#it's literally my fucking sleeper agent word

[congademoman]

oh for sure man let me just

[raskies456]

literally just looking at various potential research labs for grad school and my brain has the audacity to give me the “fucking up the protein purification in front of everyone so badly they all think I’m an idiot” nightmare again

[clockwork-carstairs]

while also being acutely aware that your behaviour has, outwardly, been dodgy and unexplainable up to this point and YOU know why, and you know what happened to you, but you can't really explain it to anyone because how could they understand? and also because you don't want them to pity you, but you know how it looks, and you run after her anyway, because you are miserable and you need to tell her how you feel, and you see her with your best friend, both looking happier than you've seen either of them look in a long, long time and you wonder if coming here really was the right decision after all

Some of you have never married a girl you thought you didn't love to protect her reputation then realized you were actually always madly in love with her but she had run off to Paris with your best friend who was also in love with her and your dad didn't let you go to Paris because your little sister had run off to bring back from the dead her ghost boyfriend with the help of a crazy-looking immortal purple-eyed man and it shows.

[cozmic-ash]

I'm curious how you reconcile being christian and in your own words believe in intelligent design but are critical of the nuclear family and queer. like....

1 Corinthians 11: "But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God" "Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God." [.....]

"For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head."

Genesis 3:16 To the woman He said: "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you."

1 Timothy 2:11-15 Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.

1 Corinthians 14:34 Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says.

it's fine if you ignore the parts you don't like. too. like most christians do that. that's how we have so many types of protestant.

i cannot feel like it matters if I personally think god loves queers because millions of people were and are being killed in the name of jesus for being queer or existing not to the taste of christians. I really do not think me or my feelings are that important. and god never stopped or meaningfully punished the people who committed acts of genocide and chattel slavery in his name. growing up in the bible belt I had 3-5 homeless friends at any given time because "good loving" christians would rather make their 15 year old live on the street for being LGBT. and god did not save them or punish their parents. I watched kids my age die after being thrown out in the name of jesus. i can't watch these things happen and then go "oh well but I personally think jesus is transgender and the Bible was written wrong" and the harm goes away......

Hi! :)

Short answer: I no longer believe in Biblical infallibility (where I used to, when I was conservative/centrist)

Long answer (very very long holy shit lol sorry, asking me about theology and stuff is like awakening a sleeper agent, I love this shit):

I know so much more about theology, and church history, and exegesis/eisegesis, and Biblical genre, and historical context, and the construction (and numerous (mis)translations) of the Bible than I used to, and ofc I'm not a theologian, nor am I an expert by any means (although theology is absolutely one of my Special Interests lol), but for me personally the things that are historically, factually, provably true about the Bible (IE, that certain books were chosen by human beings as being canonical vs noncanonical and that it didn't just Appear one day fully-formed (I will never forget one of my theology professors in college bemoaning the fact that Revelations was canonized lmao), and that the translation of it into English has been, uh, yknow. Fucking Bad, to use the understatement of the fucking century. among other things) are impossible to reconcile with the idea of Biblical infallibility (Biblical infallibility is honestly a pretty recent concept anyway, in the grand scheme of church history)

And like, when you no longer believe that Every Word Of The Bible Is God-Breathed And Written For Us In The Present Time To Always Take Literally And Abide By And Obey 100% Of The Time, etc, it's really easy to deconstruct your entire belief system lol

what also contributed was discovering liberation theology, and queer theology, and Christian anarchism, and reading/listening to people way smarter and more informed about this shit than me absolutely obliterate conservative/fundamental/evangelical theology, and connecting with people who are actually passionate about enacting/embodying the social justice of Jesus Christ vs vapid, shallow, incurious fundamentalists who cling to the status quo bc it benefits them and who deepthroat conservative clown shoes bc the Christofascism we're dealing with rn justifies their hatred and bigotry of people who threaten that status quo

but I digress lol

basically I reconcile being a Christian with my other beliefs partly BECAUSE of becoming more theologically literate, which includes understanding the core message of Jesus Christ as being about liberation (especially of the oppressed), as well as the condemnation of the rich and powerful; understanding that we are called to manifest the kingdom of Heaven (IE actively attempt to live out the message of Jesus Christ, and if one believes that message to be about liberation of the marginalized, condemnation of the powerful, dismantling of oppressive systems, etc..........); no longer believing in Biblical infallibility bc it is Literally Impossible and thus understanding that Scripture is really just a collection of records (including laws), stories, poems, songs, mythology, etc, and that even the bits we are specifically told to obey have not necessarily been translated accurately or can be taken 1:1 from the specific historical context they were written in, AND/OR who cares lol, I no longer believe in hell even if I hope people like Trump and his ilk go there somehow

(all of this isn't to say that I get my morals FROM my religion (I don't, despite that it may seem like it from what I'm writing lol), or that one must be religious to have morals, bc I do not believe that at all, I'm just attempting to explain how my own political and spiritual beliefs have ended up aligning partly because of, and in tandem with, each other. but ofc that won't be true of everybody or even most people, I imagine)

(btw a fun thought experiment to pose to conservative/fundamentalist Christian family members/acquaintances/etc is to frame things in the context of the Kingdom of God -- eg, 'I just don't think cops/punitive justice will be a thing in the Kingdom of God', or 'when I think of what Heaven will be like, I don't believe the military industrial complex fits in anywhere, based on how it's described in scripture', ('... and thus I don't believe we as Christians should condone those things, since we are meant to manifest the Kingdom on Earth'), stuff like that. regardless of what YOU believe about Heaven/whether it exists/will exist/etc, fundamentalists do, in a very specific way, and the reactions to this type of logic vs 'but the Bible says [x] about [y]' tend to be pretty interesting)

as for the second half of your message, about queer people and Christianity, I agree!!!!! Christianity is really fucking gross in a myriad of ways, and has done heinously evil things all throughout history and in the present. I don't blame anyone AT ALL for distancing themselves from it or straight-up despising it. tons of people are incredibly suspicious of every Christian they meet, even the leftist ones like me, and I fuckin! understand! I get it!!! I'm not about to pull a No True Scotsman and/or try to explain away why their suspicion/hatred is misplaced, bc it's not, it's 10000% fucking justified!!! people who are mistrustful of me just bc I'm a Christian are absolutely right to be, given Christianity's incredibly negative impact on the world!!!

(and ofc one can then ask 'why do you even still associate with Christianity at that point', and I say that I'm really just using the term that best describes my general spiritual beliefs, and to use another term would feel disingenuous to me)

I don't really have anything profound to say about this point other than..... yeah! Christianity fucking sucks! I'd like to see it change! I'd like to HELP it change! but I also understand people who think it's fundamentally rotten to the core! idk! sorry I probably seem very wishy-washy about this lol but it's really how I feel!

anyway with regards specifically to intelligent design: like I said in the comments of that post out there somewhere yonder where I assume you found me, I really mean it in the loosest possible definition. SomeThing (God???) created SOMETHING at some point and somehow in the goop through evolution and adaptation and dumb luck, we got here. lmao like this point is hard for me to articulate but I've seen it described by people much smarter and more eloquent than me so I can try to find one of those, maybe, if anyone's actually interested

being critical of the nuclear family: tons of major male figures in the Bible have a shitton of wives, distant relatives all live with each other in a lot of the stories, Jesus Christ The Central Figure Of The Whole Religion never married or had children (apparently) and famously hung out with roughly a dozen random folks unrelated to him (omg found family iconnnn), and the early church was pretty communal. but my being critical of the nuclear family really has nothing to do with any of that LMAO, that's entirely divorced from my beliefs as a Christian and really has everything to do with the fact that here in Real Life As We Are Living It the concept of the nuclear family has materially contributed to fucking shit up for everybody in a big way, and the abolition of it would materially benefit everybody in a big way

as for Jesus being trans: idk, if we was born of a virgin and has no biological father, he must've had some interesting chromosomes!!!

(ofc this is interpreting the (English version of the) story 100% literally, which, again.............. I do not lol)

and if God made humans in Their image, and humans can fall anywhere on a vast spectrum of sexual characteristics and gender presentation and etc, God therefore MUST be genderqueer/genderfluid/genderdiverse/whatever word you'd like to use to describe it. right? like even if you boil it down to the fundamentalist 'gender and sex are the same and there are only two, male and female', God must encapsulate female because female was also created in the image of God, ergo even if one insists sex/gender is the same and also binary, God still MUST be genderqueer/genderfluid/genderdiverse/etc. no matter how that cookie crumbles

(ofc there are also feminine analogies made to God in the Bible, and you also have Sophia/the wisdom/word of God which is feminine, but I've already digressed enough)

ANYWAY sorry for the long-as-fuck answer, hopefully my thoughts all make sense. it's almost 5am, I haven't slept yet, and I'm not a particularly eloquent person in the first place. but if you (or anyone else) wants/needs more clarification from me on something, or have additional thoughts or whatever, def feel free to say something, I really enjoy talking about this stuff with people who approach it in good faith (no pun intended lol)

[blindbatalex]

I hung out with @k-ky all day and she literally activated the sleeper carraville agent that lives inside my brain at all times. I really and truly do not have time to start on a whole new WIP right now, so please enjoy this little 1k teaser in the meanwhile.

By the time Jamie parked the car and trudged to the house, the front door was already open with Gary looming behind.  Between the dusk falling quietly outside and the hallway light he had not bothered to turn on, the way he would not meet Jamie’s eyes, he resembled a ghost.  Jamie ignored the raw spot the thought touched in his chest—the still too fresh panic a call from the hospital saying that your friend collapsed tends to inspire.

“Traffic was mad.”  He chuckled as he walked in.  It sounded strained and echoed ominously in Gary’s minimalist, unpleasant house.  “I should have honestly taken the train.”

Honestly, if Gary had died and come back as a ghost, he would be a poltergeist.  An annoying, self-righteous, argumentative poltergeist that drives property values down by his sheer potential to drive any people unfortunate enough to buy the house up the wall.  Neither did he bother to so much as crane his neck to look at Jamie as he led them into the bowels of the house.

“Thought you’d changed your mind.”

Jamie rolled his eyes.  “Yeah, well, it was a close thing,” he huffed, and regretted it instantly when Gary’s step faltered.  It was a fucking joke.  After everything they have been through, did he, could he think–

And while he meant no disrespect to the witches, Jamie struggled to understand why they had to drag him into the curse they rightfully wanted to cast upon Gary.  Bloody hell.  “But if you died, who would I rib after every time United bottle yet another game?”

With that they reached the living room.  Gary sat down on the sofa and for the first time since Jamie came in, deigned to meet his eyes.  It wasn’t just the light, he definitely looked haggard.  His ugly face pale and with deep bruises under his eyes.  He wasn’t happy either, judging by the thin line of his mouth.

If anything I am shocked that it took you this long to get yourself cursed, the way you carry on, was what Jamie wanted to say but someone needed to be the adult in the room so he held his tongue, choosing to plop himself down on the sofa next to Gary instead.  He wrapped a firm arm around Gary’s shoulder and popped his feet on the coffee table.

“Get your feet down,” was all the thanks Gary could be bothered to give, alongside a vicious poke at his ankle with his big toe.

“No, you get your feet up.”

“I don’t know how you live in Bootle, but we for one have standards here–”

“No, you idiot, we ought to maximise the surface area, innit?”

“You mean–?”

“Press our legs together, yeah.”

Whatever little colour there was in Gary’s face drained at Jamie’s words.  It was daft—it was so mind-bogglingly daft that Jamie had no words for it—but then again, they were ex-footballers for God’s sake.  They had spent 30-odd years watching their teammates strut around naked in the showers, getting pulled into hugs and shoving and, in Gary’s case, cuddling up with Beckham to watch telly.  Sure the two of them did not hug, and Jamie did not cuddle with blokes, but given they were where they were, neither was there any reason for—this.  To act like petulant children.  Or prisoners on death row.

Jamie glared at him, withdrawing his arm.

“I’m sorry, do you want to die?”

Not really, but I want to cuddle with you even less, the dark look that crossed Gary’s face seemed to say. 

The git. He just had to be so stubborn about everything, make life as difficult as possible for whoever was trying to give him a hand.

Jamie closed his eyes, breathing through his nose to try and get a lid on the anger he felt burning in every cell of his body.  Honestly, who in their right mind would pick an argument for example with a coven of witches on the definition of what constituted witchcraft in the first place?  

But when he explained the curse, and what seemed to keep Gary alive, his mum had smiled and said– he is lucky to have a friend like you then, isn’t he?  And Beckham, who for some reason felt he had the right to give Jamie a call, let alone to order him around, had said– cut him some slack will you, it’s a bit awkward for him.  And yeah, if Jamie put himself in Gary’s shoes, he could see why having to–

“Look,” he said through gritted teeth, his eyes still shut.  “I don’t like this either but you are my friend and I happen to care about you.  You scared the hell out of me, Gary.  And if this is what we have to do to manage until we find a way to break the curse, I’d–” His voice betrayed him, crushed under the weight of a singular truth.  Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and looked at Gary.  “I’d do anything, alright?  And I think you’d do the same for me, if our places were swapped.  So.”

Gary nodded, very faintly.  Is it so awful, Jamie wondered, having to cuddle with me that you made me say all of that out loud?  Even at the hospital, when he was quite out of it, he had tried to protest, to push him away.  Said, I can’t.  

“Take off your shoes.”

Cut him some slack.  Yeah.

Jamie did as he was told.  Besides, for one of the few times in his life, he wasn’t sure he had any more words in him left.  Gary was already taking off his own.  

When he was done he put his feet up on the coffee table and Jamie followed suit, shifting closer towards him to bring their bodies flush against one another.  With one hand he turned the telly on while the other arm he wrapped around Gary’s shoulder again.  Gary for his part even made a tiny effort to lean into the touch this time, whether from guilt or self-preservation, Jamie could not tell.

All these years they’d known each other—and Jamie could count the number of times they hugged on one hand.  In Valencia, after that defeat, once.  Once when Jamie had been hammered out of his mind in London—though that was more Gary taking on his weight as he half-carried Jamie back to the hotel than anything else.  He’d been warm beside him then, too, like he was now, strong, a little soft, just—good.  

The two of them fit.  There was no use thinking about that.  They certainly did not fit in this way.  He could smell Gary’s aftershave, feel his shoulders rise and fall with each breath.  It felt awful--a force threatening to rip apart the walls of his cells.

No wonder, he thought, no fucking wonder.

Next time, he would make sure to get laid before coming over, so his body would not mistake affection, at once mechanical and friendly, for genuine desire.

For Gary N.eville?

Come on.

[pl4yingcards]

You said quirkyduo roleplay and I sleeper agent activated. No one talks about them they’re my Roman Empire. If you guys are comfortable can you info dump this to me /nf

OH MY GODS YES. YES. HI. I LOVE EXCUSES TO TALK ABOUT THIS RP AHGJK

(also holy fuck hi hello??? one of my favourite dsmp bloggers in my inbox whaT okay be cool be cool be chill)

ahem

so. so. so. right. so

(i'm sorry in advance for how long this ended up ToT i got excited)

this rp takes place in mooooostly canon dsmp, not long after Ranboo perished

in this instance, i play tubbo (i also play quackity dream and yogurt but they're not RELEVANT so we dont need to worry about them)

we've only managed to get one solid quirkyduo scene in thus far so i'll ramblke about that, but i also have our Plans that i can ramble about (i'll intersperse some screenshots of them too!)

so Revivebur is wandering the fuck around las nevadas, as one does, lurking and being a general fucking menace, as one does. enter Revivebur into the Tubburger joint

Tubbo tries really very hard actually to ignore him because "prime damnit i actually do need to talk to him but i dont WANNA" but eventually realizes this place is dead enough that he is GOing to have to

at this point, Wilbur doesn't, uh. he doesn't actually know that Ranboo is dead-

he's been busy carting children around to see Phil and trying to avoid his problems (Quackity) and everyone else is trying very hard to avoid him because he tends to bring problems wherever he goes, so he's not managed to catch wind of this news just yet

Tubbo, of course, is grieving. he's grieving hard. he doesn't really want to talk to his old boss or his husband's old.. boss, or whatever Wilbur had been to them. nor does he want to think about Ranboo right now. I mean, he's literally working to avoid thinking, c'mon Wilbur why do you have to ruin his plans like this

well, shit. Tubbo, you really are awful at hiding things. at least, you're awful at hiding this thing. now Wilbur KNOWs he is AWARE something is wrong, now you gotta talk about it

well. hm. now that's out of the bag, huh. good job, tubbo, look at you talking about your shit. great job keeping a cool head. there's absolutely nothing concerning about your demeanour right now

oh, did i ever mention what it actually is that tubbo needs to talk to wilbur about? we'll come back to that. you (the reader) can find out whenever wilbur does!

so the information is out now that ranboo is Fucking Dead, great! how does Wilbur react?

"i'm on the clock" is SUCH an excuse that he pulled out of his ass to avoid listening to wilbur. tubbo so does not want to talk to this guy right now. he's dodging the conversation SO hard

gods. oh my GODS am i normal about this section. tubbo listening so immediately to wilbur after all this time. all it took was the barest hint of the tone his old general used to take, and... obeying orders like the soldier he never stopped being

oh. a few things that are proooobably worth mentioning and may be confusing you (the reader)

my headcanons of tubbo are very involved in this rp, hence the swappage between he/him and they/them, because in this instance they are a he/they lad. ALSO about tubbo, he has a slight stutter in this portrayal due to. uh. nerve damage or something from the explosions. i haven't fleshed it out super far but yeah he does canonically have fine motor issues and also a stutter due to That

also, Wilbur got shot. long story, but the injury that's passively mentioned a few times in these screenshots is. that. he's healing fine, he'll be fine, but that did happen

prime above i need sleep. ANYWAY. back to the rambling!

two things. one: OW. i hurt my own emotions with this one. "the world doesn't stop for one man. even if tubbo's world did" hnhhhnhn yep im fine im good im normal about beeduo

alsoooo tubbo taking that passive wording? he KNOWS ranboo was killed. he knows it wasn't an accident. he's just not saying it "that Ranboo had been- ahem. Had died. That's it." AVOIDANCE. AVOIDING. AVOIDINGGGGG

the screenshots are gonna get a tiiiiiny bit less frequent from here on out because if i don't stop screenshotting literally Everything we're never going to get anywhere. there's still so much more Scene to get through before i'm done rambling about this

(however, if you (the reader) or anyone really would like to see the actual full scene without being cut up like it is for this post, i can see about posting full screenshots of it)

so, Wilbur does a little bit of pressing here to try to get Tubbo to Talk About His Issues. this doesn't... really work. he asks why the fuck Tubbo isn't on grief leave if he's grieving, Tubbo dodges the question, and he in fact dodges the question SO hard that he gets back to the original point, which is Michael

oh yeah, Michael is VERY relevant to this scene, did i mention that? yeah :D

gods im so normal about this duo. MOVING ON

Wilbur ends up Deciding that Tubbo is done working for tonight whether he likes it or not. a few threats later, they're in the back of the restaurant so Tubbo can close up shop properly

so, they go to the back of the restaurant, and Tubbo goes about closing up shop. cleaning the machines, etc etc

we do have a briiiiief mention of Quackity's.... cannibalism... thing.... but it gets glossed over pretty quickly because Tubbo doesn't actually know much about that. if he actually doesn't know he can't answer Wilbur's questions

so the question still stands : why does Tubbo need to talk to Wilbur?

well, the answer to that is that Wilbur knows piglins. his brother is a piglin, i mean, i would certainly hope he knows piglins

so Tubbo has questions. because damn it, he is not going to be a shitty parent to his son, not after he just lost a father, not after they just lost a third of their family. he'll be damned if he doesn't learn how to be a good parent to this boy. he's been trying his best, yeah, but fuuuuck this whole parenting thing is hard. especially because he is literally 17

did i mention that Tubbo is still a child?

my partner is now bullying me as i write this post for how long this post is getting

oh prime it's over 1000 words. okay. i should wrap this up. he's right to be bullying me

ANYWAY. Tubbo has questions. Wilbur also has questions, actually

ah. and then we get to this

Tubbo is fucking TIRED, dude. also, Wilbur figured out that Ranboo was Killed and didn't just Die. so much for hiding that, good job Tubbo

but yeah

Wilbur asks a couple questions about Michael, his habits, all that jazz. Tubbo answers them and also has a mini crisis about terminology ("zombie" is kiiiiinda an outdated term in this lore. its more of a curse? Tubbo has a Moment (haha tubbo moment) about if its a slur. its not)

eventually, they end up deciding that it would be best for Wilbur to come visit Tubbo and Michael for a few days, get a feel for Michael's mannerisms and learn how Tubbo has been parenting so he can give some pointers

:(

we're LEARNING. TUBBO IS LEARNING. he's actually very excited about this and by the way he has been bopping Michael so much ever since learning this. he didn't KNOW, man

the scene doesn't actually have that much else for me to ramble about? they plan properly for Wilbur to visit, and... now we're waiting!

unfortunately this is the only actual scene i've got to ramble at you about. Wilbur has been busy doing whatever Wilbur does, and Tubbo is... actually, Tubbo's in the prison right now-

that's a long story. that would be another post if we got into that one. he's FINE he's not imprisoned, he's visiting, but. yknow

but yeah!!!! that's my quirkyduo nonsense, i'm so sorry for how long this post got dear gods. hopefully you got your fill of infodumping though! i'm almost always happy to ramble about this roleplay honestly, so if there are anymore questions PLEASE feel free to send em my way, i love talking about my writing and most of my writing atp is for this roleplay

thank you for the ask :D

i hope this response was even remotely coherent, i've read this scene so many times i'm not actually sure how easy or difficult this was to follow

[ethan-acfan]

Daniel Cross Anon here! I saw your answer. Good luck!

I've finally returned from camp and finished my testing so I'm here to info dump on Daniel Cross

first, a lot of the basic info that you might not find out from just the game is that he was part of the inner sanctum when he died. He was a master templar blah blah blah, anyway, here are all my theories about him

So in the 2nd comic, the fall, we see the Daniel was found on the street as a kid by a couple driving by, but in the one page we see on that, he is speaking Russian by that point and also severely bruised and beaten (busted lip, black eyes, bruises over his chest, legs, and arms etc) and the only reason we can see the bruises on his body is because he is in nothing but his underwear during autumn. So, my theory is that he had been raised as a very young child by the templars, either they had his parents killed after they realized his ancestor was Nikolai Orelov, or they got him out of the foster system and that was just a coincidence. Also, it's canon in the game that part of the templar brainwashing was them forcing him into the animus, so maybe he was being forced to relive his ancestor's life and that would explain him speaking Russian, but that also implies the Templars had the animus for a lot longer than said in the game

Now a bit of focus on that last part, now the animus was in production for a long time, but it probably hadn't become stable until recently, meaning that the templars probably forced Daniel, who was a CHILD at the time, into an unstable machine that horrendously fucked up his mental state. So badly to the point that when he was a fully grown adult and hadn't been in contact with the templars in years, he had gotten drunk at a bar and had a severe flash back so bad he lost it and started swinging a knife around screaming about the templars. All this to say that the proto-version of the animus they shoved him in fucked up his brain so badly that he was still having bleeding effects well into being an adult after years of not having access to the animus. He had been diagnosed as schizophrenic and was on medication, but the hallucinations were still terrible, enough so that on the next page, someone tries to grab him and he knocks them all out easily and it's one of my favorite panel's in this comic. But anyway, later on in the comic, he throws away his medicine and then has suck a sever bleeding effect, after just hours of not being on his meds, that he punched the cell leader in the face and ran out of his apartment, fully believing he was his ancestor going after some isu staff and then promptly passes out in Hannah's arms

Anyway, you know how he was a sleeper agent, yeah that shit AFFECTED him. In this comic he said that "it feels like there's something coiled deep inside me like a snake and it's waiting to get out." So I also believe that even though his sleeper agent side wasn't activated, it was still part of his instinct's, which makes sense why he immediately asked to see the mentor, before he even knew what was really going on. Like in the comic, he asked where he was and if he could speak to the manager which is fucking insane. And what's even funnier is a few years after his vision, he goes on a quest to find the mentor (because the voices told him to) and he ends up cleaning up his life and growing his hair out which was the worst thing he could do because it turned into a bleach blond bob that literally haunts me in my dreams but I digress. Then he gets kidnapped by the assassins brought to the mentor, and then the mentor gives him a hidden blade and accidently triggers his sleeper agent side and then gets killed by him, which his trigger words, funnily enough are, "You're very special" He has a whole breakdown, returns to abstergo and finally cuts his fucking hair oh thank god (I will add a picture at the end so you can see how bad it is, anyway more info dumping)

Since he knew where all of the assassin hideouts were since he had traveled to them all trying to find the mentor, he was the best asset for the templars and is why he was so efficient as a templar. But ofc the assassins knew this, so they started evacuating all of their facilities, except Hannah chose to stay behind and he killed her. He then went on to be the one to capture Desmond Miles, which considering Desmond didn't recognize him immediately, that implies that Cross was so good and so terrifying that he was able to get into Desmond's apartment, and then proceed to knock him out and bring him to abstergo without Desmond ever seeing him or waking up, which is fucking terrifying

Anyway, they key points from this long wall of text is that, 1. The templars put Daniel in an animus that was not ready which resulted in him having permeant bleeding effects for the rest of his life. 2. Daniel cross had a long hair bleach blond bob phase and it should be talked about more. 3. he was the one to capture Desmond Miles and bring him to Abstergo

Also, Karen!Daniel cross:

[choctalksalot]

If Jake is based on archetype of Strong Female Character then I think he should get Evil Woman arc. Let him snap and go bananas. Sburb is his stage and he is gonna became a star, and break fourth wall and if needed all the walls. I just really want Jake to go batshit. And then better but first batshit. And fight with crockertier! Jane because I think it would help them both to have a proper scream match and some stabbing or two.

admission: i have let this ask stew in my drafts for months because i had exams, and also because i needed to fully process everything in this singular paragraph because it threw a wrench in my jello sack processor

so, in short:

thank you for this ask anon holy shit i love getting asks about this stuff i am full of words about it !! that being said

I AM QUESTIONING THE CLASSIFICATION OF HIM AS STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER. I AM SO VERY QUESTIONING IT

that statement triggered a fucking. sleeper agent in my brain because i disagree so hard so so hard, oh my god i'm. okay technically it's a half disagree. sliver of agreement in there but it's for a very specific scenario that I need TIME to explain (which i now have so Buckle Up)

if you want my aabsolute shortest shorty short response to this ask it's yes, i think jake deserves to go batshit insane, i would like nothing more than to see him be a petty deranged bitch. king shit honestly!! But Not In That Way Slash Manner. okay now WORDS

so, we have the idolization/I Know What You Are he has with lara croft. we have all his big talk about being an adventurer, we have fisticuffs and guns and sparring with a bot, but, as many posts before this have pointed out in much more depth than i can attempt to surmise, jake is not that. motherfucker is a coward, avoids conflict like the plague and plays up an oblivious front to dodge responsibility (god i still can't read the jane confession scene without screaming look at that fucking LIAR)!! a defining aspect of jake's character is his continuous lack of agency throughout the comic too, which is a rabbit hole i'm not going down for the sake of my sanity and your patience [:

point is, in the words of a shitton of other people: he's a hapless bimbo archetype, or at least attempts to embody it!!!!

he wants to be a strong female character, makes an idol out of an example of them (lara), but in the end the narrative itself bends backwards to call him pathetic. point and laugh at the moron in the piss coloured underpants. something something, yet another case of lost potential

there are specific circumstances under which jake does hit as a strong female character. that's getting old i'm gonna shorten that to sfc now. big thanks to tony crazyexdirkfriend for this perspective because the one angle where i can read jake as an sfc is from an extremely meta perspective, in reference to how he's built up to be someone with a lot of importance/skill/competence, while in reality his agency is pretty much moot. it's an empty label, all his "strength" is superficial and falls away once you look any deeper than the upper epidermis. that's neat as hell!!!! i don't think that's the take you were going for, but it is an angle i enjoy and appreciate <:

that being said, even with this and any accurate read of jake really, him having an evil woman arc will have to take place in a specific set of circumstances methinks,, like mfer is probably actively performing an insanity act for Some Reason, an angry tired jake is more likely to revert to sopping wet bawling retreat anger than anything else. letting him snap and go bananas will only work if you character arc his ass enough to change a fundamental part of him!!! and a crockertier scream match is more in jane's favour for. y'know all the years of being a vent box for him. which i don't think is accessible on a count of, y'know, Literal Mind Control

i am the no.2 supporter on the Let Jake Be Batshit train (only second because i know at least four people who'd tie for first) but i don't think he'd seek out attention from beyond the 4th wall. because he can't handle the pressure of being perceived. no walls have ever needed to be broken for jake english to be a star - he's always been performing!! for the people around him, for the narrative, to be the oblivious himbo that never meant to do any wrong. the core of jake english and what drives him to extremes has always been to be liked, and to be safe. maybe those two things are the same to him. it gets suffocating, y'know? and when something gets too much, jake does what he's always done: he runs.

so yeah, no, i don't think so. do let him be a catty bitch tho!! he deserves that [:

[auramgold]

"well she's a pedophile" is always used as the gotcha of transmisogyny, like "oh she's a pedophile now you can't defend her from my lynch mob" and first off that's almost always spread without evidence, don't get me wrong

but even if it was correct, i think we've forgotten what the word "pedophile" actually means. it means someone who's attracted to children, which does not inherently mean someone who's actually sexually abused children, and that is a HUGE distinction to make.

the first one, while a problem, is not a unforgivable moral sin if the pedophile in question does not want to hurt any actual children. that's thoughtcrime, thoughtcrime isn't real.

and the stigma that pedophilia is The Worst Thing To Be makes it harder to get actual therapy to help with unwanted attraction like that, which should be, y'know, the goal in restorative justice. the goal in restorative justice isn't Hunt Down All The Bad People For Sport, it's to help people not hurt others, especially if they haven't even hurt anyone yet!

there's literally an entire subclass of OCD (pOCD) of someone getting into such an obsessive death spiral over if they might be a pedophile that it starts destroying their life, and that's not a good sign of a society that can actually handle that well

and if someone drawing weird fucked up art helps them get out those urges in a way that hurts no one except the paper they're drawing it on? that's a good thing, that's a stable healthy coping mechanism, i don't understand why people act like it's morally equivalent to abusing an actual child.

i cannot for the life of me understand why someone would need to do that, but i'm not burdened by those urges, am i? especially considering a lot of people who get these urges are CSA survivors themselves, at a certain point it's the same lens as "drawing fucked up art about your trauma to cope", which i can understand because i very much have done that.

have some fucking empathy, people. make sure there's not a magic sleeper agent kill trigger word that makes you turn it off instantly.

[moe-broey]

Was there a particular moment where the characters of FEH really sunk their claws in for you?

For me personally was the half a body, half a mind page from the silly little side comic (aka where Robin asks Kiran if Alfonse is their other half and they chose to interpret that very literally). The revelation that Alfonse and Kiran’s dynamic switches who has the braincell in the prince/tactician dynamic was eye opening. And then the follow up of Sharena being fucking gobsmacked that local introvert prince managed to S rank Kiran was beautiful 10/10 makes me both happy and sad. And from then on the brain rot has been STRONG. No thoughts head empty only these lil guys.

Oughgh I'VE. BEEN RUMINATING ON THIS.... (which is. Why it took so long for me to respond to LMFAOO)

BUT.... first of all YOUR INTERPRETATION. OF THE "Half a body, half a mind" bit is HUGE. Like you're so right, there is a lot of symbolism there even if it's silly!!! And esppp Sharena's reaction to Alfonse making a close friend, so easily in her eyes... that absolutely would be a sleeper agent thing for me actually. Like. I wouldn't consider it until Much later, and when I did it just never left my mind.

And I think that's the thing!! I've actually been having a lot of trouble, trying to pinpoint exactly Where each took such a strong hold on me LMFAO. I think, because it's this gradual and constant process of taking in information, noticing something Odd, re-examining, re-contextualizing, and gaining new perspective.

It def happened quicker w Alfonse though, cause he's actually much easier to read. Immediately you can tell his words and actions aren't matching up, and through that you can tell his feelings aren't matching his words either. You also see the clear reason Why he's Like That, on. Several different levels.

I think.... the lines of dialogue that always stick with me. His entire level 40 convo. I'm always thinking about it. I'll often revisit it. And, a lot of his lines to or about the summoner: "Please, remain with us, [summoner]?", "Or... is it that reality has been reshaped by my fear of having lost [summoner]?"

BUT, I think. What really got me was actually his Forging Bonds with Dieck. Like at this point I was already in way too deep LMFAO BUT. Dieck's fucking dialogue fucked me up SO much actually

I AM LITERALLY ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT THIS FUCKING DIALOGUE ‼️‼️‼️‼️It REALLY opened my eyes AND put words to something that was Constantly nagging at me. How Alfonse, from the very start, will say one thing, and then. Directly contradict himself. Not because he's disingenuous -- but because he's so split in two.

AND. AUGHHGH!! THAT'S!!!! You think he's so reserved, and he is. But he wears his heart on his sleeve and will talk openly with anyone who will listen. You think he's the cool and collected type, he OFTEN leaves people with that impression. But SO many times he acts rashly, with little regard for himself. He claims, he can't be driven by emotion because those driven by emotion cannot rule. BUT HE. IS. SUCH A PAINFULLY EMOTIONAL CHARACTER. Almost EVERYTHING he does is driven by his emotions -- I absolutely think so much about how he has a bit of a temper on him, and I think about all the little ways he so clearly and deeply loves Sharena, I think about how much of a mess he is over Bruno, I think about just how quickly he warmed up to the summoner despite insisting upon keeping his distance. Hell, you think he's like. This very serious guy. And he is! Aaand then next thing you know he's dug a ditch and he's thrown himself into it and he's covered in mud. AND. THE WILDEST PART OF THAT. Is the Way he does it, the reason Why, it. Tracks. Like yeah. He would do that. That's actually not out of character for him.

(ALSO as a side his Forging Bonds w f!Alear also live in my head rent free -- another instance of, taking a step back and re-evaluating. It was actually so refreshing in a way? You get used to just how warm he is with the summoner, that you forget just how cold he can be too. That's ALSO something I'm so not normal about. The asshole tendencies. The coldness, and the ruthlessness. It's subtle, but There. He does have a harsher side to him.)

AND ALL OF THIS....... still only feels like the tip of the iceberg. But literally I will never shut up about it LMFAOOO I GOTTA. BECAUSE. SHARENA‼️‼️‼️

I think actually I have an easier time pinning down where I started having Thoughts about her. Because, I made the same mistake a lot of charas in-universe make, even Alfonse, himself. Assuming, that just because she's outgoing and friendly, that she has an easier time making friends. When like. Really, it's been present the whole time actually -- from that FEH comic, to the Paralogues featuring Katarina, like. She doesn't. She struggles just as much, if not more.

But I think, the exact point I actually internalized this was in her Forging Bonds w f!Byleth. Like. Those convos REALLY make it clear, so much so I felt stupid for not even seeing that sooner. And, it helped me re-contextualize her level 40 convo also! When I first got that dialogue, I really didn't know what to make of it. LIKE. ABSOLUTELY she's so sweet and I love her. But. I really had no idea what to make of it! Until like. It became clear to me, ohhhhhhhh I. Fell for the front she puts up as a defense mechanism. You can be cheerful and silly and deeply hurt and have just as many interpersonal issues as someone who like. Shows clearer signs of having those issues. Okay! Got it 🫡 SHKAHSJSHJAJ

And then I think that's when I became just deeply unwell about her too LMFAOOOOOOO

[floortoastie]

I watch Danny’s minecraft streams to fall asleep and he said

“I like to cook a bunch of chicken at once so I have more for the next day”

And I like shot up from my slumber like it was a fucking trigger word sleeper agent like!!! That’s me!! He’s literally me!! I cook lots of chicken at once too :D omg I’m literally Danny!

[painterofhorizons]

Spiegelbilder

So, apparently 2025 IS the year of the sleeper agents. Huh. Not what I expected.

After the King Arthur 2004 movie sleeper agents are back and with them the history special interest sleeper agents, now there's also the Spiegelbilder/Criminal Minds comfort fic sleeper agents.

Those who know me since know - for those lovely folks I met during the past few years, gimme a word of explanation.

Once, I was a huge Criminal Minds fan (ever since it first aired, with less interest in the actual show as the show progressed and my interests and my level to tolerate explicit portraing of violence changed). I wrote a lot of german fic for it, including Spiegelbilder, a by now 62 chapter long fic, mostly written between 2017-2020, with some early version started in 2014. Big shoutout to the german reader squad from back then, and biggest shoutout to @sheeplessthings who's still a very good friend. <3

I have hence moved on to english writing spheres, and tbh rn I'm unsure when I will be writing german fic again (I probably will at some point!) because writing in german and english is hella different and my writing has changed a lot. In 2020-2022 I started to translate the german opus, and while doing so working on the plot and such. Then came covid, and a renewn love for Mass Effect and ME writing (screw you, ME1 and Akuze mentions in the early game, we all know that has been eating my brain ever since xD).

And now that I write this I'm like - this was a mere three years ago, why does it feel like AGES ago. Because it does. I have not touched my Spiegelbilder folks since 2022. But it does feel like that's forever ago. Covid really screwed with my sense of time.

Anyways, back to where I'm going with this rant. World politics screwed. National politics screwed. Election on Sunday. Everything fucked. So, I dug out the comfort characters two days ago. And did some reading today. And damn.

Spiegelbilder and the characters indeed are my comfort fic. The feels are very much back.

So I've been going through the notes I have randomly taken occasionally since the last time I touched them (so, years of random little notes and bits and pieces). I don't remember any of them, but there are some really nice snippets in them.

So, you will maybe see some completely different kind of fic and posts from me here in the future.

And don't be fooled: while Spiegelbilder did start as a classic Criminal Minds fic many many years ago, by now it is a "yes there is aa CM character playing a big role but that's about the only connection with the seris there is left"-kind of fic. :D (with that character being David Rossi, plus a side of Garcia, so if you know ANYTHING about the CM fandom you can do the math and know that literally nobody in the CM fandom will be interested in my stuff xD)

So yeah. Just a little ramble post that I am really surprised to where 2025 led me so far this year, I did not expect that, but I am delighted and eager to see if some actual published fic will result, and if it's only for @sheeplessthings and my own amusement.

But if any of you wants to join a fic/universe with very cool OCs and barely any connection to CM as a series, you are more than welcome. :D

I, for one, am very excited to see where this will take us. And I am very grateful for this small safe haven of comfort fic I have created for myself over the past 7-10 years, for it still sparks joy.

[mionkingsvibe]

LETS FUCKING GOOO LETS DO THIS BABYYY

THIS IS MY FAVORITE AU NOW EVERYONE GO HOME/JK

BROOO... BROOO... I NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT THIS WORD LITERALLY ACTIVATED MY OLD SHIT LIKE A SLEEPER AGENT BECAUSE IVE BEEN GENUINELY OBSESSED WITH THE IDEA OF SPIDER SENTINEL FOR A WHILE

THAT I FOCUSED ON THIS FANFIC TOO WHICH HAS SENTINEL FALL IN INSTEAD ALL ALONE

AND INCASE YOURE WONDERING YES TECHNORGANIC REQUIEM EXISTS IN MY HEAD.

CRASHES IN

DID I JUST SEE THE WORD TECHNORGANIC SPIDER SENTINEL WITH MY OWN TWO EYES

WHO IS IN MY WALLS OTHER THAN WALL ANON??? WHO?? BECAUSE TECHNORGANIC SENTINEL HAS BEEN ON MY MIND FOR A WHILEEEEE AHHHH

Lmao HI Mion. Welcome to the soulmate au.

Aka the better DW au because it has concent

[spiideybiite]

oh, you just said my sleeper agent words skhhdksks i have so many feelings about this let me tell you. essay beneath the cut bc i got carried away SKHDJS

i really feel like steve and bucky make great foils for one another, whether intentional or not. like, steve being awkward vs bucky being the charmer, steve always leading the charge into battle vs bucky being the good soldier who follows orders, and steve the man out of time vs bucky with a past full of pain.

considering how i imagine bucky feels about those lost years of his life, i think it makes sense that he has no desire to go back. knowing that somewhere out there is a version of him still with HYDRA – god, i cant even imagine what that would be like for him. i dont feel like bucky could live a happy or healthy life knowing that the winter soldier exists, and is out there being sent on missions, hurting and killing people. it would be a different kind of torture for him. (do NOT imagine him going back and trying to save himself, only for the TVA to reset things after every success!!! dont do it!!!)

and i think that steve willingly going back knowing how bucky felt probably hurt as well. it's my own personal headcanon that endgame!steve (who i really consider a completely different character from steve in literally every other movie FUCK endgame!steve) didn't even bother to ask bucky to tag along bc he knew bucky wouldn't want that. which would only hurt bucky in a different way, i think.

anyways!! it ended up being for the best that bucky chose to move on from the past bc he moved right into sam's loving arms, where he belongs <333

Guys!!!! I need you help! I want to know why Bucky stayed in the present instead of going back with Steve in Avengers: Endgame.

Personally, I think it's because he wanted to stay with Sam, but I'm a Sambucky shipper so I'll never be objective about that.

I would love for someone to tell me what they think about that ending?