#it's exhausting trying to prepare myself for her criticism and unsolicited opinions

[compulsiveobsessing]

realized very suddenly the other day that my mother is trying so hard to hold on to her idealized version of me, which is. me as a child

not that i didnt already know she wasn't happy with me changing (i.e. growing up/coming into myself), but it hadn't felt like such a slap in the face before

she used to push me to grow out my bangs. i had them from childhood to about age 21. they changed slightly over that time but i never grew them out. until i did, and i now have curtain bangs framing my face. i happen to like that. apparently my mother decided she does not and suggested quite seriously that i get straight bangs again

she also asked if, when i get new glasses, ill get some colorful ones "like you had in third grade"

like damn dude i know you hate the way i dress and you hate it when i dont wear jewelry or makeup and you probably know im queer but are in denial but my fuckin glasses?? you're gonna make my glasses into a thing now too??

like ive considered coming out so many times but if the fact that i no longer have straight bangs and the same glasses i had when i was 8 is now a point of contention as well then there is no way you will accept my queer identity

[electronicneutrino]

i mean i’ve actually looked at a ton of diagnostic criteria but this this one gives specific points/actions/feelings just kinda bolds ones i feel and italics ones when younger/pretty sure but not completely

from here 

Check off all areas that strongly apply to the person. If each area has 75%-80% of the statements checked, or more, then you may want to consider that the female may have Asperger’s Syndrome.

Section A: Deep Thinkers

1. A deep thinker

2. A prolific writer drawn to poetry

3. Highly intelligent

4. Sees things at multiple levels including thinking processes.

5. Analyzes existence, the meaning of life, and everything continually. [ continuously asks questions. even when tired. especially when tired ] 

6. Serious and matter-of-fact in nature.

7. Doesn’t take things for granted.

8. Doesn’t simplify.

9. Everything is complex.

10. Often gets lost in own thoughts and “checks out.” (blank stare)

Section B: Innocent

1. Naïve

2. Honest [ I mean if you ask ‘what do you think of ___’ i’d be honest but if there’s a practical purpose eg. avoiding getting into trouble/some tiresome outcome, I’d lie] 

3. Experiences trouble with lying. [I can lie just fine with a script but otherwise. ehhh] 

4. Finds it difficult to understand manipulation and disloyalty. 

5. Finds it difficult to understand vindictive behavior and retaliation.

6. Easily fooled and conned.

7. Feelings of confusion and being overwhelmed

8. Feelings of being misplaced and/or from another planet

9. Feelings of isolation

10. Abused or taken advantage of as a child but didn’t think to tell anyone.

Section C: Escape and Friendship

1. Survives overwhelming emotions and senses by escaping in thought or action.

2. Escapes regularly through fixations, obsessions, and over-interest in subjects.

3. Escapes routinely through imagination, fantasy, and daydreaming.

4. Escapes through mental processing.

5. Escapes through the rhythm of words.

6. Philosophizes continually.

7. Had imaginary friends in youth.

8. Imitates people on television or in movies.

9. Treated friends as “pawns” in youth, e.g., friends were “students,” “consumers,” “soldiers.”

10. Makes friends with older or younger females.

11. Imitates friends or peers in style, dress, and manner.

12. Obsessively collects and organizes objects. [ mostly just digital stuff though, but I do like organizing books] 

13. Mastered imitation.

14. Escapes by playing the same music over and over.

15. Escapes through a relationship (imagined or real).

16. Numbers bring ease.

17. Escapes through counting, categorizing, organizing, rearranging.

18. Escapes into other rooms at parties.

19. Cannot relax or rest without many thoughts.

20. Everything has a purpose.

Section D: Comorbid Attributes

1. OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

2. Sensory Issues (sight, sound, texture, smells, taste)

3. Generalized Anxiety [ when I was in elementary school I had a near constant fear of my house burning down]

4. Sense of pending danger or doom [ again esp when younger] 

5. Feelings of polar extremes (depressed/over-joyed; inconsiderate/over-sensitive)

6. Poor muscle tone, double-jointed, and/or lack in coordination

7. Eating disorders, food obsessions, and/or worry about what is eaten. [ idk if it really conts though but esp when younger ‘what is that black thing in my rice. is it a fly. or just pepper. can i eat it’] 

8. Irritable bowel and/or intestinal issues [ I keep getting stomache aches esp when younger idk why] 

9. Chronic fatigue and/or immune challenges

10. Misdiagnosed or diagnosed with other mental illness and/or labeled hypochondriac.

11. Questions place in the world.

12. Often drops small objects

13. Wonders who she is and what is expected of her.

14. Searches for right and wrong.

15. Since puberty, has had bouts of depression. 

16. Flicks/rubs fingernails, flaps hands, rubs hands together, tucks hands under or between legs, keeps closed fists, and/or clears throat often.

Section E: Social Interaction

1. Friends have ended friendship suddenly and without person understanding why. [ somehow said something offensive in gr 8 and even now I sTILL don’t know what I said wrong I just meant ‘hey do what you want’???] 

2. Tendency to over-share.

3. Spills intimate details to strangers. [ does posting on tumblr count ] 

4. Raised hand too much in class or didn’t participate in class. [ raised hand for everything I knew esp in elementary school] 

5. Little impulse control with speaking when younger.

6. Monopolizes conversation at times. 

7. Bring subject back to self. [ esp when younger, now it’s ask others lots of questions to avoid seeming self centered] 

8. Comes across at times as narcissistic and controlling. (Is not narcissistic.) [ idk though but I don’t think so? ] 

9. Shares in order to reach out.

10. Sounds eager and over-zealous at times. [ may be? idk ] 

11. Holds a lot of thoughts, ideas, and feelings inside.

12. Feels as if she is attempting to communicate “correctly.”

13. Obsesses about the potentiality of a relationship with someone, particularly a love interest.

14. Confused by the rules of accurate eye contact, tone of voice, proximity of body, stance, and posture in conversation.

15. Conversation can be exhausting.

16. Questions the actions and behaviors of self and others, continually.

17. Feels as if missing a conversation “gene” or thought-“filter”

18. Trained self in social interactions through readings and studying of other people.

19. Visualizes and practices how she will act around others.

20. Practices in mind what she will say to another before entering the room.

21. Difficulty filtering out background noise when talking to others.

22. Has a continuous dialogue in mind that tells her what to say and how to act when in a social situations.

23. Sense of humor sometimes seems quirky, odd, or different from others. [ i think usually I just laugh to myself when I think up something funny that I expect not funny to others. I have this reoccuring joke to myself that I should read a book on social ettiquette. It’s funny bc it’s something I would actually do. ] 

24. As a child, it was hard to know when it was her turn to talk. [ idk but I think??? ]

25. She finds norms of conversation confusing.

Section F: Finds Refuge when Alone

1. Feels extreme relief when she doesn’t have to go anywhere, talk to anyone, answer calls, or leave the house.

2. One visitor at the home may be perceived as a threat.

3. Knowing logically a house visitor is not a threat, doesn’t relieve the anxiety.

4. Feelings of dread about upcoming events and appointments on the calendar.

5. Knowing she has to leave the house causes anxiety from the moment she wakes up.

6. All the steps involved in leaving the house are overwhelming and exhausting to think about.

7. She prepares herself mentally for outings, excursions, meetings, and appointments.

8. Question next steps and movements continually.

9. Telling self the “right” words and/or positive self-talk doesn’t often alleviate anxiety.

10. Knowing she is staying home all day brings great peace of mind.

11. Requires a large amount of down time or alone time.

12. Feels guilty after spending a lot of time on a special interest.

13. Uncomfortable in public locker rooms, bathrooms, and/or dressing rooms.

14. Dislikes being in a crowded mall, crowded gym, or crowded theater.

Section G: Sensitive

1. Sensitive to sounds, textures, temperature, and/or smells when trying to sleep.

2. Adjusts bedclothes, bedding, and/or environment in an attempt to find comfort. [ cOULD NEVER FALL ASLEEP BC OF THAT ESP WHEN YOUNGER. IT SUCKED. ] 

3. Dreams are anxiety-ridden, vivid, complex, and/or precognitive in nature.

4. Highly intuitive to others’ feelings. [???] 

5. Takes criticism to heart. [ i mean I really really try not to now though ] 

6. Longs to be seen, heard, and understood.

7. Questions if she is a “normal” person.

8. Highly susceptible to outsiders’ viewpoints and opinions.

9. At times adapts her view of life or actions based on others’ opinions or words.

10. Recognizes own limitations in many areas daily.

11. Becomes hurt when others question or doubt her work. [ less so now] 

12. Views many things as an extension of self.

13. Fears others opinions, criticism, and judgment. [ less so now ] 

14. Dislikes words and events that hurt animals and people.

15. Collects or rescues animals. (often in childhood)

16. Huge compassion for suffering.

17. Sensitive to substances. (environmental toxins, foods, alcohol, etc.)

18. Tries to help, offers unsolicited advice, or formalizes plans of action.

19. Questions life purpose and how to be a “better” person.

20. Seeks to understand abilities, skills, and/or gifts.

Section H: Sense of Self

1. Feels trapped between wanting to be herself and wanting to fit in.

2. Imitates others without realizing.

3. Suppresses true wishes.

4. Exhibits codependent behaviors.

5. Adapts self in order to avoid ridicule.

6.  Rejects social norms and/or questions social norms.

7. Feelings of extreme isolation.

8. Feeling good about self takes a lot of effort and work. [ but i mean. depression ]

9. Switches preferences based on environment and other people.

10. Switches behavior based on environment and other people.

11. Didn’t care about her hygiene, clothes, and appearance before teenage years and/or before someone else pointed these out to her.

12. “Freaks out” but doesn’t know why until later.

13. Young sounding voice

14. Trouble recognizing what she looks like and/or has occurrences of slight prosopagnosia (difficulty recognizing or remembering faces).

Section I: Confusion

1. Had a hard time learning others are not always honest. [ esp when young though tbh by this point bc + depression/maybe anxiety it’s more like. wonders if everyone is being nice bc it’s socially expected or if they actually like me] 

2. Feelings seem confusing, illogical, and unpredictable. (self’s and others’)

3.  Confuses appointment times, numbers, or dates.

4. Expects that by acting a certain way certain results can be achieved, but realizes in dealing with emotions, those results don’t always manifest.

5. Spoke frankly and literally in youth.

6. Jokes go over the head. [ ‘IT’S A JOKE YOU CAN LAUGH NOW’ ] 

7. Confused when others ostracize, shun, belittle, trick, and betray. [ moreso when younger [ 

8. Trouble identifying feelings unless they are extreme.

9. Trouble with emotions of hate and dislike. [ i mean I still hate/dislike things it just takes a lot for me to hate/dislike something esp when younger]  

10. Feels sorry for someone who has persecuted or hurt her.

11. Personal feelings of anger, outrage, deep love, fear, giddiness, and anticipation seem to be easier to identify than emotions of joy, satisfaction, calmness, and serenity.

12. Situations and conversations sometimes perceived as black or white.

13. The middle spectrum of outcomes, events, and emotions is sometimes overlooked or misunderstood. (All or nothing mentality)

14. A small fight might signal the end of a relationship or collapse of world.

15. A small compliment might boost her into a state of bliss.

Section J: Words and Patterns

1. Likes to know word origins.

2. Confused when there is more than one meaning to a word.

3. High interest in songs and song lyrics.

4. Notices patterns frequently.

5. Remembers things in visual pictures.

6. Remembers exact details about someone’s life. [ tbh lowkey one of my hobbies just memorizing my friend’s time tables ] 

7. Has a remarkable memory for certain details.

8. Writes or creates to relieve anxiety.

9. Has certain “feelings” or emotions towards words.

10. Words bring a sense of comfort and peace, akin to a friendship.

(Optional) Executive Functioning   This area isn’t always as evident as other areas

1. Simple tasks can cause extreme hardship.

2. Learning to drive a car or rounding the corner in a hallway can be troublesome. [ look I know I need to get a driver’s licenece but the idea of. driving a car. is very scary. so much stuff to focus on ] 

3. New places offer their own set of challenges.

4. Anything that requires a reasonable amount of steps, dexterity, or know-how can rouse a sense of panic.

5. The thought of repairing, fixing, or locating something can cause anxiety.

6. Mundane tasks are avoided.

7. Cleaning may seem insurmountable at times.

8. Many questions come to mind when setting about to do a task.

9. Might leave the house with mismatched socks, shirt buttoned incorrectly, and/or have dyslexia. [ i mean that’s mostly bc i don’t care enough ] 

10. A trip to the grocery store can be overwhelming. [ yes but mostly only when i’m really tired ] 

11. Trouble copying dance steps, aerobic moves, or direction in a sports gym class.

12. Has a hard time finding certain objects in the house, but remembers with exact clarity where other objects are.

[mnefaulkerson]

My Pregnancy Journey (Why I Kept My Pregnancy A Secret)

Hi everyone! A few months ago, I gave birth to Baby A. 🙂 Some of you may have wondered if you had missed my announcement on my pregnancy. The truth is that I didn’t post about my pregnancy anywhere, choosing to keep the news a secret. In total, Ken and I only shared it with my dad and my in-laws, and a select group of very close friends.

Why I Kept My Pregnancy A Secret

The start of our pregnancy journey (July 2018)

The reason was that I simply wanted the personal space to focus on my pregnancy. For a while, I had been feeling boxed in by my culture. From the invisible pressure to have children, to the endless taboos for pregnant women, I felt trapped by the many expectations of my culture, many of which did not resonate with me. 

So after I got married, I felt pressured when relatives started asking me when I was going to have kids, when I had barely settled into my marriage. My answer of “I’ve not decided if I wanted kids” made for awkward conversation as it did not fit the image of a dutiful Chinese woman, and people would keep pressurizing me to have kids when I had already made my opinion clear. I would switch from feelings of guilt to frustration as I struggled with finding the “right” answer to their questions while being honest with myself.

Before I decided to have kids, I started to get pregnancy advice in the form of highly restrictive Chinese taboos from one of my sister-in-laws. The situation was particularly awkward as I had told her before that I had not decided if I wanted kids, yet reminding her about this was futile as she brushed away my comment, saying that it didn’t matter as she was preparing me for the future. I would sit for two hours as I received a starter’s guide to the world of highly restrictive Chinese pregnancy taboos, from not using the scissors (or your child would have a cleft lip), to not eating bananas (or you would have a miscarriage), to not having toys with eyes (as they may house spirits). While I had heard of some of these taboos before from my pregnant friends (one of them was unable to buy bananas as no fruit seller would sell them to her), this was the first time I was hearing them at length, and I knew that they were the start of more to come if I were to decide to have kids.

So when Ken and I decided to have kids last year and I became pregnant, I decided that it was best if (a) we didn’t share the news with anyone, and (b) we only share the news with selected people when I was ready. 

Firstly, I knew that sharing the news would lead to an influx of unsolicited advice, that, while well-intended, would be fear-based and generally unhelpful as it would be based on old wives’ tales. Secondly, Chinese pregnancies tend to receive intense scrutiny as everyone fuses over the mom with restrictions on what she should do/not do, ranging from logical to entirely illogical. These restrictions tend to be negative, overwhelming, and quite frankly, exhausting to deal with as you have to follow rule after rule just to appease the elders. Not doing so would lead to excessive worry on their end, while you would be repeatedly criticized and reminded of the consequences (cleft lip, miscarriage, baby being born ugly, etc.) should you not follow them.

As I felt that my priority should be to ensure a smooth pregnancy, not to allay others’ fears, I decided to keep my pregnancy a secret and focus on what needed to be done. Given that pregnancy is one of the most vulnerable phases of a woman’s life, with many changes happening to her body, the last thing I wanted was intense scrutiny of my actions. What I needed was a safe space to nurture my baby.

So for my entire pregnancy, we only shared the news with my dad and Ken’s parents, and later on with selected close friends toward the end of my term. Everyone else only knew post-birth. For the whole time, I made sure to keep a low-profile (which wasn’t that difficult as I’ve been living a low-key life for the past few years), and kept social meetups to a minimum.

My Pregnancy Journey

Keeping my pregnancy a secret gave me a lot of mental relief, and the quiet space to focus on it. I spent most of my free time outside of work reading articles, research studies, and pregnancy forums to learn about other moms’ experiences.

As I consume a vegan diet, I followed vegan pregnancy groups, on top of normal pregnancy groups, to get information pertaining to a vegan pregnancy.

After much research, I realized that I wanted a natural birth without intervention, and found an excellent gynae to help me achieve that. Ken and I took a course to educate ourselves on birthing, breastfeeding, and babycare (which in retrospect didn’t really prepare us for what was ahead), and I did a lot of reading up online.

Food & Nutrition

Throughout my pregnancy, I ate a nutrient-dense vegan diet with a strong focus on fruits and vegetables.

I didn’t eat much during my first trimester due to nausea (mine started at week 6 and lasted till week 11), and suffered very bad bloating which only improved in the second trimester. In total, I lost 2kg (4.4 lbs) during this time.

As I developed very bad acne during my pregnancy, I realized, through an elimination process, that the best diet where I wouldn’t have any acne is an oil-free, allergen-free, HCLF (high-carb low-fat) vegan diet. As almost every food sold today has some kind of oil or allergen (like soy), I had to learn to prepare my own meals (something that I hated doing in the past), and eventually developed simple recipes that I could adopt even on a busy schedule. I’d continue to eat this way post-birth and I consider this one of my best rewards from my pregnancy (besides Baby A of course)!

My favorite morning snack: Vegan Banana and Berries Ice Cream Sorbet (made by blending frozen banana and mixed berries). Easy to make, and ridiculously delicious. I’d follow this with whatever fruits are in the kitchen (which could be mango, papaya, berries, apples, honeydew, etc.).

One of my lunch snacks: Baked Potatoes, Brussel Sprouts, Asparagus (Vegan, no oil)

Another lunch snack: Quinoa salad with veggies of the day (Vegan, No Oil)

Dinner: Tomato pasta with mushroom and spinach, plus pumpkin (Vegan, no oil)

Weight & Exercise

Throughout my nine-month term, I only gained 5 kg (11 lbs) despite eating heartily every day (!). If you consider that I lost 2 kg (4.4 lbs) during my first trimester, then I really gained 7 kg (15.4 lbs) baby-wise.

While I was initially very concerned as it is below the weight gain of a typical pregnancy (12-15kg or 25-35 lbs), I later realized that this is simply a guideline and is not a target to hit if (a) you’re already eating healthy, (b) you’re not trying to lose weight, and (c) your baby is growing fine and everything is going well with your pregnancy. Depending on the guidelines you look at, a woman does not need to consume more calories in her first two trimesters, only an extra 200 calories per day in her last trimester,[1][2][3][4][5] and it’s more important that she consumes a nutrient-dense diet. I dropped to my pre-pregnancy weight right after birth (57 kg or 126 lbs; I’m 1.7 m or 5′ 7″), and I credit this entirely to eating a very clean diet during my term.

As swimming is a great exercise for pregnant women, I swam 2X a week from the middle of my second trimester leading up to birth, for about 30-40 minutes each time.

Supplements

The only supplements I took were folate (a few weeks before I got pregnant and for the first four months of my term), B12, and EPA/DHA, of which the latter two I normally take as a vegan anyway. I didn’t take any prenatals as (a) I would break out when doing so, even with fully organic ones, and (b) unless you have a deficiency, prenatal vitamins are really unnecessary and it’s more important to eat a nutrient-dense diet instead.

I also did not take calcium supplements which are routinely given to pregnant women. If you research this area, you’ll find that there is controversy surrounding calcium supplements, where researchers have found that taking calcium supplements may raise the risk of plaque buildup in arteries and heart damage.[7][9] Instead, I focused on consuming calcium through my diet, which is really the best way to take in calcium rather than through supplements.[10][11]

Screening Tests

Ken and I knew Baby A’s gender by the end of our third month as we took the Harmony Test, a test commonly offered from Week 10 to test for fetal abnormalities. The other commonly offered test is the Oscar Test. 

The Harmony Test has a 99.9% accuracy rate and lets you know the baby’s gender, while the Oscar test has a 80% accuracy rate and doesn’t test for the gender. The former is significantly more expensive, at 3-4 times the price of the latter (the prices depend on your clinic; in general the Oscar Test starts from S$300 or US$200 while the Harmony Test starts from S$1,000 or US$700).

As I read about parents who did the Oscar Test and had unnecessary scares due to false positives (after which they had to spend extra money to take the Harmony Test), and I was 34 years old then (pregnancies over 35 tend to have more risks of chromosomal issues), we decided to take the Harmony Test to avoid guesswork and to know the gender in advance. All the results were normal.

The other major screening we did was the 5-month anomaly scan, a standard mid-pregnancy scan to check your baby’s development and to scan for any growth abnormalities. Everything was normal as well, though my amniotic fluid index (AFI) was on the lower end (but still within normal range), so I made it a point to swim regularly and drink lots of water daily thereafter (both are instant ways to improve your AFI[12][13]). I also had bilateral notching which my gynae said is not uncommon and was nothing to worry about (and he’s right as everything progressed normally).

Throughout my pregnancy, I did not have gestational diabetes, blood pressure issues, or preeclampsia, which can be common in the third trimester, and I credit a large part of this to eating a healthy diet.

Symptoms: Age Spots, Frequent Peeing, Round Ligament Pain

Besides nausea, bloating, and bad acne, another side effect I experienced was little bumps on my neck and a couple of pigmentations on my cheek which wouldn’t go away. In total, I had about 20 bumps on my neck by the time I gave birth. Moles also seemed to form very easily when I was in the sun, and were more pronounced than usual. I later found out that these are normal pregnancy side effects due to hormone changes, and they disappeared over a few months after I gave birth.

If you have a retroverted uterus like me, you’ll also experience frequent urination (2-3 times at night) in your first trimester. This stops once your uterus flips forward during your second trimester (it’ll do so by itself and there’s nothing you need to do to make it happen). Frequent urination will return in your third trimester as your bump grows larger and presses on your bladder. 🤣

At Month 6, I started to experience a sharp stabbing pain in the lower right side of my abdomen whenever Baby A stretched or kicked, and later my left side as well during my third trimester. As Baby A is a very active baby, this happened very often, and it was so painful at times that I thought my uterus was going to burst! 😱 I later found out that it’s a normal pregnancy symptom called round ligament pain.[14] I would experience it sporadically after giving birth, particularly when turning around in bed, and it disappeared after a couple of months.

Other funny observations during my pregnancy were feeling Baby A’s hiccups (started from Week 27, and she would hiccup a lot!), feeling her movements (starting from Month 4 — this became a few hundred times a day in as she is very active!!), and feeling her punches and kicks. My linea nigra (pregnancy belly line) appeared on Week 25 and darkened over the next few months.

Also, I started snoring occasionally from Week 28. 😑 This is apparently a common pregnancy symptom due swollen nasal passages from higher levels of estrogen.[15] Because I’m a light sleeper, I would wake myself up with my first snore. 😑 The snoring only happened over a few weeks, and stopped after I gave birth.

While swelling and swollen feet (edema) are common pregnancy symptoms, I didn’t experience any of this, and I feel that my diet definitely helped in this area.

Leading to Birth

When I was 9 months pregnant. This one was taken just two weeks before I gave birth!

Towards the end of my term, I became very tired. I could sleep for many hours and still feel tired in the day. My body would ache whenever I woke up, initially at my neck and back, and later spreading to my entire body in the final two weeks. This would disappear 20-30 minutes after waking up. There were days when I literally felt like a 90-year-old woman in the morning! This is normal and due to the body producing relaxin, a hormone that loosens joints to prepare for delivery.[16]

My bump “dropped” (known as lightening) in the middle of Week 35. During my third trimester, I had to wake up very frequently at night to go to the loo as my bump grew bigger and pressed on my bladder. It became quite tiring as I had to wake up 4-5 times per night in the final weeks while moving with my big bump!

These were all normal and were signs that my body was preparing itself for birth, which would happen soon enough. 🤣 

Stay tuned for the next part (coming next week) where I share my birth story! 🤣 

The post My Pregnancy Journey (Why I Kept My Pregnancy A Secret) appeared first on Personal Excellence.

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[shewassoferal]

okay but from the list of autistic traits I reblogged here 

I’m bolding Jemma (and I’m going to put mine in italic just to confront them for myself because it’s been years that I’ve been side-eyeing this, though in my case there is so much more than that) 

Tends to analyze everything constantly

Often straightforward and practical in nature.

Often gets lost in own thoughts and zones out (may display a blank stare)

May appear naive or innocent (despite not being so)

Prone to honesty, has difficulty lying

May struggle to understand manipulation, disloyalty, vindictive behavior and retaliation.

May be gullible and easily taken advantage of, misled, or conned.

May have feelings of confusion and isolation in relation to others

Escapism frequently used to relax or avoid overwhelming situations.

Often holds fixations, obsessions, and extreme interest in specific topics.

Finds comfort in escaping through imagination, fantasy, and daydreaming.

Often has slower reaction times due to need for mental processing.

May have had imaginary friends as a child.

Frequently imitates (takes social cues from) people on television or in movies.

May obsessively collect, organize, count, categorize, or rearrange objects.

Often highly adapted to social imitation.

May find math and numbers easier to deal with due to logic and lack of objective answers.

May struggle to relax or rest due to many racing thoughts.

Often has comorbid conditions, such as OCD, anxiety, ADD or ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, etc.

Often has sensory processing disorder (sight, sound, texture, smells, taste)

May have dyspraxia (Poor muscle tone, lack of coordination and depth perception)

May have dyslexia

May have an eating disorder or food obsessions

May have been misdiagnosed or diagnosed with other mental illness or possibly labeled a hypochondriac.

Tends to drop small objects

May frequently engage in “stimming” (self-stimulation) i.e., flicks fingernails, flaps hands, drums fingers, rubs hands/fingers, tucks hands under or between legs, clenches fists, twirls hair, taps foot/shakes leg, sways side to side, spins in circles, bouncing up and down, rocking, etc.

May use various noises to express herself rather than using words.

May have a tendency to over-share with friends and sometimes strangers

May have little impulse control when speaking

May accidently dominate conversation at times.

Often relates discussion back to self (sharing as a means of reaching out)

May be incorrectly seen as narcissistic

Often sounds eager or over-zealous at times.

May feels as if she is attempting to communicate “correctly.”

Often struggles with and is confused by the unwritten social rules of accurate eye contact, tone of voice, proximity of body, stance, and posture in conversation.

Eye contact often takes extreme focus, which may lead an individual’s eye contact to be darting and insufficient, or over-the-top staring/glaring.

May have difficulty regulating voice volume to different situations. Is frequently observed as being either too loud or too quiet.

Conversation, specifically small talk, can be exhausting.

May have trouble focusing on/engaging in conversation that is not centered on one’s primary interests.

May observe and question the actions and behaviors of self and others continually.

May have difficulty with back-and-forth conversation

Trained self in social interactions through readings and studying of other people.

Visualizes and practices how she will act around others and before entering various social situations.

Difficulty filtering out background noise when talking to others.

Has a continuous dialogue in mind that tells her what to say and how to act when in a social situations.

Sense of humor sometimes seems quirky, odd, or different from others.

As a child, it may have been hard to know when it was her turn to talk, may still be true as an adult.

Often finds the norms of conversation confusing.

Tend to say what they mean. Are often brutally honest, coming off as rude when they do not mean to be.

May feel misunderstood and tend to over-explain/ramble in an attempt to compensate for possible miscommunication.

Feels extreme relief when she doesn’t have to go anywhere, talk to anyone, answer calls, or leave the house.

Feelings of dread about upcoming events and appointments on the calendar.

Knowing she has to leave the house causes anxiety from the moment she wakes up.

The steps involved in leaving the house are overwhelming and exhausting to think about.

Must prepare herself mentally for outings, excursions, meetings, and appointments.

Question next steps and movements continually.

Often needs a large amount of down time or alone time.

May feel extremely self-conscious and uncomfortable in public locker rooms, bathrooms, or dressing rooms.

Tends to dislike being in crowded areas.

Difficulty sleeping due to sensitivity to environment

May be highly intuitive to others’ feelings, although may not appear to react to them ‘correctly’ in social situations

May take criticism and judgement very personally

May frequently adapt her viewpoints or actions based on others’ opinions

Dislikes words and events that hurt animals and people.

May have had a desire to collect or rescue animals, usually in childhood.

Often holds great compassion for suffering.

May try to help, offer unsolicited advice, or formalize plans of action.

Imitates others without realizing.

May exhibit codependent behaviors.

May frequently reject or question social norms.

Chameleon-like in social situations. Often switches preferences and behaviours based on environment and other people.

May outwardly appear to have little investment in hygiene, clothes, or appearance, often prefers fast and easy methods of style.

Clothing style is likely more focused on comfort and practicality, especially in the case of sensory issues.

May possess a youthful appearance and/or voice.

May have trouble recognizing what she looks like and/or has slight prosopagnosia (difficulty recognizing or remembering faces).

The emotions of oneself and others may seem confusing, illogical, and unpredictable.

Expects that by acting a certain way certain results can be achieved, but realizes in dealing with emotions, those results don’t always manifest.

Often speaks frankly and literally.

Certain kinds of humor, such as sarcasm and metaphors, may be difficult to understand.

Can be confused when others ostracize, shun, belittle, trick, and betray.

Often has trouble identifying feelings in others unless they are extreme.

Trouble with the emotions of hate and dislike.

May have feelings of pity for someone who has persecuted/hurt her.

Situations and conversations sometimes perceived as black or white.

The middle spectrum of outcomes, events, and emotions is sometimes overlooked or misunderstood. (All or nothing mentality).

May notices patterns frequently.

May be fascinated by words or song lyrics.

Tends to best remember/learn things in visual pictures (visual thinkers).

May have a remarkable memory for certain details, i.e., may find it surprisingly easy to remembers exact details about someone’s life.

Executive function is often a challenge

Learning to ride a bike or drive a car may be rather difficult.

Anything that requires a reasonable amount of steps, dexterity, or know-how can rouse a sense of panic.

The thought of repairing, fixing, or locating something can cause anxiety.

May have a hard time finding certain objects in the house, but remembers with exact clarity where other objects are.

May frequently second-guess oneself and ask a lot of questions before engaging a task or situation

(It was pointed out to me that feeling okay spending two months straight in my room surrounded by my fixations and finding extra tiring to engage in conversations with friends outside of those fixations isn’t exactly normal. I’m happy to be on my own but I’m too happy? one day I’m going to have money and find a therapist specialized in this. Not to mention how my diseases like celiac and food intolerance and maybe leaky gut are often connected to this too)