#it's not about being stupid or weak. trying to survive in certain patterns gets deeply ingrained QUICK

[c0rpseductor]

i stopped reading but one more complaint and then i go have fun.

the guy was asserting that multiple encounters with violence make you better at handling it, but that the exception was a type of "victim personality" who goes from abusive relationship to abusive relationship or is just victimized multiple times (no clue how THAT'S an aspect of personality, but okay).

the thing is i think the process of acclimation he's talking about is similar in someone who goes from abuser to abuser as it is in someone who goes from violent encounter to violent encounter. i don't disagree that, like, when you're going into this stuff with a sense of purpose and agency that makes a big difference in the way you move through it, but it's like, in both cases you essentially accept sometimes very extreme violence as a daily norm that you just have to put up with, and find ways to do damage control about the toll that INEVITABLY takes on your mind and body. the particulars of those two situations are very different ofc but it's still like, you gradually acclimate yourself (or are forced to acclimate yourself) to a normal most other people would not find acceptable. and SHOULD not.

i don't like the way he seems to think victims/survivors are these fragile, ridiculous people even if he gives lip service to their Courage or whatever. it's one of those things where i'm like, okay, if it's so easy then you take all that punishment with no viable options for fighting back meaningfully, and then get back to me. people genuinely don't appreciate how even if you don't or can't fight back you have to be massively tough to put up with so much shit. it's not Cool and Macho though so yknow whatever