#it's literally my alarm in the mornings
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the ace rimmer theme my beloved <333
#both of them#ugh god howard goodall the genius that you are#the top gun style one in s4 gives me such nostalgic vibes and idk why#like the synthy 80s sound is so good#i get so happy when i hear it#AND THEN THE S7 ONE??#it's so hype#like the build up-#i literally can't help but grin like an idiot#they make me so giddy lmaooo#it's literally my alarm in the mornings#red dwarf#i love all the music and music cues so much 😭😭
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releasing this from the hj discord dungeon because the public populace was in agreement also i'm chronically offline on tumblr and need to fix that for my chronically online ahh
#hand jumper#webtoon#sayeon lee#she couldn't even enjoy herself once she gets into the decent university because she got sent to the corps sayeon lee my giiirl#SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO BASK IN THE GLORY OF VALEDICTORIAN BECAUSE SHE WAS CONSCRIPTED 😭#bro she's built like those kids in school who dump social interaction the moment exam season comes around#she's built like and earned that first honours fr.#but the corps said nah so she did the one thing those kids do make life even HARDER for themselves#even if in context it's no even hard it's just a matter of survival in the corps so success is the only option lest you die#hj reminds me of kaiji a lot with how they handle this but they're like two different genres but i digress#so she created TWO short term goals that forced her to hammer down her if not reinforce her previous values/beliefs#and if you read fp or wait until this tuesday lemme tell you rn it gets worse#which force her back into her shell and wall she's built#which is fucked up bc juni's wall is coming down when cell 4 didn't die as quick as she'd thought and surpassed her expectations#sayeon try not to be any characters narrative foil/parallel challenge fail 1000% speedrun#this only gets worse in fp and while this was in my drafts since the morning#i will say i literally just had a conversation abt this with my g bigbrainmanyvibes before prematurely leaving for lunch#but i set an alarm to actually post all the memes i made here so imma do this one now then the rest later#JOIN THE HJ DISCORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND WAY EASIER TO USE!!!!![to me......]#PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#that's it for my obligatory plug for the hj discord you can stop reading now i you haven't already stopped because i make this thing a diar#anw GLORY TO SAYJIN NATION!!!!!!!!!
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Guys I've been having a very stubborn case of insomnia for about three months now and nothing I've tried seems to help, please hit me with some advice if you can? :')
#or just hit me literally. on the head with something heavy so I can sleep#I've posted this on main already and not much came of it so I'm trying here too#my methods so far:#I don't drink coffee or energy drinks at all and I don't consume anything caffeinated not even green tea past 4pm#I drink lavender tea in the evenings#I have a very steady bedtime routine#and I take 3mg melatonin an hour before bed#my problem is that even after doing all this I just lie awake for a while and then fall into shallow sleep#and it's very fragmented I wake up very often#and then I wake up early in the morning without even needing an alarm and I can't fall back asleep for the life of me#so I'm just constantly exhausted and my head hurts and I've got tinnitus like all day#personal#posts from yahar'gul
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this song is fuckin addicted to charting
#mypost#kendrick lamar#k.#understandable as im addicted to it#its my literal alarm song it wakes me up in the morning i would depression die if it didnt wake me up every day yknow
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you should go here every day
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when I'm asleep I'm so fucking dead to the world it's so hard to wake me up esp if I get really high before bed. which would make it just so easy for someone to use me without me even knowing. u could fuck me hard and the only way I'd know is when I woke up with your cum dripping out of me
#not a joke btw i literally slept through a tree falling about 20 feet outside my bedroom window#i have about 15 alarms to wake up for work in the morning#im so easy to take advantage of#op#nsft#gay nsft#somno k!nk#cnc somno
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more 'things I'm kind of mad about working':
1 - not looking immediately at that damned phone the second I wake up makes me get out of bed and feel more awake and alert faster
2 - if I sit down and concentrate on writing, I write
revolutionary.
#i used to 100% scroll tumblr immediately when my alarm went off#but now i have my dream journal and have started to do like 20 minutes of morning pages#and what do you know...once 6:30 hits I'm like well it's out of bed time#it's been weeks and I have not languished past 6:30#*on weekdays weekends don't count languishing is the point of the weekend#and yeah i've been putting on ambient music and setting a timer and hey i got to 3k words sunday and 2k tonight#wonders* never cease#*literally basic advice people have been telling me for years
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why do i feel stir-crazy rn i literally cant focus on anything like even relaxing things i can't do without it feeling wrong somehow i'm literally gonna start throwing things
#bella.txt#like my backpack is put together for class tmrw.. my alarms are set.. there's literally no point in doing hw bc nothing is due yet..#am i just unsettled bc the first class i have first thing in the morning tmrw is of course the only class that hasn't made any announcement#at all whatsoever and doesnt even have the online course module published??? probably !!!!#but thts out of my control so like. GIRL RELAX.............
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why am i not asleep rn chat i am literally cooked
#rambles#it’s 3:48 in the morning and my alarm is literally set for 5:30#my class isn’t til 9 but with the shit traffic i need to leave way earlier it pmo honestly
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Lucid Dreams:
I dreamt I was standing unsteadily on top of a bucket and underneath was a large and angry snake. A crowd of friendly people and children stood nearby, definitely in danger if the snake escaped. Two people were helping me balance. The one on the left with a sturdy arm for me to grip, the one on the right dizzy on their feet—just enough to make me have to work to balance still. The one on the left had only two long fingers per hand, and each hand was burned blue and black.
#might start documenting some of my lucid dreams here? ¯\_(ツ)_/��#lucid dream#myluciddream#mypost#burn#burn mention#also I was fucking terrified of the snake getting out#fully lucid dream bc I was hearing my brother get ready in the morning and recognized what he was doing#physically lucid in the way that I didn’t move one of my legs until my alarm across the room went off BC I was afraid of lifting my leg from#the bucket#the physical-dream crossovers are always the weirdest#times that I trip or my arm gets yanked and I feel it in the dream & irl (and sometimes wake up/partially wake up from it)#this one was def extra attached to the dream it was wacky#fully knew it was a dream but fully would not take my leg off the bucket#edit: WILD update!! am now back in bed and when I extend my right leg in a certain way#(the same leg that was ‘stuck’ on the bucket this morning)#IT FEELS PSYCHOSOMATICALLY LIKE THE BUCKET IS THERE AND NOT THERE AT THE SAME TIME#FKCN WILD#is psychosomatic the right word? I don’t know and don’t care. I am literally posting about a dream 😌
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how it feels to be having a great day when you were expecting to be tired and grumpy
#literally just like ‘oh i like my job. oh im happy. wow life is so beautiful’#AND i woke up before my alarm this morning. how did i get here
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I chose this shift. I chose this shift. I chose those shift, I whisper as I listen to everyone else in my unit get off at a reasonable hour, and I still have three more to go.
#yay#shiftwork is fun#i thought id give swings a go#i could be done with my day by now#but nooooo#upside is: i dont have to set an alarm in the mornings#thats literally why i chose swings
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sometimes you do not pick the appointment time. the appointment time picks you. especially when you had to wait like three months for the appointment because it was the earliest available. this is why i have to see the endocrinologist at 8:40 IN THE STUPID FUCKING MORNING TOMORROW
#my alarm is set for the unholy hour of six in the morning.#one of the reasons i am going is like. literally the LEAST of my fucking worries. honestly. not at all a big deal to me in any way#but the second reason makes me want to walk into the woods and never return so we'll see how that one goes :)
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:D
#the plan is I add a sticker every day I’m like fully up and getting ready ten minutes after my morning alarm#there may be some issues (literally all just me not having rules)#bc first discipline without rules is nonexistent#second I have spent a while trying to think of a reward but I don’t rly have anything I want that I don’t get..#whineee i miss having someone who did rules and treats for me >~<#think in the meantime ill just post here each day I get a sticker. not really accountability but closest I can have rn#which will also probably mean I waste half an hour lurking on discord as usual then no sticker#ugh >~< what is a brat w/o rules to find loopholes in and be grumpy with
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got sad and put Don't Forget Who You Are on shuffle. im no longer sad nor happy but a secret third option-
#it was literally an accident aswell i was just turning on my morning alarm and it connected to spotify and bam#bombshells starts playing#and jesus christ the way everything just started feeling okay-#i love that album more than anything ahhh#seriously though ive been feeling so off the whole day and now everything feels so much lighter yyayyy#pls dont tempt me cause i will do an entire post rambling on how dfwya is the most underrated album in history#and how every track just touches my soul#GOD IM SO DRAMATIC (im deadly serious)#miles kane appreciation club#dont forget who you are#dfwya#miles kane#oversharing and its bitter aftertaste
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I REFUSE TO SUFFER ALONE.
I'm going to find a way to get my revenge I don't care what it takes.
#lincoln answers things#mistmarauder#WHO HAS BEEN HERE SINCE DAY ONE?#WHO'S BEEN FAITHFUL AS A NUN?#was literally the first thing that popped into my head when my alarm went off in the morning
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