#it's crazy because i'm normal kind of but can also feel myself being obnoxious. I'M JUST EXCITED

[maddy-ferguson]

is having a friend crush more embarrassing than having a real crush. maybe

[sandyspaghettibag]

One of the handful of reasons why I'm not dating despite being a whole adult now is because I'm not even a very good friend, I feel.

My entire life since probably 9 or 10, I didn't let anyone know anything I was interested in or did online, like I've had so many social media presences in under a decade that none of my friends know about, which I'm VERY glad about in retrospect, but I'm only just now climbing out of the pit of eternal and excessive secrecy and subconsciously fusing all these different lives I live into my one single life. I can tell because I didn't give a FAWK what people thought of me; I'd lie to their faces and say I didn't have a Twitter when in reality, I was on there every single day of my life. Now I'm wondering what people in my real life would think if they knew I went home and ~experienced joy~ with a video of a pokémon professor tongueing a horse pokémon in the butt. Like, I'm not some big anomaly for watching crazy stuff, but this freaky lil bitch is the same one who came home from a party where he didn't even have the guts to cuss like everyone else was. I feel like I've code-switched so many times that I literally don't even know who I am or my aspirations, like to everyone else I'm just a background character in their lives with no sense of individuality, like I'm an npc lmaoooo. When in reality, I've had the most emotional and arguably cinematic transition from high school to college I can imagine myself having, and it's almost like I need to come out as, like… my own person.

I love being alone but I also want people to care about me. I'm at the point where I can't tell if I'll always be terrible at socializing or if my friends just don't mesh with me at all and I need someone who "gets" me. I can't imagine how I come off across to these friends and I kind of hate my participation in their lives. It's almost like I'm trying to find a soulmate in a friend because I suck so much at being friends with people in real life. I can literally not talk and the conversations carry on like normal, not bringing anything to the table, and I know these hoes are gonna start hating that I'm still sticking around with them. To rephrase the start of this paragraph as a question, am I incapable of enjoying the company of friends or are these people just obnoxious and exhausting?

One of the other reasons I ain't dating is because I will never lie or withhold information from my boy/girlfriend, and I know from just sitting in a group of them that girls say EVERYTHING about their ex-boyfriends when they break up. Like all that honesty suddenly turns into evidence you were/are a bad person to multiple people who may or may not know you, so if I break-up with a girl… I mean I may as well just shoot myself because it'll all be over anyway. Case in point: PROFESSOR SYCAMORE TONGUEFUCKS MUDSDALE.

Boys on the other hand are just scary because I'm closeted and every man I've loved has either been straight or in a different state/country. Apparently.

[thedancefloorsilly]

Hi! Congrats on 300 that's amazing!🎉 can I participate in the f/o's event please? I choose Chrollo and Kurapika (seperate). I don't have any absolutely necessary hcs for the relationships that I need to mention, except for that both are loving of course.

I'm really sorry if this is too long or too much! I tend to be open to a horribly obnoxious extent. I just overshare a lot. I had to reread this multiple times and shorten it as much as I could make myself.

Basic about me: I'm an aries sun w/ a gemini moon and leo rising, personality type is INFP. Hobbies I like are writing (normal fictional stories and fanfic), reading, drawing, painting, digital editing, walking around in nature (not quite hiking), Minecraft, and adventuring to places near me.

I get attached to random things and get really excited whenever I see them. Some examples are flowers, moths, shiny/pretty rocks or crystals, and anything similar to bottle caps/can tabs, safety pins, and other little shiny thingies.

While I tend to pride myself on how mature I can be and just how intelligent I am- normally in unique critical thinking, language skills, and imagination/creation, I'm also just a little kid at heart. I have wildly exaggerate reactions to things I like no matter how small or big they are, and due to rejection sensitive dysphoria I can be a little childish in turmoil no matter how many big words I use.

I actually like that I express joy so much and can romanticize any scenario + fall in love with insignificant objects. It took me a while to realize I even liked to do this because I didn't realize I had been masking my entire life. Due to other things being masked and whatever I have issues connecting the image of myself now to the image of myself when I was little to an alarming amount, yet still have a connection to her on the inside because I know she would be similar to now if she could.

I have ADHD and maladaptive daydreaming issues, possibly autism but I'm still doing research.

I really like praise and I need someone telling me good things about me, and I have envy problems. I wouldn't call it jealousy because I never act on anything, nor do I wish bad for the people who are doing good. My main issue, I guess, Is the "never enough" kind of thing. That's the only way I can describe it. When I'm upset, the only way to describe how I feel about myself is that I'm never enough, and no matter how much I try people won't like me as much as healthy me likes me...does that make sense? It's like I blame other people but I aim the hate and hurt feelings towards myself?

The words I'd use to describe myself are creative, intelligent, sensitive, affectionate, exaggerative, wondrous, and open

I kin Gon. Other characters are: Reki (sk8 the infinity), Anne (anne with an e), Coraline, Syd (I am not ok with this), lance (voltron), and Kaido (saiki k)

Very random details that don't matter: •I have wavey-curly hair but it can change wildly. It can be really curly, fluffy and insane, or completely flat without much at all. I've never used curling product or whatever to get it curly I just have to tightly braid it for a day and it's completely there. •I wear basic clothes but extra af accessories everywhere and somewhat crazy eyeliner. I like little trinkets as accessories like safety pins, paper clip necklaces, or hair ties on my wrist. Also some normal ones like rings, chokers, and bracelets. •I am definitely a spiritual bitch and I'm all for the moon and crystals and herbs (very basic I know), of course actual witchcraft work, but a little basic romanticizing doesn't harm nothin'

Let me know if i didn't do something right! I'm happy to be one of your 300 followers <3

Hi!! Thank you so much and ofc!! Ah don't apologize the more info the easier it is (I liked reading all of this, and plus I got so many ideas bc of it :D) !!! I also have that habit LOL. you did everything right so dw (and omg thats so nice the at the end mah heart :,)). Have a great day and enjoy <333

Event: Closed

Kurapika

- It��s not a surprise on why Kurapika loves you so much, as there are many things about you guys that make such a great fit. Having you as his lover just makes Kurapika appreciate one more thing about his life.  

- Lets start off with the fact that you romanticize the scenarios and objects in your life. To Kurapika, he views this as you having an appreciation for the little things in life. For someone to express joy through the seemingly “insignificant things” is such a beautiful thing to him, and to Kurapika, he also thinks of it as a reminder to enjoy life’s little gift’s.

- This also reflects off his own way of thinking. For someone who has lost almost everything, Kurapika reminds himself to be grateful for all the things life has to offer. When life gets tough, he remembers some of the big and small things that he is appreciative for: seeing the sunrise each morning, his friends, how he’s able to wake up to see another day, and one of the most important things of all, you. 

- There is not a day where Kurapika does not remind you how important you are to him, how much you’ve changed part of his outlook on life, how you’ve gave his little dark and grey world some color. For that, he’s just so exceedingly grateful, and his heart is full of this everlasting love for you. Having said that, those days where you feel as if you’re never enough always make him upset to hear. 

- Though Kurapika might be a littleee uncertain with his advice, he tries to solace you the best that he can. With his calm voice, he’ll try and reassure you that you are enough, even if you might no see that in your eyes. One thing Kurapika wishes for you is to one day view yourself the way that he always does.

- Kurapika and you also share your love for nature, which was one thing you later learned about him. Growing up in a beautiful forest in the Lukso Province as a kid, he was surrounded by nature almost all through his life. He has such an appreciation for the beauty that the naturel world has. Kurapika and you sometimes set up dates where nature is most present, such as in a forest, or maybe in a field of flowers at night when the two of you can stargaze in each others arms.

- These have to be one of his favorite kinds of dates with you. The serene atmosphere that the environment brings Kurapika puts him at such ease, and having you by his side the whole time just perfects everything. While these moments can be filled with exchanged laughter from your conversations, or a calm silence from taking in the presence of your surroundings and each other, you guys always have such a wonderful time out of it. The ending to these dates can be topped with a heartfelt kiss from the two of you, as a reminder that your love and appreciation for each other is so deep-hearted and sincere.

Chrollo

- As the leader of an infamous group of thieves who can steal as much as they desire, Chrollo knew that he couldn’t just ‘steal’ someone’s love. You intrigued him from the start, and being that you guys seemed to be very different in personality, Chrollo was willing to know more about you. 

- In his eyes, you were like this divine gem that somehow ended up in his grasp, except without the use of “stealing” it. Now that you and him are dating, there’s not a day where Chrollo doesn’t try and show how much he loves you. Let’s start with how every time he call’s you, it’s with the use of an endearing name. He usually goes back and forth between calling you “my love”,  “my dear” and “sweetheart”.

- Every time you feel envious, or have those feelings of inadequacy, Chrollo pulls you close to him, and tries to comfort you with the sweetest of words. Now usually if he would ever say something this heartfelt to someone, it would be for personal gain in return. But, whenever he pulls you into his arms and whispers his own advice, it’s because it’s genuine. All the praise you hear coming from your mouth is something that Chrollo truly means, and wants you to understand. 

- He also really enjoys your personality in which you romanticize everything. Chrolo finds it very cute to him, and loves seeing how you get excited with the smaller things. As someone who could steal almost anything for you (large jewel, rare items, etc.) Chrollo finds it funny that you just like to pay attention to the little things. With that being said, anything that he finds that reminds Chrollo of you, whether it be out on  his missions or a daily stroll), he’ll always bring back. He loves seeing the visible excitement on your face, the way your eyes bright up and that lovable grin to follow. He just can never get enough of it. 

- Knowing that you also love these, Chrollo will always gift you with a bunch of rare flowers that he saw. He will usually give you about three or four of the most prettiest flowers you’ve seen, and he’ll tie it with a small ribbon just for you. While you’re expressing your love to how beautiful these flowers are, of course, he’ll sneak in some lovey compliment (“yes they look nice, but they don’t look as amazing as you”. Normally these are very cheesy, but Chrolllo says it in a way that just works).

- Reading dates are very common with you and him. Chrollo is an avid reader, and going on a date based on his interest next to someone he so deeply loves would just be perfect. You guys could just cuddle on the couch or bed, maybe light some nice candles around, and just... read next to each other!! It might not sound like much, but it’s very enjoyable when you’re around each other.

- All in all, the love Chrollo has for you cannot so simply be described in just words. Even though there might come danger from his own role, he will promise to protect you. Chrollo is just so happy to have met you, to be with you, to call you each other’s, and to develop this mutually genuine love that you and him have. 

a/n: this was very very fun to write nd I rlly hope u like it :D ty for participating again !!

[sarcastically-defensive17]

Voodoo Doll - Adult! P. Parker

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

Song fic based on Voodoo Doll by 5 Seconds of Summer

Female reader

For a long time, Peter thought it was practically impossible to be irritated by everything a person does. Even Flash didn’t get on his nerves this much in High School.

Until he met you.

Y/N Stark. Adoptive daughter of his mentor.

If one thing was for certain, you had the Stark confidence down pat. A near-permanent smirk was plastered on your features and when it wasn’t making Peter’s heart race it was driving him up the wall.

I don’t even like you, why did you have to go and make me feel this way?

Anybody could tell you had an infatuation with Peter. It was more than obvious. What Peter didn’t understand was how you made his pulse quicken and his cheeks turn red.

That’s probably what frustrates him the most.

You provoke something in him. You’re smug and confident, with every reason to be. You ooze intelligence, you’re beautiful beyond compare (at least in Peter’s mind you are) and he knows that he holds these feelings for you, but he refuses to acknowledge them for longer than necessary.

I don't understand what's happened,

I keep saying things I never say.

You’re always making a joke out of every situation. More than Tony does - and that’s an impressive feat on its own.

That’s manageable. Peter is all for a joke to lighten the mood. What he isn’t for, is the jokes that are targeted towards him.

Much like the first thing he heard you say.

You were his age, but while he was finishing high school you were off at Oxford University in England studying various different aspects of human behavior. Upon your return, not long after he graduated, Tony dragged him into a room at the compound where you sat, hair tied back in messy but classy updo and a tank top showcasing various tattoos decorating your skin.

Tony stated that you had just finished a psychotherapy session Captain Rogers, as you’re writing a thesis on the status of PTSD after long periods after a war.

The door opened and your head snapped up from your computer, a smirk stretching your soft-looking lips and you stood to peck your father on the cheek.

Your next words were the catalyst for Peter’s negative feelings towards you.

“Whose the nerd? I don’t have to babysit again do i?” Your voice was silky, and the teasing tone was incredibly evident, along with the wink you send his way before your eyes grazed the length of his body

From that point on Peter held a firm frown when in your presence. How could somebody be so blatantly obnoxious when meeting somebody for the first time?

What made it even worse was that he could feel your gaze on him quite often. And he hated that it made him feel good about himself.

I can feel you watching even when you're nowhere to be seen,

I can feel you touching even when you're far away from me.

Things got incredibly frustrating when Ned visited the compound, and mentioned offhandedly the immature nickname Flash had given him in their Freshman year.

“Penis Parker?” Your voice was an octave higher than normal, and somehow it still sounded like music to Peter’s ears, “that is gold! I am so going to use that.”

The wink you sent his way as he released a loud groan sent a chill down his spine and he could feel the blush rising to his cheeks quickly.

Despite the teasing, he still found himself wanting to be near you. And he hated it. He knew it was harmless banter, as you had with everybody else in the compound. Hell, you only ever addressed Bucky as “Old Man”.

Tell me where you're hiding your voodoo doll ‘cause I can't control myself.

I don't wanna stay, I wanna run away but I'm trapped under your spell.

Peter was convinced you had some control over his thoughts. How else would he so desperately want to be around somebody who aggravates him as much as you do?

Why else would he volunteer almost all of free time to training with you, or helping you around your office, or with organizing evidence from your studies for your thesis?

I don’t even see my friends no more ‘cause I keep hanging out with you.

I don’t know how you kept me up all night or how I got this tattoo.

Why else would he wake up, naked, in your bed with your equally naked frame curled against his side after a night out with you some of the other Avengers.

He chalked it down to a drunken mistake, although his heart clenched when he woke with a content smile on his face. Even if he didn’t want to admit it consciously, his subconscious was incredibly happy being curled up with you.

He made the conscious decision to sneak out of your room before you could wake, or before Tony could walk into the room and see you both in a state of undress and rip his head off.

The most shocking revelation, though, came in the form of a cartoon spider tattooed on his upper thigh, with your initials in your handwriting

Every time I see you suddenly my heart begins to race.

By now, Peter was convinced you had some control over his mind. He would miss you like crazy when you weren’t around, and he had no idea where his feelings came from.

He had always had a small crush on you, but he just pushed it away. He can’t even blame it on the drunken night you shared, because he has hardly any memory of the events, and you have acted completely normal following. Almost as if nothing happened.

Your eyes still lingered on his face and his form, you listened intently to every word that fell from his lips, you still teased him and joked at his expense. You still drove him crazy, but in a better way than you did before.

He still disliked your obnoxious attitude, but he was beginning to realize that he was being hypocritical. You were similar to your adoptive father in that respect. Quick witted, sarcastic, sardonic and cynical but also humorous and kind and willing to do anything for anybody inside and outside of the complex.

Every time I leave, I don't know why my heart begins to break.

It all came to a tee when you took a bullet to the chest during a local mission. Hostage situation bank heist that you and Peter were sent to handle. He had known you for so long, yet he still didn’t know what your power, that Tony and Bruce had mentioned, was. He figured it was some form of coercion or mind control, which led to his shift in emotions towards you.

He was hoping he would find out in another way.

His heart dropped to his stomach when your efforts to calm the criminal failed and she fired a shot into the left side of your chest.

You fell to the ground with a grunt, and blood poured from the wound.

Peter sprung into action, securing the criminal who was in shock of her actions and then leapt to your side instantly.

His hands pushed on the wound, your eyes closed and his voice rang out, shouting for paramedics or anybody to come and help.

His heart stopped when he heard your voice, “If you wanted to touch my boobs again, you just had to ask.”

The smirk was on your face, and he looked down to see the hole near your collarbone healing beneath his fingers.

Tell me where you're hiding your voodoo doll ‘cause I can't control myself.

“You- you’re not- you’re okay?” He stammered, watching as you stood to your feet and brushed your hands on your pants.

“Duh.” A scoff left your lips, “my healing is better than yours, Penis-man.”

Without a warning, Peter’s lips were on yours and your eyes closed slowly as you leaned into the man. He pulled back slowly, resting his forehead on yours and seeming to consider his actions.

The smirk stayed on your face.

I don't wanna stay, I wanna run away but I'm trapped under your spell.

“Been waiting for that for a while,” you whispered, pulling your head back slightly from his.

“You drive me insane,” Peter rolled his eyes, his lips connecting with yours once again.

[pbandjesse]

I was feeling a lot better but my allergies are going crazy and im having some trouble breathing. I just took some medicine but i really dont love sitting here wheezing.

Today was a much better day. I was all overheated last night and was probably annoying to James whining about it. But eventually I was able to sleep.

James got up at 630. Because. And I was like. No. So I stayed in bed for a while. He made us biscuits. From scratch. And eventually I got up. And then fell back down. James eventually pulled me up and we had breakfast.

Eventually we got ready to go. He packed his bag for his trip. And walked me to my bike.

I had a good ride home. And I felt energized for once. So i cleaned. Finally. My whole space feels so good right now. I cleaned for about an hour. I ran to the grocery store for anything I could need tomorrow. Since I won't leave my houseor shop on Thanksgiving. I decided to wear jeans today which made biking very hard. I cannot bend very well. Which became a theme of the day.

When I got back from the grocery store I sorted my laundry to do later. And then got ready to go. My bus was running early so even though I missed one as I walked up to the stop I still got on the bus very quickly.

I got to the school right before 12:30. And I got Right to Work filling up their paint palettes. Put some showed up. And we had a much better report today. Like we're both in a really good mood and just really jazzed about the day. And I really just sent a really good tone for how we would work with the kids. I did end up talking to Tiffany about some of my concerns and she said that she had had some as well. So I'm glad that we can have an open conversation about it. But it was nice being able to work with him and just be in a really good mood.

I ended up asking a whole bunch of questions about holidays in Ethiopia and how he feels about Western media's portrayal of his country. It was really fascinating getting to hear his perspective on everything.

And soon enough it was time to go get the kids. I really enjoy going down to their classrooms to grab them. I'm trying to introduce myself to other teachers so that I'm not just some random girl hanging out in the hallway. And eventually they all got dismissed and came upstairs.

It was a stellar day. We only had 13 students which was great. And having such a small amount of kids made the whole day just go so much smoother. I know we can't have that few kids all the time but man is it ideal.

We started the day with some rules about the 10th to try to evade some of the problems that we had yesterday. And I think that's going to help going forward. The kids really seem to understand the rules once I had them read them out loud. We went to recess and that was fine. Elijah did fall in a ditch and twisted his ankle and I had to give him a piggyback ride all the way back to the building. Because I didn't want him to have to lean on the kids and bounce which would have taken an hour. But he's real small so I didn't care about carrying him.

Dinner was just fine. They all ate fairly quickly and cleaned up with not much issue. We lined up and headed to the classroom. We were supposed to paint outside but it was just too cold and windy to do it. So instead we painted from the windows. And put some have made some few finders for the kids and so everyone use those to decide on what they are painting and then they just looked out the windows and painted what they saw. About 90% of the kids understood what they were supposed to be doing. But all of their work came out so nice. I posted a picture of my painting from yesterday my painting from stay above. But the kids work was just really fun. It was also really nice to be painting with them. Me and him both did one. Like he did his is an example to start with and then both of us just painted for the rest of class. It was really nice to have the kids run up to us and look what we're doing and then run back to their painting. It was like we were inspiring them in that moment and that was really cool.

Cleaning up was just fine. We didn't really have too many problems today. Fitsum had them all go around the room and talk about things that they were thankful for. And then I have them lined up in the hallway and we headed to snack. We have lost a couple students. Two are moving. One was suspended. One just decided to not come anymore. I know there's a mom that may have pulled him out of the program. So we may be getting a bunch of new students. But I think right now we're doing really well. Today was just really really nice.

It took a little longer to completely clean up our classroom. And then we headed out. I got home before 6. And basically changed and got right back on my bike to head to the 7-Eleven to pick up the package. Because the 7-Eleven down by the stadium has an Amazon Locker. And my new pillow came.

Wasn't a bad ride. I just never been there before so I was a little nervous about going the right direction. But it ended up being no big deal. Just a few blocks off of my normal path down to the harbor. I got my box and came back home. I played with sweet pea. I did laundry. I wash my sleeping bags for overnight switch I have a few coming up. And I need to be ready for. I had dinner. And I've been watching a really great YouTube series about Catherine the Great for the last hour. I'm excited to have the next day off. I'm still not sure if I'm supposed to go to work at ships on Friday. I told him yeah I really didn't want to but I would if she needed me but she never answered me after that. So I don't know if I'm supposed to be working. Which I find very obnoxious. Honestly at this point I really just want to say no. That she hasn't given me any concrete answer and that's not cool. It would be nice to just have another chill day off. But either way. I'm looking forward to tomorrow. My plan is to wake up early and have breakfast. I want to take a bath. I want to work on my art. Finish my diorama. Paint for a while. Maybe do some embroidery. I wish I had some watercolor paper because I would really like to start Making some plans for me and Jess's next project. But maybe even then with the paper I do have I can figure something out. I really hope to take advantage and have a nice day. I would like to take a nap at some point too. Just like all of my blankets on my bed surrounding me. I want everything to feel soft. I don't want to feel guilty about anything tomorrow. I hope you guys all have a nice day tomorrow. I hope you all have the day off but if you don't I hope the day is kind to you.

Good night everyone.

[circle-bircle]

YAY, so *deep breath* ill be going from chapter to chapter, if you dont mind:p bc i feel like it's going to get messy, if i try to talk about everything at the same time.

CHAPTER ONE - first of all, THE WAY YOU WRITE Y/N AS A CHARACTER???? im at a loss of words (in a positive manner ofc!!).

:::::::i have no idea whether its the fault of all those works of fiction that i had to force myself to read IN ORDER TO consume at least a bit of rare content for certain of my hyperfixations, but whenever I see a signs of ,,no, this character isn't going to start screaming and crying, generally making their situation worse, because of their stupid perception of having good luck on their side blah blah blah making even mOre stupid escape plan and then be mad when it unsurprisingly doesnt work out- like,,, yes, jennifer, you do have the absolute right to cope with such situation like that, but please just cease your noise for at least a second and use your brain!!" i buRST with happiness. i'll go more on about ,,why??" in the next rants, because ill kinda have more to go off from:3

also, the line "You should lie, but this man seems like someone who would trust you and your word until the day he dies",,,,,,circle,,,,,were you kinda fore-shadowing,,,,because now that i re-read it, it feels like what mateus kinda did til the very last chapter,,,,,,

nEXT, i adore the biting/feeding descriptions (as weird as that sounds-). it's just so,,, mateus-like, meaning GREEDY AF, rough, obnoxious and oh-so-abrupt (at least for y/n lol). i liked that a lot. and then,,, the atmosphere change, i felt as if those were the main indication of there being,,, a possibly,,, more-or-less romantic,,, relationship? if it's possible to call it that. ////:::well, mateus somewhat seems to believe, through most of the chapters, that it is a connection of this sort. bUt, the atmosphere changes - the way his expression softens, his tone of voice alternates when speaking to y/n, the small affection tokens (that kind of progress along with the story), the petnames?? spectacular.

last but not least for this chapter's coverage, i'm coming back for a second to y/n as the character - i loVe that she basically admits that she's treated,, more-or-less well in her predicament, the only thing bothering her being the lack of companionship and pure boredom //not a backstory of abuse, depression and dependancy that for reasons unexplained still want to make her come back to her own home, as it usually happens- bc as sad as it can sometimes get, its awfully repetitive, poorly executed and just plainly boring at times//. the line about how the escape could actually be awfully easy, due to mateus seemingly trusting her or just having a good excuse, in case if she was caught was a gReat addition, because,,,, it's really all it takes, doesn't it? the circumstances she found herself in are,,, well,, crazy??? so, it wouldn't hurt - that much - to at least hatch a bit lacking of details, a bit messy, but still better than just straight up spitting in the bastard man's eye and making a run for it RIGHT BEFORE HIM AND HIS SERVANT (i mean, leon DIDNT see us leave, he says to us,,, as we leave,,,but if mateus were there to witness that too,, he wouldnt do so, lets be honest)

(i am sO sorry if its too long aND messy, but i was writing it in the sprout of a moment and right after waking up!! chapter 2 will be a cleaner take,,, i think)

My reply will be under the read more. Because I don’t know how Tumblr cuts it off anymore and. I’m mildly courteous sometimes :P

As I wrote INI, I wanted two things the most:

1. Mateus is hot.

2. Y/N is a mildly normal person. 

I don’t know who is reading on the other side of the screen. I don’t know who doesn’t have a parent, who does, who was homeless and lived in a cardboard box out in the country for his/her life. While I did want it to read like a Wattpad fic (I Fall In Love With The Hot Vampire That Takes Me Captive!?!!!?111?) I also didn’t want Y/N to be absolutely stupid. Generalizing what a normal experience might be seemed to be the smartest thing to do.

While Leon is definitely more ‘human’ due to his circumstances, Mateus only wants loyalty and a ‘bloodbag’ he can keep. I didn’t see Y/N falling in love with either of them as I wrote. As the story progresses with her first escape attempt, I knew I wanted her to be a functioning member of society.

I also didn’t want it to be like, ‘oh Y/N got kicked out of her apartment and now she’s homeless and x, x, x, happened to her OHHH LOOK AT HER!!!1!’ that’s silly (even if it would be accurate to what it would be like if INI was taking place in the real world). I think the isolation would be the worst part of living with them, especially in the beginning - Y/N isn’t nocturnal, she doesn’t want to be there, she’s attempting to be as neutral as possible. But also it’s a reader-insert so what can you do? 

I feel like Mateus would be the nicest during feeding sessions. I mean, HE’S getting what are endorphins and nutrition from your blood. You’re weak from the draining and now you’re all sweet and pliant! He’d really enjoy that, and would especially enjoy confusing you and riling you when you can’t do anything <3 

I feel like I missed things to cover, but oh well? :p