Chloe, Dan, literally everyone has told him to just leave his phone in the car if he's going to get it broken that often while on the job, but the dumbass never learns. Not that he really seems to care all that much: With his wealth, he can always buy a new one. Though, the only times he gets frustrated is when photos or videos don't quite make it to the transfer and things get lost along the way. Funny photos, suggestive videos, photos and videos of you . . . Photos and videos of you being funny or suggestive . . . Downright pornographic videos he had recorded of you -- Though don't worry: He's sure you'll be more than happy to help recreate the latter. He'd gladly help you . . .

Who dies first?: It should go without saying. It really should. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. Lucifer was always one to get caught up in his indulgences, after all: Somewhere along the way, he must've gotten too swept up in the thrill, the feeling of adoration. He tells himself this but it's really just denial. Closer to the truth is that it all really was just denial: He denied the idea that you would ever leave him, that you would ever die. Luci was never good with his own thoughts and feelings, but the way you made him feel was nearly enough to convince him that, in some way, you would just plain live forever. But of course, this was not the case: It didn't matter that you were fantastical enough to love and be loved by the Devil; you were still very much a human. Very much mortal. So susceptible to things like time and illness and injury. Lucifer was the King of Indulgences. It was extremely rare for him to experience regret. But when your time inevitably ran out, remorse filled him like smoke filled his lungs with every cigarette he ran through from the moment your funeral arrangements were decided. He could never regret knowing you, as much as part of him thought doing so would spare him this pain. He tried to think of how much better he might've been had he never met you, and it always felt like he was stuck in his own personal Hell Loop with everything going wrong over and over no matter how hard he tried to change it. He regretted that for as much time as he lived up with you, he felt like he didn't use nearly enough of that time to just . . . enjoy you. You in your mortality, your fleeting beauty and love that would nonetheless haunt him for however long he might go on for. So maybe . . . for eternity? This didn't feel like his own personal Hell Loop: This was his own personal Hell Loop. And until he learned to forgive himself, it would never end. So he'd be stuck here for maybe . . . eternity.

Which one I could see as being lactose intolerant: Neither. Unless they get brought down to mortal enough, Celestials generally don't suffer ailments, let alone from things like food allergies.

Who thinks they can do something really well even though they can't?: Lucifer . . . It's not that he's not smart. But by Dad, he is lacking in so much self-awareness that it can be maddening. He thinks he's pretty good at following Dr. Linda's advice (and, to an extent, he's progressing). But the fact of the matter is, he's incredibly troubling at best. Not nearly as bad as some patients, mind you, but when Linda admitted to you that one or two sessions of Lucifer completely misinterpreting her advice nearly drove her to consider adding a secret bar into her desk, you believed her and didn't blame her for one bit.

Who is more likely to get kicked out of bed?: Lucifer is a changed devil. But it's a very slow change. You're more than happy to understand and accept this, but that doesn't mean you have to let him and his issues walk all over you. Sometimes, the big dummy just says or does things without thinking -- or because he thought too hard and thought this was the best decision to avoid further strife. And you try to be patient with him about these tendencies, you really do. But that doesn’t erase your ability to be upset by these habits, or your right to be. And no amount of him buttering you up is going to be acceptable, even when he comes by your place, armed with a dish he so thoughtfully prepared for you. Nope, he can literally go to Hell with that (really, you’re sure the demons there would appreciate a nice beef wellington); you just need some space. Ironically, this may create a cycle wherein his need to make you happy again and have your attention on him drives him to constantly hover around you and attempt to win you over, which in turn just further frustrates you. It’ll likely keep going until you either snap or a loved one pulls Luci to the side and gives him a heads up that maybe he should respect your boundaries. After all, intention isn’t the problem here: It’s the actions taken. And as much as it hurts him knowing that he accidentally hurt you, he has to respect your need for time to cool off. He forces himself to go back to his place and tries to think less about how he feels and more about how you might feel, and try to work out ways to avoid similar incidents in the future. And even though the conclusions he comes to may not be perfect, you at least respect the effort -- particularly when he next sees you, no longer armed with snacks from your favorite bakery or bouquet-carrying teddy bears. Instead, all he has is an apology. It’s sheepish, and it feels foreign to someone who rarely experiences shame or regret, but you know his whole heart is in it even if he himself doesn’t understand entirely why that is. Which is good because that’s just part one of the process; part two involves him warming up that spot in your bed that’s reserved for him!

Who uses the computer the most?: You, absolutely. Lucifer's adorably but altogether completely crap when it comes to technology. Besides, he can easily find other things with which to amuse himself, and doing the paperwork is for other people anyway.

Thank you sooooo much for participating again!!! It really means a lot!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[krakenbait]

kraken bait 2: no stats just vibes

hello and welcome back to another installment of the kraken bait list, where i make random predictions about who i think is ending up in seattle come the expansion draft! i’ve got a special edition today, as i didn’t just do a few players. no, i did an entire mock expansion draft, with a player pulled from each of the 30 teams participating. i followed the expansion draft rules and had the help of corwin @chaos-hockey as my CapFriendly consultant (and solver of indecision), but for the most part, this is, as The Broadscast says, no stats, just vibes.

so without further ado, let’s get into it!

Anaheim Ducks: Danton Heinen 

thank @charliemashavoy for this idea 

Arizona Coyotes: Lawson Crouse 

i don’t know many yotes players, so might as well pick one whose name i at least recognize

Boston Bruins: Jake DeBrusk 

corwin and i went back and forth on this one a little. it was between debrusk and trent frederic, but corwin as the bruins fan said frederic was too good to give up

Buffalo Sabres: Anders Bjork 

this slot was occupied by taylor hall until he got traded, so why not the guy hall got traded for?

Calgary Flames: Matthew Tkachuk 

i’m gonna throw them under the bus- this one was all corwin. it seems pretty unusual to me that the flames would leave tkachuk exposed, but hey, weird things happen, i guess

Carolina Hurricanes: Brock McGinn 

this slot was originally occupied by haydn fleury until he got traded. finding a replacement was a bit tricky since i don’t know a whole lot about the canes depth type players, but corwin and i settled on mcginn

Chicago Blackhawks: Dylan Strome 

one of my original kraken bait picks! (thanks @jakejuentzel) corwin argued with me on this one (they thought it should be adam gaudette), but again, no stats just vibes

Colorado Avalanche: Ryan Graves 

i like gravy a lot, but with the avs defensive depth, he’ll definitely be exposed. however, he’s a good enough player that seattle taking him is a good possibility. from one of my favorite teams to another!

Columbus Blue Jackets: Boone Jenner 

similar deal to the canes. i originally had one of the goalies here, but apparently elvis isn’t eligible for the expansion draft, and i also don’t really know the jackets roster. corwin tossed out jenner and i said sure

Dallas Stars: Jamie Oleksiak 

don’t have much commentary here. the vibes are right

Detroit Red Wings: Christian Djoos 

isn’t christian juice just wine? (i’m sorry i’m sorry)

Edmonton Oilers: Tyson Barrie 

another original kraken bait! it just seems right

Florida Panthers: Mackenzie Weegar

i do not know the panthers at all and neither does corwin, but i recognized this name and decided to go for it. i will take advice from a panthers consultant for the next edition of this list if you are upset

Los Angeles Kings: Trevor Moore 

i don’t know who this is but it seems right enough

Minnesota Wild: Matt Dumba 

i kind of protested this one a little because i like dumba as a player, but i could see him getting exposed and taken by seattle

Montreal Canadiens: Jesperi Kotkaniemi 

it took me three tries to spell that right. oops.

Nashville Predators: Juuse Saros 

corwin and i disagreed on this one again. i thought saros would be the goalie the preds protect since he’s significantly younger than rinne, but corwin argued the preds like rinne too much to leave him exposed (not that i could see seattle taking rinne), so i gave them this one

New Jersey Devils: Nathan Bastian 

OUCH OUCH IT HURTS the idea of nate being separated from mikey in the expansion draft is painful. but i was having a tough time thinking of the devils expansion draft situation so corwin tossed out a name. to quote them, “ron francis doesn’t care about your feelings!”

New York Islanders: Sebastian Aho 

the inferior sebastian aho gets shipped to seattle. it makes sense.

New York Rangers: Kevin Rooney 

it just seems right for this former devil to rejoin the cryptid gang with the kraken.

Ottawa Senators: Victor Mete 

i don’t know a whole lot about him aside from the fact that the habs let him go on waivers, but he seems like the kraken bait type

Philadelphia Flyers: Nolan Patrick 

again with the controversy! and again i’m blaming corwin. this seems kind of far-fetched to me, but they were adamant, so...

Pittsburgh Penguins: Brandon Tanev 

maybe he’ll find some more ghosts in seattle

San Jose Sharks: Mario Ferraro 

sharks fan friends i’m sorry! it feels right though. (and just imagine how good @18minutemajor‘s kraken drawings would look...)

St. Louis Blues: Jacob de la Rose 

i could not tell you who this is. i am also accepting blues consultation

Tampa Bay Lighting: Blake Coleman 

pickles to seattle has become my favorite kraken bait theory of late and i am not getting off this boat anytime soon

Toronto Maple Leafs: Travis Dermott 

i don’t know much about the leafs so i’m trusting corwin’s judgement here

Vancouver Canucks: Jake Virtanen 

this slot was originally occupied by adam gaudette before he got traded, but i feel like virtanen has equally the right vibes

Washington Capitals: Vitek Vanecek

the only thing i really know about the caps roster is that they’re old as dirt, so this seems about right

Winnipeg Jets: Laurent Brossoit

i’m still a little iffy on this one but corwin and i couldn’t think of anyone better. i think we can do better on the goalie situation for the next go-around though...

and that is that for kraken bait: no stats just vibes edition! 

i will probably do another list soon, maybe around the end of the regular season, so if you have strong kraken bait opinions or just know a team that i don’t, drop me an ask or a DM and i’ll cite you as a kraken bait consultant on the next list!

[gayregis]

hi! why do u think Regis doesn’t not exist as a character without hansa?

i am so glad you asked this question!! it's something important to me when it comes to regis's character that was made apparent to me after i read the hansa parts of baptism of fire, tower of the swallow, and lady of the lake. this argument came to me from flipping back and forth between games!regis as he appears in blood & wine, and books!regis as he appears originally. 

this train of thought stems from the differences between book and game regis, which i think i have already described at length somewhere else (edit, i found some thoughts (still couldnt find the og post i had in mind though, idk where it is, it was very long and i wrote it on a train): (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x))

but to summarize, games!regis isn't as personal with geralt, he doesn't seem committed to humanity at all, and his scenes involve more depressing and violent overtones (forced relapse? unable to control self with tempting of blood, having to be locked in a cage? what in the spiral...). in this analysis of the differences between games and book regis, i attributed some of games!regis's OOC-ness to the lack of the rest of geralt's hansa.

i think that regis cannot really be an accurate representation of his character without the presence or at the very least, the acknowledgement of, the other members of the hansa in a sincere and involved manner.

the conditions that i mean by this: when i refer to the "rest of the hansa," i mean at the very least geralt, dandelion, milva, and cahir (since angouleme was introduced later), but especially milva, for reasons i will desciribe later. when i refer to a "sincere and involved manner," i mean to say that the characters can't just sit there as pretty background or interact once and never again - they actually have to interact multiple times if not constantly, have meaningful conversations which demonstrate things about their characters, play off of each other in humorous exchanges, etc.

okay now onto my two main points

i. positive relationships with other members of the hansa demonstrate commitment to humanity

regis’s primary character goal and purpose in-universe is to be the “epitome of humanity.” i ask, how is this goal ever going to get represented or achieved if he never speaks to or interacts with any humans on a meaningful level other than geralt?

regis’s first and foremost role, that we learn as an audience as he introduces himself in his character debut in fen carn, is that he’s a barber-surgeon. this means that he is a healer, his whole job (which is quite significant in a medieval-esque setting such as this, one’s job pretty much defines their entire life, which you can see with geralt, yennefer, dandelion, milva, cahir, etc) is that he heals people and tries to help as many human lives as possible. 

how is he supposed to be a surgeon if he never actually is shown healing anyone? if he doesn’t have close relationships with the hansa, who else is he supposed to heal? one of the large parts that regis provides the company in baptism of fire is that he actually functions as a healer. he assists the peasant milva gave a concussion to, he sews the head wound dandelion garnered from his and geralt’s escape from the partisan camp, and he helps milva with her options relating to her pregnancy and later immediately goes to provide medical attention when she begins to miscarry. these actions demonstrate not only his role in society and demonstrate how he fits into the world of the witcher, but demonstrate his committment to humanity and to the wellbeing of others.

but of course, he could heal random other humans. why does he need to be around the hansa, specifically?

regis has many valuable interactions with the hansa, part of which i’ll expand on in my second point, but his developed friendships with each of the members and as a group begin to define him as committed to humanity not only in a general ethical sense, but in a personal manner. 

i have mentioned this “arrogant immortal vampire” archetype (think of like, a vampire that thinks they’re so much better, powerful, and knowledgable than humans just because they are a vampire) that regis is completely the opposite of, and we get to see that he is the opposite of this archetype only through his interactions with the rest of the hansa. 

it’s parts like when dandelion notices, “i see you know your fish!” and regis replies modestly, “i know lots of things :)!” or when regis criticizes geralt for not having a goal and that the cardinal directions of the compass mean nothing to him, and milva disagrees and says, “but ciri’s his goal? how can you say she’s nothing?” and regis apologizes and explains he was joking, without much tact... when regis treats angouleme with distance in their first meeting and tries to accuse her of lying, but then gives her his horse and in the next book defends her against fringilla/distracts fringilla’s sharp tongue from her and onto him. regis demonstrates humility and respect for others, as well as genuine friendship to others and propensity for humor during his interactions in the hansa.

without the hansa, specifically in blood and wine, what is regis? he doesn’t interact with anyone else, only geralt, maybe another vampire. how is he supposed to demonstrate and develop such meaningful interaction, good nature, and weighty values towards humanity without ever having the opportunity to be amongst friends? he simply will be a shell of the character he is supposed to be if he is separated from the hansa which defines him. 

ii. contrasts with other characters develop character

regis without the rest of the hansa will be expotentially weaker as a character because his qualities are not effectively made apparent without contrasting him against other characters.

i think milva and regis in baptism of fire have a very good character dynamic in that they are kind of opposites of one another. milva is action, force, to kill. regis is talk, placation, to heal. they address situations in extremely different manners, and have extremely different senses. this is good because they are both members of geralt’s company, and are liable to sway geralt either way, sort of representing a fork in the crossroads, or an angel and devil on his shoulders.

this is apparent in many scenes, but the ones that first come to mind are in baptism of fire, when regis describes the refugee camp in a very elaborate manner and then milva tells him “why use three dozen words, when three will suffice?” and is very blunt about the situation, and later when they are sitting by the fire as regis dispells myths about vampires, milva criticizes his philosophy and points out how generally useless it is. neither character is wrong in this situation, but their exchanges provide an opposite to compare the other to.

if regis spoke about philosophy on his own, and geralt nodded and muttered “hm...” (as you might see in tw3), or argued a little with him about what he was proposing, but ultimately conceded (as you see in baptism of fire), then what you as a reader get from this exchange is that regis philosophizes. that gives you information about his character, but it’s essentially useless - what does that say about him? he philosophizes. great, that’s good for him. but it doesn’t make him stand out as a character, because there’s no dissenting voice or someone to argue with him and point out the faults in his approach. 

by milva addressing regis’s approach as not the only way to approach a situation and to give another perspective, you learn something valuable about both of their characters: regis doesn’t just philosophize, he philosophizes unnecessarily, to the point of annoying and excessiveness. milva doesn’t just come at things from a simple point of view, she is headstrong and unwilling to entertain ideas she deems stupid. this is so much more interesting than just regis talking on his own, and no one responding to it with a genuinely different viewpoint or approach. geralt may argue with him, but in tw3 geralt is more of a vessel for the player to adopt rather than a character so his responses are limited, and also in baptism of fire, geralt is more wanton to argue with regis about the actual topic regis brings up: for example, discussing vampires and the symbolism of blood. geralt disagrees with regis’s analysis of the symbolism of blood and engages with him on this, milva disagrees with addressing the whole subject in a philosophical manner entirely.

and it’s not just contrasts... it’s also the general exchanges they have as a company, like regis getting excited about what dandelion is writing in the tower of the swallow, like angouleme calling him uncle and him trying to address her formally but she gives him more sass, like when they are walking in angren and regis points out the pines, “take a closer look at those trees,” and begins to lecture them, like when regis reappears and gives advice to geralt despite geralt trying to get rid of him. it’s this kind of human interaction which demonstrates to the reader his character traits, what kind of behavior he is prone to, how he is liable to respond in a given situation.

idk how to end this but basically yeah like regis needs his friends :( i also believe that more broadly, as it relates to real life, that we are defined by the people we share our lives with and how we treat them, not by our own conception of ourselves. it is our actions towards others and care which make an impact on this world and show what our inner characters are like

[fuckyeahcarlosandlidia]

Lidia & Carlos: lies and fear

This is gonna be long, so you’re warned :D.  I like writing and this isn’t certainly something you can explain in 2 lines. I thought about all the times Lidia and Carlos fell apart, broke up and went separate ways through the seasons. The reasons, the events and the consequences. I watch this show as if I was reading a book, as if it was Lidia who narrates it to me and that’s why all the chapters are connected to each other. And I realized that there’s a pattern here, that history quite repeats itself and they act pretty much the same way for the same reasons.  

From a very young age, we're taught that lying is wrong that it makes you a bad person. But that's just the first lie. Lies help us overcome our fears. They project a tailored image of ourselves to others. In short, lies help us live. I never felt guilt or remorse, and I always got away with it. Until I decided to become Lidia Aguilar. But why do we do it? Why do we lie, knowing that the truth could come to light? Maybe the fear of facing the truth paralyzes us. You need to find courage when you don't have any. But we're not always brave enough to face the truth. And we stay there, motionless, waiting, unaware that, like it or not, the truth, unable to resign itself to living in the shadows, always comes to light in the end. And when that happens, no lie can save you.– Lidia Aguilar, Chapter 3. “Lies”.

Fear is the only thing keeping us alive. When we are threatened by danger, fear sharpens our senses and helps us solve problems that we thought were impossible to solve. Embracing our fears is the best way to overcome them. Fear is part of every single decision we make particularly when that decision affects the lives of those we love the most. But fear can't be beaten. It must be accepted as part of life. That is the only way to leave cowardice aside. Because being brave is not the same as not being afraid. It means facing your destiny, no matter how terrible it might be. Some are not strong enough to face it, though. Fear can take many shapes, and it feeds on lies. It paralyzes us. It renders us incapable of solving a problem.–Lidia Aguilar, Chapter 28. “Fear.”

Let’s start from the very beginning. In season 1, Lidia approaches Carlos to steal the Rotary, these are her intentions. Things, though, go in a way she didn’t expect because he ended up stealing her heart, as much as she ended up stealing his. It was unplanned, it was unexpected and that’s why it was so beautiful. Because the most beautiful things happen when you don’t expect them. And neither of them were expecting each other.  There’s a problem here, though. Carlos has no idea Lidia has to steal his project because Beltrán is blackmailing her.  And Carlos has no idea that she’s Alba, the girl his best friend has always been in love with. The girl Francisco lost at the train station and that, since then, he was never able to forget about. Through all of this, what is Lidia worried about? Yes, she’s worried about Francisco because she doesn’t want him to lose his life, but she also doesn’t want to lose her life with Carlos.

You're walking on a spiderweb, princess. Be careful you don’t get caught in it. This man loves Lidia Aguilar. Believe me, you can’t keep a lie like that for the rest of your life. This is what Victoria tells Lidia in 1x07. She makes Lidia realize what the problem is. It’s a huge thing she’s keeping from Carlos.  And that’s why later, when she’s alone with him in bed, and he tells her that he loves her, Lidia expresses her fear out loud. When you meet the real Lidia, will you love me the same?  It’s pretty interesting she keeps refers to herself as Lidia, no matter what.  And this is very important because it proves, as many other times, that Lidia wants to be Lidia. But let’s consider Lidia’s fear. Will Carlos love her the same when he knows her intentions with the Rotary and that, mostly, she is Alba? Will he love her the same, despite the lies?

Lidia is in love with Carlos and she wants to tell him the truth. So despite her fear, her intentions are to tell him the truth, and she even has precious Angeles who suggests her to do the right thing, to be brave and to tell him personally, not by a letter. That’s why she asks him to go with her at the train station. What does happen at the train station? Carlos kneels to the ground and pulls out a ring and does one of the best proposals ever. Right in that moment, Francisco gets there to bring those pictures of him and Lidia, because he finally got them back. And Lidia has the chance to choose right there.  And it’s a very big decision about her future. Of course, she would have said everything to Carlos right there. But fear stopped her.  Fear of losing him. Fear of having to deal with all the consequences, when her second chance is right there in front of her and wants exactly the same things she wants. Everything gets even more complicated, when her friends risk to get fired if the Rotary gets the patent.  In the end, truth comes to the surface, as it always does, and Carlos finds out everything. Lidia being Alba and Lidia stealing the Rotary. In such a bad way.  All of a sudden and all together. Obviously, Carlos believes it was all a lie and he doesn’t even let Lidia explain.  All he sees is lies, all he feels is pain and he breaks up with her, believing she’s not the person he thought he knew, the person he was in love with and wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Let’s compare this situation with what happens with Carlos in season 4, which I still believe was written in a very bad way and pushed Carlos to the extremes, making him quite OOC, in order to go with the storyline they wanted to tell.  In season 4, Carlos gets caught in his spiderweb.  It all stars with some money he owes his mother, some money he used to rebuild the Company as fast as possible, even though Lidia didn’t agree about it, because she didn’t want any kind of obbligation with Carmen Cifuentes.  Probably, Carlos thought his mother wouldn’t be a problem anymore – which is kinda in character because Carlos is naïve (something I kinda love about him, BTW) – and it was for a good cause.  But obviously, his mother is still a huge problem, his mother is the devil, and of course she comes back to him to blackmail him. If he doesn’t give her money back, she would report him and Elisa to the Police. So, we have a blackmail in this case, too. Carlos only wants to keep his mother away from away his family and fix the problem without involving Lidia.

Meanwhile, there’s the whole “Francisco is in a coma” situation. Carlos clearly feels frustrated because he’s not living with Lidia the life he wants to live with her. He feels neglected and he desperately needs her by his side, because Lidia is Carlos’ compass. She’s his strength as much as he’s hers. They both feel stronger when they’re together, when they do things together. And this whole mess is clearly keeping at distance, despite how much they try to save some time for themselves.  It’s never enough.  And Carlos has been growing this fear, that she might be still in love with Francisco. Because of a conversation he heard, and because of her attitude, so distant, so focused on him and it’s like whatever Carlos does, it seems it’s like never enough. Carlos is always been afraid of losing her, for whatever reason. Last season he was scared of losing forever because she was falling apart about Eva. This season, though, his enemy was more concrete. And his insecurities came back in full force. And that’s why he’s completely unable to tell her Francisco woke up that night. That Francisco has only memories of his past, of Alba. He wants to do it, he tells Elisa he will, he’s there, sitting on the sofa and thinking about the right words to start the conversation.

But when Lidia tells him about Oscar and Carlota’s drama, that she hopes it’s not the last time they see each other, fear prevails and he can’t stay anything. In his case, he doesn’t even have precious Angeles to give him right advices. He has Elisa, who, yes, tells him that it’s right for Lidia to know Francisco woke up, but she doesn’t do it in the right way. She keeps telling him he’s just so scared of losing her and that all he does - paying Francisco’s treatments, not telling Lidia he’s awake – is just because he’s so afraid she will leave the moment Francisco wakes up because she isn’t in love with him anymore.  This is not the right way to approach a person who already feels insecure and clearly very much desperate about losing the person he loves. You can’t make projections of your own relationship with a man who didn’t love as if this one, the one Carlos and Lidia have, was the same. Anyway, Carlos can’t tell Lidia the truth.  He gets caught in a long series of mistakes and bad choice because of his fears.  His fears paralyze him, just as much as his mother holds him over. And obviously, as always, truth comes at the surface and Lidia finds out everything.  In the worst way possible, and she gets to know the truth about everything. She doesn’t even let him explain, all she sees is lies, all she feels is pain. And she believes Carlos is not the person she thought he was, the person she thought she was in love with and wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

In Carlos and Lidia’s love story, there’s another even that leads to a break up. In season 3, Lidia tries to kill Carmen, because she’s completely full of revenge and hate towards the woman who she thinks caused the death of Eva and destroyed hers and Carlos’ life.  Without thinking, without considering the consequences, Lidia makes this decision about not just Carmen Cifuentes, but also about the mother of the man she loves and is in a relationship with.  Because Carmen is also Carlos’ mother.  She regrets it, she realizes immediately what she’s done and that Carmen could die.  Have you told Carlos? Carlota asked.  If she told him, she’d lose him. Marga replied.  And you can see terror on Lidia’s face. The girls give her the advice not to tell him anything because they both need each other and because they have already been through a lot. And to protect him from the truth. Lidia, Carlos needs you and you need him. That night Lidia stays with Carlos at the hospital to take care of him, because he needs her.  Lidia tries her best to make him focus on her and not his mother, because she can clearly see how sad and worried he is.  And that’s when the proposal happens. Why don’t we get married?  This time for real. And that’s when Carlos lets go and gives himself to her completely.  And they’re happy again.

The morning after, police tell Carlos someone tried to murder his mother.  And Lidia just can’t lie anymore. Let’s examine Lidia and Carlos’ argument.

Lidia. Please I beg you. Tell me it wasn't you.

Carlos…

How could you do something like this? What kind of person does something like this? I know I've hit rock bottom.

I tried to stop it, but it was too late.

Shut up! Nothing you say now will change what you've done.

Was that the reason for all that nonsense in there? Telling me we're a family and how much you love me?

No, no! Everything I said yesterday is true. I love you so much.

You don't know what love is! If you did, you'd have known how to forgive. The best thing now is for us to go our separate ways.  So please go.

And Lidia’s voiceover:  I could never blame Carlos.  I understood.  I saw his gaze change.  He ceased to see the woman he'd promised to love.  Losing him was the cost of my sin.

Now, let’s examine what happens to Lidia and Carlos in season 4 since the night Carlos lies about Francisco being awake and with amnesia. Lidia comes back home and tells him he wants to go to the hospital.  He was waiting for her, preparing himself to reveal everything. The first thing he asks is about Oscar and Carlota, Lidia said that line about hoping it’s not the last time they may see each other. And Carlos froze. With terror on his face. The fear of losing Lidia, the person he loves the most, comes back to him in full force and the courage he may have tried to find before just goes away.  And then he focuses on her, on how she feels and seeing her so exhausted and desperate, he just can’t think about anything else but her.  About how much she needs to rest, about they both need to rest.  In that moment she needs him as much as he needs her.  And that night together is exactly like the night they spent at the hospital in Carmen’s room.  A night full of promises and love.  And the next day Carlos asks her to marry him, exactly like Lidia before. And she does accept him the very same day. And the next day everything falls apart just like it happened before. And let’s examine Lidia and Carlos’ argument in chapter 31.

How could you do this to me? You lied to and risked your daughter's life by bringing her to that woman.

No, the child was always watched. She wasn't at risk.

The night we slept together, you knew that Francisco was awake. You knew and you didn't tell me anything.

I tried to tell you, I swear. Lidia, that night, sweetheart - This year has been hard for me, too.

Are you the victim, Carlos? Are you the victim? Ever since you and I have been living together, I've always been honest with you.  I told you my feelings and what you and I were together. And what did I receive? Lies. I thought you and I were a team. I was mistaken.  

You are very right to be angry. Just tell me what I can do to fix things, please.  Lidia.  Lidia, you and Eva are my life. I love you.

Don't touch me! You don't know what love is, Carlos.  You don't know.

No, please.

I'm going to leave! You are not going to see me again! Never!

You are right about everything.

Now tell me you don’t see pretty much the same points and even the same lines, sometimes.  To me, it’s just so evident.  And obviously, the reactions about each of them in each context are exactly the same.

So my point is, despite how badly written this season was, I just can’t help myself, I see a pattern, I see them mirroring each other in everything they do with each other, and for the very same reasons.  Why they lie, and what they’re scared about.  And this is to me can’t be there for nothing. There must be a reason. Clearly, Carlos and Lidia still need to learn from their mistakes, but there’s a constant in all of this.  How much they love each other, so much that lead them to craziness sometimes and make them go to the extremes. And if we think about it, all their break ups happened when they already decided to get married. When they wanted to get married. Yes, they can even tell me, look, we’re doing this because these 2 are not meant to be and can’t be married to each other.  But why would they do it like this?  So intensely, so real, in such a complicated way, and with all the obstacles you could put between them?  Why would you show these 2 struggling so much to be together even with themselves for 4 seasons?  4 seasons are quite enough for a show.  And probably with just 2 seasons more.  And probably even shorter.  

Why shouldn’t I see this as a very hard path for two people who love each other so much and just want to be together?  Because that’s what I do.  If it wasn’t for that fire, they would get married.  And as my precious William Shakespeare once said The course of true love never did run smooth. True love always encounters difficulties.

[zippdementia]

Part 76 Alignment May Vary: Portents and Prophecies

Welcome to the continuing adventures of Alignment May Vary, our twice a month gaming group! We’ve been playing the same narrative for three years this month, with tons of twists and turns along the way. You can now hear the dramatized episodes at our website, Alignment May Vary.

In the last session, long time player character Aldric was killed by another player character, Imoaza, in an unseen betrayal out in the cold of space. Carrick, the third PC, is unaware of the betrayal as the group tries to figure out what to do about their current predicament.

Days pass. The situation on board the (still unnamed) Surveyor ship goes from desperate to grim. The power surge used to fight off the asteroid spiders has left the ship’s crystal depleted. What fuel they have is being used to keep life systems active, but this will fail within the week and the party is adrift in some unknown corner of space, surrounded only by asteroid dust and the wreckage of previous ships who have become stranded here.

The dreadful monotony, the slow wait for the end, is broken by one major event: a capsule adrift in the wreckage around them suddenly comes to life and starts sending out a signal. Retrieving it and bringing it on board, Carrick and Imoaza find it is a life capsule identical in most ways to the one they saw Carrick’s double in, back on Faerun. That tells them this is Surveyor technology, though it looks older even than that capsule. Carrick, accessing his Surveyor memories, figures out how to open the capsule, to reveal...

... nothing. The capsule is empty.

But it wasn’t empty very long ago. Its inhabitant has the ability to shift through space using the ethereal plane and now he appears beside the party, a hulking humanoid robot with red glowing eyes who raises his hand to stri-- or no, raises it in greeting to Carrick.

“Ah! Greetings. My name is Milosh. Are you the Surveyor?”

“No,” Carrick replies. “At least not the one you are probably looking for.”

“Ah! My visual senses tell me you are a 93% match for the Surveyor. Ah! I have come to serve the surveyor and stop the prophecy.”

Meet Milosh, our new PC (following Shando, Abenthy, Trakki, and Aldric... we’ve had quite a few player characters over the course of this epic).

Milosh, the Seeker of Prophecy

Milosh is a Warforged out of the recent Wayfinder���s Guide to Eberon. He is, visually, a little like a Mechanical Groot. He is, personality wise, a lot like the Paper Clip office assistant from 1997′s Microsoft Word. His backstory is that he was created by one of the Surveyors ages ago, centuries ago, to hunt down and stop a certain prophecy, a prophecy we’ve heard about before, involving the three figures: a devil, an angel, and a dragonborn. But while he was traveling to his destination, which would eventually become known as Faerun, his ship was caught in the Asteroid Spider’s webs and destroyed. He managed to escape and has been floating in stasis ever since. In the ages that have gone by, his memory banks have been damaged and now he cannot recall the full prophecy or even his full abilities. But he does know how to transform his right arm into a variety of weapons and tools and uses this to form a variety of special attacks, including a photon blast and a drill arm.

His personality is a little... simple. He says “Ah!” before every sentence, usually while holding up a finger, and runs off of very literal interpretations of his surroundings, relying on old programs in his working memory banks to get him through situations like combat or social etiquette.

This leads to some awkward (and funny) moments, such as when the party tells Fiona that Aldric has passed. She isn’t sure how to respond and also being a robot doesn’t do the best job of it...

“Where is Aldric? He’s dead?? Oh! I guess... Wow!”

... but she tries to give Milosh some advice, at least. Fiona tells him that bad news is best given with a smile and exuberance. And his response...

“Ah! I am unable to smile.”

The group also tells Milosh about the suspected traitor somewhere on the ship, the one who changed the bearings on the party in the first place, dropping them on Hell, and the one who erased the footage showing evidence of the deed. Milosh agrees to try and help them discover who the traitor is.

Good Moments of Interlude and Development

This session was mostly interlude, originally meant to be a quick connection to the next event, but the players got really into the roleplaying here and so the session became an elongated exploration of the personalities on the ship and their response to the various situations going on. Here are the best moments...

Milosh, with the help of Fiona, tries to access his old memories and also hack into the computer mainframes and learn more information about the traitor. What follows is a fun little hacking mini-game, where Milosh has to devote different levels of energy to different tasks, increasing his chances in some and decreasing it in others, then rolling to see what is successful. Ultimately, he fails to access any thing coherent from his memories, and he also fails to pull out any detailed information about the traitor, but it is still a good moment of personality development for him and gives us a chance to play around with some improvised mechanics. It also sets up the next good scene...

While Milosh plays around inside his head, Carrick and Imoaza decide the best clue they have for discovering the traitor is the ripped piece of leather. They go to talk to Krisp, who has leather gloves, and who the find in the darkened and otherwise empty bridge, staring out into space. This is a good roleplaying moment, as the three of them talk about Aldric. Imoaza keeps her cool and neither of them suspects that she actually murdered Aldric. Krisp is depressed, and asks Carrick if he ever just looked out at it all, at space. He is not his usual boisterous self and is instead contemplative, saying that this is never how a captain thinks they are going to end their days, but now he has captained TWO ships to his death. He also says that it wasn’t fair Aldric had to die, while Krisp had two chances to live his life. Carrick asks about the Horn of Green Company and the horn gets bequeathed to Carrick and renamed the Horn of Silent Sounding, for its power has fallen quiet and it makes no sound. This scene is interrupted by Milosh accidentally tying his memory visions into the bridge mainscreens, replacing the view of the stars with a crazy scene of Nazragul proclaiming his dominion over the world and flashes of an Aasimir and a Tiefling they don’t know. Carrick asks Krisp if he ever knew a Tiefling, and Krisp responds he did, then says it couldn’t possibly be the same one. The whole time, Imoaza is trying to look at Krisp’s gloves, but she ultimately sees no rip or tear.

Carrick meets up with Alyss, who says she wants to celebrate Aldric’s memory. She had built him a bike in secret and planned to teach him to ride, but now instead she gets high with Carrick on some drugs and takes him for a race around an empty cargo bay. The two sit for a long time, reminiscing and bonding until Carrick realizes she always wears a leather jacket. He asks for it, and she thinks he is coming on to her. Thus follows a pretty amazing scene, where Carrick is examining the jacket, then looks up to see Alyss is down to her bra. He is stunned, even more so when she leans in to kiss him. He tells her awkwardly he is a virgin and that he can’t do this, that he isn’t in a headspace to do it. Alyss is surprised and feels a little dumb herself for jumping to conclusions. She ends up telling him it doesn’t have to be awkward between them and not to worry. However, as she is getting dressed, Carrick notices that she has recently covered a hole in her jacket with a new patch. In honor of Aldric (it reads, “The Green Company”) but there is a lingering question now as to her innocence.

There is a funeral for Aldric, with some suitably bad speeches from Krisp. Among the lines he offers are this gem: “We will all be dead soon, but that’s longer than Aldric got.” Milosh accesses his memory banks and uses his vocal processor to play sad music in honor of Aldric. Aldric’s goblin kids are there, Alyss is there... heck, everyone is there except, noticeably, Otto (one of Krisp’s lieutenants). We’ll come back to this in a moment...

Maybe my favorite moment is when Milosh and Carrick hunt down Alyss, with the goal of figuring out if she was the traitor. Milosh asserts he has sensors in his hands that can detect traces of DNA on the leather scrap and, if he can gain physical contact with Alyss, he can see if the DNA is a match. Carrick agrees they should try it and so they find Alyss near her chambers in the mid section of the ship and Carrick introduces her to Milosh.

It’s such a great scene. There is some sexual tension left over between Alyss and Carrick and Alyss plays it up for fun, making Carrick as uncomfortable as possible. Then, knowing Milosh is such an outrageously naive personality makes all of his approaches to the situation hilarious. He boldly sticks out his hand and says (ah!) he understands that humans have a custom wherein they must grip hands when they meet and he would be delighted to try it. Bemused, Alyss takes his proffered hand and Carrick breathes a sigh of relief, thinking they now have their sample. Then Milosh says, “Ah! Now we must stay like this for two minutes.”

“It takes that long to get a sample?!” Carrick whispers in Milosh’s ear.

“Yes,” Milosh explains loudly. “This process takes five minutes to gather the appropriate data.”

Now thoroughly wierded out, Alyss extracts her hand from Milosh’s grip and he fails to get the sample. So then he tries another tact: he asks to see her jacket. Suspicious now, Alyss asks why and Carrick stutters and speaks for him, saying that he’s hoping Milosh can make a copy of it for him to wear. Milosh barely registers that this is an attempt at skullduggery and manages to keep silent until Alyss, after a brief hesitation, agrees to the request. “This your new wingman, Carrick?” she asks, making light of the situation. Carrick doesn’t get the joke. Alyss sighs and explains, “because he got my shirt off for you, again. Nevermind...”

Milosh examines the jacket while Carrick tries to distract Alyss, asking about Otto’s absence from the funeral. She says she hadn’t noticed, but then she hasn’t seen him around in a couple of days.

Suddenly Milosh says, “Ah! Surveyor, I have new information! The sample matches the jacket.”

Now armed with evidence, Carrick turns on Alyss and confronts her, demanding to know why she erased the footage of the ship’s sabotage. She cocks her head and says, as if it’s obvious, “Because I didn’t want you to see that it was me on the footage.”

And right on cue, hearing this, Milosh says, “Ah! Surveyor, I have new information!” As if that wasn’t painfully obvious.

Alyss proceeds to give an explanation for her actions, though not an apology. She says that in life, she was the leader of a powerful cult that worshipped Asmodeus and in death she sought to join his retinue in Hell, only to find he had disappeared during the Blood War. Obsessed with finding him, she wanted to bring to pass the prophecy that the Abyss would return if a devil ever left Hell. To do that, she needed outsiders to come with a ship. She secretly resurrected old technology, excavating it from the deserts around the Hell city, and eventually built herself a ship capable of at least leaving the atmosphere. She also fixed up tech that could detect when a ship would pass through Hell’s space. That is how she found and got onboard the Surveyor’s ship.

“I checked the original coordinates, you know,” she tells Carrick. “It was heading for a corner of space ruled by the Mind Flayers. That would have been a bad fate for you all, if you’d even survived to see it. By the time I boarded your ship, a critical failure had occurred in one of your engines. You had left warp space and were drifting slowly towards your destination on momentum alone. It would have been centuries before you reached it. In a way, I saved you by bringing you down to Hell.”

She further tells him that she has a piece of Asmodeus which she will use to find his body in the Abyss, once the way becomes clear. But she does not elaborate more and, not seeing her as an immediate threat, Carrick lets her go to contemplate what all this might mean.

Moving On

During the funeral Imoaza happens to spot Otto down a corridor and he is acting very strange, walking around stiffly and stopping to stare directly at her. Curious, she follows him down several corridors to a large room where she sees Otto addressing in a foreign language all of the Fiona and Bobs, the androids of the ship, gathered and floating cross legged in the air. Startled, she tries to flee, but suddenly is targeted by a psychic attack! Fending off visions of Aldric and Hecate (for those who don’t remember, that’s her dead daughter, who has been trying to kill her for a while), she runs down the ship’s corridors with Otto in pursuit. He catches up to her, but does not attack. Instead, he explains that he is not Otto, but is simply borrowing Otto’s body to be able to observe the crew and see if they can help his people.

It is soon revealed that Otto has been taken over by a Githzerai psychic, whose myriad companions have also taken over the systems of the Fiona’s and Bobs and who now proceed to hold the players hostage... well, sort of. In a mutually beneficial way.

Essentially, it turns out the players have invaded, by accident (or at least they think it’s by accident), a sector of space that is being fought over by the Githyanki and the Githzerai. The Githyanki have had the upper hand for many years and have captured an ancient Stardock carved out of an asteroid deep in the asteroid field and have essentially barred all ways in. The Githzerai “bored” a new way through the space between space, but their path was discovered recently and retaken by the Githyanki. In this same battle, the leader of the Githzerai lost his son, Ezria, to the Githyanki and Ezria is now being held captive on Stardock. The Githzerai cannot go after him because the Githyanki are scanning for ‘zerai brain patterns and would detect them immediately.

What the ‘zerai want the players to do, therefore, is to send a team of three humanoids into this space-between-space, and from there have them enter and infiltrate Stardock, rescue Ezria, and return. If they succeed in saving their kin, the ‘zerai will help them by using their prodigious powers to recharge their crystal with enough energy to get them to Faerun. This long space journey is nearing its end!

The players agree to this (their only other option, honestly, is to float out here until they become space dust). They are the perfect candidates, besides: a warforged, a yuan-ti, and a half elf with the brain signature of a Surveyor are unusual enough that they will definitely slip under the Githyanki radar.

And so the Githzerai open a portal to the space between worlds and the players teleport through... though not before Immerstal takes Carrick aside and warns him that Imoaza now carries the Rod of Storms and that could be a very dangerous thing for the universe, if she fails to control its power. Or chooses to abuse it.

And one last thing...

Alyss sat crosslegged on the floor of the ventilation chamber, the altar to Asmodeus before her. Her hands were clenched tightly, her nails drawing blood from her palms as she concentrated. With a gasp, she made the connection and opened her eyes as in front of her a portal appeared.

“Took long enough.” The taunting voice of Puck broke her concentration and she turned to him with a snarl.

“It wasn’t easy to tap into the Gith’s power. And it won’t stay open for long.”

The little impish devil hovered in the air lazily, raising a red bushy eyebrow at her. “Are you sure you are ready for this? The abyss is not a place for those who are not fully sure of who they are.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What did you tell Carrick about your past? Did you tell him the truth?”

“What I told him doesn’t matter. I know who I am. But more importantly, I know my purpose.” She grunted and rose to her feet. “Coming?”