#it's always about the 'difference' of having a non-white parent or the conflict with having a white parent

[quatregats]

Had a conversation about being perceived as South Asian with my cousin and her kids and I'm still rotating it around in my head because like. Did everyone suddenly forget that I am also half white. Like did you forget that I do not have two South Asian parents

[riding-the-sunset-bird]

I was in a Baxter mood today so I went swimming in GB Patch's blog for all the Baxter facts:

General

His personality, at least defined by GB Patch, is that he's sheltered and out-of-touch without being elitist or self-centered. He's preppy/posh, quite sociable, and hates conflict, but likes to go against what's expected of him. He grows out of being such a rich kid trust fund baby by Step 4.

His parents are bigots. He's the unlucky one in a sea of characters with supportive parents.

He has a distant French origin.

His birthday is the day his DLC came out, meaning May 19th.

He's 5'11" (180cm) in Step 4 (this was apparently reconfirmed on the Our Life Discord as well).

His natural hair color - a dark dusty gray that he hates - is uncommon to be born with (as opposed to aged into) in the Our Life universe.

He's right-handed.

Childhood

His dream job as a child was to get into investments, having a strong portfolio with diverse assets (he does not fully know what that means at the time).

He's a late bloomer.

Baxter's crush on Qiu from Our Life 2 is at its peak when he's 12 and 13 (13 being his age in Our Life 2's Step 1), but he's moving on by 14 (when he can potentially meet the MC in Soiree).

He met Qiu at their local dance hall (as they both took lessons there, just in different forms of dance) and also met Ren/Renee (Darren in Our Life 2's Step 1) through Qiu, as the two had known each other since they were very young.

He wasn't thrown off by his crush on Qiu despite Qiu being a boy, as Qiu was popular and it seemed "unfair" to Baxter not to be able to like him. He puts more thought into it as he grows older and what it means, deciding that he'll feel however he'll feel and not worry about what's expected of him. In Soiree, the MC can notice this if they're male or non-binary, as Baxter isn't bothered by dancing with someone who isn't female.

Abilities (or Lack Thereof)

He's a weak swimmer. He can swim fine in pools but would probably struggle in the ocean.

He can sing.

He's experienced in multiple types of dance (though his favorite is the waltz).

Step 3 Baxter is a lazy, bad cook who doesn't even want to bother with cooking, but Step 4 Baxter takes an interest in trying more fancy/restaurant-style food and is able to do so.

Likes/Dislikes

He likes things being clean, but isn't always motivated enough to maintain that.

He liked video games when he was a kid, leaning towards action/adventure ones, though doesn't anymore in his late teens and beyond. He would play life-based games (such as the Sims series) with the MC if asked, however, either playing innocent like he didn't know what he was doing while messing around with the characters or being blatantly obvious about it.

He doesn't like dancing in clubs/discos. He would try it once because he enjoys trying different types of dance, but would only go regularly if he had a friend/partner who liked going to such places.

He would absolutely approve of an MC who chooses to only wear black and white.

Romantic Inclinations

Beyond his crush on Qiu (who he never confessed to), Baxter dates people, but never for long or seriously.

The reason he backs out of asking out the MC if they say that he's their first crush (unless the MC is referring to his Soiree self) is that he feels they have idealized feelings for him and he'd disappoint them. He essentially panics, not wanting to get the MC's hopes up and especially on their very first feelings of romance.

The best way to romance him is to Not Let Him Escape.

In terms of how Baxter will/won't date in the future between Step 3 and 4 if he had a fling with the MC, answers range from him not dating anyone if the player intent was that they were both genuinely in love, but would otherwise to him trying to move on with others but the flings become even more surface level than before to the point where he's simply going through the motions. He ultimately hits a breaking point (whether he dated the MC or not) and ends up improving due to the MC's return in his life and/or support from other people such as Xavier.

When it comes to what he's attracted to in another person, he likes seeing nail polish, false lashes/heavy mascara/naturally long eyelashes, and full suits (especially if they're expertly tailored).

His love language in terms of receiving is Quality Time, but in terms of giving, he will happily adapt to whatever the MC wants.

Clothing Choices

When it comes to Step 4 Baxter's personal dress code, he's always meeting/formal ready (even when not working) unless he's doing anything athletic, in which case the button-downs get a break.

- Likewise, his closet is basically all button-downs and fancy suits with a few exceptions including clothes suited for the cold.

Assorted

Him skinny-dipping didn't happen in Golden Grove, and the Now & Forever main cast are not his friends by then.

He immediately finds the MC and Cove appealing (not necessarily crushing on them) at the start of Step 3 as "beautiful beach strangers."

He'd be flattered to hear from an MC that they love his laugh/find it charming.

He says "hallelujah" because he's pretentious.

He doesn't know French, but does occasionally drop a French word he knows during Step 3 to "add to his formal flair." His Step 4 self considers it embarrassing in hindsight.

While he started dyeing his hair black at 14, he didn't start adding white into the mix until he was 18. His Step 3 hair was likely something he only had for a year, at which point he changed it up with different attempts at black and white. He switched back to plain black after graduating college, feeling like he had to be "a serious grown up."

During the wedding in Baxter's Step 4, he will have Jude send along a vegan cupcake to the MC if they're vegan.

Semi-revealed during one of his mornings with the MC in Step 4, he has a multi-step daily skincare routine.

His Future

He has no preference over who he'd prefer to be the one to propose to the other in his relationship with the MC.

He would absolutely want to plan his own wedding (whether for or with the MC, depending on whether they want to be involved). He would not want another planner included.

He would forbid his parents from attending his wedding, but invite his childhood friends. Cove, Terry, and Miranda would also go.

He doesn't have a preference when it comes to last names during a wedding. He's just in awe that he's marrying someone at all.

He might consider having facial hair at some point in his life.

When it comes to having kids, he doesn't have any particular age he'd prefer to have them and is more of a "when it feels right" kind of guy. In terms of the number of kids, none is his default but he'd prefer to have two if the MC wants them, as he finds the relationship between the MC and Liz to be lovely and was personally lonely as an only child.

🍋 (below are asks that might be considered risqué - especially going to the posts themselves on some - but I wanted to include them for the sake of having all the information in one place; know that me and my prudish nature pushed through this for the people who want it and I hope you appreciate it! >:o) 🍋

This one definitely goes without saying due to being a love interest in a game where the MC can be she/they/he even down to being intersex, but Baxter is pansexual.

Baxter isn't good at being sexually active beyond being with an MC who wants that. He tries to bond with others but either fails to have his interest reciprocated due to being too forward or backtracks if he senses that someone is actually into him. His relationships are short/inconsistent for that reason.

He would never sleep with the MC during Step 3. He's already planning on leaving and wouldn't risk souring the relationship at any point even if the MC would want it. He wants company more than he wants sex and would not want to be remembered as the guy who slept with the MC and then just left without contacting them again.

Between chests and backsides, Baxter prefers the latter.

Baxter is a top (though is flexible on the matter), is into BDSM, and "kind of" has a sir kink.

[rizatouchesthewalls]

Retracing the Footsteps of Those Who Got Lost in The Snow

so desperate for content they got me writing my own material

pjsekai card ass title 💀

stream arctic monkeys

cw: hurt/comfort, gn reader, lots of cuddling damn, implied family issues so true, so self indulgent that it’s insane

Deleting soon

New York always looks different painted in white—it sort of catches you off guard every time. Not in a bad way, but a more or less hopeful way. The world is still spinning and you’re still living. Somehow.

So after months of having little to no tension with your family mid-winter, you were sort of shocked at the sudden conflict that arose. You didn’t want to ruin an otherwise perfect winter—so you did what you always did whenever such things happened. Run into the always open arms of the Morales’.

“I’m sorry for bothering you all again,” You whispered. You were always on the quieter side but whenever fights went down you lost your voice far easier than any other time.

“Nonsense! You know us, we’re always going to be like a second family to you.” Ms. Rio said. She never failed to make you guilty, not because ever purposely did so—but because her kindness was overwhelming. You felt as if you could never repay that.

“Yes, we always have a home for you here,” Mile’s dad gave a rare smile, not that he didn’t smile, it was just more heartfelt than the ones he showed when he was joking or laughing. All these observations you knew over the years because you depended on them often. It had been easier when you were younger though, mostly only coming over because you were playing with Miles. You balled one of your hands up into a fist trying to fight that overwhelming nostalgia.

“(Name)? Are you alright? I’m going to call Miles to come dow—,”

“N-no sir. —Go up there myself… th-a-ank you.” You fought back tears and made your way to Mile’s room, avoiding his parent’s concerned gaze.

A knock on a door. Just a simple and quiet knock that takes you back that far. You can almost see your younger self racing around with glee, being reckless. When you didn’t lie about being loud and extroverted just to please a crowd; it felt so long ago but it was just a few years ago.

“Dad I’m not hungry!”

“A-ah! It’s not—!”

The door swung open before you could finish and you were quickly wrapped into a tight hug. You couldn’t help melt into it. It was so warm and comfortable—you could feel your heart pounding. You did your best to cling on to the wall that was holding back the hot tears that were basically begging to be released, but you kept it in anyway.

“It’s pretty snowy outside, huh? I’m drawing a picture of it—actually.” He always did his best to distract you. And who were you not to give in?

You nodded, signifying that you wanted to see. You entered his room and immediately felt calmed down by the familiar atmosphere. The tranquility of it was dear to you, but so ways a utter messiness of it that made it feel like home. The windows had those same yellow curtains draped over them, but in between the cracks you could see a winter scene outside.

Hopping onto the bed, you wrapped yourself with the blankets. Miles sat next to you, bringing you into his arms. He kissed your forehead and flipped through the pages of the art book, reaching a page with a sketch of Mile’s home from the exterior view. “Alright, now give me those art skills.” He nudged you.

Alright, yeah, you did art every once in a while. You didn’t do it as much though. Not after…

“Dunno… em…phasize the frost in the window. They wouldn’t look that normal.”

“See! You’re good at art without even trying.” He started to add shading to the windows, making sure to leave snowflakes on top of them.

“Th…” You didn’t want to stutter but at this point it felt like at any moment you were going to overflow. So you stayed silent. It engulfed the situation uncomfortably. In between those non-existent lines layers of trauma was stacked in your words. And it was separating you and Miles. You knew it was.

A tune interrupted the silence. It was so soft and quiet that if the two of you had been speaking neither would notice. You gradually made your way to the window and looked out down onto the street. There it was—a double decker bus decked out with Christmas decorations and playing to the tune of Jingle Bell Rock. You stared at it in awe with child-like wonder. Then the feeling of nostalgia hit you like a truck.

You remember begging your parents to take you on one of those busses, so short that you thought the top of those busses might as well be the empire skate building. That if you reached high enough you could touch the stars. Did you ever end up going on one?

You already know the tears are falling down your face. They are just as silent as the room was before. And you can feel the comfort of the Miles’ hands wiping them away, and just for that night, your fears and terrors were wiped away too.

And somehow someone found you in the middle of a blizzard.

[foundtherightwords]

Sunlight Through the Mist - Chapter 9

Pairing: Hellcheer (Eddie Munson x Chrissy Cunningham) Regency AU

Summary: Having witnessed the broken marriage of his parents, Edward Munson, Baron Hurstfield, always regards love with a cynical eye. When circumstances compel him to marry and produce an heir, he quickly proposes to Christine Conyngham, a debutante whose reputation is hanging by a threat after an ill-fated affair. All Edward wants is to save his family estate, but as beautiful, fragile Christine finds her way into his wary heart, their marriage of convenience may become something neither of them ever expects - a union of love.  

Warnings: angst, past domestic violence, suicide attempt, smut (non-explicit)

Chapter warnings: angst, some brief smut (non-explicit)

Chapter word count: 4.1k

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8

Chapter 9

On a frosty day in December, Edward and Christine were in the parlor discussing their Christmas plans when a letter from Mrs. Conyngham arrived, claiming that she was very ill and summoning them to London. Edward groaned inwardly. He knew there was no love lost between Christine and her mother, and this illness was more likely Mrs. Conyngham's histrionics rather than anything serious. Christine's conflicted face as she looked up from the letter told him that although she shared his sentiments, this was also her mother, the only family she had. When his father was dying, he'd never sent for Edward, and the bastard could rot in Hell for all Edward cared, while Christine clearly felt differently. So Edward swallowed his annoyance and prepared for their trip.

As the carriage rolled southward, snow started to fall, dusting the ground and the skeletal trees in a white blanket, turning everything pristine and bringing a stark beauty to an otherwise unremarkable scene. Edward knew the snow would not last, and he tried to enjoy it when he could. He didn't want to go to London. For some reason, he couldn't shake a strange sense of foreboding that grew the closer they were to London. Selfishly, he was afraid that all the glamor of London would remind Christine of how drab and lonely Yorkshire was, and she would want to stay. She may even run into Joshua Craven, who had recently become the Duke of Hauxwell following his father's death. Edward trusted Christine with all his heart, but an encounter with Hauxwell would doubtless be painful to her, and that, in turn, would pain him, and he would like to avoid it if possible.

"What are you thinking about?" Christine asked, leaning against his shoulder as she noticed he'd gone quiet and was neglecting his book. It had been three months now since they consummated their marriage, yet Edward had never ceased to delight in her casual affectionate gestures, proof of how comfortable she felt around him and how much she'd come to trust him.

"You wouldn't want to stay in London for Christmas, would you?"

"Oh, no," she said firmly. "As soon as I make certain my mother is not seriously ill, we can leave. I'm looking forward to spending Christmas in Yorkshire." She kissed him to show that she really meant it.

The coaching inn just outside of Peterborough, where they stopped for the night, was the same one they had stayed at when they made the trip from London to Yorkshire nine months ago. Edward felt absurdly smug when he told the landlord they only required a single room, and caught Christine's amused smile behind her gloves.

Still, the ominous feeling refused to go away. The next morning, when he woke and found her side of the bed empty, he bolted up in fear that Christine might have left. But she was there, sitting at the dressing table, brushing her hair and looking back at him with a soft "Good morning."

Edward went over to her and buried his face in her neck, breathing in her scent. "You've promised not to get out of bed before I wake," he said petulantly.

"I'm sorry, but I was afraid we would be late."

"Late for what? We're not catching a coach. London is not going anywhere. Let Wheeler and the horses rest for a while longer." He spun her around. "We could rest a while longer as well. Think of it as our wedding journey."

She laughed. "And what would we be doing for our wedding journey in Peterborough, pray?"

"I can think of plenty of things we can do," he said, seeking her lips.

She returned his kiss but broke away all too soon for his liking. "I already wrote to my mother to say that we were arriving today," she said, sobering up. "If we were late, we would never hear the end of it."

Edward sighed. He certainly didn't want to make this visit more uncomfortable than necessary. As Christine reached for the bell rope, however, he involuntarily stayed her hand.

"But I was going to ask if they have a maid that can help me dress," she protested. Since they did not plan to stay in London for long, Christine had decided not to bring her lady's maid with her, and the only servant accompanying them was young Will, recently elevated to the position of a footman.

"You don't need a maid for that," Edward said, taking up the brush. "I can be your maid." Anything to prolong their departure.

Christine grinned. "How would you even know what to do?"

"I think you'll find that I'm a fast learner."

The grin lingered on her face, but she sat still while he brushed out her hair until it crackled. She then let him pass her the hairpins and directed him to hold a little hand mirror behind her, while she braided and twisted her hair up into a simple knot. Edward gazed at her slender fingers deftly moving in and out of the golden strands, at her nape reflected in the big mirror of the dressing table, the different angles showing him her beauty in ways he hadn't noticed before. Christine looked up and caught his eyes staring at her in the mirror. Both blushed, like those early days when they were still tiptoeing around each other, but this time, they held their gazes.

This was followed by the lacing of her stays, then he snatched the stockings out of her hands and knelt down in front of her.

"What?" he asked, catching her little smile as she watched him draw a stocking over her toes and calf and wrap the garter around her thigh, slowly and carefully, almost reverently. "Am I not doing this right?"

"No, nothing of the sort. I was simply thinking of the last time we were here."

"Oh God." He remembered it all too well, how tense, how distant they had been with each other, and how much had changed. He finished putting the other stocking on but remained knelt between her legs. "Can you ever forgive me for all those horrible months?"

She glanced down at his hands caressing her thighs. "Keep doing that, and we shall see."

His heart beating faster, he leaned down to place a kiss on the bit of skin between the top of her stocking and her chemise, skin softer and silkier than the silk stocking itself. He heard her breath hitch, but she said nothing, only lifted the hem of her chemise a little higher.

It was some time before Lord and Lady Hurstfield emerged from their room.

***

As predicted, not only Mrs. Conyngham's illness was not serious—Edward doubted if she had really been ill at all—but she even had time to plan a reception for that evening as well. Christine gave Edward a rather dismayed look when her mother announced it. Mrs. Conyngham said it was to celebrate their marriage, as they had left for Yorkshire in such a hurry that there had been no time for it after the wedding, but Edward suspected that she was only looking to brag to her friends. Still, now that they were in her house, it would be the height of discourtesy for them to immediately turn around and leave, so they begrudgingly stayed for the reception.

Edward's horrible childhood memories came back more strongly than ever as Mrs. Conyngham displayed him to her guests like some exotic animal, simpering about his ancient family name and his estate, all the things she'd criticized before. He endured it all with a smile and even managed to keep a civil tongue in his head. For Christine, he was willing to endure anything.

But as it turned out, there was something he couldn't endure.

The reception was in full swing when the butler, a horrible snob by the name of Owens, announced, "The Duke of Hauxwell, ma'am." A hush fell on the drawing room at the arrival of such an illustrious guest, and Mrs. Conyngham's bosom puffed up in a way to show this was whom she'd really planned the reception for.

Edward's sense of foreboding finally made sense. He looked to Christine, seeking her reaction. She had gone deathly pale the moment Hauxwell's name was announced, but her eyes were fixed on the door with the same hard, blazing fire she'd had the night she ran away, the fire that had given her such a fierce, almost frightening beauty. That eager, almost hungry stare pierced Edward's heart, sharp as a pin. She had never looked at him like that.

As Hauxwell stepped into the room, looking just as refined and charming and handsome as he had been a year ago, Christine went still, like a rabbit transfixed by the hypnotizing stare of a serpent. Edward was filled with a jealousy so burning and violent that it shocked even himself. He had always thought himself a peaceful man, but at that moment, he was happy to introduce his fist to Hauxwell's conceited face and ruin that perfect Grecian profile.

Christine didn't notice anything. She had eyes for no one else but Hauxwell.

Unable to look at her any longer, afraid he was going to disgrace himself if he stayed, Edward stormed off into the little boudoir next to the drawing room. The servants, all focusing on the reception, had neglected to light a fire there, and a single, untrimmed candle stood on the mantelpiece, but Edward didn't mind. The freezing air cooled his head; the dark cleared his thoughts. He collapsed into an armchair in the corner of the room and tried to remember their wonderful morning together—had it only been that morning?—but even that memory failed to brighten up his spirit in the face of the looming darkness that was the Duke of Hauxwell. He told himself that Christine was his wife; nothing Hauxwell did could ever change that in the eye of the law and the Church. That thought didn't make him feel any better. If anything, it made him feel worse, the notion that Christine was only forced to stay with him. He didn't want to force her into anything.

Edward didn't know how long he'd sat in that dark room, brooding, when he heard the door open with a swishing of fabric and the familiar scent of lavender. So Christine had come to look for him. His heart rejoicing, he was about to get to his feet and call out to her, when the door opened again and Hauxwell walked in behind her. Edward sank back down into the depth of the chair, careful not to make a sound. From his position, he couldn't see them, but he could hear everything. Clearly, they didn't know he was in the room.

"My darling, my love," he heard Hauxwell murmur. "Have you missed me?"

There was a series of soft thumps, like Christine was hitting or slapping Hauxwell. "Missed you! Is that all you could think to ask?" she said, and the pain in her voice could break Edward's heart. "Have you any idea how miserable I've been? Did you know I almost died because of you?"

The sound of kissing made Edward ball his hands into fists, but with an enormous effort, he stayed in the chair. "Oh my love, if I could have done things differently, don't you think I would? I had no choice. You know that. But I'm here now, and I can make it up to you."

"How?"

"I love you, and will always love you. Our parting was just temporary. Now our love can resume."

Christine was quiet for a while. Edward fervently hoped that she would be offended and say that she was a married woman now, but when she next spoke, her words rent his heart in two. "An affair, you mean? Am I to be your mistress?" She didn't sound particularly eager, but she didn't sound offended either. She sounded almost... dazed.

"Well, yes, if you must put a label on it," Hauxwell answered with such indifference that Edward felt indignant on Christine's behalf. Why, the bastard had no care that he would ruin her!

"What about your wife?"

"You don't have to concern yourself with her."

"What about my husband?" Edward tried to slow his breathing, almost certain that they could hear him, but his heart was beating so heavily that he couldn't draw a deep breath. Christine didn't seem at all perturbed when she mentioned him. "He knows about us," she added. Edward had never spoken of Hauxwell to her, but she must have known he had seen the letter in her room.

"That makes it more convenient, doesn't it?" Edward could hear the self-satisfied smile in Hauxwell's voice.

"He won't leave Yorkshire." For some reason, that simple statement cut him to the quick. So she knew him well enough to correctly guess his action, yet not enough to know that he loved her, not enough to turn down Hauxwell's insulting offer.

"I can offer him a position in court or in parliament. He'd be a fool to turn it down. That way he shall have to come down to London more regularly, and we can see each other."

Another pause. Then Christine's voice came up, "You have thought everything through, haven't you?" There was a hint of acerbity in that question, and it gave Edward a wild hope.

"I know this is too sudden," Hauxwell said. "You don't have to give me an answer now. Take some time to think about it." By some ironic coincidence, he was saying the same thing Edward had said to Christine when he proposed to her. "But know that I love you, and will always love you." Then there was the sound of another kiss, and the door was closed.

Edward waited until he was sure Hauxwell was gone. He would have waited for Christine to leave as well, but it seemed she insisted on staying. Well, if they must talk it out, then better to do it sooner than later.

"That was quite a touching reunion," he said, rising from the chair. He didn't mean to be so theatrical about it or for his words to come out so roughly, but he was still reeling so much from the scene he'd just witnessed that he couldn't quite control his voice.

Christine's face reddened, then paled, then reddened again.

"It's not what you think," she said quickly. Her trite response disappointed him. He was expecting something more genuine from her.  

"I don't know what to think."

"I was caught by surprise when he arrived, that was all. This was my mother's doing. She never thinks you are good enough for me..."

"She didn't push you into his arms, did she?"

Christine came over and squeezed his cold, limp hand in her equally cold fingers. "Edward, please. Let us go home. We were so happy there..."

Edward couldn't imagine going back to Hurstfield and pretending none of this had happened. "All right, let's say we go home," he said. "Then what? What would you do if he arrived at Hurstfield and asked you to run away with him? Would you have the strength to say no?"

Christine flinched at his unrelenting questions. "I..." she began, but could say no more.

"I saw your face when he walked in. I saw you with him. I'd seen what happened the last time he wrote to you. The power he has over you." He paused, trying to calm himself. He would not let her know how hurt he was. He would not have her pity him. Then, suddenly, what he must do became clear to him, frightfully, heartbreakingly clear. "I can't compete with that," he concluded. "I shan't."

"What... what are you saying?"

"If you want him, you're welcome to him," he said.

Christine's face went pale again and became harsh, marble-like, making her look as she had during the early days of their marriage. "Are you asking me for a formal separation then?" she asked, lifting her chin up. "Like the Prince and Princess of Wales?"

"Plenty of people have affairs without bothering with a separation," Edward said, gritting his teeth to keep himself from shouting.

"Oh yes, I forgot, you will lose your inheritance if we separate."

He hadn't thought she would be capable of such a cruel jab, but it hurt a lot less compared to her calm contemplation to begin an affair with Hauxwell. He'd rather have her hate him than betray him. "If you're worried about scandals, then rest assured, I shall behave impeccably," he said.

"So you're willing to let me cuckold you?"

Yes, let others laugh at him for being a cuckold. He would not be cruel to his wife and trap her in a loveless marriage. Loveless... on her side, at least. He had thought his love alone would be enough. He'd thought wrong. A coldness descended upon him, quite different from the cold air of the room, and froze him to his core. He wondered if he would ever feel anything warm again.

"I'm not letting you do anything. I am not your master."

"But you are my husband, and I need you to act like it!" she said, tears running down her face.

Why was she crying? Why couldn't she see that he was letting her take matters into her own hands, decide her own life?

"By doing what?" he snapped. "Challenge Hauxwell to a duel? What would that achieve? Would that convince you to stay?" She said nothing. Her silence exasperated him. "Fine, this is me acting as your husband then: I only want the truth from you, Christine. Do you still love him?"

Please, say no, he silently begged. Or even yes. I don't care. Say anything true, anything that comes from your mind and your heart, not because your mother or Hauxwell or society or even I wish it. But she remained silent, her tear-filled eyes fixed on him with a questioning, beseeching look that tore at his heart yet bewildered him at the same time, for he could not understand what she wanted from him, and didn't want to humble himself by asking.

Turning away, Edward got to his feet. "I told you, I can't make you do anything. The choice is yours." With those parting words, he left the room.

***

He went into the dressing room by Christine's bed-chamber. The sofa that had been put there for his use on their wedding night still remained, yet so much had changed. This time, he was not reeling from shame and guilt, but anger. Despite his attempt to be calm and cool to Christine, anger was threatening to consume him in its white heat.

The most distressing realization for him was that Christine was not only blind to Hauxwell's dishonor, but apparently complicit in it as well. How could she not see how detestable Hauxwell's actions were, discarding her in favor of a rich wife and only now coming back to her for whatever reason? How could she sit there and calmly discuss the terms of an affair with him? And worst still, she refused to choose between him and Hauxwell. He would rather that she had chosen Hauxwell than having to live with this tormenting uncertainty. Yes, it would have broken him, but at least then he would know and could move on. But to Hauxwell's advances and his own pleas, Christine had only responded with the same confused, almost frightened look. How could she not know her own mind? Did she need more time? Did she want to choose Hauxwell but was afraid of the consequences? Edward tried putting himself in her place, but, having loved no one before her and unable to imagine loving anyone else but her, he could not understand the agony of a heart torn between two loves. He only saw her lack of response as evidence of hypocrisy, and was devastated by it. He thought he knew her better than that.

As the hours went slowly by, Edward's rage was gradually replaced by heartbreaking acceptance. He loved Christine too much to condemn her. If she truly loved Hauxwell, then there must be something worth loving in the man. And—here Edward's ever-present honesty forced him to admit it—there may be some truth in Hauxwell's feelings as well; Christine couldn't have been so deeply in love with him if they had been false.

He could no longer be angry at Hauxwell. Edward himself had married Christine for money—though it hadn't been her money—so he could hardly censure Hauxwell for doing something similar. Besides, with the Prince of Wales setting an example, men like Hauxwell saw nothing immoral in straying from their marital vows and may even think that the cuckolded husbands ought to be flattered that their wives received such attention. And Christine, who had been brought up in that world, wouldn't see anything wrong in it either.

He couldn't even be angry at Christine for letting Hauxwell seduce her. Of course she would, when Hauxwell was all debonair and extravagant in his declarations of love, while Edward couldn't even tell her that he loved her.

What was it that Christine had said? She'd needed him to act like a husband. But how should a husband act? His only model was his father, and that had been such a bad example that all Edward knew was to act the complete opposite of how he thought his father would act. He could only imagine what his father would have done if he'd caught his mother in a similar situation...

Very well. If Christine couldn't choose, then he would choose for her. He would return to Hurstfield Hall, leaving her free to go to Hauxwell if she so wished.

At the thought of Hurstfield Hall, however, Edward's heart broke all over again. He couldn't picture the familiar hall without Christine in it. Every room in the house, every path in the garden, even every corner of the village and the surrounding hills had been filled with memories of her, of all the things they'd done together. It would hurt terribly to return, knowing that she was not there and was likely never to be there again. No, he couldn't go home, not when it had lost its sanctuary and comfort.

Where could he go? He had to leave, to put her out of his mind for a while, or he would go mad. But where?

Then he remembered—his friends, Walton and Beaumont, had successfully secured funding for their trip to Eastern Europe and had written to him about their plan to spend the winter in Hungary. He could join them. He could go to France and travel overland from there, or take a river boat down the Danube to reach Budapest, weather permitting, of course. It would be a long and arduous journey, but that was exactly what he wanted.

He went to the servants' quarter—the reception was over, but the servants were still busy cleaning up—and found Will. "We're leaving early tomorrow," he told the boy. "Tell Wheeler to get the carriage ready."

"Sir?" Will asked, confused.

"And pack my things." Edward turned to go, but stopped. "On second thoughts, I can do that myself. Find me a list of packet boats leaving Dover."

"I—I don't—"

"Ask one of the servants, for God's sake! Must I tell you everything?"

Seeing an unaccustomed scowl of anger on Edward's face, Will ducked his head, mumbled, "Yes, sir," and ran off.

Edward returned to the dressing room, and for a few minutes, busied himself with preparing for the journey—he briefly wondered if it would be better to delay for a few days until he could send for his things from Hurstfield, but decided that it would make little difference. He just wanted to get away as soon as possible. At least he'd had the foresight to bring some banknotes and checks with him. He could always write to his bank for more, once he arrived in France.

Some noises from the bedroom made him pause, afraid that Christine may wish to come in and talk, but the door remained shut. He spent the rest of the night listening to the sound of her pacing on the other side of the door, while at the same time trying not to think of her.

Chapter 10 (last chapter)

A/N: This chapter is the second hardest for me to write (after Chapter 4). I didn't want Christine to appear too bad, but at the same time, I wanted Edward's doubts to be at least justified. Hopefully, it worked. And we're on the home stretch now! Only one chapter to go!

[richincolor]

Everyone, please welcome Charlene Allen to Rich in Color! We're excited to have her here to talk about her novel, PLAY THE GAME, which came out earlier this year:

Play the Game by Charlene Allen Katherine Tegan Books

In the game of life, sometimes other people hold all the controls. Or so it seems to VZ. Four months have passed since his best friend Ed was killed by a white man in a Brooklyn parking lot.

When Singer, the man who killed Ed, is found dead in the same spot where Ed was murdered, all signs point to Jack, VZ’s other best friend, as the prime suspect.

VZ’s determined to complete the video game Ed never finished and figure out who actually killed Singer. With help from Diamond, the girl he’s crushing on at work, VZ falls into Ed’s quirky gameiverse. As the police close in on Jack, the game starts to uncover details that could lead to the truth about the murder.

Can VZ honor Ed and help Jack before it’s too late?

And now, on to the interview:

Thank you for joining us, Charlene! Please take a moment to introduce yourself.

Hey! I’m Charlene Allen. In addition to being a writer, I’m a mom to an awesome son and a quirky dog, I’m a life-partner, and I’m an activist working to end mass incarceration. Play the Game is my debut novel.

In PLAY THE GAME, VZ and his friendships with Ed and Jack are at the heart of what drives the plot. Can you tell us a little more about the three of them?

VZ, Ed and Jack are the kind of friends that grow up together because their parents are close, so they are always at each other’s houses. They’re more like cousins than friends. They know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, most embarrassing haircuts. Everything! And they’re all very different from each other. Jack’s all about the swagger, VZ ‘s into keeping it mellow, and Ed’s a proud gamer geek.

What other characters play important roles in PLAY THE GAME? What can you tell us about them?

The two other main characters in Play the Game are Chela and Diamond. Chela is VZ’s best school buddy, so a friend that exists entirely outside the triangle he, Ed and Jack form. Chela helps VZ with the mystery he has to solve to keep Jack out of trouble. But she doesn’t coddle him. When he gets in his feelings about Ed and Jack, she calls him on it and helps him see things more objectively. Diamond is VZ’s love interest. She’s taken, in a relationship with a guy they both work with, but there’s real romantic tension between her and VZ and neither one of them is able to ignore it.

How have your experiences as a lawyer and advocate influenced your writing for PLAY THE GAME?

My experience as a lawyer helped me see up close and personally how ineffective and inequitable our criminal legal system can be. That led me to do work to try to transform the system and find alternative approaches to conflict and harm; approaches that exist outside the system. All of that features in Play the Game, as VZ begins to understand how the system works, and takes on the question of what he and his friends can do to find a better way.

Restorative justice is an important part of PLAY THE GAME. What are some common misconceptions people have about restorative justice?

Great question and one that’s tough to answer quickly. I think “RJ” is becoming a buzz term and with that comes a lot of misconceptions. Often, people think of a restorative approach as anything that involves talking or is non-punitive. So, a school might have a restorative approach that involves all the parties in a situation having a conversation, but then if everything isn’t quickly resolved they resort to suspension or other forms of punishment. In that example, “RJ” is being used as a step inside of a larger existing system which, to me, defeats the purpose. To adopt a restorative approach is to involve community and engage with methods of accountability that don’t exist in most systems. It’s a culture shift, so it requires time and dedication to implement.

What's something you're particularly proud of in PLAY THE GAME?

I love that I was able to weave a lot of different elements together; the actual game that readers get to play in the book, the friendship story and mystery, the love story, and the RJ. It was my goal to write a book in which tough things happen, but the book is still a fun read because it captures the spirit of young people who lean into their friendships, abandon themselves to the throes of first love, and live their way into healing and self-discovery.

Now that PLAY THE GAME is in readers' hands, what is up next for you?

I’m finishing my next YA novel which should come out in the fall of ‘24. I’m excited because it’s completely different from Play the Game, but I think equally adventurous. It’s about a girl who’s digging up family secrets and figuring out where she belongs in the world.

And to close us out, what young adult books by BIPOC authors are you looking forward to reading this year?

I’ve just started The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School by Sonora Reyes, which is a lot of fun and I’m looking forward to finishing. I’m also looking forward to Ain’t Burned All the Bright by Jason Reynolds and Jayson Griffin. And, though I’m not sure if it’s technically YA, I’m excited to read Notes from a Young Black Chef by Kwame Onwuachi.

Charlene Allen works with community organizations to heal trauma and fight injustice, especially the beast called mass incarceration. She received her MFA from The New School, her JD from Northeastern University, and her BA from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst. She lives in Brooklyn with her fabulous family and their very silly dog. Play the Game is her debut novel. You can visit her at www.charleneallen.com.

[arsen-the-vamp]

7, 8, and 14 for the pride asks :)

7. Are you the "token" queer person in your family?

Not really, tbh. In my father's family, there is my scene queen, pan & poly cousin, Kai (She/they). Then, on my mother's side, I have my bisexual cousin Daniel (He/him). Both are parents! My mom and dad are both closeted bisexuals. I only know this bcs they keep pictures of their exes and claim they were "no longer like that" since they married the opposite gender. (Both are divorced now!)

8. Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender:

I am two sides of a reflection, the one looking in and the one looking back. Both are two halves that dance in harmony to one another, never breaking their trance when togther. There will always be a reflection, whether in darkness or in light, and it can appear as anything within the moment that it appears to one's eye. It is ever changing, but constantly there, even as two halves to each other. Each a separate being of substance, never quite touching, but coexisting as a joined pair. They each have a separate role on either side of the glass, but when they come together, they are at peace.

14. How do you think other factors like neurodivergency or upbringing have impacted your identity?

Personally, I think that my neurodivergency allows me to be able to understand myself more and feel as though I am right to be how I am. It feels natural and just fits. I can go into depth about how I feel the way I do, and it makes sense to me and other neurodivergents. As for non neurodivergents, or even non cultural people, they don't understand, because it isn't simple and in terms, that they understand that white society as a whole has given us through the centuries as a basis. I say white society because that is who took over the globe at some point, which caused our ideals to align with theirs. You didn't see the singular ideals like that in other cultures, so it did come from predominately white society. This point comes into play with my upbringing as well! I was raised by a mixed First Nations mother and a mixed race, Southern father. My father was raised to be generally Christian by a Baptist mother and a Pentecostal father. My mother was raised out of church, but with Catholic and Baptist influence, as well as influence by cultural beliefs of her tribe and kin. Both of them raised me with interlapping beliefs and cultures, but since my father inforced that he was over his household, I was made to go to church with him. All of this growing up influenced me in different ways. Half of which were conflicting or against how I felt as a person. I eventually made peace with myself and my beliefs, which neither of my parents agree with entirely, but still suport me nonetheless as their child. Honestly, all of it has made me more nonwaivering in my identity.

Apologies if I sounded a bit rambly and confusing! 💖

[genyukandojo]

Empowering Your Child: How Martial Arts Build Confidence and Self-Defense Skills

In today’s fast-paced and often unpredictable world, parents constantly seek ways to instill confidence and resilience in their children. Martial arts have long been recognized as an effective tool for fostering self-discipline, focus, and self-defense skills. With numerous martial arts schools in New York City and martial arts schools in Queens, NY, children can access world-class training that helps them grow into confident, empowered individuals.

The Role of Martial Arts in Building Confidence

Confidence is a crucial trait that influences a child's ability to navigate life’s challenges. Here’s how martial arts help develop this essential quality:

1. Setting and Achieving Goals

Martial arts training follows a structured progression system, typically marked by belt ranks. As children advance from white belt to higher levels, they experience the satisfaction of achievement. This process reinforces the importance of setting goals, working diligently, and experiencing success, thereby boosting self-esteem.

2. Developing Discipline and Focus

Martial arts demand concentration and self-control. In every session, children learn to pay attention to their instructors, practice techniques repeatedly, and refine their skills. This discipline extends beyond the dojo, improving their ability to focus on academics and other activities.

3. Overcoming Challenges and Building Resilience

Training in martial arts is not always easy. Students face setbacks, whether it's mastering a difficult technique or sparring with a more experienced partner. Overcoming these challenges teaches perseverance, a vital trait that translates into other areas of life, such as academics and social interactions.

4. Improving Physical Fitness and Self-Image

A physically active lifestyle contributes to a child’s self-confidence. Martial arts provide an excellent way to stay fit, improve coordination, and develop strength. As children see their physical abilities grow, their self-perception becomes more positive.

Self-Defense Skills: Equipping Children for Safety

Self-defense is one of the most practical benefits of martial arts. In today’s world, where bullying and personal safety are concerns for many parents, enrolling children in martial arts schools in New York City can provide them with essential self-defense skills.

1. Awareness and Prevention

Martial arts teach children to be aware of their surroundings and recognize potential threats. Situational awareness can help them avoid dangerous situations before they escalate.

2. Conflict Resolution Skills

Many martial arts styles emphasize de-escalation techniques and non-violent conflict resolution. Children learn that physical confrontation is a last resort and that confidence in their abilities often deters aggression.

3. Practical Self-Defense Techniques

From learning how to escape holds to defending against strikes, martial arts equip children with techniques they can use to protect themselves. These skills are particularly beneficial in helping children feel secure in their daily lives.

4. Building Mental Toughness

Martial arts training is not just about physical self-defense; it also cultivates mental resilience. Children develop the confidence to stand up for themselves and make decisions under pressure.

Finding the Right Martial Arts School

Choosing the right martial arts school is essential to ensuring that children receive high-quality instruction. With so many options available, including martial arts schools in Queens, NY, parents should consider the following factors:

1. Qualified Instructors

Look for schools with experienced, certified instructors who specialize in working with children. The right teacher can make all the difference in fostering a positive learning environment.

2. A Welcoming and Safe Environment

The best martial arts schools prioritize safety and inclusivity. Visit the school, observe a class, and assess whether the atmosphere is supportive and encouraging.

3. Diverse Training Programs

Some schools offer specialized programs that cater to different needs, such as self-defense classes, competition training, or character development programs.

4. Location and Convenience

Consider the location and class schedule to ensure that it aligns with your family’s routine. There are excellent options in martial arts Queens, NY, making it easy to find a program that fits.

Martial Arts for the Entire Family

While children benefit significantly from martial arts, adults can also experience numerous advantages. Many martial arts NYC adults programs focus on fitness, self-defense, and stress relief, making it a great family activity.

Conclusion

Martial arts provide children with far more than physical skills; they offer a foundation for confidence, discipline, and resilience. By enrolling in martial arts schools in New York City or martial arts schools in Queens, NY, parents can empower their children with life-changing benefits. Whether for self-defense, personal growth, or family bonding, martial arts remain one of the most effective ways to prepare children for success in all aspects of life.

[buckee]

yuletide 2024 letter

Dear Yuletide writer,

Happy Yuletide! Thanks for being my writer this year! <3 More under the cut:

Hi Yuletide writer, thank you so much for your patience! I haven't had access to my personal computer for a bit, and I've tried uploading this from my phone, but I don't think it's been visible (?) until now. Anyways, apologies for the technical issues!

General likes: Dead dove content, darkfic content (any & all, I have no qualms with anything re: non-con, incest, underage, violence), NSFW stories, romantic comedies, character studies, sympathetic villains, unlikeable female characters, fraught relationships (platonic, romantic, or sexual), stories where two characters are isolated from others (e.g. quarantined, stranded on an island, etc), lovers to enemies, bittersweet endings, queer homoerotic toxic best friendships, one-sided love, fleshed-out backstories, villain/corruption arcs, power imbalances, age gaps, canon divergence AUs.

General dislikes: Stories about weddings (if the plot revolves around this topic), kidfic, single parent AUs, soulmate AUs, heavy-handedness, SFW stories, slice-of-life, coffee shop AUs, maternal abuse (if the plot revolves around this).

FANDOMS + potential prompts

Challengers (Art, Patrick, Tashi):

A post-canon fic exploring Tashi coaching Patrick while Art retires to be with Lily would be interesting–how does Patrick integrate himself into that family? How awkward and painful is it to discuss the years that went by, and what happened in-between? Do they have rules for intimacy?

Patrick and Art exploring a romantic & sexual relationship while Tashi mostly removes herself from that part of their dynamic would be really appealing–she’s part of their throuple, but in a remote way. I’ve always seen her as kind of their��coach? And also, that she’s aromantic, but not asexual. I think Art mourning a part of his relationship with his wife but gaining a new partner is really interesting. Art/Patrick have the most interesting dynamic to me, ESPECIALLY in the context of the throuple (no Tashi erasure), because Tashi has never seemed intensely invested in romance or commitment, even if she is involved with the both of them. And since she’s a parent and someone who could have a career comeback, this would be cool to see!

AU where Patrick & Art are Gen Z/zoomers who come of age in a time when gay marriage became legalized in the USA/queerness has a different connotation than it did even in the early 2000s. What would their relationship look like if it had started a lot earlier? If they had been involved in the queer community as a couple/in their young adulthood? And what would their relationship look like once they met Tashi?

The Acolyte (Qimir, Mae):

I really want to see a tense, psychosexual exploration of their dynamic while Mae was training under him. It’s fascinating that he becomes fixated on her twin afterwards–they’re identical, which means he had to find her face superficially attractive at the very least. Wouldn’t mind it getting darker on this end, especially with crossing boundaries in a mentor/mentee dynamic. How did they meet? Why is she so interested in his good opinion? Why does she stick around if she is afraid of him?

Push (Nick, Cassie)

Nick and Cassie blurring the lines between brother/sister as she grows older is always fascinating. Would love to see them be codependent and inappropriate and odd with one another, without realizing why until it’s too late. How do they handle being lovers? How does Nick deal with the conflict of self-hatred and desire? Does Cassie ever realize that no matter how much she loves him, he still groomed her? Do they ever try to make it work, white-picket-fence style? Do they live perpetually on the run? Do they grow tired of each other? Do they try to separate at all?

Alternatively, their romantic/sexual relationship starts at the age they both are in canon. Feel free to get dark here, so long as Nick remains horrified and conflicted and resistant to what he wants to do. Cassie can be coerced into increasingly inappropriate behavior, or she can instigate out of a childish crush. So long as it isn’t a vaudevillian, mustache-twirling event on Nick’s end, I’m interested in all ways this could go down!

Thank you so much! I'm so excited, and appreciate your time. :)

[elenajohansenreads]

Books I Read in 2023

#111 - This Is How It Always Is, by Laurie Frankel

Rating: 3.5/5 stars

Most of the fiction I've read with trans/nb narratives, so far, have been YA novels with a trans/nb main character. This was a huge departure from those because it's adult, it's "literary" (whatever that means these days,) and it's an ensemble piece about the family surrounding the child nonbinary character, who isn't the protagonist.

What I felt this story did best was show that different people can have the best intentions for someone and still end up with wildly different viewpoints and ideas for how things should be. The parents, Rosie and Penn, both clearly loved their youngest child and had strongly opposing views on the necessity and timing of medical intervention. As the eldest brother, Roo was most upset by a cross-country move that disrupted his own life, and at one point in the story had so much trouble communicating his viewpoint that he came across as phobic, despite being supportive of Claude/Poppy at home--he often represented the "but this is how it actually is in school" attitude that their parents needed to hear and frequently brought him into conflict with them. The other brothers were more easygoing about their acceptance and actually didn't factor much into the story, aside from a string of confessions from each brother about how they might have been the one to spill Claude/Poppy's secret, when it came out.

The family dynamics were as messy and complicated as you would expect from a group so large, even with good-intentioned parents and accepting siblings. The beauty of this novel is actually showing that a supportive family doesn't automatically solve every issue a trans/nb child has growing up with their identity. (It helps, no one's debating that, I hope.)

The issues I had with this novel mostly come from its ending. I can see how the narrative structure leads up to and supports a drastic change in scenery, and I understand why the author chose Thailand, a society internationally known for accepting nonbinary gender expression in a way that Western cultures simply don't at this point. Getting into the why and how is outside the scope of this review, but that's part of the problem--it's also outside the scope of the novel, in the time that arc of the story is allotted. It smacks of privileged white for Rosie and Claude/Poppy to spend part of a year in Thailand "helping" by working at a rural clinic (Rosie) and the local school (C/P), spend a few days in Bangkok and another few in Chiang Mai, and go home with life-changing epiphanies and in Claude/Poppy's case, religion. The character becoming Buddhist was a single declarative sentence capping off a somewhat torturous passage describing different sculptural representations of the Buddha.

Not to be a pedant, but I actually took an Asian Art History class in college and thus have studied regional variations in Buddha sculpture, and this was such a thin exploration of the variety, bent to suit the theme of the novel in an obvious way that I found distasteful. Of course, the meaning of art is often in the viewing, and thus I can't say this character wouldn't react to Buddha sculpture as they did, but it does essentially condense and repackage an important religious figure's iconography to serve a character not born to that religion or culture, which doesn't sit right with me.

And the very ending, the non-ending, doesn't settle anything, because making decisions about Claude/Poppy's identity and future is emphatically not the point, not the epiphany Rosie came to in Thailand, which is of the "middle way." It's utterly valid for a person to defy the gender binary by being both, choosing their own gender expression that isn't fully one or the other. But narratively, it felt weak to end the book by coming to the conclusions that it's too soon to make the medical decisions Rosie and Penn were at odds over, that those decision will have to be faced as a team, and that "now we're a happy family again because two of us went into the wilderness and came back with ourselves sorted out."

This novel started out strong and has a lot of perspective to offer on parenting, on family, on trans-ness; but it leaps off a cliff into triteness and exoticism at the end.

[infamousbrad]

"What I don't like at all, in general, is that we look at the so-called 'sin of the flesh' with a magnifying glass," said Francis. "If you exploited workers, if you lied or cheated, it didn't matter, and instead relevant were the sins below the waist."

Last September, the Public Religion Research Institute released a study showing a 40 year uninterrupted downward trend in the percentage of Americans who consider themselves Christian at all, predicting that they will be outnumbered by non-specific theists by some time around 2060, that non-specific theists will be the actual majority of Americans by 2100. With the obvious caveat, "if the 40 year trend continues for the next 75 years."

And as I've said, when I dug into the cross-tabs of that study, the two trends driving it were that Christianity in America has entirely lost its ability to evangelize people raised non-specific theist or otherwise secular (it used to be great at it, it gets worse every year) and that increasing numbers of Christian parents are afraid or ashamed to raise their kids as Christian (used to be universal, has declined every year for 40 years).

I came to the conclusion that, frankly, I should be so lucky. Raised non-specific theist myself, currently Pagan, nothing would thrill me more than to see non-specific theism become the dominant faith in the US, but I think it's far more likely that before we get to that point, there will be a revival of liberal Christianity. Oh, not soon, there's not enough demand for it, but my study of history suggests to me that the theologians already among us are not studying, publishing, and preaching in vain when they call for a return to the principles of ...

Christian modernism: all truth is God's truth, if science or archaeology or history appear to contradict the Bible, it's your interpretation of the Bible that's wrong

ecumenicalism: to minimize conflict within the Body of Christ, the church should stake out no mandatory positions on issues except where the Bible is unambiguous and loud

and the social gospel: Jesus had very little to say about sexual sin, but he was unambiguous and loud saying that if your faith does not prompt you to sacrifice your own wealth or comfort on behalf of the poor, the sick, and the oppressed, your faith is in the wrong Jesus.

The religious right, both in white evangelical churches and in most of northern-hemisphere Catholicism, was formed in reaction to those principles. From the 1930s through the 1970s, right-wing theologians engaged in a decades long campaign to bury and overlook the clear wording of the Scripture, instead stringing together a bunch of out-of-context disconnected sentence fragments to reassure right wingers in general, and wealthy right-wing donors in particular, that God hates all the same people that they do, and loves them for hating those people, and that when science or history contradicts their prejudices, the Bible says they are right and the secular scholars are wrong.

So even though on some level I hope he fails, and northern-hemisphere Catholicism continues to fade away to nearly nothing, the amateur historian and trained theologian in me knows that if the Catholic Church has any hope of staying relevant, it'll listen to Pope Francis when he says things like this (from the article):

"Those American groups of which you speak, so closed, are isolating themselves. And instead of living by doctrine, by the true doctrine that always develops and bears fruit, they live by ideologies," he added. "But when you abandon doctrine in life to replace it with an ideology, you have lost, you have lost as in war." 

During his time in Portugal for World Youth Day — a major festival of Catholic young people that takes place every few years in a different city around the globe — the pope repeatedly preached a message that everyone has a home in the Catholic Church. 

When asked by a Jesuit who works with university students how this applies to gay students who are not living celibately, but are still active in the church, the pope did not demur. 

"The door is open to everyone, everyone has their own space in the church," said Francis. "How will each person live it? We help people live so that they can occupy that place with maturity, and this applies to all kinds of people."

"What I don't like at all, in general, is that we look at the so-called 'sin of the flesh' with a magnifying glass," said Francis. "If you exploited workers, if you lied or cheated, it didn't matter, and instead relevant were the sins below the waist."

(And, it goes without saying, if the curia replaces him with another fascist-adjacent pope when he dies, they'll be writing the church's epitaph.)

[sunmmon8689]

FACTORS THAT BREAK MARRIAGE

There are two viruses that destroy the marriage very seriously.

- The first is different characters which cause frequent conflicts. When in love, people think they can get through them, but when getting married, they know it is not easy.

There was a girl who loved a hot-tempered guy. Her father discouraged her, but she said: “It’s okay, dad. I will correct him little by little.” Entering into marriage, the man didn’t fix his manners even a bit.

Furthermore, he was more and more aggressive. The woman felt bitterness. When they were in love, she met him every a few days so that she could bear his temper and at that time, it was not serious since he was trying to win her heart. When being married, his anger showed all the time that she couldn’t stand.

Or a wife liked red, while her husband liked white. Thus, when the wife bought something, she chose red ones, such as a red television, a red table. When seeing those things, the husband immediately broke and threw them away.

- The second is non-forgiveness and grumbling.

Except for those who do not get married and practice religion then become enlightened, all people make mistakes. So if you don’t forgive but always grumble at your partner about his/her faults and tell others about them, they won’t bear it, and your marriage broke down very quickly because of your grumbling/blame.

Although you must always help each other be good, still have to forgive their mistakes because criticism and blame will break the marriage.

There are nearly ten arrows that aim at your marriage.

First is pressure from the families of two sides.

The parents of the wife or husband are very important. So if they have different ideas of something, then the couple very dubious.

For example, the wife’s side wants their grandchildren to attend an international school, while the husband’s side does not because they believe international schools do not teach patriotism.

Next is financial issues.

Being too poor or too rich affects the happiness of marriage. How can one say, “ I love you like clouds love the wind, the moon love water,” when they know that they have no food for tomorrow. Romantic love hardly exists when you have financial problems. Generally, to eat is before to love. Financial issues with affect your happiness shortly.

- Another arrow is the education of your children.

If you educate your children well, you will earn a blessing which helps you be happy, and your marriage be stable. If you are bad at teaching your children, besides the matter of sin or blessing, it is sure that the corrupt children will make you sad, anxious, miserable, so how can your family be happy? However, it is not easy to teach children, that’s why there is a saying: “Many a good father has but a bad son.”

- Your friends are the fourth factor that affects your marriage and family.

So we see in this life there will be no absolute happiness and love because everyone has a lot of concerns.

Collected.

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Hello! How are you doing today? I was wondering if you could maybe do a part two of ‘Safe behind Glass’ of the reader re-connecting with the others in the Dream smp who were worried about them/searching for them and maybe the reader going to visit the bench trio in the prison to say final goodbyes, kinda like Tommy tried to do to Dream, and when they leave the prison the day ends with them ready to continue life being surrounded with people that care about them. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to though! And I apologize if this doesn’t make sense!

Here it is! After pretty much two months of being dead, and not responding to asks (Sorry anons. Mental Health comes first.), I have been temporarily revived! Now! This revival is temporary as I have finally gotten into college, but this means my writing will be little to non-existent.

Anyway, sorry for rambling! Here is Safe Behind Glass part two! The prison visiting will be a fic, in the next chapter, this is basically the 'healing' chapter.

Part One

Free from the Glass (Yandere!Plat!C!Bench Trio x GN!Reader)

You weren't exactly sure what was happening... It was loud and bright and there were too many people talking at once.

Warning signs were going off in your head nonstop to the point where it was sending you into a panic.

Run into the trees. Remember? They kidnapped you.

Hide back in the room. It's safe and quiet.

Run to the trio. They only want to protect you.

Practically gasping for air, you ducked out of the way of a trident that was aimed at Tubbo, only to cry out as lightning hit where it landed.

Thunder roared in your ears and rain pelted down onto your shaking form, as you dodged out of the way of the grabbing hands trying to pull you to their respective side.

"(Y/n)! We only want what's safe for you! That's why to did it! Remember?" Tommy cried out in your direction as he threw a splash potion towards his enemies.

"They kidnapped you, (Y/n)! They took you away from your life, your friends! They don't want what's best for you, they want you all to themselves!" Sam called, catching his trident as it returned to him.

Despite their best efforts, you remained frozen stiff off to the side, clenching the totem and Rapple tightly as the thunderstorm continued to rage on in the sky.

Honestly, you don't know when the fighting stopped or the rain stopped hammering down on your (s/t) skin, that was slightly sunburnt after so long of not being exposed to sunlight.

Hands slowly placed themselves on your shoulders and you looked up to see Captain Puffy...

You had missed her fluffy hair... Half brown and half white, filled with rainbow dyes that were running from being in the rain...

Her skin was bruised and slightly irritated from splash potions most likely... But her eyes were so soft and loving...

It was different than the way Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo looked at you... More loving, but in... a parental way?

"(Y/n)..." She whispered, smiling softly, "It's been so long... I'm glad you're alive... Come on... Let's get you cleaned up."

The first few days passed like a blur.

Too much sun, yet too dark... Too loud, but deafeningly silent...

For the first while, you wanted nothing to do with anyone else's existence.

But you also didn't want to even think about being alone...

Eventually, you started to become more and more comfortable with people other than Ranboo, Tubbo and Tommy...

But that didn't mean that you didn't miss them. At first.

Philza had practically sobbed when he first saw you, but you didn't know if it was relief or grief.

I mean, he gained one of his 'children' back, and also a baby Piglin that Ranboo and Tubbo could no longer take care of, but at the same time lost another three. He was extremely conflicted but made sure to give you as much affection as possible.

But he was definitely happy to walk around the SMP, enjoy new drinks/foods, stargaze/cloud watch- whatever you wanted, he would happily do it.

Techno too, albeit awkward, was very happy you were alive as well.

He suggested you joined the Syndicate if you were feeling unsafe, but he definitely didn't force you. Your mind was still fragile, he understood. He was happy with whatever answer you gave.

When you had asked Techno and Phil to trade armour, they were very confused, and it took Philza a moment to understand that it was stressful for you to be wearing the same armour that the Yandere Trio helped make before they kidnapped you.

Puffy was happy to help give you therapy, but she was also constantly in the prison, desperately trying to get answers out of the trio and what drove them to kidnap someone.

Often, when you were starting to do better, Puffy would come to you and go over some of the things that happened while you were in the 'vault' as you called it.

Of course Puffy wouldn't ask you about the more touchy subjects, like when Tubbo would withhold food from you while you were being difficult, or when Ranboo would give you the silent treatment, and also when Tommy would lash out in bursts of rage.

Sam would always walk up and ask how you were if he saw you when he was gathering materials.

He scared you a bit at first, which he understood, but after quite a bit of time, you began to relax around him.

He has definitely offered to give you a channelling trident like his own.

But it was also Sam... who told you that the Trio was constantly begging to see you, using every manipulative trick in the book.

At first, Phil and Puffy were extremely against it. And so were you. They kidnapped you! You wanted nothing to do with them!

But then Philza mentioned that it would give you closure...

And you needed that...

Gods... You needed that so bad...

And now here you were, standing between Philza and Puffy, both clad in fully enchanted netherite armour...

Staring up at the entrance of the obsidian palace of a prison...

To be continued...

[the-resurrection-3d]

nerves-nebula

I read it and liked it, but I cannot for the life of me remember if this question is answered cuz I liked the ghosts & horror & drama too much to pay attention to that I guess. Let us know if u figure it out 🫡

So far, it feels like it's saying yes and no simultaneously. Yes, as Silas mentions having no real physical dysphoria aside from knowing how other people limit him because they read him as a woman. And no, or at least "no, not how you're using it," because Silas's autism and abusive family means he always would have experienced this profound disconnect between who he is and who his family/society wants him to be. Obviously the abuse is directly influenced by Silas's birth sex, but it also happens so early on, before one would have a "real" concept of one's gender, and encompasses more than just gender, since White smartly includes non-social symptoms of autism like stimming and sensory issues.

Silas develops this conflict between his inner and outer selves because he has been literally told, every single day as long as he can remember, that the way he experiences the world is wrong. So, yes, society probably does in this case create transness, but it's also just literally, canonically true that Silas is experiencing the world differently from those around him.*

I don't know if I'm explaining this well, but to me it feels like it's also asking if the distinction even really matters, since none of us can opt-out of Being Raised In A Society -- and when you're abused so young, there's no "before" period in your life to return to, as your being is formed AROUND the trauma. Or in this case, constant accumulation of micro-traumas from being in a society that hates you with parents that also openly hate you.

Further, as Silas's brother points out, in the case of James Barry, if his transness had been merely a "fuck you" to society, he would've easily revealed it on his deathbed and not literally have taken the secret to his grave.

Again, not sure if that makes sense, but it's what I'm thinking now.

*Makes me think about the allegorical potential of the ghost-seeing stuff as a stand-in for autism. (even though Silas is canonically autistic still).. hmm. Will think on this.

Finally reading The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White, aka my first explicitly trans YA novel is MANY years, and I find it very interesting how directly it's addressing the question of whether trans-masculinity is truly an innate feeling or whether it's created by wanting to escape patriarchal oppression, as many a transphobe is wont to claim. I'm only 70 pages in and the plot has only now just started (although the main character accidentally got a guy stabbed and then had to go digging in his guts to sew it up), so I hope it will expand more on how Silas actually defines his manhood.

[sunflowerdigs]

My Mid-Season Thoughts on Lucas and Erica

I started writing up a general critique of the season so far, but it ended up being a rant about Lucas and Erica, so I'm posting that part on it's own. This is also an explanation of why I don't feel bad loving Billy as a character while also being black and hoping Lucas finally gets used appropriately (lol, idk why I don't give up on that).

As usual, Lucas doesn't have a storyline that makes much sense with his character, since he has basically been reduced to Max's boyfriend, where the whole point of him is caring about her no matter how shitty she is to him. Don't get me wrong, there's definitely room in Hollywood for a trope reversal like that, but doing it with a black guy and a white girl isn't a reversal, it's just reinforcing the racist idea that black characters are only as relevant as they are helpful to moving the stories of white characters forward. Lucas wants to be popular? Since when? Since they needed a way to give Mike that conflict? They could have made a really meaningful statement about the basketball court being one of the only places where black men felt respected and loved in the 80's (and, honestly, today) and woven that into Lucas's story, maybe given him a more compelling reason to be pulling away from his white friends. Because black kids in almost all-white small towns have valid reasons for doing that in high school, particularly in the 80's. They also could have integrated Lucas's parents and relatively peaceful, upper middle class homelife into his conflict with Max, shown that the class difference between them was more keenly felt than ever now that she lives in a trailer park. Like...is it really so expensive to consistently bring on actors to show us that Lucas has a family like all of the white kids do, that he isn't just this little black boy who shows up out of nowhere to help out the white protagonists and then vanishes? Couldn't we have seen his parents at the basketball game (like we would have seen Dustin's or Mike's or Will's or even Eleven's) cheering for him? I know the Duffers have been roundly criticized for this oversight, and it seems like, rather than remedy it, they're just doubling down on the racism. Lucas has no family but his white peers, while his white peers, meanwhile, have meaningful relationships with decently fleshed-out parental figures. Ok, whatever.

This is also why I can't take claims about people violently hating Billy for his racism very seriously. The show is racist in the way that it treats Lucas. And, fwiw, it's also racist in the way that it treats Erica. She talks way too tough for her age. It feels like they wanted to introduce a sassy, tough-talking black woman stereotype but didn't want to deal with black female sexuality on a mostly-white show (have to round her out as a character so one of the white protagonists could actually find her sexy? No way!), so they shoved a black woman into the body of a child (very inappropriate), so they could get the easy, uncomplicated laughs. Think about it - we've seen Eleven at Erica's age, and she had gone through many more horrible things. Was she as cynical or world-weary? Does it really make sense that Erica's characterization is so much more informed by those traits than that of a girl who has actually killed people and been involved in government research?

In addition, because white men are intimidated by black men (in the sense that men are always more intimidated by other men than they are women and then the racial component is added on top), there's often this tendency in Hollywood to promote "strong" black female characters at the expense of black male characters. Think of the sassy, loud black woman character who constantly emasculates her black husband/boyfriend/son with her cruel wit in ways that white female characters simply would never be allowed to emasculate white male characters. White male creators will back this characterization up with a deliberately non-intersectional version of feminism so that they can act like what they're doing is woke. But typically (and this is true of Stranger Things so far), there isn't any actual interest in developing the black female character or understanding her on an emotional level (in part because this would mean acknowledging the complexity of the role that the black male character likely plays in her life, which would mean acknowledging the basic humanity of both black characters, which white men don't want to do), which belies any claim about feminism. I see shades of this in Erica and Lucas' relationship and I really don't love it.

Anyway, I never hear a peep about any of these issues out of people who claim to be oh so concerned about Billy's racism. I'm not even talking about meta, I'm talking about just basic curiosity about how black fans feel about these two characters and why and what can be done to help. But no, it's always just some virtue-signaling crap about "you have to hate Billy because he's racist" and then silence on any issue that would denote an actual understanding of racism or sense of caring about it. As a black fan, I decided a long time ago just not to take Stranger Things seriously on any storyline pertaining to race because they weren't really interested in exploring that angle of anything well or in any depth. When I stack up the value of simply dismissing Billy over some tacked-on, shoddy, paint-by-numbers level acknowledgement of "oh yeah, racism existed in the 80's and it was Bad" vs appreciating the ways in which his character is an excellent deconstruction of white hegemonic toxic masculinity and its effects on sensitive young boys and the ways in which they relate to the world, it's no contest - Billy's characterization stands out as much, much more valuable and interesting than some flat, blanket rejection of everything about him based on a principal that the creators aren't interested in and don't care about.

Maybe all of this will change in the next 3 episodes, idk. But I'm not holding my breath.

[papipopsicle]

AFTERTASTE PART SEVEN

Pairing: Archie Andrews X Reader

Summary: In which two best friends since childhood test whether sex and friendship can co-exist without causing conflict. Including OC's Flick and Cherry, a bisexual and lesbian in a sapphic relationship who are best friends of Y/N.

Song: Dream Boy by Waterparks

Warnings: swearing

Words: 2.1K

MASTERLIST

feedback is always appreciated

Y/F and Y/M Robins were far from perfect parents. Y/F had the mental age of a toddler at times, and being an estate agent who always has to go the extra mile- he often wasn't home when his wife needed him the most. Y/M, on the other end of things, had been a stay at home mum until Y/N turned 16 last summer, and now she helped with all the administrative work for Mayor McCoy. She was a maternal creature which, coupled with her brilliant sarcasm, made for some explosive conversations. The two met on the first day of university and got married a week after the last.

When Y/M first found out she was pregnant with little Y/S Robins, the two realised they wanted a quiet bubble of a town to raise their children and grow up with them. But it wasn't until their second daughter was about to turn seven until they found their forever home in the quaint town of Riverdale. Ten years passing before their eyes, and the picturesque place didn't seen all that anymore.

Jason Blossom's death had nothing to do with the short gunshot sounding over the waves of Sweetwater River, the noise which woke Y/N from her sweet unmemorable dreams every few nights. The summer days rolled into early August without anyone caring, Y/N spending most of them at Cheryl's side listening intently to her past adventures with her brother. Betty threw herself into an internship at a publication house; Flick and Cherry had volunteered at a summer camp, and Archie was helping his dad out more and more with constructions job.

Although it hadn't been the start to the relationship Y/N had hoped for- the nervous giggles and hand holding, short and sweet kisses on late night walks followed by poetry worthy cuddling. There was a magnificent silver lining as Archie's muscles gained definition, and he suited the sweaty builder look far too well.

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y/n Humph!

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"Earth to my gorgeous queen? Y/N/N?" Cheryl quizzed her friend, who currently resided at the poolside of Thornehill Manor. Her mind was off on a glorious tangent about her rendezvous in the kitchen at two in the morning. Fixing herself a glass of water, when Archie slips his hand into her pyjama shorts, his other around her mouth muffling her needy moans.

The red headed beauty shoved her y/h/c friend playfully, warm skin sweaty under her pale touch. Y/N blinked innocently and sent her an apologetic smile, "What?"

"I asked if you've thought about dating anyone else since Clayton?" The fiery ginger girl enquired with her usual upbeat tone.

Cheryl knew she had a unique quality about her which made it almost impossible for Y/N to lie to her face. The y/h/c girl scrunched up her nose, hiding the smile the idea of Archie Andrews brought to her face. 'Yes. We started off as fuck buddies but never actually fucked. Then I drunkenly asked him to be my boyfriend, now a month later I think we may genuinely work out.'

"Maybe." Y/N bit her bottom lip, listening to her friend's squeal as she squeezed her sun tanned arm.

"I knew it! You have this euphoric glow you only get when someone else makes you climax." The redhead affirmed confidently, watching the Robins girl's eyes bug out before hitting her arm, "Y/N/N, you know your secret's safe with me."

"Fine." She sighed and took a sip of her fruity cocktail, "It started off as just fooling around, honestly I just needed to let off some steam after everything. I knew he was into the kinds of things I was, I mean he used to tease me about it non stop. And it was good, so good I stopped being a pussy and asked him to be my boyfriend."

"Holy freaking hell!" The Blossom girl grinned with excitement, "Dare I ask, who is it?"

Y/N deadpanned at her friend, "Guess."

"Please don't tell me it's that muscular oaf Reggie, he's pretty but there's not exactly much going on upstairs." Cheryl tapped her temples and rolled her eyes at the thought.

"Nope."

The ginger thought for a moment, consulting her liquid courage and splashing her feet around the waters edge, "It's Archie."

All it took was a side-eyed glance at the y/h/c girl's blooming rosy cheeks to know she definitely wasn't wrong. Y/N severely lacked the ability to lie, even if her tone held conviction, her features were far too expressive and told the truth all on their own. It's not like they were hiding it from anyone, but the past four weeks had gone far too quickly without any moments to spare for the world around them. They slept together each night, the majority of that time not actually spent sleeping, but they hadn't been given the chance yet to explore more romantic avenues.

"It's fucking Archie Andrews- you're fucking Archie Andrews and don't you dare deny it." Cheryl gawked in her gorgeous white and nude bikini, watching as her friend lay back against the hot marble slabs which encased the large pool with the largest grin adorning her plump lips.

"We haven't had sex yet, so technically you aren't completely correct." Y/N winked but carried on before the girl exploded with a hundred questions and could never be turned off, "Trust me, I want to, and I'm sure he does too. But you know, it's his first time, I want it to be perfect for him."

"Y/N/N, you really love him, don't you?" Cheryl gagged to begin with, but she found it sweet in truth. She wanted someone to hold, who would hold her right back just as tight for no other reason than needing to.

Y/N sat back up and paddled her feet, "You have no idea, Cher."

Arch 🧡

That new post should be illegal

Tiger 💛

Ooo

I like this reaction

Maybe I should post more

Like this one

Cheryl pushed me in the pool

And I may have had a drink

Or three

Arch 🧡

Well that's sexy

I swear nobody looks good like that how on earth

You're a goddess

But also

How's she holding up?

Tiger 💛

🥺😇

Broken

But she's strong yk

You coming over for dinner?

Arch 🧡

Yeah Y/D invited my dad too

Need me to pick you up from Cheryl's?

Tiger 💛

Awe cute we love a bromance, and it's all good my mommas coming now anyways :))

Hours had elapsed far too fast and soon the summer heat simmered into cool waves of wind brushing over sun kissed skin. Cheryl's arms were clasped around the blonde's shoulders in a tight embrace.

"Thank you so much, Y/N/N, I don't know what I'd do without you!" The Blossom girl professed with sparkling eyes and a brilliant smile.

Y/N beamed up at her, fingers carding through her damp y/h/c hair as she looked over her shoulder to see her mum pulling into the driveway, "You don't need to thank me, Cher, friends look after each other. Message me if you need me, okay?"

Cheryl promised she would and the two teen girls hugged goodbye, with Y/N soon heading home- listening to her mother gossip about Hal and Alice's screaming match last night, Y/N loved her inability to keep her mouth shut sometimes.

"Mom," The y/h/c stopped her mid sentence and received a side eyed glance in response, "I need to tell you something and you're totally not allowed to freak out while you're driving."

Y/M's eyes widened and her grip tightened around the steering wheel, her daughters very rarely confided in her. While she knew her youngest was safe in her promiscuity, neither of Y/M Robins' girls ever shared their secrets so for the most part she took finding out into her own hands.

"Honey," The forty four year old's calm tone was hardly comforting to the teenager, "if this is about you and Archie fooling around, your father and I figured that out a long time ago, like so long ago. Who do you think does your laundry? When your underwear starting looking like dental floss, we caught on pretty quickly."

Y/N felt like a deer in headlights, "Mum, what the hell?" Her cheeks heated to an inhuman temperature.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, as long as you're being safe and he's-"

"For the second time today, and I can't believe I'm saying this to you, but I am not having sex with Archie Andrews!" Y/N's high pitched voice sounded through the car. It truly was a blessing and a curse to have such open minded parents in situations like this. She thought about telling her mother the truth, but Y/M was a blabber mouth as well as a gossip, so Y/N chose to withhold certain pieces of information.

The Robins matriarch dropped the subject but didn't forget about her daughter's tone, and continued to ramble on about how odd she found Penelope Blossom and the whole Blossom family in general. "Like why on Earth is Rose in a wooden wheelchair? They know it's the twenty first century, right?"

As expected, the Robins household was once again filled with warm laughter and copious amounts of food. The topic of Jason was skimmed over, and Y/S found herself away from the dinner table. The eldest Robins sibling was currently pleading with Alice as she began shoving all of Polly's belongings in the boot of Hal's car. She couldn't comprehend life without her best friend, not after losing Jason. They were meant to be going travelling together for a year- working the worst jobs and staying up all night to watch the sun rise in different countries. But instead, Y/S's eyes were blinded by tears as she screamed down the street at the speeding car, with Polly Cooper taken out of her life indefinitely.

Y/N was oblivious to the dark inner workings of the Cooper clan, Betty's knowledge about her and Archie unbeknownst to the loved up teens. She'd spent every second not occupied by her internship trying to justify the romantic act as a fleeting moment of loneliness fuelled by alcohol. She wrote in her diary ideas on how she could win Archie back over, not knowing it was in fact, too late. Betty found herself hopelessly in love with the boy next door, unfortunately for her, the girl across the road was the only one his mind found.

Archie and Y/N washed up while their parents resided to the living room with three glasses and a bottle of white wine. The short girl turned the tap off after placing the last utensil on the draining board, flicking her sudsy hands at the boy's face. "What the-"

She didn't give him a chance to finish that thought, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his torso- planting a kiss onto his lips, then cheeks, then forehead. The two fell entranced by each other, planting pecks across nape of her neck and top of his head.

"Son," Fred's voice called out from the next room and the two immediately pulled apart, hearts beating in their ears, "we're going in a minute."

"Alright." He replied, placing his girlfriend on the floor once more.

"I wish you'd stay." Y/N pouted childishly, she meant the words entirely but hated feeling overbearing. Her life had been turned upside down this summer, it started off with her unable to fall asleep with another person next to her- now Archie's chest was her most comfortable pillow and is arms were the warmest blanket.

"Tomorrow night instead, Princess? I promised my dad I'd spend more time with him before senior year." The boy reasoned, holding her close and unknowingly feeling the exact same way, he adored holding her by her waist and pulling her close under the duvet.

"Monopoly night at yours?" She grinned and he nodded back in reply, the two sharing a final kiss in the kitchen before walking into the hallway.

Y/N felt at ease as she wished the two a goodnight and headed up to bed. She took off her tea dress and replaced it with Archie's bulldog t-shirt, managing to reach the same length on her thighs as her dress did.

Arch 🧡

I can still smell your perfume on my sheets

Tiger 💛

Marking my territory obviously x

Arch 🧡

I love it

Hope you sleep well baby x

Tiger 💛

Call me that tomorrow and we won't be sleeping so you better rest up tonight x

Arch 🧡

Whatever you say, baby x

Tiger 💛

Goodnight x

Arch 🧡

Night princess x

part eight?

wanna be tagged? just send in an ask x

[pseudosquilla]

Attachment theory is just that, a theory, and a flimsy one at that. The big issues is that it only considers a western middle nuclear family in regards to how an upbringing would even look let alone how it would manifest in the child. Growing up with only adults you really interact with are your mom and dad, of course they will have a huge huge impact on you!!! They are your only frame of reference, but somebody in a multi generational household or in some other non-nuclear family structures with plenty of adult figures to go to for support, that’s not the case. It also doesn’t capture the fact that we have evidence that people can have different “attachment styles” with different family members. There has also been studies that show somebodies “attachment style” in a relationship is only somewhat related to the ones they developed with their parents growing up.

Here’s the study covering different attachments with different parents

And for the parental attachment vs the romantic attachment one

Even when these terms are applied to romantic relationships only it comes off as pretty lackluster considering people tend to show a much wider set of traits in a relationship. There is something to be said about how trauma can impact how a person acts in a relationship but putting such a complex and nuanced topic into a few neat little boxes is dumbing it down way to much. Somebody can be obsessive over their partner but will avoid conflict at all costs, while another can avoid any amount of vulnerability but get nervous and accusatory when their partner does the same. I don’t have any written evidence for this, I recognize on your end this is hearsay, but I feel like a lot of people have seen this at least in platonic relationships.

Add that with how people seem so dead set on misusing psychology terms and now I can’t look at shit about avoidant behavior without being swarmed by people telling me that people like me are doomed to be an abuser in a relationship. “Avoidant attachment” as a way to describe those who avoid both vulnerability and conflict lumps together a lot of different kinds of people and intentions. Seeing people use that as a catch all term for a neglectful partner while using those “anxious attachment” as another way to describe a people pleasing victim is dangerous. Not everybody who deals with their fear of conflict and vulnerability by avoiding it is a bad person, they can be, but not always. The same can be said for those who seek constant reassurance and are mistrustful of their partner in a relationship, they aren’t always bad people, but they can be.

I’m not going to sit here and act like I have enough life experience to give truly useful relationship advice but I do know one thing: You can’t boil this shit into buzz words, the big failure of all of these theories that put the way we love into categories is that they always ignore just how deep this goes. What makes a partner abusive or toxic or just downright not a good fit isn’t something an white British dude from the 1960s is going to fully understand.

I wish people on tiktok never learned about attachment styles this is fucking hell dude