#it's fine tho i just try not to think about it otherwise I'll wanna kill myself

[neonpigeons]

sorry about the weird posts I'm just so deeply and profoundly lonely and I'm afraid I'll never be loved in the way that I want/need

[pyramid-of-starrs]

It's not the same tho!

Pairing: Seungmin x gn reader

Genre: Fluff

Warning: Reader is a brat but Seungmin loves it

A/N: This fic is for @atiny-dime-p1ece everyone else close your eyes lol

"I know they are in here, where did he hide it?" You said to yourself. You were currently on your knees digging through your boyfriends closet. It was the hellish season between fall and winter where it was cold but not super cold but chilly and not super chilly? You wanted to warm yourself up a bit, but a blanket wasn't doing the trick, so the next best thing? Stealing one of your boyfriends many, many hoodies, but was it stealing though? You had a right to those hoodies! Seungmin however thought otherwise but he was just gonna have to get over it to be honest. Luckily, he was out at practice still and you were watching movies in his dorm waiting on your puppy to comeback and snuggle you. Honestly wearing his hoodies wasn't just about being warm though, it was about how good it made you feel, how fuzzy you got thinking about him, the smell of his cologne and the thickness of the hoodie feeling like a warm embrace. He did ask you specifically to stop taking his hoodies but again he was going to have to get over it!

While you were digging you suddenly felt a pinch on your butt that shocked you and you let out a yelp while turning around to sit on your butt to see who it was.

"Wanna tell me what you're doing going through my stuff Y/N?" your boyfriend said standing a healthy 5 feet and 10 inches.

"W-well I was just looking around for something I forgot…" You managed to stutter out.

"Something you forgot? And what exactly did you forget in my closet?" He said raising his eyebrow.

"Um… THIS ISN'T FAIR!" you yelled out while standing up to demand a hoodie like it was your birth right.

"You always come over and take all my hoodies! I told you I will buy you your own if you want them so bad." He said refusing to back down.

"It's not the same! I want yours!"

"I’ll buy the same one twice then, one for me, one for you." You rolled your eyes then shook your head.

"You just don't get it!" you walked over to his bed and put yourself in the corner to hug one of his pillows that he called your pillow and pout. "I'm mad at you!"

"You'll get over it." He said deciding that arguing with you was no use, you were his spoiled little brat and he had no one to blame but himself for making you that way.

"No, I won't! I'm going to be mad at you for the rest of my very cold days." You muffled as you stuffed your face in the pillow.

"Stop being dramatic." now he was the one rolling his eyes.

"I'm not being dramatic you're being mean!"

"Would a mean boyfriend offer to take you to get the new plushie that you've been wanting that released today?" He said smiling at you to try to pique your interest, you had to admit he was good at that. "And take you too boba after." Your eyes looked up from behind the pillow, you wanted to resist, no, needed to resist.

"I'll only take you if you stop being mad at me." He said opening his arms for you to give him a truce hug. You stayed quiet, it killed you, but you stayed quiet. He sighed knowing you were good at getting him to crack.

"Did I forget to mention that I stopped by our album distribution center and grabbed you my photocards for this comeback as well?" He said pulling out a brown mini photocard binder that had cute puppies on it and was filled with fresh photocards, oh it was like a sword to your heart to not say anything, but you couldn't give in now and risk looking weak.

He sighed once again then suddenly left the room for a moment, you were confused. Were you perhaps being a bit to bratty or mean? You didn't want Seungmin to think you were really mad at him, you were just being playfully spoiled but then he reentered the room with a gray hoodie in hand, he tossed it too you as it landed on your head.

"Fine, here you big baby." He said, he just truly could not tell you no.

"Yay! Thank you Minnie!" You slipped on the hoodie then got off the bed to jump on him to give him a big hug.

"Yeah, yeah you're welcome." He said squeezing your waist and pecking your lips. "Come on so we can get your plushie and boba."

Again, you were his little brat and he loved you that way.

[kenobihater]

so, uh... netflix avatar certainly is a show, huh? i just finished episode 1 and i'm gonna ramble on about it below. blacklist "#len watches natla" or "natla spoilers" if you either don't wanna see this shit or you don't want spoilers.

fair warning that i was relatively neutral going into the show, but episode 1 was... hmm. i'm still struggling to formulate words on it. i didn't love it, but it wasn't shyamalan levels of bad by any means. i'm gonna hop right into episode 2 after this post bc i've heard the pilot and the finale are the weakest episodes and i genuinely wanna give it a fair chance before i cast judgment.

so, they open with the air nomad genocide. i knew this going in, but it certainly sets a Tone, a Tone that does NOT feel like avatar. like, i understand they wanted to elevate the level of maturity a bit and make things more serious, but was it rlly necessary to see a shit ton of air nomads get fireballed to death, culminating in gyatso getting burned alive trying to protect a room of children, who also presumably get incinerated?? they didn't show that part, instead doing a hard cut to katara waterbending a century later (resulting in EXTREME whiplash for me), but them violently dying is the only way that ends.

also, minor quibble: the firebending looked normal to me, but the general who killed gyatso said smthn like "you might have beaten me any other day, but today we have the power of the comet!" but their bending doesn't look very different from zuko's bending later? it's a little more flamey ig, but in s3 when ozai gets juiced up the motherfucker is out here destroying whole forests from his airship.

onto the acting. gordon cormier's portrayal felt a little too rehearsed and theatrical rather than natural, but he's a kid and acting is hard so i'm def gonna cut him some slack, and he does seem pretty happy and earnest, even if his delivery is a bit forced. kiawentiio tarbell is pretty good, but her dialogue left a bit to be desired, which isn't on her and i'll complain about later. ian ousley gave the best performance imo, tho ymmv bc ik there's some controversy around his heritage that i don't feel i have the right to get into due to tribal registration being a complex topic, blood quantum being awful, and me being white. gran gran was barely there and just exposited everywhere in a weird callback to the og intro, so i don't really feel like she's that important even tho i liked her casting. uncle iroh... i'm not sure. he wasn't too prevalent, which is understandable this early on. i liked paul sun-hyung lee's warmth, but don't have much to say otherwise yet. and then there's dallas james liu. i think his acting was pretty solid, at least on the level of dev patel's performance (which i swear is a compliment bc he was the only good part of shyamalan's dumpster fire of a film imo). i think the issue i have with the performance is down to the writing, which i guess i'll get into now bc it's my biggest issue with episode 1.

the dialogue flow was mid, and there was a bit of info dumping from gyatso in his scene with aang which i found distracting. speaking of info dumping, gran gran was just kinda there to explain the last hundred yrs to aang and then have zero interactions with her grandchildren before they flew off, which was dumb.

still on the topic of writing: i mentioned the tone set by the opener, and i think that's bad, but it also fucked up the pacing by not starting at the same point the og did. by the end of the episode they shoehorned in the trip to the southern air temple with like 11 mins left (i checked) and so that made aang's grief triggering the avatar state feel rushed. i also thought the flashback to gyatso's earlier dialogue when aang saw his corpse was unnecessary. like bitch, i watched that 30 mins ago, i remember it fine! by the end, aang seemed waaaay more driven than he did in s1 of the original, almost as self-confident as he was in s3. like, he accepted being the avatar real quick. i'm pretty sure he'll display a bit more uncertainty later in the season (at least, i hope he does), but that still felt off to me.

my biggest complaint about the writing is zuko. i KNOW he's a brat, i am well aware of that as a lifelong zuko girlie, but was him trying to kill sokka necessary??? he was literally about to throw a fireball at him when he was lying defeated in the snow before aang stepped in. he also commanded his soldiers to burn the village to the ground at one point. i understand he's a villain and that they're attempting to corner the Prestige TV market here, so they've decided to make him grittier. i don't like it, though. in the cartoon, zuko is driven in his awful quest, but he's also honorable - in the village he nods his head in agreement when aang asks if he'll leave the village alone if aang goes with him. that little moment showed his honor, his true honor, peeking through. also in the cartoon, he's really bad at finding the avatar despite being very skilled in combat. i don't know how they're gonna have him show up very much in this season if he's gonna be more of a ruthless asshole tbh.

overall, i'm left just kinda confused with the tone and character writing of the show. i'm going to watch the whole season because it's only 8 episodes and i genuinely hope it improves somewhat, but i'd give it either a 6 or a 6.5/10, i can't quite decide.

[nerves-nebula]

was wonderinv who to ask then saw ur poston art school and went . yo!

anyway can i ask hows art school? like . is it worth it?? whats the experience and everything like + do u regret ur decision to go there? (dont feel forced to answer any of these) (for context + incase it wasn’t obvious ive been wanting and thinking of going to one if ever given the chance)

Oh man, where to start. Well first of all some of the main reasons to go to art school are the resources and the connections.

If you wanna get into furniture for example, that’s a lot easier if you have access to a whole workshop with tons of different saws. I’ve learned to use three different book binders as well as done hand binding myself, which is great fun for me but idk how I’ll make money out of that.

The thing is that depending on your major/department, a lot of the stuff you do in art school you could theoretically do on your own as well. So if you think you have enough willpower to make your own schedule and find your own resources then I’d say do that, and work on building your portfolio so you can show it off if you ever get the chance. especially if you don’t really have the money for college (I’m incredibly lucky to have someone help me cuz otherwise I’d be screwed)

If I’m honest, I didn’t really want to go to college at the time of me applying. I was kind of interested in learning how to wrap cars, and I wanted to take a course in that, if you can believe it. but all of my parents kids have to go to college no matter what (as in my mom forced me to apply to college and then sent me off like “I can’t help you pay for college btw good luck!”) so it was inevitable that I was going to go to an art school. which is fine because i've also always kind of wanted to go to a school, i was just stressed about not being able to afford it haha.

THEN there's what kind of art school you're going to. I'm at one of the most prestigious fine arts schools in the USA, because though I got admitted to others, I couldn't afford to go to others. the one I'm at offered the most money, because they could afford to. Idk what I'm gonna do with this degree but im in graphic design rn so I'll probably do something in that field. and it helps that the name of my school is renowned.

but if you, say, want to get into animation you're probably going to NEED to go to an art school. even if you cant get into an animation school specifically, any art school at all is better than none when it comes to animation (I think, idk for sure i'm not interested in animation as a job. my friend is tho so maybe I'll ask him)

now, HOW is art school? WELL. I've heard this isn't uncommon, but the first year was literally actual torture. it was really really bad. it made me more suicidal than I'd been since I was 12 and it ALSO made me start cutting for the first time ever. but I survived it, and the second year was way better! (if still stressful) the first year is for where they try to kill you, and the second year is where they go "haha just kidding ok lets get into what you want to know" at least that's how it is at where I am.

DESPITE the pain, and despite how even now I'm anxious about going back, I don't regret it at all. I really like my classmates and I love my professors. I love a lot of the work I've done and the skills I've learned. I liked living on campus and being so close to all that Art Stuff, even if i was too tired all the time to ever go out to any of the events.

plus on a more personal level, anywhere is better than living with my parents. so even if it was hellish the first year, i'm at least happy that i got things done and i wasn't wasting away at home with my mom.

hope that answers all your questions :)

[vaugarde]

Sending another warrior bc of warriors brainrot but how about breezepelt?

sorry this is so late xmx i had this open in a tab and forgot about it

sexuality headcanon: hmmm idk tbh. i'll go with bi ace but he doesnt know it yet

gender/pronouns headcanon: nonbinary but also doesnt know it so goes by he/him for now but will eventually be comfortable w he/she/they

rate them out of ten: it has been a hot minute. i'm gonna go with like a 6 or 7 because the discourse about him is exhausting but also fans are not normal abt him so i kinda feel inclined to like him out of spite.

favorite thing about them: can't tell if this should technically be a bad thing because the erins absolutely wrote him the way they did to be like "oh look how much WORSE crowfeathers life is. dont you wish he was present in the three's lives and still with leafpool?? they arent as annoying as him!" but i do like that he's an unconventional abuse victim. like in fiction, authors like to portray abuse victims as only quiet and meek. which like, those people exist in real life so that's not an issue, per say, but people are VERY quick to suddenly say that a child deserves to be abused if that kid lashes out instead. so, personally i like breezepelt for defying that, but at the same time it wasn't meant to be subversive so like, fuck you erin hunter im stealing him

least favorite thing about them: uhhh kinda the above, its like a double edged sword.

why i first started liking/disliking them: it was half the scene where they say that no one in windclan likes him because. uh oh thats me. and half spite

do i relate/project onto/kin them?: sort of. i kind of understand the sheer rage he feels because of how he's treated in windclan even if its not seen as a "big deal", tho not to a murderous degree obviously. i also understand being seen as the obnoxious kid that no one likes and everyone thinks hes a baby that complains, and people saying that they're glad that he's gone because they think he's exhausting. like. uh oh family and school memories flooding back. dont relate to the dad issues tho

favorite quote/moment: not much comes to mind, hes just kind of a sad character so it feels weird to pick one. ig the scene where brokenstar manipulates him bc its a good representation of how fucked up he's become

my fav ship: idk tbh. ive seen breezeblossom get thrown around but i dont really like blossomfall that much tbh. which one of his ships gets the most vitriol (without age gaps or incest)? bc i wanna do that one to be funny

my fav platonic friendship idk how i feel abt breezeheather but i do at least like em as friends. im fine either way w them tho

a ship i hate: not much comes to mind

do i prefer canon or fanon?: well fanon is kinda weird so ig canon idk. i like the version of him in my head ig?

random headcanon:

what color do i picture them as: orange is what i associate, otherwise he's pitch black

cat breed headcanon: oriental cat

unpopular opinion: honestly i don't know why people take him trying to kill poppyfrost as like an end all thing to saying hes a bad character and not someone you should "side with" over crowfeather. like, i do know why but like this is the murder cat book. most of them kill. the book acts like its both scary and epic. like why are you mocking shadowclan and calling them stupid for mourning russetfur's death at lionblaze's hand after thunderclan invaded them and also clutching your pearls over this? when is it ok to kill in this society? and its also an outlandish action not grounded in reality, while crow's neglect hits closer to home. also breeze is a villain at that point lol hes supposed to do fucked up shit while crow's neglect is painted as misunderstood and uwu sad for him at the end of the day. so yeah i do think its fucked that he did that, but at the same time yeah im not gonna "side with crowfeather" and say he deserved the neglect over it. wtf

[gaym3bo1]

𝐓𝐀𝐆 (𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄) 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑

@hedgewyse @hedgewyse ... i think tumblr fucked up w the tagging again ... thank you! i finally got around to do this bc i’m on my laptop.. i loved ur color answer bruh pop off!!

Favourite colour: Purple! Lavender to be specific and becuase i'm completely predictable my favourite scent is Lavender too and if you'd ask me about my favourite flower

it would be a tie between lavender and sunflowers. also i used to have blue as my fave and i used  to hate hate hate pink so i think accepting pink as a color

and growing out of my blue phase naturally leads to purple, it all makes sense

Currently reading: Nothing really though i need to finally finish Mister Impossible before Greywaren comes out.also i am actually reading a WIP fic on ao3 for once

it's Somewhere Only We Know by CynicalSinister; i liked the concept idea so i guess i'll keep up to date with that one

Next in my tbr tab group in chrome are WaiKorn fics and two unfinished Kinnporsche social media AUs

Last song: Currently playing on Spotify is Numb Little Bug by Em Beihold (I'm listening to the new 'Friends-Mix' i love seeing the different

songs all my Spotify friends have in common it's great)

My top song last week was Why Don't You Stay world tour ver. bc they finally put it on spotify and i discovered a song today!! i think it's gonna be my new obsession i love the vocals

it's Run Away To Mars by TALK

Last series: To My Star S1; i'm showing it to my friend and it's so much fun rewatching it after having watched S2!!

((gonna go watch the new Vice Versa ep with a diff friend now hehe)))

Last movie: Went to a cinema Sneak Preview with a few friends and they showed a movie called "(the?) Chase". it was bad. like really really bad. There's worse movies out there but...

it's just a dude trying to find his kidnapped wife and going on a rampage, killing two drug dealers, kidnapping another drug dealer, not even getting shot or stabbed or otherwise hurt once

and then getting applauded by the police for finding his wife on his own instead of sharing his intel.

he didn't even get a fine for killing multiple people lol nothing '

also the wife was about to divorce him but now she's traumatised and he's her hero so i guess they live happily ever after :)

Currently working on: NOTHING it's horrible i want to use tomorrow to start new video edits tho... i've got 0 motivation tho idk i'm completely drained i just wanna watch tiktoks all day

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

There was this little boy. He was so so so bad.

Oh he was bad in the boys bunker.

Saint Luches complained to me he wanted to ring his little neck but he was too cute. But he was just smashing shit up all the time, making a mess and being disrespectful.

I went down i saw what he did and i said "oh he ain't too bad, put him in the girl's bunker"

"Are you kidding me? They'll all be dead by morning! Lets take him home with me. Ill whip him into shape"

"Oh i get to be a girl" oh he was a smart ass!! Oh he was gonna need a good fixing before he got too old.

"Oh I see why you wanna take him home. Hes kinda funny. It's been bored around the house kind of late"

"I know. Sex and food. Sex and food. I need something more substantial"

"Oh it's been great. I've loved it i must admit. But i love you and I might just love you, too, huh little girl?"

"Sex and food" he was tossing his head and mocking while i talked. I thought maybe he wasn't listening then he jumped and turned to face us "IM A BOY!" scared me He looked like he could kill me

"Oh i didn't know. Lets go. Keep on walking. Were almost there. Not too long now"

"Ima girl. Ima swish my hair" he tossed his shoulders and smoothed his hair down. But he twisted up his face all angry and did it. Which made it hilarious.

I tried to stifle a giggle.

He jumped in front of us again. We were both smiling this time, not worried about the future or the child between us.

"Alright let's go" he got between us and grabbed our arms and pulled us along fast. Boy walked fast for as tiny as he was.

Saint Luches looked at me wide eyes like OMG "these mood swings on this one What a wild one!!"

"Come on let's go" he chomped out at his throat

"Ohhhhh he's a cartoon"

"GI JOE, yep i hear it. Unfortunately he's the bad guy"

I Bent over at my waist "is that GI JOE, little one?"

"Come on let's go" he used the same gruff voice "what's this thing called?"

"An elevator"

"How did you know what he was asking about, babe?"

"He was looking up at the numbers"

"14th floor" said our little unknown soldier.

"Oh he's good. He knows what an elevator is used for. I wonder what his name is"

"My name's not Joe but you can call me Joe" he barged into our apartment with us.

"Oh this is gonna be fun!!" I wheeed myself in "you can put your coat here by the door"

"He leaves it on" saint Luches turned to tell me "wait wha???" He stopped and looked in wonder and amazement as the kid took off his coat

"Here you can put it on the hook up there. Im too short." Said the gruff boy "I always put it on when you get there because you take us outside you dummy dipshit"

"Woaaaah!! I love this kid already!! Hes so smart and kind! Totally gracious, too"

Saint Luches rubbed his face in agony like what the Hell did I do to my perfect life?!?!

"Dont worry, you're beautiful" I touched his arm as I passed from the foyer into the living room where he awaited for us, me and little dude.

"Are you two gonna have sex? My mom use to and ow my arm!"

I got on my knees next to him "Oh no. Here let me see it." I rubbed his long skinny arm "where does it hurt?"

"It doesn't i just wanted to see what you would do" still the gruff voice

"This isn't the first kid you brought home but this is the first lying one" I went to see saint Luches in the doorway.

"He barely did!!" Saint Luches complained "don't jump on the couch!! He's already called me a dipshit, too. And I'm gonna get him!!"

"Don't..." I put my hand on my forehead and turned, my hand sliding down my face as I did.

"Hey now I gotcha!!" He grabbed that kid off the couch and boy he started beating him about the head and shoulders. I can tell when Saint Luches is trying to be patient. And when he's really holding a temper. And when he's confused.

"Hey now, let's see. Come here" that little kid made sound effects as he latched onto my arm with his teeth. "He hasn't mentioned a dad. Just a mom. But apparently he doesn't like her either" i let little Joe tear At my arm and shake it in his mouth like a dinosaur. Pulling back hurts the kid with that tight a teeth grip and growing teeth shouldn't be damaged and in addition ripping my arm back increases the risk of ripping apart my arm in huge ways. Otherwise its bite marks and chew marks which heal much faster.

'What the hell!?!?!?!?" Saint Luches put the kid down "see? I told you! All dead by morning!!"

"He just needs some toys. Lets see what we have in the toy box by the window here"

"My mom's on drugs. I get toys"

"He can have them. Just leave you alone! God. What the Hell did i do here?!"

"The other boys will be here soon. You can ask them"

"My mom is on drugs. Yeah yeah yeah."

"Boys?"

"Just the Alan. I forgot the others.. Should be or are dead"

"My mom's on drugs. Yeah yeah yeah"

"What the Hell is he saying to you?"

"I know i heard you sweetie! My dad is a drug addict, too!"

"My mom, she says she's not an addict. Just on drugs, there's a difference. And we're not black. Just not white"

"That's okay. You can be any color you want to be"

"Nuh uh. I only stay one. I checked!!"

"Yeah don't you feel dumb?" Saint Luches asked.

"Why because idk how to change colors?" He crawled across the floor, "oh teach me wise one"

Saint Luches lost his funny bone with this one. I thought it was hilarious.

"Admit it! You want to laugh! Oh wise one bringing this lad to me!"

"He isn't wise! It was a joke!"

"At least the voice?! It makes it fun!"

"He's the evil guy on the cartoon show!"

"Well ask Alan. Because i don't think so, he's too smart. Plus he knew you were mad for him jumping on the couch"

"Oh jump on the couch" there he went.

"You deal with this one. You already been bit"

"Give me your hand. Now what do you want to do? Sit or get down? You could fall and get hurt"

"Fall? This is just like mine at home.. I thought"

"Its white!!" Saint Luches Makes so much sense to kids that are taught to jump on sofas then kidnapped.

"When this one is a little different sweetie. We prefer you didn't jump on it. So lets talk what's this guy's voice, the way you talk. Sound like, what does the cartoon character that most resembles your voice look like"

"Oh he's tall and nonchalant. He is for real. Let's watch see if it's on"

That little boy grew up into a man. He is on TV. He still pretends to be GI JOE, but in big kids style.

On SWAT. Criminal Minds.

He would be bad. And he would test patience and he used to be beat at home. He knew what a real ass whooping was.

I'd count if he didn't wanna get up and put away the toys. 1. 2.

"Can I watch tv still?"

"Pick up the toys it's still on"

3. 4.

"What number is it?"

"Oh i forgot. Now you be good so i don't have to count and I'll make some food/breakfast and we will eat on the floor in front of the white couch"

I made him pick up toys we left in the floor the night before. Then he Just took them right back out.

Saint Luches complained about them in the floor "hon, will you have him pick them up?"

"Sure babe" and he still complained.

I took him to work with me and we would watch cartoons till the last minute.

So Saint Luches got so mad. He said "im gonna go in late to work to see what you do to this kid. He's well behaved but there's toys all over the place"

He played with a doll. A block and 2 carton of cigarette boxes. That was it.

So he got us to time the cartoon and when 5 minutes was left he got the kid to put them under the TV

"Oh that was easy!! I thought you wanted him to do it as exercise. To practice! For when he went home or something and got old! Now you can quit bitching!"

Saint Luches was right, tho. He would killed those women. I had just finished telling him about a new lamp and how it was heavy. And he picked it up over his head. I didn't mention not to touch it. But i was in the floor when he decided to. Scared me to death.

Alan worked nights. So i started screaming for him cause i had just taken him breakfast in bed and he thought i was being dramatic

But really he just wanted to see how heavy the lamp really was.

I had been having bad dreams. We had just kicked Matt Hagan out for wanting to human traffic. And i kept dreaming he was going to go back for revenge. We had the new lamp and I had dreamed he attacked us with it. But kept plugging it in all over the house.

And I just saw his rage face when the kid had it.

It took saint Luches like 10 days to settle himself. Kids were not really his thing... Not kids he didn't understand.

Usually we sent most kids to the woman's side because all the girls fussed over the babies and young ones. So they were always mothered and taken care of.

I didn't have too much trouble with him. Usually he got his cars stuck in my hair if I forgot to pull it up. But he would drive them on my arms and shoulders.

I did take him to the doctor because he always gruffed the GI JOE voice. But the doctor said he didn't have damage and in time he would talk.

I had figured he felt either uncomfortable or comfortable and So he used a different voice than at home just because his life was different.

The doctor agreed it may be psychological. I Just wanted to ensure he didn't have a problem internally. So Saint Luches took him for the xrays the next day.

"He was fine. But he kept playing with those two empty cigarette cartons." Saint Luches told me

I told him they weren't cigarette boxes, they were cannons. Mac trucks, moving vehicles. They were every thing but empty cigarette cartons.

So Saint Luches bought him every thing under the sun. But still he wanted those empty cigarette cartons.

"Why?! Why?!? Why!?! Why do you do this to me?!?!" Saint Luches grabbed him by the shirt after crawling to him on his knees

"Because you tell me not to throw. I throw this you say good job. Paper airplane good job. Ball? Boy don't throw! I like all my toys to be throw. And lightweight" he said in a deep almost normal voice.

"See he's smart! And he listens to you!" I pleaded with him to find a happy medium.

So Saint Luches went into the toy box and pulled out all the toys the child could throw and put them seperate in a laundry hamper. "Throw. Throw. Throw. You can throw all these"

"But you told me this 'no throw' and this and this and this and this and this"

The child nearly emptied the hamper.

"Now what's he doing?"

"He is not negotiating with you. Hes telling you what you've told him before. I've seen him out the corner of my eye when we watch TV. Hes been testing you. Checking to see if you notice and what you say. I watch his face. Thats why we bought the lamp so I could see."

"So, what you're saying is I've told him no to throwing all these toys before?"

"Yup. No honey" i got down on the floor with them, unfortunately there was tears in the child's eyes 4 tears "HE is telling you. This is what you see he has said to you and i have repeated it. Okay babe?"

"So, now what do i do?"

"Reinforce"

I took each object and showed it to them both and said "throw?" Until the child nodded. And i put it in the basket. When it was full. I picked up all the items and threw them behind me. I didn't look. Just tossed them.

Then I asked Saint Luches to help me clean up.

Then they both sat in the floor with the basket between them. "Well! Don't just sit there! Throw"

And the kid tossed some balls. Into the floor a foot from him.

"No, Saint Luches. I want you to throw with him" i got a toy from the basket "baby look. Throw?"

"I just said that yeah!"

"Ok baby look let me see your hand" i put the ball in his hand and made his wrist move to throw the ball out onto the floor. "Come on you can do better than that!"

Took him 2 days to learn to play with the 6 year old (we guessed) child.

Eventually we got another basket and they practiced throwing across the room from basket to basket.

We had him for 2 and a half weeks before I took him to Michael Jackson and said "he needs to be in TV. He memorizes everything and he is so good at it. Even does voices and sound effects"

Michael looked at me quizzically "you never do this. Singing yeah but acting no."

"But he has a gift. A deep gift. Try him. Give him a script"

He did. He blew Michael's mind.

"Get me his parents! I gotta sign this kid up!"

"She's on drugs that's all i know"

"This..this kid is a drug baby?!? No way! No way! You're right! And he's black! Two boot! Yeah that's my man!"

"Where did you get him from?"

"He was driving Saint Luches crazy in the bunker so we took him home"

"You aren't supposed to just take kids home you know"

"The CIA knew"

"I was just giving you a hard time. I'm lucky you did! Were all gonna be rich off this gem!"

"He really is sweet too!"

Here i am in mom jeans with my little girl with the swishy hair.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: How's the damage looking in the cold light of day, babe? Ali: Want me to put a hex on her? Carly: yea Carly: didnt remember her going hard but feel it now Ali: 😤 Why'd she have to turn up just to pull up Ali: Got actual issues that one, like Ali: I'll work on something particularly wicked whilst we waiting for karma to smack her one Ali: is you okay boo? Carly: dont need to eye her bf i kno hes not special Carly: fucked some of his mates but not him Carly: you kno made the hanging feel more drastic Ali: Right? Even she don't reckon him that Ali: Just herself, like 🙄 Ali: I'll make you a remedy whilst I'm at it, like Carly: youre too cute to handle this early Ali: Well, lost major points not defending your honour from the ginja ninja last night so Ali: gotta claw it back, ain't I Carly: cant fuck you if youre in prison Ali: Truuuu, ain't my prison wife, this the real deal Ali: did you spot any talent tho? before she tried to claw ur eyes out Carly: nah Carly: you? Ali: caleb cavante was there Ali: he's so fine Ali: but so was his gf so meh, appreciated the view but no more than that Ali: too busy dancing w my main lady of course 😍 Carly: who was he w other than his bf Carly: in love as hard as we Ali: Ain't that the truth 😂 Ali: only got eyes for each other boys, don't front Ali: cute Carly: hes got eyes for me too Carly: 4some? Ali: Yeah? Nice Ali: Not even jealous, get you some wifey Ali: bit of a knob but not as bad as some Ali: I think they're like brothers tho babe??? awks 😂 Ali: otherwise, hell yeah Carly: my bad Carly: spoke to your gf today? Ali: Not yet Ali: She's sulking still Carly: if she wants to take a swing she knows where i am Ali: 😬 your beautiful face, noooooo Ali: she only mad at me anyway, catch us in prison, can't escape each other then, like 😏 Carly joined the chat 2 hours ago Carly: only working to get you to kiss it better tho Carly: could be her way of dumping you w out doing it Carly: sorry Ali: ha, good luck, honey Ali: don't she know I stick like glue? Ali: I'll roll up with all the arrogance of a bitch who's man ain't shit, like Carly: ill let her kno how loyal you are Carly: too bad its only to me like Ali: 🙊 Ali: don't, confirming her argument lowkey Carly: sorry Carly: anything i can do for real Ali: nah 💋 Ali: its sweet, i just gotta stop hiding and tell her how it is Ali: but i'm hiding 'til my head feels better, facts babe Carly: ill whisper Carly: fun tho Carly: w the assault & everything Ali: yeah, what's a decent party without a scrap Ali: tho if my boo gotta be involved imma haffta teach you a few moves, yeah? Carly: im not trying to kiss her while she kills me bitch Carly: whats a sweet girl like you gonna tell me Ali: i know, i'm a lover not a fighter by nature but i'm tough as fuck Ali: trust 🥊 Ali: show you when ur feeling better tho Carly: yea? Carly: aw you gonna protect me Carly: my da will be thrilled Ali: 'Course Ali: let him know just 'cos there's no bloke, can still fuck up the competition and co Carly: we could be renewing our vows at the kitchen table and he wouldnt know it was going on Carly: hes that bloke behind a fucking big newspaper who nods Carly: my ma's the mouth Ali: You're dead good with words Ali: fully got the picture there, like a film or some shit Carly: my life inspoing hollywood, bitch Carly: facts Ali: fr tho Ali: leading lady material defs Carly: you just want that roll credits kiss Carly: come get it any time Ali: only if there's an audience, yeah Carly: aw Carly: you want me all to yourself babe Ali: 🖕 Ali: lose any queer cred I've got if I fuck a straight girl purely for male gaze Ali: hmu when ur feeling it babe 😉 Carly: im always feeling you Carly: honeymoon period not over Ali: 😳😌 Ali: when ur living the bit so hard you can't tell where it ends no more Carly: you want me you got me Carly: thats how it go when you put a ring on it Ali: okay Ali: imma rock ur world then Carly: yea? Carly: good confidence babe Ali: deserved 💪 Carly: ill let you kno if i agree after you hit it Ali: go for it Ali: love ur brutal honesty and I've not got a fuckboy fragile ego like u used to Carly: yea true Carly: whats that like Carly: weird Ali: highly recommend Ali: love knowing what i'm worth 💎 Carly: gotta recommend being treated as a skank Ali: like all the time or in the bedroom 🤔 Carly: interchangeable when you're dtf constant Ali: Oh, babe Ali: you're a princess too tho, you can be both Carly: never been this complimented Ali: You gotta be knowing Ali: all about the balance Carly: aw Carly: what you doing today Ali: Gotta take my lil bro to the park or some shit Ali: he's already driving the 'rents mental Ali: come with? might get u both a 🍦 if you behave Carly: you want me round your littlest bro serious ? Ali: you won't sound so shocked when you meet him Ali: little 💩 Ali: but a laugh, you'll like him Carly: i been in a bitch fight & look it Carly: thinking of him Ali: Fair, if you wanna hide behind your biggest sunnies today and chill, I don't blame ya Ali: he'll think its cool tho, swap war stories with him Carly: im down to come Carly: just making sure you want it Ali: You wanna hear me say your my fave again? Ali: cute 💋 Carly: you kno Ali: swing by when i can convince him to put some clothes on Ali: feeling like a hypocrite lowkey Carly: k Carly: catch me outside trying to clear my head Carly: low key your fault for that image Ali: 😏 i'll take it even though i know its all about last night Ali: get ready to swoon tho 'cos its way too hot for normal clothes, but I do insist on at least partially covering our junk, lil rock Carly: 😍 Ali: you'll be proud, whored it up on my story and everything Carly: I saw and I was Ali: Mission accomplished then yo Carly: your hair is cute Carly: cute isnt the word for that yoga outfit tho Ali: 😘 aww, thanks babe! i was feeling it Ali: you gon' take me up on my yoga offer now? 😉 Ali: show u how flexible i am Carly: might do Carly: not just chat Carly: impressive wouldnt it be Ali: 👏 Ali: never doubted you, babe Carly: catch me in a baby class until i catch up Ali: nah, ask anyone, I'm a great teacher gurl! Ali: and you can be my pet 😻 Carly: aw Carly: you're getting so creative w these dates too Ali: gotta keep it fresh Carly: 💋

[punkscowardschampions]

Drew & Carly

Drew: Carly Drew: I need to come over now Drew: On train Carly: k Carly: how long? Drew: idk does it fucking matter Drew: 40 mins ish Carly: i gotta clear out so yea Drew: alright Drew: do it then Carly: i am Carly: whats wrong with you? Drew: got some bad news Drew: need to get fucked up you may as well be there Carly: k Carly: ill make you feel better Drew: ha Carly: trust me boy Drew: no Drew: trust no bitch Carly: everyones out Carly: see im good to trust Carly: keeping my word Drew: tah Drew: don't invite anyone else round Drew: i don't want to fuck Carly: i wont Carly: this about her? Drew: You're jealous of Ro? Lmao, you have NO idea Carly: im not Carly: im asking for you Carly: you dont wanna fuck what else we gonna do cept talk Drew: i said Drew: get wrecked Drew: don't act like that's not what you want too Carly: k Carly: forget i said it Drew: least of my worries Drew: forget about it too Drew: doesn't mean anything Carly: yea Carly: getting that from you Drew: don't be weird Drew: don't need it today Carly: youre gonna get what you need soon Drew: i might need to hide for a bit Drew: cool? Carly: yea Carly: whenever you know Drew: good Drew: can't go back to my flat for a bit Drew: might need to move on Drew: not sure yet Carly: k Carly: for good? Drew: Yeah Drew: bridges burned, nothing here for me now Carly: they gonna come here? Carly: what you want me to say if theyre looking? Drew: Nah, nah Drew: not that Drew: Christ, I'd already be dead, that's where I've been past few days Drew: you're fine, you don't have anything to worry about Carly: Good Carly: can I come there? Carly: ill miss you Drew: I'll come back Drew: My sister will still be here Drew: we can hook up Drew: better get a new dealer for day to day tho Carly: yea Carly: fuck Drew: soz Drew: might not come to that Drew: idk what's going on Carly: what can i do? Drew: Idk, you know a good contract killer? Carly: all my contacts talk and talk Carly: whos fucking with you? Drew: no one Drew: but that's about to change Drew: you want a list? Carly: no Carly: i want you to feel better Drew: why do you care Carly: you make me feel good Carly: who does that for you? Drew: no one Carly: let me Drew: leave off Drew: i'm not in the mood Carly: anything you want Carly: when you are Drew: you're all the same, even the ones of you that front otherwise, makes me laugh Drew: tell you to have some self-respect but doesn't make a difference in the end Carly: im not hurting over this Carly: laugh it up Drew: oh, i am Drew: you're all jokes Carly: if youre trying to fight with me ill go there Carly: idc Drew: go on then 😂 Drew: what could you possibly say to make my day any worse Drew: I'd LOVE to know Carly: why do you want me to? Carly: none of your beef is with me Carly: hit up whoever else Drew: 'cos the last thing i want is that lovey dovey bullshit from you rn Drew: you said I could come to hide Drew: if you've changed your mind say Drew: don't waste my time Carly: its not Carly: you're good to me im trying to do the same Carly: if thats a waste of time its of mine Drew: no, i'm not, Carly Drew: that isn't what this is, or has ever been Drew: we use each other for personal gain, that's it Carly: yea you give me what i need Carly: let me do it for you Carly: stay here Drew: alright Drew: but that's all I need Drew: just the caravan Carly: k Drew: i only need a few days, alright, get my head fucked, then straight again Drew: i'll be out your hair asap Drew: and i'll stay on the sofa, just ignore me best you can Drew: you can keep people away for that long, yeah? Carly: yea Carly: ill put the word out now Carly: itll be sorted when you get here Drew: cheers Drew: i'm sorry okay Drew: know its not ideal Drew: got nowhere else Carly: youre welcome here whenever Drew: i don't get you Drew: none of you Carly: you know whats up Carly: personal gain Carly: i need some bad Carly: the good shit Drew: why not pay for it Drew: you have enough money Drew: what you saving for? new shoes? Carly: i got the sack Carly: whats it matter Drew: 'course Drew: nothing, nothing Drew: i wouldn't want to be anyone's bitch, that's all Carly: k Drew: 'bout 10 mins away Drew: im gonna take some in toilet Drew: can't wait Carly: dont be too greedy Drew: you'll get yours Drew: i'll do what i like Drew: my fucking drugs Carly: dont cry Drew: don't take the fucking piss Drew: you ain't paying Carly: i know Drew: had enough dealing with fucking junkies Carly: dont call me that Drew: what, grown a backbone? Drew: its what you are, darling Carly: if you wanna stay then don't Drew: might take my chances tbh Drew: doing my head in Drew: women Drew: know your bff had her baby? Carly: no Carly: she isnt my bff Drew: now, now, you're not exactly surrounded by offers Drew: though you will be taking back the flowers when you find out Carly: why would I care? Carly: nothing to do with me Drew: is with me Drew: still apathetic? Carly: fuck who you like Carly: youve wanted her for years Drew: well i got her now Drew: 25 to life Carly: thats why youre hiding Carly: she doesnt wanna play happy families Drew: yeah Drew: doubt caleb does either Drew: or her brothers and dad Drew: like i said, list is long Carly: she'll change her mind when she can't do it alone Carly: open arms for you Drew: no she won't Drew: she's not like you Carly: im not like her Carly: never having kids Drew: you shouldn't Drew: state of Drew: the way you go though you won't have choice in the matter Carly: piss off Drew: i'm serious Drew: never make me use protection Drew: doubt you do any other punter Drew: you need to take better care of yourself Carly: its none of your business Carly: im not gonna drop another kid on you Drew: yeah that's what I reckoned with Ali too Drew: like I said, don't trust any of you Drew: especially you Drew: my business when its mine Carly: its not happening Carly: you can go back to not caring Drew: No, I can't Drew: don't you get it? This has changed my entire life Drew: I've gotta leave my home and everyone I've known because Drew: even if I don't step up, she's still my kid Drew: she's not going away Drew: I've not got my head stuck in the sand or up my arse like you Drew: you'll get this rude awakening one day too, mark my words Carly: stay and be a dad Carly: theres no-one in your way Carly: and she's going to uni it'll be a part time thing Drew: Oh yeah, what a dad I'll be Drew: drug dealer with nowt else to offer but gear and a bit of dirty cash Drew: whatever she says, she won't want a kid 'round that, i fucking wouldn't Drew: and Caleb will always be in the way Drew: fuck that Carly: she cant stop you Carly: neither can he Carly: and she will want the kid to have a dad Carly: nobodys is decent Carly: be around Drew: Can if I'm a criminal Drew: they'll just dob me in when they're sick of having me hanging about Drew: it'll have a dad, she knows she's got him Drew: don't need or want me Drew: can't hack it Carly: go straight Drew: now why would you tell me to do a thing like that Drew: no more drugs for you if I'm stuck stacking shelves for a kid that calls him dad and not me Carly: youre not the only dealer, goldie Drew: i repeat, what's in it for you Drew: why you care if i'm around if i'm not funding you Carly: i wanna help you Drew: what about yourself Drew: who helps you Carly: whoever deals in your place Drew: you'll get hurt Drew: shouldn't mess around with people like that Drew: like me Carly: i can handle it Carly: nothing to matter to you Drew: s'not true Drew: you might be stoned enough to pretend you don't give a fuck about anything Drew: but i'm not a monster you know Drew: christ Carly: im not saying you are Carly: but don't pretend you care Drew: shut up Drew: of course i do Drew: i don't want you to get killed or beaten up every day 'and numbed out by the hardest stuff Drew: i only starting dealing to you so you wouldn't go to someone else Carly: its not gonna be that Drew: what's it gonna be? you'll knuckle down, get a job, get some friends, only do a bit for fun on weekends? Drew: that's not what you're doing, not where you're headed Carly: i can stop whenever i want Drew: you can't Drew: if you think you can then you're more gone than i know you are Drew: can't bullshit me on this, i have your tab, remember? Carly: fuck off Carly: im not a junkie Drew: yes you are Drew: and on the off-chance you aren't Drew: you certainly act like one Drew: do you think all girls fuck me for drugs? maybe once for a club drug but this is years now, as often as I'll let it happen Drew: and I shouldn't have but Drew: yeah Carly: don't drew Carly: dont come here either Drew: Carly Drew: I'm sorry Drew: I won't Carly: keep your sorry Carly: i wanted you ok Drew: i know Drew: i've known for a while, longer than i'd ever admit Drew: what else can i say? Carly: nothing Carly: dont talk to me Carly: stay away Drew: but Drew: i want you too Drew: i do Carly: no you dont Drew: i fucking do Drew: i just want to stop Drew: stop helping you kill yourself Carly: im not going anywhere Drew: you will Drew: everyone leaves me Carly: ive got nowhere to go Carly: this caravan is it Carly: and i cant leave you im not with you Drew: but you are Drew: you're constant Drew: you'll either get better and realise you're better than me like Ro and Ali and my own sister Drew: or you'll fuck off to be fucked up somewhere else like my mum Drew: or worse Carly: im not them Carly: im not trying to be better than you i know im not Carly: youre so good, drew Carly: i dont wanna be anywhere you arent with anyone else Drew: i'm not Drew: i'm bad but i can't stop Drew: i don't know how Carly: not to me, you've always been good Carly: looked after me Carly: you said yourself you wanted to protect me Drew: but Drew: i still gave you drugs and i call you horrible things and Drew: only see you when i wanted to, when Ro wasn't around or whatever else dirt I was pulling Carly: i ask ill stop Carly: im not scared Carly: i want you more Drew: its not your fault Drew: do you mean it Drew: will you try Carly: yea Carly: ill be better Carly: treat you better Carly: let me and youll see Drew: how do you want me Drew: i'll do whatever you want Carly: I just want you Carly: I love you Drew: I love you too Carly: be here now Drew: 🏃