#it's mental and it's a slow process of learning how to control those thoughts

[theskeletoninthegarden]

Finding out that Matthew Mercer has body dysmorphia and reacts to it in the same way that I do (avoiding mirrors, not going shirtless, choosing a specific style of clothing that tricks you into being comfortable with your body) is absolutely mind blowing.

[kawluv]

What should you learn from your Sun's house? [1-12] Для ру.астро пабликов: указывайте мой тгк @cherrishyoutarot при использовании поста.

Sun in the 1st house: You have to learn how to work in a team. Individualism and independence are wonderful, but do not forget that you are a part of society and interaction with people is inevitable. You need to learn how to listen and hear those around you. Don't resist working in pairs or in a team, it's okay to ask someone for help.

Sun in the 2nd house: You need to learn not to get hung up on finances, to switch attention from the material aspect of life to the lively emotional aspect. Be generous, share resources (but in moderation). Look deep down, not at the surface.

Sun in the 3rd house: The lesson here is that you do not carry information through yourself lightly, but seriously comprehend it and accept it. You should learn to slow down, slow down your mental processes and be more in the moment. When you are in your head a lot and thoughts are constantly spinning thoughtlessly in your head, you need to learn how to stop it and be in the moment.

Sun in the 4th house: People in this position may have a strong attachment to the family, so strong that it can stop their own development. Maybe it's not just a tie to the family, but specifically to comfort and safety. You need to learn not to be afraid to leave your comfort zone, not to get attached to your family so much that you forget about your own growth. Trust the world, the comfort zone may be wider than it is now, the main thing is to go beyond it and get used to a wider range of new things.

Sun in the 5th house: You need to learn how to express your creativity to other people, inspire them and motivate them. Appreciate not only yourself, but also those around you, whether they are friends or like-minded people. Be generous with the people around you and don't judge people for their personalities.

Sun in the 6th house: It may be important for the Sun in the 6th house to let go of control, to understand that people, just like you, are not perfect and this is normal. You need to learn to relax, not to take responsibility for something that is not your problem. Be more patient with other people, do not condemn their flaws and inconsistency with your standards. It's okay to make mistakes.

Sun in the 7th house: As the owner of this placement too, I realized an important thing for myself. You and I need to learn not to lose ourselves in relationships with other people. Attachment is not bad, but you should not focus on your partner / friend and put them at the center of your life. Learn to be alone, do not be afraid of loneliness, but accept it. Enjoy the time spent alone with yourself when you can take care of yourself or just relax. Find your favorite business, hobby and put yourself and your interests at the center of your life.

Sun in the 8th house: You need to take life changes easier. Rethink the situations in your head less, instead accept and let them go. Don't get hung up on getting revenge on someone, just let them go. Letting go and accepting is the way to harmony within. With them comes ease in life. Forgive other people and yourself.

Sun in the 9th house: In this house, the lesson will be tied to being in the state of a "student", not a "teacher". You should accept that you may not know everything in the world and your opinion may also be wrong and that's okay. Learn to listen more, accept more, absorb more. Do not teach people, do not think that you know how it will be better for another person. This is not your responsibility. People have different opinions, worldviews, and your truth may not be the truth for others. Don't impose your point of view.

Sun in the 10th house: Your lesson is not to give yourself completely to work, but to devote time to family, friends, and your hobbies. Learn to relax, remember about regular quality rest. Remember that you don't have to meet someone's expectations and exhaust yourself in order to be valued and loved. Patience and perseverance, of course, surmount every difficulty, but have you tried a long and high-quality sleep? Sun in the 11th house: It is necessary for you to learn to be flexible in communicating with people, to be able to share your feelings, and not to close yourself off from them. Accept that it is possible that you will not always do what you want and will not always be as individual as you would like. We live in a society, we are all connected and similar to each other.

Sun in the 12th house: Dear 12-housers, I understand that it can be hard for you to be down to earth, but you need to do it. Do not drown in your mind, get out of your stagnation and ascetism. Take a look at the world, communicate more with people, trust people. Don't miss the chance to have more joyful moments and experiences! Look beyond the usual, look wider.

[meichenxi]

Language learning: slow learning versus toxic productivity

Or: the process in crisis

Five years ago, all of the productivity advice I read (and gave out) as a successful self-learner of many different languages had one basic premise: that I was not doing enough, and that I could always be doing more.

Several burnouts later, running headlong from one mental illness into another, I'd like to invite you to entertain the exact opposite idea: there is a limit to what you can do. I have run face-first into mine on multiple occasions, and burnt out. At many points I've stopped learning the language at all. Most importantly, I've learnt to be distrustful of the very premise that all of the so-called productivity or optimisation advice is based on.

More is not always more.

Listen to a podcast in the target language whilst you exercise. Exercise to give yourself more energy to learn your target language. Talk to yourself in the shower in your target language. Do Anki whilst eating breakfast. Listen to Glossika whilst walking to work. Change your phone settings to your target language. Bullet journal. Manage your time. Make friends in your target language. Control your time. Write a diary. There's always enough time. These are all things I have done myself and recommended others do, to increase exposure to the language, to increase productivity.

Productivity? What productivity? What, exactly, is it that we are producing? I am producing sentences and words but - for who? Who is listening? Nobody's here, in my room, at 7am on a Sunday. If productivity were just speaking or writing, I'd be productive in my native language too, by virtue of speaking out loud. Or conversely, in language learning circles, should we measure it in terms of input? How many hours did you spend listening to Chinese yesterday? What about today? Is there anything you do in your life, in your daily life, that you could optimise? You're wasting time. There's time here, for those that want it. If you want to get ahead, to be successful, to be a good language learner, you have to know how to use that time. Go online, and debate over which tools are the best; watch your videos. What exactly is it that is being produced?

Productivity is a measuring tool for concrete output: the productivity of a field means how much crop it can yield per harvest. The productivity of a factory is how many mobile phone chargers it can bring to market per year. There are direct and measurable ways to increase this sort of productivity. But what is productivity when it comes to knowledge work? Cal Newport's work, The Minimalists, Essentialism: they all run into the same problem, which is that nobody seems to know what 'productivity' for knowledge workers means at all. You can look at a factory line and see which parts need greasing up, figuratively or literally: it is very difficult, on the other hand, to look at the work of a self-contained writer and tell her where she is going 'wrong'. (And by 'wrong', I mean - slow.) And language learning is an even more particular subset of that particular subset of work.

You could judge a novelists' productivity two ways: by the 'busyness' of her daily writing routine, or the amount of novels she produces. But what exactly is being produced when we learn a language? What is the end product?

In some ways, language learning as a hobby is even more playful than traditionally thought of arts and crafts. (By 'play' I mean something which is done for its own sake, and which is pleasurable, and which may yield next to no monetary reward.) We might think of the poet as sitting on a tree and dangling his feet in the river, a vision of artful indolence, but at the end of the day there is output - a poem. A knitter has a jumper. A potter has a pot. But language learning doesn't follow this [work] + [time] = [tangible output] structure. We can't even use the second metric of 'productivity' to measure it at all. Something is being done, of course - I can learn to speak Greek, and speak it markedly better after two months than one - but my point is you can't look at a day's work and say, this is exactly how much I learnt. Learning is not memorisation in the short term - it's receiving input, and practicing how to wield and use a structure. It doesn't happen over the course of a ten-minute podcast.

Learning happens - encoding happens - when the brain is doing other things. In other words, much like every creative process, you need downtime. You need rest, and sleep, and fun, and brightness and joy in your life. You might 'remember' a bunch of words on Anki, but you need to sleep before you can review them again: that's the whole point.

There is a much wider problem here, a culture of goals and optimising your life and glowing up, and to be honest, I find it disturbing. I think that for a very long time my language learning metrics were a stand-in, a relic, for the kinds of unhealthy and obsessively perfectionist thinking that gave me an eating disorder. How many of us truly believe - genuinely, with every inch of our heart - that we are better people if we 'better' ourselves? Learn more. Exercise more. Study more. How do you feel about yourself at the end of a day, exhausted, because you've completed day 75/100? Do you feel better about yourself because you've achieved? I'm guessing that you do.

For many people - including for myself - this wider culture has spilled over into their hobbies. Hobbies like language learning in particular are a target for this because they are so easily quantifiable - and we are encouraged, if we want to succeed, to quantify them. How else will we know how to improve?

Over the last few years, after burning out, after living off grid and without wifi and doing extreme minimalism and a lot of other lifestyle experiments to try and understand why modern life is so fucking hard, it's become clear that most systems of 'productivity' measure 'optimisation' by getting the most done in a day, but they don't stop to question whether you should be doing those things at all.

They don't stop to ask: what matters? They don't stop to ask: why am I trying to write a novel, finish my dissertation, pursue a romantic relationship, get healthy, learn ice-skating, learn to cook, look after my aging parents, and learn guitar at the same time? They don't ask: how do I prioritise, and where do I find silence? They ask: how do I cram more time in the day? They don't ask: how do I slow time down? They don't ask: how can I know what matters, if I never give myself space to think?

In other words: 'productivity' in language learning is measured by 'busy-work', by how much you can see from the surface.

You can't measure how well the learning is going, exactly, but you can measure how many hours a day you show up and grind. Whether or not that struggle is the best use of your time, or whether you're spending the time on things that will truly bring you value and quality, is a different question altogether.

And it's not one most 'productivity culture' will ever ask.

There will be things in your language learning journey that, to borrow from self-help terminology, no longer serve you. Habits and relics and resources and mindsets that worked for you once, or no longer did. Those books that are too advanced that you feel like you 'should' be able to read. That textbook that's been sitting beside your bed for a year. That habit of scrolling social media in your target language that was helpful when you were at a more intermediate level, but does little for you now that you're advanced.

Take stock of these. Simplify. Do less, but do it better. Productivity culture never stops to ask: what can I do without? It always asks, instead: how can I do more? But maybe - just maybe - the way to do more is to focus on fewer things, but do them well.

Multi-tasking isn't multi-tasking, but switching quickly between different focuses of attention. The average American owns 300,000 things, and watches television for 4-5 hours a day. On average, if you are distracted, it takes you 20 minutes to reach the same level of deep focus: but the average American office worker opens an email within six seconds of receiving it. Are you any better with your phone? How much time do you spend there? If you meditate, that's wonderful, but do you have any time to let yourself think? To walk and to understand how to feel? I don't want to sound like a boomer, but: can you name the birds? Do you live in a place, not just a room?

Stop trying to be 'productive'. Do less. Do it well.

I am now facing a wall in my learning of Chinese, and I'm still not sure how to get around it. The reason for this is because so much of the advice I gave others around language learning, and so much of the advice I found online, is focused on this sort of optimisation. But I no longer want to be listening to something, to be watching something, every second of every day. I have a partner to love and a house to appreciate and I want to spend time, humming and pleasant, alone with my thoughts, and it's summer, dear diary, and I don't want to stay indoors. Routines can keep you afloat, but they can also drown you. Do something different. Do something new. Do something that is not productive, that produces nothing, idle away, walk to work without music and perhaps when you sit down to your language learning that evening, you'll be filled with a renewed vigour and love for it. Do it because you love it, not because you scheduled it in your calendar.

A lesson, related, from my martial arts teacher. He said:

If you are tired, do not train. If you do not train, rest. 'Rest' does not mean go on your phone.

The same principle applies here. If you are tired of learning, which you may well be, rest. Not going on your phone, not watching Netflix. I mean taking a walk and sitting under the tree and looking at the patterning of the sky. I mean lying with your dog and absently scratching his tummy. If you're tired, and you have the luxury to stop - stop. Let yourself be tired. Don't drink caffeine. Sleep.

Last year, I was able to write 340,000 words of fiction because I focused on one thing: writing my book. Apart from things that I literally needed to do to survive and maintain my health and relationships around me, I didn't set a single other to-do. My daily list looked like: write for three hours. Not a word limit. Not exercise, though I ended up doing that, not learning a language. I imagine that if I had tried to focus on Chinese at the same time that I wouldn't have achieved anywhere near half the result. I still learnt Chinese, a very decent amount - I went to China and Taiwan for three months in total! - but I did it because I wanted to, of a whim, on a Sunday, something fun. It wasn't a must, or anything I was forcing myself to do. Many days I didn't do any Chinese at all. It was so immensely freeing to be able to think, at 11am: I'm finished for today. Even when I was at work, because I knew I was just there to pay the rent, I felt serene. Stressed on a day-to-day level, certainly, because all work is stressful, but - there wasn't any striving. I just did the best I could. And that was enough.

I am writing this, now, as I come out of my first ever information-overload burnout. I've burnt out, but I've never experienced one of these before: even looking at a book, at a phone, physically hurt my eyes. I couldn't bear to listen to people speak and would lock myself away in my room. I physically felt I could not talk, and had to take extensive time off work. Even looking at a pen and a blank page was too much; listening to podcasts was too much; reading the instructions for dinner was too much too. The only way I could heal was by doing absolutely nothing at all. That period shocked me deeply, because it showed me how absolutely dependent I was on having some input of information all of the time. No wonder I was tired.

I know, now, that there are lots of movements built around this same idea, by frustrated learners all over the world: the growing realisation that metrics and Excel and polylogger and tracking tracking tracking can't be the only way to learn. That a list of the number of books you've read in one year is hardly indicative of how well you understood those books, and what you learned from them. You've read 20 books this year already - good job. When do you think about them? What time do you spend on reflection? Why did you choose those books? Which chapters, and which characters, hit you the hardest? Why?

Minimalism, deep work, 'monk mode', essentialism, every writer's dream to run away and write in a cabin in the woods, slow learning, Buddhism, Stoicism, Marie Kondo-ism, the art of less, project 333, my no-buy-year, slow fashion, slow food, slow travel:

What all of these philosophies have in common is the idea that doing things deliberately ('mindfully') means 1) doing things slowly, 2) doing things well, and 3) doing things one at a time.

I am now at a place in my life where I understand the value of time alone with my thoughts. I don't want to listen to podcasts every minute of the waking day, because I need time to think about them. I need time to let the ideas for my novel grow in the dark. Nothing can be heard in noise; so make space for silence. I am a member of the real, living, breathing world, and that means I cannot devote 8 hours a day to Chinese television shows like I could when I was 20. I have to call my father. I have to do the dishes. I want to flex my creative muscles in other ways. Alternatively - I no longer believe that my worth is tied up inherently with how well I do my hobbies.

You're just some guy. There's freedom in that. You, my friend - you suck <3

Let yourself be bad. Let yourself be mediocre. Let yourself 'slide backwards' or regress, because all that means is that you're putting focus somewhere else. It'll come back. It always does.

I'm no longer comfortable, therefore, with the way that the language learning community tackles productivity. Please don't misunderstand; a lot of us have time spare that we could use to do things 'better' for us. I know. But I just believe now that getting rid of things, like the time you spend on your phone, is going to be more helpful in the long run than trying to force yourself into some gruelling, achievement-centric regime that collapses from within after two months of struggle and self-flagellation.

The other realisation I have had is just how much happier I am spending more time being alive, really alive, and less time in front of a screen. For a language like German or Gaelic that's much easier, because you can study with books, but with Chinese you always have to study to some extent with audios, flashcards, computers. Especially if - like me - you can read novels without a dictionary, but cannot handwrite even your Chinese name. So where next?

I don't have any answers. I'm not sure how to pair the two things together, to be honest, because almost all of my language learning has traditionally made use of technology. It's all been goal-orientated, systems-orientated, and despite the fact that I've failed at using these systems every day for years, despite the fact that Anki has NEVER worked for me, despite the fact that I have spent hundreds if not thousands of pounds on courses here, there, a wealth of overwhelm and five thousand words saved on Pleco, did I read that right? Five thousand. No wonder I'm stressed.

Regardless of happiness, it's much easier to achieve a state of deep focus and work when you're not online. After my period of information burnout, I feel actual physical pain from the weight of choices online. It's exhausting. I'm watching a Chinese show, but I want to go on tumblr. I'm on tumblr, but I feel guilty for not watching the Chinese show. I'm constantly torn between doing this and that, never fully committing to anything, seeing a post by Lindie Botes and thinking, damn, she's good. I should be better. But I don't want to compare myself to her. Do you know what? She is good. I admire her immensely. But I don't want to judge my self-worth by some imagined scale of productivity anymore - and, the more time passes, the more I'm not sure what 'productivity' in the context of language learning even means.

Try slow, focused, deep learning. You might just find it works.

There's something refreshing, almost counter-cultural, anti-capitalist, anti-consumerist, anti-rat-race, about this thought. Slow learning. I think there's an answer here, somewhere. It's a problem I've been dancing around for a while; and do you remember how you learnt your first foreign language? For me, it was on the floor, absolutely absorbed in German comic books, flicking through the dictionary furiously and scribbling things down in a notebook. I only had one book, and one dictionary, and one grammar book. I want to go back to that sort of simplicity. There was joy in that.

One again: I don't have any answers. I don't know exactly what direction this blog is going to go in, as I wrestle with these sorts of meta-problems. I'd love to hear your thoughts. And for now, if there's one thing I'd like you to take away from this long and frankly absurdly rambling post (thank you for bearing with me!) it's an alternative answer for the question I get so often, about what you can do to learn the language when you're tired, because:

Yes, you could watch reality TV shows in Chinese, or you could give yourself permission to be human. You could rest.

Thanks guys. Meichenxi out <3

[dairy-farmer]

Was struck by brilliance and wanted to shaaare~ Is dubiouly consenting BruTim (and possibly DickTim in the bonus round) villian tech play! (Because clear and open conversations? In THIS household?)

Bruce ABSOLUTELY knows how the Madhatter's mind control hat and receivers work? He HAS to have a copy of that tech in order to fight him! He's also a little control freak who developed a Need To Be Obeyed since NOT listening to him played a part in his baby boy, his Jason, DYING.

He wears a cowl. Robin wears a mask. He could..... he could just... slip in that tech. A receiver into Robin's mask. Maybe a few other parts of his uniform to be SURE. And? Who REALLY looks at every individual part of the cowl tech? He... he doesn't have to turn it ON, he tells himself, just HAVE it. Available. In case.

But Timmy's so reckless and brave. And Bruce has those Bad Days. The temptation, once THERE...

It's... it's just to make Tim get some badly need sleep. See, nothing bad! He's being a good mentor. Then it's to hold still under the effects of Fear gas, so he can get him the antidote without Time hurting himself or others. Again, it's better this way, now he won't remember the effects of the gas. But then? After one of those awful patrols that suck his will to live? He just...

He doesn't have it in him to lower his emotional walls anymore. Everything hurts, he feels TIRED and cold, but he just... he just can't ASK for a hug the way he once could. Can't call over Jason(dead, all his fault) or Dick(hates him, still his fault) to cuddle and remind himself WHY he's doing all this. But out of the corner of his eye? Tim in those colors. Slow and sore but working his way towards the showers to strip and warm up.

In the Robin uniform. Wearing his mask. "Robin, come here."

And then? He... he has a warm lap of son to wrap his arms around again. Just this once, he lies to himself. It would be an abuse of the power.

But. But! He can't shake it. He can... he can TAKE CARE OF HIS BOY AGAIN. And no one will know. Not even Tim. He doesn't even have to let go of his control of the situation when being vulnerable emotionally. And he... he shouldn't be doing this.

But he does. Just on bad days, at first. Helps his Robin clean up from patrol, bandages his wounds and washes him down, untangles his hair and picks out his clothes. Changes his mask for the sweatband or choker with a receiver in it. Holds him close and listens to him breathe, safe and warm. His... his baby boy.

But it starts to spread. To less bad days. And Bruce can feel himself getting obsessed. Starting to go from Not to Idle to ACTIVELY planning what clothes and brushs and soaps and- ...all the ways he'll Take Care Off Tim.

And NONE of them are related to Robin anymore.

Some of the thoughts even... no, no! THAT would be too far. But... but he should... should PROBABLY know. Yes. Just in case the cowl was ever compromised. That's all. It's for safety. And... and Health! The positive chemical releases.

So the next time? As Tim is made all ready for his shower? With a speeding heart and dry mouth, Bruce commands him to orgasm. He does. Just like that. It doesn't process. Again, he orders, again, again. Tim's poor body having no choices but to follow commands, gushing and twitching, until his legs give out and snap Bruce out of his trance.

It feels IMPOSSIBLE that Tim doesn't remember that. But of course, he doesn't. He obviously suspects, he's brilliant and Bat trained... but? On the other hand? Look how his "post patrol haze" has helped Bruce mentally and emotionally. He chooses to notice nothing. For Bruce.

And Bruce? Can NEVER unknow what he has learned. Tim looked so.. so WRECKED. His boy had NEEDED him EVEN MORE afterword. Couldn't move at all. But he also slept so deep, woke so refreshed. It was good for him! Right? Bruce didn't do something terrible, didnt give in to his base desires, just... just discovered a different NEED his boy has! That's all.

And he's a Good Dad. He's gonna take care of his boy. Just ordering him around? That's cold and impersonal. And every young lad loves toys! He's so small, so tight, hurting him would be FAR to easy. So after patrol plugs and dildos to slowly stretch him out, proper HUMAN hands and exciting vibrators to tease his little clit, Popsicles then bigger n bigger toys to sooth his oral fixation.

Until Bruce can take care of him. Properly. Over and over until Bruce himself is tired and his baby boy is incoherent, then get him cleaned up all perfect and warm and nice. Off to bed.

Tim can't POSSIBLY miss the new sorts of soreness. Waking up feeling like his muscles have been cooked and his brain is still a bit mush. But Bruce wants to LIVE again. More then that...he's almost? Almost DOTING. Tim decides..... that patrol sure was tough, huh bruce? He's so sore!

Bonus round! Then? Bruce is lost in time. Dick takes the cowl. He finds the tech. Things between him and Tim have been escalating and escalating. Dick was GOING to give Damian the Robin suit... but? He... He doesn't MEAN to use it. Was gonna take it out! But he hadn't gotten around to yet! There is so much to do! Too much!

Then he and Timmy were arguing and he just... ordered him to stop. He NEEDED Timmy to stop. He already felt like he was drowning, he just... he just needed his little brothers support. Not more yelling. And suddenly it DID. Tim stopped. A-And Dick knew he should be HORRIFIED. Should scramble to release him IMMEDIATELY.

But... but he could really use a hug. He gets one.

And he's needy. He's weak. Tim has been so Angry and Upset and lashing out... and he just? Let... Let Dick take care of you, okay timmers? Tim can be Robin! Stay Robin. They'll figure out Damian together.

And Tim never gets his road trip, but he has enough time once mornings come and he can barely move, to remember he's Fuckin Loaded and can HIRER MERCENARIES who don't CARE if he is or isn't "crazy". And Deathstroke does not enjoy the League of spiders but that's a him problem. Bruce is back!

Nightwing's mask gets a transmitter upgrade like the cowl. 💖

!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the mind control!!! the dubious consent of it all!!! the way that bruce rationalizes it to himself!!!!!

when he starts doing, he doesn't really think about how "wrong" it is. because bruce isn't planning on using it. he's really not. he just....he can't sleep without thinking of tim deviating from the plan and...getting killed.

neither dick nor jason had been obedient robins who followed bruce's everyword, and in some cases they were right to disobey him. but...after jason.

bruce couldn't- he just couldn't let that happen to tim. tim is a smart child, a smart robin. pragmatic, logical, he thinks ahead, he thinks of the consequences of his actions in a way that even some capes bruce has worked with or years don't. tim is responsible and rational and reasonable and a lot of the time bruce doesn't have to worry about him because tim does a good job.

but...sometimes...he just doesn't listen. never out in the field when there are lives at stake but...in the cave and in private. tim resists and questions and tries to get bruce to go against what he's already decided and...

bruce just needs the assurance. the guarantee. that if he needed it- if he really needed it then tim would obey him. if they're trapped under rubble and only one can get out. bruce knows tim's heart and know that tim would sooner die with him rather than abandon him and bruce...he can't be responsible for his death like that.

sometimes tim's loyalty is a curse.

bruce has always had access to the technology of his rogues. the chemical composition of fear gas, the spores of poison ivy's plants, madhatters cognitive disruption technology.

bruce knows all of them inside and out. he could recreate them in his sleep.

it takes him barely a week to incorporate the tech. all of tim's gear needs to remain in the cave until...until bruce can trust him more. so its not hard to get access to his mask and outfit it with the necessary receivers that will release pulses and waves to make tim obey him.

bruce isn't going to use it. he's not. using hatter's tech is like weaponizing joker's gas it's just....not right.

but bruce isn't going to use it. he's just tricking his brain into settling down. he COULD use it, the option is there. the option to hijack tim's brain and give bruce complete control over him and his body. it should horrify bruce that he's doing it but...it just makes him feel safe and reassured.

that if he were ever pushed to the point of desperation if the two were ever cornered like rats, if tim was about to do something that would get him killled- that bruce could override it. he could control fate and freewill just long enough to ensure his robin would get out alive.

bruce thinks about it more times than he'd like.

he thinks about tim wearing the mask bruce personally designed to connect to his cowl. there's hardly a day that passes where bruce doesn't think about it at least once. he hasn't told anyone what he's done and he hasn't written down or documented it either.

bruce can't imagine it would go over well if he told anyone. they'd make him stop and get rid of it and that would defeat the purpose.

every time bruce got that sinking feeling in his gut he could just remind himself that tim would obey his every word if he wanted him to.

bruce imagines that in some people's hands that kind of power would make them drunk with the rush of it. but for bruce is just makes him feel scared.

after awhile it stops working. the assurance he tells himself, the mantra he repeats to himself. sure he believes the technology would work- but how could he know for sure without testing it?

the thought keeps creeping into his head and at soon its all bruce thinks about. being in a desperate situation- reaching for his trump card and it...not working.

soon knowledge of what he's done is a curse, he cant stop wondering or imagining and he just...he needs to check. he just has to make sure...but turning it on without having a good reason is just...

bruce is looking for a reason. that's why he ends up using it. he's searching for a reason to use it and finally lands on the fact that tim's sleep schedule has been awry due to a case interfering with tim's studying for midterms. tim is usually ery good at maintaining himself. his health, his diet, his hygiene, his sleep schedule. but he's been having a harder time of it lately and really...bruce is doing him a favor. he won't even remember it. madhatter's tech blocks out memories or the brains ability to recall what was done or experienced while active.

bruce feels his heart beating a mile a minute as he asks tim to wait a moment while he begins drowsily pulling off parts of his uniform.

tim blinks at him from behind his mask and the next moment bruce is by his side and catching him as he falls asleep. tim is limp like a doll that's had its string cut, his heads flops around, resting in the crook of bruce's arms. bruce can see the slow steady rise of tim's chest and hear the slight whistling sound that comes out of his nose when he breathes out.

tim is light. practically a feather as bruce slides his hands under tim's knees and stands up.

tim occasionally naps in the cave. when patrol is particularly hard, he'll sleep anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour before fully undressing and heading home.

but by that time the sweat, dirt, oil, and general discharge from gotham will have dried and gotten tacky...

bruce knows undressing tim while he's asleep is a step too far and he's already crossed enough lines for the day. so bruce lays tim out on the gurney he always falls asleep on. rather than only giving him a few minutes of sleep bruce lets tim catch up on the sleep he's missed out on in the last week. tim was still, after all an adolescent. sleep was very important for his physical and mental well-being.

nine hours later bruce uses his cowl to wake tim up.

tim stretches, lets out a loud yawn and flops bonelessly in satisfaction when he hears a few 'pops' from his stretching.

he's content. loose-limbed and well-rested. until he realizes he slept in the cave all night and missed his homeroom and first period class.

he panics and bruce assures him its alright and that he'd already informed the school tim would be attending the second half of the school day after lunch.

it's good. bruce did a good thing. tim doesn't nod off in class like he'd been doing. he doesn't blink to keep his eyes open and he doesn't immediatly collapse once they've returned to the cave.

bruce has gotten confirmation the tech is effective and works but...he's doing a good thing by making tim sleep. he's helping. bruce would appreciate it if he could overwrite his own nightmares and loud thoughts in order to allow him some hours of quiet, peaceful sleep.

tim is better for it. he's healthier, more rested, not as tired. it's good. bruce helping tim was why he'd installed that little adjustment to tim's mask in the first place.

so...bruce keeps doing it. not all the time! just when tim's having a harder time than usual. bruce swears to himself that's the only reason he's doing it. that he won't use it for any other reason.

but then...scarecrow gets one over on them. he fools them and tim ends up paying the price.

and bruce knows how ugly it can get. tim's already suffered one concussion from fear gas. he'd slammed the back of his head on the concrete over and over and over again in some desperate, animalistic attempt to knock himself out to stop whatever he was seeing. the concussion had him out of the field for two weeks.

all bruce can think about it stumbling across that sight. tim twitching and screaming and just bashing his head over and over until the skin broke...

head wounds always bled worse than they were. but bruce had nightmares of that day. of cupping the back of tim's head and trying desperately to wrangle him to sedate him enough for transport. the blood had worked under his glove and bruce had just stared at his blood-stained hand when he was cleaning off and tim was quietly asleep in a nearby gurney. the job was never easy.

so when it happens again all bruce thinks about is stopping tim before he can hurt himself again. bruce has enough nightmares to haunt him for the rest of his life.

tim falls quiet and obedient, he allows bruce to inject him with the serum and a light sedative.

he'll be better in the morning. he'll awake without a horrendous headache and bruce won't have to torture himself with the sight of tim clutching the wall for stability as he made his way around the manor while concussed.

it's for the best.

tim is able to be returned to the manor without major injury and in the morning he's okay and safe. and for the first time in a while bruce goes to sleep relieved and isn't taunted with his mistakes in his dreams.

bruce doesn't use it again for a while. occasionally when tim's dark circles get too noticeable bruce will use it to get tim to sleep a little longer.

it's fine. bruce is fine. the guilt he'd felt initially has faded because even though he used it, it had been for a good cause. for tim's own good. bruce protected his robin.

but then bruce wakes up one day and just knows it will be one of THOSE days.

it takes bruce nearly an hour to get up. he forces himself to do everything and every little thing nearly makes him snap with anger or breakdown in tears. he hasn't had one of these days in a while and he's not quite sure how to stop them. sometimes he just wakes up and everything is just...bad.

but bruce is an adult and he has a job and a duty. he can't just....shut himself away for weeks until the bad feeling goes away.

but patrol doesn't make it any easier. tim is right there and bruce knows he'll get worried if he picks up on deviations.

so bruce returns to the cave pent up, exhausted, and...twitchy.

when he'd get like this dick and jason would always be there, they'd feel bruce's slow and hesitant approach and feel as he pulled them to him to a hug he was holding back from becoming needy. and they'd...understand. they knew that something was wrong with bruce and they'd crawl into his lap, their small bodies going lax and warming bruce as he held them closer, his most precious things in his arms.

but not anymore. dick pretended like he didn't exist and jason was gone.

and that made it worse. made it harder to get through the day.

by the time patrol ends bruce is barely keeping it together. he keeps clenching his fists, palms empty yet desperately yearing for something and...

tim is in a corner of the cave making a bit of noise as he pulls off all the pieces of his armor. He's in just the body suit with a towel slung over his shoulder and heading in the direction of the showers when, before bruce can think through it, he calls out.

bruce's fingers are on the switch in his cowl and tim is frozen in place before stiffly marching over to bruce at his command. bruce is shaking when tim's warm little body slides into his lap.

bruce has an arm around his waist in a second and another hand cupping the back of tim's head tenderly as he pushes tim's soft cheek against his chest and tucked that head under his chin. it take awhile for bruce to steady himself. he rocks himself and tim, letting the warmth of another person seep into his body as his hands memorize the slope of tim's sides and waist as he hugs him close like a child does a teddy bear in a storm.

bruce...will admit that maybe he had used the technology for a...selfish reason. but it helps him ground himself and it helps him when he's burying his nose into tim's soft hair.

the problem isn't that bruce starts indulging himself more often, commanding tim to come to him so he can hold and stroke him. the problem is that bruce gets...comfortable.

dick and jason had both squirmed and maneuvered to get comfortable but with tim it's like he's a lifeless doll and he moves any way that bruce allows him. and bruce gets...possessive. touching tim, settling his hands on the back of his neck, his waist, his thighs...

bruce's fingers will stroke tim's soft strands then trail down to his neck, cheek, and lips until bruce was staring at tim's pink mouth wondering how lips could be so plush and so pink...

bruce knows that his touches start toeing the line of...inappropriate because there's more than one kind of loneliness in his chest and bruce can't ignore that he hasn't felt or touched another person in so long so his hand drifts to that little patch between tim's legs and just...feels the heat on his palm. he doesn't squeeze and he doesn't grope he just...lets his hands and fingers rest and lightly press on the area to satisfy the thoughts swirling in his brain.

bruce gets freaked out when the feelings grow more intense so he latches onto his tender care for tim and the desire for him to be healthy and well. he starts brushing the knots out of tim's hair. he takes wipes and cleans off gunk from exposed skin. eventually bruce starts carrying tim upstairs to his bathroom and filling the bathtub. he carefully lowers tim's limp body and uses a cup to dip into the water and spill it over tim's head and body. bruce carefully scrubs tim's skin. he massages tim's scalp with rich rosemary shampoo and carefully paints his head with conditioner.

it helps. caring for tim. cleaning him, bathing him, dressing him up again in soft pajamas and then putting him to bed like a sweet little life sized play doll. bruce doesn't even let his eyes linger when he's cleaning between tim's legs and his fingers dart briefly in between the lips of tim's cunt to rub soap into the skin.

it's good. it's a nice distraction and bruce is able to...to control something. he can decide what soap to use on tim, what pajamas to dress him in- taking care of tim puts control back in bruce's hands and makes him feel...safe. knowing that he CAN do this one thing.

and its helping tim! he wakes up refreshed and clean and happy in his bed that bruce has tucked him into.

one day its a little different. bruce is bathing tim in the tub of his private bathroom like always when his hand drifts between tim's folds and...he's wet. bruce tugs his hand out of the water and stares at his fingers, stunned. there was slick gathered...down there. bruce had felt a glob of it as he's pressed his fingers in between the lips and...

bruce stares. stares at how tim's little pussy is...pinker than normal, how his little clit had...twitched at his touch. bruce's mouth is suddenly bone dry. he bites down on his lower lip and swallows and...he can't clean tim properly until...well until tim's sensitivity is...taken care of.

then bruce recalls the command and figures well...it was worth a shot and then at least bruce wouldn't be doing anything that would cross a line! and tim needed it!!! he needed it so bruce could finish bathing him!!

so..bruce does. he orders tim to cum and watches as tim's brows suddenly furrow and his mouth drops open. he arches up and out of the water, little gasps ringing through the bathroom along with high-pitched 'ah! ah! ah!' sounds as his legs spasm.

tim is still trembling when bruce's hands dive into the water to finish. tim's pussy arches into bruce's hand as he wipes the area and gets tim clean.

in the morning bruce's heart is pounding in his chest as he waits for tim to come down. he hadn't slept a wink the night before, mind just too wrapped up in the memory to let him rest.

but then tim bounces down. he's not bleary eyed like normal and he has a pep in his step as he settles down to eat. he makes more conversation, eats more, he looks less stressed, and he smiles at bruce as he pours himself a tall glass of orange juice.

tim seems in much higher spirits than he does normally and bruce noticies. and the only factor that could explain it was...what happened the night before.

tim was still young, masturbating probably hadn't fully bloomed into a desire until recently. tim was entering sexual maturity and so his body would naturally begin to crave and produce all the hormones that would help him along in that regard.

and...bruce had noticed tim's breast tissue beginning to fatten up. the way tim had looked that night and the way he was acting now...it was clear this was a new need of his body. and bruce....bruce couldn't let his precious robin be starved of anything. it's not as though bruce was doing it for his own sexual pleasure or desire!! tim needed this!! he needed to feel that primal desire and feeling.

and bruce is the only one who can help with it! the only one who can be soft and tender about it. strangers would only ruin tim, they'd be too selfish and focus on their own wants instead of tim. but bruce WANTS tim to be able to feel as good as possible. that night in the baths...it had weighed on bruce's chest because...because tim had gone untouched. he hadn't felt the comforting weight or warmth of bruce's hands on him and it was just far more impersonal than tim deserved.

bruce knew how horribly isolating intimacy could be even when another person was touching you and he didn't want tim to eve have to feel that. so bruce decides to do better.

he can't just immediatly leap to fucking tim. of course he can't!! tim is just too small and he's so young. bruce can barely work a finger into him. orgasms help, they help make tim's hole slicker and more receptive to being penetrated.

bruce spends the day while tim is at school buying up all the supplies he'll need. lube, toys, plugs, and vibrators all in varying sizes.

that night bruce swirls a thin little dildo covered in lube around tim's opening while he uses a bullet shaped vibrator to press against tim's clit. bruce manages to get the toy in easily, thursting and working it in until there's less resistance. from there bruce works up, offering tim's hungry little cunt hole more and more toys, each one bigger than the last until tim's quarter-sized opening will take three of bruce's fingers with no problem.

bruce can barely contain his excitement as he slicks up his cock and holds it in a tight fist. they're on bruce's bed and tim has been stripped of all his clothes, his sweet head is resting on a feather pillow and bruce presses a kiss to each soft cheek as he hovers over him and begins pushing his head into that hot hole.

bruce lets out a drawn out moan as he gives a short, fast thrust before slowing down and letting gravity and his weight do the rest of the work to slide him home. tim is breathy and panting against bruce's chest when he manages to get all the way in. it's a nice snug fit and tim is clenching around him on insitnct as bruce rolls his hips and grunts at the pleasing velvety heat hugging his cock. bruce has gotten undressed for the sole purpose of feeling tim's warm skin against his. tim's baby tits are squished against bruce's chest and he can feel the hard nub of his nipples as he drags his cock out of that baby-making hole.

tim makes a little sighing sound and swallows the air right back in when bruce snaps his hips, sinking all the way back inside with a thick, wet 'squelch' sound. bruce LOVES that sound and makes it his mission to hear more as his big hands wrap around tim's hips (almost meeting in the middle) and start tugging him down onto his cock to meet every thrust.

bruce fucks tim until the only sounds in the room are his own grunting, the wet slaps of his cock slamming into tim's cunt, and tim's whimpery noises and mindless gutted groans.

bruce feels the moment tim cums. he feels the clench, hears, the gasp, and grunts at the vice-like tightness around him.

but he doesn't falter in his thrusts. he keeps fucking tim nice and deep, working that little cunt until bruce was near growling and trying to find a way to punch deeper into tim. bruce cums with a snarl, pressing all his weight onto tim as his hips jerk and jolt, bruce's balls squeezing every drop out of him to release into tim's delightful little pussy.

tim whines under him at the feeling and bruce just shushes him and kisses the crown of his head.

a few minutes later bruce has rolled them both over. he's on his back and catching his breath while tim is flopped over on his chest. bruce helps prop tim up and stares down at the mess of white where they're joined. tim's pink cunt is all puffy and red. there's streaks of white on the lips and his clit is so red it almost looks painful. bruce's palms are over tim's tits, squeezing them as he bends his knees and lets tim's back rest against the front of his thighs.

bruce settles in more comfortably, stroking his hands down tim's sides before reaching his hips. bruce gets himself ready for a nice show as he opens his mouth and -

"ride me."

bruce moans at the sight of tim pushing himself up, cock dragging out of him before his slams down and their hips meet. bruce bites down on his lip as tim begins gyrating his hips, grinding down on bruce and rubbing his poor neglected clit against the forest of hair bruce has at the base of his cock. tim begins bouncing on his cock steadily, little pants coming out of his pretty mouth as bruce watches, satisfaction and arousal filling his chest.

"faster."

tim's breath hitches and his hands let out a 'slap' as he plants them on bruce's chest for better stability. his hips start pistoning down at a faster rate and bruce lets out a shaky breath.

"nngh faster tim, faster, faster, hhhnnngh yes, yes, yes just like that sweetheart nngh keep going, keep going, yes-"

tim was almost a blur, his cries growing louder as he sped up, hips slamming down harder, grinds smearing more wetness. bruce's fingers began digging into hip bones, the entire bottom half of his body starting to press up as he arched-

bruce's mouth feel open and he let out a soul deep grunt when cum shot of him and into tim's relentless riding. tim began squeezing so tight around him, his cries peaking.

bruce probably gave tim whiplash as he threw him down onto the bed and began frantically fucking into that orgasming cunt. bruce felt his eyes roll back into his skull as he fucked tim through both their orgasms.

bruce keeps going. for hours bruce takes care of tim until tim is basically mush and his little cunt can't clench on nothing without a wave of cum gushing out. bruce is carefully cleaning him, using his fingers to scrape out all the excess cum.

for a first time it may have been a little much since when its time fro breakfast the next morning, tim stumbles down like a newborn faun.

bruce is happier than he's been in a while. he slept like a baby after tucking tim into bed. he's pretty he hasn't slept as well as he did the night before in years. he woke up more energetic than before even with the small amount of hours, its like his blood was still thick with the feel-good orgasm hormone because the rest of the day its like he's looking through rose-colored glasses.

bruce can barely wait until the night so when he goes to pick up tim from school he...he just...he knows technically it was more for his benefit when he activates the madhatter's tech having programmed a bluetooth headset for himself and a headband for tim to keep the hair out of his face and ensure that the tech would be effective when he was out of robin gear.

bruce's car is parked out of the way behind a row of hedges and trees so there's no need to move the car. plus the windows are all blacked out so no one will be able to look inside to see tim going down and unzipping bruce's fly to free his cock.

it's quick. barely a few minutes. bruce just needed a bit of...help to hold him over until it was nighttime.

tim makes a face when bruce lifts the order, his nose scrunches and he makes a 'yuck' noise before digging through his backpack for some mints or a pack of gum. bruce knows he did because its what he asks bruce for when he can't find any.

bruce asks "what for?" even as he lifts the tin of peppermints from his suit's pocket.

"my mouth suddenly got a weird aftertaste i think i need to start flossing-"

bruce keeps quiet, eyes on the road ahead as he listens to tim dig around the tin and suck on mints to wipe the salty, thick taste of bruce's cum out of his mouth.

[introspectral]

What's Vision's daily routine?

{out of directives} The first this Vision does in the morning when he "wakes up" is run system checks on himself. He's a lot more paranoid and traumatized now about having his body messed around with without his permission, having his databanks altered or access to them changed, or having unwanted additions like trackers or overrides installed without his knowledge. So first things first, once his mental and metabolic capabilities are ramped up to a normal active level after being slowed overnight, Vision will run diagnostic checks on his major bodily structures/functions and his CPU.

For his body, he'll check for any damages, alterations, or system stresses/failures. Early on, this is a pretty fast and simple task (maybe 5-10 minutes), but as he delves deeper into the memories of his previous life and how he had developed more complex internal systems for himself (digestive, reproductive, etc.), he will want to once again develop those for himself. All the research he did and everything physically that he altered about himself to evolve those systems is stored in his databanks, so all he has to do is follow the same procedure. It still likely takes a few weeks to months for him to completely alter his body to its previous evolved form. Once he does that, there are more structures, processes, and potential points of failure to check, so his somatic diagnostic tests will likely run closer to 15-20 minutes.

For his mind, he'll check his data files - especially those involving memory and anything else that he'd previously lost access to - for viruses, corruption, foreign data, or any sign that something has been altered, removed, or restricted since his last check, as well as making sure his main power source and processing capabilities are functioning at peak capacity. Vision has amazingly powerful and efficient processing power, so a full scan of power, processing, storage, and mental capabilities takes only about 5-7 minutes.

Vision doesn't like to be disturbed while he performs his morning checks. He likes to just be alone with himself to make sure everything is functioning at peak capacity and as it ought to be, before he interacts with anyone or goes about his day. This is for his own peace of mind and frankly to gain back a sense of control over his own mind and body that he felt was taken from him by SWORD's actions. All in all, it's usually about a half hour before he's ready to go. After that, it depends on where Vision is, what stage of his recovery and soul-searching process he's at, and who he might be living with.

If he's living with someone, he will probably seek them out, see how they're doing, see what they want to do today. If it's someone he previous didn't know, he would spend time with them to learn more about them, ask them why they're helping him, ask them what their plans for the future are, etc. If it's someone he does know from his past (e.g. another Avenger or associate), he will likely spend a good portion of the day picking their brain for information on why all of this was allowed to happen to him, what happened to various other people he remembers, and what their plans are now. If it's Wanda, the majority of his day will be spent trying to repair their relationship, wherever it's going to settle now. Whether friends or lovers, it would be important to Vision to repair things and support her as much as possible while also working on his own emotional recovery.

If it's early on after he left Westview and he's alone, he'd probably spend time considering any number of things, such as where to go, what to do with himself, who he truly is, who he wants to be, what actions should be taken against those who wronged him, etc. He's likely to do that in a solitary yet peaceful place, such as a mountain or forest. Aside from giving himself ample time to sort out his thoughts, Vision will just be curious about himself and the world, as he was before. If left to his own devices, a good part of his day will be spent in either introspection or outward exploration of his environment. If he's developed a digestive system, some of his day might be spent cooking, eating, and/or drinking.

At the end of the day, there are a few things Vision likes to do before he rests for the night. Going outside and listening to the sounds of the forest/city he's living in, watching the stars for a bit, and/or winding down with anyone he might be living with are common occurrences. If he's redeveloped his digestive system, he does like a cup of hot tea before bed. No milk or sugar, just tea. His favorite types are natural vanilla bean, chamomile, and orange pekoe. Caffeine doesn't have much of an effect on him, so he doesn't have to care about what he drinks before he rests.

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

I just want to put a major trigger warning to this, and say that if you don't want to answer or even read this, I totally understand. I just need to let this out of me, to someone who could possibly understand. I know no one irl who has or had an ed, nor anyone even online who is trying to recover.

I want to recover at 100%, as in eating food with no consideration for calories or ''health'' (actually just the fear of carbs and 'bad foods'), eating like anyone would, like before. I long for a normal life again, and I've evolved so much, my life could be wonderful.

I said I really wanted to do it, again. I'm in holidays, so I can try to eat more and challenge fear foods, without fearing mental breakdowns in class or guts issues, or anything. But still, it's holding me.

There is this sort of nostalgia that is coming back, my ed shouting louder and louder, grasping me and convincing me I don't want to leave this life. It's so easy, it's so comforting! Hiding behind a wall of numbers and a bunch of math, under this faint and fake vanity and superficiality, focus all my attention, all my worries on this. A perfect control. And I know it's twisted. And I know it's stupid.

A part of me just wants to destroy myself, and I hate to say that, because I know it's mean I'm not fine, when I thought I was doing so much better. It comes to me, more and more often these days, this awful fantasy of these planned meals and half empty fridge, when I'll live alone, how I would follow these poor diets, dress my frail and sick body with big rags or pretty tops, drink coffee while enjoying the agony of hunger.

Many things bring me back nowadays. Some shades of lights, some smells, some words, nothing precise, but I'm thrown in this addiction again. It feels so wrong, I hate myself for wanting this, for being like this. I feel sad and stupid, having lost myself almost willingly to this hell and still being entrapt in it. I was what, 17 when I started? Spent my 18th years old birthday crying, starving. Still restricting for my 19th. I want to cry, how can I be so stupid and just give up so much time, so much joy? Why do I want this?

I don't know what to do. How do I do? How can I toss this trash away, mourn this twisted little universe? How do I stop romantizing my slow death, how do I stop to love dying ?

I'm sorry if this is too harsh to read. I really don't want to make anyone feel bad. But I'm just here, alone, crying in my sheets, and I'm terrified of anything.

Hi, anon. I'm so sorry you've been struggling with this. This has been sitting in my ask box for a bit, just because I've been very low-spoons in my current circumstances, but I hope you are okay.

I think it's excellent that you have been pursuing goals for full recovery and that you recognize the life it could give you. However, you hit the nail on the head when you described your ED as an addiction. An ED can absolutely become an addiction, and addiction changes the brain. It creates strong triggers associated with thought patterns and memories, and these are not so easily changed or gotten rid of. It takes a lot of practice, learning which coping tools work best for you, and lots of time for the brain re-wire itself before that call to the addiction begins to lessen. For some, it never is truly "gone" but affected individuals become stronger, more skilled at navigating the triggers, and further and further along in their healing process.

You are not alone, and you do not need to beat yourself up. A lot of us who've had EDs have romanticized our sickness before, and have clung to it when we knew better. A lot of people struggling with any addiction, even those who seem to be recovering and building much better lives, still feel that strong call back to their old life. Knowing that old life was bad and destructive doesn't lessen the cravings generated in the brain, because the cravings aren't originating from the part of your brain that uses logic. It doesn't mean anything bad about you that you experience thoughts of relapse. It just means that this experience had a significant impact on your brain that is not quickly forgotten. And even knowing this, you can continue to choose recovery every time. You may even find it gets easier to do.

I'm sorry to hear you don't have anyone to compare experiences. I wonder if you could access ED-informed therapy or a support group in your area? It seems like it could really help you to have that support and solidarity, as well as a professional helping you practice utilizing tools to get through urges to relapse. If you cannot access these supports, here are some things you can do on your own: write and create art when you feel this way. Putting the feelings out there will help you understand and process them. Destroy all writings if you aren't living in a safe place, though. Sit with the feelings. Don't pretend you're not feeling them. Let yourself process them. Cry if you need to. Breathe it out. Ask yourself where these feelings came from, what they are trying to tell you, and what you need to heal. And finally, acknowledge your destructive thoughts without giving them power. The more you try to suppress them, the more they will covertly distress you. You don't have to feel guilty about having them, it's all part of the process. Let yourself understand that you are feeling a call back to your addiction, as those who suffer from addiction often do, and that you don't have to beat yourself up for the thoughts. They're thoughts, you have them, you don't need to punish yourself for them. In fact, when you learn what painful or destructive thoughts are trying to tell you about your experience, you may be able to more effectively use your healing tools to move toward the wellness you want. So have some compassion for yourself, because you deserve that wellness just as much as anyone else out there in the healing process.

[kalamitykas]

A rant about the difference between what some people (GC, TERFs, Incels, etc) think a Trans Person thinks, vs My experience

Hi! I’m kinda tired of seeing comments, memes and people talking about trans people assigning us mentalities, ideas and similar that are just.... made up. A lot of these people look like they have never met a trans people, much less sit down to talk with them, actually ask them. Maybe once in a rally, in a screaming match, but not as HUMAN BEINGS.

So, here is my rant, I want to address some of the most common “ideas” they assign trans people, and how different they are to the experience I have or people I know. So, I have all the things I want to say in one place I can just post as a link the next time I see a toxic meme or the same comments. Feel free to use it in that way.

How many trans people there is

I’ll keep this short, but, basically? There’s less of us than you think. We are LESS than 1% of the population. And guess what? At least half of those people are trans MEN. There’s such a focus from people that hate or ridicule trans people on the trans women, or NB, and then they completely ignore at least half of us.

That’s why people that like to sell hate to then sell a product, or win an election love to send hate towards us. We are not enough to care about antagonising us. If a politician starts spewing anti trans rethorics and hate, he won’t even notice the lose of votes from the Trans people of their local area. And since there’s so few of us, they can say whatever they want about us, and most people won’t know a trans person to know if that is true or not.

So these people, they claim all sort of things, waste the time, money and efforts of media, governments, etc, into stoking all this hate and creating all this panic for a miniscule sector of the population, and people effing believe them. Thus they increase their voters, they sell their shitty products, and we get less and less rights, abuse, deaths, etc. And since most people don’t know us in person, they don’t care.

Menstruation/Period

I’ve seen SO many variants of this. From us “lying to ourselves” about how period works, to full “What, do they bleed from their penises?”. Here’s what I know, and then, my experience. OF COURSE trans people don’t experience periods like most Cis menstruating people do. Heck, most Cis menstruating people have VERY different experiences from one another. It is still not well investigated (what a surprise), so we know little of the Hormonal Replacement Threatment effect on periods for people taking estrogen for transition. There are just beginning to be studies about it. So let me share MY experience. I was warned by my endocronologist that it was VERY likely that I would experience menstrual pains to some degree. And since most women in my family have really painful periods, I knew it was going to suck. I WAS NOT PREPARED. Periods for me are like... slow. Instead of each month, they tend to happen every two to three. But instead of being like 3-7 days of pain, for me it can last from 1 to 3 weeks (luckily, it’s more often 1, 1.5 weeks). Of course I don’t bleed, I don’t have a uterus. But I do get: Cramps, muscle ache, back pain, liquid retention increases. And I’ve slowly learned to notice the cyclic changes to my mood. How painful is it for me? The first time I got it, I thought I had caught SEVERE food poisoning. To the point of almost going to the hospital. But then I talked to my sisters, and they started asking me questions, and it was very similar to what they experienced. Of course, missing lots of parts from their experiences. So, when I see people calling trans people delusional because “we think we’ll get our period”.... guess what, the period is not just the uterus part, there are several parts of the process that are controlled directly by the hormones.  Does this mean that I can talk as if I knew what it feels to be a Cis Menstruating person? Hell no. On the contrary, it has given me a whole level of respect for them. I get the “lite” experience and feels like dying, they have the full effing experience and continue going to work, doing chores, living. Mad effing respect.

We want to replace Cis people

Well... no. As said previously, we are not even 1% of the population. How the hell are we going to replace everyone? That point aside, I haven’t talked to a single trans person that wants to “take over” anyone’s life or role.

The whole reason some trans people starts HRT is not to “become X”, is to get closer to how their identity is versus how their body is. It’s an insanely slow process, but it also allows us to slowly learn better what resonates with us.

Don’t get me wrong, I think (this is MY OPINION) that it’s very common for Trans or NB people to change their mind about their identity. This has less to do with us “lying to ourselves”, and more with us learning the difference between our gender identity and what we’ve been told by society a “man” or “woman” should be. That’s why I’m so grateful that the therapist who was helping me at the beginning of my transition hammered into my head this nugget of wisdom: “Don’t jump to behaviours or changes just because that’s what you think you should be, instead try things, see if they feel natural or not. Gauge who you are by yourself, not by what others say you should.”

Trans people force people to date/sleep with them

This one blows my mind, because it only makes sense in videogame logic. Can you imagine, even if you do that, force someone to sleep with you because “Oh, you like women, you have to like me”, how uncomfortable, weird and straight up unsexy it would be to intimate with them? To be intimate who does not find you attractive? Who doesn’t want to be with you? I mean, forget having fun, I think it would be just horrible to go through.

I’ve never met any person, trans or not, that would think like that. I mean, does it hurt a bit when you meet someone and they tell you “I’m not interested”? Sure. Does it sting a bit more if they mention it is because you being trans? Absolutely. Would I ever consider being intimate with someone I know sees me that way? NOPE. Not a chance.

Trans people want to invade Women’s safe spaces

This one is really painful for me. Because at every step in my transition I’ve been SUPER hesitant about stepping in women’s space. Even virtual ones. I would always ask first to the cis people around me if they are ok with me doing so. Heck, I'm terrified of making someone uncomfortable even to this day on the office toilet, where everyone knows me and are friendly with me. EVERY TIME. I don’t use changing rooms. I think even after I have bottom surgery I won’t. I make my plans so I can change at home. And these are places where I know almost everyone involved. When I have to go to a toilet in a bar or public space? Some days I’ve been so terrified that I would feel nauseous. 

And on top of that, add the fear of meeting someone that has anti-trans views. When I go to the toilet is because that’s what I want to do, use the effing toilet. My ideal situation, every time, is that is empty. That I don’t have to do my biological needs withing ear range from another living thing.  I don’t know to what kind of toilets people that think our “final goal” is to invade women’s toilets go.... but nothing sexy happens there. Each does their needs in a cubicle... you have an awkward moment when you leave and they go in... wash your hands, and leave. Anyone really thinks I’ll suffer dysphoria, the fear of being beaten to death just because people think I’m weird and by monthly pains, just for THAT experience? REALLY?

Trans people have a Fetish

I kind of can understand a little bit, if I’m generous, where this one comes from. It’s still completely wrong and proves that people that spew it have not meet real trans people in a personal level. So, let me give you my two cents of how I view this one:

For a lot of trans people, either by discrepancies between how they felt and how they saw themselves, dysphoria, or social enviroment, it was hard to even impossible to consider seeing themselves as desirable or “sexy”. The amount of times people would tell me they were attracted to me during my life and I was SO confused. I saw myself as ugly, as undesirable. I had friends literally telling me “You are attractive”, and I didn’t believe them. Now, after starting HRT, seeing myself in a different light, even with the severe dysphoria I feel about my body, I do like myself a LOT more. Still consider myself not attractive, but it’s less of a visceral reaction than before.

So, to people that do not have all that context, seeing trans people being more open about their bodies, and them liking their bodies more and being proud, as I say, I kinda can see how they could jump to that conclussion. Still, it proves a lot of them talk about us as if they knew everything about us without really knowing anything at all.

Because here’s a diference between what a lot of people seem to think Gender Euphoria is and what it actually means. When someone experiences Euphoria is not a “sexual arousement”, is not that they “get hard on it”. It means that they feel good about being themselves. They finally feel comfortable in their body. It’s like feeling warming inside out of sheer happyness. Is not a kink, is not a fetish, it’s the same happy feeling any Cis person that achieves their gym goals feel. Ah “Look, I’m happy, I’m not horrible... YAY!”

They are targeting kids because they are perverts

Here’s the one that pisses me off because is a combination of ignorance and malicious lies. The main reason the entire LGBTQ+ collective is so adamant about educating children and young people about gender identity and sexualities has NOTHING to do with “recruitment”.

A lot of people from my generation and previous ones suffered for YEARS, because we didn’t understood why we felt different from everyone else. Because we didn’t even know that other people felt like us. I didn’t knew that trans people EXISTED, much less have enough information to identify that I was trans until I was around 26. My biggest regret is having wasted SO MANY years of my life being miserable because I was trying to fit into a role, identity that wasn’t me, and I couldn’t understand WHY I was miserable. I was doing everything I was told I had to do. EVERY. SINGLE. THING. And I hated it. 

That’s why we want the future generation to have all the information. Of course, 90% of them will never use said information, they are Cis Het and they can continue with their lives happily. But for those who aren’t, having the information to identify how they feel and react, know it’s normal, and have the language to ask for guidance and help, is SO important for their happiness.

Teaching kids about the LGBTQ+ won’t make them something they are not. It will help those who already are, and maybe, hopefully reduce the bullying from those who ain’t. THAT is our goal. People living happier lives.

You only need to say you are trans and you get an appointment for a Gender Affirming Surgery and get started on Hormones instantly

If you believe this... you literally have not talked to a trans person ever. Even in countries that have amazing support for Transition, you can expect waiting lines of months if not years to get your FIRST appointment. And that’s just to start talking about the process. Doctors will ask you a lot of questions, recommend alternatives and therapy consultancy if they have doubts, and that’s if they are well intended. The sheer amount of doctors that set a super high bar to even consider allowing the patient to proceed with the treatment is VERY HIGH. Hell, I’m an adult, my case was super clear for all the doctors involved, and I might still have to wait YEARS before I get my bottom surgery. In a place that has a quite good system. Now imagine you are in places like the UK (where doctors actively block people, and the waiting line is on average 8 YEARS), the US (where you are mostly on your own, and even with money in your hand, doctors can and will still block you), or similar.

And now with the increasing waves of anti-trans rethorics and politicians using us as scape goats? Is getting WORSE.

And don’t get me started on the shit options available to most trans people. Just google the options for bottom surgery available for trans men.... is just depressing.

Laws that allow for self-identification

I had to explain this one SO MANY times to cis people, is not even funny. Again, the concern that if you allow a person to legally change their gender will unlock all sorts of crazy and dangerous scenarios only makes sense if we lived in a videogame. Just because my ID says “female” it doesn’t mean that everyone around me will automatically SEE me as female. Hell, it won’t even change how people treat me. How many people asks for your ID before deciding “what” you are?

Here were I live, Spain, we had a new law that simplified the process of legan gender and name change. I had even doctors asking me “but wouldn’t this create issues?” and when I asked them “Ok, name one situation, in everyday life, where the life of a person would change because of a legal change”. Not a single one of them could name a situation. I wouldn’t magically get access to spaces that I couldn’t access before. And before anyone says “Women’s bathroom”, as I mentioned earlier, I use women’s bathrooms, what prevented me from using them was asking people around me if they were ok with me doing so. Not a magical barrier, not a cop asking for IDs.

Funnily enough, these changes due have some negative impacts.... the other way around. If you live in an area that still has some sexist rules for medical access, it can become REALLY hard for trans men to request gynecologist coverage from their social security. Apparently this is getting better, but still, is dumb that it happens.

Trans people are people that wants to have an easier life

This one is straight up dumb. Because of two factors: a) again, our world does not operate by videogame logic. b) If you feel that women have it easier than man, you have some serious “tunnel vision” case.

Let me give you some examples of how my life has becomed more complex or even scary since I pass as a woman.

- I grew up going to highschool in a nasty neighbourhood, so I quickly learned what body language to use, how to walk, talk, etc, to be “invisible”. To be safe. Guess what? That does not work for women. Since I pass, I’ve had situations were I was terrified and suddenly I had no defenses, no tools to avoid notice. Heck, is even worse, as a trans person, I draw even more unwanted attention.

- Dating? Yeah, nope. Now I not only have to deal with the nasty people cis women have to deal with, I also have to deal with guys that have a trans fetish. And I know a lot of people (probably mostly men) will say “Oh, you are complaining that there are people that want to sleep with you?”. And that fails to understand human relationships. To those people I’m not “attractive”. I’m a piece of meat with a specific tag. I’m like a flavour of icecream. They don’t care about me as a person, just as something that they have a fetish. And is so INSANELY creepy and scary.

- Clothes: If Cis women already have it hard to find decent clothes that fit, now imagine having and even less conventional body shape. Heck, finding shoes that do not suck is almost impossible, I have to use customizing options most of the time. Dresses? 90% don’t fit, or look super weird on me. Trousers? Hah. Shirts is the least painful. Accesories? Impossible. I can’t buy online, because the chances of anything fitting me are non-existant.

TL; DR and Conclussion

The image that memes and social media paints of trans people is so disconnected from reality. Most trans people are just that, people that are trying to fit better in their body, in their experience, in their life. We don’t want special treatment, special rights, we just want to be treated as people. And a lot of those views and rethorics encourage people to treat us as much less than that. We are constantly bombarded with comments of “You’ll kill yourself eventually”, “you’re just a pervert”, “you are delusional”. We are treated as if we were the monsters, but what hurts more is that is done in a monstrous way.

I’m not going to ask for empathy or sympathy, because in this day and age, it seems that’s an effing BIG ask. I’m just asking for understanding. In the same way that if someone tells you the sky has turned green, you would turn around and look to check, if someone says something that sounds like trans people “is out of their mind, to cartoonish levels”... maybe double check that? Maybe ask a trans person? Just to confirm. “Hey, is it true that you people believe X?”.

It’s tiring to be dehumanized constantly, by the internet, by politicians, by celebrities. Specially when we see people spend so much time demonizing us and wasting resources on passing laws to make our life even more complicated or impossible, when the world around us has SO MANY THINGS that are important to fight for. Does it make sense that with the state of so many countries, so many politicians put everything on hold to debate if a trans person has the right to a legal name change? Instead of talking about how more and more people can afford to eat and pay rent? They are using us as a distraction, so most people are angry at us, and not at them for not fixing the shit that NEEDS fixing. Stop dancing to their tune. If you don’t care about trans people enough to see us as humans, at the very least, care about yourself enough to not be distracted by the hate manufactured against us to keep you from paying attention.

[gautam-101]

Understanding the Elements: Fire, Earth, Air, and Water in Astrology

Introduction

In astrology, the four classical elements—Fire, Earth, Air, and Water—serve as the foundation for understanding the energy and nature of each zodiac sign. These elements represent the different temperaments, personalities, and traits that shape our behaviors, emotional responses, and ways of interacting with the world. By understanding the role of these elements in your chart, you can gain deeper insight into your strengths, challenges, and how you connect with others. Let’s dive into what each of these elements symbolizes and how they influence the zodiac signs.

Also read - Exploring the Intriguing Connection: Numerology and Astrology

Fire Signs: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Fire is the element of passion, energy, and transformation. It embodies qualities of enthusiasm, inspiration, and boldness. Fire signs—Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius—are known for their dynamic nature, leadership qualities, and courage to take risks. These individuals are driven by instinct, often acting on impulse and following their passions without fear. They have a natural ability to inspire others, often seen as trailblazers in their fields.

However, too much fire can lead to impulsiveness, aggression, and burnout. Fire signs must learn to balance their fiery energy with moments of reflection and mindfulness. When in balance, fire can provide warmth, motivation, and the spark necessary to fuel personal growth and success.

Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Earth represents stability, practicality, and groundedness. Earth signs—Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn—are associated with the material world, preferring tangible results and long-term commitments. These individuals are methodical, reliable, and hard-working, often thriving in environments where structure and order are essential. Earth signs are skilled at manifesting their goals and tend to take a slow, steady approach to achieving their dreams.

While they are dependable, Earth signs can also become too focused on material security and control. This can lead to inflexibility or an overemphasis on practicality at the expense of emotional connection. Learning to embrace spontaneity and trust the flow of life can help Earth signs find balance.

Chat here: Chat with astrologer online

Air Signs: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius

Air is the element of intellect, communication, and ideas. It governs thought processes, curiosity, and social interactions. Air signs—Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius—are often seen as the thinkers and communicators of the zodiac. These individuals thrive on mental stimulation, constantly seeking new knowledge and engaging in conversations that challenge their perspectives. Air signs are also natural connectors, fostering relationships and community bonds.

However, the mental energy of Air can sometimes lead to overthinking, detachment, or inconsistency. When grounded, Air signs can use their intellectual gifts to innovate, connect people, and share ideas that benefit the collective.

Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Water is the element of emotions, intuition, and depth. It represents the subconscious mind, dreams, and emotional connections. Water signs—Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces—are deeply intuitive and sensitive, often absorbing the emotions of those around them. These individuals are compassionate, empathetic, and often find solace in creative or spiritual pursuits. Water signs navigate the world through their feelings, making them incredibly nurturing and supportive.

However, being ruled by emotion can sometimes make Water signs prone to mood swings, emotional overwhelm, or isolation. To stay balanced, they must develop healthy emotional boundaries and trust their intuition without being swayed by external influences.

Conclusion

Understanding the elements in astrology offers valuable insights into how different zodiac signs express their energy. Fire brings passion and motivation, Earth provides stability and practicality, Air fuels communication and intellect, while Water nourishes emotional depth and intuition. By recognizing which elements dominate your chart, you can better understand your strengths, challenges, and the areas of life where you may need balance. Embracing the wisdom of the elements allows you to harness their power and flow more harmoniously with the natural rhythms of life.

Have any questions? Speak with an astrologer: Download the App Now

[idigitizellp21]

How Successful People Think Differently And What Can You Learn

When we think of success, we often focus on external achievements like promotions, wealth, or status. However, success begins long before these visible milestones. It starts in the mind. As psychotherapists, we explore how thought patterns influence behaviours.

Let’s start with a simple question: Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I’ll never be able to do that” or “I’m just not cut out for this?” These thoughts, while common, are self-limiting and can block growth. But what if you approached challenges with a belief that you can grow and improve? Successful people do exactly that.

Growth Mindset

One of the biggest differences in how successful people think is their belief that they can learn and grow from challenges. This is what psychologist Carol Dweck, American psychologist, refers to as a growth mindset. Instead of believing abilities are fixed, successful people see them as malleable, shaped by effort and learning.

For instance, a study by Dweck (2006) showed that students with a growth mindset outperformed those with a fixed mindset, as they accepted failure as part of the learning process. So, next time you face a difficult situation, ask yourself: “What can I learn from this?”

Emotional Regulation

Another key distinction in the thinking of successful people is how they handle stress. They experience pressure just like anyone else, but they have learned how to regulate their emotions effectively. When you let stress spiral out of control, it clouds your judgement and decision-making. But when you learn to manage it, you regain control over your responses.

Setting Specific Goals

Successful people do not just dream about success, they actively plan for it. Setting clear, structured goals can exalt your sense of direction and motivation. In fact, neuroscience shows that when you set specific, achievable goals, your brain releases dopamine, the feel-good chemical that boosts motivation and reward.

Rather than aiming for broad outcomes like “I want to be successful,” try defining smaller, concrete steps. Individuals who set specific, challenging goals were significantly more productive and accomplished more than those with vague objectives.

Self-Reflection

Successful individuals practise ‘metacognition’, or thinking about their own thinking. They consistently reflect on their thought processes and adjust them to improve outcomes. Have you ever noticed how certain thoughts might hold you back? Self-reflection is a powerful tool for recognising those mental patterns.

Risk-Taking

You will notice that successful people are not necessarily fearless, they just approach risk differently. Instead of being paralyzed by the possibility of failure, they take “calculated risks”. They weigh the potential rewards against the possible downsides, which allows them to step outside their comfort zone with confidence.

Fear of failure is natural, but how you respond to it is what sets successful people apart. Ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen? Then decide if the risk is worth it. Studies indicate that people who take calculated risks, rather than avoiding them, tend to achieve greater success (Forbes, 2017).

Patience and Delayed Gratification

In a world where instant gratification is everywhere, successful people are playing the long game. They understand the importance of delayed gratification, working now for rewards that may come later. Patience is a skill that allows them to stay focused, even when progress seems slow.

In one famous experiment, the “Marshmallow Test” by Walter Mischel (1972), children who demonstrated the ability to delay gratification were more successful later in life, with higher academic performance and better health outcomes. This principle applies just as well to adults pursuing long-term goals.

Change Your Mindset to Transform Your Life

Success is not simply about external achievements; it’s rooted in psychology. The way you think shapes your behaviour, and ultimately, your outcomes. As your psychotherapist, we encourage you to reflect on these traits and consider how they align with your current mindset. Small changes in how you think can create profound changes in how you experience life.

Incorporating these cognitive techniques can transform your emotional strength and elevate your mental well-being. The experienced therapists at ImPerfect are dedicated to guiding you through advanced therapeutic interventions, empowering you to effectively manage anxiety and cultivate lasting emotional strength.

[worldiginews]

What Are The Various Types Of Yoga And How Can You Practice It

Yoga is a tradition that has existed for centuries and focuses on the use of the body to control the mind and bring about the unity of the two. It provides different styles to suit the various needs and wants of the people. Regardless of your purpose whether it is to have leisure, exercise, or find enlightenment, yoga sessions have it all.

Popular Types of Yoga

1. Hatha Yoga

Hatha yoga is a learning form of yoga that helps in developing basic yoga postures. It mainly requires alignment techniques in thought process and breathing hence is suitable for learners. Hatha yoga sessions are generally slow including focused workouts and lots of relaxation.

2. Vinyasa Yoga

Vinyasa is an intensive type of yoga that involves transition movements from one pose to another in correspondence to breathing movement. This kind of yoga is beneficial in offering effective cardiac workouts and is suitable for expansion and strength. Vinyasa yoga sessions are more appropriate for those people who like active training.

3. Ashtanga Yoga

Ashtanga yoga comprises a fixed sequence of asanas. There is a certain amount of force exertion involved and is concerned with creating muscular power and tenacity as well as flexibility. For structured athletes who want to take no breaks from the gym, Ashtanga is the best kind of Yoga to undertake.

Starting with Yoga: A Beginner’s Guide

Choose the Right Style

Discover which type of yoga sessions are good for your fitness and what type can benefit you according to your needs. Hatha suits the novices; the more advanced classes are Ashtanga or Vinyasa.

Find a Class or Online Tutorial

In case you do not have access to local classes or have no time to attend classes, try to find trusted online sources that can offer you guided sessions and one of such places is the Bodhi School of Yoga. Moreover, various yoga courses are available according to your needs such as prenatal yoga for expecting women.

Conclusion

Yoga is a form of exercise that has riches when it comes to improving one’s mental as well as physical health. It is clear that if you decide on wellness and begin with the steps here outlined, you are on your way to inner peace.

[brainanalyse]

how to do self therapyHow To Do Self Therapy

Introduction

Ever felt like you needed someone to talk to but couldn’t find the right person? That’s where self-therapy comes in. It’s a powerful way to manage your mental health on your own terms. But what exactly is self-therapy, and how can you get started?

What is Self-Therapy

Self-therapy is a process where you use therapeutic techniques to help yourself manage and overcome emotional difficulties. It’s like being your own therapist, guiding yourself through challenges and working towards better mental health.

Importance of Self Therapy

In today’s fast-paced world, taking time for yourself is crucial. Self-therapy offers a way to address your mental health needs without the need for a therapist. It’s empowering, cost-effective, and accessible.

Who Can Benefit from Self-Therapy

Almost anyone can benefit from self-therapy. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, stress, or just want to understand yourself better, self-therapy provides tools and techniques to help you navigate your emotions.

Understanding Self-Therapy

Definition of Self-Therapy Self-therapy involves using techniques from various therapeutic practices, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and mindfulness, to address personal issues.

Common Misconceptions One common misconception is that self-therapy is only for those who can’t afford professional help. In reality, it’s a beneficial practice for anyone looking to improve their mental health.

Benefits of Self-Therapy Self-therapy can lead to increased self-awareness, improved emotional regulation, and a greater sense of control over your mental health. It’s a proactive way to take care of your mind.

Preparing for Self-Therapy

Setting Realistic Expectations It’s important to understand that self-therapy is a journey. Set realistic goals and be patient with yourself. Progress might be slow, but it’s still progress.

Creating a Safe Space Find a quiet, comfortable place where you won’t be interrupted. This could be a corner of your room, a park, or anywhere you feel safe and relaxed.

Gathering Necessary Tools You might need a journal, art supplies, or a mindfulness app. Gather whatever tools you think will help you in your self-therapy journey.

Techniques for Self-Therapy

Mindfulness and Meditation Benefits of Mindfulness Mindfulness helps you stay present and reduces anxiety. It can improve your focus and overall well-being.

Simple Mindfulness Exercises Start with deep breathing exercises or guided meditations. Apps like Headspace or Calm can be very helpful.

Journaling How Journaling Helps Writing down your thoughts can provide clarity and insight. It’s a great way to process emotions and track your progress.

Prompts to Get Started What am I feeling right now? What are three things I’m grateful for today? What is one challenge I faced today and how did I handle it? Cognitive Behavioral Techniques Understanding Cognitive Distortions Cognitive distortions are irrational thoughts that can influence your emotions. Identifying and challenging these can be very therapeutic.

Reframing Negative Thoughts Instead of thinking “I always mess up,” try “I made a mistake, but I can learn from it.” This shift can significantly impact your mental health.

Art and Creative Therapies Benefits of Creative Expression Engaging in creative activities can be a powerful way to express and process emotions.

Easy Art Therapy Activities Try drawing, painting, or even coloring books. The act of creating can be very therapeutic.

Incorporating Self-Therapy into Daily Life Building a Routine Consistency is key. Set aside time each day or week for self-therapy.

Setting Aside Time for Self-Therapy Even just 15 minutes a day can make a big difference. Find a time that works for you and stick to it.

Tracking Progress Keep a journal or use an app to track your progress. Celebrate small victories along the way.

Overcoming Challenges in Self-Therapy Dealing with Resistance It’s normal to feel resistance. Acknowledge it and gently push through.

Managing Emotional Overwhelm If you feel overwhelmed, take a step back. Self-therapy should feel manageable, not overwhelming.

Knowing When to Seek Professional Help If self-therapy isn’t enough, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness.

Case Studies and Success Stories Real-life Examples Many people have successfully used self-therapy to overcome challenges. Hearing their stories can be very motivating.

Lessons Learned Learn from others’ experiences. What worked for them might work for you too.

Conclusion Self-therapy is a valuable tool for managing your mental health. It’s accessible, empowering, and effective. Start your journey today and see the difference it can make.

FAQs

How Often Should I Do Self-Therapy? It depends on your needs, but even a few times a week can be beneficial.

Can Self-Therapy Replace Professional Therapy? Self-therapy is a great supplement, but it may not replace professional help for everyone.

What if I Feel Worse After Self-Therapy? It’s normal to feel worse before you feel better. If it persists, consider seeking professional help.

How Long Does It Take to See Results? It varies, but with consistent practice, you should start to see improvements within a few weeks.

Are There Any Risks Associated with Self-Therapy? Self-therapy is generally safe, but if you feel overwhelmed, it’s important to seek professional help.

[narrators-journal]

Can U do some chikarin x miyabi smut? I have a HC that they messed around in school since their best friends could U also make it during school thanks

So, thanks to life, this took me a while to get around to. But, I thought it was a fun prompt, so I fought and got it written down. It might not be the best, but I hope it’s fun! And I hope it comes across clearly that Miyabi and Chikarin have maybe been at this a few times already, and that they are now, for sure, seniors. Because reminder! Everyone in these scenarios are aged up to at least 18! But, regardless of my struggles, enjoy!

CW: Toys, not a lot ‘semi’ for this public lewdness, edging, Chika’s kinda a simp lol. No hardcore fuckin’, but I hope it’s still plenty hot!

Chikarin Ueda let out a slow breath as she shifted in the uncomfortable seat of her desk. The wooden chair’s unyielding stiffness added to by the vibration of the small toy that pressed against yet another sensitive spot within the blue-haired girl. That constant pleasure that warmed Chika’s blood sparked impatient pain as well as muddied her thoughts with bliss. Even as she tried to listen to her math teacher drone on about the newest equations they were to learn.

Yet, how could she have ever paid attention to the process on the board today? How could she absorb such boredom with the haze of needy fantasies and desires that swirled in her mind? Even when she tried, all it took to break that focus was a calculated button press from Chikarin’s tormentor. Miyabi Hanakouji.

When she let herself go out of guilt, Miyabi had lost her popularity. In the matter of a single summer between grades, their classmates seemed to forget her time at the top. How she had every man and woman on their knees for her without even trying. Instead, they seemed to see her softer physique and assume she was now a pathetic girl they could poke at and mock.

But, Chikarin had never seen her like that. Granted, she hadn’t known Miyabi in those years like Eikichi had. But, she did see that confident, fun sort of energy still within the soft girl, and that's what was so attractive to Chika. She didn’t see a squishy, lazy woman, she could see the woman beneath the shame and guilt.

But god damn, should she have asked Eikichi more about his girlfriend. Then, she would’ve thought twice about giving an ex-mean girl control of the vibrator in her cunt. She would’ve put more thought into her words, and known better than to suggest this sort of game to a woman who would torment her like this.

However, Chikarin couldn’t deny how much she enjoyedthat torment. The simple thought of Miyabi being cruel to her in such a euphoric way, the impatience, everything. But, it didn’t stop there, because she also loved the risk. The risk of the dribbles of sticky excitement that ran down her thighs, the risk of punishment. Being at the whim of a cute girl who knew how to tease the release Chikarin craved through each class, but not give it. The thought of that same cute girl running her hands over her body, her fingers in place of the toy to pump into Chikarin’s more-than-ready pussy. It made Chikarin weak.

Even though the toy’s constant buzz gave her a belly ache from desire, Chikarin’s pale skin warmed with thrill. That gentle stimulation, paired with the lustful daydreams of Miyabi’s tongue against her folds. With her nails in the blue-haired girl’s thighs, tongue worked into her, or perhaps a strap-on instead...

It had her at war with herself to stop the escape of any rogue moans or whines during class. I wish I could get fucked already…She mentally whined to the pudgy girl. But, she she knew that she'd have to wait. She had to win this game to earn an orgasm. Just like every other time she entertained Miyabi or her boyfriend.

Chikarin was a plaything for Miyabi and Eikichi both, and she adored every moment of it for the most part.

[lumiereandcogsworth]

hii helloo

another question …😭

so you said the time adam and belle were together during the curse was like 1-2 months when it was really 5 days and the curse was january to june but felt like years ..

so after the curse is lifted and belle tells maurice she fell in love with adam or something wouldn’t he go “in 5 days??!!” and then she’ll be shocked it was only 5 days? my main question is did they know time went slower so after the curse ended they weren’t surprised? did adam know the curse was only like 6 months?? im actually so curious rn

ooohhh yeah yeah yeah

so my thinking there is that no, they were not aware that they were in slow motion, so to speak. they (the gang pre-belle) obviously get confused/suspicious when the snow… never leaves them… but i think they just assume that the WEATHER was affected, not time. their clocks still work like normal (except cogsworth as he seems to be able to control his clock hands ! except when a petal falls and then he makes the hour noise) based on the fact that the sun still rises (IN THE EAST🎶) and sets like normal for them, AND they seem to still serve regularly scheduled meals (whether or not adam was Present for said meals varied wildly — hence the unattended dinner that maurice happens upon at the beginning.) and in general they seem pretty… idk, calm? like there seems to be some order to their days. anyway, they appear pretty blissfully unaware of the outside world, just as much as the outside world is blissfully unaware of them!

and i think it’s the same for belle, once she spends a night there and transfers from the outside to the inside. she doesn’t feel a shift of time, she just feels like she walked into a snowglobe. i think adam and belle (and the staff) all genuinely feel like they fell in love over a longer [than 5 days] period of time!

i’m not really sure how it comes up, whether someone says something, or they see the date on a newspaper, but somehow, belle is like “wait, it’s still june???” to maurice. and he’s like ??? yeah????? and this leads to a whole unraveling of belle being shocked to learn it’s only been 5 days to her father (and every other villager) because she Fully feels like it’s been weeks and weeks. and she talks to the gang and says guys what do YOU think the date is??? and cogsworth says that he HAS been trying to keep track and he says some future date. and belle has this exploding brain moment and then calmly says it’s june 1740. and everyone is just like. HUH?????

it’s just a crazy realization, truly. it’s a lot for everyone to process. but i don’t think that distress carries nearly as much weight as the joy they all feel to be human again! so it’s just kind of a mind fuck for a little bit, and then they adjust. there is certainly a level of trauma-bonding that i think they’ll always have though, lmao.

but back to belle and maurice, yeah, it’s very very weird for him!! i talk about this here but it is hard for him initially to grapple with the fact that in FIVE days (from his perspective) the monster who imprisoned him, then imprisoned his daughter and threw him out, is now actually the prince and is good and very mutually In Love with his daughter. like GOSH. huge 180 for maurice. i really hope to write some fic about that because it’s such an interesting subject.

i won’t bother rambling about that here since i already did in that linked post, but yeah those are my thoughts!!! no one knew that the curse was actually a relatively short amount of real time, and despite how mind boggling that is for everyone, there is also a sense of relief, that all that time wasn’t truly lost. but mentally it still kind of feels like that, so it’s just a strange thing. i should write a paper on the psychology of how the curse affected all of them😭

[readmedia777]

Step Into Serenity: How Anxiety Coaching Can Change Your Outlook

In today's fast-paced world, it's easy for the pressures of daily life to mount and overwhelm us, often manifesting as anxiety. Anxiety coaching, a specialized form of personal coaching, aims to address these feelings head-on, providing strategies and support to help individuals manage and mitigate their anxiety. By focusing on personalized coping mechanisms and understanding the root causes of anxiety, this approach offers a transformative possibility for those looking to lead a calmer, more centered life.

Anxiety coaching begins by establishing a safe and understanding environment where individuals feel secure to open up about their anxieties. Unlike traditional therapy that might delve deeply into past traumas and psychological analysis, anxiety coaching focuses more on the present and the future. It equips individuals with practical tools to deal with everyday anxiety. Coaches work to identify specific triggers and thought patterns that lead to anxiety, enabling clients to develop proactive strategies to manage their mental state. Visit https://www.increasehealth.co.uk/anxiety-coaching-top-tips/

One of the core components of anxiety coaching is teaching mindfulness and relaxation techniques. Techniques such as deep breathing exercises, guided imagery, and mindfulness meditation are often employed to help clients slow down their thoughts and focus on the present moment. These practices not only alleviate symptoms of anxiety in the short term but also contribute to a long-term resilience against stress.

Goal setting is another crucial aspect of anxiety coaching. Coaches assist clients in setting realistic, achievable goals that are aligned with personal values and life aspirations. By focusing on small, manageable objectives, individuals can feel a sense of accomplishment that builds confidence and reduces feelings of anxiety related to inadequacy or failure.

Furthermore, anxiety coaches often incorporate cognitive-behavioral techniques to help reframe negative thoughts. By challenging and altering irrational or destructive thought patterns, individuals can change their reactions to anxiety-inducing situations. This cognitive aspect is vital as it addresses the mental processes that often underlie anxiety disorders.

Another significant benefit of anxiety coaching is the development of personal coping strategies tailored to each individual's unique needs. Whether it's through writing, physical activity, or strategic social interactions, coaches help clients find what works best for them in managing their anxiety. This personalization makes the coaching process particularly effective, as it empowers individuals to take control of their anxiety rather than feeling controlled by it.

Anxiety coaching also often addresses lifestyle factors that can impact mental health, such as diet, exercise, and sleep. Coaches may provide guidance on how to structure daily routines to support optimal mental health. This holistic approach ensures that the physical factors that may contribute to anxiety are not overlooked.

Importantly, anxiety coaching provides a supportive and non-judgmental partnership. Coaches offer encouragement and accountability, which can be crucial for someone struggling with anxiety. Knowing that there is someone to turn to, who understands the challenges faced and is committed to providing personalized support, can be incredibly reassuring.

The journey through anxiety coaching can significantly change how individuals view themselves and their ability to cope with stress. It often leads to a greater sense of self-awareness and self-mastery, as individuals learn to tune into their feelings and effectively manage their emotional states.

While anxiety coaching can be a powerful tool for many, it's important to note that it is not a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment for those with severe anxiety disorders. However, for many people dealing with everyday anxieties, it offers a viable and effective option to regain control over their mental well-being.

In conclusion, anxiety coaching offers a path to serenity that many may not have considered before. It provides a comprehensive, tailored approach to dealing with anxiety, focusing on empowerment and practical strategies for management. For anyone looking to change their outlook on life and find peace amidst the chaos, anxiety coaching might just be the stepping stone needed to transform their mental landscape.

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The Art of Calm: Learning It from an Anxiety Coach

In a world that often feels like it moves at breakneck speed, the guidance of an anxiety coach can be a beacon of calm and clarity. These coaches provide strategies and insights tailored to help individuals navigate the often turbulent waters of anxiety, offering tools that foster peace and mental well-being. Learning the art of calm from an anxiety coach involves understanding the nature of anxiety, identifying triggers, and developing personalized strategies to manage stress and promote tranquility.

Anxiety coaches are well-versed in the dynamics of mental health, particularly how anxiety can manifest and influence daily life. Through their expertise, they teach clients how to observe their thoughts and feelings without judgment, a critical step in managing anxiety. This approach is rooted in mindfulness, which encourages individuals to stay present and engaged in the current moment, reducing worries about the past or future. Visit https://www.keepandshare.com/doc4/136182/exactly-how-to-locate-the-right-anxiousness-train-for-you

One of the fundamental techniques taught by anxiety coaches is deep breathing. This method is more than just a temporary relief; it's a powerful tool that, when practiced regularly, can change the body's response to stress. Deep breathing exercises help to slow down the heart rate and lower blood pressure, creating a physical state of calm that can counteract the onset of anxiety.

Another key area of focus is cognitive restructuring. Anxiety often distorts a person’s thinking patterns, leading to negative and often unrealistic thoughts. Anxiety coaches work with their clients to identify these cognitive distortions and gradually replace them with more balanced and realistic thoughts. This shift can significantly reduce the emotional impact of anxiety.

Stress management is also a critical component of what anxiety coaches offer. They equip individuals with a variety of stress reduction techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery, and even basic yoga poses. Each of these practices serves to lower stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, promoting a sense of calm.

Anxiety coaches also emphasize the importance of a well-structured routine. Regular sleep patterns, healthy eating habits, and physical activity are all advocated as part of a holistic approach to managing anxiety. A consistent routine can provide a sense of predictability and control, which is often lacking in the lives of those who struggle with anxiety.

Moreover, setting boundaries is another crucial lesson from anxiety coaches. In today's always-on culture, learning to say no and prioritize personal well-being can be challenging. Coaches help clients understand the importance of setting limits with work, social engagements, and family responsibilities to prevent burnout and maintain mental health.

Journaling is another therapeutic tool that anxiety coaches might recommend. It allows individuals to express their thoughts and emotions in a safe, private way, which can be particularly useful for those who may not be comfortable expressing themselves verbally. Writing down worries and fears can make them seem less daunting and more manageable.

Anxiety coaches also provide support in building a support network. They encourage clients to reach out to friends, family, and support groups to share their experiences and challenges. Knowing that others understand and support their journey can make a significant difference in an individual’s recovery process.

The techniques and support offered by anxiety coaches are not just about coping with anxiety; they're about thriving despite it. By mastering these skills, individuals can not only manage their anxiety but also improve their overall quality of life, leading to enhanced relationships, productivity, and personal satisfaction.

In conclusion, the art of calm is a skill that can be honed under the guidance of an anxiety coach. Through their expertise, these coaches provide valuable tools and support, helping individuals to navigate their anxiety more effectively and embrace a more peaceful, fulfilling life.

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Enroll At The Top NYC Meditation Class For Learning To Meditate 

You can transform your life and restore your health much more quickly than those who do not relieve stress. Meditation taught at the top Meditation Center NYC is being recommended by many doctors for cancer patients because even the stress of knowing you have the disease can slow progress.

In one controlled study, of ninety% disease patients who did care meditation for a very long time, this is where you clear your psyche and not consider anything while at the same time thinking, 31% had less side effects of pressure and 65% had less episodes of temperament aggravation than the people who did not contemplate.

NYC meditation class

Additionally, some studies have suggested that practicing meditation more frequently increases the likelihood of success. Additionally, it has been demonstrated that reducing stress levels reduces use of harmful chemical drugs, which can have a long-term negative impact on one's health.

Rather than compelling yourself not to think, or figured halting, you can utilize a greatly improved, more charming, and more useful technique for thought discharge. The procedure is as follows: Instead of trying to stop thinking, try to picture your thoughts as something physical and fleeting like leaves blowing in the wind, bubbles in a stream of water, clouds in the sky, or whatever else strikes your fancy.

Additionally, it can be used to treat a wide range of diseases, including, but not limited to, emotional trauma, anxiety, insomnia, ADHD, and depression.

Techniques for Healing Through Meditation:

If used regularly, healing meditation techniques can help people in a number of different ways. These numerous advantages include:

Improves spiritual and psychological health, lowers blood pressure, reduces stress, improves concentration, and boosts self-esteem. Improves immune function. Slows the aging process. Reduces anxiety and boosts energy. Cures insomnia and addiction. Improves stress-related disorders. Provides complete relaxation. It promises to improve your concentration, focus, self-awareness, self-control, willpower, and ability to control your thoughts and actions more effectively.

Individuals' weaknesses and most of our concerns come from the powerless part in our characters, which is our feelings. Your emotions will control your mind if you don't control your mental faculties well. The goal of meditation is to strengthen your mind so that you can control your own life rather than allowing your emotions to rule. In order to access your inherent wisdom and tranquility, meditation forces you to become acutely aware of your mental and inner selves.

You will be able to maintain a calm and peaceful mental center regardless of the chaos that surrounds you if you master the art of meditation.You are making the right choice to give it a shot right now if you have not already. You can expect a lot of unexpected changes in your life, including changes to your health, if you can make it a habit.

If you suffer from anxiety, you are aware of how unpleasant it is to constantly confront fears and worries. Chronic anxiety is a growing problem in today's stressful society, and you are not alone; however, there is no reason to accept that you are experiencing this state. A lot of people are finding that meditation can be a very good way to get rid of anxiety. Therefore, if you want to learn how to naturally alleviate anxiety, continue reading for additional details.

Stress-inducing thoughts and external distractions are reduced as brain waves slow down. Therefore, from a physiological standpoint, reaching the alpha state is the objective of meditation.

There are many different types and styles of meditation taught at NYC Meditation Class. As more and more people realize that the kingdom of God can only be found in our own hearts, it has gained popularity.

Conclusion Contemplation essentially includes calming the psyche by centering your considerations. You can take a break from the constant whirlwind of worries in your head by doing this. The object of your center differs, as indicated by the meditation technique that you are utilizing.