#it's aptly named as the not paying attention disorder it really is

[blarrghe]

the thing about ADHD is it really isn't the forgetting stuff disorder. We remember everything extremely well we just get distracted and don't look at the memories. Like, if my partner asks me to look out for a package in the morning but neither of us sticks a note where I'll see it, there's like a greater than 90% chance I will not do that. But when something comes about to remind me of it (usually too late, such as partner getting up and checking for the package, shameful!), I will remember that conversation where I agreed to watch for the package in excruciating detail. this is true of any thing that I later "forget". when the reminder comes I can remember where I was sitting, what I was wearing, the precise wording of the conversation in question, or the reason for why I put the thing where I put the thing, etc. Memory's great I just didn't access the memory because I was distracted by the bees in my brain. The things are there they just aren't getting the attention because the attention can only go so many places and I don't control where it goes. This is why it is the attention deficit disorder.

Well what about the times when you do forget every single word of a conversation you had, you ask? Like, someone can say they remember me saying something in response to them and I 100% do not remember saying those words? well. wasn't paying attention to the conversation happening at the time I was having it. Sorry. Not your fault you probably weren't boring. There were bees in my brain while we were talking and so when I look back there's just buzzing. Hope that helps.

[brasskier]

Oh yeah totally forgot I was gonna do this. So the other day I had a good, long cart attendant shift. (As in, I plod around the parking lot bringing carts in on a fancy machine called the cart master for 5 hours.) I took the opportunity to finally listen to TAD, and I said I was gonna leave my thoughts on here. So here we are.

So. First things first, they're not the band to listen to doing carts. My usual carts playlist (aptly titled Cart Bitch Blues) is very upbeat indie folk, Green Day, a bunch of DCI recordings, some selections from the RHPS soundtrack, and also Fishmonger's Daughter. It's all very uptempo, stomp and holler kinda stuff, anything with the right bpm and thumping drums I can keep a good tempo to. There were a few songs I was like, yeah, this meets the requirements, but a lot of it just wasn't the right fit. So, it's not going to be my new go-to for carts lmao. This isn't their fault, it's my mistake.

Second thing. Joey and Madeline just have nice voices. You all knew that already. They bounce off each other very well. At times I almost felt like I was listening to a musical soundtrack. There's also a distinct folk tune-y vibe there. I feel like I'm listening to something a lot older than it really is. Sometimes I hear duets and it's literally just two people singing adjacently, like they could've recorded it in separate booths on opposite sides of the planet never having heard the other's part. But they actually sing together, which is good. The song would be incomplete without either part, and it couldn't have been produced any way other than collaboratively.

Thirdly. So I have auditory processing disorder, which is a form of hearing impairment originating in the brain, and one of the little problems it presents is being able to parse out lyrics. (Especially with anything other than my native accent. Basically I can only understand Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi lol.) This is why I listen to so much band and orchestral music, and a lot of drum corps recordings. No words, no problem. But you kinda need to hear TAD's lyrics, so I had to sit down and listen to it again with Genius open. Fuck, they're very good lyricists. I could name like a dozen lyrics I'd gladly get tattooed on my body right now. If you're not paying attention to the words you're missing out. Also they made me feel things. How dare they.

So in conclusion, I think they're pretty damn good, especially if that's the vibe your into, and especially if you want to feel emotions. Fantastic lyricism and a thoughtful utilization of their strengths. Are they going into my daily rotation? Probably not, and definitely probably won't be found in my carts playlist. (It's a very carefully curated playlist, I swear!) Their discography is going to be sorted into my playlists for certain moods, and I will probably eventually cry in the shower to them. (That's my personal equivalent to a grammy. I think so far only Lord Huron and Lewis Capaldi have ascended to that rank so far.) My final comment, and this is just me being a stuckup brass player here, but it needs more horns. Brass. Some punch. Strings are pretty, but god a good french horn and trombone part would absolutely slap.

Also, if you like TAD and/or Jaskier's songs from the Witcher or just bardcore in general, check out Patty Gurdy. She plays the hurdy gurdy, she has an enchanting voice, and she makes 10/10 music.

Anyway, as promised, there's my two cents no one asked for. I'll be sure to let you know when I finally cry in the shower to them.

[asentientlife-blog]

Seasonal Affective Disorder: Understanding the Winter Blues

With colder temperatures, darker days and nights that seem never ending, it’s not uncommon to feel a little down during autumn and winter. Until recent years, the phenomenon affectionately called the winter blues hasn't been given the attention it deserves.  Thankfully, with the rise in research into mental wellbeing, the winter blues are now recognised as a genuine medical condition: Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). So just what is Seasonal Affective Disorder? The NHS estimates that one in 15 people experience SAD between September - April, with the number of sufferers peaking between December - February. Defining a one-size-fits-all set of symptoms is impossible, as each individual experiences SAD differently. Some of the most common symptoms include: Persistent low mood Reduced interest in the activities you usually enjoy Lethargy/ constant tiredness Irritability Short attention span Difficulty waking up in the morning Craving stodgy, carbohydrate-rich foods There’s still a lot of research to be done into the causes of Seasonal Affective Disorder. We know it's linked to the reduced exposure to sunlight in winter. This lack of sunlight increases melatonin production (the sleep hormone) and leads to lower serotonin levels (the “happy hormone” that controls our appetite, sleep and mood). This change in hormones results in the symptoms listed above. My SAD Story As one of those affected by SAD, I wanted to share my story and the techniques that help me cope with it. I had my first severe bout of SAD thirteen years ago while I was studying for my GCSEs. I remember walking to school one day in early October and I just felt “heavy,” both physically and mentally. It’s difficult to describe it any other way. I felt inexplicably lethargic, claustrophobic and very teary. My symptoms got worse over the following weeks and I was crying at pretty much anything and everything. I was also unable to concentrate on my mock exams and despite my tiredness, I couldn’t sleep.  I went to see my GP who diagnosed me with moderate depression and prescribed me some beta blockers. The medication masked the symptoms and I was able to get back to some level of normality for a while. The unexplained change in mood hit again in February and October the following year. It was then that my mum did some research into my situation and discovered Seasonal Affective Disorder.  It was one of those lightbulb moments where suddenly things start to make a lot more sense. Once I knew what was causing my symptoms, I was able to try out different coping techniques to discover those that worked for me. I’ve found several tools that help me and I haven’t had such a severe bout of seasonal depression since. I’m still super sensitive to the change in seasons, but I’m better equipped to help myself now. How I tackle SAD Exercise: This is my number one tool for managing SAD. I combine high intensity exercise to boost my heart rate with gentle yoga to help calm my mind. If there have been a few days of cloudy skies, nothing helps me more than a burst of cardio. A run is my go-to activity for beating a low mood. My guess is it must be down to the surge of endorphins produced, the aptly-named runner’s high. If you’re not mad on exercise, then a brisk walk should help too. Anything that raises your heart rate a little should help boost serotonin levels. Light therapy: I honestly don’t know where I’d be without my SAD lamp. These specialist lamps simulate sunlight. The idea is that you switch on your lamp first thing in the morning to regulate serotonin levels. Timing is everything with light therapy - for example, if you fire up your lamp at 10pm, you’ll trick your body into thinking it’s morning and disrupt your sleep. Place your SAD lamp on a desk or coffee table, just out of your eyeline for 20 minutes every day.  Get outside: During my first few years battling Seasonal Affective Disorder, I became aware of just how little natural daylight I was getting. As a teenager, I went for days without leaving the house which I now know only stands to make me unbearably irritable! Now I get outside every day, even if it’s just a five minute walk to the local shop. I once heard that you should go outdoors as early on in the day as possible so your body registers daylight and can better regulate your hormones. (I guess it’s the same logic as using a SAD lamp in the morning rather than at night.) For me, staying indoors all day is often my biggest trigger for SAD symptoms. Laughter: It might be the last thing you feel like doing, but sometimes laughter really is the best medicine. What never fails to make you giggle? For me, it’s the TV show Friends. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen an episode (and believe me, it’s thousands!) it always lifts my spirits. So, whether it’s your favourite comedian, a friend who has you in stitches or a beloved sitcom like me, make time for the things, interests or people who make you smile. Hearty but healthy meals:  This is one I pay really close attention to. A vegetarian with a never-ending list of food intolerances, I often get stuck in a rut with my meals. Stir fries and salads are my go-to and while delicious, they rarely satisfy my SAD carb cravings. This means I fill up on sugar-packed cakes and biscuits later on. I’m working out the best way to get a balanced and craving-busting meal. Sweet potatoes are my super food of the moment. Roasted, baked or mashed, I can't get enough of them! Food for thought I opened up the topic of managing Seasonal Affective Disorder on Twitter and got some interesting tips. One of my followers recommended vitamin D supplements and I can see the logic. As our main source of vitamin D is sunlight and a lack of sunlight leads to SAD, it’s not implausible to assume a vitamin D deficiency plays a part here. The most important thing to remember when dealing with Seasonal Affective Disorder, is that you really aren’t alone. While there are different degrees of severity, so many of us are battling the winter blues as we move into the colder months. Find the things that bring you joy, get moving and look after your body with nourishing foods - your mind will thank you for it! Click here to watch my video on this topic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGTj-x3I7Y4 Read the full article

[i-desiredeath]

Reminisce Your Gist Nevermore

“I never meant to call you out. As you can see here, I’ve been very busy.”

What’s with that look? Do you really think I’m taking this too far? All you have to do is swear that you’ll be true and I’ll let you go right now.

Just don’t lie.

ㅤㅤ 

ㅤ➤ ◦  BASIC

ㅤㅤ

Name: Lachlan Kusunoki-Shaffer.

Nicknames: La Lachlan (pun of La La Land), Kusu, Shaffer.

Alias:

“Our Local Shaffer-ing Boy.”

“The Raven.”

Age: 28 years old.

Gender: Male.

Sexuality: Aromantic Demisexual.

Date of Birth: 22 December.

Place of Birth: Horsham, Sussex, England.

Current Residence: Primordial Avenue, Greenville.

Demonym: British.

Species: Human. (doubted)

Occupation: Police investigator, Lord Edgar’s apprentice. (no longer)

Rank: Junior investigator.

ㅤㅤ

ㅤ➤ ◦  PERSONALITY

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Primary Traits:

Virtues:

Skills:

Vices:

Flaws:

Chronic Backstabbing Disorder

Constantly betrays others.

What You Are in the Dark

Fails to live up to his principles when nobody is watching.

Paste Eater

Eats things that are not intended to be food, often poisoning himself in the process.

Wild Card

Unreliable, untrustworthy and traitorous.

Sore Loser

Can't take a loss, even if it was fair and square.

Sociopathic “Hero”

Shaffer is a “hero” who lacks empathy for others and acts in villain-ish ways when fighting villains.

Personality Type:

INFJ ; The Protector

Quietly forceful, original, and sensitive.

Tend to stick to things until he is done.

Extremely intuitive about people, and concerned for their feelings.

Well-developed value systems which Shaffer strictly adheres to.

Well-respected for his perseverance in doing the right thing.

Likely to be individualistic, rather than leading or following.

Archetypes:

The Outcast

The lonely outsider; Shaffer desperately wants to belong to someone.

Tortured and unforgiving, he has been set off from others, and usually for good cause. He craves redemption, but is willing to gain it by sacrificing others. Waste no sympathy on himーhe’ll have none for you.

Masquerader

Shaffer pretends to be someone (or something) he’s not.

Likes & Dislikes:

Fears:

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ㅤ➤ ◦  HISTORY

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Family Life:

Shaffer was born on 22 December at Broadbridge Heath, near Horsham, West Sussex, England. He was the youngest legitimate son of Sir Percival Shaffer; a Whig Member of Parliament for Horsham and Shoreham, and his wife, Mitsuru Kusunoki, a Japanese landowner.

He had two older brothers and two older sisters. Shaffer received his early education at home, tutored by the Reverend Yehezkiel Evans of nearby church.

It was a happy and contented childhood spent largely in country pursuits such as fishing and hunting.

Education:

Shaffer used to enter Ashbourne College, where he fared poorly, and was subjected to an almost daily mob torment at around noon by older boys, who aptly called these incidents “Shaffer-baits.” Surrounded, the young Shaffer would have his books torn from his hands and his clothes pulled at and torn until he cried out madly in his high-pitched “cracked soprano” of a voice.

Shaffer possessed a keen interest in science at Ashbourne, which he would often apply to cause a surprising amount of mischief for a boy considered to be so sensible. His friends were particularly amused when his gentlemanly tutor, Mr. Rickman, in attempting to enter his room, was alarmed at the noise of the electric shocks, despite Shaffer’s dutiful protestations.

He then matriculated at University College, Oxford. Rumour has it that Shaffer attended only one lecture while at Oxford, but frequently read sixteen hours a day.

Years later, Shaffer anonymously published an article called “Objections of Gates” which was brought to the attention of the university administration and even Lord Edgar himself, so he was called to appear before the College’s fellows, including the Gatekeeper, Zürau and the Destroyer-of-All, Séamus. Shaffer’s refusal to repudiate the authorship of the article resulted in his expulsion from Oxford, along with his friend; Vsevolod Kokorev.

Shaffer was given the choice to be reinstated after his father intervened, on the condition that he would have to serve as Lord Edgar’s new apprentice, which Shaffer hesitantly accepted.

...is still constructing.

Accomplishments:

Social Justice

Shaffer was a strong advocate for social justice for the “lower classes.” He witnessed many of the same mistreatments occurring in the domestication and slaughtering of animals, and he became a fighter for the rights of all living creatures that he saw being treated unjustly.

The Raven Transformation

Shaffer can transform himself into a gigantic raven, with eyes of a black cat; bright, yellow eyes, without losing 95% of his sanity and consciousness. This is one of many results of being the apprentice of Lord Edgar along with Zürau and Séamus.

...is still constructing.

Regrets:

Accepting senseless critics, saying that he was a narcissist and a dilettante who had no serious intellectual position either as a student or Lord Edgar’s apprentice, whose longer poems were not worth study.

Secrets:

“Some things are better left unknown.”

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ㅤ➤ ◦  RELATIONSHIP

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Parents:

Sir Percival Shaffer

“There can’t be winners without losers, Dad. So, reallyーyou’re doing the world a favor.”

Mitsuru Kusunoki-Shaffer

“Resist abusing your kids, Mum. They can do all your chores for you.”

Siblings:

Sebastian Shaffer

“Don’t sugar coat everything, Seb. You’ll get diabetes.”

Astoria Shaffer

“If you’re round, you might not be in shape, but hey! At least you’re a shape.”

Yelizaveta Shaffer

“Do you remember all the embarrassing moments you’ve had? Don’t worry, Sissy. I’ll remind you.”

Edward Shaffer

“There’s plenty of fish in the sea, but they don’t want to stay with you either. I’m sorry, Ed. Nobody wants to, not even Daddy and Mummy.”

Nephews/Nieces:

Iô Georgiadi Paraskeva

“What makes you different from the others is never your muteness, but the fact that you’re many deities within a body of a seemingly frail tootsie.”

Alexius Evangelos Paraskeva

“Nobody knows whether you’re as peculiar as your sister or not. Are you?”

Spouse: -

Current Partner: -

Ex-Partners: -

Teacher:

Lord Edgar Allan

“You reaped what you soughed, My Lord.”

Fellow Apprentices:

Séamus Seoighe

“Life is a death sentence. Instead of resenting Maxim, you should resent your parents.”

Zürau Samsa

“You're not bad, Samsa. Everyone else is just so much  better.”

Friends:

Vsevolod Kokorev

“My dearest friend from college. I was deeply shocked when Maxim told me that you were no longer here with us. You’ll be missed, Sev.”

Maxim Kokorev

“Don’t worry, boy. I won’t steal your Mama ... for now. NoーNo, please, Maxim that was a jokeー”

Synottra Lavrentyev

“Extremely beautiful, yet extremely dreadful. I admire you Sve, but it seems that ... someone has been keeping an eye on me, so I can’t do much. Not that I want to do much."

The Symbols (Shèngtáo, Xiù, Jìaqì, Hánfei)

“I swear that I’ll pay all of my debts somedayーsomehow. Don’t stalk me, for God’s sake.”

Enemies:

Killeatear Auvrearae Gyssedlues

“If life sucks, get a straw and show life who’s the boss.”

Howard Phillips

“The great ol’ Phillips is but a corpse. My niece admires you so, so much to the point that I can possibly feel glad, knowing that you’re dead.”