#it's been six days since i posted an embers chapter i should post one

[sillyguy99]

* don't look now, but i lost my shoe.

(Undertale Sans x Reader)

Chapter One: * what's with these homies, dissin' my girl?

[Index | Next]

Notice:

(This story is nearly 5 years old, and though it doesn't show my best work, I decided to post it, just because I stopped it at chapter 18, when there were only 2 more chapters left to finish it. So... I'm gonna give it another shot – making minor edits to make the plot less dramatic and angsty, lol.)

(***Also, since Tumblr has a more limited format: italic texts are from you, the reader, and bold texts are from others.)

• • • • •

You've changed.

The best thing your boss did was to give you that warning.

You shouldn't keep working for the law if you're just gonna be a traitor.

How am I a traitor?

You work 9 to 5, sometimes 8 to 6, for the benefit of monsters.

Now, all of a sudden, our sex life goes down the drain.

I haven't slept with you since you got that promotion, and that was two whole months ago.

I'm supposed to be your husband, but you've left me in the dry.

I'm tired.

And I refuse to sleep with someone who won't support me in my new job.

Or should I remind you said I wasn't a real detective?

That my degree's 'worth shit', simply because of the field I'm working in these days?

               The rest is an ongoing, fruitless conversation you can't bother yourself with.

               Through reading those texts for what has to be the twentieth time today, you sigh, hiccup, and close your eyes tight, lifting your face slightly to avoid letting tears fall. 

               Barely two hours are left until he comes home to drop off your child, and the mere thought that you have to sleep with him five hours after that makes your stomach twist and churn. You don't want to imagine him naked: panting, heavy, and on top of you again, doing whatever he pleases with little regards to your own limits. Nausea takes over – violent, making you open your eyes and suppress a gag.

               You really, really don't want anything to do with him anymore.

               Yet, he insists you should remain married until your child reaches their eighteenth birthday.

               “At least wait until they're grown up,” he said. “Cuz what's six more years? Be honest with me.” Then, he chuckled. “As ugly as you frown when you see me, I doubt you hate me that much.”

               That had been a year ago.

               Would you really have to wait five more years until your freedom?

               The thought sends chills down your spine.

               While he was a good father, that adjective didn't really fit next to husband. 

               At the beginning of your marriage, yes – he was the best spouse you could ask for.

               Now?

               You'd rather eat drywall than have to spend a single second near him – without your child around, of course.

               With your newest agreement, it felt more as if your husband were a client, his payment being not making your life hell, and your service what he claimed was something a wife should be willing to give twenty-four seven.

               You shake your head and search for a distraction amongst the people surrounding the bar, aware you can only end up worse if you continue to dwell on the subject. The air presses down on you hot and heavy, a feeling that only increases the more time you stay seated without doing anything for your growing aches. Your sole companion is your mind when you realize you're too overcome with emotions to talk to someone without scaring them off. Chatter drowns out coherent thinking and sensory overload begins to show by how difficult breathing becomes. Seeking an escape route, you hold the bartender back with a raised hand and an 'excuse me'. Then, you ask him for some bottled water – the only kind he could touch willingly. Small embers flutter around the air as he turns around, leaving you alone with burning cheeks and a pounding headache. 

               Groaning, you pinch the bridge of your nose and blink through your blurry vision. Then, you adjust your glasses – despite knowing the excess shots have pretty much screwed you over already. The hour marked on your phone surfaces a sigh. How fast time seems to be going makes you notice you currently only have around an hour left before your husband arrives with your child. They would be staying with you while he went off to work, and the least you wanted was to look washed up for his arrival.

               "need somethin' else, pal?"

               You jolt at the new voice, deep and hearty.

               Reluctantly, you cast your gaze up to see a skeleton monster standing behind the counter, now glossy with polish. His face is tough to make out with the blurriness, yet you can tell he's looking at you. From the way he stands behind the counter and the stuffy look his suit gives off with its pristine and exaggerated formality, you figure he's a new employee. His newbie appearance doesn't erase the warm and welcoming aura most bartenders appear to carry by default, however. Instead, it makes his smile and words more genuine in his approach.

               It takes you a while to respond aside from shaking your head – mind hazy and disoriented. You thank him and sweep the water bottle off the counter, then turn the lid open, breathe in deep, and take a series of long, greedy gulps. Finally, you set it back down, more than half of it already gone.

               One more screw up, and you were out of your job at the law department for good.

               It doesn't help that you're currently hanging out at a place strictly and utterly forbidden by your boss: a hole-in-the-wall bar and grill establishment open to all, kept family-friendly during the day and becoming more daring during the night. It has been long since you ever drank alcohol of any sort, and it's beginning to show. You can hardly sit without tumbling pitifully to the side.

               “hey.”

               You're snapped back toward reality through the feeling of someone resting their arms over the counter, facing you and waiting for your return. 

               You frown and look up from the water bottle to see the same skeleton – his previous stuffy appearance appearing more natural now that he's taken off his tie and left two of the shirt's buttons unfastened.

               "i’m no expert on humans, but you look like you could use someone to talk to."

               You feel hazy again.

               And whether due to the drinks or the heat, you're not too certain of.

               But – right now – you're positive about one thing. 

               “U- Um…”

               As you wipe a tear off your cheek and burst out half a sob and half a laugh, you realize you really could use someone to talk to.

               “Thank you.”

[angstsfordays]

Beautiful Pain (6)

Chapter Six- Growing Pains

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced! Reader

Summary: Post-Blip, you started to feel lost when most of the Avengers team are gone. Coping with your loss, you still find hope in the connection with your remaining friends. However, it is not easy as everyone is trying to figure their lives after the Blip.

Having a long history with Bucky ever since you both saved each other from Hydra, you were still glad you had Bucky after all this time. However, as you try to give Bucky space to find himself after being pardoned for his past, you start to wonder if you should ever cross the line of friendship before it’s too late.

That thought might have to be put on hold though, when you, Sam and Bucky find yourselves having to deal with threats that continue to rise in a post-Blip world.

Chapter synopsis: Arriving in Latvia, you find your group closing into Karli’s group. You found yourself unexpectedly in upsetting exchanges with Bucky, making you take two steps back from the progress you two had since Madripoor.

Warnings: Angst as I like it! Bucky being a dense block of wood.

Word count: 4k

Notes: It’s insane the number of followers I have gained after starting this series. I am very humbled to know that you guys take interest in my work! Appreciate all the likes and reblogs! 🙏🏼

Hope y’all would enjoy this chapter! Things cannot be forever smooth sailing and we see a roadblock to Bucky and reader’s progress. I would love to know your feedback on the story so leave a comment if you can! 🥰

The tag list is still open! Let me know if you want to join with a message or comment in the chapters!

Previous: Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five

Next: Chapter Seven

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Six years ago

The embers from the fire glowed warmly in front of you, a finger daringly reached out to touch the flames. The energy flames emitted from the tip of your finger and blended into the fire.

Turning your head back to Bucky and Ayo, you saw how Bucky was anxious and had a doubtful expression on his face. It had been a week since the programming has been removed from his system.

While he was still reassured that the worst was over, he had a lot of reservations. Having you by his side was the only source of comfort that he could through these hard times.

“I won’t let you hurt anyone,” Ayo spoke to relieved Bucky of his concerns. You flashed an encouraging smile back to him and Bucky nodded at Ayo for her to start.

As Ayo started saying the code words, you could see Bucky’s entire body tensing up as if he wanted to resist the possibility of being turned. Holding in your breath at the entire situation, you clasped your hands together in prayer, wishing that things would turn out well.

Every time each word was said, it built up hope and anxiety at the same time. You could see the dread, regret and guilt all from his eyes alone as Bucky stared intensely at the burning fire. It seemed his mind was heavy on a lot of memories and recollections that seemed to eat him away.

You wanted to take a step forward but Ayo shook her head, silently asking you to stay put.

As the number of codewords was closing into zero, your anticipation grew at how Bucky was doing well. However, your heart started breaking when you saw the tears welling up in his eyes.

Once the last code word was spoken, Bucky was sobbing. Seeing this sight, your own tears started to fall down your cheeks as you brought your clasped hands over your heart.

“You are free,” Ayo stated with a pleased smile and she looked over to you to give you a nod. Grinning a full wide smile at her, you looked down to Bucky shaking by the fire. You wondered what was wrong until he removed his clenched fist from his face. It was when he turned to face you that you both mirrored the full-blown smiles on your faces.

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Stretching your limbs on the plush couch, your eyes closed wearily from the flight to Latvia. You still couldn’t process the entire series of events that had happened in the past 72 hours and your mind was mentally drained.

Hearing the door open, you lifted your head to finally see Bucky joining everyone in Zemo’s fancy place. Bucky’s eyes turned to yours and the two of you stared at each other silently for what felt like an eternity.

You first broke the stare by blinking and bit your lips in nervousness. Your mind immediately went back to what happened in Sharon’s club and you turned your back to avoid looking at him for the time being.

Bucky was thinking of the same thing and tried his best to maintain a cool façade. Seeing how you turned your back on the sofa, he felt it was best to move on to business with the others first.

“Well, the Wakandans are here. They want Zemo.” Bucky spoke to Sam before looking at an unbothered Zemo who was fresh out of the shower in his robes.

Bucky’s words managed to get you to turn back and sit up at attention.

“It was sweet of you to defend me at least.” You see Zemo looking grateful at Bucky but the super-soldier just rolled his eyes.

“Hey, you shut it. No one’s defending you.” Sam shut Zemo down as he couldn’t believe how thick-skinned the Sokovian man was. “You killed Nagel.”

Zemo tried to defend his stance while Sam definitely wasn’t buying it. You couldn’t say it out loud lest you get a look from Sam but you were glad Zemo did it. Who knows if there would be a day where you would be handed off to Nagel and he got his hands on you to do whatever he wanted?

You shuddered at the thought and as if Zemo knew what was on your mind, you see the Baron turning back to give you a wink and mouthing a ‘welcome’. Your nose scrunched in distaste, not wanting to give the man the satisfaction of him being right.

“Karli bombed a GRC supply depot,” Bucky spoke up again after looking up from his phone. Sam asked for the amount of damage to which Bucky answered that eleven were injured and three were dead.

This was getting serious. Especially when you heard Bucky saying that the Flag Smashers were promising more attacks if their demands were not met. You suddenly felt a renewed sense of responsibility and purpose to help the world once more after the last battle.

Even though you were tired of fighting, you knew that bearing the powers that you had gave you the responsibility to take action for the greater good.

Zemo then remarked that he had the will to follow through with this mission but questioned you and your friends.

“She’s just a kid,” Sam emphasized, showing his empathetic and kind heart who chose to see the good in others first. It reminded you so much of Steve and you smiled at the resemblance.

Zemo didn’t agree with Sam’s opinion and explained how Karli was a supremacist. The very idea of super-soldiers was troubling, how they viewed themselves as invincible and above others. Zemo compared it to the Nazi ideology, how it led to Ultron and the Avengers.

His last point rubbed you the wrong way because you knew your friends were never focused on themselves but rather dedicated time, effort and their lives for the world.

Sam understood that Karli had indeed been radicalised but still argued for a better way to manage the situation, one that he hoped would be peaceful and led to lesser bloodshed.

“I agree with Sam.” You spoke up for the first time. All three men focused on you as you lifted yourself from the sofa and walked towards them. “She’s not doing this for power or money, she’s doing this to help her community and the vulnerable. The least we could do is to try to talk to her first.”

Zemo tilted his head with an annoyed look, seeing how you backed Sam up in this debate.

“Y/N. The desire to become a superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideals. Anyone with that serum is inherently on that path. She would not stop, in fact, she will escalate unless you kill her.”

You knew that there were part truths in Zemo’s words. You kept quiet and he looked at you pleased that he probably has gotten through you in some sense.

“Or you can kill her first.” With this, Zemo stared straight at you as if he decided to give you this responsibility, knowing that you were the likeliest to overpower Karli when the time comes.

“Maybe you’re wrong, Zemo. The serum never corrupted Steve.” Speaking from behind you, Bucky refuted Zemo’s claims but Zemo seemed unaffected. He even added on that there was no other Steve Rogers. Who were you guys to presume not everyone could get corrupted once they had a taste of power?

Having enough of Zemo, Bucky suggested handing Zemo over to the Wakandans right at this moment and you wanted to agree. You were indebted to them and with their late king’s murderer right in front of you, a sense of guilt washed over you as you must have realized how livid they must be that he was walking free.

Sam then explained how Donya was an influential member of the community and related it to his own story of his TT aka his aunt. When someone who was a pillar in a close-knitted community had passed, people would gather to hold a long ceremony in memory of that person. He presumed that the same would be done for Donya and that’s where you all should lead with.

-------------------------//---------------------------

The four of you decided to venture to the streets to ask for information on Donya. As Zemo and Sam went their own ways, Bucky looked over you as if to ask if you wanted to join him.

“Uh, I-uh-I” You started stuttering without realising. Bucky knitted his brows in confusion at your sudden display and he immediately thought of your almost moment. Did you not want it? Did he overstep?

Inwardly groaning, he couldn’t believe he did something so stupid in the heat of the moment. Deciding to do something about it, he spoke up.

“Hey. About earlier-” Glancing up at Bucky, he nervously rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to find the words to say.

“Earlier?” You weren’t sure what he was referring to and returned a quizzical look. Taking a deep breath before exhaling, Bucky tried to continue the conversation.

“I mean back in Madripoor. You know that uh-” Your eyes widened realised at the particular event that he chose to bring up. Your heart quickened at how he was choosing to address it now and you stared at him expectantly. “Yeah?”

“It was stupid, all right? I didn’t think and it was all at the moment, I didn’t mean to went in like that-” Blinking your eyes as if you couldn’t process what Bucky had just said, your heart dropped at the realisation that everything turned out to be one-sided wishful thinking of yours.

In his attempt to piece his words together and play it down, Bucky didn’t realise the disappointment painted on your face and how you stopped the tears that welled up in your eyes from falling.

You felt so stupid. There was no way that Bucky would have taken interest in you. All this time, you were nothing more than friends. You didn’t doubt that that moment in Madripoor with its atmosphere could have clouded both of your senses.

“It’s okay, Buck. I totally understand.” You spoke up to prevent him from continuing to dishearten you.

“I’m cool. We were swept up in the music and the dancing- it’s natural to uh-do that.” You were starting to choke up at your words but forced yourself to swallow down the knot in your throat.

Pulling your lips into a tight grin and forcing yourself to meet Bucky’s eyes, you saw him puzzled and expectant of your next response.

“I am going to go that way.” Mustering up a cheerful voice to make it sound like you were fine, you pointed over to a random street. “We should split up and cover more ground. Bye!” Giving a quick wave to him, you hurriedly turn your back and almost broke into a sprint to get as far away from him as possible.

Bucky knew that from your reaction he must have done something wrong. He just wasn’t sure what he did. Scolding himself for being such an idiot, he looked back to where he last saw you before you turned the corner.

Bucky’s hands and jaw both clenched with tension at how things had been with you just moments ago before allowing himself to be distracted with the mission. He made a mental note that he had to catch you later and have another talk.

-------------------------//---------------------------

You were a woman with a purpose and that was to find out more about Donya Madani. You realised after the first few queries, people here were wary once you mentioned the woman’s name.

Cracking your brain to think of a strategy, your eyes roamed around the neighbourhood for some sort of idea. A familiar back caught your attention and your eyes widened in shock at who you had spotted.

The man back from the fight on the truck was here. That means Karli and her group were here too! You didn’t have the chance to see the man’s face as he had a mask on back then but you recognised him instantly.

He was alone and that gave you a good chance to corner him. You blended in with the crowd while closing in on him with every step. As he turned the corner to an alley, you quickened your steps in fear that you might be losing him.

Once you stepped foot into the alley, you were shocked to see there it was clear and empty. Running your fingers through your hair in a stressful moment, you wondered how he could have disappeared without a trace. Venturing further down the alley, you hoped that you might be able to catch sight of him once more.

Your body reacted a second later than your intuition when you felt someone grabbed you from behind, the hands covering your mouth to prevent you from screaming.

The person switched hands and used their strength to push you against the brick walls. Feeling the wind knocked out of your chest, you took quick hurried breaths to regain yourself and that’s when your eyes looked up to meet the dark eyes of the man that you had been following.

His eyes mirrored yours as they widened at the recognition of who you were and he then spoke. “How did you follow us? Where are the rest of your friends?”

Clawing at his hands to free your face, your hands started glowing a bright orange to get him to release you. The man was taken aback at the display of your powers and decided to make a run for it, knowing that you would have the upper hand eventually.

“No wait, please!” You cried for him to stop. The man’s steps slowed down at your plea and he turned back slightly to face you. You raised your hands up in surrender to show you meant no harm.

You willingly put your hands behind you, clasping them together and showing them to him.

“I just want to talk.” You continued saying. Sensing the man’s hesitation, you then emphasized please desperately. Taking a few steps closer, you still left a gap between the two of you.

“I am Y/N.” Hoping that introducing yourself showed that you were interested to get to know him, you looked on anxiously for his response.

“Dovich.” The man replied curtly before staring back at you. Repeating his name once more in your mouth, you showed off a friendly smile before resuming.

“I know what you must be thinking, but please I do not mean any harm.” You hoped that the sincerity in your voice would get his guard down but seeing Dovich squaring his shoulders to look more intimidating, you knew that he couldn’t trust you yet.

“Lies!” Dovich refuted your claims.

“What happened back there was self-defence!” He must have thought about how you were about to use your powers just moments ago. “Trust me, if I wanted to do any damage, I would be able to but I didn’t.”

Seeing how you were still standing there with your arms behind your back, Dovich’s stance seemed to ease up a little. “What do you want?”

“We- my friends and I want to talk to Karli.” You knew your words only served to upset him once more as his face distorted into a frown.

“We really want things to work out! We don’t ever want things to escalate, it is never in my interest to kill anyone.” Dovich glanced over you to see an earnest expression on your face and he couldn’t help but be a little swayed.

He knew who you were. You were less well-known but still regarded as part of the Avengers team. It would be a lie to say he wasn’t intimidated. He recalled how you fought his group back then and knew that given your powers, there was a chance to be bested even if he had taken the serum.

Dovich still clearly remembered how you pulled him up when he was about to fall off the moving truck from before. Your actions at that moment had changed his impression of you, regarding you in a better light. It matched what you had just said earlier, you weren’t interested to kill anyone.

“Karli wouldn’t listen. She is determined and resolute in our vision.” Dovich hoped you understood his perspective and you nodded in acknowledgement.

“I know but that doesn’t mean we don’t want to try settling this peacefully. We don’t want more lives gone than it already had.” You added on to your own perspective in the matter. Dovich believed you but he still wasn’t sure. He couldn’t be so easy to trust especially of all of the experiences that he and his group went through.

You were still considered a threat to the existence of the group.

“I don’t trust your group. Especially that Zemo guy. We know he hates super soldiers.” Dovich reiterated his mistrust before continuing. “Plus you guys are the Avengers, you wouldn’t know what it is like to be us. You get to live comfortable lives and do as you please.”

Hearing his assumption, you shook your head in disagreement. You closed your eyes and exhaled deeply before speaking.

“The Avengers aren’t really there anymore. Most of our group are gone. We are only what’s left but it doesn’t feel like there’s a team anymore.” Your mind to your current situation. Yes, you were with Sam and Bucky but they were just tolerating each other for the moment. You didn’t exactly feel like you were a team at all but just a group put together because you were all that’s left.

The sense of camaraderie from your previous team was gone and you were at a loss. You did what you had to do to support your two friends but you felt empty on the inside. You titled your head up to see Dovich peering at you with an almost concerned look on his face.

“Besides, that’s a bit of a generalisation you have there. We don’t live fancy lives, that’s a misconception because of uh-Tony. We all are still normal human beings dealing with struggles in our personal lives too. We gave up most of ourselves to defend this world….” Reeling from the exchange that you two had, you knew Dovich was someone that could be reasoned with.

“Of course, I am not trying to brag or anything!” You hurriedly explain before he had the thought that you were trying to make yourself look better in his eyes. “It’s just that I hope you could understand where we are coming from too.”

Dovich didn’t expect the conversation to progress in this manner. He had spotted you in the reflection of a glass window of a shop and initially wanted to get you off his tail. Despite the initial scepticism, he was starting to warm up to you. He figured you weren’t like the rest of your group and seemed down to earth despite being an Avenger.

He couldn’t lie to himself and claimed he thought of you several times ever since the first encounter. How can one not forget someone who stepped in to save their life once?

Dovich gazed at you now standing civilly with an awaiting look. He wanted to trust you, he really did. But he knew Karli was especially alert and distrustful of anyone outside her circle. Your affiliation wouldn’t help in this case either. He couldn’t make a promise that he can’t keep.

“I can’t promise you anything.” A grin formed on your face for the first time and you nodded your head in understanding.

“Of course, I just need a chance to talk. That’s all.” Dovich nodded back before he started walking back to the other end of the alleyway. He told you that he would speak with Karli after Donya’s ceremony and asked you to wait for his contact. He made you promise to not speak to your friends about this meeting and that he only trusted you.

You gave your agreement and maintained a friendly smile before he turned back to go onto another street.

-------------------------//---------------------------

Walking with lighter steps, you were glad to be able to do something right. You re-entered Zemo’s place and was greeted with the men gathering around to discuss their lack of result. You had to control yourself from revealing about your meeting with Dovich and kept quiet.

You agreed with Sam’s remarks on understanding Karli’s perspective and how she and her group were not motivated by malicious intentions.

Bucky then gave his own input that Karli would not be any different from Zemo. Recalling your last exchange with him, you suddenly felt upset with the super-soldier. You didn’t agree with his words either as you believed you understood better after talking with Dovich.

“I agree with Sam on this. Karli’s group is different and we need to give them a chance.” Bucky looked at you in disbelief. This was the first time you were ever not on the same page with him. He couldn’t agree with your views of giving the Flag Smashers a chance when they were such obvious threats.

Bucky believed that your soft-hearted nature was clouding your judgement and he thought better of you given your experience of dealing with such people.

“Can’t believe you are actually siding with terrorists Y/N.” His words came out harsher than expected and his heart twisted when he saw the tinge of sadness at how you received his words. A brief moment later, he saw your brows frowning and now looked at him with an offended stare.

“Not everything is black and white, James.” You scoffed before walking off to use the bathroom.

Sam and Zemo were surprised to hear the condescending tone in your voice towards Bucky. Knowing how you and Bucky were close-knitted, witnessing the suddenly tensed exchange between the two of you would have been baffled at what just transpired.

Hearing you calling him James was clear as day to Bucky that you were definitely not happy with him. Rubbing his temples in dismay, he wondered what have gotten over you suddenly. Sure, he was at fault for saying such a harsh comment but he still didn’t expect you to be like this.

Bucky lost his cool when Zemo stated he wanted to keep his leverage by not revealing any more information he had gotten from the little girl on the streets about Donya.

“You wanna see what someone can do we leverage?” Bucky too the glass in Zemo’s hand and threw it to the wall behind the Sokovian baron. He was silently seething at Zemo’s play on top of the unpleasant exchange that he had with you.

Sam came around to calm Bucky down before he indicated that he would make a call.

You stepped back into the common room when you heard the smashing of glass. You looked to see Bucky and Zemo in an intense standoff, well more so Bucky than Zemo.

Sam walked away first. Zemo asked Bucky if he would like some cherry blossom tea but the super-soldier refuted the offer with disdain in his tone.

“Y/N?” Zemo gestured to the lovely glass tea set on the coffee table. Glancing up to meet Bucky’s eyes, you could tell he was still bearing an annoyed look on his face.

You weren’t sure if it was his emotions from his exchange with Zemo or yours. Walking up to Zemo, you gave a polite smile before speaking.

“I would love to.” It was the second time that you acted out of character in a row. He knew that you didn’t like Zemo at all, only because of what Zemo had done to him. You were his girl (well sort of) and seeing you accepting Zemo’s offer even if it was just tea hit him differently.

Hearing how you graciously accepted the glass from Zemo and commenting on the fragrance of the brew, Bucky couldn’t believe his ears. He immediately stomped away from the scene before he felt like he would implode.

This was not right at all. Why would you suddenly act like this?

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Tag list: @tanyaherondale @spookycereal-s @cataves @archaeoheart @conflicted-noxsirius @archaeoheart @idiotinnit @anxious-stitcher @lindseyrae20 @mads-weasley

[earstwo]

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I hit 7k recently after losing almost 1.5k followers when I converted to a Reylo blog (not sorry in the slightest) and decided it was time to finally compile some of the INCREDIBLE fanfics that I’ve read since joining the fandom in December. 

I’m constantly impressed by the talent around here and I'm so grateful to love a ship that has some of the most amazing content I’ve ever seen. The creators in this fandom are second to none. I’m so thankful for all they do and all that they give to us. 

Please keep never stop sharing your gifts. <3 

**Note: Most (pretty much all) of these are rated E. 

Without further ado, here are (some of) my favorite stories: 

The Jedi Path  by SouthsideStory | 19k | E | I am such a sucker for Jedi Academy Ben and Rey. It’s everything I never knew I needed, and this fic is a beautiful rendition. If you know me at all, you know that I devour Angst with a Happy Ending stories, and this is no exception to that rule.

Exile by Ernzo | 22k | E | Oof. This one hurts. Leia sends Rey to the planet where Ben is exiled. It’s angsty and sad and cathartic in every way. I’ve read it dozens of times. 

Before the Saber Swings by @waterlilyrose​ | 28k | M |  Fuck. When I tell y’all that this story fucked me up, I mean it from the bottom of my s o u l. It stayed with me for days. I literally couldn’t get it out of my head. It felt so real to me that I was in physical pain while reading it. I also made an AU gifset of the fic with a quote from Buffy because I’m extra and love pain. 

penitence by @bettsfic​ | 16k | M | Look, Betts is one of my favorite fanfiction authors of all time. Her Bellarke works are some that I’ve read dozens of times and I was fucking ecstatic when I found out she also writes Reylo. This is an A+ TROS fix-it that is lovely and soft and sweet. 

The Writings of Ben Solo by BurnedStars777 | 39k | E | This was recced to me by the fabulous @galacticidiots​ and is just a fantastic story all around. Rey finds Ben’s journal whilst stuck on a planet with Kylo Ren and she (eventually) connects the dots. Rey falling in love with Ben sight unseen? Here. For. it.  find a thread to pull, and we can watch it unravel by again_please | 17k | E | A fantastic post-TLJ story with angsty and broody Ben and just some all around quality smut. I devoured this and have read it multiple time since. 

We Could Plant a House, We Could Build a Tree by @likeadove​ | 124k | E | I will probably never stop reading this fic. It’s such a beautiful coming of age story for Rey and her relationship with Ben as she grows up is just... gah. It’s fantastic. Please read it.    

Soul Searching by OptimisticBeth | 205k | E | Soulmates AU where Ben is Rey’s teacher? Sign me the fuuuuck up, and Soul Searching is so fucking well written. I go back to this one every few weeks and just gush at how great the world building is. I love the relationship Rey has with Leia and Han. It’s rich with love and angst and fluffffff. So good. 

Coveted by OptimisticBeth | 82k | E | WIP | OptimisticBeth is just an incredible writer, so you should honestly read all of her stuff, but I am so, so, so into this fic. It’s A/B/O and Ben’s Rey’s pack leader. He, along with a bunch of other Alphas are trying to court Rey, a highly desired Omega. It’s so fucking delicious, y’all. Alpha Ben Solo is just...it doesn’t get much better. 

A Treehouse Covered in Salt by violethoure666 | 34k | E | This fic made me cry my eyes out. I’m not kidding. It’s so raw and real. It hurts to read at some points, but you care so much about Ben and Rey in this that you fight through the pain. They grow up together as neighbors and Han builds them a treehouse where they meet throughout their childhoods/teen years. Prepare to cry but also be so fulfilled and satisfied. It’s wonderful. love it when you call me lover by @kylotrashforever​​ | 66k | E | WIP | First, let me say that anything by KTF is going to be gold. These fics I have listed are just a few of my favorites at the moment. Lover is hot as fuck (as is all of her stuff) but also fluffy in the best way. It’s in Sadsville right now so I’m fucking PUMPED for her to update. Ben’s a doctor who basically gives Rey a sexual awakening when he proves her statement of “I just don’t think I can come from (insert sexual act here)” very, very wrong.  

mountain at my gates by @kylotrashforever​ | 26k | E | More A/B/O goodness. Omega Rey’s car breaks down on a mountain. Ben is a mountain man Alpha. You can probably guess what happens from there. *fans self* 

take me to church by @kylotrashforever​ | 26k | E | I love this story so much. Ben is the pastor’s son at the church Rey grows up in. They start hooking up in secret and are terrrrrrible at communicating with each other which leads to angst. But it’s so sweet and soft while also being super hot. I love this Ben and Rey so much. 

Your Pretty Little Heart by @ever-so-reylo​ | 64k | E | The A/B/O Reylo bible, I feel like. They’re doctors and he’s a grumpy as fuck Alpha. Shenanigans ensue. And by shenanigans I mean a lot, a lot, a LOT of sex. 

The Food of Love by @lovesbitca8​ | 60k | E | Y’all. If you haven’t read this yet, please stop what you’re doing and read it RIGHT NOW. I ate this fic up in one sitting because holy SHIT it’s amazing. It’s so well written and the story is just... absolutely exquisite. Ben is cellist that’s also a famous rockstar and Rey’s an up and coming violinist and they fall in loOOoOOve in the best, most angsty, sexiest way. Please just read it right now. The scene when she firsts goes to his apartment and plays one of his cellos............you guys. It’s a lot.

Already Home by AttackoftheDarkCurses | 81k | E | This is soulmates + A/B/O so naturally I am obsessed with it. Rey gets connected with her soulmate via a website and he’s going by the name Kylo Ren. At the same time, she’s also moving in with grumpy librarian Ben Solo. She falls in love with both but has no idea that they’re the same person. It’s INCREDIBLE. 

Tangled but Unbroken by AttackoftheDarkCurses | 20k | M | I read this the other night and it’s so fucking soft. I am such a fucking sucker for growing up together fics and this is just such top quality. The braiding kills me every goddamn time. Also, I’m making my way through all of Attack’s works right now and they’re all incredible. Highly recommend. 

Dear Mr. President by @shmisolo​ | 89k | E | I love this Ben so much. The characterization is so on the money. The angst is absolutely delicious. The smut is top brass. Oh, and did I mention they’re soulmates? It’s everything you need, I promise. 

Good Day, Professor by @faequeentitania​ | 38k | E | One of the best Professor Solo fics out there. I’m such a sucker for age difference fics. Of course there’s angst, who do you think I am? 

Embers by sciosophia | 34k | E | Breaking up/getting back together fics are some of my favorites and this one is fantastic. The pining with these two is ridiculous. You just want to smush their faces together. It’s a beautiful love story. 

Reclaimed by @bettsfic​ | 14k | E | Ughhhhhhhhhh, Reclaimed. I am so in love with Reclaimed. Alpha Ben adopts Omega Rey after she’s rescued from this terrible Alpha that held her captive for most of her life. She doesn’t talk and Ben has to help her learn to be a human being and not just a subservient Omega. This Ben is the Ben of my dreams. No contest. 

the following are all written by  @kylorenvevo​. please read them all if you haven’t already. 

landscape with a blur of conquerers | 362k | E |  Y’all know this shit is fire. It’s basically the bible. If you haven’t read this yet, consider this as me yelling at you to do it NOW.   

like young gods | 84k | T | fuck, the Sword of the Jedi series is incomparable when it comes to in-universe fics. I cannot begin to express how much I love this story. It’s so soft and intense and sad. Like, gut wrenchingly sad. Ben senses Rey on Jakku when she’s six and he and Luke take her back to the Jedi Academy. She grows up with Ben. 

to kingdom come | 145k | M |  The sequel to Like Young Gods. I’m not gonna spoil much here, but just know I cried through most of this fic. I downright SOBBED at the end. It’s gorgeous and I will never stop rereading it. The love these two have for each other... it’s unreal. 

i kill giants  | 34k | E | WIP | The TROS fix-it we all need. Ben is alive and finds Rey on Tatooine. It’s soft and Thea does a great job of soothing so many of the gaping wounds we were left with after TROS. My heart soars every time I read a new chapter. This is what we deserved. :( 

the heartbreak prince | 58k | E | WIP |  Harry Potter AU. Professor/student. Size kink. Virginity kink. ANGST. All the good things life has to offer. Professor Solo is fucking filthy in this and I (along with Miss Niima)  am here 👏 for 👏 it. 

place the moon at my eyes (and her whiteness shall devour)  | 29k | E | Another breakup/get back together fic that I absolutely adore.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Thank you to everyone that’s been so kind and welcoming to me the past couple of months! I love this fandom and its energy and enthusiasm and how much everyone seems to care for each other. I hope that I can continue to create content for you forever <3 

[sincerelybluevase]

Careful, Madam Chapter Six

A/N Thank you all for being so patient! I didn’t think I’d ever finish this, but the final chapter has been written. You’ll have to wait a little bit for that, since the wonderful @thegirlisuedtobe is making a beautiful teaser for it, which I obviously want to post first. But rest assured; this fic is finished after chapter seven! The previous chapters can be read here.

All night I lay thinking as to what to do. Systematically, I went through every option I could think of until I arrived at the inevitable conclusion.  

The best I could hope for was for Maxim to be convicted of murder. I didn’t see that happen any time soon, though; everyone thought he and Rebecca had had the perfect marriage, so why should he have wanted to kill her? His identification of the wrong woman could easily be explained away as an honest mistake made when he was sick with grief and horror. That could not explain why Rebecca lay dead in her cabin, but then the authorities could hardly expect Maxim to know everything, now could they?

I could accuse Maxim of killing Rebecca and testify against him instead, but I rejected that idea just as I had done earlier that day when it first occurred to me. I did not think I would be believed, and even if I was, I didn’t think people would forgive me for betraying my husband. After all, he had lifted me up out of poverty and obscurity when he made me his wife. Many already believed I was after his money; if I repaid what they thought of as his kindness by seeing to it that he got hanged, they would think me a conniving little schemer who had murdered her husband to inherit his money. It would be all over the newspapers, and so everyone would know. Reporters would harass me, everyone else would snub me. I thought I might be able to bear that, but what life would that be for my child? For there was my little stranger to think of now.  

Perhaps it would be best for the baby if I did nothing. There’s a lot to say for being born in wealth and privilege, and few children would be more privileged than the ones born with the de Winter name. Manderley was a glorious place to grow up besides. In my mind’s eye I could see my child and I on the beach dragging driftwood from the surf, laughing as Jasper chased after seagulls. Afterwards we’d have tea under the chestnut tree, and I’d cut the crusts off a sandwich, because that was how they’d like their bread. Maxim would scold our child if he saw, because he had, no time for such puerile nonsense, but it would be all right, I would shield them from his moods, his madness. Yes, I could continue to be the second Mrs de Winter, shy and silent, a quiet little thing at my husband’s side. Rebecca had played at being a devoted wife really rather successfully, hadn’t she? And she had never even loved him. I had. Surely I could pretend I still did? For my child, I could go back to being the girl I had been just a few days ago… But no, I thought as I turned on my side, watching the form of my sleeping husband in his bed, I can never be that woman again. Not after finding out Maxim had murdered Rebecca. He had killed once; what was there to prevent him from killing me, too, if I shamed him?

And I had shamed him already, hadn’t I? He simply didn’t know it yet. What I had done with Mrs Danvers would ruin him and Manderley, should it ever come out. He’d kill me for that ten times over, and Mrs Danvers, too.

Mrs Danvers. Queer, loyal Mrs Danvers. What was she doing now? What I wouldn’t give to be with her, to try and alleviate her suffering! For she must suffer greatly now that she knew her beloved Rebecca’s death was murder, and she must seethe with rage and hatred for Maxim. That was perhaps my biggest fear: that she hungered for revenge and would harm herself to get it.

To keep her, my little stranger, and myself safe, there was only one thing to do: run away with Mrs Danvers. But how to accomplish it? I had no money, and there was no ready cash at Manderley; we had accounts at every store and company so that there was no need to pay with bills and coin. Maxim had given me no jewellery during our marriage, so that couldn’t be sold either. Still, I supposed I could find a way. The most important thing was to find Mrs Danvers before she could do anything harmful, and convince her to come away with me.

If she didn’t want to run away with me, I feared my heart would break.

*

Despite my sickening worries, I must have slept then, for the next time I opened my eyes, daylight had found its way into the room. It pooled onto the floorboards, heavy and hot. The bed beside me was empty. I fumbled for my watch, saw that the inquest was about to start. Maxim had left me behind, as he said he would. Two days ago, this would have broken my heart, but that morning, I found it a mercy.

I went to the bathroom, where I vomited. Perhaps it was the baby making me sick; perhaps just the great stress of the situation I had found myself in. I brushed my teeth,  dressed quickly, then went in search of Mrs Danvers. I kept wiping my hands on my dress. What if she had gone to the inquest? I should have stayed awake. But no, I found her where I expected her to be: in Rebecca’s room.

“Oh, Mrs Danvers,” I said. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, clutching Rebecca’s crumpled nightgown. Her eyes had turned to slits, so swollen were they from crying. She smelled of sorrow, that strange salty scent that clings to the hands and face. My heavy heart had lifted at the sight of her; now, it began to ache. “Oh, Mrs Danvers,” I repeated, “how your eyes must hurt!” Like two embers burning in her sockets, I imagined. And so, before doing anything else, I went into the bathroom and turned on the tap. I wetted my handkerchief under the cold water, then took it to her and dabbed at her eyes. She made to fend me off, stiffened, then succumbed.

“I’m sorry, Mrs Danvers. I didn’t mean to leave you after what I said. I suppose you’ve a lot of questions. I wanted to come see you sooner so we might talk about it, truly I did, but I could not find you, and then Mr de Winter wouldn’t let me out of his sight.” A drop of water course down the inside of my wrist, making me shiver.

She stilled my hand. “I always suspected he killed her,” she croaked. “She wouldn’t drown, not even in that squall, not my mistress, not she. For a year, I’ve suspected. I just couldn’t prove it. Tell me, Madam: how did he kill her?”

My throat was tight and dry. I swallowed painfully. “He shot her.”

She bared her teeth, her lips curling back like that of a corpse. “I thought he would. He’s always been a coward. He wouldn’t dare kill her with his bare hands. She would have fend him off, had he tried. Did she suffer?”

“No. She died instantly.”

“Will her bones show that he murdered her?”

I shook my head. “He said the bullet went straight through.”

“So he shall be acquitted then, won’t he? Colonel Julyan, the doctor performing the autopsy, they’re all his friends. They’ll want to believe in his innocence, and even if they didn’t, they’ll want to avoid a scandal. There’ll be no justice for my mistress. Not unless we testify.”

“They wouldn’t believe us. They think me a slutty interloper and you queer and hateful.”

Her shoulders tensed, but only for a moment; then, she slumped. She took the handkerchief from me and pressed it to her eyes so forcefully drops fell down like tears. “Thank you, Madam, for telling me.”

I sat down next to her, dimpling the mattress. The stale scent of azaleas mixed with dust rose up to meet me. “I have thought our situation over. I’ve turned every option round and round in my mind, and there’s only one thing for us to do, Mrs Danvers. We must run far, far away from here.”

She lowered the handkerchief and stared at me with those sore, burning eyes. “Run away?”

I nodded. “We can’t testify, and we can’t remain here. Would you be able to work for him as nothing had happened? I can’t go on being his wife, at any rate, not now that I know he’s a murderer. What’s there to stop him from murdering again? And there’s my little stranger to think about now, too…” I pressed a hand against my belly. How long until it would swell?

“No,” she said in a low voice, “No, I can’t work for him anymore. You are right. But he wouldn’t let you go, Madam, especially now that you’re carrying his heir. And how would we live?”

We, I thought, and through the sickness and despair, my heart fluttered, she said ‘we’. We shall do this together, she and I. I placed my hand on hers. “Working girls like us can always find something, and I’ve saved a little money when I was Mrs van Hopper’s companion. Surely you’ve saved, too?”

She nodded. “Yes. Yes, of course. I’ve always had little use for money. But I meant, do you want us to live together, Madam?”

“Yes, yes of course! I can’t imagine living without you anymore, Mrs Danvers. I think that, foolish as it may seem, I’ve come to love you deeply these past few days. It’s as if I’ve looked inside of you and seen you, really seen you, not the cold, efficient housekeeper, but the warm, feeling woman underneath.” Blood rushed to my cheeks, and I felt shy again, tortured by my anxieties. Perhaps I had been too eager, too forward. “Besides, it would be practical. To the outside world, I can be a widow and you my aunt. No one would question it.”

She sat still for a moment, then clasped my hands and brought them to her mouth, kissing them with dry lips. “No one has ever wanted to live with me like that. I’ve always been needed as a nanny, or a housekeeper. Never as a person. Thank you, Madam,” she murmured.

I rested my head against her shoulder. “When should we leave, do you reckon?” Every fibre of my being wished to never see Maxim again, but if we left too hastily, we might make mistakes that could lead Maxim to us. Better to suffer his presence for a little while longer if that meant I could be rid of him forever.

“Not quiet yet, Madam. In a month, perhaps. It gives you time to lull Mr de Winter into a false sense of security, and by then you won’t be so sick with child anymore. Besides, it will give me the time I need to prepare our journey.”

“Will it be hard for you, to leave Manderley? It has been your home for years.”

She stroked a line on the back of my hand. “It was my home because of my mistress. I’ve a new mistress now. Where she leads, I shall follow, and let her be my home.”

Tears pricked in my eyes. “And you shall be mine. My God, I can hardly wait. It shall be heaven, to be with you, to never have to see Mr de Winter again.”

“Well, well, well,” a voice said.

I got up and whipped around. My bowels turned to water and my knees were so weak I almost had to sit down again.

Maxim stood on the threshold, his face that strange waxen mask I had observed in him often when he was tired or angry. “Maxim,” I said stupidly. “I thought… the inquest…”

“That didn’t take more than an hour. A verdict of accidental death. I rushed straight home to tell you the good news, only I couldn’t find you. You can imagine my surprise when Frith told me he had seen you gone into Rebecca’s rooms. I almost didn’t follow you here, but then I thought, what power does that perverted slut hold over me now that I’ve killed her and gotten away with it? Only I didn’t expect to find that my devoted little wife has turned out to be a perverted little slut as well, scheming with a housekeeper twice her age to elope.”

“I didn’t… we weren’t…”

“You little bitch,” he hissed. He dashed through the room and struck me so quickly I barely saw his fist move. His knuckles connected with my cheekbone. The pain took a few seconds to arrive, hot and sharp.

Oh, I thought stupidly. I made to press a hand to my cheek, but he grabbed my wrists and pulled me to him. “You little bitch!” he roared, spittle flying from his mouth. “How dare you leave me?!”

He shook me so hard my teeth rattled. This, I thought with icy certainty, this is how I shall die: at the hands of my husband. Funny; he hadn’t dared kill Rebecca with his own hands, but then I had never quite measured up to his first wife, now had I?

“Stop!” I pleaded. “Maxim, please stop! You’re scaring me!”

He slapped my face with an open palm, bringing tears to my eyes. He raised his hand to strike again when Mrs Danvers said, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, sir.”

A metallic click sounded.

Maxim turned to look at her, his hand frozen in mid-air.

Mrs Danvers was pointing a gun at him.

Tagging: @solattea, @mlletina, @msmaryadmitrievna, @alice1nwond3rland, @need-not, @halewynslady

[nouraalali]

The Progress of LGBT representation in American

Before the events of Before Stonewall that took place in 1969, members of the gay, lesbian and transgender community endured constant attacks and harassment from police raids. At the time, members of the LGBTQ did not know that their sexuality had political implications or that there would ever be a new way of life other than in hiding in shame and wishing the police did not attack them. However, since there was little to no media coverage at the time because the LGBTQ community was not yet identified and categorized, the media did not spend their time, technology, and space covering their events in footage or writings in newspapers or magazines. During the early 1960s, even the word lesbian hardly surfaced in mainstream conversations. Gayism, on the other hand, was considered slang, and the term homosexual had not been coined at the time. The first known use of the term homosexual was in Charles Gilbert Chaddock’s 1892 translation of Richard von Krafft-Ebing's Psychopathia Sexualis, a study of sexual practices. During the 1960s, there was old-fashioned homophobia that revolved around homosexuality, and this would explain why there was little to no media coverage of such topics by the media despite the LGBTQ community's continued harassment by members of the police force. The grassroots riots by the drag queens, butch lesbians, male sex workers, and androgynous youths were deemed so insignificant that neither the Life magazine nor the Time magazine dared to cover them. Even the three main TV stations at the time bothered to send camera operators to record the riots.

In 1969 at a dingy, Mafia-owned bar in Greenwich Village, the LGBTQ community reached a breaking point due to their continued harassment by the police. Unlike previous raids, on this day, they refused to be herded into a police van for their umpteenth arrests. This was the beginning of a six-day route that started in Stonewall Inn to Christopher Street and the neighboring areas.

With such an outbreak, the media could no longer turn a blind eye to the LGBTQ community. The media coverage started helping the public visibility of same-sex sexuality. By airing and publishing interviews and protests of famous LGBTQ members, the public started to accept same-sex orientation as part of their societal sexual preference, and names like gay and lesbian were not as frowned upon as before. The media made it easier for the LGBTQ community by increasing same-sex orientation's visibility and perceived legitimacy. At the time, the idea of being LGBTQ had begun to gradually weaken the predominance of the heteronormative discourse and the formation of homonormative lessons. This means that the media was at the forefront of portraying how gay and lesbian individuals should appear and behave.

Identity Politics and Impact of Grassroots Organization in Redefining the Status of LGBTQ

The post-Stonewall gay liberation movements restored radical energies seeking to align politics with radical social change in American society. Legendary activists such as Barbara Gittings from Philadelphia and Franck Kameny from Washington DC understood that there needed to be a radical change that was big enough to overturn the laws that kept embers of the LGBTQ stuck in their second-class status. After the uproar of the Stonewall resistance, it became a symbol that would inspire solidarity among many homosexuals’ groups worldwide. While historians agree that the Stonewall riots were not the first to initiate the gay rights movement, they agree that it did serve as a catalyst for a new era of political activism, especially those campaigning for equal rights for members of the LGBTQ.

Historians recognize older groups such as the Mattachine society founder in California and flourished in the 1950s. Lilli Vincenz and Frank Kameny, two members of the Mattachine Society of Washington, participated in the discussions, planning, and protection of the first Ride along with activists in New York. Additionally, the Mattachine were enlisted as stalwart Cold Warriors, and they used these anti-communist credentials to push for citizenship rights. However, since the riots, new groups appear such as the Gay Activists Alliance (GAA) and the Gay Liberation Front (GLF). These groups launched numerous public demonstrations whose main goal was protesting the lack of civil rights for members of the LGBTQ. Although the lesbian community was not as affected as the gay community, they shared the desire to have a secure place in the world community at large. Unchallenged by the fear of violence, they ganged up with the gay community to voice their desires for equal treatment under the law and their unwillingness to be considered second-class citizens. These alliances, in many cases, resulted in such tactics as the disruption of public meetings and public confrontation with political officials to force them to recognize members of the gay community. Unlike before, when gay protests were frowned upon by both the media and the public, members of the gay community demanded respect and acceptance after the Stonewall uprising. Many gay and lesbian communities’ members demanded equal treatment in employment, public policy, and housing. Through continued radical activism, a new motion was set in place, one that discourages discrimination against members of the LGBTQ by government policies. I

t was not until December 1973 that the vote to remove homosexuality from its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual was cast, and the motion passed. Historians consider this one of the most significant early achievements of the post-Stonewall LGBTQ movement, especially since the new law undercut all forms of discrimination against members of the LGBTQ. The nondiscriminatory trend was also forced to educate society on the significance and contributions of the gay community. In response to their activism, any jurisdictions in the United States enforced laws banning any form of discrimination against homosexuals. They also increased the number of employment and agreed to offer "domestic partner" benefits similar to life insurance, health care, and in some cases, pension benefits to heterosexual married couples.

AIDS Crisis in Redefining the status of LGBTQ

In the United States, AIDS was particularly prevalent in the urban gay community, especially during its first discovery phase. For this reason, the public developed a somewhat negative perception of lesbians and gay individuals. Although there were not publicly prosecuted, bt members of the lesbians and gay community were singled out and discriminated against, particularly because they were blamed for the transmission of HIV. Gay and lesbian couples were losing their loved ones to this new disease that only seemed to affect the gay and lesbian community; it drove a shockwave of fear of death from contracting the disease in the community. As a result, there was an increased stigma, violation of human rights, discrimination, and physical violence against members of the LGBTQ. Most of the LGBTQ members at the time adopted "social homophobia." They unknowingly contracted and lived with the virus for fear of societal discrimination whenever they thought of testing or healthcare treatment. One research reports that due to this "social homophobia," members of LGBTQ exhibited adverse mental issues such as depression and anxiety, and many were driven into substance abuse and addiction.

For this reason, gays and lesbians were at the forefront of advocacy for research into the disease and the provision of better support for its victims. One such group recognized for this effort was the Gay Men's Health Crisis located in New York City. AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (ACT UP), founded by Larry Kramer, was another group that actively campaigned to promote political action against the disease through his writing in local chapters in cities such as Washington D.C, Los Angels, Paris, San Francisco, and New York.

Many members of ACT UP were sick with the virus themselves, and they engaged in civil disobedience in protest for increased research on HIV/AIDS in the attempt to find a cure for the virus. Activists such as Kramer made good use of the media when they established AIDS organizations. These organization's central role was to increase media exposure on the risks that members of the LGBTQ were facing as well as encouraging them to come out in huge numbers to fight for their rights. Through such organization and media coverage, it forced the government and private drug companies to pursue research that led to the discovery of ARVs as a treatment for HIV/AIDS and saved the lives of not only the gay community but infected heterosexuals as well.

References

Butler, I. (n.d.). This remarkable history of the fight against AIDS is a guide to the battle yet to come. Slate Magazine. https://slate.com/culture/2016/12/david-frances-how-to-survive-a-plague-reviewed.html

Corry, J. (1985, June 27). Film: Documentary on homosexuals (Published 1985). The New York Times - Breaking News, US News, World News and Videos. https://www.nytimes.com/1985/06/27/movies/film-documentary-on-homosexuals.html

Heiko Motschenbacher, H. (2019, November 18). Language use before and after Stonewall: A corpus-based study of gay men’s pre-Stonewall narratives - Heiko Motschenbacher, 2020. SAGE Journals. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1461445619887541

History. (2018, June 1). How the Stonewall Riots Sparked a Movement | History. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9wdMJmuBlA

Holden, S. (2013, February 20). They wouldn’t take no for an answer in the battle against AIDS (Published 2012). The New York Times - Breaking News, US News, World News and Videos. https://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/21/movies/how-to-survive-a-plague-aids-documentary-by-david-france.html

John-Manuel, A. (2019, June 14). Film: "Before Stonewall" Explores LGBTQ pain and resilience. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stonewall-strong/201906/film-stonewall-explores-lgbtq-pain-and-resilience

Lecklider, A. S. (2021, June 10). The push for LGBTQ equality began long before Stonewall. The Washington Post. https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2021/06/10/push-lgbtq-equality-began-long-before-stonewall/

Weiss, A. (2019, June 30). Creating the first visual history of queer life before Stonewall. The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2019/06/before-stonewall-documentary-archives-history-invisible/592675/

Winik, M. (2016, November 28). David France’s eyewitness account of AIDS activism. Newsday. https://www.newsday.com/entertainment/books/how-to-survive-a-plague-review-david-france-s-exhaustive-history-of-aids-activism-1.12667430

[darklydeliciousdesires]

A Fate Unimagined - Chapter Eleven.

So sorry this is really late being posted! I neded a day away from my laptop, doing other things than all revolving around the Internet. 

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Previous Chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten

Chapter Eleven

“That is absolutely, one hundred percent, utterly impossible, Rin. It couldn’t have been me, I’m completely infertile, you know this,” he told her, unsure why the fuck she was trying to lay responsibility at his door, but feeling pissed off that she’d attempted such at all.  

“I know, I know that for all intents and purposes this pregnancy absolutely shouldn’t be, but you’re the only man I’ve been with in months. I’ve missed my bleed for two moons now, you’re the father, Geralt.” He wouldn’t believe it, couldn’t believe it, shaking his head as a frown creased his forehead.

“You’re lying, you’re trying to make me responsible for some other man’s mistake and I won’t fucking let you do that, Rin. Did you honestly think such would work? I’ve been infertile for fucking decades, it just isn’t possible so why, for the love of the gods have you concocted a plan so fucking stupid?” he shouted, becoming angry with her.  

“Look, I know expecting you to be immediately acquiescent to this news is a lot, if not too much to ask, but see what you’ve just said is exactly why I wouldn’t make this up, or try to pin it on you should this child that I carry not be yours!  

“I know how ridiculous it sounds, I’ve done nothing but mull over how the fuck this came to be when your bollocks and their contents are purely ornamental. Why would I make this a thousand times harder for myself in coming to tell you that unless I drink a beaker full of milk of arran root, you’re going to be a father? Why would I do that when it’s so inconceivable?” She yelled, a few people walking past stopping to look.  

Milk of arran root was a powerful tonic used to bring about a miscarriage, aborting a foetus relatively painlessly and quickly. It was an option Rin had weighed up for the last week heavily since her second absent bleed had failed to happen, pointing at only one conclusion. It was far from logical though. It was absolutely impossible, yet it had happened.  

It hadn’t felt right though, to go ahead with such without tracking Geralt down, as she had been doing a couple of weeks since missing her first bleed. She had to tell him, but also she knew her news was likely to be disbelieved. Still, it made his angry reaction no easier.  

“You’re fucking lying! Stop with your foolishness and fuck off back to wherever you came and to whomever got you into the current predicament you’re attempting to palm off upon me.” He roared at her, just as Riley came outside after hearing their raised voices.  

“Whatever is the purpose of all this shouting? Geralt come back, Rin, are you? Oh for fucks sake. You’ve made her cry!” He called after his friend, Geralt neither caring nor ceasing in his need to put distance between himself and her in that moment.  

He could have laughed at her ridiculousness, yet somewhere deep down, something told him she wasn’t lying. This, however, he was not prepared to deal with just yet.  

“Rin, why the tears?” Riley asked, the ember feeling ridiculously embarrassed as he pulled her into a hug, saving her shame a little and letting her cry against the privacy of his chest.  

Her pregnancy hormones had just started to run wild, the sight of a baby deer suckling from its mother making her burst out crying the day before. For someone who couldn’t remember ever shedding emotional tears before, it was quite unsettling to her.  

She explained it all to him, Riley listening to everything even though it was mostly with a very wide-open mouth and eyes the size of teacup saucers, floored by her news completely. His reaction was in stark contrast to Geralt’s though, luckily for her.  

“I believe you, Rin. As ludicrous as it all sounds, I know you wouldn’t have put yourself through telling someone as fucking cantankerous as Geralt, who took the news exactly as you predicted he would, should you not be telling the truth. Look, go inside and get yourself a drink, I’ll sort him out. Here,” he told her, pushing some coins into her hand.

“No. It’s fine, Riley. I have money,” she tried to protest, the witcher shaking his head.  

“Let me, go on. Go sit down, aren’t pregnant women supposed to be frequently tired? You go inside and I’ll be back as soon as I can talk some sense into him.” Kissing her forehead, Riley then left to run after Geralt, who was no longer in sight, leaving Rin to go inside and request a mug of the hot cider she could smell.  

It was with jangling nerves and great trepidation that she waited, taking a seat in the corner and sighing. What a mess this all was. If there was one breed of man you didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant from, it was a witcher.

Apparently Geralt wasn’t as sterile as he’d thought, perhaps there was a minute chance he could father children and this was the tiny percentage revealing itself? Rin didn’t know, she just hoped that Riley could calm him down enough so they could have an adult conversation about where to go from there.  

“Fuck off, Riley,” the man himself warned, sitting on a large fallen tree to the edge of the small woodland he’d walked off to.  

“No, I won’t bloody fuck off!” he began, sitting down next to him. “You’ve left a pregnant woman in tears back there. Where’s your fucking honour?” he spat, not impressed by his friend’s actions. He did understand the reaction though, because the news was absolutely unbelievable.

“I have no honour when I am being willingly lied to. I won’t be deceived by her, you shouldn’t let yourself either,” he stated firmly, turning to view Riley with his jaw set in anger.  

“Geralt, come on. This is you we’re talking about here. You’re not exactly the most amiable person in the world and Rin absolutely would have known exactly how hostile you would react towards such news, which begs the question why would she make this so difficult for herself if you truly weren’t the father of her baby?  

“I have no fucking idea how such an impossible occurrence actually came to be. A wiser, greater man than I would have to answer that perplexing puzzle for you, but surely you realise that she’s not lying to you by that fact alone?” He put to him, Geralt sighing and running a hand over his face.

“I don’t know. Can you leave me here for a while? I’ll return when I’m ready. I need my own company, no one else inflicting themselves upon either my space or my thoughts.” Riley nodded, grasping his shoulder in a supportive gesture and getting up to leave him to it. Knowing him for as long as he had, he knew if he stayed he’d likely make the situation a million times worse.  

He could have chimed in with further thoughts, but he’d told him the most important part. Now was the time to leave Geralt be. Truly, it wasn’t any of his business to impose himself further into this, but once back at the tavern he was a friendly ear for Rin, the young woman riddled with anxiety so much that her hands tremored.  

“Do you know what you shall do yet?” he asked, referring of course to the fate of the tiny life she carried within.

“Alas not. My first thoughts were to just deal with it, drink milk of arran root and get on with my life, but that option didn’t feel right. I couldn’t get rid of a baby fathered by a man who didn’t think he ever could. That guilt would have eaten away at me too much, so I knew I had to track him down. I could regret doing so, but I don’t,” she confided, Riley nodding and taking a swig of fire rum.  

“I can see how you’d think that. You’re young, you’re an ember. Neither of these things exactly go hand in hand with motherhood. Then again, who says you have to be conventional? You make good money, you could hire some kind of baby nurse to travel with you, should you decide to go keep it. That isn’t for me to suggest though. Sorry. It isn’t my business,” Riley replied, waving his hand dismissively.

“No, you’re only trying to be helpful. I see this and thank you for it. I hadn’t considered that to be an option. Would you mind awfully if we changed the subject though? I need a distraction while I await Geralt’s return. If he returns. Tell me all about the whore who did criminal things with her mouth.”  

She then played captive audience to Riley’s salacious tales of the whore house, laughing for the first time in weeks as he regaled her with his stories. He didn’t speak exclusively of sex though, also telling her of his faux pas when out on a job, searching for a Bruxa who almost outwitted him.  

“See you can just throw fire at them and boom, job done. Burning them is effective, but that screech! Lords, I thought my ears were about to explode as I went flying from one side of the river to the other, the fucking thing swerving the Quen I tried to stop her noise with. Thank fuck for silver swords. I was grateful to take her head that morning, I can tell you,” he explained, Rin nodding.

“They’re my least favourite of the vampires, those and the night stalkers. Even for us and our superior hearing, we don’t hear them coming until they’re right there on top of us. I remember one I encountered up in Cintra, I actually smelled it first because it was half rotten.  

“It took me days to get the stench off me and out of my clothes. People wouldn’t let me in their establishments. In the end a kind corn merchant let me bathe in an outdoor trough he used to water his horses while his wife soaked my clothes to remove the smell. It was foul!” she told him, Riley laughing heartily.  

Indeed, the stench of the night stalker, a breed of vampire who remained immortal but also succumbed to the rotting process, was disgusting. He’d fallen foul of it a few times himself. He was glad he could lift her spirits a little, enjoying their conversation for a few hours, until the return of Geralt brought such to a halt.  

He stood by the tavern door, making a face that said he wished to speak to her alone, Rin squeezing Riley’s hand and thanking him for looking after her before she got up and left.  

“Have you calmed down now?” She asked, watching him nodding.  

“I apologise for accusing you of lying to me, Rin. I think what both you and Riley stated in saying that I wouldn’t be the easiest person to give such news to, therefore why would you bother if such were not true has sealed it for me. I do believe you,” he said, resting his hands to her shoulders.  

“So now we can at least discuss where we go from here. Firstly though, I confess, I would like to put you to other use if I may? Pregnancy it seems, has left me with the kind of elevated libido that has seen me having to relieve my frustrations at least four times a day by my own hand. It would be nice if it could be by someone else’s for once,” she confided, Geralt raising an eyebrow.  

“How about a mouth?” he suggested.

“Even better.” With that, they walked the short way to the inn he was staying at, both content to delay the inevitable discussion for a while by enjoying the act that had led them to their predicament in the first place.

[eastonia-blog]

I’m going to do a weird.

I know a whole lot of us are stuck at home due to the COVID19 outbreak and all our respective governments attempting to flatten the curve. So I’m going to break out my VAST library of fanfiction recommendations for you to read! Please bear in mind that my tastes in fics are not necessarily like yours so the following 15 Fandom reccs might be hit or miss. All ships and above T ratings will be tagged with brackets, all crossovers will be mentioned in those same brackets. Also, if I mention it’s part of a series, I’m not just recommending the fic I mentioned, I’m recommending the whole series. I’ve tried to recommend a different author’s fic each time. So! Let’s start with the 3 fandoms I mention in my blog description.

1) ATLA Fate Deferred (Zutara) Aang remains in the iceberg ten years longer. Sozin’s comet comes, the world keeps turning with no Avatar to save it, and by the time he’s finally found by a waterbender and her Fire Nation husband, a lot has changed. [Zutara established relationship full series rewrite; Now on Book II: Earth]  Cheating at Pai Sho (Canon Divergence) “You said you were the Avatar!” “…I lied?” Aang doesn’t get rescued in episode two, and no one’s seen him go glowy yet… so he starts bluffing. Hard. Or: “The Avatar joins Zuko’s quest to find the Avatar.” In which Zuko doesn’t join the Gaang, the Gaang joins Zuko.  The Undying Fire: Blood and Fire (First in the Undying Fire Series, eventual Zutara) Book 1. In which rescuing the Avatar from Pohuai Stronghold doesn’t end so well. It’s a tough life being a banished prince trying to get home, especially when the Avatar just wants to be your friend and keeps making everything confusing. Oh, and did Zuko mention he somehow healed the kid? Yeah, that happened. Stalking Zuko (First in the Stalking Zuko Series, eventual Zutara) Katara has developed a new hobby. At the Western Air Temple she takes to stalking Zuko. Much silliness and shenanigans follow. In chapter 20: Katara and Zuko return home to the others. Katara hates the F word and she comes to a decision regarding Zuko.  Embers (Canon divergence) Dragon’s fire is not so easily extinguished; when Zuko rediscovers a lost firebending technique, shifting flames can shift the world…  2) Percy Jackson and the Olympians The Father (Percabeth in the GFFA, eventual Anidala) It all started with a wish, but because it was Percy Jackson it couldn’t have been a friendly goddess granting him a wish. No, it had to be Nemesis, goddess of revenge and balance. Now Percy and Annabeth are stuck in a strange new galaxy right when an ancient and powerful darkness finally begins to stir.  Glass Figures (MCU Mashup) I lifted my gun, pointing it towards the minefield of shattered fragments, and kicked the small coffee table out of the way.Only to stare down at an awfully familiar face, which split into a somewhat lopsided grin. The intruder raised his hands in a mocking surrender. //“Long time no see, dude.” //I lowered the gun. “What the hell are you doing in South Peru?” //Or in which Clint Barton and Percy Jackson have a long personal history that starts in high school. All Together, Cousins (Canon divergence) When Thalia ran away with her toddler brother, Jason, she slowly gathered her cousins: she and her cousins being Big Three children. As Jason gets older and their motley group expands to six, Thalia resigns herself to the fact that she won’t always be the leader of the pack. As she accepts that, something more is coming, able to challenge even the gods above. A Crown of Golden Leaves (Historical AU) Annabeth, a Lady from the declining polis of Athens, must marry the Heir Apparent of Rome to save the rapidly expanding world from a threat even the gods couldn’t foresee.  Deluge (Percy in the Arrowverse) Barry has to deal with yet another Metahuman that Zoom has pitted against him. But this ‘Metahuman’ is an unwilling pawn in Zoom’s plan and really wants to find a way around killing the Scarlet Speester. But how can he when Zoom is holding something against him? 

3) DC Firework (First in the Sparks in the Dark Series) Orphaned and removed from the only life he’s ever known, Dick feels like there’s no light left for him in the world. His new benefactor, however, still sees something worth saving… Chronological beginning of the Spark in the Dark series.   Iron, Fire, Mirror-Glass After a brutal confrontation with Bane, Bruce comes away with a broken spine and the certainty that his days as Batman are over. An unexpected discovery offers him another chance—but at what price? The story of a man who risks his soul for the sake of his mission, the dangerous creature he names Robin, and the unlikely partnership that will shape the legend of Gotham’s Dark Knight.  Get Back Up There was a mole, one who played a long game. The team was betrayed, crushed. Robin nearly died. What are they going to do now? Only one chirped the answer. Get back up. WARNING: lots of talking, little action, many follow ups  Five Times …Five times Damian thought of Dick Grayson as his father, and the one time Dick thought of Damian as his son. Future-fic. YJ characters will show up later. Batman!Dick and Damian as Robin. With guest appearances from Jason, Tim, Cass, and Steph.  Unveiling the Mystery Series of one-shots about the team learning a little about Robin (Dick Grayson).   With all the fics, I heavily suggest you also read what else these authors have to offer in their archive.

And now here’s the plethora of other fandoms I read fics in under the cut!

4) Harry Potter The Horse (Mature) Looking after a Muggle animal should be easy compared to saving Hogwarts from Voldemort. Harry and Draco might disagree with that. Featuring Luna, Marauders, peppermints and, of course, a tall, black, badtempered horse named Simon. The Potions Master’s Nephew An accident occurs and Professor Snape finds himself trapped in his fifteen-year-old body. Enrolled into Harry Potter’s fifth year, he is forced to hide his true identity. Girls, drama and teenage angst do not bode well with Severus. Keeping Up with the Grangers (Dramione, Mature) Mr. Malfoy, I invite you and your mother to tea next Tuesday, May 25th at 2o’clock to discuss recent events. Dr. Helen Granger //…  …// He glances at the boxy too-uniform numbers flashing on the face of Richard’s radio. It’s nearly noon, and he should be getting ready to leave; but there is still a harsh tension in his shoulders and neck that he wants to work out before Hermione finds him. It is, after all, Tuesday; and while his Tuesdays were designated ‘tea with Helen’ days previously, they are now ‘lunch with Granger’ days, ever since the chance meet-up with the Weasel’s wife and the insufferable swot herself. Faceless (Dramione, Mature) New year. New love. New threat. A powerful enemy is on the rise, and Hermione Granger finds herself intertwined in a relationship with Draco Malfoy – only she doesn’t know it’s him. / / RUNNER-UP: Enchanted Awards Summer 2017 for Best Relationship Development 

5) Devil May Cry And the Rest is Silence (Mature) The destruction of the Saviour wasn’t the end. Too many people had too much invested.  An Uncle’s Thoughts Dante’s thoughts and feelings regarding one particular quarter-demon kid. Vignettes that span from the start of Devil May Cry 4 through Devil May Cry 5, and beyond. Fortuna’s Fool Events after DMC5 with flashbacks to the events we briefly see in DMC4SE only with Vergil telling Dante all about Nero’s mother. Family ties are so complicated, aren’t they? Family of Happenstance Some orphans have happy endings, getting adopted or finding their family. Having a demon slaying half devil for a father tends to throw a tiny monkey wrench in the process. AU Father!Dante, Son!Nero. Rated because hunters don’t exactly have clean mouths.     

6) Power Rangers (Focus on Might Morphin’ and Dino Thunder teams) Of Love and Bunnies Set just after Dino Thunder. When Angel Grove announces another Power Rangers Day, Tommy takes the Dino Rangers to Angel Grove for a reunion with the original team… including Kimberly. TommyKim, JasonTrini, KiraTrent. The Reason (Part 1 of eclyptyk neo‘s Dino Thunder AU) COMPLETED. DT. AU. Years go by as Tommy Oliver becomes accustomed to his job as a teacher. A person from his past returns. The new ranger team grows interested in its outcome. How will these new changes between rangers young and old be? Sequel: Ordinary World Change of Hearts (Wild Force)   PRWF: When Jindrax and Toxica set out to find themselves, they had no idea that their greatest adventure was only beginning. Chronology Conundrum DT/MMPR - After a strange mutation is released in Reefside, the five Dino Thunder Ranges find themselves thrown back into the past, circa 1995 Angel Grove. Somehow, they have to figure out how to make it back to their present without destroying it or themselves. And if they succeed, they must navigate the consequences of their actions in the past, while still protecting Reefside. 7) Merlin (Mergana leaning) The Other Version of Events What if Merlin and Arthur had met when they were children? What if a mysterious illness fell over Ealdor and Merlin was blamed? What if Arthur had actually felt sorry for him? What if destiny was thrown at them in a whole new way? AU, no slash, Bromance, A/G M/M… You get the idea.  Flipping the Coin, Part 2 of Coins (2nd story in the Coins Sage but 1st multichapter) Merlin and Gwaine are sent on an adventure to discover their past and stay one step ahead of Morgana. Fearing for them, Arthur and the other knights set out to find them, but soon discover much more than they bargained for. Alt version Season 5. Sequel to “Two Sides of the Coin” Angst, Adventure, BAMF, Bromance, Redemption, Twists on Arthurian Legends.  The King’s Legacy “I hope you are rolling in your grave brother, I will find your son, and I hope he is like you. I will ruin him and gain a lovely weapon in the process.” Cenred spat on the grave, “I win Balinor.” .Sequel posted.  The Warlock’s Quickening (First in the Albion Cycle) Merlin might have come to Camelot to master his magic, not to end the Purge, but he’s not going to sit idly by while his kin suffer. Oh no. Whether it’s releasing a chained dragon, smuggling sorcerers out of the city, or trying to change Arthur’s mind, he’s fighting back. Now. Series rewrite beginning after 1X02 featuring Proactive!Merlin. AU. 

8) Dragon Ball Under the Radar (Gohan/Videl) Gohan is living life as a secret superhero, but Videl is making it her business to find him out! How will Gohan manage her and Saiyan hormones? Will he fess up? Or will he try to live his life -puts on sunglasses- “Under the Radar”? *applause* Thank you! Thank you! And GOODNIGHT! G/V obviously. Rated T because adult situations and language in later chapters. COMPLETE! Golden God (Mature) To save the lives of millions, Gohan is forced to expose himself as a Super Saiyan, proving that his tricks are indeed very real. And it drives the whole world to insanity. Warning; becomes a little graphic goes as it on. Walking Towards the Sunset Bardock’s curse sends him to a mysterious place where weaklings are abundant and an odd trio claim to be his family. Eventually giving in, he stays with them to discover that Earth is more unlucky than Planet Vegeta. Impatiently waiting for his son’s arrival, Bardock has to survive a new life with his estranged family and a certain girl set on finding the truth. (Saiyaman-Buu Saga) Plus One (Gohan/Videl, Mature) Tired of being pursued by the gold-digging, glory-seeking, Satan obsessed freaks of the world, Videl will resort to the only method open to a celebrity like her to find Mr. Right. 9) Sailor Moon (Mainly SenshiShitennou) The Crystal Age (Rewritten) In an alternate version of Season 1, as a result of Beryl’s curse at the end of the Silver Age, Tuxedo Mask and the reincarnated Shitennou are fighting a losing battle to save the city and find the lost princess. Sailor Moon has disappeared, Sailor V is working on her own, and the other Senshi are still just ordinary girls. Sequel to The Silver Age. MxU, SxS. Please R&R. Hooligans It’s after Galaxia and time for University. The Senshi and Mamoru settle into life in Great Britain and meet some old friends. Inner Senshi x Shitennou and Usagi x Mamoru. Modern Timeline. Strong language, crude humour, hilarity and sexual situations abound, be warned, there will be some heavy angst later on too. Never Gone R A single choice can change the course of Fate: a choice, say, like waking up on time. If that choice were made, Chiba Mamoru would never meet Tsukino Usagi; but, he WOULD meet Unami Seiya and the burden of Terra’s future would fall onto his shoulders. Never Gone AU. The Dinner Hour (Part of The Dinner Series) It can be hard to be patient in the face of eternity. But good things come to those who search and refuse to give up on their dreams. R/J. (Sequels: Dinner And Again, Dinner at Last completed!)

10) Les Miserables (Warning: Enjonine ahead) When Apollo Met Persephone (1st of the 1830s AU) The revolution, or at least the first part of it succeeds. Enjolras confronts political and personal realities. Eponine is suddenly faced with more opportunities than she ever thought. Can they guide each other in a world that needs them as much as they need it? Les Choses Qui Sont Arrivées Après “You must flee Paris at once.” Enjolras and Eponine. The thief and the leader, the marble Apollo and the dark street girl… two wholly different survivors of the Revolution are forced together under a dangerous circumstance. Can they successfully fight their demons as well as each other? Neither of them knows quite what is going on, or what will happen when they figure it out.     Teacher of Man The first time Enjolras and Éponine meet, it is their wedding day. (arranged marriage AU) My Best Friend’s Wedding Éponine Thenardiér always thought that Marius would eventually come back to her, until the wedding invitation came in the mail. Now she is going to do everything that she can to get him back from that blonde tart Cosette. Nothing goes according to plan and even her partner in crime Enjolras is becoming an obstacle. E/E. 11) Naruto Beginnings  Naruto was six years old when he met the man who changed his life. …Now he’s kind of just hoping he survives it.  An Inch of Gold (Part of the Legacy of Fire series) Team 7 is sent on a mission to investigate a disturbance outside of the village, where they encounter an unconscious girl in a crater. The mysterious Sarada insists she’s a shinobi from the Hidden Leaf trying to rescue her teammates. When the team discovers she possesses a Sharingan, things become even more unbelievable. [Part of the Legacy of Fire Series]     Guilt of Innocence Uchiha Sasuke abandoned Konoha in his persute of power to join Orochimaru. However, this was only a cover story. In fact, on Tsunade’s orders, Sasuke is to act as Konoha’s spy within Otogakure. One agreement and his path had changed forever…  Blind (SasuSaku) It was almost time, Orochimaru was going to take his body as a vessel. He hated being used…he refused to be used. With that thought, he took the kunai in his hand and slashed across his eyes.     

12) Legend of Zelda (Zelink) The Conviction to Save The princess is dead. Those are the words being whispered in the streets. A great shudder sweeps across the land of Hyrule as news of its beloved monarch’s passing spreads like wildfire. In the midst of the ensuing chaos, a humble village doctor happens upon the body of a gravely injured young woman on the road. Legend of the Miraculous (Concepts taken from Miraculous Ladybug)   A legend retold through many a tale, but when a darkness resurfaces after so long, Athena and Sheikhan Wolf must return again! Will Link and Zelda be able to combat this threat? and will they figure out each others’ identities? Come inside and take a look! Hit List AU. It all started as a typical day at Ordon High, until a sudden school shooting turns the life of Link Hero upside down. Now, surrounded by enemies, can Link save his friends and escape the school alive? (Edit 10/2015) Counting Stars Link finds himself caught in the middle of an elaborate gang war. Lucky for him, being a B-list superhero makes that predicament a tiny bit easier. / Modern AU ZeLink, inspired by Spider-Man. Under Revision! 13) Hunger Games Vox Libertas Due to things playing out a bit differently in the last few minutes of the Quell, the rescue also goes a bit differently than expected. Now Peeta has the responsibility of representing the Rebellion thrust upon him. No pressure. *AU Mockingjay. Part I of Dandelion in the Storm AU. Mainly Peeta POV.*     Someone To Watch Over Me (Everlark, 1st in the Series) A HG rewrite. What would happen if Peeta was just a little bit bolder, and Katniss a little less emotionally confused? You’d be surprised. Let the Games begin. This is an AU, but I’ve tried to stay as canon as possible. Rated T to be safe.     Enthralled (Everlark, Gadge, Mature) Thrall (þræll), n., a slave or serf in Viking Age Scandinavia. After a successful raid, Gale is rewarded with a slave girl: the Saxon noblewoman Madge. Meanwhile, shieldmaiden Katniss grows closer to captive monk Peeta. Gadge/Everlark historical AU with background Odesta and other pairings.   Katniss, Vampire Slayer (Mature) “Into every generation a slayer is born.” the man droned out slowly, quietly, in a way that made her think he was quoting something. “One girl in all the world. A chosen one. She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number. She is the Slayer.” //  Haymitch mocked. “One girl in all the world. Ain’t I just lucky it had to be you.” 14) How To Train Your Dragon Becoming Lífþrasir (Hiccstrid) People often wondered what kept Hiccup going during those early years. When that single, most-treasured thing is taken from him, there is little left to keep him on Berk. The day Stoick returns, and the day before the best recruit is finally chosen, Hiccup leaves Berk; little knowing that he would one day return under … strange circumstances. H/A, R/F, rated for violence.     HTTYD Easter Special Sequel to “The Unholy Offspring,” set after the season finale. When Alvin the Treacherous threatens Asgard with a rogue demigod’s help, Hiccup and Berk’s Dragon Riders must prevent an early Ragnorak. It doesn’t help that Alvin has learned to tame dragons, and that the only god that can help Hiccup is a sullen, suspicious boy named Mud. Happy Eos week, Hiccup!     The Blacksmith’s Apprentice (Hiccstrid) AU. Hiccup never took the shot on that fateful night-and the war continued. Three years later, Berk is beset by dragon raids and hostile tribes while the boy who should have saved the island is merely the assistant in the forge. With only Astrid as his friend, fate gives Hiccup one more chance to end the war and become the hero he was meant to be. Hiccstrid. Snap (Hiccstrid, Mature) He was just supposed to fix her back, and she doubted that at first. She definitely didn’t expect to get dragged into the ethics of a girlish crush. Modern AU. 15) Star Wars Double Agent Vader The one where Vader turned double agent for the Rebellion about three years after ROTS, and Leia is now his primary contact with the Rebellion. Or,  a man attempts to escape slavery by turning into one of his culture heroes, teaching his daughter how to do magic, killing people, and flower arranging. A New History During a heated battle, Dooku escaped into the past! Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker follow to stop him, but discover that Dooku went to the past where Obi-Wan is a young padawan to a very much alive Qui-Gon Jinn. Now, the two must go undercover to stop Dooku’s plans from coming to fruition in order to save not only the future, but also young Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn. Pulse AU for ROTS. As Padme’s life hangs in the balance on Mustafar, a stream of brilliant light causes Anakin to reconsider his choices. Jedi Shmi AU Shmi leaves Tatooine with Anakin and goes to the Jedi Temple.

[onwardintolight]

Han x Leia, ESB, Trip to Bespin, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

Summary: ESB from Leia's POV. A journey from despair to hope, a blossoming, an opening to vulnerability and love.

Warnings: Deals with some heavy themes, incl. working through trauma, depression, self-harm, attempted sexual assault. Each chapter will be individually warned.

Note: I’m currently in the process of reposting the first nine chapters here in full, since when I first wrote this fic, I only shared links to the chapters on AO3 and FFN. I will try to post at least weekly. In the meantime, if you’d prefer to binge-read it, the entire fic is posted in full on AO3 and FFN.

Part: Masterlist | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | Epilogue

~~~

Soft, blue light bathed the cockpit of the Falcon in an eerie glow. It flickered on and off with a distinctive click.

Nothing. There’s nothing.

Leia had known what she would find as soon as she sat down in front of the astrogation display; she had scanned the nearby solar systems for alternate destinations three times today already. But something kept propelling her to look again.

Threepio had woken up from his self-induced sleep earlier that day, relaying the Falcon’s message that they had just entered the gravitational influence of Bespin’s star. 

They had one more day.

The dream had come back every night, relentless. Han knew when it happened now. She’d wake up panting in fear and curl herself into him, and he’d wrap an arm around her and kiss her forehead, whispering that it wasn’t real.

But it felt so real, and Leia couldn’t convince herself it wasn’t, no matter what the rational side of her brain told her. Dread filled her when she thought of Bespin now. Surely there was some way to change their course; avoid whatever disaster was ahead. Surely there was somewhere else that they could go.

There wasn’t, and their supplies wouldn’t last them long enough to get anywhere else, now, even if there had been.

But she still checked anyway.

It wasn’t only the dream that had her on edge. The closer they crept towards the gas giant and its supposed refuge in the clouds, the more she became aware that no matter what, her time with Han was running short.

Soon, he’d be gone. Would what had grown between them be gone, too?

For a long time after the astrogation display was turned off, she sat in the cockpit, staring motionlessly at the twisting tunnel of light outside.

*****

“Leia?”

She sat up straight, startled out of her thoughts.

“There you are. You gonna come eat with Chewie n’ me?”

She slumped again. “Go ahead. I’ll be there soon.”

Truth was, she wasn’t hungry, and she didn’t feel like socializing. She didn’t feel like sitting here accomplishing nothing, either, but her universe wasn’t exactly teeming with choices right now.

Han’s consternation was so loud that she didn’t have to see his face to know it was there. “You okay?” he asked.

“I’m just….” She grimaced, giving up on trying to find the words. “I’m not hungry.”

“Still thinking about that dream, aren’t you?” He came up behind her and began rubbing her shoulders. “I think you just need to chill out. Worrying about it won’t help anything.”

Leia whirled on him. “You think I just need to chill out? Well, why didn’t you tell me before? That would have fixed everything!”

He winced. “Leia, I—”

“No matter what, things are going to change after we get there, and I can’t do a damn thing about it.” Her voice was cold. “Of course I’m worried.”

Han opened his mouth to retort, but then his eyes softened and he seemed to think better of it. “Sorry, sweetheart. That was a dumb thing to say.”

Leia’s shoulders sagged, deflated from the fight that hadn’t come. For a moment they stood there looking at each other awkwardly. Then Han held out his arms as if they were a peace offering. With a sudden rush of need she stepped into them, feeling the comfort of those arms wrapping around her, stroking her hair, massaging her back. She willed away the sudden tears that loomed like storm clouds. Right now, she was afraid that if she let the rain come, it would never stop.

Han kissed the top of her head. “We’ll figure it out together,” he murmured. Leia closed her eyes and tried to believe that everything would be all right.

*****

Han put on some music again after dinner. It was jovial and upbeat, unlike Leia’s mood. She watched, amusement slowly beginning to thread through her worry, as he and Chewie joined hands and boisterously danced around the main hold. They seemed to have formed a conspiracy to make her laugh. To her surprise, she was starting to think it might actually work.

“Oh dear!” Threepio exclaimed, clearly appalled as the pair clattered into a few of the canisters and tools that had been left on the floor. Finally, with a triumphant roar, Chewie lifted Han and deposited him unceremoniously on the floor by the dejarik table.

“Hey!” said Han, pretending to be affronted.

Ignoring him, Chewie turned to her and gallantly offered her his paw. After a split second’s hesitation, she smiled and took it.

To hell with anxiety anyway.

Chewie led her in the same lively dance. Apparently it was a Wookiee favorite, though he explained he’d toned it down quite a bit so as not to hurt his human companions. «The Rhaggghhwr,» he called it. Leia turned to Han for elucidation, but Threepio beat him to it.

“The Wiggle-Hop,” the droid translated pompously. That did make her laugh.

Chewie swept her across the room. Several times, he tossed her up in the air and caught her—not high enough so as to be alarming or make her lose her balance, but enough to give her a thrill of delight. She found herself laughing even more. By the time he tossed her one last time and set her down—a bit more gently than he had Han, and on the dejarik bench, this time—she was completely out of breath, a grin plastered on her face.

“That…” she panted out between breaths, “was… fabulous.”

Chewbacca gave a little flourish.

“So,” she said wryly, leaning back against the seat cushion, “apparently you’re both dancers, and you never told me. I wonder what other talents you’re hiding?”

The Wookiee folded his arms and gave a little shake of his mane. «On Kashyyyk, I was known for my remarkable singing voice.»

“Trust me,” Han said in a mock whisper, “you do not want to hear it.”

“Come on, Han, can it be any worse than yours?”

“Hey, you haven’t even heard my voice!”

“Then who was singing along to The Bloodstripes earlier?” She grinned.

«Perhaps you were hearing my agghghgra reuughhh!» Chewie declared jovially.

Han extended a pointer finger towards Chewie. “Your ‘tones’ aren’t ‘illustrious,’ pal, not by a long shot.” He turned back to Leia and smirked, putting his hands on his hips. “I suppose your royal-high-and-mightiness can do better? I say we hear and decide for ourselves! Whaddya say, Chewie?”

The Wookiee roared his agreement.

“Okay,” Leia reluctantly conceded, raising an eyebrow. “But only if you two take a turn, as well.”

«Deal!» Chewie trumpeted.

“All right, all right.” Han threw up his hands, though clearly he wasn’t at all upset about this turn of events. “You first, Princess.”

Leia stood up, considering her options. She settled on a song from her childhood; it was simple and lovely, and—as it was a lullaby—easy to sing a cappella.

“Mirrorbright shines the moon,” she began, “its glow as soft as an ember. When the moon is mirrorbright, take this time to remember.”

She closed her eyes as she sang. She thought of her mother’s soft voice lulling her to sleep as a young child, of the Alderaanian constellations shining in through her bedroom window, of the distant tinkling of the south terrace air sculpture floating in on the night breeze. She tried not to think too much about the words themselves, and what they meant now, after… after the end.

“….Mirrorbright shines the moon, as fires die to their embers. Those you loved are with you still—the moon will help you remember.”

She opened her eyes. The room was silent for a moment, then Han and Chewie erupted into applause.

“Kriffin’ hell, Leia. You should sing more often!”

“Why, Mistress Leia, I was not aware that your voice was so sonorous! And what a lovely song!”

«You will put us all to shame, little Princess!»

Leia blushed at their enthusiasm. She had never had much voice training, and she was well aware that there was plenty of room for improvement… but their praise was encouraging. Maybe she should take time to sing more often.

Chewbacca was up next, sharing a ballad from his homeworld. Leia found Wookiee singing to be very interesting, if not entirely enjoyable. The scale was like nothing she’d ever heard, and at times it seemed like he was warbling two or three notes all at once. All the same, she was relieved when it was over. Technically impressive or not, the clashing tones of the ballad made her struggle not to cringe.

Han took the easy way out when it was his turn, choosing to sing along to a Grondorn Muse song. His voice, while even less trained than hers, was low and smooth and generally pleasant. She laughed as he hammed it up for them, plucking at an imaginary instrument. “When it’s just you and the stars, with an old bottle o’ booze, singing those old spacer blues!” he crooned, drawing the last note out with relish. He bowed grandiosely at their applause.

When their laughter and cheers had died down, Threepio piped up. “If I may, I have a song to share as well.” He was already striding to replace Han in the middle of the floor.

Han and Leia exchanged a quick look. Oh great, she thought, but just as quickly she scolded herself. She had wanted to treat Threepio better and include him—to a reasonable extent—in their goings-on, and this seemed as good a time as any to start.

“As you know,” he continued, “I am fluent in over six million forms of communication. One of the languages and cultures I am fortunate enough to be familiar with is that of the Lekhar. Their etiquette prescribes that upon greeting fellow Lekhari, they sing a greeting song, one of which I will sing to you now. I think it is rather delightful.”

With that, the droid launched into song. His voice, while a bit tinny, was quite agreeable, and before long Leia found herself lost in the strange syllables and wistful tune. It was longer than she expected a greeting to be, but she guessed from her own experience with languages that this was probably the formal version, and that the Lekhari had a short version for more everyday occurrences.

“Damn, Goldenrod,” Han said once the droid had finished, “you’re not too bad of a singer yourself. And I gotta admit, that was kind of interesting.”

Leia smiled, pleased at Han’s kindness.

The music didn’t end after Threepio. Han and Chewie took to the floor again to sing along to another old Corellian ballad. Then she and Han tried their hand at a duet, and then all of them, including the droid, joined in belting out a classic by Hyperspaze and the Jump Lanes.

It was unexpected and fun and wonderful. Occasionally, Leia remembered the foreboding creeping at the back of her mind, the incongruity jolting her. She felt vaguely guilty for having a good time.

Later, as she clapped along to another musical number courtesy of the Captain and the Wookiee, she paused, the thought hitting her like a ton of duracrete: she couldn’t be so afraid of losing any of this that she forgot to enjoy it.

Joy drives out fear.

The old Alderaanian proverb echoed in her mind. Her anxiety was never wholly gone, and she knew it would soon return in full force, but laughter, friendship, love—these things helped. She could fight the darkness with delight.

What’s more, she realized, these moments of beauty and happiness would always be real. They’d always be with her in some way, because she had experienced them. Loss could take away so much, that was true, but it couldn’t erase these moments any more than losing her planet had erased the precious memories of her beloved family and world.

I need to have more hope, she thought. Not hope based on unfounded optimism, but hope based on this—that joy and goodness would always be real, no matter what may come.

As she watched Chewie and Han belt out the last tenuous notes of their duet, a strange sense of peace washed over her, mingling with the merriment of the moment. Grabbing hold of it with everything she had, she smiled.

~

~

~

Notes:

"Fight back darkness with delight" is a line from a Tenth Avenue North song, Cathedrals. That line struck me like a revelation a few months ago right before I wrote this, and it caused a shift in my own perspective similar to Leia's in this chapter. As always, I write so much out of my own personal journey, and this is just one of many examples of how I was able to take a lesson I was learning and express it through my writing. I hope it encourages others, too. You can't paint over the pain with joy, but joy—and delights both big and small—can be a mighty weapon in the fight.

Also: A thousand thanks to Claudia Gray for Mirrorbright, the proverb, and for inspiring so many other things in this story <3

[darkangeldesignstudio]

Dark Horse

Since I am depressed af right now and Hurricane Dorian is breathing down my neck....I am posting these next two chapters early. You know, just in case I die in the storm or from sadness over the next 24 hours. Love y'all and I hope you enjoy these.

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Death, Attempted Rape, Strong Language, Mentions of Animal Abuse, and Eventual Smut and Fluff

Setting: Post Civil War era USA. Marvel Cowboy AU.

Preface: Your home is attacked by the Hydra gang and you are rescued by Steve, Bucky, and their group. The government agency, known as Shield, wants them captured and Hydra wants them dead. With nowhere else to go, you join their ragtag group and set out on the adventure of a lifetime. Helping those less fortunate along the way, your small group grows and so does your affection for these two rough and tumble outlaws. When the chips are down, will you all be able to escape unscathed? Or will the boot drop and leave you heartbroken and alone again?

Song: Zombie (Acoustic) by Bad Wolves

Previous / Next

Chapter Six: Esa and Coyote

You motioned for Steve to take a seat as you began your story. This one would take a while and it would be best if he was comfortable for it.

“My ancestors, my people, walked with the animals and the spirits. They respected them greatly, but most of all they respected Esa, the Wolf God. He was hailed as one of the creator Gods and like many of the other animal he could walk and talk like man.”

Bucky and Steve sat quietly, listening intently with intrigue sparkling in their eyes as your story began to paint pictures of old. “Wolf’s brother Coyote could also walk and talk, but the people didn’t respect him. He was a Trickster, always up to no good and out to double-cross others, the people stayed far away from him.”

Bucky chuckled a bit. “Sounds like Tony.”

Steve shushed him, leaning forward in his chair, waiting eagerly for you to continue.

You giggled a bit before continuing with the story. “Time passed and Coyote began to resent the Wolf, jealous of how respected his brother was. Being the Trickster he was, Coyote wanted to teach Wolf a lesson. So, he devised a plan to make the people lose their respect for Wolf. A plan that would make them hate him, or so he thought. You see, Wolf was wise to his brother’s ways and so, when Coyote enacted his plan, Wolf created his own plan. A plan to finally teach his wily brother the lesson he deserved.”

Steve sat back in his chair as a bit of trepidation coursed his spine. “This sounds like it’s gonna get dark, doll.”

You smiled sadly, nodding a bit. Steve was right, the story wasn’t a happy one, but it was essential to the prophecy you would tell them later. Drawing a deep breath, you looked between the men in front of you as a shiver ran the length of your spine.

Bucky jumped from his chair. “One second, Y/N.”

He disappeared into your room, emerging a moment later with a blanket. You thanked him as he draped its warmth over your shoulders. When he took his seat again, a huge grin on his face, you continued the story.

“One day, Wolf and Coyote were out on a walk over the land, they talked about the people that lived there and when Wolf claimed that if someone were to die, he could bring them back by shooting an arrow under them. Now Coyote, having heard this boast before, told his brother that if he brought everyone back to life, there would be no room left on Earth for new life. ‘Once people die, they should remain dead.’ He believed that if Wolf took his advice, the people would hate him. Wolf, irritated by Coyote’s constant questioning of his wisdom, decided now was the time to enact his plan. He said nothing, just nodded wisely and went on about his day.”

Bucky and Steve looked at each other as the tension built. The tone of your voice didn’t bode well for Coyote.

“Days later, Coyote came running to his brother, his fur was ruffled and his eyes were filled with panic. Wolf already knew what had happened; Coyote’s son had been bitten by Rattlesnake, whose powerful venom was deadly to all. No-one could survive the bite. Coyote begged and pleaded for Wolf to bring his son back to life as he claimed he could do, but Wolf refused. He reminded Coyote of his own remark that people should remain dead, that he was no longer going to bring people back to life, just as Coyote had suggested.”

You propped your elbow on your knee, supporting your head in your palm as you told them the ending. This was always the hardest part to tell, but it was especially hard as the loss of your brother still lingered in your chest. The wound still fresh on your heart.

“They say that was the day Death came to the land. As punishment for his mischievous ways, Coyote’s son was the first to die and Wolf never raised anyone from the dead again. The people came to know the sadness that accompanies death and, despite Coyote’s efforts, the people did not hate Wolf. Instead, they admired him, his strength, wisdom and power, and we still do today.”

You all sat for a moment, in total silence. The firelight danced across your eyes as the two men pondered your story.

Steve wasn’t sure what to say. He had never heard such a story, as his family had raised him a Christian. But the look in your eyes spoke truth and he was unwilling to question you on it. Story or not, it had sent shivers through his body as you spoke. The embers of red that reflected in your eyes made you appear old beyond your years, as if another Spirit spoke from within you. When he looked at Bucky, he could see the same thoughts reflected there.

Bucky turned to you first, flames danced in his gaze as a sense of warmth traveled through your body. There was understanding in those blue depths and, when you turned to Steve, you saw the same thing. It brought tears to your own eyes as the feelings from the past few days came crashing down on you. It finally dawned on you that you were the last one left. The only person in your family still alive on this Earth.

Just as you began to break, each man took one of your hands in theirs, bolstering you with their strength, their friendship. It was comforting, helping you to smile through your tears.

“It’s okay, darlin’. We can wait for you to finish your story after you get some rest. There’s no rush.”

Steve’s voice was soothing as he brushed a strand of hair from your face. You smiled up at him. “That would probably be best. As long as you two don’t mind.”

Bucky shook his head as he stood from his chair, never releasing your hand. “We don’t mind, Y/N. You just take your time. We can revisit this after you sleep.”

Steve nodded, following Bucky’s lead and helping you slowly from your chair. Holding each arm, the men led you back to your bed, carrying your blanket with you. Soldat followed at their heels, skirting around them to jump onto the foot of the bed and wait for you to settle yourself in.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, they each said goodnight before exiting the room. Laying down, you pulled the blanket up your body, settling into the mattress as Soldat settled into place overtop of your feet, keeping them warm with his body heat. You were asleep before your head hit the pillow.

_______________________________________________________________________

You awoke the next morning as light streamed through your window curtains, lighting up the room. Soldat jumped from the bed with your stirring, trotting from the room. You could hear Bucky’s voice as he greeted the overgrown pup.

“How you doing there, boy? There’s fresh meat for you in the barn.” Soldat made a little grunting noise, soon followed by the sound of a door as Bucky let him outside.

The sound of heavy boots grew louder as they reached your door. Knocking, Bucky poked his head through the door with a smile. “How you doing this morning, Y/N? Feeling any better?”

You smiled back at him, tucking a bit of hair behind your ear in a bit of a nervous gesture. “I’m doing good? Right as rain.”

“That’s good,” he said as he sat on the foot of your bed. “Bruce said, as long as you were feeling up to it, you could get up and start moving around today.”

Glancing around the room, he cupped his hand around the side of his mouth and whispered conspiratorially to you. “Dont worry, Steve and I didn’t spill the beans about you being up last night.”

Your face grew hot, embarrassed about your little private midnight powwow, but you smiled nonetheless. It had been an experience you never wanted to forget. “Thanks for that.”

The beaming smile on your face made Bucky want to clutch his chest, it was so beautiful and pure. He hoped he would get to see you that way more often from now on.

Another knock came at the door as Natasha walked in with a set of clothes for you. “Knock, knock. A little birdie told me our girl was ready to go out. So, I brought you some clothes.”

“Thanks, Nat.” You smiled at her, it was the first time you had seen her since the night she helped you change into your night clothes. “I’m gonna need the help with my shoulder bandaged up.”

With a nod, Natasha walked over to you and began to help you up until she remembered Bucky was there. Shooting him a glare over her shoulder, she hissed something at him in Russian.

Bucky raised his hands in surrender and backed swiftly from the room. “Okay, okay. Jeez, Natasha, you are so scary sometimes.”

Hearing your giggle made him grin from ear to ear. Sending a sly wink your way, before turning to the door, Bucky chuckled. “Just meet me out here when you’re done, Y/N. Can’t keep Boda waiting too long, I made a promise.”

You had almost forgotten about Bucky’s promise to bring you to see Boda and thinking about keeping him waiting any longer in this strange new place made you anxious. How bad had he been while you were bedridden? You honestly hoped he hadn’t caused too much trouble.

“Don’t worry much about it, hun.” Nat’s voice made you jump a bit, you had almost forgotten she was there with all your internal stressing. “Boda’s been the sweetest gentleman since you were down. I think he has a bit of a crush on Star.”

You smiled at that. “It doesn’t surprise me that he’s falling for the feisty filly. There’s a fire in her soul that rivals even his own.”

“She definitely hasn’t made it easy for him.” Natasha giggled as she helped you don your coat. “That first night, I thought she would tear his ears off. He ended up rooming with Duke in his stall.”

“Smart girl.” The smirk on your face matched Nat’s as you walked outside together. “And it’s perfectly fine to house them together, they have been like brothers for as long as I can remember.”

“What stories are you telling her now Nat?”

The teasing note in Bucky’s voice made you smile, he was leaning against the wall across from your door. Decked out in his winter coat once again. The shirt underneath was the deepest of blues, making his eyes shine all the brighter, even in the shadow of his signature black cowboy hat. How was he so damned handsome?

“You ready to head out Y/N?”

His deep voice made you jump a bit. “Y-yeah, sure.”

Looking to Natasha, you could see the sly grin on her lips and it made you blush. There was no way she could know what you were thinking. But, when Bucky turned his back and she winked at you, you weren’t so sure about that.

Bucky opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch, holding his hand out to you. “It’s still pretty slick out here, so be careful.”

Natasha smiled before walking back towards the interior of the house, leaving you alone with the intimidatingly handsome man. You tried to control your blush as you placed your hand in his and stepped out onto the porch.

He smiled as he released your hand and walked towards the stairs, you followed close behind, trying your best to follow in his footsteps. You were managing the slick terrain of the deck pretty well, until your foot connected with a patch of black ice. The world pitched backward as gravity pulled you back-first towards the hardwood. Unable to catch yourself, you yelped with fright before you clenched your eyes shut. You sincerely hoped that the fall wouldn’t add to your injuries as your impact seemed inevitable at this point.

Luckily, your fall was interrupted as you felt warmth envelope your free hand and a hard jerk had you pitching forward again. A rush of cold wind was followed by warmth as your forehead connected with something hard. You dared not open your eyes for fear of what you would see, until Bucky’s muffled curse graced your ears and his strong arms wrapped around your waist, helping you keep your balance.

“Shit.”

When you opened your eyes, you were staring at his broad chest, covered in soft cotton and a midnight black winter jacket, your hand was unconsciously running over the soft material at his heart as you finally mustered up enough bravery to meet his steely gaze. A beautiful smile curled his lips as he gripped the hand you had placed on his chest. His thumb ran over your knuckles as he seemed to assess your wellbeing, you could feel your blush growing with every second that he looked into your eyes and tried to look anywhere but his beautiful blue eyes.

Being in this position made you feel small and vulnerable, similar to the way you had felt in Steve’s arms a few nights ago. It was a surprisingly pleasant feeling and that thought made your blush grow hotter. Peeking up through thick lashes, your eyes connected with his once again and heat travelled the length of your spine. He wrapped his arms tightly around you when you tried to pull away, unwilling to release you.

“If you step back, you might actually fall this time. Let me help, Y/N.” Tilting your head back to meet his gaze, you felt his  warm breath caress your face. Your noses were almost touching, the steam from his breath twining with your own, creating a whirlwind of fog comparable to the emotions swirling in your gut. Truly, his care for you made him all the more desirable and you would have been more than comfortable staying in his warm embrace for longer. It had been the same with Steve at your home.

After another moment, you nodded your agreement, not trusting your voice to speak allowed. The last thing you needed was to say something truly embarrassing.

Bucky reluctantly released you from his grip, immediately missing the warmth, but unwilling to make you uncomfortable by overstepping. Assured that you wouldn’t fall again, he gave you a bit more room, but not too much as catching you mid fall had been lucky. If he wouldn’t have turned towards you in the exact moment that your foot touched ice, you could have hurt yourself pretty badly in the fall. He gave you a moment to compose yourself before reaching for your free hand. Gripping it tightly, he placed it into the crook of his elbow. You smiled, amused as you were no high society lady, but he made you feel as important as one would.

He led you down the stairs and into the fluffy white wonderland of snow around you, but he never released you once as you walked the yard with him. In his mind he was acting the gentleman, the way his momma had taught him to be, but in his heart he only wished to prolong his contact with you and you seemed unwilling to stop him. You would never admit the fact out loud, but you enjoyed his touch, however minimum it may be. You only wished you didn’t feel like a burden for needing so much help. “Thanks, Bucky. You keep rescuing me, even though it seems I can only cause you trouble.”

Turning to look at you, a smile lit up his features as you walked together, but a hint of some other emotion swam in his blue eyes. “You aren’t any trouble, Y/N. It’s my pleasure to assist you in any way I can after everything that happened.” Turning your attention back to your surroundings, you tried to hide your blush. “If anything, I’m happy you wanted to stay with us after all that, not to mention falling for me so literally.”

Gasping, you felt your blush grow to a raging inferno on your face as you whipped your head around to look at him. “I didn’t fall on purpose! I-I-I…” His grin was a teasing one, but there was still something else there. Something that he wasn’t ready to share.

He chuckled at your flustered state, you truly were so cute this way. “I know, Y/N. I’m only teasing you a bit. The others say my teasing nature is a less than desirable trait, but I enjoy it. Makes life more interesting.”

You giggled along with him, calming slightly. “Be careful. You are starting to sound like Coyote.”

He laughed outright, causing his shoulders to shake and a beaming smile to erupt on your face. That laugh was surely something special and you assumed he didn’t make that sound often, especially after hearing the story about his past.

A few yards from the barn, Bucky came to a stop and faced you. A bit of worry coated his features. “I need you to know, we are planning to move pretty soon. We don’t really have a lot of time to waste, so we can’t wait for you to finish healing before we saddle up again.”

You nodded. “I will be fine, Bucky. I’ve ridden with worse injuries than this. Besides, that’s not what you are truly worried about is it?”

His body jerked a little, was he really that obvious? Or were you just that good at figuring him out? “Does this story of yours, the one your grandmother told you… I-I guess what I’m trying to say is, we’re not going to have to fight a dragon or throw a ring in a volcano or anything dangerous like that, right? I mean I can take gunfighting any day, but dragons and volcanoes are a hard limit.”

You tried, really truly tried not to laugh at his question. There was real worry in his tone, even if his analogy was meant to ease your own fears. He knew you were scared to share your story, just as scared as he and Steve were to know what it entailed, but even after all of that, he still wanted to keep a smile on your face.

“No, there are no dragons, rings, or volcanoes, Bucky. You don’t have to worry about anything as fantastic as that, where did you even get the idea?” His feigned sigh of relief almost broke your stoic composure. It was getting harder and harder to stay serious, how the hell did he do it?

Just as he was about to put the figurative nail in the coffin, the sound of Steve’s voice cut through your surroundings, followed by a bellowed challenge from Boda.

A bit of fear shot through you, what the fuck was that demon up to now? Nat said they were on good terms. You went to rush away, but Bucky stopped you. “Don’t, Y/N. Steve can handle it.”

You were a bit skeptical, but Bucky’s grip on your hand was inescapable. His gaze begged for your trust, even as a twinkle of amusement still lingered there. “What have you all been up to, Bucky?”

“Come with me and you will see. Just stay silent, wouldn’t want to interrupt them.”

Slowly, Bucky placed your hand back at his elbow and you walked together to the back of the barn where a large wooden round pen stood. What was happening inside the pen made you gasp as tears welled in your eyes. The scene before you was absolutely breathtaking and made you happy beyond belief. How did they both manage such a feat in so little time? Looking to Bucky, you realized he was watching you with a bit of concern.

“It seems you are both due more of my gratitude, Bucky. Thank you so much for this. It makes me so happy to see him like this.”

Your smile lit up the already bright morning, causing Bucky’s heart to stutter in his chest. “Just watch, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

Turning back to the round pen, you watched as Steve and Bodaway played around one another. Steve would jump towards the stallion before jumping away and Boda did the same. It was an elegant and powerful dance between friends. A give and take of pressure that built respect and camaraderie. It was absolutely beautiful. Bodaway’s raven black coat shone in the light of the sun, reflecting blue and purple as he trotted around the man in the ring. There was a spring in his step that you hadn’t seen in a long time and it made your heart soar.

Steve jumped around the ring with Boda, it was the most fun he had had in a long time. Not to mention a great bit of work that helped to warm the body on such a bitterly cold day. It was good for the both of them. “Come on big guy, let’s see what you got.” He put a bit more pressure on the stallion, pushing him into an elegant canter before Boda turned again to return the pressure. “I can do this all day.”

A laugh from the fence line caught his attention. Tony sat atop the railing, watching the goings on. “I thought that saying was reserved for battles you were losing.” Laughing a bit at his own joke, Tony didn’t notice when the stallion turned his attention to him. Nor did he notice when Boda pinned his ears.

“Just don’t hurt him, buddy.”

At that, Boda charged the fence. Tony caught the movement out of the corner of his eye, just in time to topple off the top rail and fall into a deep drift of snow. Boda snorted at the man on the ground before going back to join a laughing Steve in the middle of the ring. “Thank’s friend. You really are somethin’ special. Just like your momma.”

At the mention of you, the wind changed direction, carrying your scent and the sound of your laughter with it. Boda whickered a happy sound when your eyes connected. You watched him with a smile, he was waiting patiently, but you could see the strain it was taking on his body to stand still as he was. So, you gave him a reprieve and whispered the single word he was waiting to hear. “Come.”

Steve was on his way to open the gate when Boda took off at a gallop towards the fence. “Wait, Bodaway!” But, he didn’t stop, just took off from the ground and flew as if he had wings. It was an astonishing sight to behold as the fence was chest high on the stallion.

Bucky, Steve, and Tony gaped like fish as the beautiful black horse landed, continuing at a full gallop towards you. He slid to a stop only inches away from your body and gently pulled you into one of his signature hugs, careful of your injured shoulder. You immediately wrapped your free hand around his neck as tears began to flow freely down your face. His little sounds of comfort made you giggle through the tears. “I missed you too, Fire Starter.”

You stood like that for a few moments as the men gave you both space to reconnect. Steve exited the round pen, helping Bucky who was currently digging Tony’s frozen ass from the snow drift. “How the hell did he do that?”

Bucky pulled Tony to his feet, brushing the snow off of the man’s shoulder. “I don’t know, Stevie. But it’s pretty obvious that he was humoring us all this time. If he wanted to, he could have escaped from here whenever he wished. She really is special to tame a beast like that.”

They talked for a few more minutes, but you ignored them, more keen on loving the sweet boy in front of you. It seemed he was just as unwilling to release you. “Hey, Boda? Thank you for being so good while I was gone. You are the most perfect horse a girl could ask for. I love you.” You placed a kiss on his cheek and then on his nose as you backed away a bit. Turning back towards the men, you realized Tony had gone into the barn. Steve and Bucky stood against the wall, waiting and watching the two of you with fond smiles.

You approached the men with Boda at your side, constantly brushing up against your shoulder with his own. It reminded you of the days you spent together in the pastures, inseparable from the first moment you met. If only the world could always be that peaceful.

“You feel like stretching your legs a bit more? Well, stretching Boda’s legs would be more accurate, I guess.” Steve’s happiness was palpable at seeing you up and about again. Seeing you so broken in that bed had been slow torture for him.

“Sure, where are we riding to?”

The men looked between one another, Bucky reached out to stroke Boda’s neck. “I know just the place. I’ll saddle this big guy up for ya.” With a nod, you followed them into the barn and watched as they saddled up their mounts and yours. It took only a few moments before you were all on your way.

[appalachianapologies]

Ohohoo I hope you’re all ready, because, that’s right! It’s time for a 2k words in snip!!!! *kazoo noises* Yeah it’s been less than 24 hours since I posted the sixth fic in SS. But. Here I am, just writing and writing and writing for literally no godly reason lmao

anyway. here you go! :D

As the two of them are heading out to yet another IED, Jack decides that subtly won’t be worth it. “So kid, you gonna call home?”

Mac looks up. “What do you mean?”

“You know, for the holidays. The holiday cheer, all that fun stuff.”

Snorting, Mac looks back down at his hands. “Nah. Bozer’s going to be with his family, so, you know…”

Jack definitely does not know. “So what? You’re just not gonna call him?”

“I mean, I’m writing him a letter.”

“But it’s different, hearin’ voices, you know that.”

“‘Hearing voices’? Really, Jack? You need a psych eval?”

Rolling his eyes, Jack mutters, “Oh, har, har. Really though. Why aren’t you callin’ home?”

“I told you. Boze’s going to be with his family, and I don’t want to interrupt that. If there’s one thing that he’s taught me, it’s that the Christmas pastrami should never be interrupted.”

Now that throws Jack for a loop. “What the fuck is a Christmas Pastrami?”

[monstersandmaw]

Male changeling (Dunnock) x female reader - Part Two (sfw)

Edit which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

I had not intended for this to get so long, and the story is now three chapters in total! The last part just needs a bit more adding (it's nsfw btw) and some editing, so it shouldn't be as long between this and the last part as it was between the first and second. It’s been up on Patreon for a while, since folks there get it on early release as usual.

Catch up with Part One (sfw) here (Tumblr link | Patreon link)

Content: more fluffy bonding and memories with our childhood friend, a bit of talk about the reader's father, and of Dunnock's origins/background, and preparations for the little village's Spring Equinox Festival...... Wordcount: 2886

As dawn filtered through the thin, light-degraded fabric of the hut’s old curtains, you became gradually aware of the warm, solid presence of Dunnock’s body behind you. After sharing the evening and your food with him for supper, you’d fallen asleep on the soft hearthrug beside him, and apparently he had dozed off as well. Over the course of the night, as the fire had died down to little more than ashy, red embers, he had shifted to tuck you tightly against his chest. One massive arm dangled over your waist, clawed hand resting limp and relaxed in the space beside your stomach, the other arm pillowing his strange head.

In the moments before he stirred too, you stared at him. The monumentality of just what his existence meant stunned you for a second, and you swallowed thickly. He was every bit as real as the solid floor beneath you, and yet your mind screamed at you that he was impossible. The smoky grey fur swirled around his closed eyes in a pattern that made you ache to trace your finger along it, just to feel the contours of his face, the strange plains and angles that weren’t quite wolf and weren’t quite bear; they weren’t quite anything that you could relate to, and yet there he was.

Perhaps sensing the shift in your breathing as you slid from sleep to wakefulness, perhaps sensing nothing at all, Dunnock inhaled more deeply and blinked himself awake. His long-lashed eyelids fluttered for a moment before they revealed the deep, cornflower blue of his eyes and you smiled. He, however, appeared to crash back to reality with a jolt. The moment he realised where his arm had been lying, he retracted it with the speed of a striking viper, ears flattening and eyes widening.

“Sorry,” he murmured, voice rough and thick with sleep. “I… I didn’t… I didn’t mean…”

“It was nice,” you smiled honestly, half rolling and half shuffling to look at him a little better. More than one part of you felt bruised and sore from your night on the hard floor, and you probably had makeup smudged under your eyes or something, but there was a look in his steady eyes that made you not want to care at all. They really were spectacular eyes after all - the brightest and most vibrant blue.

He blinked slowly, left eye closing fractionally before the right, and you grinned as you recognised it as something that the little barefoot boy in the woods had done too. In a flash, you saw him standing in a glade and beaming at you with a handful of dirt and a tiny hazelnut that had clearly been stashed by a squirrel and subsequently forgotten and left to sprout. His freckles had enchanted you as much as his eyes had, and you found yourself tumbling unbidden down the verdant banks of memory lane in an instant.  

“What?” he rumbled.

With a chuckle, you reached a hand up to his cheek and trailed your fingertips over the impossibly downy fur there. A quiet, almost wheezing rumble left him, and those eyes, so clear and intense, disappeared again as his eyelids fluttered down, unable to look at you as you touched him with such tenderness.

“What?” he repeated in a hoarse whisper without opening his eyes.

“Just remembering the little things, is all…” you said. “You really are the same, you know?” you added a moment later as you dropped your hand again.

At that, he did look at you, surprise evident in the set of his cervine ears.

“I mean… sure, you’re about as different as it’s possible to get, physically, but you’re just the same otherwise.”

His lips tugged into a wonky smile that revealed sharp canines, and he rolled onto his back to stretch. He lay there for a while with his hands resting lightly on his chest and his legs stretched out like a hound luxuriating by a fire.

“How’s your leg?” you asked as your eyes travelled down the length of his strange and beautiful body.

Flexing his foot experimentally, the pads of his paws spreading rather sweetly, he grunted and nodded. “Fine. All healed.” Shooting you a cheeky sidelong look, he added, “Told you.”

Breakfast was bacon butties, something that Dunnock hadn’t had since your father had died, and he clearly relished them.

“He used to bring me one sometimes,” Dunnock confessed after practically inhaling two soft white rolls filled with hot, crispy bacon that you’d offered him. “I’d always smell them when he made them on Saturdays, and sometimes he’d see me between the trees and make me an extra one too.”

Something ached at the thought of Dunnock knowing your father almost better than you had.

As if he’d spotted the thought on your face, the changeling looked away and then added, “He used to talk about you a lot.”

“Really?”

“Mn. If he’d recently come back from visiting you when I saw him, he’d tell me about how you were getting on. I think he knew I missed you too.”

Guilt twisted your gut and you felt your breakfast curdle as you stood by the kitchen window and gazed out at the empty bird feeder on the edge of the clearing near your car. “I should have come back here, but I just never seemed to find the time… between studying and taking care of mum - at least to start with - and then juggling work experience and a part time job to pay the rent…”

“He understood,” Dunnock supplied quietly from behind you, and you sensed that he wasn’t just speaking for your father.

“That… That doesn’t make it easier,” you said. “I’m glad he did though.” After another pause you said, “I loved him a lot.”

Dunnock bobbed his head and grunted softly. “You’re a lot like him.”

“Mum always said I’d end up working for the wildlife service or something. Speaking of… I’d planned to take a hike today. You don’t know of any good trails, do you?” you asked with a grin.

“Oh, I can think of a few nice routes,” he chuckled, heaving himself onto all fours and shaking his dense fur out. “I’ll let you get ready and meet you just up that little trail where you found me yesterday.”

The hike with Dunnock brought back a relentless flood of memories.

He led you down the network of endless paths that the two of you had forged together as children, taking in all the old haunts from the Neolithic quarry nestled between tall mossy pines, to the small bog at the edge of the forest where the heath drained down into a treacherous, peaty swamp, dark and stinking and full of tannins. Here there were butterflies and glittering dragonflies that made crazy loops through the reeds, and rabbits with twitching noses snuffling through the underbrush. Further out, you saw stocky, bristle-brush ponies on the moor, and the larks burbling above, and although the walk drained you, physically, it began to recharge something mentally that had been empty for so long that you’d failed to notice it any more. Even your boss had seen it, but it had evaded you for the longest time.

That evening, Dunnock stayed with you again, and he remarked on the life returning to your eyes, which made you blush and thump him on the shoulder. In turn, he just rumbled another chuckle.

“Dun… Tell me about the Fae then?” you asked after you'd both eaten. With Dunnock tucking into your food as well, you were almost out of the modest supply you’d bought on your way in, and the next day you’d have to go to the store in Iska’s Well.

A ripple of tension shuddered almost imperceptibly up his spine, and he seemed to have braced for an impact that you couldn’t see. Sitting beside the fire that you’d decided to let die down early that night, he then sighed and half shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know much about it. I’ve never lived with them.”

“But… how do you know what you are?” you pressed carefully.

Taking another huge lungful of air, he shifted slightly and gave another noncommittal shrug. “The family - whose human baby my parents stole to bring up as Fae - raised me until I was about five I think, and I must have shifted for the first time around then. I don’t really remember them very well, but I remember that they were frightened of me. The woman was… she… I think she knew about the Fae in some way because the moment she saw what I was, she drove me to the forest and left me there. I won’t repeat what she said, but she knew that I wasn’t human. I don’t know what the man thought of what she did, but no one ever came for me.”

He didn’t seem particularly upset by any of what he’d just revealed to you - just awkward - but you sat there with your mouth hanging open in horror. “Dunnock…”

“What?” he asked, blue eyes searing with a frank confusion that stunned you.

When you blurted, “You were abandoned twice?”

He just snorted. “I suppose so, but the forest took care of the rest. And I include your father in that. He knew I was different when he found me riding the wild ponies across the heath. I must have been six or so, completely naked and thoroughly wild… I think he gave me some of my earliest clothes…”

It was your turn to snort. “I can’t believe he didn’t try to take you to a hospital or a police station like any sane person would have done.”

“I shifted in response to what I thought was a threat,” Dunnock laughed, shaking his head as he fondly recalled the events of his first meeting with your father.

“And he just… accepted it?” you asked, amazed. From what you recalled of your father he had been a patient man, but not very… imaginative. He’d entertained no ideas of religion or of a world beyond. For him to accept that Dunnock wasn’t from this world painted him in a new light. You wished you could talk to him about it now, and that thought brought unexpected tears to your eyes.

Dunnock startled at the change in you and surged silently to his feet, nuzzling his head and cheek against your neck where you sat on the floor with your back to the moth-eaten couch behind. “I’m sorry,” he said.

Shaking your head, you told him it was fine. “Being here - and learning all this - it’s just… stirring up old feelings, you know?”

“I know. How about you tell me more about the animals you care for? I’d like to hear what happened to the Rottweiler that wouldn’t be adopted without the rabbit…”

You knew he was distracting you, but you were only too happy to tell him that one.

Yet again, Dunnock stayed the night, but this time you both curled up on the mattress in the corner of the room. There was no need for a sleeping bag with the warmth that Dunnock’s body threw off, and you curled gratefully into the curve of his body while he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around you this time.

As you drifted on the shores of sleep some time near midnight, having talked each other hoarse again, he gave a cavernous sigh and tugged you a little tighter, murmuring in your ear, “I missed you…”

The next day you woke late and headed into Iska’s Well in the car while Dunnock returned to the woods alone. “I’ll know when you’re back,” he said quietly. “That infernal jay will probably come tattling to me first.”

“Really? Do they actually… you know… speak?” you’d asked, cheeks hot with embarrassment.

He shook his head. “Not with words like we are now, but they have their own way. I got pretty good at listening, besides… I can… feel when you’re in this part of the wood.”

You’d petted him gently between his ears and listened to his brief but happy rumble before he’d risen onto his hind legs and brought his finger to the underside of your chin. Leaving with an obviously affectionate little stroke there, he disappeared into the shadows in a mere few paces, and you blinked in surprise. It was as if he’d vanished completely and you swayed on the spot.

“Dunnock?” you whispered.

“Mn?” came his curious response from the depths of the trees. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah… don’t worry. See you later,” you breezed. He really was something Fae about him after all.

Iska’s Well was busy that lunchtime, which was to say that there were all of three people in the general store, and they were all talking animatedly about the Spring Equinox Festival. The owner of the shop, a portly woman in her early sixties with soft grey hair and a motherly look to her, glanced away from their little huddle as the brass bell above the door tinkled a welcome, and she smiled at you. “Hello dear!” she called. “How’s the old cabin treating you? No squirrels in the roof?”

“Nothing of the sort, thank you,” you replied, warily eyeing the other three women who had suddenly taken a very keen interest in you.

“Oh that’s good,” the shop owner exhaled dramatically. “I was wondering after you left last time if we’d have to send Steve down to help you out with anything. I’m pleased to hear that your father’s place is being lived in again.” She turned to the other three gathered conspiratorially at the end of the counter and added, “You remember our dear ranger? Well, this is his daughter. She’s only up here for a short while though, is that right?” she asked you and you nodded.

One of the women brightened visibly, her initial suspicion of an outsider evaporating now that she had a context for you, and she said, “Oh! How long are you here for then? You should come to the Equinox Festival tomorrow. It’s the highlight of the spring! Isn’t that right, Martha?”

The shopkeeper nodded. “Our Sam is going to be playing with his little band, and there’s a hog roast and dancing… You’ll never want to leave, I promise!”

“Sounds ominous,” you quipped, but the women only laughed.

“We’ll see you there then?” the second asked.

She looked like the kind of woman who wouldn’t take no for an answer where hospitality was concerned - in fact they all did - so you just nodded and smiled and said you’d probably be there. That seemed to do the trick and you were allowed to continue your shopping in peace, leaving fifteen minutes later and heading back to the cabin.

Dunnock wasn’t there when you drew up in the little gravel parking area in front of the house, and he didn’t reappear until sunset which saw you sitting on the porch step, idly watching the birds flit back and forth from the pines to the bird feeder.

“No wonder everyone’s here,” came Dunnock's deep, rough voice from between the rough trunks of the nearby trees. “Sunflower seeds at this time of year - what a treat, eh?”

You couldn’t help smiling, and in a heartbeat you found yourself on your feet and walking towards him. It felt as though he were reeling you in, pulling you closer by the sheer force of his presence. Everything about this felt natural and right and you didn’t pause to think. He leaned his tall body against the last of the trees and waited for you to join him, watching you approach with his steady, forget-me-not blue gaze.

Hanging on the branch beside him you noticed two fresh trout, and you raised an eyebrow at him.

He shrugged. “You’ve been feeding me since you got here. Thought I should return the favour. Do you not like fish?”

“Oh, they’re fine,” you grinned. “You’re lucky my dad taught me how to deal with them though. Not everyone knows how to gut and bone a fish…”

Something flashed across his face but he hid it behind a chuckle.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“That was definitely a ‘something’,” you pressed playfully.

Dunnock just shook his head stubbornly and took the fish off the branch with a claw and into the cabin for you.

As you ate that night, Dunnock easily lounging on the floor and you at the little scrubbed wooden table in the kitchen, you were reminded of the equinox festival. “Have you ever been?” you asked when you brought it up.

Dunnock shook his shaggy head. “No,” he said, easing back a little and leaning a fraction closer to the wood burning stove. Apparently, despite the thickness of his pelt, he really enjoyed the heat it threw off. “I’ve heard it going on most years though. Sounds like it could be fun.”

“You think I should go?” you asked and he grinned.

“If you want,” he shrugged. “I think most of Iska’s Well show up for it. You’ll have no shortage of dance partners, that’s for sure.”

With a snort, you inhaled deeply with the satisfaction of a full stomach and easy company and murmured, “Maybe I will go after all…”

Part Three

___

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[ilovemygaydad]

Dance, Dance

Part Six: Dancing’s Not a Crime

Based off this post that you really need to read for context!

Pairings: Analogical and Royality (past sleeplogical)

Characters: Virgil, Patton, Logan, Roman, Sleep/Remy, Deceit/Dominic, October/Toby, September/Ember

Warnings: domestic abuse, swearing, sexual humor, crude comments, bullying, making out, abusive deceit, mentions of vomiting (just one word), step parents, food mentions, rejection, logan’s kind of an asshole to virgil, anxiety, panic attacks, people being shitty, and possibly something else

A/N: sorry about like,,,, taking so long for this chapter. I just got so busy and stuff... and depressed.... it’s been a hard few weeks, but I finally got this chapter done, so!! merry christmas, I guess!

Masterlist | Ask Blog | READ ON AO3

Tags: @adultmorelikeadolt @disneyfanatic77 @logan-smarter-than-you-sanders​ @punsterterry​ @mycatshuman @fluidityandgiggles​ @theunoriginaldaisy​

BZZT.

“Virgil, I’ve called you out of school today so that you can stay home for the twins’ party. Remember to finish making the food—oh, and make some extra just in case those assholes from the paper come. Make everything extra fancy. Double check that everything is spotless—don’t forget to clean up that mess on the stairs where you spilled that face mask. And call the florist to schedule the drop time.”

BZZT.

Virgil only allowed himself to groan for half of a second before he sat up and pressed the intercom button. “What else do I have to live for?”

“That’s the spirit!”

It had been just over two days since the incident with Logan, and Virgil had spent the entirety of those days with the sole mission to avoid the star. Even though he continued to tell himself that he’d never had a crush on Logan in the first place, the rejection still stung.

With a sigh, Virgil brushed his thoughts away and got up to clean. The food wouldn’t cook itself, after all, and Virgil still somewhat valued his life.

Barely.

It was honestly a miracle that Virgil hadn’t yet lost his hearing through the intense bass and Dominic’s incessant screaming--sorry, singing. The party had been raging for… a whole thirty minutes. Cool. Awesome.

Thankfully, the music cut out as Dominic announced the twins. They descended the stairs in matching orange and black, smiling and waving at the audience that was barely paying attention to them. Virgil would have laughed if he weren’t right under Dominic’s nose.

Virgil served another few crab cakes and made his way around the crowd for a couple of minutes when someone’s hands landed on his shoulders, causing him to nearly jump out of his skin. He whirled around to find Patton standing with a happy grin on his face. It took a second for Virgil to process the emotions he was feeling, but once he did, he took in Patton’s outfit. Usually, he was dressed in some funky, off-beat clothes, but Patton was wearing a beautiful light blue tiered skirt that flowed from his waist to his ankles and a sparkly silver crop top with long sleeves. If Patton had looked like a fairy at the ball, he looked like an angel now.

“Patton, what are you doing here? Oh my god, you look amazing!”

“Aw, Virge, thank you! I finished it last week, and I was waiting to show you.” Patton giggled, wrapping his arm around Virgil’s waist. “And I’m here to help, kiddo. Hand over your tray, and I’ll get started on serving these.”

“You are my hero! Okay, I’ll be right back.”

“Lo, the whole school is here! I’m sure your mystery man will be here.”

“I don’t have that much faith in you, Roman. You aren’t particularly good at staying on task--”

“Oh!” Roman gasped as his eyes fell on a beautiful boy with startlingly familiar curls. “I’ll call you back.”

“Wait, stay--”

Roman hung up the call and walked forward, straightening his gold tie as he went. Not only was it lucky that Roman had finally identified his own mysterious prince, but he would know exactly who Logan was looking for!

“Excuse me?”

The boy turned around, an almost concerned expression on his delightfully soft face. The silver eyeliner brought attention to his beautifully brown eyes. Roman might have dropped dead right then and there if he hadn’t heard the boy reply, “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you want a crab cake?”

“Wh--No! No, just… Your purple highlights look extremely familiar.” The boy tilted his head ever so slightly in confusion. “You might not recognize me without my angel wings. I’m The Prince!”

“The who?”

“The Prince--You know, the dip? You can’t forget me dipping you!” Roman made an exaggerated gesture.

The boy giggled, leaning in flirtatiously. “I’m sorry, no…”

“I’m Logan Parker’s best friend!”

“Oh, is that supposed to impress me?” The fluttered eyelashes of this boy would be enough to make an entire army fall to their knees, but Roman was just too overjoyed at having found his beauty.

“I knew you were the one! It’s Patton, right?”

“Ah, a good memory, Roman.”

They laughed together for a second before Roman remembered his mission. “Oh! Is your friend here? Logan is waiting outside, and he is absolutely head over heels!”

“Virgil? Yeah, he’s here!”

“Fantastic! Go get him, and I’ll bring Logan inside. This is going to be magnificent!” He waited until Patton had run off to find Virgil to call Logan. “I found him!”

“Christ, Roman, could you be any louder?”

“Are you frowning? You had better not be frowning.”

“I am allowed to display my frustration with your antics, and your inability to stay on task.”

“God, Specs, did you not hear what I said? I found your man! He’s in here.”

“If you’re kidding, I won’t hesitate to throw you in front of a moving bus.”

Roman let out an exasperated groan. “I’m not! Just get your ass in here so I can set you and your man up and then be free to go make out with my own lovely prince. Oh, that would be a good motivator. You see, after you get with your prince, I’ll go off with my own, and we’ll find a lovely secluded place. I’ll hold his face in my hands, and we’ll slowly--”

“Ew, Jesus, Roman, shut up! I’m coming inside right now! Stop your disgusting rambling.”

“Okay, okay. See you in a minute.”

“Good bye, idiot.”

Virgil was only half way done with setting up another tray of crab cakes when Patton began to drag him out to the dance floor. He managed to grab the tray before they got out of the kitchen, luckily, and he was able to force an answer as to why he was being violently pulled around the house.

“Because Logan is here, and he wants to meet you, obviously! Roman recognized me, so he asked to bring you out here so you and Logan can get together. We’re gonna march on over there, and you’ll tell Logan that you’re his mystery guy.”

“Pat, you can’t be serious—“

“Oh, dear! That poor man over there looks very hungry. Good bye!” Patton gently shoved Virgil in front of Logan and turned away.

Virgil looked up and made eye contact with Logan. Shit…

“Um, hello there…?”

“Hey,” Virgil said. “Uh, crab cake?” He held the tray out as an offering because holy shit he didn’t want to do this.

“No, thank you. I’m actually looking for someone.” Logan paused, leaning in a bit closer. “Have you seen a guy here who can dance like nobody you’ve ever seen before?”

“Actually, yeah, I have. It’s actually kind of funny, since I—“

“My name is Victoria Santiago.”

No. Virgil spun around to face the TV screen. Ember, Toby, and Remy were all smirking at him.

“I’d like to send this video to Logan Parker.”

This can’t be real.

“Totally kissable.”

A hand settled on his shoulder. “Is… Is that you?”

Everyone is laughing at you.

Stalker.

Creep.

Without a second thought, Virgil ripped himself from Logan’s grasp and ran out the patio door, grabbing his hoodie from the coat rack as he went. Tears were running in tracks down his face, but he couldn’t stop them. Choked sobs escaped him as he collapsed into one of the deck chairs. He was humiliated.

The patio door squeaked as it opened, and Virgil jumped over one of the short hedges and covered his mouth. It would only be worse if someone saw him like this. Footsteps echoed softly and stopped.

“Virgil?” Of course, it was Logan. “I know you’re out here. I just… I need to talk to you.” Virgil didn’t make a sound. “Please. I have spent an entire week looking for you, and I am not going to let one childish prank ruin my opportunity. Where are you?”

Virgil accidentally let out a rogue whimper, and although he clamped his hand over his mouth, he knew that Logan had heard him. He resigned himself to his crying and let his head fall to his knees while Logan walked over.

“Would you like me to engage in physical contact with you, or would you like me to just sit?”

“Sit,” Virgil gruffly commanded.

There was a bit of rustling as Logan sat down, but it soon fell quiet. Logan was sitting rather close, but he imagined that it was because he didn’t know how to properly care for someone having a panic attack. They sat in perfect silence until Virgil had mostly calmed down.

“Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

There was an awkward pause as Logan thought of what to say. Virgil peeked through his bangs at the boy next to him.

“So… You are the one I danced with at the ball.”

“Yep.”

“And I,” Logan groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “God, I was a complete asshole to you.”

“Yep.”

“I’m very sorry about that, Virgil. As Roman would say, it was rather ungentlemanly of me. I mean, you seem so nice and kind compared to the twins, so I really should have given you the benefit of the doubt—“

“Look, Logan…” Virgil properly lifted his head, making direct eye contact with his companion. “You don’t have to humor me. I’m not some charity case, and I certainly don’t need your pity.”

Logan looked horrified. “No! I would never do that to someone. I like you for you, Virgil. You are very kind and genuine and handsome, and it would be an absolute pleasure to get to know you more. This is not pity; I swear.”

“Oh… Okay.”

“Really? I lay out my feelings, and you just say, ‘okay?’” A small smile formed on Logan’s face.

“Well, shit, man. What did you want me to say?”

“I don’t know. Maybe that I’m ‘totally kissable?’”

Virgil felt his face flush. “Woah, hold up! I was—That was years ago! Remember, I also thought that I was a girl at the time, so my judgement was obviously clouded, so…”

“That’s too bad because I think that you’re totally kissable.” Logan signed dramatically and looked up at the sky like a protagonist in an edgy young adult novel.

“Really?” His voice wasn’t much more than a whisper.

“Of course. You are rather cute.”

“Yeah, right.”

Logan turned his head, and a deadly smirk played at his lips. “Would you like me to prove it?”

“God, yes.” Virgil leaned in a bit, allowing Logan to cup his cheek gently as they met for a kiss.

It was sweet and soft. It was the perfect first kiss. Virgil was the first one to pull away, and he was glad that he caught the pouty look on Logan’s face for just a second before it returned to normal.

“That was… satisfactory.”

“Just shut up and kiss me, nerd.”

Chapter Seven

[tay1019411]

This is all we know

It’s been years since the asteroid. Danny and the gang are now attending college together, each pursuing careers, forming new relationships, and amending past rivalries. But, this new chapter in life starts to get more complicated with ghost attacks increasing and old enemies teaming up (Post PP but Danny/Vlad DIDN’T reveal identities. Fentons and Valerie know Danny’s secret, string of oneshots connected by one problem)  

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

  (Part 4) Roomies

"What happened to your arm?"

Danny half-shrugged at his biology lab partner, Casey. She was as tiny as Sam, but the similarities ended there. She had blond hair that was currently pulled into a French braid stopping mid-back and hazel eyes.

She was looking at his arm, which was wrapped with gauze and resting in a sling. He hated wearing it but promised his mom he wouldn't take it off for at least two days, despite telling the matriarch that he was fine without it. But, when your mom was a ninth degree black-belt in possession of a thermos, you did what she said, and there wasn't much room for argument.

"I fell." He knew it was a stupid lie but couldn't really think of any other excuse right on the spot like this. Sam was usually the one who thought of them.

Casey raised a skeptical eyebrow at him, but luckily didn't push any further. "Does it hurt?"

"Nah, just annoying." Danny sat on the stool next to hers and took out a pencil and the required lab workbook. Luckily, he could still write since it was his left arm that was broken, but the sling was still annoying.

The rest of class went by pretty quickly. It was frog dissection day. Since his arm was out of commission, Casey had to do most of the actual dissection while Danny took notes, but it wasn't all that bad since they were let out early.

"Hey, Danny, wait up."

Danny was already in the hallway when he heard the very familiar female voice. He looked back to see Casey. He waited for her to catch up, maybe he forgot something. Between all the random ghost attacks and strange team-up between Ember and SkulkTech, he had been a bit scatter-brained the last few days. He couldn't stop thinking there was something much deeper going on than just the usual animosity the ghosts had for him; it was just too coordinated. Usually, by now, somebody should have shouted out their evil plans to destroy him and take over the world.

"Man, I had to call your name three times before you answered. You're really out of it today," she said once she caught up with him.

"Yeah, just a lot on my mind I guess."

Danny began walking towards the main entry way, knowing Tucker was probably already waiting for him outside. Both of their classes were in the same building, and he usually got out early all the time. Casey followed alongside him, matching his stride.

"Problems with Sam?"

Danny looked at her, trying to figure out why she would ask that. She was looking at him strangely, but he decided to just ignore it. Maybe it was a girl thing to automatically assume that.

"No, Sam's great. Just other stuff, I guess, school and stuff." Plus, the raging ghosts that seemed to have an out-of-the-blue increased desire to kill him.

"Oh, your internship with Mr. Masters. He still has you working nights?"

He forgot he told her about that.

Casey liked to invite Sam and him to parties and local bars a lot. After the fifth "I can't," she pressed him further why. He had to come up with a more permanent excuse why since he usually patrolled at nights. Between patrol and studying for classes, he rarely had time to go out. Besides, the moments when he did have time, he just wanted to spend it with Sam or Tucker and Dash, not in some crowded bar. Since he and Vlad were already on good terms and was giving him a scholarship already, he blurted out about an internship for the local billionaire and mayor. It was actually a pretty good lie and worked with all the other times ghost attacks interfered with his life, especially since Vlad had no problem covering for him.

"Yeah, that too," he said, hoping she would stop asking so many questions. He opened the door to outside, holding it open for Casey to pass through.

Tucker was leaning against one of the stair railings. When he saw Danny and Casey, he walked over, smirking. Danny nodded towards him.

"Hey, Tucker," Casey greeted with a smile.

"Hey, Casey," Tucker said, his smirk widening. Danny raised an eyebrow at him, not really knowing why he was smiling like that at her. He thought Tucker was interested in Valerie still, not Casey.

Not wanting to think this any further, especially since this could lead to a very pissed off Valerie, which Danny definitely did not want to get into, he looked back at Casey, trying to end this quickly before Tucker said anything else. "I'll see you later."

He quickly pulled Tucker away, but was too slow, his friend still had time to turn back to Casey. "Yeah, see you later, Casey!"

Danny gave him a questioning look. "Why are you being so weird."

Tucker laughed, then looked at Danny as if he was expecting him to join in.

Danny just gave him another questioning look, still confused on why Tucker was even acting this way.

Seeing that Danny wasn't getting the joke, Tucker just rolled his eyes. "I thought by the time we got to college you would be less clueless, but I think it only got worse."

Danny glared at him. He hated the clueless jokes. Okay, well, he didn't hate when Sam joked around about it. He rarely ever minded that, especially since it made her laugh, but for Tucker and the other guys, it was different. It felt like he was missing out on some big joke, and even worse, he was the joke he didn't get.

They came to a stop at a large building.

"Tucker, why are we going to the gym?" Danny asked, giving his friend a questioning look. He wasn't really paying attention as they walked, following Tucker's lead.

"Promised Dash we would meet him here."

"I can't work out with this thing on," Danny said, making a motion with his arm

"We will be there for motivation." Tucker smirked, entering the building.

They easily found Dash. He was the only tall and extremely muscular student in the building, considering this was during the time a lot of people either had another class or went back to their dorms.

The two boys weaved around the various workout equipment, making their way to their friend.

Dash spotted the two easily and waved them over. His gaze zeroed in on Danny's arm. "What happened to the arm?" Dash nodded towards the sling supporting Danny's left arm.

"Ember and SkulkTech."

"They're double-teaming, now?" Dash picked up two fifty pound dumb-bells, beginning his first set.

"Yep," Danny said as he watched Dash lift the weights with each rep.

"Parents go nuts?" Tucker asked, sitting at the bench on the other side of Dash, taking a granola bar from his bag and taking a bite out of it.

Danny gave him a look.

Tucker looked at the granola bar then back at his friend. "What?"

"We literally just had lunch two hours ago."

"So, it's my 2 o'clock snack!" he justified, taking another bite.

Danny rolled his eyes, choosing to ignore that comment and answer the previous question. "Mom did. Dad was pretty cool though. Luckily, Vlad was there to be a buffer."

"I will never get used to the fact that you just used luck and Vlad together in the same sentence," said Tucker.

Danny laughed. "You and me both."

"You guys had something against Masters or something? I thought he was helping us out," Dash said, putting down the weights for a small rest period in between sets.

Danny exchanged a look with Tucker. Danny wasn't exactly comfortable when the topic came to Vlad and how he used to be his archenemy. Only Tucker and Sam knew about how Vlad was half-ghost and used to be Plasmius. He didn't want anybody else to know; it wasn't his secret to tell despite the complications it was probably going to cause with the other people that knew his own secret, his parents for sure.

Before Tucker could say anything, Danny stepped in, knowing his friend wasn't exactly the best at the whole secret thing. "It used to be kinda weird between him and me because he had a thing for my mom and hated my dad."

Dash looked over at Danny, giving him a disgusted look.

"Yeah," Danny laughed. "But, now, it's cool. He's over it and pretty much made amends with my dad."

"That's still kinda messed up."

"You have no idea," Tucker laughed.

Danny glared at Tucker. Sometimes he really wondered how he made it this far without everybody knowing his secret with his friend's big mouth.

Luckily, Dash didn't seem to notice, rolling his eyes as he started loading the bar at the bench-press station with weights.

"How did the date go with Paulina?" Tucker asked from his bench.

Danny gave Dash a questioning look. "You went on a date with Paulina?"

Dash laughed. "Where have you been? The date was like a week ago."

Danny shrugged. "Ghosts," he supplied. It was getting weirder now. The ghosts were attacking a lot more lately, and the frequency increase was not the only thing that was weird about it.

"Yeah," Dash said knowingly. He laid on the bench, positioning himself so the bar was over his chest. "You haven't been at the apartment lately. I thought you were just with Sam."

"I wish," Danny said as Dash began his set. "The ghost attacks are happening a lot more now, and that's not the only thing. They are changing their patterns."

"How is that bad?" Dash puffed out as he lifted the incredibly weighted bar with effort.

The answer to that would have been obvious to any seasoned ghost-hunter. Danny sometimes forgot how Dash was still new to the whole ghost-hunting gig, having been told only six months ago about his extracurricular activities. Ever since then, Dash enthusiastically offered his help whenever he didn't have football practice or a game. Danny had to admit, for being a newbie, Dash caught on pretty well. He was a pretty good back-up when Sam and Tucker were not available.

"Ghosts are very habitual in pretty much everything they do. For them to change like this…I don't know," Danny said, struggling to come up with some sense behind all of this. "It's just weird."

Dash finished his set, rising to sitting position. "Did your parents have any ideas about this?"

"They're stumped too."

"Yeah, yeah, the ghosts are upping their game to kill Danny. What else is new," Tucker interrupted. "More importantly, how did the date go?"

Danny glared at his friend, but instead of a retort, he just rolled his eyes.

"Why do you want to know so bad?" Dash asked, giving Tucker a look.

"I'm living vicariously through you, that's why."

Dash's look turned sympathetic. "Valerie still giving you a tough time?"

Tucker laughed. "Baby steps. Don't want to spook her."

Danny raised an eyebrow. "Spook her? You do know she is a ghost-hunter, right?"

"No shit," Tucker said, rolling his eyes. "I'm just trying to make sure she doesn't kick my ass."

"I'm still trying to get why you have a thing for her," Dash said. "She's kinda scary."

"As the guy she shot at for the majority of high school, I second that," Danny said with a laugh.

"You're one to talk," Tucker said towards Danny. "Face it Danny, you and I just like the dangerous ones. Also, she's hot."

"And, there it is," Dash said with a laugh before going back under the bar to start another round of reps.

[theguardiansseries]

From the Beginning Chapter 8

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Summary: Danny Fenton was a simple, sixteen-year-old teenager who loved fast food, video games, and getting a B on surprise pop quizzes. He’s also the half-ghost teenage hero Danny Phantom who defends Amity Park from ghost attacks on a daily basis. Somehow, the ghost attacks make a lot more sense than crushes, friendships, and falling in love with someone he is definitely not supposed to be falling in love with. It was a lot easier to separate Phantom and Fenton before, but now it’s getting harder the more he learns about himself. Just who was he? The dorky son of scientists who loved the stars or the hero that protected the town. He’s starting to feel like he won’t like the answer. (Iambic Prose) (Prequel to Guardians and Partial Show Rewrite)

<<First Chapter>> <<Last Chapter>> <<Next Chapter>>

Chapter Eight

::

“I think a threat that’s stronger than Pariah is about to wake up.” It sounded silly when he said it out loud, but Danny had been thinking on this for a while now and it was the only thing that seemed to make sense after his walk around Pariah’s Keep.

“What- Wait, what?” Sam looked surprised and even scared, almost, before her expression dropped and her eyes narrowed. “What kind of a threat?”

“I don’t- A threat.” It sounded stupid, but it all lined up! Danny had been seeing the signs for weeks and he hadn’t even realized what he was staring at until it was almost too late - almost. “Sammy, you have to trust me on this one.”

“Uh huh. Why do you think we’re about to face a threat, Danny? And give me an exact reason, not a ghost sense sort of reason.”

“None of the ghosts have attacked in almost two weeks!” Alright, Sam’s groan was unappreciated and wildly unhelpful. “C’mon, Tuck, back me up here. You think it’s weird, don’t you?” Maybe he was exaggerating a little with it being a Pariah level threat, but it was weird.

“Yeah. Weird.” While Tucker gave strange responses sometimes, that was weird even by their standards. He usually never shut up, but thinking about it, Tucker had been weirdly silent during lunch this time.

“Tucker? You alright, buddy?” The three were in the cafeteria, so Danny had been a little concerned with eating before his food was stolen or shoved down his shirt, but now that he was looking, Tucker had a lot of papers and notebooks out. “Okay, last I checked February wasn’t even over yet. What’s with the finals level studying?”

“It’s not studying.” Tucker was staring down at a packet of papers with utter seriousness, food completely abandoned and ignored beside him. It was, Danny decided, absolutely terrifying. “It’s for the student council elections coming up.”

Danny didn’t even get to open his mouth before Sam was kicking him, which, alright, he probably deserved that considering he hadn’t even known that his best friend was running for student elections. “Cool- Cool. That’s cool. Uh, refresh my memory, which position are you going for?” Because if Tucker was aiming for President, then he had quite the depressing news.

“Vice president. In this school, the VP always is the one behind the big changes. The jocks can fight for the figurehead position all they want, but I know what I’m doing.”

“Never doubted you for a second, buddy.” At least he had done his research, this year. “So, uh, what kind of plans you have in mind? Hopefully nothing that will end up with a changed lunch menu.”

“Hey! We agreed to never speak of that moment again! Nothing I did or said as a freshman can be held against me and you know it.” Sam glared at him and Danny knew without any doubt that she could kill him anytime she pleased.

“Right, right, so, uh, student council. Vice president. You wanna… talk about it?” That’s what supportive friends did, right? Talk about student politics?

“You have time for it?” All three of them seemed to realize how harsh that was at the same time since Danny winced the same moment as Tucker and Sam. “Sorry- Sorry, that was… Sorry, man.”

“Yeah, no, hey, I get it. I haven’t exactly been around the past few weeks like I should have been.” It had been one crazy thing after another, it seemed, but things were settling down, now. “The ghosts haven’t been by in almost two weeks, though, so I think I’m good on time for the moment.”

“Oh… Right! Well, uh, so first-” The next few words were drowned out by the ringing of the school bell, Tucker looking disgruntled as Sam hid a laugh behind her napkin.

“Raincheck?” Danny grinned, happy when he saw Tucker give a grudging one of his own. “We can talk about it after school. Gaming party at yours?”

“You know it.” Sharing a quick fist bump with the both of them, Danny helped Tucker gather a backpack’s worth of paper as Tucker looked like he tried to stop himself from smiling too widely. “Just you wait, man, I have so many ideas on how to keep this place from becoming hell- Oh! I had a few ideas about our, uh, club.”

“Club? Tuck, we don’t-” Oh. Oh! “Right! The club.” Ghost hunting was a club now, then. Great. “Uh, sure- Yeah. That sounds great.”

A little gaming time with Tucker while talking about their lives sounded like something that was long overdue.

Unfortunately, the ghosts never stayed quiet for long. What was supposed to be a fun night of gaming turned into six hours of fighting off Technus and his latest plan to use the Gamestop in the mall to take over the internet. It was six hours of his life that he was never going to get back, but he figured he could at least make it up to Tucker by taking him to the mall that, thanks to ‘Phantom,’ was still there.

Of course, it would have been better if Desiree hadn’t shown up and started granting wishes by the fountains. One would think that the town of Amity Park would have learned not to wish for things out loud, but four hours of hell proved otherwise. Danny was still trying to figure out who wished for walls to be made of jello. He would kick their ass, if he ever figured it out, that was for sure.

After that it was the Lunch Lady causing a riot at one of the local soup kitchens, Ember trying to enslave a group of teenagers in the park, the Box Ghost taking over the post office, and Johnny and Kitty having a fight that almost destroyed an entire city block.

Finally, though, March was here and things were calming down once again. “Tucker- Hey! Tucker! Wait up!” Student elections for next year’s positions weren’t going to be voted on until late April so Danny had plenty of time to listen to Tucker’s plans and help him out with campaigning and all of that. It would be easier, of course, if Tucker would slow down and wait for him. “Hey, so, I was thinking that today-”

“You could leave me behind and go off and hunt ghosts on your own? Yeah, sounds perfect, Danny, let’s do that.” It wasn’t the words that hurt so much as the way Tucker sounded so bitter. “Here, you can even get a head start. I’ll go home, and you can stand here and wait for the next ghost attack, which should be in, oh, ten minutes? Five, maybe?”

“Okay, no gaming marathon today, then.” Danny shook his head, trying to find out where the bitter attitude was coming from and finding himself unable to. He knew it had been a rough few weeks, but it wasn’t like any of that was Danny’s fault. “Okay, right, I’ll bite, what the hell? I mean, I know I’ve been busy-”

“Busy?” Tucker near knocked Danny over with how fast he turned around. “No, busy would be dealing with the ghosts and then coming to talk to me afterwards. You’ve been a jerk-”

“I’ve been a jerk? You’ve been avoiding me all day when I’ve been trying to catch up to you so we can talk. And I’m sorry, since when am I considered a jerk for taking care of threats that no one else can?”

“No one else- Do you even realize- Do you even see us?! All of this - everything - is all your fault! And you’re too much of a stubborn jerk to even see that!”

“My… And just what, Tucker, is my fault?” None of this was his fault! How was any of this his fault? He had his own stuff to deal with, too, and by the time the fights ended these days, he was too tired to do much more than to make it home and collapse.

What Tucker thought was his fault was something Danny didn’t get to hear. Instead he heard a high-pitched whine, saw Tucker look shocked and scared, and then he felt nothing but pain. Pain and fear were the last things he felt before he saw black.

::

“Greetings, prey… I had a feeling that my weapons wouldn’t trigger that little detection power of yours.”

“Oh, God, of course it’s you.” Danny’s ears were still ringing, and his mouth felt like it was stuffed full of cotton and sand, but he had enough sense to recognize Skulker’s voice when he heard it. “And here I thought you finally chased the wrong prey and got your suit destroyed or something.”

“Unfortunately for you, that is not the case. No, whelp… You see, I’ve decided that it was high time that we bring our little hunt to new grounds.” Right, Skulker was just going on with his dramatics. That gave Danny at least five good minutes to figure out where the hell he was and why he felt so awful.

The second one he could probably blame on whatever Skulker had used to knock him out. He remembered electricity, just barely, and that was enough. Skulker had probably gone to Technus to have his weapons upgraded, the jerk.

Okay, okay. Focus. He had been leaving school and- Tuck. Tucker. Right. Well, even if they were fighting, he was still sure that Tucker would call Sam and Jazz and some rescue attempt would be put together. At least, that was what he thought until he heard a familiar groan beside him.

“My brains… feel like oatmeal.” Pushing himself up faster than he should have, Danny’s vision swam as he stared down at where Tucker was lying down next to him.

“Ah, yes. I even brought along a friend of yours for our hunt today. I couldn’t have him running to tell others and interrupt our hunt too soon, now could I?”

“Skulker, the second I can see straight I am going to punch you in your face!” Of all the things to happen of course Tucker would be trapped alongside him! Sam, at least, could have kept pace with him, but Tucker? Depending on where they were, they might just be doomed.

“Maybe once you might have been able to, whelp, but I have the home field advantage.” The… The home field advantage? Stomach feeling like it had been taken out of him and dropped off a skyscraper, Danny shot his gaze up towards the sky and saw nothing except green. Green meant that they were in the Ghost Zone, but Skulker wouldn’t be so smug if it was just that. “Now, since I like to give my prey a sporting chance, I’ll give you a ten-minute head start.”

Feeling a tug to his wrist, Danny’s gaze snapped over to where Tucker was looking shocked and scared, eyes wide as he stared at the handcuffs that chained them together. This, Danny realized, just became a lot more difficult.

“Oh, and did I mention your ten minutes began when you awoke?” Skulker’s smug, satisfied words had Danny scrambling to his feet, fighting the wave of dizziness that swept over him as he grabbed Tucker’s arm and pulled him along as he started to run.

“Danny! Do you even know where we’re going?!” Tucker’s shouts only had Danny pulling them along faster, because the sooner they got away from Skulker, the better.

“I think that as long as we’re running away from the crazy mecha suit, then it doesn’t really matter,” Danny yelled back, eyes wide as he tried not to run them into any trees. He had caught glimpses of a forest in the Ghost Zone once before, but since when had there been a jungle? Were they at Skulker’s island or lair or whatever it was?

“And how do we know we’re not gonna just wind up going in circles!” Feeling a jerk on his arm as Tucker tripped over something, Danny swore as he slowed down enough to make sure Tucker didn’t fall before pulling him along again. “Ow- Danny!”

“Just shut up and run, Tuck. We wouldn’t even be in this mess if you hadn’t been acting like a jerk-”

“You’re blaming me for this?!” Tucker stopped again, and Danny grunted as he felt a sharp tug to his wrist where the handcuff was locked around him. He was starting to hate these handcuffs and he couldn’t wait to punch Skulker in the face for this. “This is your fault, dude.”

“My fault? It’s my fault that you’ve been ignoring me for the last few days?” Seeing the other ready to reply, Danny sharply shook his head the same time he pulled on the chain of the handcuffs. “We don’t have time for this. Just shut up and I’ll fly us out of here.”

Danny let himself relax before he was triggering his change into his ghost half, except there were no rings - or anything else. Trying again, Danny swallowed as, again, nothing happened. “Oh no.”

“Oh no?” Tucker frowned, crossing his arms and bringing Danny’s own arm with him. “Why are you saying oh no?” Changing wasn’t working, nor was flying, or intangibility, invisibility, ectoblasts, or anything else.

“We might have a problem,” Danny finally admitted, looking to the handcuffs and realizing for the first time that they were glowing. “Scratch that, we definitely have a problem.”

Tucker followed his gaze after a moment and it seemed to click at once considering the loud swear he let out. “This thing stops your ghost powers?”

“Seems to be the case,” Danny hissed, fingers scrabbling against the cuff on his wrist. He almost started swearing when it didn’t even budge. “Okay- Okay, just- Don’t panic. Just follow me-”

“And who put you in charge?” Tucker looked even more defensive than before as he took a step forward, poking at Danny’s chest, and, seriously? “This is my life on the line, too, you know! Why do you get to make all the decisions?”

“Can we not do this right now?” Danny frowned, batting Tucker’s hand away. “Look, I get it, you’re pissed I don’t get to spend time with you anymore, but we need to get out of here before Skulker tries to skin us or something. As for the other thing, I get to be in charge because I know about ghost things.”

“And I don’t?” Instead of his words reassuring Tucker, the other only seemed to be getting even angrier. As great as it was that they were finally talking, now was really not the time. “Dude, I’ve been right here the entire time! You don’t even see me, but we’ve been learning all of this stuff at the same time! The same pace!”

“Where is this even coming from?!” Danny finally shouted back, not caring that their ten minutes were probably up and Skulker was on the hunt for them. Skulker was the last thing he was worried about, right now. “It’s only recently that we’ve been fighting like this-”

“Recent?” Tucker’s voice was whisper soft before he was yelling again, looking angrier and angrier with each word. “Recent- It’s always been like this! You’ve always been so damn prideful and full of yourself and it’s gotten worse ever since you became ‘Phantom.’ You think you’re above everything!”

For a second, Danny could only stare at his best friend in shock. Then the shock ended and anger set in. “Above- You have no idea what I go through!” They could never understand. Tucker and Sam could never understand what it was like to be half-ghost. They saw him, but they didn’t see the aftermath. They never saw. “I’m trying to be ‘in charge’ because I, at least, know about all these damn ghost things-”

“And I don’t?!” They were the same words, but this time Tucker screamed them as if Danny had just stabbed him. “I’ve been right here this entire time and learning it all the same time as you! I’ve been here the whole time and you don’t even see me! I’m nothing but the tech guy to you!”

“At least you know what you are!” The words exploded out of him, Danny certain that his powers would have already been reacting if they hadn’t been suppressed. “I don’t even know if I’m alive anymore some days-!” Danny’s words died in his throat as he saw green energy that was speeding towards them.

Their ten minutes were definitely up, and Danny realized in that moment how loud they had been screaming. He then realized that while these weapons could hurt ghosts, this was technology that could kill humans, and it was flying right for Tucker’s back and no-

Danny was moving before his brain could make the decision, hands grabbing Tucker by the arm and back of the neck before he was spinning them around to switch places. He then immediately pushed them towards the ground. The blast of energy felt like fire against his skin as it seared across his back, gritted teeth feeling like they would break as he suppressed a scream and hit the ground a second after Tucker.

He didn’t give himself time to recover, instead dragging the two of them up before running through the jungle again, trying not to focus on how Skulker’s laugh boomed all around them. Danny knew Tucker was trying to say something, but Danny ignored it until he was skidding into a cave opening, knowing the hiding spot was only temporary.

“-alright?!” Tucker’s whisper shouting finally sunk in, Danny blinking as he looked over to see Tucker was staring at him with wide, wet eyes and shaking hands. “Dude- Dude, you pretty much just took a bullet for me.”

Staring at him for a minute, Danny finally shrugged and tried for a grin, “I can handle stuff like that.” Tucker couldn’t. Danny was stronger against these types of things even in his human form.

“But- We were fighting. We were fighting and you still- Ow! Hey!” Watching Tucker clutch the back of his head where Danny had just hit him, Danny gave a mock glare.

“Dude, do you seriously think that I would let you get hurt just because we’re fighting?” Danny was definitely pissed at Tucker and he had the urge to drop him off a small hill or something, but even at their worst he would never want Tucker hurt, let alone killed. “Idiot.”

Hearing leaves rustling, Danny jerked them further into the cave, biting his lip at the wave of pain from his back even as he pulled Tucker down to the ground and into the shadows. The two were utterly silent and still as the rustling leaves slowly moved away before they disappeared altogether.

“Okay, we need a plan,” Danny finally said, looking to Tucker and giving him a nudge. “Any ideas, VP?” There was a long moment where Danny thought Tucker was going to make a thing of it before he looked away with a grudging smile.

“Elections aren’t until April, you know,” Tucker said quietly, Danny beyond grateful that they weren’t the type to go into feelings. “Sorry. I-”

“Nope, no, nuh-uh, we don’t have time to deal with emotions. You’ve been a jerk and I’ve been an arrogant asshole or something and got carried away and forgot to tell you that we’re a team, and you’re not just backup.”

“I’ve been a jealous asshole,” Tucker finally corrected, looking suspiciously emotional. “And you’ve been a prideful prick who doesn’t like to take suggestions.” Ah, much better. “You think I would have learned the first time about being jealous.”

The memory of Desiree and her powers sent a shudder through Danny and Tucker both, especially as they remembered the end result. While ‘Tucker Phantom’ hadn’t been bad at first, it had showed Danny that he could get as wrapped up in himself as anyone else. Had he really started slipping that easily, again?

“I haven’t exactly given you reason not to be,” Danny finally said, sitting up slowly and trying not to show how much his back was hurting him. Tucker probably knew, anyways, judging by his wince. “Tuck… I didn’t think I had to say it because I thought you knew, you idiot.”

“As always, you’re full of such affectionate nicknames,” Tucker grumbled, peeking his head out of the cave. “Looks clear, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he had Technus rig up some kind of spying system.”

“Yeah, but Tucker, look, man, I’m trying to emotionally connect, here.” At the look on Tucker’s face, Danny did his best not to laugh. “I’m serious. You’re not just tech support.”

“Yeah, yeah, man, I know, we’re friends and I’m part of the team and-”

“We’re not friends.” Danny let Tucker’s shocked silence sit for a moment before he grinned, giving him a nudge. “We’re brothers, aren’t we?”

“Oh my god you almost gave me a heart attack.” Even as Tucker dramatically clutched his chest, Danny could see the way his eyes were getting wet. He knew his own were the same, so at least they had mutually assured destruction. “This conversation never happened.”

“What conversation? Seriously, though, please tell me you have a plan or something, because otherwise we’re kind of screwed.”

“I don’t know how to get these cuffs off, but I do have something.” Watching as Tucker twisted and squirmed around, Danny shook his head as the teen finally got his backpack open from where it was stuck on one arm.

“Tell me that you’re not about to pull out some plot device to save the day or whatever. I know our lives have gotten kind of crazy, Tuck, but-” A Fenton Thermos was being waved in front of him. A Fenton Thermos that was black and green. “Whoa. Dude, what…?”

“I told you I’ve been working on our ghost stuff, too. This is one of the things I was trying to show you, dude.” The Thermos, which looked a lot less like a thermos these days, was the same size as the old ones, but had a metal plate that had a circular pattern to it covering the top instead of the lid it used to have. “It’s like one of those cool sci-fi kinds of openings, you know? You just a press button, this opens up like a circle thing, and boom, you have a ghost capturing ray.”

“Tuck, you’re a genius.” Taking the Thermos, Danny’s grin got even wider as he thought about how much work must have gone into something like this. “You’re my favorite.”

“Sweet. I’d tell Sam, but I don’t know if the satisfaction would be worth both of our deaths,” Tucker laughed, falling silent the same time Danny did. A branch had snapped not far off from where they were sitting. “Wanna take that thing for a test drive?”

“Tuck, you read my mind.” Danny grinned as the two of them stood back up, Danny realizing in that moment that Tucker really had been through it all with him. As Skulker stepped out of the foliage, Danny’s grin grew wider. This was going to be fun.

::

“I was wondering when you would be back! Honestly, you could at least give warning if you’re going to disappear for weeks on… end.” Ghostwriter stared at him and Danny could see the exact moment that he registered Danny’s back was bleeding and he was chained to Tucker. “This one must be Tucker, I presume?”

“Oh, cool, you do talk about us!” Tucker’s voice was a cheerful little chirp as he stuck his hand out. “Yo. I’m Tucker Foley, Danny’s best-friend-slash-brother. You must be the ghostly book nerd he won’t shut up about.”

“You’re going to make me regret bringing you here, aren’t you,” Danny grumbled, reluctantly amused when Ghostwriter cautiously shook Tucker’s hand. “So, uh, hey, do you know how to lockpick handcuffs?”

“I do, actually, yes.” Oh, cool. That made this easier. Danny also knew what he was asking Ghostwriter about next time he visited. “I take it those handcuffs were not a choice, then.”

“Why- Why would you think it was a choice?” Danny was grateful that Tucker looked just as horrified, but Ghostwriter only looked amused as he opened the door properly for them.

“Who am I to judge another’s preferences? Come on, then. It shouldn’t take me long. I take it that’s been cancelling out your abilities?”

“Yeah, Skulker’s a dick,” Danny nodded, pulling Tucker into the library and using the handcuff like a leash when it looked like Tucker was about to run off to explore. “Do you have bandages, too?”

“Goodness, you’re certainly high maintenance,” Ghostwriter sighed, looking amused instead of concerned, thank God. Danny was good enough with all the concern he already got. “I should have something.”

“So, hey, you know, you could totally go digital and get rid of half these books - maybe free up some space, even. I mean, paper copies aren’t really efficient.”

Ghostwriter, after faltering in his steps and looking back, gave Tucker the dirtiest look that could ever be imagined, Danny breaking and starting to laugh when Tucker only beamed back before going in depth about the advantage of technology over books. It was good to have things back to normal.

Danny couldn’t wait until they got even better, though.

[wiseabsol]

WA Reviews “Dominion” by Aurelia le, Chapter 6: Timing

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6383825/6/Dominion

Summary: For the Fire Nation royal siblings, love has always warred with hate. But neither the outward accomplishment of peace nor Azula’s defeat have brought the respite Zuko expected. Will his sister’s plans answer this, or only destroy them both?

Content Warnings: This story contains discussions and depictions of child abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and incest. This story also explores the idea that Zuko’s redemption arc (and his unlearning of abuse) is not as complete as the show suggested, and that Azula is not a sociopath (with the story having a lot of sympathy for her). If that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, I would strongly recommend steering clear of this story and my reviews of it.  

Note: Because these were originally posted as chapter reviews/commentaries, I will often be talking to the author in them (though sometimes I will also snarkily address the characters). While I’ve also tried not to spoil later events in the story in these reviews, I would strongly recommend reading through chapter 25 before reading these, just to be safe.

Now on to chapter 6!

CHAPTER 6: TIMING

Alright, let’s see if I can review chapter six before the day is out. I’ve got five hours. I can totally do this! So Zuko, Mai, and Lu Ten are vacationing on Ember Island, which is also where the asylum is. This is already not a great combination. I think it’s pretty funny that Mai’s palanquin has more black on it than the other two, although that defeats the purpose of it being ambiguous who is in which palanquin if someone chooses to attack their procession. Yes, they are less likely to all be wiped out in a single strike this way, but someone could still target any one of them and still achieve a devastating amount of damage. Mai is heavily implied later to have fertility issues, so taking out Lu Ten might mean there would be no heir to inherit later. Mai is the spymaster, so taking her out would cripple Zuko’s administration. And taking out Zuko would throw the precarious peace the Fire Nation now has with the rest of the world into the refuse bin. So the consequences would be nasty any way that that attack could go. Related to this, the royal family being this small means it’s very vulnerable. Sure, there’s Iroh to fall back on in case something happens to Zuko, Mai, and Lu Ten, but Iroh no longer has his own heir. He could potentially legitimize one of his bastards to solve that problem, but he doesn’t know any of them like he knew Lu Ten. Ozai and Azula are non-options as well, as far as most of the world is concerned. And there are no uncles, aunts, cousins, or other blood relations for the throne to pass to outside of these people. If another noble family wanted to overthrow the royal family, they wouldn’t have to go through that many people to get what they wanted. Sure, the people they would have to get through are powerful, but they could feasibly accomplish it if there was, say, a rebellion of the magnitude of Robert’s Rebellion against Targaryens in ASOIAF. It could be done if they had the right candidate to rally around. But back to the chapter. There’s an interesting political undercurrent going on where Ember Island is concerned, and Zuko’s initiative in dealing with it pleasantly surprised me. Mai deciding to use this opportunity to take a vacation and look for more “knives and stilettos” for her collection made me chuckle, and the mention of Sokka’s space sword was great. I’m imagining Mai presenting it to Sokka with just a hint of smugness now. Gosh, Zuko and Mai are cute before shit hits the fan in chapter seven. Him holding up a parasol for her and her exasperation about him “roughing it up in exile” made me smile. Also, Lu Ten is cute with his “white gold” eyes. I do have some doubts about him being a firebender, though. For one, it seems like him not being one would throw a serious wrench into Zuko and Mai’s dynastic plans, which could be interesting to explore in “Thrones.” Second, given that Mai isn’t a bender and Ursa wasn’t one either, there’s around a 50/50 shot that Lu Ten isn’t. So it’s both a reasonable possibility genetically and intriguing plot-wise, so I’m leaning towards him not being one at present. I also have a theory that a certain other child will be legitimized by Zuko later on, adding another wrench into the already complicated works. But I’ll get to that in later chapters. “‘Love you, bye’ [ . . . ] Was that really how Lu Ten would remember his father? As someone who was always leaving about some official business?”—This is actually really sad, because I imagine that while Zuko worried about whether he would be a good father or not, he does genuinely love his son and want to have a connection with him. “Once he convinced his people that an honorable peace was worth sacrificing a century of ill-gotten gains.”—Very nice symmetry in this line here. “He still wanted more.”—I have an AMV you should watch in regards to that, Zuko: (slash)watch?vS6fNJ79evn8. Also, that song is very appropriate for the conflict in “Dominion” in general. “He didn’t look forward to the prospect of wearing so much clothing in this heat, but if that succeeded in getting his opponents to take him more seriously, he supposed it was worth the imposition.”—Or you could strip to get your opponents to take you seriously. Oh wait. “Mai could almost understand why Lu Ten never tired of playing with [Zuko’s crown]. Beyond the fact that Zuko didn’t often allow him to.”—This makes me remember how Azula allows a certain child to play with her crown later, so this is a nice bit of (probably) unintended contrast. “/Wake the baby, and you die/”—Lol, Mai. Okay, so basically none of the loyalists want to meet up with Zuko to discuss how the Fire Nation should be run. And while he and Mai are discussing it, she says, “Not everyone’s as honest as you” and I want to laugh myself sick. Mai goes over some of the reasons why the loyalists are refusing to meet with him, then volunteers to help him with the negotiations. We also get this cute line, “She had thought there must be something wrong with him, when Zuko told her [her grimace] was her most endearing mannerism.” They have such a wholesome relationship here. It would be such a shame if something happened to it. “‘I know,’ Mai sighed dramatically, ‘sometimes I doubt my own judgement’”—I’m both laughing at that and pitying her, given later events. Okay, so Zuko expresses that he sometimes feels as if Azula wouldn’t have these kinds of problems ruling like he does. Technically, he’s right—the loyalists would much rather have Azula as their ruler than Zuko (if they couldn’t have Ozai, that is). But rather than continuing to reassure Zuko, Mai shuts this conversation down with snide remarks about the other problems Azula would have, namely being crazy. Which is unfair to both Zuko and Azula, even though I get why mentioning Azula set Mai off like that. In response, Zuko asks her, “‘Will you honestly pretend you never had /any/ regard for her at all? [ . . . ] That you /hated/ every minute of it?’” After which Mai actually admits that she was fond of Azula—the line “‘And she actually had a sense of humor.’ /Unlike someone else I could mention/” was especially painful to me. It seems like progress coming from her, but then: “That now that she consented to share her feelings, they could cry together over Azula’s sad, sad fate. Or some similar nonsense. Agni, he was worse than Ty Lee sometimes.”—The expectation the readers were building to is averted. “‘She crossed a line, when she left you to die. And subsequent events showed her for what she really was. [ . . . ] Something barely human, let alone deserving of respect.”—I maintain that Mai is wrong about Azula’s capacity to kill Zuko. First, let’s look at what happened when Azula “tried to kill” Zuko. When the ropes for the cable car were being cut in the Boiling Rock, Ty Lee, interestingly, did not express any concern about that. That would be strange if Zuko’s life was in danger, since we know she cares for Zuko as a friend. As such, while I don’t know exactly what would have happened if the cable car had hit the boiling lake, it seems as if there’s a possibility that it would have floated instead of sinking. Instead of everyone inside of it being killed, they would have been left stranded on the lake, where they could have been retrieved and taken into custody. Or it could have killed them, but again, I can’t see Ty Lee being okay with that, given her defense of Mai in that same episode. Then there was the attack on the Western Air Temple, during which Zuko seemingly falls to his death twice. The first time this happens, he lands on another Fire Nation airship—which Azula had to know was there. The second time it happens, Azula is falling along with him, until she manages to save herself. Now the question is, would she have managed to find a way to save him as well? Would she have grabbed him as she launched herself towards the cliff? Ultimately, we don’t know the answer to this, because the Gaang caught Zuko before she got her bearings back. She didn’t have to save him, so we will never know if she would have chosen to do so. As such, it’s ambiguous how serious her attempts to murder him were. It’s possible that despite her claims and her father’s orders, she might have been trying to capture Zuko instead. We can’t know for sure one way or the other. Zuko, on the other hand, would have let Azula fall to her death. No matter how any readers might feel about his characterization in “Dominion,” they can’t deny that that was something that he did in canon—and given the emphasis on being merciful to one’s enemies in ATLA, that was a decidedly unheroic thing for him to do, especially after he had been “redeemed.” Anyway, back to the chapter. Zuko thinks he should go visit Azula, since they’re on Ember Island. Not because he wants to, but because he thinks he should. “letting the fabric fall from his hands and onto their bed like a sinuous river of blood”—Great description to convey the tone of the moment. “‘You don’t owe her anything [ . . . ] And the sooner you realize that, the better off we’ll /all/ be.”—Mai’s not wrong, but we know Zuko doesn’t feel the same way. “‘You don’t know what it’s like [ . . . ] to have someone you whole life, and then they’re just gone.”—Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch. But has it occurred to Zuko that Azula probably felt the same way when he was exiled? I’m sure it hasn’t. "Mai considered in that moment just going with him, but dismissed it almost as quickly. She had never been to see Azula, and there was no telling how the mad princess would react to her, whatever improvements Ty Lee claimed in her mental state."—Honestly, Mai? Maybe you should have gone with him. I think it's clear that you're still hurting over what happened at the Boiling Rock, even if you deny it and claim that your denial is closure. Talking with her might have helped you, and it might have helped Zuko too. In addition, I suspect that the events of this story would have gone down a dramatically different path if you had been with Zuko during chapter seven. But you chose to stay with Lu Ten, which is, admittedly, a reasonable choice to make, especially given your justifications for it (namely, that if Azula got the upper hand in a fight, she could use you against Zuko). But it also meant that you missed an opportunity to head off some of this story's conflict before it began. So Zuko goes to visit Azula, while Mai practices with her knives. The "but [she] like to think it was something more, that maybe he inherited not just her eyes and thick black hair, but her enduring love of pointy things" is super cute and makes me want him to be a nonbender even more. After a while, though, Mai gets the news that Azula has escaped. Yes! Except she's not as enthused about the prospect as I am. "'Answer your Fire Lady!' Mai said stridently, taking a quick step closer to compel him and eliciting a frightened squeak from Lu Ten, who was unused to hearing his mother express herself so loudly."—Nice characterization here. "Another /cursed/ letter"—Ah, so does this mean Mai is fully aware of Azula's letters and Zuko's fixation on them? "'Dada?' he chirped hopefully up at her, with that same uncertain smile she had seen on Zuko's face too many times to count."—Awww! "while Mai removed the flame headpieces and pin from her hair, letting it fall freely down her back"—Have we ever seen Mai with her hair down? I don't think we have. I'm curious about how that looks. "And Mai reflected on the fitness of the metaphor"—While I reflect on the cleverness of the writing.

We move on to Zuko who, like us, is skeptical that the breakout at the asylum had nothing to do with Azula. Also, "cold therapy" sounds like the Fire Nation's equivalent of electroshock therapy. Apparently, it "helps" mental ill firebenders, which both Zuko and I think is nonsense. In any case, Azula got thrown into a cooler at one point, with Iroh's consent. Apparently it did not go well, because Azula flashed back to being frozen by Katara in the finale, even assuming the position she was in then, with her hands behind her back. Eventually, though, she acclimated to the cells. "'We think her fire simply burns too hot. As you are aware, she is the first bender in several generations to wield blue flames, and the first ever recorded in the royal family.'"—This is so cool. I wonder what the stories of the other blue flame benders are? "'You're used to blaming her when things go wrong, aren't you? [ . . . ] It gives you a measure of comfort."—Dr. Kwan's got your measure, Zuko. Oooohhh, so Zuko wanted Azula to be guarded by eight imperial firebenders at all times. It's no wonder she needed to set up an escape for some of the other patients in the asylum—how else to pull the guards away from her? Also, the "No joke" comment made me laugh. "Didn't these people know what she /was/?"—Stop saying "what" instead of "who" Lord Weirdo. It's contributing to your dehumanization of Azula. "This one opened outward, to prevent Azula from hiding behind it when anyone entered her cell."—That is surprisingly savvy of them to have designed the door that way. "'Her hair is /brown/! /Dark/ brown, like my /mother's/!"—Ugh from the future. "'And she's /shorter,/ that isn't /her/!"—So is it canon that Azula has a short stature, or is that more of your preference, Aurelia? Because as a short woman, I don't mind, but I also don't know the answer to that question, XD. Zuko briefly panics, thinking that Azula is pretending to be one of the imperial firebenders, which is a nice nod to her pretending to be a Kyoshi Warrior in canon. But of course Azula didn't stick around like that. "But it still hurt"—The way this is led into makes me think that this is meant to be read as, "But it still hurt that she'd betrayed him," even though this isn't a betrayal, because it's not about him at all. This is also a nice echo to Azula's speech on the beach. "The guard smiled shyly, odd as that was to see in a man at least five years his senior, 'It'd be hard to forget….'"—Is it weird that I find that cute? Because I do. Azula's plan is brilliant, which of course it would be. Though Zuko thinks, "This just proved how little they knew her. Azula didn't identify with anyone, Zuko recalled. She was just good at pretending." Which is not true. Azula is capable of empathy; she just doesn't express it in obvious ways. Being raised by a sociopath who equated warm emotions with weakness no doubt influenced her in that respect. "The one part that did /not/ make an awful sort of sense to him, was how she had subdued a guard and left the cell under her own power. Kwan and the guards both confirmed that she had been sedated, and the effect should have lasted several more hours."—This primes us to both the fact that Azula has been building up an immunity to the sedatives they're been giving her, but also that she might still be effected by the drugs when we see her. This is important in light of what happens in the next chapter. Zuko's means of trying to find Azula are actually very well thought out. Then he remembers that it's Azula's birthday, which makes him remember his conversation with Ty Lee, which makes him remember when he was last on the beach with Ty Lee, Mai, and Azula. This leads him to the realization that Azula has gone to the royal family's abandoned summer home. "He knew how much she hated it there."—Is there a specific reason for that, or is it just that it reminds her of her mother and thus is poisoned by her resentment towards Ursa? "His footfalls sounded despite the dust, the faded wood floors unaccustomed to his weight, and a sudden idea struck him. Zuko removed his boots and left them sitting beside the doors"—Well that is one way to make sure you don't have to worry about the logistics of him removing them in a certain scene in the next chapter. "Not a /single/ pair of /pants/ in her entire wardrobe?' Azula grumbled to herself. 'Why am I not sur—'"—I may have laughed really hard at this, because of course Ursa wouldn't have owned any pants! That would have been so unladylike of her! Though it is also very concerning that Azula decided to look through her mother's clothes for something first. I get the rationale behind her decision, but it's also unsettling once you know she uses the same makeup as her mother too. "He did not remember deciding to look inside. That fact alone was troubling."—Brace yourself, Zuko, it's about to get 1000x more troubling. "And he had never been one to hide pointlessly. Or to run from a fight."—Pssht, who thinks that way about themselves and expects us to take them seriously? "'You came back.'"—Oh Azula, honey. I wish he had come back for you, but he came back for the idea of you more than anything else. And that cliffhanger is where you chose to end the chapter. I'm very fortunate that I started reading this when there was—gosh, I want to say sixteen chapters up already? I distinctly remember getting the notification in my inbox when "A Kindness" came out. So I didn't have to wait for chapter seven like some readers did, which I imagine would have killed me. I know waiting for "Line of Fire" almost did, and that was for Ursa rather than Azula. Though to be fair, Ursa is a fascinating character, so she was worth the wait. In any case, I'm looking forward to tackling chapter seven and heading into the meat of this story, but I might need a few days to prepare myself for it. As always, thank you for the read! Sincerely, WiseAbsol

[overdrivels]

The Way to a Heart (2)

You all underestimate how much I love this character. I also want to thank @dickbutt-writes-again for listening to me freak out so patiently, and giving such concise advice. It’s really helpful.

<<Chapter 1

Your day starts whenever your customers demand it, whether it be seven in the evening for Reinhardt's warm milk or three in the afternoon for Ana's 'tea parties'. The three main meals of the day are also ad-hoc as the agents are always coming in and out of the base at unpredictable times, work through their mealtimes, and (perhaps the worst offense of all) just plain refuse to eat.

Your day ended whenever all agents have retired for the day (or night); those days are few and far between. It wouldn't do to be unavailable when an agent is going hungry, so the time in between orders are filled with other tasks: cleaning, prep work, checking inventory, attending and scheduling remote meetings, planning menus, updating ledgers, maintaining the kitchen tools, etc. The days of twenty chefs in the kitchen at its peak hours (six at its lowest), everyone with a specific responsibility, are long gone.

Sleep came in the form of naps that pass in a blink. A proper night’s rest was impossible with agents like McCree, who is constantly haunted by nightmares and seek the companionship of alcohol to keep them at bay, and Agent D.Va, who refuses to sleep at an appropriate time and wanders often into the cafeteria in search of a late night snack (and some interesting, albeit one-sided, conversations).

Mornings, however quick they come, bring about the need to double check inventory to ensure that no one has come into the kitchen and filched anything. While Athena keeps the place under close watch while you sleep and will alert you of any intruders, she's not omnipotent.

You bite your lip as you go through the numbers, slipping in and out of the walk-in freezer, counting up near-empty containers, meticulously labeled in blue tape and sorted by category.

It shouldn't surprise you so much since the growth of the organization would naturally come with the growth of appetites, but whenever Agent Hanzo orders, the food supplies deplete rapidly. At first, you had chalked it up to malnutrition from being on the run for so long and not having a proper meal, but it is beginning to wear on your limited resources. It’s lucky he’s not at the base often, having to get shipped off with other agents for various missions. (Though, the demands for seconds never fails to make you smile and your heart swell—nothing is better than to know your customers have a healthy appetite and enjoy your cooking.) Between him, Agent Zarya, Agent Reinhardt, and Agent Roadhog, it’s impossible to predict just how much food you’d need without over-ordering.

"Athena. Stats, please."

From one of the screens high above the kitchen, once (and still is) used to show the incoming orders, the statistics of how many calories each agent has burned and a rough estimate of how much they consumed (and lost) within the past twenty-four hours are posted for your scrutiny.

You thin your lips and pace the kitchen, tapping the notepad in your hand. Agent Soldier: 76 has been at the top of the charts lately, and returning his food only half-finished and cold hours later. (It’s painful in more ways than one when you have to scrape off the crusted remains; it makes sleep even more difficult to come by). There's also the matter of Agent Symmetra's dietary restrictions; Agent Mei’s lactose intolerance; Agent D.Va’s preference for spicy food; Agent Reinhardt’s health; the list goes on and on.

As disappointing as it is, it's also a blessing that some agents do not require food (like Agent Zenyatta, who politely passes by your window with a gentle greeting and a friendly wave that you would return shyly. Agent Winston, on the other hand, refuses to eat much beyond peanut butter related delectables and takes the combined effort of Athena and yourself to convince him to eat something different.

You flip through your list again, already mentally trying to piece together a menu for today's meals and snacks from the limited ingredients. There’s always an abundance of rice, so you may have to stick with that again. Maybe some congee for breakfast with some shredded ginger on top (extra ginger for Agent Solider: 76 to open up his appetite). That could help with the rationing, but it’s not necessarily something that all agents would enjoy. Maybe oatmeal should also be given as an option today. But then it’d require toppings that you don’t have.

You turn a page, pursing your lips.

Perhaps the flour reserved specifically for Captain Amari's cookies may have to find its way into everyone else's food. (It's a secret stash of ingredients specially ordered for the woman's afternoon tea gatherings. You took great joy in watching these sessions from the screens in your kitchen, oven still hot and kettle at the ready in case more provisions were needed. You had watched friendships forged over the buttery, crumbly treats, and several relationships mended from a single cup of tea.)

You shake your head of the thought. No, you could never do that to her. The old Head Chef would have your head (but not before Captain Amari did).

Perhaps from another source...

Your sigh echoes in the cavernous kitchen.

The notepad is placed onto an empty counter, and you roll up your sleeves.

It's four days until the next shipment, almost all agents are present. Running out to buy more ingredients is plausible, but risky, and funds were being allocated elsewhere at the moment. If you’re careful and creative enough, you can stretch the current inventory over these remaining days. 

And the health and well-being of the agents always came first.

You'll make this work somehow.

Two days have passed.

You chew some mint leaves, the soothing taste counteracts the slow burning in your stomach that is slowly crawling up into your chest that you steadfastly ignore.

‘Captain Amari prefers this without sauce and a lemon wedge,’ you remind yourself as you finish plating the fish. You reach into the garnish counter with shaky fingers and place the citrus slice beside the well-seasoned, pan-roasted sea bass fillet with blistered asparagus and grape tomatoes. Two slices of thick bread (no butter), her tea (dark like the night with mint), and her appetizers are at the ready on the tray.

You deliver it to the window where the woman waits—you didn’t even have to ring the bell.

The woman slides the tray over to the side, leaning in and down onto the counter. "Have you eaten yet?"

The insides of your stomach prickles and aches at the question, and you have to resist the urge to press down on it. Captain Amari is far too sharp for a woman of her years.

You thread your fingers together to disguise the trembling.

A thick french accent rises from your memories, sharp and loud, "Chefs do not eat until their customers have eaten." It echoes in your mind, stabbing itself into your stomach repeatedly.

"I will," you lie. "After, after I have served everyone." The paltry numbers of today's inventory flashes through your head.

She huffs, disbelieving. "In that case, I will not be having my cookies today."

"You...won't?"

Your mind betrays you and immediately begins concocting recipes that could make use of the eggs, flour, butter, and sugar that the sniper's cookies normally call for. Tortillas, pancakes, velouté sauce, pretzels, soufflés--the possibilities stream in like a torrent at the behest of your aching stomach. It's enough to make you salvate just a bit.

"No, I believe I've had my fill for now."

Integrity shocks your mind out of its gluttonous stupor of handmade pasta, puff pastry, vol-au-vent, and pierogi, and you slap your hands against the counter in alarm.

"Are the, the cookies no longer to your satisfaction? Do they require adjustment? Too much sugar? Too little sugar? Should I change the flour?"

She chuckles, one bony hand resting firmly atop yours. You jerk back, but her grip is too strong. She leans down and pokes her head through the window to peer at you with her single eye. You lean back and look away--her gaze is too sharp, she can likely see the weariness beneath your eyes and the crackling of your lips. You run your tongue over them self-consciously.

“Feed yourself,” she chides firmly, wagging a finger. “Do not make me come in there.”

It is against the rules for non-kitchen staff to enter this sanctuary, but even so, you took her threat to heart. “Yes, madame.” Your voice is barely above a whisper.

"Close the kitchen for an hour, and eat." Without giving you any room for argument, she picks up her tray and walks away, the tail of her jacket flowing behind her.

The quiet holds you for a moment before you look up at the screen. It's blank, but the clock is nearing noon. Closing the kitchen now would mean that the agents would have to wait until you're finished, and that wouldn't do. Maybe you could get by with chewing on some more mint until after lunch is served.

You suddenly grab your midsection when the fire in your stomach flares up angrily as if to protest your decisions, dry coughs disappearing into the sleeve of your elbow. It takes a few moments for you to compose yourself, but by then, your vision is swimming with dots of blues, greens, and whites.

Maybe you should heed Captain Amari's wisdom, after all.

When Ana comes for her afternoon tea, before you hand off her order, you ask again, “Arre you absolutely certain you would not like to have your cookies, Cap--Agent Ana?”

Granted, it would take half an hour to make them at this point, but the nagging in your mind remains.

"I'm very sure," she assures you. “Have you eaten yet?”

Embers still burn in your stomach, but it's bearable--not worth a mention.

“I have, thank you."

It’s the spare heads, fins, and tails of the seabass you have served everyone made into a broth over some leftover rice, but was still a meal that placated your stomach. (You had decided to save the ingredients Captain Amari so generously offered for another occasion—maybe make her some aish baladi—Egyptian bread. It’s not your strong point, but it was something you were willing to attempt for her.)

"Good. You must keep yourself in good health, we are counting on you.” 

“Yes, madame.” 

She scoffs, muttering something fond under her breath as she hefts the tray. "Now, I don’t suppose you could join us today?"

It’s not the first time she’s asked you to join her for tea. But what if someone orders and you're not there to receive it? What if they see you sitting around, joking, laughing, and making merry with the other agents while they stand at the terminal, waiting?

Your hands fly to your face and you inhale sharply. No, that won't do. Eating with your customers is something you can’t do. A chef does not eat before or during their customer’s meal times without someone there to cover.

“Thank you for the offer, but—I couldn’t.”

The older Amari hums contemplatively. "We'll get you to join us one day."

“Please enjoy your tea,” you say, pretending that her comment was just kind teasing and not a threat.

“Where are the cookies?” is the immediate reaction from Hanzo, who has started to become a regular member of these little get-togethers. 

"Why, is that all this old woman is good for? Are the cookies the only reason you keep me company?”

“I--no, you are mistaken.” Hanzo looks away, crossing his arms tightly against himself. 

“I’m just teasing,” she says warmly, placing the tray of cups and kettle on the table. Hanzo grunts, acknowledging the sentiment, but still indignant.

"Oh, let me." Mei is quick to lay out the cups and pour the tea while Ana takes her rightful seat. Hanzo looks irked that he would not be having Ana’s specialty cookies today, but a quick pat from the senior sniper on his arm changes that.

"Don't pout. We'll have some next time."  

"I do not pout. Do not be ridiculous."

She gives him a smug look over the rim of her cup that he tries to pointedly ignore with a loud slurp of his tea and winces at the taste--just a little too dark, doused far too heavily in sugar and mint.

From the kitchen, you stifle a laugh behind your hand as you watch Hanzo's reaction from the screens where the orders normally appear, jotting down in your notepad to make up for this lack of cookies, and that Agent Hanzo dislikes Koshary tea. 

Chapter 3>>