#it's any good 😭 idk i'll just try a bunch of things out and see where it gets me lmao

[napsaps-archive]

Hiiii i saw you wanted to try getting into digital art!! I have an ipad and apple pen so I usually play around with procreate (one time payment app) or ibis (free but you can view adds to use certain brushes for 24 hours) for art. but there are also drawing tablets like wacom and huion that you can use for the computer and laptop. Wacom is known and usually used by professionals but it can get expensive. Huion is also known as a good cheaper alternative that works just as great.

Art programs on the computer that are free and used by a lot of artists are fire alpaca, medibang and krita. I’ve tried medibang and krita theyre great, didn’t really like fire alpaca much but that’s more of a personal/user issue 😅. if you have extra money you can try paint tool sai (i think tina uses version 2 of this program!) or clip studio paint. If you have it already (or can pirate it), photoshop is also great and is used by professionals in the industry.

For tutorials, I recommend looking for it on youtube based on the program you’re using such as “[art program] [thing you want to practice/draw] tutorial” and usually a ton pops up! There are also brushes that are meant to mimic watercolor or charcoal painting online! Just search for it by “[art program] [type of brush you’re looking for] brush free” and some should pop up!

Sorry for the whole info dump ahaaa. But you dont really need fancy equipment or art program to get into art especially if it’s just a hobby. I know there are a lot of artists (even here in the fandom) who uses their phone and finger paints using free apps like ibis. There is definitely a learning curve when it comes to digital art vs traditional but once you learn a bit on how some things work it gets easier. Just have fun with it, and learn at your own pace! Hope this helps :]

i have an ipad!! so i might just work there but i also have a drawing tablet like one of the ones you plug into a computer i got it as a birthday present a few years ago so that's also an option ig, im still looking at different programs but thank you for your suggestions :))

[youremyheaven]

buut one more thing, Jupiter women trying to be the dad they never had is so true, I've definitely noticed that. My MIL is Vishakha Moon & she's kinda like, the man of the house. She had a very abusive upbringing with super incompetent parents & she ended up having to take a lot of responsibility for her siblings even as a child.

Of course she ended up with a partner who is- lowkey incompetent. He has some good qualities and he does work and all that, but he is a menacee. He expects her to do eeeverything and acts like a big man baby- he gets mad at her if she doesn't untie his shoes for him when he gets home from work. She gets up every morning at 2am with him without fail, gets his lunch ready, makes him breakfast before he goes to work. She makes him coffee and tea at his whim. He will go to the bathroom to have a shower, not bring his towel, then yell her name out incessantly until she comes and gets it for him.

Tmi but he also has no uh, aim in the bathroom- it's really gross, like, really really gross. I had a word with MIL about it, and I was kinda just like 'yeah I'm sure he doesn't mean to do it but maybe you should have a word with him' and she looked scared and kept trying to change the subject and kinda just went 'I'll make sure I clean it up after he goes in'. Like bro is scared to tell her man child ass husband to clean up after himself 😭 poor girl.. I mean I think she's content with how things are because she grew up with so much worse, so in her mind he's the best, but I did read that Vishakha Moon women in particular can absolutely worship their husbands.

She is veryyy generous but to the point that it's a bit overbearing and I feel bad but like, I live with them all currently and I'm very grateful but sometimes she's doing too much. Like she will come home with a bunch of treats and knick knacks and I'm like- thankyou but where do I even put this?? I have no space because of all of the other things you already gave me 😭💟

Also @makingspiritualityreal made a really good post on here about how in Vishakha, the feminine is debilitated so she finds herself constantly in her masculine and never able to simply rest and be the receiver.

It definitely makes sense that this situation created two children with Venusian Moons.

your MIL's relationship triggered me so much, i've grown up seeing my mom be that way and its always disgusted me 🤮🤮🤮🤢and made me mad 😡😠😠

Vishaka women worshipping their partners is so true. Look at Beyonce, Vishaka Moon and how she seems to blindly love that crusty ass cheating man 🤮🤮

I also think it applies to Vishaka men because Will Smith, Vishaka Moon is also like that with Jada, even though she's literally an energy vampire

Generous to the point of being overbearing is soooo true about Jupiter women,, they be doing TOO much and it lowkey makes you feel guilty because you know that you could never be as giving or endure what they have and still come out without any resentment or bitterness

My friend's mom is Vishaka Moon (and her dad is Bharani Moon but idk his other placements but he seems like a Solar guy tbh) and her parents have a similarly toxic marriage. Her mom packs lunch AND puts it in his car??? before he leaves for work??? she also makes separate meals for her, her dad, her sister, their dog etc :// and everytime she spoke of her mom, it felt like her whole existence revolved around just serving everyone and it always made me sick to my stomach

I'll try to find that post you mentioned <333 tysm for letting me know <33

SKSJDJJDJDK "this situation created 2 children with Venus moons" IS SO REAL IM SHAKINGGG

ive mentioned him before but my Purvaphalguni Moon friend from college was a stereotypical Venusian man (he also had many Swati placements 🥰) and his dad was an alcoholic/generally incompetent guy who never did anything and quit working??? a long time ago??? (his elder brother provided for the family) and I remember how he often went grocery shopping or ran errands in the afternoon and sometimes rushed to go home bc his mom was waiting for him 😭😭🥺everytime he spoke to his mom on the phone, he became the softest guy ever and it made me feel so 🥺🥺🥺

unlike Lunar men who are complete mama's boys (prime example, Ranbir Kapoor, Shravana Moon),, Venusian men are more mama's little helper type dudes. The difference between Lunar and Venusian men (I'm mentioning these two specifically bc they're both Yin and benefic planets and known for being devoted to their mom) is that Lunar men kind of become extremely passive and dependent on their mom and Venusian men bend over backwards to provide for her and take care of her.

Two different reactions to having a loving mom

I once knew a Rohini Moon man who told me he hasn't been eating right for a few weeks because his mom had gone to stay with her family overseas 💀💀💀and I was like??? do you just not eat then??? and he was like "yeah I have no appetite without her feeding me" 💀💀💀and mind you he was 24 years old lmao and ik some of you will say "aww thats so cute" blah blah ITS NOT CUTE, a grown ass man starving himself (all he ate was bread apparently bc he didn't like eating out 💀💀) bc his mommy wont feed him IS INSANE EWWW. i ghosted him after that conversation lmfao bc i cannot stand that passive raja beta behaviour

In India, we have something called "raja beta syndrome" which is rooted in son preference (unfortunately sex selective abortions and female foeticide/infanticide is vvvv common in india) and most men grow up being treated like royalty (raja= king, beta = son). This is why Indian men are losers lmao because they've been spoonfed their whole lives by their moms/families and they expect their wives to also be doormats and serve them for the rest of their lives.

Lunar men give me raja beta vibes :///

I like my Venus men who grew up trying to make their moms lives easier and trying to give HER royal treatment because they want to be the one who treats her right<333 these are the only kind of mommy issues I'll accept <333 like oh you dont want me to run errands or pay the bills because your mom had to work so hard and it gives you trauma to think ill have to do that and make you feel like you've failed as a man?? dw king i gotchu <333 go get those errands done.🥰🤪😜

[wrongcaitlyn]

I HAVE RAMBLINGS ABOUT TYT

Nico and Apollo def have geek out sessions over greek mythology like they are NERDS and Apollo def grew up having snippets of the Iliad and Odyssey read to him so the moment Nico showed even the slightest of interest in Greek mythology as a kid, best believe Apollo used that to warm up to him 😭🙏

ALSO I can just picture little Apollo curled up next to Leto as she read him all these different poems (I'd like to think she read to him in Greek and while Apollo wasn't completely fluent in Greek, he def understood it very well but then he lost it 😞)

Also, Leto definitely called Apollo sunshine, and that's why he calls his own kids that. Every time Apollo would ask why he was named Apollo, Leto would scoop him up and say it was bc he was the light of her life, and Apollo is the god of light, so ofc she named her pride and joy after the god of light

Anyways whatever u do don't think about sixteen year old Apollo drunk (and probably high) out of his mind, curled up in a hotel room that he hardly spent any time in wishing he could've spent more time with his mother before his father whisked him away and into the spotlight :(

UGH AND DON'T THINK ABOUT APOLLO READING THE ILIAD TO HIMSELF WHENEVER HE MISSES LETO

clearly I have very strong feelings towards the relationship Apollo has with his mother and the fact that he should've had more time with her but bc he was in the spotlight all the time as a kid he didn't get to :(

Wait, oh my god, did Apollo go to his own mother's funeral?? Bc like Will was in middle school when she died, right?? So would have he trusted Will enough to be alone in the house for a few days, or did he just not go?? And how many times did Apollo look at his sixteen year old son and realize that the neglect Zeus put him through (ignoring Apollo's very clear addiction in favor of making him famous ofc) was definitely abuse. HOW MANY TIMES DID APOLLO HAVE TO REALIZE THAT HE GREW UP TOO FAST EVERY TIME HE LOOKED AT WILL??? 😭😭😭

ALSO ALSO IDK IF IT WAS INTENTIONAL BUT HAVING APOLLO, THE PROTECTOR OF YOUNG BOYS, BE THE ONE TO RESCUE NICO FROM AN ABUSIVE SITUATION AND GAVE HIM THE RESOURCES HE NEEDED TO HEAL???? AMAZING

I think Kayla def tried to teach everyone that Will was friends with archery. Just bc archery is severely underrated 😞

(Only Piper managed to actually hit the target, and Jason somehow sliced his hand open??? He has a very faint scar now, and if someone asks about it while he's with Leo, then Leo will come up with the most ridiculous stories instead of telling them the truth 😭)

Also, I think you've mentioned it before, but did either Darren or Kayla try to teach him archery? Idk but the mental image is very funny and it probably took him a plethora of tries to hit the target and Kayla was probably so proud

ANYWAYS IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG IM DOING THIS INSTEAD OF WRITING MY CREATIVE WRITING ASSIGNMENT (I love that class but also UGHHHHH)

HAVE A GOOD DAY 🫶

FIRST OF ALL THIS JUST MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO SEE LIKE AHHSDFHLSDFJ OMG TYT RAMBLES

the whole part about apollo and leto... YES YES YESLKJDSFASDF AHHH apollo was 100% raised on greek mythology and he does have various copies of the iliad and the odyssey and other myths, an old worn-down version from his mom which had been passed down to him in her will, and a bunch of fancy pretty ones bc if he ever sees a pretty copy of the iliad or the odyssey he WILL buy it.

i think that he did go through a phase where like,,, he was just completely uninterested in that sort of stuff, considered it childhood and whatever. but i think that eventually, esp when taking in will, he went through what i'll call the "dumb and poetic try-hard intellectual" phase where he actually did read through the whole thing, read through various translations, annotated some copies, attempted to learn greek (modern greek, not ancient greek lmao), and just in general getting in touch with his heritage bc he realizes, watching will who's so small and resembles him so much, that those memories of him and his mom were actually some of his happiest moments of childhood, not annoying ones. and so he does try to replicate that, despite having not left his family on the best of terms *cough* really bad onesSLKJDF

and as someone who had a parent speak to them in their language, knew how to understand that language, but refused to learn it themselves bc it was boring, there's gonna be such an intense regret there from apollo, thinking that he should've taken the opportunity to learn when he could. he definitely would still understand bits and pieces, maybe a few quotes that were his or his mom's favorites, but it's just a lot harder to learn a language once you've grown up ://

as for the funeral, he did not go, because he still wasn't on speaking terms with his father, and well,,, yeah. he didn't want to cause a scene, also didn't want to tell will much about it, but i do think leto left some things to apollo in her will that apollo had to fight pretty hard to actually get sent to him

and GOD the emotions of apollo watchign will grow up... AHSDFJ ILL NEVER GET OVER IT like its hard to accept but he eventually does recognize it. and it's painful but it also feels good to know that that'll never happen. to watch his son at 16 spend his afternoon doing homework, and at 17 having a healthy relationship with his best friend, and at 18 applying to colleges... it definitely makes apollo proud, but it also breaks his heart a bit. because he couldn't imagine ever forcing the childhood that he had on his son, and he has to admit that his father hadn't felt the same sense of protection or care, and that even though his mom did, she wasn't in a position to do anything that would truly help :/

ALSO ALSO IDK IF IT WAS INTENTIONAL BUT HAVING APOLLO, THE PROTECTOR OF YOUNG BOYS, BE THE ONE TO RESCUE NICO FROM AN ABUSIVE SITUATION AND GAVE HIM THE RESOURCES HE NEEDED TO HEAL???? AMAZING

KSDJFLKASJDFSD PARALLELS AHHSDHFHDSFJ no bc that actually just makes me so happyyyyy like yes apollo is a good father yes he always has been and yes he always will be!!!! to literally anyone who needs it. i love him so much. can you believe when i was first outlining this fic i was like "hm, yeah, he plays an important role, but like i'll make sure not to make him a major character or anything"

now we're here. apollo is probably like. the third most major character after nico and will. in greatest of luxuries, at least.

kayla absoluTELY tried to train everyone in archery, and apollo's trying to avoid it bc he's trying not to think back to 2002 when darren tried to teach him archery, and kayla has the exact same instruction style bc darren had taught her, and hes actually better than will and will's friends bc he's learned before, but he fails on purpose bc the memories are too painful because THEY WERE HAPPY-

sorry pollen is possessing me! it will never leave

ANYWAYS IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG IM DOING THIS INSTEAD OF WRITING MY CREATIVE WRITING ASSIGNMENT (I love that class but also UGHHHHH)

this is SO real bc i am responding to this to avoid doing my lit essaysdlkjf

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK

[the-s1lly-corner]

OOO what about a Dark Fey reader like Maleficent? that was being hunted down by a dangerous group of cryptid hunters, and had a broken wing n wounded by iron bullets but kept running.

And the Creeps found them took em in. and since ferfolk cannot lie,.. caught them off guard with a question on how they felt about that creep 😉

I expect to see Slenderman!👁👁 and another ig👍plz

idk I rarely see Supernatural like readers, it's a little disappointing imo. I love powerful self-inserts ok?

Slenderman with a Fey!S/o

UWAAAA I'm sorry for taking so long to get to this !! I've kinda been sucked up in a bunch of irl stuff !! (Nothing serious, just me working on things)!!

Admittedly I have never watched maleficent; so I'll solely be going off the info given in this ask I hope that's alright ☝️😔 and I apologize in advance if it's no good 😭💔

As you specifically brought up slenderman, he's gonna be our star today!! I was originally going to do the full list of characters but my brain js

A raisin

Also also!! I totally get what you mean ab the shortage of supernatural readers!!! Not just in the creepypasta fandom; but really any fandom! Let the insert have powers, let them be super strong, ect ect !!

You'd stumble into him after trying to hide and take shelter in his woods

Normally, he'd take down any trespassers after stalking them for a bit; but he was just too curious about you to make that the case

I dont know, I always think of slenderman to carry that kind of curiosity about the world and other creatures; I feel like that makes him more interesting than the fandoms standard "stern and oddly fatherly" take... also I just live the idea of curious cryptids!!

Moving on

He'd help patch you up with the resources in the forest; I've seen mixed opinions on whether or not slenderman has weird healing powers but personally; I think he has regen abilities that can only be applied to himself! Unrelated to the ask I know, but a quick little fun aside and little bonding point for him and s/o if they have the same deal going on

As for shelter? I'm personally still on the fence on if I wanna make the manor thing a part of my personal universe and hc that I write for these silly lads; but rn I've settled for a version of it! Not as grand or tidy as the old fandom hyped it up to be; it's a lil smaller and kinda... run down

Still livable, though, and you're more than welcome inside if you need somewhere to stay

Granted, I'm not entirely sure how the topic of romance would be brought up with him, but let's say he picks up on some behavior from you that makes him start putting together a picture

Bro has zero rizz I'm sorry

Regardless, he eventually asks the question; and as the rules go, you're kinda forced to tell him how you feel

I think regardless of if he reciprocates or expected your answer, he'd be surprised

I mean how many people are out here flirting with a forest monster, to their face

I think it could work, honestly! The relationship I mean!! I wish i had more hcs since this is such a fun idea, but I genuinely dont know much about fairy stuff and all the lore regarding them

But onto some more side hcs/little ideas to make up for the lack of stuff !!

If you need comfort, about the whole being hunted thing, slenderman is a good listener; and he understands what it's like, bro probably has to deal with people trying to get a look at him all the time. He gets it

Want revenge on them? Well if the hunters followed you into the woods they probably wont last long anyways; despite the whole curiosity thing he can be... rather territorial

Day to day life with slenderman is interesting as is, but with a fellow non-human companion? Shenanigans will likely ensue

What kind? Cant say, due to my lack of knowledge 😔☝️

Too injured to move around on your own? If you need to go somewhere slenderman will either fetch it for you, or just carry you to where you gotta go

Also he totally wont make it habit; even before the romantic relationship is fully formed

It just activates his neurons 😔

[bauhausluvr]

a lot happened today, good and bad, and im still processing it. but i'll try to retell it all below. warning: this will be long and graphic

major tw for self-harm

so i had class with M and everything was fine, I even got to talk with her a few times which i was really happy about. but later when we were doing our own thing, she got really fascinated with this one student which made me want to cry because i was jealous she was so intrigued and spent so much time with them. this student is also so much cooler than me so i understand why. i got super upset at myself for feeling this way, so with very little thought i left the room to go to the bathrooms and consequently slash my arm up

i had new blades and i was in such a state where i wasn't thinking so i wasn't careful with how i cut, i just wanted to do some damage, and i ended up bleeding much more than i usually would. once i saw how much blood there was on me and on the floor, i realised i had to stop the bleeding and used a bunch of paper towels to make it stop. eventually, unluckily for me, i ran out and spent a long time just rinsing my arm under the water (which in hindsight definitely prolonged the bleeding), but i couldn't go to the next stall for paper since there were people outside and it seemed to keep being taken.

had i not gone in the stall with barely any paper left i probably would've avoided this, but this led to me having to ask the people outside for paper and since i was kind of panicked i was saying i had a medical emergency, so this led to them getting a teacher down to check on me and basically the whole process of first aid coming down to bandage my arm n setting a welfare meeting for another day since this was at the end of the day.

what i didn't expect however was M to come down as well. i felt super embarrassed and ashamed once i saw her face, i didn't know how to react. but once she heard I was harming myself she came in to comfort me, even calling me her 'baby' when coming down and hugging me. i hugged her back tightly and sobbed into her shoulder, it was so comforting.. she has such a motherly charm its crazy. she soon revealed she also used to self-harm, even at work, which made me feel so much more at ease since i felt extremely bad about myself as i feel like i should've grown out of these feelings by now, but i clearly hadn't.

after all the paperwork and talk was done, i went back to her class to get my stuff back and found she edited my work and added her own little charm to it while i was gone (we were just playing around with an editing program) 😭. since everyone was gone by then i asked to talk w her alone and ppl kept coming in the class, so M grabbed my wrist gently and led me out somewhere where only us two can talk

i basically thanked her for her hug and all her kind words, and was sorry that she had to witness me at such a state. following this we talked for a little bit about her own struggles with self-harm and having to be sectioned, and about her thoughts on me which, i wish i could remember all the details, but i was so messed up i only remember it partly. regardless, it was lovely to hear and definitely what i needed at the time.

one of the best parts of this whole aftermath conversation was when i not-so-jokingly said i have mommy issues and she laughed saying "I KNOW" 😭😭😭. i was rlly taken aback by that so i stuttered and asked what made her come to that conclusion, and she basically just talked about stuff like my conservative mother and catholic upbringing which i brought up to her. she later said that she had her own struggles w her daughter and how she kinda sees that in me, to which i hesitantly said "i kinda wish you were my mum" and SHE SAID "me too right now" ?!!??"! IDK HOW I DIDN'T IMPLODE RIGHT THEN..

during this whole conversation we hugged so many more times and it was kinda awkward at one point cuz her lanyard got stuck on my cardigan LMFAO but it was so healing and awesome to talk w her about all this, even if i wish she didn't have to witness any of it. there's so much more i could say but if i gave all the details then this post would be 10x longer. obviously i didn't mention why i cut in the first place, and i'm contemplating even doing so to anyone cuz i don't want her taken away from me.

with all that said despite all the horrible stuff, something good came out of it and i'm grateful for that, although i worry it deepened my attachment to M even further....which honestly was inevitable at this point anyway.

[daz4i]

ok ok rather than make a bunch of annoying vent posts i'm just gonna put everything on my mind all in one post to let it out 🔥 you absolutely do not need to read this, this is honestly so ridiculously long. my brain better feel clean for like at least 2 days after this fr

i knew i was gonna crash after this week and i think this is it 🥲 i was so tense for literally a whole week (even more tbh, bc i was preemptively scared of how much i have to do too) and i think the adrenaline drop kicked in after the peak of this one (aka being in a big social event. haven't been to one of those in literal years)

also. my parents have been sick this week and i think i maybe have contracted it too? 😭 if that is indeed the case it literally kicked in in the last like hour of the event, i was perfectly fine beforehand bc i avoided being in the same closed space as them when i could (aka kept my distance or made sure windows were open around me all the time jic). bc suddenly my whole body hurts like it hasn't in a long while. tho that might be the adrenaline crash too who knows 🥲 ig i'll see how i feel when i wake up

i have not been creative in awhile and i can feel my brain drowning in gunk lol. technically i tried writing songs a couple of times lately but they came out so bad i can't finish them. or anything. and i feel like shit abt failing to create literally anything. and i keep seeing people be creative and make so much or sharing their work fearlessly and it's always so much better than mine too that i'm burning with jealousy that i can't turn off (and can't channel into my own creation bc well. it comes out shitty! so the cycle not only continues but in fact gets worse each time). every time someone tells me i'm good it feels like they're lying to make me feel better or bc they love me so they're. biased and see everything i make as good bc it's me, so i can't count that. every time *i* feel like smth i made is good there's some glaring imperfection i don't know how to iron out so i start hating the whole piece. i don't know how to become better when every time i try to practice i end up wanting to claw my own eyes out as punishment for being so talentless and dumb

(the dumb thing too is. oh my god this is gonna sound so silly but. i try to make myself feel better by solving puzzles or trivia or riddles etc bc these are things i'm usually good at. but lately i can't be proud of myself for succeeding at any of them, and i keep beating myself harder for every time i fail or don't do as well as i used to, bc it feels like i'm failing at the only thing i'm supposed to be good at. also i just generally keep doing stupid things lately esp when it comes to my time management or taking care of my body in various ways, i keep forgetting things which is smth i almost never do, i struggle to get through conversations with others bc i trip over my words or make mistakes constantly, generally i'm just being stupid in various ways)

right now i am. so anxious. about so many things. here let me just make it into a list starting with very small to. probably still small but it feels big to me

1. this is so silly but. i am literally too tired to put small earrings back in after changing them to long one for the party. and i'm scared the holes will close up in my sleep. but this is literally so much work 💔 idk if the holes haven't healed properly or if i'm using the wrong metal so i keep getting infections bc it's been A While (two years. apparently. maybe more??) and they haven't healed yet. like i said a silly thing to get stressed over but i am. very tense

2. i don't know. if the people i knew in the party actually didn't recognize me or if they ignored me on purpose. bc i stood next to some of them while my besties were talking to them too and they didn't even say hi (or like introduced themselves the way others that i didn't know have done). one of them was literally my bestie for a good few months a few years ago and even tho i grew a beard i. don't think i changed THAT much??? also i don't think it's hard to make the connection abt who i am given how tight this community is. someone i haven't talked to since like 2015 bc we had beef recognized me even. so how come they didn't. i met one in a con recently and she did recognize me so. h. did i do something wrong. did someone say smth bad about me. i don't know i don't understand social rules enough to figure it out 😭

3. this is another thing abt that tbh 🥲 while it was very fun and a super cool event, it did remind me very painfully of why my social anxiety is so bad 😭 i felt like i made 10 social errors per minute. i didn't know what to say half the time so i just smiled or laughed and i think that made me seem creepy idk. a lot of people were very nice and i think i did mostly fine with them but also maybe not. idk. i am definitely overthinking things but what if i'm right. it's not that out of the question. i am known to fail social interactions there's a reason why i do my best to avoid them

4. and this is kinda bringing me to a thing i have on my mind a lot recently. bc i'm doing the recovery thing. and a lot of people - friends family and professionals who help me there - tell me i am capable of more than i think or admit. and i get WHY they think that bc i *am* doing a lot compared to the literal nothing i've been up to for years. but i am very much pushing outside my limits, which is why i'm constantly feeling like shit lately i think (not that i was doing great before but. yeah). it probably seems mostly effortless bc i just do them without beating much around the bush but that's only when i mentally prepare myself days or even weeks ahead (for reference, i'm talking about things like. being in public. or taking a bus). or the work i do for projects that... honestly idk how i'm doing that either. i am the laziest person ever and i have no ability to concentrate yet i managed to sit down and do work and do it well and learn text by heart and research and write for hours and ??? it does not feel like myself. but it also kinda does bc i need to very forcefully push myself into it and berate myself for hours until i actually get up to do anything so. it's not smth that comes naturally to me. i don't consider myself capable of things. i'm just very good at pretending i'm unbothered (up until i start crying uncontrollably at least lol) so ppl think i am. unfortunately. bc then they expect me to do more. or they pressure me into it then get disappointed when i can't do it (ig that's the core of it for me... i don't want anyone to develop expectations about me, bc i know i won't be able to meet them, at least not long term. so i insist i can't do anything, bc sometimes - often - i really really can't. i don't wanna be judged by my best. feels false to even call it that tbh. but that's bc it's so rare, it's the best for a reason, the absolute peak i can get to, as pathetic as it is. bc the problem is, when this is already beyond my limits, i literally can't go further, but that's what they want me to do 💔)

5. god. this is also a small thing probably but the accidental lie i mentioned. for context i am giving a lecture abt p5's mythology in the next con, that's the thing i was working on lately. anyway when i signed up i gave background information about myself, and to make myself sound more fitting for the job i said that i learned the topic in [university that specializes in said topic] bc i did - just. 2 classes. that's it. i was telling the truth there, technically (most of my knowledge on the topic comes from independent research, but the classes i took did help with that too, as in i knew where to look for info and things to look out for) (also for reference i'm gonna be fr. i did not finish these classes. social anxiety got to me and i was scared to go to anything outside zoom lessons which weren't an option anymore unfortunately)

ANYWAY when they told me i got in they sent me a "revised" bio which was just what i originally sent them, so i said okay. but now the whole thingie was posted and i can see my bio there and. they said i graduated from [uni] and used language that implies i have a degree in it, probably to make me sound more credible, but it's not true!!!! 😭😭😭 the thing i said was definitely embellishment but it WAS true enough that if asked directly about it i could spin it somehow ("oh i haven't finished yet" "yeah i took a couple of classes when i could to enrich my knowledge") but this. makes it so much harder

chances are i won't be asked bc why would anyone ask abt that. but ever since i started writing the script i was so stressed about people calling me out for being wrong abt info, so i even added a disclaimer of "these are old texts that have many versions that vary according to location or were changed with time uwu if you know a different version of this story that's probably why uwu" and "due to the time constraint i'm giving a very simplified and short version of this topic uwu" bc given that i'm talking a lot abt judaism. to a mainly (or most likely, entirely) jewish audience. it's enough that there is someone who is religious or previously ultra orthodox in the audience that if i make a mistake they could point it out. and then i'll start panicking and lose my train of thought and fuck everything up while i'm already so stressed as is and-

so like i've been super stressed abt all that^ until now but that misinfo in my bio is raising the stakes for me 😭 bc now what if someone who went to this uni and majored in this topic calls me out on never seeing me there. or they can tell the info i'm giving isn't smth that's taught there or isn't the way it's taught there. this is such a specific and unlikely fear but i can't not stress about it because TECHNICALLY it's possible, it COULD happen even if that's not too likely

6. all of this is while i'm also struggling with bureaucracy around that art program i'm signing up to, idk if i'll get in yet or not bc i need some files to be approved and idk if they would, and idk what i'll do if they don't. or what if they do! i'm honestly so scared to start it, idk how i'm gonna go from nothing to waking up early and driving an hour 4 times a week to be active and around people for a few hours. tbh i don't think i can, but also if this gets approved then i have to, so the government's money doesn't get flushed down the toilet bc of me.

7. all this shit has a major impact on my physical health 🥲 not getting into details bc that's def tmi territory but. i'm fighting for my life over a certain stress-caused medical thing for weeks now. only other time i had it was when the war originally started so naturally i was extra stressed then, but like, this is to give you a reference for how majorly stressed i am now. my regular pains are flaring up more often too which makes things harder to handle as well (like, stressing abt not doing enough work, bc i'm literally in too much pain to do anything but lie down. or being scared of the plans i have for the week bc what if these pains catch me when i'm outside or with people. how am i supposed to push through them. what if they catch me when i'm in public and i have to sit down in the middle of the street. what if i'm with people and i'm holding them back from doing smth bc of that. etc etc)

8. ofc all this is happening during the war and i keep seeing things i really don't wanna see from ppl in my country and the west 🥲 and it's like, the mix of guilt over this happening at all, and the frustration over feeling like i have nothing to do about it, and fear about how things are gonna escalate in either direction, and seeing friends from other countries posting things i agree with but can't condone full heartedly bc well. this'll hurt me directly, as selfish as it sounds (tbf, when i say hurt me directly, i'm talking about me and my loved ones' lives being endangered), but also seeing said loved ones talking about things i can't agree with morally, yet can't fully refute either because life is. complicated. i have a lot more to say tbh but i'm too tired to acknowledge every single facet of every single related issue which will open me to a lot of hate so. best to leave it here. unfortunately

idk where to put this. sorry for the sudden topic change. it feels bad to be stressed over that but, there is a guy who i know likes me like a lot. i think i'm like exactly his taste and he's always so excited about seeing or talking to me. one of my besties - or maybe more. idk - really wants us to get together bc tbh it'll probably be good for both of us, and y'all know how desperate i am to be loved lol. but i can't bring myself to like him the way he likes me 💔 he's fun but i have a hard time with one on one interactions so i can't really progress things and tbh, idk if i'm currently in a mindset where i even should, given all that^. also i know for a fact i can't handle an actual relationship, and i'm scared i'll disappoint him or drive him away if i'll be my real unfiltered self, and ik i need to be obsessed with someone to get attached this quickly but i can't force it either. and to put it more directly... i'm perfect for him and his taste, but not the other way around 🥲 (tho tbf idk what my taste even is. i identify as aroace for a reason). i don't wanna string him along but i think i already kind of am 😭 i like him but not as much as he likes me, but what i probably like here even more is the feeling of being liked. and that makes me feel like a dick. i also feel guilty for not liking him the same way ig even tho ik it's stupid bc it's not like i can control it. and yet

so yeah this is. a lot of shit. all at once. both silly and not silly at all. my brain is in constant overload. i get violently suicidal every time i have a moment alone with my thoughts or when i see anything that reminds me of that. bc all this stress makes life feel so impossible - it IS impossible - that i can't handle the thought of it, but half of the things that cause me stress are supposed to be for the purpose of distracting me from how stressful everything is. so. what the fuck am i supposed to do about all that. how am i supposed to live like at all

[magpierrecanarie]

Actual doodles in class this time! They're kinda ugly tho since they're mostly for me to playtest the general gist of how they're like as a character(?) Idk how to properly describe it.

TL;DR: I talk a bit about the characters depicted here—— an unnamed character with a halo (+ her younger child self) and Maylisa, the character depicted in the bottom right.

↓↓ Click here if you'd like to know more! ↓↓

It's not obvious since these doodles were from quite a while ago, but the unnamed character here, specifically her younger self, was also present in a previous post. To be percise, it's the Orenji post with Magpierre where she was seen walking with her and the lyrics "That faraway island, covered in morning glow" was written overhead.

I haven't sorted through her entire story yet but she's based off of a Steven Universe OC I had when I was younger called "Crystal", so I'll be calling her that for now.

Of course, if you know anything about SU, you'd know that it doesn't make any sense for a Gem to be called a "Crystal" since crystals aren't gems. But because I was kinda of an odd child when I was younger (still am, I have very bad reading comprehension so I understand things differently), I wanted a character that was based off of the Cluster because I thought they (it?) were an awfully cool concept that was honestly very underused considering how much of a threat they were played out to be.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that the original "Crystal" was actually NOT a whole gem, but is actually a more stable version of the small Cluster gems shown throughout the show, y'know those weirdly formed hands and feet?

Here, the original "Crystal" was a Cluster Gem made out of 80% Sapphires and 20% Lapis Lazuli, an experiment by the Diamonds to see if they can reuse, reduce, recycle™ the shattered remains of the soldiers from the opposing Crystal Gems' forces. Partially because Sapphires are rare and they were running out of them due to the war, the other is to see if they can still maintain the abilities of a Sapphire and their consciousness despite them being a merge of multiple different Sapphires. After all, they were cut from the exact same cloth, no?

Now, you might be asking: "Didn't you literally just state that they're 20% Lapis Lazuli as well, why aren't you bringing that up?"

Well about that, like any good Manhwa author (fuck them mfs for leaving me on a cliffhanger every single episode😭😭), I will leave it to the actual post I'll be making for the original "Crystal", since I just managed to find an old artwork of her (along with a BUNCH of notes) while typing this out.

Damn, the post's getting a bit long so I'll have to speed up the pace.

As I mentioned in a couple paragraphs before, I don't have the full story and personality set up for the new "Crystal" yet. However, the basis of her entire story is that she's kind of this semi-immortal, living artifact of history who's been through most of the major historical events herself. "Semi-immortal" because the sole reason she's still alive is because of the numerous amounts of gems/gemshards she's embedded into her skin (for story reasons, I'll clarify more in the future).

I don't particularly feel like addressing this part but, she used to be this experimented-on child that escaped from a run down laboratory (right before the calendar changed) with her friend, who's a merge between one of the Anguished and their original self. Said friend was already long dead before Maylisa came to find "Crystal" (or hell, way before Maylisa was ever born tbh), but I'll try to find some time to talk about them as well since they're also based off of an old OC of mine that I'd repurposed for this universe.

There were a lot more I'd like to talk about (stuff like how Crystal escaped from the laboratory, how she was experimented on, how her friendship with the other experiments came to be formed, what happened after she left), but I don't want to leave future me with a bunch of retcons and a lack of explanations so, I'll be going more in-depth once I sort out her as a character!

See you on Sunday! B) I'll probably be posting fanart then? Maybe?

[causenessus]

HI LOVELY!! good morning afternoon or evening to you! how’s your day been!! i hope you’ve eaten AND REMEMBER TO EAT DURING UR LONG SHIFTS OR I WILL APPEAR ON UR SCREEN !!! (lovingly) the way i gasped when i read your response because i was just like… YOU DIDNT EAT? :( i was so distraught but i hope whatever u had for dinner was good, but still !! always remember to eat and take care of yourself or the ghost of me will scold u (lovingly again) (nothing but love for you always)

today i had banh xeo for breakfast (tbh at this point i feel like you can guess what nationality i am LMAO) but OMG YOU LIKE VIET FOOD?? WE ARE SO SOULMATES !! TWIN FLAME !! AND OMG THATS SO CUTE I HAVE A VOICE IM HHHH that’s so cute i feel so very honoured but omg yesterday while i was like doing whatever right i had a realization that im literally like mystic messenger right now with the “make sure you eat!!” “how are you!!” like IM LITERALLY A CHARACTER IN MYSTIC MESSENGER RIGHT NOW THATS CRAZY (id be so embarrassed if you didn’t know what mystic messenger is but also would not blame you) ALSO YES WE CAN YAP TOGETHER I LOVE YAPPING BUT IM DEFINITELY YAPPING TOO MUCH LIKE I WANNA REPLY TO EVERYTHING YOU SAID SO IM LIKE HHH YAP YAP YAP me and ness are literally yapper and yapper like im trying to hold back but im here like omg among us??? omg whack dreams??? i wanna know what dreams??? omg school?? i’m school soon too!!

but but one more thing omg i’m so sorry LOL BUT I FEEL LIKE WE’RE IN THE SAME TIMEZONE?? BECAUSE EVERYTIME YOU MENTION THE TIME IN YOUR POSTS i check my time and im like huh.. silly… coincidence, but it’s 4pm for me rn !!maybe im crazy maybe im not but omg when it gets to school you can 100% rant about it because i will 100% do it too HAHA school has me like like genuinely tweaking like one small thing and im like OH MY GOD YOU WILL NOTTTT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED TODAY

omg sorry i need to wrap this up but yes try again is amazing don’t doubt yourself and u can always yap to me whenever whenever like i’ll literally make a burner account and dm you instead so we can yap without having to flood your blog or if you don’t mind i don’t mind but mango anon loves you very much and mango anon would want ness to take care of herself forever and always and HAVE A GOOD DAY !!! xoxoxo

AAAAA OMG I AM HERE LIKE 11 HOURS LATER <33 DO NOT WORRY I AM EATING AS WE SPEAK BEFORE MY LONG SHIFT tbh i felt like so nauseous about eating anything though today idk why (i have like two suspicions lmao i def know why) but since i'm working i was like "then i'll just pick something up on the way there!!" so i went to my groccery store to get a sandwhich BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY </333 so i'm having a blazing dragon poke bowl instead??? and it's okay 😔 like i don't know how i feel yet about groccery store sushi and stuff but i've had it before!! it's just a bunch of spicy imitation crab, cucumber, carrots, and rice and i'm mainly just there for the rice. AND OMG i walked around the store bc i was trying to see if they had liquid death (caffeinated tea i think. i don't like it but i really need caffeine today </3) and they didn't have any and i decided to go back to like their little food section to get bao (you can probably guess my ethnicity too 😭) and i almost got hit bc this man WHIPPED around when i tried to pass him like i literally ducked i was so scared he was about to hit me and that man was STILL not aware of me. ANYWAY SORRY RANDOM STORY YOU AND ME AND VIET FOOD!!! TWIN FLAMES!!

ALSO OMG MYSTIC MESSENGER 😭 BRO I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT 707 LIKE TWO DAYS AGO WHEN THAT WHOLE ANON APOCALYPSE HAPPENED I WAS LIKE "i'm going to go 707 on these people and find out where they live and haunt them /hj" PLEASE I FORGOT ALL ABOUT THEIR LITTLE "remember to eat" messages and everything but it's so cute <33 and YES we will yap together!! i went in to school today although it starts tomorrow to switch up my schedule and going there was HORRIBLE i saw so many disgusting people :/// BUT i have a pretty good schedule now so it has it's pros and cons!!! i just give people dirty looks and accidentally saw "ew" aloud all the time :))) AND IK THAT SOUNDS MEAN BUT LIKE YK HOW PEOPLE ARE and the people that live in my state are all rich privileged kids and it never changes 😭 i see them everywhere AND THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME AND ACT THE SAME AND ARE GROSS

and LMAO A BURNER ACCOUNT I WOULD TOTALLY TAKE IT THOUGH!!! i'd love to talk to you whenever please please please feel free to make one and dm whenever you'd like!! <3 I LOVE SEEING YOUR ASKS THOUGH I LITERALLY WILL BE HAPPY EITHER WAY AS LONG AS I GET TO TALK TO YOU <3 I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY TODAY ANON!!

[sunlightandsuffering]

Just watched this YT video about a Reddit story in which a woman is happily married with kids but finds out about her husbands "hidden Tinder account" and basically him "cheating" on her, and after outing him as a cheater to their shared friends and family and divorcing him (and a whole bunch of events), a year later, finds out it was all their neighbours doing by somehow getting the husband's intimate pictures and using them to catfish women on Tinder, the whole post is about her asking how she could make amends with him and repair their relationship it reminded me of your divorce so much you got no idea lmao 😭 as if I was reading the same story again, literally could felt the same hurt this woman and Mikasa felt over destrying a marriage with the love of their lifes over a false accusation of cheating and them trying to fix their relationships Gotta admit I like your EreMika version better, cuz of how funny it is and cuz the reddit story ends with the marriage broken for good and them split up 😔, mainly cuz the husband felt like after everything that happened their marriage was broken beyond repair (even if they still love each other deeply), and I can't think about that for my beloveds 😣 I like to believe they would find a way to love each other again, even if it takes them a lifetime to do it 🤧 Kinda wishing to see how you would wrap the whole thing tbh, gotta love this au for how angsty it and I just need to know if there is a happy ending for them! (Feel free to ignore this ask if you want to tho! either if you don't want to spoil anything or you simply don't want to talk abt it, I know how you feel about talking about this au ever since your blog got flooded with ppl slandering Mikasa for it) (This a little vent off but Redditors are really a different breed I swear, they left comments on the woman's post blaming her for not being able to foresee the future and realize he wasn't cheating on her, as if she didn't have reasons to believe her husband was cheating, like I understand the husband had it way worse but she was a victim too ffs)

omgggg reddit does always have the wildest stuff I agree lol, like u never know what the fuck ur gonna read. But that's so heartbreaking ugh! But this is kind of what I wanted to achieve in divorce AU, like it's no one's fault, but I wanted angst where no one could really be blamed it was just circumstance and unfortunate misunderstandings! JUST LIKE A SHOUJO MANGA LMFAO !but don't worry i ALWAYS give happy endings, u can count on me for that, I'll never end something with angst I just don't have it in me lol.

but that's so heartbreaking for the couple, hope they fucking sewed that neighbour or something omg like that's awful, he literally broke up a marriage!!! ruined lives!!!

But yeah ur right the whole divorce au idk i haven't touched it in a while bc for a bit there it was getting so heated lol, and I don't get paid enough to field everyone arguing with each other in my ask box and arguing back myself lol, it's just too much effort. I'm definitely down to give it a happy ending though I just need some inspo, I'm like trying to remember where I left off with it and I think the last thing I wrote a drabble for was angst lol?? Where they were fighting in Eren's hallway or bedroom or something? And before that was the seafood drabble LOL!!!!! I'm trying to think of how I could resolve it, I'm down for happy suggestions if you have any anon!!

[dxncingwithastrxnger]

What would be Mike and Eleven’s thing? like you know how couples have that thing that they enjoy doing together (for example: I think Lumax’s thing is watching movies bc of that one scene😭) anddd if u don’t mind also telling me any behaviors that u think they especially exhibit with each other idk

Even if u don’t answer this I still enjoy ur replies to asks and rlly like ur blog💗💗💗

I love both of these questions, oh my goodness!!!! And first of all, I'm glad you enjoy my blog so much!!! It's always good to know that people enjoy the content that I post!! And also, I'll always reply to any asks that I get unless they're like,,, spammers or hate or something like that, tbh, for obvious reasons, lmao. And now onto your questions!!

Okay, so, I've definitely given this one some thought and I have a few things in mind. And also, yes, going to the movies is definitely Lumax's thing, they go as often as they can, especially because of everything that happened 😭

And when it comes to Mike and El, I definitely think that at least one of their things is like,,, food and cooking/baking, cause like, a lot of her first foods outside of the lab were from Mike when she was down in the basement, and of course eggos stuck with El like super glue, and then the scenes in season 4 of them with the milkshakes and then them with the pizza and whatnot, I just feel like they're gonna do a lot of cooking together and trying out new foods together (ones that aren't as crazy as fruit on pizza, obviously, because Mike has issues with that 😂) and whatnot. And then ALSO pillow/blanket forts!!! They're definitely that couple that has cute lil blanket fort dates and they almost always have one built somewhere in their house or apartment. Sometimes they'll just spend a whole day or night trying to see just how big of one they can make, using every single resource they have available to do it. Sometimes they'll use them as ways to surprise each other. Like one of them will come home and there's one big fort or a bunch of smaller ones all around the house and then they have to go through and follow signs or clues or arrows throughout the whole place until they eventually find a present or a note or something like that, or sometimes just the other person who then delivers the surprise themselves. AND AND AND Mike definitely uses that method when proposing proposing El!!!! She'll come home one day and there's just this giant blanket fort throughout a really big portion of the house and she goes along and follows these arrows and sometimes the arrows will come with like, a little note or present, like an "I love you" there and a new pair of earrings there and then she finally reaches the last spot that has one last paper that's just like, "Okay, now turn around" and she turns and sees that she's in their bedroom but it's been completely redecorated with pretty fairy lights and there's bouquets of her favorite flowers everywhere and there's blankets that have been made into a little princess canopy above their bed and all this and as El's taking everything in, she then sees Mike and he's all like, "Hi" all casually but also grinning like crazy and kinda fidgeting a little bit cause he's just so excited and El's just like, "Mike, this is incredible, what is all this for??" And Mike's just like, "Well, I kinda had something that I wanted to ask you, and I've been wanting to ask you for a long while, but it's never really been the right time until now." And El's just like, "Okayyyy, so what is it? Is everything okay?" And then Mike just grins more, his whole face lit up with so much excitement and anticipation and he just pulls the little ring box out of his pocket and gets down on his knees and opens the box and is just like, "El Hopper, the love of my life, will you marry me?" And El's quiet for a moment and then she kinda squeaks and is like, "Mike, holy shit!" And Mike laughs because El doesn't usually just casually cuss like that and then she goes over to him and pulls him off of the ground and kisses him and then pulls back and says "Yes, of course, yes!" And then kisses him again over and over and Mike's laughing while also trying to kiss her back each time and and and 🥺🥺🥺 I didn't mean to go into that whole thing but I have absolutely no regrets about it, tbh, lmao

But anyways!!! Now onto behaviors that I think Mike and El exhibit with each other or things they really only share with each other. So, first of all, I don't know if this really counts in this specific category, but imma mention is anyways, tbh. So, I have a really big headcanon that Mike ends up going into writing and becoming an author and I really think that for a long while after he first starts actually writing stories and whatnot, he really only shares them with El and not with anyone else and it's kinda something that they just have together, you know? El always tells her exactly what she genuinely thinks about his writings and he takes all of her opinions and ideas and whatnot completely serious. Of course, this still stays intact even after Mike starts being more open with everyone about his writing and his interest in it, but still, El ends up always being his first editor/proofreader besides himself and she's always there for him to bounce ideas off of, whether it's just a simple short story or a longer story that he wants to take a shot at, and she's definitely someone that provides a lot of inspiration for him with things, tbh 😌😌😌 And also, some other ones. I definitely think that using sign language to communicate with each other is one, and I also think that they're very...quiet? With each other. Like, with friends, they're social and talkative and whatnot. And I mean, yeah, they still talk when it's just the two of them. But at the same time, they eventually come to a point where a lot of the time, they don't need to. I mean, I've talked before in previous posts about how occasionally El will go nonverbal and decide she doesn't really wanna talk much during certain times for various reasons, but I also think that with El, Mike uses that time to be quiet, too. Mike's a very social and extroverted and vocal person a lot of the time, but with El, he can be however he wants to be, and she'll still stick around. She won't mind it at all if sometimes he just doesn't feel like talking, just like he doesn't mind it if she doesn't. And the main difference between when he's with friends and family and when he's just with El, is that eventually they get to a point where outloud communication isn't even needed a lot of the time. They're very in tune with each other, in sync. They're one of those couples that can just look the other in the eyes and know what they're thinking, have a whole conversation all while staying completely silent. And Mike really starts to embrace a lot of that. There's also the fact that I believe Mike is one of those people that gets lost in his own head a lot, and so while he's just with El, rather than being brought out of that, he knows that El will just let him be in his head for as long as he wants to or needs to and El will just wait patiently until he's back out of it again and wanting to talk and communicate verbally, just like he does with her when she doesn't want to actually talk. There's a very profound understanding between them with a lot of things, but this one in my opinion, is definitely one of the big ones, tbh, and definitely something that stays just between the two of them. It might be mentioned, or the others might motive it at times, but it's never something that anyone else really understands besides the two of them, you know?

So yeah!!! This was definitely a pretty long post, but it was so worth it!!!! This actually helped me bring out a lot of my thoughts that hadn't fully formed yet or I hadn't gotten to really talk about much yet, so I definitely really love being able to do that!!!! Thank you for your amazing questions and for sending this ask just in general!!!! I absolutely loved answering it and I appreciate it so much!!!!! Hope you're having a wonderful day/night!!!!! 💜💜💜

[heliosoll]

"I know I'm being very cordial in this response but I do hope it comes across that I'm sorry about hurting your feelings." Bestie shut up that is your sincerity 😭 the way you handled that whole situation has me 🥺🥰 love u and this safe and drama free blog!! Also not sure if im overstepping here but i did want to give my unsolicited personal opinion (yikes) just because i think it would give some perspective to u maybe idk jskaka. You've mentioned a few times that you to some extent see yourself coming across as blunt or maybe even me@n (censoring that bc u r not spoiler alert) and i was trying to think of how to word and explain this and i must have ✨️manifested✨️ the answer bc u literally gave me the perfect example in the tags of the ask u posted after that. A lot of shifting/loa bloggers have that really weird coddling+mean thing going on, kinda condescending and makes the bloggies feel ashamed or a bother to ask for help. There's also a lot of entitlement between those who have and have not and then mixed in with the frustration from people who are not believing in results and all that stuff, you know how it is. You aint got none of that bs here. You're very patient and I'd like to think more than blunt, it's a better word to say simple. You don't try to fluff it up or 'ive answered this a hundred times already, yall need to stop overcomplicating lol'. It has a lot to do with the way someone speaks yanno? Even in a few asks ago, you were very empathetic and gentle in saying that you know it's frustrating to hear but persist in there not being a problem and then even suggested that blanket affirmation. That kind of understanding nature is so rare to come by and its the reason why for the last few months u have become the sole shifting blog i follow and while yes i am the one who 'did' everything, it was under your guidance that i have let go of so much anxiety and disbelief. You promote the barebone necessities on this blog and that's literally all u need to shift. No limiting beliefs or backwards bragging. Your shifting post can literally be summed up by 'intention is all you really need' but you made a whoooole post about the ins and outs plus fine print. Like any question someone could possibly have, any loophole or limiting belief that could arise, you think of it beforehand and address it before it can be asked. I see that dedication and I applaud you for that like you really out here feeding a bunch of shifters for FREE 🤧 Anyways my life is so much better after finding this blog and learning how to do things the proper way. Thanks for all the effort and not enforcing any miniscule limiting beliefs. I think most people would agree that ur very friendly, kind and generally a good person, not mean at all. I've never once felt frustrated, discouraged or uncomfortable here. You're like the cool senior who looks sharp but is actually really sweet and tells all the freshman which courses to take and how to pass the class. Tldr; ur not blunt, ur just stating the facts as u should and we love u for it. This blog has brought me a lot of sollace (see what i did there) so i wanted to take the time to write this all out bc ur like my fave person evurrrrr. This is uhhhh also a bit of a doozy to post so u can absolutely delete this after u read it lmao anyway love u bestie 💓

I don't think I'll ever be able to truly express how much this means to me. This is literally the nicest ask I've ever gotten! And a little embarrassing to admit but this made me tear up a bit. Everything you said is exactly how I wanted this blog to be for people. I wanted it to be a safe space for all kinds of shifters - new and experienced. I wanted it to be an easy going space with no limiting beliefs and acceptance of all different kinds of beliefs.

I can't thank you enough for this 🥺 It makes me really happy to know that so many people feel safe and comfortable here. And I'm so glad I was able to help you too! Every now and then I wonder if I'm actually helping people so it was really nice to hear :')

This ask helped me a lot actually because I can see where you're coming from! I think I just get worried that some of my more "to the point" answers could come off as mean to people but I can see why they wouldn't as well. I don't really know what else to say this is just such a sweet message and I'll be thinking about it for a long time. Thank you so much for taking the time to quell my worries and bring in a new perspective 🥺 It really helped!!

[liarchive]

SGEIDKD SOBS YOJRE SO SWEET OMG ILY /p

Are u okay with nicknames like babe/love/my little meow meow etc and stuff I LIKE CALLING PEOPLE THOSE BUT IF YOU ARENT COMFY WITH THEM I WONT

And gosh brain rot over father figure Zhongli

Crying in the club rn dhmu

^fatherless behavior

HONESTLY I DONT RLLY HAVE A DAD SO IDK WHAT THEYRE LIKE that's why I'll just make hcs of stuff my mom does that Zhongli would do <3

•He would always make sure you've eaten and always cooks your food, he even remembers your favorites and constantly spoils you by getting you more (He still tries to make sure you have a healthy diet though!)

•Always tries to reassure you that's you're doing just fine and that if you're not feeling well then there isn't anything wrong with you and it's natural!

•He supports your dreams and aspirations wholeheartedly and even buys you a bunch of stuff related to it cause he sees how happy you are <3

•He randomly just tells you he loves you, it doesn't matter the context. Yall could walk beside eachother and he'd just randomly pat your head and tell you he loves you

•Whenever you go out he always has his wallet so that he can buy stuff you'd like^^

•If you have some kind of health complications that require a lot of money, he'd say "It doesn't matter if it's expensive, it's for you" if you try to argue about it being expensive, this could be related to the last hc too!

RAWR THATS BASICALLY IT

YES YES IM OKAY WITH NICKNAMES!!<33 AND DW BESTIE, I DONT KNOW HOW IT FEELS EITHER hence why I felt there's something wrong about the hcs BUT YES!! FATHER ZHONGLI BRAIN ROT OH MY GOD SOMEONE FINALLY GOT IT

FR THOUGH, ZHONGLI WOULD INDEED TELL YOU HE LOVES YOU OUT OF NOWHERE AND SPOILS YOU SM😭 AND SUPPORTIVE FATHER ZHONGLI???? HELLO??????? YES HE IS VERY SUPPORTIVE I TAKE NO CRITICISM *as long as whatever you like or doing is good*

BUT BUT CONSIDER THIS

FATHER ZHONGLI SECRETLY BOUGHT THINGS YOU WANTED?? WITHOUT ANY CONTEXT AND HE JUST PUTS THEM IN YOUR ROOM? IM CRYING PLEASE SHARE MORE FATHER ZHONGLI BRAIN ROT WITH ME or any genshin characters brain rot tbh I don't mind anyone

AND A BIT OF MODERN AU BUT HE CHECKS YOU UP OFTEN? BECAUSE HE'S WORRIED THE ONLINE SCHOOL IS STRESSING YOU UP TOO MUCH?? AND THEN JUST COMFORTING YOU FOR THE WHOLE NIGHT I can see him secretly does some of your assignments FATHER ZHONGLI WILL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE YOU HAPPY TBH😭✋

[soonsluv]

rainie, babyyy, hello!!!

hope you've been well since we last time spoke 💖 any plans for the weekend??

I'll spend Saturday doing some really needed cleaning around the house </3 and then on sunday i have plans to have a board games and pizza night with my friends

And about that jun fic!! I couldn't find it 😭😭 I read it a long time ago in the tags and dumbass me lost it :(( BUT if you're in the mood for a jun fic to try it out (lmao the wording of this seems funny to me fkdndk like offering an appetizer idk) i recently read this one. Not only it's beautifully written, it also captures the tall goofy boy essence perfeclty! No pressure tho, it's ok if you don't feel like reading it 💞

As always, love you and hope things have been well 🎀🌷

(Also.. 👀 did you really narrow it down to one crush or are the other 2 still in the run? Hehe - sorry on advance if I'm overstepping with this question!!)

- 😺 anon

hi sweet gato!

i’ve been well, thank you for checking<3 i have to work tomorrow and sunday will just be me laying in my bed all day trying to recover from my shift(my job isn’t that bad, im just a big baby)

OMDSSSS!!! game nights are so much fun, you’re gonna have a blast w your friends, enjoy it dear!!

thank you for the recommendation, i’ll try to read it this weekend, maybe it’ll spark something in me like that other fic did for you��

it’s so sweet of you to pay attention to my silly ramblings about my crushes and no you’re not overstepping🥹 no. 1 is on vacation so i’m not gonna see him for a while, no. 2 lives a far away so i don’t think it was going anywhere anyway BUT no. 3??? i’m gonna be seeing him a bunch of times so he’s at the top of the list rn🤭

i love you too, take good care of yourself for me❤️

[jayflrt]

i actually have nothing planned for the weekend but one sunday i have to write the fucking college admission exam and i didn't study shit.

i have to completely study 15 math chapters, 4 physics chapters and 5 chemistry chapters and no bio because i'm taking engineering and i'm literally scared whether i'll pass the exam or not!! 😭

i just wished i concentrated on studies and i regret that now and my grades dropped down so much too <//3

i actually love the idea of how hatred is turned into love through enemies and lovers and i totally agree with you!! i am wishing for my grade 10th to complete fast so that i can get my life back together and just start over my life with new college 🥲

and the thing with my friendship— i think i don't have friends because i rlly don't know how to talk, lmao. i mean even talking with my friend who ik for 7yrs, made me feel better. she made feel good and she was the only engene friend and bestie i have at school, jsjsjsjs.

i have a friend who i know for 10 years, this 2022 will make it 10 yrs for us. she left my when she was 5th grade and she was my best friend till 5th grade, i actually met her when i first joined the school and i sat beside her on the first day and i still remember how i showed off my calligraphy skills and everyone was impressed!!

and then after 5th to 6th, i had another friend and even she left me and joined with other people and didn't even care to wish me a birthday this year when i came to school 🥲✊🏻 and same happened when i was 8th, 9th and now 10th i have no friends actually </3

for this year college, i'm actually hoping to make some guy friends (because i never had one 😌) and other friends too. i hope this year will be as good as i dreamt of, peaceful and lucky.

i hope you will have a good weekend too, akka. i will definitely visit chennai and travel more places, so don't you worry </3

guessing that i might go on a hiatus this month because i have a lot to prepare and i need to study too and i need a lot of time to study and i'm thinking of not seeing or watching any content which makes me distracted, i.e kpop, tumblr, snapchat, etc and etc. you just wish me a good luck for my college admission exam this week, i'll definitely get good marks for you!!!

thank you and good night akka <3

—🦔

omg good luck with your admission essay !!! you got this ♡ TRY TO GET THAT STUDYING IN 😭😭 you have until sunday right?? :o engineering is p difficult but you can do it !! and dw it’s normal to have regrets from school but what you can do now is push yourself and do the best you can :’)) it will all work out in the end 🥰💕

i think i like enemies to lovers in a bickering friends/rivals sort of way !! :o if it was an actual enemy who had forsaken me in the past idk if i could find it in me to fall in love 😵‍💫 logistically !!! but fanfic wise it’s cute HAHAH but omg best of luck !! 💞 when does 10th end for you ??

but you have your two friends that you’ve had for 7 and 10 years !!! that’s such a long time it’s so nice you were able to maintain that 🤧💓 and they say that a few rlly close friends can be nicer than a bunch of friends you’re not super close to ♡ also omg she didn’t wish you ? :((( it sucks how ppl distance themselves i’m so sorry love <//3

ah yes i hope you make a lot of friends in college !!!! :’)) i’m sure you’ll be doing great out there 🥰🥰 pls idk why i’m so negligent of my guy friends but i prefer our friend group having girls nights rather than kickbacks with everyone 😭🤧 sorry boys </3

also take all the time you need anon !!! i’ll be waiting here for you when you’re back and your admission exam is over 💖 i wish you all the best and hope for the best results :)) and i hope you have a great day/night as well !!! thank you love 🥰🌸