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steveslevis · 2 days ago
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i love you, it’s ruining my life
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azriel x cassian’s sister!reader - part 3 of 3
summary: you finally start to recover from the attack at Windhaven, but struggle with the ghost of your suppressed mating bond.
warnings: mentions of injury and assault self-deprecation, use of painkillers, two idiots in love, lots of angst <3
word count: 9.6k (sowwy <333)
Three weeks, four days and thirteen hours. 
That’s how long Azriel stayed away from the House of Wind, from Velaris, to give you space and time to heal. 
He would’ve stayed away longer if it hadn’t been for Rhys’ incessant questioning ringing through his mind while he wasted the days training with the soldiers in Windhaven. The soldiers that were left after he and Cassian had banished–or taken care of–the ones who had planned to rebel with Cormac and Balvard. 
He would’ve stayed forever in Windhaven, as a punishment to himself for everything he’s put you through by pretending you didn’t even exist for the last four fucking centuries. 
But he couldn’t. 
Rhys demanded his presence at dinner tonight, telling him that he would have to face this–face you–eventually. Azriel knew that, that he would have to face you. He could handle seeing you again to make sure you were safe once more, but he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle seeing the fake glare you’d put on at dinner when you looked his way. 
Truly, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to be in the same room as you right now, because he didn’t know if he’d be able to stop himself from telling you to wipe that fake hatred right off your face, from grabbing you by the neck and kissing you in front of everyone, just like he’d wanted to for the last four fucking centuries. 
Still, he swallows his feelings and keeps the shadowy wall up around his heart as he heads to the Townhouse, mentally preparing himself to pretend as if he doesn’t know that you, of all people, are his mate. 
——————————————————————
Three light knocks on your bedroom door signaled that your brother was on the other side, causing you to hum in response, to which he took as an invitation into the room. 
You looked up from your spot on the bed, your thumb wedging between the pages of the book you were immersed in seconds before while you searched for your bookmark that was lost somewhere between your comforter and the fluffy white throw you had laid over your legs. 
“You’re disrupting my reading time,” you say to your brother with a glare, finally finding the bookmark you’d been searching for to shove it into your book, “I was just getting to the good part.” 
“Well, too bad, your disgusting romance novel can wait.” Cassian says with a grimace, pushing the door open to lean against the frame while glaring back at you, “it’s time for dinner. At the Townhouse.”
A groan falls from your lips at his words, making you shake your head as you toss the book onto the bedside table next to the other books Nesta had lent to you in the last few weeks to keep you from driving yourself insane while bedridden. 
“Do I have to?” you say with a frown, forcing your legs over the side of the bed to stand, since you already know the answer to your own question.
Cassian is at your side in an instant as you stand from the bed, making you shoot him another glare when he grabs your forearm to help you up.
“I can stand on my own, y’know.” you snap, shrugging out of his grip as you walk across the room to put on your shoes, “It’s been three, almost four, weeks now for God's sake.”
“Okay, okay fine.” your brother says, throwing his hands up in defeat as you walk across the room with ease. “Just hurry up, we’ll be late if we don’t leave soon.” 
You bite your tongue to hold back from throwing another snide remark his way, quickly sliding into the shoes you’d toed off earlier in the day. Dread filled your chest as you turned back to Cassian, slowly realizing that you’d be–well, Cassian would be–flying to the Townhouse for dinner. 
The thought of being unable to fly yourself to the home across town makes you feel so empty and detached, like you’re no longer deserving of your spot in the Night court or the Inner Circle. You weren’t sure you could even use your daemati powers anymore to be honest, you’d been so drained mentally and physically that you hadn’t even tried. 
You felt so useless and alone and sad and so fucking worthless–
“Hey,” Cassian’s voice interrupted your thoughts, his elbow nudging your forearm lightly as he peers down at you, a smile–one that you can tell is forced–on his face, “you ready?”
You knew he wanted to say more, to tell you to get out of your own head, but held back for the risk of starting an argument. So you only smile up at him and nod, shoving your feelings down as you walk towards the balcony of your room, letting your brother take the lead as he takes to the sky. 
The wind against your skin is such a freeing feeling that you nearly forget that your wings aren’t the ones carrying your own body, but Cassians’. The crisp evening air nips at your cheeks as you fly over Velaris, as if the city is welcoming you home after so long stuffed in the House of Wind. A genuine smile crosses your face for a moment during the short flight, heart fluttering as you let the wind welcome you. 
The trip is over just as quickly as it started, and you’re being set down on the steps of the Townhouse before you even realize it. 
There’s a lone tear trailing down your cheek as Cassian sets you down, causing him to frown at you when he notices. 
“Soon, Y/N.” is all he says, smoothing your wind-blown hair down before turning to push the front door open.
Once again you’re forced to push your emotions down, to put on a weak smile as the two of you walk into the Townhouse. You’re greeted in the entryway by Feyre, who hugged you as if she hadn’t seen you in weeks, though she had seen you mere hours ago to drop off your favorite pastries to the House of Wind during breakfast, before pulling you towards the kitchen almost immediately, insisting you come to taste the new wine she’d bought to celebrate with before dinner. 
Before you could protest, you find yourself in the kitchen with Mor, Amren, and all three of the Archeron sisters. Mor is the first to wrap you in a hug, a grin spreads across her perfectly red lips as she pulls you in for a gentle hug. Elain follows closely behind Mor, quietly asking how you were feeling as she holds out a plate of fruit for you to choose from as she speaks. 
Nesta and Amren sit on the stools on the other side of the kitchen island, both giving you sidelong, but somewhat kind glances as they were deep in conversation. You didn’t take the cold welcome personally, as you and Nesta had become close over the last few weeks in the House of Wind, and Amren was…well, Amren. 
Feyre comes up beside you as you chat with Elain, a small and sympathetic smile on her lips as she extends a glass filled with what you can only assume to be faerie wine towards you. Your heart drops as she does, mind immediately thrown back to that moment when you were shoulder-to-shoulder with Cormac, the last time you’d drank wine. You didn’t know if you’d ever be able to stomach drinking it again in all honesty. Before you can shake your head in protest, Feyre opens her mouth to speak instead.
“My special faerie wine, just for you.” Feyre says quietly enough for only you to hear, giving you an understanding look as she still extends the glass, “I didn’t think you’d feel up to drinking just yet, but I know how annoyingly incessant the males can be about celebratory drinks, so here,” you take the glass from her hesitantly, giving her a weak smile, “just some sparkling juice, I promise. There’s a whole bottle in there that I already told everyone was just for you.”
You smile at the High Lady, a sparkle of relief lighting your eyes as she reassures you. You had divulged the whole truth to her a week after the incident, letting her see into your mind to understand the extent of the damage that had been done that night in Windhaven, and even divulged a little too much about Azriel in the heat of the moment, too. She had known you felt more comfortable with her than with any man, and in that moment you were grateful Rhys had found an equally skilled mate who could help you when he couldn’t.
“Thank you, Feyre, really, this means a lot to me.” you say genuinely, pulling her back in for another hug, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill at the sentiment. 
You cursed yourself for being so emotional lately, but knew there was no stopping the inner turmoil you were dealing with unless you went straight to the source, to Azriel to finally spill your guts, which you knew wasn’t in the cards any time soon. 
You spent the next thirty minutes sharing laughs and talking about nothing in particular with Mor and Feyre, only stopping to give Elain input on the new tart she was trying to make for dessert. The empty feeling in your chest from the last three weeks in near solitude was quickly replaced by one of warmth and happiness, finally feeling at home once again in the room full of your favorite females. 
It was foolish of you to think the sentiment would last, though. You should’ve known that this wouldn’t be a normal and happy night, that you’d be faced with the one person you didn’t want to see. 
You nearly dropped the glass of sparkling juice when you pushed through the kitchen doors and into the dining room, faced with not two, but three Illyrian males at the table. They’re lost in conversation when you and Mor enter, but Azriel’s attention quickly snaps in your direction, eyes widening for such a short moment that you’re unsure if you imagine it or if they actually do. You collect yourself before turning your attention to your brother and Rhys, who both stopped talking to look over at you and the rest of the females walking through the kitchen door. 
“Finally done gossiping so we can start dinner?” Rhys suggests as you all begin to take your typical seats at the table, yours being between Cassian and Mor.
Habitual conversations begin as soon as everyone sits down, food soon appearing in front of everyone thanks to Rhys. Things feel relatively normal as you pile the food passed to you onto your own plate, unsure of how much you’ll actually eat of it as your mind wanders back into thoughts of the hazel-eyed, mysterious asshole sitting across the grand table from you. 
Every once in a while, you feel his eyes on yours as you pick at your food, as if he’s checking on you. And with every look in your direction, you feel yourself sinking into the chair beneath you, wishing for nothing more than the ability to winnow in that moment.
You felt like you’d fully regressed back to that person you were when you’d just found out Azriel was your mate, the shell of a female that it had made you was once more. You cursed the Gods for making this male have such a strong effect on you, for making you want nothing more than to be with him, to grab him by the neck and kiss him in front of everyone, just like you’d wanted to for your entire life.
But you knew better than that, knew that you had to keep up the act like you hated him as much as he hated you, knew that you would have to wait until that Gods damned bond snapped for him, however long that would take.
So you did what you did best, shooting a glare in his direction the next time you saw him looking your way, in hopes it would keep him from looking your way and make you fall even further into that shell than you already had. 
You’d already fallen so deep into that hole during your time at dinner that you barely heard when Nesta said your name, voice sounding like it was coming from miles away. 
“Sorry, Nes.” you reply, giving her a sheepish smile, “what’d you say?”
“I asked if you were ready for tomorrow?” she repeated, eyes sharp yet understanding as she looked your way.
“Oh–Yeah!” you say, a laugh falling from your lips, nodding quickly, “Of course, I’m excited to get back out there.”
“Back out where?” Cassian interjected, concern lacing his words as he turned towards you, never stopping his shoveling of the potatoes from his plate into his mouth as he spoke.
“You’re such a pig, finish eating before you talk.” you retort, shoving his shoulder with a disgusted look, “but if you must know, I’m coming to training with the Valkyries tomorrow morning.”
“Training?” your brother says with wide eyes as he drops his fork with a loud clunk onto the plate. “Like hell you are.”
“I am perfectly capable of training again, Cassian.” you snap, narrowing your eyes at him. 
He opens his mouth to make another snark, yet protective comment at your words when the world seems to stop for a moment, a humorless laugh coming from the other side of the table, coming from the male who’d been staring at you all night long. 
A laugh. He actually fucking laughed at the thought of you training.
Wide eyes from everyone at the table focus on the shadowsinger, the air seems to go still as everyone waits anxiously for the next words.
“Do you have something to say about my training, spymaster?” you nearly snarl at the male who seemed to share an equally annoyed expression with you.
“Like hell you’re perfectly capable.” he says lowly, eyes flickering to your still-healing wings at your back. “You can barely hold your own weight right now, let alone the wings at your back pulling you down and leaving you fucking limping from your back and hip pain. You wouldn’t be able to hold your own training for more than five minutes out there. You’re—You haven’t fucking healed at all. You haven’t been cleared to fly, let alone train in any capacity. It would be so damn foolish to even let you step foot out there.” Nobody dares to interrupt the male as he continues his rant, “I’m sure you’re back on those damn pain killers too, considering you can’t even feel—”
“Azriel—“ Rhys’ voice comes out in a quiet warning as he shoots his brother a glare, knowing exactly where he was going with his next sentence.
Everyone else at the table continues to stare at Azriel, seeing through the facade to see a love-sick and extremely worried male. You, on the other hand can only feel anger radiating off the male, can only feel spiteful words being spewed your way.
“No, Rhys.” you say with a bitter smile, blinking back the tears that are threatening to fall from your shimmering eyes, “let him continue, he obviously knows what’s best for me.”
The table is silent at your watery retort, even the previously fuming Azriel grounded by the tears in your eyes.
It hits him like a wall of bricks then, all the regret he had for the foolish rampage he had begun to slip into. His chest nearly caves in as he takes in the scene in front of him, how broken you looked as stared back at him, he could feel the anger and embarrassment radiating off you.
He opens his mouth to backtrack, to apologize, to take back the venom that just spewed from his lips and toward you, toward his fucking mate. But words fail him now, unsure of how he can make it any better at this moment.
“Tell me, Azriel.” you muse bitterly, “do you think it would just be better for me to follow the true Illyrian customs then? Should I have let Cormac and Balvard clip my wings? Should I have let Ci–”
Now Rhys cuts you off with a warning growl, knowing you were about to expose your tragic past in ways you’d regret as soon as they’d fall from your lips. 
“No, no.” Azriel shakes his head rapidly at your words, blinking quickly, “you know that’s not what I meant.”
“Like hell I did,” you scoff, pushing your chair from the table loudly, tossing your napkin onto the tabletop before excusing yourself.
Azriel knew better than to follow you, knew it wouldn’t end well if he tried to.
You sat on the couch near the fireplace only one room over from everyone, listening to their low conversations. Listening as Cassian scolded Azriel, telling him how stupid he was for trying to push you too soon, and how he needed to give you time and space. The wording of your brother’s scolding confused you slightly, but you didn’t care. You only cared about the hollowness that crept back into your chest, the empty feeling from where you couldn’t feel that unrequited bond anymore, likely from the painkillers that dulled any magic within you. So you let your silent tears flow, let yourself cry over the man who you had convinced yourself could never love you, let yourself drift into a sad sleep on the couch, the warmth of the fireplace inviting you into a dreamless state.
Unsure of how much time had passed, you awoke to the feeling of weight on the other side of the loveseat you sat on and a dark breeze passing over your neck, the caress of a shadow over your skin. 
Your eyes flutter open and Azriel’s heart almost breaks at the state of you. Your wings are tucked behind you tightly as if you were ashamed of them, eyes glossy from the remnants of sleep and tears, lips full and red from trying to bite back the sobs that threatened to escape before you let sleep take you in. The look you give him is one of confusion at first, but quickly turns to one of frustration then anger at the sight of the male in front of you.
He tries with everything in himself to reach out to you, to your soul, to tell you he’s there, but he can’t get through that haze in between the two of you put up by those painkiller tonics Madja gave you. She’d explained to him that you wouldn’t know that the bond had snapped for him until you were completely off the tonics, your magic was restored to its full power and he willingly uncovered his side of the bond to you. So he would wait, would try his hardest to befriend you and make you realize that he never hated you until that moment actually comes when you feel the snap. 
“Before you try to kill me–and rightfully so–” he starts, pushing his hand out in front of you, holding a plate of the tart Elain had made for dessert out to you, “I come with a peace offering, your favorite.”
You narrow your eyes at him, hesitant to take the plate from him at first. But there’s a pleading and truly apologetic look in his eyes, one that makes you give in almost immediately. You take the plate from him finally, gaining a small smile from the shadowsinger that makes your heart skip a beat, though you don’t let it show. 
Azriel watches as you take the first bite wordlessly, watching your features soften as you let out a soft groan, mumbling about how good it is.
“How would you know berries are my favorite?” you question finally, setting the fork back on the plate after another bite.
“You and Cass, you’d always give him your melons and he’d give you his berries at breakfast in Windhaven–” Azriel says, cutting himself off when he sees you wince at the mention of the camp, frowning as he speaks, “s–sorry.”
“It’s fine,” you say quietly, shaking your head.
“No–no. I’m sorry, for everything.” he replies, sitting up straighter on the couch to sit face-to-face with you. “For being an ass when you said you work alone, for doubting your abilities, for–for acting like you don’t exist for the last four and a half centuries.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” you say with a sad smile, sinking back into the shell of self-doubt you’d grown accustomed to, “I get it, you don’t want anything to do with me.”
“I–That’s anything but true.” Azriel says, shaking his head quickly, the corners of his lips pulling into a frown. “I know I acted like that but–I want to know you. I want to get to know you and be your friend. I just–just never knew how to approach you.” 
Truthfully, he wants to say that he never knew how to approach you without giving in to his desires and without telling you how much he needs you in every way, shape and form. 
You look up to him, weary eyes meeting his hazel ones in a curious gaze. You’re unsure if you truly believe him or not, but the look in his eyes seems sincere so you stay silent for now, willing him to continue. 
“I wanna make it all up to you,” he suggests, gauging your reaction as you continue to eat the tart. “I wanna train you, wanna help you get back to being the warrior that you were before everything happened. I can work with Madja too, to make sure that you’re healing properly and not over-exerting your wings. I can help you–”
“Why would you wanna help me now?” you interject quietly, still not believing that he actually wants to help you after essentially calling you incapable less than an hour ago, “did–did Rhys put you up to this? Did Cassian–”
“No, nobody put me up to this.” Azriel starts, shaking his head quickly, “I shouldn’t have said all those things back there, I was just worried. I don’t want you to get hurt anymore than you already are.”
You stare at the male for a long moment, searching through those amber eyes for any notes of deception but find none. Your heart tugs for his, trying to feel him through the obsidian smoke and gray haze between your souls, but there’s nothing, no tug in return, for now. The logical, and traumatized, part of your brain is screaming at you to run from the Illyrian male in front of you and never look back. But the romantic, and bonded, part of your heart is screaming at you to take anything he’ll give you, to trust him endlessly.
You were never one to listen to logic, anyways. 
“Fine.” you say finally, narrowing your eyes at him. “We start tomorrow. If you don’t think it’s good for me to train with the Valkyries yet then I’ll come after they leave in the morning.”
“You’ve got a deal.” Azriel says, smiling wider than you think you’ve ever seen him smile, making your heart flutter as you can’t help but give an equally wide smile in return. “I’ll see you at ten.”
——————————————————————
The late morning sun beat down on you as soon as you stepped foot on the roof of the House of Wind the next morning, dressed in your fighting leathers.
You spot Cassian, Nesta and Azriel across the roof, so deep in conversation that they didn’t notice your arrival.
“Are you ready to get your ass handed to you, Shadowsinger?”
The three turn to you when you speak, the ghost of a smile on Azriel’s lips when he takes you in, taking in your raw beauty as you stand in front of him in your leathers with your beloved sword sheathed at your side, your wings hanging higher than usual as you grin excitedly over at them. Azriel swears his heart skips a beat when he takes it all in, the hope glimmering in your eyes makes him extremely grateful that he decided to shove his feelings aside to help you train. 
“Oh, you’re not doing any kind of combat today.” Cassian scoffs at you, as if he’s offended that you’d even think you were going to spar with the Shadowsinger during your training.
Your smile falls as your brother talks down to you, and almost instantly turns into a scowl directed at him.
“You aren’t training me today, so you have no say in what I do and don’t do during this session, asshole.” you snap back as you take one last step to stand in front of Cassian, shoving your finger against his chest pointedly. 
There’s an expression you can’t quite read on your brother’s face when you look up at him, but he only ignores your combative response, looking to Azriel instead. He sighs and slaps Azriel’s shoulder before mumbling ‘good luck, brother’ under his breath as he begins to walk away. Before you can question the odd interaction, he and Nesta are already making their way back into the House of Wind. You turn to Azriel then, brows furrowing as you stare at the Shadowsinger. He gives you a sympathetic look then, his eyes softening as he notes the confusion in yours.
“Don’t shoot the messenger here, but I did speak to Madja in order to see what she’s okay with you doing during these training sessions.” he starts, brows knitting together as he tries to think of how to explain the situation. “Long story short, she doesn’t think you’ll be ready for combat or flight for another month or so.”
Your heart sinks to your stomach at his words, disappointment settling in your core as you feel your throat start to constrict and tears prick your eyes. You only shake your head in disbelief, though you know deep down that you’re in no shape to even think about sparring right now, considering your body is running off three and a half hours of sleep and an extreme amount of pain tonics. You’d been telling yourself that you were healing perfectly for the last three weeks, but it truly has been anything but perfect. 
Azriel reaches for your elbow with one hand as you take a step back in shock, concern filling his hazel eyes as he watches your internal panic.
“I know that’s not what you wanna hear today, but I promise that it’s for the best. Madja won’t clear you because she knows you have a lot of healing to do before fighting again.” Azriel interjects gently, careful with his words so he doesn’t set you off. 
“W–Well, what did she say I could do?” you say quietly as your voice strains, using all your strength to hold back from breaking down in front of him. You don’t have the energy to argue with him about it, to tell him that you’re fine. You want to scream and cry and fight him, but you know it’s no use. 
“She suggested that we try some of the exercises that we use during initial flight lessons in the camps, as physical therapy in a way.” he says, and you can tell he doesn’t like the thought of doing that based on the tone of his voice.
“Like–doing the exercises we teach the children when they’re learning how to fly?” you retort, brow furrowed as you mull over the suggestion. “That–That’s ridiculous. I’m five centuries old for fucks sake, I will not be treated like a damn child–”
Your eyes are squeezed shut in frustration as you speak, so you don’t see Azriel’s hands reach up to cup your cheeks, only feel it as you start your angry spiel, but it’s jarring enough to stop you in your tracks. Your eyes fly open at the featherlight touch, looking up to see the Shadowsinger staring at you with an intensity you’ve never seen before. 
“I can’t let you get hurt, I–I can’t let you do something you’ll regret for the rest of your life.” he says once he’s got your attention, “You can’t fly right now, you’re still healing. I know Madja has you on bone-mending medications and is giving you tendon repair salve every damn day and I know you should not strain your wings with anything other than light physical therapy right now. I know how much flying means to you and I know you don’t want to be treated like a child but please.” he continues, his voice barely above a whisper as he stares down at you, “Please, just let me help you heal, let me show you that I want to help you and that I’ve never hated you. A–And once you’re healed, once Madja clears you for flight and combat, we will do anything you want.”
There’s a sense of urgency in Azriel’s voice as he pleads his case, his hands firm against your cheeks as he stares down at you with an intensity that you’ve never seen from him before. He looks desperate, broken even. Little do you know, he’s tugging with all his might on his side of the clouded bond, silently hoping that you’ll feel him if he pulls hard enough, though it doesn’t work. You search his eyes for any signs of dishonesty, for any ill intent, but find none, so you sigh.
“Fine,” you finally say, forcing yourself to stay composed in front of the male as you step back and out of his grasp, though the feeling of his touch lingers on your cheeks as though he’s still grazing them. “Let’s get started, then.” 
Azriel’s shoulders sag in relief, surprised that you give in without much of a fight. Truthfully, you’re too mentally exhausted to even think about protesting, too tired of being kicked down every time you get your hopes up. So in the moment you choose to lower your expectations and tell yourself that you don’t deserve to fly anymore after being too damn stupid to see the attack coming, that you have to earn your wings back, that you might never earn your wings back if things go poorly. 
“Right,” he says with a nod as he stands up a little straighter, trying to stay serious as you look at him expectantly, “we can start with some simple things, like wing-lifts and getting your back and shoulders back into shape with a few different workouts.”
——————————————————————
Your training sessions with Azriel carry on for weeks, spending every single morning together after the Valkyries leave their training sessions. Sometimes you’ll see Gwyn or Emerie with Nesta when you make it up there a little early. There’s always an ache in your chest when you see the females, desperate to get better so you can just fucking train with them finally.
But you push your feelings aside and train with Azriel, pushing yourself past the point that you knew you should, but you couldn’t help it. Azriel always asked if you were okay to train, he genuinely could never tell, since you’d become almost completely unreadable after the incident.
Your body ached after every session, joints sore and wings aching, but you didn’t care. You needed to get better, you needed to get strong again and never let anything or anyone get to you in any way ever again. 
Though you were with the shadowsinger every single day, he felt as though he wasn’t making any progress with getting to know you or making you open up to him. His heart ached with longing after every training session, when you’d simply mumble a ‘thanks’ to him and make your way back to your bedroom at the House of Wind. He would try to joke with you, try to make conversation with you, hell, he’d even try to tug on that damn bond as hard as he could, but he could never seem to get through to you. So, he gave you space, gave you time, gave you what he thought you wanted from him instead of what he wanted. 
His desires could wait until you were off the pain tonics and could finally feel him reaching out to you.
Since you couldn’t be sent on any missions until you were off the pain tonics that suppressed your daemati skills, you had all the free time in the world. Any time not spent training your body, you spent training your mind. Though you didn’t have the ability to use your powers, you could still waste the days away with your nose buried in books about how to hone your skills and how to strengthen your mental shields. 
Everyone in the Inner Circle notices you reverting back to the shell of a person that you were when you initially found out that you were mated to Azriel, but this time was different. You were even quieter, kept to yourself even more, and they could all tell that you beat yourself up over every little thing you’d do wrong. Cassian tried to call you out on it one time when you were in the living room with him, Rhys and Feyre, but soon swore to never mention your new behavior again after you threatened to destroy him with your mind once you were able to use your powers again when he inquired. 
The only one who you ever confided in about your self-loathing and hatred was Feyre, she was the only one you felt you could trust enough to talk about everything with, about the mating bond, about the wing-clipping, about it all. She made it a point to check on you almost daily after that, insisting that you spend time with her a few times a week, whether it’s only to sit in silence and read your books together at the River House or to run errands around Velaris. You’re eternally grateful for her being there for you, for her forcing you to leave your bedroom and spend time thinking about anything other than the self-deprecating thoughts you had about yourself. 
It’s almost three whole months before Madja clears you to come off your pain tonics, but warns that the first full day off of them will not be completely pain-free. 
You heed her warning and tell the Shadowsinger that you won’t be attending training the next morning, in case you’re in excruciating pain. You swear you see a flicker of disappointment in his eyes when you tell him, but the expression is gone before you can question it, and so is he, as he turns on his heels to avoid facing you as his chest aches and his stomach churns at the thought of you possibly not wanting to train with him anymore. 
——————————————————————
Azriel is woken from a dead sleep in a cold sweat, shadows skittering nervously around his head as he sits up, an unfamiliar gnawing feeling eating away at his chest.
He looks around, glancing out the window to realize it’s still the middle of the night. He feels it again, that tug in his chest. It’s a feeling of agony and panic, a feeling coming from deep in his soul. It was something he’d never felt before, something so curious that he wasn’t sure how to deal with it, until the shadows came closer to his ears, whispering mate, mate, mate, in his ear.  
His heart flutters at the words, hands shaky as he pushes himself up in the bed. It’s the first time since you’d been on those painkillers that he’d been able to actually feel you through, actually reach out for you. 
He could tell you weren’t doing well by the tension on the thread between your souls, but he wasn’t sure what to do to help.
In that moment he thanked the Cauldron for fae hearing, because he heard a muffled cry of agony coming from down the hall that once again made his chest ache. Immediately he stands from bed, hastily shoving a sheathed Truth Teller into his sleep pants pocket before making his way out of the bedroom.
It nearly feels like an out-of-body experience as he rushes toward your room, mindlessly opening the door. All he can think about is helping you, making you feel better. He doesn’t even know what’s on the other side of that door, doesn’t know if you actually need help or not, but he’s ready to face whatever it is no questions asked, to help his mate. 
You’re laying on your side in the middle of your large bed when he steps in, only the moonlight flooding in from the window lighting your figure underneath the sheets. Your wings flare weakly as you squirm, small cries escaping your lips as your eyes squeeze shut. Azriel can tell you’re sleeping, and likely having an awfully realistic nightmare considering how strongly he could feel you when he woke. 
He rushes to the bed, sitting on the edge while reaching for your face. His large hands stroke your cheeks as he tugs for you through the bond, silently attempting to soothe you, willing you to wake from the nightmare.
It takes nearly a minute for you to stop thrashing in his grip, for you to finally come back to consciousness. 
You’re clammy when you wake, sweat and tears glistening over your face as your eyes flutter open. Your brow furrows when you look to see who helped you come down from the Gods awful nightmare, and it’s none other than your mate. 
Azriel gives you a gentle smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, which are shining with concern as he grasps your cheeks gently.
“There you are,” he says softly, hands finally falling from your face, “I—I wanted to make sure you were okay, heard you from across the hall.”
You stare up at the male before you for a long moment, taking in everything you can about your current situation. Azriel has one hand on your arm and the other next to your side, your faces mere inches from each other from when you sat up slightly in the bed. It’s the closest the two of you had ever been, and it took everything in you to not reach out and touch him to bring him even closer, to kiss him and never let go. 
It takes a few moments for you to fully register what’s happening. When you finally do, you sit up and push out of Azriel’s grip, embarrassment flushing through your chest as you stare at him. He stands from the bed as you sit up, something deep within him taking over and telling him you need space, and a glass of water. He knows the bond is directing his every move now, which makes his heart throb against his chest as he turns to your bedside table. There’s a carafe next to your pile of novels, which he takes in his unsteady hands to pour into the accompanying glass. 
He’s back to sitting on the edge of the bed in an instant, far enough away to give you space as you catch your breath. You take the glass of water when he offers, taking a long sip before looking back to him. When your gaze slips back to his, you become painfully aware of the very shirtless male in front of you. Your cheeks flush as your mind slips to places it shouldn’t for a millisecond, but you compose yourself quickly when his brow furrows. 
“Did you have a nightmare?” he presses, a frown on his lips as he watches you carefully.
“Y–Yeah, I did.” you breathe out, hands shaky as you raise one to run your fingers through your hair. “I guess those tonics were repressing more than just physical pain.”
“You stopped taking the painkillers?” Azriel asks, trying not to sound too excited. “Did you get cleared from Madja? Did she say it was okay?”
You nod once, wondering why he’s so invested in your consumption of pain tonics all of a sudden.
It all makes sense to Azriel then, why he could feel you so intensely after not feeling you through the bond for so long.
A rush of relief mixed with a twinge of terror flows through Azriel when you nod, realizing he has less time to mentally prepare for the truth that the two of you would have to face very soon. But it also means he’ll finally get to breathe around you, finally admit that he knows that you’re his mate, his fated lover. 
Deep down, you know it too, but are too scared to admit it at the moment.
So the two of you stare at each other for what feels like an eternity, neither sure of what to say to the other. Two cowards in love, two cowards afraid to fess up, two cowards staring the mating bond in the face but choosing to ignore it for the sake of saving their hearts. 
The silence between you is too much for Azriel, so he stands from the bed. You look up to him, eyes shining with a look that he can only describe as fearful enough to make him stop in his tracks.
You truly are disappointed when he stands, secretly wishing he’d attempt to coddle you and offer to take care of you. You curse yourself silently for letting yourself feel so much towards him in this vulnerable moment, especially after working so hard to become an emotionless wall of obsidian for the last three months. 
“I–I’m sorry for barging in, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” he stammers, watching as his shadows insist on swirling around you in a protective manner insteading of coming back to him. “If you’re really okay, I’ll just go–”
“S–Stay.” you nearly beg, eyes shimmering with tears you didn’t know were there as you stare up at him. His face flares with shock at your words, taken aback by your desperation. “I–I mean, if you don’t mind. I just–just would really appreciate the company.” you continue, feeling pathetic as you try to reel yourself back in mentally before you start sobbing in front of him.
“If you want me to, I can, I’ll keep guard for you if it makes you feel safe.” he says simply, smiling weakly at you. 
Azriel is quiet as he walks towards the desk on the other side of your room, pulling the chair to face towards the bed before sitting down. He turns to you to see your brow furrow as he sits, lips pulled into a frown. His gaze softens as you stare at him and you know you look pitiful, but can’t help the way your heart aches for him, the way your body craves his next to yours right now. 
“Are you alright?” he questions, frowning back at you as his shadows skitter around your face in an attempt to soothe you. 
“Would you–fuck.” you murmur, blinking back the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. “Would you want to stay in the bed with me?”
He’s up in an instant, his heart working faster than his mind as he nods at you. Your own heart skips a beat as he glides over to the bed, climbing into the spot that you leave for him. He slips under the covers but sits with his back propped against the pillows, halfway sitting up as one of his wings hovers over you in a protective manner. 
You can’t help but give him a watery smile as you inch closer to where he’s sitting, looking up at him as if you’re waiting for permission to approach him. He gives you an inviting smile back, adjusting his arms so you can get as close to him as you want. You’re hesitant at first, but push past your doubts as you lay next to him, your body flush against his side as you lean your head against his warm chest. 
You try to go back to sleep, but your body is still tense against his, on edge as the nightmare you just woke up from replays in your head every time you close your eyes. Azriel’s arm relaxes at your back, his hand coming up to squeeze your shoulder gently.
“I’m here,” he says, voice barely above a whisper as he reaches down to wipe a rogue tear that slipped down your cheek. “You can sleep, you’re safe with me.”
That’s all you need to hear for your body to fully relax finally, drifting to sleep as you try not to think about the conversation you’ll have to have with the shadowsinger in the morning.
——————————————————————
Sunlight streams through the large window in your bedroom when you wake, groaning softly as you grab a pillow to cover your eyes and curse yourself internally for forgetting to shut the blinds last night. 
It takes a moment for you to realize that your bed is emptier than it was when you fell back asleep last night, the space where the shadowsinger once sat now empty next to you. You sit up in bed when you realize you’re alone, a sinking feeling in your chest as you do. 
The sinking feeling is quickly replaced by one of joy when you look to the empty side of the bed and see what he left in his place. There’s a silver tray on the bedside table next to where Azriel slept, and on top of it is a plate with an almond croissant from your favorite bakery and a cup of berries next to a glass of water and the rest of the pills and salves that Madja had you on. 
A note sits by the food that reads ‘Gone to train. Didn’t want to wake you, you looked too peaceful. Enjoy.’ 
You truly don’t stop smiling the entire time you eat, unable to fight the giddiness that you feel from the tiny act of kindness. You read over the note at least ten times, memorizing every swirl and scribble of his writing before starting to get ready for the day. 
Though there’s an ache in your wings as you stretch them when getting dressed, just like Madja had warned you about, you realize that you haven’t felt this good in months. Your chest feels lighter, mind clearer, and eyes brighter as you think about your mate. 
Mate…Mate…fuck.
Your excited mood sours when you think about the conversation that has yet to be had with Azriel. You’re almost entirely sure that he knows now, considering you’re 99.99% certain you could feel his concern for you striking down the bond last night when you woke from your nightmare. 
It takes you longer than it should to get into your leathers, but you’ve decided that you want to train, want to face Azriel this morning, want to see which of you will be the first to break. 
The sun feels more intense than normal as you make it to the roof of the House of Wind, just in time to see Azriel, Cassian, and–surprisingly–Rhys stowing their weapons away after wrapping up their own training. It’s well past the time that the Valkyries finish their daily session, so the three of them must’ve wanted to take advantage of you asking for the day off, using the hour to spar with each other instead. They’re all shirtless, likely due to the heat, so your eyes obviously drift directly to your mate as soon as you step foot onto the roof. 
He’s facing away from you, so you can see the swirls of his dark tattoos over the expanse of his back and shoulders. There’s sweat beading down his neck and you can see that his hair is slightly damp as he runs his fingers through it. Your mind wanders as you stare at him, wondering what it would be like to dig your fingers into the skin of his back while you’re under–
Your thoughts are interrupted by a lone shadow snaking around your hand as Azriel whips around, looking in your direction likely due to his other shadows alerting him to your presence. He raises a brow when he sees you in your leathers, mouth open as if he’s about to speak as you approach the trio, but he says nothing. 
“We thought you were taking the day off today,” Cassian says, stepping in for Azriel as he’s obviously at a loss for words. 
“I was supposed to be,” you start, looking down to your side to adjust the sword there as it wobbles in its sheath, “but Madja’s prediction about my pain levels after coming off of the pain tonic were wrong, I’m feeling great this morning. So, I decided to come up and train, with or without a trainer.”
Azriel doesn’t miss the way your eyes glimmer with confidence and hope as you speak to your brother, knowing that he’s not likely to try to argue with you now that you’re cleared to spar and use your powers again. It’s the happiest he’s seen you in months, and it makes his heart swell, accidentally projecting his adoration in your direction. Your smile falters as you feel a tug at your own chest, eyes flicking towards him as your heart lurches. 
As the two of you stare at each other with wide eyes, you feel a talon rake down your obsidian mental walls that you’re finally able to put up again. 
Are you alright? Rhys questions wordlessly, making you finally break your staring contest with Azriel.
Quite alright. Just ready to spar and have a very serious conversation with a specific shadowsinger, if you don’t mind giving us some privacy. You snap mentally, glaring at Rhys as he smirks at you. 
Is it finally happening? He retorts teasingly.
Not if you don’t get out of my head and off this damn roof. You bite back before slamming your mental shields back up, blocking the High Lord from teasing you anymore. 
“Well, I don’t have any urgent tasks this morning, so we can continue with training as usual if you’d like.” Azriel suggests, the faintest smile on his lips as he stares at you. 
Cassian looks between the two of you for a moment, eyes wide before taking a step back with Rhys, who leads him away before he can ruin the moment for you. He’s probably silently telling your brother what’s about to happen as they walk away, considering you hear Cassian say ‘fucking finally’ as they reach the door.
“That sounds great,” you say finally, smiling at him meekly.
The morning proceeds as usual, but you’re a little more distant than usual, and it definitely doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that he’s standing in front of you shirtless as he instructs you how to kick and punch defensively, or the fact that you just felt him tug on the bond. Yeah, it definitely has nothing to do with either of those things. 
“You’re distracted.” Azriel says matter-of-factly when you throw a half-assed punch that he easily blocks with his forearm. 
“Oh, am I?” you say sarcastically, sweat beading down your forehead as you throw another kick towards the male, though he easily pushes your leg back down. 
“Wanna talk about it? Or do you just want to punch it out?” he suggests, raising a brow as you huff in annoyance. 
“Just wanna punch it out, can’t–can’t talk about it.” you retort, shaking your head.
You’re terrified to admit what you felt earlier, terrified that he’s going to laugh in your face and tell you that he’d never want you and that you’ve been pining over him to no avail. 
“I think you can talk about it. I think you’re just scared,” he taunts, confidence rising in him as he feels your frustration and longing subconsciously projected down the bond.
“You’ll laugh at me,” you pant out, pushing down your feelings as you throw another punch. “You’ll hate me and never talk to me again if I talk about it.”
That’s when Azriel’s face drops, his hand coming up to grasp your wrist when you try to throw one last punch. He feels like he’s just been punched in the gut, like he’s the biggest asshole in the world. You truly think he hates you and that he would never want anything to do with you other than training you and being acquaintances. His heart lurches at the thought, but he keeps his composure as he looks down to you.
“What the hell are you talking about?” he insists, frowning at you. 
Your breath hitches as he maintains his light hold on your wrist, tugging you closer so you’re shielded by his wings from the sun beating down on you. 
“You–You don’t get it.” you say, voice barely audible as you fear for the worst.
You tell yourself that he’s going to want nothing to do with you after you finally say what you’ve both been feeling for the last day, that he’s going to reject the bond and never speak to you again. That’s what you’ve told yourself since the day the bond snapped for you all those years ago, so why would it be any different now?
“What don’t I get?” he implores.
He wants you to be the one to admit it, to confirm what he’s been feeling, to confirm that he isn’t delusional. He needs to hear you say it, he feels like he’s going to die if you don’t say it in the next thirty seconds to be honest.
“You can say it, tell me what I don’t get.” he coaxes, eyes glued on yours as you stare at his hand wrapped around your wrist. “I won’t laugh at you.”
You finally look up at him with that, seeing that there’s nothing but serious adoration shining in his eyes as he waits impatiently for you to speak. He’s about to explode if you don’t just fucking admit it.
“I know that you know, Azriel.” you say bluntly, frowning up at him, “I–I know that you know that I’m your Gods-damned mate, and I know that you’ve been ignoring it because you don’t want it to be true. I know you wish that anyone else in this world was your mate–”
Before you can continue your breakdown, you feel two warm hands on your cheeks, pulling you towards the male in front of you. Something wonderful blooms in your chest as he leans down, pressing his lips against yours in a searing kiss. There’s five hundred fucking years of intensity behind that kiss and it almost knocks you off your feet, but Azriel is there to wrap a strong arm around your waist to pull your body flush to his instead.
He doesn’t pull away for a while, savoring the way your lips feel against his as if it’s the last time he’ll ever be able to touch you in his life. It feels so right to be kissing you, like your bodies are made to be flush against each other, like your lips were made to mold to each other’s. 
Once he does pull away, there’s a wild look in his eyes that you’ve never seen before, one you can only assume is filled with love and satisfaction. 
“I don’t know what made you think that I would hate the idea of being your mate, but I’ve been waiting five fucking centuries for this moment right here.” he says against your lips, both of your souls humming with excitement as he pulls you back in for another quick kiss. “It’s a true honor to be your mate, and I promise to make up for every moment of lost time that we had over the last five decades in any way that I can. I promise to keep you safe and never let you feel alone ever again. You’re not getting rid of me for a very long time.”
Relief washes over you at his words, though you’re unable to completely comprehend the fact that he actually wants you back. It’ll come to you eventually, so for now you push the doubt you have away in order to enjoy the moment the two of you are sharing.
“You promise?” you say, eyes shimmering with more tears, thankfully these ones are happy tears for once.
“I promise,” he retorts with a smile, “I promise to give you everything you deserve and more, okay?”
“That sounds perfect to me,” you giggle, reaching up to cup his cheeks gently as he leans into your touch. 
He grins and pulls you in for another kiss, this one just as passionate as the last, if not more. You never want him to pull away, never want to forget the feeling of his lips against yours. It feels as though time stops for a moment while the two of you stand there, soaking up all of the love shimmering through the bond between your souls.
“Hey! Finish up your love fest and get your asses inside.” you hear your brother call out from the door to the roof, wondering if he was eavesdropping this entire time, “It’s time to celebrate you two idiots finally admitting what we’ve all been waiting to happen for years.” 
Azriel chuckles against your lips one more time before pulling away, placing a kiss on your forehead before reaching for your hand. 
“You ready?” he asks gently as you intertwine your fingers with his. 
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” you retort, following him inside to begin the rest of your eternal lives, finally together. 
tag list: @minaethrym @5onedirection5 @bubybubsters @brieflyclassymortal @fxckmiup @ubigaia @mariahoedt @buttermilktea11 @annaaaaa88 @lilac5ix @mybestfriendmademe @landofpetrichor @lilah-asteria @darlingbravebelle @wingardiumweasley @coolepowersthings @cherry-cin @mendes-bae @thatacotargirl @esposadomd @saltedcoffeescotch @scatteredstardustt @ccacotartoglover @nickishadow139 @hayley-jadee @i-am-infinite @whyonearthisyourusernamethi-blog @acourtofdreamsandshadows @username199945 @b0xerdancer-writes @anuttellaa @azzydaddy @aunicornmademedoit @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @darkbloodsly @anainkandpaper @craigorynotgregory @acourtofmoonlightandstars @sourapplex @thatgirlangelb @405rry @prrius-tylersapphire @rogersbarnesxx @aelincaddel @marina468 @lwyourx @kennedy-brooke @mp-littlebit @sstanbarnes @happypeanutstrawberry @whyshouldihaveanam3 @larissa01-blog2 @superspideyparker @touchstarvedandinlove @cheneyq @pvrkacciosan @savannah-0000 @acourtofbatboydreams @melmo567 @everyonesluvah @theintimatewriter @xtreme-shipper @sunnyspycat @romantasyreader28 @miadialila @anxious-study @justyouraveragekleemain @tee-hee135 @i-have-a-thing-for-the-dark @tenshis-cake @rubberducky-jrr @curse-bearing-hips @calisnewworld @freyagallileaevans @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @havenhavoc @actuallyverysoft @fanficscuziranout @bookishbishhh @angelbunny222 @dreamloud4610
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nenoname · 2 days ago
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It's still interesting that TBoB called more attention to Stan's control over his mindscape (And if you go with the interpretation that the lost pages are partial truths that are heavily influenced by Bill, then he's the one insisting that only someone with training should be able to have that much control over the mind.)
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Meanwhile we have a memory!Stan. Someone who apparently knows too much and is rather aware for being a simple memory.
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From the Wheel of Shame, we know Bill was able dig up all kinds of dirt on Stan but... that wasn't why he was there in the first place, was it?
Bill couldn't find the code immediately despite a memory of Stan opening the safe being a few hours old at most and decided to have Mabel try find it for him (The original concept of the ep had it far more hidden but this was likely cut because of time constraints)
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Ford did experiments on Stan's mind which likely meant using Project Mentem and actually looking around his mindscape, and his only reaction was to comment on his jokes-- despite what little we the audience know being enough to render us sobbing wrecks
(yes I refuse to shut up about this part cos the book's intro is extremely underrated)
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Stan was able to replace his memories of Ford with the swingset instead and managed to hide Ford in his Bar Mitzvah memory. And that's not even mentioning the lack of visible Portal and Stan o' War which noticeably show up in Ford's dreamscape (the broken swingset manifesting anyway pains me tho)
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He subconsciously has misdirects for his secrets that are both silly and manages to disturb everyone too
And while Bill-as-Soos being bored by the vending machine memory is a joke that's basically the crew's way of going "hey remember the thing way back in the first ep that's going to show up in the next one?" and in-universe appears to be Stan slipping up, it's interesting that they had Stan input the wrong code when it's consistent literally every other time its inputted (especially when it shows up correctly in the very next episode)
It's even possible that the safe code that Bill found could have been a misdirect too but we'll never know since the safe got blown open by dynamite.
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Stan was able to buy time by making his mind blank despite being genuinely terrified when Bill enters his mind (to the point that he breaks character and uses his own voice to yell), and could conjure up his living room (in colour opposed to his mind's regular greyscale) to make sure Bill didn't have enough room to flee, slamming the door in his face before the effects of the memory gun kicked in.
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And maybe the twins eventually told him that Bill had already been inside his mind after their W3 reunion, but all we know was that his conscious self was left in the dark for ages and wasn't really aware of Bill until Weirdmageddon.
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TBoB showing McGucket's dreamscape also brings up the idea of the effects of the memory gun manifesting differently to each person. To Stan's mindscape, the memory wipe manifests as blue flames which immediately brings to mind Bill's powers but it's a far lighter shade (maybe to more closely match the memory gun and its eventual fade to white?)
The end of TBoB and the website poem also firmly reminds us about Stan's connection to fire but there's also the question if Stan himself is actually aware of it...
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daenysx · 20 hours ago
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hellooo <33!! could I request a 5:15 AM for dreamer girl sleepover x remus? tyyy!!
5.15 AM | REMUS LUPIN
you don't mean to do it, but you end up pulling an all nighter to finish writing your essay.
remus insisted on staying awake with you, he was actually reading his book on the bed as he sometimes looked at your direction. he didn't want to distract you so he kept his mouth shut mostly. he also had this nice feeling of watching you all focused on your studies, his smart girl, you really didn't let anything distract you and it was attractive.
he fell asleep at some point with his book on his chest, you completed your last a few paragraphs and left your essay to be checked with a clear head later.
"remus." you whisper, sit on bed next to his body. he put his head wrong, he's gonna ache when he wakes up. "baby, wake up."
you hate waking him up but it's for his own good. he's so cute like this, his face puffy and soft. you can't help but stroke his cheek with kind fingers, he leans against your palm in his sleep.
"dove?" he murmurs. he can't open his eyes, you totally get him. your eyes feel too much right now, too, you only want to lay down and fall asleep properly.
"let's get under the covers." you say, gently. "give me your book."
you mark the page before putting his book aside. he can only lift his body enough to get under the covers. you settle down next to him.
"finished your essay?"
"yes." you say, putting your head on his chest. his arms are wrapped around you almost instantly.
"you're so good." he praises in his sleep. "literally. smart girl."
his voice is sleep soaked and lovely, you wanna drown in it. your bones make tiny cracking sounds as you get comfy in his arms. kissing his neck thank you, you hold onto his waist.
"good night." you say, finally relieved for finishing your work and being in bed. "good morning?"
"yeah." he murmurs. "either of them."
dreamer girl sleepover ♡
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skull-fvcker · 9 hours ago
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Morality
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❥ Yandere! Arcane Viktor x Gender Neutral! Reader
A/N: cross-posted from my ao3. Old fanfiction from 2021, written way before season two. Thought I might as well post it here—the final episode broke me, by the way.
Summary: Years worth of obsession and fantasy obfuscated his once comprehensible brain. But it felt as if this was a crucial transition. Viktor is convinced he is a good man, but his actions are speaking otherwise against his morality.
Warnings: 7204 words, MDNI, obsessive behaviour, kidnapping, viktor is delusional, yandere viktor by the way, dubious consent(he coerces you), unhealthy and one-sided relationship, gender-neutral pronouns used for reader, no usage of y/n, gentle sex, set in season 1
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In all honesty, Viktor did not know how it started or when it got out of hand. It started as a simple fascination and he had treated it as such. Nothing was wrong with that, he was a man of science after all. It was in his nature to feel drawn to things that he did not quite understand. Many years have passed since that day. Before his strange obsession came into his life. Honestly, now that he was alone to think about it, had it ever come into his life at all? Or, by some force of nature, he had forced it into his own life? The ever-changing flow of time halted the very moment Viktor had initially realised that he had more than a problem on his hands.
Viktor thought of himself as a man with morals. He was not the best person, yes, there are plenty of others that shone brighter than he did, but he found his value in his work and ethics. That being said, nothing about him was right. His work had been clogged for year's now; the chaotic office space merely setting as a permanent indication that he had slipped too far this time. Above all else, he had guaranteed himself that his work came foremost, give or take a few instances in which it did not. This case was different, however. A disturbing accomplishment that, when asked initially, he wrote off his findings as evidence, or even lack thereof. Whether or not he was believed, was foreign to even him.
Directly adjacent to his cluttered working place—being neat had long passed his troubled brain, hadn't it?— lie his crutch, sat in such a way that it may fall at any minute. Viktor paid it no mind, at least not at first, but looking over his notes and the observations that he had written down, an idea popped up within what was left of a comprehensive state of mind. Of course, how could he have been so oblivious to forget such a thing, it was written clear as day in these scattered notes. His nimble, cold fingers grasped at the end of his crutch and he tugged it over and dug it into the floor while it enabled him to stand.
Viktor's book laid sloppily in his hand, page open in clear view. "Yes," he breathed, "I suppose this will do." He closed the withered book and shoved it between his left arm and clothed side. Periodically, an opportunity was difficult to come by. He had to do the best with what he had been given, though an itch in his brain told him that: why settle for fine, when you can go beyond?
The aforementioned person that he mentioned, the obsession - the two had never even met before, Hell, Viktor was certain it never even knew of his existence. It was ostensibly a normal upper city citizen with no strange qualities, nothing special about its behaviours nor its personality. It was normal. But it made him feel bizarre inside. He could effortlessly correlate it to that of an over-easy egg slowly cooking within a skillet until the yoke bursts for seemingly no reason and tarnishes the taste of the egg entirely. Just like that, it was ruining him. Granted, neither of them seemed to be eggs, but he believed the metaphor to fit rather well. Humanity always seemed to be so fickle, so easily swayed and broken. Just like an egg.
No matter the weakened disposition he had, nor the lingering scent of death he had become accustomed to, nothing prepared Viktor for the way his certain obsession made him feel. He was intelligent enough to not let these be known, oh, how he would hate the way that Jayce would assume the worst of his sentiments. Would he? Jayce had changed rather strikingly since the first day the two had met. Nevertheless, Viktor never seemed to be the man for love, much less protection of those around him.
Moreover, he was sure that with such dehumanising language and behaviour, nobody would hear his side of the matter. After all, calling the object of your affection an "it," and "thing," definitely does not look good for your compassion. Still, it gave him a reason to humanise his behaviour—if his obsession is not seen as equal, then what's the issue, exactly? To be blunt, it served no purpose other than to make him feel better since not a soul knew of this but him.
Sure, it did not occur to him that he would have strayed this far, but sometimes you have to do what you can to keep someone safe. He was in no state to protect someone on his own, he knew this far too well, he could never protect anyone with this sickly, frail body of his. That is why kidnapping was an absolute must. Reminiscing of the past did no good but to open up older wounds that set themselves up for failure, but the first day they had formally met was an exhilarating experience.
When they had seen him, there was a quizzical expression plastered on their face, and they even confused him for a council member of all things—never attentive, he presumed—but upon realising who he was, Viktor found himself met with immediate scepticism. Viktor could not fault them, it was something he knew all too well, though, maybe he should have saved his anguish for another day. The way their warmer hand held onto his own when he reached out to shake it. Their hand was soft, softer than his at least, and much less calloused. Smaller. Yet, their fingers did not hold the appearance of his own; on the contrary, they looked healthy. Healthier than him.
Of course, with someone who seemed to not have any imperfection, how was Viktor not supposed to fall for them, much less become intrigued with their very existence at that point? Humans were so fickle, he knew very well with how his body had grown to become sicker, but they seemed so robust, so self-sufficient. It was just like any other person, nothing too special but it stood out to him and that was what mattered.
It hurt him, really it did, to see them gawk at him with betrayal, to seem so frightened of someone who wasn't even strong, to begin with, but love came with sacrifice and even if he couldn't help everyone, then he would try to help them the best that he could.
Viktor revolted and fought against his rationality, he really did, he tried his absolute best to make sense of both his actions and what he had done. Within the months, he had thoroughly convinced himself that it was for the greater good, for the safety of his obsession; to keep them isolated from others. It was not the healthiest choice, he would acknowledge at the time, but now he may argue that it was the only thing he could have done upon meeting them formally. He just could not let them go.
Months had passed since that day, but it was fun to reminisce sometimes. Besides, it was even better that, when he had the time, they were someone in which he could spoil with every day. Yes, Viktor took things slow and always was sure to leave them be, yet give them company, but watching them stare at him with a look that he could hardly even decipher anymore, left him breathless. And he didn't even know why.
That very thing forced him into the very dilemma that he is in now. Standing in front of a locked door with a flawlessly crafted key lying in his tremoring hand. It was from excitement, he knew it was. It was like this was his own secret sanctuary where he hid his most precious desire and treasure, his perfect obsession that wept behind locked doors. It was the same every day, no matter how long he would stare.
The door opened with a slight rasp, the only other noise being a stifled sob and the sound of scuffing against the floor, then the buoyancy of bedsprings. His stiff body staggered against the sturdy cane, his hunched over body barely allowing the light to pool in around the walls of the door frame. Every day seemed no closer to his objective. He didn't even know how he had done this. Years worth of obsession and fantasy obfuscated his once comprehensible brain. But it felt as if this was a crucial transition.
Viktor is convinced he is a good man, but his actions are speaking otherwise against his morality.
"Good morning, dear. Have you slept well?" The sounds of chains screamed in his ears when he spoke. All these years and his lover still has not gotten used to their living state. "Ehh... I have already assured you. Good behaviour is rewarded, please understand that this is an absolute must to keep you safe." They were terrified. Of him. Isolation was a punishment and he could never help but feel dreadful about them being punished for things out of their control.
"When can I go home?" was the concern they always pleaded with whenever they saw him. Viktor tried to not let it get under his skin, really he did, but the knowledge that they did not want to be with him weighed heavy on his mind. He loved them, they had to recognize. Their eyes were so passive; it reminded him of when he had first seen the mutation, Rio, when he was a young boy. Curiosity, distress; panic. They just did not understand this yet.
Perhaps all the days that he merely sat there and stared at them with a desolate expression thoroughly destroyed the way they would perceive him, or how he would blatantly ignore their tantrums and screaming, tapping his fingers along the edge of his crutch like a patient father waiting for their child to calm down. Of course, Viktor never mistreated them. The most he did was further isolate them, which explained the absolutely pitiful state that they were in right now.
Reluctance to accept the changing future will result in the fear of what's to come. He understands it's different from what they were used to. But one must adapt to their surroundings and become accustomed. Viktor has already sacrificed so much for them; when was it their turn to return the favour? The ever-changing future is something he will never know for certain.
Viktor sighed, watching them press their body against the nook of the room where their bed had been so delicately placed. The bedsheets had been sent into a state of disrepair, and certain pillows seemed more shapely than the rest. From clutching them too tightly, he inferred. It was adorable.
"This is your home," It was no wonder that they attempted to squeeze themselves farther against the wall when he staggered closer. "I don't have any food this time, I'm afraid," he stood right at the side of their mattress, directly in front of trembling form, his eyes fixated on the plate that sat adjacent to the bed, at least a few days old now. "Though, I'm glad that you, ehm, were able to finish your last meal. Good job." A sigh escaped him after the carefully placed praise fell from his lips and, upon staring hastily at them, he recalled the fear blending within their wide eyes. "However," he found himself fumbling over his words, "I know that you've been a little, eh... downcast, as of late so I have decided that I am going to offer you something that I'm sure you would love," he paused, almost reluctant to reach forward and stroke the hair behind their ear. Hesitant to touch them lovingly.
This situation was a troublesome one, of course, it would be, but he was not a fool in the matter. He read up on numerous articles simply so he can keep things safe for them — falling for one's captor, he had thought about it, yet the turmoil often sets in when he realises that they hadn't developed such a thing just yet. Had he not been too kind? Perhaps, it was the chains around their body? Particular disorders of the mind were so hard to force into existence; was that such a terrible thing to wish for? They looked as if they served more as a pet than anything else, honestly. But that's love, this is just his love. Viktor was well aware that a plethora of things regarding both he and his health weren't precisely right, particularly in concerns to other people. Honestly, staring at them in such a miserable state made him feel almost remorseful.
They must feel so trapped, not to mention secluded, after all, he was never able to spend as much time with them as he would have preferred. He wondered, did they feel imprisoned in their own body, too? Probably not in the way that he did, but it was a suspicion that lingered in his mind. He set his hand on the side of their face unexpectedly, and they jolted back. Granted, he was certain that his hand was freezing. But, Hell, it appeared as if they had almost whimpered at his touch. Still, he had never done anything to harm them, he's only keeping them safe. The images of the mutation Rio sitting in a tank of fluids that he knew all too well now, the thought of it being kept alive despite its pleas not to. Such lengths are just an experiment to preserve life. He understood, now. Not in the way that he should have, but he did.
Maybe that was how they felt. Like a trapped animal, frightened and alone. But they have him, they may not want him, but he is there.
Viktor's knees buckled as they pressed against the edge of the mattress, gently hoisting one after the other to get closer to the horrified individual hiding from his affection, which was already something which he never exhibited frequently.
"I want you to understand," he ran his thumb along their cheek with feathery soft touches, "I know you still don't understand why I'm doing this, or why you're here but rest assured that it's all out of genuine love." When you're going to change the world, don't ask for permission. "Alone. You're lonely and you're scared. I know how you feel. But you're special," their eyes met Viktor's for but an instant and it sent shock waves down his spine. Don't ask permission. "You're special to me, and that is what truly matters at this moment." They were about to cry. Correction, they were sobbing. And it was all his fault. Emotional turmoil mixed with the trauma enforced within them made this happen - because of Viktor.
And despite it all, Viktor could not help but feel proud of his accomplishments.
"Please," their name rolled off of his tongue like a loose screw in his brain, though more akin to a prayer. "Look at me when I'm talking to you, please." Their disobedience irritated him and sent his nostrils flaring, but he didn't allow that to show outwardly. They were already so skittish, why would he threaten them further? "Mm, I will reiterate it as many times as you desire: good behaviour is rewarded. If... If you're good���for me—then, and only then, will I allow you to go outside." His words set off a fire in their brain, he could tell how their breathing unexpectedly halted and they went completely tight-lipped. Was that all it took for them to settle down? An effortlessly broken promise?
Right, they were at their wit's end, weren't they? Their emotions override their rationality. The sunlight would be good for their health, after all. Quite frankly, the thought was unsettling, Viktor didn't want them out of his sight, but if it would make them satisfied then he could make configurations for such a thing. Though, he would have to be cautious to not allow anyone to see them. What if they tried to... escape, in a sense? It was dangerous, he would have to think about it thoroughly.
"Do you mean it?" They said, suddenly. Their head was raised aloft and their wide eyes stared directly at him. "If I'm good... I'll be able to go outside? It's—" A sharp inhale. "It's been months," they were optimistic. Why was it so unbearable to see them so miserable?
For all but a juncture, Viktor felt himself at a loss for words. There was no telling whether or not he would be able to keep that promise, but he could try. They just need to learn to embrace change and adapt, maybe they will forget about it in due time. "I mean it," he said without thought, "you have my word." Did they, truly? You should not make promises that you are incapable of keeping, but just this once, the way their expression lit up and how the tears fell from their eyes, made Viktor feel as if he had done something right this entire time. Without a single word, his hand slowly lowered from their warm cheek, his gangly fingers running alongside the edges of the collar that adorned their flawless neck.
In pursuit of great, we failed to do good.
How would Viktor feel if someone had done this to him? It was a rhetorical question; nobody cared for him enough to go to such drastic lengths to proclaim their love. Therefore, this couldn't have been an unfair thing for him to do. "We must adapt to change," he spoke softly as his fingers danced around their trembling jaw. "You must adapt to change." His voice dropped an octave, gaze falling back onto their face. He had adapted to this change flawlessly fine, it was them that had to figure out how to. They were ultimate perfection in his eyes—there was just one, little issue...
"What are you doing?" Their voice quivered. Viktor's hand slipped down to their collarbones, pinching against the soft fleshy prison.
"Ahm, eh, I am... feeling you, merely. Nothing more," their breath hitched at his actions. "Unless you want me to do more?" An unexpected whimper came from them, in which he did not know if it was good or not, but knowing them, it emanated from apprehension. "I love you, you know that. I would never force you to do something. Think of it as a friendly suggestion," Viktor's blunt fingernails found themselves becoming caught on the neckline of their shirt. "So, will you let me?" There was a pause between them. Most importantly, the air seemed to grow still. Tension so thick that you could slice it in half with a knife.
They shifted but didn't give Viktor a clear yes or no. In all honesty, they seemed to be dismissing him altogether. He could feel their body heat begin to amplify, a telltale indication of both their embarrassment and if he dares say desire. A relatively foolish notion, he was well aware, however, that did not mean anything in his mind, not in the current time. The future could come later, and his life may pass him by. But the future does not exist, does it? Not until you make it so. If he didn't take satisfaction in the opportunity that he had right now, then it may never come up again.
Nevertheless, he took the chance and leaned forward, inch by inch until his face had pressed into what was seen within the crook of their neck. Their skin was soft, warm; pulsating. "I am obsessed with you," both of his hands set themselves upon their shoulders, thumbs clutching against the blade of their clavicles. "I am, truly. My devotion, my love, my obsession for you—that will be the only thing that will never change no matter the year to come. You may push me away all that you desire, but I will come back to you. I love you." His chapped lips pressed in between their jawline and neck, a chaste kiss that he allowed to linger on their skin. They didn't even bother pushing him away. They had the strength to, yet abstained.
We failed to do good.
"Understand my efforts," his voice was barely above a whisper, "you must have seen them. Make sense of my love for you." His grip on their shoulders tightened, but he knew it would never be enough to harm them. It wasn't as if he wanted to injure them in the first place, either. However, it was short-lived, and Viktor's hands fell from their shoulders to their bound wrists, and straight down to their tremoring hands. "I have always wanted to do more with you—to be what most would consider a "couple" yet you keep pushing me away." During his rambling, Viktor heard them mumble something under their breath. "Could you repeat that?"
"I said I'm sorry," they whispered. For the first time, it seemed that they were apologising to him so sincerely, maybe with actual suspicions that something may transpire if they were to not apologise. It was startling, but a chance to hear their voice was satisfactory for Viktor. There was a lingering breath that he could feel tickle the back of his neck, coupled together with their heaving chest. They were scared.
We have to make it right.
Viktor felt his heart hammer against his rib cage, a knot forming in his throat bitterly. This clammy feeling in his chest was unneeded. "Well," he spoke with a sharp exhale, "do you know what would make me forgive you?" As if he hadn't already forgiven them, to begin with. Upon feeling them nod slowly, Viktor pulled away from them and hurried his hands from their own, to their neck. His touches were faint, but loving. Held a certain edge to them, hinted at with a distinct emotion. "I'm very sure you're aware of what I'm getting at," his breathing picked up, just as theirs did, and for a few instants, it seemed that theirs was in sync with his own. To his surprise, they shifted and nodded in agreement, but did not vocalise it.
Anxiously, Viktor proceeded to slowly creep his body forward, even closer to them than he was before. He felt his heart thumping against his rib cage, the wind being knocked from his lungs as he shakily exhaled. Viktor was not the type of man for sex, he never had the time to do it; but when it came to his little obsession, why not indulge? Their consent was dubious at best, but at this point, any hint of acceptance was promising enough for him. He struggled to rationalise his thinking but instead was only met with a cluttered mess within his brain. Viktor couldn't concentrate on anything other than them at this moment. It was just the two of them, and that was all that truly carried weight to him.
His kisses against their skin were light, virtually non-existent, but the genuine love that he harboured for them persisted despite their shuddering breathing; despite their apprehension. Viktor's lips pressed against their tender jawline until he finally met the edges of their lips. His hands were twitching, cupping the sides of their face with his thumbs caressing the skin underneath their eyes. This would be their first kiss together. Would they reciprocate it? He sure hopes that they would in some way, they don't seem to have any reasoning as to why they wouldn't. He pulled back momentarily to stare at them, only to notice that they weren't looking at him at all. That would be okay.
"You're mine," he breathed as he pressed his lips against their own once again. Viktor felt as if his chapped, thin lips were being engulfed by theirs—though, theirs were equally as chapped as he were. He made a mental note to up their water intake. The kiss did not quite feel the way that he visualized it to feel—he thought it would have felt more romantic in a sense. Moreover, he would have believed that they wouldn't be chained to the wall in such an intimate instant. But, good behaviour is rewarded. This was temporary, they knew that, as did he. Just as the kiss was about to end, he felt them lean into it and press their lips into his own. That, above everything else, made him feel like the blessedest man in all of Piltover. Of Zaun, anywhere.
"I love you more than anything," confessed Viktor as he pulled away from their lips. "I'm glad that you're mine." And he meant it.
Their breath hitched just as it constantly did when he touched them. Maybe it was the fact that his hands were gradually examining their body, tilting across every crevice, from where their midsection concave whenever they'd instinctively suck it in out of humiliation, to the quiver of the skin around their navel when his fingers ran along the sensitive region. Viktor's hands were underneath their shirt, his wiry fingers eagerly squeezing the skin. They squeaked at first, his hands were frigid after all but eventually unwound though not peeking at him. Viktor wished that they would look at him like a person rather than an oddity.
The hem of their trousers huddled against their hips, hiding away the most intimate part of their body that only Viktor was allowed to see. For a moment, he looked into their eyes for the right to go ahead, but upon being avoided, Viktor merely yanked them down with enthusiasm pulsing through his veins. His thumbs pressed between their navel and hipbones, in an almost comforting gesture. But it wasn't as if they cared in the long run, however, he could hear their hitching breath. Through dirty-minded thoughts, Viktor's right hand loomed above their sex while his other clasped against their hipbone for support. He was actually doing this—something that he had just as much as dreamed of for years.
"Please," their whiny voice startled his thoughts. "Just... be gentle with me," they didn't seem to be in the mood to fight him at all. That's good. Viktor was sure he had neither the strength nor the energy to deal with it.
His thumb pressed against the sensitive nub below, threatening a gasp from them. "I'll never hurt you," he rubbed their hip in synchronisation with his sensual touches against their sex. "I promise, I will do what I can to make you feel pleasured." His breathing picked up as arousal trickled down his spine like that of the emotions that he loathed. "I want... to see the inside of you. All of you," he spoke aloud, a hint of longing in his tone which he had shoved back this entire time. He wanted them to comprehend his love to its full potential.
Viktor's face pressed against the crook of their neck once again, shifting his hips as he closed his eyes. They were making noises, now, their chained wrists clicking against the harsh metals as they lifted their hands to dig into his back. Secretly, he had hoped that they would call his name. He knew that they knew it. They've spoken it countless times before. Granted, it was always in a fit of rage or hysteria which followed, "I hate you," and, "You ruined my life." But they knew his name at the very least.
Moreover, they were unravelling at the seams. They liked this just as much as Viktor did. They loved him, they had to. Lust and love were on a thin line, so closely drawn together yet had such distinct differences. Could the same be said about obsession? Maybe so, but that did not mean much by this point.
"I love you," he breathed into their neck, his warm breath no doubt sending shivers down his spine or so he hoped. "You feel so soft, so pretty..." His fingers toyed with their sex, jerking in sporadic movements which caused their hips to buck against him, further spurring him on. "Do you like it when I touch you like this? Like I—" his breath hitched when their hands clenched the fabric of his vest, "Like I own you?" For once, they actually agreed with him.
"Y-yes," they let out a pitiful, rueful whine more akin to someone who was used to this sort of thing. But that was inane. They belonged to him. "It feels—It feels really good, I..." Their hips were rolling now, eagerly trying to accept his love rather than pushing it away like they always had been. They were accepting change. They were adapting. "Jus—just like that, please, Viktor—"
And at that moment, time seemed to halt.
They said his name, not out of pure spite or anger, not from him doing something they did not like, but in pleasure. The pleasure that he was inflicting on them. "You're doing such a good job, So good for me," it came out as more of a wheeze than praise, though there was a hint of worship hidden within it. "Are you going to come soon? I want you to come undone because of me. I love you," his lips returned their place at their neck, his crooked teeth nibbling onto their soft skin, further forcing out a reaction from them. Just from their responses and noises alone, Viktor felt as if he was going to come any second now instead, and he hadn't even touched himself. All he could feel was his dick beginning to strain against his dress pants.
It was getting so hot and stuffy, surely he should take off his vest and dress shirt soon. The things that they did to him were things that he didn't even expect. The love he harboured, the desire he held—they were his weak spot. This precious creature. Viktor felt his breathing pick up as he pulled his teeth away from their neck, their delicate skin caught between his incisors.
Once more, slowly, his fingers gently danced around their sex, forcing himself to concentrate and try to block out the absolutely lovely noises that they were emitting. The noises, be as they may, were provided to him involuntarily, he attempting to reject the wail of pleasure that came from them. The squelchy sound of their fluid pooling around his fingers met his ears, giving a sick taste of satisfaction. His left hand clenched their skin a little too tightly for even his standards, the wiry fingers of his right hand working against him, deliberately circulating apart and snapping concurrently, a shudder running down his spine at the howl they made along with the response their body offered. Devoiding much of a thought, Viktor pulled his left hand away from their hipbone, dragging the appendage straight to the front of his dress pants, fumbling with both the zipper and hem in an attempt to pull it away from his groin.
"Oh," he heaved as he pulled away, ignoring the whimper that came from his lover in front of him. They wanted this. They needed this. Needed him. "Would you mind if I tried..." The words died in his mouth as soon as they came out, his left hand hovering above his concealed groin. Surely, they would say yes? They seemed a bit dazed, though perhaps it was his fault for not allowing them the relief that they were so close to acquiring. "I want to... feel you. I may not last very long," he fished his dick out of his boxers, feeling his face heat up to the point where he was sure it was red. "Do you want to?"
They made eye contact with him this time. The humanity, the want, the greed and the fear shone in their eyes brightly, but nothing could cover the telltale signs of love and lust. Viktor already knew the answer, they didn't even have to answer him, he already knew what it was going to be by their reaction alone. This was the key to their heart.
Now, at first, Viktor would not lie when he said that it made him feel a bit shy, or nervous—the thought of them seeing such an intimate part of his body, one of which he knows can be heavily judged based on size, was nervewracking to him. But the lack of disgust in their eyes—or maybe it was hidden between a thick cloud of lust—made him believe otherwise. They liked what they saw, and hopefully, nothing would change the way that they saw him. Their approval is what he strives for. However, that does not exactly matter with how far things have gotten. How many times has he repeated that phrase in his head?
The silence was deafening, but it was enough for Viktor to shuffle forward and shift his weight onto his somewhat good leg, swallowing the rising lump in his throat as he used his free hand to pull down their trousers. After this, he would be sure to give things a thorough wash. "Can you come closer?" He asked as he pulled his hand away. Please come closer.
He hadn't expected them to listen to him, nor to actually push themselves off the wall just to get closer to him, but, at the same time, he was not complaining. "Good job," he praised, his hands returning to place on their hips. Their skin felt so warm, but Viktor could still feel the reluctance radiating off of their perfect form. Now, this was just a question of whether or not he should go through with It. If he should finish claiming them.
The rattling chains served as a constant reminder for them to not fall out of line, and Viktor was sure that they did not want to do such a thing, especially not so close to salvation at this point. Steadily, Viktor felt their thighs wrap around his hips, and though the pressure and their weight being shifted onto him were agonising, he tried to force his way through it. The way that he could feel the tip of his dick press against them—that was like pure ecstasy. He never thought the day would come when they would grind into his lap so sensually, and act as if they had never tormented him for years to come.
"God," there was a slight plea laced within his velvet tone, "I need to be inside of you. Please," as much as Viktor loved them, he could never trust them to be the one providing. Not with how their behaviour had exhibited... less than desirable traits. "Will you allow me? We could finally become one in a sense. I just want to feel your insides around me, I want to feel your body heat against me." Whether or not they found pleasure in Viktor's begging, they offered him a response anyway:
"Shut up," was what they said. "Go ahead."
And with that, Viktor found himself slowly pushing their body down into the mattress, further ruining the bedspread and sheets that weren't even properly fixed in the first place. They still seemed reluctant, as their tone even harboured a certain edge to it, but hell, Viktor could not fault them. He feels nervous, too, of course, he does. Pulling down their trousers fully to their calves, he felt a knot grow within his throat. The thought of someone else doing this to them caused bile and jealousy to rise within his empty stomach, curling and screaming in the back of his mind, yet he pushed it aside in favour of much kinder thoughts.
A part of him wished to be able to twist and manipulate this circumstance, but he knew he didn't want to do such a thing - Viktor wanted nothing more than for them to just become wholly his and only his until death would take hold of them both. And even then, that would not split them apart nor dwindle his love for them. "I'm going to..." There was a brief pause, embarrassment etched across his face, "Er, make love to you," he spoke aloud, though it was more as if he was convincing himself that he was going to, rather than informing them.
There was little to no resistance when Viktor pressed himself inside, but it was such a foreign feeling that he could not help but whimper at the sensation. They were warm on the inside, and not the mention that their body would occasionally clench around his dick. His golden eyes gaped at their face, eyeing the expressions that they would make, all the way until the hilt of his dick finally pressed against their pelvic area. This was embarrassing.
Shamelessly, Viktor pulled back his hips, only to snap them forward with a moan. He tried his best to keep quiet, however, with the way that they started breathing heavily with their knees pressed up against the sides of his thighs, he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. They were perfect, they felt perfect - on the inside, the outside, no matter. He hunched his body over their own, using the strength in his arms—what was left of it, anyway—to keep himself up. Viktor had no clue how long he would last, nor how his body would allow him to continue. But with how it felt, he hoped it would be long enough.
"You—you're... You're big," they suddenly confessed, a slight whimper escaping with the moan that left them. Fuck, they sounded so adorable like that. "Don't... Stop, please—"
A shiver ran down Viktor's spine at the blatant praise that fell from their lips shamelessly, it seemed so heinous, almost as if they were trying to get him going. "Ah..." Keep talking. "You, ah—you think so?" He panted as his hips snapped forward once, then twice. Was he drooling? Shit, he was drooling. "You feel so good on the in—the inside. So warm, so inviting. I would never... want to stop," a particularly loud moan escaped him, which seemed to be a hybrid of both a moan and wheeze. His lover didn't seem to notice nor care, however.
Why would they ever want to leave when they have such luxury in their life? Here they were, underneath Viktor with their eyes clenched tightly, hands balled up in fists as strings of moans escaped their bitten lips. They looked gorgeous like that. It even made Viktor feel powerful to know that he was able to make them feel such a way. Nearly impossible, he thought, if they weren't tied up and reluctant to accept him, they might have tried something devious and that would have ruined every single thing that Viktor had planned. Still, they're accepting his love.
His rhythm wasn't exactly straight nor following any set beat. Viktor felt as if his movements were sloppy and skewed, choppy thrusts and shuddering muscles that he was surprised had lasted this long. He could feel himself growing close, but he couldn't allow himself to unless they had, first. They mattered more than anything else.
"D... Darling," he nearly cried out, "I love you so much—" One of their hands threw itself behind Viktor's head, tangling their fingers within his messy locks of dark hair, gently tugging him forward. A shock ran down his spine at the gesture.
"I know," they breathed, "I know you do." Were they feeding into his delusion and leaving him to feel as if they felt the same, or did they genuinely love him at this moment? The way their eyes slowly peeked open was complete bliss for him, the irises that stared directly into his own with blown-out pupils—love.
He felt his sloppy movements speeding up, all while his body became sore from the extended movements, and all while this happened he felt the drool collect on the edge of his lips, dripping down his chin to their shirt, wetting the wrinkled fabrics. It didn't matter how ruined it would get, Viktor made a mental note to give them an even better shirt. Nevertheless, a knot coiled itself within his gut, curling around his navel and shooting a cramp up his spine in an almost pleasurable manner.
His bottom lip caught itself in between his incisors, muffling a forthcoming moan. "Are you—" a choked moan. "Are you clos—close? Please—" There was borderline whimpering in tone and he could not help but feel embarrassed for it, but the trembling person below made him feel a little better about his childish worries. They nodded without speaking, staring at him through thick eyelashes. They were gorgeous.
Viktor smiled, and it met his eyes. "So am I."
It was blissful, for him, at least—everything seemed perfect and in order as Viktor's right hand clasped around the side of their waist, squeezing the soft, malleable flesh: pliant. His breathing picked up, as did theirs, but he was determined to stretch this out for as long as he allowed himself to. As he closed his eyes tightly, Viktor felt his thumb dig into the dip between their stomach and hip bone, causing a red indentation on the soft skin. Through his pleasure, he could hear the loud sound of their moans below, as well as the sound of skin slapping against the skin; the squelch of genetic fluids mixed. Viktor's eyebrows furrowed together at the sound, his head falling against their chest, forehead pressed directly above their heart. Their clavicle, he presumed. They felt so good, he didn't want to stop, but he was so close.
"Viktor—" they cried out, suddenly, "I'm g—going—" there was a loud, rueful cry, followed by a high-pitched whimper. He could feel them clench around his dick, and then they had come. This sent him over the edge. Viktor lifted his head weakly and pressed his lips against their own, his saliva smearing all over their mouth and cheeks. He moaned into their mouth, pressing his hips forward one more time as his hand clenched their skin, surely hard enough to leave a bruise. He emptied inside of them, the muscles in his thighs twitching and convulsing, his dick soon going limp thereafter.
For a moment, Viktor caught his breath, chest heaving with laboured breaths. Tears pricked his vision when he opened his eyes, and the slobber dripped from his lips. His legs felt as if they were stuck in mud, but how did they feel? As he lifted himself, Viktor stared down at the person below him, completely covered in the afterglow. I came inside, that was an accident, he thought, but they looked so cute like that.
Much like before, Viktor felt a knot form in the middle of his throat, Adam's apple bobbing with each calculated swallow and breath.
Viktor felt breathless, but he felt as if that was to be expected. He stared down below at the barely visible person he had claimed just a few moments prior; his vision betraying him. He rests his forehead against theirs, a promise of devotion. "What can I do to make you love me?"
"Let me go," they whispered in a soft croon.
"You know I cannot afford to do that. You're mine."
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homestuckreplay · 2 days ago
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Boondollar Financial Crisis Imminent
(page 877-885)
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Rose Lalonde is an absolute hero and a fool. With three minutes left until meteor impact and no safe place left to escape to, she logs into Sburb to check on John. And THEN begins explaining what she’s learned about meteors to him. John is so right to say ‘um, ok. i don't really think i get it. is this relevant?’ (p.880) I think both these two are smart and good at solving problems, but Rose is the only one who needs to provide a lengthy explanation of how and why she did it.
People in Homestuck sure love ascending and descending recently. I’ve found all the examples so far, and everyone’s had the chance to ascend, but so far only Rose and Jade have also descended. Also, the two most recent of these – [S] Jade: Descend and [S] Rose: Ascend – have both linked back to John’s rooftop battle.
page 660 John: Ascend to the highest point of the house.
665 [S] Dave: Ascend to the highest point of the building.
757 [S] WV: Ascend.
788 Jade: Ascend.
879 [S] Rose: Ascend.
840 Rose: Descend.
843 [S] Jade: Descend
Navigating via the Sburb interface is a moment where the second person perspective really pays off. I sure am Rose Lalonde right now. It’s also effective at showing us the state of John’s house (even more destroyed by imps and oil, windows broken, chunks of wall on the alchemiter, but no more ogres yet) without John himself having to run around and look.
The end of this fight is incredible. Nannasprite is the MVP, apparently able to make a ghost duplicate of anything in the house and a giant laser. She puts John in the oven. She puts him in the oven like a cookie???? Rose also helps out by dropping a fridge (ultimate bludgeoning weapon) and bouncing John, easily the bounciest of the four kids, off the alchemiter. But they’re both careful to give John the killing blow and therefore the experience points. He comes out triumphant, surrounded by grist bigger than he is, streaked with tar instead of blood. The silly elements, the teamwork, and the more comical antagonist of the ogre all combine to make this the opposite of Dave’s fight, where he was fighting alone, attacked by the person who should be supporting him, and ended up getting thrown down the stairs with no reward.
New grist!!!! The ogres drop both tar and mercury. If John has mercury and Jade has uranium, I wonder what highly dangerous element Rose and Dave will end up with. And with his level ups, John is now a Boy-Skylark, something I can’t help linking to ‘heir of breath’ – air, flying, sky, birds – especially as Nanna mentions the Sassacre prophecy just a few pages later.
I think it’s possible to interpret the spritelog on page 885, and Nanna holding the old Sassacre book in her aura, as her adding the message to the front right now. But I still think she wrote it when John was very young – page 759 is written as though Nanna is vague on how John will grow up – he is ‘no doubt’ handsome and strapping, but it’s unconfirmed – and there ‘will come a day’ when John goes on an adventure, but it’s written as if in the future. Also, if she were writing this now, I think Nanna’s words would appear in glowing blue ink because her powers seem to work like that.
The key insight from this spritelog, I think, is that when John goes through the first gate, ‘everything will change. You will find the place where the constellations dance beneath the clouds. And then your true work may begin’ which suggests that instead of building straight up, each gate will take John to a different location, and maybe he needs to find his way back to the house in order to build up again. This ‘true work’ is surely connected to the Ultimate Riddle, the point of all this that John still needs to find out (p.425) which is entirely unclear to me, the reader. Between the meteors, other planets, various chess piece entities, and mystical predictive powers, it feels like whatever is going on is too alien for regular human logic, made by something with a completely different understanding of existence.
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This image from page 884 is so ominously composed. The soulless gray roof stretching off into the empty wasteland and John’s dark silhouette reaching out to it is incredibly eerie, a real reminder of how isolated John is. Now if I’m not mistaken, this is the hole John looked up through on page 539 – the one leading to his dad’s room. And that page was also composed with a lot of gravity, really trying to make what’s inside that hole feel important. But this time, Rose isn’t around to tell John not to go in. This could be a big moment for John, and we cold finally learn the truth about Dad’s business clown troupe.
John’s ‘do you think that instead of telling me exactly why that is with a clear explanation, you can give me a series of really coy riddles about it and then sort of giggle?’ (p.885) is holding hands with Rose’s ‘I require a font of frighteningly accurate yet infuriatingly nonspecific information. Do you know where I can find a wellspring of this sort?’ (p.838). It does help that they’re all written by the same person but it’s sweet to me when the kids talk like each other; I know I pick up turns of phrase from my friends so it really helps establish the closeness between them.
> John: Attempt to captchalogue a unit of build grist.
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alfhildr-the-word-weaver · 7 months ago
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It's wild because I have exactly one episode of Vampire Diaries left and I've been saving it since *checks blog* a little over a week ago (versus the six episodes a night I was watching back in season 1) and I keep telling myself I have to watch the ending if only so I know what I'm working with in fic but also I do want to see the return of Elena (and Katherine) but also I don't want to see Stefan die (or Damon and Elena in a flashforward apparently? How will they have time for all this, honestly?) but I do want to see how they manage to break the curse with Bonnie still alive (but maybe it wouldn't be so bad to write my fic without knowing) but I don't know. I'm notorious for not watching the last few episodes of shows I love (White Collar, Psych, Once Upon a Time, although that last I ragequit over many minor grievances with multiple seasons left so it's not really the same thing) but I keep telling myself that if you don't watch the end of a thing then you just have less of the thing that you love but like I turned the TV on to watch it just now and I'm actually so nervous? I both do and don't want to watch it so intensely, so I had to open up tumblr and blog about it. I could save it another week but I want to watch it before the intensity of my obsession starts to fade but I know this is going to hurt me, emotionally and profoundly. Maybe I can stretch it out to two episodes by stopping in the middle or something idk. But aaaaaaaaa I don't know I'm not ready but I feel like I have to watch it. Help me I don't know. I need some of you internet people to come over and watch this with me or something lol I don't know. I'm so nervous I'm not prepared but I don't want to put this off forever either. And once it's done I could start rewatching. But like, aaaaaaaaa!!
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bi-writes · 3 months ago
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can we have like a pov of like what MOB would do if something did happen to simon..? luv you!
mail-order bride
your tea is cold when you pick it up to drink it. it burns you, how cold it is, and you cough a little as you set it down, grimacing as you wipe your lips.
maybe it's just one of those days. the rain is hitting a little too hard against the window. the cats have been restless. the dark one shredded your yoga mat by clawing at it under a doorway, and the orange tabby managed to knock over all of simon's plants from the windowsill (which you frantically put back inside their little pots--would plant murder be his last straw?). you left a red shirt in when you washed the whites (you apologized to all of simon's white tees), and when you noticed holes in your favorite sweats in a pattern that matched a cat's claws, you called it a day and decided to make tea (another fail).
you rub your pounding head, taking a deep breath, but you aren't given long to count down from five when your phone begins to ring.
you pick it up, not recognizing the number, but you put it to your ear as you get up to boil more water.
"hello?"
a throat clears on the other end. "do i have mrs. riley 'ere?"
you frown, leaning your hip against the kitchen counter as you turn a burner on and put the kettle over it.
"uhm...yeah. this is she," you say finally. you look at the clock; it's late, much too late. "who is this?"
"this is john. ah...captain john price, ma'am."
you clench your jaw, closing your eyes. "um...i'm sorry, i...what can i do for you? simon's not--"
"we had to call for medevac," john says lowly. "ahh...should be headin' into surgery soon. i--"
"wait--what?" you cough a little, shutting the stove off, and you're scrambling as you make your way to the bedroom. he's talking again, you realize, but you can't hear what he's saying. your eyes are moving around the room, and you frantically start to pull drawers open, grabbing a sweater, jeans, actual clothes to put on. you shed your pajamas, hopping as you slide your jeans on, and he's still talking, but you still hear nothing.
you run into the dresser, the furniture rattling, and you let the phone go, realizing you can't see because there's tears blurring your vision. you wipe them away, looking around for your purse, and when you realize what this is, an emergency--right?--you head for the bookcase in simon's study.
you toss a few books down onto the floor, your hands shaking as your fingers curl around the spine of a leather bible. you set the book down on simon's desk, flipping through the pages before you find your prized paper nestled between the pages of the book of john.
you head back to the bedroom, picking up the phone again, and you shakily dial the number that's on the back of the card. you take a seat on the bed (because where would you go anyways?), and you close your eyes as you wait for someone to pick up.
it rings for too long. you gasp a little, clutching the phone tight, and you beg for someone to pick up, please, please, please--
"'ello?"
"johnny--" you hiccup, standing up. "johnny, he...he told me--"
"wha--who--" on the other end, johnny shouts at someone to get a move on, "--bleedin' christ, who is this?"
"it's me," you whisper. "i'm...simon's--"
"ach...fuckin' hell..." there's a long, deep sigh on the other end. "oi, lass, listen, he's alright--"
"he's...b-but someone said surgery."
"right, i..." he sighs again, and you hear a door shut on the other end. "ye sit tight, luv. i'll come get ye, okay?"
you sniffle, wiping your face, "just tell me he's gonna be okay. tell me i'm worrying for nothing."
johnny chuckles a bit, and the sound soothes you just enough. "gonna be alright. lad's fuckin' dramatic, i'll tell ye tha', big brick fuckin' stepped in front of--"
"okay, johnny, please don't tell me how simon almost killed himself and get your ass over here, okay?" you snap, and johnny halts his laughing.
"right, yeah, forgive me." you hear the rattle of keys. "'m coming."
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"mrs. riley?"
your head lifts up. you blink the sleep out of your eyes, rubbing them gently, and there's a petite woman in scrubs smiling at you with her mask hanging around her neck. you have two sergeants at either side of you, captain price settled leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. you have a blanket around your shoulders, and when you slip it off, johnny takes it from you gently.
"you can see him now."
you get to your feet, and when you pass simon's captain, he tips his hat at you respectfully. you hurry and follow the doctor down the hall, and when you see simon's name scribbled on a makeshift sigh on the wall, you eagerly pick up the pace until the door is opened for you.
he looks peaceful laying there. the monitors beep quietly around him, little wires and tubes falling around him, and you let out a breath when you see him blink those dark eyes awake blearily.
"tha' an angel?"
you start to cry. "you're such an asshole."
you come close to the side of the bed, taking his outstretched hand, and you clutch his big hand to your chest. you curl his hand into a fist, pressing your face against the back of his hand, kissing his knuckles there gently. he uncurls his fingers and wipes at your tears gently, shaking his head.
"gave ya a right scare, didn't i?"
"yes, you dickhead," you sniffle, and simon chuckles lowly, wincing a little as he clutches his lower stomach. you use your foot to bring the chair behind you closer, taking a seat in it as you look up at him. he turns his head to face you, giving you a pained smile, and you let out the breath you've been holding since johnny came to get you. "what's the matter with you, simon?"
"shit happens."
you try not to roll your eyes, but the anger is not lost on simon. he squeezes your hand gently, his eyes flicking up to the clock, and he grimaces when he realizes it's nearly six in the morning. you must have been here all night, waiting for him.
"is this how it's gonna be?" you ask in a whisper. when he meets your eyes again, it's more difficult this time. what you're asking isn't predictable. it isn't a straight answer. and if he gives you anything that isn't the truth, it feels like a lie, and he can't do that to you. "w-waking up in the middle of the night? hoping that the call isn't...that...hoping that--"
"not that simple," simon interrupts gently.
"well, make it simple, simon," you say firmly. even through your tears, your voice doesn't shake this time. "make it very simple for me, then."
simon purses his lips, and for the first time since you've met your husband, he hesitates. he doesn't have an answer, at least a good one.
"don't wanna lie to ya, swee'eart," simon murmurs, and you stare right back at him.
"then don't."
he sucks on his teeth, looking away, and you tug on his hand, pulling his eyes back to you.
"look at me, simon," you say, and he looks sad. he's going to tell you something that you won't want to hear. he's going to tell you something that's been the truth since he enlisted, a reality that never bothered him until he realized he had a responsibility to keep a roof over your head. there's someone waiting inside of his house. there's a place that's waiting for him on one side of the bed he shares with you. there's someone else's shoes always next to his, and someone else's name that will always be beside his own.
family.
he has a family.
"i'll try and keep ya outta here," is all simon murmurs. you smile at that. it's a promise, but he won't lie to you. always honest, your husband. he tells you things as they are. he doesn't pretend. everything with simon is the truth as he presents it, and it's eerily comforting, even if the truth isn't one that you like.
"i love you, simon," you whisper, and when you touch his face finally, the sting of the gold of your wedding is a welcome distraction.
he vows to make this the last time you see him this way. nothing is worth seeing that face of yours like this--tired, disheveled, the angry crease in your brow. you're not meant for these things. for the waiting, the crying, the worry, it's not a life he meant to give you.
for a moment, he wonders if you'd ever ask him.
will you hang it up for me? will you leave for me?
the most terrifying part, he realizes, is that he isn't sure of what his answer would be. and he isn't sure of what you would do if he told you no.
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hoshifighting · 8 months ago
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I can do it for you
— Synopsis: After years dealing with everything alone, you stumble upon an old wishbook from your past. And you jokingly writes down your ideal boyfriend, Mingyu. To your surprise, Mingyu magically appears in your couch. — WC: 8k — WARNINGS: Smut, fantasy, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, oral (f.receiving), g'spot stimulation, overstimulation, oversensitivity, sex fluids and... HOUSEWIFE MINGYU?!
You've always been one of those independent souls since you were knee-high to a grasshopper. Nobody had to tell you how to tie your shoes or pour your own cereal; you were on it like a hawk on a mouse. That's just how you rolled.
Every morning, without fail, the alarm clock would screech you awake. You'd drag yourself out of bed, bleary-eyed and half-asleep, but ready to tackle whatever the day threw at you. Bleary-eyed, you'd stumble out of bed, wishing for just a few more minutes of shut-eye.
Then it was off into the madhouse of morning traffic. Cars honking, people yelling—it was like a scene straight out of a circus. One hand massaging your temple, while the other holds the wheel, again, what would be the excuse about being late for your supervisee?
Once you strutted into the office, it was game time. Arms loaded up with documents, and the sound of your heels echoing through the corridors until you plopped down at your desk. Your boss, with his constant nitpicking, was like a pesky mosquito buzzing around your head, while you practically sizzled your fingertips on the keyboard.
As the end of the month drew near, it was like a race against the clock in the department. Everyone was scrambling to wrap up their projects, racing against time like sprinters gunning for the finish line. The hours seemed to slip through their fingers like grains of sand in an hourglass.
Phones were ringing off the hook, papers were flying left and right, and the clickety-clack of keyboards filled the air like a drumbeat. It was a whirlwind of activity, with no time to spare for even a quick breather.
As you finally left the building, the thought of tackling the grocery store was the furthest thing from your mind. Rush hour was in full swing, and the last thing you wanted was to spend a few more hours stuck in traffic. 
With a sigh of exhaustion, you let your purse plop onto the couch, and you dashed towards the bathroom, craving the comfort of a hot shower to wash away the day's stress. But as soon as you twisted the knob to turn on the water, you were met with a disappointing blast of icy coldness. Great, just what you needed—a malfunctioning shower.
You knew the drill all too well. The resistance had probably burned out again, leaving you with no choice but to endure a bone-chilling cold shower. Normally, you'd roll up your sleeves and tackle the problem head-on, but right now, the thought of dealing with it was more than you could bear.
So, with a resigned shrug, you decided to tough it out. A cold shower was better than no shower at all, and besides, you were too tired to bother with fixing it tonight. As you stepped under the frigid stream of water, you couldn't help but curse your luck.
With some unexpected free time on your hands, you found yourself rummaging through the forgotten stuff tucked away in the drawer beneath the TV. Dust bunnies greeted you as you pulled out various items—a picture frame with a photo of your graduation, a stack of letters from high school friends, old books with worn covers, and... 
You blinked in surprise as you pulled out what appeared to be a wishbook. Memories flooded back to you as you flipped through its pages, the corners dog-eared and the edges frayed from years of neglect. You vaguely remembered creating this in middle school, jotting down your hopes and dreams for your adult life.
You couldn't help but be taken aback as you glanced through the pages of the wishbook, tracing your finger over each childhood dream that had somehow become a reality.
"When I grow up, I want to drive a red car." You chuckled to yourself as you remembered the day you drove off the lot in that sleek red beauty, feeling like the queen of the road.
"When I grow up, I want to work at my dream job." It hadn't been an easy journey, filled with ups and downs and more than a few setbacks along the way. But through sheer grit and determination, you had landed your dream job, doing what you loved day in and day out.
"When I grow up, I want to have my own apartment." Well, here you were, sitting in your very own slice of paradise. Sure, it might not be the biggest or the fanciest place in town, but it was yours. And that was all that mattered.
You couldn't help but feel a pang of curiosity as you gazed at the blank pages at the end of the wishbook. What if you wrote something new? Something unexpected, something you hadn't even considered before?
With a sudden impulse, you grabbed your phone and dialed up your friend. After a few rings, she answered, her voice laced with amusement.
"Hey there, what's up?" she chirped.
"Hey," you replied, a hint of uncertainty in your tone. "I was just thinking... what do you think I've been needing in my life?"
There was a pause on the other end of the line before your friend burst into laughter. "Oh, that's easy," she said between giggles. "You need a boyfriend!"
You couldn't help but frown at her response. "Really? Out of all the things in the world, a boyfriend?"
She chuckled, sensing your skepticism. "Okay Y/N, maybe not a boyfriend exactly," she conceded, "but someone to take care of you. You're always the one taking care of everything that falls into your hands. Have you ever thought about taking a break? Having someone to do it for you for once?"
Her words struck a chord with you, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of recognition. She was right—you were constantly taking care of everyone and everything around you, but who was taking care of you?
You chuckled to yourself as you scribbled down the traits you wanted in a potential boyfriend, feeling a bit silly but also oddly excited at the prospect. As the hours ticked by, you found yourself lost in thought, lost in the whimsical world of daydreams and possibilities.
"A guy who is proactive, kind, maybe a little bit clingy?" you mused aloud, tapping the pen against your chin. "Someone who knows their way around the kitchen... As you continued to brainstorm, you found yourself getting a bit carried away. "Good-looking and tall, with long hair and puppy-dog eyes"
The more you wrote, the more absurdly perfect your imaginary boyfriend became. It was almost like describing a prince straight out of a fairy tale, complete with all the clichéd traits and characteristics.
As you looked over the words you had written in the wishbook, a wave of doubt washed over you. You couldn't help but cringe at the seemingly unrealistic expectations you had set for yourself. Closing the wishbook with a sigh, you tossed it onto the center table, feeling a pang of disappointment.
"It was just a coincidence," you muttered to yourself, trying to rationalize away the strange alignment of your childhood dreams with your current reality. It seemed too far-fetched to believe that your wishes had somehow come true.
With a heavy heart, you made your way to the bedroom, longing for the solace of sleep to sweep you away from the uncertainty of the day. Maybe it was time to let go of the notion that wishes could come true and focus on the here and now.
And there it was, like a cruel joke, that goddamn alarm blaring in your ear, dragging you kicking and screaming out of the sweet embrace of sleep. With a groan of frustration, you stumbled out of bed and trudged to the bathroom, bracing yourself for another shitty, cold-ass shower.
The water hit you like a slap in the face as you hurriedly scrubbed away the remnants of sleep. No time for luxuriating in a warm bath, oh no, not in your world.
After hastily toweling off, you raced around the house like a madman, searching for that elusive perfect piece to complete your look. But in the end, it was all just chaos, a jumbled mess of clothes and accessories that left you feeling more frazzled than ever.
As you stormed out the door and into the chaos of the morning rush hour, you couldn't help but curse under your breath at the sea of cars stretched out before you. It was like a never-ending nightmare, a never-ending parade of honking horns and exhaust fumes.
And then there was your boss, with his never-ending stream of shit, nitpicking every little thing you did like a goddamn broken record. You plastered on a fake smile and nodded along, all the while seething with rage on the inside.
You trudged wearily from the elevator, each step sending shooting pains through your feet courtesy of those godforsaken heels. The keys jangled in your hand as you finally reached your apartment door, the promise of relief beckoning you inside.
With a sigh of relief, you swung open the door and kicked off your heels, reveling in the cool touch of the floor against your bare feet. But as you stepped further into the apartment, something felt off.
The air was thick with the scent of food, and a faint hum drifted through the air. Panic surged through you as you realized that someone had invaded your sanctuary.
Heart pounding, you tiptoed through the apartment, checking every nook and cranny for signs of an intruder. But each room you entered was empty, the only sound the echo of your own footsteps.
Finally, you reached the kitchen, and there he was—a tall figure standing at the stove, his back to you as he hummed a tune under his breath. It took a moment for the shock to register, but when it did, you felt a rush of conflicting emotions flood through you.
"Who the hell are you?" you demanded, your voice sharp with disbelief and anger as you confronted the intruder. The guy nearly jumped out of his skin, and you flinched together.
"What are you doing here? Leave!" you insisted, your heart pounding in your chest as you pointed the kitchen utensil in his direction.
The intruder hesitated for a moment before speaking, his voice trembling slightly. "I-I'm Mingyu," he stammered, his eyes wide with fear.
You scoffed, the name sounding vaguely familiar but not enough to ease your suspicion. "Mingyu? Who the fuck is Mingyu?" you snapped, your anger boiling over.
But then it hit you like a ton of bricks. Mingyu... the random name you had created for the boyfriend in your wishbook, the one you had jokingly listed out the qualities you wanted in a partner.
Your laughter was hollow and bitter as you realized the absurdity of the situation. "Are you kidding me?" you muttered, shaking your head in disbelief. "I'm calling the police."
But before you could reach for the phone, the intruder lunged forward, grabbing the wishbook from the center table. "No, no, no!" he exclaimed, desperation creeping into his voice.
You watched in confusion as he flipped through the pages, his eyes widening in shock as he read the list of qualities you had written down. 
You eyed the wishbook with a mixture of disbelief and apprehension as the intruder waved it in front of you, his excitement palpable. Every detail you had written down seemed to describe him perfectly—tall, with puppy-dog eyes, and even the long hair. It was uncanny.
But despite the strange coincidence, you couldn't shake off the feeling of unease. Keeping your distance, you raised the pan threateningly, the question burning on your lips. "How did you get into my house?" you demanded, your voice sharp with suspicion.
The intruder's eyes widened in alarm, his hands held up in a gesture of surrender. "I-I don't know," he stammered, his voice trembling. "I just woke up on the couch, I swear."
Your heart raced as you processed his words. He didn't seem to be lying, but the situation was just too bizarre to comprehend. How could someone just magically appear in your home, especially someone who seemed to fit the description of your fictional boyfriend?
With a wary glance, you slowly lowered the pan, the tension in the air dissipating slightly. "Well, you better start explaining," you muttered, your mind racing with a million different possibilities.
You paced back and forth in front of the couch, your mind spinning with disbelief as you tried to make sense of the surreal situation unfolding before you. "So you're telling me that I manifested you by my wishbook?" you repeated incredulously, your voice tinged with disbelief.
The intruder nodded solemnly, reaching for the wishbook and flipping it over to reveal a small gold star etched into the back cover. "See this?" he said, pointing to the star. "This is a manifestation charm. It's what brought me here."
Your frown deepened as you studied the tiny symbol, your mind struggling to comprehend the bizarre turn of events. "But... how?" you muttered, your thoughts racing a mile a minute.
The intruder's eyes widened with curiosity as he looked up at you. "Where did you get this book?" he asked, his voice tinged with urgency.
You racked your brain, trying to recall where you had acquired the wishbook all those years ago. And then it hit you like a bolt of lightning. "A mystique store," you blurted out, the memories flooding back in a rush. "I bought it from a mystique store years ago."
You sank onto the couch beside him, the weight of the revelation settling over you like a heavy blanket. It was hard to wrap your head around the idea that a simple book could hold such mysterious powers.
You turned to the intruder, your curiosity piqued as you sought answers to the questions burning in your mind. "Where did you come from?" you asked, your voice laced with both apprehension and fascination.
The intruder hesitated for a moment, his gaze flickering away as if he were wrestling with his response. "I... I don't know," he admitted finally, his voice tinged with uncertainty. "It's all a bit... fuzzy."
You furrowed your brow in confusion, wondering how someone could not know their own age or origins. "What do you mean, fuzzy?" you pressed, your curiosity growing by the second.
The intruder sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I woke up on your couch with no memory of how I got here or where I came from," he explained, his expression troubled. "All I know is that I felt drawn to you somehow, like I was meant to find you."
"You didn't have a life before?" you asked, your voice tinged with disbelief as you looked at the intruder sitting beside you.
He nodded solemnly, his expression tinged with sadness. "Yes, I did. But it's all... blurry, like a dream that I can't quite remember."
Your brow furrowed in confusion. "Where did you live before?" you pressed, your curiosity getting the better of you.
The intruder's gaze drifted towards the window, his hands gesturing vaguely in front of him. "Somewhere like this," he murmured, his voice distant. 
You followed his gaze, staring out at the endless expanse of buildings and lights stretching out before you. It was a sight you had grown accustomed to over the years, but seeing it through the eyes of someone who had never experienced it before brought a strange sense of wonder.
"And now?" you prompted, turning back to the intruder beside you.
He shrugged, a wistful smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Now, I'm here," he replied simply, his eyes meeting yours with hope.
You blinked in surprise as the intruder broke the silence, his words cutting through the air like a knife. "I fixed the shower," he announced, a hint of pride in his voice.
You widened your eyebrows, your mind struggling to process his words. "You... fixed the shower?" you repeated, your voice tinged with disbelief.
The intruder nodded eagerly, a pleased smile spreading across his face. "Yeah, it was just a small problem with the resistance. I managed to sort it out," he explained, his tone casual as if he hadn't just performed a miracle.
You couldn't help but stare at him in astonishment, your mind racing with a million questions. How had he known there was a problem with the shower? And more importantly, how had he fixed it so quickly?
But before you could voice your thoughts, he continued, "Oh, and I went to the supermarket and washed your clothes too."
Your jaw practically hit the floor as his words sank in. "You... went to the supermarket?" you echoed, your voice barely above a whisper.
The intruder nodded, his smile widening at your stunned expression. "Yep, got everything on your list. And the laundry was piling up, so I took care of that too," he said nonchalantly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
You were at a loss for words, your mind reeling with the sheer absurdity of the situation. This man, this stranger who had magically appeared in your living room, had taken it upon himself to fix your shower, do your grocery shopping, and even wash your clothes—all without being asked.
"But... why?" you finally managed to sputter out, your voice tinged with confusion.
The intruder shrugged, a playful twinkle in his eyes. "Why not?" he replied simply, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world.
"Come here," he beckoned, motioning for you to follow him into the kitchen. With a mixture of curiosity and apprehension, you trailed after him, unsure of what to expect.
As he lifted the lid of the pan on the stove, a delicious aroma wafted up, making your mouth water. "Wow," you murmured, impressed by the sight of the freshly cooked food before you. "You cooked all of this?"
He nodded proudly, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Yep, thought I'd whip up a little something for us to eat," he replied, gesturing towards the table where two plates were already set.
You couldn't help but smile at his thoughtfulness, grateful for the unexpected gesture. But then your eyes drifted to the clothesline in the corner of the room, where an array of freshly washed clothing hung neatly.
"Oh my god," you gasped, your hand flying to cover your face in embarrassment. "You washed everything?"
The intruder followed your gaze, his eyes landing on the recently laundered garments with a hint of amusement. "Yep, everything," he confirmed, his tone light and playful.
Your cheeks flushed crimson as you realized just how intimate some of the items hanging on the line were. "I... uh..." you stammered, at a loss for words.
He grinned mischievously, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Hey, I gotta say, those puppy-stamped underwear of yours are pretty cute," he teased, a playful glint in his eye.
You buried your face in your hands, the heat of embarrassment spreading across your cheeks. "Oh my god, stop," you groaned, mortified by the unexpected turn of events.
[...]
As you emerged from the warmth of the bath, wrapped snugly in your pajamas, you found Mingyu already fast asleep on the couch, curled up into a small ball. Despite the strangeness of the situation, a pang of sympathy tugged at your heartstrings as you watched him sleep.
You couldn't deny that he looked rather adorable, all shrunken and peaceful in his slumber. If you had asked for a short man in your wishbook, he certainly fit the couch.
But as you glanced at your bed, you knew that letting him sleep there was out of the question. He may have magically appeared in your life, but he was still a stranger, and you weren't about to let your guard down just yet.
Sure, you could kick him out onto the cold streets, but the thought left a bitter taste in your mouth. You weren't heartless, after all, and it was clear that he didn't have a place to go. He hadn't asked to be here, and the circumstances of his arrival were still shrouded in mystery.
But as you glanced at him sleeping peacefully, his features softened in the glow of the moonlight, you couldn't help but feel a strange sense of responsibility towards him. After all, he was just as much a victim of whatever strange forces had brought him here as you were.
With a sigh, you resigned yourself to the fact that he would have to stay—for now, at least. You could figure out the details in the morning, once the shock of the day had worn off and your mind was clearer.
As you stirred awake to the aroma of freshly brewed coffeee, you nearly jumped out of your skin before remembering that Mingyu was there. With a mixture of relief and gratitude, you swung your legs over the side of the bed and rubbed the sleep from your eyes.
As you got ready for work, the thought of facing another chaotic day loomed over you like a dark cloud. But as you emerged into the living room, the sight of a steaming mug of coffee waiting for you on the table brought a small smile to your face.
You took a tentative sip, and It was so good that you couldn't help but shake off the idea of going to the coffee shop today.
"Mingyu, I'm leaving," you announced, grabbing your bag and heading towards the door. "I'll be back at 7pm. Do you need anything?"
Just as you were about to step out, Mingyu appeared in the living room, a packed lunch in his hands. "Here," he said, offering you the lunchbox. "Eat well, and I'll be waiting for you."
You couldn't help but smile at his thoughtfulness, but as your eyes fell on him, clad in one of your shirts from a rock band, you couldn't suppress a laugh. The shirt was stretched to its limits, barely covering his tummy while his biceps threatened to tear through the fabric.
"Okay, I'm definitely going to buy you some clothes," you chuckled, shaking your head in amusement.
Mingyu raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "Can't I walk without them?" he teased, his eyes dancing with mischief.
You widened your eyes in mock horror. "Of course not!" you exclaimed, feigning shock. "You can't just walk naked on the street!"
Mingyu tilted his head, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Can't I?" he countered, a playful grin spreading across his face.
You couldn't help but laugh at his antics, shaking your head in disbelief. "No, you definitely can't," you replied with a chuckle. "Now, behave yourself while I'm gone, okay?"
Mingyu nodded solemnly, his smile widening. "I promise," he said, his eyes sparkling with amusement.
As you sat down to eat your lunch at work, you couldn't help but notice the curious glances from your coworkers. They watched you with envious eyes as you savored each bite of the delicious meal that Mingyu had prepared for you.
Suppressing a smile, you couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude towards Mingyu for his thoughtfulness. Despite the strange circumstances of his arrival, he had gone out of his way to make sure you were well-fed and taken care of.
As you enjoyed the flavors of the homemade meal, you couldn't help but feel a warmth spread through you. It was a simple gesture, but it spoke volumes about Mingyu's character and the bond that was beginning to form between the two of you.
As the evening rolled around and you left work, you were determined to fulfill your promise to yourself and Mingyu. You headed to the shopping district, the image of Mingyu looking like a doll lingering in your mind.
You browsed through the racks of clothing, selecting pieces that you thought would suit him perfectly. It was a strange feeling, shopping for someone else with such care and attention, but with each item you picked out, you couldn't help but imagine how handsome Mingyu would look in them.
You found yourself spending more on clothing for Mingyu than you did for yourself, but you didn't mind in the slightest. After all, he was the one who needed them the most, and you were determined to make sure he looked his best.
With each new outfit you selected, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement bubbling up inside you. This was your chance to dress Mingyu exactly how you had imagined your dream boyfriend to be, and you were going to make sure he looked absolutely perfect.
You arrived home to find Mingyu sitting on the couch, your wishbook in his hands. As you entered, he quickly put the book aside and rose to help you with the heavy bags of clothing.
"You didn't need to buy all of these," he said, his expression turning slightly sullen as he glanced at the bags.
You brushed off his concern with a wave of your hand, a smile playing at the corners of your lips. "It's fine, Mingyu," you reassured him. "I have a good salary now, and it's nice to be able to buy things for someone else, not just for myself."
As you settled onto the couch, Mingyu's gaze lingered on the bags of clothing beside you. There was a hint of curiosity in his eyes, as if he were eager to see what you had bought.
Mingyu removed his shirt as you sat on the couch, unpacking the bags of clothing around you. You couldn't help but steal a glance at his form, admiring the way the fabric of his jeans clung to his legs and the muscles rippled beneath his skin.
Noticing your gaze, Mingyu chuckled softly. "Like what you see?" he teased, a playful twinkle in his eyes.
You blushed slightly, feeling caught off guard by his remark. "Um, I was just admiring the clothes," you replied, trying to hide your embarrassment.
Mingyu raised an eyebrow, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "Well, how about I model them for you?" he suggested, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
You couldn't help but laugh at his suggestion, the tension melting away as you relaxed into the playful banter. "Like a parade?" you asked, a smile playing at the corners of your lips.
Mingyu nodded eagerly, already reaching for one of the bags. "Exactly!" he exclaimed, his excitement contagious.
As he began to try on the new clothes, you couldn't help but feel a surge of anticipation. It was like watching a fashion show, with Mingyu as the star of the runway.
With each new outfit he tried on, you couldn't help but admire how effortlessly he pulled off each look. From casual jeans and a t-shirt to a sleek button-down shirt, he looked absolutely stunning in everything he wore.
s you walked towards him with the silver chain in hand, Mingyu watched you with a curious expression, his eyes following your every move. You could feel the weight of his gaze on you as you approached, a strange tension building between the two of you.
With a slight frown of concentration, you struggled to fasten the chain around his neck, your fingers fumbling with the clasp as you tried to maneuver it into place. Mingyu stood patiently, his eyes fixed on you as you teetered on the tips of your toes, trying to reach him.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, you managed to secure the chain around his neck, the silver gleaming against his dark shirt. As you took a step back, you couldn't help but feel a rush of adrenaline coursing through you. It was the closest you had ever been to Mingyu since he appeared in your life.
Taking a deep breath to steady yourself, you met Mingyu's gaze with a shy smile. "There you go," 
Mingyu glanced at himself in the mirror, adjusting the silver chain around his neck before walking over to you with a grateful smile.
"Thank you," he said softly, his eyes meeting yours with warmth and sincerity. "You didn't have to do all this for me."
You returned his smile, shaking your head. "It's the least I could do," you replied, your tone light. "After all, you didn't exactly ask to be summoned," you added, making air quotes with your fingers for emphasis.
Mingyu chuckled, the sound warm and melodious. "I suppose you have a point there," he conceded, a playful glint in his eyes. "But I'm certainly not complaining about it."
"Hmm, Mingyu, do you want to hang out?" you asked, a smile playing at the corners of your lips.
Mingyu frowned slightly, looking at you with curiosity. "Where?" he inquired, his tone tinged with uncertainty.
You grinned, feeling a rush of excitement at the prospect of showing Mingyu a good time. "Just wait here, I'll get ready," you replied, hurrying off to your room to change.
It was Friday night, and you were used to spending it with your friends, going out and having a good time. And what better way to show Mingyu a bit of the city than to take him out with you?
You turned around to find Mingyu standing in your bedroom, his eyes lingering on your black dress and the silver chain adorning your neck. His gaze was filled with curiosity as he took in your appearance.
A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you met his eyes. "Well, what do you think?" you asked, a hint of playfulness in your voice.
Mingyu raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing at his lips. "Are we matching tonight?" he teased, gesturing to his own black shirt and jeans.
You chuckled, feeling a warmth spread through you at his playful banter. "I guess we are," you replied, a smile dancing in your eyes. 
Mingyu's eyes softened, a genuine smile lighting up his face. "You look beautiful," he said softly, his words filled with sincerity.
A blush crept up your cheeks at his compliment, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of happiness at his words. "Thank you," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
As you entered the bustling club with Mingyu by your side, the loud music and flashing lights engulfed you both. Mingyu seemed to take it all in stride, moving through the crowd with an ease that suggested he was no stranger to such environments.
You couldn't help but notice the curious glances directed at him as you made your way to the bar. Tall, charismatic, and undeniably handsome, Mingyu certainly attracted attention wherever he went. You couldn't help but feel a sense of pride knowing that you had such a captivating companion by your side.
Taking a seat at the bar, you turned to Mingyu with a smile. "What'll it be?" you asked, raising your voice slightly to be heard over the music.
Mingyu glanced at you, a playful glint in his eyes. "Surprise me," he replied, his voice tinged with excitement.
You grinned, turning to the bartender to place your order, as you waited for your drinks to arrive.
As Mingyu glanced around the crowded club, his eyes filled with curiosity, he turned to you with a thoughtful expression.
"Hey, do boyfriend and girlfriend usually come to places like this?" he asked, his voice slightly raised to be heard over the music.
You paused for a moment, considering his question carefully. Did Mingyu see the two of you as boyfriend and girlfriend? The thought sent a flutter of excitement through you, but you didn't want to jump to conclusions.
"Well, sometimes," you replied, choosing your words carefully. "Couples come here to have fun and let loose together."
Mingyu nodded thoughtfully, his gaze lingering on yours. "So, are we... like that?" he asked, a hint of uncertainty in his voice.
You felt your heart skip a beat at his question, the possibility of being more than just friends with Mingyu sending a thrill through you. But you didn't want to assume anything without knowing how he felt.
"I'm not sure," you admitted honestly, meeting his gaze with sincerity. "What do you think?"
"Well, you wrote in your wishbook that you wanted a boyfriend," he replied, his voice tinged with uncertainty.
Your eyes widened in surprise, realization dawning on you. "Oh, right," you said, a hint of embarrassment creeping into your voice. "I guess I did, didn't I?"
Mingyu shrugged, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "I guess I just wanted to understand," he admitted. "To see if... if maybe I could be that person for you."
You couldn't help but chuckle at his playful tone. "I suppose you are," you admitted, feeling a warmth spread through you at the thought.
After a moment of silence, you couldn't help but ask the question that had been nagging at the back of your mind. "Am I even your type?" you blurted out, unable to contain your curiosity any longer.
Mingyu's eyes traveled over you, his gaze intense as he took in your appearance. He seemed to be studying you, his expression unreadable.
You held your breath, waiting for his response, unsure of what to expect. The tension between you was palpable, as you waited for Mingyu's answer.
He bit his lip, a gesture that sent a wave of heat coursing through you. "You're exactly my type…" he replied, his voice husky.
"Is that so?" you teased, raising an eyebrow in mock skepticism. "Well, you'll have to work harder than that to win me over."
Mingyu chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Oh, I plan to," he replied, his voice dripping with confidence. "After all, I'm everything you wanted, right?"
You couldn't help but shake your head at his boldness, feeling a rush of excitement coursing through you at the prospect of what the night might hold.
"Maybe," you replied with a grin, unable to resist the playful banter. "But I'll believe it when I see it."
Mingyu leaned in closer, his breath warm against your ear as he whispered softly, sending shivers down your spine. "I read the last pages of your wishbook," he murmured, his voice low and husky. "And let me tell you, I can definitely make all your wildest dreams come true."
And in minutes, everything happened. 
You found yourself naked on your couch, your body laid bare before Mingyu, who gazed at you with desire in his eyes. Your legs were spread wide, draped over his shoulders as he knelt before you, his hands trailing over your skin with a gentle touch.
As you held your wish book in your hand, Mingyu's voice broke through the silence, his tone teasing yet filled with curiosity. "So, what's your first wish?" he asked, his eyes locked on yours.
You felt your cheeks flush with heat, embarrassment flooding through you at the thought of revealing your innermost desires. But with Mingyu's gaze burning into you, you couldn't hold back.
"I... I wished for a guy who could make me cum on his tongue," you stuttered, your voice barely above a whisper.
Mingyu's eyes darkened with desire at your words, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. 
As Mingyu's tongue licked a slow, deliberate stripe along your folds, a shiver of pleasure shot through your body, leaving you trembling. You gripped the wish book tightly in one hand, your nails digging into the pages as Mingyu's mouth worked its magic on you. "Oh fuck, Mingyu!" 
With each flick of his tongue against your clit, you felt yourself unraveling. His arms wrapped around you, holding you steady as you writhed and moaned, unable to control the flood of pleasure coursing through you.
Your other hand tangled in Mingyu's locks, pulling him closer as he continued to devour your pussy. His tongue swirled around your bud, sending waves of pleasure crashing over you in relentless waves.
You moaned his name over and over, the sound filling the air as Mingyu's tongue drove you closer and closer to the edge. You felt yourself dripping with arousal, the combination of Mingyu's saliva and your own juices coating the couch beneath you.
As Mingyu's tongue penetrated slightly into your pussy, a gasp escaped your lips, the sensation sending a jolt of pleasure coursing through your body. You looked at him with wide eyes, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you struggled to form coherent words.
"What... what are you doing?" you managed to gasp out, your voice laced with desire and anticipation.
But before you could even finish your question, Mingyu's tongue penetrated you again, sending a shock shooting through your body. Your legs shook on his arms, your whole body trembling with need.
"Oh Mingyu, that feels so good" you moaned, your voice filled with a mixture of pleasure and desperation.
Mingyu's lips curled into a wicked grin as he continued to pleasure you with his tongue, his movements becoming faster. He sucked on your clit, flicking it with his tongue before diving deep inside you once again, driving you to the brink of orgasm with each tantalizing stroke.
As you held onto Mingyu's locks tighter, he moaned in response, the vibrations sending a surge of pleasure on your pussy. You could feel yourself teetering on the edge of your orgasm, your body trembling pathetically.
"I'm... I'm cumming," you gasped, your voice strained with the effort of holding back your release.
Mingyu looked up at you, his eyes dark as he asked, "Are you going to cum on my tongue, just like you wished for?"
You nodded desperately, your whole body tensing with anticipation as you felt the waves of pleasure building inside you. The wishbook slipped from your grasp, completely forgotten as Mingyu's tongue continued to lap your clit.
"Yes," you moaned, your voice barely above a whisper. "Yes, just like that."
And with a final flick of his tongue against your clit, Mingyu pushed you over the edge, making you come undone, riding his face to ride your orgasm, your mind clouded with the intensity of your orgasm.
As Mingyu got up, holding the forgotten wishbook in his hands, he turned to you with a curious expression. "Let's see what your next wish is," he said, his voice tinged with excitement.
Your hands, still trembling from the recent orgasm, reached out to take the wishbook from him. You flipped through the pages until you found the next wish, your heart racing.
And as you read the words on the page, your cheeks flushed with heat at the explicit nature of the wish. It was about a guy who didn't go easy on you, who took control and pushed you to your limits.
You looked up at Mingyu, your eyes filled with apprehension. "Is... is this something you can do?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Mingyu's lips curled into a wicked grin as he met your gaze. "I can do whatever you want," he replied.
As Mingyu lowered his pants, revealing his big, throbbing cock, you couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement. It was something you had written in your wishbook — a cock that fulfills you — but you hadn't expected it to be quite so... big.
His cock laid heavy in his hand as he stroked himself, the slick sound of precum making itself known with each movement. You felt your cheeks flush red as you watched.
"It... it won't fit," you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper as you met Mingyu's gaze.
Mingyu chuckled softly, "Don't worry," he reassured you. "I'll make it fit."
As Mingyu laid you down comfortably, spreading you wider, you couldn't help but feel embarrassed. His cock slid against your pussy, teasing but not yet penetrating, and you squirmed beneath him, feeling yourself growing wetter.
You almost covered your face in shame, feeling exposed and vulnerable under his intense gaze. But Mingyu's teasing words only served to fuel the fire burning within you.
"That's all you wanted, isn't it?" he teased, his voice laced with desire as he looked into your eyes. "A guy with a big cock to fuck your brains out? Well, lucky for you, I'm here, hm?"
His words sent a thrill of excitement coursing through you, and you couldn't help but arch your hips, silently urging him to take you.
You wanted nothing more than to feel him deep inside you, filling you completely and making you cum. 
As Mingyu continued to tease you, he remarked on your hectic work schedule. "You work so hard," he murmured, his voice low and seductive. "You need someone to take all that stress out of you."
His words hit home, resonating with the part of you that longed for release, both physically and emotionally.
You couldn't deny the truth in his words; after all, you had spent so long shouldering the weight of your responsibilities alone.
As Mingyu's cock teased against your clit, the friction making you roll your eyes, you felt yourself teetering on the edge of ecstasy. Every movement, every touch drove you closer and closer to the brink, your senses overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of it all.
And just when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, when you felt yourself on the verge of exploding with pleasure, Mingyu slammed his hard cock inside of your cunt with a force that took your breath away. Your pussy stretched around him, so tight and so full, that you could barely contain the overwhelming sensation.
As you arched your back in pleasure, the sensation of Mingyu's cock buried deep inside you driving you to new heights of ecstasy, he teased you mercilessly.
"I'm still," he murmured between moans "You're almost cumming."
Your pussy clenched around him with each tantalizing movement. Mingyu's cock felt impossibly hard and thick inside you, stretching you to your limits as he held himself still, savoring the exquisite torture of denying you release.
He put your knees on your chest and started pounding inside of you, hitting that spongy spot dead-on with the first thrust. You screamed in your living room, rolling your eyes back as you tremble.
No mercy, just like you wanted.
Mingyu looked at your pleasured face, making sure he was hitting all the right spots to drive you wild. And judging by the way you were moaning and writhing beneath him, he was definitely doing something right.
"You're so wet for me," his voice dripped with lust. "You can't get enough of my cock, can you? You want me to fuck you harder, hm?"
You nodded eagerly, unable to form words.
As Mingyu pounded into you harder, your body tensed, your abdomen trembling as you felt the orgasm approaching. He bit his lip, holding back his moans as your walls spasmed around him, indicating your impending climax.
You gripped the couch tightly, your nails digging into the fabric as pleasure washed over you. But no matter how hard you tried, nothing seemed to relieve the overwhelming sensation building inside you.
And then it hit you, you came, hard and fast, your orgasm ripping through you as you spasmed uncontrollably beneath Mingyu.
You came on him, on the couch, on his cock, unable to contain the pleasure coursing through you. And as Mingyu watched you cumming in a matter of minutes, a proud moan escaped his lips, his eyes filled with satisfaction at having brought you so much pleasure.
As Mingyu held your legs to the sides, spreading you open and angling his cock in a way that his pelvis rubbed against your clit, you squirmed helplessly beneath him. Every movement sent jolts of oversensitivity coursing through your body, and you cried out in pleasure and desperation.
But Mingyu held firm, his gaze locked with yours as he reminded you of your wish for him not to take it easy on you. "You wanted this," he murmured, his voice thick with desire. "You wanted me to push you to your limits."
You whimpered in response, the sensation of his cock rubbing against your clit driving you to the brink of insanity. "I can't take it," you pleaded, your voice barely above a whisper. "I can't take it anymore."
But Mingyu only moaned in response, his hips moving in a relentless rhythm as he continued to tease and torment you. "You'll need to take it," he whispered, and you moan satisfied that he didn't stopped.
"Just a little more," he urged, his voice filled with desperation. "You're almost there, baby. Just hold on..."
As you held Mingyu's neck, drawing him closer to you for another kiss, you found yourself lost in the intoxicating sensation of his lips against yours. But with each moan that escaped your lips, it became increasingly difficult to maintain the kiss, the overwhelming pleasure coursing through your body making it impossible to focus on anything else.
Mingyu noticed your struggle, a smile playing at the corners of his lips as he watched you writhe beneath him. His face contorted in pleasure, mirroring the ecstasy written all over yours, as your walls pulsed and contracted around him with each thrust.
As you trembled beneath Mingyu, tears slipping from your eyes, he kissed your face gently, his lips tracing a path of comfort and reassurance.
"I'm cumming for you," he murmured, his voice soothing and gentle as he tried to calm your racing heart.
But your chest rose and fell in erratic waves, your breaths coming in ragged gasps as you closed your eyes tightly, desperate to hold on just a little longer. And then it happened, a silent moan escaping your lips as your body tensed and your pleasure blinded all of your senses.
You came again, your orgasm ripping through you with a force that left you gasping for air, your entire body trembling with the intensity of it all. And as Mingyu watched in awe, unable to hold back his own release any longer, he let out a surprised moan of pleasure, his own orgasm crashing over him.
As Mingyu's warm cum filled your cunt, mingling with your own juices, you let out a contented sigh, feeling completely spent and satisfied.
Feeling utterly relaxed, you laid your head back on the couch, letting out a deep breath as you allowed yourself to bask in the afterglow of your orgasm. The tension in your neck melted away as you finally allowed yourself to relax.
"You okay?" he asked softly, his voice filled with concern as he looked down at you.
You nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of your lips. "Yeah, I'm good," you replied, feeling a sense of contentment wash over you.
Mingyu leaned in closer, his eyes searching yours as he spoke. "That was... so good," he said, his voice filled with awe. "I've never felt anything like that before."
You chuckled softly, feeling a sense of pride swell within you. "Yeah, me neither," you admitted, feeling a warm glow of satisfaction spread through your body.
You chuckled softly, feeling a warmth spread through your chest at his words. "Who knew that silly wishbook would actually work?" you remarked, shaking your head in disbelief.
Mingyu leaned in to press a soft kiss to your lips. "Well, I'm here now, and I don't plan on going anywhere," he said, his voice filled with sincerity.
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jeonginsleftcheek · 19 days ago
Text
Dolly II
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~ part 2 of the Dolly series
pairing: seungmin x afab!reader
genre: smut, college au
synopsis: your friends found it funny to buy you a sex doll and pose it in your bed to prank you.
wc: 7.7k
warnings: alcohol, thigh riding, handjob, cum tasting, unprotected sex, hand kink, nipple play, creampie, mentions of crying, choking, edging, spanking, hair pulling, pussy slap, oral(m), fingering
a/n: thank you @jehhskz for helping with the premise of this one🥹💕
~ maybe you'd like: Hyunjin dolly
~ divider by @bunnysrph
Another sleepless night.
Staring at your laptop screen, the letters start blurring and bleeding into one another, making the headache behind your eyes throb even more.
Exam after exam, you're becoming more jaded, feeling like you're high out of your mind when it's just lack of sleep.
As you scroll through a page you're researching for your paper, an advert pops out.
"Sex dolls?" you chuckle and click on it, even if it looks a bit shady.
You're taken to a stylish site, black background with big neon green letters asking you "What's your vibe for today?", and you scoff.
"Try dead inside." you say out loud and the letters flicker before disappearing, new text appearing on the screen, making you gasp.
"Feeling sarcastic, are we?" - it says and you shriek, quickly exiting the site and deleting the history.
How the fuck did it hear you?
Did they hack your laptop?
You hoped not, because being a broke student means you have no resources to buy a new one.
With a groan, you continue doing your assignments well into the late hours, forgetting completely about the sex dolls and the freaky website.
You fall asleep, excited about the party you were invited to this weekend, to finally have some way to blow off steam and relax.
-
The room is totally spinning.
You are totally spinning.
You can hear your friends laugh on your left but your tiredness coupled with the alcohol you had in your system made you feel drowsy.
You're not sure but it seems that your friends are pointing at you and whispering, giggles leaving their lips and you frown.
They're known for pulling pranks on you, and you'd hoped they would at least leave you be when you're intoxicated and vunerable.
"What?" you almost bark at them.
"Nothing." one of them says with a snicker.
"Ugh. I'm leaving." you stand up quickly, which was a mistake as all the blood rushes through your system and the room starts spinning faster.
Your friend and roommate Edie, is quick to grab you before you face plant into the coffee table.
"I'm coming with ya. Don't want you to break your bones somewhere on the way home." she shakes her head and you nod, bidding goodbye to your other friends and letting her lead you out.
The walk to your shared apartment is short, the house of the guy who hosted the party wasn't too far away from your building or the campus.
The chilly evening air helps you refresh your mind and sober up a little.
"Are you gonna eat dinner?" Edie asks when you step into the apartment.
"No, I think I'm just gonna go shower and sleep." you say and she nods.
Before you left the kitchen, you swore you could see her smirk a little.
Shrugging, you make your way to your room.
Edie stops what she was doing, setting the plate down as she listens.
One, two, three...
And you scream, followed by a few thuds and curses.
"What the fuck?!" you grab the nearest book but the man on your bed doesn't even move or blink.
Edie giggles behind you, before it bubbles up and becomes full on laughter.
"What is this?" you demand, already annoyed at her.
"That is Seungmin, your sex doll."
"My what?" you almost choke on your spit.
"We were gonna scare you and prank you with him but we thought he would also be a good early birthday present. Since you know, you only ever study and stay at the apartment. This way, you can have him as a companion." she explains, and you lower the book you were gonna hit her with.
"Please, don't be mad at us." she grimaces.
"Why does he look alive?" you look back at the doll, gulping as shivers run up your spine.
"I don't know, it's some new technology, I guess. Isn't it so cool though? There was a letter in the box he came in with. I put it there on the nightstand, together with the manual." Edie informs you.
"Y'all are crazy and he's creepy. But, thank you? It must've been expensive." you shake your head.
"Well, the six of us got some money together."
"Still, crazy." you chuckle and she laughs.
"I'll leave you to it." she wiggles her eyebrows, closing the door of your room as she makes her way back to the kitchen.
You bite on your lip, observing the doll as it stares off into space.
"You're too creepy and you're not watching me change." you mumble and grab your blanket, throwing it over the dolls head.
"There." you say and strip, loving the perk of this apartment as both you and Edie had your own bathroom attached to your room.
You go about your night routine, now almost completely sober as you make your way back to your room.
You almost forgot about the doll, your heart dropping in your stomach for a moment.
"Fuck." you chuckle at yourself, your hand on your chest.
Cautiously, you sit next to the doll and remove the blanket.
He looks the same as he did before, as your friends presumably set him up, propping him up on your pillows, his legs straight and his hands in his lap.
He was dressed kind of sporty but chic, with a plain white shirt, a blue jersey jacket and ripped jeans, a dainty silver necklace adorning his neck.
Simple, yet effective, the doll looked more handsome the more you looked at it.
His hair looked fluffy, his eyes seemed warm, his lips soft.
You especially liked his hands, delicate and tender.
He looked sweet, if he was a real human being you're 100% sure everyone would swoon for him on the campus and he'd probably be the it boy.
You wondered how he looked so real, it almost seemed as if he was going to wake up any second and start talking to you.
You sigh and grab the letter, opening it up.
Hello,
my name is Seungmin and I am your mischiveous doll.
I love making you laugh and teasing you, because nothing makes me as happy as seeing your smile or your cute face when you're annoyed.
Please, play with me a lot as I tend to get bored, and no matter what you do with me, always end it with a kiss on my forehead.
Hope you come to love me as much as I already love you.
"Oh, you're a little prankster doll, aren't you? How funny of my friends." you sigh with a smirk playing on your face.
"I swear if you fucking move, you're flying out the window." you threaten, convinced you could see a faint smirk on the doll's face.
A paper sticking out of his jersey pocket grabs your attention and you take it out.
My cutie!
I got dressed for our first date!
Hopefully you like the outfit I chose, and enjoy playing with me tonight.
"First date? Who the heck made this?" you're perplexed, when suddenly you remember the ad from the other day.
"Oh my god." you jump up quickly, running to your laptop and searching.
You don't have to search too long as the site pops up immediately and you click on it.
"Wow!" you gasp as you look at the selection of the dolls.
You had no idea each one was a unique model, and that only one of them was made for some kind of experiment with new technology.
You turn to look back at Seungmin and chuckle.
"Okay, I gotta give it to my friends. They did give me a unique gift." you sigh.
Reading back over the site, there isn't much information and as you research a little bit, you can't find out much about the company that made the dolls.
It was as if it appeared out of thin air with technology so advanced that it had you confused, who could've made this and how?
Maybe even more important, why?
After turning up with nothing, you decide to check out the manual.
WARNING!
If there are any malfunctions with any part of the doll, please contact our services.
The doll can bathe in water except the charger opening.
Please do not disfigure or mutilate the doll.
Do not throw the doll into the trash.
Do not break, cut or bruise the doll.
If you're not satisfied, you can always return it to us and get your money back.
If you've purchased our Seungmin doll, do not forget to play with him as he can get lonely and sad.
Hope you enjoy the playful soul you chose!
"Lonely and sad, huh?" you stare at the doll with pursed lips.
Turning a few pages, the doll's 'abilites' come into view and you feel your ears burning in embarassment before you close the book quickly, tossing it aside.
"My friends are a bunch of perverts." you chuckle, laying down next to the doll.
"You better keep your hands to yourself, doll." you slide under your blanket, all the tiredness from tonight finally catching up with you.
Seungmin sits quietly as you turn off the light.
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Waking up the next morning with a yawn, you stretch and your hand smacks into something solid.
Gasping, you lift up and see the doll sitting quietly just like he did last night.
"I forgot about you." you exhale before plopping back down in your pillows.
Curiously, your eyes travel over the doll's frame.
It's dead quiet in the apartment, meaning that Edie probably already left for her classes and you sit up, turning your attention to Seungmin.
Tentatively, you reach out your hand and poke the doll's cheek.
"Oh, wow!" you exclaim, poking him again. "You feel real."
Slowly, your fingertips caress his cheek, before you start carding them through his hair.
"Honestly though, my friends do know my type. If you were a real guy, I would stare at you from the distance and wait for you to ask me out." you chuckle a little before shaking your head as you retract your hand.
"I'm talking to myself." you get up and decide to get ready for your classes, leaving the doll be.
You feel like you're being watched the whole time as you rush through your room to gather your things, and an uncomfortable shiver runs up your spine, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand.
"Alright. You're creeping me out again." you throw the blanket over the doll like you did yesterday, and then you get ready.
"Behave. I think." you tilt your head and then exhale with a chuckle as you leave your bedroom, leaving Seungmin alone under the blanket.
-
It's past 5pm when you finally step foot back into your apartment.
You call out to Edie but it seems she wasn't home.
Shrugging, you enter your bedroom to find Seungmin still covered up with the blanket.
"Damn. Okay, you didn't come to life." you toss your bag down and make your way to the doll.
"I left you alone for a long time, didn't I?" you say as you remove the blanket and lean in closer to take a look at Seungmin's face.
For some reason, you think he might be frowning.
"Hey, I have real life things to do. Don't frown at me like that."
The doll is quiet.
"You want me to play with you? What does that even entail? Are we playing or are we playing? Because I'm not doing any of that weird shit." you wave your finger at the unmoving doll, realizing you're probably crazy for even talking to it.
"I'll think of something after dinner." you mutter to yourself.
After a much needed shower, you make your way to the kitchen to eat some dinner.
As you're eating, you suddenly hear what sounds like a giggle.
It feels like your heart stops beating for a moment as you sit up straight and listen.
It's quiet, except the music playing from your phone.
Maybe it was just in your mind.
Yeah, probably.
Edie arrives home shortly after, giving you a shit eating grin.
"So, did you try out the doll?" she wiggles her eyebrows at you.
"No. I don't know, it feels weird... and wrong." you grimace and your friend laughs.
"If you don't want him, let me give it a go." she winks and you laugh.
"Seungmin is my gift, okay? Don't touch him." you wave your finger and she snickers.
"Feeling territorial, are we?"
"N-no!" you blush instantly.
"Don't worry, y/n. I won't touch your little boyfriend."
"He's not my boyfriend! He's not even alive!" you yell after her as she giggles all the way to her room.
You sigh and make your way to your room too.
"Alright. I don't know what you mean by playing but I'm too tired to do anything. Maybe a movie?" you talk to the doll.
As you get no answer, you decide to just get ready for bed and grab your laptop.
You make yourself comfy under the blanket, your eyes turning to look at Seungmin.
"Ah. I'm probably crazy but I do need a few cuddles." you shrug as you sit up, your laptop on the side.
Pursing your lips, you slowly take off his jacket and put it aside.
"Oh wow." you gasp as you notice the little hairs on his arms, moles here and there, as if it's real skin.
You touch his arm, it's smooth and soft... comforting, even.
Your hand runs down to his and you grab it, your fingers entwined with his.
For some reason, you crave touch even more now so you adjust him to lay down and make him comfy on the pillows before you grab your laptop and put it on his stomach.
You lean your head on his chest, putting his arm around you as you search for a movie.
"If anyone sees me like this, I would die of embarassment." you sigh as you press play on a random movie.
Even though Seungmin's skin feels real, and he feels somewhat warm, it's quiet when your ear presses against his chest, there is no heartbeat to lull you to sleep.
It weirds you out but at the same time it's comforting to have someone next to you.
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Oh no.
Your favorite shirt is gone.
You rummage through your whole wardrobe, knowing it's surely where you left it last time.
Edie probably took it, you think and stomp your way to her room after you close the wardrobe with a thud.
You miss the little smirk on Seungmin's face and the way his eyes followed you to the door before stilling again.
"Edie! Where is my favorite shirt? The red one with the yellow sun? I told you to ask if you wanna borrow stuff!"
"What? I never took that shirt. It's ugly anyways."
"Girl, don't call my favorite shirt ugly." you whine while she giggles.
"Sorry, I don't wanna hurt the shirt's feelings." she puts her arms up in fake surrender and you roll your eyes at her.
Coming back to your room, you're stopped in your tracks as you notice the shirt thrown over Seungmin's thighs.
You stand and stare at him quietly, your mind trying to process this because you know for a fact that it wasn't there before.
Slowly making your way to him, you narrow your eyes as you snatch your shirt away from him.
"Is this how you wanna play? Seungmin, the mischievous doll?" you raise your eyebrow.
He seems to be smiling slightly at your sarcastic tone.
"We'll talk about this later." you threaten and run to your bathroom to get ready for classes.
It was only the beginning.
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A few weeks have passed since your friends got you Seungmin, and by now you kind of got used to him.
You couldn't really fall asleep unless you were hugging him and every morning when you opened your eyes you would give him a soft kiss to his forehead, just what the letter asked.
You were convinced that there was more to Seungmin though, as your things would disappear or be moved around, only to reappear later, making you frustrated at his playful antics.
Edie was bugging you constantly about using the doll for its actual purposes and one stressful weekend of studying before exam season was all you needed to snap and find a way to let out your frustrations.
Exhaling loudly, you turned to look at Seungmin, your fingers tangled in your hair and pulling in frustration.
It must be 3am by now, you think and decide to get up and take a hot shower.
Luckily, Edie was away, visiting her boyfriend so you had the apartment all to yourself and could make as much noise as you wanted to.
In your tired daze, coupled with the hot water on your skin, you felt a familiar throb in your core.
Your fingers danced on your skin, going lower until you stopped and gasped.
Seungmin.
Maybe it was time to try the doll's abilities.
After you finish rinsing off, you wrapped a towel around yourself and made your way to your room.
Seungmin is propped on your bed in his shirt and boxers, you stripped him a few days before, wanting to be more comfortable when you hold him, the stiff jeans fabric annoying you while you sleep.
"Well. It's just us, I guess." you say as you stand in front of him.
"Fuck it." you let the towel slide down to the floor, your eyes following it and not noticing the spark lighting up in Seungmin's gaze.
"Well, it's not fair that you're dressed." you pout and make your way to your doll, stripping his shirt first and biting your lip as your eyes roam all over his chest and stomach.
You slide his boxers off next, his semi-hard cock popping out and you gasp, did he get hard just from you being naked? If so, how?
Completely flabbergasted, you stared at him.
He never looked more real than in this moment and you felt your arousal gather on your pussy and coat your inner thighs.
"I must be ovulating." you chuckle at yourself and straddle the doll's thigh.
His muscles were firm under your wet pussy and you whined, slowly fucking yourself against Seungmin's thigh.
His cock seemed to react strongly to this, growing, the tip becoming red and angry and your eyes flutter as you practically drool at the sight of his length.
You wrap your hand around him and whimper when you feel his heaviness in your hand, and the warmth radiating off of him, how he twitches against you, beads of pre-cum appearing at his tip.
You don't even want to analyze and think how they made him this real, in this moment all you want is to play with him and find some relief for yourself.
You squeeze his cock a little before giving him a few languid strokes.
"Ah, fuck!" you moan, riding his thigh, your wet pussy leaving trails of arousal on his skin.
You lean in closer and press your lips to his neck, kissing his skin and inhaling his scent that mixed with yours from so many days of just cuddling him.
Seungmin's fingers twitch next to him but you don't notice as your lips dance on his skin, kissing him, your tongue darting out to taste him, your teeth grazing against his nipples.
This seems to make his cock even harder and you smirk, your hand playing with his nipple as you jerk him off faster, still riding his thigh and bringing yourself closer to your release.
You read the manual before, and you know his nipples are sensitive, the more you play with them, the closer he gets to cumming.
You decide to be evil and bring the doll to the edge, before retracting your hands and giggling as you grind on his thigh faster.
"Ah, Seungmin!" you moan out as you bounce on him, and his eyes fall down to your tits bouncing in his face, but again you don't notice since your head is thrown back in full ecstasy as you cum all over his thigh.
"Mm. So good." you whine, needing more, so you throw your leg over him, grabbing his cock and sliding down on his length in one go.
"Ah, you're so big baby." you coo at Seungmin and start bouncing on him, his cock filling you up deliciously and hitting every spot inside you perfectly.
"You like my tits, hm?" you notice that they're right in front of him so you grab his head and smush his face into your chest as you continue fucking on him.
You lean back to look at his face and you swear there's something in his eyes as you hold his cheeks in your palms and slow your hips.
"You're enjoying, aren't you?" you whisper and lean in to kiss the doll, his lips moving with yours as if he's kissing you back and you almost get lost in him.
Gently taking his hands in yours, you kiss his fingers, licking and sucking on them as you gyrate your hips against him.
"I love your hands." you mumble against him, taking two of his fingers in your mouth and sucking on them, staring intently at the doll's face.
You can feel his cock twitch inside you as you clench around him, working his fingers deep in your hot mouth, holding his other hand on your breast.
There's definitely something in his eyes, you note as you bring yourself closer to your high.
You squeeze your eyes shut, wishing with your whole being he would wake up and touch you everywhere, his hands burning imprints on you, wrapping around your neck, pulling on your hair, spanking you, marking you as his.
With that, you moan loudly, your pussy gripping his cock before you spill your juices all over his length, riding out your high, your fingers on his nipples, pinching and pulling.
"You wanna cum, Seungminnie?" you coo at him. "You pleased me well, you can cum." you add with a particularly strong pinch and it's like he heard you, his cock twitching inside you before he exploded, spurts of hot cum filling you up deeply.
"Ah!" you moan at the feeling, your eyes rolling back as you wrap your arms around him.
After taking some time to calm down, you grab Seungmin's face and press a sweet kiss to his forehead.
"I'm glad you're here, dolly." you whisper.
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Exam season was riding you hard, coupled with essays and projects you had due, you felt extremely stressed.
You were barely eating and sleeping, the only light in your life was your dolly, Seungmin.
All of your friends were in the same predicament as you, so none of them had the time or the will to hang out.
It was like a struggle happening between you and all your obligations, and you were losing the battle.
Just one more paragraph, you thought as your tired fingers ran across the keyboard, your eyes bloodshot and hair a mess, your entire body stiff with stress.
You felt worn out but every now and then you would glance back at the bed and a small smile would spread on your face upon seeing Seungmin waiting for you there.
A few days ago, you had come home to find little hearts drawn in your notebook, knowing it had to be Seungmin since Edie wasn't home then and couldn't possibly be pranking you.
Maybe you wouldn't admit it to your friends but you loved Seungmin, even if he was just a doll.
For the few months you had him, you had grown attached to him; you talked to him about your innermost thoughts and feelings instead of writing them down in your diary.
You always watched movies with him, and after the movie ended you would play with him, exploring his body and wishing he could do the same to you.
You know it's probably crazy, but to you Seungmin is alive, and seeing those heart doodles only confirmed that there was more to him than you initially thought.
And you were right.
Breaking down into tears of frustration that night, you crawled into bed a sobbing mess, your arms wrapping around Seungmin instictively, holding him tightly as you cried into his neck.
You fell into a deep slumber while Seungmin listened to you cry yourself to sleep, your tears soaking up his shirt.
He couldn't stand it, his heart began to beat erratically as he started taking in shallow breaths, his hand gripping at the sheet below him as he tried to gasp for breath.
He shivered against you, his eyes were wide and trained on the ceiling above him as he slowly got his heartbeat and breathing steady.
Miraculously, you didn't feel a thing and kept sleeping as he slowly came to his senses.
The first thing Seungmin felt inside his body was thirst and hunger, his stomach growling, making him feel dizzy as he clutched onto you.
I need to get up!, he thought to himself before slowly rolling out of your hold and falling down on the floor with a thud.
"Ow." he muttered and his head popped up to check on you but you were still fast asleep.
A sad smile spread on his face, you were so exhausted and it hurt him.
Seungmin gathered all his strength as he staggered to the kitchen, drinking a few glasses of water, only feeling a bit more normal after that.
He rummaged through the cabinets, having watched you cook multiple times, he knew where everything was.
Deciding it was fastest to make some instant ramen, he did just that, almost burning himself in the process.
He was so hungry he couldn't think straight, he had no idea what was happening, who exactly he was even though little snippets of memories were running through his mind, he couldn't remember anything clearly except the memories he shared with you.
Seungmin didn't have answers to any of his questions, but there was only one thing he was sure about.
He loves you.
So, after he finished eating, Seungmin sat down in your room, opened up your laptop and worked all night tirelessly to finish up your essay and project.
He was going to make sure you get your much needed rest while he helps you pass your exams.
-
Slowly waking up in the morning, your hands instantly reached out for Seungmin.
With your eyes closed, you started moving your hand around your mattress only to realize that it's empty.
You freeze, dread washing over you before you open your eyes, blinking and looking around the room.
"Oh my god!" you all but scream when you see Seungmin, your Seungmin, the doll, sitting at your table, his upper body leaned on it as he sleeps.
You can hear and see that he's breathing and you don't know how to react, frozen in complete shock.
Quietly, you get up, tippy-toeing your way to him, you lean down to look at his face.
He looks adorable, his face smushed against your papers, his hand on the keyboard of your laptop and the other in his lap.
His eyes move under his eyelids, pretty lashes caressing his skin, his body rising with the breaths he's taking in.
"S-Seungmin?" you place your hand on his upper back, your fingers twitching a little.
"Hm." he hums a little and you chuckle.
You're supposed to feel scared, mortified even; but you feel giddy to finally see him look at you, talk to you, touch you.
"Minnie?" you try again, fingers playing with the hair on the nape of his neck.
His eyes flutter open, and he's confused for a second before his eyes widen at the sight of you.
"Y/n!" he exclaims, sitting up suddenly.
"You're alive. How?" you ask as you observe him.
"I- I woke up last night. I saw how you were struggling, how exhausted you were and I couldn't take it anymore."
"You saw... everything?" your heart beats faster.
"Y-yes." Seungmin nods, the tips of his ears becoming red. "It was as if I was in a state of sleep paralysis, and kept fighting to wake up."
"So you heard everything I said, felt everything I did?" you ask, for some reason the knowledge that Seungmin was actually present during every time you played with him, made you squeeze your thighs together and he noticed, the redness from his ears spreading to his neck.
"Yes." he says and you laugh in disbelief.
"This is insane! Wait, what are you doing at my table?" you remember suddenly and he chuckles awkwardly, playing with the end of his shirt.
"I- uhm... I finished your essay and project. Don't worry, I didn't fuck anything up! I worked on it as if it was you." he says and suddenly your eyes water.
"Minnie. You're so sweet. I'm so happy you came to life." you throw your arms around him and he gasps, his heart jumping in his chest.
He can't believe you didn't freak out and turn away.
Not only that you didn't turn away, you sat in his lap as he tentatively put his arms around you.
You held him tighter, making him melt into you.
Leaning back, you grabbed his face and started kissing him.
"Y/n, wait- you're not freaking out?" he stops you suddenly, an insecure look in his eyes as he observes your face.
"No, I knew you were alive. You hid my stuff and played pranks on me the whole time." you narrow your eyes at him and Seungmin chuckles awkwardly.
"Oops?" he grimaces and you laugh.
"Make it up to me, please." you whisper against his lips and Seungmin can't deny you.
He presses his lips on yours, his hands on your lower back, bringing you closer to him and making you grind against his lap.
Your nails dig into his shoulders when you feel him grow under you, and you can't help it as you start grinding against him.
All the times you played with him, you wished he'd wake up and just take you, and here he was now.
"Please, Minnie. I need you so bad." you moan and Seungmin smirks against your lips, his hands sliding down to grip your ass as he pushes his tongue inside your mouth at the same time.
He swallows all the sounds you make, his tongue exploring every inch of you as he lifts his hand and smacks your ass.
You jolt a little, pressing against him harder, feeling his cock twitching against your wet core.
Seungmin gets impatient, his hands grip the back of your thighs and he lifts you up, carrying you to your bed as you clutch onto him.
"I fantasized about this so much." you gasp breathlessly as he kneels between your legs, grabbing your ankles and pushing your knees to your chest.
"About what exactly? Tell me what you need, y/n." Seungmin's eyes are dark and filled with lust.
You shiver, biting on your lip as you feel more arousal soak your panties.
"I want you to be rough with me, please. Just do whatever you want." you whimper making him smirk.
"Anything you need, darling." Seungmin leans down closer to you, pressing his lips on yours hard and forcing his tongue in as his hand comes up to grip your throat.
The sound that comes out of you and travels into him, makes him grow impossibly hard in his boxers.
He squeezes your throat a little as he kisses you hard, taking your breath away and you dig your nails in his arm, your middle lifting up towards his and brushing against his hard member.
Seungmin presses down on you, slowly grinding against your wet panties as he leans back and grips your throat harder.
Your eyes flutter as you completely give into him, his gaze is fixed on you and how you're so willingly letting him hold your life in his hand.
When he releases you, you gasp for breath and grab at him.
"Fuck me, please Seungmin!" you groan and he slides your panties down as you rip your shirt off fast.
He chuckles at your eagerness, getting rid of his clothes too.
He presses his lips on your neck, his pretty hands exploring your body just how you wanted him to, fingers playing with your nipples, running over the dips and valleys of you.
Your whole body is on fire, your core is throbbing to be touched and it's like he senses it, his hand sliding between your legs to cup your pussy.
"S-Seungmin!" you whimper as he starts sliding his fingers on your wet folds, brining them up to your clit and pressing into it.
"Is this all mine?" he smirks darkly at you, torturing your sensitive clit, his other hand worshipping your breasts.
"Yes, all yours!" you moan as he slaps your pussy, a wave of arousal rushing through you.
"Please!" you beg, your hands gripping at the sheets beneath you.
"I love when you beg like that." Seungmin says, pushing his fingers inside you and you whimper as your pussy sucks them in eagerly.
"You always did what you wanted with me. Not that I mind that, but it's my turn now." he smirks, finding that gummy spot inside you and fucking slowly into it.
"Mm..." you moan as he pinches your nipples, teasing you with slow moves.
He speeds up, only to slow down again, driving you insane as your body yearns for release.
"P-please, let me cum." you whimper and Seungmin chuckles, withdrawing his fingers from you.
All those times you edged him were coming back to bite you in the ass as he decided to take his sweet time with you before giving you what you want.
You whine but before you can protest more, you feel the tip of his cock pressing against you, running over your folds and teasing your clit.
You're a moaning mess as he slowly pushes in, only the tip breaching your hot cunt.
You wait for more but realize with despair that he is going to tease you until the very end as he starts fucking you only with the tip of his pretty cock.
"Oh my god! Please!" you whine.
"Be quiet and take it." he says, his hand wrapping around your throat once more, squeezing as his tip goes in and out of you, then runs over your folds, smearing your arousal everywhere, playing with your tortured clit.
You give in, spreading your legs more as you hold them open for him while he tortures you.
"That's it. My good girl." Seungmin praises you and you whimper as he lets go of your neck.
You're about to beg for more but Seungmin leans back before grabbing you and turning you around on all fours.
"Oh!" you exclaim as he spreads your legs with his.
"I know what you want, darling." he chuckles lowly behind you before pushing into you harshly, making you take his entire length in one thrust.
"Ah!" you whimper as your pussy clenches around him immediately, not wanting to let him go.
Seungmin grunts, spanking you fast and hard a few times before he grabs your hips and starts fucking into you with an unforgiving pace.
You gasp for air as your grab the headboard, making the bed shake with the movement of your bodies.
His hand tangles in your hair and he pulls as you cry out, not being able to hold it in anymore, you cream around his cock and his eyes roll back, his hips stuttering as he releases inside you, filling you up with his hot load.
"Oh my god." you whimper, collapsing down as both of you breathe hard and he wraps his arms around you.
"That's what you fantasized about, hm?" he whispers, lips brushing against your ear.
"Y-yes." you say, breathless.
Both of you are quiet for some time before you face each other, breaking into shy smiles.
"I love you, Seungmin." your hand is on his cheek, and then in his soft hair as you caress him.
"I love you so much, y/n. What I feel for you woke me up, because I couldn't stand just watching you go through all the stress alone." he says as you hold each other.
"I wasn't alone, you were always there." you retort with a smile.
Something more gentle settles between you, and the two of you cuddle quietly, enjoying in each other's presence.
You stay like that for some time before you decide to clean up and eat breakfast.
Walking into the kitchen, you don't even notice Edie who turns around and upon seeing you walking in with Seungmin, she shrieks, taking a step back as her face morphs into a look of shock.
"What the fuck?!"
"Calm down, Edie." you chuckle.
"Calm down?! He's - he's alive! How?!" she keeps freaking out.
"I woke up-"
"He talks!" Edie interrupts him and you start laughing.
"Oh my god, Edie. No, we don't know how he woke up either and how he's alive." you say with a chuckle.
"Do you remember anything, Minnie?" you turn to Seungmin and he seems to blush at the nickname, fiddling with his fingers as if he didn't just rail you in the bedroom thirty minutes ago.
"Snippets. I remember this cold place, some kind of droning sound. Water too, maybe? And there were others. But I can't remember their faces at all. I just know they were there."
"Others?" Edie purses her lips and then grabs her laptop hurriedly.
"Them?" she types quickly before turning the laptop towards the two of you, the familiar site presenting the sex dolls on her screen.
Seungmin gasps, his lips trembling.
"T-that... that's them! They were there with me. In the cold room." Seungmin suddenly hugs himself and you can see he's becoming distressed.
Quickly, you reach towards the laptop, closing it and putting your arms around him.
"It's okay, take a deep breath." you say softly as you caress him.
"How about we finish our exams this week and then all of us try to find out what actually happened to you, Seungmin?" Edie offers and he nods.
"I'd like that." he says. "Just... I never want to go back there. I don't know why but it feels horrifying."
"Don't worry, I won't let anyone take you away from me." you smile at him, kissing his cheek gently.
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Your exam and presentation week pass by smoothly, with the constant help and support of Seungmin, everything was easier.
He insisted on sharing your burdens, always reminding you to take care of yourself, preparing you warm meals while you studied and listening to you yap about what you learned for practice.
Your friend group all came to see Seungmin and they adored his personality instantly since he was a little shy with them but clearly adored you, they congratulated themselves for finding the perfect guy for you.
As the week came to an end, after a good night's sleep and a warm breakfast, Seungmin, Edie and you sat on your living room floor with your laptops, the manual and Seungmin's letter.
All three of you went through the letter and manual multiple times, like some new information would appear and help you understand where Seungmin came from, how did he suddenly come to life, why did the usb opening disappear when he woke up, why can't he remember anything.
The site wasn't much help either, it only had pictures of the dolls, info about them written in a similar fashion as Seungmin's manual was.
Nothing about the company except that they had advanced technology they were proud of testing.
After hours of research, you came up with a big fat nothing.
"I can't believe there's nothing on the net about this company!" Edie threw her hands up in frustration.
"There's something fishy about all of this." you let out a sigh as Seungmin looks at you.
"I'm really trying hard to remember more." he says.
"I know you are." you smile at him, caressing his face. "How about we take a break?"
"Sounds good to me. I'm meeting my lover for lunch anyways." Edie smiles.
"Hey, thank you so much for helping, Edie." you smile at her and she chuckles.
"Of course! What are friends for!" she exclaims with a giggle.
-
"I want to thank you for everything you've done for me." you whisper while you and Seungmin cuddle.
He smiles as you lift up before burying your face in his neck and kissing his soft skin.
"It was my pleasure." Seungmin takes in a shaky breath as your tongue darts out to lick at his sensitive spot before you sink your teeth into it.
"Y/n." he whimpers, grabbing at you.
"And it will be my pleasure to show you how grateful I am." you smirk at him, his eyes hooded as he observes you.
You lift his shirt up, taking it off and tossing it aside, your lips attaching to his skin instantly.
You leave kisses on his collarbone and chest, your tongue playing with his nipples, teeth grazing the sensitive buds.
Seungmin relaxes, letting you kiss his stomach, all the way down to the bulge in his boxers, where you press a kiss to his head.
"Ah, y/n." he whines, lifting up into you.
You only smirk, hooking your fingers in his underwear and pulling it down, watching his cock spring free, pre cum beading at the tip.
You need to taste him, tongue on him immediately before you wrap your lips around the head, sucking on it gently.
"Shit!" Seungmin moans, his hand tangling in your hair and holding you down.
It's clear to you that he's slowly taking control as he lifts his hips up, pushing your head down at the same time and making you take more of his length.
Your eyes flutter, enjoying the way he uses you, fucking up slowly into your mouth and you hold onto his thighs as he grips your hair and pushes in further.
You gag a little when you feel the tip of his cock bullying its way to the back of your throat and your pussy clenches.
You squeeze your thighs, looking for some friction as Seungmin keeps fucking up into you harder and faster.
"Fuck, you're doing so good, baby." he moans, his body trembling for a moment.
You choke on his length but he doesn't let up.
"Just a little more, and then I'll give you my cum." he smirks and you whimper around him, your cunt throbbing.
Your hand sneaks on his inner thigh only to grab his balls, squeezing them and massaging them and Seungmin snaps, his hips jolting as he releases hot spurts of cum inside you.
Your eyes close in pleasure as you swallow, your pussy dripping arousal on your panties.
"Please, Minnie. Please, touch me." you're desperate as you pop off of him and he shushes you, lifting up and laying you down.
He strips you quickly, his lips on your skin, finger on your wet cunt.
"So eager for me, aren't you?" he smirks, dipping just the tips of his fingers inside you.
"Y-yes, ah!" you whimper when he flicks your sensitive clit.
"Such a good girl." Seungmin coos at you, plunging two of his fingers inside you, his other hand stimulating your clit as he massages it and pinches occasionally.
Being the little tease that he is, he pulls his fingers out any time you're close to cumming, just to watch you writhe in frustration, your little pussy clenching around nothing.
He doesn't let you cum until he's reduced you to a crying, shaking mess and by that time you are so fucked out that you can't even speak.
You clench around his fingers before exploding all over his hand, squirting as his dark eyes observe you.
When he retracts his fingers, you grip his wrist, bringing his hand to your mouth as you swirl your tongue around them, cleaning them up and sucking on the digits.
"F-fuck." Seungmin whines.
Before he can lean down to kiss you, your phone starts ringing.
"Let it." he begs.
"It's Edie." you say quickly, ignoring the throbbing in your core. "Hey." you pick up as Seungmin catches his breath.
"What?! Okay, thanks for the heads up!"
"What's going on?" Seungmin looks at you worriedly and you quickly shake your head, grabbing a few tissues from the nightstand to clean yourself up.
"Edie and her boyfriend were in a diner and saw the news on tv, you were on it, and the other dolls. The company said that all the dolls have some kind of malfunction and that they're taking them back-"
"They wanna take me away from you?" Seungmin's lower lip trembles.
"You know I won't let that happen." you say as you open your laptop, typing in the site.
"It's gone!" you exclaim, the only thing that's popping up when you type the url in, is an error message.
"Shit, they're gonna come for me! I can't be here. I- I need to leave." Seungmin starts panicking suddenly.
"Seungmin, please, it's gonna be okay. I will-"
"No, y/n. It's too dangerous. It's best if they don't find me here. I don't wanna get you mixed up into anything."
"Minnie, I'm already mixed up into it. Because I love you and I won't let them hurt you." you grab his shaky hands.
"But-"
"No, we will do this together. I'll fight them, I swear. Just promise me you won't leave." you beg, squeezing his hands.
"Fine. I promise. I love you so much, y/n." Seungmin kisses you, the kiss feels like a goodbye to you but you don't want to dwell on it, the hope in your heart is not dying yet.
But, that night when you fall asleep in Seungmin's arms, he breaks his promise.
Having an inkling that whoever created him in the company has a tendency of being cruel, he didn't want you anywhere near that.
With a heavy heart, he looked at your sleeping face, caressing you and pressing his lips to your forehead and then your lips, he whispered his confession of love and disappeared into the night.
As he wondered next to the road, a car rolled closer and Seungmin lifted his thumb.
The car slowed down and when he looked into the passenger's seat window, a reflection of a familiar face stared at him in shock...
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headspace-hotel · 22 days ago
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Okay but like whenever europe and USA are compared in terms of ruins and artifacts it makes me think "oh but what about Native American artifacts and ruins" and it reminded me of another post I meant to make ages ago but forgot
A while back I went thru the library looking at all the books I could find on the history of Kentucky.
My textbooks and most "reliable" sources when I was a kid said that Kentucky was never actually home to Native Americans, it was just a "hunting ground." This is total bullshit, the living Shawnee whose ancestors lived here know it was bullshit, but how did we get there
A lot of the more recent books I found (from like the 1990's) repeated the "it was only just hunting grounds" thing
But heres the weird thing
When you go back further
The narrative is completely different
so here's the first page of a book published 1872, it's "History of Lexington Kentucky: Its Early Annals and Recent Progress" by George W. Ranck
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Let the shock of this first paragraph settle in. Like, damn, this is a whole different picture being painted
now, this Rafinesque fellow he refers to, has been widely referred to as the originator of many claims about Kentucky, and an exaggerator and liar, outright dismissed and scorned by many historians.
Rafinesque is considered to be the source of many claims found in this chapter, and the pompous, flowery language used to state them makes them seem a bit unbelievable. But the claims themselves are not highly unrealistic. These are several of the claims found on pages 2-12 of the book
An artificially built stone well was found by settlers
Earliest settlers plowed up pottery fragments
Settlers dug into an old abandoned lead mine
"Stone sepulchers" were found containing human bones
A large earthen mound 6 feet high was found with pottery and burned wood
A stone mound was found containing human bones
An extensive cave used as a cemetery was found under Lexington, containing embalmed bodies
Flint arrowheads were found
Polished and worked fragments of iron ore were found
Sandstone and limestone tools perforated with holes were found
Rough ingots of copper were found
Stone walls were built defended by entrenchments
It is very important to note that this chapter is insistent that the inhabitants that built these ruins and left these artifacts were NOT Native Americans. Why? Because Native Americans didn't build stuff so advanced! Very circular reasoning.
It was a very common myth that there was some kind of "pre-native-american" race of people that existed in Kentucky. Sometimes this was a way of justifying colonization by saying that well, the Native Americans were just taking over land that wasn't theirs too, so it's okay for us to do it.
It seems to me that when it became clear that Native Americans were the first and only pre-European inhabitants, the stuff about an ancient city under Lexington and all that became dismissed as lies. But are they lies?
I tried to find out, and we know for certain that central Kentucky had many, many burial mounds (some of which I had seen the site of without knowing what I was seeing) and quite a few stone ruins. The builders of the stone ruins are referred to as the "Fort Ancient" people because the earliest settlers incorrectly assumed the stone structures they saw were forts for some defensive or military purpose.
The tools and artifacts being referenced are all known to exist, except I think there aren't any confirmed extant examples of pottery.
The most widely criticized claim in the chapter is the underground cave used as a tomb, but I don't see why—central Kentucky is a limestone karst region and EVERYWHERE has a cave under it. The embalming or mummifying of bodies could have been a flourish or rumor, but the essence of the claim is totally reasonable. Then again, it might not have been, since the area had access to sources of salt. The supposed "lead mine" probably wasn't that specifically, but it's known that Native Americans went inside, explored and used caves.
It was really interesting to me how so many later sources dismissed these claims despite most of them being plausible or just true, and how many of those sources repeated the idea of Native Americans using the land for hunting but not "inhabiting" it. It is two different ways of denying Native Americans were here.
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florencemtrash · 3 months ago
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Bedsides and Breakfasts
Summary: After Azriel comes home battered and bruised, he refuses to eat the meal you've made him... Why?
Warnings: Angst, character injury, fluff
Author's note: For context, Y/n is Helion's bastard daughter. In an earlier draft of my other (very long) fic, The Shadowsinger and The Inkbird, this was going to be a scene that takes place after Azriel gets hurt during the Battle on the Lake where Y/n figures out Azriel is her mate. I wanted to finish it up and get it out there because I don't want to say goodbye to that story just yet and I wanted to get back into writing so.... here ya go!
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The Townhouse sang quietly as it worked. Its melodies lay in the shifting curtains that shook off dust into the wind. Its lyrics in the whistling teakettle. You liked these sounds as you moved about the kitchen, preparing your tea and a crust of bread slathered with butter and jam. 
When the Townhouse was empty, you didn’t need to fear your power — there was no one around for you to touch and steal memories from. Mor had tried to drag you out to Rita’s that evening — “Rhys says you’ve learned to keep your Clairvoyance at bay! Come dancing with us!” — but you couldn’t muster the courage or the energy.
Besides, you were awaiting a certain Shadowsinger’s arrival. 
“Won’t you come back and make me your home? You who’ve stolen my heart as simple as a whisper, calm as a storm,” You hummed to yourself. You swore the Townhouse sighed in contentment. “Do you like my silly little songs then?” You mused. 
The lights shone a little brighter, crackling the air with a flicker of energy. 
You were singing about Azriel — of course you were — and blushing all the while. He’d been the first to truly speak to you — the first to notice you — and the embrace you’d shared in Rhysand’s office had left you breathless for days. You could still feel the ghost of his breath against your neck as you’d buried your face in the hollow of his throat. The cracked leather beneath your fingers and the short hairs at the base of his skull you’d caressed as lovingly as any flower. It was the first time you’d ever been touched like that. Like you were something worth holding onto. 
When he was gone, the Townhouse felt too empty. You felt too empty. Even now, the edges of your patience frayed like a worn shirt without him. 
You spent the evening’s hours combing through every book you’d managed to lug over from the Library. It was quick, but taxing work as every touch against the weathered binding allowed you to absorb its knowledge without you ever having to lay an eye on the page. 
When the candle flickered dangerously close to your books and the dull throbbing behind your eyes had gone on for too long, you blew out the light and could do no more than curl up on the sofa before falling fast asleep. 
The whispers of shadows woke you. You couldn’t understand the words hidden within their overlapping voices, but their panic and relief were heavy in the air. You could almost taste their meaning on your tongue.
“Y/n,” Azriel moaned. He leaned heavily against the open door, forcing it open against the drag of the carpet. His sword clattered to the ground before his knees. “Y/n,” he called out again, more urgently this time. He prayed to the gods you were home. He’d flown through the night, tattered wings struggling to keep him aloft, to make sure he’d see you again… just in case.
Blood and iron burned your nose and your sleep-swollen eyelids split open. “Az—” Your knee slammed against the coffee table in your struggle to escape the blankets. “AZ!” 
Azriel was always greedy for the sight of you, and that familiar tug in his chest tightened as you rounded the corner and sprinted towards him. You tripped where the hardwood ended and the carpet began, throwing his arm around your shoulder. 
He smiled softly at you. Three months ago, you’d been too afraid to touch anyone. Now here you were half-supporting his weight as he staggered to his feet. He stole a few precious seconds to lean his head into the crook of your neck and breathe in your scent. For a moment, he believed it would be enough to heal him.
“How bad is it?” 
“Three arrows in the right wing, two in the left. Fae bane.” 
“Anywhere else?” You both stumbled down the hallway back from where you’d come. 
“I may have been stabbed a few times.” He offered the piece of information casually, like he was complaining about the price of eggs.
“What’s a few?” Your eyes were wide as the moon. Searching, searching, searching for wounds.
“Ten?” 
Your growl tore through the quiet of the night. 
Your hands were slippery with blood, and Azriel almost slid out of your fingertips as you deposited him against the table. You flung your arms out over the hardwood tabletop sending bottles of ink, pens, and sheafs of papers clattering to the floor before rolling Azriel onto the top and forcing him to lay down.
Under the chandelier, Azriel looked ghastly. The warmth was drained from his skin and the hollows of his eyes and the fullness of his lips were tinged purple from cold. His eyes drifted apart from one another.
“I need you to stay awake.” 
“I will.” His words were slippery as soap on porcelain, syllables sliding into one another as he promised you he would be alright and that he had suffered worse before.  
“Stay awake!” You commanded him and his eyes sharpened ever so slightly on your figure as you tore through the cabinets in the corner. 
Where is it? Where is it? Glass bottles clinked and tottered on rounded bottoms. There! 
You snatched one of the pale green bottles lining the back wall and bit off the cork top with a grimace, spitting it out onto the floor. You could taste the medicine inside coat your teeth with an acrid film. 
“Hey, hey, hey.” You slapped Azriel’s cheeks to keep him awake. “Drink this.” 
Azriel’s lips parted immediately and he accepted every bitter drop you forced down his throat. It wasn’t a cure, but it would help stabilize him long enough for help to arrive. In the time it took for you to call out to Rhys and light the candle that would wake Madja and call her to the Townhouse, Azriel’s cheeks had flushed with some more color. 
The sight did little to ease your worries as you worked on unbuckling the straps of his armor. Piece by piece they fell away with a wet thud on the ground. 
He grabbed your wrist before you could run in search of something to cut off the clothes clinging to him like a second skin. Elain had left gardening shears on the back porch. Perhaps the kitchen had scissors?
“Stay.” He begged. “Please stay.”
“Rhys and Madja will be here soon. I just need to get something to help you.” 
“Then stay.” His grip turned desperate, short nails digging into your forearm. “Stay and help me. Don’t leave me.” 
Azriel might have smiled if he wasn’t in so much pain. His hand slid up the curve of your arm to hold your neck, thumb tracing the line of your jaw. 
“I wanted to see you just in case.” His chest rattled with the effort, “Gods, I missed you.” 
He’d been gone weeks on the Continent, scrounging after every whisper of Koschei’s name as far as the eastern mountains. He’d scavenged and raged. Killed and tortured. And he’d missed you all the while. It was what had possessed him to fly all the way to Velaris, when he would have been better off breaking into the Day Court and throwing himself at the mercy of Helion — your father. 
You felt the tears prick at your eyes, angry and hot. “If you say another fucking word like you’re about to die, I will kill you myself.” You were not prone to violence, and Azriel felt some pride that he could elicit such an emotion from you. 
Luckily for you both, Azriel didn’t get a chance to say anything else, and you didn’t get a chance to murder him before Rhysand, Feyre, Cassian, and Madja were bursting through the front door and following the blood-red trail to the dining room. 
Azriel squeezed your hand once more. “Stay with me.”
“Where else would I go, Az?” You whispered, pressing a quick kiss to the palm of his hand before the others crowded close. 
You stayed at the head of the table, one hand always holding onto Azriel’s. He swallowed his pain, the faintest groans slipping from his lips as arrows were pulled out inch by bloody inch. It was no easy thing to endure, not even for Azriel. Wicked barbs lined the arrow shaft and caught onto the delicate membrane of his wings no matter how Madja twisted, pushed, and pulled. 
One particularly harsh wrench had Azriel crying out, his nails digging into your arm and drawing blood. 
“I’m sorry,” he gasped, feeling your skin break beneath his nails. His skin was tinged green now. A sickly sheen covered his face and fell over his eyes. 
“It’s ok. It’s ok. Just look at me.” You grasped the sides of his face. “Look at me.” 
Once again, Azriel was ready to listen to your commands. His eyes never left yours, not once, until the last of the faebane-tipped arrows dropped onto the table with a menacing ring of metal on wood.
Feyre closed his wounds as best she could, but the flesh inside would take longer to heal. For now all they could do was carefully wipe the blood from his body and carry him up to his bedroom. 
You lingered by Azriel’s side long after he fell asleep, fingers twitching with nerves as you counted every slow and steady breath of his. 
“Y/n.” Feyre gently touched your arm. “He’ll be alright.”
You nodded, still watching Azriel sleep. Then, to your mortification, you burst into tears. Your clothes were drying stiff with sweat and blood — none of it yours — and the red handprints Azriel had left along your arms were turning to copper rust. 
She shushed you, softly tugging at your arms. 
“He-He asked me to stay,” you said between gulps of air. 
“He’d want you to be clean and well-rested, Y/n. Don’t let him wake up feeling guilty.” 
If it weren’t for Feyre, you would have remained glued to the floor of Azriel’s room until you became one of the faces trapped in the wooden floors. You let her lead you across the hall to your own room where she filled the tub with warm water and soap. 
“Shit,” you mumbled. Your fingers shook so much you couldn’t undo the buttons of your dress. Shadows, loose and long as stalks of grass, wound around your back, plucking the buttons undone without a word. 
“He’ll be alright.” Feyre repeated this phrase many times as you scrubbed off the night’s events and turned the water copper brown. The magic of the Townhouse whisked away the grime almost as quickly as it appeared until you sat in a sudsy bath, milky and clean.
“What happened to him, Fey?”
“From what Rhys and I can tell, Koschei had over a dozen archers lying in wait for when he returned to Prythian. We’ve already warned Helion.” 
You nodded. Your head felt heavy on your neck, like a doll with a snapped neck. 
“He nearly died.” Once the words were out in the open, fragile and pure, you broke down again, knees drawn up to your chest in the tub. 
“But he didn’t.” Feyre smoothed back your dripping hair. “It will take more than arrows and faebane for Death to steal him from us, Y/n.” 
Gods you hoped that was true, or else your heart might give out every time Azriel walked out the door. 
You returned to his side the moment you were clothed, hair still dripping onto his gray bed sheets as you leaned forward from your chair and held his hand. He slept on his stomach, wings flared out and peppered with white gauze like a patchwork quilt. Beneath the drape of his blankets you knew more gauze covered his chest and stomach, dotted with blood like blooming roses. 
You didn’t know when you fell asleep, but you awoke to a deep ache in your back and a faint choir of voices in the air. 
Shadows. 
They kissed your cheeks, cool and soft, urging your eyelids open. Azriel was already awake and sitting up in bed with a grimace. One hand clutched his side and a leg hung over the edge of the bed, like he intended to stand. When he saw you, his hazel eyes widened. First in alarm. Then in guilt. 
“Az?” Your voice felt crusted with smoke and sleep and you did what you could to straighten the crook in your neck and your spine from the odd position you’d fallen asleep in. ““You’re not supposed to be sitting up.” Your bones cracked obnoxiously as you moved for the first time in hours, and the guilt in his gaze deepened. 
You pressed lightly against his chest, feeling the gauze scratch your skin, but he did not budge. 
“Az, you need to lay down. What were you even doing up?” 
Azriel’s eyes flickered off to the side. “I was… I was trying to move you to the bed.” 
You swallowed your yawn and blinked in disbelief. “Azriel, you’ve just been shot and stabbed. You need to lay back down.” 
He grabbed your wrists, tugging you forward until you almost collapsed against his chest. “There’s space on the bed. I want you to be comfortable.” 
“The chair is fine, and you are hurt. Now, please—” He did not move. No matter how you reasoned with him. No matter how you tried to shove him back beneath the covers.
“I will lay back down under one condition.” 
You frowned. He was much more stubborn when he was injured. “What condition?” 
“Sleep on the bed. There’s plenty of room.” 
“Az—” 
“Please.” His hands slipped into yours, fingers pressing against the pulse of your wrists. “Y/n, I will be comforted with you beside me.” He held up his finger before you could sleep. “And not in that gods-awful chair. You’ll wake up crooked.”
“I’m not a stalk in a storm,” you grumbled, because it only seemed appropriate that you should fight him on this. Otherwise, you’d have to admit that the thought of melting into his bed set off fireworks in your stomach, exciting and terrifying at the same time. You’d also have to admit the scent of mountain air embedded in every inch of his room brought you comfort. You could lay your head on his pillows and sleep for an eternity. 
I shouldn’t be here. But you let him tug you closer to him. You slid your legs over his waist, calves catching on the waistband of his pants and dragging in a way that had your heart leaping into your stomach until you were safely on the other side of him. 
Azriel’s bed was massive — over 12 feet across to better accommodate the span of his wings. You moved as far away from him as you could without eliciting offense and stared at the window. 
Your muscles clenched as he shifted closer to you, wings rustling against the silk sheets and whispering as he got comfortable. Every time he so much as shifted, your back prickled, as though you had eyes there that shifted to soak up every inch of him. 
He’s hurt and I’m taking up space and—
He reached out his arm and his fingertips brushed against the curve of your back. You stiffened like you’d been struck by lightning. If Azriel were awake, he would have apologized and wrenched back his hand as if burned. But he was fast asleep and the touch was a natural movement he made in his dreams where he was imagining that you were closer to him. So close that he could breathe down your neck and feel you melt beneath his touch. 
You didn’t sleep, as much as the lull of his breathing threatened to sink you into sweet and comforting dreams. The sky was but a lighter shade of black when you were slipping out of bed with barely a whisper. Miraculously, Azriel did not awaken, and his shadows ghosted over the floors drowsily.
You were no stranger to dawn as you padded down to the kitchens. You hummed to yourself, cracking eggs over a well-greased skillet with onions, tomatoes, and peppers tossed in. They bobbed up and down in a sea of yellow like ducks on water. Potatoes browned to your right, their skins crackling and spitting grease as bacon popped and sizzled beside them. 
You ate as you went, plating the final meal for Azriel, who—if you knew anything about him—would be waking shortly after the first rays of sunlight split his shadows in two. 
You slipped back into his room as quietly as you’d left, and then nearly leapt out of your skin to find a dark mass of shadow covering the bed. 
“You’re awake,” you said blankly. 
Azriel propped himself up onto his elbows, back rippling as he forced his stiff and swollen wounds to stretch until he could sit up in bed. 
“Where did you go?” There was but a faint slur to his words. “You weren’t here when I woke up.” 
“I was making breakfast.” You dragged over the ottoman from the foot of his bed as a makeshift table. “Did you brush your teeth already?” Not that it mattered. A sour mouth wouldn’t keep him from a meal if he was hungry. 
The flash of fear in his eyes was so subtle, so brief, that you missed it. 
“I’m not hungry.” 
“Well that doesn’t really matter. Madja said you should eat first thing. Oh!” You plucked a purple glass bottle from his bedside table. “And she said to drink this with a meal.” You pushed it into his hands, reluctant as they were to take the stoppered bottle from you. 
“I can’t imagine eating right now.” He said, shaking his head. His cheeks puffed out and he swallowed hard. “The smell… it’s… I can’t stomach it.” 
You frowned at that. He liked your cooking. It was only due to circumstance that you hadn’t been able to cook for him in months. 
“Can you please try?” you begged. “Just a bite.”
His skin turned pallid and the dark marks beneath his eyes stood out. He picked up a fork with a trembling hand, stuck it into a potato, then dropped it as if it burned. Suddenly, he regretted asking you to stay the night. Guilt ate away at his stomach, twisting it like spaghetti on a fork. 
You sighed in dejection. “I’ll bring it back downstairs.” You said. You began collecting the silverware from where you’d left them by his side. 
“I’m sorry.” He murmured, catching your wrist in his hand. 
You smiled softly. “Try and get some rest.” 
“Will you be back?” His words caught you by the door. 
“You won’t even realize I was gone.” 
He doubted that very much. Still, he settled back in bed, rolling onto his stomach to keep its rumbling at bay. He was quite hungry. 
You closed the door behind you, carrying the untouched plate of eggs and potatoes. Cassian stopped his whistling as he made his way down the hall, a teasing smile playing at his lips until he caught sight of your dejected expression. 
“What’s got our resident Librarian frowning? Did someone misplace a book in the House?” 
You didn’t rise to Cassian’s jests. You cast a sullen glance back at Azriel’s door like it was personally responsible for everything, and shrugged. “He hasn’t eaten since he’s been back and I’m starting to get worried. I read up on Illyrian anatomy weeks ago and he should be fine enough to eat by now.” 
Cassian leaned down, taking a careful sniff of the plate before grabbing hold of a butter and rosemary roasted potato and plucking it in his mouth. It was cold and the butter had hardened into a greasy slick, but it was still good. He told you as much as he walked with you back to the kitchens, stealing slivers of potato as he went.
“It’s nice to know my cooking’s not at fault.” 
Cassian jerked back in surprise and sudden understanding. “You made him that?”
“Yes. I know the House has its own will, but I like to cook. And it still feels strange having food just appear out of nowhere.”  
Cassian fought with all his might to keep the cheeky grin from his face. 
Poor Azriel, forced to go hungry because he was still too much of a sheepish fool to tell you about the mating bond let alone accept it. 
He clicked his tongue. He loved his brother to the grave and back, but Azriel had a horrible habit of getting trapped in his own mind. Cassian had hoped you would help with that, given you suffered similarly. 
“I wouldn’t take it too personally. Azriel’s a picky eater. Always has been.”
That was a complete and utter lie. Growing up in the Illyrian war camps meant you either starved or ate whatever gray-brown mush you could get your hands on. Rhysand and Azriel had been quicker to move on from the rugged Illyrian lifestyle, and Rhysand especially had used his High Lord privileges to cultivate a refined and expensive taste, but if they were hungry and limited they didn’t give two shits what went in their mouths. 
“I didn’t realize you could afford to be picky in a war camp,” You grumbled. You dropped the plate’s contents onto a skillet, patiently waiting for the House to light a toasty fire. There was no need to let good food go to waste.   
You thought over it, some minor irritation settling in that the Shadowinger had rejected the food you’d worked to make. It really didn’t make sense that Azriel would be so particular about food. Or anything for that matter. He’d always struck you as the practical, bare-bones sort, and you knew him well enough now to know that was true. His very job required it of him. But then again you couldn’t remember the last time he’d accepted any food that you’d offer-
You froze. Oh. Oh.
The first night he’d visited your apartment in the Day Court, he’d refused your tea and cakes before leaving abruptly. You’d agonized over that night for months, trying to figure out what you might have done to scare him off. But he’d been so kind and shy afterwards and then the whole matter of Koschei had arose and you’d never given it much thought because he just seemed so familiar and... Oh. OH-
“BASTARD!” You spat out in shock. The skillet dropped to the stove with a sharp cry that had Cassian blinking. He’d never seen you like this. So…agitated.
Had you always been this dull? A year ago you might have been able to blame it on your naïveté, but you weren’t so socially misinformed now and yet this was a bit much. And… oh you couldn’t wrap your head around your own stupidity to even begin to think about a mating bond with…
A mating bond with Azriel. You… you were his mate. He was yours. And you were his. And suddenly the pieces of it were falling into place so quickly you thought you might be crushed beneath the weight. 
Mate.
Even the thought of the word crashed around your mind incessantly, like an anxious dog trying to settle down to sleep. Yet it all made such perfect sense. The way Azriel always found you when you were in danger or grieving. The awful days when Azriel had been away and you’d felt like a piece of your body had been severed. The way that the world felt right when he was beside you. Maybe it was the bond, maybe it was just something born out of love, or maybe they were one and the same. It was impossible to tell but it didn’t change anything.
Mate.
Cassian glanced sideways at you and said cautiously, “We’re both bastards, Y/n. I don’t think that’s much of an insult coming from your mouth.”
Your eyes snapped to his, suddenly remembering that he was in the kitchen with you. You brandished a fork in your hand like a weapon, pointing the pronged end up at him like he was a piece of meat to be skewered. You were shorter than him, but the sharpness in your eyes made him pause.
“You.” Such a simple word, yet it sounded so threatening. “You knew didn’t you?”
Was he sweating? The room felt warm.
“I don’t know what-“ You snatched his wrist and with your magic, you stole the information from him that you needed. It was as easy as plucking a flower from a field. 
Fuck. Cassian groaned at the same time you did. You knew now. Not that you really needed confirmation from Cassian. Still. It was rather embarrassing to learn you were the last of… well everyone to know, even if it was your fault for not noticing the signs. In your defense you had been preoccupied with other matters…
“Stupid, stupid, stupid.” You muttered, heating up the remaining food with a great deal of force before setting down a fresh tray, plate, utensils, and mug of tea on the countertop.
You keep muttering to yourself, your joy disguised by your embarrassment and no small amount of shock. Cassian watched nervously as you prepped the plate. 
You’d no sooner growled, “Move,” before Cassian leapt to the side and you set off out the door and down the hallway back to Azriel’s room.
She knows. One shadow whispered in his ear. Azriel felt his heart skyrocket and his stomach plunge to the cradle of his hip bones. 
She seems… upset.
Upset was a mild word. You were alight with every emotion possible — fury, fear, anxiety, excitement, love — and Azriel struggled to tease them apart. It was like he’d been hit in the chest by a tangle of snakes, each a writhing, living, ever-changing thing. One moment you seemed nervous, the next angry. 
“You.” Your knuckles were pale as they gripped the tray. Sunlight molded to your form like a crown, and it became all the more apparent that you were Helion’s daughter — his bastard daughter, but daughter nevertheless. 
He scrambled into a seated position just in time for you to drop the tray in his lap with a clatter that sent fork and knife skittering over the dish.
You looked down at the tray, then up at his eyes, wide and molten as amber. “You didn’t tell me.” You didn’t need to elaborate any further. 
“I didn’t think—”
“You’re right. You didn’t.” You blinked, suddenly shy. “Did I not make it clear enough that I liked you? That I loved—love you? Or perhaps you don’t… perhaps you don’t want me.” That was a possibility you hadn’t thought of in your excitement to see him again. 
Oh gods, you hadn’t thought of that possibility had you? You’d just aggressively thrown food at him, expecting that he would—
Azriel gripped your chin, forcing you to look at him again. Your cheeks were warm and painted with color. 
“I always worried I was reading into actions that meant nothing to you. But, never think for a moment that I don’t want you.” He smiled then, a shy, secret smile reserved for you. “I’ve wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you.” 
Now your cheeks were burning, but Azriel did not mind feeling this kind of heat on his hands. He let go of your chin, twirling a fork with his fingers like it was a knife. It was one of his few nervous ticks whose knowledge was reserved for the people he trusted. For the people he loved. 
“Being with me will put you in more danger than you know.” 
“But I expect it will bring me more happiness than I could have ever imagined.” You raised a hand up to his face, twisting away a stubborn curl of hair that fell over his forehead. “And you forget who my father is,” you reminded him. “Maybe it is I who will put you in danger.” 
“Maybe,” Azriel whispered. His breath fanned over your cheeks, soft and sweet. 
You picked up the fork, lifting it up in between you. 
“Eat.” You commanded him. 
Azriel smiled, plucking it from your fingers and stabbing a potato. He sighed. “I never could deny you anything, and I would never want to,” he said, before chewing carefully. Cautiously. 
You blinked in surprise, instinctively taking a step away when you felt something new and warm begin to burn in your chest, like someone had taken a drop of the molten hazel in Azriel’s eyes and dropped it into your heart. 
“Oh.” You breathed. 
“Yes,” Azriel murmured, “An unusual feeling, I know.” He placed the tray beside him and he’d no sooner opened his arms before you’d buried your face in the crook of his neck. You wanted more of that warmth in your chest. You wanted to slip into Azriel's skin as close as possible to his beating heart. To feel the mating bond wrap around you both like a curtain to block out the rest of the world. 
Azriel groaned in pain, but would not let you leave his embrace. No pain had ever been worth so much. 
You forced him to finish eating, even though all he wanted was the taste of you on his lips. “Later,” you promised him. When he was healed and whole there would be more breathless kisses and urgent touches, but for now he had to content himself with eating his meal and drinking his draught. But he would not be denied the press of your skin against his as you slipped beneath the covers and curled up beside him. This time, you fell asleep quickly and your dreams came over you like water. 
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imaginaryf1shots · 3 months ago
Text
Soulmate | Charles Leclerc Ver.
WC: 4.8K
Summery: Once you hit puberty, a red string ties both you and your soulmate together until the moment you meet.
Warning: Not edited, nothing else?
Masterlist
Charles Masterlist
Max Ver. , Oscar Ver. , Lewis Ver.
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You live in a world where when a person hits puberty they see a red string. The string is tied to your ring finger on your left hand, and only you get to see the string, well… you and the person on the other side of the string anyway. Your soulmate. It’s like a delicate myth, but it’s real life. There’s a delicate, ethereal thread that connects two souls that are destined to find each other. 
The soulmate string gets tighter and more taught the closer you are to meeting your soulmate, and if you’re one of the lucky ones, the moment you touch your string it sends a ting to your soulmate. Not all soulmates can feel it and not both of them have to. 
And just your luck it seems like you’re one of the ‘lucky’ soulmates who get to feel it, you believe 99% that your soulmate doesn’t share that ability. Because no matter how many times you played with the string your soulmate didn’t touch his. But, he plays with it all the time. Sometimes, too much. Especially when you were younger and couldn’t focus on anything but the tingling going down your body.
One thing about the string is it points in the direction of your soulmate. If you follow the string it’ll lead you straight to your soulmate. It seemed like your soulmate loved travelling, because there’s no way he can be in almost every direction during a week or two, so finding him seemed almost impossible to you. 
You’ve been aware of the string for it seemed like as long as you could remember, life before it seemed to not exist. From when you hit puberty, you could feel the subtle presence that seemed to come and go. A reminder that somewhere out there, someone was connected to you.
Your life in many ways was ordinary. You had a steady job, lived in a comfortable apartment. Spend your free time indulging in your hobbies, going out, meeting friends. Yet there always seemed to be something missing.
It wasn’t that you were unhappy; you simply felt incomplete, like a puzzle with one piece missing. And no matter how much you tried to focus on other things, the string was always there, a quiet reminder that your other half was still out there somewhere.
Then, one morning, everything changed.
You woke up with a holt, your heart racing as if you just ran a marathon. You sat up in bed, breathing heavily, and instinctively placing your hand on your ring finger, where the string was tied. It pulsed with energy, stringer than you’ve ever felt before. The sensation was overwhelming, almost like the string itself was calling you out, urging you to pay attention.
You pulled up your laptop as if you were on autopilot and opened a web page you’ve never opened before, and did something you’ve never done before, all following what the string was urging you to do.
After you’re done and you lean back on the headboard do you think about what you did, you just booked a ticket to a Formula 1 race.
Why? You’ve never seen a race before, never been interested. Just watched the trailer for Drive to Survive on Netflix. But the idea is planted firmly in your head. It wasn’t just a passing thought, and you don’t feel like changing your mind, it was a compulsion, a pull so strong that it felt as if the string itself was guiding you.
This didn’t make sense and yet it felt completely right. The string was humming in approva, telling you that this is the right thing, the right path.
Now you have to book a flight and accommodation to Italy, Monza. It was all happening in a few weeks, everything was super expensive, but you didn’t think about your budget and all the things that you no longer will be able to do. Within minutes, you had booked everything you needed, your heart pounding in a mixture of excitement and nervousness. It was as if you no longer had control and just a passenger being guided by the string.
Over the next few weeks, it was like fate was playing something on you, your social media was filled with everything Formula 1, you kept dreaming of red cars, loud engines and the thrill of speed.  You gravitated towards the colour more than any other time in your life. It was as if the universe was conspiring to ensure you followed the string’s guidance, and you found herself surrendering to it completely.
As the day of the race approached, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something monumental was about to happen. The string was more active than ever, pulling you toward a future you could only imagine. It was different from the tingling you got whenever your soulmate touched the string. However you found yourself doubting it all, what had once seemed like a brilliant and fated decision a few weeks ago now felt reckless and impulsive. You had never been one to do things on a whim, especially to the point of travelling and spending a lot of money on a trip you’ll be on alone.
The strong tugged insistently, refusing to let you back out, every time you opened up to cancel your plans, the tug grew stronger, like a gentle and firm reminder that this was where you were meant to be. The undeniable force, propelling you toward Monza.
Despite this, the anxiety gnawed at you. What if you were making a mistake? What if you got there and nothing happened, no grand revelation, no destined encounter? The string might have been real, but it didn’t come with guarantees or explanations.
And so, with your bags packed and your heart full of anticipation, you set off for Monza, ready to embrace whatever the string had in store for you.
You didn’t know what to expect, but one thing was certain: the string had never led you wrong before. And now, as it pulled you toward the Italian Grand Prix, you knew that you were  about to find out just how powerful the invisible thread could be.
You spent the days leading up to your departure preparing as best you could, though no amount of packing or planning could ease the nervous tension that coiled in your stomach. You packed your bags carefully, choosing outfits that would suit the late summer Italian weather, making sure to include a few pieces that could be considered stylish yet practical, you had no idea what the atmosphere at an F1 race would be like, after all. 
Your friends, while supportive, didn’t quite understand what had driven you to make this decision. 
“An F1 race? I didn’t know you were into that.” One of your closest friends had said, a curious smile on her face when you had mentioned the trip.
“I’m not, really.” You had replied, the words sounding strange even to your own ears. “I just… I don’t know. I feel like I need to be there. It’s hard to explain.”
“Well, who knows? Maybe your string is leading you to someone important.” Your friend had teased, though her eyes had softened with understanding.
“Maybe.” You had echoed, your hand instinctively moving to the spot on your finger where you felt the string the strongest. But you hadn’t told anyone just how intense the pull had become, how the string seemed almost alive with energy, vibrating with anticipation.
The day of your departure arrived, and with it, a wave of nervous excitement. You boarded the plane with your heart pounding, each breath feeling like a step closer to something inevitable. As the plane took off, you closed your eyes and tried to focus on the rhythm of the string, letting it soothe your nerves. It pulsed steadily, a reassuring presence that reminded you weren’t alone in this, someone was on the other end, and they were getting closer with every passing minute.
The day had begun like any other for Charles, but there was a subtle shift in the air that he couldn’t quite place. As he went through his morning routine, something felt different, a lingering sense of anticipation that made his pulse quicken. The sensation wasn’t entirely unfamiliar; he had felt it before, at various points in his life. But today, it was stronger, more insistent, as if something monumental was coming.
He absently tugged at the invisible string that had been a part of his life for as long as he could remember. The string was always there, a quiet reminder that somewhere out in the world, his soulmate was waiting for him. It had been with him through every high and low, through victories on the track and moments of doubt, always steady, always present. It has always brought him comfort.
But today, the string was different. It thrummed with an intensity he had never felt before, like a live wire humming with electricity. Each gentle tug he gave it seemed to amplify the feeling, sending a wave of warmth through his chest. It was almost distracting, pulling his thoughts away from the upcoming race and toward the person on the other end of the string. Whoever they were, they were close. Closer than they had ever been before.
The pull felt urgent, almost impatient, as if it was trying to tell him something. He tried to push the thought aside, focusing on his training, his strategy, but the string wouldn’t be ignored.
Between meetings with the team and media obligations, Charles found himself reaching for the string, giving it a gentle tug as if testing the waters. Each time, he felt an answering pull, faint but unmistakable. It was as if the string was alive, responding to his touch like never before, and with each interaction, the sensation grew stronger. The closer the race day came, the more the string seemed to tighten, almost pulling him off balance.
Charles had heard stories from other drivers about the moment they met their soulmates—how the string had led them, sometimes in the most unexpected ways. He had always believed his time would come, but he hadn’t expected it to be now, in the middle of one of the most important weekends of his career. And yet, the string had never been wrong before. If it was this insistent, it could only mean one thing: his soulmate was near.
The thought filled him with a strange mix of excitement and nervousness. What if they were right here, in Monza? What if he was about to meet the person who was connected to him by this invisible thread, the person who was meant to complete him? 
That night, after a long day of preparations, Charles lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling of his hotel room. The hum of the city outside was a comforting backdrop, but his thoughts were miles away. The string was taut now, almost vibrating with energy, and he could feel it deep in his chest. There was no mistaking it anymore, something life-changing was about to happen, and it was coming fast.
He closed his eyes, letting his hand rest over his ring finger, where the string was most palpable. The connection was strong, almost as if the person on the other end was reaching out to him, trying to bridge the gap between them. He tugged on the string once more, feeling the now familiar warmth spread through him, and this time, the pull was even stronger, almost desperate.
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he thought about the possibilities. Whoever they were, wherever they were, they were close, so close that he could almost feel their presence. The anticipation was almost unbearable, but it was a good kind of tension, the kind that made his heart race in the best way possible.
Charles drifted off to sleep with the string still humming in his chest, the last thought on his mind being the image of meeting his soulmate, finally seeing the person who had been connected to him all these years. The person who, in some inexplicable way, had always been a part of his life.
By the time you arrived in Italy, the string was humming with energy. The warm, late summer air greeted you as you stepped out of the airport, a stark contrast to the cool anxiety that clung to your skin. Monza was just a short train ride away, and the closer you got, the more the string seemed to tighten, as if your soulmate was moving as well, drawing closer.
When you finally arrived at the race venue, you were overwhelmed by the sheer size and scale of everything. The roar of engines, the excited chatter of thousands of fans, it was all a sensory overload. The red of Ferrari catching your eye. The same shade of red you’ve been dreaming of.
You moved through the mass of people, clutching your pass around your neck, trying to steady your racing heart. The string was in control now, pulling you, almost guiding your steps as you navigated through the chaos. It was a strange sensation, like being led by an invisible hand, and you found yourself trusting it completely. You followed the pull without question, weaving through the crowded as if you new exactly what you were doing, and where you’re going.
The closer you got to the paddock area, the stronger the pull became. It was no longer just a gentle tug but a firm and insistent force that you could never ignore. Your pace quickened, your heart pounding. You didn’t know what you were looking for, but you knew you were close, closer than you had ever been before.
And then, suddenly, you felt it. A strong, unmistakable tug on the string, as if someone on the other end was pulling you forward. You stopped dead  in your tracks, startled by the intensity of the sensation. It was as if the world around you had shifted, the noise and chaos of the race fading into the background as the string took centre stage. 
And then you weren’t moving of your own merit, it was literally as if someone got a hold of the soulmate string and was pulling on it, your hand in the air and you were walking, so you wouldn’t fall straight onto your face. Each step felt heavy with anticipation of what will meet you on the other end of the string.
And then, just as you rounded a corner, you were stopped by security. A large, stern-faced guard held up a hand, barring your path. “I’m sorry, miss, this area is restricted.” He said, his tone firm but polite.
Your heart sank, and it took everything in you to not take a step forward when the next tug came. You could feel your soulmate, just out of reach. Panic began to set in, as you tried to explain, the words tumbling out in a frantic rush.
“Please, you don't understand.” You pleaded. “ I have to get through, My soulmate is inside, and the string is pulling me.”
The guard frowned, clearly sceptical. “I can’t let you in without the proper pass. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to turn back.”
But you didn’t turn around, you couldn’t. The next pull had you walking a few steps forwards.
“Please, please, just let me through, I need to find my soulmate.”
“Look, we get that a lot, the fans always come trying to act as if one of the drivers is their soulmates when it’s clearly not.” The guard said and another one came to see what was going on, both blocked your path completely.
“I’m not a-” You’re cut off but a hard tug, the guards hold your biceps to stop you from moving. 
“What the…” The second guard trails off, your legs aren’t moving but your upper body is being pushed by an invisible force. The guards share a look, this is real, your soulmate is inside. “Go with her, I’ll stay here.”
“Thank you, thank you.” You told them and followed the string. The guard walked by your side, your heart skipped a beat in thought that you’ll finally meet your soulmate.
The paddock was a flurry of activity, with team members rushing about, media personnel setting up cameras, and the roar of engines echoing through the area. For most, it was just another thrilling race day at Monza, but for Charles, today felt different. The string tugged at him with a force that was nearly overwhelming, its intensity far beyond anything he had ever felt before. 
It was like a constant thrum in his chest, an insistent reminder that something, someone, was close. Every nerve in his body was attuned to it, and he couldn’t focus on anything else. He had tried to go through the usual pre-race motions, but his concentration kept slipping. His thoughts were consumed by the string and the strange sense of anticipation that had been building for days.
Charles wandered through the paddock most of the day, pretending to be busy, but his mind was elsewhere. He kept glancing around, searching for something he couldn’t name. He tugged at the string absently, the familiar gesture now charged with an electric energy. Each pull was met with an answering force, stronger than ever, as if the person on the other end was tugging back, trying to reach him.
Carlos and his team noticed his distracted state, but none of them said anything. They knew Charles well enough to understand that something significant was going on, though they couldn’t begin to guess what it might be. 
Charles paused for a moment, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He needed to get a grip on himself, he had a race to focus on. But no matter how hard he tried, the string wouldn’t let him go. Charles allowed himself to follow the tugging of the string, he got out of the garage and into the pitlane, the string wasn’t loose on the ground anymore, it was taught, touching it softly, Charles just followed his heart and started pulling. It looked strange to those standing around him but he just pulled, he didn’t care.
The tugging grew worse the more you walked. You definitely gained more than a few weirded out looks from people standing and walking around. You came out onto the pitlane and followed the string through a few people standing around, and then you saw it. Right there is your soulmate, he’s pulling on the sting with a cute but confused look on his face.
“You can stop pulling now.” You say once you were close enough so he could hear you. Charles looks up at the sound of your voice, his heart skipping a beat, there you stood. The most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, the sun was coming up from behind you, making you shine. 
You weren’t prepared for the sight of the man standing before you, the man who was connected to you by the same string that had been with you for so many years.
The world seemed to fade away, the noise of the paddock reduced to a distant hum as the two of you stared at each other in disbelief. The string shimmered between you, a tangible symbol of the connection that had always been there, just waiting for the right moment to bring them together. 
Charles followed the string on your finger to his, making sure that you’re his actual soulmate, even though the fact that he can see the string in the first place is an indication of  your connection.
Charles took a tentative step forward, the string tugging at him with a gentle insistence. The tension in the string eased slightly, as if satisfied that its work was nearly done.
Finally, Charles found his voice. “It’s you.” He said softly, the words coming out almost as a whisper. “You’re the one.”
You nodded, unable to speak past the lump in your throat. You could feel the truth of his words in every part of your being. The sting is shorter than it’s ever been, brighter than it’s ever been.
As his fingers brushed the glowing thread, it dissolved into a soft light, disappearing from view but leaving behind a deep, unbreakable bond. The moment your hands touched, a surge of warmth flooded through both of you, a sensation of completeness that neither had ever felt before. It was as if a missing piece had finally clicked into place, and you were whole for the first time in your lives. When did he even get this close?
For a long moment, neither of you spoke. You simply stood there, gazing at each other, the reality of what happened sinking in. The noise of the paddock fading even further into the background until it was just the two of you. Looking at your hands, you see the last of the string dissolve into nothing, and in its place a tattoo-like line wrap around your finger where the string once was, the mark on  your finger an exact replica to the one that made itself at home on Charles’ finger.
For a brief moment, it was as though time had stopped. But soon, reality began to seep back in. The sounds of the paddock returned to normal, the chatter of people, the hum of engines, and the distant roar of the crowd became more prominent. Yet even as the world resumed its usual pace, you and Charles remained locked in the orbit of their newfound connection.
"Would you like to... go somewhere quieter?" Charles finally asked, his voice gentle, almost hesitant. Despite his fame and confidence on the track, this moment felt far more significant, and he was suddenly unsure of himself in a way he hadn’t been in a long time.
You nodded, grateful for the suggestion. “Yes, that would be nice.” You replied softly, your voice still trembling with emotion. It’s then that you notice the amount of people standing around you that saw what had just happened. You have no idea why they were all watching the two of you with intensity.
Charles led you through the busiest parts of the garage, with practised steps. Once you were alone in his driver’s room, Charles turned to face you, his expression a mixture of awe and uncertainty.
“I don’t even know where to start.” He admitted with a slight chuckle. “This is… well, it’s a lot.”
“It is.” You smiled feeling a little more at ease now that you were away from the chaos. “I’ve imagined this moment so many times, but now that it’s here, I don’t know what to say.”
“It’s a bit much.” Charles takes your hand in his as if he’s been doing it for years, it all felt familiar, yet new and warm. “Have you always liked Formula 1?”
“No, I was never interested until a couple months ago when I woke up and booked the tickets.” You confess suddenly feeling shy. “All I know is from the few videos I watched since booking the tickets.”
“So… Do you know who I am?... That sounded a bit like I'm arrogant." Charles' face went red, he rubbed the back of his neck feeling embarrassed by how the words came out.
"No, no, not at all." You tell him with a soft smile. "I feel a bit embarrassed that I don't."
"Don't be, that means we'll get to know each other from... well, each other." Charles squeezes your hand and you smile and nod.
"I guess we will." Your smile was blinding, Charles can't believe he's spent all his life without having you in it, now that he met you it feels like he just started living, this is a feeling unlike any he felt before. You look around and realise something. "You know red has been such a big colour in my life for so long, but recently the presence of red has been overly so."
"I guess it's because I bleed Ferrari." Charles said.
"What exactly do you do?" You asked him, looking at his clothes, he was just wearing a Ferrari team shirt and jeans.
"I uh, I drive for Scuderia Ferrari." Your mouth makes an 'O' shape and you nod to yourself.
"You're one of the 20 drivers?" Charles lets out a yeah, his smile didn't drop from his face. "We'll have to sit down so you can explain everything to me."
"We will, after I win for you today." Charles promised you, your eyes went wide.
“Do you have to go? You don't have to stay with me, I have tickets for the FIA hospitality." You say pointing at the pass around your neck.
“Not happening, you'll stay in Ferrari, I'll get you a pass before I have to go in a bit." Charles didn't want to let you go and it was obvious. "Give me your phone, just in case."
“Want to get my number already." You tease him before you unlock your phone and give it to him, he puts in his number and calls himself. Charles takes you out of his room, his hand in yours, gaining smiles from everyone he meets. Charles is loved by anyone that has ever come in contact with him, so seeing him with his soulmate makes everyone happy for him. You're given a soulmate pass, teams always had those on hand just in case something like this happens.
Charles leaves you with Rebecca, Carlos' girlfriend, before he has to go. You admit to her your ignorance when it comes to Formula one, she takes it on herself to explain the basics. Charles comes over before he has to get onto the track for the start of the race, and pulls you in for a hug. You sigh in content and return his hug, feeling warm and happy.
"Good luck." You say smiling up at him, your eyes taking his in.
"Thank you." He says, kisses your cheek before he leaves, your face goes red. Rebeca bumps her shoulder with yours and gives you a teasing smile.
“Wait, he's first.” It takes you longer than those around you to realise what has happened.
“Yes! Oh my god!” Rebeca is excited, this is a big win for the Tifosi, currently Ferrari is 1 and 3 and there's 3 more laps to go. “This is Ferrari's home race, this means so much to the team and fans.”
You all watch the last few laps with baited breath, when Charles crosses the line, the garage erupts in cheers, jumping, clapping, and patting on backs. It's chaotic.
“Come on, we get to meet them in Parc Ferme.” Rebeca takes your hand in hers and pulls you with her through the crowd, leading you to the front of the barriers, Lewis in second place is the first to come back followed by Carlos. Carlos jumps from his car and runs to the team, they shout and pull him up so he's part crowd surfing before they place him down, he then goes to Rebeca for a hug and kiss. Meanwhile Charles comes back, he stands in the car with his arms up in celebration, the whole crowd cheers, the team cheers, you clap and smile at your soulmate, you feel his happiness from where you stood, you don't know if it's because of the mate bond or whatever but you feel it. Charles jumps from his car and launches himself into the arms of the team, they pull him up and higher than Carlos, cheering and screaming, they place him down before too long and pat his back in congratulations, Charles looks around until his eyes fall on you, his eyes are scrunched under the helmet no doubt he's smiling. He takes it off while he walks toward you, with determent steps. Charles only hesitates for a second when he's stood in front of you before he puts his hands on your cheeks; they're so big, his fingers are in your hair. You lean in and up and Charles meets you halfway. You've known each other for barely any time, but you're soulmates, you're meant to be. The feeling you get once your lips touch is unlike any you've ever felt before, it was like you were connected, like you could feel his emotions and he could feel yours in that moment. Everything was amplified.
"My lucky charm." Charles says once he pulls back and places his forehead on yours.
"Good thing you're stuck with me then." You say breathless and smile, Charles returns the smile, another kiss and he's pulled away from you for the weighting, interviews and then the podiums, before more interviews and ending with debrief.
Main Taglist:
@gnatthefly . @mochimommy2002 . @llando4norris . @mrswolffs-blog . @barcelonaloverf1life . @c-losur3 . @xoscar03 . @schniti-is-in-the-house . @lottalove4evelyn . 
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jellyfishsthings · 4 months ago
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The five times you left Spencer speechless (or how I like to call it, in quiet awe)
Warnings: reader wears glasses but no biggie, reader can fight and use a gun because why not, bau!reader, smitten Spence, nothing happens just feelz, Spence's drug addiction... I think that it
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1. The first meeting
It had been a long week. People were crowding the small space of the bullpen. It had been the first case after Gideon's return, and Spencer had been buzzing with excitement to work with his mentor again. The case hadn't been particularly easy, and almost one agent named Elle Greenaway had been lightly injured, who would from now on work with them. His eyes were burning, and he gave into the temptation to wear his glasses as he looked into the nearly filled report in front of him, containing at least seventeen pages worth of information. Madame Strauss claimed that his reports were unnecessarily detailed, how that was a problem he couldn't tell. The hours seemed to blur together as he continued writing his report, losing many minutes trying to form his handwriting into something more presentable.
That was the moment. The time he first laid eyes on her. He had read many romance novels, which he wasn't going to admit, that the moment someone met the one, time seemed to slow to near non-existent and his reality at the moment seemed like something coming out of a book.
She was wearing a chunky white pullover with huge sleeves that strangely represented bells and a light brown plaited skirt that reached just at the middle of her thighs. Long legs that seemed to be going on for miles ended at a pair of black Mary Jane's. And sure, her appearance was incredible, but that was not what made him make a double take. He was sure he was hallucinating as he saw the most beautiful face he had seen in his life, looking as if it was something that came out of a Renaissance painting. Her hair was in a braid resting on her shoulder, and wire-framed glasses sat on her nose, making her eyes appear slightly bigger. A tattered pair of wired headphones framed her face, and for a second, Spencer forgot how to breathe, the most cognitive function, the one he had been able to do since he first entered this world. His ears were buzzing, and his brain was running in endless circles.
A hand was moving in front of him, and he stared at the angel that was standing in front of him. Her mouth was moving, probably talking to him, and he willed himself to pay attention.
“S-Sorry.”
“It's alright.” The angel answered him; maybe he had finally overdone it with the sugared coffee he was drinking as if it were his primary source of hydration. “ I am looking for Aaron Hotchner.”
“R-Right. Umm…”
“Good, you are here. Come with me.” Hotch's voice echoed in the empty room, and Spencer's cheeks flamed an angry red as the girl turned and kindly waved at him as she quickly climbed the stairs and entered the conference room. Spencer had half a mind not to turn his chair and stare at her. With an unnecessary loud cough, he turned back at his report and thanked his luck for Morgan's absence because if he had witnessed this, he was going to hear the end of this anytime
2. The lesson
A month had passed since he first saw her. And yet, he could recall her vividly, the deep-set eyes, the rosy lips. His birthday had been a blur as he celebrated them in the office and invited JJ in a lame attempt to ask her out which just resulted in a long evening where JJ and Penelope talked endlessly and he couldn't comprehend the sport he was supposedly watching.
He was waiting in Hotch's office as a stand-in. He was teaching a young agent to join the unit and he was thrilled when he heard that the student was just a few months shy of his own age. At the moment, he was trying to move a huge board to the office when someone lightly tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around way too fast and came face to face with the angel he saw, the one he thought he willed into existence.
“Do you need help with that?”
“No, no. I got it. Are you Hotch's student?” He asked and immediately regretted it. Of course, she was his student. Why did he have to lose half of his IQ around her? He gave one last hard shove to the board end and then aligned it with the desk. “So um… Hotch asked me to be your tutor for today if that is alright with you. Um… What material are you studying?”
“Mostly psychology. Which I am not very good at, by the way.” She retrieved a huge book from her bag and a small pencil case that was filled with just a pen and three markers, red, yellow, and green. Just as she opened the book, he could see that its majority was colored and that it had notes in the margins. His heart thudded louder in his chest.
“What do all those colors mean?” He asked curiously as he approached her.
“Well green means that I understand it; yellow means that I am working on it and red … I just have no clue. It's just mostly yellow at the moment, though the notes help.”
“What's red?” She looked at him in a strange way, and too late did he realize that she was studying him, his question had been earnest and probably too forward, and he rushed to explain himself. “ I just - I asked because I have a PhD in the subject.” He could see her eyebrows lifting before they settled in a scowl and whacked his brain to understand what he said wrong.
“You are Doctor Reid, right?” She asked quietly, and he stupidly nodded as an answer to her question. “Well there is … I don't understand some differences between some categories of killers; they have much in common, so why are they in a separate category?”
“The answer is actually way simpler I'd you think of it in a Venn diagram.” He rushed to the board, and drew a few circles, and he started writing on it as he explained its category separately. He talked for what seemed like hours, and he embarrassingly looked at his watch. He must have been talking for over an hour, and he turned to look at the girl only to find her writing on her book, still in the margins looking at him expectantly. The way she was staring at him almost had him stammering once again, and he felt his knees weaken for a strange reason. So he carried on.
When he was done, he turned to look at her; she was still writing something before she whispered. “You need to tuck your chest in when you are firing a gun.”
“I'm sorry?”
“Aaron said that he was having trouble with one of his agents' firearm training, and it must be you. You have a long torso, so your weight center is different from the diagrams in the training books you must have read. That's why you keep missing.” And just like that, she was gone again wishing him good night and a nice weekend.
His head was spinning as he walked towards the training room, and he wore his earmuffs and protective glasses. Tuck your chest in. And so he did before aiming and pressing the trigger three times. His shots were the best, but he hadn't missed. Pride swarmed his chest; he was going to do it.
The next day, he failed his exam. He had lost his gun.
3. The first case
Small-town cases were always the most thrilling in his humble opinion. And any time somehow a cult or demons were involved, he worked ten times harder to prove them wrong. Only this time, their team had a new member. Gideon did seem to take a liking to her, in contrast with Spencer, who was incredibly warm to her the moment she entered the room. Maybe it was because he had met her before, or maybe it was because whenever she was around him he felt like a firework ready to explode. Somehow, his conversation with Morgan had turned to the explanation of attraction in the neurotic sector.
“Chemicals, such as dopamine, may cause one to be giddy, euphoric, and even to experience suppressed hunger and sleep cues. You may recall a time when someone made your heart thud erratically in your chest, heat rise in your body making you blush, and the sensation of being tongue-tied or not able to form coherent thoughts. These are the characteristics of attraction.”
“Is that what you feel around her then? Because you don't act like yourself around her. I mean, come on, you are a germaphobe, and you were the first to shake her hand.”
He’s a germaphobe, he is, and that doesn’t just go away when you meet someone lovely, but he did shake her hand. She surprised him too quickly to think beyond taking her hand, letting it happen. Their formal meeting, the one where they acted as if they hadn't spent an evening together in this same room. Hotch gave him a funny look. Mostly impassive, but not quite, and he was definitely on to him. In the duration of the case, he tried to keep his distance, which didn't go that well when he found himself staring at the barrel of a gun that was aimed at him. Everything went by too quickly as she dove toward the UnSub, without a second thought tackling him to the ground and disarming him in a few short seconds. He wanted to be impressed, yet he had seen her in the training room with Morgan as they had hand-to-hand combat. She moved with agility, and her every move seemed calculated and strategic. He had felt his heart stutter in his chest as she helped him stand and checked him for injuries.
He was lovestruck as Penelope teased him. His silly crush on JJ had been entirely forgotten.
4. The Lila Archer incident
He was an idiot. It was the first time he would characterize himself in such a way. And hopefully the last.
When you guard a beautiful actress, Spencer, don't jump in the pool with her.
Love,
Spencer
He could identify the disappointment in his colleagues' faces from the very first second, yet the one that pierced him the most was hers. She barely spoke during the discussions about the possible type of the UnSub, no matter how much Elle or Hotch urged her on. She had been stuck with him for pretty much all of the cases and he had to admit that she was a brilliant young woman. The others interpreted her quietness as an inability to profile but her insights were what had helped him make some major breakthroughs on the last cases. When they congratulated him for that he simply smiled stating that he didn't work alone yet the others probably thought that he was just trying to cover his partner and not share mutual credit for their work. It unnerved him how she seemed incredibly distant and stoic always five paces away from the rest of the team.
Yet this time she seemed furious, it was the deathly kind of quiet, the one that sent a chill to his bones and left all the apologies that were spewing up in his brain die on his tongue.
Frustration was welling up on him and he tried to muster up the courage to talk to her, only to find her crying in Morgan's arms. He couldn't understand for the life of him what she was saying and a selfish, terrible part of him hoped that, maybe, she had been crying for him.
5. The drug addiction
Tobias Hankel was going to be a name that would haunt him for the rest of his life. Sometimes deep into the night he was still at that cabin fighting for his life, the one time his intelligence wasn't enough. What drew him to steal those few bottles of Dilaud from his pocket, why he used them, why he formed his addiction. He didn't want to be a drug addict but it was his new reality. He desperately tried to stop it, tried to hide it and always felt ashamed when he relapsed to that horrible habit. He would sit in his bathroom sweating, crying and begging a higher force, a higher being to end his torment, despite never being a religious man, only for his phone to ring demanding his presence because of a new case and for him to fall back to his old routine.
It was a tough journey and he wanted to talk with his friends about that, he needed their help, yet they ignored his problem as if it didn't exist, even though the signs were clear. He was always lashing out, having terrible mood swings and when they tried to confort him about it he lashed out. He had met an old friend of his and he had been the only one he had been brutally honest about his … condition. Gideon knew, his mentor knew, he had the confirmation, yet he turned a blind eye to the situation. Everyone did, except from her.
Everyday she would bring him his extra sweet coffee filled to the brim with stevia and not sugar, because sugar was just as addictive. When he craved, he played with his fingers, tried to distract himself but to no avail, a long strip of hard licorice sweets would appear in front of his face, after research be learned that the flavourful of licorice was extremely distinctive and strong and its hard texture led a person to chew endlessly at just one piece. It was the best food to consume to distract yourself. Every night after a case she would show up at his place with Greek takeout, which was apparently the best cousine, and demand longtime marathons of a show or series of movies, which wasn't something unusual for the two of them. She visited him because she knew that he would never use in her vicinity. He had never known true love until that moment and he recalled a quote by Jane Austin.
To be loved is to be known.
words: 3.007
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coryosbaby · 1 year ago
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—1-800-ʙᴀɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢᴏᴅꜰᴀᴛʜᴇʀ !
(Dark! Dbf! Anakin Skywalker x fem! Reader)
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𝓈𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: your parents leave you home alone to tend to the christian faith. It’s a good thing that your daddy’s friend is there to help you atone !
୨୧ Content warning . Dubious consent (reader is naive, but consents), blasphemy & strong religious themes, manipulation, baby trapping? age gap (reader is of in her 20s)// innocence kink, god complex, loss of virginity, size kink, oral, pnv, missionary + full nelson position
Disclaimer: I am not religious, though I do know there are people that are. pls block if it bothers you! This is solely fiction and not meant to offend anyone, and I don’t condone using religion as a way to manipulate or hurt others. Thanks! ⋆。˚ ⋆
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Your parents leaving you alone is honestly a scary experience.
Although it’s fun (having the house to yourself means having the large flat screen tv in the living room), you’ve come to find that at night you’re quite afraid of the dark. And of course, your family has left on an adult-only Christian retreat and has left you home alone.
Sure, you’re more than old enough. But you haven’t been exactly… exposed to the world around you. So the idea of monsters and demons filling the dark corners of your home, it becomes even more prominent.
You try to concentrate on your bible, try to read through the verses where God tells you to fear no evil, but the paranoia is creeping in on your cold spine like a winter’s chill. You try to listen to music, too, to drown out the whispers you hear in the night.
But to no avail.
You decide that you have no choice but to call the only contact that’s available to you.
Anakin is your godfather, in the sense that he’s your father’s best friend. He’s always been around, and he’s always helped you with your studies. Anakin— Ani, as you sometimes call him, lives less than a few blocks away. He always tells you that if you need him, he’ll be there. So it wouldn’t hurt to ring him up, right?
Pressing the dial on your phone, you type in his number with ease. Biting your thumb nail you wait for him to answer. He picks up on the third ring.
“Y/N? Is everything okay?”
You smile at his voice, the one that always gives you that tingly feeling in your stomach. You suspect that it’s because he’s your favorite person.
“Everything’s fine, Ani. Are you at work?”
“It’s a Saturday, isn’t it?”
“Well… yeah.”
“Then I’m off work, sweetheart,” he replies softly, and then you get that tingly feeling again. “Why did you decide to call?”
It’s not in the sense that he’s annoyed— he’s genuinely curious. You nervously rock back and forth on the balls of your feet.
“Well—“ you start, embarrassed. “Mom and dad are out, ‘n— it’s dark.”
“Dark?”
“It’s—“ you can feel tears beginning to form in your eyes as the wind creaks outside. “I don’t like it, Ani. I don’t wanna be alone in here... Please come.”
Anakin’s cock presses against his zipper at the sound of your whiny, desperate voice. He palms his bulge through his slacks.
“Yeah, baby. ‘Course I’ll come,” he pauses. “Just gotta do something first, okay? Then I’ll be there as soon as possible.”
You sniffle, the tears beginning to fall now.
“Okay. ‘M sorry.”
“For what? Don’t apologize to me sweetheart. Just wait there.”
A good forty minutes later Anakin is there, and when you open the door for him you latch onto him like a leech— your hands wrap around his waist, your bury your face into his fit chest, and you whimper against him as he coos gentle reassurances to you.
“It’s okay, baby. Ani’s here.”
“Promise?”
“I promise. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
He brings you over to the couch, sitting you on the cushion beside him as he looks down at your pink bible. He notes that you use the wooden cross necklace he had bought you for your nineteenth birthday as a bookmark.
“Been readin’?” He notes, looking down at the opened pages. You’ve been highlighting some verses, and next to this book there’s another: Christianity for Girls.
“Mhm.”
Anakin picks it up with idle hands. He flips to the first chapter.
“C’mere. Want me to read to you?”
“Yes, sir.” You reply, and with a gentle flick to your hair you begin to climb into his lap. It’s not uncommon for you to do this— he’s so comfy and warm. Even though sometimes the things in his pocket tend to poke against your bottom, you don’t mind. It’s worth it if Ani has his big arms wrapped around you.
He grunts as you settle down on him— his cock twitches as he feels your panties hit his lap. Your skirt is covered just enough to not expose you, but it still rides up as you sit down. His hand grips your thigh, and with the other he settles the book in his palm.
“Chapter 1,” he clears his throat. “Rules.”
Well, okay. If you say so.
“Girls should always follow their faith in God.”
Fair enough.
You nod along, as he reads the next.
“Girls should go to church every Sunday.” He smirks, turning to you. “Do you go to church every Sunday?”
“Of course! I love church.”
Anakin chuckles, flipping to the next page and adjusting himself from underneath you.
“Rule number three,” he says. His voice hesitates as he reads the next line, then he awkwardly clears his throat. “No premarital sex.”
Your brows furrow, bottom lip pulling between your teeth. “What’s that?”
He sucks in a breath, his cock beginning to become hard for a second time today.
“Sex? It’s—“
“No, no,” you giggle, your hand coming up to cover your mouth. “I meant— I know what sex is, Ani. Sort of. But.. what is premarital sex?”
“It’s sex before marriage. Doing it with someone you aren’t going to devote yourself to.”
“Oh.” You twiddle your fingers, eyes averting down to look at the ink splattered pages. “But— if you do it with someone you’re going to devote yourself to, without being married anyway, isn’t that still non premarital? I mean, in a way, you are married…sort of.”
Anakin shrugs, resting his head on your shoulder. You try to ignore how the closeness of his breath makes you tingle.
“Dunno, honey. I guess so. Never thought of it that way.”
You nod, wiggling around on his lap to get more comfortable. Anakin’s fingers grab your hips with a firm hand.
“Have you ever done it?” You ask. “Premarital sex, I mean.”
He lets out a breathy chuckle. Something in him is breaking apart, all these years of pent up sexual frustration for you beginning to come to a head as his resolve crumbles.
“Yes. Many times,” he coincides. “With a lot of people I didn’t care about. I shouldn’t of done that. It’s bad.”
Your face fills to the brim with heat, as the tension in the room grows incredibly thick. Your eyes widen when you feel him hump against your clothed cunt.
“What about you, baby?” He whispers against the shell of your ear. “Have you done it?”
You stutter, hesitating, and that’s when Anakin gets his answer.
“Right. ‘Course you haven’t,” and then, quietly, as if to himself, “Too precious for those boys…”
You let out a small sound in the back of your throat, that tingly feeling growing evermore prominent. You don’t know why you’re feeling this way. Maybe it’s the heat in the room, maybe it’s your claustrophobia.
Or maybe, you think, it’s the devil.
White hot heat coils in your private parts, and you try to get off of Anakin to get rid of feeling. He tsks, grabbing your hips and shoving you back into his lap. You whine, hands gripping is in an attempt to get away.
“Ani.. c’mon—“
“Do you touch yourself?” He asks darkly. You let out a little gasp. “Do you touch your princess parts, sweetheart?”
You shake your head, almost too quickly, and can’t help but press your thighs together. Anakin is having none of it.
“Liar,” he hisses. “You have. Don’t lie to me. I know when you’re lying to me.”
“I’m sorry!” You whimper against his harsh grip. “I-I stopped! I did, I really did, and I’ve been meaning to repent and atone for my sins but I haven’t yet…please, Ani.”
Tears of shame begin to fall from your eyes, wet and salty. You let out a little cry. Anakin softens a bit, his grip on you loosening. He wraps his arms around your tummy and quietly shushes you.
“It’s okay. It’s okay, angel, I know you didn’t mean to,” he coos, as your hands move around to rest in the locks of his hair. “Sensitive baby. I know it’s hard not to touch yourself down there. ‘S okay.”
“Promise?” You sniffle, turning your head to look into his eyes. He smiles.
“I promise.”
Your eyes innocently move down to his lips, that feeling growing inside even more.
“Ani..” you whisper. “It’s.. I want to.. to touch myself again. I don’t know how to control it…”
He strokes your hair out of your face with his fingers, cooing again.
“It’s okay,” and then, after a moment, with his cock pressed flush against your cunt, “I can help. Do you want me to?”
“But.. isn’t that premarital sex?”
He presses a kiss against your earlobe.
“You love me, don’t you? And I know I love you. So isn’t that marital sex?”
Your brain has turned into a puddle. Softly, you whisper out, “yes.”
He smiles against your skin, his hands sliding up past the expanse of your thighs.
“There’s something they don’t tell you about sex,” he murmurs. “When you let the man you love inside you, it’s a way to celebrate god. You become one with god.” He quirks a brow, watching you listen closely to him. “And you atone. Don’t you want to atone, baby?”
Your doe eyes look up at him, and you nod. He grins, knowing he’s got you exactly where he wants you. His thumb pulls the flesh of your bottom lip down and he watches it bounce back against your teeth.
“Why don’t you give me a kiss? Hm, pretty?”
And just like that, he’s got you. Your lips, ever so softly, come up to peck his. He smiles.
“Again.”
And you do kiss him again. Only this time, he presses hard into your mouth and it’s not long before his hands are tangling in your hair and he’s rubbing his tongue against your bottom lip. It’s all surreal, this man below you, his cock hard. You don’t know that, of course. Pulling away from him, you have a confused look on your face.
“What’s always in your pocket? ‘S poking me.”
Anakin doesn’t say anything. He just laughs at you, and leans in for more of your kisses. You get too lost in the feeing of his hands massaging your inner thighs to press him for an answer. But you find out soon enough when you feel him push your hand down into the front of his pants. Letting out a small squeak you feel the warm skin of his cock, and something tugs at your lower tummy again.
“Oh.” you say softly, understanding. It was never something in his pocket— it was him.
“Feel what you did to me?” Anakin huffs out, as he guides your hand up and down on his length. “That’s my cock, baby. It’s what happens when I get really excited to see you.”
A small smile grazes your features at the thought of Anakin liking your presence. A whole lot, it seems, because his body is physically reacting. He grunts when you squeeze his length out of curiosity.
“Does it hurt?” You murmur, watching him.
“Not at all,” he coincides, adjusting you on his lap. “Feels good.“
And okay, that’s even better. Now you’re making Anakin feel good. Pride floods your chest. Watching him, you feel his precum drip down your fist.
“Can I see it?”
Your voice surprises him, and he’s nodding so quickly that it seems like he might break his neck.
“‘Course, pretty girl, can watch it all day if you want to…” looking at you hungrily, he mutters in a soft tone, “C’mere, get on your knees.”
Confusion muddles your brain, but not as much as the ache to please him. You crawl off of his lap, and he takes one of the couch pillows and places it on the floor.
“Sit.” He commands, and you rest your knees on the pillow and your small hands on his big thighs.
He unbuttons his fly, then his zipper. His bulge is straining against his briefs, a wet patch on the front from his arousal. Gulping, you watch as he pulls his pants and underwear all the way down and slips them off.
His length springs free, dripping with pre and insanely long. Your eyes widen as you watch it, wondering: where does it go?
Okay. So, you have a vague idea of where it’s supposed to go— somewhere in you, but you don’t know where. But either way, you know for for a fact that wherever that is isn’t adjustable enough for such a big thing. Your face floods with embarrassment.
“Where do I…” you start, quiet. Anakin furrows a brow, grabbing his cock into his palm.
“Where do you what?”
You avoid his gaze.
“Where do I.. put it?”
A smile quirks on the man’s lips, stroking himself to the sight of your pretty face peering at his cock.
“Your mouth, sometimes. But especially where you touch yourself, angel. Your cunt.” He tilts his head, not shaming you but trying to explain. “Do you know what your cunt is?”
You shyly nod, knowing that that’s what some of the boys around town called that spot where you touch yourself. And now, feeling this odd tingle inside you, it all makes perfect sense. It wants Ani inside.
But you frown at him.
“It won’t fit,” you say sadly. “‘S too big”
“It’ll fit, honey. Just have to stretch you first.”
Stretch you? That sounds painful! Fear courses through you.
“Stretch me?” You say worriedly.
Anakin seems amused by your reaction.
“It’ll only hurt a little, then it’ll feel really good,” he explains. “I promise. Don’t you trust me?”
Your head moves up and down, and you know that it’s true. He smiles softly, and then he’s tapping your lip with his finger.
“Open,” he says.
Your parted mouth falls completely open, pink tongue lolling out as he places the tip of his cock on it. It takes you by surprise, and your lashes flutter as his taste evades your senses. It’s an odd flavor— not too bad, but not too good either. Though, the thought of it being from Ani makes it all worth while. He slaps himself against your tongue a few times, the wet muscle making a plopping sound as his stringy precum creates a small puddle in your mouth. He watches, proud, and he praises you in the most gentle tone he can muster.
“Good girl. Such a pretty mouth, can’t wait to cum inside it…”
And that makes your eyes shut tight as you let out a loud whine, knowing that his cum is another delicious fluid that you will happily drink up soon. His cock guides itself even more into your mouth, the cockhead disappearing in between your plush lips. You use your mouth gently, treating his cock with care, not wanting to hurt him. He grunts when you swirl your tongue around him.
“Mmm,” he breathes. “Lick it, baby. Like an ice cream cone… yeahhh. Just like that, sweet girl.”
You hollow your cheeks around his mushroomed head, your brain becoming fuzzy at the feeling of his length moving in and out of your mouth. Suckling him, he’s soft and warm on your tongue.
You do this for quite some time. Anakin’s thrusts speed up, and he makes you take more and more and more. When you choke on him for the first time he tells you that it’s okay— “just get through it, baby, don’t you wanna be good for me?” And of course you do, because it’s Ani, and he’s really handsome and he smells really nice and his hands are so big as they card themselves through your hair. You can’t get enough and you’re almost angry he hadn’t shown you this sooner. Your vision is dizzy as he uses your mouth.
On a particularly harsh thrust that makes your throat spasm around him, Anakin begins to make some very pretty noises. Drool leaks down your chin and chest, your mascara running, his balls slapping against your chin. He groans loudly.
“Gonna cum,” he mutters out. “Gonna fill up your throat. Do you want that, sweet girl?”
You can’t say anything, but you try your hardest to nod around his cock. He gets the message. And with stuttering hips, salty fluid shoots into the wet canal of your mouth. It fills you up until you’re choking, and as Anakin rides out his high his cock practically coats itself in cum as he moves in and out, in and out. He pulls you off of him after a moment, and with a mouth full of spend you gasp out for air. Anakin’s got this possessive stare in his eyes as he looks at you.
“Swallow it.”
You do. You gulp it down excitedly, and with a small “aaaaa” you stick out your tongue so he can see that you’ve consumed it all. Anakin looks down at you with a grin on his face.
“That’s my girl.”
“I want you to… to put it in me.”
Your voice speaks softly in the darkness of your room, rain pattering against your window as Anakin sits on your bed across from you. It’s been a week since your last… encounter. Your parents are out once again— and as requested, Anakin had shown up on your doorstep to keep you company. After a mug of hot chocolate, your favorite, you had invited the man into your room. A cross is around his neck, shiny with a silver chain. His hair is messy, his fingers clad in silver metal rings. You want to bite them.
Anakin smiles, pretty teeth shining.
“Do you know the story of the Virgin Mary?” He asks, out of context. Your eyes light up. Mary is your favorite biblical figure.
“Yes!” You reply to him. “She got pregnant by God.”
“And how did she do that?”
“By magic!” You say. “She gave birth to Jesus.”
Anakin chuckles, kissing your forehead softly.
“Such a smart girl. But sweetheart, magic didn’t give her a baby.” At the sight of your confused face, he continues. “Sex did. That’s how all babies are made.”
Heat creeps up your neck, your face puzzled. “So you’ll give me a baby?”
Anakin should be frightened at the thought of getting his best friend’s daughter pregnant, but he isn’t. In fact, he smiles, his touch leaving tingles against your skin.
“If that’s what you want. Just imagine, angel..” his lips brush against your ear, smoothing back a strand of your hair. “A beautiful baby. My nose, my lips.. those pretty eyes of yours.”
You bite your lip, your heart fluttering. Having Anakin’s baby would be your dream! Having a house with him, children running around, Anakin coming home from work everyday…
Oh, but daddy would be so mad.
He would never look at you the same again. He would be ashamed, he would damn you to the deepest pit of hell.
You think these things so incredibly, but once Anakin’s lips press against yours all of those things go away. He kisses you slow, sweet, gentle. His stomach presses against your tummy.
“I can’t wait to see it. Your little belly, all swollen with my baby..”
And daddy is out of your thoughts and replaced with a new, different daddy: Anakin.
It’s not long before he’s got you laid down on your ruffled pink sheets, your baby blue nightgown gone (“cmon, let me see that pretty body”), with Anakin’s lips trailing down your neck. He’s gotten you prepped, used his fingers and tongue in oh so many ways that had made you quiver, used your throbbing cunt for his own meal. When you spread your legs for him this time, it’s so he can rub his incredibly hard length against the lips of your pussy. Delectable and sweet as he remembers, Anakin watches the way your leftover cum and slick coat his length generously.
He’s never seen a cunt so cute, so fat, so swollen and precious. He taps his cockhead against your clit, listens to the desperate little pleas you let out as you look up at him with doe eyes.
“Please, Ani, want your baby.”
“Please, daddy, put it inside me. My cunt’s so tight and wet for you..”
You don’t say that last part, Anakin’s imagination runs wild, but he knows you’re probably thinking that— thinking that as his mushroomed tip pops inside your entrance, stretching, burning. Thinking that as you cry, your salty tears his most delectable meal besides the thing in between your legs. Thinking that as you grimace, give him that pained look as he fully sheathes himself inside.
And then, he begins to move.
It’s like a fire in your gut, at first. Hot, burning, grating. But soon it gives way to something else— something not even his fingers can create, something that’s absolutely out of this world. Your nails dig into his back, leaving red welts along the skin, and you should apologize but you can’t bring yourself to care. Ani’s whispering something in your ear, something dirty, filthy, and deprived; you enjoy it so much, you really do, as he speaks to you like this.
“Good girl, so tight. Daddy’s so happy when he fucks his little princess.”
“Look at that, how red and swollen your little pussy is. Is my cock too big for it?”
After harsh thrusts, skin slapping against skin, and curled toes, Anakin pulls out of you. You almost sob from the loss, but it isn’t long before he lays you on top of him and slips himself back into your sopping hole, pulling your ankles behind your head. This causes your eyes to flutter open again, a small moan leaving you. Anakin brings his hands around to hold your legs and head in a chokehold. He fucks you like that, all twisted and overstimulated.
Looking down, you watch as his length fills you to the brim and moves in and out of you.
“A-Am —“ you sniffle, a pleasured sob racking through your throat. “Am I being good, Ani? Is… Is god inside me now?”
Anakin groans, his hips pressing even harder against your raw fucked pussy.
“Yeah, baby,” He breathes, his hand pressing against the bulge poking out of your lower tummy. “God’s in you. Right in this little tummy.“
You mewl, understanding his words, the blasphemy in them. A blush coats your cheeks as you murmur out, “don’t say that.. ‘s bad. You’re being bad.”
“But I’m making you feel so good. Aren’t I, baby?” He taunts, with a hint of malice in his voice. “Isn’t this what you wanted? A thick, hard cock to fill up this little pussy?”
You shake your head, trying to deny yourself this pleasure you can’t contain. Anakin chuckles.
“Yes, it is. I can tell when you’re lying, little girl... oh, look at you. Little legs are shaking. Poor baby…”
You should feel guilty for all the dirty things leaving his sinful mouth. You should hate him and find him icky and push him away. Hes a dirty, filthy man.
But… he’s your Ani. The man who protects you, hugs you when you’re sad, buys you your favorite lip gloss and stuffed animals. And that cross is dangling in pressing against your back, cold and heavy like a burden but still turning you on and— he smells so good, and although you keep trying to move away from his harsh fucking, you know in your mind that you don’t want him to stop. Little sounds escape your throat with each thrust, moans and whines that sound like a wounded animal. But you are far from wounded— unless you count the soreness you’re probably going to feel tomorrow from Anakin pounding your guts.
Grunting, his arms flex on each side of you as he grasps your body with firm hands.
The man’s cock moves against your walls harshly, slick penetrating the skin of your thighs and making you shake. A smirk glazes his lips as he watches your face contorted in pleasure, and your neck is craned so you can see every facial expression he makes.
You thought you had never seen God. But right now, you might not be so sure.
“Good little angel,” he groans gently. “Such a tight little fuck hole for daddy.”
You want to be disgusted by the name, wanted to be disgusted since the first time he said it, but before you can think too hard the tip of his mushroomed head slams against a certain spot that has you sobbing out, “daddy, daddy!” against your own accord. He moans himself at the sound of your pleasure.
“Good fucking girl. Hittin’ that princess spot so good, yeah? Pussy feelin’ good?”
Your eyes roll back, your body going limp like a rag doll as you relax against his jackhammering thrusts. It all feels too good. The Bible always talks about heaven and you think that this is truly it: Anakin below you, holding you down, humping into you like an animal, as he spews disgusting phrases into your ears.
Maybe he isn’t the devil. Maybe he’s God.
You can feel something building up in your tummy, the familiar butterflies now turning dark like moth wings, scraping against that one spot over and over and over. God grins from below you, and bringing his hand up he forces your mouth open with his big fingers. His spit lands down on your tongue, wet and warm and perfect.
“Swallow.” He commands, and you do it greedily. Your voice moans for more, aches for more, and he does it thrice.
“Do you trust me?” He growls. “Do you trust me, baby?”
“Yes! Yes sir.” You whimper, and you know it’s true when it falls from your lips. He forces his fingers to press even harsher around your head. Your ears ring, a pressure beginning to form in your skull.
“God’s got you,” Anakin growls. “God’s got you and your life in his hands. And you know what?”
You don’t say anything, just shake your head as you try to catch a breath of air.
“He’s not gonna let it go.” He continues. “You’re gonna feel this, honey. You’re gonna get fucked like this all the time—“ your vision is blurring, his words making you spasm. He brings his fingers down to that swollen button on your soaked pussy and rubs in harsh circles. “— When daddy thinks his precious little girl is asleep, when he thinks she’s praying to god, she’s going to be praying to me. Choking on my dick, getting fuckin’ bred. Do you want that? Do you want my cum, you fucking slut?”
You can’t really hear him anymore; your body has gone completely limp, your eyes fluttering shut as you ride out wave upon wave of pleasure. You’re still breathing, you know you are, but you fall unconscious in Anakin’s harsh grasp.
And when he sees you like that, all fucked out and deadweight, he groans and begins to pound you harder.
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hurlingdown · 6 months ago
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BURN, BABY, BURN — TOP MALE READER X TRAFALGAR LAW
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synopsis. when omega! law gets thrown into burning heat after smelling one of your shirts, it's only sensible that the origin of his misfortune compensates for it. in this case, you, an alpha, have no choice but to pleasure him throughout his heat until he's well-pupped and satisfied.
tags. omega! law, alpha! reader. breeding (pups), knotting, mating press, stomach bulge, law has a pretty pussy, vaginal sex, biting, scenting
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Law was burning up. 
He hadn’t meant to take a deep inhale of your scent lingering on the oversized hoodie you left at his room—it had been so darn tempting, you couldn’t blame him. But now there he was, lying on the bed and wearing it, pressing the collar to his nose to smell as his insides burned, ached with a searing need. 
He was conscious enough to understand what was going on, but his heat wasn’t due until next week and he had taken blockers, so something wasn’t adding up. Nothing could explain the way he woke up sweaty, cunt oozing with slick and skin itching for a certain touch, feeling safe because it was your scent that wrapped around him. 
“Fuck,” he moaned, eyes squeezing shut as the tip of his finger snaked into his boxers to tease his clit. He hadn’t even realised when he had taken off his pants, but the thick material of the hoodie was already suffocating him with a pleasant warmth, and only god knows if he’d die of a heat stroke right then if there was one more extra layer of clothing sticking to him. 
Law wanted. He wanted a nest of things that smelled good, one where his alpha could make fervent love to him in a blissful flurry of endorphins and pheromones, of cock and knot and more, more, more—
It felt so empty. Not enough. 
He blinked his eyes open to find his neatly arranged pillows and smoothed out bedsheets way too clean and bare, devoid of sin. The mouth-watering scent from the hoodie had slightly faded now that his scent had mingled with yours, and he found himself spreading his legs to a ghost of a figure. 
Law wanted to cry. 
He was so painfully wet, soaked enough to keep going for days on end, give his alpha pups, let you breed him and be so good for you—but he knew that was just wishful thinking. You would never want him. To you, he was just another friend. And there Law was, playing with himself to dirty, unholy thoughts of you claiming him, one good, strong bite on the neck would do, bloody canines sinking down into his swollen scent glands, marking him as yours—
His chest gave a lurch, and he shamefully pulled out his hand from his boxers, letting out a shiver as the skin-tight cloth slapped onto his oversensitive crotch. 
His alpha wasn’t interested. Law wasn’t good enough. No tits for suckling, a toned build that people often mistook for an alpha’s, a body not meant for mating. His alpha wasn’t interested, wasn’t there for him at his most vulnerable, and Law understood why. 
In a trance-like state, he half-dragged himself to his feet and shoved everything that smelled like you onto the bed—things that you had touched during your stay: books that your hands had once opened—the pages now lingering with scent, clothes that you had helped him fold—now they smelled faintly of you. There was the one lamp that sat at the corner of his desk—you had switched it on earlier, and he found himself pressing his nose to its knob, trying to catch a whiff of your scent. Almost anything would do.
He roughly piled them all onto the mattress to form a ring where he could sleep in the middle, desperate to fill the void in his wanting heart. 
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Law woke up to a thick, comforting waft of pheromones that immediately flooded his senses. 
The fever that had been brewing inside him for the past few hours hadn’t simmered at all, and he rubbed his thighs together to feel slick running down them, viscous and sticky. There was a damp sensation on his cheeks, probably from crying himself to sleep, earlier. He didn’t feel good, he felt miserable, but the ache had now dulled. 
“Law?” 
His eyes snapped to the door. There was someone out there. Law couldn’t tell if they were an alpha or not, but no one, not even his crew, should be approaching him right now. Not when he was in this state. He had a reputation to maintain, he was a feared captain of the seas, one that sent men trembling to their knees, not a whiny, pathetic mess of a horny omega—
“It’s me. I—came back to get my hoodie. I think I left it here. Fuck, I can smell you from here. Are you okay?” 
Oh. 
His omega crooned softly as his thoughts cleared enough to register that yes, this was your voice, you were there for him, he was going to be okay. That was enough to ease the hurt in his chest and prompt an ungodly amount of slick leaking from his cunt, but whenever he opened his mouth to say something, all that came out were soft purrs that beckoned you closer, closer, inside. 
You persisted when he stayed quiet. “Are you in heat? Do you need anything? Should I… get someone to help you?” 
Law growled low in his throat at the absurdity of the suggestion—getting someone to help him when his alpha was right there. You had to be fucking insane to suggest that. 
“Come in,” he demanded, or more like tried to, because he had whined at the same time and it sounded more like a sultry moan. 
“W-what? I can’t. If you’re in heat, that would make it worse—” 
Law didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or cry. You were the only person out there who could ever soothe the agony his body was going through right now, and there you were, saying that you would make it worse by being near him. 
“Y/n-ya, please. I need you.” 
And then he did the next most despicable thing he wouldn’t ever do if he wasn’t in heat, wasn’t aching for his alpha’s touch. He craned his neck, purposefully letting out an obscene amount of pheromones, waiting for it to pervade his room before it seeped out from under the door. Making sure you could smell how much he needed you. 
“Law, are—are you sure about this?” Your voice was strained from holding back, and you wanted to take him already, mark his pretty neck up with purple teeth marks until he was sobbing with how good he was feeling, how full he felt. 
“Yes—hurry.” 
The creak of the door opening barely dawned on Law before it was slammed shut again, his alpha’s hands on the back of his legs, spreading them wide, feeling warm and smelling good. 
“Alpha,” he panted. “Alpha.” 
“You’re so fucking wet. Shit, are you wearing my hoodie? Is that mine?” 
Law nodded, not that he had a use for it anymore—you were right there, scent heavy and pressed up against him so close that he could almost feel the outline of your cock against his cunt. He wanted it inside, and it wasn’t happening fast enough. 
“Take everything off,” he murmured. “Inside, now, hurry, alpha—”  
You shrugged off your shirt and jeans before pulling your hoodie and Law’s boxers off—they were completely drenched, and you were certain that you could squeeze slick out if you twisted it. 
A needy whine cut your thoughts short. “Hurry!” 
“Wait—fuck, I need a condom, do you have any—?” 
Before you could finish, Law had reached up to wrap his arms around your neck, dragging you down for a wet, messy kiss. To your bewilderment, he had started nudging his lower half towards you, rutting his unclad cunt on your cock while he shuddered and whimpered into the kiss. 
“Want pups,” he pleaded, eyes glassy. “Can’t give you pups that way.” 
Carnal desire ripped through you at the thought of impregnating him, marking him as yours in a way even a mating bite couldn’t—ruining him for anyone else, because by the time you were done with him, he would be bearing the seed of your sin. You let out a snarl, fingers digging into his thighs to put him in a mating press, thrusting forward once, twice to get your cock sliding against his folds. 
Law gave a little wail, his cunt tightening as his hips bucked up, trying to get you inside him. “Y/n-ya—fuck me, please, want it, need it so bad—” 
You nudged the fat, blunt head of your cock into his hole, feeling the rest slide in easily with all the slick he was producing. His burning walls pulsed around you as he keened, relishing in the feeling of finally, finally, instinctively trying to get you to knot him already. 
The first slap against his hips was loud and filthy, but then you started to pick up the pace as you felt him loosen up, get even more wetter, trying to be good and easy for you. 
“Law—” you moaned, ���you’re so good. I’m gonna give you what you want, ‘kay? Gonna make you round with my children.” 
He answered you with a choked-up cry, nails raking down your shoulders as he desperately nodded yes, as though saying please, alpha, breed me, make me yours. 
You fucked into his sopping cunt over and over, pinching his clit to feel him clench around you harder, making him scream your name. At some point you had leaned down to kiss him, swallowing his pretty moans, and he had crushed his legs around your waist so suddenly, making you jolt forward. 
And then he was cumming hard on your cock, locking up tight and trying to keep you inside, whining and sobbing as you fucked him through his orgasm. You felt your knot start to build as the friction inside grew with each thrust, mindlessly muttering about how perfect he was and felt, almost high on the good kind of hormones that made your cock leak heavy with pre-cum, easing the ride. 
“So, so fuckin’ pretty, and good, wanna bite you so hard—” 
“Do it,” Law sobbed out, “‘m all yours, alpha.”
You settled for biting his shoulder instead of his neck, making him whimper loud, cunt locking up around you again to cum for a second time. A gush of liquid pushed out around your knot as you drove forward to the brim, and you felt it get heavier and heavier, making you gasp and heave with pleasure so intense it was going to send you into overdrive. With one more heavy thrust, you groaned out as you came, tainting his hole with the impiety of your seed. 
Your knot swelled inside him until it bulged out from the surface right below his heart tattoo. Law gaped in awe while you tried to get a grip on yourself. 
“It’s your—?” he asked uncertainly, eyes wide with disbelief. 
“—fuck, should be, yeah.” 
He raised a finger to press into the small bump, shuddering when your knot dug into his insides deeper. 
“It’s,” he muttered, frowning adorably as he looked for a word to describe it. “Rather cute.” 
“Is it? You like it?” 
Law continued to remain fixated on the bulge. “... No, not really.” 
You chuckled at his blatant lie, leaning down to kiss him—sweaty and exhausted now, chest slightly heaving with breath, but feeling full and pupped. 
“You—didn’t mark me,” Law muttered, all of a sudden. 
“Wanted to save it for later,” you assured him. “Hope that’s okay.” 
His eyebrows furrowed, but then you started distracting him by planting kisses on his neck, at the same time letting out your scent until you couldn’t differentiate between his and yours. He purred at this, going lax in your arms, exposing more of his neck to let you do whatever you wanted. 
“Think I might be able to go again,” you murmured against his skin, “in a few minutes.” 
“Good. I’m not done with you yet, y/n-ya.” 
Your knot felt sore already, and your muscles ached—but with Law underneath you, soft-eyed and pliant and so unlike his usual self, all you wanted to do was to keep him happy and satisfied. Even if it took draining you dry for a week to achieve that. For now, he was all yours, and you would do almost anything to make it stay that way.  masterlist! p.s. based on this drabble. good lord. y'all asked for this - i hope i delivered. uhhh this is totally not favouritism by the way
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priniya · 8 months ago
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˗ˏ` EMOTIONS! 🍵 ´ˎ˗
pairing. theodore nott x reader
summary. theo never handled his emotions right, and when his girlfriend shows up in a wrong moment, things escalate and theodore doesn’t know how to fix it.
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THEO HAS BEEN A TICKING BOMB LATELY and you knew that. it’s been bothering you, but every time you tried talking some senses into him, he brushed it all off, saying something too stupid and reckless for you to hear, so the topic was dropped sooner than it was brought up.
it was one of those times again, when a recurring thought was planted into your brain that you didn’t know your boyfriend like you thought you would. theodore hasn’t been himself lately, which made you worry tons. he’s been smoking much more and getting into fights more often as well as getting into trouble with the teachers, losing the points for your house, which… well, you didn’t care that much about it. what you cared for was theo’s wellbeing.
since it’s been a christmas break, you had gone home to spend time with your family, which meant your contant with theo was limited to a few letters that he was doing somewhat fine, yet you’ve been smart enough to know that spending christmas with his father and grandfather could never make him feel fine, not even a little bit. it was the breaking point in you that you’ve decided it’s the end of brushing you off.
“riddle, berkshire – out.” you barged into the dorm, glaring at your boyfriend’s dormmates, causing the first one to groan in annoyance.
“jesus, can’t be in your own room anymore.” mattheo rolled his eyes at you, yet he knew it was coming, so he dragged his ass up, patting theo’s back. “good luck with that one, nott.” he muttered before leaving the room with lorenzo, who just sent you a sympathetic smile.
theo, on the other hand, just glanced at you for a second, knitting his eyebrows together. “what do you want, l/n?” he asked, his nose still burried in between pages of a book you gave him for christmas.
“oh, last name basis, al–fucking–right.” you grumbled, grabbing the book away from his hands, your body trembling with fury. you hadn’t had a proper conversation in over two weeks, yet he couldn’t bring himself to be a decent man towards you. “what’s going on with you, nott?”
“get off my dick, y/n, really.” he rolled his eyes, expression matching the one his roommate had a few moments earlier. “i don’t have fucking time for this shit.” theo added, clearly agitated.
“well, you want it — you have it, i’m not getting on your dick anytime soon.” your voice was thick with emotion as the mention of celibacy earning you a look. “i know something’s going on. i know that, because i’m your girlfriend and i care about you. just trust–” you started, but the sentence wasn’t meant to be finished, because nott cut you off.
“then don’t. merlin, i don’t need a fucking babysitter, hoovering over my ass all the time. you’re not my bloody therapist, l/n. i don’t fucking need you to stick your nose into my business 24/7.” theodore stood up, his nose almost brushing yours before you took a step back, startled at the sudden outburst. “and sex? don’t amuse me, for merlin’s sake. i could leave the dorm right now and find someone to bone if i wanted to.” his tone was harsh, while his words were like knives thrown at you as a reward for being a caring girlfriend.
your boyfriend looked at his knuckles, his gaze focusing on the ring as he begun to take it off, making your pupils widen. “go. give it to someone who’s gonna be crazy enough to put up with your obsession about emotions. i’m not doing that anymore.” he muttered, pushing the ring into your palm.
“fine.” was the only thing that came to your mind after his words. your body continued to tremble and at this point, you couldn’t have been sure if it was your annoyance or broken heart that he just broke up with you. “just keep your promise and stay away from me. maybe join the death eaters too, for all i care, you’ll fit in perfectly.” with that, you left his dorm, slamming the door behind you as you fought with tears flowing down your cheeks.
“troubles in paradise?” mattheo grinned at you playfully, not noticing your tears-stained face as you were storming through the common room to the exit of the room.
“go fuck yourself, riddle.”
it wasn’t even five minutes later, when mattheo entered his shared dorm, his expression utterly confused as his mind was doing its best to connect the dots. “what’s with that gal of yours?” he asked theo, plopping down onto his bed, lightning up a cigarette right after.
“she’s not my gal anymore.” nott mumbled in response, almost untouched by the entire thing that just happened and that took his best friend by surprise.
“what do you mean she’s not your gal anymore?” he asked, his frown deepening. “lad, don’t tell me she broke up with you, you love this girl to death.” riddle added, scanning his friend’s face for any sign of uneasiness or a clue to understand all of it.
“i broke up with her.” theo replied with a shrug.
“merlin, man, why?” mattheo asked another question, this time being left without an answer as nott shut the curtains of his bed, putting on a silence spell.
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IGNORING THEODORE ALL WEEK HAS BEEN EASY as you weren’t in the same year as him. you’ve been grovelling inside about the break-up, but from what your mother had always told you, when you were younger, you remembered that all the teenage boys were shitty and you couldn’t — by any means — let him know how much hurt you were. ignoring him was easy, all because, in your eyes, he didn’t even take any effort to show you remorse for what happened, from what you’ve known, he didn’t even look at you once.
the worst part of loving theodore nott was not being able to brush off all the concerns and worries that lived rent free in your mind, whenever you’ve noticed him walking through the hallways. nevertheless, he didn’t want you to care about him at all, so that was what you were planning on doing. kept your head high and your feet steady on the ground.
what you didn’t know, was that it wasn’t pride that made him keep his eyes away from you, but guilt. from the moment he woke up the day following your argument, his organism was flooded with guilt and shame to the point, where he couldn’t look at himself in the mirror.
he fucked everything up just like his father always told him that he would. he broke the promise he’d made to himself that he wouldn’t drive you away, wouldn’t hurt you like his father hurt his mom, yet he did. you were the only person in his world that made him feel like a normal human being, one, who could love and be loved, but he had to ruin it all, because his pride wouldn’t let him to open up to you.
it’s been already a week since the biggest mistake of his life, as he called it, and theo’s entire body hurt. he was popping pills with blaise like candies, because sobriety and consciousness made everything worse. he couldn’t stop thinking about you — about your expression, when he broke things off with you, the hurt in your eyes and the way you were holding yourself after that.
people, not close enough to you, might’ve been fooled by the facade you’ve built around you, though not theo. he’d known you for years prior to your relationship, he’d seen you both happy and miserable and now? now, you were beyond miserable. you might’ve kept your head high with the biggest smile on your face, but he’s known. he always would — whether you wanted him to or not.
quidditch practices were the worst, all because you were always there, yet never watching him. it wasn’t even up to you to be there and theo was certain of it. you were there, so your best friend wouldn’t have to sit through an entire practice alone, while she watched lorenzo with starstruck expression all the fucking time.
“lad, you have to apologise to her, sort it out.” enzo sighed, putting a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “aoife’s worried about her. ‘m not really surprised, though, she started smoking weed on daily-basis again. aoif’s saying she can’t remember, when she saw her sober for the last time, but it’s better than bawling her eyes out over some asshole, aoif’s words, not mine.” having a friend, who was also somehow close to you and your best friend was a blessing in disguise. lorenzo kept him updated, not leaving out all the insults aoife lynch threw at him for breaking her best friend’s heart.
a loud sigh left theo’s lips as he leaned over the table, his forehead falling onto the wooden surface as he let out a groan. “i don’t even know what to do, enzo.”
“my suggestion? get your shit together.” mattheo chimed in, a playful grin on his face. “i mean it, theo. the gal of yours keeps showing up to my spot and i can’t deal with her tears anymore. get your shit together and fix it.”
“the problem is, matt, i don’t know how.”
the opportunity, although being totally… stupid, occurred at the end of another week during a game with hufflepuffs. theo’s entered another stage of grief and has been going around the school angry at everything. so, when the game came, he was playing rougher than usually, because he needed an outlet to the built-up anger.
of course, you’ve noticed. how couldn’t you? you’ve been keeping an eye on him for the entire two weeks. despite your promise to aoife, you couldn’t let it go. no matter who he was, your boyfriend, a friend, a stranger or an enemy, you couldn’t stop worrying about him and doing your best to look out for him. so… when he was forcefully pushed off his broom by diggory, you were running down the stairs before he even hit the ground. you needed to be beside him or it would kill you.
he was unconcious for almost two more days, making it a sixteen days without hearing his voice and you were going crazy, spending every single second, occupying the tabletop placed next to his bed. his hands in between yours as you kept it close to you. did he deeply pained you with his words? yes. would you let him be alone in the hospital wing? of course not.
“y/n/n.” he whispered suddenly, his voice breaking. “i’m so sorry.” nott let out and you weren’t sure if it was some kind of sleep talking or your delusions leading you on. “i’m so sorry, baby.” he repeated his words with a term of endearment, squeezing your hand weakly.
“theodore…” your words hitched in your throat as you moved the hair aside from his forehead. “don’t think about it now.” you whispered in a coy manner. “it doesn’t matter.”
“i can’t.” he coughed out. “i can’t stop thinking about it. about you. i’ve acted like a dick, but i didn’t mean it. you’re my world, baby, i’m so, so sorry. you were right all this time, i build up my emotions inside of me and let it get the best of me in the worst moment. i’m so sorry i hurt you, i swear i hate myself for—” he continued his rambling, slowly opening his eyes to have a look at you.
“hey, teddy, please, don’t think about it now.” you pleaded, still holding his hand. your thumb caressing his palm. “just rest, okay? please. we’ll talk about once you’re well-rested and out of here.” your voice was gentle.
he shifted in his hospital bed, hissing as his ribcage hurt immensely. “no, cara, please.” he muttered, bringing his lips to your palm. “listen, i can’t get over what i told you. i’m so fucking sorry, baby.” he whispered.
“teddy…” you started, but he cut you off.
“no. i’m sorry i said all those things to you, you didn’t deserve all the shit i gave you.” he let out a sigh, rubbing his forehead. “you need to hit me. for all the pain and suffering. oh god, and the tears. you should just kill me at this point.” theo muttered, and honestly? he did deserve the beating for what he’s done, but the three days of unconsciousness due being knocked off the broom, you could let it go. it could be his fate share of beating.
“just shut up, will you?” you sighed, planting a tender kiss on his lips. “we’re fine.”
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