#it's been incomplete for so long
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hehe i fixed my theme today ><
just ignore the games i haven't fixed them yet 💀 I HAVEN'T TOUCHED MOST OF THEM IN SO LONG T_T
#🌙.rambles#THERES MORE WIDGETS BUT#i'm rlly glad i finally got to fixing it#still incomplete but for like more than half a year some apps were just in the 4th yk n weren't fixed at all 😭#fixed some of the icons tho#some other games r in one of the other widgets not seen here#& i'm gna finally fix my notion soon too btw#n my lock screen is my wol 🥺 WAIT#i forgot abt this post midway making it so don't mind the times 💀#it's been incomplete for so long#i wanted to change my lock screen to smth more simple tho hehe#but the old one i had which was also of my wol is so iconic for me#realizing rn i barely use sm of my apps#rip duolingo. n sm of my games
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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.
but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)
mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…
the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.
every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.
first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic
which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.
which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.
the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.
walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?
well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.
you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?
it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.
when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.
and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.
kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.
yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.
#dungeon meshi spoilers#mithrun#dungeon meshi#this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme#half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is#someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality#his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though#he says he tried to see the worst in them.#hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on#wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore.#but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once#snakes#long post#severe problems#meshy
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Baldur's Gate 3 Companion!Tav Ask List
What if your Tav was a recruitable companion, instead of the main character? (contains major spoilers for the game, and for some dark urge runs as well)
General
Where can your Tav be recruited? Are they first encountered on the Nautiloid, or in the Nautiloid crash region? Or are they not recruitable until a later act?
Do the other companions have special comments or reactions upon recruiting your Tav?
Does your Tav have any comments or advice when you recruit other companions?
What sort of general actions raise or lower their approval?
Are there any instances where your Tav can permanently leave the party, depending on player character actions?
Do they have any secrets that can be revealed? What are the prerequisites for this secret coming to light?
Do they have their own personal quest that spans the course of the game? Can it take different branching paths depending on the choices the Player Character makes?
What do they say when the Player Character asks them to stay in camp? How about when the Player Character asks them to come adventuring again?
Does your Tav have any escalating conflicts with one of the other companions, like Lae’zel and Shadowheart’s knife-fight?
Are there any unique NPCs associated with your Tav that can show up during the course of the game?
Are there any moments in the game that trigger unique dialogue for your character? (Like Gale’s anecdote about the barfight after you save the goblin prisoner)
Story Specific
How does your Tav advise the player character when it comes to the Dream Visitor?
How do they advise the player character on Raphael?
How do they react to Astarion biting the Player Character?
How do they react to the Player Character letting Abdirak whip them?
How do they react to the Player Character taking their first tadpole power?
Will they stay with the Player Character regardless of siding with the goblins or the tieflings, or is it possible for them to leave the party permanently?
What can they be found doing at the tiefling/goblin party?
Do they have comments on who the Player Character chooses to spend the night with?
Do they have unique dialogue if the Player Character lets them die when they steal the Blood of Lathander?
How do they react if the PC licks the dead spider in the Gauntlet of Shar?
What do they say if the PC tries to force them to go up on stage with Dribbles the Clown?
Is it possible for your Tav to be kidnapped and replaced by Orin? How is Orin's deception revealed? How do they react to the PC rescuing them in the Temple of Bhaal?
How do they react to the PC either allowing Astarion to ascend or convincing him to spare the 7000 spawn?
How does Tav react to the PC becoming a mind flayer? Can they offer to become one themselves? Does their reaction change if they’re romanced?
How do they react when the Dark Urge first reveals their amnesia and murderous thoughts to them?
How do they react to the Dark Urge killing Alfira?
If romanced, how do they react to the Dark Urge trying to kill them in Act 2?
Romance
Is your Tav a romanceable character? Are there any specific requirements to romancing them?
Does your Tav need to be flirted with to start the romance, or will they approach the PC themselves if approval is high enough?
Are they a polyamorous or a monogamous option?
Do they have a special romance scene at the tiefling/goblin party?
Does the romance have different branching paths, or just one route to take?
How do they react to the player character breaking up with them, or choosing another character over them?
What questions can Zethino ask the PC about Tav in the Love Test?
If they’re poly, do they have a reaction to the PC engaging in a relationship with Halsin?
How do they react if the PC has sex with Mizora? The Emperor? Haarlep?
Will they join in with the PC and the Drow Twins, or no?
What are Tav’s plans for the future? Do they propose to the PC, or is marriage not something they’re interested in?
Free space! Share anything from your companion!Tav au!
#baldur's gate 3#bg3 spoilers#ask list#oc ask list#bg3 oc#bg3 tav#i've been thinking about this au for far too long now and i've written FAR too much about aurel w it#also i'm sure the durge portion of this is incomplete but i haven't gotten super far in my own durge playthrough yet so. bear with me#anyways. pls ask me about aurel im unwell abt him
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the !! them!!! and random serpentine that arent any existing one particular
#ninjago shipping#ninjago cole#ninjago geo#ninjago dragons rising#geodeshipping#lostshipping#i forgot what their other ship name is#need to stare at a pic of their kids because it feels so incomplete drawing just these two without them AGHH#these two look so good together and they are so. so shoujo#yk i wanna brainstorm about geo. he was in the lost realm because literally none of his fellow munce wanted him right#just cuz hes the colour of a geckle#sighh...but we didnt see him in master of the mountain so he was probably already in the lost realm by then!! amd then theres#bonzle and the kids#the kids i cant really assume how long theyve been there...probably post-merge cuz theyre well. kids...unless there are some really#neglectful parents in ninjago...which yk what isnt totally impossible#bonzle had been travelling around realms for a bit so i feel shes definitely been around the longest butttt...aggh idk its 6 am man#i find it a little funny cole ended up in the lost realm ppst-merge because he was quite literally forgotten once T.T destiny!!#teshfarts
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Quackity: These past days I've been in many calls, and I'm not done yet. I've spoken to a lot of people and creators. I've read your comments and I'm well aware of what needs to be done to carry out this project. I want to tell you all, beforehand, that for me the team's well-being is fundamental. I'm very involved in this topic to sort it out and I want to make that very clear. I want to tell you something... I want to tell you all that the administrative staff responsible for so much harm to the project has been fired. Specifically, those who made decisions without my permission, affecting the administrative and financial area of the project. Consequently, after this, I was in charge of doing a financial analysis that's carrying out for the QSMP.
Guys, to be really honest, it was not going to last. Therefore, I've had to make deep drastic structural changes that have lead me to reduce the performance of the server down to the most essential, and this is in order to ensure the well being of everyone involved in it. Having said this, I want to give a very important update: I want to let you all know that the QSMP will have to slow down temporarily. This is to ensure this new structure adapts to the project, because it's a restructuring that's taking place. I'm letting you know, and I reiterate, there are no voluntary positions inside the QSMP.
At the moment, there will not be any more individual update accounts of all 5 existing languages in the project. In any case, during this transition, there's going to be a temporal absence of all Eggs and NPCs. I know these are difficult changes, and I repeat, it's temporary until we adjust to these new conditions that will improve the performance of this new structure that's being made from scratch, both in the administrative and financial part. I'd like to reintegrate people fro the QSMP as time goes by if a financial viability can be found for the project Taking advantage of this update to tell you guys that within the changes of the server as it is, creators will have full control of their lore and stories. The team will not intervene in the way that it was being done. Moreover, efforts will be made to change the competitive dynamics inside the game so as to ease up the game style for the creators. Like I'm saying, all of these changes, and more, are being carrying out to have the project as best as possible, and they're being done little by little. This is a whole new structure that will ensure the best continuity and experience for the creators, the community and the team behind.
Guys, I want to make very clear that this is restructuring process, and again, it's not a fast one. The server being open does not mean everything's perfect, I understand that very well. Conversations will keep taking place, communication will continue and the constant improvement of the project as well. I ask, please, for everyone's patience and understanding regarding all changes. Please do wait for official announcements since a lot of incomplete and incorrect information is being spread. I want to tell you all something- if you don't trust in these changes or have many doubts about it, and don't want to consume any more of the project's content, I understand 100%. I have a personal commitment with the QSMP and I will work until it functions in the way it is supposed to do.
Lastly, I want to let you know that it was being worked on for months on finalizing the integration of Korean creators to the QSMP. For that reason, tomorrow we will be welcoming the new Korean creators of the QSMP, of course, taking into account all the changes I've just mentioned. I hope you can give the new Korean members warm welcome to the project. And as you know, their schedules are earlier. For everyone who would like to watch, they will be joining at 11am Mexico time and at 9am US time. Basically, I wanted to give that update regarding everything that's being done within the project. Again, thank you for your patience and understanding- these are necessary changes and I'm glad they're being done now. And many more things will keep being adjusted.
via @QuackitySubs
#Quackity#QSMP#QSMP Official#Translated#This is very long and I bolded parts to make it easier to read#but if there's a way to make it more accessible to folks lemme know!#I personally find the bolding thing helpful but I know everyone is different#Edit: got rid of the additional ''Quackity:'' bolded parts since that's unnecessary#since. you know. he's the only one speaking here#Quackity Subs also missed a few words in here so I added those in but otherwise this is exactly what was posted#Minus the part where they said ''fro''#I don't know if they meant for or from but that's a very vital difference so I'm leaving that as-is#IMO: It's reassuring hearing the full statement#''Please do wait for official announcements since a lot of incomplete and incorrect information is being spread''#is an especially important reminder#There has unfortunately been a lot of misinformation and catastrophizing / doomposting going around#I understand it's a very scary stressful time for many people#and it sucks being told to be patient#but we actually DO need to be patient if we want to get actual accurate information
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Art block is still kickin my ass, so take some liddol doodles I did with no thoughts head empty
Liddol iddi biddi Robbie- he was once a very grumpy lil young’in, but has grown to be a attention seekin lil man who will commit crimes for a mere lemon
#All my kids (except dr stone- he smells)#welcome home#Welcome home oc#robbie robs#lovelie robs#dusty bunny#Funfact#for a long time iv been trying to draw human Dusty (both mob and normal)#But for some reason I just couldn’t??#Still can’t btw NSHDH#So I have a bunch of incomplete doodles of him to rot away in my gallery#Til I inevitably clean it up smhhhhh
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Wait wait okay let me be clear here; so without Tempos Wonderwatch nearby she runs out of energy and mainly becomes unconscious (or worse presumably dead)? So is the like a whole entity, like all of her life is stored onto that watch??
(If it does mark as spoiler territory to you can always private the ask ^^)
Baia baia, interested, eh?
The WonderWatch is sealed with half of Alicia's Humanity ( Heart, Memory and Vital Energy). The watch cannot be separated from her, as it is like being separated from half of her identity and her physiological need, her life energy. Vital energy is what keeps a human being alive (also the Aura and the Soul), the farther the watch moves away from Tempo, the more she loses her vitality. The farther away, the worse for Tempo.
#ask#the stolen watch is in another space-time line#so Tempo was probably unconscious or incomplete#since she has her Soul Body and Aura.#deceased mmm... probably if she has been without her life energy for a long time 🤔.
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Karma
#dgm#d.gray-man#alma karma#when Hoshino created Alma it fundamentally Changed Me#happy pride w ur canon gay enby#I NEED A NENDRIOD NYEOW#JUST MAKE 2 MORE. GRAAHHHH#one of Allen with crown clown & I wld love his OG arm#and Alma pls pls god pls pls lets do another vote#THE KANDA NENDRIOD IS INCOMPLETE WITHOUT HIS GIRLFRIEND. HE NEEDS HIM#Idc call me cliche if i hit lotto I'm commissioning those YT sculpture gods to make me an Alma fig#i rlly wanted to caption this “Karma-dono/Lord Karma” since that's what the Finders say but its been so long since Finders were relevant...
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Ohhhh you wanna take this old oc quiz I made like a year ago sooooo baddd
#I kind of forgot I made this#I have so many more incomplete character quizzes sitting in my uquiz drafts#I wish they werent so annoyingly time consuming to make I always get impatient and fidgety making them then give up or just wander off#which is too bad bc theyre very fun to take#especially when its been long enough that you no longer remember what you wrote for it#anyways uhh#you wanna do this one soooo bad#birds rambles#birds ocs#uquiz#oc#quiz
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To those of you wondering (aka no one), I finished both The Vampire Armand and Merrick and I have a lot of thoughts and feels. I'm skipping Blood and Gold for now to go directly to Blackwood Farm (I'll read B&G later), but first I'm going to read something else, just to take a break.
TVA thoughts: man, Armand is messed up. And extremely compelling. But so messed up. As always, the theme of faith crisis, which seriously reaches new heights with these bitchy vampires, is not something I can fully immerse myself in, but it was fascinating to see his numerous metamorphosis. I liked how he bridges Western and Eastern Christianisme, especially through art. Now I'm thinking that if Rolin Jones makes him originally Muslim in the show, that could expand even more the conversation on how faith, and especially Abrahamic faith, has been in conversation for thousands of years and could be such a rich, diverse and spiritual, intellectual and artistic theme. I can already imagine some fascinating discussions comparing (not in a superior way but in a complementary way) coming from Muslim faith to Roman Catholic faith, the way book!Armand talks about the richness of his life in Kiev Rus despite the poverty and ascetism, and the richness of his life in Venecia despite the luxury and abundance.
As for Benamin and Sybille... I don't have much thoughts about them. Sybille is one of those female characters AR seemingly favors, not so much human as a nymph or a dryad, "perfectly splendid". And Benji is a caricature of an Arab child. Nuance? 401 not found.
Merrick thoughts: David for the love if everything, shut. The. Fuck. Up. Holy moly. I like David, I do, but damn the entire recollection of his history with Merrick was looooooong. I'm here to see Louis haunted by Claudia and haunting Lestat's coma, not how hard you're pining for the kid you practically raised! Also. ALSO. You're just going to leave that whole thing with the Olmec or possibly another more ancient Mesoamerican civilisation without ever giving us more? That was the most interesting part of it all! The vodoo history, the connection between Louisiana and Caribbean vodoo and old Native South-American religions! More about this, less about Merrick's perfect breasts, I am begging you. (It is at this point that the reader of this post realises OP is 100% definitely ace and more interested in books and witchcraft than breasts and whether a 70yo man can still get it up - also, hey, Anne Rice's vampires are practically asexual and their lust and pleasure is mostly derivated from blood, with some notable exceptions like Armand and Marius, and a love relationship between two vampires is then based on romantic love and blood sharing, so can I hear a hell yeah for some ace representation or are we still conflating eroticism with sex)
Another thing I kept thinking about throughout the book is how Louis is perceived by his fellow vampires. Since basically the second book, since we've lost his own POV, everybody who's ever said anything about him (so Lestat, Armand and David) have insisted on two points: how very weak and meek Louis is, and also how irresistible, beautiful and charming. Granted, I've known Louis first through his portrayal on the show (hi Jacob you're so fiiiiiiine), and then through his own narration in the first book, but I've never had the impression that he was weak. Beautiful and seductive, yes. Weak? I see a human man going through tragedies and still enduring, going through vampiric transformation and then suffering for decades the loss of his humanity, struggling with reconciliating both sides of himself, but mostly I see a vampire who rebuilt himself after losing everything without sacrificing his sense of self. I see Louis as very strong actually (up to the point where resilience breaks, because resilience cannot be sustained on a long term, but that's another debate). He knows who he is, and don't you know how hard that is? He doesn't cling to faith or pride. He knows he's doomed, he knows he's monstrous, he knows there's nothing he can do to change that, and instead of railing against his fate, he goes on about his undead life. He gets his books and he reads them, he surrounds himself with literature and what little comforts he thinks in his shattered self-esteem he deserves (his ragged sweaters and soft trousers); let's not lie to ourselves tho, Louis doesn't like himself, or more exactly he doesn't care about his corporeal body - what matters to him is his mind, and once again, this author is extremely ace and also very aro and very nonbinary, so Louis to me is very much ace and agender coded, though really not aro, because his love for Lestat (and sometimes his fondness, shall we say, for Armand) is the only thing that can rouse him up from his literary slumber.
...
Oh, man, I have a lot to say about Louis, for how little he appears in the books so far. Still have BF, BC and the PL trilogy to devour. So I guess you can say, for as much as Lestat is occupying my entire brain, very much like him, my favorite is Louis? Yeah, that tracks. Melancholy, quiet, dark-haired green-eyed monster with more humanity than humans, preferring his solitude and the company of books to anyone else, hopelessly and helplessly devoted to one person, expert in brooding and grieving, literature specialist, not very attached to his physical self. Yeah. I'm not surprised.
#rapha talks#rapha reads#anne rice#the vampire chronicles#the vampire armand#merrick#vc books#armand de romanus#david talbot#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#books#literature#book review#wow that got long#wasn't expecting to write that much i just wanted to write a couple of lines about each book so i could move on to the next#but apparently i have a lot to say about louis in particular#i mean - vampires have been making me extremely verbose since i was 12#so no wonder *the* vampire books of the last half-century are making me go insane#anyway - i'm going to read a couple of fanfics i've noticed maybe finish watching the bear s3 clear my mind a bit#and then i'll dive right back in with blackwood farm#by the way i totally encourage fic recs and also discussions of my thoughts (how flawed and incomplete my perceptions of these characters?)#(obviously over 40 years of existence and adoration of these books so much has been said and written and i would love to discuss it with#people who have read and studied and loved these books in much more depth than i)
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i thinkk that a huge part of why im so deeply unhappy is bc im a girl who is supposed to and needs to have a girl bestie - my other half. ever since i was a kid i've always had a girl friend who was my other half and who i talked to and hung out with every single day. now when i dont have that, and when it's also been 6 years since my last friendship like that, i feel profoundly lost and alone. i need another woman close to me who i love and can anchor myself in. who is my compass, my stars, my solid ground. lacking the love, support, comfort, loyalty and security of a strong and forceful love and friendship with another woman, i feel incomplete and lonely and unhappy. like something fundamentally important to the essence of my being is missing. and it completely messes with me on every level of my life.
#u can blab on abt 'u need to feel complete withing urself' blah blah fkn blah#idc and i think you're wrong bc every person is different#we and our brains work in different way#ways*#regardless if you wanna sit there and say uhhh this is wrong! this is bad! this is unhealthy!#yeah blah blah it doesnt matter what you say or think. things just are the wY they are#and i dont give a single flying fuck if i 'should' learn how to cope blab blahhhhh#i WANT and NEED a female friend like this in my life#and as long as i dont have one i am incomplete. even if some ppl wanna whine abt how toxic that is#i am not complete by myself and can only be completed with a woman who im bffs with#it's like somewhere between besties and lovers. bc even if theres some sort of homoerotic energy#i dont want nor need it to be romantical love bc thats not strong enough and idk#idk i cant explain but it's just that very highly specific friendship women can have w eo#im made for that. i need that.#i've been thinking abt my past life and friends a lot lately#and i just realized this today#there has been gaps before but most of my life i've had a close girl bestie like this#last time was 6yrs ago after high school#and since then it's been so bad. im deeply unhappy without that bond in my life
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confessions, kanae minato (trans. stephen snyder)
(credits: bleacher report / john russell / sportsnet / bruce bennett / espn / christian petersen / edmonton journal / andy devlin / nhl / derek leung / tsn / derek leung)
#kinda incomplete and i truly hate the formatting on this but it’s been sitting in my drafts for too long so go and be free ig#also after scrolling through so many getty images pages i fear i understand the mcdavo-is-hot crowd now#connor mcdavid#edmonton oilers#mere.png#poetry post
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Rat Grinders:Don’t do anything to the Bad Kids until antagonized, and it’s later revealed that their bad actions were a result of being groomed by one of their teachers for years and then murdered and possessed.
Intrepid Heroes:Fuck you, sending you to hell and you can’t be revived.
#I love the Intrepid Heroes#but I feel like they’ve been confirmation biasing their way into dealing the Rat Grinders#just because Kipperlilly was a little bitchy after their response to her calmly introducing hersel was to be racist towards her#I love this season but it really is starting to feel like the season of missed points and lost potential#the bits are amazing#the fights are amazing#the NPCs are amazing#and the Intrepid Heroes are at the top of their game!#but I feel like they’ve repeatedly sacrificed the long term quality of the plot for bits and running gags#and in normal dnd that’s fine of course!#but this is a serialized tv show that you’re making for profit#idk if this made sense#but yeah#still one of my top seasons of D20#but the Rat Grinders especially have so much potential that has been missed#just for a running gag about how they suck#this is not meant to be hate btw! just constructive criticism of the show#I feel like the moment it all started missing for me was when Kristin signed up to be president#that whole scene just reeks of missed potential#Riz’ entire arc feels incomplete without it#same with Kipperlilly#and the whole mirror match thing is thrown off entirely#also Kristin being focused on the presidency means we lose out on a lot of her religion building arc#and her need to take on actual responsibility and do the “uncool shit#I love the season characters and players so much#but I can feel lighting in a bottle waiting just around the corner and I’m sad we missed it#dimension 20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#d20
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Pro tip for any fantasy still recovering from the reality of this whole sf8 situation: what you DONT want to do is turn on YouTube at 4am and watch their entire Kpop Nation Warsaw performance, followed up by the music show performances of the songs they sang, and finish up by watching the video where they get their first win.
Consequence: Bawling your eyes out over a bowl of Count Chocula
No, I don't speak from experience. Absolutely not...Just giving sound advice.
#imma be honest#watching/listening to scream was so easy#but any other song#OOF#Without fail every single time I was like#oh that's Rowoon's part :(#and this isn't a knock to the other members at all#taeyang & dawon covered most of his parts and they did it so well!!#sf9 is one of the few groups where each member is so special & talented & integral to the group#yet if members are missing the other members have no issue filling in the gap#like they make u FORGET there is a gap like if I've never heard of sf9 & saw them perform I wouldn't think they were incomplete at all#like idk why it makes me so emotional cuz I went thru scream era fine & saw the delight tour and was SO FINE#like during that concert was I thinking boo hoo this would be so much better with rowoon here? NO!#I SAW THE 6 MEMBERS IN FRONT OF ME & IT WAS THE MOST PERFECT EXPERIENCE & I HAD NO ONE ELSE IN MY MIND#but in the back of my head I was like NEXT TIME they'll be complete...but ig now I don't have that to cling to#was it a bad idea to put myself thru that? probably#but I WILL be streaming their fancon & binseong will be back & idc that they won't see me#but I will not be a sobbing mess crying over a member who's not there anymore when 2 members who've been gone for so long just came back#that sounds harsh but its the truth so I needed to warm up#anyway buy ur tickets to fandora!!#sf9#youngbin#inseong#jaeyoon#dawon#rowoon#zuho#taeyang#hwiyoung#chani
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god I just fucking love Tuvok. the wife guy ever
#graaaah ive been thinking about tuvok and t'pel#with the headcanon that their love is like. 'i want you. i want to be you' progressing to 'i am you and you are me'#'they are a part of my identity. without them i am incomplete'#^ ik he said that about his kids but it FITS.#lbr theyre not really emotional (like actually. they dont just suppress they genuinely process and try not to feel) so the way they love#is SO tied to their identity. you have a bond with your family and without them you are incomplete#i do also headcanon that tuvok and his wife are really similar#just like. in mannerisms etc#just because they were married for SO long. and post voyager either tuvok grows his hair out or tpel cuts it short#and at home they dont even really need to talk to communicate...theyre just that close#vulcans are touch telepaths and they are 'never and always touching and touched'#gddamnit this is getting to me. i just love tuvok a lot#btw dont ask me how that headcanon ties into spock. it does in some sort of human way#but also spock has some fucking issues and i think his love is more actually emotional#he does the 'suppress suppress suppress' thing and thinks its normal. its not#most vulcans genuinely are fulfilled by following logic methinks. and their love is logical and tied to identity (not feelings!)#tuvok also has Some Fucking issues but like..its different#star trek#voyager#star trek voyager#commander tuvok
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Of deities and immortals
Vajra as Great Old One of Chaos
I've been thinking about how godhood and immortality works in the SE universe (and how can I use the lack of stablished rules to my evil motives).
Today I want to talk to you about the Great Old Ones an my headcanons about them.
So, based in the manga and the anime, the Eight Shinigami Legions are the same thing as the Great Old Ones. They were chosen as Lord Death companions for a reason, they were incredibly powerful and, somehow, almost everyone ended up being a being closer to a eldritch deity than a human.
Except the ones who Asura ate of course.
So
G. O. O. of Order: Shinigami
Fear: Asura
Power: the octopus
Wrath/Rage: Excalibur
Knowledge: Eibon
Also, there isn't a lot of clarity about Vajra being only Asura's partner or if he was an oficial member of the eight, but I consider him as one since I think that he should have been an already powerful and skilled weapon to be Asura's weapon, plus he probably was from the very first weapons ever so I think he might have ended as a Great Old One too if it wasn't for Asura eating him.
And to me Vajra could have embodied the Chaos. Let me explain.
Since we don't have a lot about Vajra, we're gonna stick with my interpretation of him, which is based in my own HC and all the info I have absorbed from friends and Tumblr users who have their own versions of Vajra.
The Great Old Ones are inherently tied to madness, showing us that madness itself isn't inherently wrong, but the specific kind of madness and the way people choose to use it is what makes it dangerous.
In the case of the madness of fear (Asura), it enhanced the primal responses "fight or fly" (sorry if I'm using that wrong but i hope you'll get the point), making people a risk to themselves and to others.
People have a natural inclination to certain types of madness, but if there's a specific wavelength acting over them, that natural inclination can change or be mixed, like Stein
Even if we don't get a canon answer of what kind of madness he primarily had (putting aside that "madness" can be an allegory for mental illness and/or neurodivergency), I think that his madness at the start of the story was more atune to Madness of knowledge (Eibon), but the influence of Asura and Medusa's snakes made him switch to a combination of that and the madness of fear. We can see how his "disect this, vivisec that" behavior was strongly inclined to a "let's do it for science" attitude, but after Asura's resurrection it was more tinted with the violent impulses of harming someone, which Stein himself reconogized as something unusual and way out of his control.
So, coming back to Vajra.
The behavior that Asura shows himself is of pure fear. He's terrorized of being near another being and never initiated combat. It was always defending himself or his crazy (unwanted) followers trying to provoke Shibusen. Yeah, he's like "I'm gonna destroy your order, Shinigami-sama" and all that but he doesn't really try to attack anyone directly, the boy is a fucking coward (affectionate).
And ok, I've said that madness can cause different reactions, but I don't think that every one of his followers shared the same unicellular brain, with the same response to fear so... How resulted in everyone being so chaotic and violent under Asura's influence?
Well... Because Asura's wavelength isn't entirely his.
Asura has 2 souls inside him. His own soul and the remaining of Vajra's.
When Asura ate him, he was probably still alive.
I have the headcanon that some weapons can live longer if they're in their weapon form, and if they get injured in human form they can turn into weapons until they can get medical care or the injury heals (but this require a lot of practice and a somewhat strong soul).
Vajra probably survived for a long time inside Asura that way, and when Lord Death sealed them in Asura's skin he was slowly losing his humanity and the ability to turn back to his human form and even the ability to communicate to Asura through their soul resonance, but their souls were still connected in some way, so, the Madness that emanated from Asura was both, Fear and Chaos.
#if you feel like this post is incomplete it's because it is#but I've been struggling with this for a long time so i need to post it#let me know what you think#soul eater#asura#vajra soul eater
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