#it's heavily implied that asa is the girl that reader is taliing with

[angstigone]

WARNINGS: grief, character death, spoilers for the manga, she/her - afab character, au in which reader is a witch, practical magic themed.

«what kind of witch are you if you can't even resuscitate a cat?».

anger stricked the girl's brown eyes as her darker hair fell onto them, to hide the tears of frustration that you knew were brewing; your smile turned lightly as you fretted around the small garden of the cottage to pluck down different herbs, careful not to disrupt the blooming flowers.

«a good and knowledgeable witch» you replied, as you raised - with a slight hiss at the tension in your knees - to face her fully as you discarded the large hat underneath your chin. one of your hands gestured to the neat old table at the center of your private garden where two chair were set.

the girl wasn't the first that had come to her to have something brought back to life, somebody close to her that she had lost and now wanted back even just to make amends.

a cat was the focus of her pleading, although anger had settled in her young features.

you must have looked like that long ago and that's how you knew what to answer.

«I think you are just... a charlatan! here's what you are!» the girl refused your attempt at being pacified, throwing her arms in the air angrily and you couldn't help but feel pity for her.

if she was this desperate for a cat, you thought her life must be miserable without it in it anymore.

still, you knew better.

«to prove to you that I am not a charlatan I shall explain why I can't bring back your adorable crambon» you sat down on the chair comfortably adjusting the house clothes you were around the garden and putting off your gloves with a moan of relief as there was not anything that you hated more than the lack of contact «... when beings die... they... death changes them».

the act of passage from the land of the living to the one of the dead was always traumatic enough to change the essence of the beings; it was aimed, at the same time, to give them peace and retribution and to be ripped away from it...

«... if I were to change your cat back, it'd come back...» deformed, hurting and horrible «... different. not the crambon you knew. not the one that'd be purring in your lap».

the cat would be cruel and an haunting presence, because death laid her mark onto everything: onto everything that life had previously touched.

«you are... you must be... that's a lie!» she knew deep down that you weren't but you guessed that denial was the sole thing that remained to her and you didn't wish to ruin it for her «... I... you are just... you are just bluffing because you don't know how to do it!».

«maybe» you smirked sadly at the girl, raising up as you steadied yourself onto the chair and felt the slight limp that accompanied your tiredness whenever you'd spend too much time chastising young acolyte «... but any other witch - a witch that's rightful of that name - will tell you the same».

the girl looked about to shout something back and instead tears fell from her pretty eyes, a sight that broke your heart and albeit she had been cruel with you and you doubted that this would have given her any relief, you came slowly near her, gently tucking the hair that framed her frowny face behind her ears.

«... still, if you are so stubbornly wishing for a chance to see your cat again, I shall tell you how to do so. it won't bring him back but it'll give you some peace».

you were ready to be insulted and rejected again, still the girl surprised you as she swallowed her loud sobs and after a moment, her eyes shone with curiosity and attention.

she'd have made for a good apprentince, you thought, all too bad you were out business.

«you see... there are times in which the ...veil between the living and the dead... it ... becomes thinner and some...».

---

the plates laid one in front of the other in the mark that had been left by the dust as you finished adjusting the flowers at the center, lightly flicking your finger to change the color of the carnations: this color didn't bloom in this season but they had been the first one that he had gifted to you.

memories were important for ghosts and for you, as well.

"I wonder how that girl is doing?" technically the veil was thinner in the previous days, but your own guest was a tardy one, albeit in life he had always been quite punctual. still, the girl hadn't returned to your house begging for more magic lessons so you guessed she might have had her peace.

you, still, sought out your own.

and you found it in the utter dark that befell the room the moment that the sole candle in the room was smushed out of its light. coldness seeped through your thick sweater and thighs, but you felt comforted as a figure - thin and bright - appeared among the black room.

«have you been waiting for long, my love».

«no» you replied gently as came close to him «... how was the trip over here?».

«each year it becomes far more complex» he breathed out once you were one in front of the other «... and I was held back because well... it's funny... there was this cat».

you almost laughed at the irony: of course there had to be a cat.

«a cat, uhm?» you prodded him lightly as one of your hand shot out to his own to the sides with the familiarity that had characterized happier times «... you should tell me all of it at dinner, don't you think?».

and yet, as your hand went to reach and make contact with his own, it held nothing but air.

as your eyes met his own again you found yourself startled at the knowledge.

«I can't touch you» and yet, the veil shouldn't have been that thin... unless it was... «... you are... you are moving on. you are passing onto».

he smiled sadly right back to her, albeit his eyes held the same sadness that was taking over her chest.

«... I know... I am...» he had known. he must have known and yet not told you «... I am sorry».

for passing or for having given you false hope?

and yet, you couldn't berate him: he must have wanted to spare you the heartbreak. again.

«I wish... I truly wish I could stay and I...».

«it's alright» you spoke gently «... I am... I am doing alright. I... power and denji are safe and makima is defeated and I...».

«... and I'll still worry» of course, he had been a worrier. you smiled as you gently enveloped his airy hand. although the sensation lacked, you tried to remember how it had felt to hold his hand. to kiss him.

to be his.

you'd forget it and that's what hurt the most; grief might have let you go, but you'd still miss him. even whe you forgot how everything about him tasted, sounded and felt.

you could have brought him back but he wouldn't be the same.

you guessed it must have been the price you pay for loving somebody.

«I know» you said softly as you felt the coldness of lips press against your forehead for a bare moment «... but I'll... it'll take me time, without your visits but I'll... I'll be happy again».

there'll be happiness after you, because there was happiness before you.

«good» he spoke similarly choked «... I... I want you to be happy although this selfish bastard part of me hopes you shall never fall in love again».

«I don't think I ever will» you admitted a bit choked up yourself «... how many great love can one get? I don't think I'd like to be that greedy».

he smiled sadly, as his shoulders had relaxed at hearing you define him as his «great love».

«just...» you wished as you already felt his matter dissolving right in front of your eyes «... watch over me, alright?!».

«always».

in the darkness, nobody could see your tears, but him.

and that's why you still smiled through the pain.