#it's been so fucking delightful to finally get to the hot springs episode after talking about it for SO LONG

[babblish]

💞, 💝, 🤍, 💌!

Thanks for the ask crow!

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

I mean yes these are all very important elements I am completely normal about at all times, but I think when it comes to it, the thing I value most is the thread tying everything together to create a balanced end product and satisfying journey rather than... a cake that's straight up gonna give you vanilla extract poisoning.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Technically all of them, but I have been shocked, shocked to see Primordial Awakenings do as well has it's done. It's currently my most kudos'd fic I've ever written and so goshdarn close to breeching 1000 hits.

🤍what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

Uhl fic, I think. 🤔 Perhaps I shot myself in the foot with this one but I think that most people don't realise that it's less about fleshing out An Single Character and more about fleshing out the entire setting and exploring the internal logic using Uhl as an entry point, Sam (the OC) as the narrative wire cutters to break my way in, and sitcom tropes as the lens of choice.

It's fine if people don't like it, I know it's an extremely niche concept and your mileage may very on my execution, but I feel like people probably have given up on it before I really hit my stride.

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

I'm afraid, as I got precious little done in ToA land in February, this will have to be from Web of Starlight.

This is from the first draft of Chapter 19: Hot Springs Eternal; (CW: nudity, bathing, comparing scars and past injuries)

The little gate closed behind them and Web was alone with Bariz. To the nearest wall was a basin of running water atop polished stone, and a tiny garden surrounding a constructed pool, steam rising gently to meet the foliage of the singular tree that bathed the area with soft shadows.

Bariz took no time at all to remove his clothes, and sat on rock smoothed with centuries of use with his eyes closed, contentedly listening to the bird peeping above them in the foliage.

Web felt his cheeks burn, backed into a situational corner, frozen with his hands on his shirt. He undressed with the hesitant efficiency of a prisoner and carefully folded his clothes, placing ear pieces atop. He stood awkwardly, staring at Bariz’s clothes, wondering if it’d be a transgression to do the same to his.

There was a wet sloshing as Bariz dunked his feet into the constructed pool, and he winced audibly as he slowly slipped in.

“Come on in,” Bariz said. “It’ll feel good to wash our horrible journey from your skin.”

Web approached him, sitting across from him on the walkway, legs clamped together and arms crossed over his chest. He eyed the water nervously, not trusting the way the whole place smelled, too much like deep underground places devoid of breathable air at all. At least he was in the shade.

“Look we can compare scars!” Bariz grinned, gesturing at a slash on his arm. “I got this one when I fell out of a tree. It’s a funny story really, I didn’t know dogs could even get that high!”

Web smiled awkwardly, deigning a single laugh, and then in a gesture of good will, pointed at what remained of ear. “I slipped when I was scaling a cavern wall, tumbled like a pebble on the sharp rocks before I could find my footing again.”

Bariz whistled. “Impressive!”

[hotwings0203]

Guys I’m having another Bakugo brainrot

Tw: bullying, noncon, nonconsensual peeping, manipulation

Remember that one episode of MHA where the class goes to the sauna and M*neta tries to check da girls out over the wall?

Imagine the same scenario, but years later when they’re all older

The class wanted a reunion, just to relax and blow off some steam

You’re with the girls, and you all lay back in the hot water reminiscing about the older days when everyone was still getting the hang of their own quirks

Mina brings up this exact same scene but years ago.

“Ohmigosh, do you guys remember the last time we came in our first year here and Mineta totally tried to get a peek at us?”

“Ugh, I hope Iida is keeping a good hold on him right now,” Ochacko giggles, kicking her feet up to rest on a rock

You hum in agreement, tilting your head back to rest against the wooden wall separating you and the boys.

As it was, Uraraka was almost spot on with her hopes. Except, Iida and Tokoyami were out getting refreshments for the rest of the boys, leaving the remaining group to their own plot.

Which was lead by Mineta, of course, who had the brilliant idea to spy on the girls, just like they almost did years back.

“Guys, come on, please they’re right there!” He practically salivates, wildly gesturing to the tall wooden wall in front of them.

Most of them shift uncomfortably and groan about him being a creep as usual, but the rest stay silent.

Mineta takes their lack of outright refusal as fuel to keep blabbering.

“Look, we almost got away with it back then-“

“-You mean you got away with it, we didn’t do shit. And you didn’t exactly get off scot-free, Kota completely demolished your attempts and you landed ass down on Four-Eyes’ face,” Bakugo drawls, leaning his head backwards and looking up at the obsidian sky. The boys laugh, remembering the ridiculous event.

The night is cool, the stars littering the inky atmosphere take the pressure off of Bakugo’s lungs. For weeks now they’ve been training like dogs, battling each other and even minor villains for extra practice of their quirks. This trip was supposed to be a leisure getaway, not a free porno.

But the grape-headed perv is insistent, scoffing and waving the blond’s quip off like some annoying fly.

“You know, there’s something in it for you too, Bakugo. I’ve seen the way you look at Y/N.”

This causes a murmur and a couple of light beers towards the blond, who in turn snarls and ignites his hand to quell the commotion. All of them had an inkling that Katsuki Bakugo had finally set his sights on some poor girl, and that was you. It was such a rare sight to see his face flush slightly when you walked past him, the way he stuttered over his words a bit when you two would be conversing amongst the same group, and best of all, when they would see how he would excuse himself to the bathroom or locker room occasionally when your hero suit would tear in certain places after battles.

“Shut the fuck up 3’2, unlike you I don’t need to ogle at those brain dead bimbos.”

“Oh? I didn’t realize you thought of Y/N as a ‘brain dead bimbo’, Bakugo, I’ll be sure to let her know how you feel” Mineta grinned maliciously, and the boys ‘oooo’ed at the jab.

Bakugo’s voice caught in his throat.

“You wouldn’t,” he growled, rising slightly out of the water.

“I already know you’ll kill me afterwards, but I’m prepared for the repercussions if you don’t help...cooperate here,” Grapehead inspected a cuticle and feigned a yawn.

“Come on Bakugo, it’s not like it’s gonna hurt anyone! Well keep this to ourselves,” Denki chimed in a little too eagerly.

“Yeah, I mean, we’re only asking for your and everyone’s support so that we can focus better on training y’know? A little fun never killed anyone.” Sero threw his arm over Kirishima’s shoulder, who blushed at the whole ordeal but kept silent all the while.

Katsuki looked around. Slowly, others were starting to really listen in and look interested at the outcome of Mineta’s plan. Surely a little peeping wouldn’t be too bad would it? And plus, it was only a one time thing.

Shoto was faring the same way as Kirishima, quiet and maybe embarrassed at what they were planning on doing, but no outright refusal. Even Deku had a weird longing glint in his eye, the same kind he would get when he used to fawn over All Might.

He thought about it for a minute more, a chance to see you, naked, honest, and pure, splashing around with your friends as you let your femininity dangle as it pleased.

“Do whatever the hell you want. I’m not taking blame if the bird and glasses come back, though.”

Hushed cheers and excited murmurs erupt from around the spring, and they huddle together to form a plan.

A couple minutes later, the boys were grouping around the wooden panels. Todoroki had burned a hole into the soft wood, and sero had used his transparent tape to cover it up so that the girls couldn’t see it from their side.

And there they were, completely bare, hair flowing, curves showing, voices mature and high pitched giggles emanating from around the water and bank.

Bakugo seeks you out immediately after the hole is made, shoving his way through the crowded bodies much to the amusement of others. But he doesn’t care, all he wants at the moment is to see you in your most honest element.

He doesn’t have to look long, because you’re right there, you’re right in front of them, only a few meters away. Your back is facing them, but the sight of your smooth, naked back and the round curve of your ass squishing against the rocks underneath you is enough to make Bakugo’s cock bob painfully above the water. It’s not too hard to hide his erection since the boys’s attention is elsewhere at the moment.

Your hair is open, and he wants nothing more than to feel it in his hands, run his fingers though your scalp and pull so hard that your neck is snapped back, he wants to know what kind of noises you’ll make for him, would you sound shrill and high pitched or would you wail and bellow for him to let go?

They can hear the girls talking amongst themselves, the hole in the wall makes their voices more audible and clear.

“Quit playing coy, Jirou, we know you’ve got your eye on someone,” Hagakure’s body is nowhere to be found as usual, but her chipper voice rings out from the middle of the hot spring.

Jirou is a few feet away from where you sit, her body also being shown for everyone to see. Bakugo glances at Kaminari to confirm his suspicion, but gags and quickly looks away when he gets an eyeful of his friends’ erect cock.

Not that Bakugo himself has room to talk, though.

“I mean, not really, it’s not a big deal.” The ravenette shifts and hides her head from the rest of girls’ cooing.

“Uh huh, sure. You’re not fooling anyone Kiyoka, I’ve seen the way you look at Denki. You two can’t keep your eyes off each other, it’s cute,” you purr, and Bakugo holds himself back from shoving the other guys out of the way just so that he can hear your voice the best.

Squeals and sounds of splashing fill the air, and Sero and Kirishima whisper excitedly and clap their red-faced friend on the back. Denki can’t keep the 50K watt smile off his face, and even Bakugo grunts and knocks shoulders with him, letting him know that he was happy for the human charger.

But then Jirou claps back with her own snarky observation, and the boys fall hush at the new revelation.

“Alright, you wanna talk about ogling Y/N? Then tell me, how’s Deku doing?”

“Or Bakugo, too,” Mina adds slyly, and now all the girls’ attention, as well as the boys’, is on you.

Bakugo felt like he had whiplash. He would’ve been elated, on Cloud 9 even to hear that maybe you had something for him too, had shitty Deku’s name not have been thrown in there too.

And he looks around wildly for the green haired freak, the freckles dusted across the expanse of his face even more prominent from the deep blush quickly forming, his scarred hands holding the sides of his face shaking in awe and gleeful shock.

But the rest of the boys aren’t as oblivious to how Bakugo seethes at his rival’s joy, from the way the water gets hotter from his quirk sparking underneath the rippling waves. Kirishima scoots closer to his friend and gently lays a hand on his shoulder as if to say, calm down, man. Not right now.

And so the hothead leaves it for the time being, opting to hear your response.

“I-it’s really nothing, they’re both just good classmates like the rest of the guys,” and although your back is turned to them, it doesn’t take a genius to know that you’re embarrassed too, your leg skittishly bouncing in front of you is making your ass jiggle from the back, much to the delight of the salivating boys.

Bakugo wants to spill blood when he suddenly realizes your body is being shown for the rest of these dogs to see

The girls start teasing you, your splutters being drowned out by their playful accusations.

“Come on L/N, whose cuter?”

“Dont act all coy now, I know how nervous you get when you’re all close to Bakugo. I mean I don’t blame you, have you seen his muscles? He could crush someone’s head with those things!”

“Yeah, but have you seen the way she giggles when Deku starts his mumbling tangents? That’s a classic crush right there.”

Bakugo is getting desperate to hear your answer now, some of the boys have left, feeling like they had their full of excitement for the night. They saw some tits and ass, heard some gossip, end of story.

The only ones remaining were Bakugo and his gang, as well as IcyHot and Shitty Deku.

Shitty Deku, who seemed equally eager to hear your response.

It pissed him off that he wasn’t getting the message to fuck off, even after all the growling and death stares he was receiving from his childhood friend.

But he guesses after a lifetime of dealing with it, it doesn’t scare Deku as much as it does anymore.

Maybe he’ll have to amp it up, later

“W-well I mean both of them have their own respective...flaws and strengths I guess..sometimes Deku can be kinda hard to talk to ‘cuz he’s so shy, but Bakugo can be a real jerk at times, too.”

You trail off, and Bakugo scoffs to himself. Him? Flaws? Those two words didn’t go well in one sentence together, but nonetheless he continues to listen. He wouldn’t refute the notion of him being an asshole, he wasnt that delusional.

“And yeah, I mean Bakugo definitely intimidates me sometimes with how aggressive he can be, but Deku is definitely getting up there in terms of physical prowess. But in terms of who I like, I’d have to say-“

“Midoriya! Bakugo! What are you two doing over there?”

Iidas voice booms across the water, and all 6 of the boys jump back, startled at the intrusion.

“No, wait-“ Bakugo hisses, clawing his way towards the hole to hear the rest of what you had to say, but Sero and Todoroki shove him back and patch the hole up with fire and tape, shutting off your confession.

Deku waves his arms around wildly, stammering some excuse of dropping his towel in the spot where they all were sheepishly gathered. They eventually waded their way over to where Tokoyami had set the drinks down, but the blond was shaking with hot rage despite the cool refreshment that was shoved into his hand by a wary Kirishima.

“Don’t sweat it dude, it’s not like her and Midoriya are gonna da-“

“Finish that sentence and I’ll blast both your and his head off,” he glowers at the redhead, shorting a dark look to where an all-too-happy Deku was chatting with Todoroki, as if they hadn’t been drooling over their naked classmates merely a couple minutes ago.

Kirishima backs off with raised hands in surrender, leaving Katsuki to mull over the situation by himself.

You couldn’t seriously be interested in that green haired freak, right? I mean he could barely talk to a girl without tripping over his own damn tongue, for fucks sake.

Not that he was any better himself. He failed to acknowledge the times where you had merely asked him for an extra pencil, when he snapped at you for being such a fuckin’ dumbass that you couldn’t even remember to bring your own shit. He had done that out of pure impulse, but he regretted it the moment he saw your face fall, his heart clenching at the sight

He’d have to show you that he was the better option, regardless of if you wanted it or not.

And so when they had all gotten out of the water and gotten ready for food, Bakugo already knew what he had to do.

You were all eating outside in the camp pavilion, each at their own separate tables. He was sitting with the boys, all of them joking around and throwing food at each other while he was staring you down.

He couldn’t keep his eyes off you. How could you expect him to, after he had seen half of you bare already? It was sinful almost, the way you were completely in the dark about what he had seen and heard, while he himself was fantasizing about what you looked like and felt like on the front.

So when Deku came by your table, no doubt also having the same conversation of the springs in mind, wanting to get closer to you, Bakugo felt his sanity snap.

The fork he held in his hand started melting in his ignited hand, steam curling from his palm. He watched as the green-eyed fuck made successful shitty attempts to make you laugh, his eyes trained on where you gently laid a hand on his shoulder after something he said that made you throw your head back and howl with glee.

“Hey man, your fork-!” Kaminari yelped, pointing at the disfigured mess of metal in his friend’s steaming hand.

“Huh?” Bakugo was pulled out of his irate daze, and he quickly dropped the fork when he saw what he unconsciously did.

They all looked at him for an uneasy minute after noticing the expression on his face, no doubt understanding he was furious about being compared to Deku once again in front of you.

“Look, Bakugo, don’t really take what Y/N said to heart. We don’t know who she actually likes, and Midoriya’s just her friend...” but Sero trails off hesitantly after glancing in your direction, seeing Deku’s dreamy expression as your hand still continues to rest on his shoulder.

“Just let her come to you, yeah? You don’t wanna force anything on her, that’ll make her really uncomfortable-“

-“Shut the fuck up Shitty Hair, and mind your own damn business,” Bakugo interjects, abruptly unscrewing his drink and standing up, unable to lose you to some broccoli- headed bug-eyed fuck.

He stiffly walks across the pavilion to where you two sit, and feigns a swig from his bottle. Your focus is still on Deku, so you don’t notice him approach until he comes up behind you two and ‘trip’s, falling forward and strategically spilling the liquid all over Deku’s back and your front.

You squeal as your blouse is drenched, and Deku shoots up from his seat to grab some napkins while searching for the perpetrator.

“What the- Kacchan?”

“Oops.”

Bewildered, you look at the two while dabbing the wet splotches on your shirt, Mina and Tsu jumping into action to help you.

The boys exchange a weird look, and although Bakugo gave his version of an apology, he doesn’t look very sorry. In fact, if you saw it right he looked almost...smug? With a bit of anger?

Deku wasn’t any easier to understand either. His voice was lilted as usual while he grabbed napkins, but his gaze never left his childhood friends’ and his eyes weren’t exactly the big doe-eyes you had grown fond of.

They were darkened, and narrowed as they bored into Bakugo’s eyes. Neither one of them was looking away from each other, and there was a weird tension in the air that everyone could sense.

But you couldn’t focus on that right now, you had to go and wash up.

“I gotta change and maybe take a shower, I can feel it sticking to my skin,” you scrunch your nose in disgust and tell Mina as you stand to leave. Deku offers to walk you, but you wave him off kindly.

As you pass by Bakugo, you can feel his eyes rove up and down your body, very obviously staring at the way your white shirt clings to your chest from the liquid, sending chills up your spine.

But he doesn’t come after you, not yet.

It’s only after everyone has finished up from their dinner and headed off to bed almost 20 minutes later that the showers finally, finally warm up enough for you to dip a hesitant toe in.

Curse the old pipes.

*******

He watches you from the dark, the only light you’re provided with is the dim emergency light from the rusty bulb, the camp counselors having been shut the facility’s lights off merely a half hour ago. But you were stubborn in waiting for the water to warm up so you were left alone in the showers, shifting uncomfortably in your sticky wet clothes.

And then miraculously you get up for the umpteenth time to check the temperature of the water, and it’s finally deemed appropriate for you when you sigh in relief and start taking your shoes off.

He hides in the door partition, his cock hardening slowly as he thinks of you alone with just him and his mercy. You were going to pay for almost breaking his heart and prancing around with stupid fucking Deku instead.

But asides from his rage, he still liked you, a lot. He wanted you to want him as much as he wanted you, so he decided to try and attempt to make your first time with him as gentle and as special as he could in the dirty cabin showers.

Bakugo waits with bated breath for the right moment, and the second your hands grip the end of your shirt to pull it up, he slowly emerges from the dark.

“You know, I’m glad you came here alone, at night. It’s almost like you wanted this.”

You jump violently at the low voice coming from seemingly nowhere, and you wildly look around for the source until you see him...coming at you slow from the inky abyss of the room, like a predator stalking his prey.

His figure seems to loom even larger than he actually is, the shadows of his tall body bouncing off the walls and grazing over the top of your head. He seems to be in no rush, taking his time with his hands in his pockets, eyes flashing dangerously at you as he stalks forward until he’s backed you up against the deteriorating wall, chest to chest with you.

“W-what the hell, Bakugo,” you stammer nervously. “This is the girls room, you can’t be here-“

And the hand you raise to push him away is caught in his calloused ones, your other wrist is quickly seized as well and slammed above your head. You cry out in pain and try kicking out, but he wedges a bulky knee in between your thigh and shoves his face mere millimeters away from yours, a mean leer adorning his normally-attractive face.

“What, I can’t be here? And here I was thinking that you almost liked me. But oh, I forgot, Deku’s your favorite, right?” The grip on your wrist tigthens and his leg flexes from in between your thighs.

You squirm and sob, about to ask what the hell he was talking about-

Oh.

Oh no.

He sees the understanding pass over your face, and he laughs cruelly at the horror that comes with it.

“You heard me? How?”

“Not just heard. I saw you, too.”

He lets his eyes drop from your neck, to your chest, and then to the juncture between your legs which was being massaged by his knee.

Tears well up in your eyes as you realize he was watching you this entire evening in the springs. How he got away with it, you didn’t want to even know.

“I saw your hair open for the first time, and not in that stupid hairdo you always do for school.”

He trails his hand softly up the sides of your body and up your neck until he reaches his big hand into your scalp. You whimper and gasp as he laces his fingers through your locks, seeming to caress you but then harshly yanking your head back so you had no choice but to look at him head on.

“I saw your ass pressed up against the rocks, and I wished it was up against my cock instead.”

He removes his hand from your hair and snakes it down to your bottom, kneading and slapping it lightly. You writhe even harder now, too scared to make a noise in case he hurts you even worse, just wanting him to get the hell off of you.

“But I didn’t see the front of you. I imagined what you would look like with tears streaming down your face while I was stuffing you full of me”

He plays with the edge of your shirt, a dark look in his eye as he plays with you. You try to budge your hands but to now avail, only serving in annoying him and shoving his knee up further into your crotch. The pressure on your clit is immense, and your legs start shaking as you’re forced to be suspended almost midair on his knee.

“Take this off,” he says softly, the rasp catching in his voice.

“Bakugo, please. You don’t have to do this, I swear I won’t tell anyone-“

“You think I’m worried about if you’ll tell anyone? Hah! I already know you won’t, wanna know why?”

He leans in, inhaling the scent of your hair and grazing his nose along the side of your neck. You force yourself to breath in and out, feeling an impending heart attack.

“‘Cause if you do, I’ll make sure to fuck you in front of everyone, especially on Deku’s broken body.”

And then you can’t stop them, the tears fall from your body shaking in pure fear at his threat.

You knew he wouldn’t actually do something like that, but hearing it snarled in your ear so softly made you believe it all the same, the power he held while you were fucked, literally and metaphorically.

“Now I’m not gonna ask you again. Take this shit off before I burn it, bitch.”

You don’t want to piss him off further, so with trembling hands you lift the edge of your sticky uniform and start to pull it off, but he stops you with a frustrated grunt.

“Slowly. I wanna savor this while no ones here.”

You bite your lip and suppress a scream as you do what he says.

And oh, does he ever savor it. The shirt clings deliciously to your breasts, and he licks his lips as it ruffles up and over your head. Your skin is perspiring from the humid air, a sheen of sweat lightly decorating your collarbones. Bakugo can’t hold himself back any longer, and you yelp when he comes at you suddenly.

He lunges at your face and pins your arms down by your side again as his lips mesh against yours, his kiss filled with clacking teeth and a thrashing tongue against your lips. The knee you’re straddling is bouncing lightly up and down, jostling you on it and causing your cunt to pulsate with heat.

You let out a distressed moan, and he swallows it greedily, using the advantage of your open mouth to delve deeper into your wet cavern. You open bleary eyes and flinch when you find his already wide open, staring back into unforgiving vermillion orbs.

He pulls back slightly, panting. “I bet Deku didn’t get this kind of treatment, huh? It’s all for me right?”

You don’t know if he’s genuinely asking you or just being insane, so you don’t answer him. Fortunately and unfortunately for you, he doesn’t care for your response, rather more focusing on dragging you by your neck towards the hot showers.

You slip and stumble as he shoves you in a stall, gaining your balance only too late when he turns and locks the door.

“Look, I’m sorry okay? I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, just forget you saw or heard anything at the springs, it was just girl talk, stupid stuff that didn’t mean anything-“

“-even if it didn’t mean anything to you I’ll make sure you believe what you’ll feel after I fuck you senseless.”

And with that, he tugs off his clothes and licks his lips at the sight of you cowering against the wall, naked and oh so vulnerable.

He slowly shifts towards you, pressing his body flush against your trembling one. You can feel the outline of his erection on your thigh, and you swallow at how big it is.

“I don’t wanna have to close your mouth or restrain you when I’m balls deep in that tight cunt. So don’t do anything stupid and this’ll be a whole lot easier for you.”

He reaches a hand down and lightly strokes your labia, relishing in how you whimper and jerk against him, but don’t dare try to stop his hand.

Smart girl

Another hand finds its way to your tits, tugging and pulling at your hardened nipples. You gasp and arch into his touch, slowly coming undone from his ministrations. He humps against your leg like a teenage kid, grunting while he does so.

His mouth is attacking yours once again, but now you’re too tired from the constant surge of adrenaline coursing through your veins to even move your head. You just let him play with your body, your heart, your soul.

“I think the princess is wet enough for me now,” he leers at you when he pulls his fingers away, scissoring his digits to show the strings of wetness he pulled from your pussy.

You squeal and grab onto his chiseled arms as he suddenly hikes his hands underneath your upper thighs and picks you up, forcing your legs to wrap around his middle for support.

He slams you against the wall, the water cascading down your head is making your hair stick to your face, and in a strange and sudden show of intimacy Bakugo softly moves your locks away from your eyes. Your gazes lock, yours desperate and tear filled while his scarlet hues show no signs of mercy, but rather a strange predatory hunger.

Your arms scrabble behind his head and on his shoulders for balance as he slowly sinks you down on his length. You hiss and throw your head back at the sensation of being filled, and he eats it up.

He watches the way your mouth opens, your eyes widen, as every sinful sound your body can make escapes you.

As if he needed more of an ego boost

You wail as the last inches are sucked into your dripping hole, and he lets out a mean breathy laugh.

“Fuck, you really were ready huh? I should’ve taken you weeks ago, little slut.”

Your brows furrow and you try to turn your face away but he snatches your chin in a hardened grip.

“Uh-uh, none of that shit. You were doing so well, don’t turn away from me now.”

He slowly starts to roll his hips minutely into yours, not exactly thrusting but enough movement to make your cunt flutter and throb.

“What do you want me to say? You got what you wanted!” You whisper to him, more tears falling down freely down your cheeks.

He can’t help himself, he groans and surges forward to lick the salty rivers up, gripping your ass tightly when you flinch.

“Tell me you love me. Tell me how much you want me, how much better I am than that green-haired bastard and I won’t shove it up your ass.”

You can feel his abdomen clench and shake from the effort he’s making not to completely batter your cervix so you give in quickly, afraid of what he’s like when his thin strands of self restraint snap.

“I...I love you Bakugo. I really want y-ooh!”

The last bit of your sentence is choked off as he lifts you up all the way to his tip and slams your hips down his length. You gasp and weave your hands through his hair for support, your legs violently shaking at the pain.

He grunts and starts really giving it to you, setting a fast pace as he bounces you on his cock. Your head is bobbing around, you’re fairly certain there’s drool coming down your lips but you can’t find it in you to care as he fucks you into oblivion.

After a couple of more painful thrusts he pushes you against the wall and removes your hands from his hair, holding them above your head against the wall. You’re trapped with your upper half plastered against the dingy tile while your lower half is wrapped his dick.

Your cunt swallowing him down is the only leverage you have, so your whole body weight presses down on his shaft. He moans loudly at the pressure on his tip, your gooey hot walls clamping around him from every angle and you yourself can’t help it when your eyes roll back at the sensation.

He rocks his hips up, and up you go as well, whining and clawing at the wall behind you, desperately grappling onto your sanity as well. Your tits bounce with each thrust, and his glinting eyes take perverse joy in their obscene movements.

Bakugo starts moving in earnst now, deeming the slow strokes enough prep for you. He batters your womb, reaching places not even your fingers could access, making you go cross eyed.

He sees this and snickers at your pathetic state.

“Fuck yeah you little whore. You’re gonna learn no one else can satisfy this slutty pussy like I can.”

You give him nothing but a choked gasp in response. You head moves like a bobblehead, you can’t even see clearly from the water cascading into your eyes. He’s just a towering blob of ashy blond hair and large muscles.

His hips start stuttering in their rhythm, drawing to a close from his contrasting pounding minutes earlier. Your nails rake over his forearms, holding on for dear life as he pants and groans into your ear like an animal. His dick spasms inside you for a second or two, and then Bakugo suddenly holds you tight against him, wet bodies pressed against each other as he cums.

He lets out a loud moan as you whine into his shoulder at the sensation of his hot seed filling you up. You’re held against his heaving chest for a moment of two, the both of you catching your breath until he slowly backs up and lets you slip to the ground.

It’s suddenly very quiet, the sound of the shower is drowned out by the ringing in your head. You’re shaking, shock overcoming your abused body as you refuse to look at him.

But he won’t have any of that. He steps forward, and you flinch yet again, scrambling backwards to put very necessary space between him and you.

“You got what you wanted. Please leave, I won’t say anything to anyone.” You breath out shakily.

He’s silent for a moment before you hear him chuckle. His low chuckles grow louder and more derisive, he’s booming with sinister laughter and you snap your head up in horror at him.

“You think this is done?”

He crouches to your level suddenly, elbows on his knees as he cocks his head at you, eyeing your naked body that he so recently claimed as his. His gaze travels down to where his cum seeps from between your legs, and you quickly cross your limbs over to prevent him from seeing the lewd sight.

“You’re mine now, Y/N. I already told you, you’re not gonna be talking to Deku, or any other guy apart from me. You think they’ll even want you when they find out how you loved being fucked in the dirty showers? Everyone’s gonna call you a slut, nothing else.”

“No, that’s not true you-“

He crawls to you, and it’s so mesmerizingly terrifying to see a man of his build crawl to you like some deranged humanoid that you shut up, words caught in your throat.

“Shut the fuck up.” He says softly. “You’re my bitch now, and you’ll do whatever the fuck I say, when I say it.”

Bakugo might’ve felt a little bad to see the girl he liked so scared of him all because of his doing, but the way you trembled and crossed your legs like the stupid, helpless little girl that you were erased every hesitancy from his mind.

He grabbed your cheeks and smushed them together, paying no mind to the pleas and whimpers you let out in retaliation.

Licking a long stripe up your neck, you shivered when he growled, “now clean up and be outside in 10 minutes, you’re sleeping in my bunk tonight. The guys are all asleep so we’ll just take an empty room in the cabin.”

He released you and stood back up, grabbing a towel for himself along the way. Drying his hair off, his back was turned to you as he started picking his clothes up too.

You just sat there in a daze, wondering what the hell just happened.

“Oh, and Y/N?” He was dressed, and he was at the door now.

“If you think about doing anything stupid or take longer than 10 minutes, I’ll come back in and get you personally. And I’ll make sure that we stay here for the rest of the night, just in case you like your little time alone that I’m giving you too much.”

[zoadgo]

Kinktober Day Twelve | Costumes | hands made of plastic; touch me in a drastic way | Bellamy x Raven | The 100

Words: 2558

Tags: Costumes, College AU, Theater AU, Pre-established relationship, Frottage, Teasing, Orgasm Denial

Note that this is a kinktober prompt fill. It will be explicit smut, and quite likely, kinky. Mind the tags.

ao3

Bellamy is so, so lucky that Raven loves him. Raven reminds herself how much she loves him as she barely stops yet another little freshman without half a brain in his head from ruining the tech panel. She would rather be almost anywhere other than helping out behind the scenes of some random historical play, but Bellamy had asked her so nicely, and he’d stroked her ego when he’d done it, too. How was Raven supposed to say no to that?

“No, no, just stop,” Raven grabs a cable from Myles, who doesn’t even have the excuse of being a freshman for why he was trying to route the audio lines into the wrong pickup ports. “I’ll do it.”

“What should I do, then?” Myles asks, dopey grin on his face like he doesn’t know he’s completely useless. Raven sighs, looking around for any task he can do and not screw up. She spies Bellamy in the corner, looking over his costume, and decides to get a little revenge on him.

“Go help Bellamy, it looks like he could use a hand,” Raven lies with a smile.

Myles hops to it, and Raven chuckles to herself as she finishes the wiring and sets up last minute adjustments. Sound and lighting check is in about five minutes, and thankfully that signals the end of Raven’s involvement. They’d only needed her help with setup, not running the actual play, which is a blessing because although she can work the tech, she doesn’t know a damn thing about the show. She definitely could have paid more attention to Bellamy when he was practicing, but somehow she always gets distracted. Probably because history is boring, and Bellamy dramatically flourishing around their living room in his underwear is all kinds of interesting.

Her conscripted tasks for the evening done, Raven wanders around the chaos of pre show, debating sneaking out while Bellamy’s occupied with Myles. Not that she doesn’t want to watch his play and support him, but she also really wants to watch the new episode of Ghost Adventures and be curled up on the couch. She’d been in the shop all day fixing things, and it had tired her out entirely.

Well… Raven thinks of Bellamy’s topless rehearsals at their apartment. Maybe not entirely. Honestly, it would be fun to see him perform for real, and being a good girlfriend and sticking around is bound to win her some major points. Hopefully that means mind blowing sex tonight. She could really use it, what with the stress of her job on top of encroaching exam season.

“Raven.”

Raven almost jumps as Bellamy speaks behind her. She turns to face him, and her train of thought crashes dramatically. Because okay, Bellamy in his underwear is one thing, but Bellamy in a Spartan outfit? God, if Raven believed in luck, she’d consider herself extremely lucky. She shamelessly ogles him; the sculpted chest, red cape, leather skirt, muscular thighs… They even mussed his hair up artfully for this role, hot damn, he looks incredible.

“Hey, stop staring so I can be mad at you,” Bellamy chides, and Raven drags her attention away from his shoulders to his face.

“Mad? For what?” She asks, the perfect picture of innocence. Bellamy shakes his head, but he doesn’t hide his small smile.

“You send Myles to me again and you’re sleeping on the couch for a week,” Bellamy threatens half-heartedly, and Raven scoffs.

“Oh please, I pass out there every night during exams anyway. Come up with a better threat or I’ll give him your number and tell him you really, really want to be friends with him.”

“No sex for a week,” Bellamy says flatly, crossing his arms over his chest. Raven gasps dramatically.

“You wouldn’t.”

“He tried to take my pants off for me, Ray,” Bellamy grumbles, glaring over his shoulder at Myles, who seems perfectly happy over in his corner messing up the scenery.

Raven barely smothers her outright laughter, “Well, I mean, I can’t exactly blame him-”

“No, no flirting, I’m scolding you right now,” Bellamy cuts her off, only managing to look half serious. Raven chuckles, sliding her hands up his chest to rest on his shoulders. Yeah, Spartan is definitely a good look for him, it lets Raven get her hands on his skin so easily.

“If I say I’m sorry will you forgive me?” Raven asks, still grinning. Bellamy shakes his head again, looking over her shoulder.

“You know that usually not how apologies work, right? You can’t ask if the person will forgive you before apologizing-”

“Oh hush,” Raven takes her turn at cutting him off, stretching up to press a kiss to his lips. Bellamy resists for a moment, but it doesn’t take long before he relents, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to him.

“Blake, stage in 90 seconds,” some stagehand interrupts their kiss without any hesitation, and Bellamy breaks away from Raven with a sigh. She steps out of his embrace, giving his shoulders one last squeeze before he turns to take the stage.

“Knock ‘em dead,” Raven encourages, giving him a firm slap on the ass right as he gets his cue to go on.

Okay, yeah, he’s definitely going to kill her later. But he deserves a little bit of light tormenting for making her come out here when her plans had been to binge watch Ghost Adventures all evening. Raven peers out onto the stage from the wings and settles for watching Bellamy’s abs as he swings around a foam sword and makes inspirational speeches that she’s heard a million times before.

When the final scene ends and everyone takes their bows to roaring applause, Raven still couldn’t summarize the play if someone were holding a gun to her head. It’s not her fault, okay, Bellamy just looks really, incredibly good in that outfit. Like, good enough to distract her from all the work she has to do and all the studying she hasn’t done, which is saying something.

When Bellamy comes backstage, grinning widely, she practically flings herself at him. He catches her, of course, and this time he doesn’t resist in the slightest when she kisses him. He makes a vague noise of surprise when she fists her hands in his cape and bites his lower lip, but he doesn’t push her away. He presses down into her, letting Raven deepen the kiss, and she sighs happily.

After a moment, Raven breaks away, dragging her gaze over all of Bellamy’s muscled glory once more. She has to admit, even the fake blood and dirt of the final scenes is sort of doing it for her.

“Yeah, we’re so borrowing this,” Raven states, and Bellamy chuckles.

“I don’t think we can just borrow costumes-” He starts, before the costume lead, Harper, interrupts him.

“Pay to replace it and it’s yours, as long as we don’t have to work around you two making out anymore.”

Bellamy looks mildly sheepish at that, but Raven doesn’t care at all. She weighs the options as she toys with the edges of Bellamy’s cape. “You take IOUs?”

Harper sighs, shaking her head, “If it gets you to stop eye-fucking him in front of us, yes.”

“Sold,” Raven agrees with a devilish grin, “Now let’s get out of here, Mr. 300.”

“That’s not what this was even about, and besides-”

“Do I have to listen to you talk about history in order to get you to keep the costume on?” Raven teases as she grabs Bellamy’s hand, dragging him out of the building. He takes a few large steps to catch up with her and throw his arm around her shoulder.

“Yes,” Bellamy states soundly, “Now, this play was about…”

Raven hears about thirty percent of what he says, which is pretty impressive considering he idly plays his fingers along her shoulder as they walk back to their apartment, and she can smell his bare skin and sweat so close to her. With any other partner, that’s always been a turn off, but Bellamy’s different. Especially now, somehow it just feeds into that image of strong warrior which is doing all sort of nice things in Raven’s pants.

Somehow, she manages to make it back to their apartment without pouncing on him. Probably the fact that listening to Bellamy talk about his passions is distractingly endearing helps; she may not understand or care about the subject matter, but she does care about him and loves seeing him excited.

As soon as the door is locked behind them, Raven fully intends to spring herself on Bellamy. But before she can do that, Raven’s back hits the wall and the air leaves her lungs in a soft puff. She grins eagerly as Bellamy crowds against her, all bare chest and fake leather. He crushes his lips into hers, heavy and hungry, and Raven presses back in kind. As their lips drag together, she slides her palms over his pecs, delighting in the firm play of his muscles underneath her touch.

With a grunt, Bellamy grabs Raven’s wrists and pins them to the wall above her head, touch more firm than usual. Raven’s breath catches in her throat at it, heat flooding between her legs, and she barely chokes down a whimper. Okay, normally she’s the more aggressive one, turning things around so she’s on top, but this is totally fine with her.

Bellamy holds both of her wrists in one hand, running his free one up under her shirt. His calloused hands drag over the sensitive skin of her stomach, mapping the skin there before shifting upward. Bellamy breaks his mouth from hers, and Raven chases his lips with a small moan. But then he slips his hand under her sports bra, palming her breast and roughly squeezing, and Raven’s head falls back against the wall. She bites her lower lip, trying to hold back as Bellamy continues handling her with such a callous touch.

On any other night, by now Raven would have walked them to the bed, or spun them so Bellamy’s pinned to the wall. But something about the image of him, dressed like an ancient warrior, makes this sort of domineering contact more desirable. Her eyes fixates on the blood red of his cape, the faux leather straps holding it in place, and Raven whimpers as he harshly pinches a nipple.

“You really like this outfit, huh?” Bellamy rumbles in his deep sex voice, and a deep shudder runs through Raven as the tone of it sends need coursing through her.

“Not my fault you're too sexy for your own good,” Raven retorts, entirely fairly. Bellamy chuckles, a low, sensual sound than wreaks just as much havoc on her as his voice.

Bellamy presses a kiss to Raven’s temple, a surprisingly sweet gesture that confuses her, but all that confusion flies right from her mind as Bellamy rolls his hips against hers. Raven’s breath stutters as he does it again, friction burning through her jeans and pressing against where she’s burning for him. It feels impossibly good, and although Raven definitely wants more to ease the deep ache within herself, she’s quite sure she could lose herself in the feeling.

Bellamy sets an infuriatingly slow pace, but each filthy roll of his hips is hard enough that Raven could swear he’s almost fucking her through her jeans. She tries to rock back against him, to take some control of the pace and make him move it along a bit quicker, but Bellamy grabs her hip. He stops his motions for a moment, simply holding her in place, wrists and waist.

Raven feels a needy little whine creep from her; she’d just been starting to feel incredible, the loss of friction is killing her. Luckily, Bellamy takes mercy on her, grinding against her once more. Raven’s eyes flutter shut as pleasure pulses in her core once more, and this time she doesn’t try to chase it. She lets Bellamy lead the way, motions heavy and intense, simply gives herself over to it.

Raven breathes heavy, dragging her eyes over everything she can look at, but can’t touch. Her gaze settles between them, watching Bellamy’s abs flex with every roll of his hips.The power there, being set to the purpose of her pleasure, is intoxicating. He looks incredible, the dark brown leather bringing out the warmer tones in his skin. And of course, the sprays of stage dirt highlighting the valleys of his muscles don't hurt either.

Bellamy jerks his hips more abruptly against Raven’s, almost a thrust rather than a grind. It startles a gasp out of Raven and sends a bolt of pure desire racing right to her cunt. God, at this rate she’s going to cream her jeans, and she wouldn’t even be that made about. She’s pretty sure she's already making good inroads on soaking through them, anyway.

Raven has a hard time thinking straight as her pleasure begins building to a peak, harsh friction and confinining heat of her pants overwhelming her. Her heart races, breath shaking, and if Bellamy only keeps it up for another few moments, she’ll come undone just like this. Which she wants, oh yes, she wants it so bad...

“Are you close?” Bellamy rumbles the question in her ear, and Raven nods, panting heavily. She can feel his smile, in how his cheek creases against hers. “Good.”

With that, Bellamy steps away, holding her in place against the wall and leaving her aching. Raven can’t even think straight for the moment, orgasm so close and then ruthlessly ripped away. She glares up at Bellamy, still panting.

“No fair!” Raven protests, and Bellamy just smirks.

“I believe I did say no sex for a week unless you promised to never set Myles on me again. Which you still haven’t promised,” Bellamy gloats. How the hell can he look so composed, when she knows he must be in absolute agony inside the fake leather codpiece? And how can he still be so hot, when he’s just lady blue balled her?

A part of Raven really wants to take the high ground, brush him off, and go finish herself off in the bathroom. But most of her is desperate for him to touch her again, and she’s really not bound to the idea of using Myles as a form of torment for any reason other than stubbornness.

“Well?” Bellamy asks, still smiling. He leans down and kisses her shoulder, which is honestly cheating. Raven gives up with a sharp sigh.

“This is madness,” Raven gives up with a sharp sigh, “Fine, I promise, I promise. Just, Bellamy, please-”

She doesn’t get any further before Bellamy returns his hips to hers, rutting against her once more. Within seconds of frantic friction, Raven drops her head to Bellamy’s chest, hands clenching into fists in his grasp. She gasps Bellamy’s name, and vaguely feels him kiss the top of her head as she shivers against him. As the pleasure ebbs, Bellamy releases her. Raven presses her lips to his pec, running her hands into his hair.

“We’d better have incredible sex this week, since you won that bargain,” Raven demands. Bellamy chuckles, scooping her up bodily and carrying her over to the bed.

“As my lady commands.”

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: Love, Love, Love

Masterpost

5x01: Love, Love, Love

Hello season 5! It’s so lovely to see you.  I love this episode - it’s the Beatles, and it’s the Klaine proposal, and it kicks off my personal favorite season of the show (oops did I say that out loud?). Funny enough, Kurt’s not in this episode a whole lot - but! There’s so much Kurt in this season it’s crazy, so let’s dig in! 

This episode is so my happy place. 

Got to Get You (Back) Into My Life

I’m so glad that Ryan Murphy decided to let this season be bright and colorful - comparatively to a drabber and somewhat more serious season 4.  It’s funny - because this entire season will be haunted by the the tragedy that happened bts. But there’s also a lot of joy and happiness and downright crackiness that defines the season, too.  It’s such an interesting mix of things. 

So, anyway, despite this being a huge episode for Kurt - he’s only in a few scenes, his first one here with Blaine some ten minutes into the episode.  

When last we saw Kurt, he was getting much more comfortable with Blaine again, even if he claimed he wasn’t going to hook up with him, and he told some lesbians they weren’t a couple.  But I do believe the end of last season, even if we didn’t get much in the way of Kurt explicitly stating so, he’s entertaining the idea of getting back with Blaine.  He’s healed quite a bit in the six months they’ve been apart (Yeah - it’s supposed to be March here, lol).  And Blaine’s relentless showering of love and affection only bolsters his own feelings.  

His dad’s fine, school is fine, New York is fine, maybe, just maybe he and Blaine can be fine, too. 

We open up with this picnic.  And as a time reference, I believe this is during Kurt’s spring break - because Blaine’s mentions Kurt finally going back to school.  And you know - there’s such an ease between these two.  This conversation is light and playful and a little desperate on Blaine’s side, but Kurt knows exactly where this conversation is going, and he’s delighted by it - enough to taunt Blaine a little by holding back purposely.

Okay before I go too much further though, let’s talk about the dialogue they cut from the opening of this scene:

Kurt: This farewell picnic is the perfect send off, though. Blaine: One might even call it romantic. Kurt: One might. Blaine: So, what are we doing here? Kurt: I thought we were swearing off labels. Blaine: I love you, Kurt. I’m sorry if that freaks you out, but this part, the romance and love part, I’m good, I’m done, I want you. Kurt: It doesn’t freak me out -- not in a bad way.

Oy this show - sometimes cutting things I really like (most of the time no, but this episode, yeah).  Also - this all happens before Blaine inquires about New York guy.

Anyway, the reason I’m including it here is that I like the insinuation that Kurt and Blaine had talked about what the status of their relationship was - and puts Blaine’s actions in a little more context.  There could have been a conversation way back in I Do - where they continued to sleep together that weekend but Kurt insisted it wasn’t called anything but friends with benefits.  They could have done things over Skype - and hence had a ‘let’s not label this’ conversation.  I do think, despite Kurt claiming they wouldn’t, before this picnic, they fell into bed together again.  

And I do think that had this stayed in, Kurt would have played the moment playfully.  Because he knows exactly where this is headed.  He knows he wants Blaine just as much.  

So about that New York guy.  Ha. 

Okay - so yeah, I wish that the Adam part of the story would have been more complete - that we would have seen Kurt try to date him but ultimately realize, yeah, no, I want Blaine.  I mean - while we were all pretty sure where the story was going, it never really got a proper resolution after 4x15.  And this is almost like tying up a loose end. 

But I like what Kurt says here, and how he says it.  He liked Adam fine, but it wasn’t serious.  I mean in the middle of “dating” Adam - he slept with Blaine, c’mon.  But Kurt is so dismissive of the whole thing.  It wasn’t about whether or not he liked Adam. It was about if he could forgive Blaine for cheating on him.  And that’s one of the things I find so fascinating about this story - it’s always about the conflict within themselves and between each other. Third parties are always arbitrary and inconsequential.  And merely placeholders (or plot devices) while one of them deals with their shit.  

(As an aside - the comment about people like them together is completely a fourth wall break.  The writers knew there were non-Klaine fans out there, and this is them saying, yeah, we hear you, don’t really care though.)  

The real point here is that last time they tried long distance, Blaine cheated on him.  But Blaine’s grown and healed a lot, too, since the beginning.  Even amidst the playfulness, Kurt is slightly hesitant.  He knows he loves Blaine.  He knows they’re going to be together.  But he also doesn’t want to ever be hurt like that again.  

But let’s talk about Kurt’s playfulness in the scene.  When was the last time we saw Kurt this open with Blaine? This relaxed and having fun? He knows exactly what Blaine wants, and he continues to deflect at every turn - sign a no-cheating contract, do relationships really work?, weren’t Bethany and Jason supposed to be forever?  He’s totally stringing Blaine along.  

Labels or no. They’re already back together.  It’s just a matter of saying it out loud. 

I love that when Kurt finally stops screwing around and says they’re going try a relationship again - he’s so damn giddy and excited about it.  They get to be Kurt and Blaine again.  And Kurt can follow his heart openly again.  Oh, kiddo. 

Also, cut from the script - another moment where Blaine leans in and kisses him.  **shakes-fist**

So - I want to take a sec and talk about the costuming.  Glee’s costume department has always been one of the most competent things on the show.  And Klaine has always had a way of matching.  But I think they begin to out do themselves this season.  Kurt and Blaine’s outfits here not only look fantastic on them - but they are complimentary colors to each other - and it makes this already gorgeous scene look brilliant.  And -- these are almost toned down versions of the colors they’ll be wearing for the proposal.  It love it.  Brilliant work costume guys.  ;) 

Anyway, Blaine says he has something planned and Kurt shuts that down pretty quickly.  And I think it’s interesting - not just because Kurt has his own serenade ready and waiting, but because it’s not about Blaine serenading Kurt anymore.  It’s about them being in an equal relationship, and doing things for each other.  

But also - I spoke of this pattern back during It’s Time - it does seem right that this is the last time they sing in the courtyard, because look at the pattern: 

S2 Somewhere Only We Know - Kurt is coming back to McKinley, and leaving Blaine at Dalton. 

S3 It’s Not Unusual - Blaine is coming to be with Kurt at McKinley

S4 It’s Time - Kurt is leaving McKinley to go to New York

S5 Got to Get You Into My Life - Blaine will be leaving McKinley to be with Kurt in New York. 

There’s a lot of coming and going, but ultimately, they’ll both be leaving McKinley together, as a couple, for New York, which is where they’re supposed to be - so on another level beyond these two are adorable singing to each other - it’s incredibly fitting that they’re singing this together.  

Trying to still this song was a miserable experience, so I’m going with a BTS shot instead - thank you, greatly, to those of you who sent me this pic <3  This is a gorgeous shot of Chris/Kurt, and here we can see the whole outfit in all its glory.  Also, anyone else notice the huge number of butt shots during this performance? I wonder if that was intentional, huh. 

Kurt says that he has this planned - which means he had already decided to get back together with Blaine before this conversation took place.  But it makes me wonder, did he decided to do this on his own? Or had he found out Blaine’s plans and took control of it for himself? Idk - interesting....  

So - you guys know that this song is about doing drugs, right? This is a love song to pot - or whatever they were on at the time, lol.  

But I mean, love is a drug, too.  

I feel like this song is pretty self-explanatory, and incredibly fitting for a couple of codependent little lovestuck goobers. 

Ooh, then I suddenly see you Ooh, did I tell you I need you Every single day of my life You didn't run, you didn't lie You knew I wanted just to hold you And had you gone you knew in time we'd meet again For I had told you Ooh, you were meant to be near me Ooh, and I want you hear me Say we'll be together every day Got to get you into my life

I love this performance.  While not my favorite Beatles song, it’s just such a fun number.  They’re playful and incredibly flirty, and very themselves, and that ending kiss.  Damn.  It’s not just that it’s hot - cause, yeah.  But because it’s a declaration of their love in a very, very public space.  Remember when Blaine once just tapped Kurt on the shoulder because they were on the stairs outside? 

Season 5 Glee, and season 5 Klaine, do not give a fuck.  

I’m rounding this out with the Sue’s first line in the next scene

Sue: America, your prayers have been answered. 

Getting Better

So, I want to take a second to talk about the one big Kurt scene they cut from the script.  Originally, and it was filmed because we have bts stills, there was a scene involving Kurt and the girls sleeping over at the school (Why the school, god who knows.)  

Deleted Kurt/Ladies Scene from Love Love Love**

(**Note - this isn’t the full cut scene, I’ll explain in a minute.) 

The reason I bring it up, since I’m normally a huge advocate of ignoring what’s in the script, is because it has some interesting tidbits in it.  

First of all - it’s a scene with all the girls and Kurt.  Even in the New York arc - WE NEVER GET THIS! This is kind of like Kurt’s bachelor(ette?) party and it is one aspect of the wedding stuff we don’t get at all - even with Brittana.  I realize that stuff is kind of TV cliche but dammit - they’re also usually really fun, too.  So I’m sad to lose this scene for that. 

It also shows that Kurt’s very in the know about Blaine’s proposal plans (I mean, god, Blaine is the least subtle goober on the planet) and that Kurt’s initial reaction is, god yeah sign me up for this. 

Also - this bit of dialogue: 

Kurt: [...] I’ve dreamt about marrying Prince Charming ever since I saw my first Disney movie -- I just never thought it would be possible. But the world’s changed and more than anything...I want Blaine and me to be apart of that change. 

Aw, Kurt, you little goober.  That would have been so sweet to hear you actually say.  **shakes-fist again**

They also cut a song - Getting Better that Kurt and the girls would have sang. (This, btw, was already omitted by the time the script I have was produced.)  On the surface - this sounded like a good idea, especially when Kurt singing would be great over a second Artie/Kitty duet.  

Here are some of the lyrics: 

I've got to admit it's getting better (Better) A little better all the time (It can't get more worse) I have to admit it's getting better (Better) It's getting better since you've been mine

It’s a nice little sentiment for Kurt to sing, right? 

Well - here’s later on: 

I used to be cruel to my woman I beat her and kept her apart from the things that she loved Man I was mean but I'm changing my scene And I'm doing the best that I can (Ooh)

**scrunches nose** Yeah, maybe it was best they cut this. 

Meanwhile, the one reason I’m glad this scene was cut? At the very end (apparently not in that link I gave you) - Santana gives this whole speech painting marriage as the worst thing two people can do, and it makes Kurt doubt the idea of getting married.  Because, according to the script, he never really thought about the future.  And I really call BS on this.  Because we have seen that Kurt is an incredible planner, has already thought about he and Blaine getting old, and part of the whole break up stuff was Kurt living in the future instead of living in the past.  So it just doesn’t add up. 

Plus - I think leaving Kurt’s insecurities with just the Burt/Kurt scene works a whole lot better than what this scene does.  

Fatherly Advice

You know - you can’t go wrong with a Kurt/Burt scene.  And this is one of my favorites. 

Kurt’s, understandably, nervous about this whole proposal business.  It’s not the proposal itself, it’s not because he doesn’t love Blaine - and I love, LOVE that he explicitly states here what Blaine means to him, that he feels safe and connected and loved with Blaine -- it’s because they are young, and because they just got back together, and no I don’t think Kurt is fully healed from that break up yet.  (I don’t think he will be until the second one - when he screws up the relationship** and learns that relationships don’t have to to be perfect.) 

**I’m saying this as a blanket statement - obviously the situation is far more complicated, but I’ll save that discussion when I get to season 6. 

Kurt’s perfect relationship broke once, and there is a part of him that doesn’t entirely trust that it can work again.  It’s not so much Blaine as it is Kurt’s not really ready to be put in this position yet.  (And - interestingly, Blaine’s pushing Kurt is part of the reason the season 6 break up happens -- though most of it’s really about Kurt being dumb, but anyway....) 

It’s funny that Burt tells Blaine that he should marry a person and not an idea, which is what Blaine’s doing a little bit.  But also that Kurt’s scared of the idea more than the person, and that’s a problem, too.  

Anyway, I love Burt’s speech during this scene.  We learn more about Kurt’s mom - and how Burt knew almost immediately that she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life.  I’d go out on a limb and say Hummels know how to commit.  ;)  Burt talks about being young, and the fantasies about what being together would be like (which involved dancing in their underwear, sex, and pasta, lol), but he also gets real and says it’s also about fighting over bills and spoiled milk.  But when you get down to it, you have a short time on this planet - and you hold the people you love dearly closely to you.  

And, interestingly, Kurt’s somewhat living in the future again.  What if I get hurt badly again? What if we ruin this good thing I’ve just let back into my life? What if, what if, what if?  Kurt wants more time -- but Burt says - hey, you get to make your own choices now, so make one.  Oh Burt, you’re so wise. 

But also, what Burt says here is going to linger over the rest of the Kurt and Klaine story.  We’re going to see Klaine have good times and rocky times.  Burt’s warning about it being a hard thing is something Kurt’s going to not be able to deal with come season 6.  But also Burt’s words are why it makes complete sense to me that Kurt will later get married on a whim when he and Blaine get back together a second time. 

It’s funny that these two have a habit of - they’ll break up, and then when they get back together commit even more to each other.  (Though, no, I don’t believe they’ll break up after they get married.)  Burt’s words last us through the end of the series - only Burt speaks of experience, and Kurt still has to learn that.  

And Kurt takes the first step as he heads towards Dalton to make his decision. 

All You Need is Love

Kurt’s look of wonder as he heads up to Dalton.  I don’t know what Kurt was thinking he was getting - but I don’t think he realized that his proposal would be ripped straight out of one of those Disney movies -- all beauty and music and extravagance and love and Blaine being that incredible Disney Prince that he had always dreamed of.  And, oh hey, there are all his friends, and the people he knows and yes, of course Kurt knows the significance of coming back to this place - the place where their story began. 

Kurt - as he wanders through Dalton, amazed and amused by the theatrical display going on around him.  He was unsure until he saw Blaine - but once he saw Blaine, and let Blaine take him on this magical, romantic tour, Kurt was reminded of one aspect that really is a part of their love story.  The fairy tale romance.  And it still is, even as many times as this show is going to show us a more realistic side.  Here is the grand musical-esque gesture that, let’s be honest, Kurt has loved all his life.  It probably is one of those out of reality moments - it’s just that crazy. 

It’s funny - because the song is All You Need is Love.  And anyone who has been in a long term relationship will tell you that the song is idealistic at best.  Love isn’t all that you need - as Burt explained to us somewhat in the speech coming over.  But it is a foundation for something great to be built.  And their romance is that something great. 

Kurt is so overwhelmed, but in a very, very good way.  I mean - there’s freakin’ rose petals coming from the ceiling.  Damn, Blaine.  

And man - does this scene push all the right nostalgia buttons as Kurt comes down that staircase like the day they met.  Kurt gets that - and I think the reality that this is really happening - this fantasy that he really dreamed over - that this sweet, wonderful man will ask him for forever. 

Blaine:  We met right here. I took this man's hand and we ran down that hallway. And for those that know me, I'm not in the habit of taking people's hands I've never met before but I think that my soul knew something that my mind and body didn't know yet. It knew that our hands were meant to hold each others, fearlessly and forever, which is why it's never really felt like I've been getting to know you, it's always felt like I was remembering you from something. As if every lifetime you and I have lived, we've chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again, over and over for all eternity. And I just feel so lucky that I found you so soon in this lifetime because all I want to do, all I've ever wanted to do is spend my life loving you. So Kurt Hummel, my amazing friend, my one true love, will you marry me?

Kurt: Yeah. Yes.

This speech is one of the most beautiful things the show ever wrote.  And watching Kurt’s face during all of this? He’s so moved.  He loves this man, so, so much.  He doesn’t say a word during this, he doesn’t have to.  His face says it all as all the emotions come rushing forward.  

I love that, despite the public setting, despite everyone being around them, it’s a very intimate and personal moment.  (Um, maybe because the camera’s so close, lol.)  Kidding aside - this moment, where Blaine asks Kurt to marry him is not about the spectacle (though these goobers do get off on the spectacle), it’s about declaring their love for another - it’s about committing full-heartedly.  

And I kind of love that Kurt’s so emotional that it takes him a second to respond - a breathy ‘yeah’ cause that’s all he can manage.  Blaine’s once again taken his breath away. 

Kurt went in not knowing what to expect, but by the end - it’s yes -- yes this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.  His heart takes over for his brain for once, and he’s all in, wherever that might take them.   

(And I mean - Kudos to both Chris and Darren on their acting here - they sell this couple so damn well, I can’t even.  Just, yeah.) 

Alright, so I’m probably cheating using another BTS shot - but I love the full body shot of the kiss.  I mean look at these goobers putting the puzzle back together with a kiss.  And those suits are just so gorgeous - I cannot compliment the costume department enough. 

Now - for opinion time -- for me, I see this as more than a proposal - I see this more as their spiritual marriage.  It’s designed to look like a wedding in its scope, with Kurt walking down an aisle and his dad taking him up there and the bridesmaids waiting at his side and the groom ready for him.  (God - does that mean Will is the priest?) But for me - this is their wedding, and everything after this (because dreams come true, not free) is learning to navigate that kind of committed relationship.  But season 6!! Yeah - but season 6.  They’re going to fuck up again - because of all the reasons Burt says here - they’re young, and dumb, and have never done this before.  

But yeah, their wedding doesn’t really compare to it (even if the writing of that episode was pitch perfect, idk if they could have topped this).  It’s more a technical, yes they’re legally married now.  But here - here starts that second half of the journey, the -- what comes after happily ever after -- stuff that I find so fun and interesting.  Most stories stop at happily ever after.  I’m grateful that we get to see that it’s not all perfect beyond.  

I mean - we are still in the middle of this story, not at the end ;) 

But yeah - I love this moment so, so much.  And I love that Kurt gets to have this happy moment, big and romantic and ending with a kiss and a promise of forever with the man he loves.  :) 

I’m including the whole thing here - because it’s such a thing of beauty.  The boys look gorgeous in their suits, Dalton is beautifully lit, Blaine’s speech is really just pitch perfect.  Everything about this scene is amazing and wonderful and romantic and I encourage you to watch it again.  It may be my favorite moment in the entire series.  

Oh season 5 - how I do adore you.  :) 

[kidsviral-blog]

How Gordon Ramsay's "MasterChef Junior" Became The Cutest Cooking Show On TV

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/how-gordon-ramsays-masterchef-junior-became-the-cutest-cooking-show-on-tv/

How Gordon Ramsay's "MasterChef Junior" Became The Cutest Cooking Show On TV

Mix precocious 10-year-olds with a famously volatile host and add large knives and open flames. How MasterChef Junior’s recipe for trainwreck TV instead became a heartwarming twist on the cooking competition show.

The 12-year-old boy standing in front of Gordon Ramsay has just started to cry. He’s wearing a floral bow tie, a plaid collared shirt tucked neatly into slim black jeans, and a bright white apron tied at the waist with his name embroidered on it in all caps, “LOGAN,” along with the logo of the show on which he is one of the final eight contestants, MasterChef Junior. His two front teeth are gapped, and his sandy blond hair is parted way over on one side. When he grows up, Logan wants to be an oceanographer, an astronaut, a chef, and a garbageman. The restaurant he plans to open someday will be called “O’s Underwater Bistro” and it will have special bubbles, some “executive bubbles” and some “romantic bubbles,” where customers will dine floating around underwater separate from the main restaurant, like in submarines.

But today, Logan has overcooked and underseasoned the rice in what he says would be the signature dish at his underwater bistro. The 82-pound, 4-foot-11-inch boy from Memphis, who, unlike some of the other contestants, can actually see over the cooking counters on the MasterChef set, has had one hour to create this dish, presumably without any adult assistance. And though his perfectly seared steak has “nice char and color,” the plate overall is too simple — lackluster, Ramsay says. As the British celebrity chef tells Logan that “the judges have come to expect more from you, young man,” a tear so giant that even I can see it from behind the cameras 30 feet away drops off Logan’s cheek and hits the floor. The boy’s shoulders curve forward, his head drops, and he’s sobbing.

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Ramsay comforts Logan after critiquing his dish. Greg Gayne / FOX

Producers backstage stop whispering into their mics. The cameramen are still and tense. No one likes to see a child cry. But then Ramsay, who has seven Michelin stars, 25 restaurants, and a reputation for calling the cooks on his TV shows things like “miserable wee bitch” and “you fucking donkey” does something unexpected: He steps forward, hugs the child, and tells him it’s going to be OK, that he did his best. When Logan returns to his station, no longer crying, the other children comfort him and tell him he’s a great cook.

In spring 2013, when Fox announced it was going to air a kid-centric spin-off of its amateur cooking competition MasterChef with 8- to 13-year-olds, it sounded horribly annoying — like a desperate attempt to revive a played-out format. The built-in precociousness of the concept was off-putting: 12-year-olds talking about Sriracha foam. And who wants to watch kids being mean to one another or judges hurting their feelings? “Fox’s Junior MasterChef to find newer, younger chefs to disappoint Gordon Ramsay,” wrote the AV Club.

But when the show debuted last fall, it was absolutely delightful. Now, three episodes into its second season, it’s still so good. MasterChef Junior’s first season was the highest-rated broadcast show in its Friday evening time slot among adults 18 to 49. It performed especially well in DVR and got good reviews. This season it is upgraded to a coveted Tuesday evening spot and averages a solid 5.3 million total viewers.

Seeing Ramsay’s gentler, helpful side is reason alone to watch. But the kids are the real stars because they (and the producers in the control room) turn the reality cooking show on its head by making it more heartwarming than cutthroat — they actually are here to make friends. They are more than happy to lend one another ingredients and help during the challenges. They often cry when anyone is sent home because they are sad for their friend. They release piercing screams of delight when a food for the next challenge is revealed (“Yaaaay! Pancakes!”), and collapse on the floor with relief when they aren’t sent home. And there is a visual spectacle: They have to jump to reach ingredients in the pantry and stand on boxes to cook at the counters; the scale is off. Meanwhile, the dishes they make are very impressive and just messy enough to be believable. Basically, everything they do and say is ridiculous, and yet it makes so much more sense than what adults do on television.

While we may know better than to believe everything we see on reality TV, the question remains: Are these kids as good as they seem? And if not, would that make the show any less fun?

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Greg Gayne / FOX

Like many of our reality shows, MasterChef is a European export. The adult version is based on a BBC show that initially ran from 1990 to 2001, and the brand was exported globally. More than 40 countries have adapted the show — there’s a MasterChef Italia, MasterChef Pakistan, MasterChef China, and more. The kid spin-off was first introduced in 1994 in the U.K. and has been produced in 15 different countries.

Even so, the American show’s executive producers Robin Ashbrook and Adeline Ramage Rooney, who also produce on the adult version, say they had a hard time getting Fox to sign on for Junior.

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Kid Nation Monty Brinton / CBS

The not-distant memory of CBS’s failure with Kid Nation must have been a consideration. The 2007 show put 40 children ages 8 to 15 in a New Mexico ghost town and asked them to create a viable society without adult supervision, then was canceled amid allegations of child abuse, child labor law disputes, and a New York Times article about the insane contracts the parents signed. That same year, Bravo ordered eight episodes of Top Chef Junior with 13- to 16-year-olds, which never aired. (Bravo did not respond to a request for an explanation why.)

“You could go to anybody in the world and go, ‘Right, so we’ve got Gordon Ramsay,’ and they’d go, ‘But he shouts at people,’” Ashbrook says. “And you’d say, ‘And we’ve got this show with ovens and knives and hot dishes — and then we’re going to do it with kids.’ So on that pitch you’d be like, ‘You’re fucking out of your mind.’”

In 2012, while taping the third season of adult MasterChef, Ashbrook and Rooney taped a mystery box challenge with a group of kids — each got a box with the same surprise ingredients and had to create a dish. They sent the tape to Fox. It worked.

When the casting call went out, the press was especially critical that the kids would be as young as 8. But Rooney says having younger kids for MasterChef Junior was essential.

“Once you get to 14 to 17, they might be more skilled, but they’ve also kind of shut down a lot more,” she says. “So they’re not as good for TV, frankly.”

The rest of the show is almost identical to the adult version of MasterChef, which just aired its fifth season. The other two judges are New York restaurateur and winemaker Joe Bastianich and Chicago chef Graham Elliot. The set’s the same, the format’s the same, and the production, editing, and culinary team are almost exactly the same.

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Greg Gayne / FOX

“We want it to be a show that is co-viewed with parents and that our Hell’s Kitchen fans would watch, so we didn’t want to neuter Gordon,” Rooney says, referring to one of Ramsay’s other four shows currently on Fox in which he verbally abuses aspiring chefs cooking in competition for a job at one of his restaurants.

The Gordon Ramsay who appears on MasterChef Junior is a completely different judge — helpful, goofy, and sweet — so that you start to understand why some of the people who work for him show an irrational-seeming loyalty in the face of his insulting tirades and long list of scandals.

“Firm but fair. I liken it to a soccer coach,” Ramsay says of his attitude toward the kids on the show. “If you want your child to succeed — a ballerina, become the next basketball superstar, or play for the Dodgers — then you will push them.”

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Greg Gayne / FOX

The eight kids who remain in the competition on Episode 4 in Season 2 stand in a row in front of a stage where the three judges are also standing in a row. They’re on a set on the Paramount lot in Los Angeles where they’ve been staying at a nearby hotel with their parents for the first two weeks of the three-and-a-half-week production. They’re ready to find out what the first challenge of the episode will be.

Ramsay’s voice has more bravado and is much louder than the other judges’. He wanders around set with an enormous, devious presence that makes even off-camera moments feel like reality TV.

A production guy coming from the behind-the-scenes kitchen rolls a cart near the set and tells me to be careful, please don’t put your coffee on this. Covered by a cloche, this plate is handed to the judges a minute later when they announce the challenge.

“There is one ingredient that every chef relies on,” Ramsay says. His voice rises with booming excitement to build the moment where he lifts the cloche: “It’s simple. It’s glorious. And delicious! It is an…egg.”

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Greg Gayne / FOX

“Duuuuuuuh,” says Oona, an extremely bright 9-year-old with big eyes and dark hair pulled into messy pigtails. Oona’s favorite TV show of all time is Alton Brown’s Good Eats; she’s seen every single episode and most of them several times over. Oona’s dad, a Yale Law School professor, says he wasn’t inclined to let her watch MasterChef Junior when the show first came out: “My picture of reality TV was snarky adults saying mean things to each other,” he says. “We didn’t want her to see that.” But the show wasn’t that, so he and his wife agreed to let her watch it.

Bastianich, the third judge, begins to describe the sunny-side-up hero egg: “Notice there are no brown edges, there are no wobbly whites,” he says. “They’re not snotty or runny.” The words “snotty” and “runny” are too much for some of the kids, and they burst into giggles.

Then there is a confusing silence for a minute or two. The judges have earpieces to receive stage directions during taping from producers in the control room who tell them what to redo. By now, the kids are used to these awkward pauses, but they are kids: They have a hard time standing still. Actually, so does Gordon Ramsay. Similarities between the celeb chef and the children are shockingly clear in person: They love to make trouble, they have scary amounts of energy, they get bored easily, and they throw temper tantrums.

All of a sudden the judges are alert again and Elliot starts talking: “You will have 10 minutes to make us as many perfect, sunny-side-up eggs as you can,” he says. “At your stations you will find everything you need: oil, butter, and a whole lot of eggs. You’ll have eight pans, which I highly recommend you use simultaneously. Every perfectly fried sunny-side-up egg that we decide is good enough will give you a huge advantage in the upcoming challenge.”

Then, it seems like it’s go time: The cameras start moving and the kids begin to run to their stations. But the producers yell, “Can I have the kids back up at the front?” and the judges take a break. What the kids will do between finding out the details of their challenge and 20 minutes later when they start cooking eggs I don’t know, because Ramsay wants to chat backstage in another room and ushers me away.

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Greg Gayne / FOX

Gordon Ramsay is worth $47 million, according to Forbes. In addition to owning restaurants all over the world, he’s produced and starred in 23 television shows since 1999. He’s published 27 books, has a line of tableware with WWRD (Waterford, Wedgewood, Royal Doulton), and has so much energy that you feel rushed to keep up with the cadence of his speech and under pressure to keep his attention. His attention is actually impossible for anyone to keep most of the time. Even his own thoughts don’t keep his attention long enough for him to properly finish them.

“I absolutely 100% categorically submerge myself in the, you know, I don’t give a shit what’s going on outside, there could be a crisis — last week we got a stupid lawsuit issued over a total ridiculous, ridiculous place, there’s a big conference call tonight where we are putting the defense together. It’s just if there’s one thing that always puts me off about working over here [in the U.S.] it’s that the more popular and the more famous you become then the more litigious and the more small excuse people take as advantage to sue…”

The way Ramsay talks is part of his manic power. He has the same force to his speech as on television, but without an editor to cut it and make it coherent. He spits out raw quotes that apart might be worth something, but together become extremely confusing.

“…so that’s one thing I’ve learned over the last decade. In terms of everyone says hey and of course the British press ‘he’s been sued again, that’s 14 times in 7 different countries!’ It’s a joke. Whatever crap’s going on there, when I walk in here and I’m with these guys, they’ve got me 100% because it is so important; look at the sort of rip-offs already in terms of Food Network and Bravo now, and the amount of people that try to imitate, and you’ve got that sugarcoating ass-kissy, let’s get all gooey and this is real — this is seriously real.”

He says he is involved in every aspect of the show, including casting, to identify the kids coming from desperate stage moms who aren’t really passionate about cooking. He was not fazed by initial skepticism about his working with children. “I’m a father of four and there’s no script for being a parent.” He talks about his own children a lot; they are between the ages of 12 and 16 and they are all over his Instagram feed amid pictures of him getting in race cars, getting on helicopters, and training for the Ironman.

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Sam Greg Gayne / FOX

The kid contestants idolize Ramsay. Logan, for example, says Ramsay’s opinion is the only one that matters during judging. Logan’s mom tells him to try to not look so pitiful during taping that he gives her a heart attack every time he looks at the camera. Logan says he’s probably just bored because judging takes so long.

“He’s the best chef out of all three of them,” says Sam, a blond 9-year-old contestant from Reseda, California, who has a Skrillex-like hairstyle. Sam says he knows Ramsay’s the best chef because “he’s done so many TV shows and so many things like that, and you can see he looks so good as a chef.”

“Bless him,” Ramsay says about Sam when tell I him this later on. “I mean, that’s a bit of a wrong interpretation. There needs to be an actual passion there, and that’s what we weed out very quickly.”

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Greg Gayne / FOX

After this quick break, 10 minutes are set on the MasterChef clock, which hangs high in the middle of the room. The kids run to their stations and begin furiously cracking eggs into pans.

Ramsay, Bastianich, and Elliot stand on the stage, still being filmed, talking about the best techniques for making eggs. Bastianich suggests frying two eggs in one pan; Ramsay is horrified and pokes fun at him. Ramsay explains that the most important element here is actually the butter: You have to baste the eggs, spoon hot butter over the whites to cook the tops faster. Crack the egg low near the pan so the yolk doesn’t break; bring the plate close to the pan so you don’t have to walk around with an egg on your spatula.

“Four minutes gone!” yells Ramsay toward the kids. “Six minutes remaining! Speed up, guys, multitask.”

I’m standing near supervising culinary producer Sandee Birdsong, who is watching the kids closely and also has an earpiece and microphone to communicate with producers during taping. A former contestant on Top Chef, Birdsong is now also that show’s supervising culinary producer, and her job is to oversee all the food on the show — order equipment and ingredients, create and test challenges, and train the kids. After a minute or two she says quietly into the microphone, “Turn the heat down, all the kids are burning the eggs’ edges.”

A minute later, Elliot says to the kids from the judges podium, “Guys, make sure you don’t get your heat too high, we don’t want any brown edges, control that pan.”

Birdsong and her culinary team of as many as 26 people teach the kids cooking classes in between episodes, walking them through the techniques they need to succeed and giving them safety training. The MasterChef classroom is identical to the set — same ovens, same food processors — so the contestants can get familiar with the equipment. The culinary team squeezes in as many classes for the kids as they can given the short amount of time children are legally allowed to be on the Paramount lot every day. “The kids are here to learn as much as they can the whole time,” she says.

Birdsong says she doesn’t teach the kids exactly what to do for a challenge, but rather shows them a basic and (most importantly) the fastest way to accomplish things like make a sauce or filet a fish. There are lots of different ways to make a piecrust, for example, but one way is probably best when you’re racing the clock. The kids have the option of writing down and memorizing anything from class.

“We teach a very basic application that works in our environment and that’s what they tend to stay with, and it’s their choice if they go off that mark [during a challenge],” she says, adding that the adults who receive the same classes are more likely to revert to their personal cooking methods.

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Abby Greg Gayne / FOX

Halfway through the egg challenge, Ramsay takes an interest in Abby, the youngest contestant at 8, who’s got her pan too hot and is still struggling to get a single egg fried and on a plate. Abby, who’s from Winchester, Virginia, still has a sweet baby-talk quality to her voice and is impossibly adorable. In Episode 2, while watching the other kids race to cook pancakes, she screamed nearly every time a pancake was flipped over and at one point nearly collapsed from excitement. “Take the pan to the plate, young lady,” Ramsay tells her.

She yells back, clearly stressed: “IT’S NOT READY.”

When time’s up, the judges all count down the last 10 seconds together.

The kids raise their hands in surrender and stop cooking.

“Who’s feeling good, guys?” Ramsay asks, cheerfully. No one raises a hand. The kids’ mood is total frustration. “Aw, come on, no one?”

A producer hollers from the side, “Let’s do the last five seconds again, guys,” and on cue the kids pretend to plate eggs and run around while someone counts, “Five, four, three, two, one.”

Then the kid chefs are shuffled out of the room for a break. Instead of the judges going to inspect the eggs, Rooney emerges from the greenroom and walks station to station to see who cooked the most eggs.

After the numbers are calculated, Birdsong, Elliot, Bastianich, and Rooney sit at a table offset discussing how to make the next challenge work. As it turns out, the number of eggs each kid cooked in this first challenge will determine the number of ingredients he or she will be allowed to use to cook a signature dish. Little Abby, sure to be an audience favorite, has successfully fried only two eggs in 10 minutes.

The lights on the set go dim; the pans and eggs and dishes are being cleared away. Out of the blue, Gordon Ramsay makes an announcement:

“The lady from BuzzFeed is going to do the egg challenge.” The cameramen, producers, and crew are as surprised as I am. “Lights up, please, thank you,” he hollers at no one in particular.

The kids aren’t present and the cameras aren’t rolling. And though I’ve been hanging around the set of his show for two days, I don’t think I’ve done anything to make him want to actively embarrass me. We had so far spoken innocuously about this show and his own children. I had not even asked him about the time he fat-shamed a contestant on Hell’s Kitchen, nor the time he tricked vegetarians into eating meat, nor about his allegedly showing up with a camera crew without permission at the wedding of his now-estranged mentor Marco Pierre White. I did not ask if he actually hired someone to film his father-in-law (and former business partner) having an affair, or if any of those things make him feel any doubt that he should be a role model for children.

But Ramsay’s probably just bored; he doesn’t want me or anyone getting too comfortable, and he knows this will be fun. And he does not know, thank god, that I attended culinary school. In theory I should be decent at this. But I’m not. I can’t be relied on to do anything quickly — not cooking, writing, thinking, or any kind of thing. I accidentally set my course book on fire more than once.

Ramsay abruptly starts singing “If I Could Turn Back Time” and rushing the producers to bring over the pans, oil, eggs, and butter. “Get the clock ready. You have five minutes. Are you ready? Five minutes, I want to see how many you can do. Your time starts now.”

“I’m shaking,” I say.

“And begin!”

I start cracking eggs into the pans without remembering to turn on the heat under any of the pans.

“Turn the gas on first, young lady! Fifteen seconds gone! Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go! Thirty seconds gone.”

“Shit!”

“Please no cursing, Emily. Forty seconds gone.”

“OK, OK.”

“Darling, you gotta go faster, I am starving. Coming up to one minute gone. If an 8-year-old can do it, I’m sure a 22-year-old can do it.”

I am 31.

But there is a crowd of about 20 people from the crew watching, taking photos with their phones, and laughing.

“Emily, I’m begging you, turn the fucking gas on.”

“No cursing, Chef,” I say.

“Coming up to two minutes gone. EMILY, PLEASE,” he yells. I am still not even finished cracking all eight eggs into all eight pans because I have apparently forgotten how to crack eggs, what to do with the shells, how to pan, what are eggs.

“What if I just throw one of these raw eggs at you,” is for some reason my response.

“Please, Emily, don’t waste time. I’ve got your editor on the phone, he’s live and he’s not impressed.”

I consider telling him that my editor is a woman. I don’t really want to embarrass him and make him yell even more. Or do I?

“My editor is a woman,” I say, cringing.

“Well, she’s not very happy. We’re Skyping her straight after this. I BEG YOU, GET ONE FUCKING EGG ON THE PLATE, PLEASE.”

I remember I should throw some butter in there and baste.

“Nice, that’s lovely. Butter, butter, butter,” he says three times rhythmically. I’m reminded of the way he also offhandedly said, “To the bar. The bar, the bar, the bar,” three times earlier in the day.

“Seventy-five seconds to go!” he yells.

This is the part where, if you’re a real cook, your brain turns off and your muscles remember and everything’s familiar so you can work like a machine. You can rhythmically baste, tilt, scoop, and plate along a row over and over with movements so efficient that 75 seconds is the perfect amount of time to plate eight sunny-side-up eggs. But the kids don’t have that muscle memory, how could they, and neither do I. No one is magically a master chef. It takes practice.

Ramsay, I’ve realized by now, needs to yell the whole time and doesn’t like silence, so he says, “Coming up to 60 seconds to go! EMILY, PLEASE.”

I get an egg on the plate.

“ONE EGG, YAY!!!!!!” he says sarcastically. “Last minute!”

The rest of the eggs just haven’t finished cooking. I have spent most of my five minutes fumbling with the heat and running back and forth between my two ranges of four eggs each.

The entire production crew of MasterChef Junior counts down my last 10 seconds.

“One egg. You are as good as Abby,” he says.

Abby, he reminds me, is 8 years old.

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Greg Gayne / FOX

“I snuck some of your frosting one time,” Abby says to Samuel, a jaunty 12-year-old who talks like he’s doing an impression of an adult on a cooking show. To me, she adds, “I wanted to see if it was good because he wasn’t called for the top three in the cupcake challenge.” She is wearing tiny glasses, head-to-toe pink and purple with ruffles, polka dots, and tiny sparkly shoes.

The kids are sitting (sort of — Oona is bad at sitting) at a table in a break room in a building separate from the set. This is where their parents hang out during episode tapings.

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Sean Greg Gayne / FOX

Noticeably quiet during breaks is Sean, an Asian-American 12-year-old from Santa Ana, California, with thick glasses, braces, and a big smile when he lets it show. Sean has won the most challenges, and the other kids think he’s the best cook because, as one of them says, “He’s been cooking every night for two years.” Sean is quick to correct him: He cooks only three times a week. His dream is to be a restaurant owner and an interior designer because he “spends half his time on Pinterest looking at home decor.”

The kids are, in fact, really sweet to each other. And the adults encourage that.

“We really try to stay away from that side of the reality world of, like, ‘Come on, really tell us who you don’t like,’” says Elliot the next day. “‘This one said this about you, you should really say…’ There’s nothing like that. You ask, ‘Who do you think is the best? Who do you not want in here?’ And almost 90% of the time it’s, ‘I like everybody, they’re all good.’”

Ten-year-old Josh, who has long hair and a crackly voice that sounds a little like Jonathan Taylor Thomas, offers a story about how Ramsay helped him roll out a piecrust because he couldn’t do it fast enough. While Ramsay’s helping him didn’t appear in the final episode, the producers did include another special moment: Josh, seeming very, very concerned, says he really hoped he wouldn’t get sent home for his Key lime pie because that would ruin his feelings about Key lime pie.

Oona hollers loudly so she can be heard over the other kids who have all started talking vaguely about piecrust at once: “Half a cup of butter and 2½ cups of flour and 2 tablespoons of sour cream.” She is the only one who offers specifics, and that ratio would probably work. Oona had never made a pie before she got to MasterChef; she learned in Birdsong’s classes.

When I ask about burns, almost all of the kids eagerly and immediately shove their forearms toward me to show off burn marks. Some got these during the show; some were earned while cooking at home. Like line cooks, the kids are very proud of their burns.

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Greg Gayne / FOX

“In this next challenge we want all of you to dream big and imagine owning and running your own restaurant,” says Ramsay to the kids, now back on camera. “Excited?”

“Yes, Chef!” The kids know to yell in response.

Oona’s signature dish at her someday restaurant (which will only serve “well-to-do people”) will be scallops two ways: scallop crudo with a yuzu ponzu sauce and crispy wontons, plus seared scallops with a soy foam and a ginger scallion oil.

But Oona’s only fried four eggs, the judges point out, so now what?

“I’m just going to do the seared scallops because that shows more skill…or I’ll… I don’t know,” Oona says, smiling without a trace of the worry an adult in her position would show.

Later, Ramsay tells me that he helps them before they kick off the pantry run and cooking, “just to stop them from panicking.”

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Oona and her blender. Greg Gaynes / BuzzFeed

“She needs to understand that you got four ingredients, so it’s scallops, cauliflower, grapefruit, and I think orange segments,” Ramsay says. “So the cauliflower puree, Oona wants cream in there. There’s no greater way to do a cauliflower puree than to take the florets, blanch them in rapidly boiling water, get them just cooked, take them out, blend them, and add the water they were cooked in back to it. So those kind of techniques is what I need to step in and say, ‘Get concerned but don’t get upset.’”

Before they film the pantry run, there’s an off-camera “culinary pause” and Birdsong goes from kid to kid asking them exactly what ingredients they are going to get and what they will plate. She’s writing it down and either giving them advice or just flat-out telling them what to do. The producers are getting impatient — they need to make this quick — but Birdsong is determined to make sure the kids know what they are doing.

“What’s your starch going to be?” she asks one of them.

“Do I have to have a starch?” he says.

Sean, who has successfully fried the most eggs with his 10, is playing the hand-slap game with Logan while Birdsong tries to get them to focus.

The PR person trailing me is looking around for a senior production person to say if it’s OK that I am watching this happen.

Once the clock starts, the kids have an hour to cook. Bastianich immediately goes over to Abby, who has only two ingredients: salmon and asparagus.

“We never cook for them,” Gordon says later, adding that there was a moment in another challenge when he helped Abby cut butternut squash because he felt she was about to slice her hand open. “We help, we advise … my job is to protect them, health and safety.”

While most of the kids specified that their restaurants would be expensive and serve “rich people,” “fancy people,” or “investment bankers,” Abby wants her “restaurant-slash-vet’s clinic to be a good restaurant and serve healthy food.” And it will be called Horses and Courses.

“Um, how about getting a pan out so we can start thinking about this?” Bastianich says to Abby, who, if she wins, says she will give the $100,000 prize money to charity after she buys a horse. “How are you going to do the asparagus?”

“I’m gonna sauté and boil them,” she says.

“That’s a good idea, boil them first so you know they’re cooked then sauté them with oil and salt and pepper to give them a little flavor … Oops, they’re too long to fit in that pan…”

One of the kids cuts herself and two medics rush in with Band-Aids and antiseptic.

Birdsong and the other producers say they take every precaution to keep the kids safe and reassure the parents with fully trained medics always on site, knife and open-flame safety classes, and judges who will step in to help. But at the same time, the episodes definitely play with the peril of kids fumbling with giant food processors stored on high-up shelves and handling knives as big as their arms. Because that’s the rule: Treat them the same as the adults.

“I mean, obviously we all cringe every once in a while when they’re holding the knife wrong or they grab something and it’s hot or they’re fixing to do something and it’s scary,” she says, “but we’re there, and [the parents] know we’re there.” The judges will intervene and help, Ramsay says, if they see a child doing something that seems too dangerous.

The most common injuries, Birdsong says, are small burns, because the kids often forget when they pull something out of their oven and put it on the counter that it’s still hot and touch it later. She trains them to put a towel on any hot pans as a reminder.

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Mitchell and Sam in the pantry. Greg Gayne / FOX

Adaiah hollers that she needs an adult to open a jar for her. That’s allowed, and a culinary producer steps in. But when Samuel asks if he can go back in the pantry because he got a wrong ingredient or something, it’s not.

“They try to break the rules when they can,” Birdsong says. She is always impressed with how much they are capable of in technical classes and during taping. “It’s easy because they’re kids, so they learn quick. They respond, too, if I told them to do something right — now they’ll remember that forever.”

Oona is blending her cauliflower puree nearby and Birdsong silently motions to her, mock-sprinkling her hand, giving her the universal symbol for “don’t forget to salt.”

“She had extra time, so she did make her scallops two ways,” whispers a producer into her earpiece microphone, talking about Oona. “She just didn’t make the foam.”

There’s not really a sense of last-minute panic that the TV show conveys as the kids begin to plate. They’ve been able to finish. This, too, is part of Birdsong’s job: The producers rely on her to design challenges that are as short and as hard as possible so that “the hands-up moment is really a hands-up moment,” she says. And she tests the timed challenges before each taping the exact same way for the kids and the adult contestants “because the kids are just as good as the adults.”

The kids finish cooking and the PR person who trailed me while I was there asks me to step out of the building with him. This was quite obviously a pivotal moment and I wanted to see how the judging went down, so I asked why I had to leave, and he said that they didn’t want the show “to get overexposed.”

Optimistically, what was happening was that the judges and producers were looking at the kids’ plates and figuring out who would win and who would go home, and maybe cleaning them up…a little.

After about 25 minutes I’m let back inside; the judging portion has started.

Birdsong is now holding a piece of paper with quickly sketched drawings of all eight kids’ plates on it, and as one of the kids places his plate in front of the judges, I hear Birdsong say into her mic, “That plate needs a spin.”

Seeing those sketches, I think of the extra kitchen I had seen backstage, the one where a small staff of busy adults was talking about tempura batter recipes from various L.A. restaurants. Could they possibly cook all the food after Birdsong talks to the kids before the pantry run, just in case?

“Oh, no way, we wouldn’t be able to do that,” says Birdsong. “We have someone from legal at every single production day and they would not allow something like that to happen. We’re governed by that.” Birdsong says the parents are also introduced to the legal team and can at any point during taping ask to speak to them.

Even so, I wanted to go and look in that kitchen, see how busy they had been while the kids had been cooking, and what was in their trash. But I couldn’t: The PR person babysitting me was going to shepherd me to the next interview then directly to my car in the parking lot.

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Greg Gayne / FOX

After the judging, little Logan in his bow tie with his underseasoned rice is safe. But two other contestants are sent home. The producers intentionally send kids home in pairs to make it easier on them.

In one episode, a girl who was sobbing when she’s told she’s being eliminated is five minutes later smiling and says, “I am sad I have to leave but I’m excited to go home and see my dad and my dog.”

I sit down with Elliot and Bastianich on some couches near the set. Taping is done for the day. They look exhausted. Elliot wipes his face, forces a cheerful mood, and tries to be friendly. Bastianich doesn’t look up from his cell phone.

“What you just saw was challenging, goddamnit,” says Bastianich. “Sending these kids home is horrible; it’s hard.”

I ask point-blank if anything is done to the food before the judges judge it.

“No,” says Bastianich, still on his phone. “It is what it is.”

He seems relieved for Abby, who was not sent home. “You know, whether she cooked that salmon perfectly by accident or not, but she cooked it better than a 12-year-old boy did.”

I ask if they think all of the kids will really become chefs one day. They say no, of course not all of them, and they’re not trying to push restaurant work on them. This gets Bastianich’s attention.

“I think the more relevant question is the 6 million kids and adults who are watching,” he says, seizing an opportunity to give a positive spin and talk about something he’s proud of. “What message does that send to them, because that’s the greater impact, right? I think it’s a very positive one. We think that this is the cure, not the problem, for food-related issues in our society — whether it’s childhood obesity, whatever — knowing about the food, how to cook it, how to source it, how to manage it, is a very positive message that these kids launch for everyone else.”

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Greg Gayne / FOX

A few months later I reach out to Jack, a contestant from Season 1, and ask his mom if I could visit them at home. I want to see how well he can actually cook.

A 12-year-old seventh-grader now, Jack was 10 when he taped the show in 2013 and ended up an audience favorite because of his New York accent, the colorful Hawaiian shirts he wore on every episode, and his maniac chopping skills.

At his neighbor’s beautiful, two-story home in Far Rockaway, New York (their house is under construction, his mom says), Jack is going to sear a thick steak with a coffee and cacao powder rub and roast some butternut squash.

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Jack Photograph by Lauren Zaser for BuzzFeed

“I’m going to try to cook it medium rare, so it’s a nice brown on the outside but pink to red color in the middle, because I feel like it allows the beef’s natural flavors to shine through,” he says.

Will he use a thermometer?

“I just go by touch,” he says, pointing out the “nice brown color” that’s developing as he sears not just two sides but every surface of the steak, standing it up vertically and letting it rest on the side of the pan, which most adults would not think to do.

“I actually prefer it on the pan than cooked on the grill,” he says. “It tastes more elegant.”

It’s been two and a half years since Jack taped MasterChef Junior and he’s still obsessed with cooking, though he also plays tennis, the trombone, and the piano, and says he’s into wrestling. He still has his adorable smile but is in the middle of a preteen growth spurt; something about the ratio of his calves to his feet gives away that he might be a lot taller very soon.

Jack holds the knife properly; he’s stacking parsley leaves one on top of the other, rolling them into a cigar shape then slicing through the roll for a proper chiffonade. This technique is something I couldn’t tell if the kids I saw during the taping were doing because I couldn’t get close enough. Unlike Alexander, the 13-year-old who won the first season, Jack has not been staging at restaurants like Del Posto and Lure Fishbar.

My paranoia about the realness of the show is fading. This child is a very good cook.

The major thing he learned on MasterChef, he says, was time management. “I learned that you should always heat up your pan before you heat up the oil, because if you don’t then the oil can burn on you. That was big.”

Jack starts to loosen up, talking about cooking with a lot of authority, and I realize he narrates each step like a TV personality. “So we’re just going to let this [steak] sit here for a little longer, to let it cook a little bit, and then we’ll put it on here [a cutting board] to rest…”

Then all of a sudden he’s a kid again: “…Umm, so, because if you didn’t let it rest once you put it on the plate it just sort of, like, all the blood just, like, squirts out and it looks all red on your plate and everything is ruined and it’s horrible and you’re like, ‘No!’ But when you cut the filet mignon on the board, all the blood comes out on the plate so when you put it on your real plate, then it looks perfect.”

He, like Oona, learned most of what he knows about cooking from television. “One day I just turned on the TV and Chopped happened to be on there and I didn’t feel like getting the remote and changing it to cartoons, so I just kept watching Chopped.” So basically, food TV is responsible not only for breeding the next stars of food TV, but also, maybe, causing children who might otherwise beg for processed fast food to want to help cook dinner from scratch.

After carefully examining his steak to find the grain, Jack slices it to reveal a perfect medium-rare. He plates slices artfully next to his cubed butternut squash then wipes the sides of the plate like a cook at the pass.

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Photograph by Lauren Zaser for BuzzFeed

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