#it's been awesome meeting you and I hope we have another great year of friendship ahead!!!
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I posted 1,942 times in 2022
That's 1,942 more posts than 2021!
355 posts created (18%)
1,587 posts reblogged (82%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@chilikit
@secretsinthevoid
@eleilinnrallin
@moony4pads
@thatfaecreaturee
I tagged 1,500 of my posts in 2022
Only 23% of my posts had no tags
#reblog - 202 posts
#mutuals - 105 posts
#answered asks - 81 posts
#thatfaecreaturee - 64 posts
#queer - 60 posts
#signed in ink - 53 posts
#the ink answers - 45 posts
#yes - 43 posts
#<3 - 38 posts
#tumblr trick or treat - 37 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#also i was trying to write this story and i was going to push the coming out until like five chapters in and no it happened like right away
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Sister: "Don't date your friends, you're not going to be able to stay friends after you break up"
Me, a demiromantic:
61 notes - Posted July 11, 2022
#4
this is kind of a half-baked thought but here we go
there's this thing commonly said in the trans community of "we didn't pick our genders, this is just the way we are"
yes, this is true
however, I do want to bring attention to the idea that perhaps it isn't true 100% of the time. And for those people, whoever they may be, who maybe don't feel as if they were always trans, you're valid too in whatever gender you choose to be!
I think that saying we were born this way is how we kind of argue against transphobes and people saying that we're just confused or we don't know what we're talking about. And for so many of us, it's true! personally, yes, I feel as though I was never a woman but have always been something else but hadn't yet figured that out. (which is why I feel weird saying I discovered I was nonbinary because yes that is the true but in a way I've always been nonbinary. that's a talk for another day though)
But as I've thought about it, I've come to the conclusion that in any other timeline, when placed with the option to be a cis woman, I would choose to be nonbinary every time.
And not everyone would.
And that's okay! We're all different! Being trans/nonbinary is a struggle. It's isolating and sometimes feels hopeless and it's frankly just a lot to deal with. And everyone deals with it in different levels and different situations.
So I believe that not all trans people are born this way. AND THAT'S OKAY. They are every bit as valid as any other trans person, or any other person in general! And people who were born this way? Also valid!
Whatever reason someone may feel as if their gender switched, maybe it's trauma, maybe it's preference changing over time, maybe it's just something random and not completely understood, it doesn't matter.
I think they should be recognized and included just the same as anyone else.
-- I haven't ever actually met someone who has told me that they don't feel as if they were trans their entire life. However, if someone can change sexuality over time, then why shouldn't it be possible for someone's gender to change over time as well? I understand that there are a lot of differences in how sexuality and gender evolve, but there are also a lot of similarities.
Just something to think about.
64 notes - Posted August 25, 2022
#3
Here is the longer version of the thunderstorm for anyone who wants it!
71 notes - Posted August 3, 2022
#2
oops I made another one
Aromantics:
and another one
See the full post
79 notes - Posted September 8, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Alrighty folks, you know the drill.
I found another picrew
tagging! @earthtokit @gemstarstarlight @venusqq @thatfaecreaturee @jinxneedssleep @eleilinnrallin (if you're into this sort of thing!) @quinnick @chaserofstarsandtheabyss @secretsinthevoid @lilywolfgray @elumax-archive @ringnea (ONE DAY YOU HAVE TO SUBMIT TO MY WILL AND DO ONE OF THESE)
547 notes - Posted October 6, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#the picrew thing BLEW UP#like it was dead for ages#and then suddenly I was getitng like 20-50 notes for it per day#it was wild#I think it's died again#fortunately#there were too many I couldn't look at them all#it's a very cute picrew I understand#also Fae I tagged you a LOT apparently#like wow#I also find it funny that the reblog tag has so many cause I used to tag things I reblogged with it but I haven't done that in months#I really want to go through all my posts and tag them at last#but I don't have the energy...#ANYWAY THANKS FRIENDS FOR BEING MY MUTUALS!!!#it's been awesome meeting you and I hope we have another great year of friendship ahead!!!#<3 <3#<3
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There is Karma [Chapter 2]
Masterlist
Chapter 1, Chapter 3
It had been a few days since your volunteering, you were in group chat with the rest of the volunteers, you clicked on Yoongi’s picture and added his number to your contacts. You have been seriously considering messaging him, but you don’t want to seem crazy, and if you do message him, what will you even say? Things are getting busy at work as the fiscal year is coming to an end, you decide it’s best not to say anything for now.
Ding
You heard your phone, but you were in an online meeting with your stakeholders from Japan, you couldn’t check your phone immediately.
Ding
Ding
Ding
Ding
You were curious who was sending you all these messages, nobody messaged you like this. The meeting had another 5 minutes, you thanked God that the Japanese were strict on time, meaning this meeting will actually end in 5 minutes.
Finally, you had the chance to check your phone.
You have been added to a group chat.
You saw that Sora had made a separate group chat from the main chat, with you, Yoongi, Yeonjun and herself.
Sora: So guys, I made this chat, maybe we can volunteer again as a team, there’s many opportunities posted on the main chat, let me know if anything interests anyone
‘Yeonjun Set the name of the group chat to Dream Team ☆’
Yoongi: Sure.
Yeonjun: How about we all volunteer at the Hope orphanage this coming Sunday?
Nobody had responded, Sunday was one of your free days.
You: Yes, sounds great, what time?
Yeonjun: Awesome, 11:30am
Yeonjun: Sora? Yoongi?
You could see double blue ticks on your message, Yoongi had read it, why wasn’t he replying, you were starting to feel a little anxious, hoping he would agree.
Sora: Yes, I’ll see you guys there!!! Sooo excited!!
You felt a little relaxed, your new friend Sora will be there at least, you reacted with a thumbs up on her message and put your phone down to focus on your work.
A few hours had passed, it was almost 6pm, you normally left work around 6:30pm, since you were feeling a little peckish you decided to leave a little earlier, to grab something to eat before you called it a day.
You opened the group chat, still no response from Yoongi. Just then as on cue:
Yoongi: I am busy in the morning, but I can join at 12:30pm.
A smile plastered your face as you were exiting your office building.
Finally it was D-day, you’ll get to see Yoongi today. You got dressed in mid-length pale pink pleated skirt, a white shirt, white trainers and a pale pink cardigan, it was a little chilly today. You did your hair and makeup, then messaged Sora that you are on your way.
When you arrived, Sora was already in the parking lot.
“_____! You’re here! Yeonjun is going to be little late, we’ll go first?”
You exchanged your greetings, it was nice to always see Sora being cheerful, you never really had friend like her, she was sweet, kind, and genuine. On the contrary, you were never genuine, you didn’t care about others in the past, you used to be self-centred hence having no friendships for many years until you met Sora.
You were preparing a snacks table for the children; Sora was decorating the room with bunting and balloons.
“Do you like Yoongi?” she asked out of the blue.
You almost chocked on air, eyes wide, like a deer caught in headlights. Sora chuckled at your reaction, wiggling her eyebrows, expecting an answer.
“Umm, I do find him interesting, is it that obvious?” you tamely asked.
She laughed, “Of course not, I just had a feeling, I specifically made the group chat to bring you guys closer, you guys look so cute together, even Yeonjun thinks the same!”
You were flabbergasted and giddy at the same time, unable to contain your smile.
Sora patted your back and winked, “I’ll be your cupid, don’t you worry _____.”
It was now 12pm Yeonjun had just arrived and got to work, he kept the children entertained with his storytelling, as you and Sora made some final touches.
It was 12:20pm, you heard the door open and saw Yoongi walk in, instinctively you smiled and waved at him, he smiled back with a wink, making your heart skip a beat.
Yeonjun’s story had ended, the children were quietly sat in the library room, Yoongi asked them to follow his instruction, and surprisingly they were listening, he led them to the room where you and Sora had prepared the snacks and decorations. It was heart-warming to see them smile jumping around in excitement. They enjoyed the snacks as the 4 of you and the 2 caretakers helped to serve snack and drinks to them. After the children were done, some of them had made a little mess, Yoongi swiftly grabbed tissues and wet wipes, cleaning them, you joined in to help.
It was nice spending the afternoon with the children, you could see that multiple times Yeonjun and Sora purposely put you and Yoongi together to complete tasks, not that you minded, it was just so funny that being adults they were still pulling the high school tricks, nevertheless you were thankful as you got to learn more about Yoongi.
Yoongi liked oranges, his favourite perfume scent was bergamot, and he owned a chain of cafes under his family’s business ‘Min Corperation’, you were aware of the business but just never had the chance to work with them in the past.
Your week started off boring, it was 2pm, you decided to message Yoongi. It’s not weird to ask him out for a coffee, he does have a chain of cafes… you pull out your phone.
Hello Yoongi, would you be free…
No, it was too formal, you erased the text.
Hey Yoongi, would you be up for coffee sometime this week?
Sent.
Your heart was beating a little faster and harder, you anxiously stared at your text, it seemed fine but why were your ears burning up, you reluctantly put down your phone, screen facing down. It’s not like Yoongi will reply straight away.
You tried to focus on your work, you had to win this contract you’ve been working on for weeks, you had to prove to your father that you were worthy of taking on his company, not your half-brother Kim Taehyung.
Taehyung your older half-brother, the golden child of your stepmother, of course he would be because he was her own blood and flesh. Whereas you were a side product of your father’s extramarital affair. Your stepmother made it clear from day one she disliked you; your father was absent for the most of your childhood, you had various nannies who took care of you over the years until you were capable of taking care of yourself. You had sworn to impress your father and outshine Kim Taehyung, the bane of your existence.
Buzz buzz.
You raised your head and looked at your phone, it was ringing, it was Yoongi!
You picked up “Hello?”
“Hey ____ how are you?”
“Good, you?”
“Good good, I was wondering instead of going out, would you like to help me out with something?”
Your heart at this point was racing, you’re sure he could hear it through the phone.
“You still there?” Yoongi asked, showing a hint of concern.
“Yes, I’m here, sorry, help you with what?”
“I have new coffee roast blends, they just arrived today, I need to pick out the best one, for our winter toffee lattes, help me decide the which one to sell?”
“Of course, I’d love to!” you exclaimed, you internally slapped yourself, you sounded like you were five.
Yoongi chuckled, “Great I’ll text you my address be there for 7 yeah?”
“Yup see ya at 7” you quickly hung up and grabbed your water bottle.
Woah that was more difficult than trying to negotiate with your clients. It was 4:30pm, you decided to leave at 5pm, get dressed and leave your apartment by 6, to be at Yoongi’s place by 7pm.
Your door flew open, and walked in Kim Taehyung, why did he have to be here to ruin your mood.
“Dad want’s analysis done on the future potential partnerships, do it by the end of tonight.”
He threw the file of papers on your desk.
“No.”
Taehyung turned back to look at you with disgust.
“What do you mean, no? How dare you, you filthy little b-”
“Taehyung, I said no, I can’t do this plus it’s your side of the business” you cut him off.
He walked over to you, placing both his hand on your desk and lowering himself to your sitting level.
“Okay, I was going to tell you a little secret after you did this as a reward, so you wouldn’t be too shocked my dear little sister.” He looked soullessly into your eyes.
You were starting to feel anxious and fidgety, Taehyung never had good news.
“Fine I’ll do for Friday if you tell me what secret” you bargained.
“No-uh has to be done tonight.”
“Tae I really can’t do it for tonight”.
“It’s Taehyung for you, not just Tae, and fine, do it by tomorrow afternoon.”
“Fine. Tell me the secret first!”
“Work first”
“I will do it, I promise, can’t you just let me know?”
He was enjoying this a lot; you could see how he was trying to hide his smirk.
“Dad is getting you married to his best friend and business partners one and only son, Park Jimin.”
You were too shocked to even respond, how could your father do this to you, he knew what sort of a person Jimin was, everyone did.
“Bye sister!” Taehyung yelled as he slammed your door shut.
It was almost 5, Yoongi, that’s right, you had to leave to meet Yoongi on time, you can worry about Jimin later, for all you know this could be one of Taehyung’s sick pranks.
Chapter 3
#agust d#suga#bts#yoongi#suga x reader#suga fanfic#suga smut#suga fluff#yoongi x reader#yoongi fanfic#yoongi fluff#yoongi smut#yoongi angst#suga angst
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Why Friendship Is A Blessing From God.
Hey Everyone how are you all doing Tonight ? I would like to talk about something that i think is really awesome something that i have
talked about before because it is very Important and that is Friendship now i know that i have talked about Friendship a lot on my
blog but i just feel that it is a very Good Blessing by God and i think that it can be very Lonely if you do not have friends and if you do not
have a Friend then pray for a Friend and not just that but ask God to make you someone"s Friend and to ask God to bless the Friendship
and to keep the Friendship strong the Bible says in Proverbs 17;17 A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
and i think that Friendship is a Good Blessing from God Because it reminds us of the kind of Love that God has for Us Because he is and
will always be there for us but he also Gives Friends to help us along in life he gives us friends to remind us about him he gives us friends
to remind us that we are not alone he gives friends to help encourage us and give us hope for days ahead and most of all he gives us
friends to serve him with and i think that people need to know that it is okay to ask for help from our Friends that we do not have to deal
with things alone and we do not have handle things as if there is no help available because there is of Course we have God and we always
will and God is our Father and he Loves us dearly he Loves us more then anyone ever could but i think he gave us friends for a reason i
think he wanted us to have Community because he did not want us to feel alone and he wanted us to feel the Joy of Godly Friends just as
he had when he walked on the Earth and i think he really cared about Paul in Acts 18;27 when he sent him Priscilla and Aquila because he
wanted Paul to have people to serve with and he did not want him to walk alone and he dose not want you to walk alone either I
Remember when i was Little and My Friend Moved away i was so Lonely and i was feeling so alone i did not meet or have another
friend that was Outside of my Family that is until i was 19 years old and so i prayed and prayed and asked God i cried out to God for
years about wanting a Friend and i was Blessed On December 23 2019 with a Friend who Loved God and i want you to know that if you
have been praying for a Friend or if you have felt alone please do not give up please know that God Loves You and God Hears your Prayers
and he cares for you always and Forever and he dose hear you Prayers that i know for sure so please do not Give Up keep Praying
for that Friend Because God will answer your Prayer and he can and will Give you a real and True Friend that is something i know for sure i
know that it can be hard to wait and i know that it can be hard to understand why you have to wait but i also know that God Loves You
and he can and will answer your Prayer Just like he answered Mine so please keep trusting in God and keep praying because God can Give
you a real and true Friend and he will be there with you the whole time so your Never alone well Thanks for reading i hope this Blog
post Helps you to keep praying and to keep trusting in God for everything knowing that he has not left you and he will Never Leave
you ever well Thanks for reading have a Great Night May God Bless You.
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Hey!! I hope you're having a good day/night.
This is going to sound really funny but I just realized I know you from wattpad!! From a long time ago, when the site was still my main one and then I moved to tumblr and ao3 and found you here too but I just realized you're the same person!
I'm so sorry it's just too funny for my right now.
I absolutely adore all your fics, I don't know how to live without them. The one you have ongoing with Raph being kidnapped it's too good and all your drabbles here are just amazing.
Do you think we can become friends ? I just admire you so much!
(P.S. I absolutely love the game you're starting!)
Alright. I’ve reread this five consecutive times already. Should probably share now…
HIYA! That’s so awesome. I love stalking authors and artists, so it’s not often I stumble upon them accidentally. 🤣
It’s absolutely crazy that there’s someone out there that can honestly make a sincere comment like “I don’t know how to live without your fics” and I’m just, Yes, you absolutely do, you did it for years before you even knew I existed wtshell???
It’s so cool to just be existing and someone pops up like: I’VE READ YOUR STUFF AND IT’S GREAT
Then I’m always FLOORED bc my silly brain forgets how much impact fanfic stuff can have on a person. People like me who go coasting for stories and find one that fits our specific needs and then just gush over it because I never knew how much I needed this author’s perspective of the boys in my life. 💞💞
My stories are the kinda stuff I would be thrilled to stumble upon, which is exactly why I write it. Especially Leo&Donnie content! There’s not nearly enough of them in canon or fanworks or fanart- DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND PLATONIC LEO AND DONNIE FANART???
…I got derailed by my own mind. So. Um. I was making a point about writing-
Oh, yeah, I basically live to make sure that if there’s another soul out there who feels there are gaps in certain areas of content- I will be there to help fill it! Especially recently, everything surrounding 2012Donnie is either content that is far from platonic, or isn’t hurt/fluffy in the ways my heart desires.
I am starving and must fill my own needs. Always happy to do the same with the others I stumble across!
Does It Almost Feel Like Nothing Change At All? is my first try at a plot-centered, but still traumtic fanfic. I love those kinds of stories and I figured it’s time I give it a try.
Plus, Raph is in a similar boat to Donnie. He just doesn’t get enough attention in the instances that I crave. Everything lately is about his ‘secret depression’ or his love life, or so it feels to me.
SO I FIXED IT!
This fic will include a little bit of everything so that his pain can be deeply and horrifically scarring. Because he’s such a good boi <3
Not sure if you’ve found it yet, but I have an A03 with more content that’s not available on Wattpad. Link
Sure! I practically consider everyone who interacts with me often on Tumblr or leaves consistent comments on A03 to be a friend on some level.
As long as you’re able to tolerate long rants about turtles, an unhealthy obsession with the underrated bond between the cool colored bros, and someone who just doesn’t know how to stop writing- then welcome to a friendship that will never stray beyond the realm of turtles until we meet in person!
You’ve already been around for quite some time! Who am I to dismiss a 2012 turtlefan with obviously awesome taste in content?
#ImagionationStation’s Ficlets#feral raphie au#teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012#tmnt donnie 2012#tmnt leo 2012#imagionationstation#wattpad author#a03 writer#fanfic writer
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003: Alyx!
• I think she’s awesome! She’s so brave, smart, funny… I look up to her a lot, especially for her boundless optimism. The fact that she was brought up in a dystopian hellscape and still has so much care in her is so important to me…
• You!!! Yes, you, Omega! I think your selfship with her is adorable and she loves you so much :D
• You have got me positively obsessed with queerplatonic Freemance. Alyx cares about Gordon so much and they trust one another with their lives and the fact that Gordon was willing to bind his very existence to hers through the Vortessence just to save her life is so powerful, I hope they get their happy ending together and get to rebuild their lives… also I love how good of a dad Eli is to her, he obviously loves her so much and wants her to be safe but also respects her independence as an adult who can take care of herself… and, of course, her warming up to the G-Man after he took care of her as a child from the background when no one else physically could is SO important to me. I love how she shows platonic and familial affection in general, she’s just such a genuine and affectionate person.
• I’m not sure if I really have any, other than that I actually really like her HLA voice actress! I think Ozioma Akagha did a great job portraying her, obviously it sounds different but this being the same character but 5 years younger is definitely reasonable. I think the reason most people complain is just because ‘it’s not Merle’, or at the very least ‘it’s too different’ rather than any actual criticisms of Akagha’s voice performance.
• ALYX–AZIAN REUNION ALYX–AZIAN REUNION ALYX–AZIAN REUNION. I know it won’t happen but I can dream, aside from the fact that Azzi deserves better than to be fridges, Alyx also deserves to see her mom again after everything she’s been through…
• Of the friendships I haven’t covered yet, I also really like the idea of her and Barney’s dynamic. I like the idea of her and Barney having met a few times when Alyx was younger (I imagine he probably taught her how to shoot) but Barney was usually too busy with his Civil Protection duties for them to really become close, but they’d definitely get a lot closer over the plot of hl2. I like how sarcastic Barney is about things and Alyx just stays silly, I also feel like the opportunity for the whole Resistance trio getting to fight at the battle for City 17 instead of Alyx dipping right before we meet up with Barney was absolutely STOLEN from us.
• I’ve read Chellyx fics in the past and I still think it’s great! Two uniquely competent and awesome women understanding one another due to having no real memories of a pre-Combine world…
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FINALLY SOMEONE SAID THE TRUTH.
I admit that i enjoyed act 3 but it feels like really rushed i have so much complain with that.
The build up until act 2 was so good it give us so much premise but the final blow si meh. Sorry that i want to share thing long rant with you
1. Why the final talk is with yae, no offense to her but we need ei to explain not to mention she witness khaenriah downfall so she can give us more information, i feel like they do it for the plot armor so they can just keep dragging this
2. So many things that quite inconsistant, the shogun is show no mercy to anyone that even did a little thing outside what she think its right, how come she can still have a talk with signora, when sara is falling like that, and also there is no clarification about sara right now.
The traveler was so done at first they refuse to help thoma and ayaka at the beginning. But they seem so happy and forget everything how come they are not RAGE ( okay maybe this is to bias and personal) when this nation provide nothing about our siblings information and also why they are not mention anything about their problem in ei stroy quest. Its nonsense! She is right in front of youu, ask about your siblings, ask about khaenriah, ask about ukmown god!!. How come they can just forget like that. Also mihoyo really waste the potential about twin things i thing ei will give us so much help bcs of the sympathy that we both rn lost our twin but noooo.
3. Kokomi seem lost some brain cell, she make a very succesfull grand intro but she become meh in act 3, how come a great strategist like her let the sus sponsorship slip just bcs they are desperate, not to mention her screen time is really small and her role seem so unsignificant and it feels lile she is a plain npc.
4. The awesome world quest that we have done doesnt get any mention at all! Inazuma owe us so much with cleansing sakura, thunder sakura, tatarigami, obarashi quest. It has so much potential that yae or ei or anyone else aknowledge what traveler has been done but nooo.
cracks knuckles... i suppose it's time for my promised dissertation. interestingly enough, you touched on a lot of the main issues i had with chapter III.
i think that if i had to pin the main issue, it's a lack of overall cohesiveness? we were jumping all over the place without the chance to ever flesh things out. inazuma is a smaller cast, but i feel like we didn't get to see any of them shine. since i'm most interested in the genshin characters, i'll break down my problems by going over everyone and their (lack) of impact on the story.
was ayaka not questioned or placed under suspicion for being close to thoma before his escape? i wanted to see her broken up over her duties as they relate to the yashiro commission, paired with having someone she genuinely cares about in danger. it would've been an interesting struggle if she was forced to choose one or the other. instead she just kinda took a back seat.
speaking of thoma, i don't even have anything to say, because he just... was there? for .0001 seconds. said "lol this sucks ig" and that's about it. i know we're going to get a story for him in the future since he's a 5* but i'm not getting my hopes up 😭 then in the raiden shogun's character story, man is peachy keen! be upset with the raiden shogun! have some inner conflict! even if it's just using loaded language because he's under surveillance for going against the raiden shogun, that'd be so cool. saying something like,
"Traveler, what's with that expression? Oh please, there's nothing to worry about. We're under the Statue of the Omnipresent God's protection. Nothing bad has ever happened here." *wink*
i also don't know what to say about gorou. he was... there....... i think. what is he fighting for? what are the stakes for him? what makes him place so much trust into kokomi? i'm out of things to say about him because i don't remember anything he did or said.
kokomi... oh kokomi... i was so hyped. so excited. i thought that maybe we could see a foil to the raiden shogun. that she'd have a moment where she's forced to realize, just like her opponent, sacrifices must be made that will hurt people who will never understand why she made them. or maybe something to show her military prowess. but instead she just accepts a mysterious patron's help (?), sees her people aging like the grateful dead from JJBA, and goes oh well. that sucks. what can ya do. oh bye traveler i guess, good luck with that. ????????????? HUH... similar case to thoma where she's gonna get a character story but like. she won't be the leader of the resistance anymore. that was her whole shtick. they took her shtick away. also she forced me to interact with more NPCs whose names i've already forgotten so i'm tilted about that still.
KUJOU SARA... AN INJUSTICE. A DISGRACE. a slap to my woman loving face. the build up was there. yae miko's comments about sara probably knowing the tenryou commission is involved in shady dealings, but is choosing not to think about it. sara being forced to confront reality and challenge her adopted father with the truth. being able to blaze a new path for herself in the process. when she started running to the raiden shogun i was ultra hyped up. sara, a devotee to the shogun for so long, was about to see her god interacting with the same people who led inazuma to this awful state. how would she react? would she stay ignorant, like yae miko so coyly said, choosing to look away in favor of following her god's footsteps? or would she be forced to recognize the raiden shogun isn't as divine as she once thought, and challenge her belief system?
we open the door to see the raiden shogun. the loading screen ensues. the camera pans to the ominous room, clouded in darkness, hinting at the ominous confrontation that is to come. the music takes a serious timbre. and then...
well fuck that potential character arc i guess. (we still don't know what sara made of any of this since she poofed out of existence from the story at this point)
kazuha also was handed a similar treatment. we've been with him for a while longer now. he is our introduction into inazuma, the one who first gets us emotionally involved by regaling us with the bittersweet tale of friendship that led him to becoming a wanted criminal. a kind soul who loves nature yet was dealt a cruel hand by fate, forced to watch his home nation turn into a hostile place, where his dear friend ultimately perished as a result. we get the scene with his friend's vision lighting back up. he parries a block from the raiden shogun, in the same area where his friend was killed by her. the parallels. the drama. except this time, he wasn't too late. he protected the traveler where he "failed" to protect his friend in the past. did he feel redemption at this? or was it a bittersweet reminder of what could've been?
WELL i guess we'll never know because we didn't get to talk to him again 😭 idk who got a bait and switch worse, him or sara. jesus christ mihoyo.
then we have signora. why is the raiden shogun talking to her? does she know about the gnosis being taken, and if she doesn't, what was her plan to get it from the archon? what does she think about scaramouche? and oh, okay, we're fighting here now. good fight + god tier music. pog pog. okay, now we've beaten her up, and raiden shogun wyd— wait no not signora her lore is still on CUPS not YET raiden shogun and— ah she's dead. okay. non nerds who didn't read artifact lore are going to know nothing about her. signora has such an interesting story, and yet... well. ok.
then we get raiden shogun redemption (?) arc. i was hype for this as well, though at that point, idk why i bothered being hype. i knew they were gonna do a cute power of friendship something or another, and i'm good with that, so long as it's executed well. what i was envisioning was like seven different buffs to correspond with the seven different visions, the dreams of those whose ambitions were stolen serving as the spear to penetrate the raiden shogun's heart of stone. maybe a hydro vision giving us extra healing for a time, with the voice acting over it being like,
"Even if the rest of the world forgets us, let our will carry you through this one final time. Succeed where we couldn't, Traveler."
so on and so forth.
but instead we got— you get the idea at this point. why bother spelling it out anymore.
at that point i was surprised the raiden shogun didn't go "oopsie woopsie!! we made a fucky wucky!!!" because that was the vibe i was getting. i love ei, don't get me wrong, but i wanted to see her challenged with what she had done to inazuma in the past year. maybe meeting NPC #2345259 who lost her sister to the vision decree or something, reminding ei of the love she held for her sister... being forced to come to terms with the extent of what she's done in pursuit of eternity.
anyway. please for the love of god mihoyo hire better writers for the main story. that is all i ask. thank you.
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Day 2: AU get me out of here - places to go when canon is complicated
It’s Day 2 for @roswellnewmexicocreate, time to celebrate those stories that I turn to when I can’t deal with canon, or when I don’t have the emotional energy to untangle all the emotions I have for what’s going on in canon. Alternative universes, the safe harbor for us. Below are a mix of rewrites of canon, remixes of canon, or out right not even set in Roswell- to fill every type distance you want from canon- from near to far.
and the howl of the desert carries me home by @christchex/ @michaels-blackhat (4,334) Alex runs into the desert to escape from his father with his guitar clutched to his chest. He plans to spend one last night playing before his father destroys it. Instead, he meets a cute boy with flowers in his curly hair and a lizard on his shoulder. He exchanges a song for a smile.
why i like it: I love everything about this story. Michael is totally a disney princess, and what a lovely way to save him from foster homes, but have him run away to the desert and use his alien powers to build his own little protective world. Looping in Nora’s plant powers like that, giving Michael a little animal friend, I love it all, but the show stealer is Alex Manes, playing music to coax the mystery boy out. It’s just incredibly soft.
***
Heartbeat series by @adiwriting (133,000 - in progress) During the lost decade, Alex gets Michael pregnant and Michael doesn't see or hear from him again for the next four and a half years. When Alex comes back to town, he discovers he has a daughter with Michael and they all have to figure out how to be a family.
why i like it: it has it all, installments with angst, installments with fluff, I can find whatever mood I am in by just pouring over this incredible series. I really don’t even like mpreg, but in RNM, with aliens it seems a little more probable to me and bless Britt, she goes light on the details but heavy on the kid aspect of it. I absolutely love Alex in this story, he’s richly characterized as a man who is trying hard while wandering unfamiliar territory like aliens, like being a dad, like being Michael’s boyfriend, and he doesn’t always get it right, but he’s loved regardless.
***
tonight we are young @skinsharpenedteeth (8,137) Alex and Michael ditch the Evans' New Years Eve party to find their own fun and Alex gets his New Years kiss...(the underage tag is because they're both 17 in this.)
why i like it: I’m a sucker for teen!Malex, especially stories that take place before the shed. I love this little AU where Alex is thinking about making a move, but hasn’t yet. They are both adorable nervous babies, this feels very much how a softer teen!Malex first time would go. Perfectly characterized here, you can just feel the hopeful vibes they have at 17. I like to believe nothing bad ever happens to them again.
***
you shift on a gear (it’s been a long year) by @backinmybodymp3 (28, 362) “Good morning,” Michael says. “What the hell did you do?” Alex asks, exasperated. (or: There were times, in some of the lower moments of the past however-many-days it’s been, where Michael had thought about what it might’ve been like to share this time loop with someone. He never imagined— well, he never imagined it’d be Alex.)
why i like it: I love time-loop stories! And this is just superb. The friendship dynamics of everyone involved, the Liz/Max wedding, Michael being a good brother, Michael trying so hard to keep this bullshit from dragging Alex in and then Alex being his usual reckless self when it comes to Michael, I absolutely dig this canon-divergent au. you can feel how much the author cares about everyone on the show in this story, and they really nail the Malex dynamic. This story came along just as season 3 did and it’s a true antidote to the malex drought on screen.
***
the library by @arielana (9,657) Alex had stopped too far away to hear exactly what they were saying, but their voices did carry over to where he was standing. The guy’s drawl had a melody to it that was vaguely familiar, but much deeper than the voice it reminded Alex of. God, that and the hair really brought some memories back. Just as Alex told himself to stop secretly staring like a creep and walk over there, he turned slightly so that Alex got a glimpse of the side of his face. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! Twelve years ago Alex left Roswell to join the Air Force, nursing a broken heart and promising to never return. When work brings him back to New Mexico he runs into someone he’d been sure he’d never see again.
why i like it: the first kiss in the UFO emporium was groundbreaking, but I have to admit, I love stories that explore the almost-happened, where Malex reconnect as adults without the shadow of Jesse’s attack. I love how sharp Alex is in this story, he has all these walls as an adult built from that first rejection, but then he’s so completely unprepared to reconnect with Michael again. The clownery in this story by both of them is perfect! I also totally love Forrest as a gay best friend for Alex, trying to wingman Alex, that cracked me up.
***
stellar light based life by @jocarthage (30,651) It’s not a memory if it’s something you see every day. It’s a trigger and it’s not one Alex wants to ever let go of.Alex saw Michael disappear into a blinding blue light, soft 17-year-old body pulled back into some kind of impossible vortex -- one hand, outstretched.
why i like it: another submission from 2020 RNM Big Bang, this story just wrecked me. I can’t even really put into words about how it hooked me and basically lives in my head now to the point I often mumble the first line to myself. Anyway, this AU takes a right turn at the shed attack, and goes full force scifi and tragic separation, I love it. In so many ways it reshapes Alex’s life but the core of who he is never changes, there’s so many great science geekery details about Michael’s planet and the astronaut journey that Alex takes, plus SANDERS... anyway, this is a fandom classic for me.
***
Crossed Wires by @beautifulcheat, @ladynox (15,351) Michael's been kicked off more than one Starfleet posting. So when he learned he was reassigned to the USS Roswell, he decided that he would keep his head down and behave. This decision is immediately thwarted when he meets her hot Vulcan captain.This might be the first time Michael got kicked off a posting for flirting with a captain.
why i like it: Star Trek AU? I’m pretty easy. Seeing elements of Kirk and Spock’s tragic backstory blended into genius mechanic Michael Guerin and ice prince Alex Manes was amazing. I love how it’s serving with his family that brings Michael to the Enterprise, his bond with Max and Isobel was chef’s kiss good. The blend of Michael’s powers and Alex’s biology - I loved the balance even if it came with its own misunderstandings, but hey, this time it was cultural! lol
***
I’m still here by @vague-shadows @pippsmcgee (35,928) Treasure Planet AU in which Michael is the gifted young delinquent who found a treasure map, and Alex is a space pirate pawn in his Father's obsession with riches and legacy.
why i like it: I’ve never seen Treasure Planet, but I didn’t need to thoroughly enjoy this AU. This was the perfect mix of angst and sci-fi adventure, where the authors managed to make the shed even more horrifying. Jesse Manes is the absolute worst in this story, the levels of obsession he goes to find a treasure, and then Michael on his own collision course - the ability to write tense action is a gift, and it’s on display in this story. Cyborg!Alex took up a place in my heart and still lives there, where he only gets the nicest things.
If you like any of these recs, please leave a comment on the story or a kudo- a ‘this was awesome’ is enough to propel an author into the stratosphere with happiness, so don’t worry about coming up with a unique, never before shared insight- sometimes a keyboard smash and emoji makes all the difference!
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reconnected
pairing: shawn mendes x reader
request: “hello. i was wondering if you could write where y/n and shawn met at school or on vine or idk at a coffee shop. both of us were young new artists and bonded over that. as both of us start getting popular we lose contact. a few years later we decide to collab on a song and that rescinds a spark of friendship and maybe something. but of course, I wanted to at a bit of drama. while you try to catch up on, you know life, the paparazzi are sure you two are together, shawn's ex is stringing up trouble and all your friends and family keep on bothering you two about each other” - @iwishiwasyuri
word count: 2.7k
It had been a peaceful day. You had woken up early and started a day of productivity. You were currently drinking a cup of tea and replying to a few business emails.
It was peaceful. Birds were singing outside. It was early, and it felt like the world was not awake yet. This moment of serenity almost felt like the calm before the storm.
Then, your phone buzzed and shook your desk in the process. You were taken out of your thoughts.
You glanced down at the lit screen. You noticed a text message had popped up on your screen.
Woah.
You hadn’t seen that name in years.
Shawn.
Shawn Mendes.
You and Shawn had known each other for years. You both bonded over being singers and the rest was history.
You two had a beautiful story, much like a fairytale. The way you both met felt like a page out of a novel.
You had been at your local coffee shop, way before you had become successful in the music industry world.
It was back when you uploaded videos of yourself singing covers on YouTube. It was simple and seemed mediocre now, but at the time you loved it. You were singing all the time and it was your dream, even though you made virtually no money. You still loved it.
You jumped up into the seat at the high table. You pulled out your laptop to edit your most recent video. You sipped on your warm latte. It made you feel warm and cozy, as opposed to the freezing weather outside.
You plopped your headphones over your ears and started to edit the video. Within seconds, you heard a voice talking over your shoulder.
“So you’re a singer?” The voice asked. You jumped, almost managing to fall out of the chair. You felt a pair of strong arms catch you and keep you from falling.
Finally, you got a chance to look at the source of the voice. You had been prepared for it to be some creepy guy, but you were wrong.
So wrong.
The guy was cute and had the most perfect smile. You were speechless. You froze, and your brain shut off.
“Hi, uh sorry about that. I’m Shawn. It’s just, your headphones are unplugged. I was going to tell you and I realized it was you singing. I’m sorry I scared you” he said, kindly. You had to pinch yourself to realize this was all real. “I...uh hi. I’m Y/N. I was just zoned out, it’s not your fault. But hi, I’m Y/N” you rambled.
His smile made your stomach do flips. You felt like you were on a rollercoaster.
“Yeah, you said that already” Shawn said, chuckling. It was endearing. He wasn’t laughing at you, he was just amused by the cute girl who was stuttering over her words.
You didn’t know it then, but he thought you were adorable.
You thought the exact same thing about him.
The story went on. You two became great friends. You never got the courage to mention your little crush on him, but time went on.
As you both got busier, you started to drift apart. Eventually you just stopped talking. Any time you heard his songs on the radio or saw an article about him, it just pulled on your heart strings.
But now he was texting you.
Hey, Y/N. I know it’s been a while, well maybe longer than a while. It feels like forever. Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to meet up and talk. I really miss you
You were stunned. You could barely comprehend what you were reading.
It felt like a crazy dream, and you were about to wake up any second now.
You picked up your phone and tried to come up with a reply. It was harder than you thought it would be. How did you put years worth of feelings into just a few sentences?
Hi! It has been forever, I miss our late night runs for ice cream. I would love to hang out and catch up. I want to hear about all that I’ve missed. I hope you’re doing well!!
You pressed send and your heart leaped out of your chest. You could hear your heart thumping in your ears.
As you sat there waiting for a reply, it felt like years. In reality, it was probably five minutes.
Then, your phone dinged.
Awesome! You want to come over to my place in like an hour?
You almost jumped out of your chair. You couldn’t believe you were finally going to see Shawn after all these years. You sent a quick reply and then headed to your closet to get dressed.
You grabbed some clothes to change into and then proceeded to change your outfit four more times. Finally, you had settled on the best option. You checked the clock and saw that it was time to go.
You grabbed your phone and your keys and then headed to Shawn’s apartment.
You found yourself outside his front door, unable to move. You wanted to pick up your hand and knock on the door, but you couldn’t. Every time that you got close, you chickened out.
It had been years since you had seen Shawn. What if he changed? What if he didn’t like you anymore? What if you embarrassed yourself?
Every time another one of thoughts popped in your head, it became harder to try to knock on that door.
You took a deep breath and tried to still your shaking hands. You felt a small moment of confidence. Before it went away, you quickly knocked on the door.
Your pulse quickened. You felt the extreme urge to just run away. Before you could do that, the door opened.
There he was.
He looked different in person. Magazines and social media had been the only place you saw him for years. Now, three feet in front of you, you were almost shocked that he was three dimensional.
“Hi” was all you get out.
You were absolutely frozen.
“Hey” he said, slowly. He seemed to also be at a loss for words.
You looked him up and down, taking in all of his features. His hair was longer now. His shoulders were broader and he was so much more muscular now.
You were almost drooling over his arms in the tight shirt. Your lingering gaze left his body and you met his eyes.
Small smiles appeared on both of your faces. He grabbed your hands and pulled you into a hug. His tight embrace was comforting. His strong arms around you made your heart swoon.
After a while, you both pulled away. Once again, you couldn’t get rid of the grin on your face. “So how have you been?” He asked, looking into your eyes.
You started to tell him about major changes in your life that he had missed. While you were talking, his hand naturally slipped into yours. He gave your hand a reassuring squeeze as you spoke.
Your heart was racing at the speed of sound. It felt like a dream. There was no way you could really be standing in front of Shawn after all these years.
“It’s so good to finally see you again. I’ve actually been wanting to ask you something” Shawn said, after you finished talking. You were immediately intrigued, but also worried.
“And what is that?” You asked, rocking back and forth on your feet. “I was wondering if you would want to collab on a song sometime. I really love your music, and it would awesome to work with you” he told you, honestly.
You were taken aback. “I would love to. Is that why you invited me? To use me for monetary gain?” You teased him, giggling. He chuckled and shook his head. “No, that’s not why I wanted to see you again” he said, with a certain sparkle in his eyes.
You started gazing into his eyes, and it became harder and harder to stop. You didn’t notice, but you both started to step closer together. What you did notice was Shawn carefully placing his hand on your waist. He did it so lightly that you almost thought you imagined the lingering touch.
Before you both started to lean in, there was a loud commotion outside the front door. You both quickly jumped away like teenagers caught doing something mischievous.
Shawn sighed and headed towards the door to check who it was. He looked through the peephole and then quickly backed up. You were confused by his urgency.
“Who is it?” You asked, curiously. He didn’t answer you right away. He walked over to a wall and quickly closed the curtains. “The paparazzi are here” he said, walking back over to you.
“Well then I guess you’re stuck with me until they leave” you said, smiling as you walked over to the couch. You plopped down on the couch, and Shawn joined you seconds later.
“So do you want to watch a movie because you’re going to be stuck here?” He asked you, grabbing the remote.
You nodded and leaned your head on his shoulder. He didn’t expect you to do it, but he leaned into your touch. He pressed play on a movie and then put his arm along the back of the couch.
Slowly, as the movie continued, his arm moved from the couch to your shoulders. The way he transitioned was so natural, like he was used to having his arm around you. It felt good, and was definitely something you could get used to.
The movie became dull, and you glanced up at Shawn. You found yourself admiring his features as he watched the screen.
Then he caught you.
He looked down into your eyes. You felt your cheeks heat up as you were caught. “Hi you” he said, sweetly. You just smiled and then cuddled further into his side.
“Hey wait. I wanted to ask you about something?” Shawn said, pausing the movie.
You looked back up at him. It was hard to not smile. You always felt happy when you were around Shawn.
“So, I know that we haven’t seen each other in years, but there’s been something I’ve always wanted to tell you. Since the day we first met, I have—” Shawn started to say before he was interrupted.
Your phone loudly started ringing. It distracted you from what he was saying. You glanced down at your phone. It was your mom calling.
“I’m so sorry. It’s my mom, I have to take this” you said, apologetically setting one of your hands on Shawn's. He nodded. He was always so understanding.
You quickly answered the phone. Before you could say hello, your mom started interrogating you.
“Are you and Shawn finally together?” She asked, very quickly. You were taken aback by the question and also how fast she had asked that. “Uhh...no. Why would you think that?” You asked her, confused.
“The pictures are everywhere. It’s you walking into his house, and there’s a picture of you two hugging. All the tabloids are saying you two are together. I know that I shouldn’t trust tabloids, but I’ve always wanted you two to date. You are both so great together. Plus, he’s very handsome. So, you have good taste” your mom rambled, only stopping when she ran out of breath.
“Woah woah woah. Slow down. I promise you, Shawn and I are not dating” you assured your mom. Only then, Shawn started to listen to what you were saying. He had been trying not to listen or eavesdrop, but you were right next to him.
He just smirked at you. You saw it and rolled your eyes at him, as you tried to hold back from laughing.
Eventually, your mom said she believed you and hung up the phone. “I’m sorry about that. She started listening to the tabloids” you explained to him. He chuckled as he looked at his own phone. “That’s okay. All my friends are texting me about it too” he told you, smiling.
“Well then I guess you’re stuck with me as your fake girlfriend” you said, sticking your tongue out at him. He put his arm around you and then you leaned your head on his shoulder. “I’ve missed you” he said, softly.
You started to trace shapes on the back of his hand. “I’ve missed you too” you said, at the same volume.
You felt Shawn kiss your temple and you felt the heat rush to your face.
“So what were you going to ask me before?” You asked him, giving him your full attention. Just as he was about to tell you, there was a loud knocking at the front door.
Shawn groaned and then stood up. He walked over to the door. He looked through the peephole and just sighed.
“Hang on a minute” he said to you. Then, he opened the door. You couldn’t see the door from where you were sitting. “Hey there sweetheart” you heard a girl say, and your blood ran cold.
Did Shawn have a girlfriend? You had never even brought it up. You felt so stupid. Of course he had a girlfriend. It had been years. You had been sitting here hoping he would make a move, but he was taken. He was gorgeous, any girl would be lucky to date him.
“Ashley. What do you want? We broke up. Stop acting like it didn’t happen” Shawn said, sternly. It threw you even farther off guard. You didn’t want to get your hopes up, but it seemed like Shawn was actually single.
“I just saw on Twitter that coffee shop girl was here before. If you are dating, I want you to know that you can do better. I’m still single and you know I’m hotter than her. Just come here and kiss me so all those paparazzis will know you’re mine again” you heard Ashley said.
You felt disgusted listening to her talk. She was being really rude to both you and Shawn. “Goodbye Ashley. Go ruin somebody else’s day” Shawn said, closing the door.
He walked back over to you. He looked defeated. “So that was...?” You asked. “My ex-girlfriend. I know, bad idea” he said. You didn’t know what to say.
Shawn cursed under his breath. He looked furious. You stood up and walked over to him. “Hey it’s okay. It’s no big deal. We’ll just move on. You don’t have to worry about it” you said, trying to console him. You didn’t know why he was so upset of all a sudden.
“No, it’s not okay, Y/N” he snapped at you. You jumped away from him. You visibly flinched. His eyes softened when he saw you back away. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted, it’s not your fault” he said, hanging his head low.
“It’s just— I’ve tried to kiss you three times today, or at least just tell you how I feel. Every time that I try, something gets in the way. I haven’t seen you in years and I just want get this off my chest. I feel like we have something special. I don’t know if you feel it too, or I’m just crazy. I really just want to kiss you, but I’m afraid something will get in the way if I try” he confessed.
You were shocked. This was the last thing you expected him to say. You had always wished that your connection was more than just friends, but you had always second guessed it. You always assumed that you were just making it up.
“Well, there’s nothing stopping you now” you said, coyly. He quickly looked up to meet your eye contact. He looked unsure, so you made the first move.
You walked towards Shawn and placed your hands on his chest. “What are you waiting for?” You asked him. That was all the clarity he needed.
He instantly connected your lips and wrapped his arms around your waist. It felt perfect. That sounds cliche and unrealistic, but the mixture of years of feelings and yearning made the perfect combination.
You both pulled away and couldn’t look away from each other’s eyes. “I guess I should call my mom back and tell her I lied” you said, giggling.
taglist: @laurakirsten0502 @miraclesoflove @nathaliabakes @millipop18 @azghedaheda @shyinadarkplace @ashwarren32 @impossibleapricotlampbat @lukes-orange-beanie
Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist for all my imagines or for a specific character/fandom!!
Requests OPEN
#requested#shawn mendes x reader#shawn mendes#shawn Mendes imagines#shawn Mendes fanfiction#shawn Mendes reader insert#shawn mendes fic#shawn mendes request#requests open#taglist open#fanfiction requests#shawn mendes fluff
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you finally made sense
Requested: 👍
Summary/Request: So Jacob Markstrom idea for whenever you’re ready. Because I am simple and just love the idea I would love to see how you would write friends to lovers but where Jacob has known for a while that he wanted more but the reader is much slower to come to a realization. Like maybe she realizes when someone makes a comment about how they are such a cute couple or something.
Warning: Google Translate, fluff, maybe some language?
Author’s Note: For some reason, this GIF doesn’t come up in the GIF search but I love it too much not to use, so I believe it’s from @droppedgloves and I want to thank them for it. It’s beautiful, thank you. Fun fact: I forgot what the ‘plan’ was after I wrote “here’s the plan” because I had to save it as a draft and do other stuff 😂😂 I’m not super familiar with Markstrom, so I had to spend a good full day scrolling through YouTube to watch videos and interviews of him to get a sense of his personality so I could figure out how I wanted to write him and, here’s another fun fact: I didn’t realize that video of the goalie playing with dolls (you’re the better goalie, you’re the better goalie) was actually Markstrom so that made me giggle when I was watching stuff. @mandypants95 I hope this gives you a little bit of what you were looking for. Friends to Lovers is fun to write because of all the cliché’s that come with it so I hope everyone enjoys it, even just a little bit! It’s quite long, like I told mandypants, it kind of got away on me, so just prepare yourself 😂Stay golden, loves! <3
P.S. The names of Marky’s friends are not real people, -- he might have friends with these names but I have no idea, -- I just needed to make up some names for his friends 😜
P.P.S. If you keep seeing this appear after you’ve liked it, I’m sorry. Sometimes edits need to be done because of grammar (I hate when my fics have bad grammar) and if I do it on the app, sometimes the title doesn’t save so the link gets we-- it’s a whole thing.
masterlist
the other masterlist
xx
You met Jake his first year playing with the Canucks but it wasn’t a natural friendship like he usually explained it to everyone. He was sweet, sure, but he was also very cocky; like he knew how good he was and was eager to make sure everyone else knew. It didn’t take long, though, for him to charm his way into your life.
“JAKE!” you called as you walked through his front door
“What’s up!” he yelled from the top of the stairs
“Here’s the plan:” you started to explain, “we’re going to this bar, you’re not going to run off and leave me alone with all these strangers, we’re gonna leave when either of us decides that we’re done, got it?”
“It’s a party, (Y/N),” he laughed, “we have to interact with them”
“I know and it’s your birthday,” you added, “I’m just saying, I don’t know your friends. You can read me, I can read you, so just help me out a little, okay?”
“Fine” he sighed sarcastically before running down the stairs to meet you, bumping your arm lightly with his shoulder before walking into the kitchen to grab a glass of water
“Good” you smiled
“Great” he teased
“Look,” you sighed, leaning against his counter while he practically chugged his water, “don’t be weird. Don’t wear a suit and make me feel under-dressed, just wear jeans and a t-shirt”
“It’s my birthday party...” you scoffed
“I know, so just be comfortable” you grinned and he shook his head
“God, you’re so demanding today” he joked
“I have to be or you won’t listen to me”
“You know me too well, I guess” he smiled, forcing an exaggerated eye roll from you before you turned on your heels to make your way home. “Wait, you’re leaving?”
“Yeah” you scoffed
“You just came over to boss me around and leave? Like this couldn’t have been done over text?”
“I have to go get changed!” you laughed
“What?” he chuckled, “you just told me to dress casual”
“I know because I know you,” you admitted, “you’ll still show up looking like you’re going to some fancy event. Even in ripped jeans and a ratty t-shirt”
“I won’t” he smiled
“You will. Just let me go home and put on a dress. I’ll meet you there”
“You’ll text me when you get there?”
“As soon as the Uber turns the corner” you smirked
“Okay, see you there.”
xx
Jacob’s P.O.V
You waited outside the bar for (Y/N) to show up for your birthday party that your friends from Sweden came in for but she was taking forever
“Where are you?” you asked impatiently
“I told you I’d text you when I was there” she sent back
“Yeah, but you were supposed to be here like 20 minutes ago!”
“There was traffic. I can’t control the traffic”
“Oh I’m sure you could if you tried”
“Yeah well, maybe next time”
“Are you close?”
“The car is just turning the corner now”
“Finally” you watched as cars paced by the bar until one black Lexus pulled up in front of you and (Y/N) stepped out slowly. Your eyes couldn’t help but follow her as she walked toward you, completely enthralled by the deep blue colour of her dress as it swished side to side. “Wait” you stopped her from walking into the bar, ahead of you
“What?” she sighed as she stepped back in front of you
“Why are you allowed to dress like that,” you gestured to her before gesturing to your outfit, “and I have to dress like this?”
“Because,” she started, a smile creeping across her face, “these are your friends. They’ve never met me before and I want to make a good impression”
“But it’s not like they need to approve of you,” you smirked, “we’re not dating”
“Oh I know,” she scoffed, “but if I look good, that makes you look good. They’ll know that you’re not failing over here because you hang out with awesome people like me” she turned and walked into the bar, grabbing your arm so she could drag you in after her. Her laugh, paired with her warm touch, sent your heart racing and you hoped she would hold onto you longer but as soon as your friends greeted you, she let go
“GRATTIS PÅ FÖDELSEDAGEN!” they shouted, grabbing you and practically tossing you back and forth between them before you noticed (Y/N)’s uncomfortable expression. You moved your hand to rest on her back
“Guys, this is my friend, (Y/N),” you said, pushing her forward so they could see her, “(Y/N), this is George, Niklas, Ollie, Sam, Malcolm, Dustin, Eric and Corey”
“Wow,” she exhaled with a laugh, looking at you as she tried to think of something to say, “forgive me if I mix up your names. Jake moves a lot faster than I do”
“Guess that’s what makes him a good goalie?” Ollie joked and (Y/N) nodded
“So you guys are just friends?” Dustin pried
“Yes” (Y/N) was quick to answer and you hoped that none of the boys noticed your face fall
“Let’s get some drinks!” Niklas exclaimed, directing (Y/N) to the bar while the rest of you followed behind them
“Så är du verkligen bara vänner?” George started, speaking Swedish so (Y/N) wouldn’t be able to understand
“Ja” you scoffed
“Av eget val?” Corey asked
“Så klart det är” you countered
“Ja? Din eller hennes?” Dustin teased
“What are you boys gossiping about?” (Y/N) laughed before you could answer, catching your eyes and a pathetic smile as the group sat at the bar
“They’re just asking when I’m gonna win the cup” you lied
“Did you guys meet here? In Calgary?” Ollie asked her, ignoring your lie
“No, actually we met in Vancouver,” she admitted with a smile, “in 2016?”
“Yep,” you added, “the end of 2016. We were instant friends”
“No we weren’t” she laughed
“What?!” you said, shocked at her confession
“Ooh, Jakey, what did you do?” Malcolm teased
“Nothing! I was a complete gentleman” you tried
“No he was,” she laughed, placing her hand on your arm to reassure you, “you were. He was very sweet but he knew I knew who he was and I didn’t really wanna give in to it, you know what I mean? But we kinda stayed in touch for a couple days, had lunch with some of my friends, he got us tickets to a game and made us feel welcome and all that. It was all very sweet”
“So what was the issue?” Malcolm asked, as if he knew something had changed
“I got a job in Calgary. I had moved to Vancouver for University but I was about to graduate and the island was a little too expensive to live on after having the loans I had. So when I moved back to Calgary, we just kinda couldn’t really become friends” she replied
“But obviously you did” Corey added
“He found me on Instagram and added me,“ she laughed and you could feel your face fill with heat, “then he just wouldn’t leave me alone”
“And then he got traded here” Sam finally added, earning a round of laughs from everyone when they realized he hadn’t said anything
“Then he got traded here. During a Pandemic, in the weirdest season of Hockey I’ve ever witnessed” she laughed
“She flipped when I told her”
“I hadn’t kept up with the trade deadline” she added
“So she was in the middle of a Zoom call or something” you continued, the two of you now telling the story together
“When I get this text”
“I wrote, purposely very cryptically, I’m coming to see you”
“And I was obviously very creeped out”
“But she still replied”
“Well, I had to figure out what the hell he was talking about!” she laughed, pushing your shoulder playfully
“Sure but you could’ve just been like ‘this is a joke’ and left it at that” you teased before she rolled her eyes
“Anyway…” she smirked, “I sent back a message asking what the hell he was talking about”
“So I told her I got traded and she sent a voice note practically screaming”
“I was excited”
“I was nervous but I was happy that I’d have a friend in the city outside of hockey”
“So I asked him when he was going to get into the city, to see if we could meet up”
“I told her”
“But then Alberta went into a weird quasi-lockdown and I didn’t want to get him in trouble”
“So we FaceTimed”
“Which we’d obviously done a million times over the years”
“We caught up”
“Planned to get together”
“Which we did, pretty soon after, and now here we are”
“Here you are” George interjected, leading you and (Y/N) to laugh awkwardly before each taking a sip from your respective drinks and Niklas pointed out a booth where everyone could sit and talk without having to crane your necks. After a while, and a few more cocktails, everyone seemed to be getting along which, honestly, made you smile; something that Ollie was all too quick to notice.
"I'll be right back" (Y/N) said with a smile before she started to push you out of the booth, leaving you with your friends and their very obvious questions
"Before you say anything," you smirked, "just don't"
"Come on" George laughed
"If you already know what we're going to say, why don't you answer the question?" Sam added
"Come on, Jakey" Malcolm teased
"Säg det" Corey added
"Säg vad?" you played dumb
"Kom igen..." Eric continued
"Ingen aning om vad du pratar om..."
"Hur länge har du älskat henne?" Dustin finally asked
"Hey!" you exclaimed when you saw (Y/N), trying to get them to forget about the question
"Hi," she said, caught off guard by your excitement, "everything okay?"
"Yeah" you answered, letting her back in before you squeezed in next to her
"You sure?" she said, furrowing her brow
"Yeah! We just wanted to get another round but wanted to make sure you were here before we did..."
"You're a terrible liar" she laughed, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and exposing her neck
"Så... ska du berätta för henne att du älskar henne eller måste någon av oss göra det?" Sam said, causing (Y/N)'s head to ping pong back and forth between the two of you, as if she was trying to understand what he said to you
"What did he say?" she asked you, leaning into you, causing your cheeks to flush with heat
"Nothing," you said, distracted by her peach-scented shampoo and the way she didn't move away from you, clearing your throat when you realized that you were almost moving toward her, "they're just teasing me. You all have that in common”
“Yeah, something tells me that’s not what he said” she smirked, her eyes dancing between yours before she sat back up and continued talking with the guys; they told her stories about how you were as a kid, she laughed and said that you hadn’t changed at all.
“It was nice to meet you, (Y/N),” Malcolm said, “take care of him while we’re gone okay?”
“I will” she smiled
“Take care of yourself, too” Corey added
“Thanks”
“And you,” George pointed to you with a smirk, “you take care of her”
“Yeah yeah yeah” you joked
"Vi är seriösa, J," Niklas said, "Hon är för bra för dig men om du tar hand om henne ..."
"Då vet du..." Sam added, raising his eyebrows as (Y/N) called a cab
"Allvarligt killar, sluta" you sighed
"Du älskar henne" Ollie whispered
"Berätta bara för henne," Dustin said while Eric nodded his head
"Det är inte så enkelt" you sighed, watching (Y/N) continue to try to hail a cab and fail, dropping her head in annoyance
“Come on!” you heard her yell, earning a scoff from you
”Har jag varit kär i henne i ungefär två år? Ja," you confessed, "spelar det någon roll? Nej, för hon känner inte samma sak om mig och jag tänker inte tvinga henne att känna något hon inte gör”
"Tycker du inte att hon förtjänar att veta det?" Sam asked
"Vi såg hur hon såg på dig," Ollie grinned, "Jag tror att det finns några känslor där"
"Jag tror inte det" you sighed once more, looking over at (Y/N) who had successfully hailed a cab
“Jake!!” she called excitedly, a huge smile spread across her face, “come on! It was nice to meet you guys!” she called to your friends and they waved her goodbye, “Jake, I can’t keep this guy waiting forever!”
"Du bör gå" George laughed
"Hon är så bossig" Corey joked
"Ja, det är hon" you smirked, looking at her calling you to the small yellow car and telling the driver to wait just one more minute. ”Okej killar, jag måste gå. Tack för att du kom in för att önska mig en grattis på födelsedagen,” you smiled, “Ha en säker flygning tillbaka”
"Kommer att göra, Jakey," Malcolm said
“Hallå!” Niklas interrupted one last time, "Berätta bara för henne"
“Adjö” you shook your head before smiling and waving them goodbye
“Geez! Took you long enough!” (Y/N) whined, hopping into the backseat of the cab with you close behind
“Relax, I had to say goodbye. They came a long way” you replied
“Such a good friend,” she said, “can I just stay at your place tonight? I’m exhausted”
“Yeah that’s fine” you agreed, letting your hand fall next to hers, brushing her skin with your pinky and waiting for someone to break the silence
“Where to?” the driver finally asked, bringing your attention to him before giving him your address
“Your friends were nice,” (Y/N) added wearily, “they didn’t really like to talk in English though did they?”
“Their Swedish is better”
“That’s fair” she yawned, closing her eyes and leaning her head against the window. You smiled as thoughts of how your life could be with her — falling asleep next to her, caressing her skin as she slept, pushing her hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear so you could kiss her softly — but you knew she didn’t feel the same, so all you would ever be was friends.
xx
You fell asleep in the cab next to Jacob but you could swear you felt him watching you. He did wake you up, gently, when the cab pulled up in front of his apartment.
“(Y/N)?” he whispered, “hey”
“Hi. What’s going on?”
“It’s time to go inside” he smirked
“Oh” you scoffed, pushing yourself across the bench seat and stepping out of the cab, stumbling into Jacob when you finally stood up
“Whoa” he chuckled, placing his arm around your waist to keep you from falling
“I’m sorry,” she whined as you both stepped into the elevator, leaning back against the cold metal and away from Jake. “I didn’t think I drank that much but I guess I couldn’t keep up with you guys”
“It’s okay,” he laughed and you started to drift off to sleep again, “hey, we’re almost to my place, don’t fall asleep here okay?”
“Okay” you hummed before he started to keep you awake by telling you jokes. “Oh my god, Jake, stop!” you laughed, “your jokes are awful”
“Hey! My jokes are pure gold” he countered
“Sure they are” you scoffed. When the elevator finally opened, you slowly walked out, swaying and stumbling through the hallway before Jake eventually placed his hands on your waist and guided you to the door
“Alright, here we are. Come on, drunky”
“Why aren’t you more drunk?” you finally asked, only now noticing that he seemed very sober
“I’m twice your size,” he laughed, “I can manage a bit more alcohol than you”
“Yeah but you’re like… sober. Like you didn’t drink at all” you questioned before stumbling into his chest
“Oh-kay, let’s just get you to sleep,” he said, carrying you to his bedroom
“Hey mister,” you slurred, “what do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m putting you in bed” he said
“This is your bed, I don’t know what kind of ideas you have in your little Swedish brain”
“Don’t worry, kid,” he scoffed, setting you down on the firm mattress before tucking you under the covers, “I’ll be in the guest room”
“Wait!” you called as he started walking away, “happy birthday” you smiled, realizing you hadn’t said it to him nearly all-day
“Thanks,” he whispered and you saw him smile while he began closing the door, “now get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” The next morning, you heard him in the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as possible, rummaging around the cabinets
“Hey sleepy head!” he exclaimed
“Oh wow,” you replied softly, rubbing your temples, “why are you yelling like that?”
"I'm sorry," he whispered but it still felt like yelling, "am I annoying you?"
"What are you doing?" you asked, glaring at him while you sat down on the stool at the kitchen island
"I'm making pancakes!" he smiled
"You can't cook" you groaned, still rubbing your temples in hopes that it would cure your hangover
"Wow, rude," he joked, throwing a metal spoon into his sink and you shuddered at the ringing of the steel that echoed through the room, "do you want some aspirin?"
"Yes please" you smiled gratefully
"Here" he said, handing you a glass of water and two small pills
"Thank you," you said and he saluted you lazily, earning a scoff from you, "so what's going on today? Post birthday plans?"
"My mom is calling in soon and then I have to go to practice, we've got a game tomorrow. In Vancouver, so we're flying out this afternoon," he replied, keeping his eyes on the food in front of him while he spoke, "so the day is pretty much set..."
"Oh," you said, clearing your throat as you finished your glass of water, "okay. I'll just... leave you to it then"
"What?" he scoffed, "I didn't mean it li-- you're not gonna stay and talk to my mom? You know she loves you more than she loves me"
"Well, I am very lovable," you teased, smiling at him until your headache forced you to stop, "but I don't want to intrude or anything. I'll just grab my phone and get an Uber so I can head home"
"Stop it," he huffed, turning off the burner and walking over to you, "I'll drive you home later, just stay and chat with me and Mom" he placed his hands on your arms before his eyes focused on your own and you found yourself unable to resist his insistence; your pursed smile giving it away before you could
"Fine," you finally said, "I'll stay."
"Good" he smirked, turning back to grab you a pancake, practically tossing the plate to you. When his mom finally Facetimed him, he was in the other room so you were forced to greet her first
"Hey, Lena!" you exclaimed
"(Y/N)! Darling! How are you?" she asked, her smile so much like her sons
"I'm good, how are you?"
"I'm good! Thank you for asking," she smiled, looking past you for Jake, "now, where is my son?"
"He's probably off puking somewhere," you joked, "he really can't handle his alcohol in his old age"
"His tolerance must have lowered since moving to Canada"
"Especially when the actual alcohol percentages are so low compared to Sweden"
"I'm disappointed in him" she laughed
"Me too!" you added, laughing with her before Jake finally walked into frame, standing behind you with his arms on either side of you and his chin resting on the top of your head
"Alright you two," he smirked, "stop making fun of me"
"It's your fault," you teased, tilting your head so you were looking up at him directly, "not being in the room and all"
"When will I learn?" he joked, looking down at you before making a funny face
"Never. You'll never learn. You're impossible" you laughed, sticking your tongue out at him as he pushed your shoulder and sat down in the seat beside you
"You two are so sweet" Lena smirked
"Ma..." Jake sighed
"We are sweet, aren't we?" you replied, noticing both Lena and Jacob shake their heads; granted, with different expressions on their face
"It's not--" he started, exasperated after having clearly had this conversation with his mom more than once
"What's wrong?" you asked, confused
"I think you're the most adorable couple I've ever seen, honestly" Lena admitted and you scoffed, a blush creeping into your cheeks
"Oh, whoa," you smiled, "Jake, have you been going around telling your parents we're dating?"
"No" he sighed, closing his eyes lightly as if he was embarrassed
"I've been trying to get him to ask you out for months now but he won't do it" she teased
"Well, he wouldn't," you said, looking between the mother and son, "because we're just friends. He wouldn't want to ruin that"
"Alright mom," he said, over the back and forth, "enough of this conversation. I've got to take (Y/N) home, okay? Love you, thanks for the chat"
"Hey, Jacob!" Lena yelled before he could end the call, "we haven't spoken, don't hang up on me like that"
"I'll just.. go wait outside" you whispered, watching him sit down in front of his computer to await the disappointed words that his mom would soon say to him. You waited outside for a few minutes before checking if his truck was unlocked, sitting on the step when you saw that it wasn't and realizing that if you tried to open the door, the alarm would go off. It was another hour before Jacob finally came outside to meet you
"Sorry about that" he sighed
"That's okay. She called to talk to you, I'd be upset too if someone tried to hang up on me when I specifically called t--"
"Yeah, I get it," he said through bared teeth, "let's just go, okay? I have to be at practice soon" you furrowed your brow but got into the passenger seat, looking at him take a deep breath before starting the car. You thought about the words his mother used when she spoke about you and Jacob. You two are so sweet, the most adorable couple I've ever seen, I've been trying to get him to ask you out for months. It was all kind of odd to you. Not only that Lena had said it, or that she and Jake had clearly had the conversation before, but that he was so irritated by the whole interaction. Why was he so upset? you thought to yourself. Did he think you were embarrassed? Did he think that you would be hurt that he had never agreed to take you out on a date? Or was there something that he had said to Lena that he didn't want you to hear?
"Jake?" you said, as he drove through the city silently but he didn't respond. Soon enough, he pulled up outside of your apartment building and you hesitated before finally jumping out of the car, with just enough time to clear the door before Jake sped away from you. What the fuck? you scoffed, heading inside in hopes of clearing your head. You spent the day racking your brain about what could have gotten Jake so upset but nothing came to mind; nothing you said was rude, or at least you didn't think it was, and everything was true, so what was his deal?
"Tell me exactly what happened?" your friend, Susie, asked from the other end of the phone after you had explained the morning to her
"Again?" you whined
"Yes, again, I need to know if you're missing something"
"We went for drinks last night, for his birthday, with his friends. We all laughed and had a good time. I drank too much, stayed at his place, in separate rooms. When I woke up, we joked around like we always do, he gave me some aspirin and made some pancakes before his mom called from Sweden" you exclaimed, smirking to yourself a little while you thought of the conversation you and Lena had before Jake came back into the room. "She loves me, so we joked about Jake a bunch but then he came into the room, stood behind me and rested his chin on my head. I looked up at him and we teased each other a bit more. Lena said we were sweet, I said yeah of course but Jake seemed to.. argue with her? I don't know, Lena kept going saying that we made a cute couple but I corrected her, saying we were just friends. My exact words were to Jake 'have you been going around telling your parents we're dating?' to which he said No and then Lena said she's been trying to get him to ask me out for a while but he's always said no"
"And what did you say...?" Susie interjected, her tone telling you that she was hearing something that you clearly weren't
"I said that he wouldn't ask me out because we were just friends," you replied plainly. It was the truth, what was wrong with that? "and that he wouldn't want to ruin that"
"He wouldn't?" she questioned with a scoff before continuing, "fine. What happened after that?"
"Things got weird and tense. I let them talk alone and then he drove me home in a weird mood. He barely talked to me, he barely even looked at me!"
"(Y/N)..." she sighed, "(Y/N), (Y/N), (Y/N)..."
"What? What? What?" you scoffed in reply
"HOW ARE YOU SO BLIND?!" she shouted through the phone, forcing you to pull it from your ear for a minute
"What are you talking about?"
"I've seen it for years," she said, "but I always thought you knew. But you really don't, do you?"
"Know what? What have you seen for years?"
"The way you'd stop everything when he called, the way you'd schedule FaceTimes like clockwork, the way he knows your favourite colour as it changes from week to week. The fact that he could have anyone he wanted, who would want him back, but he chooses to ask you to hang out with him all the time, from a different province? A different time zone?" she explained but you were still lost
"We're friends. We like hanging out with each other and we can't really do that in person because of what's happening now. Plus, he's so busy..."
"(Y/N)!!!" she yelled again, "COME ON!"
"JUST SPIT IT OUT! I'm clearly not gonna get what you're trying to get me to get..."
"He's been in love with you for years. Probably since the two of you started really getting to know each other," she said and the words hung in the air as you tried to grasp them, "but when you said that you were just friends? He probably thought that he was never going to be anything more than that to you. Maybe he thinks he's wasted his time all these years"
"He's not in love with me" was all you could think to say
"Yes, he is," she laughed, "and you're in love with him"
"Now, hold on," you scoffed, "I'm pretty sure I would know if I were in love with somebody"
"Would you?"
"Of course I would"
"Fine," she replied, seemingly dropping the conversation, "but he is in love with you and I think you need to talk to him about it"
"And say what?" you asked
"I don't know..." she said, her smirk ever present on her words, "but I'm sure you'll think of something"
"Susi--"
"I gotta go," she interrupted, "keep me in the loop. Love you, bye!"
"WAIT!" you shouted to a now static line, "well what the fuck...?" you said to yourself. You were left alone with the thought that Jake might have feelings for you and the words that Susie tried to convince you were true
"You're in love with him, too" it was nonsense. You couldn't love Jake... It was Jake. He was Jacob Markström. Was there a part of you that found him attractive? Yes. Yeah, sure but were you in love with him? No. No, there's no way.
"FUCK!" you shouted to your empty apartment, as you paced through the living room, "why would she say that? It doesn't matter. I don't love him. I mean, he's Jake. He's just the guy who teases me for literally every move I make. So, he knows that my favourite colour changes every week, who cares? That doesn't mean anything. Sure, you knew that he loves Country music more than he's actually confessed in his interviews, but that's just what happens when you're friends with someone. And, yes, when the light hit him just right, he looked like he was covered in gold but that's not him. That's the sun... It's not like he's a god or anything, he's just got blonde hair and the sun does stuff to blonde hair..." you could feel yourself making excuses but you had to because maybe you didn't want it to be true. You couldn't be in love with him, could you? "Fuck" you sighed.
xx
Jacob's P.O.V
You had been ignoring (Y/N) for almost a week at this point. You weren’t sure what to do or say to her knowing now, for sure, that she only thought of you as friends but you hated not having her around. She had become such an integral part of your life and not having her there just felt... wrong
“Jake, talk to me, please!” she texted and you sighed, staring at your phone and contemplating an answer but you just couldn’t think of something to say, “JAKE! I know you’re getting these messages. Just let me talk to you please. If you don’t want to say anything fine but I need to talk to you”
“Are you gonna leave me alone if I let you talk?” you finally gave in
“Yes,” she sent back, “but I need to see you to say all of this...”
“Seriously?” you scoffed
“Yes. Seriously. Please?”
“Fine. When are you free?”
“Right now!” she replied quickly
“I can’t right now. I literally just walked into the locker room, how about tomorrow?”
“How about after practice? I can meet you at the Dome...”
“Fine” you huffed to yourself
“Everything okay?” Tanny asked when he heard your exasperation
“Yeah” you sighed, holding up your phone to let him know that it was something on there
“Great!” (Y/N) added, “I’ll see you at four?”
“Yeah sure, fine” you tossed your phone into the shelf in your stall and rubbed your face in frustration
“Yo, Marky...” Chris continued, noticing your stress, “seriously man, what’s going on?”
“(Y/N) wants to meet up and ‘talk’” you replied, putting air quotes around talk
“The girlfriend wants to break up huh?” he chirped and you scoffed, shaking your head in return
“I’ve been ignoring her for like a week. I don’t know what to say to her... I’ve been able to hide my feelings for her for so long but she finally said to my mom, on my birthday, that all we’ll ever be is friends and, I don’t know, I just don’t know what to say to her. I don’t know if I can hide how I feel anymore”
“She has feelings for you, too” he said
“Yeah.. she thinks of me as a big brother”
“No,” he countered, “she has the same feelings for you as you do for her. She’s just scared to admit it”
“Why would she be scared to admit it?” you said dumbly
“Because,” he smirked, “it would mean admitting that guys and girls can’t just be friends. That there’s always some kind of attraction and that sex gets in the way”
“Sex?” you blushed
“I’m not saying you’ve had sex or that you’re going to,” he admitted, “I’m just saying, I’ve met (Y/N) before and she’s always said that she doesn’t agree with the idea that guys and girls can’t be friends because someone always wants to sleep with someone else. But if she admits to having feelings for you, then all of that becomes... hypocritical”
“She wouldn’t be that petty...”
“I wouldn’t call it petty,” he said, heading back toward his stall to continue putting on his gear, “I would call it stubborn.” By the end of practice, you were looking for (Y/N) everywhere but there was no one in the stands and you figured she must have wanted to meet you in the parking lot so you could drive her somewhere private. You took a quick shower and packed up your bag, looking at your phone quickly to see if there was anything from her but your screen was clear, forcing your brow to crease in response
“Take it easy, guys” you smiled as you made your way out of the locker room, waving to the team before catching Tanny give you a head nod. You practically ran out of the building to find (Y/N) when you saw her arguing with a security guard
“Oh, Jake! Finally. I’ve been arguing with this guy for like an hour. He wouldn’t let me in!” she explained through gritted teeth
“It’s fine. Thank you,” you said to the guard, pulling her away from him and toward your car, “what is wrong with you? You can’t argue with Security, you’re tiny. You’re not a threat, you just look like a chihuahua”
“Ha ha” she replied sarcastically
“Am I taking you somewhere to talk or what’s going on?” you spat
“Do you wanna go somewhere?” she asked
“I wanna know what you wanna talk about and then maybe I can decide if we should go somewhere” you admitted, stomping off to your car
“I wanna talk about us” she whimpered as she caught up to you. You caught her eye for just a second before shaking your head
“Get in the car” you scoffed and she did as you told her. The two of you were silent for a while before (Y/N) tried to get you to start talking but you shushed her, keeping the ride silent aside from the radio until you got to relatively empty part of Prince’s Island Park. “Alright,” you said sternly as you slammed the door shut, “talk”
“I...” she hesitated, closing the door lightly
“What?”
“I never--”
“Never meant to hurt me?” you interrupted thinking you were finishing her thought
“I never wanted to be with you...” she admitted and you scoffed in return
“Wow... thanks. Glad we could have this talk”
“No, wait, Jake, stop,” she sighed, “I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t realize how you felt until like a week ago. Apparently, everyone else around me knew but I was too stupid to see it. I thought we both wanted the same thing”
“And that was to never be with each other?”
“I thought we just wanted a friend”
“Because I can’t get my own friends?”
“Because I didn’t think you thought of me like that” she shouted
“Why not?” you exclaimed
“You never really did anything to make me think otherwise!”
“Sure I did!”
“Jake... come on. You never did anything differently...”
“I drove you places” you tried and she scoffed
“Oh no, you’re right,” she teased, “how could I not have known?”
“How about me calling on Valentine’s Day?”
“How was I supposed to know that was anything other than you having a day off?” It was a fair point, actually. She knew that you’d often lose track of days when you were on the road and, sometimes, you’d miss holidays altogether
“I never forgot your birthday!” you said as if that proved something
“And?”
“And... you should’ve known then”
“Jake, it doesn’t matter,” she sighed, “the point is that I didn’t notice until now.”
“So what?” you asked, “you wanted to talk to tell me that you never wanted to be with me? I don’t get why you couldn’t just wait for me to come to you or why you had to stop everything for this”
“Jake..”
“I mean no, you didn’t stop everything but you might as well have”
“Jake...” you heard her say, trying to get you to stop but you continued rambling
“But that’s what I do. For you. I drop everything as soon as you call or text because you need me and I like that you need me, so I stop and run to you”
“Jacob!”
“WHAT?”
“I LOVE YOU, TOO” she shouted over you, her eyes closing softly when she realized how loud she was. “I didn’t realize it until I looked back at everything and I didn’t think it was actually how I felt because, I mean, it’s you...” she chuckled, “and it’s me. We couldn’t be an ‘us’ but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted there to be an ‘us.‘ I knew you were mad, you weren’t taking my calls or responding to my texts -- even though I saw that you had read them -- and I didn’t want to make things worse but I hated not having you around to tell me that I burnt my pizza, again, or that I should eat more fish or that I was a terrible tour guide. I hated not hearing your voice everyday or seeing your smile,” you began walking toward her as she continued to ramble, your heart warm with each word that left her lips, “I was always confused why you weren’t with anyone and why I was happy that you never were but when I figured it out, everything made sense. You finally made sense...” she stopped when you stood in front of her, closing any space between the two of you
“You done?” you asked with a smirk
“I-I think so...” she stammered as your hands crept to the sides of her neck, your thumb pushing her chin up so you could lean down and capture her lips slowly. She welcomed your lips as if they had been missing from hers for a lifetime but her arms stayed at her sides for a minute longer until it was too much for her and she let her hands clutch your wrists while your tongue glided across her lip to gain access inside her mouth. She let out a small moan when her mouth opened, earning a smirk from you before your hands fell from her neck, down her body, until they cupped her ass and you picked her up; her legs instinctively wrapping your hips, mirroring her arms wrapping around your neck. You set her down on the hood of your car while your tongues intertwined with each other and her fingers tangled in your hair. It took a while for either of you to break the kiss, leaving her chest heaving as she tried to her breath
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long” you laughed as her head fell against your chest and you kissed her forehead
“And?” she asked, lifting her head back up to look at you
“It was better than I thought it would be”
“Gee,” she scoffed, pushing your shoulder playfully, “thanks”
“I think we just need to keep doing it” you teased
“I can do that”
“Good” you whispered, leaning back in to press a kiss to her lips as she smiled against your lips
“Maybe we should go somewhere private” she whispered
“Sure” you replied, distracted by the feel of her skin under your fingertips, before you moved your lips to her neck, eliciting small whimpers from her
“Jake...” she moaned and you hummed against her skin, smirking to yourself, “somewhere private...”
“Fine,” you smirked, reluctantly agreeing with you before picking her up again to carry her back into the passenger seat. You sat in the drivers seat but didn’t make any moves, half hoping that she’d pull you into the backseat and say that this was ‘private enough’ but she didn’t do that. Instead, she leaned across the centre console and kissed your cheek
“Let’s go” she whispered in your ear, making you smile before your hand found its way to her knee, stationing itself there throughout the drive. She stopped you from moving your hand further up your thigh by grabbing it, holding it with both of hers
“Hey,” you whispered, bringing her hand to your lips, “we’re gonna have a lot of fun together”
“Yeah,” she smiled, “I think so, too.”
#Jacob Markström#Jacob Markstrom#Jacob Markstrom Imagine#Jacob Markstrom fic#Jacob Markström Imagine#Jacob Markström fic#NHL#Hockey#Calgary Flames#Hockey Fic#Hockey Imagine#Vancouver Canucks#Flames#Canucks#Friends to Lovers#masterlist#the other masterlist
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Anti-Romantic, Part 1
(credit to the original owner of the image)
Character | Jaehyun x reader Genre | nonidol!au, Mutual Pining, Slowburn, Fluff WordCount | 3.6 K Author'sNote | lmaoooo the fact that I intended this to be a oneshot type of thing oops. Wellllll, I tried. Most likely to be a two part series, but we'll see.
This is part of a series I intend to call "If Songs were Fics" and this particular one was loosely inspired by TXT's Anti-Romantic bc I'm obsessed. I hope you enjoy reading as much I enjoyed writing it!
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
I don't know who loves me
And I don't care, It's a waste anyways
A romantic feeling, Kinda scares me
“Any plans for you birthday next week?”
Jaehyun shakes his head at you, “no, not yet, don’t you have that date with that barista?”
“I’m not sure, he’s been acting weird over text lately. Might not be worth it,” you shrug your shoulders. “Besides, it’s your birthday! You only get one of those a year, we should plan something.”
You were on your way to the gym, a ritual you and Jaehyun had ever since you both found out you worked for the same company. You had been childhood friends, but ended up losing touch since you went to separate universities.
It was a nice surprise to see a friendly face on the first day of orientation and throughout the duration of your training for the next six weeks. Although you were both from different departments, you enjoyed taking your lunch breaks together and sharing small gossip about your old class-mates.
“ugh, don’t remind me,” he let’s out a long sigh, “every year, it seems like my family won’t stop pestering me about starting a family.”
“What’s so wrong about that?”
“Nothing, just not for me. Or at least not yet. I don’t think I’m the type to settle down,” he shrugs again as if it were no big deal.
You gasp, “how could you say that? I’ve seen your insta account. It’s got your cousin’s kids all over it!” You stop to take a good look at him as he holds the door of the gym open for you. “Back in school too, you used to tutor those elementary kids for volunteering hours. Even when you didn’t need them. You’ve always liked kids.”
“That’s different…”
“Right. Totally different things. Got it,” you roll your eyes. This wasn’t the first time he mentioned not wanting to settle down. At first, you had thought it was because he liked ‘keeping his options open’ like back in high-school. Or, not that you knew for sure, but if the rumors were true then it meant he slept his way around. Apparently, he never slept with someone twice and despite the cold shoulder the other party would get, all you had ever heard were praises. Not that you paid that much attention or anything.
You and Jaehyun had the same circle of friends, but despite that, he had never made any advances towards you. You’d be lying if that didn’t bother you at least once or twice. You just assumed that he didn’t want to make the friendship awkward or mess with the friend dynamics of your group. Which was why your crush on him in junior high ended as soon as you got to high-school.
You ended up going on dates with other people, but nothing that kept your interest. Nothing that compared to how you felt around him. Not that he seemed to think the same, so you tried your best to stay the good friend you always have been. You didn’t want to push something he clearly didn’t want; not that it didn’t hurt any less. Throughout the years it’s become bearable, at least. Almost like a painful habit.
You check in and head to the locker rooms to change. His nonchalance about the subject had always puzzled you. You’d seen first hand how all the female coworkers seemed to sway their hips as they walked by him, how some would pop a blouse button more than usual when around him, and you swore no one else was getting that much help throughout training more than him. He was handsome and a gentleman, that much was painfully obvious.
You meet him outside by the water fountain, “ready for warm-up?” he guides your way to the treadmills.
“When’s the last time you dated?”
You would have laughed if you weren’t so shocked to see him trip from the corner of your eye. “why the sudden curiosity?” He finally responds.
“Not sudden, I’d always wondered.” You defended. “You’re good looking and you’re very…I mean, you live on your own and have your own car. You have good relations with your family AND you’re good with kids. So, what is it?” You hadn’t realized how troubling you thought it all was. But now that you started digging you couldn’t stop.
“I just—” you pause, “it doesn’t make sense.”
You hear him chuckle, “you might wanna slow down before you pull something.” You look down and realize that your pace had gone from a relaxed jog to a borderline run during your rant. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to psychoanalyze your only friend in the city.
“Well, I just don’t know how to let people in. It’s just that.” He finally responds. “I love kids, but I don’t know or think I’d be a good partner.” He slows down before stopping, ending the conversation. He waves you off with an easy smile as you stay running.
Huh, maybe you pushed him too far. Your eyes can’t help but follow him around the gym.
Sweet and bitter chocolate, The taste at the end is always the same
Like the saddest movies, Only tears in my eyes
Your hands were sweaty the entire morning, anticipating your lunch time. It was his birthday today, and while you hadn’t made any concrete plans you ended up agreeing to go over to his place after work. Your gym bag was ready with snacks and comfy clothes to stay over. You remembered him saying he was excited to watch that new Marvel movie that had recently come out so you had bought it online to stream it at his place as a surprise. But what had you nervous was the small heart shaped box sitting in your purse. You didn’t know what possessed you to buy it but you had immediately thought of Jae when you passed by it at the mall. You remember vaguely mentioning that it was a special occasion to the sales lady (as in, his birthday), but she must have thought it was your significant other rather than friend because she changed the box to the red velvet shaped one while giving you a wink. In her defense, you could have protested but…why didn’t you?
You hear a knock on your door, “hey little miss sunshine.” Ah, Nakamoto, this couldn’t be good news. He was only sickly sweet to you when he needed a favor.
“What do you want?” you deadpan. He only laughs as he makes himself comfortable in your office. “Well, nothing in particular. Can’t stop by and see how you’re doing?” he feigns hurt.
“Right—the last time you ‘came by’ you left me working over-time through the weekend,” You sigh, “so what is it this time? Missed meeting? Late proposal?” To be fair, your supervisor WAS overworked sometimes. And since you were the only worker under him, it was normal for him to sometimes share some of the load with you.
He smiles at you, “nope. Just have a proposal for you. I know you’ve been working hard these past few months and I’ve been really impressed by your work ethic.” He stands and moves closer to your desk, “And I thought some sort of reward was in order, as well as celebration.” Ok, now you’re confused. You were ok with the reward part, it usually came in the form of a gift card to your favorite coffee shop, but celebration?
“Why would we celebrate? Did I miss something?”
“Not yet, but I did recommend you to the partner position with me. And I wanted to be the first to tell you that the boss approved it earlier today. So, what do ya say? Dinner on me?” he extends his hand out to you and wiggles his eyebrows playfully.
Oh.
Shit! You were hoping this would happen eventually, moving up from the entry-level position you had. But you had never thought it would be this fast. “Oh my gosh, are you serious?” You give him your hand and he shakes it in mock salute.
“Of course, some people will come by to move your computer to the office next to mine. You start Monday!” he winks, “So, wanna go to that new rooftop restaurant? This is a once in a life-time ticket, so you best say yes.”
But your dinner with Jae…He’ll understand, right? He has to. It’s not like he seemed that excited about it anyway. And you could always spend the day together tomorrow, too. It would be pretty rude to turn down Yuta after he pulled some strings for you…
You smile at him, “Thank you Mr. Nakamoto, I won’t let you down as a partner. Yeah, dinner sounds great. Wanna meet there?”
You sit down on the small table, now nervous for other reasons.
Jae sits opposite of you, a small smile on his face. “Hey you,” he greets.
“hey…” you start, “I hate to change plans so suddenly, but…” crap, you feel really shitty. But you really were between a rock and a hard place.
“everything ok?”
“yeah, no. I actually just got promoted,” you start.
“You did? That’s awesome! So fast, too. Wow—but shouldn’t you be more enthusiastic about it?” he chuckles.
“I am, just—my old supervisor wanted to go to dinner to celebrate. And I don’t think I could say no after helping me out like that.”
“I mean, did you want to skip it or?” Now he’s confused.
“Well, he wanted to go out tonight since I start Monday and today’s Friday…I don’t think I can come over tonight,” you explain.
Realization crosses his features before he gives a small smile. “Don’t worry about it, you’re fine. And he’s treating you! You don’t know when the next time he offers might be,” he continues, “we can celebrate another day anyway.”
“Are you sure?” now you feel like shit.
“Of course I’m sure.”
For the rest of the lunch, a thick silence settles before he excuses himself back to work.
Jaehyun knew this was coming. Nothing ever went his way; it’s why he kept everyone at a distance from his heart. But he was weak when it came to you. This game of push and pull was bound to keep happening, and it only brought him that all familiar foul taste in his mouth.
I know, that sweet love song, Those words of promise
When you turn around, It's just an unfamiliar someone
It was why he decided to go else-where for university, instead of joining you and some of your friends to the one closest to home. He chose to go across the globe—far, far away from the curse of you.
It had started on a windy day, back when you were 4 and new to the town he grew up in. Jaehyun didn’t want to leave his mother’s arms, he didn’t like the thought of being with strangers until later in the day even if his mom promised that she would be back. A little girl with jean overalls like his came up to him and his mom, “why are you crying?”
“I am not!” he sniffed. He didn’t need to make new friends like his mom was trying to tell him. All he needed was to go back home. You took out something from your pocket and showed it to him, “look, my mom said I could give one to my first friend. She said it was sharing. Want one?”
In her little palm, were two kiss chocolates. “You’re not my friend,” he grumbled, “I don’t know your name.” At that, you giggled, “I’m Y/N!” you took his hand and placed a chocolate there, “there, now we’re officially friends.”
“See, Jae? You can spend some time with Y/N and have fun. Before you know it, I’ll be back,” she promised.
“Yeah, Jae! Come play blocks with me, and then we can try the coloring.” You held his hand as you led him deeper into the classroom. Just like that, Jae began to feel a little warmth in his chest. He didn’t mind that his favorite thing to do was play tag outside or that he wasn’t really good at coloring inside lines yet. But that didn’t matter to him. As long as he had this one friend around, he was content.
Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I want to run far away
My heart that already chases after you, Blazes up as a small flame
Looking back at it now, it was a little funny. All it took to let you in back then was a simple chocolate kiss and your little sticky hand in his leading the way. You were always larger than life to him, sometimes he forgot that you were just as human as him.
As you two continued to grow, nothing seemed to change your friendship. But he knew that the depth of his feelings wasn’t mutual. It was in the way that you brought a lot different people together and decided to call it your family. Another of your friends, Jungwoo, liked to joke that you collected introverts for fun. To Jaehyun, it was more likely that you just didn’t see the fun in leaving people out. You were charming and passionate. Traits he wished he had. Your empathetic nature and gentle disposition were all that Jaehyun needed, even if he wasn’t the only recipient.
Once you guys started to hit puberty, things started to feel rocky. Jaehyun couldn’t help but physically distance himself from you, his ears were always red-hot. You had always been pretty to Jaehyun, but you were starting to become really beautiful. And if the boy’s locker rooms’ talk were anything to go by, then other people were definitely starting to realize “what a great catch” you were.
It really pissed him off. Who were they to say things as if all you were was a piece of meat? It disgusted him. But what disgusted him more was the fact that sometimes, he couldn’t help but also feel the way your body felt in his when you hugged in greeting. He hated the way his body reacted to everything you did.
He first messed around with a senior girl back when he was a sophomore, Sooyoung. She was leaving and he couldn’t take it anymore. Your boyfriend was a piece of trash and he was tired of hearing the way he would share what Jae considered to be intimate moments that had no business being public. But you seemed so happy… that next game, Jae stole the ball from him and scored on his own. Even if it cost him a three hour lecture from the coach, he would do it again. Fuck being a team, that guy was an asshole.
What he hadn’t planned on was liking messing around. He would never admit it, but the reason he couldn’t commit was because he couldn’t get rid of that small grain of hope that glowed in his chest every time you stared at him longer than would be deemed normal. It wasn’t often, but he knew he wasn’t seeing things. So, he succumbed to the cycle of push-and-pull that you guys had going on.
Jaehyun wasn’t blind, he knew that your work definitely spoke of your professionalism, but he’s also seen the way Nakamoto stared after you. Of the way his hand would often touch your waist when walking together. Even now, as he hears you apologize through the phone again as you get ready for your “date” with him he can’t help this heart feel heavy with anger. Anger at himself, for letting you slip away once more. He usually hopes for nothing but the best for you, but this time, he wishes you had an awful dinner.
Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I don't believe in romance
I'm afraid that after burning my whole heart, It will only leave behind ashes
Throughout the entire dinner, you can’t seem to get Jae out of your mind. It keeps you from enjoying the delicious food, keeps you from keeping your usual banter with Nakamoto.
You’re about to call it a night and thank Nakamoto for inviting you out when he beats you to it, “damn, I was hoping this might be a good break from the usual overtime we do, but something tells me your mind has been elsewhere,” he offers good naturedly, “I know it’s valentine’s, so maybe this is why we feel so awkward, right?”.
You grimace a bit at that, “ah—I’m sorry. I really am grateful for the way you look after me in the company and I’m also thankful for this lovely dinner,” you stop a bit, afraid you might offend him, “I agreed to come out tonight, so no need to feel awkward.” You offer a smile.
“Alright then. I guess you already have your sights on someone?” he prods. Should you be honest? There was no rule against dating outside your department, and you were pretty sure your new boss’s wife also worked within the company. “…I do. But I’m pretty sure they don’t feel the same way. It’s been so long since we’ve known each other. Surely if something were to have happened, it would have by now.” You were loosening up, definitely the wine’s fault.
Nakamoto sighs at that, “damn, and here I thought I could woo you after this,” he winks jokingly but you laugh him off. You knew he didn’t care for you that way. “I really hope you’re talking about the guy you always eat lunch with. I swear everyone thought you guys were married when you were released from training.”
“What?! No, I—we’ve been friends since we were children—”
“Aha! So it was him then,” he smirks. “Good.”
You groan, “Please, no.”
“What, it’s not him? You sure about that?”
“I will neither confirm nor deny that statement,” you groan. Why were you discussing your love life? You push the wine away and take a sip of your water.
“Hmm. That’s too bad. Could have sworn that guy was after you.” He stands up. “But fine, I’ll stop prodding.”
You sigh in relief—“for now.” You groan. “What do you even mean by that? You don’t even know him. Or me, or at least personally at least.”
“Mmm, I don’t have to. Some things you just know. Like how he wishes I was six feet under every time we run across him at work,” he sobers up at that. “He seemed like a cool dude, but his glare isn’t too friendly. I don’t know how you fell for that.”
You scoff, “just because someone has a resting bitch face doesn’t mean they’re a bad person.”
You both make your way to the underground parking. “You’re right, it just makes them unapproachable. Is that why you won’t confess?” His genuine tone rubs you the wrong way, you don’t need be given false hope.
“Stop it, you said you would drop it,” you frown, “Anyways, thank you for the food boss—”
“—not your boss anymore. Just call me Yuta, we’re partners now.”
“Aren’t you two years older than me?”
“And?”
You shrug at that, “well, thanks Yuta. For the food, not for the interrogation.” He chuckles at that, nodding while pulling out his car keys. “see you Monday!” he waves you off.
You sigh as you get home. It wasn’t as late as you thought it was, only a few minutes past nine. You really wanted to see him. Would he be busy?
You fish out your phone and dial his number before chickening out.
“Hello?”
“Jae! It’s me. Are you busy right now?” your heartbeat is pounding so loud, you’re scared he could hear it on the other end. “Right now?” you hear shuffling on the other end, “no, I was just reading that book Jungwoo sent me. Might have dozed off a bit into it but don’t tell him I said that,” he chuckles.
“Why, is everything ok? It’s still early, did you end dinner that fast?”
“Oh, Yuta and I called it a night pretty early. Too many couples were out and about and it got a bit awkward,” you explained.
“Yuta?”
“Ah, yes. Yuta Nakamoto, but now that we’re associates, he said it would be better to address him less formally.” You waive him off, “actually, I was wondering—if it’s not too late, can I still come over? If not, that’s cool. We can still hang out tomorrow, but your birthday is today and I thought—”
He laughs at your rambles, “of course you can come over, you know you don’t have to ask. How many times have I told you that?”
“Ok, ok. Just checking,” you still had your comfy change of clothes in your car, so you opt to save those for tomorrow and change into something causal for tonight.
“Do you want me to go get you? We can get ice cream on the way, hopefully they don’t close early.”
“Sounds like a plan then,” curse your heart for melting at everything he says.
“Alright, give me 15 and I’ll be there.” He hangs up.
You look at your bag, resting on your sofa and you sigh. The entire night, it’s almost as if you could feel the weight of his gift weighing it down. Yuta is known for being very observant, it’s why he was so good at his job. Closing deals and making contracts in advertisement. Would he be right about this? You know you desperately wish he was, but is it worth risking your best friend?
EndNote | Woooow, that was a longass ride. Let me know if you liked it or if there are other typos I missed! Or just to let me know what you thought, that would be much appreciated. I'm thinking of finishing it by Sunday 6/13, so hopefully the next part is up by then. Until then!
Here's Part 2!
#anti romantic#jaehyun fic#jaehyun fluff#nct#nct 127#kpopfanfic#nct x reader#jaehyun x reader#nct fluff#nct jaehyun#jaehyun scenarios#kpop fluff#nct u#nct 2020#nct imagines#nct 127 jaehyun#office au#fic#stream#txt#anti-romantic!!#hopefully it's out of my head soon#catchy
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25 - Just Chatting...
Hello one and all.
It's been a long time since I graced these pages and, believe it or not, nothing much has been happening in my life, apart from the odd soiree or two. Winter has finally left us and spring has sprung, and it's nice to see the sun again. Let's start by wishing my old mate a happy birthday and I hope you all had a little drinkie for him, I know I did. In fact I got legless, he would have been proud of me. Whenever we were in London there was always a party at Fred's on his birthday, be it a handful of friends, or one where he invited half of Britain, but which ever one it was there was always a good time to be had and a lot of chaos. One year he actually took over Pikes Hotel in Ibiza and chartered a private plane to fly his friends in. Roger and myself were already on the island recording some of his solo stuff so we didn't have far to travel to the bash. When I say we were working, it's kind of true as we spent a lot of time on his boat "Ga Ga" whizzing around having lunch and fun. The party was held outside around the swimming pool, now is that an invite for trouble or what? There were hundreds of balloons hanging from every available fixture, and of course there is always an idiot that thinks he's a clown. This particular clown, who will remain nameless, decided it would be funny to light one of the balloons, and needless to say the whole lot went up in flames. Phoebe and Crystal to the rescue. We had to get this "fire" off the wooden rafters before the whole hotel went up in smoke, so we were pulling bits of string while burning rubber was dripping down on us. I was so traumatised by the whole event I had to have another drink ....... a lame excuse I know, but hey, it's my story. Back to the pool. Edwin Shirley, of trucking fame and also an all round good guy after a few too many, decided to have a swim, so he removed his clothing and was flapping around the pool when some daft countess told him to get dressed and behave himself. Wrong move lady. Edwin was not impressed by his telling off and threw her in, and she was even less impressed with that and started ranting and raving, much to the amusement to the rest of the party hounds. She left with her tail between her legs and didn't look at all glamorous in her soaking wet dress, running makeup and failed hairdo. We continued till mid morning and went straight to the airport and caught a flight home. Thanks F for the great parties and good times, you will never be forgotten.
I still get asked a lot if I'm gonna write the "Real" story about Queen. Well the answer is no, and the reason is that the guys gave me a great job and a great life and I have far to much respect for them, their wives/girlfriends, children and families to tell the world what we got up to in private. I feel that is our business and ours alone. Most of us are all in relationships and telling tales could make life awkward for a few people, band and crew alike. I'm sure at some point in time someone from the organisation will write a book, have 5 minutes of fame and make a quick buck, but it sure as hell won't be me, and I'll still be able to sleep at night and when I see the guys I will still be free to say, "Wanna beer MATE."
I've had a few questions asked me that I'm gonna answer quickly.
First off is "Do you have any stories about Freddies cats? (ripping furniture etc.)" Here's a good reply, No. So moving right along, "Of all the famous people you've met, who impressed you the most?" Tricky one this. After years in this "Biz" they all become "Just normal people," and some become good pals, but on one occasion I was in Paul McCartneys studio and I was handed his violin bass and I was sitting there holding it when someone said, "Paul is left handed, hold it like he would." When I turned it around, still taped in the cutout was the Beatles set list from their days in Hamburg, now that impressed me.
Deaky and myself were the only two reggae lovers in the outfit, and Bob Marley turned up to see the show at Madison Square Gardens. Strange choice of show for Bob, but he loved Another one bites the dust, and he happened to be in New York on a stopover on his way to Germany for laser treatment. Show time and our intro tape was playing, and someone told JD that Bob was in the audience, so he cranked his bass up and played "Lively up yourself" over the tape. This was very possibly the last time Marley ever heard this played as he died shortly after. I didn't get to meet him, but I did get to meet Tyrone Downie, Bobs keyboard player in the Wailers, and Tyrone and myself got up to all sorts of mischief that night. RT on the other hand hates reggae music, but I did manage to drag him to the Circus Krone in Munich to see Peter Tosh. I loved it, he hated it. I look at this as payback because years before he insisted that I went to Hammersmith Odeon to see Laurie Anderson, of O Superman fame. This show he loved, but I put it alongside Cher as one of the worst concerts I have ever seen. Needless to say I have also met a couple of stars that I didn't see eye to eye with. Like the American rock star we encountered in a club one night, and he was such a pain I had to take him into the toilets to have a quiet word with him. He finally got the message so I released my hand from around his neck and let him drop back down to the ground. To finish this segment I wanna tell you something that Bev Bevan said. Bev was the drummer with ELO, and them and us were touring the US at the same time, and as it turned out, staying in the same hotel in one city. Roger and myself were leaving the hotel and waiting for the elevator. When the doors opened Bev was in there and him and RT said their hellos. Rog then said, "Bev, this is Crystal, he looks after me." Bev turned to me, shook my hand and said, "Pleased to meet you. If it wasn't for guys like you, guys like us wouldn't be where we are today." He didn't need to say that, and was genuine when he did. I wasn't impressed with meeting him, but he is certainly in my top ten of nicest people I have ever meet.
Over the last few months I've spent a lot of time in the Chatroom, and I highly recommend it to you all as it can be a bit of a laugh. For anyone who has never visited the room please remember a couple of things, if you come in and start swearing you will be kicked out. I know, it happens to me all the time. Also don't come in and start going on about knowing axemen and murderers and other such garbage, cause that also warrants a kicking. Some buffoon from Ireland, who went by the name of "Death" turned up with an attitude and was going on about how f***ing awesome Queen were at Slane Castle. He was not known by anyone in there so I asked him to watch his language. He said he was the Grim Reaper and could do and say what he liked, so I told him otherwise and he was most put out when I kicked him. What a fool. A while ago there was some prat who called himself F***queen, good name eh! Anyway, he/she/it was picking on a lovely young lady called Raisa, and was saying some awful things to her and completely freaked her out, so I went to her defence and FQ turned the attention my way. As far as I'm concerned it's only letters on a screen and it didn't phase me at all, but at least he/she/it gave up on Raisa. In all fairness to FQ, whoever you may be, he/she left a message on the Bulletin Board saying sorry to Raisa and myself and would never do it again. So FQ, from the both of us, thanks for the apology, we accept it. What other weirdos have we had? Well, there was a brightspark who decided it would be funny to use the nickname QueenRshite, another bad move from this person who was honoured with a ban.
While in there I've seen a lot of friendships made, and a couple that have fallen apart. I got a private message one evening from a very drunk girl who, how shall we phrase this, offered me her body and wanted to do all sorts of naughty things to me, I thanked her and declined...must be getting old or something. I have also witnessed relationships being made and, usually there is a lot of humour involved, but needless to say some arguments do occur. I have also seen some of the daftest things said. One guy was so convinced that one of the regulars was either Deaky or she was chatting with him in private that he actually started tracking her every move on the net. He also told me about some highly illegal activities he was up to concerning the band. I wouldn't have thought I was the best person to tell such stuff to, and needless to say I had a go at him. Just to add to his stupidity he's been recently boasting about his affair with an underage girl, and I reckon if he had any more sense he would be half witted. Having mentioned all the twits I'd like to say a quick hello to all the regulars, White Queen and Killer Queen, the lovely girls Blue Rock and Rannnnnnni, SQJan, Mayflower and her boys, Farookh (aka Leroy Brown) MarshMallow, the three Tigers - Babe, Lily and Stripes and the mighty Falc, also to all the rest who I haven't mentioned by name, you know who you are. I'd also like to say hi to Daddy Cool who is the singer in the Dutch cover band Miracle, and Dad, if you never make it as a singer you could make a great career from being a stand up comedian. Finally an extra special hello to the gorgeous MTB, who is about to make an honest man of me ;)
Before I go I'm sure I don't need to remind anyone of a certain date in November that is engraved in all of our minds. And I know that a lot of you will be heading to Garden Lodge to leave flowers. I don't wanna preach and tell you what to do, and I know flowers are a nice gesture, but they do die and the only people to really benefit from this is the florist. This year lets all give a donation, no matter how small, to Aids research, this way the cash will be used to try and stamp out this awful disease. If you really wanna leave flowers, buy a smaller, cheaper bunch and donate the balance of what you would have spent to these charities. It's been said a million times before but it is true, Every penny counts.
As always, Loadsa Love.
Crystal
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Just a Negotiation
^chose this photo because arms🥵
This will most likely be my last submission for #shamelesshoesforchris. I’ve enjoyed this challenge SO much! Thank you @stargazingfangirl18 and @navybrat817 for hosting such an awesome challenge! This is the longest fic I’ve written so far. I’m such a hoe for Steven Grant so he’s the star of this one. I hope you enjoy it!
Prompts:
“Can you just not right now?”
“I don’t deserve you”
Words: 6.8k
Rating: Explicit(I can’t seem to help myself)
Warnings: Smut, angst, reader not admitting feelings, Steve being Steve, language, unprotected sex, lil cockwarming
“Ah, fuck! Right there, Steve! Don’t stop!”
“Couldn’t stop if I wanted too, sweetheart.”
He grabs your hips and bounces you on him even faster. Planting his feet on the floor so he can meet your thrusts.
Usually he’s the one on top and you’re just along for the ride. But today he told you he wanted you to ride him. He didn’t have to tell you twice.
He’d already made you come twice with his fingers and mouth. So it’s no surprise that you can already feel yourself on the precipice of pleasure once again.
He leans back from sucking on your neck. “You gonna come for me,Y/N? I can feel you squeezing my cock.”
You moan in reply. You aren’t able to form any words at the moment. He’s hitting your g spot with every thrust. You tangle your hands in his hair and slam down on him hard one last time as your orgasm hits you like a freight train.
“Fuck, Y/N. Yes! Feels so good. You’re gonna make me come.”
His thrusts become even harder and faster than before. You know he’s close.
You lean forward and bite his earlobe as you clench down on him, “Come on, Captain. Fill me up. I want it.”
At your words he throws his head back and lets out a loud groan, coating your insides with his spend. His thrusts come to a stop as he rests his forehead against your chest, trying to catch his breath. You run your hands through his hair, your own breathing coming back to normal.
He brings his head up and leans in for a kiss. He pulls away and smiles. “So, same time next week?” He chuckles as he lifts you off of him and stands you up. “Sorry but I have a mission to get ready for. I think most of your clothes are in here, although I think your shirt is in the living room.”
“You and I both know we won’t last until next week, Rogers.” You start gathering your clothes, dressing as you go. You’d never admit it to him, but it always hurts your feelings a little bit when he kicks you out so quickly after your trysts.
Once he’s dressed in sweats and a too tight shirt, he comes over for a goodbye kiss. “That’s true, Y/N. You can’t resist all of this.” He gestures down his body with a chuckle.
You laugh at him. “Unless I have other plans.” You head out of his bedroom in search of your shirt. He follows you and leans against the doorway to his bedroom with his arms crossed, an amused expression on his face. “And what plans would that be?”
You finally locate your shirt and put it on. You head for your purse by the door. “I don’t know, but I could. My life doesn’t revolve around you, Rogers.”
You hear him chuckle. “Okay, tell that to my cock, sweetheart. You’ve been over here every night for the past 2 weeks. Not that I’m complaining.”
You turn around and face him. “I just wanted to create the illusion that I had a life. You know where to find me when you need a release.”
He gives you a smile that makes your knees feel weak. “That I do, Y/N. Have a good night.”
“Good luck on your mission!”
You wave and open his front door, glancing in the hall to make sure nobody is around. Once you realize the coast is clear, you close the door behind you and head back to your room.
You always hate this part. Your walk of shame. Some part of you always feels a little bit like a cheap whore. Although you agreed to this. So really you have nobody to blame but yourself.
See, you and Steve agreed awhile ago to become friends with benefits. It started with you complaining about going through a dry spell. He offered to help out. You know since he’s such a helpful kind of guy.
At first you declined his offer, stating you didn’t want to ruin your friendship. He understood and that was that.
Then a few nights later you had the worst date you had ever been on. You came back to the compound in a horrible mood. You’d really thought this date would’ve been a guarantee for sex. Then the guy turned out to be a total douche. You told him you had to ‘go to the bathroom’ and you made a beeline for the exit.
You stomped right up to Steve’s room and banged on his door.
He answered and looked confused to see you standing there. “Didn’t you have a date tonight? It’s not even 8:30. Is everything ok?”
You push your way inside and shut his door. “Listen, Rogers. I’m going to be real with you. The guy was a douche so I left early. So I was wonder-” He cuts you off. “He didn’t hurt you did he? Cause I’ll kill him if he did.”
You smile at his willingness to protect you. “No, Steve, he didn’t hurt me. He was just some self entitled, trust fund prick who thought the world revolved around him. I couldn’t stand another minute of him telling me how amazing he was. So I left and came straight here. I wanted to know if your offer still stood?”
His brows furrow. “You mean the offer about ending your dry spell? Yes, that offer still stands.”
You surge forward and crash your lips onto his. He reciprocates quickly and wraps his arms around your waist. After a few minutes of urgent kisses he pulls back. “Wait, wait. I just want you to know that I’m not interested in a relationship. With our line of work, I just don’t have time for one.”
You nod in understanding. “That’s great, Steve. But I’m trying to get some dick, not a relationship. And besides, this’ll only be a one time thing.”
That was the first lie you told yourself. At first it was only going to be a one time thing. But the sex turned out to be fucking phenomenal. So one time turned into two that turned into three and so on.
The next lie you told yourself was that you weren’t going to catch any feelings for him. Which you hadn’t for the first couple weeks into your negotiation. Then that all shot to hell. He’s Steve Rogers for goodness sake. How could you not fall for him?
Which leads you back to now. You know you should cut it off with him. But you can’t. You did a stupid thing and fell in love with him. And he’s let you know more than once he doesn’t have time for a relationship.
You finally reach your door and sigh in relief you didn’t run into anyone else. You and Steve have done a pretty good job at keeping this thing between you guys a secret. You plan to keep it that way.
You open your door and turn on the lights and just about jump out of your skin. Sitting on your couch is none other than your best friend, Nat. “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me!”
She stands and heads towards you. “Sorry, bug. Couldn’t resist scaring you. So, how’s Steve?”
You can feel the blush heating up your face. You turn and head towards your kitchen. “What? Nat, it’s 2 in the morning. Why would I know how Steve is? I was just working out some frustrations in the gym.” You grab 2 bottles of water out of the fridge and turn to toss her one.
She catches it and just gives you an amused look. “Oh come on, Y/N. I’m a trained assassin and spy. I know you guys are hooking up.” She twists the cap off her water and takes a sip.
“How did you find out?” There’s no use in denying it. You can’t lie to her. She knows you too well.
“Well besides the fact that you guys are always near each other and finding ways to touch each other? I walked to his room a few weeks ago to go over some paperwork with him and heard you guys. I gotta say, Steve has a dirty mouth on him.”
You groan as you head towards your couch. “Well we did a good job keeping it a secret up until now.”
She joins you on the couch. “How long has this been going on for exactly?”
You think for a minute. “About a year, give or take.”
She gapes at you. “You’ve been fucking Rogers for a year and I’m just now finding out about it? I mean is it just fucking? Are you guys in love? Why didn’t you tell me? What’s he like in bed? How big is it? I thought I was your best friend?”
You grab her shoulders and shake her a little. “Whoa calm down, Nat! First of all, yes. It’s just fucking. I didn’t tell you because Steve and I agreed to just keep it between us because we didn’t want to complicate things any further. And he’s the best I’ve ever had okay? His dick is amazing and has probably ruined me for all other guys. And you are my best friend. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Do you forgive me?” You give her the best puppy dog eyes you can muster at 2 am.
“Of course I forgive you, bug. But you didn’t answer all of my questions.” She smirks at you. You give her a confused look. She just rolls her eyes. “Are you guys in love?”
You look down at your hands in your lap. “I mean, I am. He’s not. He doesn't want a relationship right now.” You raise your head and look at your best friend. “But yes, I’m so in love with him it hurts. And if this is all I can have with him, then I’ll take it.”
She tilts her head to the side as if contemplating something. “Have you told him how you felt?”
You about spit the water you had in your mouth out before quickly swallowing it. “What? No! Of course I haven’t. He doesn’t love me. I’d just be setting myself up for failure.”
“How do you know that? How do you know he doesn’t feel the same? Maybe he’s scared to tell you. Come on! This is Steve we are talking about. Tell him! What’s the worst that could happen?”
You just stare at Nat in disbelief . “Um, he could hear me! And he would’ve told me by now. Right?”
Nat just shrugs her shoulders. “Not if he was afraid to tell you for the same reasons you’re afraid to tell him. Come on, Y/N. Yeah it might be hard to do but at least if you tell him you’ll know once and for all.”
She does have a point. If by some miracle he does feel the same then this could be the best thing that you ever do. If he doesn’t feel the same then at least you can cut ties and move on. You were tired of crying yourself to sleep at night over it. You look back at Nat. “Okay, I’m gonna do it. Tomorrow I’m gonna tell him and then I’ll know.”
She smiles and hugs you. “That’s great, Y/N. But it’s gonna have to wait until he gets back from the mission he’s going on tomorrow.” You furrow your brows. “Oh shit, that’s right. What kind of mission is it?”
“Just a simple undercover one. It’s just him and Sharon going. They have to pose as a married couple to try to get in good with some illegal drug smugglers. We think they’re involved with HYDRA. So they are going to check things out. Should be back in a week or so.”
“Won’t that be awkward with the two of them? I mean they dated for awhile.”
“It shouldn’t be, I mean they split on good terms. Promised to stay friends. I’m sure it’ll all work out fine. Besides it’ll give you plenty of time to work up the courage to tell him your feelings.” She smirks and stands to head towards the door.
You roll your eyes at her and bid her goodnight.
As she shuts the door behind her you can’t help but to think she’s right. It will take you the whole time he’s away for you to work up your courage.
It’s been 3 weeks since you’ve seen Steve. He came back from his mission today. You had psyched yourself up the whole time he was away.
That’s what led you to knocking on his door only hours after he got back. You hope you gave him enough time to debrief and shower the mission off.
Here goes nothing. You knock hesitantly.
The door swings open and Steve greets you with a smile. “Y/N! I didn’t expect to see you so soon but I’m glad you’re here. I need to talk to you.” He leans down to give you a hug and leads you inside.
“Really? That’s great cause I need to talk to you too.” You head to sit on his couch and look at him expectantly.
“You do? Okay then you go first.” He offers as he sits next to you.
“No, no. You go first. I insist.” You pat his hand, encouraging him to speak so you could hurry up and spill your guts to him.
“Okay, so something happened on the mission. Between Sharon and I. I think there’s still something between us. Nothing physical happened because I didn’t think that was right considering what you and I have going on. But I think we want to give it another shot.”
Your heart falls into your stomach. You do all you can to keep your smile. “Oh! Well that’s great news, Steve.”
“It is? I mean you’re not upset? I wanted to talk to you and put an end to this whole friends with benefits thing before I pursued anything with her.”
“Why would I be upset? Consider it ended. I mean it was just a negotiation between friends right? Thank you though, Steve. That was very considerate of you to talk to me about it first.”
He gives you his 100 watt smile. “Of course, Y/N. I mean I know we’ve been having sex but you’re my friend first and always. Unless you think there’s any reason I shouldn’t ask her out?”
He looks at you expectantly.
“Nope, I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t. Who knows? Maybe this will lead to that happy ending you're always talking about.”
He looks just the slightest bit disappointed but the look is gone almost as fast as it appeared. “Okay, great. Now you said you had to talk to me? What’s up?”
Oh shit, you can’t tell him now. You quickly pull some excuse out of your ass. “Oh, um. I was just wondering if you’d spar with me? I’m getting a little lazy in my fighting and I think you could help me?”
“Of course. I’d be happy to. How about we start tomorrow? Say 8am?”
“Sure! Thanks, Steve. I gotta get going. Promised Nat I’d watch a movie with her. But hey, good luck with Sharon.”
You get up as quick as you can without it looking too suspicious. He stands up and walks you to the door. “Yeah, thanks. So I’ll see you in the morning?”
You open his front door and turn to look at him. “You bet!”
You shut the door behind you and high tail it to Nat’s room.
Just as you're about to knock, the door opens. Nat looks startled that you’re standing there. “Y/N, hey. I thought you’d be with Steve.”
You push her back inside and slam the door shut. “I was with Steve. And guess what, Nat? He ended things between us. He’s asking Sharon out again. Says he thinks there’s still something there.”
Nat pulls you into a hug. “Even after you told him how you felt? I’m going to kick his ass.” She pulls away and heads towards the door.
“Wait, Nat. No, I didn’t get the chance to tell him. After he told me he wanted to end things I couldn’t do it. He wants to be with her. I just want him to be happy. And if that doesn’t include me then so be it.” You’re doing your best to not cry.
She rolls her eyes. “Oh come on. Don’t cry on me now. I mean it’s not like they made it work the first time. I’ll give it 2 weeks before they break up. Then you can tell him how you feel!”
Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes. “You’re insane if you think I’m telling him anything now. And I’m not betting on his relationship to fail.”
She puts her hands on your shoulders. “Trust me, bug. In a few weeks this’ll all be over and you’ll be in his arms instead.” She winks at you.
“All right, Sharon and I have an announcement to make! We wanted you guys to be the first to know since you’re our family. We’re getting married!”
You were going to kill Nat. 6 months ago she told you this wouldn’t last. Now here you were in the middle of one of Tony’s extravagant parties, hearing Steve’s engagement announcement.
You could feel your heart shattering into pieces. Because of course you still loved him. Those feelings haven’t gone away. You blink back your tears as you hurriedly search the crowd for Nat. You find her and she’s already giving you an apologetic look.
You had to get out of there before the tears fell. You turn around and head towards the elevators as quick as you can. You need some air. You get in and turn in time to see Steve looking at you with confusion. The doors close before your tears fall. Thank god. You hated crying and especially in front of people. You push the button for the roof. You let yourself have a good cry until the doors open again, signaling your arrival.
You head over to the railing and look out at the grounds. You never should’ve agreed to that whole friends with benefits thing. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t be in this mess.
You wipe your tears away on the back of your hand.
About 10 minutes pass before you hear the elevator doors open. “So this is where you ran off to.”
You whip your head around to meet Steve’s blue eyes. He walks toward you and leans on the railing next to you. “Why’d you take off? They brought out champagne to celebrate. I know how much you love champagne.”
You chance a glance at him, hoping it’s dark enough that he can’t tell you’ve been crying. “Yeah, I just needed some air. Sorry about that. Why did you follow me? Shouldn’t you be with your new fiancée?”
He smiles at that. “Yeah well you looked upset. I wanted to make sure you were okay. And she’s busy showing everyone her ring anyways. Probably doesn’t even realize I’m gone.”
You return his smile. “Well, I’m happy for you. If anyone deserves their happy ending, it’s you.”
He pulls you into a hug. “Really? You mean that?”
You pull away and step back. You can feel the tears coming again. “Of course I do, Steve. You’ve done so much. You deserve all the happiness you can find.”
“Thanks, Y/N. That really means a lot.”
You turn and look out at the grounds again. “So, have you guys set a date yet?”
He chuckles and turns to stare out at the grounds with you. “Actually yeah. We’re getting married in 2 weeks.”
You turn towards him with wide eyes. “Holy shit, Steve! 2 weeks! Are you crazy? What’s the rush? That’s a whole lot of planning in such a short amount of time.”
He looks at you and rubs the back of his neck. “I know. But Sharon wants to get married at the Plaza. The only date available anytime soon is in 2 weeks. It was either that or we had to wait 3 years for the next available date. I even pulled the Captain America card. That’s what got us the spot we have now.”
“Wow, well good luck with that.” You pat him on the shoulder.
“Actually I was wondering if you could help out? I’m going to ask everyone to pitch in. I know it’s a tall order but with everyone on board, I know we can make it work.”
“Of course. Whatever you need me to do. But I really have to pee so I think I’m gonna go.” You start heading back towards the elevator. “Just let me know what needs to be done!” You step inside the doors as soon as they open and push the button to make the doors close before he can follow.
You cry as you descend to your floor. You can’t believe Steve’s getting married. You should’ve just told him how you felt. Maybe he would’ve chosen you. You scoffed at yourself. ‘Yeah right. Chosen me over Sharon Carter. Get real. I’ll never be in her league.’ You think as the doors open.
You hurry to your door, not surprised to see Nat standing there.
“There you are! Are you okay?” She opens her arms and lets you fall into them. You cry on her shoulder. She rubs her hand up and down your back. “Come on, let’s get you inside. Nobody needs to see you like this.” You pull away from her and open your door with your key.
Once inside you let loose. “What the actual fuck, Nat! You gave it 2 weeks! Well guess what? They’re getting married in 2 weeks! Yeah! Apparently Sharon just has to get married at the Plaza and that was the only date available.”
“I’m sorry, bug. I really didn’t think they would last. Let alone get married. I really thought he loved you too!”
“Can you just not right now? We were both wrong. I admit I was also hoping it wouldn’t last long. But it’s done, it’s over. Can we just not talk about it anymore?” You had raised your voice, letting the tears continue to fall.
She just gives you a sympathetic look. “Sure, Y/N. Let’s talk about something else. Did you happen to see who Sam was getting all cozied up to?”
You smile and wipe your tears away yet again and engage in the gossip with your best friend. You give her a hug and apologize for yelling.
The next 2 weeks flew by.
You and Nat were currently on your way back to the compound from Sharon’s bachelorette party. She had invited all the girls so you decided it was a great opportunity to get drunk. Even Nat let loose and had too many.
You were in the elevator with her on the way to your floor. You were leaning on each other and laughing at god knows what. The doors open and you both stumble out. You manage to catch yourself on the wall but Nat falls to the ground.
“Oh, shhiiit, babe! You ok?” You slur as you attempt to pick her up. Thank god Sam and Steve choose this time to turn the corner.
“Nat! Dammit are you ok?” Sam asks as he helps her up. She leans against him and starts laughing. “Willssoon! I need to pee really bad. Take me to my room!” She points in the wrong direction. Sam turns to Steve. “I’ll take this one if you take that one?” He nods his head in your general direction. You’re still laughing at Nat falling down. Steve nods. “I got her.” He turns towards you as Sam navigates Nat to her room.
“Hey there, Y/N. You have a little too much to drink?” He asks as he goes to grab your waist. You flinch away at his touch and almost fall down in the process. “Don’t you have your ‘fiancée’ to take care of?”
Steve rolls his eyes at you. “She’s staying with a friend tonight. The wedding is tomorrow and we’re not supposed to see each other. Now let me help you get to your room please.”
He goes to grab for your waist again and this time you let him. All you want to do is sleep and you know he’ll get you to your bed faster. It takes him no time at all to help you to your door and again help you unlock it since you couldn’t seem to get the key in the lock. He leads you inside and sits you on the couch. “You need to drink some water and take some pain pills. You stay here and I’m going to go get those for you.”
“Thanks, Stevie. Always doing the right thing. Always choosing the right girlfriends. I knew that’d never be me.” You kick your heels off as best you can and wrap yourself in your blanket on the couch.
Steve comes back with the water and pills. “What do you mean it would never be you? What are you talking about?”
You snatch the pills out of his hand and swallow them down with the water he offered you. “I just knew I’d never be your girlfriend. Nat lied to me. She told me you felt the same about me. But I knew deep down you didn’t. Why would you? I’m just Y/N. You’re Steve! Handsome, amazing, funny Steve. And it doesn’t hurt that you’re the best I’ve ever and will ever have in bed. And you have a really nice penis.” You start giggling as you lay down. Sleep was starting to take over.
Steve crouches down and touches your cheek. “How do you feel about me, Y/N?”
You smile sadly at him. “Why I love you, Steve. But that doesn’t matter. You have Sharon. Your happy ending.” You close your eyes and feel yourself going under.
Steve sits back and stares at your now sleeping form. You love him. Did you mean it? He’d always heard from a drunk mind comes a sober heart.
He could feel his heart rate increase. What did this mean? You loved him? Why didn’t you ever tell him? Wait. Why was he worried about this? He was getting married tomorrow. He should be worried about the wedding going smoothly.
He shook his head and stood up to head back to his room. You couldn’t have meant it. You were drunk. You didn’t know what you were saying.
Those were the thoughts swimming around Steve’s mind as he tried to catch some sleep.
You wake up on your couch. ‘Huh, I don’t remember getting to my room last night’ You think as you grab your phone to check the time. It’s 11. The wedding starts at 1. Shit. If you were going to make it on time you needed to start getting ready. Did you even want to go?
Just then you hear a knock on your door. You throw your blanket off of you and go to see who it is.
You open your door to reveal Nat with 2 cups of coffee. “Here, thought you might need this. Do you feel as bad as I do?”
You take a sip of the coffee. “Actually, no. I feel fine. Although I don’t remember getting back to my room last night.”
“Oh, yeah. I ran into Sam in the kitchen. Steve helped you to your room. Sam helped me to mine. Apparently I fell down and you were laughing at me.”
You snort into your coffee. “Sorry. But that explains why I don’t feel bad. Steve always makes me drink water and take pain meds when I drink too much and I always wake up feeling ok.”
She glares at you. “At least he was nice enough to do that. Sam just dropped me inside my door and left. I woke up on the floor this morning. He thinks it’s hilarious. That’s ok, I’ll remember this the next time he gets shit faced. So you want me to pick you up at 12:30 and we can go together?”
“Actually I don’t think I’m going. I know it’s going to piss Steve off but I don’t think I can watch him get married. It’ll hurt too much.”
“Okay then I’m staying here with you.”
“No you’re not. You’re going. We don’t need Steve mad at both of us.”
“But you’re my best friend. Rogers will get over it. I want to be here for you.” She grabs your hand and gives it a squeeze.
“That’s really sweet but I’ll really be ok. How about you leave the reception early and sneak a bottle of champagne back and we’ll share it?” You smile at her.
“Okay deal. But I’m only going to stay until they cut the cake. I’ll bring you a piece along with the champagne.” She gives you a wink and heads toward the door. “I know that today is hard for you, bug. Just remember that I love you.”
You smile and blow her a kiss. “I love you too! Now go on and get ready before you’re late.”
As soon as she closes the door behind her you let the tears fall. You knew today would be hard. You just hope he’d eventually forgive you for missing his wedding.
You go take a shower and change into some pajama shorts and a shirt you’d stolen from Steve. Your heart was hurting and all you wanted to do was lay in bed.
You crawl under the covers and hope that sleep will claim you and give you some relief from the pain.
You’re startled awake by a pounding on your door. You glance at your clock and see that it’s 12:55. Nat. She must've decided to skip the wedding. You throw the covers off of you and hurry to the door.
“Nat, I told you to go to the wedding, I’m fine.” You say as you open the door. But it’s not Nat’s green eyes looking at you. It’s Steve’s blue ones. He’s standing there in his tux with the tie undone.
“Steve? Uh, pretty sure you’re getting married in like 5 minutes. What are you doing here?”
“Can I come in? I just called off my wedding so I’m pretty sure I have some angry people looking for me.”
Your eyes widen but you step aside to let him in. “Wait. Why did you call off your wedding?”
He turns around and puts his hands on his hips as he looks at you. “Did you mean what you said?”
You furrow your brows and cross your arms over your chest. “Mean what, Steve?”
“Last night. You don’t remember what you told me?”
You search through your brain for any recollection. “Um, no. Care to enlighten me?”
He takes a step toward you. “You told me you love me. I need to know if that’s true.”
Your eyes widen. God damn tequila. You knew you should’ve stopped after 4 shots.
“Well since it’s apparently out in the open, yes. It is true. Of course I love you.” You can feel your hands shaking. Nervous about what he’ll say.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“I was going to! But then you told me you were going to ask out Sharon so I knew I didn’t stand a chance.”
He furrows his brows. “What? Why wouldn’t you?”
You turn away from him as you speak. “Because, she’s perfect. She’s beautiful, funny, a total sweetheart. She’d give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. She’s considerate of others. I couldn’t compete with that.” You wrap your arms around yourself. You can once again feel tears welling up.
Steve walks up and turns you around to face him, placing his hands on your shoulders. “Yeah, you’re absolutely right, Y/N. She is all of those things and even more. But do you know what she’s not?” He brings his left hand and cups your cheek. “She’s not you.”
Your breath catches, your heart rate increases. “Wh-what? What are you saying Steve?”
He just smiles at you and pulls you closer. “I’m saying that it’s not her that I love. It’s you. It just took me awhile and your drunken confession to figure it out. I’m sorry it took me so long. I think I’ve always loved you.”
Now the tears are falling for a completely different reason. You reach up and thread your fingers through his hair. “God, you have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say that.”
He smiles and leans in and presses his lips to yours for a sweet kiss. You gladly reciprocate and smile into it.
Steve groans and pulls you flush up against him. One hand on your cheek, the other on your lower back.
You barely pull away, your lips still touching. “Steve, make love to me please.”
He pulls back a little more to look you in the eye. “Y/N, are you sure? That wasn’t my intention when I came here.”
You nod your head. “I know it wasn’t. But we’ve only ever fucked before. I’ve always wanted to know what it would be like to make love instead. So please?” You give him your best puppy dog eyes.
He lightly chuckles before pulling you back in for another kiss, this one more urgent than the last.
You pull him as close to you as possible and start walking backwards towards your bed.
Once you feel your mattress hit the back of your knees you break the kiss for some much needed air.
You waste no time and start undoing the buttons of Steve’s dress shirt. He takes his jacket off and starts unbuckling his belt to help you along. You lift up on your tiptoes to steal another kiss once you get the shirt unbuttoned. You push it off his shoulders and run your hands down his muscular chest. You quickly unbutton his slacks and pull those along with his briefs down his toned legs until they are pooling at his ankles. He quickly kicks them and his shoes off. You take this opportunity and grab his hard, aching cock and start stroking him up and down.
He groans and pushes you away and grabs the hem of his your shirt and gives you a look. “Are you sure you want to do this, Y/N? I’m willing to wait.”
You shake your head continuing your slow strokes. “That’s nice and very noble of you, Steve, but I’m not.”
He shakes his head with a smile and pulls the shirt over your head and drops it into the growing pile of clothes. He pushes you down on the bed and climbs on top of you, stopping once he gets to your exposed breasts. He looks up at you as he takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking and biting lightly. That’s all it takes to get you to start squirming under him. He takes his right hand and moves it between your bodies until it’s settled at your clothed core. He starts rubbing your slit, your wetness soaking through your shorts and onto his hand. “Steve, please, no teasing. Just need to feel you.”
He grunts and sits back on his haunches and gazes down at you. “So goddamn beautiful. I don’t deserve you.” He hooks his fingers into your shorts and pulls them down and off your legs, tossing them somewhere behind him.
“I could say the same about you, handsome.”
He smiles down at you and gives his cock a few languid strokes before moving back over you, leaning in for another heated kiss. He rubs his tip over your soaked slit, making sure to get nice and coated. “You ready, sweetheart? Ready for me to fill you up?”
You whine and mewl underneath him. “Yes, Steve, please.” You buck your hips and rub up against his cock causing the both of you to let out a moan. Steve pushes the head of his cock against your heat and slowly pushes in. You whimper at the stretch and pull him down for a kiss. He grabs your right hand and places it beside your head, intertwining your fingers as he bottoms out inside of you.
You throw your head back and moan his name, feeling so nice and full. He takes his right hand and cups your cheek, making you look at him. “Are you ready for me to move, sweetheart?” You can only nod as you roll your hips against his, needing some friction.
He pulls out slowly until just his tip remains before slowly gliding back in. He keeps up his leisurely pace, making you feel every drag of his cock against your walls. You wrap one leg around his hip, making him go even deeper. You plant your other foot on the bed and meet his thrusts. “That’s it, sweetheart. Pull me in deeper. You like feeling me stretch you out? Like me filling you up over and over?”
You moan out and grip his hand tighter. “Yes, Steve! Please. Harder. Need it harder.”
He happily fills your request and starts thrusting into you with more force, causing your body to move up the bed. You remove the hand that was tangled in his hair and place it on the headboard above you, keeping yourself from hitting it. “Fuck, Steve. Yes! Please don’t stop!”
He starts kissing up your neck, his thrusts never faltering. “I’m not gonna stop until you fall apart underneath me, Y/N.”
You shiver at his words. You can feel the coil in your belly threatening to snap at any moment. He leans down so his mouth is next to your ear. “I can feel you squeezing me, pretty girl. You gonna come for me? Come on, Y/N. Come all over my cock.”
You shake your head and move so you lock eyes with him. “No, don’t wanna come. Feels too good. I want it to last.” He just smiles and leans in for a kiss before pulling away to look into your eyes again. “Come on, Y/N. Wanna feel you come. Please?”
You moan at his begging. You can feel your legs shaking from holding back. You just want to last a little longer.
He moves his mouth back down to your ear. “I’ve got you, sweet girl. Come for me. I love you so much, Y/N.”
That was your undoing. The coil snaps and you come apart. A tear escapes at the intense orgasm and from Steve’s words.
Steve only lasts a few more thrusts before he pushes his face into the crook of your neck and comes with your name on his lips. His body gives out and he falls on top of you, careful not to put all of his weight on you.
He smiles into your neck and places a sweet kiss there. You sigh in pure happiness and run your fingers through his hair. You both stay like that for a few minutes with him still buried deep inside you, enjoying the intimate moment too much to move.
He lifts his head and gazes down at you with a big smile on his face. “That was amazing. The best sex we’ve ever had.” You nod in agreement. “It really was. We’re gonna need to do that again.” You giggle as he playfully rolls his eyes at you. “You’re insatiable.” You shake your head. “No, I’m in love.” He smiles and pulls you in for another kiss.
Suddenly a thought pops into your head and you pull away. “What if I would’ve said no?” He gives you a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”
“What if I didn’t love you? What if I had just been drunk and was saying stupid things?”
He just shrugs his shoulders. “I guess I was just really hoping you meant it.”
“You called off your wedding on hope?”
He shakes his head. “No, I called off my wedding because I realized that Sharon wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted you.”
You feel tears well up in your eyes again. “I love you so much, Steve.”
He leans down for another kiss. “I love you, too. You’re more than just a negotiation to me, Y/N. I hope you know that.”
You nod your head and cup his cheek. “I know that now.”
He tucks some hair behind your ear and whispers, “You’re my happy ending, Y/N.”
The tears fall at his admission and you pull him down for another perfect kiss. Glad to finally be wrapped in the arms of your love.
#shamelesshoesforchris#steve rogers#steve rogers smut#captain america#chris evans smut#chris evans#smut#steve rodgers x reader#steve rogers x reader#Cici91 writes
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Imagine that no power AU where Natasha falls for this cute artsy girl and slowly finds out (to her horror) that Wanda's not just some random artsy crafts girl who plays guitar, but the (adopted) Granddaughter of the owner of the company Natasha works for. As in oh, oh no, that's Carter's grandbaby, Carter's gonna kill me.
baby carter
Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff (scarlet widow \ wandanat)
warnings: cursing? Terrible grammar and writing maybe because my brain's having hard time.
A\N: soft scarlet widow- Natasha being awkward and charming and Wanda being absolutely adorable. also, I honestly don't know what I feel bout it - I think it's kinda messy especially compared to my latest work.
words: idk... a lot?
masterlist
Natasha's been working in carter's Law Firm for almost 3 years now, slowly climbing up the company's hierarchical food chain, yet not enough to get the well-deserved promotion she was aching to get.
Not that she was ungrateful, hell no. not long after she graduated she got the job in carter's, which was one of the best and strongest law firms in the market. This means that not only that she found herself working alongside some of the best lawyers in the world, she truly couldn't complain about the paycheck she was getting every month.
Natasha wasn't ungrateful, but she was driven and she knew she was great at her job, hell, she was the best young lawyer in her class, yet, after 3 years in the firm, she was still working under Coulson. Which naturally means, she did a lot of dirty work instead of representing her own cases. Working with Coulson was great, really, the man was nice, sweet, a bit nerdy at times, and of course, such a great lawyer. Looking back, Natasha should give him credit for many things she achieved in the last 3 years, and one of them was meeting the love of her life- the one and only Wanda Maximoff.
One Thursday evening, as she was just finishing up some paperwork at the firm's office in New York, she got a call from Coulson, who let her know they were cutting the day short following personal constraints.
Instead of going straight home to rest after the brutal week, as she probably should've done, she decided to text Steve and Tony to see if they were free. luckily for her, her two best friends were willing to sacrifice any plans they had for this fine Thursday night, to celebrate the rare occasion of Natasha getting out of the firm before 8 pm.
The bar steve chose was nice, rather quiet and chill. Naturally, tony didn't seem to be a fan of the blonde's choice, but since it was Steve's turn to choose a place there wasn't much he could've done about it.
"We should sit near the stage" Steve said as he spotted an empty table at the other side of the bar, near the stage.
"What's wrong with you rogers? Do you want us to sit near the stage where random people will try to squick their hearts out to a Celine Dion song?" Tony sneered out, his eyes shooting daggers at the blonde as they sat.
"It's not a karaoke bar, tony" Natasha defended steve's choice.
"Yeah, this bar hosts young talented artists, I think it's awesome and refreshing" the blonde explained.
"I still hate it" tony said.
"We don't care" Natasha said as a waitress came to the table.
Over an hour and a half later, 3 performances were over and two bawls of fries as well, the next artist got onto the stage.
The woman was young, probably younger than Natasha, and beautiful.
She was dressed rather simply compared to the other artists, just a plain white T and an old pair of skinny jeans.
Natasha noticed that some strands of her dark brown hair got stuck under her red guitar's strap.
The woman was smiling nervously as she introduced herself to the crowd and Natasha couldn't help but send her an encouraging small smile.
Surprisingly for her, the woman smiled back.
Tony and steve noticed it as well and they exchanged knowing looks.
The singer's voice was almost as beautiful as her.
Her fingers softly strumming on the frets- as almost as it was second nature, while her soft angelic voice filled the room, sending chills through Natasha's body.
Natasha smiled when she noticed how quiet the bar became, everyone seemed to be enchanted by the young singer.
When the singer finished her preference she smiled brightly to the audience, who cheered for her loudly- as she deserved, and got off the stage.
Natasha noticed the poor singer who was supposed to try and top her incredible performance. He seemed miserable.
"Earth to nat!?" Tony waved his hand in front of Natasha. The redhead blinked twice before tearing her attention from the singer and to her friends.
Steve was smiling at her, his eyes glittering in enthusiasm, while tony smirked at her with raised eyebrows.
"I'm sorry, what?" She asked.
Steve laughed and tony sigh.
"We said that she was really good" the blonde explained
"Not that you haven't noticed it, you've been practically drooling," Tony said.
"I was not" she defended herself
"You were," he said. "But we don't judge you Romanoff, its natural, she was pretty and you didn't get laid in a while. Plus- You always had a thing for the innocent looking ones" he explained and Natasha sent him her dirtiest glare.
If a look could kill tony stark would've been dead by now.
"Okay first, I wasn't drooling. Second, fuck you"
"Nice comeback" tony taunted her with a smirk, knowing full well he wasn't completely wrong.
"You should ask her out. You seem to like her"
Steve smiled at her and Natasha knew he meant it- he was was always the sweetest one of the three.
"Fancy her" tony corrected steve.
"She Like her" steve raised his eyebrow at his friend.
"Fancy" tony taunted
"Li-" steve was about to argue again until Natasha cut the stupid argument off.
"Fuck off you too," she said and waved to the waiter, hoping that another beer might make the two less annoying.
When the waiter didn't come, Natasha got frustrated, her two friends started to argue over another idiotic thing: steve's lack of love life and tony's girlfriend's lack of taste In men.
"I'm gonna get a refill," she said as she got up. The two sent her quick okays before getting back to their bickering.
When Natasha approached the bar she noticed a familiar face.
The singer was sitting in front of the bar's counter with a glass of mojito. She seemed to be having a polite conversation with the bartender.
"Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt but can I have a refill?" Natasha asked the bartender. The man smiled at her and nodded before he replaced her empty cup with a new one.
The singer smiled at her softly again- Natasha smiled nervously at her.
"I'm Natasha" Natasha said awkwardly to the girl, her cheeks flushed.
Wanda smiled back at her "hey Natasha, I'm Wanda" Wanda, the singer said as she held out her hand for a handshake.
Natasha took her hand, praying to whatever god exist that her hand wasn't sweaty.
'What's wrong with me?' She thought as she mentally faces palmed herself.
"I liked your performance," Natasha said and Wanda smiled at her.
Natasha smiled back, happy she had the privilege to be the reason the singer smiled.
"Thank you" wanda thanked her.
"I saw you at the front line," Wanda said and Natasha nodded.
"Yeah, my friend likes this place. He chose the table" she admitted.
"That's nice, I'm guessing it's your first time in here"
"Yeah, it is actually. Was I that obvious?" Natasha joked and Wanda laughed.
"Just a little bit," Wanda said with a smile "what do you think about it so far?"
"It's really nice, honestly" Natasha admitted.
"Yeah, I think that as well. I come here often with my cousin and brother but its the first time I was on stage"
"Well, you were great. Seriously. You were" she started before gazing at the stage briefly, catching the sight of the young singer who went up after Wanda. "sorry, are- the best singer" she continued and Wanda blushed.
"Thank you it means a lot"
"Anytime," Natasha said back
"I should really go... It was lovely meeting you Natasha." Wanda said as she checked the time, a small frown on her lips.
"You too," Natasha said.
Wanda nodded at her before getting up and turning around from Natasha to pull her guitar.
when Natasha took a small sip from her beer she catches the bartender's eye.
The guy was giving her the 'are you kidding me?!' look- who was a well-known look she was familiar with from years of friendship with tony.
"Hey Wanda-" Natasha said to Wanda, who was about to walk away. The singer turned back around with a small confused smile.
"Yeah?" She asked
"Would you like to, maybe, I don't know.. go out sometime?" Natasha stuttered.
'Did I just fucking stuttered!?' She mentally kicked herself.
"Yeah.. id like that" Wanda said with a smile. The brunette took a pen out of her jeans pocket and scribble something on Natasha's arm.
"Call me," Wanda said with a smile before she smiled at the bartender, who tried to look busy with anything but them.
"Bye bucky" she laughed at his antics and left.
Natasha looked up from the scrabble on her hand, who was- of course Wanda's number with a small heart at the bottom, and exchange looks with bucky the bartender.
"That went well, right?" She asked him dumbfounded and he laughed before handing her a shot glass with vodka.
"Yeah it did.. friendly advice, don't fuck it up" he said as passed her a slice of lemon.
Natasha downed the shot, nodded at him as she took her beer, and left the lemon on the counter. Her legs taking her back to her table. both of her friends were staring at her with wide eyes.
"Hell yeah Romanoff!" Tony said excitedly.
Natasha smiled at tony before looking at steve with a chuckle "the bartender is your type" she said as she set.
Steve gave her a 'are you kidding me look before his eyes traveled from her to the bartender at the bar.
----------------------ᱬ----------------------
Not long after Natasha and Wanda met again, a few times actually. 10 minutes into their first date, Natasha knew she was in trouble.
Wanda was completing Natasha on almost every level she thought about.
Wanda was carefree and dorky as Natasha was a stressed workaholic.
Wanda liked homemade meals and cooking while Natasha was practically living on boxed mac and cheese or takeout.
Natasha loved to binge movies and random tv shows into the night while Wanda liked getting up early to watch the sunrise.
Wanda loved fruity alcoholic drinks while Natasha preferred it clean.
Wanda was a splash of color in Natasha's black and white life.
Not long after, Natasha asked wanda to be her girlfriend- it happened in a month and a half after their first meeting as the two women laid in Wanda's bed, naked and sweaty with their limbs intertwined.
She could've done it more romantic, but both girls truly couldn't give a damn about it.
Wanda's apartment was incredible.
The studio apartment was big and bright.
The apartment's walls color was cream and the tall window frames were covered with white curtains.
In the beginning, Natasha didn't really understand why wanda even bother to use these curtains since the sun would light the room either way, (she found out about this terrible trait when she first stayed over and found herself awake and cursing under her breath at 7 am) But, luckily for her, Natasha learned rather fast why the younger girl's windows where ALWAYS covered. It was simple, really.
Wanda had this habit to walk around the apartment half-naked, or completely naked on better days, and as much as Natasha was grateful for that (and she was), she truly wasn't the one to share, especially not the image of her naked girlfriend as she walked around the apartment or squirmed under her touch on the bed- or anywhere they chose, really.
"Nat?" Wanda whispered softly as she was playing with her sleepy girlfriend's hair and spread soft kisses on her back.
"Hm?" Natasha hummed, half asleep.
"There's something I need to tell you" Wanda said softly. Her voice barely a whisper.
"Is everything okay, baby?" Natasha asked as she turned around to face the taller woman.
Natasha's eyebrows were tightened together in worry and Wanda couldn't help but kiss her on the nose.
"Yeah" she whispered and Natasha waited patiently for her to continue "it's just that.. there's something I need to tell you... about my family"
"Okay.." Natasha encouraged her to continue.
"My family-" she started, but got cut off by Natasha's phone buzzing on the nightstand.
"Fuck" Natasha cursed before turning around to check who it was- and if she can ignore it.
The name on the screen was definitely a sight she could not ignore.
"Just a second baby, it's my boss" she said as she pulled herself up to answer the phone. by doing so, Natasha missed wanda's guilty lip bite.
----------------------ᱬ----------------------
That's how things went for another month. In this month Natasha got the promotion she wanted which meant she was enthusiastic for days later- and Wanda couldn't bear the thought of ruining it for her.
And that's how it went overtime.
Every time Wanda manage to muster enough courage to tell Natasha whatever she wanted to say, something happened and ruined it.
But jean Racine was indeed right: 'there are no secrets that time does not reveal', and unfortunately for both women, wanda's secret got revealed in a rather unpleasant and awkward situation.
It was a pretty normal day for Natasha.
Or at least it started as one. she spent the night at Wanda's again, which means she had a hard time leaving bed in the morning but she managed it so now, a few hours later, she was having lunch at a deserted meeting room with a few friends from the office
"hey, nat.. is that your girlfriend??" Sam asked, his eyes following a girl who passes near the glass door.
"Wanda?" Natasha asked him confused.
They weren't supposed to meet today for lunch, didn't they?
"Do you have another girlfriend I'm not aware of?" He asked
"Shut up Wilson, why would Wanda be here!?"
"I don't know Romanoff, she's your girlfriend. All I can say is that she seemed to be in a deep conversation with Sharon"
"Carter?"
"the one and only" Carol whispered and Gamora rolled her eyes at the girl.
"Will you stop being weird?" Gamora asked and Carol shook her head.
"Why would she have a conversation with Sharon fucking Carter" Natasha asked confused
"Maybe you should ask her...?” the man asked
"Oh shit I think they're coming over here, pretend to be busy," Carol said as she dived back into her salad.
The others do the same as well.
A few moments later the glass door was pulled open by Sharon.
Her smile wide.
"Hey guys" Sharon said as she opened the door and git into the room, wanda following behind-
Probably unaware of her girlfriend's presence until moments later when their eyes met.
Wanda looked like she was about to die.
"Wanda?" Natasha asked. Her eyebrows knitted together.
"Wait, You know each other?" Sharon asked as she turned to the brunette
"Yeah-" she started
"How do you guys know each other" Natasha cut her girlfriend off. Her eyes were still wide with confusion.
"We're cousins" the blonde explained and Wanda bit her lip.
Natasha stared at her girlfriend, hoping to get an explanation from her.
"Wait how do you to know each other"
"She's my girlfriend," Wanda said softly as Natasha got up from her chair.
Sharon's eyes were wide "didn't see that coming" she muttered
"Tell me about that" Natasha said, more to her girlfriend than to her boss.
"I'm going out for a smoke," she said simply before leaving the room.
"Nat-" Wanda started as she followed her, leaving the other remaining members of the room confused.
"Really?" Sharon asked again.
"Well, that was something," sam said and gamora nodded.
"That's classic," Carol said as she quietly laughed to herself
Meanwhile, at the elevator, things were going less smoothly for the couple.
"You're my boss's niece and you didn't think about telling me this?" Natasha shot at Wanda as the elevator door opened and the two went outside.
"I was trying to tell you, nat. I swear. That was the thing I tried to tell you about this whole month But every time I tried to something happened" Wanda explained as Natasha lit her cigarette.
"Why didn't you say anything when we started dating and got to know each other?" Natasha asked.
The lawyer wasn't sure if she was more hurt by the fact Wanda kept this secret from her or terrified by the fact she was dating her boss's niece
"Because I didn't want you to look at me the way you look at me right now" Wanda defended herself.
"How do I look at you wanda?" Natasha asked hurt.
"Like I'm no longer the same artsy girl you met at the bar" Wanda whispered
Natasha laughed bitterly
"Come on Wanda you know I don't give a shit about it. I love you and the fact you're a carter won't change it. You are the same artsy girl from the bar, who happened to be my boss's nephew. You should've said something."
"You're right, I shouldn't have kept this away from you. It was destined to get out eventually and the last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you" Wanda took the cigarette out of Natasha's lips.
"I made a mistake and I can't change it."
Wanda continued and Natasha sigh
"I wanted you to know me, and I was scared you'll judge me or see me as a carter like most people do."
Wanda put her hand on Natasha's cheek and Natasha kissed her palm, encouraging her to continue her speech.
"Fuck, nat, I'm not even in this business- yeah they're my family but that's it. the only other connection I have to this firm is the fact I'm in love with one of its lawyers" Natasha's eyes lit up and Wanda blushed furiously.
"You're in love with me?" Natasha asked as she played pulled her girlfriend closer, A small cocky smile on her lips as Wanda rolled her eyes
"For someone so fucking smart you can be so dense sometimes," Wanda said and Natasha laughed "Of course I do moron."
"I love you too," Natasha said before kissing Wanda softly on the lips.
"Can you forgive me, then?"
"It depends," Natasha said with the best poker straight face she could muster.
"On?" Wanda asked with her eyebrow raised.
"Is there any other relative- who can fire my ass, I need to know about?"
Wanda smiled kissed Natasha's lips deeply.
"No!" She said when they broke away and the two laughed.
Natasha wiped away the younger woman's tears before kissing her lips again. This time softly.
"Good, now if you don't mind maximoff. My break's over and I should really get back before your cousin will fire my ass"
"Well technically.. she's my cousin in law, I'm peggy's grandchild, adopted one, and she's her nephew" Wanda explained
"Can she fire my ass?" Natasha asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Well.. yeah..?"
"Then my point still stands.
"Shut up Romanoff! you and I both know Sharon won't' fire your ass' because you're the best lawyer in this damn place" wanda argued
"Who fucks her cousin..-"
"You're right.. she might fire you" wanda joked and took her girlfriend's hand in hers.
"Or murder me" Natasha continued as her girlfriend pulled her back into the building and to the elevator.
"Yeah" Wanda laughed when they got into the elevator and the doors closed.
Wanda kissed Natasha's lips softly before pressing the button of their destined floor. "Or murder you"
#Scarlet Witch#Scarlet Widow#scarletwidow#Black Widow#natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff#wandanat#wanda x natasha#natasha x wanda#Scarlett Johansson#Elizabeth Olsen#Steve Rogers#Bucky Barnes#tony stark#sam wilson#gamora#Carol Danvers#sharon carter#peggy carter
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Intense Feelings (One-shot)
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Smut, slight!Angst
Summary: Meeting someone you barely knew in high school shocks you but what really made everything so crazy is how you forgot saving his life.
Rating: 18+ (If the warnings trigger you please don’t read.)
Warnings: penetrative sex, oral sex (both receiving), overstimulation, sex, slight!choking, slight!dirty talk, slight!possessiveness, depression, mention of attempt on suicide.
Word Count: 3.5k
Notes: It’s been such a long time since I posted, I wanted to surprise with a one-shot with out saying anything! Hope you enjoy it babies.
The bartender filled your empty glass with what seemed to be his best whisky, from a bottle that could at least value at four thousand dollars.
You lifted your head to meet his gaze. “I didn’t order this.” You muttered. “A beauty such as yourself deserves a glass of the best, on the house.” He winked.
“Does that work on most?” You raised your eyebrow as you crossed your leg. “I don’t try it on most.” He smiled widely. “Well, thank you for the drink.” Feeling a burn caused you to clear your throat.
Inhaling you feel the alcohol surge through your veins, “Why is this place so quiet? I mean it is a club right?” You mumbled leaning into the counter. “Ah. It’s a quiet bar before eight. After that the party starts. You could say that you’re a little early.” He smiled.
“Tell me, what do you do for a living, Miss?” He poured you a little more. “Well, office clerk, my name is Y/N.” You nodded. “I’m Hoseok, the bartender/owner of this club.” He told you as he wiped the counter with a clean cloth.
“It’s rare to see office people come to clubs, I guess most would get dragged into team dinners and whatnot.” He smiled. “Well that’s true. But I guess our department is a little more progressive than most. We don’t have to go when we don’t want to.” You explained.
“That must be great. I have a friend that usually sneaks out of college get togethers. Not that they invite him anymore. He claims it to be so boring.” You really did enjoy the fact that he talked to you even though it was awkward small talk.
You struggled communicating with others. You always wanted to start conversations but it sometimes gets too hard at how shy you are, or the fact that people just start talking to others before you could gather the courage to start a conversation.
In the office, you usually talk when someone talks to you first and it never was about you. They need you to just do office stuff and it didn’t necessarily hurt your feelings but it did disappoint you though.
People were never interested in the quiet clerk that just focuses on her work. They probably thought you were just here to only work and nothing more or less. What disappointed you was the fact they didn’t even try to change that.
The team had a strong connection with one and another as they visibly show their friendship almost all the time. You weren’t a part of that. You didn’t really have a big friends group growing so it wasn’t something you weren’t used to.
“Talk about the devil and he shows up.” You snapped out of your thoughts. Once you turned back you saw him. He wore a black Balenciaga t-shirt paired with loose jeans and a flannel barely hanging off his shoulder. You knew him. You went to school with him back in the day.
You can’t say he changed much, Jeon Jungkook, the hottest kid in class, there was a rumor about him being the son of the biggest business man in the city, once it spread he changed schools, allowing most to believe that it was true.
“Hey! Give me a bottle of your coldest beer.” He stood next to your stool. “Here. I can’t believe you arrive the moment I mention you to someone.” Hoseok shook his head as he set the beer on the counter. “You were talking about me?” He looked confused.
“Yeah, to Y/N over here. Y/N this is Jungkook. JK this is Y/N.” He introduced him to you. There was no way that Jungkook was going to remember you from high school. Not that you look that different, it’s just that you lived in two different worlds-
“Y/N! I know you. We went to high school together didn’t we?” He grinned excitedly as he sat on the stool next to yours. “You remember?” Your eyes sparkled in fascination, how can he remember you? He must remember everyone in school to recall that you attended with him.
“Of course I remember you. You were like the nicest person in the school.” He looked as if he was reminiscing. “Wow, but to be honest, I don’t remember us interacting much.” You confessed glancing at your glass.
“That’s awesome! I remember more than you do then!” He laughed as he chugged his drink. “I remember how wonderful of a person you were.” His gaze softened at your shy demeanor.
After a few too many drinks on Jungkook’s side, he got up stumbling a step, his hand gripping your shoulder for support. His cheeks were rosy and eyes were glistening. He suddenly fixed his posture to stand perfectly straight.
His eyes were on yours for a long minute before he wrapped his arms around your head. Face in his torso, you were maybe as confused as you can get. Hoseok hollered his name a couple of times asking him to let go but he wouldn’t. Not necessarily hating the situation you were in you wrapped your small arms around his torso in comfort. Hoseok quieted down staring.
Inhaling his scent you felt nostalgic, as if you’ve done something like this before, was it deja vu? Slowly letting you go he stared at your feature with an unreadable expression. You can’t help feeling breathless at how ethereal he appeared.
Hair gently laying on his forehead, the air around you slowed, lights dimmed as a slight in his eyes was accentuated, and you could see visible fluff in the air pretend to be feathers of his non-existent wings.
Leaning in, his forehead rested against yours for a moment before his lips pressed into yours. You loved the feeling of them pressing against your own as you lace your fingers in his hair to tug him in closing the distance between you two. Jungkook breaks the kiss, pecking your nose before prodding. “Let’s go?” It was a question more than a statement.
He held your hand gently as he helped you out of the door, feeling your cheeks gain color. and stopped walking, halting his movement. He turned to look at you with concern lacing his gaze. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He muttered holding both your hands as he faced you.
“It’s not that… Why me?” You knew that you didn’t really deserve this. “Because it is you. Because ten years ago, I missed my chance to show you how I feel about you.” He leaned pecking your lips then your nose followed by your forehead.
You couldn’t question him any longer. His actions were telling you everything you knew he meant every word just by the warmth he provided you with his touch in that moment.
His apartment wasn’t too far from the club, he lived near the state university. Once you walked into the apartment you slipped off your shoes as you dragged your lips against his neck, moaning in satisfaction he slipped off his boots. “Can I touch you?” His question seemed way too innocent for him.
Your hand pulled his onto your waist. “I’d get sad if you don’t.” His hand massaged your waist as they slowly got lower to your hip. Your forehead patted his. Shortening the gap between he gasped in your lips.
His lips felt different. They were much softer. Your hands held both of his cheeks as you tilted your head to get better access to his wet lips. He let out a soft groan as you slowly pulled his shirt off his body. “I remember you were into basketball back before you left.” You smiled as your fingertips gently ran across his muscled pecs.
“I remember swooning every time I saw you.” You felt warmth grow between your legs. “Me too.” He joked. “Yeah? I guess you were that narcissistic about yourself and honestly I would be if I looked like that.” You pushed him down towards your bed. Hands touching his body, your lips met once more earning a groan from him. You slowly started moving down his neck with your kisses.
He felt his member grow harder as your tongue licked across his abs going down. “Can I?” Your fingers wrapped around the band of his pants. He just nodded wordlessly. He hadn’t really done this before.
Biting down onto his bottom lip at the sight of you pushed his knees apart, heat built up around his crotch as he settled back into the sofa.
You pushed the loose strands of hair back from around your face to fall behind your head, you froze once Jungkook tucked a stray, a strand of your hair behind your ear. A small smirk on his face as he did so.
Your fingertips caressed the denim that covered his thighs, inching towards the zipper of the tight jeans that he wore. Jungkook lifted his hips a little, pulling down his pants revealing the mind-numbing image of his bulge.
Hands already lightly danced over his boxer briefs before you glanced up at him for permission, to which he nodded with hooded eyes and his notorious, taunting raise of an eyebrow.
The sight of his member leaving out of his underwear had your lips parting in awe, saliva gathered in your mouth whole-heartedly at the size of him.
You knew you would not be able to take him whole, but you were willing to try once you had him flushed and on the edge of his high.
Your fingers tentatively slid across his jeans to wrap around the shaft to make up for what your lips could not reach for now. He inhaled sharply as you took him in.
You started to work your mouth and fingers in unison, pumping up and down at an agonisingly slow pace, dragging as much pleasure as you possibly could through the way that your tongue traced delicately around his length, caressed the vein that throbbed eagerly on the underside.
Hollowing your cheeks so that you could suck hard. Your name slipped from his lips deliciously as he lets out a throaty grunt. Hips rolling up into your mouth, making you whimper around him, struggling to refrain from reaching your free fingers between your thighs to satisfy yourself.
Jungkook’s hand that was tangled in the strands of your hair had gone slightly slack with the euphoria that was rushing throughout his limbs, encouraging you to go deeper, harder.
You removed your hand completely from his length, his erection poised readily on its own, noticing the way Jungkook’s eyes unexpectedly widened as moved your lips so far down his length that the tip was nestled against the back of your throat.
A tight swallow had the man crying out, fisting a bundle of your hair for leverage as his body shook with white hot pleasure, rushing down to his length where it coated the inside of your mouth.
Your palms were flat against his thighs, sliding your lips slowly up and down to draw out the high that had shaken him from his core, weakly thrusting into you for more.
When you finally lifted up, you coughed lightly as you inhaled air back into your body, a little dizzy when Jungkook clasped your cheeks between his hands and leaned down to your face.
A shiver of pleasure ran through your spine at the way he ran his tongue from your chin up to your lips, tasting your effort before sealing it with a deep kiss.
His mouth opened your own wide, eager to consume every inch of you with his roaming lips and tongue before he pulled back, the two of you practically breathless.
“That was probably the best blow job that I’ve received. Baby got mouth.” He kissed your giggling lips once more. “I should take care of you too.” His hand traveled to your waist as he helped you stand up. He laid your body on the bed.
His fingers caught the hem of your shirt, “Wait…” You muttered face turning red. “We can stop if you want.” His hand went to pull up his pants. “That’s not it. I just feel self-conscious of my body.” You held onto his hands.
He didn’t really understand. You were perfect, in his eyes at the very least. But he did know better than to push you out of your comfort zone this early in your relationship. He then glanced at your pants for permission. You nodded cheeks flaring even redder.
He had a hard time pulling off your pants. Your hands moved to assist him in removing it. He drags your underwear with your pants in one gesture, Jungkook’s mouth came wet and warm on your pussy, licking your slit and pressing the flat of his tongue on your clit.
His tongue swiped against your slit hard a few times and you moaned, arousal dripping between your legs already. He dug his fingers in the flesh of your thighs to still your moving body and started to suck on your clit, making you arch your back against your soft bed.
Jungkook’s lips then pulled away from your clit to press against your folds, dipping his tongue just the smallest bit inside of you. You let out a shaky breath and shut your eyes, your legs locked around his head as you begin rubbing against his mouth. “I am so close! Kookie!” Your moans get louder.
“Did you just call me Kookie while I’m doing this?” He plunged his fingers into your cunt as he chuckled. “I want to cum with you inside me.” You begged. Your cheeks felt warm and his hand came up to cup your face. He swiped a thumb across it. “I’ll end up wrecking you if you sound like that.”
He ripped a condom wrapper and cased his length in latex. You barely had time to breathe before he shoved his cock inside of you, the stretching burned just enough to make you moan into his neck.
Jungkook pushed himself all the way and stopped, letting out a shuddering moan himself, he didn’t say anything to you, but you knew he’s waiting for you to adjust. Your hands grabbed the sheets as you clenched tightly around his length.
You placed your hand against his chest to make him know that you’re ready for him to move. You lifted your hips up a bit and a shiver shot through you when Jungkook pulled out of you halfway and then slid back in slowly.
At your signal to move, he started at an unforeseen harsh pace, thrusting hard enough to make the bed squeak and rattle. Your back arched once more against the sheets and you didn’t do anything to meet his thrusts, too lightheaded with the pleasure that raised in your abdomen.
He slowed down to kiss your lips. His thrusts became unhurried but deeper against your insides. “If I had known it would feel this good I would’ve asked you out in high school.” He grinned
He started moving again, shoving in and out of you roughly. Jungook’s hand released your cheek and trailed down your chin until the inside of his palm lay on your throat. You let out a shuddering gasp escape your lips when his fingers tightened around your neck, just under your jaw.
“Fuck- you feel too good babe.” He sounded too serious unlike his usual tone as his hand loosens against your neck.
“Jungkook- I’m about to- Fuck I’m cumming.” Jungkook pulled out almost all the way and then started to thrust in and out of you once more, pounding you as hard as he could.
You felt yourself come undone beneath him; you almost screamed when he didn’t stop thrusting, but you clasped your mouth with your hand letting out a whimper. The overstimulation is starting to hurt, but you closed your eyes shut and took it with tears escaping you, knowing it would start to feel good again.
“No one else is allowed to touch you.” You shivered, the possessiveness in his voice making your toes curled and you wrapped your arms around his neck to keep his body near yours as he pounded his hips into you erratically.
“Say it.” he pressed a kiss against your jaw. “Say that you’re only mine.” You bite your lip and shut your eyes as he fucks you. “I’m only yours.” You breathed, “I only want your cock inside me, Jungkook..”
You feel his cock throb and twitch inside you and then he climaxed, white hot cum shot into the latex. You gasped and pushed your hips up toward him while he came. He pulled out removing the condom, his cum shot on your clit. You reached your second orgasm feeling his cum still spilling against your folds.
“Fuck. I might’ve been too serious for our own good.” He went to your bathroom to get a towel. He dropped the towel on your sensitive nether region. Once he tried to clean out his you flinched shivering from your previous overstimulation.
Kookie grinned like a fool at what he had accomplished. Once he threw the towel in his laundry basket, he laid next to you. His arms encased your waist and pulled you closer. “I can’t believe that we did that.” He kissed the top of your head.
-
He was underneath the blanket snuggly holding onto your naked figure. You were honestly scared. You were worried that he might’ve spent the night with you because he was just drunk and nothing more.
You tried to take his arm off of your waist in an attempt to collect your clothes and leave before he woke up, but his groans wrapping his other arm around your waist pulled you into his chest. It’s obvious at this point that he’d wake up if you move.
Slightly shaking him, you felt your heart-rate double. “Jungkook… wake up. I need to go.” He groans a second time and stretches his legs. “Morning.” He smiled with a dazzling dreamy look. “I have to go, can you take your arm off of me.” You tried prying his hand off of you.
“It’s a weekend… you don’t have to go.” He then began to pepper kisses all over your face heading towards your neck. “Okay! Okay! Stop it that tickles.” You laugh. “I thought I was a one night stand.” You mumbled laugh dying down. He suddenly jumps into a sitting position. “What? Of course not. I care about you and I have since high school.” He held you close once more.
“Is there something that happened in high school that I completely erased from my memory. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to invalidate your feelings but what is it that you remember?” You held his hand.
His arms relaxed as he pulled you back into bed. Holding you ever so gently you sighed, you honestly could get used to this. “Well, I’ve seen you in school a couple of times. You wouldn’t really talk to me or my group of friends, like most would do. I found that unusual yet I didn’t care enough to talk to you.
Then, the whole rumor about me and my family started going around. My friends became two-faced and tried buttering me up for their own gain. I won’t get into details of what happened with my family at that time, some horrible stuff happened with my dad, he said some stuff about my deceased mother in front of his young wife.
I told them that I wanted to change schools because of my old friends and they agreed after a week of arguments. Around that my depression got really bad. That’s when we talked for the first time on the-”
“Roof.” You cut him off as you remembered a small detail. “Yeah, I was planning on ending it all then you entered. I remembered that you were the only one that hasn’t really spoken to me in school. I thought you were going to judge me, but you didn’t. I stepped back as I waited for you to leave so I can…
Then, you walked towards me unexpectedly and kneeled to tie my loose sneakers lace. I thought how crazy is life, the moment that the world collapsed on my shoulders you showed up to stop me from tripping on my laces. Then I started crying.
The hug that you gave me was wordless but it made everything feel lighter. You told me that everything was going to be okay and that I’d have you by my side, a stranger.
You kept me in your arms for a good twenty minutes, once I stopped crying like a baby, you kissed my forehead and said that you’d be ready to listen to me whenever I felt like talking. I thanked you and we never saw each other again. Well, until yesterday that is.” He kissed your forehead.
“Wow, how can I forget that? You were like a lost bunny…” You smiled holding his cheeks. “That doesn’t matter, I found you again. I won’t tell you that I love you, because it’s a little creepy and too early but I can say that I have intense feelings towards you.” He said, earning a giggle from you.
“Me too Kookie, I have intense feelings towards you too.” You kissed his lips then placed your head on his collarbone inhaling the nostalgic scent of your teen years.
(© 2020 jiminscalicokitten, All Rights Reserved)
#bts one shot#bts fanfics#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts smut#bts fluff#bts angst#jungkook fanfic#BTS jungkook#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook fanfics#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook oneshot#jungkook one shot#bts oneshot
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are there any sources that say how lafayette reacted to the death of washington and his other friends from america??
Hello Anon,
yes, we do know La Fayette’s reaction - pretty exactly actually. George Washington died on December 14, 1799 and La Fayette wrote to Washington’s widow, Martha Washington, on February 28, 1800. The letter is today hold by the Digital Collection from The Washington Library.
Dearest Madam
My Heart Has for So Long a time and So throughly Been known to You, that I Need Not, Nor indeed Could I Express the feelings Which Over Whelm it—While the world is Mourning, and Mankind weeping Over the irreparable Loss, What Must it Be to You, My dear Madam, the object of His Love, the Companion of His Life, the partner of His Sentiments, the Happy witness to All His private and public virtues? What Must it Be to me, Who from My Youth Have Been Blessed with His paternal Adoption, and Who Ever Have deserved it By the Most filial Affection for Him and for You, Who United in Every thing were particularly So in Your kindness to me? - Continue, I beseech you, to Honour me with this Maternal Predilection, the more necessary to me, as in you, dearest Madam, I Both Love and Revere What Remains of My Respected and Beloved General - My Mind is so wed to introduce Him in every thought, every Sentiment, every Concern of Mine that I Hardly Can Believe that, While I am Living, He Has left us, Nor Could I forgive Myself No to Have personally received His Last Blessing. Had I Not the Remembrance of the Advice By Which You know He Has Repeatedly differed My Departure for America - the Circumstances are Coming on Which Had appeared to Him to proper- for Our Meeting - But Alas, in this World We Can No More Meet! I would think it for me a Sacred and Staeing[sic] Duty to Go Over and Mingle My Tears With Yours, Had I not Lately Reentered My Native Country Where, although I Live in perfect Retirement, and With not Have Any thing to do With public affairs, I am Bound to forward the Business of My friends, Several of Whom, Who followed me in 1792, are to the paine[sic] of Being Restored to their Homes and families - I owe it also to My Creditors and Children to pick up the Remains of My fortune - My Son, not Less a partaker in My Grief than in My Obligations and Gratitude, Has the Honour to write to you, and would Have Gone to Mount Vernon, Had Not the Continuation of the War engaged Him in the Military Senite where He expects to Be Soon employed - But we Both Live in the Hope to present You Again, dearest Madam, the personal Homage of our Respectful Love; and everlasting Regrets Shall ever Make us worthy of the parental affection which from the Greatest and Best of Men, which from You, Dear Madam, we Both Had the Happiness to experience - My Wife, With a Mourning, affectionate Heart, joins in My Sentiments, and as well as the Rest of My family Beg to Be More Respectfully, tenderly Remembered to You - Be pleased to let me Hear from You as often as You Can - permit me to Hold with You the Correspondence I Had with My Beloved General and think often of that adoptive Son of His who with dutiful Respect, and warm, Grateful, filial affection Has the Honour to be
dear Madam
Your obedient Servant and friend
Lafayette
Martha Washington replied to La Fayette on October 31, 1800:
Mount Vernon October 31st 1800
Dear Sir
It was not until very lately that your sympathetic and affectionate letter of the 18th of febary reached my hands - The feeling manner in which you have expressed your sense of the loss which I have sustained demands my greatful acknowledgement. The tribute of respectful veneration which has been every where paid to the memory of my dear deceased Husband, and the tender sympathy which my friends have expressed for the irreparable loss, excites my warmest sensibility, -- But my consolation arises only from that source of infinite wisdom and good help which alone can mitigate our grief and lessen the poignancy of the keenest affliction -- To his will do I resign my self for the few remaining days of my life - Knowing the strong ties by which you were bound to my departed Friend I can readily conceive of your feeling upon hearing of his decease, and I am sure it was not among the least of the manifold afflictions which you have of late years undergone.
To the amiable partner of your heart and the rest of your deserving family I pray you to have my sincear and greatful thanks for their tender sympathy; and be isured that you have my ernest prayers that your and their future years may be freed from that cloud of suffering in which you have been so long involved -, and that every blessing which heaven has in store for the virtuous may be showered upon you,- should you or they visit this country - I need not say how happy I should be to see you under my roof - and it will always afford me the highest satisfaction to hear of your welfare
The kind letter from your son came in closed in yours, for which I pray you to return him my best thanks and issure him that his friends hear hold him in affectionate rememberance and sincerely wish that his career in life may be glorious and happy - with esteem and regard
Im dear sir your friend and obedient(?) servant.
Martha Washington
There is something special about this letter. Martha received at least 55 letters of condolences that we know of, more than 40 of the people who wrote her received a reply - but most of these replies were not written by her but by others, Tobias Lear for example, in her name. La Fayette’s was one of fife identified persons who received a reply written by herself. Martha also send La Fayette two pistols, that Washington bequeathed to the Marquis in his will. Washington wrote in his will:
“To General de la Fayette I give a pair of finely wrought steel Pistols, taken from the enemy in the Revolutionary War.”
La Fayette’s son, Georges Washington de La Fayette, also wrote Martha. He enclosed his letters in the letter written by his father. Beside these letters, there is also an earlier account that illustrates La Fayette’s thoughts about Washington’s demise. Shortly before La Fayette sailed for France in 1784 after his third visit to the United States, Washington wrote him the following on December 8, 1784:
“In the moment of our separation upon the road as I travelled, & every hour since—I felt all that love, respect & attachment for you, with which length of years, close connexion & your merits, have inspired me. I often asked myself, as our Carriages distended, whether that was the last sight, I ever should have of you? And tho’ I wished to say no—my fears answered yes. I called to mind the days of my youth, & found they had long since fled to return no more; that I was now descending the hill, I had been 52 years climbing—& that tho’ I was blessed with a good constitution, I was of a short lived family—and might soon expect to be entombed in the dreary mansions of my father’s—These things darkened the shades & gave a gloom to the picture, consequently to my prospects of seeing you again: but I will not repine—I have had my day.”
To that La Fayette replied on December 21, 1784:
“I Have Received Your Affectionate letter Of the 8th inst., and from the known Sentiments of My Heart to You, You will Easely guess what My feelings Have Been in perusing the tender Expressions of Your friendship—No, my Beloved General, our late parting was Not By Any Means a last interview—My whole Soul Revolts at the idea—and Could I Harbour it an instant, indeed, my dear General, it would make me Miserable (…)”
On February 8, 1800, France held an official funeral service for George Washington. Everybody expected La Fayette to give a eulogy to Washington but that did not happen. More so, La Fayette was explicitly excluded from the funeral. Why? Because Napoléon Bonaparte, who had just risen to power, did not felt like it and because he was a bit petty.
As with regard to his other friends in America, there is not as much documentation that I know of. Washington wrote to La Fayette on October 20, 1782 that John Laurens had died.
“Poor Laurens is no more—He fell in a trifling skirmish in South Carolina, attempting to prevent the Enemy from plundering the Country of Rice (…)”
I am sure La Fayette was saddened by his friends death, but I have never seen him mentioning it. Moving on to Hamilton, who died on July 12, 1804, La Fayette wrote Thomas Jefferson on October 8, 1804 that:
“The Deplorable fate of My friend Hamilton Has deeply Afflicted me—I am Sure that whatever Have Been the differences of parties, you Have Ever Been Sensible of His Merits, and Now feel for His Loss.”
He further wrote to George Washington Parke Custis after Hamilton’s death that:
“Hamilton was to me, my dear Sir, more than friend, he was a brother. We were both very young, when associated with our common father; our friendship, formed in days of peril and glory, suffered no diminution from time: with Tilghman and with Laurens, I was upon terms the most affectionate; but with Hamilton, my relations were brotherly.”
Another close friend of La Fayette, Thomas Jefferson, died on July 4, 1826 and La Fayette discussed his death in a letter to James Monroe on November 28, 1826. I sadly have no full access to this letter so I can only tell you that Jefferson’s death was discussed in the letter, but not what La Fayette actually wrote.
I hope you have/had an awesome day!
#marquis de lafayette#lafayette#general lafayette#george washington#martha washington#thomas jefferson#james monroe#alexander hamilton#georges washington de lafayette#adrienne de noailles#adrienne de lafayette#letters#handwriting#1799#1800#1804#1826#ask me anything#dear anon#george washington park custis#history#death#mourning#french history#french revolution#american history#american revolution#1784#napoléon
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No Matter What
Read here on AO3!!
Summary:
Bruce figures out that his son isn't straight from an early age.
That doesn't make him love him any less.
- Eight Years Old -
Bruce is finally starting to get a hang of this parenting thing.
The first few months were rough, there’s no disputing that. Bruce lost track of how many times he panicked and called Leslie Thompkins whenever Dick burst into tears over something and Alfred wasn’t home. Not to mention all the times when Alfred would leave Bruce on his own for dinner, insisting that one must learn how to raise a child without a butler to help. Bruce fed the kid burnt chicken nuggets and garlic bread for two nights straight. Now, though? Bruce is immensely proud of how far he and Dick have come. He’s even taken to attending PTA meetings, if only for the free coffee and doughnuts. He hears the front door open right on time, then wet boots hitting the floor. Dick had a half day today to make room for meet-the-teacher night later. Bruce isn’t looking forward to spending two hours sitting in a chair made for eight-year-olds, listening to a teacher in plastic pearls talk about an elementary schooler’s oh-so challenging curriculum. At least he’s only got the one; he has no intention of having more kids after Dick. Bruce busies himself with his mostly unburnt slice of toast, one ear trained on the footsteps through the foyer accompanied by unceasing chatter that Bruce has grown quite fond of over the months. “—and then they let us outside for recess even though it was raining, and I went on the swings and my hair got all wet and it was so cool.” “That explains the muddy clothes,” Alfred says. “Sorry, Alf. I’m not immune to mud puddles.” “It would appear so, Master Dick.”
The two of them enter the kitchen, Dick working his elbows out of his yellow rain slicker to reveal the school uniform beneath. His cheeks are rosy, his eyes bright. “Hiya, Bruce!”
“Hey, champ. How was school?” “It was awesome. It was raining all day and at recess there were a ton of puddles all over the playground and a million worms. I didn’t touch them though, ‘cause the teacher said not to.” “What snack would you like, Master Dick?” Alfred asks, taking Dick’s discarded raincoat and folding it over his arm. “Can you do ants on a log?” “Coming right up, sir.” Dick heaves himself up on the bar stool beside Bruce, his sock feet kicking against the lower cupboard. Bruce spreads marmalade over his toast. “Tell me more about school. Any fights today?” “Nope,” Dick says proudly, flashing his gapped teeth. Dick and another boy got into a scuffle on the first day over a comment about whether Dick’s parents being from the circus meant they were part monkey. It’s a miracle Dick only gave the kid a nosebleed and didn’t break anything. The principal let Dick off with a warning since it was his first time at a normal school, but Bruce has a feeling the only reason he wasn’t expelled was because his guardian is the most powerful man in Gotham City. Bruce had a stern talk with Dick when they got home about the importance of controlling one’s actions. Traveling the world in a circus train car doesn’t do much to help one’s impulse control. He also banned Dick from watching television for the rest of the night, but Dick’s crocodile tears swayed him to balance it out by letting him have ice cream before dinner. That’s good parenting, right? “I even made a friend,” Dick says. “Oh? What are they like?” “His name is Caleb and his desk is right next to mine, so we talked during reading time. Then he gave me some of his chocolate during lunch and we played on the swings together at recess.” “Ah, the wonders of childhood friendship,” Alfred says from where he’s slicing up a celery stalk at the other end of the counter. He sounds relieved, and Bruce finds himself matching it. Dick has been at Gotham Elementary for almost a week and hasn’t made a single friend until now. Bruce can’t tell if that is more because of Dick’s circus background or because he is a tan-skinned boy with the barest of Romani accents attending a predominantly white private school. Sometimes (all the time) Bruce loathes being associated with Gotham’s high society. If you’re not white, straight, and rich, you are automatically shunned in their minds. “He sounds great, Dick.” “Yeah! And he’s got really pretty eyes too. I can’t tell if they’re brown or green, but they’re sparkly like glitter.” Bruce arches an eyebrow. “You must like him a lot.” He takes a bite of his toast, making eye contact with Alfred over the boy’s head. Alfred doesn’t react but for a twitch of his mustache. Dick nods, focus switched over to the plate Alfred slides in front of him. Dick takes a celery stick and picks off the first raisin coated in peanut butter, licking it off his thumb. “I hope he talks to me again tomorrow. Alfred, can I bring an extra snack to lunch tomorrow so I can share it with him?” Alfred smiles. “Of course. I will pack a second cupcake in your lunchbox tomorrow morning just for him.” “Thanks, Alf.” Dick goes right back to eating his ants on a log, cheerful as ever, completely unaware of the swarm of question marks buzzing around in Bruce’s head. Huh. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Eleven Years Old - Bruce gets home from a three-hour business meeting, his sandpapery eyes aching to close and stay shut for...let’s go with ten years? That should be enough. He loosens his tie and prepares to go upstairs to his bedroom where he’ll spend the next decade of his life hibernating, until he sees his ward on the living room sofa. Dick is lying on his stomach with his face buried in a throw pillow, as if he’s waiting for the sofa to swallow him whole. Must have been a bad day if he’s not sliding down banisters and flipping over chairs like usual. Sighing, Bruce goes over. “Dick? You alive over there?” “Mmph.” At least he’s conscious. Bruce sits on the arm of the couch, shaking Dick’s thin shoulder. “Come on, kiddo. Use your words.” “Mmph.” “Bad day, then?” Dick nods. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” Dick shakes his head. Bruce sits back with a frown. “Alfred?” he calls. Alfred pokes his head in. “Yes, Master Bruce?” Bruce gestures to their anguished preteen. “It would seem that our lad had a rough day at school. He wouldn’t tell me what, but I’m making his favorite casserole for dinner. Hopefully that will perk him up.” Bruce turns back to Dick, who hasn’t moved. “C’mon, Dickie. Sit up so I can see your face.” Reluctantly, Dick forces himself upright with one last groan into his pillow. His hair is mussed, standing up on one side. There’s a pillow crease on his cheek. He sits back against the sofa, miserable. “Better.” Bruce prods Dick’s ribs which earns him a giggle, goading the kid into sliding over a few inches so Bruce can sit beside him. Dick leans into his side immediately and Bruce puts his arm around him. “Now, tell me what’s got you down.” “I want to transfer schools.” “How come?” As far as he’s known until now, Dick has loved middle school. His childhood took a bad turn when his parents’ ropes snapped, but preteen life is at a good start. Until now. Dick’s gaze is trained on his sneakers, kicking them where they hang over the edge of the couch. “Some kids in my science class were talking crap about me.” “Don’t say crap.” “Can I go to a new school? Please?” “What did those kids say about you?” Dick picks at a dime-size hole in his jeans. “They called me gay,” he says quietly. Bruce tightens his arm around the boy, his heart panging. Of course someone had to bully Bruce’s kid. As if his life hasn’t already been hard enough without stupid teenagers making it worse. “I wasn’t even doing anything wrong. I was just talking to my lab partner, and the guys at the next table over started whispering about us. Then they started throwing papers.” “Did you tell the teacher?” “No. But I know she noticed. Everyone did. She just didn’t do anything about it.” That sets Bruce’s blood to a boil. Teachers have a responsibility to protect their students, no matter what. What gives her the right to turn a blind eye to bullying, just because a couple of students might not fit the agreed-upon standards of “perfect” upper class society? “I’ll set up an appointment with the principal,” Bruce decides. Dick’s eyes get wide. “Bruce, no. Please. It’s fine, really. I don’t want this to turn into a big deal.” “What did you do when it happened?” Dick shrugs. “Nothing. My lab partner stopped talking to me, so I just asked to go to the bathroom and didn’t come back until the bell rang.” Bruce sighs. Middle schoolers are the worst, every last one of them. (Except for Dick, of course; he is perfect.) “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Kids can be cruel—especially at your age, when they start learning new words that they don’t understand the way they should. They think some words are insults or something to be ashamed of when they’re not. Most kids grow out of this. Too many don’t.” “People suck,” Dick mutters. “I don’t even know why they were saying all that stuff. I’m not...I’m not like that” Bruce bites his cheek. He’s going to have to be careful about this. “Dick, do you know what being gay means?” “Duh. It’s when two guys date each other. I’m not stupid.” “I know you’re not stupid. But gay can mean a lot of things. Men can like other men, just as women can love other women. Like Kate, for instance. Then there are bisexual and pansexual people who love all genders, and asexuals who don’t like either.” Thank god Bruce thought ahead and read some LGBTQ+ research books all those years ago when he first began to suspect that Dick wasn’t heterosexual. “And transgender is when someone doesn’t identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. Sometimes people feel more like a man, a woman, neither, or both.” “...Okay?” “I just want to make sure you understand these things, because part of being a respectful person means respecting others for who they are. And if you don’t completely understand the label they identify as, then it’s your job to try and understand it the best you can.” “Why?” “Because too many people in this world judge others for things they can’t control, and that’s not right. No one should have to feel like they were born wrong. And I want to make sure you know this, that way you can be better than those who choose to hurt others for things they can’t control.” “Does that mean the guys who made fun of me are bad people?” “I’m sure they aren’t. They might just be confused because they don’t understand that being gay isn’t anything bad or dirty. The people in this part of Gotham...they don’t accept a lot of things. They think that being queer or a person of color means you don’t deserve respect, and that’s wrong. It was wrong of those kids to tease you and your lab partner the way they did.” Dick nods slowly. “I’m not gay.” “I know. I just want you to be aware of these things. And if you ever have questions or need to talk, you can always come to me.” He ruffles Dick’s hair. “Even when other people are nasty, remember that I love you no matter what, got it?” Dick shoves Bruce’s hand away and smoothes his hair back out, grinning. “Yeah, yeah. I got it.” ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Thirteen Years Old -
What’s the difference between a growth spurt and a shark?
Dick doesn’t have any sharks. “We’re home!” Dick announces. He and Alfred stumble into the house, their arms filled with all kinds of shopping bags. With Dick shooting up half an inch nightly these days, he’s growing out of his clothes at a rate even Bane would gawk at. Bruce and Alfred can barely keep up with the kid. “Want to see what I got?” “Show me, pal.” Bruce sets aside his tablet and pushes his reading glasses up on his head. (He does not have poor vision, thank you very much. Leslie just made him get a prescription as a precaution, that’s all. He’s still young by anyone’s standards, just ask Selina.) Dick starts pulling clothing out of the boutique bags, showing off every one of his new sweaters and pairs of Alfred-approved jeans. After ten minutes that Bruce desperately tries to look interested during, Dick pulls out what looks like a t-shirt that’s been sliced in half horizontally. The fabric is bright pink with a chibi whale on the front. “This one is my favorite,” Dicks says. His grin is blinding. Bruce stares for a long moment, his brain a lagging computer drive. “What is it?” “It’s a crop top. You know, like a belly shirt?” Memories from Dick’s Kim Possible phase flash in front of Bruce’s eyes. “Alfred let you buy that?” “Yeah?” Dick’s smile flags. He lowers the crop top, suddenly self-conscious. “Do you not...like it?” “You were supposed to get winter clothes, Dick. For cold weather.” “So?” “That’s clearly something you’re supposed to wear during the summer.” Dick pouts. “But I like it.” He holds it up against himself, twisting this way and that like an amateur model. “Sorry, kiddo. You’re not leaving the house in that until springtime.” “Oh, so Robin can wear tiny shorts in the winter, but Dick Grayson can’t wear a harmless crop top? I smell hypocrisy.” “Yes, because Robin has thermal leggings and a built-in heater in his uniform.” He looks back at the pink monstrosity, at Dick’s pleading eyes. “I would be open to negotiations if you’re willing to wear a sweater under it.” “That’s not how fashion works, B.” “I don’t care. You can wait until it gets warmer out to wear it.” “You’re such a drag,” Dick whines. He lifts his dozens of shopping bags and goes to leave, then turns right back around. “What if I wear a jacket over it and promise to keep it closed whenever I’m outside?” Bruce considers that. “Fine. But not below fifteen degrees, got it? And if I see you outside for even five seconds without the jacket, I’m confiscating the Xbox. Deal?” “Deal.” ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Fourteen Years Old -
Something is different about Dick today. You’d think his boots were made of helium with the way he floats through patrol, and then smiles into his late-night milkshake like it did his homework for him. Bruce sits beside his Robin on the roof of Wayne Tower, silent for as long as he can bear before he can’t hold it back any longer. “Did anything interesting happen today?” “Huh?” Dick looks up as if Bruce pried him and his thoughts apart with a crowbar. “You’ve been...different. Happy.” “Am I not usually happy?” “No, you are. Just seems like you’re...extra happy, for whatever reason.” A blush dusts the kid’s cheeks. He sips his chocolate shake and shrugs. “Dunno. It was just a good day. Nothing special.” Yeah, and Bruce is a goddamn unicorn. Still, he knows better than to pry where Dick doesn’t want him. It’s a delicate thing. “If you say so.” “I got a hundred on my English essay,” Dick offers. It’s a start. “Was that the one on Grapes of Wrath?” “That was last month. We’re on Animal Farm now. It’s not my favorite.” “Yeah, I wasn’t a fan of Orwell either. Shakespeare was okay, but I preferred his tragedies over his comedies.” “Of course you did.” That makes Bruce laugh. He’s not worried; the two of them are high enough that no one can hear it. Bruce even has his cowl down, his face exposed to the cool air. “They had quinoa burgers at the cafeteria today.” “Mm-hm.” Dick is dodging something, beating around whatever bush he wants to talk about. Bruce can be patient while he figures it out. “And I spent some time with Barbara after school.” “Oh?” “Yeah. We walked home together and we took this old path through the park. Then we kissed.” Bruce chokes on his milkshake. He coughs, his sinuses burning and eyes watering. When he recovers, he says, “That’s...that’s great, chum.” “Yeah.” Dick can’t stop smiling, a true schoolboy in love. “And she asked if I wanted to patrol with her tomorrow night, but I said I needed to check in with you first.” “I don’t see why not.” It’s not like Bruce hasn’t patrolled without Dick before. Sure, he misses the company on the few days a week he’s alone, but he’s not about to deny Dick the thing he clearly wants. “You sure? You look...freaked out.” “No, no. That’s...great, that you kissed. Congratulations.” Awkward. He’s so fucking awkward. Stop being awkward right now. He doesn’t know why this is messing with his head so drastically. Bruce has listened to Dick moon over girls for the entirety of his pubescence, talking about them like they’re goddesses he’s forbidden to look upon, Barbara included. And Bruce has seen the way Dick and Barbara interact with each other in between muggings, always talking with their heads bent close like they’re the only two people in the world. Who would have thought Batman could be a third wheel? “I’ve liked her for a while now, but I didn’t know if she liked me back and I was too nervous to ask.” Dick’s face goes even pinker. “Kissing her was cool.” Part of Bruce’s brain jumps at the realization that, holy shit, Dick just had his first kiss, my little boy is growing up, what a milestone. The other part is far less happy about this new development. Yes, Bruce has seen Dick win brawls with men three times his size. He can fly the Bat-jet on his own, knows six languages, and is even leading his own superhero team. And yet, all Bruce can think is, no, not my little boy, he’s just a baby, Batgirl is corrupting his innocence and She Must Be Stopped. With great effort, Bruce holds it all back. He’s read the parenting books, he knows that it’s important to be supportive when they’re at this age. “Good to hear. I’m happy for you.” He pats Dick on the shoulder. “Thanks, B.” ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Sixteen Years Old - “Hey, Bruce? Can I talk to you?” Bruce doesn’t look up from the metal flakes he’s testing. “What is it?” “I can come back later if you’re busy.” “No, I’m just analyzing some samples. I’m looking for residue from one of Zsasz’s blades.” Dick steps forward, tentative for once. “Need any help?” “I would like for you to come out with whatever it is you clearly need to tell me.” Dick snorts quietly. “Nice phrasing.” “What?” “I think I’m bisexual.” Bruce turns around, forgetting about the samples entirely. Dick’s arms are crossed over his chest, his eyes skipping between everything that isn’t Bruce’s face. At sixteen years old he’s finally tall enough that he doesn’t have to crane his neck to look at Bruce anymore. “You...think?” “I am. I’m bisexual.” “Okay.” “Is that cool with you?” The question shocks Bruce. “Of course it is.” Did Dick honestly think this would change anything? Has Bruce done something wrong, made Dick think that he wasn’t loved unconditionally? Dick squints, appraises Bruce’s reaction. “You knew, didn’t you.” “No.” “Bruce.” “I knew a little bit.” Dick rolls his eyes. The tension slips from his shoulders. His arms uncross. “Of course you did.” “Well, you weren’t exactly subtle about it.” “What the hell does that mean?” “Language,” Bruce chides, more out of habit than anything. “And do you realize how often you would come home after elementary school complaining about stupid pretty boys?” “That was just me being dramatic.” “I’m not disputing that. But they were still crushes, pal.” “I figured you thought it was just a phase.” Bruce shrugs. “Maybe for the first few days. But trust me, I have known you liked boys since you were a kid.” “Then why didn’t you just say so? It took me years to figure this all out, and you’re telling me you’ve been sitting on this info the whole time?” “Because this is your truth, not mine. I knew that you would tell me about it when you were ready. And you have.” Dick is clearly fighting a smile. He bites his lip instead, runs a hand through his mop of black hair that not even Alfred can wheedle him into combing anymore. “Well, I’m heading to the tower for the night, so don’t wait up, ‘kay? Kay. Good talk.” He goes to leave, but Bruce stops him. “Hang on. Why choose now to tell me?” Dick stuffs his hands in his pockets—an obvious tell. “No reason. I just...wanted you to know. Just in case.” “In case of what?” “Oh, you know.” Dick waves his hand in a gesture that clarifies absolutely nothing. “Life happens. People meet each other. You know how it is.” Bruce’s soul implodes. “You have a date?” “I never said that.” “You implied it.” “Real detectives rely on evidence, not theories.” Dick winks. “Tell me who it is. Are they a civilian? A hero? Do they come from a respectable family?” If it’s Roy Harper, Bruce might have to bury a body tonight. Especially after learning about Harper’s drug problem. Dick is too pure for someone like that. Or—heaven forbid—that Wally West kid. Dick is already walking away. “See ya, Bruce!” “You come back here, Richard John Grayson! Do I know him? Does he know your father is Batman?” Dick’s cackle echoes around the cave. “It had better not be a speedster!”
#soho speaks#batfamily#batfam#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#robin#nightwing#fanfiction#fanfic#fluff#this is so fluffy my teeth fell out in the first two paragraphs#bi dick grayson#bisexual dick grayson#bisexuality#gay#lgbtq
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