#it's literally my fucking sleeper agent word

[congademoman]

oh for sure man let me just

[clockwork-carstairs]

while also being acutely aware that your behaviour has, outwardly, been dodgy and unexplainable up to this point and YOU know why, and you know what happened to you, but you can't really explain it to anyone because how could they understand? and also because you don't want them to pity you, but you know how it looks, and you run after her anyway, because you are miserable and you need to tell her how you feel, and you see her with your best friend, both looking happier than you've seen either of them look in a long, long time and you wonder if coming here really was the right decision after all

Some of you have never married a girl you thought you didn't love to protect her reputation then realized you were actually always madly in love with her but she had run off to Paris with your best friend who was also in love with her and your dad didn't let you go to Paris because your little sister had run off to bring back from the dead her ghost boyfriend with the help of a crazy-looking immortal purple-eyed man and it shows.

[blindbatalex]

I hung out with @k-ky all day and she literally activated the sleeper carraville agent that lives inside my brain at all times. I really and truly do not have time to start on a whole new WIP right now, so please enjoy this little 1k teaser in the meanwhile.

By the time Jamie parked the car and trudged to the house, the front door was already open with Gary looming behind.  Between the dusk falling quietly outside and the hallway light he had not bothered to turn on, the way he would not meet Jamie’s eyes, he resembled a ghost.  Jamie ignored the raw spot the thought touched in his chest—the still too fresh panic a call from the hospital saying that your friend collapsed tends to inspire.

“Traffic was mad.”  He chuckled as he walked in.  It sounded strained and echoed ominously in Gary’s minimalist, unpleasant house.  “I should have honestly taken the train.”

Honestly, if Gary had died and come back as a ghost, he would be a poltergeist.  An annoying, self-righteous, argumentative poltergeist that drives property values down by his sheer potential to drive any people unfortunate enough to buy the house up the wall.  Neither did he bother to so much as crane his neck to look at Jamie as he led them into the bowels of the house.

“Thought you’d changed your mind.”

Jamie rolled his eyes.  “Yeah, well, it was a close thing,” he huffed, and regretted it instantly when Gary’s step faltered.  It was a fucking joke.  After everything they have been through, did he, could he think–

And while he meant no disrespect to the witches, Jamie struggled to understand why they had to drag him into the curse they rightfully wanted to cast upon Gary.  Bloody hell.  “But if you died, who would I rib after every time United bottle yet another game?”

With that they reached the living room.  Gary sat down on the sofa and for the first time since Jamie came in, deigned to meet his eyes.  It wasn’t just the light, he definitely looked haggard.  His ugly face pale and with deep bruises under his eyes.  He wasn’t happy either, judging by the thin line of his mouth.

If anything I am shocked that it took you this long to get yourself cursed, the way you carry on, was what Jamie wanted to say but someone needed to be the adult in the room so he held his tongue, choosing to plop himself down on the sofa next to Gary instead.  He wrapped a firm arm around Gary’s shoulder and popped his feet on the coffee table.

“Get your feet down,” was all the thanks Gary could be bothered to give, alongside a vicious poke at his ankle with his big toe.

“No, you get your feet up.”

“I don’t know how you live in Bootle, but we for one have standards here–”

“No, you idiot, we ought to maximise the surface area, innit?”

“You mean–?”

“Press our legs together, yeah.”

Whatever little colour there was in Gary’s face drained at Jamie’s words.  It was daft—it was so mind-bogglingly daft that Jamie had no words for it—but then again, they were ex-footballers for God’s sake.  They had spent 30-odd years watching their teammates strut around naked in the showers, getting pulled into hugs and shoving and, in Gary’s case, cuddling up with Beckham to watch telly.  Sure the two of them did not hug, and Jamie did not cuddle with blokes, but given they were where they were, neither was there any reason for—this.  To act like petulant children.  Or prisoners on death row.

Jamie glared at him, withdrawing his arm.

“I’m sorry, do you want to die?”

Not really, but I want to cuddle with you even less, the dark look that crossed Gary’s face seemed to say. 

The git. He just had to be so stubborn about everything, make life as difficult as possible for whoever was trying to give him a hand.

Jamie closed his eyes, breathing through his nose to try and get a lid on the anger he felt burning in every cell of his body.  Honestly, who in their right mind would pick an argument for example with a coven of witches on the definition of what constituted witchcraft in the first place?  

But when he explained the curse, and what seemed to keep Gary alive, his mum had smiled and said– he is lucky to have a friend like you then, isn’t he?  And Beckham, who for some reason felt he had the right to give Jamie a call, let alone to order him around, had said– cut him some slack will you, it’s a bit awkward for him.  And yeah, if Jamie put himself in Gary’s shoes, he could see why having to–

“Look,” he said through gritted teeth, his eyes still shut.  “I don’t like this either but you are my friend and I happen to care about you.  You scared the hell out of me, Gary.  And if this is what we have to do to manage until we find a way to break the curse, I’d–” His voice betrayed him, crushed under the weight of a singular truth.  Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and looked at Gary.  “I’d do anything, alright?  And I think you’d do the same for me, if our places were swapped.  So.”

Gary nodded, very faintly.  Is it so awful, Jamie wondered, having to cuddle with me that you made me say all of that out loud?  Even at the hospital, when he was quite out of it, he had tried to protest, to push him away.  Said, I can’t.  

“Take off your shoes.”

Cut him some slack.  Yeah.

Jamie did as he was told.  Besides, for one of the few times in his life, he wasn’t sure he had any more words in him left.  Gary was already taking off his own.  

When he was done he put his feet up on the coffee table and Jamie followed suit, shifting closer towards him to bring their bodies flush against one another.  With one hand he turned the telly on while the other arm he wrapped around Gary’s shoulder again.  Gary for his part even made a tiny effort to lean into the touch this time, whether from guilt or self-preservation, Jamie could not tell.

All these years they’d known each other—and Jamie could count the number of times they hugged on one hand.  In Valencia, after that defeat, once.  Once when Jamie had been hammered out of his mind in London—though that was more Gary taking on his weight as he half-carried Jamie back to the hotel than anything else.  He’d been warm beside him then, too, like he was now, strong, a little soft, just—good.  

The two of them fit.  There was no use thinking about that.  They certainly did not fit in this way.  He could smell Gary’s aftershave, feel his shoulders rise and fall with each breath.  It felt awful--a force threatening to rip apart the walls of his cells.

No wonder, he thought, no fucking wonder.

Next time, he would make sure to get laid before coming over, so his body would not mistake affection, at once mechanical and friendly, for genuine desire.

For Gary N.eville?

Come on.

[the-fox-collective]

This is the personal account for @coining-system-terms and @saltyfoxes-artist I'm gonna talk about whatever I want here but here's some things you should know:

Basic:

We're 18, we mostly use singular first person pronouns to refer to ourself but sometimes use plural to reduce confusion about collective vs individual alter.

We use the terms alters, headmates and sysmates for Most of the system. There are certain areas where the inhabitants are parts but do not refer to us as parts by default.

We have medically recognised dissociative disorder and plurality but a diagnosis is a struggle to get and we're working on it. We are physically disabled and will complain about it.

Stances:

Literally couldn't care less if endos exist or not. I'm not them, I have no idea what their life has been, I'm also not a psychologist specialising in plurality, and certainly not their psychologist. I do not want to talk to endos about their plurality because I will not be able to relate to them, so I don't want them adding things to my posts. It's easier to say anti endo.

I believe endos exist, I am against fake claiming, I believe there are ways to have a CDD and also be endogen (for example having spiritual plurality as well as DID). I do not care if pro endos, anti endos or endo neutrals interact with me but I must ask that those without a CDD do not interact with my posts specific to having a CDD. I will make a banner for it. I don't want created systems interacting under any circumstance, or followers of Sophieinwonderland.

I believe everyone should access therapy/counselling about their mental health, even if they have had bad experiences because not all professionals are evil incarnate. I think these are good first steps into introspection and can lead to getting the right support when needed. Pro recovery, psych critical (institutions should be improved with the actual well being of patients in mind, nonconsensual "support" is more harmful than good).

I believe transmisogny and transandrophobia are both real and I believe that when people of a marginalised group coin terms to describe their OWN oppression you should use their words instead of making your own FOR them. Intersexism is also real and therefore using AGAB and TME/TMA is not useful in a majority of discussions. They're also not identity terms.

I don't hate anyone based on their identity, but I believe some identities are used ignorantly. This means I am pro contradictory labels, pro mspec monos, pro multigender, pro xeno, pro neoprns.

I am neutral mostly on radqueer stuff because it's a complex issue, for example transrace being used by POC adopted children who were put into white families and felt they had to rebuild(?) or reconnect with their race are obviously fine; a white person claiming they are transitioning to japanese is not. I think there could be better terminology that doesn't end up conflated transitioning and reconnecting though. Again, it's complex.

War shouldn't happen and in the current political climate is a tool of capitalism and imperialism. Be nice to all people. Prison abolition. Harm reduction. Socialism. Pro abortion. Anti censorship. Libertarianism is fucking moronic. Literally "Treat people with kindness and let them do as they wish to their own body." Government as it is is corrupt but more democracy could lead to big governments, high taxes and support for everyone. Adult takes for the adult in the room.

I use the term OEA (organised extreme abuse) instead of RAMCOA and the term ITBC (intentional torture based conditioning) instead of mind control/programming.

ITBC is not about "sleeper agents" or whatever, it's about being severely conditioned with torture to associate trigger with action or face pain.

[choctalksalot]

If Jake is based on archetype of Strong Female Character then I think he should get Evil Woman arc. Let him snap and go bananas. Sburb is his stage and he is gonna became a star, and break fourth wall and if needed all the walls. I just really want Jake to go batshit. And then better but first batshit. And fight with crockertier! Jane because I think it would help them both to have a proper scream match and some stabbing or two.

admission: i have let this ask stew in my drafts for months because i had exams, and also because i needed to fully process everything in this singular paragraph because it threw a wrench in my jello sack processor

so, in short:

thank you for this ask anon holy shit i love getting asks about this stuff i am full of words about it !! that being said

I AM QUESTIONING THE CLASSIFICATION OF HIM AS STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER. I AM SO VERY QUESTIONING IT

that statement triggered a fucking. sleeper agent in my brain because i disagree so hard so so hard, oh my god i'm. okay technically it's a half disagree. sliver of agreement in there but it's for a very specific scenario that I need TIME to explain (which i now have so Buckle Up)

if you want my aabsolute shortest shorty short response to this ask it's yes, i think jake deserves to go batshit insane, i would like nothing more than to see him be a petty deranged bitch. king shit honestly!! But Not In That Way Slash Manner. okay now WORDS

so, we have the idolization/I Know What You Are he has with lara croft. we have all his big talk about being an adventurer, we have fisticuffs and guns and sparring with a bot, but, as many posts before this have pointed out in much more depth than i can attempt to surmise, jake is not that. motherfucker is a coward, avoids conflict like the plague and plays up an oblivious front to dodge responsibility (god i still can't read the jane confession scene without screaming look at that fucking LIAR)!! a defining aspect of jake's character is his continuous lack of agency throughout the comic too, which is a rabbit hole i'm not going down for the sake of my sanity and your patience [:

point is, in the words of a shitton of other people: he's a hapless bimbo archetype, or at least attempts to embody it!!!!

he wants to be a strong female character, makes an idol out of an example of them (lara), but in the end the narrative itself bends backwards to call him pathetic. point and laugh at the moron in the piss coloured underpants. something something, yet another case of lost potential

there are specific circumstances under which jake does hit as a strong female character. that's getting old i'm gonna shorten that to sfc now. big thanks to tony crazyexdirkfriend for this perspective because the one angle where i can read jake as an sfc is from an extremely meta perspective, in reference to how he's built up to be someone with a lot of importance/skill/competence, while in reality his agency is pretty much moot. it's an empty label, all his "strength" is superficial and falls away once you look any deeper than the upper epidermis. that's neat as hell!!!! i don't think that's the take you were going for, but it is an angle i enjoy and appreciate <:

that being said, even with this and any accurate read of jake really, him having an evil woman arc will have to take place in a specific set of circumstances methinks,, like mfer is probably actively performing an insanity act for Some Reason, an angry tired jake is more likely to revert to sopping wet bawling retreat anger than anything else. letting him snap and go bananas will only work if you character arc his ass enough to change a fundamental part of him!!! and a crockertier scream match is more in jane's favour for. y'know all the years of being a vent box for him. which i don't think is accessible on a count of, y'know, Literal Mind Control

i am the no.2 supporter on the Let Jake Be Batshit train (only second because i know at least four people who'd tie for first) but i don't think he'd seek out attention from beyond the 4th wall. because he can't handle the pressure of being perceived. no walls have ever needed to be broken for jake english to be a star - he's always been performing!! for the people around him, for the narrative, to be the oblivious himbo that never meant to do any wrong. the core of jake english and what drives him to extremes has always been to be liked, and to be safe. maybe those two things are the same to him. it gets suffocating, y'know? and when something gets too much, jake does what he's always done: he runs.

so yeah, no, i don't think so. do let him be a catty bitch tho!! he deserves that [:

[auramgold]

"well she's a pedophile" is always used as the gotcha of transmisogyny, like "oh she's a pedophile now you can't defend her from my lynch mob" and first off that's almost always spread without evidence, don't get me wrong

but even if it was correct, i think we've forgotten what the word "pedophile" actually means. it means someone who's attracted to children, which does not inherently mean someone who's actually sexually abused children, and that is a HUGE distinction to make.

the first one, while a problem, is not a unforgivable moral sin if the pedophile in question does not want to hurt any actual children. that's thoughtcrime, thoughtcrime isn't real.

and the stigma that pedophilia is The Worst Thing To Be makes it harder to get actual therapy to help with unwanted attraction like that, which should be, y'know, the goal in restorative justice. the goal in restorative justice isn't Hunt Down All The Bad People For Sport, it's to help people not hurt others, especially if they haven't even hurt anyone yet!

there's literally an entire subclass of OCD (pOCD) of someone getting into such an obsessive death spiral over if they might be a pedophile that it starts destroying their life, and that's not a good sign of a society that can actually handle that well

and if someone drawing weird fucked up art helps them get out those urges in a way that hurts no one except the paper they're drawing it on? that's a good thing, that's a stable healthy coping mechanism, i don't understand why people act like it's morally equivalent to abusing an actual child.

i cannot for the life of me understand why someone would need to do that, but i'm not burdened by those urges, am i? especially considering a lot of people who get these urges are CSA survivors themselves, at a certain point it's the same lens as "drawing fucked up art about your trauma to cope", which i can understand because i very much have done that.

have some fucking empathy, people. make sure there's not a magic sleeper agent kill trigger word that makes you turn it off instantly.

[moe-broey]

Was there a particular moment where the characters of FEH really sunk their claws in for you?

For me personally was the half a body, half a mind page from the silly little side comic (aka where Robin asks Kiran if Alfonse is their other half and they chose to interpret that very literally). The revelation that Alfonse and Kiran’s dynamic switches who has the braincell in the prince/tactician dynamic was eye opening. And then the follow up of Sharena being fucking gobsmacked that local introvert prince managed to S rank Kiran was beautiful 10/10 makes me both happy and sad. And from then on the brain rot has been STRONG. No thoughts head empty only these lil guys.

Oughgh I'VE. BEEN RUMINATING ON THIS.... (which is. Why it took so long for me to respond to LMFAOO)

BUT.... first of all YOUR INTERPRETATION. OF THE "Half a body, half a mind" bit is HUGE. Like you're so right, there is a lot of symbolism there even if it's silly!!! And esppp Sharena's reaction to Alfonse making a close friend, so easily in her eyes... that absolutely would be a sleeper agent thing for me actually. Like. I wouldn't consider it until Much later, and when I did it just never left my mind.

And I think that's the thing!! I've actually been having a lot of trouble, trying to pinpoint exactly Where each took such a strong hold on me LMFAO. I think, because it's this gradual and constant process of taking in information, noticing something Odd, re-examining, re-contextualizing, and gaining new perspective.

It def happened quicker w Alfonse though, cause he's actually much easier to read. Immediately you can tell his words and actions aren't matching up, and through that you can tell his feelings aren't matching his words either. You also see the clear reason Why he's Like That, on. Several different levels.

I think.... the lines of dialogue that always stick with me. His entire level 40 convo. I'm always thinking about it. I'll often revisit it. And, a lot of his lines to or about the summoner: "Please, remain with us, [summoner]?", "Or... is it that reality has been reshaped by my fear of having lost [summoner]?"

BUT, I think. What really got me was actually his Forging Bonds with Dieck. Like at this point I was already in way too deep LMFAO BUT. Dieck's fucking dialogue fucked me up SO much actually

I AM LITERALLY ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT THIS FUCKING DIALOGUE ‼️‼️‼️‼️It REALLY opened my eyes AND put words to something that was Constantly nagging at me. How Alfonse, from the very start, will say one thing, and then. Directly contradict himself. Not because he's disingenuous -- but because he's so split in two.

AND. AUGHHGH!! THAT'S!!!! You think he's so reserved, and he is. But he wears his heart on his sleeve and will talk openly with anyone who will listen. You think he's the cool and collected type, he OFTEN leaves people with that impression. But SO many times he acts rashly, with little regard for himself. He claims, he can't be driven by emotion because those driven by emotion cannot rule. BUT HE. IS. SUCH A PAINFULLY EMOTIONAL CHARACTER. Almost EVERYTHING he does is driven by his emotions -- I absolutely think so much about how he has a bit of a temper on him, and I think about all the little ways he so clearly and deeply loves Sharena, I think about how much of a mess he is over Bruno, I think about just how quickly he warmed up to the summoner despite insisting upon keeping his distance. Hell, you think he's like. This very serious guy. And he is! Aaand then next thing you know he's dug a ditch and he's thrown himself into it and he's covered in mud. AND. THE WILDEST PART OF THAT. Is the Way he does it, the reason Why, it. Tracks. Like yeah. He would do that. That's actually not out of character for him.

(ALSO as a side his Forging Bonds w f!Alear also live in my head rent free -- another instance of, taking a step back and re-evaluating. It was actually so refreshing in a way? You get used to just how warm he is with the summoner, that you forget just how cold he can be too. That's ALSO something I'm so not normal about. The asshole tendencies. The coldness, and the ruthlessness. It's subtle, but There. He does have a harsher side to him.)

AND ALL OF THIS....... still only feels like the tip of the iceberg. But literally I will never shut up about it LMFAOOO I GOTTA. BECAUSE. SHARENA‼️‼️‼️

I think actually I have an easier time pinning down where I started having Thoughts about her. Because, I made the same mistake a lot of charas in-universe make, even Alfonse, himself. Assuming, that just because she's outgoing and friendly, that she has an easier time making friends. When like. Really, it's been present the whole time actually -- from that FEH comic, to the Paralogues featuring Katarina, like. She doesn't. She struggles just as much, if not more.

But I think, the exact point I actually internalized this was in her Forging Bonds w f!Byleth. Like. Those convos REALLY make it clear, so much so I felt stupid for not even seeing that sooner. And, it helped me re-contextualize her level 40 convo also! When I first got that dialogue, I really didn't know what to make of it. LIKE. ABSOLUTELY she's so sweet and I love her. But. I really had no idea what to make of it! Until like. It became clear to me, ohhhhhhhh I. Fell for the front she puts up as a defense mechanism. You can be cheerful and silly and deeply hurt and have just as many interpersonal issues as someone who like. Shows clearer signs of having those issues. Okay! Got it 🫡 SHKAHSJSHJAJ

And then I think that's when I became just deeply unwell about her too LMFAOOOOOOO

[floortoastie]

I watch Danny’s minecraft streams to fall asleep and he said

“I like to cook a bunch of chicken at once so I have more for the next day”

And I like shot up from my slumber like it was a fucking trigger word sleeper agent like!!! That’s me!! He’s literally me!! I cook lots of chicken at once too :D omg I’m literally Danny!

[missr3n3]

hope u all don't mind me rambling for a bit but i am so so emo rn about cut down the altar and i just need to kinda. word vomit for a moment

so i saw the new scrapped catalyst clip and im just. thinking abt how hard cdta!adam fought to hold onto his humanity. him sitting in front of the mirror while his body tried to tear itself apart for the amusement of the Literal Devil n he just would. not. give. in. no matter how much it hurt. no matter how much agony he could've spared himself given all the brutality he goes through in the following chapters. he was going to be Adam and nothing, not even The Devil from The Bible, was going to take that away from him.

AND ALSO. im low-key working on the prequel fic bc this au has an absolute choke-hold on me n will not let me rest until i get all my ideas out about it. n as i'm fleshing out this au version of jonah n adam's backstories im realizing. adam almost had everything he wanted. he found people who genuinely loved him, who saw him as fully human. everything he turned his back on the alternates for was in his reach.

he almost had it but then, between still feeling like he needed to be someone else to deserve love and alt!gabriel n the gang fucking around in his brain, it all slipped away. jonah's family kicked him out. evelin broke up with him. n then he gets the triple threat of vol. 2, 4, n catalyst all happening one after another.

but even though it would've been easier to give it all up for good, he just couldn't. he can't be anyone other than adam murray, and in the end, everyone close to him sees it. jonah, thatcher, sarah, evelin. they all see the real him at last, and see the humanity with in him despite his new monstrous visage.

and that's to say nothing of what the cut down the altar sequel/mystifying oracle crossover has in store, how that's gonna examine the public's reaction to type 6s/sleeper agents and whether or not they should ~truly~ count as human. still rotating that concept on my mental pottery wheel tbh

[sol-shines]

oc alphabet soup: the letter a?

cam im so fuckin sorry that you had to be this person but you've activated my sleeper agent codes. youve said the magic words

so now you all have to hear a thing about AUDRI MOTHERFUCKIN OPILIO

^comm from the almighty @pysics btw. if you even care. you should. commission jun or die by my sword

ANYWAY she's one of my oldest ocs, part of the group of guys ive been yelling about with the one and only @dreaming-of-stories-and-stars for almost 7 years now. so she's literally the most ever. she's Bisexual Girl Jesus. she's an underground bike racer. she's been in cringefail gay love with her best friend for years and hasn't said shit. she is at all times 2.6 seconds away from an emotional breakdown. her love language is probably biting. she's God's Little Blorbo. she's even transgender.

without giving too much away she basically got handpicked by a god to take on the mantle of savior of the multiverse. very much atlas holding up the world momence. so she hasn't had an opportunity to like construct an identity outside her "divine purpose" since she was like mmmmm 8 years old maybe. she's Fucked ! but now she runs with a bunch of other insane space pirates, and she's in love with half of them. it's great. anyway she's a Very powerful magician this bitch has the nuclear launch codes probably. sometimes it pays to be Jesus 2

im aware this is incoherent. im so sorry. but i love her more than anything i can and will talk about her for hours. she contains multitudes she Cannot be condensed. but thank you for beholding her anyway

[alittle-annihilation]

WHEN WE WERE YOUNG • 20 OCT 2024

finally got to do warped 2004 😭 this weekend was beyond incredible and i am so glad i was able to go! acknowledging that wanting a band to keep putting out the same album is Bad, i really did love the concept of celebrating a particular album, especially those that came out at an approximate time period. how many of these were in the same rotation on my fucking ipod shuffle clip in 2007?! i’ve said this before but this era has always been a fave musically to live through initially as an angsty pre/teen and now finally getting to see live as an adult has been such an experience. it really felt like a rare treat

anyway, every year from 2002 to 2012 was shouted out during the say, the number of “who had this on your myspace” or “who ripped it off limewire” was hilarious. i got to see so many bands that i didnt think i’d get the chance to see and even if i hadnt listen to them in literal decades, it was a nice reminder of why i did like it back in the day. even if everything was crap as a teen, the music was always a highlight and i’m glad we got to come together to celebrate that

highlights / thoughts

pierce the veil ft kellin quinn king for a day LIVE 😭😭😭 the way it was on my soccer pre-game playlist. the way i BLOGGED about that song on THIS blog

i always forget simple plan was early emo exposure to me. i had no business listening to no pads no helmets just balls in the year when when i was 7, but i did, and i sure was a kid whose life is a nightmare. i sure was writing lyrics to welcome to my life in my history notebook in 6th grade. like damn those are roots! ANYWAY THEY PLAYED MY ALIEN!!!!

unfortunately unironically the entirety of 3OH!3’s set was So Good. i listened to want so hard late middle school / early high school and it was like a sleeper agent was activated inside of me and i remembered every word perfectly. yes this shit was absolutely cringey as hell to watch, but i still got down

TRAVIS MCCOY OF GYM CLASS HEROS CUPID’S CHOKEHOLD ‼️

i really liked fob’s different background nods to their different ~eras. i would love to see an extended set for these bc the attention to detail was BEAUTIFUL (patricks hat changes, album art rendering, call backs, etc) for just 2 songs per section

but also lets talk about folie a deux. and las vegas. and how the CD was a christmas present for me 2008 when we were there visiting family and how i spent every night in the desert with my walkman listening to that album and hanging on to every word. and how fob played SO MANY FOLIE SONGS!!!!!! including my love headfirst slide. anyway all that said she’s my winona is the ultimate folie/vegas song for me and i would have Died if they dragged her out

also taking a moment to be grateful that they did not bring out brendon urie. like that could have been a reality. i had the thought that it could happen for a 20 dollar nose bleed sitch and did NOT speak that into existence. thank u emo gods

my chemical romance literally puts on a good performance every single time. THE CHILLS

also seeing the moment gerard sits down, looks up, and smiles into the camera (u know what im talking abt) in real time made me cry

it was so interesting seeing the different bands interpretation of “play this album” the ones who faithfully did it front to back by tracklisting. those who changed up the order but stuck to the album. to sneaking a few other crowd favourites in here and there. to just playing what the fuck ever

not band related but i was pretty impressed with accessibility & visibility at the festival. it’s likely i simply wasn’t paying attn at other fests, but so many ADA sections, so many ASL interpreters, kulture city, and lots of water/med tents every few steps. i was glad to see everyone getting to enjoy what has been one of the best music experiences i’ve been to in a while

that said holy fuck my joints, my wrists are still not ok, and im completely sleep deprived. i am feeling 30 babey

bands seen (*denotes full set)

neck deep

mayday parade*

underoath

we the kings

3OH!3*

the story so far

coheed and cambria

cobra starship*

simple plan*

taking back sunday

the starting line

motion city soundtrack*

bayside

pierce the veil

jimmy eat world*

a day to remember

boys like girls*

fall out boy*

my chemical romance*

[qqweebird]

why did cage the elephant write spiderhead about vrisrezi. and also why is eddie vedder by local h the same

[sp-ud]

Results of the Ranboo's other half survey!

[Finally! I kept forgetting about this! Whoops! But it's here now! Yay!]

What do you think is most likely Ranboo's CANONICAL other half?

20% - An Enderman who is just half-white for some reason

17.3% - Dreamon

19.1% - Ghast

0.9% - Axolotl

0.9% - Iron Golem

0.9% - Snow Golem

What theory for Ranboo's other half do you LIKE the most but think is UNLIKELY to be canon?

22% - Dreamon

14.7% - Axolotl

10.1% - Ghast

1.8% - Demon

0.9% - Shulker

What do you think is the FUNNIEST Ranboo's other half theory?

16.5% - An Enderman who is just half-white for some reason

13.8% - Golf Ball

12.8% - Slenderman

0.9% - Rabbit

0.9% - Llama

0.9% - Wolf

Beneath the Readmore is some of the "Other" Answers along with some of the responses to my last question about "Anything else to add?"

What do you think is most likely Ranboo's CANONICAL other half?

"None of the above, something created just for the story"

"ranboo hasn't got a solid idea himself, and its just one of those things that always stays vaguely ambiguous with pieces of evidence pointing to different directions and theories."

"we will never find out cause ranboo decided it’s funnier that way"

"Fucked up Experiment caused him to be *like that*"

What theory for Ranboo's other half do you LIKE the most but think is UNLIKELY to be canon?

"he's just. Other. LITERALLY other. he's some weird red eyed white cryptid"

"Robot"

"I like dragon the most, and I also think it’s likely, so I have nothing to put here :p"

"Uncooked marshmallow"

What do you think is the FUNNIEST Ranboo's other half theory?

"This is Berry Ranboo truther erasure"

"clown. he’s just bad at clown make up and gave up halfway through"

"He accidentally feel in bleach but is too embarrassed to tell anyone because he wants to seem cool"

"you know how if you name a rabbit toast it'll change appearance, and its ai also changes if you name it killer bunny or something along those lines? someone nametagged an enderman as ranboo"

"A white guy. Just a stupidity white guy. So white. Extremally white"

Anything else? [Theres a lot of these]

"SUBSCRIBE TO TECHNOBLADE"

"I like to set my marshmallows on fire when roasting them. I like them charred and crunchy."

"in reality, i got no fuckin clue bro. who knows. maybe hes a catboy, maybe hes just half white guy. maybe hes just an enderman, just looks a lil fucked up. probably gonna tie into the dream shit tho. maybe."

"ÙwÚ"

"Half axolotl ranboo is the best thing to ever happen to society"

"Your bones are delicious"

"i feel like it doesnt make sense for any other mob to be his other half cos like- we see how cc!ranboo puts all this deliberate enderman influence into his character, but hes not doing that with any other mob so like. yeah i think hes just a Very main character type enderman"

"Subscribe to Technoblade"

"but w. where do the horns in the fanart come from"

"you are a funky little tumblr user! thanks for the quiz I’m now reviewing my life choices"

"llama is funnier in the context of the Clarencio death"

"No but like. Hear me out on this. So Ranboo has memory issues, right? So like, what if half of his brain was removed because he died but was brought back by Dream and Dream modified him so he had his Robot side and he also programmed all of Ranboo's old memories and the "lessons" into Ranboo's new computer brain and he just like has a sleeper agent-style switch? I'm never gonna write fic with this as an explanation I just think it's a cool theory."

"i am incredibly homosexual. gay even. i like female"

"I am very tired because I stayed up till 3 am looking for the dumb vod where tubbo and ranboo got married. It took me so long but I have it now and can be happy. I’ve been on an old lore hunt for a while but I forgot that so many people don’t keep records. I am now looking for all of the Manburg Fundy vods. It was one of my favorites storylines."

"It's penis Friday"

"Drink some water bitch"

"U are pogchamp and the world loves you"

"i doubt the fucker will ever tell us"

"He's just a slinky boy"

"i have over a thousand words written in my attempt to figure out why twitter culture is the way it is. send help"

"i legit forgot he was only half enderman for months."

[tigerdrop]

here is a bunch of words about this venom AU b/c i am out of my fucking mind

like ok sorry im about to talk about a venom AU again b/c jesus christ its just frenrey man. the sad, pathetic, cringy sweaty little man with depression and his new best friend, the way-too-powerful alien thing thats always on his back and is always pushing to do things that arent socially acceptable......its the same shit. whatever. am i thinking about that prodromal phase when gordons sweating and heaving and ravenous and trying to eat everything in sight and being jerked around by an alien leaning how to puppet his body? Yes

eating is horny, man. the vore thing is just completing the circuit and closing the loop. his entire fucking physiologys going haywire and his metabolisms in overdrive and eating is always a metaphor for something and i dont know why it shouldnt be a metaphor for being mysteriously, suddenly horny, either. and also its just really hot to see somebody going apeshit on food. Whatever

the dudes who made hannibal get it. food is erotic. food is always about something else

and pulling him around like a puppet especially. LITERALLY leaning how to move gordon around the way he wants to!!! its gotta be just as awkward for the symbiote to learn how to move in a human body as it is for the human to learn how to move in sync with the symbiote. the struggle.........is . its good

hes literally just. a puppet for the symbiote. hes a puppet that can make the symbiotes job a lot easier by playing along and figuring out how to move in sync , but like. hes just getting jerked around effortlessly for the whole fucking movie

and gordons strong enough that he can put up a good fight......but hes not stronger than a fucking alien thats in control of his very muscles and nervous system! lucky for him that he got saddled with a parasite thats developed a real quick fondness for the body that it inhabits or else hed just find himself sharing the same fate as all the other bodies that got colonized and dropped by the wayside

(sigh) and benrey would wanna stick around him b/c hes fun. he reacts good. hes fun to play with. hes easy to bully and cajole into doing what benrey wants, within reason. and unlike mr marvel-mouthpiece-eddie-brock, gordon freeman would fucking delight in getting to chomp on a cop or two. he would relish the opportunity

and like. uhh. that part where venom pins eddie to the wall. Wow

i think it would be. really cool. if uuuhhh if umm uhhh well. like. the symbiote is super strong right. so its basically like having a. uhh. living full body bondage suit that really, really wants to fuck you

if benrey doesnt want him to move then buddy, hes not moving. gordon freeman pinned firmly in place by an amorphous slime monster with sharp, sharp teeth and a lolling tongue that knows, in the most intimate and excruciating detail, just how badly he likes it

literally theres no way gordons not thinking back on so much of this shit later and having the weirdest fucking dreams of his life. i dont even know if he would initially be aware that a lot of this stuff is hitting him in the dick. it feels like a kind of sleeper agent thing

like yeah sure he probably knew he was into bondage. thats not all that weird. but i think it would take a little mental prodding to get him to be like "Oh. benrey did that. to me. and he could probably do it again. if i asked. but im not gonna fucking ask for that"

therein lies the crux of his problem: the symbiote knows literally everything about him. they share the same body and have touched each others minds. benrey Knows

he literally cannot hide a single fucking thing. its plain as day. the only thing stopping benrey from doing anything about it is the fact that gordon wont fucking ask, and more to the point, seems vehemently opposed to the idea of ever acting on it......until suddenly, he isnt

and also its probably really fucking fun to tease him about it. its not like gordons gotta always be consciously aware of the fact that benrey knows Literally Everything About Him. teasing him by cracking jokes about eating him?? weird coincidence, right. ha ha. benrey makes an offhand comment about basically eating him every time they transform and gordon has a psychosexual breakdown bc all his blood leaves his brain

I might be insane

but also i have the very vivid idea of benrey pinning gordon to the wall like that again with the full knowledge that gordons getting off on it, and taunting him to struggle harder b/c its more fun that way. whys he just acting all limp like a ragdoll, huh. (because thats what you normally do when youre being put in bondage! or at least, thats what gordon does! hes not used to the idea of something wanting him to try and struggle b/c its fun to playfight with him, even if its very much just a play fight b/c benreys so much stronger!!!)

look i jsut think his gradual transformation from "normal guy with latent psychosexual issues who is rightly weirded out by killing and blood and things of thast nature" to "problems guy who gets hot in the face when he sees all those teeth and watches benrey chomp on dudes and gets a little hard whenever hes enveloped by his alien bodymate-cum-best friend" is. awesome

the mental journey from "what the fuck is happening this is the most terrifying thing that could ever happen to me. what if i die in here" to "wow this is still anxiety-inducing but im so fucking strong and i can do crazy superhero shit. this is awesome" to "oh no the anxiety is back to an 11 b/c ive started having weird thoughts about it and now im thinking about baseball really hard to try not to get hard"

jesus christ man. gordon stops jerking off entirely b/c he doesnt want the fucking symbiote to see his boner and ask any weird questions but benrey doesnt even care. he just thinks gordons insane for taking so many cold showers. daily fucking slapfighting over the shower knob

he has so much wrong with him but benrey doesnt even CARE. gordon is the only one that cares nearly that much about his weird boner problems and doesnt want benrey to see his dick b/c “what if its weird. what if i make this weird.” meanwhile benrey has been aware of every time gordon has gotten a half chub from benrey transforming. benrey doesnt even think gordons trying to hide it hes doing that bad of a job

gordon doesnt even WANT to have to explain what a stiffy is to this guy!!! he thinks that b/c benreys some kind of alien thing, he wouldnt even know. he wouldnt be familiar with the human boner. but gordon assumes hes gonna have to if he ever pops one so he does everything in his power to neglect his stupid dick. meanwhile benrey absolutely knows how dicks work b/c he was socialized entirely on ps3 multiplayer until he met gordon and you would not believe how much intimate knowledge of the human penis hes acquired by this

(sigh) i think that when gordon realizes he has a weird sentient alien parasite inside of him he would get weird about literally every embarrassing bodily function/necessary display of nudity . and i think he would be bladder shy in front of a brand new audience

i just think. that. he would be freaking out about an alien seeing his dick. and immediately after seeing that benrey is Real and Inside Him for the first time, he would try very, very hard to hold it in so the alien thing doesnt see his dick. progressively antsier.....squirming.......Pacing......gordon gets an alien parasite and decides he can never pee again. ignoring the blatant fact that benrey is little man in his bloodstream and already knows all about his dick

im envisioning this happening shortly before he learns that benrey is In His Head . and also that hes in some pretty serious denial about it a lot of the time

but just b/c gordons ignoring it and pretending like everythings normal (and like HES normal) doesnt mean that either of those things are true. benrey knows exactly whats going through his head. theyre Bonded. and benrey knows that hes a little freak whos got boner problems about this subject specifically. i mean its not like hed even have to read gordons mind to figure that one out, yknow? he canonically cannot fucking stop himself from joking about piss, joking about how much hes been holding it, etc etc. and yknow........benreys just a weird little alien goop with a poor grasp on human social mores. his understanding is that pleasure is something that feels good, so theres no reason why they shouldnt feel good. eating people makes him feel good. being jerked around and controlled makes gordon feel good. whats the problem

and if hes in total control of gordons body......well, maybe the bladder-shyness isnt as bad a problem as gordon thinks. benrey can just control his muscles, yknow? help him out. so he quits freaking the fuck out like a little bitch about how gross and weird this is. (its really not that weird to benrey, okay.) the weirder thing is how neurotic gordons being about the whole thing. and so uhhhh thats how gordon ends up with his skin flushing so badly it makes him dizzy when benrey is just like “okay uh this is stupid can you just deal with it” and puppets him over to the bathroom and makes him. just. do it

also like okay. ping-ponging to another thing here. i have been thinking about the first time gordon actually tries to jerk off after acquiring an Audience

its gotta come up at some point. theres no way it doesnt. having a case of blue balls for that fucking long is probably turning him into the worlds most neurotic little bitch and at some point benrey just asks him point blank "hey. do you ever jerk off" because.....like......he feels what gordon feels for gods sake. hes aware of all the boners gordons been getting and not doing anything about. and "not talking about it" was his way of being polite but now gordons being a nasty deranged little cunt of a man from Dick Too Hard and its getting annoying. and gordons just like "what!!! of course i do, but you, you know what, thats none of your business! im not about to pound my meat with an audience!"

benrey doesnt really get it. gordons horny, he just copped to jerking off on occasion, whats the problem? theyre bros, its cool. he can just, like, play minecraft and not look. gordon thinks this is the stupidest thing hes ever heard. but like......he does miss jacking off. hes a red blooded adult male and its a little harder to pick up girls when he has a flesh eating alien with very poor boundaries sharing his body. so he decides, well, fuck it. hes just negotiating space with a roommate. in a way. its fine. its not that weird

but it is that weird, actually. gordon tries it but he has a really hard time getting it up with the knowledge that hes doing it right next to somebody who isnt even paying attention. it makes him feel like one of those weirdos who jerks off on the bus. benrey notices that hes, like, stopped, and has just kind of tucked his dick back in his underwear and given up. and after some confused discussion and bickering, benreys like, "you uhh......you want a hand?" and that kickstarts gordons heartrate right back up

what im saying, is that, benrey should subsume gordons right hand. envelop it in his own. take control of it. and jerk him off for the first time while panting in his ear and licking his neck and dirty talking the hell out of him. and gordons never came so hard or so fast in his life

and like. this would 100% open the freak floodgates. gordon was trying very hard not to think about it before but now the door is wide open and he cant not think about all the insane things benrey could do to him. WITH him

like. okay. gordon really is just all the way in there . things ive never fully considered before. venoms literally about vore

benrey meat prison. going superhero mode means your cock is grinding on slime the whole fucking time. gordon can be having a minor anxiety meltdown as hes subsumed by slime and can feel benrey going hog wild. bc hes in there......its a bonding thing . and also a vore thing. and a "he cant hide literally any of his reactions so the moment he pops a boner in there benrey is going to know about it" thing

like the logistics are vague but its implied they can see out each others eyes and have a sense of each others bodies. so when benreys fully out gordon can see out his eyes and it kinda feels like the big body is his too, theyre in sync. but i like to think. he can also feel his own body distinctly. he can feel benreys body pressing in around him. he can feel the muscles crush him in place as they move. i think that would be . cool

and like. okay. the thing i dont really care for when it comes to vore is the, like, Everything After. what i think is really cool, and awesome, is the. uh. the mouth stuff. big tongue and teeth and being totally enveloped in something wet and hot and whatever. okay. but i dont actually want the guy to get swallowed okay i think he should just nut and then get spit back out. im not about the internal workings here thats where my boner turns off and i fail to suspend my disbelief

but like. the great thing with venom is that. you dont have to worry about any of that . gordon can just be......totally subsumed by him. that massive alien maw opening wide and licking him all over and enveloping him from the bottom up, nothing but wet-hot pressure wrapping around him . . . sucking at every inch of him and undulating in a way he literally never could have fathomed before. the things that gordon thought about in the back of his mind whenever benrey transformed with him. the things he was convinced benrey wouldnt know about if he thought hard enough about literally anything else while they were out doing their vigilante thing. and then he can nut so hard he goes blind and get spit right back out and full-body cuddled by his symbiote buddy

i think its neat to think about the possible feedback loop from their mental link. like. look i dont know how exactly a symbiote nuts and at this point im too afraid to ask. but like. they dont have naturally occurring dicks. so it seems to me, that the best way to get benrey to nut, here, is for him to get gordon to nut also. the feedback loops

theyre basically one guy, right. gordon-and-benrey. benrey-and-gordon. hes experiencing the world through gordon, feeling what he does, seeing what he sees. benrey having a harder time maintaining a coherent form the more he drives gordon to the edge......hes in gordons head! hes feeling what he feels! and gordons in benreys head, too, seeing himself from the outside......realizing he looks like a total fucked out whore like this and its humiliating and excruciating but all benreys seeing is his person coming apart and theres nothing but extremely positive vibes going on in his head and it makes gordon feel, like.......really hot, actually. hes got that mental image of himself as the pathetic schlubby guy that we all know he kind of is but also hes schlubby in an insanely fuckable way, and benrey knows this. he Knows this

that possessive little throb in the back of his mind b/c benreys looking at him and subsuming his lower half and wrapping around his dick and pushing into him him and all thats on his mind is how this is his person, all his, hes gonna show gordon that he doesnt need other girls anymore. they cant do what he does, because gordon is his and, more to the point, hes gordons

and hes right . literally how is he going to go back to pussy after that. its a metaphor for being gay but also they are literally gay and have insane crazy sex about it. its like symbolic or whatever

anyway i think when benreys fucking him senseless with all those tentacles or whatever gordon should accidentally say “were gonna come” when hes about to nut. b/c its a “we” thing. benreys a symbiote who can only come when gordon does, through their mental link. ok. Bye

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

Bioshock Rebirth Part 1 told in a humorous way

Showed this to @feckinatlas like some of the others. I had this in my draft oh wait. Yeah this is part of my Bioshock Rebirth AU, my reimagining/reboot of the Bioshock franchise. While I don’t wanna write a full on novel because I’m lazy like that. Yet I wanted to make a funny recap. Originally this would of been part 1 and 2. But I decided to keep as 1 right now.

Basically was inspired by stuff like the ByteSize recaps of The Last Of Us. So if you want to know the full story but keep it short. Despite some parts seem long and deep. Yet this is told in a humorous way. Hopefully you enjoy it. Including the night before I am uploading this. I decided to add Booker’s parts because I imagine him as a boss.

Part 1.

Archie: My aircraft was shot down and now it crashed into the ocean near this lighthouse! What the Hell is all this!? Andrew Ryan? An underwater city called Rapture? Weird looking people trying to kill me? Weird diving suit monsters with drills? Little girls holding giant needles? What the Hell is going on down here?

Atlas: Oy lad! My name is Atlas. I’m the leader of the rebellion going against Ryan. He’s an asshole and I made the distress call. We need to take Ryan down and we need your help.

Archie: Okay man who I trust and grow to admire as a father figure who reminds me of myself. Hi two ladies.

Daisy: Hey there I’m Daisy. I’m Atlas’s 2nd in command and....I guess I’m gay with Diane.

Diane: We had a weird history.

Archie: Ah no judgement there. :)

Atlas: Now we need your help rescuing this young girl Ryan has imprisoned. We don’t know why she’s imprisoned but we need to save her.

Later.

Elizabeth: I’m Elizabeth and I want to go Paris! But I’m stuck in this tower. :( But you’re real and that’s so awesome! :D

Archie: Hi Elizabeth! I’m here to rescue you! 

Bluto: Who in the fuck wants her out!?

Archie: AH SHIT HE’S A BIG DIVING SUIT MONSTER! 

*When they get out.*

Elizabeth: Oh my God it’s so great out here!

Archie: Oh crap I’m starting to like her.

*As they explore Rapture more.*

Atlas: Ah crap they’re working like a team! She’s using these small tears to help him out while he shoots stuff!

Elizabeth: I feel like I’m gonna lose my mind and go crazy seeing all this death and unpleasant stuff. :( Especially after meeting that Steinman guy.

Archie: You’re going to be alright. Nothing is gonna hurt you. Don’t become apathetic. We’ll get through this together. :)

Elizabeth: I feel comfortable with you. :)

Atlas: Now since that Big Daddy is dead. Put that Little Sister out of her misery!

Archie: Oh Hell no man! There has to be another way!

Brigid: Do not hurt my little ones. Hello young man and young girl. Use this thing to free them from their torment.

Archie: Ah thanks lady. :)

Atlas: Don’t trust her Arch! She’s responsible for them!

Archie: But she’s trying to help them! :(

Booker: Argh! I work for Ryan’s personal guard! You’re Atlas’s Dog. I’ll send my troopers to get that girl back. Including I’ll wonder if I should capture or kill you!

*After going around unpopulated and some populated parts in Rapture for nearly a week.*

Archie: Ah man Tenenbaum’s safehouse is pretty nice. And these Little Sisters are kids and are great. :) Yet Brigid seems weird around. Especially she looked like I looked familiar. Even Atlas did so too. And sometimes he says these three words sometimes and my head hurts.

Later.

Julie: These are my franken trees.

Archie and Elizabeth: Woah!

Later.

Cohen: I’m Sander Cohen and I’m a weird and disgusting artist guy! 

Archie: Ugh I don’t like him.

Elizabeth: Me neither.

Jasmine: Hi I’m Jasmine and I’m a stripper. :)

Archie: This Jasmine lady is very nice. Glad we were able to rescue her.

Later.

Bluto: Argh! Give me back Elizabeth! I’m trying to protect her! 

Archie: We need to stop the Proto-Daddy! We have to kill him.

Elizabeth: No I can’t kill the closest thing I had to a protective brother.

Archie: I understand that Elizabeth but we have to stop him or he’s gonna cause more death and destruction. I would love if there was another way. Including there’s no turning back if you have to stop him.

Elizabeth: I understand but let me be the one who has to put him down. I’m not going to enjoy this.

*Puts him through a tear that sends him into space as he falls from orbit.*

Bluto: Nooooo! You were my best friend Elizabeth!

Elizabeth: :(

Archie: I’m sorry for your loss. I’m sure he was a great friend. *Hugs her to comfort her.* You’re still a good person.

Booker: Argh! That’s it boy scout let’s fight! Why the Hell aren’t you mutating? Why are you so badass? How are you able to kill so many of my troopers with some what ease! Fight me boy scout! I’ll show you how a real soldier fights!

Archie: Okay gruff old man!

Booker: No you beat me! I just want my daughter back! She’s the only important thing in my life! She deserves better than this. :(

Elizabeth: You’re my father. 

Archie: I’m not gonna kill you because while you’re an asshole. You don’t wanna hurt children and you still love your daughter. Now let’s go Elizabeth. 

Later.

Atlas: Alright Arch we’re close to getting to Ryan. How about you go to Ryan and take him down. Whether you kill him or not. I’ll take care of Tenenbaum and Elizabeth since they trust me a lot. Even though with Tenenbaum she still doesn’t trust me fully.

Archie: Thanks Atlas. You’re a great friend. :) Now excuse me while me and some others go to Ryan. You can take care of the two closest people I’ve known in my life. I’m sure they will be in good hands.

Later.

Archie: It’s over Ryan! 

Ryan: A man chooses. A slave obeys. A broken slave has no purpose. You’re a broken machine who’s entire life was a lie. 

Archie: Bullshit. >:(

Ryan: Would you kindly? Familiar phrase.

Archie: Ah my head hurts AND OH MY GOD ATLAS KEPT USING THAT PHRASE AND I’VE BEEN SEEING WEIRD SHIT LIKE ME WANTING TO KILL YOU!

Ryan: Yes he has and you saw that Fontaine was involved in your process. Now beat me to death with this golf club so you can prove you’re just a slave.

Archie: Hell no old man! >:( *Takes the genetic key and goes back to Atlas.*

Later.

Archie: Atlas how did you know of the WYK plans?

Atlas: I don’t know what you’re talking about boyo? But hey did you know Elizabeth’s lips taste like strawberries? She tried to kiss me you know.

*Atlas gets knocked out by a wrench and Archie finds the two ladies tied up.*

Elizabeth: Oh my God you came back! I found out I was born full of ADAM!

Brigid: Yes he did thank goodness you came back. Atlas terrorized us! 

Archie: I’m here to save you two from Atlas because he’s been lying to me about a lot of stuff. *His radio gets called.* Hello?

Atlas: Code Yellow. >:)

Archie: AHHHHH! I’m slowly dying and it’s more raw now! My life is flashing right before my eyes! 

Elizabeth: Oh no Archie! :(

Brigid: We need help and have to find the stuff to stop him from dying! We owe it to him!

Archie: I’m slowly losing my mind! I’m dying! I’m remembering everything! Andrew Ryan! Frank Fontaine! Yi Suchong! Brigid Tenenbaum! Jasmine Jolene! the Lutece twins! Johnny Topside! What the Hell happened to me!? What is my life!? I’m remembering everyone I met in Rapture! I’m not 23 and actually 5 years old!? My name is Jack Ryan!? What the Hell happened to my life!?

After that he wakes up.

Archie: Brigid knew who I was! I’m angry! >:( She had a hand in ruining my life!

Elizabeth: Archie no! I forgave Brigid! Please don’t hurt her!

Brigid: Ah yes you’re pointing a gun on me that I made sure has no ammo. I think you finally remember everything. :(

Archie: My real name is Jack Ryan. I’m actually 5 years old. I literally was ordered to snap a puppy’s neck by Suchong. Frank was gonna use me to save Elizabeth and kill Ryan! You were one of the people responsible for ruining my life!? And you didn’t tell me when you found out it was me!? I’m not a actual human because of what you, Fontaine, and Suchong did to me! I was supposed to be a slave! What the Hell did Johnny Topside do to me!? >:O

Brigid: Yes I had a hand. But I feel great shame. You were meant to be a sleeper agent. But Johnny discovered you. He couldn’t handle the idea of someone like you going through that. So he kidnapped you, punched Suchong in the face, and he had help reprogramming you. I felt empathy as well. This happened when I realized what I did to the Little Sisters. Me and him changed your life. We gave you the name Archie. While the Lutece twins made sure you were in a place where Fontaine could never find you.

Archie: Johnny did that?

Brigid: Yet due to the experiments done on you. Along with you going through military training. You became stronger than you ever were. Yet it was your own choice to become a soldier.

Archie: Woah.

Brigid: Fontaine used Johnny’s death as propaganda. As if Johnny was the first to rebel against Ryan. In a way he did. But the truth was that all Johnny wanted for you was a normal life. In a way he was practically the real Atlas in a way. Since Atlas was inspired by him. Including some of Johnny’s traits and memories went to you in a different way. He became a slave to give you freedom. And I feel terrible that I couldn’t save him. :( You don’t have to forgive me. 

Archie: I forgive you. ;_; *Breaks down crying as Brigid, Elizabeth, and the Little Sisters hug him. Because before this. He showcased he was more human than he ever was.*

Later.

Archie: We gonna stop Frank! 

Atlas: Oy you fucking mistake! You were the closest thing I had to a son! You were meant to be my Ace In The Hole! Yet you didn’t kill Ryan! You got too close to Mother Goose, the Little Magician, those brats, and anyone else! Johnny Topside ruined everything! Tenenbaum betrayed! So you know what, I’m gonna take the woman you’ve grown to love! She and all the ADAM in this city are gonna make me a lot money! You are gonna die alone because you have everything I didn’t have!

Archie: Johnny Topside was more of a father than you ore Ryan could ever be! >:(

Atlas: That’s it time for the disappointment wrench! >:(

*Hits him with the disappointment wrench.*

Elizabeth: No! ;_;

Atlas: My secret is out! I gonna get the Hell out of this city! Everything’s gone busto!

Archie: We gonna save Elizabeth! He has the genetic key! We need to kill Frank Fontaine!

Daisy: We the remaining rebellion can help you!

Archie: That’s great! But I’m worried we may need some Little Sisters help to free Elizabeth! I don’t want to put them in danger.

Brigid: Don’t worry I’ll trust you and we believe in you. We’ll help however we can.

Later.

Archie: It’s okay Elizabeth! I’m coming! Holy shit Frank is that you!?

Atlas: I’m half transformed by this ADAM and using some power from Elizabeth. Now time to go mano a mano against you.

*Both men just scream battle cries at each other as they fight to the death.*

Atlas: I’m so angry at you! I’m gonna beat you to death! Meaning you can’t save this woman you’ve grown to love! 

*Miranda, Sally, and some Little Sisters free Elizabeth so she can use a tear on him.*

Atlas: Ah crap! 0_0;

*Archie screams a battle cry as he stabs Atlas in the chest with a ADAM syringe and hangs him brutally down a glass ceiling. Resulting in the death of Atlas/Frank Fontaine.*

Archie: Hooray we did it! :)

Elizabeth: Yes we did it! :)

Daisy: Fontaine is dead! Ryan is gone! Let’s make Rapture a place where a community can safely live at. :)

Archie: I’m not alone anymore too. I have a family now! 

*Two months of changing stuff as much as they can. Since there is the scary risk if Rapture is found by the surface.*

During that time, relaxation, relationships developing. Also this.

Jasmine: I’m sorry that I sold you for money. I know you must hate me. 

Archie: I forgive you. :) I understand and you’re my birth mom.

Jasmine: Thank you. ;_; *They just hug each other.* I’m so proud of you.

[major-wren]

That is EXACTLY what I mean thank you @chaoxfix

Let's think about it: mechanical obedience means nothing when your opponent has a genius sidekick that's just as technologically advanced as you. Absolutely any weapon Eggman builds can be turned against him by Tails with a little bit of re-wiring. The solution? Give them emotions that overpower their programming, and make them complex and intense emotions that will always end in loyalty towards you and you alone. He's seen robots who overpowered their programming through love like Gamma, it seems to be a trump card that tops all other control, so why not design it in a way that'll make them love only you? The result: daddy issues. Give them just enough love to get them attached, then just enough harsh words and punishment to make them scared of losing you, to make the love feel rare and like it's something they need to work for.

In the fandom space and in the tags I saw @measlyfurball13 asking: If Eggman seems to purposefully take on a fatherly role with his creations, this makes one wonder, does he have the capacity to be a good dad?

The canon answer: Yes. According to the IDW comics. When he experienced amnesia, he still wanted to improve the world through technology and build eggmanland, but he wasn't obsessed with control, and operated on a much smaller scale. He just actually genuinely improved a village with his technology. He also created Bell the tinkerer, a puppet themed fixit robot who adamantly identifies as eggman's daughter and is broken up to tears over losing what she said was a really good father that she loved dearly.

And now with the introduction of Sage in Sonic Fronteirs, this pushes my thoughts even further. Sage overpowered Eggman's orders too, in the name of protecting him, out of a love for him. Eggman also clearly cared for her too, just as he does for metal sonic, and just as he did at one point for Bell. I do believe he has it in him to be a good dad, but something happened to him that has made him totally obsessive over having control. As we saw from the zombot arc, he fully believes he needs to have absolute control of everyone, and that they need to follow his commands like robots, or else he can't "improve the world." I think this need for control bleeds into his creations, and causes him to put up such high standards and expectations for them, and to behave so cruelly toward them when things don't turn out right (and they rarely do).

@curetapwater also added the thought: Could Eggman be inspired by Gerald's treatment toward his creations?

He seemed to behave in a fatherly way toward his own creation too. Letting Maria build a relationship with Shadow, letting Maria name him, leaving a video-diary for him where he called him son (in the Archie comics). I think this is why Shadow tends to defect to Eggman too (in sonic adventure 2, sonic rivals 2, the Archie comics, and the boom cartoon). He reminds him of Gerald, and so he wants to work with him, but in the end Eggman is a little too far gone. Shadow probably misses his father figure and sees him in Eggman. On the flip side, while archie Shadow sometimes defects to eggman's side, I think IDW Shadow is so aggressive toward Eggman for the same reason. I think seeing Gerald in Eggman really affects him, and causes him to act out and get more impulsive and aggressive. In his mind, he probably just wants Eggman gone once and for all so that he doesn't have to see someone so similar to Gerald committing such atrocious acts of evil.

I'd also like to point out that Gerald literally augmented Shadow's memories and put like,,, sleeper agent trigger phrases in his mind... and somehow put Maria's soul in him and emerl from Sonic battle. Nobody has pointed out how fucked up that is... that's a little fucked up. He edited Shadow's memories to make him believe that Maria wanted him to take revenge on the world, knowing how much he loved Maria and that he shared her soul and therefore the pain of her death. He knew this love would overpower absolutely any other attempt to control him, no one would be able to stop or sedate him unless they said something similar to Maria's last words and caused him to remember what she really wanted. Another case of love seeming to have absolute control, and therefore, if you hold control over their love and use it as a reward and punishment system, then you have absolute control over your weapon. We see the same with Emerl, he's supposed to be loyal to the most powerful person as a weapon, but instead Gerald managed to give him some free will through love or Maria's soul or what tf ever. So them if anyone actually tried to use him as a weapon, he would then self destruct out of his love for others and desire to keep the world safe from himself. In both games it's shown that Eggman went through Gerald's diary and work-notes, so it's very likely he could have learned a thing or two from him.

Also!! Shadow's self titled game where he learns to have a healthy sense of self worth that doesn't depend on anyone else's love is a really good continuation of this whole thing in my opinion. That's the dangers of depending on someone for love. Wether it be a parent, a sibling, a teacher, or even your hero. You have to have love for yourself, that's true freedom.

Eggman's programming

I know this has been mentioned before, but isn't it so weird that Eggman programs emotions and personalities into his robots??

People point out that this is really self destructive on his end because it can lead to some of his creations turning against him after building resentful emotions toward him, like Omega, Gamma, and all of the robots on Scrapnik Island.

My personal headcanon behind his thought process is that not even pure mechanical obedience can rival the loyalty a creation will have to its creator, or "father." It doesn't matter if you reprogram or rewire its entire structure to have its own free will if it's inherent personality, aspirations, and deepest desires will always be to make eggman proud of them, because of the way he's designed and conditioned them. They'll always return to him no matter how many chances you give them, because he's made it so that their biggest desire is to make him proud, even when given free-will or reprogrammed.

We see this most clearly with Metal Sonic, and Sonic will even tease him and take digs at him for it in the comics, telling him to "run home to daddy" (cringe). Clearly, even the characters in-story can see how eggman has raised all of his creations to depend on him for any sense of self worth or purpose. Truly evil, and I think something that's always overlooked when discussing eggman. People say he's not a respectable villain but I think this is really compelling and a unqiue way for a villain to function. Especially because his design is pretty dad-like to begin with, with the mustache, glasses, round body, and bald head lol.

It's so effective, that even when Metal Sonic gains even more power than Eggman through becoming Neo-Metal, he still only wants to take over the world to gift to Eggman. His influence even goes past his creations and gains loyalty from other aspiring inventors, like Dr. Starline.

Most of all, I think it's so effective because it's genuine. He really does love his creations, but simultaneously holds them up to impossible expectations and holds severe disappointment in them when they fail. I mean, think of it. Isn't it awful to design a creation that entirely depends on you for any feeling of worth or purpose, and to make it capable of love and such, only then to neglect and abandon it when it doesn't live up to your impossible standards? Just think of Scrapnik Island and the sheer amount of abandoned bots there.

I think after seeing Mr. Tinker and Belle, it raises the question, does Eggman deep down just want to foster these fatherly connections? To build childrens' toys and fun-rides and kiddy amusement parks, with his helpful heart-filled robot creations? He does often say that he only wants to take over the world in order to "enhance it" with technology, and that people just aren't cooperating. Maybe somewhere down the line his pure intentions got corrupted somehow into this extreme need for absolute control.