#it's going to be 100+ degrees for the rest of the week again (die heat die it's SEPTEMBER NOW)

[imwritesometimes]

I had so much I was gonna do today. but the migraine symptoms. they won.

[jungnoir]

destiny | 09;

⇢ summary: you’re just about ready to give up on life altogether; your love life is in ruins, you’ve lost your job, and your family couldn’t care less about you… and then you meet your blushing guardian angel, and maybe life isn’t so bad after all.

⇢ relationship: jeon jungkook/reader, min yoongi/reader.

⇢ genre: supernatural, angel!au, demon!au, romance, thriller.

⇢ words: 6.5k words.

⇢ warnings: mentions of depression, violence, vomiting. slightly nsfw toward the end.

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a/n: happy new year! I know it’s been quite a while (literally an entire year since I’ve updated) but I’ve had this chapter pretty much ready in my drafts and just hadn’t gotten around to finishing because. everything. regardless, I hope this sort of makes up for it. love you all! hope you’re doing well. also WOW I swear a lot in this one.

His hand on your neck is meant to silence any screams that might slip out. He applies the perfect pressure to avoid crushing anything vital (and just by the feel alone, you know he’s got quite an amount of strength to pull that off) while simultaneously stealing all your air and forcing you to cower in fear. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know this guy isn’t someone to be fucked with, and all you can think about is the fact that Jungkook is right outside and has no fucking clue what’s going on. The very thought fills you with dread.

“Then again, you’ve got someone helping you.” What once was just a particular, calculated press against your skin becomes a deliberate act of violence as he begins to choke you harshly. You know the pain of his grip might last for weeks, and that’s only if you don’t die in the next minute. “Just makes me wonder what’s so special about you.”

“Nothing!” You rasp out, clawing at his hand now in some weak attempt at breaking away. If you could make enough noise, enough commotion, surely someone-

-but the stranger has already stopped you quick. You aim to throw the door open or something but his free hand quickly apprehends you until you’re just a squirming mess on the verge of passing out. Even your legs are pressed firmly to the wall by his own body, holding you fast so that you can’t help letting a few tears fall. There was no doubt in your panicked mind that this was Seokjin, the angel who’d been trailing you from the shadows for what felt like centuries. His grand act of approaching you, something you’d dreamed up to be a major climactic brawl in a battlefield made for a spectacle, turns out to be so simple. Perhaps that’s what you got for thinking biblically. Why go through all the trouble when he could just squash the problem the minute a chance presented itself?

Now, all you can think is “I can’t die like this”. A sobering thought of pure contempt. Drowning in the river was preferable to this.

You muster what breath you can, eyes blazing, “How does it feel… being God’s lap dog?”

Seokjin is, funnily enough, stunned for a moment. All bravado slips through a teeny crack in his demeanor when you say that, and even though it’s a low blow, it’s also enough for you to thrust a semi-powerful kick to the dressing room door to make the entire thing shudder like an earthquake. That sound, coupled with your comment, makes Seokjin release you in a panic. You hear some gasps from outside, a few people inquiring if you’re alright. An employee sounds most worried amongst the voices. You’re just shy of swinging the door open and forcing Seokjin to be revealed or to disappear all at once, but then he’s grabbed the back of your collar as you scream in frustrated fury. Seconds later, you’re no longer in the dressing room anymore.

Instead, you fall flat on a rough, sandy surface. You’re overwhelmed with nausea, pain, and fear, so your whole body is struggling to pick up on the most important things outside of that, but you do realize quite fleetingly that it’s sweltering. It takes you a few seconds as you curl up on the ground to peek behind your hands that shield your face and discover that it’s blindingly bright where you are, almost like a…

For fuck’s sake. “Of all the places…” You whine with a sore throat, coughing right after from the strain.

Seokjin stands above you and uses his foot to kick you onto your back so that you’re staring up at him and the baby blue sky. His hair color plays against it in an unfittingly gentle contrast, “I thought we might need somewhere safer to discuss things. Oh, and speaking of discussion,” he waves a hand near you and you instinctively flinch back before you feel the pain in your throat subside. You wait a few seconds, but it seems whatever he’d just done had no effect on the rising bile in your throat, so you assume that’s something you’ll have to deal with on your own. What an ass. “Feel better?”

“Fuck you! Maybe if you hadn’t choked me out in the first place-”

“You’d have listened?”

“Maybe if you hadn’t hunted us down to kill us, we would have!”

Seokjin frowns, “I didn’t bring you here to talk about you and that boy, I brought you here to talk about you. I am only concerned with you.”

Whatever that entailed did not sound good in the slightest.

You scramble to your feet and immediately regret the movement as it makes you sick again. The more than 100 degree weather does nothing to fix that either, the sun beating down on you and bouncing off the dusty white sands directly into your eyes. You’re feeling something nasty rising up from your stomach, ready to projectile…

Just as the scene changes, you paint a Victorian rug with streaks of your vomit.

Seokjin immediately groans out loud, placing a rough hand at the back of your neck like one would grab the scruff of a kitten. You’re far too weak to protest, rubbing at your mouth with the back of your hand, so you let him toss you into a chair. The jerkiness of the action should have sent another eruption out of you, but you recognize the relief that has overwhelmed you from the touch of his hand. Had he fixed that too?

“Never the matter,” the angel growls, waving his hand and making the mess evaporate from the very fibers of the rug, “you’re all very fragile. I should have prepared you first.”

“How can you do all that…?” You couldn’t recall Jungkook or Jimin showing off any power like that, and whether it was because of Seokjin’s status or their modesty (and adherence to rules), you were unsure. Most likely both.

Instead of answering right away, Seokjin reaches forward a moving cart and you finally notice there’s a glass pitcher of water (hopefully) next to an array of empty glasses. You take the time he spends pouring some water for you to examine your surroundings.

It looks like a secret room in an old English manor house. The walls are painted a deep charcoal and with the absence of natural light, you could mistake it for the void. The only light that does exist is a strangely dim white light coming from the ceiling. What looks like a rather ornate shell of a skylight (sans the window to actually reveal, well, a sky), seems to hide said white light somewhere in it. It’s such a vague glow that you can’t pinpoint if it’s coming from a lightbulb or magic.

The rest of the room is just as ornate as the “skylight”, filled with deep oak bookshelves, golden artifacts, and shining decorations that already look like they cost more than your house. It doesn’t really matter the longer you think about it. All of it has to be an illusion… right?

A glass is placed into your hand and you break out of your thoughts to make eye contact with Seokjin. He hovers over you with narrowed eyes and when you look back at your surroundings again, you notice all the little decorations have disappeared. Why had he- “We can negotiate those bits of the deal later if you so wish.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” You ask, hesitant to drink the water despite how much the heat of the desert had made you crave it.

“Like I said before, I brought you here to discuss you. I’ve been watching you and lover boy for a while and it has become clear to me that you’ve been pulled along for quite the ride. I’m sure it’s all very daunting.”

“It wouldn’t have been so bad if you hadn’t shown up.”

“How much do you know about our Lord and Savior?”

It was tricky to say the least. You’d grown up on tales of him, an over-powered being of immense stature. No one could come close to him, not even the devil. However, you’d learned bits and pieces from Jungkook, Yoongi, and the others to the point where your ideas of the figure had become skewed. There was no linear understanding of him. You honestly had no idea, “Probably not enough.”

Seokjin huffs, taking a seat from across from you in a chair similar to yours. Crossing a leg over the other, the angel stares you down, “Do you know why I’m after you both?”

“You want to kill Jungkook. Because he committed your sin.”

“Jungkook is my main target, yes, but it wasn’t my sin. My sin was sullying myself with a demon. Jungkook’s sin was sullying you.”

You frown, “He did no such thing! You had a fucking child! Jungkook saved my life!”

“You mean to say he ruined it. You were supposed to be dead a long time ago.”

You’d known that much, Jungkook had told you already. Even if he hadn’t, that had always been the plan. “It was… it was my choice and I wanted it then, I admit it. But I was hurt. I was overwhelmed. I wanted it because I was scared there would be no reason to keep going.”

The angel angles a brow upwards, “And the fallen was that for you? A reason to keep going?”

“It was- it was a lot of things. I was reminded that I existed, and that there are people who can love me the right way,” frustrated at the situation, you glare at him, “what the fuck? Is this some fucking therapy session?”

He has the gall to smile, “God knows you need one. I’d like to be the one to get inside that mind of yours.”

Shit. What if you’d given him just the right information to use against you?

You snap your lips shut and sink back into your chair, bubbling with more dread. He notices your sudden resolve and appears to want to ease your worries, “I’m not doing this to break you. Unlike God, I find you, as a person, quite redeemable. A gentle, pained soul who fell victim to the perversion of her guardian angel. It’s all very sad.”

So God did think you were a lost cause. Jimin had been right after all. However, you don’t want to keep talking when you’re so close to getting the information you’ve been waiting for. It seems even Seokjin isn’t fazed by your silence, continuing on without missing a beat. “You see, usually these angel and human matters can be chalked up to the angel getting too big for their britches. They think they can change things like fate: God’s very flawless plan from the beginning. They are simply… glitches in the matrix, you could say? That’s where I come in. I make sure these issues are handled and that everything goes back to normal. You see, God loves his humans. Truly. He has a bit of a temper, but it’s justified, you know? He loves you all so very much that seeing you stray from a holy and righteous path is heartbreaking for him. He can only excuse so much.

“So he doesn’t. But… sometimes I help him. I change his mind. Even Jesus had to convince God not to blame his executioners. The big guy gets real impassioned about those he loves. It’s all part of the territory of being in heaven’s sovereignty,” at this, Seokjin shrugs, “you were an unfortunate casualty of it. However, I brought you here because I think that you could be saved. You’re simply confused. I’m sure I could convince God to rethink... his punishment for you.”

Your eyes widen, nearly dropping your glass, “He’d do that?”

The angel nods, pleased, “Of course! After all, he just wants you to repent. If you show that you will, well, I could put in a good word for you. He and I are very close.”

“But only for me.”

Seokjin’s smile dims some. He was so sure he’d had you on the hook just then, “Well… yes. There isn't much I can say about angels. Humans are born sinful, but angels are born knowing better. If they succumb to sin, I cannot do anything about that. But… if you feel that you’d be leaving Jungkook behind, and if that would cause you to feel guilty, I can assure you that that would be taken care of. Your memory of him would be wiped clean and you’d receive another guardian angel in an instant. You’d be granted everything you ever wanted. You’d be able to live out a new path of life contrary to the one your fallen so selfishly carved out for you.”

At this, you begin to frown deeper than you ever have. It’s not out of confusion but deep, deep understanding. Seokjin’s deal was asking you to sell Jungkook out and in return… he’d make you happy. You’d forget all about what had happened and carry on a new person, virtually safe. You could only assume that meant forgetting Yoongi too. Everything you’d accomplished so far would be rearranged until the you that you’d become would be so unfathomable you wouldn’t ever consider it.

What scares you the most is that you actually consider it.

This all could end right now and you’d get out alive, maybe all the ordinary people you knew would get out alive too. You’d be completely removed from the situation. You’d just have to forget Jungkook.

“You asked me how much I know about God,” you start, thumbs twiddling, and Seokjin perks up, “the stories humans told of him always kind of scared me. He’s so powerful… he knew everything before it was even created. Nothing can get past him. And yet, he let humans have free will and the right to choose what their path in life would be. That part always boggled my mind. God’s supposed to love us unconditionally, but if we don’t return the favor, we suffer eternally. It seemed like a pretty big plothole in the otherwise ‘flawless plan’ you claim he made.”

“Yes, well, it’s not God’s fault that Lucifer’s so conniving.”

“But it is. Isn’t it? God created him. Lucifer is the one who brought sin upon the world but God is the one that created him. If he knows everything, why make him in the first place? It’s a fallacy,” Seokjin’s eye twitches just a bit as you lean forward, “that God knows everything. Isn’t it? He wouldn’t be so stupid. He had no fucking clue what he’d made when he made Lucifer.”

“I’d watch your tone. God hears all.” The angel’s ominous reply is all that you need to hear. He doesn’t tell you that anything else you’ve said is false or not. Of course not. You know as well as he does that you’re spot on.

You’re so stunted by the arrogance of it all that you have to laugh, “Allegedly.”

In that same moment, the white light above begins to flicker. A distant rumbling sounds from somewhere and that fear you’d felt earlier comes back with a vengeance. Seokjin looks annoyed, if anything, “I only have so much time to sit here with you to chat.” He stands up and walks over to you, seizing you by the arm, “So I’m telling you now that you still have a chance. No one else has to die. Do me a solid and make that a reality.”

Did he really not want to kill you? He’d had so many chances to. Even now, he could just… what did you have that made him hesitate? “You think I believe that?”

The ground rumbles underneath you and then you fall through, Seokjin’s grip slipping off your arm… or maybe being pried off.

Where you land next isn’t as disorienting as the last few times, but it doesn’t feel any better to be ripped away again without so much as a warning. For a moment before you land, you halt, almost floating. Then your feet make contact with stone and then your knees follow under the sudden press of gravity. A quick look around tells you that Seokjin is nowhere to be seen… and that where you are looks vaguely familiar.

The stone continues up the walls to the ceiling, creating a naturally cold room that expands no more than the size of a restroom (no toilets in sight, however). The furthest edge of the room from you is completely dark, while the other is helped by a fire stretching from one long, narrow wall to the other. There is no wood crackling beneath it though, nor is there an actual controlled area for it to burn. Flames simply lick up the bottom of the wall as if commanded by magic. While the rest of your body feels chilly, the warmth of the fire keeps your head warm like a fever.

You lay crumpled up on your knees and hands, staring into the flames with the most bemused expression, wondering what to do now. You’re definitely not intent on travelling to the other side of the room in fear of being met with something sinister you can’t see, but the fire only illuminates so much of the place and there doesn’t seem to be a door in sight. If Seokjin wasn’t here, you doubted this was a place he wanted to be.

Maybe he was torturing you? Intending to keep you in a dark, scary room in order to break your resolve? You didn’t know the extent of power he was allowed to wield but this whole transportation thing was starting to get really annoying. You chance a meek, “Hello?”

Your voice doesn’t echo like you expect it to. It sounds like it’s right up against your face, like you’d spoken into a pillow, the sound eaten as soon as it came from your mouth. Where the hell were you?

“...not exact, okay?!”

You pick up on a voice to your right and turn over with such speed that you land on your ass. Some stones move on the narrow wall, and then the room is illuminated from an entirely different source of light. It takes you a few moments to gather your bearings as your eyes attempt to adjust. Voices are frantic and coming closer, you can hear that much. You pick up on one instantly, “Jungkook.”

Your voice is weak with relief just as he comes into view. He looks an absolute mess as he throws himself at your feet and wraps you up into a bone-crushing hug. The strength of his hug doesn’t even bother you as you cling back with just as much force, grateful tears beginning to gush out of your eyes. You didn’t realize until then just how terrified you’d been, really. It was always there underneath the surface, but something about Jungkook’s sudden presence makes the reality of it all hit much harder. He smells like your shampoo still.

After a couple of minutes in his embrace, you pull away to examine his face, “Are you okay?”

He laughs and the way his tears have clogged up his throat make it sound more like he’s choking, “Who cares about me? Are you?”

You smile, tucking some of his hair behind his ear, “Better. With you here. Where are we?”

“Limbo, hell’s limbo.”

You’re not sure what to say in response to that. After what you’d been through in the last… however long it’d been, that seems the most plausible to you. “Is that like purgatory?”

“No,” another voice speaks from above you and only then do you realize that Yoongi is here too. He looms over the both of you but his gaze is fixed heavy on your face, “purgatory is where the dead go on their way to heaven. This is where the living come on their way to hell. Was a hell of a ride trying to get your ass down here.”

“Yoongi…” You peel back from Jungkook and stand up, a little wobbly as you lean against the wall, “...thank you. How did you do it? The places Seokjin took me… I felt like we were in a dream.”

His upper lip ticks up in a snarl, “It was. The place where you were is a void, heaven’s version of limbo. It’s where angels bargain with humans on the edge of death to repent. It’s an open playing field for angels to present themselves to their humans without them having to be dead or breaking a rule… not like the latter really applies to Seokjin, though. It’s only as strong as your will to be there,” with that, Yoongi reaches toward you and brushes what feels like sand off your cheek, or perhaps he just meant to touch you to make sure you were really here with the way it lingered, “and that’s the only reason I could pull you out.”

It was a lot to digest. You still couldn’t totally understand how he’d pulled you from heaven’s limbo if he was a demon, but that was beside the point. Right now, you just wanted to get out of this creepy box of a room for good. And it seemed you would be getting your wish.

Another figure became clear to you through the doorway, though this figure looked much more intimidating than the two by your side. Dressed immaculately with a sly smile that felt strikingly familiar, a man makes his way into the room, pressing a hand to his chest and bowing his head to you, “He had my help too, of course. A pleasure to meet you (Name), I’ve heard very little about you.” The man holds out a hand to you and you can feel both Jungkook and Yoongi stiffen on either side of you, but neither makes a move to stop him. This had to be another demon, no doubt.

You take his hand and shake it firmly despite your nerves, “T-Thank you for your help as well. May I ask who you are?”

The man grins wider, “You can call me Lucifer. Are you hungry?”

An entire array of human food is set out before you but you don’t have much of a stomach to touch any of it, though Jungkook seems right at home as he fills up his own plate. You can only guess he’s enjoying the hell out of having so much food at his fingertips without having to pay for it.

You can hear his delighted sound effects from the left of you as you both sit on one side of a long table. Lucifer sits at the head of the table to the right of you, also refraining from really eating anything. Yoongi sits right across from you on the other side with an annoyed expression on his face, fingers tapping the heavy oak table top in a rhythm you can’t decipher. It couldn’t be any more awkward.

“No appetite?” Lucifer asks, pointing to the food. There’s meat and vegetables and cheeses that you know and don’t know but none of it seems particularly appetizing to you at the moment.

You shake your head, “No. Actually, I have a few questions I’d like to ask you.”

“Ah, bet you’re bursting.” He chuckles and takes a swig of something you think might be wine. “Go ahead. I’ll try to recap the last couple of days as well as I can.”

“Days?!” You don’t mean to yell, you really don’t (especially not at the king of hell, but-), “It’s been days?”

Jungkook stops chewing to give you a concerned look, “Of course… how long was it for you?”

“Barely… half an hour, maybe more? But not days.”

“Yes, well,” Lucifer sighs, tucking his hands together in front of himself, “time works much differently in heaven and hell than it does here. Especially for those who end up in heavenly limbo. It’s essentially cut off from the rest of the universe which makes it that much harder to track those who end up there. Seokjin was smart in bringing you there than somewhere else on earth.”

Your head is throbbing at this point. If days had gone by, you could only imagine how much had changed since you’d been gone… “So… what has happened since then?”

“Apparently quite a bit, seeing as I was a last resort.” Lucifer’s tone almost sounds irritated. Like a petulant child, he glares over at his son with an unspoken tension that you would like to delve into much, much later when the important things have been moved out of the way. “These boys have been pretty busy trying to get you back. But we are all eager to know what happened while you were with Seokjin.”

Jungkook places a gentle hand on top of your knee under the table. For whatever reason, you note that his grip feels stronger than you’d grown used to. You’d thought the hug was just because he missed you so much, but even this simple touch was- “He… he found me in the dressing room, cornered me there and told me he’d been trying to get me and Jungkook alone. Somewhere he could really do some damage.” You recite all that you readily remembered, some details slipping as you focus on Jungkook’s touch. Yoongi’s eyes never stop boring into you. “He said a lot. He… he said he wanted to give me a second chance.”

Lucifer raises a brow at you, “At…?”

“Life. He said that if I… if I ratted out Jungkook, he’d work things out with God to set my life back on track. Memories wiped, a new guardian angel, the works.” You can feel Jungkook stiffen next to you.

“And did you take him up on it?” Lucifer inquires.

“No! No, I would… I would never. But he was so insistent… It sounded like he really wanted me to say yes. I don’t think he was planning to betray me if I took him up on it either.”

Lucifer heaves a heavy sigh. Folding his hands underneath his chin, the king of hell spares a glance at Jungkook, “He’s got a thing for innocents: those he believes did no actual harm in a situation. He’s always been soft that way. He has more of an affinity for humans than I ever did, but I have more reason to loathe humans than he does, so I guess it’s understandable.”

“He did… mention that none of this was my fault.”

“Of course! You were only following the path life laid out for you. It was the fallen angel you have beside you that decided to shake things up, and aren’t you lucky he did? It doesn’t surprise me one bit that you’re still alive. You’ve done nothing but suffer the consequences, it seems, against your own will.”

“But what about the demon he fell for? Or his child? Weren’t they killed so he could keep his spot in heaven?”

Lucifer leans forward, “I’m assuming your friends haven’t made it known to you yet, but they aren’t dead. They are both very much alive. In fact, the child in question was one of the people that helped in tracking you down. The mother… she is here, in hell, meant to stay imprisoned for all eternity. Or at least until the rapture,” with that, Lucifer drinks again, maintaining eye contact with your shocked stare, “but it was best that no one knew of their whereabouts. Only a handful of people even know that Inhui still exists. It’s become something of a legend amongst the demons and angels, shrouded in confusion. None of the angels would care for the mother, but the child would start an earthly war if they knew one still walked the earth. As far as they’re concerned, the child probably died from the natural complications of being an abomination.”

You frown, “How is that possible? An angel for every human on earth… that’s billions of angels and no one has even noticed the guy?”

“I was wondering about that, actually. He told us that he’d been walking the earth for a while now. Surely someone would have taken notice, right?” Jungkook speaks next, having abandoned his food entirely.

Yoongi snaps out of his bored stance, “Tae’s an anomaly. He’s forgotten everywhere he goes. His impression barely lasts long. Those people he encountered early on considered him a dream, or a hallucination, or a possession of the mind. His actual presence is… hazy. It’s easier to remember him by his name or his number, but everything else is-”

“Intangible.” His father finishes with a flourish. “No ordinary angel or demon could ever put a face to the name, only a feeling. Along with the rather excessive amount of glamours he employs when amongst the public, it is no wonder no one has sounded the alarm. Go ahead and recall his face in your mind, fallen. I’m sure you couldn’t piece it together even if you wanted to.”

Jungkook’s face screws up a little as an attempt, stricken dumb moments later when he can’t utter a thing. Your stomach churns at the thought, soiling your appetite even more.

It seemed like there was more to that story than you were being told, but you imagined that it would be quite a lot to relay to you in more than one sitting. After all, you still had no clue what you’d missed since you’d been gone, and it only hadn’t terrified you senseless because you were at least certain that the biggest threat to everyone’s lives had been right there with you the whole time.

“If you’re not planning to eat anytime soon, is there anything else you’d like to know? It’s not every day a mortal like you gets to talk to Lucifer.” With a small flourishing wave of his hand, Lucifer smiles at you, charming as ever. It was so strange. Yoongi acted nothing like his father, and yet you saw every bit of him in his expression.

You imagined Yoongi felt the need to distance himself as much as he could from his father’s intimidating image and had ended up creating his own in the process. Where Lucifer was inviting, however, Yoongi was… not for everyone. Even as he stares over the table at you, eyes hooded with what appears to be indifference rather than lasciviousness, you can’t help but see the other in him.

“I suppose not,” you murmur, “but now that I have the chance, I don’t really know what to say.”

Lucifer continues to smile, “Don’t fret! I’m sure after the doozy you’ve been in, you’ll need to rest up. You’re more than welcome to stay here until you feel it’s safe to go back topside.”

The thought of treating hell like a hotel to stay in was tickling to say the least. The minute you rise, Jungkook follows suit, nearly knocking his chair over in the process to follow you. “I’d appreciate that. Is there… perhaps a room I could cool down in? Maybe a bathroom?”

Lucifer had deposited both you and Jungkook in a rather nice room, fitted with all the things you’d find in a nice resort room overlooking somewhere like the Bahamas. The dark, brooding colors of Hell follow you even here, and what little light you are allowed in the room comes from fire or mysterious ambience. Still, it’s enough to splash your face with (what you’re definitely sure is) water in the ensuite bathroom.

Jungkook sits at the foot of the bed, watching you, “I missed you.”

Since the moment that the Lord of Hell and his son had left you to your devices, you’d become increasingly aware that something was off about your angel. You had imagined that it had been from the sheer worry he felt over you, but it was starting to feel different from that. Something not so easily explained. If only… if only you could figure it out.

You pat your skin dry and look over at him, measuring him up and down. Appearance wise, he still had the same haircut, same clothes, same shoes. It was the aura that felt different.

Slowly, you approach him from the bathroom and wish that there would be more light in the room to examine him with. In that same moment, what appeared to be a ray of warm light halos above you both, giving you exactly what you had wished for. When Jungkook looks up, he looks… radiant. “I missed you too…” You whisper, reaching out a hand to cup his jaw. At your touch, he shudders, melting into you, and those eyes then laser focus on your own. “Are you okay?”

“I am now.” He answers without hesitation, then turns to kiss your inner palm with such a sensual drag of his lips that you grow hot instantly. The surprise makes you yank your hand away and you swear you hear him whine at the missing contact.

“Y-You just look different.” You squeak, holding the aforementioned hand to your chest as if he’d burned you.

Jungkook’s bushy brows furrow. “Do I?”

When Jungkook had been an angel, he’d had a distinct glow about him that set him apart from others. It was cliche, but it made sense then. You knew that you were dealing with someone from another world. When he’d turned human, he’d felt softer, normal. He didn’t glow in any particular way lest the light hit him through the window just right. But now… that glow was back. In a way that didn’t feel familiar.

You reach your hand out again, but this time you let it wander. You push his fringe back from his forehead, then behind his ear, then down his neck to where a sweatshirt hides his collarbones. In a daze, you fall to your knees before his seated frame and push the fabric back some. You find… nothing. You don’t even know what you’re looking for. A vampire bite? What is so different?

Your hand starts to fall mindlessly as you wrack your brain, but it’s all for naught when Jungkook catches hold of it and intertwines his fingers with yours. His grip is warm and solid. But it’s still- “I thought he’d hurt you.”

You look back up into Jungkook’s eyes as he now leans over you with an intense stare. His hair curls around his cheekbones and twists away from his face at the nape, each strand fluttering as he inches closer until the longest ones are touching your face. “Not much. He healed what he did anyway.”

At that, your angel’s eyes narrow in their scan over you, “What did he do?”

You instinctively swallow. Perhaps because you remember the feeling. Perhaps because Jungkook looks like he could kill. “He… he had to get me to limbo. He had to…” You touch the skin of your throat the same moment you break eye contact, feeling the ghost of Seokjin’s fingers there. It wasn’t so long ago that it had happened after all. You could honestly still feel it.

The silence grows until it’s nearly unbearable, you eventually finding that Jungkook will say nothing while you continue to avoid his gaze. Against your better judgement, you chance a look up at him.

You don’t get very long to look. Jungkook takes both sides of your face and lunges forward like a man possessed and you are forced to follow. In your surprise, you stumble back onto your elbows and Jungkook slots himself between your legs, latching onto your lips in a searing kiss. It’s hot and fast and immature, the kiss of a person who has never kissed before and may never get the chance to kiss again. Youngho had never kissed you like this.

A gentle whimper escapes your mouth but Jungkook inhales it into his own. You feel something primal burn inside you when Jungkook growls out, crouching over you now like a predator cornering his prey, and he’s practically consuming you when you start to kiss back. Can you blame yourself? You easily fold into the feeling because it’s Jungkook and goddamn if you hadn’t wanted to kiss him badly before.

His inexperience does very little to dissuade from how good it feels too, and as you start to take over to guide him, he is all too eager to feel your reciprocated passion. The heady feeling he gives you in his sudden attack pushes all thoughts of Seokjin or the last few days out of your mind like a fast-acting asprin. All you can think of now is how tightly coiled you’d been and how Jungkook is loosening you up one press of his lips at a time.

He lays you on your back and you happily oblige, no cushioning found on the hard floor but you couldn’t care less. Jungkook is careful not to be too rough, aware of your needs as much as his own, and it’s jarringly sweet the way he cradles the back of your head to keep you from hitting it on your descent.

When he’s had enough of your lips (as if he could ever), he starts attacking your neck. He’s lapping at your skin and biting away as if he’s trying to remove all traces of Seokjin’s hands… as if he’s replacing the feeling with him and him only. “I’ll kill him,” Jungkook whispers, a foreign fury in his voice that makes your haze disappear in an instant while he continues to work at your neck, “I’ll kill him for ever touching you.”

Your hand shoots to his hair, feeling your heart beat faster from more than just the kisses, “Kook-” But any attempt at sobering up washes away when, to your surprise, he ruts against you. Youngho had never been that good at using his hips like that either. There was something definitely off with Jungkook.

As much as it pains you, you grab at his hair and yank back, ignoring (or trying to) the filthy groan that he gives in response before peeling away from your skin. You gasp for breath, absolutely winded, “What is going on?”

Jungkook pants past wet lips, “What do you mean-”

“Did Yoongi do this to you?” The sudden heated moment is over when you say that.

Jungkook’s blood has run cold. You have a very strong, haunting feeling that your mounting suspicions have proven correct. His eyes… as gentle as they always were when they looked at you, told you everything. He was not the same Jungkook you’d come to know. Something had happened to him. Something irreversible. You touch his face again and this time Jungkook does not move to embrace it. He looks like he’d rather be anywhere else in the world. “Why?”

In an attempt to escape your pitiful gaze, Jungkook’s eyes flutter shut, cutting you off from seeing him vulnerable any longer. It breaks your heart the longer he stays silent. There’s no denying it now.

A tear of his touches the palm of your hand instead of his lips this time, “How else could I protect you?” He chokes, weak, “I’m not your angel anymore. I can’t be like you. This is the only way... the only way I could stand to look you in the eyes again.”

[her0brine]

Here’s the follow up to my Steve headcanon post, it’s everything for Herobrine! (It’s absolutely massive so buckle up :’))

* Steve and Herobrine are the SAME person. No, Steve does not have a case of D.I.D., but it is more of a surreal supernatural state in which when Steve receives any sort of fatal damage to his body, they fully black out and Herobrine seems to ‘take over’ their body.

* As for Herobrine’s appearance when ‘taking over’, it is nearly identical to Steve’s appearance, minus the obvious difference of having solid white eyes, as they have a total lack of a iris or pupil. Also, it seems that the already mesomorphic-like physique Steve has seems to get slightly augmented in terms of suddenly gaining more muscle mass when Herobrine is ‘active’, so they look somewhat even more buff and stereotypically hypermasculine.

* Herobrine’s eyes can glow, as their natural state emits a very faint pure-white glow. If in low-light conditions, the brightness of their eyes seem to get stronger, depending on how dark the surroundings really are. If they become agitated however to a certain degree, their eyes can become legitimately blinding to any living thing that even just glances at them.

* Their body feels stone cold if you were to touch it, as if they’re really just a living human corpse. Their blood doesn’t even seem to flow properly under their veins, and it looks somewhat coagulated if it bleeds out of them if drastically injured.

* Usually when Herobrine ‘wakes up’, it’s right after Steve experiences death, and Herobrine is thrust back into whatever deadly situation that caused Steve to die in the first place. There has been many times where Herobrine woke up to see that they’re currently being eaten alive by zombies or their flesh is fully charred from falling headfirst into a lava pit. Some of the less ‘annoying’ situations that they wake up in are being miles under the ocean with their lungs full of seawater, or waking up in the middle of the woods with their body being riddled with arrows and lying down in a puddle of their own blood and vomit, or waking up to see that they’re at the bottom of a abandoned mine’s pit with severely broken or fully shattered legs.

* Herobrine’s pain tolerance is absolutely ungodly. You can essentially cut any of their limbs off and he won’t even flinch, as the mere sensation of pain to them is literally nonexistent. However, having the inability to feel pain also means they’re eventually unable to feel ANYTHING at all. Even when walking on firm ground, they can’t even feel their own feet being in contact with it. They’re in a eternal state of feeling ‘loose’ from the world, as they don’t feel physically bound to anything. Even when they try touching or holding items, it feels like they’re grasping at thin air.

* Even though they can still receive physical damage to their body, any lost or injured flesh and bone is immediately healed up at a supernatural rate. Not even any sort of potion or golden food item can immediately cure such a variety of severe physical damage unlike Herobrine’s body. They can be blown to actual pieces and can still regenerate in minutes, although with some absolutely disgusting bone and muscle squelching sounds at full speed.

* Along with a body that can regenerate, Herobrine’s body seems to be a elemental conductor. If given the time to focus, they can summon electricity to flow within them, by becoming a literal human lighting rod. Although it does requires them to be actually struck by lightening first. Fire seems to be a easier element for them to summon and manipulate, as using any torch on hand or just walking directly into exposed lava (which does nothing to their body and just flows off harmlessly like water) can ‘charge’ them immediately. As for expelling these elements, they can emit them through their hands and chuck them as blocks or they can become a living EMP by letting it all ‘burst’ out of them. They rarely do this, when they they do, it’s usually only to clear out large waves of mobs who attacked them first.

* They can teleport, just like Endermen, but seems to rarely use it at all. When they do, it’s usually to traverse across large caverns or any sort of natural roadblock that comes across their path. When teleporting, they do not emit a easily visible aura such as the purple flecks that Endermen emit, but they do seem to cause some heat haze phenomenon to appear around their body and surroundings before and after teleporting themselves.

* Herobrine CAN speak, unlike Steve who is born mute. However, when they do speak, anyone can see that their body was never meant to actually talk. Their voice sounds discordant and strained, as if every word they speak is literal agony to say. It just feels scratchy and forced, making them sound like a pained dying Wither whose mouth is full of gravel. Herobrine assumes that their voice is ‘normal’, and is oblivious to how genuinely perturbing it sounds.

* Unlike Steve, who has a defined personality (shy and quiet, but overall a kind person who genuinely wants to help others and secretly craves social interaction), Herobrine has a complete lack of it. They are devoid of even basic personality traits, and is essentially a husk of emotions. Fear, joy, and envy are foreign concepts to them, but it is unfortunately obvious that they can experience and express extreme rage and absolute disgust. Agitating Herobrine is a rare event, but it is a grave mistake for any living being to purposely make them mad or even annoyed.

* In terms of the retaliation these pesky individuals might receive from Herobrine’s hands, they wish they would’ve been killed by falling directly into lava instead. It seems like the cruel, twisted, and genuinely macabre inner thoughts that Steve keeps to himself are fully expressed through Herobrine. Acts that Steve would NEVER do in their entire lifetime towards any sort of mob is instead done by Herobrine, with uncomfortably perfect execution. It’s easy to tell when a mob has been killed by them, as usually they’re deformed beyond recognition or all that remains of them is a blood splattered crater in the ground.

* Not even Herobrine himself knows why they do these acts of EXTREME violence and torture, as they claim that it ‘just feels right’. Even when physically mauling and gutting a mob to death, they’ll always retain the same stoic facial expression they always carries.

* Herobrine is 100% desensitized to gore. After all, there’s been numerous times when they have been mauled, stabbed, missing limbs, puking up blood, and other various states in which their insides are on the outside. It’s gotten to the point where they think it’s totally okay to see somebody else bleeding to death, as Herobrine assumes that they can also recover from their injuries, just like they can.

* When ‘waking up’, Herobrine seems to always have one goal in mind: Go back to bed. After getting out of whatever predicament they woke up in, they immediately makes a beeline towards ‘their house’. Sometimes it takes days or even weeks to walk back, but it’s always a constant thought on their mind. Even if interrupted by Villagers, Pillagers, or mobs, they’ll always dismiss them while continuing to head back home. The only time they’ll actually stop and go off-course is when they’re attacked, and after dealing with whatever interrupted them, they’re back on-course again.

* Food and water are almost unnecessary for them to stay alive, as they can last for weeks without experiencing hunger pains or thirst. Oddly enough however, they can experience fatigue, so as they spend weeks wandering back home, they will occasionally try to force themselves to rest by sleeping on the ground. It usually fails, and this is one of the few things that can actually give THEMSELVES agita, even if they weren’t attacked by a mob. It seems that they literally cannot rest, unless they’re SPECIFICALLY on ‘their’ bed at Steve’s home.

* Simple things in life that Steve enjoys, such as flower fields filled with friendly bees, clear water streams filled with fish, untouched snowy fields, or even seeing any sort of cute wild mob will bring out no reaction from Herobrine. He feels no psychological reaction from any of these relatively positive things, neither a positive nor negative reaction. If he was to even see a panda, he would just stare at it for a few seconds, and walk away, totally disinterested.

* However it seems that the general distaste Steve has towards undead mobs is something Herobrine also shares, as he usually kills on sight any zombie or skeleton he sees, even if it takes him off-course. He is visually disgusted whenever seeing a undead mob, and seems to not ‘toy’ around with them as much unlike other mobs he has killed.

* Even though Herobrine may come off as this unstoppable being with no emotions, ungodly abilities, and extreme strength, there seems to be one ‘weakness’ to him. Alex. He seems to actually experience physical discomfort or even stress when even looking at them, as if all the memories Steve has with Alex has bled over to Herobrine’s consciousness. He just becomes so incredibly meek around them, acting almost Steve-like in how timid he becomes. Just being lightly touched by them causes Herobrine to completely freeze up. However this goes away fully whenever any mob tries to harm Alex, and Herobrine absolutely LOOSES it. Just the mere thought of Alex being injured or being completely gone genuinely SCARES him......

* The first time the two of them met was during one of Herobrine’s long walks ‘back home’, and Alex naturally thought it was just Steve walking back from a day out. As they came closer to speak to him, Alex was immensely horrified to see Herobrine drenched head-to-toe in what seemed to be his own gore, as a arrow was logged through the back of his head, exiting through one of his eyes. Assuming the worst, Alex thought Steve died and came back as a zombie, and soon drew out a sword to mercy-kill them. Herobrine seemed unimpressed by this, and continued to walk his way back to home. Genuinely confused and also still dealing with this sudden wave of fear and grief, Alex once again tried speaking towards what they assume to be a zombified Steve, to only get a bonechilling response. “I.... aAMM...... NOOTT...... STTEEVVEEeee.......” Taken aback from this, Alex attempted to grab Herobrine by his arm, asking feverishly ‘who are you?!’. It seemed however this brief singular act of physical contact by another human being seemed to...... disturb him...... He finally stopped walking to stare at Alex, before speaking again. “Y..you........ aaAAALLEEXxxx?....... w..why..... I... I....... I...... know...... y...yooOoou?.......” Now experiencing what may be confusion for the very first time, the two of them managed to have a conversion, abit more of a one sided conversation as Alex flooded Herobrine with numerous questions about who he is and why he looks so much like Steve. The two of them finally made it to Steve’s house, as Herobrine asked Alex if they can help PULL the arrow out of his head. They obliged, hoping that all of this was just a surreal nightmare. Finally Herobrine threw himself into Steve’s bed, finally getting the sleep he craved. Alex stayed there all night, still in awe and horror of what they just witnessed. As daybreak arose, the being in Steve’s bed finally woke up. Assuming it was still that ‘white eyed doppelgänger mob’, Alex was soon comforted to see Steve’s deep violet eyes staring back at her. Although, what Steve signed next rocked them to their core: [Alex!? Wait, what are you doing here? In my house? Did I let you stay over last night? I really can’t remember, all I know is that I just had a horrible dream with you in it! I remember exploring a cave and some skeletons attacked me, and I accidentally tripped when running away and then I remember a arrow entering my head, and it was a dark haze after that, but you were there as well?! I think we were in the woods, and I remember you were holding my arm and yelling stuff at me, but I don’t know what you said.....]

* Knowing that Herobrine is essentially devoid of feeling or expressing most emotions, Alex tries to bring out the ‘best’ in them by making him do daily activities that Steve enjoys doing, such as taking care of livestock, baking, exploring mines, or crafting items. Unfortunately, Herobrine didn’t really ‘click’ with any of these activities, especially when being around animals. They just look so uninterested and didn’t even flinch when a fox wandered into Steve’s chicken pen and brazenly killed some of the chickens in front of them. Alex was honestly hoping that along with bringing out their potentially suppressed personality and emotions, they were thinking that by doing some things that Steve does, it’ll ‘jog’ Herobrine’s memory that they ARE Steve.

* As time passes on, it becomes more and more apparent that Herobrine is in complete denial that they are some sort of unknown type of supernatural being that is occupying Steve’s corpse and is essentially warping it in unnatural ways. However as Alex keeps bringing it up, it gives them a sense of............ shame. If what they’re saying is absolutely true, then WHY do they exist?............... and... why.... they don’t... want to....... be.... alone.... again............

[ayma-nidiot]

“Don’t Speak Their Names” - Shrimpshipping fanfic Epilogue

This chapter can be found here on AO3.

Epilogue - The Evergreen Greenhouse

~29 December 2007~

Even throughout his almost-over undergrad career - which involved a lot of trips to archaeological sites with Spinos - Rex still found the time to duel. As a matter of fact, he proudly approached the front door of his off-campus apartment with a trophy he just won from a local tournament - and against his father, no less.

“Weeves!” Rex called out. “I just won the tournament! Since we both just turned 21, why don’t we go celebrate with drinks?”

The first one to answer him was not his husband, but rather his 2-year-old daughter. “Papa!”

“Amber!” Rex picked Amber up and gave her a big kiss on the cheek. “How ya’ doing, big girl?”

Indeed, Amber was a big girl; though she just turned two years old, she already showed signs of being gifted. She could already speak in complete sentences, count to 100, and recite the alphabet pretty well. Still, she loved many of the same things that typical toddlers did - not the least of which was her mother. “I’m feeling awesome! But… But…”

“You okay?”

“Someone’s not feeling so awesome… It’s Daddy.”

“Why, what’s wrong with him?” Rex put Amber down, and allowed her to lead him to the loo. He was not at all pleased to see Weevil there, praying to the porcelain goddess. “Gods, Weevil! What’s wrong?”

“Ugh…” Weevil gave Rex a pained look before throwing up into the loo again.

“Daddy’s been like this aaaaall morning.” Amber sounded like she was about to cry. “What should we do, Papa?”

It was then that Rex had just remembered Weevil drizzling a ton of chocolate syrup over his fried bee larvae a few weeks ago. At first, he thought that Weevil was just being a buttmunch as usual. But then Rex recalled the cravings he had during his pregnancy - and the speech his college doctor gave him, the one that all male shapeshifters were capable of getting pregnant. “It… It can’t be…”

“Papa?” Amber looked at her mother quizzically.

“Amber, get my phone. I’m gonna call the doctor and get Daddy there right away.”

After his wave of nausea finally abated, and Rex had made that call, Weevil put the toilet cover back on and pouted at his husband. “Rex, honey, come on. You don’t have to go that far. Just give me some Pepto-Bismol, and I’ll be fine.”

“Throwing up for an entire morning is totally not fine.” Rex picked Weevil up princess-style and put him in the middle of the 2006 Mazda 5 with Amber. “And you’re about to see that.”

________

~A quick drive and 30 minutes later~

“So… So, what did you find, Doctor?” Weevil asked Dr. Balls.

“After performing the ultrasound, we’ve discovered that you’re pregnant, Mr. Raptor. Eleven weeks, to be exact.”

“Aww, how sweet…” Rex smiled as he stroked Weevil’s belly.

“Anyway, I do not anticipate that you will need hospitalization, just some light bed rest for now. I’ll prescribe some antiemetics, though. You are more than welcome to visit should you feel the need to do so.”

“I… I see. Thank you, Doctor.” After Dr. Balls left, Weevil turned to glare at his husband. “Why didn’t you tell me that I’m capable of getting pregnant, dino brain?”

“Yeah, about that…” Rex scratched his nose. “When I first visited this doctor, he told me that all male shapeshifters are intersex. But they each have their own unique heat cycles, depending on what they can change into. Yours just aren’t as frequent as mine.”

“...Humph.”

“I’m sorry, Weeves, are you mad? You still want to keep the baby, don’t you?”

“Oh, I’ll keep the baby, all right. But you better treat me to bee larvae whenever I ask for it.”

“Yay!” Amber gave her father a happy hug. “I’m going to be a big sister!”

“Indeed you are,” spoke a middle-aged woman in scrubs, who had just entered the room.

“What? Mother?” Weevil didn’t expect to see Camellia come out of nowhere. “What are you doing here?”

“Grandma!” Amber ran to Camellia to give her a hug too. 

“I’m just getting some shadowing hours, that’s all,” Camellia spoke as she hugged her granddaughter back. “After seeing what Rex went through during his pregnancy, I’ve decided that I want to become an obstetrician.”

“That’s great! Congratulations!” 

Rex’s smile turned upside down when Camellia turned on the T.V., and the first thing that came on was a replay of Weevil’s now-infamous regionals victory.

“It’s hard to believe that Rex Raptor used to lose so much back in the day,” one of the Duel Monster Channel’s announcers spoke over a still of Rex’s face in defeat. “But now that he’s won a championship against Spinos Saurus, I think he’ll reach his former fame once again.”

“Oooh!” Amber had never seen this duel of her parents in their teen years. “Is that you, Papa?”

Rex facepalmed. “Yeah, yeah, that’s your Papa, all right.”

“So have you learned to use strategy since then, dino brain?” 

“Nah. Strategies are for dweebs and bug boys.” Rex held tightly onto Weevil’s hand. “And I’m so proud to be married to a man who’s both of them.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

The doctor interrupted this conversation, coming in with a few papers. “Okay, Mr. Raptor, here are your antiemetic prescriptions. I’m also going to schedule your 20-week ultrasound. As you know, not only will we be able to search for abnormalities, but we can also determine the sex of your baby.”

Weevil had just recalled what Phuckdis said right when future Amber was “supposed” to kill the bug duelist. “Oh, there won’t be a need for that second one. I already know that I’m carrying a boy.”

“You… You sure?” Camellia asked.

“I’m willing to bet my deck on it.”

“Then how are you supposed to beat me, bug boy?” spoke a voice from the adjacent hospital bed.

“Whoa!” Rex turned around to see Mai laying on that bed, with Joey by her side. “Again with the coincidental meetings, Joey?”

“Great, just the person I wanted to see…” Weevil felt another wave of nausea about to hit him, and clutched his gut tighter.

“Hey!” Amber ran over to Joey. “Now look what you did to Daddy!”

“Ehehehe…” Joey waved a nervous hand. “Hey.”

“...I know you! You’re that big meanie who took Papa’s Red-Eyes Black Dragon and Daddy’s Insect Queen, aren’t you?”

“Amber!”

Amber ignored her mother. “Someday, I’m going to beat you and get them back! You’ll see!” She stuck her tongue out at Joey. “You big buttmunch!”

“Okay, Amber, that’s enough,” Rex laughed as he picked up his daughter.

“I suppose our rivalry never really will die, will it?” Joey laughed back, then turned to talk to Amber. “Amber, you’re a very smart kid. I’d love to duel you someday.”

“...” Amber only pouted in response. “Okay, but you’re going to be bug juice.”

Weevil smiled, as he always did when his daughter used catch phrases from both of her parents. “So what brings you here, Joey?”

“Well…” Mai sat upright. “I’m almost done with my degree, and I moved to this university for the upper-level courses. I started feeling sick on my way to class today, so Joey escorted me to the clinic. And… it turns out I’m pregnant. With triplets, if I might add.”

“And if you couldn’t tell, I’m the dad!” Joey proclaimed proudly. 

“Of course, this idiot got the whole ‘marry first, have kids later’ thing backwards.” Mai rolled her eyes. “He only got the courage to propose to me yesterday.”

“Touché,” replied Weevil.

“Soooo.” Rex waggled his eyebrows at Joey. “Looks like Weeves and I weren’t the only ones busy making babies on my wedding night.”

“Hehehehe...” Joey chuckled nervously. “And what a coincidence that Mai and Weevil will probably give birth on the same day.”

“Then maybe you should be the ‘godparents’ of our son.” Weevil was only half-joking.

“You know what I think would be cool?” Rex stepped forward and started making grand gestures. “If we had one bed over here and another one over here. Weeves and Mai can be in the same delivery room. That way, we can all witness each other’s kids’ births.”

“I’m down for that!” Mai appeared to agree with Joey.

“I dunno…” Weevil’s eyebrow twitched when he looked at Joey. “Not sure I want to be anywhere near this sasquatch when I experience the most awful pain of my life.”

“Actually, that can be arranged,” Dr. Balls cut in. “It’s more common than you think for friends or their spouses to give birth together.”

“Good to know.” Weevil groaned slightly as he got out of bed. “Well, I’ve got a final paper to write for biochemistry, so if you’ll excuse me.”

“Weeves, take it easy!” Rex helped Weevil out of the bed until he was confident he could walk on his own. “It would suck if you threw up all over your expensive laptop - or all over this floor - now wouldn’t it?”

“So I’ll see you again in nine weeks?” Dr. Balls patted Weevil on the shoulder, giving him the ultrasound pictures on his way out.

“You bet.”

“Fantastic. Now, no dueling or other strenuous activities until your second trimester, understood?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Weevil bowed on his way to the nearby pharmacy, giving a congratulations nod to Joey and Mai. He didn’t feel nauseated at the moment, but still felt muscle soreness from his morning sickness bout. While waiting for his antiemetic medications to be made, he rubbed his belly, speaking to the unborn child in there. “So help me Ra, if I ruin my entire semester’s work because of you, you’ll be sorry.”

“That’s not very nice!” Rex used a much more caring tone with their future child, patting Weevil’s belly at the same time. “Don’t listen to your mom; he’s just cranky. Final exams and all that.”

“It’s weird how I’m the mom this time around… So, we can get each other pregnant.” Even with his antiemetics now in hand, Weevil didn’t yet feel like getting up from the pharmacy’s small sofa.

“Hey, Weevil?”

“Yeah, Rex?”

“Wouldn’t it be cool if we could, like, get each other pregnant at the same time?”

“Hahaha!” Weevil refrained from laughing too loudly, out of fear of exacerbating his morning sickness again. But now he felt like getting up, and held Amber by the hand. “Yeah, right. The stars would have to align perfectly for us to be in heat at the exact same time. Oh, and Rex?”

“Yeah, Weevil?”

“You owe me ¥2000 if the child I’m carrying is a boy.”

“Naw, that’s no good. You’ll owe me ¥3000 if it’s a girl.”

“Then it’s on!”

___________

~02 March 2007, 11:00~

“Hmm!” Dr. Balls looked closer at the 2D. “Well, Mr. Raptor, I’ll be. You guessed right; you are carrying your first son. And he’s a perfectly healthy lad, he is.”

“Ha!” Weevil turned to smirk at Rex. “What’d I tell you? Now pay up.”

“Grr, whatever…” Rex forked over three ¥1000 bills. “Seeing as how we’re married and share most of our finances, this is kind of pointless.”

“Wait a second…” Dr. Balls probed around a bit more after he switched the ultrasound to 4D mode. “Hmm, very interesting!”

“Wh-What, is there something wrong with my baby?” Weevil stammered.

“No, no, it’s just… I’ve had many male shapeshifter patients, some of them insect shifters. But… none of them had a cocoon around their baby.”

“Are you serious?” Weevil looked at the ultrasound, and sure enough, his unborn son had not only tiny moth antennae and wings, but a thin moth cocoon keeping him warm. “It’s like… my body literally is the Cocoon of Evolution. I’m totally digging it.”

“Aww!” Amber kissed Weevil’s growing baby bump. “Hi there, baby brother. I can’t wait to meet you!”

“And I’m totally not. ” Even in his married life, Rex had not quite gotten used to insects.

“Since the two of you will complete your doctorate work at the university, you’re more than welcome to give birth here,” Dr. Balls informed his patient while rummaging through files on his tablet. “Especially if you and Rex plan to teach at this university someday. Now, let’s see… Your due date is July 20th. A day before your own birthday, if memory serves.”

“Yeah, well, you know that whole thing about most people not giving birth on their due dates? I get the vibe I won’t. And with any luck, Mai won’t either.”

“The important thing is that the both of you have healthy pregnancies, yeah?” Dr. Balls began to pack a few items for Weevil. “By chance, Rex, do you still have the fetal doppler from your pregnancy?”

“Of course. I couldn’t just part with the damn thing.”

“Splendid! And, as always, feel free to call if and when you need something. Good day now!”

“Good day.” With that, Weevil blocked the incoming sun from his eyes, and without looking, he knew a bee had just landed on his finger. “Say, Rex? Can we stop by somewhere really quick before lunch? I just got an idea.”

“Sure! Where, exactly?” Rex spoke with Amber sitting upon his shoulders.

“I want to visit my old home. You know, the one I haven’t set foot into in nearly four years.”

“Whatever for?” Rex couldn’t believe that Weevil would ever want to go to the home he was mercilessly abused in. 

“You’ll see when we get there.”

“Argh, I’m not that patient, you know!” 

“Careful.” Weevil pointed to Amber as the small family crossed the street. “You’ve got a toddler on your shoulders.”

Before Rex could think of a comeback to that, he heard a middle-aged man’s voice suddenly call out from underneath him. “Change? You got spare change, young man?”

“Huh?” Rex looked down to see a raggedy man in a group of other homeless people. “Sorry, but I don’t carry cash on me.”

“Is it…?” The homeless man got up to get a better look at Weevil. “Could you be…?”

“Hey!” Rex put Amber down and instantly got defensive of Weevil. “Leave my husband alone, you freak!”

“No, hun, it’s okay.” Weevil stopped Rex from throwing any punches. “I know this man.”

“Weeves?” Rex couldn’t understand why Weevil, of all people, would want to take time out of his busy day to talk to a group of homeless people.

“So what happened?” Weevil asked.

“It turns out that I couldn’t keep The Underwood Company afloat. Not only were we about to file for bankruptcy, but all my employees revolted. Now I’m stuck here, depending on the goodwill of others just to have something to eat.”

“And they revolted because of how horribly you treated them, didn’t they? You know that maid Adelaide you abused, just because she was being kind to me? She’s working on her business degree now and wants to take over the company - under a new name, of course. In fact, my family and I were just on our way to visit the old Underwood house. Oh, and just so you know, your ex-wife is going to be an obstetrician soon. Not even your horrific abuse of her could stop her from achieving her dreams.” Weevil held his baby bump protectively. “Or mine.”

“Adelaide and Camellia are…” The homeless man knelt and cried. “And you…?”

“I can’t believe I’ve wasted my time talking to you. I have better things to do with my time. I hope that you suffer for the remainder of your days, and that karma is an utter bitch to you.” Weevil got one last look at the homeless man. “Goodbye, Roach Underwood.”

“Daddy, who is this creepy guy?” Amber looked at the homeless man curiously, still unaware of just who he was or what he had done.

“That’s just it - a creepy guy.” Weevil gestured for Amber to grab his hand. “Come along, Amber, there’s something I want you to see.”

“Weeves… That man we met, is he…?” Rex tried to say as Weevil rang the doorbell to the Underwood mansion; surprisingly, the exterior was rather well-kept.

“Yes. He is.”

Rex didn’t need to hear anything more, and didn’t want to dwell on what he knew was a prickly subject. So instead he commented on how nice Weevil’s childhood home looked like on the inside.

“Is that…?” One of Weevil’s old butlers noticed his former master’s presence.

“You can let him in!” Adelaide called from a far-off room. “It’s Master Weevil!”

“Master Weevil, you have returned!” Several maids and butlers flocked the entrance of the home, giving Weevil lots of hugs.

“Oh, I never thought I’d see the day!” a maid cried. “You look just like Madame Camellia!”

“Guys, guys, take it easy!” Weevil showed off his baby bump after everyone had stopped. “I’m not a little kid anymore; I have my own family now.”

“‘Sup!” Rex waved. “I’m Weevil’s husband, Rex Raptor. And this is our daughter, Ambrosia Camellia Ptera Raptor.”

“How do you do?” Amber curtsied with her sun dress.

“Oh-ho!” Adelaide chuckled. “You’ve raised a fine young lady already. Not to mention you’ve given her a pretty middle name. Well, now that you’re here, what can I do for you? Some lunch, perhaps?”

“Before we get to that, I want to show Amber a little something. By chance, is my childhood greenhouse still here?”

“As a matter of fact, yes. It’s the only room in the mansion that has remained untouched by the renovations.”

“R-Really?” Weevil didn’t expect that response from Adelaide. 

“Yes, really! Feel free to check it out for as long as you like before lunch.”

“Thank you! Come on, guys, come see!” Weevil sounded far more excited than either Rex or Amber. He cried tears of joy upon arrival, and stopped to smell a hibiscus flower. “It… looks just like I remember!”

“What’s so exciting about a bunch of plants?” Rex didn’t want to admit it, but he wasn’t all too interested in looking at a bunch of plants.

“Yes, we’ve got the best plants ever, but there’s something even better. Something that’s made me into the duelist I am today.” Weevil allowed a moth caterpillar from the hibiscus flower to crawl on his finger, and showed it to Amber. “Amber, this is a baby Acherontia lachesis , or the greater death’s head hawkmoth.”

“It looks just like your Petit Moth, Daddy!” Amber let the caterpillar crawl on her finger too. “It’s sooooo cute! Ooh!” A pink butterfly landed on Amber’s nose, causing the toddler to sneeze.

“You just sneezed off Greta oto, or the glasswing butterfly.”

“It’s so pretty!” Amber laughed, wanting to play with every little insect that touched her. “Can I stay here forever? Pretty please, Daddy? I wanna learn more about your beautiful bugs!”

“Wish we could, but Auntie Adelaide is gonna have lunch ready soon. But you can play here until then.”

“Hooray!” And with that, Amber ran off with the hawkmoth caterpillar still in her hand.

“Should you really be letting our toddler play with a creepy crawler called ‘death’s head hawkmoth?’” Rex raised an eyebrow.

“Spoken like a dino brain who doesn’t know jack diddly squat about insects.”

“Well, at least it’s good to know how you became an insect duelist.” Rex hugged his husband from behind as he watched their daughter play in the greenhouse. He let his hand drop to Weevil’s baby bump.

“She looks just like me when I was little. If it wasn’t for this greenhouse, I… I don’t know where I’d be today.” Weevil placed his hand on top of Rex’s. “I wonder if I can get our son to love insects, too.”

“So…” Rex laced his fingers with Weevil’s. “Speaking of our little boy, what do you think we should name him?”

Thinking about his adventures in San Francisco with Rex seven years ago, and how they deepened their bond there, it didn’t take Weevil long to think of an answer. “I want our son to be named Francis Bakura Raptor.”

[fxkthatdairy]

The Principal’s Office Part Six~ Grayson Dolan

Overview: (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N) was the new 5th grade history teacher at The Dolan’s Private academy in New Jersey. She moved from across the country to teach at the school. On the first day, an unexpected visitor stops by her classroom to check in on her. What happened when they fall head over heels for each other?

Warning: Fluffy goodness 🥺😊

The next morning (Y/N) woke up around 9:00 am. She rose up in the bed feeling for Grayson to be next to her but the spot he slept in was empty. She decided to stand but as soon as she did her legs began to wobble and she sat back down. She tried this over and over again till she was able to walk to grab her robe that was hanging on the bathroom door handle. She was freezing this morning and with a limp she walked out of her bedroom to the kitchen, stopping in the hallway to turn the thermostat to heat instead of air. At her Kitchen Island, sat Grayson, shirtless with only a pair of sweatpants covering his lower half, typing away on his laptop. Behind him was plates of bacon, eggs, and pancakes made. She walked behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist and placed her face into his back inhaling his intoxicating scent.

“Good Morning, Princess. How are you feeling this morning? I made you some breakfast.” He said as he continued to type away on his computer.

“I feel amazing, a little sore, but amazing. Thank you for breakfast Gray.” She said and placed a kiss on his shoulder blade before turning around and grabbing a plate from the cabinet. As she was placing her plate on the counter to start putting food on her plate, Grayson wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, pulling her into his chest, he buried his face into her neck and pressed gently kisses there before placing a finger under her chin and turning her around a placing a gentle but firm kiss on her lips.

“Hmm I needed that this morning. Now I can do anything.” He said spinning her back around so that she could make her plate. He grabbed his laptop and moved over to the dinning room table and sitting at the head chair of the table. (Y/N) made her a plate of food and a cup of coffee and walked over to the dining room table. Grayson patted his lap signaling (Y/N) to sit down and she did. He wrapped his arms under her arms so that he could still reach his mouse and keyboard. She ate peacefully with her boyfriends calming breath on her neck as he was focused on the report he was currently writing. She finished her food and placed the plate on the table and grabbed her cup of coffee. She sipped as she watched Grayson intensely focus on this report aiming to get it done so that he could take care of his beautiful girlfriend that was sitting in his lap.

“You know you look sexy when you focus.” (Y/n) said and kissed under his jaw. She was just teasing him knowing she’s too sore to do anything today. She just wanted to be a pain and distract him a little.

“Hmmm, thank you princess. But I really need to focus so I can make sure this is done right and then you’ll have my whole undivided attention.” He said typing away.

“Jesus I really marked you up good.” She said with a laugh as she traced the hickeys she left all over her neck and some even on his chest. She secretly enjoyed it knowing that she marked him as hers. Even though she knew that it was going to have to be covered in public for the sake of their jobs.

“Hmm I love it though. Shows everyone that I’m yours. If you think mines is bad, you should see yours sweetheart. Everyone is going to know that you are mine and mine only.” He said placing a kiss on her neck before pulling up the camera on his MacBook to show her. He was right, the hickies were all over her neck, traveling down and across her breasts and even further.

“Hmm I love them as well. Just going to have a hard time covering them up. I might have to wear turtlenecks this whole week.” She said with a laugh. Grayson laughed along and continued working on his report.

She placed one final kiss on his jaw before standing up and taking her plate and placing it in the dishwasher. She also put away all of the extra food in the fridge and cleaned the pans that were used in cooking. She also swept her floors and neatend up everything. She even went and changed into a black pair of joggers and an oversized maroon shirt. She also put on a pair of fuzzy socks because her feet were extremely cold and threw her messy hair up into a bun.

Even with all the layers of clothes on, she was freezing. The temperature outside was around 67 degrees. No wonder she was cold, this was September and normally in Oklahoma the weather was in the 90s-100s degrees during this month. She walked back into the kitchen where Grayson was still on his computer typing away. She climbed in his lap facing him this time and embraced his warm body. He wrapped his arms around her to reach over and continue typing on the computer.

“Are you almost done? I’m cold and I want you to cuddle me.” She said laying her head on his chest.

“I’m almost done Princess, 15 more minutes.” He said and tried typing a little faster so that he could help warm his Princess up. Even sitting in his lap right now, he could feel the coolness of her body. (Y/n) snuggled tightly against his body to try and capture all his warmth. Honestly the warmth of his body, the rhythm of his hearbeat, and his steady breathing was enough to start making her extremely sleepy. She relaxed into his arms and waited for him to be done. She heard the laptop shutting and the next thing she knew she was being lifted up with her legs wrapping around Grayson’s waist.

“I’m all done with work. Now let’s go lay in bed and cuddle and watch movies until you want to do anything else.” He said and carried her to the bedroom. He set her under the blankets and turned on the TV and turning it on Disney+ and playing the original Aladdin. He crawled under the blanket and pulled her close to him. He wrapped her up in the warmest throws she had and then wrapped his body around her. He wanted her to stay as warm as she could. He ran his fingers gently against her scalp and gently massaged her sides and anywhere he could reach. He wanted to take care of his princess for as long as he could today. He knew eventually he would have to go home because both of them needed to show up tomorrow so that nobody got suspicious plus they were adults who had to get back to their everyday jobs. She soon drifted off to sleep and Grayson just stared at her in a loving way as she slept. This was Grayson’s soulmate, the one he wanted to marry, have kids with, grow old together and eventually die together. He wanted to show her to his mother and sister, his grandparents, he wanted to take her to his fathers grave so that he could look down and be proud of his son for finally finding the perfect woman. He wanted to meet her family, wanted to meet her sister and brother, meet her mother and thank the woman for raising a beautiful daughter inside and out. He wanted to ask her mother one day for permission to marry her daughter. He wanted to see her walk down the church aisle wearing a beautiful white dress and to say “I do” in front of all their friends and family. He wanted her students to call her Mrs Dolan instead of Ms (Y/L/N). He wanted the day where she would have the biggest belly carrying their son/daughter. He wanted to hold her hand as she screamed at him while she was delivering their first child. He wanted to watch her hold their child for the first time against her chest as the baby lets out its first wail. He wanted to bond with their child through skin to skin time. He wanted to have as many children as they could have. He wanted a big family with possibly getting some pets that he wasn’t allergic to such as some reptiles, or even some birds. He wanted to watch his children grow up. He wanted to teach his kids the lessons his father taught him and Ethan as kids. He wanted this all with her.

“What are you thinking about Gray?” She said sleeply as she moved over in her sleep. She had barely opened her eyes before closing them.

“You, Princess, always you.” He said and kissed the top of her head before drifting off to sleep.

———————————————————————

As always I hope you guys enjoy! Sorry it’s not as long as usual. Part seven will be out in a few days. Part Three of PANIC ROOM will be out later tonight or tomorrow morning. I have one college essay to write and then the rest of my time will be devoted to writing on here. As always if you have any requests, concepts, or blurbs let me know 😊💛

Tags: @graysavant @frickin-bats @pineappledols @sweet-dolans @parkernerd

[alecmagnuslwb]

Inked

Writer’s Month 2020 Day One

Read on AO3

The door swings open right on cue just like it has at three o’clock on the second Tuesday of every month this year.

Jason looks up from where he’d been sketching at the front desk when the little bell above the door chimes and he hates to admit he freezes for a moment. Roy Harper looks good, really good. He’s cut his hair since the last time he saw him for his monthly tattoo in July and it gives Jason a whole new view to admire.

The shoulder length red tresses are gone his hair now shaved down on the sides and a little longer at the top. Jason likes it, it gives him a view of Roy’s strong neck that had previously been covered. Roy lifts an arm running his hand through the top of his hair as he gives Jason one of those big beaming smiles he always seems to sport. The movement highlights his biceps which are blissfully exposed due to the oppressive August heat of the city.

He slips the beat-up grey trucker hat in his hand on his head backwards once he reaches the desk leaning on it with his strong exposed forearms.

“Hey, ya Jaybird. Ready for me?” he asks that grin still on his lips.

“Always,” Jason says closing up his sketchbook.

Jason moves back a bit so that he and Roy aren’t practically nose to nose. Not that he doesn’t want them to be nose to nose it’s just that they aren’t there yet. They might never be, he’s not really sure what’s going on between them if he’s being honest.

Jason and Roy have technically known each other since they were teens, back when they were Robin and Speedy the children of two of the most known superheroes in the world, but Jason made a choice to hang up the pixie boots before he graduated high school for his own mental  and physical health and Roy chose the same after his first round in rehab had nearly killed him.

After that their paths had diverted. Jason had gone to art school and promptly dropped out a year later to pursue art on his own terms. Roy had attempted an engineering degree, but his mind was lightyears ahead of anything any college could teach so he’d flunked out for not doing his assignments properly ever.

Then came a dark year for both of them, a year that no amount of therapy will every completely wash away. Jason had hit rock bottom with is career and his estrangement from Bruce for choosing a world outside of vigilantism came to a violent head while Roy hit his own rock bottom at the end of a needle.

It took years of failed relationships, bad decisions and hard work for them both to pull themselves back up out of it all, only ever really hearing about each other’s struggles through the gossip grapevine that is Dick Grayson.

Eventually Roy made his way back to Star City. Upon finding out he had a daughter he had gotten truly sober and stable for the first time in his life with the support of his dysfunctional super family. He made amends with Oliver, primarily through Dinah’s stubborn insistence they work it out, took to single fatherhood in a way he’d never taken to anything so quickly and got a job at a florist’s shop giving himself a peaceful place to spends his days that allows him to tinker with every new invention he can in his spare time without the stress of making exploding arrows to fight crime at night.

Jason had had a similar path. He and Bruce still rest on shaky ground and he’s fairly certain they always will, but he’s good with his brood of siblings again and putting his art expression into something as permanent as tattoos has been therapeutic.

Moving to Star City for Jason had been a whim. He needed out of Gotham, he’d saved up enough to start his own shop to truly make a name for himself, but he couldn’t do it in a city that was swimming in Bats. Dick had been the one to suggest Star, at the time Jason hadn’t thought anything of it. Had just assumed he was sending him to a town that still had the comfort of rampant vigilantism, but with the advantage of being on the other side of the country from anything with the name Wayne slapped on it.

Ever since Roy came walking into his shop, Bat Tats a name he 100% chose to piss of his adoptive father, eight months ago on Dick’s suggestion Jason thinks maybe his overbearing brother had ulterior motives. That maybe there’s a reason Dick is one of the few people who understands why Jason and Roy have become so close.

So here they are now two former sidekicks with their fair share of daddy issues and trauma doing a little bit better in every aspect of their lives every day and finding a friendship in one another Jason’s come to treasure.

“No Lian today?” Jason asks as Roy moves on autopilot to his usual station to take a seat.

Roy shakes his head taking off his hat and throwing it on the wall ledge behind him.

“I love that little girl more than anything, but keeping her sitting still and entertained for an extended period of time can be a struggle, especially when she knows she could be playing outside,” he says chuckling. Jason smiles remembering some of the previous months when she had tagged along and the way Lian had twirled around on a swivel chair asking Jason a million questions and briefly running into one of the brick walls when she spun a little too hard. “Don’t need her distracting you so much you end up accidentally inking me with something that looks like a dick.”

“Lian is no distraction, trust me, she’s a delight,” Jason responds with a smile as he sets up his station. He means it Lian is a ball of energy with a smile like her father and wit far greater than most adults Jason has met. Roy is far more of a distraction, his tattoo in April which had been on his bare chest had nearly killed Jason. “And if I was going to tattoo a dick on you there would be nothing accidental about it.”

Roy full out belly laughs and Jason loves the sound.

“Speaking of dick’s,” he says as he rolls up his chair to Roy’s side snapping on his gloves. “You sure you don’t want that Nightwing tattoo? It’s a best seller.”

Jason tilts his head up to the wall where proudly, because Dick framed it the ass that he is, is the Nightwing symbol with a gold plate below it reading #1 bestseller. If Jason didn’t like paying his bills he’d probably stop offering it, but the last three months has seen a surge in his popularity since he and Babs essentially stopped an apocalypse on their own and Jason has found himself with at least a dozen requests for the symbol every week.

“Not a chance, I will not take part in fluffing Grayson’s ego, I refuse,” Roy says before gesturing down at his body. “This body is temple now.”

Damn right it is, Jason thinks eyes lingering a little too long at the body in question. Long enough that he’s pretty sure he’s been caught so he clears his throat not meeting Roy’s eye as he loads up the tattoo gun.

He doesn’t see Roy smirk as he stretches out his arm for Jason and he definitely doesn’t notice how Roy watches the white streaks at the front of his hair fall over his eyes intently as he bends his head to get to work.

Today’s tattoo is a simple one. A small date that’s just a few days away to be added onto his ‘Lian forearm’ as they call it, alongside her name, the word for daughter in Navajo and a handful of little drawings Lian herself has proudly designed. The date marks his fifth year of sobriety, the day he decided to be there for his little girl for the rest of his days.

They chat while Jason works, Jason trying to ignore the way Roy’s scars feel warm under his fingers at every pass. Roy gives an update on Lian as back to school nears and Jason updates him on the weirdest tattoo requests he’s had the past few weeks. His personal favorite being the 82-year-old grandma who’d come in requesting a tattoo of a lion’s head that her grandson designed.

Roy chuckles as Jason finishes up getting the materials to wrap up the new ink.

“Well she sounds cool as hell, any chance she’s willing to take on new grandchildren?” he asks.

“I asked, she said she could direct me to some equally as cool friends since she’s already got 13 of her own,” Jason chuckles as he finishes wrapping up. “All done.”

He pulls away with a smile snapping the gloves off and throwing them in a nearby trash can. They walk back up to the front together, Roy paying and tipping him way too much like he always does.

“You’re absolutely worth it,” Roy says when Jason tries to wave off the excessive tip. Jason’s breath catches, the context isn’t remotely what Jason’s dumb gay brain is thinking, but it feels loaded anyways.

Jason brushes it off best he can. “If you say so,” he shrugs.  

“I do,” Roy says back instantly not missing a beat. Jason’s about to ask him if his tattoo streak is going to continue next month, but Roy beats him to it.

“I know we usually have a monthly date here and I do plan to keep that up, Lian has a killer new idea with a lizard wearing a top hat,” Roy says a little nervousness in his words. He reaches up adjusting his hat, a nervous tick Jason has picked up on over the months, it’s a little thing most people would overlook, but no matter how much time passes his training from Bruce is always there telling him to watch every little move and tick of every person he encounters. “But I was thinking we could have another date before that, you know not here and not you giving me a tattoo. Maybe over dinner?”

Jason’s eyes drop down to Roy’s at that quickly looking away from where he’d been watching him play with his hat.

Evidently Jason is quiet for far too long because Roy starts to fumble the hat around even more.

“Obviously if I’ve read everything wrong all these months then we can just act like this never happened and call it nothing more than a friend hang,” Roy rambles. “Or you know just let me die of embarrassment for a few more minutes and we’ll only ever see each other inside these four walls.”

“No,” Jason says finally snapping out of his shock that Roy just asked him out. “I mean yes, yes I’d love to go to dinner with you on a date.”

Roy puts his hat back on properly and smiles that big smile of his again.

“Great, how about Friday? Lian’s having a sleepover at Dinah and Ollie’s, so I’d be all yours for the evening,” Roy says, there is a little bit of implication in his words, months of built up charm and light flirting via friendship slipping in.

“Friday works for me,” Jason replies easy with his own smile no doubt as big as Roy’s.

[keepingupwithfundies]

BuB 824: A Wedding Worth the Wait

Thank you all for your patience- I am trying desperately to get caught up on recaps after the craziest school week last week. Finally, I have the BuB finale for you- Carlin and Evan get married! 

-T 

It is two days until the wedding, and the Bates family is finishing up Carlin's list. Lawson wrote a song for Carlin and Evan to dance to, and they check in with him about the song. Carlin and Evan have also not practiced their dance in a while, and as Lawson sings, Evan and Carlin laugh and try to remember their dance. Trace and Elijah are watching and laughing as this all goes down. Evan and Carlin watch a video of dance class to refresh their memories. Trace says they will need a lot more practice before Saturday. Carlin says as long as they get the ending right- the dip and kiss- it will be alright. Evan says they realized they weren't ready.

At the nail salon, Joy and Carlin are going to get their nails done. Carlin says it is sweet to have some time with her best friend before her wedding. Joy says Carlin will be the most beautiful bride, and Evan will die when he sees her on the wedding day. They get pedicures (french toes) and Erin and Tori also arrive to get their nails done. Carlin tells Erin she is worried about the duet which Carlin and Evan will sing. Erin says they will practice it tonight. Carlin says the countdown is on and double checking things is so important but she is also trying to enjoy her moment.  Carlin shows Erin and Tori pictures of her hair trial, and Tori and Erin don't love it. Erin says Carlin should have a flower crown and calls her Aunt Kim to see if she can do it. Kim says she doesn't have the materials to do it but she will look into it.

At the venue, Carlin and Evan are practicing their song before the rehearsal dinner. Carlin doesn't know it and she is worried about squeezing it in at the lost minute. This is the rehearsal and Carlin is still learning the words. Evan wrote the song and knows it pretty well but he is very nervous since he has recently finished it and doesn't know it 100%. Evan makes a plan that if Carlin is crying, he will sing the second verse. Carlin says she has a lot of visions for her wedding but she is worried she bit off more than she can chew. Carlin and Evan agree that all that really matters is they end up married.

It is rehearsal day, and it is 94 degrees outside. Carlin has a 24 person wedding party- the largest so far- which means she didn't exclude anyone but it is hard to figure out where they all stand. Then, Carlin and Evan step up in front of Gil. Carlin says they have waited so long for their first kiss, and it was worth it, but 24 hours can't come soon enough. They practice walking everyone out and it is time for the dinner.

At the dinner, Evan is excited for the rehearsal dinner in the air conditioned bar which his family has set up. Carlin loves the food and decorations at the dinner. They serve lasagna and everyone enjoys it. Carlin and Evan are called up, and Carlin tears up as she thanks everyone for coming. She thanks her parents for raising her and teaching her to love God, and her siblings for being there for her. The family tears up at how meaningful this is for them. Evan talks next, and talks about how hard it will be to move away from his family. He starts crying as it hits him that he is really moving away. Then Evan's parents take a moment to speak, the dinner concludes and now it is time for the big day.

It is wedding day. Ethan and Evan arrive at Castledown Farms and begin preparing for the big day. They have to get ready for pictures. The big bridal party is all getting ready for the big day. Carlin is emotional, and Whitney keeps telling her not to start crying already. The bridesmaids take robe pictures, and then it is time to put dresses on. Evan is enjoying the groom's suite, which is the ultimate man cave. The photographer is ready for them, and it is about to go down. Back with the bridesmaids, Carlin reveals her dress to her bridesmaids. They all talk about how stunning she look, and then take pictures with the bridesmaids. Carlin takes a picture with each, and sweet Callie is emotional about Carlin leaving the house. Carlin says she got close with the little girls the past couple years.  Aunt Kim has come up with a flower crown, and they add the veil.

Carlin has a first look with her dad, and Carlin cries as she walks up. Gil cries when he sees her. Carlin cries as she gives Gil his tie, which has a patch on the back that says "I'll always be your little girl." Carlin is crying as she recounts this moment in the talking head, and it is clearly an important moment for her.

The time has arrived for the ceremony, and Evan's parents are seated. Erin tells Carlin she should be taking everything in, and then Whitney, Erin and Carlin say a quick prayer. Erin's prayer makes her cry, and Callie is crying again as well. The groom and bestman take their places, and then the rest of the wedding party makes their way in. Lawson says he opposed an outdoor wedding because he was scared it would rain, but really it turned out beautiful. The flowergirls and ring bearers make their way down the aisle, and then it is time for Gil and Carlin's big moment. Evan sees her for the first time, and he cries and she walks down the aisle. Carlin says she is looking into her future, and it is absolutely perfect. Gil gives Carlin away, and the first preacher welcome everyone to the wedding. Gil then takes over, and tries to keep his remarks short due to the heat.  He tells Evan to treasure Carlin like she is valuable, and tells Carlin to treat Evan like he is superman and he will be. He concludes with telling them that they should let nothing come between them. Then they switch preachers again for the vows, and they go with the traditional vows. Evan goes, and Carlin goes next and is crying at the end. Now, it is time for the song.

They are so nervous for the duet, and they sing together. Evan starts the song, and Carlin says there is a connection when they are singing together and you forget about everyone watching.  They sing the duet, and Gil says this is one of the most special things of the whole wedding. They finish the song, and everyone talks about how great it was. They then exchange rings. The preacher announces them husband and wife, and then says: "let us pray." Everyone is surprised, but apparently this preacher likes to mess with people who have saved their first kiss for their wedding day. The couple laughs, the Preacher prays, and then they finally can kiss. As they kiss, the preacher says: "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder" and then introduces the Stewarts.  They leave the ceremony, and sneak off for a moment of private. The wedding party exits, and then it is time for the dancing.

The reception starts, and Evan and Carlin cut the cake. Everyone knows these two are too playful to not have fun with the cake, and there is a little smooshing. Next, it is time for the speeches. Ethan goes first, and then Erin and Whitney go. Erin jokes that she thinks Carlin and Evan will be the best to have the most children. She's made her contribution- four is getting close- and then everyone stops, and Erin announces she is pregnant. Erin says it was accidental- and then finishes her speech. It is now time for the dancing. Evan and Carlin go first, and Lawson plays for them as they dance. They do a nice job, and it clearly a special moment for Carlin. They finish the dance with a kiss, and in Carlin's words, it was "fireworks."  Then Carlin has her dance with her dad, and he says it was a special moment. Michael said it was special that he did that knowing how much work her dad put in and how much it meant to Carlin. Carlin says the dance was really about all the time they practices. Carlin and Evan then have a sparkler departure. Evan and Carlin thank everyone for making their dreams come true. Their family is excited to see what the future holds.

[unclefungusthegoat]

A CONFUSION OF TONGUES - Far Cry 5 Week Day 3 (The Resistance)

Day 3, YAY! I had the greatest time ever writing this. It’s just a pile of stupid crap but @lucy-and-loki wanted a story where Chad, Wheaty and Cheeseburger were mentioned and so this is what I came up with.

And anyway, it’s about time Chad gets some love hahahaha

Chad Wolanski simply wants to mind his own business, work out what the hell a vegan burger is so that he can woo Adelaide Drubman, and preferably not have to talk to the obnoxious John Seed, who has just shown up at The Grill Streak, with a proposition and a couple of thinly disguised threats.

And what is he going to do about it?

Let's just say the Tower of Babel has got nothing on Chad.

This can be read on AO3: HERE

My whole Far Cry Week series can be read: HERE

Chad Wolanksi had never made a vegan burger in his entire life. As far as he was concerned, plants were plants and the only way they should be anywhere near his grease-slathered grill was having been digested once by the elk or bison sizzling over the heat.

Only… Adelaide Drubman wasn’t of that opinion.

Not since she’d met that spinach worshipping, kale for brains Californian.

God, that woman was a cougar , sex on legs with a quick wit, flirty charm and a healthy appetite to boot. Exactly the sort of woman Chad Wolanski went for. He held the long revered stance that the way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach… and so here he was, on a blisteringly hot July afternoon, stood on the porch of The Grill Streak, experimenting his way through heaps of unfamiliar produce to whip up the perfect vegan burger.

He’d drop by the marina and give it to her personally.

Maybe he’d invite her out for a steak?

Show her what she was missing out on.

As he mushed and mashed and squashed and pounded his latest attempt into a patty sized lump and tossed it onto the grill, he heard brakes screeching to a halt in the parking lot. One of those horrendous Peggie songs was blasting on full whack through the open window. The smooth humming cut out as the engine was switched off, the door slammed dramatically behind the driver, and footwear obviously inappropriate for the mountainous Whitetail region came striding towards him.

“Mr Wolanski?” Chad could hear the smug grin in the way the approaching voice drew out the syllables of his name, hissing a little on long ‘s’. He knew exactly who it was. Being a business owner of some renown, reputable and profitable in a county famed for its carnivorous population (Chad would rather die than miss the annual Testy Festy), he’d been expecting the manicured bastard for a while.

A fly danced around the misshapen patty of black beans, green beans, corn-beans right off a cob, whatever those goddamn chickpea-beans were, and something which the folks at Sunrise Farm called an ‘eggplant’. Didn’t look much like it came out of a chicken’s ass, but if it did, Chad very much wanted to get his hands on whatever oversized and no doubt juicy hen dropped the purple monstrosity.

Chad squashed the fat little insect straight onto the counter and watched it burst.

That’s exactly what he’d like to do to his latest visitor.

He turned and was faced with the ever irritating John Seed. A rare sight in this area, often far too busy sticking people’s heads into rivers down in the Holland Valley or looking at himself in a mirror, and definitely an unwelcome one.

“You are certainly an industrious man, Mr Wolanski, to be braving the heat of your kitchen in this weather.” John laughed, slick lawyer small talk weakened only by the fact that Chad could see that the man’s brow was glistening. He was probably desperate to be back at his ranch being fanned by swooning women. And why the hell was he insisting on wearing that ugly coat in 100 degree fahrenheit weather?

Chad offered no reply.

He sure as hell wasn’t about to offer a cold beverage either.

He’ll take my beverage, then he’ll take my restaurant.

All it took was a single step and Chad Wolanski was not going to take it.

John sauntered forward, surveying the Grill Streak in all her shabby, oily walled and grimy bathroom-ed glory, almost rubbing his hands together.

“You’ll be aware, Mr Wolanski, that my brother Jacob has, what one might call, an insatiable appetite for the protein food group. Something on which I’m sure the two of you can relate. And the same goes for rather a lot of his men, the ones who no doubt have paid a visit to your most nourishing and nurturing establishment.”

Chad watched this walking bacterial virus run his tattooed fingers along the surface of one of the outdoor seating tables, and rub the residual coating of meat juice between them.

The wince of disgust didn’t go unnoticed.

“They are the new alpha pack of this county, strong, loyal, a collective, more united than ever. A true militia. They make Eli Palmer’s group look like a book club. And you must take some of the glory for that, Mr Wolanski. You have provided a great service to these men and women. Fed and watered them, shared your bounty, relinquished your greed and gluttony and gave it to the community. You should be proud.”

Chad smelt his heap of mangled beans burning, and cursed under his breath. Damn Seed family, never shutting up, a permanent pain in the ass. He’d have to start all over again, and cutting up the eggplant had been hard enough last time. Ignoring John, he turned and grabbed his spatula, scooped up the patty and tossed it into a nearby garbage can.

“I have a proposition for you, Chad-”

“Iaigihtgohnnsyll, Jwn, sogtffmylndbakinyrfcycahrnfukff” Chad growled, hauling himself down the front stairs, spatula raised, wielded like a pitchfork, as if he were defending America from the British.

John’s face became utterly blank, that smirk finally wiped away. Eyes wide, brow furrowed, mouth agape at the string of unintelligible words he’d just had hurled at him. Chad relished in just how nervous even the spatula seemed to be making him. A part of him wished that John would cause trouble, and he could give him a good hiding with his utensils.

Whitehorse wouldn’t have cause to charge him with assault if he was defending his property… and would also probably be glad to hear that John Seed’s backside got what was coming to him at the hands of Hope County’s finest spatula.

“Imntinrstdinyrkultshihsujsfukffnlivmhtmwrk”.

John still didn’t move, just stood and stared.

“Dntmkmywsthz…” Chad raised his makeshift weapon again.

A bird squawked in the trees.

One of Jacob’s chosen sped on by, honking their car horn in victory.

The stifling airless day was suddenly treated to a short lived breeze.

“... I’m sorry… WHAT?”

All pretence of polite society and schmoozing was gone.

“Yhyrdm.”

“Uh… I…” John spluttered, completely oblivious to what was going on.

“YcntkyrPrhjctnshviuyrss”

“Are you even speaking English right now?”

“Alystmnhtspkinssholunlysmonuh-”

Chad could have sworn that John nearly reached into his inner coat pocket to retrieve a crucifix, in the hope that he could banish the demon that spoke in tongues.

“Those aren’t words- ”

“Yrthonlfkrnthcwntwhudnunstnm-”

“Do they not teach diction in Montana?”

“DthynhtichyhwtnhdrhssnthdhknGyhgh?”

“Maybe if you spoke a little slower , a little louder ?”

“IlspkhwwIwnthnyvrmuh-”

The usually dangerously collected lawyer was seething with visible rage. Chad couldn’t tell if he had a holster on his hip under that coat of his, but suspected that even with his track record of behaviour that went beyond questionable legality, John Seed wouldn’t be stupid enough to draw a pistol on a man armed only with a spatula in broad daylight.

“If this is supposed to be humorous, I warn you now, I am not a man who appreciates or tolerates being messed around and made to look a fool- ”

“Wlyhlkafllrhdyfyhcntuhndstnamnspkyonlngwg.”

“The Father requires your co-operation in these matters, and it would be wise not to play games with his patience, or mine- ”

“Ivlrdygvnmnswrntsno.”

John clamped his lips together, and breathed heavily, trying to regain his composure. There was a vein throbbing in his forehead, sweat now running from his hairline as they faced each other in the almost unbearable sunlight. Chad wondered just how much longer the man was going to endure this undignified performance, but realised he was in for an encore when John pushed his shoulders back, and plastered a smiling grimace on his face.

“Now, Mr Wolanski... we’re going to try again.” His voice was low, ominously quiet and all the wrong kinds of pleasant. “I have a proposition for you, one that would bring you into the Project’s embrace as a brother-”

“ThnkbhnthnkmnonlchdnIlkithawy.”

John threw his hands up in frustration.

“Do you have a sous-chef who I could speak to…” John cut himself off before finishing his point, folding his arms and resting his head in his trembling hand, rubbing at his temples, “No, why am I even asking , of course you don’t…”

“OnlnIndsm, ImnbsdmnckswthaBlngs, nIdfyntldntnyh-”

“Will you just silence yourself, for a moment, so I can think- ”

“Mlnmryls-”

“I warned you about the punishment for disrespect , Mr Wolanski, I am not an enemy you want to have. I can make your life exceptionally difficult- ”

“GhydIdlktsyyhtrhy, Jwn, Iljsthrwynmgrlnwhchycklkthundrfdgohtyr-”

“Pride is the most unforgivable of all sins, Chad-”

“FnyIhrdiwsbyna-”

“Utter another string of mumbled incomprehensible slop and I’ll-”

“Ylwh? Wwosaonwthspatulahr?”

John’s eyes darted towards the spatula, having finally picked up on a single, solitary word. Chad bared a knowing smile, unbrushed teeth yellowed with age saying everything else he wanted to say. I’m not afraid to use this and make it hurt. Maybe Adelaide will see him as a hero, cast her beetroot smoothie chugging toyboy out into the water for Ragnar to eat, and come running into his bare rugged chest and muscular arms? The scene briefly played out in front of his eyes, like the cover of one of those cheesy romance novels he flicked through in the clinic waiting room when he went to have his cholesterol measured.

More music came from the road, and Chad couldn’t have been happier to see Wheaty rolling up in a deep red 1970 Kimberlite ZZT, with Elton John’s ‘Tower of Babel’ crooning out of the speakers. Upon seeing the situation at hand, the teenager stuck his head out of the window, looking deeply concerned.

“Guess I got here just in time, huh? I’ve seen what he can do with that thing, Mr Seed, believe me, it’s not pretty.”

He hopped out of the car and half-skipped awkwardly over.

“Uh, if it’s not a bad time, Mr Wolanski? Wade asked me to pick up his usual?”

Not relinquishing his grip on the spatula, and not taking his eyes off of John, Chad replied:

“Thgtthbyrwznadyht?”

Wheaty shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand sheepishly.

“Well, Cheeseburger’s been a bit grouchy since he’s been on the diet Doctor Lindsey recommended and uh, well Wade’s feeling a bit sorry for him, y’know?”

“ImnhtsprhzdWytprthgcnlvnfsh, nydsmytngudolAmyrcnchz.”

“Yeah, I know right? Poor thing’s looking miserable as hell right now...”

“Ilmkhizomthndntywrryh.’

“Thanks Mr Wolanski, that’s a big help-”

Wheaty trailed off, double taking at their audience, and Chad saw that John was gawking again, his gaze this time dancing between the young boy, who was so effortlessly communicating with what he had considered to be crude, Neanderthalic grunting, and Chad, who had not let up on said grunting.

“Wha- HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT? WHAT IS HE SAYING? ” John demanded, screeching like a PTA mother offended by store bought cakes at a bake sale.

Wheaty frowned, confused by the question.

“What is it that you don’t get, Mr Seed?”

“I- wha- he’s not saying any words. There are NO WORDS THERE. ” John was losing it, looking like he was on the verge of fainting with utter bewilderment. He wobbled, and gripped the side of the nearest greasy table, eyes scanning the floor, looking at nothing, as he tried to process what the hell was going on. Chad chuckled to himself silently. He couldn’t wait to tell Adelaide how he’d made John Seed squeal like a mid-tantrum toddler.

Maybe he’d get a steak and sex?

“...Are you OK, Mr Seed? Are you having a stroke?” Wheaty made no move to help the man, but pulled out his cell phone. “I could try and get a signal and call an ambulance?”

“Trznzygnlhr-” Chad started.

John’s head snapped up and he threw both of them a filthy glare. Straightening up, he adjusted his vest and jacket, smoothed his hair back, still visibly vibrating with boiling rage, and flounced away towards his sun-warmed Mercedes, calling back as he went.

“Mark my words, Wolanski, I know your game! The wrath of the Father shall rain down upon you for your contempt! You will rue the day you made a mockery of me... and I shall so enjoy watching this shithole burn to the ground! And when you feel the hand of the Project’s justice, there’ll not be a single goddamn person there to listen to your insolent vociferating- ” He spat, before climbing into his car and speeding away towards the Henbane River as fast as the engine could take him.

Chad and Wheaty stood watching the dust rise behind him in a daze.

“And he says he can’t understand you … what the fuck does ‘vociferating’ mean?” Wheaty asked, as they retreated back to the safety of the shady Grill Streak. Both were in need of a Whistling Beaver beer and Chad wasn’t exactly one for being too concerned with age of drinking laws, or even permits to sell alcohol in the first place. No one asked, so he didn’t say.

“Idnszpzwlevrno, hsrahllancminbk” Chad laughed, before suddenly deflating again at the sight of mountains of uncooked beans.

Wheaty leaned over to peer at it, frowning at how unappetizing it all looked.

“Mrs Drubman coming for dinner?”

Chad beamed at his young friend.

Things would soon be as they should again. Seed-less, bean-less and vegan-less.

“Yh. Ihpzo.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------

WHEATY'S GUIDE TO SPEAKING CHAD

Iaigihtgohnnsyll, Jwn, sogtffmylndbakinyrfcycahrnfukff - I ain’t gonna sell John, so get off my land, back in your fancy car and fuck off

Imntinrstdinyrkultshihsujsfukffnlivmhtmwrk - I’m not interested in your cult shit so just fuck off and leave me to my work

Dntmkmywsthz - Don’t make me use this

Yhyrdm - You heard me

YcntkyrPrhjctnshviuyrss - You can take your project and shove it up your ass

Alystmnhtspkinssholunlysmonuh - At least I’m not speaking asshole, unlike someone

Yrthonlfkrnthcwntwhudnunstnm - You’re the only fucker in the county who can’t understand me

DthynhtichyhwtnhdrhssnthdhknGyhgh? - Do they not teach you how to not dress in the dark in Georgia?

IlspkhwwIwnthnyvrmuh - I’ll speak how I want, thank you very much

Wlyhlkafllrhdyfyhcntuhndstnamnspkyonlngwg - Well you look a fool already if you can’t understand a man speaking your own language

Ivlrdygvnmnswrntsno - I’ve already given my answer and it’s no

ThnkbhnthnkmnonlchdnIlkithawy - Thanks, but no thanks, I’m an only child and I like it that way

OnlnIndsm, ImnbsdmnckswthaBlngs, nIdfyntldntnyh - Only one I need is me, I’m the best damn cook south of Billings, and I definitely don’t need you

Mlnmryls - My land, my rules

GhydIdlktsyyhtrhy, Jwn, Iljsthrwynmgrlnwhchycklkthundrfdgohtyr - Go ahead, I’d like to see you try John, I’ll just throw you on the grill and watch you cook like the underfed goat you are

FnyIhrdiwsbyna - Funny, I thought it was being a...

Ylwh? Wwosaonwthspatulahr? - You’ll what? Who’s the one with the spatula here?

Thgtthbyrwznadyht? - Thought the bear was on a diet?

ImnhtsprhzdWytprthgcnlvnfsh, nydsmytngudolAmyrcnchz - I’m not surprised, Wheat, the poor thing can’t live on fish, needs meat and good old American cheese

Ilmkhizomthndntywrryh - I’ll make him something, don’t worry

Trznzygnlhr - There’s no signal here

Idnszpzwlevrno, hsrahllancminbk - I don’t suppose we’ll ever know, he sure as shit ain’t coming back

Yh. Ihpzo. - Yeah. I hope so

[newstfionline]

Monday, June 21, 2021

‘I quit’ (NYT) The blazing-hot job market is in part being fueled by two words: I quit. According to the Labor Department, nearly four million people quit their jobs in April, the most on record. The dynamic has placed more power firmly in workers’ hands: With employers offering higher wages and incentives to combat the labor shortage, many workers—especially in low-wage positions in restaurants and hotels—are leaving their jobs and jumping to ones that pay even slightly more. The pandemic has driven workers to quit for other reasons as well. People were able to save money and pay down their debts, giving them a cushion to leave jobs that left them dissatisfied. Other workers, disinclined to give up remote work, are abandoning jobs that are less flexible.

‘Protected them to death’: Elder-care COVID rules under fire (AP) Barbara and Christine Colucci long to remove their masks and kiss their 102-year-old mother, who has dementia and is in a nursing home in Rochester, New York. They would love to have more than two people in her room at a time so that relatives can be there too. “We don’t know how much longer she’s going to be alive,” Christine Colucci said, “so it’s like, please, give us this last chance with her in her final months on this earth to have that interaction.” Pandemic restrictions are falling away almost everywhere—except inside many of America’s nursing homes. Rules designed to protect the nation’s most vulnerable from COVID-19 are still being enforced even though 75% of nursing home residents are now vaccinated and infections and deaths have plummeted. Frustration has set in as families around the country visit their moms and, this Father’s Day weekend, their dads. Hugs and kisses are still discouraged or banned in some nursing homes. Visits are limited and must be kept short, and are cut off entirely if someone tests positive for the coronavirus. Family members and advocates question the need for such restrictions at this stage of the pandemic, when the risk is comparatively low. They say the measures are now just prolonging older people’s isolation and accelerating their mental and physical decline.

Southwest US states bake, wildfire threatens Arizona towns (AP) The Southwest U.S. continued to bake Saturday, and weather forecasters kept warnings in effect for excessive heat in Arizona, Nevada and desert areas, at least through the weekend. High temperature marks didn’t fall Saturday, but Phoenix reached a sweltering high of 115 degrees (46 C) for the day and Las Vegas hit 111 degrees (44 C). Both were 3 degrees shy of records for the date, forecasters said. In Arizona, fire officials blamed extreme heat for the spread of a wildfire that started late Wednesday and grew by Saturday to nearly 27 square miles (70 square kilometers) near Strawberry and Pine, mountain towns east of Interstate 17 between Phoenix and Flagstaff.

Life-threatening flash flooding rises in Claudette’s path (AP) Forecasters warned of life-threatening flash flooding in parts of the Deep South, particularly across central Alabama, as Tropical Depression Claudette traveled over coastal states early Sunday. Heavy rain led to high water late Saturday into early Sunday in the Birmingham and Tuscaloosa metropolitan areas. Claudette was expected to cross into the Atlantic Ocean on Monday, and regain tropical storm strength over eastern North Carolina.

US Catholic bishops and communion (NYT) The divergence of the conservative American Catholic church from Pope Francis has come into sharp focus. On Friday, U.S. Catholic bishops decided to draft new guidance on communion that would deny President Biden the sacrament because of his support for abortion rights. The vote flouted a warning from the Vatican and was squarely aimed at Biden, above on Saturday, perhaps the most religiously observant president since Jimmy Carter. The bishops are expected to vote on a text in November. But on Saturday, Pope Francis said nothing, church officials and experts said, because he remains confident that the American conservatives would never have enough votes to pass a doctrinal declaration on banning communion. Nonetheless, the pope’s allies worry that the rite of communion will be turned into a political weapon.

At least 15 die in multiple attacks near US-Mexico border (AP) Gunmen aboard a number of vehicles staged attacks in several neighborhoods in the Mexican border city of Reynosa on Saturday, and at least 15 people died in clashes that caused widespread panic, according to local law enforcement. The Tamaulipas state agency coordinating security forces said in a statement that the attacks began in the early afternoon in several neighborhoods in the eastern part of the city, which borders McAllen, Texas. The area’s criminal activity has long been dominated by the Gulf Cartel, but there have been fractures within the gang.

As Brazil tops 500,000 deaths, protests against president (AP) Anti-government protesters took to the streets in more than a score of cities across Brazil on Saturday as the nation’s confirmed death toll from COVID-19 soared past half a million—a tragedy many critics blame on President Jair Bolsonaro’s attempt to minimize the disease. Saturday’s marches came a week after Bolsonaro led a massive motorcycle parade of supporters in Sao Paulo, though his allies and foes differ dramatically on the size of that event.

EU Opens The Door To American Travelers. But Be Sure To Read The Fine Print (NPR) Americans are now able to visit the European Union again, vaccinated or not. The European Council has updated its list of countries whose citizens and residents should be allowed to travel freely to the bloc’s 27 member nations, and the United States is finally on it. But before you get on a plane, be aware there may be catches. In fact, there could be 27 different combinations of them. While the updated list published Friday is a recommendation on who may be granted entry based on their home country’s health situation, each EU government makes its own border decisions. This includes what nationalities to admit, whether to require PCR or rapid antigen coronavirus tests upon arrival, and whether quarantine is mandatory. And there’s yet another factor EU governments may take into account when deciding whether to grant access to American travelers: reciprocity. The U.S. government has not yet lifted its ban on non-essential travel by Europeans.

Feeling abandoned by Europe, Greece hardens migration policy (Reuters) With walled camps and tougher border controls, Greece is hardening its approach ahead of summer when migrant arrivals pick up, defying criticism from aid groups and saying it has little choice given a lack of support from the rest of Europe. The squalid conditions facing many asylum-seekers were laid bare last year when a fire devastated the sprawling Moria camp on Lesbos, and Greece has denied repeated accusations that its coast guard vessels have pushed back migrant boats as they entered Greek waters from Turkey. Greece was the frontline of Europe’s migration crisis in 2015, when a million refugees from Syria, Iraq and Afghanistan landed. The numbers have slowed sharply since, but Greece says it is still left shouldering much of the burden.

Thailand Once Shut Out Covid-19 but Is Now Pivoting to Living With It (WSJ) Last year, Thailand was one of the world’s top performers at fighting the coronavirus. It sacrificed the tourism dollars that normally buoy its economy to shut out Covid-19. In September, it celebrated 100 consecutive days of no locally transmitted infections. The government is now making a stark departure from that vision of an infection-free oasis. Its new message: Learn to live with the virus long term. Prime Minister Prayuth Chan-ocha pledged this week to fully reopen the nation in the next 120 days, or by mid-October, allowing most restrictions on business and tourism to be lifted. Foreign visitors would have to be vaccinated but could enter and travel freely. Doing so, he said, would mean accepting higher infection rates, but the step is necessary to ease the enormous suffering of those struggling to earn a living. “I know this decision comes with some risk because when we open the country, there will be an increase in infections, no matter how good our precautions,” he said in a televised address Wednesday. “But, I think, when we take into consideration the economic needs of people, the time has now come for us to take that calculated risk.”

Australia accused of 'excessive and unnecessary' secrecy (AP) Australia’s suppression of information seen as pivotal to a free and open media is at the center of accusations that the country has become one of the world’s most secretive democracies. Last week, a former Australian spy was convicted over his unconfirmed role as a whistleblower who revealed an espionage operation against the government of East Timor. It’s the latest high-profile case in a national system in which secrecy laws, some dating back to the colonial era, are routinely used to suppress information. Police have also threatened to charge journalists who exposed war crime allegations against Australian special forces in Afghanistan, or bureaucrats’ plan to allow an intelligence agency to spy on Australian citizens. Australians don’t even know the name of the former spy convicted Friday. The Canberra court registry listed him as “Witness K.” K spent the two-day hearing in a box constructed from black screens to hide his identity. The public and media were sent out of the courtroom when classified evidence was discussed, which was about half the time. The only sign that anyone was actually inside the box was when a voice said “guilty” after K was asked how he pleaded.

After cease-fire, Israel and Hamas revert to calibrated routine of provocation and reprisal (Washington Post) On just the second day of Prime Minister Naftali Bennett’s tenure, Jewish nationalists marched through East Jerusalem, which Israel occupied in the 1967 war, yelling, “Death to Arabs.” In what Hamas said was a response, the group launched incendiary balloons from Gaza, injuring no one but burning crops and wildlands. Hours later, Israeli warplanes struck two “military sites” in Gaza, injuring no one but unnerving residents. This was a version of the finely calibrated dance of provocation and reprisal well known to residents on both sides of the Gaza-Israel border. Nearly a month after a cease-fire ended 11 days of intense fighting, neither side is eager for a return to a full air war, according to military and political analysts, although the situation remains volatile. Hamas launched more fire balloons Thursday and Israel hit additional sites in Gaza, again with no reported injuries. But so far, Hamas has not resumed rocket fire, which would all but ensure a more muscular response from the Israeli military. Both sides are pressing their demands in negotiations over a longer-term truce being brokered by Egyptian mediators. Israel is insisting that Hamas return the remains of soldiers it has held since 2014 and two Israeli citizens it is assumed to hold. Hamas wants Israel to release hundreds of Palestinian prisoners and stop blocking millions of dollars that Qatar is seeking to provide to pay Palestinian government salaries in Gaza. As the talks go on, an international program to help Gaza rebuild is waiting to launch. Israel has yet to open the border crossings, except for humanitarian and emergency traffic. No mail has reached Gaza since fighting broke out May 10.

Jordan’s unprecedented palace drama moves to the courtroom (AP) Jordan’s version of a trial of the century gets under way Monday when a relative of King Abdullah II and a former chief of the royal court are to be ushered into the defendants’ cage at the state security court to face charges of sedition and incitement. They are accused of conspiring with a senior royal—Prince Hamzah, a half-brother of the king—to foment unrest against the monarch while soliciting foreign help. The palace drama erupted into the open in early April, when Hamzah was placed under house arrest. It has since broken taboos in Jordan and sent jitters through foreign capitals, with Western powers rallying behind Abdullah, an indispensable ally in an unstable region. The case exposed rivalries in Jordan’s traditionally discreet Hashemite dynasty and spawned unprecedented public criticism of the monarch. The defendants are the most senior establishment figures to appear before the security court, which typically goes after drug offenders or suspected militants. “As far as I know, there has not been a case this big in the history of Jordan,” said defense lawyer Ala Khasawneh. The state news agency Petra said the trial starts Monday.

[ayma-nidiot]

“Don’t Speak Their Names” - Shrimpshipping fic Chapter 34 (LAST CHAPTER)

This chapter on AO3 can be found here.

Epilogue - The Evergreen Greenhouse

~29 December 2007~

Even throughout his almost-over undergrad career - which involved a lot of trips to archaeological sites with Spinos - Rex still found the time to duel. As a matter of fact, he proudly approached the front door of his off-campus apartment with a trophy he just won from a local tournament - and against his father, no less.

“Weeves!” Rex called out. “I just won the tournament! Since we both just turned 21, why don’t we go celebrate with drinks?”

The first one to answer him was not his new husband, but rather his 2-year-old daughter. “Papa!”

“Amber!” Rex picked Amber up and gave her a big kiss on the cheek. “How ya’ doing, big girl?”

Indeed, Amber was a big girl; though she just turned two years old, she already showed signs of being gifted. She could already speak in complete sentences, count to 100, and recite the alphabet pretty well. Still, she loved many of the same things that typical toddlers did - not the least of which was her mother. “I’m feeling awesome! But… But…”

“You okay?”

“Someone’s not feeling so awesome… It’s Daddy.”

“Why, what’s wrong with him?” Rex put Amber down, and allowed her to lead him to the loo. He was not at all pleased to see Weevil there, praying to the porcelain goddess. “Gods, Weevil! What’s wrong?”

“Ugh…” Weevil gave Rex a pained look before throwing up into the loo again.

“Daddy’s been like this aaaaall morning.” Amber sounded like she was about to cry. “What should we do, Papa?”

It was then that Rex had just remembered Weevil drizzling a ton of chocolate syrup over his fried bee larvae a few weeks ago. At first, he thought that Weevil was just being a buttmunch as usual. But then Rex recalled the cravings he had during his pregnancy - and the speech his college doctor gave him, the one that all male shapeshifters were capable of getting pregnant. “It… It can’t be…”

“Papa?” Amber looked at her mother quizzically.

“Amber, get my phone. I’m gonna call the doctor and get Daddy there right away.”

After his wave of nausea finally abated, and Rex had made that call, Weevil put the toilet cover back on and pouted at his husband. “Rex, honey, come on. You don’t have to go that far. Just give me some Pepto-Bismol, and I’ll be fine.”

“Throwing up for an entire morning is totally not fine.” Rex picked Weevil up princess-style and put him in the middle of the 2006 Mazda 5 with Amber. “And you’re about to see that.”

____________

~A quick drive and 30 minutes later~

“So… So, what did you find, Doctor?” Weevil asked Dr. Balls.

“After performing the ultrasound, we’ve discovered that you’re pregnant, Mr. Raptor. Eleven weeks, to be exact.”

“What a sweet coincidence…” Rex smiled as he stroked Weevil’s belly.

“Anyway, I do not anticipate that you will need hospitalization, just some light bed rest for now. I’ll prescribe some antiemetics, though. You are more than welcome to visit should you feel the need to do so.”

“I… I see. Thank you, Doctor.” After Dr. Balls left, Weevil turned to glare at his husband. “Why didn’t you tell me that I’m capable of getting pregnant, dino brain?”

“Yeah, about that…” Rex scratched his nose. “When I first visited this doctor, he told me that all male shapeshifters are intersex. But they each have their own unique heat cycles, depending on what they can change into. Yours just aren’t as frequent as mine.”

“...Humph.”

“I’m sorry, Weeves, are you mad? You still want to keep the baby, don’t you?”

“Oh, I’ll keep the baby, all right. But you better treat me to bee larvae whenever I ask for it.”

“Yay!” Amber gave her father a happy hug. “I’m going to be a big sister!”

“Indeed you are,” spoke a middle-aged woman in scrubs, who had just entered the room.

“What? Mother?” Weevil didn’t expect to see Camellia come out of nowhere. “What are you doing here?”

“Grandma!” Amber ran to Camellia to give her a hug too. 

“I’m just getting some shadowing hours, that’s all,” Camellia spoke as she hugged her granddaughter back. “After seeing what Rex went through during his pregnancy, I’ve decided that I want to become an obstetrician.”

“That’s great! Congratulations!” 

Rex’s smile turned upside down when Camellia turned on the T.V., and the first thing that came on was a replay of Weevil’s now-infamous regionals victory.

“It’s hard to believe that Rex Raptor used to lose so much back in the day,” one of the Duel Monster Channel’s announcers spoke over a still of Rex’s face in defeat. “But now that he’s won a championship against Spinos Saurus, I think he’ll reach his former fame once again.”

“Oooh!” Amber had never seen this duel of her parents in their teen years. “Is that you, Papa?”

Rex facepalmed. “Yeah, yeah, that’s your Papa, all right.”

“So have you learned to use strategy since then, dino brain?” 

“Nah. Strategies are for dweebs and bug boys.” Rex held tightly onto Weevil’s hand. “And I’m so proud to be married to a man who’s both of them.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

The doctor interrupted this conversation, coming in with a few papers. “Okay, Mr. Raptor, here are your antiemetic prescriptions. I’m also going to schedule your 20-week ultrasound. As you know, not only will we be able to search for abnormalities, but we can also determine the sex of your baby.”

Weevil had just recalled what Phuckdis said right when future Amber was “supposed” to kill the bug duelist. “Oh, there won’t be a need for that second one. I already know that I’m carrying a boy.”

“You… You sure?” Camellia asked.

“I’m willing to bet my deck on it.”

“Then how are you supposed to beat me, bug boy?” spoke a voice from the adjacent hospital bed.

“Whoa!” Rex turned around to see Mai laying on that bed, with Joey by her side. “Again with the coincidental meetings, Joey?”

“Great, just the person I wanted to see…” Weevil felt another wave of nausea about to hit him, and clutched his gut tighter.

“Hey!” Amber ran over to Joey. “Now look what you did to Daddy!”

“Ehehehe…” Joey waved a nervous hand. “Hey.”

“...I know you! You’re that big meanie who took Papa’s Red-Eyes Black Dragon and Daddy’s Insect Queen, aren’t you?”

“Amber!”

Amber ignored her mother. “Someday, I’m going to beat you and get them back! You’ll see!” She stuck her tongue out at Joey. “You big buttmunch!”

“Okay, Amber, that’s enough,” Rex laughed as he picked up his daughter.

“I suppose our rivalry never really will die, will it?” Joey laughed back, then turned to talk to Amber. “Amber, you’re a very smart kid. I’d love to duel you someday.”

“...” Amber only pouted in response. “Okay, but you’re going to be bug juice.”

Weevil smiled, as he always did when his daughter used catch phrases from both of her parents. “So what brings you here, Joey?”

“Well…” Mai sat upright. “I’m almost done with my degree, and I moved to this university for the upper-level courses. I started feeling sick on my way to class today, so Joey escorted me to the clinic. And… it turns out I’m pregnant. With triplets, if I might add.”

“And if you couldn’t tell, I’m the dad!” Joey proclaimed proudly. 

“Of course, this idiot got the whole ‘marry first, have kids later’ thing backwards.” Mai rolled her eyes. “He only got the courage to propose to me yesterday.”

“Touché,” replied Weevil.

“Soooo.” Rex waggled his eyebrows at Joey. “Looks like Weeves and I weren’t the only ones busy making babies on my wedding night.”

“Hehehehe...” Joey chuckled nervously. “And what a coincidence that Mai and Weevil will probably give birth on the same day.”

“Then maybe you should be the ‘godparents’ of our son.” Weevil was only half-joking.

“You know what I think would be cool?” Rex stepped forward and started making grand gestures. “If we had one bed over here and another one over here. Weeves and Mai can be in the same delivery room. That way, we can all witness each other’s kids’ births.”

“I’m down for that!” Weevil and Mai appeared to agree with Joey.

“Actually, that can be arranged,” Dr. Balls cut in. “It’s more common than you think for friends or their spouses to give birth together.”

“Good to know.” Weevil groaned slightly as he got out of bed. “Well, I’ve got a final paper to write for biochemistry, so if you’ll excuse me.”

“Weeves, take it easy!” Rex helped Weevil out of the bed until he was confident he could walk on his own. “It would suck if you threw up all over your expensive laptop - or all over this floor - now wouldn’t it?”

“So I’ll see you again in nine weeks?” Dr. Balls patted Weevil on the shoulder, giving him the ultrasound pictures on his way out.

“You bet.”

“Fantastic. Now, no dueling or other strenuous activities until your second trimester, understood?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Weevil bowed on his way to the nearby pharmacy, giving a congratulations nod to Joey and Mai. He didn’t feel nauseated at the moment, but still felt muscle soreness from his morning sickness bout. He rubbed his belly while waiting for his antiemetic medications to be made, speaking to the unborn child in there. “So help me Ra, if I ruin my entire semester’s work because of you, you’ll be sorry.”

“That’s not very nice!” Rex used a much more caring tone with their future child, patting Weevil’s belly at the same time. “Don’t listen to your mom; he’s just cranky. Final exams and all that.”

“It’s weird how I’m the mom this time around… So, we can get each other pregnant.” Even with his antiemetics now in hand, Weevil didn’t yet feel like getting up from the pharmacy’s small sofa.

“Hey, Weevil?”

“Yeah, Rex?”

“Wouldn’t it be cool if we could, like, get each other pregnant at the same time?”

“Hahaha!” Weevil refrained from laughing too loudly, out of fear of exacerbating his morning sickness again. But now he felt like getting up, and held Amber by the hand. “Yeah, right. The stars would have to align perfectly for us to be in heat at the exact same time. Oh, and Rex?”

“Yeah, Weevil?”

“You owe me ¥2000 if the child I’m carrying is a boy.”

“Naw, that’s no good. You’ll owe me ¥3000 if it’s a girl.”

“Then it’s on!”

_________

~02 March 2007, 11:00~

“Hmm!” Dr. Balls looked closer at the 4D-ultrasound. “Well, Mr. Raptor, I’ll be. You guessed right; you are carrying your first son. And he’s a perfectly healthy lad, he is.”

“Ha!” Weevil turned to smirk at Rex. “What’d I tell you? Now pay up.”

“Grr, whatever…” Rex forked over three ¥1000 bills. “Seeing as how we’re married and share most of our finances, this is kind of pointless.”

“Aww!” Amber kissed Weevil’s growing baby bump. “Hi there, baby brother. I can’t wait to meet you!”

“Since the two of you will complete your doctorate work at the university, you’re more than welcome to give birth here,” Dr. Balls informed his patient while rummaging through files on his tablet. “Especially if you and Rex plan to teach at this university someday. Now, let’s see… Your due date is July 20th. A day before your own birthday, if memory serves.”

“Yeah, well, you know that whole thing about most people not giving birth on their due dates? I get the vibe I won’t. And with any luck, Mai won’t either.”

“The important thing is that the both of you have healthy pregnancies, yeah?” Dr. Balls began to pack a few items for Weevil. “By chance, Rex, do you still have the fetal doppler from your pregnancy?”

“Of course. I couldn’t just part with the damn thing.”

“Splendid! And, as always, feel free to call if and when you need something. Good day now!”

“Good day.” With that, Weevil blocked the incoming sun from his eyes, and without looking, he knew a bee had just landed on his finger. “Say, Rex? Can we stop by somewhere really quick before lunch? I just got an idea.”

“Sure! Where, exactly?” Rex spoke with Amber sitting upon his shoulders.

“I want to visit my old home. You know, the one I haven’t set foot into in nearly four years.”

“Whatever for?” Rex couldn’t believe that Weevil would ever want to go to the home he was mercilessly abused in. 

“You’ll see when we get there.”

“Argh, I’m not that patient, you know!” 

“Careful.” Weevil pointed to Amber as the small family crossed the street. “You’ve got a toddler on your shoulders.”

Before Rex could think of a comeback to that, he heard a middle-aged man’s voice suddenly call out from underneath him. “Change? You got spare change, young man?”

“Huh?” Rex looked down to see a raggedy man in a group of other homeless people. “Sorry, but I don’t carry cash on me.”

“Is it…?” The homeless man got up to get a better look at Weevil. “Could you be…?”

“Hey!” Rex put Amber down and instantly got defensive of Weevil. “Leave my husband alone, you freak!”

“No, hun, it’s okay.” Weevil stopped Rex from throwing any punches. “I know this man.”

“Weeves?” Rex couldn’t understand why Weevil, of all people, would want to take time out of his busy day to talk to a group of homeless people.

“So what happened?” Weevil asked.

“It turns out that I couldn’t keep The Underwood Company afloat. Not only were we about to file for bankruptcy, but all my employees revolted. Now I’m stuck here, depending on the goodwill of others just to have something to eat.”

“And they revolted because of how horribly you treated them, didn’t they? You know that maid Adelaide you abused, just because she was being kind to me? She’s working on her business degree now and wants to take over the company - under a new name, of course. In fact, my family and I were just on our way to visit the old Underwood house. Oh, and just so you know, your ex-wife is going to be an obstetrician soon. Not even your horrific abuse of her could stop her from achieving her dreams.” Weevil held his baby bump protectively. “Or mine.”

“Adelaide and Camellia are…” The homeless man knelt and cried. “And you…?”

“I can’t believe I’ve wasted my time talking to you. I have better things to do with my time. I hope that you suffer for the remainder of your days, and that karma is an utter bitch to you.” Weevil got one last look at the homeless man. “Goodbye, Roach Underwood.”

“Daddy, who is this creepy guy?” Amber looked at the homeless man curiously, still unaware of just who he was or what he had done.

“That’s just it - a creepy guy.” Weevil gestured for Amber to grab his hand. “Come along, Amber, there’s something I want you to see.”

“Weeves… That man we met, is he…?” Rex tried to say as Weevil rang the doorbell to the Underwood mansion; surprisingly, the exterior was rather well-kept.

“Yes. He is.”

Rex didn’t need to hear anything more, and didn’t want to dwell on what he knew was a prickly subject. So instead he commented on how nice Weevil’s childhood home looked like on the inside.

“Is that…?” One of Weevil’s old butlers noticed his former master’s presence.

“You can let him in!” Adelaide called from a far-off room. “It’s Master Weevil!”

“Master Weevil, you have returned!” Several maids and butlers flocked the entrance of the home, giving Weevil lots of hugs.

“Oh, I never thought I’d see the day!” a maid cried. “You look just like Madame Camellia!”

“Guys, guys, take it easy!” Weevil showed off his baby bump after everyone had stopped. “I’m not a little kid anymore; I have my own family now.”

“‘Sup!” Rex waved. “I’m Weevil’s husband, Rex Raptor. And this is our daughter, Ambrosia Camellia Ptera Raptor.”

“How do you do?” Amber curtsied with her sun dress.

“Oh-ho!” Adelaide chuckled. “You’ve raised a fine young lady already. Not to mention you’ve given her a pretty middle name. Well, now that you’re here, what can I do for you? Some lunch, perhaps?”

“Before we get to that, I want to show Amber a little something. By chance, is my childhood greenhouse still here?”

“As a matter of fact, yes. It’s the only room in the mansion that has remained untouched by the renovations.”

“R-Really?” Weevil didn’t expect that response from Adelaide. 

“Yes, really! Feel free to check it out for as long as you like before lunch.”

“Thank you! Come on, guys, come see!” Weevil sounded far more excited than either Rex or Amber. He cried tears of joy upon arrival, and stopped to smell a hibiscus flower. “It… looks just like I remember!”

“What’s so exciting about a bunch of plants?” Rex didn’t want to admit it, but he wasn’t all too interested in looking at a bunch of plants.

“Yes, we’ve got the best plants ever, but there’s something even better. Something that’s made me into the duelist I am today.” Weevil allowed a moth caterpillar from the hibiscus flower to crawl on his finger, and showed it to Amber. “Amber, this is a baby Acherontia lachesis , or the greater death’s head hawkmoth.”

“It looks just like your Petit Moth, Daddy!” Amber let the caterpillar crawl on her finger too. “It’s sooooo cute! Ooh!” A pink butterfly landed on Amber’s nose, causing the toddler to sneeze.

“You just sneezed off Greta oto, or the glasswing butterfly.”

“It’s so pretty!” Amber laughed, wanting to play with every little insect that touched her. “Can I stay here forever? Pretty please, Daddy? I wanna learn more about your beautiful bugs!”

“Wish we could, but Auntie Adelaide is gonna have lunch ready soon. But you can play here until then.”

“Hooray!” And with that, Amber ran off with the hawkmoth caterpillar still in her hand.

“Should you really be letting our toddler play with a creepy crawler called ‘death’s head hawkmoth?’” Rex raised an eyebrow.

“Spoken like a dino brain who doesn’t know jack diddly squat about insects.”

“Well, at least it’s good to know how you became an insect duelist.” Rex hugged his husband from behind as he watched their daughter play in the greenhouse. He let his hand drop to Weevil’s baby bump.

“She looks just like me when I was little. If it wasn’t for this greenhouse, I… I don’t know where I’d be today.” Weevil placed his hand on top of Rex’s. “I wonder if I can get our son to love insects, too.”

“So…” Rex laced his fingers with Weevil’s. “Speaking of our little boy, what do you think we should name him?”

Thinking about his adventures in San Francisco with Rex seven years ago, and how they deepened their bond there, it didn’t take Weevil long to think of an answer. “I want our son to be named Francis Bakura Raptor.”

____________

Author’s Note: HOLY SHIT, thank you for those of you who stuck this far. This is my second longest fic, and it's for a rare pair! As always, leave comments, constructive criticism, etc. if you can!

[ilvsyzj]

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Waking Up the Rest of the Elements.

Week #3, Day 5, Friday, 12/18/2020

     The next morning when Sky and I woke up Scarlet and Icy has grown since last night. We got ready for the day, fed all the animals and we went down to the Common Room for breakfast. Jeff and Brandy wasn’t speaking to each other so it was a peaceful morning. Everyone was amazed to see Scarlet and Icy. Brandy wasn’t interested, so she didn’t say anything. As we were cleaning up after breakfast Scarlet and Icy share some news that we never heard before. 

Scarlet: The team’s next task is to wake up the other elements. Right now, none of you have your element dragon inside you. You need them so that you can control your powers, without them you will not be able to control your powers, but you will lose your powers very easily in the war. Your Element Dragons protects your power from falling into the wrong hands. So, today we are going on an Element hunt. Sky and Jazzy doesn’t have their Element Dragons either. Our first place we are going to stop is the Ice Dragon Den. 

Icy: Also, Brandy needs more training. Being a party girl isn’t going to help you save your team. It is going hurt you and your team. So, for the next few days Brandy is to enter the Element Dens with all four of the Elements. Including the Combine Elements Dens as well. Brandy is to heal and take care of me and Scarlet. 

Brandy: I don’t know anything about dragons. I only know about regular animals like cats, dogs, and etc. 

Icy: Brandy, you are lying through your teeth. You know how to take care of dragons and regular animals. You just refuse to do it. Because you think your job is so boring. You are never in the action. You think your team only stick you on the side lines while everyone is in the action, saving lives and making difference in the world. That’s when you are wrong. Helping innocent animals and treating the sick animals is your job. Use your gift and don’t waste it. 

Brandy: Basically, I’m a doctor to all the animals. Great. 

Icy: All Healers are doctors. Unless, you don’t want to be a doctor. 

Brandy: I can’t become a doctor. Not a good one anyway. 

Icy: Because you take drugs. You been to rehab. 

Brandy: How did you?

Icy: Dragons are special. One of my special powers is to know what happens in the past before I was hatched. One of Scarlet’s special powers is to what happens in the future before she was hatched. Scarlet and I may be attached to each other, and we may have hatched from the same egg. But we have different personalities and powers. Yes, Scarlet and I are the Yin Yang Dragon, but we can’t use our powers until our owners have their powers. 

Sky: I’ve already have my ice powers. 

Icy: Yes, you do. But you don’t have your Ice Element Dragon. You only free it from its slumbers. You need your Ice Element Dragon in you to protect your Ice powers. Other wise your powers can be taken away from you. You’ll understand what I’m talking about once we go to the Ice Dragon Den today. 

Sky: Understood. 

Brandy: Well, I’m not going. 

Scarlet: Too bad. You have to go on to these basic training missions. If you fail to go through these basic training missions, the head of all Healers will know about it. Once she knows that you didn’t go through these basic training missions, then she has no choice but fail you. Then you have no choice but go back to your home. 

    When Brandy heard that if she fail to help us on our basic training missions she will have to return home. A place that she promise herself that she will never return to. Everyone can see that Brandy was making her decision. In the end Brandy nodded her head and agree to continue on with the basic training. 

Scarlet and Icy: Good. 

Scarlet: Don’t worry. Brandy won’t be partying anymore. Not unless she wants the head of all Healers to come out here and send her home. 

Brandy: I never said that I will stop partying. 

Scarlet: Jazzy, doesn’t like people who doesn’t focus on their training. You keep suggesting that they party every time they completed their training is starting to give Jazzy a headache. 

Brandy: Can’t we have some fun? 

Sky: Not at the expense of a war. 

Sarah: Partying is also a way to signal our enemy that we are here. We don’t need that signal when we are at a war. 

Jazzy: After we win this war we’ll have a big celebration. How’s that?

Brandy: Deal. -smiling- 

     With that settle. We all got ready for our day. Since we are going to Ice Dragon Den today, most of our team wore their winter outfits. Sky and I don’t need them because we don’t feel cold or hot, because of our powers. 45 minutes later we were off to the Ice Dragon Den. Since Scarlet and Icy can’t fly yet, I put them on my shoulder. The hike was an hour and 45 minutes. Vix was with us today, and she led most of the way but after 30 minutes Sky took over and led us to the entrance to Ice Dragon Den. 

Icy: Pretty. 

Scarlet: -sniffing- Ice monsters up a head. 

Vix: Okay, Sky. Go ahead. 

Sky: I’m to go ahead alone?

Vix: Yes. But Brandy is your backup. 

Brandy: Me? I don’t know anything about this place. 

Vix: Your job is to heal Sky if he’s injured. But not to interfere with his mission. 

Brandy: Understood. 

   The rest of us waited at the entrance while Sky and Brandy went inside. The rest of us just sat outside and waited for Sky and Brandy to return. While inside the Ice Dragon Den, Sky and Brandy read the directions and warnings. Brandy didn’t say anything and Sky was so interested in the surroundings of the den. There was only two levels inside this den and this is the top level. To get down to the second and final level Sky has to prove that he worthy of getting the Ice Dragon Spirit. But Sky didn’t have to prove that he’s worthy. Because he already did that when he free his Ice Dragon Spirit. Less than 10 minutes inside the den, Sky’s Ice Dragon Spirit appeared. 

Ice Dragon Spirit: -growling- 

Brandy: -shocked and amazed- Whoa. 

Sky: Hi. Remember me?

Ice Dragon Spirit: -sniffing Sky- Oh, yes I do remember you. Congratulations on hatching the Yin Yang Dragons. 

Sky: Thanks, but I had help from my girlfriend. 

Ice Dragon Spirit: I see. Now, you want me to protect your power. 

Sky: Yes. 

Ice Dragon Spirit: Who’s that?

Sky: -turning around- That is Brandy Tu. She is one of our Healers. She is here with me today because she needs more training and make sure I don’t die on this mission. 

Ice Dragon Spirit: Ah. The party girl who thinks having fun is more interesting then actually work. 

Sky: Yes. That’s her. 

Brandy: -wave at the Ice Dragoon Spirit- 

Ice Dragon Spirit: This one is a wild one. She needs a lot of training. Keep an eye on her. 

Sky: Understood. 

Ice Dragon Spirit: Good. Now, just go to that wall over there and read what’s on the wall and I’m yours. But if you mispronounced any word then I will disappear. Then you will have to come find me. The next time you find me it wouldn’t be so easy. 

Sky: Understood. 

Ice Dragon Spirit: Good. 

Sky: -walking to the wall- I, Royal Prince Sky You, here by proclaim you Ice Dragon Spirit to be my Element Protector. I will only use my powers for good and not evil. 

   Just like that the Ice Dragon Spirit went into Sky without a fight. There was a bright light and in blink of an eye both Sky and Brandy was transported out of the ice den. When the bright light disappeared so did the entrance to the Ice Dragon Den. What surprised me the most was that Sky was wearing a different out fit. 

Jazzy: -shocked- What are you wearing?

Sky: -looking down- What the?

Icy: Once your element dragon is inside you, you get a transformation. What you are wearing is your ice element information. To go back to your regular clothing just say, “Deactivate.” 

Sky: Deactivate. 

    Just like that the bright returned and disappeared in blink of eye. Once the bright light was gone, Sky was wearing his old clothes again. 

Sky: Whoa. 

Icy: Yup. Every one who has a element will have new armor once you get your Element Dragon Spirits. 

Scarlet: Congratulations for getting your element dragon spirit. 

Sky: Thanks. It was pretty easy. Nothing attacked us. 

Scarlet: Once you free your element dragon spirit from their stone prison they will be more willing to come and protect you. So these missions aren’t very hard. Ready to go to the next stop?

Jazzy: Okay. Let’s go. Where is our next stop?

Vix: Volcano Dragon Den. Which is 30 minute hike from here. 

    That’s where we are heading next. Volcano Dragon Den. We weren’t even at the entrance yet and the temperature went up 100 degrees. When we got the entrance of the Volcano Dragon Den the rest of the team was sweating like crazy. They were drinking a lot of water. I went into the den with Brandy. Since my element power was a fire. Brandy was sweating and she was trying to drink less water, because she doesn’t want to pee in the woods. Or in the dens. Scarlet was right because in less than 5 minutes my Fire Dragon Spirit appeared in front me with no problem. I read my promise and my Fire Dragon Spirit went inside me. When Brandy and I transported out of the den, my clothes was different as well. I said “deactivate” so I can wear my regular clothes. My Fire Dragon Spirit also told Brandy that she needs more training, and stop being so wild. Brandy was too afraid to say anything to the my dragon spirit because she was too scare to open her mouth. As we were going to the next stop our team took a lunch break. Because most of us are hungry and everyone needs to pee since we drank so much water. 45 minute lunch break was all we needed. 

Brandy: Okay. Hiking is not made for me. My feet is so sore. 

Vix: You are wearing the wrong type of shoes. 

Brandy: I didn’t know we were going to do this much hiking. 

Jazzy: Here. Brandy take off your shoes and I’m going to make your feet feel better. 

    I took out a large bowl and feel it with water, and I used my power to heat up the large bowl of water. I added some lavender oil and then Brandy put her feet into the large bowl of warm water with lavender oil. 

Brandy: Oh my god! 

Jazzy: Better?

Brandy: Mhm. Thanks. 

Jazzy: After a long hike and when you wear the wrong shoes, it’s best to soak your feet in some warm water with lavender oil. Or whatever oil you prefer. Also, Brandy get some good hiking boots. Otherwise your feet will continue be this sore. 

Brandy: Understood. 

Sky: Always wear hiking boots or combat boots when we are out working and training. You will get into trouble if you wear the wrong type of shoes. We had a friend who was in training with us in the past, and he wore the wrong type of shoe. After a whole week of training his feet were covered in blisters. He didn’t graduate from Youth Basic Training, and he died 3 months later because he was more worry about his blistered feet then training. Number one tip wear hiking boots or combat boots, or good tennis shoes. Also we don’t have that much time to help you soak your feet. Right now is fine, because we’re in the safe environment. But in a war we don’t have time for this. 

Brandy: Understood. 

Sky: Good. 

Brandy: How long do I usually soak my feet?

Jazzy: 15 minutes. You don’t want to soak your feet too long, other wise you’re going to get raisin toes. 

Brandy: -laughing- 

    After 15 minutes of Brandy resting and soaking her feet. Then we went to our next destination. The hike to Wind Two-headed Dragon Den was going to be a 2 hour hike, but since Brandy wore the wrong type of shoes. She isn’t gong to make the 2 hour hike. So, we decided to go back home so Brandy can rest. Jeff had to give Brandy a piggyback ride back home, because her feet was hurting so much. 45 minutes later we are home. Brandy went back to her room to clean up and rest. So did everyone else. Tomorrow we are going to continue with our mission. Sky fed the animals and I took a shower. After I finished cleaning up Sky did the same thing. Then Sky and I took a nap since we are so tired. 3 hours later Sky and I woke up and went downstairs to the Common Room for dinner. It turn out the entire team and Healers took a well deserve nap. We had a quiet dinner, while Jeff and Brandy was starting to talk to each other again. But there’s no more fighting. After dinner we cleaned up and watch little bit of the news. Which I didn’t like because more people were dying, and more people are being captured by the bad people. I went back to my room because I didn’t want watch anymore of the news. Plus I was getting sleepy so I brushed my teeth and went to bed. In less than 5 minutes I fell asleep and I didn’t even hear Sky come in. I was that tired. 

-To Be Continue- 

[sportymama]

If I had a dime for every time I thought our lives would be ordinary, I’d be a wealthy woman! Instead, gratefully and thankfully I am rich beyond measure in a million other ways that money and possessions can’t come close to buying. Living an ordinary life..this just isn’t in the works for us.

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of visitors, with more on the way over the next two weeks, which we love. It’s fun to be a “tourist” in the place you live. There is something about sharing your dreams with people that is so magical. Giving them a glimpse as to the WHY we do, and act, and live the way we do. As adventurers and joy seekers my hubs and I relish these sweet moments to bring people to off-the-beaten-path places that we have known and loved for so long here in Costa Rica. We love sharing why this place is so special to us, and the decisions and (many)prayers that went into this and making it our home. We love sharing the obstacles that God put in front of us, the wait, and the right path that He finally put us on to get here. We are thankful for the friends and visionaries that we met over ten years ago, who we’ve stayed in touch with, and continued to inspire us on this journey. 

Costa Rica isn’t for everyone, and we fully understand that. The way of life here is  S L O W (unless you’re driving) and rides on a timeframe that most people don’t roll on. A slow-roll vacation is one thing, but living by that day to day is a whole different experience. Thankfully my hubs and I are very patient and don’t get overly-excited when things aren’t in our time frame. It’s just part of life here. The water goes out, and the electricity goes out, sometimes during the hottest times of the year. Things break quickly, but it’s not always easy to fix them or have them repaired quickly. There are bugs. (have I mentioned that on a few past blogs HAHA) Some days the language barrier can be hard, although I can speak and understand Spanish pretty well (and am still learning and taking classes) there are times that it’s rough. Living on the beach, things rust and just quit working that you wouldn’t suspect. Phones and computers die quickly due to salt air. Growth is slow, and in fact, the village where we reside in is the same as it was ten years ago on our first visit. In fact, it has gotten smaller. It was these types of things we LOVED about it and why we fell in love with it. However, there are days that I just feel out of sorts, weary and this day happened to be one of those days.

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After a wildly-fun week with our daughter and her roommate visiting, going to some incredible places, playing tour guide, and driving the milage of a drive from here to Belize, I was ready for a quiet night at home on Saturday. My daughter and I drove into the city to take a tanned, sleep-deprived CW to the airport. I have to admit, I was a little….tired myself (a lot), unraveled and on the fray already. After leaving the airport we got onto the highway, to make the 90 min- 2-hour drive home. There was a lot of traffic as per the usual for a weekend. Then I could feel it. The air in our SUV started to feel “off” and a little warm. I looked at my temperature gauge and noticed that was rising towards the H! Hmm. I pulled to the side, which was a flat-out act of playing Frogger, and I turned the A/C off. When we left our beach town yesterday it was 91 degrees F (with a real feel of 109) IT WAS A LITTLE TOASTY! I thought…in all of my mechanical wisdom (none) that maybe using the air in such heat, the car needed a rest. I surely did! Once I shut the air off and sat for 30 seconds, the temp went down. “OK..good!” I said to my youngest Cub who was riding shotgun. We merged back into traffic, passed a tollbooth, paid our colones, and I looked at the gauge again…it was now all the way to the H. Hmmm! That means HOT! Which we were coincidentally, with no A/C, 100 degrees of sun on us, in the middle of the highway, just out of the city. I pulled back off onto the side of the road and shut the car off. I took a 30-second “Jesus take the Wheel” moment and texted my hubs who is in the States. THIS POOR MAN! This Saint of a husband of mine. What is he possibly going to do? What he did is what he does so well; calmly, coach me through a couple of different things. By the grace of God, we had water in the car. As surfers, we carry it as our after-saltwater rinse. I popped the hood, added some water where needed, but could tell the radiator was much too hot to open, and went to turn the car back on. Nope. Still overheating. I climbed back into the car and looked at my daughter. I said, “well….hmmm.” I got back out and stood in front of my open hood as cars raced by coming out of the tolls like racehorses on a track. Semi trucks were whizzing by and honking their horns. Tourist vans and shuttles screaming by, jocking for their position into two lanes after the width of the tolls. I stood staring at a steaming engine and for a brief second felt very vulnerable the helpless. We were far (12-15K) from the next gas station that I could tell on Google, but had mountains to climb to get there. I got back into the car to check on my daughter; I said: “Aren’t you happy that I don’t panic?” Which is true, but to be completely honest, inside I was feeling a slight tinge of alarm and dismay. I was in a “mother’s protection mode” but under the shield I felt a heave of my chest and was spinning a million things around in my head. Things that were coming into play; no mechanic, in a fair amount of traffic, the sun getting lower in the sky, which was great for the heat factor, but meant that sunset would be coming, leaving us not only in the dark on the road, but to drive (if we could) back home in the dark (worst thing ever) and EVEN if someone stopped, thinking about our vulnerability, being two gringas stranded, and the language barrier to explain the situation. I stood outside the car and whispered, “God. God in all of your power and mercy and saving, I NEED a miracle right now. Right this very moment, because honestly, I do not know what I am going to do.” 

Within 5 minutes of that whisper, a car pulled up. I was a little nervous because I couldn’t quite see who was in the car. I couldn’t tell who was getting out. Up walks this young guy followed by his sweet wife and baby. He said “You OK? I know you. From the gas estacion en Jaco. I work there, and I recognize you on the side of the road.” WHAT!? I was completely dumbfounded at this point, staring at this guy. And he says again “remember me? I know you from Jaco.” The miracle. I snap back together and say “YES! Oh my gosh, yes, I remember you, of course!” This young guy, from Jaco, 100K away, where we frequently get gas, and now will be THE ONLY PLACE we ever get gas, just happens to be driving back from San Jose with his wife and baby son and they recognize me. Sweaty, hair in a top-knot, baking on the side of the road, in a maze of cars, looking like a hot mess, they recognize me? The miracle. 

He starts peeking and poking around in my car and asks for mas agua. I pull out the few remaining bottles we have that are half-full, he wets the radiator and slowly starts to work the cap off. At this point, we were completely out of water. As this is happening another car pulls up, and an older man and his wife walk up. He brings out of his vehicle two big jugs of water. The miracle. The two men converse back and forth and look into the engine. They get the cap off and fill it with water. It was DRY, and the fan is not working. Nothing to cool the engine. The older gentleman pulls out a knife and starts to cut wires. I look at my daughter and smile as she’s Snapchatting this to her world fan base. and say, “is this really happening right now?” I ask the younger of the two guys if this is his amigo? “No” he replies, with a shake of his head. Just a random man and his wife. Good people. This older gentleman is slicing and splicing car wires and sparking wires off of the battery, all in an effort to get the fan running. He definitely knew what he was doing. Then he says “broken.” Ok, well there it is….. He splices wires back together and pulls out some electrical tape to secure them. Meanwhile, behind us, pull up two semi-truck drivers to add to our roadside party mix. They got out to share some conversation. They were great at blocking the oncoming traffic for us out of the hustle of the toll booths. Finally, the young man says “OK it’s holding a bit of water, but leaking. Please drive in front of me to the next gas station, so I know you get there safely.” I offer to pay them, and they would not accept the money.

The Cub and I hop into the car, the gauge is reading in the normal range, and we take off for the next gas station where we pull in, and the guy and his sweet wife and baby hop out, he pops the hood and fills the radiator again. This continues at EVERY gas station until we hit Jaco around 6 pm. (We left San Jose and the airport at 2:30p!!) Once in Jaco, he says “I can follow you to Esterillos if you like.” I knew at this point I was close enough to get home without running out of water. I was holding back tears. I could not believe the genuine, sweet gift that these people were to my daughter and me when we were in such great need. A random act of kindness from complete strangers. Once again I pulled money from my wallet and offered it to them. The only way I could think of besides my continued words of gratitude in my fragmented Spanglish, to repay them. I said, “Please, you saved me today! You were an answer to a prayer.” His sweet wife looked at me and shook her head no and said: “We do this for you de nuestro corazón because we love you.” (We do this for you from our heart because we love you)

Queue the tears. QUEUE. THE. TEARS!

The sweet guy asks if I have a phone and he puts his cell number into my phone. He says,  to please let him know if I need help explaining to a mechanic what’s wrong with the car (because as far as my Spanish goes I missed the Automobile Engine Course to explain) By the time my daughter and I got home, he had already texted me to see if we made it safely. The miracle. 

When we got home, our kids were waiting with our dog which they had kept all day. What a sight for my eyes. I was so happy to be back home. I FaceTimed with my hubs to fill him in. I laughed and cried a little over the story and sequence of events that played out. Laughing because nothing is ever ordinary and crying because of the enormity of graciousness, helpfulness, and love that I felt from complete strangers.

Number 5-million of WHY we love living here. The people. The kindness. Given, taken and shared. I try and talk to everyone, everywhere, even when I pull into the gas station and greet the attendant. Yes, I can be busy. I can be on my phone. I can be fidgeting with my radio controls, but I always think about people, because they MATTER. Maybe they aren’t having the best day. Maybe (doubtfully) I am the only gringa that decided to pull up and TALK that particular day.  I always share a smile. They are entirely free, and people LOVE receiving them. Thankfully, yesterday that came back to me. 

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Luke 6:38

The Miracle of a Gas Station If I had a dime for every time I thought our lives would be ordinary, I'd be a wealthy woman!

[ff15trashgoldenslumbers]

How would the bros handle a heatwave in Insomnia with an s/o that hates the heat? I'm stuck in the middle of a heatwave and I want to die. It's awful.

I’m so sorry you’re suffering, from the heat sweetie! I’m a person who is always cold, so when heatwaves happen I’m like the only person who’s like ‘This is fine.’ Hope this helps to cool you off!  ☆*~ﾟ⌒(‘-‘*)⌒ﾟ~*☆

~~~~~

Good morning Insomnia! We’ve got another scorcher today! With temperatures reaching to 100 degrees, that’s 37 in celsius for our scientist friends. This is going to go down in the record books as one of the hottest weeks of the year. So be sure to keep yourself hydrated and stay cool!

~~~~~

Noctis

“Noctis, get off me you’re heavy.” You moaned.

“Shhh, comfy.” Noctis replied.

You couldn’t complain, you could have a boyfriend trying to fuse with you by laying directly on top of you, blanketing you with his body and a rather comfy blanket, in the horrid heated of the day without the best A/C money could buy. Yet lucky Noct could afford it.

Insomnia was just a walking heated death trap.

Both Noctis and yourself had originally thought about stepping out to go get some slushies. Yet the chilliness of your shared apartment had fooled you both! Opening the door, the two of you were hit by a wave of heat, and Noctis slammed the door shut with a firm:

“Nope, not doing that.”

Before the Prince all but tossed you to the couch, then moved to the wall mount thermostat lowering it well below chilly. As you had developed goosebumps on your skin, before the Prince joined you on the couch with a blanket for a cuddle fest of epic proportions.

Now you weren’t certain if you’d freeze to death, or should risk the chance of getting up and trying to thaw outside without fear being burnt to a crisp.

“Hey, Noct.”

“Yeah?”

“Do we have any food in the house?”

“No.”

“We’re going to have to go out to get dinner.”

“I’ll send, Specs.”

You tapped the black blue locks currently resting on your chest, “We are not going to make, Ignis come out in this!”

Noctis turned those beautiful sapphires to you, “But he could make us slushies.”

Damn he was right.

~~~~~

Prompto

You must have been the biggest idiot on the face of Eos! You weren’t certain of what stupid idea demanded for you to go out and get popsicles at the convenience store down the street, but you did it!

Now you were a sticky, more than likely smelly mess, and your popsicles were more than likely juice at this point. Stepping into your apartment, you couldn’t think of nothing better than taking a nice shower, and then lay down to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day!

It was too hot to do anything!

Yet as you pushed the door to the apartment open, you could only stare in confusion, as everything within the living room was wrapped in cling wrap and all the electronics were missing! Holy Hell, were you robbed? Where was Prompto!?

“Promp-AH!” You were suddenly rewarded with a stream of water hitting you square in the face. Wiping your face, you stared at your boyfriend, posing away with a big  dopey grin on his face.

A large super soaker slung over his shoulder,“You got 5 minutes to put that stuff in the fridge and get locked and loaded! The entire front room is the battlefield, you’ll find ammo all over. Last one standing is the winner.”

A smirk crossed you face, as you quickly dashed into the kitchen, find yourself 2 super soakers and 4 hand pistols. Throwing the entire bag in the freezer, you dashed back out onto the battlefield.

It was shrieking mess, Prompto had the smart idea to load each gun with ice, so the ammo seemed almost unlimited, and freezing. The two of you bounced over furniture, playfully throwing insults to each other.

“Sorry, that butt was too cute and big to not hit.”

“Surrender, and i’ll only demand 100 kisses, instead of 100 and 1.”

It was almost an hour later, before the two of you were down to your final shots. Standing in the middle of the living room, both of you holding a water pistol to the other, as you tried to keep a straight face.

“So this is it, any last words, Prompto?” You called.

“Only that you’re going down.” Prompto smirked.

You both waited, for the other to make the move. Only for Prompto to shoot first, you dodged, before rushing forward, holding your water pistol to his side.

“Nothing personal Prompto.” You cooed, before unloading your final shot into his already soaking wet shirt.

Prompto gave an over dramatic gasp, as he fell to his back, splayed across the floor, giving a pathetic cough, “Should I have any regrets, it’s only this…”

You leaned forward, awaiting, his dramatic desperate pleas, “And what would that be?”

“Nothing personal!” He turned your own words against you as he pulled a small water pistol from his side, squiting you in the chest.

You gave a gasp, before falling dramatically to the floor, laying half on top of him, “You were a worthy opponent.”

“As were you.”

You both dissolved into giggles, as you laid on the floor, the heat completely forgotten about. Yet now you faced a different problem.

“Hey Pom?”

“Yeah?”

“How are we going to clean this up?”

“No idea.”

~~~~~

Gladiolus

“Don’t touch me!”

Gladiolus groaned, all he wanted to do was cuddle with his beautiful Babe, but Babe was being a butt! “Come on,babe.”

“Ugh, just wait until it cools down.” You moaned, fanning yourself.

Both of you had just came back from your morning jog, the sun had barely rose and it was already beyond hot.

“A little heat never hurt anyone.”

“You passed out!” You barked, only to lay back on the hardwood floor to calm yourself, as the heat just sapped your energy, and it was taking forever for the central air to kick in, before you felt you would melt into the floor.

“For like 5 minutes.” Gladiolus argued back, moving to pull you into himself, only for you to roll away. “Babe!”

“Ugh, Gladdy baby, you know I want nothing more than to cuddle but, just give me like 5 minutes to cool the hell down.” You whined, only to watch him stand up and disappearing out of your view on the living room floor. More than likely to pout, the big baby.

After you revived Gladiolus and forced him back home, despite the man stating he could finish the lap, you both took an ice cold shower, waiting for the A/C to kick in. Neither of you bothering to put on clothes as it was too much effort at this point.

Closing your eyes, you had just begun to feel the coolness of the A/C starting to kick in. Than you could go get your pouting boyfriend, and cuddle away all of his pouts.

“Glad…HOLY SHIVA!” You shrieked, as an icy chill was tossed down your bare back. Hearing clicks, as you rolled over to stare at your boyfriend holding a large mixing bowl, before noticing the huge smirk. Looking around you, you saw a bunch of ice cubes littering the floor.

“Cool enough now, Babe?”

~~~~~

Ignis

You watched fascinated, even in all this heat, your handsome Ignis didn’t seem the less bit unruffled or displaced. The only difference was that instead of those beautiful form fitting dress shirts, he was now wearing a breathable t-shirt that hugged all the right curves on the man. Down those strong pecs, the short sleeves hugging those strong biceps, so tight against his back…

“My darling, it is almost finished, can you please retrieve the sundae glasses?”

You blinked, almost not hearing the request as you were checking out the man before you. Within his element of the kitchen  it just seemed to add to the allure that was Ignis. It wasn’t like he was even bothered by the heat, could Ignis even sweat?

Yet then again, Ignis always seemed to keep the house at the perfect temperature for you to walk around without the need of sock or houseshoes.

“Here you go, Iggy.” You called, setting the glasses down beside him. Unable to stop your arms from wrapping around the man’s waist, burying yourself into his side. Smiling as he pulled his arm from your hold, to wrap around your shoulders returning the embrace.

“Perhaps I should make you ice cream more often if you’re going to be this affectionate.” Ignis chuckled.

“It’s not the main reason.” You replied, watching him single handedly scoop the ice cream into the two dishes, being certain to give you the larger amount.

“Only the best for you, my love.” He replied, pressing a kiss to your temple, moving you both to the couch, still within each other’s embrace to enjoy your frozen treats.

[austinpanda]

Dad Letter 081719

11 August 2019

Dear Dad--

That sound you’re not hearing is me screaming internally, as our huge plan begins to lumber into action. Zach has turned in his notice at the IRS, so he’ll start his last week there tomorrow. I’ll stay at Progressive through the end of the month. Did I have a chance to tell you, I gave them last weekend to decide whether they wanted me back on the phones (without saying so) and they actually came up with another special project to keep me working for another month? As I say, the supervisors who decide this shit didn’t do anything to consciously keep me employed there, they just realized, “Hey, we still need Rick for a thing.” I spent a couple hours last Tuesday getting trained on the special shit (over the phone) by a coworker with ADD named Heather, and spent the rest of last week doing the special shit. 

I could tell you what the special new task is, but again, it’s insurance, so you’d probably fall asleep. Put succinctly, there are glass claims (i.e. for windshield damage) where arbitration has determined that we have to pay a bit more money to the glass shop. I’m issuing the payments to the glass shops and the auto glass inspection service. They have a backlog of 900 of them, it seems. What I’m really doing, however, is NOT TAKING PHONE CALLS, which means I don’t have to speak to customers, and kiss their asses, whether I’m in the mood for it or not. This will continue until the end of August. At that point, I’ll leave Progressive, Zach will already be done at the IRS, and we’ll spend September preparing to move, then we’ll move around October 1st. 

Then we’re going to live in Maine, which, I don’t mind telling you, is providing me with a nice hot bowl of ambivalence every day. I want to move, but I fear it. I want to make new friends, but I mourn the ones I’ll lose. I want that snow! But I also wonder if I won’t be pining for a heat wave once I’m there for a couple of Februaries. Here’s what I think will happen: we’ll get there, and we’ll have a place to move into, even if only temporarily. Within a few weeks, we’ll find permanent housing, and at least one of us will have a job. By Christmas, we’ll have a place to live, we’ll both be working, and we’ll be surrounded by deep snow and Yankees. I won’t have to take phone calls for Progressive, but I will have rust beginning to form on the underside of my car. I predict I will be, on average, 4% happier. If I’m wrong about that, maybe we’ll give Marquette, Michigan or Spokane, Washington a try. Perhaps we’ll purchase an RV and become itinerant English majors. 

So, a bunch of change is about to happen. The only regret I’m feeling right now is that I don’t still smoke cigarettes. After meals, and when you’re in the midst of humongous life change, you really miss ‘em. Lately I’ve had some pretty big cravings! Possibly because I thought I might have a cigarette on my final day at Progressive. That sounds like a bad idea on its face, I know. You don’t quit something you’re addicted to and then reward yourself with it a few months later. Still, I’m cigarette-free since 3/3 and still counting! I haven’t cheated even once, though I don’t make any promises about the future, and I still have dreams that feature smoking cigarettes most nights. 

I must say, this moving out of state is, at least partially, meant to help me avoid one of life’s more insidious pitfalls: complacency. No matter how potentially scary the moving will be, I consider it less scary than the thought of living in the same place, doing the same job until I’m 70, and then quitting, having a brief retirement, and dying of heart disease. This way, I can move to Maine, live there for a while, stay or move elsewhere, whatever I feel like, and I die of a heart attack while shoveling snow (or, you know, fornicating) at age 145. I love the idea of exploring the earliest parts of the USA a bit! I don’t remember anything about the revolutionary war from school, and it still blows my mind that there are cities in America that are older than the country is, like New York! Started by the Dutch in the early 1600s as New Amsterdam. I’ll bet lots of New England towns have long and interesting histories. 

Oh, I captured a few more pics of hummingbirds yesterday! I’ll include them with this email! I’m encountering a problem which I predict I’ll no longer encounter once I’m out of south Texas: I have to tend to my hummingbird feeders a lot more frequently when the weather is hot, because the sugar water goes bad faster. I once saw a chart that displayed how long your hummingbird food would last, based on how hot it got outside. The chart didn’t go over 100 degrees, but by then, the chart was already suggesting you change the hummingbird food every day. And if I wanted a hobby that I could indulge in every day, I’d have children, you know? I want a hobby I can indulge in whenever the hell I feel like it, maybe once per week or so. (This is why I prefer to own a cat.) So I’m changing the sugar water more frequently, and the hummingbirds all look hot and tired. But I got a couple of good photos. 

I haven’t much else to report. There’s lots of fun political news happening, and I’m deriving a lot of entertainment (and upset stomach) from that. I’m also learning that, if I’m especially nervous about something work-related, there’s a chance it’ll make me throw up in the morning. (That’s been an awesome feature to learn about!) I sometimes wish I weren’t so affected by stress; it’s such a pain in the ass to exist at its mercy. So! Life goals for the coming week: Begin the last three weeks of fun, phone-call-free work. Tell stress to go fuck itself. Perhaps do some walking. Look for places to live in Bangor and possible jobs. Prevent the hummingbirds dying of heat stroke. When we move to Maine, we want to get bicycles and use them to explore the town, so...shop for bicycles. Should be easy. Will keep you posted. 

More next week. Lots of love to you both!

[guitarboard42-blog]

Three Cheese Stuffed Balsamic Chicken

Easy one pan Three Cheese Stuffed Balsamic Chicken is oozing with melty, gooey cheeses and baked in a sweet and tangy balsamic glaze to die for!

This post is in partnership with Cache Valley Creamery – all opinions are 100 percent my own. 

And just like that it’s FALL! I hope your Labor Day was filled with great company, lots of rest, and of course – plenty of delicious eats. We snuck away for the holiday weekend with our little posse of littles (still can’t believe we’ve got THREE kids in tow now!) and my husband’s family to a house right on the edge of Bear Lake in Northern Utah.

I hadn’t been to Bear Lake in maybe ten or twelve years, so when we rounded the corner and the lake came into view I was in complete awe – I’d forgotten just how big and blue it is. We spent three days at the lake and I was not at all ready to come home at the end of the trip. Northern Utah is so beautiful, especially at this time of year.

Last week I was anxiously hanging on to summer, not ready to let the season slip away, but after taking in the changing colors of the leaves up by the lake and through the surrounding area, I came back 110 percent ready for all things autumn.

One of the great hidden gems of Northern Utah is Cache Valley, the inspiration behind Cache Valley Creamery – well known around here for making some of the tastiest cheeses and butter you could ever get your hands on. From slices, to string, to chunks and shreds, Cache Valley Creamery knows how to make delicious dairy products.

Committed to delivering wholesome goodness in every aspect of life, Cache Valley Creamery has teamed up with Real Salt Lake (RSL), Utah’s major league soccer team, for the second year in a row as an Official Sponsor for the 2018 season. From exciting family-friendly activities at Rio Tinto Stadium to halftime surprises and community-centric events, the partnership gives Utahns the opportunity to experience Cache Valley Creamery and RSL in a whole(some) new way.

AND, when you’ve worked up an appetite cheering on your favorite players, you can purchase melt-in-your-mouth grilled cheese made with Cache Valley Creamery Naturals Slices at the Royal Grilled Cheese Cart on the Rio Tinto Stadium concourse during regular season home games all season long.

I am thrilled to have partnered up with Cache Valley Creamery to bring you one of my favorite go-to family-friendly meals, Three Cheese Stuffed Balsamic Chicken. This dish has it all including bold flavors, minimal prep and cleanup (one pan for the win!), on the table in less than 40 minutes, and CHEESE. And not just one but three kinds of expertly crafted Cache Valley Creamery cheese have been stuffed into this rich and flavorful, savory herb-seasoned chicken.

Your entire family will not only fight over who gets to lick the pan clean (because that balsamic glaze is pure heaven), but will be begging you to make this simple, delicious meal over and over again. The good news? You won’t mind, because while this dish looks and tastes like restaurant-quality dining, it’s actually incredibly quick and easy making it the perfect recipe to fuel your family during the busy back-to-school season.

Easy one pan Three Cheese Stuffed Balsamic Chicken is oozing with melty, gooey cheeses and baked in a sweet and tangy balsamic glaze to die for!

Ingredients

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts

1 tablespoon oil

salt and pepper, to taste

1/2 teaspoon each dried oregano, thyme, and basil

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

4 slices Cache Valley Sliced Provolone Cheese

1/2 cup Cache Valley Shredded Mozzarella Cheese

1/2 cup Cache Valley Shredded Six Cheese Italian Cheese

2 tablespoons butter

2 tablespoons honey

1/2 cup balsamic vinegar

3 tablespoons brown sugar

Instructions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Use a sharp knife to cut a pocket horizontally in the thickest side of each chicken breast, being sure not to cut all the way through. 

Place one slice of provolone cheese in the pocket, topped with 1/4 of the mozzarella, and 1/4 of the six cheese Italian. Use toothpicks to close and secure the opening. 

Drizzle chicken breasts with olive oil. Season with salt and pepper, oregano, thyme, basil, and garlic powder and use your fingertips to rub seasonings into the chicken. 

In a large oven-safe skillet (see note) over medium-high heat, melt butter. Once almost melted, add the honey and stir until mixture bubbles. Add chicken and brown on each side for 2-4 minutes. Whisk together the balsamic vinegar and brown sugar, pour over chicken and cook 2 minutes longer. 

Transfer pan/skillet to oven and bake for about 15-20 minutes until chicken is cooked through and cheeses are melted. Spoon balsamic sauce from the pan over the chicken, top with fresh basil if desired, and serve. 

Recipe Notes

If you don't have an oven safe pan or skillet, you can do this in a normal pan and then transfer everything into a casserole/baking dish or pan for baking portion. 

Source: https://www.lecremedelacrumb.com/three-cheese-stuffed-balsamic-chicken/

[idkyeol]

Mercedes Jerkoff (Chanyeol)