#it's just very important to know your limitations as well so you don't exclude anything

[breitzbachbea]

I again have so much admiration for historians who specialized and are experts in their field, because I know I will never be able to narrow anything down that much but dabble in all history. Which will result in not being an expert on anything, but it's still great to be a historian and knowing where to go to ask those who're deeply knowledgeable about it.

[kinkteez]

Yeosangie:

Who's your favorite dom? And why are they your favorite (do they take good care of you, make you feel special)?

Also, do you prefer being obedient and subservient, or do you have a bit of a bratty side?

Yeosang: [He perks up and dons a bright smile when he hears his pet name, but his expression quickly turns contemplative] ...You're asking me to pick my favourite out of all the doms. I-- Thank you for the question. This is so difficult. [He leans back with an exhale, looking thoughful in a sort of exasperated way.] They all take very good care of me, is the thing!

I guess I can exclude Hongjoong-hyung on a technicality, because we were initially not super compatible. He's very straight-forward and has a tendency to be impatient, and I... Hmm. It's difficult for me to handle that. I had to learn to communicate my thoughts, both in and out of scenes. It took a while to learn how important that was, and during that time, he and I never scened alone together. It would have gone poorly. Hongjoong tended to take things at face value, and if there was something I didn't say... Well, then how could he take it into consideration? So I got better at telling him my limits and what I wanted and needed. And he got better at not assuming I would volunteer everything I was thinking without being prompted to.

...But I'm just stalling. Of course I love everyone a lot, but if I have to choose, I'm going to say Jongho. He just... [Sighs almost dreamily] He's incredible. Every time I'm unsure of what I need, he will take the reins and make sure I don't have to make any decisions. Not in any sort of dominant or aggressive way; he's very gentle. He just makes sure we have eye contact and explains me what he's going to do. And it always always works out perfectly. He does everything with so much love. Behind every action. I can tell he loves scening with me. Just... He's enjoying it as much as I am, and it makes it easy to relax. Because sometimes, I can get self conscious and worry that my partners are only doing things for my sake. Never with Jongho. The look in his eyes is so... Warm. There's so much love radiating from him, it feels like I might drown in it. And he shows it in a way that's somehow both very thorough and very gentle.

So all in all, the uhh, process itself is just perfect, and afterwards I feel so light and floaty and soft. And beautiful. And like I did good, even if I barely did anything. Ah, that's another thing he's very good at - praise. It's... Important to me. I like to know I'm being good, and he's very good at reminding me. Any opportunity he gets.

You asked about bratting or being subservient too. Me... I'm definitely not a brat. Even just thinking about being anything like Wooyoung, makes me physically cringe. It's fine when he does it - it suits him, and he is naturally like that. And I'm naturally not like that.

...Although, looking at what he and Hongjoong are sometimes like, there's part of me that can't help but feel a little bit, I guess kind of curious. I don't want to do those things to the same degree or even anywhere close, but something that's just a little, tiny bit more in that direction. It seems like they have a lot of fun. Just... I don't know exactly what I want, when it comes to this? So I don't know how to ask for it. Suggetions are welcome.

I love your icon!

~ Yeosang

A/N: This is a new poly-ATEEZ kink ask blog! Feel free to ask any of the eight members a question! :) Reblogs are very appreciated!

[orxna]

approval + Varric paying for any music school that she would like to attend.

Approval Meme || Accepting || @extravagantliar

It's Bodahn who brings the school to her attention in the first place, when he asks Orana where she learned and she shyly explains she taught herself. He crows in delight and awe, exclaiming how some folks over in orlais pay heaps of gold to learn to play half as well as she taught herself to be. At the time it only makes Orana blush, demure that she isn't that skilled. She can play prettily and she can read music but surely that isn't anything impressive--At the time she can't even read trade tongue.

But then time passes, and Orana thinks about it, a school just for people who want to play music. It seems frivolous at first, because surely schools are for more important things like magic or some sort of other arcane study. That's what such things are for in tevinter, at least the ones she heard while serving Danarius. The more she thinks the more she is so very curious.

It isn't Hawke whom she asks, she doesn't think the woman would know much about it, though maybe Lady Leandra might. She doesn't think Fenris, Anders, or Merrill would know either and while Aveline is fairly supportive of most of her endeavors this feels a bit frivolous--at least compared to her current task of learning to read. That leaves her with limited options, Sebastien, Varric, or Isabela--and well, she knows that Varric is always happy to answer her questions.

The tale he regales her with is filled with pomp and valor of the bardic colleges of Orlais. Some of them small and humble, yet known for producing some of the finest writers of the age--the gifted storyteller before her excluded of course since they don't teach his wits from a podium. Schools for actors, writers, painters, and knowing his audience, of course he saves the musical arts for last.

Orana will admit later, years later, that she's a bit smitten with the concept as soon as the words leave his mouth. Even without Varric's silver tongue she knows that the allure of real knowledge, of true practice because of love and not a desperate attempt to make herself more useful sounds so lovely.

But she is also young and Kirkwall under occupation and while perhaps Marian would pay for it, the word bounces in her mind again. Frivolous, yes Hawke pays her but it isn't for the evenings she spends playing the harp or lute. It's for her work in the kitchens, keeping the estate freshly laundered and clean, fetching things and keeping order with Bodahn. Things are too busy to consider such things--

And they stay very busy but it is much less the Hawke estate that is busy, because it is nearly empty, but instead maintaining Kirkwall. She works with Aveline, a personal assistant of sorts who can be trusted, a high commodity in the wake of the chantry and the circle. Varric is snatched from the Hanged Man and Orana nearly has a heart attack over it, fade rifts open up within and without the city and Orana plays gopher between Aveline and Bran as the staunch the city's bleeding.

Bran is nicer than she had expected, given all she's heard about him. She likes Bran and he seems to enjoy her presence as much as he enjoys anyone's--

And then Varric is Viscount, which is strange and baffling and she assumes that she will remain working with him and Aveline. However, one day Varric, out of the blue, asks if she still thinks about those music schools. Orana blinks owlishly, her stack of papers nearly fluttering out of her hands in such a breathless way that Varric takes it as a yes.

"You know, Melody, I've worked up some favors in Orlais," His grin is contagious and it blooms like a flower starting in Orana's chest and growing, "Your background wouldn't matter, just keep your grades up and I'll take care of things."

Orana arrives in Orlais a few months later with two trunks and her heart so full it could burst.

[cherryberg]

Your top 3 musicals ever gogogo gogo ogo go

HEEEEELPPPPP HEEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPPPP aough .... ardate please you have to understand that i Have to understand that my taste in musicals are very limited now. when you were a musical girlie in 2016, you leave that shit behind for a few hundred years and now have to rebuild all of that again from scratch with a new appreciation so...

this went longer than expected so the list goes Marvin Trilogy, Fun Home, School of Rock. more under the cut smiles

Marvin Trilogy

In Trousers, Falsettos [March of the Falsettos, Falsettoland]

Fav Songs, excluding obvious fan-favourites: Can't Sleep, How Marvin Eats His Breakfast, My Father's a Homo/Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist, Round Tables Square Tables, etc

i don't know many, but man. i like a good sung-through musical. means i can listen to the whole soundtrack from start to finish and have cohesively consumed a whole narrative. and tbh? falsettos, but even in trousers too, don't really have Bad songs. i've listened to the falsettos 2016 revival and in trousers 1979 original cast soundtracks dozens of times (both separately and together). which, i mean. compared to the other musicals i have here, i haven't even listened to their whole soundtracks (which. to be fair i did see those live). and yeah you have the really good songs that Everyone likes. the Thrill of First Loves and the Whizzer Going Downs and what have you, but you listen to the tracks a second time, or maybe watch the proshot again, and you get the smaller less-appreciated songs in your head. not included in the fav songs list because that thing's long, but i love A Breakfast Over Sugar. i get Set Those Sails and A Marriage Proposal and Miracle of Judaism stuck in my head. and its great! not to mention just how good and how important the story is .. i could go on but aough ..... long

Fun Home

Fav Songs: Edges of the World, Welcome to Our House on Maple Avenue, Telephone Wire, currently being annoying about Raincoat of Love

PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES WALL. PUNCHES

yeah man. saw this one for school. still have the ticket actually. but Because i did it for school, i have so much analysis and thoughts up here, it's maybe too long and specific. and also for like. a specific production that no one on tumblr would've watched. i would give anything to see that production again though. it wouldn't be the same as seeing it live, Especially during certain moments, but goodness gracious, man. the set design, the lighting, and that revolving stage? absolutely everything to me... so well integrated. just... mwah

School of Rock

Fav Songs: Stick It to the Man, Act 2 Scene 8: Dewey's Bedroom. You're in the Band .. mehbeh

Um... I don't really.. have a third that I can think of that's on par. But, it's School of Rock. It's awesome. my sibling had a track record of not liking musicals when they had to come and see it with me (when i still went out to watch musicals aough ...), but I think this was the first one they really liked - enough for me to get them a key ring of the show! (they cried during If Only You Would Listen too :]) It was a wonderful performance, and the kids were so good and coordinated too! They let us take pictures of the ending song ... which i just took a video of, so i still have that. I watched School of Rock during my ... hardcore theatre kid era though so.. i've got a few cringe worthy memories of it .. but yeah is good :]

I did see Moulin Rouge once as well, despite never having seen the movie, and that was very good as well. Though I'm not much for jukebox musicals (can't deny that Moulin Rouge tracks can be freakin' awesome though) and I think I was too busy ogling heehee

but yeah .. that's all :]

[laurarolla]

Lost Planet is finished but not entirely uploaded yet, will be by tomorrow probably. Time for thoughts on it!

Overall, it was a nice, short campaign that had just enough variety for the length except the final stage but I'll get to that in a bit. Most levels took about 30 to 45 minutes and there were 11 missions. The game feels a bit awkward to play in terms of reticle speed and general weapon precision and lethality, and the tutorial really doesn't teach you all the important information, although thankfully each time you get in a new VS (the game's mechs), you get a control popup that tells you what it can do, excluding the VTX-40A since it plays exactly like the VTX-140 (that kinda round mech in the playlist picture). The grapple is awkward as it doesn't grab anything but walls, so you get launched straight up after grappling and have to land on the platform you want to land on, even if you want to grapple to a platform below you. The story is alright, with shades of Gundam, Dune, and Tekkaman Blade here and there, and I also have to wonder if some of the game's elements started as some kind of Bionic Commando project way, WAY early on and just had a few bits left over after completely changing to a mech piloting shooter.

The game's difficulty is my biggest complaint. I'm sure that on Hard mode it's probably more of an actual challenge, but the amount of times it felt like there was some tiny thing the game did to increase the difficulty were a bit hard to ignore. Taking away weapons and thermal energy between gameplay sections, throwing a few one hit kill hazards at you from unexpected places, and a couple missions where you have to win a fight with the limited health bar of your VS and die instantly if its defeated. None of these situations really hurt the game overall with one exception: the final level. In that stage, you are in control of the L-P-9999 aerial combat VS, starting with a max load of 9999 thermal energy and equipped with sword arms and a vulcan cannon that is really only good for shooting down missiles in the final battle. You have to get used to a new control scheme, quickly reach the final boss area (because your thermal energy clock is ticking), and then figure out, mostly through trial and error, how to actually fight the final boss. It took me quite a few tries to beat him and it didn't feel as much like I'd learned how to use the machine as it did that I finally learned when the safe windows to attack were. I got him with very little health left in no small part because I was fighting with the controls, which don't feel quite like anything I've ever used in a mech piloting game before, of which I have played many. I guess what I'm saying is that if you want a cool mecha air combat sword fight, go pick up Zone of the Enders The 2nd Runner: MARS on steam instead. That game's full of those exact experiences.

I'm glad I played through Lost Planet, as it feels like something that other creators have managed to perfect perhaps by learning some lessons about what felt awkward in this game. I do also own Lost Planet 3, so that might come up later on, but unfortunately Lost Planet 2 as well as the definitive edition of Lost Planet 1 are both trapped in Games for Windows Live purgatory for who knows how long.

To end on a particularly positive note, I like all the mechanical and creature design in this game. The mechs almost all immediately communicate their gimmick or general usefulness, and the Akrid are neat enemies to fight with great designs.

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

[letteredlettered]

Hello! This is a broad question so it's fine you don't feel like answering. Do you ever get tired of fandom and its culture? I feel like sometimes there's nothing but discourse and arguments and just... it can be quite draining. Just wondered I'd ask you since you've been in a number of fandoms for a long time! I'm sure you've seen it all. Thank you for your time!!!

I think the last time I got tired of fandom was over 12 years ago. At that time, two things were true: 1) I was having some personal problems that meant I didn’t have a job, didn’t feel good about it, and didn’t have a lot of friends that could talk about things I wanted to talk about. 2) Fandom felt a lot more centered; it was easy to build communities and become a part of them. As a result, at that time, fandom was my main support network. Therefore, when certain aspects of fandom became unpleasant, I felt I had very few places to turn to. I eventually got a job, a lot more stable relationships, and several types of community. Fandom also dispersed onto many platforms, making it very hard to rely on fandom for social interaction. I still do get annoyed by some things in fandom, but when that happens, it’s very easy to dip into another corner of fandom that isn’t toxic or to walk away completely.

I will say that having participated in fandom for a long time has also given me a different perspective. Conversations about social justice--racism, misogyny, homophobia, ableism--as well as conversations about porn--what gets written, with which characters, what age and sex those characters are, how they’re treated, how this porn is posted and consumed--are conversations that have cycled through fandom since long before I was in it. I’ve learned a lot from these conversations, but after participating in them for years and listening to them for even longer, there’s not much more I can learn from random people on the internet. The same is true for issues with less of a social justice vibe--feedback culture, ship wars, fest etiquette, anonymous behavior, etc--I’ve seen it all before, and while I think these can be worthwhile conversations, I no longer feel a strong urge to participate all the time. Generally I feel like arguing on the internet has a smaller value for someone like me than listening, having compassion, modifying my behavior when necessary, and doing what I can irl and with my friends.

I have more to say about fandom cliques.

The other aspect of fandom that can grow wearisome, besides the cyclical debates, is the cliquish nature of fandom communities, and the way typical group behavior is exacerbated by the very fact of being online. Who is popular, who they like, what they say, who likes whom, who did what to whom, how everyone reacted to it--all of this can feel super important online in a way it doesn’t to me irl. I’d like to pretend I’m very classy and stay above all this, but that would be a lie. I have often wanted, in my fandom life, to be someone who has hordes of fandom friends, who leaves comments on everything they read, someone who recs with abandon, someone who runs fests, someone who replies to everyone and makes new people feel welcome and develops starter kits and makes memes everyone loves and invents all the fanon everyone uses etc etc.

Alas, my own social reticence prevents me from being that fan. I have tremendous problems with routine or anything that needs to be done regularly. This includes but is not limited to communicating with friends or people that interest me or people whose work I like. Basically, all the people who love me are people who are willing to keep reaching out to me even when I don’t always respond. I try to warn people about this and communicate clearly that it’s something I really struggle with, but it is not conducive to making friends.

Additionally, I have found that I struggle to feel a part of communities--partly because maintaining your status in a community means regularly being a part of it, but partly I have trouble identifying with most people. Fannish people share more of my interests than most people in the world, but even among fans, I often feel left out and excluded, an extra thumb on a hand that does beautiful things without me. These social difficulties isolate me, but they do have the benefit of insulating me. The one time I was almost in the middle of a fight about who wanted to be my fandom friend, I had the fortune to be so far out of the loop that I didn’t really know what the fuck was going on.

Anyways, the result of my personality is such that I mostly tend to look at fandom on the outside. I get pretty sad about this from time to time, but the times I have gotten deep into fandom have not gone particularly well for me. Either I’ve felt that feeling of exclusion I’ve mentioned before, or I noticed that others were being excluded--ie, I was for some reason included in The Popular Clique. This makes me intensely uncomfortable, and I’ve extricated myself in situations where I’ve felt that way. Unfortunately, fandom spaces that allow for cliques are also the places where you really get to know people and build community. As such, I really don’t make fandom friends easily. The few I do have are pretty much lifelong friends that I share a lot with besides fandom. My best friend is from fandom. My girlfriend is from fandom. Most of the friends I go to when I need to talk irl are from fandom. My original novel-writing partner is from fandom. These are the people I tend to talk to when I need to talk about fandom, though it can feel very lonely when I have a new fandom and no friends fall into it with me.

This is a long answer to say--fandom is exhausting if you’re really participating to the hilt, but given that I really mostly just write fics and answer asks, most of the time it’s chill. When I get deep into something I might join a discord or do a twitter, but I burn out of that pretty fast--though I sometimes do make friends that I keep forever after.

[threadsketchier]

sorry, but i don't really stay up to date with media or anything. I'm a star wars fan and i'm pretty excited for the new movie! in that meme you reblogged with the same reaction for fans/non-fans... i don't quite get it. Did the company do something bad? do other people just think it's not gonna be good? sorry for all the questions but i just wanted to stay informed xoxo

It’s a reference to the fact that a significant number of fans are dreading TLJ based upon their disappointment in the wake of TFA - and honestly, it’s not just limited to the major, outstanding offense of the OT characters’ arcs and achievements being backpedaled and undone.  There have been other strange and upsetting things concerning Disney’s marketing and stewardship of the franchise, rumored plot choices, etc. that have marginalized characters like Finn and Rose in favor of Emo Band-Aid, or excluded Lando despite the longest running film time in the saga’s history and a plot that could have easily accommodated him, etc. etc.

I’m no cranky old gatekeeper looking to ruin everyone else’s genuine good time, and many of my dash peeps have explained this in much better fashion; I also prefer not to air my personal opinions too often to minimize Drama™ but given that we’re literally on the threshold of the film’s release, I’m a human being with feelings and I’m going to voice some of them if I feel like it.

I sincerely started out enjoying TFA and I do love the new characters.  Just given where the new trilogy has gone, though, I would have preferred a different storyline or total separation between the old and new gang.  As my fellow dash peeps have said countless times, there was absolutely no necessity - other than to follow today’s current depressing “everything must be awful to be interesting” trend - to craft a tale completely obliterating the happy ending of the original trilogy and the sensible character arcs of Han, Leia, and Luke:

Han Solo: selfish nerd with a deeply buried heart of gold who’d obviously seen and been through a lot of shit who needed the right people and encouragement to listen to his conscience again and stop being afraid to commit himself to both a good cause and a wider set of friends.  Goes from “Better her than me!” to “[The temperature’s dropping too rapidly.] Yeah, and my friend’s out in it - I’ll see you in hell!” to “I’m sorry” to “When he comes back, I won’t get in the way.”  His arc is about finding companionship, belonging, and emotional openness.  He’s found a home and a family with these beautiful ragtag misfits.

Leia Organa: a fervently duty-bound young woman forged by trauma and pressed upon by staggering responsibilities into an icy diamond; she is hard and unyielding and unstoppable, and very emotionally repressed.  She has lost so much and can’t afford to lose more.  Yet a fluffy farmboy and a scruffy nerf herder worm their way into her heart.  Goes from “We have no time for our sorrows,” and “[Well, Your Highness, I guess this is it.] That’s right.” to “I love you” to “…Hold me.”  Her arc is also about emotional openness and embracing the hope and then reality that she can find love and gain a new family in spite of the destruction of her homeworld and the seemingly impossible war she helped lead.

Luke Skywalker: idealistic (yet pragmatic, in some ways) softboy who infectiously inspires everybody he comes in contact with to find the good within themselves, and has both a normal, down-to-earth bedrock upbringing and the strong personal moral compass to keep doing what he feels is right.  Goes from “I guess I’m going nowhere” to “Take care of yourself, Han; I guess that’s what you’re best at” to “[I feel like I can take on the whole Empire myself!] I know what you mean.” to “I’m looking for a great warrior” to “You want the impossible” to “They’re my friends, I’ve gotta help them” to “You’ll find I’m full of surprises” to “Ben…why didn’t you tell me” to “I warn you not to underestimate my powers” to “I can’t kill my own father” to “I’ve accepted that you were once Anakin Skywalker, my father…Come with me” to “Soon I’ll be dead, and you with me” to “I feel the good in you, the conflict” to “NEVER!!!” to “You’ve failed, Your Highness - I am a Jedi, like my father before me.”  He needed his dreams shattered to get a proper grasp on how to prevail in his circumstances - and the important part here is that he was already shattered in this trilogy, and put himself back together - but despite this, he kept on believing.  He chose to see the humanity in his father and defy the Emperor, the ultimate representation of the Dark Side, by a moral rather than physical victory.  He transcended the intentions of his teachers and became a Jedi in the truest sense by disputing his mentors and refusing to relinquish his devotion to his friends and an undeserving father.  Although he lost said father, he had the satisfaction of saving and freeing his soul and finding reconciliation with him, along with gaining a twin sister and a whole lot of new friends in comparison to his former, lonelier moisture farming life, and was equipped to carry on the knowledge of the Jedi with his own experiences to renew their doctrines.

In the new trilogy:

Han is implied to be a restless ne’er-do-well who could never escape the impulse to take off and not be around for his family, rather than being grateful and satisfied to finally have a stable life and a loving wife and friends who deeply cared for him.  He’s also painted as much more of an outright idiot and useless as a smuggler rather than a clever guy who just often finds himself in shitty situations

Leia is not allowed to hold on to anything in her life.  She must not only bear witness to even more planets being ruthlessly and callously destroyed, her own child grows up to commit patricide and it’s heavily implied that his genocidal tantrums are her and Han’s fault for being neglectful parents, as though being a woman with a demanding career automatically makes it impossible for her to raise a child properly, and never mind the fact that less-than-perfect-parenting from two people who still clearly loved their son is the flimsiest excuse for anyone to commit any level of murder

Luke is also not allowed to pass on his knowledge and bear any fruit for his hard-won labors.  His efforts to restore the Jedi go up in a flaming ruin, pointlessly bringing about a second shattering into his life for the express purpose of turning him into a grieving and bitter shadow of his former hopeful self who now abandons his found family rather than cleaving to them for support and encouragement as he always did before

The new films transform the OT into an ultimately hollow story in where there is no happy ending and nothing is learned and taken to heart.  The characters are doomed to suffer forever and not grow logically from their experiences.  This happens while we’re meant to get accustomed to the new team and watch them struggle to clean up the mess that apparently the older characters couldn’t fix after all.  It fosters a sense of nihilism - no one will ever get it right, and each new generation will just keep wading through another war and another war while making the same mistakes their elders did.

It sounds a liiiiiiiiiitle too much like reality for a story that’s supposed to be a space fairy tale.  If I want to be depressed, I’ll read the news.  If I want to be happy, I’ll go watch a star war.  Except oops, now I really can’t.

I’m well aware that plenty of folks don’t see it this way at all, and yes, duh, my response is biased.  Like I said, if you love the new movies, more power to you; it’s still a (mostly) free world.  But you asked, so I answered.

[mysticmjolnir]

Raise which concerns, and to whom?

The damage, the scraping of Ao3, has happened. There are very limited things Ao3 can do to prevent it from happening again, none of which are a gurantee. Even restricting your fic isn't a real protection, it just means the bastard misusing your work had make an account first. There is code in place now within Ao3 asking that scrapers desist, but, even if there's any legal basis for opposing them, everything practical that Ao3 can do right now has been done. It's an archive, it's a data set, it's a public resource that has been exploited in the worst faith.

A blackout will only effect users of the site, and will only raise awareness if there is a public campaign alongside it. What do we want users to do? Personally, the only thing I can think of right now that I want users to do is to not use "AI" to create and post fic to the Archive, either by prompting it from their own ideas or, more heinously, by using already written fic as a prompt to "finish" wips or fics they'd like to see continued. People who feel entitled to fanfiction in this way without any consideration of how it is created, or the actual quality of the fic, probably aren't going to response to a blackout with anything but feelings of more entitlement.

My only suggestion is writing in the author notes stating that you do not give permission for your fic to be fed into a generative machine. Appealing to people's decency sometimes works, if you're sweet enough. That and continuing to amplify the message that this is unacceptable behaviour, and will result in worse fic and, more importantly, less fic. As a fic writer, I'm not prepared to restrict my work and exclude non-ao3 account holders from reading it, for the sake of not being a drop in the ocean of what's been stolen. But as a fandom member, I would very seriously consider restricting or even removing my fic if I found out people were deliberately and independantly handing it over to a language model. That is what I worry about

The wider concerns about use of "AI" chatbots and and image generators are big and scary and horrid and very very important - but with regards to Ao3, I don't see what's to be done. Even the deeply, truly, cosmically important work of poisoning the well with as much hyper-specific filth as people can write only does so much - they know now. We can only make it a little bit harder for them to abuse our work for their models. The true threat to fandom communities is not scraping, it is the proliferation of AI generated fic, and the theft of individual writers' fic by people they trusted to read and enjoy their work in good faith.

So, unless there's an actual policy we want from Ao3, one that is understood and known and they're not already pursuing, or it's part of a very loud campaign trying to educate people about how, actually, easy to access fanfiction is a gift and not a right, I don't think that a blackout will have any point except to be somewhat annoying.

A question for Fic writers

[ririthedevil]

Thanks so much for taking the time to answer!! I asked this because I am a Jewish student and I have real concerns about the institutionalised anti semitism in the Labour party in recent years. A lot of people say that labour isnt racist because they don't acknowledge anti semitism as racism and i feel that is part of the problem. I am against everything the torries stand for and ideology wise i would probably be more labour, but the anti semitism really worries me. And of course theres a..

No need to say thank you! I always enjoy looking at different view points, especially as a minority myself who knows parties are a really difficult thing to handle. I hope you don’t mind that I’m going to copy and paste your others asks below as I know they continue from one another as you said! So to my followers who are following this conversation, this next paragraph in italics continues from this particular anon ask, and was asked by the anon separately due to the ask box word count limitation! 

…difference between the criticism of israel and anti semitism; one is a political stance and one is just pure racism, but a lot of anti israel criticism stems from deep rooted anti semitism. And while i agree that a few anti semites dont define the party, i still worry about how often these things tend to happen in it. As a whole, the Jewish community is quite liberal; the more religious groups might be more conservative but that a different thing, which is why it is so hard today for us. So since I personally don’t have day to day contact with people outside my community i wanted to ask what other people thought. Because, if we take the us, trump has been admittedly more vulgar, but he is being crucified for being islamophobic while labour leaders seem to keep getting away with anti semitism (in no way am I defending trump - he is a biggot that never shouldve been elected). One last thing - i feel that people think that because labour are not generally racist against skin colour people dont take the anti semitic claims seriously. Sorry for the long messages x By the way if you mind me asking, were abouts in the UK are you from? 

Firstly, I agree that anti Israel sentiments can be due to deeply rooted anti-semitism - just as often stereotypes can be intrinsically rooted in racist ideals. But I feel we also have to understand that, as you said, while a lot of these criticisms come from discriminative backgrounds, there is also some criticisms that are not just politically based, but humanity based. I feel Corbyn in this instance (I am excluding Livingstone because he is an all out anti-Semitic in my book) has the well-being of Palestinians well and truly within his mind - but ofc I cannot prove that. He counter acts Israel not because of the Jewish community, but because of the atrocities taking place under their watch (with help from others of course). I know I keep trying to defend myself with the ‘but I don’t know what he really means’, but that’s because I truly don’t. I don’t know the inner workings of his mind - and he doesn’t help himself by not being more specific in order for us to understand. I also feel like I’m putting words in his mouth so forgive me for that, but this is what I think is the case (I could be completely wrong). 

I think I understand what you mean in terms of the liberal but religiously conservative ideals. I guess for me as an Indian girl I think my community is more conservative in all aspects (except the generation which I am a part of). I would argue however with your argument about Trump, that his attacks have been much more individualistic based (on his personality and what he says) rather than Republicans (as of late) while I feel the anti-Semitism is more on the Labour party as a whole. I also feel Trump has been much more engaged with such discrimination within his policy making (i.e. the Travel Ban) while Labour have not done anything to insight such anti-Semitism within their policy - not to say the institution is not flawed. I think attacking an individual compared to an institution are very different things - and I don’t believe in this ‘one person to represent the many’ sometimes because we’re all just so bloody different surely that would be difficult? I mean that’s the point of having other people behind a leader - to also steer them and give them different view points. I also put in bold one thing you said, and I hope other people who see this also can give their two cents that way you get more views! It is worrying like you said it happens really often, but I do think as well there is a rhetoric of anti-Israel rather than the Jewish community in Labour’s current state, but of course you may view that different from your position which is completely fair! But I guess that is also a worrying case as well! 

In concerns with your second to last point on skin colour being seen as racist but anti semitism not being taken seriously, I shouted in my house ‘helllll yeahhhhhhhh’ because you are so right! Discrimination is only thought of within two spades of the mainstream thought - sexism and racism. We know however, there is much more to this, religion, disability, sexuality, age etc. The list goes on - and while I feel sexuality is taken more seriously these days, I feel like religion still isn’t. Yes islamophobia is a hot topic (rightly so), but there are other religions too which face discrimination. 

I actually asked my Jewish friend this question in a different way, as she is British and voted within this election. She practices Judaism almost to a T - she has such a huge love for her religion (she is a very active member of the Jewish society at my University). I know for a fact she voted Labour, and I asked why (like u asked me anon) the anti-Semitism behind the party and it’s history did not effect her vote and she said this:

Oh! Well I chose it because I always have! They still have a lot of the things I want in a leadership […] I believe in him [Corbyn] tbh. May is just going to allow more hate into this country with the way she is […] I think Jeremy is an individual against his whole party. Remember he was was in such a low point last year, where everyone was basically conspiring against him? It made me remember that parties are meant to be one entity but they really aren’t - there are so many individuals a part of that one party - like a community. But they are all individuals who have slightly different values but i guess with Corbyn he had some ideas really different to the rest of them for them to collapse so much […] Thing is yes he doesn’t speak for me as a Jewish girl, but he does speak for me as a student living in a country which is gonna get into some deep stuff soon, and I know as a student about to graduate he will speak for me. That’s why I voted him. 

I think she makes a really good point - basically saying we are all different people within one person. We all have different identities - like I’m a brown, Indian girl who is the child of two expelled migrants. But I am also a really British student who loves geography and wants to work in media. My friend just happens to take into concern one half of herself more than the other with this vote - she’s voting for her future. I also think the party’s Jewish members would not stand for this if the party was so intrinsically encased with anti-Semitism - or would definitely call it out at least. It is like you said, worrying that it is happening so much and I just hope those Jewish members if they get their seats are strong enough to call those attitudes out of the party. I don’t know - maybe I just sound really in denial to you and I’m sorry for that! 

Sorry that went off topic slightly but I felt her view point was just as important as mine. 

And regarding your last question, I won’t say where I’m currently based in the UK but I did my postal vote in regards to my ‘home’ borough in London. Also sorry if I’m not making sense! It’s 1:30am rn and I’m sooooo tired but I’ll make sure to look at this properly when I wake up and make sure I have answered all your questions!! Also don’t apologise for the long questions!