#it's like yes! treat yourself! get some! they're tasty!

[imwritesometimes]

I hope the kind dude at target who saw me (v short) struggling to get stuff off the top shelf and was like do you need help? and got my pellegrinos for me has a good day

I hope every middle-aged woman cashier who asks me 'ooooh are these good!?!?' when I get a little snack knows I love them

[greyborn2]

Elisif headcanons now! (friendly tone ofc <3) Why do you think she would be a good marriage candidate? I'm curious :)

Yesssss!!! Okay - so this boils down to two categories. Personal interest in it, and underrated narrative JUICE. Starting with the former because its easier to begin with. So Elisif is just... she's neat. She's simultaneously one of the most politically important people in skyrim while also being COMPLETELY overshadowed by the men around her (Nobody talks about her, really, they talk of Torygg. The civil war isnt her vs ulfric, its TULLIUS vs ulfric. Her own decisions in court the first time we even see her are seemingly overruled on a dime by her own court, by Falk.). Its like she's this big thing of incredible importance and is constantly hidden away both in narrative and in game. But despite that, if you actually sneak in a bit, ignore all the big figures standing in front of her and propping themselves up on top of her, she has a surprising amount of meat to her.

Most of the Jarls are like... a few word summary at best. Greedy idiot boy, honourable honorman, paranoid bigot, old seer, etc etc etc. You get an initial impression of them and thats kinda it. Ulfric has a lot more, obviously, because he's a major character but it would *SEEM* that Elisif should be on the lower end of content. It takes so much to seek her out in her overshadowed little corner after all, but she has so so so much surprising stuff around her. The necromancer potema plot revolves around her, a whole big dialogue tree that isnt super common to see for a jarl, some touching personal quests that go into detail about how she saw her late husband. Its just all super compelling to me to have a character that, despite being so important, is *soooo* hidden away actually have some meat to her. Plus she's just a nice person!!! ANYWAYS!! PART 2!! The JUICE!!

For starters, I think, there should just be more opportunities for the dragonborn to play the political game if they want. Beyond just choosing a side in a war or ticking off their 'thane of everywhere' list, actually getting in on climbing the ladder and enmeshing oneself with the politics of the land they're in. BUT BUT... same can be said for Ulfric. Absolutely true. I do think he should also be a marriage candidate. BUT...

I think Elisif PARTICULARLY makes sense as a marriage opportunity that isn't one you seek out, but one that is put forward to the player. Specifically with an Imperial victory in the civil war.

The war is won. Alduin MAY or MAY NOT be slain. But either way, no matter what, at this point the dragonborn is a war hero, a champion of the people, and decorated imperial legate. And this would be fucking FRIGHTNING, I think, to the politicians back in Cyrodiil. There's a *history* of war hero dragonborns, popular with the people, turning on their commanders and declaring themselves emperor afterall. Oh boy is there a precedent. Suddenly they're the big figure in a war that was supposed to be Tullius' duty and they might start sweating in their boots a little.

SO... after the war is won... the legion starts... pushing. Just a little. A few letters, a few comments, that the dragonborn should maybe marry Elisif. Become High King by marriage. Lock them in and satisfy the war hero with a political title off in the ass end of the empire before they turn their gaze toward a ruby throne. Don't give them time to think on it. Ooooh look tasty treat right here shhhh dont think yes you did very good dragonborn yes yes be high king.

I think from there it could go one of three ways;

1) Last Dragonborn marries Elisif but with her actually agreeing to the union (after completing her personal quests) and she FINALLY steps out of the shadows. Rather than the expected you using her for power, she uses YOU for power. You allow yourself to be the thing she props herself up on and finally really starts coming into public view. Maybe to the nervousness of the Empire as she's a less eager puppet then they might have thought, now.

2) Last Dragonborn falls right into the trap the empire placed. You didnt do the quests for Elisif, she remains in the shadows, there's a loveless marriage and you get to be satisfied with a big title that hopefully keeps you occupied.

3) Last Dragonborn refuses all of this. Things seem to proceed as they do in canon but... well... maybe you notice a few more non-DB assassins using imperial weapons attacking you on the road then you did before. Curious.

[foxfirefallout]

If Heron is teaching Ell'iandyr, they're gonna do at least some light sparring at some point, soooooooooooooooooo...9? -vesuvian-disaster

Several months and... ~3500 words later, we finally have an answer to this! The prompt, for anyone playing along at home was 'Sparring turns into sex' (or at least something along those lines). We... took some liberties.

Content warnings: physical and magical fights, non-consensual contact

Minors DNI

Under cut for excessive wordcount...

“Yes. Like that.”

Ell’iandyr repeated the gesture, glancing to Heron for another affirmation. “That’s good. Very good. Now, put some energy behind it.”

The makeshift target that had been set up some distance away burst briefly into flames, blue tongues of heat flickering over the surface before extinguishing themselves with a gesture from Heron.

“I’m still not entirely sure that I could set an actual person on fire,” they commented as they considered the faint scorch marks on the target.

Heron looked at them for a moment, and arched an eyebrow. “You don’t think you can set someone on fire, but you have no trouble--”

“That was different! Reflexive, and entirely unintentional. I… just wanted them to go away.*”

“And that’s why we’re doing this now. Setting someone on fire will definitely make them go away, and at significantly less cost to your own personal well-being.”

“I know… but hitting a target is not the same thing as actually… dealing with a person.”

“That’s why we spar. You are getting better. Even if you don’t feel like you are.”

“I know, I know… just…” Ell sighed and shook their head.

“You’d rather not have to learn at all. I know. I can’t be with you all the time, but I can, at least, teach you enough to keep yourself safe.” Heron offered a slight smile as he ghosted a touch over Ell’s cheek. “I teach you to fight because I care. Let’s get to work.”

For the next half hour, Ell resigned themself to a flurry of fast-paced casting. Spells, counter-spells, shields and attacks as well as more mundane means were all fair game with little time to think before reacting. As it would be in a real fight, Heron had reminded them. Heron had also reminded them, repeatedly, that a real fight would not likely last very long, once the first spell was cast. It was cold comfort for the present, however, as they continued to spar and Heron no longer offered suggestions but let Ell work out their best defense for themself.

“That’s very impressive,” Heron said, nodding his approval at Ell, who had fallen onto their back, but maintained a very solid shield spell. “I think we can be done for the time being,” he added, offering a hand to assist Ell back to their feet as the spell dissipated. They weren’t entirely sure how falling on their ass could be viewed as impressive, but they were reasonably sure that Heron wouldn’t try to flatter them over something like this.

“Thank you,” they murmured as they held on to Heron’s hand for a moment, steading themself while Heron ensured their clothes were clean again with a simple gesture. Ell was still holding on as they moved to the edge of the clearing where a small basket lunch waited for them. They had forgotten that Heron had brought that along, but was grateful for his forethought all the same. These practice sessions always left them feeling anxious and unsettled, even though they knew that Heron would not allow them to be hurt in the course of training. A little bruised, perhaps, but nothing that couldn’t be healed easily. What worried them was the notion that they might have to use the skills they were learning at some point when Heron was not around to help.

Ell was quiet as they settled down, watching Heron pour tea and hand over tasty treats that were among their favorites. “Thank you,” they repeated, accepting some spiced bread, magically warmed, and tea freshly brewed.

“You’re welcome, Ell. You really are gaining ground with these practices.”

“I’m feeling a little more confident, yes. But I still hope I never really need to use any of this.”

“So do I, but I feel better knowing that, if you need to, you can.”

For several moments, Ell concentrated on enjoying their tea, staring into the depths and expecting to see nothing save the bottom of the cup. They weren’t here to do a reading, after all, and seldom looked into their own future unless circumstances seemed dire.

Ell’s thoughts, such as they were, were broken when Heron spoke again. "I'm sorry I'm having to push you through this training. You have a gentle nature."

“I know that you’re doing it because you care. And I do appreciate it. I would rather know.”

***

Work for a client had taken Ell into a part of the city they did not often venture, but when the older woman came to their shop, pleading for help to find her grandchild, Ell could hardly refuse. Such work did not always end well, but in this case, they were able to locate the girl before too long, and with the grateful thanks (and generous payment) of the family, they headed towards home.

When the feeling of lightheadedness struck them, Ell realized that stopping for food was going to be necessary, if they wished to make it out of the district in one piece. Fortunately for them, taverns and pubs were plentiful throughout the city and they ducked into the first one they came to, placing an order at the bar for light ale and some food before finding a table in the corner.

All the while, they were scanning the place, all the more wary for how exhausted their last job had left them. This was something else that Heron had warned them about, and something they clearly needed to work on. At least their food was served with no incident and they were able to enjoy it in peace.

As they were readying to leave, it seemed that some of the clientele felt that it was time to make the evening more interesting. And, being a stranger in the tavern, it was clear to them, at least, that Ell was the most interesting thing in the room.

“Hey there, gorgeous! Leaving so soon?”

Ell felt someone grasp at their arm, but they tried shrugging it off as they headed to the door.

No such luck.

“Naw… you’re gonna stay awhile,” another voice slurred in their ear as another hand grasped their arm.

“I don’t think so,” Ell managed in their calmest voice as they reached up to remove one of the hands that held them, electricity gathering in their touch. Fire seemed ill-advised in an atmosphere already rife with alcohol fumes and exceedingly flammable furnishings.

The shock was enough to get one person to let go, but the impeding grasp was replaced before Ell could make much headway to the door.The swore quietly to themselves as the tumult of voices grew louder, some jeering the person who’d let go, others commenting on the ‘liveliness’ of their ‘new friend.’

“Is there a problem here?”

This was a familiar voice, calm and orderly in the face of the tavern turmoil. And it was not a voice that expected to wait for an answer.

Though Ell had sparred with Heron and was familiar with his fighting technique, they still could not quite follow all that happened in the next few moments. For them, it was sufficient that they were no longer being held and that no one seemed to have any more interest in impeding their exit.

Seeming satisfied with the result, Heron offered Ell his hand and together they made their way to the door.

Outside, in the relatively fresh evening air, Ell turned to thank Heron, and ask just how he’d come to be in the area. The words died on their lips as Heron leaned close to murmur, “You let yourself run low… we should see if we can do something about that.”

The purr in Heron’s voice, coupled with the now very welcome arm around their waist meant that Ell was developing a very good idea of just what Heron had in mind. In a few steps they were away from the tavern, and in a few more, Heron had led them down a small, dark alley. In a fluid motion, and with no thought of self-defense, Ell found themself pressed against the cool stone of a building, struggling to catch their breath as Heron trailed kisses over their neck, his teeth grazing over Ell’s skin. His hands supported them, running along their sides as they failed to find any sort of equilibrium.

If it was anyone but Heron, Ell would have been in a panic, frantic to get away, to get home. Now, all they could think of was submitting to Heron’s whim, shivering a little as they became intimately aware of magical hands, along with Heron’s own.

“H-Heron…”

“No one’s going to notice us. I promise.” Indeed, the sounds of the street and tavern seemed more distant to them, a vague susurration, rather than the raucous cries they’d heard only moments before. “I’d hate for you to have to go too far. As depleted as you are.” 

The words were murmured against Ell’s neck before Heron bit at their collarbone, then shifted to claim their lips for a kiss. Though they were left breathless by Heron’s intensity, they returned the gesture and were very aware of the flow of energy through the contact; their own magical reserves beginning to regain what had been lost over the course of their evening’s work.

As the kiss deepened, Ell twined one hand in the soft curls of Heron’s hair. There was no reason to worry about Heron drawing away when it was clear that this was exactly what Heron wanted to be doing-- but it was a way to steady themselves, to find grounding in a sensation that was not the caress and grasp of hands that they were now beginning to lose count of.

When the kiss broke, Ell gasped, breathing heavily, but Heron seemed entirely unphased. He did seem intent on keeping Ell breathless,those various hands tugging at their clothes to caress the skin hidden underneath while he continued to nip along the sensitive line of their jaw. 

They curled their fingers in Heron’s hair, their other arm wrapped around his shoulders. When they felt a very firm, decidedly flesh hand grasp their ass, though, they froze for a moment, tensing their own hold on Heron as the reality of the situation suddenly came into full focus for them.

Above them the night sky, what they could glimpse beyond the rooftops surrounding them, was clear and painfully distant, the full moon only just now high enough to shine down on them. At their back, they were aware of each chisel-mark hewn into the stone, catching at the fabric of their tunic. There would be marks, they thought as they blinked and found that Heron was staring at them intently, his breaths still falling with perfect regularity.

“My place is closer. I’d really rather that you did not go home alone tonight,” he murmured, something like an apology in his voice as he eased back, helping Ell regain their feet and smooth their ruffled clothes. Soon, it was only Heron’s hands, none of the magical ones, giving their hair a stroke and trailing over their neck to see if marks had been left.

Though Ell was not entirely sure what had caused the sudden shift in mood, they managed a nod. “I’d really rather not be alone tonight,” they admitted, nerves still buzzing from the combined adrenaline of getting out of the tavern and being very forcibly kissed by the person who had done that for them.

Heron nodded and, arm once again wrapped around Ell, led the way back out of the alleyway and through the district to his own home. It seemed to Ell that the noises they expected to hear were still distant, coming to them through the fog of whatever spell Heron was keeping up. It also seemed that, as they went, their path was entirely clear and no one they passed even glanced their direction. For this, at least, Ell was grateful-- they were not glowing, but they were feeling far more disheveled than they liked, despite (or perhaps because of) Heron’s best efforts.

The chime over the door sounded as Heron opened it, and Cicero scampered forward to investigate them both. When he discovered that there were no treats in the offing for him, he slipped out the door, presumably to find some trouble of his own to get into.

“Did I… discomfort you?” The door was closed again, and Heron was watching them, his face registering hints of concern.

“I was surprised,” Ell admitted. “You aren’t usually so, um, impulsive.”

“Ah. That.” He quirked a slight smile, reaching up to trail his finger’s over Ell’s jaw and neck, noting that where he’d bitten was no longer red, even if it was clear from the change in Ell’s breath that they remembered exactly what he had been doing. “A brawl can leave me feeling… amorous. It isn’t exactly the same as sparing or practicing, so there was no reason to bring it up.”

“I see. Are you still feeling… ‘amorous?’”

“Oh, yes. Very much so.” Heron’s touch ghosted again over Ell’s neck, feeling their pulse racing again even as they tried to appear outwardly calm. “And here we have the prospect of a much more comfortable venue. If you’re inclined.”

“I’m inclined,” Ell replied, closing the little distance that remained to claim a kiss of their own. They brought their hands up to tangle again in Heron’s hair and this time were entirely unsurprised when they felt Heron’s hands moving over their ribs and hips, pausing to grasp their ass.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Heron murmured when the kiss broke, shifting his weight to gather Ell into his arms.

‘Show-off,’ Ell thought to themself as they were carried up the stairs, retwining their arms around Heron’s shoulders, fingers trailing absently along the back of his neck. 

They were not particularly worried about being too much of a distraction while Heron made his way up the stairs, the door to his room opening obligingly ahead of them, and closing with the same consideration. Ell stared at the door for a long moment, relaxing slightly in Heron’s arms as the realization that they absolutely will not be seen sank in. “Thank you,” they murmured, lips brushing over Heron’s cheek as he stepped over to the bed to set them down.

“You’re welcome,” Heron replied, hand ghosting over their cheek for a moment. Then the gesture expanded as he quirked a smile and snapped his fingers.

“Show-off,” Ell murmured aloud as they lounged on the bed, entirely nude thanks to Heron’s spell, their clothes in a reasonably tidy pile on the floor. “You aren’t going to let me get cold, are you?” they asked as they shifted against the fine linen.

“Of course not,” Heron replied as he turned away to undress by more mundane means.

Ell sat up a little more, thinking to help Heron, only to be arrested by the feel of very warm, decidedly magical hands running over their skin.

“Just stay there… you’ve had a long day,” Heron murmured, not turning around as he started to unfasten his tunic. He worked with purposeful slowness, brass eyes flashing in the mirror to watch Ell’s favorable reactions to the most recent spell… and to being watched.

For a moment, all of Ell’s attention was taken up by the feeling of warmth as the hands wandered over them, watching how tenderly the polished brass figments caressed their arms, legs and chest until one slid over their shoulder, a finger crooking under their chin. With gentle pressure, Ell’s gaze was lifted until they could see themself in the mirror, and see also that, though his back was to them, they had all of Heron’s attention.

“I hope you’re not feeling too chilled,” Heron commented as he finished undoing the last fastenings of his tunic and letting it fall away as he watched Ell’s reflection. They were looking a little flushed, lips parted as, one by one, the hands vanished, turning invisible at Heron’s whim.

Ell was still very much aware that they were present however; the warmth was unmistakable, even if they could no longer track the paths of the hands visually. “I’m… I’m fine. Thank you,” they added, lest Heron somehow think they were not appreciative of the effort.

“Good,” he replied as he cast his shoes aside, then began to peel out of his trousers. All the while, though, Heron watched Ell’s reflection, noting their little gasps as the attention of the now-invisible hands grew more intimate. Heron was very well aware that Ell did not care for being handled roughly, but careful pinches here and there, with the promise of more tender attention to follow did not seem to spoil the mood.

Only when his trousers had joined the rest of the garments on the floor did Heron bother to turn around and approach Ell once more. That Ell liked to watch (and occasionally be watched) was something that had taken some time to discover, and the effect that it had on them was more than obvious now. 

Lounging on the bed, Ell sought out Heron’s gaze, shifting to better pose for their audience of one. They were very sure that Heron knew exactly what each of the hands he had manifested were doing, but played into the touches all the same before extending their own hand in invitation. Being watched was delicious, but what would be even better would be to have Heron close and kissable.

For a moment, it seemed that Heron was considering his options before taking Ell’s hand and brushing a kiss over their knuckles. With the same deliberate care he had shown since arriving home, he knelt on the bed, trailing kisses up Ell’s arm as he did so. After a lingering kiss to the crook of their elbow, he nipped delicately, teeth grazing sensitive skin before working back towards their wrist. Another kiss was pressed to their palm before he took one of their fingers between his lips, sucking carefully while he watched Ell’s eyes flutter closed, lost to the myriad of sensations.

The bed was, in Ell’s considered opinion, significantly more comfortable than the stone wall in the alley had been, a point driven home as Heron’s weight settled more fully over them. They could feel Heron’s hips rocking against them, a very deliberate tease as he released one finger, only to begin nibbling at the next. Surrounded by the scent of citron, underscored with a more subtle muskyness, Ell sank deeper, their free hand splaying across Heron’s hip as they began to move with him.

Heron offered a little hum of pleasure as they built upon the leisurely rhythm. There was no reason to rush in the comfort and safety of home, so he focused his attention instead on the magical hands that continued to caress Ell. It was hardly a challenge to summon a lubricant to those hands, nor to ensure that lubricant was suitably warmed before being applied.

With a soft gasp, Ell opened their eyes, focusing on Heron as much as they could through the haze of sensation. “H-heron?” they breathed, fingers clutching at his hip as he shifted again, positioning himself to sink down on their cock.

“Yes. Like that.”

Hands tangled in their hair, fingernails grazing their chest and always, always, the familiar scent of citron enveloping them. Ell’s gaze was becoming unfocused again as they stared up at their lover, flexing their grip at Heron’s hip as he rode them.

“That’s good. Very good. Now…”

When Ell found release, they could offer no warning and their cry was wordless and ecstatic, but even that was too much, too loud, and as their body shook with the pleasure of the climax they held their arm across their face to hide. In the quiet and relative dark of the room, it was too much to feel, too great a gift of pleasure after everything the day had held for them. And still, there were hands smoothing over their skin. Only two hands; Heron’s hands as he eased away only enough to free them, reverent kisses pressed above their thrumming heart.

“Just stay there, Ell’iandyr,” Heron murmured as he refreshed their skin with a spell and eased the fine linen sheets over them. 

Ell was sure that even if they wanted to go home, they wouldn’t be able to manage on their own. Even opening their eyes was a struggle now, their whole world the feel of Heron’s weight as it shifted beside them, of his touch on their face, or smoothing their hair. There was nowhere else they could imagine feeling safer, or more content, than where they were right now.

“You’ve had a long day.”

 *The incident to which they are referring occurred when Ell was out alone and almost mugged. In that instance, Ell’s form of ‘self defense’ was to essentially yeet the attacker into an entirely different timeline/reality. The amount of magical energy spent in that action, however, left them comatose for several days.

[postwarlevi]

This is just me being me....

Soooo! Levi wants to go shopping at the local farmers market. He wants to pick up some tasty food and maybe stop by a place on the way home to grab some plants for the garden.

Which tasty stalls do you stop by and what plants will you guys grab for your garden?

He's eyeing those deals.

CAT! My darling! I must apologize to you (and others) for letting things sit in my inbox.

Part of me just gets distracted, or forces myself to finish my work (not often lol) before interacting. Another part literally feels like I can't do justice to things people send me.... I'll work on that.

(I have no excuse for being so late in tag games except, distractions lol)

Anyway! Let me promote myself LOL I'll take a little inspiration from the Farmers Market fic I wrote a while ago. (this is also slightly self indulgent)

I think you'd have similar tastes and your favorites of course... Am I about to go overboard?

As far as fruit, I stand by Levi liking apples (I have a fic for that too hehe), and cherries, and fresh navel oranges. He's always got an apple or orange for lunch, or snacks on a bowl of cherries when they're in season. And loving apples as well, you're known to make tasty treats like tarts or muffins or crisps, and Levi always has his share.

You can't pass up the pineapple as well, or the blueberries and strawberries in season. Your freezer is full for smoothie ingredients. (Imma make a HC about everyones favorite fruit sometime)

Moving on to veggies, you stock up for salads and quick snacks. Bell peppers, cucumbers, carrots, zucchini, yes! All of it! How can you pass up a 1.5 pound organic zucchini for $1? You can't!

You like winter squash as well like butternut for soups or acorn for stuffing...or both for muffins or casseroles! (I have recipes!)

Also potatoes for baking or mashing yourself. And they last forever.

Okay but the zucchini? You have to visit the cheese stall and get asiago or mozzarella to shred on the zucchini and pop it in the oven for 15 minutes. SO GOOD. Also feta for salads. Cheese is the bulk of your dairy as it's coconut or almond milk in your fridge.

The tea stall! Loose leaf, baggies, give us the usual black or green tea. Chamomile or sage tea, cinnamon and honey lemon, and fruity flavors once in a while like pomegranate or pear mango. :D

Oh and dried fruit and nuts! Levis a weirdo and likes dried beets and such. He can have those. The hazelnuts too. But you both like raw almonds and the nutty granola blend for days you have oatmeal and want a crunch. Sometimes you just use it as a cereal base and throw in the blueberries! Dried fruit like mango or papaya wind up in your bag too. And those apple slices!

We can't forget the bread! You have to watch it here more than anywhere. Rye or pumpernickel loafs, small rolls of sesame seed or garlic herb. Sometimes they're for breakfast and sometimes for lunch.

How about your honey and fresh jams and peanut/almond butters? Gotta have something to put between those sandwiches! Apricot preserves, orange marmalade, classic strawberry jam. (Jam spreads better then jelly!)

You know I don't know where you're going to put all this stuff LOL

Sometimes you also grab eggs, and look at the non food items like the crafty handmade woodwork or coasters (no more coasters!) or fresh bar soap like lavender!

BTW if anyone is waiting for me to throw meats in there, you're going to have to do it yourself haha sorry

Oh wait but maybe you splurge on pasta? There's so many varieties! Maybe you go for lemon garlic linguini, or sun dried tomato fettuccine. And pasta sauce made with organic tomatoes, garlic, onion, basil and olive oil. YUM!

And if you go early and don't eat breakfast, you'll get it there. Strawberry mango smoothies, waffles, guava or chocolate empanadas?? (You eat healthy all the time, it's okay to not once in a while!)

Maybe you get lunch to go like woodfire pizza, or veggie wraps and rice and beans. Yes, you have lots of food, but after lugging it around and putting it away who wants to cook? You need to take it easy for a minute!

As far as plants, more zucchini, you can never have enough. Tomatoes and whatever lettuce variety is your favorite, and fresh herbs like basil, rosemary and parsley.

Fruits are a little more tricky I think, but a fig plant can go indoors or outdoors, and fresh figs are a nice treat! Lemons and limes are a good option too, and you can use them for some flavored water or to keep cut apples fresh :D Maybe if there's room blueberries too, or plums. (and apples)

So, what do you think? You going to the market with Levi? What are YOU getting??

[gabrieldrawsstuff]

Aight fellas, I'm doing a list of canon descriptions of dw characters for future reference, might do a second part with more minor characters

SPOILER ALERT OBV

STRANGER

-THE JOURNAL : "Somehow I'm wearing a coat, so I must've changed my clothes on my way here. I don't recognize myself anymore. I can barely hold this pencil. Has my body changed?"

-DOCTOR : "I see you haven't regained your speech. You need to find another doctor."

-SNAIL : "Your face... What happened to you?

The snail's jaw falls so low, it almost detaches itself from the rest of the body.

You scared me... You barely resemble a human... You should cover yourself..."

SNAIL : "You're so ugly, I feel like puking... You barely resemble a human being..."

THE CRIPPLE : "You, lad. You've got your hands and legs. Strong arms. I beg you!"

MAMA ELEPHANT : "Can't you speak? Did someone take away your voice?"

MAMA ELEPHANT : "Your gob looks like that because of this fiendish air, do you know? I bet you can't speak, because you didn't keep your mouth shut when walking through the woods."

MAMA ELEPHANT : "(...) I know you want something, you leper demon."

MUSHROOM GRANNY : "(...) But you're young and strong."

CHICKEN LADY : "Whaddaya need, poor soul? Hungry, eh? I'd give ya some stew, but what good will it do?"

(I think in polish version it was closer to 'how will you eat it' although I can't be sure)

MIRROR : "You are one ugly bastard. I guess you got what you deserved."

MUSICIAN : "This is our doctor, yes? He is just as brave and good as you are!"

MUSICIAN : "You're not af-fraid of anything!"

WOLFMAN : "Even from afar I can smell your putrid stench. Be glad I don't have an appetite for carcasses, Meat"

WOLFMAN : (after the church dream sequence) "Meat, what's with the big eyes? Hehe... Scared?"

WOLFMAN : (when you nod to a question if you're making a joke of him) "You're a brave piece of meat... and what's more important, one with a sense of humor. 

WOLFMAN : "Are you pretending to be human, or are you just cracking jokes?"

WOLFMAN : "You look tired, Meat. Busy night?"

WOLFMAN : "Have fun, Meat... Just remember to hide that disaster of a face or it's no dancing for you"

WOLFMAN : (when you spare the sow) "My heart sings with joy when I see such selfless kindness. Tell me the truth, Meat. It was you, wasn't it?"

vvvvv

TRADER

-A man, roughly my size, is standing before me.

I can barely make out his disturbingly familiar features through the matte visor of his helmet...

The massive helmet is covered with an old sack and seems to be an integral part of the unnaturally pale body.

-The man reaches out to me with his black hand. It's covered in charcoal... There's something written on his worn, woolen glove.

-Visibly struggling, the man drops the sack from his back and bends in half, as if out of breath. He shakes the dust off his clothes, then rolls up the sleeve of his, seemingly too small, jacket. 

-The old sack covering his body slides down, revealing his chest, covered in horrid growths. It is fused with a porous helmet, pulsating to the rhythm of his breath.

vvvvv

WOLFMAN

THE JOURNAL: "If I'm not delusional, the man whom I met... had the head of a wolf."

FIRST ENCOUNTER: The figure hides its face under the hood. It smells of wet soil and fur.

WOLFMAN: "(...)I barely believe my beautiful eyes... (...) The Wolf smiles, revealing a row of sharp teeth.

AT BARN RUINS: The Wolf makes a quick leap and, bouncing against me with his swollen belly, he puts his paws on my shoulders. He ostentatiously licks his face. (...)

-I notice fresh bloodstains on his fur and feel streaks of his saliva dripping onto my coat. 

-The Wolf takes two steps back. I can only see a row of filthy, sharp teeth underneath his hood.

-The Wolf squeezes my arms and starts licking my face. Once from the left side, once from the right side. (...) His breath stinks of rot.

WOLFMAN: "Thanks to you I feel fulfilled! I got my girl, my sweet little lady back."

-Suddenly the Wolf sends me back with a powerful push and reaches into his coat pocket.

WOLFMAN: "(...) and then nothing wil keep you from getting the fuck out of my part of the woods! Do you get me, Meat? You will pack your bags, dive into that stinking hole of yours and dissa-fucking-pear!"

-Finally he snorts, his thick, yellow spit landing on the photo.

-The Wolf grabs the box and starts sniffing it from every angle. I could swear I've heard his tail moving under his coat.

WOLFMAN: "And what am I supposed to do with it? Bite it until it opens? Your brain must be rotting if you think I will break my fangs for this shit."

WOLFMAN: "An electronic game, eh? About a wolf stealing chicken eggs... hehehe. Good one!I've a soft spot for games, how about you?"

-As I produce the key, the Wolf's pupils widen with excitement.

WOLFMAN: (about villagers) "Those selfish, deceitful wretches! They think they're superior, because they have human gobs. They treat us like lepers! But you know what? Fuck them. We're buddies, aren't we? And them? They deserve to be punished, Meat..."

-The Wolf pierces me with his look and grins. A string of saliva lands on his hole-riddled jacket.

-The Wolf puts his paw on me. I can feel his claws puncturing my skin.

WOLFMAN: (about piotrek) "Meat! Fucking hell, seen that? Hahaha! Seen that? Hahaha! Off he flew, didn't he? OFF HE FUCKED!!! Hahahaha!"

WOLFMAN: "If you wish to spend some more quality time basking in the striking, yet natural beauty of my features before you head off to the Silent Forest, you will find me in my camp in the Dry Meadow."

vvvvv

DOCTOR

THE JOURNAL: "What I do know is that the insane fucker took my key. My only chance to get out of the woods. He also tore out all the pages from my journal."

THE JOURNAL: "The doctor has escaped. So be it. He would only be a hindrance anyway."

CHICKEN LADY: "My sisters! Where did ya find it? It's all that godless quack's fault - devil brought him! All he did was prescribe this and that, scribble this no-good drivel! To hell with them papers!"

-I can feel the doctor's cold hand grab me by the jaw, (...)

-He removes his dirty glasses with a trembling hand and freezes.

DOCTOR: "First they begged for help, now I need to hide from them! I'm just an ordinary doctor! How the fuck was I supposed to help them?! How?!"

-With shaking hands, he reaches for the cigarrete butt between his yellow teeth.

DOCTOR: "I used to come here to treat people. I pulled out kids' milk teeth, delivered babies... (...) Last time I came here was three or four years ago. Then the trees blocked the path."

-The Doctor is visibly pleased with himself and his theory. His hands are no longer trembling. He produces a hand-rolled cigarette and lights it.

DOCTOR: "(...) I have no idea where it leads. I'm a shitty diver. (...)"

-The Doctor stares right into my eyes. Mud drips from his face. He hasn't blinked in over a minute.

- (...)His glasses are so dirty, I barely see the eyes hiding underneath.

-A chunk of mud falls down on his exposed tongue. He chews it slowly and swallows with satisfaction.

-The Doctor puts the muddy hand into his mouth, grimaces and pulls out a yellow tooth. He puts it into the pocket of his torn trousers. The tooth falls through a hole. He does not notice this...

-Slowly he bends down and grabs a thick branch from the ground. He starts biting the bark off of it. He swallows the bark with an effort, but also great satisfaction. He places the stick among other ones sticking out of his mud-covered head.

WOLFMAN: "Well, well. I know this quack. A nonentity, a third-rate witch doctor. Useless fucking clunker... But he still managed to screw you over with that key. Eh, comrade?"

MUSICIAN: "This is our doctor, yes? He is just as brave and good as you are! He helped me. He is helping all of us! He gave me this beautiful mask, so I could be healed of my afllictions. Maybe you could have one too..."

vvvvv

vvvvv

MUSICIAN

THE JOURNAL: "I met a boy in the village. He told me that the "Chicken Lady" keeps the "Pretty Lady" locked in her house. The boy really wants to see her, but the old woman won't allow it."

THE JOURNAL: "I decided to give the key to Chicken Lady's room to the little boy. He thanked me and asked me to bring him his mom's violin (it's hidden behind the wardrobe). He's afraid to go himself, as his parents are supposedly angry with him."

THE JOURNAL: "The boy sure was happy to see the new violin. (...)The kid also told me I should visit him in his parent's home someday."

CHICKEN LADY: (after musician's death) "Maybe it's just that me ears are getting worse, but it's been a while since I've heard that monster outside me windows..."

CHICKEN LADY: "Holy Mother, this creep again! May the devil take him and his blasted violin!"

MUSICIAN: "The Pretty Lady? S-she's... the most beautiful lady in the w-world! I w-watch her through the cracks in the window. S-she ch-changes when I watch her... g-gets more beautiful. I p-play for her... I want her to be h-happy..."

MUSICIAN: "I fished out the Pretty Lady's w-wreath from the river! (...)Oh yes, I will become the Pretty L-lady's husband! We w-will walk hand in hand, s-sir. I will play for her, mister s-sir."

-A skinny little hand emerges from beneath the tractor and grabs me by the ankle.

MUSICIAN: "They will not l-listen to me, they w-won't hear how sad I am, sir..."

-One of the strings securing his mask falls off, together with his ear. The boy reattaches it as if nothing happened.

MUSICIAN: "My m-mom has this beautiful violin! I would ask her to b-borrow it to me, but she's too angry with me... Could you p-please c-convince her to b-borrow it to me? I'll g-give you a card with drawings for her. To apologize."

-The boy turns the game in his hand for a while, but he can't find a way to reach the buttons with his overgrown fingers. The game slips out of his hand and drops to the ground. The wannabe musician freezes.

MUSICIAN: "(...) maybe you could take a wee piece of... m-meat for me? I've never eaten a pig and I've h-heard it's very tasty! W-would you take s-some for me?"

-The boy sniffles and rubs the mask with his deformed hand.

-From beneath the mask you can hear a horribly distorted, resounding voice... of a child?

-The figure tries to turn its head, but its enormous neck makes this task impossible to complete.

MUSICIAN: "P-please let me stay. P-please, don't chase me off. I've got nowhere to... go. The villagers don't a-a-allow me to live in the camp. I p-p-promise I won't p-play anymore! I'll be quiet. You can c-cover me with something, if you don't w-want to look at m-me..."

MUSICIAN: (after gifting you a rat) "(...) I mean, she jumped on my hand and s-started nibbling on my f-finger! I quickly clasped my h-hand and b-bit through its neck!"

-The corners of the boy's mouth turn up in a grotesque smile, exposing rows of overgrown teeth, which even his mask couldn't hide.

-The boy clumsily grabs the ball in his hand. He carefully hides it under his legs, so that it doesn't roll away.

MUSICIAN: "S-sorry! I didn't want to! T-this thing is coming out of m-my body. I... I tried to stop it, but I don't think I can... N-now the whole room is covered with... this. I didn't want to make a mess, I s-swear! Please, don't t-throw me a-away!"

-The boy leans over the violin lying next to his overgrown left hand. He plucks one of the strings with his right hand, clumsily trying to keep the rhythm.

MUSICIAN: "Recently, I've grown quite a bit. My mom always used to say that I need to be b-big and s-strong... to help her out in the field..."

The boy tries to hug his frail knees with the disproportionately massive torso.

"But I... I don't want to be big anymore. It's v-very hard being big. You need to be so... so strong! To even walk.Now my v-violin is... too s-small for me!"

vvvvv

vvvvv

[suganovakawa]

s’mores!

— end your summer day with a tasty treat in hinata, kageyama, tsukishima, and tadashi’s company!

third years edition <3

second years edition <3

— gen masterlist.

shoyo hinata.

✧｡ his eyes are literally sparkling when you ask if he wanted to make s’mores with you

✧｡ of course he wanted to make s’mores , that would mean he’d be able to spend more time with you !

✧｡ he knows he’s bad at nature and will not pretend otherwise

✧｡ but he’ll try his very best to make up for it , and prove that he’s a man instead of just a little boy

✧｡ alas , making s’mores and volleyball are two different activities ; and you end up doing most of the work

✧｡ but it’s okay ! you don’t mind , and hinata insists on roasting the marshmallows to make up for it

✧｡ you’re laughing as hinata tries to roast both of your marshmallows at the same time with one stick in each hand , but it’s not exactly working as well as he’d like it to

✧｡ shoyo sweetie you dropped a marshmallow in the fire

✧｡ oh dear , there goes the other one

✧｡ “ nope ! do not touch the sticks , y/n ! i got this ! ”

✧｡ “ shoyo , it’s fine , it’s really no big deal — ”

✧｡ “ i will be the one to roast our marshmallows and that is that ”

✧｡ periodt sis

✧｡ give him credit , it finally worked after a few tries !! he put both marshmallows on one stick and managed to keep them in tact

✧｡ putting both of your s’mores together took teamwork , and both of you settled down in front of the fire , enjoying your sweet treat together

✧｡ you wipe some of the marshmallow and chocolate residue on the side of his mouth , watching him blush at your touch

✧｡ “ you’re a messy eater , shoyo ”

✧｡ “ h-hey ! so are you , y/n ! ”

✧｡ “ but i don’t have any crumbs on my face ? ”

✧｡ “ yes you do ! right here . ”

✧｡ and this guy goes in for the kill and just smooches you on the lips

✧｡ you’re swatting him away with an embarrassed hand while it’s his turn to be a tease

✧｡ “ hah ! who’s the blushing cutie now , huh ? ”

✧｡ he’s pulling you into his arms and cuddling you tightly as he peppers your face in kisses , and you have no opposition to it <3

tobio kageyama.

✧｡ omfg tobio is such a perfectionist

✧｡ he needs everything to go smoothly

✧｡ does it go smoothly ? well no

✧｡ this boy has everything prepared almost a week before tonight ; you recalled him asking if you ever wanted to make s'mores during the summer but WOW

✧｡ like shoyo , he still has much to learn about nature

✧｡ i mean , for someone who spends 24 / 7 on volleyball , he's not exactly looking into starting fires

✧｡ you're actually the one who has to teach him how to actually start it , since he refuses to let you do so

✧｡ " tobio , just give me the lighter "

✧｡ " no . i can do this myself , how hard can it be ? "

✧｡ the dumbfounded look on his face gave you all the answers you needed

✧｡ he starts yelling because he accidentally lit a few blades of grass on fire

✧｡ and let me tell you , he's in full Panic Mode

✧｡ he's ready to call the fire department he's that panicked over mf grass

✧｡ you're rolling around LAUGHING SO HARD and kags is looking at you like you have two heads

✧｡ that's when he realizes the fire just went out on its own

✧｡ he's so embarrassed he slithers down into his chair and just sits there , he can't even continue making s'mores so you just take over

✧｡ " tobio , stop being so pouty , i have your s'more for you "

✧｡ he's still completely awkward as he reaches out to grab his campfire sandwich with one hand

✧｡ he slowly snaps out of it as you sit down next to him , resting your head on his shoulder as you enjoy the tastiness of your lil s'more

✧｡ you tease him and his awkwardness for the rest of the night but you know he secretly loves it <3

✧｡ bonus points if you never let kageyama forget about the time he started yelling about grass from now on

kei tsukishima.

✧｡ just what will it take for this walking tree to go outside

✧｡ you've been begging for kei to do something , anything , with you outside , but he claims nature " isn't worth his time " little brat

✧｡ finally you give up after constant rejections and begin to walk away

✧｡ " maybe i'll ask tadashi to make s'mores with me , i doubt he'll say no to that "

✧｡ ohohoho , now that caught his attention

✧｡ he's already got a hand around your wrist , dragging you to the backyard before you could even step out the front door

✧｡ he's got a lil pout on his face but he refuses to show you

✧｡ y/n one , kei zero

✧｡ or maybe not as easy as you think ; even with tsuki outside he's just plopped on his chair , letting you do all the work without doing so much as showing you sass by freaking crossing his legs like damn i see how it is

✧｡ you noticed the little shit— two can play at this game

✧｡ you sat yourself on the grass across from him , roasting only one mallow ; for yourself of course

✧｡ tsukishima realizes you're already eating a s'more and literally sits up to get a second look at you

✧｡ " you didn't make me a s'more ? "

✧｡ " you never asked , kei "

✧｡ " i just did ? "

✧｡ " politely , grumpyshima "

✧｡ it took THREE attempts before you finally got his stubborn ass to say please

✧｡ you could tell he was embarrassed as you finally made a s'more for your boyfriend , a victory grin all over your face

✧｡ you handed it to him but before you could walk away again he scooped you with one arm and pulled you close to him , an aloof blush coloring his cheeks nicely as he stuffed his mouth with the s'more

✧｡ " a ' thank you ' would be nice , kei "

✧｡ " yeah . thanks "

✧｡ you smile in content because you know you're the only person that can get away with giving tsukishima this much attitude

✧｡ even if he'll never say it out loud , you know how much he appreciates his time with you as he kisses the top of your head quietly

yamaguchi tadashi.

✧｡ both of you are excited to make s'mores together !!

✧｡ it was an elaborated idea , tadashi wanted to go outside and you wanted food

✧｡ s'mores were the perfect happy medium

✧｡ tadashi actually knew how to start a fire , but he was pretty messy when it actually come down to making s'mores

✧｡ both of you were just chatter boxes , talking about who knows what while the marshmallows were roasting

✧｡ oh shit you weren't paying attention and now they're burnt

✧｡ yamaguchi can't help but laugh as you audibly gasp at the sight of the black marshmallows at the ends of the sticks

✧｡ " omg i burnt them i need to start over "

✧｡ " no no , you don't need to !! burnt marshmallows actually taste really good , trust me !! "

✧｡ and hell yes burnt marshmallows taste delicious

✧｡ so good that you and tadashi purposely rest your next marshmallows over the fire and wait until they explode in flames before taking them out and making them into a s'more

✧｡ who knows how much you guys had , the bag of marshmallows was at the bottom by the time the two of you called it quits

✧｡ sadly the fire died out a few moments after your last s'mores were finished , so the two of you quickly headed inside since it was chilly

✧｡ even though the two of you dreaded the thought of a soon-to-come nightmare in your stomachs , it was movie marathon time

✧｡ you guys cuddled up in blankets as you watched disney movies until the you both fell asleep

✧｡ tadashi still had a sugar craving when he woke up whoops

[kazlifeadventures]

Göteborg,Sweden... queue Swedish chef voice..

It seems only fitting that I race across the countryside towards my first stop, Göteborg (Gothenburg) Sweden, listening to Robyn and Abba.... Don't panic, Aha, Alan Walker and Kygo got their turn while I was in Norway! (Before anyone says anything, Alan Walker, although born british has lived most of his life in Norway so they claim him as one of theirs).

Anyway, why Gothenburg? I hear you ask.. to that I say, why not? Truth be told it had been a last minute brainwave of a decision. I had been looking at trains from Oslo to Stockholm and couldn't get the non stop direct one on the date I wanted, so noted other trains that were running to two different cities, one of which was Gothenburg. A few google searches and some reading and I was set for a quick overnight stop there. A much better option to a 7 hr or more bus/train odyssey. Especially after my 7 hr plus trip from Bergen to Oslo the day before!

Anyway, I'd managed to score what's called a minipris ticket for this trip, and paid the extra (100 NOK) about $12.00 AUD for what's called 'komfort'. which means free papers and magazines to read, (pictures are good... My Norwegian bad...😂😂), free coffee/tea/hot chocolate (omg I love coffee... even if it's just machine coffee...) and you get to choose your own seat. So worth the few extra dollars! I met a lovely young couple on the train going on their first trip together as a couple, cute! They delighted in the opportunity to practice their english, even though they'd learnt it at school, their current jobs did not require english, so they were out of practice. Happy to oblige, although my Home and Away knowledge only extends to episodes from the 80s.. anyone remember Bobby, anyone??😆

Gothenburg is the second largest city in Sweden and was founded in 1621. Volvo was founded here in 1927 - personally there are better car companies.. but hey you can tour their factory if you'd like. It is also apparently the home of the biggest shopping mall in Europe, Nordstan. It's big, I can attest to that! I accidentally wandered into it. Gothenburg is also famous for its extra large cinnamon bun available at specialist bakeries around the town (those things are amazing, and tasty!) The city is sometimes referred to as the 'Amsterdam of Sweden' due to its canals and waterside lifestyle. It also hosts a popular annual film festival towards the end of January each year that sees the city buzzing with over 150000 visitors.

It was an interesting wander about for me, as even though I had a map, my 'mappy senses' weren't firing, so I did a great job of 'exploring new areas' 😂.  Two things I have learnt are: during winter the hop on off bus only runs on Saturdays (not helpful as today is Friday), secondly, it says you can walk the main sights in around 2 hrs, that is only if you are going in the right direction 🤣. I had also seen online that there is some awesome street art in this city, some of it seems to have now been graffitied (disappointing).

I went for a quick visit to the Feskekôrka fish market. The "Fish Church" is a fish market hall completed in 1874. The day I was there, it was very quiet and not as pretty as the tourist brochure pictures, but hey, it's a very clever design!

When I finally saw the tower of Skansen Kronan, the 1690s fortress looming above the buildings in the distance I made the decision that I had had enough, turned around and headed back in the direction of my hotel. Which was conveniently located at Central station which meant even if I got completely lost I could always get back there!

Hot tip - I wasn't here long enough for the 'Gothenburg pass' to be a worthwhile purchase, (so I didn't buy it), but rather think it would be useful if you were here in summer for at least a couple of days.

My train trip the next day was to the capital of Sweden, Stockholm, and I went first class.. yes I know - treat yourself! Seriously though it was less than 100 SEK extra for the upgrade..mags and papers to read again, free  coffee/tea, mini muffins , fruit..big comfy pre-booked seat.. bliss. Sometimes these upgrades are so cheap they're worth it! Found my hotel first go (great achievement for me!) My hotel is located on a pedestrian only shopping precinct and it didn't take me long to realise that it was Saturday, it was very very busy!

More to come on Stockholm... I just got here!