#it's just really brief mentions but i'll trigger tag just in case:

[friendofthecrows]

You thought I forgor, didn't you?

Ha! Detective character sheet be upon ye!

[click for higher resolution]

I wrote a lot (sorry) so it's not a terribly traditional character sheet. I just started thinking about this detective and then Didn't Stop. Meaning when it came time to display the information I was like "Ah. how am I going to fit this."

More details and fun stuff under the cut!

I did a -2 to 2 scale for the traits with zero as "neutral" or "average" bc I thought the comparative %s of the polls looked worse and were harder to grok at a glance.

I tried to include the comments from the notes as part of his description and backstory <3 (mostly in the flop era lol).

I hoped a lot of people would click vanilla extract as a show results button, so that I could take it differently and make Shivmei vanilla scented! And you did :) He loves vanilla flavored and scented things, which is why he smells like that. It is both a blessing and a curse.

Fun fact: what took me the longest in all of this...designing sleuths scarf. Scarf was tied with sharp features for the second most trait, so when I imagined this detective, I imagined the scarf, and the scarf that popped into my head was so pretty I desperately wanted it. Cue hours of research and designing my own fabric print patterns (though it's canonically embroidery that's too hard for me lol). I saved a file with just the flat print w/o the fabric warp or cut-offs in the scarf if anyone wants it. It's a cross between a damask, ikat, and ogee, with some Moroccan influence.

Ah and there I go writing a lot again...

Also, I did one of those bag contents sheets for fun :3

(I named the sidekick Leon via the Behind the Name random name generator, and when I instantly got the name of my favorite knight of the round table, I knew I was going with that one.)

Look up "design a detective" on my blog for the polls that caused this!

Now all that's left is to write a story about our collectively designed detective :D

[red-riding-wood]

Back from Hiatus

Trigger warning? I think? Brief mentions of medical stuff, nothing graphic. Oh, and death (but none occurred).

TLDR if you don't want to read seven paragraphs: Physical health bad, mental health bad, now hospitalised, fucked up when transferring my story files, hospital bad, home soon?, regardless you will be seeing me back in your feed probably more than you'd like

Rambling below cut

So, about a month ago I had to take a step back from Tumblr... and then an even bigger step back from Tumblr, because I had taken a step back from writing and I found that I just pressured myself too much to write and post when I did use the app. (I did my best to save your guys' stories in my drafts to read later but... I may have missed some and I definitely have some catching up to do.)

Why did I take a hiatus from writing? Well, that was due to my physical health declining in a real bad way. I won't get into it too much here, because I would end up telling a dramatic yet probably honestly boring story of the last four years of my life, but I'm willing to answer any questions if anyone's curious.

Anyway, that sent my head into a state of just utter... fear, I suppose. It's very difficult to care or focus on anything else when death is literally on your mind, and I was also in this weird state of limbo because I wasn't sure if I would be going to hospital or dying or what... so I didn't write, or really do anything except try to take care of myself the best I could. And I pretty much just isolated.

I've been in hospital a couple days now. The fear of death has lessened, and I think I'm gonna be okay, though I'm straight up not having a good time. I had this idea that what would get me through it was writing, so I sent myself all of my docs for my WIPs. Thing is, I keep shortcuts to them on my desktop, and apparently they don't save changes to the root file?? A lesson I learned after I showed up and found that massive chunks of my writing, notes, and storyboards were missing. Yeah, I fucked up.

But now there is talk of outpatient care as soon as this Friday which means I can maybe go home with my TPN (feeding through a vein tube which is the best way I can describe it since I am not a medical professional; it's basically a hardcore IV and I assure you it's badass and exactly like Cyberpunk 2077 -- that was sarcasm but seriously, props to anyone who lives with these because these are terrifying). If that's the case, I'll be able to carry on with White Ribbon and the fics I had started for Darjeeling and Budapest, and it will probably be a lot easier for me to write in general. I haven't tried writing yet, but hospital is a really uncomfortable environment for me (I mean, I'm sure it is for most people but I have a lovely lifetime dose of trauma on top of the usual) and I'm not managing as well as I thought I would so I have my doubts on how well I will be able to focus. (Don't worry about requests, guys... I haven't forgotten about any of them and I still fully intend to fulfill them, even if it means writing your smutty fantasies in hospital.)

If that's not the case, and I'm stuck here until surgery, well, I am willing it into the damn universe that I'm gonna write again regardless. So if you don't see me post something in the next week you have my blessing to send copious amounts of hate mail.

Thank you for reading my long-winded explanation. Oh, and, don't hesitate to message/reach out or tag me in anything! I'm feeling more social again now that I'm not, you know, dying and stuff.

[beautiful-monsters-raging]

but use your freedom of choice

(while you still can) Title taken from the song Freedom of Choice by DEVOVision.

Leo has something to tell Usagi.

_____

Trigger warnings include vomiting, fears of rejection, brief mentions of dysphoria, discussion of abortion and abortion-related politics (although the last one you should already be prepared for on this blog).

This is a story from a larger collection that you can read on my AO3 (that series has its own tags, make sure to read them all)

"I'm pregnant."  

The words don't emerge so much as escape, slipping from Leo's mouth as he and Usagi wash dishes together. He wants to grab them from the air, take them back, but it's too late. A dish slips from Usagi's hands and crashes into the sink, pieces shattering everywhere.  

Leo had had a plan. A scheme, really, a cunning and clever scheme. He'd be subtle about it, carefully feel out Usagi's perspective on choice and free will and whatnot, test the waters. He'd do it all himself, this time, so his brothers wouldn't accidentally help him into a disaster like his coming out had been (would have been, but Usagi had been so understanding, and really there was no way Leo could be so lucky twice, but)  

Anyway. He'd planned to get Usagi alone after dinner, make out with him a little, that would help things, right? Or would Usagi feel manipulated? He should have looked up the role horniness played in these types of conversations; someone must have written something. He should have, should have, should have...  

The thing is, Leo's brain is on the whole a whirling mess by now, and he's not thinking nearly as clearly or carefully as he ought to. So, when Usagi comments about how Leo’s been moving a little stiffly recently, is everything all right, all those carefully planned excuses go straight to hell and what comes out is the absolute, damning truth.  

"You guys okay?" Mikey calls from the living room, where Leo's brothers are watching TV and pretending not to be staying nearby "just in case." Like Leo wouldn't be able to handle Usagi on his own if...if he....  

Maybe it's considering the possible consequences of his latest fuckup, maybe it's just the fact that his body has been hijacked by a goddamn parasite, but Leo's dashing to the trash can before he can think, falling to his knees and throwing up. Ice Cream Kitty sticks her head out of the freezer, giving him a sympathetic whine, and oh god, the fucking cat's going to hear whatever comes next, isn't she?  

"We're fine!" Usagi calls back, voice slightly strangled. He hurries over to Leo's side, dropping to his knees and rubbing his shell.  

"Breathe, Leonardo, it's all right." His voice is so fucking tender Leo wants to sob, so he does, spitting up tears and snot and vomit and ugh, he's so gross. But that doesn't faze Usagi, it never has, and he holds on to Leo until the puking stops.  

Leo slumps over the edge of the trash can, panting, staring directly down at his radically altered dinner. For a wild moment he thinks he's somehow managed to spit it up, pulled off a miracle reverse miscarriage to get out of this conversation, but no such luck.  

Usagi stops rubbing his back, taking a slow, deep breath. "Leonardo--"  

"I'm getting rid of it." He doesn't look away, can't face hope or rage or whatever nightmare he's going to see in Usagi's eyes. "I...I can't--I'm not ready to be a parent, 'Sagi. I don't know if I'll ever be ready, and if I did it wouldn't be by--" He cuts himself off, breath suddenly strangled in his throat.  

The thought of laying an egg is sickening; Leo doesn't know what he would have done if Donnie, amazing Donnie, hadn't studied his unique anatomy over the years, until he was prepared for such an eventuality to give Leo the exact kind of care he needed. If it hadn't been for him, Leo would be...  

Well. Probably as screwed over as a significant chunk of birthing humans in America at the moment, to be honest.  

But he might be still screwed, in his own way. Leo forces himself to sit up and turn to face Usagi, blinking away tears. Fucking hormones making him want to cry all the time.  

"I'm sorry," he gasps. "I'm so sorry, Usagi, I don't want to take this away from you, but I have to, I need to, and I'm sorry, I know you wanted to give Jotaro a sibling someday, maybe, but I--"  

"Leonardo," Usagi cuts him off. He looks, he looks almost angry and Leo's going to fucking hurl again--  

"Leonardo, why in all the worlds would you think little enough of me to assume I would deny you your choice?"  

Leo blinks, stares. "....What?"  

"Maybe," Usagi reminds him gently, "and some day. And never in a million years, not if the price meant bringing pain to someone I loved."  

"I..." Leo's heart is fluttering, or maybe it's the parasite sucking his innards dry.  

"You are real, Leonardo. You will always be more important to me than some dry possibility. And if I was a man who felt otherwise, I would not be worth your time."  

Leo stares at him for a few seconds, then bursts into tears, slumping forward into Usagi's arms and weeping like a fucking child. Relief shudders through his bones, relief and the raw aftereffects of fear, pressure popped like a balloon.  

"I love you, Leonardo," Usagi says, planting a kiss on his head. "I always will. Nothing you do with your body can change that."  

He holds Leo until the crying stops, just like he did with the puking, only Leo doesn't feel disgusting anymore. He feels safe, he feels loved, and he clings on to that feeling--to Usagi--with everything he has.

______

Author's Note:

I am, thankfully, in a state that is still firmly pro-choice. But this attack on my rights is sickening, and I wish allsupport and compassion in the world to my sisters, brothers, and siblings who aren't so lucky. I love you.

[poisonouswritings]

Can I make a somewhat obscure request? About some headcanon of what the main 4 are like with an mc who suffered sexual abuse in his work area (for example, a nurse) and because of this them does not want to be sexually intimate with his love interest?

I hope its not so shady and have a nice day/afternoon/night

I spent a little while debating if this was something I could bring myself to answer. I said in my rules that I would write about SA as part of a character's background, and I guess I should have been more specific in saying I didn't want to write it as the focus of a post. That's why I specifically said I would be fine with a 'mention' of it. But I've had some thoughts about it so hopefully I can do this one ask and then not touch the subject again for at least a while.

GN!Reader, I won't be going into any sort of detail but I'll still tag this with an SA trigger warning, this will be brief and vague for my own sake, I'm going to add the NSFW banner here just in case.

Felix Escellun

Felix is very understanding, though I think he's a little surprised. You never think it's gonna happen to someone you know, y'know?

When you tell him, he's quiet. He wants to give you the space to get everything off your chest, and he doesn't wanna risk rushing you. He asks a few questions here and there - did you ever report it? Did you go to therapy? Do you want to? - but mostly he lets you talk.

I think he's afraid to touch you for a while. Even if you tell him it's okay, he's just a little anxious about accidentally hurting you or scaring you or anything.

If you struggle with panic-attacks or anxiety episodes or PTSD nightmares or anything like that, he offers to make some soothing potions or maybe a charm or something. Maybe even an enchanted dream catcher or something? He'll talk to you about different options and preferences and that sort of thing. If you're embarrassed about it then he takes your hands (after asking if you're okay with it) and assures you there's absolutely no shame in needing help. He spent five years living alone with his grief over Rime's death, so he knows how much that sucks and how important it is to be vulnerable. I think you taught him that.

I don't think he ever really had sex when Rime was dead? I can't remember if it was mentioned in canon but I dunno, I just think he was too consumed by his own grief to be interested in that. So when you say you aren't comfortable having sex, he's genuinely fine with that. He just needs you to outline your boundaries when it comes to other types of touching (hugging, hand holding, etc etc).

Stella cuddles with you more often, but presumably that's just a coincidence?

Anisa Anka

Anisa, as a Sunstone lieutenant, has probably had one or two incidents where her subordinates reported something along those lines. So when you tell her about what happened, she kinda defaults to that official procedure - comforts you softly, gently asks questions but doesn't press for info, assures you it wasn't your fault, so on and so on.

I think it's very much in her nature to want to confront the problem and punish the abuser. That's why those subordinates felt comfortable with telling her - because they were damn sure she wouldn't just sweep it under the rug. Shifts would immediately be changed to ensure no contact, evidence would be gathered, and she would do her absolute best to get the abuser imprisoned. If that wasn't possible then at the very least they would be kicked from the Order and threatened advised to stay far, far away from the victim.

But how can she possibly confront the person who hurt you when they're in another dimension? I think that's really hard for her to deal with.

She was already careful about potentially making you uncomfortable and/or accidentally abusing her position as your guide of this world, so now she's extra cautious about it. Very encouraging about whatever boundaries you need to set. She's fine with not having sex - toys exist after all - and I think she values emotional closeness over sexual intimacy anyways.

Very protective over you. Never lets you out of her sight when you guys are in public.

Sage Lesath

Alright let me get this out of the way; you can call it projecting or you can call it a natural morbidity, but I HC that Sage has dealt with this in the past.

Remember in the intro where Sage said he 'doesnt roll out of bed for anything less than ten silver' and one of the bar guys said he'd heard Sage would 'warm any bed for half of that'? I think there's truth to that. Especially when he had to take care of Tulsi and desperately needed the money.

I also think that you combine him getting sloppy - if not blackout - drunk with a reputation for being a slut with his favored drinking spots being full of criminals...

All I'm saying is that when you tell Sage about whatever happened to you, he's painfully understanding.

I think he's struggled with feelings of being weak. He's a strong man, a mercenary at that, and being victimized just,, fucks with him. So if you have feelings like that too, he does his best to reassure you.

You're uncomfortable with sex, that's genuinely fine. Just tell him what your limits are. Is flirting okay? Kissing? Cuddling? Do you want a safeword? He'll do everything he can to accommodate you. You just need to communicate your needs.

Probably doesn't bring you around the tavern anymore, or at least he lets you decide when you're okay going. He'll do everything he can to shield you from people being assholes, but it's a bar. Creeps are kinda inevitable.

I don't know what it would mean for your relationship. Sage is a very sexual guy, y'know? He would never ever pressure you into anything, but he might broach the topic of an open relationship. His first priority is you, though, so if it comes down to him relying on his hands and some toys all the time, then he's fine with that.

Rime Varela

This is another one of those times where I really wish we had a Rime route so I could make a better guess about how he'd react to a situation like this.

Something I've noticed in my replaying of Felix's route - aka the closest we got to a Redeemed route - Rime seems to struggle with empathy. And while we can certainly say that it's because there wasn't really a situation that warranted him showing it or because he was still so hurt over everything that happened that he emotionally shut himself off or whatever, I think it would be interesting if he just,, lost the ability to express empathy when he was stuck in the Void. Maybe it's something that gradually comes back over time?

That isn't to say that he doesn't care about what you're saying. Far from it. He just... doesn't really know how to comfort you. Not with something like this.

He's the least reactive about what happened, and maybe that's a good thing. Obviously he assures you it wasn't your fault and doesn't think any lesser of you for what you went through, but he doesn't have the same sort of heaviness that the other three get.

He really doesn't mind not having sex. Five years in real life was like,, I dunno, a thousand years in the Void or whatever. He wouldn't mind having sex, but he also really doesn't if it doesn't happen.

Though it's not obvious, Rime is keeping a close eye on you from then on. If he notices you're getting anxious or having nightmares or anything like that, then he offers to let you talk about it. And if you don't want to then he'll change the topics, usually ranting about something he's been researching or complaining about something stupid the other Starsworn did or whatever.

[psychological-musings]

new blog!

if I did it right, this post is pinned with tags so I can navigate to each tag easily.

edit: ive written a blog title and description on mobile 3 times now and it keeps reverting to Untitled. I'm giving up for now. basically I'm queer and relatively young but 21+, adhd and autism, parental traumas etc. got gender too.

heavy topics on this blog. this is basically my dump blog for my political opinions and stuff that's generally just a bit too heavy for my main.

if you have questions and ask respectfully I'll probably give my opinions on stuff but I can be a bit brash? but generally I'll try not to assume bad faith

ive never answered an ask before because ive never really posted or had more than 1 follower before but just in case someone decides to talk to me, I prefer language that leans away from essentialism, especially gender essentialism, and I also believe that inherent evil does not exist in people. so... there's that.

commonly used tags under the cut

tags and their meanings:

#mine, meaning something that is my original post

#my thoughts, meaning I agree strongly with the content of the post

#musings.txt, meaning I have added something directly to a post

#helpful, for posts that have helpful information (a "life hack" if you will)

#adult ref, for posts that are useful for adjusting to adult life and responsibility

#health ref, for posts that are useful for self-maintenance and care, mostly mental health but also for dealing with hospitals sometimes (a lot of overlap with the adult ref tag, as you can imagine)

#my tags, meaning I put relevant brief thoughts in the tags and I want to find it later.

#not fact checked, meaning I tentatively think it's good information but I haven't verified anything. this is the default for things on this blog, but things with this tag mean that I think it's extra important to double check

content warning tags that I plan to use:

#cw biological sex mention, for posts that equate woman=vagina and man=penis, because a lot of useful posts use this sort of language and I'm not sure what else to tag it as

#cw gender essentialism, for posts I reblog that mention gendered terms as if they are inherently attached to some trait

#cw trans essentialism, for posts that speak as if "cis" and "transphobe" are synonyms, or alternately, that no trans person could ever do something transphobic

#cw queer essentialism, for posts that speak as if "straight" and "queerphobe" are synonyms, or alternately, that no queer person could ever do something queerphobic

#cw essentialism, to encompass cases that aren't the ones above specifically

#cw bad parenting, for posts I reblog that mention bad/neglectful/abusive parenting

#cw negativity, for posts with a very pessimistic/hopeless/disparaging tone because frankly reading those can kind of mess with your emotional stamina

#cw depressing, for posts that address depressing/hopeless/suffering-based topics in real life, or talk about other stuff that is important but draining

#tw societal ills, for posts that talk about or mention or contain examples of things that cause societal harm to people. this is a trigger warning instead of a content warning because it's more about how it feels to read it than the literal content itself

I'll probably update this post (I think I can do that??) if I come up with more!

[morgunaa-stark]

Rules

These are some rules you'll have to follow if you want to interact with me, or most any other roleplay blog on this site.

Continued intentional breaking of these rules will probably end in a block.

1. No smut, whatsoever. My Morgan is still a minor and I don't want anything to do with NSFW content myself. This is non-negotiable.

2. If you're a minor, for my own comfort I would rather not interact . Following is okay, brief conversation OOC. Otherwise everything else is 18+. Its not personal, I promise you.

4. For now I would prefer to interact with Marvel or MCU characters only, just until I get comfortable enough with Morgan to cross over with other fandoms. I'm mostly familiar with the MCU and the FOX X-Men films, haven't read much of Marvel Comics other than Ms. Marvel, some snippets of Invincible Iron Man (2016, the one with Riri Williams), and the Superior Iron Man run. If you mention a comics character chances are that I'll recognize their name, otherwise I'm pretty clueless. Feel free to educate me, though!

3. Personal blogs PLEASE DON'T INTERACT. Excluding PSAs and anything I specifically tag as okay to rb. Munday stuff and OOC posts that aren't venting are okay to like. No reblogging.

6. No bigotry here. Racism, misogyny, Islamophobia, pro-Nazism, "pro-life" sentiment, xenophobia, etc. Will result in a block. If there's an accident you will be given the chance to apologize and/or explain yourself, I'm willing to forgive mistakes borne of ignorance or misunderstanding. You can always ask OOC if you're unsure about something, my IMs are open to all followers.

5. I don't actively write anything that may be potentially triggering, but just in case I try to tag everything. If I missed something or there's something specific you would like tagged feel free to let me know! This goes for everyone who views my blog.

7. I suck at plotting, okay? I just do. I have tons of ideas and tend to just run off with them at any given moment without thinking things through. My ADHD is a constant nuisance. That doesn't mean I'm entirely disposed to plotting, if you really want to I can try to settle down and follow your lead. If you've got an idea you think I would like hop in my IMs.

8. Inbox karma is very nice and very appreciated, but not enforced. I get a little sad if people reblog the meme but don't send it to me is all. I don't want to make anyone do something they don't want to.

9. If you post a lot of OOC I'll probably be a bit annoyed. I usually don't mind as long as it's tagged but if the person I'm following to roleplay with is constantly posting stuff that's not roleplay I kinda want to unfollow. Its nothing personal, I promise you. I'm just here for some rp fun! That said, occasional venting on your own blog is totally fine and encouraged, you're allowed to express your feelings OOC sometimes.

10. I get burnout and am easily distracted. I forget things. I procrastinate. If I've been sitting on my replies for a while please let me know! I hate to leave you guys hanging.

11. I am cautiously open to shipping, but there has to be chemistry! I won't ship anything that: involves a huge age gap, includes a relative, biological or adoptive, has non-con/rape elements to it. This list may be updated from time to time. I can do multiship! If I ever get to the point where I have multiple ships there will be a separate verse for each.

12. I am semi-selective, I will decide who to follow and interact with at my own discrection, but I'm usually not too picky! OCs are subject to my own personal scrutiny as an OC writer myself, I outright won't touch blatant self-inserts. Not that self-inserts are inherently bad, I honestly read some myself sometimes. But something about interacting with that kind of character makes me very uncomfortable. It's not personal! If an OC is well written enough I probably won't mind following as long as I think there's room for interaction between them and Morguna.

13. American English is my first and only language right now. I plan to learn Arabic, but that's for religious purposes and has nothing to do with anything related to this blog. If for whatever reason you don't roleplay in English I can't follow. It has nothing to do with your race or country of origin I literally just don't know the language and respect you enough not to try with google translate.

14. I don't necessarily have any triggers, but please tag anything with pictures and/or detailed descriptions of bugs like roaches, beetles, flies, moths etc. As well as trypophobia and just unsanitary places or surfaces. That stuff super upsets me, like "I'm on the verge of tears" upset, and if I see it I might unfollow. ALL nsfw content should be tagged, I'd appreciate suggestive being tagged as well. I don't want to see or read anything pertaining to or referencing sex, sexual activities, etc. Non-negotiable, I don't do smut or read smut whatsoever and want nothing to do with it.

16. I don't do RP drama. I'm not here for that. If someone in the community is a known child predator/bigot/abuser, or other unsavory individual then feel free to let me and others know, I will block said person and report if needed. Otherwise I'm not going to block or cancel someone OOC because of an dispute that has nothing to do with me. Come on guys, this isn't junior high.

15. This is less of a rule and more basic decency but please tag spoilers for recent films/shows ESPECIALLY MARVEL!

17. I cut my threads, and you should too! Nobody wants a long chain of reblogs on their dash. Whether we cut at 2 or 3 connected posts is up to you, but they will be cut! If for whatever reason you or I can't cut the thread will be continued in a new post.

18. Icons!! I love icons, I love gifs, I love images! I don't mind what size they are, as long as they aren't huge and consistent between threads. No hate to iconless roleplayers, I'm simply autistic and prefer visuals to help my mind coordinate scenes better.

20. Don't be a jerk. I'm here for a good time and so are you! That means no godmodding, drama, bullying, etc.

19. Formatting is very nice but if you can't use it for whatever reason it's okay! I'm not gonna unfollow you for not using fancy text.

Okay, I think that's everything for now!

If you've read the rules, feel free to follow me! If you want, send me a 📖 in my inbox. It's not required but highly appreciated!

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Ghosts from the rainforest

Hi!! I'm back after the Dengue outbreak we have in my town, I had a ton of work and a lot of sick patients, and then I got sick too, so that's why I have been absent, anyway I write part of this while I was sick so if it gets too dark blame the stupid mosquitoes and the fever, I hope you enjoy it.

Summary: A simple rescue mission will bring him back to a place full of nightmares, and maybe this time he could find redemption. Situated in 1975, 2 years after the events of Skull Island.

Warnings: Violence, blood, wounds, mentions of war, cursing, implied smut, smoking, angst.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 5: Old faces

"It was really big huh?" Reles said once you walked back to the campsite.

"WHAT??!" You said completely taken by surprise "I don't... We weren't... I wasn't, what are you talking about?" Your mouth seemed to have a malfunction.

"The monkey" He said looking strangely at you. "I mean Conrad show you the pictures right?"

"Oh that... yeah, it was incredible" You said and the redness in your face only augmented "So you all saw it too"

"Yeah, I mean it took us down from the air, and took many good men with him, but that's in the past now." He gave you a sad look and while you tried to empathize with him your embarrassment start to disappear "Anyway where is the captain?"

"He..." There was the redness again.

"This bloody jungle" He said appearing behind you, doing a better job to remain calmed than you "I have been bitten by more mosquitoes in this past four days than in my whole life" Or maybe he actually didn't care enough about you to have something to hide you thought bitterly.

You avoid his gaze and walked away to get inside your tent, once again you have let your emotions get the best of you, and even when a few moments ago you were lost in the blissful paradise of his touch you had chosen to literally run away from him.

Fortunately the rest of the crew interpreted your silence as grieving and they stay out of it, and he had the delicacy to stay in the back of the truck so you didn't quite spoke besides the strictly necessary.

You crossed the border without any problems and before you realized another two weeks had gone by and you were almost in the other end of the island, just two days away from Bontang and the ship that will take you back to the US.

The last village was a nice quiet place full with lovable people whose grateful looks make all the days on the jungle worth it, but the truth about the world that you knew now was too loud to ignore it, even when the idea was ridiculous the evidence was there and you were afraid that the need of being part of that bigger world would push you away from the job you still have to do on those villages.

A loud noise wake you up in the middle of the night and the clear sound of a gunshot paralyzed you inside the tent, followed by the cries of the younger children and some of the women.

"Di manakah mereka dapat dari itu?" Where did you get that? An authoritarian voice more like a growl asked furious, and you immediately recognize his owner and a horrible shiver run down your body and the memory of a knife in your stomach flashed in your eyes, you touch the scar that was now almost invisible, but this time you were not willing to hide and run.

You went out of the tent cautiously, there he was Sargent Walker, one of the many former militaries that chose to follow the money when the war ended, he was holding a piece of clothing in front of a terrified woman who kept crying and looking down to her child, who was on his knees in front of Walker.

"Let's try again" He said passing his humungous hand on his poorly kept beard, he take out the bullets on a small gun and put just one back in the barrel, and made it roll "Di manakah mereka dapat dari itu?" He said and shoot in the head of the child fortunately not harming him.

You were getting closer and when he was about to take another shot a strong arm pull you back delicately enough so you won't scream. James make you stay quiet with a sign of his hand and then you realize what Walker was holding, it was Conrad's old SAS jacket that among other things the people offered to wash down the river, probably where that animal and his men found it.

"Now you kill children four feet from you, are you that blockish??" He said with a calm voice trying to hide his anger. "I'm here, you don't have to threat this people." He said doing something incredibly stupid and throwing his gun in front of him rising his hands.

"No Captain, is not blockish since it made you come out" He said pushing the child aside with a kick and his mother run to take him to safety. "I thought you knew better than keep messing in my business"

"And I thought that with all the money you got, you will stay out of Malaysian territory, what happened did you drink it all or did you left it in the room of some cheap prostitute, Sargent??" He roll the last word on his mouth maliciously and before giving any answer Walker made a signal to his men and two of them push him to the ground hitting him in the stomach.

"No, no Captain" He said finally once Conrad rise his look at him "I asked first, what in the name of God are you doing in my island?" He said and approach to him, and James spit on his face for all response getting himself hit on the face again, this time the blood start running kn his cheek and from his lips and you could no longer watch.

"Don't!" Slivko's voice call you from behind and pointed at the jungle where they had been repairing the truck away from the village, your heart start racing with gratitude that they were fine, but the look on his face dissipate that feeling immediately.

"We have to help him" you said in a whisper.

"The Captain give the order of keeping you safe Doctor, we have to hide" He said, sounding too adult for his young face.

"What do you mean hide? He needs you!" You said looking back at Conrad that was still on the ground.

"He made his choice, we have to leave" Reg said more like a plea, and took you by the hand urging you to come with him "Y/N please we have to go" You let him lead you, but you turn back to look at him one last time and for a brief moment he look back at you and gave you a knowing nod.

"Too bad it has to end like this" the Sargent voice said and put his gun back to James head "Farewell old friend..." his hand was firmly holding the trigger.

"STOP" You scream and run away from Reg to put yourself in front of Walker. "Stop this right now" Two of his man hold you still before you could reach Conrad and he look at you angry.

"What is this? You are also here? Is it my birthday guys?" The Sargent said with a disgusting grin on his face. "Let me guess, another of your little diplomatic missions" He said at Conrad.

"This man is my personal guard and we are in a humanitarian mission, I will ask you to stop what you're doing and leave this village alone" You said and he start laughing, but put down his weapon.

"You have balls doc, I'll give you that, I'll remember to push the knife deeper the next time, or maybe just go for the throat directly" He said and the man let you go.

"Whatever you think you'll get from this people you are wrong, leave Y/N out of this, your problem is with me" Conrad said with a throaty voice when you help him stand up. "Why the fuck did you came back?" He said at you more calmed.

"James you're hurt, focus on that" you answered.

"Y/N? James?" Walker said before laughing again "Oh at least the good taste is a constant in you Captain, and you, the little uptight fancy doctor, in the end you are just a whore as any other woman don't you? Well since there is nothing useful for me here I might as well get rid of you both" he said and your legs tremble a little but James make sure to hold you tight, even as badly hurt as he was.

One of Walker's men approach him and whispered something to him, a moment after he nodded not quite convinced.

"Let's go", he said finally "Kill him, and bring her"

"What? You are going to have to kill me too, because there's no way I'm going without him" You said putting yourself in front of James.

"Fine, as you wish" Walker said and hold his gun again, but this he didn't shoot, the last thing you saw was the wedge of the gun before it hit you on the head and everything went red, then black, you could feel the hot blood running through your face and Conrad screaming in the distance, then your body was lifted and tossed in the back of a truck and he next to you, and then silence.

@kinghiddlestonanddixon I'm tagging you in case you want to continue reading this little story 😊