#it's just hard because I'm on my feet 7-8 hours a day 5 days a week n I'm at work for 9-10 hours counting commute if i take the bus and ghg

[7-oh-ta1]

Okay so like I'm not in a situation where I can cook meals at night so I get frozen meals w veggies right but I'll be damned if sometimes these chicken with a side of broccoli is just broccoli w chicken which yk I'm a fan of broccoli but girl I bought chicken..... where's it....

[imaginespazzi]

Part 3: Miss Me, Miss Me Not

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10

And it hits me when the lights go on (shit, maybe I miss you)

(In which a lazy writer somehow still manages to make her deadlines, much to her own shock)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining and a teensy bit of Fluff

Words: 5.8K

TW: Swearing (once again I think that's it?)

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 I'm not gonna lie til about an hour ago, I very much did not think I was gonna give y'all a Monday update but here we are! A couple of housekeeping things, I went back and added months to the years so hopefully that's more helpful. I lowkey dislike this part but I felt like the fic needed it and I'm excited to write the next part. Ngl, the editing on this is pretty nonexistent because trying to read this back lowkey killed me so please feel free to point out mistakes so I can fix them. As always, let me know what you liked, and disliked and anything you wanna see going forward. I really appreciate all of y'alls feedback and the long reviews make my day! Have a good rest of your week lovies <3

September 2017

Azzi: just got home :) 

It’s a simple text and it should be easy for Paige to conjure up an equally simple reply. Instead she finds herself typing and deleting, over and over, because nothing sounds quite right. There’s this hollow feeling thrumming in her chest, that has only gotten stronger every passing minute since she’d said goodbye to Azzi at the airport. If she tries hard enough, she can still feel the remnants of their last hug lingering against every inch of her skin. She wants to memorize that feeling and create a blanket out of its threads to numb the ice cold shiver that’s been repeatedly running through her veins from the second Azzi had gotten on that plane. But even that might not be enough. Not when she’s learnt just how warm Azzi’s presence can be and how everything else pales in comparison. 

Paige lies to herself that it’s an accidental slip of her fingers, that she’d meant to press send not call, that she had every intention of hanging up the facetime on the first ring itself. 

But then Azzi picks up on the second one.

And really it would be rude to hang up. 

“Hey what’s up?” Azzi’s face fills the screen, tired eyes staring intently at Paige through the screen. 

“Oh um-” Paige fumbles for words, awkwardly shuffling her feet that are dangling off the side of her bed, “I just wanted to ask how your flight was?”

Azzi raises an eyebrow, “you couldn’t have texted me that?”

“Too tired to text,” Paige lies and the words i just wanted to hear your voice stay stuck, burning hot, in her throat, “gotta save these money-making fingers for more important things.”

“Yeah I’m hanging up-”

“NO-” it comes out far more forceful than it should and if possible, Azzi’s eyebrow shoots up even farther, as Paige clears her throat, “I mean- uh- you didn’t tell me how your flight was.”

Paige is too busy cringing at herself to notice the light blush that tinges Azzi’s cheeks. She’s too busy wondering why this girl brings out this nervous bumbling side of hers to notice the fond smile that almost cracks through Azzi’s lips. 

“The flight was okay. I actually got to sleep this time,” Azzi says pointedly and Paige laughs. 

“So what you’re saying is it was boring as hell.”

“I’m saying it was really peaceful not having someone yapping in my ear while I was trying to sleep.”

“So you didn’t miss me?” Paige presses, trying to keep her voice teasing despite how desperately she wants the admission. 

Azzi hesitates, as if she’s debating with herself, before, “I didn’t say that.”

It’s a little ridiculous how large Paige’s grin is but it’s okay, because Azzi’s smiling back, soft and shy. They’d look foolish to anyone else, the way they’re so intently gazing at each other through a screen as if there’s no barrier between them at all. 

“It’s gonna be weird going to the gym without you tomorrow morning,” Paige confesses after a second, moving to lay down on her stomach. 

“I bet. You’re gonna get absolutely nothing done without me,” Azzi teases dramatically before her eyes soften, “it’s weird that I’m not gonna see you at all tomorrow.”

There’s something gut-wrenching about that admission and yet, there’s something in it that heals a part of Paige’s heart that she hadn’t even known needed to be fixed. It means something to her that Azzi must feel it too. Because if she’s honest with herself, Paige had been just a little afraid that maybe the connection was just in her head, that maybe Azzi was simply tolerating her presence out of kindness. 

“You should just move to Minnesota,” Paige replies finally, “much nicer than Virgina or whatever.”

“Have you ever even been to Virginia?” Azzi asks, eyebrows raised as she flips herself to lie on her back, holding her phone above her in a way that lets Paige see entirely too much and yet not nearly enough. 

“No but it sounds boring as fuck.”

“Not with me,” Azzi says, biting her bottom lip sheepishly as soon as the words are out. 

Paige smirks, suddenly filled with a brand new confidence, “yeah? You’d make Virgina interesting for me Fudd? What would we do?”

Azzi licks her lips and Paige feels her mouth go dry. 

“We’d be together,” the younger girl says finally, averting her gaze as the depth of her words begin to make Paige feel like she’s being flooded by an ocean of emotions she’s not quite ready to feel yet, “anything can be interesting if we’re together.”

It would be so easy to come up with a sarcastic quip or tease Azzi for being a sap and yet there’s a certain sincerity in this moment that feels too fragile for Paige to feign nonchalance. 

“Is Virginia nice in the winter?” she asks finally, hands fidgeting with the hair ties secured around her wrist, “Minny’s a little too cold sometimes.”

Azzi’s eyes shine and Paige wants to try and read them, find the little clues hidden in her irises and solve the mystery lingering behind the crimson flush of her cheeks. But the truth is that Paige is a little scared of what she’d find, a little scared that discovering Azzi might mean discovering herself too. 

“You should come find out some time,” the brunette says, casual tone filled with intricacies of something far deeper. It’s the closest they’ve gotten to saying anything of actual substance and they tip-toe around saying what they both want, daring the other to ask first. 

“I dunno,” Paige says, determined to win the game, “I’m not in the habit of showing up to places without a proper invite.”

Azzi scoffs, “a proper invite? Are you expecting someone to send you a carrier pigeon with a gold letter addressed to her royal highness or something?”

“That would be nice,” Paige surmises and Azzi rolls her eyes.

“Does your back ever hurt from carrying that ego?”

“Only hurts from carrying my team.”

“Oh my god you’re so full of it.”

“Full of talent? Yessirrrr.”

Azzi huffs, “Paige.”

“Azzi,” Paige hums. 

“Do you wanna come visit me in Virginia during winter break?” Azzi says finally, a small smile playing on her lips like she’s okay with losing this game as long as it’s to Paige. 

“If I must,” Paige says dramatically, shrugging her shoulders and everything as Azzi lets out an offended squeak. But inside, her heart flutters at the offer, at the idea of seeing Azzi again, even if it feels like a lifetime away. Because as long as it’s Azzi on the other side, Paige and her impatient self can wait however long it takes. 

“Actually you know what nevermind, you don’t gotta come,” Azzi concedes bitterly,  scrunching her face (and Paige would never tell her this but she thinks Azzi looks just a little too cute when she’s mad and so maybe she riles her up on purpose)

“No takesies backsies Az,” Paige sing-songs before her lips uptick from a smirk into something more sincere, “hey Az,” she whispers, giggling to herself when Azzi pretends to ignore her, “I’d really like to come see you in Virginia during winter break.”

And as a brilliant grin dazzles across Azzi’s face, Paige realizes that her favorite thing about Azzi’s smile isn’t when her dimples show or when her eyes twinkle, it’s when it’s there because of Paige, when it’s there just for Paige. 

“Good,” Azzi whispers as they fall into a comfortable silence. 

There’s this serene sense of calm that laces itself around Paige’s nerves. Her normally fidgeting body is content to be perfectly still, an anomaly to her usual demeanor. The truth is that Paige isn’t the kind of person who’s okay with just existing; she likes to spend every second in motion, living out the high. There’s a part of her that’s scared of missing moments, scared that the people around her will leave her behind if she doesn’t chase them. But it’s different with Azzi. The younger girl makes Paige feel like it’s okay if she takes a moment to just breathe. Because Azzi will wait. Because Azzi won’t leave Paige behind. 

“Wait,” it’s a little while before Azzi pipes up, shaking Paige out of her thoughts, “what time is it?”

Paige’s eyes flicker to the time on her phone, confused by the line of questioning, “it’s almost 9 why?”

“Don’t you have a team party or something to go to tonight?” Azzi asks, face scrunching, “I swear you told me you had something tonight.”

“Oh-yeah- Amaya’s back to school thing,” Paige sheepishly scratches her neck, suddenly feeling itchy in her flannel shirt. She’d forgotten she was wearing that instead of her daily clothes. Hell, she’d forgotten she was supposed to be going somewhere in the first place, too occupied with other thoughts. 

“Bro get up,” Azzi orders, “you’re already late.”

“Nah it’s fine. I don’t think I’m gonna go,” Paige says and she thinks she should probably feel a little more guilty about it. 

“What do you mean you’re not gonna go?” Azzi asks in disbelief, “dude you’re the star of the team. You have to go.”

“Amaya will understand besides-” Paige drags in a deep breath, feeling vulnerable as the next words fall out in a quiet whisper, “I don’t wanna hang up yet.”

“Paige c’mon we can talk tomorrow,” Azzi tries to protest but it’s half-hearted at best.

“I wanna talk right now,” Paige argues, “you don’t wanna talk to me?”

For a second Paige thinks Azzi might just say no, might just chip away a little bit of heart with a well-intentioned rejection, but she doesn’t, “always wanna talk to you P.”

“Then don’t hang up. Talk to me.”

And Azzi does. All night. 

Two weeks laters there’s a letter, in an envelope with a picture of a carrier pigeon, that arrives in the Bueckers’ mail box. 

To her royal highness, 

Unfortunately I couldn’t find an actual carrier pigeon (I swear I tried) so this envelope and the mailman will have to do. 

~ You are formally invited this winter break to the Fudd family residence in Virginia. ~

(And you better show up Bueckers)

Yours, 

Azzi

February 2033

“I can’t believe you’re leaving me,” Ice whines petulantly as she makes herself comfortable on the couch across from where Paige is getting her makeup done, “this is parental neglect.”

Paige laughs, eyes closed, her makeup artist does her mascara, “you’ll survive.”

“You don’t know that” Ice argues, plucking a grape from the fruit basket before segueing into a rant about how boring Arlington, Texas is. 

Paige is grateful for the distraction her younger friend is providing. Her nerves had been on edge since the moment she’d woken up this morning, anxious to get the impending farewell press conference over with. She’d already started accepting that the Wings weren’t the right place for her but that feeling had only been heightened by her trip to the Valkyries. And ever since she’s come back, Paige feels a little bit like she’s sleepwalking through her final moments in Dallas. If she’s honest, she’s probably rushing things a little bit. There’s still plenty of time before she really has to move to Oakland but it had been her choice to move there as soon as possible. Paige had always been good at conjuring excuses and she had plenty as to why she needed to be in California so soon. But at the end of the day it isn’t about training or team bonding or any of the other hundred justifications she’s given anyone who’s asked. It’s about a little girl who’s eyes had been brimming with tears when saying goodbye, a little girl who had made Paige pinky swear that she’d be back as soon as possible. 

Really, Paige thinks she should be applauded for her restraint, because truth be told, the second Stephie’s lower lip had trembled, Paige had been prepared to ask Ice to just ship her stuff to Oakland so that she’d never have to let go of the little girl’s hand. 

And here’s the thing, Paige is willing to admit she wants to go back to the Bay Area for Stephie. It’s that pesky little part of her that’s desperate to go back for Stephie’s mother, to go back for one more hesitant yet lingering touch, that she won’t ever share with anyone else. 

“I never thought I’d live to see you and Azzi willingly playing together again,” Ice says as soon as Paige’s makeup artist leaves the room, “KK and I didn’t even try betting on it, we were that sure it wouldn’t happen. Shit I should have. I totally would have won.”

“Don’t y’all get tired of betting on my life?” Paige asks, rolling her eyes, trying to ignore the first part of what Ice said. 

“Betting on your life has made me hundreds of dollars bro,” Ice says, before a more earnest  look crosses her face, “but genuinely P, are you sure about this? There’s a lot of history there.”

Paige sighs, “it’s not about our history. It’s a basketball decision. And we’re both mature adults who know that. I’m just tryna win. Nothing else.”

“It’s never nothing when it comes to you two.”

“It is this time,” Paige argues adamantly and Ice raises her hands in surrender. 

“I just don’t want another set of teammates to have to deal with y’alls bullshit,” the younger girl teases, but it’s laced with a hint of seriousness that sends a flare of guilt shooting through Paige’s body. 

“Ice-” she begins.

But Ice is quick to change to a lighter subject, “can’t believe Jana’s the one that gets mom and dad back together. I always knew she was the favorite.”

“We didn’t have favorites,” Paige plays along, thankful for Ice and her ability to always keep the tension to a bare minimum. 

“Oh don’t lie. We all know you did,” Ice scoffs and then lets out a chuckle, “and now Azzi’s actually a mom. That’s kinda insane. And you met the kid right?”

“Yeah. Yeah I did,” Paige says and she can’t help the way her entire face breaks into a gleaming smile as her thoughts turn into memories of Stephie. She doesn’t even realize she’s gotten lost in a different world until Ice coughs, an amused grin playing on her lips. 

“You’re so royally fucked Paige,” Ice shakes her head, “the only person I’ve seen you smile that big for before is Azzi.”

“She’s a cute, smart, adorable kid, that’s why I’m smiling,” Paige tries to defend herself. 

“She’s Azzi’s cute, smart, adorable kid,” Ice counters. 

“That has nothing to do with it,” Paige protests again but it rings hollow to her own ears.

“Oh my god I needa call KK and get this bet started. It’s only a matter of time for real,” Ice says, more to herself than to Paige, as she whips out her phone, probably texting KK. 

“A matter of time till what?”

“You’ll find out Paigey,” Ice says gravely with a mocking smile, patting Paige’s head, “all in due time.”

***

The Dallas Wings media room is buzzing, reporters desperate to ask Paige questions and the blonde tries to maintain a smile despite the fact that her heart is lurching in her throat right now. Her opening speech had been short and sweet, parroting basically the same thing that had gone out on her social media the night before; she’d been desperate to just get it out. Generally, Paige is pretty good with the media, having been immersed in the spotlight since basically forever. The attention and how to maneuver it has always come naturally to her so she’s not sure why she feels so unnerved by it all today.  From the back of the media room, Ice sends her a thumbs up and a reassuring grin and Paige lets out a breath, glad to have at least that comforting presence with her. 

“Aidrian Ginsburger with Bleacher Report, Paige, you’ve obviously spent all of your career so far with the Wings, can you tell us a little bit about the impact this organization has had on you?”

Paige smiles at the question, letting her brain skim through pages and pages of fond memories she has of time spent with this team. It might be time to move on but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have plenty of cherished moments. 

“Yeah um- this place has really shaped who I am as a person. Since day one, the front office, obviously it’s a different one to the one I came in with, they did a lot to make sure that I was comfortable. My teammates through the years have been incredible and I wouldn’t be the player I am today without them. And of course the fans you know, they always showed out for the team, for me. Always supported me in anyways and I hope that I was able to give back the love to them that they always gave to me,” she says, suddenly nostalgic for the team that had started it all. 

The next questions are similar in nature and Paige’s answer varies only in words but not substance. She feels herself start to settle into it, now fielding the expected questions about the Wings and Valkyries with an air of confidence. There are a couple questions about Azzi that make her heart thump, but that was to be expected. It’s a pretty brilliant story in the making, two MVPs who used to play on the same college team coming together. Talia had warned Paige in advance that there was no avoiding it. But for the most part the questions have an easy answer about how Azzi’s a brilliant player and she’s excited to play with her old friend again. That is until a familiar hand shoots up and all the tension that had previously dissipated, comes roaring back with a vengeance. 

“Olivia Reynolds with the Dallas Morning News, Paige, as others have said today, you and Azzi Fudd played together at UConn and you were best friends.” Olivia’s eyes glint viciously, “I mean it’s pretty well documented how hard you tried to recruit her to UConn. But despite being best friends, the two of you have been never seen hanging out, outside of games and formal events, unlike your other teammates that is-”

“Is there a point to this?” Paige asks, hands fisting in her lap as she tries to keep herself calm. 

Olivia smiles, sugary sweet, “I was just wondering if maybe there was some tension and how that would affect your on-court chemistry at the Valkyries?”

“There’s no tension,” Paige lies through gritted teeth, “we didn’t hang out because we live far apart. There isn’t much else to it. And even if there was, Azzi and I are professionals. We wouldn’t let anything off the court affect our goal to win.”

“You lived far apart before UConn too, but that didn’t seem to stop you guys. What changed?” Olivia presses.

“Time did. Our lives did. There’s nothing sensational here. It’s just a case of two people drifting apart,” Paige says and the fabrication feels heavy on her tongue. If only it really had been that simple. 

“But clearly not that much,” Olivia says, and Paige glances at the moderator, desperate for an intervention, “there were plenty of fan pictures of the two of you out getting ice cream with Azzi’s daughter. It seems like you’re already fitting into that Bay Area life-”

“I’m not hearing a question at the end of your sentence,” Paige hisses and she can practically already hear the scolding she’s going to get from Talia once her agent gets wind of how this press conference had gone. The entire media cohort is watching the exchange with wide eyes, no doubt questioning whether they were embarrassed or impressed by their colleague. Ice is mouthing something to Paige, probably something along the lines of please keep your shit together, but Paige is steaming. Really, she should have expected this. 

“Well if you’d let me finish,” Olivia snarls, the façade of innocence dropping, “even if the two of you have drifted, as you put it, clearly there’s still a relationship there. How big of a role did Azzi Fudd play in your choice to move to the Valkyries?”

Paige sucks in a deep breath, nails digging into her palm at the question, “Azzi is the best shooting guard in the country. That was her role in my decision to move to the Valkyries. I don’t know what else you’re trying to imply, but I want to play with her because we play well together. That’s it,” she stands up and there’s pin drop silence, “thank you all for coming but we’re done with this press conference. 

***

Paige is seething as she exits the media room, Ice hot on her heels trying to calm her down. The sane part of her knows she should head back to the makeup room or even to her car, instead she finds her feet carrying her in the direction of where she knows Olivia Reynolds will be, reviewing her press conference notes by the coffee machine like she always is. 

“What the actual fuck was that?” Paige spits as she comes to a halt in front of the reporter. 

“I know you think playing basketball is the only job in the world Paige, but that was a reporter doing her job,” Olivia says, her calm and composed voice only furthering Paige’s irritation. 

“Bull-fucking-shit.” Paige sneers, “that wasn’t a reporter out there, that was my ex-wife grilling me like we were back in fucking divorce court.”

Olivia cocks her head, “oh so you do remember who I am to you then?”

“Oliv-”

“Because if you did remember, I’d like to think you’d have the courtesy to at least personally tell me that you were moving to your,” she drops her voice, “ex-girlfriend’s team instead of letting me find out with the rest of the world. You don’t think you owed me that?”

“That’s what this is about?” Paige sighs, “Olivia we’ve been divorced for almost three years now, I don’t owe you-”

“You didn’t owe Azzi anything either,” Olivia whisper-yells, the calm in her voice replaced by the same anger that had tainted the last year of their marriage, “but when we first started dating, you kept us a secret for months. You wouldn’t even tell your fucking teammates cause you were so scared she’d find out,” her eyes drift towards Ice who looks like she wishes she’d made a different decision rather than following Paige out here, “you said she deserved to hear it from you but apparently I don’t-’

“I didn’t mean it like that Olivia. Look, I meant what I said up there. There’s nothing between- ”

“Spare me,” Olivia says, as she stuffs her notepad into her bag, “you can lie to all those other reporters out there about how all of this is a basketball decision. You can even lie to yourself if you want. But you can’t lie to me, not when I spent four years fighting to keep our relationship from getting crushed under whatever it is that Azzi is to you.”

***

It doesn’t matter how far Paige burrows her head into her pillows, she can’t seem to stop herself from hearing Olivia’s words reverberating through her ears. The two of them had done well at co-existing in their social circles after the divorce had been finalized. While no one could quite call them friends, they’d done a good job at being friendly, being able to converse and share an occasional drink when in their combined friend group. And if Paige is honest, she knows she’s fucked up, knows she probably did owe Olivia a call. But calling Olivia would have meant calling someone who would inevitably make Paige face the truth, just like she had today. The truth that, even with the deal Talia had concocted with the Liberty hanging in the background like a dark presence, the move to the Valkyries was about a lot more than just basketball for Paige. 

She’s so entrenched in her thought that she doesn’t bother checking who it is when the facetime rings, irritation seeping into her voice as she answers it, face still buried in her pillows, “WHAT?”

“Miss Buecks?” a tiny voice comes through the phone and for a second, Paige thinks she must be dreaming, until she finally lifts her head to look at her phone, and Stephie’s small face lights up the whole screen. And it’s like she can feel little hands on her shoulders, slowly unknotting her tightened muscles. 

“Stephie,” she breathes out, a sudden sense of serene calm washing over her previously tense body. 

“Hi Miss Buecks,” Stephie says happily before she squints at the screen, “you sleep weird.”

Paige laughs, “and why’s that?”

“You’re not wearing pajamas and it’s only seven. ‘Dults don’t sleep at seven,” Stephie says matter-of-factly. 

“It’s actually nine here,” Paige says, a little surprised by the time; she hadn’t realized she'd been moping in her bed for that long. Ice had forced her to get lunch together, not wanting to leave Paige alone after the encounter with Olivia. Once she’d finally gotten back to her apartment, Paige had flopped on her bed, taking out her frustrations on her poor pillow. 

“That’s not poss-ble,” Stephie scrunches her face, “Mama’s phone says it’s seven.”

“It’s seven in California, it’s nine in Texas,” Paige tries to explain though by the way Stephie’s looking at her, she thinks she’s probably just confusing the girl more, “how’d you figure out how to call me babe?”

Stephie gives her an exasperated look, “Miss Buecks I’m five. I know how to use facetime.”

“And does your Mama know you're facetiming me?” Paige asks, eyebrows raised.

“She’s in the shower,” Stephie whispers, grinning sheepishly. 

As if on cue, Azzi appears on the corner of the screen and Paige feels her mouth run dry. The darker skinned woman is clad in a light pink fluffy bathrobe that ends right above her knees, giving Paige the perfect view of her long, toned legs that seem to shimmer despite the shitty quality of the facetime. Rivulets of water cling to her neck, delicately cascading down the valley of her breasts before disappearing from sight. And Paige must be dehydrated because never has she wanted to taste a drop of liquid more than she does right now. 

“Stephie,” Azzi groans, as she walks towards the phone and Paige gulps, heart beating faster with every step the other woman takes, everything about her becoming clearer and clearer, “what did I say about using my phone.”

“Only in em-a-gencies,” Stephie recites, “but Mama I had an em-a-gency.”

Azzi tilts her head, eyebrows raised as she gives her daughter a knowing look, “and what was your emergency?”

“I really, really, really, this much” Stephie stretches out her hands as far as they’ll go,  really, really, really, miss Miss Buecks.”

Paige feels her heart flutter. Stephie’s words feel like a hand carefully pulling her out from under the pile of stress she’d been buried under the whole day. It’s like the little girl is pushing away the rubble pressing against her lungs, turning the rocks into dust with a light touch and Paige feels like she can finally breathe. 

“Sounds like a pretty big emergency to me,” she says, relishing the way Stephie’s face lights up at the admission, “cause I really, really, really miss you too Steph.”

“See Mama,” Stephie says, placing the phone against a wall so can place her hands on her hips and look up at Azzi with a pleased smirk. 

Azzi rolls her eyes before glaring at Paige, “you’re a bad influence on her.”

“I’m the best influence on her,” Paige argues, sending Stephie a conspiratorial wink, “just you wait Az, I’mma teach her all the good things.”

Something unreadable flashes across Azzi’s face before she’s back to looking at Paige with an unimpressed arched eyebrow, “I am not letting you corrupt my daughter Paige Bueckers.”

“We’ll see,” Paige says slowly and Azzi shakes her head before turning to Stephie. 

“Alright Stephie bean time to go brush your teeth. It’s almost bedtime babes,” she says with a stern look 

“But Mama-”

“No arguing, you have school tomorrow missy,” Azzi reminds the little girl and Paige can’t help but marvel at the mother that Azzi’s become. And it makes her heart ache for the fantasies she’d dreamed of when she was in her early twenties. She’d always known Azzi would be a great mother; Paige had just naively thought she’d be there alongside her too. 

“Can Miss Buecks stay on the phone till I fall asleep?” Stephie asks, peering up at Azzi with big doe eyes, “please Mama pleeeease.”

“I’m sure Miss Buecks has other things-”

“I don’t,” Paige cuts in far too enthusiastically, clearing her throat to get back some semblance of restraint as both mother and daughter turn to look at each other, “I don’t have anything to do tonight so I can stay till you fall asleep Stephie.”

“YAYY,” Stephie cheers enthusiastically while Azzi studies her with a weary look, “I’m gonna go brush my teeth and then you can read me, my story Mama.”

With that, the little girl runs in the direction of what Paige can only assume is the bathroom, skipping with childlike joy as she sing-songs about something Paige can’t quite make out. 

“You know you don’t have to say yes to everything she asks right?” Azzi says slowly as she grabs her phone and sits on the couch. 

Paige shrugs, “I have time to stay.”

“Do you?” Azzi asks skeptically, “because from what I heard the Wings are having a little farewell party tonight, for you.”

Paige narrows her eyes, “and how exactly did you hear that?”

“I have connections.”

“You talked to Ice.”

“I talked to Ice,” Azzi concedes, “and I’m pretty sure you’re already an hour or so late for it.”

“Exactly. I’m already an hour late so why bother,” Paige says, sitting up so she can rest head against her headboard, “why were you talking to Ice?”

“I can’t talk to my friend?” Azzi asks slowly. 

“Of course you can but why specifically today?” Paige presses 

Azzi bites her lip, “I um- I watched your press conference today. You uh-” she averts her gaze, “you seemed really stressed at the end and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

A soft grin upturns Paige’s lips before she can stop it, “were you worried for me Fudd?”

“That’s not-” Azzi groans, “shut up.”

Paige smirks, “you were worried for me.”

“I was concerned for my future teammate," Azzi huffs, “besides,” her face hardens, “she was way out of line.”

Paige sighs at the implied mention of Olivia, “maybe but maybe I deserved it.”

“No you didn’t,” Azzi protests and that oh so familiar protective tone in her voice carves itself into every crevice of Paige’s heart, “no one deserves to be put on the spot like that. She was being unethical trying to dig into your personal life like that.”

“This is nice,” Paige says softly, unable to help herself. 

“What is?” 

“Seeing you get all defensive over me. It's nice to see you still care. I didn’t know if you still did.”

Azzi’s quiet for a second, gnawing at her bottom lip as she looks at Paige, “I’ve always cared Paige. And-” she hesitates as the tightrope beneath them wavers, “I’m always gonna care.”

There’s years worth of unsaid words lingering in the silence between them as they breach some unspoken rule they’d both inadvertently agreed to. And they both know that they shouldn’t be saying things like this to each other, that they’re teetering on the edge of falling into an abyss that has nothing but destruction at the bottom. But Azzi’s words feel like sunshine, like heat waves across her skin and Paige is so tired of feeling cold. 

Before either of them can say another word, Stephie comes back into the room, crawling into Azzi’s lap.

“I’m back,” she beams, completely unaware of the way the two adults are scrambling to act normal around her. 

“Here baby,” Azzi hands the phone to Stephie, “take Miss Buecks to your room. Mama’s gonna go change and then she’ll come read to you okay?”

“‘Kay Mama,” Stephie complies, pressing a soft kiss to Azzi’s cheek before running towards her room. For a second Paige’s screen is blurred in motion until Stephie fixes her again and Paige catches a glimpse of Stephie’s room, specifically the walls that are painted the perfect shade of Valkyrie purple. 

“I love your walls Stephie,” she compliments.

“They’re pu-ple,” Stephie exclaims, “that’s my favorite color.”

“First the ice-cream, now the color, you’re stealing all of my favorites kid,” Paige teases but she’s secretly pleased by this revelation. It’s dangerous how fast Stephie’s starting to whittle down Paige’s walls and build herself a permanent shelf in Paige’s cabinet of my people. 

“Can I tell you a secret Miss Buecks,” Stephie whispers, bringing her lips closer to the phone. 

Paige smiles, “of course you can.”

“I think Mama misses you too,” Stephie says softly and Paige feels her heart catch in her throat, “I heard her tell Nanna on the phone.”

“Can I tell you a secret Stephie?” Paige lowers her voice, leaning into her phone. 

“‘Course you can Miss Buecks.”

Paige swallows as the admission falls from her lips, “I really miss your Mama too.”

I miss her always and I think I’ll miss her forever. 

“What are you the two of you whispering about,” Azzi’s voice cuts in as she tucks herself next to Stephie, a children’s book in her hand. 

“Nothing Mama,” Stephie says immediately, winking at Paige through the phone. 

“Yeah,” Paige echoes, ignoring her erratic heartbeat, “nothing Azzi.”

Azzi looks between the both of them, clearly aware she’s being left out of something, but doesn’t push further. Instead she flips open the book, pulls Stephie closer into her arms and starts reading. If anyone were to ask Paige later, she wouldn’t have the faintest idea about a single word in that damn book. Because as Azzi’s soothing voice begins to lull Stephie to sleep, and the younger girl, despite her yawns, holds the phone up so the blonde can be included in every second of it, Paige feels herself being pulled into a dream she has no right to dream. She dreams of being in Stephie’s purple bedroom. She dreams of her and Azzi lying against Stephie’s lilac bedspread, their hands entwined in the middle over Stephie’s little body. She dreams of a forever that she’d long forsaken.

[ukulelevillainwrites]

who follows the rules anyway?

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9

complete

pairing : anthony lockwood x she/her reader

word count : 3.4k

notes : with this part the plot actually takes off, more will happen in part 3 obviously i'm just getting started ;)

The following day they met again at the client’s house to take care of the final details. They explained that the clock was the source and that they had to get rid of it for the haunting to cease. She simply needed to open the case and they would be on their way. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as easy as it should have been.

“This clock has been in my family for generations. I don’t care what you say, you are not taking this heirloom to be burned among other rubbish.” Mrs. Overton was very upset. She didn’t want to hear any advice given and categorically refused to open the case.

“I understand your disappointment Madam, but if you want your house to be safe again, I really don’t see any other solution.” Mrs Dufour explained.

The conversation had been lasting for hours. Well, metaphorically at least. It really had been 15 minutes, but hearing a client complain about the source wasn’t what y/n liked about her job.

“What if you got display cases made out of silver glass?”

All eyes turned to her.

“Maybe we could find a compromise, we keep your clock while you install new displays and put it back once everything is made safe. That way you can still enjoy your family’s history without the creeping fear. Would that be possible Mrs. Dufour?”

“I don’t think-”

“That is an excellent idea!” Mrs. Overton exclaimed.

“But Mrs. Overton I’m not sure it could be that simple. I really think you should consider giving up your clock.” Mrs. Dufour objected.

“I’d rather keep it. Hopefully you oversee young people with practical solutions! You should listen to them.”

Kipps and Bobby had smiles on their faces, but Mrs. Dufour glared in her direction.

They agreed on a date to bring back the clock, signed a few papers and soon after the team was on its way back to the Fittes headquarters.

“You did a great job keeping our client satisfied today y/n. I’m really impressed.” Kipps said.

“Th- Thank you. That means a lot.” She looked down at her feet, she felt incredibly intimidated. Somehow, she still wasn’t used to receiving that many compliments. She finally got those four words she had waited a month to hear. Her dream of taking on more responsibilities was getting closer, she could feel it.

“Miss y/n, could I have a word with you?”

Her happiness was cut short. Was she really in trouble because she tried to keep a client happy with their service?

“Your behavior today was extremely disrespectful. Contradicting a supervisor in front of a client is beyond unprofessional. What image of the Fittes organization does it send? I hope you won’t do this again.”

“I was just trying to keep Mrs. Overton satisfied. But I understand.” She tried to remain civil. But really she had a hard time not rolling her eyes.

“Good. Now I must leave, I have another appointment.”

“I can take the clock back to Fittes’ if you want. It’s where we’re headed anyway.”

“Thank you but it won’t be necessary.”

“Really it’s no trouble at all.”

“I’ll take care of it myself, no need to insist. Good day.”

What a nice and pleasant person. Clearly if she considered this insubordination, she must have had her hands full when she had to supervise George. As she thought about him, she noticed how insistent she was on bringing the clock back herself. Especially if she had another meeting before…

---

“You should break into her office too.”

“Haha very funny. Will you ever stop making fun of George? He really was worth knowing if you gave him a shot. You shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss him.” she told El.

“I’m not joking. If he’s such a great guy maybe, he was onto something. And her behavior with you was in fact very suspicious.”

“I think I might be reading into some things. I was tired, I’m probably not even remembering it right. Plus, it would serve me right if I got caught and ended up like George. How am I supposed to become a higher up in the Fittes organization with that on my record?”

“Yes, but you don’t see the bigger picture. If you expose her activities, you get all the praise and move up the ladder even faster.”

They couldn’t be serious. How could they even offer to do this? On the other hand, she was very curious to see what Mrs. Dufour could be hiding.

“There’s no way I’m doing this.”

“I wouldn’t let you do this alone! I’ve got your back. I would be on the lookout; you take five minutes inside her office and you come out without being seen. It’s no big deal. And if she is at a meeting right now chances are she won’t be back for hours. Now’s our chance!”

She considered their offer. How could she even think about doing this? But if she didn’t find anything, it would put to rest her suspicions. And if they did find something, it would benefit her in every way possible.

“Okay let’s go right now. But I’m only staying inside for two minutes, non-negotiable.”

“As you wish.”

They located the office easily. It was on the first floor, second office on the left after the elevators. It was lunch time, everything was quiet. y/n couldn’t believe she was actually doing this. Her mind dissociated from her body. It went totally blank and watched as her fingers methodically picked the lock to Mrs. Dufour’s office. El stayed outside to warn her if someone came nearby. She entered the room with determination, trying to remain calm. Her heart was beating atrociously fast. What was she doing? As she stared at the desk in front of her she realized she had no idea what she was looking for. A source from another case that hadn’t been burned maybe? She opened a first drawer, and a second, a third… Nothing. That was such a bad idea. She had to leave. Now. As she turned around the door slammed. Oh no. Was Mrs. Dufour back already? Would El be able to distract her long enough for her to exit discreetly?

“I heard her mumble something about sources being stolen and suspicious behaviors, I didn’t catch all of it but it sounded like nonsense.”

That was El’s voice. What were they doing? She heard steps coming her way. She needed to hide. As she stepped behind a coat hanger near the door, Mrs. Dufour entered the room.

“Miss y/n, I know you are in here. Come out. Right. Now.”

She was holding her breath. There was no escape. She took a step forward. El was standing next to Mrs. Dufour. But they didn’t look panicked. In fact, they were smiling.

“I can’t believe this is the second agent I find here illegally this week. Between your behavior this morning and your break-in, insubordination isn’t enough to describe your insolent attitude.”

No words came out of her mouth. The shock she felt froze her in place.

“You are of course fired, that goes without saying. You can collect your things, I want you gone by the end of the day.”

“I’ll walk her out.” El said, a proud look on their face.

This wasn’t happening. It was just another vivid dream that merged with reality. She was going to wake up in her bed, the sun slowly rising in her window, and none of this would have happened. This could not be the end of her career. Her dream could not be crumbling in front of her eyes in just an instant, to be replaced with a horrific nightmare instead. No this wasn’t real.

“I can’t believe you followed me that easily to be honest.”

She looked up at El, tears now starting to blur her vision. She could only frown.

“But I guess when you’re that naïve and gullible you can’t possibly be qualified to be a supervisor. People like you shouldn’t be put in charge at all to be honest. I’ll never understand why you of all people were selected to be on Kipps’ team. Well now I guess there’s a spot open.” They said with a wink.

She shoved her “friend” aside.

“You betrayed me to get my job?”

“I would say I was smart and did my job correctly, betray makes me sound like a villain.”

y/n had shared a room with El for the past 4 months, she had grown to like them. Of course they were close, they basically lived together. Trust was part of the deal. How could she ever sleep next to that person again? Oh. Right. She wouldn’t have to. As of now she didn’t have a job and didn’t have a place to live either. She would be kicked out of the Fittes housing. She needed to get out, to walk, to breathe. She felt the walls closing in on her, she couldn’t breathe.

She rushed back to her room, tears streaming down her face. She opened her suitcase and bags, filled them with her stuff without taking the time to fold anything. She had to get out of here fast, she couldn’t look El in the eyes. She didn’t want to see their face at all. How could they have pretended for so long, putting on phony smiles and cheering at her success when really they just planned on replacing her one way or another? What did she do to deserve their hate? Was she really the problem? Maybe El was right. Maybe she was too naïve to ever be successful. Maybe she had brought this on herself.

She put on her backpack, took her rapier and her suitcase and exited the room. As she closed the door, El was coming back.

“I see you can’t get out fast enough. Good for you. Enjoy the night watch!” They had an arrogant smirk across their face.

She dropped her luggage, took one step closer and punched her dear friend in the face. They brought their hand up to stop the bleeding and looked at her with pure hatred in their eyes.

“Enjoy the broken nose!”

----

That helped relieve some tension. But she still felt like shit. What was she going to do? She couldn’t just go back home. Her parents would be so disappointed. Not because of the career but because she got fired. And because of the reason why she got fired. She was so ashamed of herself. How could she do something so stupid?

She wandered the streets of London, luggage in hand, for hours, lost in thought and mostly beating herself up. Aside from her life falling apart it was a beautiful day. The leaves were starting to change color, the light was still warm and golden. A fresh breeze rustled her hair as she crossed the street. She had no idea where she was going. She didn’t know that part of London well. She had passed Mayfair at least 15 minutes ago and was now in a more residential part of the city. The white houses had lavender at their balconies and most of them had an iron gate in front of the stairs that led to their door. The neighborhood was quiet and everything was still except for two crows hopping around at the end of the street. She was staring into space when a sudden loud noise made her jump. It was a malfunctioning ghost lamp that had went off even though curfew wasn’t for another couple of hours. It made her look up and she saw a sign reading Portland Row. That sounded familiar. Where had she heard of that street before? Wasn’t George living nearby? What was the number he had told her… 45? No, 35. She could always pay him a visit. It’s not like she had any place to be.

She hesitated. He would probably laugh at her. Though the situation was ridiculous. At least she would make someone smile. And she would get a cup of tea before wandering some more for the whole night. She looked for the number 35 and saw the sign across the street. She stared at the house for a while. She felt nervous for some reason. She looked at herself in a car window. She looked like a mess. Her hair was tangled, her eyes swollen from crying so much. George would probably take pity on her. That was so embarrassing. But given how her day was going she didn’t really care anymore.

As she opened the iron gate, she noticed a wooden sign that read “A. J. Lockwood & Co. Investigators”. The name didn’t ring a bell. The sign looked brand new. She vaguely remembered George mentioning a friend he was working with, but it didn’t look like she had met them before.

She felt lost. She wanted to run away, her shame growing with every step she took towards the door. It was almost unbearable. Burying herself into the woods in the middle of nowhere sounded more appealing suddenly. She forced her hand to knock on the door. She waited a few seconds that felt like hours. After a minute she figured they might be out. She turned around, ready to leave. This was a terrible idea. It was getting rid of the last tiniest bit of dignity she still had. As she stepped back one step the door suddenly opened.

“Hello, welcome to Lockwood & Co. Do you have an appointment?”

She turned around, surprised by the voice behind her.

“H-Hi George…”

“y/n? I didn’t expect you to come by so soon.” He looked at her and realized she didn’t look as proper as she’s used to. “Are you okay?”

“Not really if I’m being honest. Could I come in?”

“Of course, yes please”

He showed her inside.

“I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“Don’t worry it’s a slow day, I was just cleaning the kitchen.”

The hallway felt welcoming and seemed traditional at first. But as she walked deeper into the house, she noticed the masks hanging on the walls, the rapiers in the umbrella stand, the ancient weaponry on the shelves. The atmosphere was homely but also unsettling. It wasn’t unpleasant or threatening though. She felt strangely at ease.

They settled in a living room with the same atmosphere as the hallway. He brought her some tea and doughnuts she felt really grateful for.

“So, do you wanna talk about what happened to you? You clearly look like you’ve had a rough day.”

“I got fired from Fittes.” She blurted out. There. She’d said it out loud. It was official. George opened round eyes and looked at her in total disbelief. As he was about to say something she added

“For the same reason you got fired.”

George stared at her. His eyes couldn’t get any wider. They looked at each other for several minutes. After what felt like an hour George burst out laughing. y/n quickly followed. She relieved all the tension and stress she had been accumulating today. They laughed, laughed and laughed until they were out of breath.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Unfortunately, I am.” She said wiping a tear. At least this one wasn’t from sadness or anger.

“But what? How?” He could barely articulate full sentences.

She told him the full story. How she hadn’t believed anything he had told her. How Mrs. Dufour’s behavior had been strange. How she got talked into breaking the rules. How she was betrayed. How stupid and gullible she felt. How guilty she felt. For once it was her turn to talk. George found himself on the other side and listened closely to the whole thing.

“You really go all out when you break the rules.”

This threw them into another fit of laughter. At this moment, they heard the front door close.

“Hey George, sounds like you’re having fun. Who’s your friend?”

She turned around to look at the guy who had just entered. Her smile dropped. Could this day get any worse? Standing in front of her was the most arrogant and pretentious guy she had ever had the displeasure of meeting.

He took a step forward, putting out his hand as he said

“I’m Anthony Lockwood, pleasure to meet you. You must be y/n, George told me you would be stopping by.”

She stared at him; her anger rekindled. She didn’t shake his hand and simply waited, remaining perfectly still. After a few seconds he casually took a seat in a sofa opposite the couch she was sitting on.

“You look familiar, have we met before?”

She couldn’t believe him. Of course he didn’t remember. If the doughnuts hadn’t been that good, she would have gotten up and left without looking back. But she was desperately hungry, and she wasn’t so eager to spend the night wandering the streets of London with no place to go.

“You might have seen me around near Fittes, but I don’t think we’ve met.” She answered politely. He looked at her with a strange intensity, his expression briefly unreadable before changing into a complaisant smile. “It’s nice to finally meet George’s colleague.” She concluded.

“Well, more like his employer technically.”

For heaven’s sake. She mustered all the self-control she had left to not roll her eyes. She forced a smile, but it looked cold and stiff. The room fell silent, but it was probably for the best.

“So how are things going over at Fittes?” Lockwood asked her. He was trying to start the conversation again but there was a certain disdain in his tone that she didn’t appreciate.

George shot her a glance before turning insistent eyes towards Lockwood. It was sweet how considerate he was trying to be.

“Not that great actually since I was fired a few hours ago.” She said in a nonchalant tone.

“Oh… I’m sorry to hear that.” He looked at his shoes, avoiding eye contact. “Having heard you laugh so much I expected a much happier context.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“No, I didn’t mean-” He stopped mid-sentence. He looked defeated and just drank his tea in silence.

George turned towards her.

“So what are you gonna do now?”

“I haven’t got the slightest idea…” She admitted. “Maybe wandering the streets of London tonight will inspire me.”

“You don’t have a place to stay?” George asked, a certain worry in his voice.

“All the trains were booked, so I couldn’t go back home.” She lied. She didn’t want to admit that she was scared to tell her family about her situation. “I could always find a hotel I guess.”

“Don’t bother, you can stay with us tonight. Right, Lockwood?”

“Um, sure. I have an extra room in the attic.”

Fantastic. That was just what she needed. To stay even longer in his company.

“I really don’t want to impose. I’m sure you’ll be better off without me.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, it’s just one night. It’s the least I can do after putting those ideas about Mrs. Dufour in your head. It’s all my fault really.”

“Why would you say that?” Lockwood asked, intrigued.

“I sort of got fired for the same reason he did.” She admitted. She couldn’t help the shy smile that appeared on her face. She genuinely wanted to laugh at herself.

Lockwood laughed at the situation too. He looked at her with a charming smile but she felt like he was laughing at her for being so naïve.

“Rule number one around George is to do the exact opposite of what he does.”

“I had my reasons for acting like this. I wasn’t blindly imitating him, she was being suspicious.” She said defensively.

“Maybe next time, or at least if there is a next time, don’t let George’s wild theories get to you.” He said with a wink. There was another face she wanted to punch.

She took a deep breath to keep her urges under control. Giving in to anger would only get her kicked out and then she would really be wandering the streets all night. She could always find another plan tomorrow but for now she needed to eat and to sleep soundly. The day had been exhausting.

[the-banana-0verlord]

Answer some or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

Alright, ill try lmao

1.no, i dont have freckles!

2. I WISHED i found Coffee and tea good because its so aesthetic but it tastes bad imo

3. I checked my spotify and its girls just wanna have fun by cyndi lauper so i suppose its that

4.i move a lot but i usually end up on my side.

5. I move too much to sleep with a lot of them because they always end up on the floor. Although i do sleep with my malleus plushie.

6. Thats a hard one, because i do both. Though i think of writing as my primary hobby/eventual job, i definitely have more fun drawing(until art Block comes knocking that is)

7.depends on the thickness. Right now i have three eith two being thin and one being medium, but i could sleep with one really thick one.

8. Mitski!!! I love her so much. Otherwise I like mother mother and marina

9.the third of november!

10. 154 cm or 5 feet. No that is not short

11. Blue-grey-kaki. I like to think of them as blue.

12. All my mutuals, all my irls, my mom, my dad, and my little sister

13. Abandonnent, failure, the future in general.

14. Yellow and light blue!

15.fall! Its so pretty

16. Im not sure yet but i can maybe have someday a small tattoo. Im not a fan of qhoel body tattoos for myself.

17. Well my ears a pierced but im not gonna get more.

18. My two irls! Talking about not getting neuvillette in gneshin ;-;(and murder)

19. I dont have a best friend per se, although i do have a closest friend. Weve been friends for at least three years(already? Damn)

20. Honestly i miss my first mutual on here. I hope they come back soon ;-;

21. It just started but its been pretty good up til now!

22. About 9-10 hours?

23. I mean, there is bound to be other forms of life in space, just thousands of lightyears away.

24. Monday cause my friend said she didnt think we were friends.

25. Id say 1890 to 1900? Though the living conditions were meh i like the aesthetic

26. Generally being silly ig? I suppose i act childihs as a comic relief.

27. Currently my favorite book(s) is the Truly Devious series by Maureen Johnson! It's been clawing it's way into my brain.

28. I'm actually doing quite fine. I'm a bit stressed since i'm going to boston soon but i can push out the bad thoughts!

29. I usually procrastinate decisions as far as possible. If it's a small one maybe like 2 minutes but if it's bigger ones it'll take longer(with the answer being no a lot)

30. Something i'm dreading but also am excited for is summer! Bye school but hello summer job ;-;

31. My irls and i(can i really call them irls? i met only two of them irl and once or twice. anyways-) are planning a roadtrip after we're all 18(aka in a bit more than 4 years)!

32. Either my friend's (irls+ moots) houses or in paris. I've always wanted to see paris.

33.open, my cats need to be free to walk in and out!

34. sunflowers and roses(i have a list on the meaning of each rose color) daisies are also cute.

35. i...guess? i own a banana shaped stress ball(that is very dirty i dont use it much) but idk if it counts as a squish.

36. yes, almost more than my first name. although my first and second name are kinda in the same name. it's like first name-second name.

37.cats!!! I have two(named chicken nugget and nebraska)(my family also owns dogs but oh well)

38. I'm a bit scared of heights but i wouldn't say i have a phobia

39. i usually go to sleep at 10:30 pm on weekdays, and 11:00-11:00 on weekends(when i don't have to wake up early due to sunday class)

40.Although i haven't been to a real beach a lot, i like it! And i always prefer sunny days so sun it is(to experience sunset on a beach... must be the dream)

41. I'd say the owl house! It's so colorful with two of my main kins.

42. @xen-blank @thehollowwriter @quartztwst @boopshoops @saionjeans (so sorry for the tag non-moots! Also i would've included all my moots but it said five ;-;)

43. Yes, i have five siblings! One oldest sister, two older brother, a little brother and the baby of the family, my little sister. i have middle child syndrome.

44. Either my mom or my little sister. I hug and say i love you to them very often. Or i said it to malleus last. One of them.

45. Tbh i have no idea in which circomstances i would die for something. maybe if i could trade my life with someone's close to me. or for peace on earth idk.

46. a big ol hug from my malleus plushie. it's a real emotional support.

47. no i have not. or maybe i did. i will probably forget it soon.

48. my two parents absolutely.

49."I wish to expérience it someday" (speaking of old lady gossip)

50. can i send you the same questions? :3

[mayariviolet]

Hello Team, I have been obsessively following this fanfiction written by the @spiteless-xo for MONTHS! I commented on a couple of songs, and home girl said one day, we'll have a playlist, and I am here to deliver. Also, shout out to @shepnicolo. Please go check out their playlist. It's amazing, heart-wrenching, etc.

Link to The Boys at Work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44843530/chapters/112829014

As inspired by @shepnicolo I decided to give explanations to each song <3.

NOTE: Basically, this playlist follows chapter by chapter a character's inner monologue as well as fitting into the situation

Yeah, this is the playlist cover I made; what about it?

Side A:

"Dinner and Diatribes" - "I knew it from the first look of mischief in your eyes. Your friends are a fate that befell me. Head is a talking tide. I'd suffer Hell if you'd tell me what you'd do to me tonight."

reader x eren meet for the first time in a club and are literally so horned up that they immediately fall into their own self-destruction just to sleep together. Also, this song is a good introduction to their relationship up until the third arc IMO. I pictured this song mostly from Eren's perspective because he literally is so infatuated with reader that he does not care about anyone else around him.

2. "A Night to Remember" - "I swore I'd seen you before. Underneath the sheets, you enchanted me and whispered sweet nothings in my ear."

Readers' pov of sleeping with Eren bc who wouldn't want to imagine sleeping with Eren also, they LITREALLY slept together after like 24 hours. And Eren would not stop whispering those sweet nothings to reader trying to get them to be obsessed with him (it worked)

3. "The Party & The After Party" - "High heel shoes make you six feet tall. Everybody wants you; you can have them all."

In chapter three, I pictured this song switching between Jean and Eren's perspectives after the truth or dare game. It was mostly Eren because he was doing the absolute MOST during that game. Also, Jean literally being so insecure and jealous that this chapter is so Abel-coded.

4. "D.D" - "I've been here times before, but I was too Blind to see that you seduce every man. This time, you won't seduce me."

Dirty Diana could be either Reader x Eren or Jean x Pieck, depending on your feelings. Pieck is more of the embodiment of D.D., considering she was trying so hard to seduce Jean (lowkey worked, though...) Eren x Reader did sleep together, though so #win

5. "Dress" - "Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me"

The foreshadowing here hehe... ifykyk (see the bathroom scene in chapter 3)

6. "Kill Bill" - "I'm so mature, I'm so mature, I got me therapist to tell me there's other men, but I don't want none, I just want you."

Reader is insane, and this is how I pictured what she was thinking when Pieck crashed her lunch date...

7. "Double Take" "You're my vice, you're my muse"

Hmm this song read to me as Jean to the reader especially since the whole song goes back and forth between liking someone as a friend but that 'what if' that lingers in the background.

8. "Die For You - Remix" - "Even though we're goin' through it, and it makes you feel alone (no, no), Just know that I would die for you."

Eren doesn't know it yet, but he does act like he would die for the reader (especially in all of the scenes @ the point). Also, the reader is so attached to venting to Eren is crazy to me like she is obsessed no matter what she says...

9. "The Morning- "All that money, the money is the motive"

I thought of the chapter where Eren comforts the reader about everything at work. Yes, I know money isn't her only motivation (mostly pride), but having financial security is just a metaphor for her lack of security in her relationships. She works like she has something to prove to Eren and Jean and herself.

10. "Talk"- "I won't deny I've got in my mind now (hey, yeah) all the things I would do. So I try to talk refined for fear that you find out (hey, yeah) How I'm imagining you."

Eren has to control himself around the reader so he doesn't freak her out with how badly he wants her is just so <3. HE IS TRYING TO CHANGE TEAM!

11. "Work Song" -"Nothing in her room but an empty crib."

Ifykyk (the end of Eren Fucking Yeager). Like y'all know damn well Hozier wasn't talking about a room he was talking about her pu- and Eren furnished that room with a crib TWICE

12. "The Hills" - "When I'm fucked up, that's the real me, babe...Who are you to judge?"

This song encapsulates the end of Eren x Readers' relationship, especially in the chapter 'Shameless' when the reader calls out Eren's shitty behaviour and the fiasco that occurs after pushing her to Jean. This song (to me) directly challenges the reader to start thinking about who is she to judge in all of their interactions with Eren and Jean?

13. "Super Rich Kids" - "Too many white lies and white lines...I'm searching for a real love."

This is an obligatory Frank Ocean song for Jean because he starts telling the reader his true feelings. His life as a rich kid has been fulfilling, but at what cost? He only had vapid interactions with those around him until he grew up later.

14 "Stargirl Interlude" - "I shouldn't cry, but I love it Starboy"

it's a sex song. But the tone completely shifts after this. Looking at it deeper reader knows that being with Jean shouldn't feel like constantly crying or in pain. Jean (who is so Abel-coded) knows this which we can see in the lyric where The Weeknd says "I just want to see you shine 'cause you know you are a star girl".

------------------------

this is the mixtape cover i made btw <3 thank u canva!

Side B:

15. "Fire and Desire" - "Tell me should I cut these other girls out of my life cause we never decided"

These two (I am including Star Girl interlude) are together because they (Jean x Reader) are both. so. horny. But the fact they literally cannot decide what they are is so infuriating (but way too realistic trust me I know). So horny sex music and sad yearning for them both.

16. "Easy"- "Love don't come easy, it don't come easy"

This song captures the conversation between Eren and Armin, especially when Armin tells Eren that all his feelings are valid but complicated and that love doesn't come easy. Also translates to how frustrating it is for reader to prove to Jean that she loves him, they're both realizing that it's hard to love.

17. "Feelings" - "I over-communicate and feel too much. I just complicate it when I say too much."

Literally reader being so overwhelmed with everything and turning to sex in order to communicate how she's feeling is insane to me but no matter what she says to Jean it's never enough. Just really listen to the song... trust...

18. "Maroon" - "The burgundy on my t-shirt when you splashed your wine into me and how the blood rushed into my cheeks; so scarlet it was maroon."

This entire song is about Jean and readers break up. Especially how he always brings up Eren's shirt and the cheap wine being exchanged on their lips.

19. "Complicated" - "Tell me, why do you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you're acting like somebody else gets me frustrated"

Reader's inner monologue when is FINALLY AND RIGHTFULLY thinking about how Jean always complicates things (she is not entirely blameless obvi.) She is reflecting on whether or not this is. the same Jean she's been friends with for years.

20. "Broken Clocks" - "I've paid enough of petty dues. I've had enough of shitty news"

I really appreciated the readers' mental health arc. <3 Like YAS try not to pay attention to these bums girl and fix yourself! Even though she becomes self-destructive again. True SZA energy.

21. "Unknown / Nth" - "Do you know, I could break beneath the weight Of the goodness, I still carry for you. That I'd walk so far just to take the injury of finally knowing you."

Andrew, how is the reader supposed to sha la la in these trying times? Anyway, this song is Jean thinking about how much he loves the reader and that because he knows her so well, he KNOWS how much he can hurt her. Also, it could be read from the perspective of Eren, loving reader to the point he steps back from her so that she is happy. (Especially the latest chapter where he says he would have still fallen for her in university and he thinks that she would still love him either way </3)

22. "Godspeed" - "Still, I'll always be there for you, I let go of my claim on you..."

JEAN SAYING TO EREN THAT HE CAN HAVE READER, AND BOTH OF THEM ESSENTIALLY LETTING HER CHOOSE BY NOT TALKING TO HER, MADE ME SICK! THEY WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HER, BUT THEY CAN'T BE WHAT SHE NEEDS EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE WHO SHE WANTS </3

23. "Midnight Rain" - "All of me changed like midnight rain"

Okay, I know this is written from the perspective of a girl prioritizing her career over their relationship but this is so JEAN-coded! READER WANTED COMFORTABLE BUT HE WANTED THAT PAIN! He is a sick fuck.

24. "Bug Like an Angel" - "Sometimes. a drink feels like family."

The sparkling fruit wine that Reiner said was a cheap gift (a reflection of the shallow relationship reader x jean had). The back and forth between how reader drinks their coffee/tea and the loss and gain of familiarity. Yeah.

25. "Champagne Problems" - "How evergreen, our group of friends. Don't think we'll say that word again."

When there are two friend group breakups in this fan fic </3. Also, this song speaks for itself. Jean was never ready, so he had to watch the reader leave. Jean also has an ABDUNDANCE of champagne problems he has to sort out (hopefully soon, King).

26. "Tolerate It" - "I know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it."

The way Jean, no matter what he does, never openly celebrates readers' love is sick. She literally waits at the door for him to accept her love. No matter where she is, whatever circumstances, she idolizes him and waits on whatever he says, hoping he will outwardly say and do something that shows her that he loves her. </3

27. "Right Where You Left Me" - "And you're sitting in front of me. At the restaurant, when I was still the one you want... Everybody moved on."

Yeah, tell me that isn't reader literally yearning at the restaurant when Jean completely ignored her to stroke his ego with Pieck. He wanted her so badly but was so scared. Everyone moved on from that instance, but she felt like a part of her died. Even when he broke up with her in a heartless way, she stayed thinking about that situation.

28. "Francessca" - "Da-, Darlin', I would do it again (ah-ah, ah-ah) If I could hold you for a minute. Da-, Darlin' I'd go through it again."

LAST SONG!!! In my opinion, this is an accumulation of the reader, Jean and Eren's internal monologue. I think they would endure their ups and downs if it meant they could be together again. ESPECIALLY EREN!!! I mean, this song is based on that couple immortalized in Dante's Inferno who were put in hell for literally being in love.

Okay, if you have read this far, thank you. I love you. Thank you, @spiteless-xo, for giving me something to look forward to every Tuesday <3.

[linashirou]

Ok, as the poll was positive about it, I'll share MY HEADCANONS and MY LORE about Hal...

1.- Hal have a slightly Marfan syndrome. (He described himself in my one shot "look at me~!♥" )

"All my life I've been skinny. I've always had a rather delicate appearance than masculine. I'm not a man with a tanned, toned body like Snake, for example.

I'm rather flabby and my chest is slightly sunken due to my mild Marfan syndrome: flat and long feet, a slight scoliosis that luckily didn't worsen with the use of the PC since my early age, hands with long fingers, and vision problems. I was lucky that this wasn't so noticeable, and that I didn't have any problems with my internal organs, but it could have been much worse with my father's "genetic background".

Now that I'm 37, I consider this nothing compared to what could have really happened to me... I consider myself a completely healthy person" 2.- Older = Calmer. He has an obsessive compulsive disorder with tidiness. As we could clearly see in the Nomad in MGS4, his neat and clean desk, at his 30, he started to acquire a taste for order and doesn't feel at peace in an environment with a lot of chaos. He likes to read and being at home: "I'm rather... boring" 3.- Hard-worker. This is no secret if we think about how many "In-game hours" Hal is supporting Snake, but in "TEC" (Hal's fanfiction) He is quite careful when it comes to work: as a boss, he is an attentive and understanding boss, however he is quite easy to get on his nerves. He usually works a lot from home, programming; A short period in the evenings, but the main work is always done early in the mornings: this way he ensures a free afternoon to share with Snake/Sunny (and Lina♥). 4.- Mental gaps. Sometimes, due to the amount of information accumulated in his mind (and as a good otaku, with a lot of "Random" knowledge) Hal has lapses where he simply "crashes" or gives the impression of suffering "mental lags". But the truth is that he also has a lot of memories blocked in his mind, especially as a child, due to traumas. As a result, it is important to recognize... 5.- He knows (all) the truth about Huey. What things he did in DD and all the events that happened in MGSV (Confirmed by Chris in an old interview) (I don't want to go so deep in this point, because I have a complete chapter about this in Hal's Fanfic) But there is something, punctually, that Hal never knew: Where were the remains of his beloved mother?

6.- He have a sweet tooth. Do I need to explain?: * Sweet personality, like candies, snacks and sweet pastry= Good and Sweet boyfriend, father, and friend♥ 7.- He is nearsighted (Myopic). As I explained in another post, in MGS4 he showed that he could see most of the things around him without the glasses, but when Snake asked him when and where Naomi left, he replied "I don't know, I didn't see her. I was without my glasses."

8.- A concerned Father. Hal will always, always have Sunny first in his mind. He will always be concerned with trying to give Sunny all the tools at his disposal to ensure her well being and will always try to give her everything he didn't have in his childhood. (This includes thinking of Lina as a possible mother figure for Sunny, due to the absence of a mother figure in his own life (?)) (Although it is a sort of justification/self-conviction at a certain point).

9.- He's Gemini. He's birthday is a few more days than Lina's. And they do party together. 10.- He likes red-haired women... Just like Snake... (Or maybe is his way to share a taste with him... who knows...) (at least He said to Lina that he likes her more with red hair)

11.- He had some problems with an anckle

After twisting his left ankle in Shadow Moses and neglecting the sprain by moving around the base helping Snake, Hal was left with a sore ankle, adding to the awkwardness of his "naturally" stiff movements. Now in his 30's, he's sometimes just like grandpas, feeling a bit of discomfort with the cold weather; "Ah! it's going to rain… my ankle tells me so…"

12.- Common grounds with Lina: Common interests with Lina are: Anime (particularly Macross, works by Go Nagai, Sailor Moon), video games (fighting games and survival horror), and music from the 80s and 90s (specially Lina's favorite band, Jamiroquai).

And the last one... it's a little NSFW

13.- Softy but Pervy. Hal's personality quite mellow and needy for affection: As a complete inexperienced in his sentimental side, he is always looking for ways to get the attention of his loved ones, being quite demanding of his partner's attention. And although at times he can be a huge stalker (staring at erogenous zones, fantasizing, being a consumer of some "adult content" particularly Hentai) his fetishes have NO BDSM connotations (it is quite difficult for him to be a little rougher with Lina; for example, he can hardly " spank" or "pull her hair" Because of his own experience as an abused person in his youth.). He is rather soft, tender and affectionate, but he does have a certain fixation to latex, derived from his taste for Super Sentai series.

[makuta-tobi]

bored huh? do the prime numbers then

you think i won't? i will. i'll do it. no readmore cause nothing matters

2. Are you outgoing or shy? mostly shy until i get to know you, then i become a problem

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? no one in particular? i might get to see megatron and/or tahu this summer.....

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I don't drink but presumably, if she wasn't also drunk

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? i better be

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? mostly indifferent but it depends on how i'm feeling, often times it overstims me

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? to an extent

19. Do you like bubble baths? they're fine, but kinda boring i think

23. Do you have trust issues? not really? well, actually, maybe. feels like people are lying because there's no real effort to be engaging with me most the time but i'm always told "no we love to spend time with you" so yeah i guess

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? uhhh, i don't remember? probably not

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? i literally just cut it this morning, hair in the back is like 3/8" or something

37. What do you say during awkward silences? I don't, i usually just start swishing or kicking my feet and balling up my shirt

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? usually, but it depends on what they did, some things are beyond redemption. as a general rule, though, yeah

43. Do you smile at strangers? only if we accidentally make eye contact and they do it first, I'll mirror back

47. Have you ever been high? not afaik

51. Ever wished you were someone else? every day. like a specific person? i can't think of any individuals, but generally speaking? yeah

53. Favourite makeup brand? i don't really engage with it, so whatever is cheap and does what i need it for

57. Favourite food? teriyaki chicken and borger

59. First thing you ate this morning? s'mores cereal

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? nope, only major trouble I got into in school was in 8th grade when someone farted on the bus and i targeted by the driver for unrelated shit

67. Facebook or Twitter? lesser of two evils, personally, i'm picking facebook

71. Craving something? What? still thinking about how good a milkshake and/or iced coffee would hit right now

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? depends. normal nights there is at least 1 in the bed, but it's not mine, it's brandee's, and she cuddles with it. when i'm by myself on those rare occasions, then usually i do

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? black with a knockoff white riamu with neon green skeleton on her shirt

81. Favourite tv show? uhhhh loaded question, i'll go a safe route and say kamen rider

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? never seen mg2 so the original ig

87. First person you talked to today? brandee? no wait okay i opened discord, the first person i directly addressed today was jules the french person in a server i'm in

89. Name a person you hate? ohhhh that's also loaded, and most of the people I directly hate are dead right now, so for my sake i guess I'll say Jay Patton yes i'm putting the full name

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? see above I guess?

97. Favourite actor? oof, there are too many to recount currently

101. Do you type fast? maybe a little, certainly not as fast as i used to. i used to be a member of a clan on xat that focused on speed fighting to defeat our enemies and i had to train hard to get to that point

103. Can you spell well? as well as any other person I guess, i'm not bad at it

107. Have you ever been on a horse? a few times

109. Is something irritating you right now i have a headache that has persisted for several hours, and I'm just frustrated by being alone with nothing good to do while i hear brandee button mash and laugh with her friends in the other room

113. What was your childhood nickname? i can't really recall any that weren't just people mispronouncing my name, which is all too common, but i gave myself the name tobi in 8th grade and that has stuck

127. What makes you happy? good stuff? what makes anyone happy yk

129. What your zodiac sign? karkat piseces

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? in this moment, feel a bit flustered and say awww thanks but try to move through life as normal

137. How tall are you? 5'6"

139. Brunette or Blonde? no preference

149. Do you believe in ghosts? to an extent, not entirely certain how they manifest but there's...something

you can ask other questions if you want

[achairwithapandaonit]

Tag Game: Ten First Lines

Rules: Share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

tagged by @aobawilliams

1) Finny can’t get her words out of his mind even weeks later.

2) A detective is a person who investigates and solves crimes. A great detective is something more than that. They’re someone fantastical, right out of a novel, who sweeps into the scene and with just a look deduces everything.

3) The bento box weighs heavy in his hands. Izuku peeks inside to see hard boiled eggs, sliced cucumber, and octopus sausages. Stomach lurching, he’s quick to close the lid and set the container in the middle of the bench he’s sitting on, between himself and All Might. He folds the bento cloth carefully and puts it there too.

4) Time spent with the director is hard to find these days. It’s an hour of downtime at the agency spent lying upside down on the sofa in Fukuzawa’s office, the ends of his hair touching the floor and his feet hooked over the back of the sofa as he plays on his DS. It’s a long day, where Ranpo hangs around past closing time to accompany Fukuzawa back to his home uninvited. 

5) It’s hard to stitch up a wound one-handed. You can’t thread the needle by yourself, because you need one hand to hold the needle and another to hold the string, and once it’s threaded, you have to go as slow as you can, pushing the needle through flesh with as much precision and care as possible. Once that’s done, you can’t even tie the thread off by yourself.

6) Giyuu returns to him with slit pupils and blackened claws for nails. He stares at Urokodaki from just outside the temple grounds, eyes an ice cold glacier, body limp and still as if he is a spectre. Drool drips from his mouth, a low growl emits from his throat, and his fingers clench on nothing.

7) “What are you doing?”

8) Oda Sakunosuke can say with confidence that he has never met anyone as clever as Edogawa Ranpo before. His eyes see through everything and his brain works twice as fast as any other, making almost every situation one of boredom and frustration for him. With every job they accompany Fukuzawa on, Ranpo walks into the room and deconstructs would-be crimes like a starved dog catching its teeth on fresh meat.

9) The thing is, Shiho had always known. She’d been aware. Once she left the Organisation, she’d have nowhere else to be.

10) The warehouse he’s been lured to is dark and cavernous. A single sound can be projected across it in a second, like a gunshot in an empty room.

this is meant to be wips right and not posted?? anyway here u are. a lot of them aren't ones i have any interest in continuing (tho digging up that shiho one again has me salivating over the au like i wish so so hard it wasn't so hard to write. aoba you know what i'm talking about. i want it so bad but it's so hard). also rip to my longest current wip that makes me go the most insane having one sentence to open it (number 7, this is to you).

and umm like usual i won't tag anyone but anyone's welcome to take this as an opportunity to play the tag game

[ar-lath-ma-cully]

Dandelion Wine quote prompts

1. “Bees do have a smell, you know, and if they don't they should, for their feet are dusted with spices from a million flowers.”

2. “The first thing you learn in life is you're a fool. The last thing you learn in life is you're the same fool.”

3. “I want to feel all there is to feel, he thought. Let me feel tired, now, let me feel tired. I mustn't forget, I'm alive, I know I'm alive, I mustn't forget it tonight or tomorrow or the day after that.”

4. “No matter how hard you try to be what you once were, you can only be what you are here and now.”

5. “I've always known that the quality of love was the mind, even though the body sometimes refuses this knowledge. The body lives for itself. It lives only to feed and wait for the night. It's essentially nocturnal. But what of the mind which is born of the sun, William, and must spend thousands of hours of a lifetime awake and aware? Can you balance off the body, that pitiful, selfish thing of night against a whole lifetime of sun and intellect? I don't know. I only know there has been your mind here and my mind here, and the afternoons have been like none I can remember.”

6. “For John was running, and this was terrible. Because if you ran, time ran. You yelled and screamed and raced and rolled and tumbled and all of a sudden the sun was gone and the whistle was blowing and you were on your long way home to supper. When you weren't looking, the sun got around behind you! The only way to keep things slow was to watch everything and do nothing! You could stretch a day to three days, sure, just by watching!”

7. “I like to cry. After I cry hard it’s like it’s morning again and I’m starting the day over.”

8. "Dawn, then, was a time where things changed element for element. Air ran like hot spring waters nowhere, with no sound. The lake was a quantity of steam very still and deep over valleys of fish and sand held baking under its serene vapors. Tar was poured licorice in the streets, red bricks were brass and gold, roof tops were paved with bronze. The high- tension wires were lightning held forever, blazing, a threat above the unslept houses. The cicadas sang louder and yet louder. The sun did not rise, it overflowed.”

9. “Hold summer in your hand, pour summer in a glass, a tiny glass of course, the smallest tingling sip, for children; change the season in your veins by raising glass to lip and tilting summer in.”

10. “And, after all, isn’t that what life is all about, the ability to go around back and come up inside other people’s heads to look out at the damned fool miracle and say: oh, so that’s how you see it!? Well, now, I must remember that.”

11. “A common flower, a weed that no one sees, yes. But for us, a noble thing, the dandelion.”

12. “Was there, then, no strength in growing up? No solace in being an adult? No sanctuary in life? No fleshly citadel strong enough to with-stand the scrabbling assault of midnights?”

13. “So thinking, he slept. And, sleeping, put an end to Summer, 1928.”

[mama-cloud-goddess]

10 Things to Pack in Your Hospital Bag

When I was preparing (let's be honest - attempting to prepare) for my son's arrival, I stressed unbelievably hard about what to pack in my hospital bag. I asked friends who had kids, watched a dozen videos from TikTok moms, and got a list from my OB of what my local hospital recommended.

I ended up packing way too much stuff I didn't need. So here's a list of what I actually used.

By the way, this is in the order that I remembered them, not in order of importance.

Hairbrush. I actually forgot to shove this in my bag when leaving for the hospital and ended up sending my fiancé home to grab it. Laying in a bed for multiple days was awful on my hair.

2. Deodorant. Pregnancy, labor, and postpartum make you stink. I am personally very sensitive to how I smell and showered almost every day while I was pregnant, so deodorant was a priority.

3. Travel shower supplies. The hospital will most likely supply soap and shampoo, but I preferred to bring my own. You can buy empty travel-sized bottles to fill with what you have at home, or you can buy a pre-packed set that usually contains shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and possibly some other items. Don't forget a toothbrush and toothpaste!

4. Comfy go-home clothes. I packed multiple articles of clothing that I ended up not wearing. I'd seen several videos on TikTok of people buying labor gowns or robes to take to the hospital, so I bought myself a soft, loose robe that would be easy to adjust for breastfeeding and vital checking. Because it opened in the front, I was only able to wear it for about an hour before I had to change back into my hospital gown for whatever the nurses needed to do. I also packed comfortable pajamas and a nursing dress, thinking I'd want to feel cute when I went home, but it was at the end of April and therefore chilly, so I wore the pajamas home.

5. Slip-on shoes. I had just bought some flip flops because putting shoes on when you're pregnant sucks, so I wore those to the hospital.

6. Go-home baby clothes. This is pretty self-explanatory. My son was cozy and swaddled the entire time we were in the hospital, so he didn't need clothes until it was time to go home.

7. Baby blanket. Proceed. With. Caution. I had this adorable blue baby blanket with little elephants on it and I swaddled my son in it so that he had something from home in the hospital. When the nurse took him to administer his birth shots and do his vision and hearing screenings, she somehow misplaced the blanket and I never saw it again. We asked several nurses and no one could track it down. I'm not entirely sure they tried.

8. Phone charger. I feel like this is a no-brainer, but it's also super easy to forget, especially if you only have one so you can't pack it ahead of time. I also definitely recommend a long cord, I think mine is 6 feet, because you never know how far away the outlet will be.

9. Book or other entertainment. I packed a book that I never got around to reading, but I still recommend a book or a handheld game or something for your down time. I just played on my phone or slept when I could because I was awake for almost 24 hours from the morning my water broke to when I was able to go to bed after giving birth and my son being checked out and.

I also wanted to include some things that I saw multiple people suggest that were completely useless or ignored in my bag.

Diapers/wipes. I didn't plan on packing these, but my ex-husband (husband at the time) insisted on including them when I packed my bag.

2. Pads. They keep you stocked up in the hospital and they load you up when you leave. If you have a preferred brand then by all means bring your own, but I was a heavy bleeder during delivery so the normal flow pads I'd bought would have been useless in the hospital.

3. Baby grooming (nail clippers, etc). I saw this suggested a lot because baby nails are so sharp, and let me tell you they are! But they're also so delicate it's terrifying to cut them. My son is currently 3 1/2 months old and I still just wait for them to chip and tear them off.

4. Hair comb. People recommended this as a distraction from the pain. Squeezing the bristles in your hand is supposed to distribute the pain or something while you're contracting or pushing. Didn't do anything for me.

5. Handheld fan. Great idea; never took it out of my bag. My nurses, as well as my fiancé, were very attentive to my needs, especially the room temperature.

I hope this list is able to help you, or at least ease some of the stress of prepping for the big day.

Mama Cloud Goddess

[myheart-pumpsink]

When I was 6 I didn't want to eat dinner and then at 11 pm I kept bothering my mom that I was hungry and she yelled at me while she poured me raisin cereal, but I didn't like raisins so I didn't want to eat it and she threw the bowl at my feet when went back to sleep

I cleaned up the glass and cereal as best I could and went to bed hungry that day, which was honestly my fault but still

The next day i stepped on the glass I failed to clean up and I honestly don't remember what happened after that, I just remember stepping on it

When I was 8 I got one of those circle brushes tangled in my hair and after pulling and pulling and it didn't come out my mom just cut all the hair off. I think a lot of other people have also gone through this though so it's not a big deal, but my head hurt for weeks after and I specifically remember because it was sore to the touch and my mom doing my hair just made it so much worse. I couldn't even sleep on the side where my mom pulled, but I was too scared to say anything because it was my fault the brush got stuck

When I was 10 a kid on the playground was having an asthma attack and our class all thought that he was cold because it was winter so we all took off our jackets and gave them to him, I gave him my beanie and when the nurse got there she gave all the things back except my beanie and when i got home i got yelled at for giving away an expensive beanie even after I explained why i gave it away. I wasn't bought any winter accessories after that again, but that's fine I hate wearing beanies now anyways

When I was in kindergarten I got a 70 on an assignment and my mom yelled at me for what felt like hours, granted I was a kid so it might have only been 5 minutes i dont know. She still scared the shit out of me so I just stopped showing her my work

When I was 7 we made mother's Day cards in class, I gave mine to my mom and less than a week later I saw it in the trash. Now I have a box full of handmade mother's Day cards that I add to every year, I don't quite have the courage to give them to her. It's stupid the card was probably all squiggly drawings and illegible words but I'm still scared to see my gift in the trash, so I just don't bother

During COVID at my school they posted everyone's grades online where anyone could see them, I was a straight B student and my mom always compared me to other kids. So I studied more and skipped meals to do assignments and then I'd get yelled at for that, but if I didn't do that I wouldn't get As and then get yelled at more.

That same year I graduated with an A- for the entire year and was just one point away from getting an A. My mom didn't miss the opportunity to tell me I could have done better and to compare me to the kids who did better

When asked my mom swear that didn't happen

Something with that quote about "the axe forgets but the tree remembers"

And I remember every single hack no matter how hard I try to forget

I've been scared to ask for food since I was 6, I can't stand raisins even when I don't mind the taste anymore, I hated brushing my hair until middle school so it was always tangled until I cut it all off, I never tell my mom about tests or show her my grade on it even if it was a passing grade, giving people handmade gifts gives me the worse anxiety and I will break down crying minutes before I give the gift to them, ill always choose School over my own health, showing my parents my grades always makes me panic even if i have all As

I can't forget when I'm still feeling the effects

And maybe I'm far too sensitive, it's probably not their fault at all. I'm just weak and I couldn't take it.

[aparticularbandit]

Based on this post, I just want to pop off a little bit on translation. Specifically in reference to Bible translation.

Because like - the reason you see so many Bible translations comes down to whether the translators are word-for-word or whether they're going for translating the idea (which can come with a lot of bias based on what they think the idea is supposed to be, although word choice in a word-for-word can also be biased). And there's a wide spectrum of this, right? So some people will read segments across multiple translations to understand what's being said better.

And like you can run into footnotes that explain things!

I'm gonna pick on a specific instance because I've been in John 12 recently and this helped me a lot (now that I've actually, you know, the math of the thing).

So - in John 12:3, Mary annoints Jesus feet with "a pound of fragrant oil—pure and expensive nard" (HCSB). In John 12:4, Judas asks why she didn't sell it for 300 denarii, and the note says that a denarii is equal to a day's wage for a common laborer. Another states that 300 denarii is about a year's wages.

And like. I'd read the first note and think that's 300 days of work and then the second and if I was paying attention (I have not been, apparently), that's a year's worth of work. And it flies over my head.

But like.

The federal minimum wage is $7.25. Think of that as the base, the lowest we can get legally. (I know there are people who are paid less. I'm still using this as my base.) I don't know how much higher on the totem pole a common laborer would be, but so like - again, that's a base. It could be more! It also could be less. We're estimating here.

Assuming 52 weeks a year. 5 days a week. 8 hours a day. For a full year.

$7.25 × 8 hrs = $58 a day.

$58 × 5 days = $290 a week.

$290 × 52 weeks = $15,080 a year.

(That's before taxes and also 7 days a week over 52 weeks is only 364 days. But you get the point.)

Mary did what now.

Mary annointed Jesus' feet with oil that cost how much.

And this is like me making an estimate, please don't take my estimate as Scripture (when translating I tend to word-to-word for mental health reasons because I don't want to feel like I'm changing Scripture, you know).

But like - that's the difference between word-to-word and footnotes and localization.

And it is really about - what's the point of your translation? If its point is to help your reader have the greatest understanding of what's being written, how do you do that? How do you help your reader understand, to the greatest extent, what is going on here? What's its purpose?

And when translating Scripture, it's really hard to say what the best way of doing that is, particularly if you're wanting to avoid bias in a translation. Word-to-word might be better for that, but it can be rough to understand. As a reader, what are you sacrificing, what are you losing? Etc.

Anyway.

Thoughts.

[braveclementine]

Day 0

Warnings: None, Readers under 18 can read this book.

Copyright: My OCs are Coach Yonce, Emma, Ila, Tempus, and Itty Bitty. I own these characters. I do not condone any copying of this.

"Itty, she's upstairs." I said. "There's a computer over here that we can hack together. It's in like the middle room, you know? The one that has the stairs that leads upstairs?"

"Oh yeah, but I found another computer in the data room." Itty said, her small voice was quiet through the zoom call. "This way we can knock out two of the computers."

We had been playing Escape the Facility for about two hours now. Most of the time, the rounds were pretty long, as the killer would mostly camp the hackers trying to escape, which led to the game not progressing much.

However, there had been a few people who had joined the server, and now the killer we had had twice in a row now, was a very efficient killer. She managed to capture people and put them in tanks, and leave, while not letting others near the person in the tank until that said person was frozen.

The rules of the game were very straight-forward.

1. Hackers found computers and hacked them to open two doors on opposite sides of the building to escape. If a hacker failed at the computer, a red X would appear, telling the killer where people were.

2. The killer had a huge hammer that would knock the hacker player off their feet. The killer would click on the person with their mouse to attach a rope to them, and drag them to a tank.

3. Once the person was in the tank, a time bar would appear on the hackers screen, showing how much time until they were frozen.

4. If the killer stayed to close to the tank, the time bar would not go down. So the killer had to leave.

5. Another player in the game could save you from the tank. You could also press q to detatch yourself from the rope if the killer took to much time looking for an empty tank.

6. The killer could not get you if you were hiding under a table.

7. Hackers had lockers they could hide in.

8. You knew when the killer was coming because you could hear a heartbeat sound and there would also be a glow from whatever colour they had attached to their hammer.

9. The hackers won by escaping through the doors.

10. The killer won by freezing everyone in their tanks.

It was very straight-forward, very fun, and yet also creepy at the same time. Most of the time, Itty and I were rather disappointed with the outcomes, as killers usually got frustrated, leaving the server and stopping the game. It was very hard to find a good group of people to play with.

Suddenly, Itty gave a little scream through the zoom call, "AH! She's here!"

"Run Itty." I laughed, continuing to hack the computer I was at. I made sure to press E when the little arrow came around at the right time. I kept an ear out for any heartbeat that would tell me the killer was coming.

"No, it's okay. I escaped through the hole in the wall and now I'm running." Itty said. "Ugh but the stupid door is closed. I hate opening and closing the doors."

I just smiled at the screen.

"Okay, one computer down." I said, running from the room, the computer having a green screen up now.

Upstairs, I found another computer, and made sure to let Itty know. She soon joined me in the room and we hacked the computer together.

The max amount of players that could hack a computer at one time was three. The more people hacking the same computer, the faster the computer got hacked. However, it was often dangerous if you were working with a person who didn't know how the game worked, as they were likely to create an X above the computer, which would lead to the killer coming.

Suddenly, there was a crackling sound on the other side of Zoom. Since I was playing the game on the computer, I had zoom minimized so I could see one person at a time.

"Hey Otter." I said as my Half-Pilipino, Half-Scottish friend joined the zoom call. "You want to join Itty and I? We're playing Escape the Facility."

"Eh, I don't really like that game." Otter replied.

"You have terrible taste in games." I said.

"Says the girl who plays Bee Swarm Simulator." Otter laughed.

"Oi, that's a perfectly good game. You hater." I laughed.

"You played it for hours over Spring break."

"There was nothing else to do. It's an AFK mining game." I retorted. "Besides, I've moved over to Assassin now. Collecting knives is my new game. Soon, I'll have more knives than NODataFound!"

"I don't know who that is." Itty and Otter said together.

I tsked, but said no more as Itty and I finished hacking the computer.

"Okay, where do you think the other computers are?" I asked.

"There was another computer in the upper hallway of the Airport, and then the last two are in the outside part of the Airport." Itty replied. "One is by the car and the other is in the airplane."

"Good to know." I said, "How about you head outside and I'll stay in?"

"Okay."

I headed out the door, and went right, finding the computer right there. I could see the yellow glow of the killers hammer on the first floor, but they were heading in a different direction. I started to hack the computer and Itty ran past me to jump down the hole that would bring her to the outside.

"Oh there's already two of the noobs working this computer." Itty said.

Noobs were for those who either had low levels, or had default skins.

"Then just go for the one in the airplane." I replied. "That way when they mess up, you won't be with them."

As though my words were magic, a huge red X appeared in the direction Itty had gone.

"You guys take this game to seriously." Otter commented, scrolling on her phone in the zoom box.

"I like winning." I said with a grin.

"What do you guys want to play after that games over?" Otter asked, ignoring me.

"Um, either Murder Mystery 2 or Bloxburg." I replied. "If we choose Bloxburg, you can finish building my house for me."

"If you have any money." Otter jested.

"I worked hard." I giggled, wishing the computer hacking would go faster. "I made about $60,000 by grinding out the grocery store job yesterday and the day before."

"You could just say Friday and Saturday." Itty yawned.

"Shut up Shrimp."

Otter laughed.

I raced towards the other computers, crouching to see that the killer had already put one of the noobs- a boy noob with bacon hair- in a freezing tank. The other noob- a boy with raised brown hair- was being dragged by a thin rope for another tank.

Once the heartbeat had gone some, I dropped down through the hole, letting the person out. Their computer wasn't done yet, but I went up to the airplane to help Itty finish it off.

She was almost done, and we finished off the last bit together and then went back for the other computer.

The killer was coming back however, and we escaped through the hole in the floor, racing up the stairs outside of it, closing the door behind us, and then heading into the data server room.

"Here, we can finish this computer now." Itty said.

Once we did that, we dropped through another hole, went through a door, went back through the hole in the wall, and then finished off that computer.

"I'll keep guard, you open the door." I told Itty.

"Oh good, you guys are almost done." Otter said, "I'll get Murder Mystery 2 up. You guys can join off me."

Itty finished opening the door just as the killer came down from the stairs. "GO!" I laugh screamed and we raced through the door.

Instead of the customary 'You Win' page coming up, my screen turned black. A red liquid like blood started to drip from the top of my computer and it spelled the words: It's Not Over Yet.

"Did they add a bonus round?" I asked Itty.

"I don't know, maybe they just wanted to make a cool effects screen." Itty suggested.

I shrugged, clicking the x on the computer screen once we were back in the main lobby. "Okay Otter, let me just change my skin and then I'll join you in MM2."

"Weirdo." They answered together.

➡️

[masonmyluv]

I posted 1,490 times in 2022

That's 1,345 more posts than 2021!

113 posts created (8%)

1,377 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:❤️❤️❤️❤️

@bluesmason

@mountzka

@cityfanchelseaslut

@masnmount

@carlottawllms

I tagged 164 of my posts in 2022

#masonmount - 90 posts

#money mase - 71 posts

#mason mount smut - 49 posts

#mason mount - 37 posts

#mason - 19 posts

#mason mount imagine - 13 posts

#fc chelsea - 13 posts

#ruben dias - 11 posts

#mason mount fluff - 11 posts

#mason mount fanfic - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 75 characters

#his legs not being the only thing i’m looking at in the first and third pic

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Why is this so hot and cute at the same time 🥺😩

103 notes - Posted May 23, 2022

#4

This picture breaks my heart in millions of pieces 😭😭💔💔 I just want to give him a hug 🧸🤍

Someone please write a sad imagine because I’m in the mood for crying thank you 🥰😭

110 notes - Posted April 2, 2022

#3

The bodyguard ~ part 1

Mason Mount x reader

Contains angst and fluff

“You pepper-sprayed me!" Mason yelled.

"Of course I did! You came in while I was changing!" You yelled back.

"It was an emergency" he said.

"Emergency my ass! You thought you heard a glass broke. You're being paranoid" you rolled your eyes at him.

"I swear to God-"

"Get the fuck out!" You tried to push him out of the door, but he was a 6 feet 4 muscley brick wall so your attempts failed. "I'm here to protect you and you'll thank me one day" he huffed, leaving the room in a hurry and slamming the door shut. You collapsed on the floor, breaking into sobs and tears. After 3 months of him being 24/7 near you as your bodyguard, you thought things would look differently. You thought he changed but I guess he couldn't feel any emotion besides anger and coldness.

You replayed the scene in your head all night, not being able to sleep after another unhappy encounter with him. Why did you have to endure all of this? Oh yeah, because your father was the head of the Mafia and you were an easy target. And your idiotic of a brother was working with him and got the brightest idea to hire a bodyguard for you. An ol' friend of him who was in the army. Bullshit. You didn't need protection. You knew how to fight, you had a pepper spray always with you so why did you need a bodyguard? Just to drive you nuts with his stubbornness? No thanks.

*Mason's pov*

I left the room before I lost control and did something I would regret later. I've locked myself into the gym, punching the shit out the boxing bag to ease my nerves. No one else... damn! No other woman could drive me this crazy. I hated it so much... but also loved it... Stop! What am I thinking? Punch. Kick. Punch. She was dragging me to the edge of my patience day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute of the time spent with her, guarding her. I could've refused the offer, but Jack had been my best mate in the army and I couldn't turn him down. Not after he saved my life, but no one knew that.

My knuckles already had bruises on them from the hard punching. I. Hate. You. No. I hate me. For not being the bodyguard she saw in me. I stopped before I hurt myself further and made a quick walk to the bathroom on the hallway. Of course I had an en suite bathroom, but I wanted to pass by her door. See if she was alright. Of course she wasn't, you just yelled at her like an idiot after she built her trust in you. I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard her crying. I felt awful, being the reason behind her sadness. I inhaled a deep breath and continued my way for a short distance. Because, without me acknowledging it, my legs carried me to her door and my finger knocked on the door. She didn't respond, yet the sobs couldn't be heard anymore. Not fooling me this easy, princess.

I opened the door anyways, preparing myself for another pepper spray and I was damn right. She was there with the can in her hands, aiming in to my face. "You really like seeing me hurt don't you?" I asked her with a small smile. "I don't. I don't wish that to anyone. Not even to my worse enemies" she replied. For a spoiled child, she was pretty wise. "What do you want?" She asked coldly. Coldness, not the usually happiness I heard in her voice every day. "I came to check on you" I said. "I didn't know you cared about others then yourself" she said and I allowed myself to smile. "You don't know me princess" I replied cooly. Her eyes searched for any form of emotion on my face, after falling on my bruised hands. "Oh my God, what happened?" She asked, throwing the spray away and taking my hands in hers. That soft, simple touch drove me crazy. "I hope you didn't get into a fight with someone" she said like a mother would scold her child. "You sound like my mom" I said amused, but cleared my throat when her eyes shot up to my face in shock. I've never opened to anyone about my family or my past. "A fight with the punching bag" I said quickly. "Come on" she said, dragging me inside as we were still at the door.

*your pov*

I used my first aid kit to clean the bruises, to which he winced in pain. "Sorry" I said softly, bandaging them carefully. I knew he was watching me all the time, I always felt when he looked at me and it was a strange feeling. "I didn't know you cared" he said. The jerk is back. "You don't know me enough, darling". His face fell at the nickname, just the reaction I was looking for. We stood in awkward silence for a few moments, until he spoke up, shocking the hell out of me.

*Mason's pov*

"I'm sorry" I mumbled. "I didn't quite catch that" she said, patting her ear. That little brat. "I said I'm sorry. About earlier. I shouldn't have come in" I said louder this time. "It's fine. It's not like anything you never seen before" she shrugged. She was damn right. All the times she walked in the skimpiest bikini to the garden pool made my cock hard as fuck. Or the time she got stuck in a dress at a shop and I had to come to the rescue and she was only in her purple panties. I wished I could touch her in that moment, feeling her soft soft skin under my callused hands, palm her breasts and... It's not the moment to think about that now. "Tell me about your mother" she suddenly said. "There's not much to say" I shrugged. "She died when I was 7. Father left when she told him she was pregnant. An uncle raised me but he died while I was in the army" I said. She didn't say anything, and the next thing surprised me. She hugged me. Not out of pity, but for comfort. My comfort and hers. She had a place where all the worries disappeared. That place was in my arms. I hugged her back, pulling her closer into my chest when her body started trembling, meaning she was crying. But now I was here to comfort her, and yet I didn't know what to say. I just hugged her tighter while she let all the worries and stress of the past days flow away. Even I surprised myself when I kissed the top of her head and she sucked a deep breath, pulling away a moment to look into my eyes. "I... I don't hate you" she said even though I never asked. "I just wanted you to know this" she said blushing. "I don't hate you either" I said softly, brushing the remaining tears on her cheek with my thumb. "But I do hate your stubbornness sometimes" I smiled down at her. "Aaaand you ruined the moment" she scoffed. "What's your greatest wish?" I asked. "Find true love. But something that won't take that much, probably go away from all this bullshit. Even a vacation. 4 days. I don't need more. I just want to forget what family I live in" she sighed. "That sounds good" I said, pulling the best neutral face to hide my enthusiasm. "Yeah. Though it won't happen very soon so all I can do is dream" she sounded sad. "Speaking about dreams... it's 1 am and if somebody finds us, we'll be in great trouble" I said. "You're right. Night Mason" she said, pressing her lips to my cheek in a 3 seconds kiss. "Night princess" I said, making sure she was tucked in bed before I exited the room. What did just happen?

Hope you like it 🥰 Any feedback is appreciated 🦋

123 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

#2

If he knew what he does to me 👀😩

130 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

What is with men and billiard? All I can think is sinful 😩🥵

136 notes - Posted March 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ynderebot]

OFFICIAL POST

危険...DANGER.

LOADING…ADDING NEW FILES... █▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 10% ███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 30% █████▒▒▒▒▒ 50% ███████▒▒▒ 100% ██████████

COMPLETE.

ファイル...FILES.

choi yeonjun. nancy mcdonie. lee gahyeon. kim sunwoo. kim doyeon. choi san. kim sihyeon. yang jeongin.

執着型 [ shuuchaku-gata ] obsessive.

"where were you? who were you with? what were you doing? why didn't you answer my messages? oh come on darling, don't be like that...I've been waiting for hours!"

[ PROFILE 1. ]

choi yeonjun.

5'11. 21 yrs old. September 13th, 1999. virgo. blood type a. born in seoul, south korea

at age 14 yeonjun was sent to a boarding school in japan, this is where he discovered his...tendencies. halfway through his first year he met a girl, kang iseul. he was instantly infatuated with her, he had an impulsive urge to know every little thing about her. to do so he befriended her, using his appearance and charms to win her over and eventually made her his. the euphoric rush that ran through his body when she was officially his was like nothing he'd ever felt before. she was finally his and he didn't intend on letting go, not without a fight at least. he was in for a shock when one day she tried to run away after his true colors started to show. unfortunately her best friend was killed by yeonjun for trying to help her, but she did escape.

he's a switch with no lean. a hard/soft dom or obedient sub all just depends on his mood and how he's feeling

[ PROFILE 2. ]

nancy mcdonie.

5'4. 21 yrs old. april 13th, 2000. aries. blood type o. born in daegu, south korea.

nancy was always a little obsessed with things, she'd go through phases too. she would find one new hobby/thing that intrigued her and hyper fixate on it for a few months. then, just like that it would be forgotten as if it had never happened. it started from a young age too, so when she would tell all her friends and family about the boy she met it came as no surprise to them. soon enough he was all she talked about, all she cared about, it was true obsession. everyone around her thought that it was just a phase like everything else, but they were sadly mistaken. the day he broke up with her, she lashed out. screaming that he couldn't break up with her, no she wouldn't let him break up with her. even after that day she would never stop talking about him, she tried to stay involved with his life as much as she could and even ended up scaring away any potential lovers. she never stopped either, until she had no choice when he moved away.

she's a sub, usually obedient but can be bratty if she's in a mood.

ストーカー型 [ sutookaa-gata ] stalker.

"how did I know? I'm always with you, following you...watching you...it's only because I love you"

[ PROFILE 3. ]

lee gahyeon.

5'3. 22 yrs old. february 3rd, 1999. aquarius. blood type ab. born in seongnam, south korea.

she was so excited when her crush asked her out, she couldn't contain herself. the problem was, it's difficult to get to know someone when you already know everything about them. she'd been stalking him ever since he caught her eye, every single day. she'd follow him to and from school, to his friends house, wherever he went she usually wasn't far behind. he could never find out about that side of her though, so she played along. laughing at childhood stories she heard him tell previously, pretending to be shocked when learning things she already knew. even after they began dating she continued to stalk him, he noticed things were off. she was the one he confided his "paranoia" in and she was the one who reassured him, but little did he know she was the cause of it all.

she's a sub, also obedient but can be bratty if she feels like it.

[ PROFILE 4. ]

kim sunwoo.

5'10. 21 yrs old. april 12th, 2000. aries. blood type b. born in seongnam gyeonggi, south korea.

unlike gahyeon, sunwoo was not always a stalker. he'd heard of stalkers but it never peaked his interest, he didn't even take any note of his slightly possessive tendencies. until his first relationship that is, his first partner showed signs of cheating. he might not have realized his own possessiveness and how it was seemingly growing stronger, but he was no fool. all the coming home late, the scent of another person that was not their own flooding the house when they entered. so he began following them around, at first it was...innocent, or as innocent as stalking could be. they were cheating, this made his possessiveness shoot through the roof. he was most aggressive and warned his partner that they do not want to do that again. they listened, and he continued to stalk them, it turned into a fun...game of sorts.

he's a switch with a sub lean, soft dom/occasionally bratty sub.

独占型 [ dokusen-gata ] monopoly.

"who were you talking to? do they know me? no no, do they know you're mine?"

[ PROFILE 5. ]

kim doyeon.

5'8. 21 yrs old. december 4th, 1999. saggitarius. blood type o. born in wonju-gangwon, south korea

doyeon had always been just about as normal as you could get. until she got a boyfriend, she was possessive of him sure...but it was nothing too extreme. until she started having doubts, all the gorgeous girls that would go up to him, flirting and doing who knows what when she wasn't around. she made it her mission to let everyone know he was hers and she was his, wether it meant glueing herself to him or just reminding everyone at school on the daily. ever since he broke up with her, her tendencies only grow stronger and more extreme with each passing minute.

she's a sub, brat tendencies but will be obedient sometimes

[ PROFILE 6. ]

choi san.

5'9. 21 yrs old. july 10th, 1999. cancer. blood type b. born in namhae-south gyeonsan, south korea.

san's first love was a girl in his sister's class, was she a year older than him? yes, but he didn't care. despite all the people telling him he would never date her, he proved them wrong and he did. everything was perfect, they were both madly in love with each other, spending every minute of every waking day together. until something happened that san hadn't expected, his sister began to steal his girlfriend. well "steal" in his definition at least, she'd wanted to talk with his girlfriend every once in a while before he knew it they were always together and it seemed as if he was the real third wheel, this pissed him off more than anything. he got fed up one day and got into a physical fight with his sister, shouting about how the girl belonged to him and only him. from then on out he's made sure to stay in the middle of every single relationship.

he's a switch with no lean hard/soft dom or obedient/bratty sub, it all depends

排除型 [ haijo-gata ] removal.

"you haven't seen them in a while? I'm sure they're alright darling, after all I'm the only one you need. isn't that right?"

[ PROFILE 7. ]

kim sihyeon.

5'6. 21 yrs old. august 5th, 1999. leo. blood type b. born in bundang-gu, seongnam-si, south korea.

she's a sub, usually bratty but can be obedient too

[ PROFILE 8. ]

yang jeongin.

5'8. 20 yrs old. february 8th, 2001. aquarius. blood type a. born in busan, south korea.

he's a switch with a slight sub lean but can be a soft dom

sihyeon and jeongin's stories go together, they were childhood friends and neighbors. eventually they realized that they had feelings for each other, but this soon after developed into a toxic mindset. the thought that they only need each other, no one else. one by one people from the other's life began to disappear, especially anyone who could be a romantic rival. they were both oblivious to the other's actions until each confronted the other, instead of being upset they were each ecstatic. ecstatic that the other felt the same, that they were the only person they needed in their life

notes/rules

this isn't an accurate representation of any of the members/their companies/groups nor am I claiming to be them!

all of the members are bisexual with no lean

all of the members are yanderes [ obviously ] so they will act as such, however some can be more possessive than others at times

the ones who can be the most possessive are sihyeon and jeongin and the least are yeonjun and nancy

sihyeon and jeongin are obviously not still dating, it was just for backstory/plot purposes

nsfw is an option, if you would like it included please state so when you activate the bot

however please don't make everything nsfw, it gets boring when the plot dwindles

nsfw is 18+ but purely sfw option is available if you aren't comfortable with it or if you're below 18

all the members have hard kinks and their hard no's are scat/feet, if you still aren't sure just ask admin before doing anything

they all use the traffic light system

and please don't try to put them in a different headspace!

to talk with admin use any variation of [ ], { }, ( ), etc

admin is 18 and might get busy occasionally but will try her best during those times

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to activate the bot dm and then admin will ask a few questions/come up with a plot with you and after that the role-play can start up

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[haechanokeh]

I'm Right For You [pt.9]

pairing: popular college! mark x average! reader

genre: romance, smut, angst, series.

warning (general): corruption, oral sex (both receiving and giving), cream pie, rough sex, mention of religion, rough sex, self-esteem, public sex, sub! reader, sex toys. possessive mark two-faced mark

[teaser] [ Chapter 1 ] [ Chapter 2 ] [ Chapter 3 ] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8]

when mark said that he will not touch you, he failed again. you're sore everywhere and exhausted.

"y/n?" mark poked your cheeks but you didn't respond at all or move an inch. you're weightlessly lying on top of him, cheek squished against his hard chest, arms on each side of his head, and legs spread, dick still touching your stickiness. you can still that the mixed liquids are dripping from you and mark also can feel it.

he played the tips of your hair.

"i love you." he whispered on top of your head and gave it a kiss.

"-mm too." you mumbled. he grinned as he fined it cute.

his phone suddenly rang and it wasn't that far so he reached for it. it's his mom. mark answered the call.

"mom?" he answered with forehead wrinkled in curiosity. it made you flinched and made you panic, you stopped yourself from cursing and was about to get off from mark's body but his hand on top of your lower back pushed you down preventing you from moving.

"stay still." he said with his commanding tone. so you did yet hoping that his mom didn't hear him.

"mark, where are you? your classmates are already here, they told me you weren't in class? what happened?" you could hear the concerned mother from the phone. your heart beating fast in panic and nervousness.

shit, they already knew he skipped class?

"where are my classmates? what do you mean?" mark ignore his mother's question on what happened why he's not in classes.

"we have worship service today mark, remember? you even invited your classmates"

you saw mark squeezed his nose bridge, brows furrowed, and he looked like he screwed up. it felt like you're at fault, if only you stopped mark from bringing you here and just pushed him to attend class. the truth was you loved the idea of staying alone with mark but now you could tell, it wasn't a good idea.

"mom, i'm sorry i forgot. it's because..." his eyes landed on you. mark saw your guilty face. he gave you a reassuring smile and caressed your cheeks. "have the headache today, i'm feeling under the weather mom. sorry."

he lied. you bit your lower lip. mark is a devoted christian and he will never lie about this kind of matter.

"oh my, okay okay. do you want us to go there?" his mom asked, totally fell from his son. mark's mom knew his son as someone who will lie and mark never skipped the worships unless he's sick.

"no, mom i'm fine. just have to rest." he replied. his mom told him to get enough sleep before she hangs up. mark placed his phone beside him.

"mark, you did not attend your worship." you were obviously guilty. "we should've gone to school."

mark didn't like the mood you're giving him, he translated it as if you regretted spending your day with him, alone. he also doesn't like that you're blaming yourself.

"but i got to spend my time alone with you, there's nothing wrong with it." mark smiled at you. his smiles always make your heart flutter but, this one... it's strange. "we don't have to worry about anything, won't go to hell for my absence in worship and my grades won't fall for skipping for a day." mark tucked some strand of hair in your face and tucked it behind your ear. there's no guilt or remorse for skipping two things that his world used to revolve into.

"you and me, that's only matters, hmm? do you not like being with me, y/n?" mark eyes were dark and icy, he smiled but it was cold. it made your blood run cold. he was asking you but he clearly was ordering you to answer him what he wanted to hear from you.

but it's taking you so long, mark looked slightly upset.

"y/n?" his hand grabbed your cheeks and squeezed it but it didn't hurt you, it was playfully but it felt like your heart was stabbed by cold spiked ice.

"yes." finally respond to him with a forced smile.

maybe he's lying, maybe he's just making me feel less bad.

you locked your front door and get inside in mark's car.

"how's your sleep." he started to drive the car.

"insufficient, i still want to sleep." you yawned. mark looked at you.

"do you want to sleep in my condo or your house?" he said.

"what? no, i'm good. i'll just sleep in class." you joked. mark smiled but he knew you will really fall asleep especially during pharma marketing.

"so, does your mom know that i exist?" mark changed the subject. you went silent. "no plans in introducing me to your mother?" he was calmly laughing but he's slightly upset.

"ahm no, well... she doesn't even know i gave friends but ahm, if she has a chance to meet ahm..." he touched your hand and squeezed it.

"relax, i know your mom is very busy." mark intertwined your hands with his. you're staring at him.

he's switching mood so fast.

"you're not yet even my girlfriend... yet." he added. he glanced at me and raised his brow but smirking.

"you can ask me again though..." you lowered your voice but you made sure that he will hear it.

his head quickly turned to you and you burst into laughter when you saw his eyes bulging out.

"yow, dude are you serious?!" his voice cracked and you couldn't stop laughing. you nodded your head.

"but mark if you want me to be your girlfriend, don't call me dude. okay?" you teased him.

"then can I be your girlfriend-- wait what?" both of you looked confused.

"mark!" you threw your head back and shaking in laughter.

"I mean, can you be my girlfriend, dang it." you chuckled and squeezed his hand.

"yes." your eyes were locking. "but eyes on the road."

"oh, yes! right!" he panicked.

it's been only 1 hour after you officially became his girlfriend but he's already pouting.

"mark, we should be careful. i don't like to be the center of attention just because you're my boyfriend." you said.

he stayed silent. well, he kept on insisting that both of you enter the school at the same time but you decline it because it's better if one of you go first just to avoid suspicion.

"I'm going first, okay?" you gave him a calming smile but it didn't reach him. he just stared at the steering wheel. you sighed and just stepped out of the car.

when you entered the room, same morning, no one greets you because the only person who greets you was sulking in his car. you sat on your usual chair, your class has no fix seating arrangement but everyone knows that the corner on the fourth row is your seat.

"hey." you looked up and saw lucas sitting beside you.

"hey." you smiled at him.

"where were you yesterday?" he put down his bag. you already prepared your excuse.

"fetch my mom in the airport." though your mom use land transpo.

"oh, i see well mark is absent to- oh hey dude." lucas offered his hand to mark for hand shake.

you looked up, he's infront of you but he's staring at lucas with his emotionless face. lucas fingers where slowly folding because it seems like mark will not take it.

"move, that's my seat." mark's voice was frosty and slightly loud but it didn't raise a pitch.

"dude, you seat everywhe-" lucas didn't finish his word when mark grabbed his shirt. he was looking up to mark who's standing and towering him.

everyone was alarmed and stood from their seats, including you.

"mark, calm down..." everyone was trying to pull you away from him, some were trying to remove his hand from lucas' shirt.

"mark!" you grabbed his arm and tried to pull him away from lucas who's stop dead in track on the seat.

"you thought you can have her just because everyone kept on saying that you and y/n look good together, that doesn't mean you can have her! stay away from my girlfriend!" he spat harshly. everyone saw the mark that they never expect to meet, eyes dark and glaring.

your jaw dropped when he announced your relationship that wasn't supposed to be revealed.

"mark!" you stomp on your feet and tried to pull his arms once more. "mark, let's talk!"

some of your classmates were staring at you and you started to over analyze it. your felt embarrassed and in verge of crying.

"mark, please." you voice was shaking and tears started to fell from your eyes.

when mark heard that voice he quickly went back in his senses and looked at you. he freed lucas and forget that they exist. mark was about to cup your face but you stepped back.

"let's talk, outside."

mark followed you until you reach the front gate of your school. you brought your bag because you haven't remove it from your back and so was he.

"what was that?" you angrily turned to face him.

"he likes you, but he doesn't like you like ido-"

"i don't care about him!" you raised your voice. mark was surprised from your voice and angry face. your chest was heaving and nose flaring, you face is also redden in anger.

you know that lucas doesn't like you anyway which made you angry more.

"i told you, we're not supposed to tell them that we're together."

"i didn't agree, because if i agree with you, that boy will try ask you out." he pointed his finger to you. "why are you so mad, i just tried to warn him."

"you just made a scene mark! that's not you!" you pointed your finger back at him.

"and you're not suppose to be talking to anyone or get too close to anyone because that's not you. i am the only one who talks to you, all these years i am the only one who notices you and they never did so i don't understand how did lucas casually sitting on the seat beside you which is by the way my seat." he growled, his face was inches away from you but his breath fanning your face. he was fuming in anger.

"you are mine, they are not like what you think they are. they are bunch of losers, blood suckers. i lied when i said that they want to befriend you, they never mention you because they don't care. i am the only person who tried to get close to you so fucking stay away from them!" he shouted.

you flinched. you were staring at him as if you're looking for something... or someone.

"who are you?" you whispered. "where's the mark that everybody loves? the kind mark that i always look up to?"

mark face slowly soften when he realized what kind of behavior he was giving you.

"you only like me because i'm kind." he looked disappointed. again, he wasn't supposed to feel that way.

"no, i love you because you're lovely." you sobbed. you bit your lip and burst into tears. you shook your head. "don't go after me." you were dead serious and walked away from him.

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