#it's just an amazing game on every front idek what to tell you

[grave-gift]

If you guys are gonna buy one thing during the steam summer sale make it Dave the Diver.

The best word to describe this game is delightful. Catch fish with your spear gun during the day and run a sushi restaurant at night, and discover the secrets of the magical blue hole you dive in where every species of fish is present and the geography is changing everyday. There's combat, there's collection, there's a great story line, there's farming, there's fish farming, there's minigames, the animation and art and music are fantastic. It's GENUINELY fun, and genuinely funny. I've played it for 60 hours and I'm not done the main story line yet. Oh did I mention it's $20? And it's on sale for less?

[dragonmuse]

How to be a Dirtbag Fic Writer

I got to do some talking about writing today and I couldn’t stop thinking about it so here are my full thoughts on the matter of being a dirtbag fic writer.

Being the disorganized thoughts of someone two and a half decades into the beautiful mess that is writing fanfic (and a few non-fanfic things too).

What is a dirtbag fic writer? 

 I am talking about someone who is not cleaning up anything. We show up filthy, fresh out of rooting around in the garden of our imaginations. We probably smell a little from work. We will hand you our hard grown fruits, but we have not washed them and we carried them in the bottom upturned parts of our t-shirts. The fruit is a little bruised. It’s not cut up or put in a bowl yet. But we got it in the house! It’s here. Someone can eat it.  

Why dirtbag it? Because the fruit gets in the house. If you’re hemming and hawing, if the idea you want to do seems to be big or you want it perfect and shiny. If you’re imagining a ten thousand step process, so you’re not taking the first step? Dirtbag it. 

How do I dirtbag? 

That’s the best part. You just write. Sit down. One word after the other. No outline, no plan, no destination. No thought of editing. Just word vomit. Every word is a good word. It’a word that wasn’t there before. Grammar sucks? Who cares. Can’t think of the perfect word? Fuck it, put in the simplest version of what you mean. 

Write the idea that you love. The one thing you want to say. Has it been done 3000000 times? WHO CARES human history is long, every idea has been done, probably more than twice. YOU have never written it before. It’s your grubby potato that you clawed out of the ground and guess what someone can still make it into delicious french fries. 

Now here’s the critical part. Write as much as you can squeeze out of your brain. One word in front of the other. 

And then I challenge you this: at most, read it over once and then put it into the world. Just as it is. AND THIS IS IMPORTANT: DO IT WITHOUT APOLOGY OR CAVEAT.  I challenge you, beautiful dirtbag to not pre-emptively apologize. Do not make your work lesser. THAT IS YOUR POTATO! It has eyes and roots and dirt clinging to it because that is what happens.  We are dirtbagging it today. Hell really confused people at do #dirtbagwriter on it.  

Dirtbag writes id, base, lizard brain. Dig in the fertile garden of your imagination. What is the story you tell yourself before you fall asleep? What’s your anxiety this week? Your fantasy? What is going well? What do you wish things looked like? Who is the feral imaginary character you’ve been crafting to take your frustrations and joys out on? 

But, VEE, I wish to have an editor and an outline, use a cool software like scrivener instead of retching up onto a google doc and making it look NICE and PRETTY!

COOL! DO THAT THEN! IF YOU’RE ACTUALLY DOING IT! You should have a process! That’s cool and healthy and necessary for sustainable writing. But if you’re not writing because all of that seems too much? THEN DON’T. 

Did you know fic is free? That we do this from love? From sheer desire? For the love of the game? If you have a process, and the words are flowing, amazing, I love that for you, you don’t need this essay.  If you don’t, let us continue. 

What does dirtbag writing look like? 

It’s messy. It’s a little raw and tatty around the edges sometimes. It’s weird.  It’s someone else’s first draft. Maybe it winds up being your first draft, Idek, that’s your business. 

It’s jokes that make YOU laugh. It’s drama that would make YOU cry if you read it. You are your first commenter. You are your first audience (and possibly continuing pleasure! If you don’t go back and reread your own work sometimes, you might be missing out on one of your favorite authors cause you wrote it for you! Wait until you’re not so close to it. Years sometimes. Then hey, maybe some of this is pretty dang good actually.) 

It has mistakes. 

Dirtbags make mistakes, but dirtbags have published pieces. They have things other people can read out there. 

What if I don’t get good feedback? 

Look, the most likely outcome of any new, untried fic writer (and even established writers trying something new-ish)  is that you get no feedback. That’s real. Silence. It’s eerie, it’s terrible, it sucks. I don’t want to pretend it doesn’t. But nothing is not negative. It’s a big fic-y ocean out there and we are all wee itty-bitty-sometimes-with-titty fishes.  

You should still do it all over again. And again. And again. You get better at writing by writing. You just do. Nothing else replaces it. If your well is dry? Fill it with new things. Go do something new, read a new kind of book, watch a new film,  (libraries have so much good shit, you don’t even have to spend money for so many things if you have a library card), just go for a walk in a new direction. Stimulate yourself. Got a cup of something hot and eavesdrop on conversations. Refill yourself with newness. 

And hey, speaking of, do you leave comments? Because you get what you give. You can build relationships with people by commenting and that builds community and community means places to get feedback in the end. Comments are gold. They are all we are paid in. Tip your writers with ‘extra kudos’ or ‘this made me laugh’. And hey, when you go back for a re-read so you can tell them your favorite part? Ask yourself how they made that favorite part? What do you like about it?  Tone? Metaphor? The structure? Reading teaches us how to write too! 

BUT, okay. Sometimes. Sometimes there is actual bad feedback and people suck. 

You know the best part about being a dirtbag? Unrepentant block, delete, goodbye. You don’t own anyone with a shitty opinion any of your precious time on this earth. You did it for free, you gave them your dirty, but still delicious fruit and they went ‘ew, this is a dirty strawberry, how could you not make a clean tomato?”  Because you didn’t plant fucking tomatoes, did you? Don’t fight, don’t engage. Block. Delete. Goodbye. 

If someone in person, looked you in the eye when you brought them a plate of food to share at a party and they said “Why didn’t you bring me MY favorite? This isn’t cooked well at all.” You would probably write up a Reddit AiTA question about it just to hear five thousand people say they were an asshole.   Fic is no different 

And hey, when you dirtbag it? You know you did. It’s not your most cleaned up perfect version. So who cares what they think? You might make it more shiny and polished next time! You might NOT. 

Ok, but what if I don’t finish it? 

Fuck it, post it anyway. 

What if it’s bad? 

Fuck it, post it anyway. 

What if it doesn’t make sense? 

That’s ART, baby. Fuck it, post it anyway. 

What if what I want to write doesn’t work with current fandom norms? 

Then someone out there probably needs it!  And what the hell is this? The western canon? FUCK IT POST IT ANYWAY* 

*Basic human decency is not a ‘fandom norm’. Don’t be racist, sexist, ableist, fat shaming, classist or shitty about anyone's identity on main, okay? Dirtbag writers are KIND first and foremost. Someone saying you are stepping into shit about their identity is not the same as unsolicited crappy feedback about pairings. In the immortal words of Kurt Vonnegut: "God damn it, you've got to be kind.”

You’re being very flippant about something that’s scary. 

I know. I know I am. I know it can be scary. But no risk, no reward and hell, you aren’t using your goddamn legal name on the internet are you? (please for the love of fuck do not be using your legal name to write fic) You’ve got on a mask. You’re a superhero. With dirt on your cape. 

That niche thing that you think no one cares about? Guaranteed you will find someone else in the world who wants it. Maybe they won’t find it right away. Maybe they will be too shy to comment or even hit a button. But your dirty potato will stick with them. They will make french fries in their head.

You have an audience. But they can’t find you if you have nothing out there. 

Go forth. Make. 

You have some errors in this essay. 

PROBABLY CAUSE I DIRTBAGGED IT.  But I picked this strawberry for you out of my brain, so I hope you run it under some cold water and find the good bits and have a nice snack. Or throw it away. Or use it to plant more strawberries (I know that’s not how strawberries work, metaphors break when stretched).  

#dirtbagwriter 

Go forth and MAKE

[redgillan]

Under Pastel Skies - 7

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 6,480

Warnings: none

A/N: This is long overdue, sorry - hopefully it’s worth it. It’s also incredibly long... idek anymore. I want to thank you all for your patience and support. It means a lot to me.

Wannabe sugar daddies, don’t interact with this post.

You grumbled into your pillow when you heard your phone buzz on the bedside table. Cracking one eye open, you lifted your phone and squinted to read the neon numbers showing on the screen.

7:12 a.m.

You had an email notification, nothing important, but it somehow managed to come through the ‘Do Not Disturb’ feature. You knew you wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep so you got up and padded barefoot into the kitchen.  

A smile curled up your lips when you saw the leftovers from your made-up holiday. There were a few cookies and muffins in a plate, a large bowl of cereals, and two dirty milkshake glasses on the counter.

It had been a fun and relaxing couple of days. You ate, talked, played board games, and watched movies in your fanciest loungewear attire. Bucky sought your touch more than usual and it left you a little confused. Every time he touched you, the line between feelings of friendship and feelings of love became blurred.

Bucky was an early riser, always up before you, dressed in his usual khakis and long sleeved Henley shirts with his hair slightly tousled. He looked effortlessly sexy and always had a warm smile for you even though you looked like a hot mess in your mismatched pyjamas, staggering into the kitchen, blindly following the smell of food cooking on the stove.

Today, the kitchen was silent. Bucky was probably still asleep, so you decided to cook breakfast. Maybe, if you were lucky, you’d catch him in his night clothes.

Wasting no time, you made a beeline for the coffee machine. You filled the water tank and measured fresh grounds into the filter, but your task was interrupted when you heard groans coming from somewhere nearby. You soon figured out that the sounds were coming from the living room.

Curious, you silently made your way toward the sound. The shades were up, and you could see the midnight blue sky fading into pastel hues of yellow and pink with the approaching dawn. Under any other circumstances, you would have been completely enraptured by its beauty, but something else caught your attention.

Bucky was standing upside down with his head on a yoga mat. His eyes were closed and his features were set in an expression of serious concentration. You half hid behind the wall and observed him.

You were impressed, his headstand was perfectly vertical and he was doing it without hand support, meaning that he was supporting his entire weight on his neck. He slowly lowered one toe back down, then the other, before he rested his forearm on the mat and lifted his butt toward the ceiling, his body forming a perfect inverted V.

“You’re up already,” he asked, sitting back on his haunches. “I can hear you breathing behind that wall.”

Busted...

You peeked out into the living room and cringed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you but that was sooo impressive.” You walked into the room and perched yourself on the arm of the sofa, facing Bucky who was kneeling at your feet. “How do you do that?”

He chuckled, his cheeks red from exertion and bashfulness. “Practice. Yoga’s good for building strength.”

He looked up at you with a boyish smile, his hair damp with perspiration. Beads of sweat dotted his forehead, rolling too close to his eyes and making him squint.

His pants left little to the imagination, the fabric stretched across his powerful thighs, and his sleeveless shirt clung to his drenched chest, outlining his muscles. Your eyes darted to his left shoulder where his stump was visible.

Despite living with him for over two months, you had never seen him in one of those sleeveless shirts before, though you couldn’t blame him since it was the middle of winter and you hadn’t been wearing any either. It was warm inside the apartment but not enough to walk around bare-armed.

“It’s easier to do yoga when the sleeve isn’t slapping me in the face every five seconds,” Bucky said, looking at his stump. “But I can cover it up if you prefer.”

“No! Of course not,” you rushed to say. “I’m sorry. That was really rude.”

“You were just looking, it’s only natural,” he said. “People are curious. Staring... well, staring is different.” His frown smoothed away and he turned to you with a smile. “Are you hungry?”

You smiled down at him. “Starving.”

“I’m gonna hop in the shower real quick, then I’ll start breakfast.”

“Actually, I was about to start cooking before I got distracted.” Bucky looked away, a slight blush covering his cheeks. “But I think we have plenty of food left over from last night.”

“We’re not eating cookies for breakfast,” he said. “We’ll save them for later. Right now we need something healthy.” He grinned as he pushed himself to his feet and ran upstairs. “I’ll be right back.”

You shook your head at his antics and returned to the kitchen to finish making coffee. After all he’d done for you, it was the least you could do. You knew Bucky liked cooking –and he was damn good at it- but sometimes you wondered if this was a fair arrangement.

He had given you a place to stay, money, food to eat, your own artist’s studio, and you had given him... nothing. Admittedly, you knew that your presence calmed him, comforted him. You gave him the emotional support he desperately needed and it was important, but he could also have adopted a pet.

Too tired for coffee or tea, you poured yourself a glass of orange juice, hoping it would wake you up. It worked but your self-deprecating thoughts were still playing havoc in your mind.

You were fixing Bucky’s coffee when he came back downstairs after his shower, and you were pleasantly surprised to find him wearing a clean sleeveless shirt. You met his eyes and found that he was watching you intently. You offered him a smile and leaned back against the kitchen counter.

“Looking good, James.”

He looked down at his feet with a bashful smile as he crossed the room slowly. You observed him in silence while he prepared breakfast for the two of you. It was a simple breakfast bowl with yogurt, granola, fresh fruits and honey but he somehow made it look like a gourmet dish.

“There you go, angel,” he said, setting your bowl in front of you. “What are you going to do today?”

You took a slice of kiwi and dipped in yogurt. “I think I’m going to paint. You?”

Bucky licked his spoon and you stared at it longingly before you quickly averted your eyes. No, you couldn’t be jealous of a goddamn spoon. Catch yourself on.

“I have an idea for a new book,” he said, running his tongue along his teeth to clean them before he spoke again. “I had a meeting with my agent last week. It went well, my old publisher really wants to work with me again. I’m signing my contract this afternoon.”

“Bucky!” you squealed after swallowing your mouthful of yogurt a little too fast. “That’s amazing!”

“Thank you,” he said, staring into nothing with wide eyes. “I’m nervous, scared and excited at the same time. It’s strange, y’know, all these feelings mixed together. It’s a bit overwhelming and I haven’t even started yet.”

“Don’t think too much,” you said. “You’ve done this before, you can do it again.”

“Yeah,” he replied, smiling.

You scraped your spoon around the bowl and licked it clean. “What’s it about? Is it a novel? Can I be in it?”

Bucky chuckled to himself and you figured that every single writer had friends who begged them to appear in their books. You couldn’t help it, the idea of living forever as ink on a page was too tempting.

“It’s not a novel,” he said. “It’s the third instalment of my series. The style is a little hard to explain but this is what I like to say: self-help book meets Bridget Jones’ Diary.”

“I tried to look you up but I couldn’t find anything written by a James Barnes or a Bucky Barnes.” You playfully narrowed your eyes at him. “Are you a fraud? Or are you using a pen name?”

He pretended to think about it. “I’m a fraud.”

“I knew it,” you mock-sighed.

Bucky took your bowl and placed it in the sink along with his. When he started cleaning them, you joined him and took a dish towel.

“I’ll tell you soon,” he spoke after a moment.

“It’s okay, take your time.”

You knew he wasn’t going to tell you what his pen name was, not now at least. His books were a reflection of his struggles, his success, and his fears, and you could understand why he preferred to keep you in the dark for now.

The people who read his books didn’t know him, they were just anonymous faces in a crowd but you were real. You were his friend, his new friend, and your opinion mattered.

“It’s been a couple of years since I’ve published my last book. My agent said that people haven’t forgotten about me but I still have to,” he made air quotes with his fingers, “’show my face’, just to remind everyone that I’m still writing.” He sighed.

“There’s a charity event next month at the museum of Natural History,” he continued. “It’s a huge event, a lot of important people will be there, including some of the most famous gallerists and curators in the country. You’re allowed to say no but,” he paused and turned to look at you, “do you want to come with me?”

You pressed your lips together while you mulled this over. There was no doubt in your mind that it was a great opportunity, one that you would have never had without Bucky, and you knew you had to say yes. But this was your least favourite part of being an artist.

You didn’t know how to sell yourself and you always felt like an arrogant asshat when you spoke about your paintings, even though you had every right to be proud of your work.

You had managed to persuade yourself that this new life would last forever. Eat, laugh, paint, repeat forever. But it wasn’t real. You had to put yourself out there, even if it made you uncomfortable because painting was only half your job.

Something else bothered you. You didn’t want to be the poor, struggling artist who took advantage of a charity event to make herself known. It seemed wrong and hypocritical.

You voiced your concerns to Bucky who looked at you with a pained expression.

“Yes, it’s a fundraiser but I can assure you that everyone at the party will be talking business and exchanging business cards,” he said. “And they’ll compensate with a huge donation to clear their guilty conscience. Is it false philanthropy? Absolutely, and I’m ashamed to say I’m one of them. You’re not taking advantage of a good cause, we are.”

“You’re nothing like them,” you said. “You’re kind and selfless, you’re a good person.”

“I’m not sure that’s true, angel,” he said with a tight smile.

When you opened your mouth to protest, he leaned forward and cupped the back of your head as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, ending the conversation. He had never done that before and you froze, feeling equal parts confused, incredulous and appreciated.

He pulled back and wiped down the sink with the sponge, acting like kissing you so sweetly was something completely normal, like he was unbothered. Meanwhile you just stood there wondering if you would ever be able to breathe normally again.

You pressed your lips together hard and tried to gather your thoughts but your mind was reeling. You were about to leave the room when your eyes landed on a pile of mail on the kitchen counter.

The first letter was a cheesy view of the Tower Bridge, the words ‘Greetings from London’ written in bold cursive letters across the postcard.

You only knew one person who still sent postcards.

Wanda.

“What’s this?” you asked, nodding toward the stack of mail.

Confused, Bucky looked to you then followed your line of sight and saw the mail. “Oh, Natasha dropped these off last night. She wanted to see you but you were already asleep.”

You nodded distractedly while you picked up the postcard. The sight of it filled you with anxiety. Your sister didn’t’ send these postcards often, but every time you received one it reminded you that things were different now. Gone was the happy and supportive family you used to cherish.  

Your breath caught in your throat as you read Wanda’s hastily written words.

I’m coming home.

She was coming home. A wave of nausea ran through you and your breathing came shallow and fast.

“Wow, wow, wow.” You felt Bucky’s hand at our waist, steering you toward a chair, and you realized your legs were giving way under you. “Deep breaths, angel. Look at me. There you go!”

“Sorry,” you said. “See what happens when you don’t let me eat cookies for breakfast?”

Bucky smiled at your poor attempt at humour. “Want to tell me what’s wrong?”

You debated telling him but you weren’t sure how to voice your concerns so you handed him the postcard instead. You had told Bucky about Wanda. She had disappeared after Pietro’s death, sending postcards from time to time as proof that she was still alive and well.

“Your sister is coming home.”

“Yeah,” you sighed. “I haven’t seen her for six years. She doesn’t know our mom has Alzheimer, she doesn’t know I sold our old childhood home. She keeps sending those postcards there. I gave the new owners Natasha’s address in case they still receive our mail. They’re very nice.” You let out a humourless laugh. “I had absolutely no idea what I was doing when I sold our house, and they could have taken advantage of me but they didn’t. I guess it’s not every day you buy a family house from a 24 year old girl. It probably screams tragic backstory, uh?”

“You did this on your own?”

“Yup.”

Bucky put his hand on your knee and gave you a comforting squeeze. “I’m sorry you had to go through this.”

You looked down at his thumb rubbing soothing circles just above your knee. “Yeah, it wasn’t easy.” You paused, then raised your head to look at him. “Living with you makes my life so much easier. I live in my own little bubble where I don’t have to be an adult. I feel like I can finally breathe. And I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for me and all you continue to do.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he replied, shaking his head. “We help each other. We’re good together.”

“Yes, of course,” you said with a smile. “But we both know it’ll have to end one day. It has to, one way or another. I want to be more independent, start my career and support my family. I don’t want to rely on others anymore. I want to rely on myself.”

“But there’s no rush, angel.”

“I know, but nothing’s gonna change if I stay in my little bubble. I have to do things that make me uncomfortable.”

“What are you trying to say exactly?”

“I’ll come with you to the fundraiser.”

Bucky’s eyebrows shot up in surprise but a smile broke across his face. “That’s great! But what about your sister?”

You shrugged. “There’s nothing I can do. She’ll probably go to our old house, realize it’s not ours anymore. If she’s lucky they’ll give her Natasha’s address. I’m sure she’ll have lots of questions but she can’t show up six years later and act like our bond is still intact. I’m not at her beck and call. I’m only responsible for myself and, Bucky, I’m so tired of trying to please everyone. I deserve to live my best life, goddammit.”

“I am so happy to hear you say that,” Bucky said, his smile blinding. “Celebratory cookie?”

“Yes! Two cookies, please,” you replied, out of breath. “I’m slightly freaking out.”

You spent the next couple of weeks planning for the event; painting, taking pictures of your work, posting them on Instagram, searching for gallerists and curators you wanted to work with and cross-checking the attendees.

Despite everything, you couldn’t help but wonder if Wanda was already in New York and if she was looking for you.

“Check this out!” you exclaimed, shoving a business card in Natasha’s face before you pushed past her to get into her apartment. “It’s official, I’m an artist.”

She laughed as she closed the door, her eyes on the card. “Hi, it’s nice to see you, too,” she deadpanned.

“Sorry, hi.”

“Well, looks like you’re all set. When’s the party?”

“Next week,” you replied, taking a seat on you former bed, her sofa. “I’m a little nervous, but also excited. I don’t know, it’s a strange feeling.”

Natasha pinned your business card onto the fridge using a magnet before she opened the refrigerator door and retrieved a bottle of orange juice. She took two glasses from the cupboard and joined you on the sofa.

“But, yeah, I’m ready. I have over two hundred business cards, I know who I want to work with, and I even bought an external battery pack just in case.”

“And what are you going to wear?” Natasha asked before taking a sip of orange juice. You looked at her with wide eyes, panic written all over your face. “You forgot to buy a dress,” she concluded out loud. “Why am I not surprised?”

“With everything going on, I completely forgot I had to... wear clothes.”

“I’m sure James wouldn’t mind seeing you in your birthday suit.” She laughed when you practically shoved her off the sofa. “Come on, I’ll help you look semi-decent.”

You groaned. “I don’t want to go shopping right now. Plus, I blew all my money on business cards.”

“Are you kidding me? It’s freezing outside, I’m not leaving my apartment,” she replied, reaching for her laptop. “You’re going to rent it.”

“Ew,” you made a face.

You remembered the formal wear store where you had rented your prom dress. The place smelled like moth balls and sweat, and the dress had given you a rash. Not a great memory.

“Trust me, I know this is your first but I’m a seasoned veteran. I’ve been to dozens of fundraisers, and I had to wear dozens of designer dresses. Do you even know how much a Saint Laurent evening gown cost? You can’t wear the same dress twice. That’s a big no-no. And it’s not just the dress. You need a clutch, a pair of shoes, jewelry, a coat. You have to rent them.”

“You’re giving me a headache.”

She opened up her web browser and typed in the website address for the dress rental. As she entered your size and budget, it was obvious that she knew her way around the website and you had to admit that it was a lot easier than traditional shopping.

You looked at the collection of dresses, not entirely convinced, when you found it. You instantly knew it was the right one.

You stared longingly at the beautiful wine-red dress, made entirely of velvet. The bodice was cut on the bias, the fabric draping itself elegantly to contour the shape of the model’s upper body. The skirt was long and flowing, and the waist was cinched in with a thin black belt.

You clicked on the second picture and Natasha let out a strangled gasp. The open back was draped at the waist and weighted with a crystal on a golden chain.

The dress gave off 1930s vibes, it was elegant and refined but the back was daring and sexy. It was exactly what you needed. You paired it with a black wool cape, and Natasha offered to let you borrow a pair of shoes, jewellery and a bag.

The dress and coat arrived the next day. The woman who delivered them was kind and polite, she stayed in the kitchen while you tried on the dress. Once you gave the all-clear, she handed you your receipt.

The dress was yours for an entire week.

On the day of the gala, you were a nervous, sweaty mess. Natasha’s clutch was on your nightstand, filled to the brim with business cards. Your hair and makeup were already done. You sat on your bed in your underwear, staring at the dress hanging in your closet.

“I can do this,” you whispered to yourself.

You were adjusting the fabric around your cleavage, making sure everything flowed nicely, when you heard Bucky shouting from the kitchen.

“The car will be there in fifteen minutes.”

You took a deep breath and smoothed your hands down the sides of your dress, the tickling caress of the velvet calming you almost instantly. You reached for the handle, your heart hammering in your chest, and opened the door.

Bucky was standing at the kitchen island, looking down at his phone. He looked up when he heard the sound of your door opening.

“Hey, are you-” The rest of his sentence died on his lips as he froze. He stood there, staring at you, his eyes roaming your body in a manner that could only be called amazement. “You look-” He shook his head as if he couldn’t find the right word.

You looked down at yourself, grinning. After weeks of seeing you in your big woolly jumpers, pyjamas and painting overalls, you could understand why this was a shock. It was one to you as well.

“You look beautiful,” he said, his voice sounding strangled.

“Thank you.” He stood a little straighter when he noticed you were checking him out. He wore a dark blue suit with black lapels, a white shirt and a black velvet bow tie. You matched. “You look like a real heartthrob in that suit.”

He laughed and looked away, embarrassed. It was your favourite look on him; when he couldn’t maintain eye contact and his cheeks were slightly red and his nose crunched up a little.

“You’re wearing your prosthetic,” you said, noticing the stiff arm and fake hand.

“Yeah,” he replied, looking at his left arm. “This thing itches like hell, but I don’t blend well in a crowd when I’m not wearing my prosthetic. These people know me, they’ll be looking for me. Let’s not make it too easy for them.”

He finished his sentence with a wink and your entire body threatened to spontaneously combust. Do people still wink? Apparently. You walked over to him and briefly stroked his arm before you walked past him to the bathroom.

It gave him a great view of your bare back and the little crystal nestled just above the small of your back. You didn’t see his reaction but you heard his sharp intake of breath.

You left the bathroom door open while you rummaged through your makeup bag, relief flowing through you when your fingers brushed against your favourite lipstick.

You straightened up and looked at yourself in the mirror. Bucky was leaning against the bathroom door frame, observing you. You uncapped the lipstick and brought it to your lips, locking eyes with him in the mirror.

“Don’t worry, I’m almost ready.”

“I’m not worried,” Bucky replied with a mischievous smile. “Please, carry on.”

You rolled your eyes at his sudden smug expression, trying to look unbothered, but you could feel his eyes on you and you willed your hands to stop shaking. Today was not the day to look like Miranda Sings.

“What’s it called?” Bucky asked from the threshold, spellbound.

“No idea, the label has faded,” you said, rubbing your lips together to smudge your lipstick. “It has probably expired by now, my mom gave it to me when I was a kid.” You blotted your lips and tossed the balled tissue into the wastebasket. “She called it ‘Carter Red’.”

You dabbed the lipstick on your lips. “When we were kids, we used to watch her apply her lipstick. We thought she was the most sophisticated woman in the world. When she was done, she’d turn to us and ask ‘Who wants red lips?’ Then we’d leave the house in our matching red lips.”

Bucky entered the bathroom and took a seat on the edge of the tub. “Did your brothers wear red lipstick too?” he asked with a grin.

You laughed. “Pietro did. Scott was more into nail polish.”  

“Do you think I can pull it off?”

You turned to him with a wicked grin and waved your lipstick in his direction. He stood when you took a step closer to him. He seemed to enjoy the playful glint dancing in your eyes. You beckoned him closer like some kind of old witch.

“I’m sure you’d look real cute with lipstick all over your face,” you said, taunting him with your tube of lipstick.

Something in his expression changed, darkened, making you feel hot and cold at the same time. His eyes travelled down your face to your lips, then back up to your eyes. “Yeah, I’d really like that,” he spoke so softly you almost missed it.

It was your turn to freeze. You parted your lips to speak but nothing came out, you just blinked hard and stared at him incredulously, waiting for him to explain what that meant. But he never did, and you took a step back.

Did he just...? Did he just try to kiss you? No! No, that’s silly. Why would he want to kiss you? He was just being playful and you simply projected your own desires onto him.

He took a step back too and gave an imperceptible nod. “The car should be here any minute,” he said, smiling. It was a tight smile and you didn’t like it at all. “I’ll let you get ready.”

After he closed the door behind him, you dumped your lipstick back into your makeup bag and took a long look at yourself in the mirror. You looked deflated, miserable. You sighed... the night was off to a great start.

Bucky waited for you while you finished getting ready. You picked up your clutch, slid your feet into a pair of high-heel shoes, and struggled with your cape until Bucky came to your rescue. To your surprise, his smile was genuine again, and it made your heart soar. Maybe you had just misread the situation and he wasn’t upset, offended –or whatever that tight smile was.

The heels were higher than you were used to, but Bucky gave you an arm to hang onto. The sky was already dark when you arrived at the Museum of Natural History. You walked up the stairs and left your coats in the coat-check room before you took a look around the room.

Hundreds of people were milling around the hall, a glass in their hand as they weaved between the jaw-dropping dinosaur skeletons that were on display. You kept your arm linked through Bucky’s and tried not to stare at anyone.  

“Be careful,” Bucky whispered in your ear, making you perk up. “Someone once told me that the exhibits come to life after the sun sets.”

“Remind me to stay away from the Biodiversity Hall,” you chuckled. Then you spotted one of the curators you wanted to work with, you let go of Bucky’s arm and squared your shoulders. “Showtime. Wish me luck.”

“Good luck, angel.”

“God, I’m sweating. Is it noticeable?”

Bucky smiled at you. “No, you look perfect.”

You gave him a grateful smile. “Thanks. I hope I won’t make a fool of myself. I hate small talk.”

As soon as you were gone, someone took your place by Bucky’s side. You grabbed a flute of champagne from a passing waiter and made your way over to the curator. You didn’t drink alcohol but the glass made you look like you were part of their little group.

It went horribly wrong; you stuttered when you said your name and everything went downhill after that. While you were talking, he subtly looked around to see if he could find a more interesting person to talk to, which made you stutter even more. Then as you opened your clutch and fished out a card, several others fell at your feet in slow motion.

Between the dress, the glass and the shoes, it was practically impossible to bend over. The curator left and you stood there alone.

“Let me help you,” one of the waiters said. He gathered up your business cards and handed them to you.

You sheepishly took the cards and shoved them back in your purse. “Thanks. Can you take this? I’m not going to drink it.”

“Would you like something else to drink?” he asked as he took your glass of champagne.

“No, thank you. I... I think I’m going to go find my friend.”

You smiled politely at the young man but he had a strange look on his face. He looked like he wanted to say something but hesitated.

“I saw you with Mr. Thomas,” he finally said. “I’m not supposed to talk to the guests but can you tell him I love his work.”

“I’m sorry I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Grant Thomas,” the waiter pressed on. “The writer. I saw you two together.” Then he leaned forward and whispered, “He only has one arm.”

Oh...

Grant Thomas was Bucky’s pen name.  

Your face broke out into a huge smile and you started giggling to yourself. The waiter recoiled a bit, confused and a little freaked out. You scanned the room for Bucky.

“Of course, I’ll tell him,” you told the waiter. “He’ll be very pleased to hear it.”

You went in search of Bucky, wobbling around in your high heels, a permanent smile on your face. After walking around for a few minutes, you felt more stable and in control, even going so far as to power walk from room to room.

You found him in the Hall of Ocean Life, entertaining a small group of people. You walked over to him, your heels clicking like typewriter keys. You heard bits and pieces of their conversation as you approached.

“Oh, it’s absolutely lovely,” a woman cooed, a hand over her heart. “Who was your inspiration for your new book, Grant?”

Bucky’s eyes widened slightly when he saw you. You gave him a small wave and he held out his hand in your direction. He introduced you to the group, and while it was strange to hear him say your name, you kept a straight face.

“I’ve looked everywhere for you, Grant,” you told him, emphasizing his pen name. “I should have known I'd find you in good company.”

“Oh, she’s the painter,” the woman said. “Darling, I hope you don’t mind me saying this but-” she extended her arms in your direction “wow!”

The woman next to her looked half amused, half exasperated. “It means you look beautiful in that dress.”

“Oh, she knows what it means, Sylvia.” The ‘oh’ woman swatted Bucky’s fake arm. “Grant, isn’t she gorgeous?”

Bucky looked at you with a fond smile. “Yes, she is.”

“Oh, my heart is about to explode,” the ‘oh’ woman squealed before enthusiastically waving to someone behind Bucky. “Sylvia, darling, take her contact details. We need new blood at the gallery. Please, excuse me, I haven’t seen Michael in ages,” she said, stretching out the last word.

She was gone before you could comprehend what was happening. Her laughter echoed through the room. Oh, I hadn’t seen the back of that dress! Sweet baby Jesus!

You found her whimsical and quite intense but if you had to work for her, you’d probably end up looking like her assistant, Sylvia, who seemed at her wits’ end.

She sighed and opened her leather-bound notebook. There were several business cards attached to the pages with paperclips. You handed her one of your business cards as her boss shouted, Oh, Michael, isn’t this party deliiightful? It was Sylvia’s cue to leave.

“Thank you. We’ll take a look at your work and get back to you as soon as we can. Enjoy your night.”

Sylvia rushed to her boss who was looking around like a lost puppy. When she saw her assistant, a look of relief crossed her face. It was a little over the top but it made you smile.

“So, Grant Thomas,” you said, planting yourself directly in front of Bucky now that you were alone. “Cute name.”

“Agh, I wanted to tell you before the party but...” He shrugged. “How did you figure it out?”

“One of the waiters saw us together. He’s your biggest fan. Said you were talented, humble and devilishly handsome in that suit.”

“The waiter said that?” Bucky asked with a frown as he led you toward an empty corridor.

“I think he has a crush on you.”

“I seem to have that effect on people,” he said, linking his arm through yours.

“So humble.” You entered the Hall of Biodiversity together. “What’s the meaning behind your pen name?”

There was a small pause before he answered. “Grant is Steve’s middle name, Thomas is Sam’s. I wanted to honor them. Steve literally saved my life, and Sam... well, he stood by my side even when we barely knew each other.”

“I’m sure they were touched.”

“Meh,” Bucky said with a grimace. “Steve said it sounded like a fake name, and Sam tried to make me use ‘Thomas Grant’ instead. I think deep down they like it.” He turned his head to look at you. “How did it go with the curator?”

You cringed. “Just to give you an idea, imagine an amateur magician performing at their first show. I was sweating, I stuttered, and I dropped my cards. It was awful.”

He laughed softly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’m not upset. At least he’ll remember me, right?”

You spent the next couple of hours mingling with a bunch of rich people; most of them were incredibly weird, the others were strangely relatable. You were a lot more cool and collected with Bucky by your side. He always had really nice things to say about you or your paintings, and his words rang true, giving you yet another reason to fall for him.

When you reached the planetarium, Bucky took your hand in his, his eyes sparkling with childlike wonder.

You practically had the place to yourselves, everyone else was either in the Grand Gallery or in the Roosevelt Memorial. Since no one was around, you decided to take your shoes off and walk around barefoot.

You lost track of time, listening to Bucky’s stories about the universe as he guided you along the spiralling walkway.  

“We’re just tiny little specks living on a bigger speck, floating around,” he said, gazing up at a model of Jupiter hanging from the ceiling. “Our time here is so limited, our bodies are so fragile.”

“Umm,” you hummed. “At least we’re not at the bottom of the food chain.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, that would be a bummer.”

“Do you know who’s at the bottom of the food chain?” you asked. “French fries. I’m starving.”

His laughter rang out, loud and clear, in the silence of the planetarium. “C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

You headed for the coat-check room, where Bucky left one of his ridiculously generous tips, and stepped outside, shivering from the cold winter night. You looked up at the stars glistening in the dark sky while you walked the short distance to the fast food restaurant.

You ate your fries in silence as you glanced around the restaurant. It was bright and gave off a friendly vibe. There were several other patrons even though it was almost two in the morning, though you and Bucky were the only ones wearing designer clothes.

Your high heels and clutch rested on the booth next to your hip, and Bucky’s bow tie was tied around your wrist. The top two buttons of his shirt were undone, revealing a tanned, muscular chest and a smattering of dark hair.

Bucky had removed his prosthetic after you’d found a booth. His fake arm rested on the table, scaring the hell out of the waitress when she came to take your order. Bucky apologized profusely, probably mentally adding another twenty to her tip.

You dozed off in the cab, utterly exhausted, your cheek resting against his shoulder. His arm was draped over your shoulders, his thumb sweeping up and down your collarbone. When you remembered that you still had to remove your makeup before going to bed, you let out a whine and nestled closer to him. He rested his head on top of yours, and you closed your eyes, enjoying his closeness.

A few days later, you told Natasha about the party, and she reminded you to be careful, to protect your heart. She wished someone had given her this advice when she’d met Sam.

It had never occurred to you that Natasha might have feelings for Sam, not because he was an awful person. No, it was quite the opposite. He was handsome and funny, always looking for some kind of trouble. She’d mentioned multiple times that he was really good in bed, which honestly didn’t surprise you.

You knew she liked him, but you didn’t know she liked him.

On your way home, you mulled over the things she had told you. About a block away from your apartment, you took your keys out of your pocket and stared at the little angel keychain, wondering if your feelings for Bucky were real. The line between friends and lovers was definitely blurred but you couldn’t cross it. There was too much at stake, you couldn’t risk ruining your friendship.

As you turned the corner into your street, you spotted someone standing outside the building’s front door. You slowed down, dawdled, so you could observe them.

You couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman, though you suspected a man. They were carrying a traveller’s backpack on their shoulders, blocking your view. Whoever it was, they had a fantastic ass.

They pushed the intercom button, waited a few seconds and pushed it again. When the doors remained closed, they turned around to leave and you came face-to-face with a man with long dirty blond hair, a bushy ginger beard and striking baby blue eyes. You immediately recognized him from the photos you’d seen on Bucky’s laptop.

“Oh my God, Steve!” you exclaimed, startling him.

Part 8

[thisdreamplace]

Hi, what would you (or a general person) think/feel/act like if they were happily employed with a major paycheck?

I'm asking coz i feel blockage when I try to imagine living in the state of this manifestation. Fears of being incompetent at interviews and unable to answer questions properly or rambling crop up when I try to even imagine having that amazing job

Worse, I mean not worse, coz ik circumstances shouldn't matter, thing is idk idek the specifics of the ideal company or ideal job post of my desire

Ik I want eg:

an exorbitant salary (financial independence), even tho I fear I won't be able to negotiate at all (I'm not exactly a bargainer)

a role of responsibility where i can learn from the higher ups while inspiring those below, with a level of autonomy

Work that's not tedious or repetitive

So on and so forth

Even tho I don't have much job xp (again, Im prolly invalidating myself here, coz the fact is, I've come to realise even if I win a Nobel Prize, I'll keep feeling I haven't done 'enough'), I do have amazing, hard-as-hell-to-get qualifications (and again... I feel I'm not enough like wth whyyy? ;_; I've met so many people who've got half of these qualifications yet they're more confident and can actually flaunt that while I feel, not like an imposter, but ig worthless when compared)

The worst is Ive always freaking felt it in my bones I'm worthy of a higher role than my current self can achieve (by current self I'm referring to the fact that I do have issues eg nightmare interviews in the past hovering over me, beliefs of being incompetent or unqualified or being unable to answer difficult questions (since I was a child, I've been told, disparagingly alas, that I'm only 'book smart' and could only ace studies by 'rote learning', which is untrue. In fact thanks to that, I actually developed a memory issue whereby I'm unable to memorize stuff easily (btw one of my secrets to academic success has been understanding concepts, mind mapping it all mentally, having a solid grip over foundations etc. Ok I digressed) anyhow, I really do feel unprepared to answer questions (in fact one of my fears is being asked an intrusive question (like hey, why are you eg so pimply? (Btw I'm not, this is just an example) in front of everyone and being at the center of attention in that way 😱) so yeah, I hope you can sense the myriad of beliefs holding me back (and sometimes I feel nauseated to even think of 'facing' these beliefs or fears. Like, it's as I wrote to u rn that I realised I fear looking incompetent, except this case is so severe coz I feel like it's worthless if it's not done perfectly (or as near perfect))

So how do I manifest here? Hell, my mind starts hurting if I assert: okay, let's at least prepare, no, at least LOOK at a job interview question

Ik the Law says I can assume anything and that'll work. So how do I assume I'm, y'know, a confident gal who does not have the aforementioned state of mind? Or how do I defuse the root issues linked to childhood/past stuff? Or better yet, what state should I focus on assuming/taking on? I have no idea how to start. And thanks to analysis paralysis (it took me years to acknowledge this even) I'll end up prolly doing nothing then another month will pass by with me doing nothing and then I'll type another frenzied ask

PS: yep, Im aware of the self concept topic, but I hope u can shed some light on this specific matter at hand, kinda customized?

Ty

😰

So to begin with, scratch everything and literally focus on your self-esteem and your concept of self. No, you don't need a good self esteem to manifest, but I'm really passed pretending like it should be optional. Every one of us deserves to feel good about ourselves, for ourselves. And you're holding yourself back so much by not allowing yourself to feel good about who you are. I mean, you list how accomplished you are and yet it's still not good enough for you?

It's confusing because if you felt in your bones you were worthy of something better, how can you sit there and but yourself down so easily? Your reality is giving you what you actually feel worthy of. And it's not what you desire.

You're the only one holding yourself in this story. You know the law says everything is happening now, meaning all desired experiences and versions of yourself are available to you now. You tap into them by using your imagination and dwelling there. So, stop sticking yourself to this story that doesn't help you. You feel unprepared because you keep saying so. You keep replaying this memory of things going badly, when in reality there's not even a past. You're the one keeping it alive by being so consumed by it and thinking it's so real. But see, the past only exists in your mind. It doesn't exist elsewhere. And just like with everything else in our mind, we have the power to decide what is and is not so.

Plus, the comparison game has got to come to an end. Everyone is you pushed out anyway. A win for one person, is a win for all. Who are you comparing yourself to, besides a reflection in the mirror? There's no point. The more you let go of the old way of thinking and allow yourself to remember more and more who you truly are, the easier it'll be to let go of wanting to compare yourself all the time. It's literally your reality. It's your world and everyone else is just living in it. Seriously. You're literally at the center of your world. You're at the heart of it all, there is no one else but self.

Self concept isn't something to push to the side. I notice a lot of people know about it and then go, "ehh but what else is there?" Like, I did the same thing. And that's why my journey was full of detours when I could have just went straight to my destination.

How do you do this? Well, you do have some idea of who you want to be. I mean, I'm guessing you want to be the opposite of every undesirable trait/experience you mentioned? So therefore, (if you want to write it down, please do), you need to decide the mindset you want to focus on manifesting within yourself. Let the outer world be for a bit, it's time to focus on you and only you. Here's an article that gives an example of how to get clear on the version of you that you want to embody.

And then once you get clear on that, really, the only task you have is to wake up everyday and thrive to focus on keeping that mindset. Sure you might slip up, sure some days you may not do well keeping it at all, but it doesn't matter. You keep persisting and it gets easier and becomes your new normal.

You see, I like how Dylan James says manifesting is not a trying process because it makes sense. For example, you didn't try to end up with the experiences you have surrounding career right now. However, you manifested it due to your concept of self. Change your conception of self and without trying, that perfect career you desire will find you. It can be that simple. But we have to allow it to be. Plus, you really only need to focus on yourself. You don't need to have a list that consists of your must-haves in a job, or anything. (Unless you truly like to make lists like that.) Because the truth is, our desires are from God. Therefore, we never need to worry about telling our Godself what we want. Our Godself already knows. So if you are unclear, you can trust you'll be lead exactly where you want to go. Being specific or being general makes no difference and it's okay to approach manifesting with either one. You'll always come out successful no matter what. But the change begins within. There is no one to change but self.

Hopefully this is helpful! You got this! 💖

[isthatbloodonhisshirt]

If you could change ten things about Teen Wolf what would you change??

OMG BUCKLE DOWN BECAUSE IT’S GONNA BE A LONG ONE! Do asks have a word limit? Guess we gonna find out! (Sometimes I wish I could speak these replies, they sound much funnier when I am speaking out loud to myself and then they are just weird and flat typed up but I DIGRESS! I do that a lot, have you noticed? Doesn’t matter.)

(Also, I did put a “Keep Reading” but for some reason it’s not working. Or it’s not showing as working on my end. But it’s right under this paragraph I swear so if it’s not working, that isn’t on me....)

1) SO! Trauma. People be dealing with their traumas. That’d be a thing I’d like, thank you. Like, I’m sorry, but there is a fuckton of trauma in this show and everyone like, goes to bed at night and wakes up cured. Like MAGIC! I mean, yes, I get that magic is a thing in the show (is it? I mean kind of? Idk, I never saw past season 4, they alluded to magic and then SNATCHED THAT AWAY so, side-note, that’s coming up later!) But yes, I would’ve very much liked for people to, you know, deal with their traumas in a realistic fashion. Let’s get some therapy going, or like, idk, some actual negative reactions to thing! They kind of had that with Stiles every now and then, but he seemed to be up and down episode to episode so like, it’d be like they wrote an episode where he reacts to what happened to him and then four episodes have gone by where he’s fine and the writers were like “OH YEAH SHIT HE JUST MURDERED LIKE A WHOLE HOSPITAL, make him have a panic attack randomly over dropping milk, that balances out, excellent, we’re so smart.” So yes. DEAL. WITH. THE. TRAUMA! Thanks.

2) LESS CHARACTERS, MORE DEVELOPMENT! I mentioned this in another recent ask about relationships but like, they just kept shoving characters in there. Like one of those clown cars. So we got like, 30% character development on the core group and then the rest was like “wait, who are you again?” Like, legit, I have a bad memory, you put too many people in front of me, I ain’t gonna remember them unless they have a good personality or a reason to be there. And like, develop their relationships! Not even romantically, but like, Scott’s mom loves Scott, that is sweet and lovely, but like, we never really… see… that… developed? Idk man, like again, I have a bad memory, but when you really develop relationships WELL (ex: Brooklyn-nine-nine), that shit sticks with you and you CARE about people. The friendships are important, and the familial relationships are important and just developing all the dynamics is important! They spent more time showcasing how much everyone hated each other and lied to each other and stuff and that just got really tiring. Yes, you’re allowed to get mad at your friends, but if you’re a Werewolf, and your human friend is calling you when there is a fucking monster running around killing people, can you maybe stop making out with your girlfriend and answer your phone so your friend isn’t treading water with a 200+ pound Werewolf for 2 hours? Like, JUST SAYING! (Spoiler alert: Me and Scott would not be close friends. Like, I think we’d be friends, but not so much that I’d trust him with my life. If I wanted to grab pizza and a movie, maybe play some video games, he sounds like a treat, but if my life was in danger, thanks I be callin’ someone who answers their phone).

3) Actual consequences for their actions! Okay like, I am also guilty of this in fanfic, but at the same time, my writing is free, I don’t get paid for it, and I write what I want because that’s how it works, so I can do whatever I please (If I wanna make the Hales royalty for the millionth time, ain’t nobody gonna stop me!). But like, when you are a legit paid screenwriter who is writing a show? Consequences! Just because it’s a show about Werewolves doesn’t mean there can’t be any consequences! Like, the best scene, and I feel like we can agree, because fuck it like, hurt my soul and my heart and I was just so like ;~; was when the sheriff got fired (fired? suspended? TEMPORARILY UNEMPLOYED!) because Stiles stole a police van when they locked Jackson up in it. Like, that shit was REAL LIFE CONSEQUENCES for actions, and that shit was intense and it HURT and omg I loved it! Give me more of that! Like, I’m sorry, but you gonna tell me Nogistune!Stiles walked through the hospital murdering a bazillion people and not one camera was working the whole time? Not one? Nobody saw that? Nobody went “hey, isn’t that the sheriff’s kid?” Like, CAN. YOU. IMAGINE?! That would’ve been so amazing, a bunch of episodes of the pack scrambling to keep the Supernatural a secret while also trying to stop Stiles from GETTING ARRESTED because saying “Sorry ma’am, I was possessed by a demon fox who likes chaos and thought murdering a bunch of people would be fun” ain’t gonna fly in court and the FBI sure isn’t gonna believe that but like, UGH! Again, bad memory, but was the fact that Dark!Stiles wandered through the hospital killing people EVER brought up again???? CONSEQUENCES. Woulda really liked that.

4) STOP with unnecessary romances. Like, yeah, I get it, the allos like their romances, but shockingly, you can still have a good show without focussing on the romance. Like, it can be there, I’m not saying don’t put it in, I’m saying DON’T MAKE IT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING! Like, the entirety of season one was Scott chasing Allison and Stiles chasing Lydia. This… this does not make an interesting show? Like, is that just me? And then as the season progressed, EVERYONE had to be in a relationship? WHY? Again, haven’t seen past season four, but I mean, I know Scott and Kira were a thing, and then Stiles and Malia, and Liam and some… person? Idk. And Ethan and Danny (congrats Jeff, you get to tick your “I had representation in my show!” box, well done, gold star, or whatever). And Isaac and Allison, and Melissa and Chris (apparently?). And then Stydia was alluded as being canon, and Scott ended up with Malia somehow?? And Derek slept with half the town and all of Mexico, idek. Like, stop it. Stop. Shows work without everything being about everyone banging each other. (See again: Brooklyn-nine-nine, or Avatar the Last Airbender, or The Good Place, or even fucking Supernatural!) You can have a good, interesting story without everyone banging each other. It ain’t necessary.

5) More actual storytelling (again, this woulda worked better without the unnecessary romances taking up 49 of the 50 minutes of air-time). Like, yes, I get it, pilot’s gotta have some pizzaz! Gotta be spicy and sparkly to make people interested (and like, fucking hell, all I can remember of the pilot is sobbing Allison soaking wet–LIKE, WAS THAT NECESSARY???–about the dog she hit and oh noes is it dead well thank God the lead character works for a vet! And somehow has keys and access to the whole clinic like nbd at all hours? Whatever. I wasn’t even allowed inside my blockbuster as a shift lead if it was off-hours but apparently a high school student doing paperwork at a vet clinic is different, I’m not a vet so what do I know? I HAD A BAD DAY OKAY, I GOT FEELINGS ABOUT THIS RN!) I went off-topic, what was I saying? Oh yes, storytelling. You know what woulda been nice? Werewolves! It happens, we find out about Laura, we find out about Werewolves, Scott gets bitten, all that jazz. And then like… ease in the Hunters? Like, why was there Laura/Derek, Peter, AND the Hunters all crammed into the pilot? Yes, I get it, you need the SUSPENSE and the DRAMA, but you can do that without the Hunters right off the bat. Just, how CONVENIENT~ that the same day Derek and Laura come back, Hunters move to town? That’s just lazy, and again, I can be guilty of laziness, I admit to it, but I literally get paid in—like, do hearts count? I get paid in hearts and pats on the back for my fics, I can write whatever I want. If you’re getting paid to write something, try a bit harder, yes? Yes???

What number am I on? Oh good Lord, I got things to say, okay.

6) MAGIC! Can you like—I feel like this one is self-explanatory. Stiles did the whole mountain ash thing in season one, and it was SO PROMISING, and then that just died. It died like Maes Hughes getting shot in a phonebooth (spoiler, but really, you haven’t seen that yet, that’s a you problem). Why even bother introducing magic if you weren’t gonna use it? Like, was it because people like Stiles more than Scott and the showrunner was like “nonono. If we make him magic, he’s TOO cool, and then Scott is unimportant.” I mean, you coulda worked that in your favour, but no. You just murdered the fuck out of it, like straight up took it out back and shot it. Like, yeah, Derek went kiddo again and Jennifer was apparently all magic beauty spell or whatever, but like?? That’s it??? You had a show about Werewolves and you didn’t even try to make it more interesting by making some of the characters magic? Lydia’s basically the closest and they didn’t even explain her powers that well. Magic would’ve been dope and they totally shoved that to the side. That was dumb. Shoulda done something with that.

7) Explain things more? Don’t mention them once and then do nothing? Like, we got some brief stuff about anchors, and emissaries (which are super duper secret according to Deaton but then like, EVERYONE KNOWS HE IS EMISSARY SO WHICH IS IT DEATON? YOU TELL ME!) Like, they had so much opportunity to talk about so many things and again, maybe that comes out more in the later seasons, idk, but they likely coulda done with more explanations and they didn’t and this angers me GREATLY. They mention something once and then it never comes up again. That’s some Lost bullshit right there. Don’t start something if you’re not gonna commit. You tell me the beginning of the story, I wanna fucking know the end, don’t forget halfway through and wander away, that ain’t right, I NEED ANSWERS JEFF! And like, as above, never really got Lydia’s powers. I know what a Banshee is, but her powers did NOT make sense to me. Idk, could just be that I’m dumb, but similarly, don’t write something so convoluted that it confuses people, that is also dumb. As dumb as I am so like, well done there. And also do we get more on Parrish? I know he’s a Hellhound, but how does one get born a Hellhound and not know until you are conveniently lit on fire by someone trying to kill you for money? (Also, you bean, you absolute treasure, “I’m worth five dollars?” You’re so cute. Silly child.) I feel like being a Hellhound is something that woulda come up before getting barbecued in his cruiser. Like, he works a stressful job, you gonna tell me not ONCE while getting shot at he didn’t have a massive heart attack over a close call and like, burst into flames? No? Is that just a me thing? I feel like the slightest annoyance and I’d be fully on fire, not gonna lie. (I’d be on fire a LOT… CLEARLY I AM AN ANGRY PERSON! No, that’s not true. No yes it is, I am angry, but more angry lately because I’m sleep-deprived and work is dumb ANYWAY back to this)

8) EMBRACE THE SIDE CHARACTERS! Okay, so MAYBE Scott is meant to be the golden child. The Dick Grayson of the show, if you will. The original Robin, the creme de la creme. That’s all fine and dandy if he is, no judgement (little judgement), but you know what you don’t do when your side characters are getting a lot of attention and love? What you DO NOT do is give them less screen time. Because then you’re being petty and, shockingly, you get more positive results when you give the fans what they want. I’m not talking about pairings, because everyone is different, and you can’t cater to everyone, but like, the more people moved away from liking Scott, the harder the showrunners pushed him into our faces. And like, that isn’t how this works. If I like side character 87 a lot, and the lead’s getting annoying, you know what’s gonna make me NOT watch the show? Cutting out side character 87 (hey, for shits and gigs, let’s call him DANNY, just, not coincidentally at all) and then just shoving the lead into my face. That is what makes someone go “Well, four seasons is enough, I can happily live knowing I didn’t waste my life watching two more of them.” Like??? I’m not saying cut out Scott, because the show is ABOUT Scott, but the more everyone tried to showcase how amazing and wonderful and pure and perfect he was, the more annoying it got? Like, Scott has flaws. THEY ALL HAVE FLAWS! If you don’t admit that they all have flaws, it gets boring, and you hate the characters. I know that Scott turned into a douche later (apparently, again, haven’t seen it), but even in the early seasons by trying to make him this pure True Alpha golden angel child who spreads love and hope and trusts everyone, it just got boring. He was vanilla, and also a bad friend, because he was too “perfect” to be around someone “imperfect” like Stiles, and even like, the rest of the pack overall. He was always put on a pedestal and it made the show really… irksome? Idk, I just feel like yes, SCOTT is the Teen Wolf, but you added all these damn side characters, maybe use them a bit more? At least Stiles was interesting, and Lydia was fucking badass, and fucking hell, if you’d done right by Boyd and Erica, the actors wouldn’t have left for better shows so like, come on man, you coulda done better. We coulda had such a dope show, why you gotta crush my dreams like that Jeff? What did I ever do to you?

I know this is only eight, but this is long enough, if I go two more, this is gonna be IN.SANE. And also it’s late and I haven’t finished my fic for the day (I mean, I’m almost done, but I’m not done yet!) So like, I’ma stop here. But yes, hopefully this answered your question. Sorry I got REALLY PASSIONATE about it but it’s been a day.

Also, I feel this needs to be said, but obviously these are my own personal opinions, and as opinions, you are not obligated to agree with them. But you are also not allowed to tell me my opinion is wrong. You can disagree with it, but this is an opinion, not a law, so there is no right and wrong. Don’t @ me, my day’s been bad enough kthx!

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, BE BACK IN LIKE TWENTY(?) MINUTES!

[fiovske]

I was checking out d20's yt channel and i wasnt sure what to watch or where to start. I wanted to ask if you had any recs to start with? Im working on distancing myself from cr too lately and d20 sounds good.

OOOOHH I STARTED WITH FANTASY HIGH!!! AND WAS HOOKED RIGHT AWAY!!! I'm on like ep7 right now and so far the humour the friendships the characters themselves and their dynamics w each other... everything has been honestly SO GOOD. I think they got all of fantasy high junior year on YouTube already and The Unsleeping City is being updated to youtube regularly every Friday or so. there much be two/three episodes out already. You could watch this one shot heist thing d20 did w the McElroy brothers and another one shot (four eps, I think) they did of like, an Evil Campaign that had Matt Mercer in it too!! it comes to me highly recommended as well, even tho I haven't watched it yet.

I am excited to watch A Crown of Candy eventually (it's got extremely good political intrigue game of thrones done Right vibes but with their pcs-npcs... it's all.... candy. like. idek what to SAY their range is just Like That LMAO.) and then Pirates of Leviathan as well (it has marisha and Matt too!! as pcs in that Campaign), I'm considering signing up to their Dropout bc their content is honestly very good and it's nice to have rep that's absolutely outright and forthright so we don't have to second guess or anything tbh, Fantasy High is an excellent starting point to get the vibe of their playstyle! I have also started listening to Partizan by Friends At The Table (it's a podcast) and off the bat, the rep w the pcs itself is just downright. right there. absolutely fantastic stuff. the introductions will tell you what to expect. the worldbuilding is very extensive and the trailer itself had me hooked. I'm failiarizing myself w the characters first but I keep the transcript open in front of me while listening to them bc I'm still getting the hang of their game, which is ttrpg but it isn't d&d it's on a beamsaber medium and I don't know much about it (yet) but I'm slowly understanding it better w the help of transcripts bc visual media helps me get a better grip on things. I'm also watching the Owl House lately!! it's been a riot too and it's lighthearted and fun and also has canon wlws who are the protagonist and complicated sibling dynamics so I'm excited to see where it goes as well!

coming back to your original question, I'd recommend starting w fantasy high. junior year is all out on YouTube and the cast are amazing in the portrayal of their characters and getting into all sorts of hijinks you're going to love them, that is a promise!

[jiwonsssi]

— stress relief, p. 2

All well that ends well.

Warnings: its pure pwp, idek where to start

Characters: Eun Jiwon/Sandara Park

Realisation of the upcoming uneasy conversation came upon Dara at the moment when he finally stopped a car in front of her apartment building; Jiwon was tensed at the point that even air was thick around them. He tried his best to afford it; to fail miserably. Dara could tell that he's stressed, because he squeezed the steering wheel to the point of white knuckles.

She wanted to break the atmosphere, to say something, that would ease his nerves. But what would that be? 'I didn't mean that, you know. You misunderstood. Hehe'.

No, Sandara doesn't want to take her words back. But the atmosphere now is changed. A lot. They barely even talked after he took her our of the event.

She said exactly what she meant to say. But with what have she been thinking when asking it; only God knows.

She was nervous as well. And it was no less obvious - tugging on the hem of her dress and not even looking at him; feeling like a teenage girl again. But shes not teenager anymore, right? It was her who said that, it's not like she can just bury her head in sand now.

So Dara found all the courage she had to ask him again.

Dear Lord and God and Jesus and someone out there, she had never did anything like that. Never in her life she stuck in a situation like that; Jiwon never helped her. Though he was never easy.

- So, I.. - she looked at the panel of his car, scanning with eyes smooth black plastic like it was the most fascinating thing she ever saw, - Look, I, um, it's not like I want to take my words back. In fact, I'd hate to, but I..

She hears him laughing all of sudden and looks at him with all anger she can manage. She was trying to say important staff! With all her courage! What audacity he really holds, huh.

- Don't make excuses, we both understand what it was, okay? You look ridiculous right now, - he continues smiling and Dara doesn't feel offended or something. They indeed understand. Yeah.

Dara smiles at him, nodding. She has no idea what should she understand.

- Coffee? You helped me earlier and took me home, I need to thank you now anyway, - atmosphere is still a little tense but it's not awkward anymore. She doesn't feel out of place. She has met him a few times and it all was in uncomfortable circumstances; yet she was always okay. It's all on him, right?

Jiwon helps her everytime in the end.

- Sure, - he agrees maybe a little too quickly. Maybe. And maybe she smiles a little too wide, - Let's go.

Fresh air feels incredible and Dara takes a few extra seconds to inhale; she had been crying like a bear just an hour ago and memories are still vivid. Her knees a little weak and hands shake slightly; it's difficult to make it to the elevator on heels, but she manages. She can sense that Jiwon waits for her by not walking too fast. And that is the part of a reason why she doesn't feel like falling to the floor and crying till the next morning.

- Aren't you tired? I can make it, - he stands a few steps away, burying his hands deep in the pockets and looking a lot more relaxed. Dara hopes that his brain is no longer filled with unnecessary thoughts and she's really happy about it, - I mean, your shoes. And in general. You know, the whole evening, all that cameras, people around..

He's rumbling and it's so cute, she smiles widely, not being able to surpass it. Oh, God. He cares. He really does.

- If you were wondering why I cried, it's because I was overwhelmed with 'the whole evening', you are absolutely right here, - Dara looks at him, trying to ignore everything that she feels about the whole thing. Because now she is not less overwhelmed, to be honest. But with different emotions somehow. Because maybe they stand a little too close, - I'm good now, so don't worry. Let me do it for you, okay? I'll be in my fluffy slippers, so it should be fine.

Jiwon smiles again, hiding with hand and it also feels amazing. He truly is her teenage year's crush. But now she is no longer a teenager, and he is no longer unattainable.

If it would be possible to tell teenage Sandara that something like that would happen in the future.. God, she would live only by waiting for it.

- Okay. Only because of fluffy slippers, - and the atmosphere is so good, she literally cannot hide how happy she is. Dara feels herself so light-headed. Like that shitty day, even, maybe, a week, suddenly came to this exact point to bring her an actual cure in the face of Eun Jiwon. Totally worth it.

- Feel yourself at home, - she offers him to enter first, apologizing that she has only one pair of fluffy slippers and even offering it to him; he says no, but Dara believes it's only out of politeness. No one can say 'no' to pink fur in their right mind.

She then goes to kitchen, feeling like she's flying - those heels really made her look fine as hell, even she was sure about it, but now she doesn't feel less fine without them; just a lot more short. A lot. Ugh.

She hears water splashing from afar when she had only turned a coffee machine on, and so at the next moment, he's standing beside a small kitchen counter already without a jacket and three upper buttons undone, looking through his phone with utterly serious expression. Jesus Christ. That is no good for her mental stability.

- My manager was looking for me. I feel like I'm five, - he puts his phone on a surface and rubs his face; Dara gets it quickly - he's annoyed.

- And so as an adult you patiently told him where you are so he wouldn't be nervous, - she turns to pay attention to the working machine, which already filled the air with strong coffee aroma, - Didn't you?

She doesn't get response quickly, but when she does, it's equally cute and hilarious.

- No, I told him to fuck off, - and Jiwon is so puzzled with himself now, it's written on his face clearly. Dara just laughs again, shaking her head and proceeding to make americano, - In my defense, I was polite.

- You cannot say 'fuck off' politely, - technically you can. Possibly.

- But I did, - he's now standing behind her, looking above her shoulder on what she's doing, - Smells nice.

- Thank you, it's all on her, - she tups the top of coffee machine, ignoring how a brood of goosebumps ran down her spine.

Dara turns around to get another cup, not proceeding that Jiwon is right behind her. A lot more closer than she thought, actually. It's such a cliché.

- But still, - he's not planning on moving tho. She can feel him tensing up a little and the next thing he says.. any other man in any other situation would have been kicked out in seconds; but God knows, thoughts on their minds are absolutely the same, - Is there a chance I still can ask you that question?

She waits just a second, melting under his gaze, and he is oh-so-close and mother raised a decent woman but it doesn't matter anymore.

She is a decent grown up woman and she can sleep with whoever she wants to.

The thing is, she is the only one who thinks it's something bad. And her face shows it; Jiwon frowns and tilts his head a little. Like a cute little puppy, but Dara is sure you cannot look cute while being that hot.

- I'm not going to leave after, I promise. We can try to.. - he places his hand on her cheek and her exhale is so shaky. She desperately wants to give up to him, she can feel that pulsating sensation in her body when she's even imagining it for a second. She bites lower lip, frowning her brows a little. Why is she so scared? Jiwon clearly can sense it. That's why his breath is not better, it lingers on her lips, she feels every his word on her skin. The perfect distance to make her lose her mind, - I'll ask you on a date no matter what your answer would be, Sandara. Don't be so nervous. I'll wait as long as you need. And I'm okay with..

She doesn't let him finish when he unconsciously touches her lip with his thumb and she kisses it. His face is priceless. She would never forget this moment; she sees it like in slow motion. His pupils delaying and the way he gulps and furrows his brows. And that low slow 'fuck' under his breath when she takes it further, licking the tip, sucking on his thumb deeper, looking him directly in the eyes.

She's not going to regrer it.

It's not a secret that she likes him. It was even on national TV, like, a lot of people know that. But it's on another level when Jiwon kisess her; being firmly pressed against the wall and feeling his hands pushing up a short dress she wears - it's the whole new level. And she's so down for the game.

They barely able to breath properly because the kiss intensifies exponentially and Jiwon doesn't want to let her go just as much she doesn't want to get away from the heat his body radiates. She already gave up on trying to unbotton his shirt since it's not possible to make shaking fingers work properly. His lips are hot yet soft and he bites. God, he did bite her lip. And make her look at him in the process. She's trapped under his gaze, Dara moan silently, when he sucks on that bite gently.

She is at the point when everything that he does make her lose her mind. And he did bare minimum.

She hits her head on a wall when his lips starting to move down her neck; she wants to get rid of that dress so fucking much she's ready to rip it. And judging by how Jiwon grips the material, trying to find a zipper, she's not alone in that wish.

He pulls back to push his hair back and breath and Dara can't stand it. Fuck that dress, he looks glorious. She doesn't give herself a credit when she sucks on his Adam's apple and leaves tiny wet kisses on his hot skin, trying her best to undo his shirt finally. It's so impossibly satisfying to simply be that close to him. His scent, that filled her head rapidly; perfect mix of bitter smell of cigarettes and wooden, fresh cologne. Her head is spinning, and if not him pressing her to the wall, she would have fallen on weak knees.

He has all the chances to have her on her knees.

Everything that happens right now, on her mind or with her body, is strongly not like Dara acts in her life. Yet she loves it.

Her fingers meet his on his shirt and she doesn't expect touches this tender, when he squeezes her palms gently and holds it for a second, looking at her with a small smile and that soft peck on the tip of her nose. Goddammit.

- Please, stop doing it, I'm afraid I might fain, Jiwon, please, - she meowls it impatiently into his lips when he tries to kiss her and he smiles brighter, kissing her chin.

- What? - he's so proud of himself she wants to hit him. She meant his gaze, but God. She lets out a long moan under her breath, feeling his fingers messaging her through thin material of panties. Dara hits her head again, much harder this time, but she doesn't care. She cares about how does it feel like to grind on his hand while chasing his lips madly. Because that feels incredible.

Their faces are so close; she can feel his hot breath on her lips, how he sucks on air, when she moan louder because he decided to apply more power on her and his quick pecks everywhere when he can put himself together. Her nails digs in his skin harder when he pushes her underwear to the side to slide two fingers in. So slow, Sandara feels every millimeter and she moans all the way; his fingers are so fucking long. For a reason, apparently.

He moves them steadily, building rhythm in unison with her pinched meowls and hips' moves. She tries to chase for his hands, make him do it with more force and she doesn't know what to think when he complies. He understands everything she needs; he knows exactly what to do.

Dara surrenders to him; she has never felt this right in someone else's arms.

Jiwon made her cumming on his fingers in a few seconds.

She's blaming it on the fact that she was alone for a long time now; but she knows that it's her body reacting on him. In the ways she didn't know she was capable of.

Letting her head rest on his shoulder, she basks in the feeling of his palms gently soothing her bare skin.

She wants to hug him so much. To hug and to stay in his comfort forever. And she does. Dara pulls him closer, squeezing the material of his shirt in her hands. Somehow she wants to cry again.

- Do you think I did something wrong?

She's so afraid he would call her whore and leave. She doesn't care about anyone who have seen them leaving together, the press, internet. The whole world. She cares about waking up without him. She cares about finding disgust in his eyes. And..

- Sandara Park, God, if I told you that I don't, than I don't, - he pulls her face with his both palms to make her look at him and squeeze her cheeks, - And Lord knows I fed up with jerking off.

Jiwon looks at her with mixed adoration and his eyes are still filled with immense desire. She knows that she acts stupid and he suffers because of it. Yeah. Very stupid.

- Sorry, I just..

She starts rumbling and Jiwon rolls eyes, fighting the urge to shut her up. So Dara feels his kiss being a little bit forceful than she expected. But she quickly catches a hint; Jiwon moves away a bit, unzipping his pants and helping her to take off her underwear. No one talks about dress that is now pushed to her belly at this point.

There is a second before she kisses him again, tugging on his underwear to put it down enough to free his erection. Jiwon bites her lip and grunts lowly, when she strokes him painfully slow, squeezing the base lightly. Jiwon grunts again, throwing his head backwards and shuts his eyes, gulping and Dara thinks that that sight would be printed forever in her mind.

Jiwon's kisses are urgent now, he pulls her hand away and guides her to turn around and she complies to the hand on her spine to sag, pushing her hips into him. Dara is no less impatient by now. She has no idea how it is possible to make her this worked up just by doing.. Nothing. He did nothing. And she still wants him so much. He doesn't even imagine.

He pulls her closer with a hand snaking around her waist firmly and finds his way between her legs with another. Dara leans backwards, squeezing her palm on his wrist when he slides into her. He's painfully slow and when his full length is inside, he stops and places sloppy kisses at the base of her neck.

Sandara feels everything at once and it's a hard punch on her senses. And when he starts moving, she can't find any strenght to moan less louder. The only thing she cares about is him thrusting rapidly, his low grunts to her ear and the sound of skin slapping and it's the most erotic sound she has ever heard. Her head is spinning, it's impossible to stay still and she has nothing to cling to. Dara grips on the wrist of his hands and he starts to make steady rhythmic circles on her clit; Jiwon bites her ear, places a kiss there after and she meowls at his next words, feeling how the world turns into a blur when she turns her head, trying to look at him.

- Do it yourself, c'mon, - he can persued her to do anything with that voice. And he does. Jiwon tugs her palm and places it under his, letting Sandara doing it. She shuts her eyes tightly, finding herself equally ashamed and exciting, - Have you ever done it while thinking about me?

Jiwon doesn't stop even for a bit, but Dara can sense that he's a lot erratic and impatient now. He moans in her shoulder when she squeezes him and Dara is not twenty anymore. It's not like he could make her blush at everything he does or says. Even tho she can't help but blush hard.

- And you? - she shows one of her hand backwards, pulling on his hair and he particularly growls, - I know that you have.

Jiwon doesn't answer her, instead he thrusts harder, placing his forehead to the crook of her neck and guides her fingers to move, because she's so lost, she can't control her own body. She's on her toes by now, pushing her hips into his every time he puts any more pressure and it's so overwhelming. It's too much, she loses her sanity.

- I have and I'm not proud of it, - Jiwon whispers to her ear and she feels every part of her body tensing, like strings and she doesn't know if it's his husky voice, or scent in which she's drowning or his powerful movements. It's everything about him mixed up, that made her see blurred bright circles under her eyelids. She doesn't have strength to moan, just silent broken exhale and she grips his hair so hard, her fingers ache.

Jiwon pulls her impossibly close, he pushes her to the wall and after few moments she feels the loss of him, whimpering at the feeling. It feels cold suddenly, when he doesn't hold her anymore, now supporting himself with his hand on the wall. Dara turns around, nearly falling and covers his hand with hers and it's his turn to moan silently; there is not even a second when he releases in her palm, grunting low 'fuck' somewhere below her ear.

They stay like that.. Dara doesn't know for how many minutes. She listens to his now less erratic breath and tries to calm her own. It's like she's in another world right now, she doesn't know what to think about.

Right now, Sandara doesn't want to think about anything.

It's silence and than there is coffee machine beeping wildly, and she jumps in surprise, making Jiwon flinch and he.. laughs. Jiwon is laughing quietly, kissing her cheek and he hugs her gently, adjusting her dress so it falls down again.

She doesn't want to think about anything, but ahe does and it's not pleasant. If he would leave today, if he would go and forget about it, Dara doesn't know what would she do then. She doesn't want him to think that she does it everytime, because God knows she has a fucking checklist for a man who claims to get her in the bed.

Jiwon took that list, screwed it up and threw it to somewhere around her dignity.

God.

- If you still think I'm going to leave, you are dumb, - he kisses her again, placing small pecks on her face, looking at her finally. With such adoration, she's sure she feels butterflies in her stomach having a great party.

Maybe it's not that bad?

Dara thought he was going to despise her. She really did. She even accepted it in some way. But he smiles gently at her, kissing the tip of her nose and she sighs deeply, bumping her forehead on his shoulder to hide that happily stupid smile.

- I asked you to not to do that, please, - he kisses her temple, laughing and hugging her so strong her ribs clench.

- It's not like I sleep with women like that, you know. I'm no less surprised with myself right now, - he kisses her temple again and Dara can't help but close her eyes, drowning in his comfort, - What if you would think I'm not decent enough for you? Too careless or something?

- You are not, - she looks at him, finding him nodding to her answer.

- And so you too, - she proceed it for a second, not finding any lies in his words and frowns, realising that it's difficult to fight with logic.

- You might be not wrong, - he laughs at her choice of words and moves away, to adjust his clothes and goes to turn off the poor coffee machine that is still trying to keep coffee warm.

Dara looks at him from afar, smiling. He always says that he's not sure if he can make people comfortable; yet she has never been more comfortable around anyone.

And would never be, perhaps. That's why she doesn't regret anything.

She hugs him from behind, bumping her forehead between his shoulder blades, feeling his warm hands, stroking hers so gently she wants to cry.

He's not going to let her regret it. And she would do everything to make the same for him.

- If we wouldn't go to sleep in five minutes, I would fall asleep here, and than, - he stresses it, locking his fingers with hers, - You are totally going to regret it.

- You, my teenage crush, just had me against the wall in my fluffy slippers, I'm not going to regret anything at this point, - Dara hears him laughing and she shakes her head, squeezing his fingers stronger, - Let's go.

[trbled-rose]

So I went to VAV's Meet & Greet in Germany

The meet and greet was in a rather small club with a small stage. I had a platinum ticket which included fansign, hightouch, group photo with 6 people and VAV and their actual concert.

I arrived at the venue at 3am and camped till the numbering at 8am and got the number 6.

The Club's a hard rock club in a kinda bad neighborhood. So the whole night drunken man started to speak to me and my friends. But nothing serious happened.

But most information on the event was changed due to the incompetence of the organizer and when we were finally let in it was over 1. 30h later then they actually said (the police would let us in because there was a demo nearby idek)

And after they group photos we had to wait for over 30 min for Vav to come back on the stage because there were technical issues.

But aside from that the fanmeet was fantastic. I bought some merch and got signed cards by them, and they were all so sweet, especially Ziu, Lou and Ace, I had so many interaction with them and called their names, even tho Ziu almost ignored me every time. Ace always smiled at me and made a heart sign. And me and Lou had very intense eye contact and let me tell you he has the prettiest eyes ever. During the fansight I thanked Ziu for coming to Germany and that I love him (lmao kinda cringy) and wanted to tell Ace the same but he said 'Thank you for coming' so I answered with 'Thank you for performing'. I wasn't even able to say something to Lou, I was too shocked by his looks. When I got down the stage I called Ace' and Lou's names and they always noticed me, smiled at me and waved. I also think Ziu waved at me.

After that I got to the hightouch. I was able to touch their hands longer than I thought, it wasn't as rushed as I expected. Ziu even hold my hand and Ace interlocked his fingers with mine uwu. I felt like I was gonna melt.

After that I took the group pic (I sat infront of Lou and my friend in front of Ayno).

Then they started performing and they were so good. Their dance was so sharp and their voices sounded amazing. I had a lot of eyecontact with the members. Especially Lou and Ziu always noticed when you were staring at them for a long time. But even though Ziu is my bias I most of the time filmed St Van, he looked so incredible (he was wearing white shirt and it looked so amazing with his tanned skin and showed of his collar bones) and smiled so sweet, how could I not film him.

They also did a game with the fans which my friend was almost picked for but we didn't understand how the numbers worked so we didn't realize it.

After that they covered some songs and were so energetic, especially while uptown funk. Baron took my friends phone and filmed himself (he's her bias) and after he gave it back to her he took mine. He filmed himself a bit and then went to Ziu to film both of them. And I was kinda ashamed because I had a Ziu photocard on my phone and prolly saw it. Then he wanted to film himself doing some moves but he accidentally stopped the recording. I was so sad and frustrated while watching him filming with my shut down phone. But what he managed to film was already so sweet.

Ziu was so funny during the concert, we laughed so much because of him and St Van couldn't even stand because he had to laugh so much (his laugh is so cute)

Later we heard St Van's self composed song and it was so good and had a cool choreography.

Their last song was Senorita, where we all sang along extra loud. When it ended I was really sad, but I was able to continue seeing them, because I bought 4 selfie tickets.

I took a selfie with Ace, Ziu, St Van and Lou. First with Ace. The first thing I notices was how good he smelled, like it was the nicest smell I've ever smelled and all of them smelled that great. He was so sweet and I told him how great his performance was and how good his voice sounded, but it was so awkward and we both look really awkward in the photo. And I forgot to ask him for a hug.

Next was Ziu. When I gave him my phone to take a photo I told him that his performance was great but he said he doesn't understand so I tried to use easier words and said he did very well. Then he moved around a bit to find good lighting and panicked when he thought he broke my phone because the camera shut of. He looks amazing in the photo but he took it while my eyes were closed. I asked him if I could hug him and his hug was so sweet and warm.

Next was St Van and I already was very excited to hug him. Because he's so sweet and looks so warm and manly. But the staff told me hugs were prohibited :( but even though there were prohibited he got very close while taking the pic. He put his arm around my waist and our faces were literally touching. He has the sweetest smile.

Last one was Lou. I told him that his performance was great and he asked 'so you liked me?' and I was like of course. Like I just said you were good of course I like you. His voice sounded so attractive I panicked so much. He managed to get the pic kinda blurry and take it while my eyes were closed again. After he took the pic I asked him for a hug. But because I was a bit uncomfortable I said it in a very reserved way and said 'Can I maybe hug you?'. He said of course in the sweetest way possible.

Than I had to leave fastly, because the stuff was hurried us so much, because there was another event at 11pm.

And now I have like the biggest post concert depression and can't stop listening to winter breeze

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

Rewatching Gigantitan

This is the funniest episode in the show I’m already laughing

I JUST WANT TO SAY FIRST OF ALL THAT I LOVE THE GIRL SQUAD SO MUCH AND THEY’RE MY FAVES AND I’M SO GLAD THEY GET THEIR TIME TO SHINE IN THIS EPISODE okay moving on (Mylène sits so adorably omg)

...I’m not gonna lie, out of context it looks like Marinette and Alya are trying to tell everyone that they’re girlfriends

THEY’RE SO ADORABLE WHEN THEY LAUGH and I can’t get over the fact that they all just Know that Marinette likes Adrien, like, do they know she’s Ladybug too? Do they just not say anything? Who knows? And they all just agree that the boys are dumb and haven’t noticed anything like what kind of Girl Solidarity, I’m so proud

Okay they all sit adorably actually? From left to right top row then bottom row: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, Hufflepuff

I bet she got this big Trocadero map image from Google Earth

They’re still so adorable but this is so funny because like... Mylène literally actually has a boyfriend, she knows what she’s talking about so she actually has Good Advice

I can’t get over how giant Rose’s eyes are even when she’s squinting

Here are all the adorable drawings for you to look at, you’re welcome but I’m crying because Alix doesn’t get one

Look at this statue

They’re so ride or die for Marinette at this point, like, purposely get an innocent man into trouble with the police? Sure why not

Okay but if they had been expecting their plan to work, did they not think Roger would realize the fake signpost is on a trolley and not actually an actual signpost in the ground? Eh whatever

JULEKA PATTING ROSE ON THE HEAD IS SO CUTE I’M STILL NOT OVER IT

This screencap is still so funny to me akdjfhskjdhksjg, also THANK YOU someone finally pointed out how creepy it is that Mari knows Adrien’s entire schedule

Theo’s back and as usual, he runs every job in Paris

Well played, Zag, very well played...

Fake Adrien’s reaction to fake Marinette’s gibberish is priceless

And you know who else is priceless??? ALIX FREAKING KUBDEL

The fake date is so funny not just because of how cheesy it is, but also none of them wonder if maybe Adrien will be idk CONCERNED that his bodyguard is nowhere to be found?? But nah he won’t care he’ll go off gallivanting around with Marinette

The falling flower petals represent my tears of laughter when watching this scene

There’s the pink bubbly background too I’m DYING (btw the fake date is all in widescreen)

Oh my goodness Rose has actual literal tears in her eyes if you look carefully, I love her

MARINETTE SDKJFHDKJGHKDJHF

I love that Alix acts all outwardly supportive etc but then if you look at her she’s sitting in the corner cringing like “I’M TOO ARO FOR THIS” like can everyone else step up their Relatableness game because flower petal skater child is winning

YESSSSS GO GIRL SQUAD GO

Why does Adrien just model in his normal clothes? What is Gabe trying to advertize here? I mean I know Wayhem wears those clothes too but he’s Wayhem, that’s different

I’m so glad to see this guy is back

Juleka’s codename is Rose... here’s Juleka, surrounded by roses... hmm... remember what happens later in the Zombizou episode... I’m just saying... what I’m saying is she’s gay and Julerose is canon

Theo’s reaction to being roped into this plan though

I love that Juleka feels the need to randomly clear her throat before she starts pushing the cart, that’s somehow a mood

Bless her, she’s trying so hard

Mylène is frickin shredded, we totally missed that somehow

Alix just chills on the bridge the entire episode half forgotten, occasionally providing snarky commentary, I cannot express in words how much I adore her

It’s nice that Roger recognizes his daughter’s classmates - and it’s so nice that he recognizes Juleka, of all people! She’s come so far since the Reflekta episode :’) (of course Roger immediately starts complaining about pigeons...)

Juleka overcoming her social anxiety to yell about illegally parked cars!!! YES!!! YOU GO GIRL I’M SO PROUD!!!

“Hahaha don’t mind me just casually hugging this signpost...”

He’s still at it with the acrobatics

I can’t get over August crying an actual waterfall of tears askfhskjdfhksjd it’s like Syren-levels

I wonder what the Gorilla was doing on his phone... do you think he plays Pokemon Go?

Idek what to caption this just look at all three of them and Rose chasing after in the background

Marinette you good child, you’re such a hero even without the mask ily

This is seriously so great, I need more Secret Mission episodes like this

Hndfngjdfjdhn they’re not even trying to make it look casual now

Adrien’s car doesn’t even have a numberplate

DUDE WHY WOULD YOU AKUMATIZE THE GUY YOU PAY TO PROTECT YOUR SON WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU

Actually the Gorilla is now winning the Relatableness game because I, too, immediately become happy and lose all negative emotions whenever I see Adrien Agreste

THIS IS SO HILARIOUS?? And then instead of just de-akumatizing the baby who has no teeth and can barely speak, like any normal evil supervillain would, Hawky just rolls with it and doesn’t even think about how spectacularly this is going to backfire

Wow I love Honey I Blew Up The Kid

You can even see some of the Girl Squad

Awwww Juleka has her arm around Rose

CMON ALYA NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO DIE

August’s lil (well, big) baby bracelet has his name on it

I feel so bad for the Gorilla because he’s having such an unbelievably bad day in so many ways

I love how season 2 has so many more real Paris places etc, it’s a cool detail

Girl Squad group hugs are so good

SDNNFJFGNJDNJH I LOVE THEM

They’re so good and brave though, literally facing akuma villains to go find Marinette

The strings don’t even go in front of him

This whole scene where they’re trying to distract the baby is so good omg, I guess Adrien didn’t inherit the Bad Parenting Skills from his dad. And it’s nice that the owner of the car left their windows wide open for Chat to climb through

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

HE JUST KNOCKS OVER THE EIFFEL TOWER, I SWEAR THIS POOR TOWER IS WRECKED SO OFTEN IN AKUMA ATTACKS PARISIANS MUST BE USED TO SEEING IT LYING ON THE GROUND IN RUINS

Alix is still just chilling on the bridge, staying out of all the nonsense, like she can probably hear all the doom and destruction going on through the bluetooth and she doesn’t even care

No!!! Let Adrien eat!!!

See look at this thing. It’s like a giraffe that tripped over. How many people were on there do you think? How many got crushed underneath? It’s like the Mime except it actually hit the ground this time

THERE THEY ARE AGAIN!!! Using the fake signpost to save the day!!! And apparently they stole Theo’s rickshaw too, chaotic good

It looks like she was about to dab but got surprised by something

Chat’s smile in the Ladybug-o-vision is adorable

Amazing

Thighs of STEEL

They look like a married couple with their child, I love it

More Girl Squad group hugs!!! Look at those height differences

Where was she carrying that?

These are the best characters in the show and you can’t change my mind

And the best of all is tiny Alix who just stands there deadpan chucking flower petals at them, what an ICON

THIS IS THE BEST END CARD oh wow my cheeks are hurting from smiling so much, Zag stop making hilarious episodes about my favourite characters you’ll give me a heart attack

[buckys-newarm]

INFINITY WAR SPOILERS (PLEASE AVERT YOUR EYES IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET, ITS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD)

ASGARD IS DEAD. EVERYTHING OF ASGARD IS GONE. IDRIS ELBA IS DEAD (Heimdall). He died for Asgard and the Asgardian royal family.

LOKI IS APPARENTLY DEAD AGAIN. but i don’t believe it, it could be a clone or something bc im pretty sure Tom Hiddleston has a 6 picture contract with Marvel so he’ll be back for pt.2, WHERE HE’LL PROBABLY DIE AGAIN (FOR REAL !!)

Loki gives Thanos the Tesseract

My bb Bruce tried fighting Thanos. He really did try. But he failed sadly and the Heimdall sent him to Earth.

Loki tried to stab Thanos like he always did to Thor. He really tried to. It was a nice thought but it didn’t work.

Tony and Pepper are engaged !!!!

Tony wants to have a baby with Pepper 😭 that’s so cute !! If anyone remembers the name they wanted to name the baby, comment it please !!

FACIAL 👏🏽 HAIR 👏🏽 BROS

Tony and Strange debating and being the smart, amazing people they are 😍

Tony leaning on the Cauldron of the Universe and the Cape shoving him 😂

Strange calling Tony a douchebag had me screaming lmaooooo

IGHT BUT WHY DOES TONY HAVE A MF AT&T FLIP PHONE IS HE’S LIKE A BILLIONAIRE

AND CAP HAS A PHONE AND KNOWS HOW TO USE TECHNOLOGY FINALLY ?!?

tony calling one of Thanos’s children “squidward” 

The location names were like Civil War’s, but the one for the GOTG’s was hilarious bc of the music.

“I am Groot.” “LANGUAGE !!!” “WOAHH!” 😂

Gamora massaging Thor’s muscles and Quill making his voice deep. Their love is everything

Rocket is a trash panda, raccoon, and a rabbit now lol

THE UNSPOKEN THINGGGGGGG IS NOW A SPOKEN THINGGGGG. THEY KISSED

Drax watching them and being “stealthy”. 😂

But where’s Wong after all of this..? Still at the sanctum..?

Wanda and Flashdrive are in Scotland. cool.

MY BBS STEVE, WANDA AND SAM SHOW UP AND AKDJLSNCKDJ

CAPTAIN AMERICA...? MORE LIKE CAPTAIN THICCCCC DADDY 

Peter sees the space ship and Ned doesn’t even know it but he causes a distraction 😂

MY BOI STAN LEE MAKES HIS CAMEO AS SCHOOL BUS DRIVERRR LMAO

my smol bean peter goes on the space ship and almost DIES BY FALLING OFF FROM LACK OF HAIR BUT THANKFULLY DAD TONY IS PREPARED

“it smells like a new car in here, Mr. Stark.” LMAOO

Peter and his pop culture references (ex. Aliens- movie)

MY BBY PETER PARKER IS AN AVENGER

when Gamora tricks Quill and SHE FUCKING SMIRKS. I literally freaking cried but I think it was just the Reality Stone tbh 

Drax. I love him for so many reasons.

When Thor tells Rocket about he has nothing to lose bc all his family is dead, my emotions were ripped apart. 

Groot didn’t put his damn game down lmaoooo

When Rhodes says the Accords are bullshit and just swipes away the Council 

BRUCE AND NAT BEING AWKWARD AND SAM CALLING THEIR AWKWARDNESS OUT LMAOOOO

Bruce- “Because we didn’t think about that...?” Shuri really showed him up in front of everyone lol

MY HUSBAND BUCKY (WHITE WOLF) WAS THERE ON A FARM AND HE FINALLY GOT AN ARM 

Stevie and Nat and everyone land in Wakanda AND BUCKY AND STEVE SEE EACHOTHER AND BUCKY AND STEVE ARE GENUINELY HAPPY FOR ONCE IN THEIR TORN LIVES RN MY STUCKY HEART EXPLODED IN HAPPINESS

“How are ya, Buck?” “Not bad, for the end of the world.“ MY STUCKY HEARTTTTT

Poor Nebula was tortured. She didn’t deserve that :((( 

GAMORA KNEW ABOUT THE SOUL STONE THIS WHOLE TIME KFJKLRAGLRJG

she has to take Thanos to the Soul Stone

Quill and the rest of the Guardians fight Tony, Strange and Spidey Boi then they form a team YAAAAAYY 

Thanos and Gamora go to that planet to get the Soul Stone and BAM! Red skull is the guardian of the soul stone place (?)

THANOS ACTUALLY SACRIFICES GAMORA. SHE IS DEAD. HE LOVED HE. HE KILLED HER FOR THE SOUL STONE.

team tony-strange-spidey-guardians tries to fight Thanos and they almost get the Gauntlet but quiLL’S DUMBASS RUINS THE PLAN BY SLAPPING AND PUNCHING THANOS WHEN MANTIS HAS THANOS UNDER HER CONTROL BC THANOS TOOK GAMORA AND KILLED HER

strange gives up the time stone

Thanos’s children show up in Wakanda and break through the Wankandan barrier and they’re all fighting

Thor makes a new hammer that’s supposed to be for an Asgardian king, which I guess he is but Asgard isn’t a thing anymore 

he also decided to finaLLY DECIDES TO SHOW UP ALSO WITH ROCKET AND TEEN GROOT

btw the handle of Thor’s new hammer is part of Groot’s arm lol k

they all fight woop-de-do

Wanda is w Flashdrive in the room where Shuri is doing her thangggg and the Wanda decides to go out and fights 

then one of Thanos’s kids who’s a girl decides she’s gonna try to kill Wanda and says something like your gonna die alone but then NAT AND OKOYE SHOW UP AND HAT SAYS “SHE’S NOT ALONE” AND IN THE THEATER I WAS SCREAMING GIRL POWER BC NAT AND OKOYE AND WANDA FIGHTING SIDE-BY-SIDE KRLGHARW

okay then Thanos shows up to Wakanda and then Wanda needs to destroy Flashdrive’s Mind stone bc Thanos is too powerful and yeeting people to his sides

she destroys it BUT THEN THANOS DECIDES TO USE THE TIME STONE TO GO BACK IN TIME TO GET THE STONE THRN HE HAS ALL THE STONES AND DISAPPEARS

at this point I was bawling

everyones’s internal dialogue is like “fuck”

THEN WAIT

EVERYONE STARTS DISINTEGRATING INTO THE VOID IDK

IT STARTS WITH BUCKY THEN EVERY MAIN MARVEL CHARACTER STARTS THAT RNT THE ORIGINAL AVENGERS START DISINTGRATING INTO THE VOID

BUCK IS THE FIRST AND STEVE’S FACIAL EXPRESSION IS PURE DEATH AND SADNESS IDEK

okoye or nakia (I don't remember bc I was crying at this point) starts crying bc t’ challa disappeared into the void too then she went wa-bam gone

peter parker started crying and shaking saying how he didn’t wanna go, as in disappear like the rest of them did. he was holding and hugging tony and I was done. 

my tears were a waterfall

peter was so scared and saying “I don't wanna go mr.stark, please.” then he disappeared

then tony was sitting holding his hand. you know that part in the commercials where he’s sitting? ITS THIS PART. HIS HAND IS GREY BC IT’S PETER’S ASHES. FUCKING TEARS R EVERYWHERE

now everyone is gone besides the original Avengers, like Cap, Tony (who is currently all alone on Thanos’s home planet), Nat, Bruce and Thor and Cap says “oh god”

THEN CLIFFHANGER

C L I F F H A N G E R

WE WAIT FOR MAY 4, 2019 TO FIGURE OUT WHAT ELSE HAPPENS

fury and maria hill disappear too in the end credits scene but fury was about to send a distress signal (?) to CAPTAIN MARVEL

“motherf-” lmao fury

thank you for coming to my ted talk

[elvhenwitch]

Day 1: Introducing the Farmer of your choice! (I am very late)

@stardewvalleysebastian

I am very late but I just saw these so i'm gonna do them! Every week is Stardew appreciation week) [Warning - Cussing happens]

1. First things first! What’s their name and age, is there a special significance to their name? Gush about who they are!

Brady O'Sheine, she's something like 26-28 (hello indecision!). Her full name is Bralynn, but she really kind of hates that name, so Brady is it! Her style is pretty laidback, but she knows how to dress up. She in the second eldest of 4 kids (and also the only girl), raised basically by a single mother and her eldest brother. She is a sassy little shit that will smack you down so hard if you try to talk shit about her or anyone she cares about, Joja like destroyed her patience and restraint so prepare to be emotionally crippled~! :D

Also, be warned, you really piss her off/do something she will start tossing around legal stuff like no tomorrow and you will leave unsettled, and unsure whether you're gonna get sued or something. (Morris should watch out)

2. What was your farmer’s life like in the city? Were they a part-timer at jojacorp, were they just fired from their dream job?

City-life was basically a lot of scrambling for money to pay bills and rent.

Her father was never really around when she was a kid, but a few months before her youngest brother was born he just completely disappeared. Of course that was also when they found how much debt he was in, so her family grew up pretty on the poor side, with her mother working three jobs and her eldest brother putting off college to take on a couple jobs of his own. This left her, as the second eldest, to take care of her little brothers (not that she really minded).

She started working in Joja's customer service during her third year of college, in an attempt to get her school loans paid off, a couple years later she got moved to telemarketing and a few more years after that she was placed in the position she had at the start of the game. During this time she graduated law school and passed the bar, but wasn't able to find any work so continued working at Joja.

3. Why did your farmer decide to leave the city? Did your farmer have a loved one in the city? A significant other, a pet, a best friend?

She was well and thoroughly sick of Joja's by the time she finally opened the letter from her grandfather, but she didn't actually quit Joja until a few months after that. She hadn't wanted to just leave her family with one less paycheck, but her mother finally sat her down one night and told her that she didn't want her to put her life on hold, and that if she wanted to move to the Valley they would be okay. Even then, her mother's words didn't really stick until she (and her older brother) promised her that leaving wouldn't mean she was abandoning them.

Moving to Pelican Town left behind her mother (Rena) and three brothers (Emmet/Benson/Jacob), and her best friend, Emelyn. (Funfact! Emelyn is one of my farmers too, just obviously not in Brady's world lol.)

4. How did your farmer adjust to the farming life? Was it hard to get up early in the morning, are they deeply afraid of bugs?

Slowly. And with a lot of aches.

Getting up wasn't that hard, at first. But then she actually started cleaning up the farm and planting more crops, and she'd be exhausted by the end of the day, which lead to a groggy/grumpy morning. She eventually adjusts of course, but still, she figured out pretty quick that just becoming a farmer was a lot easier said than done. It's amazing the woman didn't lose any fucking toes or fingers. Someone save poor Harvey from stupidly stubborn city-girls who think they know what the fuck they're doing (Spoiler: they don't).

She's not technically afraid of bugs, but she makes an exception for those big ass fly things in the mines, the second she hears fluttering noises she nopes the absolute fuck outta there (cue frantic pickaxe-ing in search of a ladder). She's a real big fan of figuring out how to get a blowtorch and hauling it down, just for the, and I quote- "big swarming fluttery bitches." First time she saw one she marched right over to the Adventurer's Guild and banged on the door until Marlon answered so that she could yell "What the actual fuck Marlon?!"

5. Who was the first townsperson to make your farmer feel at home?

Shane actually. She was coming out of Pierre's with a bag of soil while he was on his way to work, they ran into each other and the corner of his nametag ripped a hole in the bag as they backed up, spilling soil all over the two.

Cue a "holy fuck" from Brady and her trying to apologize, he tells her to fuck off and walks away. She kinda just stands there for a second, half annoyed half surprised. Up until than she'd kind of started feeling a little disenchanted with the town as everything seemed so perfect and idyllic, but for some reason the encounter finally cemented that this place wasn't just a cozy little dreamtown with no problems.

Call it a rude awakening if you want, but Brady was more than thankful for it. That night she stopped by the tavern, bought a beer and dropped it in front of Shane. Then she left without a word, smiling the whole way back to the farm and finally feeling content with her latest life-choices.

(Shane is confused lol)

6. What season is your farmer’s favorite season, and why?

Winter. Let her live for five minutes without sweating to death over a patch of fucking parsnips or pumpkins and she'll be the happiest person you've ever fucking seen.

7. What is your farmer’s most favorite thing in the whole wide world?

Family meals. The only rule in her house after her father left was that the dinner table was a safe space; no arguing, no drama, leave your stress at the door. Since her mother/brother were always working Brady decided she would be responsible for feeding everyone. She spent most of her pre-highschool years learning how to cook, so that it would be one less thing her mother/brother had to worry about, by highschool she made every meal for the family.

Her other favorite-ist things are her Grandfather's antique cutlass and spicy foods (especially wasabi).

8. Is there a favorite place your farmer likes to hang out at? If so, why?

 Depends on her mood I suppose.

If she's in a good mood she'll go sit at the tavern and people watch.

If she's in a lonely/self-doubting "why did I come here what am I doing I don't know how to fucking run a farm I should have just stayed at Joja" mood at night she'll go sit(hide) in the little cave on the farm and watch the bats do their thing.

If she's in a... Hm, idek how to describe this mood exactly, a "I've done so much more than I ever expected and that's great but what's next? I feel like my whole life has just been waiting for something and I'm so tired why am I waiting? What am I waiting for? How do I get it to happen so I can stop feeling like this" mood, she'll either sit by her Grandpa's memorial (day) or go sit on the cliff with her legs swinging and just look down at the waves/water (night).

9. What song perfectly matches your farmer?

(I'm awful at these oh god) Um.. I'm gonna go with Swan by Willa.

Bonus: draw your farmer in their most iconic outfit! Or, write about their first few days on the farm!

Sim!Brady (1st outfit) - Drabble (+ Her tag)

[bitoflovehate]

every number :)

you’re an ass but i did it anyway because im fucking bored

ps. i hate you

1:Full name. Beth *******

2:Zodiac sign. Scorpio

3:3 fears. Clowns

4:3 things I love. Alec Lightwood, music

5:4 turn on’s. Sense of Humour, nice eyes

6:4 turn off’s. Just rude people

7:My best friend? I wouldn’t say i have one? like i always have a few close friends who are just all the same

8:Sexual orientation? biiiiiiiiiiiiii

9:My best first date? I went to a gig with this guy and his mam took us and like a year later he was like ‘that was a date btw’

10:How tall am I? 5′5′’

11:What do I miss? Not being stressed about exams

12:What time was I born? 12:27 midday 

13:Favorite color? Purple

14:Do I have a crush? I don’t think so

15:Favorite quote? My grandad’s army motto ‘We Shall Be Worthy’ just because i can’t think of anything else :) 

16:Favorite place? The beach at home

17:Favorite food? Bread...like any bread

18:Do I use sarcasm? Too much

19:What am I listening to right now? Arctic monkeys 

20:First thing I notice in new person? Humour

21:Shoe size? 6/7

22:Eye color? Blue

23:Hair color? Naturally blonde, right now idek blonde but also brown 

24: Favorite style of clothing? black jeans with anything

25:Ever done a prank call? yes

26:What color of underwear I’m wearing now? black

27:Meaning behind my URL? na na na lyrics

28:Favorite movie? this is england or the breakfast club

29:Favorite song? changes but right now it’s boys that sing by viola beach (it has been for like...a long time idk why it just makes me happy)

30:Favorite band? my chemical romance

31:How I feel right now? emo i just watched a jalec video

32:Someone I love. jalec

33:My current relationship status. single

34:My relationship with my parents. amazing they’re my pals

35:Favorite holiday. *lame voice* the one where i go to america

36:Tattoos and piercing I have. ears twice each

37:Tattoos and piercing I want. i have like 3 tattoos planned

38:The reason I joined Tumblr. i was bored

39:Do I and my last ex hate each other? um, i hate him but he doesn’t think i do lmajeinfuwvd

40:Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? i sometimes wake up to texts but they don’t say good morning

41:Have I ever kissed the last person I texted? no

42:When did I last hold hands? earlier today when i crossed my youngest brother over the road lmao

43:How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? depends

44:Have I shaved my legs in the past three days? have i shaved my legs in the past three months?? (yes i have)

45: Where am I right now? in bed

46:If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? idk

47:Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? depends

48:Do I live with my Mom and Dad? when im not at uni yeah

49:Am I excited for anything? lots of thingsssss

50:Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? my dad and a friend 

51:How often do I wear a fake smile? idk

52:When was the last time I hugged someone? like 10 minutes ago (my mam)

53:What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? cool but why are they in my room though?

54:Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lol yeah

55:What is something I disliked about today? i had to revise and trump

56:If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? matt daddario

57:What do I think about most? jalec

58:What’s my strangest talent? i can balance a spoon on my nose and move my ears

59:Do I have any strange phobias? i mean...some foods

60:Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind

61:What was the last lie I told? idk

62:Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? videooo

63:Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? i think and yes

64:Do I believe in magic? MAGNUS IS REAL

65:Do I believe in luck? yeah

66:What’s the weather like right now? cold as balls

67:What was the last book I’ve read? a one for my dissertation about online communities

68:Do I like the smell of gasoline? yESSS

69:Do I have any nicknames?well you can’t shorten beth but some people call me bethany, my mam calls me beebop sometimes lmao

70:What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? everything that’s ever happened to my ankles lmao

71:Do I spend money or save it? idk what money is

72:Can I touch my nose with a tongue? no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? probably not tbh

74:Favorite animal? penguins and dogs

75:What was I doing last night at 12 AM? on skype to iz

76:What do I think Satan’s last name is? trump

77:What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? boys that sing and where do broken hearts go

78:How can you win my heart? just be nice 

 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? ‘jalec did this’

80:What is my favorite word? bobble

81:My top 5 blogs on tumblr? me, my other blog, none

82:If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? ‘butts’

83:Do I have any relatives in jail? nah

84:I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? read minds or be invisible

85:What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? um...nothing?

86:What is my current desktop picture? a standard mac one

90:Failed a class? no

91:Kissed a boy? yes

92:Kissed a girl? yes

93:Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? nah

94:Had job? yes

95:Left the house without my wallet? yes

96:Bullied someone on the Internet? no

98:Played on a sports team? yeah

99:Smoked weed? yeah

100:Did drugs? i mean...see above

101:Smoked cigarettes? yeah

102:Drank alcohol? yeah

103:Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no

104:Been overweight? yes right now lmao

105:Been underweight? no

106:Been to a wedding? yes

107:Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? .........obv

108:Watched TV for 5 hours straight? yeah

109:Been outside my home country? yessss

110:Gotten my heart broken? yesss

111:Been to a professional sports game? yesss

112:Broken a bone? nope

114:Been to prom? yeah

115:Been in airplane? yeah

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117:What concerts have I been to?  lOTS

118:Had a crush on someone of the same sex? yeah

119:Learned another language? yeah

120:Wore make up? yeah

122:Had oral sex? yeah

123:Dyed my hair?yeah

124:Voted in a presidential election? yeah well uk government 

125:Rode in an ambulance? yeah

126:Had a surgery? no

127:Met someone famous?yeah

128:Stalked someone on a social network? do like..celebs count

129:Peed outside? yeah

130:Been fishing? yeah

131:Helped with charity? yeah

132:Been rejected by a crush? yeah

133:Broken a mirror? no

134:What do I want for birthday? idk

135:How many kids do I want and what will be their names? no idea

136:Was I named after anyone? no but i was meant to be called alice right up until i was born and that was after my great grandma

137:Do I like my handwriting? sometimes

138:What was my favorite toy as a child? a little mouse toy i called cheesy

139:Favorite TV Show? spn, shadowhunters, brooklyn nine nine, friends, skins etc

140:Where do I want to live when older? probably where i grew up

141:Play any musical instrument? yeah

142:One of my scars, how did I get it? I have an iron shaped one on my hand off an iron burn

143:Favorite pizza topping? cheese but it has to be burned or cold

144:Am I afraid of the dark? depends

145:Am I afraid of heights? depends

146:Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?yeah

147:Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? yeah

148:What I’m really bad at. lots of things probably

149:What my greatest achievements are. getting into university, then going back after being really ill

150:The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me. i can’t remember

151:What I’d do if I won in a lottery. scream

152:What do I like about myself? my humour idk

153:My closest Tumblr friend. not iz

154:Something I fantasies about. idk