#it's been months but I'm still laughing at the fact that i realized i'm demi

[shippingmyworld]

Hi there!

I read that one and really liked your headcanon about Danny and his relationships with his exs and wondered if you had any for JimmyTimmy? I know you're more a tigerghost blog so it's okay if you don't!

It's so funny that I have that reputation since I've only been active in the fandom for like a few months.

But actually I do have a few! I was playing with the idea of expanding this into an actual fic at some point, but if you're curious I included the main points below the cut.

I like to hc that Jimmy's never actually been in a relationship or even kissed anyone before. I know his implied love interest in canon is Cindy (I don't recall if they actually get together in canon or if there was anyone else he showed interest in), but I always saw them more as rivals that end up begrudgingly becoming friends over the years. I also believe that Jimmy would know he's demi-sexual and homo-romantic from a very early age. It just never comes up in conversation because he simply shuts down any conversation about romance by saying he doesn't find the person his friends are talking about attractive (Cindy starts a betting pool with the others because she's picked up on the fact that Jimmy is basically gay but everyone else thinks he's ace).

While Jimmy's love life is rather drama-free for most of his adolescence and early teen years, Timmy on the other hand experiences the equivalent of seven different disney channel tween rom-com movies. He's caught up in the fantasy he's created of Trixie, and his affection will bounce between her and Cindy depending on which girl has shown more attention in the last few days. He'll often annoy Jimmy with his elaborate plans on how he intends to ask one of them out. Occasionally he'll also spend an entire afternoon on an inter-dimensional video call about how annoying Tootie has been lately and what her latest scheme had been to win Timmy's affection.

Jimmy meanwhile has realized he has feeling for Timmy, but locks them away because he believes Timmy is straight. He's honestly just content that Timmy reaches out to him as often as he does and that they're able to still spend time together. He also never points out that what Tootie is doing to Timmy is the exact same thing that Timmy is doing to Trixie and Cindy.

Right before they enter high school, Timmy will read the signals wrong and ask Cindy to go steady with him, but Cindy will politely turn him down and say she'd rather they just be friends. Completely crushed, he'll double down in his attempt to woo Trixie and pull out all the stops, putting on this extremely cringey and embarrassing performance to ask her to be his girlfriend (he got the idea from Cosmo). She'll just straight up laughs in his face and will stomp on his heart, leaving him to be the laughing stock of the school. When Tootie comes and tries to comfort him, Timmy will snap and yell at her, saying all sorts of hurtful things to her face and making her cry.

High school starts, and Timmy finds himself a complete social outcast. No one want to be associated with him after the stunt he pulled to ask out Trixie (even Chester and AJ don't want to spend time with him). Timmy then starts spending more time in Jimmy's universe, annoying Jimmy by randomly showing up inside his lab. Jimmy's annoyed at first, but realizes that Timmy's just lonely and lets him stick around. Timmy eventually makes himself at home (he sets up base in a small corner of the lab that is basically his area that Jimmy doesn't interfere with), and will say something to Jimmy along the lines of "I'm really glad you're apart of my life." Which just kills Jimmy a little bit because he knows that Timmy means it platonically.

After a few months of teen melodrama and some advice from Jimmy, Timmy will approach Tootie with the intent of apologizing to her. He finds her is eating alone in the lunch room at school and just spits out the apology point blank. It will take some time, but the two will reconcile and become friendly with each other, but Tootie will still harbor feelings for Timmy.

Meanwhile, for plot reasons, Remy will transfer to Timmy's school. Timmy expects that Remy is going to make his life hell, but a few weeks pass and Remy seems to actually be avoiding Timmy. It's messing with Timmy's head. He can't have his guard up the entire time at school, Remy was always more of a threat than Mr. Crocker ever was. So during one of the school's pep rally's, Timmy will pull Remy under the bleachers and confront him. Remy promises that he's done with trying to expose Cosmo and Wanda, and Timmy wants to know how he can trust Remy's words. Remy will then kiss him, confusing the hell out of Timmy. He says he has feeling for Timmy, and would never do anything that would hurt Timmy and ruin his chances. Timmy is hung up on the fact that they're both guys and Remy just kissed him??? So he says nothing and just walks away.

The next day he'll be sitting with Chester & AJ in class and tells them about it (they never apologized for ditching Timmy at the start of high school but he doesn't really have any other friends and they're forced to talk with him since they all sit next to each other). AJ asks if Timmy knows what homosexuality and bisexuality is, and Timmy has honestly never heard of those terms before. After all, his parents never let him watch TV or give him money to go out, and still force him to have a babysitter at his age. When AJ explains it all (he has graphs and examples of non-heterosexual relationships observed in other mammals) something just clicks for Timmy. When school is done with, he runs home (ignoring Remy and Tootie who are both planning to confess their feeling again) and poofs over to Jimmy's lab.

Jimmy's surprised to see him. But he's even more surprised when Timmy just grabs him by both shoulders and pulls him in for a kiss without another word. Jimmy's brain literally crashes (he wonders if he's having a stroke or some sort of stress-dream), and when Timmy pulls aways he's a blushing mess. Timmy will apologize and start rambling on about how he just found out that this was a possibility and that it makes sense. He always feels comfortable around Jimmy and once he realized two guys could be together, kissing Jimmy was the first thing that popped into his head. Timmy keeps talking for several minutes as Jimmy attempts to process everything, but Timmy will end up taking Jimmy's silence as a bad sign and try to leave. Jimmy's forced to grab Timmy's hand to make him stay and they then just sit in silence for several hours as Jimmy rearranges his thoughts (Timmy will eventually fall asleep on him as they just sit on the floor of the lab).

After that they start dating. Tootie and Remy have no idea until Jimmy shows up one day to pick up Timmy from school for a hang-out/date. Timmy is casually chatting with Tootie and Remy (as both of them continue to interrupt each others attempts to ask Timmy on a date), when Timmy suddenly breaks away from them and charges at a boy they'd never seen before (Jimmy) who just showed up at the school gate. Timmy tackle's Jimmy at top speed, nearly barreling him over as they hug and plants a big kiss on Jimmy's cheek. He waves goodbye to Tootie and Remy, who are just watching slack-jawed as Timmy walks away hand-in-hand with Jimmy. Tootie and Remy then form an alliance to take down Jimmy so they can go back to fighting for Timmy's affection.

[being-demisexual]

Hi! I was wondering how you knew you were Demi? I don't have much experience but I was thinking I might be Demisexual, I don't find anyone attractive like other girls my age do. Thanks!

*old man voice* it all started so many years ago…

Just kidding, but it did start when I was a junior in high school. I was kinda scrolling through tumblr, as one would do, and I saw that one of my friends (one that I actually knew in real life and had classes with) was posting asexual things. I got curious, so I tried looking things up. Now, I live in a fairly conservative town. Not that people are blatantly homophobic or anything, but it wasn’t diversity central either (we are aptly nicknamed Vanilla Valley), so I hadn’t had much exposure to the lgbt+ community beyond gay people and the vague idea of trans people. I got really confused about what I was seeing, so I asked my friend what the word asexual meant. Somehow, in the process of trying not to look like an insensitive asshole, I ended up on a website that had the different ace identities. The word demisexual was on there, but I largely ignored it, since my friend is sex-repulsed ace and that’s more what I was interested in learning about.

That was my first time seeing the word, but something must have struck a cord with me, since I ended up kind of toying around with the idea of being asexual in some capacity. I even mentioned that to my mom (she promptly told me I wasn’t allowed to be asexual). In the end, I kind of discarded that idea since I was aware that I wasn’t completely opposed to the idea of sex. Time skip to when I was a freshman in college (I’ll be a sophomore in the fall). 

I had a few friends that I would get dinner with after lab, both of whom were in a relationship. I asked them how they met their respective boyfriends, and the conversation turned too, of all things, some of the kink they tried. We were all laughing and stuff, but, I don’t know, I just felt off. I couldn’t get it out of my head. I got back to my room, pulled out my laptop, and googled the word demisexual. I read about some of the common demisexual experiences and I was a little shell shocked. I told myself not to panic, so I made a list. Ways I was demisexual and ways that I wasn’t. The way that I wasn’t had one item. The was the was had somewhere close to fifteen (fifteen that I was willing to admit at the time, at least). So I messaged a different friend on tumblr who mentioned that she was demisexual and asked her about it. We talked for a while, and something clicked with me. When I woke up the next morning, I dived into the tag and was sorely disappointed. I wasn’t “out” to anyone yet, so I couldn’t make any posts on my main blog. I decided that I needed a healthy outlet for some of feelings. so I created this blog. That was that.

Over the course of the next several months, I kept up a sort of informal diary. It is strictly related to the demi stuff and helps me organize my thoughts. In retrospect, I never acted like you would expect a straight person to act. There was a lot of posturing on my end so that I would appear “normal.” Looking back has only strengthened what I already know. 

Okay, like, one time, all these kids on the bus were asking if I was gay. Which my response was totally not “why are you even asking me that” and was more along the lines of “what??? No???? I totally love guys. I’m super into dick.” Which. Come on. A guy asked me out once and I panicked so bad I ran away from him. Clearly I was convince both myself and the other people. But also, I never made any moves on anyone regardless of gender. I was always joking about some fake boyfriend I had. Everyone knew it was fake, which was the funny part, but wouldn’t someone else just joke about their crush? Yeah, didn’t have one of those. The last true and proper crush I had was in sixth grade and one day I decided I didn’t want to have a crush, so I promptly stopped all my feelings. Again, not something that a totally straight person would do. Like? Who just wakes up and decides “yeah, not in the mood to have a crush anymore. I’m over this.” and just be done like that unless they’re ace and trying to force attraction that isn’t there? 

Just looking back, there are so many little moments that were clearly me being vibrantly asexual. So if you have any of those little moments where you just feel out of the loop or are trying to convince other people of your attraction, you’re probably ace or demi in some way. Personally, I don’t feel comfortable talking about sex unless I intitate the conversation. In the same vein, I don’t like seeing sex, or even kissing, on tv or in movies. And I only like reading about it if I feel the characters have a deep enough connection AND I have been thoroughly warned in advance about the content. I need time to prepare myself or it makes me real uncomfortable real fast. Maybe that happens to you. Maybe not. And anyway, your lack of experience could be an indicator of your ace-ness. I mean, I’m 19 and I haven’t ever gone on a date. Not for lack of opportunity, but more because I just never really had the drive beyond a vague, abstract idea about what a hypothetical boyfriend would be like. 

I would link you to the website I used, but it seems to be down at the moment. I have a resources tag if you wish to look through and see if that can be of any use to you. I hope my long, anecdotal story helped you! Good luck!

[totallyboatless]

I've been sitting with this post for a bit trying to decide if it's TMI. So warning at the top, I'm going to talk about my experience being demisexual, what's that meant for my relationship with sex, and how ofmd hits a particular note for me that other media hasn't quite been able to do.

I've been trying to figure out why ofmd makes my stomach flip consistently, even months later, even having engaged with the show as much as I have. It makes me feel romance in a particular way that destroys me. I've enjoyed other romance stories, there are definitely some that have made me melt, but nothing quite like this.

And I'm wondering if the reason it hits different has to do in part with being demisexual. My personal experience with that identity, I do enjoy sex, but it's on different levels. I've only been capital-a Attracted to maybe three people in my life. I've had sex with plenty of people I wasn't capital-a Attracted to, it's still fun, but it's ultimately a different experience. More neutral, more take it or leave it. Like "this was a good time, I don't regret this happening, but I also could have watched a movie and had a similarly good night."

But I'm realizing part of being demi might be the fact that sex, while enjoyable, isn't the thing that makes me feel that UMF the most. It's when I got a text from someone that they wanted to drive an hour to fall asleep next to me. It's when I've woken up with breath on the back of my neck from someone I couldn't wait to spend the day with. It's when someone stopped in the their tracks to kiss me because I said something that made them laugh. It's when someone I cared about kissed every one of my finger tips.

There was a sensuality to all of those things that lead to a more intense sex life with those people, but the sex was good because it was them, it was about my care for them. We could have been having sex literally any way and it would have felt the same to me. Because it's not really about the act for me, it's about closeness with someone who has my heart.

And ofmd has that feel written all over it. It feels like the people involved in this show understand how, for some of us, a foot touch can be just as sensual as getting naked with someone, and why a feather light kiss can be just as intense as having someone push you against a wall.

I think it's a misconception that people on the ace/gray-sexual spectrum don't experience deep stomach aching desire. I think we just experience it for different things sometimes.

I'd be interested to hear from other demi/ace/gray-sexual people on your thoughts and if you've had a similar experience. Feel free to hop in my asks if you wanna be anon.