#it's just That Good

[realtalk127]

alright fuck it. i can't sleep and i need to talk about this scene from the last episode of critical role.

because holy shit if this ain't some of the best rp – nay, storytelling in general – that i've ever seen. (buckle up, it ain't gonna be short.)

laudna: i made you a doll. because dolls are for children. and you're a child.

the way she says this is not nice! it's biting, it's snarky. she definitely seems to mean it as an insult – and she probably does! – at first. but laudna's idea of a child is much more expansive than just a cheep insult, as she makes clear shortly.

then ashton's response: i've never had a doll before. this is the nicest thing anyone's ever given me.

i don't know if this reaction melts laudna a little (if it does, she doesn't show it visibly), or maybe she was already coming to the conversation with a more nuanced definition of 'child', but either way, the conversation shifts immediately – and the next two sentences clarify where they're both coming from here.

laudna: i like children. // ashton: i don't.

she likes children! and we knew this, of course. marisha, the god of intentional rp showed us this within the first few moments of laudna's screen-time way back in episode 1. but still! it's worth repeating. despite the bite of her initial comment to ashton, she doesn't necessarily mean it as an insult. i don't know that we could entirely call it a compliment, given the context, but at the very least, i think she intended it as a point of connection.

after all, our data re: Laudna And Kids is not limited to that one scene from episode 1. there's also the parallel scene that mirrors it (with a happier ending) back in episode 38, when laudna first visits the sun tree after her resurrection. we also know (via a 4sd episode that i don't care to dig up right now) that laudna had another friend before imogen, who was a little girl.

and i think it's that little girl that's the most important piece here. we don't know anything about that story except that she exists, but i'm willing to read between the lines and make an assumption that laudna – on average – has better luck getting children to be kind to her (when they've not yet been taught to be cruel) than with adults. there is an innocence there that laudna needs! she needs people who haven't been hardened by assumptions and pre-judgements and all that bullshit. for laudna there is safety – both emotional and literal physical safety – in a childlike perspective.

ALL THAT TO SAY: laudna's associations with childhood are, generally, positive. for a variety of reasons.

but!

ashton's are NOT.

ashton's childhood sucked. from the jump. he was a part of a shitty cult that he barely remembers, and after that they were in an ophanage. their associations with childhood are overwhelmingly negative, and likely associated with feelings of helplessness and loneliness.

whether or not laudna intended that original comment ('you're a child') as an insult, we can pretty safely assume ashton took it as one.

they continue:

ashton: they're awful. // laudna: they're not.

NOW, we're getting into the meat of it. where before they were dancing around a metaphor, it becomes immediately clear what's really being talked about here. ashton is saying 'i'm awful', and laudna is emphatically saying 'no you're not.'

which! first of all, is so insanely generous of her. after what ashton just put her through less than 24 hours ago, laudna has every reason to affirm ashton's assertion that they are, in fact, awful. but she doesn't. ashton knows this, which is why he amends his original statement:

ashton: they can be.

they're saying: perhaps i can concede that i am not always awful, but let's at least agree that sometimes (like specificaly, oh, i don't know, LAST NIGHT) i can be.

laudna: you should remember what it's like to be one.

ashton: i do. it wasn't great.

the LAYERS, y'all. the LAYERS. the important thing here is that it's all in the context of that first comment: you're a child. which is, critically, a statement made in the context of ashton's decisions the previous night. they're talking in generalities here, but they're mostly talking about last night.

so!

when laudna says they should remember what it's like to be one [a child], she also means: you were a child last night, but not in a cool, whimsical way, just in a shitty, immature way. AND! when ashton says they remember, and that it wasn't great, they're saying they know they fucked up last night, but all they know of childhood is an overwhelming helplessness, how can that possibly be spun to a positive?

and this, really, is the crux of their two differing worldviews. these two have a lot in common – much has been said about that in game and out – but this point is where they split. laudna has survived, by embracing her childlike nature (admittedly, to a fault, at times). how to keep from being hurt? just keep everything fun and whimsical! nothing to worry about here, it's all just a silly little game! and she has also needed people who share that perspective. people who are willing to take her at face value and without any of the negative assumptions and prejudices they may have picked up along the way.

ashton, on the other hand survived by growing up immediately. they got through their own shitty childhood by becoming an adult (or acting like one anyway) as quickly as possible and STAYING that way. ashton needs to have a tough exterior (there's the made-of-stone thing again) to feel safe. (admittedly, from an audience perspective, this veneer is basically see-through. but ashton doesn't necessarily know this. they're trying their best. so from their perspective, the tough guy thing is Working.)

laudna: you should find more joy in your inner child.

she's saying two things here:

(1) you can be soft and be safe. those can co-exist, aND!

(2) i need you to be soft for me to be safe. when you have this false tough exterior, it hurts people. it hurts (hurt) me.

which is certainly a resonant metaphor to play with for the literal ROCK GUY who just got literally MELTED into LAVA 12 hours prior.

ANYWAY- that's what i've got for now on this scene. i'll probably never stop thinking about it, and there's even more good shit from later on in the scene when they talk about the doll, but that's it for now.

[peonyblossom]

no Choices book is ever going to compare to the It Lives series

[dragonfire1000]

Watch "Dark Xunshine-Comic Dub" on YouTube

Cross and Dream are in for the biggest challenges and emotional turmoil a of their life! Tune in this Saturday @8am CST for the dark Xunshine comic dub!

Featuring @tehrogueva as Cross and myself as Dream and Shattered Dream

Comic is by @zu-is-here, if you haven't checked these folks out, you should! They're amazing!

[princesimonsblog]

Actually going insane about that scene in episode 5 were Charles and Edwin scare that Richie guy to make him believe it's all Crystal who is doing that.

Not only is this scene hillarious (the "what is a handjob?" line will forever be iconic), but the fact that without even talking to each other, Charles and Edwin just knew what to do and went with it. The TEAMWORK, the fact that they know each other so well and the fact they were so ready to both defend Crystal, and that Crystal had complete trust I'm ajkdnfkjsg

[mimomallow]

Made my dad watch saw (2004) for the first time tonight, you know it's getting serious when he puts his ipad away to pay full attention 🤣🤣

[vg-music-i-like]

The Steel Samurai: Warrior of Neo Olde Tokyo // Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

[noemitenshi]

Excerpt

God, these feelings. His eyes burned just thinking about it, about how he felt accepted, adored, even. How he felt like he’d belonged right here with this man, his enemy, when no one back at the ranch had never quite managed to give this to him so effortlessly. How was he supposed to deal with this? How was he supposed to fight the Indian now?! When all he wanted to do was stay right here, beg him to be allowed to stay forever (and how laughably weak and utterly pathetic was that?). To feel so utterly devoted to the first person that showed him even an ounce of affection.

A broken sob threatened to escape – and he feared if he let it, he may never stop, may be swallowed up by this sudden desperation -the grief- that had swept over him, engulfing him, leaving no room for else. The indescribable pleasure he’d felt just moments ago nothing but a distant memory now, if even that, the wail in his lungs expanding further and further until he thought it would choke him ��� or break his ribcage open, split him up and why the fuck had the Indian done this to him!? It was that assholes fault,  of course it was. He’d found another way to make Troy suffer, just like he had before, had done it now so thoroughly Troy may never recover and fury finally slammed into him. Fury he welcomed. Of course he was furious, that was why he’d come here! That fucking stunt they’d pulled with the poisoned coffee, him wanting to get revenge—

His body moved, swiftly, all these malcontent feelings needing an out, and before the Indian had even registered the threat that Troy was, Troy had him straddled, a knife pressed to his throat with teeth gritted and grip white-knuckled.

And only when he gazed upon the Indian’s face, expecting to see… defiance, anger, fear? and instead seeing him meet Troy’s gaze unflinchingly did he feel the echo of eerie familiarity – the unmistakable feeling of déjà vu. He’d been in this situation before. Then, too, he’d been split open, laid bare unexpectedly and the same helpless desperation dressed as ruthless fury had been in him.

He was sure the Indian could  tell, could see his red-rimmed eyes (even though he hadn’t let a tear slip), could see his frayed expression. If he killed him, it would all be over. He’d take back control, take back all these things the other man had taken from him. He should, oh god, he should! Should slit him open, ear to ear, gift him a permanent  smile—

[corneliuscornstarch]

"Leah Scott Kennedy, was it?"

[beardedmrbean]

[keykidpilipili]

You know even if I would have loved for the chi saga and Dark Road to have secret bosses and endings Kairi EX I am glad they don't looking at the KH2 final mix requirements.

[firehandlerfred]

Every week or so without fail, i think about AO3 user sbj, who wrote what I consider to be one of the best piece of fanfiction ever, "more than human", and then disappeared 😢

It was for the PowerPuff girls too, a show I would never have thought to read fanfic of, but here we are.

[w4z1zi]

"Do you even love me?"

Literally you :

[coffeeworldsasaki]

I'm at 72 hours at baldur's gate 3 and I've just reached the city (literally, I closed the game after seeing the city from the bridge after escaping from prison) and the incredible thing is that I haven't been bored for a second when playing. It always happens in huge games to get maybe a boring npc or an insufferable quest or a terrible area that makes you dread replaying the game but not with bg3? I actually look forward to replaying everything!

[princesimonsblog]

I beg everyone to go watch Dead Boy Detectives right now.

[thirddoctor]

I think we've had enough master. Bring back the monk, babybee. We got monk problems now

This is what I've been saying! I still think the Monk would've been a perfect villain for the version of Thirteen's era where they were actually intentionally writing her as a passive, non-interventionist Doctor. He's the ideal foil and he'd be so much fun. No dreary standing about the ruins of Gallifrey listening to lore dump monologues. The Doctor would be racing to stop him from introducing NFTs to Plato or something like that.