#it's clear which of my IF is my top priority 💀

[cathopagan]

Doing a Spread to Appease My Anxiety

I don’t think it’s advisable to do readings when you feel extreme anxiety and panic, but I felt that I really needed it right now.

I have unfortunately and devastatingly lost my tarot cards so I make do with the Asterie Bot on Discord for now (hence the mismatched cards, which I find charming actually).

(spread from emeraldlotusdivination.com)

1 (top) - my current reality

The Hermit.

I’m lonely and isolated despite always talking to people because of my craving for conservation. I’m stuck in my head, constantly rationalizing my emotions, playing it cool when in fact I’m losing grip of reality, falling for the daydreaming trap and doing it whenever I can. I’m bedrotting, leaving my depression room a mess despite knowing I’ll be in a better place mentally once my physical space is. The responsibility looms over me and I see it, I hear it loud and clear, but I’m not listening to it. I wanna take paths different than what is conventional, because in my head, it may make things easy.

2 (bottom) - how I can center myself

King of Cups.

Mindfulness? Looking inwards? Looking at a new perspective? Therapy 💀? I may need to find ways to stay focused on the important things and keep my feet on the ground. Sort my priorities out and act accordingly.

3 (left) - the best way for me to relax

3 of Pentacles.

Uh, what. A distraction? Last thing that I believe I need right now, but I am advised to do something that fulfills me, which could be helping others or creating something (two things that I do enjoy doing). This makes me more anxious if I’m gonna be honest, so I could be reading into it wrong. Maybe it’s telling me to own it/take responsibility, I got here because of me so I might as well be like “yeah” and do something about it. Resonates better.

4 (right) - how I can stop worrying about the future

The Magician.

Honestly my first time getting this card in a reading as far as I remember.

I gotta just do it. If I’m stuck in daydream mode then make those dreams a reality. Create what I desire to the best of my ability. Just do it.

My Own Thoughts

I’ll… do it next week 💀 It has to be cus I’m just too busy this week. Right now, I’m meant to sleep because I have a big day ahead of me. I’ll do it and I swear on it. I think. Yes.

[thesecrimsonstrings-if]

Hi! I really hope I won't come off as rude but I've been following you since WLB and I was very excited for the demo. But then you explained why you'd rather write something like TCS and I get it. But now you come with yet another idea/WIP (which I must say is fucking awesome but I need to calm down so I won't get too excited) and idk, it just doesn't seem like you're actually focusing on one thing? Like, I get that you probably have many ideas but each wip needs a lot of time and a lot of work and constantly changing between two (or more) makes it much harder to write either. I'm really not saying this all just to be mean, I just hope you understand why I'm worried. Obviously you can do whatever you want but I, along with many other writers (I'm not writing IF, just stories ig) have done that before, that's why so many WIPs are never finished. I just really hope you'll finish TCS bc it's really good and just want to know in general what your plans are if that's ok?

i'd like to explain this in detail since i do understand where you're coming from. WLB was (surprisingly) liked by so many people and it was... kind of overwhelming ngl 💀 i really didn't understand how people would be so excited about playing a serial killer but you learn something new everyday. the moment i announced that i was going to cancel the project, i had a lot of asks thrown at me about how they were disappointed and would have really liked to play it. honestly, i understand their perspective as well because i'd be pretty bummed out if i was in their place. however, majority of them also understood my decision and it is something we can amicably leave behind.

i understand there are probably some people who are nervously eyeing TAFD and thinking that i'll probably axe TCS for it too, which isn't happening so please don't worry. writing is something i do in my free time and i have so many promising ideas shoved in my drawers because:

i don't think the steam will last too long if i work on them alongside a major project like TCS.

they need a lot of time and effort put into the designs and storyline. (the grishaverse IF, the norse mythology IF, and another untitled ghost IF)

i'm not saying that there's zero effort put into ‘they all fall down’ but it's a minor project that i'm pursuing beside ‘these crimson strings’ because the former's plot is already laid out with only a few adjustments that i'll make along the way. it's clear, precise and straight to the point! and if i had to choose between TCS and TAFD, i'd choose TCS 101%.

i don't have any specific plan for TAFD, it's just a fun side project that is mostly just me dabbling in a horror retelling. it's likely that i won't even be active much on that blog as much as i am here. TCS is my main priority and that hasn't changed, please don't worry. i just wished to work on another small project so i wouldn't burn out along the way.

[modelinterrupted]

Y’all I really should’ve left Sponsor where I left him. I last remembered telling y’all how he started putting out the idea of a threesome. Which I would love to but to be honest I’m not into the idea of doing it with him because he is not the best candidate for a threesome. I feel like that because for a threesome to be really amazing all parties have to go in keeping the pleasure of the others involved in mind. He is not that he’s the guy who has very rushed sex like he has him cumming as top priority. So I paid him dust when it came to that. Now recently it’s all he wants to talk about this man even went as far as going down my IG friends to pick options of the other girl. 😂 He sent me a girl I worked with once and tbh she is a baddie I’d be all for just me and her lol think Adriana Lima ish but more exotic looking. He now is pushing and steady asking me if I invited her out to drink with us. His stupid plan was for me to invite this girl that I’ve met at work once to have drinks with us then invite her upstairs and tell her she’ll get something out of it $$$$. He is thinking with his 🍆 so hard that none of it registers as weird af and illegal to him 💀 Like sir you have to finesse and make it more appealing than that. I believe everyone has a price but everyone can’t be readily bought. His whole thirsty attitude has me annoyed and I’m ready to ask him if he just wants me to make an introduction cause sir it’s clear you wanna be balls deep in her so bad 😂 then maybe me and her can have a sister wives situation minus him after he nuts. If it’s one thing a man will always have is the audacity. Keep in mind idk if she’s bi, idk her type idk if she’s whoreaphobic & he’s married. My approach is getting to know her and seeing if we could get a friends with benefits situation going between us 😂 Fuck him. He’d be invited to party only if we were out and the vibes were right. For me to orchestrate the entire situation sir you would absolutely not be my first choice for the man 😂😂😂