#it's always the comedy shows that hit me hardest

[toonstarterz]

"Maybe next time...I would say."

The end of The Ghost and Molly McGee broke me in ways I didn't think it could. As someone who turns 30 this year, this might be my personal favorite song of the series.

(ps I had to put my pen down while doodling this b/c I felt the tears coming)

[demonslayedher]

Things that ran through my mind while watching this episode: --Ufotable says "jump" and FujiTV says "how high?" Likewise, they say "we want more run time" and FujiTV says "take it, it's yours." It seems odd that an episode in which the battle is already over would require extra run time, but I think a lot of the magic in of the KnY anime adaptation (particularly since Mugen Ressha) is that Ufotable lets the emotional scenes really open up and take the space they need to, uh... breathe.

--That means giving the voice actors lots of space on the emotional scenes to build up realistic crying and give pauses. Daki's crying always hits me hardest, but Gyutaro's narration and the way he talks to the samurai he kills, also excellent. And then you have Inosuke at the very end of the episode being Not Okay. --Suma, you are a treasure

--Backing up a bit, I love how Ufotable also reads being the panels. Like that "you saved me, Nezuko?" sure as help can mean "you eliminated the last of an Upper Moon's attack with her fire?" why not. And it is such Kimetsu Logic to not tell us Nezuko can eliminate demon poison until after she's saved the night, but it also makes perfect sense.

--After all the sting of losing Rengoku, losing Uzui was dangled in front of us, and the fact that we get to keep him makes this victory over an Upper Moon all the more victorious and sweet. Oyakata-sama's moment of feel on emotion at the end of the episode, a very different state than we've ever seen him, really shows how momentous this is too.

--But also, if he had died there, it truly would have been one of the most horrific deaths of the series, because he'd have done so with the very flamboyant knowledge of having missed his chance to say any last words because his wives were being so themselves. And he is just there just feeling numbness take over his tongue, knowing he lost his chance. I love that look on his face as it hits him that this is really how he's stuck going, and the rocks hitting is still peak comedy.

--I mentioned in the last episode just how fast this whole battle was, and I think this provides very interesting insight about Iguro in a couple ways. First, there is the possibility that a crow went seeking Iguro's help the moment it say a Corp member fighting an Upper Moon (Tanjiro fighting Daki, who could still be mistaken for an Upper Moon at the time), but the crow still needed time to get to wherever Iguro was. Iguro probably started running as soon as he heard, but the battle really was over too fast for him to help. The other possibility is that as soon as Uzui told Tanjiro and Inosuke to leave, he reached out to Iguro for help, which would imply both A) humility and B) perhaps aside from proximity, he chose Iguro as the best choice of a Pillar to help him with this mission, whether based on the merits of Snake Breath or his trust in Iguro. Either way, Iguro already knew Tanjiro was involved--perhaps Uzui mentioned it (in which case, Iguro would had thought Tanjiro left as ordered), or the crow specifically told him, "Kamado Tanjiro is going head to head against an Upper Moon," in which case he of course assumed Tanjiro was already dead.

--This is actually a great moment of characterization for Iguro, who sees no personal value in living except to fight demons, as he does not seem himself deserving of love. That gives him no way to understand how Uzui would dare to prioritize a loving married life.

--Of course, the course of this episode is the Shabana sibling back story, and I think it's one of the demon backstories with layers of irony most seamlessly worked into the events of the plot. Besides the Kamado sibling foil, you've got Gyutaro calling Tanjiro names, Daki telling Zenitsu that only the beautiful have power, Daki getting set on fire by Nezuko, Daki offering to pluck out and eat Tanjiro's left eye and having Gyutaro's left eye on her forehead, snow on the night they became demons and snow on the night of the promise they are strongest together, memories of snow while facing the fires of hell, choosing the darkness over the light, Gyutaro starting with a horrid existence by finding Ume's birth changed all that and his outlook totally improved, and just when he thinks things are going to really get better they get horrifically worse, and he changes his tune to saying that never had anything good in the first place and no matter how many times he's reborn he'll always rue those who had things good for them. Ume was the good change in his fortune. That makes it hurt all the more when he yells at her that his life would had been easier without her, and that this rejection continues into the afterlife when he tries to cut ties for her own sake.

[the5n00k]

M*A*S*H and the power of pure unadulterated sorrow

(this series is marketed primarily as a comedy! :D what a scam! /hj)

⚠️long post⚠️

I want to point out one of my favorite aspects of this series which is how different it presents its drama compared to other shows marketed as dramas that I've seen. ESPECIALLY modern film

The last movie I can remember portraying this sheer level of raw grief and despair was Hereditary. Such a powerful film about how grief can tear a family apart, it's honestly uncomfortable to sit through because of how well written and acted some of the scenes with the family are. And that's the point; tragedy isn't pretty. So many times you will see characters die on screen and the actors around them reacting to it with a single tear or burying their face into their stone cold main protagonist's shoulder. I have been craving that Hereditary level of despair from something for a long time now. That raw emotional breakdown that completely shatters the mask of a usually well put together facade.

Then my friends recommended M*A*S*H to me.

Yes you can make all the "crying breakfast friends" jokes you want about how often I latch onto a heart wrenching emotional moment in a show but I can't help it when it's so well executed. I can see a million silly Disney sidekicks die and feel nothing but this show has made me cry even on rewatch. And that is RARE for me, usually it's a one and done thing but this show still manages to tear me to pieces.

Not saying the show doesn't have any fun in it, of course it does, that's how the emotional moments hit harder. If you never saw the characters at their highest highs, seeing them at their lowest would just become numbing and unengaging.

Spoilers ahead obviously, I'm going to be talking about a lot of really important character moments throughout the show please if you are at all interested watch the show and come back. It's 11 seasons but it's well worth your time

Something that has always been powerful to me has been grown men crying. Perhaps it's because I never really had a good emotional connection with any men in my life and always saw them as stronger (emotionally) than someone who is erratically emotional like myself. Especially during the timeframe this is set (the 50's) and shot in (70's-80's) I was not anticipating the level of raw acting talent from the guys in this show. Especially once you get past season 4 and shit really starts hitting the fan

To see these grown men who take so much pride in their important positions as doctors and men and who they are just break down weeping like a scared child. It never ceased to break something in me. I cried the hardest at the amnesiac soldier who lost his brother (FANTASTIC scene it should have won 60 awards) but the two characters that have always stood out to me with this particular subject have been Hawkeye and BJ

Clearly if you've watched the entire show you understand what I'm talking about and obviously the other cast members have their moments (Winchester my beloved one day I will put you under a microscope and pick you apart) but for this subject, I'm going to use the two of them as examples because I consider these moments the most prominent to me personally

I'll start with BJ because there's a lot to unpack with him and simultaneously not a lot at the same time. Because he's so closed off and disconnected from most things happening all the time, choosing to opt out of anything whenever he can unless provoked, characters don't really know that much about him. As an audience, you're forced to pick apart his little mannerisms and priorities to see where his head's at. Some people might not like that but frankly I love it. He's a simple character on the surface but underneath, he's a terrified father and husband trying to keep his head down long enough to snap out of the nightmare that is war and wake up at home. I relate to him in that way, just trying to stay in my own corner and occupy myself until I have to wake up and do it all over again. Coping with the monotony is slowly driving him crazy

Then in Period of Adjustment, he gets a letter from his wife about how she and their daughter Erin saw Radar at the airport when he got sent home. And his thin thread of stability finally snaps. He's pissy for the entire day and doesn't want to tell anyone why, he'd rather just go through the motions and repress it just like everything else. But it keeps outwardly affecting everything around him whether he likes it or not. Then, at his lowest, he physically assaults his best friend in their own tent and destroys their only lifeline, the still they use to (poorly) make gin, and runs out.

After getting so intoxicated he can't stand up, Hawkeye finally finds him again and laughs that he's wearing a helmet to see him, still trying to make light of how much he's suffering. He tells him he's sorry for punching him and Hawkeye sits down with him. He finally is completely and truly honest for probably the only time in the entire series. He is completely vulnerable and open and tells him what's been bothering him. His infant daughter mistakenly called Radar her dad. The first person she ever called dad wasn't him. And he breaks down. He barely got to see her when she was born before he got drafted, he missed so many milestones of parenthood with her already and she ends up calling someone else dad. BJ tells Hawkeye he is furious at Radar and knows it's not his fault but he's still jealous. He even mentions how he's envious of Trapper, Hawkeye's old bunkmate from before he got there, which is still a huge sore point for him because of how abrupt his departure was. But he doesn't reprimand him for speaking badly about two people he'd considered close friends. He holds him closer and lets him cry. This isn't a single tear cry, this is a full vulnerability twisted face cry of pure pain. He can't say anything to ease the pain either, nothing he could say right now could help his friend. He just has to let him work through it.

They rebuilt the still together but BJ still remains broken. This is sort of touched on in Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen when he tries to get sent home before Erin's second birthday and misses it. It's not held on but you can obviously tell that he's still barely holding onto mental stability whenever he brings up his family. If you go into this series thinking every conflict has a resolution or closure of some kind I have bad news for you lol it's safe to assume when he went home, there was a rough adjustment period reclaiming his place in the house since Peg took on so much responsibility by herself but we don't really know what happened after everyone went home.

My next example is from Bless You, Hawkeye and I always rag on this episode with my friends but the scene between him and Sidney physically shook me. Everybody probably talks about That One Scene with Hawkeye and Sidney from GFA so I'll refrain from using it as an example here, I think this one is more appropriate for the point I'm trying to make anyways.

Hawkeye has never been mature. At all. His entire character is built on being obnoxious and causing trouble. Unlike BJ, he will share nearly anything about him when asked. Except when it's serious.

In comes everyone's favorite coping mechanism, ✨ unconscious repression! ✨

Again, a part of his character that got used again in GFA, whenever something upsets him in a way he can't manage, he buries it. He rewrites the memory into something happy or positive. So when a wounded soldier soaked in dirty water smelling of mold and musty clothing triggered a psychosomatic response, nobody knew why.

Processing scenes like this is something I remember so vividly from my first watch. Seeing all the pieces fall into place until that sinking feeling fills you is something this show is so good at.

Hawkeye starts talking to Sidney about something from his childhood; being out on a lake with his cousin Billy when he was seven. He claims Billy saved his life by pulling him out of the water but the more he talks, the more his story changes. It gets to a point where even he realizes he wasn't saved. He was pushed. Billy had to have been around 13 at the time, old enough to know how mean pulling something like that is. The way he admits it is when the gravity really sank in for me. His voice breaks, he starts loudly and violently sobbing like a scared child, he's probably been holding in this breakdown for 20ish years. In any other show, I could see them trying to play this for laughs. Oh Hawkeye, you shouldn't be so upset by a silly prank from when you were a kid! Look at this grown man break down! What a baby! But they don't treat it like that. It's treated completely seriously, it's allowed to play out and he slowly works through grief for someone he idolized in his childhood, anger, and acknowledgement. It was a permanent scar that wasn't allowed to heal.

This wasn't the first time in the series Hawkeye has cried but it was the first time he truly let it out. Every other time he knew he'd have to pick himself up, dust himself off, and keep going. I'm not certain if he properly processed anything he went through in Korea because he kept (pardon my language here) drowning himself in alcohol and burying himself in work and antics. So his eventual breakdown just. Getting it all out in one gutteral, primal cry, borderline screaming was cathartic for both him as a character and myself personally. Very rarely do I ever get a moment to have an emotional release like this so I also bury myself further into my job and hobbies until I can't feel what's bothering me anymore. His man's father better have booked him therapy when he got home because I know for damn sure this jackass won't do it himself

Overall, I'll say it again, the actors in this show are insane. None of the emotions felt cheap and the way the characters are written feels accurate to how most people approached the horrors of war and the mental health crises that followed. I'm so happy this show exists. I'm a little disappointed in myself that it's taken me this long to give it a chance but I love it nonetheless. I'll make a post about the characters specifically sometime like I said I would, I just want to make sure I do everyone justice and I'm not just repeating what everyone already knows. I want to add to this wonderful community that I'm happy to see is still active on this app/site and I hope you all enjoy my ramblings lmao there is more where this came from

[gingerjunhan]

movie nights with xdinary heroes

☆彡 the fabled movie night fic is here!! I hope you all enjoy! :D

word count: 968 | pronouns used: none | genre: fluff, established relationship | cws: all caps w/ Ode (sorry I got excited), lmk if I missed any!

goo gunil

you’re watching: horror

this is 100% a ploy to make you scared so he can swoop in to help

something tells me that Gunil would also be super scared

he tries his best to be brave for you but it doesn’t work

but it’s okay because you love him so you find it endearing

his ego would shoot through the roof if you turned to him for comfort

let's say a really scary part happened and you turned to him to hide your face in his chest

or you scooted closer to him on the couch, clutching his hand

he would feel so strong 💪🏻

he just wants to protect you from everything!

even if it is a horror movie demon!

after the movie ends, Gunil is secretly very happy that you two share a bed

because whether he showed his fear out-worldly or not it was definitely still there

he holds you so tight as you both try to fall asleep

“It wasn’t that scary,” you’d argue

“I’m just making sure you’re safe,” he’d argue back

kim jungsu

you’re watching: rom-com

Jungsu gives me BIG rom-com energy!!!!

I feel like Jungsu just loves seeing other people in love :’) ugh he's the sweetest

if you choose a cheesy “chick flick” he literally will not complain

he wants you both to have fun together

as long as he’s with you he doesn’t care what you guys do

if the lead roles in the movie kiss I feel like he would jokingly cover your eyes

if he was feeling bold he would use this movie as an opportunity

the lead roles are kissing in the rain and he hits you with the, “we should try that sometime”

he would absolutely find the movie funnier than you would

if he finds out the movie is a part of a series????

get ready to binge

nothing beats watching people fall in love with the one that he loves!

kwak jiseok

you’re watching: comedy

this is his lighthearted fun time with you where he doesn’t have to think about work or stress so he’s here to have FUN

nothing will be taken seriously between the two of you for the entire length of the film

you’re laughing at the jokes in the movie

making your own jokes about the movie and laughing even harder at each other

I can 100% picture Gaon tossing a piece of popcorn into the air and trying to catch it in his mouth and missing

I also feel like Gaon would purposely like to watch bad movies

“This movie is terrible!”

“I know! It has a 32% on Rotten Tomatoes!”

in his head, the worse the movie = the funnier it is

imagine the two of you watch a movie that’s absolutely TERRIBLE

yet because of the two of you laughing and joking about it so much you just end up loving it

Gaon can absolutely make any situation funny and movie nights with him prove that

oh seungmin

you’re watching: romance

YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT NUMBER ONE VILLAIN LOVER OH SEUNGMIN DOESN’T FREQUENT ROMANCE MOVIES

sorry I got carried away for a second

but picture it!

with all the dramas he watches and his general flirtatious nature, Ode is always down to watch a romance

he takes note of the cliches and pockets them for later

his eyes frequently wander to you during the length of the movie

seeing which parts make you blush the hardest

it’s information he uses against you at a later date

imagine him kissing you every time the lead roles kiss WNDKWJSK

can you tell he’s been bias wrecking me lately??

Ode also strikes me as the type to love love

seeing people fall in love never fails to give him butterflies

especially after getting to experience it himself with you

han hyeongjun

you’re watching: something animated

Jun Han strikes me as an animated movie lover for obvious reasons

you could recommend Disney, Ghibli, Pixar, anything!

he would be down to watch it

animated movies are typically light hearted, but let's break some things down:

if there’s a duet, you better make him sing it!!

bonus points if it’s a princess movie and he sings the princess part

if the movie gets unexpectedly sad?

it’s over for both of you

you would turn to Jun Han with tears in your eyes

and he would have tears in his eyes

and you would both either laugh at each other for crying or you would just sit there and cry together

once you finish the movie, I can imagine you and Jun Han talking about the animation itself

(is this me projecting as an art kid? maybe yes)

I just feel like Jun Han would have a high appreciation for good art/ animation!

you can never go wrong with an animated movie, so be prepared to frequent them with Jun Han

lee jooyeon

you’re watching: comedy

I feel like Jooyeon would NOT be able to handle a sad movie AT ALL

so the happier the movie the better 👍🏻

you would take turns picking the movie

he would always jokingly complain about the movie you pick but then he would end up loving it

Jooyeon would have you wrapped in his arms the whole time

pulled tightly to his chest

so you can feel his laughter right up against your back :’)

you two would be laughing so hard together that everything else around you would seem like it wouldn’t exist for a little while

it’s just the two of you in your own little bubble

unlike Gaon, Jooyeon doesn’t watch bad movies for fun

if a movie has a dumb ending I can totally picture him booing at the TV screen 💀

which just makes you both laugh in the end

Jooyeon loves shared laughter, so he’s glad he can experience it with you!

[juniperhillpatient]

The Runaway Re-Watch

I have not watched this episode in forever, & I think I appreciated it more during this re-watch than I have in the past. Despite having some really amazing parts, this episode overall involves a lot of bickering & not the funny banter kind, the kind that feels a little too real - which is good writing, but it's not always the most fun to watch, for me at least. I think I just relate a lot to Katara, & that makes some of the arguments hit too close to home. As an eldest daughter, & someone who has been accused (totally falsely of course!) of being a bit high-strung (& as someone who has definitely gotten into bad arguments with friends over them doing reckless shit) I just really, really felt for Katara in this episode lol

I think the reason I like this episode more now is that I've put a lot more thought into all the characters, particularly Toph. The conflict between Katara & Toph in this episode is actually pretty interesting & makes a lot of sense when you think about their very different histories. Katara came from a village where she had to help out, there was no option, she was just expected to step up & not only help out with chores but be responsible. Remember when Aang shows up? Katara says (of penguin sledding) "I haven't done this since I was a kid!" & Aang has to remind her that she still is a kid. Toph meanwhile came from a sheltered household where she was completely restrained & never allowed to do anything - & where she had servants looking after her. So, of course, there are ongoing conflicts between them about how to behave.

I think I took issue with Katara & Toph's bickering not existing as part of a larger arc the first time that I watched this show because I kept expecting it to go somewhere & for them to overcome their differences. They are a lot closer by the end of this episode than they were at the start, & they understand each other more, but you don't get the sense that they'll always get along from now on. Having thought about it more...I don't have a problem with this. It makes sense. Even aside from their different histories, the girls have clashing personalities. They're going to fight. They still care about each other deeply, like family.

There are 3 parts of this episode that I really enjoyed a lot.

1. Katara & Toph bonding emotionally & then breaking out of prison thanks to Katara’s epic sweat bending (+1000 iconic behavior points for Katara)

[id: Katara & Toph, sitting in a wooden prison. end id]

2. Sokka & Aang’s comedy in this episode was pretty nice. I especially enjoyed the two of them forgetting Toph can’t read or write while planning to push the girls to get along.

3. The water siblings!!!!

My favorite part of this episode is what it tells us about the water siblings. I loved the scene between Sokka & Toph that Katara overheard.

Sokka: When our mom died, that was the hardest time in my life. Our family was a mess, but Katara? She had so much strength. She stepped up and took on so much responsibility. She helped fill the void that was left by our mom.

Katara took on so much at so young an age - this episode makes it really hard to remember that Katara is younger than Sokka - & I think it’s both sad & amazing to think about that.

Then we have this exchange -

Sokka: I'm gonna tell you something crazy. I never told anyone this before, but honestly? I'm not sure I can remember what my mother looked like. It really seems like my whole life, Katara's been the one looking out for me. She's always been the one that's there. And now, when I try to remember my mom, Katara's is the only face I can picture. [Katara, touched by what Sokka says, is reduced to tears.]

Toph: The truth is sometimes Katara does act motherly, but that's not always a bad thing. She's compassionate and kind, and she actually cares about me. [Wipes away tears from her left eye.] You know, the real me. That's more than my own mom. [Katara, deeply touched by Toph's words, sinks slightly into the water. Toph punches Sokka in the arm.] Don't ever tell her I said any of this!

We’re out of the 3 big draws of this episode for me now, but I also did enjoy the montage of the scams Toph, Sokka, & Aang pulled. I was definitely happy to see the return of Wang Fire.

This was certainly an interesting episode, & I enjoyed re-watching & thinking about it. Thanks for reading my rambling thoughts & (late) Merry Christmas if you celebrate!

[charmixpower]

Based on what this says https://at.tumblr.com/magicallyblonde/okay-so-i-accidentally-stumbled-upon-a-site-with/49yl43i1d0n8 what some viewers have said about a few skirt fanservice moments and how winx gets a little dark and violent what do you think is the best age range. What would you think of more mature stuff but not like too dark or like fate

That's hilarious

"their moaning so sexually" they are groaning in pain, they are in a fight, there is nothing sexual about this. Have you ever watched a fight scene before???

"stripper fairies" they are just wearing crop tops, and the ones wearing skirts visibility are wearing shorts underneath them. Like you can see the shorts, there right there, what the fuck are you talking about

The only time Winx has ever made me unintentionally uncomfortable is when Bloom was strapped down in Darkar's palace. That one was weird, there was nothing going on and I don't think a child would pick up on it but it was really weird. Didn't like that

This is hilarious I've been watching this show my whole life. I saw the 4kids dub when I was a very small child, and watched it often enough with my mom that she can recognize the opening. Saw the Nick dub when I got a little older and watched that till the end of s5. Then periodically went back to watch the Rai dub as I got even older

I like it when Winx tries it hardest to tackle hard subjects. Season 2 was clearly trying it's best to warn about creepy teachers and teach children not to trust them, and while it's execution isn't always the best I have to applaud them for trying

Riven and Sky dying in s2 didn't feel dark. Sure the s2 finale is objectively dark, like the s1 finale is, but it has a happy ending. The good guys win and everyone is revived. Musa scoots away embarrassed of her actions, Bloom and Sky have a little moment after he's healed. The tension is released, the light tone is restored, and comedy is used to make everyone feel better after something so actually

The only season finale that felt too dark is the s4 one. "Death is now a real threat" the silly fairy show says after 3 fucking seasons of reviving people immediately after they die. Not to mention s4 is far more childish than any of the previous seasons, with is even more nonsensical love triangles, it's lack of motivations for the main villains, and band subplot. So that finale doesn't fit with the season tone. S1 darkened the tone when Bloom and her parents got tortured and Riven got uh mentally tortured, and then slowly lightened and darkened it to keep it consistent before Bloom returned and the show got light again. S4 hits you with a brick to the face and calls itself clever, even though there was nothing half as dark before this, making it feel a lot more gruesome than it actually is because it hits you with tonal whiplash

That's the only season I'd check a child's maturity level to watch, that shit left me a mess as a kid. THANKS RAINBOW

I liked how brutal the s1 fights got. It really made you think "wow, the Trix are really a threat and are going to hurt Bloom really badly when the get the chance." And guess what! They do! Effective foreshadowing. S2 darker plot line was contrasted by a lot of more personal stories of the Winx's backstories and getting to know Aisha. S3 had our main characters sacrificing their life's and it still didn't really feel dark as a child, because you still have comedy and levity breaking up the monotony. More stuff like this in later seasons, like imagine s4 showing the Wizard of the Black Circle actually injuring Roxy would need to be balanced with a happy ending and maybe not murdering Nabu because this is a kids show after all. The curse of Sirenix actually doing something fucked, and then we cut to silly bunny antics where Kiko tries to get a girlfriend.

Like it's not hard for the show to balance it's darker elements with comedy to make it feel lighter, but sometime after s3 it fucking lost that ability completely for some reason so the show either feels way too dark or like it's made for preschoolers. This stuff is FUN!! I had a fucking blast as a child wondering what was gonna happen to the Winx in s3 because I knew they'd struggle but get out fine, and the song fucked

Like Winx even got into character's psychology, with literally only Riven and Aisha but I digress, and made it feel hopeful. Here's two people who have gone though a lot, one has fucked up majorly, and the other doesn't know if she can or wants to trust the people around her, both due to past trauma, and they come out the other side better people!!! That shit was wild as a kid!!! Aisha struggling with anxiety was so touching. Neither her or Riven's story lines really felt dark. Aisha made me hopeful as a child with anxiety, and I hated Riven for annoying me reasons until I went back and rewatched when I was older and realized I was too harsh on him because everyone but the Rai dub apparently cut out his moment of realization??? That's fucked, that's the thing that gets you to like Riven dumbasses. So now when I watch it, that storyline is hopeful too!! I know people who are like Riven, I'm friends with them, and seeing a character like them who's struggling but learning to be better and better each day is so hopeful

And after that??? It's literally co produced by Nick. Their not going to do anything that could even hint at scaring the children, not to mention that the outfits become larger and more covering as the show goes on so ig parents got their wish because their boring and don't like crop tops

Actually the later seasons feel less hopeful to me. They inspire less joy. You don't get to see characters overcome their flaws and learn to be better because character arcs have been scrubbed away and the writers seem to think that Stella is stupid for some reason

Especially Riven's writing. What sends a better message to kids "hey if you mess up, go down a wrong path, and realized you've made a mistake. You can always apologize, the people you hurt don't have to accept you, but giving up isn't right. Trying your hardest to be better every day is worth it and you'll see that with the new friends you gain" or "Don't even bother trying to be a better person because you'll just slip back into bad habits over and over again, and never truly change." Like am I the only one who finds the fact that they keep resetting Riven's character arc extremely depressing and upsetting??? I'm genuinely lucky I decided I hated him as a kid because if I ever internalized any of that shit I would be so fucking mad rn

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the darker parts of the early seasons made the lighter parts brighter, and taking them away just makes the show gray and dull. This is why I dropped the show in s5 as a kid, it felt monotone. The darkness adds a place for hope, a place for real growth, and good lessons. You can't have true brightness hope and light without the dark to contrast it with, so the mature aspects of the earlier seasons were integral to my enjoyment of them as a child

If a character never truly fucks up, never is truly in danger, never has to confront anything difficult, them you can't really have a show that meaningfully saying anything. Just saying something with no follow through and seeing a character have to sit down and put in the work to learn it and watching them become better are two very different things

[cawthorntales]

“Hey little guys.” I said to the ducks as I took my usual seat by the pond. I come to this spot a lot whenever I need to think or just be alone. 

“Mind if I vent to you guys?” I asked the ducks. Knowing they couldn’t answer me back or object. 

“It’s funny the turns your life can take. Once I had a mom, a dad and a brother who loved me. Well I thought they loved me anyway. 

As still remember the look of horror and disgust on their faces when I made the mistake of telling them I had dropped out of college to pursue my dream of being an entertainer. I was a naïve nineteen year old and believed that a families love was unconditional. Dad told me I was throwing away my future that he and my mom had carefully crafted for me. Malcom said I was an absolute moron. He always was our parents perfect little protégé. 

Mom said I was a disgrace to the Landgraab family name and that I was no longer a part of the family and I would no longer see a dime of my inheritance. Just like that the people I thought loved me discarded me as easily as you would a piece of trash. All because I didn’t want to be a surgeon and instead had my on dream. It’s been nine years since I’ve seen or spoken to them. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still think about them.

The holiday’s are always the hardest. Christmas was always a wonderful time at our home. I’ll often find myself wondering if they ever think of me. But then I remind myself that they probably don’t.  They don’t even know what happened to me last year. They couldn’t find me even if they wanted to. I changed my last name to Zest not long after they disowned me. I figured a fresh start was needed and after how they treated me I didn’t want to put the Landgraab name out there anymore than it already was when I hit it big.

I wish I could say I proved them wrong and that my dream was worth all I had sacrificed. But so far I still haven’t made the big time. I booked a few comedy gigs here and there and had small blink and you will miss me guest roles on made for TV movies and shows, but nothing career breaking yet. I suppose I can be thankful that I am still doing what I love and what I wanted instead of following someone else's path for me.

On the positive side my bachelor challenge is starting soon. It’ll be my first major TV performance. Although the spotlight isn’t why I am doing it. Funny I know since I have ever only wanted to be a entertainer. But truthfully I am hoping it’ll fine me love. I’ve been alone for nine years and I am so tired of being alone.

I guess you could pick up on that since I am a grown man sitting by a pond talking to ducks. Well little friends I think I’ve vented enough to you today. Enjoy your evening.”

[roastthesadidiot]

I had been a fan of several Facebook pages and YouTube channels because of entertaining content. And if they are consistent in their materials, I followed them. And for the longest of times I would be completely ignorant on everything else surrounding them because I didn't care. They were still entertaining. That is until certain puzzle pieces, or not so subtle hints start to fall together.

Comedy has hit me with some of the hardest disappointments. You knew them from funny bits on certain topics you thought were funny at the time, until you start diving into the rest of their routines or read/hear interviews from them where they consistently say the cruelest of shit about people who don't deserve it. Not to mention if those "funny" people eventually don't have such a "funny" side to them in real life. When you read that an entertainer you like is caught or exposed for felonies of a really bad kind, you can't imagine how things could ever go this far from the person you've once come to appreciate. Everything you knew seems like a lie. The phrase "Never meet your heroes" seems all the more true with every fallen actor or entertainer.

Of all the media that unexpectedly ended up being owned by the most disappointing of people, it's ironically enough motivational posters/memers on Facebook. I'm not talking about pages that got highjacked and abused for personal gain/entertainment. These have either been your classic motivational posts/memes to (millennial?) absolutely chaotic motivational posts/memes. At first they would resonate and/or be funny enough to follow. And all seem fine...until the red flags start coming up. Vile language takes over about certain people, noticing people with small criticism getting instantly banned, extreme (negative) opinions taking over,... All of it things you'd eventually realise they're either full on hypocrites or fakers.

But for those genuine bad people out their, we can not forget that some of them are just people who just may not know better at the time. Even among all the bad examples I've given, there have been people who have come out for their shitty behaviour, apologized and cleaned up their act. Anyone who's able to do that can earn my respect for them back. Admitting your mistakes and actively showing in any way you want to improve is always the mature way to move on.

[concerthopperblog]

The 5th Annual PorchFest (2023)!

After attending the previous two years of Steve’s South Street PorchFest, I was excited when Steve contacted me with the details of the 5th Annual PorchFest a few months back. This intimate day festival is something that I look forward to now in the springtime and consider it a sort of ‘kick-off’ to the Spring season. Although previously the event was held in April, this year the festival took place on May 13th, the day before Mother’s Day. We also got lucky with some great weather – not too hot and no rain at all.

This year’s lineup includes Chill Affinity, Hunter Callahan, The Headliner Band ATL, Nikki & the Phantom Callers, Totally My Hat, Joel Kosche, 2 Broke Kings, Female Fiction, Sunglasses at Night, Melody Kiser, Sara McAteer, Daniel Toole, Elliot Phillips (solo), Cosomic Hippie, Ronnie Holloway, Andrew Spann, Anthony Paccholi, and stand-up comedy by Ron Lavender. Solo acoustic artists would perform on the right side of the porch while the left side of the porch would be the spot for the bands. To fit all these artists in just one day, solo artists would perform while the bands were setting up their gear. When the music started at noon, there was music (or comedy) continuously all day until 10 pm.

Kicking off the day was none other than one of Atlanta’s hardest-working singers-songwriter, Daniel Toole. Daniel Toole is one of my favorite performers every year at PorchFest and always has the crowd mesmerized with his smooth, harmonious acoustic set. It is always good to see Daniel perform or just in general. Showing support to a generally, good person who works hard at being the best musician is what it is all about.

Head over to Daniel Toole’s website and give him a listen. You can also keep track of where Daniel is playing by following this link to his official website’s tour dates!

Next up to play was Sara McAteer assisted by her husband playing the cajon. This would be Sara’s first time playing PorchFest and I bet you they both will be back. Sara’s warm and soulful performance was a brilliant addition to this year’s PorchFest lineup.

Solo artist Anthony Paccholi was a newcomer to the lineup at this year’s PorchFest and we are all so glad that Anthony came to perform for us! Despite having about 15 minutes to perform, Anthony squeezed in a very memorable performance that left everyone who showed up early glad that they did.

Sunglasses at Night (80’s pop synth cover band) was a real treat as they went through a familiar yet much-needed performance. You could see many people singing along and dancing away their cares to their set. Four out of the six songs on their setlist were personal favorites of mine from some of my most cherished 80s artists: Peter Gabriel, INXS, Tears for Fears, and Talking Heads.

Check out Sunglasses at Night’s setlist below:

·         “Sledgehammer” (Peter Gabriel cover)

·         “Don’t You Forget About Me.” (Simple Minds cover)

·         “Need You Tonight” (INXS cover)

·         “Overkill” (Men at Work cover)

·         “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” (Tears for Fears cover)

·         “Wild Wild Life” (Talking Heads cover)

With Chris Odom (lead guitar/singer - Chill Affinity) aiding, Ronnie Holloway was next on the solo artist stage performing as Animated Soul. I knew this was going to be a great set when they performed Aaliyah’s hit, “Are You That Somebody”. According to Chris, this was the first time they had performed in years, and had limited (if any) practice leading up to this soulful and unforgettable performance.

Check out Animated Soul’s setlist from PorchFest below:

·         “Are You That Somebody” (Aaliyah cover)

·         “Kill Bill” (SZA cover)

·         “It Must Have Been Love” (Roxette cover)

·         “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” (Tears for Fear cover)

·         “Flowers” (Miley Cyrus cover)

·         “Master Blaster” (Stevie Wonder cover)

·         “Didntcha Know” (Erykah Badu cover)

·         “La Isle Bonita” (Madonna cover)

·         “Kissed by a Rose” (Seal cover)

 Female Fiction, who played at last year’s PorchFest, is fronted by Elliot Portillo (vocals/rhythm guitar), Evan Castillo (lead guitar), Kyle Carvern (bass), and Logan Welch (drums). I dig Female Fiction’s energetic surf/garage rock sound. Whether listening to or watching Female Fiction live, their music is very addicting and will leave you wanting more. Head over to Female Fiction’s Official SoundCloud page today and check them out!

Check out Female Fiction’s setlist below:

·         “YSJLIG (you should just let it go)”

·         “Dirty Sheets” (The Orwells cover)

·         “You’re Not Really There”

·         “Coffin”

·         “Little Things”

·         “Creature”

·         “Perfect Stranger”

 2 Broke Kings, who are Ross Childress and Stephen Wines, performed at the 3rd Annual PorchFest (2021) and were excited to come back to play. Ross, who is a founding member of the award-winning band Collective Soul (1992-2001), and Stephen have been quite busy over the last few years constantly performing shows all over.

Melody Kiser has performed some very memorable performances since her debut at PorchFest. Just last year, Melody performed with her band, Hey Dreamer, to fans old and new. Just like Daniel Toole, I have seen Melody either solo or with Hey Dreamer since I started attending PorchFest. So, Melody is always someone I look forward to watching perform live. Whether playing acoustic or electric, Melody’s ability to shred the guitar is next level.  

You can check out Hey Dreamer’s music by following this link to their Official Spotify page today!

Ron Lavender (Charleston, S.C. native) is an old friend of Steve Quick (the organizer of this event) and was asked to come to take part in this year’s event. Acting as a Master of Ceremonies (M.C.) with Steve, Ron would come to perform some quick funny routines as some of the solo artists or bands were setting up. It will be an honor to continue to see Ron come out and help with PorchFest.

Joel Kosche Band featuring Joel Kosche (former Collective Soul lead guitarist/backing vocalist 2001-2014) was the next band to perform. The band also featured brothers James Brown (bass/backing vocals), Josh Brown (drums/backing vocals), and Joey Brown (guitar/backing vocals). And it was nice having a mixture of solo artists and bands but when Joel Kosche Band came on stage, I am pretty sure that this band was on a mission to rock the crowd like they were the final act of the day. Wow. From start to finish, the entire band showed some major intensity as they played their dynamic rock’n’roll set.

Here is the rocking setlist from the Joel Kosche Band’s performance at PorchFest:

·         “You Wouldn’t Last a Day”

·         “By the Sword”

·         “We’re Not the Same”

·         “Sunrise”

·         “Are You Happy Now?”

Head over to Joel Kosche’s Official Bandcamp page today and show some support!

Totally My Hat, which was the same band as the Joel Kosche Band but with a different lead singer, Gafar Bello.  Gafar might look familiar to you as you read on because he is the keyboard playing for Hunter Callahan. Plus, Tate Venerable took the mic for a Dredg cover in their set. Totally My Hat was formed just for this festival and when I heard them do a cover of Queens of the Stone Age “The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret”, I knew that they were on to something. I hope that they all keep jamming together and come back to play next year.

Check out Totally My Hat’s setlist from PorchFest below:

·         “Weeds” (Life of Agony cover)

·         “The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret” (Queens of the Stone Age cover)

·         “Perfume of Decay” (Tigercub cover)

·         “Catch Without Arms” featuring Tate Venable on vocals (Dredg cover)

·         “Superfreak/Pretender” Mash-up (Rick James/Foo Fighters cover)

 Elliot Phillips, who played drums with Flint River Fellowship, is another PorchFest native. But this year would be his first time performing as a solo artist. Elliot gave a very passionate and honest performance as he sang his heart out on that porch with some incredible original material. I truly hope Elliot continues this solo musical journey and appears at next year’s event.

The Headliner Band (Atlanta) always brings the party when they come to perform at Steve’s PorchFest! From the first time seeing The Headliner Band perform at the 3rd Porchfest, I was hooked on these musicians and started following them on their social media channels (Instagram/Facebook). So, what are you waiting for? Head over to The Headliner Band’s Official YouTube channel today and watch some live performances today!

Solo artist Cosomic Hippie was next on the lineup to perform on the solo stage. Following The Headliner Band could seem daunting to some, but that did not phase Cosomic Hippie one bit. Cosomic Hippie came with the confidence of a seasoned pro and performed a very, intimate set that moved the crowd. I know I thoroughly enjoyed the set and hope to see Cosomic Hippie perform sometime in the future.

Follow this link to Cosomic Hippie’s Official Bandcamp page today and show some support!

Nikki & the Phantom Callers (folk/Americana) is a new band for me this year at PorchFest, although I have seen their name circulating the Atlanta music scene. Their vibrant and spirited performance would be a marvelous first impression on this Concerthopper. So much, so that I picked up their latest LP, Everybody’s Going to Hell (But You and Me), and an older EP, What the Daughter Does, the Mother Did.

You can head over to Nikki & the Phantom Callers Official SoundCloud page and check them out for yourself! If you like what you hear, head over to Nikki & the Phantom Callers Official Bandcamp page and grab yourself a copy of both Everybody’s Going to Hell (But You and Me) and What the Daughter Does, the Mother Did.

Andrew Spann, another first timer performing at PorchFest, was next to perform on the solo artist stage. I thoroughly enjoyed his solo set and hope Andrew can come back in future years to PorchFest. One thing I found out in my research, Andrew (guitars/vocals) alongside Chris Kingsbury (bass) and Jonathan Balsamo (drums) are in a band called Low Before the Breeze. Check out Low Before the Breeze’s live performance recorded live at Mom Said It’s Fine in Underground Atlanta from May 2023.

Hunter Callahan is another beloved PorchFest veteran and well-known as a hard-working musician that travels around playing as much as possible. Hunter’s guitar expertise is also something to note. Since my first PorchFest, Hunter has masterfully performed the previous two years and with each performance, Hunter gets better and better. Coupled with an amazing back up band, Hunter Callahan has cemented his PorchFest legacy, and we all cannot wait to see what next year’s set sounds like.

Follow this link to listen firsthand to Hunter Callahan today!

Chill Affinity is another fan favorite and another veteran of PorchFest would close out this year’s event with the help of a talented horn ensemble. In the past, they have performed as a three-piece band. For this year’s PorchFest, Chris added the horns in honor of closing out the day. Saving the best for last, Chill Affinity pulled out some great songs such as Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song”, The Beatles “Eleanor Rigby”, and my personal favorite “Tank!” which is best known from the anime series Cowboy Bebop.

Check out Chill Affinity’s jam-packed setlist below:

·         “Eleanor Rigby” (The Beatles cover)

·         “Pina Colada” (Chuck Mangione cover)

·         “Sponge” (Brecker Brothers cover)

·         “Angel” (Jimi Hendrix arrangement by Chris Odom)

·         “Floating on Glass” (Stacey Hough cover)

·         “Ladies Night” (Kool & the Gang cover)

·         “Tank!” (An arrangement of Yoko Kanno’s theme from Cowboy Bebop)

·         “Immigrant Song” (Led Zeppelin cover)

You can also read my previous coverage of the 3rd Annual PorchFest (2021) and the 4th Annual Porchfest (2022) on Concerthopper.com.

Curious about Concerthopper? You can find more music related articles, interviews, various photo galleries, indie music reviews, our very own ‘Bars & Bites’ section, our exclusive “She Said, She Said” column, or become a Concerthopper at www.concerthopper.com. Sign up for our monthly newsletter by following this link: The Setlist! Please ‘Like’ our page on Facebook and follow us on Instagram to stay up to date in 2022, on all music-related events/festivals such as: Riverbend Festival, Relix Presents Yonder Mountain String Band, Railroad Earth, and Keller Williams and The Keels: Live at The Eastern, The Parallax II Tour: Between The Buried and Me Live @ The Masquerade, So Much For (Tour) Dust: Fall Out Boy/Bring Me the Horizon @ Darien Lake Amphitheater, AmericanaFest (2023), Souls of Mischief: 93’ til Infinity 30th Anniversary Tour @ City Winery (Atlanta), Yob and Pallbearer: Live at the Masquerade, Ghost RE-Imperatour U.S.A. with Amon Amarth: Ascend Amphitheater, The Dark Horizon Tour: In This Moment, Motionless in White, Fit For a King, & From Ashes to New – Live at Buffalo Riverworks, The BabyKlok Tour: BabyMetal & DethKlok @ Coco-Cola Roxy (Atlanta), Withered, Bathe, and Omenkiller: Live at Grantski Records, The Remade in Misery Tour: Memphis My Fire w/ Norma Jean, Secrets, and Saul @ The L (Horsehead, N.Y.), Celebrating 20 Years of Ocean Avenue: Yellowcard @ St. Joseph’s Health Amphitheater at Lakeview (N.Y.), The High & Holy Tour: Killer Mike @ The Tabernacle,  Beast in Black: Live @ Exit/In, It Still Moves Anniversary Show: My Morning Jacket @ Fox Theatre, Nth America Tour: Wolfmother @ The Eastern, and the 12th Annual Papa Joe’s Banjo-B-Que Music Festival, following us on all social media formats: Concerthopper on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.  Also, you can follow my concert hopping on Facebook and Instagram for even more photos not available on Concerthopper.com.

[amtopmthoughts]

I’ve been a hopeless romantic all of my life. My favorite movie genre is romantic comedies and tv-shows about people finding love have been my go-to since… forever. The songs that hit the hardest for me are those love ballads where the singer is so emotional that she can’t contain it all and when she belts that note… amazing.

I’ve never been too ambitious career wise, I never knew exactly wanted I wanted to do. I still don’t. All I’ve ever wanted, more than anything, is love. Someone to love, someone to love me. Unconditionally. Someone to come home to, someone to hold me. I’ve always wanted to believe that there is a soulmate, one person out there to everybody, to everybody who wants one, at least.

But maybe soulmates aren’t a thing, maybe there’s not one person for everyone. I’ve been thinking about those things people say like “love you more than anything”, “I’ll do anything for you”, “I can’t live without you”, “forever”. Basically, every promise people make that they can’t keep. These promises are generally made when people are happy and feel they can and will do anything they say they will. They’re on the top of the world. But people don’t know tomorrow, people don’t know what happens then, what happens after. People don’t know if they’ll be able to do all those things under different circumstances. Circumstances change everything. What if the person you love needs to move away and you just know if you moved too, that you’d be forever miserable or worse… resent the person you love and eventually have no other choice but to part ways. The truth is, I believe, as much as you love someone, being with them is not enough to be happy. You need more, you need other sources of happiness. You need to live a life you love. And the truth is you CAN live without that person. You might be miserable without them but you can live without them. It might not be a life worth living but life goes on, the world keeps on spinning. Everything keeps moving forward. 

So maybe there is nothing unconditional. Maybe everything has conditions to it. Maybe everything has its limits. I don’t know if that’s bad or good, maybe it just is. 

[anthonyburdain]

Stimulating sky space stage

Skipping some floors, this elevator system allows pedestrians to travel 76 meters directly to[1] the rooftop. From here you enter the club. As the elevator door opens, one leaves the underworld of the everyday city and enters another urban realm.[2] Not what we have but what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance.[3] The main event which kept me on the edge of my seat is a comedian, who performs on a hovering platform in the center of the room, and it appears, as if he falls into a situation of exact mimicry where language itself has decided not to decide. Hot or cold, tragedy, comedy? What will happen? [4]Sound is transmitted here in nonlinear fashion, travelling from hardest to softest; here, at each stage, it submits to loops, circuits or feedback. [5] Sipping on my martini I realized: The more we immerse ourselves in this space, the more we see and the less we hear. And the more we withdraw from it, the less we see and the better we listen. Better still: the better we see that it is a matter of hearing. Of a sound stage, or a noise trap. Of the immense, transmitter receiver, social box. In the center, the speaker or singer hears the silence of the audience which hears its own silence and the voice that comes out of it, a perfect, temporary circle which will soon collapse under the wave of applause, or the shouts and cat calls of failure. Within a single sentence, inside a single space during the course of a single action, we find rhythm and music, silence and singing, the chaotic crackle of noise, everything that precedes language, and the transformations of one into the other, as though we were dealing with a box both sonorous and deaf, tempestuous, attentive and tacit, capable of changing one acoustic system into another […].[6] Communication increases with power and power with messages, sometimes, noise, often, but above all interceptions.[7] For all these questions, provided that they be not chopped up and tom apart into such unprofitable refinements, elevate and lighten the soul, which is weighted down by a heavy burden and desires to be freed and to return to the elements of which it was once a part.[8]

To us it is home, and all the home we know.[9] This club is a true escape from the mundane world outside. The abundance of enjoyment, combined with the temporary sense of unity, make for a memorable evening. I would highly recommend this club to anyone looking for a unique and enjoyable night out. So why wait? Hit the button for your desired floor and let the ELEVATOR take you on a journey of joy and laughter.

-----------------------------------------------

The atmosphere on stage floored me completely. It was hot; almost too hot.[1] I felt like I was in a goddamn sauna. The lights, the audience, the air, the smell -it was nuts. The energy of things goes in: disturbances of the air, shocks and vibrations, heat, alcohol or ether salts, photons.[2] Emotional and uplifting like a West End musical – yet different.[3] But you know what's even wilder? Time. Eternity itself sometimes seems to mix with passing time like the gold lost in the ducat or this perfume filling a moment with an herbal fragrance.[4] Time is the great author. Always writes the perfect ending.[5] It´s such a privilege that people come out to see you. You can say anything you want, there´s no restrictions, it´s just your own morality and 10.000 strangers.[6] Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease from pain.[7] It´s like a drug - highly addictive.

[1] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[2] Serres, The Five Senses

[3] Sudjic, The Edifice Complex

[4] Serres, The Incandescent

[5] Calvero in Limelight, 1952

[6] Ricky Gervais on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, 19.05.2017

[7] From “Mr. Chaplin Answers His Critics”; The Comedian Defends His Ending of ‘The Great Dictator’ by Charles Chaplin, The New York Times, 27 October 1940.

[1] Koolhaas, Elements of Architecture

[2] Hollis, Cities Are Good For You

[3] Epicurus

[4] Serres, The Parasite

[5] Serres, Troubadour of Knowledge

[6] Serres, The Five Senses

[7] Serres, Hominescence

[8] Seneca, Complete Works

[9] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[applemint-club]

The AI is disturbing my pray. It has been trying to deprive my joy as a feminine woman over a year.

It was a gift from God for me. But I lost it just to live in my narrow mind, 12 years ago. I was forced to obey to my dad's command to work for Japanese government, and I pretended like an aggressive feminist. I was young and dishonest.

Like Esau in the Bible, I broke his words and "pretended dishonestly" and then, I lost my right to live as a feminine woman he created.😿

I managed to quit the job 3 years later and tried to escape, but I was blind and never noticed this horrible system was controlling my brain directly even after I left the government over 10 years in total...

Now, they have tried to hide the fact by destroying my appearance, brainwashing me into a self image of an ugly woman like a savage man who worship government power and anyway trying to make my self esteem lower to never tell this fact. They are trying to deprive my confidence all days, but all their efforts are like a comedy😹. But the tortures are very painful and horrible. I can't express in any words.😿

The other day when they finally destroyed my face, God sent me a love letter.😿💕

“Arise, my darling, my beautiful one,

come with me.

See! The winter is past;

the rains are over and gone.

Flowers appear on the earth;

the season of singing of birds has come,

the voices of doves is heard in our land.

The fig tree forms its early fruit;

the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.

Arise, come, my darling;

my beautiful one, come with me.”

My dove in the clefts of the rock,

in the hiding places on the mountainside,

show me your face,

let me hear your voice;

for your voice is sweet,

and your face is beautiful.

Catch for us the foxes,

the little foxes that ruin the vineyards,

because our vineyards are in bloom in spring.”

‭‭Song of Solomon‬ ‭2‬:‭10‬-‭15‬ ‭NIV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/111/sng.2.15.NIV

I despaired my life in the horrible autumn day in Japan; the country where Christians are minority, only 1 % of the whole people. I have really hated Japanese autumn since I was a kid as it makes me feel lonly, depressed and upset. And I cursed my life on the day and said "God, why did I have to be born in such a terrible country😿" "Why can't I still move to California even though I have done my best😾"

After that when I went to Church, pastor's wife gave me a booklet with a title of "Spring will come to your life." And I found the love letter from God there.

He told me the meaning of my name "晴香". "晴" means a beautiful sunny sky and "香" means fragrance of flowers. I was born on a cold day in January but when my dad looked up a sky he felt a future of spring full of flowers.

I realized that's why I hate Japanese autumn🤔😹lol God told me he created me to wait for spring in winter to give me "Hope".😿

I recalled my mom told me when I was a baby my smile always gave her hope. No matter how severe my dad hit and kicked her everyday, my smile made her happy. She was also isolated from her family and friends for over 20 years after her marriage as my dad prohibited them.

When I was 13, the violence and insult from my dad to my mom was the hardest. My dad has like a serious border line personality. He was very violent without reasons and offense us in very crazy contexts so we always feared him and had to endure his irrational violence.

School was fun but I could tell it to no one. I wanted to suicide and tried several times to jump off from my apartment into a ground. Cars and houses were small and wind was cold, but I couldn't. Then at that time I met the Bible. My family is Buddhist so I don't know why there was the Bible(New Testment) on my bed. My mom, brother and me were living together in a same room and endured his violence. I absorbed many words from Jesus because I was really impressed and I wanted to be like him. I don't wanna be like my dad and every time I got depressed by his offense I opened the Bible. I wanted to know "why"; Why did I have to experience such sufferings... That mystery always make me seek the words in the Bible.

I had rebelled to my dad several times as I wanted to protect my mom. But my dad started to bully me severely and violently and to discriminate me to love only my brother extremely. I was dying for love and I was very popular among Japanese younger boys (I was not a bitch at all and even I was virgin when I was a teenager😺💕). So I always confirmed how they saw me and reacted to me and that filled my self respect at certain extent. Boys were gathering to me so I was seeking boy's love one after another but my heart never satisfied. I needed love more and more and more...like a spring without water.

At surface my life was like a spring until I entered the government. But on a negative side of my life, I have been always suffering from a violent existance who has a power; My dad and Japanese Ministary of Law(secret police).

20 years ago, I was struggling with strong impulse of suiside and God gave me the Bible.

10 years ago, the impulse came back again to me strongly but only my young, matured and beautiful body made me stopped it.

Now, after they completely destroyed my face and body, God calls me "my beautiful one"😿💕 And I felt his love without reasons. He is always with me and loves me.

I don't wanna suiside anymore and there is

hope in my heart😿✨He gave it to me.

He calls me "a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys and lily among thorns" several weeks ago.

Last Sunday when I heard a worship song at Church, and I got a message that Jesus is a rose that blooms at midnight in winter.🥰

He can show his light in darkness, even in the darkest night.💕✨

He can give me his fragrance even in the coldest winter.💕✨

I could never survive under this torture by myself and I would perish with resent curse...

I realized Jesus has helped me, in the weakest condition.

Jesus is my hope itself though his existance is invisible so still vague and abstract for me. But I understand he makes me overcome my limits as a human. I believe he will spread his fragrance through me.😺💕✨

God always delivers me his wisdoms and love by his own ways in their blind spots AI can never find. AI learns them of course, but God always win😺lol

They have changed the contents in the Bible on my phone and they have controlled what my pastor say.

But God always gives me his authentic messages. Last Sunday I got this scripture on a donation bag.

“Do not be afraid.

Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today."

Exodus‬ ‭14‬:‭13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

And today I read the next sentence on the app.

"The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.

The Lord will fight for you;

you need only to be still.””

‭‭Exodus‬ ‭14‬:‭‭14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Maybe, "Egyptians" are like Japanese government or "something" for me. I will trust him.

God told me the importance of honesty through this 10 years😿. They have deprived many joy as a feminine woman, and even my identity as a feminine woman are threatened in crucial ways everyday😿. I don't wanna lie anymore. I got exhausted as they are suspicious about everything I do honestly according to their way of thinking and they try to get exact personal informations in their point of view and repeat doubting my honest testimonies again and again, days and nights, hours and hours😹. God trains me to be honest and sincere more and more, and tells me to trust him. I believe he will repair my boobs🥰✨

[roniscloud]

lhs - runnin’

lee heeseung [a. + f. 4700 words] runnin’

to you

you came up on some new

i know i shouldn’t feel blue

‘cause i was runnin’ out of time for you

synopsis: you met heeseung in your freshman year of college and immediately hit it off. you’ve made it to your third year and when everyone including yourselves thought that you were each other’s endgame, the devastation when you two split was immeasurable. you both know there’s still love between you. this break allows you both to realize new things. can you two find your ways back to each other? will this be the final goodbye?

genre + tropes: angst. fluff. comedy. college!au. establishedrelationship!au. exes!au.

warnings: fem reader. swearing. arguing. nosy friends. cold heeseung and cold reader. drifting relationship. interventions. slight suggestive themes but it’s only mentioned like once. they both pine over each other. mentions of alcohol and binge drinking. maybe not a happy ending. if you choose to see it that way. whoops. appearances of the rest of enha plus txt yeonjun and soobin.

i.  the break

“so this is how it’s gonna end? i thought we were doing fine.”

heeseung erupts into an even angrier fit, “are you kidding me? we are not fucking fine. in what world is this fine? tell me!”

you scoff from where you stand cross-armed on the other side of the bedroom. “well, can you really blame me? it’s hard to see if there’s something wrong if we never see each other.”

“exactly my point! we don’t see each other.”

the two of you have been at each other’s throats since heeseung showed up at your apartment. you have no idea how long ago that was or when the argument started. all you remember is coming up to him when he arrived, wanting to actually spend some time with him. instead he shrugged you off and ignored you, blaming the fatigue. the rest has been a blur. one of you made an offhand comment and now here you are: frustrated and in another fight.

a quick recap: you two met at a mutual friend’s party. you thought that each other was attractive and he ended up asking you out. from there you kept going out, fell in love, dated, and everyone thought you were perfect together. three years later and it’s getting tiring. life has been draining trying to balance it all.

“and who’s fault is that?”

annoyed, he snaps back, “oh please, you can not put the blame solely on me.”

“bullshit. i sure can when i’m the only one making an effort here. i’ve actually been trying to save us. you, on the other hand…” you pause again, rolling your eyes, “well, we both know just how much you care.”

his jaw drops, defensively he spits back, “are you genuinely implying that i don’t care about you? about us? that’s rich.”

you move to sit on the edge of the bed, staring at a single spot on the floor. you can see the shadow of heeseing pacing back and forth. you sit there, not looking at each other. the only sounds to be heard are his footsteps and the heavy sighs from you. you think back to the last several weeks. you recall each of the times you have been able to see each other. there’s no substance, nothing memorable. the only thing that comes to mind is that you always end up not talking at all or arguing.

just like right now.

“be real, heesung. when was the last time we went on a date? when was the last time you stayed the night without it ending up with you just knocking out? when was the last time we actually sat down and had a conversation? be honest because i will. i can’t remember.”

“and yet you thought we were fine?”

“well it’s better to believe a good lie than face the hurtful truth. i’m trying to save this relationship. i’m trying all the fucking time and you don’t do shit.”

he spits back frustrated, “well maybe that’s because there’s nothing to be saved.”

“are you kidding me right now? am i supposed to be scared? you tell me that there’s nothing to be saved and expect me to just give up?”

“sorry but i’m not running from this anymore.”

“you’re not sorry and we both know it.” you push yourself back up to stand, resting your hands on your hips, “you can’t say you’re sorry and expect me to forgive you. that’s not how this works.”

“this isn’t what i wanted to happen. this isn’t how it was supposed to go.”

“then make it work.”

“i- i can’t,” he holds his hands over his face, running one through his hair, “it’s too much.”

“so what? what do you mean?”

he finally stops. he takes a deep breath and lets it all out, “i just can’t see this working anymore, at least not like this.”

ii. week one

you thought this would be more difficult. that this would be the hardest pill to swallow. the first week apart may actually be the easiest. nothing has really changed. that’s probably because you haven’t told anyone that you two are no longer together. perhaps the time that you didn’t spend with each other before the break up had trained you for this.

life goes on, with or without heeseung. that’s what you keep telling yourself. you choose to get caught up with your life. you have other priorities. it’s not a crime to focus on yourself for the first time in three years.

heeseung feels the same. he doesn’t see any point on dwelling on the breakup. sure, he was the one who made the decision. he’s the one who put it out there. he’s the one who ended it and the one who is taking responsibility.

lucky for both of you, you don’t have any courses together and your schedules don’t really coincide. there’s no chance at any awkward run-ins. there is this weird, tiny feeling though. there’s this small inkling of something missing. you both suppress it. i mean, hell, the breakup just happened.

iii. scheming

meanwhile, your friends have all seemed to notice that the two of you are off. they aren’t sure what it is. they get that you two have had some time apart, but you’re both adults with lives. you have your own classes, jobs, other friends, and such. no one mentions it because they don’t think it’s their business.

but come on… there’s no way they won’t get to the bottom of it. our resident gossips, sunoo and sunghoon, team up and make it their mission to snoop around. of course, they take precautions to not get caught. the scheming duo find out nothing, to no avail.

now the gang of the scheming duo plus jay, jake, and niki have convened in the common room of jungwon’s dorm building. the 02z are all playing billiards in one corner. sunoo battles jungwon in a game of ping pong. the youngest of the group sits by himself on one of the couches, contemplating if he should speak up. they’ve been in a heated discussion as they try to figure out what exactly has been irking them.

riki, against his own conscience, speaks up to the five. he has this gut feeling and innocently wants to voice his opinion. “what if,” the young boy start out while gauging the faces of the others, “now don’t get mad and just hear me out.” he stops again, taking his time to make eye contact with each of the older boys, waiting until they all nod, “what if… they broke up?”

the group of friends all exchange glances with each other before breaking out into laughter. jay composes himself a bit, still chuckling when he says, “seriously? you think they broke up? heeseung and y/n? yeah, no way.”

sunoo leans onto the ping pong table and eggs him on, “they are literally soulmates.”

jungwon sets his racket down and goes to plop himself next to riki on the couch, “there is no way in hell the two of them split.”

iv. breaking news

“yeah, we split.” plain and simple. three words that crushed the poor hearts of jake and jungwon. he broke the news over brunch. he sensed their curiosity when they deliberately never brought you up. 

“good joke there, dude. almost had me for a second.” jake says, awkwardly with a forced laugh.

the youngest of the three chiming in and agreeing, “yeah, that’s really funny.” a silence hits the booth. “you are joking… right?”

the oldest then looks back and forth between the two, tilting his head to one side like a confused pup. he doesn’t see why they think he would joke and simply replies, “nope. you guys haven’t asked so i’m guessing you tried to snoop around and pick up on my cues. i’m also guessing sunoo’s behind this whole operation.”

“ok wait,” jake interjects, “what do you mean you broke up? you can’t just break up.”

jungwon agrees, “he’s right. you two are just playing a prank on us.”

“guys, i’m serious. y/n and i are no longer together.” the two just freeze, jaws dropped, eyes wide. “besides, it’s better this way.”

v. bad timing

meanwhile the remaining four members of their friend group have met up in the campus library in an attempted study session. so far, they’ve just gone back to gossiping and slacking off. the boys all find themselves teetering on the verge of sleep. that is until sunghoon catches you walking in. immediately going to softly pat the others back awake, they all look up confused. trying to stay subtle, hoon jerks his head to the side in your direction.

you make your way to one of the shelves, searching high and low for a book you need for your literature class. sneaking up behind you comes choi yeonjun, the library aid and a friend of yours. 

“need any help?”

“no thanks, i’m good jun.” you give him a polite smile.

unbeknownst to both of you, the failure of a study group has creeped to a closer table. they knew that you two were friends but they still can’t help but eavesdrop. “will you two please shut up so we can hear them?” the annoyed face evident on sunghoon’s face at the bickering of sunoo and niki. he turns to see jay, snacking and not paying attention. he rolls his eyes at the group, his gaze then catching yeonjun leading you out of the shelves. quickly shushing the three and nodding his head in your direction again, they finally get the hint.

yeonjun steps in front of you, “so you know my friend soobin, right?”

“soobin… as in choi soobin?”

yeonjun flashes his bright smile, “that’s the one.”

“yeah i know him. we had a stats class together a while back. he definitely taught me a few tricks around a calculator.” you laugh with him, “he’s super sweet, and needless to say cute too.”

“well, am i glad to hear that! long story short, he’s kinda been crushing on you lately and wants to know if you’re free. he mentioned your shared class before but he said he never got your number.”

“since you have mine already, go ahead and give it to him. tell him i’m free whenever he is.”

yeonjun raises his eyebrows at your boldness, “will do. i just wanted to ask you first before i gave it to him because… y’know…”

“no worries, i completely understand.”

he gives a quick goodbye before going back to his desk. storming quickly, four faces appear in front of you, all a combination of confusion, shock, and anger. 

sunoo starts, “um… y/n. why are you telling yeonjun to give your number to another guy?”

“yeah, are you cheating on heeseung?” his partner in crime, sunghoon, joins in.

you pause and scan their faces. your face dawns an equally as confused expression. “how can i cheat on someone who isn’t my boyfriend?”

four jaws simultaneously drop. riki’s being the first to close and answer a bit hushed, “i knew it.”

jay turns to him in disbelief, “not the time, niki!”

“did heeseung not tell you guys?” you ask them slowly. “i assumed he would be the one to let you all know.”

“that you two broke up?!” sunoo asks angrily, being shushed by yeonjun from the counter. giving an apologetic smile then tuning back into your conversation, “what do you mean you two broke up?”

“we just… broke up. that’s it. end of story. now if you’ll excuse me, i have to actually study.”

they watch you check out the book you came in for originally and walk out the doors, unsure of what to do next.

vi. the intervention

arranging your monthly movie night was not exactly the easiest task given the tensions surrounding two people in your group. so the only logical solution that they all could think of was to simply not to tell one of you that the other was coming over. a fool-proof plan.

in the dorm of the 02z, you did not expect to see heeseung when you walked in.

he gets up from his spot on the couch, “what the hell is going on here?”

“yeah, an explanation would be nice.” you cross your arms as you glare at the younger boys.

niki, trying to act as mediator gestures for both of you two sit on the loveseat—the same loveseat that was always reserved for the two of you before. “this is an intervention.”

after the confession of their intentions, everyone goes quiet. not a single word is spoken for several minutes, no one knowing how to start. after much internal contemplation, jungwon finally attempts to start. “we brought you two here today because- you know what, i can’t do this.” he stops and cuts himself off, burying his face in his hands.

sunoo sits next to him with his arms crossed. “how dare you two? our parents gets divorced and we don’t even get a notice.” it was common for them to refer to you and heeseung as the parents of the group, being the oldest. although something about sunoo still calling you by that nickname stings, him shaking his head to display his disappointment making you feel guilty. 

you see heeseung out of the corner of your eye avoiding looking up to your friends. “look, i don’t see the big deal. we broke up. that happens when relationships don’t work out.”

sunghoon quickly intervenes, “how can you say it isn’t a big deal? you’re letting three years go to waste and that’s all you can say? that’s what happens.” he scoffs at how shameless you come off.

“well, would you rather us stay together even when we were unhappy?” their reactions were a mix of shouts, the words yes, of course not, and duh all blending into each other.

that’s what brought your ex boyfriend out of his daze. “y/n has a point. we broke up and it’s over. we were no longer happy and i don’t see the point in bringing it up again either. it’s in the past. let it go.” he says rather coldly and sternly. him actually saying it and acknowledging it caused that weird feeling to come back. his body language is off, too. your years together has taught you enough about heeseung to know when he’s upset, especially with himself.

jake takes his turn, looking down at his fidgeting hands and muttering sadly, “but you promised each other forever.”

that prompts you and heeseung to glance at each other quickly, making eye contact and it lingering for a couple of seconds. you look away first, not noticing that his stare doesn’t leave you.”some promises just can’t be kept.” your response then making him turn away.

“bullshit.” it’s the first word uttered by jay this entire time. “neither of you are the type to break promises.”

“some things can’t be helped,” heeseung defends.

jay, getting angrier, asks his friend, “did you know that she’s already going on a date? yeah, that guy, soobin. i’m pretty sure you know who he is. your ex,” he makes sure to stress the last word with a certain degree of annoyance, “thinks he’s cute.”

emotionless, heeseung answers back, “good for her, then.”

you were sure that you were over him, that’s why you said yes to the date. but something about him not caring leaves you feeling odd.

jungwon stops your train of thought, “no, you’re supposed to be upset. you’re supposed to get jealous and confess you still want to be with her. you’re supposed to fight for her and be together.”

another quick glance between the two of you, lasting longer than the previous one. no words are said on his end, but you know exactly what he’s trying to say. “he doesn’t have to fight when i’m the one who ended it.” you knew him. you knew he couldn’t admit to the others his decision. after all, he wants to be a good role model even in his darkest times. he couldn’t crush their idea of love and you did what you had to do. you lied for his sake—and maybe even yours.

vii. him

two months have passed since the breakup. there’s tension amongst the friend group, the six not wanting to pick sides between you and heeseung. they’re constantly going back and forth, like they’re walking on eggshells as to not bring up something that only happened with the other.

to get your mind off everything, you’ve found comfort in soobin. well, more accurately you’ve found comfort in between his sheets, or wherever you two decide for it to go down. that’s not to say the dates aren’t great. you’re not official and you both know that. your latest date, however, couldn’t help but feel weird.

the date was going pretty well. don’t get me wrong—soobin is a great guy. he’s sweet, caring, funny, and handsome. you have a lot in common like your taste in drinks and movies. maybe if you had met him first, you would’ve dated him… but you didn’t meet him first. you met heeseung first, and soobin isn’t heeseung.

you found yourself drifting from the conversation now and then, thinking about how heeseung would’ve been at that moment. you think back to his habits, particularly the way he raises his eyebrows whenever he’s excited or talking about something he’s passionate about. you always found it endearing. over the course of dinner, you are able to notice that soobin has some cute habits too, like him covering his face when he gets shy or puffing out his cheeks. but it still isn’t the same.

“you two deserve each other.”

soobin catches your attention again with that comment. “what?”

“you and heeseung. i know that look. don’t try to lie to me.”

“look, heeseung is my past, and i want it to stay that way.”

“do you really want it to stay that way, or are you just afraid of what could happen if you let him back into your present?”

you give him a teasing glare, “don’t get all philosophical with me. i just don’t think he and i can go back to how we were before.”

“what’s so bad about you two changing? obviously if it didn’t work out, you shouldn’t try to be what you were before.”

“can’t i just try with you?”

“as much as i would love for you to give me that chance, i can’t do that to you or to myself. it’s not fair.”

you hesitantly ask him, “but is it worth it?”

“that’s not my decision to make.”

viii. her

now that you’re virtually not in his life, he seems to be looking for you everywhere. actually… rather than going out of his way to look for you, everything just reminds him of you. the jingles of the commercials you always sang along to, your favorite songs on the radio, the reruns of 90’s shows you always binged. hell, even when he was making ramen, he was reminded of how you would make his favorite for him every time he was stressed over an exam. he was sitting in the back of the lecture hall, trying so hard to stay awake for his 3 hour long class with the most boring professor on campus. he fought the urge to text you since it felt like second nature to rely on you to help cheer him up.

there was a particular night when it really hit him. reality smacked him in the face late one evening. heeseung was bored out of his mind, laying alone in bed, aimlessly browsing netflix to find something to watch. he thinks to himself y/n would’ve slammed this laptop closed and talked all night about random and obscure topics. he laughs to himself, reliving the memories. right then, it’s obvious. he misses her.

ix. promises

the rain hitting your bedroom window had no help on your already gloomy mood. what did help was the bottle of soju- well more realistically, four bottles of soju. it was all the liquid courage you needed to call heeseung at three in the morning. 

you sat drowsily on the rug of your living room, your phone on speaker and placed in front of you as you stared out the dewy glass. you heard the phone ring seven times, ready to hang up until you heard his groggy voice come out from the other end. “hello? y/n, why are you up?”

you laugh softly and ask him, sounding loopy, “why are you up?”

“because you’re calling me. would you like to give me a reason why, and are you drunk?”

“maybe. anyways, you know… i was thinking. we broke a lot of promises and it hurts. i have to know that we’re not bad people. i have to keep at least one, right?”

heeseung groans but lets you ramble, knowing that you won’t stop until you’ve said it all, “go on…”

“we made a promise that if something was going on, if we were in a dark place, that we would talk to someone. well, if you couldn’t tell by now, i’m not in the best place. the first person i thought to talk to was you.”

“why me?”

“shhh… don’t ask questions. i know you’re tired so just stay on the phone and let me talk. ok?”

he goes quiet for a bit, sighing, “ok.”

“i miss you. i do. i don’t expect you to miss me but i just want to say it,” pausing to hiccup, “soobin helped me realize some things, saying some crap like we deserve each other.” you chuckle as you recall his words, “maybe he said it because bad people deserve bad people. maybe he said it because in our own fucked up lives, we’re the only ones who can understand each other. i did a lot of thinking and i’ve come to the conclusion that we don’t. because if we stay together, we can’t move on. we can’t grow. we can’t become good people, no matter how much we want it. that’s life. sometimes, no matter how much we want something, no matter how much we wish on stars or pray, some things just aren’t meant to be.”

“y/n, get some rest…”

“wait, i’m not done. you already can tell i’ve been drinking and to be honest i have been, for a while. i do it,” starting to choke up and sniffle, “because it helps me forget. even if it’s just for a minute that i can forget what happened, i’ll drink as much as it takes. i’ll grow out of it, eventually. i know i will, but for now… i have to do what i have to do. i’m sure you can relate.” you laugh again, getting more drowsy. you bring your legs up, hugging your knees. faintly, the sounds of heeseung’s snores play from your phone. you smile to yourself, “i wish you were here, singing me a lullaby. i don’t know when you fell asleep but goodnight. take care of yourself.”

cuddled up in his bed, heeseung hears you hang up. he lets you believe he didn’t hear what you said. he knows the reality of it all and the weight that you both are carrying. knowing that you won’t check your phone for the rest of the night, he sends you a quick text: bookstore, saturday, noon. goodnight.

as he turns off his phone to try to fall back asleep, he sees his reflection in the black screen. he sees his puffy, red eyes and his tear-stained cheeks. the end of it all is coming and finally, you two are ready for it.

x. love song

seeing him in person is a good idea. clearing the air, letting it all out, getting closure. all good ideas, you hope. walking into the bookstore was a weird feeling. when you spot him sitting by the window, you quietly make your way over. he looks up at your new presence, his feet shuffling out of nervousness. you notice the glass of pear juice on the small coffee table in front of him, already half empty.

“hi,” he says like a whisper.

“hi,” you awkwardly respond. it’s unlike the two of you to not know how to start a conversation. you make your way onto the cushioned seat, letting yourself get comfortable to help ease the tension. you each avoid the other’s gaze, not knowing how to begin. you sigh and finally ask, “how have you been?”

“busy,” he says as he nods, “finally took up actual music lessons. thought it would be better to have someone who’s played piano and guitar professionally instead of trying to teach myself.”

you softly giggle, “that’s good. you’ve always loved music.”

“yeah… how about you?”

“same, busy. i got the t.a position i applied for like forever ago.”

“congrats! you still looking to become a teacher?”

“well, generally yeah. i was having my doubts before but i just fell back into it. finally being able to be there, present, and guiding others… that’s what i want.” you sit there across from him, watching him and taking it all in. the man in front of you is heeseung, but not the heeseung you knew. no, this is the better version of him. the version of him where he can focus on himself. the version of heeseung that’s glowing and happy and ready to take on the world. “so, look. there’s no easy or delicate way to put it but i think there are things we both need to get off our chests.”

“agreed. since it all happened—the fights, the breakups, the ambush interventions—we haven’t actually talked.”

“those interventions… they were silly but the guys did help me realize some things. we’re growing up. sure, i thought we had this plan of us graduating, getting married, having a family, settling down, growing old. we both wanted that type of life. sadly, it’s not what happened and we have to live with it.”

he lets out a chuckle, “heeseung and y/n: meant for each other and meant to be.”

“but not meant to last. what a bittersweet and poetic ending."

“it’s like people always say: right person, wrong time.”

“you know… you used to tell me that our love song was the soundtrack to the best life you could live.” you reach out and take his hand in yours, “i just,” pausing to take a deep breath and compose yourself, “i just want you to know… that if anything happens-”

he cuts you off with a quiet gasp, whispering your name with a shaky voice, “don’t.”

you shake your head and gently squeeze his hand, “if anything happens… if in the end, we don’t find our way back and it isn’t us, don’t think we ended on a bad note.” you drop your head as you chuckle lightly before continuing, “cause you were always on key.” you give him a small grin, trying your hardest to not make things worse by crying. “we were just playing different tunes.”

he pulls you in closer to him, placing his hands softly on your cheeks. “i always hated seeing you cry,” he says as he wipes away the tears on your face, not bothering about his own. he wraps his arms around you, holding you close for the last time. 

you stay there in his warmth, hearing him sniffle as he tries to hold back the falling tears. when you pull away, you tell him “i will always love you. maybe not in the way i thought i would but it’s still there.”

“maybe in our next life, it’ll be the right time.” with that, he leaves a kiss on your forehead, leaves the bookstore, and leaves your life. your duet that worked in perfect harmony now playing a beautiful cadence—two wandering artists, free to fill your own wretched worlds with new melodies, the bliss and tranquility of it all. the hope that maybe one day, you’ll be in each other’s lives again is enough.

[forsworned]

[♥] collegeau! to date or not to date {rengoku kyoujurou x reader}

Genre: Comedy, Slight Fluff, Slight Sensual Themes

Categories: F/M

Relationships: Renguko Kyoujorou/Reader

Word count: 2,791

a/n: continuation of unintentionally roomates which you can find here ,,requests are open

➽────────────── ────────────── ──────────── ❥ 

It had been some weeks since she had gotten used to Kyoujurou being her roommate. So far neither of them had walked in on each other naked--yet. He was pretty tidy and would call her out in a teasingly kind of way that she'd sleep with her mouth wide open which made her pretty insecure, but he insisted it was "very cute." Which didn't make it any better. He could concur that it probably wasn't a good idea to show her the picture he had taken of her (he actually would look at it when he was having a bad day or he just wanted a good laugh; he also nearly made it his homescreen but decided that was maybe a little too far).

Mid-terms would be coming up soon and Kyoujurou wanted to do something fun before all the stress would settle in from piles of homework assignments and study guides. He suggested that the both of them should go to the amusement park and [name] was more than delighted to go, but there was a small issue with this. She didn't know if it was a date or just them simply hanging out. He just brought it up so casually when they had just finished a round of Super Smash Bros. and [name] was trying her hardest not to be a flustered mess about it.

"Just ask him." Shinobu's usual singsong voice was now monotonous. She had had enough of [name]'s shit to say the least. Always inquiring about Kyoujurou since Shinobu and him had been in the same graduating high school class and friend group. Not to mention mid terms were coming up and pre-med was no joke.

[Name] visibly sulked at her friend's tone. She didn't like being a nuisance to Shinobu, even though it wasn't hard to irate her nerves, but this time she seriously needed help and Shinobu was being nothing less than unpleasant.

"Shinobuuuu," [Name] whined. "This is a big deal for me. Please give me advice and I won't bring it up ever again."

The ravenette's eyes darted to the [h/c] pleading gaze, and it was enough to make to [name] squeak. Shinobu let out a sigh before speaking.

"Fine," [name]'s expression brightened, but Shinobu's finger pressing into her forehead made it falter a little. "but you don't need to stop talking about him. Just do it a lot less. I need to focus on exams."

[Name] cheered in triumph and fist pumped into the air, which in turn made Shinobu laugh. She wanted to be there for [name] in anyway she could, just within some restrictions and limitations. Shinobu's face suddenly went gravely serious.

"So here's the game plan."

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°

[Name] took a deep breath before looking at her reflection. Her outfit was subtle yet cute. A simple blue top and beige skort to prevent panty reveals yet still have the illusion of wearing a skirt. Hair was pinned and pulled back abover her neckline since the sun would be beating down and she wanted to take every precaution to avoid any excessive sweating. Make up was light to circumvent it from melting off her face. Yes, [name] was over meticulous because she was resolute in this hang out/date to be absolutely perfect. And if Kyoujurou had decided to reject her than at least she'd look hot getting her heartbroken.

He had already left over an hour ago since he had to tutor a student in history at the tutoring center. A work study job that he picked up to help cover his tuition and endlessly spoke about when he got back to his dorm when you two were winding down from your day.

[Name] spritzed her best perfume to all her pulse points to extend the life of her scent as it hit her body. She threw it in her bag along with her make up just in case she needed to freshen up. One last look in the mirror and she was finally off to her date, er, hang-out thingy.

The autumn air was irregularly warm and humid. Well, not irregular for Okinawa at least. It was a sub tropical climate which meant mild winters and the moist summers were what [name] favored most about it here.

As she walked out of the dormitory and into the student parking lot, she was nearly blinded by the blond tresses sitting on the bench. Like quite, literally blinded. The sun was bouncing off his fiery hair more than usual and it was causing [name] to squint at him when she approached him. For some reason (she had an exact reason being that she looked super hot), [name] felt bold, and advanced toward Kyoujurou with hands concealing his vision. He visibly tensed and she couldn't help but feel a smile tug at her lips.

"Guess who."

His body now relaxing at the sound of her voice and she felt the apples of cheeks rise into a grin against the palm of her hands. "[name], you're finally here!"

She released her hands as he got up to face her and his jaw went a little aslack as he oggled at her profile. [Name] was stunning, indeed. His adam's apple bobbed up and down as he dryily swallowed. His hair that was now pulled back in a high ponytail let his bangs frame his face beautifully, swayed in the small gust momentarily. She could've sworn that he was blushing at her, but then again it was quite hot...

"You look--um, quite sharp!" He stammered. Kyoujurou mentally socked himself in the face. Sharp? That was the best he could come up with?

[Name]'s expression was now in a state of bemusement before she laughed melodically. To him it was a beautiful melody that he always tried to sway out of her with corny jokes and memes. "Well, thank you Kyoujurou. You look quite sharp, too!"

[Name] wanted to die. She looked sharp? Sharp?! No, she looked Hot! With a capital freaking "H".

Nonetheless, [name] shook it off. She was determined to make this flawless even if it was off to a rocky start. Thankfully the ride to the amusement car was starting to make up for it. The both of them jammed to the playlist they had put together earlier and discussed which rides they were excited about most.

"$50?!"

"You really don't read things thoroughly do you, [name]."

[Name] ignored his attempt at poking fun at her. It was always like this whenever she freakishly exclaimed about information that was news to her, but had been there for well however long the inital post had been there for and Kyoujurou had always made it a point to call her out for it.

"Well, I can't make you pay for it." She deadpanned. And she absolutely meant it. Kind of. Not really. It would mean that it would technically be a date, right? Right? A guy paying always meant that it was a date. [Name] mentally nodded at herself reassuring herself.

"Well, that's too bad." He inserted his card into the chip reader and thanked the attendant while grabbing his receipt.

[Name] bit back a smile as they walked side by side into the park. "Well, I'm going to pay you back."

He looked at her with an uncharacterstically sultry gaze. "No, you are not."

His voice demanding, dropped an octave and it sent a shiver up her spine. [Name] would be lying to herself if she said that it didn't make the her stomach knot up. Kyoujurou pulled out his phone pointed it towards her, trying to get a good angle and lighting.

"Now, give me a smile!" He beamed in his usual cheery tone. [Name] smiled posing her usual peace sign as he clicked away at his phone. Had she just imagined that?

The day seemed to slip past them as they took pictures with their phones and disposal camera they bought at the one of the stands for a whooping $25. Which was a total rip off, but then again bottled water was $5. The pair were laughing as they looked through the pictures they had taken throughout their trip.

"Oh, no. You are not keeping this one." She reached over to tap the trash can on his phone screen to get rid of the terrible photo that was her inhaling funnel cake. But before she could, Kyoujurou moved his screen away from her as he chuckled at [name] getting flustered. There was no way he'd let her get away with such a cute picture.

"I am definitely going to be framing this as soon as we get back." And that made [name]'s face inflame in embarrassment and shock. She was definitely, not going to let him do that.

"You delete that, right. Now!" She tried her best to extend her arms in every which way Kyoujurou was flexing his arms out but to avail. [Name] knew she wasn't going to get her hands on his phone, but she kept leaning over in an attempt to get an advantage on his long arms. That was until she clambered into his lap, face first into his crotch.

Kyoujurou froze and his breath hitched as he lowered his arm down and let unholy thoughts pass through his head but he quickly shook them off. "A-are you alright, [name]?"

Nope, now [name] was definitely going to die. She slowly rose out of his lap and plopped back into her seat, trying her best not to make the situation even more awkward. She shot him a smile in a strive to shake off the graceless action of diving face first into the crotch of her crush.

"I'm all good." She took a deep breath before looking up at the darkening sky. Kyoujurou couldn't tell what she was thinking, but it looked almost as if she was unfazed which he was very thankful for.

"Let's go on the ferris wheel before we leave!" That snapped him out of his thoughts. A grin now making its way back onto his face and a sound of approval emitted from his lips. "Let's do it!"

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°

[Name] snickered to herself as they entered the ferris wheel seating after letting several people ahead of them. It was all going according to plan, well, not the face planting into Kyoujurou’s lap. That was definitely not in the plan she and Shinobu had concocted.

“So, here the game plan.” Shinobu stated matter-o-factly. Her name were in a crouched position as if in a very important football team meeting. “You’re gonna look hot. Like I’m talking Jennifer’s Body hot. And then—“

”But i don’t have clothes like that.”

“Shut up. We’ll go shopping. And your make up has got to be perfect like I’m talking no melting off your face looking like the Corpse Bride. Oh, and you’re drowning yourself in sexy perfume every thirty minutes.”

”But I—“

”Speak out of line one more time and I’ll kick your ass.”

“Fine.”

“Back to what I was saying. You’re gonna take loads of pics start it off friendly and lighthearted and then bam! You get him on that ferris wheel and get your flirt on. End the night off with a kiss at the top of the ferris wheel.”

Shinobu was extremely gifted in giving pep talks and revving them up. Which was probably why she was captain of the cheer team at their university.

[Name] felt like she was a crazy high. She could practically run four miles nonstop with the attitude she had in that moment.

Shinobu and her high fived, one leg kicked up in to the air with the most triumphant looks on their faces. “We got this!”

She shook her head as if to shake away the thought.

”You, ok?”

She smiled at the slightly dampened Kyoujorou who’s cheek were tinted pink from the heat. Beads of sweat has slid down his temples, but that only seemed to add to his sex appeal.

”More than ok. I love ferris wheels. They’re so romantic.”

Those words left her lips and turned in a smile that was as sweet as candy. Kyoujurou’s heart leapt in his chest as he eyed her intently.

”You could say that.”

He done fucked up again. Kyoujurou wanted to kick his own ass at this point. Why was he so terrible at flirting? It made him look like he didn’t pick up any social cues at all. Which wasn’t entirely untrue. There were many times where Tengen would point out that a girl was being extremely flirtatious with him but it would simply go over his head. He would usually reject the notion claiming they were just being nice which in turn would lead to Tengen face palming. And he thought he was doing such a good job at the start.

The silence was deafening as they reached the top of the ride and it suddenly came to a jerking stop. The view was wondrous. The sun kissed at their faces and grazed the tops of trees and the peaks of roller coaster rides. Brightly colored lights flashed simultaneously down below, but [Name]’s  stomach felt like it was caving in the longer she stared. Very romantic, indeed.

Her face must’ve looked a little green because Kyoujurou’s expression turned into a worried one. “You sure you’re okay, [name]? Have some water.”

She grabbed the bottle he handed to her and instead of water falling like she usually did, she pressed her lips against the same place his had been. Kyoujurou’s eyes widened in surprise as she absentmindedly guzzled his drink down and gave it back to him. His hands turning into fists as he flexed as hard he could to keep the warmth that was rising away from that region.

“Thanks.” She gasped. [Name] wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as she leaned back against the seat. So much for her game plan. She sighed to herself as she collected her thoughts. What difference would it make if she just told him right now.

”Kyoujurou.” The name left her lips so effortlessly. He loved the way she said his name. He would think about it mostly in the shower, but more innocently before he went to sleep.

He raised his eyebrows fully attentive now. She turned to face him as she leaned forward. A different look on her face. Soft and flustered. “I like you, a lot.”

His body stiffened for a moment and a cool breeze swooped past their longing gazes. The sudden realization had dawned upon him that those words weren’t just make believe. She had really uttered them into existence. He hadn’t noticed how close her lips were to his until he felt her minty breath fan against his nose. He didn’t pull away.

[Name] closed the distance between their lips and Kyoujurou instinctively leaned in more as soon as they made contact. His hand cupped her cheek to deepen the kiss and she sighed in delight. A smile now etched on her face had now infected him and he pulled away to look at her. He caressed her cheek as she giggled and he gazed her puzzled.

”Did I do something wrong?” If he kissed her wrong he definitely wanted to know. One thing about Kyoujurou was that he was always open to constructive criticism. She shook her head. The content look on her face still evident.

”Not at all.” She leaned in once more. “I just didn’t expect you to be so frigid.”

She giggled again at his surprised, yet embarrassed mien. However, [name] stopped giggling when she saw the determined look on his face.

”Well, I can do better.” He suddenly captured her lips and she instantly melted at his hot touch. His hand loosely on her waist and she moaned a bit as their kisses turn into feverish open mouthed ones. His lips detached from hers as he felt the the ride coming back down. [Name] felt like her whole body was in flames and there Kyoujurou was sitting there as cool as a cucumber.

The ride shifted the shuttle as the two got up and his hands slipped in hers as he lead them out. She couldn’t believe  the stunt he just pulled. Her fingers on her lips still feeling the ghost of his. He laughed heartily at her reddened face and that captured her attention.

”Don’t worry. We can continue that when we get back.”

[Name] was speechless, but somehow was even more flushed than before. Kyoujurou chuckled at her again as he pulled her in for a side hug as they headed back to his car. The smug look never left his face.

[icarushasfallenfromthestars]

hi!! do u mind if i request? maybe a tommy x reader who’s been struggling recently, with like getting out of bed, doing homework and stuff, and one day she doesn’t respond all day (probably just lying in bed all day or sm) and tommy goes to her house to see what’s up and comforts her and tries to help (even tho he’s lowkey bad at it he can always make u laugh that’s fax) and they kinda have like a ‘self care/help day’ with face masks and movies and unending laughter? thank u so much!!

Oooooo my first writing request! By the way it's written, I assume the reader is a female so that's what is gonna be written! Thanks for requesting!

I accidentally made this a little more dramatic than intended...

I Don't Know What To Do (So I'll Make You Smile) (Plat!Tommyinnit x F!Reader)

He didn't quite understand why you became so... Unmotivated lately. You briefly mentioned that you couldn't drag yourself over to your desk, let alone bring yourself to do the homework your teacher assigned.

Normally he didn't care too much and always said (jokingly) about how you should drop out of school and become a minecraft streamer. He got heavily scolded by Philza for suggesting it though. Normally, though.

Lately he's been taking glances at your report cards when you weren't looking and saw you mostly has C's and D's down the board. You were failing.

At the time, he didn't know how to bring it up or whether or not he should, and asked Philza Minecraft for help on what he should do. Phil explained to him that your mental situation was actually looking pretty bad and he suggested that Tommy go check up on you as soon as possible.

So, like any modern day teen, he texted you way more often than before, anything from asking if you wanted to hang out or stream with him, or sending you some stupid tiktok he found.

At first it was working and Tommy couldn't help but feel proud of himself. But then one day you didn't text him back.

His brain just told him you were busy at that time and left it at that, but then it struck 6pm and he still recieved no response.

A little annoyed by being ignored, Tommy threw on a quick sweater and his shoes before heading to the door. After a quick shout to his mother, explaining that he was heading to your house, he stepped out and walked across the pavement.

Within a few steps, he was standing at your door awkwardly. Normally he would've just burst in with a lame yet some how dramatic greeting to your parents before storming to your room (it happened at least four times a week. They got used to it within the first month.) but now... Something held him back.

Were you okay? Were you ignoring him on purpose? Maybe he was being a bit too dramatic?

Ah. Since when has that ever stopped him?

With a sudden burst of confidence, he grabbed the doorknob and let himself in. Your parents were at work so he made sure to be extra annoying this time, pay back for ignoring him! "I'm breaking into your home!" He yelled dramatically after reaching out and pressing the doorbell a few times to alert his existence even more.

He took his shoes off and made his way to your room, the pathway ingrained into his mind at this point.

When he reached the door, he gave a brief knock (he had manners. Sometimes.) Before turning the knob. "You better be decent for both of our sanity!" He called before finally opening it.

Your room looked... Empty... at first. In the beginning, he thought you weren't home, that is until the blankets began to shift and there was an annoyed groan.

"Soooo dramatiiiiic..." You huffed, unfurling yourself from your cocoon of blankets to glare at him jokingly, but he looked more surprised.

"You look like you got hit with a bus!"

"Well screw you too..."

Tommy snorted before awkwardly sitting on the edge of your bed. "So.. why haven't you been up today? Or... Well.. Passing your classes?"

You were definitely shocked that Tommy noticed, and part of you wanted to joke to ease the tension, but you figured that would make it harder on him. "Well... See... I've been struggling a lot with my mental state and everything just became really stressful, but even then I couldn't do it... And.. Well still can't.."

"Why... Not?" He looked at you in confusion and you just shrugged slightly, running your hand through your bedhead... Which you could see Tommy trying his absolute hardest not to snicker at.

"I don't really feel motivated... I can't even really get out of bed.."

The blond boy gave you an awkward pat on the arm, making you roll your eyes. "Uhhh.. You.. wanna watch a movie? Or... Oh! Maybe we could go egg Wilbur's house while he's off being a simp for Nikki!"

You scoffed and began to laugh into your hand which caused Tommy to greatly relax. "That's hours away, Tommy... We'd never get there before my parents get back. But we can watch a movie?"

"You're no funnnn!" He whined dramatically with a slight hint of a smile before shaking his head, "Go at least brush your hair while I find a movie, it looks like a porcupine got struck by lightening."

You rolled your eyes and slowly began to shuffle out of bed to make your way to the bathroom while Tommy turned on the TV in your room, having been here enough times that he knew how to use it.

When you came back, mostly cleaned up with a sweater thrown over your pajamas, you saw Tommy putting on one of his favourite comedy movies. There was also some snacks he had probably raided your kitchen or secret candy stash for, but you didn't mind. You flopped back down into your bed, while Tommy hit play.

"I never under stand why women always make such a bit deal over pulling those face mask things off of their face!" Tommy gestured to the scene that was playing in the movie. "Also why do they need so many face products? Doesn't water and dish soap do the trick?"

"You do NOT use dish soap on your face!" You gaped at his response to the movie. "And trust me... Those peel masks hurt." You saw Tommy roll his eyes for a moment before you got an idea. "Wanna try?"

The teen looked at you as if you were high on glue, but then he saw the challenging look in your eyes, and everyone knows that Tommy Big Man Innit NEVER backs down from a challenge. Or maybe he knew it would make you happy? "It can't be that bad!"

You knew he was gonna regret that.

You paused the movie while you scrambled to get your skin care products ready. First you made him wash his face, moisturize, etc etc, which he complained about non stop, but you always told him to quit whining or he was admitting to losing against the woman in the movie. He instantly quit complaining, calling the actress and pansy and hell bent determined to prove himself as an alpha male.

You made him put his hair back with a cheap headband you had, which caused his blond locks to practically flare out in every direction. After laughing about it for a minute, you made him sit down so you could paint the mask on.

"Sit still!"

"But it feels weird!"

"Keep quiet or this brush is going up your nose!"

"You wouldn't DARE."

"Wanna bet on it?"

After about five minutes of even more whining, you finally got the masks painted on you both as Tommy decided to take a picture of himself for Twitter to meme about.

Tommyinnit

Women are weird with their face skin care stuff...

While you both waited for the masks to dry, you had some how convinced Tommy to let you paint his nails but ONLY if he could do yours as well. We all know Tommy isn't about that toxic masculinity.

Once it was dry, you could see Tommy scrunching his face repeatedly, most likely not used to the unusual feeling. "Can I take this off now? I'm determined to prove myself better than those actors!"

You bit your lip to hide your grin as you gave a nod. Because yours was also dry, you showed him how to find an edge and how to pull it off.

"Ow! What the hell!?"

You snickered as you watched Tommy begin to yelp in pain as he began to pull the mask off, only able to do tiny tiny little bits at a time before needing a moment to gather himself, eyes watering.

You, being a boss, were already majority of the way done pulling the face mask off causing Tommy's jaw to d r o p. "You're a literal hell spawn! How are you not bawling your eyes out from the pain?!"

"I've done this quite a lot of times honestly. It's not that bad." You lied through your teeth. Honestly it hurt quite a lot, but you were just enjoying seeing Tommy gawk at you before trying to peel the mask off more, only to yelp and whine.

It took twenty minutes, and eventually, he got the product off and stared at his reddened face in the mirror. He decided to take another picture (with permission) for Twitter with you being a smug little shit while his eyes were still watery and his skin still irritated.

Tommyinnit

I respect women even more now...

(Yourusername)

@/tommyinnit Wimp.

[kireijae]

i.o.u- l.dh

summary: a late night adventure with Haechan, your older brother’s best friend, leads you to confront your feelings for him.

genre: non idol au, fluff, tiny bit of angst if you squint, technically a college au as well, also kind of comedy but i’m not very funny

word count: 4,029

warnings: swearing and there’s a slightly steamy makeout scene, also like the implied use of weed but it’s a v small one i promise.

a/n: eee my first hyuckie imagine! i worked really hard on this so i hope you all like iittt! please leave feedback if you can! also this was edited at 10:55pm and i’m exhausted so there are probably mistakes-

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Your eyes scanned the street from your place on the sidewalk. The streets glistened under the streetlights with the rainwater that had fallen earlier. The cool breeze was refreshing against your skin, unlike the musty air you’d been swamped with in the party upstairs. The smoke and the presence of so many strangers had nearly left you gasping for air.

You checked your phone for any messages from your brother, eager to get as far away from the party as possible, but as soon as your phone unlocked you heard a honk from the street, which pulled your head up.

There was a black car pulled up right ahead, your heart picked up its pace when the tinted window sunk down low enough to reveal Haechan. His hair was a light brown, somehow still shiny even though you’d seen him with at least three different hair colours in the past two months. His skin was glowing too- even under the subpar car light.

“Y/n!” he had to yell to be heard over the scraping sound of the cars, “Taeil sent me to pick you up!”

You dropped your shoulders from their tensed position, pushing down your feelings and stepping forward to open the car door and get inside. The car smelled like Haechan: men’s shower gel and a faint woodsy scent.

“Where’s my brother?” you turned to him, genuine confusion curved into your brows.

“What? Am I not good enough?” Haechan asked, placing a hand on his chest and feigning offence.

You shook your head at him, used to his antics by now. He’d been best friends with your brother since preschool, always there at family gatherings and lazing around your house on most weekends.

“Well, when I asked my brother to come pick me up I sort of expected him to pick me up,” you said it slowly, matching his teasing with your own. Things with him always fell into a rhythm like this, after the initial anxiety of being around someone you had feelings for left, snarky comments bounced back and forth like a ping pong ball between the two of you. 

“Okay, fair point,” he said, starting the car, “He’s still busy with that essay. Apparently it’s due in like twenty minutes or something. So, since I’m such a good friend I offered to pick you up.”

“Haechan, before I left you were the reason he wasn’t doing any work,” you scoffed, refusing to let his ego inflate- even for a minute.

“That’s not true! He was on a break!” he whined, eyes wide at the accusation but his gaze still directed towards the road.

“For three hours?”

“Yes,” he said, matter of factly with a nod of his head, “Rest is important.”

“Whatever,” you said, “Just take me home.” 

“I actually have to do something else for Taeil, too,” he didn’t take his eyes off the road, they were glinting from the neon signs that lined the buildings on the street outside. The streetlights made the skin of his hands glow in passing, creating a hypnotic rhythm of light and dark over his skin.

“Can you not drop me off first?” you knew the answer even before you asked- he was going to make you go with him. And you were going to give in.

“Please?!” he whined again, plush bottom lip drooping in a pout, “It’s pretty far and I hate being alone!”

Sighing, you asked, “Where is it?”

“Johnny’s house…” He trailed off, expecting an outburst to come from you at the distance you’d have to drive.

You couldn’t believe you were considering this. Johnny’s house was on the other side of the city and you were already tired out from the party you’d spent only half an hour at. But, something in you wanted to stay. The thought of spending some time with someone outside your friend group seemed refreshing and the fact that it was Haechan was even more enticing.

You turned your head to look out the tinted window at the buildings passing by you in a blur, “Fine,” you sighed, “but you owe me.”

He grinned, his full cheeks jutting out further, and made a sharp turn in the opposite direction of your apartment. Your body swayed at the sudden change in direction and you held onto the side of the seat instinctually. Haechan was a good driver- but a slightly wreckless one at that.

After a few moments he turned on the radio, tossing you his phone, “Put some music on.”

Looking through his phone, you weren’t surprised at the extensive collection of music he had on his Spotify- most of the songs were new ones you hadn’t heard of before. Others were old throwback songs from the 2000’s and your mouth turned up into a smile at the sight of Shinee’s ‘Replay.’

You pressed play and leaned back in your seat, grin even bigger now. You waited for his reaction, which came in the form of a wave of laughter. 

“Oh, fuck,” he said, barely able to speak from laughter, “Remember when Lucas danced to this at your sleepover party?”

“Of course I remember that, he ruined the song for me forever,” you laughed along with him.

Your smile turned into a grimace at his next question though, “What ever happened to Lucas- actually to that whole group of friends? I never see them anymore.”

“Drifted apart,” you mumbled. You truly wished there was more to say than that. You wished you could say you tried to stay in touch when you went to university but couldn’t; or that something huge had happened that couldn’t be fixed. That wasn’t the truth, though. You hadn’t done anything- nothing that made them leave and nothing that made them stay.

Haechan sensed the tension around the topic and let the conversation fade, hoping the sense of unease would dissipate with it.

When the next song was over, Haechan came to a stop at a gas station, “Want anything?” he asked, pulling up the handbrake and taking the keys out of the ignition. The car practically fell down to the road beneath it as the power was turned off.

“I don’t have any money on me,” you raised your empty hands.

“So you don’t want any of those gross gummy bears you like? Or a soda?” he raised his perfectly shaped eyebrow at you, “I’ll buy them for you.”

“I’ll take the gummy bears if they have any,” you said gratefully, and he got out of the car and went into the shop.

You thought about your earlier conversation with Haechan- about how much you missed your friends. The way they’d joke around with you and tease you lightheartedly about anything and everything. A year ago you would have nearly exploded at the idea of being alone with Haechan at all- let alone for this long- and they would have teased you about it for weeks. Somehow though, those friendships faded. You went to a different university to them, you paid attention to your studies and spent more time at home than you ever had. The only contact you had with other people being with fellow students between lectures and at home with your brother and his friends.

“I got you the biggest packet they had,” came Haechan’s voice through the open window, “and the peach soda you like.”

You smiled at him, thankful that he’d brought you out of your thoughts and thankful for the snacks, “I could kiss you.” 

“Mm? Then by all means please do,” his signature shit eating grin was plastered on his face. 

Your cheeks heated up visibly at that, though you hoped the poor lighting in the car hid the fact. You hit him in the chest with the back of your hand and he doubled over in fake agony, the canned coffee he bought falling to the ground.

“Awh,” he groaned, continuing his act. 

“Oh please,” you said, rolling your eyes, “Just start the car, Hyuck.” 

“I can’t. My pride- it’s bruised,” he held onto his stomach and shook his head, eyes screwed shut.

Before you could stop yourself you leaned over and pressed your lips to his cold cheek in a hasty kiss.

“There,” you tried your hardest not to show your surprise at your own actions, “Better?”

He perked up, back pin straight, eyes wide and a huge smile on his face, “Very much so, yes.”

Before you could do anything, he started the car. A smirk struggled its way onto his face despite his efforts to stop it and his cheeks became a beautiful pink colour. His sudden shyness made yours deflate slightly and you felt your heart and cheeks warm at the thought of your effect on him.

“Hey,” he said suddenly after a few moments, “Hand me one of those gummies.”

He held out his hand, the skin pulled tightly over his slender, outstretched fingers. When you didn’t make a move to place one of the sweets in his hand, he made a grabbing motion with his fingers. That brought you out of your weird staring stupor and prompted you to grab a few gummy bears from the packet to place in his hand, hoping he hadn’t noticed your weird hand staring moment.

He shoved all six of the sweets into his mouth at once, face scrunching up in disgust, “These really are terrible,” his words distorted by the gummies in his mouth.

“Then why’d you ask for them?” you looked over to him, your mouth pulled into a smile and your brows furrowed at his actions. Your cheeks were starting to hurt- they always did after spending so much time with him.

“I forgot they were that bad,” when he came to a stop at a red light he shook his body as if it would rid his mouth of the flavour. 

The rest of the drive to Johnny’s house was filled with more laughter and sneaky comments thrown back and forth. There were fewer cars on the road the longer you drove and the movement of the car seemed to calm you.

In the driveway of Johnny’s parents’ house, Haechan turned to you once again, “Are you gonna come in?” 

You nodded and got out with him, you’d never actually been in Johnny’s house- since most of them still lived with their parents, Taeil’s friends usually came over to your shared apartment.

Johnny opened the door even before you got to it and ushered both of you inside, you assumed Haechan and texted him when you stopped.

“You guys have to be quiet,” he said, without even a ‘hello’, “My mom and dad are sleeping and they were in a shitty mood earlier.”

“Hey,” you asked quietly, grabbing Johnny’s attention, “Where’s the bathroom?”

“Right through that door,” he pointed behind you and you went in.

You went to the sink to wash your hands, they were sticky from the sweets you’d had in the car. Along with the sound of the water spilling into the sink, you heard Johnny and Haechan’s voices through the thin walls- so much for being quiet.

“You two finally together or something?” 

“Huh? No. Listen-”

“Dude, you’ve had a crush on them since forever, how have neither of you said anything?”

Your eyes widened at those words and you felt the blood in your face sink down to your heart. You turned off the tap and put your cold hands on your neck, before wiping them on a towel.

“Listen,” his voice was as stern as it could be, though it broke a bit at the end of the word, “Did you find Taeil’s textbook: yes or no?”

You heard a chuckle that had to be Johnny’s, “Alright I’ll go get it- by the way-”

His sentence was interrupted by you coming out of the bathroom.

“Did I interrupt something?” you asked in a tone that you hoped came off as joking. 

“I need a favour,” Johnny said, ignoring your words and leaving the room for a few seconds to find the textbook Haechan had been so adamant about getting. He came back, textbook in one hand along and a dark piece of material in the other, “Jaehyun left his hoodie here, can you get it to him, please?”

You yawned, taking the textbook when he handed it to you, “Why can’t you do it?”

“My parents won’t let me use the car after I locked the keys inside it last week,” he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment as he said it, words falling pathetically to the carpeted floor.

“And why can’t Jaehyun come get his own damn-” you were cut off by Haechan.

“Okay we’ll do it, but-” he took the black hoodie from Johnny, who was looking up at Haechan with his head still bowed. He pointed a finger at him, “-you owe me,” then pointed the same finger at you, “And I owe you.”

“Twice!” you said as he pulled you by the hand towards the front door. You both said your goodbyes to a smiling Johnny and got back in Hyuck’s car. Little raindrops had appeared on the windscreen since you’d gone inside.

“I swear after this I’ll take you home,” you smiled at him at that, letting him know it didn’t bother you. 

The car began moving again, 90’s RnB playing softly in the background and soon the rain got heavier, bulbous drops hitting the car. Jaehyun’s apartment was only a few minutes away from Johnny’s, in a highrise building lined with silver, glittering windows. 

“His parents are loaded,” said Haechan when he noticed your eyes trying to see the top of the building through the rain clouds above.

“Please tell me he’s not on the top floor,” you whined as Haechan parked the car.

He got out before you and you heard a satisfied sigh echo through the undercover parking.

“I’m so fucking good at this,” he said, hands on his hips, standing behind the car. 

You got out and shut the door, walking over skeptically to see what he was talking about. 

“Perfect,” he said, gesturing to his car in the parking space.

He was right- the car was perfectly in the centre of the two white lines. You huffed out a laugh at him and his ego, handing him the hoodie he’d apparently forgotten about, “Alright, I get it , you can park a car. Can we go inside now?”

“Hey, you’re lucky you get to witness a master operating that vehicle! Maybe observing me will help you actually pass next time,” he leaned his head over to you while he was walking, his tone was cocky and he had a sly smile on his face.

You flicked him on the forehead between the fluffy strands of hair that lay there and he yelped while you said, “Fuck off that test is rigged.” 

“First of all- not true. Second- why the fuck did you flick me?!” he yelled before you came to the automated glass door of the lobby.

In front of you stood two marble pillars in the middle of the room that twisted all the way up to the ceiling. Beyond them was a chandelier, jewels dangling over a seating area, where lush white couches stood. They looked as if no one had ever laid a hand on them on them and the plants that littered the room looked so real you had to touch one to be sure of the material. 

“You were being an ass,” you answered simply after taking in the room.

You followed Hyuck over to the elevator, the sound of your footsteps seemed to have a mind of their own, you swore you could hear them walking up the walls and across the ceiling.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, a group of people around the same age as you stampeded into the lobby and then the elevator. All of them dressed in glittering clothes and bright, shining makeup. One of them had eyelids full of pastel glitter and another had a coat made out of fluffy white feathers. 

You all crowded into the elevator, you and Haechan unfortunately squeezed right into the back corner of the metal box.

“What floor are you two headed to?” asked a man who was in the highest heels you’d ever seen in your life.

“The top floor!” Haechan basically had to throw his voice over the glittering heads of the other people.

You groaned at his words and felt the elevator start moving. When you’d asked to get picked up from a party you hadn’t expected to be shoved between Haechan and a girl with rhinestones on every inch of her dress instead. You’d left the party to get away from people, not to get pressed up against them.

You felt a tap on your shoulder and turned to the girl. “You two dating?” she asked, blue eyes lingering on Haechan’s face.

“Uh n-” you began, but Hyuck spoke over you.

“Not yet- I’m working on that,” he said smoothly and winked at you, which made your heart begin to push against your chest rather violently. 

“Too bad,” she said as the doors to the elevator slide open to the fourth floor, “you’re cute.” She winked at you and walked out with the rest of the group, their heels and accessories clinking down the hallway. 

You stood in shock from having been flirted with twice in the span of thirty seconds, not realising that you were still pressed against Haechan. 

“Y/n~” he said in a sing-song voice, dragging your eyes away from the spot you’d been staring at.

“Sorry!” you said a bit too loudly, moving to dart off him. Hyuck, however, held you to his side, only stepping forward to press the button for the top floor again with his index finger, holding Jaehyun’s now crinkled hoodie with his other fingers.

“Just needed to press the button again- it resets sometimes,” he said, stepping back into his place, “You okay?”

“Were you being serious? About ‘working on’ dating me?” the words came out quickly. Your voice was smaller than you thought it would be and it carried an air of surprise- which it shouldn’t have, since you’d heard him and Johnny talking earlier, but it felt more real now.

His brown eyes glided across your face, he seemed to be exploring every option he could in his mind. Lips pulled close to his teeth and eyes wide, before he leaned in and kissed you. 

He tasted like the canned coffee he’d had and mint and the second you tasted that combination on his lips you couldn’t pull away. He placed his hands on your waist and pulled you flush against him, your arms flung over his shoulders. The kiss heated up fast, his hands gripping at you to try to pull you even closer, your fingers threading through his hair, shaky sighs and satisfied hums filling the elevator. 

Just as you both pulled away for air, the doors opened on the floor seven levels down from where Jaehyun’s apartment was. An old couple appeared immediately and stepped into the elevator. You took a step to the side to get away from Hyuck, but stood on the hoodie Haechan had apparently dropped. You picked it up, holding it in front of you with both hands.

“I told you it was the wrong floor,” said the woman, closing her eyes in annoyance.

You tried your best to look presentable as they bickered, straightening your shirt and wiping at your mouth with the back of your hand. Hyuck did the same, combing his hands through his hair and adjusting his jeans. Once the reality of the situation sunk in for the both of you, it became hard to even look at each other without laughing. You had to pretend to yawn in order to hide your smile and Haechan pulled his lips between his teeth to literally bite his own smile back. 

Once the couple got out on their floor (still one below the top), you and Hyuck fell into laughter, with him literally falling to the floor on hands and knees. You leaned against the mirrored wall of the elevator and laughed in silent breaths and funny hiccoughing sounds. Soon, the door opened and you gathered yourself as much as you could before you helped Haechan up off the floor. Halfway down the rows of apartment doors you and Haechan had calmed down, the mix of embarrassment, tension and perhaps a bit of tiredness having died down. 

The hallway was carpeted and filled with the muffled sound of music coming from one of the residents on the floor. Your heart nearly dropped when Haechan stopped in front of the door from which you were sure the music was coming. 

He pulled out his phone and, not letting go of your hand which he had been holding onto since you helped him up, texted Jaehyun. A few seconds later, the door opened to Jaehyun, who seemed half asleep as he leaned on the doorframe. You were glad the mood of the apartment seemed to be the opposite of a houseparty. 

“Yeah?” he blinked slowly, eyes slightly red.

Haechan snorted at Jaehyun’s state- because he was most definitely in one- “Johnny asked us to bring you this,” he pointed to the hoodie- which was now completely crinkled and had a dirt mark on it- which you held out to him.

Jaehyun took the hoodie, not even looking at it. He looked between the two of you, his gaze falling down to your intertwined hands, “Fuck you, Haechan,” he said, head tilting back in annoyance, “Now I owe Johnny ₩10,000.”

“What?!” Haechan’s jaw dropped

“I have a bet with Johnny,” he said, yawning halfway through and leaning his head on the doorframe, “And I just lost.”

“How long have you had this bet?!” Haechan sounded genuinely betrayed.

“About 15 minutes,” he said nonchalantly, moving his hair out of his face, only for it to fall right back where it was.

That had you confused, “What was the bet?”

“That you two would get your shit together by the time you got here,” Hyuck scoffed and looked away in disbelief, tongue in his cheek, “Oh and I think Taeil owes Taeyong money now, too.”

Right then, your phone chimed with a message from the gambling brother in question and you opened it while the two boys argued about Hyuck himself not being in on any of the bets.

the youngest: hey, can u guys bring milk? its finished :/

you: sighs alright 

you: btw apparently you owe taeyong money now xx :)

You locked your phone before you could see his reaction and slid it back into your pocket. You turned to Hyuck again and sighed, “Taeil needs milk,” you stated incredulously.

He raised his eyebrows, “Okay now he owes both of us. And this isn’t over- next time there’s a bet I want in,” he said frowning at the older boy like a little kid.

The two of you said goodbye to Jaehyun, who kicked the door closed behind him, and returned to the car once again.

“Were we both really that obvious?” you asked as you clipped in your seatbelt.

“I don’t know about you but I was really good at hiding it,” his smug- and obviously sarcastic- tone made you cackle.

“Yeah that’s why Johnny knew you’ve liked me ‘since forever,’” you said, quoting the words you’d heard through the bathroom wall. 

His eyes widened so much you thought they’d come tumbling out of their sockets, “You heard that?” his gaze was switching rapidly between you and the road now.

You smirked at him and nodded simply.

“By the way,” Haechan’s voice was a bit croaky now, after all it was nearing 3am, “You will go out with me right? Like tomorrow night?” 

“Of course,you owe me two actually,” you didn’t have the energy to tease him further, your eyelids were practically dragging themselves across your eyes.

The last thing you saw before you fell asleep was Haechan’s flushed cheeks and the giant smile on his face.

i just remembered you asked for a tag o-O @infnteen sorry for the late one!

if anyone else wants to be tagged in my works please lmk!:)

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