#it's felt a bit... trauma for trauma's sake so far this season. so having the pain tell us about the characters felt great.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 21 thoughts

this episode had me entirely TRANSFIXED. at no moment did i know what was going to happen next, and i badly wanted to learn!! rejoice: a skinner episode!!! where he is driven to desperation by how much he loves his agents! i truly do not think i could have asked for more!!

(okay, scully wasn't there, which is usually my number one priority... but hear me out: the episode was still SO good despite her absence, which is a testament to some HIGH QUALITY WRITING)

so!! back to my live report from approximately 24 hours ago, when i began my journey into this rollercoaster of an ep. take it away, past juni:

after last episode, i have gone through all of the emotions known to humankind. i am interested to see where we will go next, having ventured into those uncharted waters. perhaps these waters will be more… charted.

A SKINNER EPISODE!!! he’s framed for murder AGAIN??? he can’t keep being put in these circumstances bro 😭

why would skinner cover up a death caused by bees??? that seems pretty cut and dry. bees did it. nobody’s fault. unless they’re secret FBI bees the world isn’t supposed to know about…? obviously the doctor is going to say “yup, bees did it, not humans”, right?? i mean if someone dies of bee stings i assume it’s very obvious??? and that no murder charges would be filed?? because?? bees did it??

(author's note: lmao. what a fool i was)

skinner. i am ready to learn more about you. 

we open at a place that ships packages. this woman (jane) needs a cigarette. her friend (later revealed to be named misty) is telling her to quit smoking. i’m not sure that is an effective strategy.

jane runs to the bathroom and is going to smoke in there??? not even outside??? what was going ON in the 90's!!!

but oh no! some bees emerge from the bathroom sink. MANY MANY MANY BEES. someone please call that lady on tiktok that scoops hives out with her hands while whispering into the camera “another great day of saving the beeeeeeees” (god i hope she’s doing well)

bee swarm of intense proportions is going on rn. can you buy bees at the store? is that what they did for filming this? order a bunch of bees at the bee store?? huh. 

anyway, they’re approaching jane the cigarette lady very very quickly. they’re in the stall!!! she’s smacking at them!! 

but cig lady’s friend misty is getting concerned. she goes to the bathroom to fetch her friend where she finds… an empty bathroom?? free of bees. with only a smoking cigarette on the floor and DEAD JANE COVERED IN BEE STINGS!!!!!!!

WHERE DID THE BEES GO MAN!!!

dang. those bee stings are gnarly. shoutout makeup team.

skinner is looking at jane's files. why does this interest you, skinner?? why is he deleting them?? probably because he does not consider insect related cases FBI matters

WAIT! HE WASN’T ON HIS COMPUTER…. HE WAS ON MULDER’S!!!

WHAT!!! (we need to give this reveal some space to sink in)

... he knows mulder's passwords……?

skinner. WHAT are you hiding!!! i used to hate him and then i sort of liked him and then i hated him and now i am affectionate towards him. we must not begin the cycle again!!!

well, now i’m invested. 

intro time. and i'm still laughing about that tweet of scully serving three quarters profile in her badge pic

after so many shortened intros, this one felt long!!!

skinner is… leaving his house? he has a bookend that looks like an elephant. now what does that say about him… and a what looks like a buddha in the corner. IS this his house??? buddhist skinner confirmed?

he’s taking off a “do not enter” sign and going into the bathroom where the bee incident went down, armed with just a flashlight. and he finds the cigarette, which he flushes. he’s cleaning the bathroom floor with a portable vacuum!! WHAT DOES HE KNOW!!!!!!!

i’m literally soooo invested, i’m not even joking. his ass is on his hands and knees SCRUBBING. what has brought assistant director skinner to this forbidden janitorial work!?!

this is very dark though, screen wise. had to up the brightness. 

he finds something oozing from the ceiling. and he sniffs it before wiping it away. gross. is it honey? weird neon honey?

now he’s picking the lock of the MORGUE!!!!!!! is he gonna steal jane’s body??!!!!!! bro what the HELL!!!!

someone in the coroner’s office hears a distant thud and almost finds him TAKING HER BODY!!!!!!!!! it seems he narrowly escaped!!! he hid around the corner and took jane with him…. to a very weird place. he’s climbing up a ladder. is it an incinerator? 

bro, he must be strong as hell. anyway, he takes her body and places it in a fire. 

my guess is that somehow she was contaminated with secret bee poison and he needs to make sure no one else gets sick from it????? by incinerating the body?? but that doesn’t do anything about the bees themselves??

he’s at the police station now, asking about jane. HE GIVES HIS NAME AS MULDER????? he has a fake badge and everything… omg do NOT get my boy in trouble!!

the policeman shows him a vial of blood from jane, which he replaces with a vial from his own pocket, and wipes the pen he took. ohhhh what is going on!!!!!!

so now he’s going back to his car with the blood. but someone runs out to see him!!! calling “agent mulder”!

it’s the detective who emailed the pictures to the REAL mulder!!! he somehow knows that mulder is part of the x files (which i feel shouldn't be information random people should know) but skinner is trying to say that nothing here warrants his involvement. 

he is deeply suspicious. but someone is watching him!!!!!!!! who is this mystery fellow watching this go down????

skinner is get undressed at 3:55 AM. and it IS his house with the elephant and the buddha!!!

SKINNER FOLLOWS THE FOUR NOBLE TRUTHS AND THE EIGHTFOLD PATH, LET'S GOOOO 🔥🔥🔥

(that is a more interesting interpretation than him keeping a buddha around as decor, but hey, pick your headcanon as you please)

and who shows up but REAL MULDER!!!! AT 4 AM??? BRO WHAT IS HE DOING?? he should be on his couch!!!! sleeping!!

he has been trying to reach skinner…. OHHHH HE CLOCKED RIGHT AWAY THAT THERE IS A COVERUP!!!

and the detective was SHOT AND KILLED!!!! 

(my friend called me at this point to tell me that liam payne died. this has absolutely no relevance on the episode, but it did lead to me pausing for a half hour to share this news with others. and it would feel inappropriate to not include it in the write up)

mulder knows someone forged his name at the lab and he just wants skinner’s help!!

NO!!! SCULLY IS IN THE HOSPITAL SO SHE CAN’T HELP…. HER DOCTOR SAYS HER TUMOR MIGHT BE METASTASIZING… NO NO NO not my poor sweet scully...

no scully this episode…. this is sad :(

skinner is doubly gagged…… maybe even triply gagged between the revelation of the detective being killed, mulder being onto him, and scully being in the hospital. he is flabbergasted, one might even say. 

he’s going somewhere in very tight pants. someone tries to hit him with a car?!?

IT’S CSM!!!! and the guy from before who was watching the exchange with the detective go down!!!!!! 

ohhhh skinner has GRABBED him by the collar and is yelling that he MURDERED him!!! but CSM says to keep his voice down

“i wouldn’t get too comfortable on your moral high ground, mr. skinner. this only happened because you left your job unfinished” <- hey WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??

(i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again… CSM’s voice is so soothing. tell me a story, scary man)

skinner says that he has followed CSM’s instructions…. and when skinner points out that the detective didn’t have to die, he says that he is “in no position to question the terms of our arrangement”

is this the deal he negotiated with to try and save scully???? and is it even working if she’s in the hospital right now??

he tries to say they have no arrangement and walk away, but CSM basically says well, i’ll have my bestie here kill you. and so skinner saunters off in his very tight pants, defeated. 

he wakes up on the couch to a phone ringing. and it’s mulder saying that jane's body was stolen, and all the evidence has been cleaned. “slow down” “i’m sorry sir, but i can’t” <- his brain was in overdrive!!

mulder figured out the replacement blood wasn’t jane's because she has a different folate serum level and skinner seems to be cursing himself for such a mistake. a good catch on mulder's part.

he has one lead, and it’s the make of the gun. but skinner realizes something… his gun isn’t in his desk!!! WHAT!! NO NO NOOOOOO

he calls CSM and growls that “you can’t do this”…….  he says that the man died so skinner could have what he wanted… what does that mean…

A CURE FOR AGENT SCULLY??????

WHAT!!!!

what does that have to do with the bees!!!

“if anything happens to her, i will expose you” <- OHHHH HE IS NOT MESSING AROUND!!! he said i'll get us both thrown in prison if you fuck with my agents!!!!

“i don’t care what happens to me” <- OHHHH MY GOD I’M RIPPING OFF MY SHIRT IN BIBLICAL LEVELS OF GRIEF. he loves her.

“agent scully stands to live a full and healthy life. i would hope the same for you, mr. skinner” <- no no no no no. please don’t kill him. please? for me?

(this made me picture a world without skinner and it was very sad. do not make me imagine this ever again. i won't stand for it)

this episode has me HOOKED!!!!!

back at the shipping warehouse, skinner is being led to the restroom. the bee incident only went down yesterday!!!! he finds more of the yellow goop… and says he needs a hammer

he’s beating the hell out of that wall and finds it filled with honeycomb!! but this is probably EVIL honeycomb, right?

why yes, of course. he brings some of the evil honey to someone in maryland with a very cool in-house lab. oh, to be a maryland scientist with an incredible laboratory in the home that i own, because homes were plentiful in those days.

would it help to know that this bee can kill people? “any kind of bee can be lethal” <- well that is not super helpful in this particular case. nor is this fact comforting.

when it seems all hope is lost, bee scientist man finds some royal jelly and a larvae!! so hopefully soon they will have some answers. and now i know what royal jelly is.

oh, turns out 6 months ago mulder called the same guy asking about killer bees… well, he is always up to such activity. he was probably also calling a marine biologist about the loch ness monster. he keeps those DMV area professors BUSY

(author's note: now knowing what this is referring to, i think it is so fascinating to place s4 within a timeline of 6 months!!!!)

skinner is going through the x files folders down in mulder's office. and why the hell does one say “foo fighters” in the background!!! has the FBI finally found what the foo that they are fighting is???

OH!!! he finds the pictures of the child clones working in the honey farm!!! from earlier!! i was wondering if we were ever going to revisit that!!

he sees covarrubias' number on there so he starts to call her… omg…

(i have never seen one of those big rolly things of contact lists before)

but just as he is about to call, mulder walks in!!! he has pictures of the parking lot from the night of the Event… pictures that show a very blurry skinner that he cannot recognize AS skinner, but he’s going to take them over to special photo department, and oh no. oh no.

mulder asks what skinner wanted to tell him and he scrambles to just say he wanted to check on his progress… and i cannot tell if mulder believes him or not

skinner calls covarrubias about the bees. and she has to tell him that there was no bee evidence at all. so skinner counters with: well what if *i* have the bees??? well, then that would change things.

covarrubias is really pretty. while i may not like that she basically became deep throat 3.0, she is very pretty

bee scientist comes home to find all the lights out!!!!! his lights are covered in bees!!! it seems they broke through!!! no no no no!!! they cover his windows!! and he is being swarmed….. 

a terrible (or perhaps fitting) end for a man of bee science

mulder calls skinner down to show him the body of the bee scientist. and he had symptoms of SMALLPOX???? they put the smallpox in the BEES???? oh my god. new worst nightmare just dropped.

skinner wants to know how he contracted a disease that no longer exists, and yes, it did in fact come from the bees.

mulder thinks that someone is trying to revive the world’s deadliest disease!! oh my god!! how does this relate to the aliens???? i thought i knew at one point but now i don’t!! 

skinner asks mulder to tell him what he finds when he goes over to the photo department…

back at the shipping warehouse, skinner is talking to misty, jane’s friend. she clearly knows something but isn’t saying it. jane was misty’s best friend. and they were trying to go on vacation together. </3

OH. THE MEN WHO CAME THERE SAID IF THEY TALKED TO ANYONE SHE WOULD LOSE HER JOB….. they wanted a package!!!!! a damaged package!!

and it was stored right next to the bathroom where jane was found?!!

shipping bees… package gets damaged… bees get loose… smallpox bees everywhere… very bad very bad…

luckily, she can look up the tracking number!!!

back at the photo lab, someone who is not pendrell but looks like him is working on the photo. and mulder says that it is very important to him.

oh, his sad sad face as he realizes who it is…. like somebody punched a baby in front of him.

back at the alien groupchat meeting!! (again i think they’re called the syndicate?? i googled something once and that came up)

CSM is showing them the last remaining bee, saying all others were destroyed. and the body has been sanitized. CSM tries to say it has been taken care of. but the others want answers on what went down. 

“should we presume that the trial run is proceeding as planned?” “it’s already begun” <- HEY WHAT DOES THAT MEAN…… and why is the next shot KIDS ON A PLAYGROUND………… with a BEE BUZZING……….

kid gets stung by a bee…… as a ton of other kids ALSO get stung by bees!!!!!!! no!! not the kids!!!!

one kid trips and falls, and when the teacher tries to save him, she is swarmed!!!!!!! and the little kid has horrible marks all over him!!!! as do the other kids!!!!

skinner is here at this hospital to see what is going on… and he tells the doctor that the kids need to be treated for smallpox. this does not go over well with the doctor!!! he says that not only is smallpox no longer around, but it has an 8 day incubation period. well okay. i guess. things have changed.

covarrubias is here!! hold up is her name MARITA and i’ve been getting it wrong this whole time?! editing this post to refer to her by last name instead. i cannot tell if that is a subtitle error or the Truth. i’m sorry miss covarrubias. coh-vah-roo-bee-us.

she called asking about the contents of 7 packages sent to south carolina!!

“you’re a little late to do anything about it” “so are you, apparently” <- ohhh get his ass

she asks wtf is going on, and that she needs to tell the UN so don’t mess around. he hypothesizes that it’s an experiment using bees as carriers for disease. and when skinner says he hasn’t told mulder, she straight up asks if he’s involved OHHHH!! but he denies it. 

she says he has to come forward…..

back home. he starts to dial a number but stops, pulling his gun (which is now back in his desk!) out

AND OHHHHH MY GOD MULDER IS HERE AT SKINNER'S PLACE. “PUT THE GUN DOWN AND MOVE AWAY FROM THE DESK” <-OHHHH NO. IT’S GOING DOWN. 

ugh this is gonna be a two parter, isn’t it… i had a sneaking suspicion 

(it actually wasn't. but you can't blame me there. it was looking pretty close)

OHHHHHHH MULDER WENT THERE…. “you’ve been working with the smoking man all along. you knew when they had my father killed, and you knew when they took scully” <- OHHH MY GOD. his rage is barely contained and he looks like a damn animal.

skinner points out that the lock in his desk was forced open, why would he force his own lock open? and that the police are probably on their way right now. 

oh my gosh… i’m holding my breath… is mulder going to believe him? will skinner tell the truth?

“i advised you against a certain course of action some time ago concerning agent scully. i didn’t follow my own advice” <- oh my god........... the confession.............

he was willing to admit to making a deal with the devil for scully... does she know how loved she is...?

mulder gets quiet and says “give me the gun” <- WHAT IS HE THINKING? 

someone is firing it into some water? i guess that is how you figure out what the murder weapon is. and the guy says he is absolutely certain this is it.

mulder says they find it in a sewer grate around the corner (but for a moment i fully believed he was going to say it was his). the expert guy breaks the news that unless forensics pulled a print, it’s untraceable because the serial number was cleared off.

skinner leaves at this news. he almost smiles, and i wondered if the expert was going to call him out on such odd behavior. and from there, he goes to meet CSM. 

ohhhhh he has the gun to CSM's head!!! “agent scully is dying and you haven’t done a damn thing about it” <- HOLY SHIT!!! CSM’s smirking…. the right bastard

he claims that if skinner kills him, he’ll also kill scully… and that he had saved her life before when he had her returned to mulder.

“but you’ll never know if you pull the trigger, will you?” <- OHHHHHH MY GOD. is he bluffing or not!!!!! how would he have a way to cure her beyond letting one of the aliens he keeps on hold touch her???

SKINNER FIRES THREE SHOTS??????? DID HE SAY FUCK IT AND KILL HIM. IS THIS THE END OF CSM?????

NO. they were JUST behind his head. oh the tension was THICK.

message received. i hope. whoever is on the phone is asking about skinner, saying mulder will be contacting them soon.

it's covarrubias????? she says she’ll tell him what CSM wants her to tell him. WHAT!!!!!

“tell him what he wants to hear” <- HEY WHAT. IS HE GOING TO LIE AND SAY SCULLY IS OKAY????

thus concludes the episode.

I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS.

okay, first of all, covarrubias works for CSM. i feel silly for not picking up on that because we KNEW she works for the UN, famously the host of the alien groupchat parties, but i didn't even put it together at all. but just because she works for him doesn't really mean anything, because deep throat and x also nominally worked for him. to what extent is still unclear- maybe they did everything on his orders, stringing mulder along to keep him distracted from learning the truth- or maybe there were aspects of corruption they felt were "safe" to be exposed and lead him along the path for this deeper trap that CSM is laying for him. so we cannot make a covarrubias moral judgement just yet- but we also know we cannot trust her.

next. skinner loves his agents so much, dude. willing to kill AND die for scully to be okay... please think on this for a moment. and then think about it some more. how he told mulder to never make a deal with the devil, then did it himself even though he has so much to lose as the assistant director. and for the rest of his life he'll have to live with knowing he assisted in his murky and horrific plans, including infecting children with the world's deadliest diseases, because he could not stand to lose scully.

there are many kinds of love, some of which are complex and indescribable and cannot be inserted into conventional roles, and i think that is exactly what is going on here. the incalculable love for skinner and his agents.

okay. and mulder trusting skinner SO ABSOLUTELY. showing up at his apartment at 4 AM to ask for help. offering to take out the trash, and the constant updates he provided him on the case. the way his face FELL when he realized it was skinner in the photo. and how he came to believe that skinner knew about or was perhaps even behind the calls to kill his father and kidnap scully. how betrayed and horrified he was. how he must have recalled his mantra of "trust nobody", how he must have been kicking himself for falling into a false sense of security for a man who risked so much for them, but must have, in his mind, been luring him deeper and deeper into a trap. imagine all of that grief about scully being abducted and then getting sick and the loss of his father being placed at skinner's feet. mulder, who never for a second doubted that skinner was innocent in his earlier brush with the law. imagine how incredibly painful that "realization" would have been. and then how he wanted so badly to believe him, but after so many betrayals, it would take more than just a scratched desk for him to do so. but he does. god.

there is an addictive substance placed between the relationships of skinner to mulder and scully. something almost familiar. something almost entirely unspoken except for in a foundational and silent trust.

this episode was really, really good. probably my favorite of the season! i was trying to figure out what exactly was going on and why. it really raised the stakes for skinner, mulder, AND scully in a bunch of different directions: skinner being in CSM's pocket, covarrubias being in CSM's pocket, mulder believing her as she feeds him lies, scully's illness getting worse... whew!

more than anything i love to see the trust between characters tested and pulled, and their bonds put to the limits. so i am very pleased. i will likely be thinking of mulder's animalistic rage as he held the gun to skinner's face for a long, long time. and how skinner quietly admitted to doing what he told mulder not to. by jove. an excellent piece of television.

[anoninlondon]

THOUGHTS ABOUT ACGAS SERIES 5 (that nobody asked for…)

First, I love the show. I love its feel, its atmosphere, its decency and respect towards people and animals alike. I love the actors and all those who contribute to give us such lovely 7 hours of joy every year. And I’m really happy that so many people enjoyed S5.

**I hope not to be a downer to those people**

I really want to be one of them. I started so positively, absolutely loving the warm feeling of the first 3 episodes. We had really great moments - James’s struggle and return, the emotional telegram moment, Audrey *wrenning* herself into a warden uniform (and Siegfried’s reaction to it), Mrs P being her wingwoman, Jenny looking outside the farm and Helen coming to terms with it, Jimmy(s) just being cute, Carmody in all shapes and forms, Tristan hugging people, the dogs (of course the dogs)… it’s really good to remember the nice bits 😊.

Sadly, once we got into episode 4, for me things started to go a bit downhill. The locked door antics were funny, but I found them funny in a clumsy way. It’s nice that Tris and Richard came to an accord, but it felt weak, not supported by an actual understanding of one another. The last 10 minutes of the ep were delicious, but a bit too little to sustain the whole thing. Still, I was hopeful. But going forward, I really struggled to find much substance, and I’m annoyed by that. Tris drinking and going out every night - apparently because he had a *good* war? From the show that gave us the intensity of Siegfried’s and Audrey’s traumas related to the WWI, it really felt weak and inconsistent. No mention of Edward (though I still hope it’s in a PBS cut). Audrey’s warden experience - not to mention the wonderful Jeremy Swift - was used just for some comic relief - this is the same character that gave us such a window into her emotional struggle last season. I could go on, but you get the idea. James and Helen’s story was first and last episode. They kind of disappeared in the middle, and while the last episode was brilliant for them, there was very little build up throughout that again, it felt inconsistent.

Also, I wasn’t hyped by the press highlighting the ship or annoyed by the insertion of Miss Grantley. If used well, it could have been brilliant, but it felt flat. We had Siegfried wearing his heart on his sleeve for ages (Sam and Anna’s performance at the end of the last series was a masterclass in things deeply felt and not said) and suddenly we have the last episode of the series in which they barely speak to one another, Siegfried’s pride hurt by Miss Grantley’s rebuff, Audrey holding the fort by being super housekeeper, each in their own “box”. The Farnon brothers’ walk was funny and superbly acted by Sam and Callum, but it didn’t give us anything new - I thought they were far beyond their squabbles, and their time together could have been put to better use.

I just think that it was a bit of a waste. A fun, light, frothy series ( and no, I didn’t want drama for drama’s sake) where the only resolved arc, for me, was Carmody’s. The other characters are still beautifully dangling without a resolution. They gave us great performances, tender moments, lighthearted laughs, but it kind of feels disconnected and childish. It wouldn’t have taken much (after all, they have given us so much for 4 and half years!) and yet.

I don’t know if the show and the writers are changing direction (I hope not) or there is something I missed (probably) or it’s simply a way to drag things along (mostly the ship, but not exclusively). I hope (eternal optimist) for a CS that will pick up all the threads left hanging and will put them beautifully together as in the past - just under the Christmas tree for us to unwrap.

[kayesfanfics]

The Forgemaster’s Assistant

Pairing: Hector x GN! Reader

A/N: Takes place in season 2 before our boy gets put THROUGH it-

You were a human magician, you learned magic at a young age and continued to build up your powers as you grew up. You were persecuted for practicing magic, called a witch that lain with the devil, and given to the church by your own parents. They attempted to execute you, but you used your powers to escape and run far away where nobody would know you. Humans always feared and killed that which they did not understand, causing you to grow up despising people. If you were caught practicing magic, you’d have to flee yet another home and find a new one by yourself. One day, Dracula visited you in need of your powers of telepathy and telekinesis, and after learning more about you, considered you a great ally to his cause. You happily accepted his offer to help him, and you were loyal to Master Dracula. Alongside two human forgemasters, you were the only humans in a castle full of vampires that sneered down at you like you were a rat scurrying past their feet. So naturally, you stuck by the two forgemasters sides, or in your study where Dracula gave you a space to practice your magic and research old spells to aid him.

You didn’t really speak much with the forgemasters, Isaac being rather antisocial while Hector seemed a bit shy and wrapped up in his work. You couldn’t blame them, due to your shared trauma from humans, you too lacked the want or need to socialize with others much, perfectly content spending your day alone with your spell books. Sometimes Hectors undead puppy, Cezar, would wander into your quarters and run up to you, barking at you to pet him. Today was one of those days.

You were reading a book by candlelight, so engrossed in it you didn’t notice your door creak open. You jumped when you felt two little paws on your leg, and you looked down from your book to see Cezar panting and wagging what was left of his tail. You smiled softly, reaching down to pick him up and pet him. He jumped on your chest and licked at your face, causing you to let out a laugh as you pushed him down.

“What are you doing here, Cezar? Hector not paying enough attention to you, Hm?” You asked the dog, holding him away from your face as he attempted to lick you once more. “Slobbery little bastard. Go on, go back to Hector.”

You set the dog down and tried to shoo him away, but he only sat down and looked up at you with wide eyes. You sighed, getting up and guiding him out of your room before you shut it properly behind him. This cause the half dead pup to whine and scratch at your door, barking for you to let him back in.

“Oh for gods sake.” You muttered, opening the door again and picking the dog up. “Fine, I guess I’ll have to escort you back to Hector.”

You carried the dog down the halls, going up a flight of stairs to reach where Hector had set up shop. You heard the familiar clanging of his hammer on the metal table, at work resurrecting humans to turn into night creatures. You cleared your throat, to which he turned around mid swing of his hammer.

“Um…can I help you?” He asked after a moment of staring at one another.

“Oh, uh…your dog. He keeps bothering me while I try to work.” You said, setting Cezar down and watching as he ran to Hector.

“Ah, yes. He was bothering me as well, which I why I locked him out.” Hector set the hammer down and kneeled down to pet the energetic dog.

“Well, he’s been whining at my door, I can’t focus.” You crossed your arms.

“He likes you.” He shrugged, smiling softly up at you. “He’s just a being who wants love and attention, like you or I.”

“Yes but he is annoying as well.” You said, walking around the room, examining all the tools and foragers equipment. A searing hot fire crackled in the corner of the room, hot coals in another metal tin. Various books were stacked near a pile of tools, tools you would see in a morgue or hospital.

“Would you like to help me?”

“Pardon me?” You looked away from the equipment.

“Would you like to help? I can teach you a thing or two about forgemastery as well. I understand you are working to expand your knowledge on magic.” Hector said as he stood up and walked over to you.

“Well, yes, but Dracula doesn’t need me learning forgemastery. He’s having me study things like protection spells and weaponry spells, I’m not needed for necromancy.”

“Oh, this is much more than necromancy, Y/N.” He smiled, going to pick up his hammer again. “Would you like me to show you?”

“Well…” you gazed into his beautiful blue eyes, feeling drawn in by them and his kind demeanor. “I suppose I could help you out for a little while…but only if you promise to keep your dog away from my study.”

“Deal.” He smiled, holding out a hand for you to shake. You took it, his warm hand held yours softly as your eyes were drawn back to his kind eyes.

You hovered over him for a few hours that night, listening as he explained what forgemastery was exactly and how it worked. You loved learning about different forms of magic, so you were happy to let him ramble to you as you watched him work. He’d slam the hammer swiftly to the table, watching the corpse carefully for sighs of twitching and reanimation. You had to admit, seeing it up close for the first time exceeded your expectations, and watching him calm the creature and show it kindness made your chest flutter.

The next day Hector followed his dog to your study, where you asked him to help you with a spell. He held the book open for you and watched curiously as you chanted and objects around the room began to levitate, his beautiful blue eyes focused on you with awe. You explained to him the spell you were attempting to cast and it’s origins, to which he gladly listened, asking questions and genuinely being interested.

The two of you would study and read together after that, sitting in silence but with each others company. If either of you found something interesting or something the other could use, you’d alert the other and explore the subject together. Your hands would linger when handing each other books, you’d sit closely as you read over his shoulder, so close to him you could feel him breathing. Isaac would side eye the both of you, raising an eyebrow but nothing more before continuing on his way about the castle. He didn’t care much for either of you, seeing you as just coworkers, but even with the little attention he paid to the both of you, he could tell you were both falling for the other. He’d roll his eyes when your hands brushed up against each other or you’d giggle at some dumb remark Hector made while helping him in his workshop.

You’d slowly fallen for the silver haired man, his mind was as beautiful as his face. He wanted to learn more about you and what you were passionate about, and he’d actually listen to you. Nobody ever sat down to try and understand you before, so the attention you received from him was flattering and refreshing. His eyes always looked at you with kindness and curiosity, almost with a childlike wonder as you talked about the old magicians and their knowledge passed down in these books. He would talk about his own studies to you as well, he spoke with such confidence and intellect, he was proper and polite no matter what.

“Y/N!”

“Yes?” You looked up at him, snapped back into reality from your thoughts.

“Could you hand me the pliers, please?” Hector asked, his hand busy with holding a wound open on a corpse.

“Oh! Yes, sorry!” You grabbed the pliers from the opposite end of the table, handing them to him.

“Are you alright? I’ve not known you to daydream.” He asked as he used the pliers to dig a bullet out of the corpses chest.

“I’m fine, just…thinking, is all.” You shrugged.

“About?” He asked, not looking up from his work.

“Nothing, just…the war.” You made up, crossing your arms and looking away to hide the blush in your face.

“Ah.” He said simply, focusing on his task. His brows furrowed and his lips pursed slightly as he worked the bullet out of the man, finally getting it out and setting it on the table.

“Hector?”

“Y/N?”

“We’re friends, right?” You asked, and he looked down at you, tilting his head slightly.

“I would say yes. Why do you ask?”

“I just wanted to know. I’ve never really had a friend before, you know?”

“Nor have I.” He smiled, his eyes softening as you fidgeted under his gaze. “But don’t tell Isaac, he wants everything to remain strictly professional, the hardass.”

“Of course.” You giggled, smiling back up at him.

You subconsciously placed your hand on top of his before you could stop yourself. His breath hitched in his throat, looking down at your hand. You were about to pull away when he took your hand, placing it on his chest to pull you closer to him. Your eyes widened as you gazed up at him with innocent eyes, face surely the same color of the blood on the work table by now.

“May I…kiss you?” He asked sheepishly, his own face coated with a light blush across his cheeks. You nodded slowly, before your lips connected with his. You’d never even held hands with someone before, let alone kissed anyone. But you knew his kiss was amazing, his lips were soft and his hold on you gentle as you relaxed in his arms as the kiss deepened. Your hands found his chest as his held the small of your back, pulling you up to reach his lips. Both of you were so focused on the others touch, you didn’t notice someone enter the room.

“Ahem.”

Hector broke the kiss quickly, and you shoved him away as your face turned impossibly redder. You turned to see Isaac standing in the doorway, and unamused look on his face as he judged the two of you mentally.

“Isaac! What brings you here?” Hector asked, fixing his shirt awkwardly.

“Apparently, making sure you two don’t fuck right next to the corpse.” He raised an eyebrow and looked at the poor dead man on the table.

“What?! We wouldn’t-“

“That’s not what was-“

“Oh, save it.” He raised a hand to silence you both. “Y/N, Master Dracula required your presence. Hector, I suggest you get back to work.”

“Cockblock.” Hector muttered, only loud enough for you to hear. You laughed, Isaac’s head turning to glare at the both of you.

“Let’s continue this later, perhaps in my quarters?” You asked Hector bashfully as you backed towards the door.

“Deal.” He smiled deviously, ignoring Isaac’s noise of disapproval.

[markantonys]

I'm thinking about Rand's ending in the books and I hate both the bodyswap and that he abandons everyone but at the same time I get that his sacrifice has to mean something so the world forgets him/lets him fade into myth. And him actually dying would undermine the entire point of his arc. So I'm curious how you think the show might tackle this? I'm sure there's a few options

i hate it too! but yeah, rand needs to be forgotten by the world at large and needs to get a new face so he won't be recognized, or else he will never know peace. so the way i would do it is have him fade into myth among the general public, but still remain part of his loved ones' lives and they all just keep secret the fact that this guy is rand al'thor. his whole arc is about learning to stop self-isolating and to instead let himself lean on his loved ones for support, so i felt that him ending the series by fucking off into the mist all alone was totally contrary to that and did not make emotional sense as the endpoint of the journey we'd been on with him for 14 books. i can certainly understand if he needs to take a lil sabbatical and have some time to himself in the immediate aftermath, but that should not have been the very final concluding note of his whole arc! for my own sanity i have to imagine he just took a 2-week vacation and then went to caemlyn to be with his family (and told tam, nynaeve, and perrin that he's still alive, and rescued mat from the seanchan and incorporated him into the polycule, and bargained with the creator to bring egwene and gawyn back to life........okay i'm getting sidetracked)

as for what the show might do, i'll brace myself for them to adhere to the book version, but from what we've seen in the first 2 seasons, i think that ending would make even less sense for show!rand than it does for book!rand. in 1x08, we see that his greatest dream is to live a quiet, peaceful life with his family, and now we're going on a journey of watching him be forced to give up that dream for the rest of the series. what better way to end the show than by having rand finally get to live out that dream now that his duty to the world is done? the tears i would weep if the final scene of the show was similar to his 1x08 domestic AU, but real this time! plus, the s1 ending & s2 already did the whole thing of rand fucking off into the mist all alone, making his loved ones think he's dead, and trying to start over in a new town with a new life - AND HE LEARNS THAT THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE because he can't help but get attached to new people wherever he goes AND because he can't keep himself from remaining attached to the people from his old life and wanting to help them when he learns they're in trouble. and it also showed how his loved ones suffer because of him making them think he's dead and took a pretty hard stance in saying "no, no one is better off if rand fakes his death, not rand and not his loved ones." so i especially think rand's book epilogue scene would ring hollow in the show since s2 has specifically proven that that scenario doesn't work.

some people will harp on about happy endings being uNrEaLIsTIc, but i Do Not Give A Shit!!!! and so far the show has also shown that it's not interested in grimdark for grimdark's sake and that, like the books, it doesn't shy away from showing trauma and tragedy and yet still chooses hope & togetherness over cynicism & isolation at the end of the day, and so i think it feels very plausible for the show to give rand a bit more hopeful of an ending. (i guess the books TRIED to give him a hopeful ending what with him thinking happily about how he can travel around by himself and not be recognized, but it just felt false to me that that's the sort of thing that would make rand happy - in large part because show!rand was the first version i ever met, and i subconsciously carried his homebody caregiver stay-at-home dad-ness with me into the books even though he wasn't REALLY like that in the books in the way he is in the show. so that feels like further evidence that book!epilogue wouldn't work for show!rand.)

now as for the bodyswap, that's so tricky to imagine what the show might do. on the one hand, rand cannot fade into anonymity and be allowed to rest and set down his duties if he keeps his same body and will still be recognized wherever he goes. on the other hand, imagining rand's final moments in the whole show being portrayed by some random new actor instead of josha is so freaking sad! sad for us and sad for josha! it's fine in a book where we're in rand's head and can feel that he's still him even though he tells us he looks different, but in a visual medium, spending up to 8 seasons with josha as rand only to have his final moments be portrayed by a completely different person..........the emotions just wouldn't hit the same, it wouldn't feel like a proper sendoff for rand. granted, if moridin's actor had been in the show for several seasons already (and whether they would cast a new actor as moridin or bring fares fares back and just have the character still be called ishamael is another question i can't predict) then we'd be attached to him too by the finale, so maaaaaybe it could still feel emotional, but never as emotional as if it were josha doing that scene.

so i'm stuck here because story-wise it makes more sense for rand to get a new face, but TV-wise it's not sensible to have one of the main characters played by a different actor in their final scene(s). the potential solution to this would be, no bodyswap but have rand disguise his face with an illusion when in public so that he doesn't get recognized as the dragon reborn and get hassled.

so, okay, here's what i would do: rand wakes up in the healing tent still in his original body, but then he disguises himself and leaves the tent. he passes by his own funeral going on and slips away into the night, after exchanging a meaningful look with his partners who can sense that this stranger is him thanks to the bonds. then, cut to a proper epilogue scene of josha-as-rand undisguised in the privacy of his own home, watching his kids play with his partners by his side (and maybe all his friends and tam too if they REALLY feel like spoiling me haha) just like he told us in 1x01 he always dreamed of :')

[cosmic-day]

Having seen the final season of The Umbrella Academy: I didn’t hate it quite as much as most of fandom seem to, but I also didn’t love it. Rambly thoughts and massive spoilers under the cut:

First of all, I don’t know how much the compressed episode count affected things, but I felt like adding  ‘could/would have worked better if fleshed out more’ at the end of every sentence in this review.

As far as positives go, I was OK with the ending. It has been baked into the show from the beginning that the Hargreeves siblings only break whatever they try to fix, and their erasure from the universe being the only thing that restores the timeline does make sense. I kind of respect the show for committing to that, rather than finding a last minute “they died but not really” cop out.

I loved Abigail’s role in it as well and think that is a really underrated bit of satisfying writing: Abigail who has been literally and figuratively fridged for three seasons gets to tell Reginald that she never asked for this and never wanted it, and most importantly gets to not only seize control of the narrative but end it. That part really worked for me.

Viktor had a decent arc and also got to confront Reginald about his shitty parenting which was also satisfying.

Unfortunately, there the positives end.

Most of the other characters got short changed. Klaus was stuck in an irrelevant subplot, as he often is, but here it felt more irrelevant than usual, and also gratuitously dark – I mean, it’s a dark show at times but this felt like trauma porn for the sake of it. Allison had some good moments, but not much of an arc. Diego and Luther were both reduced to goofy, borderline pathetic comic relief in a way that just felt mean spirited at times. Ben and Jennifer needed way more time to work properly.

And then there’s the Five/Lila of it all.

I love these guys. Not only are they my favourite individual characters, but I loved their enemies to chaotic besties arc, and I really wanted more of that friendship. The subway plot was a brilliant idea, and I could have watched a whole episode (I’m thinking the Last Of Us episode ‘Long Long Time’), following them surviving together and developing their friendship (and also maybe addressing little irrelevant details like Five being the killer of her parents). But they just had to shoehorn in a romance, by Steve Blackman’s admission, because they ‘had to have a love story’ for Five. OK, but why? Why does a character ‘need’ a romance? Also, protip, but if you do something because you feel it ‘has’ to happen, and not because you want to develop the characters in any way, it shows.

I should say I don’t particularly care about the age gap issues. Nor do I entirely agree with the argument that it’s ooc for Five, because our precious blorbo Would Never betray his brother like that. I love Five, but he’s a little shit. Also, I’ve seen many complaints that he spent decades in the apocalypse and never gave up so why is he giving up now, but maybe he gave up because he spent decades in the apocalypse. Maybe he’s just tired. Everyone has limits, and Five has hit his.

I just hate that platonic relationships are always erased, sidelined and overwritten in favour of romantic relationships because those are obviously more important and more interesting. Five’s friendship with Lila and devotion to his family are also love stories, and they’re not lesser because they’re not romantic. I also violently hate love triangles. This one was particularly annoying and not even properly resolved.

Overall the season just felt lacking. Where were the great big goofy, joyous setpieces, or alternatively, if such is your jam, the dark and deranged pieces of ultra violence set to a banger of a pop tune. Where, in short, were Footloose and Istanbul Not Constantinople. (Though I will admit Baby Shark made me laugh.)

Anyway. I wouldn’t say the show is ruined for me, but it was a disappointing conclusion and my least favourite season by far.

[trickster-archangel]

I have conflicting opinions on this whole episode, and this scene even more. Then I read the tags added by @merlin-wolfgang-trades-hale and I stopped to reflect a bit more.

Let's just say that the whole "dating&mating season" in season 10 is so pitiful and badly written, that if it was a cishet dudebro homophobic asshole desperate attempt at screaming NO HOMO!!! ....Let's just say maybe the dudebro should consider another career path because clearly, writing is definitely not his thing. If ever, the whole vet disaster, and then the Brooke-dating Schrödinger Problem which exists and not-exists at the same time, and that hallucinating mushrooms-induced nightmare that was Joanna....only helped doing a thing, just one: confirming that Steve and Danny are NOT heterosexual, are NOT interested in making ANY KIND OF HET RELATIONSHIP work, and the only person for each other is, well, the other.

I agree that Danny here is in a bad mental place, just as bad as Steve’s (and if Steve’s collapsing mental health finally brought him to run away and try to find himself alone and far away from everyone and everything connected to his past and what he did for that past....well, I can only say that Danny couldn’t be in a better position when he hooked up with Joanna in a bar restroom. The whole episode is so wildly OOC and Danny is so clearly trying to interpret a role that doesn't fit his skin, that I can only parallel his actions with Steve's final escape: a desperate soul's last attempt to find a meaning and a grounding when they feel the ground giving way under their feet, because they keep refusing the chance that exactly because of their emotional trauma and past baggage, a romance between them could not only work, but thrive and finally help them heal. But this is matter for another rant). And I agree that probably he doesn't like having all these folks merrily gathered on the couch, while he's mourning Grace’s absence and the emotional stability her physical presencein his life, at his side, has granted him in any context (he's always carried on for her), while he's consuming himself in the guilt of having caused an innocent woman's death only by involving her in his messed up head, while he's mourning the (apparent) loss of his first love, Brooke, and his true and last love, Steve, by being forced at seeing them together (and it doesn't do that Steve doesn't fucking care about her, doesn't look at her, doesn't touch her if not by appearances sake, and his hand is barely hovering on her shoulder like he's frightened he might catch some kind of heterosexual virus if he interacts with her too closely. All the time basking into Danny’s presence, using his trademark Smooth Dog move on him, contemplating how hard he'll have to fight the urge to kiss Danny’s forehead and sneak his hand inside Danny's cleavage), while he's contemplating that once again everyone has left him behind after having consumed him or having exploited everything he could give, everyone but Steve, who's the one he cannot have.....

So Danny probably wanted an alone night with Steve, this day only, and God help me but he was in such an emotionally frail state, that I fear that he could've really blurted out everything he felt. After Joanna's death he didn't talk to Steve about it, even when he asked - and this can only mean (and Steve is well aware of it) that Danny's bottling everything up and he's a second away from exploding, leaving only death and blood and rubbles in the aftermath. He knows his boy. He just doesn't know which kind of explosion he's about to live through: the angry, mean, violent, destructive one? Or the emotional breakdown kind of collapse?

Either way, Steve knows they're both on a bad path. He knows that if any of them says something on this night, there won't be any turning back. Words won't be unheard and unspoken. And he's terrified: because he knows, he's not an idiot, and he knows just how broken and self-destructive they've been lately. And he's frightened that if they finally say the word and cannot go back, this could really be the day everything good between them is lost forever. Because even if they start being officially a couple, even if the love and the sexual chemistry and the immediate and instinctual understanding are amazing and perfect, he knows they're so badly fucked up that they could ruin it. He's sure they'd ruin it.

And that's why this self-sacrificing idiot, once again, is smothering his need and desire and brings everyone with him. As a buffer. To protect Danny and himself from what he's sure would happen without witnesses as buffers.

And it breaks my heart because Danny, given his face during the whole snuggling, probably guessed Steve's intentions...and doesn't even try too hard to stop him. Because he, too, is scared of what could happen otherwise.

Please someone put them into SERIOUS therapy.

McDanno having a movie night cuddle session on Valentine’s Day 

H50 10x16

[girlswithambition]

Prince of Song and Sea - Exploring the Bravery in Love

Buy it here: https://bookshop.org/books/prince-of-song-sea/9781368069113

Seriously, I implore you. I'm gonna remind you a few more times.

Tragically, the audiobook is not read by Chris Barnes, but from a cursory listen it tears my heart asunder almost as much.

Prince of Song & Sea surprised me in the best way. It's delightfully-characterized, elevates its source material, and is queer in a way I imagine Howard Ashman would have been proud of.

And oh Gods, it's about trauma: real, violating, human trauma that goes beyond the safe bounds of a typical angstfest. I didn't expect that at all. The audience might read this knowing the courageous tropes fairytale princes carry with them, but Eric's strength comes through his vulnerability.

It comes with the Die Hard-style end that he brings Ursula, too but that kind of goes without saying. This book hits the notes you're looking for from the film and they feel just as satisfying, but I treasure the quieter moments throughout.

I never quite know what I'm getting into when I read licensed lit. 1989's The Little Mermaid has inspired a few YA titles over the last decade or so, and they're mostly enjoyable but relatively hit-or-miss. They're something you read because you're attached to the source material.

Some relatively spoiler-free reasons to enjoy Song & Sea for its own sake:

Linsey Miller did her homework. It shows on every page in loving, but relevant detail. I don't like to get persnickety about what's canon or accurate, as that doesn't a good story make. But the spirit of what made these characters compelling exists in Song&Sea's foundation.

Queerness. My little gay heart swam out to sea and hasn't returned. 21st century lit can get a bit checkboxy as far as queer representation goes, only scratching the surface of how queer humans might exist in literary worlds, but I felt the gay in Song&Sea's bones. And if you can't feel The Gay wafting up from its pages, are you really reading nautical literature?

Sometimes reads like a season finale of Buffy. To tell you why and which season(s) might spoil you, but it's for more than one reason.

Grimsby, my man. I love him.

I'm not going to shut up about it: I can't remember the last time I've read such an authentic portrayal of relational trauma.

Characterizes both Eric and Ariel in the best faith, and raises a discrete proverbial middle finger to criticisms that don't matter, Broadway Musical. The pot shots it takes at the Broadway plot made me giggle okay?

I had planned to go point-for-point with a bit more eloquence, but I think that's going to be relegated to drip-feeding tagged spoilers under some readmores for the next few weeks/months. I've been holding these feels in or ages and they've fermented. Unfortunately, I have the alcohol tolerance of a small child.

Please drop me a DM or an ask if you want to discuss it further - I have a ton more to say and would love to scream about it like an excited goat.

[eatsockss]

c!tommy being terrified to take damage is so heartbreaking bc like,,, this kid has been on one life since the First War. ik the three lives rule wasnt canon until after season 1 but i like to circumvent that bit of canon by saying that it was always there but even ppl on their last life didn’t fully Believe it-it was more of a scary story than anything- but then schlatt and wilbur died in quick succession and didn’t come back and everybody on the sever collectively went Oh and became much more protective of their lives. but even then tommy was never particularly careful with his last life. he fought and taunted people far more powerful than him (dream and techno come to mind off the bat), he considered taking his own life during exile, he seemed to have come to terms with dying in the disc war finale. but now? after experiencing death? having been Stuck in that void for months with people who Hurt him (Wilbur who he hadn’t really ever processed as having hurt him bc he separated Wilbur and Vilbur in his head much like we as a fandom do) when it felt like his very soul was being put through a shredder. now even a tick of damage and he’s crying out in panic. when he was talking to tubbo on the prime path he looked over the edge at the four or five block drop and muttered to himself about how it was a short drop that he should be able to mlg water clutch. for c!tommys sake i hope this is just the lingering sensory overload we saw him experience when he was first brought back to life. because this server is deep in the cycle of violence. it is so easy to hurt and to be hurt in return. but if it’s what i think it is (a panic response to stimuli that reminds him of his trauma) then it’s going to be a while before tommy feels Safe enough to be brash and reckless and cocky. because those traits belonged to a kid that quite literally died in that prison.

[kitty-kedi]

My favorite thanks to them moments (part 5)(cause this episode is to good not to)

Yess hunter!!! Tell him!!!! 😤

This is one of the highest moments for hunter so far in my opinion. He may have know that below was evil but like he said in 'labyrinth runners' sometimes you just wanna keep lying to yourself for the sake of everything going back to how it was, even if that wasn't always better. So I'm very proud of hunter in that aspect.

I have said it once and I'll say it again, Camila is SO much better in canon than in fanon and that's a rare occasion.

I loved how she just didn't hesitate. Mama is a vet, found mother of six, and a good swimmer? My gosh the creator know how to make every character so likeable in this show!!!

What did she think he liked like?🤔

She's like, " I knew you had to have something bad from all your scars and stuff but seeing it in person is. WHOLE other thing!!!" I also like how amity Luz and Gus have the same face like " oh no what's he planning now" I don't know if it's just the screenshot but vee looks mad as well Wich rightfully so.

I'ma be honest I did not notice the brown eyes until someone pointed it out.

Oh poor hunter..😿 he has so many new scars now, Wich is gonna take some getting used to but.....why flapjack......I mean I know why but like did he not already have enough trauma Dana? What sickly beautiful thing are you creating. Also willows reaction to grimwalkers is definitely going to be brought up again right?

.................it's better than I could have ever dreamed of. 🥹

Now on the topic of where Luz was gonna stay I changed back and forth a bit. At first I always saw and thought of Luz and amity living in the human realm together with access to a portal door of of course. Then I heard more theories and reasoning and started to HEAVILY lean on the fact that Luz was gonna stay in the demon realm, I mean look at the evidence from 'hunting palisman' to found family. The only thing that seemed out of place was her leaving Camila. I had just originally thought that that was vees purpose as a character actually. That they would build on her and Camila's bond more and it would go from there. With all the popular headcanons of Camila character the aspect of Camila going to the demon realm just never felt right to me. But this episode makes my mind take a total 180 spin on that aspect and I love it!!! (Also luz's face looks really cute in this screenshot )

Show this scene to someone who hasn't seen the show, this perfectly sums up both of their characters as of now.

It's great to hear that Gus wants to come back to the human realm again and that he isn't done with it. He still loves human stuff just as he started and I love that for him. Willows lines in this episode are just.........my gosh I love what shes become😂💞. I want to see her get revenge!!! I want the whole main cast to get their own special hit at belos👊. (Except Lilith since she already got her turn)

Not as much Camila and vee content as a was expecting there to be but I still love um 🥺💕

Vee and Camila parallel Eda and Luz to me in a way. The first one shows the more boss - apprentice sorta dynamic if you know what I mean Camila strictly telling vee what to do, like how Luz used to work for eda back in early season 1. And then the second being the found family aspect and how much they really have grown to care about eachother.

The owl house always makes me laugh with things like this. 😂

......where's the egg?...….... Ok yea yea the Camilia and Luz scene was cute as well as the lumity scene but.....THE EGG!!!!! Part of me wants to believe one of them has it hidden somewhere with them. Or vee will have to come back and give it to them but, I feel like the next specials are gonna be really, REALLY angsty and im scared. 😥

[magical-girl-coral]

et any more than ten notes, but fuck it, here are the reasons why Entrapta should have been kidnapped instead of Catra :

Catra's redemption would have felt more well earned - if Catra was trying to find a way to help Glimmer and Entrapta, then her change would seem more legitimate. She already showed signs of guilt through her nightmares of what she did to Entrapta. Instead of falling to her old ways like in Prime's ship, she would most likely go through a complete 180 and almost kill herself while trying to prove her worth. Imagine Catra trying to befriend Emily and Imp so they could find a way to save Entrapta, putting aside her past grievances with them so they could signal Entrapta on Prime's ship. Maybe Imp was the one collecting robot bits, so they could give it to Entrapta once they find her. Maybe Emily showed one of Entrapta's old recordings before she was sent to Beast Island for the sake of filling the empty space she left. The possibilities are endless.

Making the princesses look more justified in their anger - The princesses' ableism was handled terribly. There is no way around this. Neurotypicals obviously wrote episode two, and it shows*. However, once you replace Entrapta with Catra, their anger, hostility, and Scorpia's timidness make way more sense. Mermista's rage especially makes the most sense since Saelinas was the kingdom was fell first thanks to Catra and Hordak. Instead of making all of our favorite characters, ableist assholes, this plotline makes them more human. The power of friendship can only run so far, after all, and every single princess is allowed to have a breaking point in trust. 

It would showcase Entrapta's real priorities - For most of the show, both fans and characters see Entrapta as someone who would never care about anything other than tech. Now, if that were true, then Entrapta would have no problem joining Prime's side. But that's not what would happen. Instead, Entrapta would unleash hell on Prime's ship without Prime even noticing. Sending signals to Etheria and new tech designs, helping Glimmer escape and sending her back to the Best Friends Squad, all while showing zero hesitation. Entrapta loves tech unconditionally until it starts to mess with her friends.

It could show ableism correctly through Prime with how he would treat Entrapta - This is my scenario of how Entrapta ends up on Prime's ship (please tell me if you have anything better): Prime, after looking into Hordak's memories, sees a young and brilliant scientist. Prime decided to show her his ship, trying to seduce Entrapta into improving his tech while convincing her that a 'defective, retarded, emotionless' Etherian like her could never truly be great, so she might as well give up now. He would touch without her consent and shame her for turning his "affection" away. Instead of falling to his manipulations, Entrapta realizes that he is afraid of her. She's biologically different then most Etherians, and Prime doesn't know how to control her. That gives her the final push of courage she needed to have to go behind Prime's back and rescue Glimmer. By making Prime ableist instead of the princesses, the show tells us how ableist is bad and disables people deserve more respect (I know that most of the show's fans are above fifteen, but with how the fandom has been acting, they deserve to be taught like children).

It would give a parallel 'be careful what you wish for' between Entrapta and Catra - At the start of the series, all Entrapta wanted was to see more advanced tech, and all Catra wanted was to see Etheria conquered. They both got exactly what they wanted, and their lives couldn't be worse. 

A chipped Entrapta breaking free from the hive mind because of her autism would be awesome - That's it. That's the pro. I'm incredibly desperate for more good autism rep, and this would be amazing.

Catra and Adora bonding while in space would be excellent for both characters - As much as I love the angst from chipped Catra, it feels more like fanservice now. At the end of the day, it felt like Catra and Adora didn't bond enough to have a solid devolvement in their relationship. This could change if they went to space together with Bow. Instead of spending just half of the last season together, they spend the next eleven episodes bonding in the insanity of their situation. It would also allow more time for Catra to understand Adora's abuse under Shadow Weaver. By forcing those two into a close space in the middle of nowhere, they would have no choice but to confront the other about their issues. And speaking of much-needed bonding time.

Glimmer would get a chance to face Catra about Angella's death - If there is one thing I will never forgive season five for, is forgetting Angella's death.  It was Glimmer's main motivation to take more action against the Horde, it was what almost drove Micah to despair, and it was the final nail in the coffin for Adora, making her stop taking the blame for everything and take Catra's threat to the world more seriously. But then season five happened and they just... forgot about her? She was never mentioned again because if she were mentioned, Catra would look bad, and Glimmer would have a reason to hate her. But if Glimmer were to meet Catra again outside of Prime's ship, with all the trauma she went through there, she would definitely take out on Catra (kind of like how Katara took out her anger on Zuko after he joined the gang).

Hordak would join the Best Friend Squad early after they save Entrapta and would get more devolvement as a result- If you think for one second that Hordak won't abandon Prime after what he did to Entrapta, then you haven't been watching the same show. I don't know how he joins the BFS. Maybe Catra tried to find him to fix her mistakes**, maybe he finds them by accident and remembers some of the past events as a result, or maybe he was one of the clones that witnessed chipped Entrapta and got a wake-up call. Either way, he wouldn't sit back and watch Prime continue to ruin his only friend's life. This would give him more screen time to show his backstory more clearly, give more sympathy for the clones along with a better redemption arc. And finally, the most crucial point.

Catra's growth would be more consensual - Most of Catra's maturity seemed to be out of her control. She helped Glimmer because she felt like no one wants her anymore. She had her hair cut because Prime wanted her to look more tamed. She was buddy-buddy with Glimmer and Bow because the plot says so. Nothing that happened this season seemed to be with Catra's consent, which made me feel extremely uncomfortable. Instead of watching Catra go through glorified torture porn, imagine her changing from her own free will. She cuts her because her hair reminds her of how Shadow Weaver's hair looked wild when she was angry. She changes clothes because she didn't want to wear her crown anymore. She goes to space with Bow and Adora because she wants to do good with her life, and is tired of being the mean old bully she was never meant to be. Doesn't this seem more satisfying?

*here, here, here, here and here are some metas about why Entrapta’s treatment was written terribly. I’m too tired to explain myself, and these posts tell the show’s problems better then I could

** I really like the idea of Catra finding the Luvd crystal and returning it to Hordak as a way apologize for how she has separated them. It would also be a cool parallel to all the times she took the crystal out of Hordak’s suit.

Edit: holy shit, there were so many typos here. Why didn’t any of you guys tell me?

Double edit: soooooo... I may or may have not written a fic...that you can read here...please support me, my brain is begging for more serotonin.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Insecurity Is One Of Regina's Prime Motivations

Made this post on reddit initially and thought that I’d get tumblr’s thoughts too. to preface this I’d like to say that I’m not saying that insecurity is her only motive nor is it her main motive. But I do think that it is a very strong contender.

Warnings for eating disorder and abuse mentions. If you want to see the full discussion here’s a link.

So (very recently ) I was part of a discussion about fatal character flaws and it got me thinking. For the aforementioned discussion I went back and found two  pages from the Regina Rising novel. 

The entire page (as well as several other scenes) makes me think that Regina would have a lot of insecurities. Regina isn't comfortable with herself  as a whole, she's not comfortable in her own skin and doesn't love  herself. If that makes sense. For the sake of not having to type it all again I'll post that comment here;

Though  I do think that insecurity stemming from guilt is definitely part of   it--especially with post redemption Regina. Pre-redemption Regina though  is another matter. I actually had a very specific scene in mind (I'll get to that in a bit). I think that her insecurity began far before her  quest for vengeance. It started with Cora trying to police everything in  her life right down to how she rides horses ("you ride like a man").

In  the Regina Rising novel Cora criticizes Regina's ability to paint and (if I remember right) her dancing skills. She also criticizes her outfit  choices. And there was a part where it is implied that Cora restricted  her eating habits as well.  I'll have to see if I can find that page.

So  I think that her insecurity stems from years of her mother belittling her for every little thing. The root is Cora and the imposing of her   will onto Regina. That Regina never seemed to be able to please her and meet her high standards.

The scene  I mentioned above was in episode 14 of season 6. This is the episode  where The Evil Queen is following an arrow to take her to the person she  hates the most. In the end it leads her to a mirror.

This  leads me to say that it goes beyond feeling guilt. I think that she's always been mad at herself. I think that guilt does come into play; deep  down I think that she felt responsible for Daniel's death. And so that  guilt fueled the insecurity she already felt and that insecurity lead to  her vengefulness and hatred.

So  to answer your question simply; I don't think that vengefulness is the  root but it is a big factor. I think that emotional/verbal child abuse  is the root of her insecurity. And thus insecurity is the root of her fatal flaw.

More specifically, I feel like Regina probably has or had body image issues. This is something that I don't think I've seen people talk about very much. But I actually (since reading the novel) have begun to headcanon that she, at one point, might have suffered from an eating disorder or at the very least was very self-cautious about eating habits. The thing that caught my attention and led to me thinking this the most was the very bottom most line of the second image.

Basically I feel like a lot of Regina's vengfulness and her former hatred of people like Emma and Snow stemmed from trauma and insecurity. That her hatred of herself had a pretty big hand in her seeking vengeance and casting the curse. Snow sharing her secret and Daniel's death was just the catalyst--the thing that caused all of these insecurities and all of this anger that has been building to finally come to the surface.

I'd love to hear what everyone else thinks of this speculation.

[sepublic]

Kipo’s Final Season

           Well, it was a journey you guys.

           Inevitably it’s bittersweet, because while it WAS a happy ending… You know. It’s an ending! Phenomenal final season, final trio of seasons, the show really wrapped itself up, but I’m empty that it’s gone now!

           It’s why I held off on watching the final season… My heart wasn’t ready to let go yet. And sure, if the third season were suddenly to get a BUNCH of ratings, we might get those additional motives that Radfor Sechrist hinted at the possibility of! But I’m still sad because the main journey is gone, and the cast, as we’ve gotten to know them, have left!

           Not entirely, but still! I will have to say that Kipo, Benson, Wolf, Mandu, and Troy are ROCKING all of their new looks! I love that Kipo looks more like her dad Lio, too! Speaking of which, I really enjoyed seeing Dave and Lio get along unintentionally… It was AMAZING to see Song return, and I just…

           I’m SAY, you know! I’m sad to see it all go. It really felt a final farewell to all of the cast and world we love… We got to see the return of various characters, including Fun Gus, of all people- Love the way his and Emilia’s arcs sort of tied together! And I love the symbolism of Emilia losing herself, as the idea of her becoming the very thing she swore to destroy… Those are great stories to me, haunting and chilling!

           LOVE how this year has been bringing us Gay Proms! First Grom, then Prahm! Prahm was great… I love Doag, though I feel sorry for her because of that NAME… But good for you Hoag, you’re a father and you let those paternal instincts override any fear, paranoia, and prejudice you may have had! Sure the warning didn’t come through in time, but at least you tried! Good for you…

           Also, I know Asher and Dahlia had a minimal presence, but I ENJOYED every last second of them we got, even as background characters! I loved the way the arc progressed, the stories behind Mutes and Humans getting along… It all felt so organic and natural, you know? And HUGO…!

           I’m not over his death. The worst part was that he DID redeem himself and fully change, so… It wasn’t like one of those Redemption-equals-Death cop outs! Hugo had already gotten his redemption. The crew really just wrote that for the sake of stomping on our hearts, huh? WELL THEY DID… Rest in peace, you funky mandrill! His arc was particularly brilliant and naturally-flowing, I love that final callback to his mess with Aurum… Hugo was just being that moody, temperamental older brother who’s a teen and insists he’s not going through a phase- But he loves his little sister and will humor her!

           I miss him already… And I LOVE his interactions with Wolf, as siblings by proxy of Kipo, but also their shared cynicism and trauma as I speculated about! Hugo making a blanket-cloak for Wolf, to replace the old one she had, which represented her trauma and past… I hadn’t even considered it, but it’s right! The way Hugo and Wolf’s arcs together to take out Emilia, only for Greta of all people to make a final point… It was amazing! Superb, brilliant, it was EXACTLY what I wanted to see and MORE! How we had this powerful and meaningful growth for the two of them as siblings in their own right, without necessarily having to rely on fighting… Just quiet moments!

           And Kipo… I love you Kipo! I was afraid the show might give us an arc of Kipo being ‘cured’ and having to struggle with no longer being part-mute, even if she were to eventually get that back… And they didn’t! They let Kipo be Kipo! I love her nature as a girl of two worlds, and how she brings both worlds together into one seamless creation! And her DNA gives me hope of a vaccine being made…

           I’m still sad over the deaths of Yumyan, Margot, Rupert, Camille, Brad, Billions, etc.! Remember the fallen… I was REALLY wishing the show would have them brought back to their old minds, and while still having them around in spirit sort of helped (as they were basically senile after the ‘cure’)… COME ON, this show has already been so bright and optimistic and hopeful in many other regards! Is it too much to ask that the ‘cure’ gets reverted, that they recover their old minds! It’s really messed up particularly with Margot and Rupert, as they were KIDS… Rupert was just being held hostage, and Margot DID make the effort to change her mind, just like Hoag she didn’t expect Emilia to be ahead of her! Maybe if we get that hypothetical sequel film with Wolf, MAYBE we could have Margot brought back… Or at least go over Wolf’s thoughts of Margot technically betraying her, but to save Rupert, and ultimately doing the right thing- Only to die! I wish we got to discuss that.

           Interesting that they never go about the origins of Mutes, but honestly… Not too important to me? The exact cause wasn’t a big deal to me, what matters is that it happened and now it’s here! Speaking of which, I LOVED the Dave episode… Controversial opinion, I think he’s a great character! I love how the show confirmed he was there as far back as THE beginning, and he was just… VIBING the entire time, over a fan! What DID happen to the fan, I wonder? Imagine if it got destroyed- Or even better, if it just ran out of battery! The implication that the fan somehow was able to run for two centuries, but still ran out of energy… Lol.

           THAT episode was a masterpiece of morbid humor, what with the idea of this one loser being THAT caught over a fan, Dave being responsible for skyscraper ridge… And that bit of Daves getting KILLED, but it’s never explained and then just sort of glossed over- It’s arguably amongst the pinnacle of morbid humor! The kind that just happens, and because it’s left unexplained it’s just BETTER, more horrifying, whilst funnier… And Benson! Like I said, the background, unspoken, but obvious implication that the Daves and Fanatics (is that what those humans called themselves?) slaughtered each other until one was left. YIKES… But it was still so brilliantly done and conveyed, it really is the epitome of dark humor to me!

           Benson got his kiss! He got his kiss with Troy! And now they’re running a restaurant together, Cappuccino gave them a SIX star review… But please don’t call them potato noodles. They’re fries. I can overlook anything, but NOT that! But now I crave that hypothetical sequel film that Radford Sechrist hinted at… Gimme gimme, please! Mostly I just want closure on those Mutes who got ‘cured’, I know it’s immature, but please bring them back!

           All in all, this was just… BRILLIANT! It was GOOD, and it makes me even sadder because I found myself so happy to see these characters progress, like with Zane, or Greta… Wolf letting go of her cloak, she’s so PRECIOUS I love her so much, and I love how Hugo was like an older brother to her and I miss him already! I love Kipo, I love Benson and Dave’s backstory, I love Troy, Asher, and Dahlia… I want MORE, please! I feel like I’m not yet ready to let go. And maybe I don’t necessarily have to, but still…

           And it’s absolutely wild to me, because this all happened within a year. It’s been a journey, huh? Once it was as simple as getting back to her old home… And while Kipo lost that, she made a new, better one! And I love that, but I’m also going to miss it- Because it feels that just as we got it back, we left! Well, I can always return in my own way, but for now…

           THANK YOU, to everyone who worked on this show! I’m going to miss Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts! It was utterly brilliant, and I’m glad you got to tell the story you wanted! Here’s hoping you get to indulge in the world of Kipo maybe one last, or two, times!

[varcn]

   in defense to varon: a long rant about dub vs. sub.

    i want to start this post by saying that throughout my time with varon as a muse ( over five or so years ago ), i’ve seen hate towards his character & a lot of it, are issues with the dub or issues that could be explained ( not justified ) by learning about his background ( which was omitted pretty much in the dub ). so, with this post, i want to address some of those issues ( which i also share ) & explain why i lean towards the sub.

     one of the major critiques i’ve seen about his character, is his entitlement to mai & i agree, but let me just say that this was mainly a problem in the dub.

   i will go on a bit of a tangent & say that yes, doma had many issues & many ‘ooc’ moments. there’s been a lot of frustration towards mai’s character regression, & while i understand that as an audience, it might be frustrating or disappointing, i like to see it through a more ‘realistic’ perspective. mai suffered a lot because of yami malik. she was shown with trauma ( possible ptsd or depression ), so to me, the fact that she went back to her old ways when she was alone isn’t entirely unrealistic. what i had a problem with, was how yugi & co. decided to react to this, completely dismissing her feelings & blaming it entirely on the orichalcos brainwashing her, which... yes & no. the orichalcos made her want to defeat jou because she wanted to move on, as it was clear that him not being there + envy had caused resentment towards him & the group. however, the resentment was already there. mai felt abandoned, left behind, etc. she wanted to be saved even though she wasn’t reaching out or saying she needed the help. emotions aren’t always rational, so even if she knew that they wouldn’t know unless she said something, that didn’t stop her from feeling some type of way towards them.

    valon is no different in the dub.

   first meeting / flashback

     when they meet, he makes promises of power & how he could grant her that. he always portrayed himself as mai’s saviour or knight in shining armour. he was entitled to her from the beginning because she ‘owed’ it to him. to me, it felt as if the dub was trying to mirror jou by dumbing him down ( jou is also dumbed down ), & make it seems like ‘look, they’re the same, just good vs bad! ). in the sub, however, i see it more as ‘varon is what jou could’ve become, had he not found yugi & co’.

     in the sub, mai breaks down because she’s alone, hurt & ‘needs to be saved’, because nothing she does ever feels as enough. varon starts by telling her that she’s a strong woman, despite losing to him & collapsing to her knees. he called her strong because she’s still trying, & doesn’t make her promises about giving her power, like in the dub. instead, he tells her ( perhaps a bit harsh, but true ) that no one will save her ( oh, the irony ) & that she needs to save herself. this alone, is a comment he makes from experience & shows how varon sees things. it’s him vs the world. he can’t rely on anyone else, & even shows some anger towards rafael when he tries to help.

    he’s a loner, like mai, & while what he said isn’t the best advice, it’s all he knows. in the end, he disproved his own advice because he saw how blinded mai was & the risks she was taking as consequence of it. he saw that no, she couldn’t do things alone in the state she was & he wanted her to rely on him.

    * this is also the first instance of varon showing any care / concern towards someone, as later on, he even tells mai he’s willing to go against doma / dartz for her sake. take that as you will.

       valon, the ‘r/niceguy’.

     another scene that comes to mind, it’s the conversation that they have in the desert. in the dub, valon goes on about how he can make things better for her, & when she tells him ‘i don’t like you’, he responds in a condescending tone about how he knows how she feels towards him. one of his main issues towards jou, both in dub & sub ( thought the sub emphasizes more on it ) is how dismissive him & the others are of mai’s feelings. the dub just shows how much of a hypocrite he is because he does just that. he tells her how she feels, despite being vulnerable. i’ve watched this scene in spanish & english & while the dialogue is pretty much the same, the only difference is that in the spanish version, he sounds more soft-spoken & ‘casual’. i guess the bad cockey accent didn’t help.

     as for the sub, varon tells mai how she feels, but not in the way that the dub portrays. i think we could elude the fact that between episodes, & even before the entire season, there has been interaction between mai & varon. at least, enough for varon to know about her resentment to jou & see some of mai’s pain. he describes how she’s been living her life based on his own experience, because he sees a lot of himself in her.

    varon tells her that he is just like that. that he can’t live if he can’t win, just like her. it doesn’t come off as him dictating how she feels or making assumptions, but rather, it’s coming from a place of understanding.

     & this is the scene where the confession comes up. i guess, the dub wanted to have this love triangle without saying it was a love triangle ( which i always found weird that they wanted to allude to this, considering the amount of censorship. somehow, it was okay for mai to be interested in a teenager? ).  it only goes as far as ‘i know you feel the same way i do’, & left for interpretation. the sub doesn’t do that. varon is always straight-forward with what he says & doesn’t shy away from it. sure, it’s not the most healthy for him to make her his reason of living, but keep in mind that he didn’t have the healthiest of upbringings, either. there’s a lot of things that he needs to learn & overcome before getting into a relationship. especially if it’s with someone who has unresolved issues, as well.

    he tells her to ‘be his woman’ ( & whether you want to take that as a display of toxic masculinity or him awkwardly asking her out in a way that doesn’t seem to ‘vulnerable’, it’s up to you ). mai merely responds with ‘you have to defeat me first’, only for him to remind her that he has.

    nyeh? nyeh

     another thing that the dub loves to do, is dumbing down characters, & varon wasn’t the exception. it was clear that they wanted someone like jou & in the process, they took a lot of those serious / deep moments that varon displayed in the sub. their duel further proves that by having them both wear armour & i will leave it at that because that whole thing gets me so mad lmao. it turns into a duel of ‘i know what’s best for mai despite what she says or thinks’ & even the abridged called it out, because varon came from a place of ‘i’m doing this to help her’ rather than ‘i know what’s best for her’.

 thank you 4kids for your censorship!

      something you can’t just omit when considering varon’s character, is the way he grew up. the dub literally took about 90% of it & had him seeming almost proud / reminiscent about his time in jail. that’s it. we see him go to an island, win against a bunch of grown-ups & join doma. then what???

     now, if one thats the sub backstory in consideration, the way that he acts towards mai isn’t all that strange. in fact, i’d say it explains it. varon had nothing. he grew up an orphan, & a violent one, at that. the only person he appears close to / someone he cares about, is the nun that raised him. she tended to his wounds despite disappointing her & getting into fights even though she had told him to stop. this was someone who hadn’t given up despite him failing her over & over. this was someone he was willing to kill for, if it meant protecting her, & he possibly did. after the church was burnt down, he sought for the men he thought were responsible for it & attacked them with a metal pipe.

   he was just a kid. possibly a pre-teen against four grown ass men. it’s unclear whether he killed them or not, but the fact that varon is shown in prison, with adults, leads me to think that he was processed as one due to the degree of the crime. even then, he was still violent & forced into solitary confinement + a straight jacket for who knows how long. & let’s keep in mind that his only way out, was by defeating a bunch of dudes ( basically killing them with the orichalcos ). unlike amelda or rafael, doma wasn’t an escape from his life. it was his freedom.

      the guy had nothing & expected nothing. he lived each day as it was, reason why he appears to be so carefree about things. & despite his similarities with jou, let me just say that they’re still not the same. even if jounouchi went through his share of trauma, their experiences were different. the way jou sees or reacts to something, won’t be the way that varon will react to it, & i feel that’s something a lot of people don’t consider.

    i think it’s commemorable that despite everything, varon still manages to care for someone as much as he does with mai. he didn’t fight jou to ‘win her over’, he fought him so that he wasn’t setting her back. the dub has valon almost ‘handing her’ to jou after losing, which completely missed the point of that whole duel. because in the sub, varon realizes he may be doing more harm than good & experiences that ‘thrill’ that he had been searching for. he comes to understand mai better, & the fact that he can help her without having to be her saviour.

    he trusts jou will bring her to her senses, but also trusts that she will do it, because let me remind you that even in during her ‘weakest moment’, he saw her as a strong woman.

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Higurashi Sotsu Ep1 and 2

After what’s felt like an eternity, we’re finally back to our good old fashioned anime about trauma and murder :)

Like with my posts about Gou, this will contain spoilers for all of the original series.

Anyway, thoughts under the cut.

Continuing on from how the second half of Gou went back in time to show Satoko’s descent into villainy, Sotsu is starting off by going back to Onidamashi and showing what was happening from Rena’s point of view, as a way of basically doing it’s own version of the answer arcs from the VN.

This isn’t 100% the same as either Onikakushi or Tsumihoroboshi, but effectively these two episodes were still almost entirely taken from material in the VN, which reminds me of how I still think that this show is more of a reboot than people would like to admit. Even if in practice it’s probably still better to just read the VN first and then watch all of this. I just feel like a lot of VN readers are going to end up kinda bored with this because of how much of it is just retreading stuff from the VN, like with the first half of Gou.

Anyway, I’m entirely on board with this being a new take on the answer arcs, and thus far I think the execution has been done really well. Rena ended up getting kinda sidelined in Gou, so I like how they’re really focusing on her perspective in this. It’s obviously not quite as in-depth as the VN, especially if this arc is just going to be one more episode long, but like with Gou I think they’re doing a great job of getting across the characterization and development without many internal monologues or anything.

Although this ended up basically playing out the same way as Rena killing Rina in Tsumihoroboshi, it turns out that this version of Rina has gone through the same sort of character development as Teppei did, and now she’s way more sympathetic than she was in the VN, with her wanting to cut ties with Rena’s father out of sympathy instead of just being out to extort all of his money no matter what. The way that this new series has been going about ‘redeeming’ it’s more evil characters has been kinda polarizing with people, but I think it worked out really well here. Partly because they don’t really spell out whether or not Rina has gone through the same process as Teppei with getting traumatized by nightmares of previous loops, and we just see her being a more sympathetic person instead. I think it also makes Rena’s actions here even more tragic, since in this timeline Rina would have left them alone if she’d done nothing, and by the time she found out about that she was already past the point of no return. It doesn’t exactly erase or make up for all of the shit that had already happened between Rina and Rena’s dad, though. It still makes sense why Rena ended up snapping like she did.

Which gets into the whole topic of Satoko injecting her with the syringe, which basically sealed the deal on Rena irreversibly going insane in this arc. In practice she ended up just going down the same path that she already did in Tsumihoroboshi without needing to be injected with anything, but it still raises the possibility that she might have been more willing to abandon her plans if she hadn’t been injected.

Sorta like how the VN was already about the inherent tragedy of how in a perfect world none of these things should have happened and nobody should have resorted to murder, this adds an extra layer of dramatic irony with how Satoko’s looping has caused a situation where the external forces triggering people’s insanity have been slowly going away, but because she’s so intent on keeping Rika in the village by mentally breaking her through continued tragedy, she’s having to go out of her way to force all these things to happen, when otherwise all of these loops might have ended up being ‘perfect’ if she’d just left it alone.

And just for the record, a lot of people seem confused by it, but I think Gou already made it clear enough why Satoko is trying to convince Rika to stay in the village by subjecting her to repeated torture. From a meta perspective, it’s all just about setting up the premise of Rika going through the original arcs again so we can have a part-sequel/part-reboot, but in general her whole plan with this seems to be to traumatize Rika enough that she’ll accept the idea that she’s being punished by Oyashiro-sama for wanting to leave the village. Obviously it’s a pretty extreme and convoluted way to try and convince her to stay, but Satokowashi went to great lengths to show how Satoko tried basically everything else she could think of to stop her without resorting to violence.

And yes, the point of ‘she should be able to just talk to Rika directly and work things out that way’ is an intentional part of the whole tragedy of the situation, lol. If this was a story where people were willing to calmly open up about all of their problems and achieve peaceful resolutions, basically none of this entire story would have happened. And honestly, at least on an abstract level, I can totally relate to that feeling of being willing to do literally anything instead of just talking to people openly, no matter how much extra time and effort it takes.

I also just don’t even think that ‘just talking about it’ would even be enough. Partly because Rika is really dead-set on leaving the village and would prefer to take Satoko with her instead of staying in the village just for her sake [which is the entire premise of what happened in Satokowashi], but also partly because in the long run this is more about Satoko’s personal trauma and her inability to accept leaving her childhood behind. No matter what she does, she’d have to eventually contend with the idea of her friends moving on in their lives, or the village itself changing.

She doesn’t just want Rika to stay with her, she wants to keep everything the same forever because this is where she feels safe and in control. And that’s just not something that you can actually achieve without, well, the ability to loop through time, lol. That’s also why I don’t really think it’s ‘unreasonable’ that Satoko was so willing to sit through Rika’s loops, and to enact her own loops. The looping isn’t just something she has to put up with to achieve her goal, it IS her goal. She isn’t exactly aware of it since she’s so focused on the point of keeping Rika with her forever, but what she wants is to keep repeating this time period forever, and that’s what she’s doing. 

Funnily enough I wasn’t really onboard with the idea of Satoko being the villain for most of Gou, but I guess by this point I’m a Satoko apologist, lmao. I just think her whole character arc makes a lot of sense, with her doing everything she can to cling onto the present and avoid the future, but obviously I also get why people think she’s irredeemable.

Either way, I’m kinda curious to see how the next episode goes, since it seems like there’s just going to be one more episode to this arc. It feels like there’s a lot still left to be covered, but maybe I’m over-estimating it. I think they still have to cover the flashbacks with Rena after she moved, her getting more paranoid about Keiichi until finally killing him, and then whatever happened with Rika and Satoko at the end of the arc, so hopefully that’ll fit nicely into one more episode.

I’m still curious to see what happens when we see Rena’s perspective on her fight with Keiichi, though, since there’s been so much speculation about it partly being a hallucination from Keiichi as he rapidly descended into L5 when Rena attacked him. There’s also still the possibility that they’ll reveal that this is an entirely separate timeline to Onidamashi, but I think that’d be a bit convoluted for no good reason. It’s be enough of a twist to just show that the fight scene went differently to how it was originally presented.

Other than that, I think that Rika probably ended up killing herself in despair at the end of this arc, and Satoko kills herself to jump to the next loop. I think that’ll all be pretty straightforward, but hopefully it’ll lead to an epilogue scene with Satoko and Eua.

After this, I guess the next three episodes will be the answer arc for Watadamashi, going by the Sotsu blu-rays being split into sets of 3, 3, 5, and 4 episodes. Unlike how this arc was very straightforward and predictable for people who’ve read the VN, I’m really excited to see what happens in the next arc, since Watadamashi was kinda confusing in a lot of ways, even after we found out about the Satoko stuff. But we’ll get to that when the time comes.

The third arc should then be an answer arc for Tataridamashi, but it’ll be interesting to see if they fit in Satoko’s perspective of Nekodamashi there as well, or if they push that to the final arc, or if the Nekodamashi arc will overlap both arcs. Either way, the fourth and final [unless they reveal more episodes or even another season later] arc will probably then continue on from the end of Nekodamashi and show however things manage to wrap up after that point. It’s really hard to tell how much time they’ll actually need after that to wrap things up, though, which is why I’m not sure if they’ll actually be able to finish things in these 15 episodes, or if we might get more later. Unless we get some major curve balls, I don’t really think it’d be that hard to wrap things up that quickly, but we’ll see.

Anyway, Sotsu is off to a great start, and I’m excited to see where it’s going to go, but mostly at the moment I’m just relieved that the last four months of my life are over now, and I can go back to live-blogging about anime where kids murder each other, lmao.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Weird q..but i really dont understand why most fans hate season 4, especially the last episode. Why? I think it gave us a deeper look on both sherlock and mycroft! I felt it tells a lot about mycroft how he had to step in and take control of things ever since he was a kid himself. Also he is not a robot or a killer. Also redbeard thing. It was an appropriate deep psychological trauma (cause most shows usually disappoint in that area). I am not trying to impose my opinion. Just want to understand

Hey Nonny!

It’s all good, and I totally respect your opinion and how you enjoyed S4! It’s totally okay! I know that there are quite a few who got a lot of of S4, and who genuinely enjoyed it.

Sadly, I am not one of those people, and I’ll try to be as diplomatic a possible in my response, but PLEASE know that I don’t think you’re “terrible” or “stupid” for liking S4 because I DO get passionate sometimes in my responses, and I’m just merely speaking as someone who studied the series very closely for quite a long time before S4 aired, and as someone who knows Day-One-ers (ie., people who watched Sherlock on its day one airdate) who also are a large majority of the people who did not like S4. This is just me simply stating why I didn’t like it, but it’s different for everyone.

Stating what I DO like: The acting and cinematography of the first two episodes were brilliant for what they had to work with, and I’ve never faulted any of the actors for the flaws of S4. And for TFP, they did the best with what they had to work with.

That’s… pretty much all I really liked about S4.

Now, here’s my problems with S4:

Nothing made a LICK of sense to the narrative that they were telling in Seasons prior. 

This series was always based a bit in reality, and suddenly everything became comic-book rules: X-Men villains, shitty “redemption” arc, destroying favourite characters just for drama, ludicrous physics, explosions that only destroyed one small room in an apt where in previous episodes one explosion destroyed an entire block, etc.

Sherlock was OOC.

Mary was being built up to be a fantastic villain? Ah, nope, here’s the lacklustre twist where tee hee Mary’s just an assassin with a heart of gold that still emotionally abuses Sherlock and John and just won’t fucking stay dead.

And speaking of this, the DVD’s make NO LOGICAL SENSE unless she was planning to kill herself

AND she tries to make her death equatable to Sherlock’s??

Everyone was RIDICULOUSLY out of character in TFP, I’m so sorry: Mycroft is a bumbling coward for the most part, Sherlock disregards John when he gives the Vatican Cameos warning, the Holmes Parents are assholes because Mycroft COULDN’T SOLVE A PROBLEM WHEN HE WAS 12?? ARE YOU SERIOUS???? And that creepy Moriarty / Eurus thing, and LITERALLY they’re implying that EVERYTHING HAPPENED BECAUSE EURUS DIDN’T GET A HUG. Like, I’m so sorry, but that’s lazy writing.

And don’t even get me started on the ridiculousness of the entire character of Eurus. She LITERALLY had X-Men powers, and like… just nothing made sense. Her involvement in the entirety of S4 MADE NO SENSE. Why go back to prison if you can get out?? WHAT IS THE POINT?? AND I repeat: She did all this because she didn’t get a hug. Yes. I’m oversimplifying, but at the base level, that’s what it was, because she wanted Sherlock’s attention. Welcome to the club, kid, stand in line, everyone on the SHOW wants his attention.

The ENTIRE plot of the first 2 seasons got wiped out all because it wasn’t Moriarty who was interested in Sherlock, but Eurus?? What… What about Carl Powers?? Like…. the ENTIRETY of season one and TGG makes no sense now, because of that one 5 minute scene where Eurus “enlists” Moriarty. I… ugh.

The SUDDEN tonal switch from kind-of Sherlock to James Bond, for some fucking reason.

And on that note, how terribly lazy and cheap TFP looks in comparison to the other two episodes. The whole episode looks like it was filmed in a small house with 4 identical rooms.

EVERYTHING that was etablished in 2 episodes prior were COMPLETELY forgotten when Mary was “shot”.

The complete character assassination of one loyal blogger John H Watson in favour of Mary for some fucked up reason, even though AT HIS OWN WEDDING HE COULDN’T STAND BEING AROUND MARY. I’m sorry, but I don’t believe for one damned second that John would EVER forgive Mary for murdering his best friend after seeing what it did to him. That’s not love from her, and that’s NOT John’s character EVER in the ENTIRETY of the series.

And speaking of character assassinations, Molly’s character being devolved to S1E1 Molly, where instead of giving her agency like they were doing with her the ENTIRE series, so much so that Sherlock picked up on her dominance enough to give her a big role in his mind palace in HLV and TAB, only to make her a sad little self-insert Mary Sue pining for the main character, and in turn made Sherlock a TERRIBLE human being for MAKING HER say what she did. It’s gross.

AND speaking of Molly’s character, they’ve been setting up Mollstrade since as early as ASiB, but I guess that plot line got shafted. Look I LOVE Hopkins, and I am ANGRY they didn’t give her more than 3 fucking lines in the entirety of ONE episode after HEAVILY promoting her actress and character, but they essentially reduced her to a piece of ass for Lestrade to chase. AND THAT’S NOT HIS CHARACTER EITHER. EW GROSS.

The constant plot holes being gaped wide open, and the Chekov’s gun moments where they bring up shit but do nothing with it!! 

TD-12? Nope, just a lame reference to a story we like. 

John got shot at the end of TLD with a VERY REAL FUCKING GUN? Nope, it was a dart gun. 

John not suddenly knowing how to be a doctor.

The TGG one I mentioned up above. 

What was in the letter? And who was Anyone??

Moriarty essentially being erased as anything other than a hired thug and had no part whatsoever in Sherlock’s history. 

Eurus… Just all of her character is asinine. 

Everyone in T6T suddenly not knowing John’s the blogger, which is in direct contradiction to literally the entire series. 

The AGRA plotline was ridiculous, in the end.

Baby? What baby? It was only there when convenient.

They dropped whatever plotline they were going to do for Mycroft: He was being set up as either dying, or the villain.

Redbeard. I’m sorry, I disagree with you on that. Mofftiss is trying to tell me that a little boy fell down a well and went missing, and that WASN’T the first place searchers / the police wouldn’t have looked? Sorry, no. And then. AND THEN his parents just… go along with this thing where Sherlock shuts down and they DON’T get him therapy? Yes, I agree the mind is a funny thing, and we can be traumatised into forgetting or dissociating from traumatic events. I GET IT. But… like I don’t believe the Holmes are so heartless as to just never grieve or have memories around about their supposedly dead daughter. It’s another OCC thing for me.

John’s cheating.

Disappearing and reappearing characters, like this scene, and the entirety of the aquarium scene.

Mary and John being terrible parents

OH GOD THIS FUCKING SCENE. That bomb SHOULD HAVE DESTROYED THE ENTIRE BUILDING.

What… who was this girl on the plane? What? Like I know WHO, but if she’s supposed to be Eurus talking to Sherlock, why don’t we see Eurus… talking to Sherlock? I … Ugh.

NORBURY. 

The glass SUPER SECRET GOVERNMENT ROOM THAT NO ONE SHOULD SEE INTO in T6T.

Sloppy camera work that some believe was intentional, but if it wasn’t, jesus c’mon.

The RIDICULOUS amount of 4th Wall Breaking. Like… even the actors didn’t give a shit.

Essentially, everything on this list here and in this blog tag here.

And everything mentioned on these three posts:

T6T: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night 

TLD: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night

TFP: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night

There’s SO much more I can go into, but please go through my “something’s fucky” tag in that last link.

Notice how probably 90% of that has NOTHING to do with “johnlock not becoming canon” because the Johnlockers get MONSTROUS accusations as to THAT being why we didn’t like S4, even though it was, like critically panned by the GENERAL AUDIENCE who have NO investment in the series other than “I liked it in the past”.

Two of my fave YouTubers have interesting (not perfect, but still good) takes coming at the series as casual viewers:

‘The Day Sherlock Died’ by The Closer Look

‘Sherlock is Garbage, and Here’s Why’ by hbomberguy

So it’s NOT just Johnlockers. I’ve talked to Sher1011ies at 221B con who didn’t like S4 either, because most of them realized how shitty Molly was treated in the last episode. So yeah, a big middle finger to those who think I dislike S4 because of  “no Johnlock”. No, I disliked it because I need my stories to make logical narrative sense. I disliked it because I love John and they ruined his character all for the sake of drama and because Moffat has a “hurting Ben” kink. I disliked it because Mary should NOT have been “redeemed” because she was an abuser. I disliked it because Moriarty was turned into a cartoon villain, even though he was already overused in the series. I disliked it because the core of the show – the FRIENDSHIP of Sherlock and John, and their solving mysteries together – did not exist at all. I disliked it because John got sidelined. I disliked it because TFP was a ridiculous episode that, if you replace ANY of the characters, it wouldn’t make a difference, because it didn’t feel like an episode of Sherlock. I disliked it because everyone was OOC.

Anyway. Sorry. One too many accusations my way over the past 1100+ days LOL.

As for your assessment of TFP, I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with you. There was no growth and actually it implies something far more sinister: That the Holmes are and were terrible parents that gave no shits about their daughter, their traumatized son, and expected their eldest to essentially be a parent. It implies that Mycroft, at 12 years old, orchestrated the ENTIRE Sherrinford thing… Look I can suspend my disbelief, but there’s limits, and this is one of them. A LITERAL CHILD. Perhaps Uncle Rudy had a hand in it somehow, but then why not shit on Uncle Rudy? Why is Mycroft blamed for it all?

Look, I don’t doubt Sherlock had a traumatic experience regarding “Redbeard”. But then why play into the fact that he was a dog? Why bring another character into the series just to have a gotcha moment? Because Mofftiss wanted a “Shyamalan twist”, that’s why. They threw EVERYTHING away for a twist ending either because they GENUINELY thought it was good, or they got tired of doing Sherlock. ALL of TFP is LITERALLY a really bad plot twist because reasons. TFP makes no sense to the ENTIRE narrative structure of the previous 12 episodes. It erased EVERYTHING from the previous episodes, and coated it with a gross closing by a character no one wanted in the series, and then tried to convince us that it’s a new beginning – “a journey they had to go through” – but it SOLVED NOTHING.

Anyway. I have big feels about S4, and the only way I can enjoy it is to watch it subtextually, but even then, I cannot sit through TFP without cringing. 

That said, Lovelies, please do not attack Nonny for enjoying S4! I know you guys won’t, but Nonny came out with an olive branch and they just want to understand why the fandom is passionate about S4′s… whatever it was. We can have a civil discussion about it, and point out – without attacking – why S4 is universally panned. It’s okay to like things no one else does, and Nonny was respectful to me in this ask! 

So with that, feel free, lovelies, to express why YOU didn’t enjoy the series, or why you did! I’m interested in both “sides” / pov’s whatever :)

[mc-critical]

Pertaining to MYK2, it’s an observation of mine that as Kösem got older she grew more bitter, more angry, and felt overall more resentment towards the overall Ottoman lifestyle and dynasty which was a mere glorified prison for her. I would even go as far to say that her actions toward her children later in life were possibly due to her seeing them as an extension of her trauma and imprisonment in a way? I believe she only clung to power and titles the way she did because she truly believed it would be all she could have going for her and the only thing that could get her to be afforded basic human decency on some level in the enviornment she was trapped in. I especially see it towards the end when she has plans to dethrone her grandson and remarks “when one grandson goes the other comes” and you can see how she’s just..gone. There’s no longer a shred of resemblance to the innocent and life-loving Anastasia. She completely internalized the hatred and the death that surrounded her and became it..I’d even call it a cinematic parallel to Saifye. What do you think?

Overall, I think you hit the nail right on the head.

The loss of innocence is the central theme of the show: we consistently see how it begins to flourish, all the little hints, all the big actions, and Kösem, being the protagonist, will of course be the epitome of it all. It's a given that everything she has experienced would lead to trauma sooner or later, a trauma that really brings hatred, bitterness and then again, misery, because when you look at it, she couldn't take a break even for a second. To me, Safiye killing her father, was namely where it began - Kösem, just like Hürrem, had to completely let go of her past to begin this new life, but unlike her, this character arc was quick and rushed and harder, and she didn't get the fullest time necessary to do it in narrative, for her to actually get used to it. Her past is quite a part of her innocence, of her previous being, and when people (like Safiye and Raihan Aga) tell her to forget about it, she resists so much more, because there is hope that things would be just like before. Say, Hürrem adapted so quickly and so efficiently, because there was a lot to win, but nothing to lose - everyone she knew was perceived as dead, she had nowhere to go, it was lost and it was gone and she had to move forward. (Nigar's advice and the dream with her parents highlight that.) And when Leo appeared, Hürrem had already adapted, already planted seeds in this empire and had found the man she truly loved. Anastasia not only didn't have this chance, she still had nothing to do out there, knowing she could return to her family once again (they didn't kill anyone when they kidnapped her, remember?), was fond of Ahmet, but that was it, and didn't have any heirs yet. What would she do there, why would she forget her home, especially when there was a person just as eager as her to return to his roots (Iskender), and we had someone who was the narrative culmination of her hope to put everything back to normal (her father)? I feel that her refusal to Iskender to escape with him was only an intentionally forced tool for her and Iskender's character arcs, she stayed only out of necessity back then and one could say that, she probably never truly adapted. When her father died, was just when she realized there is no turning back now.

When she symbolically became Kösem, she had fought many fights in her life: she fought because she wanted justice (her exposing Fahriye and Dervish/Handan), because she wanted revenge (against Safiye), she fought for her life. (post-E25 and season 2.) But she did it out of necessity, all the roles she had to take she took out of necessity, she represented the country, acted as a regent even when Murat took that away from her.. only out of sheer necessity. That's what she did in episode 7, she stood up to all these people in need, and when she did that, she was suddenly regarded as a hero, as this blessed angel who saved everyone and could do no wrong, but she obviously couldn't stay so. She perhaps could've gained some kind of a savior complex, to have something to protect out of obligation. And that something had to be connected with her "first act" and with her whole arc in season 1 - that is, the country. She took her whole life to represent the country and protect it. ("The country you talk about wouldn't exist, if it weren't for me!") It turned into the very meaning of her life, she merged herself with it and she had to fight for it. The fights she had throughout the entire show were very exhausting, draining everything out of her, because there were countless times where it was all about to be over. She had to face enemies much stronger, much sneakier and much more experienced than she herself was, and she knew very well that they wouldn't hesitate even for a moment to do what they had to do. They were brutal and they were ruthless, all of them. And they were against this very thing she cherished, the very power she equated to the country. She spent her whole life to fight and protect it, turning her heart into iron and stone, automatically realizing every threat and striving to remove it, no matter what it takes. That goes into her conflict with Murat and into the rest of her children (by that I mean Ibrahim), as well, once she feels they are a threat, she began removing them. But this isn't a facade that can be kept so easily, this isn't some worthy life, so it all bottles up inside of her eventually and she has no time to let it out, because this period, her life, is just so dynamic. All her enemies were tough and persistent, making something happen almost every other day, the revolts, the parental conflicts, the attempts, the traps, the intrigues, the backstabbing... All that including her daily duties and all the meetings she has to attend to to keep things running smoothly. It all takes a toll on her, and it's understandable why when everything falls apart, she just doesn't care. She took the very last strip of her innocence, her humanity, with sealing the pact to kill Ibrahim. And guess what? She did this only for the country, she did this because someone pushed that weakness, that pressure point of hers. All she fought for was doomed the second Murat took things into his own hands, and she realized it. By Murat's death, it was now or never, because the harder she fights for this position of hers, she loses what made her so remarkably human in the first place. It's going hand to hand, really.

There is a point to be made about the parallels S02 Kösem had with Safiye, because while their arcs hit many of the same notes, they divert from one another in quite a bit of ways. Safiye was everything Kösem fought against - she made the darker side of S01 Kösem what it was, because taking revenge on Safiye, what she took away from her, was the primary "shadier" motivator of her character then. Azis Mahmud Hüdai (I hope I'm writing his name right) even warned her to the dangers of power and the similarities with Safiye that slowly grew in her. And there is some irony in this, because Safiye also played her part in the tragic Osman storyline by manipulating him from the get-go that Kösem could act against him because she wasn't his real mother. And the guy she sent to manipulate him was there for a long time. What I mean to say is, Kösem and Safiye had that fight going until the very end, and Safiye openly gave her the thematic ring (тм), perhaps due to the similarities they share. Safiye had this desire for neverending power, she never gave up, even when all odds were against her. She became used to it after so many years and it as well became what defined her. On the surface, the same could be said for Kösem, as well. Both of them did the unthinkable to keep this prestige and these titles. Both loved their power, but in different ways: Safiye wanted power for the sake of power, she loved the very concept of it, to wake up in the castle, to prepare for the day, to issue orders and to eclipse everyone, for Safiye it wasn't something morally right, it was about her and her only. She would lose her life, but never her power. It was already something she had always had and losing it would mean they took something that was rightfully hers, without debate. Kösem had this power for the country she felt obliged to protect, to the point power and country became synonymous to her, whatever she did was for the country, but in her eyes, it was the right thing, for the state to live, for the people to be safe and sound, for everyone to have a tranquil life without imbalance. (in E47 we had this parallel act to E07, where she once again, stood up in front of the people, to calm them down after Murat's unexpected disappearance; we have her show Kasım to the people in E53? etc.) And she would lose her life, as well as her power. (the narrative delivered its own symbolic meaning with her death.) She thought it should be all hers for a long time, but not by right, rather through all she had achieved in her life. At the end, she realized this loss, and accepted it, symbolically giving the thematic ring to nobody, while Safiye did in her death after all, thematically continuing the cycle herself. She no longer gave a damn about the world and all she wanted was to die in piece.

There is also another key difference between Safiye and Kösem - Safiye kept her power through cunning and manipulation from the very beggining, while Kösem consistently reached out: to the people, to the Janissary, to Murat even. Safiye thought they misunderstood her, that you couldn't win this war by peace, while Kösem often tried to find the optimal, peaceable solution - she killed only as a last resort, only when she found out nothing else worked, it took her a whole season-long arc to realize that Murat wasn't worth it (and even in E60, it was hard for her to kill Ibrahim and it all had to come to Turhan's manipulation). Safiye, just like Gülbahar, who was the main enemy to S02 Kösem for a reason, had buried her conscience deep within, while Kösem, even with all she's done, still had the reflection of Anastasia in the mirror and in her head, no matter how much she tried to shut her up. ("Admit it, you liked having power!" - quoting by pure memory here.)

Thing is, what Kösem experienced, truly shaped up who she was, and just like so many, internalized that toxic way of living to a huge extent. And no matter how hard she tried to fight with it, she let it sink in and fully embraced it. And when she finally got out of it, what was done was done, and destruction ensued. But she probably found piece in her death, getting rid of this burden, plaguing her whole life.